#I just want to reiterate that you’re allowed to think more than one thing at once

[alarrylarrie]

.

[princessbrunette]

pogue!rafe who you call over to fix every minor inconveniences.. theres a cockroach bothering you or your ac’s acting up and rafe is the first guy you call 🙂‍↕️ he acts all nonchalant being “you could literally call the ac guy or your neighbor or someone. youre saying i come all the way here for this?” but you js go “but you’re the only one i trust rafey!!” and he eats that shit UP 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

: ・ෆ・┈・┈・ᕱ⑅ᕱ・┈・┈・ෆ・ :

perhaps you have strict kook parents who don’t let you bring men into the house — but rafe has worked on the house, they trust him — so he’s allowed right? he really doesn’t wanna come all that way just to press a few buttons on your ac that he knows you could do yourself — but he can’t help it, he’s just a man and you’re feeding his ego when you say stuff like “i’m not good at this kinda thing rafe, you’re all smart n’know how to fix things. oh, and my parents like you so they wouldn’t mind if you come here whilst they’re not home!” which makes his ears perk up like a rabbit of course. he reluctantly agrees and heads straight out.

it’s a specifically hot day, so when he turns up you’re walking around in just the tightest tiniest bikini because the ac is broken and you just couldn’t bring yourself to put clothes on.

he’s being his usual mean self, telling you to stay out of his way whilst he figures out the problem, and then once he figures it out starts telling you that you could have done it yourself — but you’re just smiling, barely listening, staring up at him looking all soft and grabbable which makes it hard for him to concentrate. you’re finding ways to get him to stay longer, offering him iced tea and food to which he declines every offer. before he leaves you get all upset, brow furrowed and pouty and he can’t stand it.

“what, huh? why are you looking at me like that?” he throws his arms up from the doorway to your bedroom, watching you sit on the bed sulking.

“why do you wanna leave so bad?” you mewl, genuinely sounding like you’re on the verge of tears and he sighs, scratching behind his ear.

“doin’ my job, kid. you’re not payin’ me to hang out and besides — m’not taking your money today.” he waves a hand and for a second you lose focus of your goal.

“wh— why?”

“i came over n’pressed a few buttons. s’not rocket science.”

“i’m still gonna pay you.” you cross your arms stubbornly and he spreads his palms carelessly, looking around.

“well uh, i’ll send it back.” he sarks and you huff, staring at your feet. he watches you for a moment, before giving in just a little and leaning on the door frame. “still upset? huh?”

“yes.” you pout.

“whats the problem now? you kook girls have got plenty’a shit to entertain yourself with alright you— you don’t need me for that. not a god damn babysitter.”

“you’re not babysitting. not even that much older than me, anyways.” you whine, only seemingly proving his point and he huffs out a laugh.

“jeeeesus christ.” he drawls under his breath before he strolls over to stand infront of you. you don’t look up at him, pointedly, so he taps beneath your chin twice. “hey.”

looking up, you look so sweet — he couldn’t deny it. “whats the issue?” he reiterates, and from his clipped tone you can tell he’s not gonna ask again if you refuse, he’ll just leave.

“want you…” you murmur, eyes getting hazy and low, pupils dilating before his very eyes like you’d flipped a switch. it’s tempting, very tempting but he backs off anyway.

“nah, nah you want a toy. go fuck on a dildo, m’not your slave.” he huffs tiredly as he drags his big body over to the doorway again. in almost a panic you let out a devastated noise, tears welling up.

“no i want you. rafey, c’mon… you have no idea. s’hurting.” you complain, and now his interest is piqued, turning around once more he licks his lips irritably at the back and forth, blinking at you.

“you think that shits not gonna hurt with me? huh?” he tilts his head, reaching down and boyishly grasping at the shape of himself through his jeans. “this shits bigger than any of the other suckers you’ve had. trust me, you don’t want this kid. go back to playing with kook boys.”

fed up and whiny, you bring your feet up onto the bed, spreading your thighs as you pull your bikini bottoms aside. he freezes on the spot, eyes locked in to the sight, only just taking in the pained look on your face. you weren’t lying, your cunt is a mess of slick, practically pulsating and clenching around nothing infront of him.

“i can take it. make me take it.” you request quietly, peering up at him. he exhales hard out his nose, looking around the room helplessly before storming towards you.

“yeah? alright. i’ll make you fuckin’ take it.”

: ・ෆ・┈・┈・ᕱ⑅ᕱ・┈・┈・ෆ・ :

[bird-inacage]

Love in the Air: Sky’s Desire to be Loved

Sky is already breaking my heart. What I really picked up on in this episode is despite the pain, disappointment and trauma Sky carries with him, he still ultimately just wants to be loved.

At the race, when he first realises Prapai is staring at him, he looks slightly taken aback in a pleasantly surprised sort of way. Like ‘oh, he noticed me’. It’s evident that Sky finds Prapai very attractive, and so when Prapai takes him aside, you can tell that Sky is shy, nervous even. That’s the sort of reaction you only have in front of someone you potentially like. However, as soon as Prapai comes out with his proposition, Sky’s impression of him immediately does a 180. You can tell how hurt he is by this revelation. It’s not simply ‘oh this guy is an asshole too’, but more so, ‘why is this happening to me again?’

The fact that Sky agrees to their one night stand is more than just about repaying a favour or rising to the challenge. To me this is a sign of self-destructive behaviour. I think he resorts to his usual defence mechanism which is playing nonchalant. Maybe if he pretends to be unaffected and somehow detached from this emotionally, he won’t be hurt when it dawns on him all over again that this was purely a physical transaction. But he goes into this knowing that he’s hurt, hurting and will be hurt further by it.

I think Sky feels better when he has control and is taking the initiative. Because then something at least is on his terms, and he can convince himself he’s okay that it is just sex.

So Sky chooses to give in purely to lust, and to allow that to sweep him away. He is able to enjoy their night together simply on a physical level. However, immediately afterward you can tell Sky is unhappy, empty and regretful. He feels like nothing but an object of desire. His attempt to detach himself emotionally wasn’t successful. So he reaches for Prapai again for that momentary high. The brief comfort that comes from connecting with someone during sex is only temporary.

People who have experienced abusive or toxic relationships, desperately want the other person to love them equally, and are therefore willing to compromise their own discomfort, their own boundaries and concede to more and more to please that person.

I do also think that some people who are desperately seeking love, sometimes mistake any form of intimacy as a substitute. They’ll take what is offered to them, even if it makes them feel bad about themselves. Which is why I believe Sky continued to engage with Prapai that night, because he probably tried to convince himself that it was enough, which clearly backfired.

Then we see Sky leave the hotel, looking so dejected, small and alone. What kills me about these scenes is the quiet resignation in Sky’s acceptance of the situation. He just looks like he’s thinking ‘how could you be so stupid?’ And when he says “you’re also an asshole” - he sounds genuinely disappointed. Like he was really hoping Prapai would be different and prove him wrong.

Sky then returns home where he clearly wants to cry but holds it in. I think Sky believes that if he truly broke down in that moment, then he would have truly admitted defeat. That it would be affirmation that he has allowed this to get to him and hurt him, when he was so determined not to let that happen again.

“Shitty things always happen to me”. When bad things happen repeatedly to someone, it’s easy to internalise that as if it is somehow your fault because the common denominator is you.

Later in the episode, there are multiple scenes where Sky reiterates that he doesn’t think Prapai would ever truly be interested in him. That Prapai’s interest in pursuing him is just for sex.

When he answers Prapai’s call for the first time, he doesn’t yet know who it is, and yet Prapai crosses his mind. This shows that Prapai did leave an impression on him. Sky has not completely erased him from his mind.

The other important detail to note here is that even though Sky deems Prapai an ‘asshole’, he doesn’t at any point say he’s not attracted to him. He’s always commenting on how he feels Prapai wouldn’t be attracted to him. This demonstrates that Sky does genuinely believe (despite all his negative impressions) that Prapai is out of his league and would never take real notice of him. He would not be having these thoughts if he didn’t like Prapai on some level. And he hates himself for that, because he feels he should know better.

It’s because he’s attracted to Prapai that he can’t help feeling taken by Prapai’s advances. He even peers out of the window to see if Prapai is still there. He repeatedly tells himself to shake out of it, knowing he shouldn’t entertain these delusions.

In the last scene where Sky receives the sunflowers, he’s taken aback for a moment when Prapai tells him why he sent them. “Cause sunflowers face the sky, I can’t be the sun for you but whenever you see sunflowers, remember that this wind’s watching over the sky”.

Sky is aware that Prapai is sweet talking. But he can’t help himself from being genuinely touched for a moment, like his brain is going ‘see, someone is doing this for you, that must mean something right?’.

At this stage Prapai doesn’t fully mean it. Not really. The man has no idea what his own feelings for Sky are. But this was still surprisingly heartfelt and sweet. A passing comment which meant a whole lot to Sky in that moment because it was so nice to just hear someone try and sweet talk him for once - regardless of how genuine it was.

Sky is clearly conflicted over his feelings around Prapai. He knows he should be staying well away, but at the same time he can’t help but want to be the object of someone’s attentions. Little does he know how deeply Prapai will come to love him.

[sethsclearwater]

request: “Hey so this has been my go-to daydream for days and I’m hoping you’ll want to write it bc you’re Wolfpack queen. Embry imprinted on reader and she was scared to accept the imprint at first so he was really worried but now she’s got to know him and the pack a bit more so she tells him she’ll accept it and he’s just all relieved and happy. Idek if that’s how imprinting works canonically but the hurt/comfort vibes keep me up at night💔💔❤️❤️” and “omg plssssss do a blurb or imagine or whatever where embry imprints on reader and it’s super angsty because she doesn’t know if she wants it or not because they’re just friends but quickly realizes she does love him and shows up at his door and tells him she’ll accept the imprint and they’re both just so relieved.”

warnings: none

notes: super short but cutie

word count: 830

…

you and embry call had been friends for quite some time, but it wasn’t until a few years after you’d initially met that you found out about the wolves and the whole imprinting thing. it was an accident really, you went over to embry’s house when he had told you not to come and ended up walking in just as he phased for the first time.

obviously, you were quite freaked out by the whole thing and so was he. what you weren’t expecting though, was for him to imprint on you and (sort of) fuck up both of your lives to the point that you couldn’t ever have any kind of meaningful romantic relationship with anyone but each other.

when he sat you down and explained everything to you, you were very apprehensive about the whole thing, not particularly interested in hearing about it but also not interested in the pain that came with being away from him for an extended period of time. ultimately though, your brain won and you left his house to get some much-needed space to clear your head.

you only made it 2 days before it became too much to bear and you found yourself outside embry’s door again. before you could change your mind and go back to your car, embry had pulled the door open, “y/n,” he breathed, both of you letting out heavy exhales when you saw each other.

“i’m sorry.” you whispered, eyes filling with tears and bottom lip warbling as you took him in. he looked about as rough as you, both of you not totally sure what to do or what to say to one another.

finding no words, embry just opened his arms which you gladly stepped into, bursting into tears as you wrapped your arms around each other, holding on as tight as you could, “you’re okay, you’re okay,” embry murmured against your hair, gently rocking you from side to side.

you whimpered, sniffling, and brushed your tears away with the back of your hand, “why does it hurt so much?” you whispered, peeking up at him as another wave of tears rolled down your cheeks.

embry’s gaze softened when he looked at you, letting out a soft sigh before he responded, “jus’ need to be near each other is all. won’t hurt soon, i promise.” he explained, his voice barely above a whisper as he tried to keep his own emotions in check for your sake. 

“i didn’t mean to make you think i don’t love you,” you whispered, anxiously scanning his features as you waited for his response. you’d said you loved embry multiple times now, but never in a situation as intense as this one so embry took a moment to let your words sink in.

“you love me?” embry asked softly, almost as if he didn’t believe what you’d said just a few moments ago.

you nodded, sniffling as you took a deep breath, “i do love you.” you reiterated, “a lot more than i thought i did.” you added with a whisper.

embry let out a relieved exhale, “i love you too.” he whispered, “a lot more than i thought i did.” he repeated your words, both of you letting out breathy laughs at his confession.

finally voicing your feelings for each other seemed to lift the weight off both of your shoulders and allowed for you to rest your head against his chest, both of you taking a few deep breaths with each other as you listened to his heartbeat.

“do you wanna come inside?” embry asked softly after a moment when the rain started to pick up outside, and, although you were covered by his porch, you could still feel how chilly you were getting from the cool air.

nodding, you lifted your head to look at him and he just offered you a small smile, “c’mon then, yea?” he asked softly, resting his hand on your lower back and helping you inside so you could warm up and take in each other’s presence. 

[lilislegacy]

Oop-

I hate when tumblr messes shit up, but Hey, it's me again.

Like in my original aks, I want to reiterate that I'm not trying to come for everybody. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion. This is just my 2 cents on the whole demigods and menstruation thing

My original ask was kind of convoluted, so I'll just sum it up here.

I like the idea of what demigods being different but I don't like the idea of administration just being completely gone.

I am currently reading jealous of the god, and that is something that Percy directly says is how you get the worst of both worlds.

I love the idea of demigods being more powerful and more protective when they are pregnant or whether their partner is. But imagine not knowing you're a demigod and never getting your period, then thinking "oh I can never get pregnant!" and then get pregnant. That sounds terrifying.

I do like the idea of certain demigods from certain gods having a different sort of thing. Kind of like with Athena, I saw one post about annabeth getting a migraine and shit which is hilarious.

I just feel like having no menstrual cycle. It all seems a little too easy. It's very reminiscent of Alexandria's Genesis if you were around on Tumblr about 10 years ago to remember that. (If not then izzzyzzz has an amazing video on YouTube all about this fake disorder and hoax)

In my original ask I pointed out how It would be an interesting point of view especially for trans demigods.

I am a transperson. I have a lot of dysphoria around that sort of thing. I am currently in pain because of it. So I've been thinking about it a lot.

(Also, this is a completely different headcannon, but I definitely headcannon Leo as a trans man)

Thinking more about it would be interesting to see people lose control of their powers because of how in pain they are I know. I get very upset very quickly like imagine how terrible that would be. (Like Thalia accidentally zapping someone or something)

I'm also a sucker for those hurt/comfort fics surrounding periods and such. Idk why I just like comforting fics lol

I do like the idea that the hunters of Artemis once they become a hunter would not get a period because fuck that.

Also among other things, Artemis is the goddess of childbirth and I feel like she can do that for her hunters.

I did add a little bit more from my original ask because I've just been thinking about it more.

Again, not coming for anyone I really love that everyone has their own opinions and fantastic ideas. It just makes me so happy as an artist!

Thank you! (Sorry tumblr deleted the original one lol)

thank you for the ask! and thank you even more for sending it twice lol!!

now, onto my thoughts. i totally see where you’re coming from. because you are right, part of being a demigod is having to deal with the crappy parts of both worlds. and as much as i would love for female-born demigods to not have to deal with periods, i can totally see them still having one.

so maybe it just works differently? maybe their cycles are longer and they only have a few periods a year? or maybe they are just way lighter? idk. but i still feel like they would work differently than regular humans

i definitely see where you’re coming from on the account of trans-demigods having to deal with it. there would definitely be an added emotional struggle with it along with the physical, and there’s a lot to explore there!

i love the idea of the children of different gods having different symptoms. like you mentioned athena’s kids having more headaches and migraines lol. and maybe ares kids get huge angry mood swings, and maybe aphrodite’s kids get really lovesick and cry every 3 seconds over couples doing cute things lol.

100% with you on the hunters not having one. no boyfriends = no sex = no babies = no period needed. they ain’t got time for that! they’ve got hot girl shit to do. like shooting people with arrows.

i also like the thought of demigods’ powers being heightened when they’re on their period lol. that’s hilarious. imagine a child of demeter having cramps and craving chocolate, and a cocao tree just spurts out of the ground LOL.

thank you for being so nice and wonderful towards people having different headcanons! and whether someone thinks demigods menstruate or not, it sounds like we can all agree that it’s at least different for them than it is for humans.

thank you for your thoughts! they were all super interesting!

[askshoutyasshole]

OKAY, I’VE NEVER DONE THIS SHIT BEFORE SO LET’S JUST GET THIS BULGE GRATINGLY AWKWARD INTRODUCTION POST OUT OF THE WAY

AS THE AUTHOR OF BASICALLY YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE (YOU’RE WELCOME FOR THAT, BY THE WAY), I’VE TAKEN IT UPON MYSELF TO MAKE A BLOG TO INFORM YOU ALL HOW FUCKING STONE COLD MORONIC YOU ALL ARE.  AND ALSO TO ANSWER QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE TOO, I GUESS. MOSTLY, IT’S THE FORMER. BECAUSE I’VE WITNESSED BASICALLY YOUR SPECIES’ ENTIRE TIMELINE, FROM THE PITIFUL BEGINNINGS TO ITS PATHETIC TERMINATION, AND LET ME TELL YOU IT’S FAR FROM MIND BLOWING. IT’S MORE AKIN TO WATCHING A SLOWLY DEFLATING BALLOON LET OUT ONE LAST, DISMAL BURST OF FLATULENCE, AS IT FINALLY SETTLES INTO ITS TRUE FORM THE THING IT WAS ALWAYS DESTINED TO BE A SAD, FLOPPY SCRAP OF RUBBER ON THE GROUND.

WHERE WAS I GOING WITH THIS?  SHIT RIGHT, THE ASK BLOG.

SINCE I SEEM TO HARBOR AN UNSHAKEABLE LOATHING FOR MYSELF AND HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO OTHER THAN SLOWLY DIE ON THIS ROCK, I FIGURED I WOULD DEIGN TO ANSWER WHATEVER QUESTIONS YOU SHITHEADS MIGHT HAVE FOR ME BECAUSE I’M ESSENTIALLY TAKING UP THE REIGNS AS NOT ONLY YOUR GOD BUT ALSO SOMEWHAT OF AN EXPERT ON ALL OF YOUR DEEPLY ROOTED FLAWS AND FAILINGS AS A SPECIES.

AND IF YOU’RE NOT A HUMAN... I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ACTUALLY, GO NUTS. SEND ME AN ASK ANYWAY.  ASIDE FROM DISHING OUT WELL-DESERVED FUCK YOUS, I CAN ALSO BESTOW MY FRANKLY SUPERIOR OPINIONS ON CINEMA AND GIVE ADVICE ON QUADRANTS, SINCE I’M ALSO A FUCKING SAVANT AT ROMANCE.

AND UH... YEAH. DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT WITH THIS, I DON’T CARE.

H4H4H4H4H4 K4RK4T, OH MY GOD, YOUR3 4CTU4LLY M4K1NG TH4T BLOG??

SHUT THE FUCK UP TEREZI! YOU’RE HEREBY BANNED FROM EVER SHOWING YOUR SHITEATING GRIN ON MY BLOG. SUUUR333  L1K3 TH4TLL STOP M3 >;] HEY, WHAT ARE YOU- AGH!

H3Y LOS3RS! YOU SHOULD TOT4LLY SUBM1T 4SKS FOR M3 4ND US OTH3R TROLLS TOO S1NC3 W3 4R3 4LL *CL34RLY* MOR3 1NT3R3ST1NG TH4N NUBBY HORN3D K4RK4T  Hey! She has good a point. :::)  I Think I Am Good

FUCK OFF! *NONE* OF YOU OBNOXIOUS SHITHEADS ARE ALLOWED ON MY BLOG! DON’T ACTUALLY SEND ASKS FOR THEM, *PLEASE*.

WELL, YOU’RE NOT OBNOXIOUS KANAYA. YOU CAN MAKE SOME GUEST APPEARANCES IF YOU’D LIKE.  I Believe I Made Myself Clear On My State Of Contentment In Not Being Involved Whatsoever But I Suppose I Wouldnt Mind Showing Up A Couple Times

ANYWAY, I’D LIKE TO REITERATE THIS IS *MY* BLOG. NOT A SPACE TO PLATFORM PUTRID JACKASSES AND THEIR GOD-BARFING REPUGNANT OPINIONS.

K4RK4T! 1F TH4TS TH3 C4S3 TH3N WHY 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG?

FJKLSFDRGJLK;DFGRO;IUJ D RIOUG FUCK YOU, INTRODUCTORY POST OVER.

[alovelyburn]

Hello, I can’t help but feel that the criticism of the rape in berserk and misogyny is completely invalidated by the fact that this is realistically what would happen, it’s meant to show the worst of humanity, trying to censor it would be more misogynistic as you’re not showing what actually happens to women. It’s a bit hypocritical to claim feminism but then argue for a woman to be removed from the story, or to argue that showing women suffering is misogynistic. It’s almost like Miura is the real feminist because he’s actually showing women partaking in this world and going through realistic suffering and challenges instead of just being a Mary Sue like 99% of modern female characters.

I don't personally have any issues with rape or misogyny being used in stories provided it isn't being portrayed as something to admire or approve of, which it isn't in Berserk.

That said, stories aren't supposed to be realistic, they're supposed to be compelling and interesting. This is one of the things that any basic writing course or book will tell you - fiction is a metaphor for reality, not a reiteration of it. If you think about the things that happen in fiction, even fiction that feels realistic, they're still going to be full of things that don't work that way in the real world. For example, generally people don't change their perspective because of a single epiphanic moment in real life - it's more of a process - but it happens in fiction all the time because watching someone think about something while inching along toward doing something about it for literal years in real time is boring.

Anyway, what I'm getting at here is that from a pure storytelling perspective there comes a point where the use of a single narrative device, regardless of how realistic it is, ceases to be effective and starts to feel repetitive. Mileage varies on when that is, yes, but that's basically where I got with Casca specifically - sure it's realistic but it's also overused as a story beat.

My biggest issue with the rape in Berserk, though, is that it's often exploitatively drawn. Though I imagine that has a lot to do with the fact that most of what runs in Young Animal is like... naked girls for horny men.

As for Miura and feminism, look, I'm a Miura stan in almost all areas. I'm barely critical of the series at all - I have a few complaints but overall there's very little I'd change. And I do think Miura put a lot more effort into his female characters than many mangaka have done, and he did speak specifically about not wanting them to be hormone bait and wanting them to be interesting and well-fleshed out.

That said, he also said he had a difficult time writing women because he didn't know any women, and that he wouldn't have any women in the series at all if he could get away with it.

Finally, you're not going to get anywhere with me by suggesting that it's inherently anti-feminist to think a story would be better without a specific female character - which I didn't even say, so I'm not sure why you're complaining to me about it.

Casca isn't "a woman," she's a character. People are allowed to dislike characters.

[moonjxsung]

For me I don’t really know where it comes from but I can’t bring myself to talk about it out loud to anyone or anywhere cause I feel like I’m disgusting for it like

Like I’m too disgusting to be even allowed to talk about it I don’t know if I explain well like

« Ew she’s so ugly and she dares thinking about stuff like that »

Yeah I have issues 🥹🫶🏻

I love you so much and respect you for being such a safe place to me and so many people 🩷🩷

- 🏴‍☠️

No I totally get this ! I think I was exposed to smut and sexual themes from a really young age and I started writing smut when I was maybe 13 years old which sort of messed with my brain and made me have SUCH unrealistic expectations. And now as an adult I’ve been through hell and back with real life relationships and I just feel so reluctant to fully open up to people or settle for anything less than what I fantasize about tbh. I think there’s also definitely something to be said about the expectations of us (especially women) to look a certain way in order to almost be granted permission to think or act sexually. Like if you’re not “super hot” it comes off as “weird” or “desperate” but if you are hot then people are so drawn to you and you’re allowed to be a sexual being. And simultaneously you will get called slut, whore etc. You honestly just don’t win as a woman.

BUT I really like reiterating that you guys aren’t alone in your minds and that how you feel is nothing to be ashamed about. I still get the impending guilt as an effect of my antidepressants and I’m constantly fearing that I’m less as a person for having sexual thoughts or being a sexual person in nature but it’s what makes us human, and I think fanfic is almost just doing it through a more poetic and palatable lens. Men consume hours of porn and women read erotic novels- why can’t we consume erotica about men we’re mutually attracted to? No shame in that.

I love you guys and I hope that if you get one thing out of my blog it’s to leave your guilt behind and just let yourself unashamedly like what you want to like. I work a corporate 9-5 job and yet when I clock out for the day I’m here talking with you guys about our attraction to boy bands- but the reality is that we ALL have another version of ourselves we go home to, and you’re not different from anyone for being that.

(And I love you !)🫶💓

[tc-doherty]

The Basic Logic of Sword-Fighting Part 2

@caffeine-bee​ @outpost51​ @sam-glade​​ @liv-is​​ I tagged everyone who seemed particularly interested.

Part 1.

The last one had the basic information, this one is still information but it's a bit more scattered, just sort of things to think about.

It is important to note that everything that I talk about is from the perspective of someone who studied Bolognese fencing, and I do talk about that down below too because it has features which are not necessarily found in other styles of sword fighting.

Some photos again too!

First and most importantly, I am reiterating this again. Traditional fencing is not modern fencing. Modern fencing is a sport. Traditional sword fighting is meant to kill your opponent.

I did not own gear, so I was never allowed to practice at more than one quarter speed. It’s difficult to see but this is the edge of my sword where it did not receive a lot of contact:

and this is where it did frequently receive contact:

One quarter speed, and my steel sword is full of dents. Traditional sword fighting is by its very nature, dangerous.

If you want to do a scene where characters are learning how to fight or are sparring for fun either they can't go at full speed or they have to, have to be wearing protective gear. Using a blunt weapon is not enough to protect you.

I did speak about this a few days ago and got the story a bit mixed up BUT one guy in my class went to a competition and he came back with his hand in bandages because his opponent managed to – by accident, of course – put his blunt sword all the way through my classmate’s hand.

I've heard so many stories about people breaking each other's ribs or other bones, and that's with gear. So just remember that this is literally dangerous by design.

Every area has its own style of fighting, and those are not necessarily compatible.

Bolongese sword fighting has a lot of things in it that you would think would be standard like "always stand in a defensive position" and "always have your sword pointed at your opponent". But this is not the case. Bolognese fencing actually tends to be fairly defensive. You are usually trying to trick your opponent into making the first move so that you can parry (or attack them while they are still in the middle of trying to attack you, or whatever method you're going with), rather than rushing into make the first move yourself.

The aforementioned broken ribs are often people who study German swordsmanship (which does encourage you to always be on the offensive), and they have a bad habit of running straight into swords that they don't think are going to be there because Bolognese is somewhat unusual in the “sword point always front” style.

Having characters from two different regions fighting is a really good excuse to do some really fun, stupid stuff and get people injured (or killed).

You can think about what the national style is and how that affects the fighting style. For instance, the unofficial rule of Bolognese fencing (I say unofficial even though multiple masters wrote it practically Word for Word in their treatises lol) is that you have to be elegant. It's literally better to lose gracefully than to win without elegance. And that determines what all of our movements and guards look like, because they have to be beautiful as well as functional.

Swords are actually not the weapon of choice most of the time but the Rule of Cool will have its day.

A single-handed sword (like the one that I used primarily) was called a side sword or an arming sword. It is something that people would have carried for defense when they were traveling but on the battlefield it's usually a backup weapon.

But swords are cool and we love them.

The thing about any kind of historical fighting is that it's an entire school. The movements for the single-handed sword in Bolognese sword fighting are not that different from the two-handed sword, or the pole arm, or the dagger, or the cane. This is the table of contents for one of the masterworks I have:

These are all the same style, based on the same ideas, and any character who actually was trained (if they were noble or royal, for instance) would be skilled at using many different kinds of weapons.

This is variations of the same sword guard for single-handed and two-handed sword:

It’s all the same style.

These are illustrations taken from the same manual showing different weapons:

You can also do some fun things like sword & dagger or sword/dagger & cloak. Generally whatever is in your other hand would be used for blocking but not always. If you don't have anything in your other hand then it should be behind your back because you do not want to make it a target.

More information about baits and invitations.

There are roughly two functions of a guard in Bolognese sword fighting. Some guards are purely defensive and some allow you to attack from them. This is because as stated above, Bolognese is always in a guard. The only time you're not in any kind of defensive position is when you are in the middle of attacking. Every attack is just the midpoint between moving from one guard to another guard. Therefore, naturally, some guards are designed to allow you to attack.

(There is an exercise in Bolognese called "walking through the guards" and it's exactly what it sounds like. You just walk, stepping from one guard into another guard into another guard forwards and backwards because every movement in Bolognese is from one guard into another)

If someone is standing in a defensive guard, and they aren't moving, and they don't show any weaknesses, you are not going to go attack them. It's not necessarily wise or elegant to attack first and therefore, it's not Bolognese. You should attack at the opportune moment.

That's what baiting really is. You intentionally alter your posture to show a weakness to get your opponent to think they can break your guard. It can't be too subtle or they won't notice it, and it also can't be too obvious or else they'll know that it's a trick. Bolognese sword fighting is actually pretty strategic.

There is also one other method of doing this that I didn't remember to talk about in my other post which is called stringere (constrain). When you constrain someone, you have your sword along their sword and you just very slowly walk forward, exerting pressure on their blade. This forces them to either attack you or back off entirely. It is actually pretty intimidating to be on the receiving end of!

If they don't move fast enough you can just stab them (there are actually several types of thrusts in Bolognese but we don't need to get into it. A thrust is more or less a thrust, it just might come from a slightly different direction).

One of the things that a stringere is good for is trying to encourage them to beat your sword away, at which point you drop your sword. They encounter empty air but they've moved with a lot of force, which leaves them wide open, and then you attack them. There are some other responses that they can do to this but that's just one option. It's just a more aggressive way of forcing the situation than a bait, so it's interesting to talk about.

It’s not exactly one-to-one.

I said in my other post that you learn “if opponent does attack A you respond with B.” That isn't inaccurate but most things that you can do will have more than one possible response. That's where strategy comes into play again. Even if you bait in a certain pose, they still might have three attacks that they can do and each one of those attacks might have two or three responses.So you always have to be thinking ahead as well as paying attention to your opponent.

Most one-on-one fights are fast.

I never saw a sparring session between two people that lasted more than five minutes without one of them "winning". And some of them were as short as 45 seconds, or a minute. When you're moving at speed, you are really moving at speed and that shit is fast.

So if you're doing a friendly sparring match, it would actually be several different matches with the characters resetting to base position once somebody has won.

[taxinealkaloids]

I am insane about the pre-canon Gertrude/Elias/Agnes dynamic...you know those three were not normal about each other. Imo Agnes rlly would not like Elias b/c of the weird bond he and Gertrude share, and this only gets worse when you consider the fact that E&G probs slept together & now Agnes has to know abt it

Oh she wants to set him on fire for sure, but also, I think Agnes perceives Elias as a person who Gets What He Wants. I think Agnes would really, really like to be a person who Gets What She Wants and, despite growing up the spoiled child-Messiah of the Lightless Flame cult, I think she feels deprived. I think the Lightless Flame gave her anything she asked for as long as it didn't really matter, and that she feels rather condescended to by their indulgence. The thing about the Lightless Flame is, they really didn’t know what they were doing lmao. like they just sorta went “what if we set this pregnant woman on fire” hoping they would get a messiah out of it and that said messiah would just sort of magically Understand. Agnes, imo, does not sort of magically understand, and as a result I imagine she would be pretty hungry for more information about the nature of her own being and her connection with the Desolation and what exactly was expected of her. Of course, the cult of the Lightless Flame can’t give her answers because they don’t HAVE them, they’re flying by the seat of their pants with this shit. But they have to pretend like they know what they’re doing (at least in front of Agnes), and so they’re purposefully cagey and secretive with essential information, trying to maintain the illusion that they know more than they do. I imagine this drives Agnes up the wall (and has been the reason more than one cultist was melted). She’s their god’s Chosen One and yet still is treated like a bratty child who can’t be trusted to be in charge of her own life. So, when she encounters Elias, champion of the Beholding, with his careful control of everything around him and his ability to simply Know things, to ask for information and be told (and, if a subject isn’t forthcoming, to coerce the needed information from them), there’s this weird sort of jealous admiration alongside her annoyance at his existence. 

Because she’s devoid of any Beholding truth-sensing powers, I don’t think Agnes can tell when Elias’s projected sense of control is genuine vs an illusion he’s crafting, and so he comes across as always unruffled and secure, which I think is an enviable position to her. I think she’s almost indignant that Elias, despite serving an obviously inferior god, gets to be so unbothered, have so much agency, and, on top of it, gets claim over Gertrude, who obviously should belong to Agnes and Agnes alone. It’s a very trying situation for her. It’d be SO MUCH EASIER to just MELT HIS FACE OFF. ugh. but gertrude said no. (For his part, I think Elias is VERY CAREFUL about how close he allows Agnes to get because, despite the fact that he’s quite good at acting unafraid, he isn’t, and is aware that if he slips up around her, she could and would kill him. which, obviously, is to be avoided at all costs. I answered an ask about these 3 a while ago in which I described Elias seeing Agnes the way you would see an extremely rare and deadly venomous snake; interesting, beautiful even, but you’re sure as hell not letting your guard down around it.) 

Anyway yeah this is all just a very lengthy way to reiterate what you said, which is that you know these three were not normal about each other. I still want to make more art for my headcanons about them because they still take up a corner of my brain even though it’s been a while since I’ve actually posted anything, so thanks for the excuse to ramble about my perceived dynamic for them a bit! There’s so much potential there. 

[ghcstao3]

(scrapped) soapghost christmas

i realize it is february. However… however. yes.

this fic was gonna be my contribution to (tbh one of my favourite tropes) the whole idea of soap brings ghost home for the holidays because why not. but alas. check below the cut

*

“We’re friends, right, LT?”

It takes Soap all of two seconds of being subjected to Ghost’s intense stare to decide that maybe he shouldn’t be asking that sort of question of Ghost, but it also only takes all of two more seconds of slightly less intensity to decide that yes, they were, in fact, friends.

Soap allows himself a self-assured nod as he sits on the edge of Ghost’s desk. He winces when he hears papers that were most likely of some importance crinkle beneath him, but Soap pushes that concern aside to be dealt with at a later time. Right now, he has important business to attend to.

“Great,” Soap continues. “I have an idea. As your friend.”

Ghost abandons the form he’d been working on to sit back in his chair, exhaling a deep and distantly pained sigh as intense melts away for unimpressed, and rightfully so. Soap offers a meek smile, but it does nothing to mitigate the way Ghost’s eyebrows are irritably furrowed.

“It’s December,” Soap says. He’s slowly coming to a realization that perhaps he doesn’t want to dig himself into this hole, but he also supposes it’s too late to back out now. Soap just wants Ghost to fill in the pieces so he doesn’t have to finish, or say what he means to, but the hope is easily diminished in Ghost’s continued silence.

It’s torture.

Underneath his balaclava, Ghost’s eyebrows raise just noticeably.

“It’s December,” Soap reiterates. “And Price refuses to assign you more missions than usual.”

Ghost narrows his eyes at Soap. “What are you getting at, Sergeant?”

Soap swallows nervously. He shifts where he sits without meaning to, incidentally ruining more of the papers beneath him. Ghost would certainly kill him later, if not in a few short seconds.

“Leave,” Soap blurts. Ghost’s eyes widen a tad, just a moment before Soap can backtrack. “Sorry, no, not like—like taking a leave—a leave of absence, is what I meant.”

Ghost shakes his head, sighing again as he moves to stack the documents before him, tossing the pen he’d been using in a drawer. “I don’t have time for this, MacTavish. Either spit it out or take your own advice before I do.”

“I cannae believe you’re making me say this, LT.”

“I’m not making you say anything, Johnny.”

Soap huffs, his shoulders curving in on themselves as if his posture wasn’t already poor enough. He thinks, despite all missions he’s ever participated in, despite all the times he’s been shot, stabbed, or broken in some way, this is the most difficult thing he’s ever done, and it was brought about by his own volition.

Maybe this is what hell is. Maybe Soap is in hell.

Uselessly, Soap shrugs. “I just figured that you weren’t going home for the holidays, even though Price won’t give you more than paperwork, so I thought to invite you out to Glasgow,” Soap admits. “Because we’re friends, and you shouldn’t have to be left alone with rookies for the holidays.”

Unhelpfully, Ghost just grunts. He pushes away from the desk and stands, letting regret seep into and stew in Soap’s chest like some cruel and unusual punishment. Surely, this is hell, and Soap has been condemned to an eternity of embarrassing himself in front of his superior officer.

“Because we’re friends?” Ghost finally says. His tone is neutral, balanced, and Soap can’t yet tell if he’s mad, or… anything else, really.

Soap stares at Ghost. His balaclava is too open, too honest, where Ghost’s eyes aren’t further hidden and darkened by the shadow of his mask. Soap tilts his head forward in a nod, just barely. “Affirmative.”

After several seconds that seemed to stretch on forever, Ghost hums. “I’ll think about it.”

[stealingpotatoes]

The Lone Eagle

summary: Young Altaïr says he can fight a fellow novice blindfolded. The other Assassins don't believe him.

--

Not all of being an Assassin could be taught in practical tutorial. Some things, such as the uses and types of poisons, had to be taught in the library, by a master Assassin to a class of novice trainees. 

And Altaïr knew these lessons were important. He paid apt attention every lesson, making sure to remember everything he was told. However, not every student did. 

“Ugh, all this theory is so difficult,” started one boy -- Haroun -- as the thirteen and fourteen year old novices left the the class, spilling out into Masyaf’s hallways. “I can never do it -- I guess it’s a good thing I can fight so well, to make up for it!” 

Altaïr huffed in amusement. 

It did not go unnoticed. “Something funny, Altaïr?” 

Haroun was Altaïr’s height, if a little taller, and wearing the same grey-and-white trainee tunic as him. They had various classes together, but they had barely beyond a few short conversations interacted before now.

Altaïr stopped. After a moment, he turned to face Haroun; “Yes.”

“What?”

“The idea that you are any good at fighting.” 

A few of the other trainees laughed and snickered for a moment, before quietening down. Some others had sensed what might be happening, and decided to stick around for what came next. 

Haroun folded his arms. “Do you think you’re so much better than me at fighting?” 

“I do. In fact, I could beat you blindfolded.”

“What?” Haroun snickered, glancing around at the other trainees, as if to ask ‘are you all hearing this too?’. “No, you could not. Come on, Altaïr, you do not need to make up stories like this. We all know you’re a good Assassin like the rest of us.”

Like the rest of us. No. That wasn’t good enough. That would never be good enough. He had to be more. 

“I can,” Altaïr reiterated. 

“Prove it.” 

Altaïr kept the cool and calm expression on his face. “Fine. The training ground will not be in use at this time,” he said, gesturing in the vague direction of where all the Assassins, novices and masters alike, learnt their sword skills. 

Haroun’s brow furrowed, and he guffawed quietly – that wasn’t the answer he was expecting. He was looking around at the other boys, that same silent question in his eyes. 

Altaïr tilted his head to the side. “Unless you're too much of a coward to fight me.”

“No, of course not!” Haroun’s expression twisted into brief fury, before he lifted his chin in indignation, and his face fell back to its trained calm. “Let’s go.” 

Haroun quickly led the way, Altaïr following like a hawk’s shadow. The other boys -- slowly growing in number as other novices noticed the crowd, now at about twelve or thirteen -- trailed behind them both eagerly. They might have all been Assassins in training, the blades of the next generation -- but they were all still little boys who wanted to see a good fight. Or, failing that, to see Altaïr and his confidence knocked down a peg after he failed this impossible feat. 

Altaïr would show them the former, for he was not about to be defeated. His confidence was entirely founded -- even if they couldn’t believe that. 

They soon reached the training ring. Someone had just been using it to teach, and so a sword rack stood fully-stocked against the fence. That, a least, saved them a trip to the armoury and trying to make up an explanation to the weapons master, for young novices could not carry their own swords and were not allowed to spar without a master present. 

Haroun drew closer to it. “Perhaps using wooden swords would be a good idea? Given you will not be able to see.” There was concern in his voice -- but was it concern for Altaïr's safety, or his own? Had Altaïr's unfettered confidence reached into the boy’s heart and blackened it with a dark fear?

Altaïr hoped so. 

“Metal is fine,” he said calmly.

Haroun nodded, and leant to down the the rack. Altaïr took the second Haroun was grabbing their swords to scan the crowd of eager boys. He knew all of them; most were his own age, some a little older or younger. The youngest -- and most eager -- was probably Kadar Al-Sayf, out in front. Standing just behind his excited brother, Malik caught Altaïr’s eye. But his expression was unreadable; Altaïr could not tell if his features held contempt, interest, or worry. 

Haroun finally handed Altaïr the training sword -- blunt, but still able to harm in the right hands -- by the hilt. Altaïr took it, weighting it out in his hands as the two of them entered the fenced-off training ring. 

“Your blindfold?” Haroun then asked skeptically.

Before Altaïr could use part of his sash, a trainee in the crowd handed him a long strip of ripped fabric. Altaïr took it, examining it for a second -- perfectly fine, and not too rough. The others actually wanted to see if he could do this. And they didn’t want him to cheat. 

Altaïr nodded at the trainee in almost-thanks, and wrapped the fabric tight around his head. It was opaque and tight enough to blind any other -- but Altaïr was not any other. He took a slow breath and focused the world into a sea of deep blue-grey. The outlines and the training ring of the castle appeared lightly, partially blocked by short and ally-coloured, light blue figures around the ring. 

Lifting his chin, he settled his eyes on the battle-stanced figure before him -- Haroun.   

“Ready?” Haroun asked, obviously unsure. 

“Ready.”

Altaïr spun his sword in his hand. It was a small flourish, and seemingly useless -- but against an easily-taunted enemy, who expected him to be incapable, it was invaluable.  

Haroun lunged forward to attack. Altaïr swiftly dodged, allowing Haroun to stumble forward. He gave the boy a moment of shock before he countered, Haroun barely blocking it. And with that, an impossible rhythm began.

There were few times Altaïr felt peace. It seemed hypocritical that one of those times would be in a fight, but the adrenaline, the focus-- it drained everything away to the moment. Everything was simple. It was all watching as the figure before him changed stance, changed mood or intent, and responding as he did. He dodged, feigned, attacked -- until he saw an opening. Haroun’s stance was uneven, unready. Easy to floor. Altaïr dropped and swept his opponent’s legs with his own. 

Haroun smacked to the sandy floor in an undignified oof. 

Altaïr rose up swiftly and stepped forward to point his sword at Haroun's neck. “Told you.” 

He tilted his head at the boy, eagle eyes taking in the emotion dripping off the boy; fear. Pure fear -- all for Altaïr, the blindfolded thirteen-year-old standing over him. 

Good.

Altaïr stepped back and spun his sword in hand again. After a moment, he lifted the blindfold off and threw it to the ground. Though his eyes remained on Haroun in front of him, he knew exactly how the other boys were looking at the two of them. The silence around them was entirely stunned. 

“What are you?” Haroun spat after a beat, still sprawled on the ground. 

“I am your better,” Altaïr replied, voice as controlled as his swordsmanship. “Remember that in future.”

Whatever Haroun might have said next was immediately interrupted when a boy yelled “A master is coming!”

The shocked silence broke, the boys snapping out of their awe. The crowd split fast, the trainees rushing in every direction. Altaïr was one of them, certainly not bold or stupid enough to face a master after his illegal fight.

He hopped the fence smoothly, leaving Haroun slowly getting up. 

“Jinn,” the boy hissed as Altaïr left. Demon. 

-:-

The view from the rooves of Masyaf castle was always calming. Up here, among the circling birds and in the friendly blue sky, everything seemed simpler. 

Once fairly certain he was out of sight of whichever Assassin had come to check out the crowd -- or out of reach, for even if an elder Assassin had seen him, Altaïr was a faster climber than at least half of the masters -- Altaïr had slowed his pace and traversed the walls and rooves of Masyaf castle towards his favourite perch -- where he sat now. 

Jinn, Haroun had said. 

Altaïr had been called a demon or a spirit more times than he could count over his life. At first he had hated it; he was just a boy, not some supernatural being. But now he relished in it, in the idea of being something else, something other. Something better. 

Someone scuffed their footsteps below, and Altaïr tore his gaze from the sky to the ground. He huffed out his nose. “What do you want, Malik?”

Malik Al-Sayf stood down there in his white-and-grey novice uniform, hands on hips and staring directly up at Altaïr. “For you to come down from there so I can speak to you like a normal person,” he called flatly.

Altaïr kept his eyes on his fellow Assassin for a few seconds, before turning to look straight ahead. 

Malik sighed beneath. “Insufferable,” he muttered.

Altaïr didn’t take his eyes off the open sky, returned to its unbothered near-peace -- until a grunting came from below. Altaïr snapped his gaze down -- only to see Malik trying to climb the wall. 

What is he doing?! he thought as he watched Malik gingerly seek handholds and juts in the stone for his feet. He was much slower than Altaïr, and moved with far less swift grace than him -- but he was certainly climbing, and steadily so. 

Eventually Malik heaved himself over the ledge, and brought himself to stand up so he could dust his white robes off. 

Altaïr stared at him blankly. Why is he up here and what is he doing?

After a beat, Malik lowered himself back down to sit on the ledge, some inches from Altaïr.

Altaïr continued to stare. 

“That was quite the stunt you pulled with Haroun earlier,” Malik said. If Altaïr didn’t know better, he would’ve thought Malik looked impressed. “I’m not sure anyone expected you to win.” 

“Were you hoping I would fail?”

“I know you’re not to be underestimated,” Malik replied slyly. It wasn’t a yes or a no, but Altaïr didn’t quite care. “But,” he continued, “that’s not necessarily a good thing. Trying to pick fights with everyone and showing off isn’t exactly good way of making -- or keeping -- friends.”

“I know.” 

Malik raised an eyebrow. That wasn’t the answer he had been expecting. “...so why are you doing this?” 

Altaïr faced down. He knew why he did it. He knew why he pushed himself so hard in training, why he put it above trying to connect with other Assassins. It wasn't simply a desire to be better than his fellow novices, but to be better than himself. He didn't want to be Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad, the stupid tragic orphan whose father everyone had seen or heard be executed right in front of Masyaf. Everyone said Umar Ibn-La-Ahad was a hero, that he had given his life to save the entire Brotherhood and Masyaf. 

Yet Altaïr didn't want to be Umar’s son. He wanted his name to mean something else -- anything else. And he would much rather that the other boys said he was trying too hard or even that they feared him, all if it meant he wouldn't be the orphan.

But Altaïr would rather have jumped right off the ledge than told Malik any of that. So instead, he said nothing.

Silence did not follow Altaïr’s quiet. Somewhere in the distant blue sky, an eagle cawed. Down below, the village of Masyaf bustled with traders, its citizens, and Assassins returning from their missions far afield. The world was never truly silent -- Altaïr’s heightened senses made sure of that -- and so places like this, far above the world, were the closest thing he could find to peace and quiet. 

Malik soon grew bored of the world’s sounds and looked at Altaïr, arching his neck to try to see his fellow novice’s face. “Do you even know why you do it?” he asked. 

Altaïr turned his head away fully. 

Malik sighed. Altaïr did not need his Second Sight to sense the disappointment rolling off Malik in waves. 

“We're a Brotherhood, Altaïr,” Malik started, gesturing one of his hands in front of him, but leaving the other to carefully hold his perch. “We are meant to fight as one whole -- not as one alone. Haroun may have lost, but he at least knows this. He didn’t tell the masters that you were the other fighting in the ring.”

Altaïr glanced at Malik through the corner of his hood. I doubt he did that for the Brotherhood, he thought wryly. He just doesn’t want Al-Mualim to know he lost to a someone fighting blind. 

“But this path you are leading… it will not end well. For you or anyone in the Brotherhood, I think. It is not too late to change. You can fix this-- talk to the others more, stop trying to be alone. Make some allies.” 

“I don’t need your pity.”

Malik sighed. “I am not trying to give it. I am trying to stop any of this becoming a threat.”

Malik had chosen his words carefully, all too well-spoken for a thirteen-year-old. He hadn’t said what exactly would be a threat, nor to whom. He had not said whether he thought another would be a threat to Altaïr or… if Altaïr was to be a threat to the Brotherhood. 

After a beat, Altaïr mumbled. “Ok. You can go now.”

“I could have gone at any time.” Malik turned to face forward. “But I climbed all the way up here, so I am going to enjoy the view first.”

Altaïr glanced forward too. 

The two of them were not friends. But Malik was the other trainee who didn’t fear him -- and that was something. It had to be something.

[lightandfellowship]

Examining Vor's motivations

(Major KHDR spoilers)

So if you’ve experienced KHDR's story, then you’re probably aware of how...confusing and seemingly contradictory Vor’s motivations are, at least on an initial viewing. Because of this lack of clarity surrounding her circumstances and inner thoughts, it can be a little difficult to get a solid grasp on her character. However, I think her motivations, feelings, and choices start to make a lot more sense once you analyze her cutscenes closely. The key to understanding her, I think, is realizing how human her emotions are. And human emotions are oftentimes a complex web of contradictory ideas that can't always be easily defined, explained, or reconciled.

In light of this, I decided to engage in some character analysis where I examine her story more in-depth, going over some scenes from the game and trying to break down her motivations into something a bit more easily understood. (Also be forewarned that this post is fairly long and image heavy, so you might want to open it in a new tab or something.)

So, Episodes 1-2 aren’t very useful for analyzing Vor’s character, one because not much happens in those episodes, and two because those episodes utilize the “pick your party member” system where the characters are sometimes interchangable without many significant alterations of dialog (sometimes no alterations at all.) Technically��Episode 3 uses the same system, but at least here the dialog changes are substantial enough to make a bit of a difference. So let’s just start with the end of Episode 2 and go from there.

(FYI, I wanted to use even more images in this post, but I was running into some issues, so I decided to reduce the number of them. I apologize if the lack of an image in certain places creates any confusion.)

Episode 2/3

The end of Episode 2 has Vor noticing that Xehanort and Eraqus are scheming a plan together, and she's suspicious/curious enough to (rather forcefully) insert herself into the group so that she can get all the juicy details. That is if you choose to take her with you as your third party member, which...why wouldn’t you? It’s clearly what the story wants you to do.

But just for the sake of thoroughness, know that if you don't pick her, she'll dramatically pout with a "Aww..." and look really sad while everyone else smiles. It's played for laughs but she honestly looks pretty upset about it.

Anyway, when you give in to her request, she’s very pleased. She jumps up and down excitedly and says that Xehanort and Eraqus won’t regret bringing her along (even though Eraqus looks pretty unhappy about it). Even as early as this moment you can see that Vor likes being included in things and getting the opportunity to prove her usefulness/worth to her friends. As the episode goes on it becomes even more clear:

She gets upset when Eraqus still refuses to let her in on the plan despite allowing her to tag along, throwing a tantrum and smacking him repeatedly.

"Don't look so surprised. You made it pretty obvious." She reveals that she's way more observant than they give her credit for, correctly guessing that their plan involves the Queen of Hearts and her darkness.

"...so you were going to leave me to do your own research!"

She gets upset again when she finally learns the details of their plan and questions why they were leaving her out of it/refusing to let her help them.

And finally when Xehanort and Eraqus explain that they didn’t want to involve anyone else for fear of their classmates getting hurt, Vor ignores their concerns and confidently declares that they should go visit the queen together. Xehanort and Eraqus are, in a way, trying to exclude her from their plans with the excuse that she might come to harm, but she won't let them leave her behind.

Again, just to reiterate: it’s clear that she loves her friends a lot, wants to be included in everything they do, wants to feel like a useful, strong, reliable member of the team, and something that will be stated more directly later: she wants to feel like she belongs somewhere.

Episode 4

Where all the important stuff actually happens, but mostly at the end.

But some details of minor relevance before we get to that: Vor is the first one to rush off to help the seven dwarves when Xehanort, Eraqus, and Vor overhear that a cave-in happened in a mine. Makes sense; she’s naturally curious and likes to be helpful.

After they help the dwarves reunite, Vor makes a comment about how the seven dwarves remind her of her and her six classmates. Her friends and her place among them is fresh on her mind, for reasons that aren't known to the player yet but get revealed soon afterwards.

She also looks pretty pleased with herself to have a solution to Xehanort and Eraqus’ problem, when they say that tracking down Darkness isn't going to be easy. Vor corrects them, and reveals that she discovered an all-knowing Mirror that could potentially solve all of their problems. Again, this ties in to her desire to be a helpful member of the team.

But anyway, on to the actual meat of this whole thing.

Xehanort, Eraqus, and Vor go to speak to the Magic Mirror. The Queen interrupts their discussion, throws a potion at the mirror, and the group fights it. After it's defeated Vidar shows up, and compels Vor to reveal A Secret.

Here we learn through a flashback that when Vor first discovered the mirror, she discretely asked it a question of her own without telling her friends that she did this. She asked it if she would ever become a Keyblade Master.

A single sentence question, but it implies a lot about Vor. The fact that she’s asking this at all means that she isn’t confident in her abilities or her future. Even the use of the word "ever" suggests a level of desperation to her query.

So here's the thing: when Eraqus approaches the mirror, his first instinct is to ask a silly question like “How can I beat Xehanort at chess?”, and Xehanort makes no attempt to ask the mirror a personal question at all (though knowing him he would probably ask about his dream friends like MX does later in life). I imagine even if Hermod, Urd, and Bragi had the opportunity to ask the mirror a question, it wouldn’t be about the possibility of them failing to become a Keyblade Master, it would be about something else that bothers them. So I think this anxiety about failure might be unique to Vor specifically.

But what makes her think that she might not become a Keyblade Master? Some possibilities: maybe she feels like she’s falling behind on her studies compared to her friends. Maybe she feels like she’s become complacent in her comfort. Or maybe she feels like people underestimate her abilities because of her appearance and stature (Xehanort and Eraqus were shocked at her picking up that boulder, after all.) Vor is very observant and has a good intuition (even her name comes from a Norse goddess with this exact reputation) so if people were looking down on her, I think she would notice quickly. And this might be why she’s so eager/persistent to be included in activities and allowed to be useful. She feels like she has to prove herself constantly in order to be on the same level as her friends.

Anyway. The mirror gives its answer but it wasn’t the reassurance she was hoping for. “With friends thy heart doth lie, content and free of woe / In comfort stagnant calm, forward thou fail to go.” Let’s break this down line by line before we get into her reaction.

“With friends thy heart doth lie”. She spends a lot of time with her friends, yes, but also the focus of her heart, the focus of her affections, is directed at her friends (wouldn’t surprise me if they’re the most important people in the world to her).

“Content and free of woe”. She has a pretty good life with her friends, for the most part. “Content” doesn’t necessarily equate to an overabundance of happiness though, the connotation of it is like...satisfactory enough. Right? “I’m content with something” vs. “I’m overjoyed with something”. Things could...probably be better? Maybe underneath the surface Vor can tell that something is wrong, but since things are Good Enough, she doesn’t try to think about it too hard, y’know? Don’t fix what isn’t broken. This Is Fine. If I try to improve things I might accidentally make things worse instead.

“In comfort stagnant calm”. Comfort. Something that eases the pain. Friends who make you forget about the pain. Stagnant. Unchanging, unmoving, lifeless or unable to support life effectively (like stagnant water), unable to progress or develop or improve. Your friends are moving forward and bursting with potential and you are not. Calm. Stillness. Peace. But it’s unexciting, unrewarding, you’re not being challenged by anything or anyone and it isn’t conducive to improvement or learning.

“Forward thou fail to go.” Pretty open-ended wording, but since Vor was specifically asking about becoming a Keyblade Master, that must be the subject matter the mirror was answering about. For whatever reason being with her friends is going to prevent her from becoming a master. I kinda have a theory that the mirror was basically saying (in his usual cryptic unhelpful way) “if you stay with your friends you won’t become a Keyblade Master because you will DIE” but who knows.

Vor takes this. Not well. In fact, she’s very angry. She runs up to the mirror, gets right up in its face and yells at it, and then raises both of her arms up into the air like she wants to break it. We've seen this before where she’ll smack Eraqus over and over again (despite her official bio saying she shies away from battle, she’s surprisingly prone to some mild violence) but it almost seems like she’s ready to kill this thing, lmao.

She does say something interesting though. First she yells “That’s not true!” and then clarifies “I want to become a Keyblade Master as much as everyone else!”

Is that true? Is she just as motivated as everyone else? Maybe. Maybe not. We’ll get to that.

But the Mirror’s matter-of-fact statement about being literally incapable of lying makes her calm down real quick with a quiet "Oh."

We flashfoward back to the present. Vor explains her feelings in more detail.

She says that recently, she started to realize how she really feels. I think the moment she’s referring to is actually shown in the game: it’s the flashback that plays at the end of this scene where the lower classmen discuss their reasons for wanting to become Keyblade Masters. So let’s go out of order a little bit and talk about that.

Vor asks all her friends why they want to become Keyblade Masters. It’s hard to say exactly why she brings this up, whether she had a specific reason or if it was just idle chatter. Everyone gives their reasons and at the end Eraqus returns the question to Vor. Why do you want to become a Keyblade Master, Vor? And wow Vor practically goes through the five stages of grief within the span of five seconds when asked this.

First she’s a little taken aback, like she didn’t have an answer prepared (because she didn’t). Then she looks confused, like she’s NEVER BEFORE asked herself this question and is suddenly realizing that her brain can’t find motivation dot exe. Then she looks HORRIFIED, the true implications of what this means dawning on her. And then realizing that she needs to put back on her cheerful mask before her friends start to suspect something, she pulls herself together enough to come up with an excuse for why she can’t answer. She makes a joke about how wishes won’t come true if you say them out loud so HAH I tricked all of you! Now NONE of you will become Keyblade Masters!

So. Okay. That was a lot of emotions she just went through in a short period of time. But what does it all mean? I think it means that she never once stopped to consider why she wanted to become a Keyblade Master, because she was just following in her friends’ footsteps. She wants to go wherever her friends go, that’s all. Like a baby duck following a bunch of other baby ducks. Oh, all of my friends are joining the Keyblade wielder program? That’s gonna take up a lot of their time and I won’t get to spend as much time with them as a result...wait, what if I join too? Then I get to hang out with them during school and outside of school, and we get to go to class together and do activites together and go to lunch together and I get to belong somewhere and and and! Oh, why would I want to become a Keyblade Master? Shhhh don’t ask me that la la la la I can’t hear you!!!

What’s interesting though is that despite seemingly coming to realize that she might not actually have her own personal motivations for becoming a Keyblade Master, she still asks the mirror if she'll ever become one as if she still wants to. Maybe it’s not a matter of needing to find a different path in life, maybe she just needs to find a better reason for wanting to become a Keyblade Master? Or maybe she just wants to prove herself capable and strong enough to accomplish this feat? Or maybe she was in denial? I guess denial would make the most sense actually since she reacted pretty strongly to the mirror's implication that she wasn’t as motivated as her friends, even though she’s probably already realized this about herself at this point.

Her lack of a definite reason isn’t the only thing she realizes, though. She also realizes that even if she finds her true motivation, even if she successfully becomes a Keyblade Master, one of her other desires will inevitably escape from her grasp: her desire to be with her friends. Because for whatever reason, the path of the Keyblade Master requires them to go on their own separate paths. And even in the scenario where Vor fails to become a Master, she has no reason to believe that her friends will fail alongside her, meaning that they would all eventually leave her to go do their own thing anyway.

So, you can see where all the contradictory feelings start to converge. She wants to become a Keyblade Master. She doesn’t want to become a Keyblade Master. Actually, maybe she does want to become a Keyblade Master? But in the very least she wants to do it for a better reason than “because her friends are doing it”. But wait, if she and her friends become Keyblade Masters, then they’ll go their separate ways and they won’t be together anymore. Vor doesn’t think she can handle that. But what could she possibly do to prevent that? She can’t ask her friends to give up on their dreams just to make her happy. So is separation inevitable, then? In that case, how can she reduce the pain of that separation? The longer she stays with her friends, the more she’ll grow to love them, and the harder the separation will be. But what if she left now? Wouldn’t that be easier in the long run? Plus, the mirror said that staying with her friends will prevent her from growing, so isn't leaving undeniably a good thing?

And so she leaves.

It seems that Vor’s departure from the group kills two birds with one stone: leaving her comfortable bubble allows her to escape the stagnation that’s been plaguing her development, and it also allows her to preemptively nip in the bud the pain that’s only going to grow more and more unbearable over time. She’s essentially ripping the bandaid off in one fell swoop rather than peeling it back slowly and painfully.

As for Vidar...at least initially, Vor’s decison to help him probably had nothing to do with wanting to help him and everything to do with just needing a good excuse to finally bite the bullet. He gave her an out and she took it. After all, Vidar gave her NO EXPLANATION whatsoever on what his plans were. How could she possibly judge whether or not he was worth helping with zero information to go off of? However, once she finds out that Vidar is trying to do something “noble” and “good” (defeat darkness) I imagine it wasn’t too hard to get her on board. Though I’d be curious to know what she thought about the whole “purging the world” thing. Unless he just kept that part under wraps and was vague about what “defeating darkness” actually entailed.

The next time we see Vor after her departure is in the lamp room in Agrabah. She doesn’t say much in this scene other than reiterating that she wants to help Vidar. However, there are two moments during this scene where I think we can get a glimpse at what she's really thinking. The first:

Here we see Hermod angrily denouncing Vidar's plan, saying that what they're doing is wrong. And Vor looks pretty startled and upset about that. She's probably not too comfortable knowing that her friends don't approve of what she's doing.

Second, is when Vidar says this:

And now look at how her expression changes with each line of dialog.

She starts off sad/worried, then becomes a little more despondent, and then gets really upset (eyes shut tight).

Vidar talks about losing sight of what's truly important, and when Xehanort asks what that important thing is, Vidar basically says "my friends, and us fighting by each other's side."

Interesting thing to say in front of someone who you helped convince to leave her friends, and therefore is no longer fighting by their side...

You could argue that Vor is only making these faces because she's sad/upset about what happened to the upperclassmen, but it's so much more interesting to me to think that in this moment, she's starting to seriously doubt her decision to leave.

One other thing. At the end of this scene when she’s about to leave, there’s a pretty sad moment between her and Eraqus. Vor looks at Eraqus, who is GLARING DAGGERS at her. She's upset about it for a split second before her expression becomes determined instead (sucking it up, trying to harden her resolve). She walks through the portal and leaves, and Eraqus, perhaps realizing that his anger isn’t actually making him feel any better, drops his glare and goes back to being sad instead. But here's the thing: she never sees him drop his anger. She leaves thinking that Eraqus hates her right now. Why is that important? Because it’s the last interaction they have before they meet up again during Vor’s death scene. Oh. Great. :’)

Speaking of her death scene. Yeah that’s the next time we see her. Or, we see her talking to Baldr a couple of times before this, but her death scene is the next relevant topic.

Vor apologies, saying she messed up big time. Eraqus incorrectly assumes she's talking about...her death? Not being able to stop Baldr? Something like that. But she clarifies she's not talking about now, she's talking about her decision to leave her friends behind. Leaving them was a mistake. A mistake that, in her eyes, was her fault. Since she's dying she doesn't really delve into why it was a mistake or how she came to that realization. Instead she simply states "This is where I belong."

Whatever happened on her journey with Vidar, she must have concluded that leaving her friends early on in order to minimize her pain later wasn't the right call. Why? Because her true place of belonging was with them, regardless of the inevitable pain that may result from that.

Perhaps she thinks that leaving them was a moment of weakness, that she should have been stronger, strong enough to endure the pain. Perhaps she thinks that her friends deserved better, didn't deserve to be "selfishly" abandoned by her. Perhaps she realized that Vidar's plan was wrong and she shouldn't have left her friends to join him. Or perhaps she simply realized that being separated from them actually caused her more pain in the long run, which would kinda defeat the point of her decision to leave them in the first place. Either way, she ultimately changes her mind about leaving her friends, seemingly re-finding her purpose in a life she already had before but now has tragically lost.

Without further information about Vor's journey, it's hard to say if she ever got closure to...anything. Does she still want to be a Keyblade Master, or no? Is she still afraid of change/not changing? What does her decision to return to her friends mean for her character? Because like, it's entirely possible that her choice to return was a form of character regression, where she realized that she couldn't handle being disconnected from comfort and familiarity. Or maybe it wasn't! Maybe she realized that she could fight against her stagnation and her tendency to follow others without having to abandon everyone in her life to accomplish that, and we just don't get to see that because she died prematurely. With so little information to go off of, I think it ultimately comes down to personal interpretation. What flavor of tragedy do you want her death to be? What kind of resolution do you want for her character arc (positive or negative)? Is the tragedy of her death that she crawled back to her bubble and remained stagnant? Or is it that she died right as she achieved enlightenment about her true desires and her place in the world, meaning she didn't get to reap the benefits of her character development?

Anyway, that's about everything I have to say about Vor for now. If you have any thoughts or feedback, feel free to send them my way in the form of tags, reblogs, replies, or asks. I'd be curious to hear other people's interpretations of Vor's character and story. Especially if I missed any important details that you think are essential to understanding her.

Thanks for reading!

[texturralize]

Writer of my broken soul. What has happened to the svss fics? Are you okay? Who do I need to fight for you cause I rely on those fics more than an online shopper relies on their credit card.

it’s just..kind of a unfortunate timing kinda thing..something just really discouraged me and hit on some social trauma I have and I’ve been in a funk and need to take a break from my sv fanfic. the other night I sat down to write and someone messaged me on twt to join a sj fan server.

I got super excited bc I still hadn’t ever found a sj focused server and he is (obviously) my fave. when I got in, someone mentioned being fan of my fics. so I searched them just bc I was kinda curious. well..there were a few nitpicks things here and there which is fine. but ig one of my fics, because I forgot a tag, showed up in some people’s feed even when they set their filters, and it bothered them. there were some really hurtful things said..stuff like oh you can’t trust this author, can’t believe they did this, it was disingenuous, they wanted to toss themself down the stairs from sheer disgust, it was creepy, people wanted to block me, they felt mad anytime they saw my name…it was bordering on fic/author bashing and I was shocked the conversation just continued like normal and was allowed…so I got uncomfortable and left the server.

I don’t really blame the server itself or the people who talked about me, multiple people have sent me DMs saying they felt bad and like my work and that was really sweet. one of the people who said stuff also apologized for it so it’s not like I hold a grudge. it’s just, stuff like this is kind of hard to deal with for me. it’s not that I’ve never encountered hate comments or anything on the internet, I think I was just blindsided by the situation..no one expects to encounter stuff like that in what should be a safe space for fun and ideas you were invited to. I let myself get excited and wasn’t expecting it so it really affected me.

it’s just unfortunate that it happened in that way because though I’m sure no one specifically meant to hurt me, like I said, this kind of triggered some social trauma for me. as someone who grew up with undiagnosed autism, I’ve often felt hurt and silly when I entered spaces and didn’t realize people didn’t like me until too late. I spent a long time unable to explain why I felt certain ways when these things happened bc I didn’t even understand the way my own brain worked. I also have a very direct way of communicating and don’t say things unless I mean them, so the idea of venting and being aggressive abt something but not ‘really meaning it’ is hard for me; it’s hard to understand that someone could say such cruel stuff but not take it seriously. so my brain catastrophizes and won’t let me forget what happened and there’s dysphoria when I perceive rejection, dislike, aggression, etc. BECAUSE I take those things so seriously. and I also would never bash someone or their fic bc I know fic is made from love and is 100% free so it’s hard for me to get past it y’know?

just to reiterate..I’m not mad at anyone, I don’t think anyone is a bad person. they said they made a mistake speaking like that about someone and will keep in mind what I said when we talked. I’m sure there are plenty of people in that server who like my stuff and don’t want to see me discouraged…

god, it’s just really hard, you know? it’s been a while since something really managed to hurt my feelings. I guess I just felt stupid, and kind of humiliated. it’s that feeling of walking into a room only to realize you’re the punchline…

so..yeah it just kind of has me in a funk, as someone who’s struggled to make friends and connections in fandom too despite how ‘easy’ it’s supposed to be. I’m still kind of disappointed that something I got excited over exploded so much in my face and didn’t work out. but overall I mostly just tripped into a depression spell and it’s making me feel bad to look at my work so..I decided to take a break from it. to people who like my stuff…I’m really sorry. I don’t mean to take anything away from people who really liked it. I just want to feel better.

the last time I felt this bad was a few years ago, when someone did something really horrible to me and it upset me so much and took the joy out of the fandom I was creating content for, because it was something we did together. I’m not really upset over the specifics of what was said, just the experience and how similar it was to things I’ve went through in the past. I’m upset over the fact I don’t feel like it’s fun to write right now, and I don’t want to lose this special interest like I did my last one…so yeah, just kind of sucks overall.

I hope no one feels bad about what happened for a long time. just..unfortunately, I probably will, and maybe taking a break will help..idk

sorry :(

[yutaholic]

i feel like you’re the only person who might not take offense to this but I feel like jaehyun would be just a liiiiittle too self centered to be a good partner to anyone. He’s 26, insanely famous, and a global campaign model for one of the most famous fashion houses of all time. I catch strong vibes from him that he knows just how cool and hot he his and ppl like that usually don’t have the humility they need to be good partners. Idk. Thoughts?

I'm not offended lol none of these boys pay my bills I ain't dick riding for any of them. Idk why people would get pissed off over harmless discourse but... actually yeah some get pretty amped up defending their idol's honor so to speak 😅

I think it's important to remember everyone has a dark side but idols are not allowed to ever show or express theirs. They gotta be the perfect boyfriends caricature to fit into the SK culture over there of being products and not actually people. They're not allowed to make mistakes. They get criticized for not shaving for fuck's sake

That being said no one is perfect. We all have negative aspects to our personalities. At the end of the day, we only see a glimpse of the carefully cultivated personas their company wants them to have. That's why with hypothetical questions like this I always say "gives me vibes like" instead of saying something definitive. It's fun to speculate but beyond that we just don't know.

Do I think he's a raging narcissist? No. That would be pretty hard to hide on camera 24/7. Do I think having pussy being thrown at him from every angle might make him a bit smug? Absolutely lol I honestly haven't gotten super self-centered vibes from him.

If I recall correctly some of the placements in his birth chart have Jaehyun being quite materialistic, so he may be a cold lover that is not in tune with his partner's emotional needs. He also does not take criticism well, has a hard time expressing himself and prefers to stew about it in silence which can lead to big issues in his interpersonal relationships because he's more likely to ghost you than work things out.

(I'm not saying he's like that - I'm just reiterating what I remember from his natal chart for discussion purposes)

[fandomsnfluff]

INTRO POST !

hello!! my name is noah (he/him preferred, they/them acceptable) and i’m a 23-year-old trans guy and a fanfic writer! after months of reluctance, despite stealthily making my way across other t-word related blogs on this platform using other accounts, i finally decided to officially join the t-word™ community on tumblr! i’m still in the closet with my close friends outside of this corner though honestly. (so please don’t interact if you know me/think you know me outside of this part of tumblr or talk about this with me elsewhere!! i would greatly appreciate it! <3)

i don’t really have much to say but this is just my own personal corner to explore my interest with tickling (which for some reason i’ve had a bit of a fixation with for about 10 years or so now) so if you’re interested please send me a dm or an ask just to talk or even send headcanon requests since they’re open!! if you’re 18 or older you’re also more than welcome to privately message me! i ask that you stick to sending me things via my askbox if you’re under 18, however, simply due to comfort on my end!

please remember to read my about page before interacting, and if you’re interested, please feel free to follow me, send me an ask and/or a dm! PRIMARILY NSFW BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED. THIS IS A SFW BLOG AND MAINLY EXISTS TO PORTRAY TICKLING IN SFW CONTEXTS.

please click “keep reading” below to read my guidelines and see prompt lists i am currently accepting, as well as check out my masterlist and other important links!

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please make sure to read my about page for byf/dni info before requesting! (and interacting too of course)

the fandoms i have written for are as follows: voltron, obey me, sk8 the infinity, a3!, b-project, and utapri. right now my hyperfixation is stranger things (despite posting little to no original content since falling back into this rabbit hole), and since i’m currently in the process of slowly phasing myself back into writing on this blog, please only send requests concerning this fandom! this list will also be updated as i join more fandoms and is subject to change.

when i write x reader things, i tend to refer to you as “mc” (for obey me) or “x character’s s/o/friend” (depending on the type of request) in fics/headcanons and will stick with they/them pronouns. i want all folks of all genders reading my stuff to feel like they’re there and that they’re included <3 that being said, i kindly request that you not ask me to write anything where the reader has a specified gender (ex. putting “with female s/o” at the end of your request). thank you!

i write headcanons, drabbles, scenarios, and “fics.” (i’m putting fics in quotations because i write these in full fic format but tend to have more of a drabble-like length.) when requesting, please specify which of these three formats you want me to use!

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you can ALWAYS drop into my askbox to chat and/or share some headcanons of your own! i’d love to hear them!!

i also want to reiterate that you’re more than welcome to send me a private message, but only if you’re 18 or older. if you’re under 18, i prefer that you stick to sending me messages via my askbox. it’s just a comfort thing for me on my end c:

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last updated 1/30/2024.