#I prob need to spend a lot more time by myself even though i already do

[luvrubi]

i always want to share things (music, new discoveries, anything really) with my friends but i have formed a habit of not sharing anymore because usually i am alone in my feelings.

[drewsaturday]

lottie ramblings

what kills me is they probably did soften lottie to backtrack on villainizing the schizophrenic but i really wish there'd been a way to have her be a compelling antagonist without it going down that road. i don't feel like i know enough to comment on how they could've better done things, so maybe i'm making an ass of myself.

but... i feel disappointment on how they backtracked and disappointment on the driving antagonistic force being what seems to be more and more likely a declining mental illness rather than a misdiagnosis for the divine.

i'm in a mix of "it's mostly mental illness and trauma but there's probs a touch of supernatural" so i can't sit here and say "it's okay to do that because it's clearly just the wilderness speaking to her!!!!!" and if the showrunners want to continue the ambiguity then they Need to handle it carefully and accurately.

i just feel misled by how they ended the season 1 finale and i hate that for those of us who theorized based on what was being put down, we're now being mocked for that theorizing. there's a difference between spending so much time on the subreddit that you think kevyn tan was wilderness baby, and actually using the canon season 1 finale as a springboard for discussion for a show that is meant to be theorized about.

i suppose what i expected from lottie in season 2 was to have something against the other survivors, and i'm starting to think having the implied antagonist be another survivor altogether would have been better. however... the teen storyline wasn't really giving that as a possibility until further into season 2, so they would have needed to do a fair bit differently in s1 as well for that to work.

another option would be for more focus on the main season 1 adults being the "villains" and for lottie to be Right, to be a sympathetic antagonistic that forces them to face what they did to her and to each other. that would track more with the road teen lottie is going down--stepping down as leader because they're placing unjust blame on her shoulders. and we almost did get that....... but then they went and unmedicated her and made her incite a hunt as if she weren't against it in the teen timeline from what we have so far seen.

we did get the "we're why she's like this" line which i appreciate, because even though lottie did get violent it at least... somewhat shows that the actions of others encouraged her. it shows that they do make her worse.

but we also get her acceptance as a teen that the others can hear the wilderness now, so i struggle to believe they needed her to be an unmedicated mess to re-incorporate the wilderness into the adult timeline. the girlies def are more likely to recognize that and tai's fugue state as the wilderness than... shauna butchering a rabbit or still seeing jackie, but i feel like there were other ways to have a story here.

adult lottie could've even been striving for some revenge plot WHILE fully medicated so it wouldn't be as much of a mental illness portrayal issue, depending on how much medication can reliably quiet those traits.

maybe if they were leaning more into the supernatural she could've been a more... in-control conduit for the wilderness as an adult without mental health being the concern, even tho i know that ruins a lot of the foundation for the show. i would've loved to see something with her thinking she'd been freer in her more primal state in the wilderness, unmedicated and unjudged to explain her scream upon rescue... but then again that could be harmful because of the "medication stifles your true self!1!1!" bullshit we already deal with in real life.

and part of me when it comes to queer rep (as a queer) does have a tiny "this is not a show for positive happy ending kinds of rep" voice in the back of my head. but because the whole focus here really is about mental illness vs. the supernatural in regards to violent barbaric cannibalistic hunting rituals... i have to urge some caution when the rest of the media landscape isn't much better with Scarier mental illnesses, esp in horror. i can't blame this specific show for that but i do feel like they have the option to do things better, even if i don't exactly know how that might be.

[toerrishumansodontbeone]

.

Everywhere else seems too shameful to share(though I did anyway) & elaborate on, because those places are full of legitimate knowledgeable pros/artists, but uhhhh,

so I think I want to become a tattoo artist?

But seeing as I am the person that I am, living in the place that I am, knowing the language as badly as I do and having the anxiety that I do that makes it appear even more basic, I don't think I really can go the traditional route of studio apprenticeships.

And the loud majority of studio tattooers will of course tell you to never ever how even dare you try to do ANY tattooing on your own!!!! To the point of actively discouraging even buying a machine at all, even just for practice skins. Just draw a lot and go spend 1-3 years in an unpaid grueling apprenticeship where maybe they'll let u do something in a year or so uwu (tho there are also ppl fighting the gatekeeping) ( n some apprentices Ive seen whove started doing serious practice within a few months)

But yea so,,, thats why tbh it feels embarrassing to even mention me wanting to, even though on the other hand thats also.... the way to put any sort of attention on you, to garner interest from prospective mentors and amass future clients....... but also god its nerve wrecking thinking some local pro is looking at my stuff with disdain and mockery.

It just sucks how much language is a barrier for me. I'm not confident enough to just barge in talking in english even if they prob know the language fine enough.

Ontop of that its kinda sad I had all this sustained motivation for several days in a row but then I made the mistake of posting some little designs online. Because I was excited about it I of course expected excitement back. A response! A showering of praise and acceptance!

But the need for social validation is a poisonous pit and it never gives back quite what you give it. I knew it would not give me the validation and would ruin things and make me doubt myself and still I was hopeful and wanted it to be different and maybe a little bit more like the old times,,,

Its so hard to keep up my own confidence, as essential as it is to human psychology. I cant even create those little wins to sustain any real growth in myself. I just keep regressing and becoming worse. Im a hermit but one that doesnt even have any real community to turn to even online..........ughhhhhhh.

This is a very unstructured ramble, but its felt so fruitless having all these thoughts clogging my brain and nobody to talk to about them.

I dont know. Now I suddenly got back into writing and making more significant progress on my story/possibly novella.

and inbetween I thought more and more of how tattoo artist is the antithesis of me. I cannot pull my own clients, I cannot talk to people and make them want to keep coming back for my company, I could not do the receptionist duties for an apprenticeship, I do not even have an appropriate space to tattoo if it ever came to that AND renting even v small offices is stupid expensive at first glance. So I could not start doing that without already having a steady stream of clients.

Tattooing feels like a level of responsibility I could handle, it feels like it would be an interesting new craft to explore, w techniques to master, a different kind of self expression........ but thats all idyllic theory. No career path really fits me and it comes back down again to me being so unable to change my social ineptitude. Its such a waste how I had some modicum of comfort and progress in that sphere my last few years in Latvia,, and it fell apart just because it was so unsustainable financially......... N now that Ive been comfortably settled for a while in austria, just being financially stable and comfortable isnt enough...

Insanely Ive been wondering if the economy has evened out some in LV that I could come back.......but theres no way I would even physically *survive* through some unpaid apprenticeship there.....

[marshmallowprotection]

So I don't usually vent to strangers on the internet, never have before at all actually. But your page is just radiating with amazing vibes and you're such a safe space. I always read your work and it makes me so happy.

Today was...yikes. and it's only really begun. For about two weeks now I've been going back and forth with a girl about working for her, she interviewed me and seemed to like me, and hired me. Well then I gave her my number and she took a while to text me even though she was supposed to the next day. Finally she says hi, I reply back and then I hear nothing when I needed to know what time I was supposed to come in on the day she set up for me to start ! Heard nothing. 6 days go by and she says sorry I have to reschedule you. I'm like no big deal! I understand and I look forward to working with you on the new day which was meant to be today.

Fast forward to this morning I'm running on 4 hours of sleep because I was so nervous last night to go to bed early, and I spend an hour getting ready. No texts, no calls from this girl, so I'm assuming we are still on. I drive all the way over there and get in 10 minutes early.

Immediately she sees me and ignores me, talking with her other worker and a customer who I could tell must have been a good friend of hers. I stand there for a bit waiting patiently when she turns to me and says I'll get you situated in a moment I have to use the bathroom. So I start chatting with the other worker, we talk about her necklace that I thought was cute.

And this is where is goes downhill.

The girl comes out of the bathroom and immediately starts in with "I'm so sorry to do this to you" and goes on to tell me that financially she can't afford me and that she has to send me home. In front of everyone, in the middle of the shop. First of all, if you can't afford me WHY LEAD ME ON?? WHY LET ME DRIVE THERE, WHY NOT AT LEAST CALL OR TEXT ME THIS MORNING??? Then she has the nerve to say in April she may contact me back if I'm still interested. Absolutely not.

I'm a disabled college student. Finding work is so hard and I finally thought I had the courage and ability to get a job and this was how I was treated? I'm embarrassed, angry and upset. She should have called, or maybe never hired me at all. And she certainly shouldn't have told me to go home in front of everyone there. I could actually cry rn.

Thinking so hard about how my amazing fictional bf Saeran would comfort me and how my bestie and future brother in law Saeyoung would crack stupid jokes to cheer me up and also help me find this lady's bosses number so I could be petty, call and tell them just how unprofessional she handles this business.

Anyways that's my little vent. You're such a light on this app and I really truly adore your work and how you treat others. You deserve a lot of good in your life and I hope it comes to you. I'll call myself 🧼 soap anon if that's not already a thing on your page, that way if I ever come back to chat with you (prob no more vents ??? I just wanna shower you in appreciation and Choi Twin brainrot) or even come off anon I can be identified. :)) have a wonderful day, please.

I'm sorry to hear that someone led you on, Soap Anon! It's hard enough to get by in our society when someone tells you that you didn't get a job. It's even harder when someone leads you on and makes you waste your gas money on nothing.

That stuff isn't cheap! If she knew there would be no way to pay you, she should've said it the very second she realized it for a fact and told you over the phone. It saves not only her time and embarrassment but your time as well.

That's no way to treat another person. I'm angry for you!

Being disabled is hard enough because society is designed to force you into poverty here in America by giving you things below the bare minimum. They nickel and dime you because they think they can and I hate that shit. Saeran wouldn't let that slide, you're right. Nobody is allowed to lead someone on for no reason. It's one thing if you think you can take on work, and it's another to realize you can't by the time you do the books.

Just be upfront with people and say, "I'm sorry, but I can give you this job right now. The business is tight. I might be able to help you later on if the money changes, thank you for your interest," over the phone! Literally. There was a way to handle this and this woman ain't shit. I can't suspect her motives or choices, but that was a horrible way to do somebody over.

Saeran would comfort you. He would wrap you in a blanket and bring you something warm to drink so you can cry and work through your emotions with him. He'd coax you into taking a day off so you can do what you need to. Cry and rest. Whereas, Saeyoung would waste not a second in getting payback for you. If you consent. He can make the world know not to work for this woman because she treats workers like that.

No excuse to lead someone on because they made some kind of mistake and don't want to own up to their mistake! Just be upfront! Don't make Saeyoung dismantle you to ribbons for treating his family like garbage. Because he can and will do that. You can always count on Saeran and Saeyoung to make you feel respected. If nothing else.

[strabius-berry]

Feel free to ignore but I just need to rant for a moment.

I'm really annoyed with the way English subtitles are being handled lately. This is gonna focus on the anime Komi Can't Communicate, licensed by Viz Media, but I've also noticed this with animes licensed by Funimation like Boku no Hero Academia. Lately, English subtitles for the Japanese versions are jumping right into adapting their jokes or sayings into something the English speaking audience would understand, and this is normally okay since it makes for less having to explain the joke to an audience that wasn't brought up on it. But the thing is this should only be done in the English dubs, which are already meant to adapt the language and ways of speaking to an English audience. The point of subtitles is so we can understand what they are saying in their own language, even if it involves having to explain the joke in translator notes. But many times I have found myself having to look up what the onscreen text was saying when it was clear to me from first glance that it wasn't what the subtitles were saying. Case in point: Komi's joke.

This reads "futon ga futton da" which translates directly as "the futon flew off". The joke doesn't translate into English but phonetically you can tell it's a Japanese pun.

In the English dub, they adapted this joke to one that fits in our language with "the bedbug bugged the bed", which hits just as well as the Japanese version. It would be fine if this was only in the dub, but when watching the Japanese version, the subtitles kept the dub's translation and not the accurate one. This creates misinformation for those who don't have a basic understanding of the Japanese language and could lead them to think "futon" means "bedbug" when it doesnt.

Second case in point: Ochako getting flustered.

The text surrounding her do not say what she is saying, and even she herself is not saying what the subtitles say. The joke in this scene is that Mina accused her of being in love, or

恋/koi, and her reaction is to question what her meaning is with "鯉/koi" "故意/koi" "濃い/koi". Every single word on screen is pronounced "koi", so it's like she's asking for clarification on what Mina means by saying "koi", even though she clearly knows what she meant.

Yes, the "love? shove? dove?" translates faster and is just as effectively into English, but it works better in the dub, it's not accurate to the meaning of the Japanese language in sub.

Look, I don't know if this is a result on dubbing/subbing companies wanting to spend less time/money into adapting or whatever, but I can remember watching a fansub of the original Digimon Adventure for the first time, and the translator notes took the time to explain the reason Koushiro performed stand up comedy to his parents after they asked him through his bedroom why he was speaking in a particular dialect, was because at the time his digimon Tentomon spoke in kansai dialect. As an English speaker, I would have never understood that, so the translator notes provided knowledge that would have gone over my head before.

Likewise, fansubs for the japanese version of the game Sonic Colors had lots of moments when explaining the joke to me came in handy with increasing my knowledge. For instance, when Tails tries using his device to translate what Yacker was saying, it first translated it's name to "soccer", and when he does get it right, Sonic jokes "are you sure his name isn't yakyuu?" Which is the japanese word for "baseball", while providing the motion of hitting a ball with a bat. The joke is how similar Yacker and yakyuu sound together, and the fact that soccer and baseball are both sports; it's punny. Sure, it doesn't translate into English, but that's not the point. We should be more eager to explain the jokes from other languages so that we can expand our knowledge. Most non-English languages dont know "no prob, Bob" is an English speaking pun. We take these things for granted since it comes so naturally to us, but I am always excited to learn and understand the puns and jokes in other languages, and I want to believe I'm not alone in that despite the shallow translations from big dubbing companies.

[abcdosaka]

the life update 2.0

the unformatted stream of consciousness edition

i started working on monday. it's alright, been connecting with ppl, not being overly shy but i'm still adjusting to actually working 8 hours straight bc i've been doing legit nothing for 5 months straight. the people at my workplace are nice enough especially the ladies like there's one who i was lowkey scared of bc she kinda has a rbf and just looks so girlboss and professional but i messaged her and we talked and she's actually really nice :) anyway i've had enough work experience being the new guy and onboarding online that i'm not as scared as i would've been + i already know people at this company so i can kinda show my worth from the start

i got my period on friday and i was fucked up yesterday and today from cramps/headache so i got barely anything done so i need to do some work tmr cry T_T i need to remember work is not school i can't just procrastinate everything and i should actually work during and only during work hours. i give myself a pass though bc friday was just awful. also i was supposed to learn python before i started working but i didn't but idk feel like i can wing it there. i already know r and i learned java in highschool so it might actually be a breeze not to toot my own horn but i'm like pretty smart so

it feels like my pms (except its not really pre- more like first/second day of period) symptoms are getting worse the older i get. sometimes the symptoms are okay but more of them are just awful than not. i get really nasty headaches and intense fatigue for one, really bad cramps, joint pain and lower back pain, sometimes my boobs swell up and are really tender (compared to the normal level of tender), i'm either very irritable or sad, i feel like i can't eat and i'm bloated or gassy, i'm like constipated but i also need to shit all the time. like i cannot focus with these conditions. i couldn't this week bc its legit my first week lmao but i might start taking sick days for really bad periods. also maybe bc i took a walk before i started work but my allergies were REALLY bad all day

idk if it's my body aging (which is crazy bc i'm not even 23) or if it's bc i don't exercise as much as i should but idk i still do, like yes i do sit on my ass a LOT but i use the exercise bike a couple times a week and i lift a little bit (not as much as i used to). i haven't been able to go swimming in a while bc i think i had a uti (i didn't bother going to the doctor bc i've gotten 2 in like the last year and i hate taking antibiotics so i was like man lets just wait this out) and now i'm on my period. but other than that i swim pretty frequently.

the only issue w me is i'm a homebody but thats just bc i have almost no friends in my city lmao. esp since n has moved. (i kinda wanna call her but idk our in person chats are always so much better than calls like slight tangent but i can never hear her on the phone lmao)

honestly not mad at it like. did we only talk to each other out of circumstance? i think it's just a fact of life that most of our friends are borne from necessity at work school etc but once that ends only a few of them, maybe 1 or 2, will really stick around. but still like most ppl from uni i just don't think i'll ever talk to again and i wonder if that should matter to me or not. ngl sometimes the loneliness hits me but i don't think i've really lost my social skills in fact i think i've gotten a lot better compared to this time last year like sept 2022 - april 2023 was just a downward spiral for my social skills everything was so hard and my anxiety was prob the worst it had ever been and i wasn't very forgiving of myself. maybe bc i spend a lot of time at home but also i just don't really have a hard time talking to randos on games or in shops or whatever now. idk maybe i give less of a shit now or maybe my solitude is making my ego rise like it tends to.

i heard that was a thing, like if you spend too much time alone your sense of self becomes insanely inflated or deflated there is no middle ground. kinda facts like people are weird

but anyways i feel, for the most part, pretty chill these days. i think i could stand up for myself better now vs in the past. i texted sp again to say like "we should make plans" but i set up the last plan and like i drove her home last time too and we met at this kinda lame plaza bc she had an errand nearby so if she doesn't start the convo this time then i legit can't be arsed like i'll never talk to her again bc i'm gonna return the same effort i get. in fairness she told me that work is really exhausting for her and her commute is ridiculous like she lives by fucking farmland and has to take public transit everywhere bc she doesn't have a car. but we've never been close and i don't think our sense of humour or what we're interested in is all that similar so i get why she's not feelin it honestly me neither. no hard feelings but i will drop her tho.

holy shit this post is loooonggg. i'm not even done writing about shit but i think thats it for the life stuff so i'll make a new one

[fweasleyswhore]

F.W. Who We Are

Chapter One: One More Time

a/n: ok chapter one! i was going to start with a one shot but got rather carried away with this idea so this will prob be a three - five chapter kind of thing. hope you like it !!

Pairing: Fred Weasley x fem!reader / Slytherin!reader

Summary: fred and george tell you their idea for a new prank. cute fluff with some memories. (groundwork for upcoming chapters)

Word Count: 3.2k

I always looked forward to Christmas, every year it was a chance to go home and relax, considering everything that had happened in the past two years, watching your friends battle death itself when they themselves barely understood it as it is. I looked at Ron, Hermione, and Harry like little siblings, and watching them constantly get tackled with hardships and pain hurt me. I often put myself out on the line for them, I was only a year older than them but I knew if in their position I would want help too. 

Ron was actually how I met Fred and George, although I knew of them due to their pranks on the student body I didn’t know them personally. Their company was worth the many times I stuck my neck out for the trio. I reminisced on the times I almost died or nearly got expelled but it was completely worth it, my friendship blossomed with George first, he never let me forget how I helped save Ron and Harry from the forbidden forest spiders, he would go as far as to tease Ron about having a crush on me but I assured him Ron had a thing for Hermione. Fred took longer to warm up to me though, I thought he hated me at first but he’s a sweetheart, just was shy, I understood why with my house being what it was. 

“Ah, my favorite imposter. How are you Y/N?” George asks. I turn around from my position on the couch, grinning up to George and Fred. The Gryffindor common room had become like a second home to me. I believe I spend more time here than my Slytherin common room, the portrait just lets me in, although I believe that may be because it was hexed by the twins. 

“I am doing swimmingly George, although I would be doing better had you two arrived on time.” I said, still smiling. It was no secret that the boys tended to make plans and be anywhere from 20 to nearly 40 minutes late. 

“Have you ever considered that you are always early? We never said 2 o’clock I remember us saying 2-ish.” Fred said as he plopped down on the couch. He adjusted for a moment finally sprawling about and placing his head in my lap. He grinned up to me and I could feel my face begin to flush. I turned my attention to George who promptly smacked Fred on the forehead, I assume for taking all the space up on the couch before sitting on the floor in front of us. 

Finally, I spoke again once I knew that my voice wouldn’t falter. “2-ish does not mean after 3.” I flicked Fred on the head and he yelped dramatically and placed his hand over his heart with a hurt look on his face. 

“You can’t act like you want our company and then bully us!” Fred said, drawing out his dramatics. I rolled my eyes. 

“Wrong.” I chirped, looking down at the beautiful boy under me. I nearly forgot to speak, I was so transfixed on his eyes. “I’m not bullying George.” 

George snorted and threw his head back laughing. Fred glared at me and stuck his bottom lip out in a pout. My eyes moved down looking at his lips. Don’t stare at your best friend’s lips Y/N. I shook my head at the thoughts of Fred’s lips and instead looked at George who was smirking at me. He had caught me multiple times ogling at his twin. The first time he confronted me about his question was “Why not me, I’m obviously the better-looking twin!” which earned him a good punch in the arm. I had never admitted to the growing crush I had on Fred to him but then again I never denied it either. That was enough for my private teasing from him. I ignored him and pressed on. 

“Now will you tell me what the plan is, you keep almost telling me and I swear to Merlin if you don’t tell me this time…” I trailed off while giving them both a stern glare to which they both snickered at. I raised my hand to flick Fred again, his eyes widened with fear. “Ok fine!” he exclaimed. “George tell her before she bruises me!” He looked pleadingly at his brother who only rolled his eyes before getting up and looking around making sure we were alone. My hand was still raised and pointed at Fred’s forehead but my eyes were trained on George inspecting the common room. Before I could react Fred had lifted my cardigan and successfully shifted himself so his face was now pressed against my shirt while my cardigan covered his head. 

“Hey!” I yelled while pulling my cardigan back but to no avail, his grip was on it tight. 

“You can’t flick me now Y/N! My forehead is safe!” He yelled into my stomach. I looked up to George who was now sitting in front of us making kissy faces. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a pillow that I promptly chucked at his head but he caught.

Now hugging the pillow against his chest George looked very serious. He lowered his voice when he spoke.  “We need you to help us with this prank because you are a Slytherin.” His eyes met mine pleadingly. My hands stopped wrestling Freds for ownership over my cardigan as I looked at George. 

“Haven’t I already told you guys I’m not helping you torture my house because then my house would torture me? Do you not remember last year?!” I huffed. I hadn’t forgotten the year before when I let them hang out with me in the Slytherin common room. They had offered to help me study but they had ulterior motives, motives which laid with turning most of the other students in the common room into birds. Once I realized what was happening which wasn’t long after a few screams and a lot of feathers being strewn about, I had grabbed the back of their collars and threw them out. Even after shutting the door in their faces, I could hear them laughing on the other side. I spent the rest of my evening burning their Feathered Figs and transfiguring birds back into students. It didn’t upset me too much until I had about five teary first years coughing up feathers and sobbing. I rushed all the ex-bird people to Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing who took care of them. 

Soon enough, Snape had found out, rushed into the hospital wing, grabbed the back of my neck, and pushed me out. Once we were out of earshot he let out on me, he demanded to know the origins of the candies and I took the fall. Saying that I had bought some candies from Honeydukes and Zonkos for friends and got them mixed up. He huffed and gave me a week of detention. It took me two weeks to even look at the twins, they had done everything in their power to try and get my attention on them again but I ignored them. Purposely sitting with Cedric or Luna every day at lunch and dinner. 

After a week and a half of me ignoring them, I was sitting in the courtyard with Cedric. It was our Tuesday tradition to spend the afternoon together doing homework or more likely procrastinating together. Ever since my first year, even after I was sorted in Slytherin, Cedric made time to be with me. He didn’t care so much as some other people who I thought I was friends with before, he said he knew I was a kind person and didn’t see that changing. His kindness was something I always appreciated. Something I didn’t always appreciate was his ability to read me. He always seems to know what is bubbling under the surface, and always knew exactly what to say to help. In this instance, it was to hear the twins out. I remember us fighting about it but in the end, he was right. I had been missing their company more than I had liked to admit, and in my attempts to ignore them I had also been ignoring Harry, Hermione, and Ron. 

The guilt ate away at my chest and I went to the Black Lake, a place the twins and I would meet to blow off steam. Almost like they had telepathic powers, they arrived nearly five minutes after I did, both panting heavily as though they had sprinted from across the castle. Fred was teary-eyed and George held a guilty look on his face. They hugged me at the same time and told me how much they have been dying without me. I laughed, then cried, which freaked them both out because they hugged me with too much force. I smacked them both on the head. 

“Don’t ever use me like that again,” I said sternly. They both nodded looking guiltily at their feet. “Because Merlin I missed you so much.” Their heads snapped up and they smiled, I smiled back. “It’s damn hard to stay mad at you.” I laughed out the words and their smiles grew. “Especially when you are stalking me.” 

Fred and George glanced at each other then laughed. I gave them a puzzled look. “We weren’t planning on stalking you.” George grinned. 

“Not that intensely at least,” Fred added and George shook his head again. “After 3 days Hermione sat us down and lectured us. She told us about your detention, how you took the fall for us-” “Made us feel like foul gits, she did.” George piked in, crossing his arms. Fred nodded enthusiastically. “She told us if we had just driven away one of her best friends and-” he untucked his arms to use air quotes, “The only other girl in the group.” He rolled his eyes. “She would make us wish we weren’t born. I told her you were more like one of the guys in the group and well, she didn’t like that at all.” His eyes went wide at the end of his sentence. I smacked him on the arm. 

“Well I don’t either you git!” I laughed. “At least I know Hermione will always have my back.” I threw my hand on my chest rather dramatically.  

“I will too you know,” Fred spoke up. I looked at him with my brows furrowed. Did he really just? “have your back, I will always be there.” He smiled softly at me and my knees felt like they were going to give out. Something about his soft smile just made my heart swell up. 

We spent the rest of the evening at the lake. Eventually, I laid my head in Fred’s lap, my feet residing in the lap of George. Talked so much that we missed dinner. I hadn’t noticed how late it had gotten until I saw the darkened windows of the castle indicating that everyone had moved up to their dormitories. I shot straight up, bringing myself then the two boys to their feet before jogging towards the castle. They walked me to the Slytherin common room through a secret passage they had found the year prior. Once we got to the painting I looked at both of them. We all had a sudden hesitance to do anything, but not wanting to leave. 

“Well,” I coughed the word out. “Goodnight then.” I smiled at them weakly. George pulled me into one of his famous bear hugs. I laughed into his chest and hugged back. When he finally released me I turned to Fred. My cheeks were burning but it was too dark for him to notice and thank Merlin for that. He quickly wrapped me up as well but his hug felt different. His hands didn’t rest on my back like Georges did, they wrapped around my waist and brought me in tightly. His head was placed in the crook of my neck. With his hands and breath on me, I was feeling dizzy. I stood on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck and shoulders. 

“I don’t want you to go, we just got you back.” He murmured into my neck. I squeezed him into me as a response to tell him I felt the same, not trusting my voice to remain steady, before releasing him. When I looked back at him his face resembled a kicked puppy, he looked sad, his brown eyes which usually gleamed with mischief were now glossed with sadness. 

“We could always sneak her into our dorms,” George said, raising his brows at me. “I think I’ve done it about a dozen times with Angela, really easy.” Fred and I both stared at George with our jaws on the floor. After realizing what he had said George turned red. “N-Not like that!” He said loudly. Fred and I looked at each other, we both had the same look on our face- disbelief. Soon enough the secret passageway was echoing with laughter. I had to grab Fred’s arm to balance myself, my own laughter causing my legs to feel like jelly and my stomach to cramp up. He was quick to support me by placing his arm around my waist and pulling me into him, my hands rested on his chest but I couldn’t think of it to be flustered. I was still struggling to breathe and stop laughing. 

“Really mate, did you have to bribe her?” Fred asked between chuckles. George didn’t respond; he just huffed angrily and leaned against the wall very over our antics. 

After grabbing some things I would need from my dorm I spent the night in Fred’s dorm. George told me he simply would not have me because I continued to giggle about the thought of him and Angela together while sneaking into the Gryffindor common room. I didn’t think much about it until George excused himself for bed, not before winking at me and making glances between me and Fred. My face turned red but Fred didn’t notice too busy focusing on finding a sweater to sleep in. He and I sat and talked for a while. 

“I can leave so you can change. You probably don’t want to sleep in your uniform.” He laughed while standing. I immediately facepalmed myself for forgetting to bring nightclothes. Fred noticed. “Of course you did.” He laughed seemingly being able to read my mind. 

“Shut up! You wouldn’t have thought to grab a new uniform if the roles were reversed and I got that!” I huffed, embarrassed. I stood too and shook off my robe. “My uniform isn’t too bad, I can just sleep in it.” Fred looked at me like I had grown a second head. “What!?” 

“You’re going to be uncomfortable!” He exclaimed. I rolled my eyes. “It’s not that bad Fred.” I smiled. 

He began to ruffle through his drawer and mutter to himself. Finally, after going through all of his drawers he handed me a pair of sweatpants that looked like they wouldn’t have fit Fred in years. His legs were far too long. Before I could say anything he was taking off his F sweater, as he did his shirt was pulled up and exposed his midriff. He handed me that too and I stared at the clothes instead of him, my cheeks burning. “I’ll be outside the door, let me know when you’re finished.” He stood there for a second longer, hesitating like there was something else he needed to say or do. But then he was out of the room without another word. 

I pulled my uniform off, actually excited to be out of it. I pulled the sweatpants on first, they pooled at my ankles and slid down my hips. I tied the strings tighter to fit my frame more comfortably before cuffing the bottom of the pants so I wouldn’t trip on them. Then I slid Fred’s sweater over my head. It smelled just like him which made me smile, the sleeves ended past my fingers, and the bottom of the sweater ended a little past my mid-thigh. I smiled to myself while I could, there was something so comforting about being in his clothes even when they were so oversized. 

I let him back into the room and he looked at me for a moment. Having his eyes rack over my body made me suddenly very self-conscious and I hung my head to hide my red cheeks. He quickly walked over to the bed and grabbed the sleeve that hung from my hand, pulling me with him. “You should read to me that muggle book you keep talking about.” He finally spoke. 

My cheeks burned red. “You remembered?” He hummed in response while moving his other arm under his head. He turned to look at me. “Did you bring it?” 

I scoffed. “You know I take it everywhere with me.” He grinned at me. “That I do, go get it.” 

I spent the next long while reading to him. He was quick to ask questions which I had to refrain from answering and spoiling the future chapters. When my speech began to slow he instructed me to move and give him the book. I laid my head on his chest and listened to it rumble as he spoke. He continued to read with a lot of enthusiasm. I don’t remember much but I do remember waking up in his arms the next day. 

“Y/N!” I snapped my head up, pushing the events of last year back to the depths of my mind. It didn’t mean anything. I had to remind myself. Fred was a touchy person, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had done that with many people, that being said I never asked. I knew that if my suspicions were true my heart would shatter that I wasn’t for a fact special to him. I didn’t want to ruin my memory of that night. It was something I thought back to quite a bit. 

“How many times are you gonna make us apologize for that?” I smiled smugly and rolled my eyes. 

“I didn’t ask you to apologize again, just not include me in pranks against my house.” I sighed. Fred had finally released his hold on my cardigan and pulled his head out. His long hair was a mess and some of it had fallen into his forehead. He looked up at me with a smile I couldn’t help but smile back. 

“That’s the great thing Y/N, the prank isn’t against your house technically speaking.” He shot me a wink that made me giggle. I brought up a hand and brushed his hair out of his face. “And how is that, technically speaking.” I made sure to draw out technically the same way that Fred did and I looked between the two brothers. They were looking between themselves almost as if they were speaking telepathically. 

“It’s on Snape,” George said smugly. “So technically not your house, just the head of the said house.” My eyes shot open and I jumped up knocking Fred off of me in the process. I could hear him whisper something but I was too caught up in the multiple thoughts running through my head. 

The boys looked at me expectantly, Fred rubbing the back of his head where it had made a harsh impact with my knee. 

“How can I help?” I grinned wildly, this was going to be my favorite prank yet. 

Chapter Two 

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #459

“i wanted you to know that i love the way you laugh  /  i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away”

Does the person you like have any flaws? He's never seemed very expressive of what he feels. Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Yes. Because it was our anniversary and he wanted to, ig. If you ruled your own country, what type of government would it have? I'm not educated enough to answer this. Creation theory, Evolution or the Big Bang theory? I really don't know what I believe about the origins of the universe, but I do believe in evolution. Describe one of your most emotional farewells. The last time I saw Jason and we talked for a long time, and I finally got my closure. It was all so heavy. It started so stiffly, but it ended with us just chatting and smiling and, to my absolute shock, a hug from him. I'm getting emotional so NEXT QUESTION. What was your last serious conversation about? I was reassuring and comforting Sara about some stuff. Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No. Are there any gnomes in your yard? No. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Years ago. A bumblebee. Are you gonna buy lottery tickets when you’re old enough? I am old enough, and no. The odds are way, way too small, and I don't really dabble in addictive behavior. Have you ever been into a real cave? No. :( That's a life goal, though. Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid. It was regarding Meerkat Manor and I thought it was really disrespectful to Flower just because of the music chosen lmao. The drama. What color is your digital camera, if you have one? Black. If you had to spend one day in any movie storyline, which one would it be? Alice in Wonderland, I suppose? Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Oh man, I've played waaaaay too many video games. I suppose Silent Hill with how confused it left me at first. Its concept is definitely wild. Parasite Eve is high on the list, too. In your opinion, what is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Boy in the Striped Pajamas destroys me. What is the best song to make out to? I could answer this but I'm not gonna lmfao Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? story of my life ayyyyeeeee Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Not a clue. Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom. I sobbed on-and-off for days. Do you consider yourself a healthy person? Physically and mentally? No, in either way. Do you know anyone who owns a boat? My dad does. I'm sure others, too, with how popular fishing out on a boat is here. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I don't know. Even for medicinal purposes, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. What did you do for your 21st birthday? I was in the psych hospital, so... lmao. Therapy, reading, and coloring. Lots of reading and coloring. Because they did NOT fill your schedule enough there. We only had two group therapy sessions a day, and the rest was just... blankness. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? I know I'd be one of the dumb ones that absolutely wanted a tiny raptor, lol. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Not interested. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I don't like soup. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? My first real series that I read religiously was Hank the Cowdog. Then it was Warriors. Do you buy Halloween candy when it’s on sale after the holiday? No. I really don't need candy available to me. Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? It depends on what they're doing. In a lot of cases, no. Do you ever watch talk shows? No. Do you have a/any hero(s)? Mark Fischbach, Steve Irwin, my mom... Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Though Mom has playfully once told me that she knows a lot of things I don't think she does, and that's terrifying lmao. You’re getting married. Who’s your maid of honor and best man? M.o.H.: Mom or Sara. Best man isn't my choice. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? DYE IT ALLLLLLL. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My friendship ring w/ Sara. It has a heart carved on the outside and "bitch" engraved inside so no one can see when you have it on, lol. She has one that says "jerk." It's a Supernatural reference. Who challenges you the most? In what way? My therapist and psychiatrist. They just help ensure I pursue my goals and give me little nudges forward to reassure me. Who seems to hold you back? In what way? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT ME. I listen to my anxiety WAY too much. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? Going up to Lake Gaston w/ Mom to visit Ash and her fam. They go there all the time, and it's a real nice place. I just didn't want to go because of the heat. Should there be an application process for having children? Hunny, that would not stop people from fuckin lmfao Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? m e e r k a t s What is a fear you have about living on your own? That depression would get the better of me and I'd neglect taking good care of my house. One of the many reasons I'll never live alone. Not at all saying I'd leave the responsibilities to my partner, but they'd be motivation for me to get stuff done. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. Nothing that bad. What’s your stance on spooning? It helps me feel safe and loved and alsdkfjalwe I just love cuddling in all sorts lmao What’s your most recent obsession? Violet Orlandi & Melodicka Bros' cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." Have you ever been scammed? Ha ha, yes. I once wanted to get Jason a Joker and Harley Quinn pillow from deviantART; talked to the artist, paid 'em, never got it. :^) Have you ever fostered an animal? No. I would get WAY too attached to foster. I wouldn't be able to give them up without breaking down, probs. Do you know anyone who acts way younger than what they are? I'm sure I do, but no one is coming to mind atm. Would you say you’re a pretty independent person? God no. Does the last song you listened to, remind you of someone? JASON. Do you currently want a new computer? Yes, actually. I want a desktop PC for better gaming quality, honestly. Also, the "escape" key doesn't work on this laptop, one key is missing so I have to hit the sensor JUST right, and it restarts randomly sometimes. I want a PC mainly because I want to get out of the habit of being on my laptop in bed all damn day. How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? I already have like six or seven, so they wouldn't be surprised. Is there anyone you can picture yourself being with forever right now? Maybe. Who is your truest friend? Sara. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? THIS house? Idk. Nothing that I'd consider odd. What bug frightens you most? STAG BEETLES lkadjslkfja;lwekjawl;kejrlawer Who is your oldest friend? That would be Sam, and he's in his mid-30s. How long have you known them? Many years. We met via WoW, which I've been playing since '14. I don't really remember how far into it we met, though. Where are they right now? lol I wouldn't know, he's all the way in Jersey. Plus we haven't talked in a while. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? God no, that would be so weird. What is the best gift someone can give you? An ear to listen without it feeling like a chore to them. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. I don't think I could do it. What is the last movie that made you cry? The The Lion King remake made me tear up. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No. Ugh, that sounds like a blast. In your life who has meant the most to you? Let's not get into this. What has been your biggest failure in life? Letting depression and my other conditions take away my identity, becoming my new identity. Do you trust yourself? No. I second-guess EVERYTHING and never know what I should listen to: my heart, my head, my gut... or which voice is what. Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes. What was the last bug you killed? Some kind in the bathroom. Idk what it was. Just a little thing that sort of resembled an earwig, but not completely. Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? By myself, since it's my page. Do you know anyone who has written a book? I don't think so? Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? Ew, no. I live with another person, and even if I didn't, what if I had guests? Has anyone ever told you they liked you in a realllly sweet way? Maybe? Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewlery? Jason has. Do you find sleeping in cars easy? NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm too scared to let my eyes close and not see what's going on on the road. Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? I don't believe so, no. What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Definitely something my niece has said, but idr what it was. What’s been on your mind lately? Y'all know, lol. Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? No. Sara was recently there for that. ♥ How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Be very very excited if it was from a certain person.

[felswritingfire]

Could you write some Macan relationship headcanons, please?

Fucking- I love Macan- he’s a whole ass boy

Contrary to what many people might think- Macan actually knows about the ins and outs of “dating” and by dating I mean the pursuit of getting a mate

He lived in the jungle and had a pseudo teacher, I’m more than positive that they explained, or at very least, mentioned sexual partners and the joy that they can bring

So, he has an idea of what attraction is 

Also there’s the fact of natural animal instinct (bitch be feral) 

He’s just never… thought of going through with it. Like sure, he debated with Nomad before, but he decided he liked the thought of him being more of a brother figure than an actual romantic interest, but he had never found anyone else worth going after in a relationship

That was until he met you

You honestly probably managed to gain his respect first by being able to keep up with him in a fight or he saw you fight with someone else and he was like, “Hey, I’m down to eat that person.”

And then you two began to get to know each other and soon enough he was like, “heart eyes, motherfucker” and that’s how your relationship blossomed

You’ll have to explain you concept of dating to him and he’ll work with it from there since his version, is- ah- much more primal

AKA: You two get it on and have like, a horde of (metaphorical or literal) little Macan’s running around

You gotta explain that you two have to build up to that  

And he’ll respect your explanation and try his best, but remember, he’s a rambunctious boi so you gotta be firm with him once in a while- other then that, he’s like a huge ass puppy (Haha) with you: always looking for your praise, touching you in anyway possible, always following you around- all that good stuff

Speaking of him touching you- he likes to randomly wrap his hands around your waist, doesn’t matter how much or how little pudge you have, he likes the way your waist curves when he squeezes. He also hyper fixates one the way your thighs fit in his hands (paws? ah-); he really likes to hold your hand in his and will often run his fingers over your knuckles

He loves giving surprise hugs- just hugs in general 

If you’re dating him, he’ll introduce you to Nomad if you don’t already know the guy- he always ends up slipping you some good food as thanks for keeping the big oaf busy 

Macan isn’t really a guy who’s masterful with words and usually shows his affection through his actions- he’ll get things when you ask him and he’ll actually listen to you when you’re talking, he’ll actually sit and just… bask in the presence with you

You have a strange way of calming him down and are one- if not- the only person who can get Macan to snap out of it when he goes into his berserk mode

His fear of hurting you is that strong

He’s pretty docile around you and honestly just wants to spend time with you

So he’s usually working out in some corner of the room while you do something else, that or he’ll do some push-ups and you’ll be sitting on his back (and no, it doesn’t matter how much you weigh, this boi can lift you- you see all that tittie? That ain’t no bitch tittie, he can lift anything if he puts his mind to it)

He’s really protective of you- like, uber protective- but he also has the state of mind that you’re a strong, independent person who can handle themselves. That doesn’t stop him from glowering at people from behind you though

Usually, if someone is trying to put the moves on you, he can just flash some teeth and give them a glare and they’ll be running with their tail between there legs (sometime literally); very rarely do you get the actually dumbasses who roll their eyes and keep pushing their luck- now that’s when Macan will really puff up and you have to keep him from actually killing someone because a) illegal and you’d prefer Macan not to go to jail and b) we don’t want to be traumatized by Macan legit ripping someone’s spine straight from their back 

His ideal date is literally wherever you want to go, he’d probs just mention going to a gym though because that’s one of the only things he ever thinks about, aside from you, so if you do end up taking him to the gym, he’ll be forever grateful to you and he’ll probably lick half of your face

Speaking of licking, this dude does not do kisses, he does licks- he doesn’t really see the point in kisses, they don’t really do anything except show affection and that’s it. Now with licks you get the best of both worlds: affection and baths- now that is what he is TALKING ABOUT

You’ll have to, honest to whatever holy deity you may or may not worship, have to work with him on that- otherwise he’ll just, randomly start grooming your hair in the middle of a conversation with one of your friends, ruining whatever work you’ve done on it 

The first time you explained french kissing to him, Macan grabbed your face with one hand and shoved his whole ass tongue down your throat and you almost threw up. You laugh about it now, but holy fuck you thought you were going to die because he let his tongue just sit in your mouth while he looked around the room

He just needs a lot of work in the kissing department is all

He likes to bite you as a way of marking you. It’s not even sexually- you could be just hugging and he’ll catch a sliver of your shoulder peeking out from the shirt you’re wearing and his eyes will do the cat thing where his pupils will blow wide and he’ll just- *nom*

He did this once in front of Nomad where he started nibbling on your cheek and he freaked the fuck out and ended up knocking out Macan in one hit because he thought that he was trying to eat you- it was actually really flattering, but you had to explain to him that: no, Macan isn’t trying to eat me (you hope). He’s just doing that weird Macan thing where he bites you to show affection-

Oh, if you thought that you would be sleeping by yourself once you got with him- YOU’D BE WRONG 

He likes to sneak into your bed and snuggle up to you. At first he tried to sleep on top of you, but quickly learned that he’s… a little too heavy to just be casually be sleeping on you- so instead he’ll rest his head on your chest and wrap his arms around your waist and drift to sleep listening to the sound of your heartbeat 

PLEASE PLAY WITH HIS HAIR- PLEASE

He loooooves when you style his hair- go crazy with it- he’ll show it off proudly, he don’t give a fuck. That bright ass pink bow with that rhinestone in the middle of it that you put in his hair??? Fucking flaunted. You decided to curl his hair? Bet you bitches are jealous, huh? You decided to put a flower crown on his head? THIS IS MY TRUE CROWN NOW, PEASANTS, MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY CLAUDE-

This guy just loves you a whoooole lot, my dude

(Please, someone ask for NSFW, I had to fight with myself to not add them because I wasn’t sure, but PLEASE I HAVE- I HAVE SOME IN MY NOGGIN, P LeA S E)

[iconsumeheadcanons]

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

P5

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

P4

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

P3

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

[marveloussupernerd]

No Candy is Sweeter Than You - Saeran Choi

Happy Halloween! I hope you’ve enjoyed my randomly generated Halloween fics (I’ll prob do something similar for Christmas maybe). I just watched a YouTube video and it lowkey scared me ? So here’s some soft Saeran to primarily comfort me

Prompts: passing out candy, Saeran’s pretty excited, his favorite candy is m&ms ����

Summary: Saeran wants to spend his first time ever celebrating Halloween by passing out candy with you at your house. Just some short fluff !

You were... surprised to say the least when you found out Saeran had never taken part in any Halloween festivities before. There was an RFA party planned, but he really didn’t feel like going, so you wanted to stay with him. Luckily, you lived in a neighborhood with a lot of children, so you invited him to come over and help you pass out candy.

He was all nervous at first. He googled how to pass out candy for Halloween. For some reason there’s a Wikihow article on that. It was practically his Bible.

“Are we wearing costumes?” He asked over the phone, calling you the day of to make sure he has everything planned out.

“We can. Why? Did WikiHow tell you to?” You teased. He laughed awkwardly. It did. “Okay. You have any idea what you want to wear?”

“Well they said to do something like a ghost that everyone will recognize,” he explained.

“But that’s so boring.”

He chuckled. “Okay. That’s fair. I wouldn’t know.”

“Halloween is a night you can be whatever you want!” You exclaimed. “Don’t you have anything in particular you’d like to be?”

“Could we... maybe do a couples’ costume?” He asked awkwardly. He sounded nervous over the line, his voice soft and somewhat hesitant.

“Of course! That’s a great idea.” You tried to make sure he could hear your smile even over the phone, hoping it would comfort him. It really was a good idea.

“Well... I was thinking... you know Hades and Persephone right?”

“Like the Greek mythology people?”

“Yeah... I thought it’d be kinda cool to dress like them. Uh, we don’t have to if you don’t want to though!” His words rushed together. “I just wanted to throw out a suggestion and-“

“Saeran that would be perfect. Greek God costumes are always popular too,” you reassured him. “Do you have what you need for it or do you wanna go shopping?”

“I have to run out and get a few things anyway! No problem. I can go get the candy too if you want.”

This sweet boy. “I can go with you,” you offered. You always liked spending time with him, even if it was just running errands together.

“Nope!” He denied you immediately, his voice surprisingly lighthearted for such a shut-down. “You stay home and get dressed up and relax. I’ll be over as soon as I have everything.”

“You sure you’ve got this? I’m more than happy to help.”

“I’m positive! I’m really excited and want to make it perfect.” You heard him laugh over the line, his laughter music to your ears. “See you soon. Love you.”

“Love you. Can’t wait to see you all dressed up.”

He hung up the call first, obviously in a rush to get everything together for the evening. You went to your closet and began tearing it apart for that Greek goddess dress you had worn how many years ago? Hopefully it still fit. (AN: if you never had a Greek goddess costume I’m sorry but ur in the minority)

You got to work doing your hair and makeup. You wanted to look absolutely perfect for Saeran, to make this day so special for him.

It was almost time for trick-or-treating to start. Luckily, you heard a knock on the door. Saeran was right on time. You opened the door. He was wearing all-black, spare a burgundy cape attached to his costume. He had an extravagant looking cane. His intimidating outfit, however, was offset by the bright smile on his face and the dozens of flowers peeking out from the top of a bag. “Saeran! You look so handsome Baby,” you complimented.

He blushed. “I got these for you.” He held out the flowers and you took them happily. “Can’t be the Goddess of Spring without a billion flowers. I picked them all myself,” he added proudly. You loved when he had his little ‘Ray’ moments, dabbling in his passion of gardening.

You took the flowers from him and got to work finding something to put them in. You didn’t have vases or anything in the house. You settled with a tall water bottle for now. He entered the house, setting the bag down on the counter. “I’ve got all kinds of good candy.”

You pulled out the bags, pouring the candy into a large bowl and took note of what he had decided to buy. “Reese’s, Kit Kat’s, M&Ms, Skittles... you even got fun sized bags of sour patch kids!? I’m impressed.”

“See, that WikiHow article isn’t all that bad,” he defended, a small smile playing on his lips as he realized how ridiculous he sounded.

“Do you not have a favorite?”

“Favorite candy?” He questioned, eyes glancing over the types in front of him. “Not really. I was never allowed to have it.” He shrugged it off, as though it wasn’t a big deal, but you were shocked.

“Okay! Well throughout the night we’ll try all the different candies and pick your favorite.” You decided, nodding your head. He nodded his head in agreement.

“Oh! I almost forgot.” He rummaged in the seemingly endless bag. “I made this for you too.” He pulled out a flower crown. It was really pretty. You bowed your head slightly and he put it on for you.

“It’s perfect. Completes the costume. You did this all today?”

“All today. I hope you like it.”

“Oh Saeran, I love it.” You cupped his cheek with your hand and pulled him close for a kiss. Just before your lips could touch, you heard the doorbell ring.

Saeran broke away, far too excited to be disappointed in the interruption. “Our first trick-or-treater!”

You giggled, grabbing the bowl and following after him. It was a little boy dressed as Mickey Mouse. “What do you say?” His mother asked him.

“Trick or treat!” He squealed. You giggled. Saeran took a handful of candy from the bowl and dropped it into his bag.

“I love your costume, Mickey. You look great!” He exclaimed. He was SO CUTE. After he left, it was time for Saeran to try his first candy of the night. He shut his eyes and pulled out a pack of sour patch kids. He popped an orange one into his mouth.

“They’re fine. I like how they’re really sour at first. The sweet part’s just okay though,” he commented. It was like a food critic giving his review. It made you laugh again. The doorbell rang. He set the candy aside and opened it up.

“Oh my! Snow White! Aren’t you so beautiful!” You exclaimed, fawning over the girl dressed as a princes. You gave her her candy.

“I’ve got something special for you too Princess!” Saeran exclaimed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a flower. “For you, Princess. Thank you for visiting us tonight.”

The mom was fawning over how sweet the act was. The girl was just excited to get candy AND a flower. She left very happy.

Next was a Reese’s cup. The second he bit into it his face formed an O. “I really don’t like it that much,” he confessed, mouth still stuffed with the candy. “It tastes like a peanut butter cracker mostly. If I wanted that I’d just eat a peanut butter cracker.”

“I’m surprised to hear it. Most people love Reese’s,” you exclaimed. He shrugged it off.

“Have you ever thought about having kids one day?” You blurted out, the words leaving your mouth before you could process what you were going to say.

He paused. “I mean... I’m not sure. After everything... I don’t feel like I’d be a good parent.”

You frowned at hearing his thoughts. “I think you were amazing with that little girl. I bet a kid would be lucky to have you as a dad.”

“Maybe with you I’d want kids one day,” he spoke, thinking aloud. When he realized what he said, he smacked a hand over his mouth, cheeks and ears turning bright red.

You giggled. “Me too Sae. Me too.”

He opened the next candy, M&Ms. “Which color should I try?” He asked, cheeks still dusted pink from the previous conversation.

“They all taste the same, so any.”

He nodded, then grabbed a blue one. You could hear him crunch through the shell. “Wait. I really like this.” He reached in to grab a green one, trying it as well. “Babe you need to try these. They’re SO good!” He poured a few into your hand.

You couldn’t hold back your laugh. “I’ve had them before, but thank you for sharing.” You tossed a few into your mouth. “New favorite?”

“I don’t even need to try the others. This is the one.”

The rest of the night flew by with plenty of trick-or-treaters. Saeran’s favorite of the night was the girl in the Snow White costume. Yours was the blow-up t-rex. The trick-or-treaters did NOT get many M&Ms. About halfway through the night Saeran had already consumed all of them. 

Finally, it was time to turn off the porch light and settle in for the night. “Did you have fun?” You asked, pouring the extra candy into a ziplock bag so that you could have some later.

“I see why you like this holiday so much. I think it’s actually my new favorite.”

You grinned at him, proud that you were able to make the night go so smoothly. “Are you staying the night or are you heading home?” You asked, moving the chairs by the door back to the dining room table. Saeran helped carry his.

“Can I stay? I’ve still got one more sweet I wanna try.” He had a glint in his eye but his smile was so innocent. Maybe you were reading him wrong.

“Kit-kats? They’re pretty basic but honestly I-“

He let out an exaggerated sigh. “Nooooo! I mean you.” He walked towards you, one hand resting around your waist, the other taking off your flower crown and setting it on the table. “I never got that kiss form earlier.” He pouted.

“I’m not a sweet,” you giggled, hand moving to rest on top of his own. “I’m just me.”

He leaned his forehead to rest against yours, noses brushing against each other. “My Love, you know that no candy is sweeter than you. At least not to me.”

You couldn’t wait any longer and pulled him in for that long-awaited kiss.

[therem-harth]

h h hewwo owoo 22 / 23 / 29 / 31 / 34 / 50 / 58 / 61 / 88 in any order, and u can also just. pick only those that u want :3

hhhh-ewwwo? I did say I wanted to chat and I desperately do not want to do work or studies so buckle in for a long post (derogatory). 22. role model? Oh man, I don’t think I have any, like, specific ones for entire things, though I do fall in my hero-worship phaes and then fall out of them like everyone else. I think that taking an entire person and being like I wanna be like them is... not for me though. But I do look up to some people for specific things - I look up to, weirdly enough, Abigail Phylosohpytube who I didn’t watch before her coming out for her graceful coming out video though she admits that the experience wasn’t obviously as smooth. I look up to lots and lots of people for their ability to create and their art (not gonna tag my fav artists bc am tiny and do not want people to look at me, but i do be reblogging). I look up to people like ConcernedApe Stardewvalley and Supergiantgames Hades for their ability to put so much soul in their work, smth I aspire to do. I look up to @not-poignant for, among other things, their idk how to say it best, wisdom in understanding and communicating with others and with myself? I’ve learned a lot by just sort of being in their periphery and seeing how they articulate their thoughts and choose to be kind and witness other’s pain. Hell, I look up to twitch streamers and youtubers sometimes (the recent nice trait I’d like to have if I ever went into bigger content production is how ibxtoycat deals with parasocial relationship realities). 23. strange habits? Hm. I don’t think drinking tea whenever I need a pick-me-up is strange, that’s just probably forcefully assigning a British nationality to me. I think my insistence on misspelling words in a way I think is lowkey funny might be one, I say thamks bc it feels softer, or thank bc it’s funny, I say sleeb, I say finkers or tryink or otherwise replace g with k for lulz. I also don’t know if it counts as a habit but I have a small leather band around my wrist that’s been there for a year soon. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I probs have like, stranger habits but I can’t recall rn. 29. best way to bond with you? Hmm. Well, if you show initiative and are explicit about wanting to spend time with me, that’s already a big chance of me spending time with you. And then if our interests match and I don’t think that you’re like, young in a way that automatically puts me in a position where I don’t feel comfortable really being myself around you bc in my head I have to look out for you (it has happened with two of my friends, sigh), and we regularly spend time together, voila, friend acquired. It simultaneously doesn’t take much and takes a bit to be my friend and bond with me - it’s easy af to become a casual friend cuz I’m always open to new people, but there has to be a level of trust to become like, a close friend. Respecting my boundaries, talking shit with me, being explicitly committal about wanting to bond with me are big steps that way. 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Uh, I don’t do neither, but a current fave that is reasonably badass is my black tshirt with like, a ritual circle and a deer skull. V edgy, 10/10. I also used to have like a real edgy tshirt with a jester and some dice that said the game of life, but I threw it out bc dysphoria. or maybe I put it at the back of my closet along with one other shirt In Case I Get Top Surgery so I can wear them then. 34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? Many, such is the nature of advertising, alas. I have managed to avoid most of it tbh though, so the only place I am forced to sit through ads so they stick is my scrabble capitalist nightmare app where I play and always beat haha my coursemate. And they have adds for those shitty apps where you have to solve a puzzle that ends up failing in the add and like, drenching a man in green goo. I find those kinda fascinating tbh. Who plays these games? Who plays these shitty shitty games whose ad has to be “prove your IQ“ to make you want to prove yourself to play them? Oh and also, the insidious nature of ads in media I consume - the mcelroys have gotten me informed about many many things bc they do it in a funny way. Have you heard about squarespace? What about meundies? I also literally installed honey yesterday that I knew abt bc of the relentless adds and I wanted to save, uh, 2.50 from my minecraft server purchase (and then spent some time googling how they make money before giving up. just say u sell my data, that’s easier than not knowing what part of this makes you money). I was tired and in a weird mood, ok. 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? It’s always the stupidest jokes, what matters more is laughing together with someone and getting caught in a laughing loop. I still remember laughing with my siblings until our stomachs really really hurt bc I think one of us said a rug was vomit-colored and it was funny in the moment. How many times have I laughed like that with you too, vit. I know that Laura’s one is nostrilatu, right? :D :D It’s just something that catches you off guard, I think.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Oh shid. Hm. 1) My ability to analyze data and understand the basic building blocks of something. Makes me cool at studying and sexy at explaining things to my course-mates. 2) Not a talent more like a skill that I’ve worked hard on through therapy - but my inner positive voice/healthy parent is very strong and automatic (something I was sure would never happen). A good example is me going out for a walk, my phone dying so I can’t listen to music, when I went in my head “well I can always make music in my head. do-do-do *drum sound*“ and I could feel the wave of self-reprimand cresting but before I could actually hear any negative comments the positive voice said with a light of a thousand suns NO THAT IS ACTUALLY CUTE AND SEXY and just haaaaaaah. 3) I sing good. Need to sing more. 4) I think I’m good at making conversation. Even with people I don’t necessarily like or want to talk to. More of a skill again but whatever. 61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Do not come to me and ask for favorites, witch. Uh, I have some quotes in my notes app, like 7 from Pia’s writing :D. But imma go with “It’s a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world“ by Mary Oliver. It counts, ok. Or, wait, something I will for real one day either crosstitch of commission shitpostcalligrapher: “t’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. “What are we holding onto Sam?” “There’s good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.“” 88. your greatest wish? Hrm. Right now? To have like a couple days with no responsibilities and without the outside world bearing on me as heavily, to be tiny tiny tiny so I’m invisible and can drink tiny tea on a tiny leaf. Uh, in general? My recently formulated wish or a goal is stability/peace. Then everything else becomes ok because you can bounce back to stable ground between feeling shit or everything happening so much. And I’ve sort of reached that. Also like, half a million euros would be nice too so I can get a house and a car and go on a few trips abroad. :D // there’s two ask memes in my blog recently, go wild

[mego42]

author meme

Tagged by - @sothischickshe

Tagging - @foxmagpie @pynkhues @missmaxime @hereliesbethboland @septiembur

ao3 name: ms_scarlet

fandoms: on ao3, the 100 and good girls

number of fics: 16

fic I spent the most time on: hahahahahaha oh my god song is going on 6 months what the fUC K

fic I spent the least amount of time on: probs a tie between as the world turns, the blunt burns and any of the prompt chapters. with the prompts i specifically challenge myself to do them in under 2 hours (i’d say this is why i’ve only filled 3 but really i’m just mercurial which, in this instance at least, is a fancy way of saying flaky).

most hits: an old alternative s4 the 100 fic but a song inside the halls of the dark is gaining on it

most kudos: there’s blood in my body (another t100 fic, my one and only AU), for gg, also song

most comments: song, which makes sense as it has, you know, chapters

most bookmarks: there’s blood in my body again, song for gg

highest total word count: ahahahahaha song by a mile

favourite fic I wrote: i don’t know how to answer this tbh, shamelessly stealing @sothischickshe’s answer of i’m partial to all of them for different reasons! i guess i’m currently particularly proud of the don’t close your eyes ‘verse (currently consisting of both hands and listening, i’m not saying there’s going to be a third part but i’m not not saying that). writing in so many (hopefully) distinct voices with unique and (again, hopefully) fully fleshed out feeling points of view has been a neat challenge and i’m p proud of how it’s come out. i am also absurdly into the way the timelines of both (and eventually maybe all three) pieces weave together even though i have to use a cheat sheet to keep it straight

fic I want to rewrite/expand on: i don’t hate myself enough to open the door to rewriting anything because if i started realistically i would never stop. i went back and started rereading the beginning of song to make sure i was looping everything into the ending right and had a solid three days of oh fuck i would redo, like, all of this. not necessarily because i think it’s bad or anything (though i am on a constant and never satisfied quest for perfection but that’s a personal problem we don’t need to get into) but because the way i thought about the fic evolved significantly over the course of me writing it and there’s def some thematic stuff i’d go back and build up more.

share a bit of a wip or story idea you’re working on: mmm well lets see, i’m most of the way through the draft of the last chapter of listening, so that’s neat. have had to spend an obnoxious amount of time in dean’s head which makes me feel dirty but whatever. i’ve also v v v loosely outlined a third part to round the ‘verse out into a trilogy. it’d be a beth POV 5+1 that would start around the beginning of listening (which is pre-both hands), fill in some missing scenes from both and probably end either concurrently with listening or not long after.

other than that, obvs working on the last two chapters of song which are p thoroughly outlined, just waiting to be drafted. i’ve also outlined and started drafting what was supposed to be a fairly contained sex pollen PWP but is already upwards of a ridiculous number of words and has mostly been plot so far so that, you know, went off the rails.

i’ve also been thinking a lot about the pacific rim au again. it stalled out because i could not for the life of me figure out how to address everyone’s canon kid situations in satisfactory ways and couldn’t bring myself to leave the concept of kids out entirely (i know plenty of people have written wonderful and in character examples of the characters without kids but my brain is stuck in a box and i can’t get there for myself, it’s extremely annoying tbh), but i thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink i maybe cracked it so we’ll see if that actually ends up happening 

at my current rate of production this should take me all the way through to the show coming back, maybe beyond so i think that’s probably enough. *kicks snippets, prompts and ideas folder under the bed* one day i’m gonna write a buffyverse au, though, it’s only a matter of time.

[springday-aus]

Rich Kid!AU with Suho [Junmyeon]

moodboard link 

Group: EXO 

Member: Suho / Kim Junmyeon

Genre: romance + lowkey reality check 

Type: Bulletpoint AU 

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: Suho has a black card and what else was I to do with this information? 

yes, I am making Junmyeon into one of those rich ass fuckboys

you know the ones I'm talking about

the ones that have an endless amount of cars

(and prob names them)

the ones who you can literally tell has not worked a day in his life

despite having so much money, he's dressed like a hobo

but it's like the branded shit

like Supreme or Gucci or Chanel

(and whatever else is trendy)

so it’s “fancy”

unless he's gotta go to like a charity event that isn't really for charity

then he's like in a suit

hm.... when he gets dressed up

he gets dressed up

anyways

let's start from the beginning

he inherited his money from his parents, who inherited it from their parents, who inherited it from their parents.. and so on and so forth

so the Kims have like a shitload of money

like

LOADS

like "I can swim in my own money" loads

except he tried it once when he was a kid

lots of paper cuts

also the gold coin thing

wow did that hurt

it was not a fun day for rich kiddo Suho

and this is very stable money, i.e. old money

so you can only imagine the amount of people who are practically kissing their asses to get partnerships and whatever else rich people want

oh my god, when his mother was supposed to get married—it was chaos, literally every man was throwing themselves at her feet

tsk, tsk, tsk—it was just sad

don't get mixed up, their parents are happy together

or at least they seem like it

lowkey it was an arranged marriage and, like all rich people, his parents like to call it a "partnership" more than a “marriage”

anyways back to Suho

if he's being honest about this whole thing, he doesn't know if he really wants to (or is going to) inherit the family business

he’s not even an official heir 

he has an older brother and Suho has watched enough dramas to know that the older ones are most likely to inherit the family business 

so what is he supposed to do? 

sure, they've been showing him what he's supposed to do

but does he actually know what he's doing?

or if he wants to do it?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

he's been living the same life he's been living since he was born

wake up, eat, shop, go home, sleep

yo, speaking of which

he legit cannot stop buying anything—he sees it, he wants it, he buys it

you know those ugly ass Gucci slippers

yeah, he got those

he bought two of them because they came in two colors

he wore them each like once and then it was never seen again

granted, he was shopping with Taehyung, one of his company managers who Suho had taken underneath his wing

Tae literally encourages people to buying stuff they don't really need

but like

he can afford lots of impulse buys

it's not like he's doing anything else

okay, that's a lie

he's also working at the office, but does it really feel like he's doing anything?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anyways, let's get back to his horrible shopping habits

this is very important because this is how you come into the picture

he was out one day with Sehun, walking around one of the major shopping centers

just as they were leaving

there was a protest outside one of the department stores

the CEO had like 50+ charges of sexual assault and he was just let off

and wow

these people were angry

so where do you come in?

you….. you were in the front….

with a loudspeaker….

saying some things that…. no one should be saying with children present….

anyways

you were one of the people who’ve organized the event

because this asswipe was still working and got off with a warning from all of these assault charges????

you were not going to let this go

hence why you’re in the front, with your loudspeaker—spitting facts and roasting this man in front of his business

yeah, y’all were a bit of a smallish crowd

(a group of about thirty people)

but anyways

Suho saw you and

wow

his interest has been piqued

you were cute—yelling into your loudspeaker and your fist in the air

you have so much passion

Sehun has obviously noticed Suho had been staring at you for quite some time 

it’s hard not to notice

just as Sehun was just going to push Suho in the order direction, that shitty CEO steps out

and……. in front of you……

you remained calm, letting his douche canoe spit as he rambles on about how these women were all over-reacting and that you were an idiot for spending your free time here and that you were nothing more than a liberal snowflake

at this point, people were all recording on their phones but this man clearly didn’t care and just went ham on you

and as he pauses to breath, you take your chance: “I’m the snowflake and yet you’re the one who needs to chill”

you see the anger just explode in his eyes and, as he continues to yell, he raises an arm

just as he was about to swing at you, Suho steps in

right between you and the CEO, blocking you and grabbing his arm

Suho: “and what is it that you think you’re doing?”

CEO: “let go of me”

Suho: “and let you hit this stranger? aren’t you just embarrassing yourself even more?”

for the first time, you can see him flush with embarrassment as he realizes the eyes and the cameras that are on him

but then he snarls at Suho: “who the hell do you think you are?”

Suho smiles, but it’s as fake as this man: “I’m heir to the Kim business, I could make you disappear in two phone calls, would you like me to show you?”

he freezes, before yanking his arm out of Suho’s hand and walking off

muttering something about millennials

he finally turns to you, as the crowd starts to disperse

Suho: “are you okay?”

You: “I could have handled myself, pretty boy”

Suho: “you think I’m pretty?”

**cue Sehun facepalming on the sidelines**

you sigh, tired from him already: “I can’t deal with this right now, that asshole is still out there and I’m not resting until he’s resigned”

you turn away, not even bothering to listen to his response and immediately head off

Sehun: “you really managed to blow that opportunity”

Suho: “shut up and drink your milk tea”

later that day, he may or not have used some of his family’s money for something other than meaningless shit

he was looking you up—you’ve done a lot of things and you have so many achievements

as well as enemies

yikes

he’s seen a lot of these people at the Kim’s charity auctions

and at business meetings

and the parties his family throws at their party mansion

oof—this is not looking good for him or these people

so what else does he do?

he does a bit more digging on you

is it creepy? yes

should he be doing this? probably not

so what does he find?

your fb, instagram, twitter—all the social media you’ve got

this is what happens when you have a lot of free time and you’re rich 

he’s not really sure these accounts are your personal accounts though

there are pictures of you and the causes you’re involved with

but they’re not about you

he will admit that he’s very impressed with all of the things you’ve done

you’ve managed to make some major changes

environmentally, socially, and lawfully

(local laws ofc)

it wasn’t done without a lot of damages and enemies

but (from what he’s seen) you’re tough

next week, you’re leading another protest against a makeup company because of their false claims of being cruelty free

and their microplastic beads that’s polluting the ocean

and the high water demand due to the large amount being used in their products

jesus you have retweeted so many scholarly articles

and they’re like 40 pages long

Suho doesn’t think he’s read this much since college

(well his family paid their son’s way through, but you get what I mean)

he makes a note to shop there on the way sometime next week

just do he can see you again

the next week passes, more slowly than Suho had thought

as it comes, he goes ham on his shopping trips—he’s going to ALL the makeup department stores

never really buying anymore because he’s too busy on the lookout for you

he says it’s a “business trip”

(ignoring Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae + Sehun’s side eyes)

these people are really kissing up to his asses

literally getting up to his face and trying so many products on his faces

it’s like the spongebob episode when all those perfume people are spraying shit in his face 

yeah... imagine that 

his vision is getting blocked and his face is getting caked with every passing hour he spends

just as he was about to give up

the days roll around 

and he finally spots you outside the shopping center with your loudspeaker and protest signs

you’re in a group circle, talking with some other people 

who Suho is going to assume are other organizers

he manages to kind of sneak over as y’all are discussing 

you were discussing the main points and what the game plan was

Suho was just…. there…. 

you didn’t even know until everyone was dispersed to their positions

Suho: “so what can I do?” 

your eyes narrow at him: “pretty boy?” 

he smiles, so stupidly bright: “yeah” 

you eye him up and down: “are you lost? don’t you have a department store to get to?” 

Suho: “this is a department store” 

You: jesus christ 

You: “okay, in case there was another misunderstanding on my abilities, I can handle this” 

Suho: “I understand, I just want to help” :) 

you nearly growl at him, what an idiot 

you don’t realize you’ve been staring at him for a while, until a friend of yours steps up next to you and give you a little nudge 

your friend whispers to you: “he’s a Kim, his involvement would mean more exposure” 

you let out a deep sigh and shoo her away to deal with the stragglers who’ve just joined 

You: “do you know why we’re here?” 

Suho: “false claims of the makeup being cruelty free?” :)

You: “lucky guess” 

You: “okay fine, we’re gonna be here for a couple of hours—he’s arriving soon and then he’ll leave, just as he always does and we’ll have to rally in case he gets aggressive”

Suho: “okay, got it” 

he gives another smile and is so compliant, you figure he’ll be here for a bit and then leave 

but, to your shock, he’s there the whole you’ve been there

which is like two hours longer than the others were supposed to be there 

and even after the whole thing, he asks you what else is coming up 

with another push from your friend, you reluctantly share the information with him from your organization’s website and facebook group and all this other stuff

but let’s be real, Suho already knew some of this stuff due to all of his internet stalking

it doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate you sharing the information tho 

anyways 

he comes to the next one—just as you told him from last time 

and the other one

and another one

eventually, he just makes it part of his schedule to come and help out

at first, you didn’t really think he would show up

and when he does, you asked why

Suho: “I have a lot of free time”

somehow you don’t doubt that

the more he’s been coming, the more interested you were

not in the sense that “oh he’s so attractive for fighting for these causes alongside with me” interested

it’s more of the “what does this sneaky motherfucker want” interested

so you do some digging and it only confuses you more

shouldn’t be fighting his brother for that heir position for the Kim Incorporation?

why is he so interested in being part of this fight that involves… well, him?

isn’t he worried we’ll start attacking the Kims?

a lot of the other organization members notice it as well

because I mean, have you seen him?

(he is very attractive)

but also because this big name hot shot is at these small group protests, when he should be in a meeting or something

it doesn’t mean his efforts aren’t appreciated

he always gets the group things like food and supplies for strikes that last for longer than usual

for instance, you and your organization went to join teachers who were striking for a better contract with the school district

Suho came running with more posters, loudspeakers, shakers, coffee, sandwiches

the district teachers absolutely adored him—they even took pictures with him 

but, you will admit that it’s nice to talk to him, despite the differences in social class 

he likes talking to you too 

(maybe more than he likes to admit) 

it’s just 

you have this fire in your eyes 

the passion in your voice is clear 

and you know what you want and you go for it, without any mercy for anyone who gets in your way 

but you have that sensitivity and awareness and drive to help others that’s the whole point of you even being here 

he wishes he had that

but, these last few weeks

he actually feels good to help you out

whether it’s running for supplies or providing donations for causes you’ve told him about  

he feels purposeful

he feels good that he can help all these people and that his time is actually useful

and now, your organization is getting more exposure, which is nice

…. until the media gets involved and starts to paste Suho’s face on it

and that’s when you realize what he’s been doing

the Kim family had been using this whole thing as a reputation tactic

you feel stupid letting him into this

what you wanted to do was make a change for those who couldn’t advocate for themselves

and now all your hard work is being passed in the hands of some rich guy with way too much time on his hands

so, you did what you did best: dig some dirt on some filthy rich people

turns out there was a previous scandal with the family

they underpaid their staff

lots of people were getting low/little income and they were at a disadvantage because they were in a position where they couldn’t quit

when word got out, they said they would raise the wages

but some people say that these people didn’t

so you’re gonna find out—you snuck around their estate, talking to the staffers about the incident

most were unwilling to talk, but there were a couple of people who shared with you

they talked about they had medical bills, student debt, disabled family members, etc.

they had to work here and have to continue

apparently it was said that they would receive raises, but it isn’t livable—they only had 10 cent raises, but only after working for 5 years at a time

office workers obviously were higher up, but the servant staffers at the estate were taken advantage of

even after it was exposed, they didn’t really do anything about it

while you spent a couple of weeks snooping around

Suho had been at home

his parents were clearly upset because he’d been spending too much with the lower class

Mrs. Kim: “it’s good for our reputation, but you can’t keep spending your time with them”

Mr. Kim: “why can’t you be more like Dongkyu and spend more time in the office”

Suho: “I’m not even inheriting the company, why bother working?”

Mr. Kim: “of course you’ll inherit the company, alongside with your brother—it’ll be an even split”

Suho: “what if… what if I don’t want to inherit the company?”

Mrs. Kim: “what else are you going to do, if not a businessman?”

he doesn’t know why, but your face flashes in his head at that moment

in fact, you might get along with him better if he lost the inheritance

he wouldn’t be able to donate anymore

or get any supplies

maybe his support would be enough

the only question is to whether or not his family would cut him off

so, he speaks the truth

Suho: “I… I don’t know”

it’s been a couple of weeks since he’s seen you, so when he comes to the next meeting…

he was a bit excited

but when he comes

that fire is in your eyes once again…  but it’s towards him

Suho: “hey” :)

You: “so when were you going to tell me that you’re an absolute douche-bag”

Suho: “what?”

You: “your face is all over our hard work and now you get all the credit?”

You: “not to mention, you don’t say shit about all these people who you work with”

You: “also your family is garbage—really? underpaying the staff and lying about it?”

he’s…... speechless

on one hand, you’re right

and on the other…. you’re right

what is he really doing here?

is he actually making a difference?

you, on the other hand, you’re….

you’re amazing

you have been able to draw attention to all these issues

and you’ve been able to make these changes

you might not be filthy rich, but it doesn’t mean you don’t have any influence

Suho can’t really say anything other than…

Suho: “I’m sorry”

You: “you think that’s enough?”

Suho: “no, it’s not enough, I just don’t know what else I can say”

to be fair, you should be really pissed—you are pissed

but he looks so dejected

you remembered talking to him about his family ties and their family history… is not pretty

so you soften up a bit

just a bit

but only because it’s him

the one who always comes with a smile on his face

the one who comes with more than enough supplies because he wants to make sure everyone is comfortable

the one who hangs around you because he knows how tired you are

the one who stays and listens to you rambling for hours about a million different social issues

you put a hand on his shoulder

You: “you don’t always have to say it, sometimes it’s a matter of doing”

thanks to you, he decided to do something

for another couple of weeks he doesn’t see you

but you?

you def saw him

on the news

he got busy

he went on his usual schedule (like his parents wanted)

but this time

he wasn’t quiet about it

I’m talking about pointing out the environmental drawbacks of these products

calling out the people during the “charity” events

cutting of trade with those who don’t give fair wages

he’s even actually been trying to actually raise those wages for the servants in the Kim house 

(of course with the request of your help)

and wow

the news are just having a field day and eating it up

so that ultimately means his parents are seeing all of this

and what happens?

he gets cut off

he’s no longer inheriting the Kim fortune

Dongkyu is getting everything and he gets nothing 

but with your help, he’s a successful business consultant

turns out that business degree did do some good

he helps develop local businesses and the money he makes

not only goes to good causes

but also to help promote your organization

with the rightful faces on it

as for you two?

let’s just say, you’re a lot closer than before

seeing his drive to help others

the effort he makes to recover from his blissful ignorance

you’ve grown a soft spot for him

as for Suho

he’s glad he has you

you’ve made him a better person

made him realize all the different things he can do

you two working together + practically dating?

the organization members are eating it up

(and you’re pretty sure they were betting but no one would say anything to your face)

anyways

dating a former rich kid! Suho is a lot more fun than you would have thought before

lots of dates are at your (or his) apartment

mainly yours because he’s got a studio and has a roommate

(he is broke)

anyways

you spend a lot of time working on building cases against companies

it’s mainly work bc humanity is evil

but when y’all aren’t working

it’s cuddle timeeeee

you would put shows on, but y’all aren’t watching

you spend a lot of time in his arms

or him in yours

(he likes being a little spoon and isn’t afraid to admit it)

and, as his official partner, you are always supported by him

Suho: “WOO-HOO YOU GOT THIS ANGEL”

You: “omg it’s flipping an egg, I’m not receiving a medal”

it’s cute tho

and ofc you got his back

when he was kicked out of the house, you straight up wreaked havoc

all those people were spreading rumors, you shut that shit down

when he kicked out with nothing more than a duffle of clothes, you became his safe haven

you helped him get back on his feet 

found what he really wanted to do

and he was able to find someone really special

you ♡ 

[fanguuuhhhrl]

Im kinda obsessed with I-Land right now. I love 23 boys and if possible i would like them all to debut but the elimination is in 30 minutes so im going to post my top 12 picks before it airs (kind of in order, kind of not, im biased, this is based on an unsure mixture of skill and personality, could change but most likely not):

1. Sunoo- BITCH!!! WTH!!! I JUST LOOK AT HIM AND MY SEROTONIN LEVELS BURST THROUGH THE ROOF!! He is a puppy!! He is amazing. If you didnt know anyone yet and you put all 23 boys in a line up. He will draw your attention with his sunshine smile :)))) he is so heartwarming. Most people be like "i have no filter" but they just be mean, but this guy is different, he literally has no ability to hide what he thinks but it never comes off as anything negative. He says "Me! I can do it!" but it's just endearing and never comes across as trying to show off. He says "there was a little bit of friction" and when the members look at himshocked, he looks at them shocked too.... theres no dull moment when he's in frame. It's so amazing how pure a person can be. But know that i am not just rooting for personality but for talent. his voice... His Voice!!! Vocally geonu and heeseung really slayed the butterfly performance but if you ask me, "save me" had a more emotional attack. His facial expression is just brimming of feelings. His voice is so raw. Also You know that part in save me where he transitions from head voice into chest voice really smooth??? You'll know what im saying if you see it. thats so fucking satisfying that i had to replay it so much. I definitely replayed the save me performance more times honeslty. And the way he dances!!! It might not be That refined yet but that's the charm... it's so raw and full of emotions... so like him. I can see myself stanning this group long term if he debuts with them.

2. Jungwon- tf i love this boy so much. his visuals already stood out to me when they were entering i-land, then his voice stood out to me in the first challenge... he did that hard ass choreography without any audible changes to his voice that i had to rewind that multiple times (more than the editor already did) then the moment i saw him dance the center in episode 4??? BOY???? BOY!!!! that was my breaking point... i can't believe im saying this about men but i already knew i would die for him... plus he is so sweet :((( his eyes are just so naturally cute but i was so shocked in the last challenge when he was able to pull off that fierce ass look.... i am devastated... im about the same age but my parental instincts are at work here. plus SPOILER ALERT to those who plan to watch he won first place in both the first and last challenge can everybody say jungwon ace

3. Geonu- my feelings for him are much like jungwon :((( except theres more parental instincts... and i say this despite being younger than him but whatever age is just a vibe... HE IS SO LIDDOL :((( i want to be his mom :(( at first, personality wise, it's hard to notice him bc he's a little calm and laidback... but its the little things that draw you to him :((( his glasses and hoodies just seem a little bit big on him and that just makes me smile for some reason... he cries silently when people are sent to the ground and he gets along well with the people... i noticed him first together with jungwon in the first i land challenge because they had the most stable performance. but i've never been more attached to him than when he sang butterfly (favorite bts song anyone??)... i honestly thought they could debut then and there and i wouldnt bat an eye... also it's so funny that the one thing i identified him with during the early episodes was the fact that whenever the camera pans to him, he just has the dead eye stare and parted lips (think: pokerface but confused) especially with the huge ass glasses but in the end the poker face thing that stuck to me became the thing that worked against him i cri

4. Jay- hold on folks this is going to be a long one. Jay has such a powerful personality that at first made me hesitant about liking him... idk he just seemed like the guy i would not vibe with in real life, but the longer time passed, the more he became one of my favorites and i root for him now like crazy. at first it was funny when they kept rejecting him for the vocal parts, but the more it went on, i was so sure that if it was me, i would have cried and dropped then and there, but it was so amazing watching him push through that and he didnt even lie about how he felt. his unique determination is such a breath of fresh air, a little heartwarming and oh so inspiring. i honestly learned a lot from just watching him. the time he went to the ground was so crucial to his development as a person, leader and performer. it was so mindblowing when he became the leader at the ground and even adapted heeseung's teaching methods. you know that meme "improvise, adapt, overcome?" he is the exact personification of that. what i loved about him the most is that even with his steely determination, he didnt enforce or project that on the other grounders, he just shared it with them. he understands when they need rest, encouragement or massages. he was such a caring leader. Skill wise- i can't say anything. He already proved himself so many times. Great dancer and potential vocalist. The mnet specials also show how much sweeter he is than the show shows him to be. He takes care of everyone, and has more of mother duck than street gang vibes (and he knows how to cook!!). And at the end, while he seems to be mostly self- oriented about debuting, he ends up spending most of his time teaching others and helping them improve. I just love him. Debut Jay 2k20!!!

5. Sunghoon- tf this guy is so cool and laidback that i didnt even pay much attention to him during the early parts but he just keeps crawling into my heart because so many members love him so damn much??? and he just goes along with them?? they want me to do triple axel while average people can't even do a single axel on a trampoline?? ok imma give them a double axel tho. jake is challenging me to arm flexing? yeah why not? k wants me to dance?? yeah lemme just spin 50 times. jay wants to shower together?? weird but im not strongly against the idea. ej wants to scare people? count me in. someone needs a hand to hold?? ok here's my warm hand to the rescue... everyone just wants to be his friend that he birthed my favorite sunoo scene "im cuter than him [jake]" and he was just like "yeah ok i guess so" sksjsk sunoo is that how you ask someone to be your friend jshdk??? and can i just say? as a figure skating fan, he has automatic +52536 points... and when the judges said he's the most natural performer out of them??? i vibed with that hard.. he dances well so naturally and he takes your attention without even seeming like he's trying to. that dance performance with k and jungwon?? i thought at first that his energy wouldnt catch up but damn boy my eyes were just trackingnhim the entire time unintentionallu that i had to rewind and he was just as great as all of them... with the additional benefit of being a stunt boy!! and though it might seem effortless, we saw that he practiced so hard for it. overall a 100/100 boy with a naturally charismatic personality that bleeds into his performance... as a fellow 02 liner i would also like to apply as his bestfriend thank you

6. Heesung- what can i say except he's a perfect boy ok thats it why are you still reading... jk... ok lets talk about him... skill wise?? I cried during the butterfly performance. i marvel at his vocal stability. his voice is so crystal clear. his dancing is so clean. his skills are superb but most of all, theyre already so refined. there's nothing more i could ask for. personaloty wise... i also have a lot to say... despite his celebrity status, it's awesome how he can make the other trainees comfortable with him. he's kind and soft and lovely.

but because i am me, i have to overanalyze people so idk skip this if you dont like that. for someone who's experienced being an academic achiever... i sure do vibe with his personality a lot... you know when there's a group activity and you're so sure you can lead it well but you don't want to? half because you dont want to come off as a show off and half bc you genuinely still have self-doubts, and you're scared of falling short of expectations. Also, you feel that if it all fails, you'll be responsible so you have to feel that everyone approves you before you can take leadership and show your entire thing. And the moment you feel validated and take the reins, you start unconsciously projecting your perfectionist attitude on people??? yeah... i love that despite being an almost perfect person he still has issues most people can find relatable and that, in addition to the talent makes me want to root from him. (im also going to take a stab and guess that his mbti is probs ixxp) i'll be honest tho, because its like 100 percent sure now that he'll debut, im not super attached to him??? i love him tho but he's just not in any danger so i can just let my support for him chill. i think amidst this, bc most of the trainees depend a lot on him, i mostly hope for him to take care of his mental health

7. Daniel- awww danielll... i went into i-land not knowing anyone's ages so i had a brief whiplash feeling when someone said daniel is 15... it's because he's so emotionally mature?? like he's such a supportive and caring person that it barely struck me the that he might be the youngest?? he already caught my attention when they performed "any song" bc they just seemed like they were having fun and doing their best without the pressure of whether they would win ir not, and for me that attitude is something you'd see from more experienced performers. and during the second ep when he just felt the need to comfort everyone bc he's got such a high score?? i loved that an i was so bummed out when they eliminated him. the save me performance was definitely a cherry on top that i just had to love him more than i already do... he may be young but he's as ready to debut as everyone else.

8. Jake- jake is just one of the people who showcased so much growth between ep 1 and ep 2. he already had the right attitude when they performed crown and he just had to improve skills and stage presence, and improved he did. despite being one of the trainees with the shortest training time, he was the one teaching the others by the end it just supports my theory that he might have been an ace as well if he just had the same amount of training as everyone else. im also truly in love with his mischievous antics. he seemed like an introvert to me at first but he came out of his shell and i love that. also i just crave more moments of him and sunghoon's friendship (they both seemed like introverts who found someone they could be extroverts with in each other) i am 👌this close to storming i land and demand that they let me join their merry little band of 2002 children

9. Niki- dance skills= 100 he's just so good it's unreal... it's insane... everytime he's on screen i hear boss musicand i cant even imagine him being younger than anyone, let alone taki. i get why some people dislike him but honestly i think it's just because they don't see him as a child... but he is. i was honestly a bit mad for him when they kept guilt tripping him into leading all of them, and i understood his tjought process when he thought he just kept failing everyone and when he thought things just kept backfiring on him. he is held on such a high pedestal and i dont think he deserves that kind of burden. as for me, it would just be a waste of talent to let him go. his attitude could still improve, as we'd seen when he eventually volunteered to help everyone. i also felt bad when he said that he's scared he might not be voted bc some people dont base on skills and i love him and i just want him to kmow that he's loved

10. Taki- what the hell can i even say?? he's the kindest softest boy ever. he tries to see the good in people and is very hardworking... he listens to people well and actually follow them, so he improves a lot... he knows people think he's cute and he tries and tries and tries to look fierce if the song calls for it... he is amazing

11. K- i really can't say anything, he really stands out during performances. also very pro at dancing. his choreography??? *chef's kiss* and i think the younger trainees depend a lot on him, besides heesung and so he's good at keeping the team together.

12. EJ- im really hesitant about the last person to be the twelfth i lander because it could almost be anyone and i wouldnt be too bummed out bc theyre almost all equally talented... the thing with ej tho is he already gets along well with the i landers and has harmony with other members. (plus see above: im a sucker for the 2002 line) i think its a tiny bit unfair to base it on this bc the others didnt even get a chance to show what they can bring to the group so im torn.

bonus: i wouldnt feel too bad if it were jaebeom (he has great voice, the producers think he's not too stand out bc he's weak at dance, but the i land is already so full of people whose expertise is dancing, so i think there should be someone who's specialty is singing), kyungmin (i really appreciated how hard he worked during the last test and it actually paid off, i honestly noticed him there even if he was always at the back. i also loved his determination and i was so touched when he and jaebeom were talking and he said "there's really nothing to do but believe in the impossible right?" it's just that the i landers were already ahead of him in terms of skills so he failed the votings) and hanbin (i've watched his cover videos and he's really good at dancing and stage projection. like i was honestly wondering why it wasnt showing in the performances :((( and he hadnt even had too much screentime to actually See what he's capable of.