#I didn’t realise how much I’d like their friendship until I saw it

[mistyaquaart-oocmustafa]

If Rhea is Damian Priest’s “Terror Twin” can Bayley be his Sunshine Sibling? 🥹💕

[jesssssssssica]

are we still friends? cl16

“i think that we should end this”

i knew the end was near a while back, i mean did he not think i’d seen the way he would look at my friends, the same way he used to look at me when we were just two teenagers in love who thought they could take on the whole world together. 

i miss those days a lot.  

“oh okay.”

i think he expected a much bigger reaction from me, i mean at least i think by the surprised expression he bears at my short answer. i don’t know why he thought i would give him much more than a one sentence answer though because i know if the roles were reversed he would be the exact same, maybe he would only just utter ‘okay’. 

does he expect me to empty my heart out and beg for a second chance? to say that he was the best thing i had because he isn’t, i have a life outside of him, or does he think that when i’m not attending races with him i’m crying in my room, missing his presence? i don’t know what goes on in his mind. 

i will miss him though.

i’ll miss waking up to the sunlight shining down on his face, highlighting his features as he lightly snores against the pillow.

i’ll miss christmas and spending it with his family, waking up on christmas morning and trotting downstairs, laughter echoing around the living room as we all exchange gifts.

i’ll miss his stupid accent struggling to pronounce words.

i really will miss him but if it’s really meant to be then maybe one day, whilst i’m sitting down in some random cafe i’ve stumbled across, i’ll look across the room and spot him and only then will i realise that we’re meant to be but until then we will have to part way-

“hey y/n, i hope we can still be friends.”

what.

the.

hell.

how can he ask that when he knows that in a weeks time he’ll find himself in the arms of someone i called a friend?

if i had the strength i would ask him ‘can we be friends?’ but i’m afraid that a sob might escape me instead.

is he an idiot? he had the perfect chance to just leave and get on with his normal life and yet he has my mind working a mile a minute. surely he realises that we would never work as just friends, i’d be petty that you moved on so quickly which would then cause you to make a snide comment about me which would then make me throw my drink on you and then yeah…. not the greatest friendship.

if we were still friends, i wouldn’t shake your hand or say hello or laugh at your jokes, i would probably just smile at you once or twice, though you’d be able to tell that the smile doesn’t quite reach my eyes, causing your mood to damper but i know even after that you won’t give up. 

so why, when you know the truth, do you still want to be friends? just say your goodbyes not ‘see you soon’ or ‘smell you later’ because that means you hope we have another chapter, so just say goodbye and walk away. 

i don’t exactly like you right now charles, but i’d rather we didn’t end this on bad terms. 

i look up, only just remembering the other presence in the room, somehow ignoring his beady eyes on my face. 

he stares at me, waiting anxiously for my answer, so i just shake my head. 

“no charles, we can’t.”

his shoulders sag and he walks away into the night. 

i never saw him after that. 

i wonder what could’ve been.

authors note: i’m gonna cry, i’m going back into my short pieces again :(((

[faebaex]

Love is Blind

author note: jealous Leona, jealous Leona, jealous Leona (≧◡≦) this is spicier than i usually write, but no explicit nsfw. maybe later? who knows. i still don’t know if i want this to evolve into a love triangle but i did like the idea of it looking that way, bc Mal is just so happy to have a friend＾◡＾

characters: Leona Kingscholar x F!Black Footed Cat Reader

warnings: Suggestive/Mature content, toxic/jealous Leona, slight dubcon if you squint? general angst

Your life at Night Raven College had fallen into a comfortable rhythm. During the day, you’d attend your classes and try to take as many undisturbed naps as you could. Ruggie had assured you that Leona had called off the disruption of your naps but Jack was a little harder to reign in, still riding the high of being delegated a duty by Ruggie that he insisted on checking up on you, no matter how many times he was told he didn’t need to anymore. 

During the night, you’d occasionally meet up with Malleus on the Ramshackle grounds. After quitting the science club, you’d officially become the second member of the Gargoyle Studies club and you supposed many of your evening walks with Malleus could count as club activities, as he’d point out many gargoyles during your walks and explain their history in great detail. The more time you spent with Malleus, the more you realised that he was just like anyone else at this school. Sure, he was the future ruler of Briar Valley and sure, sometimes the way he said things came out rather more sinister than intended, but he was more beyond that. He was intelligent, passionate and kind. In fact, during the start of your friendship, he would constantly gift you with little things, until in the end you had to tell him to stop after he gifted you a particularly delicate looking bracelet. He relented, but looked absolutely delighted whenever he saw you wearing it. 

Yes, your life at Night Raven College had settled into an agreeable cadence in all but one area. And that area was associated with one person in particular...

Leona Kingscholar. 

It was difficult to define your relationship. You weren’t officially dating, nor were you just friends. You seemed to be stuck in a sort of purgatory, with neither of you being the one to take that final step. You wondered if you should be the one to pursue him. It wouldn’t be unexpected, women from the Sunset Savanna were well known to actively pursue a partner if they found them suitable. But you found yourself reluctant. Leona would blow hot and cold. You’d spend afternoons napping together, curled up in each other’s arms but on other days, he would be cold and distant. It was jarring. 

You were currently dealing with another bout of this temperamental behaviour from Leona. You had no idea what his problem was this time, but you took to avoiding him, not wanting to deal with his bad attitude. You stopped taking naps in the botanical gardens temporarily as a result, opting for your bedroom instead. 

Classes were over for the day and you were on your way to return to your bedroom when you ran into Ruggie near the lounge, looking more ragged than usual. He scrubbed a hand over his face when he saw you, “if I was you, I’d steer clear of Leona. He’s in a foul mood today. I’m pretty sure half the dorm has fled. Save yourself.” You raised an unimpressed eyebrow, “he’s been in a foul mood all week.” You huffed, and Ruggie hummed in agreement. “Well, I’m going to be hiding out until he calms down. Ain’t nothing to gain when he’s like this, yanno?” 

You hummed in response as Ruggie gave you a wave and hurried off in the opposite direction. Now that Ruggie had mentioned it, you did notice that the dorm was much quieter than usual. Had Leona’s bad mood really cleared the dorm? At least that meant you’d get to nap in peace. 

Luck was not on your side, however. 

You were walking down the corridor towards your room when you ran into the angry lion himself. Ruggie wasn’t wrong - the tension around Leona was palpable. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at him and decided against engaging with him. You went to walk past him, only for a large hand to shoot out and grab your shoulder, suddenly shoving you back against the wall. You opened your mouth to spit a scathing complaint, only to be cut short when Leona shoves his face into your neck, taking a long, aggressive sniff. A dark growl rumbled out of his chest as he pulled his face from your neck and loomed over you, his arms caging you in. 

“You stink.”

You blinked, taken aback by his sudden comment. But your features soon morphed into offense when the meaning of his words hit you. Your lip curled up in anger, “How dare--”

“You smell like that lizard,” Leona hissed, cutting you off, “the whole dorm stinks of it, and it’s because of you.” 

Again, you found yourself taken aback by his words. His usually sharp green eyes were dilated and dripping in scorn, his ears flat to his head to signal his irritation. The way his tail whipped around both of your legs was a clear signal that Leona’s mood was volatile. But you couldn’t help but feel dumbfounded. Lizard? What on earth was he talking about?

“And you’ve been avoiding me. Barely have any time for me now that you waste it all hanging around with that damn lizard at all hours, huh?” Leona continued to rant, his hot breath puffing against your ear, causing them to twitch involuntarily. “Leona, I have no idea what you’re talking about--” 

“Hah. Don’t play dumb with me. You think I wouldn’t notice that you are rarely in the dorm at night?” Leona’s chest rumbles as he takes another deep breath of your scent, only for his nose to wrinkle in disgust and his tail to lash violently. His nose traces the outline of your ear as he growls out, “it should be my scent that is all over you, not his.” 

Finally, the penny drops for you when you realise what this is all about. “Is this about Malleus?” You ask rather dumbly, but you can’t help it. Whilst you realise they had their differences, you didn’t realise that it run quite this deep. Malleus’ name falling from your lips only caused Leona to snarl in irritation, and suddenly you were pinned tighter. Sandwiched with the wall at your back and Leona’s chest at your front, you couldn’t move an inch. Your own tail thumped against the wall now in discomfort, although you couldn’t ignore the heat that bloomed on your cheeks and in your stomach, a heat that only increased when Leona pressed a knee between your legs. 

“Don’t say his name.” He rumbled into your ear, his mouth travelling down from your ear to trace a line down your cheek, hesitating to press a chaste kiss to the corner of your lips before he continued down his trail to your neck. He was scenting you.

“Leona...” He let out a deep rumble of satisfaction when you breathed out his name, “... This is ridiculous.” You felt his lips curl up into a snarl against the skin of your neck in response to your words, and you groaned as you felt a short, sharp pain at your collarbone as he nipped at the sensitive skin there and sucked. 

“Leona!” You hiss, feeling a fresh flush of heat shoot down into your stomach and you shifted your hips, only really succeeding on grinding yourself down onto his thigh and you sunk your teeth down into your bottom lip to stop the moan that threatened to bubble out of your throat. 

“It’s about time I marked you as mine.” Leona continued to pepper kisses against your skin, eyes narrowing in annoyance when he is stopped by the open collar of your shirt. You felt him huff against your skin before his hands reached up to pull at the buttons on your shirt. 

“Leona!” You grit out more firmly, shoving a hand at his chest in an attempt to get some space, only for Leona to catch your hand and continue the trail of his kisses up from your elbow instead. He nipped again when he reached the pulse point of your wrist, staring down at you with deep, smouldering eyes. Sevens, why did he have to be so hot and irritating?

“Stop struggling, frosh. I’m not stopping until you’re dripping in my scent.” He pressed his leg between your thighs, as if to emphasise his words. Your eyes narrowed and there was a sharp glint in his eye - he knew you hated it when he called you that. His eyes fell shut, ignoring your annoyance as he nuzzled into your wrist, only for his nose to bump into the bracelet that rest there. His eyes shot open and he glared at the jewellery before aiming the glare back at you, baring his fangs. 

“Who gave that to you?” 

You stayed silent, aiming your own glare back at him. Your silence only confirmed his suspicions, and before you could even think to move, he was already tugging at the clasp. You yelped in irritation as he pulled dangerously at the clasp, reaching a hand to stop him only for him to bat it away. “Stop, you are going to break it, Leo--”

“Are you dating?” 

“... What?!” 

“Are. You. Dating. Him?” 

“No!”

Your denial does little to calm Leona as he continues to snarl at you, “Then why are you accepting jewellery off of him?” 

“It was a present! We’re just friends!” 

“Hah! Friends? Are you that blind that you can’t see when someone’s trying to court you?” 

You frowned, you arm going slack as you processed Leona’s words, which was all he needed to pop the clasp of your bracelet and pull it from your wrist. He scowled at it before tossing it over his shoulder like it was no more than trash. You felt anger brew in you at his actions, and you snatched your wrist away from him before he could tighten his grasp again.

“You’re just jealous,” you spat at him, and you shoved at his shoulders with all of your might, Leona’s eyes widening in surprise as he was forced a few steps backwards, “you think you can just come around whenever you feel like it, and that I’ll just happily put up with it whenever you have a bad mood? Get over yourself. Maybe I hang around with Malleus because he’s better company than you, did you ever think of that?” Leona snarled at that, your words digging right into his insecurity, “You don’t get to police who I hang around with, Leona.” 

You huffed, side stepping past him and marching over to where the discarded bracelet had landed, scooping it off the floor, “you’re so full of yourself that you clearly have no idea what is going on around you. You have the nerve to call me blind but have you ever thought the blind one is actually you?” You spat at him, not keeping the venom from your tone, “I’ve made my interest in you clear for weeks, all but proclaiming it for the whole dorm to hear but all you want to do is play games. Like I’m some prey for you to toy with.” Your lip curled up in disgust at your words, showing clear your distaste and frustration with how things have been going. 

“But now you think I’m interested in someone else, you’ve decided you’re interested? Jealous even? Give me a break. Just what kind of signal is that supposed to send?” Your words were bitter as you bared your fangs at him, your stance aggressive, frustrated, hurt. For once, Leona kept his mouth shut, his eyes guarded as you continued to rage at him. 

“Just what am I to you, Leona? A fun way for you to pass the time while you stew over whatever particular thing has pissed you off that week? You know what, don’t even answer that.” You scrubbed a hand over your face in frustration as you felt yourself start to run out of steam. “I’m so over this.” You grumbled and turned away, starting to make your way towards your bedroom. 

“Just... Leave me alone, okay Leona?” You huffed over your shoulder, not bothering to look back at him as you slipped inside your room and slammed the door with finality. You immediately threw yourself to your bed, burying your face into your blankets as you heaved out a sigh of frustration. Remembering the bracelet in your hand, you rolled onto your back to examine the clasp in the light. Thankfully, Leona hadn’t appeared to have broken it when he pulled it off your wrist, although you bet he wished he had. 

You stared at the jewellery that dangled off your fingers, and your mind couldn’t help but ponder over what Leona had said. Malleus, courting you? The idea was absurd to you. You reached out and felt around blindly until you could place the bracelet on your bedside table, and retracted your arm back to your side. You wondered what you should do now, and again found yourself scrubbing a hand across your face in chagrin. Except, you caught a whiff of something as you did so. Another sniff confirmed it was Leona’s scent, attached to your wrist from his previous ministrations. 

You felt yourself scowl as your irritation flooded back, and you pushed yourself up into sitting position. First things first, you’d have a shower... You could worry about everything else later. 

[lucy90712]

Home- Jude Bellingham

WC: 2.8k (this is a longer one)

For most home is the place they go back to every night where they feel safe but for me it is something that has evolved as I've gotten older. When I was young I always thought of home as the house I lived in with my parents but then I grew up slightly and we moved house a few times and I realised that the building I was in didn't matter it was being with my parents so they became my sense of security. Now everything has changed again as I have well and truly moved away from home and to another country and where I feel safe is with my best friend he's the one that provides me with that feeling of being home and being secure.

I met Jude when I was about 5 as my family moved down the same road as his and we have been friends ever since. As kids we always used to play with each other whenever we saw each other at the park or when our parents spent time together. Naturally there was a period of time where we drifted apart and didn't really talk at all as we found other friends but in our later teen years we became so much closer again as he was there to support me through a tough time in my life. When Jude moved away to go and play football I was so incredibly proud of him but I missed him so much when he was away but we talked pretty much every day and whenever he came back home we spent loads of time together.

After spending a year and a bit separated from each other it was time for me to to go university and although I had offers from unis across the country I also applied to a few in other countries that had a good course for that I want to do and I happened to get an offer with a full scholarship to somewhere in Germany. It was like it was meant to be as the uni was in the city that Jude lives in as well so I accepted the place right away. When I moved out there I stayed with Jude for a few days until I was able to move into my apartment and from those few days onwards we have been truly inseparable. We have seen each other nearly everyday since with the exception of days when Jude had to travel to other countries for games which meant spending a lot of time together but we both loved that as we are the definition of best friends.

Recently my friends have been trying to convince me that Jude and I would be a great couple but I always tell them we are just great friends and nothing more but that doesn't stop them talking about it when they think I can't hear. They are always pointing out how much time we spend together and how we supposedly look at each other, I've even heard them call the two of us endgame despite me having a boyfriend. It's not just my friends either I've heard Jude's teammates saying that the two of us would be the perfect couple and making bets on when we will get together, not if when. Whenever anyone talks about Jude and I being a good couple I always shut it down immediately because I don't like to think about it as whenever I do I end up in a dream world where we aren't just friends.

Truthfully I have had feelings for Jude for a few years now it I fight to keep them away because I just can't lose him. There are many nights that I lay awake fantasying about what life would be like if Jude and I were dating but then I remember just how important he is to me and I know I can never say anything. Jude is everything to me he's the one I go to when I'm feeling down and he's the one I celebrate with first when something exciting happens without him I'd be a mess and seemingly all alone. There is no way I could risk telling him and having that ruin our friendship which is why I'm choosing to try and get over my feelings without anyone ever knowing. This is exactly why when I met a nice guy who treated me well I ended up dating him as I needed someone else to focus my attention on and for the most part it works pretty well. There are occasions when I think about Jude but for the most part I'm really happy with my boyfriend and I feel like slowly I can move on from Jude and live my own life happily.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now which is the longest relationship I've ever been in. Recently it's felt like we are getting a bit more serious too which scared me at first but I've now come to terms with the fact that at some point this was going to happen and I need to let myself let go of my feelings for Jude. As we are now completely comfortable with each other I gave my boyfriend a key to my apartment so that when I have late classes he can let himself in so we can spend time together when I get home which since has become a bit of a routine. Today is one of those days where I was supposed to have a late class but we were able to finish an hour earlier as we had nothing else left to cover. As I was early I decided to get some dinner on my way home for the two of us to eat as I thought that would be a nice surprise along with me finishing earlier.

When I finally got to my apartment the door was unlocked which meant someone was already there as I definitely locked the door this morning. As I went inside it was completely quiet and none of the lights were on despite it starting to get dark outside which made me question if I did actually lock the door. Out of fear I grabbed my phone so I could call the police if necessary but as I did I noticed a text from my boyfriend telling me he was at my apartment which somehow made my anxiety worse. I quickly walked around the living room and kitchen before going to look behind all of the closed doors. First was my office but that was empty then came the bathroom but I didn't need to open that door as when I stood outside I could hear moaning coming from further down the hallway which meant it was coming from my bedroom. I didn't want to assume the worst but I couldn't help it so out of pure rage I stomped down the hallway and flung to door open to reveal possibly the worst sight I've even seen. My boyfriend in my bed with another girl.

I'm not sure what came over me but I yelled at both of them kicking them out of my apartment and ending things with my so called boyfriend straight away. I made sure to get my key back too as quite frankly I never want to see that man again. Once they were gone realisation hit me like a ton of bricks and nothing could be done to stop the tears flooding down my face as I questioned how long this had been going on for and how stupid had I been to not notice something was up. So many thoughts were swirling around my mind as I took the sheets off my bed and threw them in the wash as if I ever want to be able to sleep in that bed again I at least need to wash the sheets but honestly that didn't help. Being in my apartment just made me feel worse as I looked at every counter in the kitchen and bathroom and the sofa wondering if they had been tainted too. It was all too much and I needed to get out of there for a bit and the only place I wanted to go is to Jude's as he always knows what to do.

Despite having tears in my eyes I managed to drive to Jude's as I know the route like the back of my hand by now. When I got to the door I rang the doorbell and then just walked in as at this time Jude would know it could only be me. As I took my shoes off and tried to wipe the tears from my face I heard footsteps getting closer until I heard him say hello which instantly brought be comfort as I know he will be here for me for as long as I need to rant about what just happened. When I looked up at him he saw my face which I imagine is puffy and red with streaks of mascara down it and without saying a word he pulled me into a tight hug where I could let my emotions go. Just like every other time Jude has comforted me when I'm upset he picked me up and walked to the sofa where he sat me in his lap and gently rubbed my back to help calm me down.

"Whenever you're ready you can tell me what's wrong" he said

"He cheated on me" I said

"What?" He questioned

"I finished early and when I got home I couldn't find him even though he said he was there and then I heard moaning coming from my bedroom and there he was fucking some random girl in my bed" I ranted

"What an asshole you deserve so much better than someone who would even think of doing that" he said

"How about you stay here tonight and tomorrow we can go together to get you a new bed as you don't want to be sleeping in your current one" he said

"That sounds good but you don't have to come with me" I said

"Well I'm coming whether you like it or not" he laughed trying to lighten the mood

"Thank you Jude I really appreciate you being here for me" I said

"Of course I'll always be here for you" he said

He wiped the tears off my face before moving me off his lap and running off to the bathroom and he came back with makeup remover which he used to take all of my makeup off. He gently rubbed my face to get all of my makeup off with the cutest concentration face as he had his tongue sticking out slightly and his eyebrows furrowed as he made sure to get all of the makeup off. Once he was done he went off again but this time when he came back he had food with him as he had guessed I hadn't eaten which was true as I'd left my food on the counter at home. We turned on our favourite show which we have watched a million times but I could watch it a million more as it always cheers me up especially when I actually get to watch it with Jude.

For the next few hours Jude was just being so sweet he ordered ice cream for the both of us even though he's not supposed to eat it as he knows I like to drown my sorrows in ice cream. He also made sure I was comfortable and cozy under a blanket as he held me close to him for extra comfort. It was just like the old times before I got together with my boyfriend as we often used to have late nights together spent like this and honestly I've really missed them I've missed having Jude so close to me. As we watched the tv Jude innocently moved his arm from being around my shoulder to around my waist which I didn't mind but it sent my head spinning. For the first time in a few months I felt all my feelings for Jude come flooding back the the forefront of my mind. I'd been doing really well at burying them and moving on but after everything that happened tonight having Jude put his arm around my waist sent me spiralling again.

This whole situation is so overwhelming as I don't think at this point I'll ever truly get over my feelings for Jude but I don't feel like I can tell him. Jude means so much to me that if I told him and he didn't feel the same way I would be a mess and not just because he rejected me but because I'd have lost my best friend. There is also a problem as even if he did feel the same and we ended up dating if things didn't work out I'd still lose him. It's all just so much to think about and even though I've thought about it a million times I have still never come up with a resolution that makes me truly happy. There are times I think about just taking the leap of faith and telling him how I feel but I always talk myself out of it before I can get the words out. For me it's a big decision whether or not I want to possibly ruin a lifelong friendship over some stupid feelings or not which is why I'm often thinking about it.

"What are you thinking about?" Jude asked which brought me out of my spiral

"Oh nothing" I replied

"Come on just tell me you know you can tell me anything" he said

"Not this" I whispered under my breath

"Why can't you tell me this what secrets are you keeping from me?" He asked jokingly

In that split second I had a decision to make I either tell him how I feel and hope for the best or come up with another lie which I have to keep up with. At this point I have so many lies or stories I've told when I've chickened out of telling Jude how I feel that I've had to write them down so I can refer back to them when necessary. I feel like I need to stop being so afraid and just go for it, take a risk and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

"I have feelings for you" I blurted out

"What" he questioned

"I have feelings for you Jude and I have for years and I just can't live without telling you anymore" I said

"I know it's a lot to spring on you and I get if you don't want to be friends anymore I just couldn't keep my feelings hidden any longer" I rambled

"I have feelings for you too" Jude interrupted me

"Wait you do" I said

"Yeah I mean how could I not you're so beautiful and such a kind person I just never thought you would feel the same so I never said anything" he explained

I didn't really know how to respond as I honestly didn't think he'd feel to same so it took me by surprise. Knowing Jude felt the same way gave me a boost in confidence so instead of saying anything I just leant in and kissed him. Despite being friends for years and playing many games of truth or dare Jude and I have never kissed before so this was completely new for us both. It took Jude a second to realise what was happening but when he did he kissed me right back and even put a hand behind my neck to pull me in closer. The kiss was amazing it was even better than I imagined it would be which is truly something as I have thought about this moment a lot. It was as if time came to a stand still as we seemed to be kissing forever but when we finally pulled apart it had only been a few minutes.

We looked into each others eyes once we stopped kissing and Jude gently swept a piece of my hair behind my ear before then leaving his hand on my cheek. I could've stayed like that forever but sadly that can't happen as we both have lives to live and we also need to talk about what we are now as we can't stay just friends after that.

"What are we now?" I asked

"I'd love for you to be my girlfriend but I know you just broke up with your boyfriend so we can go slowly if that's what you want" Jude said

"I'd love to be your girlfriend but promise me that if things don't work out we can still try and be friends" I said

"Of course my love I couldn't bare not having you in my life in some way" he said

"So will you be my girlfriend?" He asked

"Of course I will" I replied

[kimbappykidding]

Your relationship with Yeonjun ends abruptly when he cheats on you with your member but neither of you can quite move on from one another

 Even though it had been almost 4 months since you'd broken up, Yeonjun still froze every time he saw you. It did get better the more times he saw you in a day but the first time always got him.

While you didn't freeze every time you saw Yeonjun and the pain had lessened considerably, you did think of him and still missed him which made you mad at yourself every time. You also still found him attractive too which didn't help. You pretty obviously had a type and the only other guys you found attractive looked like him. You watched him performing during his latest comeback and sighed, he always knew how to work a stage. The problem was this wasn't a normal breakup where you just lost touch or were going down different paths. No, this break-up was caused by the ultimate betrayal between Yeonjun and one of your own members.

You weren't too close to your members before but Yeonjun and Ari's actions had ruined everything. You always felt slightly left out of your group being the only foreign member but any relationship you did have with was made worse by how most of your group took her side. They, of course, were sympathetic at first but they liked her more than you so encouraged you to think of the group and to remember it was just a kiss. You wanted to scream when they said that because it wasn't just a kiss. The image was still ingrained in your mind all this time later. Of the two of them together, her in his lap and how his hands held her hips as they moved together. It probably would've progressed to more if you hadn't walked in on them. The aftermath was the worst time of your life. Your only support system was your fellow Thai Idols and if it wasn't for Lisa and Minnie you're not sure what would've happened to you or what you would've done. You only had a year until your contract ended and then you were gone. In your mind, you were done with singing and music. It had been your passion since you were a child but now you wanted nothing to do with it, you just wanted to be alone. The company was trying to sweeten you up by giving you a solo and all the creative input possible but you just wanted out. Yeonjun knew how much he'd hurt you and he hated it. His actions with Ari had been his worst moment too and he tried punishing himself but there was nothing he could do to make it hurt less. So when you dumped him he didn't fight it, he did everything so you wouldn't have to see his face or have people ask you about him. He encouraged his members, who of course were friends with you after 2 years of dating, to still be there for you. However, you told Beomgyu you'd prefer not to see any of them for a while and that broke Yeonjun. Not only had he ruined your life he'd also broken 4 friendships. Time passed and Yeonjun had no idea how you were doing. He'd left you alone and avoided your group like the plague but recently he'd been thinking a lot about you. There was some drama with his family and he didn't know what to do. Your family was similar to Yeonjun's and you always got his feelings and understood his thinking. So he desperately wanted to discuss it all with you but of course, he couldn't. Soobin noticed Yeonjun had been down a lot recently and Yeonjun explained the situation. "Just when I think me hurting Y/n can't get any worse things like this pop up and I realise how much she was there for me. I'd give anything to talk to her about this" he sighed and Soobin frowned "well what if you asked her?".  Yeonjun's heart picked up "but I can't! After what I did to her how can I ask for help?". Soobin nodded "I know but this is about your family who she always cared a lot about. Plus, you want to be friends with her again don't you?". "More than anything" Yeonjun nodded and Soobin nodded "well then you'll have to make a first step sometime. Test the waters, be very clear she doesn't have to respond to you and can ignore you. Ask her permission and be as compensating as possible. Don't ask to meet up, give her the choice to just text if she wants to but I'd say try". Yeonjun sighed but nodded. He was terrified but he trusted Soobin, so he wrote the text and sent it. You looked at your phone and saw a name you hadn't seen in 5 months since he stopped texting you. You were on the phone with Lisa in seconds. You sent her a screenshot of the text and she read it in silence.  "What are you feeling?" she asked. "Angry" you replied "after all he's done he expects emotional labour? Someone to sound ideas off and comfort him?". Lisa nodded "I agree but he did give you multiple chances to say no. I know he sent the text anyway so there's still some emotional collateral but you don't have to reply. You can delete this and he knows". You sighed "should I do that? I should right?". Lisa frowned "Look I hate his guys but I'm only saying this because I think you're too scared too...you miss him and I know you worry about him and still care for his family. You're a good person and I know you'll torment yourself with worry about him if you don't atleast text him back". You nodded "I want to text him back and that makes me hate myself". Lisa shook her head "don't...you can't help it. Plus it's just a text. It doesn't mean you've forgiven him or are condoning his action  It doesn't mean anything". You nodded and took a breath "okay help me write a reply". Nearly an hour later Yeonjun received a reply and he actually gasped. "What?" Taehyun asked and he smiled "Y/n texted me back!". "That's great" Huening Kai smiled and the younger members started getting excited. Yeonjun shook his head "don't do that. She's still sad, I can tell by her message and she's only agreed to help me because of my parents". "But still it's something" Beomgyu said and Yeonjun nodded "yeah it is". You only sent Yeonjun 3 texts but they did drain you and brought up a lot of old memories. It didn't help that you were also working on your solo which happened to be a sad ballad at the time. It helped in that every note you sang was so raw and honest but that didn't make you feel much better. Your members all went quiet when they first heard it and you knew why. They all knew you were signing every single note to Yeonjun and Ari and you didn’t care to try and hide it. The first time you performed it live they were both there in the audience and you felt your emotions take over. They surged out of you through your voice and you gave the most emotional and powerful performance of your life. 

You hit the final note and the stage went black. The audience screamed and other idols clapped along, many female idols had glossy eyes that they tried to hide and all your idol friends were wiping away tears. Ten was stood up clapping, Lisa looked furious on your behalf and Minnie who happened to be behind TxT was screaming loudly for you. But through it all, you only saw Yeonjun. He was staring at you and when you locked eyes he looked so ashamed and shocked. Like he never quite realised what he'd done to you. You held his eye for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and quickly fixing a smile on your face. You waved to your fans and made your way off stage as if it didn't feel like you were crumbling. You figured you just had to act like that wasn't the biggest moment of your career and should pretend as if nothing happened.

But Yeonjun didn't feel that way. He made an excuse to the staff and rushed backstage to find you. He knocked on your dressing room door and you opened it not expecting to find him there. "Y/n...I need to speak to you" he said. You knew Yeonjun and if he didn't say whatever was on his mind he'd probably explode so you let him in. Luckily he got right to the point.  "Y/n I know I hurt you but I never knew I made you feel that way...I'm so sorry". You blinked at him unsure what to do or say. For so long you thought if he just knew how you felt and apologised you'd be at peace but you weren't. The sorry felt redundant now but it still hurt. So you just shrugged "it happened, it's over now". Yeonjun frowned "but you're still hurting. I can tell, I know you remember". You rolled your eyes "you don't get to tell me you know me!" you said sharply and Yeonjun raised his hands "you're right! I'm sorry. All I meant is I can see in your eyes you aren't happy. You nodded "of course I'm not for so many reasons! You cheated on me for one, with one of my members! A person I have to see practically every day so try healing from that. You put an immovable wedge between me and all my members. A wedge I just made a chasm by singing that solo. A solo everyone loves by the way which is great but also so fucking sad because it's about the worst time in my life and I re-live it every time I sing those words...and the worst part is through all of that I still care about you...and miss you and wonder about you". Yeonjun stared at you unsure what to do. Hearing you still cared about him made him want to leap for joy but the tears running from your cheeks made him realise this wasn't a good thing. "You ruined me Yeonjun" you said softly "and I don't think I'll ever recover from that". Yeonjun frowned "I'm so sorry Y/n" tears filled his own eyes "there's not a day that goes by where I don't regret what I did to you or hate myself for it. I'd take it all back in a heartbeat and I still care about you too. I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you and all I can say is I'm sorry". You were crying fully now and Yeonjun's instinct to try and hug you won out. He gently put his arms around you and while at first, you were rigid the moment you smelt his scent you couldn't help it. You were soon crying into his shirt and couldn't stop yourself. You just felt so overwhelmed and your brain was confused, unsure if Yeonjun was still safe or not after all those years of him being your support system. You were too tired to remember to be angry. You were just sad. You stopped crying a while later and Yeonjun sat beside you. He'd given you his jacket at some point and you had some water. You'd been crying so hard you now had hiccups and were trying to get them to stop. "Do you want me to take you home?" Yeonjun asked "or I can order you a taxi if you'd rather not be with me?". You just wanted to go home so you shook your head "let's go". Yeonjun nodded and rushed to grab his stuff. You drove in silence until Yeonjun pulled up outside your apartment. "I know talking about it is painful but I think it could also help you get closure. I know I'm the last person you want to hear this from but I'm worried about you Y/n. You're very pale and skinny, your eyes look tired and if your members are a problem then that's not good for your stress levels. If I can be one less problem I'll do it so if you need me to stand there while you scream or to send angry message then do it". You nodded slightly "I think I need closure and there's one thing that always bugged me...why?". Yeonjun paused as the question he'd always been dreading finally came up. "Why did you cheat on me?" you asked "you always told me it was a mistake you regretted but never explained why you did it in the first place". Yeonjun sighed "it just kind of happened. It had building I guess, Ari used to flirt with me and I'd flirt back encouraging her. I thought there was nothing wrong with it but then it became way too normal and we both got bolder and then that happened. I never planned on doing anything, she was just there and I was tired and lonely it just happened". You weren't sure what you were expecting, some reasonable excuse but that was your answer. He was tired. You almost laughed. "Well let's hope you're on a better sleep schedule now" you replied and got out of the car. You walked away and felt something shift in the universe. Things were about to change. One year later Yeonjun watched you on stage and couldn't believe you were the same person as before. You'd left your company the second you could and hadn't looked back. You signed up at a new company and seemed to be thriving. You performed your song on stage to a screaming crowd and idols singing along. Your debut solo song had done really well and you'd already won 2 awards for it. You looked so much better. You were back to a healthy weight and your smile didn't seem forced anymore. You looked happy and that pleased Yeonjun. That's all he wanted for you. He saw you again that night sandwiched between G-Idle and BlackPink. Yeonjun had noticed how pretty much all the girl groups and several of the boy groups had become friends with you and as you walked several called out to you. Then you paused as you spotted him at the bar. You hesitated and Yeonjun shook his head "you go I'll go later" he said and went to back away but you shook your head. You walked right up to him and took a breath "I need to tell you something". Yeonjun nodded and looked at your expectantly. "I forgive you" you said and Yeonjun's eyes widened "really?". You nodded "I'm in a much better place than last year and I've decided to let go of any of those bad memories or pain. I'm not saying what you did was right...that's not what forgiveness is, but I choose to let go now". Yeonjun nodded "thank you and I'm really happy to see you doing so well. You look...well happy". You nodded "I am, for the first time in nearly 2 years I am". Yeonjun smiled "that's great, you deserve it all". You nodded and moved away. "You okay?" Soobin asked, having observed the whole thing and Yeonjun nodded. For the first time since your breakup, he let out a deep breath he'd been holding because you were okay. You'd recovered from what he'd done to you and his worst fear of him causing you irredeemable damage hadn't come true. You were stronger than the bad he'd done to you. Yeonjun would always carry the weight of what he'd done to you but he was so happy you'd recovered. It was a relief and something he'd always be grateful for. He loved seeing you smile and you were truly thriving, enough to even repair some old friendships. About a month later Yeonjun came back from the bathroom to hear a familiar but sorely missed sound. You laughing. He saw you chatting with Soobin and Huening Kai. You must've somehow found each other at this kpop event and got talking. Soobin said something and Huening hid behind you as you argued back jokingly. He watched the scene and smiled to see you doing so well but then he paused. He felt a much more familiar pang of regret realising this not being normal was all his fault. He'd never gotten over you or been able to move on and he was fairly sure he never would. As if sensing his thoughts Soobin looked up and spotted him. You followed his gaze and met Yeonjun's eye. His breath paused but then you smiled softly and gestured for him to come over. He felt so surprised but also joyful and hurried over. "Hey" he said trying to act casual "what's Soobin done wrong now". Soobin mocked gasped and Huening giggled. You smiled "he was just teasing Huening for his plushies" you told him "he threatened to throw some away". Yeonjun laughed "that would be like torture to Huening!". You nodded "that's what I said" and laughed before you seemed to realise what you were doing. "Well it was really great seeing you again, good night" you called and walked away. Once you'd gone both boys turned to Yeonjun. "You both just stood and had a conversation!" Soobin said. Yeonjun nodded "I know...and it felt amazing". After that, you had several more chats with TxT and Yeonjun. You'd nod to each other at award shows and talk behind the scenes. Yeonjun would sometimes find your friends watching or glaring at him as you did but that was okay. He was so grateful you had them and all they'd done for you so they had the right to be angry at him long after you'd forgiven him. The more he was around you the more he realised he still had feelings for you and that they weren't going anywhere. He hadn't dated anyone in nearly 2 years since you'd broken up and honestly he'd never even thought about it. He knew you were the love of his life and he figured he'd wrecked all of that but now you were talking again he wasn't sure. You still fit together so well and the last time you'd run into each other went to get a coffee and stayed talking for hours. The way you looked at him gave Yeonjun hope things weren't over and so he kept a watchful eye for any hint from you, that you might want something more. When he got it at a party where the two of you found yourselves outside together all night, he went for it. "Y/n I...I never stopped loving you" Yeonjun said and your breath caught in your throat. Yeonjun carried on "I still love you and I know after everything I've got some nerve even asking but is there any way you could give me a second chance? I've learned my mistake I promise, I just want you back". Your heart was hammering in your chest and your brain hurt with all the thoughts processing. When a while passed and you didn't reply Yeonjun prompted you "Y/n?". You took a breath "sorry I just need a minute...I don't know what the smartest thing for me to do is". Yeonjun nodded "I know your brain is probably screaming at you to tell me to suck it but I swear Y/n I will never hurt you like that again. You can trust me and I will prove that to you every single day". You sighed "see I believe you mean that but what if that changes? You never set out to hurt me the first time but Yeonjun I almost didn't survive this. I'm not sure I can take a second one". Yeonjun shook his head "me either which is why you can trust me. I know how badly I messed up and it was the worst time of my life. So no matter what happens I will never let things get that bad. I'll be open and honest with you throughout. Please just give me a chance to show you". You looked at him "please don't hurt me again" and Yeonjun broke. He rushed forward and cradled you against him. "Never" he said kissing your forehead tenderly before looking into your eyes "does this mean...?". His voice wavered and you saw the emotion in his eyes so you nodded. "I still love you too" and you kissed him. Yeonjun had literally dreamed of this scenario for so long that it didn't feel real. He kissed you back, his brain unable to process if his wildest dream was really happening. You were giving him a second chance! When you pulled away you were both laughing and crying at the same time. "I won't let you down Y/n, I swear it" Yeonjun said concentrating so hard he was frowning and you smiled "I know, I trust you" and you did. You could feel the truth in Yeonjun's words and could also feel something else. You weren't sure what it was but something was telling you this was the right thing to do and that your struggles with Yeonjun were over. Your future together was going to be bright. _______

Just to clarify I am in no way saying cheating is something Yeonjun would do! I just wanted to explore a sad storyline with Yeonjun :) 

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

Stay

Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] sorry for the lack of posts for valen-cries I’m still working on my requests but I thought I’d finish this wip. Also if it wasn't obvious this is a songfic based on stay by Colorblind

[warnings!] self deprecation, metaphorical abuse? Implication of drugs but not actually taking any cause it’s also metaphorical. Its just angsty and ambiguous, feel free to interpret the ending how you wish.

Valen-cries masterlist available here!

Abuse me, I like the punishment

You keep me focused, I don't need no Ritalin

I like when you keep me guessing, its alright

Its alright

It was only supposed to be one night but one night turned into two., two to three until there were too many to count. It had started with just some light flirting and the odd touch yet it quickly became so much more, so much so that you weren’t sure where you stood anymore. 

Steve was so persuasive with his sweet whispers and cheeky looks, how could you refuse? It didn’t help that you had a major crush on him back in high school and the moment he’d so much as looked your way, you’d fallen again. 

How pathetic, here you were fighting off your feelings for a guy who only ever saw you as a fuck buddy. Just another toy to warm his bed like numerous others before you, as if you even stood a chance. However, saying that you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Can we turn our feelings off?

I need you baby, just for one night,

One night

He’d call at the same time every night you spent apart, his gravely voice sending chills down your spine in the silence of your bedroom, where the boundaries of friendship and romance blurred across the distance. Some nights you’d talk for hours and hours, others simply bask in each others silence finding the need for words overrated.

In the darkness of the night you’d find yourself tracing over the freckles and faint scars that kissed his skin, trying to memorise every inch of him as if he would disappear at any second. If you could contain this memory forever you would, alas that would only make the pain harder when you inevitably parted.

I know what you’re looking for,

You make it feel like its the first time, every time

Every time

Coming down from the high was always difficult, doubt crippling you as you lay cold and empty. You tell yourself it will be the last time and it never is, the unhealthy hold he has over you enticing you back again and again. Unsure of wether you could do this anymore and chest tightening with every breath, what other choice was there but to run?

I don't really wanna fight right now,

I don't really see the point right now,

And if the love wasn’t real enough what the hell we gonna do when the truth comes out?

Steve wasn’t really one for commitment, you both knew that, so why did it hurt so much watching you leave each time? Would you stay if he asked? Or were you only in it for the sex? He had no right to ask, his reputation made sure of that but that didn’t stop the conflicting feelings threatening to spill with your presence. 

I’d rather start it on a blank page,

I think I like it with a new face

You dont wanna wait for me, its safe to be

Stuck inside this place where we keep faking things,

Running in circles looking for an end that didn’t exist seemed pointless but anything was easier than confronting your feelings, even uncertainty felt more stable than the mess you were floating in, head barley above water and still refusing to swim. You hadn’t realised that in the ocean of your mind Steve had been searching for you, begging you to stay afloat with him. 

I think you’re finally breaking me,

The way it seems you’re making me,

Stay 

[bullet-prooflove]

Hiya. I have an ask for Scott Forrester. 🍃 The prompt is: #12 “I’d go to the corner in the back. Where you’d always be and there you are, sittin’ as usual.” Thank you so much.

References to upcoming fic: When in Rome

There’s a place you go, one that you think no one else knows about. It’s a reading room in Szabó Ervin Central Library, one with high ornate ceilings decorated in cream with gold fittings, extravagant chandeliers hang from the ceiling, illuminating dark polished wood and plush leather seats.

It’s breathtaking the amount of beauty in this room, the complexity of the architecture, the history in this place. Scott understands why you come here. It’s a haven from the world outside, somewhere so abstract from the brutality you see that you can’t help but be drawn to it.

There’s specific place you like to sit, a comfortable chair tucked into the corner alongside the window that looks out into the gardens. He remembers the first time he saw you there, the sun steaming in through the window casting a dulcet glow across your features, a book resting in your lap. It was the first time he realised how deep his feelings truly ran, that he wanted more than the easy friendship you had fallen into.

There’s a trepidation in his chest as he approaches your spot, it thrums through his nerves as he takes purposeful strides towards the back of the room. This is the third day in a row he’s come here, the third day in a row he’s found your seat empty.

He doesn’t know why he expected any different. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result and here he is doing exactly that. He sighs as he sits down in the chair across from yours, his palms rubbing over his weary features.

You haven’t spoken to him since the night you’d let yourself into his apartment and found Jamie in his bed, her clothes strewn out across his floor. He’d never told you about the two of them, that they used to fuck before you came along. He hadn’t realised that anything was wrong until Jamie had called him.

“I didn’t know.” She had told him. “I didn’t realise you were serious about seeing other people.”

He doesn’t know if that’s true or not. He doesn’t care.

There hasn’t been another woman since that night in Rome, he doubts there ever will be, because the way he feels about you…

Well he wants to tell you but you’ve vanished like a ghost, disappearing from his life as if you were never there.

He stares at the vacant seat, it’s emptiness. He knows what it means.

It’s the reason your cell is out of service and you’re not answering the door to your apartment.

You’d been offered an assignment by your boss that day, one that would have taken you out of Scott’s sphere for a while. The two of you were supposed to meet at his place that night to discuss it, figure things out. He’d been running late, tying up a few loose ends, he’d given you his key, told you to make yourself at home.

He’d been willing to make a commitment that night, ask you to stay.

But instead you’ve left him behind.

He tries to ignore the ache in his chest as he raises to his feet, tucking his hands into his pocket.

You’re gone and there isn’t a single thing he can do to bring you back.

Love Scott? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

@@a-noni-love @district447 @soultrysworld @kmc1989

[thatanimewriter]

GUARDED.

➳ request: May I please request headcanons for the Style Five falling in love with a snarky woman who's cynical about love and relationships due to being betrayed and abandoned?

➳ character/s: nanase haruka, tachibana makoto, hazuki nagisa, ryugazaki rei, matsuoka rin

➳ warnings: swearing, anxiety/panic attacks (rin)

➳ notes: MMMMMMMMM some lovely self projection for me-

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭  / 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 / 𝐰𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

──  𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐔𝐊𝐀.

honestly, kinda same-

he’s not usually interested in much ROMANCE either

because he’s aloof and unaware

for a while, he thought you guys were on the same page

it was chill, easy to get along

and then the topic of romance came up one time cause nagisa asked

an inward :(( when you said you thought they were a waste of time and that your partner will inevitably leave you, so don’t bother trying

also an inward “who hurt you???”

tried to get closer to you to figure it out 

it does work, because you thought he was similar in thinking 

but he failed to account for the fact that he’d fall in love with you while getting to know you-

so... he’s in a lil bit of a predicament

any advances he thought about making, he just assumed you’d shut him down

but if he didn’t make any moves, then he was worried you thought he didn’t care about you

so how does he find the middle ground???

started with smiles, which you found to be incredibly bonding, because bitch doesn’t smile around anyone else other than makoto

and when he told you he felt free around you

you just knew what he meant

to his surprise, you accepted (after years of friendship) and his weird cryptic way of saying “I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU >:((” worked

the happiest you’ve ever seen him in your life

but honestly, it’s the happiest he’s ever seen you and he wanted to take a photo to keep forever

──  𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐎𝐓𝐎.

i can fix themmm

he wouldn’t say it like that

but his motive is genuinely the whole ‘they deserve love, i’ll show them love’

he noticed you were kinda icky with love

and he thought it was just the usual sorta “love is gross, i’d rather die alone” type of thing

but then he slowly started figuring out that there was another reason

and he felt the intense urge to try to show you that not everyone will rip your heart out if you date them

it was normal for makoto to be sweet, but you were kinda weirded out when he didn’t stop after a week

people aren’t like this, at least the people you’ve been with aren’t

you warmed up to him eventually because you realised makoto had not a single bad bone in his body

and the first time you smiled at him for real, he was a goner

soul has left the building because it just suits you so much, it’s cute ;v;

he continued to act normal because you’d only just gotten used to him being nice

and he wanted to gradually get you used to being cared for, because only then did he think he could confess and you would take it seriously

when you found that out, you were very shocked, but also it was touching

you asked him why it took so long if it’d been years of pining and then just stood in silence by his answer

he could see the gears turning in your head and he was a bit worried you’d reject him

but you gently took his hand in yours awkwardly

because a healthy relationship is new and super foreign to you

but it’s ok

he’ll wait for you no matter what :))

──  𝐇𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐈 𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐒𝐀.

he doesn’t realise

he’s oblivious to this fact

he just knows he wants to give you all his love

and he never took your initial rejection to heart

because haru’s like that too

until he saw you practically death staring this couple across the yard

and he asked about it because he has no filter

gave you a big hug when you said somethin really negative about love and relationships

probably cried for you

that probably gave you a bit of a wake up call because no ex of yours had felt that much empathy in their lives

you got closer after that because that sure was a way to show that someone cared-

and nagisa is a very touchy person, so he inevitably got you used to the feeling of being loved again by total accident

he never showed it

but he was nervous to confess to you in case you’d rope him in with your ex or exes

he wanted you to know he was there for you and he wasn’t going to leave any time soon

but his impulse control is so small he ended up blurting it out anyway

you looked at him like ._.

and he just stared back like :))

he reached into his bag and gave you a little plushie that you knew he had that you’d said you really liked

and that was when you knew he was serious serious because he GAVE YOU HIS PLUSHIE???

also you have no clue how nagisa managed to get into your life so much, but you wouldn’t take it back for anything

──  𝐑𝐘𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐊𝐈 𝐑𝐄𝐈.

love is INCOMPREHENSIBLE to him

so while you’re closed off

he’s just having his first ever crush and he doesn’t know what to do-

of course he picked up on the fact you werent a fan of romance

but he thought it was more of an “i don’t need to see y’all make out in front of me” 

and less of a “relationships are nothing but pain and misery.”

awkward blinking

because he’s had absolutely no romantic involvement with anyone, and now he’s got a bit of a challenge

mission: make you believe in love again while also try to figure it out for himself has begun

anddddddd

he’s confused

your colder opinions of love really struck something in him for whatever reason

a lot of it in a way helped him realise that you’d been majorly hurt before

and he knew he wasn’t the most romantic person, so a lot of research had to be done to make you understand his feelings were genuine

it didn’t go the way he wanted to though

he borrowed books from the library about romance

they were very clinical, but the thought was there

and then you caught him reading them and you were about to ask what they were for until you saw one about abusive and toxic relationships

and you knew what they were for, or rather, who they were for

rei was very embarrassed and was going to ask if you would accept his feelings, but you quickly pecked his cheek and promptly ran away

guess he got his answer (he was smiling like a madman the rest of the day)

──  𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐎𝐊𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐍.

well suck it up, i guess

that’s not gonna stop him

he’ll continue to shove himself where he doesn’t belong until he inadvertently belongs 

found your thoughts about romance really weird

because as much as he’s such an edgelord, he’s a hopeless romantic

he wants to fall in love, do cutesy things like stargaze on the roof of his house, cuddle

because lord knows he needs the cuddles

so he just gave you cuddles to maybe make you feel better about romance

which was an odd move considering you weren’t dating and weren’t even on first name basis

and he wasn’t shocked at your negative reaction to the affection

but at the same time he was like >:(((( at the person or people who made you like this

and he also felt the intense need to be the one who would prove you wrong

this was now a COMPETITION

he was gonna fucking DESTROY your ex or exes (metaphorically) 

and he was gonna be the one to show you what love actually is

he had planned a massive thing to confess to you, but guess what the bitch did when you got there

he cried.

bawled his eyes out while telling you everything he loves about you and everything he feels about you

it was funny in hindsight, but you also cried because you just weren’t expecting the honesty

you gave him a hug first after he finished

and that’s how you got roped into a cuddling session on the school lawns-

[keira-kaz2y5]

Ok so finally found the time to watch episodes 7x02 - 7x04 with my mum. (I’ve already seen them all at least twice, this was her first watch)

The whole episode I was kinda nervous but super excited.

Can I mention again here that she previously did not ship buddie at all, said me and people these days are “always making things gay when they’re not” and said they were “just friends” and the Ravi Buck Eddie sewer call she reiterated this statement saying “see? They’re just good friends” after buck’s clear jealously, which, fair. Yk it can def be seen as friendship— unless you’re open to the fact characters are allowed to be queer and not stated, and also that he’s been played as bisexual since s1 with sooooo much TEXT and SUBTEXT abt it—

When it finally got to the loft apartment scene I was shocked it had come round so quick (I swear that episode felt longer when I watched it alone), and immediately I felt my heart beating a lot faster in anticipation. At the buck Tommy kiss, to my surprise she reacted by grinning wide smiling like in disbelief and stayed like this until they pulled away and we saw buck’s reaction then she sorta manic laughed at buck’s “that works” I think out of disbelief and shock and amusement at buck’s starstruck reaction, “… Saturday? 🥹🤩”and his joke about fake mouth static.

Then as Tommy was walking out and talking about a date my mum said “that’s gonna make.. Eddie, really… mad.” (She was distracted listening to the rest of the scene and dialog)

😆 so her initial reaction was soooo much better than I’d expected/feared!! (From here it turns into kinda a trauma dump with 911 about I realised I’m so so so repressed.. read at ur own risk lol!)

But then of course I went and fucked it up by getting too excited and blabbing.

(I voice memo recorded this whole scene to get her reaction) she asked me about how “so he’s (buck) saying he thought he was jealous but it wasn’t of Eddie it was of him (Tommy).” And I sorta spiralled saying yeh because that’s how he saw it in that moment because he’s trying to figure out what these new feelings are and who they’re for etc and went down the rabbit hole of Tommy being gay from the start (army, ‘begins’ episodes..) and so on and my mum heard like 4 seconds of this and stood up and collected dishes and stuff and walked away saying I was getting too much into it (fair, my adhd does tend to make me mentally jump subjects fairly quickly in ways it doesn’t make sense to other people)

But she never really has healthy conversations with me about queerness, don’t get me wrong I love my mum and she isn’t like throwing me on the street for saying I’m bisexual, but she also isn’t exactly having healthy conversations about it with me either. She prefers to avoid the conversation a lot and stay silent about it, so the repression is real and tbh I didn’t even realise how repressed I was until about 3rd December 2023 I saw a picture of two women kissing and I fully went “oh shit I’m bisexual, I almost forgot I liked women”. Yeh. The repression is so real.

I then went on a Pinterest spiral downloading women photos and made an album on photos app to put it all in so that I had that place to go to and look and I would never be so repressed that I forgot again. I have since been much happier and more queer and open within myself

(For reference this is the picture)

(This is the photo album - not my photos, all from Pinterest)

(Note: I am a teenage girl)

And the only other time I realised I was repressing it, was on holiday with my auntie that I see like once a year, when she teased me about a girl I’d spoken to from a street vender thing and I realised that “oh this is normal” like, families should tease me and be comfortable about it. (Although they don’t tease me about boys much either so..)

Because my family never feel so open about my sexuality to be that comfortable. Whenever the subject comes up it turns into almost an argument because they think I only think I’m gay because I hung out with two lgbt girls for 3, 4 years and they were my only close friends.

Apparently the gay is contagious 🤣

My Nan is homophobic, she’s “of a different generation” apparently and can’t change. She’s not super bad about it but does make comments like “it’s wrong” so I never really talk about it. My brother had the “my friend is gay so i can’t be homophobic” mentality, and also believes like my mum that im only bisexual because of my old friends.

But fr they don’t say it’s a phase specifically but they sort of play it off like one saying I only “think that” because of them (my friends at the time — who I’m not even friends with anymore)

And one time watching the hen and Karen begins episode with the nasa lab explosion- when we get that make out scene between them, my mum laughed and said she was uncomfortable because it just looked “unnatural” and I know she said this because they were a bit fumbly in the scene, knocking things over and kicking off shoes and both plus sized women, but that reaction has just stuck with me since. Because it’s still a beautiful moment and yes they look different to typical people making out but it’s still sexy and a vibe but also I am a plus sized woman, so yes that could be my future. Another time before this when there were some HenRen scenes in bed my mum said to me “is that what you wanna do, cuddle up to some woman in bed like that 🤨” and I was sooo unprepared for that question and sorta went ‘uh yeh no yeh but not like them two because Hen isn’t my type yk but yes’ and she went 🧐 hm ok 🤷‍♀️

These things have stuck with me

And also when I had a therapist last year the one time I mentioned being bisexual and she that’s something we should talk about I completely shut her down and said it’s fine nothing to talk about and looking back… man I was repressed. Like dayum.

And now I realise I have so much to say.

And the tipping point for all this, is the bi Buck canon, of course. Only 3 days ago but feels like a lifetime already, just the portrayal and the delivery and perfection and sentiment of it all hits so hard, especially the fan reactions, but also actor and director and journalist reactions and everything Tim has had to say on it including Oliver and Ryan interviews. And it’s made me so emotional about it all, I can’t even express how genuinely happy to my core i was the first 2 days every second, and I was dancing around my kitchen, grinning every 3 minutes when I remembered… it was bliss. I felt so seen and happy and loved, appreciated and respected and represented. It’s unreal. Especially the joy and care Oliver has given this.. i can’t explain. It’s so validating.

Within myself I feel much more at peace, and I have realised that in fact I was repressed, and still kinda am.

So bringing it back to the start was that after watching this with my mum I tried to express to her how much this means and the backstory and what’s going on online about it with the directors and actors and everything but I hardly even said a thing and she kept saying how “it’s just a show” “it’s 9-1-1!” “You’re getting too much into this/too attached” even when I tried explaining how queer storylines is something we have to search for to watch in media, and how this will change media from now on and the representation.. she kept walking away, trying to change the subject and invalidating it all saying stuff like

“it’s just a series! You act like it’s a real person!” “You do, you get carried away with it.” “Ok Keira 🙄🚶‍♀️.. yeh! You’re just getting a little far-fucking-fetched” “right… Keira.” “It’s just a show!” Me: “It’s more than a show.” “In your head it is.” “You’re just going on”

Bear in mind I wasn’t actually going into depth, I was stating how this is a big thing and said literally what I’ve written here, like this is 30 seconds of me talking. Because I wanted to have a healthy conversation about it all, but clearly it didn’t work and i should’ve just been happy with the smile reaction and left it at that.

I tried directly pointing out the problem, too, saying that she never wants to have a healthy conversation with me about it all, to which she replied the “it’s just a show/you’re getting too much into it” part and when I addressed that this family is slightly a little bit homophobic but none of them will admit it she was laughing and going “it’s 9-1-1! It’s 9-1-1!” “(I) make it out into some big drama” (I wasn’t raising my voice or anything I just wanted to have a conversation about it with her, she was the one raising her pitch) and how I’m “just taking it all to another level!” Me:‘Because it is at another level, this is so huge for the industry and the queer community’ “oh god, Keira.. you make such big dramas out of it,” (me literally not being dramatic at all, just wanting a nice discussion about this and both the reactions of fans/non-fans/people, how it’s done so well—compared to other storylines and shows— and the impact this will have on so many things) my mum:… “you always twist me to make it out that I’m some horrible person” to which I responded “well no, because you’re not but you could be more healthy about it, you always laugh it off or change/avoid the subject” (me talking about queerness in general, not 9-1-1, to which she replied) “nanna gets like this over Coronation Street! And I just don’t understand! It’s just a show.”

These quotes she said are direct because I audio recorded everything. Probably not in the right order bc the explanation is a little messy what can I say it’s adhd like I said 💅😵‍💫🤷‍♀️😅

Yeh so I guess this is turning into some Reddit thing like AITA am I the asshole for wanting a healthy conversation and for my family to be more comfortable about queerness in general as well as my own (bi)sexuality but also it’s just me expressing how tonight went to anyone who’s stayed to read this. Maybe I should go back into therapy. It’s just my old therapist I never really told her the deep things but also finding someone new that works with me is expensive and exhausting. So it’s been a hard night but I will still rewatch the scene to find happiness in it all again. I just want to wait until I’ve slept it off so I can be fresh and remember the happiness and validity I felt on friday & sat

[calico8angel]

you hurt me so much.

when i needed someone the most, you WEREN’T there. surrounded by a cloud of your own ignorance and ego, you were too focused on yourself and my own perception of you being ‘better’ than me to notice how much i started to hate you. to resent you. years of pent up inferiority started to spill out the cracks and alongside my mental health struggles, i couldn’t take it anymore.

at one point i loved you. platonically. you were one of the closest people to me. suddenly it hurt me to hear your name and see your face. i scrubbed my phone and belongings clean of everything to do with you. i was disappointed in you. i was disappointed in myself for how much i cared about our friendship.

sometimes i’m glad i still don’t have those text messages. it was a tuesday or thursday afternoon 2 years ago, just getting home from school and strawn out lazily in my uniform on the couch. she’d told me one of her biggest secrets that i had no intention of ever wanting to know about. i wonder if i’d still feel the way i do if she would’ve never told me. she said alot of rude things to me that day, shrugged off by me making my usual jokes; ignoring the sour taste in my mouth, upset at the way i’d let her talk to me out of desperation in not hurting her feelings. we never talked about it again.

i still don’t know if she used the secret as an excuse to start isolating me from us. making me feel like the odd one out (a common theme in my life) or if i just didn’t see it until after that day. i cried alot. i hated myself. the gnawing at my gut everytime we were together didn’t leave for a year or two. i don’t know if i hate her for it.

there were alot of unspoken things you didn’t know about and i resented you for it.

naively, i thought the absence of most would make me feel better! and it was good at first! but i saw everything. i knew the truth.

we’re not friends anymore. and its weird to say i love not being your friend, but i do. it made me realise i don’t need to seek worth and validation from those that i feel close to. it also made me realise that there are amazing people in this world who’ll love and care about me in ways i never imagined! i have double the amount of contacts in my phone and double the amounts of smiles on my face. this summer is the first one that i’m excited for in a long time!!!!

in a weird way, i hope you see this. i hope you still stalk me like you said you did. i hope you see how great i feel without you in my life. i want you to know that i heavily want nothing to do with you. the thoughts and words i’m too nice to call you.

you probably wouldn’t know what any of this even means. think we’re not friends for the bullshit excuse i came up with months ago. it’s weird that i even write this because i honestly don’t think about you. i completely forgot why i didn’t like you, only remembering the uncomfortable feelings of my past.

and its weird to say that i wholeheartedly do forgive you. for something you didn’t even realise you did. for an apology which was for something so minuscule that i find so funny and bizarre you even apologised for. and i did, in fact, think you are quite stupid! one thing i thank you for is forcing me to love myself a little more though :D

so i write this to let go of my burdening unhealthy feelings into the universe. i’ve forgotten us and our friendship. and i don’t hate you or get bothered by you or her anymore. because, you don’t know who i am and i don’t know who you are. i like it that way.

i’m okay with being the bad guy if it meant i found peace.

wishing you all the best in your life and i hope you don’t ever feel the way i felt.

[the-somewhat-rambling-reviewer]

Compare and Contrast Cherry Magic (Japan) and Ep 1 Cherry Magic (Thailand)

I hope Achi’s ‘clumsiness’, like Adachi’s, is largely phased out after the first episode.

I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to explain this properly, but one thing I found interesting is: Both Adachi and Achi are in a rut and resigned to it, but I think it bothers Achi more than it did Adachi. I don’t think Adachi really wanted more until he started to realise having more was actually maybe an option, whereas, Achi does want more, but he doesn’t believe having more is an option.

When it comes to Kurosawa and Karan, Karan being subtly burnt out was shown right away, whereas, Kurosawa’s loneliness and bouts of sadness along with the struggles he’s faced were gradually revealed.

On another note, Karan and Achi have much more of a relationship already. I don’t have a problem with this, but one thing I preferred about the Japanese version is: Adachi genuinely didn’t pay much attention at all to Kurosawa before he found out Kurosawa liked him. It was like, yeah, there’s Kurosawa, the popular office guy, and that was it. Even with him helping a drunk Kurosawa, I never got the impression that incident, in contrast to how life-changing it was to Kurosawa, made much of an impact on him. Yeah, I helped a drunk coworker once, it was nice to see even the popular can have down moments, I don’t really remember the specifics beyond this of that night.  

Here, Achi is a little jealous of Karan. He wants to be more like him. He holds Karan up as something he himself should be.  

Adachi, meanwhile, I think he would have liked to be more like Kurosawa, but he didn’t really dwell on this feeling, and he especially didn’t dwell on Kurosawa as a person until he started to learn, oh, this guy who’s everything I’m not, it turns out I have a really incomplete picture of who he really is and what he’s really like beyond what everyone, including me, has seen.

Sidenote, I don’t know if Karan is going to be a teasing character like Kurosawa or not. In the original, seeing sunshine-y Kurosawa teasing Adachi, and Adachi being all silently I really cannot deal with you right now was fun. Here, Karan’s suggestion they take the stairs had a genuine sweetness to it. It was like, okay, I have a solution that might help make you more comfortable, and bonus, it’d have me and you spending some time alone together.

I felt the quickly suppressed sadness and disappointment from him when Achi quickly rejected his offer. I’d say to Achi’s credit, Achi didn’t go, huh, taking the stairs would be good for me, but you don’t need to join me, bye, but I suspect it’s more that, like adult me (kid me loved stairs), Achi is not taking the stairs unless he actually needs to for some reason.  

When it comes to Adachi and Tsuge and Achi and Jinta, again, I’m not sure if I’m going to explain this properly or not, but: Until the movie, I never saw much enjoyment between Adachi and Tsuge, but this doesn’t mean I thought they had a bad friendship. They struck me as two people who had a strong emotional connection, and due to this, they’d meet for dinner or drinks occasionally just to keep up with one another so that, when one of them needed emotional support, it wasn’t weird to call or text at like 3 am or something.

Jinta and Adachi, on the other hand, seem more like conventional friends who genuinely enjoy one another’s company. Their food fight was adorable.

I’m not good at recognising most animal behaviour, but even I know that the way that cat was panting was not good, just like I knew Pobjer from Don’t Say No was not happy or interested in any of the actors handling her (assuming the cat actor was female like the character).

This said, like many of the takes I’ve read, I do love how the connection between Jinta and his love interest is being fleshed out via the cat. But since I was pretty meh on Tsuge/Minato, I might be on Jinta and this guy, too.

Sing Harit Cheewagaroon is an impressive actor. To date, my favourite role of his is Todd from Not Me, but I like him here as Rokkaku’s counterpart.

The fact Karan choose Achi’s cake but didn’t show up for the party is cute. Him spending a month researching in the hopes of finding a great cake, and then, being, me and him aren’t actually friends, and he’s somewhat shy/socially awkward, I want him to being completely comfortable and enjoy his birthday celebration, here, friends of Achi’s, here’s a cake, don’t mention it came from me, thanks- adorable.

I saw the perfect take that encapsuled what I felt about Achi being sent, on his birthday, to give cake to someone who wasn’t even part of the celebration. Namely, I was all, What? Seriously?

Followed by the realisation it could be his friends pinging Karan’s crush and lowkey shipping the two.

If so, aw.

One thing that kind of worked and kind of didn’t is: In the original, I wondered why Adachi didn’t get a cab. Here, he tried, and he probably could have eventually gotten one, but it was also clear he was unlikely to get one anytime soon.

In the original, I don’t want to say bullied, but Kurosawa was more okay, you’re staying with me tonight, and Adachi sort of ended up in front of the apartment mentally going, how exactly did I end up here?

Here, this vibe didn’t exactly happen.

Like many, I’m disappointed we may not get an aroace character, but I’m not surprised. It’s too bad. Fujisaki was an awesome character, and it was nice to see a sweet, somewhat playful, competent aroace character who clearly had genuine emotional connections with other people. She wasn’t cold or misanthropic or traumatised. She didn’t want or need a romantic relationship to be happy, ditto a sexual one, and her friendship with Adachi and Kurosawa was awesome. Recognising they’d be happy together, she helped them get there, and neither ever thought anything was wrong with her.

Adachi was willing to be her beard, if she wanted him to, and they both supported her following her career goals.

Finally, I’m likely in the minority here, but I did not like Karan’s smirk at the end. Since I know the original and probably wouldn’t believe the show would go a certain way even if I didn’t know the original, I can put my kneejerk reaction aside, but whatever exactly Tay Tawan Vihokratana was going for, and whatever so many people got that they liked, I went somewhere different upon seeing that expression.    

[badassbuchanan]

My Girl

Request: Could you writer some sort of frenemies thing with Bucky where everyone thinks you hate each other but then Loki starts flirting with you and it makes Bucky really jealous??

Warnings: smut; non!con turned fucking sickly sweet, fingering, slut shaming, unprotected sex, doggy, missionary, dirty talk, angst.

Word count: 7968

A/N: I apologise for messing with your hearts like this - I also strayed a bit from the request (sorry anon!) x

“Buchanan, you fucker!” Y/N yelled from across the compound moments before Bucky strutted into the boardroom with a roll of his eyes.

The rest of the team’s head’s turned to follow the loud noise of Y/N yelling, watching the long haired super soldier enter the room with a smug look on his face.

“Not again.” Bruce sighed softly, his head falling into his hand as he prepared himself for another bickering match between Y/N and Bucky. 

“Don’t you walk away from me.” Y/N followed Bucky into the room, her eyes fixed on the back of his head as he casually made his way over to the others. 

“Guys, cut it out.” Tony spoke sternly, trying to control the two avengers who were constantly at each other’s throats. 

“Just wait until you hear what he said.” Y/N looked over at Tony who’s palms were pressed against the edge of the large conference table. He shook his head, looking between the two is disbelief. 

“I don't ca-”

“Don’t be such a baby.” Bucky retaliated to Y/N childishly before Tony could speak. The super soldier slumped down in the empty seat next to Cap, his eyes focused on her from across the room as his elbows rested on the arm rests of the swivel chair. Neither of them cared that they’d bought the whole room into the argument. “All I said was I’d rather take my chances with spider-boy than have Y/N as my partner on a mission.” 

“This is coming from the guy who couldn’t even hold on to a train.” She growled as she pulled out the seat next to Nat, who was smiling an amusement at how well Y/N stood up for herself. Bucky scoffed at her comment, shaking his head as he thought of something to anger her further.

Peter’s face screwed up in shock after realising his name had been mentioned, his arms coming up to cross over his body defensively. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked as a devious smile appear on Bucky’s face. Peter glanced over at Tony for help, but he was too annoyed to care about the youngest avenger’s feelings. 

“It means-” Y/N words were cut off by a loud bang of Tony’s hand hitting the desk. The sound made everyone jolt slightly, the room immediately silencing.

“Enough!” He yelled furiously, eyebrows furrowing into a frown as he glared between the bickering pair. “I didn’t call this meeting to hear you two fight. You’re already late, now stop acting like children and listen up.” 

Y/N bit the inside of her cheek, trying to stop the laughter that was building up inside of her from hearing Tony yell as she glared over at Bucky.

“Asshole.” She mouthed to Bucky, who was already smirking at the fact that they’d been told off like toddlers. 

“Snitch.” He whispered back cheekily, secretly liking the way he knew it would make her laugh. Bucky liked being the only reason she got frustrated, wound up and tense. But he also liked being the only reason she smiled, laughed and blushed.

Bucky had this hold on Y/N that couldn’t be explained. She’d tried to reason with herself, telling her inner-self it was just her caring nature that made her feel sorry for him, even when he was a complete dick to her. He was constantly doing things to purposely annoy her or to get a reaction. It gave him a thrill. Like a power trip that sent pleasure to his brain. And he took advantage of that any chance he got.

“Now, over the past few weeks the threats from the Beyonders have increased noticeably.” Tony stood up straight, tugging his collar back into place as he clicked the button of the control he was holding. The screen changed, a mathematical graph appearing to prove Tony’s point. 

Y/N chanced a glance over at Bucky, his fingers on each hand intwined as he swivelled lightly in the chair. God, he was so infuriating. There wasn’t a day that went by without him getting on her last nerve. He frustrated her beyond belief. But for some twisted reason, she loved it. 

“Now we don’t know a lot about who they are, what they want or where they came from.” Tony continued, the room dead silent as he flicked to the next slide.

Bucky bit the inside of his lip, a frown appearing on his brows as he zoned out to what Tony was saying. He was bored already, deciding to look down at his metal hand as he wiggled his fingers to amuse himself, studying the mechanics of it.

He felt a pair of eyes burning into him, glancing over to Y/N. A smug smile washed over his face when he noticed her already looking at him. He gave her a quick wink, pouting his lips into a kissing motion as she rolled her eyes. 

“So, we’ve had to call on the help of an old acquaintance.” Tony turned to face the team again, his fingers lightly tapping on the table in front of him as his eyes darted around the room. Luckily by that point, Y/N and Bucky had both turned their eyes back to the spokesman. 

Tony’s tongue quickly darted out to the corner of his mouth, the unknown reaction of the team was making him anxious.

“Excuse me, Mr Stark. Thor and Loki have just landed. Should I send them in?” F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice came through the intercom, immediately causing a few murmurs from the team. 

“Loki’s here?” Y/N’s eyes lit up immediately as she looked up at Tony for confirmation. Bucky’s head shot round to where she sat, eyebrows furrowing as he wondered who the hell Loki was and why Y/N was so excited to see him. 

“You called Loki?” Steve almost shot up out of his chair, a look of betrayal on his face as he stared at Tony, waiting for an explanation. “Tony, he is not an acquaintance.” 

The fact that Steve was so put off by the mention of Loki had Bucky even more concerned. If Steve had a problem with him, so did he. Especially since Y/N liked him. As the room grew louder in outbursts of resentment regarding Tony’s decision, so did Bucky’s brain. 

He watched Y/N try and fix her hair subtly, sitting up straighter in her chair as an unusual feeling flooded through him. He wasn't angry, but he sure as hell wasn’t happy. 

The beep of the boardroom door opening quickly silenced the group, Y/N’s head turning to watch the God of Thunder walk into the room. “Hello everyone.” Thor nodded with a sweet smile, pleased to be back with his friends again. “Good to see you all.”

It was almost as if a cold wind engulfed the room as Bucky watched the dark haired, chiseled faced, pale god strut into the room. Bucky’s jaw clenched, his eyes darkening as he felt a wave of overwhelming hate flood through his body. He noticed Loki’s hair was longer than his own. His eyes brighter. His smile wider. His jaw sharper. 

“Greetings, all.” His voice was slicker. He was charismatic. He was charming. He was everything Bucky wasn’t and he fucking hated him. Bucky felt his heartbeat quicken as he watched Loki greet everyone individually, stopping in his tracks as he reached Y/N’s chair. 

She’d turned to face him, her eyes lit up like fireworks as she looked up at the god of mischief who had put his hands over his mouth. “My god,” Loki gasped softly as he pulled his best puppy dog face, leaning his hands on the arms of Y/N chair to get close to her. “Y/N, you look more beautiful every time I see you, my love.” 

Bucky felt his jaw clench so tight he was sure it would break. His hands closed into tight fists as he sat up a little straighter in his chair. He was livid. Livid at the fact that this green-eyed hot shot thought he could waltz in and steal Y/N away from him. Bucky was the only one that made her smile. He was the only one that got to have her attention. 

“Oh, Loki, stop, you’re making me blush.” She giggled softly and wrapped her arms around his neck like they belonged there. Loki turned his face towards her, leaving a gentle kiss on her flushed cheek before he stood back up. Bucky had never made her giggle like that. He’d never kissed her cheek before. He’d spent every damn day with her and he never got her to blush like a little school girl.

“Maybe later you can show me your favourite spots and we can talk about what's changed since I was last here.” Loki spoke softly, taking Y/N’s hand in his as he pulled it against his chest dotingly.

A few snickers broke out from the rest of the team, not surprised one bit at Loki and Y/N’s interaction. Believe it or not, Y/N wasn’t Loki’s biggest fan. She would never actually progress their friendship to anything more than flirting, deep down she didn’t trust him just as much as Steve didn’t. But Y/N did love the attention that Loki gave her. How he treated her like a princess and devoted himself to her every word. She liked how he complimented her and made a fuss. She liked how he made her feel special in a room full of people.

But all that Bucky saw unravelling in front of his eyes was the start of one of those soppy rom-coms that he despised. “We have training later, Y/N.” His words came out a lot more aggressive than he originally intended. 

The whole room’s attention turned to him, straight faced and stiffened body. Loki stood up straight as a glimmer shone in his eyes. He noticed how on edge the super soldier looked.

“Yeah, we’ll still have time to train, Bucky.” She spoke with a level of concern, noticing the unusual seriousness on Bucky’s face. “I wouldn’t skip on the opportunity to kick your ass.” She smirked, face immediately dropping as she watched Bucky quickly divert his eyes away, not entertaining her with his usual sarcastic response.

“Bucky?” Loki’s voice was low as thoughts flew through his brain at a million miles per hour. He smiled deviously, eyes squinting as his heart jumped at the chance to cause mischief. “James Buchanan Barnes. The winter soldier.” 

Bucky clenched his jaw again as his eyes flickered up to Loki before back to the table, he could feel his anger bubbling over. Loki had been getting under his skin ever since he walked through the damn door. 

“Hydra’s most successful experiment, their deadliest weapon.” Loki made a quick move around the table to stand in front of Bucky, his eyes widening with excitement as he held his hand out in front of him. “May I say what a pleasure it is to meet you.”

Steve noticed Bucky’s metal hand grip tightly around the arm of his chair as he politely lifted his flesh arm to quickly shake Loki’s hand. Bucky smiled as he momentarily looked up at the long haired god, using all of his will power to stay calm. 

“How did it feel to know how many people you killed once you got your mind back?” Loki’s words were slow and full of deviance as Bucky’s metal arm began whirring into action. 

Y/N watched worriedly, she annoyed the crap out of Bucky all the time, but she’d never seen him so angry. Her heart sunk as she watched Bucky’s eyes darken, a soft, lost look on his face that disappeared so quick she almost thought she’d imagined it.

Steve’s eyes widened as he watched the event unfold. “I think that’s enough chit chat, Loki.” He spoke sternly, Loki’s eyes immediately glancing over to Steve. He knew the fact that Steve had to step in meant he’d done a good job of infuriating Bucky. “Why don’t you just get on with what you came here to do.” 

Loki stayed silent, pleased with his work as he flickered quick a smile, striding back up to the front of the room where Tony stood. 

“The Beyonders are a race of extra-dimensional entities powerful enough to collect planets.” Loki went straight into ‘business mode’, his charismatic nature immediately made most of the room forget what he’d just said to Bucky.

But Steve was concerned, and embarrassingly enough, so was Y/N. Yes, she loved to aggravate Bucky, wind him up until he was chasing her down the hallway or whining at her to stop being a brat. But it was never to hurt him, she made sure of that. Not like what Loki had just done. She tried to silently get his attention by glancing over at him every now and then, but Bucky’s eyes didn’t budge from the table. 

“Their nature is so alien that they are unable to leave their own dimension and for millennia were never observed by any being of the Earth dimension.” Loki continued to teach the team about the threat they were facing, the room silent as mostly everyone paid attention. “To interact with the Earth dimension they must operate through agents.”

“So basically, what Loki is saying is, it’s not just one race we’re up against here. It’s gunna be a big ass battle.” Tony interjected Loki’s speech, he’d read the room enough to know he’d lost the attention of three of his avengers already. There was no need for this to continue. “That’s all you need to know for now. We’ll regroup tomorrow for another meeting. Thank you, Loki.” 

The team stood up, casually making their way out of the room after Tony had ended the meeting. Y/N lagged behind, watching Steve and Sam mumbling something incoherent to Bucky.

By the looks of things he didn’t want to listen to what they had to say, the long haired super soldier pushed past his oldest friend with a frown on his face, not lifting his eyes even once as he left the room.

Y/N sighed as she watched Bucky storm out of the room, she’d never seen him act out so much, he was always so internal with his emotions. She didn’t like the way Loki brought up Bucky’s past in front of everyone like that. She almost felt protective over Bucky, like she was the only one who should be able to tease him about that kind of stuff.

The look on Bucky’s face when Loki had mentioned the Winter Soldier’s assassinations made Y/N’s heart ache. It was as if everything came flooding back to him in an instant, like a bad dream he couldn’t wake up from. 

Y/N and Bucky had never discussed such personal things, no way. She didn’t know that he suffered from PTSD, flashbacks and social anxiety. She didn’t know about the nights he lay awake haunted by his past. All she saw was a grumpy looking soldier who only smiled when he was making fun of her.

“Darling,” Loki’s sudden call to her knocked Y/N out of her thoughts. Her head was forced to turn to the side by the god of mischief, whose hands were on her shoulders. He smiled down at her dotingly, eyes bright as he fed her attention-needy ego. “What do you say we make the most of this alone time we’ve been so generously given, hm?”

She smiled softly up at him, although her eyes were glazed over as her mind wandered off again. “Sorry Loki, but I should go and get ready for training.” Her voice was monotone and quiet as she suddenly wasn’t so interested in the attention of the man in front of her. 

She left the room and wandered through the compound, stopping in her tracks when she saw Sam, Steve and Nat talking in the kitchen. “Hey, Steve.” Y/N called out, confused as to why she was suddenly so concerned about the metal armed man. 

As all three of the avenger’s heads turned to where she was standing, Y/N began second guessing her decision to ask if Bucky was okay. She hated Bucky, he annoyed the shit out of her. Even if she asked, the team would just think she was asking to make sure he wasn’t okay. What if they thought she’d take Loki’s side? Or worse. What if they thought she’d set Loki up to hurt Bucky? Even worse than that. What if Bucky thought Y/N had set Loki up to hurt him? 

“Never mind.” She sighed as she bit the inside of her lip, continuing her walk through the compound until she reached her room. 

She quickly changed into a red sports bra with navy detailing and leggings to match. She looked in the mirror after tying her training shoes and tied her hair into a high pony tail. She turned around, shamelessly checking out her ass before making her way down to the training room. 

She waited for a whole half an hour for Bucky to show, but he never did. She stood up from where she’d eventually laid down on the rubber floor mat, she couldn’t help but feel guilty about what had happened earlier. Bucky obviously blamed her, why else wouldn’t he show? He’d never been late before. 

“He didn’t show, huh?” Y/N glanced up as Steve walked into the room, tight grey top and black shorts. 

She shook her head, lifting her arms to tighten her pony tail before placing her hands on her hips. “Any idea where he is?” 

“In his room.” Steve shrugged, knowing that’s where Bucky spent most of his time. He started throwing controlled practice punches at the punching bag in front of him, stopping as he watched Y/N walk towards the door. “Maybe take it easy on him. I know he can annoy you sometimes but, I just think he’s having a bad day.” 

She couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle as she turned back to face Steve, he really thought she was going to yell at him for not showing up to training. She couldn’t blame him for thinking that, any other day and that's probably exactly what she would’ve done. “Loki was really out of line earlier, I actually just want to make sure Bucky’s okay.” 

Steve smiled proudly at her from where he was taping up his hands, nodding slightly as if he were giving her the ‘go ahead’. There weren’t many people, even living in the compound, that would be willing to go out of their way to make sure Bucky was okay. It was partly his own fault, he was very stand-offish. 

“Come in.” Y/N was surprised when she heard Bucky’s voice call out from beyond the door after she’d knocked. Honestly, she wasn’t expecting a response. 

She opened the door slowly, noticing his neatly kept room with minimal belongings. She looked over Bucky who was standing by the foot of his bed, he was wearing different clothes from earlier. That, his slicked back hair and the scent of peppermint told Y/N that he’d just had a shower. 

“What do you want?” Bucky mumbled bluntly, turning his back to her as he walked over to his desk to grab a newspaper. Y/N shut the door behind her quietly, watching as he glared at her before diverting his eyes away. He rubbed his face in his hand, sighing out of frustration when she didn’t answer. “I said what do you want?” 

“Woah, at ease soldier.” She chuckled lightly, trying to make a joke to calm her nerves. She’d never been in Bucky’s room before. She’d never genuinely asked him about his feelings. She had no clue how he’d react. What if he made fun of her? “So this is why you bailed on our training, huh?” She smiled softly, pointing at the newspaper in his hand. 

“I’m surprised you even noticed I wasn’t there.” Bucky scoffed out spitefully, referring to Loki asking to spend time with her. 

“Of course I noticed.” Y/N frowned in confusion, watching Bucky roll his eyes as he slammed the newspaper back on the table. 

“Why? Because you and your boyfriend didn’t have anyone to make fun of?” Bucky raised his voice, eyes squinting in anger as glared at her from where he stood. “Is that why you’re here now, hm? Didn’t get enough time to piss me off earlier? Or do you just wanna see how far you can push me before I snap?”

“Loki is not my boyfriend.” She screwed her face up, raising her voice to match his as she waved her hands in the air.

“Yeah, well, you suit each other.” Bucky snapped back sarcastically, a deep crease between his eyebrows formed as he frowned. 

Y/N clenched her jaw, a burning heat rising up in her as her anger took control. “I came here to make sure you were okay, asshole!” She yelled furiously back at him, crossing her arms defensively.

“Oh yeah? Since when do you care about me?” Bucky spoke sarcastically, leaning his shoulder against the wall as he crossed his arms and waited for her response.

“Believe it or not, Bucky, some of us do care about you!” She snapped back at his sarcasm, her chest heaving with fury as she watched him immediately jolt off of the wall. “Normal people care about people other than themselves.”

“And I don’t?” His voice lowered drastically, he started walking towards her as if she were his prey. “Why? Because I have no feelings?” He clenched his fists by his sides, watching her press her back against the door as he stalked closer.

“I don’t know! No one knows what goes on in that cyborg brain of yours!” She argued, agrivated that she had tried to do the right thing by coming to see him, but his stubbornness was causing an argument.

“So that’s how you see me, huh? A robot with no emotion? An empty vessel? A killing machine?” Y/N gasped as Bucky’s metal hand tightened around her throat, pushing her head back against the door harshly. Her eyes widened innocently, trying to regain her breath as his face came square with hers. “You don’t know shit about me. About the constant fucking torture inside my head.”

“You didn’t kill those people, Bucky, it was Hydra. I saw the way you looked like a scared little puppy when Loki mentioned the-“

“The what?” Bucky growled huskily, keeping her head in place as his eyes stared into hers. He watched her pupils dialate as he squeezed the sides of her neck with his metal fingers.

His heart had stopped for a moment when she’d told him that Hydra was the one she blamed for what he’d done. He didn’t expect anyone to think that way, especially not her. A wave of emotion flooded through him, not jealously this time, but...what? Whatever it was, it caused butterflies in his tummy.

Bucky felt his cock twitch slightly at the sight of her submitting it him, for once in her life not fighting him. “The winter soldier?” Bucky whispered into her ear, Y/N’s eyes closing as she started to feel her pussy tingle. “Is that what this is all about? You wanna meet him? Wanna see me turn into a monster? Watch the light disappear from my eyes as I fucking destroy you?”

She couldn’t explain why his threats turned her on, all she knew was that she’d never been so aroused in her life. Her chest was heaving as he whispered in her ear, her panties flooding as his metal arm choked her.

The look she gave Bucky sent his head into a spin. She looked so helpless and innocent beneath his hand, but there was a hint of desire in her eyes. She wanted him, she wanted to please him, she wanted him to take whatever he wanted from her.

“You don’t scare me.” She whimpered softly, her lips parting as she tried to breathe. Bucky’s eyes flickered over her lips as an uncontrollable urge to kiss her washed over him.

“Still so mouthy.” He shook his head with a tut, their lips almost touching as he jolted his hand, pushing her head against the wall with more force. She let out a small cry. “You know there are other ways to get attention, baby.”

Y/N’s arousal was soaking through the material covering her crotch, her pebbled nipples rubbing against her sports bra. “Well it’s not my fault you’re always pissing me off.” She whispered bravely, her eyes fixed on his which had grown noticeably darker.

“Oh?” Bucky arched his eyebrow, tilting his head back slightly to assert his dominance. “You don’t like when I wind you up? When I say things to purposely get you to snap?” He leaned his head down, his lips tickling the delicate skin just behind where his fingers finished pressing into her neck. 

Y/N listened closely to his words, realising that Bucky hadn’t been treating her that way because he hated her. He hadn’t been constantly on at her because he didn’t get along with her. In fact, he did it because he knew exactly what she liked. Exactly what kind of interactions she thrived off of. The kind that would always bring her back for more. 

Bucky took her silence as an agreement, a smirk playing on his lips as he continued kissing her neck softly. “I know exactly what gets you going, don’t I?” He continued, finally letting go of her neck as his metal arm trailed down her chest. 

Y/N let out a shaky breath as her throat was now unrestricted, her eyes dropping to where his hand was on her. Bucky’s flesh palm was planted firmly on the wall next to her head, trapping her there. 

“Is that why you’re always so frustrated around me? Hm? Constantly coming back for more?” He kissed her cheek, almost affectionately as he watched her squirm under his touch. “Such a needy little attention whore.” 

She didn’t bite back, her head lifted to lean against the wall, her thighs desperately rubbing together to relieve some of the tension building between her thighs. She liked it.

Bucky chuckled deeply, looking down at where his fingers had dropped to play with the waistband of her exercise leggings. He hooked the tips of his metal fingers inside, entertaining himself as he looked back up at her. “Tell me honestly, baby, whose attention do you crave most?” 

“Yours.” She whimpered desperately, not even taking a moment to think. His lips ghosted over hers, his eyes big and innocent as he brushed their noses together. 

“Not that green goblin who calls himself a god?” Bucky tested as he stepped closer, their bodies touching as his hand pressed against her lower stomach. She whimpered at the feeling of his cold metal fingers on her bare skin, so close to where she needed him most. 

“No.” She submitted to him instantly, shaking her head as Bucky slowly pushed his hand further down into her pants. 

He stopped when he reached the band of her panties, a loud gulp erupted from Y/N’s throat as Bucky teased her even more. “You sure? S’not too late to go running back to him.” 

“No, Bucky, I want you.” She breathed out shakily, almost crying in frustration as Bucky licked his lips, her words were like music to his ears. Her hand came down to rest on his lower tummy, feeling his muscles through the thin material of his t-shirt. 

“Why, Y/N?” He growled as their breaths hit each others lips, she clawed softly at his stomach, overwhelmed with pleasure before he’d even begun. “Tell me why you want me and not him.” 

She felt exhausted, like her body could collapse at any moment. She was in a euphoric state from his light touches and words alone. She looked down at his lips, her eyes half shut as she grabbed hold of his metal wrist, pushing his hand down into her panties. 

Y/N let out a soft moan as his metal fingers slipped between her slick folds, her head hitting the wall with a thud. She looked up at Bucky, watching his eyes fall to where his hand disappeared into her leggings. His brows were furrowed in a frown, his mouth slightly hung open as he slipped his fingers deeper into her. “Because only you make me wet.” 

Bucky lost control, pushing his lips against hers in a desperate kiss as two of his metal fingers slipped into her hole. Y/N moaned into the kiss, her hand flying up to hold the back of his neck, pulling him down harder onto her lips. If only he’d known. If only he’d known that every cocky remark, every teasing comment left her this wet. 

“God, if Id’ve known all it took to shut you up was my fingers in your wet little hole I would’ve fucked you a long time ago.” Bucky chuckled darkly, his words were condescending. He pushed his tongue between her lips, a growl escaping his throat as she sucked on his warm muscle. 

His fingers moved in and out of her aching pussy, his whole hand drenched in her arousal. Y/N whimpered when he curled his fingers inside of her, hitting a spot of pleasure that she didn't know was there. 

“Bucky.” She moaned against his lips, her hips bucking into his hand as his thumb moved to rub her throbbing clit. She tugged on his hair, her arms resting on his shoulders as she steadied herself. 

“You wanna cum, don’t you?” He asked smugly, tilting his head before pressing their lips together sensually. “You wanna cum all over metal hand, you horny little slut.” 

“Yeah.” She whimpered out breathlessly, sucking on his top lip as she rocked her hips against his hand, pushing them further inside of her. “Make me cum, please, Bucky.” 

“I’m the only one who gets to touch you like this, you hear me?” Bucky growled into her mouth, biting down on her lip hard enough to hurt. He felt Y/N’s hips rut against his hand again, a smile appearing on his lips as he felt how desperate she was. 

She whimpered, her back arching off of the wall as she rolled her hips toward him. She looked up into his eyes innocently, like he was the only person in the world.

Bucky felt his cock pressing harshly against the material of his track pants, desperate for attention. He watched her bounce on his fingers, her hand moving from his shoulder to pull the tight material of her sports bra over her tits, letting them bounce freely.

Bucky’s eyes darkened at the sight of her boobs, his fingers speeding up inside her tight pussy as he met every movement of her hips. “Fuck yourself on my hand, just like that, make yourself cum.”

Her thighs clenched around his hand, controlling his movements as she clung to his wrist, fucking herself on his hand just like he’d told her to. “Shit, Bucky.”

Y/N clenched rapidly around his metal fingers, his thumb harshly pressed against her sensitive nub as she felt her orgasm taking over.

She leaned in to press her lips against his, hoping to muffle the moans, but Bucky was too fast. He moved his head out of reach, smiling down at her deviously as she came.

Her moans filled the room, her nails digging in to his shoulder as she bucked her hips unrhythmatically into his palm. “Fuck.” She whimpered as she clung to his chest, trying to calm down from the overwhelming sensation.

Bucky pulled his fingers out of her before she could even catch a breath, little moans escaping her lips as she watched him suck his fingers soaked in her juices.

“Shit.” He breathed heavily as he looked down at where his fingers had just been, a noticble wet patch covering the material of her leggings. “You’re so fucking wet, soaked right through your leggings.”

Y/N whimpered in response, tugging his metal hand down to her mouth as she sucked on his fingers. Bucky clenched his jaw as he watched her submissively take his fingers, her soft plump lips wrapping around them.

“Bucky,” she breathed shakily as he pulled his fingers from her mouth to hold her hips. She wrapped her hands around his biceps as she pulled body against hers. “I want you to fuck me.”

He smiled darkly at her desperate state, his cock throbbing as he tilted his head to the side. “It’s gunna hurt.” He chuckled, enjoying the thought of impaling her on his cock. 

“Good,” She pouted as she ran her hands down his muscular form, desperate to feel his cock in her hand. “I want it to hurt.”

Bucky immediately caught on to what she was doing, his hands quickly moving to grab her wrists tightly. He skilfully used his strength to spin her around, her exposed chest pressing hard against the wall as he held her hands behind the small of her back.

Y/N let out a small cry, his body pressed tightly against her back. She felt the outline of his cock pressing against her ass cheek as she ground back into him. 

“Don’t you dare try and take control.” Bucky growled deeply, his head dropping as he watched his bulge rub against her. 

Bucky groaned at the feeling, he let go of her wrists, her palms moving to press against the wall. His hands quickly moved to pull the waistband of her leggings and panties down to free her ass. 

He gulped loudly as he watched the wetness pool down onto her panties. Bucky had to stop himself from dropping to his knees and fucking her with his tongue. 

“Come on Bucky,” Y/N whined desperately as she kicked her bottoms off the rest of the way, almost crying out of frustration. “Don’t you wanna fuck the brat out of me?” She turned her head to look at him, biting her lip as she watched him tugging on his cock that he’d pulled out of the confinements of his pants. 

He was huge. Her lips parted in a gasp as she took in the beauty of his cock. She had to stop herself from turning around and sucking him off. Bucky lifted his flesh hand up to her mouth, watching as she obediently licked a strip up his palm with her tongue. 

Bucky looked her almost naked form up and down, moving his wet hand to lubricate his cock as he tugged himself off. “God, you make me so wet, Bucky.” She moaned sensually, spreading her legs a little wider as she felt her juices running down the inside of her thigh. 

He closed his eyes, letting his metal fingers dig into her hip as he positioned himself behind her, lining his tip up with her dripping heat. He bit his lip, forcing his cock into her tight walls as she moaned like a pornstar for him.

“Oh, yes.” She screamed at the feeling of his thick length stretching her pussy. “Fuck, Bucky.” She felt his cock twitch inside of her, encouraging her to moan louder. She closed her eyes, leaning her cheek against the cold wall as she tried to adjust to his monstrous size. 

“Good girl, let everyone know who you belong to.” Bucky moaned as he stilled, fully sheathed inside of her. Her pussy clenched around him, hugging his thick shaft trying to milk him of his cum. 

“You’re so big.” She whimpered submissively, trying to stop her hips from jolting to get used to his cock throbbing inside of her. Bucky could tell that she was already fucked out, his cock was too much for her to take. But for once, she wasn’t answering him back or being a pain in his ass. She was begging him. 

Bucky bit down on his bottom lip as he suddenly began moving his hips in and out of her, the action easy because of how wet she was. He held her hips in place as she cried out, still trying to adjust to his size. Her tits bounced as she lost control of her body, pushing her palm harder against the wall as she steadied herself. 

“No, Bucky, wait.” She whimpered, moving her other hand back to push his hip back, needing a little more time to adjust. A dull ache took over her pussy as he fucked her relentlessly, easily fighting against where her hand was pushing him away. 

“You said you wanted it to hurt.” He growled dominantly, pulling her hips back against his cock as he fucked into her, treating her like his own little sex doll. His cock twitched at the sound of her erotic moans filling the room loudly, a grunt erupting from his lips as he watched his cock disappear into her pussy. 

Her clit throbbed with pleasure, her ass being pulled back harshly against his skin. Slapping sounds grew louder with her pussy still dripping with arousal, his cock easily slipping in and out of her. 

“I do,” She breathed heavily, her head spinning with pleasure as she dropped her hand from his hip, the feeling of needing to help him feel better overwhelming her senses. “Take it all out on me, Buck.” 

His hips didn’t let up, fucking deep into her as he felt a different feeling flow through his body. He looked at the girl in front of him, so ready to help him fuck away his problems. So ready to help him, where most people would’ve run.

Bucky’s heart felt like mush, a moan leaving his lips as Y/N arched her back into his touch. He moved his body forward to press his chest flush against her back, his metal hand pressing into the wall.

He’d pushed his cock deeper into her with the new angle, another loud moan of his name escaping her lips as she leaned her head back against his shoulder.

Bucky felt her pussy clenching around him again, his flesh arm wrapping around her chest to hug her tighter against him. She started circling her hips on his cock, a deep growl came from his chest as he fucked her.

“Did you mean it?” He whispered into her ear, fucking deep inside of her as he made her moan for him. She whimpered softly, her eyes closing in pure bliss as she felt his cock pressing against her cervix. 

She turned her head towards him, her eyes darkened and fucked out as she looked at his face. His stubble scratched her cheek, his eyes glistening in the dull light of the room. He waited for an answer for what seemed like a lifetime, his thrusts getting rougher as he clenched his thighs. 

“Did you mean it?” He repeated the question, feeling his balls slapping against her skin. Y/N looked up into his eyes, noticing the softness in them which wasn’t there before. “Did you mean it when you said you’re not scared of me?”

A warm feeling flooded Y/N’s heart as she saw that look again - the scared puppy look that she’d seen when Loki mentioned the winter soldier. Her chest tightened around itself, the pain in his eyes was so deep it almost hurt her to see. 

“Yes,” She nodded softly, her hand moving to play with his hair as she watched Bucky’s eyes flicker down to her lips. “Of course I meant it.” Her eyebrows raised, almost to confirm her sincerity as she pressed her lips to his. 

Bucky sighed in relief as he felt her lips against his, embarrassingly too shy to do it himself. He deepened his thrusts, hugging her body as he fucked up into her. But now it was more than fucking, it was like they were connected on a completely different level. Like they understood each other more than anyone else would ever understand them. Y/N had never seen this side of him before and it was making her fall in love. and that scared her.

She pushed her ass back against him, moaning into the kiss as she felt his cock twitching inside her walls. She knew she was close, her clit tingling at the full feeling of his length fucking her. Bucky knew it too, he felt the way she was squeezing around him. 

He felt an overwhelming amount of emotion coursing through his veins, his heart almost beating out of his chest as he slid his cock out of her. Before she could protest, Bucky spun Y/N to face him, his chest heaving as she pressed her hand against his peck. 

“Do you think you could ever love me?” He nudged her nose with his, looking down at the floor as he breathed shakily. Her eyes saddened at his vulnerability, wondering how many times that thought had crossed his mind, thinking the answer was no. “Do you think anyone could ever love me?” 

“God, you’re such a fucking idiot sometimes, Barnes.” She sighed with a sad smile, a little chuckle escaping her lips as Bucky looked up at her eyes in a moment of bravery. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling his automatically move to hold her hips. She felt his throbbing cock against her crotch, ignoring the sexual desire as she focused on taking care of his feelings. “Of course I love you.” She admitted shyly, the flush on her cheeks not just from the raw fucking. 

Bucky tried to control the smile from beaming on his face, but he failed miserably. She looked up at the handsome soldier, her heart skipping a beat knowing she was the reason for his happiness. “Why else do you think I constantly bug you? Or instantly forgive you for all the things you do to make me mad, hm?” She played with his hair as Bucky licked his lips, admiring her through hooded eyes. 

She squealed as Bucky suddenly pressed his lips against hers deeply, giggling like a little school girl as he picked her up by her thighs. Bucky’s heart fluttered at the sound of her laughing, her hand cupping his stubble-covered face as she tilted her head into the kiss. 

Bucky turned them around, walking them over to his bed as he flicked his tongue between her parted lips. She moaned into the kiss, feeling herself falling before her back landed on the soft mattress. 

She opened her eyes when Bucky took his lips away, a small pouty smile on her lips as she watched him lifting his shirt over his head. She ran her hand down his bare chest as Bucky threw the material to the floor. 

Y/N took the opportunity to lift her sports bra the rest of the way off, letting it join Bucky’s t-shirt. He sat up between her legs, admiring her now fully naked form as he tugged his tracksuit pants off. 

Bucky hovered back over her, his hands coming to rest either side of her head as he followed her eyes to where his metal arm fused with his skin. He gulped loudly as her hand came up towards the modification, her eyes meeting his to ask for permission. 

Bucky nodded nervously, still in slight disbelief that she hadn’t run away yet. He felt her soft fingers trace the frame of the metal shoulder, following the boarder which connected to his flesh. His heart skipped a beat as she watched a soft smile cover her face, moving her eyes back up to meet his. “It’s so beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.” He smiled down at her bashfully, moving his hand to grab hold of hers as he leaned down towards her lips. 

“My goodness, did I just hear old man Barnes call me-” 

He cut off her sass with a kiss, a chuckle erupting from both of them as he shook his head. “Don’t ruin the moment.” She scrunched his face up with a smile, looking down at her dotingly. 

“Sorry.” She giggled cheekily, wrapping her thighs around his hips as she pulled him closer. Her nails scratched lightly down his back as she lifted her head to kiss him again. 

Bucky groaned, feeling his cock rub against her pussy lips. A moan escaped Y/N’s lips as she tugged on his hair, feeling his cock pushing back inside her. 

“Fuck.” She let out in a whimper, her eyes big and innocent as she felt him bottom out inside of her. She tilted her head to the side, her other hand holding his chest as she deepened the kiss. 

Bucky started fucking her deep and slow, feeling every clench of her needy pussy. He breathed heavily through his nose, short grunts vibrating in his throat as he twitched inside of her. 

“Y/N,” He moaned deeply, letting their lips brush against each other as her breath tickled his face. “I love you.” He clenched his jaw as he felt his orgasm approaching fast. 

Her tits bounced against his chest, her back arching at the feeling of him filling her sweet cunt with his cock. “I love you, Buck.” She let out with a cry, Bucky’s skin rubbing her throbbing clit as her thighs clenched around his body, a wave of euphoria erupted through her body. 

“Oh, Bucky.” Her hips erratically bucked up to meet his, her pussy pulsing around him as she came. Her nails dug harder into his back, leaving imprints that would at least last a day. 

“Fuck.” Bucky moaned into her neck, his brows furrowing into a frown as he muffled his grunts against her skin. The feeling of her coming on top of him had Bucky’s hands gripping tightly at the bedsheets. “I’m gunna cum.” 

“Bucky,” She whimpered shyly, rubbing the back of his neck soothingly as she hugged him close, rolling her hips onto his. “Can you cum inside me?” 

“You want me to?” He groaned softly, trying to stop himself from cumming so soon, but the feeling of her was too good. 

“Please.” She nodded as Bucky turned his head to look at her, hovering his lips against hers for a second before pressing them against his passionately. He felt his orgasm hit, his hips rutting into her as he filled her with his cum. 

Y/N looked down at where their bodies were connected, watching his cock slide into her overstimulated pussy as he rode out his high. She whimpered softly as she rubbed his shoulder soothingly, his softening cock slipping out of her. 

Bucky looked down too, both watching as his cum dribbled out of her pussy. He smiled proudly before looking back up at her, tracing his finger over her cheek lightly. “Guess the team will be happy that this means our constant bickering will stop.” Bucky chuckled sweetly, looking down at her face. 

“What does this mean?” She prodded him lightly with her finger, smiling up at him as she admired his gorgeous eyes. 

“It means you’re my girl.” He mumbled before kissing her lips softly. 

“Do I get a say in this at all?” She faked a shocked look and giggled in amusement, watching the cheeky smile appear on his face. 

Bucky shook his head before kissing her again. “No.” He smiled softly, the feeling of pure happiness making him kiss her over and over.

“Okay, fine, I’ll be your girl.” She let out a fake sigh of exasperation, her heart thudding against her chest like she’d never felt before. “But I just have one question.” 

“Okay.” Bucky dragged out the word suspiciously, sitting up on his knees as he rubbed the tops of her thighs. 

“Do you honestly think me being your girlfriend means I’m not gunna still constantly annoy the shit out of you?” She let out lowly with a smirk, watching Bucky groan dramatically as he dropped down next to her on the bed, a huge smile on his face.

He knew she was right, but he didn't mind at all. In fact, he never minded before anyway.

tag list:

@harrysthiccthighss

@annestine

@bestofbucky

@be-patient-be-good

@nothing0is4here

@velvetcardiganbucky

[daisies-and-buttercups]

Day 14: Shooting Stars - Alfie Solomons x reader

Summary: You and the little girl you’re taking care of always spend your days on the beach, bumping into a grumpy old man and his dog. Days go by and all Ellie wants to do is watch the shooting stars with you, the grumpy man and Cyril, and who are you to say no to her?

A/N: Now, I love Alfie. Love him with all my heart. But writing for him terrified me lol But I decided that I’d try, ‘cause this idea would not leave me alone, so here it is. Fair warning, I probably, very possibly, butchered his accent, but I tried 💕

Words: 2k

September prompts here

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Margate was…something. Something you needed.  You had all but ran away from your city, leaving your job behind, and not much more. You didn’t have many friends, and none of them were close, no family, no lover, no relationships worth staying for, so you left. You didn’t even say goodbye, disappearing overnight, suitcases in hand, leaving only a note on your table with the month’s rent for when the landlord would come in.  You needed a new start, and Margate seemed as good a place as any. 

The first week went by slowly, with not much to do but set your new (small) apartment up, hang the few pictures you had on the wall and let some of your neighbours know that you were looking for a job. It was then that someone told you about Ellie, a little girl that lived down the road. Her mum needed someone to take care of her, take her out, after she had fallen ill and couldn't move much anymore. Ellie had spent many weeks indoors, waiting for her mum to get better, but eventually gave up on the idea. She needed someone to take care of her, and you were up for the task. 

“I wanna go to the beach!”  She loved the beach. Even if it was freezing now, she still loved to go, running on the sand and playing with the seagulls, and you had no problem going there with her. You met a few people on your walks, helping you fit in more and more with the people of Margate.  “Let’s go then.” She skipped along with you all the way to the beach, waving and greeting every person she met.  You reached the beach, running after Ellie as she sprinted towards the dog she had sighted not far away. She’d never learn. You told her many times to wait for you before approaching dogs, since some owners didn’t like kids around them, or some dogs could be afraid, but she loved them so much, she just couldn’t resist.  “Ellie!” you shouted when you reached her, trying to pry her away from the dog, who was licking her face, making her laugh at the gesture.  “He don’t bite.”  You turned at the voice, seeing a man sitting not far from you.  You nodded and stayed, watching the two play, until it was time to go. “Well, thank you…” “Alfie.”  “Alfie. See you around?” He didn’t answer, standing and calling for his dog, Cyril, lifting his hand as he walked away, a quick wave, you assumed. He was weird, but interesting. Something about him. Just like Margate, something you needed. “Why was his face like that?” “Hmm?” “His face?”  “Oh. He…” you didn’t know what to say. You weren’t sure what had happened to him, and you weren’t one to make stories up, so you just went with the truth. “I don’t know, I didn’t ask. But maybe you could try asking him next time? If he doesn’t mind he might tell you.”

It had become a habit to meet him on the beach. Same time, same place, same play buddy for Cyril. So you weren’t surprised to see him on the beach again, today, at the usual spot. Cyril spotted you and ran towards you, his tongue out and his tail wagging, ready to greet you and Ellie as he always did. You caressed him and played for a moment, before heading over and sitting with the big grumpy man. “‘Ello, lass” “‘Ello, you.” you mimicked him, sitting by his side, eyes fixed on Ellie, how she ran around, chased by Cyril, her laughter loud, bringing joy to the gloomy day.  You shuffled closer, feeling your leg brush against his. You liked him, you couldn’t deny it, and you loved spending time with him. He didn’t talk much, not when Ellie was around, anyway. Too afraid of swearing or scaring her. You remembered the second time you saw him. “Mister?” “Aye?” “Why is your face like that?” “Ellie!” you sent her a warning glance. It wasn’t the question, the problem, but the phrasing of it. You had gone over polite ways of asking delicate things, but she was so focused on the answer that she forgot all that you taught her. “Alfie, I’m sorry. She means-” “Ah, this? Right, I got shot right in the fuckin’-” “Alfie!”  Sometimes having both Ellie and Alfie around was like dealing with two kids, not one. You looked at him and pointed at Ellie, hoping he’d get it. He didn’t. “What?” “No swearing.”  “Ah.” You closed your eyes, waiting for him to carry on. “Got shot. In the face. Ah... yeah. ‘s all.”  Ellie walked closer to him, her hand gently grazing over his scar. He didn’t flinch, but nodded when she walked back, thanking him before running back to Cyril. “Fuckin’ ‘ell.” “I’m sorry. She was curious.” “Nah, it’s good. She’s a lovely little lass. Just don’t know how to be with kids.” “You’re doing good. Minus the swearing.”

“There’s going to be shooting stars tonight.” Ellie announced, holding her book up proudly. The wonders of Astrology were written in big golden letters on the front of the old blue fabric. You took it from her, reading from the page she had marked. “Indeed. Shall we ask your mum if you can stay up just a bit later so that we can see the stars together?” “Can we go to the beach?” “Sure.” “Can Alfie and Cyril come too?” “I… I can ask them to. You’ve got to stay with your mum this afternoon, yeah? She wants to spend some time with you since she’s feeling better. I’ll go look for Alfie and Cyril and let them know about tonight, alright?” “Yeah! Please!”  “Good. I’ll see you later then, dear.”

The walk to the beach was a quiet one, for once, your footsteps being the only sound. You reached the beach in no time, without stopping to greet everyone for an absurd amount of time. Adults were different. A simple “Hello” and they were on their way. Kids had all the time in the world, and they’d tell you about their favourite book, or how many worms they found in the garden, or what weird dream they had.  You spotted Cyril and Alfie and, before he spotted you, you could’ve sworn that Alfie was pacing around, looking for you and Ellie. You were late today, and maybe he thought you wouldn’t show up, but when he saw you he sat again, pretending not to notice you approaching them.  “‘Ello.” you teased, plopping down next to him, giggling when Cyril came over you to fill you with kisses.  “See, this is the kind of welcome I like, lots of kisses and cuddles, right Cyril? Your owner could learn a thing or two from you.”  His tail wagged quicker, but his owner grunted at your comment, shuffling away from you ever so slightly.  “Where’s the kid?” “Ellie’s home today. But she asked me to come and invite you and Cyril here tonight. We’re watching shooting stars. On the beach.”  He scratched his beard, looking ahead. You really hoped he’d come. You liked him more and more each day, and a small part of you wished that something more would come from this… friendship. “Right, I’ll come. But only ‘cause Ellie asked.”  “Sure.”  He looked at you to make sure you knew that he was joking, that you were the main reason why he wanted to come, but you had already started walking back home, your hand lifted in a wave. He cursed under his breath, scratching his beard again. “Women.” he muttered, shaking his head. 

The sky was covered in clouds, but you told Ellie that she could make a wish anyway, the stars were there, waiting for her. So she did. She wouldn’t tell you what she wished for, but she jumped happily afterwards, eying you and Alfie every few minutes. She played for a while, but eventually fell asleep on the small blanket you laid out for her, snuggling to Cyril while she dreamt. “We could make a wish.” You whispered, breaking the silence when you knew she had indeed fallen asleep, her snores loud enough to startle Cyril, at times. “Hmm?” “Shooting stars.”  You pointed up to the sky, attempting a smile. You knew that the grumpy man sitting next to you wouldn’t smile back, but you wouldn’t hide your own. He’d warm up to you, eventually.  “It’s fuckin’ cloudy, though, innit?”  “Yeah. But they’re there. Just ‘cause you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there.” He nodded, his eyes trailing up to the sky, glancing then at you, your eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed in concentration.  “The fuck are ya doing, lass?” You looked at him and laughed at his confusion.  “I’m making a wish!” “Well, that’s a dumb fuckin’ face to make. No one’ll grant you a wish like that.” “Did you make a wish?” “Don’t believe in wishes. What’s your wish?” “Ain’t telling. Won’t come true if not.” “I’ll tell ya what. You tell me yer wish, and I’ll wish for the same.” “That’s not how it works.” “I don’t believe in wishes, right, but you do, so two wishes are better than one, aye?” “Aye.” “Then tell me.”  “It’s…” You couldn’t tell him. You couldn’t tell him that your wish had to do with him, and you, and more time spent together. Alone. You just couldn’t. So you made up the first thing you could think of. “I wish you would smile more.”  “I smile plenty.” “You’re a grumpy old man. You’ve never smiled for me.” “Never given me a reason to.” “Ah, fuck off. Let’s make my wish and go.”  You closed your eyes, feeling him looking at you, but you ignored it, nodding and standing up.  “All done.”  “Aye.” he confirmed, looking up to the sky once more.  “Good night, Alfie.”  He didn’t believe in wishes. Maybe you didn’t either, but something inside you gave you the courage to chase what you desired.  Why did men always have to be the ones taking the first step? If you had to wait for this one to realise where you stood, you’d both be long dead before he even asked you out. You leaned down, placing a quick kiss on his cheek, feeling his beard tickle you as you did so, before turning away and kneeling down, scooping Ellie up from the ground and wrapping her in the blanket.  He walked beside you, not saying a word, but taking Ellie from your arms, deeming it right to at least help you take her home. It was the least he could do.  Her mother opened the door, ushering you in and leading you upstairs so that you could place her in bed.  “I’ll come by tomorrow.” you whispered, covering Ellie as you spoke. “Thank you.” said her mother, walking you back down the stairs. She was feeling a lot better, rest and medicine helping her a lot, but she still wanted you around. You were kind, and Ellie loved you, and she couldn’t ask for a bigger help than what you were giving her.  Walking out of the door, you didn’t expect to see him still there. “You can go home, Alfie. I know the way to my place.” you joked, waving, but he was back by your side, still not talking, but always there.  You lived just behind the corner, so the walk was short, but you still enjoyed the extra time together.  “Good night, then.” you said again, looking for your keys.  He waited until you had opened the door to reach for your arm, stopping your entrance and coming higher up the steps to face you, his face inching closer to yours until he found the courage and kissed you, his hand cradling your cheek before falling back down, taking a step back. You stared at him, waiting, but he just smiled, offering a nod before walking away, following Cyril back to their home.

He turned one more, his smile still there. So your wish did come true. 

And maybe he didn’t believe in wishes, but his came true too.

[stopeatingwhales]

"you're still blushing," x damon albarn

I haven't written something for damon in ages so here you all go <333

Pairing: 90s damon albarn x reader

Warnings: nothing :)

Word count: 2.214

༉‧₊˚✧

Having a roommate was always helpful for when you needed to cut the cost of rent, and to have company with someone that you got along with since you either were not far into relationships to be able to move in with a significant other, or you weren’t in a one - in which by having a roommate, made things less lonely. Me and Damon had known each other for quite some time now as Graham introduced us since Damon was looking for a flatmate at a time where, for some reason everybody seemed as though they were already occupied with people they were living with and sharing rent. Perhaps he was a little too late looking into it, but when Damon and I met, it was practically a match made in heaven. Though he wasn’t the first person I’d want to share a flat with, as I had no idea who he even was, just that he was best friends with somebody I was also friends with, he was perhaps, as oddly as it sounds, the best choice for a stranger to share a flat with. We had been living together since his band was working on their debut album, Leisure, and since then we had developed a very close relationship with one another. We both shared love for the same music, read the same books, and he had a personality which formed out of pure ardor and benevolence, which made it very easy to be able to form a strong bond together. It was very enjoyable living with him, as we wouldn’t avoid each other at all. Whenever both of us were present, there was nothing we would rather do than just spend time with one another. When nothing was going for us on weekends, we tended to just sit there on the couch in the living room, drinking warm, hot mugs of tea made by Damon at his advance, simply chatting about anything and everything. We would talk until the sun had gone down, until one of us had practically fallen asleep on the other, which was usually me, giving Damon the chore of putting me into bed, which I would constantly be thanking him for the following morning. At certain points in our friendship it was hard to distinguish whether we had feelings for each other, or if it was just a strong platonic relationship; other people had consistently pointed out our relationship together, and how we supposedly acted as if we were the happiest couple in the world.

After being asked whether me and him were together or not countless times, I had begun thinking about our relationship from an outsider's perspective, and over time I had realised that I was gaining feelings for Damon as I started to take notice of the little things that he would do. The warm smiles that he would give me; his plump, soft lips curving in a philanthropic manner, almost child-like, filled with pure love and adoration for you that you would instantly urge yourself to reciprocate. The unneeded care that would ensue once he realised that I was sick and needed a day off, bringing me a warm cup of tea in the morning, also mentioning that he wasn’t attending his band session later on in the day because I was his main priority, and that music could wait. The way he would rush into my room whilst I was organising my laundry, his lyric book gripped in his hand with a pen in the other, practically begging me to hear the new verse he had surprisingly conjured up in a couple of seconds - my opinion meaning so much to him that he would force me to read his finished songs, changing whatever I thought didn’t suit. And not to mention his features. His angelic, ocean-like orbs, where your eyes would get lost in them instantaneously; causing you to wonder what sort of resplendent alchemy went forth in creating such adoring pools of blue; his foolproof nose, sculpted in everlasting beauty, locked in the middle of his face, showing there was no flaw in his features, that he was the definition of true excellence, and though not a part of his face, the hair from his fringe that would coat over his forehead ever so softly, so elegantly, the strands, though roughly brushed through, looked as if they had been done professionally by his hairdresser. You were unable to pinpoint a flaw on him - he was the embodiment of elegance. You’d simply wonder whether this kind of beauty exists, and to have it living with me, was unequivocally something my heart was unable to handle.

Stepping into the flat that we both shared, I quickly took my shoes off before locking the door. As I wandered around the apartment, the aroma of smoke was easily identifiable, implying that Damon was inside, and smoking. Once I reached the living space, I saw Damon was sitting on the couch, flicking through the channels on the TV. “You alright?” I asked him, leaving the shopping bags on the countertops of the kitchen. He turned to look at me, a sweet smile painted on his lips before he took another drag from his cigarette. Oh, to be that cancer stick.

“I’m alright.” He replied, putting out his cigarette on the glass ashtray in front of him, then getting up to help me with the groceries. “How are you, love?”

“I’m okay. I managed to get everything we needed before we both died from starvation.” I laughed, folding up the now-empty bags that were once brimmed to the full of things we needed.

My gaze was fixed on him as he shut the fridge door as I leaned my tired body on the counter, him making his way after shutting the door to stand as close to me as he could. There was practically no empty space between us as he held me in an embrace, his face hidden into my neck as he played with strands of my hair gently. “I missed you,” He uttered, my heart now swelled in adoration for the man that was holding me, unaware if my body was able to handle more of his tauntings. Once he pulled out of the embrace, he clung onto my hands whilst staring deeply into my eyes. I couldn’t help but blush deeply as I looked into his eyes, getting lost in the essence of his handsomeness. I noticed his warm smile form into a cheeky grin as I realised that he knew I was going red. “You’re blushing.”

Slightly embarrassed, I scrunched my face together and looked down to the ground. There was no way out of it, one day he was going to find out just how much I had grown a liking for him. Instead of responding, I moved away from the situation and headed to sit on the couch, knowing that he would follow suit. Once we sat together, I grabbed the cigar pack that was left open on the table and put a cigarette between my lips, looking at Damon as a form of asking where the lighter was. He immediately grabbed the lighter from his pocket and pressed it, causing a flame to come out. I leaned closer to him to allow him to light the roll of tobacco, my eyes not daring to move away from the sight of the flame. I felt his eyes staring intently at my features, the tension in the air being more prominent than it had ever been before. When it was lit, I instantly inhaled, exhaling sharply to expose the smoke that had quickly built up in my throat.

“What did you do today, Dames?” I asked him, attempting to instigate a conversation. His eyes were still lingering on me whilst my eyes tried everything they could to avoid embarrassing myself again, with another blush.

“Well I went in to do some recording, today was mainly for Graham’s guitar solo so we finished up early,” he answered, walking to the fridge to grab himself a beer, then coming back to sit right next to me. “Graham tells me you’ve got a crush on someone.”

After almost choking on the smoke created in my lungs, I felt the blood rush to my cheeks yet again, the action moving so fast I could feel my cheeks begin to sting. “Ehm- He told you that?”

“So it’s true…” Damon began, placing his drink on the coffee table, a smirk evident on his features. “I thought he was lying, since we usually tell each other everything, but your face says otherwise.” He added, my heart panging slightly as I felt bad that he thought that I didn’t want to tell him. Oh if only he knew it was about him. If only he knew that what I haven’t been able to keep my mind off for weeks on end was him. If only he knew that he’s all that engulfs my mind.

“Who’s the guy?” He asked, as I felt his body shift ever so slightly closer to mine, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as he noticed my stiffness.

“You don’t know him.” I mumbled, staring down at my feet as I felt his breath fan my face slightly, the redness of my cheeks still prominent though I tried to ignore the heat radiating out of them.

“Describe him to me then.” He said, in a teasing manner. Part of me felt that Graham told Damon that it was him, and knowing Graham he probably would’ve done that since he was one of the many who believed that we would’ve been good together since we acted like it. But I wasn’t planning on jumping to any conclusions just yet.

“Uhh well…” I felt my cheeks heat up a bright red again as I looked in Damon’s direction, quickly snatching his beer off the coffee table and taking a sip of it to calm my nerves. “He’s got blond hair, blue eyes…” At this point I was staring deeply into Damon’s eyes, full-well knowing I was redder than ever, hell, I was a tomato. However, as I stared at him, I thought of all the possibilities and chances I would be able to mention to him that I developed feelings for him, and chances that would be handed to me easily. At most, I would probably be forced to go up to him and tell him myself that I liked him, which I had no courage in doing so in fear of absolute rejection. Though the fear of rejection still resonated in my mind deeply, there was definitely no way out of Damon and his questioning - he wanted to know everything, and he wanted to know it all now.

“Hmm… Sounds familiar,” he began, the smirk on his face not leaving any second. “Don’t suppose this crush has a name, does he?”

The next few seconds felt as if they had been stilled. Every single thought that I could have ever mustered in my mind joined themselves together, making my mind and body feel as if the moment we were living in was not real, at all. I felt breathless, ironic to the fact that I had been exhaling large clouds of smoke in the room, but I suppose even when breathing, you can still have your breath taken away from the sight before you. It felt as if I was in a haze, a drunken stupor, a lucid dream that felt far too realistic, but I had never thought that this moment would ever occur in mine and Damon’s time living together, or even in a child-like fantasy, or ever. Our faces were inches apart, my eyes constantly flicking through his bountiful orbs and smooth lips, his eyes fixated on mine, as if he was searching for something. Something to tell him that his suspicions were correct.

“It’s you for god’s sake.” I mumbled before eagerly conjoining my lips with his. I felt as if I rushed myself into it, the feeling enrapturing my mind, my body, and especially my heart. There was no other moment I had felt equated to this as our bodies embraced one another’s, the pair of us slowly allowing what was happening to melt into our minds. My heart was pounding as if my life had depended on it, my mind raced with thoughts so anxious but elated as both our bodies allowed our mouths to brush past one another’s until we were at a loss for breath. Love had never felt so strong, love had never carried this much emotion, this much integrity. I felt as if there was nothing else I had needed other than this moment to characterise its virtue, the intimacy shared overstimulated my emotions, for I felt like balling into tears at this juncture - not out of sadness, but out of pure admiration and alleviation that all this tension over the past couple months was real, that the love we had for each other was real, and not some fantasy that I invoked in my mind. Parting away from him, my eyes were fixated on his features - there was nobody else on this planet that could make me feel such emotion than him.

“You’re still blushing, love.”

[iwritefanficsnottragedies]

Fred Weasley

Request: None

Prompt: "My mum asked about you again"

***

Forgotten in a corner of the library, their books and parchments scattered all over the table, 4 students were restlessly doing their homework.

"Can't this be done already?" one of them broke the silence, so sudden it startled the others. "Bloody hell, it's been over 3 hours!"

"We're almost done, Ron, no need to get so loud," Hermione scoffed, "besides, you barely did anything."

"I assume Hermione and I could finish it in the morning. It's getting quite late and Madam Pince isn't looking quite fondly at us," (Y/N) sighed, feeling her eyelids heavy.

A yawn from Ron made Hermione groan. "I doubt we'd get much done tonight anyway, let's just go then."

Not long after, the 4 of them found themselves on the nearly empty halls of Hogwarts, on their way to the Gryffindor common room. They walked in silence, the tiredness from a full day finally getting the best of all of them. That is, until Ron broke the silence once more.

"(Y/N)," he said, making the (H/C) girl turn her head, "are you sure you don't want to come over for Christmas?"

"No, Ron, it's alright. I don't wanna be a bother," (Y/N) smiled kindly at the ginger.

"Nonsense! You know mum loves to have you over and i wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you there."

"Plus me and Ginny could use some more girl company around, we need all the help to stop these two from getting in trouble," Hermione added. She playfully pushed (Y/N)'s shoulder, making them both chuckle for a bit, time in which Harry finally broke his silence.

"And I'm sure theres someone else who'd love to have you there," he muttered in a whisper soft enough that only Ron heard him over the laughter of the girls. He elbowed Harry, shooting him a warning glance. The brunet shrugged, but kept silent all the same.

"See?" the youngest Weasley boy started, "you have to come. My mum's gonna kill us if we destroy something again. And i do mean anything."

"I'll... I'll think about it," (Y/N) offered shyly. As much as she wanted to go, she felt like she would intrude. But there was something really pushing her to go. Or rather someone...

After a while, the girls were settled in their beds, ready to sleep, or at least (Y/N) was. Hermione seemed to be in the mood for a bit of an interrogation.

"So what's the real reason you don't wanna come?" the young witch asked.

(Y/N) laid quiet for a moment, unsure of the answer herself. She reflected silently. Her parents were more than willing to let her spend Christmas at the Burrow, her closest friends would be there. So why was she refusing really? She didn't have a reason other than the feeling that a certain brother of Ron's, Fred, to be more specific, didn't want her around.

It all started during her visit the previous summer. The holiday was coming to an end and Harry had just arrived at The Burrow. The younger Weasleys, Hermione and (Y/N) spent most of their time together till that point, but when Harry arrived, his 3 best friends spent the rest of the evening with him. Catching up, making jokes and whatnot. Night fell quickly and while the other 3 weren't as tired, (Y/N) managed to fall asleep, right on Harry. They didn't have the heart to bother her until Fred woke up, coming downstairs.

"I should take her upstairs" the twin said, making the others turn to him.

"No, it's ok. I don't mind it," Harry smiled, his arm resting around (Y/N).

"Nonsense," Fred scowled, not leaving Harry any room for protest, before scooping (Y/N)'s sleeping figure off the bed and carrying her to Ginny's room.

The next day, (Y/N) woke up surprised to find herself in bed and even more surprised to find out Fred was the one who brought her there. She went to thank him, finding him eating breakfast, but he barely acknowledged her.

"No worries," he nodded, not even glancing up from his plate.

And from then on, what was quite a beautiful friendship turned into distance between the 2. (Y/N) never understood, Fred never gave her time to ask.

The (H/C) girl was brought back from memory lane by Hermione's words.

"Will you answer before I die of old age please?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Hermione. I don't have an actual reason."

But Hermione knew better than that. It was with good reason she was comsidered the brightest witch of her age.

"I'm sure Fred wouldn't mind if you'd come. And even if he does, the rest of us want you to come. So please, change your mind. Please? For me at least?" The brown haired girl begged.

(Y/N) smiled. She knew her best friend would put her thoughts into words better than herself. But she still felt bad. After all, she didn't even know what she did.

"I don't know, Hermione, I don't wanna make empty promises."

The room fell into silence soon after, both girls too tired to go on.

The next day came and went faster than expected, and soon dinner was served. With Hermione's words from the previous mind still on her mind, (Y/N) realised she haven't seen Fred the entire day. She scanned The Great Hall for him, but there was still no sign of the redhead.

"Where could he be?" she wondered, seeing his twin a few chairs away, seemingly not missing his brother.

Her question got answered shortly afterwards though, when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"May I speak with you?" Fred asked.

(Y/N) nodded and hurried to follow Fred, who was already halfway out the door. She followed him to their common room, not making a sound.

Fred sat down on a couch, motioning for (Y/N) to sit next to him.

"My mum asked about you again," he said. "She wants to know why you arent coming over for Christmas."

"Oh, it's just... you already have guests and there would be so many people, i don't wanna be a b-"

"I talked to Hermione," he intervened,"She told me why you don't want to come."

(Y/N) blushed, that meant he knew he's the sole reason. And the sad tone in his voice only made the girl feel worse.

"I don't wanna be there if it troubles you in any way."

"It doesn't, (Y/N), and I'm sorry if that's the impression I gave you." For the first time in months, Fred turned his head to look (Y/N) in her eyes. "I promise you, that's not it, I'd love it if you'd come."

"Looks like quite the opposite to me," (Y/N) frowned.

Fred let out a puff of air as he looked down at his hands. He knew well how he's been acting with (Y/N) these past few months. Though he wouldn't admit it, he was ready to flee even then from the room, go away, as far away as possible from the younger girl. Poor (Y/N) had no idea how hard it has been for Fred. Keeping himself away from someone he actually cares about was just as hurtful for him as it was for her. But he couldn't let himself fall into unrequited feelings. He remembered when things started to change.

It was the end of July and they were all home at the Burrow, when someone knocked on their door. He opened it to reveal a sun-kissed (Y/N), with a big smile on her face, a smile that gave him butterflies. Her eyes shinning bright, her rosy cheeks, everything about her, it changed everything for him. The child- his little brother's best friend- had disappeared and instead there stood (Y/N) in a whole new light, transformed into a guilty dream, an innocent desire for romance, all with one look. She hugged him and for a moment he wasn't at the Burrow anymore. He was in his own mind-made world, just for the two of them. The moment lingered for a just a bit, not nearly enough, and he was abruptly brought to reality by Ginny's excited screams, by the loss of (Y/N)'s arms around him as she hurried to Ginny.

Fred wanted more moments like these. He spent his summer longing for them, doing everything in his power to get them. Day by day, he grew more fond of (Y/N), day by day he observed her, gazed at her like she was a piece of art, never to be touched.

One evening, after the house had quieted down, Fred and his mum cleaned up after dinner in amiable silence for a while until she broke the silence. "Young love," she said, looking up at him, "it is the sweetest of all."

"Hmm?" Fred turned to face his mother.

"I know my children, Fred, and I watch over them. A mother's eyes see things others can't."

Fred continued to look at Molly, unsure of what she was talking about.

"Go talk to her, Fred, you can't just watch her like she's gonna fall into your arms." His mother laughed, but her son was far from laughter.

He froze as realisation dawned upon him. That was it. Infatuation. He had fallen for (Y/N) and he'd fallen hard. And oh, how his dreams shattered now, as it all turned to reality. His little dream was now this cruel world and he couldn't bring it here.

His thoughts wandered for some time before he heard Molly's voice, loud enough to bring the whole house downstairs.

"Harry, dear!"

It was a few hours later and Fred couldn't sleep. (Y/N) wouldn't leave his mind, but not in the same fairytale way it did before. Concerns about what he could do, what she would do if she knew- all of these imagined scenes kept him restless and wide awake.

Maybe a glass of water would help, he thought and so he made his way downstairs. And what he saw made his stomach hurt just enough to be a bother. He knew Harry and (Y/N) better than to think anything of it, but someone touching her, being so close to her, someone who isn't him, pained him.

"Bloody jealousy."

"Jealousy? Who are you jealous of?" (Y/N) asked in confusion, bringing Fred out of his thoughts. Fred swallowed dryly, realising he'd said that out loud. He didn't know if now was the right time to share his feelings or not.

Luckily for him, a commotion could be heard very close by and soon the door to the common room swung open.

"Fred!" He heard his twin brother yelling his name, giving him a chance to swallow his feelings just a little longer.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N), i gotta go. But please reconsider coming over for Christmas. I'd love it if you would join us."

And with that he exited the room, leaving (Y/N) as confused as ever and he, conflicted and at odds with himself. But it could wait. He had waited until then, what's a few more days, weeks, months. Perhaps it would pass...

________________________________________

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you'd like a part 2.

Requests are open, just send me what character you want and a prompt as long or short as you'd like!

D.

[writingsbychlo]

sun in the shadows (03)

word count; 12,706

summary; trying to make some headway on the study leads to an interesting revelation, and progress in your friendship with noah.

notes; if this part is a little sucky, I apologise. it was a last minute addition that I created because I realised I wanted to include some extras.

warnings; brief mentions of panic attacks/anxiety, but it’s very mild.

The weather was improving, the drizzle of the winter and the grey skies overhead were getting lighter, the showers of rain were getting less frequent and the winter was moving on. Spring was making itself known, bulbs of daffodils were finally taking root in the soil, and green was sprouting from the earth that had been frozen over and dead only a couple of weeks ago. The watery floors were drying up, limited ice was fading away, and graduation was sitting right on the horizon for you all.

Your fingers flexed around the strap of your bag, rooting through the contents to find a place to slip your file inside, all your notes for the class you’d be having were inside, and there was a blank page for your next session waiting to be filled out. Once it had its place, albeit getting a little bit crumbled against the other content, you removed your wallet, a few coins jingling in the bottom, and you hoped it was enough for two coffees.

There was a coffee stand not too far away, and you were hoping an extra shot of coffee before you went in might get your brain working a little faster. Only a couple of feet ahead of you was a face you recognised, a dark jumper to match dark denim jeans, a pair of boots for motorbike riding that were beginning to scuff along the edges and the toes. He was hanging over his money, a brown bag holding a pretzel and a tall cup, the tell-tale tag of a teabag hanging over the edge, and he walked away.

Joining the back of the line, you watched him go, sitting not far across the quarter with his headphones on, settling on one of the recently repainted memorial benches. He pulled the tab on eh coffee back, opening it up and a cloud of steam left the drink, curling up into the air that still held a slight chill, drifting away to disappear as he blew against the surface of the drink. In his other hand was his phone, scrolling aimlessly on it as a way to keep himself disconnected from everyone else around him and prompt nobody else to join him. His bag was out on the bench too, pushed a short distance from his body in an attempt to take up the rest of the space to deter company.

Ordering a simple set of black coffees, and finding you had just enough change for a muffin too, you waited patiently for your order, an assortment of condiments and the double-chocolate treat you’d paid for being handed to you first. There was a grinding, the slight screech of the machine as it crushed the beans to create two black coffees for you, plastic lids sealed on and two cardboard jackets fastened around them.

Balancing the load between them all, you headed over to him, using your knee to nudge the bag up the bench until it bumped his leg, and he jerked slightly, looking up to see you. Offering him a beam, his narrowed eyes lightened a little, and he sighed. Putting down his phone and moving his bag to the floor, he lifted the headphones away from his ears, and let them hang around his neck. Sitting yourself down, he slumped back into the wood, and you scooted up to sit closer to him, placing the spare coffee you’d bought for Stiles on the floor away from your feet.

“Hey, Noah!” He gave a short nod, still a little uncomfortable, and he turned to face you more. “So, what’s your schedule looking like this afternoon?”

“How did you know I was here?”

You shrugged, opening up the bag of extras and searching through for a couple of sweetener packets, and a wooden stirrer. “I didn’t. I was just gonna’ grab a coffee before class and head to my hall early, because, y’know, studying at home is distracting.” Your hand waved off the statement, finding the packets you wanted, and clutching your cup between your knees for stability. “So, anyway I was going to text you when I got there, but then I saw you, so I figured I’d come and say ‘hey’!”

“Right.”

“So, hey!” You waved a little before taking the top from your coffee, and leaving it on the bench beside yourself. “I ask once again, what’s your schedule looking like this afternoon?”

“Well, since I am the most popular guy at this college, I’m pretty busy.” He smiled a little at his own joke, particularly when you gave him a laugh, and your brow raised.

“Oh, he’s got jokes today, huh? I like it, I can roll with that.” Tipping the sugar into the cup, you added a couple of packets, before stirring it slowly. “I take it you’re free, then. I was hoping we could squeeze in some study stuff this afternoon. I have a class in a couple of minutes, but I wanted to see if you were free?”

“Well, I’m free all day. I had a six AM class.” His face screwed up at the idea, and you could feel his pain, having spent the entirety of your sophomore year with a teacher who held lectures at six AM so she could avoid her morning sickness before class, and rush home for it afterwards. Professor Anderson going off on her maternity leave was the best thing that had happened to your education that year.

“Great, I’ll sort it with Stiles, and we’ll text you the details.”

“Sounds like a thrill. I can hardly wait.” He smiles, the sarcasm just like his brothers as it came through, and you repaid him for the joke with a chuckle. While the two of you had made progress, you could tell he was still a little unsure around you. You were polar opposites and he didn’t take well to that, the atmosphere that you brought with you could be a little too much for him to handle sometimes, you couldn’t stop the guilt that was eating at you a little. “What’s wrong? You’ve got a look on your face like you want to talk about things. Just warning you, I’m not good at that heart-to-heart stuff.”

“Yeah, I’ve witnessed that.”

“Shut it.” He teased, sticking his tongue out at you childishly, and you grinned cheesily in reply to him. “You can tell me, though. Can’t promise I’ll help, but..”

“It’s nothing weighing me down. I just wanted to apologise. I clearly interrupted your free time. You got yourself a little pretzel to eat in silence, and everything.” He offers you a blank look at your slight dig, and you only winked, waving the muffin in a bag that you’d bought, and taking a sip of your coffee once the lid was sealed back on. “People usually like it when I stop by to see them, I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay, really.” His words were strained, the response bringing you no relief as he forced them out, and your frown remained. “I’m serious, okay? It’s alright.”

You were trying your best but learning the lines with Noah was different to you. Upon starting college you’d been thrown in at the deep end of socialisation and a whole world you’d never quite had access to before. Coming from a smaller town that had always limited your expectations was tough, and you’d taken it differently from the way Noah had. You’d had so many experiences, becoming legal to drink and venturing beyond your comfort zone, truly leaving home and facing the idea of having your life laid out before you, the first time truly having your heartbroken, and being too far to simply collapse into the arms of your mom or dad for support when things got messed up.

“When does your class start?” You jumped, lost in your thoughts as you slumped back into the bench, and you sat up straight again, turning to find that Noah was already looking at you, eyes scanning over you slowly. It was a good reminder, time had been slipping away from you and in the ease of his peaceful and quiet company, you could have sat there for hours.

Checking your watch, you sighed, lifting your bag strap back up onto your shoulder more securely, and packing everything you had with you inside, leaving you to hold a coffee cup in each hand. “In about ten minutes.”

“How about I walk you?” He picked up his bag, swinging it over his shoulder, and you nodded, a warmer feeling at his offer blooming where cold guilt had been. Standing up and making sure not to spill any of the scalding coffee onto your hand. Peering around the busy campus quarters that was more filled now than it had been for months, the lighter weather tempting groups to come out of their dormitories and the cafés to gather outside instead.

He fell into step beside you, toes scuffing occasionally on the slightly uneven stonework of the quad, before it fell away into smooth concrete pathways on the way to your lecture. The grass alongside each path was growing greener, dull colour fading away into something brighter. Paper crinkled beside you, the cup of tea in his hands being finished and the cardboard cup was crushed between string fingers, knuckles even paler than usual as he crumpled it up, and as you approach the closest bin, it was disposed of.

Your fingers flexed around your coffee cup, almost having forgotten that it was there as the heat from the two began to fade away a little. Taking a sip, the refreshing burst of sweetened caffeine was like a spark to your system, and you revelled in it. “How do you take your coffee?”

You lower the cup from your lips, swallowing your mouthful, and you couldn't stop the rise of your brows once you turned to look at him. “Creamer, usually. I like a caramel flavoured one. But, since I’m not big on creamer in packets or from street vendors, this one just has sweeteners.”

“Cool.” He nodded, and your lips pressed together tightly to try and contain the smile you wanted to let free, silence forming between you both for a moment, a further gathering of steps as the two of you went on, your building coming into sight again. “Did you watch the news last night?”

“Is this small talk?”

“It’s an attempt at small talk.” He winced, and you chuckled, a small smile on his features as the fear of judgement or humiliation washed away, and he gave a sigh.

“Okay, let's try this.” Your mind spun, searching for a track of something to talk about, and a thought clicked into space. “If you could watch one genre of movies for the rest of your life, what would it be?”

“Comedy. Like, comedy-action. You know, ones like ‘Jumanji’ or something?” He was quick with it, certain about his answer, and you nodded.

“Yeah? That was quick. How come you’re so sure?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, one hand coming up to hold his bag strap, swinging it to the side to be able to get inside, and fish out the paper bag with a pretzel inside. “I guess I just think they’re good for you. Good for the soul. They have action and it keeps you a little on the edge of your seat, but it’s funny. It's easy-going, when you’ve got anxiety, or you’re having a bad day, or you just want background noise, they’re perfect.”

“Alright. Fair enough. Okay, tricky one.” his eyes narrowed a little, but an amused look passed over his features while he waited. “If you had to choose specifically between comedy and action, which is it?”

“It’s got to be action. Because comedy usually means Adam Sandler or Seth Rogen, and some of their comedies are good, but some are jus-” He paused, jaw dropping a little, and his hand came out, pausing in front of your to bring you to a halt too. A smile curled on your lips, and he looked shocked. “Holy shit, you’re good!”

“Ask a basic question that people are passionate about, it always leads to more options, and everyone always wants to talk about something fun.” His head shook slowly, as though he was in disbelief, and you took a dramatic bow, trying not to spill the coffees in your hands as you giggled. “Give it a go, I bet you can do it.”

The paper in his hands crinkled, your footsteps taking up again, and the two of you were making your way towards the building once again. Taking a bite from his pretzel, a piece torn away with his teeth, he thought it over. “Does your family have any secret or ‘famous’ recipes?”

“Oh, that’s a good one. Kudos to you, Noah.”

“Thank you. I thought about it for, like, eight whole seconds.” He grinned, the joke moving away from you both as you left it behind, and you thought about his question.

“Maybe it’s not my family recipe, just a personal one, but I’m great at making lasagne.” He scoffed, and you nudged him with your elbow. “I’m serious! I make a great lasagne!”

“You don’t seem like a cook to me, is all! You seem like the sort of person who’d manage to burn a pit of water.”

“You can’t burn water, an.. oh, I just got it. You jerk.” It was a joke, your nose screwing up as you stuck your tongue out at him, thanking him a second later as he held the door open for him. The bright lights of the outside changed to artificial lights in the halls, not as much coming through the windows as trees outside managed to cast shade into the building. “Well, I can cook. I love to cook, and I’m good at it. Especially lasagne. My family are generally the only ones who have ever had it, and thanks to that insult, you’ll never have it.”

“Oh, woah, no! You have to let me try it now. Prove me wrong, or I’ll be forced to believe you’re bluffing.”

“You’re sneaky.” You scoffed, students filling the hall and filtering in from different sides of the building, lectures in different halls all waiting to take place, and you stepped to the side of the corridor once your doorway was within reach. “If you’re lucky.”

“I’m betting on that.”

Glancing back, Stiles was already inside, as expected. Stiles Stilinski had never once been on time, he was either twenty minutes early or twenty minutes late, and since he’d spent the night with Derek, who was an early bird, you’d figured which one today would be. His head was slumped on his hm half-asleep and on the verge of drooling as he sat there, and you chuckled, turning to Noah. “Thanks for walking me. Also, thanks for small-talking with me.”

“Thanks for the advice on small talk.”

“I’m gonna’ head inside, but, I’ll see you later, okay?” He nodded, confirming the times with you, and lingering a moment longer. It was quiet, but not so tense, and he rolled on the balls of his fete, the half-eaten pretzel in his hands was seemingly abandoned as one hand tucked into his jeans pockets, the other hanging limply while holding the delicacy by his side.

“Thanks for sitting with me. This wasn’t so bad. It was almost fun.”

“You know, one day, you’re gonna’ tell me you had fun with me. I look forward to that day.” He smirked, your head tipping to the side at the expression.

“If you’re lucky.” He was repeating your own words back to you, and you beamed at the chance. Backing away from him slightly, you fixed him with the cheekiest glance you could as you walked through the doorway.

“I’m betting on it.”

You could hear his laugh once you were gone, into the classroom and beginning to take the steps up to a seat beside Stiles that he’d reserved for you, his bag sitting on it. He’d already gotten his equipment out, notepads and pencil laid out in a somewhat organised mess on top of the desk.

Placing the two coffees down, you moved Stiles bag to the floor, tucking it behind his chair and a soft snore made itself known from him, the boy not doing well with early mornings but he never had, not once in your years of knowing him had he handled it very well, so it was no surprise.

“Opening up your bag, you dropped your notebook down onto the surface with a loud ‘slapping’ sound, and he jerked upwards, flailing as he did, and almost knocking the coffees over. Blinking quickly and shaking sleep away, he looked around, eyes wide as he finally focused on you.

“Jesus Christ, don’t do that.” He chastised you, leaning back in his seat and holding a hand over his heart. “I was dreaming about high school, I thought you were my lacrosse Coach waking me up for falling asleep in class again.”

“Maybe I am.” You winked, slamming a hand down on the counter. “Drop and give me twenty, Stilinski! Right now!”

“Don’t do that, it’s eerily accurate.” He cringed, shuddering a little, before a wide smile replaced the horrified expression that had morphed, and you pushed a coffee over to him. “You brought me a coffee?”

“Yes, I did. It’s bribery.”

“Oh? What am I being bribed for?” He was curious, rooting through the bag of condiments for it and taking the plastic lid from the cup, steam curling out into the air. Taking an ungodly and certainly unhealthy amount of sweetener and sugar packets to load into his coffee.

“Your free time this afternoon. I’m thinking about getting some of my study done, I can get all the work for the next couple of sessions sorted now, but how do you feel about being asked some later?” He tipped them in, a drop of coffee flying up over the edge and landing on the desk as he stirred his drink with vigour, that same hyper excitement that he always had.

“Can’t I just fill them out now?”

“It’d be better if I could get your responses with Noah.” He sighed, rolling his eyes and making a scene of it, but there was a smile that told you he already agreed.

“You should have brought me two coffees, but fine.”

You let out a victorious ‘aha!’, and shook the little brown paper bag that was still sitting on your half of the desk at him. “I also brought you half of a muffin!”

“Only half of a muffin?”

“Well, it was none, but since I didn’t eat it yet and I’d feel bad eating it in front of you, I decided to share it.” You tore it in half, pushing half across the scratched and vandalised wooden surface to him. Crumbs were left along the surface, and Stiles pressed the pad of his finger along them to gather them all up.

“Oh, right. Well, in that case, what I meant was; wow, a full half of a muffin!” He cheered, much more enthusiasm, and you nodded.

“Much better.” At the front of the classroom, your tutor entered, door slamming behind him as he kicked the wedge out from underneath, and his case was placed down on the desk. The room began a hushed quiet, save for the loud slurping of Stiles with his coffee beside you.

“You know,” Your best friend didn’t understand the concept of a whisper, everything he did was more like a dramatic stage whisper on a Broadway show, and a few dirty looks were sent his way. The professor was used to this, a year of experience and advice from previous tutors guiding him to ignore Stiles’ fidgeting and chatter. “You’re going to have to convince Noah to do this.”

Slumping down in your seat a little more, you turned your head to him, nibbling on your half of the muffin. “I already did.”

“What?” This time he was hushed, the man standing at the front near his desk, trying his best to give extra advice to everyone and answer any common questions that he’d been emailed. You’d have to catch the after-class notes in your emails. “When d’you do that?”

“This morning before class. I saw him while getting coffee for you and we walked over.”

Stiles huffed, his brows being pulled together slightly. “Okay. Damn, he was my last free shot at getting the afternoon off.” You grinned, pinching at your friend’s cheek, and he smacked your hand away. “Quit it, I’ve told you not to do that before.”

“In case I pinch your moles off?”

“That's where my power is. My funny is in my moles.” He hissed, only making you laugh more, and you covered your mouth with your hand over his silly superstitions.

“Whatever, freak.”

“Hoe.” He snarked back, and you grinned, punching at his shoulder as best you could from this angle, and he reached up a hand to rub at it. “So, if we’re doing this, I at least want to do it at my place. I’m going out this evening, I gotta’ be ready. Derek’s sisters are coming up to visit.”

“It won’t take long, don’t worry.” He hummed, pulling out his phone and keeping it ducked from view. He was texting his brother, letting him know to be ready, and at what time your class would be ending, giving him a little time to prepare. Opening your book up and flicking to the page you had marked, it was a journal written about the study of the ways that twins raised in different households could grow up similarly, and you were hoping to adopt some of the content for your study.

“So, what’ve you got done so far?”

Stile sighed, flicking open his notebook, and you were shocked by the fact that he was already at the end of it. There were pieces of paper stuck in, a list of book references on one of the tabs down the side of a page, and only a few blank pages left at the back.

“Oh, wow, okay.” You stared at your notebook, barely reaching a quarter of the way through with the notes you’d been making, and it looked like Stiles was ready to start making progress towards a conclusion for his hypothesis. “So, you’ve got a whole lot done, then.”

“Yeah, well, I want to spend as little time in a prison as I possibly can.” He rubbed a hand over his forehead, the pages crammed full of information as he flicked through to find a blank one. “Plus, I didn’t want to go and interview inmates on my own, so I wait until Derek has free time to go with me, and I get as much done in those sessions as I can.”

“You’re gonna’ be done weeks before I am.” You pouted, your pen twirling at the top corner of a page, drawing a collation of pretty flowers to form a border, and he chuckled.

“I have easier test subjects than you do. They’re already guilty and behind bars, they’re more than happy to open up. You’ve gotta’ deal with Noah.”

“That’s true.” You grinned, thinking back on the conversation you’d had with the other twin that morning. When he was alone, it wasn’t so bad, he talked more and he wasn’t so worried about judgements, but as soon as there was someone else who might hear, he completely closed down.

“Hey, seriously, we have ages left. You’re gonna’ be just fine.”

“I’m just freaking out a little bit, because this is the last hurdle, y’know?” He nodded, and you could see whatever it was he was thinking practically swirling in his eyes, because Stiles’ emotions were open to read like a book.

“It’s terrifying. It’s, like, what the hell are we supposed to do when we finish?”

“I don’t know.” Your head dropped to your hands, fingers soothingly rubbing at your temples. A large hand landed on your back, rubbing in comforting circles. “What I do know, though, is that if I don’t get on with coming up with some more content, I’m never gonna’ finish this study in time.”

“Well, put your headphones on and come up with some questions.”

You did as told, plugging your earbuds in and choosing some classical music that would make it easier to concentrate. Opening one of your survey works back up to the page you’d left off at, your eyes began to flicker over the pages, picking out the useful information. Once you had a list built, you had a foundation to work from, questions to create and organise into groups, different sessions being able to come together.

Beside you, Stiles’ hand never seemed to stop rising, a constant dialogue with your tutor as he checked his work and ironed out any kinks in his study. He was also full of chatter and laughter, getting along with everyone around him and asking about their works, making you turn your music up several times just to be able to concentrate. But, by the end of the session, when Stiles was tugging your earbud out and telling you your class was over, you had a solid three pages worth of questions that had been split up into sessions, and ready to be worked through.

“Pack up and get ready to go. I have plans to get ready for.”

Stiles already had his bag in his arms, notebook tucked inside and pens and pencils put away, two empty coffee cups and a muffin wrapper sitting out, which he quickly gathered up, once his bag was on his shoulder. He was gone, walking past you and down to the waste bin at the front of the hall to dispose of them, his fingers tapping idly on his thigh once he was done.

You gathered your belongings, packing them away and curling the wire of your headphones back up neatly, making sure everything had its correct place in your bag, before following him down and out of the steps.

The halls were filled once again, the two of you navigating through crowds to the outside of the building, and you followed him in his diversion across the pathway, all the way to his car. Some students had already left, spaces beginning to empty out as a bottleneck effect took place at the only entrance and exit to this carpark.

“Where’s your car?” The dirty blue jeep was one of the only ones left in the parking lot, Stiles looking around for your vehicle, and you sighed.

“Don’t get me started on that hunk of junk.” You growled, stomping a foot on the floor as Stiles laughed. Opening the driver’s side door, he hopped up inside of it, legs dangling from the chair. “I’m trying not to use it as much. It splutters when it starts up and I have to try it a whole bunch of times, so the less I use it, the closer to graduation we can get before it eventually taps out.”

“You ever think about just getting it fixed?”

“Oh, big words from the man whose engine is held together with duct tape.” Your hand rubbed over the hood of the car, a slightly dusty layer that made you cringe, and you wiped your hand off on your jacket to stop it.

“Touché.” Stiles only smirked. “C’mon, I’ll give you a ride to my place. I’ll be waiting for hours if you walk.”

He slammed his car door once his legs were inside, leaning over the centre console to pop open the passenger side door as you rounded the car, and he was sparking up the car before you were even fully inside. Slamming it shut, he was reversing from his spot as you clipped in your safety belt, swinging his car around, and you gripped onto the edge of the door. “Easy there, fast and furious.”

“Oh, relax. Nobody is around.”

“Except for me, and I’d like to live until graduation.” His eyes rolled, hitting the brakes and flicking on the indicators as he was leaving the parking lot, moving out onto the main roads. There weren’t so many other cars, the mid-afternoon meaning the other students were mostly in class, in bed, or eating their lunch. College was a weird time, and while you’d loved it, you couldn't wait to regain some kind of normality. “Can we swing by my place? I need to swap out my books. I don’t want to carry all these around.”

“Okay, but be quick! I have to be ready by six and out the door by six-thirty. Derek will kill me if I’m late for this.” His fingers were tapping on the steering wheel as he changed direction to head to your place instead of his own. The space between you both was filled with the radio, the simple tunes of classic 70s anthems, the songs Stiles had grown up with, his dad’s favourite records and he played them constantly. He knew all the words, mouthing along and banging his head, pausing occasionally to check the mirrors and the roads between dancing in his seat.

Rolling the window down as he slowed in his approach to the building, afresh air swept into the carbon of the car, the slightly musty smell of the older car was something you’d miss when it was gone. The shade of the concrete cover overhead was chillier than the sunny roads, and he swung himself haphazardly into a parking space.

“I’ll turn the car around and wait here, cool?”

“I won’t take long, promise!” Hopping from the car and closing the door, you leant on the open door frame, and Stiles slouched in his seat, as he usually did. “Lydia and Ally should both be out, so there’s nobody for me to even talk to.”

“Good, because you’re chatty.” He teased, and you flipped him off, a quick walk as you headed away from him to the stairs. Once you were there, you were taking a quick jog up the sets of stairs, headed for your floor, and balancing your books in your arms carefully. Rooting through your bag to find your keys, they were at the bottom, jingling tantalisingly for you to find.

Leaving your books on the countertop of the kitchen, you shifted through them, taking the notebook you needed and leaving the rest, piling them back up and taking them to your bedroom Abandoned on the desk, you rushed to change, throwing on a bigger and warmer jumper to get through the rest of the day, phone in your pocket and a bag on your arm. Passing back through the kitchen, you were ready to grab the notebook and bag you’d left there, keys hanging in the back of the door, and you eyed the freezer.

You’d made a bet, a point to prove, and you were certain that buried somewhere deep in the bottom, you had a frozen lasagne from the last time you’d made it for Allison and Lydia. You had a few spare moments, and so you moved over to the freezer, opening the door and crouching to scan over all the shelves.

Running your fingers over frozen plastic, you searched for the right one. Tinfoil crinkling in the back, behind a bag of dinosaur chicken nuggets and a tray of alcoholic ice cubes, was a tray of lasagne. Pulling it out, the cold chilled your arm, even through the layers of your hoodie, and you used your foot to close the freezer while wrapping the tray in the nearest tea towel for an extra layer.

Placing your notebook over it and holding it in both arms for security, you clicked the latch onto the door, keys in your pocket and bag on your shoulder to let it swing closed behind you.

Stiles saw you coming, his head snapping over to the metal door between the stairwell and the parking lot when it fell open, backing through it and his brows raised. Opening up the passenger side door, he took the lasagne from you when you handed it over, climbing back into the vehicle.

“This is cold. What is it?”

“Lasagne.” You settled it onto your lap once your safety belt was on, folding the towel underneath to keep your lap from getting chilled and painful, and he nodded. The engine was still running, and taking off the brakes, he was pulling out of the space again.

“So, not that I don’t love a home-cooked meal, but I’m going out for dinner. Why the traybake?”

“I have a point to prove to Noah.” You were looking out of the window, but you could feel his gaze on you, making you a little uncomfortable, and you turned to face him. His eyes were flicking between you and the road, brows furrowed, a stare like he was trying to figure you out, before he let it go. “He told me I looked like I couldn't cook, and it’s a battle I’m going to win.”

“Well, alright then. Save me leftovers?”

“We’ll see.” You winked, and he grinned, eyes flicking to the tray in your lap, before back to the road.

It was only a short journey, the distance between your place and Stiles’ building was short for a walk and even shorter in a car, on the edges of campus and conveniently placed, and it had been one of the building blocks of your friendship with him An easily accessible study partner, somewhere to hang out with, someone to walk home with you after a night out, someone to share a cab with, or simply knowing there was a friend so close to you.

“It’s going to be weird not living around the corner from you in just a few months.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” He sighed, pulling into his one building sparking area and it didn’t have the luxury of being covered or underground, it was exposed each flat having allocated parking spaces, and Noah’s bike was parked underneath the shelter, you could see it from here, with a clamp around the wheel and covered from the impending and risky weather of the early months. “I have a feeling that you’ll end up living next door to me someday.”

“You do?”

He parked the car, arm behind your head as he reversed into it, ready to make a quick getaway on the next morning, or this evening, when he would invariably be late. In true Stiles Stilinski style. “Yeah. Especially after I rock whatever gown you want me to wear for being your maid of honour, someday.”

“Lydia is going to fight you for that role.”

“I will fistfight her for it.” He challenged, and you grinned, clambering down from the car as Stiles had parked a little too close to someone else on your side. With your bag on your shoulder and lasagne in one hand, you tried to squeeze around the door without scratching someone else’s paintwork.

Stiles’ arm was slung over your shoulder as you set off toward the building, the elevator being fully functional, and it was a refreshing change not need to take the stairs up to your place, or risk your life in a rickety elevator.

Throwing his keys down on the kitchen counter, they slid all the way across and to the other side, hitting the floor, and he grimaced when you turned to stare at him. “I’ll pick those up later.”

“Uh-huh.” The sounds of video games and music were coming from behind Noah’s door, though it wasn’t fully closed, only pushed halfway, and you hoped that was a sign that he was still in a good mood. Leaving your bag on the edge of the couch that was facing away from you, your hands rubbed together, glancing around at the environment you were still getting used to. “You should put this lasagne in now, so that it’s ready for after the study. Medium heat, leave the full-on tight.”

“Where are you going?”

“To say ‘hey’ to your brother.” Stiles’ face scrunched up, a mumble of ‘good luck’ as he picked up the tray, lifting it over his head to look in at it from underneath. Wandering toward the sounds coming from the hall, you knocked on the edge of the door, pushing it open a second later when you heard the game pause, and the music following it. Leaning on the doorframe, Noah turned to face you, brows raising slightly, and he shifted in his chair. “Hey.”

“Hi. It’s, uh, time for the study stuff, then?”

“Yeah. You okay?” He shrugged, turning back to his game and closing it off, leaning forwards from where he was sat on his bed enough to turn the console off.

“I didn’t realise we’d be doing it here. It feels more personal, somehow.” He had a large hoodie on, comfortable in his own clothes as he wore a baggy and warm outfit, the same way you often had when everything started to feel overwhelming.

“Well, this study is going to get pretty personal.”

“I know that. It’s just that right now, it feels a bit like I’m naked, y’know?” You chuckled, a momentary smile on his face flashing past, and you were glad to see it. “I just feel exposed.”

“This study is gonna’ do that, but I promise that I’ll try and make it as easy as I can. I’ll break it up, I’ll make it comfortable for you, and we’ll stop whenever you’re getting overwhelmed.”

“That’d be great, actually.” His hands rubbed together, sleeves hanging slightly down over his palms, and he looked a whole lot less terrifying right now than he did with the armour of a bike and a leather jacket. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Good, because I need you in high spirits. I brought a lasagne and I have a point to prove.”

You backed out of the room as he advanced toward you, the door closing and leaving you both standing in the hall, and he smirked down at you a little, a disbelieving expression. “You really brought that?”

“You bet I did. It’ll be ready by the time we finish.”

“Then I guess we’d better get started, huh?” He hopped over the back of the couch, settling in beside his brother, who scowled at him as his drink spilt down his shirt from the impact. Taking a seat on the other side of them both, your legs folded underneath yourself in the armchair, finding a glass of water laid out for yourself on the table, courtesy of Stiles.

They looked so different and yet so similar in this moment. You could understand how people may have confused the two of them before their styles became so radically different. In the beginning, before Noah turned to leather and a sleeve tattoo, when they both wore hoodies and band tees and had clean pale skin. With the sleeve of tattoos covered, and the pair both wearing hoodies, one with an etching across the front and the other with a faded logo from being washed one too many times,

Laying out your books, it was more of a note you’d keep to yourself, and following from that was your recorder, coated in the front pocket of your bag so as not to get crushed. Switching it on at the side, the red light flashed on to green blinking once to let you know it was active. “Can you guys do your confirmations for me while I get set up?”

“Surely can.” Stiles sat forwards, leaning down a little with his forearms braced across his knees, as opposed to Noah, who slumped back into the cushion. “Stiles Stilinski, happy to be recorded.”

“Noah Stilinski, aware of being recorded.” Stiles rolled his eyes at his brother’s dead tone, clearly not having as much fun as Stiles was, but you didn’t blame him.

“Okay, so, why don’t you guys tell me what it’s like to live together at college.” There was a beat of silence, and then a set of matching laughs from both of them, the two starting at one another. There was a look between them, one you didn’t quite understand, and it seemed like some kind of twin-telepathy communication.

“It’s, like, exactly the same as when we were in high school.”

“Uh, what?” Stiles interjected, and Noah turned to look at him. “It’s nothing like high school!”

“Yes, it is!” Noah insisted, and you smirked, picking up your water and taking a sip as the two stared in shock at one another. “We lived together in high school, we played video games, I did all the cooking and you did all the cleaning while dad was at work. The only thing that is different is that we can’t cheat from one another’s homework anymore.”

“We don’t drive to school together anymore, we’re on opposite sides of campus!”

“That so doesn’t count.” Noah scoffed, and Stiles twisted on the couch, his hand gestures much more emphasised than that of his brother’s and you watched the debate go down. “You can’t name any more than that.”

“I take that as a challenge.” Stiles’ head rolled side to side. “Our schedules don’t match up anymore, and we haven’t had our usual movie nights in almost six months now. I can’t bring Derek over because your room is right across from mine-”

“My room was across the hall from you at home. You just didn’t date in high school or have anyone to bring home.”

“Low-blow. Unlike some people, I didn’t want to traumatise my brother in high school by bringing someone home, for that.” Stiles reached out mid-sentence, swatting at his brother’s shoulder, before continuing; “Uh, let's see. Oh! We don’t talk anymore, you didn’t ride your motorbike so much at home, you used to ride in the jeep with me. It’s like a totally different world now.”

“I didn’t know you felt like that.” There was a palpable kind of feeling in the air, something between them that was sizzling with electricity, before Stiles sighed.

“It’s no big deal. The difference is just that we’re both so busy now.”

“That was really good, actually. Thanks.” The two seemed to have forgotten you were there, both flinching and turning to face you again, matching sets of honey-coloured eyes in varying shades were fixing on you again. “Speaking of what you said, though, does it ever make it hard for you guys when your class times are so different?”

“Hard to do what?” Stiles squinted at you, face set in a frown that his twin normally wore.

“Hard to hang out, talk, have that whole brotherly bond going on.” Your clarification did little for Stiles, his brows still pulled tight and frown never moving, but Noah’s face smoothed out.

“Oh.. well, I g-”

“Totally.” Noah pressed, and once again, Stiles’ head whipped around to look at his brother. “Don’t look at me like that. You basically said it, anyway. We don’t talk so much anymore. We barely know each other. You don’t even tell me about your podcast, anymore.”

“You never listened!”

“You used to tell me your problems, not broadcast them to the world with jokes and humour! I missed two episodes, and you just stopped keeping me updated on it.” The moodier twin crossed his arms over his chest, and you swallowed thickly at the environment you had unwittingly created. “I don’t know. Just feels like we used to talk a lot more.”

They both went silent, and Noah shot you a pleading look, but there was something darker behind it. It almost felt venomous, angry or defensive, as though to say ‘I told you so’ about it being more personal now that they were home. Stiles was occupying himself with pulling a loose thread on their couch cushion out and making it that much worse, distracting himself from it all. “Well, how about something a little bit lighter. Just some questions about hobbies. Stiles, what inspired you to first start a podcast?”

“Well, as you know, I never stop talking.” He smirked, Noah laughing beside him, and just like that, the awkward air between them both was completely evaporated. “I had a lot to say, I had a lot to get off of my mind. At first, it was just to get my thoughts out there. It was kind of like a recorded journey for myself, and to share with my friends from back home. But, then other people started listening. I thought it was going to be the end of my college social life, a social life that I was developing for the first time ever, and they liked it. I was just talking into a mic and getting things off of my chest, making no sense while telling stories and bitching about my homework and suddenly I had friends. It got a whole lot of followers and I made new friends,”

He paused, offering you a wink for the comment, and you beamed.

“-and I was going to parties, I met my boyfriend at a pep rally, and everything just kinda.. blossomed. The more I got out of it, the more inspired I was to keep going. I ended up making multiple videos a week, all differently themed. Sometimes movie reviews, sometimes songs, sometimes just talking. That’s how ‘Mischief Mic’ was born.”

“Alright. That was awesome.” Stiles bowed as best he could from sitting on the couch, and reached over to take a sip of his drink. “Okay, Noah, have you got any hobbies that you didn’t have in high school that you found when you came to college.”

“Not really.”

“Not even one?” You pushed, and the arms folded over his chest tightened, his gaze going to the floor, socked toes pushing into the twist cable rug. He took his glass, swigging all of it, the water draining from the glass in nervousness, and you could hear the crickets inside your mind chirping to fill the silence that had formed.

“No. Not really. I’m going to get more water, feel free to continue.”

“Uh, okay.” You pressed your pen down into your paper, drawing a line through the question on your paper as you realised you’d have no answer to that question when you listened back on the tape at a later time. “Stiles, back to you, then.”

Your next question came, and went, and Stiles was more than happy to answer them. Occasionally, Noah would answer a question, you’d be able to pin him down long enough to get a straight answer out of him, but there seemed to always be something that he needed to mess with, or fix. Almost half of your questions for him had a line drawn through, and you would have to ask them another time, and get a whole extra session in without Stiles, dragging the study out.

It was going to take you twice as long to get through it all if every time you had to ask them separately, and had to spend your time trying to force him to sit and answer. You were missing half of the information that you needed to be able to compare to Stiles’ answers, you couldn’t answer without them.

The clock ticked by, leaving you with all of your questions for Stiles answered. On a blank page, while Noah had once again been tinkering with something in the kitchen, you’d rewritten up all over the crossed out questions that would still need answers. You had doodled on the corner again, waiting for him to come and sit back down, a collection of hearts and flowers, the occasional bee or ladybug, even a couple of misshaped stars, forming a banner across the top of the page.

When he finally came to sit back down, he huffed, eyes moving to the clock as though he was waiting for this to end just as much as Stiles was, and you gave up.

“Okay, how about we just finish this up?” You had reached the end of your tether, not even bothering with the rest of the questions that were written down for him. “We got almost two hours in, that’s perfect.”

Noah sighed, something like an apology in his look as your eyes met his and he shrugged lightly. Stiles only nodded, eyes flicking up to the clock on the wall, and he was grinning when he came back. Tearing a page out of your notebook for each of them, you passed it over, blank paper sitting before them, and you searched for a pen or pencil in the bottom of your bag for each of them. Placing your pen down before Stiles and a pencil in front of Noah, they both leaned forwards, picking them up. Switching off your recorder and packing it away, you were left with the two staring at you expectantly.

“Okay, Stiles, come fill yours out in the kitchen. You can’t discuss these ones.”

“Oh, some mystery. I like that.” He picked up his paper and pencil, heading over to the kitchen counter, folding the sheet in half as he did, and you nodded. Standing from your place behind the coffee table, your bag slumped a little more from where it had been propped against your leg.

“Okay, I want you both to try self-diagnosing yourself.” Stiles gasped, a little excitement lacing it, and his pencil was already moving over the paper. Noah, however, looked a little lost, looking to you for guidance. “Don’t worry, you don’t need to use professional terms, just, describe what you think, I’ll be able to figure it out, and if I can’t, I’ll ask you about it at some point.”

He nodded, pausing, not quite as eager to get into the activity as Stiles was, before the pencil finally met the paper, and the slow scratching of graphite over paper filled the silence.

Moving away to the kitchen, you searched for plates, and a dish, laying them out on the counter before moving to the oven. A wave of hot air into your face once you pulled the door open, and when it cleared, you search for the kitchen towel you’d brought with you. Wrapping it carefully around the edges of the tray inside, you pulled it out, resting it atop the oven and closing the door back up.

Flicking off the handles, the light inside went dead, and Stiles loomed up behind you. “Smells good!” He presented a piece of paper to you, your eyes flicking over what he’d written once you’d taken it from him, and everything that he’d written about himself seemed completely accurate. It wasn’t a surprising self-evaluation, Stiles had spent almost four years studying this, just like you had, and so it was bound to be accurate and professional. Even if his handwriting looked a little bit like chicken-scratch.

Noah was still working on his, and Stiles was picking at the edges of the tinfoil, trying not to touch the glass of the casserole dish and burn himself, and as soon as he had some foil pinched between his fingers, he was pulling it back. “Wait, Stiles, watch out for the-”

“Fucking steam! Oh, my God, that’s so fucking hot!”

His hand snapped back, half unpeeled as all the steam from inside clouded in the air, and his hand was clutched to his chest. He was glaring at the pot, before moving away and running his hands underneath the cold tap at the sink, his thumb rubbing over wet skin to soothe it.

A second later, Noah was appearing, placing his paper face down on top of Stiles, which now lay on the kitchen counter. “Well, now that I’ve been scalded by pasta, I’m going to go shower and get ready.”

“M’kay.” He backed away, and Noah leaned on the counter beside you.

“Looks good, but does it taste any good, is the question.” The twin you were left with was teasing you, your eyes finding him, and you raised a brow.

“Yeah, yeah. Just get me something to serve it up with, alright?”

He smirked, pulling open the drawer behind him and searching for a serving spoon. Slicing it into pieces, you dished it up for him, a large slab on a plate, still steaming with cheese that had only just stopped bubbling. He grabbed a fork, and one for you too, waiting patiently as you served yourself, and put whatever was left into a dish for Stiles, covering it back up and leaving it to cool.

“Okay, prepare for the best lasagne of your life.”

Picking up the papers and your plate, the two of you moved back to the couch, sitting opposite one another, and you waited with excitement. Taking a piece off of his plate with the edge of his fork, he raised it, blowing cold air over it for a few moments, before taking the bite. There was a tense few moments, while he chewed, face unreadable, before he was swallowing the mouthful.

“Well?”

You couldn’t take the anticipation any longer, a smile on his face at the desperation you showed for his answer, and he gave in. “Alright, alright. This may actually be the best lasagne I have ever had.”

“Yes!” Your hands went up in the air, cheering excitedly and he laughed at your reaction, holding his hand up when you forced him to, palms slamming together in a high-five. He was tucking in again, and you reached for your plate, excited for the meal you had made, Taking a large piece on the tip of your fork, you tucked in.

The sound of Stiles’ shower was running in the background, and he was singing loudly, a song that you were certain was a TV show intro but you’d never seen the show, and there was a chance it was something from Disney Channel. Picking up the pieces of paper again, you turned Noah’s around to face you.

You’d had an expectation, you knew what you thought he was going to write down, and yet you were somehow surprised and entirely not surprised at the same time. It was what you expected but with a twist. He had confidence in what he’d written about himself he was sure of it, and while there were definitely elements that you’d disagree with, there was a lot of truth to it, and you frowned, reading it again.

Noah was watching you do so, the scrape of forks over plates as the lull in chatter came back, and you place the two pieces of paper into the front of your notebook, making sure that it was all sealed tightly away. “Is it alright?”

“It’s just not what I expected from you. But, it’s perfect.”

“That feels like a backhanded compliment.” He smiled softly, but he looked nervous, and you shook your head.

“Not at all, it just means that you have a better grasp on this whole thing than I thought you did.” It was the truth, and while you didn’t want to reveal so much to him about it all without compromising your work, but it made sense. “It just feels like with the way today went, like you weren’t really so interested in it, so I didn’t expect such an accurate self-diagnosis from you.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” He sighed, pushing what was left of his food around the plate, and you copied him, appetite dwindling. “It’s just that when you’re here, in my apartment, and you’re asking questions about what changed and making me confront everything, it feels like real therapy. You said it was going to be casual, and this didn’t feel casual.”

“I get it. I really do, and it’s okay. I can just email you the questions you didn’t answer, and you can get around to them whenever you feel up to it, alright?” He nodded, shaking off the evening’s stress. He continued to eat, polishing off the meal that was laid out before him and settling his hands over his stomach once he was finished. There was a satisfied smile on his face, and your empty plate was soon stacking on top of his own. Leaning forwards a little, you caught Noah’s eye, and one of his brows arched up. “I can try to make it more informal, in the future.”

“That would be great, actually.”

You smiled, the consolidation made between the two of you, and your ears picked up on another sound. “Hold on, is Stiles blow-drying his hair?”

“Oh, yeah.” He laughed, head turning to the closed bathroom door where his brother resided. “He thinks it makes his hair fluffy.”

“He gels his hair, though! Why does it matter if it’s fluffy?”

“He’s insane. Don’t you know this, yet?” Noah scoffed, and your giggles carried you back into the rest of the chair as you settled back into it. The evening was still waiting to come in fully. Comfortable quiet fell between you both again, and Noah moved away to take the plates to the kitchen. He left them in the sink, water running to wash them up, before storing Stiles’ lasagne in the fridge.

The aforementioned boy moved from the bathroom to his bedroom, skidding on the floors a little and clutching the towel to his waist as he hurried, making himself late with the extra-long shower and the blowdrying of his hair. Noah was washing up the plates, leaving them to dry on the draining rack, and you took that as your cue. The night was over, that much was clear, and you’d be willing to bet that he was more than eager to get back to his alone time.

Taking your bag and double-checking that you had everything, you swung it up onto your shoulder, and made your way toward the door. Hearing the shuffling of your feet, Noah turned, drying his hands on the towel beside him. “Are you going?”

“Feels like I should. Stiles will be going soon, anyway. I’m sure you have things to do, too.”

“I don’t have anything to do, if I’m being honest.” He cringed at his own words, pulling down the rolled-up sleeves of his hoodie and making his way over to you. Undoing the catch on the door, he pulled it open, leaning against it and you linseed in the doorway.

“Since you’re not doing anything, do you wanna’ get a coffee with me?”

His eyes narrowed, just for a second, and his fingers tapped anxiously on the wood of the door. “As a study subject, or..?”

“As friends.” You confirmed, his lips a thin line for only a second, before pulling up at the sides in a smile.

“Then, yeah. I’d like that.” He looked down, sweatpants and mismatching socks on his lower half, and there was a tint on his cheeks when he looked up. “Just give me two seconds to go change, alright?”

He darted away before you had a chance to reply leaving you there with the words frozen in your throat. Stiles was clattering around behind his own door, and Noah’s door slammed shut, leaving you alone in the doorway. Your hands tapped against your thighs as you waited, bag swinging on your shoulder, and only a second later, one of the doors was opening.

To your surprise, it was Stiles, flapping the flannel on his body to shake out any creases, and he stood before you. Doing a little twirl from where he stood, he began to button it up down his front, looking somewhat smart. It was a nice black and white one, no rips or tears or stains like most of his other ones, and the black stood out prominently against the white, thick patterns with flecks of grey within it.

“How do I look, then?”

“You look great, Sti. I’ve never seen you wear anything so plain before. There’s no colour.”

“Yeah, well, this is a new flannel. It’s my best one, and the skinny jeans are Noah’s. All my skinny jeans are blue or red, it was this or khakis.” He was nervous, resisting the urge to mess with his freshly-styled hair. “The place we’re going to is kinda fancy, but I don’t feel fancy enough for it. I’m gonna’ do something stupid like drop my glass and smash it or make a joke about something dumb.”

“Haven’t you met his family before?” You teased, and he huffed, searching for his keys, and finding them under the counter where he’d never bothered to pick them up from.

“No, not really. I’ve met his mom because she comes to visit a lot, and of course, his little sister, because she’s a sophomore here. But, he has a lot of family. His extended family are coming to graduation, but this is his older sister and his dad, and his uncle, and I’ve never met them before.” His keys were tucked into his back pocket, and his phone followed, your gaze moving over him.

“You got a blazer, Stiles?”

“Uh, yeah. One that my dad made me promise to bring, I wore it to my senior prom.” He shrugged, hands smoothing over his front. “You think I should wear it?”

“Go get it, show me.” He nodded, moving back to his bedroom, and you were waiting for something with orange and blue stripes to come back out, which wouldn’t surprise you. In fact, you’d always imagined Stiles going to his senior prom in a Beetlejuice suit. Noah emerged from the other side of the hall, hangers scraping over their post in a wardrobe as Stiles searched for them. “Did Stiles go to prom in a Beetlejuice suit?”

Noah paused, rolling the edges of his hoodie up, charcoal grey skinny jeans that were only a  few shades lighter than the ones Stiles had stolen from him on his legs, and a pair of his usual scuffled boots. “What?”

He was laughing, loudly, shaking his head to hide his grin. “It’s a legitimate question! I have this mental image of it!”

“Unfortunately, he did not. My dad made us both go in three-piece formal suits. He saved up to have them custom made. Said that every man should have a smart suit.” He shrugged, crouching to start tying the laces on his shoes and Stiles reappeared. Over his shoulders was a dark black suit, crisp collar and pressed edges, and it was a beautiful piece of tailoring.

“You look good, Sti. Very smart, but casual. Like a polished version of your usual self.”

“Yeah? Good enough to meet Derek’s family?” His voice shook, and you wished you could ease him more.

“Totally. You look great.” He thanked you both, and Noah grabbed his wallet from the side, and his house keys, letting them both hang in the front pocket of an oversized hoodie.

“You ready to go?” He offered, hand on the top of the door, and Stiles’ head snapped up again from where he’d been checking his phone, presumably looking for texts from Derek.

“Where are you two going?”

“We’re getting coffee!” You beamed, and Noah nodded, stepping a little further out of the door with you.

“Oh, well, have fun. I’ll text you updates about how it goes. I might need bathroom-break pep-talk during the night.” You waved to him as you went, wishing him ‘good luck’, before the two of you were wandering down the halls. Thumbing the button for the elevator, the doors popped open, and you were stepping inside along with Noah.

“So, you wanna’ show off those new small talk skills to me, then?”

“Okay, okay. Let me think of something.” He hummed under his breath, glancing up to the top of the elevator and looking around at the posters on the walls for inspiration, and he seemed to find one. Turning his attention quickly back to you, you prepared for what he’d found. “Have you listened to any of the student bands? There’s been a lot of them growing, lately.”

“I’ve noticed that, actually.” There were several posters up around the inside of the elevator, different coloured flyers, some on shiny paper and some on smooth matte, varying fonts and designs, it was dizzying. “I haven’t, I’ve never been to see a student band. I should do that before I graduate, though. Have you?”

“I’ve been to a couple.” The door clicked open, the two of you stepping through it. Out into the setting chill of the evening that was threatening to break its way in. He chose the direction you’d be going in, heading toward the coffee shop on the side of campus that had been the first the two of you had met at when beginning the study. “Some of them are good, some of them are kinda’ average. They usually play at the bars on the edges of campus or in the places in the city, the less well-known, kinda’ alternative places. They can be fun.”

“You going out optionally to a night on the town? I’m shocked.”

“Uh, no!” He protested, grinning at you. “I’ve never been for a ‘night on the town’, and I never will. However, going to one of the few small bars around here that aren’t practically a nightclub, to listen to covers of good songs and get a pint without worrying about anyone bothering me or mistaking me for my brother, that’s nice.”

“Okay, well, maybe I’ll go to one sometime.”

“You should, I think you’d have fun.” The two of you weaved between other students, the small talk keeping up between you both as he did his best, and while it was sometimes a little stuttered and stalled, it wasn’t nearly as bad as you had expected. It wasn’t until the two of you had entered the coffee shop that he fell into tight silence again. The crowds, the rush of chatter from other groups gathered around the tables, and the friendly greetings of baristas whose chit-chat diverted to him due to his allegiance with you.

“What are you drinking? My treat.”

“Uh, just a black coffee.” He choked out, eyes flicking over all the boards, so many options up there, and you chuckled.

“Really, just a black coffee?”

“I’ve never really experimented. I just ordered whatever was the quickest and the easiest.” He confessed, already glancing back over his shoulder at the queue that was forming behind you both. “What would you recommend?”

“Hm, well, do you have a sweet tooth?” He only nodded, scratching around his cuticles on one hand and staring down at the flesh growing red, and you took his hand. Lowering it back down to his side, the hand formed a fist, flexed nervously, and you let it go, squeezing comfortingly first. Turning to the barista, she was still waiting patiently, and your eyes moved over the boards overhead. “Two mint and dark chocolate hot cocoas.”

“That sounds really good, actually.” He leaned down, mumbling the words into your ear to make sure you heard the quiet tone over the talk in the small coffee house.

“And, two croissants, too.” She rang it up on the machine, and you leaned in a little closer to her. “Do you have any of the warm and fresh ones straight from the oven?”

“We made a fresh batch about twenty minutes ago, they’re cooling. I’ll get them from the back for you.” She finished it with a wink, passing the card machine over to you once you’d produced your card from your wallet. Swiping it across the reader, you moved to the end of the line, and she moved away to begin preparing your order as someone else took over at the counter.

She was working, creating two beautifully constructed hot chocolates for you both. Placing them down on the counter before you, once they were garnished with chocolate sauce and whipped cream, she disappeared into the back room. Taking one of the ceramic plates with her, you were happy to see her bypass the glass cabinet with the older ones in, and only a moment later, she was coming back. Two fresh croissants on a plate, still warm and soft to the touch, and she handed those over as well.

Noah had been scouting for a place to sit, choosing which was the best one, and he carried both of the drinks while you carried the pastries, guiding you to the seat he’d chosen. It was tucked away in the back, a small loveseat sofa with a low sitting coffee table in front of it, and as soon as the paper cups were down on the surface of the table, he was dropping down into the seat.

“It feels like rush hour on the highway, but with coffee.” He mumbled, and you settled onto the couch beside him passing him his drink over, and he stared at it curiously. “What about the whipped cream. Do I eat that first? Scrape it off? Mix it in?”

“Any of the above.” You grinned, taking a wooden stirrer from the condiments tray in the middle and beginning to stir the cream into your hot chocolate. He placed it down, copying your actions, stirring slowly and trying not to spill any over the edges, but it was an impossible feat to achieve. Sticky droplets left over the edges of your cups and his, creating rings on the table that you had to mop up with tissues. “Okay, try it. This is one of my favourite orders here. It’s bitter because of the dark chocolate, but also sweet. Reminds me of you.”

“Now, that one is a backhanded compliment.” He muttered, taking a sip of the drink, and your lips rubbed together.

“Not everything is a backhanded statement, you know. I didn’t intend for it to be mean, it’s just the truth. You’re all dark and moody, but I can already tell you’re sweet on the inside.” You sipped your drink to finish your statement, and he filled the time where he didn’t know what else to say by pulling a chunk off of his croissant. Chewing on it idly, he settled back into the cushions, and you lifted your legs up to fold underneath yourself as you turned to face him. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You’ve already asked me a lot of questions today.”

“You didn’t answer many, though. You kinda’ have to give me this one.” He scowled falsely, but nodded, licking a flake of pastry from his lower lip. “Not that I think you need it, because personally, I think you’re just fine, but why are you so scared about therapy? The idea of it, anything to do with it, it makes you so closed off. Even more than usual.”

His eyes moved over the room, nervously, before scanning both you and the table, and you put your drink down, holding open palms up to him.

“No recorder, no study. I’m just curious.”

“Okay.” He sighed shakily, and slumped back. “Well, after my mom died, my dad made me and Stiles have therapy when we started acting out. We had a therapist who came to the house, and she was great, don’t get me wrong, but I hated it. I didn’t want her to tell me how to grieve or mourn, and I didn’t want her to tell me how to move on. Stiles needed all the advice he could get, but I didn’t want it. I wanted to do it my own way. Now, the idea of therapy, brings back all those feelings of sadness and pressure and stress.”

“I’m sorry, Noah.” You reached out, rubbing a hand over his shoulder, and his gaze fell to the contact. “Genuine sympathy and sorrow, not just that thing girls do that you hate.”

“Stop hanging things I’ve said over me, I don’t remember half of them. I blackout in social situations.” He grinned, moving past the moment, and you withdrew your touch.

“You know, if it makes you feel any better, I understand the nervousness of being in a study.”

“Yeah?” He picked up the rest of his croissant, a large chunk of it being eaten, as he waited for you.

“Yeah. When I moved here, I was so nervous. I was beginning to take my course and I didn’t really have any friends, and there was a senior who needed freshmen for her study.” Noah grinned, settling in for the story and sipping his drink. “She was doing a study about the difference between kids who travelled far from home for college alone as opposed to those who were still close to home, and whether it impacted social clubs, grades, all that. To be fair, it was an awesome study.”

“It sounds like it.”

You smiled, swirling the cup in your hands to gather any loose powder that may have begun to separate and gather at the bottom. “Well, I got drawn into it. She was a senior, and she was nice. I had no friends yet, I was in a flat-share with Allison and Lydia and three other girls who were all too busy getting adjusted to college themselves. So, this senior, she invited me to a party, and then another one, and suddenly people started wanting to be my friend because I was the freshman who hung out with seniors. I figured it would all drop away when her study ended and she didn’t need me anymore, but by then the whole social hierarchy had done its thing, and there I was.”

You shrugged, and Noah was hiding a shit-eating grin behind his mug. “So, you were just a little freshman lab rat, then?”

You scoffed, your laughter mixing with his, and the two of you were left in subtle amusement. His laughter was cut short, though, brought a rapid halt when a set of legs bumped against your table on the other side, followed by two more behind them.

“Hey, girl!” One of the girls on the cheer team, a lacrosse player behind her and a girl who you recognised from your psychology class texting on her phone. “Saw you over here, wanted to know what your plans for the evening were. We’re going to do some karaoke and get some food, you wanna’ come?”

Your eyes moved to Noah, whose attention was fixed on the floor again, as though the splintering wood was of utmost interest. “Maybe another time. I think we’re good here for now.”

“Oh, you sure? I think it could be super fun, you should both come.” The invitation was now extended to you both, and you shook your head at her despite it.

“Seriously, you should go, if you want to,” Noah whispered, and when you turned back to him now, he’d dared to look up, chewing on a lower lip that would go raw, but he met your gaze.

“No, I’m sure. I’m having fun here.” You held his gaze for a second longer, before turning to her, and confirming your denial, and she smiled, promising to make plans with you soon, before she was walking away. Noah was fidgeting beside you, shuffling in his seat, and you could practically feel the nerves rolling off of him in waves. “I’m serious, Noah. I’m having fun, and I’m perfectly happy here with you, right now.”

He was trying not to grin, a smile that was being bitten back on the inside of his cheek. “Well, for the record, I’m having fun too.”

“What was that?” You cupped your ear, challenging him to repeat it, even though you had heard it perfectly, and by the look on his face, he knew the game you were playing.

“I said I’m having fun. I won’t deny it.”

“Two victories in one day, for this gal. I’m breaking down all your walls, Noah Stilinski.” You poked at his cheek, and he swatted your hand away, taking a bite from your croissant as punishment, and you tried to snatch it back from him.

“Two victories, one loss. You’re not getting this croissant back, now.”