#I really love the character of Troy if you cannot tell

[insom-nom-nom-niatic]

IT'S RAMBLE TIME!

I decided to re-watcH FTWD S 3E8 and here are my thoughts:

The chemistry between Madison and Troy is making more and more sense. I was always on the cusp of if that relationship was seeming to be motherly or romantically (I don't like the latter to get that cleared up) but I spoke to someone recently who brought up that it's more of a mentor ship. And now that just solidifies that even more!

I somehow forgot about the scene where Madison is basically laying out what she dealt with and what she had to do in her early life with her father and her mother being who they were and what her father was... which ties in so well with what Troy had to deal with and survive growing up.

In my own eyes, I still think that Troy had it a bit worse, his parents weren't a spectacle in the community and had the community known what was going on with Madison's father growing up, I feel like something would have been done. Whereas, when it came to Troy's up bringing and Troy's father and mother... no one would have spoken out to save him. 

When Madison learned of how Troy had to grow up with his mother hating him and the just mental abuse that that brought on plus also his father constantly being a drunk and abusive in his own ways, she was able to empathize with that. She knew that she made it out of that situation and wanted to help him do the same.

I still think she was also secretly knowing that she was mentally manipulating Troy. I would like to also clear that up.

But in a sense, she was trying to help him get past his past and learn to make use of what he was dealt with.  maybe she even saw a lot of herself in him and that's why she didn't kill him.. until she "did".  But she was given many opportunities to, and chose to stay calm knowing that he wouldn't do it and she didn't fight him otherwise he possibly would have.

 Madison put down her own father for what he did to her mother constantly. She took that matter into her own hands and fixed the problem herself.  and said she would do it again! But then you have Troy on the other hand who did not do that and probably would not have ever done that. And that shows the difference between the two of them and their cases of dealing with trauma.

With that said, both are protective as hell!

Madison did what it took and did what she needed to do to protect her mother. And has done the same thing to protect her children and anyone she loved. She would play dirty, put down whoever needs put down, or die for those that she loves.

Troy does what he sees is needed to protect that farm. Even more, the people that are a part of that farm. He would do anything to protect any of those people which included everything he's done plus also knowing and fully being OK with dying for any of them.  he has always been ready to do what ever is gruesome he needed to protect all of the people he cares about and loves. 

And when Jeremiah said "to hell with them" speaking of his own children and saving them and everyone there at the ranch, he spoke about one being a crybaby (I'm saying that one's Jake) and the other being "a chip off the old block" (which I am thinking is meant to be Troy)... meeting Jeremiah knows exactly what he did to his son. He does seem to have a little bit of remorse, he did thank Madison for helping out Troy, but in someway he almost seems proud that he created a son to be just like him. But Troy ended up doing better than his father. yes, he did some not great things... but that's also some thing he would have been taught. That death is better than handing over the ranch. (I don't know why I felt like this need to be a part of this post, but it should be)

I wish we had more time of seeing Madison and Troy have it out and either an angry conversation or a very emotional, connected conversation where both could just let everything out. Show that neither of them are the villains or the big bad guys that everyone else tries to see them as. ( Madison, not so much the big bad guy that everyone sees because she had most of what she has done from anyone, but Troy has definitely not hit anything which to me is more loveable)

There is so much more to be said and to converse about so if anyone has gotten to this point in the post and would like to chat and go on about this subject or any subject, please don't let me feel alone in this!



[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 14

chapter 25:

1. james accepting his own death will forever and always be heartbreaking

2. “Though, honestly, James had meant it when he said that he wishes it had been Regulus. Maybe it's a strange, pyschosexual thing, but he feels like he's sort of been flirting with Regulus and his daggers this entire time, so to be stabbed by him would surely have been more satisfying. Regulus would have made sure James felt it, adrenaline or not. He isn't sure why that's so attractive to him, but it really is. Maybe James is in shock. Maybe James actually does have a knife kink. Maybe James is just in love, and he wants anything he can get from Regulus, even if it's literal death.”

ik this is a big chunk of quote, but like what. james. james. james my boy. these are wild thoughts to have. also, you definitely have a knife kink, but only for regulus. not on anyone else. james. you. dear, wtf (i love you) 😀 sir.

3. god, james is so earnest on his death bed. i am also, fyi dramatically sobbing

4. shit shit shit shit no. SIRIUS!!! SOMEONE!! HELP SIRIUS! HES LOSING HIS BEST FRIEND AND HE IS NOT OKAY

5. zar is correct. it is sock-sock-shoe-shoe. that is the correct way.

6. 😀😧 regulus is troy. not the trojan horse, but instead troy. i-

7. “James is dying, and Regulus hates him. James is dying, and Regulus loves him. James is dying, and Regulus hates and loves him, because they were always one and the same.”

stop no, this is actually cruel. this is heartless. i don’t know how someone with a good conscious or loving heart could write this

8. god no shit no. i finally stopped sobbing. then there was the line about james asking reg to go to dinner with his parents because effie and monty are used to feeding two kids. i- shit. shit. no

9. HE’S TELLING REG TO TAKE BACK THE HAT??? NO THIS IS CRUEL

10. i actually want to quote this entire chapter, but i cannot do that. so therefore i would like to offer up my tears. and reg deciding there’s no point in going home if james potter wasn’t with him, because james potter was his home

11. 😐 he threw food away, but kept the handcuffs? reg dear, wtf

12. REG IS GONNA SACRIFICE HIMSELF TO LET JAMES GO HOME?? HELL NAW

13. HE CALLED JAMES BABY??? AGAIN??? (fwi i have voice recorded and sent sobbing over this fic to my irl marauders friend. hi iko!!)

14. 😟😟 oh god damn. he actually went in the crimson river. wait shit. how the hell is he gonna survive this?

15. “In his panic, in his haze of pain, it's Sirius he instinctively calls for.” 😀😀 just rip out my heart, it would be less painful

16. THE VENOM!! THE THREAT TO KILL HIMSELF IF HE DOESN’T GET REGULUS BACK!! THIS IS LITERATURE AT ITS FINEST

17. regulus is just tossed out the fucking river. they both survive. lmao this is kinda funny

18. not the symbol of the hallows being the deathly hallows. yikes.

19. i’m kinda disappointed that slughorn gets a POV cause like, that POV needs to be given to one of my faves, so they can be guaranteed to live.

20. dorcas my beloved. she’s such a bad bitch

21. okay wait, i might actually grow to like slughorn as a character. he’s being brought to the phoenix. so like, maybe he’ll be super helpful

22. LMAOOO DORCAS MY QUEEN!! “”How does it feel gamemaker? … Are you entertained?”” AHHHHHHHHH

23. unnamed woman: my guess is mcgonagal

24. after reading the authors notes, i realize we have been blessed. zar decided that reg would not die in the arena. and thank fucking god. thank god. i would not be okay if i read ahb then this. yikes

[noemitenshi]

Do you have an ultimate all time fave Troy scene that you could gush about forever?

Oh god that's such a difficult question. Honest answer would be 'no' because I just cannot choose. I have *so many* favorite Troy scenes that I love to go on and on about. Like, really, I think every ep he is in, I've got at least(!!) one scene I could gush about. I mean, I can't even tell you which ep I love him most in.

Though I do have at least two eps my mind goes to first when asked for favorite Troy scenes - ep 9 and ep12. And again, there's a lot of scenes to love in there but I think most about ep 9 is the confrontation with Madison (and, of course, stabbing his hand on Klah's knife. gotta love that enthusiasm). He's so vulnerable during it, like we get another little puzzle piece of his rich inner life that he keeps so closely guarded (ok or maybe it's also that he wasn't really a hm POV character or someone we should sympathize with that's why his... reasoning or motivation for a lot of things stayed hidden from us 🤷‍♀️). Anyway, the way he says "is that guilt" and "you let *your son* shoot him" (im obsessed) jesus there's a lot going on there. It seems like betrayal a bit (see also "i thought you were cold-blooded"). Also note how he's more fixated/upset over that part, Nick (and not Madison!) shooting Jeremiah instead of, you know, Jeremiah having been shot/murdered.

Also the infamous "I don't surrender" line, I mean, that's Troy in a nutshell, isn't it? No matter what is thrown his way, no matter how people treat him, he tries and tries again. He does so with Madison (I mean, right before she kills him he tries to move past all that shit right, tries again to connect with her), he also did so with his father, staying loyal to him, obedient, through all that abuse and humiliation and belittlement. I think the same is also true for his relationship with Jake, even though the cracks there can be seen, and also for his relationship with the people on the ranch at large. They talk about him, too, but he still protects them - I mean until he led the horde there, of course. But by that point he was dealing with a lot - his father's death, his own exile, Madison's 'betrayal'.... Anyway, I don't surrender, that is so very Troy. And maybe sometimes he'd like to surrender, give up and be done with everything but that's just not in his nature. Probably why he can't kill himself. Why he also keeps going, when Nick tells him "you can sleep when you're dead". Try, try again, even when people keep beating him down. Downright endearing if it weren't so heartbreaking.

Anyway, ep 9. The scene with Madison. I got distracted. The way he goes "hi" after he's done hitting Klah. The way he kept jabbing at her over Jeremiah's death "You hit your quota?" when she tells him "no more killing" (hahahah makes me laugh every time). The way the gun does not impress him at all. Just casually walking up to her. Mostly sure she won't kill him but I think he wouldn't have minded if she had, either. The voice break when he tells her "i know what you did". The expression he makes when he asks "and why wasn't it" after she goes "It should've been me". There's that betrayal. Sadness. Ok maybe also because his dad died. Maybe because they kept it from him. Maybe because she didn't ask *him* to do it.

And then, the very incomprehensible (he is the one that isn't comprehending. but then also he is. this is how it always goes, why would it be different with madison) "i thought you wanted me with you". As he asks he knows already she doesn't. But again, he's trying as much as he can, to get through to her. Until the heartbreaking "I'm tired. I'm so tired." That's probably as close as he gets in asking for help. He did it with Nick too later, in ep 12 ("I need sleep" he told him but he meant rest). He thought he'd die and these people just refuse to get the job done and so he has to live, live with all this loss and he just, he needs a break. So desperately that he says one of the most vulnerable things (so far). "Im so tired." Unfortunately Madison either doesn't hear it, or, more likely, doesn't think she can give in to that (no wonder, he did just attack her after all). And when that fails, this cry for help (in like Troy-speak), he goes. What else is there to do? He'll go and survive because that's what he does.

---

Now, ep 12, I love the confrontation between Jake and Troy (the little convo in between, between Nick and Troy - "murder, you really wanna go there, nick?" "still ricocheting in your skull, nick?" "you tell it best, nick. I don't want to steal your thunder" "don't say sorry to me, say sorry to him". It's lovely, all of it). And then of course the sibling confrontation. Also very lovely. We see Jake finally giving in to what he's wanted to do for a long time, I wager. He has been fed up with Troy since ep 1 (and before that too, I'm sure. Their interactions do tease a history between them).

"I love that sound" - also very much a contender for favorite line. Also gotta admit I thought he'd say something different (and more uh x-rated) when he went "I love that sound some love when a ball hits the fat of a bat, you know" Anyway, just another reminder that Troy loves all things to do with danger and control. (And I don't even think this has to be in the obvious way, where he loves to be in control, though I'm sure he does. But that he also loves the loss of it when in danger. When at the recieving end of a gun (you best believe I've got a story for this, too, 'fool me twice'... I'm sorry, I cannot stop the shameless self promotion....))

Also I just noticed, how he says "It's eviction or extinction" and you know who else got famously uhm evicted. Adam and Eve. So yeah, when he says "this is biblical" to Nick, the night before, to warn him, he really means it like that.

And then the bit between the two brothers. How Jake tries to impress upon Troy he'll really kill him "I'll shoot you brother, I will" and how Troy *doesn't even hesitate* to pull the trigger himself, almost like saying "fucking do it then". Or he is mocking him. Probably both, considering it's Troy. And he was right, wasn't he, to be mocking. Because Jake doesn't kill him (yet). But Troy tries to rile him up further. He almost sounds panicked in a way, but not in fear of his life. Maybe in fear of Jake *not* going through with it after all.

And then their whole rabbit bit, how Troy looks at Jake while he goes "rabbits they, they scream like human beings", that calculating look. How he interrupts Jake with this mocking laugh and a "oh, tell me about the rabbits" Jake is totally ignoring Troy's interruption, going "I still protected him" and Troy telling him "You left me, brother." And then Jake again, insistently "I always protected you!" and Troy isn't saying anything to that but he doesn't look amused anymore. God I wish Nick would've shut up so we'd really get into their grievances between the brothers. But sadly (or maybe not so sadly haha) he wanted to save Troy because he was feeling guilty about killing his dad. And it gave Troy the perfect opportunity to torture Nick about this, also very enjoyable. All in all, a great interaction all around.

Oh and of course the "you thinking of checking out? we could do it together" has me chanting death-wish, death-wish, death-wish hahahaha. I do think he'd have liked it to go together with his brother. It's sweet somehow. In a way it feels like he wants to help his brother on this journey. Like, then his death means something. And then how he licks his lips when Jake gets ready to shoot him. Is it anticipation, fear? Who knows. Would love to ask Daniel about it...

AND ALSO THE TITLE 'Brother's Keeper', that's a biblical phrase “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Cain said to God when God asked him where Abel was (and Cain had killed him). So I wonder, is Jake Cain then? I mean Jake *does* die and Cain, well, famously does not. But then, it's not Troy that kills Jake. It's Nick hitting Jake before Jake can kill Troy. Would Jake have even killed Troy? I'm not sure. I'm just sure that Troy would rather have died himself than seeing Jake die... anyway, "Am I my brother's keeper" I think this question taken at face value is actually Jake's gripe with Troy. That he feels he is made responsible (probably from a young age, given the little glimpse into the past we got via those video tapes) for keeping Troy in check. While, I imagine, Troy doesn't really listen to Jake (and Jake has no real power over Troy so he can reinforce his will), so a thoroughly frustrating experience for Jake, all in all. And yes, maybe this, assembling a horde and leading it to the ranch, would've given him enough motivation to be able to uhm enforce his will. But maybe not. I guess that's me saying, love the title, love also how we get a bit more insight into the brotherly relationship. Though I *so* wish we got into it even more. Like what did Troy mean when he said "Oh, tell me about the rabbits". Sounds like there's a story there (and yes I did try to imagine it in my story 'childhood memories').

This was a lovely ask, I enjoyed answering it. Thank you so much and have a great day 🧡

Also, I hope it's ok to invite people to jump in, if they feel like it, and share their favorite Troy scene. I'm so very curious 👀 gimme, gimme (also don't feel the need to ramble on like I did hahaha, though if you want to, have at it!)

[magicwithineleteo]

Bestie you like Rina right? What's your favorite moment of them from each season? 💖

hi twin!!!

yes i love love love rina i’d say it’s my favorite ship from hsmtmts and honestly maybe top 10 ships in general <3

this is gonna be really hard bc i love their overall journey so much and i can’t name just one moment from every season so i’m gonna name a few per season bc i cannot choose lmao

also there are countless parallels i left out bc i forgot them

season 1:

- character introductions

okay this technically is an honorable mention but i still think it’s important, in the character introductions video, when asked if he’s intimidated by gina, ricky says…

No, actually. Can’t say she does.

i love this line bc everyone was intimidated by gina. she was new, a triple threat, an ultimate bad b who was confident in herself. and that scared the other kids. but ricky was the only one who wasn’t.

when asked about ricky, gina says…

Ricky intrigues me…and I don’t get intrigued.

AHHH??? sorry that just is so AHHHH

- skatepark scene

this scene, i’d say is arguably one of the most important scenes in the whole show. ricky is basically done w the show because he thinks that he’s ruining the show and if he stays in the show, nini will leave and she needs to be the lead, so he unofficially quits. he’s just been scolded(?) or idk nini ranted about how he’s ruining it and how he sinks. he goes to the skatepark and who does he see? gina. now i know her intentions weren’t the best at the time, and she at the time just wanted nini out, but that conversation is what kept ricky in the show, as he confirms a few episodes later. she literally was the only reason he stayed with the show, he was literally about to drop out for nini. she reassured him after him already doubting himself and not knowing what he was doing and nini being rude to him in front of everyone.

That’s why I was stoked when she casted you. Outsiders keep everyone else on their toes. I mean it. You kept us real.

It’s probably better to have someone up there who can actually keep time. That 5 and 6 stuff?

You don’t need Carlos to tell you how to move. He bites other people’s styles. You have your own.

- homecoming car scene

this scene is monumental in the shows history bc this is where rina was officially born i’d say. this scene literally changed the trajectory of the show. firstly, the rina cue was born. he once again says that gina isn’t scary or intimidating.

Let me guess, you pictured a raw iron gate and a bunch of gargoyles?

Kinda. You’re not that scary.

then he confirms that he stayed in the show solely bc of her

I kinda owe you a thank you, actually.

For what?

You’re the reason I stayed with the show. That night at the skatepark? You set me straight, and it’s been a big deal for me, the Troy thing.

Well it suits you.

[…]

You know I…I meant what I said…at the skatepark about you having your own style. I don’t even think I knew how much I meant it when I said it.

and then in the next episode he says that he can’t forget anything that happened at homecoming. WHEN SHE SAID ALL THAT AND THEN KISSED HIS CHEEK

- when there was me and you

gina was the only one who supported his acoustic idea and he played it for her and SERENADED HER. the entire season and show people have been rude to ricky (nini, ej, his parents, miss jenn) and gina is the only one who consistently supports him <3

not only does gina like ricky but he’s also her first friend at east high, the first person she broke her walls around.

at this point, ricky isn’t chasing after nini anymore. and gina isn’t chasing after the lead anymore. they’re both free to just be.

ricky only starts to pursue nini romantically again after gina leaves. because what was he gonna do about his feelings when gina was leaving forever ?? and he was focused on gina too, constantly texting her and trying to talk to her after she stopped showing up to school. he only started liking nini again or focusing on his old feelings because gina was out of the picture and they didn’t think they’d ever meet again. which is why the next section is :O

- stick to the status quo

this was a BIG deal because ricky really thought he’d never see gina again and to see her onstage , performing , was a big shock. she kept re emphasizing how this was her last time seeing them and how it’s one night only.

Don’t blink, you’ll miss me.

The disappearing Gina act.

One night only!

ricky knew she wouldn’t be back so there was no point to do anything with his feelings, because he buried them down after thinking he’d never see her again. what was the point of confessing to her that he likes her if she wasn’t gonna be in his life anymore? she pretty much cut communication with him after she left so there was no point. so he focused on nini and confessed to her.

we later learn there’s more that happened that night.

but now, ricky is with nini and gina gets a surprise offer by ashlyn to stay with her for the next semester.

BOOM SEASON 1 ENDED

season 2:

- valentine’s day conversation

god this scene is so packed .

ricky and gina’s relationship is based on understanding. they say things in this scene like

Valentine’s day is kinda hard for me this year, and I thought of all people, you would understand.

You did?

Yeah well..my mom’s been my valentine every year since I was 4. I guess I thought she would send me a stuffed bear as kind of our tradition. Um, but I just got off the phone with her, and it sounds like she forgot. But she works crazy hard hours. So…

Yeah, I…I get that. Um, missing your mom.

I knew you would. Sorry, there’s just some things I tell you that I don’t really tell anyone else.

Yeah, no, I think we do that for each other.

this conversation reminds me of the one they had in thanksgiving which is also a direct parallel of gina coming to ricky’s home and them understanding each other like no one else where this happened…

Is everything okay?

Yeah, yup…okay, no. I guess my mom has a new boyfriend and it’s just a lot. Sorry, I hate to be a downer.

Look, I…I get it.

No offense, but I’m not sure you do.

Let me guess, you’re mad that everyone and everything because just when you’re getting used to things changing, they change again. Am I close?

A little bit.

[…]

Do what makes you happy.

ricky and gina are incredible because he’s the boy who hates change and she’s the girl whose world is always changing, and they find solace in each other.

- opening night flashback scene

this scene also is so pivotal!! we see gina confess to ricky that she would’ve pursued him had she not moved away. this scene is so beautiful. we also see ricky later regret not stopping her.

You were amazing out there, Ricky. I mean, Breaking Free?

Um, guess so.

Trust me, I’m a theatre person. You guys made some magic.

Yeah, it was actually good to get something right, for once. I guess you have that feeling all the time.

I don’t do anything right the first time, Ricky. My thing is that I just keep pushing. And I never quit.

I know you don’t.

So, I guess I just wanna say that…um…sorry this is so stupid, I don’t know why I’m crying.

Say it.

I wouldn’t quit on us if I wasn’t moving away…So now, I’m gonna give you a really tight hug, and then I’m gonna walk away with my head held high. Okay?

Okay.

AH THIS SCENE IS SO PACKED

firstly, gina supporting ricky again, telling him what a great job he did.

gina says here that she doesn’t do anything right for the first time. this quote itself foreshadows her romantic ending. because in season 3, she has her summers of firsts. first boyfriend, first kiss, etc. this was her first confession too. and it didn’t go the way she wanted it to.

ricky was so gentle w her and is always so gentle when she’s crying :’)

but this scene explains why ricky and gina don’t really speak much. gina confesses to him as the plane was crashing and is staying away from him for herself and out of respect for him and nini’s relationship.

ricky knows that gina likes him, but just got with nini. he doesn’t know what to do, especially since gina is staying now. he pushes down his feelings for her now to focus on nini. he tries to keep their relationship the same by going to her for advice, but she sets the boundary of not confiding in her about nini. he respects her wishes and really doesn’t speak to her for the entire season. and by the time he is single again, even if he wanted to pursue gina, she was already having a thing with ej. there would’ve been no point. he was stuck with his feelings, trying to juggle his dying relationship with nini, repressed feelings for gina, his dad and miss jenn dating and his mom and todd dating.

they both were going through a lot this season. gina literally almost leaves salt lake because she’s so heartbroken.

- second chance

skipping to the end of the season, the entire song of second chance is just so rina coded.

ricky sings

But there is something in this summer wind, a moment to begin again.

and reiterates in this song

Begin again, begin again, begin again.

they all sing

What can make the tide turn? What can make the fire burn? A second chance is all.

they’re saying that the thing that can change the tide and ignite the fire is a second chance.

(also insert the lamp between rina thing here)

ricky also says

Here’s to second chances.

season 3:

- start over

ricky literally says before he goes to camp

This summer is all about second chances.

and then gina says this to him

Can we just start over?

Yes, definitely.

[…]

We’re in a new place, we’re different people now. We can start fresh. No drama, no chocolates. Summer’s supposed to be fun, right?

Yes, totally agree. Summer of fun!

this was so important.

obviously gina is currently happy with ej and even though she has lingering feelings for ricky, she’s excited to have her friend back and is focused on her relationship with ej. ricky is being finally free and is just enjoying himself. no thoughts in his head whatsoever <3

- what do you know about love?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

so earlier ricky was appointed to play gina’s jilted ex who still has feelings for her, and he actually does have feelings for her. gina is currently mad at ej and has old feelings for ricky too. when asked to perform this song and “have fun torturing ej”, this masterpiece was born.

the chemistry is insane the tension is there ricky is WHIPPED gina is swinging him around 10/10

then after, val describes ricky as heartsick and gives her psychological analysis on him

and then later ricky confesses that he wasn’t completely acting when pretending to be in love with gina

- color war events

1. firstly they spent the day together and had lots of fun

2. ricky helped gina set up the little promposal for ej and i think this scene really shows how far ricky’s grown.

in season 1, ricky, while i love him infinitely, purposefully sabotaged nini and ej’s relationship because he loved her. he tried to split them apart and then eventually stopped. in season 3, ricky is in love with gina, however he wants to see her happy and recognizes that currently, ej makes her happy. so he helps her set up this canoe thing for her and watches her surprise ej. he just wants to see her happy, whether it’s with him or without.

then he goes to his bunk and cries

I can’t believe I let color war slip out of my fingers.

You mean Gina?

he’s upset that he didn’t pursue her, that he shouldn’t have let her just leave. he regrets what he did.

this also parallels the quinceñero episode when gina cries seeing ricky and nini.

also both of them saying “you’re the best”

honorable mention- the coat check scene being a direct parallel of homecoming and showing ricky being gentle with gina again after she broke up with ej and ricky being gagged when he sees gina

- kristoff lullaby

this song is so them<3 and lucaya

every single word applies to them.

What do I know about love? Everything I thought I did, you’ve gone and changed it kid. You’re what I know about love.

ricky looks at gina as he sings this part.

AHHHH

it’s perfect for them because she did change his idea of love. like i said earlier, she’s helped him grow. he went from loving nini selfishly, holding onto her desperately because she was his only constant and he would do anything to keep her with him, to loving gina selflessly and purely wanting her to be happy and to thrive, with or without him. he learned to be able to let go because of nini. he had to let her go because he loved her. now he loves gina with no pressure or anything.

it’s him finally letting his feelings out, he’s repressed them the entire time, whether it be because he was with nini or because she was with ej. but now, under the character of kristoff, he’s letting his love be.

and i think that’s so beautiful.

- you’re a yes

gina’s whole confession was so so important and everything about it was perfect to me.

a lot of people thought that ricky should’ve been the one to make a speech but gina making it makes sense. she didn’t confess right the last time (because she doesn’t do anything right the first time) as well as the fact that she was the one who was in a relationship and ricky was respectful of it. he didn’t want to say anything to her because he didn’t know if it was too soon for her to move on or not. it had only been a month since she and ej broke up. gina had to make that choice herself. not him.

i’m gonna go into depth about her confession:

He’s wrong.

Sorry? Who?

EJ. He said we all saw this coming. But I didn’t. Not that night in your car after homecoming, or when I made you that hat at Thanksgiving and the floppy little ears looked so dumb, but..it was honestly one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen. God, Ricky Bowen, you have been a surprise since the day we met. You weren’t the plan, you were never the plan. Plans change. And, if you want me to shut up, I’ll shut up but, I don’t have maybe feelings for you. You aren’t a maybe. You’re a yes. And I like to know where people stand with me so now you know where you stand with me. And so, I’m going to walk out of here with my head held high, and I’m never gonna look back again. Unless you stop me.

Wait.

[They kiss]

okay so now we’re gonna go line by line bc this is genius lyrics

obviously the parallels in the beginning, gina references season 1

You weren’t the plan, you were never the plan. Plans change.

this references 2 things, #1 being ej and gina’s conversation in season 1

What happened to the plan? I think I’m missing it because I’m still the understudy, and you seem pretty happy, so what changed?

Nothing…everything? I don’t know.

So you care about Ricky?

And what if I do?

and also tim’s feelings about rina

And, if you want me to shut up, I’ll shut up but, I don’t have maybe feelings for you. You aren’t a maybe. You’re a yes.

this directly references gina’s breakup with ej, because she says that maybe isn’t good enough for her right now.

And so, I’m going to walk out of here with my head held high, and I’m never gonna look back again. Unless you stop me.

Wait.

directly references her first confession

So now, I’m gonna give you a really tight hug, and then I’m gonna walk away with my head held high. Okay?

Okay.

last time, ricky let her walk away, but this time he didn’t repeat his mistake. and he stops her and he kisses her <3

the end! that was my very long unnecessary post <3 i love rina thank u for asking twin ilysm

[fluffypotatey]

Why "Full Speed Ahead" is the Best Expositional Song

as some of you may have noticed, i am very in love with Epic: the Musical, and i need y'all to know just how great it is. for one, it's the Odyssey in musical form (2 of my favorite things). for another, the lyrics, the musicality, the choices the writer/composer Jorge rivera-Herrans makes are so clever and witty and ingenious and UGH! so good *chef's kiss*

so i could go on for hours (probably days) explaining why each song is beautifully made.

"The Horse & the Infant" is a wonderful opener, sets up the background context since this story's a sequel to the Iliad (basically, a "previously on Homer's epics").

"Just a Man" JFC WHAT A SONG! IT IS SO GOOD! SO HAUNTING T^T a wonderful set up for Odysseus' character and his arc in the story.

"Warrior of the Mind" sets up the relationship between Odysseus and Athena and what their conflict will be.

but i am not here to go on for days about the musical. i am here to go on for (constrained) hours about one song and why, in my opinion, it is one of the best expositional songs i've ever heard.

OK SO BASICALLY

Trojan War is over. They've won. They can go home! the music itself sounds triumphant and ready for adventure. Odysseus even says how marvelous it is that even when the war was cruel, he never lost a single man.

BUT, then we get the whole point of why their on the ship. "Make it back alive to [their] homeland," and it is sung in a more serious tone. the music also shifts and cuts off to really let you know how important this is. Immediately, you know 2 things: Odysseus never lost a man, their great challenge now is to get to Ithaca.

AND THEN, Odysseus sings how the "problem's not the distance," as in the issue won't be sailing, but really what they might meet on the way. And it is sung by the men who interrupt Odysseus (foreshadowing mayhaps :omg: ) to let the audience know that the real obstacle is "what lies inbetween" Troy and Ithaca.

AND THAT'S JUST THE FIRST PART!!!! Already, the audience are given 3 facts: Odysseus and his men cannot wait to go home, Odysseus was successful in not losing a soldier in Troy, trouble lies ahead. Due to well placed tone shifts and musical chords that go from triumphant to foreboding, we get clued in that there's a strong possibility not everyone will make back alive.

Now on to the characters (yeah, we ain't done :3 we are far from done). See, this song does not just set up what kind of story we will be getting, it also introduces you to the characters that will be sailing with Odysseus on this journey. However, these characters are so much more than companions to our dear friend Ody, but we'll touch on that later.

EURYLOCHUS: how he's introduced is just *chefskiss* because he repeats Odysseus's melody, but his lyrics talk about the new issues they are facing (no food). There is loyalty and deference as he speaks to Odysseus (and you feel that because he sings Odysseus's melody), but already, we see those cracks for him to doubt and question his captain. He's unsure where they'd find the food, he's worried about the size of their men since it's a lot of people to look after. And though Odysseus answers him by essentially telling him to observe where the "birds fly" off to, Eurylochus will continue to be doubtful about everything (their food supply, who to trust, etc.)

POLITES: [Baby boy] is introduced with a fucking key change into a major key. How his lyrics are sung so hopeful (note that he's the one to shift the tone and melody of the song, demonstrating just how important he is to Odysseus/the story), and how he's the one to find the island. He's the one who assumes that people might reside there and they could talk to them. Already, we learn how optimistic he is as well as Odysseus's relationship with him is more casual than it was to Eurylochus since he answers back to Polites with his name in the fondest melody ever T^T

AND FINALLY, why are these characters more than just companions to Odysseus? It is because they're a literal personification of Odysseus's internal war with mercy and ruthlessness. The OG heart vs. mind!

I will explain.

Eurylochus is Odysseus's remnant of the Trojan War since what they would do while at Troy to get food and survive was raid villages, be brutal, fight fire with fire. The mindset of the war has not left him, nor has it left Odysseus because Eurylochus is that part of Odysseus that has not shook off the old habit of ruthlessness. It does not help that the last act Odysseus made in Troy was kill Hector's infant child soooooooo....

Polites is the more merciful side of Odysseus. The side that wishes to approach things (with Open Arms) more diplomatically and peacefully rather than with force. We even see this side pop out during "The Horse and the Infant" when he is trying to find other options that would spare Astyanax from the fate the gods are pushing on both him and the child.

By the end of the Trojan War, Odysseus is tired of it. This war was 10 years long. He wishes to go home to his tiny island and kingdom and reunite with his family. He is done with war. However, despite leaving troy and desiring to escape the horrors he's seen, Odysseus will find himself not only in conflict with the monsters that lie between him and Ithaca, but the conflict of his wartorn-self and his merciful one.

-

and that, my friends, is why i love this song so much. everything about it is just so carefully chosen in the best way, and i love it.

go listen to Epic: the Musical

[olderthannetfic]

i've noticed something over the last 10+ years, and i've only recently put a name to it: the girlboss-ification of female characters. I'm usually in manga and "classical" fandoms. We all know that female characters get the short end of the stick when it comes to writing compelling characters, but in fanfics, it seems like more people would rather re-imagine their characters to "fic" them instead of writing the character with more focus on how they fit into the actual themes of the work. When people write Sakura from Naruto, they give her All the Things. every male character is in love with her. She's a tired, no nonsense, conflicted veteran in their fics. In the source material she gets a lot of questionable writing choices, but her purpose is to be a wallflower and an outsider who contributes more to Sasuke's arc in how no one is willing to understand him or his clan. Or they take characters like Helen of Troy and make her into this badass warrior with superior cunning and rage. In the Iliad, she's just a woman who is subject to fate just like the others there, but because she's a woman, she cannot be the subject of myth. So, she's constantly being torn between who she really is and who people think she is, being a woman in the present vs being an afterthought in myth. She's just as conflicted by her internal binaries as all the other demigods like Achilles, Hector, and Sarpedon. But this never makes it to people's stories. I don't think female characters need to do the same things as men to be interesting characters, but is it really so hard for people to imagine a quiet, reserved, typically feminine woman as being a good character with interesting themes and interiority? Is this the next stage of "I'm not like other girls" syndrome?

Was it always this way or has it become more prevalent recently?

--

People write eternally leveling up mary sues because they're fans of canons about eternally leveling up gary stus.

I'd argue that they understood Naruto's themes better than you did.

All those Weekly Jump series tell us over and over again, implicitly, that characters like Naruto and Sasuke matter. Whether they do good or evil, their thoughts, feelings, and dreams matter. Characters like Sakura get endlessly sidelined and then used as an epilogue het marriage reward.

Furthermore, consuming canons like Naruto teaches writers how to write arcs based on punching real good. It absolutely does not teach anyone how to write some subtler narrative about a reserved character. Those are often harder to write anyway, but they're certainly harder to write if you don't like that kind of content in the first place.

I don't think female characters need to do the same things as men to be interesting characters

This kind of statement always puts my back up because it tends to accompany a bunch of crying about how I should like genres I don't like or else I'm invalidating the crier's taste.

My mother was a great aficionado of those works about three generations of British women spending the summer in a house in Tuscany and somebody has terminal breast cancer they haven't revealed yet. In other words THE MOST BORING ART KNOWN TO HUMANKIND.

That shit is choc full of nuanced female characters who are valued for something other than punching stats. People who like that are already off consuming that. There are tons of them. It's a taste that is far more validated by society for a feminine woman than liking action movies despite action movies getting more respect in some quarters for not being a "chick" genre.

I'll certainly like a cerebral detective who has her way with any man she wants like Phryne Fisher or a nerdy disaster like Evy Carnahan, but traditionally feminine wallflowers without guns, horniness, ten times the brains of the surrounding men, etc. are everything I abhor in a character. I don't relate to their gender presentation and have often been told I ought to. (A common experience in fandom, frankly.) Wallflowerness is hard to write well, and it's not something I relate to either, nor do I find it fascinating in its difference from me.

Write your own aspirational heroines, dude.

Don't go looking in the least likely place and then get mad that you don't find what you're looking for.

(And yes, it has always been like this. Not least because what you're really complaining about is weak writing skills.)

[sotwk]

hey! i know you've probably answered some of this before, but which of your OCs is your favorite- whether your favorite to write, or to imagine headcanons for, or which has the character design/background you're most proud of or most looking forward to writing more of in the future?

Hello Anon! (Whether you're the same Anon who has asked me the other questions about my OCs or a new Anon altogether--I love you!)

I did answer a somewhat similar ask a while back where I babbled on about how I wish I had more courage to write and post stuff about Queen Maereth, my Elvenqueen, beloved Mother of the awesome Princes. She has a TON of history I meticulously interwove with Tolkien canon that I have written down only in notes. Alas, I am so terribly gun-shy about sharing them and I hope that, with a bit more encouragement from Readers (like you!), this will change soon.

But below the cut I will answer YOUR awesome question:

Favorite to write, or to imagine headcanons for: I genuinely cannot choose amongst the four OC princes which one I enjoy creating for because I can honestly say they inspire and excite me equally. What's so fun is that they're all different from each other, with their one common quality being they're all such GOOD GUYS. When I think of ideas for the 5 brothers (favorite food? hobbies? kissing style??), I go across the board, so they all have equal amounts of HC information in my notes.

Character design/background you're most proud of: Character design-wise, not necessarily most proud of, but I will admit Crown Prince Mirion is my favorite, purely as a matter of personal taste. I subconsciously based a lot of his characteristics on Hector of Troy, who is for me THE ultimate hero prince. Plus I gave him Henry Cavill (most beautiful man alive imho) for his face claim, so yeah--I kind of just created my ideal blorbo in this character.

Most looking forward to writing more of: AH! So the funny thing I was just telling my friend @achromaticerebus earlier is, some Readers have commented on which of the OC Thranduilions they like best, and no one has yet chosen Prince Turhir as their favorite. I am not at all offended by this (neither would Turhir really; he could care less about being popular), but I do find it amusing since Turhir is the most like Thranduil in both personality and interests. Everything I have written so far about Turhir shows him as a hardened warrior who's colder than his brothers, so I look forward to showing the softer (in)side that's actually pretty sexy. I think he's the type of person you just need to get to know before you fall head-over-heels for them. Did I mention his face claim is Sam Heughan, Jamie from Outlander?

Bonus writer secret!

I have been toying around with ideas for a possible (possible only, cannot stress that enough, I am afraid to promise anything, lol!) multi-chapter story that places a female OC or Reader in "Golden Age" Woodland Realm, where the lucky lady gets to hang out with the entire Royal Family and their household. Turhir is my top choice to be the leading prince in this story and the potential romantic interest.

Interested in SotWK content?

Introduction to SotWK

My Headcanon Masterlist 

My Fanfiction Masterlist

[abednadirsgf]

do u have any abed hcs?

okay I've been thinking about a few over the last few days and I have:

he likes listening to gwen stefani (abed sings to 'What you waiting for' around the apartment and him, Troy and Annie sing the line 'take a chance you stupid hoe' to one another whilst holding toothbrushes/hairbrushes and troy using a carrot as a microphone and jumping up and down and pointing at each other

^^ that was a big one im sorry

ummmm he and troy swap socks so like they're wearing one of each pair each (like one pair has pizzas on it whilst the other pair has gnomes so they both have gnomes and pizzas on their feet lmao)

this is becoming more trobed/roomates hcs than just Abed 🧍‍♀️uhh

anyways, I feel like he talks to plants and has this really cute watering can that Annie gifted him and he waters plants in the apartment or keeps the plants around Greendale classrooms in health

he doesn't drink coffee that often bc he gets too jittery and gets the shakes so sticks to decaf/water/soda (i cannot drink coffee bc I literally start shivering it's a problem)

umm Abed likes boba tea with tapioca bc he likes how squishy the pearls are and he and Troy have a competition who can fit the most amount of tapioca in their mouth (they end up spewing the balls EVERYWHERE and Jeff steps on them accidentally in his $500 gucci shoes🙄 Jeff just wear converse like the rest of us you dork)

likes crunching plastic bottles after he's used them, like he just grips it in his hand and likes to hear it crackle idk I like the crunchy sound lol

has a journal/scrapbook of allll his favourite references or ones that he wants to use (Annie helps with the decoration and sticking screencaps from the movies/tvshows in it <3)

If you can't tell, I love Annie and I also love Troy (BRING TROY BACK TO GREENDALE PLS I MISS HIM)

uh newayz - Abed likes to listen to WTNV and gets Britta to eventually listen to it too bc nobody else will and Britta gets super invested in it and they plot out the entire timeline and all the characters together (especially when Britta moves in)

Makes falafel for the group after heavy persuasion from Shirley and then also teaches her how to make it too!!

bestie knows how to sew and irons most of the clothes of his, Annie and Troy's and whips out and iron from nowhere when Jeff comes in hungover with his shirt all crumpled (lol)

This was more than a few but tell me if you like em! and drop any of your hcs too, I'd love to hear more <3

[castelleve]

Anon asked: Who are five of your favorite characters? (In the rp community or otherwise)

oh god there’s so many in the rpc i love to death??? idk if im just gonna limit it to 5 tbh its so hard BUT HERES SOME OF MY FAVES IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER: I really love @zhuangshii ‘s Shao. She is just. So well written. And you can tell so much research and effort and love was put into her character?? On this blog we stan crazy MILFs ok 

@batoushoujo ‘s Tem. TEM IS JUST??? SO EASY TO INTERACT WITH??? SO GOOD??? There’s a lot of depth to their character, and i really love the relationship between her and Damian. 

@suizokukans ‘s Cian is also a big fave, he’s just such a joy to interact with. The dynamic between them and Henri is so funny and just so??? good??? I really love how things really are just Simple and Henri cannot wrap their head around things not being complicated. Cian is such a troll, too. 

@desparialuna / @slaughtcrhaus​ ‘s Mimi. And Lili. And Centrias. And Kanou. And Mari. And Gio. And every other muse I’ve interacted with cause they’re all just??? Very unique and there’s so many all with different voices and y e a h

@hhemeraa​ / @matteblackstars​ ‘s Myles, Nicholas and Troy. I DON’T KNOW TROY THAT WELL, but I like how they all just sort of bounce off each other personality-wise. Like Nicholas is so innocent, contrasted by Myles,,,, Mylesness. In addition, Troy seems to be low energy which also contrasts Nicholas. And I love how in depth the relationship between the three go. Even when were not actively threading, it’s a joy to read about them.

ok thats,,, more than five BUT ITS FIVE USERS AND IF I KEEP GOING IM NEVER GONNA PUBLISH THIS ASK SO-

[nahmanidontwantto]

Jeff Winger from community makes me feel seen as someone with npd. Since I'm bad at explaining let me state some quotes (these will not relate to everyone but I find these to relate to how my npd affects me) :

Season 1:

Tw for suicide for this quote;

"The next person that offers me charity or pity will be mentioned by name in my suicide note." -Jeff after his friends offer to give him a place to stay when they find out that he is living in his car.

"Jeff's character acts like nothing affects him but things bother him more than he lets on." -Abed describing who Jeff is as a person.

"For some reason I always thought that I was special and different. And I guess I just have a really hard time when I want to be good at something and I suck." -Jeff talking to his friend Pierce after Jeff got upset about the guy in his pottery class is better at pottery than he is.

"Jeff, you're a normal person. There's nothing very special about you at all. You're going to be great at a few things, but really crappy at many more. And that takes a lot of the pressure off so you can live a full, happy life. Oh, and sorry it took me so long to tell you that, and it was only in your imagination. My bad. Kind of a sloppy mom." -Jeff's imaginary mom making up for excessive praise he was given by his real mom when he was younger without letting him know that it's okay to not be good at everything.

"Look, I treated you like a child for having feelings. Maybe because that's, you know, when I stopped having them." -Jeff apologizing to Annie after treating her badly for wanting to keep the group together.

Season 2:

"You're right. He's a bad friend. But he's a good lawyer. Now I appreciate you guys caring, but you have to understand that I don't. Caring is lethal around here. It's a disease. You guys have it. I don't. So if you do care about me, don't infect me." -Jeff after his friends exposed his old lawyer friend for getting him fired. (Side note: right after this conversation he says "I think I caught something. At Greendale." to his old lawyer friend)

"Hell no that guy is useful to me. Thanks to you, I've now got leverage over a spineless jag that just made partner. That is the place I want to work. But I prefer to hang out with cool people. People so cool, they care." -Jeff's response to Shirley asking him if he punched his old lawyer friend in the face after he dipped out of the party his friend was at. (Side note: I find this to be what I consider good rep of exploiting a relationship because he and his friend needed something from each other and they got it, understood that purpose, and were both okay with it. It shows that not all exploitative relationships hurt someone. When all was said and done though, Jeff chose the ones he found more fun to hang around with.)

"It might not shock you guys to hear the real reason we had a fight today. . . Caring about a person can be scary. Caring about six people can be a horrifying embarrassing nightmare. At least for me. But if I can't say it today, when can I say it? I love you guys. Oh and Pierce? Take it from an expert. These knuckleheads are right outside your heart. Let them in. Before it's too late." -Jeff in a text to his friends after they fought.

"See, prison was my walls. But you put your walls up. You and your phone, and your attitude, and your Fruit Loops cologne. Your walls put up so tight, man, not even a blade of grass could get through. But even if it did, you wouldn't appreciate it. That's why you can't come back to my class." -The biology teacher explaining why Jeff cannot come back to his class after he got kicked out.

"Yeah, I lied, but you seem to have a harder time being the bad guy than me." -Pierce taking responsibility for something he did not do for the sake of Jeff.

Season 3:

"You know what Jeff has in his bathroom? Neither do I. He keeps his toiletries in a safe under the sink. His whole personality is based around guarding himself." -Britta talking about Jeff to Troy when he asked why Jeff picks on him all the time.

"You know what I think would make the perfect toast? You, as Shirley's friend and a good guy, just saying what's really in your heart. There's something real in there. Maybe that's what scares you." -Annie giving advice to Jeff for his speech at Shirley's wedding.

Season 4:

Tw for graphic details halfway through to the end of this quote;

"I'm sorry. You should take some credit for who I've become. So, let me tell you how I've turned out just so you're crystal clear on your impact. I am not well adjusted. More often than not I am barely keeping it together. I'm constantly texting, and there's no one at the other end. I'm just a grown man who can't even look his own friends in the eye for too long because I'm afraid that they'll see that I am broken. So you get credit for that. One time, when I was in seventh grade, I told everybody at school that I had appendicitis. I wanted someone to worry about me. But when Beth Brandon asked to see the scar I didn't want to get found out so I took scissors and I made one. It hurt like hell, but it was worth it because I got 17 cards and I still keep them in a box underneath my bed 22 years later because it proves that someone, at some point, cared about me." -Jeff Winger to his dad during Thanksgiving after he hadn't seen his dad for over 10 years.

[the-clockwork-three]

Swan Lake is a classic for a reason. Beautiful story. Amazing music. Incredible choreography. I do wish Ireland had... Literally any other ballet playing. Our cultural scene is incredibly stagnant. Just Swan Lake and the Nutcracker. Anyways this is musing from the production I saw today (technically yesterday)

The set for this production was very Greek (???) to me, especially in Act 1. (Not in the sense of the phrase but actually like Greece). There was a lot of pillars, and marblesque seats and fancy pots full of flowers. The lake was a lake in the even acts and the Act 3 ballroom is very plain. However the costume design was normal, which is to say they could be from anywhere in western Europe. But they were all sparkly so that's a plus

Act one. That's a pas de trois. You cannot convince me that that dance with the bestie and the two girls is not a valid Grand Pas de Trois. A dance together, everyone gets a solo, then they are together again. Swan Lake says polyamoruos rights. And this polyamory really want a fourth, but Seigfried keeps being like "nah it's alright, you go ahead I'm going to stay here". He is NOT interested in their advances.

Random half-joking headcannons aside, the crossbow was like really pathetic. It was pure white with what looked like delicate carvings and gems and I genuinely thought it was a pickaxe for a second before I remembered the plot. It's just.... My dude that's not going to hurt a fly it looks like your mum bought you a nice decoration. Also, if your mum gives you a crossbow in the first scene I expect you to have shot it at the evil wizard by the last one. Chekhov's gun,,,, or what I like to call it, Seigfried's stupid little crossbow

Anyway MIME STRIKES BACK. We all know that ballet is incredibly tied to mime as an artform and so the only way I'll my communicating the concept of marriage from now on is by laying one hand over the other and giving loaded looks. Anyways ballet is so silly and I love it

Act 2. Cygnets. I love cygnets. Give me more cygnets. I've also performed a lot of act 2 so the music is a little burned into my brain. Watching it made my feet hurt from remembering standing still for 3 solos

Anyways, here we meet Seigfried's first, but certainly not last, cringfail moment. He is the lands worst marksman. God help us all.

Also he proves himself to be an absolute wife guy. Odette has this lovely solo and he's just on the sidelines giving her heart eyes.

Act 3 <3 I've said it before and I'll say it again. I LOVE WHEN BALLET IS CLOSER TO ITS FOLK DANCE ROOTS. Character dance? Yummy. 3/5 of the folk dances were character. AND TARANTELLA. I LOVE SPAINISH DANCES. Rad grade 4 dance f (maybe. Possibly) is my favorite dance I have ever done for a ballet exam. If you take nothing of this watch RAD grade 4 dance f. The tamberines in the fourth dance were clearly missing their cymbals though. You can hear the dancers pointe shoes clunking against the stage, you would be able to hear the tamberines. And when they smack the thing there was the merest clink. Again as I have done the tarantella in rad grade 4, I can tell you that dancing with tamberines is LOUD

And then we have Odile. My boy you're so fucking stupid. I love you, but you are good of heart, dumb of ass. But the dance was breath taking. Of course. Fouttetes<3 and then Seigfried's pirouettes à second<3 I do think the ballerina fell out of the last fouette so she might not have done the full 32, or if she did she needs to work on her technique of stopping. Show stopping though. And? Then? At the end of the grand pas de deux????? The way Seigfried gripped Odile's hand and pressed it to his cheek. Raw devotion. It made my heart wrench. My boy is just so fucking stupid.

It's also really interesting to me that the Grand Pas de Deux goes to Odile. Odette does not get the dignity other tragic heroines get. The main dance in her story doesn't even go to her. She doesn't get the fouettes. Her love, her spotlight, her story was stolen from her. I think that's what made this veiwing of swan lake different from my earlier ones, as I understand the structure of ballets now. Also this one I'm seeing live

Act 4. May have laughed when Wizard Man crawled off stage. He was so wet and pathetic. Can neither confirm or deny.

Alright back to the idea of devotion. Seigfried to his last breath looks to the sky for Odette. He tries to give her what he gave Odile by mistake, his declaration of undying love. He presses he head to her hands with a desperation. He would try a thousand times over if they had the time. Odette for her part forgives him. She raises him from the ground when he feels the weight of his sins pressing down on him. She does not hold a grudge, but that doesn't change that she is scared. She knows Rothbart is coming, and the other swans are anxious with her. But they stay together, because that's what love is, right? Staying by someone's side, through good and bad, and forgiveness.

I'll be honest, I was not expecting a kiss. Not every romance needs one yanno. Sometimes pressing one's cheek to their loved ones hands communicates just as well as a smackeroonie. And if someone never kissed me but did the hand thing, I'd believe they liked me (note to self, possible solution to icks the idea of kissing gives you.). But then they did kiss and :D tbf it's implied that they are both super dead and on the way to heaven but that's a happy end in my books

Anyways watch swan lake. It good.

[luuuna-rambles]

I posted 712 times in 2022

That's 334 more posts than 2021!

597 posts created (84%)

115 posts reblogged (16%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@your-resident-fangirl

@luuuna-rambles

@a-dotrivenitupontop

@defectivegembrain

@aces-and-anime

I tagged 652 of my posts in 2022

Only 8% of my posts had no tags

#nbc community - 284 posts

#community nbc - 273 posts

#communitygifs - 208 posts

#communityedit - 202 posts

#abed nadir - 193 posts

#danny pudi - 188 posts

#troy barnes - 142 posts

#donald glover - 140 posts

#the six idiots - 127 posts

#six idiots gifs - 118 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#also he only specifies about three of the facts and two of them are the clive owen thing and 'i'm more into girls in pyjamas than in lingeri

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

514 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#4

See the full post

517 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#3

See the full post

656 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

#2

David and Taika arguing about shoes, an ongoing saga

813 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So you're telling me it's canon that Troy Barnes:

Thinks Abed is “pretty adorable”

Refers to Abed as his “other half”

Really likes butt stuff

Holds hands with Abed constantly, within the first few weeks of knowing him

Thinks the pride party held at Greendale is “pretty dope” (And is fucking grinning ear to ear as he says it I Iove this boy)

Literally cannot conceive of the idea of dating a woman, where polyamory with Abed isn’t involved (There’s someone out there for us)

Has a Tumblr blog dedicated to Clive Owen, the contents of which is at least somewhat embarressing

Is upset that he can't have Abed's babies

Moves in with Abed, despite earlier agreeing with him that best friends moving in together would be a bad idea

Doesn’t bat an eye at his girlfriend referring to Abed as “your boyfriend”

Refers to “telling the group about his dance lessons” as “coming out”

Lives in a two bedroom appartment, yet shares one room with Abed

Dresses up as Freddie Mercury, and immediately goes to Abed to ask if he thinks he’s hot

Literally says “I love you” to Abed

And my mum still thinks I’m reading too much into this???

1,183 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

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[milkshaketg]

skewbald belgian named Inksplash. palomino cream or smth.

Florence and Tuscany go the realm. feline hall. human was a bitch who “I turned out fine so they should, too.” maybe I make her too sick to be able to tell anything. black cat companion with purple eyes who can see your death.

someone who comes face to face with their killer who through time loop shenanagins it isn’t in the past it’s the current except they’re alive even though they did kill them and the killer is just like nonchalant or at least appears unbothered

like others are in a time loop and she comes back and is like what

another character just disappears and it isn’t mentioned at all until dead girl returns and is like where are they and everyone else is like who

maybe they come back somehow except not alive

au self inset w Joot in JoJo where I’m a lesbian and therefore an outcast and he and I find solidarity in that and whatnot. I yell at him for how he treats his mom.

Dollarpaw as in sand dollar

SSO Vid Ideas:

dive into SSOblr

Autumn “TroyTheBoy” after their fursona Troy

Featherbelle🥦

Nicodemus(Nico)

Griffin

Wolfgang

fear look in her eyes as the sword is about to come down on her, but is saved by someone else last minute. she doesn’t question it. she just runs. she has no idea what happened to that person.

Angela on a throne looking kinda shocked and surprised and anxious and Akuma is at her feet, all seductive n draped over her n shit and just staring at the viewer sure of herself. not smug, though. just confident.

pink haired self insert for FE3H to draw a Ashe, Catherine, fuckin uhh other pretty lady, maybe Sylvain? Felix? anyone tbh. Claude, too. ladies as well ofc.

-traumatized lady, cannot be on the battlefield or she shuts down. mayb a new crest, a special one. bc she’s special :>

-self regenerating from a big battle who lost everyone and everyone was starving then offered herself up to eat and they found out she couldn’t die by mutilation alone, eventually was captured and used as a human shield and then ofc this fucks her up real bad so they erase a ton of memories so now she’s just ditzy lady being studied except gently at the monastery. ig she can’t really work out bc regeneration.

Flayn x Dedue

someone with a pet named Cream Cheese

self insert where I’m broken and Dirk fixes me I’m a cyborg except he’s got complete control now and I become a husk just used by him to accomplish his misguided deeds. robot turns to flesh eventually even the tail n shit.

oh wait fuck he’s gay.

we don’t gotta fuck it can be platonic extremely fantastically toxic codependency

I am a pet.

this again, except I am a lesbian who forms an unhealthy codependent relationship with Sylvain. he’s chasing my friend who I have a massive crush on, so I approach him. he ofc thinks I’m going for him/his crest but is visibly taken aback when I admit I’m in love with my friend and I need him to back off. we chat a bit and become acquainted or whatevs. he does. then after the five years comes back and she’s dead, I’m heartbroken obviously. emphasis on bad disassociation too. and boom, codependence. then he’s basically backed into a corner and forced to marry so he chooses me bc he knows I’m not tryna use him for his crest. I’m literally 90% into girls thank u.

fire emblem + blorbos + desired self inserts

Canary method(if you’re gonna act like a clown I’m gonna treat you like one)

did I fuck up my circadian rhythm in middle school? because this is not a case of bad habits.

no food :(

issues at work bc girl I don’t have peripheral hearing. god I feel so fucking disabled.

Ottalie

Muse

Rush retains the same mass no matter her form, in addition to being albino.

(hey, are you alright?)(pans to me full strawberry outfit + strawberry makeup + accessories)(yeah, why?)

goth in beanie: are you okay?

strawberry: yeah, why?(HEAVY pink blush w white freckles + lashes and whatnot)(holding my stuffies)

goth in beanie: alright,,,

caption: inside you there are two wolves

me, blank expression: listening to a cat get graphically and brutally murdered and remembering how violent my favorite books as a kid were

Skyclan’s Destiny or whatever is literally just skyclan getting slowly slaughtered one by one

dark eyes of ebon

Rose looked up at Silva. She honestly looked kind of pathetic, one of her lashes hanging haphazardly and her lipstick was smudged. She had seen better days, certainly.

She looked from Silva’s hand, to her face, then back to her hand, not even seeming to register her face wasn’t all that visible. Without much hesitation she took her hand. She had no reason to even consider refusing the help. This was a safe town, no one knew who or where she was so no one would be coming for her. If she had articulated these thoughts they would have sent a pang of pain through her, but as luck would have it her brain stayed full of fluff for now.

“Thank you, appreciate it.” She allowed herself to be pulled to her feet, flashing a smile at the girl. “Now… do you happen to know where we are? Of course you do, you must if you’re out here. Could you show me to” she looked down at her unsightly appearance. She didn’t even want to know what her face looked like. “I guess going out isn’t an option, now is it? You know the direction to Fen’s stable? If you could be a gem and take me there.”

Mon: 10-3

Tue: off

Wed: 10-2

Thurs: 5-9

Fri: off

Sat: 3-7

Sun: 10-3

SpectrumSetup-B8

stealthnest127

[johnmulaneys]

ok. rebelde 2022 thoughts from someone who has been a rebelde 2004 fan since it originally aired 

let’s start with: i don’t like the netflix 8-episode seasons, they don’t give me enough time to actually know everything i need to know about these characters and get attached to them (it’s the same issue i had with young royals tbh). rebelde 2004 was a telenovela that aired almost daily for basically 2 years. they could spend 5-6 chapters with some b-plot storyline going on and still have us hooked with other storylines and all that, and then move on to a completely different storyline the next week, you know?

so having jana be like “i thought what we had was real” to esteban after (what it feels like) only knowing him for 3 days? blargh. also having them as the main couple was just... a terrible idea. they’re boring, very troy and gabriella which is nothing like the rebelde couples we love. mia and miguel? diego and roberta? the blueprints of enemies to lovers. maybe the 2022 romantic dynamic that hit the closest to a rebelde dynamic was dixon x mj, with dixon being the more wildcard, rebellious one and mj being more sweet and innocent (a similar dynamic to lupita and santos) and even that still felt a little rushed (again 8 episodes... not enough); i also really liked andi x emilia but thats because rebelde 2004 didn’t have gay people so 2022 wins there.

also that jana x esteban break-up at the end felt so out of the blue. it lacks drama, it lacks silliness, it lacks everything that made the og rebelde so good.

another thing: the personalities for these characters felt really flat. out of the main 6, luka was the one with the most distinguished traits, i feel like he was the one that was the closest to having a whole “hero’s journey” going for him (obviously he’s my favorite). the thing about rebelde 2004 that really worked was that the main 6 characters were very flawed, completely different from one another and very cartoonishingly so. 

mia was an extremely girly-girl-spoiled-bratty-most-popular-daddy’s girl ever, roberta was the most rebellious-rock-n-roll-post-feminism-punk girl, lupita was the peak angelic-church-going-innocent-eternally-virginal type, etc. all these characters were very distinctively different from one another to the point where watching them learn how to get along felt much more interesting and rewarding. and even the supporting characters, the teachers, the parents, etc., all of them felt very unique. meanwhile in 2022 these traits that are supposed to tell them apart are kind of... flat. i can kinda compare them to the og 6 but i cannot right away categorize jana or esteban in any kind of archetype, all these 2022 characters feel like a bella swan-ification of the og main 6 and it’s boring tbh

don’t get me started with la logia... 2004 la logia were truly terrifying. they’d specifically target scholarship students, it was some sort of neonazi allegory, using anonymous threats and real violence and it was genuinely scary whenever they were around. like you’d be fearing for these characters’ lives when they were caught by la logia, people would end up in the hospital fighting for their lives fr!!!!!!! and now... la logia catches the newbies (regardless of status) and makes them... sing? laughable

and “you can’t compare the two” won’t fly here. it’s a direct continuation of an iconic piece of entertainment, and i am a fan of the source material, i am exclusively watching it to make comparisons. not to mention, the characters themselves made direct comparisons - which actually make me dislike them a little more (jana cohen you will never be mia colucci)

and a few lore issues:

so pilar and tomás just... broke up? i guess it happens, of course not all of the couples that ended up together in the 2004 version would be together forever but when you’re making something for people who watched the material source... maybe a little explanation wouldn’t hurt? i wasn’t even that invested in pilar and tomás (i’m more of a lesbian pilar truther tbh)

celina was pregnant when the og rebelde ended. where is the child? that child would be 15-16 in 2022 which is the perfect age for them to be in elite way school... being a character... causing trouble...

speaking of elite way school: this new version is so fucking ugly. the og ews was this DREAM school we all ENVIED and the students would use their laptops in class (i remember being so jealous because laptops were still like. A Big Deal) but this new one is like: concrete. here’s all these students with this wannabe 2000s aesthetics, but this school will be just boring concrete. ugly as fuck and looks tiny

why were there no celina and pilar scenes? they’re literally the two characters that connected us to the original story and they’ve known each other for a long time. celina now has pilar’s dad’s job! and i would’ve felt it in my heart if, in that final scene of the nonames (i refuse to call them rebelde) singing that iconic song, celina and pilar had just fondly smiled at each other because of the good ol’days..... but then didn’t do it! ugh

but let’s go to what i liked:

luka. i’d be biased anyway because he’s a colucci but as i mentioned before he felt like the most distinctive character out of the main 6 and his journey felt the most rewarding to follow.

the anita twist: was genuinely surprised by that. maybe i wasn’t that interested in the logia storyline since it felt so silly compared to the og but seeing her in that revelation scene was quite surprising

diversity: something rebelde 2004 really lacked and the 2022 version managed to do better (we can always keep improving though).

andi x emilia: although it still felt rushed (fucking 8 episode season), it was very refreshing to see a queer storyline in the rebelde universe

lourdes: she was very likeable (even though she purposefully tries not to be), loved her attitude with the students and i wish we had seen even more of her

the covers: i actually enjoyed the covers (although i thought the salvame mv was very corny but not in a camp way like the 2004 one, you know?), listening to songs i’ve loved for more than half of my life in new versions was fun and i’m always up bop to tras de mi .

these are my first thoughts tho. if i think of anything else i’ll keep talking about it i guess lmao

[discotechque]

till my hand shook with the way I fear

pairing: abed nadir/nby! reader word count: 1.6k rating: T

me and abed have neurodivergent solidarity and for that, we would be besties. also the mc in this is specifically non-binary so whatever.

There's clear haze that settles over the bar, that's the first thing Abed realizes once he settles into the space. It's dim, like most bars are and he assumes that's the charm of places like these. Jeff and Britta are adults ( he is too but he's overlooked and therefore his opinion is mute ) so he follows their guidance. Watching from afar, observing their inebriated choices while downing another shot.

He doesn’t get the point of alcohol, much less bars, and it seems the whole point is to get pleasure after an initial sting. A sharp weight that lays in the back of one's throat before elation rips through you. Bourbon burns through him with too much consequence, gin coats his mouth with a bitter tang, and wine falls flat on his tongue.

Maybe it's his upbringing, he's never witnessed his father take a sip to this day, or the pressure that rushes to his frame when he's offered a drink. Abed understands the appeal of bars, it does not mean he shares the same sentiments to them. They're noisy little backend places where melancholic characters come to waste away their sorrows, typically finding pathetic people who drool over glass rims.

However, he is not pathetic ( even if his oldest friend is rounding his seventies and community college all seemed like a folly ) and he had never been overtly dripping with melancholy. So he stood by the small arcade game in the corner, unbothered and safe, until someone offered kindness.

And he takes miles of that even if all they've given was an inch because even if he isn't pathetic or melancholic, he is greedy. He likes eyes being on him because he has so many thought he wants to share with one mouth that can only do so much. Abed is not dumb, he knows what the man wants and how his friendly touches are slowly rising above his knee.

He knows what the man wants and isn't surprise at his outburst once learning that the feelings isn't reciprocated. There's streams of Mint Julep dripping from his jaw and lashes, softly mumbling about his love for Farscape before having it degraded. Abed knows he deserves it and was warned by Annie that people are sensitive ( but he is not held by the bounds of common decency or empathy no matter how hard he tries to keep his mouth shut. )

Then, he remembers the man's proposition ( the only reason someone would be interested in him ). He isn't familiar with being viewed as a sexual object and men weren't unwelcome in his eyes. Gay? Is he gay? Maybe something that exists within the unorthodox box that is sexual realization? The questions sound so foreign even within the echo chamber of his mind.

He's in a dingy bar celebrating his best friend's birthday, this is not a time for the sexual exploration of his subconscious ( although he saves the thought because he considers if not now then when ). The drink is seeping within his clothes, it's going to stick if he doesn't move. He needs to fucking move.

And he does, swiftly pulling himself away from the chair and heading towards the bathroom. Wherever that is, Shirley said it was in the far back and Annie said fair left. Yet, she meticulous as ever so what if she always assume her left is everyone's true left and Shirley is vague with her directions but it doesn't even seem to be enjoying her time here at all.

He's not enjoying it either if he's honest. His loose shit now sticks to his chest and he knows it would make sopping sounds if the man's glass was any larger. Jeff brought them here to celebrate because they're all adults and Troy deserves to have a birthday party in style but if all Jeff and Britta do it bicker, doesn't that make them children themselves? And if he shares his companionship with them, does that make him and all the others children by association?

He's going nowhere with this train of though, this he knows but it can't ever seem to stop. His brain becomes a leaky faucet that can never be screwed back just right so it drips and drips just like the alcohol does along his jaw and lashes. Abed wants to go home but he's with his friends and it's his best friend's party and it'd be so rude of him to leave so soon. At least, that's what Annie tells him.

( Parties were far and few between when he was younger and even then, he cannot replace family functions for beings that truly care for him. )

But then he remembers you, nursing an iced tea in the corner because you are not interested in bestowing wisdom onto Troy that you do not have or participating in anybody's shenanigans. Bars are where people come to hook up or fuck up, you proclaimed on the car ride here, there's no in between.

Then he hears it, bursting against his ears as a smile splits across your face, a discotheque pop song that might be pleasant if it wasn't so overwhelming. His hand involuntarily taps against his thigh in tune with the rhythm. It helps sort out the sensations, the noise is different than the bland flavoring of water, and he knows what's what but it all feels the same in his mind.

Abed's eyelids shut, another involuntary tick he can never seem to shake, and his hand has created it's own beat. Rapid and rushed with no real rhyme or reason except for the fact that it's something that will tug his mind away from everything. ( It's the same thing he does when he's at the edge of a rollercoaster, it makes him safe. ) If everyone else can sway to a rhythm, why can't he?

"Hey," an unexpected voice softly call out to him ( tenderness within this group almost borders on unnatural ). Abed slowly opens his eyes to see you, you call out to him. He feels his hands move away from his pants, tangled within your fingers instead as you gaze at him with earnest. "five things you can see?"

Your hands feel polished, no—plush. He's afraid that if his thumbs press too hard, he'll begin to meld into your being. That's a great idea for a movie, he thinks and he knows you've been his muse from time to time. Maybe it means something, he's not willing to deep any deeper.

His eyes scan the room for a brief second before he rattles off, "The wooden floors, the bartender, the door, the chair behind you, and Annie still trying to be a Texan."

Her accent still lingers within her mind, poor acting for someone so involved a role they've assigned for themselves. The though nearly amuses him but he's getting off track, he needs to focus on you. On the way your hands gently rub over his knuckles and needs to ignore this growing pit within his stomach on whatever that insinuates.

"Four things you can feel?"

"My feet against my shoes, my jeans against my legs, how hot my ears are, your hands."

You don't let go even after he's mentioned it, instead he receives a squeeze that sounds throughout his body. A continuous cycle the runs on until you ask him for something he can taste, he doesn't know what lingers within the crevices of his mouth. ( He'd want it to be you and licks his lips without a second thought. ) Yet, settles on the answer Mint Julep.

Something about thinking this way must be wrong, he shouldn't want to keep holding your fingers or gaze into your fervent irises. He shouldn't be attracted to someone like you and shouldn't be searching for so many reason on why he has to tear himself away from your presence. Still, shouldn't doesn't stop him from doing so.

Maybe his hands have melted into yours, it'd be a good excuse on why he can't bring himself to let go. The song changes again, how long has he been in this small little world with you?

"Hey, it's Mazzy Star, this fucks so hard." he's heard of this before, maybe you've shared it with him. It's less grating on his ears, smooth melodies being shifted on strings, and he watches you sway from the corner of his eye.

( He likes to be watched but something about you commands all his attention. )

Still shifting from foot to foot, you turn to him with a far more lax expression. Both shifting into familiarity as you ask, "You wanna sit down?"

"Not really," he shoots back suddenly but you're not perturbed at his fast response reflex. However, his heart sinks as the next words tumble from his lips. "but we can stand here and sway?"

You don't pull your hand away from his, instead, pressing into his fingers as you ponder a reply. Perhaps you think this isn't real as much as he presumes you'll humiliate him for even asking. But you don't and another smile splits down your features, large than the last one he saw from across the room.

"Of course, Abed Nadir has a genius idea. Let's do it."

You don't move him from this space you've cultivated with him. Instead, wrapping arms around his neck as he places them on your waist ( he never went to prom but this is better than any teenage fantasy ). Moving side to side, never shifting around in a circle but rather awkwardly figuring out a steady pace while his stares becoming fonder while the night grows.

Abed still doesn't get the point of bars but he can figure it out the next time he's here with you.

[blake-belladonna-defence-force]

Finally finished Kipo and the age of wonderbeasts. It was honestly a really fun show and I cannot tell you how thrilled I was to hear a character verbally say the words “I’m gay”. Especially in a dreamworks series! Like damn, that’s big, y’all. And there was no drama about it, either, which is always nice to see. Yes, that whole scenario with Kipo was a little awkward but they were quick to move on from it and developed a beautiful friendship. Plus... they’re kids. Kids are awkward. I was an awkward kid. I still am incredibly awkward. Oh! And Benson’s crush on Troy was so sweet and wholesome, as was their relationship!

I loved seeing Wolf and Kipo’s friendship develop. I can absolutely understand Wolf’s struggle, though. When you’ve been alone for so long... it can be really hard to let go of your hurt and accept friendship and love like that. Wolf’s growth and healing was incredible to see.

I loved how we got quite a few redemption stories with Hugo and Jamack, as well as some other humans and mutes, while still seeing the acknowledgment that some people... just don’t want to change for the better. Sometimes... people just can’t be redeemed and that’s just something we need to understand and move on. It was also nice to see that Kipo didn’t have to sacrifice her genuine desire to be good and kind to people.

And can we talk about how often characters cry, especially the male characters, and it’s never viewed as a bad thing? Crying is normal! Crying is good and natural and it’s so okay to do!

And of course... I can’t forget Kipo’s relationship with her parents. I adored seeing them reunited and seeing them reconcile with Hugo.

This was a very hopeful show and honestly? I think we need more stubbornly optimistic shows like this. Punk-hope is probably one of my favourite genres so this was an enjoyable series for me.