#I still remember this dream like it happened a day before

[dyns33]

Only wastelands

I will try to do this Cooper Howard x reader in three parts, but I like the Ghoul so much, I might want to write more

People said Y/N’s neighborhood was lucky.

After a draw, they were selected to join a Vault shelter for free, if something dramatic happened one day, allowing them to survive.

Y/N had received the news with mixed feelings. She didn't want to die from a nuclear bomb, but she also didn't want to think about the possibility of a nuclear bomb falling on their heads.

There was no reason for this to happen anyway.

China and the United States had resumed peace negotiations. The war was going to end and everything would be wonderful. The vaults would then be of no use.

That day, she was washing dishes in her small kitchen. She lived alone, having left her parents who were in another state to settle near Lors Angeles.

Of course, she had first dreamed of Hollywood, and then she had been reasonable, finding a normal job, to live a normal life.

First there was the light. For a moment, she blinked, wondering if she had fainted. And looking out the window, she first saw the smoke in the distance.

Her neighbors were out, she could see them in the street which also looked towards the city center, and no doubt they were talking, but Y/N heard nothing, all her attention fixed on the smoke.

It was just smoke. She watched without being able to move as the cloud grew, before the shock wave reached her house, destroying the windows and shaking the walls.

Screams were then heard, in addition to the sirens. Falling to the ground in shock, Y/N almost didn't get up, but one of the neighbors, instead of thinking selfishly, ran to see if she was still there, helping her to get up and taking her with her to the vault.

Everything happened very quickly after that.

Y/N vaguely remembered those smiling doctors, who explained to them that everything would be fine, doing several exams before putting what they called a pipboy on them, giving them a ridiculous blue and yellow jumpsuit.

"You are now the inhabitants of Vault 8. What has just happened is a tragedy, and we are going to need you to ensure the future of humanity."

They were taken to a large room, with human-sized tubes. The doctors explained that they would be put to sleep, kept in the cold, safe, and awakened only on the day when it would be possible to go out and repopulate the Earth without it being dangerous.

No one could have known that they were not safe at all.

When Y/N opened her eyes, she had a hard time understanding what was happening. There was no light in the vault, except for the one in her crate which had just opened automatically.

Most of the boxes in front of her were open and empty. Then turning around, she discovered decomposing corpses in those that had remained closed.

Her cries of terror brought no one to come, because there was no one in the shelter, just as there were no resources, no water, no food, nothing. Because no one was supposed to survive here.

For two days, Y/N cried, not knowing what to do.

Then she decided she didn't want to die, not like that anyway, and she tried her luck outside. She didn't know how long she had slept, or what she would find, but she had to try.

Her pipboy quickly told her that the air was breathable, despite the presence of radiation in certain places. But that wasn't the most important thing for her, seeing the desert surrounding the vault.

The bombs had destroyed everything, leaving only ruins and sand. Not being stupid, Y/N moved forward cautiously, trying to stay as covered as possible, even if it was difficult with her outfit.

On her way, she encountered two-headed cows, giant cockroaches, and other horrible creatures. No humans though, and she didn't know if that was a good thing.

With war, she knew that men could be much worse than beasts. Maybe they were all dead, from the explosions or all killing each other, or maybe they were still in the other vaults.

But life always found a way, even for assholes, and Y/N was attacked by three men while she was sleeping. Real savages, who talked more about eating her than anything else, laughingly ignoring her pleas.

“Now, that’s no way to treat a woman.” someone then said, stopping them as they were about to cut open her stomach.

"We found the bitch before you, pal ! Go get your lunch somewhere else !"

"Oh, but I think I found my meal. Mistreating a lady."

“You fucking ghoul !”

Too busy trying to get away, Y/N hadn't really looked at the man who had just arrived and was shooting at her attackers. Then, still too busy recovering from her misery, she took a while to raise her head, ready to thank her savior.

He didn't really seem surprised by her terror, although he grimaced as he watched her crawl away from him. She had to put her hand over her mouth to stop screaming.

It was impossible to tell if he had been burned or peeled, but the cowboy no longer had a nose, and his skin was in a catastrophic state.

As she stared at him with wide eyes, he watched her too, his attention settling on her pipboy.

"Ah. A vaultie. I understand the screams better. Never seen a ghoul before, sweetie ? Barely coming out of your little hole ?"

"… Sorry."

"No problem, sugar. You haven't insulted me or thrown things at me yet, it's quite polite."

At first, the ghoul was not very friendly. Yes, he had saved her, but he didn't want her to follow him into the wastelands. He didn't need a burden, and even less if it was a little rich girl.

But Y/N insisted, explaining to him what had happened to her, and the man looked at her with what looked like pity, muttering that she had ended up in one of the "bad vaults".

"I don't understand. What year is it ? Why is it only me who survived ? You… Sorry, what happened to you ?"

"Hey, honey. It's been over 200 years since everything blew up, thanks to Vault Tech. I imagine you and your friends were meant to serve as a pantry or an organ bank but like all their equipment, there's had a problem, and you were very lucky not to die like the others, and since you were there when everything happened, you should be able to guess why I am like this."

The Ghoul was gentleman enough to let her cry without comment.

The world was dead, and all because of money and power. Those who had sworn to protect them had killed them all. Nothing remained but an infertile, polluted, radioactive land, where the few survivors fought between factions instead of trying to find a real solution.

"Please… Don't leave me here…"

"You know, people didn't really like guys like me. It's not a good idea, sweetheart."

“They don’t like cowboys ?”

The question made him laugh. Maybe that was why he let her follow him. Or maybe because he wasn't as bad as he wanted to make out. Surely he felt lonely too, and it was nice to have someone who had lived in the same era as him , and who didn't judge him on his appearance.

Y/N didn’t understand ghoulophibia at all. Yes, they were scary, but that was no reason to mistreat these poor people.

"Okay, we judged on lots of things before, skin color, clothes, religion, but… Now, it's as if we were pointing at a cancer patient and shouting 'Look, he's sick Insult him !”

“It’s more complicated than that, sugar.” sighed the Ghoul, taking out a sort of hynalator to swallow its contents.

He explained radioactivity and the risks for him of becoming feral when they arrived in their first city. A chance for her to stay safe with people, their paths separating quietly.

But after three fights and an attack by Deathclaws, she preferred to stay with him.

So he taught her how to survive, use weapons, hide, follow a trail, earn caps. When asked why caps and not something else, he made a noise, saying he had no fucking idea, but men still wanted something to make business instead of helping each others for free.

After several months, he gave her a name. Cooper. Cooper Howard. He groaned when she asked him if he had anything to do with the old actor who did the Vault Tech commercial.

“Thanks for the bad memories, sweetie. An autograph ?”

“No thanks, never was a fan.”

"Ouch. Not even now, with my new look ? Do you think the cameras would like me ?"

“Let’s say that you will need less makeup for certain types of films, and a bag for others.”

Cooper laughed again, smiling at her with his slightly yellow teeth. It was obvious that it had been a long time since he had laughed like that with anyone.

He told her about his daughter after a year together in the wastelands. Handing her a photo, Y/N could see him as he was before, holding the little girl in his arms. They looked happy.

As she was about to give it back to him, he told her to keep it. It was the most important thing to him, so Y/N could keep the picture safe, and she would know that he would always come for her.

She muttered that she didn't doubt it anyway, putting the photo in her bag.

It was even longer later, when she had proclaimed herself the accountant of their small group, that Y/N noticed an inconsistency between the caps earned and the number of vials Cooper had.

“You should have five more vials.”

“Sugar, leave it.”

"No, really, I counted three times. I know the price by heart, you had fifty caps on your way to town, you should have fifteen vials. Is there a problem ? Has the price changed ? You… You Are you feeling well ?”

"I'm fine, sweetie. Sleep."

“But Coop…”

“Y/N, sleep.”

In the end, the price hadn't changed, Cooper was fine, but since they met, he had been spending his caps on non-irradiated water and food. For Y/N.

This discovery was a shock to her, who often watched him drink from puddles or eat human remains.

He didn't want her to do this. For her to become like him. When teaching her how to shoot, he added that it was just in case, because she wouldn't need to fight while he was there.

And now they were arguing about food, and he was ordering her to promise that she would continue to take what he gave her without question.

"You don't drink that dirty shit. You hear me, sugar ? Can you promise me ? You'll never drink that."

"… All right."

Their relationship was complicated. Cooper had probably told her everything, and yet he kept a distance. He didn't like her touching him, patting his shoulder or snuggling up to him to sleep.

Maybe he was afraid of making her sick. Maybe he thought she would rot on contact with him, and not just her skin.

Y/N really liked him anyway. They were both over 200 years old, even though she had been frozen during that time. They had spent a lot of time together. And even if she was still a little dizzy by his lack of nose, it wasn't the most important thing in a man.

It would have been two years when the raiders attacked. Far too many, so Cooper yelled at Y/N to run, to hide far away. He would come get her later.

Several days passed, and nothing. She was good at hiding, he had shown her, so it was possible that Cooper hadn't found her because she had become too good.

So she returned to the town where he came from, to at least find some informations. People did not easily forget the passage of The Ghoul.

But she didn't have to ask. She saw him in the bar, drinking and chatting with several guys.

Silent, discreet as a shadow, she came close enough to hear, thinking that he was in the middle of an business, and that she could surprise him when he finished with a beautiful reunion.

“You really don’t know where she is, Ghoul ?”

"Nah. Look guys, I know she was a real lil puppy that followed me everywhere, but I finally got rid of her, so I don't really care where she is. Not my problem. It was fun at first, but good riddance.”

She had seen the bomb fall, she had seen the bodies of her neighbors, but Y/N had never felt so bad as in that moment. She could feel her heart breaking in her chest, as Cooper and the others laughed together, mocking her.

Once, he had said that she should never trust anyone. It was an important rule to survive. But Y/N never believed that rule would include him.

With her bag and her weapon, she ran into the night, alone in the middle of the wasteland for the first time since she left her vault, and completely unaware of what she was going to do.

Only one thing was certain, she would never see Cooper Howard again.

[kydrogendragon]

"I simply said I believed he was lonely. And that was the reason for the games he had played with me back in Port Townsend," Edwin says, sitting with one leg resting on the knee of his other.

It's late in the New Inn and Hob just finished cleaning up the lobby. The Dead Boy Detective group—or as Hob joked, the Scooby Gang—have taken up a near permanent residence here now, given that Hob doesn't mind their presence and lets Crystal stay with them rent-free. In return, she helps out with designing the chalkboard ads he keeps outside the inn.

"And how'd his royal highness take that?" Charles laughs.

"Quite well, actually," Edwin replies. "I do believe we parted on good terms, given everything that happened. He gifted me that lily and parted amicably."

"Huh, weird. Figured he'd be the kind to get grumpy about being called lonely," Crystal says, circling the rim of the glass in front of her with her finger.

"Oooh, maybe he really is lonely and by you saying that, and him giving you that flower, that was his shy way of agreeing with you and wishing you would stay so he could be un-lonely!" Niko chimes.

"You do remember him, right? Same Cat King? That man does nothing shyly. Man? Cat? Whatever." Crystal says.

"Well, I think it's romantic," Niko replies. She whips her head back to Edwin, clapping her hands together. "You should have said you were lonely too, Edwin! Then it would have been the perfect moment to lean in for a kiss cause you both could be lonely together!"

Edwin clears his throat. "Well. I did, perhaps, say something along those lines, but I assure you there was no kissing nor being 'lonely together'."

"Yo Gad-man? Everything alright there? You look like you've seen a ghost," Charles says with a smirk. Hob realizes, in that moment, he's stopped stacking chairs half-way. His mind, lost both in the kid's conversation but also playing his meeting from 1889 on loop.

It's not often, he imagines, that one calls a supernatural being lonely, with the intent of telling them you're lonely as well, but clearly it went much better for Edwin than it had Hob. He's trying not to feel jealous over it. It's an irrational emotion. And it was clearly a different situation to him and Dream.

But still.

He shakes his head and stacks the chair back on the table, where it should have been minutes ago. "Fine, fine! Just running low on steam. Long week."

The kids shrug and return to their conversation, drifting away from the Cat King and onto their latest mystery. Hob retreats to the back and sighs. He never did get to explain himself properly to Dream, who also happens to be a king. What is with this weird amount of similarities? Maybe that's just guaranteed to happen if you live so long. Regardless, they never did talk much of that meeting. Or much of before, honestly. Hob wonders if Dream even knew what he had been trying to say back then. It certainly wasn't to accuse him of being lonely or to somehow gloat that Hob wasn't. Because he was. He was lonely, too.

Now, unlike Edwin's story, he'd have loved if his conversation had ended with that kiss like Niko said. Course that would never happen but he would have taken a smile. Or parting amicably. Literally anything else than storming out into the rain.

Hob rests his head against the cool metal of the fridge and sighs. Maybe one day he can try and redo that day with Dream, though he'll probably make the man swear he won't storm out again first.

[bkglovergirl]

Hi there! So I was wondering if you could make a fic about bakugou x reader, where she and bakugou were childhood friends similar to him and deku, but the reader has been obvious about her crush on him, always complimenting him, telling him she likes him, even going to UA with him.

He would always straight up rejects her but lowkey likes her, (moving forward to kats arc where hes being a better person lol) the reader still makes him bentos from time to time, always follows him but it doesn't seem to 'irritate' him as much (hes just so happy with her always taking his side), patching him up ect. you get the picture

that is until a girl from class B started taking a liking to bakugou as well and theres a senario where reader gets the wrong idea and think that they're dating class B bitch who always tries to get on her nerves, but in reality bakugou straight up rejects her

reader changing bla bla bla, bakugou being like "WHYD YOU STOP BABYING ME STUPID ASS??!"

readers like "wtf?" bakugous like, "if you we have a problem talk to me, im your bf after all"

sorry if its long. i had a wonderful dream id like to relive ❤️

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Bakugou X Reader

Childhood friends to lovers

I love the miscommunication trope, the ending is a little bit different.

Word Count: 2.3k

ೃ⁀➷

Ever since you could remember and much to Bakugou’s dismay you, Deku, and him have been childhood best friends. One thing is very well known between the trio. You have the biggest crush on Katsuki Bakugou. You make sure it’s known. The first time you realized you liked him, you told him almost right away. You both were around the age of seven and were at a playground fooling around. Neither of you guys had gotten your quirks and you “trained” at this particular playground every day whenever you could. You were running chasing the “villain” Deku around and around. Both your faces had dirt covered and you knew with how your clothes looked your mom was gonna be upset at you but who cares? You didn't.

“I’m gonna get you!”

“Nuh-uh!” Deku runs behind the slide and you follow after. 

“Boo! Huh?” He had disappeared, quickly you looked around and saw him running up onto the base of the playhouse and into one of the small tunnels that connect the two. You run after. Not paying attention you miss one of the steps on the stairs and fall. Bakugou close behind went to go catch you and it was right then and there his quirk manifested and burned your arm as he grabbed you. “Ow! Ow!” You whined looking up at Bakugou. 

“Are you okay?!” Deku comes running back down towards you both and you are slightly dazed so Bakugou asks again, “Are you okay!”

“Your quirk! Bakugou your quirk!!” 

“I KNOW STUPID BUT ARE YOU OKAY?” You and Deku both give each other a look before looking at Bakugou. 

“Yes, I’m okay!” you lied. “Bakugou, your quirk!” He smiled, and it was almost like you watched his ego form right then and there. 

‘Hell yeah, I got my quirk before you two!' He turns and puts his arm out away from you guys and gives a small blast. “Look how cool it is!” After some of the excitement dies down, you manage to beg Bakugou to give you a piggyback as he walks you home after you both drop off Deku. “I don’t see the point in this.” He adjusts you on his back a bit to make it more comfortable for himself.

“Think of this as payback.” You giggle as you hear him groan. “Hey Bakugou?”

“What.”

“I like you.”

ೃ⁀➷

Years later you guys got into UA together and lucky for you and Izuku, in the same classroom as well. Confessing to Katsuki happens at least every other week, and him rejecting you happens every time. You both have gotten into a schedule. You’d walk to school and on certain days bring him a Bento box. You’d go to class and try and do everything with him if Mr Aizawa allows it. At the end of the day, Katsuki always walks you to your dorm before walking to his. 

You knock on Katsuki's door and hear some grumbling before he answers the door, “Why can’t I get you at your dorm? Why do you always come to mine?” You shrug and hand him the Bento box you made him. “You gotta stop making these.”

“You say that, but you love it!” he rolls his eyes and takes it out of your hands. You both start walking to class together. “So I was thinking you and I could pair up because I heard Izuku and Todoroki are gonna pair up.” 

“Why do you always wanna pair up together.” “To save you from the embarrassment of not getting picked.”

“I would get picked!”

“Absolutely not.” You go to open the door to the classroom but Katsuki quickly opens it for you, you smile and walk in. 

You follow him to lunch and sit next to him. He grumbles his small complaint but quickly eats the food he complained about. He never says thank you or compliments the food, but you know he appreciates it by how empty he leaves the bento once he’s done. “It’s cold.”

“Stop complaining, maybe you should have brought your jacket.”

“Alright asshole my fault I forgot it!” The bickering goes back a forth a bit before you stand up, “Walk without me I need to talk to Denki about something.”

“Whatever.”

ೃ⁀➷

You switch the song on your phone before putting it in your skirt pocket and walk to class. You smile seeing Katsuki ahead of you and run to catch up but stop quickly. Katsuki is handing a girl his jacket and she’s smiling at him. Your heart sinks and you feel nauseous as you watch him open the door for the girl. You look at his face. ‘Is he blushing?!’ you bite the inside of your cheek and walk into the classroom. You hear Katsuki call after you but you ignore him. The small banter between you two is non-existent and the whole class quickly takes notice because you are uncomfortably quiet. The notes Katsuki passes to you go unread and you push them off your desk. Katsuki is panicking in his head, he is going through every single thing he’s done today and he can’t think of anything he has done wrong. You were fine at lunch and if anything happened you wouldn't ignore him, if anything you'd whine and complain to him about it. To Katsuki’s surprise, he’s really annoyed you aren't complaining to him. The bell rings and you quickly stuff your bag with all your things and speed walk to the door. “Hi is Katsu there?!” of course, you would run into her and Katsu?! Who the fuck does she think she is? Everyone is staring at the two of you, you step to the side to let the girl in and she runs up to Katsuki. “Katsu!” Your classmate's eyes follow the girl and look at you thinking the same exact thing you are. You shrug and walk out.

ೃ⁀➷

The next morning you walk to the classroom by yourself. Denki and Izuku come to check on you but you wave them off saying you are okay. Before they both walk away you quickly ask Denki to be partners in training. He gives a look to Izuku before agreeing. Katsuki walks in minutes later, late. He tries to talk to you but Aizawa tells him to get into his seat and he obeys. 

Training starts a couple of hours later, and just like you guessed, no one wants to partner with Katsuki. He watched as you walked over to Denki when Aizawa announced that you all should grab partners. He’s crushed but shakes it off. His pride stops him from walking up to you. Kirishima takes one for the team and partners up with Katsuki. The training goes well, and surprisingly, you and Denki are a great team.

“I think we should be a team more often, Y/N!” You smile, agreeing with him. The next set of teams that are put against each other are You and Denki vs. Kirishima and Katsuki. During the whole fucking battle you manage to avoid Katsuki, you don’t know how you manage to pull that off and neither does he because he tried so hard to come after you specifically. By the end of the battle you and Denki come out victorious and Katsuki is pissed. Katsuki rips off his gauntlet looking at you and Denki walking off together and talking.

“Denki I-”

“Kaminari.” he corrects.

“Kaminari.” You smile. “I just don’t get it. Who the fuck is that girl?! Where did she come from? I’m with Katsuki so much how did I not notice there was another girl.”

“Doesn't he reject you all the time?”

“A part of me doesn't like it’s a rejection. He likes the things I do for him, but his rejection seems like a wait, not a no.” you put your hands up to your face, “I’ve liked him since we were little. The memory of me first liking him is imprinted into my body! How do you just get over that? How do you get over Katsuki Bakugou.” Kaminari puts his hand out to stop you from walking into a wall. You look at him and his face is looking at you with confusion.

“What do you mean by imprinted?” You roll up your sleeve and show him the big scar that was left on your body. 

“This happened when his quirk first manifested. It was by accident and instead of celebrating his quirk he made sure I was okay first.”

“That doesn't sound like Bakugou.”

“I KNOW!” You rest your back against the wall, and Kaminari leans against it facing you. You don’t know how long you talked, but at some point, the talking turned into scheming. Katsuki comes walking up and the girl is right next to him talking away and honestly, he’s annoyed. It takes everything in him not to scream in her face. He sees you first. Then he sees Kaminari leaning against the wall next to you. At the same time, you see him first. Then the girl walking next to him. He takes note that he’s changed and cleaned up after training, you guys aren't even changed out of your hero outfits and are still all messy. The training ended an hour ago. He stops walking which the girl next to him takes as a green light to wrap her arms around his arm. Kaminari notices and quickly stands in front of you to block your line of view.

“Don’t look it’s only gonna hurt more.”

“Come to my dorm.”

“What?”

“Come to my dorm right now.” You grab his arm and drag him away aggressively. Kaminari has to stop himself from complaining your grip hurts.

ೃ⁀➷

Katsuki got up early enough to get to your dorm room. He knows this is the time you leave, he knows your exact schedule to the T. He knows your whole life and who you're close with so he’s honestly so fucking confused why you walk out of your dorm room and run up to Denki fucking Kaminari. On top of that, you hand him a bento box. His fucking Bento box. He’s stunned and stands there like a dumb ass watching as you walk away with him.

Class is giving him a headache. He just feels the need to take as many pain pills as he can. You and Denki have been joking around non-stop and it doesn't help that you sit in front of Katsuki and Denki sits in front of you. The class feels like forever. There is no training today so it is just class and he doesn't know how long he can just sit here and watch as you painfully ignore him. He concludes he’ll talk to you before lunch but that plan is quickly foiled as the girl from class 1B comes barging into the classroom like she owns the place and attaches herself to him. Katsuki watches as you stare a second before Kaminari puts an arm around your shoulder and walks you out of the room as quickly as he can. He makes a new plan that he’ll talk to you at lunch but that plan is also quickly ruined as the girl blocks him at his table so he can’t get up and go to you. So as your plan goes perfectly, he gets a perfect view of you and Kaminari sitting and having lunch together. He then makes plan number three, he’ll follow you around until he gets the perfect moment to yell at you. It’s perfect. He follows you to class with the annoying girl talking away. He sits in pain the whole rest of class as he watches you and Kaminari fool around the whole time.

ೃ⁀➷

“Why are you following me around.” You turn to look at him. You landed at your childhood park once you realized Katsuki was following you around. It’s cold and you hug yourself.

“So she speaks.”

“Don’t be an ass Bakugou. Why are you following me?” Katsuki’s stomach sinks. At least he knows how you feel now.

“Bakugou?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“What’s wrong with me?”

‘Don’t act fucking stupid.” He takes off his jacket and gets closer to you, You take a step back. “See what I mean?! I’m trying to give you my jacket and you step away from me! What the fuck Y/N!”

“Sorry, I don’t want what another girl got.”

“What are you- oh…”

“Yeah oh! Kaminari told me I wasn't being stupid but maybe I am! Maybe I should have stopped liking you when you rejected me the first time! BUT NO!” you get closer grabbing his shirt, “You make it so fucking difficult to not be in love with you!” He stares at you and leans down, as much as you don’t want to, you push him away. “No this had gotta stop. I’m not gonna let you keep toying with me and I gotta stop being so delusional.”

“You aren't being delusional.”

“Really because that girl has gotten more attention than I have gotten from you in years. Every time I confess since we were kids you act like I didn't say anything!”

“I just wasn't ready for things to change.” you scoff at him.

“It was always going to change! Did you like dragging me along? Where did that other girl come from?” you sit down on one of the swings and kick some wood chips. Putting your hands on the chain.

“I just wanted to make sure I liked you and I wasn't just… I don't fucking know! You're the only girl who has been in my life that wasn't my mom!” you glare at him.

“Wow.”

“Listen Y/N, I know it was stupid but I just needed to know before our relationship changed and I fucked everything up.” “So what was this conclusion from your stupid fucking experiment?” Katsuki takes this as a green light to come closer to you. You don’t say anything.

“That no girl compares.”

“Wow, Romeo it took you that long?” Katsuki stands in front of you and puts his hand on top of yours. You look up at him.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I’m not confessing again.”

“I know.” He leans down and kisses you. 

[angel-minhee]

SWEET ETERNITY

ミ★ ### “ i love you more than i’ve ever loved myself ” what happens when Riki finds out about Minhee’s relationship with Sunghoon?

PAIRING(S) riki x fem!addedmember!oc + sunghoon x fem!addedmember!oc WARNING(S) crying. fainting. angst. fluff. mentions of non-sexual nudity. angst with comfort. based off this song : are you the one WC 3k [back to library]

RIKI NEVER KNEW WHAT HEARTBREAK FELT LIKE. 

Since he was young, Riki had heard stories about how individuals were supposed to feel after their first breakup.

The ways their personalities would rupture into a unique parallel timeline controlled by their collapsing dreams. 

He’d seen it in the dramas his sisters forced him to watch during their late nights up, remembering the way he’d just roll his eyes and scoff under his breath as he observed how pathetic everyone acted.

He’d tell them that it wasn’t realistic, he’d repeat on a broken record about how little someone’s perspective on him would never change the way he held himself.

He didn’t care if someone hated him, not when they’d be the ones to call it off. 

But what was before Minhee broke his heart. 

He’d spent countless nights twisting and turning in his bed, the strong hands of doubt wrapping around his ankles as it tried to submerge his body into its unescaping pool. 

His eyes could flicker at the smallest sound, hands twitching as he tried pulling himself out of the headspace that was quickly consuming him. 

He’d wake up in a cold sweat, forehead damp as his quickened breath got caught up in his lungs, chest burning as his nails attempted to grasp back onto his sense of reality. 

Now that you’re gone, he had nowhere to run. He couldn’t hide away this time, he had to face himself all alone.

“This isn’t fair,” Riki spoke out loud, his head tilted back as the hot water cascaded down his chest. His arms were bright red, hands still scrubbing away at his sensitive skin.

For once, he allowed himself to be selfish. 

His tears mixed with the blistering water, eyes red as the quiet sobs left his parted lips. His feet grew weak under his sudden weight, his soul slamming into his body.

Since the day Riki had heard the news he hasn’t felt real.

His hands didn’t belong to him, his voice unrecognizable as he screamed at Minhee. That wasn’t him, there’s no way it could’ve been.

Riki had never once raised his voice at her, not even when she had accidentally ruined one of his favourite shirts after it got mixed up with her dark clothes.

But like before, that was before Minhee broke his heart. 

That was before he found out that Minhee had been seeing Sunghoon behind everyone’s back. Before he caught her giggling in the doorway of his older member's bedroom, her body clad in his bigger shirt.

It wasn’t fair, life had never been fair to him. 

He could deal with everything else, everything but the absence of her. 

The hate comments he could shrug off, the mobbing he could ignore, but Minhee? Never. She could ruin him forever with the slightest cold shoulder.

His fabricated world collapsed around him, the pieces falling apart as the walls tumbled into each other. The childish giggles were soon replaced with the noise of nothing. 

Literally, the noise of nothing. Everything was silent.

Riki became aware of his surroundings, the steamy air of the bathroom making it harder for him to breathe as his eyes grew heavy. 

The soap in his hair dripped down into his eyes, the burn unnoticed due to the condition they were in before. They’d been burning since he’d woken up, his tears unending. 

Liquid poison rose up his chest, throat burning as he rushed out of the shower. His feet caught against the rug, his body landing against the pool ground as he struggled to breathe.

Riki felt like he was going to die. 

But he wasn’t, he couldn’t do that to her. Riki knew that Minhee was the only other one home, the others had gone to film their remaining parts for their upcoming album. 

He would never let Minhee find him so…. lifeless. He couldn’t do that to her. 

And so he forced himself up, head pounding as quiet groans left his lips. He had no idea what he was saying, his chest racing as it tried to keep him awake.

The shower was still on, the soft littering only making him more overwhelmed. He blindly reached for his clothes, hands barely grabbing his underwear before his blackout began.

The black dots growing along his outer vision was concerning, his fear rapidly growing. 

He wanted nothing more than to be in her arms, her comforting presence wrapping around him as she whispered sweet nothings into his ears. 

He’d imagine his head resting against Minhee’s chest, his body subconsciously following her heart rate as she calmed him down. 

But now, with nothing but his underwear on, he collapsed with the world around him.

He had already lost all consciousness when the door came slamming open, the door handles shooting against the ground as Minhee forced her way in.

Minhee wasn’t fully aware of what Riki was going through.

Weeks ago she swore she knew everything about him, that she’d be able to read his mind by just a single glance.

But like Riki, that was before. She didn’t know he had seen her leaving Sunghoon’s room. She didn’t know he had pieced all the pieces together that night.

The only thing she noticed was his silence, and Riki was never silent. 

She didn’t know what was going on with her youngest member, but she knew that she’d do anything to help him.

Minhee had woken up three hours early, her hair tied up in a tight ponytail as she worked away in her room.

She’d always loved making her own personal songs, ones that she wanted to keep to herself for as long as possible. She’d never shown anyone her laptop, no one but Riki.

He’d been the only one to learn about her hobby, the only one to hear her own produced music.

They’d lay side by side, heads pressed against each other as they both stared at the ceiling of Minhee’s room. There wasn’t anything that was specifically interesting about her ceiling, nothing but the two small initials carved in the corner.

Their eyes would trace the two letters, hidden smiles on their lips as their fingers gently bumped into each other.

They’d share secret smiles as Minhee’s voice hummed them to sleep, the shared earphones stuck in their ears as they fell into a world surrounded by no one but themselves. 

At Riki’s sudden silence, Minhee felt stuck. She didn’t want to outrightly ask the younger boy about what happened, too scared of accidentally hurting him in the way she’d pose the question.

And so she did what she did best, sing a song for him. 

Minhee had never written a song for a specific person, usually opting to let her hand move on its own as the thoughts of her members played out in a black-and-white movie.

Minhee tried to ignore the obvious for so long, telling herself that it was normal to write such… intimate things about her closest friends.

She just hadn’t noticed when the song's lyrics blurred into love confessions, her heart in her sleeve as the puppeteer controlled her pen. 

She was in love. Min Yeonhee was in love with all of them. 

She’d spent many nights crying in her room, fist in her mouth as she tried to keep herself quiet.

 It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to anyone. 

It just happened that Sunghoon caught her one night, his arms wrapped around her as he offered her his shoulder to cry on.

He was the first one to find out about her feelings, he knew she was in love with them all. 

In a way he wasn’t surprised, he had seen the way she treated them all. But he wasn’t sure what he felt about everything, he didn’t know if he would be able to share something so vulnerable with everyone else. 

But selfishly, he knew he needed Minhee. He confessed his love to her through a passionate night, his words whispering in her ears as he held her tight. 

She’d accepted him because she was dumb, dumb but in love. Minhee hadn’t thought about the others' reactions, she didn’t want to think about it.

She thought that maybe her feelings for the others would fade as she sunk into the embrace of her new boyfriend. But she didn’t. 

Minhee felt the tears well in her eyes as the finished song played in her ears, her emotions overspilling as she thought about the younger boy's reaction.

Minhee had always had a soft spot for the youngest boy, he was probably her favourite person. 

Minhee didn’t want to write a full love song, she couldn’t do that Sunghoon. She didn’t know how Riki felt about her, and she wasn’t going to sacrifice anything.

In a way, this song was Minhee’s way of letting him go as well. She didn’t know it at the time, but she was looking for closure. 

She wanted to help Riki, but she wanted to help herself as well. Granted this song definitely felt like a love confession… or something along those blurry lines.

Minhee stood up with her computer tucked between her arms, a smile on her face as she skipped toward Riki’s room. She knocked once, feet paused at the opened door as she stuck her head in.

Minhee tilted her head in confusion before she noticed the shower was on, a relieved smile on her lips as she changed her course. 

“Riki, are you almost done? I have something I want to show you!” Minhee pressed her ear against the door, her heels off the ground as she bounced on her tippy toes.

At the lack of response, Minhee tried questioning him a little louder, her heart racing at the radio silence from the other side of the door.

“Riki, I’m not kidding. If you don’t answer right now I’ll literally break the door.” Minhee was only half joking, the voice still a shit lighthearted as she tried reassuring herself that he was fine. 

Minhee’s heart dropped when she heard gasping, and a loud bang coming from behind the door. “Riki?” She used her hand to bang against the door, her ear still pressed against it. 

Minhee swore at his silence, her hands shaking as she placed her computer on the ground beside the door.

Minhee knew there were two ways to get a locked door open, one option looking better than the other.

The first way was by ramming her body into it, the thought of the door hitting her skin causing her to physically cringe. She was definitely not about to do that.

The other option was to kick the door handle off, which in hindsight was probably just as hard. She knew how to do it, the movies she’d watched giving her a step-by-step tutorial. Granted it definitely would’ve been different in a real-life situation, but she had no option.

Minhee stood with her knees slightly bent, hands straightening in front of her chest as she prepared to kick the door. “Shit, If this doesn’t work…” Minhee trailed off, eyebrows furrowing as she tried thinking of other ways to get in.

But before she could think more, she acted. She jumped in shock as the handle fell to the ground, the door opening at the force. 

She had no time to think about what she had just done before she saw the half-naked boy lying lifeless on the ground.

Minhee gasped as she ran towards him, her hands pushing his hair away from her face as she turned him to his back. She raised his head to her knee, allowing the blood to rush back down from his head. 

She didn’t know what happened, but by the warmth of Riki’s skin, she knew it wasn’t good. 

Minhee placed his head back down, rushing over to turn off the shower. She barely looked away from the boy as she leaned down to push the water drain in, the water pooling along the bottom of the bath. 

She turned the bath back on, room temperature water filling the bath. She held her hand under the flowing water, making sure the temperature wasn’t hot enough to overheat him. 

She turned the water off, twisting the nod closed as she pulled the curtains open. She bent down beside Riki, using her arm to wrap his own around her shoulder.

Minhee definitely wasn’t the strongest member, but she was nowhere near weak. She’d been forced to accompany the boys to the gym enough for her to be able to lift any of the members with slight ease. 

Well, that’s what she thought until she could barely move the boy from the ground. Eventually, Minhee was able to get him into the bath, her hands cupping the water to bring up towards his hair.

She rinsed the soap from his skin, hands periodically checking his pulse to make sure his heart rate was calming down. 

Minhee was panicking, her thoughts clouded as she tried using the water to wake him up. “Please wake up, please.” She quietly begged him through her quiet sobs, lip between her teeth as she tried her best to keep him up. 

“Holy shit.” Minhee hadn’t noticed Sunghoon getting home, only realizing it the second he came running towards her, his arms wrapping around Riki’s shoulders as he pulled him from the water. 

“I don’t know what happened.” Minhee was babbling at this point, her hands against her cheeks as she curled into herself.

“He’ll be okay, let me get him dressed.” Sunghoon shot a reassuring smile towards his girlfriend, his heart beating fast as his worry grew. “Go get changed, baby.” 

Sunghoon wrapped Riki’s arm around his shoulder, his feet dragging on the ground as Sunghoon brought him towards his room.

Minhee stayed rooted in spot, clothes wet as the tears rushed down. The guilt came from nowhere, thoughts invading her mind as she blamed herself for the younger boy's state.

Of course, she knew it wasn’t her fault. She could’ve never known that he’d faint in the shower, but it didn’t help ease her mind at all. 

Minhee was once again left alone with the youngest boy, Sunghoon rushing out to the nearest drugstore to buy Riki some medicine. 

While clothing the youngest boy, Sunghoon noticed Riki’s high temperature. He recognized the signs of a fever, his anger spiking as he glared down at the youngest boy.

Riki had been acting differently around him, but keeping his fever a secret? Sunghoon was more than angry, he felt betrayed. 

Riki always came to him while he was sick, his need for comfort enhanced. He also knew Riki didn’t go to Minhee, and he had a leading suspicion about the reason why. 

“He loves you a lot, I can’t live with myself knowing I’m holding you both back from each other.” Sunghoon knew Minhee was watching from the doorway, her presence lighting up the room.

“I’m fine with you dating him as well, I thought about it a lot.” Sunghoon leaned back against Minhee, her arms wrapping around his waist from his back.

“I want nothing more than for you to be happy, even if you date another six people.” Sunghoon jokingly shook his head as he sighed, hands wrapping around hers as he squeezed her against him.

“I’m going out to get him medicine, please stay with him?” Sunghoon knew you’d be staying, either way, the computer in your hands giving your plans away.

“Don’t worry about him, I'll be here.” 

Minhee’s closure came in a different way that night, she accepted herself for the way she was. She couldn’t choose who to love, but if she could then she’d choose these boys in every lifetime. 

She crawled into bed beside Riki, head turned towards him as she brushed his hair from his face. “You’ll be okay, noona is here with you.” Her lips softly pressed against his cheek, his eyes closed as she rested her forehead against him.

“I know” She didn’t flinch when she felt his hand press against her cheek. “Please don’t scare me again.” 

“I won’t.”

“Do you promise?”

“I’d do anything for you, Minhee.”

She pulled her face away from him, his tender gaze locked onto hers as he returned the favour, brushing her hair back. 

“I want you to listen to something, can you?” Riki nodded once at her, his eyes never leaving her face as she pulled open her computer. 

He stayed still as she pushed her earphones into his ears, his head resting against the pillow as her melody played in his ears.

“Is this hesitance or is this feeling heaven-sent? Minhee, what does that mean?” Riki repeated the song, his eyes wide as he searched her face for answers. 

She didn’t respond and just allowed the song to continue playing, “Maybe we could be sweet eternity.” Minhee sang along to the words, her eyes searching his as the guitar set in her ears. 

“Riki, I’m in love with you.” Minhee sat with her breath in her throat, hands twiddling with each other as Riki’s jaw dropped.

“I have been for a while, I love you so much.” Riki tried sitting up, his head tilting back in pain as his head grew heavy. 

“No, don’t move!” Minhee rose to her knees, leaning over him as she pressed his shoulders down against the pillows. 

“But what about Sunghoon?” Minhee closed her eyes with a sigh, the realization setting in her mind.

“He’s fine with it, he knows how I feel about you.”

Riki’s smile had always been Minhee’s favourite thing, her love spreading throughout her body as she watched the way his face lit up.

“You don’t know how long I've loved you, Minhee.” 

Maybe at this moment, she didn’t know, but within the next few days, she’d quickly know everything there was to know. 

“And you don’t know how long I’ve loved you back, Riki.”

Min Yeonhee was Riki’s first and last heartbreak, but she was also his first and last love. 

[endcrman]

Allostasis

(Chapter 3)

As a general rule of thumb, Grian doesn’t do public servers for a multitude of reasons. This one hadn’t even made it onto the list.

TW for implied sexual assault, PTSD symptoms, and Self-Neglect

(This is a comfort chapter in the hurt/comfort fic)

Read the whole fic here. (Here for Ao3/mobile.)

-

Panic enveloped him first, before anything else.

He was surrounded by water, he realized, unable to stop himself from gasping, liquid rushing to fill his lungs. His eyes shot open, stinging from whatever else was in the water with him, everything blurry. His wings were heavy, pulling him deeper, deeper even as he flailed, trying to pull himself above the surface.

He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, fast, jackhammering away as his desperate lungs tried to pull in another breath- only more water. He felt dizzy, flailing hopelessly, arms feeling heavier and heavier, until they met something solid.

The surface was covered, he was trapped.

His vision started going dark as panic enveloped his entire being.

There was muffled shouting as he faded away again.

Grian gasped, sitting up suddenly as he woke. He found his own hand at his throat as he coughed, almost as if the imaginary liquid could leave his lungs still, the memory of his dream sending him reeling.

He hadn't noticed the hushed voices from just outside his door until they stopped, pausing at the commotion he was making. Two pairs of eyes peeked around the doorframe, both landing on him easily, not like he'd moved at all, and Grian couldn't stop himself from shrinking at the attention.

“Grian!” Scar was too loud, too excited, too eager as he rushed inside, towards the bed. “Joel told me a little about what was happening, you should have told me!”

He felt his face crinkle at the thought, looking away from the other at the much more interesting wall. Had that crack in that plank always been there?

There was a beat before Scar spoke again, voice quieting down a bit to a much more tolerable level. “Sorry, guess that's probably why you didn't tell me. I can go if you want? I don't know- Joel said I should come over, he told me you said it was okay but we both know how he can be-”

“Hey!” Joel cut off his rambling, sounding offended. “He did say it was okay. Give him a blummin’ moment Scar, you're going to get yourself kicked out.”

“Sorry,” Grian managed, throat feeling even more sore from hacking his lungs out a moment ago, “still- still tired.”

“That's fine,” Scar quickly assured him, reaching out to touch Grian's shoulder despite Joel's hissed warning. “No need for sorries, take your time.”

Despite Joel's concerns, Grian relaxed under the small touch. He hadn't realized just how much he missed this, even the little touches, not until Joel had been standing behind him carefully detangling his hair.

“Helped convince him to take a shower and eat,” Joel spoke softly, clearly not to Grian himself. “His voice is a bit rough though, like you heard,” and Joel's attention turned toward him again. “Did you want more tea, Grian?”

He thought about it for a moment, but the soreness in his throat had yet to let up. “Less honey this time?” He asked, finally looking back over at his two friends.

“You got it boss.” And Joel was off, busying himself over the stove.

“Honey's supposed to be good for your throat,” Scar interjected, making a wheezy laugh escape Grian.

“Yeah, that's why he put too much in last night,” he hummed, before thinking a bit more on it. “Earlier? I- I don't know how long it's been.”

“Probably just earlier,” Scar's voice was soft, at least for now, before he got too excited to remember it again. “He said he came over this morning.”

“Mm.” He couldn't think of any other way to respond, simply acknowledging the fact. This morning. Judging by the light outside his windows, he'd been out for most of the day then, the sun would be setting soon. “Are you staying the night?” He asked, as soon as the thought came to mind.

“Oh- uh, I think that was the plan? As long as you're alright with that,” Scar seemed unsure, fidgeting in place. “You can kick me out whenever, but Joel said you probably shouldn't be alone right now.”

Grian felt his lip curl, even though Joel was probably right. “I'm not going to kick you out, Scar.” He glanced over at the other, noting how he twisted his hands together, a ball of energy. “Did Joel pull you away from a build?”

“What? No!” Scar lied, laughing as he deliberately placed his hands on the armrests of his chair. “Don't worry about it, G, I'd rather be here anyway.”

“Don't be like that,” Grian scoffed, rolling his eyes. “What did Joel even tell you anyways? How much of my business did he spill?” He wasn't actually upset at Joel, not really, but he felt bitter.

“Not a lot!” Scar's hands were raised again, as if trying to calm a panicked animal. “Just… that you've been here a while now, and you've been having an episode, but you won't say why. Not that you have to! Just- that's what he told me.”

“An episode,” Grian repeated bitterly, mumbled under his breath.

“Like- Like a PTSD episode,” Scar clarified, wringing his hands again.

Grian grimaced at the bluntness, looking away from Scar again. He almost wished for his comm, but he knew it was a bad idea, who knew what kinds of messages could be waiting on there. “Who said I have PTSD?” He bluffed, knowing there were at least a couple of Hermits who would confirm as much, it wasn't his best kept secret.

“Grian…” Scar's hand was on his shoulder yet again, and he couldn't stop himself from relaxing under it immediately. “You don't have to tell me anything, okay? Just let me know how I can help. If I can help.”

For a while it was quiet, just the distant sounds of Joel opening and closing different chests. Grian hadn't even realize he started crying until Scar was pulling away.

“Joel?” Grian could hear the concern in his voice, even though he hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't.

Grian whipped around, grabbing Scar's wrist and holding on far too tight, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks. “D-don't leave,” he barely managed. Scar's other hand moved from the wheel of his chair, gently wrapping his fingers around Grian's grip.

“Oh, Grian…” Scar's voice almost matched his in volume, and for once Grian couldn't bring himself to care how full of pity it was. Maybe just this once he needed a little pity. “I'm sorry, I thought… I thought I upset you. I was just going to get Joel.”

“Please don't leave me.” It was pathetic, he felt pathetic, he was pathetic; but the last time Scar left him alone… He hiccuped, free hand rubbing furiously at his face. “Please, Scar-”

“I'm not going anywhere, Grian.” He barely managed to slip his hand out of Grian's grip, only to lace their fingers together, other hand sandwiching Grian's between them. “You're okay, I'm here.”

There were footsteps approaching, and then silence for a moment. Grian looked up just in time to see the look Joel and Scar were sharing, before their joint attention was on him again.

“I'm going to put this here,” Joel said once he realized Grian was watching him, setting the mug of tea on the bedside table. “For when you're thirsty again.”

Grian sniffled, nodding a little. “Th-thanks. Sorry,” he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand, squeezing Scar's with the other.

“It's fine,” Joel assured him, reaching out to brush Grian's hair out of his face again. “... Do you want me to stay? I was going to head out soon now that Scar is here, but I don't have to.”

Grian quickly shook his head, almost immediately undoing the progress Joel had made on his hair again. “Don't- don't stay just because you feel like you have to,” he insisted, even though that was exactly what Scar was doing. “You've been here all day.”

“Meh,” Joel shrugged, keeping his hands to himself this time. “I don't mind staying longer, but if you want me to go…” He glanced over to where Grian's comm was resting, just next to the cup of tea. “Don't hesitate to call me, either of you!”

Scar pulled a hand away to salute. “Sir yes sir!” He said earnestly, a smile on his face. Grian couldn't stop the tiny laugh that made its way through his tears, Scar's ridiculousness a balm on the entire situation. 

“Good, good.” And Joel was making his way toward the door, hesitating. “Grian,” he had paused in the doorway, biting his lower lip. “We're here for you, alright? Ping me and I'll be over in an instant.”

Grian's chest hurt, and it took everything in him not to sob as he nodded a little. His voice was shaking as he managed a single word, “okay.” And then Joel was gone.

It probably wasn't actually that fast, he probably waited by the door for another minute or two, waiting to see if Grian changed his mind. Though once he finally managed to blink away his tears again it was just him and Scar, who was cradling his hand between his own once more.

“You should drink your tea,” Scar's voice was still quiet as he raised the hand not directly intertwined with Grian's fingers, thumb brushing away some of the wetness on his cheek. “Replace some of those liquids you just lost.”

“Not sure that's how it works,” he mumbled, head tilting into the touch.

“Wouldn't hurt either though.” Scar’s hand started to pull away, only for Grian to hold on to it even tighter. “I’m not going anywhere, G-man, just think you should use two hands to hold the mug, you’re a bit shaky.”

Grian wet his lips, squeezing Scar’s hand again. “... Promise?”

Scar squeezed right back. “Cross my heart.”

Reluctantly, Grian dropped Scar’s hand. He forced himself to keep calm even as the other pulled away a bit, picking up the mug to hand to him, which he took in trembling hands himself. Scar was right, of course, he was in no state to use just one.

“Thank you,” he murmured, before taking a sip of the tea, thanking the void it wasn’t as sweet as the last time he’d had it, he wasn’t sure he could stomach it again. He watched over the mug as Scar rolled minutely closer to the bed before activating the brakes, fiddling with his hands in his lap before looking up again, catching the other's gaze before Grian's eyes quickly darted away.

“Aren't you going to ask?” His words were muffled, spoken into the mug and swallowed by it.

“Ask what?” He could see Scar lean forward a bit in the corner of his eye.

He took another sip of tea, delaying the inevitable. “What happened.”

Scar was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking about what to say next, which wasn't always something he did. Grian almost snickered at the thought, but Scar was speaking finally.

“No, I don't think so,” he looked thoughtful, resting his chin on his fist. “You'll tell me if you want to, Joel said you might, but I'm not gonna push it.” It was quiet again, and after a moment Scar looked up, meeting Grian's eyes once more. “Unless you want me to ask, would that make it easier?”

Grian winced at being seen through so easily, looking down into the mug just to avoid contact. “... It might, yeah.”

“Hm, alright.” He didn't sound judgemental, he never did, but Grian couldn't help but feel nervous. “... It has to do with whatever happened at that convention, doesn't it? When we got split up?”

Grian almost felt like he was there again, surrounded by people on all sides, pushing in on him, no care for his personal space— “Yes,” he choked out, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “It was- it- yes.” He felt Scar's hand rest on his forearm, though he didn't look away from the small bit of tea left in the mug.

“I'm sorry, Grian,” he mumbled, continuing before Grian could tell him it wasn't his fault. “What… What happened? Who did this to you?”

He could feel tears welling up in his eyes again, and he couldn't tell if it was from remembering, or the care that Scar was putting into the situation. “My ex, he- he was on the server. I hadn't spoken with him since high school,” the words sounded legible to him at least, but he'd be a fool to assume that was entirely the truth, voice beginning to shake again as tears rolled down his cheeks for what felt like the millionth time that day.

“He hit you?” Scar gasped, hand gripping a little tighter at Grian's arm.

“I was- I wasn't letting him-” Grian hiccuped, hands going white-knuckled around the mug. “He wanted to touch my wings,” he sobbed, almost spilling what little was left of the tea with how much he was shaking.

“Oh, Grian…” The mug was taken from his hands and set aside, replaced by Scar’s own hand, giving him something softer to squeeze, hopefully not hurting him. “I’m so sorry.”

He was fighting for air through the tears, squeezing Scar’s hand even tighter, pulling it closer towards him as he curled inwards. “He- When we were-” He was broken off by another sob. “Th-they were the only things I had left. I didn’t have them in school. They were mine and now- a-and now-”

“Grian. Grian,” Scar carefully placed his free hand on the other’s shoulder, leaning in close.

“He ruined them!” Grian wailed, unable to stop himself, unable to look Scar in the eyes. “He- he ruined me,” he hiccuped, quieter.

He gasped as he was suddenly pulled into Scar’s arms, almost falling off of the bed. Instead of doing anything else to balance himself, he clung to Scar, sobbing into his shoulder. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry,” he whimpered, feeling the fabric beneath his cheek growing wetter and wetter.

“Shhh…” Scar held him close, and it felt safer than it did restricting, even when he squeezed his arms tighter around him. “Grian, void, Grian, you’re not ruined,” he murmured quietly, face buried in his hair, speaking just above his ear. “You’re not ruined,” he repeated, one of his hands moving up to hold the back of his head, running fingers through his hair. “You can’t… you can’t give him that power over you,” his own voice was shaking slightly, “it’s not your fault.”

Grian couldn’t stop the tears, he couldn’t stop shaking, long ignored sobs escaping his lungs. “I- he made me- I-I feel so disgusting,” he choked out, sure that his nails were digging into Scar’s flesh now, just another thing he couldn’t do right, “I can’t- I can’t look at them, t-touch them- they’re so- and I can’t- I can’t fix them.”

“I’m sorry, Grian, I’m so sorry.” He didn’t even flinch away from Grian’s harsh grip, carefully rocking the two of them back and forth, as much as he could sitting like this. “I wish I could have been there, I wish I could have stopped him. I’m sorry.”

His breath caught on another sob, shaking his head. “You- you did, sort of,” he admitted, his throat beginning to ache again from just how much he was using it now. “When you came looking for me I-” He sniffled, “I stopped it, because- because I heard you. I could.” It wasn’t the full truth, but it was enough.

“Void, I'm so sorry, you're so strong,” Scar mumbled, his hold on the other tightening even more. “Never forget that. You're so, so brave, I'm sorry that you had to be.”

It hurt too much to keep speaking. For now, Grian kept quiet, still sobbing softly into Scar's shoulder. And Scar— the angel— didn't let go, he didn't push him, just held him close, humming softly to him. When he did try to pull away, Grian's grip only tightened again.

“Hey, hang on there,” Scar's voice was still so unusually quiet. “Your back must hurt, at least let me get up on the bed with you.”

It hadn't exactly been at the forefront of his mind, but now that Scar had mentioned it, Grian was far too aware of the sharp soreness in his spine from leaning over too much for too long. He hesitated, because of course he did, before carefully extracting himself from Scar's hold, scooting over to make some extra room on the bed. “I'm tired,” he said softly, newly freed hands rubbing tears away from his eyes, “so hurry up.”

“It'll take as long as it takes,” Scar's tone was just a little lighter. Regardless of what he said, it didn't take too long at all for him to carefully roll into Grian's bed, propped up slightly against the pillow behind him— and immediately Grian was in his arms again, face buried in his chest.

Grian all but melted as Scar started running a hand through his hair. His eyes were still wet, but he wasn't choking on sobs anymore, which he considered an improvement.

“I could help with your wings tomorrow, if you want.” He felt Scar's voice in his chest more than he heard it. “Only if you want me to though, but I think it’d be good to have them cleaned up.”

“I think… I think you’re right,” Grian could only hope Scar actually heard him, the closeness only muffling his soft voice even more. “Maybe… I’d like that.”

“You can decide for sure tomorrow, don’t worry about it right now. Just sleep for now,” Scar murmured, holding onto Grian just a bit tighter.

As exhausted as he was, who was Grian to argue? Slowly drifting off without a word in opposition, finally feeling safe.

-

Grian’s sleep was easy and dreamless that night, a privilege he had not been afforded in the previous week or so, however long he’d been stuck in this rut. When he woke again it was slow, he felt warm, limbs heavy like they were full of lead, but comfortable nonetheless. He could feel a weight over his torso, an arm he realized, holding him close, and finally he cracked open his eyes.

Directly in front of him, blocking the sunlight from hitting his face directly, was Scar, drooling on his pillow.

Grian couldn’t stop the ugly snort that escaped him at the sight, throwing his arms up over his face to block the view, trying to silence the laughter bubbling up inside of him, not wanting to wake the other too early. Though judging by the movement next to him, he failed.

“Mmh, Grian?” Scar’s arm slid off of him, regrettably, but Grian could still feel his body heat, even if he was covering his eyes. “G? You alright?”

He could feel his shoulders shaking, and before he could stop it he burst out laughing, tired giggles escaping his throat as he squeezed his arms tighter, as if that could stop it. He heard a sigh from beside him, before Scar was chuckling softly too.

“What’s got you so worked up?” Scar’s voice was still full of sleep, but he sounded less worried than a moment or two ago, which Grian hadn’t even noticed until just now.

The laughter eventually quieted down and he could bring himself to uncover his face, unable to stop the huge grin from growing, still somewhat hiding behind his hands as he peeked through his fingers at the other. Scar was awake now, clearly, a tired smile on his own face, hair sticking up in every direction possible, at least he wasn’t drooling anymore.

“Heya goof, back with me?” Scar teased, his forever charming smile already contrasting the image Grian had just woken up to, the thought of which made him snicker a little again.fa

“Yeah,” was what he said when he finally managed to make words again, still grinning a bit. “Just glad you stayed, I guess.”

“Uh huh,” Scar didn’t sound convinced, but his amused look didn’t disappear even as he sat up, yawning. “Where would I have gone?” He reached out, hesitating for a moment, but then his hand was brushing through Grian’s hair.

Grian settled into the touch like a particularly pleased cat, eyes fluttering shut as he let out a soft hum. “Dunno, just glad I’m not alone anymore,” he mumbled, not really processing the words before they left him. He’d be embarrassed if he thought about it for too long, so instead he opened his eyes again, looking up at Scar. “Help me with my wings?” He pivoted, knowing he’d be unlikely to work up the courage again.

Scar’s brows furrowed a bit at that, hand stopping for a moment— though it continued again before Grian could complain. “You still want me to? Not just ‘cause you should or whatever?”

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded a little, careful not to jostle Scar’s hand. “Yeah. Yeah I mean, I should for sure but… I don’t know if I can myself,” Grian bit the inside of his cheek, looking away from Scar’s eyes now. “And… I don’t trust just anyone to do it for me, you know. And you have experience.”

“Aww, Grian,” Scar cooed, looking touched when Grian finally met his eyes again. “It’s been a while, you’ll have to tell me if I’m too rough.”

“I don’t think you can be,” Grian said mostly to himself, finally sitting up as well. “... Do you… do you want to do it right now? Before I freak out too much and change my mind?” He pitched his tone up, trying to make it sound more joke than truth, though he knew Scar could see right through him.

“Oh, of course, yeah, come here,” Scar hummed, thankfully not commenting on Grian's nervousness barely bubbling under the surface.

Carefully they maneuvered so Grian was almost sitting in Scar's lap, facing away from him of course. It was another couple of minutes before he took a deep breath, slowly spreading his wings. He heard a sharp inhale from behind him, making his hair stand on end.

“Jeez, Gri,” Scar murmured. He could feel the other's hands hovering just above his wings, not quite touching yet. “This might take me a bit,” he spoke up after a moment, “I don't think I've seen them quite like this before.”

Grian swallowed thickly, a lump forming in his throat. “Is- Is it really bad?” He asked, trying to keep his voice strong. 

“Nothing we can't handle together,” Scar promised, “just breathe, I'm going to start now.”

Grian took a deep breath at Scar's suggestion, and then he felt fingers in his feathers. His head started spinning as he was almost thrown back into the past, back to the convention, back against the wall, hands clawing at his wings— but Scar's touch was so gentle, grounding him in the moment, so careful that he couldn't realistically equate the two. 

“Is this okay so far?” Scar's voice was soft, barely audible in Grian's ear. “Tell me if you need me to stop.”

“You're doing fine,” he choked on his own words, but that didn't stop Scar’s hands, carefully working each feather one by one until it laid flat, plucking those damaged from his own miscare.

“Thank you for letting me do this,” Scar murmured after a particularly tough tug. “So strong. Your wings are going to look a-may-zing after this.”

Grian wasn't sure when he started crying again, silent tears streaming down his cheeks. It seemed Scar was just as unaware, focused on the task at hand until Grian sniffed, raising a hand to rub at his face. 

His hands didn't stop, thank the void, though they did slow. “You holding on alright there, Grian?” He smoothed a hand down the small area he'd already finished, making Grian relax under the touch. 

Grian couldn't help the chirp that escaped him, clear as day even through the tears. “Y-yeah,” he choked after, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “It's good, just- just a lot.”

“Okay, let me know if you need a break.” Scar meant well, but Grian was fairly certain if they took a break, he wouldn’t let the other start again. Regardless, he nodded a little, even if he lacked the intent behind it.

Their conversation, if it could even be called that, dropped off at that point. Every once in a while Scar would murmur gentle praises and gratitudes, more speaking at Grian than with him, seeing as he didn’t respond and Scar never pushed him to. The tears had dried once more by the time Scar had finished with the first wing and moved onto the other, manually stretching out the muscles that had subconsciously retracted.

Grian almost could have fallen asleep under Scar’s ministrations once he calmed again, breathing steady and slow as he absentmindedly fiddled with the hem of his sweater, movements slow and without purpose. He hadn’t even noticed when Scar eventually stopped, reaching the end of the task at hand.

“Hey, Gri, how’s everything feeling?” Scar’s voice startled Grian out of his own head, his little jolt earning a laugh. “Wake up, sleepyhead. How do your wings feel?”

“Mm?” Words weren’t working quite yet, but they were jump-started again as soon as he spread his wings, startled by just how good they felt. “Oh- Scar they’re- they feel fantastic,” his voice was quiet, and he could almost feel tears welling up again.

“Good,” Scar sounded relieved, running his fingers through Grian’s feathers one last time, making him shiver a little. “They look really good too, so clean and bright, I’m glad I could help.”

“I-” Grian choked for a moment, suddenly yearning for the feeling of air beneath his wings again. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed it. “I need to fly,” he scrambled out of bed, stumbling a little and ignoring Scar’s laugh. “I’ll be right back, I promise, I just-”

“Go.” Scar was grinning, but Grian felt bad leaving him covered in the small pile of broken feathers.

“Five minutes,” he promised, holding up a hand. “Five minutes, then I’ll be back to clean up and we can have breakfast and- and whatever else you want to do today. Five minutes.”

“Five minutes,” Scar agreed, with a knowing smile.

Grian all but dove out the front door, a whooping cheer leaving him for the first time in forever as he spiraled through the air. Fifteen minutes later, he was sheepishly creeping back inside to Scar, windswept hair and a bright smile on his face. He didn’t feel quite so bad about the time though, not when Scar was grinning so wide right back at him.

[sgt-scottymoreau]

Rogue Soldier

Summary: Scotty dissapear after a previous mission went south. For months, no one can't figure out where she is, till one day.

Warning: Violence, description of injuries/pain

Words: 4k // Masterlist

A/N: Another cheesy fic slightly inspired by the Winter Soldier idea. I wrote that like over a year ago and only post it now because I'm running low in Canon content lol Enjoy!

Every night for the last months, he woke up in cold sweat, dreaming again and again about the same failure he did. Price told him over and over that it wasn't his fault, so did Soap and Gaz. They all tried to support him, but it happened under his watch. He was supposed to protect her. He pushed the blanket, heading to the bathroom to wash up his face. He closed the tap, his eyes lifted to the mirror in front. Ghost saw how tired and horrible he looked. Worse than usual. He could hear her saying so and a small smile drew on his lips. Which then was followed again by her screaming out his name. His knuckles tighten around the towel. 

During a mission, Scotty had been kidnapped. They tried their best, pulled every string from all their connections without avail. Laswell didn't find anything, neither did Nikolai or Farah. Even Alenjandro and his Vaqueros had no intel. The 141 kept this secret for a month, before the day he dreaded happened. Without any news on her whereabouts, she had to be declared M.I.A and the news had to be brought to her family. Ghost was glad he was not the one who explained them, Price had the obligation as her captain to do it. Nonetheless he was there when the news was spoken. It felt like once again he let down his family. Another failure on his part. Scotty's dad remained clear headed the whole time, her mother wasn't hysterical but no amount of reassurance would calm her. Gabrielle was also there and she was speechless, but her face spoke of the pain. She was in shock. None of them promised the family they would find her again, but they would never stop looking. 

Despite all of this everyone refused to believe Scotty was dead. They had no body to prove she was dead. So maybe there were still small hopes. Hopes who were slowly dimming away as more weeks passed by. He returned to bed. A bed that felt so empty now. That's why he never wanted to get attached because in their line of work you never knew when one wouldn't not come back home. Ghost turned around in the bedsheet, gazing at the ceiling, watching the clock, trying to sleep. He was restless. He thought that mindless scrolling on his phone would help. It did till, for whatever reasons, Ghost went to check the pictures. Not that he had taken much of her; it was in fact the other way around. Scotty was always taking pictures of them and would send them to him. He simply saved them. He looked at her smile or that one silly picture she sent or the one he took of her sleeping on the couch in the most uncomfortable position, yet looked beautiful to his eyes. His heart ached. 

Ghost would never admit but he was thankful to his friends to be there for him. It was hard for everyone, but they knew how it was harder for him. She meant everything to him. So they kept taking turns to keep his mind off the darkness, not leave him alone too much even if it was all he said he wanted. Soap remembered one day he went to Ghost's place, only to find him looking more miserable than usual. Like he hadn't showered or eaten in days. He really felt bad for him. After some encouragement, the Scotsman finally made him dress up and they went out for a drink. Ghost needed some fresh air according to him. 

They enjoyed some snacks and drinks at the local pub. Ghost was still brooding, but Soap terrible attempts at jokes did drag a smile out of him here and there. He was fidgeting with his drink when two girls showed up at their tables. He did not even bother lifting his head to face them. "Come here often, handsome?" One of them advanced to Soap. 

"Sorry ladies, not interested tonight." He shut them down quickly. 

"What about your friend here?" One lady asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ghost tensed up and shifted away. "Jeez no need to be so rude. Not with an attitude like this and this… mask that you gonna get a girl." 

The glare he gave her made the girl move five steps back. "I suggest you leave." He let out coldly. The two girls didn't try to argue. Ghost sipped on his drink. If only they had known how this mask and attitude indeed got him a girl…

Missions felt different. Not too much, they were used to missions where she wasn't there. But her snarky comments, her goofing around with Soap and Gaz, her accidental flirting with Ghost, all were missing. Just like today. Soap was complaining on the com. Till Gaz replied. "Pretty sure Captain, don't want someone to go full clean everywhere."

"I know my tactics are brute force sometimes, but do I really need to be overwatch?"

"A little focus, lads." Price intervened. 

Despite her absence, Soap and Ghost both heard her. Her remark every time Price would say this. And girl. Obviously their coms never sparked her chuckles. Soap looked at his friend who focused himself on his scope. He had a visual on Price, Gaz and Stevenson. Someone who had worked with them before and was again paired up for this mission. 

"I got a visual on the target. He's talking with someone." Ghost said. "Garrick, he is only a few meters away from you."

"Any hostiles that might be with him?" Price asked. 

"I see nothing sir." Soap replied while scouting with the binocular. 

Ghost watched through the small crowd. "Hold that thought…" He noticed something off. Someone who was trying to blend in the crowd. However, said person did not look to be part of their current target affiliation. He adjusted his snipe. His blood went cold when the person turned around. "Johnny!" He shouted louder than expected, making him jump. "Check the person with the black hood, near the restaurant, there!"

Soap wasn't sure why. Ghost wouldn't be vague like this for no reason, he was always direct. His gaze followed the instruction and his own heart skipped a beat. "It's her!" He exclaimed. The two men looked at each other; they had to focus on the mission but how did she just reappear out of nowhere. "Captain! We have a visual on Scotty!" Soap radioed quickly. 

Price, who was sitting on a bench, tried to look for the position they pointed him to. He couldn't make up her face, but he did see the woman with the hood. Gaz, who was also nearby, lost focus for a moment and searched for her. Being closer, he saw her features. "I would say you guys are crazy, but no it is her." He confirmed. 

"I saw her too." Stevenson came in. "Keep your eyes on the main target, I'll make contact with her.”

From their spot, Ghost told Soap to keep watch on target, he will keep eyes on Scotty. He lost her once, he won't lose her a second time. Through his scope, he watched Stevenson approach with a friendly embrace. But something was off. She didn't seem to remember him? Ghost kept watching. They had worked with the man not long before she was kidnapped. For sure she would know his face. Ghost gestured at Soap to also watch, confirming that it wasn't his mind playing tricks. Her stance was stern and cold. They both saw Stevenson only at arm length. He seemed like he said something. Her course of action took their breath away. Scotty grabbed the man's arm, swiftly flipped him around, forced him on his knee and plunged a knife in his neck. The crowd scattered in fear, causing chaos to their main mission. 

"What the fuck happened?" Price yelled getting up ready to jump in the action. 

Ghost's words almost got caught in his throat. "It's Scotty… she is… hostile." 

Soap turned to him with confusion on his face. Price was also stunned by this realization but kept his head straight. With the crowd panicking, their target could get away easily. He ordered Gaz to capture him before he could ask. The sergeant agreed and swiftly made his way through the crowd. From their higher ground, Ghost and Soap didn't let go of both, giving updates on their movements. Gaz was about to intercept the target, when Ghost saw it.

"Garrick! Watch your back!" He yelled in the radio quickly.

Gaz turned around to see Scotty about to knock him out. He ducked in the time and slipped to the side. The woman placed herself between the two men, almost as she was protecting him. The target smiled. "Do you like my new pet? She turned out to be quite an asset once we were done." He explained. 

Ghost's hands gripped his sniper so hard, his knuckles hurted. He did not like the way he was talking about her. "What did you do to her?" Gaz asked, taking a defensive stance.

"Isn't it obvious? She is here to protect me… and kill all of you. Isn't that right, love? It's the 141 after all." With this, Gaz saw her pull a gun out and aim at him. He dodged quickly before trying to find cover.

"She has a gun. We can't let her be in the middle of this chaos, going around shooting!" Gaz radioed to be sure everyone would hear. Price was already by his side by then. He had to think quickly of a solution, while he could see the gun being pointed in his direction. It wouldn't take long for local authorities to also show up. She had to be drawn somewhere else without any civilians being able to point out the direction. However one detail made no sense to him. If Scotty was indeed the target's protection, why would she keep her face out in the open? Anyone would be able to identify her. Unless this was part of their enemy's plan. But for what? Price pushed Gaz behind cover with him. By reflex, they both grab their weapon, fully aware that none of them wished to arm her. 

Ghost followed the exchange with a caution eye. He wasn't the type of man to lose his cool during a mission or a high stake moment. But right now, he felt his body being tense; his breathing was heavy, his grip was strong and his mind racing. Price hadn't ordered anything yet, which gave him the idea that he was probably in the same mindset as him. Finding a solution that would not result in more blood. The crowd cleared from their position. This gave Ghost an opportunity to test something. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, before pulling the trigger. The bullet hit the ground right behind her. By her surprised reaction, his guess was right. She was not aware of their position. 

Price and Gaz took advantage of this distraction to jump on the woman. With not much success. Gaz had sparred with her in the past, he knew how she danced. Now, it felt like he was fighting someone else. She easily got the upper hand. A pressure on his shoulder followed by a loud bang made him realize much. A stinging pain and warmth overwhelmed this part. Another sniper shot was fired and Scotty jumped back again. Price tempted another attempt at getting a hold of her. Despite the confusion, Scotty was able to get him first. With a quick move, Scotty spinned him around, his back against her, his arm above her shoulder and pulled on it. A loud crack and pain jolted through his elbow to his shoulder. If it wasn't for a third snipe shot, Price would have probably received a gunshot wound after the broken arm.

Ghost saw that he finally had her full attention to the building when she dropped Price and scouted their direction. Soap had a better idea to help. He stood at the window, waving. "Hey! Over here!" He shouted. As expected, they watched her rush toward their position. 

"What do we do now? It's not like we can shoot her…" Soap groaned. "We don't even know why she's acting like that!"

"I have an idea why…" An idea that made him sick and enraged. "We need to stop her without any harm." 

Soap agreed. The two men took position for ambush. They waited…waited…and waited. Ghost glanced by the window. Price was taking care of Gaz, but no Scotty in sight. What was she doing? The lieutenant gestured to Soap to slowly move from his position to check out. He did so, crouching to reach the door. He pushed it with his gun. No riposte. Was she in the building or not? Soap tempted a check; his head picking just a little to see the hallway. Nothing. "Negative on…" He was interrupted by the door slamming on his face violently. Soap stumbled back, broken nose. He lost balance, fell flat on his back and a foot stopped on his chest pinning him down. Scotty was above him, ready to shoot. The sergeant grabbed her leg and pulled as hard as he could to destabilize her. It worked, although in her fall she did pull the trigger. The bullet grazed his arm. Ghost sent a warning shot to get her attention. He saw enough friends being hurt. 

‘‘Drop the gun!’’ He ordered, doing the same. ‘‘We are not gonna hurt, but if you force our hands.’’ Scotty did not move a muscle, always aiming at him. At the moment he was the treat. Ghost’s brain was working overclock to make sense of what was going on. Try to piece together what was happening to her, with his own experience. Disappearing for months, reappearing as a changed person, ready to kill in cold blood… He gritted his teeth. Soap took the opportunity of their silent exchange to push back one more time. He pushed himself on his feet despite the pain and disarmed her. Not without struggle, but he was able to get the gun out of her grip. He had forgotten about the knife though. Something he was reminded of when he avoided it just by an inch, his cheek being cut in the process still. 

It was a game of distraction and action. Ghost took Soap’s distraction to his advantage this time, jumping on her, holding her as much as he could. Scotty squirmed to get out of his grip, kicking him. Her head hit his own. Thanks to the mask, he did not get anything broken but the shock was enough for him to lose his grip. Which was all she needed to slip away. The rogue soldier spinned around with the knife about to dig in Ghost’s tight. He avoided it just on time. She riposted by swiftly going for a slice up. All she managed was to graze his bulletproof vest. Ghost could have gone for his own knife or gun or anything to stop her, but he couldn’t get himself to hurt her. The last time he had to face someone in the same situation it had been so easy to kill him. No second thoughts. However this time, it wasn’t so easy. He dodged every single of her attempts to kill him. ‘‘Come Scotty! Don’t you recognize us? Me?’’

‘‘You are 141, you need to be killed!’’ These were not the words he expected to hear from her after months. But at least it made everything clear. It did clear up that this wouldn’t finish with either them dead or her knock out. Ghost will apologize for it later, for now he has to protect his team. Just like Gaz, he noticed her different fightstyle and had to adapt to it. He had to give it to her, she was still able to get him a few times. Knife cutting through his clothes dragging blood. Despite hating this, he did succeed one or two hits on her too. A bleeding lip, bruised cheeks, kick in the shin. Yet, she was still standing, always coming back at him with the same energy. Whatever the enemy used to brainwash her, they really worked her resolve into not giving up till they were dead. Even if it killed her. On the outside, sirens from ambulances and police flooded the place. Even if they made it out alive, it would be hard for extraction. This had to finish now.

He saw the opening and went for it. Ghost rolled under her leg, pushing her up with his shoulder. Before she even tried to regain her balance in the fall, he slammed her against the floor. The shock knocked the air out of her lungs. He had only a fraction of a second to get her and knock her out. She kicked and tried to punch him before she went limp. Ghost let go quickly before it would kill her. Out of breath, Soap and him looked at each other now that the heat had cooled off. It was time to leave without attracting attention.

****

When she finally came back to herself, she was at the base’s infirmary. Her head was aching like the worst hangover she ever had. With a grunt, Scotty tried to lift her hand to massage her temples but restraints held her down. She was confused for a moment. While would she need these? The same for her ankles. ‘‘What the fuck.’’ Scotty breathed. She tried to put the pieces back together, thinking of what happened before she found herself here. But everything was a blur. Did she really drink that much and this was some sort of joke? Soap was probably behind this. Incapable of moving more than her head, she looked around. She was plugged to a bunch of wires, a beeping machine and a half asleep Soap in the chair, with his feet resting on the bed, next to her. 

‘‘Hey McTavish!’’ She called him out, making him jump. He looked terrible. Left over of a broken nose, healing bruises on his face. ‘‘What happened to you, you look like shit.’’ 

‘‘You happened.’’ He shifted in his seat stretching his muscles. ‘‘You think we can remove the restraint or you will jump on me again?’’

‘‘The fuck are you talking about?’’ 

‘‘Let me get the captain. I think we have a lot to explain…’’ He left her to her wondering. She must have missed a good one. Five minutes later, Soap came back with Price and the other two. They all looked like hell. Ghost much less than the other, but when was the last time he had some good sleep? Both Price and Gaz had splints.

‘‘How are you doing, lass?’’ The captain asked to take a seat. 

‘‘Like I have the worst headache and everything is fuzzy in the brain. Still it seems like I’m doing better than all of you.’’ They all chuckled at her remark.

‘‘You have been in and out for a week now. I know it might be hard but I need you to tell me what happened three months ago. Do you remember anything?’’

Scotty took a moment to think. ‘‘We were in Germany, trying to take down someone… Then…I think something went wrong… and…’’ The memories hit back hard. They were more flashes, but enough that she could recall what happened after the enemies got their hands on her. A cold cell, sleepless night, needles, burning sensation in her body… Bright light… Electric shock… Pain. Then nothing. Till now. Her skin itched at the ghostly sensation of the needles and the shocks, maybe her brain was blocking the memory but her muscles hadn’t forgotten. ‘‘I remember people talking, like they are giving me instruction…’’

‘‘Like kill the… 141?’’ Gaz said. She noticed them tense up at the word. Scotty watched them confused. A wave of relief took them when they saw how calm she remained. Price allowed the restraints to be removed. The captain took the time to explain all that happened a few days ago, not chewing his words when it came to what she did to them. Scotty sunk in the bed. She was the one responsible for their state. She almost killed them all… because she had been told to do so. 

‘‘We figured out that you might have been brainwashed, with a trigger. It seems like 141 was it.’’ Price explained. ‘‘Glad to see it seems to not be the case. I still want you to see a psychologist when you are out. I don’t want to take the risk.’’

‘‘Sure captain.’’ She fidgeted with the sheet. Tears blurring her vision. ‘‘Guys, I’m so sorry! I hurted you so bad, tried to kill you and…’’ Any more words got lost in sobs. 

‘‘We’re good Scotty. Don’t worry, mate.’’ Soap reassured her. ‘‘Gaz gets some days off and needs physical rehabilitation, but at least he lives. Cap is also alive with a painful shoulder nothing different than his old bones and I just get a re-facing, I’ll be pretty in no long. Don’t sweat it.’’ Between sobs, she laughed at his casual description of everything, but she still felt guilty. The only one who still hadn’t talked since was Ghost. He actually kept himself a bit aside from the small crowd. Price knew why and after a quick wrap up, he gestured to the two other sergeants to leave the room. Gaz closed the door behind him, allowing some privacy. 

Scotty was whipping her tears while Ghost sat on the bed. They remained silent for a minute. ‘‘Looks like you are the one with the least damage.’’ She smiled. ‘‘I really feel bad for Gaz; he is the one I hurt the most.’’

Ghost kept silent. He didn’t know where to even begin. ‘‘Don’t worry about us. You should take care of yourself. I know too well how brainwash can leave damage.’’ He didn’t have to explain more on what he meant, nor that she would have to explain to him in detail what she had been through. He knew first hand. Her hand slided towards him and her fingers wrapped around his hand. His shoulders fell down. Ghost had been holding a lot of tension and this small touch made it melt away. To hell with being professional, there was no one in the room. He wrapped his arms around her, hugged her so tight she could barely breathe. 

‘‘I thought you were dead. I was sure I would never see you again, that I lost you forever.’’ He wasn’t quite crying, but every word was punctuated with emotions. Scotty slowly raised her arm, gripped on his back and buried her face in the crock of his neck. 

‘‘You are the reason why it took them a while to break me and even then. As much as they wanted me to, I can’t kill my friend and I definitely can’t kill you.’’ Their hug lasted a few minutes, letting go only because their muscles were sore. Ghost didn’t take off his mask, but lifted it enough to have his lips free and kiss her. God he missed that. To feel her against him, to have his anchor to sanity and the world, his love. 

‘‘I’m sorry I was not able to protect you back when they got you. I should have been able to stop them.’’ He said, his forehead against hers. ‘‘Don’t say it’s not my fault, it was.’’

‘‘I don’t want to think about who’s fault it was or not. I’m just glad to be home.’’ She would never blame him for this. It was a risk she was aware of. No amount of preps could have prevented something that was supposed to happen. But for now, she was back home and it was time to heal. And make up for the trouble she caused. Ghost was happy that he wouldn’t sleep alone after so long. 

[tulipsforyourlips]

✧˖°. i found you ✧˖°. (4)

|| the sandman x dead boy detectives ||

SUMMARY: You run the dead boys detective agency along with your two best friends. And somehow two ghosts and a living girl make it work. Until you dream one night, of dream himself.

PAIRING: dream of the endless x fem!reader

WC: 3K

WARNINGS: none I can think of

PART 4✧˖°.

"So let me get this straight, ghosts cannot lie to you yet you work with two ghosts who apparently can," Matthew cawed from his place on your shoulder where you were huddled in one corner of the Dreaming library. 

Earlier that day, Dream had intercepted your walk to the bakery nearby your apartment, almost giving you a jump scare, and then brought you back here with him once you'd pleaded to let your ghost friends know you were going out. Since it was a weekend and the agency remained closed, they didn't question you. Although Charles did tease you about a date. If only.  

"Yep that pretty much sums it up. But it's not out of compulsion, it's that ghosts trust me, it's like they have no other option than to trust me. I don't know how it works seriously, just that it has helped a hell lot of ghosts successfully cross over and boom our business. And as far as Edwin and Charles are concerned, well my powers, if you could call it that, did happen after meeting the guys. So," you shrugged.

"Interesting," Matthew mulled over your words, "and this has been going for the past.."

"4 years.”

"And you remember nothing before that? No family, no one from your past?" 

An all so ever familiar brush of sadness tingled every bone in your body. "No," you exhaled. 

"I am sorry.”

"Eh I am used to it now. Besides I love my life with the boys. I did search for any signs of my family, if I had one and then just gave up after a year. The boys are my family now." 

"Include me in too.”

You laughed at Matthew’s response. "Of course you are my precious little raven." 

"My lady," Lucienne's voice greeted you, "he’s ready.”

While you were away, Morpheus had tried to repair the damage only for a fresh bout of earthquakes to replace the previous destruction. Now you made your way to where he stood crafting dreams or nightmares. 

"Mortal," he said in greeting, his back turned to you. 

"Dream.”

He moved aside and your breath got caught in your throat. Staring at you, was a half human, half monster who had a tongue of a reptile and teeth like razors. The stuff of literal nightmares.  

"Make him trust you," Dream spoke.

"Are you crazy?" You looked at him as if someone had cracked his skull open and was gorging on his brains and someone might have with what he was suggesting. 

"You dare-?" 

Yes you fucking dared. What was he expecting you to do, commit suicide? 

But he was after all an Endless, and you did not wish to invoke his wrath so you only mumbled, "I can't do this, you can't expect me to get a nightmare to trust me! It's unreal!" 

"But ghosts trust you.”

"Yes because they are ghosts and he is, well a bloody nightmare.”

"Try.”

"And who's guaranteeing that I won't die trying?”

"I am.” His words were solid pebbles dropping in your guts. 

You don't know what made you take the next step, maybe it was the conviction in his voice, but you stretched your arms forward and warily tried to approach the monster human. You took baby steps towards him, just a few more, you assured yourself but then the nightmare lunged straight for you. You tripped backward and the sandy ground contacted your back. But before the nightmare could contact you, Dream raised his hand and the nightmare vanished into darkness, flecks of what he once used to be gracing the ground in front of you. You got up on your feet, the image of razor teeth inches away from your face still imprinted in your mind. 

"I am sorry Dream I can't do this." 

"What?” A frown displayed on his face. “But I ensured no harm came to you.”

"Dream I was saved from becoming nightmare food by a mere second!" 

"I would not have let any harm befall you." His eyes sook yours trying to convey the determination behind his words. 

Your face softened. You wanted to believe him. You really did. But how could you trust his creations when you did not trust the creator himself.  

"And I am just supposed to believe you?" 

"Morta-"

"You know I have a name. If you want me to help you, the least you can do is stop perceiving me as a fly in your path and call me by my name!" you snapped. 

Dream was silent. 

"Get me out of here.”

You half expected him to deny your request but sand began swirling around you, and the next moment you were teleported back to the waking world. Had he so easily given up on you? Good riddance. 

When you pushed the door to the apartment open, the guys were huddled together on the couch, watching television. 

"Hey! how was your date?" Charles asked, his gaze fixed on the television. 

"Terrible," you murmured and slammed the door to your bedroom behind you. 

The king of Dreams sat on his throne, gazing at the universe contained in his ceiling, when he felt you enter the Dreaming. He always did. He entered the mountain clearing, your lone figure was sprawled on the grass in the distance beneath the starry sky. Before his brain could object, he started towards you.

You must have felt his presence because you bolted upright when he neared you, “Dream,”

His name felt so weightless on your tongue, he wanted to hear it again and again. You on the other hand didn’t know why you were so surprised to see him here, it was his realm after all.

“I told you I am not-"

“Relax Hazel, I am not here to impart any lessons to you.”

Hazel

“So why are you here?”

He opened his mouth and closed it, no answer left him. Had you just seen the Dream Lord hesitate? You patched the grass beside you, an invitation for truce. Tentatively, he sat down, his cloak spooling around him. It was an odd sight, seeing the Dream Lord on the ground beside you, instead of his ceremonious throne.

“Did you create this?” You asked.

“Partially, I had help.”

“I thought only you had the power to create dreams and nightmares.” Your time in the library had been well spent.

“It is true, but the vision can always belong to someone else. His voice was soft, words floating into the winds.

You imagined someone having the vision for this, for this phenomenal beauty you were sitting in and you thanked them.

“It’s beautiful.” Your voice came like a whisper.

Morpheus looked at you. “It is.”

You both sat in silence, gazing at the stars twinkling above you.

Dream’s voice penetrated the quiet. “Mort-Hazel, I never mean to belittle you. And believe it or not, I am grateful to you for your help. But you have to understand that-”

“Then make me understand.” You repeated your words from your first visit to the Dreaming.

Morpheus sighed before the low baritone of his voice reached you. “You know there are seven of us. There is Death, Destiny, Desire, Delirium, Despair, Destruction and I. And it is our purpose to ensure the smooth running of humankind. We have been here since the beginning of time itself and will be here when the last soul departs the Earth-” You had already read all this in the library but let him go on “-but along us siblings, there was,” he paused.

You thought it was for dramatic effect but when he didn’t continue, you called to him, “Dream?”

He inhaled sharply, “Hope.” The word left his mouth in a breathy exhale.  “There was Hope, and she held together what you could call the fabric of humanity.”

“Where is she now?” You asked.

Dream looked at you for some time and answered, his voice a whisper, “dead.”

The hurt in his voice took you off guard. 

“I am sorry.”

Silence engulfed the both of you again.

“Is that the reason behind the earthquakes?”

“Hope and Dream are co-dependent. Neither can exist without the other. We thought, we hoped that the future could withstand the loss of hope, but the inhabitants of the Dreaming grow weak without her pulse and the realm itself is failing.”

“And if it does, so will humanity.” Your words sunk in you.

“Because what are humans, rather any of us, without dreams and hope?” He looked at you.

“And that is why you need me, to instill trust in the dreams and nightmares so that they don’t stray from their purpose to serve humanity,” everything clicked, "Dream I had no idea-“

“It wasn’t your fault,” he stated. “But now since you know how imperative it is for the dreams and nightmares to learn to trust, the shadow of hope, will you help me,” his eyes held yours and there was a delicate plea seeping into his gravelly voice, “save the world?”

“Yes.”

You rested your head against Edwin's torso as you flipped through the mail you were holding. He was propped against the back of the wall as he went through a thick volume of ghost fungi or something. You couldn't care less. The past week had been tiring, an understatement of course. Your every organ was tired, despite sleeping for 10 hours a day. But it wasn't like you were sleeping, Morpheus and you trained every night in the Dreaming, and your grueling efforts had reaped no fruit yet. And during the days, the agency's work took a toll on you. The only respite from your exhausting and rigorous routine was the hour just before dawn, when you'd sit with Dream in your little bubble and gaze at the stars together. You'd begun looking forward to it every day, you had realised with reluctance. 

"Aha! This seems interesting.” You held out a paper in your hand, grabbing the attention of both the boys. 

Charles tilted his head from his position on the table to read the print on the paper. "A demon possession, brills!" 

"So your believe you are possessed by a demon?" Edwin scribbled notes in his notepad. 

"Yes.” The girl's voice was hoarse with crying. 

"And what makes you believe that?" 

"I-I wake up in strange places which I have no memory of traveling to, and there are voices inside my head-”

"Yeah, welcome to being alive duh," you snorted. 

Shit you had said that aloud. 

Charles gave you a rebuking look. 

"Sorry," you muttered. 

"The voices inside my head, they are too loud. He makes me do things I would never do," the girl continued.

"Can you..feel him right now?" 

"No,” she shook her head, “he surfaces only occasionally," she sniffed. 

"Hey." Charles held the girl by her shoulders. "Don't worry, you will be okay. We will get him out, we promise.”

Oh no, there was only one rule. You never ever promised a client. You look up expecting to see Edwin's dismal expression but only find a thin veil of envy coating his features. Oh boy. 

You were just beginning to tease him when you caught the unmistakable unruly hair of the King of Dreams to your right in the distance. 

"Uh guys, I will be right back," you told the group, "really need to pee."

God you needed to work on your excuses. 

"What are you doing here?" You hissed when you neared him. 

Matthew cawed on his shoulder. 

"Pleased to meet you too Hazel.”

"I thought we had a deal, no training during daytime.”

"It's not I but Lucienne who seeks you. She needs your help with the library.”

"Oh?” Spending an entire day in the library of dreams? Sign me up. “Well then I could make an exception for her,” you hummed. 

“Of course, it doesn’t assist any fascination of yours,” he mocked. 

“Did you just attempt sarcasm? They grow up so fast.” You wiped false tears.

“Come now-”

“I need to tell the boys first, and don’t-don’t do that whirlpool thing here,” you looked around, “there are witnesses. Meet me at the-”

Before you could finish, he dissolved into nothingness. Great. 

“Were you um talking to yourself?” Edwin’s voice spooked you. 

You whirled around. “Yeah, just normal sane things.” You added hurriedly, “what’s with the girl?” 

Edwin’s expression changed into annoyance at her mention. “Charles insists on taking her back to the apartment to-“ he drew quotation marks in the air, “-monitor her in hopes of expelling the demon out of her body.”

“Well all the best with that.”

“What do you mean? You aren’t coming back with us?” 

“I just think that since she’s not a ghost and I don’t have any leverage over her, I might pursue other activities today.”

“Like the date?” Edwin frowned.

“No-Yes,” you sighed, giving up. 

“Uh alright have fun. See you tonight.” 

“You too.” 

You were propped up in Lucienne’s chair, combing through yet another volume of the history of the universe. The sheer rarity of this knowledge baffled you. You hadn’t seen Morpheus since he had apparated the both of you in the library. Turns out, Lucienne had been rearranging vast sections of the library today and even though she didn’t exactly need your help with that, she welcomed an eager friend and her joyful company. After hours of studying her intricate filing system and aiding her in that, your tired self now sat a few feet away from where she stacked the remnant books in their allotted places. You simply were in awe of that woman. Matthew chirped from your shoulder, he had seemed to make a home there. Eyes drooping with exhaustion, you slammed the book shut. Should you ask them? It’s now or never right?

“Who was Hope?” 

Lucienne froze in her movements, and Matthew stopped chirping. A feather could be heard dropped in the quiet that you had unknowingly compelled the room into. 

The librarian answered after what felt like hours, “it isn’t our place to say, my lady.” 

You nodded, a part of you had already known her answer. 

“Hazel please Lucienne.”

”Sorry my la- Hazel.”

Jesse, you had learned was the name of the possessed girl, giggled at an extremely, extremely horrid joke of Charles. 

“I don’t understand. That wasn’t funny,” Edwin said. 

Man he really needed to learn to conceal his jealousy better. 

“You and me both buddy,” you said more to yourself. 

“It’s alright mate, it isn’t exactly Victorian humour,” Charles said in between laughs. 

Charles and Jesse were clustered together on the couch, being unnecessarily touchy. Edwin was viewing them with a bitter scowl. 

You nudged him in the ribs lightly, “Someone is jealous.”

“Please, like she is someone a human or ghost could get jealous over.” 

Was he seriously that utterly daft?

“Eds I meant Charles,” you said it in a ‘duh that’s so obvious’ tone. 

“What?” He got immediately defensive. “Charles is my best friend, and nothing more. Nor do I wish him to be,” he jutted his chin out.

“Ok liar, pants on fire,” you squinted at him. 

“Hazel I don’t know how to prove that to you.”

You tittered, “prove it to yourself, love.” 

Edwin sat in deliberate consideration for a while. You glanced at the time, 9:00 pm, you were so tired but the day was young even though the moon was out. A part of you just wanted to escape your destiny and blah blah, but the part that was slowly growing attached to Dream didn't let you do so.

“Hazel?” Charles’ voice pulled you back. 

“Uh yeah,” 

“So tell her about it.”

“About what?” 

“About the case of the sea monster we solved a while back," he said with annoyance, "were you not listening to me?”

“Uh uh. No can do.” You got up, brushing imaginary flecks of dust from your pants. “Anyways lads, I am going to disintegrate myself into my beloved bed now where my beloved sleep awaits me.”

“Who are you and what have you done to my Hazel?” Charles pointed his fingers at you. 

“What?” You laughed. 

“Mate you have been going to bed at 9 pm for more than a week now, you, the one who put the sleep schedule of owls to shame.”

“Yeah I don’t know man I just feel super tired recently.”

“Everything's aces right?” Charles’ voice was concerned. 

“You just seem a lot distant lately,” Edwin added. 

“I do?” Genuine shock seeped into your tone. You needed to cover your tracks better. You fucking hated keeping things from them. Jesse looked curiously at you. 

“Yep boys everything's aces, it’s just called being in your 20's right?” You tried to lighten the atmosphere with a joke. 

They didn’t even seem half convinced but didn’t interfere further as you entered your room and subsequently the land of Dreams. 

The river babbled as it shimmered under the stars. Morpheus and you sat together after another training session. You were getting closer, both you and him were sensing it. You turned your head towards him, his dark eyes held the entire cosmos in them, and his cloak blended into the surroundings. Here in the dark, under the cover of the night, he almost felt like an extension of darkness itself. His hair was wild like always, falling on his forehead, and you had the sudden urge to glide your fingers through them and tuck them back. Embarrassing. 

“Do you wish to say something, mortal?” 

This time the mortal wasn’t used as a deriding remark, rather it had now become a term of endearment between you two. 

“Did you love her?” The question escaped you. 

Morpheus was silent. “Love who?” 

“Hope,” you said, her name on your tongue a weird sensation. 

He didn’t answer. But that was answer enough for you. Dream in love? The literal king of Dreams was capable of experiencing an emotion as tender as love? A pang of something hit your insides. Jealousy? No, can’t be. No way in hell you were falling for an Endless, least of all him. 

Time laughed somewhere in the universe. 

SERIES MASTERLIST✧˖°.

[elusivecagedmockingbird]

Bleach

[yoongi x reader] [1.3k+ of tolerable angst and fluff if you squint; nothing much going on but feelings are there]

A/N: I wrote this when I was missing Yoongi and weeks have passed and I'm still missing him. My bad on the late publish! Work and life got to me. :/ I hope you still remember me.

-

Yoongi hadn't moved since the moment he entered the shop and sat himself at your usual table at the corner of the artisan cafe. The spot hides you from everyone else, but you get a pretty view of passers-by. And while most patrons would avoid getting seated at the table, for you and Yoongi, it was a haven and you were just glad you didn’t have a lot of competition over the seats.

Thus, Yoongi thinks it's cruel, how, in a matter of minutes, the corner that once felt like a safe place for you and him, suddenly feels too claustrophobic for him alone. He wants nothing but to leave the place.

Your quick departure was a contrast to his static posture at the wooden seat—ruminating, processing everything. You left as quickly as you came.

He estimates you had only stayed for half an hour, and in those gone minutes, it was only you who talked while he was shocked and blindsided by what was happening that he was rendered speechless.

"Yoongi, let's break up."

No hello kiss on the cheek, or not even a curt Hi. You dived straight to the point. Your candor is a trait he appreciates, but today, he feels otherwise.

His brain struggled to comprehend what your words meant. He heard you, but somehow he didn't understand the words and all that followed. Yoongi is a man of few words—never one to talk nonstop or hold the mic at get-togethers; rather, Yoongi is a listener.

But just for today of all days, he hoped he was more vocal; articulate.

Yoongi heaves a dry rueful chuckle.

How unbelievable, he sighs.

Was this a fever dream? Did he accidentally fall asleep while waiting for you and if he wakes up now, will he find you still seated in your chair taking pictures of him as you muffle your giggles.

He finds himself bargaining to whoever was listening to let this be a dream.

The café starts to fill up, he notices.

For years, Yoongi sat on the very same chair his ass is at right now and across from him is where you should be… still—that's how it always was. He doesn't see the point of staying and saving the other chair now.

He looks around one last time. Yoongi holds on to the chance that you're still in the café pulling a mean trick on him and yet, as his eyes land on his pitiful reflection on the glass, he loses heart.

He lets a few seconds pass before he takes the cup of coffee he ordered for you, albeit it's too sweet and creamy for this taste, he'd rather not have it thrown away.

At least, he'd get to save something that shouldn't go to waste today.

-

People say when you do something in repetition, it dulls the emotion that it carries. He wonders how many more sad desperate voicemails must he leave before he stops the aching in his heart. He hates the yearning and anger that races within him.

"Y/N. It's Yoongi. Please answer my calls. I just... I need to talk to you. This can't be it—the end of us."

He isn't sure if he despises you for summoning these odd feelings out of him or it's himself he dislikes for acting this way.

Yoongi had been recalling the days you spent with and without each other before the day you broke up with him. He has been desperately searching for a reason—he needs to know why.

Was it something he said or did? Or was it something he DID NOT say or do? Or did you just wake up that day and decided you no longer loved him?

It's driving him insanely frustrated. He doesn't pray, but lately, he has been whispering pleas and promises.

One phone call—just this once. That's all he asked for.

His phone pings and on the screen pops up a notification from you—Meet me at Hakdong Park, 7PM.

-

Yoongi fidgets by the swings. His habit of biting his nails resurfacing and he faintly tastes blood as he nibbles on his thumb. He peeps at his phone to check the time and it's not long before it's 7PM. Just a few more minutes...

"Yoongi," you called, voice demure. He wouldn't have heard you if it wasn't so quiet in the park, aside from the cicadas chirping in the background.

Yoongi quickly stands up, but before he could run towards you for a hug, he holds himself back and roots his feet on the sand. Instead, he waits for you to walk towards him. And as you approach him, he wishes you would hold him.

Just this once, he pleads once again.

But unlike his last request, this falls on deaf ears.

You sat down on the swing beside Yoongi. He copies you and sits next to you—mindful that his knees won't touch yours.

He hears you let out a defeated sigh and he was ready to lead the conversation this time, but you speak first.

"I miss you." You turn your head towards him and smile bashfully. As if what left your mouth was something that shouldn't have been let out.

Yoongi can hear his heart beating, melting the bitter feeling you poured on his heart not long ago. "Then why didn't you answer my calls?" He wanted the words he spewed to be pointed, accusing. But that was never him, both of you knew that, unfortunately.

You hum as you scratch your nails in your jeans—a nervous tick of yours that Yoongi learned over the years. He also knows how to quell those nerves and his own hand starts to fidget as he lingers to reach for yours.

"I was afraid of what you would say." There were long spaces of breath between your words, as if unsure.

"You were afraid...of me?" Yoongi confirms. He's left more confused than the last time. He tilts his head to peek at you, but the darkness and shadows cover your face.

"Not exactly. I guess it's more of your words. I had to keep away from you because I was afraid you would change my mind...about the break up."

Yoongi hums and nods. "At first that's why I called you." He wouldn't deny it, because his first thought was to do just that. But as emotions settled and he found himself in a better headspace, he realized he wanted more to understand why you wanted to end things with him. "But now, I just need to know why. At least make me understand where you're coming from."

Keeping his crawling limbs to him, Yoongi clenches and unclenches his hands. He glances at you as you nod and visibly gulp air. He catches the shift in your eyes, and he knows how your mind works overtime. He wonders if you're thinking of an amicable reason to shoo him away or were there just too many reasons to consider that you had to take time and sort your thoughts?

The former has to be it. He always knew he was difficult to love—always lacking. Not enough of this, not enough of that. He thinks he's got your answer, and he thinks he might not be able to take it if he hears it from you—so he prepares to leave.

"I loved you too much," you murmur. Seeming afraid of your confession. Disregarding his earlier doubts, Yoongi stands from the wooden plank. He kneels in front of you and takes your freezing hands between his, bloodied thumb circling your knuckles.

It wasn't a reason he expected nor considered. His confusion must have shone through his face that made you let out a sad smile.

"You really should stop biting your nails." Yoongi watches in slow motion as you take his hand in your palms and lift them to your lips for a soft peck.

-

[ivnxrori]

When Sun and Moon meet - S2 FINALE

Zuko x Fem!WaterBender!Reader Enemies to Lovers

As one of the Princesses of the Northern Water tribe, you were blessed with a gift by the moon. However you were permitted to be allowed to use the gift at all costs. From many hidden waterbending usages, the aftermath of the avatar visiting the Northern Tribe had led to your beginning journey, hiding yourself as a water bender as a princess from the Northern water tribe

Warnings: Arguing, Fighting, Betrayal, mentions of death

Masterlist

҉ * ‧͙ ⋆ ⁺ ༓ ☾ Chapter 11 - Trust to Betrayal

“What are you doing here?” I hissed. “Aren't you part of the fire nation? Couldn't they make an exception even though you were banished?” I asked but no response. “Oh so you're just going to stay quiet huh? What happened to your snappy attitude when we last met?” I shouldn't be asking such questions, knowing I wouldn't get any response from him. “I genuinely thought you came to Ba Sing Se for a change until I saw the drill in the walls with the fire nation logo. I even gave the benefit of the doubt when you were looking at Appa’s missing poster.” I stopped for a moment of realization “That's why you’re here! Once Aang comes here you and your nation can easily catch him”. I sigh in irritation “You're so annoying you know that? I don't even understand why you want the avatar so bad to the point you almost got killed. If your father really does care he wouldn't have banished you. You're lucky that Aang was the one that wanted to save you from the snow storm, the rest of us wanted you dead!” I scoffed “But of course you don't care! You only want your ‘honor’” I mocked. “Then once you go back to the fire nation you will continue with the fire nation war schemes and stand right next to your father in his horrible plans” 

“That's not my plan” Zuko finally speaks up. “Oh wow, so now you finally spoke up” I rolled my eyes. “Then what is your plan Zuko? All you fire nation people are about war and taking over everyone's happiness” “You don't know what you're talking about,” Zuko said out loud. “You said that many times to me before, but I feel like I know enough” I glared at him but sighed heavily. “But really what's the point of me trying to say anything to you.” I sat against the wall leaning my head back trying to keep my anger in check. “I wasn't the one who caused the drill in the walls of Ba Sing Se, it was Azula,” Zuko said. “Azula?” I asked, “My sister,” he answered. Ah, so the girl in the middle of the fake Kyoshi warriors was Azula. I rolled my eyes “So what? It's your sister, same tribe, same blood, same everything” 

“That's not the case…” Zuko sighed as he continued “my sister and I always had different views of everything ever since we were younger. Which led to my banishment with a scar to remind me” He touched his scar. I furrowed my eyebrows in sadness and moved closer to Zuko. “Did your sister have the same mindset as your father by any chance?” I asked softly as he nodded. “Then did you possibly have the same mindset as your mother?” Stupid question indeed.

“My mother left years ago because of the fire nation” Zuko said which made me wince at my unnecessary comment. “Sorry…” I said awkwardly. “I'm sure you’ll find your mother” I put my hand on his shoulder in encouragement. “Thanks” He gratefully said. I took my hand off of his shoulder and thought about my own mother. “My mother died from the fire nation last year, however weirdly enough I can't remember the details even though it was so recent” I shrugged stiffly. “I actually had a dream about her when you…uh hit me to the point I passed out” This turned way more awkward than it should have. Zuko stiffened and croaked out a sorry but I shrugged it off. “She told me not to give up in my dream but I'm still not sure what that means to this day…maybe she knew my sister was going to sacrifice herself to the moon spirit and to tell me not to give up…she wanted me to keep my head up high.” I sway slightly, feeling quite sad that I lost two of my loved ones in such a short period of time. “I'm sorry” Zuko said in sympathy as I shook my head. “It's not your fault…that's actually why I came to Ba Sing Se, not only for me to start new but to get revenge at the guy who killed my sister.” I said, trying to sound more confident. “The person who killed your sister was sent to the spirit world by the Avatar” Zuko said which made my eyes widened. “Oh…well that works too” I said slightly embarrassed. There was a moment of silence till I spoke up again. “Are you still planning on hunting down the Avatar…” I asked, silently praying his answer will be no. “This scar cursed me to chase the avatar forever…but lately I realized I'm free to determine my own destiny, even if I'll never be free from my mark.” Zuko turned around to face away from me. “What if you could be free from your mark?” I said which made him immediately turn around with his eyes widened. “What…?”

“In the Spirit Oasis, the water there is more enhanced which could heal your scar” I explained “When I was younger I was in major pain and no one knew my cure, so my parents took me to the spirit oasis for my moon spirit to heal me. Which is why my hair is white” I pointed to my hair. “I'm sure your scar could possibly be healed in the Spirit Oasis, I could take you there.” I leaned closer to his scar, he closed his eyes as I moved my thumb across his scar. Then I heard a crash from the other side, showing Aang, Katara and the Old man who owned the tea house. “Katara! Aang!” I said running towards them in a hug. They both hugged me back “Thank you for coming to save me” “Of course we would save you Y/N no need to thank us” Katara said as Aang nodded. “Yeah! You're our friend!” Aang added. I smiled softly “Yeah…friends” I turned around to see Zuko irritated once again. The once soft moment was replaced quite fast. “Go help your other friends” The old man said while consoling Zuko. We nodded and ran out. I was following Aang and Katara but I took one last glance at Zuko in worry.

“We gotta find Sokka and Toph,” Katara said as we were running. I heard an electrifying sound and immediately turned around. Aang blocked it with his earth bending while I used my water bending to turn into ice. I looked to see who the attacker was and it was Azula, of course. Katara moved  her water bending to get a direct attack at Azula, a wave of smoke fills the atmosphere until she comes out again. Attempting to hit us with fire, the three of us used waterbending to shield ourselves. Azula landed on a tall rock which Aang was able to break down with his earth bending. Azula landed across from me, pointing her fingers like she was going to use lightning however she didn't know who to hit. Suddenly a blast of fire landed near Aang. From the corner of my eye, I saw Zuko who hesitated on who to hit. But it didn't take long for him to make his decision, shown by using his fire bending to aim at Aang. “Y/N Go up the waterfall and get Sokka and Toph,” Katara said, blocking Azula's attacks. I nodded instantly moving towards the waterfall, dodging Azula's attacks that were specifically made towards me. I lifted myself up with my bending, looking down at the scene feeling disappointed in myself. Looking at Zuko, I once again was a fool to trust him, again. It didn't take long till I was out of the cave.

  ҉   ☾

“Appa! Momo! ” I yelled after finding them both. I had no idea where I was once I managed to get out of the cave. Luckily, I found Appa and Momo together outside. I immediately got on Appa “Yip yip, we need to get to Toph and Sokka” I said which made Appa make a sound of agreement and he started flying. Once we got near the palace, I immediately saw Toph and Sokka with the King and his bear. “Sokka! Toph!” I yelled. “Y/N!” They both yelled back. I got down from the sky bison to get eye to eye level with the two. “Are you okay? Aang got a vision of Katara asking for help for you” Sokka said. “Yeah, it was hailing a lot around the palace” Toph included. “I'm fine but Katara and Aang aren't,” I said quickly. “They’re fighting Azula and Zuko right now” I was panicking, a lot. Last thing I want is one of them dead. “Do you know where they are?” Toph asked as I nodded. “Get on, everyone” I ushered the king and his bear to get on. 

  ҉   ☾

Once we made it to the destination I got off the bison “You guys stay here, it’ll be dangerous to all come together” I said. “Then why did we all come here?” Sokka whined. “It's because Katara needed to make sure you all were safe, and it's not for long. I just have to use my waterbending to get down and to somehow get Aang and Katara up. You guys need to be here for all of us to escape” I explained as they both nodded. I made my way over towards the waterfall and took a deep breath before jumping in. Once I made it down, I saw a horrific scene. It was Katara, crying while holding Aang’s body. I immediately used a splash of water to border Katara and Aang, making sure no one touched them. Coincidentally a wave of fire was shown, the old man came out of nowhere, landing in front of Katara and Aang. “You’ve got to get out of here! I’ll hold them all as long as I can” he says to both of them, making Katara nod and carrying Aang to get out of here. “Katara!” I yelled out making her look at me in somewhat relief but I could tell she was on the verge of crying again. I pull her closer towards me and make a water platform beneath our feet, helping us up. Before we reached the top I made sure to glare at Zuko, and he saw me, glaring at him. “Just as I thought you wanted a new start” I said, making sure he heard before disappearing.

  ҉   ☾

All of us were able to get above from Ba Sing Se, it wasn't as happy or uplifting as it was before. Instead it was depressing and anxiety wrenching. We stared at Katara, pulling the spirit oasis water out of the bottle to heal Aang. Internally praying he will come back to life again. Once the spirit of water disappeared in Aang, Katara couldn't help but hug him even tighter, crying. I looked down in disappointment at how everything turned out and so did everyone around me. Till a glow of a familiar arrow and breath indicated he was in fact alive. Everyone smiled happily while Katara laid him down and hugged him even tighter. Thank the spirits. “The earth kingdom… has fallen” Said the earth king with his head down, in disappointment and guilt. I felt bad for him. Thinking just as he saved his kingdom, it broke down once again.

A few hours go by, the cold breeze hitting my face making my skin feel like ice. It feels nostalgic, it feels like my home…northern tribe. I looked at Katara, still holding Aang in her arms. I decided to speak up “I'm sorry Katara…” I said shakily. “What do you have to be sorry about? You saved me.” She whispered, looking towards me in worry. I shook my head “I knew about Zuko being in Ba Sing Se the whole time” I admitted. I felt everyone suck in a breath which made me internally wince. “I met him here and talked to him but I didn't do anything because…I-” My voice cracked “I thought he must have changed…if I weren't so naive then…I would have caused any of you guys trouble”. I looked down, ashamed of my actions. Katara’s hand meets mine “It's fine Y/N…I'm just happy all of us have made it out”. I look up to everyone nodding. I dropped my shoulders and continued to look across from me, the night cloudy sky…

Season 2 END

<- Back - Next ->

a/n: WOAH lots of Zuko today and betrayal lmao. BUT S2 HAS OFFICIALLY ENDED. Not 100% sure when season 3 will start up, I already started it however I have ap exams soon for school, so I wont have much time :(. But I wont be gone for a while. Make sure yall take care of yourself and have a nice day! :)

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taglist: @luvkvni @katovano @karmaswitch @someonesmember @velvet-spider @sh3sa1dwhat @nerdisthenewcool @meiraloves2dmen @fqnfics101 @iluvme547 @leaderwon @yukihatesreoyo @heart4hees @4l3x1s @kkissaku @corpsebridenightamare @newjellis @fatkish@pbeckn26@jasminesacademia @kyo-kyo1

[yume-yuurei]

Books are but a fantasy

A quick historical fantasy kinda scenario, based on yet another (old and silly) dream of mine.

One-sided (or not...?) King!Malleus × Criminal!Reader, MC is gn and not a very good person (because why do all yuus have to be nice??), written without any serious intentions and simply out of boredom. Will proofread tomorrow.

You were dragged into a small carriage in cuffs. Thick metal bars on windows and heavy magic-induced locks, as well as a pair of royal guards that had caught you, were separating you from freedom. You were ambushed a while after departing from another small forgotten village you had found refuge in. Briar Valley knights have always been diligent - a bother to escape from. Having built yourself a reputation of a self-proclaimed protector of  by committing crimes against nobility. Bitter and full of resentment, many of your victims filed piles complains, all sent to the royal Court, some even to the High Judge and king himself. In a short time your presence in a local town was reported to guards, which resulted in a long and tiring chase halfway across the country. There's not much one magicless human could do against a line of armed warriors - eventually, you were caught.

After a long while of shaking, stumbling and tripping over rocks, the carriage enters Royal grounds through massive gothic gates, rising high into the darkening sky, bringing the hour of judgment closer.

"I know it's not the first time I say that, Your Highness, but, for the Sevens, isn't it time for you to at least consider starting a family? The whole kingdom is waiting for you to secure your kind and produce an heir."

"I am considering it. But the right person has yet to come into my life."

"Royals and nobles from both our and other countries have-"

"I wish to have nothing with them."

"You can't just wait for a 'right person' to run into you like in your books, Draconia!... Stop sulking, and don't you look at me with those eyes - I am a warrior, a general, not a nanny to wipe at your tears."

The young king was just as stubborn as his mother used to be. Lilia, the king's advisor, used-to-be war general, adored him like his own son, having raised him after the past king and queen's unexpected passing. Mind young like that of a fresh teenage boy, Malleus dreamt of love straight out of a fairytale: requited love, long passionate talks under the moon, walks in the garden hand in hand. Nothing short of it - that's what he desired. But, after over a century of waiting, after dozens and possibly hundreds of rejected proposals (each time for different reasons), all hope was lost on him. Now, the fae have lowered their expectations, ready to accept any outcome, only if that meant they'll live long enough to see and celebrate birth of a new Draconia.

...if any regular person walked in right now, they would not recognize a royal in this pouting heap, covered by two heavy blankets and surrounded by silk pillows. Sounds coming from the pile were also more of a wounded dog than a fearsome ruler. With a deep sigh, Lilia walked out the king's chambers to ask a maid to fetch three servings of 'ice cream' - a treat he knew Malleus has come to love and indulge in during times of bad mood.

Still bound at hands, but now led along the cold castle walls with two tall guards at both sides, you reach another set of doors, these being, surprisingly, even more majestic and rich than the ones you saw a dozen steps before. They open by themselves, enveloping the hallway in an angelic blinding light, seeping through the gap and crawling closer to your feet. The guards urge you to step inside.

A trial is... going to start. Very soon. Any moment now. Definitely in the meantime.

Stood on dark emerald carpet with silver embroidery, you steal glances at your surroundings: noble faes and other residents of the Briar Valley have come to witness the judgment that the king will bestow upon you... but he hasn't present. His two loyal retainers stand still as stone near a throne, but even their faces are not void of confusion and anxiety.

Hushed whispers get interrupted by a short man with a ridiculous haircut barging in, quickly regaining composure while dragging an annoyed man - you recognize him as The Malleus Draconia - by a sleeve. Nobody seems to pay this scene much mind, welcoming their lord with a round of applause.

Reciting all your crimes has taken up a great while, to the point where a silver-haired knight, placed at the left of Draconia, has dozed off. What's interesting is that the king cared enough to hear you out, despite many nobles voicing out their protests and outright demanding an undelayed public execution.

"Tell me, child of man, do you find yourself guilty? Have you got any remorse?"

"I do not. What I've done was nothing short of just, as all I did was punish the greedy and save life of those in need. I have got no respect for ones that only have money and titles to be proud of."

All is said with determination burning in your eyes, stance strong, but not aggressive. The view sparkles a sense of admiration (and a hint of familiarity...) in the king's heart.

"So, being but a fragile human, you are ready to face any dangers, if only it means you could right all the world's wrongs and stay true to yourself?"

"Absolutely."

Fearless, bold, righteous- just what he wanted to see.

"Unchain them. Lilia, order the maids and butlers to prepare a guestroom. I hereby dismiss all charges against this child of man."

Seemingly proud of his decision and ignorant to the rampage he left behind, not limited to bewildered and outright condemning looks on his retainers' faces, Draconia departs from the Court Hall.

In no time, you were housed, bathed and dressed in a fancy attire with choking-tight corset. Before the maids could cake your face in heavy powder, you usher them out, sliding down the door and breathing out in relief. Though you are given no break, with how soon the door gets broken down by a swift kick from a menacing mint-haired knight. He insists (to say it gently) on accompanying you to dining hall, as "Lord Malleus is requesting your presence! It is my duty to make sure a filthy criminal like yourself will not run away and cause more trouble than you already have!"

The knight, Sebek, pushes you into the dining hall, locking doors shut right after. In this big room, it's only the two of you now.... And general Lilia.

During the whole dinner Lilia stares you down, taking apart your words, gestures and overall behavior, trying to come to some conclusion of his own. At one point you swear you hear him bend down to Draconia's ear and whisper 'THIS is who you want to choose?? And here I was sure sophisticated tastes run in your family...' But the man only swats at his advisor, leaning forward, head supported by palms, to have a better look at you.

"I must admit, I find your courage quite... admirable. Not a single soul has ever been so bold with me - not without being turned to ash right after, at least. You seem to be... different, in a way."

"...thank you?"

The next hour or so is dedicated to Draconia- ("Call me Malleus", he insisted) passionately rambling about his obsessive love for gargoyles and ancient architecture, and you having to listen, nodding along and adding a rare "Ooh" and "I see" as you pick food in your plate. Nevertheless, Malleus seems content, biding you farewell with a pleased smile and softened eyes.

.

.

.

Few days have passed in entertaining Malleus with strolls, talks and privste tea parties. Now is a good opportunity to set the next part of plan in motion. Having gathered gossip from local residents, you found a passage, leading to the secret royal library, holding valuablr books and powerful artifacts. Among them is a book you're looking for. The room is located on one of the highest floors, which forces you to walk various sets of steps in an uncomfortable outfit - but all is worth getting that book in your disposal. You find it among many other books, secured by magical seals. Good thing such spells are useless against magicless humans.

.

.

.

A week was all you needed to bring the plan to its climax. Dressed in Sunset Savanna's military uniform, epaulets speaking of one of the highest of ranks, you watch the remainders of Briar Valley warriors scatter, left in little numbers. As the scene of burned grass and collapsed stone walls quietens down, Lord Kingscholar, exhausted from the long battle but still standing, followed by a few of his knights, healers and servants, makes his appearance. You kneel before your King, head lowered in respect.

"Rise".

Straightforward and bold, just how he always is.

"Are you pleased with my work, your Highness? Now there's space for a castle of your own, and as the Capital has fallen, the rest of the country will soon follow."

He amuses you with a short chat, faint hints of pride for placing trust in you. Any and all concern about his state is brushed off with a scoff.

As the King later walks off to plan on what to make of his new land, you make your way back to the partly destroyed throne room. There, on the rough charred floor, in a pathetic heap laid Malleus. No longer will anyone fear the fallen king, rendered to a pitiful state, worn out from being forced into an unfair battle. Your shadow falls over his shaking form.

"How curious. Just yesterday, I remember seeing you on the throne, so high and mighty. Now, I believe you'll make a fine souvenir - my Lord allowed me to take one back home, as an extra reward for a flawless execution of his will. You've manage to captivate me quite a bit, you know?"

[thehardkandy]

Travelling back home tomorrow hoping for a smooth groove

[semiotomatics]

welp

[ace-wangxian]

Absolutely buckwild dreams I've been having but the one that sticks to me the most is the time I dreamt I was Bingqiu's wedding planner and was following an inconsolable Luo Binghe around on the verge of tears myself because we couldn't find Shen Qingqiu.

The second dream involved Hualian and myself in a cave and I really did not see how I was going to get out of there alive so I just woke up

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

it should be studied the way i immediately start crying after masturbating like girl where is the serotonin i was promised

[myriadsystem]

.

[esyra]

After the hospital bombing, I finally heard back from my grandmother and confirmed that several of my relatives were murdered by Israeli bombing. Seven of them, to be precise. Three are still going, including her. We've been talking constantly ever since.

Asked if it was possible to head south, and was told they did but were also bombed there. So they decided to go back home, in Zeitoun. Their home was bombed and they were pulled out of the rumble, then driven by ambulances to the al-Ahli Arab Hospital. There were people in every corner. Gazans sheltering, sleeping on the floor. Gazans dying on the floor, waiting for beds.

Four were declared dead on arrival, three were in need of surgery and other three were just bandaged. Then, a bomb was dropped in the parking lot that made parts of the ceiling collapse, like Dr. Ghassan Abu Sittah reported in that horrific conference/interview. Those in need of surgery died.

By the way, just in case you didn't know: the Church of Saint Porphyrius, the third oldest in history, bombed by Israel a few days back, was located near the hospital.

When looking for new shelter, they saw schools with signs hanging outside, "We can't take any more families." They met families, sympathetic but already sheltering too many people. They're now staying in an apartment building they found empty. Sleeping in the corner of the living room. If the family comes back, they'll apologize and leave.

Told me she was saving her phone battery for when the bombing stopped, and she had to ask for help to rebuilt the neighborhood. But she doesn't think it's gonna stop anymore. The ones still with her are mute most of the time, like they're saving energy, but she feels lonely and wanted to talk. There's no internet and to connect to WhatsApp, people are buying "a card from the supermarket, there's a password and username." Not sure what she meant. Still, the internet is inconsistent and won't load neither videos or images nor pages, so she doesn't know what's happening on the outside world.

Told her there were a lot of people protesting to stop the genocide, she replied, "The bombings are getting worse by the day." The bombing yesterday was the worst she ever witnessed. The entire neighborhood is infested with the smell of death, of decomposing bodies. Bodies are piling up in the streets and she's not sure if it's because they ran out of places to store them, but most of them are in bags. The smoke of the bombings hide the blue sky—she hasn't seen the clouds for a while.

Asked if I could share their pictures, names and dreams with people and was told, of which I partly agree, "they're not entertainment." If anyone genuinely cared, they would be alive—I'd argue there are people who do care, but I'm not gonna lecture her pain. And they don't deserve to be used to fulfill someone's sick fantasy. Told me to remember what some Israelis do with pictures of dead Palestinians. And I do.

For those of you who are not familiar, many times before settlers got together to celebrate the murder of Palestinians. For one, in 2015, Israeli settlers set a house in Duma, West Bank on fire. An 18-month old baby, Ali Dawbsheh, was burnt alive. Both parents later died of wounds and only a 5-year-old, Ahmad, survived, although severely injured.

Two celebrations of their murder are widely known, one at a wedding and others outside the court in which two were indicted for the terrorist attack. In the wedding, guests stabbed a photo of the toddler, Ali, while others waved guns, knives and Molotov cocktails. Israel's Minister of National Security, Itamar Ben-Gvir, was present.

That's what happens in an apartheid. Palestinians are so abused by authorities that their "innocent civilians" come to accept the brutality as necessary or are desensitized by our suffering. After all, it's been 75 years—get used to it!

So I won't risk the image of my loved ones, in fear they are used in these kinds of depravity. I will say, though, the world lost a young footballer. Lost a female writer and an aspiring ballerina. Lost a kind father, who was also a great cook, and a loving mother that enjoyed sewing and other types of handicraft art. Lost a math teacher and a child that wanted to become one.

People think Israel is testing new weapons on them. There's civilians arriving at the hospital with severe burns, which they thought was from white phosphorus, but apparently the pattern is different from the one caused by white phosphorus. It's widely believed Israel tests weapons in Palestinians.

Jeff Halper, author of War Against the People, a book on Israel's arms and surveillance technology industries, said: "Israel has kept the occupation because it's a laboratory for weapons."

They've ran out of drinkable water and the "aid" Biden sent was only for the South of Gaza and no fuel, for hospitals, was allowed in. Many shelves in the supermarket are empty. She said many are convinced that if they don't die from the bombing, they'll die from starvation or dehydration, or whatever disease will develop from the dirty water they're drinking.

Told me all people do now is pray, cry and die. Told me she hopes West Bank is spared. Told her Israel bombed a mosque in West Bank and dozens of Palestinians in West Bank are being murdered by settlers, so she bided me goodbye.