#I find my mind screaming JUST BE NORMAL!!!!!!!! so often. it’s infuriating. there is not a (sober) moment where I’m not just judging myself

[milo-is-rambling]

How to stop liking people so much that I accidentally fixate on them and spend so much time thinking about them that I have a separate in my brain version of them and a real person version of them. It’s difficult because it works in two ways. Either I like a kind person and the brain fixating is just a like. Living in the love type obsessive feeling and it’s fine yknow a little weird but not terrible. Or I like a person who is Bad for me and I obsess over the fake what they COULD be in my brain version and I’m so attached to the fake version that I let them hurt me in real life bc I like the possibility of them being kind/holding on to the in the brain version for comfort despite knowing it’s hurting me in the long run.

[omaticwriting]

MW: Group Mari: Station 1 -(Complacency)

It was a hot summer in Escade, school just ended and you and I, not to mention the whole class actually were on the edge of our seats just waiting for the day school finally ends, I didn’t really mind or…pay attention for that matter, I was mostly looking out the window, there was a bird nest full of eggs and the mom bird was just asleep on them, it was cute.

“Psst, hey…hey! Mia!…hey!” You called out to me, for someone who was known to be a bit loud back then, you were surprisingly quiet when you tried getting my attention, or I wasn’t listening, [“hey!”] anyway I looked at you with a confused look, I honestly wasn’t sure what you were going to tell me but I was interested…plus you never really tried getting my attention so it was a bit of a surprise.

“Hm?” was all I could say before looking at you, you seemed really confident, and even had your goofy smirk as you looked at me. “Hey Mia, I’m betting my summer allowance that you’ll have a sucky summer!” you gave your usual banter, it was honestly endearing at this point. But I had to talk some smack back to your bratty noggin. [hmmm] what?! We did that a lot in the past! “Hmmm? is that a be~~~t?” I slyly asked with a smirk [you and your…warkin smirk of yours…it’s always bad news when you smirked], not my fault you always lost, now is it? Anyway, it was funny that you gulped with nervousness as I looked at you. It was nice to see you try to act tough though. “Y-yeah! It is,” you talked as if you won an achievement “we try to have as much fun this summer, whoever has the best stories to tell when we meet again gets to make the other person do whatever they want next summer” I could only smirk, no way was I planning to lose, so with determination, I spoke “deal!”

… 

“Now hold on” Ivan stopped Mia’s story, he looked at her with shock as he thought he saw pettiness in her eyes. A playful sort but still pettiness all the same.

“Are you…” his question was soon answered as her iconic smirk came to view…the gall. “Mia, that was years ago, do you seriously want to?”  He felt himself grow annoyed.

Mia could only give a giggle before replying “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” she cheeky grinned at his question before erupting in playful laughter as Ivan looked more infuriated “I’m Kidding, I’m kidding!” she kept chuckling before finally finding all of her was now out of her system “I know it’s been years, I’m not that petty so don’t worry” she tried to reassure but bared no fruit. Ivan simply looked at her with mild mistrust before speaking “okay…” 

…

Now. where was I? [the deal?] thank you. Now, the class was almost over and we shook our hands to seal the bet we had made that summer. You and I were determined to win. Then the bell rang. 

“See you next year Ivan!” I screamed out. I didn’t waste time leaving the classroom, plus I had everything packed before the bell rang so it wasn’t that hard. “Remember our bet!” I heard you yell out, though I’m pretty sure both of us would forget about it and just enjoy our summer like last year [you’re not wrong about that].

As the sun set, I got home. Escade wasn’t a big city. At least compared to other wall cities, being only roughly 500 square kilometers? Something similar to it. Though I have heard it was one of the few highly industrialized cities in the restless isles [densely populated too…] that is true. Another rumor I’ve heard is that the architecture was similar to the new world that our world fused with. 

Home was nice. It smelled of flowers, leaves, and hot water…though I guess it’s normal for a tea shop. The shop itself was mostly quiet.  we don’t get customers often, especially being near the west side of the wall [at least the school was near it] yeah, but it gained a lot thanks to the quality of the tea, so that was enough to keep everyone fed and happy.

“Ah, Welcome back Mia!” “Welcome back Mia, how was school?” I heard a voice call from the customer’s room, looking to it was Dad and Maria [...] what?! Even if she practically raised me I still saw her as more an older sister than a mother.

[I guess that's just something about being adopted I guess] …. [...sorry] you better be. Anyway, it was nice to see them, I honestly felt as if I didn’t see them in months and just bolted to them. “Hey Dad, he Big sis! School was great!” I yelled out, I was practically jumping with joy.

Both of them smiled “how about you tell us at dinner?” Dad suggested, he seemed pretty fond of what I was going to tell. 

After dinner, I was pooped! The only thing I wanted to do was just go to bed, but before I did I saw an old photo of my dad and my uncle when they were kids. The part of the photo where my uncle’s head was burnt off and when I asked dad about it he seemed to either change the topic or dismiss it altogether.

Regardless, I looked at it for a while, it became a habit at that point before I went to my room. Whilst I cuddled in my sheets, I had a lot of Ideas of what I wanted to do Tomorrow and as I fell asleep, I couldn’t wait for what adventures tomorrow had.

And then The Fall happened…

[mochi-ficz]

the boyz' bedroom roles

how i imagine the boyz' role(s) when making love with you

it's me, your favorite horny bastard with something else tbz related because honestly?? i'm just a slut for tbz fanfiction as of recent. obviously, these are all strictly my opinions, but i feel like i should clarify that anyways. these are all genderless because gender is a social construct 😌 moving on

genre: smut, some fluff in certain parts

includes mentions of (oh god this is going to be a long list): praise kink, degradation kink, pet names, bdsm, torture, dacryphilia, brat taming, experimentalism, exhibitionism, brief mention of a threesome, cockwarming, cock slapping, sex toys, restraints, marking, forced submission, somnophilia, casual sex, vanilla sex, teasing, wax play, blindfolds, orgasm denial, cum eating, spit swallowing, spanking/whipping, katoptronophilia, face sitting, edging, overstimulation, milking

i think that's all the mentions/warnings, please let me know if you noticed i missed something!

a/n: the gifs are just some of my favorites, i really don't have a theme for them lol.

sangyeon!

i feel like it goes without saying at this point, if you follow me or keep up with me at all, you know i worship the idea of this man being a service top. i will continue to live under the belief that sangyeon is the service top.

my reasoning being that sangyeon is very warm and caring, and would love to please you any way he can, including sexually. sangyeon is so eager to please, and will cater to your every need accordingly. if you want him to be your little pain slut, he's more than willing. if you want him to fuck you senseless until you can barely form sentences and can't even remember what was troubling you to begin with, he'll do that too.

sangyeon truly lives to make you happy. this baby loves to be rewarded though, so please be sure to praise him for doing such a good job, and reward him with plenty of kisses and cuddles. it's also a reward for you because you get to see his angelic smile.

jacob!

honestly, i see jacob as a switch. i think jacob would be the perfect angelic sub, taking the pain you give him and taking your cock (whether fake or real) so well. jacob would look absolutely beautiful with tears decorating his cheeks, eyes glossed over with pleasure.

however, this little bitch is also a very good dom. any trace of that angelic sub i mentioned previously is gone. jacob is naturally musically inclined and would love to hear your beautiful voice scream his name as he drives you wild.

he loves to try new things with you as well, regardless of who is receiving it. honestly, you each feed off each other's happiness, and at the end of the day, jacob is still satisfied knowing you're happy as well.

please just be respectful with him, and treat him like the king he is. jacob knows his worth and won't settle for being used.

younghoon!

ABSOLUTE ANGEL. younghoon would be an amazing sub, despite being very large and looking somewhat intimidating at first. younghoon loves to be pleasured and rewarded for his good behavior. sometimes he'll try to tease you, but he would end up getting embarrassed, and you'd smile down at him as you notice the cutest little pink blush settling across his cheeks.

younghoon would also look beautiful with tears streaming down his face, and making the most sinful noises for you. this sweet baby loves your touches and will cum for you as many times as you want him to.

he loves bonding with you too. in any way possible. i feel like he's the member that would be the most down for cockwarming, regardless of which of you is giving or receiving. at the end of the day, he just wants you to hold him and wipe the tears from his eyes while you tell him how pretty he is and how good a job he did.

hyunjae!

brat #1. hyunjae does not want to be your sub willingly. he'd rather die than let you take him down easily. you'll have to use force if you want to hear his pretty sounds.

in my mind, the perfect scenario is having him tied up vertically, with a bar spreading his legs. you'll approach him with a devilish smirk and ask him "are you ready for your punishment, slut?" and he'll simply respond to you with a shit-eating grin and a triumphant "go to hell." i can imagine you edging for hours, waiting for him to break, and when he does, he's like clay in your hands.

honestly this man is a slut for pain, and loves to be degraded. if you call him a worthless piece of meat— or any degrading nickname by that matter— you can expect him to be rock solid.

i feel like hyunjae would be down with somnophilia, because despite being a little bratty bitch, he also loves being taken advantage of and treated as your toy.

juyeon!

i'm going against what seems to be the majority here and saying this boy is a sub. i realize his stage presence may make him look more dominant, but once he's underneath you, that facade will vanish.

he's a good boy, very much so, and like sangyeon, he loves to please. however, sometimes when he's in the mood, he'll try to dom you, in which case you'll simply have to make him see that he could never satisfy himself like you can when you're domming him.

i feel like he may slip into sub space a bit easier than other members? so please, when you're done with him, give baby gentle cuddles. he loves your kisses, and it's so rewarding seeing him sleepy from all the pleasure, and hearing him let out a soft, content sigh into the crook of your neck as you hold him tight.

kevin!

brat #2. again, i could just leave this off here, but that wouldn't be very fun.

speaking of fun, kevin would be the best member to have casual sex with. both of you mirroring the other's dopey smile as you make love.

however, when kevin wants to be bratty, he will be the biggest pain in the ass. if you thought dealing with hyunjae was a mess, just wait for kevin. he would annoy you anytime, anywhere. moaning into your ear in public, trying to touch up your thighs, rubbing his ass against your front nonchalantly, while you silently get infuriated.

kevin loves being punished, and loves to be marked up. be sure to fulfill his wishes, or he'll find even more clever and devious stunts to pull on you so you have no choice but to mark him up and punish him.

new!

do i even need to say it?

this man is such a little slut, and no, i will not be taking any criticism. he loves to look pretty for you, including cross dressing, and be treated like a prince. new has a massive praise kink, and would love to be told he looks and sounds beautiful.

he would also love to have hickeys on his neck and be marked. he sees himself as a piece of art, and each mark you give him just seems to add to his beauty. he's no stranger to rough sex, but he prefers you to be gentler and treat him like the beautiful doll he is.

did i mention he's also a crier? he's so sensitive, when you work him up enough, he'll just sob and make the most beautiful, yet pornographic sounds. he loves you to play with his sensitive nipples too.

some of his favorite things to do is play with wax and/or be blindfolded. you wouldn't mind, because with your marks on him and hot wax dripping down his front, he would look gorgeous.

q!

changmin would make an excellent power bottom.

his neck is literally made for marking up, so please take advantage of that. he's also one kinky little fucker, and loves to try new things. he would even be open to a threesome.

he likes praise and degradation, so if you call him things like "my slutty little prince," you can have him wrapped around your finger just like that.

he loves when you let him do what he wants with you, he has so many fantasies he wants to try. including sex in public. his dream is to be shoved up against a wall and fucked senseless, knowing that anyone could walk by and see him getting railed by you.

another one is you slapping his cock and denying him. he's no stranger to pain and would absolutely love for you to torture him. he loves bdsm and honestly any kind of toy or torture method he sees or hears about will immediately become something he wants to try.

as kinky as he is, he also needs to be reassured that you love him, so soft, passionate sex is also something he loves to do with you. he'll get shy looking into your loving eyes, and hide his face with his hands, but you can tell by the flush on the tips of his ears that he's embarrassed.

changmin is the king of duality, but at the end of the day, please love him. he loves to know you're his and he's yours.

juhaknyeon!

honestly with haknyeon, i'm not sure! i feel like he would be a switch as well. maybe one of those "freak in the sheets, normal in the streets" type of deals?

i feel like his love for food extends to the bedroom, and he would definitely swallow cum or spit for you if you asked him. he's open to try many things, and he's very sweet. honestly he just loves being happy with you, so just about anything is fine with him.

i love his smile and his laugh, and it's very contagious, so please make sure to make him do so often. he brightens up a room instantly.

sunwoo!

slut. slut for pain, slut for you, just a straight up slut. if he's committed to you and trusts you, he loves to be your kinky little bitch.

of course, he takes the spot of brat #3, but because he can't control himself, it won't take much torture before he begs for you to use him. he loves being degraded.

if you let him top you, you're getting railed, this boy has no self control, and just wants all the pleasure to himself. it's because of this that he's a master at eating you out when you ride his face. he wants to pleasure you as much as possible to get the best reward. he looks gorgeous with his hair all messy, his pillowy lips hitting all the right spots in and around your hole (or holes).

he's amazing with his tongue, and he's also very good at begging, knowing just what to say to make you give him what he wants. if you stand any chance of taming this brat, you'll need a lot of self control.

when you do give him what he wants, overstimulate him or milk him. take all of him and use him like the slut he is, he can't get enough of it. sex with sunwoo can and should be messy.

he also loves being spanked, and to see signs of your torture on his body, via rope burns, welts from a belt, red hot skin from your spankings, etc. he would also love mirror sex because of that. you should try making him hold eye contact with himself in the mirror as you absolutely wreck his body.

a/n: it won't let me post an eleventh gif here, and that is very homophobic. just use your imagination i suppose.💔

eric!

eric is a hopeless romantic, i'd definitely say he's a switch. i feel like your sex with him would be the most vanilla, but also the most loving and passionate out of all the members. both of you taking care of each other. he loves to catch your lips in gentle kisses.

he also likes his sex to be very clean, so you if you ride his face, take advantage of the fact you can make it messy. eric knows just how to please you whenever he's domming you, and loves to be taken care of when you're domming him as well.

your relationship with eric would really be furthered by sex, since he loves showing you affection. he thrives off the fact that he can trust you, and deeply appreciates that you reciprocate those feelings. if you're lucky, you might get to do some kinkier things with him, but i wouldn't exactly count on it.

[i-need-air]

"Dude" — Bakugou Katsuki x Reader [P.2]

Word count: 6.7k;

[ Part 1 ]; [ Masterlist ]

The new message plastered on your phonescreen earned a small smile from you. After a couple of days of sitting together at the same table due to Mei dumping your lonely ass for her babies, Mina suggested to text just to keep in contact more often. Something you did not expect was to be thrown in a group text with her and her friends.

They were absolutely hilarious; until recently they found out you had decent grades and started asking for your assistance, bugging you to join their study sessions, adding something about Bakugou being an absolute beast whenever he tutors them.

Pinky: Aww sucks that you're not coming! You're missing out Bakugou strangling Kaminari lmfao

You rolled your eyes in amusement. Why of course he'd be doing that.

What a strange little man. He really was; just as you started sitting with them, he'd mainly mind his own business, wearing his normal resting gremlin face and poking his food as if he was practicing murder just for the sake of it. First he orders you to sit with them, then he turns into an antisocial bastard most of the times. Yet, somehow, lunch with them was delightful and you found yourself looking forward to spend time with them, hear about their amusing stories and to top it all, making fun of The Great Bakugou Katsuki turned the whole event into a whole different level of fun.

As you weren't completely oblivious, his wandering eyes were really hard to miss anyway; you'd catch his gaze from time to time and he'd look away, annoyed, grunting like the man-child he actually was. Infuriating; how your heart skipped every single time it happened and how you wanted to have those deep crimson orbs on you again and again.

One thing you did not want to do was to leave Mei to the side; whenever she couldn't hang out she would inform you and you'd find something else to entertain yourself with; in occasions you did march in her workshop and sat your royal ass down without permission. Like as you did today, sitting in silence, you enjoyed the normal machinery sounds and her focused hums as she worked with you by her side. It was calming. The much needed calmness that you craved.

It's been a couple of weeks after the glorious incident and you have been noticing how your classmates, mostly the popular ones, started giving you the stink eye; your spidey-senses very much aware that it had to be Midori's doing yet the girl was keeping a very low profile. The hairs on the back of your neck rising whenever you thought about her next step because this level of radio silence was suspicious.

Between your growing interest into the blond and the dread related to your nemesis, Mei stopped her hard work to frown at you.

"Something's on your mind?" She probed, adjusting her goggles better on her head. "You're awfully quiet~"

Through a small giggle, you nodded but took some time to answer. "I guess?"

"Let me rephrase that." She cleared her throat dramatically "Someone's on your mind?"

A sharp gasp left your lips, realization kicking in; you had Hatsume Mei's full attention for the first time ever. In the workshop. Where her babies were! About to point it out, she narrowed her eyes at you, zooming onto you.

"[Y/N]." It's all she needed to say before you looked down, mind on one person in particular, not noticing how your friend smiled fondly to herself as she placed her hands on her hips; she chuckled lightly.

"Mind sharing what's funny with the class, Mei?" You asked trying to decrypt her expression still locked on you. She shrugged and shook her head, her wild pink locks moving wildly.

"OI, WERD—" the brash voice interrupted itself in reconsideration. The owner of said voice clicked his tongue and entered her workspace with indifference, looking around. "My gauntlets fixed?" He asked, curiously checking the lone couch in the corner, then turning his glare at her.

Ignoring his question, Mei's inquisitive gaze locked on him. "Are you looking for someone?"

It was as if she pressed a Total Destruction button because even the hairs on his head spiked up more than normally as he threw her a bloodshot glare.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I LOOK FOR [Y/N]?! I DON'T EVEN CARE WHERE—"

"I didn't mention [Y/N] at all though." she cheerily retorted, seeing his position stiffen even more.

"WHAT— WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT— WHO EVEN IS [Y/N]?!" Word-vomit took over; he was shaking at this point, panicked and cringing at his own mistake. "I'm SO FUCKING DONE with people giving me SHIT about that dumbass!" he kicked a table trying to prove a point but the girl was unimpressed.

"So you do know [Y/N]."

"YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU, GOGGLES! Fucking bothersome assholes always buttin' in—" his voice started fading into the distance as he walked out, fuming with nerves.

She blinked before screaming "What about your gauntlets?" through a smile.

"OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, GIVE ME—" he appeared once again, agitated.

A wave of lava filled your chest as she told you casually, even trying to copy the way he talked, making you laugh in exchange. You shouldn't feel that way, shouldn't you? It was ridiculous since he truly only insulted you and screamed in your general direction; well, it seems he screamed in every direction but it wasn't the point. The point was the warmth in your chest only gave you hope and the still functioning part of your brain begged to differ.

"He's a good guy." You whispered, suddently shy under Mei's knowing gaze.

And he called her Goggles too. You giggled fondly.

—

A few days later, wild gutural screams made you jolt from your desk in panic. You would've recognized that voice anywhere by now so you rushed towards the infirmary door just to find professor Aizawa and two cocoons made of his scarf behind him. His eyebrow was twitching and had a dark aura around him, eyes glowing menacingly but not directed to you.

"I'll fucking kill you—"

"But Kaccha—"

"Silence." The irritated and tired looking man said entering the room, dragging said cocoons behind him, knocking one in the door and pulling harder. You cringed, sure thinking he wasn't having a good day.

"OOF— What the shit was that?" The bundle started to shake uncontrollably which made you giggle. It stopped; halted and froze in place listening attentively as you tried to hide your laughter, trying not to annoy the teacher that seriously gave off a whole Done with life aura.

"You must be [L/N]." he pointed out, undoing one of the cocoons, a big fluffy broccoli like head appearing, big green eyes trying to focus.

"Yes, sir."

"They're beaten. Broken leg and broken rib. Can you heal them or should we wait for Recovery Girl?" The dark haired man went straight to business.

"I can handle that so no need to wait for her."

"Good. I'll leave them in your care." With a nod, he also released the blond, making him tumble and fall on his face. The poor guy groaned but bolted up with a raised fist.

"Behave." The older man said walking away, not really caring about Bakugou's heated muttering. The door shut gently and you found yourself looking at two boys; one fuming and avoiding your eyes, the other on the floor, staring up at you. His leg looked wonky so you fought back a face of discomfort before going to his aid.

"You." You pointed at Bakugou then at the bed. "Sit." A grin spread on your face as you used his words, meanwhile you leaned down to help Midoriya Izuku.

His eyes were absolutely intimidating, as if the boy tried to search within your soul as you helped him up.

"My name is [L/N] [Y/N] and I'm going to heal you today." He returned your smile with ease and nodded, his fluffy green hair shaking through the action.

"I'm—"

"Midoriya Izuku, yes. You're pretty popular, you know?" His face went all red, taken back by the fact.

Curses could be heard behind both; your hand was supporting Midoriya's weight as he only hopped ahead with his good leg, leaded towards a bed. Shuffling sounded too, still accompanied with another round of indistinguishable curses and grunts.

When the green-haired boy was securely placed, you turned towards the other, finding him sitting on the edge of the bed furthest away from Midoriya, pouting adorably.

"So you've got a broken rib, right?"

"What's it to you?" It was his turn to be a petty little shit and copy your words, still not looking up. His leg was shaking and his posture looked uncomfortable so it was not the time to get into your usual bickering.

"Lay down." He tsk-ed sharply. "Please." You pleaded, pursing your lips at his childish attitude. He finally snapped his eyes on you, just slightly widened in what could be surprise but you couldn't tell. All that mattered was that he ended up doing what you said. Though with more huffing, as if it bothered him immensely.

"Ya happy now?" He snapped.

"Very! Now—" you're taken back yet again by the intensity of those green eyes that looked between you and Bakugou with interest. "I'm gonna have to give you an anesthesic and adjust your leg back in place before healing you—"

Like a working bee, you ran around the infirmary getting your syringe ready, a little bit too nervous as two pair of eyes burned into your back.

"Where do you know each other from, Kacchan?" Izuku asked. Even if his leg hurt like a bitch, he couldn't help but be curious about the person Kacchan has been having lunch with for the past weeks; but what type of response could you get from the one and only?

"Mind your own damned fucking business!"

You sighed, irritated but the nickname didn't fly above your head. In all means, he shouldn't be screaming. He had a broken rib and he was screeching like an idiot. Didn't it hurt to even breathe?!

"Bakugou, you need to lay low and shut up."

There wasn't any time to play around; Midoriya behaved exemplary, just barely wincing at the syringe probing his knee but did not complain at all. The polar opposite of the blond beds away.

After letting the anesthetic to take effect, you moved towards the guy that's been living rent free in your head. He looked beaten up, had a bloody nose, open-wounded knuckles and shaky hands.

"Okay, I need you to relax." You whispered, trying to lift his tank-top but he stopped your wrist.

"The fuck yOu doing?!" his voice cracked momentarily while hyperventilating.

"Dude, take slow, steady breaths. In order to heal you I need to touch the skin closer to the wound." It wasn't entirely true but not exactly a lie either. After a pause for consideration he nodded but his eyes remained wary. "You've seen me do it before! Now show me where it hurts."

You needed concentration, focus, steady hands, rock-hard abs and tanned skin— Nooooo, [Y/N]!

All your might; all of it to act nonchalant and professional, to not fucking stare like a degenerate because he was absolutely built. But you couldn't help it. You couldn't help placing your palm on his ribs gently, instead of just the tip of your fingers as you normally would've needed. His sigh of relief made you incredibly giddy, feeling accomplished and fulfilled knowing you've done a great job for him. You also couldn't help healing his most visible wounds one by one instead of doing it all together in one single touch.

Were you flustered? Definitely and his attention only made it worse. You picked one of his hands and he spasmed away but ultimately gave in with a choked grunt; then grabbed the other and channeled your energy into his body.

Your heads were tilted downwards, both staring at how his knuckles healed slowly. What neither him or you noticed was how all his scratches and bruises all over him healed too, or the prying eyes of a third wheel that was already taking notes of your quirk.

"Okay." You whispered, not really wanting to let go. Your brain screamed Dishonor! but your heart skipped a beat, then another, then exploded when you lifted your gaze.

Crimson eyes looked at you in awe, wide and never this clear. They were shining too and you couldn't help but give his strong hands a squeeze, feeling in the calloused skin of his palm and wondered which one of you was shaking... He blushed then and opened his mouth, yet his brows furrowed as his focus shifted behind you.

"THE FUCK YOU STARING AT, PUNK?!"

Oh, yeah. Your other patient.

In a heartbeat you were by Midoriya's side and got to work, chest heavy and no words coming out of you. No snappy or cheeky retorts either, just trembling hands and warm cheeks. Only with murmurs you guided him through the procedure before healing him completely.

Dizziness overtook you; the downside of your quirk and something you've been training with Recovery Girl for the whole semester.

"That was amazing, [L/N]-san! Thank you!" The boy cheered, staring down at his leg in utter disbelief. His compliment made you grin, full and proud.

"Of course it was!" Your normal self surfaced.

"Fucking woo-hoo." Nevermind. Mood dropped and your face did too.

"Well, since you've been a good patient—" you start and ruffle through your bag "You get a lollipop!" Said candy was thrown in Midoriya's lap and he stared at it baffled. Meanwhile you turned towards the bane of your existence and raised a brow, shaking another lollipop in your hand. "You don't. This one is mine because I deserve it."

His angry, stupid and scandalized expression was everything you were looking for. Did you get out of your way to buy lollipops knowing Bakugou would end up in the infirmary sooner or later? Maybe. Was it worth it?

"What the fuck does that mean, dammit— I—" words caught in his throat as he choked with air, looking at the candy in your fingers with murderous intentions. Definitely worth it.

"Thank you?" Broccoli Boy asked but started unwrapping it, probably not to insult your kindness, and the whole interaction fueled Bakugou's anger. He snapped out of the bed and so did Midoriya, but one was marching towards you while the other just wanted to run away in fear, direction Exit.

"Gimme that shit!" He tried to grab it out of your grasp, but you moved away, laughing at his face.

"Midoriya has been nice and thanked me for the healing—" at this point he was boiling. "Say Thank you, [Y/N], you're amazing and awesome and—"

"LIKE FUCKING HELL IMMA SAY THAT, DUMBASS!" he was so sweet, the guy you liked; yeah, your sudden realization hit as he looked like a tomato ready to bite your head off and the only thing you could think was how adorable and sweet he was. All gurgling in rage, spitting cussed words left and right; dreamy, he was dreamy. He caught the lollipop from your hands, his scowl turning into a full blown victorious grin. So shiny... so bright... God, he was so handsome...

You're suddently falling in his arms in slow-motion, the world around you twisting and turning with him in the center of it all. Warmth engulfed your frame as you hit the most comfortable pillow of your life. His chest.

"Oi, [Y/—" he cursed, taking no time to place you on the bed with ease. "You okay?"

"W-What happened? Is she okay?" It seemed the famous Deku decided to remain for the spectacle.

"Get lost!"

Even if you wanted to pass out, his snaps wouldn't let you and with that thought you chuckled breathlessly. "I'm fine, I just need a nap after healing this much..." you assured into the air.

"Will you be okay, [Y/N]-san?" You turned your head until you spotted him and nodded through a smile but someone else answered for you.

"I see you took matters in your own hands." The sweet, gentle voice of your mentor put you to ease but scared poor Midoriya to the core as she appeared behind him at the door. Bakugou was still hovering over you in bed, not really knowing what to do. "You should leave [L/N] rest, boys." With tiny steps she walked around, not really paying any more attention to the scene.

The blond gave you a glance and pursed his lip, analyzing the candy in his hand. Through half-lidded eyes you saw him secure it in his fist and give you a nod. At this point everything was blurry.

"Thanks... or whatever." He didn't waste any time to bolt towards the door, his broad uncovered shoulders were the last thing you saw before closing your eyes in contempt.

"Kacchan, is [Y/N]-san your—?"

"MIND YOUR GODDAM—" the door shut close, making the room tremble and you giggled like a drunk fool.

—

Bakugou walked with his hands in his pockets, looking around with little interest as Dunce Face and Racoon Eyes blabbered without pause to breathe. Fuck, he was exhausted and the concept of shoving food down his throat sounded fucking fantastic. His insides turned and twisted knowing you'd be meeting them soon.

"Yo, isn't that [Y/N]?" Like a flash, his head bolted in the direction Denki pointed at and before he spotted you, the blond already wanted to punch himself in the jaw. Why the fuck is he acting like that? The answer faded in his mind as the scene unfolded in front of him.

—

"You're such a fucking bitch, you know that, [Y/N]?" Arms crossed, you placated the poor first year that was whispering behind you.

"Wow, Midori, so original." With a dead tone and rolling eyes from you, the white haired demon only twisted her face in disgust. "My feelings are hurt."

"Who do you think you are? You're a fucking nobody, [Y/N]! You think you're doing any good here? Go kill yourself!"

"And give you the satisfaction? No, not happening, you fork-tongued lizard." Your nails looked interesting.

Her pale purple eyes got ignited and her diminute frame puffed, like a rabid little mole-rat ready to bite someone. And just like that, she took a deep breath and started yapping and barking. "YOU'RE BETTER DEAD ANYWAY, YOU WHORE! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! NOW EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT ME! ABOUT HOW YOU STOLE HIM FROM ME! DIE ALREADY!"

Sadly you didn't have any cookies on since you definitely felt like shoving one in her fanged, venomous mouth and patting her head for the effort. Your lips turned oh, so slowly into a grin, enjoying her reaction way too much.

"That's nice. Now can you like, I don't know, go back to making potions with your coven or some crap? Leave the kid alone—"

"This pathetic little shit was talking about me! ME!" her screech hurt your ears so you covered them before you turned to the kid to just see him standing there, petrified.

"Did you try to summon Satan and she appeared instea—?"

"I'M SO FUCKING DONE WITH YOUR CRAP, YOU—" she pushed you but grasped your uniform, a ripping sound following. "UGLY—" nothing prepared you to get attacked by her. "FAT—" she raised her palm. "WHORE!"

No way in hell you were going to back down, instead you clenched your jaw and got ready to block it and finish the fight. She never remotely attended to hit you in a somewhat public place as she was a careful witch, always brewing something in that rotten brain of hers and making sure to keep her sweet appearance on point for the public.

You blinked.

"That was insane!"

The scenery in front of you suddently changed with that one single blink and a tall blond mass of muscle just popped out of nowhere. It knocked the air out of your lungs for a moment and seeing him staring down at her with such hatred, holding her wrist high in the air made you feel immense relief, much to your own surprise.

Were you that tense before?

"Midori-chan, I didn't know you were this rotten." Kaminari appeared in your field of vision too but got ignored by the girl. Her only goal was to free herself from Bakugou's grip but he wouldn't bulge.

"Y-You got it all wrong, Bakugou-s-san!"

Everyone stood there silent, utterly disgusted with her attempt to even try to twist reality.

"Don't even fucking think about it." He warned and those words rumbled deep, threat held within.

"We heard it all, Midori." You shook in place, twisting to see Mina by the kid's side, patting his back. After being used to seeing her easy-going attitude it was only natural to be amazed by her somber tone and serious manner.

Why were you so relieved? kept creeping in your mind. Why?

He then threw her wrist out of his grasp and bared his teeth in her direction, globes so bloodshot scrutinizing her. He oozed rage and fury and was combusting in place. But he did not scream. Bakugou Katsuki did not scream for once when he started talking, instead he growled his words, each with care and clarity.

"If i ever fucking hear you talking like that to anyone ever again I will— fucking— break you." you could hear his teeth grit, the sound making you shiver both in terror and excitement. "NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE! I BETTER NOT FUCKING SEE YOU OR HEAR ABOUT YOU EVER AGAIN!" she yelped, fluttering her tears away and scurrying so fast it could've been comical.

Bakugou then spun to study you, chest raising and falling heavily. You couldn't descypher his appearance at the moment; there was the aggravation, the outrage, the burning flame in his orbs but also... Uncertainty? Guilt? Shame? It wiped off his face before you could figure it out.

"We're taking him to talk to a professor about what happened." Mina's voice faded in the distance. He nodded at Kaminari, who was behind you, and got a nod in response plus a pair of thumbs up, and with that they were gone.

He still tried to control himself, but as soon as you parted your lips to say anything at this point, he snarled into the nothingness. "THAT FUCKING BITCH—"

"Bakugou..."

"FOR HOW LONG?" he then screamed at you, malice gone but tone just as rough and loud.

"For how long what?" You said calmly while also noticing and adjusting the ripped sleeve of your uniform. He ran his palm over his face, eyeing it too.

"For how fucking long has this been going?"

"Oh, her—" there was this pressure to say it out loud, to confirm what it really was, like saying it out loud would give it weight, importance...

"Her bullshit, yeah." he didn't force it either, thankfully.

"Since we were in middle-school." you shrugged, chest and neck aching without an apparent reason. You cleared your throat.

"Stop that— Stop that fucking shit. Don't do that." He got close to you in a single step and you had to look up at him, feeling so small out of a sudden by his side. You smiled, as you taught yourself to do whenever things got tough.

"Do what?" It came out shaky, too shaky for your own taste but he was so close.

"Act like it doesn't fucking matter! Like it's no big fucking deal!" His breath fanned your face.

"I mean..." you started shrugging again but he stopped the action, palms holding your shoulders in place as he gave you a pissed off look. "It doesn't really matt—"

"YES, IT FUCKING DOES!"

His fingers held you in the spot as he inspected your features with a clenched jaw and classic furrowed brow. Flames erupted in your ribcage at his words and you couldn't even breathe anymore.

You licked your lips, not sure if you could say the next words but the fact that he focused on the action too attentively gave you the push needed. "What's it to you?"

His breath hitched, fanning over your face as he stiffened. Deep crimson waved between your own orbs and your lips—

Those flames? The flames that burned your inside? They were spreading throughout your body rapidly, the epicenter at the spot where his thumb caressed your skin at the edge of your shoulder, just touching the start of your collarbone. Even through the layer of fabric you felt it, as tiny as it was, but he did not do anything, just stood there with red tinted cheeks in daze. Much like you were.

"Thank you for saving me today, Bakugou." You whispered and he just nodded, still enthralled with your lips. At least you knew he was somewhat still there with you. Involuntarily, you bit your lower lip, just a little, smiling softly, taking the smallest step towards him; the corner of his lip turned up slightly—

"[Y/N]! Director Nezu wants to talk to you too!"

The spell was broken; you yelped into him, grabbing his shirt for support and checked your surroundings. A waving hand caught your attention; Kaminari was signaling you to go to him then froze and started running away; little did you know someone was sending him a death glare.

You cleared your throat, still warm and fuzzy from head to toe and separared from the blond that caught you in his arms. Bakugou seemed to have noticed the position too because he jerked away a step back and looked completely out of place.

Ridiculous. And hilarious, looking anywhere but you and still made no attempt to move. Neither did you, instead opting to hide a giggle.

Because you felt warm, tingly, all while he was a complete gremlin, sweet in his own personalized way, in which he cared for you, he defended you.

And you're in disbelief because how come this guy, this adorable, blushing porcupine with anger issues made you feel so soft and fragile? How did you end up in this situation and how can you stay in it forever?

"What's so fucking funny, hah?" There wasn't any bite to what could've been an aggressive wording, just hidden tenderness. He fought a smile too and had the audacity to try to act annoyed. Sadly, you had to go, so you shook your head and took a step back.

Bakugou understood, so he nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'll see how later, ok?" You promised and he glanced at you from the corner of his eye. Now you had his ear in full view for you to see the tips reddened too. You want to melt, even coo at the sight, but you really did have to go. However, you couldn't leave without sending him a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, whatever." His jaw sinked a little in the collar of his shirt as he stomped away too.

—

The whole afternoon was spent talking to a counselor and to the principal himself about a problematic individual. The first year student was encouraged by your new friends to report it as they escorted him to safety and soon an internal investigation started; maybe, possibly because of you.

Why were you so relieved?

Because they listened to you. Because they believed you. Because you didn't have to prepare yourself every single morning to take verbal hits from all directions. Because you've been given a voice, unlike your old school where everything was brushed off; "It's your word against hers" and much more bullshit. No, this time was real and they proved it by listening to every single word you said.

You were dropped at your dorms just before 9 P.M. and it was too late to meet anyone at the point. But it wasn't important; the moment you landed on your bed a smile broke on your face, a few tears fell and you had the best sleep in forever.

—

The air changed. The aura around your class switched. Midori was clearly missing, which instantly turns a bad day into a fantastic one, but it wasn't only that. Students were called, one by one, again and again interrupting class and took hours to come back. Meanwhile the Divas in particular looked concerned, another great view to enjoy now and until the rest of time.

It was obvious why this was happening and you never felt this much peace and satisfaction. Even so, you started to feel overwhelmed because people suddently started greeting you. The people that weren't in Midori's toxic and constricted entourage.

They said your name! Without hatred! The school's goldenboy's name, Kaminari Denki, was dropped again and again too. It seems he just casually started mentioning what he witnessed the day before and you suddently felt the need to hug him tight. Gossip spread like wild fire thanks to him, after all.

Maybe you fell into a parallel universe but you couldn't bring yourself to care, you just waltzed on the hallways after the bell rang, wanting to go get some food, then hide at Mei's workshop for some recharging. Another part of you wanted to meet the explosive boy too, though.

In all honesty, it didn't matter where you ended. You were in an incredible mood.They talked to you and it was exhausting but nice!

Was this what it felt in horror movies when the demon-child with rotating head and projectile vomit was finally exorcized? Was the curse really released for good?

As you floated in the skies, high on life and what-not, you turned the corner just to run nose straight into a wall. Your brain decided to take a break for the day, it seems, and you genuinely hoped nobody saw you march head first into— It wasn't a wall, but a boy that gave you a raised brow and narrowed eyes.

"Watch where the fuck you're going, dumbass."

"Great to see you too!" you chippered, walking around him, knowing for a fact his attitude wouldn't be able to piss you off—

"What's with the idiotic expression?" Nevermind, he can go fuck himself. Yet you smiled because you're a Godsend angel and that's what winged saints do.

"Just really happy." You shrugged, walking away with ease and tried to bite a bigger smile off your face when you noticed him turning to walk with you. "What are you doing on this side of the campus?" You inquired.

"Came to walk you to lunch or whatever." Well, damn, that made you halt in surprise. He's behind you, staring out the window with disinterest but froze when he saw your dumbfounded face. "WHAT? IT WAS IN MY WAY, OK? Want me to leave? I can leave! You can fuck off—" You placated your hands and started laughing.

"No, no—" Your eyes glint. "It's really sweet of you." You said, awaiting his reaction with mischief.

He first choked on air, like one normally does, and then showed the worst allergic reaction to mere words. "SW—! THAT'S NOT— I'M NOT— YOU— I— NO—" in no time you're crackling like a deranged witch, adoring every single second of the show he was pulling. He was basically howling and your laughter actually infuriated him more.

"FUCK OFF!" Your amusement calmed down as you studied him, his puffed cheeks, red eyes avoiding you; with a few stomped steps he placed himself ahead of you but made no attempt to stand you up and go be a hermit somewhere else.

Bakugou Katsuki. Ash blond hair, broad back, pink ears... Swears like a sailor, is all bark and and all bite, except with his friends. Has a big heart...

"Something strange is happening." You find yourself saying.

"Hah?" He glances back.

"People have been acting weird." That stops him.

"They better not be fucking messin' with you—"

"No, on the contrary, they're nice to me..." you assured, voice faint as his comment repeated in your mind and your chest warmed up once again because of him.

They better not be fucking messin' with you.

"Good." He says and you can't bite your tongue.

"You're a good guy, Bakugou."

He gives you a face. "Hah? Now you fucking notice?!" But he's grinning at the end of the sentence, cocky and so full of himself and you'd lie if you said you didn't consider him incredibly handsome. Although it seems he did not get the message.

"No. I mean it for real. You really are a good guy." He grunts like he hurt himself in his own confusion, staring stupidly at you, slightly blushing. "You're gonna be such a great hero too." Mouth agape to try to answer, he just gives you plate eyes and nothing else. On the other hand you genuinely expected more explosive reactions but this seemed to have broken him for some good seconds. He stared and watched and stood there like an idiot in front of you, making you want to both bury yourself in your own embarrassment and laugh at him.

You opted to look up at the ceiling, flustered and amused, yesterday's events suddently washing over you; they never really left your thoughts but now all the feelings decided to come visit once again.

"Oi—" he better not ruin it. "Wh— The fuck you kissing my ass for?!" You breathe out, long and loud for him to understand how stupid he sounded and stalked ahead; only food could save the day he's been actively ruining and that's what you were gonna get. He followed your rushed steps with cusses and questions until he grabbed your wrist to slow your pace. "Slow down, dumbass!"

The issue was that his obnoxiously loud voice caught then attention of some students that were just minding their own business.

"Is that Bakugou Katsuki?" Earning a groan from him as if it wasn't his fault!

"—with [L/N] [Y/N]?"

"Are they holding hands?!"

"So they're really together?" You cringe in embarrassment.

"Is that a confession?!" No, no, absolutely not happening. You rush out of the scene, gut burning, the boy on your toes cursing and mumbling whatevers but you didn't reach far until he talks. At least he had the decency of stopping you at an empty spot before giving you a heart attack.

"This is when you confess— or some fucking— dumb shit like that." Even without seeing him, back turned and absolutely petrified, you heard the cocky vibration in his tone that was sprinkled with some light stuttering.

Son of a bitch. That prinkly ass cocky fuck. That absolutely handful of a sea urchin—

You checked the closest stairway, your nearest exit and pathway to your salvation but something in that attitude of his just made you shake as you covered your face and laugh.

"You're... You're the worst." You mumble in disbelief but the grin that almost broke your face got even bigger as he choked and inhaled sharply.

"Hah?! Wasn't I the fucking best a minute ago?!"

"I did not say tha—"

"Same shit!" He bites when you glanced on him through your fingers. Your skin was burning so hot it would've been mortifying if he didn't look just as rattled. The view managed to calm your nerves and spike them at the same time.

"You're the worst..." Finally uncovering your face, he takes in your grin and visibly calms his fuming yet remains just as discomposed. "—and I like you."

Still, you cover your mouth because the blond in front of you started combusting and it was glorious to watch. Hell, you felt like grabbing a snack and watching him go through all those feelings that slapped his face on repeat. First his eyes widened, the teasing from before forgotten, then his skin, already splashed with red transformed completely into the same color, so deep it in resemblance with his eyes, eyes that were reading into you intensely. He went rigid too and as time passed and passed and he did not move, the only thing left was to break him out of his misery. Yes, break him.

"This is when you say it back."

He snapped. "I— DON'T FUCKING— DON'T FUCKING MAKE ME SAY EMBARRASSING SHIT LIKE THAT!" Birds flew away in one mile radius, windows trembled, your eardrums cried for mercy and you hid your smile because even through deafening volume, Bakugou Katsuki did not deny it. A zoo totally high on crystal meth started a revolution in your insides and the feeling threatened to burst out at any moment.

This is it. This ball of emotional constipation was taking your breath away while cussing you after you confessed and all you wanted to do was to squeal... What have you become?

But you said nothing, just stared with your hand covering your mouth, taking in the boy that looked like he wanted to throw fists with you, bared teeth and all, and also simultaneously die of a stroke.

"I—" he tried, you had to give him credit because he really did try. Like a challenge, like he wasn't going to back down, he gave his best and not without looking like it killed him inside. "F—" cuss word got stuck in his throat when you couldn't help a scoff. Suddently the show comes to an end when he halts, gives you a glare and takes a deep breath. For a moment you feared he'd walk away. Oh, how wrong you were because deep down you had to know he did not back down easily.

"I like— you, too." Beautiful words came out of his mouth, looking like it physically pained him to say them. "THERE, I SAID IT! YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW?!" He howls indignantly, crossing his arms, trying to hide his clear flustered self yet it takes him one glance at you to return to his self induced stroke. "Don't fucking make that dumb fucking face—" he struggled to exist. "Don't look at me like that, dammit!"

You giggle, relieved and happy and in all honesty about to cry a tiny bit. You couldn't help it, enamored with how blissful this moment was. Bakugou stops his grunts and watches you in awe, small, minuscule grin taking over his face and he clicks his tongue, trying to fight it.

And deflects, as always.

"C'mon. Have to walk you there before you get lost or some shit like that." You breathe in and nod, even thought you were perfectly capable of walking to the cafeteria as you've done it for a year and some now.

"Okay."

"You'd be starving if it weren't for me." You snort and roll your eyes, but beam like a lovestruck idiot.

"Sure thing, dude." It instantly earns a grunt, then a pout, followed by grumbles and heavy feet by your side. You check on him, noticing his shrugged shoulders and tinted nose and you almost trip with your own legs because of it. He doesn't say anything for the longest time, which you didn't mind as you yourself needed some time to shoo away the butterflies and rainbows that floated all around in your very empty head. It wasn't until you almost reached the cafeteria that he stops you by the arm and looks away.

"You— You shouldn't call your boyfriend dude, dumbass."

Remember the butterflies? Now they're radioactive and fluttering around, crazed and disoriented.

"Says the one that calls me a dumbass, Bakugou." You relent, thankful he took the initiative to answer the question that lingered in the air throughout all the walk.

A wild flush takes over him and he refuses to turn toward you, just observing from the corner of his eyes.

"It's— It's Katsuki to you, dumbass." And he drags you inside without giving you a chance to process it. But when you do, you grin like mad and whisper just as you were manhandled through the door, preparing yourself for his explosive gargling and screaming and silently apologizing to everyone in your general proximity.

"Okay, Kacchan~"

Note: Thank you for reading and for any sweet mesages! I read each and every one of them and they make me so incredibly happy!! I would like to point out that the phone editor switches around paragraphs and it's very confusing. I edited some mistakes and for now it's good but I'm scared it wasn't fixed since I edited before too and I encounter the same problem again... If you find something off, could you please let me know? I want the reading to be enjoyable for everyone after all. Thank you again! 💕

[ellana-ravenwood]

Can the Batman get flustered ? - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : Batman has a reputation of always being impassive. Of being very in control of his emotions. But of course, you being his wife, you know his secrets and weak spots... And apparently, sending him dirty texts while you guys are in public definitely works very well to fluster him /Drabble-Minific.

You know that Tik Tok trend where people send a dirty text to their s/o while they’re in public ? I don’t know why I find it so funny and all, but today during my lunch break I was scrolling through the app and fell on a few of those and...boom. This story was born haha. Written in half an hour while I was eating pasta, I hope you’ll like it nonetheless :

TW : SLIGHTLY Nsfw. I mean. The subject itself is “dirty texts” so ya know haha. No actual texts will be shown, but insinuation will. 

My master list : @ella-ravenwood-archives​

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                                                    ******

Not amused. 

One. Two. Three. Fo-

Here it goes. 

He hears the little “beep” of his phone, notifying him that he just received a text.

Not any text though. 

A text from a family member. It was a very specific “beep”, for when one of his kids, you, or Alfred were sending him a text. 

You’re a little disappointed he changed the alert sound back to that boring “beep” it has always been.

You rather liked, when Jason pranked him and instead put a recording of himself saying “dingityding motherfucker, ya got a message from one of us”. 

It wasn’t very tasteful for sure, and yeah, you probably shouldn’t’ve found it so funny...But solely for the face your husband and the people he was talking to made, it was all worth it. 

So what if you were nodding along to Bruce’s sermon as he was scolding your son, while simultaneously, when your husband wasn’t looking, giving two thumbs up to Jason ? 

Anyway. Here was the family “beep”. And here it goes.

A smile to the people he was talking to meaning : “Apologies, I have to take this.” as he takes his phone out of his pocket. 

Not that it surprised anyone. He was Bruce Wayne, a busy billionaire who owned multiple enterprises and who was constantly on the move to something new. His phone ringing wasn’t exactly something special. 

Him answering during a conversation wasn’t either. 

Not only did he have the reputation of being a rather busy bee, but he was also  known as quite a protective father. His children were not present at the gala that night, meaning any calls or texts could be an emergency from them. 

Of course, nobody even suspected himbo Bruce Wayne to be the scary Batman, so no one could quite understand how worried Bruce could get about his kids. Yet Bruce Wayne has been a family man long enough by then for everyone to know he was a “doting father”. 

The fact he always protected them from too much media coverage, or how angry he would get when someone would be a little too chummy with them purely by interest...

You always found it sweet. 

That he cared so much about his family that even those not knowing him at all, even those only seeing his “Brucie Wayne” persona (minus the Playboy side he gave up long ago when deciding to make it official with you) noticed.

Of course, you knew he wasn’t always the perfect father. Or husband. But the fact he always tried so hard, and no matter what, always cared so much (maybe even too much ?) made everything worth it. 

Ah, but today wasn’t about how sometimes, it was a little difficult to be Batman’s wife. 

Today, it was about how fun it could actually be. 

Like right now, as he excused himself and took his phone out to see what the text he just received said. 

He was reading it now. And suddenly...

His eyes widened, his face turned a light shade of red, he hurriedly hid his phone’s screen, and cough a little to hide how hot he suddenly felt. 

“Are you alright, Bruce ?” 

One of the man he was talking to asked, and with an awkward smile (very unlike him), he answered : 

“Yes, yes everything is ok. Haha. The um, the children.” 

The man nods, and says something like : “Aaah children, never cease to worry us right ?” and Bruce chuckles. Of this utterly fake chuckle only you knew was fake. 

His real laugh sounded nothing like that. 

A few more seconds pass, before Bruce excuses himself, saying he has to go check something, and...Finally. 

Finally, his eyes are searching for you. 

Finding you easily amongst everyone else. 

His slight frown, his rosy cheeks who would stay this color for a little while still, and the way he walked towards you with incredible resolve...How adorable. 

“I bet you find this funny, mm ?” 

“No idea what you’re talking about, dear.” 

Your small smile is infuriating. And oh, oh how Bruce wished he didn’t love it as much as he did. Oh how he wished he could actually be mad at you for sending him such a thing, in such a public place.

“You need to stop doing that.” 

“Doing what, exactly ?” 

“Sending me -he lowers his voice and continues- sending me those, things.” 

“Things ?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” 

You smile at him, coyly. But he can see the mischievous spark in your eyes. And he scoffs, frustrated that you always seem to easily get to him. 

Nobody does that. Only you. 

Sure, his kids will sometimes get under his skin just for the sake of it. Or could have rather hurtful words if they weren’t feeling well. But he was always able to control his emotions in those cases. 

The Batman was always so impassive. He always looked so in control of his emotions. And Bruce worked for years and years to achieve this. To be able to hide it all deep within him, to pretend he’s not feeling anything, and stay neutral. 

But you...You always burned through his very being. Wether it was because you smiled at him, or send him a rather dirty text in the middle of a crowded charity ball, as he was talking to some of the most powerful people in Gotham. 

Oh. Oh this was a treat. A flustered Bruce. It wasn’t often, you could get him like that. And it was such a treat. 

He can see you’re enjoying this. And passed the initial shock of you telling him such dirty things in your texts, he can see how funny and rather sexy this entire thing could be. 

If only, if only he could control his emotions when around you. 

But he can’t. He can’t because he loves you too much. And because you know exactly how to play him (to be fair, he also knew exactly how to play you, and could drive YOU crazy if he wanted to, too...each had a turn, you guess). 

He bites the inside of his lips, as he usually does when he’s slightly amused, yet a bit annoyed. Yes. That was a mood that was fairly frequent with Bruce. Especially when it came to you. 

You always knew exactly which buttons to push to rile him up, to fluster him, to exasperate him to no end, too. 

And when he bit the inside of his lips, it was when he felt a mix of amusement, and annoyance. 

To be honest, that was exactly what you were looking for to get out of him. 

And sending him a dirty text in public always worked. You loved, the flustered way he reacted. The flushed cheeks, the blabbering and how it took him a little bit to regain countenance while usually it’d only take him a few seconds to hide his feelings. 

You smile at him again, happy you still have any effect on him and...

Ah. And there it was. Passed the initial shock of receiving such a text, and the slight annoyance at you trying to fluster him...the smile. A genuine and soft smile. One only always directed at you. One that showed you, and everyone around, just how much Bruce Wayne loved you. 

He throws an arm around your waist, and says : 

“So. Should we get out of here ?” 

“I thought you’d never ask.” 

Another smile. Genuine. Making everything worth it. 

The hardships, but also this sort of simple moments. 

When Bruce Wayne could act like a “normal” man, and get flustered as his wife send him sexy texts while they were in public, and very crowded places. 

Bruce smiles at you. Genuinely. Yes. You could always get to him. And, frankly, even if he loved to complain about it...He wouldn’t have it any other way. 

And now ? Now he was definitely ready to go try out what you suggested in that god forsaken text. 

Why do you chose such moment do to this ?! 

One. Two. Three. Fo-

Like clockwork.

He was in an important business meeting, but everyone here recognized that special “beep”, the one Jason oh so loved to change up to ridiculous things. 

It was even worst lately, as he started a “game” with his siblings : “Whoever can get their hands on dad’s phone and replace all his notification sounds with something stupid, wins”. Needless to say, your children’s competitive side was driving your husband crazy. 

It was rather funny, to watch him, each mornings as he was getting ready to leave for work, getting slightly unnerved as he made sure his alarms hadn’t been changed (your children could be sooooo sneaky).  

Tim won, when he slyly and sneakily replaced the “beep” with...that same “beep” a few times, as to not make his father suspicious, only for, after the third “beep”, the phone screaming the main theme from the “Barbie : Thumbelina” movie. Damn.

Your kids were geniuses. 

It was hilarious, to see your husband’s face suddenly turning pale. 

Ah but your children, all genius that they were, were still amateurs. 

They couldn’t get him to feel as mortified as you could, when you pulled this particular little trick on him...

Annoying him ? Making him feel embarrassed for a few seconds ? Exasperating him to no end ? That, they were always good at. But he would always regain his countenance fast. 

But what you did ? Haha. Aaah it would stay on his mind for long after the event, and would most definitely...Fluster him. 

Flustered. 

Not a state the great Bruce Wayne was in often. 

And most of the time, you were the source of the “flustering”. 

Like right now, as he was in an important meeting, and heard his phone “beep”. 

The “family beep”. 

Unfortunately for him, it was one of “those texts”. That you just send because well, maybe you were a little evil ? Maybe you liked, to fluster him when he was in public ? To show people he was actually human ? 

He looked at his phone, straightened up in his chair and...Of course, he guessed that you must be around. 

And there you were indeed. Right outside the room.

He quickly glanced at you through the glass walls of the conference room. 

You saw him readjust his pants, and you knew you definitely got to him today. But his reaction wasn’t that grand. Maybe he had um...A little “pants being too tight” problem, but it was clear he could easily hide it. And he got hold of his face rather fast. 

Still, it was very entertaining, how clearly bothered he was. How unable to focus on the meeting he was. Only you though, who knew him better than anyone else, would notice the shift in his behavior. 

It wasn’t enough, though. And he wasn’t looking at you anymore. That wouldn’t do. 

You decided to give him the coup de grace and slipped to the restroom to um...Take a nice picture of yourself, let’s say that. 

You went back to wait outside the conference room, where you’d have a GREAT view of him. And of his reaction. That was certainly going to be...Something. 

“Beep”. The family “beep”. 

It’s uncanny, how Bruce never suspects you’re going to trick him TWICE in a row. He should though. You often do it. 

Ah but his fatherly instincts always get the best of him, and when he hears that specific “beep”, he can’t stop but look. In case anyone needs him. 

He should really find a “beep” just for you, shouldn’t he ? Then again, even then, even with the knowledge that you LOVE to send him dirty text while he’s in public, he’d still jump on the notification. Just in case something happened, you know ? 

Nothing happened today. Well. Except for your little restroom trip. 

He barely takes a look at the photo you send him, that his eyes widen, he spits the drink he was taking all over the papers in front of him, and he slams his phone screen first on the table (shattering it in the process).

“Um...are you okay, mister Wayne ?” 

His associates and employees are concerned. For good reasons. And Bruce hastily tries to dry his paperwork, and apologize saying it’s nothing, that they’re all doing a great job and to continue, please. 

They do. Writing this incident off as yet another one of their boss’ eccentricities (as far as they were concerned, there were lots of them). 

And you are LIVING. It’s always nice, you can get such reaction out of him. 

He looks at you again. And as the meeting went on, for ten more excruciating minutes, he kept looking at you, although he tried really hard to focus on what was being said. 

Oh well. He’d ask Lucious for a recap. 

His eyes also kept going to his shattered phone, playing that photo over and over in his head...Finally, the meeting was over, and he rushed out. 

No one was surprised, they all saw you waiting patiently (haha) outside. They all liked “Mrs. Wayne”, you were nice, and always lifted their boss’ spirit. 

And they knew that when you were around, it was usually to pick him up. So yes. It wasn’t a surprised when he hastily said goodbye, and went to you. 

“You need to stop doing that !” 

You don’t even bother answering, smiling at him in a mischievous almost evil way. And you kiss him on the lips. A simple, very chaste peck. That light his heart on fire. 

It’s crazy, the effect you have on him. No matter how much he tries to keep himself in check. Of course, he has the same effect on you. And to be honest, he flusters you much more than you fluster him. 

After all, rare are the perfect occasions to send him dirty texts in moments that will fluster him. If you did it in any other time, he’d just smile and immediately go to you. Or answer with an equally heated text (when he was away, sexting was totally a thing). 

More often than not, he was the one in control. Oh but when you could get to him...When you could get to him, you REALLY got to him. And if anyone else would notice how truly flustered he got, they wouldn’t recognize him. 

But you knew him. You knew how sweet and soft he could be. How many people had the wrong ideas of him. And how adorable it was, when you got him all hot and bothered in that way. 

How, no matter how much he tried, you always got to him, during those moments. And how much it meant. 

How much it meant. 

It meant that you were his only one. That nobody understood him more than you. And that honestly, no matter how annoyed, flustered and such he would get...he was just always feeling a little happy nonetheless. 

Yes. 

It meant a lot, that you knew him that well. And that only you, with a few well placed words, could fluster him so. 

In the Watchtower.

This was rather dangerous. 

Which added even more spices to everything. 

Not that usually, it wasn’t “dangerous”. So far, you did it to him while he was in a meeting, at a gala, not far from many paparazzis...

There had always been a sort of danger, to you sending this kind of texts to him while in public. 

But today...Ah today there was even more. 

Because today, you guys were in the Justice League’s watchtower. 

And there were MANY people, in that place, that could easily take a peak at what Bruce had on his phone. And that would NEVER leave it down that the Batman was receiving such filth from his wife. 

That’s why you did it. And also because that very same morning, Bruce had been a little too grumpy and unpleasant, and you wanted to take a little revenge on him. 

It was rare, really, that he would be a jerk to you or his kids nowadays. But sometimes. Just sometimes...Well. He wasn’t a perfect being. He had many flaws. And he could be a bit of a dick, at times. Even to you and your children. 

Hence, the well deserved little revenge you were about to get (not that you really needed a reason to want him flustered...but here, with all your superhero friends, it was a particular treat). 

One. Two. Three. Fo-

“Beep”. The specific family one. 

Batman was sitting at the tip of the meeting table. You were sitting a few seat from him, a wide evil grin already plastered on your face. And all your best friends were around the table, discussing plans to secure Earth a little more from intergalactic attack. 

“Excuse me for a minute.” 

Your husband says. And no one is surprised. They all recognize the “family beep”. And despite the reputation he dragged for years, they also all know what his family means to him... 

Clark is right there, slowly leaning towards Bruce, and you know he’s about to ask if the kiddos are alright. Turns out, Clark Kent is an amazing uncle. And friend. He worries a lot about “y’all”, very often. 

And oh, oh this was going to be fun. 

At the very moment Bruce’s eyes see your name on his phone, and what is the content of your text, his eyes widen, turn to Clark and...

“What the hell Bruce ?” 

Your husband, by pure instinct, shoved Clark’s face away, while at the same time hiding his phone in his pocket again.

Clark could’ve avoided it easily, you knew. But he probably wasn’t really expecting the Batman to get weirdly panicky and shove him away like that ? 

“You were-...Too close.” 

Bruce says a bit abruptly, trying really hard to hide how worked up he feels after he read what you send him. He avoids your look like the plague, and pretends as if this little incident didn’t happen, returning to discussing plans. 

The incident passed fast, and although Clark was a bit sour about it, he didn’t ask further. He guessed yes, he was a little too close ? He just wanted to be sure whoever send the text was alright. 

And oh. Oh that whoever was definitely alright. 

Because it was you. And this entire scene unfolded to your utter delight. Bruce abruptness and such was very much like him to all his friends. But you...You saw beyond that. 

You saw how rosy his cheeks got under his mask. And how his eyes kept wandering to you, even as he was working on something very important. 

You saw how truly flustered he got. So flustered in fact, that he couldn’t think of a clever way out of why he shoved his friends away, but that he was “too close”. 

A little unlike Bruce. 

Or was it really ? Was it truly unlike him, or just unlike the idea so many people had of him ? Because you...

You knew the real Bruce. And sometimes, he could be clumsy and shy and stumble on his words. He could be awkward and cute, all flustered and blushy. 

He could be...He was so many things. 

And so many sides of him were absolute secrets. Secrets only you and your children knew. 

You were privy to the most secret parts of him. 

The adorable ones that would get flustered by a dirty text send in public. 

But also the very sexy one that would later act upon it...

He could act annoyed, embarrassed and like he was mad at you all he wanted. You knew he secretly LOVED it, when you took this kind of risk. 

And oh. Oh how you knew. 

Really ?! In front OF MY SALAD ?!

It was a “family and friends” barbecue. One of those occurrences that happen very rarely, when your entire circle of close friends and family is free. 

One of those very rare occurrences where you could all meet up, and have a relaxing time. Today, a barbecue. 

The summer heat was heavy, and you couldn’t help but smile as you looked at your kids and Clark’s son, Jon, playing in the pool. 

Jason and Jon were having a fight against Tim and Damian, and you weren’t sure it was a very fair one...Up until Tim kicked his brother in the nuts, and Jason fell in the water, cursing him. 

You probably should’ve told them to “play nice”, but then Jason emerged from the water and grabbed both his little brothers and...It was clearly all in good fun. Jon was bursting in laughter, cheering along with Duke and Cass for whoever they were siding with to win. 

Ah. Ah you lived for days like this. When you could all pretend to be normal. Then again, you would change your lifestyle for no others. 

The vigilante thing, making Gotham (and by extension the World) a better place...this was what you chose. What you all chose. 

You turned away from your children playing in the pool, screaming (you were pretty sure they could be heard all the way in Downtown Gotham) and having fun, to look for your husband. 

And there he was. Flipping some burgers on the barbecue. Looking hella fine in his polo shirt and cargo shorts. Then again, that man could wear a burlap sack that he would still look good. 

You were shamelessly staring at him when he turned to look at you, giving you the smuggest look you’ve seen on his face in a while. 

Oh. Oh the bastard. He knew the effect he had on you. And he loved it. 

Mmm. 

That sort of called for a little lesson, right ? Punishment, perhaps ?

And the environment was perfect. Here he was, taking care of the barbecue, while surrounded by friends asking for burgers...The perfect setting to fluster Bruce Wayne. 

You took your phone out, and wrote everything you wanted to do to him. The way that polo shirt was clinging to his muscles definitely fueled your imagination. 

You pressed send, and sat back in your chair, sipping on your non-alcoholic cocktail. You smiled at Lois and Dinah as they came to sit next to you, and took part in their conversation (they were talking about how annoying Oliver and Clark could be, yet how great they were too, and ah you could relate to this haha). But you kept a lookout for Bruce. 

His phone rang. The infamous “family beep”. But he didn’t immediately react. Probably because his entire family was reunited here, and he could see none of them were in trouble. 

He was probably thinking it was you sending him a text about how well you wanted your burger. Or something like that. And that’s when...

Your oldest son was coming with a plate full of uncooked food for the barbecue, and was about to settle it on the table next to his dad, but his phone was in the way. So he took it in his hand, and as he settled the plate Bruce’s phone rung again. 

You stood up, and called out, a little panicked : 

“No no no wait Dick ! Hey ! Don’t look at-”

Too late. You could see, as your son turned very pale, eyes widening and looking very ill, that he saw what you send your husband...

Damn it. And it was a very imaginative one at that, today...You sighed, knowing what was about to happen.

“WHAT THE FUCK ?!” 

Dick turned towards his father, looking as if he had just been betrayed. And Bruce has no idea what’s happening. 

“WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE YOUR PHONE OUT LIKE THAT IF THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE GONNA RECEIVE ?!” 

And suddenly, your husband understands. And he’s not sure if he’s amused or if he wants to frown at you. He gives you a quick glance, and you shrug. You definitely didn’t intend on traumatizing your son with this... 

Dick takes hold of his salad bowl, looks at his father straight in the eyes and says : 

“You disgust me.” Oh, but it was said in such an overdramatic, over the top way. It was impossible for you not to grin. 

And on that note, absolutely outraged and rather grossed out, Dick leaves to go grumpily eat his salad, alone at one of the outside table. Slowly, his siblings go to him, wondering what happened and why he screamed like that. 

But as they see you slowly laugh your ass off, as they see their father who’s not sure if he should be flustered, ashamed or amused, and as they see Dick’s face...They all understand the subject of it all. They don’t know the exact things that happened. But they know their parents enough, and particularly the way you sometimes couldn’t get your hands off of each others, to know what this all was about. 

Cue a bunch of “oh no ewwwww”, and a few “in front of your salad ?!” doubled with “this is a family event...”, and you definitely can’t stop laughing. 

You feel a little bad, because you really didn’t intend on your son seeing what you had to say. And this was definitely one of the worst thing that happened on the spectrum of “my parents are gross...ly in love”. But you can’t help it. Your kids’ faces are just too funny. 

And the way Bruce tries to resist looking at his phone to see what you said, while obviously being very curious (and feeling a little hot, the heat outside not being the reason)...it was just the icing on the cake. 

So what if you were a little evil, and liked to tease him a bit too much ? And what if there were some little collateral damages along the way ? 

As you always said, nobody was perfect. 

Sometimes, it is welcomed.

Oh but there are days. Harder than others. Where you do it, not to fluster or annoy him, but to take his mind off of his troubles.

Like right now.

You could see him, in the middle of this sea of people. Not feeling like he belongs. And dwelling on painful past events.

You went to get him a drink, for once. You left him alone for a few minutes, as you made your way to the bar and ordered the usual non-alcoholic drinks you two got. But when you turned around...

Here he was. 

Lost. In a place he did not want to be in, but had to so he could keep the “Brucie” facade he put up all those years. So the suspicion about him being Batman could never even start. And so he could put his money to good use. 

Charity, rebuilding the city, funding schools, hospitals...All of this required his presence. 

But oh. Oh he really didn’t want to be there. If it was up to him, he would probably be home, with his kids, in front of a movie they chose. Bonus point if you were snuggled up to him. 

This was his “one night a week” he HAD to not go out as Batman. And it killed you, that this night was too often used for such events... 

But alas, choosing the life you both chose required certain sacrifices. Including a few hours mingling with people you don’t even like, to try and make your city a better place. 

There was, however, something you could do for him. Something that would cheer him up, in this moment of “I wish I was somewhere else”. 

The “dirty texting to fluster Bruce” tactic wasn’t only used in mischievous way, to make him fluster and blush and such. 

No. No sometimes, sometimes it was used to cheer him up. 

Like now. 

Bruce’s mind was elsewhere, drowning in this sea of people he couldn’t even remember the names of. 

Until a familiar “beep” resounded in his pocket. 

The family “beep”. 

Without a second thought, he takes his phone out and...

Yes. There are certain moments, in which you sending him the dirtiest text he ever read (and being the “most eligible bachelor” for quite a while, he already received quite the saucy sexte), while you are in public, instead of flustering him would...

He finds you in the crowd easily. 

He always found it easy, to single you out. Even while amongst this many people. It’s because to him, you shine. Almost quite literally. 

He never had any difficulties finding his way back to you, even in the most crowded places...Sometimes, he joked that it’s because he could feel his love for you guide him. When he feels extra sappy, he says it with a serious tone. 

And he means it. 

He does. 

It’s easy, to find you. Because he knows where to look. As if instinct linked you to him all those years ago. And he knows. He knows it’s because he never loved anyone like he loves you. 

And right now, as you sent him a particularly graphic text in the hope to take his mind off of whatever dark thoughts he was getting lost in, he definitely finds it extra easy to find your face. 

There you are. 

And he smiles at you. Widely. So pure. Rare, for a man like him. 

Because he knows. He knows this time, you didn’t send this to him to fluster him in front of people, but to distract him. 

And it works. Oh damn it works. 

His smile turns “sexy”, as anyone would say, and he looks very smug, as you walk towards him. 

In truth, whenever you send him such a text, he always feel a little rush. Wether you’re trying to fluster him, or just cheer him up. 

That man was as in love with you as if it was the first day, forever stuck in the honeymoon phase...Why wouldn’t he appreciate receiving hot texts from you ?

Even when you were purposefully trying to make him blush, there was a little part of him, although it was infuriating how satisfied you look that you ALWAYS succeeded, that just loved those texts. 

You’re right next to him now, handing him his drink. He takes it smoothly from your hand, 

“Thank you, my love.” 

You wink at him, reveling in his warmth, snuggling a little closer albeit staying rather discreet, as this was an official event, after all. 

His hand squeeze your waist a little, and you know what he’s about to do. He bends down to your ear and whispers, all suave and smug : 

“What was this about needing um, a little disciplining ?” 

You smile, knowing your mission was a frank success as he’s definitely not thinking about not wanting to be there anymore. Well. He most likely does. But he’s not dwelling on pain and misery for sure. And he’s not thinking those dark thoughts he can have sometimes...

You give him a coy look, and then you say : 

“When we get out of here, I’ll show you.” 

Oh you make him melt. Unable to hide his bedroom eyes, he gives your forehead a chaste kiss in the hope to regain countenance. 

But it’s too late. You successful diverged his thoughts from any darkness...But now all he can think about is you. 

And what you told him you wanted him to do to you. 

Yes. Sometimes...Sometimes, you sending him absolutely dirty texts in public was everything he needed to come back to life. 

As ridiculous as this sounded. 

You were his lifeline so many times...He had no idea, at this point, what he would do without you. He couldn’t go back to the way he lived before you. No. He couldn’t. 

And you wouldn’t let him anyway. Because no matter what, you were here for him. Your unconditional love, and self-admittedly cheekiness was here for him. 

Ah. How good it felt, to be the only one in the world that could show off about being able to “fluster” the Batman himself. 

_________________________________________________

I think I haven’t written something that short in like...ever haha. I haven’t re-read myself, this is just a quick bonus story :).  It’s really just a little fun thing to write, nothing too serious or detailed or with too much feels ^^'. A quick drabble written for the sake of writing haha. I hope you liked it anyway, and aren’t disappointed or something ? 

Just wanted to show an unknown almost “evil” side to Batmom ? Hahahaha. Anyway : Any comments and reblogs are always greatly appreciated ^^. Thanks in advance, and see you soon with an actual story ! There’s one coming just this week-end ;).

[flyinglotus777]

Netflix’s Squid Game

SPOILER ALERT! If you are interested in watching the series, I HIGHLY suggest you do so. This article will be an overall synopsis and my review of the show. For an in-depth analysis of the symbolism of the show and ending, scroll down to the fourth to last paragraph.

The Netflix show, “Squid Game,” written and directed by Hwang Dong-hyuk is a phenomenal Korean drama centered around our victor, Seong Gi-hun, played by Lee Jung-jae. Contestants were recruited to play in a life or death competition due to their lack of luck, financial knowledge, and influx of impending debt they have accumulated throughout their lives. We first meet Gi-hun as he is down on his luck. Living with his elderly, overworked mother (which in countries outside of the United States is not strange nor uncommon) Gi-hun was a friend to gambling, but that toxic love caused him to be in debt to a gang of (what seemed to be) loan sharks. When luck finally strikes him on the race track, life simultaneously decides to take an excrement on his reality. His debt seekers catch him on his hot streak and involuntarily sign him up to be a participant in the Squid Game.

Similar to many other of the 456 participants, they all shared a common denominator of being in situations it seemed only money could fix. Upon arrival the contestants were asked to voluntarily sign wavers in order to participate in the game, while unknowingly risking their lives, for the opportunity to win 456 billion won (which would be roughly over $3.5 million in US currency). The challenges were mostly based on nostalgic childhood games, both based in the United States and South Korea.

Now I knew due to the explanation in the introduction of episode one that if any player were to lose, they would die. So during the first challenge of red light green light, when players were bulletly penalized for losing I was not surprised. After the game, the players decided to rally together and quit playing. The influence of the cash prize split the decision down the middle, leaving the old man, player 1, to be the final decision. To my surprise he actually chose to decline, freeing all of the players. During the voting, many players screamed at each other as to why they would choose to stay in the hell hole as other players responded that the outside world was not any better if not the same as the harsh environment they were already in. This reality struck many contestants as they returned back to their reality of debt, dependents, and for some bounty hunts, thus resulting in them returning to the game.

During the whole season, I was trying to find the purpose of these games. We knew why the participants felt motivated to play, but I wondered what was the purpose of having them fight for their lives in the first place. When the PlayStation faced soldiers forced the doctor (player 111) to dissect the bodies for organs to sell at the black market, at first I thought that it was what the original game maker wanted which I thought was genius. Soon to learn that it was actually a violation to a code of equality that was placed inside the arena applying to all of those who existed, soldiers and participants alike. Which struck me as odd due to the soldiers being able to tote guns and wear masks based on their own hierarchy and the participants being collectively isolated and given numbers as if it was a remake of the Stanford Prison experiment. Nonetheless many soldiers faced the same fate as the players, and my pondering would meet the solution come the finale.

Let’s discuss players. I only favored Gi-hun because he was the protagonist, but throughout the story he grew on me as his big heart prevailed through the madness. I knew Choo Sang-woo, the embezzling business man and hometown friend of Gi-hun played by Park Hae-soo, was a psychopath when I saw him in a fully filled bathtub with his suit on. Running from the police, in debt or not, that’s just as much of a red flag for serial killer tendencies as sleeping with socks on or having too thin and highly arched eyebrows. The episode that he crossed Ali, the father of one from Pakistan with the missing fingers, made me hate Sang-woo for the rest of the series. I was infuriated and frustrated with Ali for being that naïve to believe that they could escape the round as a duo, but understood his perspective since up until that point Sang-woo was a dependable, trusted ally to Ali. However after that episode I didn’t care who won, I was just ready for Sang-woo to die.

Kang Sae-byeok, the skeptical and beautiful warrior from North Korea played by Jung Ho-yeon, deserves her own paragraph. Along with her beauty, her presence and demeanor was so bad ass. She was thrifty and intelligent, as her talent being pick pocketing. I was waiting for her to just be so bad ass. As the punk disguised to be gangster, Jang Deok-su, pushed her around which seemed to be normal behavior between the two, I was ready for Sae-byeok to twist his arm, send a plunging round house kick to his nuts, and cut his snake tattoo right off of his face. Although her exterior was tough, her heart was made of malleable gold which we got to see as she opened up to her female companion during the marble challenge and sobbed from her loss afterwards. Although she was not the killer bad ass queen I had wanted her to be, I still call her a warrior because of her resiliency throughout life’s and the game’s many obstacles and her drive to provide her younger brother with a better life.

Thankfully Deok-su got what he deserved as Han Mi-nyeo poetically decided to take both of their lives during the glass challenge. “You said we would be together till the end,” she said before diving into her inevitable death with her short lived lover. Mi-nyeo was incredibly annoying as I would often pinch the inside corners of my eyes and scratch my eyebrows when she would appear. However that crazy bitch served justice, and I love her for that.

I was highly disappointed by the demise of the detective Hwang Jun-ho, played by the handsome Wi Ha-joon. I was rooting for detective Jun-ho, as I’m sure we all were, on his pursuit to find his brother. I was not surprised that his brother was Front Man, as I had suspected that his brother must’ve died or been apart of the game making due to his absence in real life and the current game. After discovering his brother was the victor of his year, to me it only made sense that he would be apart of the game enforcement. As we saw from Gi-hun, a normal life is impossible to live after experiencing something so traumatic as a series of death ridden children games. However I was saddened and surprised that detective Jun-ho was unsuccessful in closing down the whole operation. I mean the man was close to performing forced, aristocratic fellatio in the name of serving and protecting the law. I truly thought because he had gotten so far and was so close to exposing the operation that the only choice he had was to be successful. At last he was shot and killed by his own blood, the one he had been looking for; providing us with a cinematic and heart jerking ending to detective Jun-ho.

Lastly lets discuss the old man, player 001 named O Yeong-su, whom I also nicknamed Poppy during the series. Deceivingly innocent and weak, I genuinely liked Yeong-su throughout the game play. I thoroughly enjoyed his relationship with Gi-hun and saw him as a valuable player in most instances. I believe he was one of the main reasons that Gi-hun continued to lead with his heart. Gi-hun claimed that Yeong-su was the reason he returned to the games and later found out that Yeong-su was the reason there were games in the first place. The climatic episode of the marble challenge was when their relationship had been defined as “gganbu” (which is a term for trusted, close friends in Korean, as explained in the series), thus Yeong-su establishing a special place in Gi-hun’s heart. During the challenge, Yeong-su begins to have an episode of what we all assumed to be dementia as the arena they are playing in is designed like his old neighborhood and he abandons the game to take a trip down memory lane. Gi-hun screams in frustration at the old man to play with him only to end up losing in their even and odd game and resulting in deceit, tricking the old man to let him be the victor. Now if I was Gi-hun, I would’ve convinced Yeong-su to let me hold his marbles for safe keeping and let him have a fun time reminiscing on his life while he ran down the clock. Then when it was time, I would’ve turned in all 20 marbles just as Sang-woo did and went about my business. It would’ve only been right for the old man to forfeit as he was already on his death bed, or so we innocently thought. Before I get into the ending, I want to talk about the last match between Sang-woo and Gi-hun.

Finally, the last game to see who would be victorious in a highly anticipated game of Squid between Gi-hun and Sang-woo. It seemed as if it were a battle between good vs evil; Gi-hun representing a more benevolent side as he would often optimistically look to help other competitors and extend the kindness he had been shown versus Sang-woo who represented a more vindictive and ruthless side, determined to hurt anyone in order to receive his highly coveted and long awaited prize in an arena that erased any foundation of morals or ethics as soon as the light turned red. Luck was on Gi-hun’s side as he had the opportunity to play offense. With a cunning mind and a vengeance for Sae-byeok’s death, Gi-hun delivered a can of whoop ass to his opponent. As the saying goes, the good shall always prevail. Perhaps his heart was too pure as Gi-hun halted from crossing the finish line and offered Sang-woo a chance to live, thus forfeiting the prize money. Needless to say, I applauded when Sang-woo committed suicide as it was the only right thing to do in his position.

A year passed by and Gi-hun seemed worse than before. Physically his style was bummy wealthy, a look pioneered by Bill Gates, but mentally he was in shambles. How could you blame him? Gi-hun discovered that the responsible party for these horrendous events was none other than his ggangbu, old man Yeong-su. The biggest, jaw dropping plot twist of the entire series. As they were joined on Christmas Eve and Yeong-su on his death bed, they placed one final bet on an assumed to be drunken, homeless man who sat on the streets as it snowed and waited for help to arrive. Yeong-su explained how he actually wanted to help people and give his money to people who needed it, but wanted to do it in an “entertaining way.” As Gi-hun flared with outrage towards the old man for finding amusement in killing people, the old man rebutted using horse races as an example of people’s amusement. Yeong-su also said he participated in the games because it was more fun to play than to be a spectator, which I had noticed him treating the competition as if it were adult summer camp. I had just assumed since he was old, he didn’t care if he had died or not.

I think most people will think that this show was a metaphor about how money and rich people are evil. However I think it can be seen as commentary on society as a whole, not just the wealthy. Yeong-su says on his death bed that it’s a test of humanity, and asks Gi-hun if he still has faith in humanity after what he has experienced. Although money was the luring motivator to win the game, people still chose to return to the competition to escape their problems. Sure, money was apart of their problems as all of the players (excluding Yeong-su) were in debt, but that was due to choices that they had made. Whether it had been through embezzling, gambling, lack of luck, or financial ignorance, it was the people who had gotten themselves into those situations. Money doesn’t have a personal vendetta against anyone nor does it have an inherent quality of good or evil. Money is a neutral energy used to be exchanged for goods and services. It’s people who designate that energy to their humane or inhumane desires.

Leading to the next point of the wealthy and how they are seen to be evil due to having wealth. Although I do believe that there are some wealthy people who act as villains, money didn’t create the villain inside of them. Those people were going to behave maliciously whether they have money or not. The VIPs, who were spectating the finale of challenges, were tied to a bank devoted to the wealthy and gambled on the competitors who played (and most likely helped subsidize the events). We place judgement on them, but as Yeong-su said, people gamble on horse races. Although people are not animals and by my knowledge I don’t believe most or any horses die during these races, it is still the principle of watching an entity being tortured for amusement, which is not only confined to the wealthy population. When the concept of killing and tormenting living breathing beings for amusement is normalized within society, the lines begin to blur on who is okay to perform and who is not. Take the audience of this show for example, we all watched a show where hundreds of people were mercilessly killed for the desire of winning a cash prize for our own amusement, thus making “Squid Game” the number one show on Netflix at the moment. Although the show is fictional and brilliantly written, this Hunger Games concept is not new. We come in contact again and again with the idea of people who are disadvantaged given an opportunity to better their lives through inhumane means, including risking their own lives or actively sacrificing the life of another, and being spectators on the edge of our seats who can’t seem to look away. It is no different than a Roman gladiator match in a grand colosseum, which in modern day would be a MMA fight at the MGM hotel. We blame it on the rich who are ridiculed for creating these events, but at the end of the day it is the people, rich,poor, and everyone in between, who continue to still go along with it and to some extent desire it. Which makes me question, what does that say about humanity, and do I actually have faith in us? Although Gi-hun went through hell and back, he still remained pure of heart and used his wealth to enhance his life and those around him; proving that wealthy people can still be benevolent and desire righteous good. Similar to Gi-hun, the optimist in me wants to believe that there are still people in this world with good hearts, but I guess we just have to wait until the time comes to see.

Ultimately the show was phenomenal, and definitely sparked a desire inside of me to watch more Korean dramas. I don’t think the show will have a second season. Simply because I think the story line would be better cut off there, thus leaving the audience always wanting more. However if season 2 ever comes out, I’m ready for Gi-hun to take a Liam Neeson approach to ending the Squid Game and hopefully with a beard. Thank you for reading my article. I know it was incredibly lengthy. I have just finished the season after a 2 day binge watch, and have a lot of emotions and thoughts ruminating in my brain. Let me know what you think of the show and what you think of the article. Did anyone else notice the paintings of the games on the walls of the dormitory?

God bless.

[astaroth1357]

Congratulations!! So happy for you!! Do you mind writing a HC for the Tiny!MC, where the brothers see Tiny!MC in trouble with some lesser demons? Like, the lesser demon is bullying them or about to hurt them, how would the brothers react? You don’t have to write this if you don’t want to tho. Again Congratulations!!!

Demon Brothers React to Tiny!MC Being Threatened by Lesser Demons

You know, my first thought was "Which one of you fuckers lost tiny!MC in the first place?? Bad demons! Worse than usual! Keep better track of your itty-bitty human!"

Pretty much uses the same continuity to the rest of my Tiny!Series, I put this somewhere during the “Lucifer, I Shrunk Myself...” portion.

Warnings: Violence, Overly Protective Behavior

Intro:

Five minutes. Their demonic guardian said they were only going to put them down for Five. Minutes. It shouldn't have been that dangerous, or even risky, because everyone should have known that tiny!MC was under their protection. Sure, an itsy-bitsy human would make a perfect snack... but who would want to provoke the wrath of the student council for no reason??… Okay so, lesser demons aren’t exactly known for their intelligence but still...

This is not going to end well...

Lucifer

Doesn’t that lowlife know who he's messing with? Lucifer almost pities him for being so stupid, really…

He brought tiny!MC out to the gardens at their request because they were getting restless being stuck in his room. It wasn't supposed to be a dangerous area so he felt fine leaving them briefly to answer a call from Diavolo. When he came back he found a lesser demon standing over them... drooling...

What came out was a rather chilling side of Lucifer normally only seen by Mammon. One where he can walk up to a person, demon form out in full, then drag them away by the collar with an eerily calm smile on his face.

Tiny!MC didn't see what Lucifer did to the demon… but they did hear Cerberus get summoned before the firstborn returned to them. Their imagination worked to fill in the blanks…

Lucifer apologized to them rather kindly (a real rarity for him) but they noticed he cut their visit short and took them back to the House quickly. They got the sense he'd rather they be safe but bored in his room than entertained but vulnerable to such a dangerous world…

Mammon

Pfffffft, Mammon is protective of MC even when they’re normal-sized. Them being tiny doesn’t change much.

He had brought them along with him for one of his gambling nights. Unfortunately, he got too absorbed in the game to notice a group of lesser demons getting closer to tiny!MC than they really should have… At least until they shouted for his help.

It's rare to see Mammon mad. It really is. But there was nothing but pure rage in his eyes when he grabbed one of the demons by the throat and sent him crashing through the roulette tables. His speed made it pretty easy for him to round up all the others that tried to scatter and he gave them a similar treatment.

After everyone was thoroughly on the ground, bleeding, he asked the MC if they were hurt. If they were, then that'd just earn the downed demons another round of his fury. No one hurts his human like that! Big or small.

He'll apologize a whole bunch for letting his guard down… but also complain a little on the way back to the House because his luck was just starting to turn around too! 😖😞

Leviathan

Direct confrontation isn’t something Levi finds himself in often… but there can be exceptions.

He and tiny!MC were in one of the few stores in town that sold otaku goods and he had set them down to do some browsing in that hyper, distracted fanboy way he gets.

A couple of lesser demons were just some other patrons who happened by them, but who could pass up such a convenient snack?

Well, tiny!MC was convenient until the guys heard what was probably the world's most unholy hissing sound coming from the other side of the room…

Levi has never claimed to be at the peak of demonic prowess or anything, but just this once he was at their defense at a speed he’s never pulled off before. In practically a blink of an eye, he has one asshole lifted by the collar and the other getting crushed by his tail. It wasn't a pretty sight...

After the threat was dealt with, he snapped right back into the same ol'Levi like nothing ever happened, though. Blubbering apologies and frantically checking to be sure they were unharmed... What a somewhat terrifying sweetheart. 🤭

He pretty much refused to take them anywhere again until they were back to normal. Who needs the real world anyway?? His room is the only place they ever need to be!

Satan

You know this is exactly why he kept them so close in the first place...

Satan had to retrieve a book from the highest shelf in the RAD library so he set tiny!MC down in order to climb the ladder. A small gang of lesser demons decided to strike while he was up there browsing...

When he slid back down and turned to see the demons had surrounded the table that he left tiny!MC at, his shout alone was powerful enough to rattle the shelves behind him...

Needless to say, the Avatar of Wrath made very short work of the threat. And a library ladder can make a surprisingly versatile weapon if you put it in the hands of someone pissed enough to use it... and strong enough to rip it off its sliding track… What was it? Metal? Steel? Eh, not strong enough to stop an angry Satan anyway.

After the dust settled, he double-checked to be sure the MC was okay and apologized for being so careless... But they could tell he was still trying his best to regain his composure post berserker freakout. Someone's going to have to nurse those bloody knuckles for him later...

His overprotective instincts tripled afterward. If you think that Satan was ever going to put them down again then that’s a fantasy. Between the lesser demons and that sly bastard Solomon, tiny!MC was never leaving his hand at RAD again. Period.

Asmodeus

Excuse me?? Some lesser demon was doing what now?! Oh HELL no!! Not to his adorable tiny!MC!!

Asmo was shopping with tiny!MC and set them down outside a dressing room while he tried on a cute outfit. Apparently, a lesser demon was doing the same in the stall next to him and came out to find a little human waiting patiently outside… powerless… vulnerable… and tasty!

Asmo opened the door right as the demon picked tiny!MC up to have a bite. The fifthborn's scream shattered all the mirrors in the store like he was some kind of infuriated opera singer then he ripped the demon a very verbal (and physical) new one...

Once the attacker was pretty much decimated, Asmo tended to the MC like they'd just gotten dragged through an active war zone. He asked them, "Are you okay?!" so many times that the words "I’m fine" pretty much lost all meaning...

The sheer carnage left the store employees too damn petrified to ask him to leave so he bought the (now ruined) outfit he had on and took them right home. His sweet tiny!MC was definitely getting a spa treatment that night as an apology… Poor thing...

Beelzebub

Apparently, some people just want to go bear poking for fun...

He and tiny!MC were outside a food stall and he had set them down to go wait in line. In hindsight, he probably should have known the meals would attract other hungry demons… ones that wouldn't mind a free snack… And tiny!MC got cornered pretty quickly while his back was turned.

Those demons might have thought twice about their plan, though, if they had known Beel would attack them with the entire stall itself. 😰

Poor tiny!MC, by some miracle, barely got out of the way of the wooden structure crashing down on top of their attackers as if dropped by the heavens in a fit of rage... Those not crushed under the wreckage got squashed under Beel's fists...

In the aftermath, Beel was barely recognizable when he picked them back up, holding his bitty human so close that they might have suffocated against his chest. Even the stall's very upset owner just backed away from him after getting a ferocious snarl…

It took him a couple hours to calm back down… Then a couple hundred apologies to Lucifer who has to foot the bill for that guy's ruined livelihood… But hey, no one would ever be dumb enough to touch his tiny!MC again. 

Belphegor

Heeeey! Picking on tiny!MC is his thing! Like he’s going to let anyone else give them any grief…

Belphie likes to hide on the roof of RAD sometimes to take a midday nap so he thought it would be funny to hide tiny!MC from the others by taking them with him one afternoon. Both were peacefully napping when a lesser demon apparently had the same idea and found them.

Belphie woke up when he heard their distressed cries and saw the demon trying to carry tiny!MC away... Oh, he wasn't having that.

Belphie shot up and snapped the scumbag's wrist to get tiny!MC free before he effortlessly sent him flying over the edge in one fell swoop. Give this to the Avatar of Sloth, when he does get moving he’s pretty efficient.

The demon's fall got cushioned by a grove of trees below, which earned Belphie a slightly less severe lecture from Lucifer. He did, however, get a pretty rough one from Satan anyway because he took the MC like that in the first place…

Beel took custody of tiny!MC yet again but even he was grateful to his twin for protecting their little human. Tiny!MC noticed Belphie started sleeping a little lighter when he knew they were around, but he'd deny that any supposed “guilt” had anything to do with it… Whatever he says, I guess. 🙄

[comfortwriting]

Never Alone - The Marauders

Masterlist, Posting Schedule, Requesting Rules, Writing Prompts, navigation

The Marauders x Fem Reader x Marlene McKinnon

A/N: As someone who was bullied in highschool for my sexuality and slandered by members of my family, this was somewhat therapeutic yet hard for me to write as I’ve never spoken about it. If you need a helpline, etc please scroll to the bottom of my navigation <3

Requested/About: The reader is dating Marlene McKinnon, once their relationship is made public, other students decide to be openly homophobic towards her. Her cousin, Sirius Black and his best friend James Potter find out, going after the students and comforting her. 

Warnings: Homophobia, Homophobic Slurs, Mention of conversion, Swearing.

“Are you sure you want to, you know, go public?” Your girlfriend Marlene asked.

You felt your heart speed up, sweat already forming in your palms, you sighed.

“Yeah... just give me one more day” you swallowed hard and looked into her starry eyes “I’m tired of hiding who I am, I’m tired of hiding us - but I’m scared.”

Marlene smiled sympathetically from ear to ear, talking your hand in hers.

“It’s never going to be easy, Y/N, but we’ve got each other and that’s all that matters”

You nodded again and held onto her hand tighter, squeezing it as you often did when you were nervous.

Sharing a kiss, the two of you stood up and walked across the school grounds.

Before you could reach the doors to be engulfed by the delicious mouth watering meals, you heard foot steps behind you.

Two boys in the year above you in Raven Claw had closed in on you, they were glaring but the corners of their lips curled up slightly.

“I never would’ve thought Marlene was a dyke—“

“Leave her alone!” You hissed and the taller student, pushing yourself in front of your girlfriend to shield her.

The two boys shared a glance and started laughing.

“You’d think that being a witch you would fix yourself, make yourself normal.” The other boy spat at you.

Your throat went dry and started to feel tight, boiling blood flowed through your veins and you felt like you could throw up or faint, you wanted to scream, to say something back but you couldn’t.

Tears filled your eyes and your vision went glassy, every noise around you turned into muffled nonsense, you were trapped in a vice with your own thoughts and the disgusting comments from other people, torturing yourself and toying with your mind.

Why can’t I be normal?

Am I disgusting?

What are my family going to think?

Sirius won’t be able to look at me

Whilst drowning in your thoughts, Marlene pushed herself out of your shielding and stood up to the other students, arguing back, yelling and getting out her wand.

“You talk a lot boys, why don’t we settle this another way?”

But Marlene wasn’t as good as she thought, the two boys simply laughed at her, disarmed her and walked away, threatening to spill the truth to whole of Hogwarts.

“Y/N?” Your girlfriend called out softly “Y/N”

Blinking away the tears, you slipped out from your vice and felt as if you had been thrusted back into reality.

You looked up at Marlene and felt ashamed for not doing something.

“Marlene, I’m sorry, I love you.”

She shushed you softly “hey, it’s okay.” Her fingers traced your scalp, holding you in her arms “I love you too... let’s just get ourselves sorted out and head off for dinner.”

Wiping away your tears with your sleeve, the two of you walked into the great hall.

You cousin Sirius waved and ushered you to come over to sit with him and his friends.

James Potter and Lily were away with the fairies, giggling.

Remus Lupin looked a lot better than the previous week and the scratches on his face were starting to heal nicely.

You sat next in between your cousin and Girlfriend. Staring at your plate, too scared to say anything incase the boys had already blabbed to them.

“Well, aren’t you going to eat something?” Sirius asked, taking a sip from his goblet.

You nodded “right, yeah” and stabbed some turkey, piercing it with your fork and stuffing it into your mouth.

“You aren’t usually this quiet” James butted in as Lily left to go to the toilet.

Marlene gave James a sad look and started to eat, hoping the subject could be dropped.

“He’s right, Y/N.” Remus said softly “is everything okay?”

You could hear the intrusive thoughts and comments rise in your head again, the vice getting tighter.

You put your head in your hands and started to cry, you wanted to stand up and run but you were too afraid, you were terrified people would make a big deal and would end up finding out the truth.

“Nothing is okay” you wailed.

Sirius wrapped his arm around you and bent his head next to your ear.

“Can you just try your best to explain what’s happened?”

You shook your head even more and continued to cry, wanting to throw up the food you had worked so hard to chew down and swallow.

Marlene sighed and asked Sirius to come over, Sirius got out of his seat and crouched next to Marlene.

Marlene looked at you, the two of you making eye contact, emotions spinning in the air, your hearts running a marathon, this was it - you couldn’t hide anymore.

“Please can I tell him?” Your girlfriends eyes were pleading more than they ever had in their life.

You nodded and cried even more, holding onto her hand for support.

Marlene let out a shaky breath and looked into your cousins deep eyes “me and Y/N, we’ve been together for awhile now and it’s been kept secret but” she sighed again, her voice wobbling “two boys from Raven Claw spotted us and—“

“They think it’s okay to just toss out a homophobic slur like it means nothing, they think it’s a choice and that magic will make me normal” you wailed, too scared to look your cousin and his friends in the eyes.

James’s eyes widened and Lupin looked horrified, he stood up and walked over to your side of the table.

Sirius had never been so infuriated in his life, his veins were bulging out of his skull, his eyes burning with fury, his teeth gritted.

“Who” he growled.

Marlene looked across at the Raven Claw table and pointed at the two lads who were whispering to one another, grimacing and laughing.

Sirius stood up with his hands balled into fists “James—“

“You don’t need to tell me even once.” His best friend replied, pushing back his glasses.

Lupin pulled you into his arms, Marlene still holding your hand.

“I don’t want them to get in trouble—“

“They can’t get away with this, Y/N” Lupin replied softly “it’s bang out of order.”

Sirius stormed over to the Raven Claw table with James, both of them focussing on one lad each. In synch, they pulled the lads up by the back of their collars, dragging them out of their seats.

“Think you’d get away with it, did you?” Sirius seethed.

The lad stood up and stared Sirius down “want to take this outside?”

Sirius didn’t budge, James still holding back the other student.

“Don’t see why I would” Sirius spat “Homophobes don’t deserve to kept in the dark - protected. You disgusting scum bags shouldn’t be allowed here at Hogwarts!”

“And you expect your cousin to be accepted for who she is?”

The professors got up from their tables and hurried over to the unfolding scene, you could hear the rising in whispers and chatter from the other tables around you.

“It’s going to be okay” your girlfriend reassured you.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of” Lupin said softly “you’re perfect the way you are.”

Dumbledore glided over, staring at James and holding Sirius back from launching at the boy. He knew what James and Sirius were mischievous, yet good natured and kind hearted - he knew the was a reason behind this outburst of rage.

“Can the four of you make your way to my office”

James let go of the other student and followed behind Dumbledore.

“Only if you make that dyke normal—“

Sirius turned around and socked the student in the face, causing him to fall on the floor with a bloody nose.

You hid your face into the crook of Lupin’s neck, everyone now knowing your secret.

“Everyone get out!” Dumbledore yelled, everyone instantly leaving the hall in a hurry.

Dumbledore flashed Lupin a look and nodded.

The three of you were sat in the empty great hall for what felt like hours, your stomach doing flips and you couldn’t stop shaking, Lupin and your girlfriend constantly reassuring you and trying to cheer you up.

Sirius and James walked back into the hall, Sirius ran over to you and picked you up into his arms, the two of you crying.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

You shook your head “no but I will be.”

“You don’t ever be ashamed of who you are” Sirius cried “it doesn’t make you any less of the person you are, we all still love you.”

“Are you okay, what happened, I—“

“Those two pricks have been expelled, they’re packing immediately” James smirked, rubbing your back.

You felt part of the weight on your chest had been lifted, James engulfed you into a hug while Sirius talked to your girlfriend, thanking her for being there for you and for treating you nothing short of perfect.

Dumbledore called out your name, asking to speak to you in his office.

James and Sirius smiled and nodded towards Dumbledore, you swallowed another forming lump down your throat and followed your head teacher.

Sitting down in his large and warm office, your eyes were glued to the gorgeous Phoenix sat in-front of you, batting its eyes at you.

“Sirius isn’t in trouble is he?”

“Not at all.” Dumbledore replied “Y/N, I want you to know, you will always be accepted here at Hogwarts and we won’t stand for Homophobia or discrimination of any sort.”

You let out a sigh of relief and nodded, thanking him, not knowing where to look you continued to stare at the Phoenix.

“You shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are but I can understand it takes time, it took me awhile too.” Dumbledore smiled softly.

You looked through his half moon spectacles and into his eyes.

He nodded his head, and held out his hand for you to hold.

“You are never alone, Y/N.” His eyes filled with tears, the two of you finally feeling free.

[solomonish]

Love is Just a Feeling I Do Not Need (Lucifer x Reader)

Even if this dream isn’t yours, just keep dreaming it.

based off of this song.

ao3 link: here!

Ah, don't you know all this shit is annoying me It's not my act and it's driving me crazy That gaze you're giving me, that voice and that face I see Ah, don't you know? I hate them so-o-o

Though Lucifer was normally a fan of reliability and structure, this was a routine he wouldn’t mind going on without.

Every Thursday, sometime between the hours of 5 and 6 o’clock, you and Mammon would find yourselves shuffling nervously in front of his desk, shoulders hunched in anticipation for the verbal lashing you were about to receive. Most often than not, he’d direct his frustration towards Mammon, saving the gentler reprimands for you. It isn’t that he intended to go easy on you - if anything, he truly thought you could do with a little more firm punishment - but you normally got roped into Mammon’s schemes in the middle of trying to stop them. It was a noble, yet foolish, effort, and forcing yourself through the same vicious cycle seemed punishment enough for your naivety.

If ever there was a chance at levelling with you, Lucifer would hope you’d agree that receiving such a punishment was him was a blessing in disguise. He never lacked in the discipline department, but compared to the types of demons out there that weren’t bound by honor or loyalty and would love to take a bite out of you, his lectures were hardly anything to complain about. Though you’d furrow your brows or glower at him every now and then, it was your sweetness that got you into your messes and it was what allowed those transgressions to pass. He could tell that, as burdensome as you clearly thought he was in these moments, you never intended to interrupt his work or irk him beyond repair.

However, even the sweetest of fruits could rot if left on the table for long enough, and you were no different.

Lucifer had hoped that you might be a good influence on Mammon, or at least teach him a little bit of responsibility, but it seemed the influencing was happening the other way around. You got braver with your challenging looks and quips of defiance, only pushing the boundaries further the longer you were in the devildom. Perhaps, in his effort to allow you to ruminate on your actions yourself, he had spoiled you, for you were certainly acting far out of the bounds of what was appropriate for your situation. Not only did you seem to find your consistent troublemaking a persistent problem that needed fixing, but you also thought that, in a house filled with some of the most powerful demons in the realm, you found it a wise decision to directly challenge him, the oldest, the one most capable of hurting you. Lucifer wasn’t known for his tendency to hold back his anger or his punishments, and exchange students didn’t exactly have the privilege of diplomatic immunity.

Even worse, when he told you as much, all you had to say for yourself was, "You know, you don't have to put on this authoritative act for every little thing just to earn my respect."

Even worse for you, you had a lopsided smile that you couldn't repress, one full of arrogance and challenging him directly. He clenched tighter onto his desk, not quite sending spindling fractures through the wood but hearing it creak in protest all the same. Almost immediately, that cocky grin slipped off your face and you murmured an apology, lowering your head in submission in the hopes he would only continue his lecture and not add on to the punishment.

If the work slotted into his day had been any less, he would have come up with some sort of punishment for you. Your sudden cowardice was not enough to force his pride to keel. But his workload was already too immense to be dealing with a human’s daring - stupid - display of defiance, so he waved you off shortly after and stewed over his reports.

Lucifer didn’t miss the way you practically scurried out of his office, nor could he block out the harsh whispers outside his door as Mammon fussed over you. For a brief moment, he figured that he should call you back, give you a fitting punishment for your continued antics and save the future version of himself from these headaches. However, he knew that it’d only breed harsher animosity within you, and you would only work harder to annoy him. At the mere thought, his headache returned, and he focused on the paper on the desk in his attempt to block out the pain.

Whether it was due to your tendency to attract danger or his own tendency to micromanage once given a job (and dedicated to his task to assist in the exchange program he was), Lucifer found himself keeping an eye on you whenever he could. Oftentimes, he was out of your range, working in his office or assisting Diavolo wherever he may be in the expansive school. Even during class, when he wasn’t pulled aside to help Diavolo, he was in some of the most advanced classes in the school, all far above your level as a human thrown into an unfamiliar realm. That was one of the reasons he assigned you as Mammon’s responsibility - even though he did know, deep down, that his brother would rise to the occasion, he was also the only brother in a few of the lower level classes you had. That was a thought he didn’t dare linger on for too long, lest he feel another flare of anger build up.

Still, there were moments when he passed you in the hall, or beckoned you to follow him into his office to smooth over some administrative details regarding your exchange student status in the Devildom. Each time you turned your back, he found himself watching you leave, as if his gaze alone was enough to send you safely on your own. Nobody caught him staring - and if they did, they had the wisdom to pretend they didn’t. Yet you were human in every aspect of the word, tactless, weak and unwise, and when you caught his gaze - which he hated to admit had happened, and hated even more to count exactly how many times it happened - you smiled at him kindly. Those times, you weren’t planning anything or hoping to annoy him. You were merely treating him like a friend, giving him a silent greeting when you knew he wouldn’t make his way over to you to meet you properly.

Treating him like a friend...treating him with as much familiarity as you did his brothers? The thought insulted him. If you weren’t afraid of him, he would have to amend that quickly. Until he could see the respect in your gaze, and until he could be certain you feared him how he wanted you to, he loathed that stupid grin on your face as much it made his stomach churn.

It isn't fate or a miracle that brought us here Expecting nothing, it all remains so unclear Since I don't mind if you aren't really the best I'm sure that we'll be fine Come and hold me tight

Weeks and months did nothing to quell your troublesome nature. If anything, the more familiar you found yourself with your surroundings, the more you tried to bend the rules until they broke. Lucifer was aware of all of your antics - at least, he certainly hoped there weren’t any he was missing, because then he’d wonder if your feeble human body could handle all of that activity. Still, Lucifer was a man who knew how to pick his battles, no matter what his behavior with his brothers may say. More often than not, he warned against the stupid ideas he could see brewing in your mind, figuring that if there was no stopping you he could at least instill you with the proper sense of caution.

If he sat too long on the thought of how much trouble you really did cause, the only thought in his mind screamed the audacity! What kind of entitlement did you think you had? How could one human decide this realm was theirs to meddle with?

It was infuriating how much you managed to get wrapped up in, despite your inexperience. Perhaps it was that inexperience that had you scrambling about the Devildom like a new, untrained puppy that insisted on chewing everybody’s shoes? (This is why Lucifer never allowed pets, he realized. If his brothers couldn’t control a creature they could communicate with, how could they control an animal?) Maybe you assumed that being under the care of the seven demon lords meant you had some sort of immunity to the consequences of your antics. But being under their care did not mean they cared for you, and it was time that you realized just how lucky it was that you managed to survive this long.

Brash as it may sound, you weren’t anything special. At best, you were extraordinarily lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you enjoyed the exchange program); one human chosen out of billions. You had no standing here, not one of chosen status, no power or understanding of the magic that ruled the world around them.

It did work in your favor, if only a little bit. At least this way, Lucifer had no expectations of you coming in, so your disruptive behavior was no more disappointing than was to be expected. He had no image of you in his mind, nothing for you to contradict. It’s not as if you really cared what he thought, but it sure saved him the bother of reconciling his mental image with the unfortunate reality you were. Of course, that also meant that he didn’t always know what kind of trouble you were about to stir up, just that you would definitely stir up some trouble.

It isn’t until he hears a loud crash and your voice among the startled yelps that he realizes how much time he took from his reports to reflect on you.

Or rather….on your behavior.

Love is just a feeling I do not need I can't handle it so I'll go on tirelessly Close your eyes and feel me breathe down your neck Even if this dream isn't yours, just keep dreaming it

Yes, this was the best solution.

He noticed the way your shoulder tensed when you heard his footsteps. Have you learned the sound of his footsteps already? How cute.

You were sitting at a table in the library with Satan standing not too far away. Lucifer remembered Mammon begging someone to be your escort home so he could take care of some business with the witches, and after some arguing and a firm interruption by yours truly, Satan was tasked with bringing you home safely. Of course, he had to stop in the school library first - some human wasn’t going to force him to change his plans. You had the wisdom to take out an assignment to work on, clearly one of the easier ones that wouldn’t be too disturbed if you stopped in the middle when Satan was prepared to leave.

Lucifer didn’t plan on stopping in the library, but Diavolo was stuck in a separate meeting and he happened to be walking by, so why shouldn’t he check on the human in his charge?

He approached you with quiet, even steps, enjoying the way you went stiff as soon as he was near enough to start speaking to you. You looked to be expecting that, though, and he just couldn’t have that. No, instead he stepped directly behind your chair, placing one hand on the back of it so his gloved knuckles barely brushed against your shoulder. Bending at the waist, he leaned down so his chin almost touched your other shoulder, his breath ghosting your ear as he peered down at the paper in front of you.

“I see you’re taking your duties here in the Devildom seriously for once,” He started, his voice almost a deep purr. “Diavolo will be pleased to hear this report.”

You were fighting a shiver at the sound of his voice alone. He knew that you knew that he could feel the way you held back your shiver. That probably pleased him more than if you had actually done it.

“U-uh, yeah,” You stammered, fiddling with your pencil. “I’m just...trying to get some work done.”

He hummed, looking over your answers and taking his sweet time doing so. The longer he remained leaning by your side, the more he could hear your breath shallowing. Even if he was in charge of your safety, that didn’t mean he couldn’t still have a little bit of fun with the human that had a penchant for having too much fun with him.

Before you could swat him away, he quickly straightened himself out and patted your shoulder. Satan had returned by that point, just rounding the corner of a bookshelf and narrowing his eyes the moment he saw Lucifer. A second later, his eyes drifted down to you and he furrowed his eyebrows - clearly, Lucifer had affected you much more than he could see, and the thought made him preen himself on the inside.

“I trust you’ll keep up the good work. Keep an eye on them, Satan.”

His cold demeanor was back, and neither of you had anything to say about it. How joyful things turned out to be.

Much to your chagrin, Lucifer was a fast learner, and he took to flustering you just enough to keep you sedated when he felt you’d cause trouble. At first, all it took was a little invasion of your personal space, a targeted breath or a pat on the shoulder, all things you could easily brush off as just him trying to communicate a point the way humans do. After a while, you built up a feeble tolerance that he could send toppling down again by switching those pats to gentle strokes. He might be getting friendly with you, but you never made any attempt to push him away.

He didn’t have any ulterior motives. He could justify himself by saying this was the only way to keep you under control. Lucifer may not have been the avatar of lust, but he was never one to be shown up by his brothers. Seduction was an art form he had mastered long ago, and even if he wasn’t purposely intending to bed you, he was a maestro at using his skills to affect you. Besides, the faces you made and the way you flustered yourself when he was even in the same room as you was enough to encourage him to keep going.

It didn’t matter that, after a while, Mammon had convinced you to get back into his schemes. It didn’t matter that when Lucifer asked you sly questions about finishing your work, you had some response about needing to have time to make his life even harder.

There was no harm in trying to keep you charmed, was there? Not when you seemed to be enjoying it so.

It's no use to just regret all night long So instead of mourning why don't you take me along? Just admit that I'm the best, can't you see? Love me till I hurt oh baby, come dance the night away with me

This was a song and dance the two of you learned the steps to quickly, one that went on for much longer than it had any right to. This was a fact you realized when it, quite literally, culminated in a dance.

Lucifer considered himself a master of tact, figuring that he could settle your tomfoolery once and for all with a rather serious talking to. Maybe, since this time you conversation would happen in public with the prince as a witness, you might listen and take some of his words to heart. Or, in the worst case scenario, at least he could be sure to keep your attention for long enough to get a meaningful message across.

Getting you alone was easy enough. Though you were surrounded by some of his brothers, it seemed Mammon was the only other one interested in separating you from the group and was stumbling over himself in his efforts to make it happen. Besides, even with the way you disregarded every warning he gave you, at least you learned that Lucifer only ever asks as a formality. So, he found himself leading you by the hand to the middle of the floor, placing a hand on your waist as casually as one can and mimicking the way the others moved around you.

“What is it you’re plotting with Asmo?” In order to keep the conversation between the two of you, he leaned down slightly to mutter in your ear - not close enough to raise any suspicions, but close enough that you could certainly feel just how much he had you in his grasp. Moments ago, he had already made you aware of his intentions, so the shocked expression on your face really had no right to be there. Still, he couldn’t say he didn’t find a sort of pleasure in the way he could practically hear your blood rush through your veins as you tried to keep up your facade of control. Unfortunately for the both of you, you were as easy to see through as you were frustrating.

“Let me make one thing clear,” He practically hissed, enjoying the way you shivered. “I respect my brothers’ freedom to do as they wish. However, if I ever sense that you’ve become a threat to Diavolo or us, then I will show you absolutely no mercy. Understood?”

Lucifer made sure to snake his arm around your back, holding you against him and gripping your hand with as much strength as he could without truly hurting you. He had effectively caged you in, making sure that you knew there was no escape from the way he knew things needed to be done. And you really needed to stop poking your nose into their business.

“I-I want to be good friends with all of you, Lucifer,” You answered, giving a pathetic tug to the hand in his grasp. Without responding, Lucifer narrowed his eyes at you and relaxed his grip slightly. Somehow, you proved yourself to be a bigger fool than he originally thought.

“Well, that is not what I want.”

He watched your face fall at that, and there was the strangest coil in his stomach at that reaction. What, had you genuinely thought you could just waltz into the Devildom and call the Demon Lords your pals? What would you even have to gain from that?

Before he could admonish you further, Solomon appeared from the crowd, offering you a smile that was so casual it could only be practiced. For just a moment, his eyes flickered to your waist, where Lucifer’s grip was still strong - Lucifer didn’t dare loosen up, lest Solomon think he had any shame in being “caught.”

When Solomon asked to steal you away, Lucifer obliged, sending you off with what could only be described as a warning glance. You seemed relieved to be in the hold of somebody else, and Lucifer couldn’t blame you. At least you seemed to have some common sense about you. Still, he couldn’t deny the way the coil in his stomach only got tighter.

He figured it was just a result of both human exchange students being massive headaches and did his best to brush it away.

Ah, don't you know all this shit is annoying me You're in my world now, away from reality As long as I can toy with you for just a moment Then I don't mind, if you aren't really mine

Perhaps Lucifer was a fool for thinking if he left you alone you wouldn’t fester.

You had managed to be so, so much worse than he ever expected you to be. It wasn’t enough to simply meddle in the affairs of the brothers so readily available to you - no, five demons were not enough to sate your endless need for trouble. So, in the few months you had been in the Devildom, you decided to somehow find the one brother he needed to keep hidden from you and, in the process of going against explicit orders, set Belphegor free and get yourself killed. For a moment, seeing your lifeless body in Mammon’s arms, Lucifer wasn’t sure what had thrown him off: seeing his brother free and knowing the punishment that was charging towards him fast enough that he didn’t know if he’d be able to stop it, or the mountain of paperwork that would surely come from this turn of events. Mammon’s desperate denial echoing through the entrance of their manor wasn’t exactly helping, either.

But then you did the only thing you did better than causing endless migraine for Lucifer: you fixed your mistakes and started building something better from them.

After you revealed yourself and let the brothers know that you were still alive - while also somehow airing everybody’s dirty laundry at once, something he made a note to talk to you about - he watched as somehow, slowly, his brothers looked at each other with the same appreciation they used to in the Celestial Realm, lurking just beneath the surface. Sure, there was still plenty of progress to be made, but he finally saw a fracture in the insurmountable mountain he had been facing for thousands of years - and it was all because of you.

With the churning feeling the thought brought him, he started to understand how love and hate were thought of as two sides of the same coin.

Leviathan could be found peeking out of his room slightly more often, gravitating to the room you were in with a handheld device and offering to show you what he was playing. Satan took his books out, too, sitting in the same room as you and occasionally casting what he thought were sneaky glances your way. Asmodeus insisted on spending more time with you in his own way, trying to hide the way he held your face in his hands a little longer than necessary by saying he was assessing the state of your skin. Beel seemed more open around you, occasionally dropping snacks in your lap without needing to be asked, giving you a look that seemed to both ask if you were alright and assure you that he was when you met eyes. Even Belphegor had warmed up to you, trying to sandwich himself in between you and anybody close to you or pulling you away to quieter spaces where he could nap in your presence. Lucifer watched as the unease gradually melted away from your expression with each attempt he made to get you alone, until you seemed to feel safe with him.

As usual, Mammon stayed by your side, especially in the days after your...incident. There were many times when you would sit on a couch in the common room, only for Mammon to come flying in moments later and sit so close to you he was practically on your lap. Lucifer bit his warnings for him to be careful back at least half of the time, deciding that this puppy-dog behavior at least seemed to be keeping the two of you out of trouble.

Trouble…

It only took your untimely death and a harsh reminder of just how close you had managed to get to his brothers to force him into realizing that trouble was all he ever thought you of. Lucifer couldn’t quite decipher why that left such a sour taste in his mouth. Perhaps it was the fact that since the incident with Belphegor, he had barely seen you. Honestly, he only saw you a fraction of the day compared to the amount of times he needed to usher you into his office to set you straight beforehand. As embarrassed as he was to be suffering through such...withdrawal, a long day of stress from his brothers had him summoning for you before dinner.

You only opened the door enough to squeeze yourself through, sneaking in as if he were a sleeping lion you shouldn’t dare to wake. He watched as you slowly made your way in front of his desk, fiddling with your fingers the way you did when you were nervous. Strange. As far as he knew, you hadn’t done anything wrong. He hoped that if you did, you had the wisdom to keep your mouth shut.

“You wanted to see me?” You asked in a small voice. Lucifer held you in a steady gaze, glad that Mammon decided not to follow you this time. He’d have known how much of an act this was from the get go and scold him for ‘making the move on his human.’

“Yes.” Lucifer took his sweet time shuffling through the papers on his desk, watching you through his peripheral vision. He could feel your stress levels rising as you waited for an unknown blow, watching as you subconsciously fidgeted the longer he let the silence go on. When he decided that he had teased you enough, he leaned back in his chair and said, “I merely wanted to see how our exchange student was doing.”

“H-huh?!” You asked. Indignation flashed on your face in the most wonderful display before quickly being taken over by your practiced calm facade. “O-oh, I’m fine, thanks.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Just fine?”

“Well….yeah. I’m good.”

Clearly, you weren’t one for conversation right now. With a sigh, he leaned back and thumbed through the papers on his desk again before pulling one out of the stack and placing it in front of him. Furrowing his eyebrows, he reached in his drawer and pulled out a small stack held together with a paperclip and dropped that one on top of the single sheet, holding back a smirk at the way you flinched.

“Good. Then I suppose we can get started on this paperwork about the whole accident.”

“What?!”

“Well, we still have to file an accidental death report. Or perhaps we should fill out an injury notice…? Ah, nevermind. It seems you’re up for both.”

He allowed you to turn on your heel and leave without another word. After staring at the now-empty space for a moment, he put the stack of absentee notices back in his drawer and continued on with his work.

It isn't jealousy or hate that made me act like that I'm not like her, so there's no need to get mad I know my way around this heat that we feel So don't worry, just enjoy Don't give me that look, boy!

You ran your hand down the side of your face, trying in futility to wipe the sleepiness from your mind. Sitting in the dimly lit office, you listened as Lucifer droned on about your test grade. The lecture had turned into a study session, which you appreciated, but it quickly turned back into a lecture after one too many mistakes on your part. You could see the irritation clear on his face, yet he was speaking to you as if you had just been caught plotting something treasonous against Diavolo.

You tried to huff quietly, but Lucifer’s sharp ears heard you. The stony glare he held you in woke you up instantly. “Oh, is this too boring? Perhaps that explains your performance.”

Already having been caught, you sighed. “No, Mammon has just been keeping me up lately.” It was too late in the night to think about how you accidentally ratted him out.

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed so you could only see the red seemingly glowing with the rage he was hardly holding back. Stopping the pacing he had taken up an hour ago, he turned towards you and took long strides to stand in front of the desk until he was beside his chair. You kept your sleepy gaze locked on his eyes, a silent challenge for him to back down. What would he do to the precious, fragile little human while they’re half asleep?

With a sigh, Lucifer closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, his own way of breaking the stare-off without really admitting defeat. “I should have known he had something to do with this.”

“Hey…” If Lucifer ended up punishing Mammon for your own slip-up with your grades, you’d be feeling guilty about it for weeks. “It wasn’t really his fault. I should know by now how much studying I need to do…”

“Hmph. Since this leads back to him, I suppose I have no choice. The two of you are banned from seeing each other until I can come up with a fitting punishment and study regimen to set you both straight.”

“What?” You stood up from your chair, not changing how he literally looked down on you but feeling as if you looked more imposing. “You can’t just do that!”

“I will do what I must to keep you on track, as is my responsibility.”

“You cannot forbid me from talking to your brothers. Besides, isn’t he supposed to be my guardian?”

“You have more pacts, should the need arise. If he insists on hoarding your time as he has, then-”

“Oh, is that what this is about? I didn’t expect you to be so jealous about it.” You scoffed. “Now you’re really being a Mammon.”

“Do not compare me to him in that way ever again!” He barked at you, slamming a hand down on the desk with a loud bang! That shut you up quickly, and you watched Lucifer warily in case he lost control of himself. For a brief moment, the human glamour surrounding him faded and you saw a flicker of his wings, feathers splayed out and bristled in his anger. “This study session has gotten away from us. You may turn in for the night.”

Despite his mighty anger, the time you spent with him and your inherent recklessness left you unable to cower. The longer you stayed in a stand-off, the more pointed your expression got until you were giving him the most doubtful expression he had ever seen on your face. “You know, I wouldn’t mind spending these nights with you if they didn’t always end with you yelling at me.”

As if on cue, the D.D.D. you left on the desk lit up, allowing Lucifer a glimpse of the many messages and calls left by none other than the second brother. Fighting back a grimace, he watched you snatch it up and collect your books in a hurry. Some of the papers crinkled as you shoved them into your bag, but he didn’t wince - he did play a part in your haste, after all.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out who you were going to vent to in a few minutes. Lucifer couldn’t bring himself to care, though, not when he had the distinct feeling he had ruined his chances at a goal he wasn’t aware he was trying to meet.

Love is just a feeling I do not need I can't take it so untie it as much as you please Close your eyes and stop your breath if you dare Even if this dream isn't yours, just keep dreaming it

He hadn’t intentionally softened up on you, yet he found that he took those words to heart.

After the incident in his office, you told him that you thought you’d study better on your own and improved your grade with your next test. In the weeks leading up to it, Lucifer could hardly get you to stop for him, only seeing you at dinner and when he would text you about urgent transfer student business. Even after he got word of your improved marks, he still had trouble getting to you for long enough to offer a proper congratulations. You really did prove yourself to be a ton of effort time and time again.

It wasn’t until you started to seek him out that he was able to properly communicate with you again.

You found him in the kitchen when he had dinner duty, on a rare night when he didn’t need to bribe someone to pick it up for him. He could feel your presence even with his back turned, aware of the way you leaned against the doorframe and crossed your arms. He finished chopping the ingredients on the cutting board in front of him before looking over his shoulder at you curiously.

“Need a hand?” You asked. Something in your voice was different - more confident. Lucifer could hear the challenge in it, even if the details still hadn’t made themselves known.

He gestured to the small pile of dishes in the sink, not about to turn your company away. You nodded and started to run the water, letting silence settle between you. Finding himself watching you for a few beats too long, Lucifer cleared his throat and turned his attention back to his chopped vegetables. He noticed that the second half were chopped a little more unevenly than the other pieces, and he quickly pushed them into the pan.

Clearly, you had taken a page from his book and decided to leave him in wait, biding your time before finally hitting him with your carefully chosen words. Unlike you normally were, he wasn’t on the edge of his seat, sweating in anticipation - but the longer the silence wore on, he found his patience wearing thin. Even if this performance of yours was amusing, he still found himself aggravated by just how far you thought you could push your luck.

Finally, you decided to speak up. “Have I been avoiding you these past few weeks?”

Lucifer didn’t let himself falter in stirring the pot on the stove. “I believe that’s a question only you know the answer to.”

“Hm. Well, I haven’t been meaning to.”

“Based on our last meeting, that much has been hard to tell.”

“Do you really think I’m so petty?” You turned the water on to rinse the bowl in your hands, forcing him to wait until responding.

“With so many strong personalities now bound to you in pacts, it’s hard to tell how their influence will manifest.”

You gave him a bitter laugh, shoving your hands in the water until your palms flattened out on the bottom of the sink. The warm water felt hotter on the skin on your forearms that hadn’t been able to build a tolerance to it. Even if your intent was not to start a petty argument, his intentions clearly didn’t align with yours.

“No, I think I have to solid a grasp on myself to let them do that to me.”

He said nothing, but you could hear his confident footsteps as he approached you. His gaze met yours in a silent challenge as he slid the cutting board in the water, unconsciously allowing himself to gravitate towards you. When he got too close for you, you grabbed a spatulat from the bottom of the sink and gently pressed the flat end against his chest to push him away. Lucifer glanced at his shirt, clearly miffed at the damp stripe across his chest.

“You know, Lucifer, if you want a pact with me, you just have to ask.”

For a moment, the expression on Lucifer’s face was too convoluted for you to make sense of. He certainly didn’t look caught off guard, but he also wasn’t as furious as you thought he’d be. With his eyebrows furrowed together and his gaze searching yours, you couldn’t figure out where his shock and confusion ended and his anger began. You cursed him and how he always seemed to have a grasp on what he let you know through his expressions alone.

Lucifer stood there, hoping that the confusion on your face wasn’t covering something else that would force you away from him. He couldn’t understand how you always managed to pierce through him and see directly into his mind. As he was coming to understand it, he did want a pact with you. Certainly not because he saw how close those brothers of his were to you now, though - he was not the avatar of envy, and he had nothing to be envious of, especially in regards to them - but the thought of his mark on your skin, the thought of you belonging to him in such a way was undeniably appealing.

However, every interaction with you didn’t seem to push him in the direction of ever obtaining such a relationship with you.

Quickly gathering his wits, he only scoffed and went back to his post on the other side of the kitchen. You turned towards your job, too. This time, he wasn’t the only one ruminating in stubborn silence.

I don't feel no guilt, oh, is that so wrong? Ah, instead of asking why don't you take me along? Just admit that I'm the best, now you see Love me till I hurt oh baby, come over here and set me free

Asmodeus: You won’t believe what I just found out about the succubus I was telling you about yesterday! Satan: Have you gotten to the seventeenth chapter yet? It really is the turning point, in my opinion. Leviathan: ok thx Lucifer, YOU S*CK!: Heh, yeah, that’ll be perfect. Mammon: Oi, are you even paying attention to me?!?

With a sigh, you turned your D.D.D. off without responding to the messages and tucked it back in your bag.You were already on your way to the House of Lamentation. The brothers could (and would) bother you the moment you walked through the door.

“I’ve sighed like that many times,” Lucifer said beside you, looking down at you with a polite half smile. “My brothers are hounding you again, no doubt.”

“Yeah...they’re quite...affectionate.”

“That is a word you could use,” He agreed. “Though sometimes, not the most accurate.”

You chuckled them, purposely averting your gaze. Part of Lucifer wanted to direct your attention back to him so he could watch the pretty blush that painted your cheeks as you laughed, but he kept his hands to his sides. It was so difficult anymore to know what you were thinking. The closer he got to you, the more he learned to find comfort in your presence, the more he found the pesky feeling of hope cloud his judgement and his crystal-clear vision. How could he be sure that, now that the two of you were finally on good terms, you weren’t comfortable with the relationship? It had been so long since Lucifer had to forge an entirely new relationship, and he had the world’s most troublesome (or second most troublesome, considering your competition) human to work with. Though he was never one to question his own judgement, he still couldn’t help but tsk at the sheer absurdity of the task.

“This is probably the most peaceful walk home I’ve had in a while. It’s astonishing how easy they make getting caught up in trouble on the way seem.”

“Is that why the other day you seemed so shocked when we told you the walk was only a few minutes?”

You chuckled again. “Yeah. All the detours make it seem longer.”

“Perhaps one of these days, I should take you on a detour of my own then?” When you stopped walking, he turned back to give you a sly smile. “I’m not one to be bested by my brothers, you know.”

“Wow, ruthless,” You began walking again and fiddled with your backpack strap nervously. “Maybe I should be the one to plan it, though. I’m not entirely convinced your version of a detour wouldn’t involve more paperwork.”

“Shall I be looking forward to this date, then?” Lucifer could feel the embarrassment radiating off of you. He loved to make you this flustered, so he could realign his sights while you were too preoccupied to hide behind anything. And you just so happened to be unbearably cute with your face turning red. The way you muttered ‘yes’ and dashed up the steps to the house had him preening.

Love is just a feeling I do not need I can't handle it so I'll go on tirelessly Close your eyes and feel me breathe down your neck Even if this dream isn't yours just keep dreaming it

Bit by bit, Lucifer found himself finally, finally getting closer to you without any unpleasant endings. (Well, save for the ones where one of his brothers interrupted and dragged you away, but the two of you shared a fondness for their shenanigans that made it difficult to stay mad at them.)

Or, well...staying mad at them was difficult for you/.

Lucifer wasn’t upset with his brothers, but there was a certain frustration bubbling up beneath the surface that he had to wrestle down every time he had a moment to wonder about their actions. He couldn’t blame them for wanting to spend time with you - after all, he himself was trying to make himself time in your schedule. Not only that, but the ever-approaching end of the semester was looming over them, and everyone could feel the desperate attempts to get one last bid for your affections in before you left. The whole situation was rather distracting, his far-wandering thoughts only adding to the time he spent hunched over his desk instead of out with you.

Lucifer was not a man to waste time bemoaning facts that he could not change. That did not mean he was immune from all feelings of doubt or irritation. He might have been able to concentrate if there wasn’t such a pesky thought creeping up on him the second he let his mind stray from his papers. Still, he couldn’t help the ugly sensation of being caught in a competition where he might actually be losing.

Though he had faith in your tenacity - that and your boldness were truly qualities to marvel at - Lucifer did wonder just how much you valued availability. He thought that the two of you had come to a silent agreement - that you thought alike, that you felt alike - but as much as he knew what happened beyond the door to his office, you remained the enigma.

It would be so easy if he could just get you to admit that he was the one you thought of above all the others. The desire for such a simple statement, he hid with faux aggravation at your refusal to admit such a simple task. As much as he tried to convince himself that you were hanging out with the others as a replacement for him, he knew just how much and how uniquely you valued the others.

He didn’t need to use force to get what he wanted, but he was slightly accustomed to nothing standing strong in the presence of his power. You, however, never bowed, and it grated at him how much he wanted to rightfully earn that place in your heart and how difficult it was to just get you to say it.

His thoughts distracted him from his papers, his papers distracted him from his thoughts. They all distracted him from you, aside from when he wondered if you were thinking something similar about him.

Are you really asking why you're alone? Turned your back on me and I get why you don't want more Come back, hold me, dear, love me till I scream

Your departure was approaching, and Lucifer found himself alone.

His moments not spent on work or cleaning up after his brothers were normally spent with you. Unless, of course, those moments happened in the early hours of the morning and he should be dead on his pillow.

Perhaps if he found himself graced with your presence, he wouldn’t have slept anyway. It wasn’t sleep he was chasing, after all, but you. You were the one he was vying for, even if his pursuit felt less romantic and more like running after a wild goose. No good things came easy, he told himself. He didn’t need easy.

But your longing glances were getting harder to pull away from, and the days until you left were already in the single digits. It was hard enough to steal you away for a moment, let alone enough time to lay his intentions bare and finally get what you both wanted.

He hated the thought that he had let you take the lead in the relationship in a roundabout sense, so he preoccupied himself with anger over having to do all the hard work himself.

He could list off all the reasons you would return to him, the obvious choice, for hours if asked, and even then only put a dent in the miles of options. The fact that he even considered justifying himself to anyone felt foreign, but he let his mind settle on the thought anyway. Still, it didn’t go unnoticed how you didn’t try to leave the sides of his other brothers, how nobody bothered to knock on his door anymore, too preoccupied with you. He missed you already, and he hadn’t even seen you off yet.

Lucifer knew that you’d come to him eventually. He didn’t doubt you, and he certainly didn’t doubt himself. But you had a habit of making him wait and wonder.

He was just about tired of waiting, he was tired of wondering, and he didn’t know if he could take another dream that only left him more confused than he was when he fell asleep.

Don't you ever wake up baby, keep on dreaming our dream

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

NSFW (whole alphabet) for Maul?

A/N: PLEASE REMEMBER TO COMMENT AND REBLOG IF YOU LIKE THIS! HEADCANONS NEED LOVE TOO YOU KNOW! (Also the tags are not working because they hate me)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s gentle, shockingly so. No matter how rough or intense, his entire demeanor shifts.  He treats you like glass; caressing your skin, cleaning your mess, and reveling in the lingering warmth. He becomes one clingy bitch is what I’m getting at here. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your throat.  He loves how you leave it so open to him, to kiss or bite or squeeze as he wishes.  It’s a sign of trust, not to mention it leads down to your chests and all the other soft parts attached. (He’s a boob man, that’s all I’m saying)

As for himself, he likes his hands. They still hold his true strength. They can still wield the force to his will; to destroy his enemies or to place a gentle touch to your cheek.  He’s amazed that you can allow him to touch you after how much his hands have done. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He makes a mess whenever you fuck.  He likes to cum on you; on your tits, stomach, back, face, anywhere.  But he really loves cumming inside you and watching it drip from your sex.  Even if he can’t give you children, the idea of burying his seed in you is an instinct he can’t shake.  Would love nothing more than to keep his cock inside you and fill you again and again with him cum until it spills out on the bed.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There are times he purposefully makes you angry because he knows how you’ll punish him later.  He’s not sure if you’ve caught on or not, but either way you play into his scheme perfectly.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very before you.  He was taken by Sidious at a very young age; as a Sith he was trained to forgo attachments and obey his master at every turn.  Sidious would not allow his apprentice any chance to form a connection with another aside from taking him back to Dathomir to fulfill a coming of age ritual where he was taken by a Night Sister.  After that, nothing. 

But, for what he lacks in experience, he makes up for in his willingness to learn.  He asks what you want, what you like.  He feels your reactions through the force and demonstrates a control you hadn’t found in previous lovers.  He can be patient when it counts.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves it when you’re both kneeling, with you straddling his waist a he thrusts up into you.  He’s able to reach deep inside you while allowing either of you to gain control as you wish it.  Not to mention easy access to your throat and breasts as he clings to you. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Maul is 99.9% of the time completely serious during sex.  Either his focus is entire on your pleasure or you’ve given him permission to work out his frustrations using your body.  The only time he’d crack a joke is if he’s feels particularly smug about the way he’s making you feels and wants to tease you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

No hair down below, because, well...he doesn’t really have a natural below.  I doubt Mother Talzin added hair just for the fun of it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

As I said before Maul has two modes; I need to fuck away my feelings OR you are the most important thing in the galaxy let me show you why.  When he’s in mode two, he’s the most intimate and romantic partner you can ask for, almost desperate in his attempt to show you how you make him feel.  If it’s option one, you’ll have to wait until after the sex to get the same treatment.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Pre-Naboo, he kept it on the down low.  He could only allow himself a moment’s release when his master wasn’t around.  And even then, it was only when he was particularly stressed or angry.  It was done quickly with no real thought of pleasure, just some kind of release if he couldn’t do it through violence.

After Naboo, it’s not really something he does because well...there’s not much down there for a good long while and after he gets some of his...parts back, he meets you.  With you, he doesn’t feel as compelled to use his hands.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding kink.  He can’t give you children, obviously, but there’s an almost instinct there.  Just another thing Kenobi took away form him.

Also, not sure if it’s a kink, but he’s an absolute switch.  One minute he’s squeezing your neck while using you as his personal cum bucket.  The next, he’s tied to the bed begging and promising you the galaxy if you just let him cum.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’s a bit of an exhibitionist. As much as he wants to be the only one to see you naked and writhing underneath him, there’s something about fucking you on the throne of Mandalor that sends a thrill up his spine.  Anyone can walk in and know that he’s the one making you feel this way.  He has the power to fuck you in front of the whole of Death Watch if he wanted to and none of them could touch you.  They would know you were his and as their leader they would not dare oppose him.

So, in terms of most common place, your bedroom.  In terms of most thrilling place, the throne room, followed by the war room, and then the training room.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You getting angry is the hottest thing in the galaxy to him.  If you direct that anger into destroying your enemies in combat, even better.  He’ll take you the second you’re alone in the ship.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Roleplaying.  It’s you and him, that’s it.  He doesn’t want or need to “spice things up”.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers giving.  He loves your taste and how easily he can get you to cum with just his tongue.  He can feel your pleasure through the force which only drives his further.  Granted he needs to be mindful of where his horns are when you clamp him head between your thighs but that’s neither here nor there.

He’ll certainly accept you going down on him, but he knows it’s not as pleasurable for you to have a metal cock in your mouth no matter how good it feels for him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He can be slow an sensual, but it almost always devolves into rough desperation.  He’s a man of wild passions and it shows in the marks on your thighs the next morning.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

You’re almost always the one to initiate them.  He says he can wait until the evening, but he’s often left working well into the night and forgets.  You take it upon yourself to strive into his office and tell him you need a good fuck.  That will get him away from the paper work long enough to leave your legs shaking and his mind a little more clear.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s willing to try something you propose so long as you discuss it properly before hand.  He wants to make sure you’re safe before trying anything.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

It’s absolutely insane how high his stamina is.  For one, he’s got a mechanical cock that doesn’t actually get soft even after he cums.  Second, his reliance on the force allows him to recoup faster than normal.  He can go for an many rounds as you can stand for as long as you want.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

That will be a negative.  He doesn’t have any toys and the idea of you having a toy when all you have to do is ask he finds more than a little insulting.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He always does it when he’s trying to win an argument or make a point, and it’s infuriating.  He likes hearing you beg or admit he was right all while he teases you clit with the promise of more.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Maul gets loud.  It’s almost a defiance.  His master would not allow him anything like this singular happiness with another being and now he’s taking it at his own pleasure.  He screams and growls and moans and begs and every other noise in the book.  He wants people to hear.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Maul wants to have kids with you, and that fact that he can’t really aches at him.  He wants something that is truly his own; a legacy outside of the Sith, a final defiance to the master who abandoned him.  They would be the best of both of you and unparalleled in their power.  Nothing would stand in their way.  He can see it in his minds eye every time you fall asleep in his arms.  But, it can never be.  If Mother Talzin had figured out a way to make life without the need of Zabrak men, he wouldn’t have been a Night Brother in the first place.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Like I’ve said, Maul’s entire lower half is mechanical, including his cock.  Mother Talzin made him one which retracts back in when he’s not aroused.  It’s shaped like a Zabrak male: three ridges, each wider than the last giving him good length and girth (look up Nova: Bad Dragon). It also gives him pleasure, which is better than a dilo and excretes a synthetic cum when he climaxes.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s not so much a sex drive as a yearning for you.  There are times he just wants you, to hold you close, to bury himself inside you and forget anything exists outside of you.  It’s in flux, but it’s certainly higher than most men you’ve known.  You’re having sex at least every other night if not more.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t dare fall asleep until you do.  He likes the feeling of your body relaxing beside his as you drift off. He likes knowing you trust him to keep you safe, even in sleep.  Only when he knows there’s nothing lurking in the dark to take you away does he finally fall asleep.

[the-silentium]

In the end

Masterlist

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Words: 1350 words

Warnings: TUA season 2 spoilers, violence.

Requested by: @princess00wifi​

Can I pls request five x reader (they worked in the commission together) where they finally fix the timeline and solve the apocalypse? They can finally just be calm and happy together (maybe five gets that nap he so desperately needs) and it’s just super fluffy🥺👉👈

A/N: YES YOU CAN! I loove when people make request, it gives me more will to write. Thanks for the ask  ❤  Again, Five is an adult!

Gif is not mine, credits to the owner (if it’s you, please let me know) ❤

It took a while to get used to it. For as far as he could remember, he has always been a fighter. Every overwhelming training sessions Sir Hargreeves had forced upon him had prepared him to fight criminals with easy success. His time in the apocalypse made him an expert in survival, while his time at the Commission had perfected his killing skills. At one point, he considered that every cell of his being was made to kill and to kill only. 

This is why lounging in the grass at the feet of a century-old oak was so foreign to Five. At first. 

Your presence helped him ease into his new life. Your carefree spirit mixed with your affection played a great role in soothing his sore muscles, relaxing his mind, calming his murderous tendencies, and thawing his heart of ice. 

When he would snap at one of his siblings for no reason at all, you would get to his side, intertwine your fingers with his and slightly draw shapes on the back of his hands. When he couldn't find the right equation to execute a perfect time jump, causing him to get mad from a headache, you would sit on his lap and massage his skull tenderly with your oh-so-delicate fingers. When he felt like dying under all the pressure of the Commission trying to kill him and his family, the apocalypse menacing to kill all those who were important to him and finding how to stop said apocalypse without a clue on how to do it, you would prepare him one of your special coffee pot, would smile at him and remind him your mantra. Life has an odd way of making things work out in the end. You would then hug him and whisper in his ear that no matter what, you were always there to help and have his back. He never knew why, but all of your simple gestures always managed to appease him. You could do things that would normally infuriate him to no end if another person was to do them, but when it was you… It felt good.

You two had met at the Commission. You were assigned to show him around, evaluate his potential in the different departments and train him in said department. One of your greatest qualities was that you had trained in every department of the Commission, making you very handy when new promising employees were hired. Five has been genuinely surprised when he discovered that your own predilection department was in the field. He never thought that a bubbly and sweet person like you could kill people for a living. You had simply shrugged and hit him square in the face. 

Since he got to know you better. You were incredibly smart and effective. Cheeky and confident. The Commission often praised your work and liked to call you one of their best, although sometimes you would lose track of your briefcases. It was your greatest weakness, one that would never fail to exasperate Five. After losing almost 10 briefcases, the Commission started to put trackers on yours so you could find them at the end of your mission and stop costing them thousands of dollars. 

Five hated to admit it, but he could never have beaten the Commission and restored the timeline without your help. All this time, you were 3 moves ahead of everyone. 

In your time as an Infinite Switchboard Operator, you had discovered that the 2019 apocalypse was an inevitable one. What Number Seven -Vanya- had suffered through her childhood was irreversible and definitive. You had tried different scenarios to prevent the 2019 apocalypse, even one where you killed Sir Reginald Hargreeves, but every one of them led to the same fate. The end of the world. 

Then you decided to let the events of 2019 happen and play with what was next. You saw all the potential in the Hargreeves family and decided to join forces. Seeing that briefcases were the biggest problem in this timeline, you deliberately lost your briefcases in different strategic points in time, where you could easily get to them without the Commission knowing. 

This was how you had saved their asses. You had offered them the lost briefcases before they got the time to meet their father of this timeline. You knew how this meeting affected their own timeline and you were definitely a pro-Umbrella Academy and a con-Sparrow Academy. 

Then with the help of Five who eliminated the previous Commission's board and managed to finally kill the Handler for good, you made sure that the new heads of the corporation were apocalypse-tendencies-free.

"You're pretty deep in that head of yours, uh?" Your amused tone along with your soft fingers combing his hair brang Five back to reality. His gaze found yours and just like every time he did, his heartbeat quickened in his chest. He couldn't be happy enough that he finally found the right maths to time travel to reach a 30 years old body and go back to you as an adult. To his displeasure, you had stopped being touchy with him when he was stuck in his 13-year-old self. 

"You can say that." He moved a strand of hair behind your ear lovingly. They were back in their respective timeline for 3 years now. They had survived the isolation of 2020 together, not that they minded, and lived together since. 

Thunder rumbled in the distance, warning the two former assassins that the thunderstorm was finally making its way to them. Five sighed, displeased that you hurried to disentangle yourself from him. A soft rain had started falling, the intensity growing with each minute. 

The old tree offered the perfect protection to the space-time traveler. Not a single droplet reached his clothes or skin, thanks to the thick foliage. From his dry spot, Five chuckled at your antics. You were running under the rain, your arms wide open, completely soaked but happy and serene. 

Another thunder resonated and Five got to his feet. The cold rain hitting his skin and infiltrating his clothes made him tense. He hoped you won't insist too much to stay outside. Now at your side, he got ahold of your hand and tried to pull you with him towards your shared home. As expected, you pulled on your hand to free yourself, but not to avail. Five's grip was of iron, but not hurting. 

"Come on Five! I want to enjoy the rain!" You pouted, joining your hands behind his neck in a slack embrace. His hand never left yours. 

"The thunderstorm is coming. It's unsafe and you'll get sick in all this rain." He tried to reason you. He knew he failed when you smiled in return. 

"But I have my umbrella with me." You chuckled while tracing the umbrella tattoo on his wrist with your fingertips. Five rolled his eyes but kissed your lips nonetheless. He would never admit it to you, but he loved your cheekiness. 

The thunder was getting closer and Five didn't like it one bit. He closed his fists and jumped with you into the house. 

"Party pooper." You pouted. Five rolled his eyes and jumped again, this time landing both of you in the shower. Quickly, he opened the water and chuckled at your surprised scream. "That's cold!" Your body collided with his, the feeling of wet clothes disturbing Five. You reached behind him to adjust the water temperature and soon both your clothes fell to the ground, forgotten until the next day. 

Every day during his 45 years stuck in the apocalypse Five had hated himself for disobeying his father. For 3 years now, he thanks the universe for his stubbornness. 

Every night when you fell asleep in his arms, Five is grateful that despite all he has done, despite his abrasive exterior and despite all the chaos he brang into your life, you still want him. 

Life has a beautiful way of making things work out in the end.

[t0wnspersonb]

Don’t Hold Back (Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader)

Anonymous said:

Hi there 🦋anon here! Would It be posible to request a scenario in which iwizumi s/o is an ice skater and she has a pretty bad fall during a competition resulting in her getting her ankle pretty bad injured and has a result is not allowed to skate for months. As a consequence she starts doubting her abilities for sports, she is scared of junping and making figures and tries to hide it from him until one day she collapses unable to hold it back anymore but iwa is still there for her? Please!

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Word Count: 2,171

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I apologize if this is absolute shit anon and that it took so long for me to write it😭😭😭 I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything new so I apologize for that too! I’ll hopefully be updating more, I’m finally looking through my inbox and seeing what I want to write. I’ll be doing two more requests before I close it. I have a couple more stories I want to get out. I will let you guys know when I’ll be taking more requests! I hope you guys like this one and please give me some feedback:)

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“Does that hurt?” the doctor looked at you expectantly, carefully rotating your ankle.

 You shook your head.

 “Good. It looks like the physical therapy has paid off. I was worried that the surgeries weren’t -”

 You had stopped listening at that point, your eyes trained on the window behind the doctor. A brightly colored butterfly floated effortlessly in the wind, its wings beating softly as it fluttered about.

 That was how you were on the ice; it was effortless, elegant, beautiful, it was everything that butterfly was… until you ruined it all.

 Six months.

 You haven't skated in six months.

 All because of your ruined ankle.

 After three surgeries, countless hours of physical therapy, heartache, and far too many tears, you were finally at this moment.

 So then why did you feel so incredibly empty?

 Why weren’t you excited?

 “- with the right precautions and easing your way back in, I don’t see why you can’t begin skating.” the doctor finished, giving you an encouraging smile. 

 “O-Oh. Really?” you stuttered out nervously.

 “Of course. But like I said, you need to ease your way in, I don’t recommend doing any competitions just yet. But an hour or two on the ice won’t hurt.” He said thoughtfully.

 You simply nodded.

 The rest of the checkup finished in a blur and you found yourself walking on the sidewalk, deep in thought.

 It was wintertime, your hands were stuffed deep into your coat pockets as you trudged through the snow.

 Normally you loved this kind of weather, but recently… recently the gloomy weather seemed to seep into your very being, leaving you exhausted and cold.

 “Hey.” a familiar voice called out, you looked up to see Iwaizumi leaning against the entrance to the park you were planning to go to. A place you often frequented when you wanted to be alone, when you wanted to think.

 “Hi.” you said quietly, walking towards the tall ace. Iwaizumi didn’t say anything as you pressed your head into his chest, nor did he make any movement to pull you closer.

 You guys just stood there.

 “Why didn’t you text me back? I was going to pick you up from the hospital.” he finally said once you pulled away.

 You guys began making your way into the park, sitting down on the swings.

 “I’m sorry.” You said softly, eyes casting up to the dark sky. It was snowing again, meaning that you should head home soon. “I didn’t even bother looking at my phone. Too much on my mind.”

 “Well what did the doctor say?” he asked, his gloved hands holding onto the chains linked to the seat.

 “Said I could start skating again. Slowly. No competitions for a while.” You said, frowning slightly.

 “That’s good though. You haven’t been on the ice in months.” Iwaizumi said pointedly.

 “Yeah. It just seems weird… like it’s been years rather than months.” You sighed.

 You felt a gloved hand gently pull a strand of hair away from your face. Iwaizumi gazed at you with a soft expression.

 “Well don’t push yourself. We don’t need you falling again and breaking your ass or something.” he said, smirking as you laughed at his statement.

 “Or something.” You repeated, eyes glancing down at your snow-covered shoes now. 

 “Shut up.” he rolled his eyes, tousling your hair, causing you to pout and push at him. “It’s going to be fine. You need to calm down. I better get going, Crappykawa wants everyone to meet up for practice early today.” 

 He stood up, dusting the snow off his pants before he grabbed the chains right above your hands, he leaned down closer to your face.

 “Kiss me.” he demanded, staring into your blushing face, while you wanted to blame it on the freezing weather, both of you knew exactly why you were blushing.

 “This is a public place.” you countered back, your heart racing in your chest at his demand, and how close he was to you.

 All thoughts of skating and your injury went out of your mind, and all you could think about was Iwaizumi now.

 The sly bastard.

 He knew you too well.

 “And?” he scoffed, carefully grabbing your chin. “You’re my girlfriend. It’s not like that’s indecent.”

 Before you could counter his lips were already on yours. They were cold and slightly chapped, but his mouth fitted against yours perfectly. He angled your face up more, causing the kiss to deepen.

 Your hands gripped at the front of his coat, either to pull him closer or to shove him away, you weren’t sure. But the kiss ended far too soon for your liking.

 “Get home safe. I’ll call you after practice.” he said huskily, pressing his lips to your forehead briefly before pulling away completely.

 That man was incredibly infuriating. 

 But you loved him anyway.

 It was like fate the way you guys ended up dating. Your friend had dragged you to one of Aoba Johsai’s games, she was crazy over their captain and had hoped to talk to him afterwards.

 But you were completely disinterested, you couldn’t care less about the sport, or any sport for that matter. If it didn’t involve figure skating, it didn’t matter to you.

 And then you saw him play.

 You were always a sucker for muscular ruffians. It was his arms that drew you in.

 When the team won, you and your friend found yourself in front of the captain of the team and captain muscles.

 Once you laughed at his ridiculous comments aimed at Oikawa, the rest was history. You guys hit it off instantly and soon began dating.

 You thought that it was going to be hard at first, considering how busy you guys were, but it worked out somehow.

 You appreciated all the effort and support he put in the relationship. Iwaizumi was your rock, a constant comfort in your life.

 You knew that he was worried about you, ever since your injury you knew you were being distant but… you couldn’t help it. You also didn’t mean to either. It just happened.

 Figure skating was your entire life, something that you’ve done since you were little. You were damn good at it too. It was the competition right before nationals when you injured your ankle.

 You were crushed.

 It was a simple mistake too. A jump that caused your complete downfall. 

 You didn’t want to skate anymore. You didn’t want to taste that humiliating defeat again, you didn’t want to feel powerless anymore. You remembered the comments, the circling doubt that after you healed, you wouldn’t be in the top anymore.

 You hated it all.

 So then why were you here?

 You stared at the rink, the ice was smooth and ready to be used… but… you felt sick to your stomach.

 It had been several weeks since the doctor’s visit. 

 You wanted to get out of the house for a bit and then you found yourself here, at the skating rink. Where you had spent countless hours and countless days practicing.

 But it was now or, never right?

 You had to find out. This was the moment that was going to determine if you were going to continue skating.

 Carefully you set yourself on the ice. Your lower lip ached from the way you were biting it so hard. 

 Then you started to move, gliding against the ice easily, like a fish in water. 

 It felt familiar. 

 It felt good.

 It felt free.

 You felt truly free in this moment, your eyes slipping shut as you moved around.

 Maybe… maybe you could still do this. Your heart has never felt lighter until now.

 This was what you were missing. 

 Feeling a bit more confident, you decided to try a triple Salchow. 

 Your form was wonderful, the spins were graceful… but then. Fuck. You panicked when it came to the landing which caused you to fall on your bad ankle.

 You could feel your lower lip quiver as you stared at your hands placed on the ice. Your ankle throbbed in pain for a moment before subsiding.

 But your heart was throbbing in pain now. 

 You couldn’t do it. 

 You failed.

 Again.

 Frustration and anger gripped at your heart; tears were now falling onto the ice below you. 

 You screamed, your hand balling up into a fist, your knuckles slamming down into the ice as you cried out in anger.

 You didn’t even notice the pain in your hand now, nor the blood dripping down your fingers when your skin split. 

 “Y/n!” a strong familiar hand grabbed your bloody fist, preventing you from hurting yourself further.

 You looked up into familiar dark eyes. Iwaizumi was staring at you in worry. 

 “What are you doing?” he scolded, tenderly uncurling your fist, assessing the damage. “You idiot! Look at your hand! Why would you do this to yourself?”

 “I can’t do this anymore.” you whispered angrily, wiping at your eyes with your good hand.

 “What are you talking about?” He frowned.

 “I can’t skate anymore Hajime!” You wailed out, the emotions you were suppressing, the emotions you kept hidden from him, came bursting out. “I can’t do this! I’m not good anymore! I failed! I can’t jump! How can I be a figure skater when I can’t jump!? I’m a failure!”

 “SHUT UP!” Iwaizumi roared, causing your hysterical words to die down. Was he… was he actually mad at you right now?

 “You’re being stupid.” he scowled, his eyes gazing at you with intensity. “Of course, you can’t jump right now. You just got the okay from your doctor to start skating again! You shouldn’t even be trying to jump right now!”

 You sniffed softly, remaining silent as he continued to scold you. 

 “You were supposed to ease into it! If you mess up your ankle again you definitely won’t be able to skate anymore, is that what you want!?”

 “How can I start skating again when I know I’ll just fail! How can I start skating again when everyone in the competition believes that I can’t make it!?” you snapped back, tears welling up in your eyes again.

 Iwaizumi’s angry expression melted into something incredibly soft as he stared at your tearstained face. 

 “What are you talking about babe?” he cupped your jaw carefully, gently titling your face up so he could look at you properly. “You’re not a failure. No one is doubting your abilities but yourself.” his rough fingers wiped at your tears softly. “So, what that you injured yourself? Accidents like that happen all the time. Look at Shittykawa and his knee. An injury isn’t a reflection of what you’re capable of. Everyone knows that you’re an amazing figure skater. Everyone is waiting for you to get back on the ice. But you can’t rush it.”

 His eyes softened further as he took in your beautiful face. “You need to take things slow; I won’t let you injure yourself again. I definitely won’t let you quit either. Besides you really think that I would be dating you if you weren’t an incredible athlete? I don’t date losers babe.” he teased, smiling once you began giggling softly at his statement.

 He pulled you into a gentle hug, his muscular arms securing around your shoulders easily, pulling you against his chest.

 Your fingers gripped at the sides of his jacket, burying your face into his warm chest. His familiar cologne filled your nose, easing the tightness in your chest and filling you with warmth.

 “Don’t hide your feelings from me.” he mumbled, a soft blush coating his cheeks as he stared off towards the far wall. “I want you to tell me these things. Don’t keep me in the dark, I can’t be a good boyfriend if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you.”

 He grabbed your shoulders, carefully pushing you away so he could stare at you once more. “Rely on me more.”

 You stared at him in awe. Your heart thumping in your chest pleasantly. Iwaizumi was the epitome of your ideal man. You loved him completely.

 “You’re so manly Haji.” You blurted out, red rushing to your cheeks at your confession.

 “S-Shut up stupid!” he scowled, looking away from you. He liked that though, he liked that a lot, fuck why were you so cute?

 You couldn’t help but reach up, softly pecking his flushed cheek. He looked at you in shock until he grabbed your face, his mouth pressing against yours in a searing kiss.

 The kiss spoke volumes in how you guys felt about each other. The admiration of each other's strengths, the mutual adoration and love you guys shared. It was all said in that kiss.

 “That’s disgusting Iwa-chan! Other people use this rink!” a familiar voice called out. 

 The kiss ended all too soon, and your sweet boyfriend turned incredibly angry.

 “Shut the hell up Shittykawa! You’re such a crappy guy! At least I have a girlfriend!” he snapped angrily. 

 “That’s mean Iwa-chan!” 

 “Go die!”

 He was definitely the man of your dreams.

[youreacowgirllikeme]

Hesitant

note: this is a request from @jaketapperstan, I hope you like it :)

words: 3k

warnings: swearing, alcohol, smut

enjoy :)

„Oh my god, I love that song. “your colleague exclaimed, grabbing you hand as she tried to drag you to the dance floor.

You rolled your eyes at her, staying rooted to the spot.

“Sorry, but there’s no way in hell I’m doing that. I don’t want to make a fool of myself after only three months here.” you called over the sound of the music.

First and foremost, you didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself in front of him. Your boss, Jake Tapper, had been a constant presence in your mind since you first set eyes on him.

You had known him, from watching his shows, of course, but meeting the man in person had been an entirely different thing.

//

“Jake, come over and meet Y/N. She’s the newest member of our production team, it’s her first day today.”

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest when he approached you. He was tall, and surprisingly casual without a tie, the sleeves of his white dress shirt rolled up. You almost didn’t recognize him. But it was the air of effortless confidence that surrounded the man that instantly made you feel drawn to him.

“Pleasure to meet you and welcome to the team.” Jake said, shaking your hand, the grasp of his large hand firm around your much smaller one. You felt like his eyes looked right into your soul, and you weren’t sure if you enjoyed being perceived by this man.

You awkwardly mumbled a reply, something about how grateful you were for this opportunity and that you were looking forward to working here.

Jake replied something, but you didn’t listen, you were too captivated by his face and the way it got lit up by his smile .

//

The crush you had developed in that moment had only grown stronger in the three months you were working at CNN now.

It was infuriating, you could barely function like a normal human being around him. The fact that he was your boss, and therefore totally unattainable made everything so much worse. You loved your job, no way you would ever put it on the line by hitting on Jake Tapper.

But no matter how often you told that to yourself, every time he entered a room, your heart rate instantly went up and your stomach dropped.

In conversations, you, usually blessed with a quick mouth, got shy and awkward, stumbling over your words like a teenager in front of her first crush. His presence just rendered you completely useless.

Frankly, it was embarrassing, and there was no need to add to that by dancing tonight and risking him seeing it.

It was the 40th birthday of some senior producer, and he had invited the whole team to celebrate with him at a great club in downtown DC.

You weren’t usually a big club goer, but it was nice enough and some drinks had relaxed you enough to aimlessly sway around to the rhythm of the music.

Suddenly, you could make out a too familiar voice over the noise of the crowd, and a chill went through you.

“Enjoying the party, Y/N?”

It was Jake. He had shed his anchor attire and was wearing a black button-down shirt you had never seen on him before. His hair was tousled and there was a faint blush on his cheeks that indicated that he already had his fair share of drinks.

He leaned against the wall beside you, and you couldn’t remember ever seeing him so relaxed and informal, no sign of his usually composed behavior. It was slightly unsettling, but he looked so sexy that you couldn’t tear your eyes off him.

“It’s alright, I guess. I’m not a big party person. How about you?”

You tried your best to speak over the music without screaming at Jake.

He leaned down a bit, angling his head closer to yours.

“I really like the company.” He said, and the timbre of his voice made shiver.

“Tell me, Y/N, how have you been? We barely had any chance to talk to each other in the last weeks.”

You weren’t sure if the warmth spreading through your body was because of the alcohol or Jakes close proximity, probably a mixture of both. But it definitely made it hard to focus on anything apart from his body, now only about a foot away from yours.

“Uhm, yeah, it’s been great, thanks for asking, I appreciate it.” you murmured.

“Do you wanna go somewhere in the back where it’s quiet? We could talk there?” Jake suggested.

Your heart was picking up speed, being alone with him was dangerous territory. But the drinks you had gave you the necessary courage to nod and follow him to one of the booths in the far back of the bar, where the music wasn’t as ear-piercing.

Instead of sitting down opposite from you, Jake slid in the seat next to you, close enough that his leg was brushing against yours. He was so comfortable around that it was easy to forget that he was still your superior.

“So,” he spoke, turning his body to face you “why do you spend the party on the sideline talking to old men like me instead of dancing with your friends?”

“Stop it, you’re not old. And it’s because I don’t like dancing, I look like an idiot.” You paused a moment. “And I enjoy talking to you.”

It was true, despite your awkward stammering, the conversations you had managed to have with Jake had always been great, he was a good listener and an even better talker. He had a way of making even the most trivial facts sound memorable and interesting.

“That’s good for me, I guess. Not that I wouldn’t enjoy seeing you on the dance floor but having you all to myself for a change is nice.” Jake replied, and the way he was talking to you radiated an easy confidence that was simply captivating.

You could feel the heat creep up your neck, he looked at you like he had really meant what he said, even in the dim light of the bar you could see that glint in his eyes. He was clearly hitting on you, and that fact was as thrilling as it was terrifying.

“What do you want to know, then? Not that you have me all for yourself?” You asked, putting on a nonchalant face to hide your inner turmoil.

Jake laid one of his arms on the backrest behind you, his hand just hovering over you. You shivered slightly, not from cold but from having Jakes fingers that close to the bare skin of your shoulder. He was clearly doing this on purpose, and it worked.

“Oh, I wanna know everything about you.” He murmured, and his hand reached out to let his fingers trail across the junction of your neck and shoulder.

Feeling his touch made your body shiver and your mind go blank, overwhelmed by the entire situation.

The burning longing in your stomach intensified and knew that you had to put a stop to this right now, before things got out of control.

You had never crushed on anyone so hard, but he was your boss. You repeated those words over and over in your head to prevent yourself from simply leaning into Jake and take him up on whatever he was offering you. You couldn’t just hook up with him in a bar while he was so obviously drunk.

“Jake, I’m sorry, but I have to go now.” You tried to make your voice sound steady, and resolute, even if you wanted nothing more than for Jake to just grab you and make you stay with him for the rest of the night.

Jake looked taken aback, but still got out of his seat, making room for you to step out of the booth.

“Everything alright?” he asked, “You need someone to take you home?”

“I’m fine. I’ll see you on Monday, have a good rest of the night.” You rambled, before all but fleeing the bar without saying goodbye to anyone else.

You walked almost a block before you stopped, taking some deep breaths to calm your racing heart.

You just had a far from innocent encounter with your boss, and now you wanted him even more.

+++

You had spent the whole weekend dreading going back to work on Monday.

You weren’t sure which outcome was worse, Jake being offended by the rejection or the possibility that he regretted even trying to hit on you.

Also, you couldn’t stop thinking about what would’ve happened if you had taken him up on the offer. Maybe you could’ve spent your weekend tangled up in the sheets with him, but was a one-night stand, even with Jake Tapper, really worth risking your job? Definitely not.

At work, you tried to avoid any contact with Jake, arriving last minute to the morning briefing and fleeing the room the second he dismissed the team. During the show, your eyes stayed glued to your tablet, even if you weren’t able to make sense of a single thing you were reading, your thoughts circled entirely around Jake.

After you wrapped the show, you left the studio in a hurry, trying to make it back to your work space, but a familiar voice calling out your name stopped you in your tracks.

For a moment, you considered ignoring it, but you couldn’t just not answer to your boss, so you stopped and turned around to face him.

Jakes expression was unreadable, his voice serious as he addressed you.

“Would you please join me in my office for a minute, Y/N?”

You just mumbled something in agreement and followed him, the nervousness almost making you sick too your stomach.

Closing the door of his office behind you, Jake sighted and leaned against his desk. For the first time that day, you really looked at him and realized how tired and worn out he looked.

He took a deep breath before he spoke.

“Look, Y/N, I really have to apologize. What I did the other night was not only absolutely unprofessional, but it also clearly made you uncomfortable. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, I had too much to drink, and I was reading the signals wrong. I thought you might feel the same but I know that’s not an excuse. Just let me tell you that I am really, really sorry, and if you don’t feel comfortable working around me any longer, I promise that I will find you an amazing spot on another show, just say so.” He was rambling by now and looked like a beaten dog.

Your head was spinning, him being sorry wasn’t something you had expected. And what was he even talking about you feeling the same? You had to clear this up, the poor man was absolutely devastated.

“Jake, you didn’t make me uncomfortable, not in the slightest. And I would never want to work for anyone else.”

You took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“Your advances weren’t unwelcome. I was just so hesitant, because you’re my boss and everything. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to just hook up with you at a party, our work relationship is too important.”

Jake raised his head, a look of absolute surprise on his face.

“So you’re not feeling like I harassed you?” he asked incredulously.

“Oh my god, no!” you exclaimed, your voice coming out a tad too loud, but you didn’t care.

Jake breathed in relief before approaching you, putting a hand on your arm. Goosebumps started to break out over your body when he spoke again, his voice deeper and smoother this time.

“Who said I just wanted to hook up with you? Why do you think I haven’t had my eyes on you from the moment you stepped through these doors? What gave you the idea I haven’t waited for the right moment the entire time?”

“You have?” you whispered, staring up into his eyes. He didn’t answer, instead he leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss. You were starstruck for a moment, unable to move a single muscle, but when Jakes hand came to rest on your lower back to pull you against him, you softened under him and leaned into his body.

He broke the kiss to softly stroke your jaw and down your neck with a single finger, and you unconsciously tilted your head to give him better access.

“Is this really a good idea?” you breathed, not trusting your voice right now.

“Assuming you want this as much as I do, I’d say this is a damn good idea.” Jake responded, and hearing this encouraged you to reach out and start to loosen his tie.

His eyebrows surged up and a smug grin started to spread over his face, making him look much more like the guy from the bar instead of your serious news anchor boss.

“You mean here, right now?” he murmured. “Ok, fine with me, baby, just let me lock the door real quick.”

As soon as he had turned the lock, he was on you in a heartbeat, kissing you much harder now, his teeth softly biting your bottom lip. He buried his hands in your hair, tugging on the strands while you unbuttoned his dress shirt with shaky fingers, a task that got increasingly difficult when his distracting hands wandered lower to squeeze your ass through your skirt. You moaned against his mouth and he slowly pushed you back until your back hit the edge of his desk.

Jake shrugged his shirt of his shoulders and made quick work of your sweater as well. He stepped out of his shoes and trousers, but his eyes stayed on you, pupils blown, taking in your trembling form.

“You are so gorgeous, Y/N. Take off that skirt for me.” He murmured, and you moved like on autopilot, already so aroused that he could’ve told you to do literally anything.

“The bra as well, baby.” Jakes voice was already slightly strained, but still had that commanding edge that made you reach behind you to unclasp your bra.

It fell to the floor and Jakes hand were on your breasts a moment later, kneading the soft flesh and rolling your nipples between his fingers. You let out a small whimper, arching your back and grinding your core against the bulge in Jakes boxers.

“Jake, please.”

“Please what, Y/N? What do you want?” Jake cooed, pressing a kiss to your neck.

Instead of answering him, you swiftly pulled his boxers down his legs and wrapped your hands around his hard length, giving a firm stroke that made him curse under his breath.

He grabbed your ass to lift you up onto the desk behind you. Your panties were off before you knew it, and any sense of shame you might have felt about being naked on top of your bosses’ papers was forgotten when his huge hands roughly spread your thighs to step between them, the tip of his cock teasing you before he slid into you with one hard thrust.

You hastily slapped your hand over your mouth to muffle your scream that would’ve probably alarmed the entire office.

He filled you perfectly and instantly started slamming into you with deep strokes. There was a loud clatter as several items fell off Jakes desk, but neither of you seemed to notice, both lost in the pleasure the other one was giving.

“Shit, I’ve wanted this for months.” Jake grunted, “I knew you would feel amazing.”

You could only whimper in response, your hands now looking for something to hold on as Jake deepened his thrusts, using his tight grab on your hips to pull you flush against him with each slam of his hips.

He looked like a man undone above you, his hair was a mess and there was a look of such heated arousal on his face, it felt like his eyes were burning into you. It was intoxicating.

“Jake.” You whispered. “You feel so fucking good. Please don’t stop.”

“The next time I’ll fuck you, it’s going to be somewhere the walls are thicker. I want to hear you scream my name. “Jake growled, reaching between your legs to press down onto your throbbing clit. When he pinched you bud between his fingers, your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks .

You came with a cry that was swallowed by Jakes mouth crashing onto yours as he followed you over the edge, and you held onto each other, riding out the highs of your shared climax.

“Fuck. Wow.” you panted as soon as Jake let go of you.

“Yeah, wow.” He agreed and wiped some sweat off his forehead before carefully pulling out and stepping back to help you climb off the table. He was still catching his breath, looking around the office in search of his clothes.

“Sorry about that.” You muttered, pointing to the mess of papers and files that had fallen off his desk and were now scattered across the floor along with various items of clothing and something that looked a lot like Jakes desk light. “I think we broke your lamp as well.”

“Definitely worth it.” He chuckled and pulled you into another kiss. “Can’t believe that just happened.” He whispered. “I was so afraid I had scared you off with my behavior.”

“Jake, it’s alright, it wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy the attention.” You said softly, giving him a reassuring smile. Your heart was still racing, you mind trying to make sense of what just happened while you collected your underwear, being naked in that situation suddenly made you feel kind of vulnerable.

Jake was still watching you warily as he started to put on his clothes as well.

“Y/N, like I said, this really isn’t some quick hookup for me.” He took a deep breath. “Let me take you out tonight? No pressure, no expectations, we just talk and see what happens. What do you think?”

“I agree, I’m curious if you can still flirt with me without several drinks to ease the way.” You replied, chuckling and reaching out to fix Jakes tie.

You had no idea where your sudden feeling of ease came from, but there was no way you would miss the opportunity of having an actual date with Jake Tapper.

And who knew, maybe he could become something more than just your boss.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 18

First time reader click here

TWs/Summary: We stan ✨women in science✨. Bruce uwu. Twitter social media AU nobody asked for. Stephen and Tony are dicks and I'm not talking about their anatomy. Setting up mood for Bruce smut, ngl. PTSD makes things spicy. I'm depressed so please be kind ✌🏻💀🙃

"I really do wonder how can you two fit those egos of yours in your pants," I kept my tone forcefully casual, cheerful even. "Why don't you just fuck already?"

I was met with stunned silence. Suddenly, the room seemed far too large and the people in much too quiet, staring at me with various expressions of horror obvious in their faces. As the strange friendship began developing between me and the team, my "outbursts" - how Steve liked to call them - lessened considerably. I had no need to provoke them into giving me attention, just striking up a casual chat was enough. The Avengers were great conversationalists, to my surprise.

Tony and Stephen, when paired, were the exception. I could count on one hand the amount of times they successfully came to a conclusion without fighting like cats and dogs. It was like each man had made it a personal mission to verbally top the other, more often than not resulting in a thirty-minute shitshow ending with one storming off in a dramatic flourish. It was mind-boggling how two supremely intelligent men could not find a way to communicate efficiently without infuriating the rest of the team.

Plus me. One way or another, I was almost always around. In the beginning, it was hilarious to see the free circus but it got old really quickly when they couldn't decide on dinner or a movie, leaving the rest of us starving and bored. Or the great Cloak debate - that one lasted days and the fussy thing was so upset, it point blank refused to part from Peter for a substantial amount of time. It's pretty fucking creepy that a semi-sentient, ancient piece of outerwear watches you when you sleep - just sayin'. I personally interjected with my own snark and sass whenever Tony and Stephen got too heated, successfully drawing the attention to myself. The fight broke up and I had amazing sex with Tony later, it was a win-win scenario.

Yet, Tony and Stephen didn't stop. To me, their way of "talking" (and I use that term loosely) looked a lot like unresolved sexual tension. Stephen frequently used his greater height to tower over Tony in a childish attempt to establish dominance; the engineer was no rookie and responded with extravagant peacocking such as "subtly" tapping the bracelet that hosted his nanotech suit or parading at dinner in a $30,000 custom made designer outfit. Because Tony could.

I was pleasantly surprised when Natasha started laughing at my remark. Full-blown, belly laugh. Those were rare, coming from the Widow, her usual mirth was quiet, sophisticated, just like her. Deadly (adorable). Bucky followed suit, snorting together with Clint and Loki.

Steve looked none too pleased with me. But then again, was he ever? "Doll, don't be rude."

"Brat," Bruce said at the same time, palming his face.

"People always call me a brat. And guess what, Steve?" I popped my hip, twirling a cotton candy pink coloured Dum-Dum between my fingers. "What can you do about it? Nothing," I shrugged, leaning my head against Bruce's shoulder affectionately.

Steve just shook his head in disappointment. "Can we get back on topic? Please?"

"Captain, I think that Stark..." Strange began talking with Tony dramatically groaning in the background and I instantly tuned out the useless babble. Steve should've been smarter and revoked speaking rights from Tony and Stephen. Or asked Loki to magically render them both mute for ten minutes.

"You're not wrong," Bruce quietly whispered next to my ear. "Ten bucks says Wanda meddles and those two finally work out their frustrations," The scientist hid a grin against my head. I felt the amused, giddy energy radiating off him like a plasma beam.

"I don't even have to bet," I rolled my eyes. "If she doesn't do it, I will."

Both Tony and Stephen were throwing me equally infuriated glances. One promised me a good, hard fucking and the other saw me a short, poisonous lecture on appropriate behaviour in the nearest future - you can guess which is which. If I had it my way, I'd skip the lecture and go straight to a hot, filthy threesome with two men twice my age. I wasn't blind, Strange was hot as hell and could be decent and even nice once in a blue moon.

He could, but he wouldn't be. I wanted that raw, unadulterated lust, tension so concentrated it walked the razor's edge between violent craving and repulsion. Ever since the incident with Clint, I had this ugly mess inside of me, like a live wire about to snap. My brain was constantly racing, darting between how utterly useless I am in a group of supers and embracing my normal-ness, amplifying it by hosting game nights and spending time trying to convince people to start a dungeons and dragons campaign. Or something.

My sleep was like Swiss cheese, riddled with holes where I stayed awake for one or two hours at a time in the middle of the night after waking up sweaty, with my heart hammering out of my chest. Sometimes I dreamt of Clint's lifeless, sickly white body, sometimes the whole room flooded with blood and I couldn't stop it no matter what, there was so much of it, I drowned in it, I startled up with the taste of it in my mouth. Rarely, the worst of it came - the one where Clint was alive as millions of millions of little fluorescent, poisonous jellyfish burst out of him and he screamed and screamed and screamed...

I had PTSD. Yay, me. As if my uselessness wasn't enough of a burden, my brain decided for me that it wasn't good enough that I saved Clint and now it was punishing me for being close to a group of people who routinely saved the WORLD.

I contemplated my usual habits - going to a party, getting trashed and dancing until my legs were numb. I just wanted to shut my brain off for a moment, give it a hard reset so-to-say, but with Tony on my back like a jet-pack, I didn't doubt he'd show up to the place and drag me out of there even if I was kicking and screaming. And he was a Stark, a billionaire, so visiting my dad in Cali wouldn't be possible on my own. Tony would gas up the jet and the rest of the team would find and excuse to tag along, too. As much as I loved being the baby menace who could get away with anything, I hated the way they all herded me, like I was an actual child. I couldn't get away from myself, not even for a moment.

I had the backup-backup plan and I was going to have to execute it. Desperate times, desperate measures. "I don't doubt y'all enjoy listening to Tony and Steph flirt," The nickname escaped unmoderated from my lips before I could catch myself. "But what are we doing for Halloween? I need to know if I gotta get a costume," Bruce chuckled next to me and wrapped an arm around me, happy for the distraction. Unlike me, the scientist was obligated to listen and participate in the avengers-themed discussion. Which was difficult because the engineer and the sorcerer constantly bickered, inadvertently taking over the talk.

"Halloween?" Steve groaned.

"We should do something," Bucky side-eyed his boyfriend. "For the children." Something told me he wasn't thinking of the children, at all. The man was positively leering, probably thinking about what kind of a tight suit he could convince Steve to squeeze into.

"A party!" Tony immediately exclaimed, interrupting Stephen mid-setence.

"Tony, no," Steve stated firmly.

"Tony, YES!" Clint perked up. "A snack bar. A bar-bar."

"I will not be helping you all if you get alcohol poisoning," Stephen crossed his arms.

"So it's a party," I stated firmly, throwing a contemplating look at Wanda and Pietro. The twins looked unsure but excited. I knew I could count on fellow young people to support my decision to have fun, dance a little, drink a little. Let loose. To nail my point, I turned to Bruce with a mischievous smirk. "Fifty bucks says Stephen is too stuck up to show up in costume."

"Beg pardon?!" The sorcerer exclaimed. His eyebrows threatened to meet his hairline.

"I think you give him too little credit, Princess," Bruce winked at me and we solemnly shook hands. It was great having a fellow partner in mischief. Loki's approving smirk just sealed the deal for me.

"It's not my fault you sometimes act like you have a stick up your butt," I gave in the way of explanation, shrugging my shoulders innocently in Stephen's direction. "I'm just pointing out the obvious."

"I don't dare to imagine what's been up yours," The sorcerer retorted dryly, in an uncharacteristically childish fashion, arms still crossed. It almost looked like he was pouting.

"Tony," I simply said, leering salaciously at the man.

"Ooh, kinky," Clint reached over and we promptly high-fived each other in the wake of multiple embarrassed groans emanating around the room. "Strange, you're a boring old man, get over it."

"And you regularly end up in dumpsters, Barton," Strange retorted quickly. "Not my idea of fun."

"You wouldn't know fun if it hit you in the face!" Tony grinned triumphantly, confident in his superiority over Strange. Look at that, the team was doing the work for me and I didn't even have to try.

"I'll show you fun," Stephen retorted darkly. It was obvious the man was planning something.

"Ok, boomer," I raised my eyebrows in muted satisfaction before turning around and grabbing Bruce to drag along with me. "I'm confiscating your best scientist to amuse myself. I am bored. We will go and do actual science whilst y'all argue. Bye."

My patience had run out. We were examining the parasites we found in the murder-anthropods-from-space, codename MAFS, courtesy of yours truly, and their amazing properties to penetrate cell membranes and feed on metals in organic life forms. Without Bruce's help I understood maybe half of it but he had the patience of a saint and dutifully and understandably explained to me the finer points of studying aliens. Signing half a dozen NDAs was never more worth it.

Steve's sigh consisted of 99% suffering and 2% disappointment. Natasha face-palmed silently in the corner, clutching a mug of coffee, a poster child for existential dread.

"Wait for me," Tony whined, going for the door and promptly being stopped by Steve pointing out the team needing his input on one mission or another. The engineer sighed. "Baby girl, don't let the green mean to start any experiments without me." Tony instructed, pointing an accusatory finger in our direction.

I clutched at Bruce dramatically, feigning hurt feelings and was rewarded with a swift motion of his arms. I shrieked delightfully at being thrown over the scientist's shoulder as he hastened his pace towards the elevator, hightailing it out of there. "I'd never snitch on science daddy," I wiggled my eyebrows in Tony's direction, sticking a hand down the back pocket of Bruce's pants, dangling over his shoulder like a happy sack of potatoes.

The lab smelled strongly of alcohol and bitter chemicals, the solution that Bruce developed to ensure the optimal state of the alien pathogens. The man's genius never ceased to amaze me: Bruce came up with the needed formula in the span of a few hours while running low on sleep, post a Hulk-out session.

We put on our protective gear - "science onesies" I called them - along with a respirator and goggles and set to the segregated part of the lab where the specimens were kept under a blue light. The glass wall between Bruce's and Tony's lab was dimmed; I reflected in it, looking positively futuristic in my double-stacked white platformed boots and white hazmat suit.

"Wait," I motioned to Bruce to come over.

"Oh, right, our music," He was already half-way to being in total Science Mode. "Friday, please put on the "Get Schwifty" playlist, 60% volume."

The playlist that me and Bruce came up with for our lab sessions. The man was such an adorable dork. Thirty percent my music, thirty percent of his indie rock shit and forty percent 00's bops. In other words, utter perfection.

I finally managed to fish out my phone from my pants. "No, let's take a selfie," I struck an impressive pose and pointed the camera as Avril Lavigne sung the first verse to Sk8r Boi.

Bruce laughed but abided by the request, giving me bunny ears in the photo, tapping the fingers of his other hand on my waist to the rhythm of the song.

"He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy!" I sang along, switching my Instagram to stories and posting the short clip of us just vibing with the caption #sciencetime, Bruce laughing openly behind his respirator. I looked cute and silly in my outfit.

"Send the video to me, I'll post it on my Twitter," Bruce requested. I indulged him then put my phone away, ready to conquer the world of microbiology. Or die trying. Science was calling...

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie

[amerie-wadia]

Release

For the prompt: "Shelby telling Toni it’s okay for her to make the first move sometimes and maybe being insecure that it seems like she’s the only one reaching out for physical contact but Toni just doesn’t want to scare her away."

hope you like it, anon :) click here to read on ao3

Shelby reached out—Shelby always reached out. Reached in the empty spaces between curls, between sun freckles, between moments of pure silence with ocean water spinning around them like a vortex. A hand to hold, a cheek to caress, lips to kiss. And Shelby stretched her arms out so far and so wide that she sometimes wondered if she could reach the edge of the earth, the point so deep into space that she lost it all. That maybe Toni would pull back when she pushed forward and they would collapse.

Sometimes Shelby wished Toni believed in God because it would make everything so much fucking easier. Or maybe harder, in certain ways.

There was nothing she could do to change the parts of Toni that felt distant and too different, scary and uncertain. Not that she would—she might. It was exhilarating being around someone so polar opposite to herself and to her life. Toni was everything Shelby wasn’t. Toni was selfless and reckless without guilt and soft like the underbelly of a cat. She would grin and blush when Shelby ran her fingertips from the tip of her jaw until they locked in a loop behind her ears to keep them both steady as she leaned in for a kiss.

It was the brightest rainbow Shelby had ever seen and it was sweeter than any candy she could name. It was Toni. It was incredible.

It was also a bit infuriating.

Not being Shelby didn’t like it, on the contrary, Shelby cherished every second she spent around Toni. The moments were fleeting at first: stolen kissed behind the trees and midnight whispers beneath the crackling fire and perilous sky. Overtime, as they opened up about their relationships and the days grew colder, the moments slowed to halt and paused the entire universe. Shelby could lay next to Toni, her hand draped over Toni’s waist, and it felt like hours. In some ways it was a comfort, in others a curse.

Because it always Shelby reaching out.

Perhaps it was a stupid thing to feel insecure about. And yet, she did. Toni never initiated anything. She never reached first or leaned in for the kiss, not physically nor emotionally. At first, she was simply following Shelby’s lead and it made sense, it was safe, it was everything Shelby needed. But it had been months and Shelby didn’t need that anymore. Not on the island, not with Toni.

And Toni still hesitated.

“You know, Toni,” she murmured one evening as they lay sprawled around each other as the sun set off in the distance. They had hidden away in the cave that night to get away from the others, to have some privacy. The girls were cool about everything, all the time, but that didn’t mean they wanted to be around the other every moment of the day. Shelby tightened her grip on Toni to try and pull Toni into her mind. “You can kiss me first.”

Toni tensed, flipped over so she was laying on her belly with more space between them suddenly than there had been in weeks.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wreck the mood…I just,” Shelby trailed off, picking at the grass to distract her hands from reaching out. “I just want you know that you can, if you want to.”

Toni hummed, an indulgent agreement that clearly meant something different to Toni.

“It’s just that it’s always me, you know? Like I can do it all, if that’s how you want it. I just need to know that you still want it.”

“Want it? Of course I want it, Shelby,” Toni stated surely, meeting Shelby’s gaze with a heavy one of her own.

“It doesn’t always feel like you do anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

How was Toni not getting it, she had laid it all out quite explicitly.

“Don’t you ever get this crazy desire,” Shelby began, looking up at the sky so nothing in her peripherals could cloud her fantasies, “to just reach out and hold my hand? Or kiss me in front of everybody. Dive into a bush or something?”

“You want us to dive into a bush.”

“You’re not listening to me,” Shelby reprimanded, shifting her gaze back to Toni who looked far too amused to be paying attention to what Shelby was feeling.

“I’m listening,” Toni said, more softly than before without the flicker of humor her voice normally held. Toni shuffled sand around in her palm and Shelby didn’t understand why she couldn’t just reach out and hold Shelby’s hand instead.

“I don’t know how to say this without feeling really stupid.”

“Nothing you say sounds stupid.”

Warmth. Light. Weight. Heart. This was still Toni, still the only thing in the world that could ever make her feel so at home in herself and in the world. She sighed and took a moment to process her next words.

“Before we were together, I always thought that you…” Toni’s eyes narrowed in confusion and intrigue and Shelby paused, not liking the words floating around her head. She needed to be gentler—why are you so scared to initiate anything? “Are you comfortable, like, with us?”

“Of course, I’m comfortable with us. Where is this coming from?” The sand dropped between her fingers and Shelby wanted to hold her hand but it felt like she would stop herself from asking what needed to be addressed.

“You promise?”

“I swear.”

“And you still want this?”

“Shelby,” Toni whispered, the raspy and musky voice that could set Shelby’s heart on fire if she didn’t tread lightly.

“I’m serious. If you ever don’t want this, everything will be okay. I don’t want you to feel trapped, or like if you ever need some space that everything will be awkward and it’s a small island and—,”

“Shelby,” Toni interrupted, still keeping her distance but her eyes were wide and full and she looked a bit afraid. The sky was getting darker and Shelby realized suddenly that they had missed the green light. “I want to be with you.”

“Then, baby,” Shelby tried to keep her voice gentle and steady because she felt overwhelmed and somehow already on the verge of tears. Maybe if she started crying then Toni would reach out and wipe her tears away. Or hold back. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re asking me what’s wrong? Shelby, are you okay?”

“Stop deflecting everything I say!”

It was louder and more spiteful than she intended and Toni tensed again, inched back subconsciously.

“I didn’t mean to yell.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, Toni. It’s not fine. It’s not fucking fine if I yell at you!” The yelling might have been contradictory but Toni needed the banging of a gong to feel the rise and fall of her chest sometimes. “You stand up to everything but me.”

“I don’t need to stand up to you anymore, you don’t do anything to hurt me.”

“Then why can’t you trust me?”

Toni’s jaw didn’t actually drop like a cartoon character’s often would, but Shelby could see her jaw fall inside her cheeks and the spark in her eyes dim.

“What?”

“Why don’t you trust me, Toni?”

“I trust you.��

“Then come to me,” Shelby cooed, finally letting herself reach out and hold onto her girlfriend. She let her hands graze Toni’s shoulders and dance up her neck to cup her jaw. “Why are you still holding back?”

Toni opened her mouth to say something but just as quickly she closed it and shrugged, her eyes flitting between Shelby’s and the sand below them.

“Promise me again that you still want this.”

“I promise,” Toni whispered.

“Then tell me what’s wrong. Tell me what’s going on in here,” she pleaded, letting one hand caress Toni’s forehead.

“I know how hard it can be,” Toni started and Shelby crept closer to show Toni she was really listening. “The pressure and figuring it all out and the worry and I just…I just want you to be able to let it all go and know that whatever you want, you can have.”

“Toni.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t to, be anybody but yourself. Not with me.”

“And I think I’ve shown you that,” Shelby explained, loving the feeling of Toni’s own hands reaching out to wrap around Shelby, turning them both so they lay on their sides facing each other instead of brushing beside each other. Shelby tugged them closer by the straps of Toni’s top.

“You have. I mean that, I just never want you to feel like you have to do things for me that you don’t want to do.”

“Like what?” Shelby asked, hearing a teasing tone enter her voice, “Hold your hand?”

Toni shrugged.

“Maybe.”

“I always want to touch you,” Shelby whispered, brushing her hands across Toni’s skin like a paintbrush. “To kiss you.” She pressed her lips on Toni’s cheeks close enough to her lips that they floated closer into each other’s gravity but not close enough to make it stick. “You can come to me first, if you want.”

“I know.”

“I promise, I’ll tell you if there’s something I don’t feel comfortable with.”

“Promise?” Toni asked, eyes hopeful.

“Only if you’ll do the same.”

“Promise.”

“Good, then I promise too,” Shelby announced proudly, pressing her lips against Toni’s this time. She could feel Toni melting beneath her and she moved her arms from Toni’s neck to her waist to bring them chest to chest. Toni wiggled happily beside her, warm and electric as always. When they parted her cheeks were flooded in pink. “You make me feel safe, Toni. You’re the only person who has ever made me feel this way.”

“You make me feel, uh, safe too.” Her face had gone red and it was so endearing Shelby could almost scream. Instead she buried her head in Toni’s neck and let herself shut her eyes.

“We need to getaway more often.”

“How will be ever find a good sitter for the kids, though?” Toni teased. Shelby chuckled and broke out of Toni’s embrace long enough to kiss her forehead and tug Toni against her chest. Toni nestled against her instantly.

“We’re good.”

“Yeah, we’re good,” Toni agreed, pressing a feather-kiss against Shelby’s wrist.

It was small, but it was a start.

[bluebellwriting]

Love Me Tender - Part 2

“He’s so in love with ya,” Angel smirks, lying on your bed in your hotel room, surrounded by your folded laundry and knocking over said piles of laundry. You roll your eyes and continue hanging up your newly cleaned dresses and blouses.

“What are you going on about?”

“The fact that Strawberry Pimp has been following ya around like a love-sick puppy for the last year.” 

You throw a sock at Angel and shoot him a glare. Although, your mind can’t help but wander to the last year following Alastor’s insertion into your lives. He has been spending quite a bit of time with you... which is completely understandable! You both enjoy the same type of music, although he was quite affronted when he learned that you don’t really dance and insisted that he teach you. Now he pulls you into a dance whenever there is a good song playing. 

And he loves to cook just like you, even though you are partial to baking. He often joins you in the kitchen around meal times to assist in prep or even to make a dish when you’re overwhelmed. On slow days, you find yourself thinking about the time Charlie had you all celebrate Thanksgiving. Charlie had insisted you all celebrate the holiday in even though nobody, save you and Alastor, could cook to save their lives. You were honestly dreading all the sides and desserts and proteins you would have to prepare for everyone, and Charlie had only added to the stress when she came prancing into the kitchen and revealed that her mother had agreed to eat with you all. Somehow sensing your stress, Alastor was there in an instant and allowed you to put him to work. He was a dream in the kitchen, so helpful and chivalrous, and he even made a curated playlist of all your favorite songs to put you in better spirits. It was one of your fonder moments in the normally stressful work environment, particularly when you had cut yourself chopping sweet potatoes and Alastor had rushed to tend to you. Really, it was just a little nick. It didn’t even draw blood but it did sting a bit causing you to hiss quietly. Alastor heard that sound as if it were as loud as a siren and was by your side, bending down to analyze your hand, behaving as though you had just chopped off your entire hand.

“You really must be more careful, dearest,” he murmured and frowned at the cut, willing it to disappear. 

You think about Thanksgiving and the way he held your injured finger more than you’re proud to admit. 

---

You shake yourself out of your reverie. No. No, no, no. Nope! You were not about to indulge in some small school-girl crush. That would only cause it to fester into something bigger in your heart, something dangerous. And you were certainly not about to buy into your brother’s teasing and tendency to romanticize things. Angel was smart, observant, but was also incredibly naive when it came to affection, or rather, sinisterness disguised by affection. And you were no stranger when it came to love and its effects on perception. You made that mistake once and it got you down here, you were not about to let that happen again...

Even if it was at the hands of that darling deer.

“Come on.” You hang up your last blouse and motion for Angel to follow you to the lobby. You both were late for your weekly family dinner and your father would not be pleased. 

“I’m just saying, when was the last time ya got laid?” Angel asks as you make your way down the hall towards the lobby.

“Angel!”

“What? Please tell me you’ve at least gotten some since--” 

You’re too short to smack his head, so you resort to kicking him in the shin.

“If you say his name in front of me I will maim you,” you scold. 

“Got it, got it. Okay but in all seriousness, are ya ever gonna move on?”

“Nope, and even if I did, he’d have to be very special and very serious. I’m not going to waste my time pining.” You cross your arms, quieting your voice as you draw nearer to the warm glow of the lobby. 

“But Alastor seems more than eager.”

“Of course he does,” you say sarcastically.

“Sis, I’m serious! He follows ya--”

“--Around like a lovesick puppy, yes so you keep saying.” You stop suddenly and shift your arms so that they’re wrapped around your torso. You avoid Angel’s confused and worried eyes, finding the carpet far easier to face than your brother’s concern. You are supposed to take care of him, you don’t need his pity. You don’t need anyone.

“Angel,” you sigh. “He’s like that with everyone. I’m not special to him, he just likes me because we enjoy some of the same things and I fit his idea of ‘polite company.’ But I’m not special. And... And even if I did feel that way about him it wouldn’t matter because I’m not anything to him. He’s made it perfectly clear that he has no use for close friends. So why would I be an exception?” 

You turn and start taking brisk steps towards the door before you allow Angel to hear your sniffs and see your red-rimmed eyes. You bid a quick goodbye to Husk even though he’s passed out at his desk and make your way to your car. You don’t see Alastor, who was leaning against the wall near the mouth of the hallway where you had just pored your heart out to your brother. You don’t see the way his smile falters just a little or the way his eyes widen in alarm. You don’t see the plate of cookies in his hands, ones he had made just for you as a surprise.

But Angel does.

“Ya okay there, smiles?” Angel reaches for one of the double chocolate chip cookies but his hand is smacked away by Alastor.

“These are not for you,” he snaps but his voice lacks conviction and his eyes continue to stare off longingly at the door you’ve just walked through. Angel takes in the Radio Demon’s furrowed brows and follows his gaze.

“They’re for (Y/N),” Angel smirks and elbows Alastor’s arm teasingly. 

“I knew ya had the hots for her! Jeez, could ya have been any more obvious?” Angel cackles.

“Apparently not obvious enough,” Alastor mutters.

“You heard some of that, huh?”

“All of it, actually.” Alastor looks down dejectedly at the plate of cookies. “I... I thought I was--”

“Oh, believe me, if you were being any more obvious with anyone else, you would’ve had your answer months ago. But (Y/N) she’s... she’s not everyone else. She’s very closed off, honestly you’re lucky she even sees you as a friend.”

Alastor barely nods his head in acknowledgement because all his mental energies are directed towards you. You and your bouncy, beautiful hair. You and your enchanting curves and the smooth sound of your voice when you think he isn’t around to hear you. You and your tenderness towards the very few who have earned it, and your willingness to utterly destroy anyone who tries to hurt those few. You and the time he came home with a few scratches after an altercation with Vox and you fussed over him in the genuine way his mother once did. You and your gentle hands that kneed pie crusts and crack eggs, hands that he delights in holding and finds any reason to do so. 

He really never believed he could feel this way about anyone. This captivated, this dedicated, this entranced and enchanted. But here you are, captivating and enchanting him beyond all reason. At first it was infuriating, the nights he would lie awake thinking of whatever adorable thing you had done that day. Or the way his body wanted, needed to be near you even when his mind screamed at him that you were a weakness. Someone he couldn’t afford to love lest it make him vulnerable, puny, at risk of losing everything that he had built in Hell. 

Until about four months into knowing each other. Some brute had come to stay in the hotel. He didn’t really bother to remember the creature’s name, just that he was rude and inconsiderate and didn’t know how to respect a lady. Alastor had wandered into the kitchen to help you with lunch, per the subconscious ritual he had fallen into, when he heard a loud smack. He opened the door to see said brute trying to force himself upon you and... the next thing he knew the entire kitchen, himself, and you were drenched in the blood of this horrid man. The kind of carnage Alastor only found himself achieving when in an intense fit of rage. You had stood there, frozen, and Alastor was briefly afraid that he had terrified you beyond the point of repair. But after you had gotten over the shock of the man’s attempted assault, you had sprinted to him and buried yourself into his chest before you could remind yourself about his aversion to touch. But he had always seemed to make an exception for you. And he always would.

After that day Alastor realized two things: that you were not a weakness, rather a new source of strength for him, and that he would literally do anything to get you to run into his arms like that again. Alastor didn’t need anymore convincing of the love he had for you. But apparently, you were in an entirely different boat.

“So what do I do?”

“What?” Angel asks, pulling away a hand that was trying again to steal another cookie.

“You’re incredibly close. She tells you everything. What more can I do to show her I’m serious?” Alastor hates how desperate he sounds but that’s what he is. Desperate for you.

“Well that depends, how serious are ya?”

“Deathly.”

Angel’s eyes glance down and back up at the cookies. Alastor relents and tosses him a cookie so he can continue.

“She’s... she’s so incredibly dear to me. She drives me mad and yet I can’t bring myself to stay away. I need her, I feel like there’s a deep, gaping chasm when I’m without her. I--”

“God, okay, you’ve convinced me. I give ya my blessing, sheesh.” Angel finishes the cookie.

“Angel,” you call, marching back into the lobby. Alastor almost drops the plate at your sudden appearance. 

“Angel we’re going to be late!”

“Good evening, dearest,” Alastor lurches from the wall, smile wide and beaming, trying to convey all the love he holds for you. He tries to lower his tone on the word ‘dearest,’ tries to make it apparent that you are his dearest everything.

“Good evening, Alastor.” You grace him with a sweet smile but your eyes are sad, probably from what he overheard earlier. “Who are those for, Al?”

“Oh, for you, dearie!” He thrusts the plate in front of you, shoulders hunched in an effort to seem more humble, less intimidating for you. You really are quite small and so precious.

“F-For me?” Your face flushes the prettiest shade of red.

“You mentioned double-chocolate chip is your favorite, yes?”

“It is. T-Thank you, Al, that really is so sweet.” You take one cookie off the plate and indulge yourself in the dark chocolate. Oh, he really outdid himself.

Alastor revels in the joy in your eyes and the fact that he put it there. 

“It was my absolute pleasure, darling. I was more than happy to do it. You’ve just been working so hard lately, I thought you deserved something sweet.”

Your smile widens, bathing him in warmth until it falters at the sight of Angel.

“Angel, we have to go or dad and Niss are going to have a fit.”

“Oh,” Alastor interjects. “Where are you both off to?”

You smooth down your fancier-than-normal (f/c) skirt.

“Just family dinner, but it’s important apparently. Dad has an announcement. We would have had more time to chat if Angel didn’t distract me this evening,” you say pointedly at your brother. 

“Alright, alright, I’ll be out in a minute. I just have to go bother Husky for a moment.”

You roll your eyes.

“Fine. Alastor,” you turn back to him. Alastor perks up immediately at your attention. “Thank you so much for this. You really didn’t--”

“I won’t hear it, love. Now go enjoy your dinner, I’ll make sure these are waiting when you get back.” He gives you a genuine grin, something reserved only for you. “And might I add that you look ravishing in that skirt, dear. Is it new?”

“Oh,” your blush increases and glows. “Thank you, Alastor. Um... have a pleasant evening.”

Once you’re out of the lobby, Angel turns to Alastor, noticing the way he deflates in your absence. 

“Look, I gotta go. Now I can talk more when we get back but this,” he points at the plate of cookies. “Is a great start! Personal, sweet, something you wouldn’t do for anyone else. She needs to know that you think she’s special, that you make exceptions for her, that you want to spend time with her outside of “coincidentally” being in the kitchen with her. And for Pete’s sake, ya gotta ask her out soon cause God knows she ain’t gonna take the chance and ask you.”

Angel strolls out of the lobby, leaving Alastor to brainstorm the many ways he’ll make just that happen.