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gaybananabread · 29 days

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♪*✧⁠Ramshackle Day Off✧⁠*♪

~It’s official: I’ve gained yet another hyperfixation. I absolutely LOVED the pilot for Ramshackle; the trash goblins grabbed my focus. So, as with all my faves, they’re getting the special treatment. If this is your flavor of interest, I hope you Enjoy!~

Lee: Stone

Lers: Skipp, Vinnie

Summary: Stone’s having one of his emo moments, feeling down and not even cracking his usual half-smile. Skipp and Vinnie decide to help, using the one method they know will always cheer up their grungy friend.

Warnings: alcohol/cigarettes mentioned! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

In their slum alley, the three lovable scraps lounged about, enjoying one of the very few days where they didn't have to fight to survive.

Vinnie had hit the motherload that morning in a dumpster: an entire case of Hickory Smoked Beans, just past their expiration date. It was a Ramshackle miracle.

Since they didn't have to forage for money or food, the trio could take a sort of off-day. While Vinnie and Skipp were lounging and making the most of it, Stone couldn't help but feel morose.

Sure, they had enough food for a few days. But what happens after that? What would they do when they ran out and had to go back to their normal pattern? What if they couldn't get enough, and not even shoes could sustain them?

He'd usually just chug a bit of liquor to calm those thoughts, but it didn't seem to be doing much. Life felt…impossibly meaningless. Like no matter how hard they tried, the universe would continue to put them in their place at the very bottom.

Stone had a particular look when he got into those moods. His eyes seemed distant, he sighed more, and a bottle of some cheap, scavenged liquor was always nearby.

While looking for some fabric to patch his newest jacket hole, Skipp noticed his friend's sullen attitude. It wasn't a rare sight, by any means, but it still worried him to see Stone so upset.

“Hey…you alright, Stone? You seem kinda out of it.” Skipp kept a respectful distance, not knowing if his friend was in a touch-positive mood or not. He extended a hand to silently ask if touch was okay. Stone shrugged, taking a swig from his mystery bottle.

“Aren’t we all? ‘re we ever really in it, or are we jus’ waitin’ for death to find us and put us in our final place?”

“Uh…okay?” Skipp patted the emotional man’s head before scooting away, going to find Vinnie. She would know what to do…probably.

Vinnie was lounging on one of their make-shift nests when Skipp found her. She groaned, stretching as she sat up from the pile of ratty blankets and coats.

“What is it now? Today’s supposed to be relaxing,” she whined, running a hand through her unruly hair. Skipp pointed to their drunken, miserable-looking friend. “Stone’s in a sad mood again.”

“Fuckin’...course he is. The one damn day we get off…” Vinnie grumbled, dramatically hauling herself completely out of her semi-comfortable nest. “He okay with touch?”

After the blonde nodded, she marched over to Stone, waving for him to do the same. Instead of greeting him, she straddled the dejected man, squeezing his hips.

“GRK- Vihihinnie! W-whahat the hehell?!” Stone dropped his bottle, hands flying to grab Vinnie’s wrists. He was drunk, though, so his fight wasn’t a very effective one.

Skipp blushed, his eyes widening. Vinnie’s fix was…tickling him? The optimistic guy never could handle watching tickle fights without getting flustered, but now…

It looked fun from both perspectives, and Stone was quite upset. He was pretty sure his mind would behave and let him wreck his friend for one.

“Isn’t it obvious? We’re cheering you up!” Even though his cheeks were still rosy, Skipp joined in, spidering his short nails on Stone’s kneecaps. It would almost certainly come back to haunt him later, but he didn’t really mind; that was a sort of bonus.

“Yep. It’s too good of a day for that depressing bullshit. You need to learn how to smile, ya mopey shit.” Vinnie was a bit less sweet, but there was a kindness in her salty words. She really cared for Stone, even if he was a depressing asshole sometimes.

“Guhuhuys! Fuhuck ohohohoff!” Stone squirmed and twisted under Vinnie, feeling the four evil hands on him. He squeezed Vinnie’s wrists, though he wasn’t exactly trying to shove her off. This wasn't lost on his friends.

“Aww, you like this, don’t you?” Surprisingly, Skipp was the one to tease him. It wasn’t exactly meant to be one, but that’s what it felt like to the giggling man. He groaned through the happy sound, covering his face with one hand.

“Holy shit, Skipp. I think you’re right!” Vinnie chuckled, though she already knew that was the case. It was hardly the first time she’d used the method to get Stone to quit moping, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last. He needed to smile more.

“Wonder what happens if I go here…” Vinnie clawed at the back of Stone’s ribs, making him snort and start cackling. It was his worst spot, and she knew it. “Oh. That. How cute!”

Was that a bit mean? Maybe, yeah, but Stone seemed like he was writing gothic poetry that morning. The shithead needed to laugh that Ramshackle sadness off.

“’M NOHOHOT CUHUTE!” Stone was practically losing it at that point. Skipp had decided to move to the undersides of his knees. That combined with the backs of his ribs was almost more than he could handle. Almost.

“VIHIHINNY! GEHE’ OHOHOHOFF’A THEHEHERE!” Stone writhed, arching his back to try and avoid her fingers. He kicked his legs, but that was pretty much useless when she was on his thighs. Skipp had free reign of his lower body, and Vinnie was practically unstoppable up top.

“But I like it here! You look like Maggot with all that squirming, dude.” She mentioned their angelic friend, trying to get him blushing more. His cheeks were pink, but Vinnie wanted more. She knew how red he could get.

“Oh yeah, he does!” Out of Stone’s view, Skipp giggled, making Stone groan. That little ball of sunshine just had to comment on everything, didn’t he? Stone cared for him, of course; he just wanted to lovingly strangle him sometimes.

“You know what eats maggots, Stone?” He flipped the blonde off, but Skipp didn’t mind. The next few seconds would make up for that. “Jumping spiders!”

Skipp clawed his hands, switching spots every few seconds to spider each area on his legs. It was kinda dumb, but scientifically accurate. That, and it tickled like crazy.

“SKIHIHIHPP! IHIHI- PFFAHAHAHA!” All protests died, swallowed up in loud, throaty cackles. His nerves were practically on fire, his thoughts drowned out by his own laughter. It was finally too much.

“EHEHENOHOUGH!” Stone yelled through his mirth, patting Vinnie’s shoulder. She immediately pulled away, Skipp following suit. Vinnie climbed off, giving him a second.

Stone immediately curled in on himself, turning into a giggly pill bug as he recovered. “F-fuhuhuck youhu guhuhuhuys…”

Vinnie chuckled, used to his profanities. She knows they usually mean he had fun, but was still a bit salty. Skipp, however, was concerned they’d crossed a line. “Stone? Did we go too far?”

The man huffed, swallowing another bout of giggles. His composure was mostly back, the thin line of his lips showing a ghost of a smile. “Nah, yohou’re fine. Youhu suck, thohough.”

Rolling her eyes, Vinnie nudged the giggly man’s shoulder. “Ah, whatever. You were being a downer, and you know it.”

Stone lovingly flipped her off and grumbled something under his breath. Skipp pulled both of them into a hug, and for once, Stone didn’t pull away. He’d never admit it, but the embrace felt nice at that moment.

“C’mon, guys. Let’s enjoy our day off!” Skipp’s attitude remained bright as ever. Stone opened his mouth to argue, but huffed and shook his head.

“Fine. I’m taking Vinnie’s nest.” Stone sauntered over to the pile of cloth, smirking at Vinnie’s near-instant outrage.

“Hey! Get your own rags, Nevermore!” The two started playfully wrestling, fighting over the nest Skipp knew they’d end up sharing. He leaned against the wall of the slum alley, watching his friends and taking in the happiness they both now felt.

Yep. Perfect Ramshackle day off.

#ramshackle tickle #lee!stone #ler!skipp #ler!vinnie #ticklish!stone #sfw tickling community #tickle #tickle fic #ramshackle #sfw tickles

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pathetic-sapphic · 9 months

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Can I request meeting Viktor for the first time? What he'd think and how he might act, and how a friendship then blossoms which leads to romance. The reader being fem and a bit shy at first but bold once you know them

I love your work! Xx

Friends to Lovers with Viktor

Viktor doesn't usually pay much attention to the people that Jayce brings over to the lab. He tends to ignore them and focus on his work, he wanted to do the same when Jayce brought you over but Jayce was insistent on introducing the two of you. According to him, you two ''would get along really well'' because ''you have similar brilliant minds and a kind heart''. Viktor was suspicious of this but you seem genuinely eager to meet him and interested in his work, albeit you were a bit shy which he honestly found quite endearing.

Since then, you have become a constant presence in their lab, mostly spending time with Viktor by talking to him about his work and helping him take care of himself. Viktor was quite taken aback by the kindness and gentleness that you showed him, always worrying about his well-being and bringing him little snacks and drinks. Even if he tried not to pay attention to you and focus on his current project, you always stayed by his side, patiently observing and letting him do his thing. It was the first time in his life that Viktor learned how to enjoy silence with another person.

Jayce was the first of the three of you who noticed the feelings blossoming between you and Viktor. He was ecstatic when he realized and thought that you would make a lovely couple. However, both of you were quite shy and believed that the other person's feelings weren't mutual. So, Jayce formed a plan; he needed to get the two of you out of the lab, alone, and he knew just the way to do it.

He decided to invite you both out for a cozy drink at a bookshop café nearby. He told you that he just wanted to hang out with you both and you happily agreed. Viktor was a tougher nut to crack, always pouring over his work and being holed up in the lab. Jayce managed to convince him by telling Viktor he found some books which could contain some helpful information but there were so many that he couldn't go over them alone. Reluctantly, Viktor agreed to meet up with him, oblivious to Jayce's great master plan.

Of course, when only you and Viktor showed up at the café, it didn't take long for the two of you to realize that Jayce was behind all this. Figuring you might as well take advantage of finally being alone with one another, you and Viktor quickly slipped into a pleasant and riveting conversation.

Viktor could not remember for the life of him when was the last time he had so much fun, seeing you become comfortable at his side and laughing as you re-tell the story of that time you pranked Jayce, Viktor found himself completely whipped by your presence. Figuring it's now or never, he gently placed his hand atop of yours and admitted, ''Darling, I know the true reason behind Jayce's absence today. The truth is I have admired you and been in love with you for a while now, and I suppose that this was his way of giving me a chance to fess up. Now, I understand if you don't feel the same, it will not change our friendship. But if, by any chance, the feeling is mutual then I'd like to take you out on a proper date this Friday, without the scheming of some third-party Councilor? What do you say, my dear?''

Oh, seeing your blushing cheeks as you stuttered out a confession of your own had Viktor's heart doing flips. You were just so darling and sweet, he was so lucky that you felt the same. The rest of your date was spent planning the next one. You agreed to visit a nearby aquarium followed by a relaxing walk in the park.

Time flows by quick when you're in such lovely company and before you knew it, Viktor was accompanying you home. He walked you all the way to your door and just when he was about to bid you a good night, you gathered up all the courage you had and planted a shy kiss on his cheek. Viktor, in return, gently lifted your hand and pecked it. You swore you could feel the redness of his cheeks against your fingers. With flaming faces, you wished each other farewell and went your separate ways.

Let's just say you both owe a favor to Jayce, you'll figure out how to make it up to him during your next date. Until then, you were both going to be quite busy, you with figuring out what to wear and Viktor with figuring out what flowers he should get for you.

#arcane #arcane headcanons #arcane x reader #requests are open #arcane viktor #viktor x reader #arcane viktor x reader #viktor x female reader #viktor x you #viktor league of legends #arcane viktor x you #arcane viktor fluff

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daisychainsandbowties · 1 year

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thoughts on autistic beatrice

i got a couple asks about this, so here we go.

speaking. despite her talent for linguistics, and her fascination with language, Beatrice does sometimes have periods where she is non-verbal. alternates with days where she needs to talk a lot. Lilith usually gets subjected to her talkativeness on these occasions - or rather, she subjects herself to it, willingly. knows how to respond and manage and help when things are a lot. she is quite content to sit and listen and poke fun while Beatrice lets all of the thoughts out of her head.

Bea has areas of specific focus, and likes to tell convoluted stories to reach her point bc it’s how her brain likes to do things, and Lilith is one of the rare people who will simply listen, who is not impatient. Bea has been trained to think in straight lines, but there is a natural obliqueness to her thought processes. & especially when she is tired and/or hurt it unravels out of her.

it takes a long time for her to trust anyone enough to actually relax and do that kind of stimming, but once things are easier it’s at least once a week, and Lilith pretty much drops everything to go sit with her in the library or down by the cliff or in the sun by one of the outer walls. this is astonishing to Bea, because nobody in her life has been willing to listen to her talk before, for hours.

for Lilith it’s like watching the sun rise, & Bea transforms when she’s able to let all of the many myriad & often beautiful thoughts she has find their way out. to have them held and appreciated.

special interests. i think for sure Bea is really interested in math & physics & linguistics & probably a bit of architecture (my girl knew how to convert dirra to feet = math nerd AND architecture nerd, for sure).

re: physics - Bea is just really interested in the mechanics of the universe, & it’s kind of an adjacent interest when you throw knives, because there is math involved & a bit of physics knowledge, especially for her throws which are from unpredictable distances (usually knife-throwing is done at standard distances with more or less consistent trajectories. whereas Bea throws in consistently unpredictable circumstances, often at moving targets).

she likes spiders and pretty much all fields of biology - anatomy, entomology, biophysics (she was a bit obsessed with gravitational tropism & how they grew plants in space), biochem, physiology of all kinds. definitely used to do architectural sketches for fun. knows all about how buildings have been constructed over the centuries. likes spiders because misunderstood, solitary, & just rlly rlly interesting as creatures. linguistics for obvious reasons. aka ‘if i learn ten languages i will be able to talk to people’ = cue not knowing what to say to people in ten languages. i’m gonna say she likes prime numbers. the mystery of them, the way they are so strange and self-contained.

routine! Bea is big into routine. it helps her to deal with the parts of her life that will always be chaotic - OCS activities are pretty much chaotic by default, because possession and demons don’t keep people-hours.

she NEEDS to go running every day & Lilith is usually the only one who can keep pace with her, so they get up in the predawn dark most mornings and run until the sun rises. they don’t talk while they run, but they have a sort of silent conversation going on. gentle competition and mutual egging-on. performing stupid little parkour tricks where no one can see them. once or twice they go down by the beach and end up trying to toss each other into the ocean.

when they get back Beatrice has muesli (she always has muesli, when she can) & she has this specific blue bowl and this specific spoon. everyone knows not to touch it (and Lilith knows too but still does dickhead things like hide it, but she gives it back almost immediately. just likes to see Bea’s face scrunch up like an emoji. she calls it ‘your haughty little stare’.

Lilith peels an orange while Beatrice makes up her breakfast (picking the banana chips out. ‘why don’t you just get the brand without banana chips.’ ‘you wouldn’t understand.’) Lilith scatters orange peel everywhere on purpose and Beatrice goes around after sweeping them into her palm, which makes her hands smell like citrus (and, incidentally, exactly like Lilith’s, all day long).

time-blindness/interoception. Beatrice loses time. has a habit of going into a trance or just hyper-focussing on things. in those instances Mary or Lilith or Cam will find her just Staring and they always go to fetch Shannon, because she has a knack; she’s a gentle stirring presence, and she goes and puts her palms on Bea’s face and gets her eyes to focus on her. narrows the world down to simple touch. leads with a couple of innocent questions about math or sometimes jellyfish, or any of the topics Bea likes.

this is what she needs. Mary is the steady voice that pulls everyone together in a fight, but Shannon has the measure of Beatrice. she knows to ask questions, to lure her out of her stupor with positive things. gentle, stirring. usually there’s nothing bad about losing the time, except that she can end up with throbbing headaches from dehydration.

but it’s time her brain needs, to be away from other people, because Beatrice has observed and catalogued and she is pretty good at the social side of things. yet it is exhausting. & sometimes she needs a hour or two to just exist in her own orbit.

eye-contact. when she’s comfy she tends to stray away from eye-contact, just because other body language is better and not so overwhelming as eyes, but martial arts taught her how important the eyes are for betraying intent, so she looks. but if she trust ppl there’s less eye contact. what there is, then, means more.

she and Lilith are almost entirely absent of eye-contact when alone with each other. they are parallel play pros, and they save eye-contact for fighting, though Lilith is extraordinarily good at NOT giving away anything with her eyes. she can be beating the crap out of two people at once and look like she’s grocery shopping, but when she’s in the swing of things there’s often a manic glee to her eyes. & Bea likes that because it’s uncomplicated and wild and honest. but yeah, Mary occasionally goes to Shannon - ‘hey, do you think Beatrice would know the answer if i asked her what colour Lilith’s eyes are?’

speaking (contd.) Bea does have a tendency to forget about inflection in speech. has a monotone a lot of the time, which other people mistake for condescension. she can be very persuasive, but when she’s comfortable her voice keeps this unerringly constant pitch.

doesn’t tend to have the wild wavers you expect when ppl are with their friends; actually gets flatter & more even the more enthused she is. so she’ll be telling Lilith about how spiders can walk upside down on glass & the pitch, if you measured it, would be a straight line, but this speaks to Lilith’s brain too, because it isn’t jumping on distinctions in sound & getting anxious over it.

if you pay attention to the rest of Bea’s body language it’s easy to see how excited she is, but that doesn’t manifest in her voice so much. oh she can emote vocally with the best of them (cut to the museum heist scene where Vincent kidnaps Ava) but calm relaxed Bea is going to be rocking that monotone.

food. for the first while in cat’s cradle Beatrice has trouble with mealtimes. it was never her forte - always the first down to breakfast in boarding school, so eventually the ppl setting up just left a bowl out for her & the tureen of muesli, and a milk bottle still slick with dew from sitting on the stoop with all the others.

it’s the social aspect, mostly, and the change of routine, that get to her. plus Beatrice just isn’t motivated by food at all - for her it’s like, due to interoception, and some sensory preferences, though Bea’s a good soldier and can just ignore texture and taste if she has to.

she doesn’t like the tables in the vaulted hall or the weird dim lighting, and all the other nuns talking in hushed voices so they become this susurration of sound. so she just skips lunch, or dinner.

Lilith insists that she could care less, & she only tells Mary because otherwise she’ll get a lecture about responsibility and the new recruits, and also Bea is the best fighter besides her, and she doesn’t want to win just because the little twit forgets to eat.

initially Mary just insists that Bea goes to meals with her. that doesn’t really help too much; Bea goes where she’s told, but yk you can lead a horse to water, can’t make them drink.

one day Mary goes and sits down next to Bea while she’s reading one day out in the courtyard, & hands her a cup of pudding from a bunch of surplus (and almost expired) MREs that the OCS bulk-bought ages ago. & Bea, skeptical but obedient, open it up & tries it & Mary, privately, thinks it’s chalky and overly sweet, but Bea adores it. she reads the nutritional info and is weirdly psyched by how ‘full of food groups’ it is. (Mary shrugs, but Lilith gets it; she also grew up craving salt and protein and portions larger than a palm).

Mary bulk buys even more of them, & soon the Trio™ start carrying them around. Shannon has a bunch in her backpack, and Mary keeps them in the glove box of the van. Lilith sometimes just has one in the pocket of her hoodie, so that when it’s a Hard Day they can all reliably take Bea out into the sun with a bit of breeze coming up over the cliffside, & pass her a horrible calorie-dense protein pudding monstrosity.

it works, though. once Bea has Lilith to cling to she doesn’t mind going to the official means, & also Mother Superion takes her in her office & tells her she can go to the kitchen or eat in MS’s office if she’s not feeling it any evening. it works, and Beatrice manages to win against Lilith two out of five times in training, and she looks better and more than she has in her whole life, because the ppl around her FINALLY care about what she needs.

touch. Bea actually really likes it. flinches, at first, when Mary throws an arm around her, or when Shannon goes to her after a hard fight and presses their foreheads together, and leaves her sooty thumb-prints on Bea’s cheeks from holding her face.

Lilith is another touch-starved bitch so they are like two polarised magnets initially, but after a while it changes. Beatrice falling asleep against Lilith in the back of the OCS fan. Bea having a panic attack and Mary climbing clear over the handbrake from the front seat (shotgun) to go and hold her very tightly, and rock her, and just say meaningless nice things.

Lilith like a deer in the headlights watching it, but eventually letting Beatrice braid her hair when her hands won’t stop shaking from the adrenaline. at once point they are hiding from possessed ppl & Lilith wraps her whole body around Bea, pressing them together into the shadows, and Beatrice is just… stunned by the closeness of it all. the lemon and sweat smell of Lilith (Bea starts stealing her shampoo after that).

eventually she knows how to seek touch, how to ask for it & Bea and Lilith become kind of ridiculous about it (just watch the infirmary scene). they sit propping each other up, side-by-side or back-to-back. Bea with her legs flung over Lilith’s lap, reading out of a book in the library. in church playing ‘one-two-three-four, i declare a thumb war’ while Mary loses her shit in the row behind them.

Beatrice likes braiding hair, and when she’s upset she just clings to ppl (Lilith starts calling her barnacle and also limpet) but both of them need that from each other, & most of the other sisters are just not Bea’s people; she has her three people (four, almost, when Cam arrives).

with Mary it’s a lot of rough shoving and headlocks and kicking each other’s calves and ‘hey, think fast!’ followed by Mary chucking something at Bea.

with Shannon it’s the face-touching, and her arms folding Bea into a hug to end all hugs. & obviously with Ava we have Beatrice the little spoon, & her quiet amazement at how much Ava likes touching her arms or pecking her on the cheek - i don’t think she was raised to believe that people might long to touch her, and where Lilith hid her longing pretty deftly, Ava is much more open about it; it’s part of what shocks her when Ava hugs her very suddenly that first time in Cat’s Cradle after the wall incident - not the touch, but the recognition of Ava’s hunger for it. i think it occurred to Beatrice that maybe Ava could not even remember the last time someone hugged her like that. i think she understands& once they’re together it’s stupid how often they are in contact with each other, but it’s Bea’s love language, i think.

sensory issues. texture is obviously a thing for Beatrice. specifically with food, but also with clothes. you’ll see (in the show) that she tends to favour clothes that are loose around the arms (part of her reasoning being that it’s easier and better to fight in loose-fitting clothes) but yeah she’s not a fan of tight clothing. likes pressure on her own terms. she likes sweaters and tank tops, men’s-section t-shirts because the weird v-shape of women’s sleeves is foul and heinous. she does like to button shirts all the way up to the top because for unknown reasons it feels safe and precise.

sound is not too bad for Bea. she’s used to a lot of shouting in martial arts training (the use of a kiai in kendo is well-established & often super loud. she kind of likes that, shrieking at the top of her lungs with permission) and also gunshots with the OCS. none of it bothers her more than gunshots are just super unpleasant to hear for anyone.

she does enjoy asmr though. ocean sounds especially (thunder is bad unless there’s a really predictable interval between bouts of thunder) hates those deep-space ones because the bass makes her feel dizzy.

she just also really likes the sound of the people she loves talking. sometimes she can get Lilith to say more than four sentences together & it’s heaven. Ava obviously has her doe-eyed with her ability to talk about anything, to fill silences with good sound.

Bea HATES to be shouted at, berated etc. but mostly for trauma reasons, b/c of the whole endless night her parents yelled at her before they sent her away. this is part of the reason that silence makes her a bit uneasy, unless she knows what it means.

silence with Lilith has a few flavours; she has a happy silence, which is like a cat coming to sit in a room with you. she also has a broody silence, which Bea likes too, actually, because Lilith isn’t angry, she’s just filling the room with the noisiness of her thoughts. her angry silence makes Beatrice want to say around too, but only in the hope of mending things. Mary’s silences are usually good, or else they’re about Shannon. & Shannon has her gentle silences and her hidden silences. the fact is that silence for Bea is rarely actual silence, because she is too attentive to the meanings of silence.

she likes Ava’s version of silence, which is talking.

is also very very perceptive of sound - Lilith insists you can’t hear electricity OR spiders moving around, but Bea is adamant that you can, actually. she always knows when there’s a big house spider in her room bc they are NOT stealthy. it’s why she likes asmr - esp. in cat’s cradle - because it drowns out the small noises of the convent which don’t get tuned out by her brain.

light can be annoying for Bea. headcanon is that the museum heist sunglasses were not a brand new acquisition - Ava got them for Bea in Switzerland (‘you shouldn’t read in the sun if you’re gonna squint, bea’) because Beatrice got headaches from too much light, & they looked dorky so two birds with one stone. she does appreciate light, though, and loves sitting in the sun. anything that is not like England. she gets weird and sad when it rains too much. also HATES being rained on. fully sulks about it.

finally, stimming! i think when she’s upset Bea would, ideally, self-soothe by rocking. it’s why Mary does it, because Bea’s parents berated her for it so many times that her body freezes up at the thought.

she likes to braid hair, as i said. likes tapping things, fiddling with things in her hands - reason why she’s so ‘puts hands behind back’ ‘puts hands in pockets’ ‘makes hands hold each other so they can’t do their own thing’. but yeah, in Switzerland it happens a lot more. playing with pens, tapping thumb & forefinger, tapping surfaces (very lightly), AHEM skipping stones. just keeping those guys busy.

asmr is also stimming, btw. & so is eating the right food for the purpose of enjoying the textures. all of the touching.

she also has mental stims! that r like… doing equations, or running through facts. counting primes. reciting as much of pi as she can in one minute, imagining a clock face and watching it move. i think so much of her stimming is probably mental, actually. rlly fun stims are finding linguistic patterns in things, or translating things back and forth - so like, from english to french to german to latin & then going back without cheating to see if any changes get imposed by counter-translating directly - also spatial reasoning in general is good stimming. thinking, how exactly would that fall? or imagining things swinging or shattering or anything like that, where you have to extrapolate a bit based on instinct and also knowledge. having to be so internal her whole life would have furnished her with a bunch of them, but i think her OCS family bring so many good visible stims to the surface too!

anyway, those are some of my thoughts on autistic bea. i love her very.

#warrior nun #sister beatrice #autistic beatrice #(in case anyone is wondering yes i am autistic so not speaking out of my armpit here)#if anyone has any others feel free to msg me or tell me in the tags #part of what made me start writing fic for wn was how much i connected to bea's autistic swag #so yea #casper writes #ty anons (and not anons) who were asking abt this

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tavyliasin · 4 months

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BG3 FicFeb NSFW - Day 3

I'll be honest with you darlings I had every intention of making this one spicy but then feelings happened? Still, it was fun to write, and an interesting scenario I might re-use at a later date. Shortfic below the cut (still NSFW) with some CW/Tags for angst, hurt/comfort, scars, wounds, mention of character trauma, but I promise it is mostly on the fluffy comforting side~

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Day 3 - Body Worship

It had been far too long since Tav had found an opportunity to bathe properly. Not just scrubbing off with a damp cloth, or dunking into a freezing lake, a proper warm bath. Of course, taking advantage of having access to a brothel’s finer rooms whilst investigating a disappearance was something she took very seriously. She had to be completely certain she wouldn’t miss a vital clue amongst the perfumed soaps and soft towels. Who knew when the last piece of information they needed might be at the bottom of a wine bottle, or lurking in the bowl of fresh fruit…

“Well, that is certainly better than a murky pond.” Astarion echoed her thoughts as he sank into the water beside her. “Gods that feels good.”

“We should take up the role of investigators more often.” Tav chuckled, reaching for the silver bowl that held a fresh sponge and some soaps. “Here, let me, for once.”

“You don’t need to-”

“I want to.” She left little room for further complaint, taking his hand in her own and delicately sponging away the dirt that seemed to cling to his nails.

“I am not about to break, you know.” He watched her with an eyebrow raised as she continued to be far more gentle than he felt he deserved.

“I know.” If anything, Tav slowed slightly, taking a moment to caress his fingers reverently. “But the world has been rough enough with you lately. Is there anything wrong with a little tenderness instead?”

“Yes- No. Maybe.” He wasn’t even sure what he was trying to say as she brought his hand to her lips and kissed each fingertip in turn. “You…Well…” He sighed, giving in to her care instead for now.

“Relax, Astarion, please.” She trailed a line of kisses up his forearm to his elbow, her fingers gently brushing the faint lines of decades old scars and far fresher bruises marking his pale form. “You know, you really are beautiful.”

“I know.” He replied, out of reflex. “Sorry, old habits… I suppose truly I have no idea if I am or not, other than the parts of myself I can see clearly. Even the water doesn’t hold my reflection any more.”

“Then let me be your mirror.” She smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair that threatened to fall forwards into his eye. “Now, where was I?”

Tav began to wash his other hand and arm, with the same reverence she had used before, but this time giving voice to the thoughts that floated through her mind as she did.

“Here, your fingers. I could comment on how skilled they are, how you can make me feel, but what I admire most is how they always find a solution. You’ve picked locks, disarmed traps-”

“You can do that just as well as I, my love.” He protested, though just as quickly his arguments met their rebuttal.

“Maybe, but you were the one who unlocked my heart.” Tav laughed at the absurdity of her own statement. “It’s cheesier than an entire dairy, I know, but it’s true. I spent my whole life just going from one fling to the next, living each day like it might be my last. Living like that…well you just don’t think of a future. Or who you might spend it with. It was better to just enjoy what I could when I could. Besides, attachments could be exploited.”

“And you see a future now? With tadpoles in our brains, and the threat of an actual mindflayer Elder Brain looming quite literally over our heads?” Despite his words, his expression was soft in the low light of the room.

“I see one worth fighting for.” She leaned forwards and stole a kiss, but only for a moment, pulling back to leave him wanting more.

“Such a tease, my love.”

“I learned from the best~” She put on the hint of a flirtatious tone to match his voice. “Anyway… Here. This part next.”

“A scar, darling? Really?” He almost pulled his arm back, like her touch burned the mark deeper into his skin.

“This was not long after we met. I remember worrying that you might lose too much blood if the wound were just a fraction to the left.” Tav dipped the sponge in the warm bathwater again and carefully cleaned the area, rinsing off the soap when she was done. “But that’s not what I think most when I look at it, or any of the other marks that battle has left upon you.”

“Enlighten me, what is it that you see in such a blemish?” Astarion frowned, struggling to see what she meant.

“Endurance. A fight that didn’t end you. A strength that goes beyond what you can lift in your arms.” She sat back a moment, the myriad of scars across her own body clearer to see as she gestured to them. “Something we share, our will to live, and to be more than the world tried to make of us.”

“Well…I suppose…” He sighed, looking closer at Tav’s form now. Subtle muscles and soft curves, the map of old wounds telling as many stories as his own, and not one of them diminished her beauty in his eyes. “There is some charm to them, maybe.”

She continued to cleanse the sweat and marks of the long days from his body with tender care, her praise like a balm to the bruises on his soul. She almost paused when it was time to move around to his back. “Is it alright if I…?”

“There is nobody I trust more to resist the urge to put a dagger between my ribs.” He mimicked the motion playfully with empty hands as he spoke. “Oh no need to be so serious, my darling, the point is that I trust you. Completely.”

The vampire shifted, turning his back to her. The view was always a painful one - he was free, but the marks remained, the knowledge of the pain in their making broke her heart if she let those thoughts back in. “Even this,” she began carefully, “has never once diminished your worth.”

Tension rose in his shoulders, even as she tried to massage it away. “A poem of subjugation is all that is, a beautiful lie that promised power.”

“And yet you are more powerful than ever, you didn’t let the lie consume you. How about this instead.” She put the sponge aside, and began carefully tracing her own pattern across his back as if overwriting the scars his past had left. “I’ll write my own verse for you, let it erase the old one.”

“What is it exactly that you’re writing?” A hint of worry tinted the curiosity in his voice as it dropped a little quieter than it had been before.

She leaned forward and whispered close in his ear. “My wedding vows.”

#bg3ficfeb #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x tav #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 #fanfic #a tav's guide #hurt/comfort #body worship #angst #scars #a vow beneath the scars #overwriting the past with something beautiful

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noyasaur · 5 months

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i'm constantly trying to shift, but I don't wake up in my DR, but after like two or three hours later, I'm starting to lose track of time and I'm getting very confused, idk what this is, im so so so confused

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

hello! this does sound super confusing and i do have some advice for you!

first things first, if you feel like you feel too drained or confused, i would recommend for you to take a break (it's optional and if you feel like this is not needed for your journey, then by all means don't do this). you could maybe either take a break or stop trying to shift as much. you could maybe give yourself a few days in between every shifting attempt to clear your mind and feel refreshed again.

and remember to give yourself some downtime/self-care time! treat yourself in this reality to help you recover from all the confusion and frustration. do something you love or enjoy: do a skin-care routine, watch all your favourite moves, eat all your favourite snacks! this isn't really shifting related but please, treat yourself and take care of yourself too ♡

now, onto some tips. if you feel like you're taking too long with trying to shift, stating to lose track, or if you've been doing the same 'method' over and over again, maybe it's time to switch it up and try something new. re-evaluate your method and find something suitable for you: not what works the best for the majority, and not what the most popular/trending method is right now. but a way for you to shift in a way that suits you best and is enjoyable for you.

which leads me to another thing i would like to remind you of: reality shifting shouldn't always feel constantly confusing, draining, or messing with your mental state. it is a fun and enjoyable practice. if you feel like you're in a state where you're mind is too clouded and you don't know what to do, i would again recommend to either take a break or have a few days between shifting. or even focus your mind to something like scripting or trying to figure out what's best for you at the moment.

i'm assuming the method you're trying to use is a sleep method since you state you aren't waking up in your dr, but then go onto say that after two/three hours of doing your method, you still haven't shifted. if this is causing confusion and losing your sense of time, maybe you could try a shorter method or just use intention (e.g. just setting the intention to wake up in your dr and fall asleep. something like the law of assumption). doing something like that will allow yourself to just fall asleep and shift, and will cause you a lot less stress.

or on the flip side, if what you think what you're experiencing is you entering some sort of state (as you said you're starting to lose track of time), maybe you could have entered a hypnogogic state or the void state. if it interests you, i would say to look into them, see if what you're experiencing is similar to any of these states, and maybe learn how to use it to your advantage to reality shift.

additionally, please remember you don't have to do your method for hours and hours on end for you to shift! you could literally spend ten minutes of doing a method combined with the intention to shift and then boom, you can shift. there is no set time for how long you need to do your method for you to shift. you choose when you shift and how you shift.

and there is no right or wrong way for somebody to shift either. methods just get you into the right headspace to shift. so if something isn't working for you and it's making you uncomfortable/drained, please by all means, switch things up and try something new. preferably, something that prioritises your enjoyment, motivation and comfort.

remember to also relax and trust yourself and the process! shifting is a natural process and since we already know how to shift, we don't actually need to learn how to do anything. we just need to get ourselves in the right mindset to shift. so learn how to trust yourself and the process more.

to put it into perspective, it's like if you try to fall asleep and you keep telling yourself to fall asleep, you most likely don't fall asleep (unless some people do specific things to fall asleep but again, that doesn't make you fall asleep. it just puts you into a more comfortable state for you to fall asleep). falling asleep is a natural process we already know how to do. we can do things to make us more comfortable for us to fall asleep faster, but we don't physically do anything to fall asleep. we already know how to fall asleep naturally. reality shifting is kind of like that, in a sense (not saying reality shifting = sleeping. but in the sense that they are both natural processes our body knows how to do).

anyways, i hope i was able to help! and please remember to take careful of yourself and prioritise yourself first :( your dr will always be around and shifting isn't going anywhere. so please, keep your journey and the shifting process enjoyable and comfortable for yourself and remember to give yourself a break/some self-care whenever you need it! good luck on your journey!

- saturn ♡

#shiftblr #shifting #reality shifting #desired reality #shifting realities #reality shifter #shifting blog #desired realities #noyasaur #shifting community #ask saturn💌

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not-really-a-writer · 1 year

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Mothers Day Collection Part 2! (2023)

A followup to my most liked post and honestly the thing I enjoyed writing the most. In honor of Mothers' Day, I present more mom!reader and pregnant!reader stories for your enjoyment. These all take place in the same happy fix-it AU/modern AU where the war will end and the clones live normal lives.

Commander Cody x mom!reader

Captain Howzer x pregnant!mom!reader

Commander Mayday x pregnant!reader

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy test, pregnancy, references to past shitty relationship. Kissing. Nothing spicy. The last one could be interpreted as mega ANGST, but in this universe it's happy because Mayday lives and he definitely doesn't die.

Mothers' Day Bouquet

Commander Cody x mom!reader

"Alright, time to go sleepyhead. My kids will be here any minute," you say as you place a kiss on Cody's forehead.

The morning had been long and lazy, the quiet kind of morning that comes after a long night of going out and having fun. You and Cody had been holding each other, drifting in and out of sleep, just enjoying each others' presence.

You hadn't been together very long, but things were at the point where the two of you were getting more serious. And you were thinking of introducing Cody to your children. But not yet.

As much fun as it would be to bring him further into your own life, as a single mother, you also knew the danger of getting too close to someone too quickly. It was hard re-entering the dating world, this time as a mother, only to realize that the cycle of meeting-getting close to-and ultimately breaking up with someone would now affect your young son and daughter too, if you decided to make them aware of who you were dating. So introducing them to your new boyfriend would need to wait until you were certain he was going to stay. No-one stays forever, but you wanted to know he would be there... at least for a while.

"Alright, I'm headed out," Cody says, pulling on his clothes and moving toward your front door. "Enjoy Mothers' Day with your kids," he says, planting a final kiss on your lips before departing for the day. "I'll see you later," he adds.

Shortly afterward, your ex drives up and lets your son and daughter out in front of your house. There they are, your twins. The lights of your life.

You go through your activities planned for the day: a nice late morning brunch at a fancy venue nearby followed by a relaxing stroll through a nearby nature preserve. Though you didn't want to admit it, it was hard going through the day seeing couples together with their children. It was a life you thought you would have for yourself but life gave you an alternate experience. You were never meant to be one of those smiling women in holonet commercials, opening up boxes of chocolates or jewelry or receiving an armful of flowers on your special day. None of that was real, you had decided. Not for you.

Since splitting from your ex, and diving into the world of coparenting, you learned to make Mothers Day special on your own. You took it as an opportunity to show your children the importance of Mothers' Day, showed them how to honor the different mothers in their lives, including your own mother (their grandmother). And perhaps most importantly, you showed them how to celebrate you by taking yourself and them out somewhere nice for lunch so you could enjoy a nice meal without having to cook or clean up. Your ex never really celebrated you. Your birthday, your anniversary, or mothers' day. So, your children were not used to seeing you treated to such pampering. Though it was only through the act of gifting to yourself, you decided it was important for them to see that their mother deserved something special every once in a while. And they were happy to celebrate with you.

You manage to have a good day out with your twins. They were well-behaved as they understood the importance of the occasion. And you were grateful to have them. They were the only good thing that came of your last relationship. You drop them off in the evening with your ex as planned per your custody agreement and hug and kiss them good bye for the night. Then, you head back to your house for a quiet evening at home.

You pour yourself a glass of wine and sit down on your couch to indulge in the latest sleazy holofilm. But suddenly, a knock on your door disturbs you from your entertainment. Who could be knocking the door at this hour? you think to yourself, puzzled.

Upon opening the door, you discover a delivery person with a large vase full of flowers. "I have a delivery for... uh.... you, I suppose," they say shyly. A flower delivery? For me? You stare in disbelief momentarily before coming to your senses. "Thanks kid," you say, taking the bouquet from their arms. You place the vase on your kitchen counter and admire it. It looks just like the ones you'd seen in advertisements this year. Not something you'd find at your local supermarket. Someone went out of their way to get these.

You reach out and touch the velvety petals and foliage of the arrangement. Verdant. Elegant. Lovely.... Real. While admiring the beauty of the blooms on your counter, you notice a small card attached to the vase.

Hope you enjoyed your special day. xo, Cody

Thank You

Captain Howzer x pregnant!mom!reader

"Bzzzzzz!! Bzzzzzz!" Howzer makes little spacecraft noises as he tries to maneuver the pink plastic spoon into your toddler's mouth. "Mwwahhhh!" she cries, flailing her arm and causing the wet cereal to fling out of the spoon onto your husband's face signaling that she is done with her meal.

"Ahhh!" Howzer exclaims, wiping the cereal from his eye. "You got good aim, Soraya." Howzer gathers up her messy plastic dishes and moves to place them in the sink. "You get that from your mama," he says, leaning over to give you a kiss on your cheek.

"Hmph," you snort with amusement. Indeed she did get it from you. You were always the better shot. Not that Howzer was incompetent with a blaster. It's just that you had been a sniper in the GAR. And that's how you met the man who would become your husband. And now that the war was over, he became the father of your child. And your child to be.

You finish chewing up the veggies that were in your mouth and turn to give him a proper kiss. "Soraya's our sassy child. You think the next one will be sweet?" you ask.

Howzer places his hand atop your swollen belly and rubs it gently. "If he isn't, then I'm willing to keep trying for another," he says, closing in for another kiss, this time on your forehead.

Howzer finishes cleaning up Soraya and the kitchen, allowing you to finish your meal in peace, and then he takes your dishes while you relax on the couch.

You close your eyes for what feels like a minute, but upon awakening, you realize that you had been asleep for hours! Howzer is quietly working in the kitchen, preparing things for dinner.

"Howzer, I had no idea..." you begin. "You were so tired?" Howzer chuckles, walking over to you, taking you into his arms. "I suppose so," you say, still waking up. "I figured you were tired, so I let you sleep. You didn't sleep well last night anyway." And this was true. Last night hadn't been restful.

"But what about the yard work we were gonna do today?" you yawn. "It's ok, love. I did it already," he replies. You look through the gauzy curtains of your living area. It's true. The yard is neatly trimmed and orderly.

"And the grocery shopping?" you ask. "Took care of it," Howzer says, rubbing your arms. And clearly, the evidence lay before you. Howzer was diligently prepping meals for the week and cooking up something nice for tonight already.

"Where's Soraya?" you ask, noticing your toddler is absent. "She's down for her nap still. Looks like you weren't the only tired one in the house, " Howzer winks, returning to his food prep in the kitchen.

You take a moment to look around your house. Everything is neatly put away and tidy. Howzer must have cleaned up earlier when Soraya first went to sleep. "You cleaned..." you start to say, pointing out the dusted shelves, and mopped floors. "...thank you," you add.

"No need to thank me. It's called responsibility," Howzer says, rolling his eyes. "I have a toddler. I have a pregnant wife. I need to step it up around here. You can't do everything all the time, especially not now. And it's not gonna get easier once we have the second baby," he adds.

You take a seat at the kitchen table and watch Howzer work. He cuts up a variety of legumes and leafy things along with some meat to make a delicious looking, and smelling, stew. All from scratch.

"If anything, I should be thanking you," Howzer says, continuing to work. "Why?" you say, still a little groggy from your nap.

"For saying yes," he says. Putting down his utensils, wiping his hands on a towel, and coming to you at the table. "For saying yes when I asked you to marry me. So we could make this life and family together."

Howzer leans down to kiss you and you return the gesture, rising to meet him. You feel your unborn son kick and you can tell Howzer feels it too, as his body was pressed into yours. You can feel his lips curling into a smile as he kisses you. "I felt that," he whispers as you can't help but smile either. "I think we got another sassy one on the way," he teases, placing his hand on your belly again, feeling the little kicks as the boy continues. "Oh no," you whine with faux disappointment. You smile against his lips, keeping your eyes closed together. "Guess we'll have to try again after this one."

One Day

Commander Mayday x pregnant!reader

You knew this day would come. Honestly, you knew. But what you didn't anticipate was how heavy it would weigh on you.

When you first met Mayday, he was just for fun. A handsome commander for you to spend your free time with. Someone you had some laughs and some amazing times with in bed...

But those steamy nights turned into long late night talks. Those long late nights turned into long mornings together. Talks over coffee, then breakfasts. Late night meetups turned into early evening date nights. Trying new things together whenever he was around. Just enjoying being alive during the time you had together.

You knew he was a clone trooper and that eventually his duty would call him away from your home planet to some faraway place. You knew that from the moment you met. But back then it didn't matter. He was just a guy you were having fun with. No big deal.

You just had no way of knowing that you would fall in love, and that this roll-with-the-punches type of trooper would have fallen in love with you too.

Holding back tears, you watch him gather his things from the previous night and pack them away into his bag. He would be shipping out today with his battalion to a remote outpost on a snowy planet.

"How long will you be there?" you asked him weeks ago, when he got his orders for his next assignment. "At least a full standard year," Mayday replied gruffly. You knew he wasn't happy about it either, but there was nothing he could do.

"Darling," Mayday whispers, reaching to you, noticing the tears in your eyes. You turn into his gentle hand and press your cheek into his palm, letting your eyes close and the tears run over. "It's going to be ok," he says quietly.

"What are we going to do?" you had asked him only days ago. You hadn't been feeling right lately and that spurred you to take a pregnancy test. The indicator shone brightly with the result: You were pregnant. "This isn't allowed for you..." you said, breaking down in tears. "When the war is over, darling...." he started to say before your sobs cut him off. "We can make it work..."

"How do you know?" you ask, more tears streaming down your face. Mayday cups your face tenderly and looks into your eyes. "Because I'm gonna do my best out there. Gonna do my part to end this war as quickly as possible so I can get back to you," Mayday says earnestly.

You can no longer hold back any more tears and sobs, and at this point bury your face into his chest plate. The cold armor plate serves as a hard barrier between you and his warmth. Much like the war itself which stood in the way of you living a normal life together.

"I want a life with you, Mayday," you say through your sobs. "I want us to be together. With our baby."

"We will, one day," Mayday says, his voice breaking. The sound of it further breaking your heart. "I will fight like hell to see it happen," he says with such determination, he almost growls the words out.

Mayday pulls you away from him so he can look in your eyes again. "I want to hold our little baby," he says, running his hands up and down your sides.

You smile a broken smile, knowing what he wishes for is bittersweet. "She or he won't be little a baby anymore by the time you get back," you say, injecting the cold truth of reality into his fantasy. "You're right," Mayday says, his own eyes now spilling tears of his own.

After a few moments, Mayday shoulders his pack and heads for your door. He needs to make it to the transport landing in time for departure. "I promise, as soon as this war is over, I can leave that outpost... I'm coming straight back here. To marry you. To hold our baby..." Mayday continues, pulling you in tight.

"One day," you repeat his words from earlier. Holding him, you gather strength from within to begin the longest wait of your life. You know that when he steps outside your door, that you never really know if you will see him again. You steady your breathing and look at him one last time.

"One day," Mayday promises again, placing a final kiss on your forehead before disappearing into the morning crowd on the sidewalk.

#commander mayday x reader #commander cody x reader #captain howzer x reader #clone trooper x reader #mom!reader fanfiction #pregnant!reader fanfiction

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pvnkc0rpse · 2 months

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general 3d h4rm redvctiøn t!ps₊˚⊹☆ pls share <33

I AM PRO RECØVERY PLS DONT REPØRT, BLOCK INSTEAD! these might be triggering to some, although not intended!!! this is a post for people who already have 3ds. if you feel like you are developing a disørder please seek help asap. 3ds are not fun, cute, or cool; they are detrimental to our everyday lives and a battle we fight daily.

the following are things i learned throughout my years from general research, tumblr, moots, etc. ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

✩ everyone says this but drink lots of water & stay hydrated. have a water intake goal & try to meet it every day, adapt if needed depending on how active you will be throughout the day!

✩ take vitamins, and if possible go to the doctor to check your vitamin levels to see exactly what you need most

✩ always carry something with real sugar in it. not a zero sugar candy but something with real glucose! take it if you feel dizzy/ feel like you are about to pass out. take this as a warning & go get something with real nutritious value, even if it’s small

✩ know that you don’t need a løw r3strictiøn d!et to lose weight. you can achieve your goals with a high-res d!et as well, look into things like bmr and figure out what works best for you

✩ if you are feeling sick from a virus or something else, make sure you are taking care of yourself. i personally recommend eating three meals and drinking water & 0cal vitamin water. i know it's scary but you can make pretty good & nutritious løw cal meals if you feel uncomfortable e4ting three times a day

✩ eat if you want to drive and don't put yourself and others at risk. if you really don't want to break your fast: walk (if possible), take the bus, a cab, or ask someone else to take you. be a responsible person pls :)))

✩ be kind to yourself if you b!ng3. it's okay, you are okay, and you are not a failure. don't try to go all out for a "last time" or because you "already failed", it'll make you feel worse and potentially get you sick

✩ if you b!ng3, try your best to not count the c4løries. i know it's easier said than done but trust it's only gonna hurt your mental health :(( drink water, or tea, and try to relax. if you have a stomachache you can put a pillow under your legs to feel better

✩ try your best not to use l4x4tives. instead, try drinking plum juice, natural apple juice, or even milk. flaxseeds and water also do the job

✩ i sincerely recommend everyone to stay away from pvrging at all costs, it is incredibly harmful to your teeth and organs, and super dangerous; you could literally d!e on your first try. however, as someone with mi4 i recognize that i would not have survived if it hadn't been for h4rm redvctiøn tips. if you have already tried 4nti-pvrging tips and are still in that mindset: drink lots of water before and after, don't use any objects (like ur toothbrush), and do it right after eating to minimize the stomach ac!d in what's coming up

✩ i know a lot of people know this but still, you shouldn’t brush your teeth after pvrging. regardless of how gross you feel, it is super harmful and you could lose your teeth :// if you have mi4 i recommend getting a good natural toothpaste but even then, the brushing itself is bad for your teeth. drink water or milk and wait 30-60 minutes before you brush your teeth

✩ if you feel in distress, please seek support! there are lots of groups both in person and online that serve to support people in active 3ds. do some research, ask around, all that :)) this is a hell of a disørder and it is even harder to battle alone. if you ever feel like it's time for recøvery don't think twice and seek help right away

✩ don't interact with people/blogs that claim to be a coach :// other people with 3ds know how hard this is to live with, we would never actively promote others to purposely make themselves worse! these "coaches" have been around for 10+ years at this point, and a big majority of them are old men who get øff on bødy ch3cks

✩ if you are a minor, i give you a big hug because i have been there before (ᴍɪɴᴏʀs ᴘʟs ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴏ :))). from someone who grew up in 3dblr, don’t tell anyone your age. there are creepy people out here who are looking out for young people to corrupt. adults in 3dblr will know not to interact with ageless blogs

please be safe!!! and if you have any h4rm redvctiøn tips please share! okee ily bye <333

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔ 　　　. 　　˚　　　　*　　　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　　　　　　 ˖✶ ✦　　

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breakfastteatime · 1 year

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Here we go! Breakfast Tea's (vaguely) coherent Survivor Thoughts!

Spoliers under the cut. You have been warned.

Cal - HOW MUCH TRAUMA CAN YOU PUT ONE PERSON THROUGH?!?!?! My heart aches for him. When the game tells you to use his dark side powers in the third act, I absolutely refused, hoping the game would auto-continue because I refused to engage. NOPE! NO CHOICE. And okay, yeah, it was A LOT of fun but ow ow ow ow ow. He needs SO MUCH TIME to heal. The end of the game hit so hard because it feels so heavy and uncertain. We don't leave off with Cal feeling hopeful for the future. He admits he's scared, oh, and by the way, STILL TAPPED INTO THE DARK SIDE. Throughout the whole story, he just goes and goes and takes blow after blow, and then it ends with him hearing Cere. Watch me write fanfic set after the game in which I send Cal off on his own because REASONS. Ahem, anyway!

CANON JEDI CANNOT COOK AND ALSO DRINK TEA, THANK YOU.

BD-1 - BD remains the best droid. The BEST. He is always there for Cal, and he's so happy to see Cordova. And when he hugs Cal after Cere dies? *sobbing* Also, it did NOT escape my notice that the option to EMBRACE THE DARK SIDE comes up after Bode punts BD across the chamber. I LOVE THIS LITTLE DROID SO MUCH.

Echoes - I love how the echoes work in this game. The entire quest starts out partially because Cal finds an echo. Some echoes are visualised, and you can re-experience them, which is nice to see in canon. Cal also walks through Dagan's memory which intrigued me. Basically, they remain completely integral to both Cal and the wider narrative.

Also, as a game, it is just a lot of fun to play. There are puzzles that make you feel clever for solving them. Combat was fun and exciting, I loved all the lightsaber forms, and I have learned that I am over-reliant on Slow in JFO. Honestly, it's all still buzzing in my head. I need to replay it at a much slower pace now that I can relax about spoilers.

The Mantis Crew - While I knew they would've all gone their separate ways, it was still a lot to take in. It makes sense to me (Greez isn't cut out for this, Merrin wants to see the galaxy, and Cere's longing to reclaim the Jedi's legacy), and I'm glad everyone got together eventually, but I missed their vibe... At least we got flashbacks!

Cere - Absolutely devastated at her loss. She was Cal's mentor and therefore basically doomed by Star Wars law (she's the Obi-Wan), but it absolutely destroyed me. And it destroyed Cal, too. Cal, who was hanging by a thread for so much of this. Losing her, and the way he lost her, was too much for him. I wanted to see more of her SO MUCH, but I understand why we didn't. Ooof, I'm not getting over that anytime soon. I got my wish to play as her (and yes, she's WAY stronger than Cal), but... but...

Bode - I had a strong feeling he would betray Cal, but I had no idea WHY. It was a really nice touch and worked really well. His motivations make perfect sense, and they aren't some galaxy-bending quest to rule over others - he's just a father desperate to protect his daughter. I *love* how this series tells personal stories in the midst of such *literal* spectacle. Cal chasing after him, everything that's happening because Bode's a traitor... ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. And then the end, when Cal kills him to save himself and Merrin? GoodBYE. Oh, and now I'm walking around finishing up missions and there are NEW ECHOES EVERYWHERE that come from Bode.

Cordova - WHAT?!?!?! I screamed, I cried, first when he turned up, and then again when he died. Agony. I am in AGONY. I can barely think about the game right now without breaking down. Also loved the reference to Qui-Gon Jinn, although I also think that makes Cordova a lot younger than I've been headcanoning? Oh well!

Merrin - She remains so much fun. Her and Cal's relationship wasn't what I wanted, but it was handled well enough. The whole fight with the two of them against the giant drill was AMAZING. I absolutely loved the visualisation of her warping power. Oh, and when they take shelter from the sandstorm, and she holds his hand while he's having a nightmare? Perfect. While I would've preferred the two of them remaining friends, them being together doesn't bother me too much.

Greez - he is just so worried for Cal. HE MADE UP A ROOM FOR CAL IN HIS CANTINA AND MAKES HIM TAKE A NAP AND THEN WAKES HIM UP LIKE OLD TIMES YES I AM ALREADY COOKING UP A FANFIC FOR THIS I CAN'T HELP IT. I love how he's always checking in with Cal, making sure he's okay, telling him VERY firmly it is not his fault when Cere dies. Oh no, here I go again, can't stop crying...

Koboh - I love that town and building it up. I'm nowhere near finished yet, and in no rush to do so.

Finale - it took me a while to really sit and take that ending in. In recent years, we've become so used to second parts of trilogies not really having dark and uncertain endings that it really hit me how bleak it initially feels. We are leaving Cal still mourning, still struggling with his own darkness, still hurting... and that works. It works because he isn't finished growing and learning. He's a survivor, but he's a long, long way from thriving. The ending fits. It hurts. Everything hurts. But that story got the only ending that fit how dark it is.

Hey. Hey, Sequel Trilogy. THIS IS HOW YOU TELL A COHESIVE STORY ACROSS MULTIPLE PARTS.

HATE VADER'S REDEMPTION EVEN MORE THAN I ALREADY DID, THANK YOU.

#star wars jedi: survivor #jedi survivor spoilers

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thehackneypony · 5 months

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How's Leaky Cup doing?

i know i kind of fell off the planet haha… the horses are all doing fine!

quick answer:

- leaky cup has not grown an inch, but he is developing into a hunky little man

- yoyo is happily snoozing with her friends in a stress-free field

- chalk is being boarded for training/ leased to my mother. she was out of work for a very hot minute due to bleeding ulcers— but the horse coming out of that recovery had a brand new, relaxed mental state! super proud of her

- bugsy is mostly retired due to arthritis, but enjoys trail rides and lots of carrots— fun fact: two separate dentists have looked at bugsy’s teeth and thought him to be in his mid to late twenties instead of like 18-19yo. not a huge jump and just conjecture, sometimes previous dental care or lack thereof can affect how a horse’s teeth look.

longer answer:

something medically happened to me almost a year ago and caused me a lot of trauma lol, i was emotionally uninvolved with my own life— got a promotion and threw myself into work and away from horses or my friends. yoyo & leaky are boarded with a very nice lady— i get updates and texts on them and their needs so i can still schedule the vet and farrier. chalky and bugsy are being doted on by my mom everyday.

my life is constantly being sorted and re-organized, and in this journey i realized i’d always put everything into caring for animals as an excuse to not take care of myself. thankfully, i have someone in my life that cares and helps me to see where i’m not taking myself into account. it’s really a struggle with my heavy work-load and life responsibilities-in-general to balance all that i want to accomplish for both my career and my own personal interests; to be terribly honest, with both the guilt and exhaustion from falling out of habits and healing, i’m having a really hard time finding motivation to go to the barn. i teach my mom lessons, so i get to see chalky and bugsy every week— but yo-yo and leaky have fallen to the wayside unintentionally, and i’m having a really hard time finding my way back to them.

i’m still a bit lost in the sauce of balancing my own life after everything haha and because of that i’ve been toying with the idea of downsizing just a bit.

yoyo is my forever baby, her and bugsy will happily live out the rest of their years with me. chalky is the horse i usually consider my heart horse— she’s so mare-ish and high maintenance i love her— but she also requires a lot of constant work to burn off her anxious energy and tire out her brain. i wouldn’t trust her sensitive emotions with just anyone, but i also know i can’t commit to working her 6 days a week anymore. if i can find a good lease for her, that would be ideal tbh— she can be veeeery fancy with the right rider, and a really fun trail partner. the hardest one is leaky, who i’m very genuinely considering finding another home for. it was such a great learning experience meeting and working with him— but we never really clicked, and i feel like i’m not the best opportunity for him. through professional training we’ve gauged he’d be a rockstar at cross-country— just an absolute tank on the course. he’s outpaced a selle francis/irish sport-horse cross and proven to be the bravest horse you’ve ever met.

the problem is that he has yet to be started under-saddle, and besides the regular handling of a boarding facility, has mostly been left to his own devices with his boy-band herd out in the field. i’ve never sold a horse before, have no idea where to start— and am unsure if i could even find someone interested in him as he is now. tbh, i think a bigger part of why i haven’t really done much more than just think about this is that i’m also just hesitant to let go. even if we don’t click, i’ve cared for him and watched him grow. he’s still one of my babies, and while it would be a suuuuper helpful financial decision to sell— if feels like closing a big chapter on my life that i thought would never end. it is a constant dilemma that keeps be up at night haha

i really appreciate the Ask <3 i keep forgetting i have tumblr— and by extension this huge community of horse people i’ve come to consider friends— to help me. it’s hard, and i’m still learning to ask for help. i hope everyone has been surviving, thriving— and enjoying their new year!!!

#i apologize for the long response #i appreciate your care #and look forward to hearing back from you guys!

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princetofbone · 1 year

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Summer Studying Tips

As it around the time schools get out for summer, I wanted to share some tips I’ve learned over my many years of doing summer math homework and writing essays for various purposes. I’ve done this enough to know that there are really fucking painful ways to do it and ways that don’t suck nearly as much. Lets get cracklakin!

Timing:

- Ideally you should start early. This post is happening at the start of summer because you should start your studying at the beginning of summer. I like to organize my workload in a bell curve for maximum rest and least amount of cramming at the end. This means that you are starting the summer with a smallish amount of work (to rest and do fun things to reset from the schoolyear), and doing more and more every day as the summer progresses (helps stave off boredom and gets things done), and then start doing less to re-rest yourself so you can be fresh and ready for the next year. All of this while still being finished with no need to cram a bunch of work in at the end of the summer.

- While this is a different aspect of “timing” it is, in my opinion, more important. Have a set time (or many set times you rotate between) to do your summer work. Make sure this time is not when other people are going to be inviting you to things or when you can hear or see people outside doing fun things. For me, this means at four or five in the morning. I wake up and get as much done as I can before six, then have the rest of the day to relax without worrying about having to do anything. This method was practically beaten into me, so I kinda hate it, but I can tell my father to go fuck himself and still use tools he forced upon me. I know many people who only work at noon because they like sitting outside in the morning sun and they hang out with friends in the evening. Overall for this one, just make sure that the time you pick isn’t a time where you typically do something because the worst feeling in the world is fomo while studying- it kills nay and all motivation.

Location:

I feel like every study tips post known to man says something or rather about how important location is- and it is super important! Like super super important! but no-one talks about why it is so important. And that good locations for studying depend on who you are and how you do work. I personally struggle to work in cafes because I can hear people talking and I’m nosey as hell. I have friends who can’t work in libraries because the quiet + book noises freaks her out. I can’t work in my kitchen because its nearly impossible for me to focus there. the main things I think about before I try working in a new space are

1) how loud will it be

2) what kind of noise will it be

3)have I spent time there before doing something else (that my mind will want to do more than study)

4) is it somewhere I have the space to study + internet

5) will I run into someone I know

6) can I be there a decently long amount of time without paying/not paying very much?

7) what is the temperature like

8) what is the likelihood of a kids club showing up

obviously these criteria are different for each person, but they might be a good jumping off place- because it is summer and most kids are getting out of school, avoiding places that will be overrun with them is probably a good idea. In addition, make sure to settle down in a place that is a comfortable temperature and a place where the temp wont fluctuate too much.

Motivation:

I think overall this is the most important thing to keep in mind. It doesn't matter how well you plan out when and where you will be doing your work, it is hell to do if you don’t want to do it.

I’m not going to tell you to love your subject, but if it is something that you don't like, that feels pointless, and you think it has absolutely no impact on your future, it’s going to be a nightmare to get done. I have no tips for you if you are in this situation.

If you don’t want to do it because it is annoying, but it’s a necessary class that you need to take, that works great! put on some fun music and force yourself to do it. It will suck but if it is part of your major or in any way connected to something you like or are passionate about, follow those connections. For example, I was in this awful writing class last semester. The teacher was bad and there was nothing really to be learned. it was a class i had to take solely for the credits. I decided that I was going to be obnoxious and write every damn essay about corsetry and the patriarchy. I swear to got I have 80 pages of writing about the damn subject. I should be publishing a book at this point. (I was one of my favorite classes that semester bc I had so much fun with the topic)

If you don’t want to do it because it’s hard, buckle up and open khan academy and YouTube. nearly every subject known to man is covered in some level on those two sites, and if that fails, find an alternate textbook to the one you have and see if having two perspectives makes it make sense.

If it’s something you want to do but just cant force yourself to do and you’ve been scrolling for hours, go brush your teeth, change clothes or take a shower and start trying to do your work somewhere new.

I hope one of these helped, and if you have more ideas/tips pls let me know bc I’m writing this to procrastinate on my own summer work.

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miss-tc-nova · 2 years

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Moonfire Faire Date - Alphinaud, Estinien, Hien

Sorry I’m a bit...uninitiated with the Moonfire Faire I’ve only done like two but I did have fun. It’s kind of short but I hope it’s sweet nonetheless.

~~~~~

Going to the Moonfire Faire with Them

Alphinaud:

Anything to see his beloved smile.

Because Alphinaud is an absolute sucker.

The question barely makes it out of our mouth before he agrees to your request. Meaning there’s no effort required to get him to go.

Honestly, he’s kind of excited for a date. Whether you call it that or not, he will.

He’s all too happy to amble the stalls and try the foods with you.

You’ll see the prettiest blush on his face if you feed something to him with your own hand.

He loves it though.

And then the two of you come across the tower.

Oh, the tower.

Alphinaud will never complete the tower, but he’ll give it a right try.

And he gets farther than expected.

He may be more suited to magic than melee, but he’s still got a good pep in his step, able to dodge those pesky explosives and hop a few platforms.

It’s the moment he hears you shout his name that his concentration slips and he lands himself in the ocean below.

Offer him a hand and gush about how surprising his run was and he’ll turn as red as a bombard.

But by all means, praise him more to see this cutie become a flustering mess.

After an exciting day, it’s time to relax on the beach.

And when the sun goes down, the two of you watch the fireworks together.

Happy and warm wrapped in each other’s arms.

Estinien:

He really needs to learn how to say “no” when it comes to you.

Yet here he is, in Costa del Sol, stripped of his armor yet again and forced to endure this ridiculous event.

But, having seen that ever present smile on your face since arriving, he can’t find it in himself to truly hate it.

He will continue grumbling though.

He’ll follow you through the stalls, mostly as a bystander to your whims.

Though you can always tell when he’s interested by the way his gaze becomes glued to something, be it food, trinkets, or a performance.

If you buy something to eat, you have to share it. He won’t say so, but you can tell by his expectant glances. It’s even better if you feed it to him because he won’t argue, but you see the red tinting his ears.

Even so, Estinien will continue bemoaning his fate at the Faire.

At least until he finds the massive tower standing in the water.

A competition? That involves jumping? He’s a freaking dragoon, of course he’s going to demolish that thing.

If you’re the competitive type, the two of you could spend hours racing and re-matching the tower.

Ignore the people placing bets.

If you’re not though, he’ll be thoroughly smug to hear you cheer him on as he stands atop the structure, having blown away any previous records.

When all the fun’s been had and the sun begins to set, he’ll sit with you in the sand, watching the fireworks paint the sky.

However, his eyes aren’t always on the sky, frequently dropping to admire that smile you’re still wearing.

Perhaps next year, he won’t be quite so resistant to your pleas to attend the Faire.

Hien:

A faire hmm? Alright.

Doesn’t take much to convince Hien to go, provided he can slip away from his duties.

Granted, having heard of the east’s past hand in this festival, he’s happy to rekindle that bit of tradition and share some of his home with faire goers.

Just an added boost to building international relations.

But Yugiri will eventually shoo him away to enjoy the faire while she takes over some of the less formal duties.

And enjoy he does.

His hand around yours, it’s your turn to try to keep up as you rush after the enthusiastic royal.

He’s excited to see it all and try a bit of everything.

You have to insist that everything bought you only get one of because otherwise, there would just be too much if you each had one.

Forget feeding him, he’s likely to feed you.

Then comment how cute you look when he does.

Ah, but then there’s that tower. He definitely has to take a swing at that.

Like Estinien, he’s all for competition and even a gracious loser should it come to that.

But if you hold back on competing, he’ll tease you a bit but ask that you cheer him on regardless—even dedicating a run to his beloved.

Laughs around though; it takes him a few attempts to complete the damn thing.

But he’s a good sport about it.

The fireworks, at the end of the day, however, get a bit of criticism.

Hien admits they’re pretty, but that Doma can produce ones far more intricate and dazzling.

Though, as his arms tighten around you, he implies that even those are nothing compared to the view of you.

#novas ffxiv headcanons #alphinaud leveilleur #estinien varlineau #hien rijin #novas requests #gender neutral reader

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babychoko · 2 years

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🌺𝔸 𝕤𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥🌺

Part 11

Note: Edited the last part because sentences were somehow deleted.

Pebbles crunched as I walked limply around the corner to my flat. I thought that the winter time would be quieter and more relaxed. But this did not seem to be the case. Things had become more stressful at my work because drinking coffee was especially popular during the cold season. Usually I had a little time to sit down. But I stayed on my feet almost the entire shift. My headache from the seminar didn't help at all. I'm through for today.

I have to mention that my seminar is not as much fun as before. Mr. Zhongli is no longer leading the class and is taking his post as a guest elsewhere. I haven't seen him for quite a while. And when I do, it's rarely in the hallway, on the second floor. I really missed his methods and found him interesting.

That reminds me, I still have his contact details. He gave me these back then when I was worried about Venti. Should I come to an emergency, he would help me.

Through all my worries, I didn't notice what he said. But...emergency? I suppose if it has something to do with Venti. After all, they're very close. I learned then that Mr. Zhongli helped him out of a jam.

Exactly.

When Venti got to a very low point in his life and lost control of himself. It tears my heart to think about it. Every now and then I think, what would have happened if we had met earlier? Most likely not much. After all, we have a bit of an age difference. No kidding, I thought he was in his early twenties.

But he isn't.

Blessed with a round face, wrinkle-free, he's proudly...

Oh, never mind his age.

What I do know is that he's been through a lot. And if he needs my help, that I will be there for him anytime. With these thoughts, I trot up the stairs to my flat door. It took me quite a while to get there and open the door. What I needed now is to put my feet up. They're bound to fall off any time now if I don't do that.

Winter time..yes yes. One is always sad there. And in autumn, you're still full of joie de vivre.

I suppose so. The colourful leaves still radiated life in nature. And now the branches are standing all bare and blowing away. The new year has already started and I don't feel like new.

As the saying goes: new year, new me.

This and that.

But I can promise that I am exactly the same person at 00:00 as I was at 11:59.

My bag emitted a dull sound as dropped on the floor and took off my shoes, followed by my jacket and other stuff.

I just want to lie down. That's all. Tomorrow I'm sure I'll be re-energised.

I finally sat down on the sofa with my house clothes on and ate my warmed up dinner. But after only a few seconds I was interrupted by a phone call.

Huh?

I answered the call without looking to see who it was.

"(Name)! Long time no hear." I furrowed my eyebrows in irritation.

"To hear from you again..."

"Ehh... aren't you glad? There was a reason for that! Now listen carefully."

"I'm all ears." I sighed and took another bite. He gasped for air.

"I'm allergic to cats, after all..“ Then he exhaled.

"A fact, yes."

"When I was on my way to university, a cat wouldn't budge. I bet it knew I was allergic to them. Roadblock, I tell you. And here's the thing: I wanted to get to the other side of the road..until this beast attacked me! She was looking for trouble!"

Pause.

Oh, he's done? Does he want me to respond?

"Venti, you mean to tell me that a strange cat tried to mess with you of all people?"

"I didn't have time to cuddle with that one. That could have ended fatally. So I was going to decline, then my phone fell out of my hand: it got broken! Uh, hello?"

I struggled to keep from laughing out loud. Him and his stories! Wait a minute...

"So how did you call me now?" I looked at the screen at that exact moment. Oh, his home phone. "It's been taken care of. So your phone didn't survive?"

"And I almost didn't either! Imagine that, (Name)." The thought of Venti rejecting cuddles from a cat made me laugh.

"Can your phone be fixed?"

He sighed. "Unfortunately, no. That's why I have to buy a new phone. What a waste!" I put my plate down on the table. "I think it's about time for a new model. It doesn't have to be expensive." He was always sending me sms. He could make things easier with a smartphone. There are apps that cost nothing. He can send me endless messages or make long phone calls. Besides, nowadays you're almost forced to walk around with a smartphone.

You can't do much without apps any more. But no matter how many times you mention it, Venti was never really convinced. He booked tickets or anything else directly from a shop, office or wherever.

"Maybe I should get one similar to yours."

"That would be good..wait, what?" Venti and a smartphone? I should call the reporters. He'll make headlines.

"Let's look at some models. How about this?" A good opportunity, and to see again. How many weeks has it been? The last time was when he finally met my mother. One day I went to see her and introduced Venti to her. So, a long time ago. Before Christmas.

Her reaction was completely different from what I expected. She was very relaxed, calm and happy. He has a certain charisma that you can't hate. Luckily he didn't let out a line like, "Oh, I didn't know you had a sister!" He would have blown her away with that. Also, I was relieved that she didn't ask about future plans..

After all, he and I didn't bring this up any further. But it was clear that we were leaving everything to fate.

When Venti agreed, we went looking for a smartphone in the shop the very next day. There was a cheap model with a camera from every brand.

"This one costs more than a whole rent to a capital city..how many lenses is that? Huh..THREE?" He looked more closely at the back. "And where's the back button?" I swiped at the screen. "That's how you do it. They don't have those on the newer ones-"

Click

"Wow! Really detailed is this camera!"

"Venti, d-delete that!" Another reason why I won't get one of these. Besides, I can hear our wallets howling.

Sighing, I deleted the picture and also the ones taken by some teenagers. They seem to have forgotten to delete their pictures. It could be that I did a favour for them.

"And a lot of people buy that? Aren't they all practically the same?"

"Well, this brand is popular. Especially among the younger ones. Let's go to the other section. They're cheaper there." I forgot he lives under a rock. Further away from the city, no TV, little internet use... I already envy him for that.

And what a joy that he is not picky. We found the right model for him after not long. In the very next shop, I was allowed to choose a new mobile phone cover for him. It was a light shade of green with a dandelion inside. He liked this cover very much.

After the successful shopping, we sat down in a café and ordered something to drink. I showed him some functions, which he quickly learned to use.

"Hmm... sending you endless messages. That doesn't sound bad." I can get ready for something. But of course I would be delighted. I'll admit that.

I sipped my cocoa in silence and put my phone back on the table. "What have you been up to lately, Venti?"

"Quite a lot of typing. I think my fingers are going to fall off. Not to mention I've had a lot of gigs." So he's been busy too. Poor guy.

"And what about you? (Name), you don't overwork yourself..do you?" If I lied to him now, would he believe me?

"I..I'm still trying with the balance.." He looked half-satisfied. But then he smiled. "Oh, really? As long as you don't overwork yourself, that's fine! After today, you can call me anytime~"

"How's the iron infusion going?" He looked to the side as he drank his cocoa.

"It's finished. I'm following protocol with the diet. But the improvement... is minimal."

"At least it's better than nothing, right?" Looks like we'll continue to do our best.

There was a brief silence between us. We were running out of things to talk about. That's what I thought, at least, until Venti tapped me and pointed to a baby in a highchair.

"Look. He's been staring at you for quite a while..." He whispered with a grin.

What..at me? I looked over Venti's shoulders and sure enough, the baby was looking at me. An older man who could be his grandpa was trying to feed him. But the baby was far too distracted by me and didn't turn to his spoon.

His eyes were a warm emerald colour and his hair was very light in contrast to his skin colour.

When we made eye contact, he smiled at me. It felt very familiar. I didn't feel tense at all.

After that, he finally let his grandpa feed him. Normally I had a feeling that children were afraid of me. But this time it was not the case.

"Ahaa..are you hiding something from me?"

"I-idiot..no way!"

Venti turned to the baby and held out his snow-white hand. The child stopped munching on his bib, let it go and tried to reach for his hand instead.

It was an unusual sight in a café, but Venti could make fast friends with anyone. In the next few seconds he squatted in front of the baby chair and held the baby's little hand with a warm smile. The grandpa couldn't help grinning and put the spoon aside. He probably gave up trying to feed his grandchild and watched. He seemed to have said something because Venti turned to him and nodded, then replied.

I was still sitting a little further away, watching in silence as I rested my cheek on my hand. Seeing them interact so familiarly warmed my heart in a way. Yesterday I was a mess and now a joy awakened me.

I know those emerald eyes will not be forgotten.

We paid after a while and left the café.

"You've made a new little friend, I take it?" I said jokingly and put my hands in my jacket pocket.

"You could say that! There's nothing purer than a child's smile and desire. I love them!"

"You're very kind, Venti." It's no wonder no one feels uncomfortable around him.

He smiled at me, which was contagious. But then I had a suspicion.

Venti...could it be that with me he wants a.. no, no. I'm overthinking everything! But come to think of it, he's older than me. You might have different plans after a few years. Besides, he'll be done with his studies very soon.

After all, life comes with responsibilities. Should I take on another responsibility when it comes my way? When it comes upon us.

Maybe one shouldn't always live a blanket life after all. It's what I used to firmly believe in.

"Venti, do you think... that someday..." Oh, it's not easy to ask.

"Yeah?" He bent down to me. I could feel the warmth in my cheeks.

"Forget it! It doesn't matter now."

"Oh, is that so?" He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Then ask me another time~"

Is he trying to tell me that he knows what I wanted to ask? I'm sure he's just pretending! A quirk of his to make me feel uneasy.

"Are you staying at my place tonight?" I didn't see what was stopping me. So I said yes. It's another opportunity to spend time together.

"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

The long bus ride didn't bother us at all. On the contrary, with him, the time passed quickly. This time, I was the one drawing something with my fingers on the fogged windows.

"(Name), can I ask you something?"

"Anytime? Yes."

He then drew with me at the window. A sun.

"Do you..believe in reincarnation?"

"I think so. I'm still very unsure about it." Reincarnation is one thing that has remained unanswered for me until now. But why was he asking me that? Then I remembered that he can start conversations about anything.

"What about you, Venti?"

"I used to be very unsure about it. But for a while now, I've believed in it."

"Only for a while?" I asked, confused. "What made you do it?"

"I'd say... a sudden change of heart. Funny, isn't it?" He leaned his head against me.

"Changes of mind are like swings of emotions for me. At some point you harden up and let it slide."

"Now that you mention it. There were a lot of things I didn't like to accept for some reason. But when you get used to it..." I reflected.

"But you know, I've always believed in incarnation. Even before reincarnation."

It didn't look like Venti was expecting an answer. So I said nothing and painted a face on the sun at the window. But the misting on the window dripped down. Now it looked like the sun was crying with a smile.

When we got out, we went to his house. It was already late and he switched on a lamp. "Shall I turn up the heater?"

"It's okay, I'm not cold. You can leave it off." I then pointed to the embroidery on the living room table.

"Have you got on with it yet? Let me see it."

Excited, I sat with him and he took out the small piece of fabric. A purple flower was visible on it.

"What kind of flower is that?"

"The Hyacinth. But unfortunately you can't see it clearly. I'm not that good. You‘ve got me beat. Look at yours!"

I shook my head with a laugh. "I still can't embroider the rabbits in detail! I'll never get a little pillow like that. Or a tissue..."

"Well, I think you've really improved. If you keep it up, you will!"

I nodded and stroked the small half-finished embroidered fabric.

The purple hyacinth..what does it stand for again?

"Shall we continue? Now that we're at it." He suggested and took a needle in his hand.

We had nothing else to do, so we embroidered together as usual. It was a relaxing hobby for the two of us. Much better than watching TV at my place and making fun of hosts or stupid decisions on blind-date shows. Those were the ones that upset us the most.

A few times my thoughts were interrupted because I pricked my fingers with the needle with my clumsiness. But I didn't prick myself too deeply, which was good. Otherwise he would dramatise and come at me with a first aid kit.

"Listen, about earlier... I wanted to apologise. I forgot that supernatural subjects scare you." Said Venti softly.

"It depends on what kind of subjects..." I corrected, not wanting him to feel guilty.

"(Name), may I ask what exactly are you afraid of?"

What exactly am I afraid of? As soon as night falls and you're alone, I suppose. That's the problem with me.

"During the day, I can work things over just fine. But as soon as it gets dark... then I almost lose control. I can't see anything. I don't know what can suddenly come out of the darkness. And most things... they happen at night. That's how it is in stories. I think that's what it is." I confessed frankly. "And now, add paranormal things."

"I see. Thank you." He says thank you? Now that's an unusual response.

"Uh..here you go." A fitting response for him.

"There's something I actually want to show you." He whispered, lowering the embroidery to his lap and closing his eyes. "But... I don't want to scare you." Is that why he was asking about my fears?

"Why should I be afraid of you? I'm sure you don't want to scare me. What do you want to show me?"

"About this.. I cannot explain to you exactly. But I want to trust you with it!"

"All right... please show me, Venti."

It was something he couldn't show me in his home. He said to me that he should take me for a walk first. In his area, you can see the stars very clearly. The city lights are very far away for that, which makes it possible.

"What about tonight?"

I shook my head. "When I'm outside with you... then I don't feel fear. Only when I'm alone." I then looked at the moon as I walked. Today it was shining brightly and cloudless. We walked along the pebble path. "I find this night particularly beautiful. More beautiful than when I look out of my window. There I only see darkness in the sky."

I put my arms around myself as the wind pulled the cold breeze past us. Then I stopped in front of the forest. If you go deeper in, there's a hill. And far away, you can make out a source of light. That's when you know it's the city. But I've never seen it. Venti has always told me about it. But we never got to go in together.

"You are not alone, I am with you. Please let me show you the background of darkness."

I hesitated and looked at Venti.

"It's like a murder movie, you know."

He sighed and looked to me. "And that's where the problem starts..." I scratched the back of my head, grinning slightly.

"You're right about that. But I trust you." (Name), think of something nice! Otherwise, you'll never make it.

It's a short way, which seemed long to me. He and I walked deeper and deeper through the small forest. But as it turned out, the forest was not so dark. Further back, it was even light.

It was never completely dark. And when I looked up, the sky was still there.

After a few minutes, we arrived at the hill. The view of the city far in the back was actually very wonderful! I don't know if I've ever seen anything so beautiful on a night!

"It's amazing..." I murmured and continued to look.

"Light is stronger than darkness." He said and smiled at me. "Look, you made it! You're here."

I nodded and looked away from him as well. "It's not as bad here as I thought." How could I doubt the night...? Of course, it doesn't mean my fear is completely gone. But a small part..it does. "It's a small step, thank you."

I breathed into my hands to get some warmth off, hence not putting on my gloves.

"Do you come here often?"

"Once in a while, when I need inspiration or to empty my head."

"And what about other people?"

"Unfortunately I'm the only one, I haven't seen anyone else here except myself. But I'm glad you know the place now." He said quietly, looking up at the sky.

Then I remembered that he wanted to show me something. Or was it just this place? Because Venti looked like he had something else in his heart. Something he wants to let go of.

I then turned to him. He was now looking calmly at me. "Was that what you wanted to entrust to me?"

He shook his head. "Not quite. But I think you had a hunch a few times."

"A hunch?" I asked.

"Mmm." He nodded. "Maybe if I show you, it will come back to you?"

"Oh, okay."

He approached me and put his hands down as a sign for me to put my hands on top. When I did so, he held them tightly.

He closed his eyes.

And at that very moment, something happened that I could not explain. Something that no one seems to be able to explain. I couldn't believe my eyes. And I couldn't feel anything else at that moment except the wind.

The wind was getting stronger, but not colder. My whole body warmed up and the branches on the trees rustled louder.

I could have sworn that his eyes lit up slightly when he opened them. His hair swayed and I looked around. He could easily lift himself above the ground, it was as if gravity did not exist.

Then I remembered what he once said:

"With the power of the wind!"

"I only had to swing my arm once and a strong gust of wind can blow everything away. Down to the last lint!"

Wind...

Wind?!

"V-Venti..." I could only get out in a whisper. I couldn't believe anything. What I was seeing wasn't an act.

It was real.

Venti could control the wind.

These thoughts occupied me as we walked back home without words after a while.

He said nothing, I said nothing. It was as if nothing had happened at all.

Words only came when I took off my shoes at his door. Venti beat me to it and walked slowly into the living room. I asked him not to turn on the lights and didn't do it myself. When I entered the living room, he was standing in front of his balcony, which is very wide.

Only the moon gave us light.

I approached Venti and gently put a hand on his right shoulder. After my gesture, he turned to me.

Then he unbuttoned his shirt and I looked at his bare chest where the mark was, which glowed slightly. So it really wasn't a tattoo?

"This..I've always had this." Were the first words he spoke after a while.

I swallowed once. "Do you have any more?" Now my heart was racing as he turned from the balcony again.

"I will show you this one. (Name), are you afraid of me?"

I shook my head.

"You... don't want to go?" He asked in a whisper

"I want to stay with you." I just want to be here, nothing more and no questions asked. What I want now is... to be with him.

At that moment I took him in my arms.

"Please, show me the other m..mar..k..mh."

He released his lips from mine.

"(Name), thank you."

Actually, my heart should be racing again at this moment.

But I felt so numb that the fear and nervousness were not there. We parted our lips, eyes still half open. It was as if time was passing quickly. Although it took a while for us to settle down on the carpet of the living room, not paying attention to other rooms. Probably because there might be an interruption or because it would be uncomfortable. I was already lying face down, hips raised a little.

Small breaths could be heard from him and I pressed my head deeper into the sofa cushion that lay on the floor. I was too embarrassed to look at him. After feeling a slight sting, I clawed my right hand into the fabric of a shirt lying next to the cushions. It was probably his. Maybe it was mine too. But in this darkness, I couldn't really tell. After all, our clothes were somehow spread around us. One could guess what we were doing? Or rather, what we were trying to do.

My unfitting, distracting thoughts about our clothes were interrupted when I felt a stinging sensation inside me again. I pushed a small sound from my lips at that and lifted my head from the pillow.

"H..hyah..!!" It hurts. I don't want to lie. Ahahah..those may not be tears of joy. They're tears of pain. I was about to tell him to go ahead.

Then his grip loosened around my hips, one hand stroked from my hip higher and higher to my head, and with it a slight strand of hair was brushed from my face. He leaned down to me and rested his chin on my shoulder, his chest pressing against my back. I whimpered softly.

"(Name), that hurts you, doesn't it?" A whisper. I swallowed once and nodded, still feeling a little hazy. „Please, try a-again..“ I think right now I started to feel nervous.

"I don't want to stop..not at this moment." I confessed embarrassed, turning my head to the other side, giving him more room to brush his lips against my neck in a comforting way. Wouldn't I feel connected to him then? Now that we came this far..we didn‘t even properly start..

"There's always a next time, agreed? Besides, there are other ways~"

"Other... Ways?" I tried to look over my shoulder at him. But my head isn't that mobile.

Venti slowly detached himself from me and I turned onto my back. In shame, I still hid my bust with my arms. He looked down at me and pouted.

"Exactly! I don't want to cause you any pain." He now had a cat-like grin on his face and put his hand in front of his lips. "Or is (Name) that desperate..?"

I smiled at him instead of being teased. "If you say so." He's right, after all. There are other ways to show your love. Just being with him might be enough. Intimacy... yes. It's not about being intimate only in that way!

I sat up carefully and at that moment he surprised me with a deepening kiss. It felt good to put my arms around him. It soothed me and I had not thought that direct physical contact, skin on skin, could feel like this.

As our kiss ended, I noticed that I could see his face a little more clearly. At first I thought I had got used to the darkness. But it turned out that morning was coming very soon. He seemed to have noticed this and looked towards his balcony. "Oh dear. Have we been up this late?"

"Looks like it."

We looked at each other again and almost snorted. We were aware that we were going to sleep through the morning. So we lay down again. On the carpet, of course.

As long as there were blankets and pillows, we didn't mind sleeping on the floor. It was surprisingly not uncomfortable. He pulled the blanket over us and intertwined one hand with mine.

"You know...I'm relieved we didn't..“ I murmured.

He looked at me innocently. I sighed.

"I didn't..prepare anything." I managed to get out awkwardly. He blinked a few times. Then his face changed to one of realisation. You could read the "Oh!" clearly from his expression. Then his eyes sparkled with excitement. Before he could say anything, I interrupted him.

"Hey. Just.. don't comment." My cheeks grew warm and I stared at the ceiling. Never would I have thought of not thinking of risks.

He chuckled softly. "I'll see you at noon then?" He then asked with his eyes closed.

"A new way of saying goodnight?" Maybe it was too late to say goodnight now. And a good morning didn't sound any better.

"You could say that."

"I'll see you at noon then, Venti."

But as it turned out, I was the one who fell asleep. What I didn't know was that Venti was still awake, brushing little strands of hair out of my face.

Then he looked at the window with an unreadable look.

"I am very sorry, (Name)." He murmured softly to himself.

Masterlist

Part 12

#no talk to me I‘m embarrassed #:D #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #romance #fanfic #venti x reader #love #mentions of nudity #kisses #kissing venti #risk #suggestive content #big reveal #lime #venti x reader lime #guys I wrote IT

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