#I couldn’t identify the other one in the scene

[madlyfluffy]

This Geiger counter used in the quarantine scene in Astroid City is a Detectron DG-7 GM from North Hollywood ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[just-jordie-things]

you know you got me in your pocket - okkotsu yuuta

word count: 13k warnings: light swearing.  reader has a cursed technique that has to do with healing but i don’t explain it bc i’m lazy. summary: the path from friends to lovers may take time but it is a simple, true love they share more info: ultimate friends to lovers fic this IS the template a/n: loosely based on this fanart i found on pinterest and also the song always forever by cults bcuz i love that song its so friends to lovers coded ___

[ you and me, always, forever ]

Unlike most cases of friends who harbor crushes for each other but never seemed to figure it out, (y/n) had taken a liking to Yuuta the day they met.  She’d known right away that there was something about him that drew her to him like a magnet, something adorably mysterious, strangely alluring, and completely thrilling.

Seeing him on campus wasn’t a surprise.  Gojo had told her about his recruitment, and upon giving her further detail she’d lovingly told him it was more of a kidnapping.  He’d laughed.  And since then nothing had really changed.  She continued her studies with Shoko in the infirmary, only occasionally seeing the Six Eyes when he needed a new audience to bother, and in fact, she’d almost forgotten the news of a new student her age.

It’s not like there were many instances where she could be reminded.  She didn’t see the other students at Jujutsu Tech often, since they spent their time training to be sorcerers, while her cursed technique was more equipped for the behind the scenes of jujutsu society.  

So when she feels a heavy presence of cursed energy looming through the front gates, the hair on the back of her neck stands up, and she’s unusually drawn out of her studies to scan the area for the source of the prickle traveling down her spine.

If she didn’t know better, she might have just assumed it was just Gojo.  But it only takes a split second for her to identify this as someone else entirely.  She’s not sure if her shiver is due to fear or intrigue, but either way she just has to learn more, doesn’t she? 

And so you could imagine her surprise when she finally catches the sight of the sorcerer carrying all of this cursed energy, dragging along the main path on his way to the main building.  She can’t recall his name right away, but she assumes he’s the new kid that Gojo had told her about a week or so prior.

She’s far enough away that she doesn’t get a good look at him, but she can see enough from where she sits amongst the trees.  He’s not at all what she had been expecting.

He didn’t look like the piece of shit egotistical douchebag that she had assumed he’d be when Gojo had told her about him.

And if she couldn’t feel the cursed energy radiating off of him even from this far away, she might’ve thought he was a non-sorcerer altogether.

His shoulders sagged like gravity was heavier on him than most people.  He moved slowly.  His sneakers scraped along the pavement.  His hands were fiddling with each other anxiously, fingers catching and pulling and twisting over and over.

Perhaps she was letting her curiosity make her naive, but any fear she might have felt when he first entered the courtyard dissipated as she tracked his awkward movements towards the school.  Awkward.  It was the perfect way to describe her first impression of him.

He hadn’t seemed to notice her during her assessment of him.  And this was proven when their paths did properly cross.

It had happened late one evening, shortly after Yuuta’s initial admittance to Jujutsu Tech.  It only took one text from Shoko for her to be out of bed, in her uniform, and on her way to the infirmary.  Apparently, Yuuta was also racing around campus, for whatever reason, and that’s how he (almost literally) ran into her.

“Oh!” 

His greeting was just as awkward as her first impression of him.  She can’t help but laugh a little bit.  He’s clearly flustered, his eyes wide and his mouth not making any proper words, and the large knife in his hand looks severely out of place.

But he must see her look straight at it while he’s trying to figure out how to politely ask who the hell she was because he’s never seen her before- because suddenly he remembers how to speak.

“This isn’t mine!” 

He doesn’t mean to shriek, but he feels like he should explain why he’s running around at night with a knife.  It doesn’t dawn on him at all that she’s used to people casually carrying weapons around, and this little knife isn’t even close to being a concern for her.

Nonetheless, she goes along with it.  She should be rushing to the infirmary, but something keeps her put before him.

“Oh?” She tries not to laugh as she takes in his heavy wince.  “While I find your courage outstanding, I’m not sure this is the place you want to go stealing people’s knives,” She’s only teasing, but it does nothing to relieve the panic on his face.  “You know, cause people around here don’t need knives to kill you,” 

Yuuta swallows, and (y/n) finally gives him a break and shakes her head as she laughs to herself.

He expresses his anxiousness in small shuffles of his feet, and he tries to laugh along but the sound is strained and nervous.  If she knew him better and understood him, she likes to think she’d tell him to lighten up, but that feels like a bold step, so she tries to ease his anxiety with more subtlety.

“You didn’t spook me with that knife,” She clarifies.  “I’d be more scared of all that cursed energy you’ve got, if anything” 

“O-oh” 

“But I’m not,” She tells him, matter-of-factly.

He gives her a look like he’s not sure if he should believe her.  With the way the other students had reacted when they first met, he’s surprised she doesn’t have him in a chokehold right now.  Instead, she stands before him without a defensive stance, and she gives him a small smile.

“But… what are you doing out this late?” She can’t help but have curiosity about what he was doing there in the first place.  “Aren’t you all going out on an assignment first thing in the morning?”

Normally, she didn’t listen much when Gojo rambled on about his teachings.  However yesterday’s lessons with Shoko had been few and far between, so when her old friend stopped by for entertainment, she boredly listened along while he bragged about taking his class on a group outing.  She supposed that little piece of information became useful for small talk now.

“Yeah, well,” Yuuta sighed, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously.  “I was supposed to return this earlier, but I forgot, and now I…” 

His words trail off, along with his eyes as he turns to stare at the floor out of embarrassment.

“I got lost” 

“It’s Maki’s, isn’t it?” She asks knowingly, even though she’s not familiar with this knife.

Yuuta nods.

“I’ll show you the way” She says, gesturing for him to follow her, and walking off before he could really comprehend what she was offering.  His sneakers squeak on the linoleum floor as he rushes after her a few seconds delayed.

He takes a minute or two before he finds the courage to say something.

“Thank you,” He settles, peeking over at her from the corner of his eye.  “I’m Yuuta, by the way” 

She turns to give him a beam as she replies, “I know,”

It has a lump forming in his throat, his chest filling with something warm and akin to bashfulness.  He’d never seen her before, and he was certain he would have remembered if they’d met, especially since she was so pretty, but she appeared to be his age too, and he wondered why she hadn’t been around for any classes, or training sessions.

“I’m (y/n)” She introduces herself after a beat passes.  Yuuta wants to say something more, but he doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything at all.

He fidgets with the knife as he follows her through the corridors.  It’s a large building, and the longer they walk, the more he’s grateful he hadn’t gotten more lost than he had.  It takes a few minutes until she finally stops at a door, and slides it open.  Yuuta recognized it as soon as it’s contents were revealed.

Every inch of the walls were filled with weapons.  Racks with blades and staffs of all shapes and sizes, shelves of an assortment of more alternative weapons, he’d been in here when Gojo had given him a speedy tour on his first day.  Although now that he’s not being rushed from room to room, his gaze travels around the small space, taking in every deadly tool here.

“You’ll get used to it” (y/n) speaks, and he’s drawn out of his reverie when she plucks the knife from his hands to put it back in it’s proper place.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to any of this” He mumbles back, eyes caught on a rather daunting gun propped up among other things.

Nunchucks and knives were one thing.  He was pretty sure that was an AK-47.  He’d only ever seen those in movies.

(y/n) chuckles softly, amused by how out of place he seemed.  For a guy with more cursed energy than he knew what to do with, she found it interesting how juvenile he came across.

Not that it was a bad thing.  It was sort of… refreshing, if she thought about it.

“You will,” She assured him kindly.  “It’ll feel weird for a while, but, yaknow.  Eventually everyone settles in, right?” 

He tears his eyes away from the machine gun to see that she’s giving him a small smile, and he doesn’t know her very well, or at all, but he can tell that she’s being genuine.

“I guess”

He doesn’t know what else to say.

“Well, I have to get going to a lesson,” She explains, jerking her thumb back towards the door.  “You good to get back to your dorm? I probably wouldn’t get in trouble if I explained I was just helping the new kid” 

Yuuta nods, the movement awkward, and shaky.

“Yeah, I’m good, I think” He doesn’t sound so sure, but (y/n) assumes the best way for him to learn his way around is to get lost just a little.

“Alright, I’ll see ya around then,” She gives him a wave as she ducks out of the small armory.  “Good luck with your assignment tomorrow!”

Her voice carries as she jogs through the corridors to quickly get to where Shoko was waiting, leaving Yuuta to linger, a bit dumbfounded and bewildered by the whole interaction.

He supposed he’d gotten her name, but he still had no clue who she was.  He’d have to make a better effort to reach out next time their paths crossed.  She was the first person here to give him a semi-warm welcome, after all.

When (y/n) arrived at the infirmary with a brighter-than-usual smile and the remnants of a blush on her cheeks, Shoko eyed her curiously, but didn’t outwardly call her out on the strange demeanor.

[ say you’ll stay, never be severed ]

The next time Yuuta does see (y/n), he’s sitting alone at a picnic table in the courtyard with only the company of his lunch bag.  He sees her walking out of the building with a bag on her shoulder.  She’s clearly on a mission, but he finds himself calling out to her and waving his hand anyways.

He assumes she’ll give him a polite nod and keep heading on her way, but she stops in her tracks to turn his way, waving back, before she’s actually walking over to him.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but Yuuta panics a bit.  He had yet to form any solid enough friendships with the other students in his year, hence the lunching alone out here, and he had a worry that soon she would also see him as a loner and an outsider, and she’d avoid him too.

But as she approaches the wooden table, she gives him a smile so friendly he could never believe it was forced.

“Hey,” Even her voice sounds kind.  “You eating alone?” 

“Uh-” Yuuta glances around as if looking for an excuse, but the bento box in front of him and lack of any other person around is evidence enough.  “Yeah” He replies sheepishly.

Here it comes, Yuuta braces himself, the beginning of her thinking he’s a loner.  He shouldn’t have even held onto that scrap of hope when she’d walked this way, but here he was, holding his breath.

“Want company?”

His head turns back to her, assessing if she really meant it, and seeing that small smile still curled on her lips, he gives her a short nod.

“Yeah,” He answers.  “Yeah, that’d be… nice” 

Her small smile turns into a grin as she sits on the bench across from him, setting her bag on the table.

“How are you settling in?” She asks him kindly, and he gives a weak shrug of his shoulders.

“I guess… as well as I can,” He says honestly, and she nods back in understanding.  He pushes past the urge to sit in silence where he knows he can’t say the wrong thing, and continue talking to her.  She’s nice, he tells himself.  She’s nice, and I want to make friends here.  I want to be happy here.  “I think everyone’s a little afraid of me, to be honest,” He admits.  “Or they’re annoyed with how behind all of them that I am” 

“Maki can be a little stand-offish,” (y/n) thinks aloud.  “And Inumaki is hard to get to know at first.  But he’s a really nice guy once you do get to know him.  Just don’t be nervous when he’s silent.  He’s a goofball,” 

Yuuta takes her advice to heart, hoping that she could give him all the keys to friendship he’d been lacking.  He nods earnestly.

“And so is Panda,” She continued.  “But it’s been awhile since there’s been someone new around here.  That doesn’t really happen for us” 

“Really?” He asks, and she nods.

“Yeah.  Most of these people have known each other since they were young.  Or at least are aware of each other’s clan politics” 

“I see” Yuuta mumbles, feeling yet again like an outsider.  (y/n) can tell this information doesn’t sit well with him.

“I think it’s nice,” She says boldly, and truthfully.  He stares at her like she just said something ridiculous.  “When the only people you get to see every day are people you’ve known your whole life, it can be sorta lonely,” She admits with a small chuckle.  “It’ll be nice to get to know someone new,” 

She leans over the table a bit, setting her elbows down so she can rest her head in her hands.

“If that’s not too forward” She says with a bashful smile.

Yuuta blinks once, twice, before shaking his head with certainty.

“It’s not” He says, fast.

“Good,” (y/n’s) beam brightens.  “Want to have lunch with me again tomorrow?” 

He nods again, his nerves starting to melt away, letting him smile back at her.

“Will you be in class tomorrow?” He asks hopefully.  Maybe now he’ll finally have someone he can sit with, even if he’s still too shy to strike up a conversation, at least he won’t feel so alone all the time.

“Oh,” (y/n’s) lips quickly fall to a frown.  “I’m actually not one of Gojo’s students,” She tells him, and it makes her sad to see him deflate so fast.  “I’m training in the infirmary, with Shoko.  Have you met her?” 

Yuuta shakes his head.

“I don’t think so” 

“Well I’ll introduce you sometime,” She tells him.  “But I don’t have a decent enough cursed technique to be a sorcerer, so I’m studying under her in order to go more into the… background things” She explains.

“I see,” Yuuta tries not to let his disappointment show, so as not to make her feel bad.  He focuses instead on getting to know her better.  “So you’re working in, like, the medical field then?”

(y/n) nods her head from side to side.

“Something like that,” She chuckles.  “It’s mostly watching Shoko use her technique to heal injuries after rougher assignments.  I don’t get to use mine too much, but I’m starting to learn how to heal myself, so that’s a start, I suppose” 

“That’s cool!” 

(y/n’s) eyes blink wide in surprise.

“You can heal yourself?”

“I mean, I healed a papercut once” She laughs bashfully.  In comparison to Shoko’s reverse cursed technique, doing a shoddy job at patching up a small slice on her finger seemed like a joke.  But Yuuta grins like he’s never heard anything more interesting.

“You’re lucky,” He tells her, and she raises a brow at him, wondering if this was all some elaborate prank where he’d wind up laughing in her face at how weak she was compared to everyone else, compared to him.  “That’s a really useful ability.  That’s not background at all.  It’s helpful” 

As she processes the kind words, (y/n) wonders if this is why she’d felt drawn to him when they met a few nights ago.  Underneath the shy exterior Yuuta displayed was nothing but kindness, and warmth.  She could feel it in her cheeks, and in her chest.  Her heart even stuttered a little.

“I mean, I barely have a handle on it,” She admits.  “I don’t think I’ve been all that helpful to anyone” 

“But you’re learning, right?” Yuuta shrugs a shoulder in understanding.  “I guess that’s sorta how I feel, too,” He realized, dropping his gaze to his forgotten lunch as he thought about it.  “I just want to be…”

He trails off, but (y/n) waits with eager anticipation for him to continue his thought.

“Useful”

His voice is quiet, and his expression is unsure as he looks back up at her.  Suddenly feeling like that was far too pathetic of a thing to say to someone that he’d like to become friends with.  But before he can backtrack and supply a better word, like strong or courageous, she’s grinning.

Her face nearly splits in two as her beam stretches from ear to ear, all teeth and twinkling eyes to match.  A small laugh escapes her before she starts to nod passionately.

“That’s exactly how it feels,” She agrees, filling him with relief so strong it’s visible in the way his shoulders relax.  (y/n) notices, but doesn’t say anything.  Something warm and fuzzy nestles in her chest, and she has a good feeling about this new friendship blossoming.

Truth was, (y/n) got along fine with the other students here, but they’d only cross paths on occasion and she couldn’t say that she was necessarily close to any of them, simply on good terms enough to catch up in brief passing with one another.  The disconnect between her studies and the rest of the sorcerers-in-training around here was a trench of a gap, and if she was honest with herself, it could prove to be a little lonely.

Shoko was a great teacher, she was kind and involved, but she was still a teacher.  Gojo was… about the same, with just a bit more peskiness to him when it came to involving himself.  But it was all in good nature, he knew that she was a bit isolated here.

But then Yuuta came along.  And even just this short interaction had her glowing with excitement at finally forming a connection with someone.  He probably thought she was just being pleasant since he was the new kid and he’d been eating lunch alone, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.  She had a genuine interest in him that had started innocently enough, but she had a feeling it would only blossom into something more.

“I think that we’re going to be-” 

She’s about to voice this thought, about to tell him that she knows in her heart that they’ll make excellent friends, but her timing was just a tad too slow, and she was interrupted by her phone ringing.

With the intention of silencing it and ignoring the call for now, she gives him an apologetic look before pulling it out of her pocket, only to huff when she realizes it’s not a call she can just silence.

“Sorry,” She frowns.  “It’s Shoko, I should take this, she’s probably got something for me back at the lab” 

“It’s alright,” Yuuta smiles as he shakes his head in understanding.  “I get it” 

“Thanks,” (y/n) grabs her bag as she jumps up from the table, disappointed to cut their time short, but excited to see what Shoko would have in store for her today.  Before she can race off, she pauses, one hand gripping the strap of her bag and the other occupied with the phone that’s still ringing.  “Lunch tomorrow though, right?” She double checks.

The pink that dusts Yuuta’s cheeks is undeniable, and it makes a smile bloom on her face, too.

“Right” He says with a shy nod while he rubs his clammy hands over his knees.

“Alright,” (y/n) nods back, and she’d like to think she’s smooth, but she’s blushing just the same.  “I’ll see you tomorrow then, Okkotsu” 

She takes off before she can see his face turn from pink to red, his enthusiasm for having plans with a friend- a cute friend- shining in the heat of his cheeks.  

He spends the rest of his lunch period trying to think of things to talk to her about tomorrow, questions to ask, stories to share.  He racked his brain for fifteen minutes before going to class, where he then gets a little lost in space as he wonders about it some more.

[ you know you got me in your pocket, you don’t just have to wait around ]

When (y/n) feels that lingering fuzziness in her chest turn into something more, it was shortly after she’d spent the better half of an hour telling Shoko that her friendship with Okkotsu Yuuta was just that.  Friendship.

“If you say so,” The woman shrugged a shoulder as she pulled the gloves off of her hands, getting ready to wrap up the day.  “Just sayin’.  You talk about him a lot” 

(y/n) gave her a look, blindly tossing her own latex gloves into the trash.

“He’s my friend, I like talking about him,” She explains with nonchalance, even though her heart stuttered in her chest a little bit, as it did every time she mentioned him.  “And I’m also a boring person.  There’s not much to talk about”

“That’s not true, but whatever” Shoko brushes off the lame excuse, and (y/n) rejoices inwardly that the topic can be dropped before Yuuta actually shows up in a few minutes.  

Like most days, they had plans to meet up for lunch, except today they’ll be spending it with the rest of the first years.  After a couple of months, Yuuta finally felt like he belonged here, and had made decent friendships with his peers.  This morning he had texted her to ask if it was alright if they joined them.

[yuuta] : panda offered us seats at the lunch table with inumaki and maki too. do you want to have lunch with them? 

[yuuta] : ok if not!! just wanted to extend the invitation !!

It had made (y/n) smile when that second text popped up so quickly on her phone after she’d opened the first right away.  She could practically see him back pedaling just in case she wasn’t comfortable with a larger group for lunch.  Of course she was, she’d typed back an agreement with a little smiley face within a few seconds of reading the texts, but it was sweet that he’d stick to their usual plan of just the two of them.

Don’t get her wrong, (y/n) had grown to really cherish the time the two of them spent together.  She got to know Yuuta very well during their lunch breaks, and during a few hangouts after lessons and training, too.  She was happy to see how much he opened up once you got to know him, and she loved learning more about him every day.  He was kind, and funny in that nervous sort of way, and he picked up on things quickly.  

The couple of times (y/n) had spent her breaks from the infirmary on the bleachers to watch him train with the other first years, she’d seen a drastic change in his abilities with each session.  It wasn’t often that she was able to slip away long enough to get all the way to the bleachers, watch for a bit while having a snack or catching up on some reading, and then get back to the infirmary before Shoko called her out on trying to ditch her lessons.  Still, she was always impressed with how fast of a learner Yuuta was.  Whether it was with cursed energy or with a bamboo staff to practice wielding a proper katana, he seemed to be comfortable with learning how to fight.

In fact the last time she’d watched him, he looked so natural she could have assumed he’d grown up in jujutsu society just like the rest of them.

When he does make an appearance at the infirmary, Shoko notices him outside the door first.  With a smirk, she nods her head to get (y/n’s) attention.

“Your friend is here,” She says with a teasing lilt in her voice, despite her face remaining as stoic as usual.  

(y/n) gives her a look before turning around to see him waiting politely outside.  When their eyes catch, she gives him a smile and waves at him to come in.

“Picking you up for lunch, hm?” Shoko hums.  “What a little gentleman”

(y/n) shoots her another look, this time as if to say be nice when Yuuta walks in.  He’s still wearing his sheath, but the awkward smile and nervous fiddling of his hands makes a sword on his back look out of place.  For some reason, (y/n) has always found his simple juxtapositions adorable.

Despite having met Shoko before, a few times, actually, Yuuta always gets anxious around her.  It was probably her quietly peculiar aura, something (y/n) had grown used to after so much time spent with her, but in comparison to Yuuta’s teacher who’d never learned to revel in peaceful silence, it could be intimidating.

He gave her a small wave and nod in greeting.  Shoko smirked back at him before turning to (y/n).

“You two get back before too long, alright? No funny business” 

Yuuta visibly paled, his mouth opening to make an explanation that wasn’t coming to mind and left him standing there gaping.  (y/n) rolled her eyes as she grabbed her bag, hoisting the strap over her shoulder as she waved Shoko off.

“Bye Shoko” She said with a half-playful glare, before grabbing Yuuta by the sleeve and dragging him right back out the door before he even got the chance to say hello.

It’s not until they’re out in the hall that he finds his voice.

He tugs at his collar to relieve some of the heat from his neck.

“How were lessons today?” He settles for the safe topic of conversation.  Predictably, (y/n) lets out a small laugh.  She always seemed amused when he was uncomfortable.  He had yet to understand why.

“Good,” She’s kind to him today, not teasing him for his flustering.  At least not beyond that little smirk that makes her eyes glint when she looks at him.  “You?”

He nods his head from side to side.

“Maki kicked my ass,” He said sheepishly.  “But I did get a hit today” He said in a quieter voice, but there was still a hint of pride in his voice.  (y/n) beamed at him.  She understood this was a meaningful accomplishment.

“That’s awesome!” She cheered for him.  “You’ll knock her down next time for sure,” 

He thinks she could be messing with him, but when he looks over at her, her beam is nothing but genuine.  He laughs quietly, not as sure as she was, but appreciative of the sentiment nonetheless.

“Just make sure to invite me next time you spar,” (y/n) continues.  “I want to be there for the big day” 

Sometimes, she has a way of speaking that makes Yuuta wonder why she doesn’t really hang out with anyone but him.  She wasn’t exactly a soft person, he supposed it was this line of work they shared, but there was something inherently friendly about her.  He’d noticed it the first time they’d met, of course, and ever since he couldn’t ignore it if he tried.  For whatever reason, she seemed not only to care about him, but she actually believed in him, too.  More and more, Yuuta began to wonder why.

Inumaki, Panda, and Maki are already at a table with their lunches before them when Yuuta and (y/n) arrive.  Panda notices them first, grinning and waving a paw for them to join.

“(y/n)! Long time no see!” His voice holds pure joy upon her arrival, “How’s the infirmary?” 

“Oh, you know,” (y/n) smiles as she shrugs her shoulders.  “Blood.  Bones.  Repeat.  I can’t complain” 

Panda and Toge are sitting on one side of the table, Maki on the other, and (y/n) happily sits beside her.  Yuuta follows shortly.

“Yuuta told me next time, he’s going to knock your ass out,” She says boldly.  Maki raises a brow, her chopsticks stilling over her dish.  “You’ll let me come watch, yeah?” 

Maki’s eyes shift to Yuuta, a glare behind them that has him straightening in his seat.  Maki smirks at his discomfort, and when she turns back to (y/n), she grins ear to ear.

“I do love an audience,” She agrees, her smirk stretching into a grin at the idea.  She looks back to Yuuta, who’s focused intently on his rice.  “You two have been gettin’ real chummy, huh?”

(y/n) simpered at the comment.  Yuuta tucked his chin against his collar in hopes that they wouldn’t notice the way his face bloomed with heat.

“Tuna, tuna” Inuamki giggles as his elbow bumps into Panda’s arm, and he too begins to chuckle as they watch the pair’s reactions to Maki’s simple observation.

“(y/n’s)- uh- she’s-” 

“Yuuta’s a great friend” (y/n) speaks before Yuuta’s stammering can be laughed at any further.

“Must be, to make you finally come hang out with us” Panda says as he tries to quell his amused chuckling.

“Ikura” Toge mutters.

“Yeah,” Panda nods in agreement with the cursed speech user.  “We didn’t think you liked us anymore” 

Yuuta peeks over at (y/n) in his peripheral vision, but she plasters on a smile and shakes her head to disagree.

“Been busy” She says simply.  There is no follow up, no explanation or excuse.  She pops a grape into her mouth and leaves it at that.

Their lunch continues on as expected.  Catching up, teasing, swapping food.  Thirty minutes seem to pass faster than ever.  And despite enjoying himself amongst his friends, Yuuta can’t help but hyperfixate on that small, odd interaction.

It appeared as though (y/n) and the other first years had gotten along just fine.  Even mirroring old friends.  But he couldn’t help but feel like something was off, that things hadn’t always been this way, that there was a rift he hadn’t been present for.  He knows better than to question it straight away, so he matches energy and remains friendly the rest of the break.

But after telling his classmates he’ll meet up with them shortly, he lingers at the table while (y/n) packs up her things.

“That was nice” His voice feels stiff.  He clears his throat.

(y/n) looks up at him as she pulls the strap of her bag over her shoulder, a soft smile curling on her lips.

“It was” She affirms.

Yuuta shifts his weight from foot to foot as he tries to find the right thing to say next.  (y/n) watches this, and waits, patiently, for him to continue.

“I mean I… I like having lunch just… us,” He says, slowly, afraid of sounding too forward and insinuating something that could be off putting to her.  “But I’m glad you wanted to hang out with…” 

He struggled to find the right thing to say.  (y/n) tilted her head at him curiously, before providing the words for him.

“Your friends?” She suggests with a small smile.

Yuuta blinks, color spreading over his cheeks before his smile mirrors hers, and then he nods.

“Yeah,” He concurred.  

It must have been a rush of courage that compelled him to say what he did next, because as soon as he said it out loud, blood rushed up his neck and into his cheeks.

“You’re a great friend, too, by the way.  I’m glad you were here.  Or, well, are here”

She laughs, not because what he was was funny, but because she was overcome by delight by his words that she simply couldn’t contain it.  Her fingers curl tightly around her bag, her heart flutters with something sickeningly sweet in her chest.

This was that something more.  This wasn’t just silly eagerness towards a new friend.  This much more.  It was heavy.  It filled her heart until it burst and flooded her body with warmth, traveling down her spine in ticklish sparks, and ending in the tips of her fingers and toes.  It almost felt like cursed energy, the way it buzzed through her excitedly, on it’s own accord, but she knew better.

This was infatuation.  She was infatuated with Yuuta.  She had feelings for Yuuta.

“I’m glad you’re here, too, Yuuta,” She speaks with every genuine bone in her body, now reinforced with that tingling feeling that has her soft smile turning into a full blown grin.  “Really glad” She repeats softly.

He should feel embarrassed because he knows he’s blushing and he’s having a hard time holding eye contact with her, but for some reason, he doesn’t feel embarrassed at all.  Instead he smiles, bright and beautiful.

“I- I have to-” 

“You have class,” (y/n) laughs bashfully, turning away in an attempt to calm her warm cheeks and dopey grin.  “You should go before you’re late- I- I should go before I’m late” She stammers over her words, which is unlike her and more like him.

“Right, yeah,” He nods in a jerky motion as he starts to turn to leave, realizing he was going to have to run now if he wanted to make it on time.  “But I’ll- I’ll see you after? Maybe? Or do you have plans already we can just wait till tomor-” 

“After lessons works” (y/n) agrees.

“Okay- okay, yeah,” He’s still beaming, giddy with excitement now.  “After lessons” He repeats.

(y/n) giggles as she begins to make her way back towards the infirmary, in the opposite direction as him.  She gives him a small wave as she takes off, and Yuuta’s stunned in place for a moment before realizing that his tardiness was going to get him into trouble.

When (y/n) bursts through the infirmary doors with a string of excuses and pink cheeks, Shoko doesn’t say a word.  Not that she has to, her face says it all.

Yuuta is not spared in the same way.  When Gojo asks where he’s been, Panda is happy to supply what- or who- had kept him occupied.  He was teased relentlessly for the following fifteen minutes, but it didn’t bother him too much.  Sure, he was a little awkward at handling it and brushing off their assumptions.  He just hoped his classmates wouldn’t meddle and tell her about it later.

[ just come here and we can settle down ]

If Yuuta ever underestimated anything in his life, it was Gojo Satoru’s joy in meddling.

It’s a few weeks after the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons.  Jujutsu High is still under reconstruction, but it’s getting somewhere.  The gardens are being replanted, the courtyard isn’t just a pile of rubbish anymore, and slowly but surely, everyone is healing.

Especially thanks to (y/n), who had mastered her cursed technique.  Just in time too, as there were a lot of people that needed help.

Maki was finally recovering after pushing herself through physical therapy at a rate faster than (y/n) had ever seen in anyone before.  She was more amazed than surprised.  She would never underestimate that young woman’s abilities.

Toge was just starting to use his voice again, despite all of his friends telling him to just keep his mouth shut even if he was speaking in onigiri ingredients.  His sore throat still made his words sound choked and raspy, but he communicated with his friends nonetheless.

There were many other sorcerers that had gotten hurt that night, but just as her friends had, they were recovering, physically and mentally, from that horrible night.

Today the sun was shining.  It was still a chilly January day, but something about the clear skies drew (y/n) to linger on the steps of the main building.  She studied them beneath her boots.  Now that they were clear of snow, it looked as though a different color of stone was selected for their redesign.  Not too different, it was still a light brown, almost like sand, but different enough that the longer she stared at them, the more she could pick out the other differences between these and the old ones.  

“Ditching lessons?” 

Her eyes drag slowly away from the stone steps to see Gojo Satoru scaling them towards her.  His long legs had him next to her in a matter of seconds.  Truthfully, Shoko had said she needed a longer smoke break than usual today- which was only unusual because ever since christmas, she’d been taking longer smoke breaks, she’d only just mentioned it today.

“Not really.  Maybe” (y/n) replied indecisively.

“I’m still a teacher you know,” Gojo laughs at her honesty.  “I could get you in trouble~” 

The grin on his face tells her that there was absolutely no bite to his bark.  He just liked to pretend to be an adult sometimes.  (y/n) gives him a half hearted smile in amusement.  His grin weakens at the way hers drops as soon as she stares down at the stairs again.

He already knows what’s on her mind.  He was a better teacher than even he gave himself credit for.

“So he told you about Africa, huh?” 

Her head shoots back up, brows furrowed in a sad expression as she frowns at him.  

Yeah, he told me about Africa, she thinks, bitterly, even the thought making her mouth go sour.  She gnaws at the inside of her cheek roughly.

“I know you’re close.  I’m sorry that it’s happening,” Gojo sighs.  He stuffs his hands into his pockets.  “Kid’s got real potential.  He might even be stronger than me,” 

Just like his grin, his smirk speaks volumes.  (y/n’s) not sure if he really believes that, but she can tell he believes in Yuuta.

“Special Grade Sorcerers aren’t what they used to be, huh?” He asks, and she’s not sure if it’s rhetorical, so she just shrugs her shoulders, and directs her gaze downwards again.

Her throat burns.  Was that tears? 

“It won’t just be Africa,” Gojo says, slowly, like he’s trying to be careful.  She’s never known him to tread lightly.  He must really worry about her feelings.  She wonders why.  “Once he’s mastered his techniques, the geezers are gonna throw him at every curse they can sniff out” 

“I know” 

Her voice is small, but it holds enough certainty for Gojo to understand that she doesn’t need to be told what Yuuta’s future has in store.

“So,” Gojo takes a different tone as he kicks the toe of his shoe into a step.  “You’re not bothered that he’s a young widow, hm?” 

(y/n’s) face contorts into something strange and confused as she looks at him again.  She could almost laugh, if she wasn’t so disturbed by her teacher prying into her personal life.  She could tell him to buzz off, but it’d make no difference.  He’d probably just pester Shoko for the details and that would be even more embarrassing.

“I don’t even know what to-” 

“He cares about you a lot too,” Gojo says before she can finish.  (y/n’s) features relax as her eyes widen a little.  He looks out into the courtyard as if something interesting was happening over there.  “But Africa will be good for him.  And he’ll be back soon enough.  I’ll try ‘n pull some strings to have him visit, or something” 

Her impulse to say something snarky and get him to move on from the topic disappears.  Instead, she gives him a small nod, before tucking her cold fingers into the pockets of her coat.

“That would be nice,” She tells him, quietly, but surely.  “Thank you” 

Gojo grins from ear to ear as he turns back to his.  She has a feeling that under the white bandages, he’s winking dramatically.

He leaves without another word, leaving (y/n) a little bewildered by the sudden exit.  But then she sees another figure ascending the steps, and suddenly the cold isn’t the only thing making her cheeks pink.

Yuuta gives her the same smile he always does when he crosses her path.  Whether in passing or when he’s meeting up with her to hang out, his lips curl into the warmest smile she’s ever seen.  Even as clouds creep across the sky and snow begins to fall, she starts to feel toasty in her hat and coat.

She lies and tells him she has a few minutes to spare even though she’s been gone from the infirmary for a good twenty minutes now.  As they take a short walk around campus, her mood lightens up.  

They don’t talk about Africa.  Only good things.  A funny meme she’d seen, how Toge will be by the infirmary later because he refuses to keep his mouth shut to heal properly.  Maybe that wasn’t so much of a good thing, but Yuuta is laughing as he tells her about the pile of bloodied tissues accumulated at Toge’s desk.  Despite the twinge of guilt for laughing at their friend’s discomfort, she can’t help it.  Yuuta’s happiness is infectious.

This must be what swooning feels like, she thinks as she stares up at him while he tells her about his day.  It’s a silly story, maybe even kind of boring, but she hangs onto every word with eager anticipation at what he would share next.  He could read her the goddamn newspaper and she’d sit there with her head in her hands and give him her undivided attention.  Yeah, this is probably swooning.

“When do you have to be back?” Yuuta cuts off his rambling about training when he realizes they’ve been walking for some time now.

“Oh,” (y/n) shrugs sheepishly.  “Probably ten minutes ago” 

His eyes widen and he stops in his tracks, and before he even speaks she knows he’s about to apologize for taking up her time, so with a small laugh she shakes her head at him before he says a thing.

“Don’t worry about it,” She says, urging him to keep walking with her.  “Shoko needed some extra time today.  I don’t mind if I’m a little late” 

“You’re sure?” He double checks, because he doesn’t like being responsible for getting her behind schedule.  Nonetheless, he catches up to her as she keeps walking along the path.

Little does he know, if he asked her to ditch the rest of the day with him, she would take him by the hand and sprint off campus.

“Positive” (y/n) replies.

They continue to walk in the snow and talk about anything but Africa.  An unspoken agreement that it could wait.

[ oh darling, it’s alarming, to think of us apart ]

Eventually, they have to talk about Africa.

It comes up the morning Yuuta leaves. 

It’s early enough in the morning that it’s still dark.  Panda had helped him load his bags into Ijichi’s car, before giving him a quick goodbye so he could go back to bed.  Maki and Toge lingered a little longer, even in their pajamas.  But at some point Maki cursed about how early it was, gave her new friend a friendly- but not light- punch to the shoulder, and returned inside.

Toge and (y/n) were equally quiet, although for their different reasons.  Eventually Yuuta couldn’t fill the silence anymore, and they were out of time to stall.

To his surprise, Toge gave him a quick hug.  Just enough to give him a kind pat on the back and an eager ‘salmon!’ certainly wishing him luck on his big assignment.  Yuuta thanked him with a grin, proud to understand what he really meant.

Then he turned to (y/n), who’d barely moved an inch since sleepily walking out here.  He’d insisted to everyone last night that they could say their goodbyes then, but she’d stood her ground that she’d see him off today.  The others agreed.

Her arms were wrapped firmly around herself, and the smile on her face was sad when his eyes met hers.  Even when she tried to brighten up, to properly display her pride in him, she just couldn’t quite do it.

Toge watched as they stared at each other for a moment, neither one of them finding anything to say.  For a minute he thought it might be awkward, and he figured he should probably leave now.  

It only took Yuuta one step forward, his arms barely outstretched, before (y/n’s) finding the energy to leap towards him, crashing into him.  Her arms are thrown around his neck as she hugs him tightly.  As she tucks her chin against his shoulder she’s willing herself not to cry, because she knows it would make him feel bad, and that wouldn’t be fair.  Yuuta’s surprise has him hesitating for a second before he’s hugging her back, hoping to hold on just as securely as she’d latched onto him.

“Text a lot,” When she’s certain her voice won’t crack, (y/n) finally speaks.  “And call, too” 

Yuuta chuckles.  His eyes close as he rests his cheek against her head.  She’s never hugged him before, but he’s decided from this one that she’s the best hugger in the world.

“The time difference is-” 

“I don’t care” She mutters, and it’s punctuated with her arms squeezing around him a little tighter.

He returns the affection.

“Okay” He murmurs.

When they have to part, she lets out a shaky breath, and plasters on the widest smile she can.  She hopes he can see the tears in her eyes.  He does.

He gives her and Toge a wave before finally opening the door to the backseat.  He doesn’t say goodbye.  Instead he settles for, “See you later” 

(y/n) manages a little wave back.  It’s not until the car pulls away and is out of sight before a tear falls.  She’s quick to wipe it away.

Her and the cursed speech user walk back towards the main building together.  He gives her a sympathetic look.  She gives him a weak smile.

“Yeah, I know,” She sighs, drying her eyes once more and taking a deep breath in the hopes of not crying again.

He smiles back, but unlike hers, it’s bright, and cheeky.  He draws a heart in the air with his fingers.  She wants to roll her eyes, but she lets out a watery laugh at the action, and she knows her face is heating up with evidence of the truth.

“Something like that” She mumbles.  They don’t say anything else before parting ways to go back to their rooms.

By the time she collapses back in bed, she’s too awake to think about sleeping a little longer before her lesson with Shoko.  Pulling out her phone for a source of entertainment, she finds she already has a notification at this ungodly hour.

[yuuta] : try not to miss me too much :) i’ll be back before you know it

Tucking the blankets up to her chin, (y/n) settles into bed with a small smile.  Yuuta wasn’t often cheeky.  And when he was, it was always followed by a nervous laugh and bright pink cheeks.  Behind the shield of his phone he clearly has a leap in confidence.  She even laughs a little as she types back her response.

[ you and me, always, forever ]

Yuuta had some mixed feelings about going to Africa.

On the one hand, he was ecstatic.  He had finally climbed the ranks in this new life that he thinks could make everything make sense.  He felt a new sense of responsibility along with his new sense of self, and he knows that this debut of his in Africa was the next big step forwards.  He’d prove himself, he’d push himself, and he’d come home stronger than before.  He’d make his friends, and his teachers, proud of taking a chance on him.

On the other hand, his new purpose, this new sense of self that he was still discovering, felt so much more worth exploring when she was there too.  Yuuta wasn’t as naive as some may make him out to be.  He knew what love felt like.  He recognized that the ticklish feeling in his chest when she laughed, he was familiar with the buzz in his fingertips when she walked too close and her hand brushed over his.  He knows when he’s lying awake at night and she’s the one who crosses his mind that it’s no coincidence.

Yuuta knows that his heart holds much more than platonic regards for one (y/n) (y/l/n).  He knows that he adores her.  He knows that his heart longs for her in a way that couldn’t possibly be platonic.  The fact that they’ll have to be apart for some time makes him sad.  It makes him lonely.

Even now, after seeing her twenty minutes ago when they said their goodbyes, he already missed her.  He couldn’t help but text her right away, the desperation for keeping in contact pumping through him like ice, making him feel wide awake even at five in the morning.  The thought of losing touch over the next few months of him being away makes him sweat.  

He’d have to make sure to keep in touch, he makes a mental plan to always text her first thing in the morning, and last thing before he goes to sleep.  That way, even if he got busy throughout his day, he’d always have the time for her.  He wanted her to know that he’d always make the time for her.

Yuuta’s heart is racing, the adrenaline a toxic mix of excitement and anxiety.  Had he eaten a proper meal this morning he might’ve thrown up.

Just as he’s contemplating rolling down the window for some fresh air, his phone pings.

[(y/n/n)]: i take it you miss me already, yuuta?

It’s a silly little emoji, but he swears she’s sent him her heart in digital form and it leaps right from the screen and into his open palms.  He's smiling at the screen and responding with a reaction image he’d snagged from Toge just a few days ago.

[ you and me, always, forever ]

Gojo follows through on his promise.  Yuuta comes back to Jujutsu Tech for a small break after two months in Africa.

He gets to campus earlier than expected, surprising his classmates in the middle of a lesson.  Luckily today the lesson was rating the different flavors of kikufuku from a new shop Gojo had found, so he hadn’t interrupted anything too pressing.

It’s shortly after his early arrival that he asks the question that his friends think they should have placed money on him asking.  Maki mutters something to Toge about how she would’ve won had they done so.

“Where’s (y/n)?” 

While he stares at them with a dumbfounded expression, his friends laugh.  Loud cackling that’s intended to make him feel embarrassed, but he’s more confused than anything.  Even Gojo joins in once he’s not distracted by his leftover treats and Panda merrily tells their teacher that Yuuta’s already sick of them.

“That’s not it!” The poor boy puts his hands up in mock defense as he jumps to explain himself.  “I just want to tell her I’m back-” 

“She’s in the infirmary, genius” Maki crosses her arms, but her displeased attitude crumbles when a smirk tugs on her lips.  Yuuta forces a smile, but it’s awkward.  His nervous energy begins to shine through his excitement about returning home.

It’s not long after this that he’s delivering a string of excuses before darting out of the classroom and running to the infirmary.  Was it a little embarrassing to race towards her like this? Yeah, but there was barely anyone on campus right now anyways, so no one had to know just how eager he was to see her again.

Even though every bone in his body was practically vibrating by the time he made it there.

He peers through the small windows on the heavy doors outside the hospital classroom, making sure it was safe to enter before he barged in.  As soon as he looks inside he sees Shoko leaning against the cabinets.  (y/n) was standing in front of her, her back to the door, but she was easily recognizable to him.  Before he can knock to make himself known, Shoko catches him in her line of sight, and gives him an uncharacteristically wide grin.

In fact it’s so unusual on her face, that (y/n) perks up in the midst of whatever conversation they were having, curious to see what could've caught her interest so much.

Okkotsu Yuuta was not at all what she might have expected.

He gets to watch her light up in real time.  He hears her excitedly squealing from the other side of the door.  And somehow, even though it’s been a whole two months since he’s seen her, the ten seconds it takes for her to fly through the doors and into his arms seems to take too long.

She crashes into him so hard he stumbles to balance his footing.  She’s laughing and bouncing and rambling on, ‘I’m so happy you’re here! You’re early! I would’ve helped you with your things! Have you settled in? Have you eaten? Should we go get some food? I’ll order food! And we can stay in!’ She’s talking so fast that he catches about half of what she’s saying.  He only chuckles, not having the heart to tell her he can barely understand her.

Her arms squeeze tight around his neck before she finally lets him go.  With twinkling eyes and a smile so wide it must be sore on her cheeks, Yuuta’s slowly melting heart completely dissolves.

“Your hair’s different” She tilts her head at him while she admires the way his slightly longer hair is styled around his face.  She lets her curiosity get the best of her, reaching a hand out to gently push a strand away from his forehead.  

Yuuta hadn’t really given any thought to his hair.  He can’t remember when exactly it had gotten too long, when he’d parted it differently so it wasn’t a hindrance, but now he’s second guessing the change in style as if that change had been a conscious choice.

“Bad different?” 

There’s a small giggle in the back of her throat that she can’t help when his brows furrow at her.  He’s so cute, she thinks her heart could melt right here.

She shakes her head at him in a small motion.

“No,” She assured him.  “Good different” 

A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips, a proud little smile, like he’d gotten her to admit her deepest, most well kept secret.

“Good different?” He repeats, his voice dripping with mirth.

She rolls her eyes and crinkles her nose, but there’s no hiding the warmth in her cheeks and the way her dimples show when she smiles, even when she ducks her head from him.

“Shut up, Yuuta,” She pushes his shoulder but just as quickly grabs him by the elbow.  “Now come on! The day’s almost over already and we have so much we need to catch up on!” 

She forgets her bag in the infirmary as they wander campus together for a while, making pitstops to get him unpacked for his short visit and to snack up before they make their simple plans for the evening.  Conversation never ceases, even when she’s trying to place a takeout order over the phone, she finds herself remembering various little stories and jokes that she’d tucked away in her memory to share with him.  

There’s been a change in him.  It wasn’t just the training that treated him well with lean muscle, it wasn’t just the haircut, or the way he’d learned to wield his katana like it was an extension of him.  It was confidence.  It was happiness.  He didn’t stutter over his words nearly as often.  When he spoke he was sure of the things he said.  He would still blush when she got close enough or whispered something exceptionally sweet to him, but he was better at holding eye contact, and grew quite comfortable with reciprocating the small affections.  Maybe that was just it, he was finally comfortable here, and with himself.

Time flies faster than it had when they were apart.  The afternoon turns to evening which turns to the middle of the night.  They’re still sitting on the common room couch, side by side, lost in their own little world as a forgotten movie plays in the background.  Some of it had been watched when they’d eaten, but the takeout boxes on the coffee table are empty now.  Yuuta’s yawning and (y/n’s) eyelids are heavy as she tries to keep her attention on him while he tells a story, his voice getting lower and his words coming out slower the later it gets.  It’s not until he’s slumping into the uncomfortable cushions of the old couch that they even think to check the time.

When they do decide they’ve been up for too long, they make their way sneakily back to their rooms, hoping to remain as silent as possible.  But anyone who was up at this hour would hear their hushed laughter and aggressive shushing.  Yuuta bids her goodnight with the promise of taking everyone out for breakfast in the morning, but before he drops her off at her door, they share one more embrace.

She means to keep it quick, she really does.  She knows he’s tired, and maybe a little annoyed with all of the affection today, but she was so happy to have him back that she couldn’t help but want to keep him close forever.

Yuuta doesn’t seem annoyed in the slightest.  He hugs her back tightly, and makes no move to let her go anytime soon, so she doesn’t, either.  They stand that way at her door for an unknown amount of time, each waiting for the other to pull away first.

It takes some time, but eventually she shuffles out of his hold and gives him a bashful little smile followed by, “I’m really glad you’re home, Yuuta” 

The tension lays itself on thick, making sure to smother Yuuta until the back of his neck feels hot and his heart beats so hard in his chest he’s certain she’s going to notice and tease him for it.

“Me too” He manages to murmur back.  

He’s lucky he’s able to return her sweet ‘goodnight!’ too, because his throat is tightening on itself and he thinks he could start choking just standing there.

When he drags himself back to his own room and his heart calms down- just a little bit- Yuuta decides he’s going to have to do something about that tension before it kills him.

[ you and me, always, forever ]

“This is getting ridiculous,” Maki declares before kicking open the classroom door.  Her two friends follow in behind her.  “It’s actually going to make me sick.  I think we should just say something already” 

“Don’t kick doors down Maki” Panda sighs, but his warning goes ignored.

“Salmon,” Toge shrugs his shoulders, raising his hands to be palms up, as though indicating what else is there to do?

“Well for starters, we get the idiots to talk to each other,” Maki states, picking up the notebook off her usual desk.  

It was the whole reason they came back to class so late in the day, seeing as this particular notebook had the notes from their lesson earlier.  It was important she made the trip back for it before they started their study session.  She did take the better notes of the three of them.

“Apparently all their time together isn’t getting anywhere,” She huffs.  “I swear, all he does is talk about her.  He’s bound to have something good enough to confess already, right?” 

Toge giggles into his collar.

“Ease up a bit, they’ll come around to it when they’re ready, won’t they?” Panda tries to be the voice of reason.  

There’s a pause for silence.  And then Toge and Maki are cackling so hard they have to hold their stomachs to relieve the twisting knots of their muscles.

“It’s been months!” Maki hollers through her mania.

“Salmon!” 

“I mean, how much more of this can you guys take?” She doesn’t give them the time to answer her question.  “I can’t stand listening to him ramble on and on about her.  Did you know the one phone call I got, he talked about her the whole time?” 

“You’ve mentioned” Panda mumbles, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head.

“Tuna tuna” Toge agreed, before making a crude motion with his hands that had Maki bursting into laughter again.

Maki rolls her eyes, before grabbing her missing notebook from her desk and stuffing it into her backpack.  She’d been holding back on intervening on these two for months now.  At first, she didn’t care enough.  If (y/n) and Yuuta wanted to dance around each other like children with crushes then that was their business.  But now the romantic tension was so thick it choked her up to be in a room with them.  The lingering stares, the flirty giggles, the blushing- gah- she couldn’t stand it.

Don’t get her wrong, she didn’t hate love, and she didn’t hate either of them for being in love.  She hated wimps.  And these two were being the wimpiest people she’s ever seen for not fessing up already.

Also, wasn’t she just being a good friend for getting two dumbasses in love to admit they’re in love with each other? She did want them to be together after all, they were good for each other.

“I think it’s sweet that he loves her so much!” Panda argues.  “I don’t mind listening to it.  (y/n’s) really nice.  They deserve each other” 

“Oh, yeah, they deserve each other,” Maki agrees but her tone drips with something hostile.  “No shit, do you not see how much she stares at him?” 

Toge’s snickering gets louder.  It wasn’t often there was gossip among the small group, there wasn’t exactly time for it.  But this was rather entertaining, and watching two of his friends trip over themselves with how hard they’d been crushing on each other had been the cherry on top.

“Well, yeah,” Panda finally lets out a small laugh.  “Actually, the other day I was talking to her, and I don’t think she heard a word I said,” He chuckles as he recalls the way her eyes glazed over and a dopey little smile took over her face.  “I don’t know how he hasn’t noticed it” 

“Salmon” Toge scoffs.

“Yeah, he’s more oblivious than she is” Maki agrees.

“But I don’t think we should do anything about it” Panda tries to reason.

“They’re never going to make a move if we don’t say something,” Maki huffs.  “Can’t they just get it over with already? How hard is a confession anyways?” 

“Like you’ve ever confessed to anyone” Panda throws back at her with a proud grin.

Toge makes a sound of delight to see the gossiping turning into something much more interesting.

Maki glares at the both of them before snarling.

“That’s it!” She declares, throwing her bag over her shoulder.  “I’m going to go tell them right now.  Whoever I find first is going to hear great news today!” 

“Maki don’t!” Panda hollers, marching after her out the door.  “It’s not our place! That’s an invasion of privacy!” 

Toge’s enthusiastic babbling of rice ball ingredients follows them out into the hall, eager to see where this was going to go.

The classroom door slides shut behind him, and the sounds of their heavy, quick footsteps drones on until they’re too far to be heard.  It’s not until the room is completely silent that a small exhale of relief is heard, under the large desk that Gojo pretended to use during his lessons.

“I think we’re in the clear” Yuuta whispers, once he’s absolutely certain that no one is left in the room.

He drops his hand from over (y/n’s) mouth, where she’s been gnawing on her bottom lip for the last six minutes in fear that their classmates were going to notice them hiding under there.

“Really?” She asks in a teasing tone of voice.  “Because it sounds like they’re looking for us” 

Yuuta huffs in defeat, a look on his face that completely contrasts her own.  (y/n’s) brightened, grinning from ear to ear and giggling under her breath.  

They’re squished into the small space so when she giggles he can feel her breath fanning over his neck, and even though he wants to grab her by the shoulders and make her come back to reality- which is that their friends are on a rampage right now to get them to confess to each other, something they’d just done minutes before they’d stormed into this very classroom- but he can’t.  He takes one look at her, with her starry eyes and cute smile and he accepts whatever fate has in store for him.

(y/n) had surprised him here, happily announcing she wrapped up her lessons early so that they could spend the afternoon together.  He only had a few days left until he’d be shipped off to Africa again, so she’d worked diligently today to be sure she could give him every spare minute of her free time.  Somehow they’d wound up in the classroom alone.  

One minute Yuuta’s going on about how excited he was to hang out with her and the next thing he knows he’s accidentally letting it slip that he’d like to have her all to himself all the time.  He realized instantly that he’d said something a little too romantically charged because suddenly she’s staring up at him with those damn wide eyes and a smile full of secrets.

He must’ve said something right though, because one thing led to another and she had an iron grip on his collar while her strawberry gloss smeared all over his mouth.

(y/n) smirks now as she reaches her thumb up to his lips now, wiping away a subtle speck of pink glitter that had been left behind there.  Her face heats up as she recalls how carried away she’d gotten just minutes ago.  Until their friends showed up and nearly caught them in the act.  

Had Maki kicked down that door just a minute earlier, they surely would’ve been caught in their scrambling.  More specifically, they would’ve caught the awkward way Yuuta had lifted (y/n) off the desk he’d just set her on, only to hustle them both under the desk, the only half-decent hiding place in this whole room.

“You’re kidding,” She’d mumbled when he drew his knees to his chest and beckoned her to duck under with him.  She crowds into the space, but not without scolding him.  “They’re definitely going to-” He covers her mouth with his large palm, effectively quieting her, just as the door slams open.

Now she knows they should be scrambling out of here, before they were eventually caught- again- but she stays put in the tiny space where their legs are sore and cramped together.

“So you talk about me to all your friends, hm?” She muses, leaning in impossibly closer to give him her best shit eating grin.  It easily has Yuuta blushing from his neck to his ears as he turns his head to relieve himself from the heavy eye contact.

“Yeah yeah,” He mumbles, tugging at his collar in an attempt to soothe the heat.  Just as the embarrassment settles in, he whips his head back to meet her stare with a wild look in his eye that actually catches her off guard.  “But you’ve been staring at me!” He says.

She opens her mouth to defend herself, but the proof had been hollering in this very room just moments ago during Maki’s fit.  Panda had happily supplied the damn evidence.

So she shuts her mouth, and now Yuuta’s beaming at her with victorious pride.  

“So it’s true!?” He asks excitedly.

“You already know that, jerk,” She rolls her eyes at him, but it’s filled with affection.  “You’re the one who’s in love with me!” She says with a jab to his chest.

Yuuta catches her hand with his before she can pull it away, making her pleased little grin fall to something softer.  He’s able to watch in real time as her eyelashes flutter when her glance darts down to his lips, and when she looks up at him again, it’s with color in her cheeks and a sweetness in her gaze that has him turning to putty.

What was meant to be a half-hearted jest based on something Panda had said that she wasn’t exactly meant to hear now hangs in the air between them so heavy it feels like gravity grows in strength.  Her heart is pounding in her chest.  Her hand feels hot in his.  And now she sits with baited breath and wide eyes as she waits for him to say something.

Yuuta’s smiling, his free hand coming up to the nape of her neck, sweeping her hair away before pulling her closer.  She tilts her head towards him, but he stops just before their lips could graze over one another.

“You love me too?” He whispers.

He phrases it like a question, but he already knows it to be true.  He just wants to hear her say it.

Her lips quirk into a sweet smile as her eyes flicker between his, lashes heavy, pupils blown wide in her irises.  She’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, and the thought of getting to love her and be loved by her has his heart racing so fast he’s almost forgetting that he’s asked her a question because all he wants is to kiss her.

“Of course I do,” She murmurs, her soft lips ghosting over his, eager to feel them against hers again.  “Think I’ve always loved you, Yuuta,” She adds in a quieter voice.  A carefully protected deep adoration in her heart, now bestowed upon his.  “Think it’s always been you and me” She hums softly, taken away by the warmth in her chest and the butterflies in her tummy.

She could sit here and whisper sweet things to him for hours, maybe even forever.

His thumb strokes under her jaw in a gentle motion, caressing the junction at her jawline and neck.  He looks radiant, smiling down at her like nothing’s ever made him so happy.  This spurs her into wanting to say more sweet things, but before she gets the chance, he’s slanting his lips over hers.

She melts into him in every sense of the word.  Her free hand reaches for his shoulder, before sliding around his neck so she could lean into him further.  The small space they’re still hiding in only shrinks as she tries to get closer to him.  Both pairs of their legs are too long to keep bent under the desk, so she sticks one leg out, accidentally kicking the chair in front of them but she pays it no mind.  She just focuses on getting closer to him, hooking her other leg underneath herself to give her better leverage and a tiny bit more space to scoot closer.

Her hands are on his collar again as soon as he grabs her by the hips.  He gives them a gentle squeeze and she giggles softly into his mouth, breaking their kiss for only a moment.  They share wide smiles and lovesick eyes before leaning into each other again and sealing their lips in a heated and much more passionate kiss.

They don’t think at all about the noise of the chair clattering across the floor or the distinct sound of their giggling as they get swept away with one another.  In fact they completely forget that they’re only in this position because they’d been trying to keep hidden.  Both too consumed with memorizing the feeling of each other’s lips.  

It’s a sweet moment, really, the first time young lovers get to explore the way the other kisses.  Gently, with timid, inexperienced brushes.  Or hungrily, with eager, heated desire.  Taking their time was a luxury they’d thought they could finally afford.

But this time when the door opens it’s with stealth.  It slides in silence, and the steps that creep in are also with slow precision, so as not to make even a creak in the floorboards.

All that can be seen by the three intruders are the three legs jutting out from under the desk.  A familiar pair of Converse and one familiar Mary Jane with a heart shaped buckle kicking gently about on the floorboards, rocking with delight.

The hushed sound of lips smacking only ceased when there was a giggle, one of them or both of them, murmuring between kisses and giggles like a pair of school children.

There’s a few things that are audible, murmurs of ‘I love you so much’ or ‘you’re so pretty’ repeated between them like mantras.  This continues for a minute until one of the three takes a heavier step than he means to with his paw, and the room goes completely silent- save for the lewd ‘smack!’ of a pair of lips seizing upon hearing the tell-tale sign of a lurker.

Maki and Toge glare back at Panda, who sheepishly grins and shrugs his shoulders.

(y/n) and Yuuta stare at each other in horrified shock.  They don’t get the chance to come up with a plan of attack before someone is on top of the desk with a squeak of sneakers.  And then Toge is bending over the surface, staring wide eyes at the two in a rather compromising position- (y/n’s) leg is thrown over Yuuta’s lap and being kept there by a firm hand, her hands are still balled up in his unbuttoned collar, their lips are thoroughly swollen she’s effectively transferred most of her lip gloss onto his mouth, and chin and neck- there’s nothing innocent about them.  Toge stares between them both before he lets out a whistle, giggling as he hops off the desk again.

Yuuta winces as he quickly releases his grip on (y/n’s) leg so they can both scramble out from under the desk and up to their feet.  It’s ungraceful, uncoordinated as they awkwardly untangle to clamber upwards.  Yuuta hits his head on the hard oak loud enough that they both wince, (y/n) quickly inspecting the instant bump that forms at the occiput of his skull.

“No way!” Maki breaks the tension first, her jaw hanging open as she grins in amusement at having caught the two of them here.  “You were hiding out in here the whole time!?”

“Tuna!” Toge shoves his finger in their direction in accusation.

“Kissing!” Panda gasps, his paws over his face.

“Why didn’t you just say something,” Maki huffed.  “Walked around for ten minutes for no reason.  Waste of my time” She grumbles as she crosses her arms.

“Uh, sorry” (y/n) said sheepishly.

“Yeah, sorry,” Yuuta pipes up.  “It was just… uh… awkward” 

“You’re awkward!” Maki barks back with a dismissive wave of her hand.  “Jeez, glad you got it over with finally” She bids them her blessing with rough words before spinning around and leaving the room without saying anything else.

Panda gives them a bright smile and nod of his head, his own friendly way of telling them he was happy for them.

“Hope you’re happy” He tells them out of the kindness of his soul before excusing himself as well.

“Salmon!” Toge agrees with a grin and friendly wave before also leaving.

All the lurking around they’d done, only to give them space as soon as they caught what they needed to.

The remaining pair turned to each other, gaping mouths turning into shy smiles as they slowly burst into laughter together.  What was supposed to be a slow introduction of new feelings to explore had now been on display to pretty much everyone they knew.  Shyness began to wash away as there was no more use for it.  Yuuta reaches for his hand and (y/n’s) fingers intertwined with his as though they’d familiarized themselves there before.  She smiles as he uses her hand to pull her closer to him, until the toes of her shoes barely bump into his.

They don’t say anything, they don’t need to.  (y/n) knows what he means when he cradles her face in his palm and smiles down at her.  He knows what she means when her nose crinkles and her free hand reaches to hold onto his collar once more.  Their ‘i love yous’ had almost always been silent, and they would forever understand it in its unspoken form.

__

this is for @staygoldsquatchling02​ for being excited about my rotting brain full of yuuta fluff a/n: y’all i got soo carried away with this-

xoxo ~ jordie

[youremyonepiece]

soft terror

zoro x gn!reader (no pronouns used), zoro's pov

in which zoro attempts to identify what he feels for you. (he's not entirely successful.)

warnings: none, just fluff (please lmk if there are any i should add!)

word count: 2.3k

part 2

honestly, zoro is scared of you.

terrified.

it's a strange, unknown feeling to him. in fact, it isn’t until many long months after you’ve joined the crew that he even recognizes the emotion.

no, he had felt no apprehension at all when he first saw you. you were being held prisoner on a pirate ship, one that had engaged the merry in battle in hopes of cashing in on the straw hats' massive bounties. in the midst of the gunpowder plumes and flying splinters he had seen you, cowering on the enemy deck with your wrists cuffed in front of you, trembling but eyes bright and determined. he couldn’t keep his own eyes off you, distracted as they tracked your path to what he assumed was the edge of the enemy ship. what were you trying to do?

zoro swung absentmindedly at a rope that was thrown over the rail of the going merry, realizing the strength behind his swing too late. all he could do was tear his eyes away from you and watch as the force of his blade traveled across the water before slicing the enemy ship clean in half.

a silence fell over the scene, everyone seemingly frozen on both sides as the two halves of the ship began to slowly tilt inwards on each other, before--

“whoo! nice one, zoro!” luffy cried out, arms thrown up in the air. his yell was immediately followed by the panicked sounds of the enemy pirates as they began to scramble in hopes of survival, the straw hats entirely forgotten.

usopp crawled out of his hiding spot, cheering as he made his way to the merry’s railing to watch the enemy ship’s slow descent into the murky water. “perfect! exactly as i planned!”

he glanced nervously over at zoro to see if the swordsman would call out his lie, but zoro’s attention was back on you. were you-- were you going to jump? what were you thinking? still, he couldn’t help but admire your tenacity. you really weren’t going to give up, willing to even brave the ocean with your hands bound to escape.

“luffy!” he called out, pointing you out in the chaos.

luffy, hearing the urgency in zoro’s voice, looked in the direction he was pointing at and quickly found you, understanding what zoro was requesting of him almost immediately. he reached forward, gummy arms stretching far before wrapping themselves around your waist and retracting with the same speed.

you stumbled as you both lost and found the ground from under your feet in a matter of seconds. it didn't take you long to find your footing, however, and you quickly produced a roughly carved wooden stake from the folds of your tattered clothes. you held it defensively in front of you, eyes darting wildly between the straw hats as you tried to gauge the situation. "what- what the hell?" you breathed out, eyes wide with panic.

at your words, zoro sheathed his swords and held his hands out in front of him reassuringly (he knew he'd be able to handle you and the stick you clutched desperately, even unarmed-- despite your apparent confidence in your makeshift weapon, he could tell it wouldn't withstand a single hit, and you yourself were at least a good foot shorter than him). he cleared his throat before speaking, still a few feet away from you. "i'm not going to hurt you. none of us are. are you okay?"

unexpectedly, zoro found himself trusting you-- at least, trusting you to not be a threat to the crew. you couldn't be, he tried to justify to himself. you were too shaken, too frail, too exhausted to have been faking it. the terror in your eyes as they darted between his crewmates was too real for him to even consider suspecting you.

(looking back, zoro definitely thinks his decision had been unwise. he had been correct, of course: you would never do anything that would put the crew in danger. that isn’t the problem.

the problem is that he had believed you way too quickly.

but he also knows he doesn't regret it, because it had been you.)

it had taken a good fifteen minutes for the crew to calm you down and convince you that they weren't planning on killing you or taking you prisoner. zoro still remembers the relief flooding your eyes, your shoulders sagging for what seemed like the first time in months, the gratitude cluttering your mouth and spilling out all at once in a jumble. your flimsy weapon slipped from your fingers and laid indistinguishably amongst the debris from the fight. luffy stepped towards you, his friendly demeanor disarming your alarm as he easily broke off the wooden cuffs around your wrists. tears of exhaustion dropped from your eyes as you collapsed on the merry's deck, still conscious but too overwhelmed to keep standing or even properly cry. but the joy on your face was unforgettable.

(he doesn't want to admit it to himself, but he remembers every face you've made from then till now. he remembers it all. he can't help but to.)

he had let luffy take over introducing the crew to you, instead choosing to hang back against the wall of the kitchen and watch you. you were still slightly guarded, not entirely believing you were truly safe but not having any fight left in you to question it at the moment.

when your lips finally curved into a small, cautious smile, zoro had felt a strange sort of satisfaction deep within him. as if an itch that started when he first saw you had finally been scratched. and then-- and then you turned to glance back at zoro. his breath caught as his eyes met yours. yours were hopeful, searching, as if looking for confirmation that this was all really happening, that this wasn't too good to be true. he remembers being taken aback, surprised that you had looked at him of all people, but he hadn't shown it. instead, he'd just nodded once, and that'd seemed to be enough for you-- your smile had grown and your shoulders had relaxed by another inch.

that was the first time he had felt the strange feeling stirring within him. he hadn't known what it was, and that meant he didn't like it.

it had surfaced a few more times as you slowly but surely began to integrate yourself into the crew. at first, the plan had been to drop you off at the next town they found along their way, but that was quickly forgotten. you fit in well with the crew, like a puzzle piece they hadn't realized they'd been missing. it took a bit, but soon you opened up and were laughing as loud as luffy, usopp, and chopper during meal times. your love for reading helped you bond with robin and nami, and of course the damn cook was infatuated with you, what with how nice you looked.

you looked so nice, in fact, that zoro found his eyes glued to you whenever you were around.

which, unexpectedly, had seemed to be increasingly often in the weeks that followed. he had begun to notice you hanging out in his vicinity whenever he'd been taking a nap. same with when he'd been training.

at first, he tried to ignore you. tried to pretend like everything was normal and that your presence didn't make him feel strange things he'd never felt before. but it was hard to do. you were like a magnet; he was unavoidably drawn to you.

(you still are; he still is.)

when he couldn't take it anymore, when tamping down his nerves with strong doses of denial stopped working, he finally asked you, "what're you sitting here for?"

you smiled and he felt the familiar pit begin to form in his stomach. "where else would i sit?"

he jerked his head to the side, indicating with his eyes. "with everyone else."

your eyes followed his to the kitchen, from where the sound of some of the others laughing drifted out from behind the closed door. your smile didn't waver as you responded, "but being with you is... peaceful." your eyes found his again and your smile widened. he felt the pit grow, his heart thrumming loudly in his ears-- was he dying? "calming,” you continued. “i'd rather stay out here with you, if that's okay."

he barely managed a nod before turning back to continue his workout, desperately trying to ignore the heat creeping up his neck and hoping you had, too.

it was that night as he lay in his hammock staring at the ceiling that he finally recognized the strange feeling that overtook him every time you were near.

fear.

you are terrifying to zoro.

now that it’s occurred to him, he is sure of it. of course it’s fear. it explains the way he's always aware of you when you’re near, the way his pulse seems to quicken when you draw close to him, the way your eyes on his seem to freeze him in place. and of course he didn't recognize it at first. he’s roronoa zoro-- he didn't feel fear.

at least, not normally.

(somehow, you are always the exception to all his rules.)

it's not that he thinks you could hurt him or the crew that makes you scary-- he knows you wouldn't, even if you could.

he thinks it's your smile, wide and unabashed-- or maybe it's your laugh, so bright and sunny and full of joy. it could also be your eyes, with their tendency to display your thoughts to him in high resolution, vibrant as a flower field in bloom and just as alive.

no, that's not true. he knows what it is-- it's you. all of you. your hands that seem to be so gentle when helping chopper tend to the crew's wounds, but also so determined as they clutched your weapon of choice in battle. your legs, the way they always tucked underneath you so neatly as you folded yourself into odd positions whenever you took a seat. your lips, that he could not help but dream of, to long to touch.

you are so soft.

you are the complete opposite of him, he who had been forged in combat. he who only knows of sharp edges and swift force. he, who is so afraid of what will happen if he ever dares to allow himself to grow accustomed to your touch.

because it is so tempting.

he remembers the first time he touched you like it happened yesterday. it was so innocent, so inconspicuous and not even really anything worth remembering, but he did. of course he did.

he had just taken his seat at the merry's dining table when you passed him his plate of riceballs that sanji prepared for him. his fingers brushed against yours as he took the plate from you-- and that was it. see, nothing, just a whisper of a touch-- and yet, to him, everything.

your fingers had been so warm. he couldn't stop wondering how your entire hand might feel, held in his, and he later dreamt of it when he took a nap on deck in the warm early evening sun-- the sun that always reminded him of you.

he felt so pathetic, so torn apart and undone at just that slight brush.

the second time you touched him had been considerably more significant. it had been just after a fierce showdown with a family of sea kings; your exhaustion after taking down one entirely on your own had you stumbling as you walked back to the sleeping quarters. luckily, he was right behind you, also hoping to get some more rest after the spontaneous morning exercise, and caught you in his arms before your knees hit the ground when you suddenly collapsed.

your eyes widened slightly in surprise before you looked up at him with a sheepish smile, cheeks pink. "thanks. guess i was more tired than i thought."

he wasn’t able to fall asleep once you both made it back to your own respective hammocks a few minutes later. instead, he listened to the faint sound of your breathing as it evened out and slowed down. the soft breaths barely reaching his ears were meditative, trance inducing, and before he knew it you were stirring and stretching, urging the sleep to leave your bones after having resided there for a few hours. he remained still, pretending to be asleep as you quietly slipped away so not to disturb him. it wasn't until your footsteps faded away that he was finally able to sleep, no longer electrified by your presence.

(he dreamt of you, of course.)

after that, though, zoro lost count.

it had been as if him catching you that day had broken a spell-- suddenly, he found himself encountering your casual touches almost daily. you seem more at ease around him, slightly leaning against him when sitting next to him on a bench or playfully poking him when talking to him. and all zoro can do is gather these memories like precious stones and hoard them away in his heart.

but he never reciprocates. he can't. because what if he gets used to you? your soft touches and smiles and laughs and eyes and god, what is he supposed to do if he can't imagine life without you?

he knows.

he knows that you're dangerous-- tempting.

he can see it so clearly, a life by your side, sharing every moment with you. he wants it, he dreams of it, he aches for it with all his heart, but he fears it all the same.

because he already has a dream.

(is he allowed to have two dreams, or is that being too greedy?)

it’s only at night, when he's keeping watch over the merry and staring across the endless silence of the black-blue sea, that he allows himself to question what he feels for you.

he wonders if maybe he loves you instead.

[kivino]

KIVI, YOU SWEET ANGEL YOU.

can you write a price x gn!paramedic!reader where price is on leave, and maybe he gets into a car accident that isn’t too bad so he refuses to go to the hospital, but the cute paramedic keeps insisting on at least checking him out in the ambulance……….. 😋

DOUBLE VISION || JOHN 'BRAVO 0-6' PRICE X PARAMEDIC!GN!READER

Word counter – ~1.9k

Tags/Warnings – mentions of car crash, intoxication, medical examinations, fluff, first meeting, and lack of medical professionalism, lmao.

A/n – PLSS I HOPE YOU LIKE IT POOKIE, IT TOOK ME A HOT MINUTE TO GET TO THE REQUEST I’M SORRY MWAH. also credits for the name go to @mockerycrow as well, they’re a genious and have the biggest brain out of the two of us.

ao3 link for this fic

It’s always a slow process for John - getting used to the slow, civilian ways when he finally gets his leaves approved. When he spends so much time on the field, more often than not he starts to forget about “the other side” of life. Lack of noise, mundane mornings, and silent nights come and with them, the all-encompassing feeling of loneliness starts to set in his gut. John gets reminded about the lack of anyone’s presence in his life. No one is waiting for him back home, and no one will probably be any time soon, with how work takes over most of his free time. And then the captain remembers he’s not getting any younger.

Of course, he had plenty of experience and relationships before, but none of them lasted until now when his hair was already graying and wrinkles were starting to riddle his face here and there. John wasn’t insecure about his age, no, because that would be foolish, really, rather it was the fact that he had no one to share with all the years that were ahead of him.

What John also had a hard time getting used to was driving the busy streets of London with its crazy drivers after months of not getting behind the wheel, which brings him to this moment. Well, it really was on him for trying to get somewhere after happy hour in all the pubs in the area ended, he should’ve probably anticipated some drunk idiot would want to drive back home today. John wasn’t in the right headspace at the moment to fill out all the paperwork and figure out who was in the wrong. His thoughts were far away from here. Probably all the impact from the airbag and the hit.

He’s had it worse before, of course, so some bruises and scratches here and there wasn’t something he couldn’t handle. John felt some pulsing pain in his knee, making it harder to stand upright, and a bit of an ache in his neck from the whiplash, but again, it wasn’t as bad as getting thrown into the wall by an explosion or falling out of a damn helicopter.

So now he has to spend the whole evening working out things with the police and that drunk idiot who bumped into him, freezing his ass off in the rain. Just perfect. John feels a surge of annoyance and exhaustion wash over him, he pinches his brow, letting out an impatient sigh. Cops have arrived on the scene already and started examining the two collided vehicles, after putting around some traffic cones so some other lucky fellas don’t decide to join in on the fun. From his spot on the sidewalk, John can also see the paramedics, who had to get involved because as soon as cops started questioning that drunk guy, he decided to scrunch into himself and show the world all the contents of his stomach. As if it needed to get even more complicated than it already was.

“Excuse me, sir? You’re the other…driver involved in the accident?” John suddenly hears a voice, a bit on the quiet side, which brings him out of his thoughts that involve strangling somebody in a variety of different ways. And oh, his nights instantly become tens, if not thousands of times better when he sees the owner of said voice.

Judging by the identifying markings you were a paramedic, and a very cute one at that, with your dull green uniform and a big jacket on, brows tied together in a concerned expression. Oh, and your eyes, they looked absolutely lovely in the low streetlights. Price is taken aback for the moment, forgetting every word in his vocabulary. He feels his heart starting to beat faster, blood flowing through his veins so fast he’s sure if it wasn’t for the evening darkness he’d most likely resemble a tomato. But then John realizes he must say something because just staring at you would just make him seem like some old creep. And he absolutely didn’t want that.

“Yes, that would be me.” He speaks up after clearing his throat. You nod to that, attentive gaze still on him. John then adds on after a short pause, which took him to let out a deep sigh. “You need me for anything?” Anything. Something. Please.

“Just checking up.” John feels his heart melt at that small smile that grazes your lips, making it obvious you’re satisfied with his answer. “You seem to be holding up better than the other driver.” You joke in an attempt to either lighten up the mood, which John appreciates, or to calm yourself a bit. It didn’t escape him how you seemed a little shaky. It was Friday night, so today’s shift might have been rough on you. Always the Friday nights.

“Well, anyone would hold up better than that bloke.” He jokes with a bit of abandon, a low chuckle escaping his lips, as he starts to overthink himself. John suddenly feels like a dumb teenager, which is never a good sign, especially when there is someone he’s interested in right in front of him. Price feels like his laugh is too rough, stance is too relaxed and everything is just a bit too much when your eyes are on him. Oh, he’s so going to embarrass himself.

“True, but let’s not tell him that.” You give a quiet laugh and John’s worries die down a little. Not completely, but enough to let his eyes get glued to your face. “How are you feeling? Is there any abnormal pain, anything unusual or out of the ordinary?” Oh, so you’re the type to get straight to business, huh? Interesting. Price liked that. “If there’s anything wrong we’ll get you right to the hospital.” Price declined when he got asked about the hospital before by another paramedic because there was no way he was going to spend even more time out of his house because of some minor scratches. But if it meant you’ll be there, he’s calling dibs on the seat beside you in the ambulance truck, dear lord.

“My knee’s complaining a bit, love.” John can see your eyes going as big as two shiny coins when you hear that pet name, which, to be fair, slipped out completely unintentionally. However, by the way you instantly light up in another shy smile, he can tell you don’t really mind it, so his nervousness caused by this… “happy accident”, comes down again. “Some bruises, but I’m not about to hold you up because of those.”

“Oh, well, that’s alright, come with me and I can check you out…” You stutter over your words while talking a bit too quickly and once you understand what you said, an annoyed groan comes out of you. Way to embarrass yourself. “I mean, check your knee out in the ambulance, alright?” You again shoot him a smile. Which probably is in vain, since he’s a patient at the moment, and you’re at work, and that’s very much frowned upon, but what can you do? You don’t meet a man like that everywhere. He looks a bit rough around the edges, but that’s part of the charm.

“I’m sure your hands are already full with that hero of the day over there, I’m good.” What. The fuck. Are you doing. John. The only chance he gets to talk to you and he’s blowing it, for fuck’s sake. He didn’t know why he said that. Maybe not to seem desperate in a very self-sabotaging way, but that’s just. Oh, John, you’re too old for playing some damn games with someone you like.

“You know what? I insist.” Your voice is lower and rougher. And when you top it off with another one of your sweet smiles and a gentle touch on his shoulder? John is a gone man. Turning into a much, a putty, if you will. God, for this perfect smile he was ready to smash and repair every single house appliance and pipe in your house.

“Alright then. Anything for you, love, lead the way.” And you did, with your hand resting softly on his back, helping him forward. John wished you would’ve been bolded with your touch, so he could feel more than just a light graze, but still. It felt good.

And then he finds himself in the back of the ambulance truck, this cramped, tiny space making him hold his breath from being so goddamn nervous in your presence. You told him to take a seat while rummaging through some cabinets and various medical bags for something. Seemingly not finding anything that you needed you spoke up to him again.

“Okay, now let me see your knee, sir.” You mumbled while kneeling in front of him, your eyes concentrated on the man. He didn’t mind you calling him sir at all. John was so used to being called that, but right now it just spread that very pleasant warm feeling inside of him.

“Well, I’m not taking my pants off. Not without a dinner first.” Price chuckled, as he tried rolling up one of his pants legs. And, well, his statement wasn’t that far from the truth. The whole deal with examination was a bit awkward to begin with, so he didn’t want to make it even worse.

“I’ll think about it, big guy.” You chuckle, as you finally start looking at his knee, small, feather-light touches sending sparks over Price’s skin. So, you enjoyed teasing him like that, huh? In combination with that nice, sweet smile? Oh, John is sold. He definitely should you invite somewhere while he still has time on his leave. But before he can open his mouth to make a brave offer you speak up again. “Looks like you have a minor sprain in here, your knee’s all swollen. I’ll apply some elastic bandages, that you’re going to have to wear for some time and redo yourself. But overall you seem to be doing good” Price couldn’t help but feel like that last remark wasn’t about his health.

“Yeah. Yeah. That’s all fine with me, love. Do what you have to.” You only nod in response, spending some time rummaging in the cupboards once again and emerging victorious with a roll of elastic bandages in your hands. You return to your previous position in front of John, and adjust his knee with a firm hand, mumbling a quiet “Hold still, please”. Oh, he’d freeze for centuries if you had asked him to. But he does, and as you wrap the bandage around his knee, which just kept pulsing with hot pain, he couldn’t help but admire you. The trained movements, the concentrated gaze, the warm touch…Maybe he really should act on his thoughts. Maybe it’s his chance. Maybe something can work out and this accidental meeting will become…something more.

Price wanted it to become something more.

His imagination ran rampant, picturing you wearing some nice and fancy, in case you do agree on a date. John totally should not be thinking this when you were right there, finally putting some finishing touches on his knee bandaging, so he forced them out of his mind and cleared his throat. Here goes nothing. But before Price can even utter a single sound you’re already being called over by your colleague. Guess he’ll just have to wait until you’re free of your duties, huh?

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[inkelea]

cherry flavored problems! ✭

pairing: idol!yang jeongin x nonidol!gn!reader

synopsis: it’s hard to be affectionate with your boyfriend in public, as there is always the doubt of being observed.

genre: fluff, some angst. drabble.

warnings: self conscious thoughts, kissing.

word count: 0.5k

a/n: jeongin has been serving so hard this cb i couldn’t keep myself from writing for him. this is basically a copy-pasted scene from nevertheless (pls tell me you’ve watched it), hope you enjoy<3

hiding was something you did very well, however, you didn’t think you would end up needing to hide your relationship with your boyfriend.

dating an idol is… complicated at best. with time, it has become easier to cover the nature of your relationship, the mentality of hiding easily infiltrating your brain. and that’s why you are asking yourself what the hell is yang jeongin doing talking to you in the middle of campus.

he had caught you going down the stairs, which were very unconventionally situated in a very visible place, so why was he here?

“what are you doing? do you want to die from your manager’s wrath?”

he laughs, a dimple appears on his cheek and his hand runs through his hair. you can’t help but smile too. the lollipop on his other hand is hanging right to his leg, which makes you afraid that it’s going to stain the surely very expensive jeans your boyfriend is wearing.

“what flavor is that?”

his eyes lock with yours, not caring slightly about the possibility of paparazzis being around. after licking the lollipop one more time, his hand rests on the railing behind you. before you know it his lips are on yours and you can feel the candy flavor on them. is it cherry or strawberry? without giving yourself much more time to discover it, you push him back by his chest and turn completely to the other side, hand covering your mouth.

when you turn again, he is already looking at you, a small smile on and head getting closer to you.

“did you get the flavor?”

his thumb goes over your lower lip, where sugar from the candy was left. feeling suddenly shy, you look down, feeling too embarrassed for no reason.

doubs cloud your mind and anxiety takes over your body. at the end of the day, you are only an university student. he could have chosen anyone he wanted, any other idol who had their fans at their feet from how pretty they look on stage. you are just a random person, and he is the boy named maknae on top. why was he even risking it all for you?

“anyone can see us innie.”

your voice is laced with sadness, regret even. he sighs and places his hand on your shoulder, shaking it slowly.

“i don’t care, i just want to be able to kiss you in public without feeling the guilt eating me up.”

swallowing down all your second thoughts, you hug him. his body is tense for a few seconds until you start playing with his hair, making him hum calmly.

smiling playfully, he kisses you once again. when you identify the cherry flavor in his lips, you smile into the kiss. his hand travels from your jaw to your neck, making circles on the surface. its weird, but honestly comforting. with your hand holding his arm, he feels at ease, the most carefree he has been in a very long time.

“fuck dating rumours.”

you laugh and leave a kiss on his hand. “fuck dating rumours indeed.”

@mochamvgz

© inkelea on tumblr | don't copy, repost or plagiarize my work.

[devils-dares]

Man's World

summary: a tight championship race, a relationship situationship enemies with benefits that can't take place anywhere but behind the scenes, two drivers pitted against one another. who will prevail?

pairing: f1 driver x f1 driver!fem!reader (written with lewis hamilton in mind, but contains no identifying traits for any driver)

warnings: smut MDNI, verbal fights, driving, strong language, toxic masculinity, women being talked about negatively (in a man's world), being pathetic

wordcount: 5005

a/n: i have been working on this since august. this fic has gone through many phases of life with me, and i have finally finished it. i truly hope you enjoy.

-----

Good God, what had you gotten yourself into? It wasn’t supposed to be anything, if anything you two were bitter rivals to the death. Saying his name was like licking a battery, leaving a coppery acidic taste in your mouth.

So why did you wake in his bed? He, his body shining in the early morning sun, was making a plate from what you imagined was room service breakfast. His sheets, they smell like him, and the memories from last night and nights past come flooding into your head again.

He’s laying it on thick, smiling at you when he sees you sitting up in bed.

“You okay?” He says, the sweetest voice spilling from his lips. You hum, the ache between your thighs and the soreness in your hips delectably painful. He hands you a plate.

Your head spins from the irony of it all. Enemies to lovers, you’d said the night before as a joke. And what did he say in response?

“Lovers don’t fuck each other like this.”

It was true, the bruises on your body spoke wretched stories when they darkened over days, but sung beautifully while you moaned out his name underneath him as he pressed on them. He fucked as hard as he fought on track, the two of you trading first and second place back and forth every race. It’d become a game, riling each other up all week long just to end up on the podium next to each other and the same bed later on. It was a joke around the paddock that the two of you had tension and needed to “sort it out”.

All things had to end eventually, right? It bothered you when his alleged girlfriend was at Silverstone. He’d just spent the night prior making sure you couldn’t talk while his head was between your legs and now Thursday brings rumors of him walking the paddock with a lady friend.

She was beautiful, and that pissed you off.

He came to your room Sunday night after the race, a knock you two have come to create inadvertently. You didn’t bother to open the door, instead opting to lean against it.

“Open the door,” he said, “someone could see. Open the fucking door.” He’s agitated, good, you think. He led the race by a few seconds, but his cockiness came through like always, leading to an ill-timed spin and you taking the win from him. You’re winning the championship by just over ten points, and he’s had a slew of what could be considered amazing races, but losses in his book because he’s a place behind you. He knocks and knocks until you’re sure his fingers go raw, and you wipe a stray tear before opening the door to toxicity personified. He pushes past you to get in and slams the door shut. You sigh and rub your forehead before he pushes you up against the door.

“When I say open the door, open the fucking door, got it?”

“I’m not going to listen to you.” You challenge him, and he puffs his chest out, showing off just how much bigger he is than you.

“You’ve already tried being a brat, remember what that got you?” A night full of edging and no release, that’s exactly what that got you. Your body shudders at the memory.

“Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought.” He laughs.

“Fuck you!” You try to shove him but he barely moves an inch, instead grabbing your wrists and pushing them back against the door.

“What’s got you in such a mood? Back to back races left you a little sex-starved?” He tuts. “I thought I taught you better than that.”

“Who was that girl you were walking around with?” You ask, tears brimming at your waterline in anger.

“You’re jealous! Do you know how pathetic that is? What gives you a right to know, being my whore in private?” Your face turns away from his, but he pulls your hands up to hold with one of his, and he turns your chin towards him with his free hand. He sees how red you are, face burning with embarrassment.

“She’s an obligation. Management, you know.”

“So you’re not-”

“No. I wouldn’t be here if I was. She’s in the room across the hall from me.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? You don’t own me, you shouldn’t be obligated to know who she is.”

“Yet you told me.” He drops his hands.

“You know, if I’m not going to get what I want from you tonight, maybe I should go to her. She seemed very eager to get to know me when we got together for this.”

“Wait, no,” you say, sighing at the words you’re about to say, “just stay here with me, you’ll get what you want.” You’re embarrassed, face turning red. He smiles, and the bared teeth spell out danger for you.

“That’s what I wanted to hear from you.”

He leaves at two in the morning. You know because you lay awake all night, listening to him breathe. The ache between your legs was no longer pleasant or welcome, and you were tired of giving in to him. He gathers his clothes, does a half-assed job at pulling the covers back over your body, and doesn’t even bother to close the door quietly, instead opting to come near to slamming it.

You wish he could just break your heart, leave you to sulking by yourself, but he seems to have that same, sick attachment that you have to him. He’s bad for you, and the both of you would be sick in the head if you had any fantasy of this becoming a real thing. He’s not worried about losing his job if this gets discovered, his name is more than enough to keep the lights on and the paychecks running. You, on the other hand, were not well liked throughout the paddock apart from the drivers. You were a controversial topic, people either hated you or were your fiercest defenders.

You turn over and check the clock, 2:46, it reads. You sigh, squeezing a pillow over your head. This needs to end, for both the betterment of you and him.

—--

That ideal comes crashing down in Qatar, literally. The two of you collide, taking each other out of the race. It was his fault entirely, and that was reflected with the addition of two penalty points to his super license. Unfortunately, the two of you had to enter the media pen at the same time, and the daggers of death he sent your way were not easy to miss.

You were wound up, he hadn’t come into your room since Zandvoort when he’d beaten you by quite a close margin, just a touch over half a second. He hadn’t even spared you a word, driver’s meetings be damned. You were left to hang high and dry.

It wasn’t for lack of trying, though. Almost every stop you had, and weekends in between, you spent time at the clubs, attracting men to bring back to your place, but none of them scratched the itch that he left. You barely even finished with half of them. He was obnoxious, insufferable, yet you found yourself in the bathroom of another hotel room fixing up your hair to go knock on his door.

You looked at yourself. You were attractive, sexy, but it made you feel dirty that you dressed up all for him. Suddenly, the lace in your lingerie felt itchy, cutting into your skin. The silk felt like it was actively pilling against you, and the tendrils of your hair wouldn’t stop sticking to the lipstick that just so happened to be his favorite shade on you.

You had to get your independence back from a man who knew he had it and just didn’t care. You didn’t go.

That didn’t stop you from opening the door when he knocked a few minutes later, though. He smiled when he saw your attire, you didn’t bother to cover up. At least you didn’t fall into the trap of knocking on his door, small victories.

He stayed the night this time, just like the first few times. He actually cared back then, and it feels like that today, with his hand in your hair holding your head to his chest. You woke to his soft breathing, he’s still asleep, and that gives you the perfect opportunity to leave him like he left you.

You throw all of your clothes in your suitcase haphazardly, and drag out the luggage to the hallway to zip it up, in fear that he might wake and try to talk or squeeze another round out of you.

You two ran into each other a weekend later at an event in Monaco.

“You left.” He says.

“What did you say?”

“You left a week ago in Qatar. You weren’t there when I woke up.”

“Did you expect me to be?”

“Considering how-”

“If that sentence ends in some grade school jab against me I’m going to hurt you. You just lost a good thing.” He put his hands up in mock defeat.

“I didn’t know how sensitive you were going to be about this whole thing.”

“And if you knew?”

“I would’ve found someone else to fuck.”

—--

The Las Vegas Grand Prix, if you could’ve skipped it you would’ve. Inaugural grand prix in Sin City, your hands were already shaking on the way over here. He must’ve gotten the idea after Qatar, because absolutely no effort was given in him talking to you other than what was necessary, which seemed like a lot, given every single interview question was framed towards yours and his friendship. Both of you answered the same, there was no friendship beyond what was required in a purely professional setting, and the two of you were excited to put the championship race behind you once one of you was crowned.

Mathematically, there were about six drivers still in the championship race, the thorn in your sides that kept the two of you from being in a truly isolated battle, but realistically it’d come down to the two of you. That idea was currently being drilled into you from your team. Keep a clean race and good pace. Every single scenario was being run through during this meeting, and you only participated when necessary, which wasn’t smart, considering this would be your first time racing this track. You couldn’t help it, your mind was wrapped up in a twisted way, your situationship taking over your mind like a sick grade school crush.

I wonder if I’m on his mind as much as he is on mine. Does he think about me often? Does he think about what happened? About why I left the way I did in Qatar?

Your name was being called and your teammate knocked your leg with his knee. You looked at him, a thankful look in your eyes as you answered a question on strategy.

The start of this race weekend sucked. Practice 1, you’d picked up a puncture from an extra bit of carbon fiber on the track. Practice 2 brought mechanical failures, components overheating from the temperature of the track. Your confidence was shot seeing him at the top of the leaderboard in the sessions leading up to qualifying. And when qualifying came, your bad luck stuck around. You felt a power cut in your last flying lap of Q3, resulting in a measly P6 where your teammate qualified P2 and he got pole position.

With the team breaking curfew to put you in a driveable car for the next day, you were shaken up to say the least. You were in the car, the team doing their last minute checks and holding tire blankets and coolers to the car. The track was lit up beautifully in an elegance that only the night could hold.

Five cars in front of you. Five to pass and then hold the position. That’s all you had to do to secure a good lead into the final race. The clock clicked into position, the track cleared. You took the formation lap to get locked in, butterflies fluttering in your chest when the red lights started stacking.

The timing was perfect. You had an amazing start, picking off two positions into turn one. The start was great, but not much else was. You gained another position about halfway through the race, and a botched pit from another team allowed you to gain second up until an aggressive move from another driver caused damage and relegated you to P3.

But everything about his race was aces. Perfect pit, minimal tyre degradation, he was flying. You would’ve taken him out yourself, he was pissing you off that much. Yet again, you felt a power cut in the straight, and that caused you to lose fastest lap to him. Luckily your teammate was in a position to steal it back, but that was one less point for you in a championship battle for the ages.

You stood on the podium next to him, proud bastard, you thought. He walked past you, a glint in his eyes that was unmistakably lust, but could’ve only been seen as a rivalry spark by anyone else. He took his spot on the podium, and when it came time to spray, he was sure to aim only for you, seemingly rubbing in his victory.

He didn’t knock that night, or the night after that. You waited up for him, willing to bring him inside, but he never came. You couldn’t bring yourself to knock on his door either, saving yourself from the embarrassment of him not answering. You didn’t go clubbing, you couldn’t. If you saw him out with another woman, having the time of his life… you shook your head. It wasn’t worthwhile to think of him like that.

You flew home. Wasting tears in Vegas would do nothing to prepare you for the last race. The only one that really mattered, the championship decider.

You put in the hours at the facility, spending nights there because you didn’t want to go home. You’d sleep in your office, the only place he hadn’t tarnished with his presence. The team was concerned about you, but they still had two cars and two drivers to get ready for the finale.

I wonder if I’m on his mind as much as he is on mine.

If you had to go to one more team related event, you were going to cry. You were squeezed into formal wear and airbrushed to the gods the days leading up to Abu Dhabi. You shook hands with sponsors and promised results over the weekend. You were fucking exhausted.

It didn’t help that he looked amazing every time you saw him, which was often considering you stayed at the same hotel, and he was everywhere you were. Whether you were arriving and he was already sat in the breakfast lounge, or you were with a friend and his gaze lingered just a bit too long on your smiling figure, he was fucking everywhere.

Finally, a moment of reprieve, you thought as you entered the hotel. You were able to sneak past the fans, and took your hood off as soon as you entered, the lobby serene in the middle of the night.

You punched the button to call the elevator, and once you got in you pressed the button for the rooftop terrace, leaning against the back wall. Just before the doors closed, however, a hand jutted between the doors. A few people darted in from different teams, immediately making the cart feel small, and someone came to stand next to you, their body pressed up against the side of yours, pushing you against the wall. You knew that cologne, and dared to peek up.

It was him.

You cursed him in every language you knew. He stayed pressed up against you like that even as staff began to filter out. Soon enough, it was just the two of you, and he seemed like he was heading to the roof with you. As if every holy body hated you at that moment, there was no one else on the terrace when you two got there. You rushed to the edge, taking in a breath with your arms on the railing.

“Been a while since it was just the two of us, hasn’t it?” The man had to be immune to taking hints. You didn’t answer.

“Are you just planning on ignoring me for as long as possible?” Ignored again.

“I just hope you’re doing okay, y’know.”

“Don’t do that thing where you pretend to care just to get into my pants, it’s not going to work.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” You turned around to face him, a look of disbelief on your face.

“I swear.” He says. You don’t answer.

“What we were doing, it was fun, it is fun, but I’m not losing you over it.”

“Look who’s ready to be the bigger person,” you say sarcastically, “we weren’t friends, you’re not losing anything.” He rubs his forehead.

“Don’t you get tired of all of this?”

“I tire of you.”

“Ouch.” Silence falls on the conversation.

“We’re rivals,” you say after a bit, “we were never meant to be close.”

“So it’s like that.”

“It always was.” The two of you lock eyes, both unwilling to break first. You’ve effectively shut down the conversation, but your heart still aches to hear his voice, his hands on your skin, anything.

“For your sake, I hope you win on Sunday.” He starts to walk away, towards the elevators.

“Why the sudden attitude change?” You blurt out.

“Maybe I realized I lost a good thing.” He turns back to you as he says it.

“You…” You try to start. He steps closer to you, looking at your hands as if he was contemplating holding them. He huffs, deciding on grabbing them and holding them close to his chest.

“You are far more important to me than you realize.” And just like that, he’s got you trapped again. He leans down, letting go of one hand to cup your chin, tilting your head up to kiss you. You curse yourself for feeling a connection to him, even still. HIs hands fall to your hips, squeezing them.

“We shouldn’t… too out in the open up here.” You say.

“My room?”

“We have practice tomorrow.”

“Okay. Whatever you say.” He starts to turn away.

“Just a little bit of time together won’t hurt, right?” You say. He smiles at you.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” He takes your hand, leading you back to the elevator, clicking his floor number.

As it turns out, spending a night with your ex-enemy with benefits does hurt. Your phone was buzzing off the nightstand with your manager asking you where you were. You groaned, rubbing your eyes as you reached over.

“Fuck!” You yell, waking him up with your voice.

“What? What is it?”

“I’m going to be massively late, I have to go.” You scramble to find your clothes, scattered across the floor.

“I’m not going for another hour and a half, you can’t be that late.”

“I also can’t be seen with you, do you know how bad that would be for both of our reputations? If someone were to catch me leaving your room and going back to mine… I knew this was a bad idea!”

“Don’t overreact, we’ll figure this out.”

“There is no figuring this out, I’m going to get caught on the way to my room in my clothes from the night prior, which, may I remind you, I was photographed in. That is going to ruin me publically, who, may I remind you again, already hate me.”

“I’m sorry.” He says.

You get dressed quickly and sneak out, getting to your room with almost no eyes on you.

—--

Friday brings a better showing for you and your team than Las Vegas did, topping both free practices by two-tenths and one-tenth respectively. Everyone was happy about your performance, and you were excited to see yourself on the top of the timing sheets again.

Saturday brought the same results, topping another free practice. It was a bit touch-and-go at qualifying, having to rush across the line with only a few seconds remaining to get your last flying lap, but that was just enough time to push you over him.

Sunday. The day you were simultaneously dreading and looking forward to. Between the two of you, winner takes all.

You sat in your car in the pole box. You glance to the side and catch a glimpse of him, he’s nodding his head to something the mechanics are saying. You sigh. Your mechanics float around your car, fiddling around for anything last second. The coolers blow on you as well as the car, the temperature of Abu Dhabi was nothing to trifle with.

You take a deep breath, feeling secure and quiet in your helmet. You play out the track in your mind, feeling every twist and turn in your body before you drive. Your eyes are closed, but your mind is far from relaxed.

During the formation lap, you become acutely aware of just how much is riding on this race. Not only your reputation, but your opportunities for the next season, and just how much power you can have with negotiations as it was your contract year. You shake your head. No time to think about that if you haven’t even accomplished the first step, winning this race.

You roll into your box, watching in your side mirror as the last of the drivers do so and then your eyes flick up to watch the lights. All you had to do was get the start.

Your timing couldn’t have been better. You were gone by the time you reached the first corner. He’d gotten a good start, but nothing compared to yours. All you had to do was manage the race.

The two of you quickly realized you were both pulling away from the competition, and he had much more grip in the corners, cutting at your lead. Soon enough, you were called in to box.

Time ticked away as you rolled into your pit box. The mechanics lifted the car, but one of the tyres wouldn’t come loose. Your internal timer was screaming at you. You see him enter the box and leave before you get all tyres on, and by the time you exit, he’s got a second and a half on you. You curse out your engineer after learning the pitstop took six seconds.

The race was on, and with him just out of DRS, you had a lot of time to make up. The race was slipping out of your grasp, and you thought of every wrong decision that put you in this position. Did you not slim down enough? Was there an extra gram or two of something on the car? You huff, shaking your head clear of the thoughts. There was no time to think like that, not when there was a slim chance you could still win.

And then it happened.

The screens on the side of the track blinked the letters that turned out to be your saving grace: FCY followed by SC. The limiter flashes on the screen of your steering wheel and suddenly you’re back in the race, seeing his rear end grow closer and closer until you’re right up against him. Finally, after a few laps, your engineer lets you know that the safety car is coming in.

“Be ready,” he warns, “you know he could take off at any point.” And so he does. The exit of turn 16, onto the start straight.

You had him, you didn’t let him slip away, not even for a second. It was close with him for a while, two laps to be exact, before your slipstream and DRS combo took him. Your engineer cheers you on as calmly as he can, his even voice showering you in praise. You breathe through the turns, knowing only a few laps remain between you and this championship. Everything rides on this, everything. Win this last race and your name will be in the history books forever.

And that’s exactly what you did, crossing the finish line with those fireworks going off in the background, nothing could take this from you. You did your cooldown lap, pulling back up to the finish line to do your celebratory donuts, laughing and hollering on the radio with your team. You couldn’t even be bothered that he was there with you, right next to you. You pull into the pitlane, your heart racing as your engineer offers the news that you are not, in fact, the target of any penalties. You sit in your car after pulling up to first place, flipping your visor up and crying, soaking up every emotion possible in this moment. You feel pats and slaps on your helmet, other drivers congratulating you on the win, on the championship. You finally find it in you to leave your car, climbing out slowly and soaking it in, that your name will forever be in the history books. You drop your steering wheel in your car and turn around-

He’s standing right there, his shoulders droop a little more than usual but he stands there, waiting for you. He approaches you slowly, leaving his helmet on.

“Congratulations, you drove well.” He says softly. Interestingly enough, your heart breaks a little for him. You pull him into a half hug.

“Scared me for a minute there, thought I’d lose to you again this year after that pit stop.”

“You underestimate your drive. There’s nothing I could do to stop you in those last laps. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful set of last laps to close out.” Your heart races at his words, his praise eliciting a reaction that feels unlike anything you’d ever felt with him. He flicks your visor down as he walks away, getting a small giggle out of you.

Finally, you get to your team. They’re practically bursting over the barricades to congratulate you, chanting your name. You laugh, running up to them, allowing yourself to be bombarded with their congratulatory cheers.

“Go get that damn trophy for us.”

The trophy ceremony was honestly a blur, literally and figuratively. You’re pretty sure you blacked out during it, and tears filled your eyes and rolled down your cheeks. You don’t even remember the party afterwards, the sprays of champagne, the club overflowing with the team’s staff, your teammate getting hammered after helping to win the constructor’s championship as well.

You didn’t remember much until the next morning.

You woke up groaning in the hotel room, your phone buzzing itself off the nightstand. You grabbed your head, this hangover was not going to let you go gently. You snatched your phone off the floor, genuinely surprised that you remembered to plug it in last night.

“Hello?” You answer, your voice hoarse from whooping and cheering all through last night.

“Please tell me you didn’t fuck him, because if you did I’m gonna bury your body where no one will find you.” It’s your publicist, sounding exasperated and also hungover.

“What?”

“Did you fuck him?”

“Fuck who?”

“Friday morning, somebody has a photo of you stumbling out of his room at the goddamn crack of dawn in your dress from the night before.”

“Oh my god.”

“So I’m gonna take that as a yes-” You drop your phone, unwilling to hear the rest as you can just predict how much of a PR nightmare this will be.

“Who knows?”

“It’s a pretty grainy photo, honestly, and it’s posted by one of those deuxmoi wannabe F1 twitter pages… but-”

“But what?”

“If you edit it to make it a little clearer, it’s pretty fucking obvious. It’s circulating pretty fast, but we can put out a statement if it’s not true. So, did you?”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“How many times?” You sigh, rubbing your forehead.

“I don’t know. A lot.” It’s her turn to sigh.

“I’m too hungover to deal with this, but I’ll see what I can do. It… it won’t be a lot, more likely than not we’ll be planning damage control. And of course this comes out the morning after you win the championship, you need to pick your men better.” She hangs up with a click.

You know you shouldn’t, but of course you begin to scroll through social media, seeing everything that’s under your name. Forget the championship, this is the biggest piece of news this sport has seen in a while. And of course nobody’s condemning him, why would they? He’s got a paycheck the size of his goddamn ego and a fanbase that spans continents. You scream into a pillow, throwing your phone across the hotel room. Your phone buzzes on the floor again, and you’re the most sure you’ve ever been that if you dare to check, it’ll be your team principal. He wouldn’t reach out, it’s not his reputation that’s being destroyed. No, he’s being paraded around for hitting that.

Angry tears stream down your cheeks. How could you be so fucking stupid? Of course you were bound to get caught, but they couldn’t let your championship sit undisturbed for one day? The stupid trophy sits on the countertop by the bar, practically taunting you with its presence. The hunk of metal changes from an achievement to an accusation before your eyes. That you slept your way to the top, that he let you have it, that you needed a man to get you to where you are. It makes you sick, and that’s probably why you find yourself hugging the toilet now. It’s not fair, it’s never been fair…

And it will never be fair.

[sundrop-writes]

From Your Lips

Jennifer Jareau x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary:

After JJ is attacked by dogs on the Hankle farm, everyone else is busy worrying about Reid’s missing status, but you take the time to check on JJ and try your best to calm her flustered mind.

Jennifer Jareau x Gender Neutral Reader. Established Relationship. Smut, Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 2, Episode 15.

Word Count: 3,000

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link

THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.

Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.

Warnings: this is set during Season 2, Episode 15 (“Revelations”); warnings for themes/plot points from the canon episode - rabid dogs, mentions of JJ being attacked by dogs, mentions of dogs eating/killing a woman (a random woman who is not named here), animal death - mentions of JJ having to shoot the dogs (killing them) in self defence, gun violence, mentions of Reid being kidnapped (no details of that are discussed in this fic), religious themes (in this fic, religious motifs are used to encourage sexual behaviour - spoken about as though God made us to have sex with each other, not to discourage it as the Christian religion does); symptoms of shock/PTSD - JJ waves a gun in the reader’s face because she’s scared; general emotional angst, mentions of JJ blaming herself for Reid being kidnapped; mentions of blood (from JJ’s injuries); the reader is completely gender neutral - there are no identifying pronouns used for the reader (other than the ‘you’ I generally use for fics) and the reader’s genitals are not described in any specific way; use of Y/N, mentions of a pre-established sexual relationship between JJ and the reader - it could be a friends with benefits situation, it could be secret lovers, it’s never quite specified; JJ is more submissive and the reader is more dominant, but there is no outright dom/sub relationship; the reader calls JJ 'Jay’, 'sweet girl’, 'sweets’, and 'good girl’; using sex to distract from one’s emotional problems; (technically) semi-public sex because they’re in the bathroom where anyone could walk in on them (but they’re not caught by anyone); kissing/heated making-out; the reader fingers JJ; neck biting/marking (JJ receiving); hair-pulling(JJ receiving); praise kink; clothed/mostly clothed sex; I believe that’s everything.

A/N: This was primarily inspired by the picture of JJ on the right. I saw it and I was like 'damn she fine’ but I knew it was from Revelations so I was like 'damn she fine but I know she’s havin a real bad time rn’ - so I did the thing I do best: smut based off emotional trauma. This is basically the scene where Emily comes to talk to her in the bathroom, but replacing Emily with a reader character and then they fuck. Also the title comes from the phrase 'from your lips to God’s ears’ because religious imagery. I had so much fun with this lmao. I hope you enjoy it!

...

You couldn’t help but to feel bad for JJ. 

You knew that everyone was concerned about Reid - rightfully so. Worried about where he was, if he was alive or not. But you were the type of person who preferred to focus on the things you could control - the things right in front of you. JJ was someone you had known for long enough that you knew how to comfort her, and you pushed the ‘what-ifs’ about Reid to the back of your mind in favor of focusing on her. 

You knew that she was intensely shaken up by the entire situation. Not only the fact that she had been nearly mauled by a couple of dogs, pieces of her skin torn up and marred. But it was the fact that the team knew for certain that those same dogs had ripped a woman apart only a few days ago. You knew that JJ hated being forced to shoot those dogs. She was someone with a tender heart. You knew that all of this was affecting her. 

On top of all that, she was likely blaming herself for Reid being put in danger, even though there was nothing she could have done to save him. 

While everyone was gathered in the main room, looking through Hankle’s things for any hint as to where he had taken Reid, you moved toward the back of the house, knowing that JJ had gone to the bathroom to ‘freshen up’. You knew her well enough to easily pick up that it was code for her needing a moment to escape from everyone else in some attempt to calm down. 

The door to the bathroom was open just a crack, so you took a peek, not wanting to startle her by knocking. 

You could see her hunched over the sink, stress knit through her muscles as she gripped the sides of the porcelain. You felt a twinge of guilt flow through you as the thought occurred to you - even in such a state of duress, she was so beautiful. Painted in agony or pleasure, she was gorgeous.

She looked almost angelic like this, and you hated to believe that torture looked good on someone like her. (Perhaps it was the fact that you had seen her ‘tortured’ before - sweaty and begging, half on the brink of madness as she pleaded to get your tongue between her thighs once again.) 

You found your eyes admiring the sliver of skin that peeked out between her white button up and the low waist of her simple black dress pants. You found yourself wanting to actually smack yourself as a form of scolding when you couldn’t help but to admire the gentle dip of her waist and the curve of her ass. 

You felt sinful for thinking such carnal thoughts, even when she was so wrought with stress, clearly so wrecked from the night’s events. 

Perhaps it was the fact that you had come so close to losing her, and now that urge to possess her bubbled closer to the surface than ever. But you pushed it down as you gently nudged open the bathroom door. 

When the creak of the hinges echoed through the room, you certainly did not expect to be greeted with a gun in your face. 

JJ had whipped around much faster than you expected, and pointed her Bureau issued glock right at you. Clearly, she expected you to be a threat. The look in her eyes was positively wild - like a frightened animal being cornered by a fierce predator. Which of course, was something that had happened to her only a few hours before. 

“JJ.” You called out her name, keeping your voice firm, trying to ground her in this reality. 

Her eyes continued darting around, glancing into the hallway behind you as though she was expecting another rabid dog to suddenly appear there. 

“JJ, it’s just me.” You told her, reaching up and gently easing the gun down. 

She was still incredibly tense, so you reached up with your other hand and massaged along the inner part of her wrist with two fingers, getting her muscles to relax enough that she let go of the gun, dropping it into your hand. You made sure the safety was turned on before you placed the gun on the closed toilet lid. Then you turned and closed the bathroom door behind you, sealing the two of you into a quiet bubble to hopefully give her time to calm down. 

JJ let out a harsh breath - a sound that was mostly a sob strangled inside of her chest. She ran her hands through her already wild hair, tears gathering in her eyes once again. She turned to face the wall and you instinctively reached out, running your hands gently across her shoulders. 

One of your hands stayed as a comforting grip on her upper arm and the other rubbed an open palm up and down her back. You hoped you could soothe her in some way. You truly hated how she quivered under your touch, how you could feel those sobs trapped inside of her lungs; the echoes of cries she refused to release because she felt that she needed to put up a strong front. 

“It’s so stupid.” JJ complained. 

Her voice was wet with the unreleased tears as she held her head in her hands, still facing away from you. Her long blonde hair easily created a curtain around her face so that couldn’t properly see her. 

“I grew up with dogs! I had dogs! I love dogs, I would never-” 

“It’s not your fault, Jay.” You pressed, using your affectionate nickname for her. “When people train animals to attack like that, there’s nothing you can do.” You leaned in, gently resting your cheek on her shoulder, assuring her that you were there before you whispered the next words. “You had to shoot them.” 

JJ let out a harsh whimper, clearly struggling even more now with holding back her sobs. You wanted to tell her that it would be okay to cry, but you knew that it would be useless. She was raised as the strong brick wall of a daughter in her family, and she was not used to showing weakness - especially not used to crying. 

“I should have stayed with Spencer.” She announced quietly. “I shouldn’t have let him go off without backup. I should have-” 

“Jay, that’s not your fault either.” You told her firmly, cutting off whatever self blaming rant she was about to go on. 

She muddled in a bitter silence, her arms shaking lightly as she rocked her head back and forth - shaking her head in the negative in response to what you had said. 

She had to believe it was her fault. If Spencer didn’t come back from this, her self blame would only be worse. 

“JJ, look at me.” You demanded gently. She didn’t move, and you reached over and put a hand on her wrist, attempting to pull her hands away from her face. “JJ, please look at me.” 

When your voice warbled out the plea, she finally wavered to your touch, and let you turn her around to face you. You caught a glimpse of the bright red stains soaked into the sleeve of her shirt, splattered up across her front, and you tried to ignore the sickly curl in your gut because of it. 

You had the urge to lift her bandaged forearm up and lay a few kisses on it, like you would have kissed a child’s scraped knee - more so for the emotional comfort than any possible health benefits. But you knew that would have been more for you than for her. 

So instead, you reached out, brushing past that tangled curtain of blonde to gently cup her face with both your hands. You handled her with an intensely delicate touch as you tilted her gaze up from the ground. 

A few tears had managed to escape, and you brushed them away with your thumbs. JJ sniffled quietly, sounding quite small and defeated as she did so. For the first time that night, she felt a slight calm wash over her as the comfort of your presence truly settled in. 

She was eternally grateful to have you there with her. She reached up and gripped onto your wrists, keeping you anchored there. She skimmed her thumbs along the top of your hands, enjoying the smooth feeling of your skin as you stared at her broken face - a tearful angel that made your heart ache for her. 

You were called by the higher purpose to worship that angel - to turn her pain into pleasure.

Before you could stop yourself, you found yourself drifting toward her, leaning in and planting your lips on hers. It certainly wasn’t the first time you had kissed JJ, but it most definitely wasn’t the most opportune. 

She easily returned the kiss, pressing her mouth into yours with a soft neediness. It was when she let out a small moan, the sound vibrating against your lips that you felt that sting of guilty panging at you once again. The fact that lustful heat and your grief for her were colliding so heavily inside of you made you feel like just as much of a monster as the man who had taken Reid and sicked dogs on her. 

You pulled away from the kiss sharply, putting only an inch of distance between the two of you, not letting go of her cheeks. She didn’t let go of the hold she had on your wrists either - you wanted to keep her assured of your presence because she did need the comfort during this hard time. 

“I’m sorry-” You gasped out an apology for kissing her so inappropriately, but JJ, ever the woman to know exactly what she wanted, didn’t let you finish. 

“Don’t apologize.” She ordered sharply. “I need you.” 

She kept her eyes closed, her brows tight with anguish as you gently laid your forehead against hers. 

You couldn’t help but to question it. 

“Now, Jay?” You asked quietly. “Right now?” 

“I need to forget.” She whispered, her words so timid that her breath barely ghosted your lips, even with you so close to her. 

Your heart ached at her tone, and when you didn’t reply or didn’t move to kiss her again, she continued. 

“Every time I close my eyes, I just see… I just see those eyes glowing in the dark. I just hear growling.” She admitted, a few more tears escaping that you rushed to thumb away. “I need to forget it. Please, help me forget.” 

“Anything for you, sweets.” You whispered, using another affectionate nickname for her. 

You leaned in for another kiss, firmer this time. 

You let your instincts take over then - all the lust you had been pushing down rushing to the surface and servicing you well. If she needed to forget, then you would certainly make her. You would make her feel so good that all she would be able to focus on would be the hot blood thrumming through her ears. The medicine that God intended. 

You pushed her up against the edge of the sink, keeping one hand on the side of her face and moving the other to her hip. You skimmed your fingers along that tempting strip of skin right above the waistband of her low-rise pants, causing her to shiver at the teasing touch touch. 

In a moment, your forceful dominance, the way you handled her easily had her moaning into your mouth again, much louder this time. You moved the hand on her cheek around to comb your fingers through her hair. You dug your knuckles in, setting a powerful grip at the base of her skull that held her exactly where you wanted her. It was a tender pain that had her gasping for you as you shoved your tongue past her lips, now on a very determined mission to fuck every last dreadful thought out of her head. 

Your fingertips continued to dance along the waistband of her pants, gently teasing her skin in a great contrast to the forceful movement of your lips. Every single movement was cleverly calculated to make her mind numb. Right down to the way you tugged at her hair and yanked on her bottom lip with your teeth as you pulled away from the kiss, leaving her panting wildly. 

Her eyes were closed much more gently this time, her eyelids fluttering lightly, and you hoped that you had already reduced those nightmarish visions to dust as she relaxed into your touch, buttery under your fingers as always. 

“Thank you,” JJ breathed out, her voice sweet as ever as you bit a path down her neck. You wanted to leave noticeable marks that would stand out among the scratches and bumps she had acquired that night. 

You truly didn’t care if anyone else on the team spotted one of those marks and knew what it was. You were paying tribute to her, leaving your own kind of thank you on her neck as you sucked the soft skin between your teeth. Your fingers finally found the button of her pants and easily popped it open blind, pulling the zipper down in a moment. Without a second of hesitation, you shoved your fingers past the barrier of her simple cotton underwear. 

With one last sharp bite, you moved your head back up from the crevice of her neck then, pressing your forehead against hers once again. You kept that tight grip on the back of her hair, a small hinge of pain that grounded her, that assured her you were there. 

Your fingers easily found her clit, and you made the bold choice to begin rubbing her without wetting your fingers first. You knew that it would be a pleasurable sting that would certainly push any other thoughts from her mind. 

“Oh, fuck, Y/N-” 

JJ gasped, arching her hips away from the edge of the sink to meet your touch, her lips falling open beautifully and her eyes still so gently fallen shut. She looked so fucking angelic like this. 

More tears kissed her lashes as you pressed harder on her clit, moving your fingers in hard, slow circles. You could assure yourself that these were tears from pleasure, not from anguish or pain. You had rewritten the stony hurt inside her muscles, rethreading the cords tight with the need for an orgasm where they were previously pulled tight with stress. 

“Please!” She begged so beautifully when she wanted to. 

It felt like its own unique reward to know that you were one of the only people that all powerful Jennifer Jareau ever begged to. 

You felt her becoming wetter around your fingers, flooding her underwear in response to your simple touches, and there was only one thing you wanted before you would make her cum. 

“Look at me.” You told her, the words quiet on your lips but so utterly full of confident power. 

JJ whimpered in response, not yet opening her eyes, and you stopped the movement of your hand altogether. She let out a very displeased sound and you began slowly pulling back, threatening to leave her hanging (which was a very empty threat in this context - not that she had to know that). It was something that immediately caused her eyes to shoot open as she reached out and grabbed your wrist, holding you in place. She canted her hips up, desperately trying to get your touch back where she needed you most. 

“Please,” She pleaded again, all hot breath and desperation - all for you. 

Staring into those blue eyes, lit with a desperate blaze of lust as she panted out humid breaths across your chin, you were only reminded of the fact that everything you did was for her. Everything in your life was a worship in her name, no act too small to dedicate to such a perfect Goddess. 

“Good girl.” 

You praised her, knowing it was exactly what she needed as you angled your fingers back between her wet folds. You gathered up that wetness, slicking up your fingers before you placed your determined touch right on her throbbing clit. This time, rather than being slow and calculated, you were quick and determined. You made speedy movements that you knew would draw her to the quick finish that would perfectly empty her mind. 

“Always so good for me, Jay.” 

“Thank you, oh! Oh, fuck!” 

She started singing your praises in her own way as your touches sped up, the sound of her wetness just barely muffled by the fabric of her pants and underwear, becoming delightfully sloppy under your fingers. With the way she was unconsciously canting her hips toward you, humping against your hand, you knew she was so close. 

You leaned in, and while looking her in the eyes the whole time, you bit down on her bottom lip and roughly pulled it out, letting the skin snap back in a rough possession of her as she panted and moaned the whole time. 

“Cum for me.” You demanded in a rough growl, finding yourself comparable to one of those rabid dogs. Though you were consuming her in a way that renewed her life, rather than trying to end it. “Cum for me, sweet girl.” 

“Fuck!” JJ cried out, an epic prayer as she spiraled into the all consuming pleasure of her orgasm. 

Though you wanted nothing more than to listen to those beautiful sounds, you had to silence her most pitiful orgasmic cries by clasping your lips over hers. You didn’t want the others hearing - you wanted to keep those sounds all to yourself. You muffled her noises with a tight suction of your mouth as you continued to work her right through the orgasm, keeping a tight grip on her hair the whole time to show her exactly who she belonged to. 

With the crucifix mounted on the bathroom wall, the knowledge of Hankle’s God staring right at you as you did all this - you couldn’t find an ounce of shame inside you. Not now. You could find no better way to honor God than to lovingly dedicate your life to the embodiment of his best work.

...

A/N: Please keep in mind - this is a oneshot, so there will not be a continuation of it or a sequel to it. If you are going to comment, please comment about the body of work that has been written. I have not written any other fics about JJ at the time of this being posted, but if you like my writing style, definitely feel free to check out my Criminal Minds Masterlist or my other Masterlists.

[the-guilty-writer]

Perfect Anyway

Request from anon: ‘you flinched’ with Reid x Reader plsss

Spencer Reid x GN!reader

Summary: Wounds don’t always heal perfect, but Spencer makes sure you know just how perfect you are.

A/N: Thank you for the request! This could be platonic or romantic depending on how you read it. I hope you like it either way!

CW: reader is held by an unsub, gunshots, cuts and scars, Spencer helps reader change their bandages because its is my favorite display of affection in fiction whether it’s platonic or romantic

---

You looked down at the crime scene photos in front of you, hoping to find a pattern. There were a few you had already spotted- the victims were all high risk, all dumped in similar locations, and the killer used the same method every time.

Having worked at the BAU for over a year now, you were used to seeing these types of things. Photos of bodies, detailed files on murders, and horrifying signatures weren’t accompanied by the same churn in your stomach that you’d had during your first few cases. Everyone on the team had been upfront about how working this job could cause you to become desensitized to the worst of humanity- and how that sometimes felt as if you were being deprived of a bit of your humanity as well.

But this case brought all your humanity back to you as you saw a pattern you couldn’t ignore- all of the victims looked like you. From their hair color and skin tone, all the way down to body shape, you fit the unsubs type like a glove. Victim type, of course, was one of the first things the team identified when the case came in, but no one on the team had the courage to verbalize that all the victims looked as though they could be related to you.

It was well known throughout the team that you weren’t an easy person to spook, but the steady rhythm of your heart was beginning to speed and sputter. Adrenaline pitched you forward in your seat and you had to catch yourself from biting at your nails or twirling your pen.

“(Y/L/N),” Hotch said. “When I say that the entire team needs to go to the hotel and get some sleep, that means you too.”

“Yes, sir,” you said. “I’ll clean up and be right out.”

“Don’t keep us waiting too long,” he warned. It was a fair warning- if he hadn’t come to get you, you probably would have been staring at the photos all night trying to piece something together. You gathered your files and shoved them in your bag, taking one last long look at the evidence board.

“Hey,” an unfamiliar voice came from behind you, causing you to jump and turn.

Yeah, this case was definitely spooking you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” the officer said. He was taller than you and buffer than you, but his face and haircut showed his young age. “I just wanted to know if you have found anything yet. I’m just a beat cop, so they don’t tell me anything.”

He approached you slowly and easily, so slow and easy that if you weren’t a profiler you probably wouldn’t have noticed. You felt the pressure of his nearness and his gaze coming down on you.

“Nothing yet,” you said, though that wasn’t true. Over half the profile was finished, but there was a small voice in your head telling you that something wasn’t right about the situation happening. “Sorry. Hopefully the team will have something by tomorrow. Goodnight.”

You turned to leave no faster than you normally would so as not to cause suspicion- so far everything the unsub did was controlled and organized with no sign of falling into disevolution any time soon. Even if the officer was the unsub he wouldn’t dare stray from that control unless he was in the position where his psyche would snap.

And it did.

He seized you from behind, bringing a knife towards your throat to control you. With the other hand he yanked your gun from its holster and tossed it away, though you wouldn’t have been able to grab it anyways. You yelped as the blade grazed your skin just enough to draw blood from a cut across your collarbone.

“I’ve been sitting here all day,” the man whispered in your ear, his breath hot on the side of your face. You wanted to turn away from him, but the knife pressed against your throat kept your head still. “I’ve been watching you work… going over those photos again and again. I didn’t know whether you were testing me or whether it was a gift to see such a beautiful specimen examine the art I would turn it into.” He caressed your face. “The other ones weren’t so lucky.”

“Drop the knife.” You had never been so damn thankful that your boss was a stickler for punctuality. Hotch stood in front of you, gun drawn. Reid was next to him, his revolver in his hand as he slowly moved around so they had the unsub trapped at two angles.

Hotch moved forward. “You heard me,” he said sternly. “Drop the knife and let Agent (Y/L/N) go. You’re not getting out of this.”

“But I’d get to see them.” The hand that the unsub was holding the knife in was shaking now, causing the blade to bite into your skin. Hot blood ran from the cut it was creating. You only hoped now that you’d live long enough for that cut to become a scar. “I’d get to see them as artwork one last time.”

“They’re already artwork,” Reid said. You gazed towards him, but his eyes were locked on the unsub. “You see- there’s already blood drawn on their collar. Look.”

The unsub looked down at the shallow cut that he never intended to make, but was a result of his haste.

 Reid made eye contact with you as if he was trying to silently communicate something. “They aren’t a blank canvas anymore. You can’t make them look perfect.” He looked back at the unsub. “You messed up.”

In the shock of the statement the unsub faltered in his hold on you. You slipped sideways out of his grasp and fell to the floor.

There were one, two, three shots and a body hit the floor behind you.

You scrambled to get away from the unsub, even though he was dead, needing to get as far away from him as possible. Suddenly someone else was grabbing you. You went to pull away but-

“(Y/N)- (Y/N) it’s me.” The softness of Reid’s voice helped calm you and turned to look into his hazel eyes. They were wide with worry and concern.

You threw your arms around him, pulling him against you as you felt your body shake with the fear that paralyzed it before. Reid held you tight, rubbing a gentle hand on your back to soothe your nerves. “You’re safe (Y/N). You’re safe.”

---

You got on the jet the next morning and opted to sit alone on the couch instead of at the table with the others. There were bandages over the cuts on your skin. They didn’t hurt, but they needed to be re-dressed with cream and fresh gauze every few hours to promote proper healing. Hopefully, they would scar over into thin lines, just a shade lighter than your skin, hardly noticeable unless you knew they were there- but the chance of the skin healing darker, or with wrinkling, or bulging was far higher.

The clatter of something hitting the floor caused you to flinch away from the sound, looking up from the book you were reading in an attempt to distract yourself. Rossi’s pen had rolled off the table. He leaned over and grabbed it without a second thought, but someone was looking at you.

It was Reid.

You averted your eyes from him and back towards your book, but it was too late- he had already seen that your shell had a crack. He walked over to you, his gait long and lanky as always.

“I thought you were playing cards.” You glanced at him.

“You looked like you could use some company,” he said.

“I’m fine, Reid.”

“You flinched.”

The pause that filled the air wasn’t any more still or any more quiet than how the jet was before, but it felt like it.

“And I came to remind you to change your bandages.” He changed the topic, breaking the tension.

“If it’s a few hours late it won’t kill me,” you said back, trying not to look up at him. “I need a bigger mirror than the one in the bathroom anyways.”

“I can do it,” he said. You didn’t even have time to argue before he was opening your bag and pulling all the supplies out. He carefully removed the old bandages and pulled wipes out to clean the sites. “I didn’t mean it, you know.” He pulled an alcohol wipe from a disposable packet and began to carefully sterilize your wounds.

“Didn’t mean what?”

“The thing about you not looking perfect.”

You snorted. “It was true for the unsub. And it’s true now. These could scar over really ugly.”

“Or they could scar over beautiful.” He carefully dabbed healing cream over the site.

“And if they don’t?”

Spencer placed a clean bandage on top of the dressing before looking you in the eye. “You’ll look perfect, anyways.”

[irlarcadegannon]

Vulpes Inculta isn’t real and here’s why. I mean, he’s real, obviously, we know there is a guy named Vulpes Inculta, but I think Vulpes is much more a character played by an actor than he is truly his own person.

This falls in line with the inconsistency of the timeline in regards to Vulpes’s age, why we see so many headcanons about Vulpes Inculta being a title passed down rather than the one man we’ve always known.

And I think the truth (well, not the objective truth—we’re talking personal interpretation and headcanons here) is somewhere in between.

There is a stark difference between Vulpes Inculta, the poster boy, the big bad of the legion, the propaganda if you will, and Vulpes Inculta, the man resembling Adam Sandler who approaches you at Nipton. Simply put, I think he’s playing a character for the Legion. He has his own personality and life behind the scenes—bits and pieces of which you can pick up from Caesar. But that all is second to his persona. He’s such a grandiose character, and yet, he’s supposed to be the Legion’s best spy? Then why is he so easily identifiable? Why is he the face plastered on NCR posters? What good is a spy you can see coming from a mile away? One you know by name?

Vulpes is propaganda. He’s a decoy for the NCR. He’s something for them to point a finger at, someone to be an enemy of the people and a name to be feared. If the NCR thinks they’ve identified their enemy, then the real spies can go under the radar.

So the Legion tells Vulpes to go do this and that, keep up appearances, terrorize the locals—go do big, obvious, showy things. Keep it up champ, go make yourself useful. I don’t think he knows he’s being used as a front. Given the near brushes with execution Vulpes has had with the Legion in the past, and how unassuming he looks standing next to Caesar as opposed to at Nipton, I think the Legion couldn’t care less about him. No one within talks about him, only the NCR does. He does his best to keep himself relevant by putting on a great new spectacle of terror, see, look, Caesar, check out this town I massacred! 

But ultimately, he’s an actor. Anyone can play the role. So if he slips up one too many times, proves to be more trouble than he’s worth—well, he can always be recast.

How much Vulpes himself is actually responsible for is.. Debatable. Other than what we witness firsthand, we may not ever know. It’s hard to tell where the propaganda ends and truths begin. Only Vulpes himself can really answer that, and who’s to say he’s a reliable narrator?

[colectingstrz]

ATTENTION !! ∪＾ェ＾∪

➤ (💌) oneshot | niki x fem reader | college au | fluff | low-key a love triangle but not at the same time | word count 7.8k | this is not proof read !! the punctuation is non existent!! So bare with me 😭 |warnings : characters in this story attempt to take advantage of the reader at some points but not so a huge huge extent.

“You give me butterflies, you know? , My heart has gone to paradise”

You’ve always had a little crush on Jungwon but on your mission of getting him to notice your existence you slowly start to crave the attention of someone else.

MARCH THE 20TH back on your first day of attending the badminton club, was the first time you set your eyes on jungwon. Just seeing him play was fascinating to you, he wasn’t a sore looser unlike the others he would take his loss gracefully thanking the opposing team for a good game. When he would win, a beautiful smile marked his face the sight putting you in a trance you couldn’t take your eyes off of him he was just..perfect.

You wanted to talk to him but your nerves got the better of you, the shyness eating you alive in that moment.

Now here you waiting outside of the detention room. Your teacher had assigned you to collect extra textbooks for the class. Normally it wouldn’t be a big deal for you not at all but.. since lee heeseung is back your slightly nervous it means you would have to encounter him

You gulped.

Come one y/n you can do this! Your a bad bitch just collect the books and go

you slapped your self gently in hopes to muster your courage “ just ignore them and retrieve the books easy” you took one last deep breath before entering the room. You soon realised you were just being dramatic as your entrance raised no heads everyone was either sleeping or emersed in their conversations which you were greatly thankful for.

You reach the corner of the room behind the teachers unoccupied desk checking each drawer for the books. Maybe it’s on the other end let me check You stood up walking towards the back reaching for the top shelf

“y/n”

Ignore him ignore him ignore him ignore hi-

“Y/n sweetheart.. you know it’s rude to ignore someone’s who’s talking to you right ?”

You gulped nervously slowly turning around to lock eyes with heeseung and he smiled. Normally you would return it back but something about his wasn’t friendly. “ it’s been a while since I’ve seen you..oh did you cut your hair it looks cute “ you smile shortly getting ready to turn away until he spoke again

“You know.. me and the boys are throwing a party on Friday you should come.. I would really want you to make it y/n”

And I would really not want to make it heeseung

you don’t answer simply humming and you turned away starting to collect the books and placing them on a pile on the desk beside you. Trying your best to showcase that you don’t want to talk but heeseung clearly choose to ignore the signs

“what have I told you about ignoring me I find it really offensive “

Shortly after that you could hear the chair move and the sounds of footsteps followed.

“ don’t ignore me “ he spoke whispering lightly in your ear his warm breath causing chills to run down your spine

“Hee-

“ quit it heesung can’t you see she’s uncomfortable?”

Thank god thank you thank you thank you whoever that is

you both turned around to identify the voice. To your surprise it was that tall guy that always hung out with jungwon what was his name again.. ah Niki

You wondered why he butted in unlike the others who just minded their business as no one dared to step up to heeseung but he did.. and for you it honestly made you feel somewhat flustered by his actions

Ahh i guess if he hangs out with jungwon he’s just a nice guy like him.. nothing much to it

“ come on bro.. I was just having fun “

“ well she clearly isn’t so cut it out..bro”

You could feel the choking tension between the two the whole scene made you greatly uncomfortable. You wanted to thank Niki but the way there were glaring daggers into eacother told you that now was not the time leading to quitely take your leave.

“Ayy, drop the question”

YOUR NOW ALONE as you leave the girls changing room walking into the courts well your aren’t really alone as other students are here but your best friend sunoo is sick so you therefore had to attend badminton alone and have no confirmed partner..

The thought of having to ask some random person to partner up with them makes you want to kill yourself. Sunoo why did you have to catch a cold on all possible days… Damm it

you sighed as you fiddled with your raket just looking around in Boredm until you spotted Niki in the corner. You quickly approached him “hey niki” you waved to which he jumped slightly at your presence “ y/n..” he smiled at you waving back “ what brings you here?” He asked while playing with the shuttle “ I just wanted to thank you for what you did yesterday i really appreciate it “ you smiled at him

Niki just started at you blankly not saying a word. Why is he not saying anything ? Did he even hear me.. “ uhhh.. earth to Niki? Heloooo” you waved your hands aggressively in his face which snapped him out of his trance “ sorry I uhh..spaced out” “ and your welcome y/n” and he quickly smiled at you before turning away.

Well this is awkward..

You both just stand there doing your own thing while you waited for the rest of the students to come out so the club could start. You wanted to to say somthing to him to make it less awkward but aren’t sure. After all this is like your 3rd encounter with Niki this whole term you don’t really talk to him at all.

So you brought up the only thing on your mind

“Sooo.. where’s jungwon” typical of you right? All your interactions with Niki consisted of jungwon somehow regardless if he was there or not.

“ ahh he’s not feeling to well so he’s not going to be in for a few days.. where’s your friend ? Ahh sunoo “ he’s also sick so it’s just me !” You laughed awkwardly

Why is he so awkward I don’t remember him being this awkward well yes he was always but quiet but- “ since both our friends aren’t here.. do you uh want to be partners with me “ he whispered in a low tone causing you to move closer to him slightly to hear him better to which he moved back

“ chill Niki I’m not gonna pounce on you.. you just speak so quietly “ Niki laughed slightly “ this is how I normally talk tho..” you smiled again dragging Niki slightly by the edge of his hoodie “ sure! I would love to be partners with you “ you both headed down to the main court to start the class.

After a long ass demonstration which felt like forever your teacher finally set you of in your pairs. You and Niki choosing to go into the corner

“ niki.. I can not do this I’m giving up” you sighed dropping your racket down and niki chuckled at the sight “ just take it slow if you keep on practicing you will master it eventually like me see?” Niki performed the complex serve with ease causing you to feel even more doubtful “ that’s easy for you to say mr badminton addict “ you rolled your eyes and Niki laughed “ come here I’ll teach you I’ll give you a private lesson “

Niki swiftly stood behind you his back pressing against yours as he reached behind your elbow holding it in place “ you move your right hand like this..” he continued to manover your hands into place as he explained the rest to you. Somehow you lost your focus as you became hyper aware of how close he was to you right now.

If only I could be this close to Jungwon right now..

“ now you try and have a go” you froze in your place. Shit I should have been listing now I’m gonna make a fool of myself “ uh…” Niki laughed “ it seems you weren’t paying attention as usual “ he said the last bit under his breath causing you to raise your brow “ as usual? What’s that supposed to mean ?” Niki smirked “ normally you can’t keep your eyes jungwon”

…… am I really that obvious

“ whaaaaat me? Liking jungwon? Nahhh where did you get that idea from hahaha..” you avoid eye contact with him “I never said you liked him “ you could feel the tease in his tone causing you to mentally face palm yourself I just outed myself like an idiot y/n are you really that stupid.. he’s probably going to tell jungwon and then he would think I’m weird and stop talking to me and I will then fall into a deep depression and my life would be over an- “ don’t worry I won’t tell him if that’s what your worrying about “ you sighed “ thank you thank you so much Niki the last thing I would want is for him to look at me differently..”

this is so embarrassing you awkwardly look down and fiddle with your fingers just wanting this conversation to end it was already weird enough that Niki best friends with him. “how about we make a little deal?” You hummed “ if I can help you get with jungwon you help me with my biology class “ you thought for a moment considering the pros and cons of his offer

In a sense it’s good for you and you can finally have a chance with jungwon and helping tutoring Niki won’t be so bad either. “ deal accepted “ you brought your hand out and he egerly took it giving it a firm shake. A shake which felt like for 10 minutes as Niki seemed to lock his hand tight around yours leavng it to linger longer than what a normal handshake should have lasted

Why isn’t he letting go..

You quickly removed it and masking it with a small laugh and going back to practicing. deep down you could feel the increasing pace of your heart after holding his hand for so long you didn’t quite understand what is was you were feeling

It’s nothing must be the badminton adrenaline or something

“Attention, attention”

YOU HATE THE LIBRARY. but today you would learn even if it’s by force to love the library as it was jungwon’s favourite place to study and have his chill time like he is now.

“ he comes here every free period except Thursdays and Mondays as he is busy with vice president duties “ you nodded making a note down on your book. You feel Niki starting at you “ what..” he shakes his head reaching over to your book and throwing it in the trash can beside you “ what the fuck” he puts a finger on your lips silencing you “ you don’t need that this isn’t some exam..”

Doesn’t mean you can throw the brand new book I got for this specific thing in the bin tssk

“ but how am I supposed to remember and study jungwons likes and interests..” you spoke displaying a pout “ your reading to much into it y/n.. you have to rizz him up in a natural way trust me “ you sighed going along with nikis instructions

“ now approach him go!” He pushes you forward a bit to hard causing you to trip and fall and along with you your bag and it’s contents fall out as well. Great. Now I’ve fallen in-front of my crush I’m going to jump out the window and just die “ oh my y/n are you alright ?” jungwon quickly approaches you while he starts to collect your things “I…I..I’m fine” Stop stuttering

“Thank you jungwon” you smile brightly has he handed you your items one by one into your bag for you. He’s such a gentleman he can’t be anymore perfect “ so.. what brings you here? Your not a regular ?”

“ uh.. I..I just wanted to try out a new environment sunoo always preaches about how the library is the best yeah..” he nods in acknowledgement “yeah it is I love the peace and quiet it really allows me to focus and relax “ you smile again “ yeah totally..” this place is quite dead but if you love it jungwon I love it too

You spend the rest of your time talking with him about various topics the more he spoke the more you crush grew. He was everything you wanted in a guy and too top it off he was amazingly attractive too. You quickly forgot about Niki who sat in another section watching the two of you with a slight frown on his face.

What was that about ? Everything was going according to plan wasn’t it ?

“ your going to heeseung’s a party? “ jungwon nodded “ yes even though heeseung doesn’t have the best rep he is still my friend we go way back I wouldn’t miss it “ you nod slightly “ you should come too!” You smile “ of course heeseung actually invited me himself “ you saw the light in his eyes darken for a split second “ oh really.. I wanted to be the one to ask you actually “ he looked away avoiding eye contact “ it’s fine though.. I’ll see you at the party? “ you nodded enthusiastically and he smiled “ I have a meeting to attend so I’ll see you another time.. it was great talking to you y/n” he smiles waving at you before leaving in the opposite direction

you practically melted into your seat as you slide down the chair letting your head fall backwards “ I just had a conversation with jungwon for more then 5 minutes omg “ you shot up again placing your hands on your cheeks

“Seems like it went well “ you were shocked to see Niki assuming he had just gone away afterwards but you didn’t question it “ yes it did i have never held a conversation with him for longer than 2 minutes Niki you have change my life! “ you happily beamed at him and you rested your hands on either shoulder “ im glad I could be of service to you “ he smiled slightly “ he wants me to go to heeseung a party on Friday “

“ your not going right ?”

You shook your head “ I wasn’t before but if jungwons going and wants me to go.. who am I to say no “ you giggled like a little school girl at the thought of what he said to you earlier and Niki displayed an unreadable facial expression to which you raised your brow “ I understand the whole project jungwon is in motion but I don’t suggest you go to that party “ you frowned “ what.. you said I should jump at any opportunity to hang out with jungwon ? Didn’t you” he sighed

“ I know but you know heeseung and his events in general it’s not a good idea for you to come it’s not like your jungown where your his friend it’s dangerous for you” Niki practically pleaded somewhat begging you not to go “ okay.. I won’t go “ Niki sighed in relief “good”

“Look at you, and my heart jumps out of my chest “

FUCK IT IM GOING IT IM GOING TO CHOOSE MY OWN DESTINY. You thought to yourself as you are now stood at heeseung’s door as you gain the courage to ring the bell.

Before you could reach for the bell the door flug open realving the guy you remember to be called Jake who was your previous lab partner for the last term. He smiled at you and welcoming you in with a hug “ hey y/n! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you at a party did you hit your head somewhere “ you laughed hitting him gently “ just wanted to have some fun that’s all “ you two continued talking until you spotted jungwon in the corner

Approaching him you waved to which he returned one back “ hey y/n… he observed you form top to bottom “ you look beautiful “ you blushed slightly looking down to which he laughed slightly “ you enjoying the party so far ?” You nodded “ it’s not bad “ he hummed

“ you want to grab a drink ?” You nodded he reached out his hand. You took it with no hesitation letting him guide you to the bar section “ anything you like it’s on me tonight “ he smiled at you thank god I didn’t bring any money with me.. ahh a man who can spoil me I could get used to this “ I’ll have the black panther cocktail please “ jungwon ordered after you. “ so y/n what’s your type “ you raise your brow “ type? What type of alcohol I like ?” He shook his head laughing “ no I mean your type in a guy.. just curious that’s all “ he looked at you intensely causing you to avoid it immediately “ uhh-

“Oh y/n I’ll be right back just stay here okay?” You nodded and he quickly disappears into the crowd reaching out for his phone. I guess he has an important phone call you sit their just chilling on your phone.

That’s until you felt a light tap on your shoulder

“ I knew you would come”

Your face dropped at the voice. Damm it I hoped I could avoid you heeseung

“ oh.. hi” he approaches you slowly as he swiftly sat in the unoccupied seat next to yours “ I would love to have small chat with you but let’s not ignore the elephant in the room..” you avoid eye contact “ why have you been avoiding me ? Y/n” you sigh taking a huge sip of your cocktail

“ why do you think heeseung “ you spoke harshly “ you can’t be upset with that.. “ he teased what..? “ how could I not be upset ! You tried to take advantage of me “ you rose your voice already getting worked up all over again as if you were reliving the moment. Heeseung just laughed as he rested his hand on your thighs “ come on.. what did you expect me to do when you were wearing that little black dress..” he spoke lowly as his hands rose higher

No..not again

You tried to move his hands but he pinned yours on the table firmly his strength overpowering yours “ just trust me y/n I’ll make it up to you hmm?” He spoke in your ear as he continued to raise his hands. You wanted to crawl in a hole and just cry you felt so weak and helpless no one could even tell what was happening too drunk to notice and it was crowded.

“What the fuck do you think your doing ?”

You both looked up to see Niki… Again he had saved you.

Heeseung quickly pulled away getting up and raising his hands in defence “ chill little boy.. I was just testing the waters I’ll lay of your girl “ he smirked as he walked off into the crowd Niki quickly came to you placing his hands on your shoulder “ I know your gonna say I told you so and alll b- “ I wasn’t going to” you looked at him surprised “ are you okay “ you shook your head “ no.. not really I just want to go home “ Niki held your hand “ come with me “ he helped you out of the party taking you outside

Why is it soo Damm cold why didn’t I bring a jacket ? I’m so stupid

It’s like Niki could read your mind as he quickly wrapped his leather jacket around your shoulders supplying you with temporary warmth. “ thank you..” he nodded “ I don’t have a car.. we might have to take a bus if that’s okay with you..” you smiled “it’s fine I don’t live that far actually I can walk home form here “ you started to walk and Niki held you back “ no way.. I can’t let you walk by yourself at night I’ll accompany you”

You shook your head. “ no I insist.. let me walk you home y/n” you froze not really knowing what to do with his proposal. His choice of words and the intention somehow making you feel cared for like you were a priority.. his priority.

You would never admit it though you tried to convince yourself he was just being nice. Yeah Niki is just a nice guy after all anyways.. nothing much to it

“ do you now understand why I didn’t want you to go ?” You nodded “ yeah.. I guess I just wanted to talk to jungwon so bad that I didn’t even think about the possibility of running into heeseung…” you spoke while looking ahead into the distance “ good thing I spotted you in the crowd “ you smiled slightly “ yeah.. my hero “ Niki looked down smiling. He ears going red in an instant. Hearing you say that to him was enough to make his night. After all he was just happy to have your attention in this moment even if you had eyes for his best friend.

“ I’m your hero?” You nodded gripping his jacket tighter as the breeze sent a wave your way “ yeah.. your like uhh.. Spider-Man minus the webs and stuff “ he chuckled “ and your what.. gewn?” You thought for a moment. Before answering “ yeah.. I guess I am I’m probably gonna Need saving sometime next week you better com to my rescue when I need you Niki “ you teased poking his arm to which he poked yours back “ I’ll always come and save you y/n.. without a doubt.”

You have finally reached your house slowly approaching the door you turn to Niki “ ah! Here’s your jacket “ you reach it out to him and he pushes it back into your chest “ keep it” you raised a brow “ but it’s yours ? You keep it “ bringing it out again to which he pushes it back to you again “ keep it “ he spoke sternly

You’ve always been quite stubborn and you were not going to back down. After all you felt bad as it ment Niki would have to walk back in the cold “I don’t want you to catch a cold or anything.. just take it it’s yours anyways “ he shrugs “ I’m Spider-Man I’ll just sling back home no need to worry about me y/n” he gave you one last cheeky smile preventing you form handing it back to him again as he practically sped off

“ he’s so silly he’s gonna get sick..” you look down at the jacket and back at his retreating figure in the distance.

Niki silently walked with an AirPod in his ear playing his favourite playlist. Though his music begins to fade out as he keeps replaying your interaction in his mind. The way you would smile at him would give him hope that maybe you could open up your heart to someone else.. to him but then he sees your smile towards jungwon on multiple occasions and is hit with a hard brick of reality

He would never be jungwon.

Your attention was always on him while his was always on you.

Niki was lost in his thoughts until he felt something hit his head causing him to turn in confusion.

“ sorry I didn’t mean to aim for your head “ you scratched the back do your neck awkwardly. Niki was flustered that you had followed him this far. Your action almost giving him hope. “ I know blah blah blah why did you follow me here blah blah blah.. I just felt bad you know.. I don’t want to be the reason your sick just take it “ Niki doesn’t speak he’s to stunned “ come on “ you urge him to put on the jacket “ I didn’t follow you for 2 mins for nothing put.the.jacket.on” Niki didn’t say anything and silently obeyed “ thank you y/n.. honestly you didn’t have to “ you smiled shaking your head “ nah it’s cool.. after all since I got home I technically didn’t need it anymore right now it needs to go back to its owner “ Niki smiled ruffling your hair

The action surprised not only him but you as well as he stood awkwardly with his fingers tangled in your hair when he had realised what he was doing and you just stood there refusing to meet his eyes. “ uhh sorry I just uhh” you laughed nervously “ it’s fine.. i kind of liked it..” you speak shyly looking down “ you liked it..?” Niki stepped closer to you bending down slightly so he could reach your level “ don’t put words in my mouth.. I said kind of “ he again presented you with his cheeky smile inching closer to your face “ it basically means you liked it same thing “ you moved back still avoiding eye contact “ whatever.. Niki”

You didn’t want him to see your face afraid of the expression you were making. You couldn’t stop the smile that was formed or the blush on your cheeks all he did was ask whether you liked it or not you didn’t get why your heart was jumping out of your chest right now. “ I’m going to go now it’s late uhh.. bye “ you quickly turned away running back to your home

Niki laughed at the sight. He thought you were the cutest thing.

“wanna be nice and close, you see?”

THINGS ARE GETTING MESSEY. you and Jungwon are both covered in paint form head to toe red blue yellow you name it. Together you both resembled a rainbow.

Over the past few weeks since the party with the help of niki’s exclusive Info it’s now helped you become a key person in jungwons life. Soon exchanging numbers following each other on instagram and even hanging out outside of school. Everything was going according to plan.

Since jungwon was vice prez he posed privileges unlike regular students like you. He had booked out the art room for an hour just for you and him. You didn’t want to get your hopes up or anything but the thought of him wanting such privacy with you..

The whole thing made you a blushing mess you couldn’t believe it.

“ stooop it jungwon!” You yelled in fits of laughter as he continued to splash paint on your uniform “ why not.. I’m painting my canvas “ he chuckled as he continued what he was doing. Covering you in a range of colours as you had done the same to him earlier. “ what so I’m your canvas now ?” He nodded “ all mine “

All mine.. ALL MINE M. I. N. E. DID HE JUST CALL ME HI-

“ y/n can I ask you something?” He put the paintbrush down beside you suddenly looking more serious. His whole attitude taking a 180. You nodded “ are you and Niki dating ?” The question took you off guard. Causing you to start coughing almost choking on nothing. Jungwon quickly rested his hand on your back gently patting it. “ are you alright ?” You nodded clearing your throat.

Me and Niki.. no way he’s just a friend

A friend that’s all

“ I’m fine.. and no we aren’t dating he’s just a good friend of mine. What gave you the impression?” Jungwon raised an eyebrow as if he was questioning your credibility “ I don’t know.. your always with each other and you even left the party with him too..” jungwon looked down “ I just like being around him that’s all since he’s my freind and speaking of the party if you saw us why didn’t you come ? “ jungwon nervously chuckled not expecting you to ask about his whereabouts that night

“Ahh that.. uhh I didn’t want to intrude but now that you say there’s nothing going on.. I want to take you out “ I’m sorry did I hear that correctly TAKE ME OUT ON ON LIKE A DATE??? “ yeah a date” you quickly clasp your hands over your mouth realising you just spoke your thoughts out loud. Leading jungwon to pinch your cheeks “ your so cute you know that y/n” you don’t respond nothing but a harsh blush forming on your cheeks “ I’ll pick you up on Thursday at 5 sounds good” you nodded.

In the midst of your eternal fan girling you didn’t realise that jungwon was slowly closing the gap between you inching closer and closer your nose’s barely grazing each other.

“ can I kiss you ?” With no hesitation you nodded closing your eyes as you waited for him to press his lips onto yours. I’ve lived my life up to this moment I can’t mess this up.. uhh should I include tongue or would that be coming to strong or should I-

Cutting you out of your thoughts again jungwon grabbed your chin gently pulling you forward and crashing his lips onto yours.

The kiss sent a surge of butterflies in your stomach it raised excitement within you.

Well that’s until it was put to stop when niki interrupted the moment unknowingly saving you for the 3rd time

At the sound of the door opening you and jungwon both jumped off each other quickly Adjusting yourselfs

“Uhh… am interrupting something?” He spoke with a certain tone that confused you and an unreadable facial expression “ yeah actually you did Niki..” jungwon spoke sounding equally as annoyed as him “ well I just wanted to let y/n know that out tutoring session was ment to start 10 minutes ago.. I’ve been looking everywhere for you and you won’t answer your phone “ you gasped slightly covering your mouth “ I’m so so sorry I really lost track of time.. wait outside while I pack my stuff “ Niki nodded leaving the room

Now leaving you and jungwon alone again “ are you really gonna go with him? I wanted to be alone with you for longer.. plus we just got started “ he spoke lowly as he rubbed his hands against your thigh up and down and looking at your darkly. His boba eyes not looking so cute anymore.

Is he trying to seduce me ? Cuz it’s working

“ I would love to be with you more but I really must go.. I promised Niki to tutor him anyways I’ll see you at our date yeah” jungwon nodded giving you a small smile “ see you then y/n”

Your now in Niki’s bedroom on either side of the bed the great distance bothering you slightly. You always sat next to each other so you didn’t get why every time you moved up he just moved away until his left side was moulding into the wall. He can’t be thaaat mad that I was late ? He’s acting very childish right now if that’s the case

“ do we have a problem Niki?” You ask and he just gives you a confused look “ what?” You sigh dramatically “ I said do me and you have a problem” he shook his head looking away form you “ there’s nothing wrong what are you talking about “ why is he being annoying right now ? Just answer the question “ if there’s no problem then why are you acting like there is one not talking to me this whole time and moving away from me ? “ he just shrugged “ it’s nothing “ you sighed in frustration “is it because I was late? Come on I already apologised for that “ he scoffed causing you to now raise your brow in confusion

“ maybe if you weren’t to busy sucking jungwon’s face off you would be aware of the time? Or your phone ringing ?” Bruh.. the tone of his voice just pissed you off “ what the hell is your issue? So what if I kissed jungwon everything is going well ?” Niki sighed “ whatever I’m not having this conversation anymore “ he spoke as he stood up getting ready to leave the room

No on walks out on me if anything I should be the one to walk out on him

You storm towards him dragging him by his arm and throwing him back onto the bed so you could tower over him. Your Strength shocking both him and you “ cut it out with the attitude I don’t get where this is coming from but if you have something to say just spit it out “ he sighed again shaking his head “ it’s nothing leave it y/n”

How could I leave it? Just be honest with me Niki what’s really going on

“ don’t tell me it’s nothing there’s clearly something bothering you.. if I did anything to offend you I- “ you didn’t it’s not you..” you raised a brow “ then what is it ?” He looked away “ I..I..it’s nothing “ niki what’s really bothering you. In desperation for an answer you found yourself making quite a bold move in attempts to get somthing out of him

You placed your hands on either side of his cheeks pulling him slightly closer to you “ you know you can tell me anything right ? What’s really on your mind “ niki was stunned by your action more focused on your touch than what was coming out of your mouth. You gave him the confidence to make a bold move of his own this shocking you greatly.

Niki swiftly slipped his finger in the loop of your belt pulling you down on the bed next to him and used his other to reach behind your neck and pull you in for a kiss. He was scared and nervous of your reaction afterwards but in that moment he felt this was the only way he could express how he truly felt hoping this would give you insight.

The kiss ended as soon as it started it was quick short and simple unlike jungwons. When he pulled away you just looked at him blankly “uhh.. I’m sorry I- “ don’t be “ niki looked at you shocked “ I’m not sorry so neither should you “ “ y..you mean that” you nodded not allowing him to speak any further before you now pulled him in again for another kiss. This one a lot more aggressive than the other and longer.

Your hand tangles in his hair lightly tugging on it while he gently placed his hands on your waist delicately like you were glass afraid he would break you.

You both pulled away after some time gasping for air. Just awkwardly looking at each other “ I’m s-“ you put your finger on his lips “ stop apologising I’m not offended or anything.. after all I kissed you back and I kind of liked it..” he now looked at you “ really “ you nodded “ yeah..” you now started to feel shy turning away form him while his eyes stayed on you “ I kind of liked it too..” you nodded still avoiding his sharp eyes

“ can you stop looking at me like that “ he chuckled “ like what ?” You moved away slightly “ like your gonna eat me something.. it’s creepy “ he chuckled again as he inches closer to you “don’t worry I’m full “ he laughs again pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear so he could see your face more clearly .

“ your not funny “

“ was I a better kisser than jungwon”

“Get out “

“Want attention, want attention”

2 DAYS AFTER YOUR KISSING MARATHON. you were still thinking about it the whole experience made you feel somewhat like a whore even tho you were far form that. You couldn’t get it out your head how you kissed 2 boys in the span of 2 hours

“ does this make me a hoe ?” Sunoo laugs slapping your shoulder “ it makes you classy hoe it’s not like you did anything more right…” he gives you a judging stare it slightly offending you “ come one you know me.. I wouldn’t just have sex with anyone especially 2 different guys in one day that’s crazy “ sunoo hummed

“ but the real question is who did it better “ sunoo teasingly wriggles his eyebrows at you “ I don’t know I enjoyed both ?” Sunoo shook his head “ yeah but one had to be better then the other even if it’s by an inch “ you sighed thinking deeply

You liked jungwons kiss a lot it was everything you had dreamed of he was just perfect you felt tingles of excitement form the kiss but it was short lived but on the other hand with Niki’s it was unexpected you didn’t anticipate unlike jungwons but you still thought it was great so great that you wanted to pull him on for a 3rd kiss you wanted to kiss him longer but was too shy to even look in his eyes after that. His kiss gave you butterflies even days afterwards the butterflies never left.

You secretly enjoyed Niki’s kiss more you wanted to experience it again but you would never admit it not even to yourself

“ jungwon. His kiss was way better “ sunoo sighed “ I was rooting for the niki dude but I’m not surprised you’ve been simping for jungwon for ages. “

Now here you are in the library after your down time with sunoo you stayed back as you and to meet Niki for a tutoring session. But you couldn’t seem to focus as you felt so awkward and skittish around him whereas he seemed to be chill wayy to chill for your liking

It’s like the kiss didn’t even happen

“ y/n you good? You seem a bit out of it today “ you shake your head “ no I’m not good at all “ “ what’s up ?” What’s up your seriously asking me what’s up ? After putting it on me you want to know what’s up Niki!?

“ what’s up is the fact that we kissed “ he shrugges “ yeah and..?” You roll your eyes “ what do you mean and? I can’t even teach you with out thinking of it and your just sitting here chilling..” niki looks at you for a moment before speaking “ I’m not really chilling.. I just don’t want to get my hopes up..” “ what?” Before you could question him any further a voice cut you off

“ oh my gosh hi niki!!” You look up to see a familiar face known as yuna you used to be seatmates at one point somewhere last year but you don’t really talk tho .

“ hi yuna what brings you here? Your a bit early ?” He responds with a smile and a laugh. Why is he so giddy for “ hey yuna” She gives you on look and continuous having a conversation with Niki did this bitch just ignore me? And why is Niki ignoring me too am I invisible do I simply not exist?

“ niki are you done?” He doesn’t respond and keeps talking to yuna. Why are you paying me no attention I’m literally sat right next to you stop ignoring me..

After what felt like forever yuna takes her leave “ I’ll wait in the other section until your done as your occupied.. bye niki “ she rubs his shoulder and sends him a Wink to which Niki smiles and waves “do you have a crush on her or something why are you so smily” he just shruggs “ I don’t know she just makes me happy “ you roll your eyes “ do I make you happy “ he nods oh.. well that’s good to know I guess you try to change the subject as his stare starts to make you nervous “ but.. why do you need her to tutor you. You already have one aka me “

“ well Mrs Yang. You so occupied with your new boyfriend our sessions are shorter and I need all the help I can get since the exam is soon” you roll your eyes “ very funny niki..”

“But why her at of all people she’s not even in the top 20 she’s literally a dimwit “ niki gasps at your choice of words “ that’s not nice! Plus her rank doesn’t define her intelligence.. she’s actually quite helpful and she’s pretty “ you frown unconsciously with out realising pretty ? What does that have to do with anything “so you do like her then “ niki shook his head “ I don’t like her I just think she’s cute that’s all who doesn’t want a cute tutor anyway..”

I wonder if he thinks the same about me ?

“ so I’m the ugly tutor then ?” Niki just laughs “ no your not I never said that “ you frown

“ then what am I ?”

“Beautiful your the beautiful tutor y/n”

“Want attention want attention “

YOUR NOW STOOD AT THE MIRORR as you evaluate your looks. You wanted to look perfect for jungwon in hopes to impress him this is a big deal for you and you didn’t want to make any mistakes or somehow put him off you.

The bell soon rings indicating his arrival you rush down starts quickly adjusting your hair in place as you open the door “ h..hi jungwon “ you smile and he returns it back handing you some flowers and chocolate. He’s so boyfriend material omg “ you look lovey y/n” you replied with a small thank you as he guided you to his car.

The date was going amazing the conversations were flowing you weren’t bored at all the location was beautiful he payed for it like the gentleman he appeared to be. He made you feel like a princess and you loved every second of it. Until you didn’t. Somehow not even 10 minutes into the dinner you started to loose interest not necessarily by what he was saying but more cuz your mind was pre occupied of thoughts and feelings for someone else who want present.

For a split second you wished you were on this date with Niki instead.

“ it’s getting late do you wanna come crash at mine for a bit.. if your comfortable that is ?” You nod too eagerly and jungwon laughs slightly as a result

You enter his bedroom and are shocked to see how well kept it is for a guy. “ your room is so neat I didn’t expect that honestly “ he smiles feeling proud after all he cleaned it up just for you. “ I like to sleep in a clean environment I hate messy things “ you nodd “ this is so clean unlike nikis room a total shit show “ jungwon frowns at the mention of his best friends name coming out of your mouth.

He sits down on the bed beside you “ you’ve been to nikis bedroom..?” You blush at the context realising how wrong it could sound not wanting to give jungwon the wrong impression or any idea that you’ve shared a kiss or two in there either. So you quickly try and assure him “oh no no no.. it’s not what your probably thinking.. sometimes I tutor him from his home he prefers to do it in his room that’s all” you laugh nervously while jungwon silently nods

“ so y/n.. now that we are alone don’t you think it’s time we finished what we started hmm?” He speaks slowly as he rubs your inner thigh slightly giving you an innocent look. Damm it here he goes seducing me again and it’s working “what.. kissing?” He laughes tucking a strand of hair behind your ear “ no silly I think we have passed that stage I want to do more with you“ you gulp slightly “ I want to be more intimate with you y/n would you let me ?” He again gives you the innocent look giving a different vibe in contrast to the words coming out of his mouth having a different meaning. You felt your self getting lost in his eyes taking the bait.

“ uhh.. you see i would love to but you know we aren’t dating and I don’t know how I would feel just doing that with any- “ am i just anyone to you y/n?” You pause for a moment “no..” he smiles “ we don’t have to put a label on it let’s just have fun for now how does that sound to you ?” You nod allowing him to take the lead.

It was all going well until you started to see things almost as if you were hallucinating. As jungwon kissed you. His face started to morph the sight was freaking you out. I must be drunk I did have a few drinks to be fair.. but your heart almost stopped when his face was replaced with Niki’s

What the fuck

He then went and kissed your neck trailing down “ you like that ?” If only jungwon could see the shock and fear on your face right now he even sounded like Niki too..it’s as if he and jungwon switched places and you was with him now the whole thing was sooo trippy

You blinked aggressively until Niki was gone only to be met with jungwon

What the hell what the hell was that..

soon afterwards jungwon reached his hand lower and you held it in place. He raised a brow “ what’s wrong ?” You smiled slightly “ I’m not quite comfortable with this can we s..stop please “ you swore you could see him roll your eyes but tried to convince your self it was the alcohol creating illusions like it did before

“ come on.. I’ll be gentle “ you shook your head moving away “no I’m not comfortable “ jungwon sighed “are you a virgin” you nodded “ I’ll take good care of you y/n don’t worry “ you gulped as he continued to move closer while you backed away with your back eventually hitting the wall

“ don’t you want this? “ you looked down not really knowing how to respond. Jungwon ignored your silence and attempted to take off your dress “ stop “ he just hummed and continued what he was doing

You felt panicked.. it’s as if you were reliving that moment all over again back in your first year where heeseung tried to take advantage of you but luckily the police came and shut the party down so he was forced to a stop but this time there’s no police to save you there’s no Niki to save you your on your own.

Before jungwon could make another move you mustered all your strength and pushed him off of you causing him to fall on the bed “ don’t touch me leave me alone jungwon I told you to stop and you kept going what the hell is wrong with you !” He rolled his eyes adjusting himself

“ you can sleep with Niki but you can’t sleep with me ? Come on y/n” you raised a brow Tf is he talking about

“ what..? I never slept with Niki where the hell did you get that from “ jungwon shrugged “ I just have a feeling “ you chose to ignore him as this wasn’t your main concern “ I want to cut this date short “ jungwon smirked “ come on y/n it’s not that deep” you sighed in annoyance “ not that deep? Well maybe for you! It didn’t but it is for me! Do you know how long I’ve liked you? I’ve been waiting for the day we would have a conversation I just wanted to be around you wanted you to see me notice me I wanted your Attention but I’m reality your just a fake asshole.. your not the guy I thought you were “

Jungwon started to clap slowly like he was applauding you the sight making you more pissed off “ bravo y/n! what a suprise as if it wasn’t obvious.. “

“What..”

“ there’s no point in keeping up the act now.. fine you caught me I guess I am a fake asshole this whole date me and you? Was just for bants”

Bants.. fucking bants

“Get out “ jungwon raised his brow “ please don’t get offended it wasn’t my idea it was hees- “ get the fuck out “ jungwon just looked at you “ you do realise this his my bedroom right ? You should be the one getting out “

“ shut the fuck up jungwon “

He raised his hands on defence “ okay chill.. I’ll leave temporarily geez.. you women have anger issues “ he spoke one last time before he left the room. Thus leaving you to sit on his bed in silence as you looked into the ceiling

3 minutes later you recived a call and when you saw it was niki you answered with out hesitation and the butterflies came to make a visit once again

“H..hello “ you quickly sniffed so he wouldn’t catch on to the fact you had been crying

“ are you at jungwons house “ you nodded

“ I’ll be there in 5 stay put“

He hung up leaving you to sigh you wanted to stay on the call longer even if it was just to heat his voice.

“Got me confusеd but one thing's for sure I know you're thе one”

YOUR STANDING OUTSIDE OF JUNGWONS as you wait for Niki’s arrival. By the time you headed out jungwon was already gone. You were not complaining as if you saw him again you might have gone to jail for physical assault and possibly attempted murder.

You couldn’t belive how wrong you were about him. He seems to have such an angel facade but in reality was just the same as heeseung. You always thought it was weird how they were friends but after tonight you can now understand why they are.. just the same as each other.

You regretted the last few weeks all this time with jungwon could have been spent with niki. You enjoyed your time with him always looking forward to your sessions he just made you so happy you couldn’t explain it. But you were so caught up in jungwon to even realise what was right in front of you.

Eventually you could see a figure quickly approaching you. You sighed in relief when you could identify it as Niki. He bent down for a minute trying to catch his breath before speaking “ y/n..” you slowly walked closer to him “ did you run all the way here..” he nodded

Get you a man who can run miles just for you Niki is the mf standard

“ you sounded upset I was scared that something might have hap- Niki stooped when he felt your arms wrap around his waist with your head resting against his chest “ im just glad your here now..t..thank you” Niki didn’t say anything and just wrapped his arms around your small figure.

You didn’t want to let go mainly cuz you craved his touch and because you could feel yourself starting to cry again but didn’t want Niki to see you in that sate.

Niki pulled away cupping your cheeks and wiping away a tear “ please don’t cry.. I hate to see you upset “ Niki your going to be the death of me just hearing him say those words and the look in his eyes just made you cry even more.

Shortly you both arrived at his house where he made it his sole mission to cater to your needs making sure you were okay.

Niki had made you some soup but if anything you now felt emotionally sick and physically sick. It tasted like absolute shit. But seeing how hard he was trying for you even watching a YouTube tutorial made your heart flutter so you ate it with a smile even tho deep down you wanted to throw it all up.

“ you don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to..” you shook your head “ I think if I told you jungwon might be a dead man tonight.. “ you laughed silently while Niki’s gaze darkened “ y/n..” you sighed “ if I tell you please don’t be mad at him.. I’m still upset but I don’t want you guys to like fight because of me your good freinds “ Niki nodded and you started to explain it form start to finish

It would be an understatement to say niki wasn’t fumming right now he couldn’t belive how jungwon would try and take advantage of you and disrespect you like that. “ I’m going to fucking kill him” niki started pacing down the kitchen back and forth and you tried to calm him down but he was in his own world. “ you stay right here” he sped of reaching for his coach getting ready to leave

No no no no

You didn’t know what came over you but it felt right in the moment. You found yourself reaching and wrapping your arms engulfing him in a back hug “ please.. just stay here with me he can wait “ Niki froze his heart beating like crazy he couldn’t believe he was this close to you right now. He quickly forgot about his anger and followed your words.

“ I’m sorry..” you looked at him confused “ sorry? For what “ he sighed “ I was the whole reason this happened on in the first place if I had just minded my business and not suggested the deal this wouldn’t have happened to you..” he looked away from you drowning in guilt. If he had not been so selfish and formed this plan just to spend time with you and confessed to you head on like a man you would be fine.

“ but then if you never made the deal we would have never talked ?” Niki rose his head “ yes the outcome was somewhat bad but..if it weren’t for this deal we wouldn’t be where we are right now ? If anything I’m glad it happed I was able to meet you “ you smiled to which he returned one back

“ Niki actually..” “no” you raised a brow no he didn’t even let me finish

“ I’m not going to be your second option as much as I want to be with you y/n”

You froze a bit taken back by his response and how quickly he caught on. You was going to confess but not to him being the last option. He was deep down always the first choice even if you didn’t know it at the time.

“ no no no Niki wait let me explain- “ no honestly I was just fine being your friend it was enough for me but I don’t want this just as if things were not smooth with jungwon we wouldn’t be having this conversation ever.”

You frownded “ no Niki it’s not like that at all.. I guess I’ve always somehow liked you but I just couldn’t or I didn’t want to come to term with my feelings as I wanted to like jungwon so badly..” he didn’t speak just looking at your silently

“ I guess in a sense jungwons downfall helped me confirm my feelings I don’t know.. I was just afraid and I was so sure I liked jungwon at the time so I just suppressed it all but when you kissed me that day it was just harder for me to come to terms with my feelings I wasn’t sure how to handle them or what to do with them” you sighed before continuing “ plus seeing you all giddy and smily with yuna made me somewhat annoyed? I guess I wanted you too treat me and look at me the same way you did to her I wanted all of your attention but I knew you didn’t feel the same way so again..I kept it to myself and tried to force and experience that I had always wanted with jungwon “

You looked at Niki again trying to read his expression but failed. But to your surprise he flicked your forehead instead “ ouch!” And held it in pain “ your so silly y/n you know that right “ you frowned while holding your head “ what made me think I didn’t like you? I think I made it pretty obvious “ you looked at him confused

What?.. so this whole time I could we could have..

He pulled you in for a hug wrapping on hand around your waist and the other on your head “ you don’t know how happy I am to hear you say those things to me “

“ I never thought that your attention would leave jungwon I always felt like his shadow to you..” he pulled away looking deep into your eyes “ well.. that’s changed now “ you smiled “you saved me again my spider man..so I might as well just fall in love with you” you spoke giving him a teasing look to which he returned one back “ Gwen always falls for spider man in the end “ he winked causing you to playfully hit his shoulder

TWO MONTHS LATER things have been going great you couldn’t have been happier with Niki he always put a smile on your face.

You loved it when he gave you all of his attention it made you feel like you were the only girl in the world the butterflies in your stomach gradually Increasing with every interaction you had.. he was your paradise and you were his.

“ what were you and Jake talking about for so long earlier “ you gave Niki a blank stare “ physics we were talking about physics nothing much to it babe” he frownded “ well if there was nothing much to it babe then why were you smiling and laughing so much “ you sighed crossing your arms “ are you perhaps jealous Niki?” He aggressively shook his head “no” you laughed “ you so are !” “ I so am not!” “ so so are!”

“So so not- okay fine I am maybe a little bit” you smiled reaching out to hold his hand “ why are you stressing when your the one who’s my boyfriend plus Jake has nothing on you he’s to short for me anyways “ Niki smirks “ I am your boyfriend aren’t I” you nod smiling “don’t give Jake all of your attention before he starts getting ideas..” you laughed “ wouldn’t dream of it “

@ COPYRIGHTS SOOTREEPEAR 2023

𖤐Do not steal or else and I’ll come to your house and suck your blood 🧛‍♀️

𖤐Authors notes and dat 📝 - sorry for making jungwon an ass 🥰 had to be done for the plot 😽 . This took so long as I kept switching form here to TikTok and losing my paragraphs 💔 lessons learnt ig but yeah I hope you liked it !!

- Peace and love ♡︎

𖤐 link to my other works !!

[philsmeatylegss]

Can I talk about Cat King because no one else will???

I haven’t finished the show yet so this might be wrong or age like milk

I could talk about his role in the story for hours. Tbh I overly identify with Edwin because I’m gay with a lot of problems in the past and Edwin’s historical typical internalized homophobia already makes a history nerd like me giddy with glee. And Cat King easily can be written off as a gag character, which I do think is part of his purpose, but he also represents the aspect of this story regarding Edwin’s sexuality not solely being sexual, but also still being sexual. As in obviously Edwin sexually fantasizes about men, but there’s much more than just that. That implication, acknowledging the fact, feeling free to tell Charles and the others, acting on that, just day to day life. Edwin had gotten by for thirty years ignoring his sexuality until cat king came along. Edwin acknowledging his sexuality, acting on it, and discussing it (in his own way) is a large part of his character growth which is fully pushed on because of Cat King. I know he’s supposed to be the bad guy, but I genuinely believe he is an anti hero or something along those lines. I think at first it was to just tease Edwin, but it grew into something deeper.

Don’t even get me started on the cuff. It is SO symbolic I could almost cry. It’s a physical representation of how limiting and claustrophobic it is to be in the closet. Specially not being out of the closet to close loved ones. You couldn’t have a closer relationship than the relationship between Edwin and Charles, but it doesn’t seem that way before Edwin comes out. And that’s multiple reasons on both of their parts, but part of it is that complete shut down to that side of himself. People don’t realize how much sexuality plays into day to day life. And Cat King made Edwin realize how much he’s missed out on. And also that he can’t put off his problems forever. Slay relatable.

I think the addition of Crystal and Niko also makes Edwin realize that he needs to at least recognize his sexuality. I think they help him realize how much he is missing out on by not being himself in general, nevertheless outing his sexuality.

And all of this goes back to the cat king!!! It drives me insane no one talks about it!!! There’s also the aspect that, on the surface, cat king is just supposed to represent lust. The difference between his feelings for Monty or Charles is that there’s emotions there while cat king is purely lust and a giggle. But when you think about the story, that’s just not true. When media deals with a character’s sexuality not being straight, it’s usually over sexualized or not acknowledged as anything sexual. Cat king gives that balance to his feelings for Charles. Because being gay is partly explicit. As is being straight, bi, pan, whatever (other than asexuality). Saying you are ___ sexuality is implying that you are sexually aroused by whatever gender(s). And cat king is that reminder while Charles and Monty are the reminder that love and relationships are also part of it. Cat king adds balance that makes Edwin’s character feel way more authentic and actually gay.

I haven’t even gotten to cat king pushing for Edwin to admit why he solves cases. WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT IT?!?! I was gnawing at the bars of my enclosure during that scene. It is arguably one of the most important scenes of the entire show. And it’s entirely brought on my cat king. Every single time Edwin either decides or is forced to reveal something vulnerable about himself, it’s Cat King!!!! Edwin’s confession that it is about preparing a justification as to how he should be allowed into heaven even though he is gay is such an insanely important moment and I’m gnawing at my enclosure again!!!

I may be studying history, but I’ve always been an English kid at heart and symbolism about religion and childhood trauma brings me to my knees. And Cat King is scratching an itch I’ve had for years that I had no clue was there anD NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT WHILE IT IS DRIVING ME BANANAS.

Anyway, that’s my case for talking about cat king. I just finished episode 4 and it’s gonna be really embarrassing when something happens the next few episodes that completely invalidates all of this

[em-dash-press]

Tips for Writing a Scene

Whether you’ve been writing for a long time or want to start, everyone begins in the same place—with a scene.

Not an entire chapter.

A scene.

Here’s how you can make it happen on the page.

Step 1: Have Characters In Mind

Scenes can’t happen without characters. Sometimes you might have a place in mind for a scene, but no characters. Sometimes, it’s the opposite. 

Pick at least two characters if you’ll have external conflict (more on that in step 4). One character can carry a scene with internal conflict, but things still have to happen around them to influence their thoughts/emotions.

Step 2: Give Them Goals

Short stories combine mini scenes into one plot with a beginning/middle/end. Longform manuscripts combine chapters to do the same thing, but with more detail and subplots.

You don’t need to know which form you’re writing to get started.

All you need are goals.

What should your scene do? What does your character(s) want? It will either use the moment to advance the plot or present a problem that the character solves in the same scene/short story.

Step 3: Include the Senses

If you’re recounting an experience to someone, you don’t say, “I had the worst day. My shoes got wet and I couldn’t get home for 10 hours.”

You’d probably say, “I had the worst day. I stepped in a puddle so my shoes got soaked, which made my socks and feet wet all day. Then I had to wait 10 hours to get home. It was miserable! And now my feet smell terrible.”

Okay, you might not use all of those descriptors, but you get the picture. The story is much more engaging if you’re talking about the feeling of wet socks, soaked shoes, and the smell of stinky feet. The other person in your conversation would probably go ugh, that’s horrible!

Your scene should accomplish the same thing. Use the five senses to make the moment real for the reader.

As a reminder, those senses are: touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing.

You don’t need to use all of them at once, but include at least two of them to make your stories shine. You also don’t have to constantly use environmental or sensory descriptors. Once you establish the scene for your reader, they’ll place your characters and want to keep the plot moving.

Step 4: Identify the Conflict

Speaking of plot, scenes and stories can’t move forward without conflict. There are two types:

Internal conflict: happens within a single character (may or may not affect their decisions at any given time; it can also be the reasoning for their goals and dreams)

External conflict: happens outside of a character or between two characters (may or may not have to do with their internal conflict or personal goals; it always advances their character growth, relationship development, or plot development)

A scene could touch on either of these types of conflict or both! It depends on your story/plot/what you want your scene to accomplish.

Step 5: Pick a Point of View (POV)

Sometimes you’ll know you want to write a specific POV because you’ll have a character/plot in mind that requires it. Other times, you might not know.

It’s often easier to pick a POV after thinking through the previous steps. You’ll better understand how much time you want to spend in a character’s head (1st Person) or if you want to touch on multiple characters’ minds through 3rd Person.

Example of Setting a Scene

Step 1, Have Characters in Mind: Two sisters arrive back home from their first fall semester in different colleges.

Step 2, Give Them Goals: Sister A wants to ask for dating advice, but the sisters have never been that close. Sister B knows that Sister A wants a deeper conversation, but is doing anything to avoid it.

Step 3, Include the Senses: They’re in a living room with shag navy carpet and the worn leather couches have butt-shaped shadows on the cushions. The house smells of vanilla bean, the only scent their dads can agree on. Christmas lights hang on a fake tree that sheds plastic fir leaves on the floor. Their family cat purrs from within the metal branches.

Step 4, Identify the Conflict: Sister B will do anything to avoid talking about feelings. That includes trying to get the cat out of the tree (shaking the branches and reaching into them doesn’t work), checking to make sure the windows are closed against the winter air, and faking an obviously unreal phone call. This makes Sister A go from passively hoping for advice to chasing her through the house. 

Step 5, Pick a POV: 3rd Person, so internal thoughts and feelings from both sisters are obvious to the reader and emphasize the scene’s comedy.

-----

These are also useful ways to rethink a scene you’ve already written. If something about it doesn’t seem to be working, consider if it’s missing one or more of these points. You don’t need to include all of them all the time, but weaving more sensory details or conflict into a short story/chapter could solve your problem.

Best of luck with your writing, as always 💛

[seungkwansphd]

swept off his feet

pairing: jun x fem reader wordcount: 3.8k summary: when you show up one night with the clear intention of confronting your cheating boyfriend, jun knows that he shouldn’t let you in. but he has such a soft spot for you and he’s so much bigger than Dean that it wouldn’t even be an issue if it came to a physical altercation. genre/themes: size kink size kink size kink, smut (MDNI!), lil fluff, lil angst, cheating bf, girls supporting girls, bouncer!jun, secret crush, mentions of jun being larger than reader, manhandling them & things in that vein. some plot.

a/n: IDK WHAT IT IS ABOUT THIS MAN BUT...had a bit of a breakdown, bon appetit!

[dean]: ‘i’m so sorry babe, i’m going out with the boys on friday! i’ll make it up to you tho’

    You frowned at your phone. You’d known that Dean was going to turn down your date suggestion for Friday, but it didn’t make it any easier of a pill to swallow.

    A few weeks ago, one of your friends had mentioned that they’d seen Dean looking suspiciously cozy with another person at a bar. After some good old internet sleuthing, you’d DM-ed her and let her know that you were, unfortunately, dating the same guy. You had been very grateful that it hadn’t turned into a catfight and even more delighted when Ava suggested that you work together to surprise and confront Dean. She and Dean would be going out to The Nines on Friday and you planned to be there at the same time.

“Oh hi Jun!” you greeted the tall man at the door with surprise. “You don’t usually work Friday?” you half-stated, half-asked. You liked Jun, he was always willing to listen to your drunk musings when he happened to be working.

“No, but Mingyu needed the night off so I took his shift.”

“Ah, I see,” you nodded, “Well…can I share something with you if you promise to still let me in?”

“…Yes,” Jun responded, suspicious.

“Promise,” you insisted, extending your hand to him. Jun laughed and hooked his pinky into yours.

“I might cause a bit of a scene tonight,” you grimaced apologetically.

“Oh?” he furrowed his brow at you, “Should I be worried?”

    You thought for a second. You doubted that it would come to a physical altercation, but you never knew with men. Jun was taller and broader than Dean anyways, so you didn’t think it would really be an issue even then. You felt a little bad because you did intend to cause a bit of a scene, but Dean deserved it!

“No, I don’t think so,” you smiled, giving him a once over. Yeah, even if Dean could fight, Jun definitely had the size advantage on him.

“I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, but I will kick you out if I need to.”

“Fair’s fair,” you laughed before stepping into the bar.

    Jun knew he was being too lenient with you. If any other patron had told him they intended to cause trouble, he would’ve turned them away, but he had such a soft spot for you. You’d wander out every so often to bum a cigarette and chatter away about your day. You discussed all manner of topics and had gotten to know each other decently well. By the time he’d realized he was harboring a crush, you had already started seeing Dean.

    You took a seat at a table in the back and sipped on your drink while you waited for Dean and Ava to arrive. You couldn’t yet identify how you felt about the betrayal, that was still a tangled ball of feelings to unpack, but what you were sure about was that both you and Ava deserved better than a liar and cheater. You watched people curiously until you noticed Dean and Ava enter the building and take a couple of seats at the bar. You finished your drink, allowing them to settle in a bit, before you approached.

“Hi Ava!” you greeted her excitedly, pulling her in for a small hug, “I didn’t know you were going out! Oh…Dean?” you fixed him with a fake, confused look. “Oh? Do you two know each other?”

“We do! Do you two know each other?” Ava asked, acting similarly confused.

“I-, uh, yeah,” Dean stuttered. You were surprised at how satisfying it felt to see him flounder like this.

“Dean, baby, I thought you were going out with the boys tonight?” you wound your arm around his waist exaggeratedly.

“Baby?” Ava questioned, doing a great job of acting taken aback.

“I-, uh, no, it’s not-,” Dean was turning a wonderful shade of cranberry as he struggled, “Ava and I, we...”

“Oh cut the crap, Dean,” you finally decided to drop the act, starting to feel a little sick to your stomach. “We both know.”

“What?” his expression transitioned from confusion into anger, “Are you serious? You two set this whole little thing up? To what? Make a fool out of me?”

“I think you did that yourself, my guy,” Ava crossed her arms over her chest, looking him up and down with disgust.

“You fuckin’ bitch, you gotta be kidding me!” Dean stood up, furious.

“Whoa, hey,” the bartender, James, reached an arm out, signaling to Jun, who was already at your side.

“You gotta be a special kind of stupid to think that we wouldn’t find out,” you hissed at him. You were surprised at the venom in your voice, but all of the hurt that you’d been repressing decided to show up here and now.

    Dean stepped towards you and Ava, planning to do God knows what, so you instinctively stepped in front of Ava. He was circumvented, however, by Jun picking him completely off his feet.

“You must be pretty fuckin’ pleased, Wen,” Dean shouted as Jun carried him away. “You can finally shoot your shot.”

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Ava fussed over you, slightly in shock.

“Yes, are you?” you asked, giving her a once over.

“Yea?” she nodded as she patted herself a few times before giving you a thumbs up. “Yeah, I’m good!”

    You watched as Dean struggled against Jun, but again with the height advantage, it was light work for Jun to escort him out of the premises. It was a little funny to see Dean emasculated in this way, legs flailing. It was satisfying in a lot of ways.

“Am I crazy, or is that kind of hot?” she commented in disbelief, gesturing at Jun. 

“God, I don’t know,” you shook your head. You didn’t want to think about that right now.

“You alright?” Jun came to check on you two.

“Yeah, we’re good,” you nodded, slightly flushed across your cheeks. “Do we have to leave?”

“...Yes,” Jun finally replied after a long pause. You could tell that he didn’t want to do it, but you had indeed caused quite a stir.

“That’s okay,” you chuckled up at him, “I told you I was gonna make trouble tonight. You shouldn’t have even let me in. You’re too nice to me.”

“You’re easy to be nice to,” Jun murmured, lips pulled up into a crooked smile.

    Ava watched the way Jun looked at you and her eyes widened excitedly.

“We’re going!” she piped up helpfully, tugging you away from Jun before James banned both of you forever.

“YN!” Ava stomped her foot at you after she had gotten you fully outside.

“What?” you cocked your head at her.

“I think that bouncer in there likes you! Did you hear what Dean said?”

“No, what did he say?” you furrowed your brows. You hadn’t really been listening all that closely.

“He said ‘you can finally shoot your shot’. He had to have meant you.”

“I-, Jun?”

“Come on, let’s go to Felicia’s! We need to discuss!” Ava tugged you towards the cocktail lounge. She had really enjoyed getting to know you over the last weeks and she was hoping you could become friends. This was a good first step!

…

“Eee, I’m so excited, their cocktails look so good here!” Ava clapped her hands together happily as you walked into Longfellow with her. You’d been a little surprised at the way that Ava had continued to stay in touch with you after the showdown with Dean. It wasn’t as if you minded it. After this whole thing with Dean, you felt a little protective of her.

“Oh, isn’t that Jun?” her eyes lit up excitedly as she spotted the familiar man at the end of the bar.

“Is it?” you asked.

“It is!” she nodded, making a beeline towards him. You had no choice but to follow. He seemed a little surprised when Ava popped up at his side, which made you laugh. His eyes flicked to you at this sound and flicked back just as quickly.

“Hey,” he nodded, eyebrows raising slightly.

“So this is where you hang out on your days off?”

“Sometimes,” he shifted in his seat to face you fully.

“And who are these folks?” his companion turned to face you with a bright grin.

“A couple of troublemakers,” Jun grumbled affectionately.

“Rude,” Ava laughed, “But in this singular instance, true. I’m Ava.”

“Chan,” he smiled back at her.

“You two staying in touch, then?” Jun asked as Ava and Chan were drawn into their own conversation.

“Seems so,” you chuckled, feeling a bit nervous around him.

    Ava had passionately made her case about Jun liking you and it had really stuck in your mind. She had more or less forced you to contend with the fact that Jun was incredibly kind and attractive and you probably wouldn’t hate it if what Dean had alluded to was true.

“How are you doing since…you know,” Jun asked.

“Ah, well…,” you thought for a moment. “Was upset. Had a bit of a breakdown and…bon appetit,” you laughed nervously, unsure how much you really wanted to share with Jun.

    Jun sputtered, completely caught off guard by your response. Ava and Chan looked up from their conversation and a sort of soft warmth spread through you as you took pleasure in making Jun laugh.

“Pretty fuckin cozy,” an unfortunately familiar and grating voice cut through Jun’s laughter and your thoughts. You looked up to see Dean sneering at you. “Didn’t take you two too long to get busy, huh? If you wanted him so bad, you could have just broken up with me. You didn’t have to ruin things with me and Ava too!”

    Your brow furrowed, temper flaring at his persistent idiocy. “Are you hearing yourself?” you stepped towards him instinctively.

“Whoa, hey!” Jun jumped off of his stool and caught you in his left arm before you did something you would regret. You found yourself tucked into his side as he turned to dress Dean down himself. “You are wildly out of line, Dean. The only person who did anything wrong in this situation was you. You had a great thing going and you made the decision to go and fuck it up. What happens next is none of your business, so I really have to recommend that you make yourself scarce.”

    The intensity of Jun’s gaze and the ease with which he’d picked you up made your heart flip flop.

    Dean looked up at Jun defiantly before he assessed that this would not go in his favor. Throwing his hands up in the air, he played it off as if it wasn’t worth his time. Ava looked up at Jun with a sense of wonderment while you dangled off of his arm.

“Um, Jun?” you spoke up, wiggling slightly against him. He was warm and firm against your back in a way that you didn’t not enjoy, but you imagined he was tired of holding you up.

“Oh! Sorry, I forgot I still had ya,” he chuckled sheepishly, setting you down. The adrenaline had really kicked in while confronting Dean. His right hand came to your waist to steady you on your feet and his fingertips brushed against some of your exposed skin.

“Oh,” you couldn’t prevent the breathy exhale that escaped you at this touch. Your heart pounded wildly in your chest.

“You good?” he asked, voice low.

“I’m not sure,” you feeling unsteady on your feet, “You still got me?”

“Yeah, I got you,” he smiled in a way that made your breath catch.

“Will you two get out of here already?!” Ava exclaimed with frustration as she punched the air.

    Jun raised an eyebrow at you, an unspoken question. You inhaled sharply before you nodded and you felt yourself being picked back up and carried out of the bar. Your rational mind knew that this brutish, caveman-like display should have embarrassed you, turned you off, but your lizard brain was in strong disagreement.

“Did you drive?” he asked as his fingertips stroked at the small of your back.

“No, Ava did,” you shook your head.

“Okay,” he nodded curtly before moving towards his truck. With ease, he maneuvered you to open the passenger door and place you on the seat before he jumped into the driver side. “By the way I have no expectations. I’m happy to drop you off at home too, just give me an address.”

“I-,” your brows pinched together as you looked at him with surprise. He was so kind. “I don’t know your address, though?” you cocked your head at him playfully.

“Hah,” he tucked his head and let out a shy laugh, “Fair enough.”

    Jun maneuvered the truck deftly, his fingertips briefly brushing by your cheek when he hooked his arm around the passenger side headrest. You were surprised when that same hand found its way to yours, threading your fingers together. His thumb brushed against the back of your hand and forced you to register just how small your hand was in his. You’d never been a hand girly, but you could see the appeal when you looked at Jun’s. It was hard not to imagine him continuing to manhandle you, gripping and teasing, reducing you to a pile of mush.

    By the time he had parked, you were slick. You hopped out of the truck and Jun resisted the urge to capture your lips in a brief kiss before leading you up to his apartment. He wasn’t interested in anything depthless with you. He’d waited patiently and there wasn’t any need to hurry now.

    You swallowed hard and you watched Jun unlock his door. You knew he was tall, but somehow it didn’t register all the time. Now when he drew himself up to full height in that jacket, you could say with confidence that it was doing something to you.

“Kiss me,” you requested, practically bowling him over.

    Jun was delighted. Your hands pushed the jacket off of his shoulders as he did just that, swallowing your delighted noises. He deposited you on the sofa in order to shrug the jacket completely off. Your eyes sparkled up at him and it made his pulse go haywire. He picked you up easily and finished the walk to his bedroom before setting you down again.

“So gorgeous,” he murmured as he tucked his face into your neck, kissing softly across your jaw. He was pleased when you gasped, shifting to allow him more access. His hands brushed up your thighs and you shuddered at his touch.

“Jun,” you whimpered as his palm slid up your inner thigh and you squeezed them together instinctively.

“YN,” Jun exhaled shakily, “You are making it so difficult to remain a gentleman,” he spoke in such a low register that you almost felt it more than you heard it.

“Don’t be,” your lips curled into a grin. “I want you.”

    Jun’s eyebrow raised and his hot gaze raked over you as he shifted the hand between your thighs to press against you through your pants. You let out a breathy sigh as your hips shifted, grinding against him eagerly. Jun’s pupils dilated as he watched you work yourself against him shamelessly.

“Look at yourself,” he remarked appreciatively. “So eager.”

“Jun,” your voice grew higher pitched, signaling your desperation.

“Come for me, angel,” he smiled, coaxing your first orgasm from you. “You are so incredibly sexy, I need you to know that.”

“Shut up,” you laughed shyly at his praise. Jun cut you off with another kiss as he tugged at your shirt. You took the opportunity to undress and the way Jun looked at you made your head spin.

“Look at you,” he groaned as he pushed you onto your back. He left warm, wet kisses up your inner thighs until he lapped at your glistening folds, tasting you fully. Your skin pebbled at the sensation as his tongue dragged across you again. Jun took a pace that was languid and leisurely. He licked and sucked noisily at your cunt, arms hooked around your thighs to keep you spread open for him.

“Juuuuuun!” you let out a fluttery whine when his nose pressed against your clit. When you looked down at him, you could tell that he was grinning mischievously. He ground tiny circles against you, working your breaths into shallow pants again.

“Fuck,” you breathed shakily as you came down from a second high, almost lightheaded at the intensity.

“You are so fun to make cum,” Jun half-smiled up at you, resting his cheek against your thigh.

“Thanks, as soon as I get my bearings I’ll return the favor,” you joked, leaning forward to look at him.

“We’ll see,” he grinned, getting up to undress. Your eyes widened with each piece of clothing that he shed. Jun was in almost unreal shape, but the thing that actually gobsmacked you was when he pulled his jeans off, unleashing his cock. So everything was to scale.

    You moved without thinking, hand grabbing it by the base. You couldn’t help but bask in the soft curses and grunts that left Jun’s lips as you stroked him. You enjoyed the weight and girth of it in your hand before Jun pulled you onto your side, spooning you from behind, and folding you forward. His hips met yours as his cock slid between your legs, fucking your slick thighs.

“So wet,” he sounded proud as his shaft dragged up and down your clit, driving you out of your mind.

“Jun, please,” you grabbed the arm that was hooked around your waist. “I want you in me,” you whimpered.

    Jun nodded, turning away for a moment to grab a condom out of his nightstand. He had slipped it on and lined himself up when you twisted towards, grabbing his free hand with yours.

“Let me? You’re huge,” you asked as your hips were already moving, your lips nuzzling around his tip. Jun laced his fingers in yours and watched as you worked yourself down to his hilt. You exhaled triumphantly as you took a moment to simply enjoy feeling full.

“Fucking fuck,” Jun cursed, hands coming up to squeeze your breasts as you just sat on his cock, wet and warm.

“Hm!” you giggled delightedly at the way he palmed your breasts, squeezing almost hard enough to hurt but only just. “Jun, I need you to fuck me now,” you finally confessed.

    Jun’s control snaps. He practically growls as he pulls his hips back and drives into you, deep. One arm snakes around your waist possessively, using it to stroke you down on his cock, increasing slightly in pace.

    You reach up to cover your mouth, an effort to muffle your own obscene noises for fear of disturbing his neighbors but Jun had other ideas.

“Let me hear you,” he grunts into your ear as he bucks up into you, turning you inside out. “Let them hear what I do to you,” he smirks, possessive side fully unleashed. He curled forward, teeth dragging across your shoulder as he stroked into you, deep and hard.

“Jun, I-!” you let out a strangled cry, walls fluttering around him as you cum.

“So good,” he pressed a kiss to the top of your head as he squeezed you tight.

    You reveled in the security of it before the thick feeling of him inside of you had you ready for more. You wiggled out of his grasp and climbed on top of him, straddling him as you peppered his face with kisses.

“You’re really sexy,” you pulled back to look at him as you teased yourself around his tip. Jun laughed shyly at the compliment, momentarily ignoring the urge to pull you down around him.

“Am I?” he grinned up at you, hands resting at your waist. You shivered when his thumbs brushed against your lowest ribs.

“Yes.”

“Why?” Jun probed. He knew he was fishing but he was curious.

“I,” your ears grew hot, “You’re so big!” you blurted out. Not your most eloquent moment, but it got the point across.

“Oh?” he queried, eyes darkening at you.

“You picked me up so easily, my mind just went blank,” you explained, despite feeling extremely shy.

“Ah,” Jun nodded with understanding, “You like when I manhandle you a little?” he teased, hands gripping tightly around your hips. You gasped when he lifted you up easily, a thin strand of your arousal stretching from your lips to his tip.

“Yes,” you squeaked, clutching his shoulders for support as he held you up, suspended mid-air.

“Hn,” he purred, lowering you until you were lined up with him again before jerking you back up just as quickly.

“Jun!” you gasped, “My god will you impale me already?” you asked impatiently, head empty, no thoughts.

    Jun smirks before pulling you down around him gently. He still wasn’t sure how accustomed you were to his size and he didn’t want to run the risk of hurting you. Your soft moans egged him until you looked up at him, eyes full of hunger.

“Jun, I need you to rail me. Please,” you begged, desperation clear in your voice. Jun’s eyebrows raised in surprise before he nodded, pulling you down against him, setting a near punishing pace. You let out a satisfied sigh as you worked yourself up and down his girth, your soft pants filling the room.

“You’re kidding,” Jun groans, feeling himself rapidly unravel. His hands grip your hips tightly as he strokes up into you. Your breath catches when he shifts slightly, somehow hitting impossibly deeper.

“Jun,” you squeak, eyes squeezed shut as you shudder around him. “Jun, I’m coming!”

    Jun exhaled sharply as his hips stuttered into you, finding his own release. He smiles when you fall onto him. The feel of your skin on his is addicting.

“You’ll stay the night?” Jun asked hopefully as he pulled himself out of you to clean up.

“If that’s okay?” you smiled at him.

“More than,” he smiled his boxy smile back at you.

He helped you clean up and dressed you in one of his shirts, which absolutely swallowed you.

“No! You look too adorable,” he grabbed you by the shoulders and shook jokingly. You chuckled at his antics, Jun had always been able to make you laugh. “Do you have plans tomorrow?” he asked suddenly after you’d laid back down.

“No, do you?” you shook your head.

“Let’s spend the day together,” he smiled at you, “Dean may be a moron, but he was right that I’ve liked you for a while. I just want to make it very clear that I’m not interested in just being a rebound.”

    You kicked your feet happily as you squeezed him around the waist. On this issue you were in total agreement.

[buddiebeginz]

I think it’s kind of funny that everyone assumes Eddie will have to be dragged from the closet kicking and screaming before he’ll confront his sexuality when my man was in the army. He actively chose to leave his wife and stay surrounded by predominantly men. It’s also like a thing that a lot of men have have had sexual experiences with other men in the military, many who won’t go on to identify as lgbtq but will likely just chalk it off as stuff that happened in service.

It's just funny that we were all looking at Buck and his life experiences and going yup that man is not straight and he’s definitely fucked some guys yet according to everything we’ve learned in the past two eps (counting the trailer for the next one) Buck has no real experience with guys.

I think it’s highly possibly Eddie had an experience or two in the army he also could have liked some boys his own age when he was younger but felt like he couldn’t be open about it. Given Eddie's family and cultural background it may have made accepting his sexuality harder and maybe he just felt like that was not an option.

When we’ve heard him talk about his relationship with Shannon it’s always seemed like he got married out of obligation and because he thought that’s what you're supposed to do more than anything else. I’ve always felt like he loved Shannon but wasn’t in love with her. All his relationships with women have felt like he was just going through the motions. With Ana I think he felt like he hadn't dated in a while and needed to get back out there and also felt obligated to maybe find a new mom for Chris but when things started to get too real he started to have panic attacks.

My head canon has always been that Eddie is gay and I also believe he's been aware to some degree of his feelings for Buck at least since season 3 after he changed the will. The will scene has always read like a love confession to me. It's always felt like the only way Eddie felt he could tell Buck. I'm not sure exactly how aware Eddie is of his feelings or his sexualty and however cognative he is of those things I do think he assumes Buck is straight. So it's going to be really interesting to see how he reacts in the next ep.

I do feel like we're going to be surprised by something in the upcoming ep since we're getting a break in between this ep and the next one. I think it's possible we'll get some kind of acknowledgement of the guys feelings for each other even if it's something as simple as just maybe Eddie outside of Buck's door after he finds out Buck is bi and we see a bunch of different emotions play out on his face. Even that would still be a huge step for Buddie imo.

[taking-thyme]

Lesser-known signs that you may be Arospec

This applies to all Arospec identities like Demiromantic, Cupioromantic, Lithromantic, etc... I tried to include as many as possible

You might want a romantic relationship but know you couldn’t be truly happy in one

You strongly identify with terms like Spinster, Bachelor or characters who notably do not have love interests. The idea of living as a spinster/bachelor and not having romantic connections appeals to you

You still want to be desired but in a distinctly non-romantic way, such as in an unrequited or platonic scenario 

You find yourself primarily attracted to those you cannot have, like fictional characters

You have had crushes, but they fade away as soon as it is reciprocated or even just with time. All romantic feelings leave you and you suddenly find yourself totally uninterested and uncomfortable

You have tried romance before, especially multiple times, but it never seems to be for you, even for multiple different reasons

Romantic tropes that turn everyone else on upset or confuse you, such as protectiveness, possessiveness and yandere dynamics

You just plain don't see the appeal of romance

Aspects of romance in general freak you out, such as kissing

You walk out or feel extreme discomfort during romantic scenes in movies

You don’t understand how anyone has the time to date, or other do things like thinking that your peers are all too young to think about dating, when really, it’s just you

You have been interested in others choosing your romantic partner for you, such as in matchmaking or arranged marriage, because you have a hard time choosing someone that you are attracted to yourself. It seems easier to have a trusted companion choose your partner because you don’t feel that way towards anyone in particular on your own

You have romantic feelings but are completely fine with not acting on them

You find it extremely easy to get over crushes. When someone you had a crush on rejects you, you’re like “oh okay” and just start not feeling that way towards them, like you just turned your attraction towards them off 

You’d be “fine” with romance and go along with it, but do not have any desire to do it yourself

You want relationship perks without the attraction

You like romance in theory, but not in practice

You constantly doubt yourself in relationships in a way that is not directly or obviously linked to insecurity or something else

You don’t know why people spend so much money on weddings, despite knowing that they’re in love

You’re incredibly cynical about romance for no apparent reason (that is not immediately trauma-related or anything)

Romantic stories and gossip are unappealing, boring or upsetting

[bestworstcase]

@cryptidblues tumblr Ate this ask for some reason so copying text from the email notif

See I’ve always thought that the mechanism through which cinder stole the maiden powers (bug) from Amber made her a Grimm hybrid. And THATS why Ruby’s silver eyes worked on her at the top of beacon tower; regardless of the presence of the wvyern. Because underneath her skin she was Grimm (and still fully human). “Your newfound strength brings with it a crippling weakness”/“You said the light only reacts to Grimm but…it reacted to Cinder”/“perhaps there was something that you just weren’t seeing?” Leading from that the implicit threat of “Oz can’t defeat [Salem]”/“but maybe someone else can?” to Salem is not that Salem could be eradicated by silver eyes (go poof like other Grimm) but rather be put back in The Tower by silver eyes. By being turned to stone. Still immortal but frozen. Trapped. Her Freedom completely sundered. “You thought there was no greater punishment we could bestow upon you?”/“Your light comes from his brother”/“The god of light…his eyes”. There’s an assumption that Salem is invulnerable, no personal skin in the game, “she’ll come back”, nothing effects her, nothing sticks; but her running this risk of being petrified by silver eyes gives depth and high stakes to any interaction she has with Ruby face to face (and her possible complex relationship to a hypothetical favorite silver eyed lieutenant). ᓚᘏᗢ

the reason i Don’t believe the grimm beetle made cinder vulnerable to the glare atop beacon tower is that ruby hits her with a second full-blown glare in atlas towards the end of v7 and—even though cinder by that point has a whole grimm arm—cinder flies away from that one unscathed. either:

a) the implication salem makes in v5 that cinder can learn to resist the glare is true,

b) there is an additional, unknown but more important factor besides “grimm” involved here, or

c) both.

i think the answer is probably both, although more b than a. (maria sees the flash coming from the god of light’s eyes and concludes this power came from him; but she couldn’t see that ruby’s eyes were silver until she saw their light go off, and she missed those two silver-eyed children of ozma’s. “maybe there’s something you’re not seeing” is true of her, too)

(the silver light evokes the pure white of the void between realms, where the dead travel from life to death and the souls of the living and the dead can meet in between. ozma passes through this liminal space every time he dies and reincarnates, and his children with a mortal woman have silver eyes. after ruby witnesses pyrrha’s death and her light erupts, the hand cinder used to kill pyrrha is destroyed and ruby spends months hearing echoes of pyrrha’s final words—which she wasn’t there to see—haunting her dreams. there are butterflies, classic symbols of reincarnation and in certain cultures historically identified as psychopomps, all over the scene where maria discusses her theory. maria is also philosophically wrong in her conception of creation/life as “enemies” of destruction; destruction feedslife and exists in balance with creation, and the glare itself is definitionally destructive. silver eyes have something to do with death.)

the kids at least, per nora and “maybe someone else can [destroy salem]?” do seem to be thinking in terms of ruby’s eyes being the silver bullet that can stop salem if not destroy her outright, and ruby has the wyvern example to look to to be thinking about trapping salem in stone forever. but then the leviathan is there to raise the possibility that petrification is not necessarily forever, and salem herself seems unconcerned when ruby’s eyes start to flash in ironwood’s office. plus again the implication salem makes that the glare can be resisted: if that is something she taught cinder to do, it’s something salem must be able to do too.

i do think the glare is probably capable of hurting her somehow—i have my own specific headcanons as to how for Fic Purposes but in terms of textual speculation, what happens if you take a grimm woman who can’t die and blast her with the grimm-killing light from the threshold between life and death? it sounds painful, if nothing else.

but if the leviathan could break free after being petrified, and salem is both immortal and human and thus able to, like cinder in v7, resist the glare in some way, i think being turned to stone or encased in stone is not likely to slow her down for very long. although i can’t imagine she would enjoy the experience.

the other factor to consider is that—well, quite a lot of the fandom assumes the point of silver eyes is to “purify” the grimm out of people, for example saving cinder from her grimm arm, and on the basis of maria’s theory that is an easy extrapolation to make; which is to say, after the experience in the ever after, i wouldn’t be surprised if the idea of “purge the grimm out of salem to make her herself again?” was broached on the heroes side. the reality though is that being grimm is not what’s wrong with salem and becoming grimm is something she chose, or at least accepted as a possible consequence of what she attempted to do when she jumped into the pool of grimm, and using silver eyes to try to Force Her to go backwards is probably not a good idea and not something that will work. she is change incarnate—that’s what destruction means.

so there is a thematic challenge here that might be explored; seen through the lens of maria’s theory, silver eyes are anti-change (preservation) and therefore anti-theme (destruction is part of life, not the enemy of life) so her theory is incomplete and the most obvious way to fill in the gaps and arrive at the whole truth is to test the glare against salem herself, because she is change. 

and because rwby is so thematically driven i’d anticipate this happening concurrently with salem turning in a new direction, which intersects in very interesting ways with what is being set up vis-a-vis needing cinder to open the vaults vs wanting cinder to be alive, safe, and free. (i think the momentum there is toward salem being forced to choose between getting the crown and protecting cinder, and she’ll sacrifice the crown for cinder’s sake; the… possibility of silver eyes being involved in that scenario is obvious.)