#I really went ham on this one and I am living

[barcaatthemoon]

passenger princess || mackenzie arnold x reader ||

sometimes, you wish that mackenzie would let you drive.

"come on, we're gonna be late!" you shouted at mackenzie. the two of you both had media to do, and mackenzie had taken all morning getting ready. you thought that she looked absolutely stunning, but you didn't want to get yelled at for missing your required media.

"your chariot awaits," mackenzie said as she opened the passenger's side door for you.

"mac, babe, i love you, but i think that i should drive today," you tried to tell her. it was really no use because mackenzie obviously didn't want to listen. she always got like this whenever you suggested driving the two of you somewhere.

you had grown up in the city, and while mackenzie had been there for a good amount of time, she wasn't a local. mackenzie didn't know all of the shortcuts and side roads that would cut your travel time down by a third. and so, the two of you truged into the training facilities about 10 minutes late.

"sorry boss, traffic was horrible." mackenzie was quick to diffuse your coach and the media team's ire towards the two of you. they didn't seem too annoyed with mackenzie, but that same courtesy wasn't extended towards you. mac was their world class goalkeeper, and you were just another midfielder that they had gotten cheap. you had come up with a team that had come up during a relegation swap. whenever they went right back down the next season, you had joined west ham instead.

"we could have gotten here sooner if someone would have let me drive," you said. a few of your teammates started snickering behind you, as did mackenzie. you turned to glare at all of them, but the look that you sent your girlfriend was a bit more hurt.

"don't take it personally babe, but you're just not the driving type. you look too pretty in my passenger's seat." mackenzie was trying to be sweet, but it didn't work. she placed her fingers underneath your chin to tilt it up and kiss you, but you turned your face at the last second. a chorus of 'ooo's rang out from your teammates as you stormed out of the locker room.

the media bit was a little intense after that. mackenzie had only been joking, and her attempt at an apology had been brushed off. she didn't mean to upset you. driving wasn't something that she thought would be such a big deal for the two of you. she just liked doing things for you, and since you were normally very independent, this was one of the few things she had the opportunity to even attempt.

"are you ready to go back home?" mackenzie asked as the two of you made your way towards the parking lot.

"i'm not going home with you tonight," you told her. mackenzie's face fell immediately at the news. you hadn't been back to your apartment in two months, having stayed at mackenzie's. your lease was going to be up soon, and your roommate was in talks with a new transfer about moving in. however, you still had a couple of weeks before that happened.

"no!" mackenzie shouted. you winced at the loudness in such a close proximity. mackenzie's face softened a bit as she grabbed you by the arm and tugged you towards the car. "you don't live there, you live with me. we always go home together, you know this. did what i say really upset you this much?"

"it's not just the passenger princess jokes, mac. it's also not just you. i don't want all the girls and the staff to think that i can't do anything for myself. you don't hear all the jokes and comments. i swear that some of them think i can't do anything for myself." mackenzie's face fell as she saw how genuinely worked up you were getting over this. it went a lot further than she had known, and suddenly, mackenzie felt absolutely terrible that you'd been holding in these feelings for so long by yourself.

"hey, (y/n), look at me." mackenzie grabbed your face and leaned in close enough for you to feel her breath against your cheek. "i am sorry for making you feel bad. i am sorry for letting things get so out of hand. i know that you're independent. hell, you do practically everything for me, and driving you around, it feels like the only thing i can offer to help you out. if you want to drive us back, you can, just please come home with me. i don't want to spend a single night without you if i don't have to."

"mac, baby?"

"yeah?" mackenzie seemed scared, as if you were going to tell her that you still wanted to go back to your own apartment. a night in with mackenzie, even whenever you were mad at her, was better than a night in with your roommate any day.

"take me home," you told her. mackenzie's shoulders sagged down a little with relief. you pressed a quick kiss to her lips and threaded your fingers with hers. the two of you walked through the parking lot together towards mackenzie's car. she got the door for you, absolutely beaming when you kissed her cheek in thanks. "can we stop by tesco's on the way home?"

"of course. i'll take you anywhere you want to go." mackenzie grabbed onto your hand and kissed the back of it. you let out a little giggle and settled back into your seat. there wasn't any tension in the car, which you were beyond grateful for.

mackenzie pushed the cart for you in the store, following as you walked around picking out seemingly random things. some of it was groceries that you had noticed earlier needed to be replenished, but quite a bit of the things you were buying weren't things that you normally bought at all. mackenzie didn't bring it up, assuming that it was for some sort of surprise at home.

"can i get some assistance from my favorite sous chef?" you asked mackenzie. she looked up from the couch to see you standing in the entryway of the kitchen holding an apron that you had bought her as a joke. mackenzie could cook, but she rarely did outside of using the grill every other weekend during the summer months.

"i don't know what you're making," mackenzie told you. you brushed it off and helped her into the apron. you gave very clear directions and within the hour, you had a homemade sauce simmering for a spaghetti night.

"how does it taste?" you watched nervously as mackenzie tasted a bit of the sauce.

"if football doesn't work out, you should open a restaurant," mackenzie told you. you moved to press a kiss to her cheek as thanks, unsurprised when mackenzie turned so your lips landed on hers. her hands grabbed at your waist, squeezing gently as she deepened the kiss. "better yet, i'll keep you on as my personal chef. and i can be your chauffeur if you'd like."

"sounds good to me. now, go set the table, the food is almost ready." you gave mackenzie a gentle shove away from you. mackenzie blew you a kiss as she carried the plates and silverware out to the dining room table. mackenzie sat excitedly at the table when you got out there, right next to the place that she set for you. she spent the whole meal practically just staring at you, often to the point of spilling a bit of her sauce on herself every other bite. it was ridiculous, but another reminder of why it was so easy to love mackenzie sometimes.

[pinkanonwrites]

Leona getting locked out of his dorm on a rainy day or Ultra Magnus reprimanding Rodimus for his seventh missing report that was due orns ago

I went with Leona getting locked out of his room on a rainy day because, well, it was really funny to me!

"I'm home!.....? Hi, 'boyfriend who doesn't live here.'"

Leona lifted his head up from the living room sofa, blinking sleepily at you. You forced the front door shut with your foot, shifting your weight to heft the grocery bags further up your hips and keep everything from crashing to the floor.

"Put those on the kitchen table, Ruggie'll take care of them."

"And why, pray tell, is Ruggie also in my house?"

"Who do you think picked the lock?"

"Touché." Making your way to the kitchen, you found Ruggie standing in front of your stove, wearing your apron, frying your fancy ham that you bought only for your favorite sandwiches. He perked up as you entered, nearly pouncing upon your groceries the moment you set them down.

"Finally! Yer out of eggs, y'know."

"Hey 'boyfriend's gofer who also doesn't live here.' What the hell are you two doing in Ramshackle? And why are you eating my food?"

"Relaaaaax! Just ask Leona about it, he'll pay you back." He seamlessly cracked two eggs in one hand, dropping them into a second pan on the stovetop and chucking the shells in the trash. "One of the first-years went home for winter break, and his little sister had..." Ruggie paused, a visible shudder crawling up his spine. "Fleas. Brought 'em back on accident, so now we gotta evac while the profs' smoke 'em out. Just be thankful we didn't bring half of the dorm with us. Leona wanted his 'beauty rest.'"

You made a sympathetic, yet disgusted noise in the back of your throat. "Bummer. Where's Jack?"

"Bunking with Epel for a bit. Apparently Vil already went over him with a fine-toothed comb."

You snorted at the mental image of Vil manhandling the first-year into a medicated bath. "Alright, you better make enough for four though. Maybe five, considering Grim and Leona's appetites. I'm gonna start on my homework."

"Save it." You startled as Leona appeared silently behind you, draping his weight across your shoulders. "I've had a long day. Too long. Need my stress ball for a bit." He gave you a warning squeeze.

"Am I your stress ball or your body pillow?"

"Gross."

"Zip it, Ruggie." Leona muttered, already dragging you away back to the sofa.

'Wait! Let me at least get my textbook first! Leona!"

"Well shit, looks like gravity is increasing on me. We may not even make it back. Guess we just gotta lay here."

"LEONA!"

[istormortis]

Kindof went ham on him but he's one of the main characters of the AU so why not :3c So went down the rabbit hole with this one and pulled my inspiration from a couple of sources, mainly from two artists on twitter that I stumbled across and wanted to expand on it further plus the original story for Obanai in KNY.

Initial design is based off of the first halloween set with Obanai and the large cobra art (2019/2020 set?) - my style is going in twenty directions and I am sorry orz

SHINOBU | TENGEN | KYOJURO | MITSURI | SANEMI | GIYUU MORE UNDER CUT~

Obanai was living his life easily as a snake demon, usually in the noodle form or a humanoid appearance until humans had seen him and thought he was some poor soul that was possessed so they tried to do an exorcism on him to rid of the demon in him. Unfortunately due to their limited knowledge they were unsuccessful and instead fractured his soul into two, leaving a raw side of him and the side that is often presented. At night he is cursed with Ianabi's presence, which emerges from his back. At first Ianabi retained a snake form but overtime his ire/anger towards people has grown and he's formed a human version of himself (hence why he's similar to what he looked like as a child + snake demon woman his family worshiped in the orig. story). He cannot move far from Obanai's body and at most is stuck in a room with him due to that he's a danger to other people and most importantly himself (whatever happens to one happens to the other).

When Ianabi (name given to by Kyojuro, Obanai backwards but with an 'i' instead of 'o') emerges, the color fades from Obanai's body and shifts to the other which often leaves him white haired and teal-eyed. Kyojuro and the others have tried to help, but Obanai has accepted that he's forever cursed until he's run into Mitsuri who wants to try and help them. She tries to be friendly to Ianabi but due to Obanai's general distrust and raw emotion its making it difficult for Mitsuri to win Ianabi /Obanai over though she is have much better luck than the others.

During the day while its Obanai, he is less likely to have moments of raw emotion/reactions but it can happen when he looses his temper and at times can lash out. When at night and the two parts of his soul are separated he's reserved and quiet, hiding away while Ianabi acts as a guard until morning. Tl;DR - Ianabi is a physical manifestation of Obanai's distrust and anger towards life and people. It's his ugly side that would be a metaphor but has become a physical representation of himself that slowly grows stronger the longer his soul remains broken.

For the artist credits there's two! hotlemon17 - for they were the ones that did the white haired Obanai and I was like!! YES he looks nice with white hair so I wanted to draw him with that gogo_washiya - For their comic that had Obanai and Mitsuri meeting, and at night is when the giant snake on his back emerges and I really liked that idea so that was the spur of inspiration for this portrayal

[bqstqnbruin]

Forget About Us

Hello this is my first fic in like almost 6 months inspired by Forget About Us by Perrie Edwards

Thanks to my loves @nicohischier @assmanselke and @matthewtkachuk for yelling at me and letting me yell about this fic :)

Summary: Carson meets Jack, Jack falls for Carson, Carson does what she wants.

Word count: 7.4k

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, aNGST

Flashbacks are in italics. Also, I swear I read through this more than once but there might be errors unintentionally 😬

_________________________________________

Looking up into the stands, every game he plays in this city, he’s looking for her. He had been doing it for the past few years, always expecting to see her.

___________________________

“Can you stop pouting? We’re going to go out after the game,” Morgan begs. 

“I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to be here or anywhere else besides my bed.” 

Morgan rolls her eyes, sitting down in her seat. “Carson, you never go out.”

“Because I never want to go out,” she repeats. “I don’t have the money to go out.” 

“The tickets were free from my job and I told you I would pay for your drinks tonight.” 

“I don’t feel good,” Carson whines, knowing that it still wouldn’t be enough. 

“You’re fine.”

“I’m on my period.”

“So am I, what’s your point?”

“Your period doesn’t make you double over in pain for three days.”

“This is the fourth day of your period when you have told me you always feel fine. And your period has been regular since you were fifteen when you went on birth control.”

“I don’t like that you know that.”

“Then maybe don’t tell me the same thing like a broken record every month?” Carson continues to pout, even though her friend is right. “Do you really not want to be here? We can leave after the first period if you really aren’t having fun. But, you do keep telling me you’ve been wanting to come to a game since we moved here.”

“No,” she drags out. “I just had a bad day at work.”

“What happened?”

The teams start coming out onto the ice for warm-ups, everyone booing the away team. It made no sense. They weren’t even actual rivals. The other team, from Carson’s understanding, was so inconsequential that they shouldn’t even matter. But who was she to argue? 

“Anthony came by work today.” 

“Anthony? Like Anthony, your ex, Anthony?”

“No, Anthony Michael Hall from The Breakfast Club.”

“What did he say?”

She and Morgan had this same conversation every week. “He wants to get back together.”

“And you told him, ‘no,’ right?”

“I’m grumpy, not stupid.” 

Morgan sighs. Anthony kept showing up at the cafe Carson worked at between classes to ask for her back for the last month. He didn’t seem to care about the fact that they wanted wildly different things in their lives and that they weren’t going to work. Carson wanted to get her JD and leave New Jersey for good. She was tired of the debate over whether or not the central part of the state existed, if it was called Taylor Ham or Pork Roll, and which beach down the shore was the best. She wanted out as soon as possible, and Anthony wanted to stay here and settle down. He wanted someone who wanted to be at home with the kids, which Carson really didn’t want. The only way she could think about staying in New Jersey was if her partner wanted everything else she wanted. Whoever she ended up with had to be everything else to her. Anthony wasn’t it.

Morgan slowly forms a smile on her face, one that immediately makes Carson panic. “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t do it.”

“Who said I’m going to do something that you’ll hate?”

“Every past action that you’ve done without talking to me about it first says you’re going to do something I’m going to end up hating.” 

Morgan rolls her eyes, pulling out her wallet and handing Carson her debit card. “Here, you go get us beer and pizza so that way you don’t have to see what I’m about to do.” Carson sits there, Morgan shoving the card into her hands. “Go.” 

Both of them get up from their seats, Carson feeling a sense of panic as she watches her roommate go down to the ice while typing furiously on her phone. Carson tries to get back to their seats as fast as she can, worried about what antics she was about to be dragged into. She wanted to be home early that night so she could start studying for one of her exams that week. She did not have time to do whatever it was that Morgan was planning to do. 

“Here,” Morgan hands her something as she sits back down, Carson still trying to figure out how to balance two overflowing drinks and two slices of pizza larger than her own head. “I got this for you.”

“You got me a puck?” 

“Yes.”

“Ok?”

“You could say thank you.”

“Thank you for a piece of rubber that could probably break a bone if you get hit with it hard enough.”

“You’ll get the rest of what I got you tonight.”

“I swear to god,” Carson starts. “I’m not god, but I am close to a goddess.”

Carson groans, trying to focus on anything other than the terror that she was sure was about to come to her tonight. One of the players kept looking up at her, over his shoulder and seemingly ignoring his teammates. “What did you do?”

Morgan shrugs, nudging Carson’s shoulder as she waves at the player. “His name is Jack.”

“Just because I’m studying law, that doesn’t mean I’m above breaking at least one of them.” 

“Yes, it does.” 

The game starts, Carson’s eyes staying on the one player who had been watching her before. He gave her the vibes of someone who would end up naked and drunk in the hallway of her dorm in college, passed out and unsure of where his pants or keys were. 

“He’s cute, isn’t he?” Morgan asks once the second period starts. 

Carson doesn’t make a noise, just nodding. He was the exact type of mistake she would make on a night out when she needed to forget about something. “Why does he keep staring?”

“Probably for the same reason you’re staring at him even if you do look like you want to kill him.” Carson turns to glare at Morgan. “I’m just saying, you might be hot, but you also look like you could commit a felony right now.” 

Carson sighs, waiting for the end of the game. She had no idea what was going on, but Morgan seemed to be into it at least. 

Carson lets out a yawn as the fans start to file out of the arena, Morgan dragging her along behind her. “Can we please just go home?” 

“No, I have a surprise for you.”

“Last time you had a surprise for me, I ended up needing three of my tires replaced.”

“And they gave you the fourth one for free, anyway,” Morgan grabs Carson’s hand, pulling her in the direction of some bar she wouldn’t remember the name of in the morning.

Carson knew that no matter how much she complained to Morgan, her friend would have something to counter every whine. They had lived together all four years of college before finally somehow scraping together enough money to each get their own places, despite the fact that they were still neighbors in their apartment building. Morgan, unfortunately, could get Carson to do anything she asked her to since she knew exactly how to make it so Carson wouldn’t say no. Most of the time, it involved physically dragging Carson places, like she was doing right now, but it always somehow worked.

“I’m paying for drinks,” Morgan tells her, dropping Carson’s hand as they two walk into the unreasonably crowded and slightly smelly bar. 

“Yeah, like that was in question,” Carson tells her. 

“You go sit down, I’ll find you.” 

Morgan leaves Carson alone. The scene around her made her want to run away, except for the fact that Morgan could track her location and would not be above chasing her down the street and dragging her back to the bar. Everyone seemed like they were five drinks in, Carson feeling anxious about being what seemed to be the only sober person around. 

“You ok?” a voice comes behind her, snapping her out of her potential spiral. She turns around, the guy from the game standing in front of her. 

“This isn’t real,” she mutters, shaking her head. How the hell did Morgan manage this? 

“What?” the guy asks, understandably confused.

“Sorry,” Carson says. “I mean, yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.” 

“I’m dehydrated.”

“Can I get you water, then?”

“No.”

“But, wouldn’t that help with the dehydration thing?”

Carson stares at him, dumbfounded. “I can get water myself,” she says, her tone a little harsher than she intended it to be. 

“I’m Jack,” he introduces himself, not getting the message at all. 

“That’s nice.” 

“Do you have a name?”

“No, that spot on my birth certificate has been blank for the last twenty four years. Everyone calls me whatever nickname they can think of. The current one is ‘Maverick.’” 

Jack opens his mouth to say something, Morgan appearing in between them before he can get a word in. “You actually came!”

“How could I pass up coming to meet someone as sweet as your friend here after the game?”

Carson barely knew him, but she already knew he would be a thorne in her side. 

“She’s already been mean to you, hasn’t she?” Morgan laughs, finally handing Carson the drink she got for her. 

“Hey,” Carson tries to protest, despite both of them ignoring her. 

“It’s fine. It’s kinda hot,” he smirks, staring at Carson. She didn’t care that she couldn’t help but stare back, her cheeks bright red at his words.

___________________________

She always sat in the same general area, a few rows from the top of the section right behind their bench. It was easy to find her. How could he not at least try?

___________________________

“Why are you anxious?” Morgan asks, plopping down on Carson’s couch.

“Who said I was anxious?”

“You’re scrunchie.”

“What could that possibly mean?”

“You’re scrunching your brow so much and frowning so hard that you have wifi symbols showing on your face. You only do that when you’re anxious.” 

“Please don’t say that to me ever again.” Carson lets out a sigh. She shouldn’t be anxious. She’s done things that were so much more difficult than this. She graduated with a 4.0 GPA in high school and college. She participated in every possible extra curricular that she could, and did so perfectly. She had her life scheduled down to the minute, when she would study, eat, have free time. She didn’t have time to be anxious. “Jack is supposed to be here any minute.”

Morgan lets out a squeal so high that Carson covers her ears. “You’re finally going on a date with him?” 

“If you want to call it that.” 

“Tell me everything,” Morgan says, plopping herself at Carson’s feet.

“No.” 

“Carson,” Morgan whines.

“Morgan,” Carson counters. “I don’t even know where we’re going. From what it sounds like, it’s not even going to be just us, it’s something with the team.”

“He’s taking you to meet the rest of his team?” she yells. 

“If you get that loud again, I’m throwing you out the window.”

“We both know your window doesn’t open far enough for me to get out of it, we’ve tried. Anyway,” Morgan continues, ignoring Carson’s annoyance, as usual. “That means something if he already wants you to know his teammates.”

“It means he already had plans with them when he asked me to go out with him and is dragging me somewhere I wasn’t otherwise invited.” 

“You could be positive sometimes, you know.”

“There’s no fun in that.” 

“Carse,” Morgan says, “He wouldn’t be inviting you if he didn’t like you. He wouldn’t have been texting you every waking moment that he could if he didn’t like you.” 

“It’s kind of annoying.” 

“That’s because you are a black hole personified and he’s the human equivalent of a dumb puppy.” 

Carson scrunches her face while she looks at her friend. “That’s mean.” 

“I’m trying to say that you two are different. And that’s ok. He’s more extroverted than you are. You’re still going to have fun because you’re going to be with him.” Carson looks at her, unsure. “If you’re not fine, I have your location and I will come join you guys, or come pick you up.” 

“Why am I nervous?”

“Probably because this is the first guy you’re going out with that doesn’t look like a dead baby bird.”

“Sometimes, inside thoughts can stay inside.” 

“My point,” Morgan starts, pulling Carson up to lead her out the door, “Is that he’s not your normal type and you don’t know what to do, so you’re panicking. But, again, you’ll be fine.”

Before Carson could say anything else, a knock came from the other side of her door. Morgan opens it, Jack standing there with his hands in his jeans pocket. 

“Wow,” Morgan verbalizes what Carson was thinking as she tries not to ogle at Jack. His jeans fit him way more perfectly than she would have liked, the t-shirt he had on showing off his arms in a way that made her feel like she was actually about to start drooling. For fucks sake.

“I think Carson is supposed to say that,” Jack jokes, leaning against the door frame. 

“Jesus Christ,” Carson groans, Morgan laughing as she pushes her way past Jack to head back to her place.

“Actually, they call me Jack.” 

“If you keep this up all night, I’m not leaving this apartment.”

“Is this your way of asking me to come in?”

“Absolutely not. We’re going now to meet your friends or you’re going by yourself.” 

Carson didn’t see Jack physically swoon at Carson as she walked past him, a stupid grin on his face as he watched her walk away from him. 

___________________________

Morgan was sitting next to her, the two of them seeing less of each other now that they didn’t live with or next to each other anymore. Carson was laughing at something Morgan was telling her, the smile on her face reaching her eyes. 

___________________________

“What are you doing right now?”

Carson groaned, knowing that any time Jack was asking her to do something lately, it was to pull her away from something she actually had to get done. “Studying.”

“When’s the test?”

“Next week.”

“Come out with me.”

“No.”

“I’m picking you up, I’m turning onto your street now.”

Jack hangs up before Carson can protest, her immediately texting Morgan to tell her she was being kidnapped.

‘You aren’t being kidnapped, you aren’t a kid.’

‘Kidnapping is anytime a person’s liberty is restrained by force and taken to another location.’

Before Morgan could text back, Jack was knocking at her door.

“I’m not going.” 

“Come on. Half an hour?” he begs her. Carson glares at him. “I’ll buy ice cream.”

“I’m lactose intolerant.”

“Says that three cheese pizza you downed the other night.” Carson continues to glare at him. “Please? I’m leaving tomorrow for a week and a half. It’ll be the last time I can bother you until then.”

Carson rolls her eyes, shutting her textbook with her highlighter keeping her page like a bookmark. “I’m studying in the car.” Jack smiles at her, holding his hand out for her. Carson smirks, grabbing another book from her table and putting it in his hands instead. 

Jack runs to follow her, his free hand on the small of her back, a smile on his face as she didn’t fight it. They get in his car, the windows down and the radio blasting as he peels away from where he was parked. 

Jack starts talking, Carson not listening in the slightest as she continues to read the book in her lap, just like she promised. 

“Wait, shut up,” Carson finally says, reaching over to turn up the music that was already loud. “I love this song.”

Jack laughs, glancing at her as he pulls up to a stop light. “Seriously? 1985 by Bowling for Soup?”

“My childhood best friend and I would listen to this song all the time growing up,” Carson explains,the smile on her face something Jack rarely got to see but loved every time. Jack’s smile mirrored hers as she started to sing along. He couldn’t help but laugh again as he listened to her. “What?”

“You are a horrible singer.”

“Yeah, because you would be better,” she snides, looking back at her book.

“Oh, of course I would be,” he says, starting to sing along with her. 

Carson cackles, a sound Jack had never heard from her before. “You are just as bad as I am.”

___________________________

He thought of her whenever that song played, his heart beating faster every time the opening guitar riff played through whatever speaker he was near. He never purposefully listened to that song. The song never played in any of the arenas they played in, except for Rogers Arena, like it was now.

___________________________

“What do you mean, ‘we’re going out tonight?’” Carson groans.

“You just finished finals, Quinn is in town, and we’re heading down the shore for the weekend.” 

“So I have to pack for a whole weekend?” 

“Unless you plan on wearing the same thing for four days, I suggest you do,” Jack says, Morgan laying on Carson’s bed laughing.

“I wish you were helpful,” Carson says, throwing a shirt at Morgan. “I’m not here to be helpful, I’m here to be comic relief.” 

“Then you should try being funny sometimes.” 

Jack laughs, his phone buzzing with a call. “I’ll be right back,” he says, getting up and answering it out of Carson’s room.

Once he was out of earshot, Morgan sits up, a giddy look on her face that caused a pit to form in Carson’s stomach. “You’re going away with him for a weekend!” Carson grimaces. “You aren’t excited?”

Carson sighs, getting up to close her door so Jack can’t hear them. “I think he wants more from whatever this is than I do.”

“What do you mean?” Morgan whispers.

“I can’t see a relationship with him.”

“Carse, he’s perfect.”

“He kind of is. Which is why I don’t see it. Anthony was perfect.”

“No, Anthony was the human equivalent of a stale ham sandwich who, if brains were money, wouldn’t have been able to buy a cup of coffee.”

“Go eat something.”

“What?”

“Your metaphors turn food related when you’re hungry.”

“My point is,” Morgan says, getting up. “Anthony is not Jack. Don’t ruin something before it starts because of something that happened with someone else.” “Hey,” Jack says, startling both of them. “Sorry, Luke was asking if we were on his way to pick him up. Are we ready to head out?” 

___________________________

He was so busy staring at her that he didn’t realize that Luke had skated up to his side.

“You didn’t know she’d be here?” Jack shakes his head. “Quinn doesn’t know you still love her?”

He shakes his head.

___________________________

Carson hated to admit it, but she was having a good time. She hated to admit that she needed to relax, especially after the intensity that she had when she was taking finals. They were sitting around a fire one of them had set up on the beach, the smell of smoke hitting Carson right in the face, the night air starting to chill around them. The guys were all laughing, their partners sitting in their laps as a few of them fell asleep. 

“Where’s Quinn?” Luke leans over Carson to ask Jack.

“You have his location,” Carson says before Jack can answer. The brothers keep anticipating Quinn with every new person that shows up, their usually prompt brother still MIA.

“I don’t know where my phone is.”

“What’s that in your left hand, bud?” 

“Right,” Luke draws out as Carson and Jack both laugh at him. “He’s supposed to be here any minute.” 

Luke gets up to head back to the house for what he claims is to use the bathroom. “He hasn’t been drunk in a while. He gets dumber as he drinks,” Jack tells her. 

Carson checks the can of beer he left behind. “Isn’t this his first drink of the night?”

“Yeah, why?”

“This can is still full.”

“He might just be dumb.” 

“Bold of you to call someone else dumb,” an unfamiliar voice comes from behind their circle around the fire. 

“I was just about to say that,” Carson says to the guy who must be Quinn, given how much he looks like his brother. 

“God, I never realized there’s two of you,” Jack says to Quinn, the color draining from his face.

“I don’t think you’d survive with two of me,” Carson says, Jack mumbling something about going to the house for a minute as he gets up, a smile on his face anyway.

“So, you must be Carson?” Quinn asks her.

“What was your first clue?” she tries to flirt, taking a sip of her drink while maintaining eye contact with him. She knew that Jack was cute, but there was something different about Quinn. She and Jack were opposites. She and Quinn were the same. 

___________________________

He still loved the way she looked in that old hoodie that she stole, the team logo faded and cut through, the number that was supposed to be the right side of her chest gone. He remembered when she stole that, the way her eyes lit up the first time he saw her in it as she told him she liked that she could wear it while he was traveling and he would still be with her. 

___________________________

“Who’s picking up Carson?” Ellen yells up the stairs. 

“I am,” Quinn and Jack both called at the same time, Jack’s mind running wild at the fact that his brother answered with him. Since meeting Quinn a few weeks ago, Carson had been mentioning him a lot more in their conversations. He shouldn’t be bothered by it. They never actually established that they were dating. Sure, they had hooked up, and sure, it was all Jack could think about since, but they were never dating.

He wasn’t Carson’s boyfriend. 

“We both are,” Jack amends, running down the stairs when he hears Quinn do the same. 

The brothers get in Quinn’s car, a smile across Quinn’s face while Jack can feel himself start to panic. “So, you’re excited to see Carson?”

“Yeah,” Quinn lets out. “I’ve missed Car.”

“Car?”

“That’s what I call her sometimes, yeah.”

“Doesn’t everyone else call her ‘Carse’ if they don’t call her Carson?”

Quinn laughs. “She said she likes when I call her ‘Car,’ instead.” Quinn keeps talking the rest of the way to the airport, both boys getting a text from her saying that she had just landed. 

Neither boy had seen Carson in weeks, but it seemed like she had been talking to Quinn much more than she had been talking to Quinn.

Quinn pulls up to the airport, both boys getting out to go find the girl they wanted to see. Jack felt like he was racing Quinn to get to her first, Quinn having no idea what was going on in Jack’s head.

They get inside, both of them looking for her. 

“Thanks for introducing us, by the way,” Quinn says, breaking the silence between them. 

“What?”

“Me and Carson. When you told me I’d love her, I didn’t realize how right you’d be.” 

Jack swallows, the pit in his stomach making him feel like he wanted to throw up. Quinn couldn’t love Carson the way Jack did.

The way Jack did?

Jack spots her first, shaking his head of the thought of loving her when he sees the Canucks sweatshirt with 43 on it hanging on her body. Jack looks at Quinn, Quinn’s favorite sweatshirt on the girl Jack wanted to be with. 

Carson spots them, a smile on her face as she runs towards them, her suitcase clumsily trailing behind her. She lets go of her suitcase, it rolling towards Jack as she runs into Quinn’s arms, acting as if Jack wasn’t there to begin with.

___________________________

Morgan says one last thing to Carson, heading back towards the concessions, probably to get them drinks. Knowing Carson, she was out with Morgan on the condition that she didn’t have to pay for drinks. Jack couldn’t help but laugh to himself, Luke giving him a strange look while he stood there, lost in thought. 

___________________________

Why would Carson want to be out right now?

She wouldn’t want to. 

So why was she out right now at a bar that was way too loud, smelled incredibly bad, and was so crowded she could barely move a muscle without hitting another person?

Morgan.

Well, and Jack.

But, mostly Morgan. 

“I hate you for this,” she yelled over whatever music was playing. 

“No, you don’t,” Morgan and Jack say at the same time, both of them laughing despite Carson sending both of them a death stare.

“You haven’t been out of your apartment in, like, two months,” Jack says as Morgan walks away to get another drink

“We went to get coffee together four times this week,” Carson rebuttes, her phone in her hand lighting up with a text from Quinn.

She couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his name, not paying attention to the clear awkwardness that Jack felt when he saw his own brother’s name on her phone. She loved texting him, talking with him every free minute the two of them had. She was falling for him, and she was falling for him fast. 

Quinn loved that she was a lawyer, that she was passionate about helping people, he respected all of her decisions when it came to her uncertainty with her future. He made her laugh, he constantly made sure that she was ok and genuinely showed he cared about her.

He was everything he wanted in a guy, except that he was on the other side of the continent. 

“What’s Vancouver like?” she asks Jack, again having to yell over the noise.

Jack shrugs, “It seems a lot like New Jersey, honestly. I’m never there long enough to find out.” 

Could she see herself in Vancouver? She had looked into it, she just had to take another exam and be approved by their judicial system and she would be ok to practice law. 

Quinn had officially asked her to be his girlfriend when she went to visit the boys a few weeks ago. She wasn’t sure if Jack knew yet.

“I’m going to get another drink, do you want anything?” she asks, elbowing her way back to the bar when he says he’s fine.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” she hears from behind her once she orders her drink. She turns around, trying not to audibly groan.

“Anthony.”

“How are you Carse?”

“Fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Do I need to give more?”

“Well, it’s a genuine question.”

“‘Fine’ is a genuine answer. What do you want, Anthony?”

“When can we get back together?”

Carson scoffs, the bartender handing her her drink that she was now tempted to throw in his face. “We’re not.”

“Come on, Carse,” he says, taking a step toward her, his hand trailing down her arm. “We had so much fun together. Why do we want to throw all that away?”

“I have a boyfriend, Anthony.”

“I don’t see him.”

Before Carson could answer, she feels Jack come up behind her, thankful that it was him and not some other stranger. “Babe, I told you, I was paying for drinks tonight.”

Carson looks up at him, turning toward him so Anthony couldn’t see her mouth a quick ‘thank you,’ to him. “I put it on your tab, don’t worry,” she turns back to Anthony, the smile on her face because of the stupid look on his face. “Anthony, meet my boyfriend, Jack.”

Anthony mumbles something, walking away before either of them could say anything else. 

“I owe you,” Carson says once Anthony is far enough away neither of them could see him.

“Well, drinks are on me tonight,” he says, earning a laugh from her. “Nice job, lying about the boyfriend thing. Think we’ll have to keep it up until we leave?”

Carson laughs again. “I wasn’t lying about having a boyfriend.”

“What?” Jack asks, Carson not noticing the panic on his face.

“Quinn asked me to be his girlfriend.” 

Before Jack can respond, Morgan runs over, squealing something about how their song was playing and that they just had to go dance. Carson quickly hands her drink to Jack, running off with her friend.

Jack downs the drink, ordering another. 

His brother got the girl.

___________________________

He sees Carson waving to someone down on the ice, his heart racing in the worst way because he knew it wasn’t to him. Jack followed her gaze to Quinn, who was waving back at her, a smile on his face while he was on the ice when he was notorious for looking like he was having an existential crisis all the time. He should hate the guy who got to love the girl he wanted to be with. But how could he hate his brother? 

___________________________

“You’re what?”

“I’m moving to Vancouver.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I’m coming, too.”

“No you aren’t.”

“I can’t live without you.”

“Morgan,” Carson whines, “You’re going to be fine.”

Morgan groans, rolling her eyes. “I’m being dramatic, let me mourn.” The girls laugh, Carson getting up to grab a drink. “So, you and Quinn are actually serious?”

“Yeah, I mean, we have to be if I’m willing to move across the continent and to another country.”

“Are you going to be able to practice law?”

Before Carson can answer, a knock at her doors follows with someone walking in.

“Are you a murderer?” Morgan yells to the stranger from Carson’s kitchen, prompting Carson to roll her eyes.

“Definitely,” Jack says, appearing in the doorway. “I got us dinner,” he says, holding up a bag. “What are we talking about?”

“If Carson can practice law or not.”

Jack laughs, setting down the food. “How did you manage to get disbarred already? You passed like three months ago.” 

“I shot a man in Reno,” Carson deadpans. “I didn’t get disbarred. I’m just,” she hesitates, knowing that telling the two people who were her best friends was going to be the hardest. “I’m moving.”

Jack’s attention snaps to Carson, a look of panic on his face. “Where?”

“She’s moving in with Quinn.”

“You’re moving to Vancouver?”

“Yeah. Quinn asked me last week to move out there with him, and I told him yes today.” 

Jack didn’t hear anything else while the three of them sat at Carson’s table and ate the food Jack brought. She would be able to practice law in Canada with a few more steps to get there, she would be living with Quinn.

She would be away from Jack. 

She would never be with Jack. 

___________________________

He could see the engagement ring on her finger from here, the sapphire in the middle catching the light in just the right way. His mother had their grandmother’s engagement ring, something much more simple, that had been intended for whichever boy wanted to give it to their future partner. Jack didn’t want to give it to anyone. He knew that their grandmother’s ring was picked for their grandmother. He wanted to give his person a ring meant for them. He wanted to give a ring he knew would suit her and would make her think of him whenever she looked at it. That’s why he and Quinn had helped the jeweler design it in the first place. It had to be made for her.

___________________________

Quinn had texted in the family group chat that the ring was ready and that he was picking it up from the jeweler that day after practice.

Everyone in the family congratulated him, his mom gushing about how excited she was to have a daughter, and how happy she was that it was Carson. His dad talked about how he was glad Quinn found someone who made him happy. Luke gave a thumbs up and texted in the group chat without their parents something stupid that Jack still hadn’t read yet.

Jack said nothing.

And he wasn’t sure anyone noticed. 

Quinn and Carson were going to be engaged soon.

Jack didn’t know who to talk to, his finger hovering over Carson’s contact. He shouldn’t call her. He could call Morgan. But he knew Morgan was busy doing something with her job. He didn’t want to bother her.

He pressed it, turning on the speaker and pushing his phone away from him before he could hang up. 

“Hello?” her name comes out of his speaker. He opens his mouth to say something, realizing he had no idea where to begin. “Jack, are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry, dropped my phone,” he lied, lunging to grab it. “We haven’t talked in a while.”

Carson laughs, Jack’s insides jumping at the sound he hadn’t heard in a while. “Yeah, it has been a while.”

“How are things?” he asks, silently smacking his forehead at how stupid he sounded. He used to be able to talk to her with ease, having conversations that would go on for hours before either of them even found any silence between them. 

Now he could barely talk to her, the sound of her voice something he wanted to hear so badly, something he missed more than he could actually put into words, and he didn’t know what to say so that he could listen to her. 

“Things are actually really great,” she says. He could hear the smile on her face coming through the phone. “Quinn and I just work together, you know?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” he repeats to himself, trying to hide the pain he felt hearing that. “Have you and Quinn talked about…” he starts, his voice trailing off, the words catching in his throat knowing that Quinn could technically ask her at any moment. 

“About what?”

“About you guys getting married?”

Carson stays quiet for a second, a smile on her face forming that broke Jack’s heart with every millimeter it grew. “Yeah, we have.”

“And?” 

Carson’s cheeks turned red. “He hasn’t told me outright, but I think he’s proposing soon.”

Jack’s heart fully shattered, a fake smile on his face. “That’s great.”

“He hasn’t talked to you about it at all?”

“We, uh,” he starts, running his hand through his hair as he laid down on his bed. “We haven’t been able to get each other on the phone lately.” The two of them sat in silence, one of the first times neither of them knew what to say to each other. Conversation used to be so easy between them. “Don’t do it.”

“What?” Carson asks, Jack unsure if she didn’t hear him or thought she didn’t.

“Don’t get engaged to him.” 

“Jack-”

“Carson, I still love you,” he blurts out, leaving Carson stunned. “Carson, please say something.” He wasn’t planning on telling her during this conversation. He wasn’t planning on telling her at all. 

“Still?”

“I think I started falling for you the first minute I saw you.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Jack swallows, trying to stop his voice from cracking. “By the time I realized it, you were already falling in love with Quinn.”

“Jack.” 

“How could I tell you I love you when I was watching you fall in love with my older brother?”

“Jack.”

“How am I supposed to sit here knowing that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone who is perfect for you knowing that I was so close to being that person?” he says outloud.

“What do you want me to say?” she whispers.

“Tell me you won’t do it.”

Carson squeezes her eyes shut, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I can’t.” 

“Carson.”

“Jack, I love Quinn. And he loves me. It has to go both ways. I can’t tell him ‘no’ because you feel something for me that I never felt for you.” Jack says nothing, mostly because he doesn’t know what to say. “I have to go. Quinn will be home any minute.”

Carson hangs up, without saying another word, the front door opening as she whipped away her tears. 

“Hey,” Quinn says, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “You ready to head out?”

“Uh, just give me a minute. I was talking to Jack and got distracted.”

“Yeah? How is he? I haven’t heard from him in a while.” 

“He mentioned that,” Carson nods, getting up from her chair. “I’m gonna go grab my shoes.”

Quinn watches her walk away, checking his pockets to make sure he had everything he needed for the night. 

Phone, check.

Keys, check.

Wallet, check.

Engagement ring.

Check.

___________________________

Quinn skates over to his brothers, who were still standing next to each other. The crowd starts yelling, as they normally do when the three brothers are on the same ice at the same time. Luke and Jack greet Quinn, Jack trying to pretend like he wasn’t distracted. 

“Hey, wait,” Quinn says when the two are about to skate away. Luke hangs back slightly, pretending not to listen. “Carson wants to get together after the game, all four of us.”

Jack looks at Luke. “Uh, we have a flight out tonight.”

“Luke said you guys are leaving until the morning.” 

“It got changed,” Jack lies, making a mental note to turn off his location and hope he can convince Luke to do the same. “The weather’s supposed to be too bad to fly out in the morning.”

“Come on. It’s the last time we’ll be able to get together, just the four of us, before the wedding.” 

___________________________

“Ready to go?” Luke asks, suitcase in hand as their boarding group gets called. 

“No,” Jack mumbles. 

Luke rolls his eyes, yanking Jack by the arm to pull him towards the plane. “What’s your problem with Carson?” Jack fastens his seatbelt, pretending not to hear his younger brother. “Dude.”

“I don’t have a problem with Carson.”

“Then why do you shut down and act like a prick any time we go see them, or anytime her name is mentioned?” Jack doesn’t say anything. “No, we have 6 hours on this plane, so either you are going to use that time to tell me why you have a problem with our future sister-in-law or I’m going to tell Quinn that I’m worried you’re going to Richard Ramirez her in her sleep.” 

Jack looks at his brother with a look of horror. “What the fuck? I’m not the Night Stalker.” 

“Talk,” Luke pokes his brother’s side.

“I liked Carson before she met Quinn.”

“You’re acting like this because you had a crush on her?”

“I’m acting like this because I fell in love with her and she never even thought of me that way.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“Every interaction you’ve ever had with her now makes sense.”

“What?”

“Every time you talk to her, you have that look on your face like she was telling you she killed your first born.” Jack looks at him horrified, again. “Yeah, like that.”

“Stop watching CSI.” 

“There’s so many seasons.”

Luke keeps talking about something while he doesn’t realize Jack is barely paying attention, interjecting with a generic confirmatory noise every once in a while until Jack finally pretends to go to sleep. 

His brother eventually falls asleep instead, leaving Jack alone with his thoughts without his brother’s voice in his ear. He hadn’t seen or talked to Carson since the night she called him before Quinn had proposed. She went from a stranger, to someone he could see in his life forever, back to a stranger. 

He couldn’t even talk to a girl anymore without thinking of Carson, how she compared to her, how her humor and deadpan delivery wasn’t the same as Carson’s, how she didn’t look like Carson or walk like Carson. He was in love with his brother’s fiance, on his way to their engagement party.

___________________________

Jack barely processed what happened during the game. He made the plays he had to, passed the puck when he needed to, but his mind was empty. 

After the game, Luke comes up to him once they're both dressed. “Ready for this?”

“No.”

“Let’s do it, then.” 

They wait for Quinn outside, the adrenaline coursing through him more than he wanted to admit. He wasn’t sure he could face her, even after all this time.

“Hi,” he hears behind him, the voice he once loved now sending panic through him. 

“Hi.”

___________________________

“Alright, you’ve got to get it together,” Luke says as they get out of the car that brought them to the venue. Their parents were already inside, Carson and Quinn definitely inside. 

“I’ll be fine,” he lies, a gift in shaking hand as he opens the door with the other to let Luke go first. He took a deep breath, bracing himself to go in and face Carson for the first time since their phone call the night they ended up getting engaged. “I’ll be fine.”

The party was set up in a way that made exact sense for Carson, it was classy and elegant, while still having shades of Quinn’s chaos thrown in here and there. He didn’t know exactly why it made sense for them, but it did. 

Because they made sense.

“Hi,” he hears behind him, causing him to jump. Carson stands behind him, a short white dress fitting her perfectly in a way that made his heart race. He knew there was a reason to wear a black shirt, and it was to hide the sweat that he felt coming on just being around her. “How are you?”

“Good,” he says, holding out the gift. “This is from us.”

“Us?”

“Um,” he shakes his head, letting out a nervous laugh. “Me and Luke. You didn’t expect him to pick something out on his own, did you?’

“No, not at all.” 

They stand in silence, neither of them knowing what to do. “You look good,” he says, probably one of the first opinions he shared that actually had some semblance of truth to it.

“Thanks, you do, too. How are things?”

“Things are good,” he says, trying not to cringe at how awkward this whole thing felt. He shouldn't have come, but how was he going to say no to the girl he loved and his own brother? “I’m seeing someone, actually,” he hears himself say, surprised by the lie he didn’t know was coming.

“Really?” her eyes light up. “Jack, that’s great. Quinn didn’t tell me that.”

“It’s still new. I haven’t really said anything about it to Quinn yet. I don’t want to jinx it, you know?”

“I get it,” she nods, a smile still lighting up her face. “I’m so happy for you.”

She pulls him in for a hug, Jack keeping one of his hands in his pants pocket. He knew himself too well; if he hugged her too tight, he wouldn’t want to let go.

He hated how corny and stupid he felt. She is his older brother's fiance. He had to forget about her in that way. 

“Hey,” Quinn joins them, pulling Jack in for a hug. “Sorry to interrupt, but Car, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Go, go, I need to find my way to a drink anyway,” Jack waves them off.

Carson takes Quinn’s hand, turning to be led off somewhere by Quinn. She turns over her shoulder, smiling at Jack, as he watched the two of them walk off. She turns away, Jack staring up at the ceiling, not wanting to watch her walk away.

___________________________

The four of them get to a restaurant Quinn had taken his brothers to before, despite the fact that Jack couldn’t remember the name for the life of him. 

Jack sets his phone on the table, the rest of them doing the same.

As they order, Jack’s phone lights up with a text from Morgan: ‘When do you come home? I miss you.’

[scoatneyhall]

WILD. Was anyone else aware that the Ted Lasso team has gone in and made post-production edits on season 3 episodes, sometime in the last year?

I've been rewatching the finale in advance of the one year anniversary of it airing, and straight off, I noticed that the points total on the graphic looked different to how I remembered it - a much closer race. It stuck out because I remembered being annoyed that they didn't celebrate the moment Richmond got confirmed for the Champions League, as the gap was big enough for it to have happened a while ago, offscreen. I still have a screencap from when the episode aired:

However, the current copy on Apple has an updated graphic, making the post-production graphic in line with the numbers on the actual physical whiteboard prop and the script mentioning the win streak. See here:

The corrected copy makes Richmond's points match the whiteboard, but it also puts the teams in 3rd to 5th place much closer to them points-total wise, meaning that now, in the current version of the episode, Richmond only qualified for the UCL in "Mom City," making it make more sense that the start of 3.12 is the first time it gets discussed. Would have been nice to mention that stake in the City match commentary during 3.11, but I genuinely am shocked that they went back in and edited the already-published episodes to clean up the post-production errors. For the record, here's the whiteboard as of 3.08: W10, D9, L6.

Just in case anyone cares, the order of those results was - 1 draw against Chelsea, 6 wins with Zava, 1 loss against West Ham, the rest of the draws and losses occurring between 3.05 and the loss against Arsenal in 3.07, and then the 4 wins mentioned at the start of 3.08. By the start of 3.12, it's mentioned they are on a 16 game win streak, so that's 22 wins overall, 9 draws, 6 losses, going into the final weekend, hence the updated graphic.

I like that they went in and fixed it - no idea when in the past 12 months that occured - but I also kind of can't believe they bothered? Then again, I can't believe the mistake was made in the first place, as they were so specific with details in the prior seasons, so maybe they couldn't live with it being wrong.

I know there were rumours about a ton of issues in terms of getting these episodes posted in time - right down to the wire, still fixing the edit on the airdate - and it's clear that these details were not checked and confirmed by the poor people in post who were not working off the show bible that lives in the writers heads. I don't blame them at all, I blame the people who got the edit to them late, but it did annoy me during the season a LOT. The maths wasn't mathing, and as we know this is a show that has been careful with dates and timelines and stuff like that.

Anyway! The point is, a) this post about my UCL qualification fantasies is now moot, and b) I went back and checked another post production error that had REALLY pissed me off, which was the dates of texts in Ted's phone in 3.04. Phone dates have always given us the timeline quite strictly before - it's how @belmottetower and I started the timeline in our primer, with Ted arriving in London on January 6, 2020 and then following the football seasons from there to place the season 3 finale in May 2022 - but in 3.04, all the cute texts we see to all the characters in his phone were badly misdated, placing the timeline further in the future. This caused arguments or misunderstandings, at the time about the actual timeline of the show, but it seems this was another detail the producers really wanted to fix and tighten up, as they've gone back and had it edited.

It's weird, because the texts Ted was actually going back to - the messages from Doctor Jacob - were dated correctly as late 2019, and there's even a little easter egg in the form of a US rideshare notification picking him up to go to the airport in America, on 5 January 2020. (Even the area code, 316, is apparently correct to Kansas.) That's all correct even in the original version of the episode, but somehow we then skip a year and place his most recent texts, as of 3.04, in late October 2022, when they should only be in late September or early October 2021. (I found this post on Reddit that screenshotted his phone at the time.) Examples:

I had to go back and check this, and sure enough, it's been edited to reflect the established timeline - they didn't just redate the year on each message, they also changed a bunch of the chats to be more recent - so rather than dates, his most recent chats with Henry, the Coaches, etc are from "Yesterday," then the first dated texts are in very late September 2021. This matches up pretty perfectly with where they are in a typical Premier League season - they REALLY cleaned it up. Further back, they do just switch the years on the dates, so he still got a picture from Sassy last Valentines Day, and his last one-on-one contact with Jamie is still set before the events of Wembley in 2.08 (FA Cup semi finals are in April, so a few weeks after the March 2021 date on Jamie's chat.)

My brain is itching because I swear there was a screen of Nate and Ted's text chat at some point too? With Ted reaching out about his new job, on a date that deeply did not work with the timeline? But maybe I imagined it. There's no record of Nate's number in his phone at all now, and the texts date back to before Nate left, so I guess in this version of events, Ted deleted Nate's number and message history.

Anyway, I'm aware that basically no one is going to care about this, but I suspect that the three people who will actually care will REALLY FUCKING CARE. Has anyone else noticed it? Does anyone know when it may have happened? Does anyone know what else might have been changed or fixed? I love details and I love the fact that there is no longer conflicting data about what football seasons the show is covering - it's mid 19/20 to the end of 21/22, end of story - but what a fucking mess the production of season 3 must have been, to end up at this point!

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters in Costco

The title says it all, really.

[Previously: Cosmere characters in Ikea]

1. Wayne & Marasi

Marasi: Wayne...is that another new hat? Wayne: Why yes, dearie. I'm now Egrid Sternsberger, a little old lady who simply must try one of those mini hamburgers! Marasi: ...I think they'll give you multiple samples if you just ask. You don't have to keep switching hats. Wayne: Now, where would be the fun in that?

2. Shallan, Veil, Radiant

Radiant: Now, remember--it requires a majority vote before we make any big impulse purchases. Shallan: This vodka bottle is the size of my torso and will therefore last a long time. Veil: That's a good reason. Radiant: ...I'll just get another cart.

3. Ham and Dockson

Ham: Hey, do you know where Kelsier went off to? For that matter, where's Vin? Dockson: [Points silently upwards, to where Vin & Kelsier crouch on top of those big, metal, Costco warehouse shelves, mistcloaks rippling] Dockson: They like to be high. Ham: W-We're inside! How is there a breeze?!

4. Lift & Wyndle

Lift: Man, that was great! Lift: I stole food from every one of those little stands and nobody caught me! Wyndle: Mistress, like I keep telling you, those stands are giving away the free samples! There was no need to-- Lift: I am the greatest thief of all time!

5. Painter and Yumi

Painter: Please let me get another cart. Yumi: I said we don't need another cart! Painter: Y-You've stacked the cart so high that people are afraid to come within six feet of us! Yumi: Who do you think you're talking to? I can go way higher than this! Painter: Yumi please

6. Adolin & Kaladin

Adolin: Ta-da! What do you think? Kaladin: About your...clothes? Adolin: Yeah! It's all from here! Adolin: I got shorts with lots of pockets, this colorful buttoned shirt, this big hat, these sunglasses--even these cool plastic shoes with holes for airflow AND these socks! Adolin: I am going to revolutionize fashion. Kaladin: ... Adolin: What? Even Wit liked it! Kaladin: I'll be going now. Adolin: Wait! I got a matching outfit for you too! Kaladin come baaaack!

7. Tress & Charlie

Tress: Wow, this one is amazing too! Tress: It's a bit bent and a bit stained, but you can really see that it's been on a journey. Tress: Oooh! This one's an interesting shape! I think it was for strawberries! Charlie: Man, and to think they just give all of these cardboard boxes away for free!

8. Navani & Rushu

Navani: That is...quite the tower of toilet paper. Rushu: How do you suppose they get the top ones down? Some kind of machine, presumably? Do you think it's stacked for space efficiency or is it meant to inspire awe, as well? Rushu: ...Should I take one from the bottom to see what happens? Navani: ...Just grab one of the ones with the bear on it, for now. Rushu: Later then?

9. Rock & Skar

Rock: I love this place! All the food is sized for a while squad! Rock: Look at this! It's a cooked chicken the size of my HEAD! Skar: I found a rack of ribs that would take two men to carry! Rock: Tonight's stew will be a true wonder.

10. Nale and Szeth

Nale: And here is what I wanted to show you--this icon of justice. Szeth: ...A hotdog the size of my forearm? Nale: Yes. Nale: Do you understand what I am trying to teach you? Szeth: Hotdogs are...justice? Nale: This one is. Nale: The owner declared that the price would remain in stone, and that no change would be permitted while he yet lived. Nale: Lack of change? An enduring ruling? A man willing to stake his life on it? Nale: It is a hotdog of justice indeed, Szeth.

[lyrakanefanatic]

Tig character hcs except this time it’s not their kids and just them!!

- I just KNOW the hawthornes made vines, and then Nash would have to be the one to edit and record them all 💀💀

- max used to make taylor swift music videos and then have her brother record them (yes, she has a brother that’s mentioned like once in the first book 💀💀)

- Avery is taller than libby by like 🤏 much

- Jameson “hates” cats but pets every cat he sees

- Libby used to make baking tutorials when she was 12

- Xander met maxs parents once and then was traumatized by them ever since (he’s scared of them)

- grayson has a 7 step skincare routine

- Xander once tried to surprise tackle nash but accidentally gave him a concussion so he was banned from doing that for a couple months 💀

- avery and Jameson have movie marathons that consists of eating Libby’s desserts and binge watching classics (or horror movies)

- grayson has a light blue skincare fridge

- when xander was little he tried to smuggle candy so he could eat it late at night and then they got maggots living in his room after that 💀

- Tobias was soooo mad

- libby has fed more cupcakes than she would like to admit to tiramisu

- thea used to have “fashion runway shows” in her bedroom, which meant wearing 748248 different pieces of clothes ontop of one another, and somehow managed to convince little xander to do it with her

- he still has the photos to haunt him to this day

- Grayson will NEVER EVER EVERRR admit it, but he likes rom coms. So sometimes, when it’s late at night and everybody else is asleep, he will binge watch a romcom or two. It’s his guilty pleasure and as much as he pretends to hate them and gaslights himself into thinking they’re cringe, he still loves them

- Rebecca never really got much attention from her mother, but sometimes Tobias would spend the day with her and show her cool puzzles. She would always look forward to those days, as it’s the one time she doesn’t have to worry about pleasing Emily (💔)

- Nash definitely had a girlfriend when he was 13 and when they broke up he started wearing all black and turned emo for two weeks. When his little brothers started catching on and asking Tobias what happened, he would just say “nash is going through a phase 😇”

- before Jameson learned Latin, he learned all the bad words and then started saying them to EVERYBODY (Tobias shut it down pretty quickly, but then they had to actually learn Latin so there wasn’t much Tobias could really do about it 💀)

- max almost died once because she decided to go ham on the pills that her parents had on the top cabinets

- Avery watched every single chipmunks movie about a million times because her mom used to think they were HILARIOUS

- when Gigi was little, she was sooo clumsy and would break everything, so it got to a point where even when Savannah would accidentally break a vase or something gigi would still get the blame for it 💀

- Grayson chased Jameson around the house with a knife once

- when they were little the Hawthornes would take April fools sooo seriously, which meant multiple things exploding, whipped cream being thrown in peoples faces, and just so much more chaos

- xander was a slime kid when he was little. He would have sooo much slime and would be constantly making it, and he also tried to do those “making slime without glue” things 💀

- when Avery was born and Libby saw her as a baby, she was so happy and was crying because she’s always wanted a little sister 💖💖:(

- max had a dream one time where Xander cheated on her so she called him crying at 2:54 AM while being half asleep and shouting about how he could do this to her

- she hung up not long after that and went back to sleep, but when she woke up she realized it was a dream (she still gets made fun of for it by xander to this day)

- xander asks libby if she can make him blueberry and lemon scones because they’re “better when she makes it” 🫶🫶

- when Rebecca and Xander were little, they tried storing WILD ANIMALS under xanders bed because they wanted a zoo 💀

- one of the animals ate through the walls, so that’s how Tobias found out

Okay I think that’s all!!! Lmk if u want me to do more, bc it’s actually rlly fun lmao

[factual-fantasy]

I HAS 25 ASK :}}}}}🍤

@nihilityart Thank you! And,

@cherrycreamfairy

I am now! Some kind of ice and fire guys? They look neat :}}

For me clothed VS unclothed is the same as Civilized VS uncivilized. Or perhaps Intelligent VS unintelligent..? Captain Barnacles VS a salmon. The very humanoid Captain polar bear is gonna wear clothes and the lil fish guy just gonna swim around and be a fish XD

@beryl-shade

I'm thinking that the Cupcake Factory and Mazercise were never built following Chica's decommission.. the only thing that remains of her is the small party stage her and Freddy used to preform on. :(

Proud :}

Well, my Jevil gains the power create mirrors and walk through them into other AUs and timelines. So maybe his power matches up?? I'm not familiar with that Kefka character <XD

Glamrock Foxy still suffers from baby disease XD He may be bigger then Chica and Freddy, but they can still push him around fairly easily.

I also imagine becuase he's so light he can easily be picked up by the other Glamrocks. Poor Foxy can never catch a break XDD

Also Swap Foxy would never pick up OG Foxy. He couldn't do that to him man he knows the pain all too well <XD

Freddy would be really sad seeing Bonnie like that. He doesn't even have to ask anyone what's up with him. He knows that Bonnie cant handle constant activity, noise and lights. He's just not programmed with that kind of processing power. After every performance back in the day, Freddy was the first one check on Bonnie and get him to his room if he was wiped out.

And he was always the last to speak with him after he emerged from his room. Waiting for Bonnie to talk to him first when he was ready.

Seeing him like this now.. so.. hollow. It just breaks his heart. He can tell just by looking at him that no one has treated Bonnie right or attended to his needs in any way. For years. He wouldn't take any of Bonnies rudeness or sarcasm personally. It would bounce right off him because he knows why Bonnie is saying those things and he means none of it.

If Glamrock Freddy was in the swap AU, he would completely leave Bonnie alone. He wouldn't talk to him or address him in anyway. Buuuut maybe he would hover nearby. To be there to give Bonnie an escape from any given situation or if he happens to need someone or something, Freddy would be there to help.

But still. Never talk to him or look at him. Bonnie doesn't need any more things to process.. :(

Thanks for ask! Don't be shy to send more, I love getting them! :DD

As for the perfect sandwich? Oooo that's a good question. Uhhmmmm.... hmm.. Well, tbh I'm kind'a craving a cursed PB&J with cheetos in the middle ngl..

Oh! Or maybe a sandwich with toasted bread and some mayo, turkey, Ham and cheese?? Its kind'a basic but man does that sound good right about now XD

@ocinstituterep

I imagine it works much like the show/real boy scouts. There's not really any major changes I can think of..

I mean, I guess in my AU Professor Natquik was probably the main polar scout leader- or maybe even the founder of the polar scouts?? Or at the very least he could have been a beloved polar scout leader for like.. 20-30 years or something before he dipped and went to the Antarctic. That's all I can think of <XD

@youlikwjazz004

Thank you! I'm having a ton of fun drawing this Deltarune stuff so far! I'm doing a ton of world building on it and I have another set of drawings to post right after this ask post goes up! :}}

As for Jevil's lore, I made this post that talks about his lore thus far. But the post I'm going to make after this kind'a overwrites that so be on the look out XD

They grew up on the Octopod yes. And I don't think its a thing of child labor XD I imagine that all the Octonauts can cook for themselves. The Vegimals are just very eager to help out and they love to cook! Its become their way of helping out around the ship because they want to help. But they can stop when ever- no one is forcing them to be their cooks or even live there. They can leave when ever they want! But they choose not to because they love the crew and they love to cook!

Actually, google says that Barnacles is from Northern Canada. Something about a decorative banner he has labeled "MV Manitoba", which is a reference to the province of Manitoba..?

Which I guess if he is from Northern Canada, that banner and wheel is the only Canadian thing he brought to the Octopod.? XD

Thank you so much!! :DDD

@nervousdiplomatpalacehorse

YOOO I JUST WATCHED THE TEASER FOR IT!! THATS SO COOL??? I'M EXCITED NOW THAT I KNOW ABOUT IT XDD

And King Resh you say? Ooooo, I like that name :00 And yeah, boy his design sure is spooky <XDD

@ariisonfire (Post in question)

SKKJDKJSFKJ SORRY! That probably didn't feel great-- <XD But don't worry I had no idea your character existed when I made blue Grillby so I'm not copying! XD

@octonauts16

I've seen that floating around. I don't have much of an opinion on it myself. I just hope the fans are satisfied with it :0

@shaziztrazh

I have actually! I watched Elvis the Alien review it on YouTube XDD

WAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH THATS SO SWEET WAAAA💖😭✨🍤💖 As for your questions!!-- XDD

1: In the partial swap with Gregory.. I imagine there was a moment like in the classic AU where Monty and Foxy sat down with Chica and told her that Freddy was gone. She probably got some old posters and pointed Freddy out to Gregory. Eventually communicating that she wanted to look for him. In which, they would find him all beat up..

In the true swap, with little Vanessa, I imagine its the same thing. Despite Bonnie taking the place of Freddy, its still Monty and Foxy that sit down and explain Freddy's disappearance. In which again, Chica points out Freddy in the posters to Vanessa and they go find him.

2: I believe in both the Partial and true swap, Freddy and Chica's decommissions happened the same way/for the same reasons as Foxy and Bonnie in the Classic AU.

3: Fazer blast doesn't actually exist in the partial or true swap. In the classic AU Freddy and Chica's attraction was just the main stage and party area. And Bonnie had the Bowling ally and Foxy had Pirates cove.

When the Glamrock era began, Bonnie bowl and Pirates cove were left untouched. Meanwhile Freddy and Chica's roles expanded and they were given Fazer Blast and Mazercise.

In the true and partial swap, that stage and party area are just kind'a.. left there. Maybe sometimes big party's happen and one of the bots come and preform on that old stage.? But mostly the giant stage is used and that old party stage is left to collect dust. Which is a blessing in disguise. I cant imagine the pain the bots would feel preforming on that stage where their friends once stood..

As for Bonnie bowl, yeah it was expanded big time. And is way more decked out than it was before. As for the Pizzaplex its name is still the same. But I imagine the logo looks a bit different :0

@tisgoodthe1st

Thank you so much!! :DDD

@montygatorshusband

I mean, personally? I don't really like it but that's just because I don't ship Fronnie. But hey its not my artwork so its not really any of my business-

@awoogic

Huh? What about him? Looks like he's from tiktok.?

Thank you! And that would be something that would shock the classic Glamrocks. Swap Freddy is in significantly worse shape than Classic Bonnie.. (which was intentional ;}})

Freddy would be rather disturbed seeing his old model so messed up. Considering how much he misses the past and his old body.. seeing an eye hanging out, his arm broken- his leg twisted in the wrong direction.. ehg, it would really freak him out. He'd have a hard time looking at himself..

Chica seeing her old self would disturb her, but also make her jealous somewhat.?? My Chica doesn't like being a Glamrock and misses her old body and role on stage. So seeing herself back in her pink dress and soft yellow feathers.. despite the removal of her beak and hands she'd be weirdly envious.

Monty and Roxy wouldn't have any unique or interesting reactions. They'd just be like "wow you guys look janked up I'm so sorry" XD

This post I made a while back talks about that! :00

(post in question)

XD Yeah. Eventually his fur grew out and he trimmed all the green back. But it sure was funny while it was there!

[pinkthingtragedy]

my ed isn't necessarily a bad thing

I understand that when I was deeply into anorexia (I was eating 200/300 cals a day, I used to starve for more than 4 days) I didn't feel good, I didn't have a life, food was the only thing in my mind, and also I was eating really shitty, only processed food, no veggies, basically no water and only diet coke and other zero cal drinks.

and bulimia ofc wasn't a good thing, I've been clean for more than 250 days

(yippie)

but then I tried recovering... and omg worst decision ever

my weight before, at the time was 57 kg, but usually it was always around 63 kg and now I'm over 70, and I get that all the meds that I took have a huge part in this, but I gained so much when I tried to eat like a normal human being, and oh man if I hate it.

I hate it so much.

my arms are huge, my belly is colossal, my legs look like two giant hams, my face went back to being chubby and puffy, my boobs are enormous, they ruin every outfit, even my hands become so big.

I look so stupid, everything that I wear looks embarrassing because I'm fucking fat.

I don't want a relationship now because I'm too fat to be fucked, I know that I am not disgusting, because what's really disgusting is all this fat that needs to be GONE asap

the plan that my nutritionist gave me didn't change anything, but at least now I know how to balance a meal properly

I lost all of my discipline in these two years, I need to get back on track.

I'm not a free spirit, I crave control, I crave order, it was always like this and this needs to be embraced.

I'm not going to fall into a deep hole, I'm not going to eat less than 700 cal, I will simply eat from 700 to 1000 cal, adding some work out.

AND BINGES ARE NOT ALLOWED

I'm going to start college, I need amazing grades, I need to clean my room and my house, I don't want to live in the dirt anymore, I need to study piano again, I was really good and I love the attention of people when I play it, and I need to start reading again because I can't be this ignorant.

and, the most important, I NEED TO BE SKINNY

If you're skinny people take you seriously, people actually like you, being skinny is a literal flex, clothes look good on you, and you just become prettier because your face slim down.

oh, to be a simple pretty white girl.

I was always the weird one, the stupid one, the funny one, the kind one, but never the skinnier or the prettiest or the smartest.

I want that to change.

I need to change.

I need to be untouchable.

I want to finally be pretty, be desired, be liked.

[chaeiimimi]

ex(?) jjk men headcanons

GOJO SATORU

the AUDACITY you have to break up with him, it’s your loss, not his...or is it?

WRONG please collect your man he is literally a mess (have mercy on Ijichi and Nanami)

the two guys are having an earful of Gojo’s dramatic rants and sudden mood swings

“I am Gojo Satoru the strongest sorcerer to ever exist, I am a god, no woman is going to break me”

“what am I supposed to do Nanami? *hic* she’s the love of my life *hic**sob* my lifeline, I can’t possibly *hic* live without her” 

doesn’t let your breakup affect his work though but is very annoying and distracting to work with

“baby please take me back,” he says literally whenever he sees you ‘

let’s be honest here, who are you to reject the one and only Gojo Satoru when he gives you the puss in boots eyes?

he would reflect on that fight and makes sure he doesn’t commit the same mistake again will show you how sorry he is in many ways from material gifts to acts of service and sweet language

NANAMI KENTO 

very less likely that you’ll break up with him, but if it does happen, he’ll act like the mature man he is... well...

gives you enough time and space to cool off and wear down the intense emotions, but he doesn’t agree to a breakup in the middle of a fight or an argument when emotions are running high

is very cautious when interacting with you during your “cool off”

people don’t really notice because you’re not really the type to engage in PDA, it’s just between the two of you, no lingering touches when standing side by side in a group setting, no subtle smiles when crossing paths, no discreet eye signals when one of you want to say something to the other, no random trinkets and snacks on your desk, no random love notes on his as well, no phone calls, texts, random selfies being sent and many of the subtle ways you show your love to each other

and it was driving Nanami crazy, he came up with different excuses to see you, like oh he happened to be at the same café you’re in during breakfast, he needed a shirt that he left at your house, he needs to know how your pet goldfish is doing, he was surveying your apartment for “research”

you caught on pretty much instantly and confronted him about it, he pretty much scratches the back of his nape and reluctantly admits it

a sudden relief washes over him when he heard you chuckle and felt your arms encircling his waist “you’re so cute love, god, I miss you” 

would kiss you passionately, even if it’s in public (cue the look of disbelief on the high schoolers’ eyes)

kinda went ham on Nanami but anyways... should I write more jjk?... if I should pls send some suggestions on my ask box.. stay healthy and happy <3

[thedawningofthehour]

I finally got registered to vote yesterday in Pennsylvania. I am doing mail in ballot. I kind of don’t know how your state is, but my state is pretty much like 50% Republican and 50% Democrat. Man, I hope Harris wins.

Pennsylvania is huge, like it's not hyperbole at all to say that the election might literally come down to a state like Pennsylvania. You're doing your part and I'm proud of you.

Minnesota is very solidly blue-like, Ilhan Omar is literally my representative, the Twin Cities is extremely gay and liberal and outside of like, Duluth and Rochester, (which are also very gay and liberal) there's not much else to Minnesota. Like, I know this is how most states work, most of the people are concentrated in cities and the more spread out people are the more conservative they tend to be, but I lived up in Bemidji for a year and can't stress enough how fucking empty northern MN is. Which, fair, cold like that is unnatural and not fit for human habitation. (I knew a guy from Togo who, the first day they had a -30 or whatever day-which was pretty much every day in the winter when I lived there-went down to the front door, opened it, felt the cold, and immediately turned around and went back to bed)

Also Tim Walz is literally our governor. And we are hamming it up a little bit with our 'Minnesota's dad' thing, but honestly not even that much. He was very popular even before Harris picked him as his running mate, and now we're all like "look, that's our guy!" Safe to say Harris has this state pretty much locked down.

I will still be voting, of course, and you all should too even if you're in a state that's solidly red or blue. For one, that's how a lot of states go red, blue voters don't show up because they think there's no point. Texas has more registered Democrats than Republicans-it's very possible that it goes blue. (and for the sake of Texans it really needs to, because good god Republicans are doing everything in their power to torpedo that state) And trust me, those old people who do nothing but watch Fox News-they vote. In every. Election.

And a lot of you guys might have been too young to really understand what was going on, but back in 2016 there was real talk about not certifying the election-not because we didn't like the outcome, but because Clinton literally got more votes than Trump. If Trump wins the EC but loses the popular vote by millions of votes, there's a legit argument to be had for not certifying it. Hopefully we won't get to that point.

REGISTER TO VOTE GUYS!

CHECK AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE REGISTERED! REGULARLY!

AND VOTE!

Like, yes, this is all ridiculous. We shouldn't have to say "you need to vote blue or democracy will literally be destroyed." We shouldn't have red states weighed so heavily that they can win elections even when they lose. We shouldn't have to check our voting registration weekly to make sure our registration hasn't been dumped in an effort to keep us from voting. We should have ranked voting to make third-party candidates viable. We should have automatic voter registration and have Election Day as a federal holiday, but we don't. And we can push for that stuff, but we have to accept that we're not going to have it by November.

Like, you can argue that you shouldn't need to lock your door because people shouldn't be robbing houses. That's not going to be much consolation when you come home and your TV is gone.

[havikshoochiemama]

My Star Wars Acolyte rant >:(

This shit is not proofread LMAO it’s 5 am i’m mad leave me alone just me being the hater that i am 🤭

I originally wasn’t gonna talk about the Acolyte because clearly the show was just another emotionally immature shitty Disney cash grab with horribly written characters BUT DUDE i keep seeing ads and stuff on my tumblr NONSTOP and i’m actually sick of it .. most of you guys saw one Tumblr Sexyman and just went ham with that…We as a fandom need to stand up because Disney doesn’t care about star wars imma keep it a buck they just want to make their next mcu and they just greenlighting anything at this point

“oh but i like Andor” yeah that’s like what ever 10 shows they make they make one good one that’s not good 😭… anyways like i was saying they are literally pulling shit out their ass they are getting shit from the star wars legends that’s it’s own universe and putting it in…like excuse me ??? those books don’t follow the events of the movie so why would your show that allegedly takes place before the movies (I said allegedly because writers can’t even get characters ages right ) also i’m talking about that bs w the helmet that stops lightsabers… apparently it’s called cortosis from legends never once mentioned in any of the movies (i’m not watching them live action shows idgaf i like SOME of the animated ones) but they use it as a Mcguffin when they want bc they never built on this they just stole it from legends LMAOAA you just can’t do that  i’m literally about to pop a blood vessel 😭 i’m not watching that show again but let me critique the shit i do remember… also the “Gayest Star Wars we ever made” KEEP MY PEOPLE OUT YOUR SHITTY WORK !!! but after that man who’s to edgy for a name killed all her friends she “loved” she’s sees his face and is like wow 😍 literally thinkin with her pussy very hetro of you 💀 gah this show just pisses me off star war at its heart is a fuckin space opera and i dont think disney understands that. i literally fell in love with star wars back when i played battlefront and watched all the movies read as many comics and books as i could get my hands on and seeing something you love become something you hate is fuckin sick and crazy it’s started with me from the force awakens that movie is horrible you bitches say pretty graphics and said oh good movie 😍 NO NO it literally was just a new Hope setting everything that luke did back making him basically useless LMAO and they butchered the old characters to help the new ones which are really not that great 💀 i’m still mad that them used Finn as a token black person 😐 i could rewrite the force awakens better same characters and all and yk actually do something better (joking i would if Disney paid me to)LMAO also i hate kylo ren don’t get me wrong i love my cry baby tantrum throwing villains but he’s nawt it LMAO i’m sorry this is a rant about the shitty show YALL NOT READY FOR ME TO SPEAK ON THE FORCE AWAKENS 😭

yeah i hate that show i literally don’t wanna talk about it anymore heart emoji 😝 remember when people said the Phantom Menace was bad yeah…  at least it have character development atleast it had good world building atleast the universe was establish and yk i liked it but the prequel’s have always been my favorite clone wars literally came out on my birth year >:3 it was made for me 🤭 but i’m just a whore for world building and lore yeah… umm idk to me start wats ended with the return of the Jedi 🗣️

dont @ me idc this is my opinion and if you want to continue meat riding corporate greed that literally is ruining my fave franchise pop off if you liked the show i don’t care good for you (your def new gen star wars fan)

also Darth Plagueis ?? LMAO WHAT they just doing anything i see and why where all the jedis fuckin morons … okay ? and your main character sucked you don’t get the satisfaction of character arcs like “her joining the dark side” if there was no character building to begin with like ? it not to late Disney just burn it get it over with. Also it’s all so Fuckin boring LMAO also i can talk shit about character development and arcs all i want bc i’m writing my own novel and i’ve did a lot of research even tho this whole rant is a mess it’s 5 in the morning give ur girl a break i just really like my silly space movie okay 🥹 i literally spent a band on the Star Wars encyclopedia leave me alone

Um if you wanna argue my comments are open <3 i love arguing i’m somewhat of a scorpio myself

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 6 notes

today's adventure with our favorite agents didn't really do a lot for me but. at least it wasn't super sad? so let's go? i guess?

liveblog begins NOW!

this episode sounds like it is gonna make me squeamish. extremely so. and also i just read the rest of the episode descriptions for the season and i’m sad so i really hope this is SOMEHOW a happy one. hey, listen, it’s possible!

author’s note: sometimes i hate being right. sometimes i hate thinking, boy, this sure looks like it’s gonna make me feel lightheaded, and it does.

oh, how i look forward to diving into the fluff fic recommendations from my last post…. <3 

but we must suffer through canon, no?

we open with someone about to undergo some liposuction, a thing i have never wanted to see. the patient is being wheeled in and the doctor is being informed of what kind of appointment he has next. the doctor is really really scrubbing his hands to the point i thought he was shaking and OH! his hands are very bloody. oh. i do not think that is clean. 

oh god i’m in for a rough ride this episode aren’t i, i realize as we see him bleed through his gloves and begin the surgery. OHHHHH an incision. I AM NOT LOOKING I AM NOT LOOKING. i am looking a little OUGH is THAT what this procedure looks like from the doctor’s end??? oh my gosh. oh man. the… sucking…

deep breathing.

the nurse goes to see a different patient and explains she doesn’t know where the doctor is. the doctor is… currently REALLY going ham on the sucking. WHAAAA we see the blood fill up the tube and oh man i’m not joking like straight up being so honest w you i can feel my body growing faint. i actually did not look at the screen until the intro because that was too close for me. and yes i understand he was….um. going TOO hard.

oh mein gott… the things i do for these two agents….

save me intro. save me pretty picture of scully. and that scene where they burst in with the guns and flashlights. save me.

okay. i’ve regained most of my feeling in my head. now the doctor is here, very sorrowfully explaining how he was watching himself do those things without having any control over it.

ah, he is speaking to mulder, who suggests that it may be spirit or demon possession. 

so mulder and scully are here talking to the doctor, but the lawyer says he did NOT want mulder talking to him lmaooo. 

scully asks what meds he’s taking and the lawyer again shuts them down. rude as hell. she wants to know about his sleeping pills. let her doctor as needed tf

oh…. scully going straight into a detailed explanation of how his medication worked <3 i just love her… this is why i suffer through the fat sucking (which has now occurred multiple times??)

why is mulder eyeing this nurse. don’t think i didn’t notice that…

this doctor was taking more than a sleeping pill a day, and she says it has controversial effects, so maybe that could make a guy do such a thing. it’s a good start to a theory.

she seems mad as hell that this space is being used for cosmetic surgery and not as a hospital and i love that she has some righteous rage going on there… let her save some damn lives!! 

“everyone’s doing it… or so i’ve heard” <- the thought of mulder getting plastic surgery is so silly… like is he not already the most gorgeous fellow alive

mulder’s on the floor looking at some weird marks and drawing a pentagram in the victim’s blood. average behavior for a guy like him. not convincing to scully, however.

scary facts with scully: deaths due to doctor's errors are upwards of 80,000 a year! that’s horrific and for my own sanity i’m not going to google how those stats have changed 

“i don’t think it’s a simple possession, scully, i think it’s sorcery or black magic or something like that” (said with his hands on his hips in the standard mulder pose) love him so bad…. please recite to me the different levels of magic in order of complexity

they run into the nurse who was on call at the time the sucking incident went down, and she is like idk how it could happen… but when mulder tells her the doctor is claiming he was possessed, she says “i guess it’s cheaper than malpractice insurance” LMAO i like her… don’t tell me she was the one doing the sorcery or something, let us have one nice side character who makes it out alive 

(author's note: ...)

then the agents try to talk to a doctor, but she says the patient can’t wait, which sparks more scully bitterness. mulder is watching the surgery stream. weird fellow

cutscene to a table with a conspicuous pentagram on it. someone is saying they need to keep calm. it seems they are the doctors at the facilities?

okay, so another procedure is going on. the patient says she’s getting a skin peel but the nurse is putting LEECHES ON HER?? man what the hell is going on here. and it’s the nice nurse who is doing it too 😭😭😭

mulder is making faces in the mirror now, seeming to mull the possibility of getting rhinoplasty over LMAOOO but scully knocks at his door… it’s video time!! woohoo, pop that bad boy in the VHS player!!

aww, it’s not a fun time video. it’s the video of the killing, and mulder claims to see a pentagram. scully is gagged that the doctor stabbed/sucked the dude to death, but i’m choosing to focus here on her beautiful freckles…..

he’s saying that a pentagram is for protection, so it wouldn’t even make sense, BUT “it does make sense that witchcraft or black magic would find a theater in a place like this, preying on the weak and vainglorious” <- woah... he's a philosopher

get yourself a man who can explain the positive connotations of pentagrams and other nerd stuff with 100% sincerity

oh my god, mulder is sitting on the bed and looking up at scully here, and i need it FRAMED. do you know the scene i’m talking about? i’d give you the time stamp if i had it. the way he’s looking at her…. oh my goodness... my heart. 

the stomach pills the doctor was taking had an ingredient used in hexing rituals. live scully response: “well, if it’s that simple, why don’t you put out an APB for someone riding a broom and wearing a tall black hat?” <- LMAOOOO get his ass

he scrunches up his nose at this comment and oh my gosh. oh… i want to hold this grown man.

BUT he is saying the ritual might not be over yet, while he stares up at her so adoringly, and man… i’m so sensitive 

okay back to the hospital, where this shady coalition of doctors seems to be debriefing. the nurse is there, who i am now suspicious of for engaging in leech-related activities. 

oh! one of the other doctors went into a patient’s room and started burning their face with a laser. luckily, this is visually unrealistic enough for me to not nearly faint this time.

so this doctor who did the face lasering- dr. ilaqua- is now being seen by scully. and he is on the same sleeping medication as the first guy!!!

back at a computer, mulder is looking at before and after rhinoplasty pictures. NO... i love his nose… he had BEST NOT DO A DAMN THING to it. and he’s holding a pencil up to test how straight his nose is and MY MAN. STOP. you are beautiful. who told you otherwise. i love his nose.........

oh! the leeches were used to make a pentagram on the victim’s body. this is not a good sign.

this creepy panel of doctors is meeting again when the agents arrive and do not give a fuck about their meeting. yes!! more agents walking into places without knocking!!! it is my favorite! it sustains me!

scully says she’s sorry to barge in but it’s a matter of urgency whilst not looking sorry in the slightest. which suits her!

and one of the doctors- dr. franklyn- is explaining that there were similar deaths 10 years ago… and they’re pinning the blame on the nurse!!! saying she was there 10 years ago and just transferred back in!!!

i do not believe it in the slightest that if she IS involved in this, she is doing it on her own. but the doctor says she left early. where to?

well, the camera takes us to go do some creepy chanting, of course! in a room filled with candles and statues and jewelry. and she’s naked i think too which is a risk around so many open flames. okay and now some hair is being cut. but it’s not the nurse who is doing the chanting nor the trimming. whoever it is seems to be falling asleep. 

the agents are here, and it is dark, and they are not messing around. they are going to this creepy house. with a cat meowing and a broom on the steps! i see what you did there.

mulder jokes that the broom gives them probable cause LMAO and then he starts to open the door as if it actually does… only to find a pentagram!!! dun dun DUUUUN!

it’s kicking the door down time, a good time in my opinion. where they hold the flashlight in one hand and the gun in the other… yeah. always a showy move. never gets old.

oh no!! scully finds the ritual space!! what could she have been doing in here?, she asks... girl i think you know damn well lmao

dr. franklyn from the council is coming home to his mansion… and his lights won’t turn on. that’s suspicious. that’s weird. 

it’s very very quiet as he goes into his bathroom… AND FINDS SOMETHING WRITTEN ON BLOOD IN THE WALL!!

it looks like latin which i sadly cannot read :(

well, it could be blood OR lipstick, all things considered

and the tub is flowing with blood which is not a welcome sight. as he stares at his reflection like narcissus, something LEAPS out and GETS HIM!! so now there is a very bloody person loose in his house!!

he goes to call 911 but gets put on hold… as this person is going to TOWN on him with a knife. 

the agents roll up and we see that it is the NURSE who is covered in the blood and just did the stabbing!!!! she says she needs to be let go, but i’m not gonna lie, i think that would be a very bad idea. mulder wants to chat. she’s saying she’s trying to stop “them”, but they’re too powerful… and then she… chokes up needles?? oh. and blood. 

scully says get her in surgery NOW and also i’m going with her to the ER. while mulder looks at all the pins on the ground from her insides and then PICKS ONE UP???? the germs…..

so dr. franklyn got away and is being stitched up by one of the other doctors. they are not seeming to be enjoying the witchcraft theory. mulder watches dr. franklyn lay down in his bed and then when he leaves he starts to levitate!!!! what!!! and he’s smiling while doing this!!!

who are these weirdos…

it’s 3:40 AM and mulder has his demon books out, but really he’s looking at himself again in the mirror. bro is insecure and it’s making me sad. 

a knock at the door. scully!! at nearly 4 am. “god, you look tired”, says mulder, in a way that expresses concern rather than being mean. and she actually doesn’t look tired at all because it’s TV, but i’ll suspend my disbelief again. 

anyway, the nurse died from throwing up hundreds of pins. but how did they get IN there…

it has to be allotriophagy, says mulder, consulting his witchcraft encyclopedia! when you’re possessed and cough up strange and horrible things! which i shall use as an excuse next time i need to call in sick to work.

he stole the book from the nurse’s house, and also a calendar, where he found april 30th starred. and he explains it is one of the “four greater witches’ Sabbaths”, a natural thing for an FBI agent to know! /s

oh get this… the high holy days correspond to the birthdays of the victims!!! so that would be a good way to predict who is next.. but mulder says the nurse was trying to protect them with the pentagram, and she must have known something about dr. franklyn!!

so the doctors are talking about having a good thing going and people trying to take it away… i guess they're all in on this?

dr. franklyn has another procedure coming up, but the other doctor is like no dude you look terrible and you can’t mess this up, we'll get shut down, i’m doing it 

and gasp!! there is a patient going in that was born on one of the holy days!!! and that patient is going into surgery right now!

OH MY GOSH HE BURNED HER FACE OFF. THERE IS NO FACE LEFT. WHAT. WHAT DID I JUST SEE. 

so now they’re talking to another doctor, dr. shannon. they’re talking about how they successfully covered up the death cases from 10 years ago because they have made a TON of money doing plastic surgery. she says 4 patients died and a doctor named dr. cox worked himself to death. hmm...

mulder says to run dr. cox's photo through a cosmetic program… and it makes dr. franklyn… woah… spoooooky……

now we hear some labored scraping as dr. franklyn is doing knife twisting. carving… something. very sweatily. gross.

mulder’s theory is that dr. cox killed those patients in order to become dr. franklyn through some blood sacrifice to make himself pretty. i mean... did it work? let’s discuss. he looks fine, but not "i killed four people to look this good" fine.

now he’s getting some more tools… and he’s hurting the other doctor, dr. shannon!! with his mind! he didn’t even touch her!

mulder is at dr. franklyn's house with scully and they have their guns. god they’re beautiful. and she’s standing on a pentagram!! that has been inverted!!! 

“they represent the goat of lust attacking heaven with its horns”, he says about the pentagram <- he’s SUCH a nerddddd omfggg

and he wrote in all the names of the patients he killed in his carving!! including dr. shannon!!! uh oh...

and they’re bringing dr. shannon in for surgery, saying she swallowed something.

dr. franklyn is…. cutting into his scalp. i am not looking so don’t worry. 

mulder says do not let them operate on dr. shannon!!!!

oh my goodness, franklyn is just. cutting into his face. and i’m not looking but i am HEARING. the noises that are being produced.

they’re cutting into shannon and bleh. blehhh.

scully bursts in and says stop the surgery NOW!! and they’re all, who tf are you, get out of here!!! but she says i am a DOCTOR you need to LISTEN TO ME!! i love when she does that!

mulder is on the prowl for dr. franklyn. and he sees that he made a pentagram in blood. OH MY GOD HE CUT HIS OWN FACE OFF?? and left it there like a snake shedding it’s skin 😭😭

they pulled a ton of surgical instruments out of dr. shannon… so mulder says franklyn must have failed to complete his ritual….

but he managed to kill some other person who was born on halloween…. okay, that wasn’t a happy ending….

OH! dr. franklyn has a NEW FACE and is now getting a job in LA!

so… he’s just gonna… keep doing successful surgeries for 10 years and then take a little break to go on a killing spree, get a new face, and dip?

well. at least he sticks to a schedule?

um. okay. so what am i thinking here….

well, i did nearly faint many times. i am not looking forward to editing my notes and reliving that. i do not think this is an episode i would give a rewatch based on how i reacted to it.

but, the last few episodes have been super dark, and this one somehow felt… lighter? despite everything. we got some jokes in there and some silly time. and even if it ended on a “oh no, he’s still out there!” reveal, it was somehow less emotionally draining than the last few. 

was it ridiculous? yes. but was it also kind of refreshing after the last two episodes? also yes! which i think is a testament to how dark things have been rather than the quality of this episode. 

it was fine. it didn’t really do a whole lot for me. i mean, interesting to think of plastic surgery as devil worship, i guess, but potentially a reductive take. idk. i guess i don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about these things. 

things i DID like in this episode: that conversation mulder had with scully, where he was sitting on the bed looking up at her like he was going to ask for her hand in marriage or to be best friends forever and ever or talk about the meaning of being alive or some similar topic. it was so terribly tender. also, facts with scully! tell me about controversial drugs!! and mulder, tell me about the symbolism of a pentagram! i love these nerds! that was kind of it, though.

it was an episode. an episode with some good things and some meh things. that’s sort of par for the course. just… next time, less surgery. please. for me?

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Apple Lover | Yandere Epel Felmier x Reader

Epel knew people who loved apples. It is the Felmier’s life blood and family business, heck he liked apples but he’d never met someone like you. Someone who’d ask if anyone wanted any of the apple sauce he was giving you before chugging it like it wasn’t nearly an entire pint. He’d seen the other burlier men in his old town chug it like that after working all day without taking a break but you were just an average student at Night Raven, right? Other than the baffling circumstances in your arrival to said school he couldn’t find any reason as to why you so  aggressively consumed apple products. He knows you do. He’s checked many times:

“Hey my family sent some apple-cider so”

“Gim-sama doesn’t want such dis–”

“OMG THANKS EPEL!!! GOSH I LOVE THIS STUFF”

Or that other time he had a full crate.

“Hey can I have that crate back for–Whoa! WHERE ARE THE OTHER APPLES.”

“Oh sorry Epel I kind of went ham on them. Sorry!”

“There were over a hundred in there!?”

He was both prideful and really concerned you consumed so many of his family’s products. He was well aware of the cyanide properties in the seeds; that usually no one worries about because the number for eating enough of them to activate the poison is really high…like 100…like the amount he’d found nearly gone a week after giving it to you. 

“Oh no worries I avoid the seeds, plus I switch it up with different versions, y’know?”

Oh, he knew he’d been watching you chow down on apples or sipping on apple sauce everywhere. He’d seen you do it in your lonesome of the Ramshackle common room , during class, at lunch, in the library, really just everywhere. 

“You’re worried about the Prefect?” Vil spoke not looking away from his own image in the mirror touching up on makeup.

“I guess I just don’t know if they understand how addicted they are. I mean they seem to really enjoy it but I’m worried they let their obsession run their lives.”

“Well don’t you sound like you're obsessing over them a little? You’ve been yapping to everyone lately about this concern of yours, that's what all the potatoes have been saying.”

Epel snapped up from his previous position, bumping the bottom part of the dresser with his knees before giving an apologetic look to the glaring Vil. Turning to Rook who was happily working behind them Epel spoke.

“Is this true?”

The hunter laughed, squinting his eyes as he spoke. 

 “You have been talking a lot about Trickster…perhaps you do have deeper feelings past just concern?”

A blooming heat exploded onto Epel’s face and subsequently followed by the short-circuiting student. 

“W-what-?!! N-no w-ay!!! I’m not-!Am I? W-wot ‘re ya e-even saying?!”

The rest of their training session was filled with Epel being too flustered and overwhelmed with the possibility of actually being in love. 

___________________________________________________________

When he finally was able to escape Rook’s questioning and Vil’s training, he went to indulge in his favorite hobby. Epel lazed about watching from afar as you happily accepted a crate of apples from none other than Floyd and Azul. As he had overheard, you had discovered a variant of apple-like fruit from the Coral Sea and had come to the Octavinelle trio to be your guide. For someone who was so quick to tell your monster-tenant no more money to cans of tuna but perfectly prepared to buy a whole crate of sea-apples. You all too quickly walked into a shark’s den just to satisfy your apple-cravings and he was worried about you. 

“You know with how (Y/n) eats apples it’d just be so easy to…”

He stopped himself thinking about the words he spoke in the lonesome of his watching area at the edge of the wood. Realizing the implications of what he said he, at first, scolding himself before really thinking about it. 

You so blindly just ate and drank everything that was handed to you as long as it was from an apple or some variation of one. He tried to ignore the dark thoughts that were brewing from that little comment alone.

It just kept popping up with everyone else just knowing you wanted apples. So easily did you immediately trust anyone who so much as waved an apple product in front of your face. He’d seen it so many times Azul making you work for an apple-cider drink, or Ruggie who promises to get you more applesauce if you collect a bunch of dandelions for him. 

It would be far too easy to learn how to inject a love potion.

It was too easy to inject one. 

“Ah, (Y/n) I’ve been trying this new type of apple. Would you try it for me?”

“Sure.”

And like clockwork you took a heft bite of that apple and just as you should your (y/e/c) irises flashed pink. Now he found that when people talked it was you who had recently been speaking about him and when you wavered as if coming to some realization he didn’t mind offering you a cider or applesauce that would have your eyes flashing pink for as long as he pleased. 

[fleshadept]

simultaneously living on my own for the first time & being poor sucks in a lot of ways but i am so appreciative of everything these days. food is so expensive, and it goes bad quickly if you're not paying attention, but it takes months to go bad if you freeze it. i eat a lot of sandwiches and enjoy eggs for breakfast so i bought a spiral-sliced ham which was more expensive than regular ham up front obviously but it's lasted me more than a month and makes me feel fancy to warm up a slice in the pan with my eggs or put it on my sandwich. spices can be super cheap as things go and i've been having a lot of fun adding random ones to my regular dishes to make them even a little better. the things you can do with maruchan ramen (try adding sriracha. oml) is absolutely amazing. good food makes my whole day.

i didn't have a silverware tray (container? standy-uppy-thing?) in the dishwasher when i moved in but something went wrong with the dishwasher and maintenance gave me one when they fixed it! i've never been more excited to load the dishes. it looks so neat in there now. keeping my space clean now that it's my space in general just feels so much more satisfying.

i don't know. a lot of the money stuff sucks and it's stressful but i've been really surprised about how much i've been able to appreciate and enjoy things i didn't before. and finding little things to be way too excited about is so nice

[sneakystorms]

HOW were the vampires sneaky i am so so glad my dearest mutuals are getting into it..

I'm so glad you asked!!! My feelings abt the show are generally positive but a bit up n down in terms of how invested i am in particular episodes or characters and I've been churning it over in my head for a while to figure out what exactly it is that does or doesn't compel me. I did read the first book a few years ago and watched the 90s movie as well so i have plenty of thoughts about how the series compares to the og story (haven't read the other books in the series tho)

I think making the queerness of so many characters overt and bringing it to the foreground so much does WONDERS for the show in terms of themes being commented on, and same goes for making louis and claudia black. Like the way it reframes vampirism as self empowerment and self acceptance, the impetus for lestat's targeting of louis being that he's a brilliant and deserving man forced to hide himself and cower before his white peers... It just makes everything click and make so much more sense than in the book where louis was just some random shmuck... The way becoming a vampire is a deal where you exchange power and self-acceptance for having to hide from the world, and joining a coven is a deal where you gain the love (well, "love") and support of people like you but you can't ever leave mmmm. The commentary 👌👌👌

Basically jenny nicholson once commented on how vampirism is kind of the ultimate selfishness/ultimate assertion of one's right to stay alive and thrive by whatever means necessary, even by hurting other people, and i just think that metaphor makes a LOT more sense with a queer black character than with a white vaguely homoerotic plantation owner. For louis as he is in the show it's so much more of a nuanced thing to become a vampire and i love it.

The cast have their ups and downs but overall i like them a lot! I loved louis's early era when he was trying to exist as both human and vampire, and i think my favourite moments of his are those paradigm shift scenes of high emotion that change the status quo - his confession and turning, his murder of that business partner, his finding claudia, the "you and me" moment if reconciliation.... AHHH THE YOU AND ME..... I think that's my take in general, that I'm into the really big emotional moments and i check out a bit during the "status quo" periods where characters are just going about their lives building tension towards the next breaking point. Whether happy, like the louis/claudia/lestat family life montage, or melancholy, like louis sulking after his fight with lestat, they sometimes fail to keep my attention fully.

Lestat I'm not as into... armand i quite like although i think i would've liked him to ham it up just a liiiiiittle bit more. claudia is really strong, i think her internal conflict is one of the best conveyed ones. I do think making her a teenager instead of however old she was in the book (was it 6? 7? 8?) is a bit of a cop out in terms of examining the tragedy of her vampirism. Like I fully get why they went with a character who can be believably played by an adult actress but it DOES greatly undercut the tension of the original concept. In the book it's kind of dubious whether she would have ever been able to find real, adult love with someone who didn't mind her appearance of a VERY YOUNG CHILD. It was even left kind of vague what her real mental state was - was it possible for her to truly have "the mind of an adult" without physical development? What does that even mean in this situation? The thought experiment of what it would be like to live for several decades in the body of a child was a very interesting part of Claudia's character to me and personally i would have liked that to be explored a bit more thoroughly. But like i said, I totally get that casting an older actress and adjusting the character's age accordingly let the showrunners do things with her writing that would have been off the table otherwise.

Also a major complaint from me would be that I'm just not that convinced by all the really important, really intense romantic relationships that the show kind of revolves around. Even at the peak happiness point of both relationships, i just never really felt like louis and lestat or Louis and armand liked to spend time with each other, especially to the point of considering each other immortal companions lol... But here's the thing, vampiric loneliness is such a huuuuuge factor in why these people cling to each other and we never really get to SEE what that loneliness is like. It only really clicked for me when lestat talked about it during the trial, and that's so late in the game! We never actually see lestat or louis or armand BE LONELY AND SAD, and i think if i saw that it would make me a lot more understanding of why these companionships form. To be fair though i often fail to understand why ppl in media are in love so i might be a bit biased lmao