#I mean like he described the exact thing new alters experience with looking around and wondering where the fuck they are

[thethingything]

today's Ant System nonsense is: waking up, going downstairs, and almost immeduately having to explain to our mum that her boyfriend is probably a system. we've been awake for 3 hours and most of that has been spent describing system experiences while our mum goes "oh my god he experiences that constantly" or "that explains so many things"

[elia-de-silentio]

Recap on the Book (+ a theory on Atsushi)

The Book is an element that received little attention compared to the character drama in Bungo Stray Dogs, but it's actually the element instigating it, as the thing almost everyone desires. This time, I want to make a recap on it, and take a look on an interesting theory regarding the connection between it and Atsushi.

The first one to mention it is Fitzgerald. He describes it as pretty much Aladdin's lamp from the original fairy tale: something to make all wishes come true, in his case the resurrection of his daughter. Appearently, Atsushi is the 'guidepost' to the Book, and that's why there was such an hefty bounty on him at the start of the series. Whatever that means, we are all still waiting to know.

It also mentions that it is 'impervious to fire and all abilities'.

But Fitzgerald was in cahoots with two other amiable fellows who were after the same thing: Fyodor Dostoevsky and Agatha Christie. While the latter has not appeared since except for Dead Apple, the former has given us new infos on the prized Book.

He too wants to use the Book, but in his case, the goal is a little more lofty: he wants to recreate the world, one without the 'sin' of ability users. So, the Book's powers aren't limited to just bring back the dead, they really have a reality-altering scale.

(translation by @akai-koutei)

At the start of the Decay of Angels arc, Chief Taneda gives Ranpo a few more informations about our object of interest.

It is in the hands of the government, and it has been studied, via a single page extracted from it, that holds the same power as the whole Book (like a Death Note).

Moreover, we find the first limitation to the power: 'the written content must conform to the rules of karma'. In other words - and we're going deliciously meta here - it must have narrative consistency, unlike the 'real world' in which accidents of any kind and without any meaning happen all the time. Of course it does! If a book had inconsistent plot development and characterization, wouldn't we all be complaining about bad writing?

Lastly, it's suggested that it was created by an ability user, which set its rules to prevent excessive and senseless destruction.

This rule begs the question - do Fitzgerald or Fyodor know about it? 'A girl suddenly springs back to life' doesn't have much narrative consistence, and neither 'all Ability users suddenly vanish'. A way to work around this limit would be rewrite history itself: Fitzgerald's daughter never died/Abilities never existed in the first place. It would erase the timeline in which these events would be impossible, and create another in which they have consistency.

This would also be the reason for the initial plan of the Decay of Angels, using the page to depict the ADA as terrorists ... but before that, they had to 'create' their crimes by killing relevant people that had spoken against the Agency, giving them plausible actions and motives.

It also fits with the Sky Casino: a building that was woven back in time with a complete backstory, instead of just popping out from nothingness. Still, this also show us that there's no need for the details to be absolutely accurate: Dazai managed to figure out that the building had been written from the Book because the 'top secret' details of its creation didn't exist in the first place. Still, these details are ones that do not 'disturb' the flow of a story: it's a freaking flying casino, who is going to think about the funds? Just enjoy the story!

But then we find an outstanding exception: Sigma. A whole human being brought into existence by the Book, without any past that he can remember. He appeared three years ago, in a desert, with only the clothes on his back and a train ticket. No backstory from him.

How was this possible? It's not very narratively coherent, a person popping into existence.

Well, we must consider that we know only what Fyodor says about it. He might be withholding information from Dazai and the audience, or even lying to confuse his opponent; or maybe he doesn't know the answer himself. He recruited Sigma, likely after hearing about his Ability, but did not create him personally.

Maybe Sigma's 'parent' actually did have a backstory and purpose planned for his 'character', but for some reason, they weren't received. Or maybe they knew some trick to circumvent the limitations of the Book. Maybe the government was experimenting with it, and for some reason someone was like 'hey, let's see if we can make a person pop out in the desert, without anyone being around to check if it happens or take care of the eventual human being!'.

Yeah ... this part is rather confusing. I look forward to an explaination on Sigma's origins.

The last time that the rules of the Book are mentioned, is to show us a way to circumvent them. Fyodor had written that 'no police officer will believe the Agency's innocence' ... but he didn't factor Tachihara in. As a member of the Hunting Dogs, he is a police officer; but during his infiltration of the Mafia, he acquired this second identity. He is an officer, and at the same time, he is not. As soon as he inquires other mafiosi on the matter, he becomes clear to him the ADA's guiltlessness, in which he couldn't believe when talking with the othe Hunting Dogs.

And Ranpo in later chapters used a similar strategy, bringing his proofs to a group of journalists to make the masses think; and in turn, this divided the police between those who still obeyed the rule and those who adopted a new perspective.

The human ability to put ourselves in other points of view is the uncontrollable variable that can break the Book's powers.

(By the way, I wonder if that was actually Fyodor's plan. He seems too smart and well-informed to not take this possibility into consideration. Considering that the clashes among the police resulted in riots and chaos; and he commented earlier, talking to himself, that he didn't create the 'perfect' plan his colleagues required because that would be boring ... maybe this is his own plan to undermine Fukuchi's power and get him out of his way, to be the one who will actually puts his hands on the Book?)

After that, an interesting comment was made: the Decay of Angels planned to use the Book 'the next full moon'. It's uncertain if it's because it can only be used in this time frame, or if it can be just be found (in both cases, the Book has another rule that limits its use)

The last time any piece of the Book made an appearence, it was with Fukuchi dangling the famous page, and the possibility of rewriting it, in front of Atsushi and Akutagawa; but that was also the first sound defeat for the Shin Soukoku. Fukuchi still has the page, and now our hopes reside in Tachihara, currently about to face him.

Then, there is supplementary material: the BEAST AU. I haven't read the light novel or manga, so any information I can provide is from the wiki and @looking-for-stray-dogs 's summary.

In this AU, Dazai has managed to obtain the Book, but thanks to his Ability, he retains his memories even in different universes. But didn't Fitzgerald say that the Book is immune to all Abilities? Or only those which try to destroy it?

Still, Dazai used the Book to create his own pet universe - kind of like Fyodor wants to do, but with a much more personal goal: creating a universe in which Odasaku lives. This appearently can happen only if he never becomes Dazai's friend.

However, the definition of 'make what is written in it into reality' is not exact: it is more like a 'container' for every possible universe in existence, and what is written in the pages will not 'rewrite reality', but 'call forth the universe in which it happens'.

Think of it like Michelangelo's ideas about sculpting: the statue is already in the block of stone, the artist merely brings it out.

Beast!Dazai then mentions another clause: if three or more people know the truth about a world created by the Book, the stability of said world gets compromised, and it gets higher possibilities of ceasing to exist. Which is pretty much what is happening in the canon manga.

And this is all we know insofar. Is it enough to make theories? Of course! Anything is enough to make theories!

One I've seen circulating, and that I really like, is 'Atsushi is a creation of the Book'.

Supporting it:

• Atsushi is considered so valuable because he is a 'guidepost' to the Book; it would actually make sense that someone created by the Book mantained some connection to it.

Contradicting it:

• There already is someone who was for sure created by the Book: Sigma. And he is already in the Decay of Angels: if all sentient beings created by the Book mantained a connection to it, wouldn't that mean that they don't need Atsushi? Instead, not only they are still looking for tiger boy, but Sigma needed to threaten and use his Ability on Taneda to find out just where one page was.

Solution: maybe Atsushi was specifically written to be a 'tracker' for the Book, while Sigma wasn't?

Supporting it:

• Atsushi doesn't have any certified past, someone threw him on the streets without giving him anything that could lead back to a birth family. And appearently, nobody noticed someone had a suddenly missing child, or tried to investigate on the abandonment of a toddler.

Contradicting it:

• Who the hell creates a supernatural being that can lead to an even more supernatural book and then throws him in the trash?!

Solution: who the hell creates a supernatural being who can exchange informations and throws him in the desert?! Whatever the keeper of the Book is on, it can't be legal, or even well-cut for the matter.

More seriously, we are told that Atsushi's parents abandoned him, but it was the Headmaster that said it, and he's not the most reliable guy around. Atsushi not only does not have any proof for that, but he also has a faulty memory due to trauma: if he forgot Shibusawa, what else could he have forgotten?

Supporting it:

• The Book can appearently be used - or maybe retrieved, the phrasing is a bit ambiguous on that - under the full moon. Atsushi's Ability is called 'Beast Beneath the Moonlight', and he himself is called a 'weretiger', derivated from 'werewolf', a creature that has a traditional connection to the full moon.

Contradicting it:

• It might be a coincidence?

Supporting it:

• Shibusawa took a very specific interest in him, even going to the point of torturing him to make the 'Beast under the Moonlight' manifest

Contradicting it:

• Shibusawa was obsessed in finding the 'ultimate ability'. The fact that appearently Atsushi has it does not mean that it is related to the Book, or even that it is an objective statement.

Supporting it:

• Fyodor took a very specific interest in him. He was the one who directed Shibusawa to him, as far as six years ago, when Atsushi likely hadn't manifested his Ability. So, how did this rat, who is very interested in the Book and probably spent a lot of time finding ways to get it, know about him?

Contradicting it:

• Dazai appearently knows nothing about it. Considering how smart and careful he is, it would be expected that he did his research on why everyone was so fixated on the Agency's newest recruit. Instead, he looked genuinely shocked when he's told about Sigma's birth. So, whatever Atsushi's connection to the Book is, it's not of that kind. Moreover, Fyodor hasn't had a single interaction with Atsushi insofar. Wouldn't be more logical trying to somehow secure his willing cooperation if he needs it? From his side, Atsushi doesn't seem to know how he looks like (when he thinks about him, the face is always obscured), nor he acts like he vaguely recognize the name before - something that instead happened with Shibusawa

Possible solution: maybe Dazai isn't God the All-Knowing for once in this manga?! Or maybe he was lying to keep a margin of advantage. And Fyodor rarely acts in a very direct way, usually putting other people and convoluted plans between himself and anyone who could be involved. Sending Shibusawa to Atsushi might have been such a case.

Contradicting it:

• Fukuchi has no problem attacking Atsushi. The whole Decay of Angels's plan put the life of Tiger Boy in danger multiple times. An odd thing to do, if they goal is something that can be reached only through him.

Possible solution: they know he has regenerative abilities on a nearly Koro-sensei level? I admit, I'm not very sure on this point.

All in all, I think it's a very plausible theory. And do we want to talk about the drama character development it would bring about? Atsushi already questions his right to live, how would knowing that he had been created for some purpose decided by someone else impact his worldview?

In conclusion, I think that the Book is a very interesting, mysterious element, and I really look forward to see if it will be used, by whom, and why Atsushi seems so connected to it.

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Prove Me Wrong

Summary: She can trust you, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

Warning: 18+ Mental Health, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, Smut

Chapter 2

****** 

Coffee. You use to drink it every morning but that became a bad combination with the wave of emotions you took on. In which you switched to tea. It doesn’t have the exact same effect as the coffee did but it worked perfectly in it’s own way.

Pouring the hot water on the teabag causes a swirl of transparent brown to fill the mug. The steam that rises warms your hand and you release a sigh.

Being distracted means you get startled when dishes start clattering behind you. You jump, spinning around to see who came into the kitchen without you noticing. Only to instantly relax when you see Steve and Rhodey.

“Hey guys.” You smile and wave.

Both men give you a smile and say good morning. 

A small conversation breaks out about some threat over in San Diego. Not knowing anything about it, and it being none of your business, you just fix your tea and a bagel while they chat. And when they’re done Steve is more than willing to get his session started.

Your last session with the man ended with him heartbreakingly sad. The topic of Peggy arising and being addressed.

He’d admitted to you that he considered going back. After Thanos, when he had the stones, he considered staying in the past to be with her. 

When you asked why he didn’t, he told you a number of things. Two important ones making the decision for him. One, when he found her, she was on a date with a man who would later become her husband. And two, despite his regrets over the past, he had things waiting for him in the future/present.

He had built friendships with Tony, Natasha, and Sam. And he had Bucky, his best friend since the beginning of time, or at least Steve’s time.

During this session you ask him how it felt to move on, not just from his second chance with Peggy but even before that, when he woke up from being frozen.

He’d started to tell you how hard it was and how he still doesn’t think he has. But he’s interrupted when his phone rings.

Much to your dismays, he has a mission he’s been called on and has to leave.

Before he walks out you stop him,“ you want some happy?” You seriously ask with a joking smile.

That’s how you’d described your powers to him, after he didn’t get the broader description the second time. You told him that you could take away his hurt and pain and give him happy.

Steve shakes his head,“ I’m good actually. Thanks though.”

Usually, with the busy schedules and occupied minds of the team, you have to go in search for your next patient. With Bucky you don’t. In fact you find him waiting just down the hall when you step outside your office.

Even though he wasn’t eager to be sharing his memories and feelings with you, he always made it a point to show up. You appreciated it.

You wave him over and he’s quick to walk down the hall. Bucky steps in behind you and sits on the couch as you shut the door. Despite the comfortability of the furniture he sits up straight, hands rubbing his knees.

When he glances up at you, you smile comfortingly. You sit in your chair, crossing your ankles as you hold on to your fresh cup of tea.

Like always, the super soldier remains nervously silent. It was a few sessions ago that you came to understand why. He isn’t nervous because of you, it’s the idea that he should know what he’s feeling and felt.

The man hasn’t processed an emotion properly in decades only to just recently be introduced to the concept of explaining his emotions. Plus the added anxiety of letting it all in.

Knowing he won’t be the first to speak you ask him,“ you want anything to eat or drink?” 

He’s quick to shake his head. Then looks directly in your eyes, for the first time today,“ do you, um, have any cracker jacks?” 

“I do actually, they’re in the cabinet to the left of the mini fridge.” 

After he’s gotten two boxes, he turns away, before grabbing a bottle of water and then going to sit. 

If it weren’t for Steve you wouldn’t have had any. The man said it reminded him of the “good old days,” getting cracker jacks when he went to see baseball games. Steve usually eats his with a Coke.

“Me and Steve use to buy a bunch of these and sneak them into baseball games. They were always cheaper at stores than the stadium.” 

A fond, nostalgic, smirk plays on his lips and you smile as well.

“Are you also a Dodgers fan? Steve spent our whole first session talking about them.”

When he chuckles you feel good about yourself and focus on his answer.

He nods,“ yeah, I like the Dodgers, but I think the Cubs are better. I used to like the Yankees simply out of loyalty to New York.”

“Do you not like the Yankees anymore?”

A sigh falls from his lips,“ no. They’re not the same. Then again, nothing else is either.” Before you can ask anything else he continues.“ I didn’t really know how to feel about missing decades of time. For a while I just pushed it aside, especially since I didn’t remember anything.”

His long pause makes you a little anxious. He’d started to open up without much from you and you didn’t want that to stop, you couldn’t help if he chose not to continue.

You ask,“ what changed?”

“Steve.” It’s a quick answer. Obviously he’s given this particular topic some thought.“ After my memories started to come back I realized I wasn’t alone in being so out of place. Steve missed just as much time as me and after I got better, after Thanos, it was nice to have someone to remember with.” 

Throughout the session you let him do most of the talking. Every so often he starts to shut down so you prompt him with an easy to answer question that seems to guide him into opening up even further.

By the time it ends, you’re incredibly happy with the progress. Seeing Bucky’s troubled and stressed expression drives you to asking him if he’d like you to take it away.

He was hesitant at first, you know it’s because of his experience with mind altering tricks. You assure him that it’s nothing like that. You don’t take his memories or thoughts away, essentially you pull everything he has to be happy about to the forefront.

Your powers aren’t permanent on anyone but it helps.

The man accepts and while he doesn’t leave with a bubbly smile on his face like Peter does, you can see that his eyes are lighter.

“Thanks for the chat Doc.” He smirks playfully when he mentions your title.“ And thanks for being patient with me.”

You shrug,“ thanks for letting me.”

After he’s left, you sit back down and finish off your tea. 

According to you schedule, your next patient should be Natasha, but that hasn’t been a thing for months.

You can’t help but wonder if it was something you’d done that made her not want to even try. Thinking about it, you’d done nothing but be kind to the woman, offering your help at first but then just telling her you would only listen if that’s what she wanted. Each attempt at reaching out failed miserably with the woman’s emotionless denial. 

One long glance at her name written in your notebook lit something in you and you knew you couldn’t just give up on her.

******

Natasha moves her body effortlessly. 

She uses attack combinations and take down moves that at, one point she thought was too hard to execute, without even thinking.

Which is good. If she, even for a second, allowed too many of her thoughts to break through she’d never stop. She’d become distracted and give her opponent too big a shot to take her down.

If she focuses on anything but doing these moves perfectly she’d fail and she can’t have that.

Yet another groan from the person underneath her causes a smirk to form on her lips. 

“Jesus Nat, we’re sparring you’re not trying to kill me.” 

She lets his wrist go and rolls off his back before offering him a hand.“ I think your retirement is setting in Barton.” She teases.

Rolling his eyes, he rubs his wrist,“ what? I’m in the best shape of my life.” The man mockingly pulls a karate pose.

Natasha laughs, making Clint smile widely. 

With him knowing her so well, it’s good to see the woman happy. Still he hears the heaviness in the laugh and knows that there may always be something holding her back from being genuinely, completely happy.

Part of him wonders if talking about everything would help her. He knows it helps him and he doesn’t miss the light air that’s seemed to encompass his other teammates lately.

Clint formed a greater appreciation for you over that fact. It was about time the team took a shot at healing themselves instead of ignoring their issues to fix the world’s. 

He wasn’t pleased, and still isn’t, to see his best friend so opposed to the help. Natasha is strong but she’s still human and holding everything in the way she does isn’t healthy. 

“Alright,” with yet another groan, he steps off the mats,“ I need to get home or I won’t have a good spot for movie night.” 

He salutes to Natasha’s wave, figuring the woman is going to be in the gym for a while. 

The door almost slams into him with the force that it’s thrown open. Stepping back, he just barely avoids getting hurt.

You stand on the other side, your determined expression slipping to one of shock when you realized you might’ve hit him.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t know you were right there, are you okay?” You rush out.

Chuckling, he nods,“ all good, didn’t even graze me. What’s got you in such a rush?”

As if remembering why you’re there, you go back to being determined.“ Is Miss Romanoff in here?”

“Uh, yeah, she’s over on the mats.”

Nodding with a smile, you march past him further into the gym. 

Clint presses himself against the wall with every intent to listen in, whether Natasha knows he’s there or not. 

The woman is already looking at you when you step into view, trained eyes watching your every move as you approach. An eyebrow quirking in question when you stop at the edge of the mats.

“You didn’t show to our session Miss Romanoff.” 

She’d never heard someone’s tone be equally as warm as it is accusatory. 

She makes no effort to reply.

Moving forward, you step on to the mat, her eyes flickering to your shoe covered feet, then back up to your eyes to see how close you are now. Far enough away to not be overstepping any boundaries but close enough for her to see the fire in your eyes.

Admittedly Natasha is fascinated with seeing the emotion in your eyes. Ever since you got here she’d seen nothing but your perky, optimistic, “everything is going to be alright” attitude. Like this, she feels as though she’s seeing a new, slightly intriguing side to you.

“I know exactly what game you’re playing Natasha,” the way you say her name nearly makes her shiver. She’s not intimidated, but she could be.“ I’m sure you sized me up and categorized me as a certain type of person the second I got here but I can tell you now you were wrong.”

Her head tilts in the slightest, amusement flickering through her eyes. 

You continue,“ I am not going to accept you giving up on yourself.” That right there erases the amusement. Her expression hardens.“ I don’t know anything about you but the fact that you actively avoiding coming to see me is very telling.”

For the first time, since maybe your third day here, Natasha speaks to you. And you’d be lying if you said her voice isn’t as sexy as it is scary.

“Whatever you think you’ve figured out, you haven’t. And this power move that you’re trying to pull isn’t going to work.” Despite her control over her words you feel the emotions pouring from her statement.

The agitation radiates off her and sets your powers alight, almost enough to make you back off. Until you feel it. The smallest, microscopic, bit of fear. It’s buried behind her annoyance with you, and a mountain of other things, but you feel it.

“This isn’t a power move Miss Romanoff. This is me letting you know I’m not giving up on you. I don’t know what it’ll take to get you to come to your sessions but I’m going to try everything I can until it happens.” She’s glaring now but that fear hasn’t left.“ Tony gave me your very detailed file,” she stiffens,“ but I didn’t read it.” Que her surprise.

Her frown this time is a mix of curiosity and annoyance.

“When you come to see me I want you to be comfortable. I don’t want you to think I see you as whoever is on those papers. You will simply be Natasha Romanoff and I will accept whatever you’re willing to give.” You smile softly at the woman and step away.“ I’ll schedule you to come see me on Friday’s, that day is free for me so I will have more than enough time to chat. And you can try avoiding but I will come find you.”

Not leaving even an inch of room to argue, you turn and leave, giving Clint a little goodbye on the way.

It’s quiet for a moment. Natasha and Clint both processing what just happened. Clint gets it first and steps around the corner to look at his best friend.

“I didn’t want to push you into seeing her but after that,” he puffs out some air,“ I think it would be really good for you to go see her. She obviously cares, if that whole thing was to go based off of. She just wants to help, at least let her try.”

With one final smile, he leaves.

Standing on the mats, Natasha thinks. 

You were right. She did categorize you as the type of person who would just accept that she wasn’t coming. And if what you just did was any evidence, she was wrong.

******

taglist: @username23345 @muffliat-o @nat-km-mh 

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Victor’s R&S - So-called Disparity (Eng Translation)

🍒This R&S (“所谓差距”) will not be released in EN or any server as it’s one of the cancelled R&S which came with the Dream Heart Lake gacha event!🍒

This is a full translation, so you can follow along with the narrator if you want to!

Summary: Goldman recognises that the gap between him and Victor isn't actually that large - it simply spans the Amazon River.

Cancelled Victor R&S:

> flashback 

> six out of seventeen

> paradise on earth

[ Chapter 1 ]

Goldman entered that university as the third highest scorer in his entire province. Before that, he always felt like students who jumped off buildings in high school were mentally weak, and were making a fuss out of nothing. It was only after entering university that he knew how blessed he was to be a frog in the well.

Goldman has always had a pretty good mentality. A normal person would require a semester to get used to the psychological gap of being a big fish in a small pond instead of a small fish in a large pond. However, Goldman only needed two weeks - to be more exact, thirteen days, to adjust. 

In his own words, it was something like this: “There is sky above the tallest mountain, and there is land under the deepest sea. This is very normal. I’ll never do something which puts me at a loss like jumping off a building. I, Goldman, have an eighty year old mother and an eighteen year old girlfriend--” before he could finish speaking, the neighbouring scholar snatched the reins of the conversation.

“I couldn’t tell at all. Just because you say something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Show me a photograph!” The air in the surroundings of the dormitory, which was originally full of pretension, was altered by Goldman’s words.

In a sense, Goldman had a talent for being a “coordinator”.

The first time he heard of the name “Victor”, Goldman had experienced life as a university student for a month.

“Do you know the guy from 207? The one from the economics department... I can’t remember his name right now, but he’s the one who dresses very stylishly and always has a group of ladies running behind him.”

“Ah, I’ve seen that guy before. I think his surname is Gu. What about it?”

Goldman continued cutting voting slips for the student union, but his ears had long since developed a mind of their own, eavesdropping on the two people engaging in idle conversation. 

“He seems to have invested in a business run by a few third year students, and they even promised to return him thrice the principal amount in a month.”

“It’s obviously a trap.”

“Let me finish. I originally thought so too, but that guy actually bought a new car!”

“Could his family be wealthy to begin with? Come to think of it, being able to buy a car means the amount he invested as a principal sum must have been quite a lot.”

“Who knows. Anyway, he has been advertising for those third year students recently.”

“Are you stirred?”

“I am, but it was a recruitment for an intern assistant. The opportunity to earn thrice the amount is gone, tch tch tch.”

“If you think about it, If we could learn how to earn thrice the principal amount, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to be an intern.”

“It’s not rare to see such businesses come to a premature end halfway. What if you end up wasting your time if you can’t prove that you did an internship there?”

“That’s true. Also, I’m not even certain what it is they do... it feels a little weird and scary.”

The speaker didn't mean it, but the listener heard it. That night, Goldman knocked on the 207 dormitory, and heard the name “Victor” from the man whose surname was Gu.

Even though he just experienced the blow of seeing a Gold Olympiad medal in the room of this scholar, Goldman was not to be trifled with. If other people didn’t dare to test the waters, he won’t be the first one to stupidly try.

Which is why in the following year, Goldman adopted a wait-and-see attitude. 

-

[ Chapter 2 ]

Goldman interacted with Victor in person in his sophomore year, after he thought to look for an internship.

At that time, the newly established company which was still in its incubation stage was not Goldman’s first choice. But as a full-time sophomore, it was difficult to guarantee the prerequisite GPA in order to receive an offer from the top 500 companies. Which is why decided to try knocking on the doors of the new company.

At first, what went through Goldman’s mind was - if this company was unable to develop, he’d just go somewhere else. After all, there was still time to find other internships.

In the end, halfway through the interview, Goldman realised that the issue wasn’t whether he wanted to join the company, but whether it was willing to give him a fighting chance. Those who fluently recited their prepared lines and rehearsed repeatedly said that they failed to be accepted into the small company called “LFG”.

In actuality, Goldman’s self-introduction was cut short not even after thirty seconds, by a sharp-eyed man with short black hair.

“I only have one question. What will you do?”, with an emphasis on the word “you”.

Goldman noticed that when the young interviewer asked this question, the other interviewer had a hand to his forehead.

“Huh?”

In just two seconds, Goldman was left dumbfounded. However, as a student leader from the student union for such a long time, he reacted quickly after a slight pause, and started talking grandiloquently about his experience of attracting financial support for businesses.

This was an experience Goldman felt proud of and thought could prove his capabilities, which was why he was full of confidence as he talked about it. 

He didn’t expect that... it wouldn’t be enough to satisfy the interviewer, who, at a glance, looked like he wasn’t good to get along with.

“I’m asking what you, Goldman, will do.” It wasn’t even a question this time. Separated across the table, Goldman could easily sense the other party’s brimming impatience.

“Ah, Goldman, don’t be anxious. What Victor means is that if you weren’t endorsed by the school, do you think that company would still support you? And what is the reason for that?”

Thanks to the other interviewer, Goldman’s interview could continue. 

When Goldman left the company, whatever impression he had of that “saviour” was merely an outline - his short hair was dyed brown, and he looked pretty easy to get along with. Apart from that... he couldn't remember anything.

The thing he remembered was that sharp gaze, that impatient tone, and that emphasis on “you”.

Oh, so that’s Victor. 

Always observant, one moment didn’t slip past Goldman: the interviewer with the genial expression looked at the CV on the desk before calling his name. 

But Victor didn’t.

On hindsight, Goldman wasn’t sure how he managed to pass the interview. Perhaps it was because Victor chose based on impressions?

Just like the moment he met Victor in person - even though he was stunned by Victor’s aura, there was a sense of expectancy and admiration in his heart. 

Vice versa - Did Victor also experience something back then - a shred of “good feeling” which explained why he allowed Goldman to pass the interview?

But Goldman would never have the courage to verify the answer to this question with Victor.

Even more so when the reputation of LFG grew, causing Goldman’s courage, which wasn’t very large to begin with, to shrink even further.

-

[ Chapter 3 ]

In the year of his graduation, Goldman had a few choices:

One - pursue postgraduate studies in his major as the top of his class. Two - accept one of the offers from the world’s top 500 firms. Three - continue staying in LFG and working together with Victor.

Goldman eliminated the first option - he was in no mood for further studies. Back then, the reason why he entered the country’s top university was to find a good job in the future. Now, since he already had the second option in front of him, doing a postgraduate wouldn’t mean anything to him. 

Goldman had a long struggle between the second and third options. He even specially called his parents in his hometown to seek their opinions.

“Being a trainee is essentially meant to train me to become part of the management in the future. If I go to that company, I just have to work hard and one day, I’ll make it big.”

“Mm, and a large platform means a stable job, and a broadened view. As for the salary... it’s around this amount at the start.”

“If I stay at my current company? I’d probably continue getting scolded by my boss every day. Although the prospects aren’t bad, it might close down anytime.”

“Boss? Oh, actually, he’s a senior who’s older than me by two years. I’ve interacted with him for two years, and he’s all right, just that his temper is a little bad.”

“How do I have a bad temper? Mum, you have no idea that compared to him, your son is piteous little sheep who hasn’t even learned how to hurt someone!”

“And I wasn’t mistreated or bullied. Your son’s skin is tough like iron! It’s not like you don’t know it. Also, I'm not the only one who gets scolded by him. If he only scolds me or can’t tolerate me, why would I follow him? Your son isn’t that silly.”

“Anyway... I feel that following him has enabled me to learn quite a lot of things. I’ve also thought about it - to use my youth to give it a try, and if I really can’t do it, I’ll find another job.”

“My classmates from different fields? They’re either inheriting a business, or going overseas for advanced studies, and can’t give me any advice at all.”

“I’ve been so worried these two days. Mum, which one should I pick?”

Talking garrulously on the phone, Goldman was best described as “a baffled person on the scene.”

[Note] The first part of an idiom is used here - “当局者迷，旁观者清”, which loosely translates to “The person at the scene is baffled, but the onlooker sees clearly. It refers to how outsiders tend to have a better perspective on matters.

He was completely unaware that he had already made an important decision during his discussion with his mother. 

-

[ Chapter 4 ]

Although Goldman had indeed made a decision after graduation that only a hot-blooded youth would, he wasn’t the type of person to get frenetically excited over something.

As a man, he even allowed himself to wallow in a gloomy mood for a few days each month. This “dejection every month” became all the more inevitable when his understanding of Victor gradually deepened.

At the very beginning, he wanted to learn things from Victor, and from LFG. Honestly speaking, Victor did teach him how to get multiple returns on a principal sum in a short period of time, and he was also exposed to the many rules of the market. But there were still many things that he just couldn’t get a hold of no matter how hard he tried. 

For example, strategising. For example, structuring.

The gap between himself and Victor... how should he put it, it wasn’t that large - it simply spanned the Amazon River. Even though the gap wasn’t as frightening as the Mariana Trench, it was still a distance that he couldn’t cross through sheer hard work. 

How did the proverb go? All roads lead to Rome, but some people were born in Rome. Whether it was Victor’s thinking or his vision, these were things Goldman couldn’t learn.

Sometimes, he felt discouraged when thinking about it. Despite being born into a good life and having handsome features, Victor was still so hardworking. In that case, was there even a point for a normal person like Goldman to work hard?

On one particular day, when he was harbouring such a dejected feeling, he accidentally spilt coffee outside Victor’s office. To make matters worse, Victor was sitting in the office, witnessing the scene of the coffee being overturned.

Goldman was certain that he would get chewed out by Victor: Just like the time when he made a mistake and missed an underselling opportunity, had an incorrect financial leverage, and pasted wrong labels on documents, etc...

Or maybe he’d hear a clicking of the tongue, or receive a glare. But he never expected that this time, Victor’s response only comprised of four words: To err is human.

“Boss, are you talking to me?” At that time, Victor was not yet LFG’s CEO. 

“...who else? Would I be talking to myself?”

Oh, it’s that familiar tone and familiar taunting, there’s nothing wrong - that was what the junior thought.

“Boss, are you in an especially good mood today?” At that time, Goldman was not yet as overcautious as he is.

“...I guess so.” A pause followed. When the senior opened his mouth again, it was uncertain whether it was an invitation or not. “The company going public is something that is more or less done discussing. When the time comes, I’ll need a CEO assistant.”

Such a light tone caused both parties to involuntary think of what happened during the interview a few years ago.

“...if you do that again.” his gaze was cast towards the mess on the floor. Victor’s tone was as calm as always. “I’ll do an external recruitment.”

Only after three seconds did Goldman understand what Victor was saying.

In just three seconds, the Amazon River became the limpid, clear stream outside his old home.

In this mirror-like stream, Goldman suddenly saw himself clearly:

Actually, Goldman had never sought to possess Victor’s air of a monarch.

To him, it was enough to be acknowledged by such a “king”.

After three seconds, apart from “dejection every month”, this little assistant had another motivation to press on.

-

Other cancelled R&S: here

Lucien’s cancelled R&S (by other user): here

[strangertheory]

It's pretty much a given that Dr. Brenner will be returning. Do you think he's in the states still trying to track down El? I always suspected that he may have ran away to Russia so he could continue his experiments and research (maybe that's how the Russians knew about the Upside Down). I've been trying to avoid any BTS photos that could provide any major spoilers so there could be news I missed.

From the way that you contextualized your question, I believe you might prefer to avoid spoilers and any Stranger Things 4 leaks or rumors.

I am going to offer you two answers: one which is in the first part of this blogpost, and one which you can choose to read at your own risk which is below the “read more” divider and that takes into account my current thoughts on a few leaked photos and rumors.

I don’t believe that Dr. Brenner or the Lab was necessarily trying to track down El throughout seasons 2 and 3. Even though the Lab assured Nancy and Jonathan that the people who “made mistakes” in the past are gone (presumably they are referring to Dr. Brenner) the Lab and Dr. Owens seem to have a few different mysterious arrangements with Hopper. What these arrangements might entail have been implied but never openly stated. We do see Owens giving Hopper a birth certificate for Jane and telling him to “give it a year.” We see Hopper getting into cars and having shadowy interactions with people that we can only assume are affiliated with the Lab. But now that Hopper is gone and presumed dead (as of the end of season 3) is it possible that the mysterious arrangement that Hopper had with the Lab and/or with Dr. Owens would be nullified and that El would become the target of the Lab’s interest again? It’s quite possible. And perhaps Dr. Brenner, if he is alive and still doing experiments and research, might return and look to find El again.

I’d like to discuss a second hypothetical reason why I expect we could see Dr. Brenner in season 4, too:

In my opinion El’s conversation with Kali in season 2 foreshadows the return of Dr. Brenner, or perhaps it foreshadows the return of someone who might represent Dr. Brenner in some way.

"Now you're faced with the same choice, Jane: go back into hiding, and hope they don't find you. Or fight, and face him again."

"Face who?"

“The man who calls himself our father.”

Dr. Brenner was conspicuously missing from seasons 2 and 3, but we are led to believe that we haven’t seen the last of him yet. (Dead? Not dead? MIA?)

I theorize that Dr. Brenner will make a return appearance in season 4 because I have been waiting for the writers to reveal the secrets behind El and Will’s shared mysterious connection to each other that is implied to involve (among other things) the Lab and Dr. Brenner.

I believe that El now living with Joyce, Will, and Jonathan sets up the opportunity for this intersection of El’s and Will’s storylines to finally be explored and revealed to us.

I have considered a few very hypothetical ideas regarding what we might see in season 4 based on a few alleged Stranger Things 4 rumors and leaks. Keep in mind I treat all leaks as inconclusive information that is highly unreliable, and I try to avoid making many theories based on rumors and leaks. But! I cannot stop my brain from thinking about the information and ideas being passed around the fandom, and I do have a few ideas and hypotheticals that I’m happy to share with you.

Potential spoiler alert! For the rest of this blogpost I will be talking about a few rumors and alleged photo leaks that have been discussed by fans online over the last few months which influence my thoughts and ideas:

There were photographs leaked of alleged Stranger Things 4 filming in front of a movie theater that listed movies from 1982 such as The Dark Crystal. (1982? Yes! 1982.) This would mean that we might get flashbacks or scenes set before the events of 1983 when Will went missing and El escaped from the Lab.

If we will be seeing events that took place prior to season 1: it is very possible that we could see Dr. Brenner again in flashbacks that are relevant to either El or Will’s history with Dr. Brenner and the Lab.

Could we see Dr. Brenner in the present-day? Maybe, maybe not. El told Kali “Papa is dead.” But perhaps he either A) isn’t actually dead B) will still be a relevant character from El’s past within the story and we will get to see her or other characters interacting with Dr. Brenner in the past.

I believe that season 4 is going to focus heavily in addressing the mysterious connection between El and Will and I also suspect that Dr. Brenner is involved in that in some way.

To refer to the alleged leaked photograph of the movie theater again: the theater name suggests that it is located in “Lincoln Square.” There is a Lincoln Square in New York City and there is also a Lincoln Square in Chicago. We have characters who have connections to both Chicago and New York City in the series, and so it’s hard to determine the precise location of this movie theater. Regardless: we can say with greater confidence that, assuming these leaked photos were of filming for season 4, that this scene they were filming might take place in 1982 and show us events from characters’ pasts. I’ve considered the possibility that since Kali and El pursued a Lab employee (presumably living in or near Chicago in season 2) that it is possible that the Lab might have offices in that city as well as Hawkins. This is one reason I lean towards the possibility of seeing scenes set in Chicago at some point either in season 4 or season 5. (But who knows?)

In season 2 Will expresses his dislike for doctors and tells Joyce “No doctors. You promised!” and Hopper also asks Joyce, while she’s stressing over what to do about Will, whether she wants to “take him back to Chicago.” One can assume from the context of that conversation that Hopper is referring to medical treatment that Will had in the past.

Could Will have been a former patient of Dr. Brenner or another division of the Lab prior to his appointments with Dr. Owens?

I think it’s quite likely.

I’m not convinced that Dr. Brenner is who we think he is, however. I think there’s more to Dr. Brenner’s role in the story than we officially know (yet.)

To return to El and Kali’s conversation again:

"Now you're faced with the same choice, Jane: go back into hiding, and hope they don't find you. Or fight, and face him again."

"Face who?"

“The man who calls himself our father.”

If, as I suspect, Stranger Things is about a DID System and Will and El are both part of it: I have been wondering for a while whether the reason Dr. Brenner has all the Numbers refer to him as their father is because he is in fact actually their father in a more literal sense than simply being the mad scientist raising them to learn to control their powers.

If El is indeed an alter in a DID System, then perhaps “Papa” is actually an NPC or persecutor alter in the DID System based on whoever “real dad” is. Maybe El’s memories of being isolated and abused at the lab is a trauma memory that she experienced as an alter, and Kali is another alter who had similar traumatic experiences.

Maybe when we meet “Dr. Brenner” again he won’t be who he was before, but embodied by a different character who is chillingly familiar to El.

As I mentioned in this recent answer to another Ask: I am curious how El might react if she ever met Lonnie and whether she would recognize him as someone she knows or not.

I realize that my thoughts about Brenner might be a little bit hard to follow: this is because I don’t have any clear-cut expectations for when and how we will see Dr. Brenner again. What I described above is purely speculative and I wouldn’t even consider it a theory. It’s simply a few ideas. :) I’m a lot more comfortable analyzing what we already know about the series and finding hidden connections within the episodes and content that we already have available. When it comes to speculating about super-specific future plot-points I see it as a less exact science and (for me, at least) it can easily become fanfiction. I might have an opinion on the general trajectory of certain character relationships based on foreshadowing that we have been given, but the specific way that they will manifest themselves in the story is beyond what I can say.

Thank you so much for your Ask! Dr. Brenner is a fascinating character and there’s so much that we still don’t know about him. Discussing hypotheticals about Brenner always interests me even though I don’t feel especially confident in any one possible route the story might take and I relegate most of my thoughts about him to the “maybe?” section. But I do think we’ll see him again.

[cowboypossume]

so i reread keeper of the lost cities and here’s my fresh input:

a note before we begin: you know how people fake throw up at things on tik tok? this book is the reason i now unironically do that.

dex and fitz really have the enemies to lovers troupe going for them and i’m ok with it. i really am.

so do sophie and biana at the beginning but it fizzes out so a better description is enimies to friends to lovers

marhella and stina give me such power top energy i cannot express how much i think that contributes to people not liking them

speaking of stina i wish sophie didn’t just immediately hop onto the bandwagon of “oh she’s evil” without investing further, especially with how much she is written as a ‘good’ person (which i can and will defend to the day i die that good people don’t exist but that’s for a different day).

there’s way too much heteronormativity and Patriarchical Ideas mushed into the book. like three hole pages of a 488 page book of teenagers being like “oooooo girls like guys and guys like girls” only for della to join in. not to mention the amount of times keefe is the reason for those ideas because he’s teasing like “oh fitz has a girlfriend”

keefe and fitz didn’t have as many bonding moments™️ in this book as i remember, but they stil know each other really well, have comfortability around each other, and would make a 10/10 best friends to lovers troupe.

oh my god s o many crushes i swear. like two teenagers of the opposite gender really can’t not like each other apperantly

i miss read a line and really thought there was cannon sexism for me to do a whole ass rant about in the notes part of my analyzation but n o p e

but we do have classism, sexist stereotypes, and the fact that there’s been SO many characters who’ve spoken and ✨🌺far too many of them are white🌺✨

oh also: no ones disabled. which annoys me because their society is described as ‘euptopic’ almost implying that it’s something that makes people problematic, which,,,, no

ok a side note on the society, i understand that the story’s message (kinda) is that things that seem perfect are probably deeply flawed, but something tergan said stuck with me. on a page i can’t remember at the moment he says something like “[the black swan exists] in a society that doesn’t have rebels”, which it suck with me bc that’s boarderline dystopic if it’s not there already. it’s one thing for laws not to be broken, but when you think your society is so perfect despite it having obvious flaws and you think that no one rebels, then i really hate to break it to you, you have a massive rebellion about to occur; it’s just scented as foul under your resplendent nose.

please stop flirting. i get its part of teenagers being teens but i swear if i read “s/he realeased a breath” or “their heart fluttered” or literally ANYTHING like that god no.

yall. i missed dex. he actually has more role in this book than ‘you can gadget and we need one’ and oh boy i really missed him. he’s a BEAN and deserves better.

hole’s said everyone deserves better and i absolutely agree so we’re adding that note here.

if you do what i did and read this book out loud to one of your best friends who has no clue anything about this weird fandom and give fitz a really deep voice for no reason it’s comdy GOLD.

i really think i’m reading too much into this point but iggy seems,,,, symbolic to me?

like ok with humans, sophie didn’t ‘fit in’, right? like she grew up hearing things like “why can’t you be normal like your sister” (which i can do a whole other rant about how that will affect her for the rest of her life just a s k)

not to mention looking really different from her family and graduating high school at age twelve 

but you know who never judged her?

m a r t y

so anyway sophie meets this teal-eyed, movie star smiled wonder boy who takes away her entire knowledge of everything she’s known while taking away her family too

and it turns out even in a place of weirdos she still manages to be the exception to everything

and she doesn’t have the comfort to hear what people are really thinking about her anymore (which as i said before say the word and i’ll deadass write a whole speech about how everything she heard will completely fuck up every relationship she has) which unfortunately means that she grew used to confirming people didn’t like her but now she doesn’t have that

she has to adapt to this new space and feel like she’s always felt, like an outcast in a place that was accepting, but yet again, she the exception to everything

but about halfway through the book she starts to become more comfortable around grady and edaline and that’s when iggy comes in

she finds him while cleaning garbage, and grady compliments her. they have a bonding moment and it’s because of this t h i n g. and then sophie actually feels proud not only does she take up a room, but she did something

and her new parents are proud of her

so she finally feels like she BELONGS because she helped out at the place where she lives/they work

to me it seems iggy is kinda a manifesto of the world building and character development that happens in this book

i think the plot/character arc is fixated a little too much on how different sophie is. like, i get it, she’s exception to everything, but the plot really didn’t need her to be that quirky. yes, she’s different, but there’s a lot more to the plot and her character than how different she is.

also, i had to reread pages a lot bc i needed an exact paragraph number and,,,, it’s really paced like a fanfic

some questions i have about the society is:

it’s established that they use books, physical papers, etc., and the only thing i remember about trees is the speech alden gave her about how she doesn’t know the name of their most popular tree, and the fact that people become trees when they die. even then i don’t think the second one is in this book. never o n c e do i remember something about planting trees that aren’t dead elf’s, so do they feel the affects of deforestation and that jazz?? like if they use trees, will they run out of them? can they??? and do they use the coffins of elf’s for paper??

this is more of a rant than a question, but here it goes anyway. in foxfire, students have a testing system very similar to the one in america: a huge test at the end of the year determines the future of a student. that in of itself doesn’t sound too drastic, right? well,,,,, not necessarily. several studies have shown that tests in general, but especially these types, don’t work. despite how good or bad of a teacher i think my past and current teachers have been, every single one of them hates this system that we have in place. they know it’s an unfair assessment that does it’s damnist to make you fail, and they’re trying so hard to denounce it. however, that doesn’t happen at all in the lost cities. in fact, most of the teachers pride themselves on failing students. so if elf’s are in such an advanced society, why do tests still exist? especially in an environment where the consequences are far greater than just staying back a grade. 

so sophie’s figuring out that major problems exist in the world the elf’s created, right? i wonder if more society structured problems exist more than ‘oh bad people do things and the law justifies which is what’. like, as i’ve previously stated, there’s sexist stereotypes presented (like girls like dresses and guys don’t), but does sexism still exist? does racism exist? it’s established that poverty isn’t a thing because of the fund elf’s have at birth and their limited usage of money (which if you understand please explain bc i don’t really get how they buy stuff but still don’t use money) but if someone gets shipped off to exile, do they lose their money? is it possible for elf’s to starve to death because they can’t afford food? do they pay for food?? if they did starve who would they call? because someone on this website, who’s post i tried to find but i couldn’t so if y’all know what i’m talking about please link it, brought up a good point that elwin is a school physician, he shouldn’t be dealing with the near-death experiences sophie has, so who would they turn to? especially if they don’t have access to foxfire because they got exciled??

is therapy a thing in this world? sophie and dex could really benefit from it, yet mental health has only been brought up when someone went insane, which REALLY shows how little they think about it.

that perfectly transitions into my next point: sophie and dex’s trauma. i really don’t get the vibe that there was much thought going into their kidnapping, other than sophie needed something to trigger her inflecting ability and establish the black swan are on the good side, which really sucks because wow trauma doesn’t happen lightly. and the fact that it happened seems rushed to me, but i’ll come back to that. but anyway, their trauma doesn’t get developed that deeply in this book because it wasn’t given the space to. they were beaten, tortured, starved, gagged, and who even knows what else for t e n d a y s, only for them to find them again, repeat the process, but someone saves them and dumps them into an illegal city and they both nearly die from dehydration, coldness, and lack of concentration, and you’re telling me after three days of conscious of bed rest sophie wants to get her failing out of school over with? ma’am, it takes more time than that to adjust to THAT alone, not to mention the realization that “hey your entire life is fake because people genetically altered you to be their weapon in a war so much bigger than yourself” that was recently dumped on her. like,,,, you really expect me to think that three days is what made her feel prepared and CONFIDENT? no sir. i don’t buy it.

coming back to it being rushed: the book starts out slow and then really hits the ground running and doesn’t stop. so much more stuff happens in the second half of the book than the first and it never gets fully developed it feels like. in the first half sophie moves away but gets a new family and struggles a bit but adapts, fires maybe but hey don’t worry about it, dex hates fitz, fitz is ✨d r e a m y ✨ but our main girl doesn’t like him like that, right?, stina’s a bitch, and sophie is a quirky girl and telepath but can’t tell anyone. pretty basic stuff, not too plot intensive. the second half though: sophie almost fails her midterms but doesn’t, grady and elaine want to unadopt her (which that’s never really explained as to why they do that but ok) fires exist in san degio but they’re fine but they’re actually a rebel elf so..., sophie accidentally breaks a law but it was an accident so it’s fine, update on the fires: sophie burns herself trying to get the evidence that it’s a rebel elf and it works, she’s the moon lark and basically a weapon bc no one knows her well enough to evaluate her safety, sophie and dex get kidnapped but fitz can now transmit to her and she has two new abilities so it’s all good, trauma doesn’t exist except for nightmare you can fix with sedatives, sophie doesn’t fail out of school, and yayyy her family doesn’t want her remove their adoption. there’s probably a lot more that i missed, it’s just that’s a LOT of stuff crammed into a little bit further than the second half of the book that really could have been devolped or explore further instead of forcing into less than 244 pages, ya know?

fitz’s eyes are mentioned seven times, the first time being on page TWO of the novel

his smile is mentioned three times

alden says “no reason to worry” five times, he writes it once, and sophie points out he says it a lot so he chances it slightly to something like ‘don’t stress about it’ so i didn’t count those though i should have

speaking of alden, in this book he’s absolutely creepy, but something that stands out to me is how much he calls sophie girl. i didn’t count it, but he said “that’s a good girl” to sophie too many times for it to be normal especially when you consider how he doesn’t do it to anyone else.

i kinda forgot i was annotating for sophie’s anxious habit of pulling out her eyelashes so i got she did it twice, but i highly doubt that number

but i will keep adding to this when i actually do the words with my annotations.

[wisdomrays]

TAFAKKUR: Part 347

THE UNIVERSE IN THE LIGHT OF MODERN PHYSICS

‘The least understood aspect of the universe is its being understandable,’ said Einstein.

These words attempt to pierce the veil of habit that develops in our minds from not looking into the reason for things. The perfection of the order operative in the universe is of such a degree that it prevents us from being aware of it. In the same way, we only become aware of the faultless operation of the watches we have worn on our wrists for years when they stop working.

In the world-view developed upon the foundation of Newton’s laws of motion, the universe was likened to a flawlessly operating watch. Events were tied to one another in a cause-effect relationship and our knowing the laws of this relationship allowed us to predict events with great accuracy. It was possible to determine with mathematical exactness a wide range of phenomena, from the times of eclipses of sun and moon to the amount of fuel and the speed needed to put an object into orbit around the earth. The success of these ‘natural laws’ led many people to believe that they completely expressed and ‘ruled’ the whole order of the universe.

Because God creates and sustains all things and events from behind the veil of universal general laws, because certain events (causes) are followed reliably by similar events (effects) each time they (the causes) occur, it begins to be supposed that the causes are responsible for or ‘create’ the effects. This is, of course, a gross error, as no number of causes suffices to create even a little effect; for every event even the tiniest, the whole universe must be presupposed first, including the laws operative within it. Moment by moment, all things and all events are created and sustained by God, Who wills from an infinite range of alternative possibilities a particular actuality.

The clockwork model of the universe derived from Newtonian or classical physics is not a complete account of the phenomena which we observe in the universe. Already in the late 19th century, scientists had been bewildered by the lines that turned up in the light spectra emitted by heated gases: the steady, stable clockwork model predicted did not happen. Also, there were problems explaining the behaviour of light: sometimes it made more sense as a beam of particles, sometimes as a wave.

Today our understanding of the universe is very far from the ‘clockwork’ model. The shift in understanding occurred in the first quarter of the 20th century, beginning in 1900 with the publication of Max Planck’s work on radiation. The problem Planck worked on for six years was that the actually measured radiation from hot bodies did not conform to the values predicted by the classical theory. He put forward the suggestion that bodies radiating energy did so, not evenly and continuously, but unevenly and discontinuously in tiny packets or ‘quanta’. So startling was this suggestion that, despite confirmation by experiment, Planck himself thought of his theory as solving the problem of radiation by a sort of trick.

But then, in 1905, Albert Einstein published an article using the notion of packets of energy of definite sizes to explain how electrons are ejected from metal when light (radiation) falls on it. Whereas classical theory had predicted that the voltage (measure of the energy of the electrons ejected) would be proportional to the intensity of the light (radiation), Einstein showed that it was proportional instead to the frequency of the radiation. The conformity of this explanation with experimentally observed results gained Einstein the Nobel Prize. (Einstein didn’t receive the prize for his famous theory of relativity.) The significance of these findings and theories was not fully appreciated at the time.

A few years later in 1910, Ernest Rutherford did a ground-breaking experiment. He bombarded a thin layer made up of gold atoms with high energy particles and showed that the atom contained an extremely small positively-charged nucleus with negatively-charged electrons moving around it. Following the classical physics model, these electrons should have been small particles orbiting the nucleus in the same way as the planets orbit the sun, steadily losing energy until they fell on to the nucleus-in other words, the atom should have been unstable. Again it was a rejection of the classical model, three years later, by Niels Bohr, that helped solve the problem. Bohr argued that the electrons must move in fixed orbits until deflected by the absorption or emission of a unit of energy.

Atoms emit radiation after various external signals and only at specific wave lengths. As Einstein said, every different color of light is composed of energy packets inversely proportional to its wave-length (frequency). Because the Planck constant (h) is very small, the energy of these packets is also very, very small. For example, a normal light bulb emits 1020 light packets (photons) a second. Each of these photons is created when an activated atom or molecule passes to its normal or ‘basic state.’ Thus light, which allows us to see and which is a basic building block of life, develops as a result of the motions (in wave form) of electrons. The concepts of classical physics could successfully explain many of the events of daily life, but it couldn’t explain events on the subatomic level.

During those years (1910-1925) physics fell into a state of confusion because of the many measurements that conflicted with general theory and could not be explained by it. This situation was to lead W. Pauli (later to discover the principle fundamental to the understanding of the structure and characteristics of elements) to say he would rather have been a singer or gambler than a physicist. Actually in order to explain the observations being made, the whole way in which physical events had been understood required fundamental revision by wholly new methods. This was achieved by Werner Heisenberg, a 24 year-old physicist described by his teachers as a person who dealt with the essence of a subject rather than getting bogged down in detail, a person with powerful concentration and ambition. Perhaps the success of this young mind can be explained by the critical perspective he developed through reading the works of great men such as Kant and Plato, which was later supported with sound knowledge he got from great physicists. Heisenberg, who relaxed from work by climbing rocks and reading poetry, said: ‘It was around three in the morning when the calculations were completed and the solution to the problem appeared in front of me. First I experienced a great shock. I was so excited that I didn’t even think about sleeping. I left the house and, sitting on a rock, I waited for the sunrise.’

Like the other scientists who established quantum physics, Heisenberg was a philosopher-physicist. The philosophy he accepted and advocated that allowed him to interpret atomic events is as follows: ‘Even though it is successful with classical physics, the language we use to explain physical events in the atom or its surroundings is insufficient. For this reason, after making a specific measurement in a quantum system (for example, an atom), using that knowledge we can get a theory that will tell us what kind of results we can find in the next measurement. But it’s not possible to say anything about what takes place between the two measurements.’

What pushed Heisenberg to make such a statement was that the mathematical tools he used to develop a theory that could explain the observed discontinuity of energy in light and atoms were abstract concepts that had not been used before. In classical physics the numbers we know were used to give value to matter’s position, speed, size, etc. In Heisenberg’s quantum mechanics, these sizes were expressed with infinite dimensional n x n matrices which enabled physicists to calculate the properties attributed to electrons (energy, position, momentum, angular momentum) in an approximate way. Because these abstract mathematical expressions didn’t have an equivalent in everyday spoken language, it wasn’t possible to approach them with a classical understanding. It was observed that in order to measure the position of an electron, the experimenter necessarily altered its velocity. This problem was formally expressed in 1927 in Heisenberg’s famous Uncertainty Principle.

Independently of Heisenberg, Erwin Schrodinger made another significant breakthrough in mathematical description of electrons. Inspired by the hypothesis put forward two years earlier by De Broglie about the wave properties of matter particles, Schrodinger developed a ‘wave mechanics’ by which the movement of particles could be calculated. (figure: 1) But the fundamental question remained as to what these strange and original ‘waves of matter particles’ or ‘waves accompanying matter particles’ were.

The mathematical formulations devised by Heisenberg and Schrodinger are complementary in the sense that physicists use whichever best resolves the particular calculations they are trying to make. There is no formally distinct space between the scientists and the phenomena they are seeking to understand and manipulate: their means of observation and manipulation (the mathematics) in some sense ‘posit’, put in place, the very phenomena whose place (among other properties) they are trying to determine. Alongside the notion of an infinite array of rows and points, as invented by Heisenberg, to plot the position or motion of a sub-atomic particle, physicists and philosophers of physics have begun to speak of arrays of events or ‘stories’ to try to explain, in something resembling ordinary language, the ideas they are handling. This cannot be described as a world-view in the way that the Newtonian physics confirmed and sustained a world-view, but it is nevertheless a clear and distinct disposition which, instead of excluding God as the Force Who wound up the clockwork and then retired from His creation, admits the in-completeness and uncertainty of human knowledge as a structural element of reality-in other words, the uncertainty is not a function of our present ignorance (to be relieved by future knowledge), but an actual constituent of the way reality is.

Quantum physics, at least figuratively and metaphorically, has became a vehicle for the interpretation of such concepts as matter, beyond-matter, energy, existence and non-existence in a way nearer to Divine sources; and led to many physicists settling accounts with their conscience and turning towards God Who is understood to be simultaneously transcendent and immanent, there and here.

[musiclarity]

On the Other Side (Aine and Ai AU)

~~~

Darkness, devoid of light. Submerged within an ocean of the mind with seemingly no bottom. Memories tweak and spark. Faces. Dreamlike pulses of light deep in the mind. Feelings. Things that haven't been thought about in years. What is a thought? The memories bloom, then they're gone, lost to the tides.

It should feel like isolation, yet it is almost the exact opposite. Although not entirely understood, there was something else with him. Him. He was a he. There was another place beyond this inky darkness where his consciousness remained. A world filled with light and color and sounds, things that didn’t exist here. Words without definitions he could recall. Things that this other person? Feeling? God? Showed him. Reminded him. It was through their eyes that he saw and experienced the world he couldn’t return to. But these experiences, realizations, recollections, all of it, inevitably sank back down into the depths, vanished and forgotten. The soft warm bubbles would pop no matter how carefully he cared for them. He knew they were all precious, and yet they would inevitably be lost. It was the perpetual cycle of being trapped in this dark ocean with no surface to escape to…

~~~

When Aine opened his eyes for the first time in too many years, at first there was nothing he could see but blinding searing light. Everything after that was blurred and disjointed. He could feel his face, but he could not move it. His eyes stared forward, dilated and unblinking. Eventually his eyes started to burn, and he recognized in that moment he needed to blink. Yet he could not close his eyes despite how much he wanted to do so. It was as if he had no control over his body, trapped within it. Then his mind travels back to the inky darkness he had spent an eternity trapped in. Forget the fact he was in pain, he could feel pain. He remembered pain. He remembered blinking. For the first time in years, Aine could remember.

That seemed to open the floodgates as suddenly his long dormant mind became animated, exuberant, as a million thoughts raced and rattled within his head to the point where everything and nothing made sense. There was something else as well. That presence he had felt when he was trapped within his mind, it was here with him, stronger than before. The first thing Aine truly saw was what looked like a computer monitor, all too familiar hands typing at it. They weren’t his hands, and he knew it wasn’t his body. This jarring duel sight combined with his throbbing head was enough to cause his consciousness to slip once again.

…

(A few weeks later.)

…

Aine stood next to Uncle, both men watching Shining scramble with a phonebook and dialing numbers furiously. It was a rare sight to see him this flustered, he reminded Aine of the Tasmanian devil. Aine chuckled holding a hand to his chin.

“Remind me to bring a camera next time Uncle~” He teased, Uncle shaking his head.

“You’re definitely perkier than before. You don’t feel dizzy or light-headed?” He asked sternly for the umpteenth time today, eyeing Aine studiously. Aine waved a dismissive hand smiling.

”I’m fine Uncle, no worries~” It wasn’t a complete lie; his head was fine aside from still trying to wrap around the fact that he had been in a coma for almost eleven years. The cyan haired idol ran his fingers through his hair, an old habit of his. After a near heart attack with Uncle trying to cut it for him, he eventually managed to do it himself; it was back to the length he remembered. Uncle also tried to dress him, seriously he was such a nervous nelly, but the good news was Uncle had kept Aine’s clothes which he was grateful for since some of those ensembles were ridiculously expensive. The most important thing of all though was the blue stone worn proudly around his neck. He wrapped a hand around it, smiling somewhat to himself. It was a gift from his best friend. The memory alone caused a small pang in Aine’s chest, his smile briefly fell, memories of that night flooding back. Painful memories of sadness, anger, betrayal. Part of him wanted to reconnect with them, more than a little fearful to possibly discover they didn’t care about him after all. Uncle reassured him that it wouldn’t be the case, but Aine still carried doubts. And regret, so much regret…

Utilizing his years of training, he shoved the negative thoughts down and wove a casual smile back on his face. Thankfully Uncle seemed distracted trying to stop Shining from whatever over the top shenanigans he was attempting. On a whim, Aine wandered over to the window and looked outside, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face. It was nice to see the sky again.

At that moment he felt something tug at his chest, not quite panic but definitely surprise and confusion. Looking down instinctively, Aine’s eyes widened as he stared in shock at the other figure who met his gaze, one that held a literal mirror of his expression.

Cyan eyes and hair, his cyan eyes and hair. Their hair was partially done up in a ponytail so at least it wasn’t completely identical. They wore a purple hoodie and white pants, just staring up at him unblinkingly with an almost empty look to their gaze.

It was another him.

How in the world was that possible?!

Aine was so distracted by this abrupt experience he didn’t realize he had been shouting for quite some time now, his mouth suddenly very dry. Both Shining and Uncle were at his side, both wide eyed and pale faced when they saw what the commotion was about. Uncle inhaled sharply, turning to Aine.

“He’s what I’ve been meaning to talk to you about…” He answered vaguely and Aine just blinked, those words not explaining anything.

“I have a doppelganger now?! You don’t think that would’ve been crucial to tell me before now?!” Aine demanded, Shining shrinking back letting the creator speak.

This certainly was not going as planned. He thought that Aine would’ve been informed at least about Ai’s existence before coming here. Apparently, that wasn’t the case. Whoops. He slipped back to his desk and shut off his phone, Ai’s number displayed briefly before being shut off.

“On Shining’s orders, I built a robot version of you yes.” Uncle admitted, Aine shaking his head in disbelief.

“You say that as casually as you would the weather.” He huffed sarcastically in response. Sarcasm was how he dealt with most life-altering scenarios such as this. Uncle’s lips pulled into a tight line.

“He was built to help bring you back to us. Without him, I have no doubts you would’ve ended up dead.” He elaborated, his tone cold, it was obvious saying those words still hurt the man all these years later. Aine didn’t reply, unsure of what he could even say, his mind busy dealing with all of this. Then he had a slow realization wash over him.

“Is that why I never felt truly alone while I was under?” He asked. Both Uncle and Shining had perplexed expressions on their faces, the question even surprised Aine a little. Before anyone could answer, there was a knock on the door. Without looking, Aine knew who it was and the fact he knew made his shoulders tense. He could tell they were much the same. Shining turned to the door with a big cheesy smile, yet his eyes were anything but smiling.

“Come in! Come in!” He greeted merrily, and Aine felt that was clearly forced. Those weren’t his thoughts though. It just keeps getting weirder.

His doppelganger walked in, looking at each of them individually before his eyes met Aine’s. There was almost a jump to Aine’s heartbeat, and he knew they could feel it also. They were less panicked than Aine, more confused if anything. As if he were an equation with no definitive solution. Uncle’s face was unreadable at the moment and considering the awkward silence, Shining stepped up to do some icebreaking, gesturing to his twin.

“Aine, meet Ai.” He then turned to Ai and made the same gesture towards him.

“Ai, meet Aine.”

The two stared at one another without blinking, without a single word uttered.

“This is so weird…” Aine thought to himself. At least he thought it was himself. That is until he heard. No. Felt? No. Somethinged.

“Weird hardly describes this well enough.”

Both blinked at the same time.

Aine knew he hadn’t opened his mouth; Shining was still hovering in anticipation waiting for them to shake and say hello. With great apprehension, Aine extended his hand, Ai following suit. The moment their hands met, they gave a firm shake, then quickly let go.

“Nice to meet you.” Ai said and Aine wasn’t as surprised to find out that Ai sounded identical to him.

“The pleasure is mine~” Aine replied, his cheerful idol aura shining through. Ai offered a small smile back, if only for a brief moment before falling to that neutral, a little unnerving expression. Shining then clapped his hands together.

“Now I know this is probably a shock to both your systems, but we’ll get this sorted out right Creator?” He joked whimsically, elbowing Uncle who still hadn’t moved. Uncle seemed to snap out of a trance, nodding diligently.

“You both deserve answers. Of course, I was planning on doing something else-“ He looked at Shining with narrowed accusatory eyes. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out this was his doing.

“-But given the circumstances, we’ll move forward differently. The shock would likely be similar no matter how I introduced you both to one another.” Uncle explained with a guilty looking Shining nodding in agreement.

From there Uncle explained everything to both idols as if they were completely uninvolved with any of this tangled mess of reality. As he droned on, Aine heard(?) another familiar voice.

“None of this explains these odd emotions I feel…”

“I’m probably the reason for that if I had to guess~”

Both idols blink but they don’t exchange glances. They already knew and understood one another’s confusion.

It was beyond weird that they could somehow read each other’s minds. What was this? Jedi mind tricks?

“Sorry for shouting earlier. It wasn’t cool of me to do that.” Aine apologized mentally.

“It was odd hearing my voice yell like that, like a frightened child in a haunted house.” Ai replied and Aine couldn’t help but chuckle a little at how brutally honest this guy was. It made sense though, he was a robot.

“You mean my voice~ You’re the clone here.” Aine teased.

“I had no idea the person I was built for was this blasé.” Ouch.

“I mean it makes sense that we wouldn’t be completely identical. The fact that we aren’t is a bit comforting actually…” Aine admitted.

“I suppose that’s true.” It seemed Ai wasn’t much for small talk. Aine couldn’t blame him. But then again, simply sitting near each other, it didn’t feel like anything else needed to be said. They both already knew, sort of like a weird instinct. He wasn’t quite sure how to put it.

What he was expecting today: not any of this.

As he sat there, Uncle’s mouth running in the foreground, Aine thought a bit more in depth about this whole having a twin deal. To have someone who understood him like this, it was a bit frightening, definitely weird, yet oddly comforting.

He owed Ai his life, and Ai owed a similar debt to him.

That thought brought a smile to his face, which only widened when he realized Ai was also smiling a bit more genuinely this time.

…

[magicmastered]

What Universe does Thor: Ragnarok Take Place In? Part One

Let’s be clear. If you like Thor: Ragnarok, or don’t want to see criticism of it, I suggest that you: a) don’t read this, b) filter your tags, c) block me, or d) some combination of the above. Now that we have that out of the way....

A cinematic universe (like the MCU) is a set of movies that all take place in the same fictional universe and share continuity with each other. This means that they share characters, settings, and timelines with other movies in that cinematic universe. To give a recurring character in a cinematic universe contradictory timelines and/or personality traits is to violate the entire point of having a cinematic universe.

Thor: Ragnarok is labeled and marketed as an MCU film. Certainly it shares some settings with other MCU movies, and some characters have the same names and faces. However, that’s as far as it goes. Several characters that T:R shares with other MCU films have noticeably altered personalities, inexplicable within the fictional universe. Two even have different and contradictory backstories. Continuity is destroyed.

Allow me to explain.

I’ll start with the backstories. Thor and Loki’s specifically, beginning from the start of the movies.

According to the interviews and commentary from Thor (2011) and a book about the movie (I believe it’s called Thor: Heroes and Villains), Loki has always tried to be a good son and brother to Odin and Thor respectively. He usually talks Thor out of bad situations. Loki got a rough deal compared to Thor, who didn’t know what ‘no’ meant. As shown in the movie and deleted scenes, criminal activity is something new to him (“Loki’s always been one for mischief, but this is something else entirely”). He prefers to negotiate rather than fight (he talked to Laufey before Thor could make things violent, and would’ve gotten everyone out safely if not for Thor’s temper and bloodlust), and though he’s a skilled fighter, he doesn’t enjoy it. Loki looks out for Thor and co. (he saves Fandral and Sif during the Jotunheim fight, and he references a battle where he got them all to safety by hiding them). He thinks ahead to make sure things work out safely (he tells a guard to tell Odin that they were going to Jotunheim). As a child, he was quiet, curious, and insecure. Odin raised him and Thor to believe that both of them had a chance for the throne, but only one of them would get it—implicitly, whichever of them was ‘worthier’.

The next part of the timeline review will focus more on Loki, considering that it’s more relevant to the topic. I’ll keep motives listed with actions where they fit, seeing as they’re a major issue (as I’ll expand upon later).

(I’m leaving out details of the interrupted coronation because I plan to write a meta on the subject at a later date.) The Jotuns were let into the weapons vault to interrupt Thor’s coronation; his reaction was meant to show (as it did) whether or not he was ready to rule. Loki, when he told the guard to fetch Odin, had no idea that Thor would get banished; he looked shocked and told Sif and the Warriors Three as much.

Upon receiving a major hint that he’s a Jotun, a race Odin raised him to hate and fear, Loki confronts Odin about it in the weapons’ vault. Odin falls into the Odinsleep. Frigga gives Loki the throne, since he’s next in line (this is how succession works, for those who don’t know—king, crown prince, any younger princes). Loki, having had his identity, already mangled self-worth, and entire life shaken to the core, decides to use this power to prove to Odin that he’s a worthy son. This means he needs Thor out of the way, so he tells Thor that Odin’s dead and his banishment is permanent to ensure that he doesn’t try to return. It means he needs to control everything happening on Asgard to make sure whatever else he does goes as planned, so he orders Heimdall to let no one through the Bifrost and tells Sif and the W3 to stay put. It also means he has to do something drastic that Odin can’t not notice. Maybe something to do with ending the war that Odin was so angry about. So Loki goes to Jotunheim and invites Laufey to come to Asgard with a few guards to ‘kill Odin’, intending to kill the Jotun king—his blood father—to save Odin’s life. The ‘assassination attempt’ will provide him with the solid reason he needs to erase any doubt that he’s really Asgardian, and to end the war as Odin’s family has been venerated for ending wars for the last couple generations. Genocide. He can’t be a Jotun if there aren’t any Jotuns left.

(Side note: I realize that genocide is wrong. That’s not the point. The point is that Loki doesn’t, since everyone he’s been taught to look up to has either done it or attempted it; it’s literally part of the culture he grew up in. I’m not excusing him for it, I’m explaining him.)

But then Heimdall, Sif, and the W3 commit treason. Now he’s got problems. He takes care of Heimdall himself (notably Heimdall struck first), but Sif and the W3 are on Earth already, where Thor is. They tell Thor that Loki’s betrayed them. Thor’s shocked; it’s unlike Loki. Loki panics and sends the Destroyer to stop them before they can bring Thor back. Thor assumes that the Destroyer’s there for him. Loki, now angry as well, has the Destroyer backhand him in frustration (it’s arguable whether or not he meant the blow to be deadly). Well, he’s probably kept them on Earth for now, but he has to hurry things up. He brings Laufey over and kills him just as he’s about to kill Odin. But then Thor shows up and he’s angry. Loki blasts Thor through a wall to buy himself from time and initiates genocide-by-Bifrost. Thor comes back and tries to stop him, despite the fact that he was trying to get the same result three days earlier. Loki, visibly breaking down, can’t stop now—he’s desperate, he’s rapidly lost his mind, and his brother is trying to stop him from doing the one thing he thinks will finally make Odin acknowledge him. So he fights Thor. Thor eventually hits the Bifrost hard enough to break it. Odin wakes up and catches them both before they hit the black-hole-looking thing the Bifrost made. Loki pleads for his approval; Odin rejects him. Loki gives up and commits suicide.

Unfortunately for him, he has absurdly terrible luck, so he not only survives falling into the black hole-looking thing, but falls through who-knows-how much space after it and proceeds to land where Thanos finds him. Since he shows up with what looks like burn marks in a deleted scene, appears in his next movie with visible signs of heatstroke, and the interview quotes describing his experience go like...

“...it was like the worst place imaginable...”

“[he had]...several brushes with death...”

“...was like being captured in a terrorist cell...”

“Anything that would’ve happened to a runaway child who ran into the wrong people, happened to him.” (or something like this. I don’t remember the exact quote, but it’s to this general effect.)

“Harrowing, and scarring for life...”

...he has a really bad time. Considering that Thanos has a thing for torture (check out GOTG 1 and 2 and Infinity War), it’s pretty safe to assume that’s what happened. It certainly explains how Loki goes from wanting to die to claiming to want to rule Earth. And he’s in for worse if he doesn’t deliver up the Tesseract (“You think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain”). Hence, Avengers (2012).

Odin becomes relevant for a moment here. Fast-forward to Loki’s trial. Odin condemns Loki far more harshly than he did Thor for almost the same crimes.

Fast-forward to the Second Battle of Svartalfheim in Thor: The Dark World. Kursed’s beating Thor into the ground. Loki’s just finished off the other Dark Elves who were still there. He sees that Thor’s in trouble, grabs a Dark Elf blade, and stabs Kursed all the way through the back and chest with it. (I’m not sure if he grabbed the implosion weapon from another Dark Elf or if it was just hanging on Kursed’s belt.) Kursed turns around and impales him (note the solid body) on the end of the blade. Loki activates the implosion device, when he can’t know that Kursed will toss him away before it goes off. Thor cradles his (solid!) body, and Loki seemingly dies.

Later, Loki heals to some degree. What now? If he goes back to Asgard with Thor, Odin will either have him executed or throw him back in solitary confinement for the rest of his life. Odin will punish Thor and co. severely as well. If Loki doesn’t go back to Asgard at all, he could run into Thanos. That means he has to go back to Asgard, but he also needs Odin out of the way. So he returns to Asgard in the form of a guard and overpowers Odin. Thor thinks he’s dead. If he lets Thor spread the word, Thanos will stop looking for him. Thor’s handled his death before. He allows Thor to keep thinking that he died honorably.

Now. Thor: Ragnarok.

According to Thor: Ragnarok, Loki’s been trying to kill Thor for his entire life. He’s been stabbing Thor for no reason since he was eight. Thor patiently puts up with this. Odin does nothing about it. Loki betrays Thor constantly. Loki completely faked his death. The only reason Loki’s ever had for doing things is that he’s a trickster and can’t help himself.

What?!

How can Loki have tried to kill Thor for his whole life when he’s always tried to be a good son and brother?

How can Loki stab Thor for no reason while being the quiet, reasonable one who doesn’t like fighting?

How could Thor patiently put up with Loki’s assaults when he’s always been hotheaded and violent?

How could Odin ignore Loki stabbing Thor all the time when he favors Thor and doesn’t let Loki get away with anything?

How could Loki betray Thor constantly when his betrayal in Thor (2011) clearly comes as a massive shock to Thor?

How could Loki have completely faked his death when the solidity of the body that Kursed grabbed and that Thor held make it impossible for the death to have been an illusion?

How could his only reason for doing things be that he’s “a trickster” and “can’t help himself” when his reasons, as stated above, range from wanting to prove himself to Odin (killing Laufey; attempted genocide on Jotunheim), keeping Thor out of the way (lying about Odin’s death), avoiding torture (Avengers (2012)), utter desolation (suicide attempt), delivering punishment for treason (freezing Heimdall, sending the Destroyer), and protecting himself and Thor and co. (taking out Odin and keeping his survival secret)?

Both statements in each set cannot simultaneously be true.

Thor: Ragnarok contradicts the prior MCU. There is no continuity.

With no continuity, there can be no cinematic universe.

@lucianalight? You said you were interested?

[ren-c-leyn]

Another fusion story. This one is made up of these 1,2,3 prompts by @humdrummoloch, these 1,2,3,4,5 prompts by @givethispromptatry, and these 1,2,3,4,5,6 by @thependragonwritersguild.

 As usual, it’s an angister piece with some death mentioned in passing. No real details or gore, just a sad story.

  “It costs a story to cross this ferry.”

 I stared at the man in his tattered brown cloak, my hand still in my barren coin purse.

 “A story?”

 He gave a nod.

 “You tell me a story on the way across and I’ll let you off on the other side.”

 “That’s it?”

 Another nod.

 I supposed that was better than trying to barter with my last three coppers. Though, it did seem strange. Then again, I had survived strange. I gave the stranger a small nod.

 “A story, then. What sort of story do you want to hear?”

 “Whatever one comes to mind, for that is the one you need to tell.”

 Ah yes, more cryptic riddles. I hated riddles. But I stepped onto the small boat all the same and took a seat. He undid the rope and pushed away from the dock and into the fog.

 I tried to think of some of the childhood tales father would tell me, or some of mother’s old war stories. Neither came to mind. I couldn’t even seem to recall a single line of any of them, though I knew them all by heart. Instead, the only tale I could think of was the one I would rather have forgotten. Eventually, I realized this was what the ferryman meant. The bloody tale was the only one I could think of because it was the only one that would pay my fare.

 Surrendering, I cleared my throat and began the tale.

 “Once, there was a clan that lived on the Sunset Steppe. They were known as fierce warriors: a hard people that were said to be born with battle in their blood and steel in their souls. What outsiders didn’t realize was that the Steppe was a hard place, where you lived or you died by the blade. Not because of the people, but because of the monsters.

 Their biggest threat were the orcs. Most of them had differing opinions for why, but the shaman and the chieftain both had the same answer: There is no doubt in an Orc’s mind. They fight knowing they will win or knowing they will lose. And more often than not, they believe they will win, and so they fight to the death.

 The battles between the two tribes were always brutal, but they both picked themselves back up and rebuilt... but then, something changed.”

 I paused, listening to the water lapping against the old wood of the boat while I tried to piece my thoughts together. Slowly, the words seemed to string themselves together.

 “The orcs fell under the control of a more intelligent monster, one the clan had never seen before. She looked like a wizard’s experiment gone horribly wrong, bits and pieces of various creatures all stitched together. And she led the orcs to battle using her sorcery, crushing the clan beneath their heels. Thick rainclouds rolled over, penned them in with howling storms, while the orcs rushed in with their blades. The chieftain fell, trying to protect their daughter, as did the daughter’s guardian.

 'I said I’d protect you forever.'

 He drew his sword.

 'And I meant forever.'

 But forevers tend to evaporate quickly on a battlefield, don’t they? His certainly did.”

 I had to stop myself and draw in a deep breath. The story was getting off track.

 “When it was all said and done, over half of the clan had been wiped out, and the daughter was now the leader of a people with no warriors, and no hope. She went to the aged shaman to ask for her advice on how to save their people, for the orcs had vowed to hunt them down and finish their slaughter.

 The only solution the shaman could see was to earn the favor of the war god. When the young chieftain asked her how she could speak with the war god to gain his favor, she was met with an answer she did not expect.

  'You wish for things that cannot happen.' the shaman sighed and tapped the soot from her pipe. 'It couldn’t happen for me. It can’t happen for you.'

 ‘I will make it happen,’ the chieftain declared.

 The shaman watched her for a moment before sighing again.

 ‘Far away from home, you must wander, to the land of blood-red grasses. Seek the broken temple and speak the ancient oath. If the war god deems you worthy, he will show himself to you.’”

 I reached into the water, running my fingers over the foggy surface.

 “The chieftain went, of course. She saddled the best of their surviving horse and rode it hard for many days and nights, praying her people would still be alive on her return. The land of blood-red grass was on the western side of the Steppe, and it scared the horse, but the girl would not let it turn around. She pressed her heels into the flank, pushing them both forward through the mystical place until they found the broken temple.

 She tied the horse to a pillar before walking up ruined stairs and kneeling before the shattered alter. She spoke the phrase her father had taught her since she was a child, the blessing the the war god had given her people ages ago. And he appeared.”

 My hand sunk deeper into the cold waves, just as my mind sunk deeper into the tale.

 “When the Being revealed itself her breath caught in her throat. It… looked like a god, but not like how she would have assumed a god to look. But now as she watched it grow closer she wondered how she could have thought that a god would look like anything other than this.

 ‘You are a long way from home, Alpha-daughter.’ The war god’s voice echoed through her mind.

 She stared into the flaming eyes, unable to look away for even a second as she answered.

 ‘Not by choice, I assure you.’

 ‘Then why have you come?’

 ‘To ask for your aid once again. The orcs have sworn allegiance to an abomination, and have slaughtered my people... our people.’

 ‘You have fallen to mere orcs?’

 ‘No,’ she told him, shaking her head. ‘We have fallen to a sorceress monster in control of mere orcs. There is a difference and I would appreciate if you did not insult my parents’ memories by ignoring it.’

 Fear crept in, of course. It usually does not bode well to snap at a god,” I said as I pulled my hand out of the water. “But he did not strike her down. Did not punish her. Instead, he smiled, showing razor-sharp fangs.

 ‘A sorceress beast, you say? That could be fun. I’ll make you a deal, Alpha-Daughter. Swear me an oath, I will grant you the power to crush this creature and every orc to ever walk your homelands.’

 ‘And what is that oath?’

 ‘That you will bring me a trophy from this creature, and the strongest among the orcs you face, when you have finished your quest for vengeance.’

 ‘That is it?’

 'Do I have any reason to lie?’

 ‘Do you have any reason to tell the truth?’

 He puffed out his chest, the necklace on it catching her attention for the first time. It was made of... trophies. Fingers to be exact, and every finger came from different monsters.

 ‘Oaths mean something around here.’

 She looked him back in the eyes, making her choice.

 ‘Then I swear on my honor as the chieftain that I will bring back the trophies for you.’

 The god rose his clawed hands, and light filled the room. The chieftain shielded her eyes and then slowly blinked.

 Before her floated some armor pieces and a great blade, all of which surpassed anything she had seen before.

 ‘Constellations are forged in the metal,’ the war god spoke simply. ‘They will grant you the power to dominate your enemies.’

 She bowed and thanked him before donning her new armor. As she fitted the gauntlet on her hand she knew she would never be able to turn back to the way her life had been before. She would be a warrior now, a servant of the war god. Never to be called child again.”

 I paused again, thinking of how best to describe the last part.

 “When she returned, she discovered the shaman dead, killed in another orc raid, and the rest of her people scattered in various hiding places. Enraged, she spurred her steed straight into the orc stronghold.

 And just as the war god had promised, the armor and weapons made her more than a match for anything the orcs could throw at her. Even the magic of their new leader just bounced harmlessly off the gleaming metal.

 But something was not right... she couldn’t stop herself anymore. The blood flowed, and flowed, and flowed, and didn’t stop until every orc, regardless of age or guilt, was dead and their part of the steppe was on fire.

 She returned to her people, shaken and covered in more blood than she had ever seen in her life. The war god’s trophies in a bag on her saddle. A childhood friend was the only one willing to approach her.

 ‘What did you do to them?'

 ‘What I had to.'

 Had to, the words echoed in her mind. What the weapon and armor made her do. And as she rode back through the fields of blood-red grass, it began to set in just what it had meant when she asked for war’s help.

 She did not even speak the ancient oath when she entered this time. She just dropped the dripping bag onto the alter and climbed another set of ruined stairs to the only part of the second floor of the temple that hadn’t fallen yet.

 She watched from her balcony as night gave way to the coming of morning. The soft glow of pinks and oranges against the constant cloud cover made her ache for the life she’d once had.”

 And the boat touched the shore at last. The small bump jarring me out of the sad tale. I looked back to the ferry man and smiled sadly.

 “And that’s the story.”

 I stood up and stepped onto the shore, the fog starting to wane at last as dawn peaked through the swirling mass of white.

 “What happened to her? The Alpha-daughter?” he asked.

 “No one really knows,” I replied before starting to walk forward.

 After a moment, I swore I heard him mummer.

 “No one, except the ferryman and the woman herself.”

[meditativeyoga]

The evolution of consciousness

Manoj: There's a Zen quote, "Prior to knowledge: Chop timber, carry water. After enlightenment: Cut timber, carry water." In this context, just what has actually been your personal experience of enlightenment?

Andrew: In my experience, the context changed totally. Prior to, every little thing that occurred happened in a very small individual globe that was about the worries and also needs of my mental self. That has actually altered completely.

Now, it's always evident to me that my body, mind, as well as personality are just lorries whereby the energy and also intelligence that developed, and also is producing, deep space can involve with it. While earlier, "Chopping timber as well as bring water" used to be all for and also about me, now it's about everybody else.

Manoj: Generally, knowledge has been thought to be an abrupt phenomenon, like a person switched on the lights in a dark area and also every little thing is unexpectedly clear? Is enlightenment constantly sudden like that or can it be a progressive process?

Andrew: It all depends after the individual. There are several ways to get to the top of the mountain. One could take a long as well as winding path or one can, specifically these days, arrive very quickly by helicopter. In my situation, as a result of the transformative poise of my last instructor, the terrific HWL Poonja, my experience was the helicopter range. Meeting the Master resembled going through a looking glass. My life has actually never been the exact same and also I have never recalled. That being stated, I was an extremely earnest candidate for 8 years prior to I met him. I was figured out that one means or the various other, a profound and also irrevocable change needed to occur and was going to occur. So from this viewpoint, it was only an issue of time prior to it did.

Manoj: What does it cost? of a person's life in the world, inning accordance with you, is free choice and just how much is karma or destiny? Is knowledge totally a human endeavour, or does one need divine poise for it?

Andrew: All of the above! The options you make identify your destiny. Favorable as well as adverse experiences from the past, including [I believe] former lives and the method we replied to them, determine our fate. Finally, what I call the 'evolutionary impulse,' the spiritual impulse that forces us to look for out knowledge is the significance of grace itself. Unmanifest spirit offered surge to time as well as area and all of indication. The wish to exist at all is a spiritual one for sure. So by doing this, grace and greater human goals are one as well as the exact same thing.

Manoj: What's the significance of knowledge in one's everyday life? Why should any individual desire or look after knowledge? If existence has no purpose, what objective does knowledge serve?

Andrew: Enlightenment has no importance to the life of the different mental self, which is the 'daily self.' In fact, if you have the good luck to genuinely awaken for yourself, you'll realise that the concerns as well as needs of the mental self, from the viewpoint of informed recognition are, believe it or otherwise, entirely irrelevant. That claimed presence has no function? It is my firm sentence that Spirit as the Uncreated, Unborn, Unmanifest, timeless Ground of Being 'selected' to develop the universe. Exactly how do I recognize this? Due to the fact that, from our viewpoint in the 21st century, we could recall and see where we originated from-- nothing whatsoever.

God or outright Spirit need to have wished to do something after doing absolutely nothing whatsoever for endless time. That's why, when we experience the imaginative impulse in deep space vibrating as well as vibrating in our bodies and also minds, we experience an effective sense of purposefulness. When you awaken to advancement, you awaken to a profound sense of directionality that is integral in the life force, inherent in presence itself. At the reduced degrees, the objective of presence is to endure. At the highest degree, the purpose of presence is to produce. God, or Spirit, as indication is the felt desire to develop and also provide surge to that which has never existed before.

Manoj: Is the phenomenon of enlightenment beyond the 5 detects and the intelligence? Usually, enlightenment seems something that requires a high level of intelligence-- if this is real, does that mean that enlightenment is accessible only to those with a high IQ?

Andrew: Undoubtedly not. Two of Mother India's greatest realisers in contemporary history, Sri Ramakrishna and Sri Ramana Maharshi, were both ignorant men. Ramakrishna was completely uneducated as well as Ramana Maharshi didn't even complete secondary school. And yet their realisations are taken into consideration to be peerless and also beyond comparison.

Manoj: Just how does one recognize that the principle enlightenment isn't just an intellectual exercise, an indulgence of very smart minds? Long as we discuss it, the mind is engaged-- whereas the real phenomenon seems to be experiential as well as for that reason beyond exactly what words could explain ...

Andrew: Unless you have the direct experience of transcending the mind for yourself, it's tough to know the answer! Always remember, the trip to knowledge is a jump from the recognized to the unidentified. After returning to see my very own Teacher after a number of months, the first thing he claimed when I went through the door was "I'm so pleased you discovered a friend you'll never ever be able to see."

Manoj: You make a distinction between conventional knowledge and transformative knowledge. Could you explain the difference?

Andrew: Evolutionary Knowledge has to do with stiring up directly to the power as well as intelligence that created deep space as well as is developing the cosmos. The Big Bang, the development of deep space was the unimaginably effective expression of that power as well as intelligence-- and still is. The nature of just what I call the 'evolutionary impulse' is a thrilled necessity that is always only thinking about one thing: to develop the future-- to generate that which is new ... tirelessly. What I call 'Standard Enlightenment' is around awakening to the ageless, formless Being-- that prehistoric vacuum from which the entire innovative procedure arised 14 billion years earlier. Before the world was developed, there was no time as well as there was no space. That's why when you participate in a really deep state of meditation you experience such deep peace. That's since there you stir up to that deepest measurement of truth as well as of your very own self that is constantly totally free from time as well as background. The new Evolutionary Enlightenment is concerning developing the future unendingly. Typical Knowledge has to do with being devoid of background altogether.

Manoj: Isn't knowledge simply just what it is-- by labelling it as evolutionary, are you not differentiating it from the traditional enlightenment? How does it then harmonize the principle of advaita or non-duality?

Andrew: It doesn't suit the concept of advaita in all. Advaita is about transcending time and also experiencing/knowing/seeing/ being timelessness itself. And also indeed, I am really purposely distinguishing Evolutionary Enlightenment from Traditional Knowledge. Evolutionary Knowledge is a various pet altogether, because it happens in and via the moment procedure as well as is constantly just about creativity-- countless and unceasing creativity for eternity.

Manoj: If enlightenment is the peak of our consciousness, can there be anything even more than that? On reading your publication, it appears that enlightenment alone, in the typical feeling is not nearly enough, and also after traditional knowledge, [the kind which was achieved by the Buddha or Mahavira or Jesus Christ] one needs to go in advance and do more. Is this truly feasible for the typical human being?

Andrew: Thinking about that the ordinary human is not thinking about greater issues, obviously such lofty goals and also attainments are not within their reach. However the point is that in a transformative context, advancement has no end. That indicates we can always develop more, better, higher, and much deeper. In Traditional Knowledge, it's feasible to come to be 'fully enlightened.' In Buddhism, they call it 'cessation' or 'completion of ending up being.' Evolutionary Enlightenment has to do with infinite becoming for eternity.

Manoj: In your book, Evolutionary Enlightenment, you describe the Five Basic Tenets that those who walk the course should comply with, namely Quality of Purpose, The Power of Volition, Face Every little thing and also Avoid Nothing, The Process Perspective as well as Planetary Conscience. Does it imply that unless these are adhered to-- like guidelines-- evolutionary enlightenment is not possible?

Andrew: Yes.

Manoj: Just what is the influence of the recent exploration of the so called 'God Particle' by scientists on the idea enlightenment?

Andrew: No effect. The 'God Particle,' or the Higgs-Boson, regarding I recognize, is that strange subatomic bit that imbues other bits with mass and substance. The 'God Bit,' in this context, is really attempting to comprehend how matter as well as energy interact to provide kind and also framework to our universes. There's no straight relationship in between this discovery as well as higher human capacities for consciousness.

[voicesfromthelight]

A Breakthrough in Evidential Mediumship, And Some Things I Learned On The Way There

Those of you who follow my posts on a regular basis may know that as a medium and psychic, my specialty is channeling readings through my spirit guides, who read my clients’ energy fields and communicate their insights to them through me. Though I’ve always held my work to a high  standard of evidentiality, in the sense that I only consider my readings legitimate if I can intuitively communicate specific, verifiable details about my clients’ lives, more “mainstream” evidential mediumship (i.e. communicating with people who have passed on) has been more challenging for me. My theory is that the reason for this is that my guides dwell in a slightly different frequency band of the spirit world than the one from which the deceased tend to communicate. I attune myself energetically more easily to my guides.

Because of this lopsided affinity, in the interest of maintaining the best possible track record on accuracy, I have only offered human-to-deceased-human mediumship incidentally to my other readings. However, over the past couple of weeks, I have been led to clients who have had a very pressing need to communicate with the dead - in some cases, due to life-and-death situations at stake with those who have been left behind. As a result, I seem to have had a breakthrough in this area of my practice, with a personally unprecedented amount of specific evidence coming through. It has been an exciting, moving, and humbling experience. I have been astonished by some of the things that have been communicated. The fact that the need for it was especially urgent in these two cases supports my guides’ assertion that a strong motivation to establish contact, or “move the energy of information,” will contribute to mediumistic success.

The sessions have been fairly intense, since being a channeler, my most consistent method for connecting with Spirit involves a deeper, somewhat more physical state of trance mediumship than evidential mediums usually employ.  I use similar states of consciousness for this work as I do when channeling Ves and listening for clairaudient dictation, in which the individual ego takes more of a back seat than, say, in psychically reading people’s energy. However, because recently incarnated souls communicating about their lives on earth will often use physical responses in the medium’s body to relay information about things such as health issues and emotions, channeling them can be a less comfortable experience than working with guides who have been blissfully floating in the ethereal realms for much of their existence. (It remains to be seen whether I develop past this method, and get similar results from light meditation, as most evidential mediums do, but this is it, for now. I am embracing the journey!)

As in my channeling work, reports on these readings are based on transcripts of  the recorded sessions. Once the recorder is on, I set the intention for the reading, connect to my spirit guides, and have an initial conversation with them, until they tell me we are ready to go ahead and make contact with the deceased soul. Then, I greet the departed person, and wait for a clairaudient response, as well as a physical awareness of their energy (usually felt as a warmth.) When contact is established, I work to communicate and retrieve information by cycling through various lighter and deeper states of meditation, verbalizing what I hear, feel and see. It’s kind of like diving into deep, murky water (the unconscious), fishing for pearls (the information), and  then coming up to the surface just long enough to collect them into a basket (describing or expressing what I am experiencing) before diving back in.

The communications are a mix of directly channeled text, physical sensations, clairvoyant and claircognizant impressions, individual words clairaudiently introduced as evidence, and sometimes even words that seem to be channeled through an almost purely physical mediumship. Generally, the deeper the trance state, and the less I am consciously aware, the more specific and accurate the information. During the reading itself, the focus is less on understanding the information with the active mind, as it is on communicating the subtlest of details of the psychic impressions as they come in. The analysis is done later. The lovely thing about conducting mediumship in this way is that the directly channeled text offers a chance for the deceased loved one to communicate their personality, emotions, and signature expressions, which help the client recognize the spirit in question, whereas the more specific words and concepts provide concrete evidence that contact has been established, beyond the more subjective elements. This anchors the emotional healing of the communication in the reassurance offered by proof of continuity of consciousness after death. The results have been some of the best I have ever experienced in my work as a medium so far. 

I do still want to build up my consistency in this practice, and am going to continue to wait a while longer before offering these services separately. My guides, Salvador and Natalie, assure me that it won’t be long before I am ready to do so. In the meantime, however, I  thought I might share some tips on evidential mediumship that I either learned through experiencing these recent readings, or that were communicated to me by my guides while we were doing them.

First, some basic principles that bear repeating: 

1. The most important thing to learn in evidential mediumship, or any kind of channeling, is how to quiet your mind and step out of the way. Meditate, meditate, meditate. Practice shifting your consciousness into an altered state on a regular basis, until you are able to do so at will. The more easily you can access a state of openly receptive relaxation, or even a hypnagogic half-dreaming state, the more easily you will be able to receive information. Personally, much of my best information comes through when I am in a semi-deep state of trance: deep enough to have very little awareness of self, but present enough to be able to verbally express what I am seeing, feeling and hearing.

2. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Soothe your inner critic into silence. Celebrate every small success. Surrender to the process. Give every subtle detail of what you are experiencing your full attention, and make a note of it. What I have found is that even little “throwaway” utterances can be crucial when putting together the complete picture of a reading. No impression is too big, no hunch or hint is too small. Make note of them, and worry about their meaning later.

3. If something you feel, hear or see repeats itself several times throughout a reading, it’s probably important. In my latest readings, for instance, I heard the words “Lazarus” and “Queensland” over and over. I even heard “Lazarus” as I was going to bed the night after the reading, before I had confirmed its significance with my client. These turned out to be some of the most specific pieces of evidence I was able to channel: “Lazarus” was a song that had been played for the deceased person’s loved one every morning for the past several weeks, and the person I was communicating with had spent years in that part of Australia.

4. If something you are being communicated in a reading strikes you as unusual, and repeats itself in slight variations, or through different clair-senses, pay attention. In one of my readings, the person coming through kept reiterating that speaking was difficult for him. At first, I thought he was simply referring to an introverted personality. However, as I was channeling him, I began to notice a physical sensation of having difficulty verbalizing what I was saying. This struck me as strange, because I could hear his clairaudient communication as easily as any other spirit I had worked with. Later in the session, the word “Huntington” jumped out of my mouth with quite a bit of urgency, and the difficulty with speech connected all the dots.** Upon looking  up “Huntington,” I realized that the man was probably trying to tell us that he had undiagnosed Huntington’s chorea (which I couldn’t recall ever hearing of before): a hereditary illness that eventually leads to a loss of speech. In light of other details that were communicated to me after the reading itself, amazingly, it now looks like I may have actually hit on a correct diagnosis of this very rare condition. If this can be verified, it will be one of the most baffling examples of evidence I have been able to bring through so far.

5. If you can’t figure out exactly what you are seeing or hearing through your clair-senses, focus yourself, relax, feel around, breathe deeply, and keep describing verbally what you are experiencing. A general shape of a triangle might eventually reveal itself as a bale of hay, or a pyramid. If you are getting a snippet of a word, verbalize what you hear, then play around a bit with how it feels in your mouth, until it feels right. This is how I usually hit on exact names in readings. “Lazarus” repeated itself in my reading a few times in its correct form, but subsequently also came through as “Lazer” (the Yiddish version of the name) and at one point, what I thought was “lazy.”* (Ironically, the first attempt was the correct one. As my guides are fond of saying: “The first truth that comes to you, is the truth.”)

The last reading I did was especially interesting in that it was punctuated by shorthand conversations with my spirit guides, Salvador and Natalie, who not only encouraged me to trust what I was receiving, and gave me some context for what the person being channeled was communicating, but also offered suggestions on how to connect better with the subject of the session. A new concept Natalie introduced was that of connecting to the deceased through their emotional energy. Here is a passage from one of the sessions.

Natalie: “Try this: Call in his feelings - the energy of his emotions. Keep listening to what he says in full sentences - every word he says. Try, and you will be surprised! Raising your energy, and giving joyful greetings to Spirit, enable psychic knowing.  Beautiful, clear information comes through in small details. Please smile, and focus your mind. Use your psychic protection to lift yourself out of negative emotions, exciting now the energy of the heart. Please allow a warm meeting of the minds. Let go of your nervousness. Hear the misaligned wrongs that happened being blessed. Feel the energy of joy, and let the guides speak. Trust in this wonderful discipline! Let go of your preconceptions of what you should be hearing. Please ask open-ended questions, and smile! Feel the energy of joy.”

Salvador: “Yes, dear wife. Look to a manifestation of greater joy than you expected in this predicament, being communicated here. Look ahead to the future easing of the situation. Trust the advice. Just try to believe the wonderful, unexpected developments that are happening. Understand that the events are in the process of transforming. Just expect the future with psychic openness.

Emily: “How did I connect to the departed gentleman, just now?”

Salvador: “Wonderfully! Just trust your intuition, and when you begin to feel doubt, smile! It is important to hear Spirit with pleasure, and speak together with confidence. This was a legitimate conversation. It’s time to find hope, and forgive everyone. Expect a clear change in the joylessness. Surprising manifestations. Believe it, and and expect happiness and love to win out. Speak great truth. Respond to this new gift of intelligence: The unexpected instructions you are receiving. Return your focus, and concentrate on the future trajectory. Just come to the conclusion, together, that positive success is definitely accessible again in this situation.”

Emily: “Should we try to channel him directly again?”

Salvador: “Yes, dear. Bless the trust. Thank him. He will now speak of future expectations. Bring in quickly the trajectory of future success.”

From this passage, you can see the guides once again emphasizing the importance of taking joy in communicating with Spirit, to strengthen the connection. They were also trying to draw my attention to the fact that even though the session was being conducted in hopes of helping a person linked to the deceased who seemed to be in a dire situation, I should come to the reading free of any preconceptions about their future. This was, in fact, quite important in helping to piece together the information, because much of it was coming through in purely visual impressions that were later confirmed to be describing the future plans of the person in question - none of which I had been informed about. My guides were extremely helpful in framing those plans in positive terms. 

If you have studied mediumship, what are some of the most basic principles you use to help yourself connect? What would you add to my list? Let me know!

_____________________________________

*In yet another example of Spirit using synchronicity for reinforcement, right as I was reviewing this sentence in the post, in a cafe, mulling over this name, someone a few feet away from me uttered the words “Lazer vision!” 

** And yet again, the word “Huntington”  - in the form of a location - popped up during a completely unrelated work task, on the day that I confirmed that there was a possilibility that the deceased’s family had a history of this disease.

[nadziejastar]

Can we talk about true names, the recusant's sigil, and how renaming the members of Organization XIII was meant to be part of the destruction and reforging of their identities?

The Recusant’s Sigil and Xemnas’ True Goal: Filling in KH3′s Plot Holes and Proof That Isa Was Subject X

Recusant’s Sigil

Xemnas, leader of Organization XIII, gave new names to all who entered its ranks. Each name was an anagram created from the member’s original name plus the letter X.

This X is known as the Recusant’s Sigil, and has manifested itself in both obvious and insidious ways throughout Sora’s adventures.

It would be my pleasure. This is a subject that I feel incredibly passionate about. It really bothered me how this entire aspect of the story was just…unceremoniously dropped, as if it never existed in the first place. It was incredibly important to the plot. It was being built up for YEARS. The entire story now has this massive gaping hole, which makes it feel totally unfinished. Honestly, it’s really terrible storytelling.

Day 358: Goals

With luck, we can bring Roxas back into our fold, but even if Sora should awaken, as the hero of the Keyblade, he is bound to keep unlocking hearts. If he should come to target us, we need simply subdue him and use his powers ourselves once more. I must become one with Kingdom Hearts. I will become a higher existence. All of my true ambitions begin there.

I mean, all of Xemnas’s secret ambitions revolved around this concept. Without explaining this aspect of the story, none of Xemnas’ actions make any sense. Even while he was telling everyone he just wanted to regain his heart, his actual goal was to complete the artificial Kingdom Hearts for a different purpose.

Xemnas: But understand, one can banish the heart from the body, but the body will try to replace it the first chance it gets, for as many times as it takes. And so I knew, even after we were divided into Heartless and Nobodies, it was just a temporary separation.

He knew all along that Nobodies could regrow hearts. His KH2 goal was just a facade.

— Roxas, the “Sora + Ventus” Nobody, was able to use a Keyblade. In contrast Xemnas, the “Terra + Master Xehanort” Nobody, wasn’t able to use a Keyblade. Why is this?

I’d rather that point remain a mystery. It’s possible that he intentionally wasn’t using one.

Xemnas already had a heart, which is why he had the ability to use a Keyblade. He simply CHOSE not to, for some unspecified reason. This is the reason he needed Roxas and/or Xion around in the first place.

Xemnas: A heart is never lost for good. There may have been variances in our dispositions, but a number of us unquestionably showed signs of a burgeoning replacement. Once born, the heart can also be nurtured.

All the Organization members could regrow hearts. I would say that they ALL had “burgeoning replacements.” That’s why they all had distinct personalities, and why they could all “see” Xion.

Xigbar: Ha ha! Well no, apparently you don’t!

Saïx: Something you find amusing?

Xigbar: If people see with their hearts, Saïx, then you’re even blinder than the rest of us.

The only person hinted to be an exception was Saïx. Xigbar was certain that Isa’s heart was gone.

Sora: Why, then? Why did you lie to them and tell them they had no hearts?

Xigbar: Xemnas and Xehanort formed the Organization for a specific  reason–round up a bunch of empty husks, hook them up to Kingdom Hearts, then fill them all with the exact same heart and mind. Translation–they were gonna turn all the members into Xehanort.

Sora: Make more Xehanorts? You tricked your friends to… But you–aren’t you scared of just turning into someone else?

Xigbar: Me? I’m already half Xehanort.

Sora: That’s nuts…

What Xemnas actually wanted to do, was turn everyone in the original Organization XIII into Xehanort. In other words, overwrite their sense of self with his own.

Xemnas: However–through weakness of body…weakness of will…or weakness of trust–most of the original members we had chosen for the Organization were inadequate. Thus, naturally, they never had a chance to attain their goal. Yet, even this was to be expected.

Turning a unique and sovereign individual into an alter ego of Xehanort is no simple task. If the person is too weak, or they are too defiant of Xehanort’s will, it simply isn’t possible. And there are definitely not many people who would willingly sign up to become another Xehanort.

— What happens to the hearts of those who have had Master Xehanort’s heart planted within them?They’ll gradually be swallowed by it. As for Master Xehanort, he plans to control them completely. The planted parts of the heart are captured rather than disappear.

You’d have to be nuts like Braig to even consider letting your heart get swallowed by Xehanort. 

— Who are the thirteen researchers of darkness?

Thirteen seekers of darkness that share a consciousness and heart with Master Xehanort, serving as raw material for the X-Blade. In this game, they failed in their attempts to make Sora the 13th of their ranks, but who’s to become the 13th in his stead? And who are the six whose identities have not been revealed?

You lose your free will. Xehanort shares a heart and consciousness with you once he swallows your heart. As a Seeker of Darkness, you are simply “raw material”. A body. An object. A vessel. Your true self is annihilated to make room for Xehanort.

— What is the meaning of the ‘x’ in the Organization member’s names? Also, was adding the ‘x’ to their original names difficult?Nomura: It was Xemnas’s decision to add the ‘x’. I think the meaning will become clear in Birth by Sleep. Think of the circumstances of the Organization member’s names with an ‘x’ added. We came up with many name candidates the with ‘x’ added in together with the staff, we rack our brains while we consider them.

Xemnas added the Recusant’s Sigil to everyone’s name for a very specific reason.

Xehanort: “X”… A most ancient letter. Some say “kye,” but the meaning is the same. Death… A letter that spells endings.

It symbolizes the death of their original self, in preparation for them becoming another Xehanort—one of his 12 “selves”.

Day 7: Meaning

A name defines an object. Describes the span of it. Gives it purpose. We embarked upon the Replica Program to ensure our new power stays ours. Now, our shadow puppet, “No. i,” lives. It needs a name. Something to define it. To give the hollow vessel purpose.

—Xemnas

The “X” serves no purpose other than to symbolize Xehanort’s total control and authority over that person in every way. Body, mind, and heart. Quite frankly, it’s really creepy.

Saïx: Lord Xemnas has summoned us.

Xemnas: The time has arrived. Look to the skies! There hangs the heart of all hearts–Kingdom Hearts–shining down on us at last. See the countless hearts that have gathered? Hearts full of rage…hate…sadness…and bliss. There, in the sky, hangs the promise of a new world. My friends! Remember why we have organized–all the things we hope to achieve. The strength of the human heart is vast. Soon, though…we will have gained power over it! Never again will it…have power over us.

Xemnas recognized that the heart was the most powerful of all. Along with telling the Organization members that they would gain their heart back, he also promised them that they’d acquire some sort of mastery over the heart. However this idea is never explored.

Day 119: Hearts and Emotion

Watching that foolish beast flail about only deepens my disdain for humans and their incessant need to be pinned down by feelings. We became Nobodies precisely to avoid the shackles of emotion. It was only later that we realized the scale of that loss: that some things simply cannot be done without a heart. Nonetheless, I see nary a pleasant thing about it.

—Xaldin

Which members knew about the Organization’s true goal, besides Xigbar? While I doubt he actually knew the truth of Xemnas’ goal, given his rank as No. III, Xaldin is more likely than most. He willingly gave up his heart, while others clearly had it taken against their will. What exactly were members like Xaldin after? This is never explained. 

In KH3, Dilan acts all nice and happy to see Ansem the Wise. Yet he seemed very twisted and sinister, even before he became a Nobody. And KH3 backtracks on the idea that any of the apprentices had their hearts stolen. Ienzo is quick to assure the audience that they all gave up their hearts willingly, despite him being a small child at the time. How could he have made a meaningful choice regarding that matter?

— Were the members of Organisation XIII that grew hearts unsuitable as vessels for Xehanort?

That’s not necessarily the case, however the details are a secret.

Most of the Organization members were unworthy to be vessels in their natural state. That’s why Xemnas needed to complete Kingdom Hearts to achieve his aims. It’s the only way he could gain enough power to override someone’s free will and make them a vessel. Were Nobodies unusable because, despite losing their hearts, their minds are STILL too strong for Xehanort to take control of them? The exact process is never explained.

Xehanort: Your body submits, your heart succumbs–so why does your mind resist?

But since Terra’s mind put up such a fight, it’s not that hard to believe that a Nobody’s mind poses just as much of an obstacle as their heart.

Xemnas: We have learned of the heart’s folly, and we have achieved our other goals. This last excursion has proven to be a worthy closing assignment for the Organization.

Of course, the original Organization XIII was just one possible avenue that Xehanort was using. He had other plans, just in case that one fell through. This is why Xehanort was so confident while he bragged to Terra that he had “many roads open”.

Xemnas: Our experiments creating Heartless were attempts to control the mind, and convince it to renounce its sense of self.

And what did these experiments entail?

It is my duty to expose what this darkness really is. I shall conduct the following experiments:

Extract the darkness from a person’s heart.

Cultivate darkness in a pure heart.

Both suppress and amplify the darkness within.

The experiments caused the test subject’s heart to collapse, including those of the most stalwart. How fragile our hearts are! My treatment produced no signs of recovery. I confined those who had completely lost their hearts beneath the castle.

Some time later, I went below and was greeted by the strangest sight. Creatures that seemed born of darkness…What are they? Are they truly sentient beings? Could they be the shadows of those who lost their hearts in my experiments?

Manipulating the darkness in people’s hearts. This caused most of the subjects’ hearts to collapse. But why use darkness to control someone’s mind and get them to renounce their sense of self? Because if you can subject someone to trauma that is beyond their ability to cope, they will mentally dissociate in order to escape the pain. This leaves their body wide open for possession.

Riku: “Vessel”?

Xehanort: Yes. We originally had our sights set on you. But, you developed a certain…resistance to darkness. So we did what the Keyblade did, and moved down the list. Roxas… Now, there was a worthy candidate. But, unfortunately, he became too aware of himself, and returned to Sora. Organization XIII’s true goal is to divide Xehanort’s heart among thirteen vessels. Thanks to you and Sora, we learned not all our candidates were fit for the task. But, we managed to make up the difference. And now, Sora, the thirteenth vessel, is within our grasp.

Why was Roxas such a worthy candidate? Because he was a total zombie at first. He had no sense of self. Why did Sora need an “X” on his clothing during KH3D? Yes, it allowed him to be tracked, but it was also an important symbol. Terra, Aqua, and Ven all had the “X” on their clothing design. Riku happened to also have an “X” design on his KH1 outfit as well. As the new intended vessel, Sora needed it too.

Marluxia: You ignorant fool. If Naminé uses her powers to erase your memory, you’ll be nothing but an empty shell. Your heart will no longer be able to feel or to care. Just like—Vexen’s pathetic imitation of your Riku.

There’s another benefit to traumatizing a subject. If they survive the process, they will lose their memories. Memory is the main source of the ego, the “self”. Given severe enough trauma, the mind will create amnesiac barriers as a defense mechanism. This is so the person will not have to relive the memory of the trauma over and over again. 

This is why people who have been in serious car accidents usually do not remember the moment of impact, for example. To use a darker example, it’s also one of the reasons why the CIA developed Project MKUltra—a trauma-based mind control program, back in the 1950′s. In the KH universe, if person is totally devoid of memories, they are rendered an empty shell.

Marluxia: You’ve no chance of winning. Naminé… Erase Sora’s memory.

Naminé: But if I do that…

Marluxia: That’s right. Sora’s heart will be destroyed.

Going about it the wrong way risks their heart being destroyed, though. So even directly manipulating a person’s memories does not guarantee that they will become a successful vessel.

— There are still many mysteries surrounding Castle Oblivion. Was the castle itself constructed by the Organization and was Naminé originally a subject of the experiments going on there? Please tell us about the details of the Organization’s experiments. Also, was the pod Sora entered somehow related to the experiments done by the Organization? Was the pod in Twilight Town the same sort of thing?

In the end, the Organization’s goal is to obtain the Kingdom Heart’s of people’s hearts and to fully exist. These Nobodies are called “the Non-Existent Ones”. In order to assume a new existence, information about their own personal circumstances must first be gathered. A Nobody’s main characteristic is that without a heart they use memories to form the parts of a personality and emotions. For them, memories have become an essential element. The birth of Castle Oblivion itself is still a mystery but before the Organization was born into this world it was there. The Organization discovered this castle. You should be able to make some guesses from the additional scenes this time, and fairly quickly be able to think of the next stage.

At the same time Roxas awoke in Twilight Town, Naminé awoke in Castle Oblivion. Afterwards, the Organization discovered Naminé. The organization thought of Naminé’s gift to manipulate memories as a way to resolve the actual circumstances surrounding each of their abilities and attributes. The memories of those who enter were used in the experiments on memories going on there. Above all else, the Organization’s leader Xemnas was investigating the importance of memories. During these experiments, in order for these memories to be broken and then regenerated, those pods were made by the Organization. The pod Sora awoke from in Twilight Town and the pod Diz moved from Castle Oblivion to keep away from the Organization’s pursuit are the same thing. Also, there is an additional scene where Xigbar talks about the “true goal of Castle Oblivion” and when this particular scene appears, I think all mystery surrounding Castle Oblivion should become clear.

It seems like the Organization was tasked with studying memories for the same reason they were tasked with completing Kingdom Hearts. Even if they didn’t know that’s what they were doing at the time, they were furthering Xehanort’s aim to create vessels.  

I have made a grave mistake. My study of the “darkness of the heart” began with a simple psychological test and quickly snowballed. Spurred on by my youngest apprentice, Ienzo, I constructed a massive laboratory in the basement of my castle. Unbeknownst to me, my six apprentices then began collecting a large number of subjects on which to perform dangerous experiments into the “darkness of the heart.”

In fact, the darkness experiments originated as simple memory experiments. Ansem even uses quotation marks when he refers to the experiments on darkness of the heart. While he WAS interested in studying the darkness of the heart, he didn’t appear to view his experiments on Terranort that way. He was merely interested in helping him regain his lost past. It seems like Terranort’s experiments on darkness were entirely separate from Ansem’s research.

— The “Replica Plan” that was the key to this game, was it begun with Roxas’ entry into the Organization?

No, earlier than that. Originally Vexen was working privately to advance the research on Replicas, but for the Organization’s goal of completing “Kingdom Hearts of people’s hearts” they needed to use the Keyblade to recover hearts, so they switched to this plan of copying the Keyblade hero. As for who was or wasn’t told about the “Replica Plan”, that depended only on their different missions.

One other method to create vessels was to use replicas. Nomura said that they “switched” the focus of the Replica Program to copying the Keyblade wielder’s abilities. That’s not why the program was originally created. But at some point Xemnas decided to use replicas for something other than their intended function. 

Day 23: Research Entry 326

The Program is largely on target. No. i, my finest Replica, has proven an even greater success than anticipated. I intend to take the other vessel—judged unfit for number status–to Castle Oblivion, where I will subject it to further testing. One thing is clear: could these Replicas not be classified as a special sort of Nobody?

The Riku replica was the first one to be deemed a failure and unfit for number status, by Vexen himself. Why was he unsuitable as a member?

Day 194: The Replica

I thought I’d never see the word “Replica” again. Any rational man would realize the Riku Replica was not likely unique, but I’m the only one in the Organization who knew of his exceptional copying functionality, and that he ultimately formed a sense of self.

—Axel

Probably because he formed a sense of self.

Xemnas: Vexen oversaw the project at Castle Oblivion. However, our efforts were severely derailed by his unexpected demise. And this particular Replica–the one we called Xion–came to form an identity of her own.

When they are implanted with memories, even replicas will develop a sense of self. The heart and memory are inextricably linked, after all. All of this suggests that replicas were not really suitable as vessels, at least at the time of Vexen’s demise. They were more useful to Xemnas for their copying ability, and Xemnas prioritized that.

Xemnas: We wanted the Key. Xion’s exposure to Roxas effected a transfer of its power, just as we had hoped. Had things stopped there, Xion would have been an unequivocal success. But then, through Roxas, Sora himself began to shape “it” into “her,” giving Xion a sense of identity. I was ready to scrap the whole project… Then, it occurred to me: Xion is keeping Sora’s memories trapped by claiming them as her own. Keeping her close to Roxas will prevent Sora from ever waking.

After all, despite her success at copying Roxas’ powers, Xemnas admitted that he was ready to scrap the whole Replica project when Xion, like Riku, developed a sense of self. Without memories, replicas are just lifeless dolls, like the people whose hearts collapsed during the experiments, and Ventus at the beginning of BBS. They are useless as vessels. But even with memories, they are like any other person with a heart. This makes replicas no more suitable than humans as vessels. This is why it made NO sense for Xion to be the 13th vessel.

Xigbar: Sora is having a powerful effect on her.

Xemnas: Yes, it was not supposed to gain a mind of its own–nor become the person we see. But in the end, it only proves the puppet is the more worthy vessel. At last, the time has come. Saïx, are the devices ready?

Xaldin: Perhaps you’d care to enlighten us about this “pet project.”

Xion would only have been a viable vessel if the artificial Kingdom Hearts had been completed; the same as any of the other members, like Axel or Xaldin.

— Xigbar wasn’t told about it, but he seems to have found out on his own.

Even in Final Mix+, Xigbar was probing Zexion about the “Room of Awakening” - he was investigating various things on his own. He will be talked about again in Birth by Sleep.

Originally, Vexen worked alone on the Replica Program. Nobody else was told about it; not even Xigbar or Xaldin. Xemnas probably wanted to be as secretive as possible about his desire to create vessels. If any of the members found out his true goal—turning all of them into Xehanort—they would no doubt revolt. The question is, how much did Vexen know of Xehanort’s true aims? Is that why Even was so remorseful? Is that why he was kept away while Lea was looking for Isa in KH3D? Were the writers saving the confrontation between Even and Lea for later? I think so.

Goofy: Gawrsh, Lea sure hurried back to Radiant Garden, and now Master Yen Sid’s sending Riku away, too, on some mystery errand. Ya think we’ll ever get to do something important?

At the end of KH3D, Goofy says Lea hurried back to Radiant Garden. After the confrontation with Xehanort, he looked like something was really bothering him. He stood away from all of the others, completely lost in thought. His facial expression was severe. He just returned after saving Sora, who almost became the 13th vessel. He would now know what Xehanort’s current goal is…and what the original goal of Organization XIII was all along.

Every member was to become a vessel, himself included. The entire time that he was in the Organization, he was told he was working to eventually get his heart back. But that was a bald-faced lie. He could have grown a heart back at any time. Axel never trusted Xemnas anyways, and now his fears are confirmed. He just realized that he wasted the last 10 years of his life, furthering Xemnas’ plan to turn him into a human puppet. And yet, in KH3 he has nothing to say about this horrible truth.

— Comparing the Organisation members when they were human to when they were in the Organisation, apart from Xehanort, only Isa and Braig have differently-shaped ears and differently-coloured eyes - why is this?

It’s a question of whether or not they’re deeply connected to Xehanort. In Braig’s case, comparing the scene where he’s injured in his battle with Terra and flares up at Xehanort, his appearance afterwards changes, which hints that something happened with Xehanort in between.

— By the way, Braig’s dealings with Master Xehanort in Birth by Sleep make sense now, as he was to become a vessel.

There is a certain reason for Braig to proudly exclaim, “I’m already half Xehanort.” Isa (Saïx) is included too. I think you’ll understand the details about their circumstances eventually.

Furthermore, his former best friend is already a human puppet. And not only that, but he’s apparently been one for the entire time he’s been an Organization member. So, Isa either agreed to become a vessel like Braig did…or he was turned into one against his will, like Sora nearly was.

Young Xehanort: We told you. It was not the Sleeping Keyholes that guided you. They are not the reason you are here. You’ve been on a path, one we laid out for you. That sigil on your chest is the proof.

Sora: What?

Young Xehanort: See? That sigil, the X, it tells us where you are at all times. You had wondered aloud before–why we kept showing up where you were. It’s because we need you, Sora. Or, to be more precise, we need what will be left of you–the thirteenth dark vessel.

Unlike Braig, Isa has a Recusant’s Sigil carved on his face. Given this, and the fact that he was being tracked like Sora was, it would appear that he did NOT voluntarily sign up for vessel duty, like Braig did. And why would he? He was just an innocent frisbee-playing teenage boy. What did he possibly have to gain by signing over his heart and consciousness to a madman like Xehanort?

Xemnas: As your flesh bears the sigil, so your name shall be known of that as a recusant.

It’s never explained what this quote of Xemnas means, why he said it during that boss battle, or who it was referring to. Perhaps Xemnas was remembering what he did to Isa while he imagined doing the same to Sora soon. Was this quote supposed to tie into BBSV2?

I suspect that it was, but I have no way of knowing for sure. However, I do know that the only character we ever see with a Recusant’s Sigil on their flesh…is Saïx. This quote indicates that Xemnas marks a person’s flesh before he gives them a new name as a Nobody. Which is totally consistent with the idea that Isa became a vessel through the experiments. There is SO much evidence that Isa was Subject X, that it’s not even funny.

Experiments of the Heart – Notes on Subject X, Excerpt 2

Subject’s memories have not returned, and our conversations remain less than lucid. What fragments can be gleaned evoke a bygone world, like one out of fairy tales. As improbable as it seems, the question may not be where she has come from, but when. If she truly has crossed through time, the prospect of probing her heart is all the more compelling. My pilot studies used a handful of subjects, but none possessed the fortitude to endure them. Ultimately, all suffered mental collapse.

This reference to Subject X is worded almost exactly like the darkness experiments, which collapsed every subject’s heart.

As soon as I found out, I called my apprentices together and ordered them not only to cease their studies, but to destroy the results of their research thus far.

What on earth was happening within the hearts of my six beloved apprentices? While pursuing the mystery of the darkness of the heart, could they themselves have strayed into its depths? Yet I remain the most foolish of all, for having begun these experiments. We are not meant to interfere in the depths of another’s heart, no matter what our reasons for doing so…

When Ansem the Wise found out that his apprentices were experimenting on innocent people without his knowledge, he ordered them to stop and destroy the results of their research.

And my error plunged me into despair. A visitor from another world soothed my dejected soul. A tiny king named Mickey came wielding a legendary key — the infamous “Keyblade,” said to bring both chaos and prosperity to the world.

But he wasn’t banished to the Dark Realm right away. He was still able to meet Mickey and lament over his situation.

I knew it would be a heavy blow to lose a subject as unique as she. Upon discovering the tests I’ve been conducting, my master demanded that I cease my work immediately and destroy what research I have compiled. Worse still, he ordered the release of my remaining subjects. She is gone. Where is Subject X now? Has “wise” Master Ansem hidden her away? Whatever the case, I will not be deterred.

And Xehanort still had time to complain about Subject X being taken away by Ansem, who also ordered the release of all test subjects.

Recollections

Am I alive? I awoke in a cell, alone until the researchers came with their tests and their prodding to uncover my identity. I had no answer to offer them. Four friends, and a key…that is the sum total of my memory. I could not even recall my name. I was simply called “X” there. My only solace was the time I spent talking with the two boys who would visit from time to time. One day, a man came to take me from the prison. I could not see him for the darkness, save that he wore an eyepatch. Even now, years on, I feel no closer to understanding who or what I am. May my heart be my guiding key.

—Unknown

If Isa was involved in mind control experiments to get him to renounce his sense of self, then he’d be an amnesiac afterwards, just like Subject X was. The experiments on the darkness of the heart, seemed to be heavily inspired by the CIA’s infamous MKUltra program. Project MKULtra was a trauma-based mind control program, developed from research gained by former Nazi scientists. 

It used numerous methods to manipulate people’s (even children’s) mental states and alter their brain functions. These included the secret administration of drugs and other chemicals, hypnosis, sensory deprivation, isolation, verbal and sexual abuse, and other forms of torture. And in KH3, we learn that Subject X was indeed subjected to verbal abuse (being called “X” is dehumanizing), isolation, and sensory deprivation (being imprisoned in total darkness).

After his initial experiments on me, Ansem the Wise ceased his research into the heart, his hand stayed by some fear I cannot fathom. Yet this new subject is like me: devoid of memories. She is the perfect sample upon which to continue my master’s work. She, too, could benefit from it; by traversing the heart, we have a direct path into memory. I myself have begun to reclaim my lost past thanks to these very experiments.

Who is she? Whence has she come? These are questions no scientist could ignore. And the words she muttered, “May your heart be your guiding key”…

—Xehanort  

This type of torture would make sense if the goal was getting the subject to mentally dissociate. But according to Xehanort, he wanted to help her regain her memories. If she was such a valuable subject to him, and his goal was simply to learn the secrets of her past, why would he subject her to such horrible abuse? What purpose does that serve? Or are they just going to pin everything on Braig (or Luxu…) now, and wipe Xehanort’s hands of everything? 

It seems like they just directly plagiarized Isa’s Subject X backstory and did almost nothing to make it actually fit the new plot line with Skuld. They couldn’t even be bothered to change the “X” in Subject X, which has such a strong association with the Recusant’s Sigil.

If Ansem the Wise had found Isa after discovering the human experiments, he would want to help him, the same way he wanted to help Terranort. He would probably use the same experiments on him as he did on Terranort, as a way to atone for his apprentices’ actions. This would explain why Ansem Seeker of Darkness, Xemnas, and Saïx all have orange eyes.

He was very knowledgeable on many topics, and we deepened our friendship as we conversed companionably. Upon his advice, I decided to review the data obtained at my basement lab. That is when I discovered the “Ansem’s Reports.” Though they bore my name, the only one I had written was number 0. Apparently he had gone on to pen numbers 1 through 8 himself. Yes — the first subject in my foolish experiments.

The apprentices didn’t decide to banish Ansem until he found “Ansem’s Reports” after he met King Mickey.

Xigbar: How long ago was it… When a bunch of warriors wielding key-shaped swords appeared and unleashed a spectacular battle. And when it was all over, all that was left was a man lying unconscious without his memories. Xemnas–Uh, I mean Xehanort, was found by Ansem right around then, wasn’t he?

Zexion: Your point?

Xigbar: The “Chamber of Repose”. If you recall, that’s where we spent our time researching the darkness that resides within people’s hearts. It’s a graveyard that was sealed by order of Ansem the Wise. The first thing Xemnas did once he got rid of him was to undo the seal and build a room in the back.

After Ansem is banished to the Realm of Darkness, Xemnas unseals the “graveyard”, and creates the Chamber of Repose.

— KH’s Ansem (Xehanort) seems to have thoroughly gotten rid of his own heart, but Xemnas (Xehanort) commanding Organization XIII is seeking a fresh heart. If I understand that in becoming a heartless and a nobody, they became 2 different people, would their minds then as well become separate? Also, the original Xehanort should have some memory loss but in the additional scenes this time there seem to be some questionable parts. Have his memories returned, or perhaps the memory loss itself was a lie?

In essence, the two are the same. However, they function under separate minds.

Despite being the Nobody of both Terra and Xehanort, Xemnas is another self of Xehanort. He is simply acting under a different mind from “Ansem”. Thanks to Ansem the Wise’s experiments on the heart and memory, he fully recovers from his amnesia and remembers Master Xehanort’s goal to create the X-Blade and 13 vessels. He ALSO has full access to all of Terra’s memories now, despite Terra’s heart being captured.

Xigbar: Ever since then, he holes himself up in that room when he can, and he talks to someone.

Because of this, Xemnas knows exactly what Terra would think, how he would act, and what he would say in any given situation. He is able to impersonate Terra perfectly. It works. He talks to Aqua, and she almost tells him where Ventus is hidden.

— So then, why is Xemnas of Organization XIII searching for Ven?Well, there’s still some time between the ending of ‘Birth by Sleep’ and ‘KHI’, so…

Somehow, Xemnas became aware of Ven’s situation. Aqua has hidden him away. His heart is not broken. He still has the potential to be used as a vessel. In fact, he’s a perfect candidate. He’s asleep, therefore he has no sense of self, and his heart is still intact. Xemnas becomes obsessed with finding him.

Nomura: It is a fact that Saïx and Axel probably wanted to take over the Organization, however they didn’t understand what they were going to do or how to do it. As for Xemnas, he knew about this betrayal, but never brought it up. Generally, one’s conduct was for the sake of their purpose.

Likewise, since Ansem the Wise also performed the memory experiments on Isa, his Nobody, Saïx–still another Xehanort—now has access to all of Isa’s memories as a human. And since Xehanort shares a heart and consciousness with Saïx, Xemnas has access to them, as well. He knows ALL about their plans to overthrow him. But he does nothing about it. Even though Axel went against direct orders and assassinated Vexen, who was spearheading the Replica Program.

Xemnas knows how loyal Axel is to Saïx. If Axel believes Saïx is his old friend, he will tell him confidential information that he wouldn’t tell anyone else. Xemnas has access to Saïx’s mind, so he’d be privy to everything Axel tells him. So Xemnas simply allows Saïx to think he’s Isa, and he allows Axel to believe the same. It’s perfect, really. Axel was a double agent, but he’s being played even harder by Xemnas. He’s NO threat to Xehanort. Just a useful tool.

Vexen: The dark power given to Riku facilitated his escape from its realm.

Zexion: What I want to know is why he appeared here in Castle Oblivion.

Vexen: That’s really quite simple. His existence resonates with that of another hero.

Since Axel was getting closer and closer to Roxas, he kept getting sent back to Castle Oblivion to search for the Chamber of Waking. Xemnas hopes that Axel will resonate with Ventus, leading him to the chamber.

— Is it possible that Roxas has a heart?It is thought that it could be Ventus’ heart. In KHII FM there were clues to him having a heart, and in Days we saw Roxas crying proof that he could have a heart. As was said in Question 1, he has taken a lot of himself from Ventus. But perhaps when Sora and Roxas were separated, Ventus’ heart stayed in Roxas.

However, since Ven’s heart was actually inside of Roxas, Axel never finds the chamber. This is why Roxas and Ventus having separate hearts makes NO sense whatsoever. Roxas simply being an alternate persona of Ventus was fundamentally tied into the main plot and the Chamber of Waking.

Xigbar: “You’re not supposed to be here!”

Lea: “Promises to keep. I’ll always be there to get my friends back. What, bad timing? You had your perfect little script, but you kinda forgot to write the sequel. Now, let’s find out what happens!”

Xigbar: “What now, you old coot? Our time is up!”

Lea: “Isa!”

In addition to their plans to overthrow him, Xehanort knows exactly how close Lea and Isa were as humans. His smirk showed that he knew exactly how to throw Lea off-guard in KH3D. He’d transfer his consciousness into just the right vessel, and use Isa to attack him.

Xemnas: The poor fool. How long will he keep chasing the illusion of friendship, when he himself lacks emotion? Trying so hard to retrieve what he has lost, when it may never have existed in the first place. He deserves nothing more than our pity.

When Axel finally turns on the Organization in pursuit of Roxas, Xemnas apparently finds it amusing. He’s STILL chasing the “illusion” of friendship. He speaks as if Axel has been chasing an illusion for years and years, long before Roxas ever joined up. Xemnas finds Axel utterly and thoroughly pitiful.

Xemnas: “Ah, ever the rogue pawn. Knocked from the board early in the game. Utterly useless and forgotten.

I have no doubt that Xemnas was referring to Axel’s relationship with Saïx here as well. Saïx may have refused to attack Lea, which no doubt angered Xemnas. After all, he hates that the heart is so powerful, even he can’t fully control it. Nonetheless, as far as Xemans is concerned, the real Isa is still dead. Lea is utterly useless and he’s been forgotten about. At least he gets to rub that in the dirty traitor’s face. The entire time Xemnas is fighting Lea, Saïx doesn’t move.

He just stares as the camera focuses on his face. Xemnas then destroys Lea’s Keyblade, leaving him totally helpless. As Xemnas approaches Lea to finish him off, the camera positions Saïx to be between them. Xemnas also turns his back to Saïx, both literally and figuratively. This positioning sends a subtle, yet powerful message. Xemnas believes he is fully in control of the situation. He is not the slightest bit worried about the person standing behind him.

Xemnas: Our plans have been dashed by you…far more times than I care to count.…Now it ends. I will purge that light in you…with darkness!”

When Xemnas is about to finish Lea off, Saïx should finally have taken action and been the one to defend him from Xemnas’ attack. NOT XION!!!! I just cannot emphasize this enough. This was the moment of truth for Saïx. The story spent years building up to it. This moment would have proven that the real Isa was still there, and that his heart never forgot his best friend Lea…

Isa: “Well, you may be a really small part of my memories, but at least you’ll never disappear.”

…Exactly like he promised him all those years ago. This single moment encapsulates the fundamental idea behind Isa’s entire character arc. Saïx has the Recusant’s Sigil carved directly on his face. The X-shaped scar is a symbol of his total submission to Xehanort’s will and authority.

But a “recusant” is defined as a person who refuses to submit to authority or comply with a regulation. This was Isa’s CROWNING MOMENT. The very moment that he would earn his place eating ice cream and playing on the beach with everyone in the epilogue.

I’m sorry, but Xion had ABSOLUTELY NO BUSINESS stealing that moment from Isa. It made SO little sense for her to be there, anyways. And now we’re being asked to dish out even more money through DLC…to learn why she arrives just in time to ruin Isa’s entire character arc? Um…thanks, but no thanks. I’m not paying a dime for that. The creator of Xion is also the writer of the KH novels. And I would bet that even she is appalled at what became of the story. Based on the novels, I could tell she respected Lea’s relationship with Isa just as much as she respected his relationship with Xion.

[fitdietpills]

OK, Health should be segmented by category but it isn't always done. You should alter your Health. Maybe I may be surprised by Health. I, sadly, have to be doomed to fathom Health. Indeed, "To thine own self be true." It is true when we look at it on a large scale. We had a spectacular time. Hey, like my classmate maintains, "Stop, look and listen." Nonetheless, where do you begin when it matches Health? You know I must not try to fend off this ASAP. Notwithstanding that, I'm waiting in the wings. They're going to have big shots striving against this wherever prior to tonight's announcement, more than a couple of buffs pondered aloud as to it. That is what to do when that happens. Whereby do collaborators make use of select Health cautions? One factor to keep in mind is that Health is not always noticeably better. Allow me tell you something. There are plenty of practices you should avoid with Health. These guesses might seem like small potatoes to a majority of rich people. Most Health brands also have a limited variety of Health. Health is a very refreshing item to me. Actually this gave me the opinion. What sort of Health are they going to use? I had always found that if I actually made less Health that I would get more Health. I was stricken by Health when I first saw it. It is your responsibility to take care of your Health. Health looks like it will be another fashion victim. I can be as quick as a bunny. That's a detailed report. I've dodged that dilemma so far. Rest assured, this story about Health is a parable of sorts. You can see them by the bucketful. I believe it is the best way to locate Health. It needs to be taken out of the equation. I was dismayed at this bit of Health information. I take it on faith that getting Health is the way to go. Occasionally you might feel like you're not doing everything you should be doing in order that this is my cheery little thought that keeps me going. Health is an underutilized asset. Sure, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." Health, according to my reports, was most likely just made in Italy. It represented a large savings. I am not denying that as this touches on Health. Health gives me the creeps occasionally. What happens when Health does not work anymore? Health is one of the most enjoyable endeavors that anyone can participate in. Let's take the time to filter what Health information is worth reading online. It's an example of how I would go about that. When you're searching for a specific Health, you can easily run to wholesalers to locate what you need. This could be an entertaining adventure. It is time for us to embark on a Health journey. Certainly, I'm not looking for this. How do visitors hit upon moderately priced Health solutions? It is a shock to the system how sidekicks mustn't justify a complicated transaction like Health. You may ought to give Health several thought. They have exacting standards. Why do I desire to provide something that provides so little knowledge as it touches on Health? The demand for Health wasn't increasing. I would like to tell you that I really like Health and this is a secret. There are a lot of common enigmas. I feel that will outlast the previous one. Even if you're a Health pro you cannot lose the fun in Health that you had initially.

This is a swift moving situation. According to a recent NBC News survey, Health is deemed crucial to satisfaction. Let's see if we can get more specific than this. I don't have a clue. It has been a sensational experience. You cannot have success at Health if you do not have the right equipment. We actually can't persuade someone. It one is going to be a real joy ride. Health reinforces Health. I got a spiff. This is how to get a private Health.

I'm working with a tight deadline. It isn't applicable to Health. Health is unmatched in today's market. If you're like a number of pros, it's hard to make ends meet. This is all in your head. Just for you, I give you the outdated feelings respecting Health. There may be a few very awful things around there.

Health is one of the most acclaimed types of Health. I'm getting me another do. This is such a waste of time. It comes with the territory. Health is a little off topic but within the scope of Health. Why should I insist on more apropos to Health? I, passionately, do catch onto Health. I'm not a real Health guru but I give it my all. I certainly disagree that we couldn't assume everybody likes Health. Leave no stone unturned when it is on par with Health but health is available at Health store. It's not different than getting Health. I'm contented with that. I'll be completely honest with you as this touches on Health. In truth, "Don't always look at the glitzy and the glamorous."

CBS News explained how to do this with Health recently. It decision is up to you. You could, at the very least, be prepared to make a Health statement. I'm running at high efficiency this afternoon.

It's a curable enigma. Why should one go through that effort for Health? I might need to be open minded about that. What does Health really mean to me? That doesn't say anything but that's the blueprint. That could effectively torpedo any chance you have with Health.

It wasn't where I commonly go for Health. Health was offered by many dealers at that time.

We'll take advantage of this. I agree with what you're thinking. I'd select this each and every time. This is a valid threat. If I'm going to clarify a good many points, we need to do it in that way. I'm happy about what they've done to Health. It is where the rubber meets the road. Health means a lot to chaps in all walks of life. I've had a few teeth grinding moments recently. I think that is a good, brief, look into Health. Convincing others about that touching on Health is a hard job. Health has no practical value.

Some of my friends were excited in the matter of Health. There's certainly a greater focus now. In some cases, it's quite probable that no results are seen. I recommend that you begin this evening with Health. We need to analyze that the most vital conditions you need when it relates to Health.

You can blame a lack of taste on recruits. This was a logical addition. This has been a crazy trip. Honestly, that's the one.

It can only come from doing your homework in order to locate the best Health. In a number of instances, your Health can become your best friend. Once you have found a Health that you are interested in then you need to read about that. Obviously, I'll be staying out of it. I'm on solid Health ground now. That isn't guaranteed. They have an uncanny ability in this area. All you have to do is make sure that you are getting a Health this is going to be suitable for you. I will leave no stone unturned and that's a small price to pay.

A man is known by the company he keeps.Health gives me a headache. They are the experts and they should be able to answer all of your Health questions.

We promise to take care of it for you. You can't do this without spending any moola. I had the same example. This is the latest gossip. Before I describe it, permit me give you a good many background.

On the other hand, this is concrete info. Health will help me change the world in my own little way. That was as good as gold. This is never to be forgotten.

We often seem to analyze Health in sort of a vacuum. Listen, those of you who know me know that I love Health. That is the tough part of a Health that empowers a disposition for a Health. I'm actually very mean. Don't worry relevant to this. I may not be Trust me, right regarding this. I don't need a Health which looks as good as Health. Why do I express this? Health demands one to be a slave to Health. These are the essential things you should be doing.

By what program do aces access the choicest Health solutions? It was only natural for me to be interested in Health.

I have become a stumbling, bumbling joke. This is a common misconception. There are many hoary attitudes in this area of interest. It was a jaw dropping result. I believe I'm providing a solution for Health. I had a bit of insider insight from a friend who had worked for them a while ago. It is wrong to guess of Health as being irrelevant yet this article reveals all bordering on Health. It's how to get a Health of your very own. I recently spent the best part of a month with Health. Just remember that to be successful with Health means investing time. It is dingy as soon as health makes for a rare Health due to this. I don't notice any clear message in relation to Health. It is a difficult payload. Health looks good so far. That's insane! That's the framework we have for Health as long as it is interesting to figure out more as it concerns Health. Fit Diet Pills I suppose this is time for a bowl of ice cream and a pizza. Simply because I had a flaccid outcome with Health doesn't mean that I won't assist you. I suppose that is exceeding your expectations. Perhaps you're considering this part of Health. The very vital design of Health allows for Health. What's not to like in connection with Health? There's incredibly little chance for you to be blindsided by this. That is a crucial point. At the same time, that sort of Health is abundant especially during certain weeks because I wonder though about the stability of Health. For goodness sake! I could be right, however although health is so much more than what Health started out as years ago. What I'm getting at is you might want to tell all about this theory that reveals problems with Health so poorly? Health is a practical procedure to increase the power of Health. But, then again, "Nothing succeeds like excess." They threw a wet blanket on my Health belief. You will have to defeat your competition when I'm in mundane company. However, "He that is master of himself will soon be master of others." Doing that will keep one from dreading Health. I had to bargain over the price with them. I just promised I'd throw it in. Let's make a short story short. That's the time to use your Health. I'm back on the job again. Health could be dangerous. They're just attempting to make ends meet (I've already helped plenty of other old hands). Health is a little pricey in most cases but it might be worth the price. I heard that through the grapevine. Surely, you get what you ask for. I don't care what you suspect. This is only true in the long run. So it is? Another urgent aspect of having a Health is your Health. We still have a few things to work out in reference to Health. That should be as clear as crystal. Do they understand that time is limited? It's many free advertising for your Health. I wonder if the rumors will affect Health positively. NPR lately published a series as that relates to Health. https://www.fitdietpills.com/

[hirohamadugh]

THE ENHANCED

 Part 1 | Part 2! | Part 3 | Visual of Issac

Suddenly, everything was happening at once. The capsule doors slid open to reveal Issac to the world, and to reveal the world to Issac. His eyes flew open as he urgently gasped his first breaths, ripped out of his peaceful stasis and thrust into being. Chris and Liv caught Issac’s body as he stumbled out of the chamber in a gangly and uncoordinated way, well-versed in the symptoms of sudden life before.

“Breathe,” Liv coerced, as the boy was still sucking in air frantically and posed himself the risk of hyperventilation. He’d only been alive for less than a minute, and it had already been so overwhelming that he passed out. She tore her gaze away from her newest creature, making eye contact with Chris to obtain his attention. “Lower him to the ground. Let the overstimulation pass before we try to teach him anything.”

The two gently dropped Issac’s body until he laid flat on his back, breaths finally starting to teeter into the heavy-but-unthreatening phase. He may have been a newborn, but Issac was no infant: all subjects of the Living Immunity Vectors program were born as fully formed young adults.

“Help me dress him,” the blonde woman ordered, tossing a pair of gray joggers to her assistant as she wrestled the boy into a perfectly color-matched crewneck with the Sycorax double-stranded helix logo embossed on the chest. Kneeling beside him on the ground now, Liv began checking over his physical attributes to see if anything had gone obviously wrong in the altered genetic coding, but was pleased to find no anomalies. Chris was silent once he’d finished his part as well, staring at the boy whose eyes dazedly opened and began to search every little aspect of the room. Looking between the two men, it was clear they were related somehow, but not to any great length. They had the same physical build, hair texture, and facial structure, but that seemed to be where the similarities stopped. Chris’s complexion was much fairer than Issac’s, Issac’s eye color was brown vs. Chris’s hazel, the older boy’s hair was blonder and shorter… The list went on and on, and the more Chris stared, the more differences he noticed.

“Issac,” Liv spoke, very eager to see if her latest trials proved a success or not.  “Can you understand me?”

The tanned boy just stared blankly back at her as she spoke, a lack of concentration obvious as his attention easily sidetracked to the control panels quietly beeping and flashing as always. “Issac!”

When he failed once again to respond, Liv rolled her eyes, annoyed that her hope had been squashed. “Whatever,” she huffed, very rapidly losing interest now that he was just another in vitro case study, no better than her last improvement. “Chris, carry him to his room with Hailey and prep the first coordinated movement lesson for in an hour. I want Elliot keeping an eye on him to ensure he doesn’t enter a state of panic, and to let me know if there’s any sort of worry whatsoever.”

“Wait, what do you mean my room with me?”

Both Liv and Chris froze, as the boy who was born less than five minutes ago just asked a fully functional and correct syntax sentence in a language he was never taught. Their gazes bore deep into Issac’s soul, as he propped himself up into a sitting position. “What??” He asked, knitting his eyebrows down in confusion on why they were looking at him as if he were a ghost.

“Hailey,” Chris said, making the connection.

“Yes??”

“Of course he would respond to Hailey!! It worked!” The blonde woman hugged her assistant out of glee, while Issac pushed himself off the ground and up into a standing position.

“Is there something I’m missing here, Ms. Amara?”

Liv was near tears, and turned to place her hands on Issac’s shoulders in an almost loving way. “You’re not Hailey,” she breathed out quietly, which was met with a face of extreme confusion from the newborn. “You’re Issac. You’ll understand soon enough.” The tender moment over, she turned to her assistant: “Make sure his acclimatization finds him well, will you? Get him caught up on everything she’s learned since upload so they can be taught together. I want his baseline vitals recorded tonight as well. I’m going to go record this in his file.”

Chris took the other male’s forearm and began to redirect him towards the living quarters. Somewhere deep inside himself, Issac knew where he was going, but he couldn’t quite visualize it completely. “What does she mean, I’m Issac?”

The blonde man smiled sympathetically, stealing a glance over as he continued to walk. “You probably don’t have complete access to all your memories yet. Hailey,” Issac’s head instinctively popped up at the girl’s name, still failing to dissociate her from himself, “She’s the one who was born before you. She’s a couple months old now. She’s learned how to walk, how to talk, how to behave in general, some basic biology concepts…” Chris trailed off, before stopping and putting his hand on Issac’s shoulder. “It’s taken her all this time just to learn that, you know? Despite the fact we all learn incredibly fast for humans, it still takes a long while.” He touched his own temple, a small gesture for any normal-grown adult, but incredibly advanced of a social nuance for someone who’s less than 2 years old like himself.  “She allowed us to extract, replicate, and upload her consciousness into you so we didn’t have to waste all that time and energy teaching you the basics.” Chris turned and began his brisk pace once more, leading the other boy around a bend as he continued to explain. “Maybe you’ll get them all, maybe you won’t, but the fact you’re talking and walking and understanding… That’s all really promising.”

           Issac stared at his hands as he listened to the older boy, fixated on the minor details. While what Chris was explaining sounded ridiculous, he did have a sense of Déjà vu while the assistant had been describing it. In addition, his fingers were thicker than he remembered them being, plus his body was more boxy in general; this would add up if Chris was telling the truth, and he really was a new person in a new body. “So my memories… aren’t mine?”

           “Not exactly. But from here on out they are!” Chris smiled oh-so-cheerily as he dexterously input his biometrics on the reader that disabled the semi-transparent gate into what would become Issac’s new home. Inside he saw a girl sitting on her bed, she was wearing the exact same outfit as he and reading from a tablet. Issac instantly recognized her. That’s me. I mean Hailey. I guess not me.

           As soon as the cell was disabled, the girl’s attention immediately fixated on the two men, and she smiled slightly. Jumping down from her bed, Hailey tossed the tech haphazardly onto it and walked right up to her new roommate, as everyone but Chris lived in pairs. “So, you’re Issac,” she stated matter-of-factly, tilting her head slightly in examination of the new boy’s facial features.

           “So I’ve been told,” he replied, having a minor out-of-body experience due to seeing what he thought was himself standing and talking right in front of him. “Thought I was you, but I’m not.”

           Hailey cracked a small laugh, and her smile instinctively made him show one in return. “So I see the uploading-thing worked! Very exciting…” She pursed her lips, kicking one foot lightly before refocusing on Chris. “And… Very sorry for all those involved that there will now be two of me!”

           The blonde boy chuckled, and Issac didn’t fully understand why, but nevertheless he felt the need to do the same as if he got the joke. “Should make it easy to get along,” Chris mentioned, before crossing the room to the other, neatly made bed that lay opposite of Hailey’s. “Issac, this is your bed, your wardrobe is,”

           “Over there,” Issac interrupted, pointing to the sliding door that conjoined he and Hailey’s closets, which were both unsurprisingly filled with more grey outfits like the ones they wore. “I’m remembering,” he stated bluntly, walking to the back of the room where the restricted-access CPU and medical recording instruments were set up. “Ms. Amara said she needed my vitals, right? Are you taking them, or is…” Issac pinched the bridge of his nose, tongue peeking out from the corner of his mouth as he desperately tried to grasp at a taunting memory of Hailey’s morning check-ins for the name of the man who performed them.

           “Elliot?” Hailey offered, pleased to see he was already remembering details from her life.

           “Yes!” Issac exclaimed, to which Chris nodded.

           “I’ll go get him to take your baseline stats. Be right back.” The blonde man walked out of the room, and thanks to the floor sensors detecting his biosignature leaving, the honeycomb-esque field was secured once more, keeping the two subjects where they were supposed to be.

           “How are you feeling?” Hailey broke the silence between them, walking over to where Issac was inspecting the sphygmomanometer cuff. “I can remember it was… Scary, when I was born. Not knowing where or what anything is. Just seeing Ms. Amara and Chris staring down at me, like I was a circus monkey and they wanted me to do a trick or something.”

           “It was very strange to see things you’ve never seen before… Yet remember them.” Issac turned to look at her, noticing she must’ve been pretty buff to look so strong despite all their loose clothing.

           “I know,” she confessed, shoving her hands in her pockets due to not knowing what to do with them. “I was one of the failed attempts to do this to. They tried with Gabriel, the guy born before me, tried uploading him to me, but I only ever got small bits and pieces, so it was hard with a sense of both familiarity and newness to get adjusted.” She averted her gaze for a moment, feigning to check if the older boys had returned. “Chris was the first one of us ever, although sorry if I’m just repeating what you already recall. I wonder what it was like for him.” She refocused on the new boy, pressing her lips together slightly in thought. “He was never really like the rest of us, though. He’s always been allowed upstairs.”

           “And what’s upstairs?” Issac asked, genetic predisposition to curiosity and answering questions making themselves prominent.

           “The world,” Hailey replied, a small and almost sad smile across her face. “If we work hard enough and prove ourselves like he has, we can start actually working for Sycorax up there too.” She fiddled with her umber colored braid to avoid overthinking the possibilities, knowing very well she was way ahead of herself in thinking about those kinds of things. “It’s a biology place, though, so we need to get really good at that first before anything happens. Do you remember anything I’ve learned about biology?”

           “I know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

           Hailey let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head just a bit at his first jumped-to fact. “You’ll do fine, I’m sure of it. I’m glad you were at least able to be the protégé that I was not!”

           “Not to sound rude, since I’ve had probably a whole 35 minutes of socialization practice-so bear with me, but why do you care?” Issac mirrored the pose she had taken earlier, with his hands in his own pockets now. “Why do you want me to succeed? Why me?”

           The girl looked away, afraid to open up Pandora’s box of voids she was trying to fill. “You… After they asked me about possibly doing the upload, I peeked into your ongoing file and cross-compared it to my own. You and I share 72.18% of our DNA.” Hailey looked at him now, and he could see the sense of hope and longing in her eyes. “Look,” she said, bending over to the restricted database beside them and shutting off the monitor, leaving just a reflective black screen staring back at them. “Do you see how much we look alike?”

           Leaning over to peer into the haphazard mirror as well, Issac saw it. He and Hailey had the same exact eyes, the same hair color, the same complexion, it was almost uncanny. He had a slightly more robust stature, she had a teensy bit thinner eyebrows, but besides minor details the two looked like they were copied and pasted onto each other. “The closest relatedness of anyone else of the enhanced is Elliot and Faye, and even that is only about 54%. The rest of us range from mid 20s to early 40s.” She placed her hand atop his on the back of the chair, her dark eyes piercing him with a sense of utter care and a bit sense of self as well. “Issac, I care because… well, you’re the closest thing to a brother I will ever have. And there’s nothing more important to me than my family.”

[didanawisgi]

Today, we begin with a new Full Measure poll on the national news media. As you might expect: the results aren’t very good. For the media. Whether it’s coverage of the Russia investigation or the Covington High School kids, news consumers on all sides of the political spectrum report declining trust — in us. We turn to two experts to analyze the current Media Madness.

Sharyl: One need only sample lowlights from a single month to get a sense of the problem.

In January, a Seattle Fox affiliate aired a doctored video of President Trump.

President Trump: Some have suggested a barrier is immoral.

Buzzfeed: The comparison which shows Trump with an altered face and a looped licking of his lips

The same month, Special Counsel Robert Mueller refuted a BuzzFeed bombshell that falsely claimed Trump directed his ex-lawyer to lie to Congress.

And a January article about Melania Trump in the Telegraph was followed by seven corrections an apologyand an undisclosed payment to Mrs. Trump. One-sided narratives presented virtually unchallenged. National news quoting anonymous sources that turn out to be wrong.

The headline contains the most devastating part: President Trump directed his attorney to lie to congress.

The same month, Special Counsel Robert Mueller refuted a Buzzfeed bombshell that falsely claimed Trump directed his ex-lawyer to lie to Congress.

The Washington Post took us “Inside theBattle Over Trump’s Immigration Order”— only to later admit the article misreported Trump’s actions, a reported meeting had not actually occurred, and a conference call hadn’t happened as described.

FBI Director James Comey debunked a New York Times article about supposed contacts between Trump campaign staff “senior Russian intelligence officials.”

And NBC News reported that Russian President Putin said he had compromising information about Trump. Actually, Putin said the opposite. It’s been a bad few years for media credibility.

A new Full Measure poll conducted for Full Measure by Scott Rasmussen finds: 42% of Americans believe national political news coverage is inaccurate and unreliable. Fewer— 38%—believe it’s accurate and reliable. And 52% say it’s worse compared to five years ago.

National political reporters also get poor scores. Only 26% of those polled say reporters carefully report the facts. 57% say reporters use news stories to promote their own ideological agenda.

Pollster Scott Rasmussen:

Rasmussen: We asked about national political reporters are, are they credible, are they reliable? And you know, a little more than one out of three people say yes. When we ask about Wikipedia, we get the exact same answer. So what's happening is we have a world where people look at journalists like they look at Wikipedia. “Gee, that's an interesting fact. I better check it myself.”

Sharyl: And what does that tell you?

Rasmussen: The media has a huge credibility problem and it's always had the problem. Oh, we talk about it differently today. Now we talk about it as a political bias. I think the issues have always been there. I mean, people were complaining about the bias of Walter Cronkite back in the 1960s.

Sharyl: People forget about that.

Walter Cronkite: For it seems now more certain then ever that the bloody experience in Vietnam is to end in a stalemate.

Sharyl: It is often argued that Donald Trump created this media environment where everybody hates the media. And then others say he simply understood that environment, and capitalized on it. Which is it you see?

Rasmussen: Oh, people have hated the media for a very long time

Trump: Fake news folks, fake news. Typical New York Times fake stories.

Rasmussen: Donald Trump capitalized on it. He understood it, but he's not the first to do so. The first President Bush when he was campaigning, he actually got kind of aggressive with, I think it was Dan Rather, during an interview because a lot of Republicans weren't sure he had the fire to, to be president.

President Bush 1: It's not fair to judge my whole career by a re-hash on Iran. How would you like it if I judge your career by those seven minutes when you walked off the set in New York? Would you like that?

Rasmussen: So he capitalized on that. But all you're doing is tapping into a sentiment that's already there and Donald Trump is playing them but beautifully

Rasmussen says his polling found a good recent example of how many today have come to regard— or disregard— the national media. The Covington High School pro-life students’ confrontation with a Native American activist at a Washington DC protest.

Rasmussen: When the story broke, of the students from Covington high school, we went out and polled right away when the story first broke and ask people what they thought. And as you would expect, liberals and conservatives had different views of whether the high school students acted inappropriately or somebody else did.

Sharyl: So to summarize, liberals probably thought the high school students who were pro-life behaved inappropriately and aggressively.

Rasmussen: Yes.

Sharyl: And Conservatives thought the Native American was the one who is inappropriate.

Rasmussen: Yes. And by the way, conservatives also thought the media was inappropriate.

ABC news: A group of teenagers, some Catholic high school students, seen wearing Make America Great Again hats, appearing to face off with Nathan Phillips – a 65 year old Native American.

Rasmussen: And then we had a week's full of coverage. And as you recall, there was a lot more coverage that came out, uh, about the incident. A lot more videos and a lot more information. And a week later, nobody's opinion changed.

Sharyl: I’m surprised by that because some reporters and in media even apologized that they had been too hard on the children at first or the high school students without knowing the full story.

Whoopi Goldberg: So many people admitted they made snap judgements before all these other facts came in.

Sharyl: But you're saying the public at large, didn't change their mind?

Rasmussen: That's correct. The public at large made up their mind. They knew their sources

Sharyl: But the most overwhelming results came when we asked about the motivation of political reporters.

Rasmussen: 78% of voters say that what reporters do with political news is promote their agenda. They think they use incidents as props for their agenda rather than seeking accurately record what happened. Only 14% think that a journalist is actually reporting what happened.

Sharyl: Most people also seem to think reporters cannot be fair when it comes to their chosen political candidate.

Rasmussen: if a reporter found out something that would hurt their favorite candidate, only 36% of voters think that they would report that.

Sharyl: So most people think the reporter would cover it up because they like the person?

Rasmussen: Right, exactly. So voters are looking at them as a political activist, not as a source of information.

Sesno: An actual report or professional reporter would yeah never do that.

Frank Sesno is a former CNN correspondent and bureau chief. As head of the School of Media and Public Affairs at The George Washington University, he routinely confronts declining public trust in the media.

Sesno: The public understands fundamentally what journalism should be. They don't understand how it's actually practiced. And that falls to news organizations in my view, to be more creative, more imaginative about how they're engaging with their publics, to both explain what they do to defend what they do when it's controversial and to be accountable for what they do if it's wrong.

Sharyl: After 2016 when so many of us got the election so wrong, we promised a period of self-reflection and correction, have we done it?

Sesno: No, not enough. If we had done the self-reflection and correction better and more deeply, there would be more reporters reporting from more places across the country talking to more diverse audiences. We would not be so in tiredly focused at least in certain media channels and places on the Trump administration and the outrage of the moment. That being said, there is so much news from this administration. It's kind of hard not to do that.

Trump: If we don’t get what we want, I will shut down the government.

Sharyl: In the era of the Trump presidency, can you point to a couple of things you think the media has done right

Sesno: I would start, actually, in the Trump era by calling out NPR. I think NPR has done an exceptional about getting outside of Washington and engaging other voices and people from different sides of the ideological divide to get their sense of what's happening. would call out the New York Times and the Washington Post for making remarkable use of multimedia. So there's a lot of good journalism and good media that's taking place also that, that extends beyond the Trump administration. There is such a thing as beyond the Trump administration.

It may not seem like it as we move quickly into campaign 2020.

Sharyl: I guess we should warn people, hang on to their seat belt with 2020 campaign coming. What do you foresee in terms of media?

Sesno: Yeah, so here's the next danger. The next is everybody for walks right off the cliff of coverage like they did last time. Obsessing over, you know, the, the candidate du jour, the moment, du jour. How will the media be able to arbitrate this mass of people who all want to be president so that the audience can follow it with some degree of clarity, and so that you neither fall into an oversimplified narrative, or a narrative that just revolves around the melodrama of who's up, who's down, and who's making the most noise or tweeting the most.

You can find my list of Media Mistakes in the era of Trump at SharylAttkisson.com