[ID: a digital redraw of the scene where chuuya shoots dazai in the shoulder. on the top of the drawing is chuuya holding a guy to dazai's head in the red and grey hallways of the prison. on the bottom of the drawing is dazai's pained face. the gunshot is shown stylistically as hectic lines behind his bloody shoulder. over the image is half a quote from goncharov that reads 'if we really were in love you wouldn't have missed.' the signature says dandelion-roots. end ID]
This quote from Goncharov (1973) in relation to soukoku has been haunting me from before I even got to that scene in the anime (the full thing is: Katya- Of course we're in love, that's why I tried to shoot you/ Goncharov- If we really were in love you wouldn't have missed). Violence as a tool for communicating emotions, especially love and hatred, especially love and hatred makes me go feral- how could I not think of the iconic quote that says that katya's miss was a sign of a lack of love/a fake love when chuuya didn't miss? Just... losing it over here.
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I saw a rant about how the back and forth between Fyodor and Dazai is ridiculous at this point and like. I think that’s the point. The point is that one is not actually superior to the other in regards to intellect so they are ALWAYS going to be stuck in this cycle of ‘well I thought of/planned/predicted that!’.
The difference is in their connections and what those connections are made of. I find it fascinating actually that Fyodor thinks he’s won because he STOLE gravity away from Dazai and claimed Dazai didn’t even know how to use it when he had it! The thing is though, Chuuya doesn’t seem to be under Fyodor’s control anymore and he hasn’t ever chosen the people who try to use him like an object over Dazai. And despite the four years of separation (which was longer than their time together) he always came when Dazai expected him to.
And I’m thinking he expects him to now which would ultimately be what tips the scale in Dazai’s favor. Because where Fyodor sees a tool Dazai sees his partner. I’m also thinking Chuuya isn’t the only key to success here and that was why he chose Sigma too (if the points where he thinks about the ADA not using each other is any sort of foreshadowing).
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Just had an ‘accidental time travel’ thought where Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui suddenly wake up in present-day China but find out it’s only them who got sent to the future
and while LSZ keeps calm and lowkey gets excited about all the new things around him, JL straight up has a mental breakdown in public and all everyone sees is some weird kid dressed in ancient clothes, strapped up with a bow and sword and curled up in a ball in the middle of the street while screaming and sobbing for his “jiujiu”
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ik it’s probably a classic case of extrapolating way too much but... the way raph’s character design lines up w his whole arc and role and struggles...
like the fact that he is so so so much bigger than the others. raph is big, raph is strong, raph is steady and sturdy and he can literally pick up his entire family and carry them all at once.
and like, when raph is so big and so strong and such a reliable thing. when raph is the protector, the one calling the shots on missions, the mother hen, the first point of authority. when raph is there, overprotective, when raph (for all that his brothers poke at him not being good under pressure) always always ALWAYS comes through at the end of the day when things are serious, ALWAYS gives it everything he’s got.
his design and his learned role/behaviors in this family are just the perfect storm of why it took up to the season finale to drive home the issue.
so much of the series carries the default energy of “raph will handle it.”
raph will hold up the ceiling above you. raph will throw himself over you and take a hit and get back up and keep fighting. raph has a power that makes him even bigger and draws more attention and makes him able to carry MORE. raph will be the substitute parent. raph will be put into the mentor role through leo’s leadership arc.
and raph is big. he’s built to carry heavy loads. raph is strong. raph is bold and loud and always ready to try to push on. even if he doesn’t know what to do or what he’s doing, he won’t give up and we’ll all pull together and things will turn out okay.
(his room is full of teddy bears. he dipped out on a mission to try to take a picture of a pigeon carrying a slice of pizza. he’s terrified of being alone.
he’s just as much of a kid as his brothers are. he’s just as new and inexperienced with the things happening to them as his brothers are. but for him, for some reason, there’s like this double standard where that becomes a huge glaring flaw.)
idk this got very sloppy and uncoordinated. i’m very in my feelings about raph right now though.
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