#I do not have the focus to make a very aesthetic post out of this

[palin-tropos]

Past & Future

(Disco Elysium / Heraclitus / "New River", "Constellations" - The Oh Hellos / With the peasants of Aragon - Augustin Souchy)

[maniculum]

Medieval Scorpions Effortpost

So yesterday I reblogged this post featuring an 11th-century depiction of the Apocalypse Locusts from Revelations, noting the following incongruity as another medieval scorpion issue:

The artist, as you can see, has interpreted "tails like scorpions" as meaning "glue cheerful-looking snakes to their butts".

Anyway, it occurred to me that the medieval scorpion thing might not be as widely known as I think it is, and that Tumblr would probably enjoy knowing about it if it isn't known already. So, finding myself unable to focus on the research I'm supposed to be doing, I decided to write about this instead. I'll just go ahead and put a cut here.

As we can see in the image above, at least one artist out there thought a "scorpion" was a type of snake. Which makes it difficult to draw "tails like scorpions", because a snake's tail is not that distinctive or menacing (maybe rattlesnakes, but they don't have those outside the Americas). So they interpreted "tails like scorpions" as "the tail looks like a whole snake complete with head".

Let me tell you. This is not a problem unique to this illustration.

See, people throughout medieval Europe were aware of scorpions. As just alluded to, they are mentioned in the Bible, and if the people producing manuscripts in medieval Europe knew one thing, it was Stuff In Bible. They're also in the Zodiac, which medieval Europe had inherited through classical sources. However, let's take a look at this map:

That's Wikipedia's map of the native range of the Scorpiones order, i.e., all scorpion species. You may notice something -- the range just stops at a certain northern latitude. Pretty much all of northern Europe is scorpion-free. If you lived in the north half of Europe, odds were good you had never seen a scorpion in your life. But if you were literate or educated at all, or you knew they were a thing, because you'd almost certainly run across them being mentioned in texts from farther south. And those texts wouldn't bother to explain what a scorpion was, of course -- everyone knows scorpions, right? When was the last time you stopped to explain What Is Spiders?

So medieval writers and artists in northern Europe were kind of stuck. There was all this scorpion imagery and metaphor in the texts they liked to work from, but they didn't really know what a scorpion was. Writers could kind of work around it (there's a lot of "oh, it's a venomous creature, moving on"), but sometimes they felt the need to break it down better. For this, of course, they'd have to refer to a bestiary -- but due to Bestiary Telephone and the persistent need of bestiary authors to turn animals into allegories, one of the only visual details you got on scorpions was that they... had a beautiful face, which they used to distract people in order to sting them.

And look. I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum, but I would say that a scorpion's face has significant aesthetic appeal only for a fairly small segment of the population. I'm sure you could get an entomologist to rhapsodize about it a bit, but your average person on the street will not be entranced by the face of a scorpion. So this did not help the medieval Europeans in figuring out how to depict scorpions. There was also some semantic confusion -- see, in some languages (such as Old and Middle English), "worm" could be a general term for very small animals of any kind. But it also could mean "serpent".* So there were some, like our artist at the top of the post, who were pretty sure a scorpion was a snake. This was probably helped along by the fact that "venomous" was one of the only things everyone knew about them, and hey, snakes are venomous. Also, Pliny the Elder had floated the idea that there were scorpions in Africa that could fly, and at least one author (13th-century monk Bartholomaeus Anglicus) therefore suggested that they had feathers. I don't see that last one coming up much, I just share it because it's funny to me.

*English eventually resolved this by borrowing the Latin vermin for very small animals, using the specialized spelling wyrm for big impressive mythical-type serpents, and sticking with the more specific snake for normal serpents.

Some authors, like the anonymous author of the Ancrene Wisse, therefore suggested that a scorpion was a snake with a woman's face and a stinging tail. (Everyone seemed to be on the same page with regards to the fact that the sting was in the tail, which is in fact probably the most recognizable aspect of scorpions, so good job there.) However, while authors could avoid this problem, visual artists could not. And if you were illustrating a bestiary or a calendar, including a scorpion was not optional. So they had to take a shot at what this thing looked like.

And so, after this way-too-long explanation, the thing you're probably here for: inaccurate medieval drawings of scorpions. (There are of course accurate medieval drawings of scorpions, from artists who lived in the southern part of Europe and/or visited places where scorpions lived; I'm just not showing you those.) And if you find yourself wondering, "how sure are you that that's meant to be a scorpion?" -- all of these are either from bestiaries or from calendars that include zodiac illustrations.

11th-century England, MS Arundel 60. (Be honest, without the rest of this post, if I had asked you to guess what animal this was supposed to be, would you have ever guessed “scorpion”?)

12th-century Germany, "Psalter of Henry the Lion". (Looks a bit undercooked. Kind of fetal.)

12th-century France, Peter Lombard's Sententiae. (Very colorful, itsy bitsy claws, what is happening with that tail?)

12th-century England, "The Shaftesbury Psalter". (So a scorpion is some sort of wyvern with a face like a duck, correct?)

13th-century France, Thomas de Cantimpré's Liber de natura rerum. (I’d give them credit for the silhouette not being that far off, but there’s a certain bestiary style where all the animals kind of look like that. Also note how few of these have claws.)

13th-century England, "The Bodley Bestiary". (Mischievous flying squirrel impales local man’s hand, local man fails to notice.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (A scorpion is definitely either a mouse or a fish. Either way it has six legs.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Wait, no, it’s a baby theropod, and it has two legs. (Yes, this is the same manuscript, that’s not an error, this artist did four scorpions and no two are the same.))

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Actually it’s a lizard with tiny ears and it has four legs.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Now that we’re at the big fancy illustration, I think I’ve got it — it’s like that last one, but two legs, longer ears, and a less goofy face. Also I’ve decided it’s not pink anymore, I think that was the main problem.)

13th-century England, MS Kk.4.25. (A scorpion is a flat crocodile with a bear’s head.)

13th-century England, "The Huth Psalter". (Wyvern but baby! Does not seem to be enjoying biting its own tail.)

13th-century England, MS Royal 1 D X. (This triangular-headed gentlecreature gets the award for “closest guess at correct limb configuration”. If two of those were claws, I might actually believe this artist had seen a scorpion before, or at least a picture of one.)

13th-century England, "The Westminster Psalter". (A scorpion is the offspring of a wyvern and a fawn.)

13th-century England, "The Rutland Psalter". (Too many legs! Pull back! Pull back!)

13th or 14th-century France, Bestiaire d'amour rimé. (This is very similar to the fawn-wyvern, but putting it in an actual Scene makes it even more obvious that you’re just guessing.)

14th-century Netherlands, Jacob van Maerlant's Der Naturen Bloeme. (More top-down six-legged guys that look too furry to be arthropods.)

14th-century Germany, MS Additional 22413. (That is clearly a turtle.)

14th-century France, Matfres Eymengau de Beziers's Breviari d'amor. (Who came up with that head shape and what was their deal?)

15th-century England, "Bestiary of Ann Walsh". (Screw it, a scorpion is a big lizard that glares at you for trying to make me draw things I don’t know about.)

I've spent way too much time on this now. End of post, thank you to anyone who got all the way down here.

[rubyreduji]

king size bed — kmg & jjk

summary: mingyu has a problem: he's in love with his best friend's girlfriend. but does it go deeper than that, in ways that maybe even mingyu doesn't realize?

tags: smut (minors dni!), p.rnstar!au warnings: gyu is kind of a perv, explicit unprotected sex, filming explicit content, sending nudes, masturbation, sexting, fingering (f. rec), oral (m. + f. rec), threesome, cuckolding, creampie, cum eating, hair pulling, double penetration, anal, kinda voyeurism, multiple orgasms, squirting, maybe mingyu is a little bisexual in this…for only a second wc: 10.1k  an: this idea came to me randomly and i quite literally ascended to heaven and then fell straight down to hell and produced this :D also this fic is very mingyu centric as it’s told in his pov (sorry armys who may find this)

Mingyu wants to go home.

Around him, the walls thump to the music blasting throughout the club. If this was four years ago and he was still in college this would be great, but it’s not. All Mingyu does is sit in a booth and stare at the dance floor, watching as the bodies grind up against each other.

The reason Mingyu is even out tonight is to try and find someone to take home, but he’s not in the mood. All of his recent hook ups have been unsuccessful and he’d rather go home and try his luck with his trusty fist rather than try and flirt with some half-drunk, half-interested person in a stuffy, overly noisy club.

It’s not like Mingyu doesn’t want to get his dick wet, he’s honestly been more horny recently than he ever has been, but for some reason the idea of going home and watching porn sounds much better than actually trying to get with someone here. Maybe Mingyu has a problem, or maybe it’s because of Mingyu’s most recent discovery.

He’s not sure how he lucked out so bad, but one day all of his normal Twitter porn creators weren’t doing it for him, and he happened to stumble across a new page. A reblog from one of the accounts he already followed. The person in the video was stunning. No face, but still the most beautiful body Mingyu has ever seen.

When he clicked on the account he was surprised to see such a small following on the account, only to find out the creator only started posting recently. It’s needless to say that Mingyu spent the rest of the night jacking off to the few photos and videos on her page. “Sweetheart” that’s what her screen name was listed as. 

Even since discovering her, Mingyu’s become slightly obsessed and he’s taken liberty to getting off to her almost every night, even going as far as to subscribe to the content she has behind a paywall. 

Mingyu’s not sure why he’s so attached to her. Maybe it’s her soft aesthetic or the way she’s like a little secret gold mind he found. Or maybe it’s because she reminds Mingyu of….

He glances across the room, his eyes landing on where his best friend stands. Jungkook is leaned up against the bar, a small smirk on his face, his arm wrapped around the waist of the prettiest girl inside the whole club. Your body is pressed up against Jungkook’s as you press your lips to your boyfriend’s neck, marking his skin up with your lipstick.

You’re dressed in a tight, short dress colored in the most flattering shade of red. Mingyu’s favorite color. He does his best to not focus on your tits and the way your cleavage is accentuated by your dress, barely held up by the skinny straps on your shoulders.

Mingyu knows it’s an issue. He shouldn’t have such a huge crush on his best friend’s girlfriend, and he definitely shouldn’t be thinking of you like that either. Especially when you’re his friend as well. It’s not like he wants to, but he can’t help but think that you’re the most gorgeous girl he’s ever met. Inside and out.

You’re Jungkook’s girlfriend though, and he would never make a move on you or ever make you uncomfortable. Though, that doesn’t stop him from doing very shameful things in the dead of night, locked away in his bedroom, his hand wrapped around his cock as his eyes are trained on the video of the girl that reminds Mingyu of you just a little too well.

Mingyu must have gotten lost in his thoughts, staring at you, and when he focuses in again, he makes eye contact with Jungkook. The younger man winks at his best friend before guiding you out of the club. Mingyu’s eyes trail after you two the whole time, and he already knows you two are off to go fuck. If he’s being honest, you two most likely won’t even make it out of the parking lot, taking advantage of the tinted windows on Jungkook’s car.

The whole reason Mingyu even came tonight was to appease Jungkook, and now that the other man has left, Mingyu takes that as his cue to leave as well. The drive back to Mingyu’s apartment feels like an eternity and all he wants to do is crawl into bed, masturbate, and go to bed.

And yeah, maybe it is a little sad. Jacking off at home alone while his best friend fucks the girl of his dreams while all he can do is imagine it’s him in his place, but it’s not like there’s any other options.

Now if Mingyu was really being childish, you were always Mingyu’s first. 

You two went to the same high school together, but you two didn’t get close until college. You had a gen-ed together and when Mingyu was the only familiar face in the room, you latched on. Mingyu didn’t mind, you were sweet and funny and always let Mingyu study in your dorm when his roommates were too loud. 

Later, after Mingyu and Jungkook became best friends, that’s when the three of you started to form a friend group. Then you and Jungkook started to hang out one and one, and eventually those hang outs turned into dates, and now three years later, even after graduating college, you two are still going strong.

Mingyu’s only a little salty, maybe it’s because Jungkook knew Mingyu had something for you, or maybe it’s because really if it wasn’t for him Jungkook wouldn’t have even met you. It doesn’t matter though, because in the end you got with Jungkook and Mingyu respects that.

When Mingyu finally gets home he’s quick to lock his door and drop his pants, crawling into his bed and pulling up Twitter. Right on the top of his feed is a post from Sweetheart and Mingyu groans. She’s dressed in a pair of sexy red lingerie panties, and it automatically makes Mingyu think of the dress you had on tonight. That’s not the best part of the photo though, no the best part is the fact she's not wearing a bra, her chest bare and her nipples staring right at Mingyu.

His cock is already hard, it’s been hard since he watched you kiss up and down Jungkook’s neck, and he shoves his hand into his boxers unceremoniously to pull his cock out. He spits into his palm before wrapping it around his length and starting to pump.

He clicks on Sweetheart’s page, hoping she’s posted more or something, and he’s grateful to see a post from only a few minutes ago.

Live show on my OnlyCarats, come check it out ;)

Mingyu’s finger is clicking on the link in record time and it takes the video a moment to load before his screen reveals Sweetheart. She’s still in the pretty red panties from earlier, but now they’re pushed to the side as she slides her fingers in and out of her wet pussy. She’s laid out on a large bed, dressed in all white bedding that contracts nicely against the panties.

Sweetheart has done a few live videos before, but this is the first one Mingyu has been able to watch in real time, rather than a video uploaded after the live. He’s entranced as he watches her finger fuck her pussy. She’s letting out soft pants as she gets lost in her pleasure.

“F-fuck,” Mingyu whines. His hand is slick with pre-cum as he pumps his cock furiously in his fist. 

Mingyu wonders if you’re going to pull out a dildo, like you sometimes do in your videos, but rather another person appears on camera.

Clearly the body is a male figure, clad in black slacks and a black dress shirt. Sweetheart has done a few photos and videos with a guy before, but Mingyu’s never seen him in one of her lives before. It’s not that he minds too much, but a part of him wishes that he could stay pretending like the whole thing was for him, that he was the only person watching.

Mingyu can’t dwell on his disappointment though, because the man in the video is unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out. It’s big, though Mingyu doesn’t think it’s bigger than his own. The man grabs the camera before laying back, allowing Sweetheart to climb on top of him.

She grinds against him for a little bit before lifting herself up and lining the man’s cock up to her entrance. Mingyu can see the way her legs tremble as she sinks down, and suddenly Mingyu doesn’t mind the other guy too much. From the angle he’s filming at, it’s almost like Sweetheart is riding Mingyu, and that drives him just a little bit insane.

Mingyu pumps his fist at the same speed Sweetheart is bouncing on the man’s cock, imagine that it’s Sweetheart…imagining that it’s you. Mingyu whimpers and bucks his hips up, letting himself get lost in the fantasy.

Now Mingyu can’t get the idea of you in his lap, your thighs straddling his as your pussy clamps down around him, out of his head. He thinks about your soft tits and how they’d bounce as you rode him, his cock hitting inside of you deep and rough.

It doesn’t take long for Mingyu to let out a strangled moan as his cock twitches and he spills cum all over his hand. He lays in bed, his chest heaving with his pants. Mingyu opens his eyes and glances at his phone to see Sweetheart’s body trembling as she cums as well. Mingyu watches intently as Sweetheart pulls herself off of the man’s cock, his cum dripping out of her as she does so. 

Sweetheart ends the live soon after and Mingyu gets up to clean himself off. He decides to take a shower, scrubbing himself off like it will clean away the sins he just committed. As soon as he gets out of the shower he dries off and stumbles back into bed, deciding to call it a night.

Mingyu doesn’t see you or Jungkook again until almost a week later when Jungkook invites Mingyu over for dinner. Mingyu stops by the store to pick up a bottle of wine before heading over to the apartment you and Jungkook share. 

As soon as Mingyu knocks on the door you throw the door open and pull Mingyu into a hug. Mingyu hugs you back and if he holds on for a little too long, well you do too. When you pull back Mingyu gets a good look at your outfit. You’re dressed in a short skirt and a low cut tank top. You have a large cardigan draped over the whole outfit and Mingyu blushes slightly. You just look so cute.

You clasp on to Mingyu’s arm as you walk with him into the kitchen. “Kookie, look who’s here!”

“Hey Gyu,” Jungkook smiles at his best friend. Jungkook is standing at the stove, dressed in a blue apron, as he tends to the food. “Glad you could make it.”

“Of course man. I brought some wine as well.” Mingyu places the bottle onto the counter.

“Sounds great. Hey, babe, could you grab some glasses? The food is almost ready.”

Mingyu watches as you two move around each other, the flow between you natural and domestic. It makes Mingyu’s heart twinge a bit. You two have always been a good pair. When you and Jungkook started dating it didn’t surprise anyone, and though Mingyu was a little upset by it, he could see it as well. Even three years later you two make the perfect pair, if not more so than back then, settled into your domestic life with one another.

It doesn’t take long for the three of you to be sat around the dining table.

“So Mingyu, how that’s project at work coming along?”

Mingyu is surprised that you remember, as he only mentioned it offhandedly a couple weeks ago. He shouldn’t sell you so short though. It’s one of the things that attracts Mingyu to you so much. You’re just so charismatic and attentive to everyone you meet. 

“It’s going well. My boss actually promoted me to head of the project because he liked my ideas so much. We should have the prototype done by the end of next week,” Mingyu tells you. 

“That’s amazing Mingyu! Congrats!” You cheer.

“That sounds like a reason to drink.” Jungkook raises his glass and Mingyu chuckles before picking his own up and clinking it against Jungkook’s and then yours.

The rest of the night follows the same pattern. You guys continue your easy flow of conversation during dinner and then after you move into the living room where you put on a random movie to watch in the background. The scene is just a little too nice for Mingyu’s well-being. It’s too…comfortable, too sweet. Like Mingyu is meant to be there, with you sitting on the other side of the couch as Jungkook sits a chair nearby as you joke and talk. Like Mingyu is a part of your couple. Like he’s yours.

Those thoughts are shoved to the back of his head as the night goes on and as more alcohol enters his system. It’s clear you’re also feeling the effects as you move closer to Mingyu’s side of the couch, draping yourself over him. Mingyu takes a sharp breath at the feel of your tits pressing against him as you rub your head on his shoulder.

“I love you so much Gyu,” you slur. “You’re my favoritest ever.”

“Hey!” Jungkook cries from where he’s still sitting in the chair, not too far off from where you and Mingyu are in drunkenness.

“Shh, don’t listen to him,” you say, pressing even closer to Mingyu, your breath now brushing up against his ear as you continue in a whisper. “You’re my favorite. My best friend. My number once since freshman year of college. Am I your favorite?”

Mingyu giggles, despite his growing flusteredness. “You’re my favoritest.”

“Good, we are each other’s most favorite. And Jungkook is neither of our favorites, because I love you Gyu!” You press a giant kiss to Mingyu’s cheek.

“Hey, what are you two saying over there?” Jungkook stands up and moves over to the couch. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his lap as you giggle and playfully thrash around.

“Nooooo! Let me go. I wanna cuddle with Mingyu!” You squirm in Jungkook’s arms as Jungkook holds you tighter, kissing your neck. “Mingyu save me!”

Mingyu moves forward and grabs onto your arms, pulling you towards him. Jungkook still has a hold on you, and you three end up in a big pile together, all giggling. You three lay there for a moment, in silence, before you let out a big yawn.

“Well I think that’s my cue to get this one to bed,” Jungkook says. “You good to get a ride home, Gyu?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks for having me over man.”

“Yeah, we love having you over. You’re our best friend, you know you’re always welcome.”

“Sleep well Gyu!” You give him a giant hug before allowing Jungkook to pick you up and carry you to the bedroom. Mingyu watches you two retire to your bedroom, sobering up enough in the moment for a pain to clench his heart.

In the cab ride home Mingyu can't help but think about you. The way your breath brushed against his face as you leaned in to tell him you love him. He wonders what it would be like to actually tell you he loves you. What it would be like for you to cradle his face and lean in and kiss him. He imagines holding you, waking up next to you in the morning, going on sweet dates. 

Mingyu groans. He’s got to stop doing this to himself.  

As soon as he gets to his building, he stumbles through his apartment before falling into bed. Out of habit he pulls out his phone, opening Twitter. Directly at the top of his feed is a post from Sweetheart. 15 minutes ago.

A mirror selfie in her bra and underwear. It’s not much, but it still has Mingyu twitching in his boxers. Against any of his better judgment that he would make when sober, he clicks on her account and taps the message icon.

pup: Hey :)) love the new photo

Mingyu’s not sure why he sent the message. He’s not expecting a response. Not at 3am and not when he’s a total stranger. It’s clear Sweetheart has a boyfriend, or at least someone who does videos with her. He didn’t even send her money.

Mingyu’s about to just go to bed when he hears the chirp of his phone’s notifications. When he checks his phone, his eyes widen when he sees the Twitter notification.

Sweetheart: hehe thank you

Sweetheart: would you like to see more? 😉

pup: Yes. Yes, of course. How much?

Sweetheart: no charge baby. i see you in my notifs all the time, and you’re a subscriber on my OF. think of this as a treat for my biggest fan 😘

Mingyu groans. He has no clue how he’s lucked out so hard. His cock is already half hard at the thought that Sweetheart knows who he is.

pup: Holy shit. Thank you so much. I don’t know what to say.

Sweetheart: nothing to say, just enjoy :)

Sweetheart: took these just for you, so don’t go spreading them around, okay?

Sweetheart: [image]

Sweetheart: [image]

Sweetheart: [image]

Sweetheart: maybe you can tell me what those do to you…

Mingyu’s mouth drops open at the photos. The first one is a selfie of Sweetheart from the neck down. Her bra has been removed and her arms are pulled in to push her tits together. Mingyu wonders what it would be like to put his mouth on them, or even better, put his dick between them.

The second photo is a photo of Sweetheart sitting on her bed. The large bed is still dressed in the normal white bedding it has on it during her streams. Sweetheart is sitting back on her calves and Mingyu can see the slight wet patch starting to form on her panties.

The final photo has Mingyu’s mind reeling the most. A cropped down photo of Sweetheart’s lips wrapped around a dildo, her lips gently suckling the tip.

Sweetheart has never posted anything above the neck and this is Mingyu’s first time seeing the lower half of her face, and it’s her sucking a dildo no less. Mingyu groans and gives in, reaching down to fist his cock. He imagines that it’s his dick that Sweetheart is sucking, her pretty lips wrapped around his tip as she takes him in his mouth, using her lips and tongue to pleasure him.

pup: Oh my god. Fuck. You’re gorgeous.

pup: Thank you so much.

Sweetheart: i’m glad you like hehe 

Sweetheart: how about you show me how much you like them…👀 (if you’re comfortable)

Holy shit. Sweetheart is asking him for a dick pick.

Mingyu fumbles with the camera on his phone before he snaps a few photos. You can see the glisten of pre-cum already coating his tip and his hand is wrapped around the base of his cock, holding it up. Mingyu presses send to Sweetheart and anxiously waits the reply.

Sweetheart: wow you’re big

Sweetheart: i wouldn’t mind taking a ride on that rodeo hehe

Sweetheart: fuck i want a dick inside of me :((( you’d reach so deep inside of me, fill me up nice and good

Sweetheart: would you like that pup? my tight pussy wrapped around your cock?

pup: Yes. Yes, so fucking much.

Sweetheart: i’d milk you so well

Sweetheart: ugh this isn’t fair

pup: I want you so bad. You’re perfect. Literally the most sexy body I’ve ever seen.

Mingyu struggles to type as his right hand jacks off his cock furiously. He can’t believe he’s sexting Sweetheart. He can feel his balls tighten the closer he gets to his orgasm and before he can do anything to stop it, his cock is twitching and he’s spurting cum all over his chest and hand.

Mingyu lets out a low groan before opening his camera app and snapping another photo.

pup: Look what you made me do.

pup: [image]

Sweetheart: fuck that’s so hot

Sweetheart: wish it was inside me though :( or that i was there to lick it up

Sweetheart: fuck i’m touching myself

Sweetheart: imagining that it’s your big cock inside of me

Sweetheart: [video]

Mingyu nearly nuts again just from the video Sweetheart has sent. A ten second clip of her thrusting the dildo from earlier inside of her sopping wet cunt. Mingyu truly thinks he’s died and gone to heaven.

Sweetheart: fuck i came so quickly

Sweetheart: god i’m going to be thinking about your cock for weeks now

Sweeheart: thanks for the orgasm :)

pup: No, thank you. I’m never going to forget this.

Sweetheart: good. hope you jack off to those photos more, put them to good use ;)

Sweetheart: thanks for a good time. night pup

Though Mingyu would love to say he went to bed right after, he of course jacks off again before eventually passing out for the night.

After that night, neither Sweetheart nor Mingyu try to contact each other again, but Mingyu does in fact jack off to her photos again and again and again. Especially after days where he hangs out with you and Jungkook.

Look, he’s not proud of it, but at least he can get a release somehow.

Like right now, as he sits propped up in bed, rubbing at his half-hard cock through his boxers, as he watches the beginning of Sweetheart’s stream. Currently she’s just finishing setting up the camera and getting everything situated.

Earlier, Mingyu went out with you and Jungkook to a new cat cafe you wanted to check out. Though both Jungkook and Mingyu are more dog people, it’s no secret they would do anything for you. The whole time you kept gushing to the two best friends on how cute the cats are and how much you want one. It was just so fucking cute and it didn’t help that you just happened to be wearing a shirt that did nothing to hide the outline of your hard nipples. It’s not like Mingyu meant to stare, but to be frank they were kind of staring at him first.

And then when you reached over to pet a cat that had hopped into Mingyu’s lap and you just happened to accidentally brush his dick with your hand. You didn’t notice, or at least didn’t mention it, but it has Mingyu quickly standing up and displacing the cat in order to head to the bathroom to try and adjust himself so you and Jungkook didn’t catch sight of the halfy he was sporting. 

On screen, Sweetheart has finally positioned herself right in the middle of the large, white bed. She’s just unbuckled and thrown off her bra and now she’s groping her own tits, squeezing at her chest and flicking at her hard nipples. Mingyu wonders what it would be like to suck on her tits. Tug at her nipples with his teeth and leave marks all over the supple flesh.

When Mingyu pulls himself from his fantasy to go back to watching the stream, he notices the man who’s always in Sweetheart’s videos has appeared. He sits behind Sweetheart on the back, his arms wrapped around her torso so he’s now the one groping her boobs. His head leans down slightly and his mouth presses to her neck. Mingyu catches sight of the lip ring in the right corner of his mouth.

It’s then that Mingyu takes in the full appearance of the man. He’s considerably dressed down this time. While he’s usually dressed in full black dress pants and dress shirt, most likely to better keep his identity hidden, this time he’s in a white t-shirt and jeans. The outfit’s familiar to Mingyu, too familiar.

It’s understandable why the man has never showed off his full arms before, as they’re covered in a sleeve of tattoos, an identifiable mark. Mingyu can't look. His mouth goes dry and his stomach drops. 

It’s undeniable. Mingyu knows every piece of that sleeve like the back of his hand. He was there when half of them were inked. Mingyu’s stomach turns. It all makes sense now. The whole reason why Sweetheart drew him in the first place was because of her resemblance to you. Now Mingyu gets it. It’s not that Sweetheart resembles you, it’s that she is you. And the mystery man in each of her (your) videos…is his best friend.

On screen Jungkook has moved on from your tits and down to your clothed pussy. His fingers rub soft circles into your clit as his other hand keeps your thighs spread. Mingyu’s cock twitches at the sight.

No.

No, it’s wrong. It’s dirty.

It’s not fair that Mingyu knows your identity when you try so hard to keep it a secret. Not to mention it’s immoral of him to continue to jerk off to your videos. You and Jungkook are his best friends. And even if he has the occasional fantasy about you…it’s completely different than actually watching your sex work and knowing it’s you.

But then again…you are uploading them for a reason. Your bio even says “just here to aid and please” and this would be aiding and pleasing Mingyu. A lot. 

Before Mingyu can even talk himself out of it, he’s lost his boxers and has his hand wrapped around his cock. He strokes it slowly as he watches Jungkook slowly sink a finger into your cunt. You squirm slightly in his grip, letting out a soft whine as he pushes a second one in.

Jungkook pumps his finger in and out of you, the digits getting more shiny with your slick the longer he goes on. Your fingers dig into his forearm as your legs twitch. Mingyu can hear Jungkook chuckle and he wonders how he’s never noticed before.

Jungkook pulls his fingers out of you and you quickly push your panties off as Jungkook climbs off the bed. In a matter of seconds Jungkook is back on the bed, completely naked now. He grabs the camera as you situate yourself on the bed laying down.

The camera moves to show a POV shot of Jungkook fucking you in missionary. Mingyu watches intently as his best friend’s cock moves in and out of your cunt, his hand fucking his own cock at the same pace.

God this is so fucked up.

Even so, it doesn’t take Mingyu long to blow his load. It’s almost embarrassing. Before the stream is even finished Mingyu quickly logs off and gets up to clean himself.

Fuck.

You’re Sweetheart. The girl of his dreams is the other girl of his dreams. It’s been you all this time. Of course it has. That’s just Mingyu’s luck.

Oh God. He’s sexted with you. You’ve seen his dick. Does Jungkook know? He has to, right? There’s no way you’d cheat on him. You’d never do that to him. No, no, he has to know.

He has to.

“Mingyu, my man!” Jungkook slaps a hand onto Mingyu’s shoulder as soon as he approaches.

“Hey Kook.” Mingyu really hopes his voice doesn’t waver as he greets his best friend. He hasn’t seen Jungkook since the other day and this is the first time he’s facing him since finding out that well, he’s been jacking off to porn of him and his girlfriend for months now. 

“Look Gyu, we’ve got to talk about something.”

Oh no. Jungkook knows. He knows and he’s mad because Mingyu sexted his girlfriend and he’s ruined a three year long relationship.

“Talk? A-about what?”

“Not here. Let’s go back to my apartment. No one’s home right now.”

Though Mingyu is glad that he won’t have to face you, he’s still a bit concerned about what Jungkook has to talk to him about. And in private no less. There’s no way it’s not about what Mingyu thinks it’s about. But also, how could he know?

The trip to Jungkook’s apartment is eerily quiet and it isn’t until Jungkook closes and locks the door that he finally speaks up.

“You want anything to drink?”

“N-no, uhm, I’m good.”

“Cool. Come on, come sit on the couch with me.” Jungkook leads Mingyu into the living room and sits down. Mingyu cautiously follows.

“So…what did you uhm, want to talk about?” Mingyu stares down at his lap, trying not to make eye contact with his best friend.

“Mingyu…I want you to fuck my girlfriend.”

Mingyu thinks he blacks out for a moment.

What in the fuck did Jungkook just say to him?

“I- excuse me?”

“I want you to fuck my girlfriend. If we’re being honest, she’s kind of wanted to fuck you for a while now, and we’ve been talking about it and I thought I’d offer you into our bedroom.”

Mingyu knows he looks like an idiot right now, but he can’t believe what Jungkook is telling him. He has to be pulling his leg. He knows that Mingyu knows about the porn account and he’s making fun of him. There’s no other explanation. His best friend is the most jealous man on the planet, there is absolutely no way he’s offering Mingyu to fuck you. 

“Stop saying stupid stuff, Kook,” Mingyu grumbles. “That’s not funny to joke about. Does she know you’re saying this?”

“I’m not joking! Seriously. I know you’ve always had a crush on her, and now here’s your chance to be with her! I don’t know why you’re not jumping on this opportunity.”

Jungkook is right, any other time Mingyu might be ecstatic, but there’s no way Jungkook is being serious. “Because you’re just pranking me!” 

Jungkook sighs. “Okay, I didn’t want to bring it up, but I know you know about the porn account.”

Mingyu stiffens and his mouth goes dry. “I- I don’t know-”

“Yes you do. Sweetheart? I saw the photos left open on your phone the other day, and I know those are photos she only sent you.”

Mingyu’s face heats up and he’s sure he’s red. “I- I’m sorry. I didn’t know at first and I wasn’t planning on keeping watching and-”

“It’s okay. I literally just offered you to fuck my girlfriend.”

“But why? You hate when other guys even look at her.”

“Because it’s you, Gyu.” That’s all Jungkook answers, staring at Mingyu sincerely, like Mingyu truly is the only person he’d be comfortable sharing his girlfriend with.

Mingyu thinks about it for a moment. Could this really just be his dreams coming true? “I swear to god if you’re messing with me.”

“I promise I’m not. Look, just come over on Friday and you’ll see. Okay?”

“...Okay.”

Mingyu is nervous.

He’s still not completely sure that Jungkook is telling the truth, but if he is then that means Mingyu is going to fuck you tonight. 

His heart is beating intensely in his chest as he drives over to your apartment. It takes him nearly fifteen minutes to get the courage to exit his car and enter the building. Before he can fully chicken out he knocks on the door.

Jungkook is the one to open the door and he ushers Mingyu in before closing and locking the door behind him. Jungkook then leads Mingyu to the bedroom and Mingyu suddenly realizes that oh shit, this is real. This is real and he’s about to fuck you.

As soon as they enter the room, Mingyu feels his throat go dry and his pants tighten. You’re laid out on the bed, the same large bed from all of your photos and videos. The same bed that Mingyu has wished countless of times that it was him on it with you, or at least with Sweetheart.

You’re dressed in a red, see-through babydoll set. You stare up at Mingyu, your eyes already hooded with lust. Mingyu watches as your eyes trail down his figure, stopping at his crotch. Your eyes then move back up to Mingyu’s, making eye contact as you wink at him. Holy shit.

Mingyu feels Jungkook shove him forward slightly. “Go buddy, she’s all yours.”

It takes Mingyu a few more seconds to process. He truly can’t believe this is real. That you’re here and he’s allowed to touch you, to feel you, to let all of his fantasies run wild. The thing that finally get Mingyu in motion is you giggling.

“C’mon Gyu.” You’re motioning him towards you and Mingyu stumbles forward until he makes it to the bed. His heart is thumping so rapidly it wouldn’t be a surprise if he went into cardiac arrest.

Mingyu crawls onto the bed and over to you where you smile at him and reach forward. Mingyu crawls on top of you and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down so he rests his weight on you. You move one of your hands to cup his cheek, brushing your thumb over it.

“Hi pretty boy. Are you excited?” Mingyu nods his head stupidly, his mind too focused on your touch. “Well are you going to kiss me?”

Finally, Mingyu’s mind seems to catch up and he surges forward. With your hand still on his cheek, you guide him to your lips. Right away, Mingyu’s desperation is apparent as he presses into you hard.

Kissing you is somehow even better than Mingyu expected. Your lips are soft and you smell so good. You hold onto Mingyu, kissing him deeper and deeper. If Mingyu is being honest he already feels a little drunk on you.

Mingyu swipes his tongue over your bottom lip and you open up, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth. He can feel you smirk against his lips slightly before you start to suck on his tongue. It catches Mingyu off guard and he whines right into your mouth, his hips bucking forward against you.

Mingyu’s cock is already half hard just from kissing you, and he can’t help but rut his hips into you. You don’t seem to mind though, just threading your fingers through his hair. Your hands feel good against him and Mingyu allows his own hands to roam over you as well.

Your body is warm and soft under his palms as he drags them over your torso. The rough lace of the babydoll scratches at his hand as he cups your breast. The material is thin and Mingyu can feel the pebbling of your nipple through it. His fingertips brush over the bud once more and you gasp and arch your back into his touch. It only makes Mingyu needier.

Mingyu breaks the kiss so he can have a second to catch his breath. You don’t need the time though, and you don’t waste time pressing your lips to his jaw. You duck your head down as you slowly trail your kisses down the column on his neck, stopping to suck on the skin every so often.

As much as Mingyu loves you leaving marks all along his neck, he wants to put his mouth on you. He pushes off of you slightly to pull away.

He takes a moment to stare at you, laid out under him. Your chest rises and falls with your heavy breaths and you’re staring up at him with hooded eyes. Your lips are puffy from all of the kissing and your hair is mussed from rubbing against the pillow. You look gorgeous.

“Gyu,” you say, your voice slightly raspy, “you’re trembling.” You reach up to caress his face once again.

Mingyu didn’t notice it, but now that you’ve pointed it out, Mingyu realizes he’s shaking. His heart is pounding in his chest, like how he feels when he’s drank too much caffeine. 

“Are you nervous, puppy?” You ask Mingyu. The nickname makes him whine slightly. You’ve always called him that, but in this context it hit so differently.

Mingyu nods slightly. “I’ve- I’ve wanted this for so long. I don’t want to mess it up.”

You smile gently at him. “You won’t. I like you a lot Gyu, and I want this too. Don’t be nervous, okay? Just enjoy it.”

“O-okay,” Mingyu tells you.

“Now, can I take this off of you?” Your fingers play with the hem of Mingyu’s shirt and he nods. You help him tug the shirt off, revealing his bare torso.

If Mingyu is proud of one thing, it’s his physique, and you seem to appreciate it as well as you trail your fingers down his chest and abs, feeling the grooves of his muscles under your fingertips.

Mingyu is still shaking slightly, but he leans down to start pressing kisses to your chest. Your boobs are soft under his mouth as he starts to suck the subtle skin into his mouth.

There’s a small ribbon holding the front of your lingerie together and Mingyu tugs at the bow until it unties and the fabric falls away from your body, exposing your bare tits to him. Your tits look delicious and Mingyu cups one in his hand and brings his mouth to it. His lips suck on your nipple, his tongue flicking at it every so often.

Your body writhes under him as your fingers dig into his shoulder muscles. Mingyu’s cock is hard and straining in his pants and he so desperately wants to touch himself but also doesn’t want to pull any of his attention from you.

Mingyu’s hands move down your torso even further, his hands running over your waist and down to your hips. He balls the fabric of your panties in his fist, tugging at the lace slightly.

“F-fuck you’re perfect,” Mingyu mumbles into your chest before going back to mouthing at your tits. 

Your hips buck up slightly and Mingyu drags one of his hands from his hips to press against your clothes slit. You’ve soaked through your panties and Mingyu moans into your skin at how wet you’ve gotten. He’s watched you touch yourself a million times and has seen how wet you get, but feeling it for himself makes his mind go fuzzy. His fingers push against your panties, slightly pushing them into you, collecting more of your arousal. 

“G-gyu, please, need you.”

Mingyu pulls his mouth off of you to sit back. He looks over to the side, acknowledging Jungkook for the first time since he’s crawled onto the bed. His best friend is seated on a plush chair in the corner of the room, his eyes trained on where you and Mingyu are on the bed. 

Jungkook makes eye contact with Mingyu before smirking and nodding slightly. “Go on Gyu, give her what she wants.”

With Jungkook approval, Mingyu hooks his fingers into your panties and pulls them down your legs, leaving you fully unclothed. Your legs part and Mingyu can see how slick your pussy really is.

Your cunt looks even prettier in person and Mingyu grabs your thighs and pushes them even further apart so he can slot his shoulders between them. He trails kisses along your inner thigh, move his mouth closer to your sopping heat. Mingyu hesitates slightly, before finally pushing forward and swiping his tongue through your folds.

Your arousal coats his tongue in a thick layer and Mingyu moans into your pussy at the taste. Your cunt is warm as Mingyu presses his face between your thighs, wrapping his lips around your clit. He tongues at the bud, stimulating you as you fist the sheets under you.

Mingyu can’t count the number of times he’s dreamt of this very scenario. His hands tighten their grip on your thighs as he doubles his efforts. His lips are restless as they play with your clit. Your moans are muffled above Mingyu’s head and they encourage Mingyu to keep going.

He can feel his chin already messy with your slick as he makes out with your cunt. His tongue intermittently darts out, lapping at your entrance. Mingyu’s brain gets more and more muddled as he continues to eat you out, already too lost in pleasure.

Mingyu squeezes his hand between his face and the bed so he can prod his fingertips against your folds. He traces your entrance before finally pushing a finger into you. Your cunt is warm and wet around his finger and he’s able to push a second one in as well.

His mouth doesn’t stop sucking on your clit as he starts to pump his fingers in and out of you. His digits drag against your walls, pressing into you, looking for your sweet spot.

As Mingyu fingers you, his hips rut against the mattress, humping the bed to the rhythm of his fingers. His cock is leaking inside of his boxers and he’s relieved to have at least some kind of pressure against him. Mingyu’s letting out soft whines that mix with your own moans.

Your cunt is clenching around Mingyu’s fingers and he pushes a third one into you. His fingers curl into you and you whine, reaching down to pull at Mingyu’s hair. Mingyu knows that he’s found your sweet spot and he continues to abuse the spot, leaving you a mess of moans.

Mingyu’s lips suck hard on your clit, shaking his head back and forth against you. Your body tenses under him as you cry out, your legs shaking as you reach your high. Mingyu helps you through it until you fall limp to the bed, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. 

Mingyu finally pulls his mouth away from you, panting himself as he wipes your slick off his chin. His whole body feels warm from lust. He needs more of you.

“Such a good boy,” you mumble. 

“Take your pants off Mingyu.” The voice startles Mingyu for a moment, before he realizes that Jungkook’s still in the room. When he glances over, his best friend looks the same as earlier, just now rubbing himself through his pants. Mingyu nods and starts to undo his belt, before he’s stopped by your protests.

“Let me help.” You move to stick on your knees, reaching over to undo Mingyu’s belt for him. When the belt is discarded on the floor, you start to work on his jeans. Mingyu can feel his cock twitching desperately as you slowly unzip his pants.

You lean down and start to trail kisses down his happy trail before putting your mouth directly on his bulge through his boxers. While still mouthing at him, you push his jeans down until they’re out of the way. Mingyu’s dick strains against his underwear which are already slightly damp from his precum.

You hook your fingers into Mingyu’s waistband before pulling his boxers down, letting his dick spring completely free from all confines. Mingyu helps you fully remove his clothing before you wrap your hand around his length, pumping slightly.

“Fuck Gyu, it’s so pretty.” You lean down and lick at his slit, collecting his precum in your mouth. “What do you want to do with it? Want it here?” You kiss his tip again. “Or here?” You sit back up and move forward to rub your pussy against his cock.

The idea of your lips wrapping around his cock, choking down his length makes Mingyu feel like a mad man, and under any other circumstances he would jump on the chance, but if he’s being honest he feels like he’s about to burst any minute now and needs to get inside of you.

“T-this one,” Mingyu whines out as you continue to rub his head between your swollen pussy lips.

“Good, I was hoping you’d say that.” You move away from Mingyu, only to lie back down on the bed and spread your legs, inviting Mingyu to come forward.

Your cunt is shiny with your arousal and your pussy lips are swollen from Mingyu eating you out. It’s nothing Mingyu hasn’t seen before, but now seeing it up close and in person has Mingyu mesmerized. He moves forward, hovering over you as his cock rubs up against your folds.

He leans down to suck at one of your tits again, busying his mouth as he lines the tip of his cock up to your entrance. He can feel your slick on his head as he slowly starts to push in. Mingyu whimpers into your chest, his hands clenched on your hips, as he starts to rut into you. His cock stretches out your walls and it takes him a moment to get all the way inside of you.

After a moment he bottoms out, his cock pushed all the way into your tight, warm walls. Mingyu’s never felt something so heavenly in his life. His cock is twitching with excitement as he drools precum into you. Your walls flutter around him as you adjust to his size and Mingyu has to put all his focus on your tits in his mouth so he doesn’t go completely mad at the feeling.

It doesn’t take long for you to start pawing at Mingyu.

“Please move,” you whine. “Need you to fuck me hard.”

Mingyu’s response is muffled against your chest as he pulls his hips back before slamming them back into you. He repeats the action over and over again until he’s thrusting into you in a quick rhythm. You’re panting as you dig your fingers into Mingyu’s shoulders. 

With each thrust Mingyu buries deeper and deeper inside of you. He finally pulls his mouth off your tits to sit up, adjusting his hold on you so he can pound even harder into you. From this new angle Mingyu looks down at you. Your head is thrown back and your eyes are closed, completely lost in your pleasure.

Your tits bounce with each thrust and Mingyu realizes he’s not going to last much longer at this rate. He pushes your legs forward against your chest, spreading your pussy more as he fucks you even harder than  before. Your moans grow frantic as you fist the sheets in your fingers.

“G-gonna cum,” Mingyu mutters. His cock is throbbing, desperately needed to find release.

“D-do it inside,” you whine. “Need your cum in me.”

Mingyu glances over at Jungkook, who’s eyes are still trained on the two of you. He’s stroking his own cock, which is starting to pearl at the tip.

“Don’t make her wait.”

That’s all Mingyu needs before his hips are stuttering inside of you and he’s painting your inside white with his cum. Mingyu’s whole body is coursing with pleasure and he thinks he whites out slightly. When he’s completely come down from his high he pulls out of you, his body slumps down against the bed beside you.

Mingyu takes a moment to recollect himself, trying to clear his mind from his post nut haze. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so good in his life.

When Mingyu opens his eyes again he’s surprised to see Jungkook has moved closer. Jungkook has stuffed himself back into his pants, but the bulge it leaves is still apparent. He stands next to the bed, looming over you as his hand rubs at your pussy. Mingyu watches with awe as his best friend rubs at your clit. Your eyes are closed against as you buck your hips into Jungkook’s touch.

“You made quite the mess,” Jungkook says, addressing Mingyu. Mingyu doesn’t look at him though, his eyes still trained on Jungkook’s hand on your pussy.

Mingyu’s cum is leaking out of your cunt and onto the bed and Jungkook scoops it up with his fingers before pushing it right back inside of you. You gasp but otherwise accept the intrusion. The sight alone makes Mingyu’s cock twitch to life.

“Did her pussy make you feel good, pup?” Jungkook continues. 

And shit well, Mingyu’s never been attracted to his best friend, or any man for that matter, but the sight of Jungkook fingering Mingyu’s cum back into his girlfriend while calling Mingyu a pup definitely makes his cock twitch.

Mingyu watches intently as your body starts to shake, your back arching up off the bed as you whine. Mingyu has watched your videos enough to know what you look like when you’re cumming and he watches as you fall apart on Jungkook’s hand.

Your hand reaches down to grab his wrist, stopping his motions.

“Sensitive,” you mumble. Mingyu just expects you to leave it at that but he’s sorely wrong as he watches you pull Jungkook’s fingers to your mouth, sucking your juices and Mingyu’s seed off of them. You’re making intense eye contact with your boyfriend as you do so, your tongue swirling around the digits, and Mingyu starts to feel like he’s witnessing something way too personal for him to be there.

When Jungkook’s fingers have been thoroughly cleaned by your tongue, you pop your mouth off his hand and start to paw at his pants. You pull him closer, your fingers fumbling with the zipper of his pants as you attempt to strip your boyfriend down.

“Insatiable little thing,” Jungkook smirks as he quells your struggle and frees his cock for you. You don’t waste a moment, leaning forward to wrap your lips around the head of his cock.

Jungkook lets out a low groan and he automatically reaches down to push the back of your head further down onto his cock. Mingyu watches the bob of your head as Jungkook’s dick disappears farther and farther down your throat.

There’s a bit of saliva dripping down your lips, making a mess of both you and Jungkook. The wet sound of your mouth and the slight gag from Jungkook’s length hitting the back of your throat fills the room, making everything seem even more erotic and dirty. Mingyu feels a bit perverted, just laying next to you watching, but a part of him knows that you and Jungkook want him to see this.

This whole experience is new to Mingyu, and he’s taking in every moment that he can. As Sweetheart you never share any part of your face, and there’s a delight that fills Mingyu knowing he’s now the only person besides Jungkook that has seen what you look like with your lips wrapped around a cock, gagging on the length. It’s almost too hot to handle.

From the angle Mingyu’s at he has the perfect view of your pussy. Your lips are spread slightly, still shiny with slick, as you arch your back. Mingyu thinks about you being spit roasted between him and Jungkook. Your mouth working diligently at Jungkook, while your pussy squeezes the life out of Mingyu.

The thought is too good to be true though, and Mingyu embarrassingly still hasn't recovered from his first orgasm. That doesn’t stop Mingyu from imagining it though, staring at your juicy pussy as he does so.

“Fuck,” Mingyu hears Jungkook hiss. He looks up to see Jungkook’s forearms tenses as they grip onto your hair tight, helping you bob your head up and down. His head is tilted back and his eyes are squeezed shut as his hips shallowly thrust into your mouth.

Mingyu’s never been interested in seeing his best friend cum, but in this moment, he can’t take his eyes off of him. It only takes a few more bobs of your head and Jungkook is shuddering as he holds you down against him, your lips at the base of his cock.

When it’s clear Jungkook is finally done spilling into you, he releases his grip on you, allowing you to breathe properly. Your mouth is full of Jungkook’s cum and some of it starts to drip down your chin and fall right onto your tits. You giggle as you scoop it up and put it right back into your mouth.

“Can’t waste a drop, right?” You say to Mingyu, winking at him. “Still doing good there, big boy?”

“Y-yeah,” Mingyu stutters out, his voice hoarse from panting so hard earlier.

“Good, because I’m just feeling sooo empty and I would love if my two handsome boys could fill me up.” You spread your legs again, reaching down to push your puffy folds apart with two fingers. “Would you boys do that for me?”

Mingyu doesn’t understand how you have so much energy after being eaten out, fucked, fingered, and then sucking a dick, but he has to admit it’s incredibly hot and definitely doing it for him.

You move from where you’re laying and you crawl over to Mingyu, straddling his lap and pinning him to the bed. He can feel your heat press up against his cock and you grind down slightly and you lean in to whisper into Mingyu’s ear.

“Will you let me ride you, puppy? Use your fat cock to get myself off?” Your voice is somehow a mix of innocent and sultry at the same time and Mingyu involuntarily bucks his hips up against you. You chuckle slightly. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

You lift yourself up off of Mingyu slightly, only to reach down and line his cock up to your pussy. Your folds wrap around his head before you sink down, flushing your hips to his. Mingyu whines, his hands flying up to grip your waist tightly.

Mingyu only pulled out a few minutes ago, and yet he missed the feeling of your pussy around him. Your walls are warm and tight and Mingyu swears you’re clenching down on him on purpose. 

“Mm, you fill me up so nicely,” you moan. You slowly start to bounce in his lap, lifting yourself up and down his cock. Your hands are planted firmly on Mingyu’s chest, using him as leverage. Mingyu pathetically helps guide you up and down, too distracted by how sexy you look like this. 

Your skin is shiny with a light sheen of sweat and what Mingyu also thinks might just be a post-orgasm glow. Your naked body is warm and tantalizing as you roll your hips against Mingyu’s. You’re staring down at him, your eyes trained on Mingyu’s face as you smirk at him. It’s all almost too much for him.

When it’s clear that you’re satisfied with Mingyu, you lean forward, placing your tits right above Mingyu’s head. He can’t help himself, closing the rest of the distance to wrap his lips around one of your nipples. You gasp slightly, reaching down to cup Mingyu’s jaw.

“F-fuck,” you shudder out. “C’mon Kookie. Need you in me too.”

Mingyu can feel Jungkook climb onto the bed, and he’s thankful that you two own such a large bed or he doesn’t think all three of you would fit comfortably. Jungkook positions himself behind you, hovering over Mingyu’s legs.

Mingyu can feel you jolt slightly as Jungkook starts to open you up. You bury your free hand in Mingyu’s hair, tugging slightly. Mingyu doesn’t mind though, in fact he whimpers slightly against your breast.

Mingyu can hear the sound of Jungkook pressing a kiss against your skin before he spits and then a few seconds later you gasp. Mingyu can feel the bulge of Jungkook pressing into you, stuffing your other hole full of his cock.

“S-shit, you feel so good,” you whine. “Baby, please move.”

Your walls move as Jungkook slides out of you, only to slam right back into you. Your body lurches forward slightly, and you tighten your grip on Mingyu. Slowly Jungkook starts to build up his pace, until he’s fucking into you at a steady rhythm. 

Mingyu takes this as his time to start thrusting up into you as well. He does his best to match Jungkook’s pace, as you start to grind down against both of them. Despite being completely composed a few moments ago, you’ve turned into a complete mess with two dicks inside of you. All you can get out is moans and whines and a few noncoherent sentences as you hold onto Mingyu like your life depends on it.

Your back arches as Mingyu tightens his grip on you, doing his best to fuck into you as hard as he can. Your walls are already spasming against him, your body trembling with pleasure. Over your shoulder Mingyu can see Jungkook and he doesn’t think his best friend has ever looked as good as he does right now. His hair is pushed back and his face is completely focused as he stares down at your ass, watching how his and Mingyu’s cocks split you open.

Above him, you bury your face into Mingyu’s neck, deciding to bite and suck at his skin to muffle your moans. Your body is on fire atop of him and Mingyu wraps his arms around your waist to pull you further against him, using the new grip to help his thrusts.

The whole situation seems so erotic, your gorgeous bare body pressed into his as he and his best friend destroy your holes. Mingyu can feel the blood pumping in his cock as his whole body starts to tingle.

“G-gonna cum,” he stutters out. “P-please let me c-cum in you.”

“Me too,” you mumble into his neck. “Fuck, cum all inside me. Fill me up.”

You move your mouth from Mingyu’s neck to his lips. You kiss him desperately, licking into his mouth as you cup his face.

“Go on both of you,” Jungkook finally pipes up, his voice deep and sultry. “Cum.”

Mingyu’s whole body shakes as he lets himself go, spilling right into your waiting pussy. It doesn’t stay there long though, as you quickly lift yourself up off of Mingyu, your legs trembling as a stream of liquid gushes out of you and right onto Mingyu’s lap. You break your mouth off of Mingyu’s so you can moan as you finish squirting.

Behind you, Jungkook is still fucking into you, quick and hard. You can’t hold yourself up anymore though, and you slump against Mingyu. Mingyu’s still out of it as well, and he absentmindedly rubs your back as Jungkook grunts, finishing inside of you as well. 

Jungkook pulls out of you and leans down to kiss the small of your back before walking into the connected bathroom. You press a few more kisses to the corner of Mingyu’s mouth before rolling off of him. Jungkook walks back in with towels and hands one to Mingyu before starting to clean you off.

Mingyu wipes his lower half off before standing up, his legs slightly giving out on him before he gains his footing again. Mingyu feels like he’s moving in slow motion, his brain still slightly fuzzy. 

Mingyu starts to pull his clothes back on as you and Jungkook do the same. Mingyu’s not quite sure what to do as he stands in the corner of the room, watching as Jungkook starts to strip the bed of the sheets. It's a bit weird to see the large bed without the now iconic white sheets on it.

The thought of just slipping out the front door crosses Mingyu’s mind, and he’s heavily considering it, when he feels someone wrap their arms around his waist.

“So, did you have fun?” You ask Mingyu. You’re staring at him with wide eyes and a grin. 

“Y-yeah! Thanks for uh, letting me do this,” Mingyu responds.

“Of course! I’m wasn't joking Mingyu, I do really like you.”

The confession makes Mingyu’s heart flutter. Realistically, he knows that you’re with Jungkook and nothing will happen from this, but it’s still nice to know he’s not a complete fool or being so head over heels for you.

“She’s been talking about this since your little Twitter conversation,” Jungkook says as he walks back into the room from putting the sheets in the washing machine. “I’d be a little jealous if it wasn’t you, Gyu.”

“You know who I also think would really like you?” You ask, shooting Jungkook a mischievous look. “My viewers. They would love you. Don’t you think so Kookie?”

Jungkook just smirks. “You have to ask him first.”

“What about it Gyu? Wanna become a permanent stample on the Sweetheart page?” You hug Mingyu a bit tighter.

The idea drives Mingyu a little wild. Going from watching your content to being in it? Being able to fuck you on a regular basis? 

“I- that sounds…yeah, I would,” Mingyu stutters out and you giggle.

“Yay! Looks like you have a competition Kook,” you smirk at your boyfriend.

“Competition?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “Not when it’s Mingyu. I think both of us are going to have lots of fun with him. Won’t we pup?” 

You and Jungkook both send Mingyu matching grins and Mingyu feels the excitement grow in him. Oh yeah, he’s going to have a lot of fun.

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[esoteriamaya]

Lilith The Enchantress: Lilithian Energy In The Houses. How Each One Brings Their Own Tempting Flair.

So you're probably wondering, where am I going with this?

I wanted to focus on the temptation of lilith, and why she is so oozing and attractive as is she.

For this reading, I will focus on the houses. In my later post, it'll be in each sign.

So lets dig in! Shall we ;)

Lilith in the first house - Pleasing to the eye. Can have a very sultry appearance. There is a point where they must undergo a transformation of the self, and at some point they will have a divine, sensual aura. There sensual power comes through the way they look at you, and often times they can tell when they're being a little too flirtatious. But that is so they can get the person of their choice. Like a siren, they go in for their target and come out on top. They use their attractive persona as like a spell, think of the girl on who framed roger rabbit with the beautiful red hair and dress.

Lilith in the second house - They have an eye for detail. This is the time to take you to their home and show you the rose petals on the bed with the red and white candles everywhere. They know how to make a person want them, by adding to some flair into their home. While also using different aesthetics for they're look to match with the energy that is being shared between them and they're lover. Very picky with who they spend their time with you know. They aren't for everyone. These are the type to make you wait for it.

Lilith in the third house - These are the lovers that can write erotic letters and make you think about them all night. The way their minds can carry a story, and then when you meet them in person its even better than the books. They hold their composure well, but deep inside they are ready to be explored in more ways than one. My my my, they sure know how to right a love spell. One that lasts til the very end.

Lilith in the fourth house - It's actually so much harder to get them to show you who they truly are, thats what makes their mystique so awe dropping. The way these lilithian beings share themselves is with the power of their emotions, and eventually they will bring you right into their beautiful dungeon they call a home. Where you will find all them in just one bite. Very sensual with the right one. The one that makes them feel good, the one that knows them from the inside out. These lilith babes will let you have all of them if once you have succumb to their power.

Lilith in the fifth house - The sensual energy these lilithians carry is a one of a kind. Their magnetism never goes unnoticed, and they take you on a roller coaster of emotions with their performance. They are intimate with their audience and can put you under a spell with the way they make things look. Their hearts are in it with this one. Very gentle to the eye, but to the soul its much more deep and profound. Can't take them anywhere because their wild manes get stuck in the pursuit of love, where they will drenched you with all their sweet and tears to make more use of the bloody romances they've indulged in. They will have you thinking about them for many moons, due to them putting their all into what they do in the matters of the heart.

Lilith in the sixth house - To be loved by a lilith babe with this placement, is to have made yourself fully devoted to them. Worship is what they want, and it is what they need to pursue them. They don't let just anyone in, so you must be prepared to give yourself as an offering. Very pleasant, and freaky to ones they want most. Most never see this coming, which is why they always get away with it ;) The sensual energy they carry is very smooth, abundant and hard to describe. Mysterious auras that you want more of, so much so you will spend every hour, every day of the week wanting to get to know them.

Lilith in the seventh house - The die hard lovers who goes in for the kill. What they want wants them, and they oozee it in with their attraction spells. Their auras are unique, fresh and able to commit to their partners. It's just that they have so many options to choose from so they have no use to sticking around if you're not pulling in your weight. Im sorry, its hard having to be loved by so many! The sensual power in them is hot, tempting, and alluring. You just can't get enough of them. Can see right thru you and can captivate you with just a look!

Lilith in the eighth house - The way they just make things easy with how they seduce people is something I feel nobody else can relate to. The way they come in and take the throne with how they please their partners as well as themselves, It may be that nobody could come close. But thats the thing about being in a scorpion house, is that you touch people in a way that people are not able to control within themselves.. yet you've already mastered it. Very pleasing, pulsating, bold and full of passion. The sensual nature in them could have you feel things you've never felt before, and that will have you in a panic. because the way they are able to get you to come out of that shell and move deeper into them . Will have you begging for more & more & more. Bewitching auras indeed!

Lilith in the ninth house - The delicacy mixed with erotic power. The angels and the demon. The artist and the muse. They have the power to seduce anyone with just their mind alone. They can seduce you with their wit, their humor, their charisma and just their soul in general. But on a sensuality note, they are abundantly clear on what it is they want. And they know just how to get it. They waste no time in going after the energy it is they feel desires them. They are devoted to themselves and the power of a Godly force and nobody comes close. So to the ones who get to experience them, they feel a closeness to the divine that makes you tremble a bit. Because they show us a sense of carefreeness thats been missing, so the way they seduce you is in how they free themselves in a world that is committed to self restraint.

Lilith in the tenth house - Enchanting and mysterious in nature. The world wants to have them but cannot get enough of them. The secret to these characters is that they know what it is you're looking for, but you just won't get it from em. Not immediately that is. They'll make you wait for it. Hell, they'll even charge you for it if your a beggar. They know you want it, but they aren't easy. Like a coquette, they'll have you waiting for years, and their energy will be intact and while yours feels depleted. Lilith tenth housers just know how to work it with their sex appeal. It can transform you, to say the least. ;)

Lilith in the eleventh house - A special energy is unlocked in these lilithians because not only do they have the capacity to seduce the whole world they can be someone close to them too. Be careful with them, because they might bite! ;) Their sensual power comes from the ability to be close with them and they have a compassionate nature too! This makes them way more likeable and seductive. And even if you're close to them, there is still something else about them. Almost hard to ignore, so its no wonder friends and associates try to get it on with em.

Lilith in the twelfth house - If all the other placements are tempting to the eye, then these beings are tempting to the soul. They have a capacity to entice others with the way they carry themselves. They have a gift in pulling you in, and telling a story with just their body language alone. The moment you are seduced by them, is the very moment you come over and have a meeting with God. They are no angel, but they can just about make you feel things that where never present before.

Lilith in these houses can show the tempting, seductive energies of a person if they learn how to tap in. There is a short story about lilith being the tempting 'devil' we kind of all known of her to be. However, learning more complexities of her story. She is so much more. So this just a small version of what we know as lilith, there will be many more to come!

[irisbleufic]

REVIEW

Gatsby: An American Myth (Welch, Chavkin, Bartlett, Majok, & Tayeh; American Repertory Theater)

Something that most adaptations of Gatsby get wrong, whether film or stage, is the treatment of characters as archetypes rather than individuals. Symbolism drowns out most genuine attempts at capturing emotional connections and conflicts of personality. They forget that this story is not only a failure of the so-called American Dream; first and foremost, it’s a tragedy of failed roles and relationships. Almost every one of the players is attempting to be someone they are not, and even as they reach for what they believe they should want, they reveal with increasing fervor what they actually want. This is the heart of what makes Welch’s new adaptation so devastatingly, disarmingly unique, so true to its source.

The set design is literal wreckage. Crushed and warped automobile chassis scaffold the moving staircases, and concealed trap doors. The backdrop shows no clear incorporation of the infamous Eckleburg billboard; rather, it is made up of a dotted grid resembling headlights. These play out effects ranging from a downpour to camera flashes to, briefly and only once, a pair of eyes that make no effort to hide behind the owlish frames of glasses. The only thing infusing this jagged framework with meaning is the people who move through it.

The lighting design works with the set’s incongruences, deepening or excavating shadows as needed. The brightness, when it flares, is blinding. Jewel tones either enhance or diminish a costuming scheme that is composed of either very pale or very dark shades, no in between. And whether it’s the post-apocalyptic black and gray cabaret garb of the ensemble or the wealthy protagonists’ pale suits or the gunmetal and gray denizens of the wasteland, everyone’s trouser and skirt hems are conspicuously rimed with reddish dust. The visual effects are nearly impossible to describe without sounding like I had some kind of desperate fever dream.

So far, I realize that these descriptions of the set and lighting design sound like this production is about to fall into the trap of overplaying symbolism, but please bear with me. With all of that established, I can focus on what’s truly extraordinary here, what’s meant to and does shine unhindered. The acting, musicianship and vocals are all so precise that it was hard for me to believe this show is still in previews. It feels Broadway ready, West End ready, major international tours ready. If I was the production crew, I’d turn this loose on a massive scale from the get-go without a second thought.

Much like with Hadestown, the musicians are not down in an orchestra pit. They’re characters in their own right, present on the stage from start to finish on tiered risers that run up from the center on each side from one of the catwalks. I’m sure Chavkin’s involvement as director has everything to do with why this show feels so much like, moves so much like Hadestown. The company is on an equally small scale, about 23 - 25 people including the principals.

Costuming among the ensemble is delightfully gender agnostic. I mention a cabaret aesthetic earlier in this review, and I’m not kidding. If you had shown me the ensemble costume designs without showing me the principals’ designs, I would have assumed I was looking at a Cabaret revival. They’re the most talented dancers I’ve seen occupy one stage in more than a decade. The choreography relies on movements in eerie unison for a significant portion of the show, but not without allowance for individual flair within those constraints. The guy sitting next to me, when I spoke to him at the intermission, said he works as a choreographer in regional theater, and he’d never seen anything like this. I couldn’t agree more; the dancing is singular, and as impressive as the musicianship is, the dancing and unusual body movement are maybe the greatest achievements of this show on the living, breathing end of things. I could have watched the dancers for those three hours without any dialogue or vocal intervention and still understood the story. That takes so much fucking doing.

As for the principal cast, they’re constantly among the ensemble; when I say these are all triple threats in the purest sense of that terminology, I really mean it. You always expect a few of the principals to be less dance and movement focused, more polished on the acting and singing side, but this show gives you terrifying proficiency from every angle. Even the guy playing Meyer Wolfsheim is at the center of what I think is the most memorable dance number in the piece. I’ve just never seen such versatile principals all in one production. What’s even more extraordinary is that I had never heard of or previously seen any of them, and that takes some doing given how much live theater I’ve consumed in several decades of life.

Ironically, the musical composition is the one aspect of this production on which I’ll be spending the least time. I need not tell you why Welch and Bartlett were perfect for this job. They understood the assignment, and then some. There’s not a single weak number among the track listings, and I desperately hope they release a recording soon. The standout numbers all have something in common: they showcase Soleia Pfeiffer as Myrtle Wilson. You can tell that’s the role where Welch sank most of the sound that’s considered her signature style. I don’t even need to describe it; you already know what I’m talking about. What’s impressive otherwise is the restraint, the lack of over-reliance on that signature style.

The principals are fucking perfect. I’ve kept this review tautly professional without meaning to thus far, but from here on out is where I start bleeding feels all over the post. If you don’t already know who my blorbos are due to my writing history with a Gatsby-related novel (The Pursued and the Pursuing, 2021), you’re going to know by the time you’re done reading this. You’re going to know exactly who I love and why, who I hate and why, who I ship and why. But you’ll also know that I approach all three of those elements from a place of enjoying every moment of those characters, even the ones I hate. Nobody’s performance put me off or struck the wrong tone when taken in context of the novel and how the tragedy of how their relationships play out.

For a long time, I’ve been saying that there are certain support roles, certain sidekicks, that make or break the higher-profile person to whose side they’re stuck, ride or die, until the bitter end. Horatio is a great example that I’ve ranted about before; if your Hamlet production has a lackluster Horatio, then it doesn’t matter how good the Hamlet is. You have nothing if you don’t have the binary star system at the heart of that harrowing universe. I’ve seen other adaptations of Gatsby consistently fall apart because Nick Carraway is treated like the kind of voyeur who doesn’t matter, the kind of voyeur who serves as the audience’s eyes and ears, and nothing else. Anyway, this is all to say: Ben Levi Ross as Nick might be the most compelling argument I can make for the fact that the creative team behind this show understood the assignment. He’s awkward, warm, sincere, and reactive in all of the ways you need Nick to be. He’s not a passive observer; he’s in the middle of everything, and he knows it. There’s a self-deprecating response he makes when one character, Jordan if I’m not mistaken, quips that maybe he’s the reason for Gatsby’s parties for all he knows. “Maybe I am,” he says, and the tongue-in-cheekness belies a gutting meta-sincerity. We believe Daisy is the point, Gatsby believes Daisy is the point, but what’s borne out every breathtaking moment of this production is that Nick is the point. He always was. He’s also given his due as a gay man in context of the story for the first time ever. I might make some folks mad when I say Nick has always been gay; I’m going to point you to Myrtle’s apartment party and the hookup with Mr. McKee as textual evidence in the novel. The kiss with McKee, the hookup with McKee, is unapologetically here. His lack of belonging everywhere else he’s ever been, because he is gay, is unapologetically here. One of the most memorable numbers in the show hinges on the hope feels at being able to be himself in New York. Queer fans of Gatsby have been waiting a long time for this. Anyone who’s read the text closely and understood him has been waiting a long time for this. I’ve been waiting several decades as a reader, and I would’ve waited forever to have Nick so fully, lovingly realized.

One of the other things that Gatsby adaptations have persistently gotten wrong is the titular character himself. The invention of Jay Gatsby hides the underlying James Gatz, makes it feel as if that old self is truly subsumed, as if it never mattered. But Isaac Powell gives us a Jay who’s exactly as he should be, who can’t hide beneath his own attempt at artifice and reinvention worth a goddamn. He’s young (as young as Nick; they’re 32 and 30 respectively both in the novel and here), painfully earnest, and just barely keeping a handle on the criminal shit he’s had to do in order to get where he is. When he says old sport to Nick, it’s not an affectation; when he says it to Tom, it becomes a biting insult. This is a Jay who knows where and why he’s vulnerable; he latches onto Nick like a not because he sees a man close to Daisy that he can exploit, but because he sees another young man who’s equally vulnerable, equally an outsider, equally haunted by the things they had to do in the war. From the moment they meet, they are almost always touching—a hand on the shoulder, on the back, getting in social harm’s way for each other, eyes seeking each other without cease in the most crowded of settings. When Jay takes Nick to lunch to meet Wolfsheim (who has in this production taken on the function of Dan Cody as well), it’s not to have somebody else vouch for the artifice of who Jay Gatsby is. It’s taking Nick to meet his fucking father-figure, and all of the messy, sincere “if you hurt my boy, I’ll kill you” sentiment that Wolfsheim aims at Nick was the moment I knew just how much the Nick’s loss by the end was going to hurt. Jay’s love for Daisy is a ghost of itself, even if as painfully earnest as everything else about him. Meanwhile, his attachment to Nick is so disarmingly genuine from the start that you understand the true tragedy you’re about to watch untold: these men who need each other, maybe even were made for each other, each prove unable to step outside their parallel distractions from what they truly are to each other. Jay’s interactions with Daisy and Nick’s interactions with several male and/or gender ambiguous members of the ensemble have something in common, which is a shocking level of physicality. This show had an intimacy coordinator; that’s the level of no holds barred we’re talking about. When you look at Tom and Myrtle, you can see why that was merited, too.

Speaking of Tom (Cory Jeacoma), the treatment of him here is every bit as scary as it should be. There’s no attempt to make him palatable, unlike what I’ve seen done with him in other adaptations. He towers over everyone else in the cast, I mean everyone, to a physical degree that’s uncomfortable. The way his wife, lover, and friends all flinch when he gets too close to them speaks volumes to the fact that he’s an abuser in every sense of the term. Even Nick, the prodigal college friend from Yale, is on eggshells around him (which, by the hotel blowup at the end of the show, becomes a sneering, reckless contempt, one of the driving forces that drives Nick to put himself between Jay and Tom whenever real harm is on the table). At the same time, this is a Tom who sincerely loves his wife and was only ever using Myrtle as a fling. You can tell he never meant any of the promises he made Myrtle. When Daisy tells him she didn’t stop the car on purpose, it’s as if his wife’s unapologetic act of manslaughter (“It was her or me!”) is the thing that wins him back. They aren’t careless people; they are people who consciously choose, day in and day out, to use others until they’re bored or done with them. The ruthlessness of Tom and Daisy as a couple is impressive, played up to a level that I feel more adaptations should do without fear of exaggerating the text.

As mentioned above, Daisy (Charlotte MacInnes) is no delicate, nervous creature who can’t help her actions under duress. She knows what she’s doing every bit as much as Tom knows what he’s doing. They use people, hurt people because they get bored and restless and enjoy it. I respect a Daisy who’s in control of her actions every step of the way even if I don’t like her; it’s better than trying to depict her as weak and at the mercy of the men around her. She’s a pragmatist and a survivor. So many of her songs are about choices and being conscious of those choices. She is a person you should fear every bit as much as you fear her husband, and even Jordan knows she’s not safe in Daisy’s orbit.

As Jordan, Eleri Ward is one of the neatest personalities on stage. Like Tom, she’s noticeably taller than most, which gives her a commanding physical presence. She has no romantic interest in anyone; I fucking love that this production show her and Nick bonding on the basis of being queer and tired of everyone else’s shit. This is a more likable, relatable Jordan than I’ve seen in the past. This is a Jordan whose relationship to Gatsby is much more familiar and warm, much more akin to the friendship she forms with Nick. In fact, the queer-and-tired vibes that roll off several of the principals in this production are palpable.

Myrtle and Wilson (Matthew Amira) aren’t always played as effective foils for Daisy and Tom, but here? They unquestionably are. They do actually love each other in spite of the things they’ve done to hurt each other, and it’s a constant dance of daring each other, challenging each other. The most memorable duet in the entire show is between them, during Act II. The confrontation is positively electric. These are two people with deep, complicated history. Of all the couples in the show, they feel the most real, the most alive. It makes the loss of Myrtle so much more wrenching; she’s not just a plot device emblematic of the bad choices they’ve all been making. She’s not shallow or frivolous or anything like that. She’s a shrewd woman with complex motivations, and for the first time ever I find myself loving her and caring what happens to her. She’s thrust even further into the action in that one of her part time gigs is working as a maid at Gatsby’s parties, a conceit that works shockingly well and hastens the devastating consequences of her affair with Tom.

I’ve made mention of Meyer Wolfsheim’s (Adam Grupper) uniquely enhanced role previously, so I’d be remiss if I didn’t comment on him again. This is a man who does, in fact, seem to give a shit about Jay above and beyond using him as a tool in his criminal empire. It’s not necessarily a healthy father-son dynamic, but Wolfsheim is usually played as ruthless, opportunistic, inhumanly calculating. Here, he’s a charming, but unquestionably dangerous man moved by a young soldier’s plight. He seems conflicted between his love for Jay and his need to have Jay continue to hold the party line within their business relationship. Wolfsheim is deeply conflicted about Jay in a way that I haven’t seen any Wolfsheim be played previously. And, as I mentioned earlier, the actor has a showstopper of a song and dance number. That may be the #1 “I wasn’t expecting that, but I’ll take it!” moment for me in this show. And I say “may be” only because the moment that truly stopped my heart, will stay with me until everything else fades from memory, is perhaps only understandable in the context of my engagement with the text of Gatsby as a writer of transformative works.

Daisy’s and Tom’s daughter, Pam Buchanan doesn’t always appear in adaptations because she’s a toddler. Even in the novel, she a throwaway mention plus a single scene near the end where the nanny brings her out to meet Jay and Nick. She’s most often left as a throwaway mention without even grave of the scene where she appears. The scene in the novel, however brief, is memorable—and has been captured in all its fragile beauty for the first time in this adaptation. Jay and Nick both pay bewildered, wondering attention to this kid when she’s brought out. Jay drops to his knees and takes her hand when she greets him while Nick looks on in a moment of singular focus on both of them. The child who plays Pam here has a spark, an expressiveness that made me choke up even though she’s only on stage for a few minutes, if that. The tableau is one in which you can feel the shock of reality, however brief, touch on these men—Daisy’s and Tom’s reckless actions may yet do harm to someone who’s barely even begun to live her life, but who is just conscious enough to be a participant in it. They recognize that they, like this child, are probably in for a word of ruin—and that they have let it go on for so long that there’s now nothing they can do about it. For me, the deepest tragedy was watching Nick and Jay throw off that moment of heartbroken, horrified recognition prompted by Pam and return to the parts they’d decided to play out until the moment one of their hearts stopped.

Speaking of grief, of Nick’s grief since he’s the one who loses so much: there is only one person who loses more, and that’s Mr. Gatz, Jay’s father. They preserve his arrival at the house when Nick is the only person who stays around to carry out Jay’s funeral and burial. And when he arrives, the visceral shock of seeing his dark skin, braids, and beaded elements of Native regalia in juxtaposition with his otherwise period-typical Western garb underscore the tragedy of what young Jay was running away from, of what he never quite succeeded in erasing from himself. The burial scene shows Nick reverently bringing several of Jay’s folded shirts from the house and handing them down into the grave to Mr. Gatz, who places them reverently as possessions to accompany his son into thereafter. The cultural ramifications are all at once understated and devastating. Nick has moments with each of Jay’s father figures that are among the most complex and moving in the show. The program does not make clear the name of the ensemble member who takes on this most memorable of all Mr. Gatz appearances, and this erasure in and of itself is both unfortunate and telling. This is a world that never belonged to the majority of those who inhabit it, and Nick realizes it with heartbroken clarity after having this final interaction. Even though he’s an outsider, he’s part of a world that has erased and betrayed the man he loved so much at every turn.

The closing number, “We Beat On,” felt like it needed something more, but it utilized the final line of the novel to a deeply moving effect. The lights go down suddenly as the last word is sung; it feels like the song is half finished. When the lights came up, Nick and Jay were center stage in each other’s embrace, just withdrawing from each other as the entire company transitioned into final bows. That’s how I’ll remember them, always: touching even when they’ve already lost each other, borne ceaselessly back into each other’s arms. If Nick is Orpheus, then I have no doubt that he, too, will tell this story again and again until someday, somewhere, something gives.

[blissfullyecho]

how to create a leveling up/dream girl/rebranding plan 🤍🍸🖤

establish your aesthetic

first thing’s first, you need to know where you want to go in life and what is your “aesthetic”? do you want to be giving “classy, businesswoman”? what about “nyc socialite”? of course these are just examples, but you should know what type of girl you want to embody. remember, you don’t have to fit a narrative, but you should have a general “aesthetic” that you want to be associated with. even if it’s 50 million different aesthetics, it’s whatever makes you, you.

visualize yourself/life

get inspired by making a vision board (physical or digital) and add to your board (if digital) daily. i find that this helps you stay in alignment with where you want to be in the future. you have to stay in that frequency and remind yourself of what’s next to come… because this new life is what’s next to come.

start with habits

please refer to my “starting your leveling up journey” post, but basically— you should create 1-3 habits for each of your goals and work on them until they become second nature. then when you’re ready, start implementing more habits that are aligned with your goals.

create routines with your habits

can you incorporate some of these new habits into a morning or evening routine? we all know that routines are important— they almost become our personalities and they set the tone for the day and night, and even the next day. for me, i know i’m only inspired to exercise in the morning around 10am, so exercise is part of my morning routine.

create daily + weekly goals

let’s say part of your journey is learning a new language. a daily goal could be learning one new vocabulary word in that language. your weekly goal could be knowing the alphabet in that language. use this method for all of your goals.

don’t overwhelm yourself with goals, routines, and habits

start slow; don’t overwhelm yourself. if you want to work on one goal at a time, then work on that one goal. burnout is real and it’s very hard to get back into the swing of things afterwards. i understand most of us are impatient when we just want to be a different version of ourselves, but it’s going to take some adjusting. i suggest not working on more than 3 things at once, but if you can work on more, go ahead

be a part of a community to keep you accountable

tumblr and facebook groups in my opinion are the best ways you can connect with other women who are working on the same thing. you can inspire one another, bounce ideas off of one another, and it’s super fun. you might want to even document your journey online.

set milestones and have a reward system

let’s say you would like to lose or gain weight, no matter the number, focus on 5-10 pound increments. when each milestone is successfully completed, reward yourself with something nice. maybe it’s getting your nails done, or splurging on a product that everyone on tiktok keeps talking about. apply this to any of your goals where there are milestones to get to.

don’t waste the day

you should not have any “zero days” meaning… you should be doing at least one thing everyday to reach a goal(s) you have. it doesn’t matter if one goal was to maintain a more organized, clean environment— do your dishes, set the trash out, clean up the hair from the bathroom sink, etc.

[ashtxrie]

oh no... am i falling in love? (sunoo)

PAIR. high school!sunoo x gn!reader GENRE. fake dating au, high school au, best friends to lovers, fluff WORD COUNT. 2.2k WARNINGS. none! NOTES. first post kinda nervous!! <//3 i need a sunoo irl he is truly the greenest of green flags

you and sunoo are those friends

you’ve got that type of friendship where something clicked and suddenly you were both attached at the hip for years

because apparently having the same clear muji pencil case with the holy grail 0.5 black muji pen at the beginning of middle school meant best friends ride or die in seventh-grade culture

like, someone who prioritized aesthetics in notetaking as much as you did? even in the confines of this crusty campus? crazy.

but anyway, with you being absolutely intent on making friends, sunoo couldn’t get rid of you if he tried but pls he could never survive without you anyway... who else would he trust enough to exchange his top-tier notes with?

and since then you’ve both been best friends for life! well, ever since the +6 with the introduction of sunoo's other friends [read: the rest of enhypen...]

and at first you were super happy because new friends!

but then they kind of stopped hanging out with you in the middle of sophomore year or so and went off into their own little world

and you were a little sad

ok maybe a lot sad. devastated, even.

but that was okay because that meant you were able to meet new friends and expand your horizons! you even got the chance to focus on yourself and join some new clubs, too!

who even is sunoo anymore lmao you don’t know him

but anyway

it was junior year and you were so tired of your friends bugging you to get a s/o

“[name], why don’t you date someone?”

“you’d really hit it off with so and so, don’t you think?”

“just put yourself out there”

ರ_ರ

ayo... excuse me

so one day you just can’t take it anymore

and maybe you should’ve thought this through but... nope

you don’t pause to think things through

because life is for living in the moment hell yes yolo gang

“umm guys i’m already dating someone!”

needless to say your friends go INSANE

like who tf is [name] gatekeeping from us they’re so fake /j

so like any sane and mentally adept person, you say the first name that comes to mind

“hahaha … sunoo!”

your friends stare at you. flabbergasted, shocked, stunned beyond words.

blink blink

“but … weren’t you guys just friends”

“NO”

you’re panicking but

trust

“we’re in LOVE”

ur friends are really like ok whatever, but go off

and that is how you find yourself dragging yourself over to sunoo's fifth period and placing your hands on sunoo's shoulders

“promise me you won’t freak out”

and ofc sunoo is already freaking out

bc why are you standing in front of the ap lang classroom with this crazily determined face and forcing him to listen to you

and this is how you get into this situation

with sunoo having a literal double take and you doing your best "pls help me out i beg of you" impression

“i can’t DATE you”

what

you give sunoo your best professional face even though inside you’re ???

bc um is it that bad to date you??

you are confused???

you’ve saved sunoo thousands of times in his high school career in both academics and social standing he can afford to pretend to date you ONCE

“WHY NOT”

“BECAUSE”

...

is he being fr rn

obviously you’re not getting anywhere and you turn around to walk away, kind of annoyed

“fine then, i’ll just find someone else to date me.” shrug (dies inside).

as soon as you say that, it’s like you’ve flipped a switch and suddenly sunoo is very concerned and almost a little upset

and when you don’t notice him contemplating something, he runs in front of you and nearly knocks you over

“second thoughts?”

sunoo scowls

although it looks more like a lil pout pushing at his lips and he crosses his arms

lmao who is this and what’s happened to sunoo

you shrug and start to leave for real until sunoo reaches out to tug at your arm

“NO, NO WAIT … I’LL DO IT”

you whirl around immediately and you are needless to say, very relieved!

｡◕‿◕｡

“perfect!”

but apparently sunoo hasn’t recovered from his fall from before

bc he can’t stop rubbing his hand against his neck and his face is all blotchy and pink

kinda cute, but in a best friends way.  like wowie my best friend looks kinda adorable look at that boy go

but ofc sunoo has to ruin the special moment because he offhandedly says, “shouldn’t we have rules or something?”

rules???

RULES???

this is fake dating sunoo wdyfm rules? that's so silly goofy

“huh?”

“like … things not to do? maybe one big rule is not ruining our friendship???”

ʘ‿ʘ

oh

he kinda smart for that

“ok easy then, just don’t fall in love with me”

apparently this is the WRONG thing to say?

sunoo is RED like boy is not pink anymore his cheeks are burning red

“you can’t just say that?”

????

you are confused bc what does that even mean

“why not?”

“that’s like ...  y-you you can’t just say that.”

you are, if possible, even more confused?

“okay and?”

sunoo blinks

pls this boy has the audacity to just shrug

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

u are dumb af sunoo bout to throw hands here

but he won’t bc he loves u <3

so fifteen minutes later you guys decide to make three big rules

sunoo had a whole list of like twenty but you narrowed it down to these:

1. don’t ruin ur friendship

2. no kissing

3. and ur paying for three rounds of mint choco ice cream after this is over

honestly you think this is kinda rude considering sunoo is richer than ur entire life but whatever, at least he’s not leaving you out to the wolves

so when it’s finally time to put this fake dating thing to the test, you tug sunoo over to your side of the table during lunch and make sure to swing his hand

which actually feels kind of nice??

like you’ve never actually thought about this before

but sunoo is comforting

his hand fits right in yours, and he’s so warm

and i mean haha it’s not like this is a new thing, you two hold hands all the time!! but adjkaldjkfl not in a dating way

ur friends are shocked. bamboozled.

like they never thought you’d actually show up with a DATE

and bc they’re all RUDE they grill sunoo

but sunoo is best boy

best bf

and answers all their questions like a pro

that's my man

i mean what???

ur so proud

you let ur head rest against sunoo's shoulder and BITCH

sunoo presses a kiss to ur forehead

YO........................ insane.

why are u so happy? what is this??

it’s just so gentle and soft and you feel your heart getting all mushy and warm

your friends all give a big collective aww because one, they’re annoying af and yes y’all are cute cute and this is cute

but ur going through some existential crisis

and later when you’re walking with sunoo to all your classes, you can’t stop thinking that hey, this fakedating thing isn’t that bad

but whatever it’s just cause u miss spending time with sunoo!

yes, that’s it!

you’re just sad that sunoo always hangs out with his new group and you don’t get to see him as much

so this is nice!

you’re just going through some bff nostalgia rn... it's just gonna take some time for [name].exe to start working again

anyway now bc of this fakedating thing, you and sunoo just spend so much time together

like you guys have always been best friends, but this feels different

sunoo will run over to you when he sees you and wrap his arms around your waist

the first time he did it, he had the cuteness to go “is this okay? are you okay? is this too much?"

and YOUR HEART WENT !!!!!

you might’ve blushed

okay you did

but you convince yourself it’s just because ur touch starved and bitchless

c’mon... get it together

but whenever you call sunoo and wave at him, his face just LIGHTS up

and you’re pretty sure yours does too

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

needless to say, you kinda don’t want this all to end

because somewhere in the middle of all this, your head has gone from calling sunoo your fake boyfriend to your real boyfriend

and you don’t really want to go back to just being friends if you’re honest

wait hold up

uh oh

UH OH CODE RED

INTERPOL INTERPOL.....

did you just admit you liked sunoo?? in a FOR REALS way?

UMMMMM

so like the only way you know how to deal with things, you avoid it!

you start to act really distant

and now whenever sunoo wraps his arms around you, you stiffen up

and sunoo like the angel he is pulls away so quickly bc ?? is his best friend upset? uncomfortable?

did HE make his best friend for life, his 4lifer, uncomfortable? omg this isn’t ok what is happening

everyone can tell something is up

ofc they can, what with you going to the extent of running away whenever you see sunoo and sunoo reacting like the entire light got blown out his life

and bffr sunoo may be innocent but he ISN'T dumb

he knows your schedule he KNOWS you’re ignoring him

and baby is upset

because lately you’ve been starting to feel a lot more to him

and now you’re just gone??

that’s not okay and sunoo isn’t just gonna sit around and be sad

if there’s something he can do he’s gonna do all he can to try to fix it!

he corners you one day and holds up an angry piece of paper

“excuse me but you broke rule number one which is, in case you forgot, don’t RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP”

“oh haha uh sunoo! hi uhh i gotta go 👉👉 ”

sunoo's face falls

and that was it

you just wanna hold his cheeks and tell him things are fine and that you love him

wait WHAT

but sunoo is still staring at you with that wounded look

like you’ve just ripped up his heart and torn it to shreds

bc that’s kinda what you’re doing

omg what’ve you done

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

“sunoo…”

his eyes lock onto yours so fast that you’re afraid he’s got whiplash

your mouth goes dry, and for a few moments it’s hard to talk

but you finally manage to tell him that “i don’t think we should fake date anymore.”

sunoo's face breaks

his eyes go wide, and it looks like he wants to stagger. and he almost does, just a little bit

“is it something i did?”

WHAT

this boy

kim sunoo is really gonna be the death of you

you’re shaking your head back and forth so fast because NO of course not of course this isn’t his fault

sunoo is Not Okay, and he looks so, so concerned for you. “because i swear i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. if i screwed up just tell me and i can fix it, [name], please”

you shake ur head, already starting to panic.  “of course not.  it’s not YOU sunoo. i just can’t fake date you because--”

you clamp your hands over your mouth

“because?” sunoo prompts, his voice careful

you just shake your head, already starting to turn and run back to somewhere, anywhere because this is stupid and you’re scared

terrified, actually

but sunoo just takes your hand and tugs you backward a bit, almost like a scene from a movie

you do that little twirl back and are face to face with the one and only

“do you … do you like me?” sunoo asks

that’s it

it’s out

you’re ready for your entire friendship with sunoo to come crashing down

“do you?” he repeats softly

you try to pull away but sunoo isn’t having it

he’s still holding onto your hand, gently, of course, and his eyes are boring into yours

you’re too scared to look because you’re afraid of what you’ll find

but when you can’t take it anymore and finally tilt your head up you realize something important

because his eyes aren’t full of disgust

in fact, that’s further from the truth

kim sunoo is staring at you with the biggest heart eyes you’ve ever seen and you’re confused as to how you’ve never seen this sooner

it’s almost like you’re his whole world, and now you can’t fucking breathe

is this real? chat is this fr rn??

your heart’s pounding in your chest so fast and there’s something bursting at your lungs

you nod faintly.  “yes. i like you”

the huge grin that spreads across sunoo's face is everything

he rushes forward to pull you into a gigantic hug, even lifting you up a little as he spins you around and lets out a little happy noise

“i’ve liked you forever, [name], i can’t believe this is real”

what

so u could’ve been dating sunoo before??

“you dork why didn’t you tell me?”

“because you didn’t like me like that!”

BITCH WHAT

“well maybe i was confused” you pipe back

sunoo just laughs, burying his head in your shoulder.  “i’m so happy right now.”

and honestly ?

so are you !!

[cryiling]

thinking about that bkdk edating in middle school trope, except they're amino boyfriends 💀

they meet on an all might amino community. katsuki is one of the community mods, and izuku is the leader of an analysis club on there. izuku's posts were often featured and very popular in the community (he was def a microcelebrity), and katsuki always gave him a ton of amino coins on his posts.

for a challenge he's hosting for his club, izuku makes a huge deep-dive post analyzing all might's rise to fame in his bronze age. this post gets close to 10k likes, and katsuki gifts him 5k amino coins on the post. when izuku sees that number, he freaks out and assumes it must be a mistake since that's a huge number, who in their right mind would give him that much money??

he messages katsuki (who's username is 𝓓𝔂𝓷𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 ⛓️💥) (LMAOOOOO) and asks if the amount of coins was a mistake + offers to give them back. katsuki tells him that there was no mistake, and that he just really liked izuku's post. izuku is really flattered that this guy liked his analysis so much, and they continue texting back and forth for a while.

they follow each other and put each other in their bios under "bffs," and a month or two after that, they officially become boyfriends. izuku buys amino+ using all the coins katsuki had given him (katsuki keeps spending his allowance to buy more amino coins so he's super rich). they start matching profile themes after that, switching to a new theme every month. they have matching profile frames and chat bubbles and everything, and izuku makes a sticker pack of all might faces to use when texting katsuki (sometimes katsuki uses the stickers too, but only when texting izuku)

everyone on all might amino knows they're dating, since they're both such high-profile people in the community. they become the community's it-couple, and people love commenting on their walls how cute their matching profiles are. katsuki comments under all of izuku's posts praising his analysis, and izuku always replies with a string of all might heart-eye stickers.

6 months into their relationship, izuku tells katsuki he can call him by his real name. up until now, izuku had gone by the nickname "golden" in honor of all might's golden age. when izuku tells katsuki his name, though, he doesn't get a response. the next day, izuku wakes up to find that katsuki's profile has been deleted entirely.

izuku feels like throwing up. he doesn't know what happened to dynamight, if he caused this, what could have caused this. he debates deleting his account too, ashamed and confused and hurt, but ultimately decides against it. he changes his profile theme back to an aesthetic picture set of all might in his iconic golden age pose, and continues posting on all might amino as if nothing happened. he doesn't reach out to new people on amino again.

when izuku gets into ua and his workload drastically increases, he stops finding time to post on amino, eventually deleting the app entirely (his profile stays up, though).

in second year, izuku is sitting in the common room with his friends, somehow having been roped into a conversation about dating. "you've never been in a relationship before, have you, deku-kun?" uraraka asks him.

his friends' eyes all focus on him, and he blushes. "well, i had an online boyfriend in middle school, but i'm not sure if that counts." his friends gape at him, clearly surprised. some other people lingering about in the common area also tune into the conversation. katsuki is one of them.

"really, midoriya-kun?" iida says, doing his best to hide his blatant shock. "i must say, that sounds rather out of character for you!"

"did you guys break up or something?" todoroki asks.

izuku grimaces, remembering what happened. "i told him my real name, and then he deleted his account. i think it was because of my name, but I guess i don't know for sure."

uraraka frowns. "that sucks! he didn't deserve you anyway. what an asshole move." the rest of izuku's friends nod in agreement at that. out of the corner of his eye, izuku sees katsuki get up from his armchair and storm out of the room.

months later, izuku and katsuki finally start dating for real. izuku is so overwhelmed with happiness, and katsuki's eyes light up every time he sees izuku. one night, though, katsuki pulls him aside. "there's something i need to tell you."

izuku frowns in confusion. "what's up?"

katsuki takes a deep breath. "...i'm dynamight."

this does not clear izuku's confusion. "um... yeah, i know what your hero name is."

"no, it's-" katsuki cuts himself off, then starts again. "i was dynamight on amino, too."

izuku feels his heart drop. he's not sure what katsuki is saying, why he's bringing it up. "you... we were... you mean we dated back in middle school?"

katsuki nods, eyes on the floor. he doesn't say anything else.

"why did you..." izuku licks his lips in apprehension. "why did you delete your account?"

katsuki is silent for a moment. "i freaked out when i found out who you were," he finally says. "i mean, you know how i was treating you in real life back then. and we had been texting all that time, and i had been comforting you from the bullying you were going through, only to realize it was me who was- i didn't... i didn't know what to say. and obviously i was really immature at the time and wasn't ready to process my feelings yet. but that whole thing helped me realize my feelings for you, even though i didn't want to accept that at the time.

"but," katsuki continues, clearly on a roll now, "that still doesn't excuse what i did. it was a shitty move. and i know i've apologized for how i bullied you before, but i'm sorry for this, too, izuku. i know i hurt your feelings. i swear i'll be a better boyfriend this time, i promise. uh- only if... if you still want to be together."

izuku can't even think of what to say for a moment, still silently reeling at katsuki's confession. eventually he says, "no, i- i get it. we were both pretty immature at the time, and to be honest i kind of got over it a while ago. but," he smiles, "that apology really means a lot to me. and of course i still want to be with you."

he leans in to kiss katsuki briefly. izuku doesn't think he'll ever get used to that.

katsuki rests his forehead against izuku's, eyes taking in izuku's face. "i swear i'll be an even better boyfriend than dynamight was, golden."

and then they lived happily ever after :>

[stellarsagittarius]

☀️Sun in Synastry - How this person lights you up ☀️

[P.s. Please follow me on Instagram and Tiktok! @/Stellar_Sagittarius I post even more astrology content on it and it's a business I'm trying to grow. Your presence means a lot to me ❤️.]

Masterlist: All my astrology posts at one place

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For other readings check the pinned blogpost!

Their Sun in your 1st House Synastry

Sun is the illumination. Sun is attention and the core of our essence. When someone's Sun falls in your 1st house, you can expect this person to completely transform your outlook on life. The Sun person will show you new ways of being, they will show you traits about yourself, they will be like a mirror to you. Their love language will be to motivate the heck out of you. This person will encourage you immensely to be a better person. They will teach a lot about who you are. Your mindset will expand and grow with this person's presence. They will hold you down in your darkest times, and will fly together with you in your best times. Expect a lot of compliments from this person, a lot of deep talks where you touch the very ways of being authentic & being yourself, a lot of admiration for the person that you are! You both will relate to each other immensely and will grow together as two individuals. The Sun person will feel like they found a person worth sharing their life with, because you two are so similar in so many ways. There could be a little bit of competition involved, but rest assured if this is a healthy relationship, you won't have to worry.

Their Sun in your 2nd House Synastry

This is kind of materialistic, but this person is actually so whipped up for you, that they can't really focus on anything else. This person is extremely attracted to how you carry yourself, what your beliefs and focus on life is, what it is that you do with your body, your possessions, how you act, etc. This person has a whole dictionary about you built in their heads. This may sound a bit obsessive, BUT it's in a good way. Because this person simply adores the way you carry yourself. They are attracted to how nicely you put yourself together, your habits and values, they are super inspired by that! You can expect this person to gift you a lot of things that they might want to be a part of your aesthetic. They might be super touchy, especially in healthy romantic relationships, the Sun person will love to adore your body, make you feel good about yourself, see you enjoying the experiences they give to you ;) . You will feel like they constantly have their eyes on you and even from a far without seeing it you can just tell that they were peeking glances at you. You will feel super adored and cherished by them. And they will make sure to do whatever it is that will put a genuine smile on your face.

Their Sun in your 3rd House Synastry

This person will be extremely talkative around you. Even if this is a very shy and introverted person, you can very well expect their talkative side to come out in your presence! They will naturally feel like expressing their thoughts to you. And they will feel like found an amazing companion with whom they can discuss anything and grow their minds in plenty of ways. You both will share a lot of deep conversations, ideas that you both will bond on, and you can expect plenty of similar opinions on plenty of things. The Sun person will open up to you in plenty of way and you will find a buddy with whom you share a lot of similar ideas and interests. This is not extremely romantic, like the cases where the couple is super intimate or involved in each other's lives. This is more lighthearted and about a very beautiful friendship built on common interests. This person's love language is to speak what they feel about you, they are very honest and don't really sugarcoat anything. You can always expect to have a good laugh with this person about anything. They will be super goofy around you.

Their Sun in your 4th House Synastry

When someone's Sun falls in your 4th house, you can really expect a sense of intimacy and closeness with that person. This person will feel like a home that you always wanted to return to. You both will build a very deep sense of attachment and closeness with each other. The Sun person will feel very seen in the presence of the house person. They will like they finally found a person who understands them to a great length. You both will be very active when alone. Expect a lot of quality time together where you both just spend as much time as you both can simply understanding each other and feeling comfortable in each other's presence. You both will share a lot of "secrets", in a way where the Sun person will only open up truly with you. You will see a very emotionally charged and vulnerable side of the Sun person. They will feel like you can just 'get' them for no real reason, and therefore sometimes they might feel a bit hesitant or shy with you. Their love language is to spend time alone together where you both create this safe space for each other to express whatever you both feel. You can also expect almost this baby like behavior from this person because they just feel so safe with you!

Their Sun in your 5th House Synastry

When the Sun falls in the 5th house in synastry, an undeniable sense of joy and creative expression permeates the connection between two individuals. The Sun person becomes a radiant source of inspiration and vitality for the house person, igniting a profound sense of playfulness and enjoyment in their presence. There is a natural harmony and synchronization between the energies, fostering a deep emotional connection and a shared zest for life's pleasures. The house person experiences a magnetic pull towards the Sun person, as if they have found a muse who understands and appreciates their unique talents and desires. When someone's Sun falls in your 5th house, it's like you've found your own personal ray of sunshine. The Sun feels naturally themselves in your presence. Since is at home in the 5th house. This connection thrives on quality time spent together, nurturing a sacred space where they can openly express their deepest emotions and create lasting memories. The love language between them is a fusion of passion, creativity, and genuine companionship, creating a tapestry of shared experiences that celebrates their individuality and brings out the best in each other.

Their Sun in your 6th House Synastry

When someone's Sun falls in your 6th house in synastry, it's like having a dependable partner who's got your back. This person brings stability and practicality to the table, making you feel supported and grounded. They understand the importance of getting things done and staying organized, which meshes well with your need for routines, and a stable life. Together, you make a great team, always ready to lend a helping hand and push each other to achieve your goals. You appreciate how the Sun person sees your efforts and values your attention to detail. You'll find yourselves spending a lot of time working together, tackling tasks and creating a sense of accomplishment. Acts of service and practical gestures are their love language. You both show each other that you're reliable and committed to help each other in whatever situation. This is a good aspect for co-workers and if you both are working on something together, like managing a home and kids! The Sun person will show you ways to have better routines or they might totally change your lifestyle. You both make an awesome team!

Their Sun in your 7th House Synastry

With someone's Sun in your 7th house, you will experience a deep sense of commitment and closeness with them. The Sun person will be like your soulmate, your perfect companion. You will find that all the qualities that you seek in an ideal partner, are presented in the Sun person. With this placement, you both will feel like each other's ride or die, or partner's in crime. The Sun person's love language is to spend a lot of quality time together, literally being together, and just supporting each other in whatever. This is a very ideal placement for romantic relationships because the Sun person becomes this perfect other half. The 7th house is all about "the others." Sun will help you feel fulfilled in this relationship, will teach you a lot about relationships and making a relationship itself work. You will learn to depend upon each other in a healthy way, to communicate your needs in a healthy way, and to learn how you can be there for someone through the thick and thin. There will be a lot of joy and playfulness in this relationship. You will feel like you found you soulmate, or a person that just simply gets you!

Their Sun in your 8th House Synastry

The 8th house, especially in Synastry is super intense and deep. Because the 8th house is all about bonds, secrets, transformation and rebirth. It's all about what you share with someone else. Therefore when someone's Sun falls into your 8th house, you can expect to share an extremely deep connection with them. And by deep, I don't mean just deep talks, this is a whole mind, body and soul deep. This will bind you to the Sun person on a whole new level. You both will feel super involved in each other's lives. The Sun person will illuminate your secrets, your deepest darkest side, all your shadows. You will feel like a completely different person in their presence. They will show you parts of yourself that were so deeply buried within you. This person's love language, honestly is just anything that exist to make you feel loved and better. The Sun person is so infatuated, so intrigued by your essence, that they can't help but be involved in anything and everything that you do. They don't hold back. This relationship might get obsessive sometimes for the both of you, but remember to always trust each other first and foremost. You both will thrive in environments when both of your needs are met equally.

Their Sun in your 9th House Synastry

When someone's Sun falls into your 9th house, you can truly expect this connection to be full of excitement and growth. This is the type of couple that will explore the world together, have adventures, make plenty of memories, teach each other so much about life, and these two might even change each other's philosophy/outlook on life while in this relationship. The Sun person feels super interested about learning your philosophy on life. The Sun person looks up to you as this wise soul who can teach them a lot about life. You will feel like the Sun person is this curious soul who is always eager to learn something new about life. With this aspect you can expect a relationship filled with a sense of adventure, any kind of. You will have more fun with the Sun person than you have had with any other person (unless they have their Sun in your 9th house as well). Sun's love language is to make memories with you, any kind of. They would love to go on adventures with you, travel with you, make beautiful memories with you. Anything with the Sun person will feel super thrilling. This might turn into a restless energy where both of you can't catch up with each other's need to live their life to the fullest. The Sun person will be your greatest teacher about life.

Their Sun in your 10th House Synastry

The 10th house is the highest point in the sky, and having someone's Sun there tells us that they will be an extremely influential person when it comes to our public image. The Sun person is naturally the person who other people consider you to be. Your social mask will be even more illuminated by the Sun person. They will shine bright, when they are around you. People might be immensely drawn to their presence in your life. This also symbolizes that the Sun person will play an important role in your career and public life. They are someone who gives you much more publicity than you usually get or if you are an introverted person they make you become super social and interactive with others. Sun will also make you feel more confident and bold than usual. You will feel a heightened sense of ambition, recognition and power. This is kind of giving, "Whenever you will be remembered/talked about by others, some way or the other the Sun person's name will follow up." The Sun person will bring you lots of growth in your career field, and they will almost be like a mentor. Romantically speaking, the Sun person loves to show you off, praise you for your achievements, and they love it when people see you both together.

Their Sun in your 11th House Synastry

The 11th house is all about networking, dreams, hopes, long term plans, etc. This is the most social house. When someone's Sun falls in your 11th house, you will find that they are present in every one of your social interactions somehow. Sun person will be very popular among your friends and networks. The Sun person will give you a heightened sense of going after what you desire. They will truly be your biggest cheerleader. You will feel like you found you best friend who is with you on every step of the way while you set out to fulfill your hopes and desires. They will help you immensely along the way, perhaps by guiding you with the right steps to take or by introducing you to people who can help you immensely. The Sun person will feel like a beautiful star around your presence because you share with them your plans and hopes. They will feel like you value them a lot because they are like this guiding light in your life. Sun's love language is to include you in their own dreams and plans, to always encourage you and be there for you as a helping hand whenever you aspire for something. You will find a deep sense of fulfillment in this relationship because Sun will help you realise a lot more about your own ideals of life.

Their Sun in your 12th House Synastry

12th house is the most "hidden in plain sight" type of house. Often times the Sun person will express themselves in such subtle ways that will make you wonder if they are really expressing themselves or if it's just you. This relationship is build on very subconscious clues and those unrecognizable signs. The Sun person activates this intuitive side of yours where you can just perceive what's up with them or why they are behaving the way they are. A heightened intuition is a keyword here. The Sun person finds you to be very mysterious, and someone who they cannot really understand just by looking at the surface. The Sun person feels a lot of intense thoughts/emotions whenever you are around. And you feel super attracted to them because they feel like this ball of light that has lit up your darkest house. This person might make you loose your mind upon how intensely obsessed they make you feel with them, and vice versa. There is a sense of very strong connection on the spiritual side, therfore it's also a very karmic house because this type of intense connection will tangle you both very deeply with each other. You will feel like an unexplainable attraction towards them, and you will be fascinated by who they are as a person.

Follow for more astrology content 🌏💌✈️!

Instagram & Tiktok @/stellar_sagittarius

[cal-kestis]

HOW TO: Make an iPhone Layout + Downloadable Template

Hi! I've gotten a few messages asking for a tutorial on my iPhone gifsets — but instead of only doing a tutorial (that would probably be triple the length this one already is), I decided to turn my layout into a template with all the bits and bobs! In the "tutorial" under the cut, I'll share everything you'll need, a free template download, and quickly go over how to use this template. :)

Disclaimer: This template uses Video Timeline and this tutorial assumes you have a basic to intermediate understanding of Photoshop.

PHASE 1: THE ASSETS

1.1 – Download fonts. These are the fonts used for all assets I've included in my template: – SF Pro or SF Pro Display (Regular, Medium, Bold): Either version works, they look nearly identical. You can download directly from https://developer.apple.com/fonts/ or easily find it via Google – Bebas Neue: Free on Google Fonts, Adobe Fonts, and dafont – Times New Roman (Bold): Should be a default font in Photoshop

Make sure to download and install any of the fonts you don't already have before opening my template. That way, once you open the template file, all the settings (font size, weight, spacing, color, opacity, etc.) are as intended.

1.2 – Download my template. Before you use my template, all I ask is that you don't claim or redistribute it as your own and that you give me proper credit in the caption of your post. Making these iPhone gifsets takes me a longgg time and turning this layout into a template took several hours too.

DOWNLOAD TEMPLATE VIA KO-FI ← This template is completely free to download (just enter $0), but if you feel inclined to tip me, I appreciate you! 💖

BTW this template also includes some of my frequently used icons!

NOTE: If, for some reason, you open the template and see the pop-up shown below, click "NO" — otherwise, the fonts will be all messed up:

And if you see this triangle with an exclamation point by a text layer, don't double-click it — it'll mess up the font as well:

PHASE 2: THE GIFS

I'm just going to briefly go over gif sizes and my recommendations. Also, keep in mind when grabbing your scenes, you'll want all of these gifs to be the same amount of frames.

2.1 – Background Gif: 540 x 540 px. I recommend this size so you have a good amount of visibility for the gif behind the iPhone wallpaper. I also recommend making this black and white (or in my case, black and white with a slight blue tint — idk I just like the way it looks) so the wallpaper coloring can stand out.

2.2 – Wallpaper Gif: 230 (w) x 500 (h) px. Keep in mind the very narrow dimensions of the wallpaper! And also keep in mind that you'll have a bunch of apps and widgets covering the image. I try to use wide shots (or layer my clips into looking like wide shots). Also, keep in mind your color scheme for your set and your character's aesthetic! I tend to focus on one or two colors for the wallpaper.

I usually position the wallpaper to the side with 20px bumpers, so there's lots of space to see the background:

2.3 – Large Photo Widget Gif: 201 (w) x 96 (h) px.

2.4 – Small Photo Widget Gif: 94 x 94 px.

PHASE 3: THE TEMPLATE – "IPHONE" FOLDER

In this section, I'll try to quickly walk you through how to use this template and some bits that may require extra instructions. I'll be going through each folder from top to bottom.

3.1 – Status Bar. Time, Service, and WiFi are pretty self-explanatory. In the Battery folder, you can use the shape tool to adjust the shape layers labeled "Fill (Adjustable Shape!)" to customize the battery level.

3.2 – Message Notification. Again, these are pretty self-explanatory. I've already masked the circle for the contact photo, so you can simply import any photo and use the transform tool to shrink it down. The circle is 24x24 px. If you don't want to use a photo, there's another folder called Default Initials.

If your message text can't fit the text box, the message should end with ellipses which is how iOS caps off long texts.

3.3 – Blurred Banner (IMPORTANT) This folder is easy to miss because there's only one placeholder layer in there. On iPhones, the area behind a banner notification and the dock get blurred (including the wallpaper and any apps).

What to do: Make a duplicate of the apps in Row 1 and/or widgets that intersect the message banner, convert them all into one smart object, apply a Gaussian Blur filter (Radius: 3.0 pixels) on the smart object, and move the smart object into this masked folder!

(There's another masked folder in the Wallpaper folder for the dock which I'll go over in that section.)

3.4 – Apps Turn off the yellow guide if you don't need it to keep things aligned and turn off layers you don't need by clicking the eye icon. Replace the "App" placeholder text with your app name, change the color or gradient of the square to compliment your color scheme, and add your custom app icon overlay!

If you can't find an app icon you need from the ones I provided, flaticon.com is a great resource. Also, if you can only find the filled version of an icon, check out this tutorial for how to make any text or shape into an outline.

Also, each app folder has 4 notification bubble options (1-4 digits). Again, you can toggle these on and off as you need!

3.5 – Big Widgets I like using these when my wallpaper has A LOT of negative space to fill. I included the Photos and Books widgets in my template, but there are lots of widgets available on iPhones. You can check some of the other ones I've done here, or if you have an iPhone, simply try adding some widgets to your phone!

There are also widgets bigger than these, but they would take up half of the phone screen which is why I don't use them for these edits.

3.6 – Small Widgets The only thing I'll say about these — because they're pretty straight forward — is there are a lot more weather themes than I included in my template. Also, if you set your character's phone to evening, the weather widget will show a dark background (sometimes with stars), so keep that in mind.

Speaking of, I've included Light Modes and Dark Modes for, I think, every applicable widget.

3.7 – Page Dots These barely perceptible dots indicate that your character has more pages of apps than shown in your gifset (so if an anon tries to come at you, you can just say "it's on the next page of apps" /j /lh)

3.8 – Dock Again, the dock has notification bubble options and I've included the default app designs, custom filled designs, and custom outlined designs for iMessage, Phone, Email, and Safari (there's also a FaceTime alternative if that's how your character rolls). These are usually the apps people keep in their Dock, but this is fully customizable too. So, if your character is, like, super obsessed with Candy Crush or something and needs it in thumb's reach — you can put it in the dock.

3.9 – Wallpaper This whole folder is masked already to a 230x500 px rounded rectangle.

Inside, you'll find another "Blurred Portion" folder for the area behind the message banner notification and the dock.

What to do: Duplicate your gif layer and place it in this folder, remove any sharpening filters, and apply a Gaussian Blur filter (Radius: 3.0 px). Be sure to add any coloring/adjustment layers ABOVE this folder and your original sharpened gif layer.

PHASE 4: EXPORT

We made it!

I hope this template makes it super easy for you to recreate this layout! If you decide to try it out, feel free to tag me with #usernik.

If you notice anything wonky about the template, kindly let me know so I can fix it! And if you have any questions about how to use this template, please don't hesitate to send me a message! I just ask that you try to be specific in your question so I'm able to answer you the best I can!

[cinnamonest]

OMG I MISSED YOUR WRITINGS ON SCARAMOUCHE SO MUCH!!

Please I need the version with camgirl reader x incel Scaramouche 🛐

And I hope you are well !!! <3

The way I was gonna make this a fairly simple post and then I got carried away and now it's 9k words WHOOPS

Anyway YES anon, I am on the slut girl x virgin boy agenda... although since I already have a camgirl, this time I went with like an onlyf*ns/e-girl darling + college AU >:3

//noncon, cyberstalking, blackmail, harassment, misogyny, sadism, nipple/ass stuff, revenge porn/leaking, darling is portrayed as being feminine + implied to have a bf

---

You tell yourself it's just to get you through college.

That's how you convinced yourself to start the account — regular camming requires a schedule and streaming and all that, which you'd rather not do, whereas the other outlets let you sell subscriptions for photos and videos, and there was a decent market out there, so you took your best shot, did some work to advertise yourself on mainstream social sites, and hey, it worked. You soon find yourself with a steady stream of income, and all you have to do is masturbate on camera and take a few posed photos of your body.

A few years of some extra income, and then you'll be done, get a better job, and you can delete the account and scrub the internet clean of any trace of the matter. Maybe some guy out there will keep some of the photos, but it can't be that bad.

This way, you can focus on your academics, which a regular part-time job would be too time-consuming for. You don’t have to worry about scheduling classes around a work schedule, either, which allows you to be more choosy on your class schedule, ensuring you get the later classes and don’t have to wake up early each day.

Except one, where you had no choice but to take the early class, as the other sections filled up fast. It’s one of those required tech-involved ones, you just picked from the list at random — one of those big classes with hundreds of people in a huge auditorium, any degree of personalism drowned by the sheer number of people. It’s a male-dominated subject field, and the body of attending students when you walk in clearly reflects that, so you just sit down in the very back at the first unclaimed seat you can find, pausing to say good morning to the boy next to you, who only briefly looks your way in acknowledgement.

The professor goes over the generic first-day material — that yes, you need the expensive textbook, that yes, he will check attendance, and no, he will not give you extra credit at the last minute at the end of the semester, so on and so on… and—

—you’ll be working with the person next to you for the rest of the semester.

Even-numbered seats, the person to your immediate left, odd-numbered seats, to your immediate right. You turn and smile at the guy you’re thus assigned to, the same one you spoke to a few moments ago — once again, he just glances over at you and nods with some vague acknowledgement and then resumes doing what he’s been doing since the professor started, which is scrolling on his phone beneath the desk, only half-paying attention. That does not bode well for your predictions of how equally-yoked you’ll be in your work ethic… but no big deal.

It's one of those classes with a midterm and final project that you work on throughout the semester, rather than tests… which, hey, that could be fun, you tell yourself. You think you can get along. He doesn’t seem to care about what's going on around him much, which is not exactly good, but isn’t bad.

That dopey, happy demeanor… so obnoxious… ugh, you’ve got a notebook (an aesthetic, pretty one at that), and you're pulling it out on the first day of class? For what?

Except you aren’t reading him all that well at all. Unbeknownst to you, his eyes shift over to you and your activities throughout the class. And the reality is he very much does care.

That is, from the very second he lays eyes on you, you irritate him.

Then you write the class and your name at the top of the page all cutesy and artsy-looking, and then— God, now you're pulling out the multiple colors of highlighters and pens. Is that— is that one of those sparkly gel pens? Oh, it is. You’re making a little header with today’s date for your notes with it. Just kill him now. This is practically psychological torture.

Thus, while from your perspective, it feels like he barely pays you a second thought, in reality the rest of the period for him is spent just stewing in a stream of bitter, jaded thoughts.

Look at you with your… girl clothes and girl pens and girl notebook… you probably think you're so cute, spending money on dumb stuff like that… and smiling like an idiot. What are you so happy for. Why are you even taking this class when you'll just be bad at it. Why are you dressed like you put effort into it. Just pick up one of the sweatshirts laying on your bedroom floor like a reasonable person. And why do you smell so nice too.

He mulls over the negativity for the remainder of the class period, totally zoned out until people start packing up, which is the cue to leave.

Except you stop him before he can make a quick exit, holding out your phone, open to a new entry in your contacts.

Ah, since we'll need to work on the project, I can text you…

Right. That. Ugh.

The awkward discomfort of standing there and entering a name and number while you stand there with that dumb little nervous smile is only made more upsetting by the bitter realization that this will mark the first time he's ever had his number in a girl's phone before. Great, now he's going to be depressed for the rest of the day, and it's your fault.

You say thanks and smile again and your hands brush against his when you take your phone back and it makes him physically flinch in recoil — and you definitely noticed it, you mumble a little ah, sorry as if you're trying to make it even more awkward, now he's got to live with the humiliation of that too, and it's still your fault. Clearly, you are going to be nothing but a source of frustration.

And even once he's moped all the way back to the the comfort of his nice, dark apartment, he still can't escape your torment — no sooner does he flop down into bed than his phone goes off…

>Hi! Just wanted to make sure you can save my number too!

You add the little smiling emoji. It makes his eye twitch.

Trying to act all nice and sweet as if you're not only being pleasant because you're forced to work together. He knows full well you'd be all bitchy and demanding and hypersensitive in any other context, and probably all snobbish too, probably would barely pay him any mind.

Even if you are genuinely sweet, that in and of itself is still basically torturing him. Because what’s the point in you being sweet if you’re not going to give him anything more than that? With that in mind, even your niceness is just a cruel tease.

And why would you even be so happy to begin with? Doesn't being a girl suck? If he was something so weak and inferior and unintelligent, he'd be even more miserable about life, and that's really saying something. Maybe it's one of those things where you're so dumb that you lack self-awareness, so you can live a life of ignorant bliss... at the same time, the notion that you’re unaware of how inferior you are is equally frustrating. You should know, that knowledge should weigh on your mind all the time.

The frustration makes his chest feel tight, makes him grind his teeth… naturally, he has to get it out somehow, and there's a very convenient means to do so.

The imageboards he frequents almost always have a “leaked images” thread up and running, communities where they post e-girls’ nudes and revenge porn. The wrongness of it, of course, is the appeal.

Besides, they all deserve it. Some are images originally sent to boyfriends, posted as an act of revenge after cheating or dumping the guy (so it's deserved, really), others are leaked videos and photos from various pay-to-view networks and websites (also deserved, for being a whore), and finally some are just creepshots in public places (deserved once more, for dressing that way).

And the endless amount of the content and surprisingly good tagging system means that one can find any sort of content, and for the leaked porn accounts, it includes the girl's username and links to more of her, so you can see more of the same girl.

Like with this one, that just so happens to catch his eye. There's a whole page where some guy has paid for every single photo this girl has made, and put it out there for everyone to see for free. It's solo stuff, too, which is preferred — seeing couples making videos together, thereby watching the girl love on some guy, is depressing — and getting off to it is much more satisfying than any of the other girls on this thread, considering she looks like you.

…A lot, actually.

He's already memorized your annoying, pretty little face. The title of the video has the words “college girl” in it, too. Adds to the immersion, can feel like it’s really you, degrading yourself like that… of course, when it’s over, he has to deal with the reality that it isn’t, but the momentary pretending is cathartic.

And sure enough, as the first week passes, you quickly prove just as irritating as he initially suspected. You smile at him and talk to him every class, for some unknown, malicious ulterior motive. Are you trying to be belittling? Or are you trying to make him like you so that he'll do favors for you? Or is it for your own amusement?

Either way, the obvious deceit of it all is sickening. It's a commonly known female behavior. You try to come across as so sweet when in reality it's all an act, and you have some horrible reason for it. He just doesn't know what the reason is in your case yet. It would be better to be a bad person outright — the slimy underhanded fakeness of it all is what makes that type of evil so contemptible.

You, though, you’re just a bit puzzled. Normally, being nice to people works well… but this guy keeps sort of glaring at you… maybe that’s just how his face naturally is? But then, he also doesn’t talk very nice either. Not particularly mean, per se, but you can sort of sense an irritation, like you’ve done something wrong… you try to make the best of it, tell yourself you’re just imagining it. Besides, if he really didn’t like you, he wouldn’t respond when you talk to him, or would sit elsewhere, right? It’s not like you have to maintain the same seats all semester, as long as you work on the required material outside of class. So, you tell yourself, he must just be one of those people that naturally has that demeanor.

You’re not nearly as aware of it, but he makes his own observations of you too. You don’t check your phone nearly as much as he does, but every now and then, you look at something or another, and he always makes sure to subtly turn his eyes to see… it’s usually something stupid, like texts from friends, or worse, what appears to be a boyfriend, some male name you text often.

The first time you’re forced to meet outside of class, at the library per your suggestion — a very awkward interaction, but you seem to be fairly unbothered — you take a moment to check it when it vibrates. You’re sitting at an angle that makes it difficult for him to see without moving in a way that would catch your attention, but by pretending to take a swig of whatever can of liquid caffeine he has today (you had the audacity to comment how unhealthy it is), that he can tilt his head enough just to barely make out your screen without being noticed.

Your phone is open to an email.

The words flash across the screen for just a split second before you turn the screen off, but that one second is enough to make out the top of the screen. Enough time for the ‘hello, (username),’ preface to the email right beneath a very familiar blue logo to register with his brain.

He nearly chokes.

It takes every ounce of willpower to even try to hide the natural reaction — his eyes widen, he goes tense, he has to turn his torso away and pretend to fish something out of his cluttered bottomless void of a backpack whilst trying to refrain from coughing.

But then again, you put the phone away so quickly once you saw what it was… and the video from the other day…?

No. That can't be right.

There's no way. There's no way, there's no way, there's no way.

He can’t get back to his own place fast enough. Dropping the keys trying to unlock the door out of excitement, immediately whipping out his own phone, and he’s on the bookmarks tab before he can even sit down. Back to the leaks site, scrolling down to the tags where they put the girl’s username.

You’re wholly unbothered, going right back to talking to him in that overly-sweet tone, so nice, so frustrating, so torturous. You’re saying something. He has to get you to repeat yourself… no, it was just some pointless question about the homework.

To hell with that, that’s not even remotely important anymore… but he can’t voice that thought out loud, so he’s forced to tolerate the torment of waiting out the rest of your meeting until you finally say you’ll have to keep working later.

The usernames match. The one in your email was the exact same as the one now on the screen.

…

It's one of those moments where what's in front of him is so surreal, he's left so stunned, that he just sits there for a second, completely still, blinking and taking it in. Something that's too perfect to be real. This can't be actually happening, he's mistaken.

And thus he's just left perfectly still, a stupor of disbelief, sitting there in the darkness of the room with only the harsh light of phone screen shining up on his face as it slowly sinks in. It takes a minute — this is just the sort of thing that doesn't happen, it's far too perfect, he has to convince himself it isn't a dream.

And once it registers as reality, it feels exhilarating.

For one, it proves every suspicion right. He really did have a valid reason to be distrusting of your innocent girl act. To think, this whole time you were trying to fool him into believing you were good.

But all along, you were whoring out online, and basically, the fact that you're not upfront about that to someone you barely know is the same as outright lying about it.

Up until this point, life has just been so boring, so disappointing, just going through day to day… even college was just a thing to do because it's what everyone else does. But now? Now he has something exciting. A sudden sense of something meaningful, even if only as an outlet for pure, unadulterated malice.

As for you, well, you get a… well, a follower, but certainly not a fan.

The boy is a world-class hater. It's not passive hating, it's active hating. There is actual effort being put in here, and a lot of it at that.

In terms of the content itself, it's nothing you haven't seen before — some guy leaving comments and DMs calling you a whore and a slut and every nasty name one can conjure, saying you've ruined any hopes of a relationship by doing this, why would anyone ever date you when they can see you naked for a few bucks, telling you to get a real job, blah blah… fairly generic. A lot of the verbiage is certainly non-original, and more or less recycled, specific choices of words and phrases and lingo you know you’ve seen before in those pockets of the internet where certain types of men congregate.

But the sheer dedication to it is what catches you off guard. You're pretty sure this guy is more dedicated to harassing you than you are to the job itself. There's messages from all hours of the day, and you're certain after a short time that he makes multiple accounts for the sole purpose of harassing you. Not to mention he follows or adds you on everything — all the socials you've linked (you keep several associated to your account to lure in horny guys from mainstream sites), adds you on discord and any other messaging app you have (and you have no way of knowing which users are legitimate or if it's him, so you have to add them back and wait to find out each time). One of which you didn't even have listed on your page, so you realize he would have had to go through various apps and search the multiple variations of your username you use until finding you.

Telling him to fuck off accomplishes nothing, in fact he seems to derive great satisfaction from making you upset about it. Tells you that you should be glad — you wanted male attention, right? You wouldn't be posting yourself getting off and flashing your tits on camera for the world to see if you didn't, slut. He adds that insult to just about everything he says to you.

Blocking him only leads to him making new accounts (and then mocking you for trying to block him). You even reached out to a customer support team on one of your social media apps and got him permanently IP banned, which he then immediately circumvented in less than a few hours, making sure to inform you that changing one's IP is so easy and you're so dumb for thinking that would do anything.

But why you, specifically? Why decide to torment you out of every other girl doing this stuff? You don't know. You never asked for this. You never did anything wrong to anyone. You even scrolled back on your social accounts to see if you ever said anything someone could take offensively or had a negative interaction with someone, but found nothing. There's nothing to explain why this one man in particular has decided to come after you specifically, nothing you can think of at least. It feels like the universe just hates you.

It's actually kinda sad. You almost feel bad for this guy, who apparently has so much time to spare and nothing better to do than harass the same girl on the internet day in and day out. You did once shoot back a reply of don’t you have anything better to do?, which actually did make him stop… for about ten hours or so, then it was right back to it.

It's deserved, though, he thinks. E-girls are reprehensible. Taking advantage of guys’ loneliness for money.

Infuriating that you advertise something that he— well, that most guys want so bad, but don't actually give the real thing, only a simulation of it. Make them drool over you, while you hide behind the safety of the screen, far away from what those guys would do to you if they could get their hands on you.

And you know that too, don't you? You know how defenseless you are, know how much danger you'd be in if you teased without putting out like that to a guy in real life, and you do it anyway knowing you're untouchable, you must be so smug about it. Infuriating.

He's not like those simps of yours though, he finds you too morally reprehensible to be drawn to the curves of your body and the parts of you that you post and the sounds you make and how easy it is to imagine the softness of your skin and the way you feel and your warmth and the way you look directly into the camera as you moan and it feels like eye contact—

Anyway, he has standards. And self-respect.

Besides, he knows from stalking your social accounts — including your real ones with your real identity attached, separate from the others — that you have something like a boyfriend. Some guy who shows up in your pictures a lot. What a pathetic idiot. Who lets their girlfriend do this sort of thing? Even disregarding that, does this guy not know you’re meeting with him for your project too? He would never allow you to do something like that, were it him in that position. You must go after spineless guys who will let you walk all over them or something, and would only even accept boyfriends that allow you to do what you do.

That’s why, see, he would never accept something like that. Sure, there would be positives, like getting to see that sweet annoying smile and hear your happy obnoxious precious voice each and every day, and getting to touch you and be around you all the time, and you probably do really nice things for the person you’re with too, and he could always just force you to delete the accounts and never post yourself online again— but, whatever.

Point is, he’s better than stooping so low. He’ll keep living a respectable life, just like he does now — so he thinks as the phone alarm goes off, one of many set reminders to go send you more messages.

It's an awkward relationship, but you're pretty sure he doesn't hate you or anything, which is good. He's hard to read — he seems perpetually either bored or irritated, always slouched over, always maintaining that ‘I really wish I weren't here right now’ tone of voice, lots of heavy sighs or tsks scattered into his speech. Even when you agree to meet at the library to work on the homework and midterm project, he quickly establishes a pattern of being at least ten to fifteen minutes late (without any acknowledgement or apology at that), and frankly, you do the vast majority of the actual work, he just slaps his name on the corner next to yours once it's done.

The torment detracts from your sleep. You're late to your class more than once, trying to sneak in unnoticed by the professor and mumbling apologies to the students you have to slip by to get to your seat. Your partner doesn't seem to care much, at least — he just lazily glances over at you with a flat expression, then goes back to scrolling (he doesn't need to take notes, you'll just send him yours anyway).

He does step in to help when it's too difficult, you can't solve the problem yourself… which is how you realize that, in spite of being remarkably low-effort, he actually does understand the material, much better than you do at that. It's a bit embarrassing, since he makes it out to be so simple, but at least it somewhat compensates for all the work you do.

He's not particularly mean about it, he's just… not nice. The tone and choice of words tends to be not-so-subtly making you out to be dumb for not getting it, or that it's easy, or otherwise belittling.

…You really don't get that one? It's the exact same thing as the last one.

You give a sheepish smile and rub the back of your head.

Aha… sorry…

But it gets done, and that's what matters. You just walk away from each meeting feeling like an idiot, which isn't exactly a great feeling.

But even though you initially felt like the guy didn’t care for you, you quickly notice that he’s started to walk all the way back to your place after your meetings while you talk. You supposed he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t at least somewhat enjoy your company.

And you do try to make conversation. You ask about what other classes he takes…only to learn that he doesn't go to any other classes, since this is the only one where attending is required. He did the math, and he just has to do good on the finals for the other classes to pass, no need to show up for the tests and quizzes and lectures and stuff… and he did research into the professors to find ones where past students confirm they recycle the exact same tests and the past ones are posted online, and he's already got a good cheating method that's only been caught once in all the years he's used it… so there's no point in showing up, he says.

It's a very different mentality than yours, but you try to smile and refrain from saying anything negative. And you try interests and social life as topics, but quickly glean from what little he says that the guy has none of the latter and more or less just a phone and gaming addiction for the former.

Which you have no trouble believing, because good God, does the boy have a totally fried attention span. Even in your meetings, you swear he can't go five minutes without staring at his phone.

Oh, you like that too…?

That does end up helping you find a means to try and get closer. You manage to find one opening, something flash across the screen for some upcoming game. One you've been looking forward to as well.

Huh? You can’t like that thing. He likes that thing. It's not for females. It’s for people with good taste… it’s good… you can’t… someone like you would never be able to properly appreciate it… and now you’re just babbling away with that dumb smile while he’s going through a psychological crisis and rethinking every choice in life because of you. Does this put you two on the same intellectual level...? No, of course not, he has to quickly shake off any such doubts.

You were hoping to get a positive reaction, but you get silent bewilderment in his expression at first, for just a second.

Still, you’re supposed to be boring and a normie… you can’t just suddenly shatter the image of you he’s already constructed… and from the way you're talking about it, you know too much to just be pretending to like something for attention (which is the obvious automatic assumption for when females like media that's actually good and worth consuming).

Devastating. Now he has to consider the possibility that you do have interests and a personality besides being deceitfully sweet and whoring online.

But from your perspective, he just crosses his arms and shrugs.

Kind of, I guess.

And God, then you smile at him again. Every time you do that, it gives him some godawful tight-chested feeling, like you’re trying to kill him with psychic damage.

What gives you the right to be so happy right now anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be in constant distress, now? Is he not doing good enough of a job at tormenting you? You seemed upset, but clearly not upset enough, if you’re still emotionally stable enough to be nice to him. He has to break you, make you too distraught to even go on.

Online, you’re so mean, you never have anything nice to say, even though he’s not that mean to you — well, he could be worse, at least, which is basically the same thing.

Actually, he decides, how you behave in real life will be a good standard of how good he’s doing at making your life miserable. Once it starts to noticeably affect you even in real life, that means it’s sufficient.

But you prove resilient. Each day, you seem to get up, summon some resolve to still enjoy your life, and are still pleasant and friendly… or maybe you’re just really good at acting. Yes, obviously that’s it, since your whole sweetness thing is just an act in the first place.

On your end, the harassment gets worse. It comes in all hours of the day — does this guy not sleep? It’s almost hard to believe someone hates you this much, or even has the energy to keep this up… you start trying to just ignore it.

You tried threatening to report the guy for harassment, but he points out that he hasn’t threatened you with any real harm, and only targeted your public accounts, so no laws broken… and he’s already prepared by taking measures to— well, you don’t understand the spew of lingo that follows, but you gather that the jist is that it would be very difficult to trace him.

So you start to ignore it. You try your best to just not let it get to you, let the comments and messages go without acknowledgement or response. It’s actually somewhat relieving, if you just pretend it doesn’t exist. At first, when you start ignoring him, the messages get more frequent.

But then, it goes quiet for a day. Just around twenty-four hours, you don't get messages, nor comments.

It should make you feel relieved, you think, but it doesn't. Quite the opposite — you feel uneasy. Like something will happen.

He's getting bored, you see. You don't react as strongly anymore as you used to. You used to get so upset at all the messages he sent, and it was so fun to watch how you'd get all defensive and angry in your replies.

Then your replies got shorter, and now— what gives your the right to ignore him? It infuriates him. Dumb whore, treating him like you think you're so much better… or, the gut-wrenching thought passes through his mind, maybe you're busy, you’re probably visiting the guys you sleep around with, since someone like you could never be loyal to that boyfriend he's certain you have.

The only option is to progress things further. He has to think about that. He didn't really have a plan on where to go from here, but now he's started to think about the bigger picture, what he wants in the long term… and that's not going to go over well for you.

It takes some work and digging on his end, but it's worth it.

It's around three in the morning when your phone goes off. It just barely manages to wake you up. You think to yourself that you should remember to turn off the notifications for messaging apps… but for now, you sit up, groggily unlocking your phone. Seeing who the message is from, though, snaps you into full alertness.

A message that makes you go stiff, staring at your phone wide-eyed and slack-jawed, a cold knot of dread forming in your gut that quickly turns to an electrifying surge of pure panic as you read.

The name of your academic institution. The names, emails and phone numbers of your immediate family members. Your full, real name — and your address, down to the unit number.

Your heart sinks into your stomach. The glaring light hurts your tired eyes, but you can't look away.

You know he's just waiting on a response. Probably knows you're panicking, but knows you have no choice but to comply — and you're forced to give him the satisfaction of seeing you type back.

>What do you want from me?

It's only a few seconds before you get a reply.

>From now on, do what I want

>Or I ruin your life.

You hesitate a while before responding. Poor you, you must be so scared now that you're finally getting what you deserve. And even then, you just send back a ‘fine,’ even though it took you so long to respond. You were probably trying to think of how to respond, probably typed out longer potential replies, but decided on that to seem tough or something. That's actually almost endearing.

And oh, it's so, so satisfying to finally see you crumble, even if just a bit, the next day. For you to come shuffling into class for once with a downtrodden, nervous expression, making your way over to your spot without the usual greeting.

…Except that's also irritating. What makes you think you can just not say hello, now that you've established a routine of doing so every day of this class? For all you know, he's just the person you know in real life, so you're basically willingly choosing to potentially disappoint him. Not that you are disappointing him, but like, if he actually cared about your dumb little daily greeting, then he would be. He even gives you several extra seconds, and you still don't do it.

You're still fidgeting nervously, lost in thought when the mumbling directed at you pulls you out of your thoughts.

…Something wrong with you?

You seem to realize your sullen energy and attempt to fix it with a twitching, obviously forced smile.

O-oh, no, I'm just tired, haha… good morning!

He doesn't say anything back, just turns back to phone-scrolling as usual. You realize your melancholy must be showing on your face.

You're being overdramatic, too, he thinks. He didn't even give you any demands yet, since he decided it would be more fun to make you wait in suspense for a few hours or so. Seeing you squirm is funny, but really, you're acting like it's so much worse than it is. What a weakling, so sensitive.

It's just gonna be stuff you're used to anyway…

Which is somewhat true. You're used to the demand for private, custom content.

Men pay you sometimes incredible amounts of money for the stuff. Usually, the customization is about personalization — sometimes it's kind of sad, wanting you to say their name or that you love them while you look at the camera, and sometimes it's just more niche fetish stuff, like pictures of your feet or wearing a weird costume.

But everything this mystery man wants is different — the personalization has to do with the fact that it's painful, humiliating, or both. Moreover, he's never content with the first try.

Stuffing your holes with toys and sitting down on them so they go all the way in, specifically, ‘as many as you can fit’ — but even after the painful effort of getting one in each hole—

>That's not enough.

You can fit at least one more somewhere. And you're intentionally using the smaller toys, aren't you? You won't be able to do that next time, so don't try that again.

Then there's the command to get those clamps on your nipples you used in a video of yours a long time ago, the ones connected to each other by a chain, and to tighten them then pull hard enough for them to come off. You have to take a few deep breaths to summon the ability to do it, and even then, it takes a few tugs to get them to come off. By the time they do, your nipples are swollen and red and your eyes are watery from the sting, but nonetheless, a message comes through within a minute of sending the video.

>You didn't tighten them all the way first.

>Do it over.

Or the one to deep throat that one huge toy you have, the one you used in this one video a long time ago — which you now regret ever posting, since there's a reason that you never used that monstrosity again, much less in your throat. At first you're not even sure you can fit it into your mouth, but you force it somehow.

On and on the demands come. He's not paying for any of it, of course, but the premise is the same.

Still, it's not enough. Come on, you didn't even get it very far in, you have to at least get half down your throat. And you didn't hold the phone close enough, can't hear your gagging choking sounds.

>Do it again.

The timing is often terrible, shortly before or after your classes, or odd hours of the night, forcing you to stop whatever you're doing to meet the demand. Thankfully, though, at least you've never gotten a message from him during your meetups with your class partner — you're certain your distress would show on your face, and it would be hard to come up with an excuse for it.

It becomes such routine, and all happens so quickly, it feels surreal, like you're just forced to accept it and go with it. There’s no time to really process it, as you have to get back to doing your school work and going to class and trying to keep up with your regular video content, it's all so overwhelming, yet so simple, you just have to do what you have to do.

One moment you're slapping yourself in the face while you bounce up and down on a toy so long that it bruises your insides for some jerk that's blackmailing you, and running to class the next, desperately trying to rub at the marks on your face to make them go away.

You're worried that the stress is beginning to show. Your most recent quiz scores are lower than usual, you're getting less sleep. Your insides are always sore. You're paranoid and uneasy, and you know it has to be somewhat evident.

Some of the individual demands have lasting consequences, too. Once you were commanded to choke yourself with a belt on camera, specifically until it left bruises… which you begged and protested against because you had one of your class partner meet-ups scheduled for later the same day, but your tormentor said he didn't care and insisted, so you did it, forcing yourself to go through it… and sending an additional picture at the end just to show the purplish marks in detail, up close.

It wasn't the end of the world for your meeting though — the weather wasn't right for it, but you found something that covered your neck up, at least, so the bruises didn't show. That much, at least, allows you to be at ease… although your classmate seems to be in a particularly bad mood that day.

On another occasion, you find yourself laying on your side, gasping and wincing trying to force one of the larger toys you have into your ass, all the way to the base as instructed, toes curling as you pump it back and forth, in and out… only to be told you weren't supposed to touch yourself while you did it, so, predictably, you have to do it again, the ring of muscle clenching down as it's stretched — and, of course, the act leaves a remnant sensation lasting the rest of the day. You have to rush it too, or you'll be late, due to the horrible timing of the command.

You manage to get to class, but when you move to sit, an ache of pain runs up your spine from your poor abused hole, and you wince, face grimacing at the pain.

It doesn't go unnoticed. The guy next to you, ever observant to everything except the professor, casts a lazy glance over to you, looks you up and down before asking what’s the matter, albeit in a half-caring, bored tone of voice…

You give the oh, nothing, I'm fine! response, stammer out something about hurting your leg yesterday, and he merely gives you an 'ah' of acknowledgement before turning his gaze back down… he rests his chin against his hand so that his mouth is covered up, but you swear, you can detect a slight grin from the shape of his eyes. You suppose it checks out that he'd find your clumsiness amusing, even if it's a lie.

On and on it goes. All the time. Day in, day out. It starts off as once per day, but then your tormentor starts piling smaller requests on top of those. Even beyond the daily video, you get increasingly frequent messages at all times of the day — to take a picture of your tits or ass, or a short video of you fingering yourself, or some sort of angle or pose of your body, writing something on your skin, so on and so on.

He doesn't accept any delays, either. You only get a few minutes to fulfill a demand before getting an impatient follow-up asking what the hold up is. Sleep isn't an excuse either, so you're told, so you have to start turning your phone on loud at night to wake you if need be.

You sense a growing impatience. The frequency increases still, as does the intensity of the content you're forced to make. It's as if it's building up to something — surely it has to reach a limit, or he has to get bored, or he'll ditch you and find a new outlet for his sadistic thrills, you hope. You just hope it ends in a way that's positive for you… but you're afraid of the opposite. What if even after all this, he just ruins your life anyway? It's a very real possibility, one you begin considering increasingly as you think over the whole situation.

The increasing severity and number of demands makes you feel like he's getting more upset, as if you're doing something that makes him mad, even though you have no idea what that could be.

You are right, though.

He's also noticed how much more frequently he gets the urge to demand something from you. How much more the itch has grown, the compulsive need to see you hurting and degrading yourself more and more. You've long since passed the point where he has more videos and photos of you all to himself than those available online — he's been counting — but it's still not enough.

And with the realizations that he's engaging with you more, he realizes that he's also thinking about you more.

No, “more” isn't quite accurate. All the time. Constantly. You never leave his head, everything else feels like a distraction.

And that's only more infuriating. He's very self-aware, realizes it's getting worse, realizes you essentially occupy his thoughts every waking second.

Even then, the distractions aren't working. At one point he realized he literally cannot stop himself from messaging you, it's a compulsion, a need, and the realization of his own lack of self-control regarding it is maddening. He actively tried, told himself to wait until the next day, but just couldn't. Even if he plays games or watches whatever brain-rotting media he tries to consume, his thoughts keep drifting to you. Hell, ever since latching onto you, he’s stopped harassing other random women online in general, and that was pretty much one of his biggest hobbies in the past.

What gives you the right? To get inside his head like that? Make him constantly distracted and wondering about what you're doing, forcing him to keep tabs on you? What makes you think you can just come into his life and control him like this, and think you'll get away with it? You've more or less taken advantage of an innocent person who did nothing wrong to you. Used your body to exploit his weaknesses and manipulate him into doing all this.

You don't get to do that. You have to be held accountable.

You're constantly making him worry about you, what you're doing, who you're talking to, and not knowing is a maddening feeling. It feels like nausea, a sick feeling that completely consumes the mind, rendering it incapable of doing or focusing on anything else, only cycling the same obsessive rage and worry and paranoia until it becomes unbearable.

But there's a way to get rid of that, and give you what you deserve, and get what you owe him all at the same time.

He waits, only another week or so — a frustrating week, but spent planning ahead and gathering necessary stuff — but finally, given the timing, you send a text he was hoping you'd send asking about meeting up again, to finish up the project as the end of the semester approaches.

You're a bit caught off-guard by the message, not to mention how quickly he replies.

>Come over here.

You hesitate, re-reading to try and ensure that you're understanding correctly, and finally ask for clarification that he means to his place.

He says yes. Something about how he's supposed to have something delivered that he'll have to sign, and so he has to be at the apartment when that happens, so, y'know, best for you to come over.

Which is nice.

It's just… odd.

Inviting you over, even if for a required activity, feels very out of line with the person you've come to know, however surface-level said knowing may be. Then again, maybe this is the guy's way of trying to be nice. Everyone expresses appreciation differently.

You're still thinking on it when he adds another text saying that his roommate will be there, preemptively apologizes for any disturbance that will cause… well, you figure if someone else is there, it can’t be anything sinister. That helps you make up your mind, so you agree. At this point, you know each other well enough to warrant trust.

…It’s still pretty awkward, though. The apartment is about like a picture you would expect to see uploaded to the internet as a joke about male living spaces. Borderline barren, barring the computer and the bare minimum furniture and appliances needed to survive, plus some clothes and empty cans and such strewn in various places across the floor, all dark lighting and void of color.

That being said, you quickly realize the apartment is only a studio, and there’s only one bed. The roommate doesn't exist.

And something just feels wrong, in a way you can’t articulate. Like your instincts are urging you to leave. You feel uneasy. Goosebumps spread across your skin. Are you just being paranoid…?

There is something else, though, that immediately catches your attention. You notice that the wall isn’t exposed, rather, most of the room is covered with a layer of some sort of paneling, lining the wall almost as thoroughly as wallpaper. You inquire what it is.

Soundproofing.

An unpleasant answer, but he wouldn’t be so upfront about it unless it was for harmless reasons. You refrain from inquiring about the other odd things you start to notice — locks on some cabinets despite seemingly living alone, a roll of tape sitting on the desk with no discernable purpose.

As awkward as the tension is, you really have no option but to sit on the bed, as its the only surface other than the floor. You try not to contemplate how often the average college-aged boy washes bedsheets.

It occurs to you, though, that right now would be the worst possible timing for a message from your unknown harasser, and you certainly can’t take any photos or videos here… thus, just as you sit down and begin to work, you pick up your phone from where you set yours next to his, and type out a quick message, basically pleading with the unknown man to leave you along for the next few hours, because, as you explain, you literally can’t do anything for the time being.

You read it over, and hit send.

And before you can even put the phone back down, there's a vibration a mere arms-length away from you, as the other phone in the room lights up.

And there, in the notification that pops up on the screen, are the very words you just sent.

…

…

There's a few seconds where nothing happens.

Both your heads naturally turn to the sound the moment it happens, but after that, it's just… still. You’re frozen still, he’s frozen still. Both your eyes go wide, and the quiet seconds pass, processing the information before you.

And then, he sighs, body relaxing, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose, muttering as if met with some major inconvenience.

God, why do you have to make this more difficult.

Besides, he already turned the lock that locks you in from the inside, even though you probably weren’t aware of what it was, so you’re already trapped anyway. And you squeal, of course, predictably, but that’s what the soundproof panels are for.

He's not particularly worried like he would have been any other time — this was the plan now anyway, but you're throwing things off schedule. Yet another transgression to hold you accountable for.

You do try to run. You at least deserve that much credit. He was so close to considering you a genuine marvel of human evolution, with how nonfunctional your survival instincts seemed to be.

But you’re sitting with your legs folded, so, you don’t have the time required to stand any chance of hopping up and running. The moment your legs start to move to stand, he’s already got you by the arm.

You even seemed to process everything a bit quicker than he would have thought. Maybe you’re not that stupid after all, just… a little less.

You still are incredibly stupid though. He’s almost surprised you agreed to come. So naive, so dumb, so trusting.

And so loud. Squealing like a little animal caught by a predator — which, well, isn’t too far off, but it still hurts his ears.

Shut up, shut up, shut up…

You can hear the growling voice in your ear, even now that he has your face pressed into the mattress, arm latched around your waist. You’re squirming so hard too, but even fighting with all the strength you can summon, it feels like trying to push back a brick wall. He seems to notice as much as you do.

…Is that actually the best you can do?

Not the first time he’s said those words to you — though before, it was over text, mocking you into filling all those perverse desires. It feels far more biting now.

And it’s so, so, so satisfying to see you realize just how dumb you are, as you put everything together. To watch you slowly grasp everything, realize just how badly you’ve fucked up. He even flips you onto your back just to see your face go through all the stages of emotion. It’s hilarious, and adorable too. The confusion and betrayal and panic and anger.

Oh, you get so mad. It’s actually the best part. You’re practically snarling now, reaching up to try and claw at him, kicking, baring your teeth. Any traces of the sweet demeanor you once held is long gone as you lash out… and then, a purely and entirely euphoric transition to fear.

Aw. Poor thing. After you struggle so much, your breathing gets faster, the fury dissipates as your eyes well with tears. The demands to let you go turn to miserable little pleas.

Maybe you can go back and forth. Maybe if he taunts you again you’ll get angry once more, and then if he slaps you you’ll get meek and fearful again? That would be nice, to have reliable ways to switch your emotions around, as if controlling them with a button. There will be plenty of time to find out later.

But now he gets the opportunity to finally tell you how long you made him wait for this. Mocks you for how naive you were. Brings up specifics from all those videos you sent him. Did you think it would just be left at that? Did you really not realize it wouldn’t be enough? No, of course you didn’t, and that’s why you ended up coming here like the dumb little slut you are.

And look, you even wore something so easy to flip up, practically easy access. You just have no shame at all, do you. See, it goes in perfectly because you’ve been using those toys for those videos, and… ah, so that’s— that’s what it feels like… holy shit… this is what you basically robbed him of all this time? Now you’ll really have to suffer to make up for it…

Well, you wouldn’t get it. It’s about what you did subconsciously, mind games and all that. His torment was intentional on your end, and that’s what matters. Now you'll get to spend a very very long time atoning for it. You should be happy. You won't even have to worry about making money anymore.

This wouldn’t be happening to you if you didn’t do what you did to him, you know. It’s your fault. He tells you so. And when you look up at him, eyes welled with tears, stammering out a question of what he means—

What did I ever d-do to you…?

—he realizes that it’s… difficult to give that question a concrete answer.

What did you do, really...?

The only problem that remains is how you rushed things. He was at least going to wait until you finished the project, but now it’s incomplete… do professors grant extensions if your partner goes missing…?

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

LVRS Club**

IT'S FINALLY HERE! I hope you guys enjoy it!

Warnings: Descriptions of threesome (ffm), BDSM scene (fdom, msub), overstimulation, post-orgasm torture, forced orgasms, choking, impact play, light pain kink, fingering, oral (f receiving), dom x sub dynamics

WC: 25K - Alt. starting points: If you want skip to when they see each other just scroll down the break indicated by blue asterisks to start from Harry's POV. Or start reading at the break indicated by pink asterisks to start from Y/N's POV. Read at the break indicated by orange asterisks to start with when they meet:) HAPPY READING!

“So where are we really going?” Y/N asked Nina, her best friend and roommate.

“It’s a surprise. I already told you.” Nina hummed.

“I hate surprises, Nina. You know this.” She said.

“If I tell you, you might back out and I can’t risk that.” Nina explained.

“That’s worrisome…you know that I like to be well prepared f-”

“Yeah, you little control freak.” She grinned and Y/N sighed.

“What if I promise not to freak out or back out.”

“Unlikely.”

“See that’s worrisome again.” Y/N sighed and Nina turned to her.

“Fine. I’ll tell you, but you need to commit to attending if I tell you.” She looked at Nina with a bit of hesitation. But her curiosity and need to know were far greater than her hesitation. This way she’d at least know what to prepare for.

“Fine.” She said and Nina grinned.

“Alright, we’re taking you to a sex club.” She said and Y/N chuckled and when she saw Nina’s face her features arched up in shock.

“Wait, you’re serious?” She asked and Nina nodded with a nervous grin. “I can’t, Nina.” Y/N said and she sighed.

“You committed!” Nina pointed at her and she sighed.

“But a sex club? How is that going to help me?!” She questioned.

“I don’t know? Maybe just push you out of your comfort zone. You don’t have to have sex, it’s just a different thing.” She said and Y/N sighed.

“I hate you guys…so fucking much.” She giggled and Nina grinned.

*********

“Should I wear the red lipstick?” Y/N questioned as she looked through her limited lipstick options.

“I would say no because if you end up kissing someone, at the very least, you’re gonna be all smeared!” Nina said and Y/N didn’t intend on making out with anyone but red did tend to be messy.

“Ughhh…you’re right. Even if I don’t, like it gets on the glasses and sometimes I forget I have it on…I won’t look too plain without it?” She frowned at her reflection and Nina scoffed. “Y/N, babe, you’re so fucking cute! You’re gorgeous and smart and successful! You don’t need to pile on all this extra shit to attract someone just wear what makes you feel confident.” Nina assured with an encouraging smile. Y/N tended to side with the “clean girl aesthetic” when it came to makeup. She generally avoided having to use too much and spend even more money on replacing makeup at quick intervals. 

“OK, but say you’re a guy and you saw me looking like this-”

“Again, we’re not doing this to get you laid,” Nina emphasized, “But if there is a man tonight who thinks that you as you are is not to die for then they aren’t worth your time. And look, the focus of the night is just to help you loosen up a bit. I know you say you’re fine but babe, you’re more stressed than I have ever seen you! You’ve gone through three wine bottles and made, and devoured, three batches of chocolate strawberries in the past week and I hate to break it to you, but that is not self-care.” Nina said pointedly and Y/N groaned.

“Nina…”

“Girl, I see it all. I don’t want to make you feel like shit about it, but I think if you just step out of your comfort zone and let loose for a little it’ll make you feel better. Try not to worry too much tonight. Just clear your mind of all of the stress and surrender to the adventures of the night. I want you to give this a fair shot, OK?” She smiled and Y/N chuckled.

“Fine. Fine.” She promised, “Now, what do I even wear?” She asked with a sigh and Nina grinned.

“It’s cocktail attire so I know just the dress!” Nina said rushing out of Y/N’s bathroom where they were both getting ready and Y/N trailed after her enthusiastic roommate as she moseyed on into her closet, “Remember you just bought a bunch of different dresses for your office’s holiday parties?” She asked as she started going through the rack.

“What about this one?” Y/N said pulling one out and showing Nina with a small smile and Nina just looked at her with a look that said ‘really bitch?’ and Y/N laughed, “What?”

“That looks like the dress you wore to my great aunt’s funeral.” Nina said plainly and Y/N frowned.

“I mean, it is, but I also wear it to work events and parties. It’s elegant and classic and not too-”

“Babe, you have to hear what you’re telling me.” Nina cackled and Y/N shook her head.

“It flatters my figure! And my cleavage looks really good!” Y/N defended her choice and Nina smiled.

“Yeah, I know. But there was one that you had liked because it looked like a D&G dress but you said it was too short or something…” Nina said as she continued looking through the options, “I just remember that when you tried it on I was shook. Like to my core. I hope you didn’t return it.” Nina said as she continued sifting through the hangers and then squealed, “Oh! It’s this one!” She said pulling out a black velvet minidress. It had a floral pattern which made it look a little vintage, rock star girlfriend-core to the max; it was very pretty and it looked great on her, but she couldn’t even sit down comfortably- her ass was literally on whatever seat she sat on from how short it was as she recalled.

“Oh my god, no! It was way too short.” Y/N argued.

“Easy access.” Nina said with a wink and Y/N laughed.

“Good god…”

“Look, it looks great on you and you can wear it with a leather jacket, get some loose-beach-y waves in your hair, a very light smoky eye and some nice clean eye liner and you’ll look like an effortless and sensual goddess.” Nina said.

“I mean…”

“It’d be like Y/N but from college!” Nina urged and Y/N giggled.

“God…I did dress really hot in college…” she said and Nina grinned with a nod, “Fine…for old time’s sake.” Y/N agreed and Nina once again squealed and soon they went back to getting dolled up before they were to change. 

It was around 8:30pm when Y/N and Nina were sliding into their Uber and getting ready to head off to this club. It was called LVRS Club and when Y/N realized that Nina had just entered that as their destination she grew so embarrassed.

“You couldn’t have at least put a business nearby or something? Now he’s gonna know we’re going to a sex club.” She whispered to Nina who just giggled.

“And to think those two shots you took before heading out were supposed to help calm your nerves.”

Y/N was nervous as could be. She had never done anything like this and from what Nina had been explaining to her, LVRS was a rather prestigious and high end place. Eli was only able to get them in because one of his good friends is a member - apparently he’d be meeting them there. As Y/N listened on to what Nina was saying about the rules and rumors she had heard Y/N was just overthinking this entire thing, as she did many things that were not necessarily in her wheelhouse. What if she ran into someone she knew? Or worse yet, what if someone she knew from work was there too? What if the advances were too intense and it made her uncomfortable? There were so many what-ifs it was making her stomach turn.

“-so apparently we’re going to be able to be in the member’s section of the club. I’m assuming it’s more private and only the cream of the crop hang out there. What if we run into a celebrity?” She giggled excitedly and Y/N sighed.

“I doubt it.”

“Hey, I think it’s very likely. Apparently Gwenyth is really into this scene.” Nina informed and Y/N sniggered as Nina started going on about wanting to know if this starting while she was with Chris Martin or post Chris Martin.

*******

“We’ll need to see your ID, have it ready. If you have a bag or purse with you please be prepared to have it searched.” A burly man right at the entrance spoke to the few people that were waiting in line to get in. Y/N felt comforted that they took precautions like this. Eli was texting his friend, Anton, to let him know they were waiting to get in and Anton assured he’d meet them by the cover fee counter. Soon Anton was with them and Amit was showing the receipt for the pre-paid cover charge and they were being scanned in and given a wrist band allowing them access to the members only area as Anton shared they were his guests, he greeted each of them enthusiastically before guiding them to the entrance. From this lobby Y/N could hear the music slightly and they were buzzed in, kind of like a marijuana dispensary - which might scare some but it made her feel like the club owners wanted to be certain that no crazies just wandered in for the safety and integrity of their members. 

Y/N wasn’t sure what to expect when she walked in but when she made it past the threshold of the cherry red door it certainly wasn’t what she walked in to, which was literally a normal looking bar/club but nicer. The decor was beautiful and classy, heavily modeling after art-deco in its interior architecture and design. Furthermore, it was opulent and tasteful. It was already hosting a good amount of people as well from all demographics it seemed. She was a bit distracted with looking around until she felt a hand snake into her own and she glanced up to see Amit pulling her towards a set of stairs.

“This way, YN.” He smiled and she nodded and followed him up the staircase towards the VIP section. 

Once again, a security guard clad in an all black suit was at the top to greet them and asking to see their wristbands or membership cards. Anton was quick to show his card and the rest of them their black, plastic wristbands before he removed the black velvet rope from hindering their path. Anton was greeted by a server asking about their table as Y/N looked around again. There was another bar up here and a couple people sitting at the high chairs around it. The Member/VIP area overlooked the entire bottom level, sort of like a balcony. And there were little seating areas lining the walls, a few of them were taken - you could either choose a little booth or couches with a little table in between, they had reserved one of the lounge looking areas with the couches. She was grateful for that, it would be easier to slip out if needed. They got comfortable and soon a server came by to get their drink orders.

“Just a glass of the Malbec.” Y/N said with a kind smile and the lady nodded.

She was still looking around in disbelief that at any moment any one of these people could decide to just wander to the back of the club and hook up with whatever consenting parter they wanted, or maybe even go alone. She was tense, she could feel it in her jaw and rigid posture. She could feel eyes on her, but she stuck to just looking down at her perfectly manicured nails or between her friends as they all laughed and talked, evidently a lot more relaxed than she was. 

“Your wine, miss.” the young girl said and Y/N looked up with a smile and mumbled a thank you.

“Can you get me another? I’m just gonna down this one real quick.” She said with slight embarrassment and the girl giggled.

“Sure thing. First time?” She asked and Y/N nodded.

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to do anything. You can hang out here and if anyone gives you trouble just let one of us know. We want you to feel comfortable and safe.” She assured and Y/N exhaled and nodded.

“Thank you…?”

“Britney.” She said and Y/N nodded.

“Britney, thank you.”

“You got it, girl. I’ll be back with your Malbec in a few minutes.” She assured and hurried off to the next group over. She looked down at her glass and exhaled quickly before quickly downing the glass, she didn’t even get to savor it, but she needed the liquid courage.

********

Harry didn’t frequently come to these kinds of places. His visits had been few but he remembers just how nervous he was to be seen or dragged into something he wasn’t certain of much like the girl across the VIP area that had caught his eye. He smiled in endearment as he watched her let out a big exhale before chugging her glass of red. He wondered what wine she was drinking as he took a slow and easy sip of his Malbec. Letting it sit on his tongue to really enjoy the flavor of the bouquet before swallowing it down as he glanced over to her again.

He chugged alcohol his first time too. Well, he had about four or five tequila shots and was hiding behind his friends most of the night. Sure he’d peek out and flirt with people occasionally, but he didn’t even kiss someone that first time, he was too drunk to go through with anything. His second time he did end up pulling a woman who was a bit older than him, he was just 21 at the time, but she just sucked him off in a dark corner and he ended up fingering her but chickened out when she asked to fuck. His third time he decided that he would just watch the debauchery - the things he had seen would sometimes come to the front of his mind and make him blush. It was something he didn’t know would impact him the way it had, especially when people took note of who was watching what they were doing. Harry wasn’t one to namedrop himself or use his fame for anything, but he was well aware of the weight it carried and he must admit, it did turn him on to see people get their brains fucked out but choose to hold eye contact with him through the large windows set into the voyeuristic rooms instead of their partner’s. He saw a lot and in the end he did end up hooking up with someone, he remembers him well and he smiled as the memory came back to him for a brief moment - that was one of the first times he had given in to his cravings for a man and for trying bondage and well, there was no going back after that time. Around his sixth or seventh visit is when he got in on some group sex and that was liberating. He must admit that he had micro dosed on some drugs because he didn’t want his nerves to hold him back from trying what he wanted to try and it helped. Now he felt comfortable and confident in this setting, unlike his pretty, little friend across the way.

“Someone’s caught your eye?” His friend Marco asked him lowly and Harry nodded as he turned his attention to his friend.

“I think it’s her first time.” He said and Marco hummed in agreement as he took note of the girl across the room, she looked tense and out of place a bit.

“Well then you ought to leave her alone.” Marco chuckled and Harry tutted as he furrowed his brows.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asked and Marco gave him a look, “What?” Harry questioned and Marco shook his head.

“H, you know very well what. You’re insatiable and intense and it’s her first time.” Marco said pointedly.

“I can be nice.” Harry said, “Maybe I’ll just flirt with her a little, get her number, we don’t have to do anything.” He said to his friend before glancing back to her. She was gorgeous and she looked like a good, wholesome girl, he would be lying to himself if he denied having a deep, twisted need to completely ruin her, but he had self control. He was a grown ass man, he could play it cool.

“Look, I just don’t want you to regret it and feel bad about it tomorrow, OK? I know you’re a good guy but you’re also kind of an animal when you come here.” He said lowly and Harry rolled his eyes and had another sip of his wine.

Marco was right of course. Harry lived a very strict and regimented life. He thrived on predictability and routine in his personal life because his job was chaotic and intense and at times unpredictable. Places like these were great because there was a no phones policy, all devices had to be off , he’d seen a few people get kicked out for it once, which meant that with every interaction he had, he could just be himself 100% - not the media curated sweetheart he had trained extensively to be. Sure, he was still elusive about his private life, but he could flirt and make advances freely without feeling self-conscious. He could turn people away and in the same way gawk at others. He could drink as much as he wanted and dance and just be a real fucking person without anyone around here judging him. Sure, there were plenty of eyes on him as soon as he’d descend into the more crowded areas, but it was different. He didn’t ever fuck in the voyeuristic rooms, private rooms only because that was something he wanted to keep for himself, but he must admit that he was very intense and people still followed even if they weren’t the ones he was honed in on. Sure, they couldn’t see, but when he’d get done he’d see the group of people rush away from the door as they had been listening in on him and whoever he’d fucked. During his last few visits he had been around almost all night and he’d worn out a partner or two and he wasn’t done either, so yeah, maybe he needed to take it down several levels if he decided to go talk to this girl. Again, he wasn’t ashamed or concerned for being seen at this kind of place anymore, but he still slinked back against the darker corner booth where he and his friends were, like a predator on the hunt, he didn’t want to be seen until he was ready for his intended target to see him.

*********

Y/N had been able to relax after downing that first glass of wine. She wanted to slow down from here on out because she didn’t want a hang over, so she was now savoring her second glass as she started to feel the effects of the alcohol buzzing through her veins. The club was louder now as more people had come in and the downstairs area was busier with dancing bodies and the amount of people that were smushed into corners and walls as they made out and dry humped each other was impressive. Eli, Amit, and Nina had gone down to dance and Anton agreed to stay with her and continue people watching from the rails.

“So why’d they drag you out here?” He asked with a chuckled and she sighed and smiled.

“I’ve had a rough couple weeks at work. I’ve just been really stressed and tense and they said I need to let loose and get out of my comfort zone.” She explained and Anton nodded.

“I see. Are you interested in hooking up with someone?” He asked and she bit her lip and shrugged.

“I don’t…know. Probably not.” She giggled timidly, “Are you?”

“Yeah, was kind of hoping to see someone I had run into a few weeks ago but I can’t seem to find them yet.” He said and she nodded in understanding.

“You didn’t exchange numbers or something?”

“No, it keeps it exciting.” He grinned, “I figure if fate wants you to meet someone you will.” He said with a hopeful smile.

“That’s… that’s really beautiful. I really like that.” She nodded with a grin before taking another sip from her glass. Hearing Anton say that really shifted her headspace, she didn’t want to be sulking on the sidelines of life like she typically was. She was slave to her routine and she liked that, it was comfortable and easy, it allowed her to be great at her job when she didn’t have to think so much about everything else but it was starting to take a toll, admittedly so. She didn’t want to close herself off from opportunities and experiences; she still didn’t intend to hookup with anyone, but she would definitely allow herself to have some fun.

“Excuse me-” they heard and both turned around to see a gorgeous and tall man behind them. Y/N’s eyes went a bit wide for a moment as she allowed herself to look him over the same way that he was looking her over and then Anton, “Are you two together?” He asked and Anton smiled as he draped a hand around her lower back when he felt Y/N tense up beside him.

********

Harry’s grip tightened on his glass when he saw someone approach the girl he wanted and the man with her. He stood from his seat and went over to the rail where it was better lit and maybe she would finally figure out who had been staring at her almost all night. He wasn’t sure if the man with her was her partner, they had been sitting beside each other before and as they talked now he was close and almost covering her with his body and even now as they chatted with this handsome stranger his hand looped around her lower back and his fingers landed on her hips. She leaned in to his touch and it made him jealous.

*********

“Excuse me, are you two together?” The gorgeous man before them asked.

“No, we’re not.” Anton smiled kindly at the stranger.

“Oh, OK. Well ummm either way, would you be interested in a threesome?” The man asked blatantly and Y/N’s eyebrows rose which made the man smile and Anton laugh lightly as she scooted further into his side.

“I-I’m alright thank you.” She squeaked out.

“OK, no worries.” The man chuckled and then looked to Anton.

“I wouldn’t mind finding a third. Let’s dance first, yeah?” Anton asked and the man nodded, “Let me just go finish my drink real quick.” He said and hurried off to their area leaving Y/N and this mystery man alone together.

“You’re very beautiful, you know? Been looking at you since you came in.” The man said to Y/N and she blushed hard as she looked down to her feet.

“Ummm…I…th-thanks.” She hummed timidly as she looked back into his eyes.

“Lots of people have been looking at you. I think it’s the whole coy and naive act you’ve got going on.” He flirted and she giggled.

“Oh man, I wish it was an act.” She said back and decide that flirting with him wouldn’t cause any harm, “Can I tell you a secret?” She asked and he nodded and she grabbed his forearm and tiptoed to reach his ear better despite the fact that she was wearing platform heels, “It’s my first time at one of these and I have no clue that I’m doing.” She admitted and he pulled back with a grin.

“Well, happy first time.” He said and she giggled, “It can be scary and intimidating your first time but you’ll discover that everyone here is nice and respectful, I’ve never had a bad experience.” He said and she nodded as she listened, “It also kind of helps to remember that deep down everyone is a bit nervous. Nervous about how they look, if people will reject them, if people will want to do more with them, but just enjoy the company we’re all here because well, sex is part of who we are, it’s an innate need we all have - to be with each other and to love and to show that physically - it’s not even that deep, like being in love or intimate, it’s loving in terms of appreciating humans and what we’re capable of.” He explained his rationale and she nodded, “Just feel it out, make some friends, get drunk, dance!” He said and she giggled, “Just have fun.”

“Thank you, that’s good advice.” Y/N said and he nodded.

“Of course.” He said with a grin and just like she’d been feeling all night, there were still eyes on her as she chatted with this man, “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“I’m Max, it’s nice to meet you.” He said extending a hand and she shook it.

“Ready?” Anton asked Max as he came back, smirking at Y/N, he saw her flirting and decided to finish off his drink in slow motion.

“Yeah, let’s get down there.” Max said.

“Do you want to come dance?” Anton asked Y/N and she bit her lip and looked between him and Max for a moment.

“In a minute, I want to finish this off.” She said and they smiled and nodded before hurrying down. 

***********

She stood there for a few more minutes, she was trying to find her friends but there were so many people that she couldn’t spot them any longer. Still, she could feel people watching her, eating her up with their eyes, even some of the people downstairs were glancing up at her and smiling at her, blowing her kisses, taking her in. She could feel her heart pounding in excitement at this level of attention, she was never confident being the center of attention, but this felt different. People were devouring the illusion they had of her, they didn’t know her but they were taking what they saw at face value and conjuring up whatever fantasies they had in their mind with her and that didn’t bother her as much as she thought it would.

Y/N found herself getting a bit nervous again and she looked up from the lower level and across the room, her gaze finally fixing itself at the other end of the VIP area. Standing there, leaning against the rails just like her was another tall, handsome man whose eyes were fixed on her already and soon they were making eye contact and she felt even more nervous than before. This man wasn’t a stranger though, that was Harry Styles and he was looking right at her. She recognized him immediately without any doubt. She could feel her heart pounding hard and the butterflies in her stomach were multiplying at an exaggerated rate making her feel a little sick as the lump in her throat bobbed as his eyes stayed on hers. His gaze was intense and it was hard for her to maintain the facade of confidence under his scrutiny so she just offered a polite smile before turning around quickly and heading back to her seat. 

Once her eyes left his she finally felt like she could breathe. What she would give to pull out her phone and play sudoku or solitaire right now to avoid the embarrassment of what just happened - she was so awkward! She wanted the earth to open up and swallow her whole not leaving any evidence of her existence whatsoever. Despite living in LA for the last seven years of her life she had never ever encountered a celebrity and seeing one at a sex club, well that was really something. She put her wine glass down on the little table before her and reached for her little purse. She felt around inside for her lip gloss since she suddenly felt that her mouth and lips had gone completely dry. She finished applying it and was just twisting the cap back on when she saw a pair of dark boots stop beside her from her peripheral vision. She cursed mentally at her nerves and she decided to pretend that she was too focused on the lip gloss to see that anyone had come up to her. Then she heard him clear his throat and she swears her brain stopped sending the signals for her to breathe as she turned her attention to him, their eyes met once more and he offered a friendly smile to her.

“Hi, I’m Harry.” He introduced himself casually, his voice deep, rich, and smooth as honey. He seemed so confident and comfortable. The energy wafting about him was remarkable and intense.

He was maybe a foot or so away and even from there she could smell hints of his cologne, it wasn’t overpowering, but it was sweet and spicy, and it seemed to match his vibe very well. He was wearing a simple suit that was fitted to perfection. It accentuated his big, broad shoulders and it tapered down to showcase just how slim he was. In true Harry Styles fashion, she top he was wearing under his jacket was exposing part of his toned and hair smattered chest. His hair was kind of parted to the side, letting the longer hair towards the front of his head curl and fall perfectly across his forehead. He was slightly stubbly but it didn’t make him look unkempt, if anything it really added to the masculine structure of his face. He was absolutely breathtaking.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” She responded.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” He greeted, extending a hand and she immediately stood for him and took his hand, shaking it firmly.

“You too.” She said and he smiled again.

“I hope you don’t mind me coming over, just saw you got left alone and I know how nerve-wracking your first time can be so I thought I’d come over and say hello, make it less awkward?” He finished in a bit of a question and they both laughed softly.

“Is it that obvious?” She asked lowly as she cast her vision to the ground between their feet and he smiled at her, completely endeared by her demure and cautious manner.

“Just a little bit.” He said with a playful grin and she giggled before looking back up into his eyes.

“D-do you want to sit?” She asked him.

“Only if I’m not imposing.”

“You’re not at all.” She assured and he smiled as he came closer as she sat down and she thought that he would take a spot across from her, but instead he planted himself right beside her. They were facing each other and his right knee was almost touching her left knee and he fixed his suit jacket a bit before raising his own wine glass towards hers.

“Well, cheers to your first time.” He said and she smiled.

“Cheers.” She said clinking the glass gently, eyes transfixed on where the crystal glasses met.

“Nuh-uh, we need a do-over of that. Superstition says that not making eye contact during a cheers results in seven years of bad sex and I don’t know about you, but I am not willing to take any chances.” He said and she chuckled.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know!” She laughed as she made sure to keep eye contact and then went in for another clink; correctly this time.

“Much better.” He hummed before they both took a drink, “You must be a really good friend to come here with everyone else.” He said and she grinned.

“I mean, I would like to think I am a great friend, but ummm my friends they ummm, they came here for me. Or at least it was supposed to be for me to “let loose” and “get out of my head for a bit” but uh, I don’t know… I’m not usually the shy person so it’s weird for me to feel so timid… I guess I’m just so out of my element?” She explained and he nodded along as he listened.

“Well, I usually am the shy person and I mean, here it’s nice because no one can film me or take pictures of me, so I can put myself out there without so much pressure and at first I was really timid about it all but I’ve always had fun here and people are nicer than you think.” He said and she nodded.

“Yeah, I’m beginning to see that.” She smiled at him, “Do you ummm, come here a lot?” She asked and he shook his head.

“Not really, maybe once a year, twice if I’m feeling really risqué.” He chuckled and she giggled along.

“You don’t have to answer, but have you…hooked up here?” She asked nervously and he smirked at her with a playful yet incredulous look in his eyes.

“I think you already know the answer to that, Y/N.” He stated with a chuckle and she glanced down into her glass with a bashful smile, giving it a swirl to aerate the wine.

“Well I don’t want to assume, you know…” she explained with a little shrug and he grinned.

“I appreciate that.” He replied, “But I guess I’m just as depraved as the rest of this bunch.” He joked and she laughed softly.

“No, it’s not depraved.” she said immediately, “This guy came to ask my friend and I if we were interested in him earlier-”

“Yeah, I saw that.” He said and that made her wonder how long he had been looking at her but she continued on with her story.

“Well, he told me that humans have an innate need to just be with each other to show our appreciation and love for each other physically, he’s not wrong about that. So I think that as depraved as this might seem to some, it’s actually quite…human and beautiful.” She shrugged at him.

“Yeah, he was definitely onto something with that.” Harry smiled at her, “And what about you? How do feel about all of this?” He gestured around him with his free hand.

“Well, nervous for sure.” She said and he nodded, “But then my other friend told me that if fate wants you to meet someone you will so I’ve decided to just… keep an open mind.” She decided with a shrug, her eyes once again had diverted away from his as she looked around the room and he really liked the fact that he made her a bit nervous, but he also didn’t want her attention to wander. He wanted it for himself. He wanted to show her that fate wanted her to meet him.

“That’s actually very wise and well it’s also very brave of you to decide to be open minded about something like this.” He encouraged her and she smiled.

“Thank you.” She responded before taking another sip of her wine.

“It’s the truth and well, I am very pleased that fate had you sitting across from me tonight. I think she really wanted us to meet.” He flirted and she giggled nervously.

“Did she now?” She asked and he smiled down into his wine glass, he was playing coy and she knew it, but his dimple was so cute when he smiled like that. Harry was a mix of effortless and confident, delicate and masculine, boyish and seasoned - all of these things mixed together was what made him so alluring. Anyone with eyes and a brain would agree that when he was feeling himself like this, the man was undeniably irresistible.

“Definitely.” He reaffirmed, “You know, I wasn’t even going to come tonight.” He shared and she hummed in interest, “Yeah, I was feeling rather lazy and antisocial. My friends were just really in a mood to come out and I guess I didn’t want to be the stick in the mud, you know?”

“Yeah, totally get that.” She agreed, “Well, I am gad you came out.” She smiled at him before looking away as soon as their eyes met and he chuckled.

“Don’t avoid looking at me.” He chuckled, “Or am I making you feel that nervous?” He asked carefully and she felt her heart rate accelerating at his direct question before fighting her best to look at him and maintain eye contact.

“I guess you are making me nervous a bit.”

“Why?” He asked genuinely, “You can totally tell me to bugger off if you’re uncomfortable or just want to be alone, I won’t be offended.” He assured her, his expression was one of slight concern, but he tried to keep a smile on his lips.

“Yeah, I think I would actually like to be alone for a bit.” She responded as her eyes met his and he was immediately disappointed. She watched as his smile faltered a bit but he nodded and moved to stand up, “Wait, wait, I’m kidding!” She said quickly, her hand reached for his forearm and squeezed a bit when she saw how quickly he was about to leave and he sighed and proceeded to laugh nervously.

“You’re mean.” He laughed away the tension and disappointment he felt as she giggled, “Felt so bad thinking I was making you uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry, Harry. It was an ill-timed joke.” She apologized, “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad and I don’t feel uncomfortable in the slightest.” She reassured, maintaining eye contact so that he knew that she was being truthful.

“Promise?”

“I promise.” She nodded and removed her hand from his forearm.

“If you do at any point please let me know, OK?”

“Yeah, I will.” She assured him, “I just…I am really nervous to be here. Like I said before. I know it’s not that serious but I’m just worried that someone will try and persuade me to hook up or something and I won’t be able to say no. Like, I swear I’ve moved past that in other areas of my life, but this is a new situation and I feel like I would feel really bad rejecting someone.”

“Well, you saw just now how I was ready to leave you alone in a moment if you wanted that. Everyone in here will be like that, Y/N. If you’re going around being a creep and a nuisance they will kick you out. Besides, it’s not like there aren’t hundreds of other options for those that are looking for a hookup if they get rejected.” He explained and she nodded.

“Right. That’s true.” She said and he nodded, “You didn’t initially want to come out tonight, but ummm now that you’re here what do you…plan to do with your evening?” She asked tactfully.

“I’m not all that sure, we’ll see where the night takes me.” He said simply and she nodded, “So you were dragged here to let loose, what is causing you to feel so wound up? If you don’t mind me asking.” He added in quickly.

“Just work. It’s been intense for the last month or so. I’m now in an administrative position and have people working under me and I know that I’m good at what I do. I know that I’m capable and smart and driven-” she explained and he nodded, “But ummm…you know sometimes all your energy and time goes towards one thing and it just drains you.” She said and he nodded, fully understanding what she was saying, “It’s a lot of responsibility and well, sometimes you don’t always feel worthy of that, I guess?”

“Mmmm, imposter syndrome.” He hummed and she nodded.

“Exactly!” She exclaimed and then sighed.

“I know how you feel, as you know I’m well…me.” He said and then sucked in a breath as he cringed, “That came out-ughhh…I can’t believe I just said that.” He chuckled with embarrassment and she laughed softly.

“No, it’s OK!” She giggled, “I know what you meant, I know you aren’t like… flaunting your fame or whatever. I can’t imagine that it’s easy at any point. What you do and have to deal with.” She talked him down from his embarrassment and he nodded, feeling a little less flustered.

“Yeah. And you know sometimes I wake up and think “why me?” Like who am I to be so lucky to live out my childhood dreams, like I don’t feel like I’m deserving. And there are other times when I think who am I to be so unlucky that I have to deal with everything else that comes along with it… it was harder before, when I was younger, to sort of make peace with those questions and feelings. But ummm, it gets easier and well, from what you’re telling me you know you can do it. You know that you’re good at what you do and I think that’s the best way to go about it. Yeah, there will always be highs and lows, but believing in yourself is a huge part of being able to get out of those dark places. I mean from what I’ve heard about your friends they also know that you’re something special and want to help you get out of that rough patch you’re going through.” He said with an encouraging smile and she nodded as she looked into his eyes, “And well, it never really hurts to come to a place like this and get a little ego boost. It’s nice to be reminded that you’re appealing, helps to know that other people see it in you too and maybe that’s what they wanted to do by bringing you here tonight?” He suggested and she smirked as she looked up at him.

“Is that why you come here? An ego boost?” She teased and he laughed softly and shrugged his shoulders.

“Sometimes, yes.” He admitted with a grin, “I am kind of an attention-seeker, can’t lie about that. And well, I know most of the people I end up meeting here are just in it because well, it’s Harry Styles, but ehhh, I know who I am and what I’m worth, they can have their fun and it’s not like I wouldn’t be getting anything out of it either.” He reasoned as she hummed with a grin.

“What’s that like though? Like…are you just like… out in the open?” She asked and he chuckled and shook his head. He then explained that while there were rooms with windows for those voyeuristic folk, there were a variety of private spaces as well. He was so easy about it all and it made her feel a lot better, “You know what? I like you.” She stated as her eyes flickered between his own and he chuckled and now he was the one looking away bashfully for the first time, “You’ve got a good head on your shoulders.” She concluded and he widened his legs just a smidge more so that his knee brushed up against hers and she looked down quickly.

“I appreciate that.” He said quickly, to play off his little move to create an opportunity to touch her in some capacity, to escalate things and feel things out. He wanted her to know that he was very interested in her and he knew that he might not be doing anything physical with her tonight, but he at least wanted to get her number. 

“Hey guys,” Britney came up with a smile, “Another glass of the Malbec?” She asked Y/N since she was maybe 2 or 3 sips away from being finished and considering they were drinking the same thing Harry thought Britney was talking to him.

“I’m good, thanks Britney.” She said and Harry also offered a smile at her saying, “It’s alright, I’m still working on this one.” They spoke at the same time and Britney shook her head for a second.

“Oh my god, sorry I didn’t get any of that.” She giggled considering it was quite loud inside.

“Are we drinking the same thing?” He asked Y/N and she giggled and nodded.

“I guess so.” She laughed.

“You’re good though?” He asked and she nodded as he turned to Britney, “We’re good for now, thank you.” He said and she smiled and nodded and when Harry had turned back towards Y/N, Britney did not skip out on the chance to shoot her a quick wink before hurrying off to the other patrons up there. There was something nagging her in the back of her brain and despite her inner self telling her that Harry would judge her, she knew logically that he wasn’t that kind of person, so she decided to raise her question, “What is it?” He asked with a small smile and she bit her lip nervously for a moment, not missing how he focused in on the nervous habit and licked over his own lips before focusing back on her eyes.

“Y-you said there were rooms w-with windows in some places?” She asked, voice a bit loud so that he could hear over the music, he nodded, “D-does this place have some rooms like that?” She inquired and he nodded his confirmation, “Oh. OK.” She replied and proceeded to just chug the remnants of her wine. She would need it if she were going to venture down at some point and have a look. 

Harry observed as she tensed a bit after asking her question and then chugged her wine to ease up a bit. She still seemed on edge, it was normal, but the curiosity of what really goes on down there was getting the best of her and it was turning him on a bit. She was absolutely gorgeous and even if they didn’t do anything, he knew that he wanted to go down with her and show her what everyone else was doing down there. He wanted to make sure that she’d never forget about it or him in passing, he knew he would definitely never forget her and even have a wank over her later, undoubtedly. He was so into her and he loved the idea of being the first person to show her all of the depraved things that went on in places like this. He wanted her to think about him doing those things to her, or at least he hoped she would. He would at least offer to take her down there to see and if she said no then he’d go off and find someone else to sink his teeth into for the night; he had nothing to lose.

“If you’re curious we can go see what’s going on down there tonight?” He offered and she rolled her lips together as she weighed out her options. She was starting to feel so nervous again, but that kind of nervous that is building up right before you’re about to jump out of an airplane. It’s that feeling where a part of you is wanting to pussy out, even though you know you’re not going to because you kind of can’t anymore. You just need to build up that last inkling of courage to just do it. To jump. 

“Ummm, yeah, let’s go see.” She finally said looking into his eyes, her eyes nervously darting from one to the other.

“You sure?” He asked with a playful grin and she nodded.

“Yes, otherwise I’m just gonna continue imagining these…insane things…like I am now. And I just need to dispel the idea that it’s scary down there.” She said and reached for her glass of wine again and then frowned when she saw it was empty.

“Want mine?” He offered up his glass.

“Are you done?” She asked and he held up his finger and drank another swig before handing it over to her and she quickly knocked back the rest of it and rolled her shoulders back before setting it down and looking over to him as she swallowed the mouthful. It made his mind imagine an obscene thing. Harry then smiled lightly as he saw a droplet of wine run down her chin, barely clinging on. He reached forward and swiped his thumb over it to clean it off.

“Spilled a bit.” He hummed before flickering his eyes up hers as he removed his hand.

“Thanks.” She responded quietly and he smiled at her before he stood. As soon as Y/N stood up Harry had a look around as she adjusted her dress, she was certainly the best option here tonight and that was evident in the way that a number of people took her in and then looked to him before sighing and going back to their drinks or their people watching and other conversations. He couldn’t help the victorious and cocky smirk that twitched his lip up to the left as he saw everyone else’s reactions.

“Ready?” He asked and she glanced up to him and smiled before she exhaled and nodded.

“Ready.” She confirmed with a nod.

“Alright.” He smiled and reached over the little couch she was on to grab her jacket and she smiled at his kind gesture. 

Y/N followed close behind him to the side of the room he had been sitting on. He nodded to his friends as they passed them, not bothering to interrupt as they were also in the middle of some conversation with what she assumes were potentials. She politely smiled as she walked past them as well, given that they had initiated eye contact with her. Upon reaching yet another security guard posted at a door Harry just showed his card, she assumes, and the man opened up the door for them. She hurried in when Harry signaled for her to go first. They both mumbled a thank you to the man before they made their way down dimly lit hall. The carpet beneath their feet was hot pink or red. But there were suggestive Rorschach style paintings  lining the hallway which she was briefly taking in as she approached the end of it. They could still hear the music from the club portion playing in here, just muffled down, she assumed there was a lot of soundproofing here.

“So up here it’s just single rooms.” He explained as he came up behind her. Everything was also arranged in a circle with a railing in the center that allowed you to look downstairs, “You can look over.” He encouraged and she stepped out and looked left to right, seeing the walls lined with doors. It looked like the doors with a green light were the open ones. She got to the railing and Harry came up beside her as she looked down.

“Oh my god.” She said quietly as she saw in the center a lounge area with those huge couches and it was littered in people who were talking, making out, watching… They heard a faint ding and Y/N glanced to her left to see the elevator door open and two women scurried out into the nearest open room. “Can we go down there?” She asked and he nodded. She was less nervous and more curious now about how everything worked and so he started leading them towards the elevator and soon they were back on the ground level. She was even more in shock when she got down there and had a better view of everything. There was a bar to their left, tucked under the second floor balcony. The people on the big couches were really going for it, working themselves up for more. She saw a neon sign hanging over the entrance of a broader hallway at the opposite end of the room they’d just entered, “Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here” is what it say and she turned to Harry who chuckled and then dipped down to reach her ear better.

“I mean that’s a bit dramatic but in a way you’re never really gonna be the same after you see everything going on in there.” He explained before pulling back just a bit and she looked to him a bit nervously, “We don’t have to go in.” He said to her and she looked from him back to the sign as she pondered the options before her.

Maybe this was exactly the kind of thing she needed to shock her out of her weird mental state but also, her dry spell. As attractive as Harry was, she was positive that he was just being nice to her, he didn’t seem to be putting any moves on her. Yes, he was a complete flirt, but he seemed to err on the side of caution, which was nice, but a part of her started to wonder what he would be up to now if he hadn’t wandered over to her tonight. She was into him and she knew that when she got home she would certainly pull out her trusty toy and play with herself to the memory of his voice and the smell of his cologne, and his big hands and intense eyes. It would help to hear him explain things to her or encourage her to look at something or describe any smutty thing they saw. So yeah, maybe physically he wouldn’t end her dry spell, but he would certainly help with her pushing past it. She swallowed thickly and blinked up at him.

“I think I do want to go see.” She said to him and he just held her eye contact for a few more seconds and she nodded again, reaffirming her decision and he licked over his lips.

“Alright, just grab my hand, want people to know we’re together. Don’t want them bugging you or me.” He said to her and she nodded, slipping her hand into his as he offered it up and he proceeded to guide them over. 

“These two first rooms at the entrance of the hall, they’re the orgy rooms.” He explained and she tensed a bit upon hearing that as they neared the opening of the hallway. It was a long hallway. The closer they got the more prominent the sounds of people fucking permeated the air, “These have curtains instead of doors so anyone can go in at any time. But of course, gotta ask for permission before you join in.” He said and she bit on her lip and nodded in understanding, “Wanna see?” He asked, stopping by one of the curtains and she glanced up to him with a nervous smile.

“No, that’s alright, I can hear plenty. I’m sure I can visualize what’s…going on.” She giggled nervously.

“You’d think. But ummm…yeah, the things you see in group sex are…things you can’t even imagine...” He said to her with a slight furrow in his brow and her eye brows raised in surprise.

“D-do you like doing that?” She asked and he shrugged.

“I’ve done it before, but I’m not exactly jumping at the opportunity to do it again. I’d really have to be in the mood for it I think.” He explained and she nodded.

“What was it like?” She asked. The soundtrack to their conversation was now the sex sounds coming from the orgy just a few feet away from them.

“Well…being me…the time I did that I quickly became the center of attention. Which was nice to some extent.” He recounted, “But it was a lot. Very overwhelming fir sure.” He chuckled and she nodded in understanding, “It was fun, but exhausting. I also had some things to do the day after and I was dead and sore and…yeah, just bad timing I think.” He explained with his eyes a bit narrowed at the memory.

“I can imagine.” She chuckled and he nodded.

“C’mon.” He said and led them down the hallway until they reached an intersection. To the left there was a sign for bathrooms and a mostly desolate hallway. But the room that Harry was pulling them towards was one with windows. There were several people lined up around the room watching whatever was going on in there, she couldn’t see yet as Harry was before her. Harry tiptoed a bit to see over the people crowded around and then turned to her, “It’s a threesome, two girls, one guy.” He informed her, “Do you want to see?” He asked her and she felt a bit embarrassed in admitting it, but she nodded. He smirked and she rolled her eyes, “None of that, I was just gonna say good, because from the glimpse I caught it looked good.” He chuckled and she sighed and he turned back and pulled her into the crowd. The moment people realized it was him, they started moving to the sides on their own to let him get up near the window. She did feel a bunch of eyes on her as he pulled her along and then he made a space between his body and the window looking into the room and she scooted in as his body encased her between him and the large window. 

Y/N wasn’t going to lie, it was mesmerizing to watch these very real people pleasuring each other. Currently one girl was getting fucked from behind while she ate the other girl out. She was intently watching everything going on and the sounds they were making. And from the corner of her eye she saw some movement and glanced over to see a man rubbing over the evident bulge in his trousers. She quickly reverted her attention to the scene before her and dug her fingers into her purse. Harry’s body wasn’t directly pressed into hers, but she could feel his warmth and his chest would slightly touch her back when he’d take a deep breath. She let her eyes glance down to his hands resting on the ledge of the window frame. She bit her lip and felt herself start to get wet when he suddenly tightened up his fists and she quickly glanced up to see what had affected him so much and it was that the man now had his large hand around the neck of the girl he was fucking. Y/N wasn’t a stranger to choking, she had only had it done to her once before and she had a phenomenal orgasm from the floaty feeling resulting from the slight breath play and she now looked back at Harry’s hands and she could picture them wrapped around her throat as he pounded her into a mattress.

“I think they’re a couple, the other girl’s leaving.” He pointed out quietly and she glanced up from his hand and focused back on the couple inside as the other girl slipped out and someone immediately went up to her and she rushed off with them. After the third was gone a large portion of the viewers left, but she was just stuck there, watching as this man turned over the reaming woman and sunk back into her in the missionary position, still gripping around her neck as he railed her so hard that her eyes were pinching shut as she cried out in ecstasy.

“Fuck.” She whispered subconsciously and Harry smiled, but didn’t respond. He wondered what about what this couple was doing elicited that reaction from her. He wished he could hear her thoughts. Harry was growing hard, he was trying to keep it at bay, but he couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to push Y/N’s hips back so that he could grind against her ass while they watched this couple fuck. He wanted to slip his hands under that short dress she was wearing and feel at her knickers, he wondered if she was already wet. The way she suddenly shifted the weight of her body from one leg to the other silently confirmed that for him. Y/N’s breathing picked up as the girl started to finish and then she turned around just to be right up against Harry, who smirked down at her.

“I think the point was to watch them come.” He chuckled as he maintained eye contact with her. She glanced down at the chain of his necklace peeking out from his shirt with a timid smile.

“They’re so into each other it seemed a rather intimate moment to me.” She shrugged and Harry hummed.

“Well, should we keep looking around?” He asked and she looked back into his eyes and nodded. He extended his hand to her and she took it and smiled up at him. The warmth of his hand overtook her own, and it was so much bigger than hers. Her hands were on the smaller side, so she felt protected in a way. 

As Harry guided her further down the hall she started to feel more at ease about this. She knew that he would take good care of her and in turn she was slightly expelling her own inhibitions and trusting him a bit more. She wouldn’t question it when he would pull her in another direction and see other things around them. In all honesty she was quite impressed at how brave people were. Just putting themselves out there like that, not caring who was watching them in such vulnerable and often compromising positions. She could never be that brave. Y/N had never really explored the bounds of her sexuality too much; she’d never experimented or dabbled in any kink or anything that was more than the basic vanilla stuff. Just that one time a few years back when a guy got a bit rough with her towards the end there and choked her - that was definitely the best sex of her life, she thinks.

“Have you ever done anything like that?” He asked Y/N as his chest brushed against her back and she shook her head in response.

She watched the restrained man getting his cock sucked while he writhed around in what she could only imagine was frustration and overstimulation. He was very clearly having an orgasm, but his partner wasn't slowing down or stopping, it made her nervous for the stranger.

“Have you?” She asked him as she glanced up at him and he smirked. She just needed to look away for a moment because the scene was just too much…the sounds the man was making and the way it looked like he was trying to get away, it made her feel strange and for her heart to pound.

“Perhaps.” He said cooly and she giggled, reading between the lines.

“On which end?” She questioned and he smirked.

“S’not that important is it?” He responded meekly and she smiled because for once he seemed to be the one that was a little bit bashful.

“Alright…keep your secrets.” She hummed playfully and then turned back to watch some more and she felt him chuckle behind her. 

As much as she was nervous for this stranger, she just couldn’t look away for too long. Realistically, Y/N knew that when it came to stuff like this there were safeguards in place to make sure that no one got hurt or was pushed beyond their limits. But it was curious to her why as much as this person was clearly struggling, they didn’t say anything to stop their partner from continuing what seemed to be pure torture at this point. She bit her lip in anxiety, but she couldn’t stop watching him just take it all. The man writhed and cried out and groaned and shouted in frustration as his partner continued sucking his cock. His legs were quite literally trembling as he fought to keep his composure.

She felt her insides turning because she knew if that were her she would’ve tapped out the moment something wasn’t pleasurable for her. She wasn’t averse to a bit of pain, like hair pulling, a few smacks to the ass, bruising hickeys, even the feeling of having to ride a bigger cock was a slightly uncomfortable feeling that she rather enjoyed, but this seemed…excessive. She gasped quietly when the man just let out a loud and tortured shout and his parter pulled away and started stroking his cock fervently, encouraging him to show people how much he could come, until he was shooting ropes and ropes of come onto the dark floor. The dominant partner laughed at him as he came undone; Y/N wasn’t sure if it was in pride or in a degrading manner, but the blurriness of the intent made a tingle shoot down her spine. The man tossed his head back with a satisfied smile as his chest rose and fell quickly as he mumbled his gratitude to his dominant partner.

That made her feel conflicted in a way. Wasn’t the point of sex to come? She didn’t feel that it was a reward or something to be earned, but viewing it in that capacity excited her to some extent. She shifted her feet a bit and then froze for a second when she realized that she had nearly soaked through her underwear. She was surprised that she hadn't noticed before, but she had been completely entrance in the scene before her. And now she was hyper aware of the way her clit was throbbing with need and how her skin was rising at attention.

Harry watched carefully as Y/N pressed her thighs together and he smiled knowingly. BDSM could look rather terrifying, even he was a bit apprehensive the first time he dipped his toe in that pool, but much like Y/N had just discovered, something about it was just incredibly alluring. Especially for people like him and like Y/N - they were control freaks, they had a hand in everything in their lives, and surrendering or relinquishing control was never an option and it was absolutely exhausting to always be so in control. The more he looked into it what ended up hooking him in was the egalitarianism of it all. Yes, the dominant partner had the reigns, but the submissive partner controlled the direction of it all - they were both equally in control. In his sexual experiences he’d been able to try being both, dominant and submissive, and he soon discovered that he had a taste for both. He was a switch through and through and right now, as he watched Y/N squirming in her spot as the dominant praised their submissive for being good and coming so much for her, he could see the goosebumps littering her arms and he wanted so badly to show her what she was missing. Harry hesitated for a moment before he let his hand run down her bare arm and she tensed for a second in surprise at his touch before she glanced back at him with a moony gaze.

“You alright?” He asked softly as he brought his face a bit closer to hers.

“I ummm…Yeah.” She finally said, “I’ve just ummm…I’ve never seen something like that before.” She said as she fully turned towards him.

“And how are you feeling?” He asked her as flatly as possible, because he knew that she was turned on, but he didn’t know if it was anything she wanted to act upon just yet or at all.

“Ummm…Confused?” She said to him, “But also…it was…” she bit her lip as she thought of the right word.

“Hot?” He asked with a small smile and she smiled timidly.

“Yeah…it was pretty hot.” She confirmed with a small smile and the look in his eyes was playful and dark. 

“Did you like it?”

“I…I think so.” She said breathlessly because it felt like suddenly no one else was around them. He smiled at her and reached for her hand.

“You think so?” He asked again teasingly as he started to pull her away as the scene was ending. Others immediately took their place. She followed him as he pulled her further down the hall and she smiled at him.

“Yeah. Why are you being weird?” She asked with a playful smile and he smirked.

“I’m not being weird, you’re being weird.” He said.

“Am not.” She giggled and he smirked at her knowingly.

“Did you imagine yourself as the dominant or the submissive?” He asked more quietly and she looked away timidly. “It’s not wrong to get turned on by that.” He said to her and she glanced up into his eyes.

“I know that.” She smiled, “I’m just…confused by what about that was a turn on for me?” She said inquisitively.

“Well do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“Can we talk over a drink?” She asked and he chuckled.

“Yeah, ummm, there’s a another VIP lounge at the back, there’s a bar there too if you want to go there?” He asked.

“Ummm, yeah. Let’s do that.” She agreed and he smiled at her and handed his hand to her before leading them down the hall. They got up to a counter and he showed them his card again and the security guard moved out of the entry way. There were just a handful of people in there, a pair of them were kissing. They sat on a loveseat against the back corner and almost immediately a waiter showed up. Y/N told Harry to pick what they’d drink and he just ordered them salty dogs with tequila though. They were getting settled in a bit before he started to question her.

“So…what about BDSM confuses you?” He asked with a smile, getting right to it and she laughed softly.

“Ummm…it was just like when the guy was getting his cock sucked…oh, thank you.” She giggled softly as the waiter placed her drink before her and Harry laughed at the small embarrassment she was subject to at the waiter’s timing.

“Thanks, mate.” He said as well before the guy slipped away, “You were saying?”

“Right, ummm…Oh! So I’m more confused about how I felt about what was going on. Like…if I were in that guy’s position I wouldn’t enjoy someone else watching me like that, but I…enjoyed watching that happen to…to him. Like it made me want to try.” She said and then reached for her drink and gulped a bit down. “I never thought I would like…watching.” She said and he smiled.

“Yeah, honestly it’s quite exhilarating for me too. Maybe because we’re empaths it’s easy to picture ourselves in that position?” He suggested and she smiled.

“Maybe so…” she hummed and they both had a drink as a few seconds of silence fell between them. Once Y/N cleared her mouth she spoke up, “So when you were watching that happen did you picture yourself as the dom or the sub?” She asked him the same question he’d asked her earlier.

“You first.” He said and she grinned, “It’s only fair.” He said and she rolled her eyes.

“Alright…” she sighed and took another drink before just smiling at him and shrugging timidly, “I mean…” she giggled and he grinned, waiting for her to say it, which made butterflies erupt in her tummy.

“I need to hear you say it.” He said through a small laugh and she sighed.

“I pictured myself as the sub, OK? I just have been in a dry spell apart from everything else I’ve got going on and it would be nice to be the receiver of anything for a bit.” She said, “And now you.” She insisted and he smiled at her.

“Tonight I pictured myself as the dom.”

“So you also sub?”

“Yeah, sometimes.” He said and she bit her lip and then glanced away with a grin, “What’s that about?” He asked in amusement.

“I just…pictured that and like…that’s an interesting picture.” She said simply, “I feel like you need to be in control.” She said and he nodded.

“Well yeah. I love control, I need control more often than not…but sometimes I don’t want to need it. And when I don’t want to need control…when I want to surrender…I switch.” He said with a small smile. “Being in control all the time can be exhausting.” He said and she smiled.

“Don’t I know it. But it’s also so nice…”

“That it is…and you know, that’s the cool thing about BDSM, both people are in control the whole time. It’s a sharing of the control, a perfect balance of giving and taking.” He elaborated, “Whichever part you get to play, they’re equally gratifying.” He explained to her and she thought about it for a moment.

“But like the submissive…why don’t they just…use the safe word if obviously it’s putting them through a lot? Like that guy we saw, clearly he was struggling.” She pointed out and he hummed.

“It could be for a lot of reasons…like for me a lot of it is more of a competition with myself and seeing if I can go further. I know I can handle it and that I’m strong and disciplined so I like to push my own limits. And again, within a scene your dom is also ensuring you’re not pushing yourself too far, so even then I have the chance to push my boundaries and try different things safely. And other times I and others just enjoy…pretending that we have no choice but to just let these things happen to us because we’re tied up or whatever. And that can be really liberating as well, especially if you’re under a lot pressure. It could be why you enjoyed watching that happen to someone else.” He said and she literally felt her skin prick as she revisited the feeling she got when she heard this person screaming but still not saying the safe word, “Like obviously they’re enjoying it, but I think when you get to that point it’s more than a sexual gratification thing, you’re just letting everything that’s been pent up out. I think that’s why also in this case the sub was thanking the dom at the end. It wan’t just gratitude for his orgasms but for…setting him free in a way.” He explained. 

Y/N took in everything that Harry said and was now completely in her head as she concluded that yes, she did envy that guy for a second there. She wanted to feel free of her stresses and worries, she wanted to be able to let out all of the pent up frustrations she knew were just festering inside of her and making her feel stuck. She couldn’t even count the times that she just wanted to sit in her car after work and just scream it out. There had been too many of those days lately, days where she felt like she was drowning. And then she started picturing how she would want to be set up in a scene and now she was getting even more wet.

  “…And then sometimes a sub might just be a bit of a masochist and enjoys being hurt and tortured in a controlled environment.” He said with a light laugh and she grinned as he finished his explanation, “Does that clear things up?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yeah, actually.” She hummed.

“And well there are safe words and all, but those should be used for like emergency situations. They’re not a thing we use when we don’t particularly like something or want to change directions. That’s part of the dom’s job, to know and gauge their sub’s condition. It’s a very…trusting and intimate relationship and it does take time to build it to that level. And like at the beginning stages it’s just tons of communication until you know each other well enough that you don’t need to tell someone to stop or go. Your dom will eventually know what makes you tick, what things you like and don’t like, what you’re open to trying, and what things are completely off limits. So if something is not pleasurable you can just say so and they’ll switch it up, but chances are that eventually they’d know you well enough that just from your reactions and body language they’ll be able to tell that something’s not doing it for you and they’d take action before you experienced any real discomfort or stress.” He said. “You wouldn’t have to worry about a single thing and the more and more you trust and get into that space with your dominant it becomes easier and easier to just surrender to them.” 

Y/N was covered in goosebumps as Harry spoke. Her eyes were dark and her tummy tickled with swarms of butterflies at the idea of getting to that point with another person. A point where there was so much trust that you could just give your body and autonomy over like that. She wanted to feel like that. She shifted a bit and her leg ran against Harry’s and she swore she somehow felt the tickle from the fabric of his clothes rush up to her clit.

“Sorry.” She apologized and he smiled at her.

“It’s alright. Are you alright?” He asked and she nodded.

“Just…thinking is all.” She said as she squeezed her thighs together a bit and while he originally had no plans to try and do anything with her (he didn’t think she’d even want to in all honesty), now he wanted to lay the charm on thick and see if he could make her come with his fingers at the very least. He wanted anything with her so badly. He took a swig of his drink as he just let himself feel the sexual tension emanating from her body in intense and lustful waves.

“Can I ask you something?” He said lowly as he leaned in a bit closer as he set his drink back down on the little table before them. She hummed in confirmation as his eyes met hers again. “Are you wet?” He asked more quietly and she was completely shocked by how forward he was, but his directness turned her on. She couldn’t even look in his eyes while she answered because she felt almost like she’d been caught in the middle of something naughty.

“Ummm…a bit.” She said bashfully and he sniggered and her eyes met his own upon hearing his laugh.

“A bit?” He asked with a playful look in his eyes and she laughed softly and shrugged, “You’ve been squirming for the 15-20 minutes.” He called her out, “I think you might be more than just a bit wet.” He hummed knowingly and she felt a heat rushing up her face and up to the tip of her ears and she was more than grateful for the dim lighting in this little cave.

“Well if you already knew that why did you ask?” She quipped back and he smirked.

“Just wanted to know if you would be honest with me or not.” He said.

“I’m just…embarrassed a bit.” She confessed.

“Why?”

“Because! Like…I’m just learning all this stuff about myself and it’s kind of embarrassing that I don’t even know what to do with it or like…even know how to go about it.”  She expressed. She was too horny, it was blurring her mind, but she was swallowing it down as much as possible because if she wasn’t careful she would start begging him to make her come and well she couldn’t just ask him that…it would be too great of an ask.

“Well…are you wet from what you saw or are you wet for me?” He asked her softly and she swallowed thickly as she literally shivered at his very probing question.

“Both.” She responded and he smiled softly at her. He wasn’t teasing her or anything, he seemed genuinely relieved to hear that response.

“Well, do you want me to…help you with that?” He asked her and in that moment there was nothing she could do to hide the relieved expression on her face. “We don’t have to do it all, at the very least I can do something to make you come. With a twist of course, to see if BDSM is something you’ll want to keep exploring.” He proposed and she truly had never been more relieved that he had asked because she would be too embarrassed to ask him.

“Please.” Was all she could say in response as her desperate eyes bore into his. Her soft and breathy plea made Harry tingle with satisfaction and he couldn’t help but feel his cock twitch in excitement at the prospect of getting to make this perfect angel before him come.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked lowly and she nodded timidly, her eyes were still wide with nerves but he minimized the space between them, “And can I touch you here?” He asked as his hand came around the back of her neck and she nodded. It made her want him more when he asked for permission but continued looking into her eyes, to ensure her that he was fully with her in this moment. He leaned in closer until their breaths were intermingling in the minimal space between their faces. She was glancing up at his eyes as his lips barely brushed against her own. She was growing impatient as his fingers squeezed just a bit, his thumb was running up and down the sensitive skin of her neck and she started leaning in a bit more and he smiled. “Wait.” He stated.

“Why?” She questioned him.

“Just be present for a moment.” He said and she inhaled and exhaled as she tried to relax and he chuckled. “I can basically see the gears turning in your brain.” He chuckled and she smiled at him, “I know it’s hard not to think ahead but just try to think about something happening right now with us.” He advised.

“Like?”

“Mmm… like how it feels to be close like this. Or how your arms are covered in goosebumps, or what my cologne smells like… just find something that will ground you to this moment.” He coached her softly and patiently. Y/N exhaled slowly to find something that she wanted to focus on and as his thumb lightly grazed up and down the side of her neck comfortingly she felt another wave of goosebumps ripple across her skin and when she exhaled at the delicious chill rolling through her body her shoulders dropped, she had no idea she’d even been tensing them like that. “There you go… Good girl.” He spoke lowly, his lips brushed against her own and she couldn’t tear her eyes from his as she practically felt her insides melt at his praise.

“Please kiss me.” She pleaded softly and his lips quirked up to the side, his dimple indenting his cheek beautifully.

“Lesson one. Delayed gratification.” He spoke softly, “I want to kiss you too. So fucking badly, but can’t you feel how much more intense things get the longer I make you wait?” He asked and she nodded, “It’s all about the build up.” He explained, “Edging isn’t just for orgasms.” He said and she bit her lip to satiate her need to feel something against her lips, “You’re so fucking pretty, you know that?” He asked and she smiled bashfully and let her eyes flutter shut as his nose skimmed along hers, “From the moment I saw you I couldn’t look away for more than a few minutes. I was staring for ages before you even looked at me. I even thought you might not ever notice me.” He confessed softly, “So imagine just how long I’ve been wanting to kiss you.” He said and she literally whined as her eyes met his again, so soft and glossy as they peered into his eyes.

“You’re so much better at this than me.” She giggled before she clenched her jaw to try and keep it together.

“I’ve had some practice. Nothing a little training can’t fix.” He said and she smiled as she felt her vaginal muscles contract at the idea of him training her for him. Shaping her into the kind of submissive he liked, helping her discover that side of herself…

“Please. I can’t handle it anymore.” She said as she leaned closer and then she felt his fingers grip to the base of her hair to hold her still and she froze.

“Is this OK?” He asked and she nodded hazily and then he tightened his grip a bit more before he tugged her back, she could’t help but moan breathily at the slight sting and her eyes fluttered shut as the little pricks of pain along her scalp seemed to radiate down her body until her thighs tensed and her toes curled until the little waves of pain disappeared. Harry was smirking so hard, he couldn’t help it. Her reaction to him pulling at her hair had his entire body buzzing because he just knew that he could give her exactly what she so desperately needed. Without even giving her another moment he closed the space between them and moved his lips against her own. Hers were still slightly parted, so he kissed at her bottom lip first, taking a moment to really make her feel the subtle drag of his tongue against it before their lips attached fully. 

It was like second nature as she started to kiss back. She had never felt so aware of what another person could do to her and she was certain that this was something that wouldn’t be so easy to come by again, so she wanted to enjoy it fully. Just in the bit of time she had shared with him, she knew Harry was a force. His energy was steeped in a subtle confidence that staved off any question of him being arrogant about himself. He was so collected and easy to be around it. For a moment she completely forgot that he’s one of the most famous people in the world. She was so mesmerized by him, she was enjoying his teasing kisses and yearning for more moments where he’d just indulge and deepen their kiss; she liked the reminder that he wanted her just as badly as she wanted him. She wanted more, she was ready.

“C-could we go somewhere else?” She spoke into the kiss and he hummed in agreement as he pulled away from her lips.

“Want to finish your drink?” He asked.

“No, I’m good.” She said and he nodded and raised his hand to get the server’s attention. “We’re done with these. Can you charge them to member tab #57?” Harry asked and the man nodded.

“Of course, sir. Is there anything else I can get for you two?” He asked.

“No, that’s all. Thank you.”

“Thanks.” Y/N smiled to him as well before the man grabbed their glasses from the table and headed off. She did need to use the restroom and she also completely forgot that she had not come alone tonight, so as they stood up she turned to him.

“I need to use the bathroom. And I should probably let my friends know where I am.” She giggled and Harry smiled.

“Right. Well the VIP rooms are like en-suites, so there’s private bathrooms in there. And well, I don’t mind if you pull out your phone to just let them know you’re alive.” He assured her and she smiled.

“Yeah, I’m sure they’ll be shocked to know I even left our seating area.” She laughed “They’re probably fretting over me already.” She joked and he smiled as he started to guide her out. 

They went back to the little desk outside of the private bar and he told the attendant that they would be going up to a room and they gave him a keycard before he guided her to the elevator. She felt weird about people knowing that she would be up in a room with Harry Styles…she certainly didn’t plan on telling her friends who she had spent her evening with, she assumed Harry would rather keep those ventures as private as possible, but still someone knew. Actually, several people knew as they had been seen together throughout the last hour or so. 

When the elevator stopped at the second floor she immediately saw an ice dispenser and a vending machine before them with snacks and water, but also different kinds of condoms, little lube bottles, wipes, and painkillers. He then pulled her down the hallway and then opened their designated room with the keycard. She could faintly hear others in this section, but it was very minimal despite them actually being loud which gave her some relief. She wasn’t all that loud, she’d always had roommates and had lived in an apartment for the last several years so she had trained herself into being quiet.

Harry opened up the door for her and let her step inside first. She glanced around the room that was brightly lit at the moment and it looked inviting even with the luxurious look of it. The bed wasn’t massive, but that’s because there were other furnishings that took up space. She looked over at the padded picnic table looking thing with some confusion.

“That’s a spanking bench.” Harry said as he shut the door.

“Oh?” She said in understanding, “I see that now.” She chuckled bashfully.

“Yeah.” He smiled, “Ummm, bathroom’s through that door there.” He said to her as he pointed across the room, “Do you like the lights on this bright?” He asked.

“Dimmed is nice, like in the lounge?”

“For sure.” He said and she set her bag down on the bed and hurried into the bathroom. She did start to feel a bit nervous as she was in there. She freshened up a bit, thanking the heavens that there were also some wipes in the bathroom. Despite having showered she was still wiping down just in case. She looked herself over as she washed her hands, satisfied with the way her had held up and when she came out she saw Harry sitting on the bed with his phone in hand. He glanced up and smiled at her kindly.

“I’m also letting my friends know where I am.” He explained as she waited for her phone to power back on.

“Dear god…” she exclaimed through an amused giggle as she saw that she had about five missed calls from Nina. “My friend’s called me five times.” She said with concern and decided to just call back instead of text her; she picked up right away.

“Bitch, where the hell are you? Did you go home without telling us?!” She asked loudly, it didn’t sound like they were in the club anymore. Harry obviously heard her shouting and sniggered quietly as he slipped out of his jacket and draped it over a chair in the corner of the room. Y/N glanced to him with a grin as she sat on the bed and started to unstrap her high heels.

“Geez, don’t yell. I didn’t leave the club. I’m uh-I’m still here-”

“Ahhhh!” Nina started screaming in excitement and Y/N pulled the phone from her ear and laughed softly and Harry just dropped back onto the bed and laughed as well. His body was shaking as he tried to hold in any sounds. His eyes were crinkled, indenting his deep with his smile lines; it was cute they creased deep, it meant he was happy. He was so gorgeous it made Y/N’s heart flutter.

“Relax, please. I would’ve come to find you, but you guys got lost in the crowd and I lost track of time.” She explained, “But I’m good, I’m safe.” She assured Nina, “Yes, he’s hot.” She said, “So fucking hot.” She confirmed lowly, glancing to Harry with a smirk only to find he was smirking right back at her, “Nope. Not fucking happening…you get nothing but a thank you for dragging me into this.” Y/N said, keeping her eyes on Harry’s. “I don’t know, so don’t wait up…sorry, it was the “no phones allowed” thing I swear. Alright, be safe. Bye.” She hummed  softly and then hung up. “Sorry about that, my friends can be…a bit nosy.” She giggled.

“It’s alright, it seems they really care and look out of you.” He said with a smile and she nodded.

“Yeah, they do.” She confirmed as she finished taking off her other shoe and let it fall to the ground. She then rolled into the spot beside him and rested her face on her arm as she crossed her ankles and leisurely swung her legs back and forth as she just smiled at Harry, “I’m really, really nervous.” She confessed quietly and his eyes softened.

“What’s making you nervous?” He asked.

“That…I’ll…like it too much.” She said with a sigh and he smiled.

“Why would that be a bad thing?” He questioned with a confused little crease in his eyebrows.

“Ummm…I don’t think I’d be brave enough to try it again.” She half-smiled, “Like everything just seemed to work out perfectly tonight. I don’t think that things would coincide so perfectly again.” She explained further and he smiled.

“Tonight has been pretty perfect.” He concurred, “I’ve had a good time with you.”

“Me too.” She said with a blush warming her cheeks. 

She still had that innocent, but curios glint in her eyes that was giving him butterflies. To Harry, Y/N felt like a breath of fresh air and boy, did he feel deprived. His gaze trailed down the line of her nose and landed on her lips before fluttering back up to her eyes. She was still looking down at his own mouth and he swallowed thickly as her gaze slowly met his.

“I can’t imagine you not being brave enough to do anything you wanted.” He said and she looked in awe for a moment before she spoke up.

“Harry? I’m going to kiss you now.” She warned, voice soft and nervous.

“Please.” He hummed and she pushed herself up to scoot over and lean over him, her hair messily draped over her and his face, but their lips met eagerly regardless. As Harry pressed himself up, supporting his wight on one of his elbows, his free hand came up to Y/N’s face and started gathering her hair, the occasional strand tickling them as her hair was drawn back. 

Y/N slotted one of her legs between his own, entangling them further. Once her hair was out of the way, Harry’s hand traveled down to her waist and started pushing her back and she got the hint and rolled onto her back and he hovered over her with a smile.

“Can I get your dress off?” He asked and she nodded. He helped her sit up and then she stood up and turned away from him, moving her hair to the side as he went for the zipper. “Thanks. Ummm…is there anything that you know you wouldn’t want to try right off the bat?” He asked and she bit her lip.

“I ummm…I don’t know. I’ve had pretty vanilla experiences” She said and he hummed.

“That’s alright.” He assured, “What about…” he paused as her dress just dropped to the ground, he was momentarily distracted by the sight of her perfectly round bum. It would look that much cuter with a couple hickeys or marks from his hands across it, he swallowed thickly  “Ummm, what about things you absolutely know you want to experience?” He asked and she turned around and his hands landed on her hips over the side straps of her thong.

“A little breath play I got…choked once and I did like it.” She admitted bashfully, “…always wondered what was so great about getting my ass spanked…” she joked and Harry chuckled, “I joke, but ummm, not really.” She confessed nervously and he suddenly landed a smack to her left cheek and he grinned as the skin on her arms pimpled with goosebumps and she let out a surprised little gasp.

“How was that for you?” He asked.

“Ummm…it was good.” She swallowed thickly.

“Want more?” He asked and she nodded, “Want to try on the bench?” He asked and she glanced over to it before biting her lip pensively. “We don’t have to.” He assured her and she looked back at him. 

“I am…curious about it.” She said and he stood as well and led her over to it.

“This is nice because it gives you something to hold on to.” He explained, “Like if you wanted to dig your fingers into something or squeeze your thighs, you could. This one also has these rings on it.” He said as he lifted one up and turned to her and she nodded, “These are for restraining. So you could get your hands cuffed or even have a collar attached to this-”

“Like an animal collar?” She asked with wide eyes and he chuckled.

“Ummm, yeah, but like it’s for people. Some people like that.”

“Do you like that?” She asked and he bit his lip and shrugged, which was enough of an answer for her and she giggled, “You’re wild.” She said with a smirk and he giggled along with her.

“I just like to try things. I like to push myself and see how far I can go or how much I can handle. I often surprise myself and like that makes me feel…stronger in a way. Like I can do anything, you know?”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” She agreed and then bit her lip as she looked over the bench once more and decided that she wanted to push herself too. She wanted to try something different and new. She could just picture herself fastened to the bench and gasping at the shock of the blows she’d receive and it made her spine tingle. That had to mean she was into it, right? She placed her hand on the red padded pleather cushion where she assumed her chest would go and glanced up to Harry, “So like…how do we do this? Like are you just gonna do it with your hands?” She asked him.

“We can if that’s how you want it. There’s also toys for impact play right in here.” He said cocking his head over to a little closet looking door and she followed him and he opened it up and she was quite surprised at the selection she saw.

“Will it hurt?” She asked him with wide eyes.

“It can if you want it to hurt. We can test the feeling and force on your palm.” He suggested and she nodded, “Do any of them look more intriguing to you?” He asked and she pointed at the riding crop.

“That’s just one I’ve heard of more.” She said and he pulled it from the hook.

“I wouldn’t necessarily say this is for your bum. It can be, but you’ll get harsher and more intense stings from it.” He explained and she held her hand out and he quickly smacked it down and her eyebrows raised in shock as the sting made her palm feel hot as the pain started to register and she closed her palm quickly and glanced up at him.

“OK, yeah maybe not that one.” She giggled nervously and he smiled.

“Yeah, that’s alright. It’s a bit more of an advanced one to be honest or for those who particularly like pain from the get go. Don’t like that kind of pain too much either.” He assured her and she nodded, “The paddles tend to be a bit better for the bum. It’ll still sting but not as intensely since it covers more surface area.” He explained as he pulled it down as she put her hand out again and he brought it down and gave her a whack before looking into her eyes to gauge her reaction, she seemed fine with that. He swore he even saw a ghost of a smile threatening to spread across her lips and the fact that this once excited her made his eyes darken in excitement for what he could do for her, “Harder?” He asked her softly and when her eyes met his, they were also darkened and her pupils dilated a bit. She nodded up at him and he smiled with tenderness at her as he raised the paddle again and then swung it down with more force and while her hand twitched bit from the impact, she sunk her teeth into her bottom lip for a few seconds before smiling. “Like this one?” He asked her.

“Yeah, I do like that.” She agreed before looking back up into his eyes.

“Good.” He hummed, “Is there anything else you see that you might want to try?” He asked and she glanced back at the array of toys in there. “There’s also stuff in the drawers.” He explained and she stepped forward and started pulling them open to see what they contained. 

They had a myriad of options from blindfolds, ties, cuffs, and collars to clamps and pumps and vibrators. She at least knew that she needed stimulation to her clit in order to have the most gratifying orgasm, so she definitely wanted a vibrator of some sort. She didn’t need the huge wands that were in some drawers, even something smaller would do it for her. So she reached in and grabbed one of the sterile packets that had a vibrator with a slightly bulbous head, it could be used externally and internally as well and it made her core tighten and tickle in anticipation.

“I’m assuming we have to pay for this stuff?” She said.

“Well, they get put on our tabs.” He explained, “The money’s already there for this so…” he trailed off and she glanced back at him.

“But I might want to keep this so I’ll pay you back.” She said and he chuckled.

“You don’t have to pay me back, you can keep it as a gift. You know, to remember our time together.” He said with a cheeky smirk and she chuckled softly before looking up at him.

“We’ll see.” She said softly.

“Do you want to try any restraints?” He asked her and she nodded.

“Ummm, what do you recommend?” She asked as she looked at the different options.

“To start either the satin ties or full wrist cuffs. Anything less bulky will leave more marks and they can be a bit more uncomfortable.” He explained.

“Maybe the ties…can’t risk showing up to work with visible marks, as hot as that would be.” sh e giggled and he grinned, with that in mind he decided he’d give her a discrete mark or two for her personal amusement.

“Right…” he chuckled as he reached for a set of the satin ties.

“Do you think there’s anything I might like?” She asked and he glanced around before opening up the drawers and he bit his lip as he reached in and grabbed one of the smaller pumps.

“If we get this on your clit…” he said a bit bashfully, “for a few minutes you’ll be a lot more sensitive there. S’gonna make you come a lot if you’re already sensitive. Wanna give it a try?” He asked and she smiled at him, her eyes told him that she was clearly enticed by the idea and she nodded after a few seconds.

“Sure.” She agreed cooly, “I thought you were gonna go for the blindfold for a sec.” She giggled.

“Do you want a blindfold?” He asked her with a grin and she shook her head.

“No.” She she said quickly, “I ummm… I’d like to see what’s going on.” She explained and he smiled.

“Well, I think this is it for now.” He said as he moved to the bed and set everything in his hands down and she followed him and did the same before looking up at him and he glanced at her, “Still nervous?” He asked and she nodded and he smiled, “Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll take good care of you.” He assured as he came a bit closer and her gaze flickered down to his lips and she tiptoed to kiss him but he slightly knocked his head back and grinned down at her. “Mmmm, how about…for every spanking you take well, you get a kiss?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yeah, OK.” She agreed and he smiled and guided her over to the bench and helped her get on. “Are you gonna tie me up?”

“Yeah, is that alright?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yes. Please.” She said and he smirked at her before walking over to the bed and taking off his shirt before grabbing the ties and standing before her again. His crotch was level with her face as he got the little packet they were in open and she could see how the bulge in his pants strained against the dark fabric. Her eyes raked down his strong and lean torso and she felt her mouth water at the size of the bulge and he glanced down with a smirk before lowering himself down to be level with her face.

“Like what you see?” He asked and Y/N smiled bashfully from being caught ogling him. 

“Yeah.” She hummed and then glanced down when she felt him tying her wrists together. Then he tied that to the ring attached to the bench. Harry had her yank a few times just so she could feel if it was comfortable or if he needed to make any adjustments. It was perfect though; her wrists were secured together snugly, but she had enough slack from her hands to the o-ring to be able to move her arms a bit. She was so nervous about it all, there were so many thoughts going through her mind as she realized that she was quite literally stuck here with him. And as scary as that thought was, it was also somewhat relieving. She had no idea what he had planned for her, she had little ideas of where the night could go, but who knew what was in his brain when he took her in like this. She didn’t know if she’d ever even see him again after this night, but she just knew she could trust him for tonight. Trust that he had her best interest in mind and that he was going to blow her fucking mind.

“Alright, love. M’gonna start off light and then go a bit harder until you tell me, OK?” He asked. “We can even go back if you feel it’s too hard, just let me know?”

“OK.” She confirmed her understanding, already squeezing her fists nervously as she wriggled a bit. 

“If you’re not liking something or getting overwhelmed just say ‘stop', OK? I’ll stop right away.” Harry informed and she nodded, “What are you gonna say if you don’t like something?”  he quizzed.

“Stop.” She responded.

“Good girl.” He hummed and she wriggled again and Harry bit his lip as he watched her ass jiggle a bit as she got a bit more comfortable. He gently smacked the paddle to his palm a few times before squaring up behind her. “Ready?” He asked an she nodded, “Use you words for me.” He pressed.

“Yes, I’m ready.” She confirmed as he drew the paddle back and smacked it down against her right cheek quickly and her back slightly arched as she exhaled sharply, “Was that good or do want it harder?” He asked.

“A little harder.” She responded and she remained tense until another smack came down on her other cheek, just slightly harder than the previous one. It hurt so good, she wanted to try a bit harder, so she relaxed her hands and her body followed, “Can you try a little harder?” She asked.

“Yeah, ready for it now?” 

“Yes, please. Please do it.” She hummed, her tummy fluttered in anticipation and as soon as the paddle made contact with her already heated skin she gasped and tensed up. Harry stopped for a second to gauge her reaction and as he focused his eyes he watched in real time how her skin became covered in goosebumps and after a few seconds of silence her body relaxed and she wriggled her ass at him and he grinned.

“Was that it?” He asked her and she nodded.

“Y-yes, fuck please do it again.” She pleaded and he smacked down on her other cheek. With every stinging spank to her ass Y/N felt herself get a little more turned on. She felt like she was sparking up and as much as she wanted to wuss out and and ask him to stop she knew she could handle more. She was getting so horny that with each smack she swore her clit pulsed and she got wetter and wetter. She could feel the glide between her pussy lips every time she squirmed. She loved to feel her body tense up in anticipation for the next hit only to relax when the stinging sensation rippled through her ruddy cheeks and slowly fade as it tingled down her thighs. That is until yet another hard smack landed on one of her cheeks and started the cycle all over. Her soft whimpers of satisfaction were completely involuntary, she was getting lost in this feeling and with each spank she was letting herself go more and more.

She seemed to be enjoying it and Harry wondered how wet she was getting between her legs from this. She was doing so well and Harry could see her teetering on the edge of surrender, she’d already taken eight spankings and he wasn’t gonna give her more than ten. But he was glad that she had made it this far without a hitch; he wanted her to feel better than she ever had before and she moaned softly at the final two she’d gotten. He wasn’t thinking too hard about it when he slipped the paddle into his back pocket and brought his hands to her ass, caressing over her cheeks to sooth the sting of the ten spankings she’d taken so well,

“Did so good. Took it really well.” He praised her as he continued soothing her bum. He had been spanking her with a medium force and she seemed to have liked it and as Harry soothed her bottom he noticed her grinding down onto the bench a bit and he smirked, “Did you get really wet?” He asked teasingly.

“Embarrassingly wet.” She confessed through a breathy giggle and he smirked. 

“Can I feel?” He asked.

“Yes.” She said immediately and he smiled at her urgency. His index finger followed the fabric of her thong down her cheeks and to the very hot spot between her legs. Her little cotton thong was definitely feeling a little damp and he bit his lip as he gently rubbed up and down her clothed crease, really getting the fabric doused in her arousal. He could feel it start to soak through the material.

“Shit…you really liked that, didn’t you?” He hummed smugly and she just whimpered as he rubbed his index finger right against her clit a few times before sliding it back to her labia and pressing in, so that he was rubbing against her entrance. Y/N squirmed a bit, trying to get more friction and he smiled, “Nuhuh. Be good for me.” He said lowly and she bit her lip as those words seemed to shoot a delicious tingly feeling through her body. She couldn’t help it as she thrust back again to get more pressure and he tutted and suddenly felt the paddle smack down across her ass and she jolted and gasped at the hard, but quick swat. The tingling and stinging on her ass seemed to radiate down to her clit and her breathing started picking up as she started to get more turned on.

“S-sorry, it just feels so good.” She whimpered and he smiled at her sweet little sound. 

“I know, but you have to be patient. I’m in charge here, remember?” He asked and she grinned.

“What happened to BDSM is about the sharing of control?” She asked smugly and he chuckled as he brought the paddle down against her ass again, making her squeak out and writhe against the bench.

“Don’t be a brat.” He chuckled and she giggled as the stinging sensation rippled through her bottom half of her body. “Were being such a good girl for me.” He said softly as he started rubbing over her clothed pussy again, very lightly. Harry watched as she shivered when he called her a “good girl”, it seemed she had a bit of a praise kink. Liked to hear that she was doing so good and being so good for him. He added a bit more pressure again just to rile her up and it worked. She sighed as he rubbed against her sopping underwear, feeling the glide of the material over her labia from the slick pooling out of her little hole. He wanted to see her bare, he wanted to admire every inch of her and make her feel gorgeous and special and worthy of whatever she wanted. Her back would arch and she’d wiggle around a bit as he continued pleasuring her in such a simple way.

Y/N was absolutely touch starved. She swore that every cell in her body was yearning for more of his touch. Especially as he leisurely rubbed at her clit, it was absolute torture because it wasn’t enough to build an orgasm, but it was enough to build her pleasure and to keep making her more and more wet for him. His deep and soothing voice tickled a part of her she had no idea could affect her so deeply. She whined as he dragged his hand up from between her legs, skimming over her bottom and slowly up her spine. She was a puddle from his delicate and teasing touch and just as she was relaxing her body he swatted her with the paddle again, making her scoff through the grin on her face. The shock of the spank made her walls clench tight and her entire body tingled in response, she was starting to ache deep inside. The feeling was familiar by now, it had been months since she’d even had a proper orgasm. The anxiety, stress, and pressure had all piled up from the different parts of her life and battered her simultaneously. Admittedly, she’d been a little depressed, but the last thing she thought she’d need was this. The same feeling she’d been sitting with for months! But it was a different situation this time. She was horny in a way that was literally making her mind fuzzy and she knew that when she got out of here she’d feel so much more light and free than she had in months.

“Ready for more?” He asked and she hummed.

“Yes. Please.” She responded. Her tummy swirling with butterflies in anticipation of what was coming next.

“Alright, love. Let’s get you untied.” He said and moved around her to undo the ties on her wrists. Once they were off, he helped her sit up, so she was straddling the top of the bench and he stepped up to it and grabbed her face gently. “Think I owe you some kisses.” He said quietly and she hummed through a smile as he pressed his lips to hers. 

Y/N counted nine playful pecks before he went in for the last kiss fiercely. She sighed in relief as she felt his tongue run along her bottom lip before their lips smushed together sloppily. She couldn’t help it as she ground down against the bench and whimpered into his parted mouth at the pressure on her clit. Harry smiled into their kiss when he realized that she was grinding down onto the bench.

“Want my fingers?” He asked her and she nodded.

“Please.” She purred

and he brought his right hand down, his index finger teased over the seam of her thong a few times before slipping under the thin, black fabric. His eyes met her hazy and lust-filled gaze as he slid further down. He smiled as he reached her neatly trimmed little patch of pubic hair over her mound. She bit her lip as his fingers smoothing down made a delicious tickle flutter down her vulva.

“Oh…” she moaned softly as his fingers brushed down her slit and pressed further in and made contact with her clit. He kissed her pouted lips as he rubbed against her swollen little clit easily with how sticky she already was.

“You weren’t lying.” He mumbled deeply, “So fucking wet.” He grinned before going in for another kiss and she giggled into it. Harry started going lower until his index and middle fingers made contact with her sopping entrance. He rubbed over it as she ground down into his fingers, itching to feel them sink inside of her and give her a much needed stretch. Based on what she could feel so far, his fingers were going to be far more gratifying than her own. She was starting to feel desperate.

“Harry.” She mumbled into their kiss, “Harry, please.” She implored.

“We’ve discussed this, love. Patience.” He responded and she sighed impatiently, which cause him to smirk.

“Right, sorry.” She whispered.

“S’alright, love. You’re learning.” He hummed as he started to add a bit more pressure, watching her carefully as he stopped right before sunk his fingers into her her tight entrance. They stayed like that for a few seconds, breathing each other in as he waited for the tension between them to reach it’s boiling point. She exhaled shakily and then leaned her face into his. Their noses brushed and right before she kissed his lips he drew back, “Not yet.” He whispered, “You can wait a little bit more, know you can.” He said and she sighed as he chuckle a bit.

“It’s just so much.” She explained, “M’so on edge. I feel like I’m about to explode.” 

“Good. That mean’s you’re just about there.” He smiled, “Relax… Breathe deep…Pay attention to all of the feelings going on here.” He instructed as he rubbed at her entrance again, keeping her right in that sweet spot for a few more seconds. And when he felt her body fully relax he waited a few seconds before he stepped a bit closer and bore more of his weight into his arm, finally allowing for his fingers to sink inside of her. She was so wet and hot inside it made him absolutely feral. He was fighting every instinct he had to just pick her up and put her on the bed and make her come on his fingers until he’d decided she’d enough.

Y/N’s mouth dropped open as she panted out a shaky breath as his fingers sunk deep inside of her. Harry parted his lips and went in for another kiss, tongue-first. She moaned as she smeared he tongue over his before she gently sucked at it as he started to thrust his fingers into her. Y/N was grinding down onto them, riding them a bit, relishing in the slight stretch they were providing. Suddenly, Harry’s hand was around her throat, squeezing deliciously. She smiled and he retuned the gesture. In moments she started getting that addicting little spacey feeling at the minimal oxygen intake she was getting. She loved to feel floaty and tingly from the lack of oxygen. Her eyes rolled back as she ground harder against Harry, desperate to feel more pleasure.

Every time she’d grind down her clit would just barely brush against his palm, it was delicious and infuriating at the same time. She kept getting wetter and wetter as the stimulation continued building. She was squeezing her thighs tight around the bench, a desperate attempted to make it feel like there was more inside of her. She swore she could feel her walls throbbing with need, her clit was getting so sensitive from being teased so lightly. She was starting to feel desperate beyond the point of no-return, she swore she would lose her mind.

“Harry…” she gasped, “I-I can’t!” she whimpered.

“Are you asking me to stop?” He asked for clarification as he released her throat and she opened her eyes slowly and glanced into his as he stopped thrusting his fingers. She slowly started to gain full lucidity as more oxygen flowed through her brain freely again. She gently raised her hips and then ground back down onto them and shook her head.

“No, please don’t stop I just…I want more.”

“Yeah?” He smiled and she nodded, “Lift up a little.” He said and she did so and pouted when he pulled his fingers out of her. But before she could protest he sunk them in between his lips to clean them off and then he went back in for a kissy, messily tangling their tongues, letting her taste herself from his own mouth. His hands came down to her thighs and he helped her shift so they were wrapped around his own hips. She took he hint and wrapped her around around his neck as he lifted her up and slowly walked them over to the bed. As he leaned down and hovered over her he felt her take the paddle out from his pocket before she blindly swatted him over the bum and he chuckled into her mouth as he pulled back from their kiss to look at her. She was smirking up at him as she dropped the paddle onto the bed.

“Sorry, it was an intrusive thought.” She giggled.

“S’alright, we all get them…and some of us let them win.” He added and she grinned, “I have one right now…”

“Well, let it win. S’only fair.” She responded and he smiled.

“Do you really trust me, Y/N?” He asked and she bit her lip for a second as her eyes searched his own and she nodded.

“I do trust you, Harry.” She confirmed and he smiled as he pressed himself up and went back to the bench and grabbed the long ties he had draped over it. When he turned back he saw her legs bent at the knee, how he’d left her. And he came on over and dropped the ties beside her. His hands then smoothed over her knees and down her thighs and then up to her hips.

“Permission to get these off?” He mumbled over her lips.

“Yeah, get them off.” She said as she raised her hips and he was quick to peel the thong down her legs. He tried to patient and not just spread her open and gawk at her pussy as he stuffed her thong in his back pocket before he brought his hands to her knees again.

“M’gonna tie you up…like this.” He said as he pushed her knees back until her ankles were up against the backs of her thighs, “S’gonna keep you spread open for me while I play with you.” He explained, “Have a feeling you’re not gonna be good about keeping your legs spread for me.” He added and she giggled and nodded, “S’that alright?”

“Yeah.” She agreed and he smiled and reached for one of the ties. 

Harry started twisting the fabric to make it into a thinner size before he wrapped it around her ankle and thigh and when he asked, she assured him it wasn’t too tight. She watched as he finished up the knot, but lost track of what he was doing as he continued twisting the tie and then tied another knot right under her knee. “So you’re into this kinda thing too?” She asked.

“A bit. Just started learning a few months ago.” He shared as he ensured his knots were secure. “This is called a frog tie.” He said as he moved on to her other leg.

“Kinda of an unsexy name.” She pointed out.

“Says the frog.” He teased with a grin and she scoffed through a chuckle as he started to tie her other ankle to her thigh. “Good?”

“Yeah.” She hummed and he proceeded to move to the second knot. Once it was fastened she was spread open and he was still holding back from ogling the part of her he was dying to see, which did not go unnoticed by her. He smiled as their eyes met again and leaned down to kiss her gently. The last thing she expected was for him to palm over her and lightly lightly smack at her dripping pussy a couple times. Before pulled back and grabbing the clit pump. He opened up the package and she watched on as he messed with it in his hand for a bit before he looked back into her eyes.

“You’re gonna feel some pressure when I twist this top part.” He explained and she nodded in understanding as she supported herself on her elbows to see his next actions. He finally glanced down at her exposed pussy and he felt his mouth water. He licked over his lips as he reached forward and brushed his thumb through her sticky folds and then over her clit. “So fucking pretty.” He hummed as he rubbed the pad of his thumb into her swollen little clit a few times. She bit her lip as she watched his thumb glide easily over her sensitive little button. He then slicked his index finger up through her folds and opened her up a bit more, “Fuck, that’s the prettiest shade of pink I’ve ever seen.” He hummed with awe. He licked over his lips again, more than ready to lick and slurp at her glistening pussy, but he had to do this first. He gawked for a few more seconds before rubbing over her clit once more before bringing down the little pump. He got her clit into the opening and glanced up at her again.

“Ready?”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

With her confirmation Harry proceeded to twist the top of the little pump. Sucking the air that had been collected into the little tube. After the third twist she whined and he grinned as he watched her clit throb as the pressure inside of the little pump increased.

“Just a little bit more, love.” He informed her. With each new slow twist her tender little button was sucked further into the pump and when he let go it stayed put and she whined as she felt her clit throbbing. 

Harry then reached down to her entrance and dipped one then two fingers into her. He pushed them in as deep as he could before curving them up and when she gasped and fisted at the bed covers under her he smiled. He watched as she attempted to shut her legs, but the way they were tied didn’t allow much movement. She moaned as he continued fucking her with his fingers until her abs were clenching and he quickly pulled them out. 

Y/N whined, her desperate and glossy eyes were right on his as he sunk his fingers again and built her up again until she was moaning out in pleasure and again, he stopped right before she could feel that delicious flutter in her pussy take over her body. Y/N’s breathing was ragged as she tried her best to keep her composure as Harry edged her once more, she whimpered as the feeling faded away and she squeezed her eyes shut.

“Oh fuck!” She gasped and arched her back as he twisted the pump once more.

“You’re little clit’s just throbbing so hard. Just a few more minutes, love.” He assured as he reached for the vibrator she had chosen and got it open. 

She watched on with eager eyes as he inspected it for a moment before switching it on, he played with the settings for a bit, the entire time she could feel her little hole pulsating as she anticipated his next move. He was taking his time though and as much as she wanted to protest his unhurried pace, she was relishing in the languorous energy that was slowly pulling her deeper and deeper. It was getting so hard to fight it off any more. Suddenly she felt the buzzing of the bulbous head of the vibrator gliding against her sopping labia. Her lips twitched up in a smile as she sighed in pleasure and he glanced up to her with that smirk that was getting more and more engrained in her mind. She bit her lip to suppress her grin as her hungry eyes met his own. She wanted him to call her a good girl again, she was dying to hear it, she needed it. She moaned as he glided the vibrator up her folds and the vibrator met with the little plastic pump and it cause the little ridges to absorb the vibrations and then project them around her pumped clit.

“Oh my god!” She moaned and writhed a bit beneath him. Harry couldn’t tear his eyes from her clit, all swollen and throbbing from being suffocated with all the pressure created by the pump. Just as she felt her thighs quaking Harry pulled the vibrator away and she huffed but kept her whine of disapproval to herself.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m gonna start up again soon. You’re being so good for me.” He assured and she relaxed. “Gonna get this off first.” He said as he brought his hands to the pump. One on the base of it and the other on the little key on the top. He started to release the pressure until he was able to pull it off of her and she sighed in relief. He licked over his lips at her now engorged clit pulsating, begging to be sucked gently between his lips.

She glanced down to see her clit all puffy and noticeably bigger. It was nothing drastic, but enough that she could see it throbbing. And somehow, being able to see it somehow made her hyperaware of how turned on she was. She could feel the throbbing basically radiating down her legs and it made her bit down on her lip as he just watched it for a few seconds. Put of nowhere he sparkled her shiny pussy and she whimpered as her lips set in a pout at the shock that shot through her clit. Harry glanced up at her with a smirk and she bit her lip.

“Again?” He asked and she nodded eagerly and he chuckled before spanking her pussy a few more times, watching her writhe after each little swat. She could feel her arousal dripping down to her ass and it was making her wonder if she’d actually ever been turned on prior to this in her life. Then, Harry started to kneel and she slightly raised herself to see what he was doing, but was momentarily distracted by him grabbing the vibrator and before she even had a chance to mentally prepare for it she felt his lips around her clit and she absolutely lost her mind. She tried to shut her legs because the sensitivity was so overwhelming, but her bondage prevented it. So instead, she screwed her eyes shut as she clenched her fists tightly around the bed covers as the pleasure she’d been craving started to build up. 

“Oh fuck that feels so good!” She muttered through a moan and then she heard the vibrator come on before it pressed to her entrance. She writhed as it pressed to her sensitive opening and he rubbed it over her arousal a couple times, slicking it up enough to get it to slip inside of her smoothly. And when it finally did he pressed in and her skin became covered in goosebumps as the bulbous head of the vibrator was nudged around until it was lodged right up against her g-spot and she gasped and her entire body stiffed for a few seconds before a moan tore through her chest when he started to suck on her clit with more fervor. 

“Oh right there! Right there, rightthereee…” she mewled as he rubbed into it.

Harry smiled at her reaction and her pretty sounds. Her puffy little clit was fun to play with and her taste was so nice and subtle. He could be down there for ages if he could be. He could feel her struggling and hear her ragged breaths and sounds as she tried to keep it together. He popped off of her clit and gave it a few flicks with the tip of his tongue, right up against the noticeably darker little head of it. 

“Come whenever you want, love.” He mumbled as he sucked love bites into her thigh and she writhed a bit at the bite of his suckling and nibbling as he marked her up. He very gently moved the vibrator inside of her, gyrating it to find the spot that had her legs trembling… and there it was. She started to gasp in time with the little thrusts of the vibrator and then her hands dug into his hair and he smiled.

“Oh my god…Fuck Harry, you’re gonna make me come!” She whimpered as her thighs started to tremble. Just seconds later her body fully relaxed before it immediately tensed up again as she started to come undone and much to his surprise she started to squirt and he groaned and sucked harder at her clit. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She slurred over and over again as her body writhed with an otherworldly pleasure that made her feel like she was vibrating. 

She’d been on edge for nearly twenty minutes, he was taking his time, building her up and she understood why now. And he wasn’t stopping; he did slow down when she made it through that orgasm, but once her breathing was somewhat back to normal he removed the vibrator and got his fingers and mouth back on her. Her second orgasm built up again as he started to lap at her clit and it was just as good. She was trembling as she whined when he didn’t let up and effortlessly coaxed her into a third one and after that they took a bit more time to build up. He wasn’t stopping, but significantly lowering the level of stimulation. He kept her on edge by rubbing into her g-spot, but would only mind her clit every now and again, helping her through the sensitivity until she was peaking again. By the fourth orgasm she was laughing through her panting because she swore even the back of her knees tickled as she came undone. When the fifth one washed her out she could hardly believe she was alive, she was struggling to breathe and her brows were furrowing as she moaned out in defeat when she remembered that she could’t close her legs. When her sixth one approached she knew she was going to squirt as she literally felt her pussy pulsating. And when it started he gave her clit heavy, intentional strokes with his tongue as his fingers fucked her harder and from there she couldn’t stop. Harry was moaning against her as it just kept coming out of her. She was crying out his name with even more curses and chants of gratitude. She was so sensitive, her eyes were brimming with tears and a part of this was so emotionally overwhelming, she wanted him to stop, but a part of her was just letting this happen to her.

“Fuck, you’re still going, baby.” He mumbled rubbed his thumb into her clit now and stood to look at her face. As soon as her eyes met his she smiled and he smiled back. It made her heart leap and then she frowned as she started to come again, “Oh fuck, good girl. Squeeze my fingers tight.” He said as her head knocked back and she moaned as her tears started to stream down her face. “One more, angel. You’ve got one more for me. I know you do, love.” He mumbled and her lidded eyes looked into his own. 

“On your cock, please. Want you to feel the last one on your cock, Harry.” She managed and he groaned at her request. His prick was aching, he needed the release. He didn’t even plan on fucking her, he just wanted to make her feel good and just get off on it when he got back home. But she wanted it on his cock and he would definitely give her that if it would make her feel good.

“Yeah? Want my big, thick cock to fuck your last orgasm out of you?” He asked, voice deep and gravely. His fingers slowed down inside of her and she nodded, her glossy eyes peered deeply into his own.

“Please, Harry. Please. I need you.” She whimpered and he bit his lip and nodded as he gently drew his fingers out of her. Before he could bring them to his lips she was reaching for his hand and he easily let her take it and she brought it to her mouth. She opened up and he smiled.

“Go on then, greedy girl.” She immediately wrapped her lips around his warmth, sticky fingers and sucked. As her smooth and hot tongue ran along them his cock pulsed and his balls tightened up, loading themselves up for his big finish. His cock growing a bit more as more of his blood rushed to his member. He was so fucking hard he could cut stone, or at least it felt that way. He was sure that as soon as his trousers were down his cock would spring right up and stay standing against his lower stomach. She moaned in delight around his fingers, the vibrations of it traveling up his arms and shooting a fuzzy feeling straight to his heart and then down to his tummy. “Yeah, I know you taste so fucking good.” He said and her eyes blinked open upon hearing that. He smirked at her and pulled his fingers out of her mouth and back down to where she was quite literally oozing her slick. He lightly pressed in and smiled as he felt a thicker stream of it enveloped his finger tips. He gently pulled it away, chuckling as he saw a thick string of it, stick connected to her entrance. It spun out and snapped until he was right near her belly button. Her skin broke out in goosebumps at the cold little flash along her abdomen as her arousal met with her skin. His fingers were slimy with her slick and he hovered over her and licked them off, keeping what he could on his tongue before grabbing her face and going in for a messy kiss. She moaned as she tasted herself right on his tongue, she could also smell her arousal on him and it was making her loose her mind. She started to lick and suck at his tongue, relishing in the feelings of elation he was giving her. 

“Please get a condom.” She said and he nodded and broke away from her kiss. 

Harry dug around his pockets for his wallet and then pulled one out and set it down beside her on the bed as he got his trousers and briefs off. She licked her lips at the size of his cock and couldn’t wait to feel him opening her up. He got the condom on quickly before slicking it up through her folds, thrusting sloppily to really get himself nice and lubed up. Her little pussy was so fucking warm, he nudged up against her clit and she giggled up at him through her wince of overstimulation and he chuckled at her reaction. He was anxious to feel her tight, hot walls giving way to his cock, so he glanced up at her and she nodded, urging him to go on. With her consent he guided his achingly hard cock to her entrance. He sighed in relief as he teased the inch of his tip into her weepy little hole. He smiled as he held her open and watched himself sink into her, it was making his cock twitch because he was so sensitive there.

“Fuck tha’feels so good.” He mumbled in delight as he started feeding in a bit more of himself in and she sighed in relief. When he made it past the tight little ring of her entrance he moaned as he felt her opening up and spasming to quickly try and accommodate his intrusion. It was making his mind blurry and his tummy twist as just how hard she was spasming around his cock. He swallowed thickly as he finished sinking in the rest of the way and they both sighed in relief as their eyes met. He gave a few thrusts and she wriggled her hips a bit, so he reached for one of the pillows and tucked it under her bum and slid back in and immediately they both moaned as his tip rammed into a part of her that made his balls tighten up and he groaned as he started thrusting quickly into it over and over against until she was seeing starts and moaning loudly. Fuck, she just felt so good around him, so warm and smooth, the pressure of his thrusts making it feel like her body was forcibly pulling him in. She started to tremble and he chuckled in satisfaction. 

“Gonna give me one more?” He asked and she nodded fiercely. “Good girl. Fuck, you were made to be worshiped like this.” He said and she panted heavily as his words settled on her so nicely. “Y’take it so well. Take my cock so well. Doing so good for me. You’re so. Fucking. Good. For me.” He praised her, punctuating his words with his thrusts, and she looked into his eyes and she blinked slowly a few times and suddenly everything stopped for a second before the energy just shifted. Her ears started to ring and she swore that there was a halo effect around him, she could only see his face and nothing else seemed to exist as her body slowly started to feel like it was on overdrive and she closed her eyes and inhaled sharply.

“Fuck, Harry…” She whimpered and he groaned, so in love with the fact that he watched her lose herself on his cock. 

“Come for me, love. I know you’re so close, jus’let it happen.” He encouraged her. 

The entirety of her skin was rising with goosebumps as she felt the coil of her pleasure expanding impossibly far. She was curling her toes to try and hang on just a bit more because she didn’t want this to end. Harry’s deep voice seemed to ripple vibrations through her body, adding to the pleasure of it all. She was especially relishing in the thwacking of his balls against her bottom and that deep, rhythmic thrusting that was jabbing his thick head against her most sensitive spot. Once all of these realizations his her together she inhaled sharply, and like a dying star, she reached what felt like the pinnacle of her existence and she exploded beautifully. Her orgasm spread through her entire body, taking her out inch by inch in a tsunami-like wave of ecstasy. It tapered down after a few moments, though it felt longer than that, and she blinked her eyes open and watched as Harry started to lose his rhythm and he grunted out as he gave her a few more debilitatingly deep thrusts that had her squirming and then gasping as he just grabbed around her thighs and rammed himself into her cunt. She had a mini orgasm from that and watching him groaned as he spilled into the condom.

“Fuck…” he mumbled lowly as he glanced down between their bodies before looking up into her glassy eyes. “Made me come so hard, love.” He smiled as he leaned over her body and her hands looped around his neck as he joined their lips in an ardent kiss. He gently rolled his hips into hers, milking out every last drop of his come. “Such a good girl for me. You really let go for me. Y’did so fucking good, love.” He praised her in between kisses and she at up his praises. Kissing him back and relishing in his affection until his cock had softened enough that it started to fall out of her. They kissed once more before he reared back and pulled out of her all the way and she winced at the suddenly empty feeling and just let herself fall back against the mattress.

“Let’s get these off.” Harry said softly as he rubbed over her thighs and she just nodded. She was just catching her breath from all of it. 

Y/N still felt like she was in a sort of trance. Everything felt delayed and slightly fuzzy, it was a lovely feeling. Her mind was drawn a blank and her body put every single resource it had towards making her feel this incredible and natural high for as long as she could. He was gentle as he undid the binds on her thighs and even helped her stretch her legs out after getting them done. She was quiet, just letting him do what he was doing until he smiled at her.

“You alright there?” He asked with a grin and she nodded before giggling.

“Just…processing. I still feel…tingly.” She said after licking her lips and he hummed.

“Good.” He hummed with a smile as he let his fingers skim up her naked torso. She shivered at the tickles and he chuckled. “How was that for you?” He asked and she smirked.

“I think I will take all of the toys home.” She joked and he chuckled again as she started to giggle. “Thank you, though.” She said as her smile slowly faded, “I’ve never felt like that before and I…needed it.” She said and he smiled and nodded once.

“Good.” He hummed, “And you know, you don’t need to do all that crazy shit they do in porn to have a good submissive experience. It can be simple, you know? Just gotta find yourself the right partner that does what you need.” He said softly and she nodded.

“Is this your style?” She asked him.

“A bit. I mean, I’m definitely more of a pleasure dom, but I do like to be a little mean or mischievous if the opportunity arises.” He said and she chuckled. “Like when I spanked your pussy, I went a little hard on you.” He said and she furrowed her eyebrows.

“Oh…it felt…tame to me.” She said and he chuckled.

“Maybe you also have a little pain kink?” He suggested and she hummed pensively, “There’s a lot to explore.” 

“Yeah, apparently. I didn’t even know I could squirt.” She giggled tiredly and he chuckled.

“Everyone can, you just gotta know where your spot is.”

“And now I do!” She said enthusiastically and he laughed lowly.

“Now you do.” He hummed as he smiled at her.

“Umm, can you help me to the bathroom?”

“Yeah love, C’mon.” He said helping her up and walking her over. 

Y/N shut the door and turned to see her reflection in the mirror. Her makeup was a little smudged and her hair a bit tousled, but there was glint in her eyes that she’d never seen before. She felt really good in her skin, something that she’d always struggled with. She sat on the toilet and as she glanced down at her legs she smiled as she saw the little bruises starting to blossom along her inner thighs. She knew that she might never seen Harry again unless it was by some trick of fate, but she was OK with that. She was gentle as she cleaned herself up and then wiped down at bit before washing her hands and joining him back in the room. He was sat on the bed, back in his briefs by now. She hurried over to her pile of clothes and Harry noticed and reached for his pants.

“S’in my pocket.” He said reaching into the back pocket and pulling out her thong.

“Oh thank you.” She smiled and hurried to slip it on. Then she went over to her bra and dress and set them on the bed. She was just about to get it on when his hands came around and grabbed her breasts in his hands. She bit her lip as he crossed them and kneaded them a bit. Her nipples were between his fingers and before she could say something he pressed down on them with his thumb and index fingers and she knocked her head back into his chest. The light bite of pain made her thighs tightened and she sighed shakily.

“Wanna come home with me?” He asked before nipping at her ear lobe, “Hmmm?” She quickly nodded her head.

“Use your words, Y/N.” He admonished in a slightly mocking tone.

“Yes, Harry. I want to go home with you.” She responded.

“Let’s get you dressed then.” He hummed.

***********

The night had been long…their sexual escapade had even gone into the day. What they lacked in sleep was made up in hospitality because Harry’d been an excellent host. Even as they said their goodbyes he was so sweet  and gracious. He’d even gotten her a car to take her back to her place. She hadn’t asked for any of his contact info, she assumed that he didn’t want to get that personal, but she was OK with it. She’d gotten that she needed from him and she would always be grateful for that. When she informed Nina that she was on her way home she had a late lunch ready for her because she had a wealth of questions to ask Y/N. They were getting through their food as Y/N talked to her about how literally this was the most unforgettable and unreal experience of her life, when the doorbell rang.

“Hold that thought.” She said and hurried to the door. When she opened it she was face to face with a young man who had a box and bouquet of flowers in his hands. “Hello.” She greeted with some confusion.

“Good afternoon. Is a Miss Y/L/N available?”

“Yeah, that’s me.” She confirmed and he smiled.

“Wonderful! These are for you.” He said and she looked at him in confused but took the items anyway.

“Oh? Thank you.”

“No problem. Have a good day.”

“You too!” She smiled as he walked away and she shut the door.

“Who is it?” Nina called from the living room.

“Just a delivery for me.” She said as she looked around the bouquet for a card and didn’t see one on the vase, in the arrangement, nor on the box. She set them down at the little table they had by the entrance and opened up the box and sputtered on a laugh when she saw the items she had used with Harry last night. And there was a little card in there. She reached for it and opened it up and smiled as she flipped open the card.

Y/N, 

I noticed you forgot your toys, so I had to get that back to you. Consider them a gift, you were so incredible that you definitely earned them. Shit, that sounds really illegal…Anyway… I just wanted to reiterate that I had a really great time with you. Thank you for being incredible company. I fear that this is a one time thing, which I’m grateful that you understand, but I want you to know that you’re one of a kind and I assure you that I’ll never forget you. I hope you feel the same way about me. Take great care of yourself, you deserve it! 

-H.

Y/N smiled a she read over the note and tucked it back in the envelope. Yeah, there was absolutely no way she would ever forget about him. She closed the box and and grabbed that and the vase and headed back over.

“Ooh what’s that?” Nina asked suggestively as Y/N set down the vase on their little dining table.

“Nothing, s’from a client. She has her own stationary company and I ordered a few things. She said she would deliver them extra special.” She fibbed.

“Awww, cute.” Nina pouted and Y/N nodded and smiled.

“I know. Gonna go put this down.” She said and hurried to her room. She made a mental note to hide those and then replace the items with the new stationary she had actually received just a few days ago, Nina would surely want to check at some point. She was just about to leave her room when Nina gasped loudly and hurried over, meeting Y/N in the hall.

“Girl, guess what?!?” She questioned and Y/N looked at Nina with a startled look.

“What?” She asked and then turned her phone over to her and Y/N’s eyes widened as she saw a picture of Harry from last night leaving LVRS Club. He had his driver come pick her up from the rear entrance. He explained that he needed to make a public exit so that people saw he went home, but he didn’t want to subject Y/N to that, and well she didn’t want to appear anywhere if she could help it.

“Harry Style was there last night! God, if I had hung back and played my cards right I could’ve had a chance to flirt with him.” She huffed. “He looks so good…" she said as she glanced down at the imagine on her phone, "Just imagine him without all that clothes on…” She hummed and Y/N giggled..

“Mmmm, you're right he looks good…so fucking good.” She agreed with a smug grin.

Hope you guys liked it! Feel free to share any feedback with me!

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[somewhereincairparavel]

🐚 Daughter of Neptune headcanons list 🌊 part one..

Note: I've never done a pjo hcs post like this with the aesthetic pictures and everything- but I've been Itching to make a daughter of Neptune one, since I consider myself as a Neptune child. So this is sort of a self insert haha, and I thought it'd fun cuz I have so many hcs abt this, I've only over seen ppl do a daughter of Poseidon one.

Also this one has reader x Jason Grace as romantic pairings, but it isn't the main focus. Like I said, this is a self insert, and I love my bb jason ;) + imagine having Percy as a big brother, goals fr

• Okay so you'd come to Camp Jupiter at the age of 8-9, so you definitely have a considerable amount of childhood before you came to camp. Which only made it harder for you to adapt to the barbaric ways the Roman camp worked.

• Also, Since Neptune was not a very respected Roman god, your arrival was considered bad luck. Octavian made you go through an intense trial (that motherfucker was like 10 years old and an augur, and was already such a bitch lol) + forced a newly elected praetor Reyna (who was also just 10 at the time) to hold a senate meeting before you were even offered a position at camp.

• Neptune is very feared by the romans though, since he represented the harsh brutality of the ocean, so you got the Roman Nico di Angelo treatment from camp. Everyone was scared of you, flinched when you walked passed them. this was to your advantage tho, since you never got bullied, mostly out of fear.

• so Neptune temples in Camp Jupiter are only taken care of by you, if you left for a quest or something then the shrines would be in such a horrible state, bc no one cares enough to offer Neptune anything or even clean up his shrine. You'd do the cleaning and offering.

• and the worst part? Your dad wouldn't even notice you even after your efforts.

• okay, your powers are quite similar to Percy's butt I feel like since Roman/Greek siblings always have powers that compliment eachother, you'd have better control over the earthly side of the domain. Like you can cause longer earthquakes, control seismic waves, and make volcanos erupt + cause bigger avalanches, Stuff like that.

• Your water control was actually a little limited, up until Percy arrived and helped you enhance your powers. And you helped enhance his control over earthquakes, since his earthquakes usually only lasted for a few seconds, his dad is more water dominant. So when you met him, you knew he was a missing puzzle piece in your life. You'd even be able to communicate telepathically to Percy underwater, a power you both never knew you needed.

• Seriously tho it would be hilarious to look at, bc to the others, you both sound like squeaky dolphins but in reality you are just telepathically speaking with one another. The others wouldn't understand, and poor Frank would be so confused as to why you both are making strangled fish noises

Leo would troll you guys so bad for this lol

• your eyes would actually be black. Not blue, not sea green, just black. Your eyes would literally glitter like black obsidian rocks. because Poseidon is the calm side of ocean, hence sea green eyes for Percy, Neptune is the dark and scary side of the ocean, so that's black eyes for you. that difference would clearly reflect in your guys's eye colours AND personality (I'll expand on this more in part 2)

• but your scariness comes with a downside, you had no friends. No friends, except Jason and Reyna. it's just your dad's naturally strict aura surrounding you that makes your overall personality a Lil grumpy and moody tbh. You did have such a resting bitch face that wasn't helping either.

• Jason, being the noble boy he was, knew you were going to be his friend the moment you made a dramatic entrance to camp for the first time, getting scouted by the waves to New Rome. He knew what it was like to have a powerful, scary dad, but he acknowledged and empathized that you had it harder than he did. He was considered a golden boy, while you were considered a scary bad luck charm. But regardless of that, Jason was your first best friend. And eventually, your boyfriend.

• Reyna on the other hand, badly wanted to befriend you because she admired your mental strength, you were 9 years old and you were openly scoffed at by the legionnaires simply because your father was a scary man. Yet you handled it all so well. But she befriended you a little later than Jason did. Since she was so busy, she barely had any time to chat with anyone. You, Jason and Reyna bonded as a trio when you guys had your first quest.

• Reyna secretly shipped you and Jason from the very beginning lol, bc a Jupiter x Neptune union? Y'all were powerful and cute af together. The mutual pining drives her crazy though, like kiss already smh.

• Also, Nicknames! Your nickname was ALWAYS "kelp head" because your hair was wavy and shaped like seaweed lol. As much as you hated to admit it, the name fit a little too well.

• okay enough with the friendship stuff, let's talk about how much that bastard Octavian makes it his mission to make your life a hellhole. It isn't even funny anymore, he hated you from the very beginning. Not only because you were considered bad luck, it's because he envied that you were a direct descendant of such a powerful God, he couldn't even handle Jason's arrival, yours was just the last straw for him. He opposes your opinions in front of the whole senate + prevents you from getting elected as Centurion + attempts to prevent you from going on quests, bc he can't handle someone else taking the glory.

• He was also the reason you were put into the unpopular twelfth legion. The underdog legion. But Jason? That sweetheart made it worth being in the twelfth legion so you weren't complaining tbh.

• honestly? Octavian and you are famous in camp for your bickering though lol it's just always a back and forth between you and him, such burning rivalry and enmity. You LOVED roasting him and you were fucking great at it too. He deserved that for making you go though hell. You'd laugh like a maniac when he trips and he smirks when has the upper hand against you in senate discussions.

• Reyna is the only reason you both didn't beat eachother up at this point tbh

• once, Reyna came running up to you all panicky because Octavian went missing from camp. In response, you beamed and told her that you'd get the balloons ready in the dining hall for a grand celebration. Jason would burst out laughing lol.

• you'd steal his teddy bears and give them to younger campers, asking them to hide it from octavian. So the younger campers absolutely adore you, unlike the older ones.

• you are also quite the rebel in camp, JUST like Octavian predicted you would be, when you first came to camp. It was actually written in his auguries that the new child of Neptune arrival would be always shafting the rules, since the sea can't be controlled. It's in a nature for a Neptune child to walk their own pace (lol have you seen Percy??) That gave another reason for him to hate you.

• Even some of the lares in CJ would call you an abnormal roman bc you never acted like one. You were wild and temperamental.

This rule breaking tendency you had did earn you lots of punishments that included scrubbing the whole camp with a toothbrush. But it was worth it for you. Camp Jupiter sucked. And you were already in trouble, so what's a little more, right?

• you'd sneak out at night to explore New Rome, because again, the Romans had this weird bedtime curfew like. they have rules for every. Fucking. Thing. It pissed you off so bad. They wouldn't even let you explore the city at night? They were seriously wasting the beauty of the city, You'd definitely rope Jason in to break the rules with you. Like don't be such a goody two shoes smh. I feel like that's what attracted him to you in the first place. He's a goody goody boy with such a boring life, youd just make it interesting for him.

• besides, sneaking out is SO much easier when you can fly. So Jason is your personal airplane. The Jason Grace airlines.

• okay so after all your hardwork in the legion, you'd finally get elected to Centurion, after you successfully finished a quest to retrieve a lost Roman artifact, which was formerly Jason's position and he would become a co praetor with Reyna. But you were still very much disrespected in camp tbh, it just became an internalised thing for everyone to hate you at this point, Octavian was also great at putting your reputation under dirt, but you didn't really care anymore.

• now here comes the catch, Jason and you were sort of in a half-pining half-relationship situation, Before that jerk goes missing. because neither of you knew how to confess, and camp was SO strict when it came to relationships for some reason?? Like even dating has to be lowkey.

• you and Jason are totally the grumpy x sunshine trope lol except you're the grumpy, snippy and batshit one and jason is calm, levelheaded and optimistic one.

Perfect balance. Gosh your dynamic would be so cute :(

• you'd just be grumpily stomping around while jason stalks behind you, laughing lightly. You're super short compared to him aswell, so yeah it makes it funnier.

• You were in charge of welcoming Hazel to camp, since Jason and Reyna had some serious meeting stuff about the new prophecy Octavian told them about.

• poor hazel would be scared to death while meeting you, not just bc it's you, it's bc she just came back from the dead, so this is all rlly new for her.

• That's where you met him. Nico di Angelo. You'd bond over your shared mistreatment in camp. So you became homies w him fairly quickly. He saw you as this cool big sister he could have happy meals with talking abt life.

• you would be a little curious when he keeps disappearing off to somewhere tho, you knew he was lying about where he came from.

Okay part 1 of this is done, this was so long lol, part 2 would drop later, that's where you and Percy meet and stuff.

Update: part two is out! https://www.tumblr.com/somewhereinhogsmeade/746489087922520064/daughter-of-neptune-headcanons-list-part-two?source=share

[inthestarsme]

Astro Notes pt. 8

These are not my pictures: 1st by robbodarko on pinterest, 2nd by an anonymous creator on pinterest.

‼️Don't repost my Observations without consent and mentioning my page‼️

If you don't agree with my observations, please don't send any hate. They're only my personal observations that i'm posting just for fun. Especialy the specific ones can only apply to certain people. So don't take anything you read too seriously. It's not a science, just pop-astrology!😎

❗️DISCLAIMER: I'm going to be talking about a lot of dark stuff, so if you may be triggered or retraumstised by ANYTHING, please DO NOT read this one ❗️

So let's buckle up, this one is a little more deep and dark than usual 🖤

Scorpio MC: I promise i'm going to stop talking about this placement, but i just find it very interesting. Looking at Zendayas birth chart who has a Scorpio MC with Pluto in her 10th house conjunct that MC (which i have too, exept the conjunction part), she seems to always keep her life very private. And if she ever shows herself in public, it's always to make a power move or to promote something she has just worked on, which will make her more powerful. Or she only does it with intention and/or absolutely wonderfully. Also, one of her bigger roles, playing Rue in Euphoria, was a very controversial one dealing with a lot of heavy topics, but she did it so well and gracefully, that it gave her a lot of fame and she even got an emmy for her performance. And i feel like Zendaya is a very good example for how to go about with this placement. Be secretive with your life, and don't give people too much space to shit on you. If you do anything in your career or anything of yours is to be shown in public, only give and show your very best. People can get jealous, but they will know to appreciate your hard work. You may use your sexiness and seductiveness, your dark and controversial side but do it with a purpose and intention, and best do it in an artistic context and in a beautiful way.

Saturn in the 6th house: I see Saturn as something or an area where you feel trapped or just persecuted by something. Because the 6th house has a lot to do with health, you may struggle with health issues and feeling like they're trapping you or just feeling no way out of them. As the opposition here is the 12th house, the only way out may be through a lot of hospital visits and maybe even using spirituality to heal your body.

But because the 6th house can also be about your everyday life, resposibilities and routines, you may experience feeling trapped in this area in some way or form. It can be due to societal expectations, because of your kids and husband or the community you grew up in, who and which may make you feel as if you're either trapped in responsibilities you didn't choose or like the things you're doing on an everyday basis aren't really the things that make you happy or would've chosen if you knew better or could've chosen otherwise. I really don't think this necessarily has to do with the work you may choose to pursue as a career, but it can certainly influence how you do it and even if you pursue it, if your everyday life may be preoccupied with other things than work.

Neptune in Scorpio and 3rd house: There may be an issue with illusions and thus betrayal coming from your siblings regarding money, because of wanting to keep certain secrets or for gaining some sort of power in general or specificaly over you. Or you may put illusions on your siblings to try to keep them from seeing certain secrets you keep or know. Of course this can still play out differantly, so please don't get scared, but if you are suspecting anything like this, take it as a hint to maybe be more careful.

Taurus MC: I've noticed this placement having to do with a career in the movie/ film industry. It can be as an actor, director, producer or whatever you may prefer doing. You may focus a lot on the aesthetic part of this artform. The placement of your venus may say a lot about in which way specificaly you may be involved in this industry. Venus in the first house, especialy with virgo, may be more into directing as the self is more in focus and you need to be able to organize people with confidence. Venus in the 5th house may be more into acting, especialy with Venus in Gemini or Cancer. Venus in the 6th house may be more into being a producer, Venus in the 3rd maybe a writer. If this is something you are interested in pursuing and you have this placement, i would recommend you to look more deeply into this.

Water moons: Y'all are about feeling, but every water sign focuses on a different kind of feeling. If well developed i would say: Cancer feels a lot, specificaly for other people and can be very nurturing and empathetic. Scorpio moon likes to go into deep and dark placed and also loves the sexual part of feeling. Pisces moon may be into connecting spiritually through your emotions, being able to perceive things that are outside of the physical or can't be physicaly perceived through your emotions (which could also be collective patterns, etc.).

Mercury conjunct Uranus: THE placement for someone with a high IQ and a lot of talent for things that need a lot of mental agility and being able to think outside the box. This can make you an amazing engineer and great at anything having to do with technology, especialy if it is placed in the 2nd, 6th or 10th house.

North Node in the 8th house: You may go from earning money on your own two feet to inheriting a lot of money or gaining a lot of money through other people, for example through divorce and need to learn to accept that sometimes that is also fine. It may be hard for you to accept this money as you may feel as if you didn't earn it and as such it isn't worth the same. And you aren't wrong, it's different to earn your own money, but you need to find a balance: sometimes inherited money was something your ancestors fought hard for so you wouldn't have to. In thus, it may be only in respect to them to treat it as earned and respectable money. And sometimes we're just lucky in life, and that's fine too. You can enjoy that luck and still be a responsable, "on your own two feet" kind of person. Or you can for example also donate some money or even open your own charity to help other people.

Libra moons: You may feel a sense of security through your interpersonal relationships. It can be your romantic relationships but also your friendships. You need these connections to feel emotionaly stable.

Mars in the 7th house: TW: Fighting and Abuse! I hate to admit this because it is something i need to work on, but i tend to fight a lot in relationships instead of just normaly addressing issues or breaking up if i just don't feel satisfied. I of course never get physical because i'm not that kind of person, but i feel like this could defenately indicate that. And honestly, i secretly like the drama of it, because it brings a kind of passion into the relationship. This has probably to do with some kind of childhood trauma of me thinking fighting is a form of love. But sadly, it also fits this placement, as Mars is Aggression. Maybe someone can relate, and if you do: we understand each other but i also need to tell you that we both need to work on this. There are other ways of creating passion in a relationship, and even though fighting can be normal and healthy, fighting every time you have an issue isn't really ideal. And if you have gotten physical in a relationship before: yes that's shitty and you should bear the concequences for it. But i will not just shame you for it, because i want you to look at the issue so you can heal and learn. That's the only way we as humans can evolve. So please: learn to take accountability so you can get better. Also: Maybe you should try to learn how you can create passion and excitement in your relationships without having to fight or anything like that.

I hope you liked it! Yes, i'm okay. I just love deep topics, and oftentimes they also tend to be of darker nature. Just a Scorpio Mercury at it's best. Lot's of love and till next time: stay safe!

[augustus-rok]

Nebula AU

Maybe I'll write a fic for this, maybe i won't, but here are the basics. Also if this inspires you to write something chuck me a tag cause I wanna see it.

Set during older/later high school rather than freshman year for Danny. However the portal accident still happened at the canon time.

Ghosts are more or less invisible with out tools or certain contamination levels. This also applies to general noise they make, they have to focus extra to be heard by humans. Typically yelling only equates to a whisper when right next to someone if you're a ghost.

As Danny doesn't become a hero immediately and gets to settle into himself first, his ghost form reflects more his track towards being an astronaut. Aesthetic more along the lines of solar flares and start dust. When ghost do actually come through the portal with intent to do harm he gets a helmet and thick gloves and has a sort of jacket layer over top. I imagine that his ghost form suffers from something like what's described in this post, and the helmet and glove and jacket are learned extra thing.

Story stuff. So it turns out when the ONLY ghost to wander through the portal other than little glowing blobs that only hover, is the antithesis of your theories you have to go back to the drawing board. So the Fenton's (kept out of the loop for a couple of months) and GIW are very much good guys and BETTER Scientists. And the militaristic mind set is swiftly put down when all of the subjects (the one) book it at the slightest hint of aggression.

Now Valarie, nicknamed Red Huntress during her internship, interns/volunteers with the GIW as a field watch/interviewer for Nebula. Which is the code name given to a Danny who never introduces himself and as such gets named by vote like a new firetruck by the community.

Hey BTW this is a portal Danny AU in my head.

The basement portal? That is a direct route to his lair, which is an astronomer's dream wrapped in a, you guessed it, nebula. The Wastes (or the area the Fenton Portal spawns in in canon) inhabitants spend a good few months flipping out at the arrival of what looks like a god or something. It's a decidedly "do not fuck with that" thought process.

Danny eventual.y introduces himself and makes friends without the protect the town from day one aspect. They all tussle a bit but the other ghosts go "hey it's a baby" and give him a proper lay of the land.

Cut to 21/2 years later after the Portal Accident, and Vlad decides to be a bastard and go after the adopted mascot.

Now the scientists have all learned that fighting= play/bonding. So they are all wildly caught off guard by the very sudden warpath through the city park.

Vlad doesn't put together Halfa Danny in this AU until well after there's been conflict. And after he managed to expose the active portal to ghosts outside of the immediate area of the portal that are perfectly willing to break into Danny's lair and some have figured out the horror aspect described here: FIC I RECOMMEND

So back to that fight. Ghosts are QUIET, especially Danny who even with the tech, radio/coms that make other ghost audible, has to be boosted to be heard by even other ghosts. (I imagine lots of sign language in this au) So this darling little sky watching ghost screams, a terrified child's noise, as this ghost that looks like a Vampire and a hoard of vultures(?) actively assault the poor thing? God the humans, the humans are scared. Everyone could hear that out side of the coms, and everyone saw it. They got good at televising the ghosts.

Sam and Tucker, decidedly only civilians are terrified for their friend. They know what play fighting looks like, they've been to the lair. Valarie who catches on fast thanks to being the intern bestie to Nebula and maybe future girlfriend to Daniel "Hot space nerd in row 4 of homeroom" Fenton, is forced as fights, proper devastating ones, continue happening to keep her friends away. Especially the first time. Most importantly that first fight.

REMEMBER Danny's portal, not the one in the basement. Well he stretches, upper body desperately crawling away from his lower half trapped by the vultures, keening all the way. Still scarily audible. Then from the gap made of flaring stardust and molten plasma that is the active void that consumes the area his stomach would have been was he human- Comes a raging adult ghost. More than one possibly.

I especially like the idea of Skulker and his missle launcher showing up, being the third ever recorded humanoid ghost, and absolutely steamrolling Plasimus who is not a Halfa as in halfway point like Danny is so loved by the Waste ghosts for being. But rather just half a ghost, a human with a funky little boon.

Now as Skulker has the time of his afterlife chasing Vlad and the Vultures, lets have say Lunch Lady slip out of Danny's portal, maybe one of the more teenagery ghosts too.

Anyways, instant fussing. Danny relaxes enough to stop being a portal to hell and the humans are very careful in approaching them all. What with the older ghost's yelling at the aggressors to leave the baby alone. Skulker is dramatic, and likes embarrassing the whelp.

After this point things beginning to resemble canon more, only the humans have a natural non-guessing gauge of hostility for the ghosts in town.

They figure out pretty fast that the physical portal and Nebula portal only let through friendlies. (Not entirely true but they don't know that.) And the threats, well lets just say Nebula is never caught off guard in his own territory again. He becomes ruthless.

Meanwhile, Danny Fenton has friends both dead and alive helping him fight a guerrilla war against madmen. He sits in class undisturbed even as he tracks the startbursts he knows are his friends protecting him and everyone else untill he's free. He huddles in the attic crawlspace filling out data sheets and pin boards as his girlfriend and best friends scour government documents.

Nebula sits in the portal, toxic light cascading like water around him, watching his parents and GIW agents work in the FentonWorks lab.

He always gives good greetings to those who offer, and when asked he whispers secrets of the universe he's learned from the source over the radio.

The scientists for get to ask for his sources, but when they do they are always both awed and terrified of the sources.

Things go well. And things as always progress.

Link to Doodle I did that actually drove me writing all this.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Distancing Character from Person of Same Name

Anonymous asked: I'm writing a fanfiction about an obscure pairing, and some time ago I met a person who has the same name as one of the characters, and now writing about this pairing makes me a little uncomfortable. It's a pretty common name, but I also see this person quite often and it's just weird for me. Do you have any advice so I can separate the character and the person in my head?

Here are some things you could try to distance this character from the person you know in real life who has the same name:

1 - Keep a Character Visual Handy - If you're writing fan-fiction about a canon character, you can search for promo pictures of the character. Or, if it's an OC or an original fiction character, you can try casting the character (see guide here: Guide: Casting Your Characters) with a real actor/model to help you visualize them. Try printing the picture out and tacking it up someplace where you can see it while you write. You could also keep it open on your phone, laptop screen, etc. This will help keep the character fresh in your mind as you write.

2 - Watch Clips or a Character Tribute - If you're writing fan-fiction and you're writing canon characters, odds are good there are clips or even fan-made character tributes of this character on YouTube. Watching some clips or a character tribute before you write is another great way to make sure the character is fresh in your head, rather than the person you know who shares their name. If you're writing an OC or original fiction and you've cast your character with a real actor or model, you could look for clips of movies or shows they're in that closely matches the vibe of your character, and watch those before you write. Or, you could put together some character aesthetics/mood boards and look at those before you write.

3 - Make a List of Differences - Try making a list of all the ways you can think of that your character and their inadvertent namesake are different. No detail is too small. When you're around the real person with that name, really try to focus on the things that make them different from your character.

4 - Change Up the Name a Bit - If you're writing a canon character, your options might be limited, but see if there's a canon nickname for this character you can lean on in your story that makes sense. For example, let's say the shared name is Madison, and the person you know in real life only ever goes by Madison. But maybe the canon character is sometimes called Madi by other characters... if you use Madi as often as it makes sense, that can help to create some distance.

If you're writing an OC or original fiction, you have more room to give your character a nickname of your choosing, and most names have a variety of possible nicknames. You could also try altering the spelling or changing the name to something that sounds very similar.

5 - Talk About It - If you're comfortable talking to this person about that fact that you're a writer, see if you can find an opportunity to share that you happen to be writing about a character with the same name. If it's a fan-fiction character, you can say something like, "Have you ever heard of the TV show ----? There's a character in it named -----, and I've been writing about her and another character, so I always think about that character when I see you." Or, something like that. Sometimes, just getting it out of your head (if possible) can sort of interrupt the connection in your head.

I hope that helps!

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