#I love this silly evil bastard

[n4rval]

your gaster looks very friendly. i would pat him on the head but im too short

i know what you want anon dnw i got u

[yourlocalabomination]

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust.

[catboyemizel]

i haven't stopped thinking about this. on the scale of bizly pcs from thanatos to shilo both chip and rand fall more on the shilo side of the scale. rand is closer to the middle and chip is between rand and shilo. at least to me. is this anything.

[zarophod]

me when i am literally arnold rimmer

[mercuriart]

decided to post this here already bc why not

[basement-hobo]

Ok so in my brain I’ve started qualifying the “tumblr sexymen” who are actually just Semi-Concentionally Attractive deep voice suit guys who meet no requirements whatsoever but has the entire internet drooling as “tiktok sexymen” but i don’t think the world is ready for that one.

[moonlightspencie]

tenderly, tragically

Description: Silly, lifelong best-friendship leads to a lot of meaningless teasing. Though, sometimes teasing comes from a place of truth. It’s just that sometimes, those getting teased are the last to know why.

Pairing: Best friend!James Potter x Reader

Warnings: fluff, some angst, smut 18+ (p in v, praise kink, whiny james, size kink, first time for both), drinking, its really idiots to lovers

Word Count: 7.8k (just fluff): 9.4k (smut)

A/N: smut is at the end, and there’s a warning before it starts since it’s kind of like an alternate ending/extra bit. if you JUST want fluff, it ends at a good point for that before the smut starts :) ALSO: as with all of my marauders fics, characters are aged up (19-20)

fic playlist

“Jamie,” I squeal a laugh, chasing after him.

He laughs, continuing to out-run me. The bastard.

“Not my fault you’re slow,” he calls back. “Catch up, love, or you’ll get caught.”

I run harder, jumping on his back when I get close enough. We both knew he’d slowed down to let me get closer, but neither of us bothered to mention it. He laughed, holding onto my legs as they wrapped around his waist, slowing until he was walking.

“You’re going to get us caught, you know that?”

I snort a laugh. “Please. There wasn’t even anybody there.”

He rolls his eyes playfully, finally dropping me from his back, and instead slinging an arm around my shoulders.

“They could have, though.”

“But they didn’t,” I say pointedly. “Besides, Remus, Peter, and Sirius are still actually in the Slytherin dorms. Lousy look-outs we are because of you.”

He chuckles, walking us towards the stairs.

“They’ll be fine,” he shrugs with a cocky smirk. “Besides, I doubt even most of the Slytherins would object to a little prank on Snivellus.”

I hum, nodding a little. “I guess. Still. You’re a bad friend.”

“You ran too,” he accused, his brow furrowing. “Don’t go and pin all this on me.”

“You told me to run!”

“You didn’t have to listen!”

I scoff, shaking my head. He gives me an irritated look, but pulls me a little closer under his arm. We get into the common room, and without even asking, he starts ushering me to their dorm room.

“Why?” I ask, knowing he knows what I’m asking.

“Sue me for wanting to spend some time with my life-long friend,” he says, quirking a brow.

I push him away from me, but he doesn’t really let me get far. He opens his door, pushing me in first. I immediately flop onto his bed face-first.

“Not complaining now, are you?” he asks, laying next to me.

“Not my fault your bed is so comfy,” I say, my voice muffled by the mattress.

I feel the mattress dip, and look up to see him also turned on his stomach, right next to me.

“If you really wanted to get me alone this bad you could’ve asked,” I say with a wink.

He rolls his eyes, but a smile gives him away.

“Please. I know you’re secretly hoping for it, but we both know that’s never going to happen.”

“Me?” I laugh. “As if. What would I do with a quidditch player?”

He scoffs, an offended look on his face.

“I’ll have you know that I am very desirable, and half of that has to do with the fact I’m the seeker, thank you.”

I roll my eyes. “Uh huh. And what’s the other half?”

“You seen this face?” he asks, a cocky smirk on his lips.

“Unfortunately I have.”

“You’re mean,” he says, a laugh breaking up his attempt to be offended.

He pushes me a bit, but I hardly budge. I laugh at his attempt, but apparently that was the wrong thing to do. He perks up, trying harder to fully push me off the bed, now.

“Hey!” I say in protest, fighting back against him.

He laughs, both of us practically fighting as he keeps trying to push me off. I see an opportunity a moment later and take it: I grab onto one of his arms with both of mine.

“Ha!” I say loudly. “Can’t push me off now unless you also fall off.”

He pauses, then an evil smirk comes onto his face. My face drops as I realize what he’s about to do. He scoots over, dropping both of us onto the ground. I squeal as we fall, and I end up taking the brunt of the fall as he lands on top of me.

“You should never threaten me with a good time. You know I can’t resist,” he says, not bothering to alleviate the pressure of his body pinning me down.

I groan. “You suck. I didn’t think you’d actually push both of us off just to get me.”

“Then you don’t know me very well,” he replies with a quirked brow.

“Please. I know you better than anyone and you know it.”

He opens his mouth to snark back at me, but the door opens before he gets a chance.

“You two are the worst,” Sirius says, clearly out of breath. Then, he scoffs as more footsteps follow behind him. “And look at this! They ran off on us to… Canoodle on the floor.”

I furrow my brow, pulling a face as I try to see him around James.

“Canoodle?” I repeat in disgust.

James finally starts getting off of me, kneeling on the ground next to me as I start pulling myself up. Remus and Peter give us a look.

“We’re not… canoodling, and you can blame Prongs for us ditching. He’s the one who took off running and told me I had to, too.”

Remus quirks a brow at that as Sirius goes to sit on his bed.

“You didn’t have to listen to him,” Peter pipes up.

“That’s what I told her,” James says, giving me a self-satisfied look.

I make a sour face at him, pushing his arm a little. He pushes me back, and I straighten up. Though, Remus must notice that look on me.

“Don’t you two start up again,” he says, pointedly looking between us. “If I have to watch you two flirt any more I might throw up.”

“We’re not flirting,” James grumbles. “She’s just fun to mess with.”

“Mm. And you’re just easy to win a fight against,” I add.

He looks at me quickly. “You didn’t win the last one.”

“Because you pushed us both off the bed!” I exclaim.

“Oh, shut it, you two,” Sirius says, his arm draped over his face. “We’ve been back for three days and you’re already acting up.”

I snort a laugh at Sirius’s annoyance, climbing back onto James’s bed. I sigh with my face in the pillows, feeling him climb over me to get to the other side a second later.

“You got us in trouble,” he whispers.

“Your fault, not mine,” I reply.

“You’re the one who insulted my perfect face.”

“You’re the one who pushed me first,” I argue back.

“Oi!” Sirius calls out again, leaving us both laughing.

Our first few weeks of school go off without a hitch. The boys continue pulling their little pranks, occasionally dragging me along with them. I settle into my space this year, glad to still have Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas as my roommates. We always tended to get along quite well.

I start reading a new book one night, absolutely enraptured with the story, probably even more so considering it’s helping me to avoid the homework that I really should be doing. I get though the first couple chapters before I notice Lily staring at me.

“What is it, Lils?”

“Can I tell you something?” Lily asks suddenly.

She looks around the room, seemingly to make sure the other girls are really gone for whatever she’s about to say.

I look at her over my book. “Sure.”

“Promise not to tell anyone?”

I nod. “Promise.”

She sighs, sitting up a little straighter. “I think I have a thing for someone… Well, for James.”

My eyes widen. “Really? You wanted nothing to do with him a little while ago.”

“I know. I just… I don’t know. Maybe I’m just bored or something, but I’ve been thinking about telling him.”

I nod. “Yeah. You should.”

“Really?” she asks, surprised.

“Why not?”

She smiles to herself. “Yeah. Why not? Do you think he’ll say it back.”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe? He did have a crush on you before.”

She hums to herself. I laugh a little, shaking my head.

“I think I’ll do it tomorrow. Better to do it sooner than later, yeah?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I shrug noncommittally. I really just wanted to get back to my book.

“You don’t even care,” she groans after a moment.

“This is a really good book, Lils,” I laugh.

“Fine. I’ll stop bothering you.”

“Thanks,” I smirk to myself.

She scoffs again, though I know she isn’t really offended. I wish her good luck as we head off to our classes that day, knowing she was planning on telling James sometime in the morning.

I end up finding him later, though I try not to press for answers the second I find him. We sit on the grass in the late afternoon, watching some first years play a little quidditch match for fun. It’s uncharacteristically warm outside, and the sun shines down on us. After half an hour of watching the kids play, I glance at James.

“I wanna show you something,” I say suddenly, standing.

James looks up at me in confusion. “I’d prefer not to move.”

I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest.

“It’s a nice day. Sunny and no clouds. Please, just follow me?” I ask, almost whining. “Promise you’ll like it.”

He leans back on his hands. “How do you know?”

“Because I found a secret place in the woods, and you’ll be the first person besides me to see it,” I offer.

He quirks a brow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Now get up.”

He grumbles to himself as he gets up, following me as we walk towards the woods. I start leading him through the trees towards the destination I had in mind.

“What were you even doing in here? It’s dangerous,” he says quietly.

“I was fine. Just had a long day and wanted to explore. It was in the daytime anyway,” I say matter-of-factly.

He hums to himself, clearly dissatisfied that I went out here by myself. But as I finally lead him to our destination, his annoyance wears off.

“Whoa,” he says, his eyes a little wide.

I smile. “See? Told you it would be worth your while.”

He looks on at the small clearing. There’s a little pond with clear water, the space in the trees allowing some sunlight to reflect on the water. It looks peaceful at least, and nearly-heavenly at best. I look at him expectantly.

“How’d you find this?” he asks, squatting by the water. He dips his hand it. “Whoa. It’s warm.”

I nod, still standing. “I found it when I was exploring, like I said. A few weeks ago. I charmed the water to stay warm, so I’ve been out here two or three times to swim. Thought I’d show you before it gets too cold.”

He smiles, standing up. “You want to go swimming? You didn’t bring any—”

His eyes widen as he finally looks at me. At this point, I’ve already started taking off my robes and my shirt.

“What?” I ask, brows furrowed. “You act like you’ve never been around me getting dressed. We’ve been friends since we were like six years old. Now, hurry up. Faster you get undressed, the faster we get to swim.”

He rolls his eyes at me, begrudgingly taking off his clothes, even though part of him still looks excited that I’d found such a nice little place.

I start wading in once I’m down to my underwear, the water feeling nice and warm in contrast to the slightly-cool air. I hear him come in after me in a moment, and turn to watch him.

“Nice, isn’t it?”

“Can’t believe you were hiding this from me,” he says, hiding a smirk.

“Oh, please,” I reply, floating on my back in the water. “You’re lucky I showed you at all. Nobody else knows about this. You should feel honored.”

I hear him hum and splash around a little, though my eyes are closed. I bask in the warmth of the sunlight on my face.

“Did Lils talk to you today?” I ask after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah.”

I upright myself, looking at him as he aimlessly walks around in the water.

“And?”

He glances at me, giving a shrug. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” I press, furrowing my brow. “What’s that supposed to mean? What did you guys talk about?”

“I have a feeling you already know,” he snorts a laugh.

I roll my eyes, wading closer to him. “So she told you?”

“Yep.”

“Well, what happened? What did you say?”

He sighs dramatically. “Does it matter?”

I splash him a little. “I’m gonna hear about it no matter what. She’s my roommate. Just wanted to know from you before I see Lily later.”

“Told her I wasn’t interested,” he says quietly, splashing me back a little.

I pause. “Why? You always had a massive crush on her.”

“Not in like a year,” he says.

“So you just rejected her?”

“I didn’t reject her,” he furrows his brows, looking away from me. “She told me she liked me, and I just told her I wasn’t into her like that. She didn’t ask me a question, so it wasn’t a rejection. Just being honest.”

I groan. “Jamie, she’s going to kill me. I’m the one who encouraged her to tell you.”

His eyes widened. “Why the hell would you do that?”

“I thought you liked her!”

He pauses for a moment, then splashes me again, this time fully soaking me. I scoff a laugh, in shock as the water hits me. I glare at him, then splash him back just as hard. He starts going on the attack, practically throwing the water at me repeatedly.

“You absolute tosser,” I say, continuing to splash back, though I can’t help but laugh.

I start backing up as we both continue, now laughing and barely able to see with how rapid-fire we’re going. Eventually, I turn and start running for the shore as much as I can while being chest-deep in water. I squeal as I hear him closing in on me.

“No, no, no,” I laugh, getting closer and closer to safety.

“Should’ve thought about trying to run a little harder, love,” James says back, still giggling to himself.

He catches up to me when the water is finally below my hips, and grabs around the waist, pulling both of us backwards. The water goes over our heads for a moment, and I gasp out a laugh as we emerge again. He sits us up in the pond.

I turn in his arms, smacking him lightly on the chest. “You’re awful!”

“You love me,” he smiles brightly, still sitting on the ground in the shallow water. He pulls me in a little closer. “You’re just mad that I won.”

“Still can’t believe you said you didn’t like her,” I say, brushing some of his wet curls away from his eyes.

“Not gonna lie to the girl,” he shrugs, swatting away my hand.

“Still. I thought for sure you’d be excited.”

“Hm. I don’t know. Maybe a couple years ago, but not anymore.”

“At this point I’m convinced you’re driving girls away on purpose. When was the last time you dated someone?” I laugh.

He looks at me, mockingly offended. “Excuse me?”

“What?” I exclaim, still laughing. “Last girl I remember seeing you with was some Ravenclaw a few quidditch wins ago, and even then, you were just sucking face because you were drunk.”

He finally pushes me away from him, trying to hide a smile. I chuckle, gaining my bearings, and finally landing comfortably on my knees in the water a foot away from him.

“You wouldn’t be so offended if I were wrong,” I tease.

“Yeah? And when’s the last time you dated somebody?”

I scoff. “You scare off every boy who tries to ask me out.”

“Cause they’re all ridiculous,” he states, making a face. “Are you seriously telling me you wanted to go out with that Johnny kid from Hufflepuff?”

I smirk. “Touché. But still, it’s not my fault I’m not dating anyone. You, on the other hand…”

“What’s that supposed to me?” he quirks a brow.

“You’ve got all kinds of girls chasing after you. What’s your excuse?”

He pauses for a moment, then smirks. “Who else would waste all their time with you if I were too busy with some girl? You’d be all alone. I’m doing you a service by staying single.”

“Please. You and that ego, I swear,” I shake my head. “I have plenty of friends outside of you.”

“I’m the best one, though,” he says, a brow raised with a cocky smile.

I make a face, then splash him once more for good measure.

“That’s it,” he mumbles, tackling me.

I yell a little with a laugh as his arm wraps around my back and drops me onto the bank where the water was scarce. I keep my head propped up as much as I can, though the rest of me is still covered in a little bit of water. It doesn’t help that James is pressing me into the ground.

“Admit it. I am the single greatest person you’ve ever met.”

I laugh again. “In your dreams.”

“Not letting you up until you admit it.”

“Guess we’re stuck here forever, then,” I argue back.

“Guess so,” he says plainly, dropping his full weight on me. I groan, my breath getting squeezed from me. “Best to make myself comfortable, then.”

“You’re so heavy,” I whine.

He chuckles, just quietly observing me for a moment. I tilt my head in question as he doesn’t snark back. He swallows, a small smile still on his face, but a little bit of color now in his cheeks. My eyes widen a little bit.

“Jamie—”

He doesn’t give me a chance to get anything else out, his lips pressing to mine softly. I freeze, in shock at the sudden change of circumstance. My best friend is kissing me. He pulls away when he realizes I wasn’t kissing him back, his cheeks taking on a deeper shade.

“I’m sorry, I don’t…” he shakes his head, looking at me with his lips still parted. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”

He gets off of me quickly, getting out of the pond and back to where we left our clothes. He casts a drying spell on himself and starts getting dressed. Meanwhile, I’m still in the water, feeling like I’m stuck. I swallow with a dry throat, turning to see him starting to pull on his pants. I finally get up, quickly moving towards him.

“Jamie—“

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that,” he shakes his head, not looking at me.

I let out a frustrated groan. “We have to talk about that, James.”

“Not right now. Just,” he sighs, looking at me quickly. He takes out his wand again, casting that same drying spell on me. “Get dressed. We don’t want to miss dinner.”

I stare at him for a moment as he continues putting his clothes on, then finally move to get mine on. We finish getting dressed in an uncomfortable silence, that kiss playing on repeat in my mind. Why would he do that?

I look at him when I’m done to see him staring at his shoes, his hands shoved in his pockets. I walk nearer to him, though he takes half a step back when he notices. I furrow my brow.

“Don’t start that.”

“Start what?” he asks, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

“Pulling away from me,” I say, grabbing his arm and tugging him closer to me. “I don’t know what just happened, but I’m not going to lose you as a friend all because you—”

“I’m not pulling away from you,” he rolls his eyes. “I just— I don’t want to… I’m embarrassed. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

He scoffs. “Right, because there’s nothing embarrassing about trying to kiss your best friend while she looks at you like you’re crazy.”

I sigh. “I just didn’t know what was happening. You’ve never done anything like that before.”

He looks away, chewing at his lip. “Can we just forget about it? I really don’t… I didn’t mean to.”

I fall quiet for a minute, trying to gather my thoughts, but they’re all seeming to escape me. I let go of his arm, taking in a deep breath.

“You know I love you, right?” I ask.

He nods. “Yeah. I know.”

“Okay. Yeah, we can forget about it,” I nod. “You want to go get dinner, then? I heard a rumor they’ll have those apple tarts you like.”

He looks at me, smiling a little bit. “Yeah?”

I nod again, smiling back. “Would I lie?”

He chuckles a little, nodding towards the way we came into the woods. I start leading the way back out until we see the castle again. He catches up to me at that point.

“Sorry again,” he says quietly.

“About what?” I ask, raising a brow. “All I remember is us swimming around. Unless you’re apologizing for tackling me in the pond, in which case, you’re forgiven only if you get me some chocolate frogs next time we’re in Hogsmeade.”

He smiles a little. “Yeah. Promise I will.”

“Good,” I say, knocking into his shoulder a little.

He nudges me back. Of course. I go a little harder the next time I knock into him, until we’re both practically pushing one another over as we head towards the castle. He gives me a particularly hard shove, barely catching me by the arm before I actually fall to the ground. We’re out of breath from laughing when we finally get to the castle, feeling wonderfully back to normal by the time we reach the Great Hall.

We walk up to the marauders, taking our usual seat across from the three boys.

“Hey,” I greet.

“Where were you two for the past hour?” Sirius asks with a quirked brow.

I snort a laugh. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I would, considering we saw you wander off into the forest,” he says, leaning forward on his arms with a smirk.

I roll my eyes. “None of your business.”

“Always so secretive,” Remus says, stabbing a few potatoes on his fork before looking between us.

I glance at James who laughs as soon as we make eye contact. Though, I also catch another pair of eyes when I turn towards him, and wince a little. Lily looks at me with her brows furrowed from a little ways down the table. I shrug at her, unsure why she looks upset with me. She rolls her eyes, going back to her conversation with Dorcas. I sigh.

“Great. Now Lily’s mad at me because you had to go and turn her down,” I say to James.

Peter laughs. “He turned her down?”

“When did this happen?” Remus asks, looking much more curious now.

“You need to learn how to shut it,” James says to me, his voice a little high as he shakes his head.

“They would’ve found out anyways,” I say, barely feeling sorry at all.

I hold back from chuckling as James is pelted with questions from the boys, focusing more on my food and trying to ignore the occasional sour glance I get from Lily.

Though, I couldn’t escape her forever.

I walked into my room after a night of sitting around with the boys and Marlene in the common room. I thought I would be going to bed and falling asleep, but clearly it was wishful thinking. Lily stared at me from her bed as Marlene and I shut the door behind us.

I raised a brow. “Hi?”

Marlene looked between us, excusing herself to take a shower. The traitor.

“What the hell?” Lily said, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, what the hell? Why have you been giving me sour looks all day?”

She scoffed. “You told me to tell him, and you know what he did? Oh. Wait, of course you know. Because of course he already told you. Because of course—”

“Oh my god, Lily,” I roll my eyes, going to sit on my bed next to hers. “I’m sorry that I was wrong about how he’d react, but I had no clue. I thought he still had a thing for you.”

She huffs a sigh. “I should’ve known you were setting me up. What, do you like to see me embarrassed?”

“If I did, I would’ve gone along to watch it happen,” I say, annoyed at her attitude. “Sorry I was wrong, but I didn’t know. And you said you wanted to tell him, anyways.”

“You don’t seem to be that sorry considering you were back to hanging around him again all day.”

“He’s my best friend, Lily. I’m not going to ditch him because he didn’t have feelings for you,” I say, shaking my head.

She stands up suddenly. “Well, maybe you should. Maybe if you weren’t like… In love with him, you’d be a better friend to me.”

I stare at her in annoyance. “You need to get a grip. I wouldn’t have encouraged you to try telling him if I was ‘in love’ with him. We’re friends. You’re being insane.”

“Well, clearly he at least has feelings for you!”

I furrow my brow. “Excuse me?”

“Why else would he reject me?”

I laugh against my better judgement. “Are you serious? One boy doesn’t like you, so it just has to be because he’s in love with someone else? Lily, I love you, but that is the most egotistical thing you’ve ever said.”

“But you’re not denying it.”

“James isn’t in love with me. Have you considered that he just doesn’t like you anymore? It happens. People move on,” I say, sighing. “Just… Go to bed, Lily. This is a ridiculous and pointless argument.”

I lay back on my bed, closing my eyes while I wait to get into the bathroom. I hear Lily mutter something under her breath, but choose to ignore it. The more she got angry with me, the less I cared that she got her feelings hurt. I didn’t want to be unsympathetic, but it was getting hard to be concerned when I was blamed for a boy not liking her. Obviously James didn’t like me.

Obviously.

I think.

He did kiss me.

I open my eyes, staring at the ceiling for a moment. James didn’t like me, did he? He’d never shown interest in me before. That kiss probably just happened because he was confused. He wanted to forget about it, anyways, so clearly that had to mean he didn’t mean it. And I didn’t feel that way about him anyways, so it didn’t matter.

Except, I did feel my heart pound a little differently when he looked at me before the kiss.

I didn’t hate the way his lips felt.

Seeing him smile at me on the walk back did give me a few butterflies.

But, no. That’s nothing. He’s my best friend, I wouldn’t suddenly start feeling that way about him. I couldn’t. It’d be ridiculous.

It’s not like I’d spend the rest of the night thinking about him. Except that I did. A lot.

I woke up the next morning, feeling like I was going insane. I’d never felt that way about him before. Of course, I always though he was attractive. How could anybody look at him and not think he was gorgeous? But there was never anything more besides friendship. So why could I not stop thinking about him?

My eyes feel heavy as I sit in my last class of the day, James trying repeatedly to mess with me throughout the class. With five minutes left, he leans in closer. Since when did he start smelling so good?

“Hey,” he says quietly, drawing my attention. “What’s wrong? You’re not getting mad at me.”

“Just tired, Jamie,” I shrug, staring at the notes on the chalkboard that I haven’t copied down.

“That’s a lie. I can tell.”

I sigh. “Have you ever… Has anyone ever told you something about yourself that you thought wasn’t true, and then… And then you realize they might be right?”

He furrows his brows. “How do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Like, let’s say someone tells you that you like strawberries, when you’ve never liked strawberries. But then you think about every time you’ve had a strawberry, and you realize that you actually really did like strawberries. A lot more than you thought you did. Like… you realize strawberries are your favorite fruit.”

He stares with a confused look, tilting his head. He reaches up, pressing the back of his hand to my forehead.

“Are you feeling alright?”

I lean away from him, rolling my eyes. “Cut it out.”

He smiles, nudging me slightly. “Can’t say I’ve had that experience, no.”

I groan. “This sucks.”

“Why can’t you just tell me what actually happened?” he asks. He pouts. “Please?”

I smile at him, trying hard to be annoyed, but finding it difficult. *God, I’m in trouble.*

“I just can’t. It’s… private.”

“You never keep secrets from me.”

“I don’t even know what secret I’m keeping just yet,” I sigh, resting my chin in my hand. “I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“Aw,” he coos. “You say that like you aren’t already.”

I push him, laughing softly, though we both straighten up when the professor reprimands us. We give a quick apology, still smirking at each other the next time we catch one another’s eye.

The next days pass by in a blur as I come to terms with what I’ve been feeling. It doesn’t help that I couldn’t talk to anyone, especially since Lily was still mad at me. Now, though, I couldn’t blame her as much. She somehow realized I was into him before I did.

“Hey,” Remus says, coming up to me as I sit in the common room. “It’s late. Why are you still here?”

“Why are you?”

He shrugs, sitting next to me. “Can’t sleep. Moon’s coming in a couple days.”

I hum in acknowledgement. “Gotcha.”

He settles into the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. He looks sideways at me as I stare into the fire.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Cause I can’t tell anybody.”

He scoffs. “That’s ridiculous. You’ve been off for days. James keeps complaining about how you’re not spending time with him as much.”

I shake my head, not responding.

“You need to talk to someone about this.”

“Can’t.”

“Bullshit.”

I look at him. “Seriously. I can’t talk to Jamie about it, Lily’s still mad at me, and Marls and Dorcas are too gossipy.”

“You can talk to me,” he shrugs.

“You wouldn’t get it, though.”

“Try me.”

I let out a breath. “You have to promise this stays a secret.”

He nods. “Promise.”

“Okay,” I say under my breath. “Okay. So, um, Lily got really mad at me the other day because of the whole…. Confession thing. And I didn’t understand why, and she started accusing me of things, and obviously I disagreed… But then something she said kind of stuck with me.”

“She’s just mad. Don’t listen to her,” Remus says, shaking his head. “You know how she gets when she’s in one of those moods.”

“But I think she was kind of right,” I sigh. “That’s the problem. She thinks… She told me she thought I was into James. And not like friends, like really into him.”

Remus’s eyes widen a little. “And… are you?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for the past week, and… I think I might be.”

“Whoa. I know we always tease you two for how close you are, but I never thought you…”

“I know,” I groan, my face in my hands. “And I know I haven’t been hanging out with him as much as usual because of it, but I don’t know what to do. How do you tell your best friend that you suddenly realized you’re in love with him?”

He doesn’t answer, just reaches over and gives me a hug. I accept it, sighing a little.

Our next week goes over just like that. I don’t avoid James by any means, but I try not to always be alone with him. I do find more opportunities to talk with Remus about it all, though, and it helps. Just to have someone to listen to me as I complain about my feelings. I do the same for him when he has troubles, though mine seem silly in comparison. He always tells me not to compare, though.

Unfortunately, though, as much as those chats help me process my feelings, they don’t help me get over those feelings at all. If anything, they only grow the more I think about James.

It’s super annoying.

Even more annoying is Lily’s smug look when I tell her about my feelings for James. I expected her to be mad at me, but she did something worse: she laughed at me.

“I knew it!”

“How? I didn’t know!”

“Because you are so obvious,” she shakes her head.

I scoff. “I’m clearly not that obvious or else you wouldn’t have told me you had a crush on him.”

“Alright. Fair enough,” she quirks a brow. “But still.”

I roll my eyes, walking over to hug her.

“Sorry about that. If I knew I had a crush on him I wouldn’t have told you to go for him.”

“Sorry back,” she says. “Shouldn’t have gotten mad at you that he told me no.”

“I agree,” I laugh.

She whacks me in the arm, laughing back.

I try to go about my life as usual over the next couple of weeks. There’s no sense in making myself miserable or drawing attention to my small shift in behavior. I find myself still doing most of the same things I always did. Just a bit more carefully.

I sit with the boys at dinner, laughing at their stupid jokes and the plans they have for pranks. I finish my food, pushing the plate away from me, and listening in on a conversation being had between Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

“You know, those three plan on being out all night,” James says quietly, leaning close to me as he watches the three boys talk.

I raise a brow. “Yeah? Doing what?”

“They wanted to just be out of the castle for the night. Think Sirius and Remus are going to the shrieking shack, and Peter is sneaking out to go meet up with some other friends in Hogsmeade, I guess.”

“And you aren’t running off?”

He shakes his head. “Told them I’d stay behind. Thought me and you could have a sleepover. Like old times.”

I chuckle. “It has been a while.”

“I think close to a year. They’re always in my space,” he says, feigning annoyance. “But it’ll just be us tonight, if you want.”

I push down whatever feeling rises in my chest at that and agree, despite my better judgement.

He pulls me into his room that night, immediately going to the foot of his bed, looking at me like he’s about to change my life.

“I brought something a little… fun,” he smiles, opening up his trunk to show me his secret stash of drinks. “Thought we might finally crack it open.”

I laugh. “And you didn’t think to tell me sooner?”

“Hey, we’ve had plenty at the Gryffindor events,” he smiles. “This is just for us. Our secret.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m the greatest.”

We find ourselves on his floor after a few drinks, feeling fuzzy and happy. We talk about nothing for hours, occasionally passing a bottle between us.

“Maybe we should do this more often,” he says, smiling up at the ceiling. “I miss spending time with you like this.”

“We’re always together.”

“You spend a lot of time with Moony lately. Not fair, I want you all to myself,” he chuckles, poking my side.

I laugh, poking him back. “I’m still all yours. Love Moony so much, but you’re still my favorite I think. Now, if Sirius decided to start hanging around me more, then you’d be in trouble.”

He giggles, his cheeks rosy. I watch him carefully, feeling warm in the face myself, but for a different reason.

“You have a really cute laugh,” I say before I can think about it.

He looks at me with a smile, his tongue poking out between his teeth. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nod.

“You’ve never told me that before.”

I shrug. “I should’ve.”

He stares back at me for a moment, giving me a little silly smile. He leans over me, propping himself up with his forehead next to my head. He leans down, much like he did that day we went swimming. But this time I kiss him back. My hand finds his cheek, holding him gently as I let him work his lips against mine. I can’t deny the warmth that spreads over me or the butterflies I feel this time.

This time it lasts for a few minutes, neither of us bothering to pull away. Whether that’s because he actually likes it or because we’re both drunk and don’t know any better, I don’t know. I also don’t care.

He finally pulls away after a little while, still giving me that smile as if he didn’t just take all the air in my lungs away from me.

“We can pretend that one didn’t happen, either,” he says, voice barely above a whisper.

I nod, unsure what to say. I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen, but I couldn’t tell him that without outing myself. I settle for the way his hand mindlessly reaches for mine as we go back into conversation like nothing ever interrupted us in the first place. Eventually, we move to his bed, preferring the softness of the mattress and pillows over the hard ground.

“Can I ask why you’ve been spending all your time with Remus?” he asks during a lull in the conversation, playing with my fingers as he does.

“Just became better friends recently, I guess,” I say, glancing at him. I admire his face for a moment before snapping out of it. “Some stuff I can talk to him about that I haven’t been able to tell anyone else. It’s been nice to have someone to listen.”

“I could do that for you. You didn’t have to go to him.”

“Not this time, Jamie. It’s… different.”

“How?”

“It just is,” I sigh. “I’ve had too much to drink for us to be having this conversation, James.”

He whines. “Please? I just want to know.”

“No. Maybe I’ll tell you someday, but not now.”

He grumbles, turning over and resting his head on my chest. His arm rests over my stomach. I just hope and pray he doesn’t feel how hard my heart starts beating when he does.

“Play with my hair?” he asks, his voice a little muffled.

“Okay,” I reply softly, running my fingers through his messy hair. “This okay?”

He nods a little. “Mhm. Thanks.”

We don’t wake up until the next morning, still stuck in that same position.

I find myself with Remus again the following night. I sit on a chair, and he lounges on the couch, trying not to judge me for putting myself in that situation. I don’t tell him about the kiss, but he hears about everything else.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself,” he says after a beat of silence when I finish explaining. “You either need to tell him, or put some distance between you.”

“I tried that today.”

“I know,” he rolls his eyes. “It’s all James could talk about. Complaining the whole day that you weren’t eating with us or not going to the library when we were.”

“See? I feel like nothing I do is right in this situation,” I say, feeling defeated. “Like, how am I supposed to keep spending time with him like everything’s normal when I’m practically floating every time he so much as looks at me. It’s pathetic. And I can’t just ignore him, cause then he goes and bugs you all.”

“Maybe you just need to—”

“Hey,” James’s voice calls from behind us.

I look at him, noticing the annoyed look on his face. It doesn’t seem like he’s overheard us, but I can’t tell why he looks so irritated. Usually he’d be annoyed if I didn’t bother with them all day, but he looks… mad. I quirk a brow.

“Hey,” I say, confused.

He doesn’t reply, looking a little upset and a little lost. I turn back to Remus after a moment of silence, our conversation effectively being cut short. I stand up quickly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say to Remus, starting to walk past James in order to get to my room.

“What’s going on?” James asks, grabbing my upper arm.

I turn around quickly. “What?”

He clenches his jaw, then looks at Remus. “Moony, we need a minute.”

Remus goes to argue, but drops it quickly when he sees James looking more serious than he ever has. He gets up, giving me a sympathetic look before he heads towards the boys’ dorms. I glare at James as he hasn’t let go of my arm yet.

“Why did you do that?”

“Why are you with him again?”

I scoff. “You mean our friend? Did you ever think maybe we were talking?”

“That’s the problem,” he says, dropping my arm.

“How is that a problem? I’m going through something and he’s just trying to help—”

He sighs harshly, looking around like he’s lost. He looks back at me with his brows furrowed.

“I don’t get it,” he says, practically whining. “You never keep things from me, and now you’re telling Moony all of your secrets and ditching me for him and… And I don’t understand it. We’re supposed to be best friends.”

“We are, Jamie, there’s just some things that I can’t—”

“Why not?” he swallows, tears starting to prick his eyes. “Why can’t you tell me? You never do this. We tell each other everything.”

I freeze for a moment, my mouth drying up as I look at him. I want to reach out for him and hold him and make him feel better. But I also want answers, because it’s his fault that everything got screwed up. He didn’t have to reject Lily. He didn’t have to kiss me when we were swimming. He didn’t have to do it again on his bedroom floor. He didn’t have to treat me like I was the most important person in his life.

“Then tell me why you kissed me,” I blurt out.

He shakes his head a little. “I don’t know.”

“Then figure it out! You don’t just get to kiss me and then act like you just did it for no reason.”

His chest heaved from his breathing, staring at me. His cheeks tinged pink again as he took a moment.

“I—I just wanted to. I don’t know. You were there and you were looking at me like that and you just…” he huffed a sigh. “I just wanted to kiss you.”

“Why?” I asked, frustrated.

“Because,” he said back, his tone matching mine. “Because I always want to kiss you and I slipped up and did it one time—”

“You did it twice!”

“Okay! Two times,” he exclaims. “We promised we would just forget about it.”

“And what exactly is that even supposed to mean?”

“You’re so fucking oblivious,” he grumbles, rolling his eyes. “God, what do I have to do to make you understand that I’m—”

I wait as he stops talking. “That you’re what?”

“I’m in love with you. I have been forever, and you’ve never cared,” he says, letting out a shuddering breath. “And now you’re spending all of your time with Remus. And it’s so embarrassing that I’m sat here hopelessly in love with my best friend of over ten years while she’s running around with another one of our friends.”

“Running around with him? We sit in the common room and talk because you’re fucking infuriating!”

“Oh, so you’re gossiping about me?” he asks, voice raising as mine does once again.

“Not gossiping, just—”

“Just what?”

“I’m in love with you, too, you fucking tosser!”

He looks angry for a few moments, then it switches to confusion, then shock, and possibly the five stages of grief before he finally lands on raised brows and an open mouth.

“You what?” he exclaims.

“You’re so annoying,” I say, groaning. “Yeah, Lily had to go and tell me I was in love with you, and she always has to be fucking right about everything, doesn’t she?”

“Are you listening to yourself right now?” he asks incredulously, furrowing his brows. “You just told me you loved me.”

“I’m aware, James,” I say, crossing my arms.

“Well… Did you mean it?”

“Obviously,” I say, shaking my head at him like it was a dumb question.

“You’re so dumb,” he says under his breath.

Before I can say anything else, he’s moving forward, his hands on my cheeks as he crashes his lips into mine. I melt into him, this kiss being way more passionate than the one we shared the night before. I hold onto his waist, letting him deepen the kiss, though it only lasts for a minute or two after that.

He pulls away. “You’re infuriating. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“You didn’t tell me anything, either!”

“I kissed you twice!”

I roll my eyes. “That doesn’t count. You said we should forget about both times.”

“Only cause I thought that’s what you’d want,” he defends, making an annoyed face.

I try to be angry, but it’s a difficult task. I reach up, running a thumb over his furrowed eyebrows.

“So grumpy,” I mutter. “Just told you I was in love with you. You’d think you’d at least try to be happy.”

He scoffs a laugh, pulling me into a hug, his face buried in my neck.

“I’ve never been happier.”

We hear footsteps coming down a few minutes later.

“You owe me ten galleons,” Sirius’s voice says.

I look over James’s shoulder as he keeps holding onto me, not caring that our friends are right there.

“You were betting on us?” I ask.

Sirius nods with a smirk. “And Peter just lost. He thought you’d take until the end of the year to get together. I said it’d be in this term.”

“I didn’t bet,” Remus says from behind Sirius, holding his hands up in surrender with a small smile. “Glad you worked it out, though.”

I smile at them, shaking my head and turning my attention back on James again. He looks at me finally.

“I’m glad, too,” he says quietly. “Think I might’ve combusted if I had to keep pretending I didn’t want you like that.”

“Didn’t do a great job at covering for it, though. Still kissed me twice.”

“You say like you didn’t love it,” he smirks with a wink.

————-> SMUT STARTS HERE. 18+ <-————

James finally pulls away, taking my hand in his.

“Good, now that you’re all out the room, if you’ll excuse us…” he says, pulling me past the boys who all groan in disgust.

I giggle as he practically runs to his room with my hand in his, kissing me the second the door is shut and locked. I smile into the kiss, my arms around his neck. He starts kissing my cheek and jaw after a few minutes.

“Hope you’ve been feeling the tension as much as I have, cause I could probably cum in my pants right now if you asked me to,” he says casually, as if it wouldn’t send a wave of arousal down my body.

“Oh my…” I trail off as he bites at my neck softly. “Are we gonna…?”

He pauses, his eyes wide. “Oh. I probably should’ve asked before I assumed, huh?”

He winces a little at his own excitement, cheeks tinged pink.

“Sorry.”

I smile softly. “That’s okay. I— I want to, I just didn’t know if that’s what the plan was.”

He smiles again brightly, kissing me once more. He giggled against my lips, then starts backing me towards the bed.

“I really do love you. Kind of embarrassing, really. I think I have forever,” he says softly, laying me down on the mattress and crawling over me.

I let out a soft breath. “Embarrassing for me, I think. I didn’t even realize until someone else told me I did.”

He laughs again, starting to kiss down my neck.

“I kind of always wanted you to be my first time, to be honest,” he says against my skin.

I pause, realizing what’s really happening. “Oh. Oh my god.”

“What?” he asks, leaning up to start unbuttoning my shirt.

“Wait, have you never… You haven’t done this either, have you?”

“Not all the way,” he shakes his head, then looks at me with wide eyes. “Is that okay?”

“That’s okay. I haven’t either. Just… You know. I’ve done some hand stuff but that was it.”

He looks at me again, then starts laughing a little. I find myself laughing right back as reality sets in for both of us.

“We’re gonna take each others virginity,” I say, still laughing a little. “Oh my god.”

He snorts a laugh. “Didn’t wake up this morning thinking this would happen, that’s for certain.”

I smile. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” he teases, dropping a kiss on the tip of my nose.

I watch as he finishes taking off my shirt, getting up just enough to help him pull it and my camisole off completely. He sits back on his knees, staring at me for a moment.

“You alright, Jamie?”

He nods. “Doing great, love.”

He starts taking off his own shirt, then. As many times as I’d seen his arms and chest, you’d think I wouldn’t still feel amazed seeing him in just his trousers… But I couldn’t stop staring, either. He leaned back in, kissing me again. I let my hands run over his arms and back, having free reign to do so and enjoying it. He nipped at my lip, a little noise leaving me and making him smile against my lips. I do the same to him, both of us ending up grinning at each other again.

“This is nice,” I say quietly. “Doing this with you, it’s nice. I like that we don’t feel like we have to act… sexy.”

“Well, that because it’s never an act for me, love,” he winks with a smirk.

I pull him back down with a giggle, though the smile is wiped from my face when he rolls his hips into mine. Feeling him hard for me for the first time leaves me a little breathless, especially when he’s grinding into me. I small groan leaves me when he does it again.

“Like it when you do that,” he says into my ear, doing it again just to get another reaction out of me. “I like those little sounds you make. So pretty.”

I find myself breathing heavily, my hands squeezing between our bodies to start unbuckling his belt. He gets the hint and sits up, pulling it off himself.

“Get out of those, yeah?” he says, nodding at my bottoms as he works himself out of his.

I comply immediately, shimmying out of my trousers and tossing them onto the ground. He gets back on top of me as soon as we’re both one layers closer to what we really want. I let my hand slide into his underwear as he stars kissing at my neck again, letting out a shuddering breath when I finally feel him. He whimpers into my neck as I start stroking him, rutting his hips into my hand.

“Feel so good, love,” he says, voice whiny and desperate.

I groan back, especially as one of his hands slides under the band of my panties to slip a finger into me. I feel myself growing hotter, kissing him and swallowing the moans he lets out as my hand keeps working him over.

“Shit, Jamie,” I moan as he adds a second finger.

“Good for you?” he breathes out.

“Yes,” I say breathlessly. “Yes. Very.”

I whine as he gets me closer to the edge, his hips doing all the work as my hand stopped moving up and down his length. He adds pressure to my clit with his thumb, sending me careening over the edge with praises and his name on my lips.

He pulls his hand away from me suddenly.

“Can’t wait any longer, love,” he says, voice wrecked.

He slides my panties off my legs as I take my bra off. Then, I watch with wide eyes as he pulls his underwear off, his cock bigger than I was expecting by far. I knew he felt big, but seeing him was entirely different.

“Fuck,” I say, staring at him. “Don’t know if I can take that, Jamie.”

“Yeah, you can, love,” he nods, settling between my legs and kissing me softly. “You can take it, baby.”

He pushes himself up just enough for both of us to see him rubbing his head through my slick before prodding at my entrance. He starts pushing in slowly. I let out a loud groan, my eyes shutting.

“Shh, just relax, love,” he says, lips hovering over mine. “You’re doing so good. Taking it so well, baby.”

He whimpers against my lips as he keeps pushing in slowly.

“So big, Jamie,” I moan, watching him disappear inside of me.

“I know, baby,” he says, a few more little noises spilling from his mouth. “I know, but you’re being so good. My good girl.”

He bottoms out, both of us panting and holding onto each other as I adjust to the new feeling. It hurts a little, but not in a bad way. Especially when he starts moving. That bit of pain makes way for a lot of pleasure once he starts rocking into me at a steady pace, whining and moaning into my ear.

“S’good, Jamie. You feel so good,” I say, trying to catch my breath.

“So good for me, baby. Squeezing me nice,” he whines, pinning me down under the weight of his body. “Good girl. So proud of you taking me so well.”

“Gonna cum again,” I say, feeling it building in my stomach again.

“Me too, baby. Just a little more,” he says, pressing his face into my neck again. “Don’t want to be done so soon, but you feel so perfect. You’re so good for me.”

I moan at his ramblings of praise, his words only causing me to get closer to that peak again. I hold onto him tightly, my body wrapped around his as he fucks into me like we’d done it a million times before. I speak his name over and over and over again as I crash down, my eyes rolling back from the intensity of the orgasm, and the fact that he doesn’t stop fucking me through it.

Though, near the end of my peak, he moans out a hundred more praises, my name falling from his lips as I feel him fill me up with his cum. He whimpers again against my skin as he finishes, not stopping the movement of his hips until he’s visibility overstimulated.

We breathe heavily, holding onto one another tightly as we come down from our highs, his hair sticking to his forehead as he leans in to kiss me softly again.

“Holy shit,” he whispers. “You’re perfect.”

I breathe out, a small smile on my face. “You… Yeah. Oh my god. I thought the first time was supposed to be bad.”

“It was perfect for me. But I barely lasted, it couldn’t have been that great for you,” he says, looking a little disappointed that he might not have done a good job for me.

I shake my head. “You still made me come harder than I ever have. You were incredible, Jamie. I mean it.”

He smiles softly. “I’m gonna have to kick them out of here more often. I might be addicted now.”

“And we have more things to try,” I add. “Can’t let this happen only once a week or something. Too much to figure out, I think.”

He giggles again. “Like what?”

“I’d really like you in my mouth next time.”

His smile drops. He starts nodding quickly. “Yes. Yeah, I’ll kick them out at two in the morning if you ask. Whatever you want.”

I laugh, pulling him into another kiss.

“Now, we have to figure out that contraceptive spell, or else we might be in some trouble,” I say with a smile.

“Sorry about that,” he smirks, clearly not sorry. “I’m sure Sirius knows it.”

“Please. As if he isn’t fucking Remus whenever those two run off to the shrieking shack.”

James’s eyes widen. “What?”

I snort a laugh.

“And you called me the oblivious one.”

[addicted-to-morally-grey-men]

................

Uhm... So this is my first time writing a storyline based thing and spare me cause I'm slowly getting the hang of how Tumblr works but i present y'all with....

Storyline: haikyuu... A historical fantasy story about a arch mage, an alchemist and a crowned royal prince. You have been engrossed by the manhwa after your friend recommended this to you. But what happens when you suddenly get isekai'ed into the story as a saintess?

Yandere sakusa (our cleanliness loving arch mage):

You were the saintess.. and he was the mage... Ofcourse you guys were meant to be! It was a match made in heaven sweetheart! You are meant to be together forever! The things you touch... The path you walk on... Everything around you is soo pure so innocent and so so so desperate to be ruined..ruined by him!

(he's an arch mage honey, he's gonna arch your back( ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠))

The moment he realises that the crowned prince and that bastard of an alchemist are in love with you... He loses it! He has to keep you safe! No one is allowed to taint your pure soul! No one but him!

Don't be surprised when you find yourself locked in a temple with high level magic spells around you.. he just did it for your protection sweetheart.. So what if you are the saintess and have to bless people? You should only use your blessings on him and him alone! Don't worry love... He'll make sure to remove any peck of impurity around both of you<3

Even if he has to get his hands dirty just for you<3

Yandere akaashi (royal crowned prince)

You're a saintess... That means you are his bride! His soon to be wife and the empire's mother! What do you mean that's not how it works? Isn't it how it goes in the stories? The saintess marries the crowned prince who turns into the emperor and they live happily forever ever after?

Aw.. ofcourse you don't know about it.. you're a pure soul afterall! Silly him! He needs to protect you then! Since, he can't have someone else taking his salvation away!

...WHAT!? THAT LOUSY MAGE AND PESKY ALCHEMIST DARE HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU!? This can't be! no nO NO NO! This is treason! Treason against the royal family! So what if they are powerful? They need to be executed immediately!

Only he has the rights to claim you as his wife! Even if he has to bend a few royal orders here and there....

Yandere kita ( perfectionist alchemist )

Playing with spells and magic circles was his thing! The moment he laid his eyes on you.. he was enchanted! Obsessed! Desperate!. He needed to have you one way or the other.

You bless people, save them from misery by your holy powers, the epitome of mercy whereas he was deemed as evil, scary and an outcast.. but you.. you were the only one who treated him like a human.. no, no he doesn't care if you're the saintess, a maid or even a witch... He loves you! No matter what you are and what you want to be!

He's got to cage you keep you safe from prying eyes! Darling, he has seen how other stare at you... It makes him want to claw their eyes out!

How about going far far away from humanity where only the two of you are present? Doesn't it sound so romantic?♡

.

.

.

.

[devildomditzy]

“Are you sure this will work?”

“Cmoooon, it’s foolproof! When have I ever let ya down?”

You raise your eyebrows at him, giving him a pointed look.

“Okay, I let ya down one time.”

You raise your eyebrows higher.

“Alright, alright! A couple of times. But this time I’ve got it locked down, I promise!”

You look away from him, a bit peeved he was making you the ‘main component’ to his next ‘big scheme’.

Try as you might, you can’t say no to him. This little bastards got you wrapped around his finger.

He gives you that look. You know the one. The one that always lets him get his way. The one that instantly makes you fold.

You let out a defeated sigh, “Okay, fine. I’ll do it.”

“Yes!”, he cheers as you watch him bounce excitedly around the room, quickly starting to toss various things aside on his messy floor seemingly looking for supplies? of some kind?

When he turns back to you, he’s got new ambition in his eyes.

“Right, step number one, we gotta get Asmo to getcha all dolled up.”

He gives what you can only describe as an evil little chuckle as he grabs your wrist and pulls you along towards the avatar of lust’s room.

“Hiiii”, Asmo sings as he opens the door to greet you. “I’m guessing you couldn’t say no to him again?”

You give Asmo a defeated, but annoyed look that says ‘don’t even start’.

He defensively throws up his hands. “Ooo, didn’t mean to touch a nerve there, hon!”

“Yeah yeah, their nerves are touched or whatever ya just said.” Mammon essentially pushes you into Asmo’s arms, cause you to indignantly huff at him. “Just hop to it, woula ya? We’re burnin’ daylight here!”

“Now now Mammon, is that anyway to talk to your lovely partner?”

“P-partner!? Whaddya mean partner? They’re just some stupid-“

Your deadly glare cuts him off completely.

“S-stupidly amazin’! Great human! So perfect! Did I mention you were amazin’?”

“Mammon?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Shut up.”

“That’s fair.”

The second born leaves you in the hands of the fifth as he promptly fucks off to who knows where to gather who knows what for this “plan”.

Asmo practically shoves you down into his vanity chair, eyes sparkling with delight as he looks you over, hand grabbing your jaw and titling your head side to side as if appraising a jewel.

“Now, tell me. What did you get yourself into this time, love?”

“Ugh, I agreed to help with another one of his stupid “money making” ideas… if you can even call stealing from unsuspecting drunks an idea.”

“So you’re going to be robbing people?”

“Yes? No? I don’t know. I’m just the distraction. The ‘eye candy’ he said. While I’m busy chatting up whoever, he’s gonna swipe their wallets.”

“You know hon, you don’t have to go along with his stupidity just to make him like you.”

“I know”, you sigh. “It just… it’s makes him so happy!”

“And so does his credit card! Just wave that in front of his face for a few seconds, it’ll have the same effect. Trust me, I’ve tried. And succeeded.”

You cross your arms, looking down, suddenly finding the floor very interesting as your brain works overtime thinking about him.

“I know… I guess I just wanted to be the reason why he’s happy.”

Asmo gives you a knowing smile, shaking his head. “What am I gonna do with you two? Ugh, it’s so cute I can barely take it!”

“What’s so cute?”

Asmo doesn’t just laugh at that, he cackles. He doubles over, tears in his eyes.

“Honey, if you don’t think we all can’t see this silly little back and forth you two are caught up in, you’re as delusional as Levi was when he thought he’d won a meet and greet with his favorite idol.”

“Wasn’t that another one of Mammon’s schemes?”

“Maybe..”, he leads off with a devilish lit in his voice.

You remain quiet as a small smile finds its way to his face and he shakes his head at you.

“You’re both ridiculous.”

Asmo grabs your shoulders, twisting the chair so you fully face the mirror. He runs a hand through your hair, staring into your reflection.

“How abouutttt, instead of getting you all made up to go to some dingy bar with my idiot brother, we get you all made up for my idiot brother, huh?”

“I dunno Asmo, he’s probably not even gonna notice.”

“Nonsense! When I’m done with you those drunks won’t be the only ones who are distracted.”, he says with a wink.

His smile? Devious.

It isn’t too long, probably a little over an hour before you hear banging on Asmo’s door.

“Oi! Are ya almost done in there? We’re on a tight schedule!”

“Why don’t you come in and see for yourself?”, Asmo questions in a dangerous voice.

Mammon is staring down at his D.D.D, typing with one hand as he opens the door with the other, so he doesn’t immediately see you.

But when he does

“Well…What do you think?”

Your voice comes out much shyer than you had hoped for, but you force yourself to look at him, knowing your face was on fire.

His eyes are wide behind his sunglasses as he just makes this unreadable face. One you don’t know what to make of.

“I uh, ya look uh.. I gotta”, he stammers before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath and…

“I forgot somethin’ in my room! Ya, just uh, gotta go grab it. Real important. And uh, you know what? You don’t have to come with me! The Great Mammon’s decidin’ to fly solo on this one, ha ha! Sooo…”

You watch him awkwardly back out of the room, shutting the door behind him before you hear him waking away. And then you hear that walk turn into a run.

“Well?”, Asmo nudges you, “Go after him, silly.”

“But Asmo-“

“We both know exactly why he acted like that. Stop worrying so much.” He gives you a genuinely warm smile. “Everyone knows that he likes you”.

Though nervous and maybe trembling slightly, you still manage to make your way to Mammon’s room. You hear shuffling inside that quickly halts when you knock.

“Mammon?”, you question when you get no actual response. “It’s me, can I come in?”

Still nothing, but you swear you hear him lean up against the door.

“I thought I was the ‘main component’ to this scheme. Now you don’t want me to be a part of it?”

You can’t hide to subtle hurt in your voice, one that makes him make some kind of groaning noise before promptly opening the door.

“Mammon I- woah!”, you stumble as he grabs you by the wrist once more, pulling you into his room quickly and slamming the door behind you.

He turns his back to you, eyes closed, one hand pinching the bridge of his nose, clearly frustrated.

“Mammon…”

“Listen, ya can’t… I can’t have ya goin’…”

He makes another annoyed noise before turning to face you.

“Ya can’t go out lookin’ like that okay! Especially to some seedy ass dive bar!”

“Why not? Isn’t this what you wanted? This was the whole plan right? I flirt with people, you take their wallets, we run before Lucifer hears anything about it.”

“Yeah, but-“

“Now I wasted all this time getting ready and you don’t wanna do this anymore?”

“It’s not tha-“

“I thought we were like, partners in crime. Maybe I was stupid for thinking that.”

The disappointment in your voice makes him crack.

“Ya look too damn good, okay?! I’m not lettin’ ya go cause I’m not lettin’ any of those assholes touch ya, let alone look at ya!”

His face is cherry red, and his arms are crossed as he keeps his eyes promptly shut. He looks as if he’s bracing for impact. Bracing for your response.

“I got to thinkin’ bout it after I dropped ya with Asmo and just… the thought of you sayin’ all that sweet stuff you say to me to a couple of nobodies just so I could swipe their pocketbooks? I couldn’t…ya can’t….ya can’t say that stuff to anybody else, got it?”

He seems to let out the breath he’s been holding.

“Specially not lookin’ like that. I mean, ya always look amazin’, but this is…wow.”

He looks you up and down, and you can’t help but feel like your heart is exploding into a million pieces. Was it nervousness? Was it excitement? Was it a mix of both?

You’ll never know, because what he said next makes your thoughts hault, heart beating out of your chest.

“It would kinda be a shame for you to get all dressed up for nothin’ though so…can I take ya to dinner?”

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

chapter xx – gust & flame

Eris Vanserra x Reader

Eris Vanserra has been a prisoner in his own home since the day he was born. He has done what he had to in order to survive and protect the few he loves. And he is playing the long game. Waiting, waiting, and waiting for the right time to make his move, to usurp his wicked father and become High Lord of Autumn Court. But things become even more complicated when a human girl drops into his life. Perhaps Eris can wait no longer to take his throne.

Word Count: 3,900+

Warnings: mentions of sexual assault, human trafficking

masterlist

Y/N woke up in a jolt. Somehow she immediately knew she had slept in. Her head whipped to the window to note that the sun was far too high in the sky. She was late for training. 

She sprinted around the room, changing into her training gear. 

That was when she registered that she wasn’t changing out of pajamas, but the clothes from yesterday. 

Y/N paused as all the events of last night returned. 

Eris had climbed onto the back of her horse. He’d carried her to her chambers last night and tucked her gently into bed. 

It felt like a dream. How had it not panicked her to be so close to someone who still felt like a stranger sometimes? But her body had only been relaxed – past her utter exhaustion, that is. 

Y/N blinked, urging herself out of the memory. 

She was already so late, and the Weapons Master would surely be irritated and make her pay for it by being extra hard on her with training. 

Y/N sprinted down the halls of the Forest House, yelping out apologies over her shoulder to all the servants that she nearly ran into in the process. 

But when she arrived to the training courtyard, the Weapons Master was nowhere to be found. 

And in his place was Eris – shirtless. 

A dozen soldiers surrounded him with various weapons drawn. They all took turns attacking their High Lord – or sometimes all lunging for him at the same time. 

Y/N knew Eris was the general of Autumn Court’s army before usurping Beron. Yet seeing him handle a sword so well still caught her by surprise somehow. It was clear he had been taking it easy on her when they'd sparred at the top of the House of Wind.

Eris never looked panicked, and he handled every attack as if it was obvious. But the only thing that was obvious was that his soldiers were not holding back anything. In fact, they seemed utterly frustrated that they couldn’t get a hit on their High Lord. Perhaps their failure to do so was an insult to Eris’ training as their former general. 

Eris’ skin was covered in a thin layer of sweat. And that sweat only made his muscles even more pronounced. 

Upon their earlier run ins, Y/N had assumed Eris was leaner than the other male fae she had befriended. But he was just as muscular as Azriel and Cassian – whom Y/N had seen shirtless almost more times than she saw them clothed. 

Once Y/N was able to get past her own attraction, she noticed that Eris’ skin was also riddled with scars. 

From what she knew of fae bodies, it was rather hard for injuries to scar. But after Y/N had witnessed – and been a victim herself – to Beron’s evil, she could only assume that the bastard had a hand in most of Eris’ scarring. 

Eris knocked down one of his soldiers, giving himself a few pauses of rest, when he noticed Y/N’s arrival. 

They all followed his gaze, wondering what had caught their High Lord’s attention. 

With it, they all bowed deeply to her. 

The gesture still made Y/N uncomfortable. It felt undeserved and quite silly. 

A servant rushed over to Eris with a towel before he reached her. 

“Sleep well?” Eris asked her casually.

Clearly, he was completely unaware of what his semi-nakedness was doing to her. 

“I didn’t mean to sleep in,” Y/N muttered with embarrassment, trying hard not to stare at his pecs or abs. 

“I did,” he quickly countered. “I canceled your training last night. You have been overworking yourself.” 

Y/N glared at him and crossed her arms. “You are allowed to force a break on me. But does that power go both ways?” 

Eris smirked. “Why? Are you concerned for me, little witch?” 

But Y/N didn’t back down. “Well, someone has to be.”

He seemed surprised at how easily she admitted it. 

“Come, I have something to show you.” He nodded to the door back inside the Forest House. 

The servant came back to him. This time, with a white tunic. 

Eris threw it over his head, not bothering to tie the neckline. So Y/N still got a peak of his muscular chest. 

Y/N walked alongside him as he led her through the curving hallways. 

“Rhysand had your things delivered. But I thought you deserved your own space for your craft. I apologize for keeping you away from your things, but I needed time for them to clear out a space for all of it.”

Y/N’s brow furrowed, not yet understanding what he was telling her. 

But Eris was already opening the door. 

He gestured for her to go in first. 

The room gave a green glow from the morning sun coming through the mostly emerald, stained-glass windows and ceiling. The walls were covered in dark and rich wood paneling. But the floor was a dark tile with an intricate design, clearly made to be an easy cleanup. 

Her plants and herbs had been transported here from her store in Velaris, along with the rest of her supplies. It was stored in the countless wooden cabinets. But there seemed to be countless new things provided to her, as well. 

Eris stood back, watching Y/N take in the room. 

“If it is not to your liking, you may change anything you wish.” Did he sound nervous? “Just say the word.”

“It…It’s b-beautiful,” Y/N managed to whisper as her wide eyes still took it all in. 

Eris cleared his throat awkwardly. “Will it suffice?” 

She blinked “Suffice?”

He stepped closer to her, his hands clasped behind his back. “Potions, casting, research – anything that your craft requires…”

All she could bring herself to do was nod with enthusiasm.

Then she turned to fully face him, putting her back to the room. Her eyes were glazed over in tears. But she refused to embarrass herself by crying in front of him.

“E-Eris…t-thank you,” she breathed. 

“It is the least I can do after keeping you here,” he answered as he look at the ground. 

Y/N stepped toward him. 

The closeness made Eris’ head snap up to look at her. 

“Would you do such things for me…if I was not…” She hesitated. “If I was not your mate?”

The question was like a slap, and Y/N saw it on his face.  

Eris’ nostrils flared and his jaw clenched. 

“I am not entirely sure what you are asking,” he finally admitted after a moment.

His answer only seemed to put even more distance between them. Y/N’s posture collapsed slightly as she shook her head. 

“Forget it,” she mumbled. “Thank you for this.”  

“No,” Eris defended firmly. “Tell me what you mean by asking such things.” 

Y/N wanted to run. Run from the room. Run from Eris. Run from this bond. 

But the guilt at doing so after he just gifted her such a room was what made her frozen in place. 

“Sometimes I wonder…” she muttered. 

“Yes,” he encouraged her. 

She lifted her gaze to him. “Sometimes I wonder if you only do these things because you think it is what is required of you…since I am your mate.” 

Eris brow rose as he slowly understood what she was trying to communicate. “As opposed to what? Doing them because I want to?” 

She shrugged. “I guess.” 

“You think I only gift you such things because of the bond?” Eris asked. “As if it forces me to perform such acts?” 

Y/N just nodded her head, but her hypothesis was clearly holding firm. 

Eris took in a deep breath and stepped to Y/N until their chests were almost touching. “It seems that I need to clarify something, Y/N.” 

And Y/N heart raced at his tone alone. 

“I shower you with gifts because I wish to. Because it makes my heart race to see your eyes light up from it. I am not hypnotized by our mating bond to do anything. The Cauldron works in mysterious ways, yes. But I have known many males who have ignored their mates entirely, some who even abused them. So, no… the bond forces me to do nothing. I only enjoy making you happy.” He stared into her eyes before finishing with, “Do you understand?” 

Y/N nodded because she didn’t trust herself with words after such a confession.

Eris then hung his head in shame before adding, “Perhaps once day I will be able to express how I feel through words, instead of using gifts to tell you.” 

“And why won’t you try now?” 

Eris frowned as he raised his head. “Because it would be the thing that made you run again. And we both know it.” 

Y/N’s heart was screaming at her to tell him what she was thinking, what haunted her. He deserved to know how she felt about all of this – him, them, the bond. He did so much for her and never ever asked for anything in return. 

But that just meant he deserved to know her feelings even more. 

Y/N took in a shaky breath. “Eris–“

A messenger rushed through the open door. “High Lord, pardon the interruption.”

“What is it?” Eris barked. 

“It’s your brother, Aurelius. He has taken Mycenae.”

——

Y/N was keeping in step with Eris as he rushed to the main court yard. 

“Mycenae is on the Erythrian Sea,” he explained to her. “And its harbors are where the majority of our imports come through. He means to cut off our supplies and hoard them.” 

“But what does he want?”

“Most likely? To kill me.” Eris shrugged. 

Y/N froze. “Eris, that is not funny!”

He stopped to. “And I was not kidding.” 

“How long of a ride is it?”

“We are not riding. We are winnowing. An element of surprise is needed.” Then he gave her a warning look. “And you are not coming with.” 

Suddenly, a gust of wind whipped through all of them, hard enough that Eris had to dig his feet into the ground to stand still.

He looked at Y/N quickly, because it was clear she was listening to something he could not. 

Her eyes widened and the expression she threw at him was desperate. 

“Please, I must go,” she whispered shakily. 

Eris looked around them, making sure his soldiers were at least pretending not to listen to their conversation. 

He moved closer and lowered his voice. “It is not safe, Y/N.” 

“I can look after myself. Plus, I can help, and you know it.”

“Yes, and you can help by looking after the Forest House. This could be a distraction while my brother plans on attacking here, while I am elsewhere.” 

“If he truly means to kill you, he will save the sacking of the Forest House after you’re dead,” Y/N countered harshly. “I have not asked for anything from you, Eris. But I am asking you this: let me go with you. There is something I must do.” 

Eris knew she was right, but he ignored her. 

Just then, one of his commanders winnowed beside them. 

“I can direct you to a safe distance from his forces, High Lord. They are armed and at the ready. He knows you are coming.”  

Eris turned to Y/N. “You stay at my side at all times. Do you understand? And at the first sign of danger, I will be commanding one of my soldiers to winnow you back.” 

She nodded aggressively. 

Then he turned to what appeared to be somewhat of a squire nearby. “Get her some armor.” 

———

The Autumn Court army stood ready to winnow together. Those who did not have the ability clustered to High Fae who did. It was not all of the court’s forces, but Y/N knew not to underestimate the small portion of it they did have. 

Both Eris and Y/N had on armor. A squire had found an old female set and hurriedly helped Y/N into with a bit of privacy. It was a little big at some parts, but it would do. 

“We will get your own made,” Eris had noted when he saw her step out. 

Now, Eris held Y/N’s hand tightly. He looked down at her, silently asking her to change her mind about coming. 

But her only response was to squeeze his hand. 

Then they were somewhere else. 

As soon as Y/N was aware of her surroundings, her eyes narrowed into a glare.

“I wondered when you would finally grace us with your presence,” someone called out from in the woods. The trees were not that close together, but the fog made it only possible to see the rough outline of a small army in the distance. 

“Come out, Aurelius!” Eris called out. “Before you get all your fools killed.” 

Y/N took a half step forward. He looked down to see that her eyes had turned that glowing white once again. Slowly raising her hands up from her sides, Eris felt the magic radiating off of her. 

Slowly the fog before them disappeared, exposing their enemy. 

But just as it did, someone in the distance yelled, “Fire!” 

Two hundred arrows launched into the air, aiming straight for them. 

Eris shoved Y/N behind him, using his own body as her shield.

But it was pointless, for her wind had already rushed from the side and tossed the arrows into a frenzy that they never got even close to them. 

Anger overtook him now. 

They dare fire on their High Lord and his mate? 

Now…they would regret it. 

With a growl, Eris launched himself forward. With just a few wave of his hands, a wall of fire thirty yards high and fifty yards across flew towards their enemy, leaving no holes for escape. 

It hit them within seconds of releasing. And cries of pain and horror were the only thing that proved the attack had been successful. 

But not everyone had been taken out. There would be some who wielded enough power to shield themselves or use their own abilities to counter the fire. 

Eris looked at his commander. “Bring my brother to me alive. The rest can die.” 

With that, his soldiers charged into the trees. 

Y/N did as Eris asked, staying near his side. Though she used her bow to shoot down the enemy from a safe distance. Eris used his magic to take down hoards of his brother’s army. He would’ve stepped into the frenzy if he were not worried about taking Y/N with him. 

The battle only lasted 20 minutes or so before Eris had had enough. This killing was pointless and his brother was a coward for letting others fight such a battle for him. 

With the clap of Eris’ hands, he erupted a wall of fire from the ground and it separated his men from the enemy. The rest of his brother’s rebels, who were behind enemy lines, were killed by Eris’ army. 

Y/N strapped her bow behind her back and unsheathed her sword as she followed Eris toward the wall. 

Through the flames, he caught sight of his brother. Y/N had to stand further back due to the burning heat of the fire wall. 

As soon as Eris locked eyes with Aurelius, the wall collapsed. 

A whip of fire lashed out, wrapping around Aurelius and dragging him toward Eris as his skin was scorched from the flames.

The pulling only stopped when he was on his knees before his High Lord and brother. 

Y/N took in the new Vanserra brother. Perhaps he was once handsome, but the bitterness has made his frown deeper and his face harder. He shared that infamous red hair with his brothers. But the kindness in Lucien and Eris’ eyes was missing. Despite all her efforts, Leonora could not save all of her sons from Beron poisoning their souls.  

“You’re a fool, Aurelius.” Eris hissed. “Did you believe you stood a chance?” 

But Aurelius wasn’t looking at his brother. He was looking at Y/N. 

“Brought your witch whore, did you?” 

With the slander, fifty bows knocked an arrow and aimed at Aurelius. To insult their High Lord’s mate was to insult their entire court. 

Y/N only glared at him in return, not even blinking at the comment. 

Eris launched forward, punching Aurelius so hard across the face that teeth flew out of his mouth.

He grabbed Aurelius by the neck in a death grip. “You dare to even look at her! Try to again, and I will rip out your eyeballs, so you never can.” 

Aurelius was smart enough to show fear and regret now. But he wasn’t done taunting his brother yet. 

“Does she know?” He rasped as the whip of fire tightened. “Does she know that she is bonded to a monster?”

“I did what I had to in order to survive Beron,” Eris hissed. “The difference between you and me is that mine was a mask. But you…no, you took it all to heart and let our father ruin you.”

Aurelius laughed in his face. “Oh, is that what you think? You truly believe you are so much better than the rest of us?” 

Eris had a look of hesitation. 

“You hunted down countless innocents, same as us. You may not have killed Lucien’s lover, but you watched as it happened and did nothing. You watched our mother get beaten and raped for centuries. And you stopped none of it. And do you know why?” He leaned toward Eris as much as he could. “Because you are weak, Eris. You were a weak general and now…now you will be a weak High Lord.”

Fire lit in Eris’ gaze at the words. 

He let out a snarl and hemisphere of fire erupted from him, taking out any survivors of Aurelius’ rebellion that still lingered behind their pathetic leader.

Their bodies lit on fire and they screamed their lungs out until there was nothing more to feel. 

Aurelius smiled up at his brother. “And your precious mate will figure it out soon, too. You thought you could have everything you ever wanted. And you are a fool for it.” 

Eris unsheathed his sword and lifted it into the air. 

“Eris!” Y/N screamed.

To her surprise, he froze. 

Eris didn’t look at her, but she knew he was waiting for her to speak. 

“Don’t. It is what he wants: to drag you down to his level.” 

“He did not hesitate to hunt down and try to kill Lucien,” Eris argued while he kept his eyes on his brother. “He wished to kill me today.” 

“Let him rot in the dungeons,” she told him softly. 

Eris let his sword finally drop, but glared down at his brother. “Never forget the reason you are alive is due to my mate... and out of respect for our mother.” 

Then he shoved his sword into Aurelius’ gut. Being fae, he would survive easily – but not without tremendous pain. 

“That was for calling my mate a whore,” Eris whispered in his ear before landing a punch so hard across Aurlius’ face that it rendered him unconscious. 

“Cuff him with faebane,” Eris commanded to his soldiers. 

Then he turned to his mate, half expecting her to look at him differently – with fear and disgust. But she was only weary, trying to figure out if she should give him space or not. 

When his face softened from their eyes locking, Y/N let out a breath she was holding. 

“I-I must got into the city,” she urged him softly. 

He didn’t like the sound of that. “What for?”

“There are humans who need my help.” Scared that he would refuse her, she added a desperate, “Please.” 

Eris called over one of his commanders and requested an escort for them to march forward and enter the city of Mycenae. 

“My brother may be captured, but his followers most likely still linger in the city. Stay close to me,” Eris warned her quietly. 

As soon as they were within the city limits, Y/N pointed. “Follow the wind.” 

Before he could ask for her to clarify, he saw any objects hanging from walls or rooftops showing a clear path for them. 

Y/N unsheathed her sword once more and rushed to follow the wind. 

A few minutes later, they were stopped at a decrepit house. 

Y/N looked up at Eris. “They’re in there.” 

He stepped forward. “Come out now unarmed and we will spare your lives.” 

There was a moment of tense silence. 

But to Y/N’s surprise, a dozen males slowly came out of the house. 

With the flick of his hand, Eris wrapped a chain of fire around the group and pulled them roughly to their knees. They groaned in pain as the flames burned their skin and clothes. 

“Stay here,” Y/N whispered just before rushing past them to move into the house. 

He wanted to ignore her demand and follow after her. But he stayed in place. 

A few minutes later, Y/N came charging back out. 

And within the same moment, she slid her sword across the neck of the nearest male. Then she slit the throat of the one next to him. And finally, she jabbed the sword into the gut of a third.

Eris saw that tears stained her cheeks. 

“Are there any others?” She growled at the other male faes who still lived. 

They looked at her with fear in their eyes, knowing there would be no saving themselves. 

“N-No…that was all we f-f-found,” one of them managed to stutter. 

Y/N looked over to Eris with utter heartbreak in her eyes. She didn’t need to tell Eris what she found in that house. He already knew. 

Waiting for Y/N to step away and move to his side, Eris then snapped his fingers and fire lit beneath the males. 

Their screams of agony filled the air. 

Neither Y/N nor Eris looked away as the males slowly burned to their deaths. 

It was only when the sounds had stopped that she turned away. 

“We need blankets,” she told her mate softly. “Many of them are without clothes. And perhaps your male soldiers should…keep their distance.” 

When Y/N had first arrived to the Night Court, Rhysand had sent Azriel and Cassian on a search for the rest of the humans that had been captured alongside Y/N.

None were ever found. 

But today Y/N had discovered half of that same group – women and children. Aurelius had gifted the humans to his rebels, as if their were objects to play with. 

One of his commanders seemed to already have read the situation, because he instantly handed Y/N a pile of blankets. 

“Let me know if you need more,” the male said softly. “There is a group of female soldiers who volunteered to winnow them back to the Forest House to be tended to.” 

Y/N nodded her thanks and took the piles of blankets, disappearing back into the house to try and coax the victims out of the hell they’d been imprisoned in for months and months. 

Eris turned back to the commander. “Warn the staff at the house to prepare rooms and food for them. And alert the healers.” 

––––––––

OK. So thinks got a wee bit dark LOLOLOLOL.

[anonimusunnoaniswriting]

𝑴𝑫𝑵𝑰 🎀Age in bio or blocked🎀

Clumsy Office Intern

ReaderxGetoxNanamixGojoxShoko.

Follow up to this with dubcon Sukuna x reader, find it here.

This is disgusting filthy smut but also a full fantasy. I do not endorse such behaviour. Colleagues should help each other but not like this. It is wholly imaginary and such occurences should remain in fanfiction and porn and these biomes only.

Thank you for your consideration. Also Sukuna has blue balls here.

A big thank you to @ominous-meme for proof reading and beta reading. Love you, you evil bastard.

Silly little new intern at the office… Somehow things just always went awry when you were involved. Those papers that went missing; the printer jamming; that time you tripped and dropped coffee all over the break room floor. Forgetting to submit your paperwork and delaying the production pipeline… 

So very clumsy, yet so eager to please. A cute little thing running around the office, your tight blue skirt hugging the curves of your ass. The billowy cream blouse you kept loosely tucked so it could hang and cover your pudgy belly. Your hair falling down your back in a pretty curtain. Trying so very hard to make up for all the teeny mistakes and accidents only to cause more as you go. So why weren't you fired yet? 

Well, simply because your seniors covered for you. After all, letting such a cute little thing slip out of their hands wasn't what they wanted at all. 

So Satoru helped you look for the missing papers, Suguru brought the mop out to clean the spill, Shoko showed you just where you could tap the printer to encourage it to move along and Kento – he was the worst of the lot – took the blame for you, not submitting your paperwork saying the task he gave you must have taken precedence in your mind and so he should have been clearer with you.  

So when your boss yelled at you two it was Kento who took most of it, much to your embarrassment. But he did so happily – after all, he knew you would be making it up to them. 

So now there you were in Shoko’s house, supposedly for karaoke, songs long forgotten and all of you with enough alcohol in you to guarantee a wicked hangover in the morning. And you were convinced that the best way to repay your kind senpais was with your sweet plush body.

Somehow you had been pulled onto Kento’s lap, back to him – “You were unsteady and I didn't want you to hurt yourself.” His hands that had started out resting on either side of your waist had slowly inched their way up to knead your breasts over the thin fabric of your blouse. Satoru – having long forgotten any sense of personal space – had his lips on the curve of your neck gently biting and sucking at the skin. Below, Shoko and Suguru worked together. While Shoko lifted your skirt and spread your legs, Suguru left a trail of soft kisses down the length of your inner thigh, creeping towards your panties, where you could feel yourself getting wetter. 

A hand reached into your panties and you heard Kento’s deep voice rumbling in your ear. “Feeling good, beautiful? Would you like it if Geto-senpai was doing a little more?” 

You nodded blushing like a tomato. Satoru, feeling left out, started tugging at your tucked blouse, still nuzzling into your neck. 

You could feel his thick cock pressing against your thigh and he whined, “You smell so fuckin’ good my lil’ intern…Delectable…You should taste her Shoko…”

The woman’s wet tongue licked a stripe up the other side of your neck, landing at your ear where she gently bit your earlobe and began to suck.  

All the attention was making a warmth bloom in your abdomen that slowly creeped down to your panties, where Suguru had found a home, laying his head on your thighs and nibbling and sucking at the skin. 

Shoko pushed your skirt high, bunching it around your waist. Her fingers gently circled your clit, taking care not to touch it directly. And Satoru had given up on untucking your blouse and simply got Kento to unbutton it for him instead. Your once saviour now attacked your neck with fervour, grinding his hard cock against your ass, and Satoru’s brilliant blue eyes locked onto yours as he kissed his way up your stomach and pulled down a bra cup to take your pebbled nipple between his lips. 

A hiss escaped your teeth as you felt him lightly bite down on it and simultaneously, Shoko pushed your panties aside for a long wet tongue to prod at your core. “Aahh- Geto-senpai!” You couldn't help but squeal, as his tongue explored the sensitive flesh around your pussy. 

You felt the other cup of your bra being pulled down too as Shoko began to kiss and lick at the erect nipple. You wanted to move. To touch them. To feel them the way they were feeling you. But both Satoru and Shoko had effectively pinned your arms against the couch. 

Satoru’s eyes reflected the ever changing light from the autoplaying karaoke videos, glinting mischievously. You had never felt so many hands on you. Despite experimenting in college, you'd been limited to one threesome at best. Every touch lit a fire under your skin.

Below you Kento’s breathing was getting heavier; it was almost like grunting now. He was the only one who was trapped, unable to work you, save for softly thrusting up into your ass, and the teasing was getting to be unbearable. 

A single look at Shoko had her pull away the duo from you for a second and she lifted you from Kento’s lap and placed her lips on yours,  soft and tasting of cigarettes. You lapped at her tongue gingerly, placing your hands on her breasts. Kento took the chance to unbutton his shirt and unzip his work slacks to pull out his cock from its restraint. Then he called to you, “Do you want to sit on it?” 

Your wide eyes and enthusiastic response made them all chuckle. Such a sweet little intern; of course they wanted to help you out. No other office should have a perfect little girl like you. And the mistakes – those could be easily handled with time. 

You went over to Kento who undid your skirt and tugged down your panties. You were going to straddle him face-to-face but the man stopped you. “Your senpais would like to see every little expression you make while I fuck you on my cock, baby girl. Is that okay?”  You nodded. 

Careful not to hurt either of you, you sank onto the thick girthy member standing at attention. Satoru and Suguru watched you with bated breath as you took all of Kento’s length, palming their own cocks over their pants. Kento allowed you to take the lead. His large hands splayed out over your thighs offered the support you would need. You were already so wet but he was large; filling you up well.

You began to move, testing the waters; all the grinding had left Kento sensitive, and he growled spurring you on even more. “Fuck- just like that baby girl!” Shoko kneeled in front of the two of you, splaying her tongue out onto your clit and letting you rock yourself on her tongue. 

You felt so stretched, about to snap at any moment. Kento pulled your blouse off your shoulders and unhooked your bra, now thrusting up into you himself. Shoko reached up to knead your soft breast once again, rubbing down the bites previously left by Satoru; whom your moans proved to be too much for. Ridding himself of his trousers he took your hand that had found its way to Shoko’s head tugging on her hair and made you wrap it around his length; long and slowly getting harder. 

From the other side Suguru took the opportunity to squeeze your cheeks to open your mouth and you hungrily swallowed his cock. Small twitches let you on to how much he was enjoying it. “So fukin’ good baby,” he moaned, carding his fingers through your hair. 

The coil in your stomach began to tighten, every feeling blurring into one. Kento’s voice cut through the heady moans and gasps; he seemed to be having trouble forming words too. “I’m close. You feel so good around me baby girl. Keep fucking bouncing like that.” There were hands on you – you didn’t know whose – feeling up and down rubbing you. Shoko’s tongue working over your clit. A mouth on your tit sucking and nibbling as your hand stroked Satoru hard and fast now. He was the first to spill, sticky white ropes painting your hand as he twitched and emptied his release, making a mess around you.  Your release chased right after, and you threw your head back in a cry, vision going white as you came sloppily onto Shoko’s tongue, creaming around Kento’s cock. 

Kento and Suguru pulled out of you, still intact, and Shoko smirked at the men from between your legs. “I say we take this to the bedroom, don’t you think so, gentlemen?” 

Your eyes widened, and Shoko laughed, “Surely you didn’t think we’d be done so quickly…” 

On Monday, when Sukuna Ryomen entered the office, sighing at another week of work, his eyes fell on your lovely form. As your boss, he knew there were certain boundaries he shouldn’t cross but looking wouldn’t be any harm…or so he told himself.  He noticed, however, that your eyes never left your four coworkers. If only he had known just how his team had spent their weekend …

AN: hi. Just wanted to say this was inspired by this uquiz result I got. I have no recollection of what the quiz was about nor how to get back there so oops. But I had this screenshot saved and thought up this ridiculous scenario.

[deadghosy]

If I was in Hazbin hotel:

Author insert x Hazbin Hotel

Prompt: an author is bored as they decided to jump into their favorite fandom at this very moment.

Honestly I’m bored asf rn lmao.

Will, the blogger in tumblr known as Deadghosy was bored in his room as he listens to jay aka kub scoutz 😍 playing lil guardsman. Being even more bored they opened their palm as a digital portal opens-

OKAY STOP…at first I was gonna do that story ass shit but let me be real. I died by not getting enough sleep and I popped into hell for not liking those Jesus posts😭

I’d honestly be in the sloth ring for being lazy asf and being tired most of the time. But also be in the gluttony ring as well. A BIG BITCH GOTTA EATTTT😭

But I would probably still be able to go into the pride ring because of my pride in not needing help from people. 😭 I hate asking for damn help irl.

I actually have very sharp canine teeth and bottom rows, I might as well be mistaken for a humanoid demon lol/j

But if did have a demon form, it’s a bear since I eat and sleep all day lmao.

Alastor wouldn’t “hate hate” me but find me annoying. I would try to get on his good side and never do deals with him obviously cause I like my soul 😍. But dead ass I’m showing him lingo of gen z ☝🏾💀 cause ain’t no way ima hear this deer man yap in a way I can’t understand. This is not no new broadcast from the old times dude. “Salutations!-” HAVIN ASS😕

Friendship level: 5/10

Sir Pentious, I’m teaching this bitch how to do the whip and nae nae 😄. I love him personally cause he so silly sometimes. I would just pop up as he works on weapons but not help him lol. I think personally our friendship would be the kind to talk to each other for a little and stop and repeat😕

Friendship level: 4.5/10

Charlie would like me because of my hyperactive personality sometimes. Like if I’m fixating on something, she would listen and probably tell her father. But mostly i wouldn’t do the trust exercises, she’ll have to drag my black ass to do them 💀

Friendship level: 6/10

Lucifer and I would be so chill dead ass. He’s probably adopt me if I’m gonna be honest cause I also have a duck toy in my room as we speak 😭LITERALLY I MIGHT AS WELL BE A MINI HIM WITH HIM HAVING HYPER FIXATIONS.

Friendship level: 10/10

Vaggie and me, idk she’s chill but short tempered. But I don’t think she would hate me but only he suspicious at first, but then just be chill with me. I would try to help her around but procrastinate lmao

Friendship level: 5.5//10

Husk would probably be chill but not have an opinion on me honestly. It will depend on me just going to talk to him or being nervous to talk to him. I hate being awkward so I would just wave or sit by his bar and chill with him as I draw.

Friendship level: it’s probably between 3/10 and 5/10

Angel and me, idk I feel like I would be a small friend of his to help. He wouldn’t trauma dump that much on me cause I’m just a kid so it would be like “oh my work is shit but my boss is even more shit.” So I would just nod acting like I don’t know what’s going on. Plus, I would probably try to make him something with the help of Lucifer

Friendship level: ima be honest…it’s probably a 4/10 cause I’m a minor and he has problems he need it overcome. He doesn’t need a minor to yap his ear off 😕

The Vee’s…😕ain’t no way ima talk to them front to front if I’m actually gonna be their friends dead ass. I would probably mostly be friends with Velvette to hook me up on outfits😍

Friendship level: -1000/10

Valentino…HAH YOU WOULD HAVE TO CATCH MY BLACK ASS ACTUALLY DEAD IF IM GONNA CHILL WITH THIS BASTARD 😂 I’m burning his whole studio down in a cool ass pyro tf2 mask. Fuck that bitch, all my homies hate Valentino 🤭

ENEMY LEVEL: 10000000/10🖕🏾

Vox, I’m begging him to try to advance my phone so I can prank call heaven and hell at the same time. I’m using so much evil ass shit🦆 like dead ass ima say “I heard your high school bully is in heaven” to an angel so they would go crazy trying to find their bully lmao. But Vox would hate my ass cause..I’m me? Idk lol

Enemy level: 8.5/10

Velvette, eh I feel like we would be mutuals but not too friendly. More like a hook up just so i can get free outfits and she can get a quick teen model and I can leave with the fit fr 😍 no money, free outfit‼️

Friendship level: 4.5/10

Adam and me..we throwin hands. Full on fist to fist. He probably would try to cheat but nahhh, you gettin kicked in the manhood bitch 😄‼️ but yeah me and him, enemies for life. He’s funny I’ll admit, but be honest having him beside you irl💀

Enemy level: he better keep one eye open.

Sera…yeah she not letting me in heaven lmao 😭 that’s all ima say LMAOO

Friendship level: -0/10

Lute will 100% percent kill me for my mouth 😭. I’d probably say GYATT to her for funnies only to get stab. But I would just be quiet and try to be on her good side lmao

Friendship level: 2/10

Emily would like me but would be the type of person to keep me in check with my mouth and vulgar language as I just chill eating all the food in heaven. She def givin me good tours.

Friendship level: a good 7.5/10

That’s all I have lmao

[holographic-mars]

Thoughts on Shockwave? Any version. Any headcanons? Theories?

And if ya comfortable, thoughts of wavewave? (ie. Shockwave x Soundwave)

I just like Shockwave, my favorite evil guy. Your art is very pretty and your coswave stuff got me more into the ship, and I think your art is hella pretty just wonderful 💖

Uhhhh ya thanks have a good one

Okay so if you squint hard enough and look past the BIG FUCKED UP CRACK ON THE IMAGE

(I drop my phone a lot and at some point I ended up obliterating my camera okay so just.. just ignore that)

I LOVE SHOCKWAVE. Shockwave is one of those characters who I’ve never met one who I don’t like. My favorite is TFP shockwave ofc ofc I love myself a big scary bitch and I love g1 because he’s really stupid and silly and it makes me laugh. I also really like tfa shockwave (don’t ask me about longarm for your own safety)

I love idw’s shockwave backstory, I think watching a character get their life and being stripped away and left with an unrecognizable monster is tragically appealing.

I unfortunately do not have a lot of hcs for shockwave simply because I love so many shockwaves it’s hard for my brain to focus enough to come up with headcanons (HOW STUPID IS THAT SMH)

Wavewave!! I think wavewave is very cute I love the old tired husbands. My favorite is tfp wavewave (again I just. I just really like tfp shockwave. I am weak) but ofc I don’t mind dabbling in a wavewave from any continuity (a mutual of mine has me sick for shattered glass wavewave too… oh I love they)

GOD I JUST LOVE SHOCKWAVE. Anyways yes shockwave is a wonderful evil bastard!!! THANK YOU FOR THE ASK AND IM SO HAPPY YOURE GETTING MORE INTERESTED IN COSWAVE BECAUSE OF MY STUPID COSWAVE ART AND RAMBLINGS❤️❤️🛸🛸🛸❤️ THANK YOUUUU

[amazingmsme]

With a Bow on Top

AN: Happy holidays to all who celebrate, & especially to @tickles-tea I’m your squealing santa! I loved writing this, & I hope you enjoy! Added a lil festive flare to this one. HUGE thanks to @hypahticklish for hosting! & be sure to follow @squealing-santa so you don’t miss out on all the winter fluff!

Miguel sat on the floor of Peter and MJ's living room, half-used rolls of wrapping paper scattered about the floor around him. Peter himself was sitting next to him, completely transfixed on the movie playing "for background noise."

That lying rat bastard.

"You know, I only said I'd bring my universe's Grinch because you promised you wouldn't get distracted and actually help out. Which, you're not doing," Miguel said bluntly. Peter snapped out of his Christmas movie haze to defend himself.

"Sorry, but I've just never seen it before!" He reached down and grabbed one of Mayday's unwrapped gifts. Folding the paper around the box, he finished by sealing it up with a web. Miguel rolled his eyes.

"What? My gift looks way cooler than yours, you're just jealous of my artistic flare," he said smugly.

"Don't get me wrong, it looks great, but how's she gonna open it?" Miguel asked with a smirk. Peter's brow's nearly kissed his hairline as he came to the realization.

"Shit! Well, hopefully by Christmas it'll be weak enough to tear through," he finished with a shrug, slapping a bow on top and sliding it under the tree. As Peter reached for another present, he noticed a scrap piece of ribbon, much too short to fit around a box. Then, his gaze trailed over to his unassuming friend. Perfect.

He picked it up, fluttering it along the back of Miguel's neck. Peter can hear him gasp, and isn't that a lovely sound. He rolls his broad shoulders, arching his back and scrunching his neck ever so slightly. By the time he whipped around to glare at the perpetrator, he had already retracted his hands, hiding them innocently in his pockets.

Miguel looked him up and down before returning to his work. To his credit, Peter waited a few seconds before striking once more. Miguel sucked in a breath through clenched teeth, rubbing his ear against his shoulder to rid himself of the lingering tingles.

"Peter?"

"Hm?"

"I know you're not really working," he deadpanned. Peter sputtered in shock.

"I am too! Look, a perfectly wrapped gift!" he said proudly, holding out Mayday's present. Miguel looked it over, only half amused.

"You're right, a gift. So why not pick up the pace?" he challenged, tossing a Spider-Man themed basketball his way that Peter had planned on giving Miles. Peter caught it with one hand, and Miguel rolled his eyes. Showoff.

"How the hell am I supposed to wrap a ball?"

"I don't know wise guy, you're the one who got it for him." Okay, Peter wasn't sorry for what he was about to do.

He grabbed a marker off the floor and uncapped it with his teeth, making a satisfying pop sound. He barely bit back a snicker as he leaned in, quickly scribbling at the back of his neck. A strangled squeal caught in his throat at he snatched Peter's wrist in one hand, the other rubbing at his neck.

"You think you're funny or somethin'?" he asked with a cold glare.

"Hilarious, actually," Peter corrected with a shrug. Miguel scoffed and let him go.

"Go back to watching the damn movie if you're just gonna bother me," he suggested, grabbing a new tube of wrapping paper to switch things up. Can't have them all looking the same, now can we?

Why not both? Peter thought to himself, an evil grin growing on his face that rivaled the Grinch onscreen. He grabbed two pieces of ribbon discarded on the floor holding them poised to strike between his fingers. Miguel had his back turned, busy wrapping another present and allowing himself to get sucked into the movie. He was practically serving himself up on a silver platter. He really ought to know better by now...

Or maybe he didn't totally mind Peter's shenanigans. But that was a silly, fleeting thought.

Or was it? Only one way to find out.

Ever so quietly, he scooted closer to Miguel, snatching the marker off the floor. The grumpy Spider-Man was sporting a pair of ripped jeans. (He constantly made sure people knew he didn't buy them like that and that he earned those holes and rips.) A particularly large hole left his knee exposed and vulnerable for an attack... Perfect.

He let out a surprised snort, jerking his leg away before a chuckle could follow. They were locked in an intense staring contest, or glaring contest, on Miguel's part. Peter wore an innocent grin, though his next words were anything but.

"What's wrong big guy? Ticklish?"

If it were anyone else, they wouldn't have noticed the way he flinched at the question.

"No."

"Really? You're sticking to that lie?"

Miguel huffed, angrily slapping a bow on top of a present. "It's not a lie."

"Well in that case, I'm not ticklish either," Peter boldly proclaimed. Miguel looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Since we're being honest and all." Miguel grabbed a tube of wrapping paper, bonking Peter on the head in one swift motion before he even knew what happened.

"Don't forget I'm the one helping you," he reminded pointedly.

"Noted," Peter said, grabbing the tube from him and setting it beside MJ's new boots. For good measure, he started wrapping the gift until Miguel turned away. Then it was back to scheming.

He scanned the pile of unwrapped gifts for inspiration, smiling to himself when he spotted a handheld massager he got as a stocking stuffer.

"Hey Miguel?" he elected to ignore the annoyed groan he was met with, "Can you do me a favor?"

"No."

"Perfect! Just tell me if this massager is any good, okay? I don't want it to be too weak or painful, or not have enough settings." He heard Miguel sigh in defeat.

"Whatever."

"Thanks!" He scooted closer to him, turning on the X-shaped massager. At first he decided to play nice and actually work out the tension in his friend's shoulders before setting his plan into motion. He had to rebuild some trust, after all.

"Not bad, I think she'll like this," Miguel hummed, letting his head fall to one side as he began to relax. He was really watching the movie now, allowing himself a moment to enjoy it. It was one of the more heartfelt scenes of the film, and one of his favorites. He found he tended to like the more subtle, meaningful holiday movies rather than the over the top comedies and rom coms that dominated the season.

The last thing he was expecting was a dreadfully ticklish buzzing on his side.

His resolve gave way as he fell onto one side, loud surprised cackles spilling out into the room and drowned out the sound of the TV.

"Peheheter! Quit ihihit!"

"I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you through all that laughing. Which is weird, considering how not ticklish you are," he taunted, running the massager over his abs. Miguel curled in on himself, a giggly groan slipping out in response to the teasing.

"You're hohohorrible, you know thahat?" he asked, weakly swatting at Peter's hands, but to no avail.

Peter snorted. "Maybe to you."

The gentle vibrations traveled from his belly up his sides and to his ribs, causing the deep rumbling chuckles to build up momentum. Encouraged by this, Peter grabbed his wrist and wrestled his arm above his head, pinning it in place.

"Wahait!" he cried, trying to fend him off with his other hand. Peter grinned down at him, the textbook definition of smug.

"Okay. Well? What am I waiting for?" he asked, hovering the tool above his armpit menacingly. Miguel slammed his head against the ground in frustration.

"Gehehet off of me, you asshole!" he demanded through giggles.

"Why should I?" Peter challenged.

He just won't quit, will he? Miguel had no choice but to surrender, if they ever wanted to get done wrapping, that is.

"Fihihine, okay? You wihihin!" he conceded, rolling around on the ground. ,!"

"Wow, okay, so what do I win?" he asked, pulling his hands away to give him a breather. Miguel panted and glared up at him.

"I'm fuckin' ticklish, okay? There, happy?" he growled through residual giggles.

"Over the moon," Peter confirmed. He patted Miguel's chest as he let him go, crawling over to the pile of unwrapped presents. "No more funny business, I promise!" he assured. Miguel only rolled his eyes, a fond smile still lingering on his face.

"Yeah yeah, I'll believe it when I see it."

[egg-emperor]

been seeing people so mad over Sonic Rumble for being cute and silly and I'm like it's just a simple fun little mobile game, not the new permanent direction of the entire series. it's inoffensive chill

and most importantly, why can't the diabolical maniacal middle aged man have evil silly fun with his toys, hater

just look at how happy and mischievous he is, he absolutely thrives with stuff like this

he's so proud and passionate and excited about his dangerously gorgeous creations too!

they hate to see an evil genius having fun with very obviously sinister intentions smh. well I agree with you Ivo 💜

I love how they made this twisted evil bastard enjoy playing with toys I fucking knew it. I love him and all of his interests typically considered "childish". don't listen to the haters Ivo, I'll play with you 🥰

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑆ℎ𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑤 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐵𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝐶ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑠, 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑡 7

Tagging: @bloody-mf-bsc, @augustwithquills

Liked by benbarnes, freddycarter1, sujaya_dasgupta and 6,348,672 others

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: Wonder where they had gotten these... weirdness?👀

P.S: Continue to laugh. For now. Because one, I'm working my ass off here as you all have fun and two, I'm gonna be feasting on your tears later.😌

View 762,563 comments

freddycarter1: benbarnes, will you please tell your wife to cool down?😰😧

User6: NOOOO, MOMMY Y/N DON'T DO THAT TO US

User7: They were just in a silly mood, they didn't mean it right?!

user4: Ever since that interview with "Never Have I Ever", she is giving them absolute hell and bitch behaviour except Ben( he barelly saved his ass) lol djdbjc

user9: I missed that one! Why, what happened? user2: They answered "Never Have I stolen anything from the set?" which they all replied with yes and were cocky about it. Y/N then answered that it wasn't because of them being discreet and stealthy but because she let it happen, and she told them she knew everything they have ever stolen. user7: Didn't that put her in a rough situation tho? user2: Nah, she just flipped her hair and dramatically said "I'm rich, I payed for them." dındekjn user12: I wonder how Ben, who is usually the one being bullied by her, was able to save himself? user4: Simple. When he was asked what else he "stole" without her knowing, he answered with a puppy eye "Y/N." and that was how he saved himself from the couch.

User7: Smooth... Very smooth benbarnes😏 Still, we were there before you tho😒😐

User5: It's just the way they are mommy, look, we are your precious babies right? Please don't make us cry.

User2: putting the people begging Y/N to spare their fragile mental health, I'd like to say how Callahan looks like a God but is a cutie pie in Real life... please step on me.

jacktwolfe: Danielle the Axelotl and Freddy... I don't know what Freddy is

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: Me too boy, me too... I don't want to know how he did that with his mouth

freddycarter1: I have many talents Y/N, not that you know 😎

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: 🫥😶😐😒🤨 Say that to your wife 🍹👎

kittheyounger: 😧😱😨

User9: Ben is such a mood. My life would be in chaos, and the life around me could also be chaotic but as long as I have my tequila and whisky, we are all fine.

User6: Freddy is their New victim lol Love you all💓

User1: I think Danielle is becoming an eagle...

Liked by benbarnes, pascalispunk, tchalamet and 6,921,311 others

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: This man is a lot of things. Husband, father, son, friend... Occasionally cool, but never for too long. He told me to take a photo of him to show how cool he is to our son but instead he giggled at his silly father in his own Darkling costume...🥹💓

View 572,436 comments

user8: With every picture she posts, I gain one year in life. With every photo shadowandbone posts of her, I gain 10 lives.

User2: So precious ❤️

User1: Piercing and charming brown eyes on a man is the sluttiest thing ever.

User5: Y/N, will you ever talk about that first "Lego Date" you and him had that you two became official?

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: Maybe in my YouTube channel, if people really want to know, with Ben's permission ofc, I don't see why not? 😊

User3: Y/N the Concent Queen 🙏

User2: Guys, let's not traumatise Ben again with our thirsty comments about him being a real dilf🤣

User13: Darkling: evil incarnate with every possible War crime, perhaps a groomer, manipulative bastard who is obssessed over power... Meanwhile Ben: Babygirlified 42 years old man who simps for his wife and would commit war crimes FOR her and their son and is "the twit with the portrait"

User5: nOoo you didn't just bring Dorian into this djskdjjs

User13: Someone had to

User6: May the lord save us, how were you able to shoot those photos with him so close to you Y/N?

User12: I'd have folded easily

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: A little bit of heart attack, swooning for my husband and then definetly folding, everything was fine. It's easy really 🙃😊

benbarnes: Stop saying those things just like that 😊☺️🤭

User14: Ben is melting hard~😏😋

User15: If this doesn't end up with her pregnant again, I don't know what will. Maybe a girl comes this time sjsjsj

User15: Okay, guessing the little Barnes looks like the exact copy of his dad, the kid will have immaculate looks coming from both his dad and momma. LOOK HOW GORGEOUS THEY ARE?!🥹 *crying intensifies ehiel holding the family picture of them in my hands delicately*

pascalispunk: Want to see my little champ and his reaction as well!

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: Just sent you the video!

User7: Ben lost to little Barnes today, the baby ADORES his momma🥹

amita_suman: He looses every time anyways🍷😎

User6: Y/N is winning in everything she does, this is her Barbie world💯

benbarnes: My little girl will definetly think of me cool, just so you wait for a few years,love.🙃😤

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: And what makes you say we are having a girl in the future?? Maybe it will be another boy who adores me???

Liked by freddycarter1, calahan.skogman, emilia_clarke, emmaroberts and 6,893,561 others

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: Another day, another chaotic moment!

1.The fuck hoe? Leave my precious camera alone, do you know how expensive is that? I can give you a toy one, just please go and threaten someone with that cane of yours.

2. I'd like to say, seeing a huge man absolutely melt at the sight of these cuties were pretty funny! Don't worry though, we adopted them!

View 652,412 comments

User2: Freddy, Y/N already pays for enough, please stay away from the cameras. Those shits are expensive as fuck!

User9: Have a lovely day you two!

User12: Guys, I just came back from her YT video, and the fact that Y/N fucking Y/L/N-Barnes literally went and visited every single one of the cast members, who are already the biggest simp possible for her and almost fainted when they saw her before their door, to thank them personally for how FUCKING amazing they are and how much of a GOD TIER acting they did is just... Ma'am you shouldn't be THAT FUCKING AWESOME❤️💓

User2: she brought gifts for them too! But her explanation is way funny: I brought something edible to all of them because come on, what am I gonna do with flowers? Eat them like a cow? 😒😉😋😁( her face expressions btw)

User5: and with the straightest face possible to mankind djskdjjeks

User4: Thinking about the fact that we're living at the same time as Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes, Ben Barnes, Amita Suman, Jessie Mei Li, Kit Young, Freddy Carter, Patrick Gibson, Archie Renaux, Daisy Head, Danielle Gallighan, Calahan Skogman, Jack Wolfe and everyone else in the cast is... What a fucking Era to live Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes liked

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: Okay first of all, I'm impressed by your sheer dedication of writing every single name... And thank you for being so sweet, we are lucky to have fans like you as well! ❤️

User12: Y/N, the mother of us all, the best decision you had ever made was choosing Freddy Carter as Kaz FUCKING Brekker and Ben as Darkling beyond doubt... We can't thank you enough 🙌🫶

User3: Emma Roberts liked her post... Does that mean the new project is AHS? 👀

User14: That would literally top her(near) every project

User15: Someone please include her in a new emoji game, thirst trap video, interview whatever! I NEED MOMMY Y/N AND HER REACTIONS ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM

user6: Unrelated but I want to know what was the hardest scene to film for her?

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: Anything with that damn goat. It kept either distracting us, or head butted someone. Mostly Kit tho

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Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: To anyone who calls this cast "A happy and cute family"... I'd like to point out that these six are the worst of them, including yes my own husband.

1. Those little shits after Archie pointed out me tripping on my own feet and my husband daring to laugh( I feel pretty betrayed because why are you cackling amita_suman and jessie_mei_li?)

2. Them, finally able to take a serious photo because damn it, I need to have a decent photo to give to the press! Poor photographers were begging me to keep them serious long enough 🤣😄

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User5: We are now at a time when all the women like Y/N had been at least once in their lives...

User8: Wanting to have some appreciation because everyone has been doing exactly the opposire even if we women work hard ASF and even harder than most people?🤨

User5: That too, but no. Homicide. And murder. 😈👹😊

User7: These people + Y/N could break me in half and I'd say thank you mommy/daddy

User5: their laughs are so precious... even if It's at poor Y/N 😁

blakelively: Your husband is there and you are feeling betrayed because of the girls laughing?

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: I'm used to him making fun of me since... I'm the weird one in this marriage lol But not Amita and Jessie, we are weird together, why did you laugh at me? 😭🥲

User3: Is that the way we treat her? Is this what her children(us) and little Barnes wants?🤨

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes: I agree luvie... I was thinking about giving him the couch punishment while my boy sleeps with me.

User2: Mommy Y/N please stoo working too much! Your health matter more and you should spend time with your family and friends!

User13: Y/N, we are grateful you taught Ben the Emoji Language really. Thanks to you, he finally understands the young fans like us and win games 🙃