#I feel pretty vulnerable posting this but it's kind of that vs being even more paranoid because of people not knowing what's going on

[thethingything]

for the last couple of days our brain has kind of felt the way it does when we've not had any caffeine and our ADHD gets really bad and we start getting distracted all the time and having racing thoughts and being generally unhinged, except we've been drinking energy drinks so I know it isn't that.

our psychosis definitely started flaring up as well because we've had the usual stress induced hallucinations we get (usually just spiders and little orbs of light. it's whatever) but also really intense paranoia over how people perceive us, but it's combined with the racing thoughts and we keep just rambling and jumping from one thing to another while freaking out about doing exactly that.

so yeah anyway if I talk to anyone and it looks like I'm typing stuff really frantically or it doesn't make sense properly, that's probably why. I just felt like this was worth clarifying in case anyone noticed and wondered what the hell was going on

[midnight-omega]

Male Omega hc

I wrote these a while ago and never posted them. Male omegas and female alphas are my favorite dynamics and my favorite pairing fr so I wanted to do an entirely separate post on my boys

Pretty long so bear with me under the cut also its fairly nsfw at some points reader beware

🍥 Omegas in general are considered a rarer dynamic but when adding primary gender to the statistic male omegas are one of the rarest of the 6 gender/dynamic combinations

🍥 Male omegas typically cannot impregnate. It can happen in extremely rare cases but it’s so unlikely no one really considers it a thing. They are biologically built to conceive and bear pups even tho this is a little more challenging for them

🍥 Male omegas have wider hips than an alpha or beta male, but narrower hips than a female beta or omega. This can make it difficult to give birth naturally. It’s possible and happens all the time! But sometimes it’s just too narrow and a c-section is needed

🍥 Male omegas have lower fertility rates than their female counterparts. They’re more on par with betas fertility wise which means they aren’t likely to have litters (3-4 pups) like females can. Males usually carry 1-2 pups at a time and anything more is considered a high risk pregnancy

🍥 Over the course of their pregnancy they do develop breasts

🍥 They’re much smaller than the other dynamics, more on par with a female alphas, but they do lactate

🍥 This is a permanent change! They do not reduce after the first pregnancy

🍥 This physically marks males who have carried a pregnancy at least until 3rd term, and those who haven’t

🍥 Unfortunately male omegas suffer from body dysphoria at a higher rate than other gender/dynamic combinations

🍥 There’s a lot that goes into this and it differs from omega to omega, but it boils down to masculine body parts that function and a more masculine stature vs how feminized the omega identity has become and the feminization of bearing children. 

🍥 Pregnancy and the development of breasts makes this a lot worse

🍥 Binders are rather popular and easy to find because of this. It’s highly recommended to use these instead of resorting to your own tactics to avoid any bodily harm

🍥 Top surgery is also available for male omegas who feel strong or crippling dysphoria, but they won’t be able to lactate afterwards. More traditional packs/religions frown on the surgery for this reason and prefer binders as a solution

🍥 Pharmacies, department stores, lingerie stores, anywhere you can buy a bra or healthcare products will probably sell some sort of postpartum binder!

🍥 Speaking of lingerie stores, stores that specialize in omega lingerie typically carry two styles of bottom for every top. One that accommodates afab anatomy and one that accommodates amab anatomy

🍥 Some omegas feel the opposite kind of dysphoria tho, where we just talked about those who are unsettled by their more “feminine” parts there are other’s who identify with their omegean side more and find their more masculine parts more upsetting

🍥 Tucking is a common solution, though this is kept kinda on the down low in omega only circles. You won’t find this sort of thing advertised in common media

🍥 I mentioned earlier that male omegas are p much sterile, so this makes them really popular hookups especially for other omegas going through a heat

🍥 In some areas male omegas are more demanded than alphas when an unmated omega wants a partner for heat

🍥 Not only is there really no pregnancy risk with them, but some argue they make better lovers in general since they understand the vulnerability of penetration/heat and how to work the anatomy since they’re built similarly 

🍥 The concept that male omegas do not get as much pleasure out of penetrating compared to receiving is a myth! Both kinds of orgasms are equally pleasurable and some males only enjoy penetrating just as others only enjoy being penetrated. Its a personal preference!

🍥 The omega micro penis is also a myth. Omegas are smaller on average but they’re really not much smaller than an average beta

🍥 Keep in mind that when concerning length most alphas are showers and most omegas are growers. Your omega man might end up bamboozling you :))

🍥 Omega cum is clear or opaque. No/little sperm = no white

🍥 Male omegas are at the very bottom of the unspoken hierarchy. Normally the male takes place above the female, but it’s not the case with omegas who’s primary biological function is to conceive. Since female omegas are better at that they’re considered above males

🍥 Male omegas are very rarely represented in leadership positions because of this. Even within packs it’s extremely rare to find a male omega in a place of power/respect

🍥 This also contributes to a lot of the adversity they face. Males are at a higher risk of mental illnesses, suicide, sexual abuse, drug use, and face higher incarceration rates

🍥 Lightening the mood a bit…

🍥 Males have a deeper purr than females. It tends to be quieter too, but that can vary from person to person

🍥 Male omegas growl at anything. Any small inconvenience or discomfort grrr… they can whine and keen like all omegas but on average they tend to be more gruff with vocalizations.

🍥 Male omega fashion varies widely from place to place. They can be more masculine coded or more feminine depending on the dominant culture of the area. Neck covering is popular with all omegas, so high necked outfits or matching chokers are always in style.

🍥 Weddings and mating ceremonies are similar in variation with options for more feminine coded or more masculine coded outfits. Jumpsuits with pants partially concealed by the top flaring down is the style for male omegas.

🍥 feminine coded examples:

🍥 A more masculine coded example thank you kpop ur visuals are unparalleled bc i could not find more masculine ones for the life of me until i remembered ab6ix the future world tour in seoul donghyun booby titty outfit:

🍥 Male omegas can be referred to as wife/mom or husband/dad depending on the preference of the individual. If someone needs to clarify which of their dads gave birth to them they’ll use the terms dam and sire, otherwise parental names are a toss up

🍥 All omegas have nesting instincts, if they don’t suppress them, but males and females have slightly different habits. Male omegas tend to pick very closed-in areas with one entry/exit. They also keep their nests extremely hidden, it’s unlikely you’ll know where it is unless you’re mated to or a child of theirs.

🍥 Males need just as much affection, attention, and physical touch as females do. If they’re aloof don’t let them fool you

🍥 If alpha male dude bros can be compared to overexcited dogs then omega males can be comparable to cats

[scretladyspider]

I want to talk about the definition of demisexuality and why I think in an allocentric world it leads to misunderstandings like this.

Quoted by Cluffalo tweet is about demisexuality. Tweet reads: “Can we stop making everything into an “orientation"?This is normal, healthy, female sexualityWanting to immediately sleep with someone because they're hot is not the default for women.”

Okay, so… demisexuality is “not experiencing sexual attraction unless a close bond is formed”. It was invented over a few years of discussions on AVEN forums about a sort of in-between ace experience, between asexual and allosexual. Graysexual came about around the same time.

The most common criticisms of demisexuality include that it was invented for a role play, that it’s “just normal”, that it’s “just how women are”, or that its especially puritan, assigning superiority to not liking or not having casual sex. And while all of these are worth a deep dive… I want to talk about how we define demisexuality, and why I think it’s both helpful but also leaves some pretty big holes in understanding that leads to posts like that original tweet.

When you’re explaining anything under the asexual spectrum, you generally have to assume that they’ve never heard of asexuality. It doesn’t matter if they are or aren’t ace and don’t know it when we’re told our whole lives that asexuality isn’t a possibility. As much as I don’t want to center the allosexual experience when discussing demisexuality (or anything ace), and I really, really don’t, it ends up being the inevitable reference point when talking about anything ace.

Actually, really understanding the definition of demisexuality requires understanding and accepting asexuality, the asexual spectrum, action not necessarily equating with attraction, arousal VS attraction, libido, and unpacking what we’re taught sexuality is or could be. Demisexuality requires all kinds of knowledge about asexuality to even begin to understand that there IS a difference between waiting to have sex with your partner and not experiencing any sexual attraction at all, to anyone, ever, until and unless a close bond forms, IF then.

The way the “no sexual attraction until a close bond is formed” definition of demisexuality is set up currently sounds like it’s describing building trust with someone before engaging in sex from an allosexual perspective.

In my experience, people can more easily accept that some people don’t experience sexual attraction than they can that some people might experience it, maybe, under select circumstances. That takes more unpacking allonormativity and amatanormativity.

But if you know about and understand asexuality, it’s not difficult to go from the “little to no sexual attraction” that we usually think of as “no sexual attraction” when we talk about asexuality to understanding where and how the “little to” specifically comes into that.

However! If you know what asexuality is, then the definition of demisexuality as we currently write it, as in the OP’s post, is perfectly adequate and can even be liberating, especially if you’ve been trying to figure out why you usually but don’t *always fit into “no sexual attraction”.

I’m tired of explaining over and over the same thing, trying to find new ways to do that. If I can be vulnerable a second, a lot of the time it feels pointless, like, “why am I even doing this?”

And I’m sure I’m not the only person talking about asexuality that feels that way.

Also a lot of the “demisexuality is just being a woman” narrative typically overlaps with transphobia, and folks who say this tend to attribute who they’re referring to as “just being a woman” to whiteness, which again circles everything back to purity culture.

I haven’t yet found a way to explain demisexuality without basically writing a book. Tbh I don’t know that there is a way to briefly and adequately explain demisexuality, as it rests on understanding asexuality, which I know from experience I can’t just assume is the audience. And I don’t really have any solutions or answers to this. I don’t have a new and quick demisexuality definition ready to go. As is, if you understand asexuality, it’s fine, but if you don’t, it’s like… yeah, I understand why people get confused. I used to too. Demisexuality is a real thing. But I am frustrated and tired by how it takes a PowerPoint or dissertation to explain— not just for myself, but any demisexual, because there’s so much around it you have to explain first.

So… those are just some thoughts. I don’t have a solution? I’ve been just thinking about all this for… a long time actually. I wish more people knew about and understood asexuality. it would help. Not just with this, but, this would be something it helped with.

But, yeah! Those were thoughts. I don’t know how to end this thread. Uhm. Okay bye thanks for reading have a nice day

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[crystallizedday]

Mkay, so I just woke up & I feel like spitting some facts today while I’m still in my BATDR hyperfix, especially since I’m pretty sure not a lot of people have this idea as well & I wanna get it out there somehow.

So…

The Ink Demon is like… written SO fucking well in this game, or at least as I interpret it.

& I figured this shit out like GRADUALLY.

The first tid bit that hit me like a fucking truck was how CANONICALLY the Ink Demon is in DESPERATE need of any kind of love and affection. While it’s hinted at a little bit in the games, the smoking gun comes from the VOICE ACTOR FOR INKY HIMSELF Sean Crisden.

Yes, I looked through his entire Twitter to find this again just to prove I’m not insane.

Like… even if Sean isn’t caught up entirely on the lore, there’s no reason he would say this only knowing the Ink Demon through his lines. After all, my guy has to be told about the character to voice him, so for him to address this pretty much makes it as close to being confirmed officially as we can.

The second thing that hit me like a truck was the YouTuber Pastra’s review video on the game, where he details how the Ink Demon’s mocking in the last chapter is towards HIMSELF, not Audrey, & he’s just projecting all HIS shit onto her.

Not even I caught this, since I always thought Inky was right about the “your life is a lie” thing due to her not being fully human.

But then Pastra emphasized the “mistake” bit. Audrey wasn’t a mistake, far from it. The Ink Demon, BENDY, was. HE was a mistake, born solely to be a living mascot to entertain, & when he came out WRONG, he was locked away, neglected, abandoned by the man who created him.

So he looks at Audrey, someone who was made by the same man who made him, someone who was treated so much better because of how she came out “perfect”, & tries to bring her down on the same level as he is by berating her.

& while this is stretching a bit, him comforting her at the end feels a bit like he’s trying to comfort himself, tricking himself to believe there is SOMEONE like him, someone who was ABANDONED & lied to, & thus giving Audrey the opportunity to live so he can indulge in that comfort.

It’s a BIG stretch, but god DAMN is it a gut puncher!

Like I’m sure he also did it to manipulate her & shit, but like… he can have MORE than one reason to do shit, & if he really did try to comfort himself like that, if that really is true… then I’m gonna fucking sob, man.

BUT THAT IS NOT FUCKING ALL!!

Cause I got ONE MORE mind blower I had, mainly (but not entirely) on my own after that one!!

& it has to do with Baby Bendy.

A LOT of people think Inky got his mind split in two when he was imprisoned as Baby Bendy due to how different he acts around Audrey.

But I beg to differ.

I think the Ink Demon is ABSOLUTELY still conscious & in control as Baby Bendy. He just couldn’t do shit to anyone before Audrey came about & accidentally freed him (cause I am ALSO subscribed to that theory Pastra addressed in his video), so he just minded his own business.

Perhaps his new emotional responses spoken of in the Keepers’ tapes come from him being more powerless & vulnerable where the only thing he COULD do was cry.

& the reason he acts so friendly towards Audrey once she meets up with him near the city? Because she was kind to him, she actually gave a shit about him. She apologized to him about hurting him & wanted to take care of him.

NEVER in Inky’s life has he EVER had someone genuinely care about him & his well being, something he always wanted from ANYONE but never got. So when he finally has that opportunity with Audrey, he jumps to it, going along with it, even if he desperately didn’t want to visit the Gent labs again.

More evidence of this is detailed in a post by @jupiter-jellies titled “Ink Demon VS Vesty” which I really like (I apologize for the tag, I don’t know if there’s an easier option to showcase the post itself, but I still wanna credit you nonetheless) as it makes sense of the sequences of events that happen from when Baby Bendy first joins your party to when he disappears & the Ink Demon comes to stop you from entering the Keepers’ area. Seriously, that shit blew my mind when I read it cause it explains WHY Baby Bendy went missing & why the Ink Demon would try to stop Audrey from going THERE in particular.

It just makes sense that the Ink Demon was still HIMSELF in both forms, he just acts differently to compensate for his lack of powers & to be given the love & affection he always wanted.

… But then it gets sad.

Cause the more I thought about it, the more fucked up it became. The ONLY time the Ink Demon EVER got someone to reach out to him & make him feel cared for… is when he’s in a “perfect” form. Only when he was cute & innocent & TRAPPED against his WILL could he be EVER loved, that if only he came out RIGHT in the first place, then he would DESERVE all the love that Audrey offers him.

If Joey & the others neglecting & abusing him when he came out wrong when he was JUST created didn’t solidify this idea in his head, Audrey treating him like a friend in his “perfect” form & an enemy in his true form DEFINITELY sealed the deal to him.

& it only gets worse.

I was re-listening to Joey talking to Audrey at the tail-end of the game to try & snap her out of the dark mindset Inky put her in when I realized something.

The Ink Demon was RIGHT THERE, listening to his abuser talk directly to AUDREY the ENTIRE TIME, telling her how she was loved & how she’s not this monster, that she was his pride & joy, his ONLY success…

& that PISSES Inky off.

In INKY’s point of view, only after Joey had a creation that WASN’T an abomination did he suddenly have a change of heart, that all it took was to get something he always wanted to be a better person as he completely ignores his biggest mistake that was RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM.

That… has GOT to sting, really bad, to feel abandoned AGAIN in favor of the “better sibling” that Audrey was.

I have a feeling that he didn’t crush Joey SOLELY so he couldn’t get through to Audrey. I think he also did it because he couldn’t take LISTENING to him talk like this anymore, to be reminded that he was a failure that didn’t deserve the love that Audrey got, & lashed out to shut Joey up.

This is ALL very headcanon-y, but… it really does paint the Ink Demon in a more complex & tragic light.

The Ink Demon was NEVER just a mindless monster that killed whatever it wanted on sight. He was capable of emotion, & he could’ve potentially been capable of being something so much more if only he got the proper care & reassurance he DESPERATELY needed.

& GOD I love his character for it, he’s my favorite character in the game BY FAR because of this, GOD I hope this is canon so I can give massive props to the writers for this game!!

[avillanappears]

godzilla x kong: the new empire

"For most of human civilization, we believed that life could only exist on the surface of our planet. What else were we wrong about?"

okay, I kind of fell off doing this, but we’re back! the best ever tumblr review series that’s written by avillanappears.tumblr.com! I came in not expecting much, but it turns out I really, really liked it, actually! I’m more pleasantly surprised than anyone, godzilla vs kong rubbed me very much the wrong way. godzilla and kong beating the ever-loving tar out of each other was fun, sure, but I have WORDS for the human stuff. I could fill a whole post with those, probably, but we’re not talking about that! we’re thinking good thoughts, about the one I liked!

it’s definitely a fun adventure film. hollow earth was a much more fleshed out setting this time, I loved the varieties of locales and creatures. giant, flying flamingo fish that shoot electricity? kong crossing a rickety bridge made out of the spine of a monster so massive, that it’s kaiju sized compared to him? this is exactly the sort of thing I wanted to see! it was fascinating seeing kaiju sort of “on their level”, in a whole giant sized ecosystem made for them. we got some of that in the atomic time of monsters by @tyrantisterror, and I think it’s such fertile ground to explore. godzilla’s flirted with the idea before in both its netflix animes, but this is them really committing to it. it makes my worldbuilding and specbio freak heart happy. we even got to see more hellhawks! I love those guys.

lookit that face

okay this is going pretty long, but anyhoo, I liked the character stuff too. kong was as lovable as always, you really feel for the big lug. even though he’s a living god the size of a mountain, there’s a real vulnerability to him. he’s just a sad, lonely guy who wants purpose and belonging.

he and suko had some kind of fast, but still very nice bonding. the human side was fun too, they fixed a lot about what I didn’t like from the last movie. jia had more of an arc going instead of just being “the one kong talks to”, bernie was a lot more enjoyable since they cut out the weird conspiracy theorist stuff, trapper was a fun guy. it was nice just seeing someone who loves monsters and weird nature stuff.

skar king surprised me with how personal of a threat he is, they really let him feel like a horrid, nasty piece of work. he’s more than just a big evil overlord, he’s a bullying control freak who wants everything his way, and it makes his wretchedness more tangible in a way.

shimo didn’t get all that much, but I love shimo. I love her, and I can barely even tell why, there’s just some kind of Vibe to her I resonate with. I think it’s how mythical she feels. the oldest of a line of gods, a great being of ice, controlled by a wicked devil….in fact it all felt very mythic. I appreciate that, I love it when kaiju works play out like weird mythological epics.

probably the most tangible complaint I can think of right now is that the godzilla stuff was pretty underwritten. it honestly felt like he was just….doing video game sidequests or something. like, it didn’t have Impact up until the very end when he finally meets kong and SPOILERS SPOILERS. and it feels a shame to kill scylla and tiamat off this early, I liked those two as unpredictable wildcards. with rodan and the others still mia, and two titans unceremoniously dead, it’s starting to feel like the monsterverse is sorta….flattening itself? now that kongs arc is done, I think we need to get back to a godzilla solo or two, flesh things back out a bit. but that’s for future peter to talk about, today we’re leaving things off on a high note. fun characters, dynamic locales, some great monster brawling, this one was a good’un!

godzilla cast monkeys into hell for their sins

[ftmtftm]

I do think it's worth pointing out that the crowd of people who talk about transandrophobia has a noticeable (definitely a minority, but unfortunately not so small that it can go completely ignored) subset of people who regularly engage in transmisogynistc rhetoric and cultivate an "us vs them" mentality between transfems and transmascs.

I say this as someone who believes in trans men's right (and necessity) to be able to speak on their own experiences with discrimination without feeling dismissed or ignored: I think it's important we point out when this behavior happens within the community and shut it down immediately. I don't trust anyone who talks about transandrophobia while diminishing the impact of transmisogyny in the same sentence, and I don't blame trans women who don't either.

"I don't trust anyone who talks about transandrophobia while diminishing the impact of transmisogyny in the same sentence, and I don't blame trans women who don't either."

So you are perpetuating, or at the very least enabling, in the exact same "us vs them" rhetoric by proxy then. You are legitimizing those people and their transmisogyny by treating the minority of shitheads as a reflection of the broader theory and the discussion on it - and those trans women are as well - instead of attempting to deplatform those people while also uplifting the people who aren't inflammatory and transmisogynist, and that, frankly, sucks.

I very firmly believe in not directly engaging with people like that if we are being completely honest. I'm personally very picky and choosey about who I engage with and how I engage with them because of that. I've been on the laterally transphobic end of these kinds of discussions, I'm very open about my transmedicalist history and how I've come out of it, and I speak from experience when I say engagement often makes people buckle down even more and get worse if we are being completely honest. Especially here on Tumblr. I think that was pretty evident with the transmed anon I got awhile back.

Those people who are transmisogynist are often lashing out and being laterally violent because something in their life offline is causing extreme distress. Be that dysphoria, home life, financial issues, trauma, etc. etc. there is usually something happening to make their life worse than they are open about and this conversation can be a form of digital self harm for them in many ways. Conversations on oppression usually poke open and bleeding wounds for people who aren't in stable places to begin with.

That's not an excuse for their actions, but hurt people hurt people and hurting caged animal will bite the closest, most convenient hand. That's something that can be addressed without platforming those people and encouraging others to not directly engage as well, because often? You're genuinely only making things worse for everyone by doing so.

Again, like I said earlier, in most cases, it is best to just block and move on - especially if you're not invested in having a blog of resources or discussion and you're just like... an average Tumblr user. It's not worth it to get sucked into those kinds of folks because genuinely - most of the time they need to get out on their own and that often comes with building offline community, not online theoretical discourse. Like, I have a decent number of people blocked specifically from my main but not from this blog because while I don't necessarily want to see their posts or engage with them myself, I think it's important my posts here are still seen by those people.

Like I said earlier as well, I don't necessarily blame the average person for not wanting to engage with communities they've had poor experiences with because of bad actors or people projecting pain, but I also hope the average person has enough internet literacy to understand what a bad actor or person bleeding out looks like in the first place so they simply block and move on.

Tumblr is full of vulnerable, hurting queer people who've been taking it out on each other for over a decade. It sucks but that's how this site is and will probably continue to be. It's best to acknowledge that and learn to recognize its manifestations so you can choose how you personally want to engage (or, hopefully, not engage) for your own sake.

[gffa]

Hi! Loved your posts a lot. I love Nightwing and redhood .But the thing that annoyed a hell out of me is the way fandom jason is potrayed . Jason stans always want jason to be Nightwing 2.0.Their question is always like why jason isn't respected among heroes like dick? Why jason doesn't lead the titans like dick? .Was jason as good looking as dick?. Jason should be well suited to be spy than dick . Jaybabs is better than dickbabs.Dick is worst friend to roy. Jason should be Tim role model not dick.sometimes it confuses me if they both have same personality with different names. What's your thoughts on this.

I want to step carefully with this answer because I don't want to make it seem like Jason fans are a monolith (they're most definitely not, half of my Cool People in this fandom are the most excellent DC fans you'll ever meet and Jason is Their Guy!!!) or that I'm talking about anything other than a very specific subset of fans. And that any time I say "Jason fans", it is specifically about the subsection who falls into this, not the whole of his fandom!! And, as a caveat, I'm only talking about my experiences in Jason fandom--of which I do consider myself a part of!--but that someone else who is deeper into Jason fandom than I am may have COMPLETELY different experiences than what either you or I have experienced! And, to be clear, I will point the finger in any direction, that every Bat has a subset of fans that is deeply frustrating, Tim fans have it, Damian fans have it, Dick fans have it, Bruce fans have it, etc. Every one of them has that group of fans that I go ??? over. But also I think I should be clear in that I think we should try to approach other corners of fandom with empathy, because a) we're all annoying nerds to someone else as well, that's just what fandom is and b) this fandom is hostile enough over comic book characters of all things, I'm going to try to limit the amount of gasoline I throw on the fire. ;) I think what causes a lot of fanon Jason in a certain subset of fandom comes from a mix of - Not a lot of regular appearances/his own book/GOOD appearances in his own book/a consistent characterization in those books - A lot of people read more fic than they do the comics - People naturally want their babygirl to have nice things, that's a pretty human response - Jason was kind of created to be a Dick Grayson clone in the first place, in some ways, so it's a natural extension

Jason fans have it rough in canon because he is all over the place, he's not written consistently, so half of the time he's written as the woobie, half of the time he's written as two steps away from being full villain, and it feels like every author has a different take on how Jason sees himself or what he wants. It's hard to agree on what Jason's character is like/what the point of him in the larger comics landscape is, because even the canon can't agree on that. So, then you throw in all these epically long fics that are written by extremely talented authors, who have a consistent take within their own writing, which explores Jason's issues in a way that feels like it has a lot more depth and vulnerability to him, and it's easy to go, yeah, okay, comics are kind of thin, but now I have this strongly developed sense of him in my mind! And when comics don't match that, when Jason is meaner or more of a villain or less cool in the comics, because the comics didn't do all that character work, the fic did, it becomes easy to go, "This isn't what Jason deserves, he deserves to have his issues explored better!" And, like. Jason does deserve better than what Nu52 gave him. It's a thing that a lot of fic vs comics have--like, there's a subset of Tim's fandom that writes him as the most delicate character ever (there's a lot of fic that explores Tim's vulnerabilities, I am not talking about those!!!) and, guess what, has to make Dick a terrible person in those fics as well, like the whole "Dick tried to send Tim to Arkham" is a straight up lie about what happened, but how many of us have still come across it? Which I think comes from that Dick Grayson is a character that you just kind of can't remove from the foundational Batman narrative and mythos, like you can't remove Bruce and still get what you need for the set-up--but Bruce occupies the space of "Dad" for the characters, so he has a very different, defined place in the Robin Of Choice's life. Dick, on the other hand, you can't just lift him out--he created Robin, he was the one that dragged Bruce out of the dark in the first place and created the role of Adopted Kid Who Bruce Is Complicated About, and still occupies that space very strongly. Even when he hasn't been Robin in a long time, his shadow casts extremely long, because honestly I'll die on the hill that I think he's everyone's favorite Robin to this day. Bruce? Yeah. Jason? Yeah. Tim? Yeah. Damian? Even if he never met Robin!Dick, I'd bet he's still say Dick was his favorite Robin. Superman? Explicitly said it in a comic.

(And I feel like there's an element that can be explored on how Dick also set the expectation of how to grow out of being Robin--he moved on to being Nightwing, so we expect that of the other Robins. I've been complaining forever that Tim needs to be allowed to finally do this, to step out of being Robin and not just be Red Robin, but to find his own unique thing. And, honestly, that probably does look more like Nightwing than not. I think there's an expectation that eventually Damian will realize that he doesn't want to be Batman and will instead be something else--or at least that it's a strong possibility. Which again looks a lot more like Nightwing than it maybe should. Because what else do you do with characters when you want to establish them out on their own? So Jason should follow that same path, right? He's kind of halfway onto it, with being Red Hood now, it's just that Red Hood has such a complicated history with how many people he's murdered, so what other options should there be? And patterning him after Nightwing, just as his Robin was patterned off of Dick's Robin in a lot of ways, could be a natural step forward for him there, too.) So, the specter of Dick Grayson hangs over the role and the Bat-son's place in Bruce's life--two things that are big issues in Jason's life. Then you add in that Jason was basically created to replace Dick Grayson exactly, like you can't even tell the difference in half of the panels of Jason's time as Robin if you don't already know. Then you add in that, to try to flesh out Roy's character, they gave him Roy and Kory as friends, two people who were Dick's friends first. And that makes sense--who else would you have as Jason's friends, given his general age? The Justice League is too old for him, Young Justice is too young for him, the only major team in his age bracket are the Titans--characters he does have some connection with, via Roy and Kory. And it's a natural question of, well, why didn't Jason lead them, too? Because Dick lead a team, Tim lead a team, it felt like a thing Robin was supposed to do, to the point that, when Dick introduced Damian to the Teen Titans, he automatically assumed he would lead (well, that's also just Damian XD) because that's what Robins do, why shouldn't Jason, too? So, I see where all of it comes from and understand the appeal--it's a lot more fun than the canon for Jason can be at times and feels like it understands his character better and fanon Jason is a lot more likeable and there's often times a lot that's explore that is really, really good character stuff. I think a lot of Dick's characteristics get ported over to Jason because there's just not as much else established for him in the canon, whether friends or a solidified narrative presence or even a consistent characterization, and Dick's a fun character, he has a rich history of friends and complicated dynamics with characters, like his relationship with Bruce is ridiculously fun to dig into, his relationship with Jason can actually be really interesting, his relationship with Tim is both adorable and has some nice crunch, his relationship with Damian is heart-wrenching--who wouldn't want a character with a wealth of dynamics and characterization to step into? Especially when you go back to canon and Jason's borderline a villain who isn't justified in killing people but still does it anyway, whose trauma is not getting explored in a way that's as satisfying as fanon's version of him is, because canon Jason is a lot more of a hot mess and stepped over the line, while fanon Jason tends to be more righteous and still on the right side of the line. (Or at least intended to, there's a lot of "Jason should be allowed to kill people and not be a bad guy for it." out there.) I think this is why I get a lot of Jason fans reblogging my comics posts about canon who yell at me for liking garbage comics when, guys, I'm just reacting to what's actually on the page for Jason.

Jason is a character who has this massive fandom that has been built up around the potential of the character, much of which had to be borrowed from Dick because that's the only really available options and because his central relationship (the one with Bruce) has so many parallels to Dick's relationship (with Bruce) and because Dick being who he is means that he's very easy to like (Dick's not perfect and I'm certainly biased here, but I do genuinely think that Dick is pretty easy to like as a person) and because he has such a rich history of dynamics and relationships that fans see as being really fun to explore, if only Jason had had those relationships instead. I suspect a lot of it comes down to that there's this massive fandom for Jason--fic, posts about him, fanart of him, headcanons for him, etc., throw a rock in fandom and you'll hit a popular post that has Jason as their babygirl Blorbo--and comics themselves don't often match that and comics fandom are pretty notorious for hating their source material/throwing it out in a way that's borderline assumed default MO, so Jason fans aren't any different from people complaining that this comic or that comic coming out right now are garbage. Anyway, that's been my experience. It's not that Jason fandom doesn't do unique things with Jason's character (his death is different from what Dick's experienced, his relationship with Bruce does often come in different flavors, etc.) but the places where they overlap are ones that I can understand why it happens, even if I often personally find that it doesn't match up to who he is in the source material now and feel like there's a lot of really good, crunchy unexplored angles for a character who has been deeply hurt, but went over the line about it, like that's why the recent short story in Beast World Tour: Gotham went so hard for me, because it felt like it had teeth and claws in a way that I've been wanting for Jason for a long time.

[beanghostprincess]

Not sure if you've done a post already but curious to think how Usopp would react/what role he would play if he was at Whole Cake Island and how SanUso would change and grow as a couple after?

I was planning on doing a post like this tbh but I think I've already said a couple of times that I wanted Usopp on WCI. And it's not even because of my insane obsession with Sanuso (that too, tho) but because I think his personality would have fit the story perfectly. Also, I think that Sanji being crucial to Usopp's character back in Water 7 would have helped here too, with Usopp being present in one of Sanji's most vulnerable moments.

I think that following canon he would've been a part of the Chopper/Carrot storyline because of how fitting it would have been for his personality. We would have had so many funny moments with him there and back in the forest with Nami. However, I think that Usopp, being also part of the East Blue Crew and having a close friendship with Sanji (we don't see much of that post-timeskip, sadly, but they used to have so many interactions aaaa), he would have been there for the Luffy vs Sanji fight. I'm not sure if he would've stepped in, having more of an active reaction towards everything and trying to stop Sanji (because, well, at the end of the day, it is a Lusan scene and we can't take away their moment), but he for sure would have been there with Nami crying over everything. Idk. I think Usopp, being the first one who tried to leave the crew and having fought Luffy before, would understand Sanji. He would not be angry at his behavior like Nami, perhaps just frustrated and angry at himself and Sanji's family, mostly. It's hard to know what part of the story he would have been a part of because he already has his focus moment in Dressrosa and this is kind of to make Chopper/Carrot/Nami/Brook shine too bc they weren't there, but yeah, at the end of the day the story would have ended up being the same because the focus is Luffy and Sanji's relationship.

However, like I said, I think Usopp would understand Sanji's behavior somehow (even if the reason why Usopp tried to leave the crew wasn't the same one). We would've probably gotten a scene like the one he has with Nami after coming back to them ("coming back" meaning accepting that he wants to go back with them. That scene where she's mad and tells him and they'll never let him go again etcetc). But instead of what Nami does, I think Usopp would be just happy to have him back, and yet Sanji would feel guilty for what he had done to them. A lil scene of acknowledgment and understanding where Sanji asks why Usopp isn't angry and Usopp lets him know that he doesn't understand but understands to an extent (not feeling like he fits in and ending up in self-destructive behavior like trying to leave the crew) and they would inevitably grow closer after that.

Their dynamic within the OP world would change, of course, but when it comes to the main plot and their interactions they would pretty much stay the same because they talk like fucking twice in all of Wano and I am having a very hard moment watching this without them having scenes together- Please, being a Sanuso shipper is so hard-

But yeah, all of this is me trying to be realistic. From a more fanon perspective, I think Usopp should have just dressed up as Sogeking and saved Sanji like the superhero he is with the power of love and friendship and they would have gotten married. The end.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

You said this : "The ice cold fakeout of giving her hope that he might spare Mal? The implication that he’s fucking terrified of the fact that her offer is. actually tempting. That he might have a weakness as terrible as feelings."

I am kind of not sure how her offer involves feelings? I personally interpreted that offer as "I would one day become strong enough to defeat/kill you and I won't do it and would instead be loyal to you if you spare Mal". Is not wanting to die the feeling here? Because i would believe it 💀 yes not wanting to die is a sign of weakness indeed 👍🏻

I always just thought he just didn't believe her which yes she is lying, she will definitely eventually kill that menace of a man regardless.

Re: this post

Ah, I read that scene very differently!

The way the scene trajectory progresses, he starts out bitter and making up for it by flexing his power over her and making her beg. He already seems really spiteful and offended that she would turn on him so quickly.

I think this is very much a power trip that comes from him already feeling like he’s not as in control as he would like to be. That he did not have his claws in her as deep as he would have liked— because otherwise how could she have run?

Then she offers a trade, her cooperation for Mal’s life. It’s objectively a pretty good deal for him. He has something to hold over her head for a very long time! And she promised complete cooperation for something that ostensibly costs him very little.

I don’t think either of them view her as of enough consequence for killing him to even be a consideration tbqh. Her main threat is that if he kills Mal she will generally make his life harder and also try to kill herself.

So it’s more a question of whether he’s going to force her cooperation or simply accept it at the cost of keeping one guy alive. I really don’t think it’s a deal that, at face value, requires much trust or vulnerability for him. Accepting or not accepting isn’t going to make him more or less likely to live, it’s just about what his dynamic with Alina will be like.

Meanwhile he, and the narrative itself, seems to assume some sort of romantic or at least sexual element to any situation where she agrees to work with him. Here, he immediately reacts to her offer by a) kissing her (creep!!!) and b) an expression described as “longing” lmao. And similarly in S&S, the second she agrees to go with him in the chapel, he immediately starts making out with her in front of everyone’s salad. It’s taken for granted.

I’ve said before that there’s a constant undercurrent of sexual violence in all of their interactions. In the same vein, her being in his control is something that is consistently sexualized. The very concept of him putting a collar and fetters on her just. has undertones.

Re: the description of “longing” You could arguably read this behavior as him just lying again, but I think that’s inconsistent with the rest of his behavior. Throughout the series it’s clear that he does desire some sort of companionship or connection and that that’s a large part of his obsession with Alina. That there could be someone as long lived as him, who might understand him. But he also, textually, explicitly, finds any sort of vulnerability completely abhorrent. (“The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak” is basically his character thesis!)

The prospect of a prisoner who will willingly submit to him vs one who will fight him every step of the way seems to be a tempting one for him. He seems to actually consider it— and again, at face value, it really wouldn’t cost him much!

So when he refuses, I think it comes from him feeling threatened by the idea that he’s tempted at all. Longing isn’t something he wants to feel! It’s a weakness! The fact that she might have something to bargain with is itself intolerable to him. And I think that ties into how cruelly he goes about All Of This.

He’s deliberately closing the door on any sort of civility between them. I joke a lot about how short sighted it is that he doesn’t try to do any sort of damage control whatsoever the moment he catches up to her while they’re hunting for the stag. That it would probably be VERY easy to convince her back to his side. But at the crux of it, I think he cannot tolerate any scenario where she is given enough space to choose or be convinced at all.

And yeah I think that all comes back to his character thesis line!

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Yeah, no, I am 100% not going to shut up about this for the rest of the week. I wasn't expecting Saturday to live rent-free in my head like this. (I feel like I should go post a note of appreciation to one of the other blorbos on social media since I didn't get to introduce myself to them after the concert. I was just too spoon-depleted to do the fanboi thing more than once after being emotionally bulldozed by that concert.)

I've decided to go through my blog archives and... *~change some settings~* on things. Part of it is just straight-up paranoia even though everything was already anonymized and it's not like search works terribly well on this hellsite. But also... I've been on an entire-ass emotional journey for the past several days. I was not expecting to have such an extensive and personal conversation with Senpai on a first meeting, and it is rewiring my neurons about them. It was a wonderful, life-changing moment, and they are pretty much how I imagined them IRL. But now? I don't feel great about leaving the more unhinged posts up publicly.

I think my brain has officially collapsed the divide between Blorbo from My Media and the real person, and those kinda posts are just not what I want in relation to them anymore.

Like I said. Been a whole-ass journey.

Going through my old posts has also been an opportunity for me to re-examine what it was that I thought I wanted a year ago vs. where I'm at now. I keep going on about how my teenage self would have said yes immediately to Baroque violin had anyone offered, but... that was also me a year ago, before I'd started playing again. Reality has not been kind to my dreams of getting back to my former technical level within a year. But I keep thinking about how they did remind me that Baroque violin would actually put less stress on my neck if I'm using my left hand to support it. And, I would be vastly cutting back on high-position shifts, one of the main things aggravating my nerve.

Honestly, I think I'm kind of terrified of doing a thing that would be so meaningful for me on so many levels. Like, if I'm being real here, I am just a giant ball of nerves about the idea of having to invest a whole bunch of time, money and effort for the risk of discovering that this thing I thought I wanted so badly ends up being completely infeasible for some reason or another and it'll all turn to ashes in my mouth. I just... I just don't know if I have the capacity for that kind of heartbreak right now. I still feel so vulnerable, coming back into myself in the last couple of years.

But I keep coming back to the question: what might things look like next year?

I should go to bed.

[feelinkeeli]

Cal Kestis and why people say he's a "flat" character

Alright so.... months? ago I mentioned to @ironhoshi I had thoughts on Cal's character development in Fallen Order and I meant to share then in an original post instead of response.

So a lot of people, gamers in particular, tend to comment that they did not care for Cal as a protagonist because he came across as "flat" to them. A sentiment I don't agree with but I can kind of see how other people got there being a long time gamer myself.

I think this "Flat Cal" feeling is a result of expectations vs. reality people had for Jedi Fallen Order. Particularly when it comes to Power Fantasies and Survivor Fantasies.

Videogames often play into the Power Fantasy trope, especially Dark Souls- like games as JFO was marketed. The appeal of starting off weak and vulnerable and through time, effort, and skill turning into a powerful badass. Cal certainly does start off weak and grows into more power but the game's narrative as well as Cal's character development only briefly play into it.

When you consider it, Cal beats very few of the narrative Big Bads by himself. Merrin helps him with Malicos, the Shyyyo Bird with Ninth Sister, Cere initially rescues him Second Sister | Trilla, Vader kills Trilla, and Cere and Cal work together in the end to escape Vader. Aside from Ninth Sister, there aren't many narrative beats highlighting Cal's rising power in a way that leans into the Power Fantasy trope.

Notably, even the Ninth Sister scene gets dismantled from the Power Fantasy trope. Cal brags about how he defeated the Ninth Sister. Yet instead of praise for taking down a difficult opponent, Cere cautions Cal. She's happy he is growing stronger and more confident in himself but she cautions him against arrogance. A warning Cal later acknowledges as right of Cere to make. Cal learns to embrace humility instead of arrogance or overconfidence. His swagger is tempered. He defeats the illusion of Master Tapal not by fighting but by accepting the past.

Honestly, JFO pretty much dismantles the Power Fantasy trope.

Another trope people expected of JFO was a Survivor Fantasy (which I find very ironic now that the JFO sequel has been titled Survivor). In particular, a Lone Survivor Power Fantasy. The type of trope you see in the Lara Croft reboot and the zombie post apocalyspe horror genre (such as Last of Us and The Walking Dead). The idea of a character starting off weak and isolated and is forced to grow stronger and "harden" themselves so that rise above all the adversity trying to kill them (nature or man or even society).

Again, there's definitely a similar basis for this trope in JFO. Cal is one of a few survivors from Order 66, a survivor that is targeted and hunted. A perfect set up for the trope. Except JFO chooses to explore Trauma Recovery instead. JFO is a story of healing both the self and community. It's why Cal starts off brash and threantening to cut down Merrin to handing over his lightsaber to her and Merrin choosing to aide Cal as a result. It's why seeing all the damage on Kashyyyk pains Cal and how the planet hasn't been completely ravaged gives Cal hope. It's why Cal's flashback to his master result in him moving forward instead of letting the past define him. It's why Cere and Cal go through a bumpy mentor-and-mentee relationship resulting in both of them finding the willpower to stand up and fight for what's right. Why the fight against Vader ends with Cere on the brink of giving into the dark side of the Force again and Cal reminding her she has a choice. JFO is about trauma recovery and the importance of community in that recovery process. That one does not need to and should not do things alone.

In a sense JFO is also dismantling the the Lone Survivor Trope the same way it dismantles the Power Fantasy. Of course this dismantling of tropes instead of playing into them, as many videogames do, results in people feeling disatisfied. Gameplay and premise wise, the basis is there but it isn't explored narratively. So Cal comes across as flat because his character didn't develop the way people expected him to.

In reality, Cal's character development and growth is explored through acts of kindness, empathy, and forgiveness. It's about ending self-isolation, running and hiding from your problems, in order to heal and move forward. Cal's story in JFO is about picking himself up and then offering a hand to the next downed person he sees because it's easier to get up with help.

Cal isn't flat. He simply isn't a typical videogame protagonist.

[residentialrabbit]

how do most of the repurpose gang feel about starting a family in the future? not like the near future but like. the prospect in ANY future ya know? especially interested in ramón as someone who already has a child and noel since like that just feels like a real. possible vulnerability point for him! it’s cool if this is a topic that makes u uncomfy or whatever but i was just thinking what the gang might want for the future and how that could be different from like. what mc wants potentially. silly silly thoughts

Hmm! Interesting question!

Spoilers below for eveyones routes!

Ramon- Sees the MC as Ariel's other father/mother/parent already once they're married. Ramon wants to give Ariel the best and hopes/knows you want the same. He would also like to raise more children with you but know the whole "demon promotion" process might turn off people that one day want to reincarnate. In that case there's always adoption/finding a surrogate demon to host or impregnate Ramon.... Ohh, by the way Angel/Demon (cis and/or trans) can get pregnant too! (See Irene's route for the explanation) Though I think Ramon is the type to encourage promotion so you two can be together forever.

Kalei- Kalei would absolutely love the idea of raising a child with the MC! His only worry is that every 5 years he, and potentially you, will need to go back to Haven Home for a year to help wayward souls get into Utopia. He would love your child but his passion to help trial-goers is also important to him so something will have to be figured out. Maybe having your child stay with his parents? He swears they're good people, they raised him after all! Similar to Ramon he would encourage angel promotion and even put a good word for you! but adoption/surrogacy is also an option.

Noel- I think Noel would love to raise a family with you... but a lot the things that plague him even after his story still haunt him. He would probably go far as to think he would be a terrible father and that you deserve to raise a family with someone that isn't disgraced like him. Plus there's the issue of needing to be promoted (preferably to angel but demon is possible as well) into order to conceive a child. And if that happened Limbo, even post-good end, isn't ideal for a child he thinks. So in the end he would reject the idea and would just want to enjoy Limbo with you for eternity or till you want to take the trials. I made myself sad lol.

Given humans can't have children in the after life... it's kind of hard to give their thoughts on raising a family the only option is to adopt or find surrogate parents? So I'll answer it with only those two options in mind for them.

DJ Roadkill- DJ wouldn't mind raising a kid but given they live in Limbo it's not the safest place yet. Plus finding angel or even demon surrogates is pretty close to impossible. So that dream will have to be at the backburner till Limbo is recognized as a livable third realm that allows demon and angel residents that can or abandon the idea completely.

Mitts- I think would be too busy with her work bringing Utopia to the modern era and beyond to want to raise a child. She's sorta just happy with having you and her many inventions that while she affectionately calls them your children are still just inventions meant to serve her/others.

Rosita- Rosita prefers being the fun aunt vs being the mom. She doesn't hate kids! She just can barely take care of herself and would rather invest her time in you.

Irene- She's a hard pass on kids. She loves Ariel but one is enough for her and similar to Rosita and Mitts is happy with just you.

... wow I just realized none of the female characters listed here want kids LMAO. Good for them. I neglect Cherubim and Faye from this on purpose as I can't discuss this without going into part 2 spoilers.

Though if you want to do family/nextgen AUs with characters that don't want kids fine! this is just how, at present, would handle the topic in canon. And even then I could change my mind on who and who wants/doesn't want kids (hi me from the past if I'm reading this and changed my mind on any of these).

[jechristine]

I honestly don’t mean to offend you because I like your blog usually. But once in a while you get stuck on a point that is clearly not making sense and it’s almost as if you want to save face and not admit you were wrong, so you keep on going and making it even worse. You want to talk about celebrities feeding the parasocial, fine, it’s a reality, but picking a promotional post to make your point is weird and is giving I just have an agenda. Would it make you feel better if he said I watched it and it’s worth it? It would be pointless regardless, he’s just helping his brother out and being transparent about it. You are also comparing with celebrities that either have nothing in common with him (age, how they became famous, how they had to use social media) or you are giving passes because they had it harder (and they did, but does that make Z’s continued rs with her fanpages make it any less parasocial)? And all that about some comments he made on fame 1,5 years ago. Unless he has given interviews more recently…

I like your blog, I do, but you aren’t being astute on this, you just really want to make a point. It’s just weird that you feel this need.

Well I’ll agree that my point is getting clearer in my own head as I go around with different anons. I think of my blog as more of an ongoing discussion that shapes my own thinking, and less of a “I make a fully fleshed out argument that’s either right or wrong.” From my pov, developing a viewpoint in tandem with others is a common process is talking and writing especially in low-stakes space like tumblr. If my point is unclear it’s because I’m working on it as I go and trying to respond to different angles that anons bring up. I’m pretty open to being challenged, I’d say.

There’s also a central point I’m trying to make—that celebrities play a role in nurturing and activating parasocial relationships that they benefit professionally and financially from. Some anons seem to be feeling really defensive about that point as applied to Tom Holland, probably because of the parasocial relationship he’s successfully created with them! But I’m not going for good vs bad, criticize vs celebrate, as they seem to be expecting me to.

And there are ancillary points that have come up because anons who feel angry love to take conversations to whataboutism or other deflections. Those ancillary points: 1) other celebrities create less toxic (?) or potent versions of those parasocial relationships, maybe because they’re older and more mature? I’m 33 and I don’t see 26yo’s sm lives as that much different than mine idk. Or maybe because those other celebrities have simply never been committed to an idea of showing vulnerability the way Tom has? Or something else or some combination? 2) the immutable traits of a person’s identity play a role in how they are able to succeed in the entertainment industry and to what extent they need to connect to fans for that success. And 3) that some quasi political figures who are also celebrities like the BRF Harry & Meghan have additional or different incentives for putting themselves out there.

So to your point: I guess I agree that the Paddy post isnt the best example of Tom activating the parasocial relationships that he’s played a role in developing, but I do think it’s an instance of his doing so. I didn’t pick it exactly. The issue that I’ve talked about many times over the last year popped up yesterday again on @wetheoriginals blog, and I said the same kind of thing I always say about it.

I think about the point I’m trying to make as being spurred more by the desire to defend fans who are caught up in a market system that doesn’t really benefit them in any material way. Maybe it makes them feel good for a second.

Like I said, I think most celebrity-fan relationships include an element of the parasocial, and how much each contains and activates can be better assessed along a spectrum. It’s a part of celebrity culture, and I usually see very reductive or shallow assessments of it (I.e. “this stan needs to touch some grass”). I’d like to think more about it and how it works.

[kob131]

Claude, although subtle, DOES have character development. It’s most noticeable in his support with Cyril.

Edelgard, if you ask me, is the one whose character arc needs serious improvement.

I should mention… Verdant Wind was my first route, Azure Moon my second, and Crimson Flower my third.

Verdant Wind-Edelgard made a BAD first impression on me by the end.

Azure Moon-Without spoiling anything… I ended up hating her EVEN MORE after this route.

Crimson Flower prompted SOME thought… and I ultimately decided it did NOT redeem her in my eyes. She comes off less as changing for the better and more as being prevented from changing for the worse. That dialogue you mention about her relaxing her views on the church rings hollow considering this is the only route where the church is more or less completely dismantled, vs reforming on other routes. She overall comes off as remaining static, with her character not changing much, if at all. Not to mention that the story seemingly goes out of its way to ensure her misinformed view of Fodlan history is never challenged. (Which feels more sue-ish to me.)

It’s also kinda funny that you claim Claude’s flaws never screw him over when, in fact, they DO screw him over in any route outside his own! And it’s heavily implied he only really succeeds in his route because he has Byleth on his side. Also… pretty sure his cheerful attitude is a cover for his pain.

Although, I suppose without knowing if you’ve played Azure Moon, or your thoughts on it if you have, I can’t form a full opinion on your thoughts. So I’ll just wait and see.

(BTW, the TRUE Mary Sue in the overall Three Houses canon is Three Hopes!Dimitri)

Okay, before I go anywhere with this, i want to say that I appreciate that you took your time to come and explain yourself to me. Very rarely do I get something like this and instead get preaching to the choir or really bad arguments that don't do shit. So thanks for putting in so much time and effort.

1- I can't deny or affirm this since I didn't GET Cyril in my run. And from what I remember- Claude acts a little more trusting and his facade is more truthful by the end. That doesn't help that Claude is still the guy who gets the most hopeful route when he presents less vulnerability.

2- While I do understand this and I am not going to argue for her on any kind of objective basis here- I do have to say that the Church being dismantled doesn't make her relaxing her views come across as less hollow to me. This kind of stuff would go beyond just the Church since the real problem is the tramua she suffered rather than the Church's issues. Also I can't really think of a way to change it so the Church stays since you need Rhea and Seteth/Flaynn around still. And no fucking way can Edelgard pull off the shit she does and they stick around.

2.5- Going to the history bit- I can understand that. She isn't being challenged here properly and I get that. But my issues with Claude weren't fully detailed in my post so sorry about that.

Another of my big issues is just what was revealed in Verdant Wind: The history of Foldlan, the relics and Rhea's past. This is all stuff that should have been at least shared with the other routes, ESPECIALLY Silver Snow since...you know...that's RHEA'S route and the final boss is NEMESIS, her mother's murderer? Of all the places to have the Agarthans and Nemesis show up, Claude, the guy least affected by them, gets to fight them.

As far as I know, you don't get to get revenge on them for killing Edelgard's family and torturing her, shattering Dimitri's mind and ruining Rhea's life. No, CLAUDE gets the fight.

Again, I could be wrong. My personal experience lacks Azure Moon and Silver Snow. And I know this is emotional and stupid as all hell. But...fucking hell, it REALLY feels like the developers realized Claude was the weakest Lord in terms of character and then shoved the backstory into his route to give you a reason to fight with him.

3- Yeah, the problem there is that from what I've seen, other characters drop their masks but Claude never really does. Just once, can he not have a smile on his face.

And- You'll have to explain how Claude keeping up a facade fucks him over in Crimson Flower. Best I could get there is that without Byleth, Claude's fakeness means no one will rally behind him. Which...doesn't get that much focus compared to Dimitri.

4- I haven't and my memories of Verdant Wind and Crimson Flower are a bit distant since I took about a year to revisit this game. This is kind of why I would like for you to explain the bits about Claude like you did against Edelgard.

Just as well- my thoughts here are just that. My thoughts, not an actual analysis of Three Houses and the routes. In that sense, Claude's route is perfectly functional and works well as a contrast to the more dour routes along with fitting his rouge-like aesthetic and the Golden Deer's more cheerful tone. (That...might just be because of Rapheal though). Claude's development isn't obvious and upfront but it doesn't need it. In fact, Claude's upbeat demeanor is something that can't really be filled by anyone else in the route and is necessary for the tone and unique identity of Verdant Wind. So he works perfectly fine here on an objective level.

You really shouldn't take what I said before as any actual judgement on his character. That was me summing up my year old thoughts on a route I personally didn't like.

Oof, kinda ranted a bit in my earlier ask.

If it makes you feel better, Three Hopes has some… opportunities to vent your frustrations with Claude.

No problem, man. I clearly touched a frayed nerve there and I know all too well the feeling. I should have explained myself better if I didn't want to get a rant after all.

And...if that's a reference to killing Claude, I don't really want that. I want Claude to be vulnerable or for me to snark at him for making jokes about poisoning others. Like dude, I know it's a joke but the fucking diplomats won't care. Probably a good thing I paired him with Ingrid- She can act as the resident Claude translator.

[uten4]

Informal Thoughts Post-Reading Gideon the Ninth

WHATTTTT THEEEEEE HECKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Style

This book has a style that will not let you forget that you are reading a book. It's one of the most styles ever. Tamsyn Muir keeps using words in ways I never thought were possible; it genuinely is impressive. And even when her words are normal, her prose is very clever. The pages are crawling with life...

...which won't appeal to everyone. Some people want a straightforward style, and this is not that. For me, it was an acquired taste, and even after I acquired it, it was still hit-or-miss sometimes. Muir's word choice illustrates things in ways that may have been impossible if she hadn't gone all-in like this, but there were plentyyy of times where it jarred me out of the story. Either because I just couldn't buy a particular phrase, or because I was being sent to the dictionary often enough that it started thinking I was putting the moves on it. The latter isn't so bad to me, but the former is a bit problematic.

Also, Gideon has a lot of quips, which I mostly got used to, but it did annoy me when she broke them out even in some of the most serious moments.

Plot/Concept

I was worried at first because I was told this book was a slow crawl at the beginning, but it actually wasn't so bad at all in that department. Maybe it's just because I was prepared for it, however.

The plot was enjoyable. I was really excited for the "And Then There Were None" style mystery, but I was not prepared for how the deaths were going to hit. I'll go into it more in the Big Spoilers section at the end, but while the first set of deaths was like "aww, that's pretty sad" to me, the second set was heart-wrenching, the third individual was whatever, and then I really felt every death from there. The ominous change in the atmosphere as the cast dwindled more and more... it was really something.

The fight scenes and necromancy scenes were very good. Some of those bone fights were breathtaking, and they got really crazy at the end (hence my screaming in the beginning of this post. Also a result of the plot twists, which were cool).

My favorite scene overall was the dinner table duel (ft. Dyas and Camilla but the other characters' presences and reactions were AMAZING too). The entire scene was just a 10/10 on action, physical drama, and character drama. It was amazing, it was heart-pounding. I loved it.

I also liked Ianthe vs the Eighth House. Oh gosh... the brutality of necromancy, especially the self-brutality, is captivating, and I think this scene really exemplified that.

But even though necromancy was such a wild subject to watch in action throughout this book, there's still a few tiny but very important things I still don't understand about it. Like how did necromancers sometimes prevent others from moving physically? What part of that is necromantic? I may have just missed the answer to that one somewhere lol.

Characters/Relationships

And speaking of Ianthe, I wish that we'd seen more of Ianthe, Naberius, and Coronabeth's inner workings. Maybe I'll notice more details about them if/when I go back and reread scenes with them, but like... I don't know. We see Ianthe's confidence, but we never see with our own eyes the side of her that made her do what she did, without any remorse. It would have been cool to understand the Third House more.

I really like Harrowhark. She's so smart and powerful, but also kind of Just A Teenage Girl... I love the dichotomy of how she looks powerful, decisive, confident, etc., etc. to so many of the people around her, but we also end up seeing a lot of vulnerability in her. And I feel so, so, so bad for her...

I also think it's grimly cute that in that one scene near the end where she's talking to Gideon and it's unclear whether it's really Gideon speaking or just Harrow's hallucination, Gideon is very flirtatious. More flirtatious in speech than she'd ever been to Harrow prior. And Gideon quotes something that I'm assuming is part of the necromancer-cavalier oath, which she'd never heard before. So I read it as being Harrow's hallucination, and because she has a gay crush on Gideon that she probably hasn't come to terms with yet, she imagines Gideon talking to her the way she wishes she would deep down ;~;

I LOVE Palamedes and Camilla so much. I love their collaboration with Gideon and Harrow so so so so so much it was SOOOOOOOO fun to me. I LOVE THEM. I love that they're some freaking medical nerds, and that they're also REALLY SKILLED. And REALLY NICE!!!!!!!!!!! 😭 And I love their relationship with each other it's so deep and beautiful and fun.

Gideon... Gideon, Gideon. My big problem with her is that she has no larger motivation whatsoever after she leaves the Ninth House. Nothing drives her through the story. She never (or barely) even thinks, "I need to survive this so I can go be free when the Lyctorhood stuff is over." She's actually a very passive protagonist; she has few opinions on anything in the plot. This leads to countless scenes where everyone is really invested in the topic at hand... except for Gideon.

The only thing that drives her into action is a threat of danger to someone else, so... basic human morality. And even then, she barely thinks about it; it's just automatic for her. And then her arc ends the way it passed, with her not having any big motivations of her own or any value of herself. Actually, does she have a formal character arc? If someone who read this book actually reads this, please feel free to lmk how Gideon develops as a character in this, because I can't think of anything.

And the book is named after her. Poor Gideon.

Homosexuality

I really liked how Gideon's crush on Dulcinea was written. A very slow sinking into a beautiful woman with a magnetic personality. Her crush on Coronabeth was also pretty good.

I think Gideon and Harrow's relationship is extremely interesting, and definitely sweet for Harrow, but... I don't know... if I can get behind a romance with them... I feel complicated about it because even though Gideon forgave her, Harrow has just tormented her so much, and prevented her from having freedom for so long. I really really loved their teamwork at the end though. Maybe if I reread stuff and ponder it again and ponder life I will Understang...

Oh, but overall, this was NOT a romance book lollllll. That was disappointing to me personally (PERSONALLY, obvs not a flaw. Except maybe that exaggerated advertising on the cover cough cough) cuz I was looking for sapphic action And romance, but I'm still very glad I read it.

Discussion of some Big Spoilers

AHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! PALAMEDES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! HE FREAKING DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's so sad, guys. U_U Obviously I should have expected it because everyone was dying, but I loved his character so much, and now Camilla is alone... It's so sad.

And I don't super like how he died. We knew he had a crush on Dulcinea for a large part of the book, but then we were kind of just told how important the crush was to him (and how he went into the medical field solely for her... uhhh... that's so horrifyingly sad, but I'll choose to believe that even though he went INTO it for her, he found a lot of joy in it otherwise! Relatable actually! And plausible since he's clearly obsessed with it) and then he immediately went and killed himself for her.

Even though we had way more show-not-tell evidence of how deep his passion was for other things. If he died for Camilla for example, that would have been more satisfying because we've seen time and time again how deep his feelings were for her. We don't know anything about why he loved Dulcinea, which just makes it more sad :(

The only thing that redeems it is the fact that he was also trying to keep the Emperor and everyone else from dying, but it looks like his sacrifice didn't even work in the end ;~; He died for nothing? Poor, poor, poor, poor Palamedes.

I'm really happy Camilla survived though :D I was thinking how awesome it would be for Muir to subvert expectations and keep her alive, and she did!!!!!! Great move for writing and great move for my heart. BUT WHERE DID SHE GO? WHERE DID CORONABETH GO??!?!! God. This is bait to get me to read the sequel and it's pretty good bait.

And. Now baby girl Harrow has to live on like this :( Another tragedy added on to her pile of tragedies. At least she got to experience someone loving her, and she was able to show them some love back. Ooouuuuuuuuu....

[marcuspierce]

okay, so while i was working on the formatting of my really really long answer, i tried to save it as a draft but the ask just... disappeared??? it's not in my inbox, not in drafts, not even in my queue! it's just gone???? so i am very sorry for not answering your ask directly, anon, but i did take a screenshot before that for ease of referencing + saved my answer in a word document so at least i can still answer your question, even if it's in a roundabout way!

here's the answer, exactly as i had intended to answer it before tumblr decided to be a bitch:

oh this is such a lovely question so thank you, thank you, thank you for asking!!! i just love anything that involves intimancy/vulnerability and commitment when it comes to these two and this combines those concepts so well!

before i put a read more (both for length and to hide some bitterness that slipped through), i will give a tl;dr and say that i have thought about it and my answer is yes! they would/could definitely end up considering having children, and they would/could even have some!

this is actually a concept i have previously explored some years ago in two fics and a post about adorable onesies, and, more recently, in two parts of my series of social media edits! at first i only wrote them with one child, but in my posts from this year they have two!

read more time now!

now, before i begin actually talking about the specific matter at hand i just wanna say... when you say that you wish rory's inclusion had been better executed do you mean that there should've been (more of) a built up around lucifer, who, even as far as season 4, said that he detests children and wants nothing to do with them, actually being downright enthusiastic about being a father? or at least that there would be some sort of a more specific exploration wrt his feelings about random children vs a child he has contact with (such as trixie or charlie, who are clearly dearly liked by lucifer) and how that would relate to a child of his own and how his life circumstances (being in hell - perhaps/hopefully there aren't many children down there => discomfort due to lack of contact, but as he lives longer on earth that diminishes, OR just in general his insane self-esteem issues/self-hatred that are deeply tied to his time in hell and the things he had to do there, which would push him away from fatherhood simply out of kindness towards his imaginary future child - or his own childhood - it is so so clear that at least on a subconscious level he is aware of cycles of abuse, due to his deep hurt and displeasure when he heard from adult!rory that he sucked as a dad, plus he sees a great deal of himself in his father, which would just contribute to his self-hatred and would result in a refusal of fatherhood in order to not "inevitably" repeat the abuse he endured at the hands of his father... or, if actually faced with the done deal, it would result in... well, whatever breakdown amenadiel had about charlie, but probably more extreme)? or perhaps it is about him being forced to be an absent father and therefore not break the cycle of harming your child that his own father started and that lucifer was shown to desperately want to break? or just a combination of all of these things?

ok, phewwwwww, i am done with the rant, but thank you for giving me the opportunity to rant about one of the two only negative hills about this show that i am willing to die on! cause well, i actually stopped watching the show some good seasons back because i realized that the writers and i had completely different ideas about how to approach things. and while most things i can just chalk up to that, well, everything i heard about rory and lucifer has left such a horrible taste in my mouth and nothing has been able to make me less pissed off about it!

on this note, my knowledge about seasons 4-6 is pretty spotty and therefore i generally only make use of concepts/plot ideas in my analysis wrt long term piercifer. so yknow, some characters, mainly marcus' parents, are most likely nothing like their canon counterparts!

ok, so now to get to the actual topic at hand, i think that the subject would definitely come up and it would be a huge issue, i think even on par with them needing to figure out how they work together and how to make their relationship fulfilling for both of them. which makes perfect sense, because this is a life altering decision, that affects both the individuals, but also the couple, AND, most importantly, the child. and the child truly is a faultless party in this whole thing, but also the party that would be hurt the most. it is not an easy situation and it requires a lot out of them. so both of them acknowledging and treating it like a big deal already is a step in the right direction.

for lucifer, i already outlined some ideas in the rant above:

firstly we have him just not being used to interact with children so he associates that uncomfortable feeling of inadequacy with a displeasure for children (tbh i feel like he is not used to interact with people, in general, outside of very specific contexts but that's a bit less related to my point) so point against fatherhood no1!

but, this is the easiest to solve, as it just takes time. after all, the more you do something, the better at it you become! but, because it is something that changes slowly over the course of years, that means that lucifer would be quite oblivious to it. everyone around him would notice, it would be hard not to. he stops being bothered by children just... existing where he also happens to exist. he starts getting along quite well with trixie and even starts asking her parents about her and buying her presents for her bday. when it comes to charlie, lucifer's thrilled to find out that he's going to be an uncle and he's quite emotional when amenadiel offers him to hold charlie, and he obliges very happily and afterwards he talks marcus' ear off about the moment. he is also very happy when it becomes clear that charlie likes him.

and everyone notices these things, except for lucifer. so when asked he still insists that he hates children and that he just cannot stand the little "parasites", but after a while people stop taking him seriously when he says things like that.

but not hating kids does not a father make, and lucifer's other hangups are far more complicated and deep-rooted, namely his own chilhood and the resulting trauma/issues. but for these things it is mostly a matter of realizing that you need help and then asking for it, which lucifer is trying to do. and i definitely think that finding the kind of therapy that is most useful to him would help him tremendously and that + a support system (which he has in his friends and marcus) would help him get to a point where most of the day to day stuff becomes manageable and then he can focus on more deep-rooted things, things that he may not even realize are influenced by his trauma or that he doesn't think affect him, such as how his trauma influences his views on certain issues and one of those issues would definitely be parenthood. and the conclusion would be that his self-hatred, both from him having to go against his morals and do horrible things to survive in hell, but also from seeing himself in his own (shitty) father and therefore expecting to turn out the same, has absolutely influenced how he feels about the topic.

for marcus, on the other hand, i feel like there would be a journey. like, i always saw his parents being young and inexperienced at just... life, in general, when they have him and they don't really have who to go to for help (well... i suppose grovelling for g*d's forgiveness - just so they could ask the guy some questions - was an option, but not doing that was the better option ny far), so they don't really know what raising a child means and because of that they end up being quite neglectful. as such, marcus had to learn how to fend for himself and attempt to fulfill on his own as many of his needs as possible really fast, especially once there was someone smaller and needier than him around, so he became very capable, responsible organized, as Knowledgeable as one could be in that situation, but also both cautious and quite curious and willing to try stuff out at the same time, and also someone who could fake maturity really well and who was really good at taking care of others, which extended into being good at reading and interacting with people. all of these things come from him, at least subconsciously, realizing that, despite being a toddler who's faking it, he's the one person in that house who has any idea what they're doing and that that position is one that desperately needs to be filled.

all of this results in him emotionally distancing himself from others and retreating into himself, starting to built the wall/armour that he would later on use as a jaded, heartbroken adult. and a consequence of that retreating into himself and of prioritising this role he has bestowed upon himself is that he doesn't really explore who he is and what he likes and wants until adulthood. as such, parenthood is, at first, something that he does to be fulfill a role that was assigned by society and by fulfilling that role he blends in with everyone else and the ways he is not like everyone else stay a secret, but also it's about doing something familiar, something that he knows how to do. but he likes. loves it, in fact. he adores that child, and is, therefore, a complete wreck when that child dies after having a life, growing and changing and getting older while he just stays frozen in time, looking the exact same way as he did when said child was born decades earlier.

but, the first tragedy would come before that, when he would realise that everyone around him is visibly growing older while he stays suspiciously young, and people will notice soon and no one can notice. and as he packs up he is forced to endure abandoning the child he loves so so much and miss out on the little time (by his standards) that he had left with them. and he couldn't even tell them. doing so would defeat the purpose of leaving.

still, he tried again and again and again, just like he had with friends, lovers and just about any connection one could make. and no matter how much he tried, it always ended the same way, until he decided to stop trying and he allowed his armour of apathy and his wall of isolation to fully encircle him and solidify cause then he wouldn't get hurt. we know how well that worked out and what it did to him... until he met lucifer, that is!

finally someone he can be fully honest with, someone who can see him exactly as he is and oh, he won't leave him either!

so really his issue, as with all things relationships and connection, is mortality, as it is a luxury he doesn't have, but one that any children he has will have. so it ended up being something that he considered to be off the table for him, and he didn't think to revisit those wounds and that issue in therapy even after lucifer came into his life and nestled himself a place in it because, well, for decades on end lucifer's stance on it was clear. and marcus was fine with it as that wasn't a wound he was keen on reopening and picking at.

but then those decades passed and lucifer reached a point where he had worked out through enough of his issues that parenthood did feel on the table for him. and trying to bring it up did not go very well, at first, because they just weren't quite in the same place... yet! but that alright, cause they had all the time in the world, and when they did end up in the same place all was well and all was easy cause they were, in fact, on the same page.

with one small potential caveat: marcus was all for it, he had loved being a father and he had always wished he could do it right, but he couldn't bear that pain, the pain of watching his child grow old and die while he stayed the same, ever again, nor could he bear the thought of lucifer ever feeling that pain either. that could be an issue... or not. i don't see how any child that is not completely human wouldn't be immortal lmao

and if that really is the narrative the show decided to go with well... loser behaviour! boo tomato tomato! good thing i don't care and, even if i did, there sure are ways around it!

but yeah, the child being related to lucifer and therefore immortal is exactly lucifer's argument and that realisation sways marcus pretty quick!

and i think in a scenario like this, where they both give themselves and the other the time to heal and to figure out how they work as a couple before bringing another family member into the mix, they would be wonderful parents! sweet, caring, attentive, affectionate, intentional, just all the good things. and it would be easy... because they have learned what not to do (well, that's not a guarantee, but all of that work towards healing sure brings it close to a guarantee).

i think that's it! going further than that would be off topic... and just excessive given the insane walls of text i already wrote lmao

so, again, thank you so much for the question and i hope this was a satisfying... and coherent answer!