#I know in canon they don't fuck because they're idiots who can't talk about their feelings

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Imagine you’re Geraldo. You are vibing being one of the malewives ever. And then one day one of the most cringefail men you have ever seen walks into your wife’s establishment, introduces himself Like That, tells Blackbeard’s first mate to tell his boss to go suck eggs in hell, breaks your wife’s nose jar, and then doesn’t seem to take the hint when your wife kicks him out and tries to do some sort of dramatic exit. You trick him into getting stabbed by the Spanish Navy and you figure he’s as good as dead, because if he survives the navy somehow, then Blackbeard’s gonna kill him and you think nothing more of it.

Then two weeks later Izzy hands walks into your wife’s bar and tells you that that cringefail guy in the white suit has not only survived, but he seduced and fucked Blackbeard.

[beanghostprincess]

I really loved your hc about Sanji meeting Yassop and Usopp meeting Zeff and I start to think about like-

What about this with Zosan, Lusan and Lawsan?? This will be SO funny and perfect-

Just hear me: (and yes, this will be with our queen Trans!Fem Sanji)

Mihawk and Zoro going to a dinner with Sanji and Zeff because both want to know their child partner

Shanks going to Baratie 'cause Luffy insisted, and Sanji going too just to say a 'hello!' to her father and properly give the notice she's dating her captain (Luffy forgot to tell this to Shanks and he just discover he was knowing the father of his son's girlfriend when they already are in Baratie)

Law going because Sanji wanted him to know Zeff, and even hating to interact too much, he acepts because he knows how much this mean to her

And like, how you think they will react about the thing of Zeff eating his own FUCKING leg??

Okay, this is really funny- The chaos. Just imagine the chaos. Gonna try to put my thoughts into words (<- Literally a fucking writer. I'm just tired today don't blame me).

Please assume the OP world here is exactly the same but Mihawk and Shanks actually raised Zoro and Luffy. Somehow. Don't ask me how. They see them as their fathers. Zeff and Sanji's story is still the same because they're canonically family lmao. And also Transfem!Sanji as you said btw bc I love my princess.

─┉┈◈Zosan◈┈┉

The thing about Mihawk and Zoro going to a dinner with them is that Zoro and Sanji would try to behave but they would end up arguing in front of them anyway because that's just how they are and Mihawk and Zeff would end up talking alone about them tbh. Zeff offers Mihawk one of his best wines and Mihawk is- Well, you already know how Mihawk is. Their conversation is pretty polite but they keep drinking while the other two are in the background fighting for some meaningless bullshit like: "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET HERE FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO, STUPID MOSSHEAD" / "OKAY SO IT'S MY FAULT THAT THE SEA IS VERY ROUGH TODAY AND THE SHIP ALMOST SINKS" / "LIAR!! I'M SURE YOU JUST GOT LOST".

And it's uhhh chaotic. But there's passion and Sanji is mad because she cares about him meeting Zeff and Zoro is frustrated but actually trying to calm down. Zeff and Mihawk are very fond of tough love and passionate couples so these two fighting just means they have strong feelings for each other. However, they end up making up and sitting down with their fathers while they tell anecdotes and try to get to know each other better. Mihawk and Zeff are intimidating af and I'm like 100% sure that Zoro would be scared of Zeff at some point bc he would look at him with that look of "If you hurt my daughter I'm killing you" and Zoro is, for once in his life, scared of a cook. Then that silly topic of "Oh, yes, I ate my own leg to save this little shit of a daughter from starving to death" comes up.

Zoro almost chokes on his food and Mihawk stares at Zeff for a while, looks down at his leg, squints his eyes at him and says: It certainly is a really admirable doing. And just out of mere curiosity, was it good-

Zeff: A little bit of seasoning and less pain would've helped

Sanji: DAD, WHAT THE FUCK

Zoro: Curly, you didn't tell me your dad was cool

Sanji: OH, YES, EXCUSE ME MOSSHEAD FOR NOT TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT MY DAD EATING HIS OWN FUCKING LEG

Mihawk: I say admirable doing because you just met her, right? I would not have done something like this for this bastard right here

Zoro: Thanks, dad

Mihawk: You're welcome I let you and Princess stay with me, don't push it

Sanji: Who's Princess?

Zoro: My sister

Sanji: YOU HAVE A SISTER?

Mihawk: Zoro, you didn't tell your girlfriend about Perona?

Zoro: I forgot

Sanji: I'm going to murder you

And basically, long story short, the night ends pretty well to Sanji's surprise. Mihawk is very nice and polite to her even if he looks pretty dark and edgy, and Sanji can't believe that man raised an idiot like her boyfriend. Then we have Zeff, who shakes Zoro's hand so hard it hurts and whispers in his ear all the atrocities he would do to him if he hurt his precious princess. Things that won't happen, of course. That's why that 'would' is there. But still, he tells him anyway. Just in case.

─┉┈◈Lusan◈┈┉

When Luffy tells Shanks to go to the Baratie together, he doesn't hesitate to say yes because who would refuse to go there? What kind of pirate would he be? Sanji is already there because she decided to go a bit earlier, so Shanks instantly assumes he's just going to have lunch with his son in a very nice place and see Zeff again after a long time. When they get to the Baratie and see that Sanji is there too, Shanks assumes Sanji just stopped by too. A coincidence. He already knows that's Zeff's daughter, btw.

But then Luffy does that thing he always does, running towards someone he loves and hugging them tightly with his legs wrapped around them. And Shanks is just like "Oh, well, that's his usual behavior and he's just greeting his cook" but then they kiss and it's uh, confusing. So Shanks asks what's going on and Sanji is all like "Please, don't tell me you didn't mention this to Shanks" and Luffy just shrugs, turns around, and says "Dad, I'm dating Sanji!" then looks at his cook again smiling and Sanji sighs: "And you obviously didn't tell him this was supposed to be a thing so our dads could talk-"

Shanks: Fuck, am I meeting your dad now? Like, actually meeting him as your boyfriend's dad? That's not- Hey, Anchor, you did not mention this.

Luffy: I'm sorry! But Zeff is reaaaaally amazing!

Shanks: I am well aware that he's amazing but you need to warn me first about this stuff.

Luffy: What? It's just dad stuff-

Shanks: I AM NOT GOOD AT DAD STUFF

Then Zeff appears and Shanks tries to act like a normal father for once (he can't. He fails. It doesn't work) and they actually end up having a pretty calm and fun dinner once he relaxes, remembering that Zeff has always been cool. Luffy is extremely clingy with Sanji, a thing that Shanks already knew but never guessed it was because of them dating. And now that he sees it from a different perspective, it is clear that they're in love, even if Sanji won't stop trying to push the kid away because he's obsessed with sitting close to her and eating food from her hands and things like that. Little shit has a more stable love life than him. That's depressing.

Their laughter and joyful voices fill the whole empty restaurant and Shanks and Zeff are already a bit drunk while Sanji is dragged by Luffy to sit on his lap. And it would be embarrassing but it's not like their dads are looking at them, too caught up in their own anecdotes and stories.

Then Shanks asks how Zeff met Sanji because he knows that's not his biological daughter. He remembers Zeff telling him about his little princess years ago when Sanji was still at the Baratie and Shanks stopped by to eat with his crew. And of course, Zeff explains what happened. Their shared dream and everything. Luffy isn't really listening because he already knows the story and is too focused on his girlfriend right now. Zeff tells them about the leg thing, and Shanks starts laughing so, so fucking loud and hysterically:

Shanks: I DID THAT TOO

Zeff: You did what, too?

Shanks: Don't you notice something missing? Perhaps on the left side of my torso? There hanging? Well- Nothing hanging, actually

Zeff: You did not-

Shanks: I did not, but I lost this useless thingy saving this bastard right here

Sanji: You said you're not good at dad stuff but that's a pretty dad thing to do, huh?

Shanks: I guess so, yeah. We have more things than I thought in common, Red Leg!

Luffy: Except for cooking. Your cooking is awful.

Shanks: My cooking is amazing, Anchor, thank you very much.

Luffy: THAT'S NOT TRUE! YOU ONLY HEATED UP WHAT MAKINO MADE FOR ME

Shanks: But I did a good job!

Anyway, they surprisingly have a very nice and warm meal together without Shanks or Luffy being as chaotic as Sanji thought they'd be. When they're heading out, Zeff just pats Luffy on the shoulder and tells him to take care of his princess and appreciate her food or else he'll make him clean the dishes again but this time for years, quite literally speaking. Shanks sees the couple holding hands when they get out of the restaurant, the redhead staying behind for a second to speak to Zeff. But Shanks is already at that point of drunkness where he starts having a breakdown and he's like "Why does my kid have a girlfriend and my husband left me?????? This is so unfair. They love each other so much, Red Leg, look at them!!!!!!!" and Zeff is like "They're young and stupid too, but they'll grow up. You still haven't. Please get out of my restaurant before you make my onions cry."

─┉┈◈Lawsan◈┈┉

Law doesn't want to meet Zeff, that much is clear. He is not good at meeting new people and even less meeting father figures because God knows he doesn't have a good memory of how his relationship with his dad ended (Rip Cora-san, we miss you). But he goes anyway because Sanji keeps insisting and saying that it's important to her, and of course, Law can't say no to her. Well, actually Sanji just tells him that if he comes with her to the Baratie, she'll wear the Soba-Mask suit (Stealth Black or whatever, Sanji refuses to say those words so-) again for him some time and Law accepts almost instantly. Fucking simp.

So they go to the Baratie and Law is dressed in a white shirt and actual, proper, and almost elegant clothes because Bepo said he needed to do it in order to give a good impression, and Law, deep down, just wants Sanji to be happy. And if getting along with her dad will do it, having to deal with this torture for a few hours is worth it.

Sanji keeps telling him not to worry about Zeff because, even if it's a big step in their relationship, her dad is just a bit scary but a good guy, after all. He will like Law once he knows how much he cares about her too! But Law isn't worried about that, he just fucking sucks at social interactions. Free the introvert from having to socialize, please, he just wants to stay with his girlfriend alone and cuddle and infodump about silly little things and comics. This is highly bad for his mental health (getting out and talking to people).

But, well, turns out Zeff is actually a great guy. Even though at first he looks at his daughter intensely and says: "Why the ex shichibukai of all people? This guy looks depressed too. Have you eaten, kid? You look like a starving man. He looks like a starving man, sweetheart. You're not dating an emo bastard who does not eat" and ends up having an argument with Sanji... He's fun to be around, once he settles for feeding Law everything he can cook. And Law isn't complaining but decides not to mention how much he hates bread because he feels that sentence will end up with him dead on the floor.

However, Sanji is the one mentioning that after a while of seeing Law forcing himself to eat bread, rolling her eyes and taking it from his hands to eat it herself. And Zeff is just like "You should've said so earlier, son! Just eat whatever you like. I feed people for them to enjoy the food, goddamnit!" and Law can only nod and keep eating.

And they actually end up getting along when they start talking more and more. Law starts actually laughing and smiling a little bit and Zeff pats him in the back from time to time whenever he mentions stuff he has done with his powers. Zeff just finds that hilarious. And Sanji is happy they're getting along, but extremely embarrassed when Zeff starts talking about her childhood (Law is enjoying every second of this). Then the topic of how Zeff met Sanji is brought up, and Sanji doesn't really want Law to hear it because she didn't tell him about the leg thing. And when he finds out, he's just...

Law: You didn't tell me your dad did that for you

Sanji: It's not something I like to explain, y'know? I kind of feel guilty to this day

Zeff: You're such a cry baby, Eggplant. I already told her countless times I chose to do that and it ended up saving us both! What's the problem?

Sanji: Shut up, old man, you don't get it!

Law: I do get it. The- Uh- Feeling guilty about your dad sacrificing himself. Without Cora-san... I wouldn't be here.

Zeff: Well, kid, I don't know what your father did, but be grateful instead of feeling guilty. I'm sure he's a nice man if he raised somebody who loves my girl this much.

Law: He was a good man, yes. The best. And- I- I do love her. A lot.

Sanji has a moment where she almost cries, but she doesn't!! (She does. She goes to the bathroom and cries).

When they have to go back to the ship, Zeff stops Law and says:

Zeff: You might need to eat more, that much is clear, kid. But you take care of her and that's good enough for me.

Law: Thank yo-

Zeff: But you also strike me as someone who would die for her and even though I do appreciate the effort because I would do the same, don't die on her, got it? And eat more. Eat what she makes, actually. And you also should check if you're celiac.

Law: I'm a doctor. I know I'm not-

Zeff: Then stop bitching around and eat bread like a man, for fuck's sake.

And, you know, Zeff might be a bit intimidating but he is, after all, a good man just like Cora was.

[gonnalosemydougdimmadomedamnmind]

Literally I am so sick of whore dick grayson, himbo dick grayson, fandom bicycle dick grayson, like yall really saw that dick is the canonical pretty boy with the nice ass and then proceeded to give him 'bottom' as a personality and just ran away with that. Dick is not a pretty idiot that loves having sex and only cares about his appearance, for fucks sake. He doesnt need to be rescued by jason todd of all people, who literally willingly burned all his bridges and can't even save himself, or wally west, frankly, who is one of his best friends but not the one he gets emotionally vulnerable with.

He doesn't do casual sex, at all. He needs an emotional connection first, is it so hard to believe that an attractive person actually wants to connect to someone instead of fucking them? Or fucking their problems away? Is it really so hard to believe that an attractive person can also be intelligent? Can also be kind? Can also be selfless? Can also take care of themself? Can also be a functioning adult? Can also be mature? Can also be damn fucking good at their job? Have yall ever met a real person before?

Dick is Romani and one of the most well known stereotypes about the Romani people are that they are like magically alluring people that can't keep their hands to themselves or that they're like thieving, dumb, dirty animals and what did yall reduce Dick down to? An overly emotional, stupid, pretty slut that acts without thinking.

You know just because something is racist in canon doesn't mean you have to take that and amplify it by 100 in fanon, right? Like the shit I have seen on this website alone, the takes that just won't stop, are literally so much more racist than anything you would ever find in canon. And good God, it's not like you have to make his race the forefront of his character! It's not! No one's is, that would be bad characterization. But should his being Romani affect the way you portray him? Should there be certain things you can be considerate about? Should being Romani be part of his identity? Uh, yeah.

And also. Should you maybe consider what he's actually like in canon to characterize him within fandom spaces? Uh, YEAH.

Dick Grayson is a romantic at heart, is extremely private, and cherishes the emotional connections he has with people. He is a good person because he chooses to do good things. He wants to help people! He's literally a genius, I mean this in every possible sense, academically, physically, emotionally, strategically, picking up and mastering skills with ease, being a detective... that doesn't mean he doesn't have problems. He's an extreme workaholic. He will never talk about his own problems to his friends or family, just the occasional therapist. He's so good with people, he knows exactly how to manipulate situations into his favor, to his own detriment. He will never give up on you, to his own detriment. He bottles up his emotions deeply, and yes, occasionally he does explode. He has a guilt complex the size of the sun. Everything is his fault in his head, Everything. He will accept the blame for anything, for his own rape even, because he's Dick Grayson and hey, he should've known, he should've been able to tell. (This is specifically talking about Miriam).

Everyone puts him on a pedastal because he's the guy that can actually pull off the impossible and no one but him realizes just how high that pedastal is. Bruce wants to be him, thinks there is literally no one better than him, no one who could soar higher than him, the ideal hero. His hero.

Goddamn Superman thinks he's the one person in the universe that will almost always do the right thing at the right time across every universe. And I don't mean that he will BE the right person at the right time, I mean he will DO the right thing at the right time, because Dick believes in the power of choices! Of free will! He could do bad things just as easily as the people around him, he could choose to be cruel because that is literally so. much. easier.

But he doesn't.

Almost ever.

In nearly every universe.

Do you know how much pressure that is? He drowns under the weight of his own perfection, truly. He can't fail.

He can't fail.

Isn't that so unbearably sad? You spend your whole life reassuring other people that everyone gets second chances, and that you are not your worst moment, and that you deserve compassion even at your most despicable, and that everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes things are inevitable, and sometimes all you can give is your best.

You are the only person. Who does not receive that same mercy.

He can't fail.

His family treats him as an emotional punching bag, sometimes a physical punching bag. Occasionally, so will his friends. It's hard to see the person behind the legend. And Dick's legend is truly titanic in proportions... the first child hero. No one could've done it, if he hadnt done it first. If he hadnt done it so exceedingly well. And then he had his own hero team. And then he became his own hero, again. And then he had his own city. He did it all first. The literal trailblazer, lighting the way for everyone else, not letting anyone stop him. Not waiting for anything. A force of nature.

Everyone wants to be him, be liked by him, be acknowledged by him. They all rely on him, the linchpin of a universe. Dick really is like the sun. Warm, encouraging, revitalizing. He is the light in the dark, illuminating and intense. Focused. Powerful. And they are all caught in his gravitational field.

Dick is so much more interesting than anything fandom will spare him. God, what I would give for fandom to give even a 10th of actual attention and critical thought to him or any other poc character in this franchise, that fandom gives to the white characters. I mean, we've all seen it. The narrative fabricated through lies that 95% of fandom takes as gospel because they refuse to engage with canon or simply don't care because it favors their favorite characters. In case you don't know, I am in fact talking about fanon jason todd- aka meaner Dick Grayson with Helena Bertinelli's lifestyle and fanon tim drake- aka less athletic, more victimized Dick Grayson. The white fandom darlings, extremely woobified, you know how it is. Sigh.

[lunar-years]

There is literally no other way to interpret the side by side posters on Jamie's wall, the boy is bi! Roy and Keeley spend literally the whole episode thinking about Jamie, and then the end when they're all sat together? Oh my heart! Also I would love LOVE to know what Roy whispered to Jamie, but the proud looks from both Keeley and Roy at their boy during the match will sustain me for weeks

Like I'm not even kidding in the slightest when I tell you this episode was ot3 made canon for me. I don't even care what happens with the three of them in the finale, this was it. If the finale is bad for them I'm just going to forget it ever happened and pretend this was the final episode, I don't even care!!!

side-by-side posters?????? of ROY AND KEELEY?????? The reveal was glorious. I can't believe I didn't see it coming but when that door swung back, my jaw DROPPED.

Jamie getting injured on the pitch and then the drama of him getting back up and everyone thinking oh it's all right he's okay only for him to FALL AGAIN. And through all of that we got to watch the face journeys play out on both Keeley and Roy??? that was straight out of a million ot3 angst fanfics i was writhing internally

literally just, Roy and Keeley not actually getting back together (without him)...!!! dropping their hands as soon as he came in. Keeley's expression when Roy told her he didn't want to be friends. If you read my long ramble-y Roy/Keeley meta after last week's episode you'll know I've dreamed of times like these anon

something about Roy going to Keeley to ask her to fix Jamie only for her to be like "welp shit I ended up making him worse" was so glorious and funny and perfect even as it was heart-bending. I know we love to talk about Keeley's emotional intelligence compared to her boys, but at the end of the day they are truly 3 idiots 1 braincell. Keeley just gets to hold on to it the most. I love these dorks.

it was deeply vulnerable of jamie to bring Roy and Keeley with him to his house. like we're not talking about that enough, actually. It was clear he'd never brought Keeley there when they dated. Like, they didn't even know he had a Simon. And this was him completely letting them into his world in one swoop. Letting Simon give them a tour of the Jamie shrine unbothered while he cried to his mum. ???????? JAMIE

the final scene where they bring the champagne into the therapy room is everything to me absolutely everything it is the stuff of dreams and I can't believe we got an ot3 scene like that.

I think it's more fun that we don't know what Roy whispered because in our heads we now get to make it whatever we want. Like, okay, it was obviously, "we're fucking tonight," and WE all know that, but the general audience, who is largely blind, can still go on in their own little delusional bubble like "wow isn't it nice that Roy and Jamie are such good friends ! Surely Roy must've told Jamie good game :D" It was such a completely perfect way of doing it. Ted Lasso writers I never once doubted you (i lie)

there was sooooo much more I loved but yeah these are the talking points my current state of mind is oscillating between lol.

[justanisabelakinnie]

Rare smart person on Tumblr: Yk I just think it's wrong to completely and constantly sideline/hate female characters in favor of male ones, I know that female representation in media isn't where it should be right about now, but surely you can find SOME female characters that you like??? More than you can count on both hands and feet, perhaps? Even if you have to reshape them to have actual depth in fanfiction??? I mean we do it all the time for male characters, so why not female ones? There are plenty of already good female characters that you could enjoy and ship together and write fanfics and thinkpieces about too, why don't they get any of the attention that they deserve?

The rest of the idiots on the so-called "SJW" site: HAHAHAAA! Silly rare smart person on Tumblr, don't you know that it's impossible to care about female characters in any capacity??? I mean, I'm a straight woman/gay man, I'm fundamentally incapable of giving a shit about characters that I can't envision myself fucking. Besides, everyone knows that female characters are never anything other than flat cardboard cutouts(unlike the male cardboard cutout that I've fleshed out in fanfiction and made my blorbo) or sex objects for the male gaze, and even if they're not, what if I don't want to engage in media where the female characters are written as fully-fledged people??? Huh??? What about it??? Are you gonna stop me from consuming the media that I love??? I'm not sexist, it's just that women are written so terribly in every single piece of media that I choose to watch out there so obviously the logical conclusion is to give up on female characters altogether and just focus on male ones, because everyone knows the solution to misogyny in media is to remove the women from the equation, hip hip hooray!!! And also jsyk I DO have female characters that I enjoy! Sure they're all canonically dudes who I headcanon as transfem and he/him lesbians, and sure I consider them "like a girl to me" because they're weak and scared of the dark and cry easily, but that's gotta count for something, right??? I just care about girls so much! Anyway giving a shit about girls is too much work, I'd rather just ship these men who don't talk to each other together while claiming the girlfriend is abusive or a mean lesbian bestie, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!!!

[ca-suffit]

It's so annoying when Nalyra and this book group use excuses like this as if we're all dumb. There's lots of people who talk about the books and the show without being racist about it. The deeper issue here is not because people haven't read the books and think what you're saying is shocking.... What's really happening is that this group of BFFs loves to remove all mention of race from everything. They love pretending you can just overlay the books to the AMC show and it's a perfect match. Then, when anyone mentions how important it is to factor in race when discussing these things, here comes the screaming victimhood and all the "it's what's in the book" gifs. The "I'm sorry you just can't handle gothic literature SWEETIE" attitudes that are v tiring. Any race can be racist too (isn't that this group's favorite line too, they should know....) and only care for the wellbeing of white fandom, so these brown emojis or black fans who will make callout lists on other black fans under the language of calling out "fandom issues" or "antis" aren't fooling anyone to what the real motivation is behind it. People who worship Anne Rice are always going to be airheads who can't take criticism because look at your girl and all she was ever doing. Any adult who wants to defend her or the books is not a critical thinker or an intellectual. It's v possible to discuss her and the books without the stan goggles on. The black fans this group is always sneering at do it all the time. That's probably where the real issue lies, because it's done much better than the horseshit fanon Nalyra, Virgnia, and the rest are slinging and thinking is epic meta or something. I lurked for a long time before coming here to start pointing this out. I've seen these egos get bigger since the show has been off the air and book people crawled out from the depths to try and tell everyone "what's going to happen." It's a stupid power trip and nothing else. This group doesn't have the ability to analyze anything like they think they do, so they've grown together since the show stopped airing to start harassing other fans and pretend they're the victims just because they don't think talking about race is important in their....erm...."analysis" lol. They only think they have power because the fandom became smaller when S1 ended. They're gonna be muted again when it comes back because they aren't keeping up with the themes of the show and their takes aren't interesting. Saying the white man is always innocent, the black man is lying, the brown man is manipulative is what society already does. It's boring and it's not what the show has shown us in its own canon that it's doing. This group and white fandom in general love to take an inch and run a mile with it. Whenever anyone (but especially Jacob) mentions Louis might be a liar or an unreliable narrator they're jumping on the chance to spread that statement over every part of the story. They want so much for all of it not to be true because they need Lestat to be the good guy. They always claim they love stories about monsters except their favorite white guy can't even stay a monster for them to adore him. He can't ever even be any kind of fuck up and grow from it, he's just supposed to immediately be perfect. What's the point of the story then ffs? This is why you need to read other books that aren't written by idiot, egomaniacal authors who don't have editors and are in love with their own creations. If you always find a way to excuse the white characters, say all the black and brown characters are the unreliable, scheming ones, and scream and yell "it's what's in the books" whenever anyone reminds you to notice race......then you're just racist, girl. It's not even a mystery lol so stop this crap like you're fooling anyone. You can be as loud as you want but it doesn't mean you're actually a victim of anything but your own racist stupidity. Just because Anne Rice didn't get as much pushback as she deserved in her dumb life doesn't mean you're going to get the same treatment. It's 2024, bitch.

[fullmetalgirl98]

30 days Hypnosis Mic challenge

DAY 4: favorite ship

🎤 Hifudo

Once again, I risk talking for hours, especially since this happened and really happens almost every evening after dinner in the company of @justanotherniky during our "philosophical salon".

Also because *start of promo moment* out of our conversations about Hifudo came the writing of a fic that I have the honor of reading immediately following each update (it started almost 2 years ago, but sooner or later it'll be born too), so stay tuned!! *end of promo moment*

So I can't absolutely assure you that I'll be brief.

But let's get started.

I think the Hifudo is one of, if not THE, most canon-not-canon ship I've ever seen, not only in Hypmic, but in my whole life. Because let's start by saying that those two are blatantly acting like a married couple. "Housemates" is just a less outrageous term.

The most beautiful thing about Hifudo is how the trust-based relationship between them is something that's absolutely established and unbreakable, something that stems from their childhood and continues over time, becoming more and more solid as the years go by.

If you think about it for a moment, how powerful must the sentiment that exists between the two of them be to have Doppo never thought, at the ripe old age of 29, of having a relationship with anyone, preferring to stay and share an apartment with Hifumi? Because Hifumi needs him. Because if Doppo left Hifumi behind, Hifumi would slowly break down.

They need each other, because one reaches out where the other cannot: Doppo is strong for Hifumi when Hifumi fails to be strong, while Hifumi is there to support Doppo in the simple acts of everyday life, cheering him on and encouraging him, because he's worth so much more than others would have him believe.

Doppo has always stood up to protect Hifumi, starting with the disaster with Honobono. At that juncture, we could see how strong he's been for Hifumi, more than he's ever been for himself. How pissed off he was for him, more than he's ever been for himself. Doppo would kill Honobono, if only he could. And he would do it solely for Hifumi's sake.

Hifumi, for his part, only breaks down all his barriers when he's with Doppo. With Doppo he doesn't need to be strong. He can cry, he can let go, he can take off that facade of perfection that he's forced to constantly display at work and and in public. He can literally take off his clothes, because he knows that Doppo will never judge him, because he knows that Doppo doesn't need all that to love him and to stay by his side.

And as much as theirs canonically is not (but who knows, fics exist for that too, right?) a carnal relationship, Doppo would never lay a finger on Hifumi unless he himself gave him permission to do so. And this is beautiful and indicative of unparalleled respect.

Doppo and Hifumi do not need words to understand each other. Their relationship transcends explanations but is made up of gestures and glances.

And this is absolutely fantastic.

Little honorable mention to the fact that WHY THE HELL ARE THESE TWO ALWAYS THE ONLY FOOLS (affectionate) who sing together in group songs??? Always and ONLY the two of them. An example? Death Respect. They're the only two idiots who duet the verses. Every. single. time.

Ryou SIDE ni hatenkou na abarenbou 両サイドに破天荒な暴れん坊

Ten made nobiru orera ga Matenro 天までのびる俺らが麻天狼

Jyuto and Rio are there, minding their own fucks, while those two duet.

Because yes, they don't know how to detach themselves even in these situations.

So, last thing and then I'll shut up, I promise: the two colors that canonically make me think of them are dark yellow (#f2b800) and watermelon red (#ff5050)… and when they come together to create a graduated shade (like when I edit the lyrics of the songs), the color of the sky at sunset comes out, which I think to be something that perfectly describes them (see the pics above) :)

[atopvisenyashill]

I love how HotD has Aegon just be as pathetic as a wet cat (he didn't need to be raping the maids) but the idea that he is a dragon dreamer a la Daeron the Drunk will not stop leaving my head. And his grand plan to stop the Dance, marry someone completely unsuitable and have legitimate children and plug up the succession line while Dad is still kicking it.

Not sure if wife is A) sweet peasant girl B) Dornish acknowledged bastard or C) daughter of a minor minor castle guard. Either way, the vows were said and scandal happens. Crisis not averted by hijinks.

I am one of the few people that actually thought all the more fucked up writing decisions were a good idea alsdfj (the ones everyone seems to have an issue with are Aegon being a rapist, Viserys having a child bride, and Daemon choking Rhaenyra but. Gaemon Palehair came from somewhere, the Targaryen look is uncommon in canon!, also Viserys literally has a child bride in the books, and I think establishing that Daemyra is starting this war irrevocably broken is a fun turn). I do think Aegon (and all the kids) suffered from only being in like two episodes as an adult, and while Ty Tennant is an amazing young Aegon, they don't let him do anything besides be a joke or get slapped around by his parents. They needed to stretch the timeline out so we got several episodes with Ty!Aegon, and have the penultimate slaughter be the Harrenhal fire/Laena's death, and the last episode be the Driftmark fight. We could get a final scene with the boys and the twins in their final form (lmao) to introduce them if they really wanted!!

BUT. TO YOUR AU BEFORE I START RANTING EVEN MORE. I love the idea of an Aegon-As-Dragon-Dreamer AU, that's a really fun one! Aegon being a dreamer and deciding the way out of the Dance is to make himself unsuitable as an heir by marrying scandalously and having a million kids so they can't annul his marriage is honestly exactly the sort of hare brained scheme I can see a depressed, neglected, drunken idiot coming up with, hah (respectfully to this man but he is a mess).

Now if we're talking what he can get away with...he's never gonna be able to marry a sweet peasant girl. Otto will have that girl killed so fucking fast it's not even funny - I know Jenny of Oldstones was able to marry Duncan the Small, but Egg was someone who actually saw the smallfolk as people and I am confident Otto is not that enlightened! More likely, a peasant girl would face Tysha's fate - something violent and gendered for not knowing her place. If she's lucky, she's pressed into the faith like Meg was. Possible Aegon realizes this and abandons the idea of a peasant girl for a wife but I think it's possible he tries to elope, gets caught, and the girl is punished. Regardless of how it happens, Aegon will eventually realize he needs someone who is not just unsuitable but also has a family that will protect her from his own, and maybe even has their own castle that he can hide out in (out of sight, out of mind, right?).

This means an acknowledged Dornish bastard is his best route (or any acknowledged bastard, but Dornish will piss a lot of people off so it's the safest bet). If he really wants to go for unsuitable, he's looking to the Dornish Marchers for a bastard girl to marry because of the bad blood between all the Marcher Lords in the area - Blackmont (the Vulture King was rumored to be a Blackmont bastard), Fowler, Manwoody, Yronwood, or Wyl (the Wyls are responsible for the brutal massacre at an Oakheart wedding), plus there's the Daynes who are close by and known for being menaces and the Ullers who are powerful and known for being insane (Ellaria's father is an Uller). If there's a suitable Blackmont, Wyl, Dayne, or Uller bastard girl, I would say that is his best chance. Any Dornish girl and Dornish ruling lord who agrees to this is likely to be someone with a strong will, understanding they're about to get thrown into a wild political scene. Because as you said, crucially, he's trying to get himself effectively disinherited while forcing Aemond so far down in the line of succession that there's no hope of crowning him. Whatever girl he marries has to understand she will never be Queen, his family will be hostile to her and her children, but he will protect them, with Sunfyre if need be. I think Sunfyre will factor a lot into this courtship actually; being told that you'll be protected by the most beautiful dragon who is known to have a particularly close bond with your suitor is probably convincing enough that she'd be willing to risk the danger for a chance at having legitimate children with someone incredibly high born.

There is the risk of people at Court feeling the Targaryens are getting ~too Dornish~ which is honestly really funny and may be a point Aegon can use in his favor - if his father is insisting on some sort of dornish, absolute primogeniture, why not just go for broke and marry a dornish bastard? He could use the marriage to gain an in with Rhaenyra or Jacaerys if he wants, or simply avoid them all together so as to not tip Otto and Alicent off that he's actively sabotaging his own rule.

[sassenach082]

I gotta know, what is your writing process? Is there a specific mindset you get into or can you just write anywhere? take me through the process please:)

Hey there! Okay, wow, so. I'm going to attempt to answer this without sounding like a lunatic. It's going to be long so I'll put it under the cut for those of you who want to move on.

First, my actual writing process, which is mostly planning.

The first thing I do is decide how I'm ending. I'm a work backwards kind of writer, probably because I'm a teacher and that's how we plan, the first thing we decide is what we want them to know. So in writing, I always decide, "How is this going to end?" and write that first. I've had the final scene of I'll Ride in my google docs since about 3 hours after I saw TG:M for the fourth time (I saw it 12 times in theaters, hence the lunatic comment above, but I digress).

Once I know how it's going to end, I decide, who are the characters? Where is the setting? What is the conflict going to be? Once I have a vague idea of that, I start my google doc for my outline. Since I write both POVs, I do three columns:

chapter number

POV

main scenes / summary

I'm not someone who writes out every little thing in an outline. Just to give you an idea, here's the summary for chapter 8

title: that fear that’s inside you will lift, give it time

-Ice & his fam vs. The Colonel Who Is An Ass -Sarah is a gem and already knows he’s gay and loves him anyways because, she’s A Gem™  -ice talks to Pete on the phone after dinner, listens as Mav and Bradley read the dinosaur book to him -ice goes to the o club to see the boys and is all ‘yo maverick is fucking struggling also we’re all adopting bradley’ and the boys go ‘aiight cool bro’ -slider pins him against a building and is like “so how long have you been fucking  mitchell” and ice is like ‘fuck off ronnie’ and ronnie is all ‘ice for fucks sake how stupid do you think i am i don’t give a fuck if you like dick i know you’re in love with him i’m not an idiot’ etc -He checks out books after Mav’s panic attack on how to help with trauma

So as you can see what I had in my outline isn't exactly what happened, it's basically just "which scenes do I want in this part". I don't write them in order I just kind of write the main things I want to happen, the scaffold if you will, and then I build the house. I usually go through 2-3 drafts which is why it sometimes takes me a long time to post. It's a 4 step process.

+ decide the scenes I want to see + write the main scenes + put them in chronological order in a new doc + go back and fill in details to connect the scenes together

I'm a very visual person and I have a gift of being able to read something and play it like a movie in my head while I'm reading. It's actually called "visualization" and lots of people can't do it which is my theory why they hate reading but that's whole other conversation. The point is I make the movie in my head, but I pay attention to - where are they? What are they doing? How are they moving? Where are their hands? Ice picked something up, now he has to put it down, where is he going to put it down, how, when, etc. I call it setting the scene but I don't know what it's actually called. As a reader it annoys me when I have no guide on what they're doing in a scene so I try to include those details just because it's easier for me to picture it and I hope it's the same for my readers.

Sometimes my brain decides to do other scenes and I'll add those in as I go. Sometimes my chapters get too long and I have to shove scenes down into the next chapter. It all lives in my google doc so I can keep track. When I'm working on a chapter I will just highlight what I've written so I can see what I still need to write.

Once it's written, and I think this is the most important part, I go back and reread. The whole thing. Start to the end of my new chapter. I check for: 1. am I following my own canon 2. do I have a plot hole on accident, and if I do, I have to fill it 3. do details match (like descriptions) 4. does it flow Sometimes I don't like the flow and that's why I will scrap sections and rewrite them to get more in the headspace of whoever the POV character is. This is extremely difficult for me to do with Ice, he's the harder of the two to write and his chapters take me a life age. I've straight up had Mav's chapters done for over a year. It's the Ice ones I'm working on now. Some of the later chapters will have both POVs just because Ice is so hard for me right now.

Once I have it done I send the link over to my beta. She's great and gives feedback on scenes etc. (Love you mtnofgrace!) and helps me to check that it makes sense / is in character / etc.

Then, I post! I can write pretty much anywhere, and I get into the writing mood by listening to the Top Gun soundtrack mostly. Or just rewatching one of the movies if it's been a while since I've written. Some days I write nothing and others I crank out thousands of words, it just kind of depends on if my muse is flowing. Listening to asmr Top Gun youtube videos with the music and jet noises helps me focus that's what I usually listen to while writing.

Hope that answered your question!

[theflyingfeeling]

hi hi hellooo! Aleksi's remix of Let Me Down Slowly came up on my youtube recs and it instantly reminded me of your amazing fic and I knoooooooooow I said it a million times but thank you so much for writing it and sharing it, it's so fucking good!!!!!!! 💖💘💖💕💖💖💘

now imagine, pining-idiots-that-haven't-realized-they-are-in-love Allu and Olli are probably enjoying their well deserved breaks from all the stuff they did in 2023 (and most likely with their partners by their side), but I like to imagine that they still make some time for at least one video call once a week, or that they exchange dumb texts daily because they miss each other so much 🥺💕

maybe Olli grabs his guitar one night and comes up with some beautiful riff that he sends to Allu, but this time Aleksi decides that they have to finish it together side by side (clearly an excuse to see Olli again because oooops, he realized he has Feelings™ for his friend and bandmate) and well, Olli had to travel to Helsinki anyway (to make sure the new posters were shipped correctly, or to sign a legal document or some made up bullshit), soooo why not stay at his just-a-friend-i-swear's place for a few days?

they would have the Moment Of Realization late at night, around 2AM when Allu is finally done with the remix and Olli is already asleep on the couch (is he really asleep, though? or just enjoying the moment with his eyes closed?). Allu would not resist the temptation of brushing a curl off Olli's beautiful face, and maybe caressing one of his cheeks while he can, not forseeing that Olli would be very much awake, so now they're both holding their breaths and staring at each other with so much love 💖💕💘

maybe they finally dare to get closer and share a shy little kiss after all those years of pining, or maybe they feel like they can't do it, not while they still have a significant other, and leave the studio confused and unsure of what to do next 🥰

anyways, it's already late over here and I used my last braincell to daydream about this 😅 have a lovely lovely day 💖💕💘💖💕💘

OH MY GOD???!!?!?!??!?! 😭😭😭😭😭

this made my stomach do the thing because akdjshfksjfdkf I've honestly spent the entire Christmas break thinking about the two of them constantly checking their phones and not really understanding why they feel so disappointed when there's no new text from the other or why they feel a pang of jealousy when the other posts a holiday greeting in the group chat (=a selfie with their gf with a cheesy Christmassy/NYE edit and a text "Happy Holidays from us!")

amd aaaahhhh imagine soft Olli playing softly on his soft guitar AND THINKING OF ALLU THE WHOLE TIME DJDHFGFFJFF I meaaaaan may I remind y'all that yet again this is not just something the delulu made up but instead it's something that actually for real happened with the Let Me Down remix 😭 obviously we don't know if Olli had the riff ready and Allu just happened to need one and it came up in a conversation, or if Allu asked him to make him one, or if Olli just sent the riff to Allu who was so inspired (and in love (with the riff! or at least that's what he convinced himself then)) that he made an entire remix based off it 🥺 my point here is that it's TOO EASY to imagine them doing exactly what you just derscribed 🤧💕

and yeah, I have also been imagining their first kiss and how terrifying it would be for the both of them 😭 I mean, I want to assume that the "deep talks" they've had over a glass of wine or a bottle of Mountain Dew (again, something we know for certain they done, not just something the delulu has decided is canon!!) they have also discussed sex and/or sexuality and came out as bi to each other, so it's not the fact they're both dudes and about to kiss each other that's messing with their heads rather than the fact they're both in relationships skgjdjfksjfsjfjdjf fuck why am I so invested in this 😩

bonus points indeed if they only ALMOST kiss before they snap out of it and aaaaaaaaaa poor confused boys!! because this whole time they've been like "I don't actually like him that way, and even if I did nothing could ever happen because we're friends and co-workers and he's taken" but then they realise they were having an undeniable Moment(tm) and the other was actually about to kiss them back too so they're like ???????????????? oh god 😭

thanks for this, I feel so validated once again 🙈

[beanghostprincess]

Buggy Girl Buggy Girl Buggy Girl WOMEN

Imagine for a moment that Buggy is CRUSHING HARDCORE on Mihawk and Crocodile. Imagine she is crushing on them. Imagine she is in LOVE. IMAGINE OKAY.

Alvida, like the bestest bestie to ever best, is just like "bet, let's get your manses." She kidnaps Buggy for Plotting and A Makeover. Swordguy and Sandman are oblivious to this happening (they also love her but are Not Making Moves).

Then Buggy announces a small event. Maybe it's the anniversary of the Guild starting, maybe it's a celebration for a bug bounty being brought in, maybe maybe maybe idfk, but it's A Party. The squad all orchestrates performances, food, good music, etc. Alvida plays announcer, and the main act is Buggy on silks.

Crocodile and Mihawk, attending solely for appearances sake, are suddenly Looking. She's in a leotard, tights, hair elegantly tied up, makeup different but still very much Her Brand. She looks majestic, graceful, weaving her body and limbs around the silks like she and the fabric are the same, movements fluid and confident. There is absolutely NO devil fruit involved, it's All Skill.

And then she tumbles, transitioning from silks to a dragon staff, music shifting from sweet, bouncy and yet sinful to something a bit harder, a bit faster. She twirls and moves, flames lighting her features in a way that's breathtaking even without the prior attraction. It's like the spotlight has fueled her, baptized into a new being who is in her element. The audience is left breathless.

Maybe it wraps up with the music hitting a climax, her dancing and twirling growing and growing and growing until she finishes with a fire-breathing move, much to the cheering of her audience.

Just.... talented performing women and their absolute LEGION of simps.

I don't have to imagine shit, what do you mean Buggy isn't in love with them???????? That is canon to me. What are you talking about??? And the only reason Crocodile and Mihawk aren't making moves although they like her back is because they're both socially inept idiots who don't know how to flirt. People keep saying they know. They don't. And Alvida doing her a makeover is just so real to me. I'm sure she'd actually love fem Buggy way more than canon because, y'know, women.

The whole thing about Buggy's show??? Okay. Wow. I died. But also Crocodile and Mihawk would not fucking hesitate. They might not know how to flirt but they knovw what they want and they can't hold themselves back after THAT. Just saying the three of them have a very fun night right after that show and they leave the party way earlier than expected. Alvida winks at Buggy and Buggy probably thinks she's being taken to another room to get murdered or something. Little does she know.

[sharpth1ng]

Hey do you have any transfem Billy headcanons

I know you’re transmasc but I feel like transfem representation is really low compared to transmasc representation

So do you have any headcanons you might have for transfem Billy

Yeah feels like there's more transfem rep in mainstream media but less in fanfiction, which sucks. But there's never enough trans rep in general, we need more of everything.

In terms of transfem Billy honestly I have a hard time coming up with anything because the characterization of this character is very rooted in masculinity and a relationship to masculinity. Billy is a gay man in my mind, so I'm not really sure how to conceptualize of a non-male Billy. Once I have a characterization in my head it's hard for me to step out of that.

To be honest I'm also not always sure what folks are looking for with trans head-canons. For the most part hcs for trans characters don't differ from their cis counterparts, unless we're talking about what steps they took to physically transition, and I feel kind of weird making a list of trans hcs that are just about physical transition.

ALL THAT SAID, I want to give you something, even if I can't give you quite what you asked for, SO:

Transfem Tatum hcs

Tatum was a pretty shy and reserved kid before she came out, didn't talk a lot, didn't have a lot of friends. She became a lot more social and bold post transition

She and Sid have basically been friends since they were babies because their moms went to the same maternity class while they were pregnant. She never really had to come out to Sid, Sid was just there the whole time

Her mom always wanted a daughter so Tatum got to do a lot of shopping and dressing up with her. There's a bunch of cute/cheesy 80's mall style portraits of her and her mom dressed up from when they went on shopping trips

As an adult Tatum wants to work in fashion, partially because it was such an important and early part of her gender expression

Stu was the first dude she came out to. She was understandably nervous because he's an idiot, but he really doesn't give a shit and it doesn't change much of anything for their relationship. He's just horny, he doesn't care what parts you have

When she's older, out of Woodboro, and able to go to bars and stuff she makes an effort to connect more with the queer community that she didn't have access to when she was younger. As a result she ends up sewing costumes for the drag queens at her local gay bar. She is beloved.

Tatum's the first girl Sid ever had a crush on

When they're older her and Sid become that one extremely wholesome (but also not to be fucked with) lesbian couple that adopts all the local queer kids who aren't safe staying at home

So yeah, I know that's not exactly what you asked for, but I'd rather give you something that feels in character than force hcs that my brain can't quite wrap around. And by the way I'm not saying transfem Billy shouldn't exist, if anyone has that in them please feel free to write it!

[superluigiglitchy]

8!Desti talking about Avatar!Meggy: I'm proud to identify as morosexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A girl asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing her under the moonlight

Avatar!Meggy: what kind of animal is the pink panther

8!Desti, already taking off her clothes: Meggy you're so fucking stupid

-

Acht/DJ Dedf1sh: seriously, what do ya see in that woman?

8!Desti: she makes me laugh

-

Mario: Meggy, I am nothing if not a man of principle.

Mario: Now let’s break into this apartment.

-

*Michigan and Tari are on an adventure and a plan to take back and artifact that was taken from the duo went horribly wrong and now they're running*

Tari: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?!?

Michigan: Probably because I'm a dangerous narcissist with a long history of violence.

Tari:

Tari: oh-

Michigan: I don't understand why you keep forgetting that.

-

(nintendo!mario/og!mario is the canon mario with in the franchise and who smg4!mario was before being dumbed down by the gaurdian pod, just to clear smth up)

Nintendo!Mario: Damn, the power went out.

Avatar!Meggy: Don’t worry, I got this.

Avatar!Meggy: *cracks neck despite not having bones*

Nintendo!Mario: What-?

Avatar!Meggy: *starts to glow like those luminescent squids* I drank glowstick juice :3

Nintendo!Mario: *on the verge of tears* WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT-

-

Triple Dose!Meggy: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!

-

Michigan: Do I sound smart, or am I smart?

Saiko: You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest.

-

Triple Dose!Meggy: There are some things beyond our understanding. We must accept them and learn from them. Because these moments of crisis are also potential moments of faith. A time, when we either come together or fall apart. Nature always has a way of balancing itself. The only question is, what part will we play?

Paige: *concerned* Did you just make that up?

Triple Dose!Meggy: No. I read it in a fortune cookie once.

Paige:

Triple Dose!Meggy: A really long fortune cookie.

-

Michigan: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them.

Bob: That’s brilliant.

Michigan: Thank you, Jeff.

-

Michigan: You’re alive.

Bob: No need to sound so disappointed.

-

Avatar!Meggy: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.

OG!Mario: *smug as hell* All good bro, any time.

Avatar!Meggy: Fuck you

-

8!Desti: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Avatar!Meggy: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

-

Avatar!Meggy: Bro-

8!Desti: No, no, hold up, rewind.

8!Desti: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

-

Avatar!Meggy: We have a problem.

8!Desti: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

-

Avatar!Meggy: *Laughs* Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing—

8!Desti: We’re married.

Avatar!Meggy: Still

-

8!Desti: Know why I called you in here?

Avatar!Meggy: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

8!Desti: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

-

Avatar!Meggy: Cause your pretty and your smart, and your ignoring me so your obviously my type.

8!Desti, who was distracted: I'm sorry- what were you saying?

Avatar!Meggy: Perfect.

-

Avatar!Meggy: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

8!Desti: Aren't you forgetting something?

Avatar!Meggy: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Desti's forehead before running out.*

8!Desti: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

-

Avatar!Meggy, an hkur after she and Desti got together: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Desti is? Because Desti is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

-

Avatar!Meggy: That's ridiculous, Desti doesn't have a crush on me.

Og!Mario: Yes they do.

Og!Luigi: Yes they do.

8!Desti: Yes I do.

-

8!Desti: Look, last night was a mistake.

Avatar!Meggy: A sexy mistake.

8!Desti: No, just a regular mistake.

-

8!Desti: Meggy, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Avatar!Meggy, naked in 8!Desti's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

8!Desti, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

-

Avatar!Meggy: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

8!Desti: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

-

Avatar!Meggy: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

8!Desti: You always act stupid.

8!Desti:

8!Desti: Wait...

[silver-wield]

Yeah, you heard it here first, Cloud Strife is apparently English and somebody summoning KotR in their gameplay is a "secret ultimate ending" and not just somebody using the materia in the game.

Sorry not sorry but I just gotta blow holes in this shit one insane tweet at a time.

Kingdom Hearts is not canon to ffvii. It just isn't. It's not the "canon game for a summon" and are you out of your fucking mind for thinking Kingdom Hearts is making some canonical link between a summon and Disney's Sword in the Stone?! Jfc this is already sounding crazy af 🤦‍♀️

No. There's no "secret ending" to ffvii. You chose a playthrough with a player summoning KotR. Literally every player can do that. Unless they're like you and never played the damn game, you insane carrot. I'm gonna assume you think ffxv's ending where Noctis calls up the kings of yore to defeat Ardyn, which has been confirmed as a callback to ffvii's KotR but at no point did anybody say the endings were identical or that KotR is a mandatory or secret speshul ending appearance. Cloud, at no point in KH, is ever intending to or looking for king Arthur. He is always searching for Sephiroth so they can settle their shit. He never becomes a KotR. Again, you're confusing ffxv with other games. Noctis's father becomes a King of Yore at the end of ffxv and helps defeat Ardyn. I mean, if you can't keep basic plotlines straight why are you even talking in the first place?

Show me where Cloud's an "Englishman"? Show me where England and Germany are on the map of the planet. He's no more English than he is German and you need to stop listening to that nutbar Calli and her made up garbage based on her own HC fap material. King Arthur wasn't a real person, dumdum. Plz don't talk about English history if you haven't ever learned it in school.

Strife isn't a last name. It's a bloody noun. And Strauss is the German word for ostrich.

He's the fucking player character. He doesn't know how to get the materia. You know how to get the materia.

Kh isn't canon to ffvii or the KotR. Kh1 and 2 leaned heavily on squareenix to grab a player base and build its following. Once kh became established in its own right they began to phase out the FF cameos because the characters aren't needed to keep real players interested in the plot. You aren't a real player, so shut up.

You're an idiot who can't accept an in game email talking about things characters have seen and done isn't canon compared to WoFF, another game that isn't canon to ffvii.

Again: WoFF is not canon to ffvii. Serah isn't married at the point her character appears. Zack isn't with Aerith. He's a soldier 2nd class. I know it's hard for your small brain to comprehend but SE takes characters from different points in their own lives to mix and match in cameos for fanservice. Cloud appears in multiple titles as OG soldier Cloud and post AC Cloud. Tifa appears in WoFF as cowgirl Tifa at age 15 before she's traumatized. Get a fucking clue.

Again: Zack is single at that point in his life.

Aerith is lying and sucking as much copium as y'all do. The translation is also shit in OG because she doesn't call him a ladies man in JP, she says he's a friendly guy.

Idky you think kh, WoFF and KotR are some weird ass "canon" link that proves your garbage ship or disproves Zack is a decent guy, but you need to shut up.

That's all. Don't bother trying to educate yourself, just shut up. We don't want to hear from you. At all.

Shut up.

[meggannn]

i saw another "Garrus accepts Shepard in ME2 when they come back, why can't Ashley/Kaidan" post the other day and was gonna reply, then i realized my response was less about discussion and more about info-dumping/being right, so i decided to just make my own post. so here is the long explanation of why I don't and never will hold it against Kaidan/Ash for reacting as they did on Horizon just so I can point to it for later

I'm not gonna go too far into Garrus’s POV to Shepard's resurrection, just the VS's (Virmire Survivor's). I want to add crucial context for the VS's Horizon POV that is rarely mentioned in these sorts of comparisons, which is: TIM has been spreading rumors about Shepard being alive and with Cerberus that the VS is fully aware of by the time Shepard's boots hit Horizon. if you accept the comics as canon, then TIM's actually been seeding those rumors since before Shepard even woke up on the operating table. (see this panel in which one of TIM's Citadel operatives gets caught pre-ME2 trying to steal classified info about Shepard. TIM is pointedly not too bothered about it.) when you talk to Anderson and the Council at the Citadel, they both already know you're with Cerberus. how? you certainly didn't tell them. it was TIM, and he confirms this himself as well after Horizon. (Joker also says "[Horizon] was probably a set-up" if you talk to him after the mission.)

so the VS hears these rumors pre-Horizon. Kaidan says he asked about Shepard, and Anderson stonewalled him. by the time they're posted on Horizon, Kaidan/Ash have been hearing "Shepard's with Cerberus" for weeks, possibly months. if you’re the VS, you probably don’t want to believe someone you trusted to lead you into hell, maybe even trusted enough to break fraternization regulations with, would 1) lie to you about being dead, and 2) work with a terrorist organization. but then they get there and find out not only are they fucking alive and didn't contact you (not knowing they COULDN'T contact you because THEY were also stonewalled by Anderson); not only that, they're now trying to recruit you to said terrorist organization. they’d be questioning everything they thought they knew about their old CO.

the VS meeting Shep on Horizon after Shep saves the colony is not a "holy shit, you're alive!" moment like it was for Garrus's rescue. it's a "fuck, you're alive, and you have a Cerberus crew with you just like I hoped you wouldn't" moment. a "the rumors were true, I just didn't want to believe them because that means you're either a traitor or compromised" moment.

imagine after Anderson dies at the end of ME3, he suddenly shows up in ME5 going “Hey Shepard I’m back, also come join my team in my mysterious quest, let’s talk it out together in this private room over here and you’ll see my reasoning.” do you think I’m an idiot, Leviathan? we-as-Shepard saw Anderson die ourselves—like the VS was on the SR-1 when it crashed. the player would be 100% in the right to think the real Anderson was dead and this was a mangled copy of his corpse the Leviathan or some new fucking thing was puppeting from afar.

for Garrus, who was just told "Shepard's dead" after the fact but didn't see the crash, Shepard being alive is an unexpected miracle he doesn't want to think twice about. (Garrus was drowning on Omega, but Shepard arose from the dead just to save his life; Shepard knows what to do; Shepard can save him from his fuck-ups. Garrus is finally free from the burden of being a poor leader and can fall back on following someone else; everything is right again in his world if Shepard's at the helm.)

but for the VS, some small part of them may even be hoping the rumors aren't true, that Shepard's NOT alive, because if they are, it means Shep lied to them, or isn't who they thought they were.

then, for the VS to be told on Horizon “you’re overreacting, of course working with Cerberus is the only logical conclusion here!” honestly? sounds like radicalization.

“I was dead for two years!” = of course you were, that was Cerberus brainwashing time, baby. Shepard, how do you really know what happened those two years? was it really just "reconstruction"? maybe the real Shepard IS dead. (especially after the Citadel DLC confirms Cerberus did make a Shepard clone, we know the VS actually has a point.)

“fine, but then why doesn’t Shepard just explain stuff better?” this is less into characterization (because Shep is a player character and people can headcanon their Shep's rhetorical skills differently) and imo gets more into what the narrative is telling us. I see this criticism of Bioware's writing on Horizon (and I can't believe I'm defending Bioware writing) but I personally like that the player isn’t given decent, successful counterarguments in this situation. because let’s face it, the VS’s concerns are valid, and nothing Shepard can say or do on Horizon really can placate any of them. sometimes you just get outplayed; sometimes fights or arguments are just unwinnable even when people are trying their best.

would a persuasion check have helped? maybe, but that's not the point. it goes against our RPG brain where we're often wired to think every path is open to us with the right attitude or enough red/blue points. the Horizon reunion is two hurt people who are upset at each other, not realizing/acknowledging they've been put in an inconsolable scenario. they're both victims of stonewalling, one by Anderson and another by TIM. the Horizon convo was never going to be a “victory: squadmate acquired” scene because the deck was stacked against Shepard + the VS before they both even set foot on the colony. Shepard never got a chance to control their return narrative: Cerberus controls their team, their ship, who knows what, who they recruit, and when. TIM also knew that the VS was stationed on Horizon, as he confirms in the post-mission talk. the VS reunion was always going to be a car crash. and that works out great for TIM—Shepard is cut off from former Alliance allies, painting Cerberus as their only path forward to beating the Collectors.

but even if, for RPG purposes, Shepard had been able to reach out to the VS first… it’s still completely valid of them to question the situation lol. Liara had a hand in it so she ofc she wasn’t surprised at the return; Wrex adopts a typical krogan attitude of “you’re not dead? well that’s weird, but I’m a thousand years old, I’ve seen weirder.” there’s a reason Garrus accepts Shepard returning so readily and Tali/Ash/Kaidan take time: they’ve got healthier coping mechanisms and better support systems. Garrus cut himself off from his friends and family and is living out a Spectre fantasy on Omega. they others have moved on; Garrus hasn’t. he’s desperate for Shepard to come back, and why wouldn’t he be? Shepard was there when he felt like a hero for the first time in his life. if Shepard's back, he can be a hero again. but for the VS, Shepard returning means something is awfully, awfully wrong.

[animentality]

See, you cringe at the idea of the onceler fandom now. But what was that fandom??

Passionate teenage girls and young women, filled with inspiration and obsession. Zealous, hungry artists and writers who were making content for themselves and only themselves, not for money or for attention or fame or to make professional connections, but just for the joy of it. Back in the wild days of Tumblr, in the infancy of memes and content sharing and the transition from forums.

Those people loved something that wasn't meant to be loved that way.

But that's how love is.

You don't choose what or who you love. You don't choose how.

I defend those fandoms we all see as cringy now.

Because superwholock and onceler might embarrass you in 2022, but they're still better than the way fandom works now.

Look at what Disney does.

Look how they carefully construct and promote fandom, whether that's for their animated movies or Marvel or Star Wars.

Look how "fans" make reaction videos of every damn Disney product, gushing about how great it is or even how bad it is, just for clicks. Just for engagement. Look how Disney uses anti sjw rhetoric to promote themselves as woke and progressive, manufacturing outrage and "shutting down" man babies just for the exposure. It's so performative, how every time someone criticizes one of their shows or movies, they "fire back" by saying oh look these straight white guys can't handle a female protagonist!

It was the wrong fucking thing to do because by giving those fringe idiots exposure, they just created more and more. Now we have a fucking movement surrounding it, when I'd bet most of those annoying guys would've just kept grumbling to themselves if they hadn't been addressed at all. But Disney needed to look like a hero!

Look how cosplayers are paid by companies now to help promote their content and singers cover theme songs for YouTube views and artists draw fanart to sell stickers and pins and Youtubers create fake discourse and either rag or gush about some product just to try and game an algorithm.

There's nothing wrong with people using their fandom talents professionally, I'm not knocking that.

But the way media companies interact with fans feels so fucking sleazy. There's this desperation to it.

It's changed fandom.

Like people don't just like stuff anymore. They have to be slavishly devoted because they're told to be, not because they actually are.

You have to be dedicated to watching every marvel show. You can be paid to be dedicated to watch every marvel movie.

You can be paid to make iron man suits.

Sell pins. Make figurines and sculptures and post them on Etsy and redbubble.

You have to make a YouTube video, so you can make enough money to quit the job you hate. You have to make TikToks about fandom stuff so you'll get followers. You have to be funny on Twitter so you can be verified and fandom famous and have followers.

You have to hitch yourself to this company, or else you'll never be anyone or anything on your own.

It's not about actually being a part of a community. It's not about connecting genuinely with new friends and talking about characters or plots you liked.

It's not even about ship wars anymore. People viciously arguing over who should be with who, because they really, truly, delusionally love certain characters to death and were filled with rage at the idea of other fans misinterpreting them.

Now they just...consume product. Love the canon ship.

Because it's the only thing they can see anymore, when fandom no longer encourages alternative thinking about itself.

New fandom just feels like you're working for a fucking company and seeing everyone around you like a work buddy.

No one wants to step on toes cuz maybe that guy will be famous. Maybe that girl will be a Disney cosplayer. Maybe that guy will be sponsored by Disney itself.

Maybe that TikTok star will be the next hulk, you don't know.

Be nice because you're here to make professional friends.

It's...so hollow.

It feels so different.

Maybe it's just me.