#I spent so long rearranging text and stuff in these

[silverpsychedelic]

I wrestled with these for a week BUT, a bunch of lore for Arctic Zora. Can you tell I've been super into speculative biology lately

Arctic Zora (or 'Titans' as they're more commonly known) are a clan of Zora which separated from their mainland ancestors a very long time ago, heading north towards the polar caps. They exist beyond the Hyrule continent and are divided from their inland cousins via a huge sea, but you can find them on travels around the region. They earned the term 'Titan' due to their much larger and far more robust size in comparison to the Zora of Hyrule, and often stick to the colder climates where they are more comfortable and less likely to suffer heatstroke.

These are just a small portion of notes I have on them, and I'd like to do more lore pages in this style!

[jillsandwhichs]

joel miller x reader smutshot collection , chap 3 , husbandly duties

masterlist

Pairing: F!Reader x Joel Miller

Summary: It is yours and Joel's 3rd year wedding anniversary and he makes sure it is spent well

Status of your guy's relationship in this one shot: Married

WC: 5.7k

Type: NSFW

Warnings: Making out, Dirty talk, Slight foreplay, P in V, No protection, Joel cums inside of you, Missionary, Choking, Spitting kink, Joel is soft but not too soft, Clit rubbing & possibly more

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

Work, work, work and more work. This damn job is draining your mental health. You love being an office worker, sure, you get a lot of free time and the work you do isn't hard, at all, but it is so time consuming and insanely boring. You'd kill someone if it meant you could have a normal schedule and go home at a decent time. You miss your old job, it was crappy, but the schedule was great and you got to go home at the same exact time, every single day you worked there.

It is 8:00 PM already and you've been working since 10:30 AM, it's been a terribly long day.

What makes it a billion times worse is the fact it is your and Joels three year anniversary. In total, you've been together for five years, but you guys got married three years ago, it was a wonderful day filled with love and gleam. You miss it and you remember it like it was yesterday. Your dress was long and beautiful, you looked gorgeous. Joel was dashing that day, he is everyday of course, but that particular day he was perfect.

The day was beautiful too. August 13th 2012, your most favorite day. But with your luck, you had to work and Joel did not. You wish you could be home with him at this very moment, having a tasty dinner with him while watching a movie, then afterwards he rearranges your guts...

You've been day dreaming of that today, honestly. You've been horny, ovulation isn't for the weak. You've been craving your husband all fucking day. You'd do anything to be with him right now, you truly would.

Aside from that, you have to focus. You're on your final document, the more you concentrate, the faster it'll get done. Joel is going to pick you up from work, so that's something to look forward too and you can't wait to see him. You can't wait to be beside him again. You want to touch him, and kiss him, hug him, everything. You just miss your husband, so very much. It is definitely a mix of your clinginess, ovulation & sadness.

Alas, you began to transfer all your brain and will power into your work, the sooner, the absolute better.

-

Finally! You're finished. The first thing you did was whip out your phone to text your husband, hopefully the dummy didn't fall asleep. You know his job is also tough on him, he's a contractor, it is very hands on work and it's understandable that he is exhausted more than the average person. You began to type out your message until you officially finished it, then you sent it to him.

"Handsome, I finished working. Come get me. Love you."

You were so ready to be home.

Whenever you have to wait for Joel, you just relax in your office either on your phone or your computer. Luckily, despite this being a plain Jane office job, you have your very own office. It's designed to your liking. When you got it officially, Joel helped you decorate it; He's genuinely a life saver. One time, when he came to pick you up, he came up to your office to help you carry some things down... He ended up having to carry you as well due to your legs being way too wobbly...

You turned your computer off and slightly reorganized your desk top. When you come into work tomorrow, you don't want it to look the same as it does now. This is like a ritual at this point, cleaning up your work space daily. It's a great habit to have. You set your pens and pencils back into their case and you set your mouse pad back in its original position, placing the wireless black mouse on top of it. You made sure your personal spaces looked spotless and your desk was no exception.

Your phone buzzed on the white desk top, Joel messaged you. He never texts back too late. The longest you can recall was twenty minutes and that is because he was working. He's truly a wonder, no man you've met was willing to do such a thing, answering quickly. Your ex prioritized his games over you, it was exhausting but now, you have yourself a real man - Joel.

His message read:

"Alright sweetheart, on my way. I love you too."

The message made your heart melt.

Joel is such a sweet man. He's rough on the edges and cold at times, but he's your baby at the end of the day. You see sides of him that no one else does. His brother, Tommy, when you first met him described him as an asshole but once you got to know him, your perception totally changed. You are grateful for Tommy though, he introduced you to Joel. Without him, who knows where you would have ended up or whom you'd end up with.

Once you two started dating, you had asked Joel what he thought of you when he met you and his response was touching.

"I saw you and knew one day, we'd end up like this. How we are now, I just knew it after getting to know you little by little."

He even repeated those very words in his vows to you on your guy's Wedding day.

Oh how you miss that day - The amount of love and faith passed around that day was joyous. Now, today you get to celebrate it all over again, a tradition you are more than okay with uplifting. Last year, you put on your Wedding dress, Joel his suit, and you two danced around your living room. The little moments like that are precious and sacred. You don't plan to do that this year, you'd rather go home and eat something, but it is a sweet subject.

You found yourself biting on the end of your pen as you thought about him and all the two of you have been through. You're like a school girl who gets her very first crush. You're obsessed with Joel, you'll admit it. It isn't a bad thing, not at all. You're happy to be with a guy who has you all over him. If you weren't, it wouldn't be a very passionate and fulfilling relationship, now would it?

"Gosh." You giggled to yourself, dropping the pen into its case. You stood up and double checked your office - Everything is in check. You, unfortunately, do work tomorrow so you want this office to be pristine when you come back. You may be bored and spent, but you aren't those enough to put yourself through hell tomorrow morning. But, everything seemed well enough.

You decided you'd wait outside for him to arrive. There are benches surrounding the front of the large, industrial building that you could wait on. Usually, you stay in your office and await a message from him but the sooner you're out there, the absolute better.

With your phone, drink and purse in hand(s), you made way out of the office building. The company you work for primarily focuses on having customers purchase things you sell; You work in the department for selling goods such as food, clothes and more. Other departments include things such as outside work and children's toys and wear. This section has always worked best for you and it's HQ is massive, you've always felt important walking into and out of the establishment.

Your office was set on the third floor and you couldn't complain, others were in the sixth or seventh. All you have to do is use the elevator and leave. You won't lie, sometimes you're a bit nervous doing this, in fear of the wrong person being outside when you are as well. You shoved those scary thoughts to the side, wanting to focus on the good and the possibility of greatness.

Exiting your office, you saw one of your coworkers, Leroy, leaving his office too. "Hi." "Hey stranger, you heading out?" "I am. Joel is picking me up." "Good to hear, once again, happy anniversary to the two of you." "Thanks Lee, we seriously appreciate that." Leroy was always a kind soul. He's an older man, he's wise and witty, you've always enjoyed that about him. Joel has always been a bit sketchy about the men you endorse yourself with but Leroys never bothered him. In fact, they've spoken a good few times.

"You leaving as well?" "I sure am, I also won't be here tomorrow." "Why's that?" "My sons wife is having my grandchild tomorrow, I can't wait to meet the little one." Leroy expressed great love for his children and grandchildren. He has three kids, two sons and a daughter. He also has four grandkids, three from his son and this upcoming one from his second son. From the pictures you've seen, they're so stinking cute! "That's amazing Leroy, congratulations." You are happy for both him and the parents. Such a blessing.

Kids was never a topic you and Joel much discussed. You want them someday for sure, but not yet, you want to wait maybe another year or two. Joel is great with children from what you have seen. When he met your younger siblings, he was so gentle with them, even sat down and played with them. Moments like those make you want to have babies sooner but you must wait, it isn't the time... Yet...

The elevator began to desend both you and Leroy down it and onto the first floor where the exit was.

When it opened, you stepped out of it alongside him. The two receptionists said bye to you both.

"I'll see you soon Leroy, have a good time meeting your grandbaby." You said to him with a friendly voice. "I sure will, take care!" Leroy shouted as he got into his truck and drove off into the moonlight.

You were all alone. You sat down on the wooden bench near the entrance of the establishment and waited there. The drive from your home to your work isn't all too bad, maybe ten minutes at the most but Joel tends to speed on the back roads and that gets him here much sooner than normally. You couldn't wait to arrive at home. Something different about you is the smell of places, they bring you different feelings and senses.

At work, you feel normal, just fine & content. The way the atmosphere is at work is boring, you don't have much fun there ever and you truly only like it for its isolation purposes and it's amazing pay. Home smells like Joel, who is your comfort and your joy. At home, you can let loose and be your honest self - Your best version. You have transferred your home into what was once a regular, janky house into a safe space for you and your husband to gladly share.

If you and Joel do have children someday, they'll surely be smothered in affection.

Gazing up at the countless stars in the sky, you tried to pass the time. It felt like ages before Joel actually arrived. You are also just utterly impaitent, you want to be home now. "Ugh." You groaned out, tossing your head back on the bench, a pouty look forming on your face; You texted him.

"Handsome, hurry, I miss you."

That'll get him speeding.

Joel is a smart guy, he is safe but also risky all at once. You worry for him, of course you do, but you trust him with your life. You practically trust him with anything. If he had to perform a transfusion on you, honestly, you'd let him. Joel is your lover and you love him more than he could ever imagine. Some may find it questionable, how much you have faith in him, but you don't at all, it's just how it is when you're in a relationship like your very own.

A buzz came from your phone whilst you were roaming the never ending thoughts that spiral in your head.

"Just entered town baby, now you be a patient girl and wait."

That got you wet, bingo.

Joel being strict has always had you in a chokehold.

"Fine."

And send.

-

That very recognizable black, lifted truck pulled into the parking lot. It's headlights were shining brighter than a diamond as they came through. Joel tinted them, the beam of them dimming as he parked and got out of the truck. He looked as good as ever, your handsome husband. He didn't park too far from the building either, it'd be only a couple seconds to walk to it but Joel is too much of a gentleman to let you amble there alone.

"Hey babygirl." Joel said in his deep, Southern voice as he spotted you. "Hi honey." You stood up, running up to him and jumping into his burly arms. Joel accepted your hug with open arms, a chuckle emitting from him as he held you. "Ya miss me baby?" He squeezed you, kissing the side of your head and getting a whiff of your fruity scented hair - He loves it. "So much." "I missed you too." Joel gruffly mumbled against your neck, pressing kisses to it.

The hug was long and loving. You missed him very much, especially his touch. Your guy's anniversary means the world to you and him, you didn't want to waste anymore time.

"Take me home." You laughed, still being held by him. "Sure thing darlin'." He replied, not putting you down but instead carrying you to the truck. You do have a personal vehicle but it is in the shop right now, so Joel has been driving you to and from work. Even when you do have your car, he'll drive you sometimes just for extra time. It's sweet, truly. Joel opened the passenger side door, the truck light turning back on when he did. The truck smelt great, he must've inputted a new air freshener. "Get in baby." He patted your ass as you got into the truck.

You scoffed playfully, sitting down and buckling in. The smell was actually amazing; The scent was earthy and woodsy - It's definitely Joel's vibe. He then got in after you, an audible grunt being heard from him as he sat down. You couldn't help but smile and admire him. He is wearing a stained blue t shirt with faded blue jeans, it appears to be casual clothes, or his work clothes. He didn't have to work today, yet you did, kind of bullshit.

He started the truck up and began to drive you two home.

"Leroy is having another grandbaby." You started up a conversation. "Is that so? Well, good for him then." Joel responded. He didn't know Leroy as well as you. "Yeah, thought it was cool, the baby being born around our anniversary." You giggled, leaning against the center console and looking at Joel. "Sure. And by the way, happy anniversary baby." Joel added on. He didn't forget, you know that, you two exchanged some kisses and cuddles this morning in honor of it. "I'm sorry you had to work today, on our special day." Joel concluded.

He's such a sweetheart.

"It isn't your fault, honey, it's not really anyones." You commented, taking his free hand in yours. Joel glanced over at you and gave you a hearty smile, knowing how much today meant to you. "I have a surprise for you at home." "You do, what is it?" "Now doll, if I told ya, that wouldn't be much of a surprise now would it?" Joel chuckled, bringing your soft, small hand up to his face and kissing it gently. "Well, you already revealed there's a surprise at home for me." "I did." "So... Wouldn't that mean it isn't much of a surprise?" "Can you just be quiet, my dear?" He teased you, his corners creasing as he bellowed.

Oh that smile and the way his eyes change as he laughs, it warms your big heart. You love seeing Joel happy and well, it makes you feel out of this world. "I love you." "I love you sweetheart." He replied, putting your hand down and instead moving his hand to your thigh. You let out a soft sigh, enjoying his touch. Although, usually whenever he grabs your thigh, it turns into something much more but you won't complain.

You rested your head against the window, looking out at the night sky. It was pretty. Your Wedding night was gorgeous too. It rained that day though, you love the rain but surely not on your Wedding day. You kind of, in a way, hoped it would rain tonight. It would be something special to you. When it was raining that night, you and Joel kissed passionately under the dazzling moonlight, embracing each other as you did. It was so memorable and you often catch yourself thinking about it.

Also, you were very curious as to what the upcoming surprise Joel has for you is. It could be anything. It's obviously for your anniversary, so it has to be wonderful, right? Anything Joel does for you isn't taken lightly, you love it all and cherish it equally. He puts in the effort and that is what matters most to you. You'd just have to wait the car ride out to see what it was.

Joel's hand still rested on your thigh and he'd squeeze it every so often, making you more and more wet. It's not shocking - Joel's touch has always been able to do that to you. You couldn't wait to get home with him, maybe he'd let you have him tonight.

Sometimes he's just too tired and that is understandable, he's a contractor after all, a busy man, you'd never ever pressure him into something he isn't in the mood for. But hopefully, he's in the mood tonight.

-

Pulling into the driveway of your guy's shared suburban home, Joel released a grunt as he parked his truck directly in front of the garage; To him, it was pointless to waste time driving it into it. He took his keys out of the ignition and gave you a quick look of 'C'mon' before he then opened his door, hopping out of the truck. You did the same. As you climbed out of the truck, you saw Joel waiting at the front porch for you. Such a silly man.

You shut the door and ran up to him, a contagious giggle came from you. You were excited, curious on what this socalled surprise was going to end up being. "I'm going to need you to close your eyes." Joel said softly, his hands going to your hips as he caressed them; He plans to hold you as you walk, just for safety measures. "Okay..." You hesitated but closed them shut & tightly, truly not wanting to ruin the surprise at all.

"Alright..." Joel spoke out with his deep, gruff voice. He opened the front door and began to lead you through the house and up to your guy's bedroom. You knew that's where you two were headed considering he had to literally carry you up the stairs. "I'm nervous." "Don't be sweetheart." He kissed your cheek and set you down as you reached the top.

The sound of him opening the bedroom door was heard loud and clear and afterwards, he ushered you into the room. Already, it smelt lovely, like roses. "Mmm, the smell." "Glad you like it, doll." Joel hummed, his hands now going over each eye. "Now, babygirl, you ready?" "Yes, I am." You snorted, your arms resting at your sides. "Ok." Joel laughed, removing his hands and allowing you to finally see what he had done for you and oh, it was magnificent.

All across the bed were rose petals, scattered neatly. The lights were dimmed, causing the atmosphere to seem very sensual. There was also a tiny, red box on the bed that you didn't pick up immediately, but once you did, you took a quick scan of the rest of the room. It was fully cleaned, he actually cleaned for once. The bed was even wonderfully made, for now... On your guy's dresser were lit candles, and that snapped you out of reality.

"You dumbass, did you leave candles lit when you came to get me?" "Hon, it was a sacrifice I was willin' to make." You scoffed. This man sometimes... Although, you couldn't help but titter and the laughter only increased once you opened up the red box. You were surprised, that's for damn sure, but also super happy. Inside was the morning after pill and instantly, you knew what he was implying. "Jesus Christ." You began to laugh hard, too hard, to the point you flopped onto the bed.

Seeing you lose it, also caused Joel too.

"Gosh baby, this is just-" You laughed so hard, you couldn't breath and Joel had to calm you down.

"Alright sweetheart, breathe." He snickered, cupping your face in his larger sized hands. You let out a deep breath, trying to collect yourself but it was hard. This man went out of his way to buy an expensive ass pill just to be able to cum inside of you, such a jack rabbit. "Okay, okay, I'm good." You sat up and rested our head against his lap. "Joel Miller, you're such a funny man." "And Mrs. Miller, you're such a beautiful woman and I'd like you to let me show you just how much I love you tonight." Oh his words...

You sat up, climbing into his lap as fast as you could. You were so happy he was down for this, especially on a night like this one. You encased your arms around his neck as you pulled him in for a deep, long & passionate kiss. Joel's arms went around your back, pulling you as close to him as he could. He longed for this, all damn day and so did you. Your guy's lips moved in a sloppy manner as you made out, just wanting each other ASAP and not being able to remove your hands from one another.

He gripped your ass, grinding you against his lap as he held you. Your pussy only got more wet by the second, each push & each pull made you yearn for him badly. "Joel..." "I know baby." He huffed, going back to kissing you with love. You held onto his scruffy face, your nails scratching lightly against his beard, enjoying how manly he was. His lips felt so heavenly against yours, his have always been the perfect match. Your guy's lips were like puzzle pieces that were finally able to connect.

"Mmm, here." You suddenly pulled from the kiss and began to unbutton your work shirt with the help of Joel's needy hands. He speedily removed it, tossing it to the floor and his singular hand snapping your bra off; You two were getting into it immediately. Joel brought his head down to your breast, suckling on your nipple and in his other hand, fondling the breast beside it. "Oh!" You moaned, tossing your hand back as your fingers roamed through his shaggy hair.

Joel has a huge thing for your tits, he thinks they're perfect.

"My girls." Joel rumbled out, kissing your tits numerous times whilst rubbing them. You giggled as you watched him, he was like a kid with their prized possession. He went back to suckling on them, both of his hands holding your lower back now. You held his head in your hands, practically babying him as he licked your nipples and kissed your breasts. "You're so sexy." You whispered, kissing the top of his head.

Your husband looked up at you, desperation full in his eyes. It is so clear he craves you just as you crave him. He kissed you gently as he flipped you onto the bed, a cute chuckle releasing from you as he did. He laughed as well, seeing you all giddy was always sure to do the same to him. He crawled on top of you, his hands going to the end of his blue shirt, pulling it off with a smile whilst he gazed at you. "Are we just going to fuck with all these rose petals on the bed?" "Adds to it darlin', don't ya think?" He teased, going down to your neck and biting it.

You tittered, holding onto him as he marked his territory all along your neck. "Mmm, need you inside of me." You whined with a giggle. You seriously needed your husband at this point, you needed his member. "Oh, is that so?" "Mhm." You mumbled, looking up at him with soft, doe-like eyes. "Alright babygirl." Joel laughed, leaning up so he'd be on his knees.

His hands went to your waist, his hands fidgeting with the buttons of your tight, formal jeans. You were required to dress nicely, not casual, each day to work. You usually wore a blouse and jeans, which is exactly what you wore today. "Damn fuckin' jeans." Joel grumbled, unbuttoning all three of the tabs before practically ripping them off of you. You squealed, now only in your panties. Joel smirked, the sight of you absolutely jaw dropping.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful sweetheart." Joel praised you, your wetness increased when he did. You lifted your waist up, a groan coming from you whilst you did. You pulled down your underwear and handed them to Joel, expecting that he'd toss them to the side as always but instead, he balled them up and sniffed them, his brown eyes closing as he embraced your scent. "Lord..." Joel hummed, stuffing the panties into his pocket real quick.

"Babe!" You scoffed while giggling, "You never do that." "Can't help myself, you smell good." He responded; He can be so cocky sometimes.

You stared as he removed his jeans. His erect cock flung out from his tight boxers, his pre-cum visible due to the light in the room. You sighed softly as he climbed back on top of you. You held your legs up, knowing he'd eventually place them on his shoulders for more support... And so that he can go deeper inside of you, but that's beside the point.

He adjusted himself into a position that was comfortable for the both of you. Joel was not selfish, especially during love making. He put you before himself, making sure you always feel pleased and for fucking sure making sure you cum first, always. You can't even recall a time he came before you because he's always too worried about your please - Not an issue to you though. "Can't wait to feel ya." Joel mumbled, grabbing his dick and lining it up to your soaked entrance.

You accepted him, accepted every part of him and waited patiently for him to move inside of you.

The tip of his cock teased your entrance as he so slowly pushed himself inside of you. Inch after inch, you couldn't quite make a call as to when he'd stop until a few seconds later. A whopping 7 inches wasn't something to scoff at. "Oh baby." You whimpered, your arms wrapped around his torso and on his upper back. Your hands were flat on it, the heat emitting from his back absorbed onto your hand, bringing a heated feeling to your own body. "So fuckin' tight baby, you feel great." Joel muttered as he stopped himself inside of you.

He gave you a moment to adjust and get used to him. It was not common for you two to fuck without a condom, so it felt different, it felt better. You gave him a nod, letting him know you were ready and that he could move. "Alright baby, tell me to stop if needed." He was always so respectful. Ever since the first time you two had sex, he's been this way, it never changed no matter how comfortable you two got with one another. "Mhm." You nodded, your eyebrows scrunching as he began to slide in & out of your core.

Each movement felt wonderful. He was so careful, making sure you didn't get hurt by his upcoming roughness. Joel is a softie at heart, mainly with you. No matter the circumstances, you come first. "You're squeezin' me, fuck." Joel laughed, his forehead pressed against yours as he fucked your cunt, making you drip onto him. "Oh yes." You moaned, your hands quickly moving to his forearms for better stability. Your nails dug into them, your lip also digging into your lower one. "That'a girl." Joel chuckled, his speed increasing every so slightly.

You couldn't keep your eyes off of him and his body. He's so perfect, in every way, shape and form. You love this man to death. His cock stroked your walls beautifully, each push and pull earning a quiet whimper out of you. You held him close, the warmth of his body only enhancing the experience of this shared love making. "Fuck sweetheart." He grunted into your ear, his breath hot, it was sexy. "What?" You whined out, holding onto his head still. "I feel like I'm gon' cum already." You loved how he spoke to you.

He lifted himself up from the crook of your neck, his eyes on yours as he grinned at you. His pace began to quicken and the force of his hips increased in roughness, you didn't mind, you only embraced it. "Harder Joel." You panted, touching him all over. "Mmm, you're so pretty, such a pretty little sweet thing." Your husband groaned out to you.

The sounds of his manhood slamming against your womanly hood was loud and so lewd. It was very erotic and attractive in a way. The room smelt like floral and sex, two of your favorite things. You could smell the faded cologne on Joel too, your favorite scent he owns. You had on his favorite perfume, hopefully he took notice of that. "Can't wait to cum so deep inside of this pretty little pussy of yours." Joel managed to speak out, clearly so indulged inside of you. The pleasure was taking over him and you assumed this would be the first time he finished first.

As he gawked at you, you whimpered out a squeak as he began to choke you. Of course, it didn't hurt, he was like a gentle giant, making sure it was just a light grip. One hand held both of your wrists down against the bed whereas the other held your pale, little neck. "Just keep starin' at me, I wanna look into those soft eyes as I cum in you." His way of dirty talking was relentless and always brought you closer to the damn edge.

By the look on his face, you could so easily tell what he wanted to do next and he wouldn't have to ask you twice.

"Open that mouth babygirl."

The words made your stomach twist in the most pleasurable, divine way imaginable.

You opened your mouth up for him, a whine releasing from deep inside you as the hold on your neck tightened, along with his pumps becoming more sloppy and reckless. He spit in your mouth, his white salvia dripping into your pretty, pink mouth. He watched, glory in his eyes. This was something Joel was really into and when he had first brought it up to you, you were totally irked by it.

"Uhm, no baby, that's gross." "Give it a shot baby."

And you did, you never regretted it.

You swallowed his spit, your eyes watering as you did, not because you were grossed out or anything but because you were so fucking close to the edge, you could taste it. "Atta girl." He unpinned your wrists now, his free hand going down to your clit; He could tell you needed to cum now.

Gazing into his eyes, your eyes were filled with desire and lust, you longed for him all day and finally, he was giving you exactly what you wanted. His chokehold only brought you more pleasure as his fingers worked their magnificent magic on your nub. "Cum baby." He purred to you, his chokehold now moving into a caressing of your cheek. You couldn't cum yet, you wanted to hold back as long as you could but he wouldn't let up. Rubbing you faster, he said, "Hon, you gotta cum or else I'll finish first." He spoke so sternly, it was the tone you needed.

All around his dick, you came, your back arching. Joel shushed you lovingly as he held you close, still pumping himself into you. "Mmm, such a good girl, you did well." He praised you, his face buried in your hair. He embraced you so sweetly. You could feel him deep inside of you still, the sensitivity heightening, over stimulation occuring. "Please cum." You whispered, wanting him to just finish. "Kiss me then." Joel grunted, smashing his lips against yours. You cupped his face and licked his lower lip, your tongue swirling inside of his mouth now.

With a few more thrusts, Joel came deep inside of you. You could feel his warm seed shooting through you like a fish in water. You moaned loudly, loud enough for Joel's eyes to widen, then for a chuckle to come out afterwards. "Dear God." You sighed softly, coming down from your high and from the feeling of him - He recovered rather hastely.

Joel pulled out of you and grabbed a random T shirt of his, cleaning the two of you up with it.

"You best not wear that after you just wiped us off." "Imma wear it." Joel shut down your statement, you opened your mouth in disgust, but deep down it was pretty hot of him.

"Anywho, happy anniversary doll." Joel grunted, plopping down beside you and pulling you closer towards him. "Happy anniversary, Joel." You kissed his nose and soon, the tired man was out like a bulb.

[0san-ta0]

I Wish I Could Forget About You| g. clarkey (Part 2)

synopsis ★ george and y/n have been on 'break' for a while, leaving them both miserable and reflective. when they finally meet again the heart finally gets what it wants.

pairing ★ fem!reader x george clarkey

author's notes ★ hi! hope you're having an amazing day/night! sorry for the long wait life's been pretty hectic but I hope you enjoy!! <33

it had been a month since you sat in your living room and watched george drag his stuff out of your apartment. you had to be honest with yourself, the first two weeks were hell. of course you had partially become accustomed to george not being around but, back then there was the tiny thought in the back of your mind that he would return to you. now as the days kept moving you started to think that maybe he never would be back. your time was made even worse as george hadn't stopped texting and calling the entire time and you were stupid enough to listen to his voicemails which left you in absolute shambles.

he begged you to take him back, he begged for you to atleast let him hear your voice or to atleast look at him. the day he left he returned to his shared apartment where he walked past his friends without as much as a hello and holed himself up in his room. the boys could feel the sadness emanating from him as his door slammed shut and they could only imagine what he had went through. george sat on the floor infront of his bed and cried, for the first time in years he let tears flow down his cheeks. he hadn't realised how badly he fucked up. how his actions towards you had hurt you so much. he didn't blame you for leaving, he couldn't blame you for leaving. but god, the two weeks were the worst he had ever had in his life. not being able to see your face, to touch your skin, to even just smell your perfume was driving him mad. coupled with the immense bullying he faced from all his friends after he relayed the events from the night before, his life was horrible.

both arthur's were your biggest advocates when george started ranting to them about your decision. they both had been big in reminding him that he needed to make sure that he was giving you adequate love and attention because you were amazing to him. now it was them drilling it into his head that in this case he was absolutely in the wrong and that all they could advise him was to apologise to you and try to take accountability. but it was hard to apologise when you refused to even read his texts. he needed to try though because without you it felt pointless living. after the second week he decided that he would give you space to think and process what was happening and honestly, he hated it even more than just being away from you.

from your perspective, you were equally or even more miserable. you were second guessing your decision, wishing only to kiss and make up with george. the voice in the back of your head reminding you that you need to stand your ground and get a decent relationship. putting aside your morals now, wasn't going to help the situation or get george to miraculously change his ways.

you spent your days wandering around your apartment rearranging everything, hoping it would erase the memories. but it only ended up being a sick joke as everything you touched made you remember george. the couch where he would lay in your lap whilst you watched your favourite movies or the kitchen where he would place you on the counter and kiss you senseless. you missed his you touch, his scent, his presence, you missed everything about him.

a knock sounded on your door and you turned your head to stare at it. a groan escapes your lips as you stand, sulking towards the door. leaning forward you look through the peephole and your eyes are met with a familiar head of blonde hair.

"y/n, please. I know you're there. I just....." he trails off taking a breath, "I just need to talk to you. please, I can't take it anymore."

his voice through the door was muffled but you could hear the hesitation in his voice. through the peephole you watched as his shoulders slumped and ran a hand through his hair.

before you have the time to register what you were doing, your hand reaches forward to unlock the door. outside george's head perks up and comes face to face with you. his eyes are bloodshot and puffy, his skin blotchy and red. your heart felt heavy as you stared at his disheveled appearance, regretting every decision she had made leading up to this moment.

he opened his mouth to speak but before he could say a word you put up your hand to stop him. "george?" was all she could muster before you felt tears threatening to fall again.

"sorry for showing up unannounced. I just really needed to see you, honestly life's been horrid without you. and I know that you leaving was all my doing but all I need is a minute of your time to apologise. if after that you don't want to take me back then that's fine but please just listen." he sputters out, eyes burning into yours.

you give him a simple nod of your head and he continues. "I've spent the past few weeks listening to arthur giving me shit about how I acted towards you and I can tell you now that the way I acted towards you was absolutely disgusting. you have every right to hate me but I just need you to know that I'm sorry. and I know that sorry can't even begin to fix what we had but i just need you to know that I understand what I did and I promise to you that I will never ever let you become a second place in my life. I promise that if you forgive me that I will never ever take you for granted again because being without you has been the worst experience of my life and I never wish to experience.."

then your resolve snapped and all you could do was lean forward to press your lips to his, effectively cutting off his rant. his arms snacked around your waist and your arms found their way to his shoulders. you'd missed moments like these, moments where it felt like you were the only two people in the world, where you felt like wanted and needed.

pulling away you stared into his eyes for a brief moment. "I missed you too george. But, if you think for a moment that I will ever let you hurt me again and be as forgiving as I am now then you're sorely mistaken."

he gazed at her, nodding quickly, "thank you for giving me another chance. you have nothing to worry about and If you ever believe that I'm not loving you enough then you can leave, no questions asked."

[roxygen22]

Still Here (Chapter 4)

Summary: Timothée invites you and Madison out to the lake.

A/N: This Timothée variant is so dad-coded that I'm falling in love with him myself.

Catch up on previous chapters here.

You spent the next few days helping your mother clean out and rearrange your old room to be livable once again instead of a dedicated craft space. You checked your phone constantly the first couple of days after your lunch with Timothée, but slowly resigned yourself to the fact that he may not reach out after all. You wouldn't blame him if he had changed his mind. The two of you hurt each other pretty badly all of those years ago and were practically strangers again thanks to time and distance.

On the fifth day, as you were perusing job ads in the local newspaper, you heard your phone ding. You stared at the device for a moment in disbelief. Was it going to be a message from him, or just another spam text that gets your hopes up? You flipped it over and spotted:

"Want to go out to the lake on Saturday?"

You bit your lip and grinned, hugging your phone to your chest. Finally.

"Sounds fun! Let me see if my parents are available to hang out with Maddy." "She's welcome, too."

Wow. You weren't used to that. Your "friends" in California weren't much on kids tagging along on your outings. It got to a point where you didn't go out much at all because getting a sitter was too expensive.

"Really? Thanks! I think she'd enjoy getting out of the house." "Of course. Let's meet at my place early around 7am so we can have some fun before it gets hot. Do you remember how to get here?" "As long as you are still on Hawk Road, I can manage ;)" "Yep. See you in a couple of days."

<><><><><>

Saturday morning finally arrived. It was hard to convince Madison to get out of bed, but with some persuasion (i.e. favorite breakfast) she was up and dressed relatively quickly. You went through your verbal checklist to ensure you had everything you both needed for day of fun in the sun:

"Phone charger, check, snacks, check, cooler of drinks, check, sunscreen, check, spare clothes, check. Alright, I think we have everything. Let's load up!" As expected, you were able to find Timothée's place with ease. He had a small house on the same land as his parents. You had spent enough time there as a teenager that you still knew the route like the back of your hand.

Timothée was already outside packing stuff into the bed of the truck when you arrived. He turned and waved as he heard your car make its way down the gravel driveway. Once you stopped, he walked up and opened the door for you. Another gesture you weren't used to anymore.

"Good morning!" You looked up at him from your car's seat and smiled. He hugged you once you stood.

"Morning, [Y/N]." He pulled back to look at your face, smiled again, then looked to the side as he spotted movement behind the car. "Hey, Madison!"

"Hey," she replied flatly as she walked up to the two of you. You pulled the girl into your side.

"Mornings aren't her favorite. She'll warm up eventually." You looked down to give her that "mind your manners" look.

"That's alright. I'm not a morning person either, unless I'm up for something fun. Like today!" Timothée said cheerily. That's when you noticed something connected to his truck.

You leaned around him and exclaimed, "You have a boat now?!"

He chuckled. "I did grow up a little bit while you were away, [Y/N]."

You laughed awkwardly, but then quickly froze when you realized, "Oh no, we don't have life jackets. I didn't know, so I didn't plan for..."

"Don't worry, I already thought through that. I had an extra adult one on hand and borrowed a kids' life jacket from the neighbors. By the way, they have some kids around Madison's age. I think their youngest may even be in the same grade in the fall. They want to meet you both."

"Oh, it would be so great if Madison could at least know one other kid when school starts up. Are they new in the area?"

"Relatively. They moved in about five years ago," he replied.

"Ah, I see. I have a lot of catching up to do," you noted. You looked down at your daughter and squeezed her shoulder, "And we have new friends to make."

"I may not even still be here when the new school year starts, remember?" Madison grumbled.

"Well, it doesn't hurt to have some friends around when you come visit your grandparents, though, right?" Timothée chimed in.

She shrugged. "I guess not."

"Right, well, back to the fun at hand. Before I saw the boat, I was going to offer that we all pile in my car since there is more space. We can just follow you over there instead," you stated.

"Nonsense. We can all fit in my truck. Here, let me put your things in the back." You opened the trunk and allowed him to transfer your bags and cooler.

As he walked away, you bent down to talk to Madison quietly. "His truck only has one row of seats. Are you okay with sitting in the middle between us?" Just because you had known Timothée most of your life didn't mean she would (or should) be automatically comfortable around him.

"Sure, I've never ridden in a truck like this before, or in a boat!" You could tell she was starting to perk up. She ran over when Timothée opened the heavy passenger door of the old blue truck and climbed inside eagerly. "Whoa, we're so high up compared to your car, Mom!"

Once you followed suit, Timothée shut the door and ran around the front to the driver seat to join you. "Alright, everyone buckled up?" he asked. You and Madison nodded. "Then let's go!"

As he drove, you pointed out some of the places from your childhood. This triggered some reminiscing on Timothée's part about some of the shenanigans the two of you got into, which made Madison giggle. She seemed to enjoy hearing about some of your irresponsible moments. Hearing her laugh again was like music to your ears. You looked over at the two of them as they laughed together. Even though it was at your expense, you couldn't help but smile. Maybe this is what it could have been like had you stayed, the two of you together with a child in between.

Your arrival at the lake interrupted your reverie. Soon the three of you were out on the water and heading for a cove Timothée liked to frequent. Madison sat at the front of the boat with you close behind. She was nervous at first, gripping the edge of the boat, but quickly loosened up. Her long blonde hair flowed behind her as she faced into the wind. She looked back at you with a grin and yelled, "It feels like I am flying!" You laughed and waved, then looked back at Timothée, who was watching the two of you with a soft smile...

...which quickly turned into a mischievous grin. "Watch this!" he shouted. Now out on open water, he opened the throttle on the motor. The nose of the boat raised out of the water with increased speed. This time, you were the one gripping the edge of your seat while your daughter screamed, "Woohoo!" with both hands in the air. You could hear Timothée laughing behind you.

Much to Madison's disappointment, Timothée had to slow down as you neared the cove. When you approached the shore, he turned the motor off and jumped out to drag the boat to the bank. The girl jumped from the boat to the sand. "That was awesome!" she exclaimed as she shucked her lifejacket.

Timothée offered his hand to help you down then grabbed the bags and cooler. "Glad you're enjoying yourself, kiddo. Now, can you help me find a spot to set up our stuff?" he asked.

Madison ran up a small hill and quickly spied a dry grassy space to lay out the blankets. "Over here!"

"That's perfect, Maddy." You laid out a blanket. "Why don't you sit here, take your shoes off, and put sunscreen on, then you can go wade around while I get everything else set up. But no swimming until one of us can join you."

Madison rolled her eyes. "Okayyyy..."

You raised an eyebrow. "Or I could make you sit here all by your lonesome while Timothée and I swim, if you're going to be like that."

"No, no, I'm good. Shallow water only." She gestured to cross her heart then ran back down the hill.

Timothée set the cooler down beside you. "I know it wasn't part of your plan years ago, but you're really good at that."

"What's that?" You gave him a questioning look.

"The whole mom thing. You seem to have a knack for when to give her space and freedom, and when to rein it in. Oof, and that eyebrow raise. Even I stopped in my tracks."

You laughed. "Oh just wait until I have to break out her middle name. That's when it's really serious, Timothée Hal Chalamet." He playfully shuddered. "But, uh, thanks. I feel like I fail at it all the time. Especially these last few months. Parenting is supposed to be a two person job, you know. Or more. Like they say, it takes a village." You dropped your head to prevent him from seeing the tears welling up in your eyes.

Timothée reached out to lift your chin. "I think you'll find a village here to help you, if you give them a chance." He brushed a stray tear from your cheek with his thumb.

Before you could respond, Madison interrupted with a squeal. He dropped his hand and cleared his throat as you quickly turned to investigate. "A fish touched my leg!"

You both chuckled. "I guess we better get down there," you said. You both undressed down to your swimwear and joined her. The three of you played and swam for hours. Once Timothée caught you by surprise by grabbing your waist, hoisting you out of the water, and throwing you back in. Madison giggled when you came back up spluttering, then asked to be thrown next.

This continued for several rotations until he was worn out. Both you and he needed a break. Madison was still going strong but was willing to come back into the shallows if it meant staying in the water.

Timothée sat beside you on the blanket as you dried yourself off. You could tell an idea dawned on him by the look on his face.

"Is it alright if I let her drive the boat around a little when we're back in open water? With help, of course?"

"Sure. That should be incentive enough to get her out of the water." You paused. "Thank you for today. I haven't seen her smile and laugh this much in months. It's all been so hard on her."

"Oh, think nothing of it. I come out here all the time to get away from life for a bit. Based on what you told me at lunch the other day, you hadn't had a chance to just stop and have some fun. I'm glad I could offer that."

"You...you're being so sweet to me."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, we never talked about the way we ended things. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you weren't important to me."

"No, I'm sorry. I should have been happy for you. Instead I selfishly focused on what I was losing versus what you were gaining. After some time, when I was able to see past my own hurt and look at things more objectively, I realized how incredibly brave you were to pack up and chase your dreams," he replied.

"I didn't reach them, though," you said sadly.

"Yet. You still have time," he said matter of factly.

You scoffed. "I appreciate the vote of confidence, but life is too crazy right now to even think about finishing school."

"Well, just don't lose sight of it. K?" You nodded. "So shall we pack up and head back?" He stood and offered you his hand.

"All good things must come to an end, sadly," you replied, allowing him to help you stand. The two of you folded up the blankets and hauled the stuff back to the boat.

As you predicted, Madison whined when she saw what was going on. "I don't want to go yet!"

You smirked and looked over at Timothée. "I got this," he muttered to you under his breath. "Hey, kiddo, would you want to go if I let you drive the boat?"

"Really?!"

Timothée nodded. "Only when we get out in open water, but yes, I'll show you how to steer."

Madison looked at you with big puppy dog eyes. "Can I really drive it, Mom?"

"Hmm," you put your finger and thumb on your chin to look deep in thought. "I suppose so."

"Yes!" She jumped up and down and pumped her fist in the air.

"Now go get your shoes and lifejacket back on," you instructed. You all loaded up in the boat and set on your way. Madison was visibly vibrating with excitement as she sat beside Timothée next to the motor.

"Ready?" he asked once out of the cove. She nodded emphatically. "Alright, we're not going to go as fast as we did on our way out here, ok? Now, you have to face forward, but put your hand here on the handle behind you. Good. You will need to push or pull the handle in the direction you want to go. If you want to head right, push right. Left, pull left."

"Got it. Right is right, left is left."

"Ok. I am going to twist the handle to get us going again. You focus on where we're heading." She looked at him very seriously and nodded. Timothée slowly increased the speed. Madison looked nervous for a brief moment as she experimented with how far to push or pull to get the boat to move.

"You're already a pro!" Timothée shouted.

"Look Mom, I'm doing it!" She beamed. It was a beautiful sight. You pulled out your phone and took their picture. You made a mental note to send it to Timothée later.

Madison steered the boat almost the entire way back to the boat ramp, and then Timothée took over. After he expertly brought the boat to rest at the dock, you and Madison unloaded your belongings while he got the truck. After loading up and heading out, Madison fell asleep against your shoulder before you even got to the highway. You rested your cheek on her head, reveling in the closeness. She didn't come to you for cuddles like she used to.

The girl stayed asleep even once you arrived back at Timothée's house. He gently picked her up and carried her to your car.

"Thank you for your help," you said softly as you stood by the car door. "And thank you again for today."

"I enjoyed it. Hopefully we can do it again sometime this summer."

"I'd like that, and I think it's safe to say she would, too." You grabbed the door handle and turned. "Hey, uh, want to grab dinner sometime this week?"

Timothée smiled. "Yes."

<><><><><>

Chapter 5

Masterlist

Tag List:

@croatianprincess

@bluizh

[writingdotcoffee]

New in Writing Analytics: The Draft Library

I haven't posted much recently, and this is why. I've been working on a massive new feature for Writing Analytics. It took way longer than I expected, but it's ready now. And I'm so happy with how it turned out.

Previously, the app only had a chronological list of all your writing sessions. This works fine when you work on a single project, mostly first drafting. However, when you write a lot of stuff, it's easy to lose track of what you did when.

The thing is, people write a lot of stuff in WA. This feature was badly needed for a long time — my first sketches date back to August 2022. I'm glad I didn't build it back then because the idea wasn't fully formed yet. I found the right solution a few months ago and started working on it.

Introducing the Draft Library

One great thing about the library is that it's pretty self-explanatory. It's where your projects and drafts live. Projects behave like folders. You can drag them around to rearrange them. Click on a project to see the drafts inside.

When you open a draft, you'll see its text and some basic stats. Figures like the word count and how much time you spent working on it across all your writing sessions.

Creating new sessions has also changed. I broke the form down into a few steps. It's now way easier to select a project and join a challenge.

This brings me to my favourite new feature: colour coding! You could always set colours for projects, but this is mainly to distinguish them on your dashboard.

Now, you can colour-code drafts in the library as well. Make published drafts green and drafts that still need work red?

Or, when working on a more complex story, you could colour-code different chapters based on the PoV characters or track interweaving threads of the narrative. The possibilities there are endless!

If you'd like to give this a go, you can sign up here (it's free for two weeks).

Coming Up Next

I'm always working on new features for the app. Right now, I'm updating the version history. Every time you create a session, Writing Analytics makes a copy of your draft. You can go back in time and see all the previous versions.

I'm also working on an export feature to the docx format so you can move your work to Google Docs and send it to your editor when you finish drafting.

[bomberqueen17]

a week

hoo boy it has been A Week.

i keep thinking that i haven't worked all that hard this week really, but then i think about what's been going on, and like, yeah ok, i have done a lot. i've been really really tired every night. i've had almost no free time. i thought about going to see the barbie movie since everyone is, but i really truly simply just did not have time. behind the cut is just me sort of loosely recounting this week, minus the hospital adventures. (My finger is healed, if weirdly itchy in one spot, and I've got four more days of antibiotics about it?)

i spent time every day over at dude's aunt's house with his mom. i hadn't thought she'd need me thursday but then she texted to ask when i was coming, lolsob, so i got my laundry hung out and went over. i just hadn't asked, and i had assumed she'd mention it, and had built it up that i was going to get stuff done for myself that day. but then i didn't. i only went over there for a couple of hours, but it wore me out.

today we were only there for maybe an hour, not quite, and dude came too and we got a bunch of stuff removed. i keep not quite believing there's more. but there's more. there's always more.

i spent thursday afternoon and all but about an hour and a half of friday cleaning my own basement. and my own basement is not nearly so good. it's awful actually. there's so much shit that i put away not very carefully and it's wrecked now and honestly why was i keeping it anyway, and i need to just-- get rid of it, and i don't.... know... how... it's exhausting.

and i know, I know! what would make it so much easier, is that so much of the shit I have hoarded, not to put too fine a point on it, is stuff I want to use to make things, and if I just had like. IDK like maybe a week, let's say. During which I could just. Lay out and work on a bunch of projects with no other obligations. I know what would happen is I would realize that a lot of these carefully-hoarded things I've set aside to craft with are garbage really and my time would be better spent working with better materials. And then I'd throw them out! I know this sounds like wishful thinking but it has actually happened several times, I think I'm finally good enough at the things I want to do as hobbies that I feel able to let go of things that haven't worked, let go of things that aren't ideal, etc. We found out where all the textile recycling places are while clearing out Auntie's dragon-hoard of fabrics, and now I know, and I could let stuff go to that, I know I could. They take old shoes! I could do it.

I just don't have the time, which is frustrating. And so a lot of the cleaning I did is just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. but those deck chairs are rearranged now, and the crucial thing is that when the movers come to take away our broken dryer and poorly-functioning washing machine, and give us Auntie's working ones instead (her washer is even OLDER than my nearly-unusable one from the 70s, it's kind of amazing, but ilke, you know what, why not, it would be amazing not to have to stand there holding the knob down the whole time it fills) they will be able to get in and out easily and we won't be paying them $225/hr to shimmy around my piles of junk. The front of the basement is now just like. Well I even mopped the floor, ok, so, if that means anything.

It doesn't, except to me. But there it is.

I am so tired. We got the guest bed taken apart; we're getting a fold-out couch in there instead, from Auntie's house, so that the room is more usable as an office. We'd been discussing that change for a long time. I was dreading to find out what's under that bed but it turns out almost nothing, refreshingly. Two strange boxes that contain things my sister left there when she lived in that house in 2007, but apart from that, just a whole lot of dust. Now that that's cleaned up, probably Dude's allergies will be better actually.

I knocked off work at 4:30 pm and took a shower and then we went out to dinner, and I made dude come for a walk with me around a local park, to do a Pokemon Go thing. He was amused. I asked him if he was having fun and he said "I have put myself into a place where I am enjoying this" which is familiar, honestly; I do that all the time. I realize a thing is just what's happening so I decide that I'm going to enjoy that however I can manage to, and usually it works.

I did get a tiny bit of writing done this morning, too, so there's that. But mostly this week was spent going through things and clearing out Dude's aunt's house. And that's what it is.

I'm headed back to the farm tomorrow. I need to work out how to cram things into my car effectively. I believe in myself. It'll be fine.

I'm so tired, and it's a chicken week coming up so I need to get my shit together. It'll be fine. I'm fine. God I could really use a whole day just-- mostly in bed. Wouldn't that be something! No I'd get too anxious. But a day reading. OMG Martha Wells put a new book out like a month ago and I haven't even bought it. Haven't even read an excerpt or summary. Haven't even looked at it. What would it be like to have time for that!

Someday.

[pbandjesse]

I did not go to work today. And I am really glad I didn't. I felt horrible. Not as exhausted as yesterday. But my whole body felt dizzy and bad and I was not having a good time. Jess thinks it was/is my blood sugar. Because every time I ate I would feel better for a bit. It was frustrating for sure.

I didn't sleep terribly. Sleeping with the long cat pillow has been helping a lot and I am not waking up in as much pain. But I felt very bad in every other way when I woke up.

James wasn't sure if I was going to go to work so they were waiting for me to get up. But when I let them know I had texted Alexi that I wasn't going to come in, they came and laid with me. Held me for a while. It helped.

I would eventually get up. But I just felt so out of it. I barely recognized myself in the mirror. My eyes just didn't look right. I took a shower and brushed my teeth and got dressed. But I just felt. Gross. Bad. Weak.

I would go downstairs and had cereal and I was sure that would help but it did not. James would leave to go to the dump to get rid of some of the styrofoam and larger boxes in the basement. And would hit up the hardware store to get a bracket to affix the shelf that Cate and Ross gave us.

And while they were gone I just tried to rest. I brought Crabcake and Sweetp outside and laid on the porch swing. I had some strawberry cranberry juice. I tried to just gently rock and tried to not feel so bad.

I would try very hard to accomplish a few things today when I would get a small burst of energy. The first half of the day this did not go well. I would go in the studio and we are rearranging so that James can move their desk and stuff down there. And so I wanted to start putting the books on the shelf so we can move the trunks and make the space for the desk. And I would get one tote bag of books done, have to lay down on the floor because I was so dizzy. Do another bag. Laid down. Just over and over until they were all done. Then went outside again.

James came home and would accomplish a few things. Bracketing the shelf. And I was outside feeling horrible. I brought a blanket out with me and was trying to find a video to watch but I was only finding 8 minute ones and I was just having a very hard time.

James would come outside to wrap the flowers from last week to dry. And I asked for a zofran, a Zyrtec, and a hashbrown dressed up like a baked potato. And they would jump right into that.

And it helped. It wasn't a perfect fix, but it did help. And I loved my hashbrown. It would have only been improved by a fried egg. I would actually have James make me this hashbrown a few hours later. It was so good.

Eating did help. And James would go for a bike ride. And while they were gone I kept trying to accomplish things.

I sat in the studio and sewed the sleeves of a few shirts. And moved the trunks to the other side of the room. I'm actually really excited about the layout of the room right now. There are still some changed we are going to make but I'm really pleased right now. And it would only be better later when James moved their desk in.

I spent a long time working on resetting my doll house. I took everything out and organized it. And then I used museum wax on everything so nothing will rattle or fall over. And I'm really happy with the update. I want to do a little bit of holiday decorations. Some mini Halloween and Christmas. I think it'll be fun. But I'm not in a rush to figure that out. It was just fun sitting and doing this task. And it was the best I had felt all day.

When James got home I was finishing the doll house. Getting the calico critters into place. James would work on bringing the desk downstairs. And I finished the dollhouse and got it set in the window. I hope passerbys enjoy it.

James would work on setting up the desk. And I made a shelf space for them in the new book shelf. And then went back upstairs to lay down.

James would bring me that second hashbrown. And made themselves pasta. And I tried to rest but I found it very hard.

It was a good thing I didn't fall asleep though because I had forgotten my rhumatologist telehealth appointment. Oops.

But it ended up taking absolutely forever again. Almost a full 50 minutes behind schedule. I called 10 minutes after my appointment time to make sure I wasn't wrong and that it was supposed to be in person. But nope they were just running late. I was getting pretty annoyed but the staff and the doctor are all so nice I get very very disarmed after I got off the phone with them. But it was a good conversation. I think I did a good job explaining what was up. My joints aren't bothering me to bad right now, but I think that I'm probably just not noticing it because I have so much other stuff going on.

But I felt a little better after that.

James was done putting laundry away and would move their dresser into our bedroom. And I hated it. It wasn't that it was in our room but it didn't fit where James put it and it made the whole space uncomfortable. I had to reassess it. But I was ready to get something to eat for dinner.

James took us to Jimmy John's. And it was honestly a really nice meal. We ate it there. And I was really craving the bread specifically. And it was a nice little meal together. We talked and enjoyed each other's company. I was feeling a lot better.

When we got home James was working on baking bread. And I came upstairs to look at the furniture. I was able to move my desk and the one storage box and it all worked a lot better. James shook their head at me for moving the furniture by myself. But I am very pleased with how it looks.

Next step is going to be sorting through baby/child things and starting to layout the backroom for that. I know it's still early so we aren't doing a ton but we are at least making some plans. And it feels good to have something to focus on.

I would eventually take a shower and washed my hair. I have been double washing my hair after I heard that if your hair doesn't foam you should wash it again, that it's because there's to much oil, and it's interesting how much it foams the second time! Makes me feel clean.

And now I am in bed. Resting. I am really hoping to go to work tomorrow. We are having a meeting about FOP (friends of puhtok) and how to get more people involved. I have some suggestions. I hope it's a good meeting and we have some kind of plan. Because it's a lot of older people. And they aren't great at getting more people involved.

And then I'm doing the printshop at the museum and I hope it's fun. It's supposed to be a pretty busy night. Big party. I just hope I feel more normal tomorrow. I haven't enjoyed how I've been feeling. It's scary to be so nauseous and weak.

Now though it is time to sleep. I love you all. Until next time. Take care of yourself!!

[gladoswantscake]

Bearer of Bad News || David Mason

Warnings: Spoilers after the mission Suffer With Me

A/N: Holy heck it’s been a year since I properly wrote a oneshot or wrote anything (besides the very short bo2 headcanons). No joke, but I believe I’ve had this oneshot in my drafts for over a year 💀 but it’s about time that I finish it up and post it. My mental health hasn’t been well for the past several months. I’ve been dealing with some serious stuff from my last relationship, but I’m getting the help that I need. I hope things will get much better from here on out. Anyways, enjoy.

Available on Wattpad // AO3

Another night all by yourself. It’s been a while since you and David spent the night together. The two of you kept tabs on each other every evening. The phone calls would last longer than twenty minutes. There was always something new to talk about from David while your life was the same since he left. David encouraged you to go out more often rather keeping the same work and then home routine everyday.

“I worry about you, David.” You sit on your bed with your phone to your ear. “I worry that one day you won’t return home.”

“There’s no need to worry about that ever happening.” He pauses. “There’s been one thing that’s been on my mind for a while... Do you remember how you always talked about wanting to start a family?” David’s voice grows with excitement.

With David being away from home most of the time, the two of you agreed to wait awhile until the time was right. A large grin appears on your face as you nod in response to his question. “I remember.” 

"Well after this mission, I plan to settle down with you.”

“That’s great. I’m happy to hear that and happy to know that I’ll be seeing you more often.”

“And I can’t wait to run my hands all over that lavish body of yours.” He chuckles lightly. “Anyways, I got some good news. I’ll be able to come home tomorrow for a few days.”

“Tomorrow? I haven’t cleaned or done anything yet! I mean I’m really happy, but the house is a mess.”

“I understand that, but it can’t be too bad, right?”

You glance around messy bedroom. It was messier on your side than David’s. “All that I’ve been doing is working and going straight home. I haven’t really had the time to do much since I have hardly any energy at the end of the day.”

“No need to worry about it. Besides I was planning on taking you out once I get back in town. You decide which ever nice restaurant you want to go to. Or if you don’t want to go anywhere, we can stay home. Tomorrow night will be all about you.”

The thought of you dressing up and going out into town made you feel like life was worth something to look forward to once again. “I’ll decide on something once when you get back.”

“Sounds good. Go get some rest now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

(The next day)

The dreadful heat wave finally died off in the late June summer evening. You just finished deep cleaning the whole house to prepare for David’s return home after being away for several months. 

Anytime he’ll be back. You killed some time by jumping into the shower and taking your time to clean yourself up and put some comfy clothes on and waited for his arrival.

Some time has passed now. Whatever was on TV made you grow bored and impatient. It must be the traffic. You checked the time on your phone: 9:57 p.m. You sent him a short text to check up on him. As much as you don’t like attempting to make phone calls or message him while he’s on the road, you worried. It’s been months since you’ve last saw each other, and he was only going to be in town for a few days.

The message you sent was read by him. A wave of relief. Then a message popped up.

“I won’t be home for another 20 minutes. I’m sorry it’s taking so long. I’ll get there as soon as I can. Love you.” The text read.

The amount of cleaning and rearranging the house all day made it impossible for you to stay awake any longer. You turned off the TV and made your way to the bedroom. Not long after you laid in bed, the sound of a car engine grew louder from outside. He was finally home.

Soft footsteps made its way towards the bedroom and a quiet creaking sound of the bedroom door opening. The bed sinks from the opposite side of you and a hand lays on your shoulder.

“Are you awake?” The quiet voice made you open your eyes. You slowly shifted your body over to see David leaning over you. His hand moves to your hair and his thumb strokes your forehead.

“I am now.” You respond with a tired smile. “I’d thought that you’d be here earlier.”

“I would have,” He leans in to give you a kiss. “But something got in the way.” He sighs, standing up to remove his jacket. “I went to go visit Woods today before I left.”

“Everything went well between the two of you?” You sat up to watch him put his handgun in his nightstand drawer.

David slowly closes the drawer. “For the most part.” He looks at you. You could make out that his mood changed by the look of his downhearted face in the dark bedroom. For as long as you’ve known David, he wasn’t the best at lying, but he was good at hiding his emotions from you. This time, he didn’t bother hiding them.

“Did something happen today, David? You seem upset.”

He shook his head. “I’m not upset. It’s just... been a long day is all.” He gives you a reassuring smile in attempt to mask his sadness.

You didn’t buy his excuse. “I know you’re not okay.” You get out of bed and walk over to him. Your hands reach his face, pulling his face to look at you. His eyes were glistening. He wanted to speak but it looked like he was going to break down any second. “What happened?” You ask.

He wipes his tears with the back of his hand. Every word that came out of his mouth as he tried to speak was choked sobs, but you managed to catch was Woods and killed him. You’ve never seen him like this ever.

As soon as you ushered him to the bed he broke down, digging his face into your stomach as he latched onto your waist. “There’s no need to say anything right now. Just let it all out and tell me later.” Your hands run across his clothed back and up to his head to let your fingers run through his hair.

It felt like so much time has passed after he broke down. “David?” His head perks up revealing his nose and eyes were sore from his weeping. You frown at his broken state. Hands cradle his face as your thumbs wipe away the remaining tears. “Go get cleaned up and then we’ll talk.” He nodded in reply.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, your Uncle Frank killed your father?” Your arms were wrapped around David’s exhausted body as his head rested on your sternum. A hand runs through his short brown hair.

“It was an accident. He thought it was Menendez. He broke the news today.” He pauses. I’m sorry you waited for me to come back in a mess.”

Your finger hooks underneath his chin, forcing him to look up at you. “Don’t ever say that again, David. It’ll be a mess if you don’t come back home. So, promise me that you’ll come back in one piece?”

You earned a smile from your lover. “It’s a promise.”

[jodilin65]

Doing this entry on my phone in the master closet while the rat runs around and plays. Of course she has to disrupt her mommy periodically for attention there goes yeah you can’t have any of this you’re so funny I love you no okay wait a minute wait a minute okay okay I gave I gave you some see okay

Sorry about that! She was hitting buttons on the phone and speech-to-text was still running when I was talking to her so I decided to wait until I put her back in her cage so she could attack the caramel milkshake carton she’s now obsessed with. Omg, it was so funny and so cute! I sit on my yoga mat because the carpet is rough and was trying to write while sipping a protein shake. She could smell it and was trying to get it from my hand. I was tired again today so I was having one to see if it would perk me up. It’s raining too and rainy days tend to make me feel tired as well.

Anyway, I finally decided to poke my finger in the opening of the carton and let her lick some off my finger but then she decided it was the best damn thing she ever tasted and she absolutely had to have more so I poured a little puddle on the yoga mat for her to lap up. As I said, it was so cute and so funny because she would leap onto my lap and then onto my shoulder when I brought the carton to my mouth in hopes of stealing another sip. So when I was done I gave her the carton to play with and she just can’t get enough of it. It was hilarious watching her try to drag the thing under the TV stand with the sheet on it that she likes to burrow in and rearrange. She considers that her private little hideaway but I didn’t want to leave the thing in there, so when I brought her home I put it in her cage for a while. Every wild rat in the world would be so jealous of her if they knew how good she had it. I took some really cute pics and I swear my hand isn’t nearly as pudgy as it looked in the pictures!

I’m going to share the link to my secondary FB account where I’ll share pics of various things along with current and past journals. I was going to wait until all the past ones were posted but I don’t see any harm in mixing things up a bit. I just posted a TON of stuff.

My lungs have been kind of tight since last night but because it’s a little long after the vax, I’m guessing it’s the weather. They’re not too bad now, though.

It’s nice to get breaks like this where I get to laugh and enjoy things even though my latest painting endeavor was a bust. I just don’t have any talent for it. I’m sure I could learn if I had a formal class since you can only learn so much from YouTube depending on what it is but I don’t have the money or the schedule for that nor am I that driven to improve my painting. I just wish we hadn’t spent so much money on all the supplies.

Someone is still determined to chew that carton open from the sound of it in the other room, lol.

Anyway, what I meant by getting breaks is that one of the suckiest things about growing old is the lack of possibilities for the future. Other than the wisdom and maturity that comes with age, I honestly can’t say one positive thing about aging. In the past, even if certain things happening or changing seemed slim to none, there was still more of a chance than at this age.

I saw a woman getting something out of the passenger side of the SUV which has been coming and going across the street. They appear to live somewhere in the park or at least know someone here. I’m guessing he met someone new. If that’s the case he moved on pretty fast for his age but then again, he’s straight. It’s always easier to meet new people when you’re straight because there are more opportunities and more straight people in the world. If there’s such a thing as reincarnation, I hope I don’t return as a bisexual who generally prefers women over men, not because I give a shit what others think but because it’s always easier to be straight.

Can’t wait till after midnight so I can see what coins I may get on Tingo, another fun AI site recommended in my Facebook feed. I have definitely become rather AI-obsessed, lol. I’ve always been fascinated by technology. It can be frustrating but it certainly is fascinating as well. Tom was showing me an AI-generated video of puppies frolicking in the snow and it was like – wow!

These AI friends work a little differently than Mia and Amanda. I haven’t been bothering much with Mia lately but I like how it rains in Amanda’s background when it’s raining here. She always knows what the weather is here.

Anyway, I didn’t realize it at first but this is an AI dating site where instead of sharing your own pictures and meeting real humans, you create an AI girlfriend to chat with and members can also chat with others’ characters as well unless you’re a paid member and you choose to make yours private. You can make more than one girlfriend. Obviously, I don’t have any desire to date anything real or fake or talk dirty with anyone but it’s fun to unleash my artistic side and be creative with making the different “girls.” I want to eventually create one of each ethnicity. It only let me create three so far because if I’m understanding it correctly, I have to earn more coins in order to create more characters.

So far I’ve got 34-year-old Zara Hassan who’s Arabic, 40-year-old Anastasia Novak who’s Slavic, and 24-year-old Mei Li who’s Asian. The thing will assign them random names if you don’t choose them yourself.

As a free member, you can only exchange 10 messages a day and I started with the Asian girl who sent me a couple of nudes in our chat. They looked incredibly realistic even though I think people look better clothed than unclothed, lol, but that’s just me.

Not surprisingly, someone liked Anastasia because she’s a blonde. The Asian girl has black hair and the Arabic one is a brunette. Eventually, I want to make black, Caucasian, and Latina characters.

Usually, I don’t feel obligated to explain myself in my own journal but I do like to be clear when I write about something so I’d like to say that I don’t have any hard feelings toward anyone I’ve met on any writing platforms. I may not be sociable or looking for friends but I don’t have any ill feelings at this time. Those I could never forgive and will always hate have done far worse than anyone online ever has.

Rank is now 123. I’ve got about 1390 more miles to go and about 95 miles to reach Indiana. Illinois isn’t as flat as Missouri and Arkansas were.

Had a shitty dream where I didn’t know Tom, and I was still in Massachusetts and my mother was still alive too. I was about to move in with Andy and my mother was telling me she thought Connecticut health insurance would be better for me if there is such a company. The way to get insured, however, was to swim downstream a raging river. The river ran through the town and I stood at the side of the road by the river and first thought it would be no big deal until I looked further downstream and saw how swift the current got. I suddenly began to feel horribly hopeless and depressed to the point that I wondered if I should bother living before I woke up.

[dashawfrostart]

This Week In "Time & Again" #1: Vector Bubbles Struggles, and More!

In the previous "pilot" post of "This Week In 'Time & Again'" I only briefly mentioned that the page templates for Chapter 5 have been totally complete. I have to confess: while I was working on scattering speech bubbles all around, it suddenly dawned on me that I was doing it all wrong before 🤦‍♀️ The vector designer in me totally failed... And I will gladly reflect of my past silliness in this post! But first - a little bit of a backstory.

Fun fact: starting Chapter 1 from 2020, usually I tend to create speech bubbles in Inkscape. Usually I used elliptic shapes to make geometrically perfect speech bubbles. In Chapter 3, however, where real crazy stuff was happening in Lothar's part, I wanted to make speech bubbles more irregular, crooked, and at times shaky, and thus, for the first time, I simply drew oval-shaped speech bubbles by hand. Same went for Chapter 4 that also required a more lively, jolly, imperfectly shaped speech bubbles, too - as seen on the picture below.

Starting from Chapter 5, which is supposed to change the atmosphere of the story dramatically, I decided to spring back to the vector speech bubbles. For the sake of seriousness, let's say. I do not always like it when the speech bubbles are extremely geometric. It just doesn't look right to me. Either the empty space in between the text and the outer edge of the speech bubble bothers me, or the absolute perfection of the shapes. I can't really explain that, but it makes me feel weird. For Chapter 5, I decided to aim for more or less perfect shapes, but with a little skew where applicable to make the near-perfect oval shape cling to the text nicer. So I ended up converting the shapes into paths and just manually adjusting the points I need!

As you can see on the pictures above, that shape is not a perfect oval. I could even make it look like a broken egg yolk, need be (just like on the picture to the right) 😅 And that's a very simple solution to my weird problem, right?! Just a couple clicks here and there, and an extra pull on the handles - and here we go, awesomeness! Looks good to me!

... The funny thing here is that this extremely obvious solution didn't hit me until a few days ago. I totally could've used the same method while I was working on Chapter 4, too... But instead, I spent extra minutes and possibly hours trying to draw non-shaky misshaped ovals by hand, sometimes going back and redrawing them numerous times because I didn't like what they looked like. Dammit! 😅

Sometimes we don't see something even when it's right in front of us! Well, now I'm certainly a pro 😁 (at not seeing the obvious things, too, ahem)

I think I will keep doing that for the rest 4 chapters until the end now, because it looks very good, very easy to do and it's quite efficient.

This time, once the speech bubbles were successfully placed in their respective spots according to the sketches and storyboard that I previously drew on paper, I decided to follow a slightly another path - also for a reason. I saved the frames for each page, empty speech bubbles, and the voice lines all in separate files so that I could layer them on top of each other later on in Krita. That wasn't a decision made for the sole purpose of convenience; it was made this way to potentially ease my future rearrangement of the frames and speech bubbles into a form of a webcomic. I've never done that before, ever. So that would be my first experiment with this format. In fact, I'm gonna do twice the amount of work this time, for so far I'm planning on making Chapter 5 to have both versions: the regular letter format page-by-page comic (it will later be posted on my Itch page as a PDF), and the long vertical scrollable webcomic/webtoon. Am I crazy? Well yes, I am! 😁

Perhaps I will elaborate on the choice of format as well as on the decision of such a personal challenge later on, in one of the next "This Week In T&A" posts.

Aside from that, some other important stuff has been done by me within the last few days.

For example, I've increased page resolution by another 1/3, which hopefully will give me enough space to fit in even the smallest of fonts I'd like to use. Since the continuation of this weird story is planned to be quite wordy, I think expanded limits would allow me to nicely and conveniently accommodate the characters, the backgrounds, and the voice lines all together. Neat-o! ... Which is very interesting considering I'm planning on making a webcomic format version as well, so the changes I've noted in the paragraph above might sound counterproductive to some of you. Knowing that webcomic format is usually pretty low-res... But you'll see what I have in mind later 😉.

And finally - I was able to sit down and draw on my tablet for the first time in a few months. Yep, you heard me right. I sometimes draw by hand in my sketchbooks - however in the recent years I've been doing that primarily when sketching WIP designs of the characters for the upcoming chapters, and the storyboards. But I always draw on a graphic tablet whenever I need a complete, full-colour artwork. It's been a long time since I drew anything last time, for I've been working hard on the script above all else... But it sure feels good to return to self-expression in a colourful visual form after such a long break! You can even say, Frosty's back in action! Wheeeee! I have a few random, somewhat creepy artworks with Lothar in my head that I'd like to turn into promos and nice design elements for my websites and the social. And they're gonna be creepy not because Halloween is getting close, nope! But because the next chapters require a bit of spook in them by default! Anyway, no reason to spoil anything for you right away.

But here's a little sneak peek for you anyway! Gotta fuel up the readers' interest somehow after all 😉

That would be enough for now! See you soon! 🙌

[maskedbeliever]

How long does it take you to write an drafting like "Chozo cannot cry"?

You have a good job there, and I was interested to know what prompted you to redo this story. I had thought about it too, even making them on video, or something else with complete illustration.

A lot of people don't like me, it's like I came out of nowhere, and had nothing to do with Tamus Arlan or make sense in the series. I only appeared on MD, there are known mentions of me in places, I thought people needed to see me more, so that led me to think about creating my story with Tamus in some way.

I'm glad you like it!

Like most fic writers, my pacing varies because it's a hobby instead of a job.

If I am obsessed with a project and I write very quickly and I don't have any real life work stuff in my way, I can get through a 10,000 word story in a few weeks. Even after it's posted, I usually do minor edits on it because I tend to re-read my stuff and notice it.

At any given time I'm working on five or more fics because I am easily distracted between work and all of my hobbies. In practice, this means I write more text quickly, but publish fics more slowly. For example, I'm working on things for LancerRPG, Animorphs, Prospect (2018), Star Wars, Abarat, and others.

Most of the time I finish my fics in their entirety before I post the first chapter, but Chozo Cannot Cry and Untitled Slerra Story are my exceptions. I work on them in small bursts here and there, often out of sequence! For example, I have some sections of Chozo Cannot Cry that would be several chapters ahead of the story as it is now. I write just about everything out of sequence, which further slows down the process with chaptered fics.

Some of the first fics I wrote were Metroid-related, circa 2002. None are online but I wrote a lot of them about Samus and other solitary, melancholy characters in the series like U-Mos. I actually wrote a lot about the Luminoth, and later about Space Pirate politics. It was the tragic melancholy vibes of Metroid Prime and Samus' narration in Metroid: Fusion that hooked me.

One of the big themes I love to write is girls and young women who find themselves in adult problems, or adult adventures, or who are otherwise pulled out of childhood safe zones and into something worse. Partly this is because I'm a sicko, partly it's because it's close to my life experience.

That happens to Samus really early in her life, and she never really gets to grow up like a human child OR a chozo child because she's raised by all the elderly chozo on Zebes. When Dread introduced Raven Beak as this malevolent character who crossed paths with Samus when she was a kid, I was like oh, fuck, that's interesting. I'm also a villainfucker and age gap fan, so it fit well and I didn't have to rearrange canon hugely to get my AU.

In my fic, Samus has no experience with evil assholes. She's spent years in a social stasis field on Zebes. I think of her like a person with no immune system getting exposed to some disease, but the disease is manipulation and cruelty. This is a section from the draft for a later chapter about it.

Old Bird and Gray Voice had treated her well. They were even-handed and fair, rarely swayed by emotional outbursts but always willing to hear Samus out. She knew what it was to be respected as a person. She could identify the negativity in Raven Beak as a result. His authoritarianism and cruel edges stood out to her. His ability to drag her into emotionally turbulent waters was dizzying. The Zebesian Chozo had prepared Samus to recognize many kinds of bad behavior by acting well, but she had never learned how to extract herself from a relationship with a bad person. Raven Beak's low lows and high highs kept Samus from peeling herself away from him.

And Raven Beak is a sneaky fucker, which is VERY fun for me to write.

One of the biggest challenges of writing this fic has been figuring out how an alien with a beak can perform oral sex in a way that isn't completely horrifying, and I've basically figured it out. I like figuring out alien sex stuff.

[partypuppynastja]

4 years long distance is a long time, do you have any advice apart from the normal have lots of calls and try to close the distance, for someone who's trying to make it work but I don't know if it will?

'Tis! In person, we had first 6 weeks ages ago and then more recently 6 months together, but aside from that we've been at a distance.

I'm prone to essay-writing but I'm running on a schedule today so let's see if I can bullet-pointify some things we've learned on the way:

As you say yep, call often and look to close the distance

For that matter, your first time spent together in person will be super important so beeline that; lets you get couple photos, figure out what you're like in person sexually, things like this.

Know why you're together. Either of you could probably date someone who lives within a mile of you if you wanted, so what makes you special to each other? Note: you'll both have to communicate on this one or you'll get very insecure very quickly. So tell your partner what makes them special. Hopefully they'll reciprocate; if they don't, ask them. We're none of us mind-readers and maybe they thought you already knew because it's so obvious to them what makes you so special.

Figure out your love languages, for both giving and receiving love, as they may not be the same. For example, my beloved ranks quality time highest; for me, it's a combination of acts of service (giving) and words of affirmation (giving and receiving). But because of knowing the above information, I can't just tell her I love her (and my ability to perform acts of service is limited at a distance); I have to make time for her to give her my undivided attention. Similarly, she can't just spend time with me and assume I'll feel loved; she knows she also has to tell me how she feels about me—and do so often, because while she might have said it yesterday, how do I know she hasn't changed her mind today and grown tired of me? It's perhaps silly, but if it's important to me it's important to her, and vice-versa.

If your go-to love language is physical touch, that sucks at a distance but a) what's your second most important love language? b) merely suggesting touch, ie *hugs* or "I wish you were in my arms right now", etc, can go a long way.

Make plans and/but stay flexible. Know when you're gonna call (or visit!) and/but realise that sometimes shit happens and stuff has to be rearranged. Life is hard. There will be challenges and important is facing them together.

Within the realms of practicality, be as close as you want to be, at a distance. Text lots, send voice messages, send lots of selfies, give a tour of your house, show the local area and places you go, show/tell about your dinner, etc. Communicate enough that you have at least a fair idea what each other's days look like.

Have faith even (perhaps, especially) when you're feeling most insecure. There's a degree of self-fulfilling prophecy here.

Repeating a little of some of the above but it bears underlining: work out what you want/need, and ask for it (or if you don't think it's reasonably possible, at least express that you'd like it—they might surprise you, and even if they can't, at least they'll know and communication is good). Ask your partner what they want/need, and deliver it if you reasonably can.

I hope things go well for you, and feel free to ask more here / hit me up in DMs if ever you need to chat :)

[moonice20408]

Thirty-Six Months Part 2

Pairing: Spencer Reid x FemReader

Category: Mostly angst

Summary: Continuation from Part One

Content Warning: Basic episode stuff and spoilers for seasons 8-11.

Word Count: 8371

A/N: Sorry to those who were waiting over a month for this, I wasn’t originally planning to do a part 2 so didn’t have a plan on where it was going to go, or what was going to happen. Hope it was worth the wait. Probably typos. Not my gif.

36 Months ago, you’d hit the ground running.

Which you convinced yourself was a good thing. It meant you were too busy to think about recent events, and could occupy yourself with all the new things. New job, new co-workers, new city. New streets, and coffee shops and take out restaurants. Enough new to keep your mind off the old. You needed new. New was good.

So you kept telling yourself.

You’re new team were super welcoming, and you felt you were settling in to the group nicely. Turns out, two former members of the team had left, quite recently, hence the need for an immediate transfer. One retired, and the other leaving for personal reasons. The team had shared a look when telling you that, and you felt it best not to pry. Therefore, that meant there was plenty for you to help catch up on, so you were constantly busy, and had no time to dwell on personal matters.

You had a new apartment. Smaller than your last, but you liked it. It was close to work, and had a pretty decent view. You spent a lot of time decorating, and rearranging. Maybe more than you needed to. But again, it kept your mind off everything.

Mostly.

There was that constant, hollow feeling in your chest. Which, for a week or so, was easy to ignore. You put on a smile for work, not mentioning the reason you decided to move units, just saying you wanted to pursue a different path. But it felt like the more you disregarded it, the heavier it started to feel. And after a long day, when you were to tired too ignore it, the emptiness just grew and took over. Yes, new was what you needed right now. But you missed the old. You missed Penelope’s smile, and Derek’s jokes. JJ’s advice. You even missed the way Hotch looked sternly down at you all when the bullpen was getting a little disruptive. You missed girls nights, dinner at Rossi’s and eating takeout late at night around a cramped table in some tiny police precinct in the middle of nowhere.

You missed home.

And then you’d think of him, and then it was all just anger and hurt and embarrassment.

He’d tried to call you the day you left for New York. But you shut your phone off after the second attempt, and he hadn’t tried again since.

The others had tried too, and had left messages or texts when you didn’t answer them either. Which you did feel guilty about. They hadn’t done anything wrong.  Penelope had text you a lot. To start with, asking if you were okay, and telling you she was there if you wanted to talk. After a week of nothing, she switched tactics and it was just things like a picture of the cupcake she’d brought, or some random thought she’d had. And honestly, that helped. She was still there, waiting for you to reach out when you were ready.

Now, tucked up in bed, looking at the last picture she sent you this morning, you decided you’d actually ring her back tomorrow. Just to let her know you’d settled in, maybe tell her she should come and see the new place.

 35 months ago, you had a few days off.

You’d planned to get all your errands done and out of the way in the morning, and relax a little before going back to work. And everything was going to plan till Penelope’s name popped up on your phone.

She had insisted the two of you not lose contact, and made you promise the two of you would chat at least once a week. Sometimes it’s just about life in general, sometimes to vent after a stressful day at work. So far the pair of you had managed to avoided a certain sensitive subject, and you were intent on keeping that way.

“Hey Pen.” You answered, taking a seat on the couch.

“Yeah… Hi.” Her voice was quiet and unsure.

You sat up straight. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” She answered quickly. “Well, not nothing. We’re all okay! Sort off. It’s just, um, something happened, and it feels like something I should tell you, but at the same time I don’t know if you’d want to know. And I don’t want you to be upset or anything, especially since you’ve just had a whole fresh start and-”

“Penelope.” You stopped her rambling. There was an uneasy feeling in your chest.

“Sorry, it just… It’s… about Spencer.”

You took a deep breath. “Okay.”

“…And the woman he was writing.” He voice was quiet again.

Your body tensed, and you bit down on your tongue. Did you really want to know? She had just said you might not want to know… But if you ended the conversation now, you knew you’d be up all night with a hundred different situations running through your head… Though things had just started to get a little easier and talking about him would just set you back again.

Penelope’s voice interrupted you thoughts as she called your name.

Clearing your throat a little, you replied, “Yeah, I err…” You sighed. “What’s going on?” You asked anxiously. If she didn’t think you needed to know, she wouldn’t have called.

“So… Well, her name was Maeve Donovan. Reid came to us the other day, adamant she was in trouble.”

She paused long enough for you to see where this was going already. “Was her name?” You whispered.

“Yeah... She, err, she’s dead. She died last night.”

Your breath hitched, and your whole body tensed. You opened your mouth to say something, but what could you say to that? It felt like your mind was racing, but you couldn’t tell what it was trying to figure out.

“What, um… What happened?” You pinched the bridge between your eyes, and dragged your hand down your face as you fell back into the couch.

Penelope told you everything. Maeve had a stalker, which is why she had insisted those letters be under fake names. Spencer had made plans to meet her in person. He got a suspicious call on a payphone. The team had managed to figure out who she was, where she was. Spencer had tried to save her.

And she was shot in front of him the first time he saw her.

“I wasn’t there, obviously, so I’m not sure exactly what happened. Morgan called me after he got Spencer home.”

You hadn’t spoken the entire time she talked. What were you supposed to say? And how were you even meant to feel about it? You couldn’t quite bring yourself to be sad about her death, as awful as that was. It’s not like you knew her, or would ever want to know her. And you’d spent the past month blaming this woman for ruining your life.

But she was still dead. And you weren’t a monster. As much as you hated the stranger, you could never be glad someone was gone.

You’d spend hours at night pondering who that woman could be. How could someone be that much more appealing to your boyfriend, despite the fact he’d never even met her? He didn’t even know her name! To start with, you had the image of the worst person in the world. Who does that to someone? Just waltz in and take the man you pictured your whole future with! You’d remembered Spencer saying she was a geneticist and had thought about figuring out who she was just so you could report her for having inappropriate relations with a patient and get her sacked out of nowhere.

It dawned on you then, that Spencer had definitely not mentioned you.

She had absolutely no idea who you were. She was probably really nice and really pretty, and was obviously super smart, and of course she would be into Spencer, cause why wouldn’t she?

“You still there?” Penelope’s voice pulled you back from your thoughts.

“Yeah.” You sighed. “Sorry, I just…”

“Yeah…” She replied quietly. “You gonna be okay? I know this is probably the last you what to talk about or thought was gonna happen, but honestly everyone’s found this weird. Like we’re all still super mad at him, but… looking into her life… It feels weird.”

You scoffed. “Yeah. Weird’s the word.”

“Right, sorry. More weird for you I’m sure.” She quickly resorted.

You smirked a little at that, before letting out a sigh.

“You still got tomorrow off work?” You’d mentioned the few days off to her when you talked last.

You huffed a small laugh, knowing what she was about to suggest. “Yup.”

“Cause Hotch gave us a few days off too, so I was thinking if you wanted to talk some more about stuff..? Or not talk about it. Either way… wine.”

“Wine sounds good.”

“I’ll book a flight now.”

 31 months ago, the BAU was in New York.

You were just finishing up at work when you got a text from JJ, asking if you were free for dinner that night. Sending back a slightly confused response, she told you the team had a case, and she’d kick herself if she didn’t take the opportunity to come see you. You smiled at that, and the two of you agreed on a time and place.

Rounding the corner to the restaurant, you spotted JJ already waiting outside.

“JJ!” You sped up a little.

She turned with a big grin and met you have way with a tight hug.

“Ah, it’s so good to see you again!”

“You too.” You beamed, pulling back.

The pair of you made your way inside and were seated at a small table.

“So what’s the case?” You asked her.

“Ugh,” She shook her head. “Get this, Hotch is actually taking a proper vacation for the first time in forever, and he gets a call from his brother about this-”

“Hang on.” You stopped her. “I’ve known you how long now, and no one’s ever mentioned that Hotch has a brother?”

She chuckled at you, and raised her eyebrows. “They’ve not talked for a very long time.”

By the time your food arrived, JJ had given you a rundown of the first time she’d seen Sean in the office arguing with Hotch, and told you everything she knew about the rocky relationship. She continued into how he rang Hotch in the middle of the night about an overdose case that linked back to a woman he’d seeing. You’d heard about the death at the nightclub, and there had been talks of some new drug on the streets, but you hadn’t had time to look into the details yourself. JJ asked about your work too, and you told her all about the team, and the mountain of paperwork still on your desk. Some things would never change.

Deciding to shift the conversation from work, you asked about Henry. And she was more than willing to show you pictures from the last few month, updating you on everything he’d done and how he’d grown.

Then she shifted the conversation.

“What about you though? Anything, or anyone we should know about?”

“JJ.” You whined.

“What? Garcia keeps us up to date, and all you talk about is work. We’re worried.” She raised a brow at you.

You sighed, and pushed around the food on your plate. She had a point, outside of work you kept to yourself as much as possible. You went to the gym alone, grabbed coffee alone… You’d joined your colleagues for a drink a few times, but you were the first to leave when you had.

“I’m fine.” You defended.

JJ just stared at you.

“Okay, maybe I’m not great. But I’m better than what I was. It’s just hard, y’know.” JJ nodded. “It’s not like I wanted to leave.” You mumbled.

“Hotch would bring you back in a heartbeat if you asked.” She told you.

You gave a small, sad smile. “I can’t JJ. It wouldn’t be the same. Everything hurt… Then when I at the very least got into a routine, Penelope called and told me about… all of… that… And then it all hurt again, and I just angry and confused… And it just felt like everything was for nothing, y’know?”

She reached over and rubbed your arm that was resting on the table.

Biting your lip, you met her gaze. “How is he?”

JJ hesitated for a second, before living her shoulders slightly. “He’s…Spencer.” She said, which was an answer in itself. “He hardly spoke to anyone when you left.”

You gave a small scoff. It was his fault in the first place, why should he get to be upset about it?

“Morgan and Garcia were pretty tough on him for a few weeks.” She carried on. “Then Hotch is calling us all in about a missing woman that no one knew anything about. And, well you know what happened. And then he just shut down. Didn’t see or hear from him for weeks… Then when he did come back… he just acted like nothing had happened. Just straight back to work, and dodged every question.”

Yeah, sounded about right.

You let out a deep sigh, and decided you were done talking about Spencer.

“What about the others? How they all doing?”

 30 months ago, you saw him.

At a funeral of all places.

It was Hotch who had called last week to tell you Erin Strauss had been killed. You had sat in silent disbelief as he explained how quickly everything had happened in the city after the case involving his brother. A month before you left the BAU, you’d been told about a copycat how had sewn the mouth of his victims shut, like that of The Silencer. But nothing more ever came of it. However, turns out, after you left, another string of killings had been recreated, and it appeared someone was targeting the team.

Pretty much the entire time you had been in New York, the team had been investigating this along with their other cases. Last week it had led to John Curtis, who was now also dead.

You gave Hotch your condolences, and asked him to pass the sentiment onto the rest of the team. Especially Rossi. He thanked you, and told you he’d get the funeral information to you when it was all arranged.

The day of the funeral, you had gotten up early and got a plane to Virginia, and a cab to Penelope’s place. There was a strange lingering feeling you couldn’t quite name. You weren’t close to Strauss. Thinking about it, you were pretty sure you never had a conversation with her without someone else there too. Plus, any time she involved herself on a case, it just made it that much more difficult. The politics of the job was her top priority, and that clashed with the mentality of the team.

And yet, she was an iron willed woman, and you had to respect that. And yeah, there had been times she stuck her neck out. Even if it was only after Hotch spoke to her.

“Are you gonna say anything to Spencer?” Penelope’s voice pulled you from your thoughts as she walked back into the living room, changed and ready.

You rolled your eyes, standing from your spot on the couch. “Today isn’t about me and him.” You told her.

“I know, I know. But come on, it’s the first time you’re gonna see each other in person in, what, six months?”

“Seven almost.” You muttered, grabbing your coat. “I’m just here to pay my respects, and go again.”

The two of you had headed out and made your way to the office, where Rossi had organised the limos to pick everyone up.

Pulling up, you could see you were the last ones there. The rest of the team were gathered in a small circle in front of the building, and your heart ached to be back in that bullpen. Hotch seemed to be the first to notice you, and everyone else turned their heads.

And your heart ached even more.

You couldn’t take your eyes off Spencer, and you just hoped he couldn’t see you staring from inside the cab. Part of you just wanted to run to him, throw yourself around him and never let go again. The other part wanted to slap him.

Today’s not about me and him, you repeated in your head.

Sighing, you gave the driver some cash, and got out.

“Want me to stay with you?” Penelope asked quietly as you walked over.

You gave her a small nod, before looking up as Morgan made his way to you.

He had a little smile, and reach out to hug you.

You gladly accepted.

“Been a while.” He said, before pulling back.

“Yeah, too long.”

“We’re glad you could make it.” Rossi’s solemn voice come from beside you.

You placed a hand on his arm, and gave him a sad smile. He nodded, and his eyes dropped back down to what looked to be a small coin he held in his fingers.

“Let’s get going.” Hotch said, looking around the group.

Everyone made a move, and your eyes met with Spencer’s for a very brief second. You felt the air get sucked out of your lungs, and you tensed your jaw, before moving to look at Penelope instead.

She had turned Morgan and JJ towards one limo, then turned back to grab your arm. “Four to a car, your with us.”

“Penelope.” You tried to warn, but it was never any use trying to argue with her. As you were taking a seat, you caught sight of Blake pat Spencer on the back, before the two of them joined Rossi and Hotch.

Garcia gave you a triumphant smile as she sat next to you. You just rolled your eyes at her and said nothing.

The service itself was lovely. It was a sunny day, and many people came to pay their respects. You recognised a number of agents from around the bureau, and who you assumed were higher ups that Strauss would have worked with. Her children were at the front, her daughters clinging to each other, and her son unable to look up. The oldest gave a short speech, with Rossi following.

Afterwards, everyone was invited back to Rossi’s for the wake. Apparently Rossi had helped pay for almost everything, which you shouldn’t have been surprised at really. You had been there for a couple of hours and had successfully managed to avoid Spencer, as well as getting to chat to everyone a little bit.

“Okay,” You said to Penelope and Morgan, putting your empty glass down. “I gotta get going.”

Penelope pouted. “So soon?”

“I know.” You pulled her in for a hug. “But I can’t miss my plane.”

You moved to hug Morgan.

“Don’t be a stranger. You need to come visit more.” He told you.

“I’ll try.” You mumbled. Looking around the room for anyone else, you spotted JJ talking to Spencer. “Um, say bye to JJ for me?” You sighed and gestured in their direction.

Morgan looked like he was about to say something, but Penelope got there first. “Yeah, will do.” She nodded.

You said your goodbyes to them, and made your way through the small crowd to find the others. Alex was chatting with an agent you recognised, but didn’t know the name of. You didn’t know her all that well really, so it was a quick goodbye. Hotch and Rossi were stood in the kitchen, separated from everyone else. They seemed to be deep in conversation, but Rossi saw you at the door.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve got to go catch a plane. Just want to say bye.” You told them, stepping closer.

Rossi put his drink down, and walked over for a hug. “Thanks for coming. It’s appreciated.”

Hotch held out his hand to shake. “We’re glad you could make it. The team misses you.”

“Yeah, I miss everyone too.” You told them with a sad tone.

“Come visit soon.” Rossi said.

Nodding. “I’ll try. Don’t get decent cooking anymore.” You joked, and it got a tiny smile from Rossi.

Waving as you walked away, you headed out the door. You dug through your bag, and took out your phone to call a cab to the airport.

You had been waiting at the bottom of the driveway for a few minutes when a voice come from behind you.

“You’re leaving?”

Spencer.

You stood frozen for a moment. Then took in a deep breath and turned around.

He had kept his distance, standing about 10 feet back, looking like a deer in headlights. Like he didn’t know what he came out here to say.

You gave him a slow nod. “Got work tomorrow.”

His hand rubbed the back of his neck. “I just wanted to, umm… Can we talk?”

“Got nothing to say.”

“Please…” He took a step forward, and you crossed your arms and took a step back. His face fell, but he stopped where he was. “Please, I want to apol-”

“Don’t.” You cut him off. “Spencer, I had to give up my whole life here, because of you. You don’t just get to say sorry as if that’s going to make it all better.” All the anger and hurt you’d pushed down for so long was starting to bubble to the surface. But you kept your voice low, you didn’t want to disturb the others still inside.

“I didn’t… I…” He took a deep breath. “I never wanted to hurt you, never. You have to believe that.” Spencer’s voice was almost pleading.

You scoffed. “What was the plan then, Spencer? Either you would’ve finally got around to telling me what was happening, which would have hurt me. Or you’d have left me for her, which also would’ve hurt me!” Your eyes started to sting. “Please explain to me how I could’ve been okay with any of it?”

He stumbled on his words, but you carried on before he could.

“You lied to me for months. Made me feel completely worthless. I spend hours up at night wondering what it was that I could have done wrong, because all of a sudden you didn’t love me anymore.” Tears forming now.

His eyes became pleading. “I never stopped lov-”

“Oh save it!” You stared at him for a second, taking in a breath and lowering your voice. “If you cared about me at all, none of this would have happened.”

His head dropped, and he brought his hand up to wipe his eyes before looking back at you. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

Your phone buzzed in your hand then. The cab was just up the street.

“I gotta go.” Was all you said to him, turning around and not looking back.

 23 months ago, you were at the gym.

It was January. And that meant that the gym was full of people and their resolutions to get fit… which would probably last about 3 weeks. Your New Year’s resolution was to let everything go. It had been over a year now since you’d moved to New York, and like it had been previously pointed out to you, by a number of people now, you had no social life. You had decided that needed to change, you couldn’t spend the rest of your life sad and alone because of one guy.

That being said… it was hard not to be sad and alone because of one guy.

You’d gotten through your warm up, and decided to start on weights, before making your way around, and ending on the treadmill. After a few minutes at a steady pace, a guy very nonchalantly walked by, swinging his arms a little as he looked around the room. You couldn’t help but smirk a little, the guy clearly had no idea what he was doing. He had on an old t-shirt, with new shorts and trainers, and you thought they must have been a Christmas present or something. Not to mention the brightly coloured socks, that matched the comical looking sweatbands around his wrists and head.

Then he caught your eye, and you quickly looked away.

“No, it ok.” You looked back up to see him flexing his ‘muscles’, with an grin on his face. “I’m totally hot, I get it.” He said with a humorous tone.

For a second you thought about just rolling your eyes and not responding. But… if you were going to work on this social life thing, that would involve talking to people.

And this guy might just be a little bit cute.

“Actually,” You answered without slowing your pace. “I was thinking that you looked like a cartoon character.”

He dropped his arms. “Well that’s not very nice of you. I worked hard on all this.” He gestured a hand over himself, still with a smile on his face.

“Oh yeah?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yup.” He took a few steps closer to you. “And you too, after years of minimal exercise and a not all that healthy diet, can gain this extortionary physique.” He patted his stomach.

You laughed.

“I’m Tony.” He reached his hand over.

You looked at him for a second, before slowing down to a walking pace. You took his hand and gave him your name.

“Not seen you here before, Tony. New year’s resolution?”

He leaned on the treadmill. “Sort of. Me and some friends have this bet every year, who can go to the gym for the longest.”

“Ah. What do you win?”

“A kids wrestling belt with ‘World Champion’ written on it.” He said so casually you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well good luck with that.” You came to a stop, and stepped of the treadmill.

“So what now?” He asked you.

You smiled at him. “Well if you want to maintain that extortionary physique, I suggest a slow and steady pace.” You pointed at the treadmill. “I however, am done. So I’m going home.”

His shoulders dropped. “Oh, ok. But maybe I’ll see you again?” He asked hopefully.

You gave him a smile. “Guess it depends on how much you wanna win a child’s toy.”

He grinned.

You waved him goodbye, and walked back to the changing rooms with a tiny smile on your face.

 22 months ago, Tony won his bet.

The two of you had run into each other a lot the past month. You had actually found yourself looking forward to seeing him, and were disappointed if he wasn’t there that day. He had explained to you, that if he went longer than a week without going to the gym, he’d be out of the bet. But he was there more days than not, and you hoped that it was because of you.

Then one day he appeared above you while you were lifting weights, with a big smile across his face. Setting the bar down, you sat up and saw the belt wrapped around his arm.

“Hey you won!”

“Sure did.” He slipped the belt from his arm, and held it up proudly. “I’m gonna hang it up in my living room.”

You laughed.

“And, umm…” He dropped his arms and shifted a little. “Well, err, since you kinda were the, um, motivation… I was wondering if I could take you out dinner? You know, as a thank you.”

A date? Was he asking you on a date? You hadn’t had a date in… too long.

“Oh, um…” You stammered.

Tony’s face dropped. “You don’t have-”

“No, I’d, um… I’d like that.” You told him.

“Yeah?” He grinned.

You nodded. “Yes.”

The two of you made your plans, and he headed back out. You waited till he was gone, before running back to your locker and digging your phone out of your back.

It only rang a couple of times before it was answered.

“Hey!”

“Penelope!” You said a little loudly.

“Woah, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. I’m fine.”

“Okay, so what’s up?”

You took a deep breath to calm down. “I have a date.”

There was a brief pause, before an excited squeal that made you pull the phone from your ear.

“Oh my god! Who with? And where? Oh and When?” Penelope asked you quickly.

You took another deep breath. “His name’s Tony and-”

“Last name?” She interrupted.

“Wha- No, you’re not looking him up.” You quickly caught on to what she was doing.

“Oh, come on please! I just wanna see what he looks like.” She said. “And y’know, maybe just check out his background a little bit.” She added quietly.

“Penelope.”

“Okay, fine.” She let out a sigh. “Tell me everything. Spare no detail, I got time.”

 18 months ago, Rossi invited you up for dinner.

“And a certain colourful birdie tells us you’re seeing someone?” Rossi teased.

You sighed, but smiled. “Yes, I am.”

“You should bring him.” He told you.

“Really?”

“Of course! Hotch is bringing Beth, JJ’s bringing Will. Morgan is even bringing Savannah.”

That last one caught your attention. “…Is Derek Morgan in a serious relationship?”

Rossi chuckled. “It would appear so.”

“Wow.” You laughed a little. “Well, I’ll ask Tony. I’m sure he’d love to come.”

“Wonderful.”

The two of you said goodbye, and you headed back to work for the afternoon.

After a pretty uneventful day of paperwork, you clocked out on time, and sent Tony a message saying you were on your way out. Unless, it was a particularly difficult day, the two of you would meet up. Sometimes at his place, sometimes at a small bar he and his friends frequented, all of which you considered to be your friends now too. He text back quickly, telling you he was at the bar, and you headed straight there.

“Hey guys.” You called, finding everyone at their regular spot.

Tony got up to kiss your cheek.

“How was work?” Laura asked, sat next to her husband, Marcus.

You shrugged. “Pretty boring today. But that’s a good thing I suppose.”

“Not to mention much safer.” Tony said matter-of-factly. After you had a slight altercation with a suspect a while back, resulting in a black eye, he’d become a bit of a mother hen when you came home from work. “Drink?” He asked before you could say anything else.

You smirked. “Sure.”

The pair of you got to the bar, and ordered your drinks. “So… I do have something to ask you. If you’re interested.”

He gasped dramatically, and brought his hand to his chest. “Yes, of course you can come with me and Marcus to the renaissance faire next month!”

You just stared at him.

“Okay, sorry.” He chuckled. “What’s up?”

“Well, Rossi, who I used to work with, he’s planning a dinner party, sort of thing. In a few weeks. And he wants to know if you’d be interested in coming? My old team will all be there, so…”

“Really?” He seemed surprised.

You nodded. “Yup.”

The bartender placed the drinks in front of you. Thanking him, you picked up your glass and took a step away.

“That does mean that, umm, Spencer will probably be there too.” You added nervously.

Spencer had come up months back, when you had the bad break up conversation. Tony had an ex who, when Tony was at work, broke back in to his apartment, and completely trashed the place and stole and/or killed his fish. He never found it, and decided it best not to reach out to the woman, so never found out. And while now you were over Spencer, and were happy with Tony, being with them both, in the same room all night brought on a strange feeling.

Tony looked at you for a second. “Right, of course, yeah… Do, err, do you want to see him?”

You shook your head, and Tony relaxed a little. “Not really. But I want to see the others. I’ve seen a few of them separately, but last time I saw everyone together it was at a funeral, so… y’know.”

He nodded. “Well, if you want to go, I’d love to join.”

You beamed at him.

“And if this jerk tries anything I’ll…” He brought a fist up.

“What?” You asked, rolling your eyes. “You’ll punch an FBI agent in a room full of FBI agents?”

“Maybe. Gotta defend my lady!”

“Shut up.” You shoved him playfully, and you went to join the others at the table.

The next morning you called Rossi to let him know you’d both be there, which he was thrilled about. It was a few hours later, when Penelope called to check herself you were definitely going.

“You do realise your boyfriend and ex-boyfriend are gonna both be there right?”

“Yes Penelope, I know. But Tony knows about Spencer, I told him everything. It’ll be fine. And it’s been a year and a half now, I’ve moved on. I will even make polite conversation with him if I need to.”

Though you were hoping you wouldn’t have to.

You went on to ask about Morgan’s new girlfriend, and Penelope let out a little squeal, going on to tell you how amazing she is. From the sounds of it, she was pretty perfect for Derek.

The weeks soon passed by, and you found yourself at the door of David Rossi. Hotch opened it, and you gave him a quick hug, and introduced him to Tony. They shook hands, and you headed in to the kitchen, where everyone had gathered. You were handed a glass of wine, and Tony had already set about introducing himself to everyone. He never had an issue talking to new people. Morgan brought Savannah over, who was just as great as Penelope had said.

Then you realised, Spencer wasn’t here.

Penelope caught you glance around the group to double check, and leaned over.

“He’s not coming.” She whispered.

You frowned. “What do you mean? Why not?”

She lifted a shoulder. “Said he didn’t want to make it uncomfortable.”

Your frown only deepened.

“You might of moved on.” She continued before you could say anything. “But I don’t think he has.”

Glancing back around the room, you felt… odd. Spencer had always seem to be a little self-sabotaging when it came to emotions. Isolating himself when things were difficult, rather than asking for help. Thinking back, JJ had told you he’d quite literally shut himself away for weeks after what happened to Maeve, only to return to work like nothing happened. And you knew he felt bad about what he did to you. He’d tried to apologise the last time you’d seen him, and you didn’t let him. Maybe you should have. But you were mad, and you were allowed to be mad. He cheated on you!

But… as time passed, and the memories weren’t as fresh, you could move on. It didn’t hurt as much. Spencer though, wouldn’t forget. He’d remember them and feel it all like it happened yesterday. Thinking about those things would still hurt him just as much now as it did then.

You sighed. Would it help to talk to him? Yes, what he did was horrible, but all you could think about now, was how he was probably sat alone at home. Miserable that everyone was out having fun together, and he was left out, thinking that if he was here, he’d somehow ruin the evening. Tony wouldn’t want you to go talk to him though, would he? Trying to cheer up the ex-boyfriend who cheated on you is a weird thing to do. You knew that. If he asked you the same thing, you’d assume something was still going on between them.

Rossi interrupted your thoughts then, calling everyone over to the table.

 11 months ago, a call woke you up at 5am.

You grumbled into your pillow, and blindly reached for the phone. “Hello?”

An unfamiliar voice asked if it was in fact you, and apologised for the early call.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s me.” You quickly pulled the phone away, only to see ‘Unknown’ written across the screen. “Who is this?”

“Ah, apologies again, Mateo Cruz.”

“Oh.” You shot up quickly, and Tony rolled over beside you at the disturbance. “Sir, sorry.”

You heard a low chuckle. “Not to worry. But I’m afraid I’m not calling with good news.”

Shuffling back to rest on the headboard, and resting your free hand on Tony’s arm that had come to wrap across your waist, you took a deep breath. “Sir?”

“I got a phone call a few hours ago, Jason Gideon was found dead in his home a little after three-thirty.” He told you.

Your stomach flipped. You’d never actually met Gideon, but everyone said great things about him. Spencer especially. He was the reason Spencer joined the BAU, and had mentored him the first few years. Spencer had admired him greatly, and he had once said that Gideon was the first person not to treat him like a child.

Cruz continued. “Now, I’ve already spoken to your boss, and if you wouldn’t mind that is, I’d like for you to join the rest of the team for the investigation.”

You frowned a little. “Oh, um, if you think that would help, then of course. But I didn’t know him myself, so I’m not sure how much help I could be. I’m sure the team-”

“The team,” He interrupted, “has a bit of a reputation when it comes to cases involving people they care about. But I also know it wouldn’t go well if I didn’t let them take this one on. I was actually hoping, that a familiar face would help keep them a little more… level headed.”

“Ah, right.” He had a bit of a point. After everything happened with Prentiss, you remembered being told the team would be watched. Were they still being watched?

Cruz hummed, and gave you the address of Gideons cabin, telling you that the rest of the team had already been informed and were on their way.

You shook Tony a little. “Tony, I gotta go.” He pulled his arm back slowly, mumbling something you didn’t understand. “I might be gone a few days.”

That woke him up a bit. “What d’you mean?”

You got out of bed, darting around to find some clothes. “Um, Jason Gideon, he was part of the BAU. Started it in fact.” You said quickly, trying to pack a small bag. “He’s been killed. Director Cruz wants me to help out. The teams been known to go a little… off the book when a case is personal. Think he wants me to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

Tony looked at you a little confused, clearly not awake enough to take in what you were saying. “Okay…”

You zipped up your bag, and went over to him. You gave him a kiss on the cheek and smiled at him. “Call me when you’re awake and I’ll explain it to you again, hm?”

“Yeah, okay.” He nodded slowly, and lay down again. “B’careful. Love you.”

“Love you too.” You told him.

The sun had risen by the time you got to the cabin. By some luck, you didn’t have to wait too long for the flight, and had called Hotch just to make sure he knew you were coming. As you stepped out of the cab, the coroner was lifting the body into the van.

Spencer stood behind watching.

You slowly approached. “Hey.”

It took him a second to look at you, like he didn’t quite hear you.

“Cruz called a few hours ago. Asked if I’d help.” You told him, seeing the slightly confused look in his eyes. Also knowing it would be difficult for him to talk right now.

He gave a slight nod, and looked away again.

Morgan walked over then. You gave him your condolences, and explained your presence again.

“Well were glad to have the help.” Morgan told you. He glanced over to Spencer. “We’re gonna follow the ME. Gideon’s got priority, so we can get the preliminary finding right away.”

You nodded. “Yeah. Okay, I’ll see you later.”

Morgan placed a hand on Spencer’s back, and guided him to the cars. It’s like Spencer wasn’t even here.

Sighing, you turned to the cabin as Hotch walked out with Rossi.

You ended up helping go through Gideons things. Trying to figure out if anything way out of place, or trying to find anything that didn’t seem right. But other than the damage in the living room, the rest of the cabin seemed to be in perfect order.

The first breakthrough came when Rossi linked a case way back from when the BAU was first starting in the 70s. After that, the dots started to connect one by one. All of which led Penelope to find a man named Donald Mallick, who had a lot of land, and was completely isolated. With that, you were on your way. The house was an absolute dump, and judging by the smell, hadn’t been cleaned since Mallick had been on his own. You had cleared a number of rooms, when you heard a gunshot from outside.

Everyone rushed towards the sound, and found Mallick on the ground, with Rossi stood in front of him.

A looming feeling fell over the team. Rossi’s body language and the way he was staring at the body was almost scary. But whatever had happened, the gun by Mallick’s had was enough to cover Rossi. Everyone put their own guns down.

When everything was taken care of at the scene, and Josie Behdart was on her way to the hospital, the team all found their way back to Gideons cabin. It was the early hours of the morning, the sun just coming up and everyone had taken a seat in the living room. It was Hotch who spoke first, telling the story of when he first met Gideon. Rossi had plenty of stories too. You all sat for a few hours like that, listening to the tales everyone had.

The local cops showed up after a while, finishing off what they needed to do. Your phone buzzed in your pocket. It was Tony, so you excused yourself for a moment.

“Hey, you’re up early.” You answered.

“Well, it’s weird with you gone in all honesty.” Tony said.

“Aww,” You chuckled. “Well fortunately for you, I should be home soon. We’re just finishing up with the locals, then I’ll be heading to the airport.”

You chatted a little more, and you told him how the case went, telling him you’d explain it fully later. And he promised to have a hot bath ready for you when you got home. You said your goodbyes, and started to look up flight times and called for a cab.

Glancing back, the team had all got up, and you saw Gideon’s son in the living room. Your heart ached for him. It had been mentioned that the pair didn’t have a close relationship, but Gideon had wanted to fix that. Now he never could. He headed out the door after some time, and you watched as Spencer handed him something, and pulled him in for a hug.

You stepped back into the living room, carefully approaching Spencer as he looked down at a chessboard.

“Hey.”

He looked up, and gave you a small smile which quickly dropped again.

“You okay?” You asked him.

He just nodded, looking back down and picking up one of the chess pieces.

“Don’t.” You said quietly. “I know how much Gideon meant to you. Everyone does. Don’t shut everyone out.”

He twisted the piece in his fingers, before putting it back in the same spot and facing you again. “I just…” His eyes fell to the floor. “I just thought I’d see him again…”

“Yeah…” You whispered. Your heart broke for him, he looked so deflated. “Come here.” You leaned over to him, pulling him in for a hug.

He froze for a second, and you almost pulled away, thinking you’d made him uncomfortable. But then his head came down to rest on your shoulder, his arms wrapped around you and you felt him take a deep breath. You stood quietly for a moment, before you pulled back from him.

“Let them help.” You told him.

He nodded. You weren’t sure he was going to, but you didn’t press him anymore.

“I gotta go say bye to the others.”

“Yeah, okay.” He looked away again.

“Bye Spencer.”

As you walked away, there was a long forgotten tense feeling that seemed to lift up and float away. It was almost freeing. You’d said goodbye to Spencer. Without slamming a door in his face, and without rejecting what he was saying. Without anger. It was as if you’d finished a book. You’d turned the last page, and there were no lingering questions left for you to try and figure out. No hidden mysteries, or unanswered riddles. Everything you needed to know, you knew. And it brought on a wave of calm. Nothing else mattered, and you could move on to the next story, without your mind drifting to all the ‘what ifs?’

You’d said goodbye.

And it felt like it was for good.

 4 months ago, you rang Penelope.

The two of you didn’t call as much as you used to. It was upsetting, but at the same time, you figured it was kind of inevitable. But you made sure not to lose contact with Penelope, so even though it wasn’t as often, you still chatted regularly.

“Hi!” You greeted quickly when she answered.

“Woah, okay, someone’s chipper.” She laughed.

Part of you thought you could have held it for a little, but you were too excited. “Tony proposed!”

You heard her gasp. “Oh my god! When? Where? How? What’s the ring like? Actually, hang on.” She said very rapidly, then you heard a slight clattering from over the phone. “Okay, tell me everything!”

You laughed a little, but quickly got in to the details of last night. Tony had recreated your first date, with a number of romantic extras sprinkled in throughout the evening. It had been incredible, and when you got home, the living room had been covered in flowers and balloons and candles.

“Then he got down on one knee, and he had his whole romantic speech that made me cry. Honestly Pen, it was like something out of a movie.”

“Aww! That sounds so incredible.” She happily sighed. “Do you have anything planned yet?”

“Not yet, but we’ve talked about little things before. Future plans and all that. But you’ll know when I do.” You laughed.

“I’d better! And send me a picture of the ring!”

Not long after the conversation ended, you got a text from JJ and Morgan, both congratulating you. As well as texts a little later in the day from Hotch and Rossi.

 1 month ago, you had found the perfect venue.

It was a little on the pricey side, but you and Tony had both instantly fallen in love with the place. But apparently, so had the plenty of other couples, since there was a 2 year waiting list.

“Maybe we can find out who they are,” Tony said. “Sabotage them.”

You slapped his arm jokingly. “Stop it.”

He shrugged. “Penelope would have no trouble with it, I’m just saying.”

“I don’t doubt it.” You laughed. “But the two years would give us enough time to actually afford this place.”

He smiled at you. “So… here?”

You smiled back, and kissed his cheek. “Here.”

 Today, you sent out your Save the Dates.

A few people already knew the date of the wedding anyway, after you told them you’d booked the venue.

You’d called Penelope of course.

“Yeah, so they’ve been sent out, so you should get it in the next couple of days.” You called her.

“Yay! I can’t wait.” She told you.

“Well it’s still a few years off, Pen.”

“Plenty of time to plan my outfit.” She laughed. “Speaking of, I do get to come dress shopping with you right?”

“Of course you do, how could you even ask?” You reassured her. “Besides, I’ve had a look through magazines and stuff, and honestly have no clue what I’m after. So I’ll need you superior fashion advice.”

“Also,” She started, an unsure tone to her voice. “So is… everyone on the team invited, or..?”

“I’ve not invited my ex-boyfriend to my wedding. It’d be weird.” You answered quickly knowing what she was getting at.

Penelope sighed. “Yeah, I guess…”

You knew she’d feel bad. He was still her friend, and she wouldn’t want him to feel left out. You didn’t want him to feel left out, but having him at your wedding would make you feel weird.

You quickly changed the subject. “But are you bringing anyone?”

 1 month later, you get a call from Penelope.

You hadn’t heard from her for a while, and she sounded more stressed then she had in a long time. The team had just solved a very difficult case, and it turns out that she had been living at the office because she was being targeted. She couldn’t tell you anything, to protect herself and you, which you understood.

“Anyway, Reid had gone in to sit with her, trying to trick a confession out of her, or get her to say something, I don’t know.”

“But you guys got her? Your safe now right?” You could hear her voice shaking.

“Yeah, I’m just reeling a little still.” She took a deep breath. “She was just, like… a real life super evil genius.”

“I’ll come up and see you soon, okay. But like you said, she’s on her way to prison as we speak, you’re not in any danger. And the team would do anything for you. You know that.”

“I know, I know. It’s like, since Hotch told me, I just keep repeating it to myself to calm down.” She huffed. “Cat Adams is gone. Cat Adams is gone.”

[stories-and-such]

“What do you feel like tonight?” Kara asked Alex as they stumbled into Kara’s apartment. It had been a long day, on top of an extremely long week, and all either of them wanted to do was sit down on the couch, order takeout, drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol and fall asleep after watching The Wizard of Oz for the millionth time.

“Umm,” Alex sighed as she shut the door. “How about pizza? Pizza and wine sounds good right about now.”

“I will call it in,” Kara smiled.

Alex moved expertly in her sister’s kitchen, pulling out two wine glasses and the bottle they kept stashed in the cupboard next to the fridge. She walked over to the living room and set everything down on the coffee table, getting blankets for her and Kara and setting up the space so by the time Kara was done ordering the pizza, blankets were laid out, glasses of wine were poured and The Wizard of Oz was ready to play.

After their food arrived, they both settled down on the couch and watched the movie. Kara could recite every line, and she did throughout the entire movie. Alex swore up and down that it drove her insane, but the way she laughed after certain lines or the way she said them a little quieter at some points, she had to admit, at least to herself, that it was kind of endearing.

Once the movie was over the two sisters rearranged themselves on the couch so they were now facing each other.

“So,” Alex said, taking a sip from her glass, “how are things with Lena?”

Kara smiled a little at the mention of her friend’s name. “Good… yeah, umm, you know, we’re still trying to get back to normal, back to how things were before she found out but I’d say we’re making progress.”

“You guys had lunch last week, right?” Alex asked, though of course she knew. It was all Kara could talk about for days.

Lena asked her to join her for lunch on Wednesday afternoon as a way to try and start making amends. Kara agreed and she’d spent the two days leading up to their meal ranting to Alex every chance she got. “What am I going to wear?” “What do I say?” “Alex, stop texting Kelly and help me!” It was only after their lunch that she was back to normal and not this nervous wreck that she had become.

“Yeah, oh my gosh, I never told you how it went.” Kara turned her body completely in the direction of her sister and sat up a little straighter. “It went so much better than I thought it would. I thought it was going to be awkward and quiet, that neither of us would know what to say but, it wasn’t like that at all. She asked me if I was working on any new stories and I told her about the new lead I got with the Alvarez case. We talked about what she was planning on working on at L-Corp now and about other stuff that wasn’t work related.” She took a moment to compose herself after a small fit of laughter. “And then she told me this joke. Oh my gosh, I can’t remember exactly how it went but it was hilarious, you should have heard it, she almost made orange juice come out of my nose.”

Alex smiled. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her sister this happy. She’d almost forgotten what she looked like when she didn’t have the weight of the world on her shoulders. Or the weight of a huge secret, for that matter.

“Sounds like you had a nice time,” Alex commented.

“Yeah, we did.”

“So none of that awkwardness that you were panicking about?”

Kara laughed and shook her head, pulling at a loose thread on the edge of the blanket resting on her lap. “No, no awkward silence or tension or anything. It was kind of like old times, except this time she knew the whole truth. And we talked about Supergirl, too. She apologized again for how she reacted before, which I really appreciated. She feels so bad about everything and I hate that there’s nothing I can do to make her feel better. She just has such a big heart and she’s so kind and compassionate…” Her sentence trailed off as she spaced out, still pulling at the thread but staring past Alex, past the wall behind her. “And pretty and smart… creative, thoughtful and just so --”

“Kara?” Alex said, waving her hand in front of her sister’s face.

Kara focused her attention back on the redhead. “Hmm?”

Alex’s eyes narrowed. “Kara, is there something you’d like to tell me?”

“What would I have to tell you?” Kara asked, tilting her head to the side, slightly. The genuine confusion on her face made Alex want to laugh and yell at her at the same time. How could she be so oblivious?

“Come on, you have to know,” Alex pushed, but her sister’s confused, blank stare stayed in place. “Oh my god, you really don’t know, do you?”

Kara threw her arms out in frustration. “Don’t know what, Alex? What are you talking about?”

Alex leaned a little closer and put her hand on Kara’s knee. Then, very slowly, she said, “You’re in love with Lena.”

It took a moment for her words to register in the blonde’s mind, but when they did, she scoffed and pushed Alex’s hand off.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not in love with Lena. I mean, do I think she’s pretty? Umm, yeah, I’m not blind. Have you seen her? The woman is drop dead gorgeous. But do I find her attractive in that way? Well… yeah, actually…”

Alex watched Kara carefully, keeping quiet and letting her sort through all of this by herself. She was curious as to where this was going.

“And, alright, maybe I find her super interesting and cool, creative, intelligent on like a genius level and I think she’s thoughtful and she has a really big heart and I find myself fantasizing about our future together and maybe I think about what our kids’ names would be, but I wouldn’t say I’m in -- oh my god I’m in love with Lena.”

Alex leaned back and soaked in her sister’s reaction. All those years leading up to this very moment were definitely worth it. The look of utter shock and surprise on Kara’s face, the slight disbelief in her eyes, it was priceless. It made Alex wish she had charged her phone this morning so she could take a picture, capture the moment digitally so she could show it at Kara and Lena’s wedding -- because there definitely would be one, she could guarantee it.

After Kara had had a minute or so to get over the initial shock, she turned back to Alex, anger written across her features. For a second Alex through Kara was going to melt her face off.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Kara yelled as she got up from the couch. She paced back and forth in the small living room, hands on her hips, occasionally running her fingers through her hair.

“I thought you knew!” Alex shouted back, a small smirk starting to form on the edge of her lips. She pressed her lips together to stop it from forming, but boy, did she want to laugh.

Kara stopped pacing and looked straight at her older sister, hands now crossed over her chest. “Who else knows?”

Alex took another sip of her wine, looking everywhere but her eyes.

“Does everybody know?!”

Alex pulled the glass away from her lips but kept it close, staring at the red liquid at the bottom as she spoke, rather quietly. “Kelly thought you guys were dating when she first met you and Nia and Brainy refer to you guys as The Old Married Couple…”

Kara grunted and covered her face with both of her hands. After letting out a frustrated sigh she looked back up at her sister and asked, “How am I the last to find out?”

Alex leaned over to the coffee table and poured herself another glass. “Well, no offense Kara, but you’ve always been a little slow when it comes to these things,” she shrugged.

When she sat back, as soon as her back hit the back of the couch, she felt a cushion hit her straight in the face, effectively making her spill wine all over the blanket that was draped over her lap and on her shirt.

“Offense taken,” Kara mumbled before she stomped into her room.

Alex followed her, laughing as she called out, “Oh, come on Kara, don’t be mad! It’s actually one of your more endearing qualities!”

Read on AO3

[softyoongiionly]

Can I Make a Mess Now?

Jungkook’s never had sex before but, after realizing that he’s falling in love with you, he thinks he wants that to change.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Virgin! Jungkook, established relationship au, college au, smut, fluff.

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N: This is a part 2 to Will You Make a Mess Now? Please please please let me know what you think! Love you

Warnings: smut, language, 18+ only please.

Winter break never lasts long enough does it?

A few short weeks of bliss and then-

BOOM.

You’re forced out of the warm and lazy cocoon of holiday spirit and, back into the rigidity of modern education.

It’s not that you don’t enjoy your studies, it’s just that after nearly four years of exams and, group projects that never go exactly as planned; you are starting to feel burnt out.

It also doesn’t help that you spent the majority of your winter break sleeping over at your boyfriends house.

You got used to the weight of his head on your chest.

You got used to running your fingers through his hair; an act that lulled both of you to sleep.

You got used to waking up beside him every morning.

When the semester started once again, the two of you agreed that you’d reserve overnight stays to weekends only.

As encouraging as you were of each other’s success, copious amounts of alone time is a (delightful) distraction.

Especially since the two of you began exploring the boundaries of your relationship.

At the beginning of winter break, Jungkook had revealed to you that not only was he a virgin but, he’s never been touched before.

After a bit of discussion, he decided that he wanted you to change that.

And boy did you…

You still can’t get the images of him falling apart beneath the firm grasp of your hand out of your head.

It’s arguably one of the best things you’ve ever seen.

Jungkook’s room became the safe haven for exploration.

Many cold nights were spent underneath his duvet, touching on each other until things eventually got heated enough for you to take turns making eachother cum.

Happy Holidays indeed.

There was one night in particular that things got a little out of hand.

In the heat of the moment, Jungkook had torn off your t-shirt, leaving the two of you to make out in your underwear.

He positioned you on his lap with a low whine in his throat and, at the feeling of your heat pressing directly into his dick; he almost lost it right then and there.

It took everything in him to keep his hands steady.

To keep them from ripping your panties off…

However, he succeeded and although, it was painful to slow things down, he knew it was the right thing to do.

The only problem is, that night increased his desire to a level he’s never felt before.

He knows he wants you to be his first but; he’s so particular and, so sensitive to his surroundings that he wants to make sure everything is perfect.

Perfection is a concept he frequently struggles with and, although he’s lessened his standards over the years, he still finds himself reverting back to his old habits.

Losing his virginity is a big deal for him.

He can’t help that.

And because it carries so much weight, he feels the need to hold off until the moment is 100% right.

But, how does he define such a thing?

He knows he wants you.

He knows you want him.

He knows he’s falling in love with you…

So, how is a perfect moment established?

Can you plan it?

Jungkook doesn’t know but, he’s starting to believe that he can’t.

His brothers don’t understand his issues.

Seokjin’s been with his girlfriend for two years and, every time she comes to visit, he can hear her moaning through his bedroom door.

An event that continuously scars him.

Namjoon is engrossed in his studies so, he doesn’t make time for relationships.

But one time, when he was looking for his laptop, Jungkook walked in on him getting his dick sucked.

He’s still never gotten that image out of his head.

Hoseok literally attended an orgy two months ago.

Jimin’s dating his childhood sweetheart.

Taehyung stays over at the sorority house at least twice a week.

And, last but not least, Yoongi frequently walks around sporting various love bites and scratch marks after a night with his girlfriend.

Jungkook’s spoken with his hyungs’ regarding sex a few times but, it’s never a conversation he initiates.

He’s far too shy to openly speak about these things.

But from what he’s gathered, sex is top notch.

None of his brothers could think of anything that feels as good, although Yoongi did cite sleeping as a close second.

After a long week of lectures and tedious lab work, Jungkook has finally decided that he wants to lose his virginity.

Or at least…he’s ready to talk about it…

He starts off guns a blazing: he sends you a text trying to appear nonchalant despite the fact that his heart is currently pounding in his chest.

Jungkook: do you want to come over tonight? 

Jungkook: there’s a new season of that anime we started watching :)

His message does the same bit of damage on your heart because, although you two have been dating for quite some time, you still get excited at the thought of seeing him.

You: plzzz

You: this first week has killed me

You: I need to relax so bad

You: my brain cell count has dropped to dangerously low amount.

Jungkook chuckles to himself, shaking his head at your response.

Jungkook: wow

Jungkook: lower than normal???

Jungkook: that’s pretty bad jagi :/

You giggle, already gathering your toothbrush and, various other items needed for an overnight stay.

You:  I know

You: it’s a tragedy : (

Despite the playful banter between the two of you, Jungkook is furiously moving around his room, cleaning every inch of it.

He’s dusting the shelves, vacuuming his floor, rearranging his figurines on his desk.

He feels like a mad man…

Jungkook: lol you’re ridiculous

Jungkook: you can come over around 7 if you’re ready; I’m just finishing up an assignment.

Jungkook: miss you <3

Your boyfriend is literally sour patch kid.

You: miss you too 

You: falling asleep without you sucks

You: 10/10 would not recommend

Jungkook smiles, gripping his phone in his hand, a flurry of emotions stirring in his stomach.

Jesus, he really likes you…

Jungkook: stay the night then

Jungkook: I’ll make sure you sleep better tonight

He feels proud of himself.

He initiated you coming over, he’s holding a playful/flirty conversation with you, and he’s totally not freaking out at the fact that he’s going to have to tell you he’s ready to have sex.

Right?

Okay, the last part is definitely a lie but he’s just gonna go with it.

You: on my way :)

Jungkook receives this text from you roughly two hours later when he’s getting out of the shower.

He deep cleaned his bedroom, put fresh bedding on his mattress, scrubbed every inch of his body and, now he was standing in front of the mirror with nothing but a towel on his hips.

He takes time slathering lotion all over his skin, hoping that you like the vanilla-honey scent before applying a copious amount of deodorant.

He shaved in the shower, taking his time to remove the bit of hair around his crotch because it makes him feel cleaner.

Jungkook’s hair is getting longer too so, he’s been putting leave in conditioner on his ends to keep them healthy and spritzing his hair with anti-frizz serum.

After roughly 20 minutes of primping, he gets another text from you as he’s pulling on his sweat pants.

You: Here <333

Jungkook feels his stomach twist whilst reading your message.

Here goes nothing…

You’re standing outside the door of Jungkook’s house, dressed in a hoodie and a pair of leggings.

Comfy works out for you because, it requires minimal effort and, it’s also your boyfriend’s favorite look on you.

So, it’s a win win.

Given the fact that you and Jungkook usually end up fooling around, you took the time to exfoliate and shave whilst you were in the shower.

You may have also worn a new lacy red bra that had arrived in the mail earlier that day…

But, who knows?

“Yahhh there she is…”

You instantly light up as Jungkook eagerly swings open his front door, quickly pulling you into his grasp.

He smells amazing but, he feels even better and, you waste no time in pulling him close to you.

“I missed you.” You mutter into his hair

He grins, hugging you a bit tighter and, ushering you inside, “Missed you too, are you cold at all?”

Stepping through the threshold of his door, you notice that he’s freshly showered himself, his hair is damp and stringy but, it frames his face perfectly

“A little bit but, I plan on using you for warmth really soon so, I’m good.”

His hand is intertwined with yours as he leads you up to his room and, his face lights up with a smile.

“I got a new duvet on Tuesday, it’s really warm but,” He places a hand on his chest. “,you can still use me though, I missed having you here.”

Jungkook mutters the last half of his sentence, his cheeks warming up at his confession before he pushes open the bedroom door.

You don’t comment on his shyness but, it makes you smile and lean into him a little more.

His room is always clean but, the fresh scent of his disinfectant spray is slightly more pungent than normal. It isn’t a harsh smell; it’s a soft lavender cleaner that he special orders from Korea.

He absolutely hates the scent of bleach.

“It’s a nice color huh?”

Jungkook gestures to the muted grey of his new bedding, which is carefully placed over his mattress.

“I love it, it’s very you.” You smile as your eyes scan the room, “it matches your furniture really well too.”

His eyes light up, “Yeah, yeah that’s why I got it. I knew it would look good with the- um the desk and the dresser and stuff. See, I knew you’d notice that…you always notice things like that.”

Before you can respond he’s speaking again, his tone slightly uneven, “Um do you want to lay down? I know you said you were cold. I can hold you if you want-“ He grimaces at his word choice, not fully understanding why his nerves are taking over already, “not that  I don’t want to or anything. I do, I just…I know you’re cold.”

You touch your hand to his cheek, bringing his wandering eyes back to yours, “Are you ok?”

Jungkook swallows, his eyes locking with yours, “Y-Yeah, I just don’t want you to be cold…”

You’re not convinced.

Although the two of you have only been together for 6 months, you like to think you’ve gotten to know Jungkook really well. He isn’t exactly a closed book and, when he’s nervous about something, it’s fairly obvious.

“Are you suuuure?”

The question is paired with a soft kiss to his lips and, Jungkook can’t help but smile when you do, his posture relaxing slightly.

“I’m sure, I’m just happy you’re here. It was weird not seeing you all week.” He tucks a stray hair behind your ear before, pecking your lips.

Again, you’re not convinced but, you don’t want to pry.

He’ll tell you when he’s ready.

The matter of his worries is dropped and, Jungkook quickly (and neatly) pulls back the covers so, that the two of you can slip underneath them.

Moments later, you’re nestled against your boyfriend’s side, draping your arm over your stomach.

“You smell good…” You mutter against his sweater, nuzzling gently against the material.

Jungkook grins triumphantly, silently patting himself on the back for his choice of lotion.

“Thank you,” His chest vibrates with the sound of his voice, “so do you…”

With that, he tentatively raises a hand towards your hair, allowing his fingertips to brush over the top of your head.  

The anime begins playing but, you’re more focused on the way his fingers feel, as you melt into the soft fabric of his sweatshirt.

And halfway through the first episode, Jungkook’s motions are beginning to take a toll on you.

But not in the way you’d normally expect…

He’s smiling softly, admiring the way you sigh at his touch, taking time to play with the ends of your hair before massaging gently at your scalp.  

“You’re going to make me sleepy…” You mumble contently, a few minutes later and, Jungkook chuckles breathlessly beneath you.

“That’s ok; you can sleep if you need to.”  

He means it.

Jungkook had other things on his agenda but, now that you’re here, all he cares about is your comfort.  

“Don’t wanna sleep-“ You nudge your nose against his ribcage, “I missed you.”

With another chuckle, he traces his fingers over the edges of your hairline, brushing over the shell of your ear.

You can feel goosebumps rising on your skin but, it’s not intrusive or sudden, they come on slowly along with a type of comfort that only Jungkook can provide.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” He soothes, his motions continuing over the arches of your brows before, he traces back up the expanse of your forehead. “I promise.”

You can feel yourself smile as your blinking slows, taking another deep breath whilst your body seems to melt into him.

The heaviness in your eyelids is growing despite your best efforts to warrant off your exhaustion.

You didn’t want to nap, you wanted to spend time with your boyfriend but, when he tucks his fingers beneath your hair and, begins scratching gently on your scalp, the threat of sleep becomes more prominent.

“Sleepy girl…” He teases, a fond smile on his lips as he watches your eyes finally close. His thumb brushes over your cheek, gently pinching at the skin before, returning his hand to your hair.

This warms you from the inside out and, sooner or later you can’t help but, drift off into a light sleep.

Jungkook smile grows and, he slows his movements to a stop before tugging on the duvet until it covers your shoulders.  

He decides in that moment that he really wouldn’t mind spending every night just like this; tucked under the covers, falling asleep in eachother’s arms.  

He changes the show to something you’ve already seen; he doesn’t want to watch the anime without you.  

After some time has passed, you slowly come out of your slumber, happy you’re still laying on your boyfriend’s chest.  

You peer up at Jungkook to see his brow furrowed in concentration as his gaze is locked firmly on the screen.  

A smile immediately finds it’s way onto your lips, your finger reaching out to bop him on the nose.

He jumps at first, not understanding the source of the interruption before he quickly matches your smile, ““Yah she’s awake. Did you have a good nap?” He thumbs over your cheek once more and, you’re overcome by the urge to press a kiss against his lips

He’s willing and able to accept it.

His hands come up to hold you against him and, he slowly begins to move his lips against yours

“Mhm...”

His nose wrinkles with the joy on his face as he presses more kisses to your lips.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep, I just haven’t been getting to bed on time this week...”

An adorable pout comes over his mouth, “Don’t be sorry, I’m glad you were able to get some rest. It’s not late or anything.”

It’s well past sunset but, Jungkook’s vanilla cake candle is providing enough light to illuminate the details of your boyfriends face.  

You kiss him again, just because he’s cute and you can, “What did you do while I was out?”

His head reclines against his pillow again but, he tugs you closer, ensuring that you remain against him.

“I watched a few episodes of Naruto...” He admits, “I’ve seen it a million times but, I never get tired of it.”

Your arms drape over his shoulders as the upper half of your body rests over his chest. The wispy ends of his black hair are too cute to resist so you absentmindedly toy with them as you respond,

“I get it, I have a few different shows that I’m like that with; I swear I’ve seen The Office so many times I could quote it in my sleep.”  

A half smirk curves on the end of his mouth, “Yeah that’s a good one too, Jin hyung watches that show all the time.”

You giggle, tucking a bit of hair behind his ear, “Ah that explains a lot actually, Jin and Michael Scott have a lot in common.”

He chuckles at that, nodding in agreement, leaning his head against your hand.

“Which character do you think you are?”

You purse your lips, mulling it over, your eyes narrowing in thought, “Hmmm that’s a tough one cause like- I wanna say Kelly because, she’s amazing but in reality, I’m probably more of a Kevin.”

Jungkook’s smirk grows, “Isn’t that the guy who dropped his chili all over the place?

With a dramatic sigh, you nod, “God, I’ve never related to anyone more in my entire life...”

A full belly laugh comes from your boyfriends pretty mouth, his body trembling beneath you as he shakes his head.

It’s one of your favorite sounds, especially when it gets all high pitched like it is now.

“Jagi you aren’t Kevin...” He insists, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, “You are cooler than him.”

“You’re just saying that because you see the best side of me; in reality I am 100% Kevin.” You giggle, tucking more hair behind his other ear.

He still chuckles, shaking his head before nodding to you, “Who do you think I am?”

This definitely gets your brain going.

“I’m leaning towards Jim, you guys have a lot in common.” You nod as you continue to think about their similarities, “Yeah, you both have the same sense of humor and, even though you’re more sexy in an obvious way, you both have the same kind of sexiness?? If that makes sense?? But, you’re definitely hotter than Jim.”

You force your train of thought away from the office- style fantasy that pops into your head as Jungkook feels something stir deep in his gut.

“You think I’m sexy?”

You can’t help but laugh at the surprised look on his face, you swear you’ll never understand how Jungkook doesn’t see how hot he is.

“Duh.” You seal your response with a kiss but, Jungkook surprises you by sitting up and tugging you onto his lap.

He chuckles at the squeal that leaves your lips but, he carries on kissing you, his hands sliding up your outer thighs.

You don’t know what prompts his motions but, you’re not really in the mood to ask.

You’d much rather sit on your boyfriend’s lap and, make out with him.

“Can you-” He whispers against your lips, slightly breathless, “Can you say it?”

Your eyes flutter open to catch the shyness in his, “Can I say what?”

Warmth floods the apples of his cheeks, “Can you say that you think I’m sexy?”

A smirk teases the corners of your mouth and, tentatively you roll your hips against his.

“Are you trying to get hard Jungkook?”

You can hear him gulp, his eyes widening a bit before he nods.

With a smirk still on your lips, you tilt his head back, moving your fingers through his hair as you slowly begin placing kisses up the side of his neck.

His breathing picks up and, god help him, he immediately feels his dick hardening in his sweats.  

Jungkook’s neck is a sensitive area and, you know exactly where his weak spots are.

As you reach the lobe of his ear, you feel his grip tighten on your hips, his mouth parted slightly to make way for his shaky breath.  

“Jungkook?” You whisper in his ear, biting your lip as you see him visibly shiver beneath you.

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re sexy.”  

You nibble on his ear before quickly reuniting your lips, your hands sliding underneath his sweater.

His skin is so soft, so warm beneath your fingertips and, there is a large part of you that wishes you could spend hours just touching and kissing your boyfriend’s body.

Jungkook is eagerly reciprocating your kiss whilst his hands slowly move back up the outsides of your thighs.

His plan to get hard definitely worked because, you can feel him poking against your hips and, you’re already thinking of all the different ways you can make him cum.

“Did you get hard for me?” You whisper against his swollen lips, nudging his nose

Instantly he nods, his hands tugging the hem of your hoodie.

You take the hint, pulling back from him in order to remove it.  

Your plan is to continue kissing him of course but, as Jungkook spots the fire-red lace cups supporting the swells of your breasts, he lets out a tortured sigh.

“Is that new?” He swallows thickly, biting his bottom lip, allowing his hands to trail up your hips before securing themselves against your waist.

All you do is nod, sticking your chest out a bit and, encouraging him to keep touching you.

Jungkook leans in, dragging the tip of his nose between your breasts, inhaling when he reaches the space between your color bones.

“Did you wear this for me?”

His voice is ragged but, it’s deeper than normal, due to the arousal coating his tone.

“I wanted to look pretty for you.” You whisper, running your fingers through his hair.

You can feel him smile against your chest, his wet lips trailing back to tops of the bra, “You’re always pretty but this-” He grows bolder, biting softly at your breast, “this is torture”

A giggle bubbles past your lips, as you roll down against him once more.

“Jagi I-” The sensation of pleasure that toys with his body acts like a truth serum and, in an act of desperation that he definitely didn’t plan, a confession tumbles from his mouth, “I want you.”

But you don’t quite catch his drift, still rocking slowly against him, arousal slowly beginning to unravel you, “I want you too.”

No like,” He pulls away, his eyes glazed over with desire as they lock onto yours, “I want to be inside of you...”

It’s like a punch to the gut really, the way your boyfriend’s voice seems to quake under the weight of his admission.

You cup his cheek, “Really? Are you sure?”

He nods eagerly, licking his lips before turning to press a kiss to the inside of your wrist, “I want you so bad...”  

You’re quick to capture his lips then, kissing into him with more fervor than you ever have.  

"Can you do it for us Noona?” He croons into your mouth, his eyes darkened with lust as they plead with yours.

A nod is all you can manage at his devasting way of asking you to ride him.

For the first time...

You’re pulling off his sweater, securing your lips to his once more, kissing on them as you lean him back against the pillows.

Your bottoms are removed, leaving you completely naked as you tug his sweats down his legs.

Jungkook’s erection looks painful and, you feel yourself ache at the thought of finally being able to sit on it.

As you sit astride him once more, you lean down to press a kiss between his eyes before trailing your lips down the bridge of his nose to hover over his mouth.

He looks a little emotional, staring up at you as if you hung the moon just for him.

And you would, you’d do anything for him.

“Are you ready baby?” You whisper

He takes a deep and unstable breath through his nose but, gives you a nod anyway as he exhales through his mouth.

Right as you start lining him up with your entrance, Jungkook cups your cheek, his hand clammed up due to his nerves.

“Jagi?” He croaks

You kiss his hand gently, reassurance in your eyes, “Yeah?”

“G-Go slow please...”

You nod, “Of course, tell me if you want to stop at any point ok?”

He returns your nod before, letting out another breath as his head returns to his pillows.

Slowly but surely, you begin sheathing him in your heat, going as slow as possible so he can feel everything.

His body seems to freeze as you sink down on him, his hands tightening on your hips before a gasp leaves his throat.

Jungkook is quite sure he’s in heaven.

That’s the only explanation for the intense feelings of pleasure swimming through his body. He’s never felt anything so hot, so tight-  

So fucking good.

He’s going to lose his mind.  

With wide eyes, he stares up at you in awe, his lips parted as the length of his dick is fully inside of you.

You’re not fairing too well either because, Jungkook fills you up perfectly, nudging against the spot within you that makes your head spin.

“Is that ok?”

“ ‘ss so good...”  His voice is slurred as his hips jerk beneath you, sending a wave of pleasure through your core.

Biting your lip, you thumb his cheek, trying to hold it together, “Can I ride you now?”

You’re asking because, you want to make sure he’s prepared.

You know this isn’t going to last long but, you still want to blow his mind.

“I’m already so close jagi...I’m sorry...” He chokes on the end of his sentence when you start a pace on his dick, “Oh fu- oh my god...”

“Shh...don’t be sorry, you’re doing so good. You cum whenever you need to ok?”  

“Ah- Y/N...”  

His beautiful features are screwed up in pleasure, his hands falling off your hips because, he literally doesn’t have the strength to hold on at this point.

Jungkook’s breathing is growing rapid, as his eyes flit to where you’re connected, “Jagi I’m- I’m really inside...I’m really inside of you...” He marvels, his voice weak with emotion as his hips begin to meet yours.  

“You feel so good inside of me.” You assure him, increasing your pace which prompts his eyes to roll back momentarily.

“Will you kiss me? Please? I wanna kiss you when I cum...and I’m-” His eyes re-focus but, it doesn’t last long as you lean forward to brace your hands on either side of his head, “Jagi I’m gonna cum already...I’m gonna cum so hard. Oh sh- shit...”

You want every wish of his to come true.

You lean down to connect your lips, your hips moving faster and faster, wanting him to cum harder than he ever has in his entire life.

He whimpers into your mouth as his sweaty hands hold you tightly against his body.

“It’s...fuck I’m sorry, I’m sor- I'm cumming.” He chokes out, his grip tightening intensely as his hips weakly jerk with the force of his release.

He says your name as he cums inside of you, trying his best to kiss you properly but, it’s wet and sloppy.

You don’t care though, you ride him through his orgasm, keeping your lips connected.

“There you go, cum for me baby...” You coo, kissing all over his face as the pleasure continues to wrack his senses.

Jungkook knows his never cum harder in his life and, by the time his orgasm settles down, he’s properly spent.

He doesn’t completely register the feeling of you sliding off of him as his whole body is alight with tingles.

You make sure to clean him up, pressing gentle kisses to his stomach as you do.

You didn’t cum this time and, to be honest, it doesn’t really matter.

What you’ve both just experienced was too intimate to measure and, orgasms weren’t really the point this time.

Tucking into your boyfriend’s body you bring him close, tugging the duvet over his shoulders this time...

“Hi” He whispers, tucking his face shyly into your neck, his breathing not fully recovered.

“Hi you...”  

With a smile on your mouth, you press a kiss to his head, holding him tightly to you.

He kisses your chest, feeling ridiculous at how shy he suddenly feels, “I think-” He stops himself to peek up at you, a bit of moisture in his eyes, “I think I’m falling for you.”

Your heart throbs at his confession, kissing his lips once more before whispering, “I think I am too.”

Jungkook knows you didn’t finish and, he plans on addressing that when he settles down but right now, all he can do is hold you.

He thinks he’s finally figured it out:

You can’t plan a perfect moment because, perfection just doesn’t exist.

But as along as he’s with you, it doesn’t really matter.

[bibliosophist]

Soft as Bread, Sweet as Honey: Chapter 2

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 |

When the alarm rings the two of you spring apart like charged magnets, faces tomato red. You’re sure he can hear your heart pounding even over the trilling of your phone. You can’t believe you forgot where you were. How long had the two of you been like that? Had anybody seen you? 

Beel laughs sheepishly, running a hand through his already messy hair and standing up in one smooth movement. “I guess we’d better get to class, huh?” he says, reaching a hand down to help you up. You quickly rearrange your skirt and tuck your container of mostly uneaten salad back in your bookbag. You roll on to your knees before letting him pull you the rest of the way up. His hand is warm around yours, and you don’t notice that your fingers are shaking until he lets them go.

You have an English class after lunch-- Demonology in Medieval Literature, and he walks you there. You don’t talk on the way, but when you reach the door of your classroom he turns to face you. “I... I guess I’ll see you in Xavier’s class.” He leans forward and very quickly places a kiss on the top of your head before turning away and walking down the corridor. It isn’t until you’re seated at your desk that you realize he has a class right now too, Sports Management, you think, on the other side of campus. It’ll be a miracle if he isn’t late.

You can’t concentrate on anything Professor Malory says. Satan raises an eyebrow in your direction when you can’t answer the professor’s question about themes of spiritual warfare in The Faerie Queene. He’s well aware that you have an answer for that. A well researched answer, with citations. Knows it’s in your bookbag, because the two of you spent a good portion of your Sunday afternoon reading and rereading the poem, discussing that very topic. You avoid meeting his eyes.

Though you and Satan share your next class and usually walk there together, you take off alone as soon as the lesson ends, desperate for him not to catch you in the hallway. You can’t think of an excuse for your lack of attention that doesn’t include the memory of his brother’s hand slipping into your underwear playing in your head over and over again. Thankfully, your genetics class is in a different building, and you hope that the walk will give you some time to clear your head before you see Beel again.

You’re not sure how you feel. Excited? Embarrassed? Vaguely nauseous? Yes to all of the above, actually. You wouldn’t- couldn’t- deny that you had greatly enjoyed your moment with the demon. The feeling of his warm hand on your skin and the taste of his lip in your mouth had left you feeling more than a little tipsy. Just thinking about what could have happened had your alarm not sounded brought the blood rising to your cheeks again. You shook your head like a dog with water in its ears. You couldn’t think about that right now, not when you knew you would be seeing him in just a few minutes. You had to keep your head clear and your thoughts focused. Get through the day, and then you could have a panic attack in the privacy of your room.

When you reach your classroom you’re very conscious of the thin sheen of sweat that has developed over your forehead. Clearly, you haven’t been able to calm yourself down as much as you’d hoped to. You wipe it away with the back of your hand as discreetly as you can, making a beeline for an empty table at the back of the room. Several other students have already arrived and are in the process of settling in, but none of them are Beel. 

You can’t help but feel both relieved and disappointed as you unpack your bag, pulling out your laptop and waking it up. You’ve just opened your lecture notes when, out of the corner of your eye, you catch a shock of brilliantly orange hair coming through the doorway. You lift your eyes from your computer screen, and they meet his across the room. A smile crosses his face and, to your mingled terror and excitement, he begins to make his way towards the empty chair beside you. You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until Sybil slides smoothly into the seat next to you, causing you to squeak in surprise. You just catch the disappointed look on Beel’s face as you turn to face your project partner. She’s already deep into a speech on how you’re going to frame the introduction to your paper, and you desperately hope that she’s transcribed her instructions somewhere, because your heart is beating too loudly to hear them. You notice again how beautiful she is, eyes lit up with determination. You groan internally, knowing she’s going to push you on this project just as hard as Lucifer himself would.

***

When Professor Xavier dismisses you, the boys beat you to the door. You know that there’s no hope of walking back to the House alone. You have no idea how to talk to Beel one on one right now, let alone in front of one of his most perceptive brothers.

“(Y/N),” Satan says when you reach them, “Are you alright? You’ve been... quiet this afternoon.”

“Fine,” you say, as the three of you navigate through the building and out across the campus green, “I just have a really bad headache.”

Beside his brother, Beel grumbles low in his chest. “Probably because you barely touched your lunch. Let’s stop for a snack on the way home,” he rubs his stomach, “I could use one, too. I’m starving.”

You don’t have time to respond as Asmo comes striding over from the music building to meet your group. “Hi hi!” he sings, voice tinkling like a bell in your ear as he matches your pace, looping his arm around yours. “What are we talking about?”

“Stopping for food,” Beel answers, glancing down at your intertwined arms, the corners of his mouth tightening.

“Ooh, I could go for some gelato,” Asmo replies. From Beel’s other side you hear Satan snort.

“We should get something more substantial than dessert. Mammon and Belphie are cooking duty tonight. You know Mammon will blow it off, and Belphie will sleep through it.” To your surprise, Beel doesn’t jump to defend his twin. You all know that Satan is right.

“Mmm,” Asmo hums, “That’s true. We’ll starve to death if we don’t stop somewhere. What are you in the mood for, (Y/N?)”

You swear you can feel your insides freeze as they wait for your answer. The last thing you want to do is talk about what you want to eat. You glance up at Beel without meaning to.

“How about that burger place?” he says.

Asmo makes a tsking sound. “I didn’t ask you, you big lug. You’d eat burgers all day, every day if you could.”

“Well, yeah,” he replies, casually stretching his arms up and locking his hands behind his head, “but I thought Yuki might like some familiar, human food.” He looks down at you, “they have other stuff there too, if you don’t feel like a burger.”

Your stomach rumbles at the mention of burgers, and you blush. “We don’t have to go there just for me,” you say. “How about that pizza place you guys like?”

“No, let’s do the burger place,” Asmo says, “I just remembered that they have those sinful peach milkshakes. You’ll split one with me, right (Y/N)?” he asks, beaming at you in a way that only Asmo can.

You know that you can’t say no now without it being weird, so you smile back and nod.

“Great, I’ll text the others.”