#I think I also need to remember how much has happened to me in this calendar year alone

[beomboomboom]

Cheater

genre: fluff, established relationship, crack

pairing: Jeonghan x reader

summary: Jeonghan knows his every kiss has the ability to steal your breath away and make you forget absolutely everything but him. And of course he'll use this to his full advantage, how could he not?

warnings: a little bit of swearing, kissing?

note: writer's block is a struggle 😭😭 idk why it took me like a literal month to write this. If you have any recs or asks feel free to send them to me! I'm in desperate need of some inspiration 😭. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this fic!!

Deciding to play a game of Monopoly with your boyfriend was definitely a mistake.

For one, you were losing at an embarrassingly fast pace. Your character having landed on Jeonghan's properties way too many times to count, forcing you to fork over money you didn't even have in the first place. The money in the bank was also suspiciously low, the stacks of bills smaller than you initially remembered.

Meanwhile, Jeonghan was doing amazing, much to your distaste. He didn't have much money, but at the same time he somehow conjured up some whenever he needed it. Everything was going well for him—suspiciously well.

"Your turn," Jeonghan announces with a confident smirk as he passes the dice over to you.

"I got this," you mutter to yourself while praying to whatever god is out there that luck be your on side for once. Jeonghan watches with a mischievous but fond look on his face; it's adorable the way you're so invested in a game that was doomed for you from the start.

You toss the dice out onto the table, groaning immediately when you see the result.

You landed on Jeonghan's property.

Again.

Meaning you're the one forking over money to Jeonghan, the one person who needs the money the least, as you sank closer and closer to straight-up bankruptcy. Jeonghan's hand immediately shoots out, a smug smirk is plastered on his face, silently demanding you to hand over what little money you have left.

"Your turn," you grumble, handing over the dice to Jeonghan with a defeated sigh.

Jeonghan rolls the dice. He's so close to winning, and he knows it. You're on the edge of bankruptcy and all he needs to do is push you a little more. All he needs to do is survive a few more turns and the win will be his. Jeonghan is confident he's going to win.

Jeonghan's confident smirk is quickly wiped off his face when he sees where his character lands after rolling the dice.

Jeonghan isn't going to win anytime soon.

He's going to fucking jail.

"HAH," you yell with a triumphant grin. "GO TO JAIL YOU SUCKER"

Jeonghan's mouth opens then closes without a sound; this was not something he anticipated happening. "Fine, i'll pay my way out," he finally responds after a moment, quickly returning to his confident and calm composure.

"If you want to pay your way out, then hand over the money," you say with a smirk, already knowing it's game over for him. "I'm kidding, that wasn't even an option, you only have 20 dollars left."

You watch with a laugh as Jeonghan's eyes widen in realization at his unfortunate luck. He was so close—so close to winning, and in a flash he wasn't. "Hah, better luck ne-"

You're cut off when Jeonghan smashes his lips against yours, taking your breath away. The monopoly game fades into the background and all you can think about is Jeonghan. Jeonghan. Jeonghan. His soft lips on yours, his gentle hands caressing your face, his mischievous eyes memorizing every inch of your face.

Then, just as quickly as it starts, it ends.

"Okay, here's the money. Now get me out of jail," Jeonghan says with a sweet smile after breaking off the kiss, 50 dollars suddenly appearing in the palm of his hand.

"Hey-," you shout in accusation, the realization that Jeonghan has been stealing from the bank this entire time dawning to you. "You cheater-"

Before you can say anymore, you're cut off with another kiss from Jeonghan, taking away your breath like his kisses always do.

After all, it's Jeonghan, your cute and mischievous but cheater of a boyfriend. Of course his every kiss will take away your breath and make you forget absolutely everything but him, and of course he'll use this to his full advantage.

"I won," Jeonghan whispers with a smile into your ear, smiling wider when you don't respond and simply press another gentle kiss onto his lips.

[yoonguurt]

Summary: Spring brings with it the need for a change. You're in a writing rut and that just can't happen right now. You decided to spend a few months with your aunt at her massive garden estate. for the first time in 10 years. Dreams of a boy you don't remember become a nightly thing. Who is this boy?

Pairing: Hongjoong x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, fantasy

AU/Trope: long lost friends to lovers, a twist on The Secret Garden

Word count: 12,295

Warnings: parental death, themes of curses, talks of insanity, mentions of kidnapping, a horrible old woman, threats. I think that's all but it's also 2 am so brain a little fuzzy. NSFW warnings under the cut

A/N: This is for the Language of Flowers event for @cultofdionysusnet I really did put everything I have into this fic. It has taken me a while and I will probably revisit this later since I didn't get everything I wanted in here. Thank you to @kwanisms for making the title banner and reading bits and pieces of this. @anyamaris @pyeonghongrie @justhere4kpop @stardragongalaxy also helped me with reading some of this. Thank you guys for putting up with the screenshots and eye emojis.

Smut warnings: unprotected sex (do not do, I will hunt you down), fingering, dry humping, so much kissing, Hongjoong is king of aftercare, virgin Hongjoong, there's no power dynamic here, they’re just soft

Walking into the courtyard of your aunt’s estate was like walking back into a long lost memory. You spent many summers here as a child and while it had been some of the best times of your life, as you had gotten older, the trips stopped. Once you began to transcend into your older teen years, the allure of the massive mansion and grounds lost its appeal. You stopped coming when you were 15. You remember that there was a specific reason why, you just couldn’t remember what that reason was. 

You closed the large iron gate behind you, listening as it made a loud creak. The gate was covered in rust, which was unusual since your aunt was a very meticulous woman. She had to have everything in perfect condition at all times. At least, that was how she was the last time you had seen her 10 years ago. From the phone call you shared, she seemed to still be the same woman she had always been. She may be older, but she still has the same fiery spirit she’s always had. You guess that was where you got it from. 

In all honesty, you have never been overly close with your aunt. You loved her, sure, but she was kind of a mean woman. She was quite a few years younger than your father, 11 to be exact, so she wasn’t elderly when you were a child. She seemed to be a little miserable your entire life, though you were too young to realize that at the time. Thinking back on it now, you realized that your aunt had any possession she could ever want, but you had never seen her have a companion of any sort. No women from the nearby town ever came to visit, and you had never seen a man, other than Steven the gardener, ever pass through the gates. You knew that no one needed anyone of the opposite sex to make their lives better, but you also knew that she must live a lonely life.

The real reason you fell in love with coming to stay the summers was the grounds. The estate was massive. Many times you had spent all day wandering around the grounds, just exploring everything your heart yearned for. You knew you had a favorite spot when you were younger, but its location was another thing slipping your mind. You’d have to make a mental note to try and find your special spot.

The old door is silent as you open in and step inside. That’s one thing that hasn’t changed. A quick glance around the foyer lets you know that not much inside the house has changed either. There are still the same two blue and white flowered vases standing on either side of the door, holding the same kind of lilies they had always held. The small table that held the rotary phone was still in the same place at the base of the stairs, rotary phone still sat atop. Even the curtains were the same. A light sage in color, small embroidered flowers running down the fabric. 

Flowers were always a large part of the decor of your aunt’s home. Each guest room in the house was themed with a different flower. There were numerous gardens spread throughout the grounds, some with mixed plants and some that only grew a particular plant. You knew flowers were really important to your aunt, though every time your curious child tendencies come forward, she would only give a stiff smile and tell you that flowers were beautiful and a woman of her standing deserved to have beauty all around her. Looking back, you can see how forced her smile had been.

“Aunt Helen!” Your voice rang throughout the empty home, surprising even yourself at just how loud your voice carried. You had been told to come right in and make yourself at home, but it didn’t feel right. Not only had you not been here in ten years after abruptly deciding that you didn’t want to return for the summer of your 16th year, but you had also called her out of nowhere to ask if you could spend some time there. Her side of the line had been silent for a few moments before she told you that there shouldn’t be an issue with you coming, but it still felt like she wasn’t sure about her decision. 

You hear footsteps coming from the top of the stairs and you turn to face the stairway with a smile. Helen comes around the corner, her face showing no emotion as she looks down at you. “Y/N. How nice to see you, dear.” Her voice is pleasant enough, though her face is still blank. You guess you must have hurt her by your sudden refusal to come back during your teen years, and then surprised her with an equally sudden request to return. You try to shake the thought from your head, making sure to keep your smile. “Thank you so much for letting me spend the next few months here. I know it was a sudden request, but I think it will really do me some good.”

The last year of your life had been hectic to say the least. You moved from your home on the outskirts of the city to the city proper to be closer to publishers. You had always wanted to be a writer. You could remember always having notebooks full of stories as a child. You had hid them away in any room you could find. By the time you turned 16, you had probably filled 50 notebooks. Like many children, the stories were fantastical and some were nonsense, but it was the process of writing that you enjoyed. Bringing whatever idea that had popped into your head to life was an addiction to you. 

Helen’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, making you focus your attention back on the aging lady who was now making her way down the stairs. “It’s no problem at all, dear. There’s no one here but me and Steven, so there’s plenty of room.” Her feet stop in front of you as she lifts her arms toward you for a hug. You quickly drop your bags, scrambling to return her gesture as quickly as you can. The hug is an awkward one. Arms are around middles, but there is a gap between bodies. To anyone looking from a distance, it would seem as if you two don’t even know each other. But, at this time in your life, that’s essentially true. The hug breaks apart almost as soon as it begins, both of you taking a step back to put some distance between you. 

“I’m sure you’ve had a long trip. Go ahead and choose your room and get settled. Though, I’m sure you’ll choose the gardenia room. It always was your favorite.” A smile creeps to your lips at the mention of your childhood choice of room. She was right about it. That room had been your favorite. “Do you still have the gardenia garden, Aunt Helen?” The look on her face takes you aback a little. For a split second, she looks angry. She quickly changes her expression to one of confusion. “Oh dear, there’s never been a garden dedicated solely to gardenias. However, there are some planted in one of the rose gardens. Maybe that is what you’re thinking of.” It’s your turn to be confused. You distinctly remember playing in a garden full of nothing but gardenias. 

You don’t want to argue, there is a chance that you created that memory as one of your stories, so you give her a nod as you tell her that you’re going to go get settled. You grab your bags, though you didn’t bring many, the three that you do have are large and filled to the brim. Making your way up the stairs is a little tricky since there are 20 of them in total, but you manage. Turning left at the top of the stairs, you pick up your pace a little, excited to get to your room. It sits at the end of the hall on the right side. You take a deep breath as you set your bags down to open the door, making sure to open it slowly so you get the wave of nostalgia that you know will come with seeing the room for the first time in years. 

Seeing the room is like a breath of fresh air. It feels like coming home after a long day of work, knowing that relaxation and happiness are waiting for you. It almost makes you want to cry. You leave your bags at the door for a moment, you just need to feel the room first. There are fresh gardenias in a small, white vase on the bedside table. That has always been one of your favorite smells and it makes your heart flutter when it hits your nose. The king size bed has the same white and green bed set it’s always had. The handmade quilt, certainly not made by your aunt, is the color of grass and has gardenias sewn into the fabric. You run your hand over the top of the quilt, memories of spending nights completely enveloped in the warmth of the fabric as you write in one of the many notebooks you always brought with you.

There’s an oak writing table that stands in front of the large bay window that overlooks an area that looks different than the rest of the estate. It looks more run down, like it hadn’t been taken care of in years. You could have sworn that it was once a beautiful garden that you had spent much of your time in. It hits you that you seem to remember that patch of land being your favorite spot, but it doesn’t seem like that is true. 

You turn your attention to the wallpaper. It gives a little more color to the room. The background of the paper is a soft yellow while images of gardenia bushes cover the rest. All perfectly spaced out, just like you know Helen had wanted. You finally decided to grab your bags and start to put your things away, a little more pep in your step. You’re more than excited to be back in this room, where it seems like all of your story ideas seemed to have formed. You feel as if you had the greatest idea for a story while staying here over those summers, but it’s just another thing you can’t remember. Perhaps it will come back with time. You certainly need it to come back.

After all of your things are put away, you make your way back down the stairs to familiarize yourself with the house again. You’re sure that it will all come flooding back, but you’d rather get the learning process over now to prevent any future issues. The sitting room is off to the left of the stairs, through a doorway, the dining room is off to the right. Deciding to look through the left side of the house first, you make your way into the sitting room. The same old couches and chairs adorn the room, though they still look like they’ve never been used. You guess that there’s a chance that they haven’t. The fireplace stands tall and clean, another thing you’re sure Helen has never used. There are multiple tables placed around the room, all made with dark, polished wood. 

To the left there’s another doorway, this one leading into the sunroom. Wicker chairs are placed a few feet from each other, a small table in between each chair. You remember spending your time here when the rain prevented you from your outdoor adventures. You’d sit on the floor since the chairs were always uncomfortable, writing your heart out. You sure wish you could find where those notebooks had gone. The back half of the first floor is Steven’s quarters. He’s always been a nice man, but he keeps to himself and you respect that.

Making your way back through the sitting room, you take a second to look out of the small window that sits on the front of the house. Gardens fill your field of view. More gardens than you ever thought a person could have. You feel certain that Helen has a garden for every flower she could possibly grow. 

The dining room houses a table long enough to sit around 14 people, though you know nowhere near that many people have even been in the house. Like everything else, it’s a dark, polished wood. Helen is nothing but consistent in her design choices. The kitchen sits behind a set of double doors, which are painted a pristine white, no doubt kept clean by the lack of traffic. Helen has to have a maid that comes and cleans at some point, there’s no way she’d ever stoop so low as to clean herself. You already know what the kitchen will look like, large stoves and ovens that could cook meals for an obscene amount of people. Your watch tells you that it will be dark soon so you put off your plan of going out to the gardens until tomorrow. 

Helen is nowhere to be seen, though you aren’t surprised. She’s always been a mysterious woman, keeping to herself much like Steven. A rumbling from your stomach lets you know that you should probably eat, which means that you have to actually venture into the kitchen. Opening the doors, you’re surprised to find a portly woman rummaging through some pans. “Oh. I didn’t realize someone was in here. Usually Steven is the only staff that stays here at the mansion.” Your voice seems to startle the woman, causing her to hit her head on the cabinet she was looking in. She lets out a groan as she rubs the back of her head. “Fuck! Shit! Damn! I am so sorry!” You aren’t sure if you mean to curse, but it happens anyway. The lady turns to face you, a bright smile on her face. “It’s ok, really. I probably would have done that even if you hadn’t startled me.” The giggle she lets out after speaking is infectious, making you giggle along with her. “I’m Julia.” You take her outstretched hand and give it a firm shake. “I’m Y/N. Helen is my aunt.” 

You watch as Julia’s expression sours and you’re half expecting it to bounce back, but it doesn’t. “Didn’t know that mean, old broad had family.” She immediately seems to realize what she said since her eyes go wide and she looks a little panicked. “Oh, shoot! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that. Ms. Helen is lovely.” Her nervous giggle and her flustered state makes you smile. “Hey, you’re the one that works here and spends more time here than I do. Your opinion of her is probably more accurate than mine. I haven’t seen her since I was 15.” She heaves a sigh of relief at your blatant uncaring attitude towards her unkind words about your aunt. “Whew. Thought I really made a mess of things there. Can I get you something to eat?” You give her a shake of your head, telling her that you were just refamiliarizing yourself with the house before you head up to your room. She gives you a little nod and a smile, telling you that she’ll be heading home soon, but she’ll be back the next morning for breakfast. 

The bed in the gardenia room looks like heaven as you walk through the door. Maybe the trip hit you harder than you expected or maybe it’s just being back here, but your eyes are suddenly heavy and all you want is to sleep. No alarm, no designated time to wake up, just sleep as long as your body needs. You take your time changing into your pajamas and washing your face and brushing your teeth before climbing between the sheets and stretching out. It hits you that you haven’t let your mother know that you arrived safely, so you pull out your phone to type out a quick text. Annoyance comes over you as you look at the screen. No service, of course. You should have known, you are in the middle of nowhere after all. You make the decision to call her from Helen’s phone tomorrow. You wiggle a little, making yourself comfortable and set your phone back on the bedside table, not even bothering to charge it. Flicking the lamp off, you quickly fall into a sleep filled with dreams of a boy with a dazzling smile. 

You wake up feeling more rested than you have felt in years. The sun is already high in the sky when you crawl out of bed and shuffle to the bathroom. You settle for a simple sundress to wear for the day, grabbing a cardigan just in case you get a chill. Today, you explore the gardens. Breakfast is being put away when you make your way into the dining room. Luckily, Julia spots you and greets you with a smile and a wave. “Morning, sunshine. I saved you a plate. I put it in the microwave for you.” You release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, your stomach growling at the mention of food. You follow her into the kitchen, reaching into the microwave to grab the plate of blueberry pancakes and bacon and involuntarily let out a moan. “These are my favorite. How did you know?” Julia gives you a sly smile. “A certain gardener told me.” Steven? There’s no way he remembered that. You haven’t seen him in years. The look on your face must give your thoughts away. “That man remembers everything. It’s insane, really. So, what are your plans for the day?”

The sundress was a great choice. The weather is wonderful. It’s not too hot, not too cold, the perfect balance fornthe spring. There’s a light breeze blowing, enough to keep you cool, but not make you cold. It’s the perfect day for exploring. You stand by the steps, looking around trying to figure out where to go first. After some thought, you decided to start with the daisy garden. It took some time for you to orient yourself, but you managed more quickly than you thought you would, though most of the layout seemed like muscle memory to you. 

The daisies were off to the left of the grounds, tall hedges sounding the garden. That was something universal with the gardens. Every garden had hedges all the way around it, Helen’s way of making sure that to be able to fully see the garden, you had to actually enter the garden. Every hedge was neatly trimmed, Steven’s doing you’re sure. Taking your time, you slowly maneuvered your way through the garden. Daisies of every color surrounded you, some you were sure were some sort of hybrid or something. Helen seemed to have flowers in colors you had never seen before. There was a patch of what looked like a peach color, and it honestly took your breath away.

In the center of the garden, there was a stone bench that gave a good view of the hedge lion that stood in front of you. You weren’t sure you’d ever not be amazed by Steven’s gardening skills. Every garden seemed to be like it came right out of a fairy tale. The thought of why Helen never opened the grounds to onlookers crossed your mind as you stared at the beauty of the daisy garden, but you quickly dismissed it. Helen was a selfish woman, you wouldn’t dream of denying that. There was no way she would share the possession most dear to her with anyone that she wasn’t related to. You also weren’t sure anyone would come. Your aunt had a bit of a reputation for being a rude woman. 

A memory of going to town on your last summer here came to the forefront of your mind. Helen had taken you to town with her for some reason or another. She rarely made trips into town so you had been excited for the journey. Everyone seemed to move out of the way as Helen walked by. At the time, you hadn’t thought much of it, assuming that they were just being polite. Thinking back on it now, it seemed like they had been afraid of her. It was like they were living in fear of even being perceived by her. 

You had heard them whispering, and if Helen had heard she hadn’t let on. You hadn’t been able to make out much of what they had been saying, mostly just ‘witch’ and ‘old Mrs. Kim.’ That brought back another memory. On your rare trips into town, you had heard old Mrs. Kim mentioned numerous times. Mostly when mothers were disciplining their children for being out late. “I told you to be back here by dusk! Do you want me to end up like old Mrs. Kim?” You hadn’t been, and still weren’t, sure what that meant. Other times, it had been when two women were talking, usually one insinuating that the other was crazy. “You’re acting like old Mrs. Kim, you need to get your head on straight.” You made a mental note to ask Helen who Mrs. Kim had been.

The sun was starting to be a bit much for you, though it wasn’t unbearably hot, you were starting to get a bit uncomfortable. Heaving yourself off of the bench, you made your way back through the garden, still taking your time. The entrance to the garden gave you another flash of memory. A vision of you running as fast as you could, white dress flowing with each step you made. You couldn’t have been more than 9. There was a smile on your face, and it made you smile just seeing the memory. Past you ran towards the run down part of the grounds, but the memory faded as you reached your destination. You shook your head as the image of yourself disappeared, your feet automatically carrying you back to the house. You’d make it to investigate the dilapidated garden. Eventually.

Climbing the stairs to the front porch, the urge to sit in one of the rocking chairs hit you. You smiled to yourself before making your way inside and to the kitchen. You were sure Julia must have made some tea or lemonade, maybe both. Pushing the doors to the kitchen open, the smell of food invaded your nostrils and you gave a pleased hum. “You took longer than I thought you would. It's been about 3 hours.” That explains the sun. You gave her a toothy grin as you made your way to the fridge. “Any chance you have tea or lemonade in here?” The woman gave you a smirk before she spoke. “Both.” You knew it.

Planting yourself in one of the rocking chairs, you sipped your drink. The mix of tea and lemonade was as refreshing and you had hoped. Your thoughts wandered without control. Who had you been running to? Your mind drifted back to the dream you had the night before. The boy with the dazzling smile. Who was he? He seemed so familiar to you, but you couldn't quite place where you knew him from. Maybe he had been a playmate from town. But then again, that didn't make any sense. You were barely in town as a child and even when you were, you never spoke to anyone.

The creaking of the door brought you out of your thoughts. You turned, expecting Julia to walk through, perhaps taking a small break while the food was in the oven. Instead, Steven's form greeted you. “Steven! It's been a long time, how have you been?” Your voice seemed to startle the man since his head whipped in your direction, eyes a little wide. He relaxed once he realized that you were the one speaking. “It's good to see you again, Miss Y/N.” Your face scrunched at the title. He had always called you that and you had always hated it.

“I've told you a thousand times, just call me Y/N. Miss Y/N makes me feel old and like you're below me or something. Helen may like that, but I'm not Helen.” Steven gave you a soft smile as he made his way to sit in the chair to your left. “No can do, Miss Y/N. I'm a gentleman with manners.” The statement made you laugh and give him a playful swat on the arm. “The most gentleman to ever gentleman, Steven.”

The two of you sat in silence for a while, enjoying each other's presence. Steven had never been the most talkative, but he had always been comforting. He listened to your childish ramblings all those years ago, nodding his head and gasping when you said something dramatic. He was a friend to you and you loved him for that. 

It was Steven who finally broke the silence, surprisingly. “It sure has been quite lonely without having your visits, Miss Y/N. Glad to have you back. The gardens need you.” You gave him a bright smile, though you were sure that the gardens were thriving in his perfectly capable hands. “Steven, these gardens need no one but you. They're only this beautiful because of the time and care you put into them.” The look on his face was a little somber as he spoke again. “I appreciate it, Miss Y/N, but you and your heart are more needed than you realize. But you will remember in time.” With that, he stood and walked off into the grounds, leaving you rather confused.

The sun was starting to set by the time you went back into the house. Your stomach was starting to growl, and you were sure dinner was close to being ready, if it wasn't already finished. Helen was descending the stairs as you made your way through the front door. “Dear, dinner is ready and you look a bit of a mess.” She glanced down at your hands and legs, which prompted you to look as well. You did have a bit of dirt on your skin. “Go wash up before you join me.” 

Helen had always been this way, a bit rude. You flashed her a tight smile, nodding as you made your way to your room. Stepping through the door of your special sanctuary, you heaved a sigh of relief. The room just felt lighter than the rest of the house. You made quick work of undressing and showering, a bit eager to get food into your body. Once you were bathed and dressed, you stepped out into the hall, not noticing the notebook sitting on your bedside table.

Dinner passed slowly. There wasn't much conversation, though the food was amazing. Julia had made roast and potatoes with a side salad, and you were sure you had never tasted a roast so tender and full of flavor. Voices from the kitchen could barely be heard, Julia and Steven no doubt. You wished you could retreat through the doors and eat with them, their company would be much more welcome than Helen’s. She had finished her food already, but had always been adamant that everyone be finished before anyone left the table.

“Dear.” Her voice caused you to meet her gaze, which was hardened. “While I am pleased to have you back, I must ask why the sudden wish to return.” You knew this would come up eventually. You took a deep breath, thinking through your words carefully. “I needed a break from city life. I have hit a wall with my writing. Being here always gave me new and wonderful ideas. I thought it might help.” Your aunt gave you a curt nod, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin even though she hadn't eaten anything. “Well, if you're done, I'll retire to my room now.” The sliding of her chair filled the quiet room as she turned and made her way to the stairs.

The bed was comfortable as you fell onto it. You weren't particularly tired, but it felt nice to lay down. Steven’s words from earlier swirled through your head. He obviously knew something you didn't, but you also knew that trying to pry would get you nowhere. Out of habit, you turned to grab your phone, mentally cursing yourself when you remembered you had no service and you had forgotten to call your mother. Your attention was immediately diverted to the notebook sitting neatly by your phone, puzzling you.

You hadn't taken a notebook out of your bag, that you knew for certain. Your hand changed direction to reach for the notebook. Shuffling down under your blanket, you brought the book in front you, flipping through the pages. You stopped at a page that was dated just after your 9th birthday. 

The gardens here are so cool. There's so many of them. It'll take me weeks to go through them all.

You chuckled at the thoughts of your past self and flipped a few more pages. This entry was set a few days later.

I found a new garden! I was exploring around the old, gross part of the grounds and I looked through some vines and found it. Aunt Helen called me back before I could get a good look, but I'm gonna go back tomorrow. 

This gave you pause. You didn't remember ever exploring the old part of the grounds. Helen had always told you to stay away from that part of the estate, stating it was dangerous. Deciding to read the next entry, you quickly flipped to the next page.

The new garden is so pretty! It's already my favorite. It has some of every flower and it's huge. And there's a house in there! I didn't see anyone, but maybe tomorrow. 

This had to be some of your childhood stories. There was no way that there was another house on the property. With a sigh, you set the book back on the table and clicked your light off. Giving your pillow a fluff, you laid down and drifted into a dream. 

“Hongjoong that wasn't funny!” The young boy stood in front of you holding his belly and laughing. “You should have seen your face!” He flailed his arms around and made an exaggerated scared face while you pouted. “You shouldn't scare me like that. It's not nice.” One look at your face let him know that he had really messed up, you looked like you were about to cry. “I'm sorry Y/N. I didn't mean to make you sad. I never want to make you sad.” You perked up after his apology, telling him that it was ok and reaching for his hand. He took your hand in his and you both ran off into the garden. 

You awoke with a startle, a little disoriented. The dream was still fresh on your mind, and it left so many questions. Was that the garden you had written about in the notebook? Why did the dream seem so real? It had been like a distant memory. And who the fuck was Hongjoong? Your immediate reaction was to grab the notebook again and try to search for the name, but a knock on the bedroom door made you put that off. “Y/N dear, I’m going into town today and I would like for you to join me. Do hurry and get ready, please. I’d rather not have to wait much longer.”

The ride to town with Helen was silent, just as it always had been. Why she wanted you to join was beyond you, but you could use the time to go over your thoughts. Despite being confused,  you couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadness at having woken up from your dream. The boy, Hongjoong it seemed, had already created a home in your mind. He seemed so familiar, like an old friend. But you were sure you had never met him. So, why was he invading your dreams? And why did you have such a vivid picture of this new garden? Was it something your mind had conjured on its own? It had to be. There had never been a garden in the dilapidated part of the grounds, and there certainly had never been another house. 

The abrupt stop of the car brought you out of your deep thoughts. Swiveling your head, you noticed that Helen had parked at the town market. It was a small building for a small town, nothing fancy, but it had all the essentials. The market was set in a shopping center of sorts, again just a small little gathering of buildings. There was a clothing store, a barbershop and the library all huddled around one parking lot. An idea sprung to the forefront of your mind. “Aunt Helen, I think I’d like to visit the library, if that’s ok. I could use a good book to read.” You aren’t entirely sure why you decided to lie to your aunt, something just told you that you probably shouldn’t tell her your actual plans. Helen heaved a heavy sigh from the driver’s seat. “I was hoping you would actually help me, but do as you wish, dear.” Turning your head and rolling your eyes, you stepped out of the car and made your way to the library doors.

The library was like any other library, you weren’t really sure why you expected anything else. Like everything in the town, it was small, but it seemed to be bigger than it looked from the outside. Rows of bookshelves spanned down each side of the building and behind the librarian’s desk. Stepping forward, you stopped at the desk where an older lady with thin glasses and a tight bun looked up at you. You held in a giggle at the stereotypical librarian look. “Good afternoon, how can I help you?” She had a friendly smile, a genuine smile rather than the customer service smile many people wore when they were working. “Good afternoon, ma’am. Does this library have newspaper archives?”

Surprisingly, the library had a basement. It was a bit drafty, letting the cool, spring air run through the room. It obviously wasn’t used much, boxes stacked up in one corner. The librarian led you to a single computer that sat on a desk in the very back of the basement. “Sorry that you have to come all the way down here for the archives.” She gave you a kind, somewhat sad smile. “Pretty much everything has transferred to tablets or whatever new fangled technology the kids are using these days. But the newspaper archives haven’t been switched over yet, they’re still on this computer, aside from much older ones that are still on floppy disks.” You gave her a nod of your head with a reassurance that this was fine. “What year are you looking for, sweetie?” It took a moment for you to answer. “I don’t know.”

The blinking cursor on the screen was a bit daunting. The kind librarian had been patient with you, letting you know that it was ok to not know a year and that a name could be used as well. All you had to do was type it into the search bar. If the name couldn't be found, always check the floppies. You didn't think you'd have to go back that far. Were you crazy? You didn't even have a full name. Just Hongjoong. There had to be more than just one Hongjoong, how would you know what you were looking for? Pushing the doubts aside, you typed in Hongjoong's name and pressed enter.

Unlike what you expected, only a couple of articles popped up. The headlines were vastly different from each other, and you were sure the two couldn't be related. After looking over the words for a moment, you chose to click on the first link.

Father takes son and runs.

Kim Jae-seok and Kim Hongjoong have been missing for 3 weeks at this point. While it was first suspected that the father and son had had an unfortunate accident, the running theory now is that Jae-seok has kidnapped his son and left his wife, Kim Eunbi. Mrs. Kim has adamantly argued against this theory, blaming a local woman for the disappearances, but there is no evidence at this time to substantiate her claims.

You stared at the screen with a baffled expression. At the bottom of the article there was a picture of a young boy and an older man, both wearing giant grins. The boy sat on the man’s shoulders, arms wrapped around the man’s forehead. The caption at the bottom of the picture gave the pair’s names. Kim Jae-seok and Kim Hongjoong. The article was dated around the time you would have been 9, and the boy looked to be around your age. He was also the Hongjoong from your dream.

It took you a few minutes to gather the gumption to click on the next article. After a few deep breaths, you moved the mouse, ready for what came next.

Mother of missing boy ostracized: grief or insanity?

2 years after the disappearance of her son and husband, Kim Eunbi has been shunned by the community. She has stuck to her initial claims that a local woman is responsible for the disappearances. Her claims that the owner of the large garden estate has her family hidden away have remained consistent throughout the investigation. Searches were done, but no trace of Kim Jae-seok and Kim Hongjoong were found. The woman is quoted saying “I feel for the poor woman, losing her family, but I certainly have nothing to do with her misfortune.” At this time, the case has been cold. It is still thought that Jae-seok had kidnapped their son.

As you read the words, your mind swirled. Mrs. Kim seemed to believe that Helen had something to do with the disappearances. But to your knowledge, Helen hadn't really spoken to anyone from town. Her visits were always quick, with as little interaction as possible. Looking at you watch let you know that you didn't have much time left before your aunt was done with her errands. On a whim, you erased Hongjoong's name from the search bar, typing in his mother's name instead.

The same articles popped up, only there was one thing added. An obituary. Your heart panged as you read it. She died without knowing what became of her husband and son. You quickly closed out of the tab, rushing back upstairs, thanking the librarian again on your way out. Helen was just getting back to her car as you stepped through the library doors.

You helped her put her groceries into her car, silent the entire time. You definitely had some things to think about. There was no way your hermit of an aunt could have anything to do with the case of the missing men. Mrs. Kim had to have had some sort of mental break due to her grief. Once the bags were neatly placed in the trunk, you took your place in the passenger seat once more.

“Where's your book, dear?” Helen was quick to notice that you came back from the library empty handed and you quickly came up with a believable excuse. “Nothing really interested me. I didn't want to keep you waiting.” That seemed to satisfy her, giving you a nod and a hum. Your thoughts drifted again. Sure Helen was rude, but she wasn't dangerous. Was she?

Steven came to help bring the groceries inside, Julia following soon after. With their blessing, you decided to tour another garden. Maybe that would help you clear your head. You started walking, not really having a particular garden in mind, stopping at the first one you came to. Camillas. Though the camilla garden was one of the smaller gardens, it was still large. 

Rather than hedges surrounding it, there was a tall fence, dark wood of course. Helen did have a theme after all. Despite your thoughts, you tried to pay attention to the beauty surrounding you. Once again, there were flowers of every color. How Helen managed to find so many colors baffled you, but you guessed that when you had that much money, things were more possible for you.  

At the center of the garden stood another statue. Every garden had one, or some sort of hedge animal, if you remembered correctly. This particular statue was of a man with a young boy peeking from behind the man's leg. The base of the statue had no plaque, but was surrounded by yellow camillas. The man's face was rather somber looking, which was odd for such a beautiful garden. 

Helen watched you from the window, a scowl on her face. You were hiding something and she could tell. She could always tell. Except when it came to her oaf of a gardener. She had never been able to get a good read on the man, despite years of experience and practice. She would have done away with Steven if she were able, but she knew the deal and she couldn't go against that. She didn't know what or how, but she knew something had to be done about your nosey tendencies.

You sat amongst the camillas until the sun began to set and a chill started biting at your skin. You still hadn't made sense of the information you had found in the library. Nothing made sense. You wanted to ask someone if they had heard of Hongjoong and his father, but Helen wasn't an option. You doubt Julia knew anything, which only left Steven. Even if he knew anything, you doubted he would say. He'd been working for your aunt for years, he had a loyalty to her.

“Hey mom. Sorry for not calling sooner. My phone has no service here and it kept slipping my mind.” Your mother’s voice was pleasant as she told you that it was ok. She was sure Helen would have called if you had never arrived. A thought passed through your mind and you considering asking your mother if she knew anything about the Kims. Your voice made the decision for you. “Mom, do you know anything about a missing boy and his father?” Silence. It felt like 5 minutes of silence before your mother spoke again. 

“Jae-seok was a friend of your father's. They had gone to school together and had been close ever since. Your dad had always joked about him becoming his brother in law one day.” Your mother left out a breathy chuckle and you kept your attention steady, wanting to know more. 

“When Jae-Seok met Eunbi, the jokes stopped. It was clear that the two of them were meant to be together. They had been so in love. It didn't take long for them to marry, your father was the best man. After Hongjoong was born, Helen gave Jae-Seok the job as her gardener. He made those gardens what they are.” 

You knew that Jae-Seok had been the gardener, but just how close he was to your family was new information. Your mother continued, giving you everything you knew.

“When Jae-Seok left with Hongjoong, both Eunbi and your father had been insistent that there was no way Jae-Seok would do that. He loved his life and he worshiped Eunbi and treated her like a queen. Your father searched for him as much as he could, but after a while he had to give up. The disappearances were the reason we moved. He just couldn't handle staying in a town with so many memories.”

You didn't know what to say. Your head was spinning a little. You had gotten so much information in such a short period of time. Despite all of the thinking you had done today, you still had more to do. You thanked your mother and talked a bit more before you said your goodbyes. Deciding that you weren't particularly hungry, you let Helen know that you would be skipping dinner. The woman looked far from pleased, but you paid her no mind. You were also unaware of the man standing not too far off with a smile on his face.

Laying on your bed, you felt exhausted. You hadn’t really done anything extensive, but your mind hadn't stopped running in circles since your trip to the library. You went through the facts one more time.

1. You had dreams and journal entries about a boy named Hongjoong. 

2. Your father knew the boy's father.

3. Your aunt had been accused of being involved. 

4. Hongjoong was missing.

Turning to your bedside table, you reached to grab the journal you had found the night before. You paused. There was another journal sitting on top. Where were these coming from? A knock on your door took your attention away from the journals. Giving a deep sigh, you prepared yourself to face Helen. 

Opening the door, you were a little surprised to find Steven. “Thought you should probably eat.” He extended his arm, a plate of the dinner Julia had made in his hand. You couldn't help but smile. Steven was a really nice guy. As you took the plate, you gathered enough courage to ask him a question. “Steven, do you remember me ever mentioning a boy named Hongjoong when I was a child?”

The man stiffed a little before relaxing, as if he was trying to hide his reaction. “I'm sure I can't say, Miss Y/N.” Not the answer you were expecting. Steven remembered everything. “It's getting to be a little past my bedtime. Gotta be up early. You should do some reading, Miss Y/N. Goodnight.”

His mentioning reading struck you as a little odd. He had seen you come back from town, he had to have known you hadn't brought a book back and there weren't any books in your room. Sure, he could have assumed you had brought some with you. That was the most logical explanation, but something was still bothering you.

Shrugging the odd conversation off, you took your food to your bed, planning to nibble on it as you read the journals. You chose the new one, flipping through the pages. Your browsing stop and a page that was dated when you would have been 13.

“Hongjoong and I read today, it was pretty relaxing. I like that I can have someone that doesn't feel the need to always fill the silence. Sometimes that's just what I need, to be in someone's presence but still enjoy the quiet. We did talk a little, though. He's such a great listener. He did get a little sad when I asked him to come look at the gardens with me tomorrow. He said something about not being able to leave. I'm not sure what he meant. I'll try again tomorrow.”

There was a large break in the page before a sentence placed at the very bottom.

“I'm gonna marry him one day.”

You almost closed the book immediately. Your 13 year old self was thinking of marrying her imaginary friend. It just seemed silly. You grabbed the other journal, finding a page before the last one you had read.

“I'm writing this in case I forget, the new garden can be hard to find. All you have to do is find the part of the fence with two missing boards. There's a few spots like that, but the one to the garden has vines all over it and an H carved into the board next to it.”

You finished your food, setting the plate and journal back on the table. Looks like you had some exploring to do tomorrow. 

“Don't do this, Y/N. Please. You know I can't come with you, please don't just stop coming. The look on Hongjoong's face broke your heart. He was your best friend, but you were starting to think this was all in your mind. Some imaginary world you had created in your mind. “Joong, I'm getting too old to play make believe with people who aren't there.” His face changed from sadness to anger. “You know damn well that I'm not an imaginary friend. You know what, go. Leave and don't come back. I'm fine here with my dad anyway.” You couldn't help the tear that fell from your eye as you watched him walk away.”

Waking up in a sweat was becoming normal. You groaned as you climbed out of bed to brush your teeth and change your clothes. Choosing to forego a shower, you'd be getting dirty today anyway, you picked out some jeans and an old shirt that you had turned into a night shirt. You sat and ate breakfast with Helen, choosing to ignore her comments about your outfit. She asked what your plans for the day were and you kept your cool, simply telling her you would be visiting the lilies today. She said nothing as she gathered her dirty dishes and took them to the kitchen.

Steven watched as you walked out of the door and headed to the old part of the estate. He couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped him and the smile that came to his face. He watched your form disappear before he spoke. “Finally.”

The vines were far overgrown. Steven must not worry about this section because there was nothing here. You felt a little ridiculous. Looking around for some garden that probably didn't exist. After an hour of searching, you were ready to give up. You could barely see any of the fence, there was a slim chance you'd be able to find missing boards and a carving. Moving to turn around and head back, you saw a sliver of a missing board. Stepping over to it, you pulled the vines to the side. Two missing boards. You searched around the boards around the gap. On the left board, a small H. 

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the incoming feeling of feeling like a silly little girl. Crouching down, you stepped through the gap. It took a little bit of wiggling, but you made it to the other side. When you lifted your head, you were in awe. The most beautiful garden you had ever seen was before you. Gardenias. Gardenias everywhere.

You stood still for a moment, just taking in the beauty. The shock subsided a little and you took your first steps further into the new majestic place you had found. Your feet seemed to know where to go, weaving you through the bushes. You stopped when you came upon a house. Just like the house from your dreams. You studied the house for a few seconds. It wasn't run down at all. In fact, it looked like it had been well taken care of. You watched the door open and a man step out. He stood there looking at you for what felt like forever. A smile slowly creeped across his face. “You're back.”

Your mind went blank. Suddenly a rush of memories came back to you. Meeting Hongjoong for the first time when you were 9, daily visits to the garden, meeting his dad, kissing him when you were 14. Everything hit you like a wave. You took a small step forward, barely moving. “Hongjoong.” The two of you slowly made your way to each other, both of you a little cautious. Once you were right in front of each other, you took a moment to just take him in.

He was handsome, he had grown into one of the most handsome men you had ever seen, if not the most handsome. He tentatively brought his hand to your cheek as if he was worried you'd back away from him. His thumb made soft movements against your face, his eyes boring into yours. “I thought I'd never see you again. I've waited. Every day I come out and take care of the flowers I planted for you, hoping I'll see you walk up. I've missed you so much. I'm sorry for the last conversation we had.”

You felt tears forming and you did your best to blink them away. You leaned into his touch, relishing in his warmth. You had so many questions for him, but you couldn't bring yourself to ask yet. Your brain was screaming at you to touch him. You quickly reached for him, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. He took no time in hugging you back, squeezing a little tighter. “I'm sorry it took so long for me to come back.” Your words were spoken into his chest, coming out a bit muffled. He must have heard you because he responded immediately. “You're here now. That's all that matters.”

Hongjoong pulled you inside, asking you to tell him about the 10 years he had missed. You told him about your high school and college graduations, moving to the city, becoming a writer. His gaze never wavered from you, fully enthralled in what you had to say. Every now and then he would give your thigh a squeeze. Once you had filled him in on your life, you asked him the same. He could see you looking around the house, obviously wondering where his father was. He let his head fall forward a little.

“Dad died about 3 years ago, it's just me now.” Your heart sank. He had lost the only person he had. He had been completely alone for 3 years. Guilt ran through your body. As if he knew what you were thinking, he grabbed your hand. “Please don't feel guilty. You had a life to live and death is natural.” Your questions finally made their way back to the forefront of your mind. Taking a deep breath, you squeezed his hand. “Joong. Why can't you leave the garden?”

He was silent for a while, gathering his words. “Dad explained everything to me before he died. There was a woman who was in love with him. She had asked him to be with her multiple times, but he always turned her down. When he met my mom, things got bad. He was the gardener here and we lived on the property. In this house, actually.” He paused, taking a deep breath before he continued. 

“She continued to try to change Dad's mind even after he married Mom and I was born, but he still refused. Mom had left to go to town one day and Dad and I were playing in the garden, it was pansies then.” He gave a sad chuckle and met your eyes, gaging your reaction as he continued. 

“Your aunt came to the garden, looking for Dad. She started talking, but she wasn't making any sense. Next thing Dad knew, she was gone. He went looking for her, but when he got to the gate, he couldn't leave. The gate would open, but he couldn't step out. We were trapped.” You could feel the tears running down your face. You were filled with sadness, but also rage. How could Helen do this? Mrs. Kim had been right all along.

“The last thing Dad heard was your aunt telling him that he would stay here until he realized that they weren't meant to be. She said until true love was realized. She said we wouldn't be able to be found, especially by my mother. So, I'm stuck here. I don't even know anything about Mom.” The tears were falling harder now. You knew you had to tell him, but it was so hard.

“I found news articles about your disappearance. Your mother never stopped looking. She looked until she died.” Hongjoong looked broken. He had lost everyone, and he had lost you for years. Every bit of emotion you had ever had for Hongjoong had hit you full force. You had forgotten him, yes, but your heart had apparently not. You decided right then that even though you weren’t sure how, you’d figure out how to get him out of the garden.

You kept returning to see Hongjoong every day for weeks. You were sure that Helen was getting suspicious, but you did your best to keep her from figuring out where you were going. The two of you talked like old times, sometimes even playing tag and hide and seek like you had when you were kids. Hongjoong still had the books the two of you would read all those years ago, and it became a routine of reading together. You had even taken trips to the library to bring him new books to read, which he was immensely grateful for. 

After a month of daily visits, you were sure that you were in love with Hongjoong. You suspected that some part of you always had been, but you were old enough to understand the things you were feeling. You wanted to tell him, but you were nervous. You knew that he would never treat you badly for telling him that you had fallen in love with him, but the fear was still there. The sight of his house made you forget about your worry immediately. He was standing outside, just like he always was. His back was turned to you while he was bent down watering the gardenias that bloomed around the house. With a smirk, you quietly walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. He jumped with a small shriek and turned to face you with a pout. 

“That wasn’t funny. You scared the hell out of me.” You couldn’t help but laugh, remembering how you had said those words to him so many years ago. “Consider that payback for scaring me when we were 9.” The pout disappeared from his face and was replaced with the bright smile you loved to see him wear. Looking at him now, you were definitely in love with him. Without giving it a second thought, you pushed forward, lips meeting his. 

It took him a moment to react, obviously surprised. As soon as he realized what was happening, his lips started to move against yours. Your heart was soaring, you were absolutely sure that you could kiss him every second of the day and never get tired of the feeling. One of his arms wrapped around your middle, pulling you closer, the other making it up to your cheek. Time seemed to stop as the two of you kissed until you had to separate for air. The two of you stared at each other, just taking everything in. “I love you, Joong.” 

Your eyes widened as you heard your own voice. That was definitely not planned. You dropped your gaze, feeling a bit embarrassed. Hongjoong’s fingers found your chin, tilting your face up. “Do you know what gardenias mean?” The question caused you a little confusion, but you shook your head. “Gardenias mean secret love. I planted these because it was my way of telling you that I loved you.  I’ve been in love with you since I was 15. I didn’t realize it until after you left. At first I thought it was just that I missed the only friend I had ever had, but that wasn’t it.” You smiled at him softly, letting him speak until he had said all he needed to say. “I knew it wasn’t that when I would go to the gate every day and just read and wait. I would hear voices on the other side every now and then and I always hoped that it was you. I stopped caring about whether or not I would ever leave the garden, as long as I had you here with me.” He ended his thoughts with a peck to your forehead. 

The tears came again, damn him for being so sweet. “Hongjoong? Will you make love to me?” He took a step back from you and you were sure that you had fucked up. He lowered his head to hide the blush that decorated his cheeks. “I don’t know how.” His voice was only a whisper, and you mentally kicked yourself for not thinking about that. “It’s ok. I’m sorry. We don’t have t-” Your voice was cut short as he stepped forward to grab your hand. “But I want to. Is that ok?” 

Hongjoong laid you onto his bed with shaking hands. Your lips had been pushed against each other since he had told you that he wanted to make love to you. Your heart was so full. You could tell he was nervous. “Joong. Take as long as you need. We don't have to do this now.” Your reassurance seemed to relax the man. “I want to do this now. I'm just nervous.” He gave an embarrassed chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck. 

You reached down, rubbing him over his pants. His hips bucked into your hand and he let out a sigh at the contact. He buried his face in your neck, leaving small kisses along your skin. One of his hands slid up your body to your breast, giving it a cautious squeeze. You let out a small moan, letting him know he was doing the right thing. 

The sound seemed to relieve him of some of his nervousness, causing him to nibble on your neck and slide his hand further down your body, stopping over your clothed core. Due to the dress you were wearing, he was able to feel your damp panties, moaning at the feeling. “So wet.” His lips were back on yours immediately. His movements weren't completely on target, but you let him experiment until he found what made you moan the loudest. 

He leaned back, slipping his pants off, leaving him only in his boxers. Looking over him, you could tell that he had made them himself. You could also tell that he was very well endowed. Hongjoong moved to hover over you, resting on his arm beside your head. An idea popped in your head and you hoped it would help with his nerves.

You pulled back from his lips just long enough to speak. “Thrust your hips forward. We can start over our clothes.” His face relaxed a bit as he thrust into your core. His cock hit your clit on the first try and you moaned as your lips found his again. Hongjoong kept a slow pace and you assumed it was an attempt to not cum early. You would have been fine if he had, just having him like this at all was enough. 

He was obviously a natural, hitting the right spot every time he moved his hips. Your hands found their place on his back, nails digging in slightly. He groaned into the kiss and you made a note to push a little further next time. His breathing began to quicken. He pulled back from your body, a little flush on his cheeks. “I don't want to cum yet and I was getting close.” 

You let him know that it was ok if he came, but he shook his head. “You first. You just may have to help me.” You pecked his lips with a nod. Grabbing his hand, you slipped it under the hem of your panties, placing it directly on your clit. “Rub in slow circles, only a little bit of pressure.” He immediately got to work and again, he was a natural. 

His lips found yours yet again, his tongue rubbing at the seam of your lips. Giving him entry to your mouth, your tongues tangled in a perfect dance. You let him lead the kiss, knowing he would do it right. His playing with your clit felt good, but you needed a little more. You pulled away again to give a few more instructions. “Keep your thumb on my clit and slide your fingers down. I need you to finger me.” The circles on your clit stopped for barely a second before he moved into action.

Sliding his index and middle fingers down your pussy to your entrance, he groaned. He suddenly stopped, eyes meeting yours. “Can I see you? All of you?” You gave him a soft smile and a nod reaching to take your dress off. He grabbed the edges of your panties and slide them down your legs. And then he stared. Just stared.

You started to get a little self conscious, squirming. “Beautiful.” His voice was barely audible, but it made your heart flutter. He admired you a little longer before he moved his hand back into position. This thumb found your clit as if he had been doing this for years. His fingers circled your entrance and he smirked at the whine you let out as your hips bucked into his hand. 

He leaned down to kiss you as he slipped his index finger inside of you. You moaned against his lips, wrapping your arms back around him. Just like with his thrusts earlier, he kept his pace slow. After a few slides of his finger, his middle finger joined his index. The feeling of being slightly more full than only a second ago had your head spinning. You were about to pull away to tell him to curl his fingers when he did that on his own. Your nails dug into his back again, causing him to pick up his pace.

You were getting close and you couldn't tell if it was because he was a quick learner, or if it was just him. You didn't care. Hongjoong whined as you began to squeeze his fingers, picking up his pace again. He was the one to pull away this time, moving his face back to your neck. His lips found your ear, biting your lobe slightly. “Cum for me, my love.” And that was all it took for you to cum around his fingers.

He kept his pace until you were pushing his arm away. “Sensitive.” He pulled his hand away from you, looking at your wetness on his fingers. He looked like he was thinking about something, then slowly lifted his hand to his mouth, pushing his fingers into his mouth. The moan he let out was obscene and it made you clench around nothing. You were still a bit winded when you reached for his boxers, letting him know you wanted them off.

He was big, but not too big. His cock was perfect. He positioned himself over you again, giving you another small peck to your lips. He reached down to wrap his hand around his member, placing it at your entrance. He looked up at you. “Ready?” You gave him a nod and he pushed into you slowly, causing you both to moan in unison. Once he was fully seated inside of you, he paused, letting himself get used to the feeling. 

You rubbed his back, trying to help him relax. After a few moments, he pulled his hips back, leaving only the tip of his cock inside of you before he pushed himself back in. He sped up a little, relishing in the feeling of your walls wrapped tightly around him. You could tell by the look on his face that he wouldn't last much longer, and all you wanted was to see him cum. To fill you completely. “It's ok, baby. Cum whenever you're ready. Don't hold back.” 

He sped his hips again, his moans getting louder. His thrusts were getting sloppy and you dug your nails into his back. “I love you, Hongjoong.” He shivered and let out the loudest moan yet as his hips stopped and his seed began to fill you. “I love you. I love you so much.” His words were shaky, but full of emotion. Once he calmed down, he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Thank you for coming back to me.”

It took two months for your aunt to finally say something to you about the garden. You had woken up, brushed your teeth and changed, and had breakfast before you walked out to go see Hongjoong. This had become such a routine that you could do it without thought. Just as you were approaching the missing boards, a voice came from behind you. “And just where are you going, dear niece?” Your body stiffened as you turned to face her. 

Her face was full of rage. You stood your ground, she had hurt so many people already. You wouldn't let her hurt anyone else. “I'm going to the garden you trapped two innocent people in.” Her face twisted into absolute hatred. “You ungrateful brat. I let you into my home and you disrespect me. How dare you?” It was your turn to feel rage.

“How dare I? How dare YOU? You couldn't accept that you weren't wanted and you cursed an entire family. You took a son and husband away from a woman who did nothing but love a man. You're disgusting.” 

You turned your back to Helen, intent on continuing your trek to see Hongjoong. Your aunt took the opportunity to grab your arm and pull you back towards her. “You will not go back there. I forbid it. If you continue to disobey you can go back to your life in the city.” You tried to pull your arm back, but Helen was stronger than she looked. “Let go of me you wretched woman!”

Hongjoong heard you yell from the garden and his feet moved faster than his brain. He ran to the garden gate, pulling on it, not even thinking twice when it opened for the first time in his life. When he stepped onto the other side, he noticed you with an older woman's hand wrapped around your arm. He saw red. He ran forward, wrapping his arms around the older woman and doing his best to pull her off of you. He managed to get her away, but she quickly broke free from his grip.

“Helen, that is enough!” Steven's voice drew everyone's attention. He was standing a few feet away, Julia by his side. He held a large book in his hand, which he handed to Julia. “This has gone on for too long, it's time to let it go. The boy has done nothing to you.” Helen made eye contact with Julia, noticing the book she held tight to her chest. 

“Yes, I found your book, not that you really hid it.” Steven's voice brought her attention back to him. “You. I don't know how you did it, but this reeks of your doing.” Her words were filled with venom, but Steven looked unbothered. He straightened his back, standing tall and proud.

“You may have forced me into silence about this situation, but I'm a crafty man. You never noticed Miss Y/N's notebooks, but I did.” Everything clicked into place. The sudden appearance of the notebooks, Steven's cryptic words. Everything made sense now.

Hongjoong stepped next to you, both of you still not realizing he had left the garden. His hand reached for yours, intertwining your fingers. You both focused on Steven, waiting for his next words.

“For years I have been forced into this sham of a marriage, into silence about how awful you are. And now it's over. The boy has made it out of the garden, Helen. True love has been realized. Your curse is broken.” 

Everyone seemed to realize that Hongjoong was free at the same time. Heads whipped to face him. Helen’s expression full of anger, yours of awe, and Hongjoong's of confusion. You wrapped your arms around him immediately, bringing him into a hug. It took him a moment to catch up to your enthusiasm, but it wasn't long before he held you tight against him.

“Now, if Miss Julia will help me, we have something planned for you. See, you're not the only one that read this little magic book of yours. We've waited for the day the boy could leave the garden. Now, he's made that garden into a home and I see no reason to take that from him. But a little garden of your own seems appropriate.”

With that, Julia began to read from the book. Her words were quick, not giving Helen enough time to make it to her to stop her. In a flash, Helen was gone. You looked at Julia, confused. You had thought that Helen's new home would appear in front of you. “I never said the garden would be here” 

It didn't take much consideration to decide to stay with Hongjoong in the house he grew up in. The garden was covered in the flowers that he planted for you. It was where your love story began, and it would be where your love story would end. 

Steven reported Helen missing and as her legal husband, that you still didn't understand, he got ownership of the estate. He had tried to give it to you, but you refused. You didn't need the big house, you just needed Hongjoong. 

You received a call from your publisher, letting you know the good news. The draft of your novel had been approved. “You still haven't told me the name of this book, my love.” You smiled at your husband, giving him a sweet kiss. Leaning to place your lips next to his ear, you whispered lowly. “The Secret Garden.”

[xuhuihuis]

I cant get off of anon help but omg im having such bad baby fever imagine ricky w a breeding kink telling u how pretty the baby is gonna look while he stuffs u up with his cum over n over again (also i love ur writing sm ur one of my inspirations to write ily pls dont die) - from kuni 🎀 (cyberkunizz)

Laced With Love | Shen Ricky

warnings: dom!ricky, sub!reader, breeding, dirty talk, pet names, pussy drunk!ricky

“You were made for me, darling; I missed this cunt so much,” Ricky grunted as he rocked inside of you, reaching all of your deepest spots inside of you. All night he has been treating you like the princess you really were, making sure you were comfortable no matter what. All of his life, he has dreamed of having kids, and when you came into his life, he knew you were the one. You spent many hours at night talking about having kids, and now you were both finally ready for it to happen. Ricky didn’t want to rush this at all; he was doing everything to make it last. This would be a moment for him to remember forever. 

Ricky hummed as he took your hand in his and laced your fingers together, feeling closer to him than you already were. He took one of his thumbs and rubbed over your knuckles any time you looked in distress, not wanting you to be in pain at all during this. He couldn’t look away from your facial expressions as his cock rubbed against your gummy walls. You were so wet for him, which made it easier for him to make you feel so good. All that could describe your gasp as he hit that spot inside of you was perfect. 

Although you have been together with him for many years, this is one of his first times fucking you raw. Making sure to treat every moment like it was precious, as nothing will ever be the same after this. Finally, after so long, he has the chance to stuff you with his cum, leaving you nice and filled. Getting to make love to you raw like this has much more meaning, as in a couple months your stomach could be swollen with your child. 

“Taking me so well, my beautiful girl." He moaned into the crook of your neck as you clenched around him tighter, wrapping your legs around his hips. The sudden rush of pleasure took him by surprise as he choked on his own moans. No matter how many times he makes love to you, Ricky will never get used to the feeling of your cunt clenching his cock so tight. It's always been his dream to have children with you, from the day you started dating. Spending hours at night only dreaming of what your future children will look like when they are born. 

“Our babies will look so beautiful, darling." He couldn’t help but start to ramble as he got lost in the feeling of your walls wrapped around him. Your cunt was wrapped so beautifully around his cock, taking every inch he gave you. Ricky kissed your neck gently as his hand started to rub your lower stomach, only dreaming of how it would be all swollen because of him. 

Ricky never took his eyes off of you the whole time, thinking that you were such a princess, taking him so well. He moaned so beautifully whenever he hit that spot where you needed him the most, keeping your cunt nice and full the whole time. Looking up at him with such sweet and innocent eyes, which contrasted with his dirty words. The room was filled with the sounds of mixed moans, and the bed was rocking against the wall with each caring thrust of his hips, making sure that you were feeling so good.

“Fuck, even your tummy will look so pretty swollen. Let everyone know who you belong  to." He was so far gone at this point, babbling against the warm skin of your neck. The strong scent of your perfume wasn’t helping him at all; it was only pushing him on more. Ricky groaned as he held your stomach, letting his mind wander to how swollen your stomach could be in a couple months.

All you could do was lay there breathless, taking everything, and beg him to cum for the nth time that night. Ricky never got tired of watching you cum for him, every time felt like the first for him. You wrapped your legs around his hips tighter, which erupted a groan from him. God, he sounded so beautiful. Panting and moaning out for you, he tried his best to hold back, but nothing was working now. What once were sentences are now just babbles as he got too carried away.

“I’m gonna make you a mommy, going to be so fucking pretty." His thursts were now sloppy and messy, making it difficult to keep going. You started to rock your hips up and help him. It all got too much for him, spilling into your cunt with a groan and burying his head into your chest. Ricky’s eyes were rolled back so far into his head that you could see the whites of his eyes. Finally getting to feel sweet relief. His whole body started to shake as he came down from his high, and then his eyes widened as you clenched down hard as you came.

The feeling of his thick, warm cum was all too much for you, matched by the sight of his shaking body. All you could do was lay there and hold one another as you both came down from your highs, both still aching for one another. Ricky was so gentle with the way he held you, slowly rubbing your tummy, only hoping that tonight was the night. There was something there in the pit of his stomach, which made him feel like it was going to happen after all. 

He couldn’t tear his eyes from where your bodies connected, and he saw the ring of white around his cock. Ricky had filled you up so much that it was starting to leak out onto the bed sheets below. You couldn’t help but whimper at the loss as he pulled out of you, but he was soon fingering his cum back into you. It was so precious and couldn’t go to waste like this. Doing everything that he could to keep you so full and warm of his seed.

“You're going to be such a good mommy.”

[yannaryartside]

Carmy will have to decide between two types of love

I keep thinking about why Carmy (possibly) deciding between Claire and Syd is taking so much time on the overall plot of the series. We have used a entire season of him falling for Claire, and my theory is that in this season the Syd vs Claire is gonna be toe to toe, and then in the final season he goes for Syd.

Now, if that happens this way, I have been analysing it from a writers perspectives, how this love stories create Carmen ultimate character arc. I am gonna propose to you two narratives and why I would go for the later. Character analysis ahead.

The Claire option

Walk with me here. If you ship Claire and Carmy and believe the trailers, you could say this whole thing is about Carmy learning to accept love and good things. That is why the last season ended with him rejecting the relationship out of trauma just to realize that Claire loved him. This season could be about him healing to a point where he learns he deserves love, apologizing to Claire, and getting back together. And you know what, that does make sense, writing this show as an exercise for learning to heal childhood wounds. It is clean and makes sense. Then in s4 his new self can make all the good decisions, have a couple of kids, bum you have an arc.

But the background noise, or the clues floating around, to call it something, doesn't make sense. Here insert all the Sydcarmy clues the fandom has talked about.

The show is trying to tell us that Claire is the love Carmy wants because he is trapped in his wounded self mentality.

As I said in this post, Claire's behavior looked extremely naive but manipulative sometimes. Her relationship with his family and the trauma surrounding it. How everybody seems more enthusiastic than him about the relationship at times.

The reason: the wound.

Claire is uncomplicated love, love with no expectations or boundaries, with only space for his needs, never hers. That is the kind of love a child expects from a parent. My theory is that Carmen, being with Claire, wanted to experience that kind of love, the one he didn't get from Donna. with a touch of his teen self fantasies and sex included.

And that also makes sense. Everybody that has been abused, particularly in childhood, will tell you that picking a partner without relying on your wounded self is very difficult.

A little bit of TMI on healing from abuse when you look for a romantic partner: One of the reasons I got into therapy is because I was terrified to end up marrying a man as abusive as my dad was with my mom and me. I had a problematic episode with one of my exboyfriends that made me realize I was repeating specific patterns, even when consciously, I thought I was picking men who didn't act like my father. It is something difficult precisely because you are not aware of it. It is all happening subconsciously.

So maybe that is why the writers want to give Carmen the chance to choose a partner as a healed person (Syd) and not as a wounded person desperate for love (Claire)

You cannot choose a romantic partner looking for the love of a parent, because parent to child love is the only type of unconditional love that can exist. Some therapist will tell you that the only way to cure that lack is with self love and forgiveness, but that is besides the point of this post.

Romantic relationships cannot be unconditional, it is a partnership. There needs to be expectations of grow, sacrifices and compromises, the two people need to get their needs met. You may heal together, but you partner may trigger your wounds sometimes, the same as your other relationships.

Syd definitely forces Carmy to evolve, while Claire enables him and keeps him in his past self.

Now here is where I think the twist of the series will come.

Remember when I said that Carmys core wound is ther he felt he was not good enough for Donna to love him? Because he could not be like Michael? This is the post

Syd is Carmy’s anchor and his peace. She is also characterized as someone who helps people to grow, who gives grace and sincerity when mistakes are made. She is the actually healthy woman/parent he never experienced.

Carmen has not healed his core wound. The lie he believes that he has to go the extra mile to earn people's love. The way he became the best chef in the world, dreaming of just getting a “good job” from his older brother.

But because his wounded self doesn't feel like he can be enough for somebody he actually wants (Syd), he felt for a woman that didn't asked anything of him (Claire).

That (never giving but always receiving) dynamic is what allowed Carmy to accept the relationship in the first place.

Thinking of all this made me realize that not only has Syd been the only person Carmy had chosen for himself (as other posts have brilliantly pointed out), but Syd is literally the only person who can make a relationship with him work. She had seen the worst of him (Donna) and had the capacity to make him think of himself beyound all that, hence the peace that she brings him “you are the best cdc” as in “you are great, you are good, a good partner, a good leader, you are my friend” you are not just the bear (your wounded self). He smiles because the person that he wants can see this even if he doesn't dare to belive it yet.

So I don't know how they could make Carmy realize all of this. I also could be wrong and the meaning of all of this could be something completly different. I also don't know of this opinion is controversial. Let me know what you think. Thank you for reading.

[paperdice]

HIIII how are youuu?? Sooo I wanted Golden cheese angst bcz we love angst right? …right? EHEM!!! One shot Mom golden cheese x child reader, the scenery is like when she’s gonna turn off the virtual world, what would she say to her child to calm them down? THABK YOUUU

𝐦𝐨𝐦!𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐞 𝐱 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭

"Let's not make much more out of all this, it pains my heart enough."

You could only watch as everything unfolds before your tiny eyes, watching your dough glitch was so uncanny,, What was happening to you and the other cookies? You felt like a harsh waterfall of fears and anxiety was just poured on top of you. Your head was hurting, why was it hurting?

You looked around for golden cheese cookie but your mother was elsewhere with the outsiders, but you didn't know where. Panic was creeping up on your paranoid confused mind with its long claws scraping against hope itself.

"momma?? has anyone seen my ma?? the queen??" you pleaded at your cookies for help but the panic and confusion was also spreading to their minds too.

A small body like yours was easy to miss, and your throat was up against the tight lump of fear which made it difficult to speak any louder than an inside voice. This made you frustrated, puffy red cheeks with tears wanting to roll down on them to finish the saddening piece.

Everything was too much, you just wanted your momma.

Like any child would be under unexplained pressure, you sat and began to cry where you were. You never had to go through anything like this before, nothing was even close to this, you were always pampered and safe. never had you thought to be separated from your mother in such dire time, because she always told you she'll be by your side.

"oh there you are! my poor baby bird.. I'm so sorry..!"

Your mothers voice shined a bright light to the darkness that was holding you in its grasp. Quickly looking up and running towards your mother, arms reaching out for her protection away from the world. Hiccups raided you when attempting to speak but all that came out was babbles and loud whimpering.

"oh no, you.." the distraught in her voice was clear, kneeling down and hugging you like it was the last hug she'll give. Her wings cradled you with its soft feathers,. "wh-whuAH!- is haH-haa-peen-nningggg. .. mommaa pl-leaze.." crying to tell her not to leave you again.

The most painful thing shes ever heard. Her baby trying so hard to talk through their fright after being left alone for how long. Her heart being broken is an understatement, it was stabbed and swollen, trying to stay strong for what's next.

Forcefully shutting her eyes by the time her own tears began to stream down her face. But she can't let you see that, you've been through enough as you proved.

Wiping away her tears with her arm, still holding her child in the other. She needed to do this.

She needed to do this right before shutting down her kingdom, but her heart aches so violently against her.

This was the closest shes gotten to her baby after the kingdoms perished, she doesn't wanna lose you again, she doesn't want to let you go. Losing the real you was the most difficult so she doesn't care that you're virtual because you felt just as real.

She gently holds both your shoulders and looks into your now redden eyes.. "I know there's a lot to explain, but.. I think its better not to uh, dull on it too much. because everything is okay." she smiled and felt bittersweet to speak more when she saw your face gleam as bright as gold, with faith in her words. "My gem, I've noticed how your dough has been getting paler as of late. Have you been getting rest?"

Have I been getting enough rest lately? hmm.

"I don't know, I can't remember.. is it that bad momma?" Worries was heard within your voice, "Nothing serious, just concerned me a little since it doesn't look good on you... How about you get some rest." she felt her brow flinch at the end of the sentence, was this the right way?

"mhm! can we nap together again?" .. "of course we can, anything you want."

A genuine smile was now on her face remembering all the times you two would nap, everytime you wanted to sleep you always invited her to join her. Even at the most uncalled for moments, your obliviousness spoke volumes of your love for your mother.

"I promise to nap with you whenever your small heart desires, no matter how many times you ask I'd do anything to be with you again."

Be with me again? ma's talking funny

"But I'm right here! And your bed is waayyy over there! let's go rest!"

"Yes you're right that's quite the far flight huh? How does sleeping in my arms in the meantime sound? Just like your real freshly baked days"

You don't exactly remember those days of course but you know your mother loved it based on how many times she'd reminisce about the memories. You didn't want to leave her side so you nodded and began to get comfortable, giggling at how goofy you felt. You were too big for this you thought.

"everything will be okay, sleep tight my love, I will wake you up when our morning comes.." tears falling as she saw you close your eyes and smile, "I love you ma." you said nuzzling on her inner arm, not realizing that you were fading away.

"I love you more, so much more.."

hellooo!! I'm doing alright how about you? I hope well, I also hope you like the angst! I had to resharpen my angst writing skills since its been a minute sobsob, thank you for the request and you're welcome! come back again if you're thinking of rolling another <333

[cheynovak]

A Night to Remember 

Part 10: The final scene  

Jensen Ackles x F/Reader Y/N          

Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, jealousy, sexual tension, little fluff? ... 

Side note: English isn’t my first language  

--     

Will the world believe that Jensen and Y/N were acting, will the world believe the picture was a publicity stunt? But more importantly, will they?        

Or is their tension towards each other, their ‘harmless’ flirting going to burst into flames? How much longer will they be able to keep their professional distance?      

-- 

Y/N walked into her small, cozy rental apartment in Austin, the encounter with Danneel replaying in her mind. She dropped her grocery bags on the kitchen counter, feeling a mixture of confusion and worry.  

If Jensen and Danneel were divorced or at least separated, why hadn’t he reached out to her? Their connection had been intense, and she couldn’t understand why he had vanished without a word. 

She paced around her apartment, her thoughts racing. Part of her wanted to respect his space, but another part yearned to hear from him, to understand what was happening in his life.  

Finally, she decided she couldn’t stand the silence any longer. She picked up her phone and typed a message, her fingers trembling slightly. 

Y/N: Hey Jensen, I ran into Danneel today. She told me about the divorce. I hope you’re okay? 

She hit send and sank onto the couch, her heart pounding. She stared at her phone, waiting for a response, her mind filled with memories of their time in Greece and the deep conversations they had shared. Minutes felt like hours as she waited, anxiety gnawing at her. 

After what felt like an eternity, her phone buzzed. She grabbed it, her heart leaping into her throat. It was Jensen. 

J: Hey sweetheart. I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch. Things have been really complicated. Can we talk later tonight? I’ll call you. 

Relief washed over her, but it was tinged with apprehension. She quickly replied,  

Y/N: Of course.  

The rest of the day passed in a haze. Y/N tried to distract herself with chores and reading, but her mind kept drifting back to Jensen. When the evening finally came, she settled on the couch, her phone clutched in her hand. The minutes ticked by slowly until, finally, her phone rang. 

“Hello?” she answered, her voice a mix of hope and nervousness. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Jensen said, his voice sounding weary. “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner. Everything has been a mess.” 

“It’s okay,” she said softly. “I just... I’ve been worried about you.” 

“I know,” he sighed. “I’ve been trying to keep it together for the kids, for Danneel, and I guess I thought cutting off communication with you would make things easier. But it didn’t.” 

Y/N felt a pang of sadness. “I understand. I just wish I had known what was going on.”  

“I’m sorry,” Jensen said again, his voice filled with regret. “Danneel and I decided to divorce because we couldn’t move past what happened. I thought if I distanced myself from you, it would help her heal. But I also realized that I was avoiding my own feelings.” 

“What do you feel now?” Y/N asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“I don’t know,” Jensen admitted. “I care about you, Y/N. I think about you a lot. But my life is so complicated right now. I’m trying to be the father my kids need, and I’m not sure where that leaves us.” 

Tears welled up in Y/N’s eyes. “I understand, Jensen. I don’t want to add to your burden. I just... I miss you.” 

“I miss you too,” he said softly. “But I need to figure out my life, to make sure I’m doing the right thing for my family. Can we stay in touch, just as friends for now?” Y/N felt a mixture of relief and sadness. “Yes, of course. I’ll always be here for you, Jensen. Take all the time you need.” 

“Thank you,” he said, his voice filled with gratitude. “I’ll keep you updated. And maybe, when things settle down, we can see where we stand.” 

“I’d like that,” Y/N replied, her heart aching with both hope and uncertainty. They talked for a while longer, catching up on each other’s lives, the conversation flowing easily despite the heavy emotions. 

After the phone call, Y/N felt heartbroken even though, deep down, she had expected this conversation. The weeks that followed were a blur of emotions. She and Jensen stayed in touch on a friendly basis, their conversations often lingering on the past but cautiously stepping toward the future. They kept their interactions light, discussing work, mutual friends, and the little things that made up their daily lives. 

Then one day, Y/N received an unexpected call from her agent. The producers of the boys wanted her to rejoin the cast for a few scenes. The opportunity was tempting; she missed the work, the set and the thrill of acting.  

But the thought of working so closely with Jensen again, especially considering the past few months, filled her with anxiety. She paced her apartment, debating whether to accept the offer.  

Finally, she decided to call Jensen, needing his perspective before making a decision. “Hey, Jensen,” she said when he picked up. “I got a call from my agent. They want me to come back for a few scenes. What do you think about it?” 

There was a brief silence on the other end before Jensen replied. “Wow, I didn’t know they were planning that. How do you feel about it?” 

“I don’t know,” Y/N admitted. “I miss the work, the team, but... I’m worried about us. About how it might affect everything, considering how things started with us.” 

Jensen sighs, the weight of the situation evident in his voice. “I get that. Honestly, I think it could be a good thing. We’ve been handling things well as friends, and maybe this is a chance to prove that we can work together professionally without letting our personal history interfere.” 

Y/N felt a flicker of hope but also a twinge of fear. “But what if it brings up old feelings? What if it makes things harder for both of us?” 

“We’ll have to be honest with each other,” Jensen said gently. “If either of us starts to feel uncomfortable or if it’s too much, we talk about it. I think we’ve learned a lot over the past few months. Maybe this is a test, but I believe we can handle it.” 

She took a deep breath, letting his words sink in. “Okay. I’ll do it. But let’s promise to keep the lines of communication open. No more avoiding the hard conversations.” 

“Deal,” Jensen agreed. “We’re in this together, even if it’s just as colleagues and friends.” 

The following weeks were a whirlwind of preparation. Y/N returned to the set with a mix of excitement and trepidation. The first day back was both familiar and strange, the sets and faces welcoming her like an old friend, but the memories of what had happened before lingered at the edges of her mind. 

When she saw Jensen for the first time on set, they shared a brief, heartfelt hug. There was an unspoken understanding between them, a mutual respect for the boundaries they had set. They slipped into their roles with ease, the chemistry that had once sparked something more now channelled into their performances. 

As they worked together, Y/N found herself falling into the rhythm of the job, her worries gradually easing. The scenes went smoothly, their professionalism shining through. Off set, they kept their interactions light and supportive, each respecting the other’s space and boundaries. 

One evening, after a particularly intense scene, they found themselves alone in the break room. Jensen handed Y/N a bottle of water, and they sat down, a comfortable silence between them. 

“You did great today,” Jensen said, breaking the silence. “It’s good to have you back, Y/N.” Karl said walking through the door. “Thanks,” Y/N replied, smiling. “It feels good to be back.”  

A few days into shooting, things were settling into a comfortable routine. Y/N and Jensen managed to work together without the awkwardness that had initially worried them.  

The scenes were going well, and their camaraderie on set was becoming more natural. One afternoon, during a break between scenes, Jensen was chatting with some crew members when he glanced over and saw Y/N laughing with Karl. 

She was entertained, her smile bright, and at one point, she placed her hand on Karl's arm in a friendly, leaning into him, a loving gesture. Jensen felt a twinge of jealousy twist in his chest, even though he knew he wasn’t supposed to feel that way. 

He tried to shake it off, reminding himself that he and Y/N were just friends now, and she had every right to form connections with others. But the feeling lingered, gnawing at him. He found it difficult to focus on the conversation around him, his eyes involuntarily drifting back to Y/N and Karl. 

Later, as they were preparing for another scene, Jensen couldn't help but bring it up. They were alone in the makeup trailer, and he decided to voice his thoughts, hoping to clear the air. 

"Hey," he started, trying to sound casual. "I saw you talking to Karl earlier. You two seem to get along well." Y/N looked up from her phone, a hint of surprise in her eyes.  

"Yeah, he's great. We've been catching up on old times. Why do you ask?" Jensen hesitated, then sighed, deciding honesty was the best approach. "I guess I felt a little... jealous. I know I have no right to be, but...” 

Y/N put her phone down, her expression softening. "Jensen, it’s ok. You don’t have to worry about Karl. We’re just friends.” Jensen returned her smile, feeling a bit lighter. 

As the days turned into weeks, Jensen and Y/N continued to navigate their complex relationship. Despite their best efforts to keep things professional, the tension between them was palpable. It was a mix of unresolved feelings and the undeniable chemistry that had always been there. 

One day, the script called for a scene where Soldier Boy, had to kiss Y/N’s character. The day of the shoot arrived. The set was buzzing with activity, and Jensen could feel his nerves building.  

He tried to focus on his lines, on his character, but his thoughts kept drifting back to Y/N and the kiss that was about to happen. Y/N was equally on edge, her mind racing with what the scene would mean for them. 

As they stood on their marks, the director gave them some last-minute instructions. “I want this kiss to be intense, filled with all the unresolved tension between your characters. Make it real.” 

Jensen nodded, glancing at Y/N who was taking a deep breath.  

The scene began, their characters exchanging heated words that gradually turned into a charged silence. When the moment came, Jensen took a step closer to Y/N, his heart pounding. He could see the same mix of anticipation and anxiety in her eyes. 

And then he kissed her. 

The world around them seemed to fade away. The kiss was electric, a spark igniting everything they had been holding back. It wasn’t just a kiss for the scene; it was a release of all the emotions they had been suppressing. They poured everything into that moment, the passion, the confusion, the longing. 

When the director finally called, “Cut!” they pulled away, breathless. The set stayed quiet, impressed by their ‘fake’ passion, but Jensen and Y/N barely noticed. They were lost in each other’s eyes, the intensity of what had just happened lingering between them. 

At the end of the day, she asked Jensen to talk to her in her trailer.  

She immediately asked the inevitable question. “Jensen,” Y/N began, her voice trembling slightly. “What was that?” He ran a hand through his hair, still trying to process his own emotions. “I don’t know. I mean, I do...” 

He looked at her “It’s everything we’ve been feeling but not saying.” She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. “I’ve been trying to move on, to just be friends, but it’s so hard. Seeing you every day, remembering what we had...” 

Jensen took her hands in his, his heart aching. “I feel the same way. I thought keeping things professional would help, but it hasn’t. Maybe we need to be honest about what we’re feeling, about what we want.” 

Y/N looked into his eyes, searching for answers. “What do you want, Jensen?” He took a deep breath, he reached out, cupping her face in his hands. The warmth of his touch sent shivers down her spine. Her breath caught as he leaned in, his eyes closing, and then his lips met hers. 

The sensation was overwhelming. His lips were soft, yet firm, moving against hers with a tenderness that made her knees weak. There was a gentleness in his kiss, a careful exploration that spoke of unspoken feelings and deep-seated longing. His touch was both comforting and electrifying, sending waves of warmth through her body. 

As his lips moved against hers, Y/N felt a rush of emotions: relief, passion, and an intense connection that she had been yearning for. The world around them seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them in that moment.  

The kiss deepened, Jensen’s hands sliding to the back of her neck, pulling her closer. She could feel his heart beating as wildly as hers, their breaths mingling, creating a symphony of intimacy. 

His lips tasted faintly of mint and something distinctly him, a flavour she realized she had missed more than she knew. The softness of his lips contrasted with the slight roughness of the stubble on his jaw, creating a delicious friction that sent sparks through her. 

Y/N melted into the kiss, her hands moving to rest on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her fingertips. It was a kiss that spoke of promises, of all the words they hadn’t said, of the possibilities that lay ahead. It was a kiss that felt like coming home. 

When they finally pulled apart, both breathless and slightly dazed, Jensen rested his forehead against hers, his eyes still closed, as if savouring the lingering sensation of their kiss. Y/N opened her eyes slowly, looking up at him, her lips tingling from the intensity of their connection. 

“That,” Jensen whispered, his voice husky with emotion, “is what I want. You. Us. Together.” Y/N didn't need to say anything more. She answered him by closing the small distance between them and kissing him again, pouring all her emotions into the gesture. 

She let her fingers thread through his hair, feeling the soft, slightly tousled strands slip through her fingers. The sensation was intoxicating, grounding her in the reality of the moment, yet making her feel as if she were floating. 

Jensen responded immediately, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer until there was no space left between them. His hands were strong yet gentle, one settling on the small of her back while the other moved up to rest between her shoulder blades. The warmth of his touch seeped through her clothes, making her skin tingle with anticipation and delight.  

The kiss deepened, becoming more urgent and fervent. She could feel the intensity of his desire, mirrored by her own. His lips moved with a rhythm that spoke of both passion and tenderness, making her heart race and her knees weaken. 

Y/N’s fingers tightened in his hair, eliciting a low, pleased sound from Jensen that vibrated against her lips. The way his hands explored her back, his fingers pressing gently yet firmly, sent shivers down her spine. She felt alive, every nerve ending attuned to his touch, every sense heightened by his presence.  

Jensen’s hands moved, one sliding down to her hip, gripping it possessively but tenderly, while the other traced patterns on her back, leaving trails of fire in their wake. She could feel the heat of his body against hers, the strength in his arms, the steady beat of his heart matching her own frantic pace. 

Jensen guided her gently but firmly until her back pressed against the cool surface of the wall. The contrast between the cold wall and the heat of his body was electrifying. He deepened the kiss, his lips moving with a newfound urgency, his hands never ceasing their exploration. 

Y/N's fingers continued their path through his hair to his neck, scratching her nails  slightly, eliciting a low, appreciative growl from him that reverberated through her body. The sensation was intoxicating, making her heart race even faster.  

She could feel the strength and desire in his hands as they roamed over her body, one sliding down to her thigh, lifting it slightly, and the other tracing the curve of her waist. 

She arched into him, her body responding instinctively to his, pressing closer, needing more. His lips left hers for a moment, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along her jawline and down her neck, each touch sending waves of pleasure through her. 

"Jensen," she breathed, her voice a mix of a plea and a whisper, her hands moving to his shoulders, feeling the muscles tense and flex under her touch. 

He responded with a soft murmur against her skin, his hands gripping her waist tighter, pulling her even closer. His lips found hers again, and this time the kiss was deeper, more intense, as if they were both trying to make up for lost time. 

Y/N felt a surge of emotions: love, longing, passion, all blending into a heady mix that left her dizzy. She clung to him, her fingers digging into his shoulders, she had fought so hard to deny but could no longer ignore. 

When they pulled away for a short moment, both breathless and flushed, Jensen rested his forehead against hers, his eyes closed, his breath mingling with hers. "I don't want to hold back anymore, Y/N." he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. 

Jensen dared to let his hands wander further. His touch became bolder, more insistent, as his fingers slipped under the hem of her shirt, brushing against the soft skin of her back. The feel of her warmth under his fingertips sent a jolt of desire through him. 

Y/N shivered at the contact, her breath hitching. He kissed her again, his tongue teasing hers, drawing soft moans from her lips. She responded eagerly, her hands slipping under his shirt, feeling the hard muscles of his chest and stomach. The sensation of his skin against her palms was electrifying, making her want more. 

Jensen's hands moved to the front of her shirt, slowly sliding up, taking the fabric with them. He hesitated for a moment, searching her eyes for permission. When she nodded, he continued, lifting her shirt over her head and tossing it aside. The sight of her, in just her bra, made his breath catch. 

He leaned in, pressing kisses along her collarbone, moving down to the swell of her breasts. His hands roamed over her skin, the feel of her, the way she trembled under his touch, that was what he craved. Y/N's fingers threaded through his hair again, holding him close, her body arching into his. 

As his hands moved lower, tracing the curve of her waist, he pressed his hips against hers. She felt his bulge, hard and insistent, pressing against her core. The sensation sent a wave of heat through her, making her gasp. Her body responded instinctively, hips tilting to press against him, seeking more of the friction that drove her wild. 

"Jensen," she breathed, her voice filled with need and desire. 

He groaned softly, the sound vibrating against her skin as he kissed his way back up to her lips. "Y/N," he whispered against her mouth, his hands gripping her hips, pulling her closer. The feel of her, the way her body fit against his, was driving him to the edge. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down into another searing kiss. The world around them disappeared, leaving only the two of them, lost in the moment. The feel of his hands on her skin, his bulge pressing against her core, the taste of his kiss, it was everything she had been yearning for. 

Jensen's hands slid to the waistband of her pants, fingers teasing the fabric, testing her readiness. She nodded, her eyes dark with desire, giving him the silent permission he sought. Slowly, he began to unbutton her pants, his fingers brushing against the skin just above her underwear, sending shivers through her. 

His lips found hers, his mouth hot and demanding, as he pushed her pants down, letting them fall to the floor. The cool air only heightened her arousal. Jensen pulled her close, his hands roaming over her nearly naked form, his touch igniting fires wherever he touched. 

Y/N's hands moved to his jeans, fumbling with the button and zipper, eager to feel more of him. She pushed them down, her hands sliding over his hips, feeling the hard muscles beneath his skin. The sensation of his arousal pressed against her through the thin fabric of his boxers made her moan softly. 

They moved together, bodies pressing closer, seeking more contact, more connection. Jensen's hands roamed over her back, slipping under the band of her bra, unclasping it with practiced ease. He pulled the fabric away, baring her completely to his gaze. 

He paused for a moment, taking in the sight of her, his eyes filled with desire and admiration. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. Y/N felt a blush rise to her cheeks, her heart swelling at his words. She pulled him down into another kiss. 

Jensen's hands slid down to her hips, lifting her slightly as he pressed her against the wall, his body aligning with hers. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer, feeling the hard length of him pressing intimately against her. The sensation was overwhelming, sending waves of pleasure through her. 

They moved together, their bodies finding a rhythm, the friction and heat building between them. The world outside faded away, leaving only the two of them, lost in the intensity of their connection. It was more than just physical.  

Jensen felt the heat of their connection, the undeniable pull between them, and knew he wanted to savour every moment. He wanted her, desperately, but he also wanted to take his time, to tease her until she was begging for more. 

With a deliberate slowness, he broke the kiss, his eyes locking onto hers as he began to trail kisses down her neck, over her collarbone, and across her chest. He took his time, exploring every inch of her skin with his lips, his tongue, and his teeth, leaving her gasping and arching into his touch. 

"Jensen, please." she breathed, her voice a mix of desire and anticipation. He smiled against her skin, loving the way she responded to his touch. "Patience," he murmured, his voice low and husky. "I want to take my time with you." 

As he continued his journey down her body, his hands roamed over her curves, caressing her waist, her hips, her thighs. Each touch was gentle but firm, sending shivers through her. When he reached the waistband of her underwear, he paused, looking up at her with a question in his eyes. 

She nodded, her breath coming in short, shallow gasps, her eyes dark with need. "Please, Jensen," she whispered, her voice trembling. That was all the encouragement he needed.  

With a slow, deliberate motion, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties and began to slide them down her legs, his eyes never leaving hers. The cool air against her heated skin made her shiver, and the look of desire in his eyes made her heart race. 

Once he had her completely bare before him, Jensen moved to his knees, his hands gently parting her thighs. He took a moment to admire her, his eyes filled with a mixture of awe and hunger. 

Then he leaned in, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of her inner thighs, kissing and nipping his way higher, closer to where she ached for him the most. The sensation of his mouth on her skin was exquisite, each touch sending waves of pleasure through her body. 

Y/N's hands found their way into his hair, her fingers tangling in the soft strands, pulling him closer. She could feel the heat of his breath against her core, the anticipation building to an almost unbearable level. 

Finally, Jensen's lips found her most intimate spot, and he began to tease her with his tongue, flicking and swirling, tasting her. The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and longing that made her cry out. He took his time, exploring every sensitive spot, driving her wild with need. 

He alternated between gentle, teasing licks and more insistent, focused movements, his hands holding her thighs apart, keeping her open to his ministrations. Each touch, each flick of his tongue, sent jolts of pleasure through her, building the pressure inside her higher and higher. 

Y/N's breaths came in ragged gasps, her body trembling with the intensity of the sensations. "Jensen, please," she begged, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I need you." 

But Jensen was relentless, determined to bring her to the edge and beyond. He increased the pace, his tongue moving with a purpose now, drawing her closer and closer to the peak of pleasure. Her moans grew louder, her grip on his hair tightening as she felt herself hurtling toward the edge. 

When she finally came apart, it was with a cry of pure ecstasy, her body arching, her thighs trembling as waves of pleasure washed over her. Jensen held her through it, his tongue never stopping, drawing out every last bit of her orgasm until she was left breathless and shaking. 

Only then did he pull back, his eyes dark with desire as he looked up at her. He rose to his feet, his body pressing against hers, his arousal evident. He kissed her deeply, letting her taste herself on his lips, the intensity of the moment leaving them both breathless. 

"Now," he whispered against her lips, his voice filled with need. "I want you, Y/N. All of you." She nodded, her eyes filled with a mixture of love and desire. "I want you too, Jensen. Always." 

With that, he lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist, and pressed her back against the wall. The feel of him, hard and ready against her core, sent another wave of heat through her. 

As he finally entered her, the sensation was everything they had both been yearning for. The connection, the intimacy, the pure, unadulterated pleasure—it was overwhelming. They moved together, their bodies finding a rhythm, each thrust, each movement bringing them closer to the edge. 

Their moans filled the air, a symphony of passion and need. Y/N's body responded instinctively to every touch, every movement, as Jensen guided them both toward a crescendo of pleasure. 

The feeling of Jensen inside her was exquisite, a perfect mix of fullness and friction that sent waves of ecstasy through her. Every thrust was deliberate, filled with a mix of tenderness and urgency. She felt the heat of his body against hers, the slick slide of their skin, the delicious pressure building with every movement. 

Jensen's touch both possessive and reverent. He held her thigh firmly around his hip, guiding their rhythm, his fingers digging into her hips, pulling her closer, deeper. The sensation of his strength, the way he controlled their movements, only heightened her arousal.  

His breath was hot against her skin, his lips brushing against her ear, her neck, whispering her name like a sacred mantra. She could feel the tension coiling tighter and tighter within her, a spring wound to its limit, ready to snap. 

Her core pulsed with every thrust, the friction sending sparks of pleasure shooting through her nerves, building into a firestorm of sensation. The pressure was almost unbearable, a sweet agony that demanded release. Each moan, each gasp, was a release of that pressure, the pleasure that consumed her. 

Y/N felt herself teetering on the edge, the pleasure building to an almost unbearable peak. With a final, deep thrust, Jensen sent her spiralling over the edge. Her body convulsed, waves of pleasure crashing through her, a symphony of sensation that left her breathless and trembling.  

Her cry of ecstasy filled the air, mingling with Jensen's own guttural groan as he found his release, their bodies shuddering together in the aftermath of their shared climax.  

They clung to each other, riding out the waves of pleasure, their breaths mingling, their hearts beating in sync. The intensity of the moment, the profound connection they shared, left them both reeling, basking in the afterglow of their passion. 

As the sensations slowly subsided, Jensen held her close, his hands gentle now, soothing, as if grounding them both back to reality. Y/N buried her face in his neck, inhaling his scent, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath her lips.  

“That was...” Y/N whispered trying to catch her breath “Yeah” he answered.  

Jensen couldn't tear his eyes away as Y/N moved around the room, slipping into a more comfortable outfit. Even in the simplest of clothes, she radiated beauty and grace, and he found himself captivated by her every movement. 

Unable to resist the pull any longer, he rose from the couch and crossed the room to her. As she finished adjusting her outfit, he reached out, gently taking her hand and pulling her towards him. She went willingly, a soft smile playing on her lips as he led her back to the couch. 

Once they were seated, Jensen couldn't help but pull her close, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. Y/N melted into his embrace, resting her head against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her ear. 

His touch was gentle as his fingers traced patterns on her shoulders, the simple gesture sending shivers of pleasure down her spine. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his warm, strong arms around her, the comforting weight of his body against her. 

Jensen's touch moved to her hair, his fingers threading through the soft strands, massaging her scalp in a way that made her sigh with contentment. It was a simple gesture, but it spoke volumes of the tenderness and affection he felt for her. 

They stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other's arms, lost in the comfort of their embrace. There were no words needed, no explanations necessary. In that moment, all that mattered was the warmth of their connection, the shared intimacy.  

And the knowledge this was where they belonged.

Together.

--

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@muhahaha303

@cevansbaby-dove

@angelbabyyy99

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@globetrotter28

@jackles010378

@hobby27

@call-me-mrs-wincheste

@yvonneeeee

[iamyourdailydoseofbi]

the platonic little sister relationship aegon has to someone like reader 😭 i hope we can see more, but like without the darkness of house of the dragon nor gore of it, just aegon ii staring at his little sister and vowing the world and even the throne for her, relinquishing it the first chance that he gets to rhaenyra whilst in tears holding his littlest sister 😭 he wishes no throne, no treasures, no liquor, only her safety and nothing more. i can imagine him trying to escape with her to the free lands because she is the only good in his world and he’d be damned if he let otto try and spoil the only kindness that the gods have give him. i can also imagine him stowing away on his dragon and flying on dragonback to the blacks to proclaim his loyalty with little reader bundled up in his cloak. i can imagine him fiercely protective but also relenting when he knows she is happy, being by her side as her older brother and uncle to her children to whomever it may be 😭

(sorry for the long anon, i just wish to see more 😭)

- familial issues anon 😔

THE HISTORY BOOK ON THE SHELF. ( HOTD x READER ) [ Pt. 2 ]

author notes: I promise, I'm gonna write a fluffy part 3 after this.. pairing: King Aegon ii Targaryen x Younger Sister! Reader ( Platonic ) prompt: When Blood and Cheese attack, the feeling of being safe in the Red Keep dies along with your sweet nephew and son. word count: 1, 000+ words

The night of Blood and Cheese, you had wandered into the children's bedchamber. Something pulled you from your dreams, telling you that the children needed you. You did not know a thing. The night was quiet and cool, the gentle pouring of rain filling the air. Everyone was safe and content. No harm could come to any of you with Vhagar in the City. But, as you got closer and closer, blissfully unaware.

You did not know the horrors that awaited you. Helaena held at knife point, her eyes so wide and full of silent horror. Your son cuddled up next to Jaehaera and Jaehaerys like he always did, all three of them dead asleep and unaware. Two men, one tall and imposing. The other thin and chuckling like a mad man. A debt they said, "A son for a son."

A son for a son. A son for a son. The world that that point is going silent and you think of was, why? Why? Why? Why?

You don't remember much of anything, no matter how much you tried to, just the muffled screams and sound of flesh being cut. You stumbled and wandered down the empty halls of the Red Keep, a dead look on your face. A thousand unspoken words on your tongue.

A son for a son. A son for a son. A son for a son. A son for a son. Where the fuck were the guards? Where were the maids? Where was everyone? They liked to snoop, so why this time were they gone?

You did not know when Helaena had departed from your side. You just vaguely remembered bumping into one of Aegon's friends, the drunken smile on his face falling. His face went pale and a stuttered call for Aegon.

Staring dead at the man, you could not remember his name, just that he was kind and one of Aegon's friends. Feeling your bottom lip wobble, you tried to hold back the sobs, emotions bubbling up. Feeling familiar hands on your shoulder, you dreadfully become aware of the wetness in your nightgown, though it was not your monthly blood or rain that soaked the linen. The realization trickled in that it was blood sinking in. Blood. Jaehaerys blood. Your son's blood.

"Hey, hey, hey. Look at me, look at me, not the blood. Tell me what's happened." A voice faintly orders, "Y/n, look at me. Look at me."

Blinking back the tears that bubbled up, your vision clears up, seeing Aegon standing right in front of you. He reeks of strongwine. But, the look on his face was deadly sober. Seeing his lips moving, you couldn't hear him, the haunting sound of Jaehaerys and your son slowly being beheaded still ringing in your ears. Son for a son. A son for a son. Jaehaerys was just a boy. He was barely six years old. A baby. Helaena's baby. Your boy was a year his younger, only five.

"You weren't there. Why weren't you there?" You hiccup, "You were always there. Why weren't you there?!"

"Y/n?"

"You said you'd be there if we were in trouble. That⎯That⎯That if we need you, you would be there. Why weren't you there? Why weren't you there?!" You scream out, your pained voice echoing loudly.

"Who's blood is that? Where is your son?" Aegon asks, his face and voice of panic.

Son for a son. A son for a son. Son for a son. A son for a son. Your son. Why him? He wasn't Aegon's heir. He wasn't Aegon's son in any way. He wasn't anyone's but your own. Your baby. Your sweet baby. Why did they pick him? He was no threat. He was just sleeping. He wasn't harming anyone.

"Gods damn it, Y/n! Where is your son?! Where is he?! Who's blood is that?" He demands, "Tell me, tell me."

"The...They took his head..The boy...My boy..Blood..He's in the bed...They came from the walls..Helaena.." You choke out, not able to properly string together a sentence.

Bursting into a fit of tears, the throne exploded into chaos the moment tears were spilled, orders and demands being spouted out to anyone in ear shot. Why? Why? Why? The Red Keep was safe. Aegon told you it was safe. It was supposed to be safe. That they would not dare to harm any of you. It was supposed to be safe.

'You will never have to marry again. You and your son are under my protection. No harm shall come to you whilst you stay in the Red Keep, sweet sister. I swear upon it.' He had said, tucking back a strand of hair from your face.

'No harm shall come to you whilst you stay in the Red Keep, sweet sister. I swear upon it.'

'No harm shall come to you whilst you stay in the Red Keep, sweet sister.

'No harm shall come to you...I swear upon it.'

When did your big brother become such a fucking liar?

Watching you collapse to the ground, Aegon swiftly follows you to the ground, cuddling you close to his chest. He may have been a little tipsy, but now he was dead sober. You stumbled in, looking more like a ghost than a person. Your hair down, you always loved to leave it down when going to bed. Your nightgown, white with little butterflies sewn into the hem, now stained in blood. Who's? He did not know and dreaded finding out.

Stroking your hair tenderly, he prayed, truly prayed for the first time since his youth. Not for your safe return home. Not for his Father's love or a fragment of his time. Not for the Seven to rid him of all the bad in him. He prayed that you were just spouting out about some nightmare. That this was just like all those times in your youth, when you'd sneak into his chambers. A whimpering mess, spouting about the monster under your bed.

"It's just a dream. It's just a dream." Aegon tries to reassure, not sure if he was trying to convince you or himself.

"Aegon, what⎯what⎯what do we do?" One of his friends stutters out, a shell shocked look on his face.

"Get the fucking guards! Wake the fucking Keep up! Damn it!" Aegon bellows, his face flushing red from anger.

Struggling to figure out what to focus on, he couldn't keep up as the Red Keep seemingly exploded. Guards are everywhere. Orders being spouted out. He wasn't sure if his voice was one of them. It was all just a blur. This could not be real. This had to be a nightmare or a figment of his drunken mind. Soon enough he would awake. You'd come into his chamber's like you do every morning, warning him that your Mother was on her way. Yes, yes, that was it. He would wake up and everything would be good.

"Aegon. Aegon." Someone calls out for him, his grip tightening on you instinctively.

"Your grace, the Prince Jaehaerys and Prince⎯" A guard stops speaking, the look on his face enough to make his blood cold.

"No, they are alright. Tis' just a minor wound, no?" Aegon shakes his head, not wanting to think of the worse. "Just a bloody nose or.."

"Your grace.." The guard shakes his head, "I am afraid tis' more grave than a bloody nose."

Feeling tears bubbling up in his eyes, he shakes his head, laughing bitterly in disbelief. This could not be true. This had to be some jest. Some dream of his. There was no way that his son and your own were dead. The Red Keep was safe. Rhaenyra would be a fool to attack with Vhagar flying above. Hearing your wails grow louder and more heart wrenching, it felt like the world just fucking snapped. Tears of sadness morphing into red hot anger. His face hardening.

They killed your son. They killed his son, his heir. They fucking made you cry. They made you and Helaena watch. Fuck the peace treaty. Fuck being kind and being cordial. Fuck doing this the proper way. Fuck all of them. He'd killed them. He'd kill them all for this. He'd kill anyone who dared to do this. He'd fucking murder all of their bloodline for this. This was war. This was fucking war.

"I'll kill them! I'll kill them all! Traitor's and murderer's!"

---

@lovelykhaleesiii

@fragileheartbeats

@nightvers

@zaldritzosrose

[anifever]

can you pls do an outsiders x Nerdy fem reader? Like, braces boy band fangirl who rants about comics type. Would rather have it being Curtis sister reader but you can do whatever, tyy <33

Gang w/ a Nerdy!Reader ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The Outsiders x Fem!Reader

୨୧ : The Curtis gang with a nerdy reader

A/N : This is kinda bad bcs I get unmotivated to write sometimes but I swear I’m trying omg. Also I didn’t do Curtis sister simply so it’d be more ambiguous, sorry 💔 Anyways this is literally me except I just don’t have braces anymore

˖⁺‧₊˚ 👓 ˚₊‧⁺˖

Darry

୨ You cut pics of The Rolling Stones members, etc out of the newspapers he reads and keep them

୨ He’s confused at first then he’s like “Oh..” when he realizes what’s happening- he doesn’t mind tho

୨ You write the dumbest little notes/pickup lines and put them in his lunch bag for work

୨ He doesn’t understand most of them but he likes them regardless

୨ He read comics here and there when he was a kid, but he definitely doesn’t anymore 😭

୨ He’s always arguing with Pony about those things and just doesn’t really get it

୨ Even though he doesn’t understand yours and Pony’s infatuation with stuff like that, he thinks it’s nice you’re able to bond with each other over it

୨ At some point you convince him to watch one of your favorite sci-fi type tv shows with you whenever he isn’t busy

୨ It’s a pipeline of him saying he doesn’t like it, pretending he doesn’t like it, then being really invested in it

୨ Anyways, even if your interests don’t exactly line up, you still love each other

୨ You rambling over stuff all the time honestly helps him forget about the stress in his life

Two-Bit

୨ He has no room to talk when his favorite show is still Mickey Mouse at the age of 18 and a half

୨ He thinks it’s cute in an endearing way

୨ He makes fun of you a bit but he doesn’t mean it seriously- that’s just how he is

୨ You guys discuss superheroes together and get way too in depth about it

୨ When he sees your room for the first time there’s like little figurines everywhere, etc and he’s just like “Huh, I have that one too” while pointing at the Hulk or something

୨ He doesn’t gaf, at least it’s clean unlike his

୨ If you have braces, he’s absolutely making jokes about it

୨ You’re getting called metal mouth but it’s out of love I promise

୨ He doesn’t let other people make jokes about it though

୨ Like that’s his job!!! Leave his girl alone!!!

୨ This man defends you with his life I’m so serious

୨ Anyways, whenever he gets super drunk and he starts rambling the exact same way you do normally so it sort of evens you out

୨ Idk what else to even say because you both just make so much sense- it seems so obvious

Steve

୨ I hate to say it, but he calls you brace-face

୨ Ironic because he needs some himself!!! 😊

୨ You said something along those lines to him once and he was so caught off guard and offended

୨ Even though he’s a smartass and you’d figure he’d be mean abt it, I feel like he’s probably kinda the same as you- at least when he was younger

୨ Bro knows his DC and Marvel lore

୨ You guys are constantly re-watching ‘Godzilla’ together

୨ There’s probably a picture of him from when he was younger dressed as it for Halloween or something too

୨ You have made him go to a concert with you

୨ He didn’t even really care about you freaking out over the guys, he was more upset that you chose The Beach Boys of all people

୨ He considers it “Soc music”

୨ You most likely don’t understand anything about cars

୨ He could sit there for hours trying to explain stuff to you and it just won’t click

୨ He’s like “How can you remember every fucking Beach Boys song but not what an exhaust does??”

୨ Okay you probably aren’t that dense but still

Dallas

୨ Yeahhh, he’s making fun of you

୨ It’s out of love tho 😇 most of the time..

୨ You constantly make references about comics and shows and he has no clue what you’re talking about

୨ You use the word kryptonite around him and he’s like “..What the HELL did you just say to me?”

୨ Most of the things you ramble about, he doesn’t understand, like, at all

୨ Much to his dismay, he can’t help his features from softening when he watches you do it

୨ You definitely gives him a break from all the reckless crazy stuff he does

୨ You use so many big words (they usually aren’t that crazy) and he’s just like “Could you speak English?”

୨ When he first went inside your room, it was covered in posters from movies like ‘Dracula,’ ‘Creature from the Black Lagoon,’ ‘Psycho,’ ‘Frankenstein,’ ‘The Birds,’ etc

୨ At first he was like “Jesus…” but really he thought it was pretty cool

୨ You guys are horror movie enjoyers⁉️

୨ You’re probably more of a geek over them than he is, but it’s just barely (he’d never admit it)

Soda

୨ You definitely fangirl over The Beatles and it lowkey hurts his feelings

୨ You have to be like “Soda.. you literally look like a movie star why are you worried-”

୨ Yes you know Paul’s blood type, time of birth, and who his fourth cousin twice removed is; so what? 🙄

୨ Knowledge-wise you balance each other out

୨ You have amazing grades in all your classes and he’s dropped out 🤍 but on the other hand, you are not very street smart

୨ Like if you have a gun held to your head, let’s hope they’ll ask you trivia about ‘The Twilight Zone’ for your freedom

୨ Anyways, he tries to keep up with and understand the stuff you talk about

୨ Give him time 💔 he’s trying

୨ He probably already knows a bit from having grown up with Pony, but it’s still nothing crazy

୨ He carries around extra wax for your braces in his pocket in case they ever start hurting you (idk if they were invented yet in the 60’s but let’s pretend)

୨ Throws wrenches and things like that at Steve if he says stuff about you

୨ You get pretty insecure since he’s so popular with girls and they usually aren’t like you; but he’s always reassuring you over it

Johnny

୨ You guys read comics together

୨ He’s a spider-man lover and I’ll die on this hill

୨ Someone write Johnny Cade spider-man au rn

୨ He’s constantly telling Dallas to “lay off” when he says stuff about you

୨ Finds your braces cute- he thinks they just add to your charm

୨ Anything that helps him somewhat escape reality, he enjoys; he gladly talks about nerdy stuff with you

୨ He gets along with Pony so well and he has most of those interests, and it’s the same way with you

୨ You guys sit in the lot and stargaze constantly; each time you point out and name the constellations along with explaining their backstories

୨ He listens with a fond smile on his face every time

୨ He thinks it’s cool you’re able to remember all of that

୨ You’re both just so cute I’m crying

୨ Whenever he comes over, he always admires the figures, posters, books, etc you have around your room

Pony

୨ Idc his ass is also a nerd

୨ Maybe not in the exact ways you are, but he definitely still is

୨ You help him in certain classes he’s not doing well in which he is extremely thankful for

୨ You guys also read comics together 😋

୨ Usually you make him read them out loud though since you love his voice and also think he’s good at the sound effects

୨ That being said, you both give each other book recommendations

୨ You guys go to the drive-in/theater together constantly and have heavy debriefings over all of the movies (mainly the sci-fi ones)

୨ You guys are both big fans of Elvis

୨ He’s a fan music-wise, you’re a fan of literally everything

୨ You’ve seen every single one of his movies. Multiple times.

୨ Definitely makes him a little jealous but he tells himself it’s not a big deal

୨ He can’t even be mad at you geeking out when he preforms on TV, he understands

୨ All that being said, you guys actually go really well together

[axcel-lucci]

Law's adventures with male!reader.

A/n: he might be a bit ooc here, and this is pure smut. Don't get too involved and don't blame if suddenly "dick"

My masterlist

Tags: @lawomi @makemake22

The heart pirates was mostly known for their submarine and captain. But they're also known specifically for this one male individual in their group.

His skin was healthier than any man you could've met, his hair was waist long and yet was silky smooth and shiny, his eyes were piercing and cold, his whole physique gets the women (and men) rolling in the dirt.

It just so happens he has a lip ring and loves to wear a sleeveless bodysuit of any kind (more specifically, the kind that has it's waist showing).

The crew had him as their "model" for some reason while Bepo as their "mascot" when it comes to whatever gathering they were invited to.

It doesn't help that the man has a deep monotone voice and a professional expression wherever he goes.

And around this time their captain, Trafalgar Law, was questioning his own sexuality.

Because this so called demigod of a man is so damn perfect he could think "damn, that's my type."

Shachi and Penguin teased him endlessly for it, too. But Bepo just told him to try and explore his own needs and wants. After all, when have they ever seen that man relax?

So this all comes to today, when Law has enough courage to confront his feelings, albeit in a mean way.

(Y/n) knocked on the door of his captain's office and went in.

"Good morning, captain" he bowed politely with his usual monotone voice and professional expression, "sir Bepo said you called me to discuss something?"

Law looked up from his apers, that he hoped would distract him a little bit, and nodded. "Yes, sit here"

(Y/n) nods before quietly sitting on the chair in front of his desk

"Have your injuries healed quite nicely?" He asks

"Well, other than a few scars, they have healed as planned" (y/n) answered almost diligently.

"I see..." Law muttered, "your clothes... How does that feel?"

(Y/n) hummed as he remembers he was wearing his signature body suit today but this time with a "boob window" and the hips showing. "It's more or less like a second skin, but if you wear it enough times, you won't feel it."

Law nods briefly, "so uhm... Quick question, are you into men or women?"

He could see how taken a back (y/n) was when his usual cold expression was replaced with slightly wider eyes and a small frown, "what... Prompted you to ask me of this, captain?"

"Oh, uh... Nothing..." Law shook his head but decides to be a little bolder from now on.

(Y/n) nods hesitantly, suspicious of his captain's question.

Law stood up from his seat and walked around the desk only to stand in front of (y/n), it confuses him a bit but thought nothing of it.

But when Law placed his hands on both sides of the arm chair, (y/n) knew something was up.

"I was just having an observation, you know?" Law cursed himself inside and was screaming bloody murder

He sighed inwardly before standing up from his seat.

It startled Law as he stepped back in shock. (Y/n) being a few centimeters taller than him didn't help, his eyeline was to (y/n)'s chin.

Eventually, (y/n) placed both his hands behind Law on the desk on both sides which made him trapped between the desk and (y/n), he could practically feel the edge of the desk bite into him at how much (y/n) pushed into him.

"What exactly are you planning here, captain?" (Y/n) says as he glared down at Law.

"I'm just... T-testing something..." Law stammered.

(Y/n) sighs softly before leaning down so low the other could feel his warm breaths against his neck, "testing what, exactly?" He whispered against his ear, his deep monotone voice practically giving shivers, "are you perhaps testing my patience? If so, it is running dangerously thin, captain."

Law could feel himself lose composure but toughs it out considering he puts himself in this position, "so? What'd happen if it runs out?"

'cocky...' (y/n) thought before rolling his eyes, "wouldn't you like to know?" He smirked as he places a light kiss on the other man's neck and his hands that were on the desk were now on the others bare hips, under his shirt, and squeezing them just right, "do you really want to know?"

Law stopped himself from gasping when (y/n) kissed his neck and sighed shakily when he felt the calculated squeeze on his hips, "y-yes, I... I do..."

(Y/n) bit his neck just hard enough to leave a mark, "good thing I locked the door." He then kissed the area delicately, "hold that pretty mouth of yours, captain."

Law bit his lip when (y/n) bit his neck but can't help it when he rolled his eyes back in pleasure, "I-i will..." He breathed unevenly.

"Just relax, let me do the work." (Y/n) grinned widely before placing his hands under Law's thighs and lifting him into the desk. Law gasped audibly at the sudden action and, as if they've done this before, his arms circled around the other's neck.

"Don't worry, I've got you... I won't hurt ya." (Y/n) reassures him before kissing him in which he obliged readily.

Soon, the kiss turned into something hot and heavy with (y/n) leading him on as his tongue dove straight and down his throat in which Law could feel himself moan.

While they kissed, Law can't help but grip into (y/n)'s broad shoulders and (y/n)'s hands can't help but explore under the other's shirt.

(Y/n) pulled away briefly as a thin string of saliva continued to connect them before it eventually disappears as they dove in for more.

Law could feel a pair of hands unbuttoning his shirt and removing them then throwing it somewhere to land on the floor. He obviously didn't care and only pulled (y/n) closer.

(Y/n) broke the kiss and moved down to kiss his chest, right above his heart. Peering up at him, he was flustered at the gesture. "Mind if I use your chair?"

"My... What?"

(Y/n) looked behind him, he was talking about his office chair.

"Oh... Uh... Sure?" He muttered.

(Y/n) removed himself entirely and walked around the desk to sit at his chair. Law could only watch as if this was all natural to the other man.

Soon enough, (y/n) beckoned Law to come over with a small tilt of his head and a sly grin. It sent shivers up the poor man's spine as he immediately jumped off the desk and walked around to be in front of the other.

"You're quick." (Y/n) compliments as he pulls him closer and undoes the belt of his pants, "but not quick enough."

Law gasped when (y/n) suddenly pulled everything off in one tug. With a look, he straddled over (y/n) 's lap.

"This is so unfair." Law muttered as he sat on his lap, feeling the slight bulge against his work pants.

"What's unfair...?" (Y/n) hums softly as he sits up and places his head on the other's shoulder, peering down as he placed his free hand on his thigh.

"The fact that you're fully fucking clothed."

"Oh, that." (Y/n) snickered to himself before leaning back, "fun fact. This body suit is a clip-on."

(Y/n) Shrugged as he reached down his pants and unclipped the suit before taking it off, showing his delicious specs, making Law's mouth water.

With a scar here and there, he doesn't want it any other way.

"Say, do you have lube here? Condom, at least. I don't want to hurt you." (Y/n) says, snapping Law back to reality as (y/n) looked around his desk.

"U-uhm... Bottom drawer..." Law shyly said as he buried his face into (y/n) 's shoulder.

"Found it." He said as he pulled out a small bottle of lube, "the fact that you have this in here says you were expecting this, weren't you? That or you please yourself in front of your papers. Either way..."

"S-shut up...!"

"Hmm... Sure." (Y/n) puts some on his hand, specifically his fingers before placing the bottle on the desk.

His free hand gripped Law's shoulder as the other went and rubbed some lube on his ass. It made Law gasp at the sheer cold of the liquid before feeling his fingers slowly pushing in, stretching him out as much as possible.

Law can't help but moan softly as he felt the fingers in his ass start going in and out in a slow pace, he could only arch his back when their pace started going faster inside him and going knuckles deep, brushing against his own prostate.

(Y/n) can't help but lick on his nipple that was exposed, licking it then biting before sucking on it.

Law could feel a sudden warmth inside his body despite the coolness of his office, the only sounds he could hear is the wet squelching noise and (y/n) 's small hums as he played with his nipples.

"(Y/n) -ya, I'm- ah~..." Law softly moaned as he felt a certain knot inside him build up.

"Let go, Captain." (Y/n) says as he continues thrusting his fingers knuckles deep inside in an ungodly fast pace.

Law could feel himself tighten around the other's fingers as his eyes rolled to the back of his head when he came harshly.

He was panting heavily as he leaned back against the desk for support.

(Y/n) took the time to slip his fingers out and see the liquid white art Law did on his abdomen. "Do that again."

"Wh-... What...?"

"I said... Do that again." (Y/n) said as he looked at law with his usual cold expression, "i wanna see."

"I-... Ugh..." He groaned before gasping when he felt a hand suddenly grip his cock and starting to jerk him off.

(Y/n) continued to do so as Law becomes a panting mess until he came. His white seed spurting on his abs as it was painted by the same liquid from earlier.

With a free hand, (y/n) scooped up some of Law's cum on his finger and tasted it. "You ought to eat healthy, captain."

"W-what do you mean...?"

"Just eat healthy from now on, no more 20 cups of black coffee from now on, yeah?"

"I-... Fine." Law huffed

(Y/n) glared at him before sighing softly and placing his more clean hand on the other's cheek, "I care about you... And I want you to take care of yourself."

"I know..."

"That's out of the way..." (Y/n) huffed as he pulled his pants and boxers down just a bit to pull out his cock. It was thick and Law couldn't even fathom it fitting inside him, "relax. It'll fit. Even if it doesn't, I'm sure there's always a way."

Law could feel his breath hitch at the implication. "Y-yeah..."

"Don't worry, I won't necessarily hurt you."

"I know."

"Good." (Y/n) smiled before kissing him softly, he took this chance to rub lube all over his length and pull Law up to his knees so he could align himself with his hole

"Just... Be gentle..."

"I will, I will..." (Y/n) nods as he slowly pulls Law down.

Law gasped as (y/n) slowly filled him up, forcing him open until he finally sits on his lap with his cock inside him entirely

"That's a good boy, taking me like that... You're so tight." (Y/n) leaned up and kissed his shoulder as he waited patiently for Law to adjust.

"I-... I'm fine... Please move..."

(Y/n) nods as he slowly lifts the other up before pushing him back down, he continues this torturous pace until the pace was fast enough to make Law crazy.

(Y/n) continued to watch with a blank expression as Law bounced almost diligently on his dick. "(Y/n) -! I'm close...!"

"Just... Do it." (Y/n) says as he watched white sperm splash against the lower half of his torso once more, "you came 3 times, i haven't yet. Do you think you can hold on?"

"I-... Give me a minute..." Law panted as he leaned against (y/n), "y-yes... I think I can."

"Just say something if it gets too much and I'll stop, alright?"

Law nods

(Y/n) kissed his head before starting yet another round.

An hour soon passed and Law could feel another load of warm seed deep inside him for the 3rd time.

"God... You look so damn perfect..." (Y/n) grumbled with a slightly flushed cheeks as he held Law closely, holding him for comfort.

Law could feel some of the load leaking out of his still stuffed hole.

"You poor thing..." (Y/n) chuckled softly before standing up with him still inside the other and bringing him to the couch where (y/n) placed Law on and slowly pulled out but held a leg up to watch the warm seed he planted deep to spill out bit by bit.

"(Y/n)..."

"Hm? Oh, right."

(Y/n) got up and fixed himself, which was quite an easy fix, before helping Law clean up and handing him his clothes

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm... Good." Law said as he buttoned up his shirt

"I think... I think I should go, the crew might get suspicious, you know how it is... If... You know, if you want to talk... About this, you know my routine and schedules. Just... Find me when you need me, okay?"

Law smiles and nods, "yeah, I will. Once I recover"

"If you could walk."

They both laughed before (y/n) placed a small kiss on his head and walked away, looking like he did when he first came in

But Law couldn't get a hold of his emotions.

"Fuck... I love him."

[darcytaylor]

I don’t know why but I feel like Luke has lost himself a little in the chaos of being the leading man, and the worldwide tour. I can only speak for myself but I have ADHD like me, and a lot of chaos going on around me sends me on a disruptive path.

This is pure speculation as obviously I don’t know, and never will, but it just feels like Colin’s storyline ie, having a glow up, and travelling has also become very like Luke’s. He knew he was going to be the lead, so started making changes - eating better and investing in a stylist. Along the way he splits up with a long time partner, and I can only speak for myself here, but I not too long ago split with my partner of 6 years, and I’ve needed drastic change in my life. Again this echos what’s been happening imo.

I can only compare, but I do remember seeing people going mad for Corey and India during the press run for Queen Charlotte. I do remember the former saying in an interview that he had a girlfriend, perhaps at the end of the run where he could say things? It just seemed then that he was putting firm boundaries and the speculation was becoming too much for him and India, I do remember comments of them looking distant and purposely standing apart, and the hate he received for bringing her along to a Netflix event in Brazil.

Luke and Nicola had six months of this, and no one will ever know what truly went on, but from the outside looking in it seemed that they were really supporting each other and getting on. This is where the speculation reaches fever pitch - they were very touchy feeling with each other, and would often hold hand. Luke sometimes even seeking Nic out and grabbing her hand to calm his nerves (he says he suffers with anxiety) it’s sweet that they can calm each other down. Nicola does seem like the more confident of the two. All this is happening whilst in the background he has a girlfriend, great. I wish them well, but it’s all sneaky. She attends some events low key - the New York premiere. I do wonder if he wants to be open, keep it private or he’s advised to by Netflix. I don’t think the streamer can actually make them keep them quiet? Corey being open about his relationship says not?

Now I don’t agree with the timing of the hard launch, that’s my problem and not his. I do agree with fans saying that the timing is not good, he could have waited and it gone down so much better. I do feel like it’s slightly disrespectful to Nic, who carried that promo tour imo. People vibed more with him than her. I sincerely hope it was his choice to go public, and it was not forced. I know she was in Milan with him, but it does feel strange that her Mum was with them; your daughter hasn’t seen her boyfriend for a while, and you tag along with them? Feels a little strange to me. Maybe that’s just me, and add in the unconfirmed rumours that the Mum liked fatshaming comments about Nic.

I’m certainly not one to hate on another women for simply being in a relationship, and I really don’t like that side of the fandom that has come out. Regardless, I hope that Luke (and Nicola) keep their feet on the ground, and have people around them who keep them on a healthy and productive path in life.

Thank you for your detailed message!

I do think that it would be hard to navigate the onslaught of fame that Luke would be going through, and some people are able to handle it better than others (Nicola being amazing at it). You can tell that Luke struggles with the fame and knowing what to do and what to say.

I do think he made a lot of mistakes in regards to his relationship and how the whole thing transpired (which really kicked off on New Years). But I will give him a bit of grace since he may not have realized the impact his season of Bridgerton was going to have on people.

It is very funny all of the parallels that can be seen in regards to Colin and Luke, I really wonder if he has admitted that to himself or has even realized?

This may be a hot take, and while I enjoyed Queen Charlotte, I didn't love it. I also didn't follow any of the promotion in regards to Corey and India.

I have said it here before, but I never thought that Luke and Nicola were anything other than friends. You can clearly see the bond that they share, and I can understand why people thing they are more. While I thought their handholding was adorable and you can see the comfort that it gives Luke (and even Nicola), it never occurred to me that they were dating because of that.

I have been working for many years, and I have insanely close relationships with coworkers. Coworkers understand a part of you that nobody ever will! And then to top that off with them having to do intimacy scenes, I can understand why they share a bond (that nobody will probably understand).

The paparazzi pictures on the premier night were terribly timed. It wasn't a good look and I completely understand why there was so much outrage. Then adding fuel to the fire with Milan. I guess they thought that since they were spotted once and it was out in the public, lets just lean into it. Definitely the wrong move! (again another mistake in regards to how they have handled their entire relationship!).

[juminies]

hi, any thoughts on jumin and rika and how he saw her? i love your jumin takes so i'm very interested in hearing your opinion on this

Hi! This is one of those things I've been meaning to talk about forever but never really had the motivation to get around to writing about, so you've opened a door for me to finally attempt to get my thoughts down. Sorry if it's a little muddled or convoluted :')

Disclaimer I will be ignoring the existence of the ssum because even though I know there has been Jumin and Rika related shenanigans over there they are not part of mystic messenger canon to me whatsoever 💜

I have always felt as though when it comes to Jumin and Rika’s relationship in particular a lot of people look at them far too simply without considering, in particular, Jumin’s view on love and human connection in its entirety—the fact that prior to his route he has not witnessed healthy love up close his entire life (including the "love" between V and Rika, even if they seemed good together on the surface). He is, as such, very hesitant to get close to it, and doesn't think about it as a realistic scenario for himself despite his admitted loneliness.

Jumin is very averse to making new connections in general; he struggles socially, is used to being viewed as something people can use for their own benefit rather than his own person, and V is the only real friend he has ever made of his own volition. Consequently his adoration and loyalty for Jihyun were bound to extend to anyone he loved too, and it just so happened that the person V loved was Rika, who confronted Jumin in a way that even his lifelong best friend didn't. There was a level of emotional vulnerability with Rika that V—like Jumin—was uncomfortable expressing, and so she brought out a different (new) side of Jumin. It wasn’t entirely one-sided either, as Rika also confided in Jumin in a way that she admitted she couldn't even to Jihyun at least once. Jumin and V have seemingly always had a tendency to undershare and Rika, as the person closest to them, definitely knew that. So she and Jumin developed this weird little friendship where they were both closer to V than they were to each other, but neither of them could quite confide in him the way they could to one another. She was also one of very few people (especially pre-RFA) who never saw him as just his talent, his position, his wealth. He liked that she saw the ugly parts of him too. She made him feel comfortable and free. He could just be Jumin, not C&R's Jumin Han, you know?

But it’s important to remember when thinking about them that Rika was very likely the first time anyone had ever talked like this with Jumin, and really tried to get him to dig deeper into his own emotions in a way that wasn’t belittling. Jumin represses and has always repressed. He had always tucked feelings he found inconvenient away ASAP, hidden even from himself. But Rika saw him as a person, and intentionally or not she tapped into the parts of Jumin that he tried to hide away and gave him an outlet nobody else had ever really allowed him. It became something that he associated with her and her alone.

I wanted to avoid just throwing big VN chunks in here but this one in particular is so important to deducing their relationship, so I am just going to put the standout parts here ->

Now the thing with Rika is that, the way I see it, it can be difficult to determine what is genuine with her and what isn’t. She didn't have anything to gain from specifically Jumin the way others did, but Rika has this fundamental need for people to see her as good and honest, and she needs to be admired even when she doesn't truly believe she deserves it (or otherwise when she doesn’t truly deserve it). The situation with Saeran aside I don't think that she takes to explicitly or purposefully lying much, but outside of her relationship with Jihyun(?) she is a people pleaser to the highest degree because she seeks constant reassurance that she is not completely evil.

This exchange, for example, has always felt incredibly off to me

because there is something in it that subtly pushes Jumin into a corner in what can be easily interpreted as attempt to seek validation. It happens in a serious conversation immediately after Rika asks if he trusts her and he tells her "of course I do." It feels almost like she's testing him; trying to see how far his loyalty to both herself and V stretches. There's a very real possibility that she knew how highly he held her and attempted to use it to reassure herself. To quietly push him to make her feel desirable—lovable—perhaps? This probably isn't the only time similar occurrences popped up. I don’t think she intended to cheat, and she would have known that Jumin would never betray Jihyun like that anyway, but I do know that she felt unfulfilled with V and it’s not a stretch to say she would seek similar reassurance elsewhere. A little bit like she does with MC in V route, really.

Then there's the projection onto Elizabeth, which is in my opinion a coping mechanism not for Rika's absence specifically but rather for Jumin's general loneliness. This, obviously, was not romantic (the fact I have to clarify this is absurd but I have seen some... interesting takes over the years), but Jumin admits himself that he viewed Elizabeth like a confidant. Him turning to Elizabeth was him knowing that he could not continually go to Rika when he needed emotional support because she quite clearly expressed she wanted him to find it elsewhere, however it makes sense that he struggled to disassociate Elizabeth from Rika when Rika was the only person he felt could see him for what he really is. He was not presented with any other legitimate option. I do feel it’s quite interesting when trying to comprehend how much Rika really cared for him that she seemingly didn’t know the extent of Jumin’s emotional reliance on her.

When all is said and done though, I think that claiming Jumin was in love with Rika is both untrue and far too simple. To be honest I genuinely don't even believe Jumin himself knows how he truly felt about Rika, really. He's the king of burying his emotions and he is loyal beyond belief, so I do think that if there had been romantic feelings for her mixed up in him somewhere (which there very probably were, though a bit warped due to his aforementioned lack of perspective on healthy love) he wouldn't have let himself unpack them enough to realise that's what they were. What he did definitely do, though, was put her on a pedestal as the only woman he felt like he could legitimately trust with anything. At the point where they were the closest every woman before her had either abused him or had an ulterior motive, but Rika was unique. She wasn’t trying to get close to him for sex or connections or monetary gain. She brought out a curiosity in him that nothing and nobody else but V had been able to before. Jumin had so little real, genuine, heartfelt human connection. Of course he was going to get attached to her, but I don't think that he’s lying when he says he didn't even think about it because she was his best friend’s girlfriend. Around the time that he opens up about Rika I cannot see him intentionally lying to MC whatsoever. She was his friend. He trusted her. I actually think the way he feels about Jihyun is incredibly similar to how he felt about Rika.

As a final note, Jumin knowing the truth about V's eyes, along with the assertion that MC is "warm and soft... unlike Rika" are very intriguing. They're the main two things that suggest to me that while he admired her on the surface he quite clearly had some much deeper, more complex feelings about Rika (particularly closer to her "death"), but still chose to put his faith in Jihyun’s judgement rather than doubting Rika while she was around. I think it's very possible that after witnessing the selfless kind of care that MC provides he started to really pick up and reassess the colder side of Rika's behaviour, so to speak. Not even strictly things that happened in bad faith (she did genuinely hold RFA members highly after all), but she has a very twisted view of what is good for both herself and others, and it’s one that Jumin does not mesh with.

[peculiarbeauty]

not to be gay on main but i am going to be gay on main. it's positivity post time !!! i just wanted to shout out a couple amazing people who have become ultra close to me ( or were ultra close in the past and we reconnected hehe ) this is just a few names, i don't have time unfortunately to write a message for everyone on the dash but please please know that you are special to me if you are a follower. this is never in a particular order.

@seachant - NINI i love you. you are such a breath of fresh air. genuinely a twinkling star that just happened to fall in my vicinity. lucky me tbh. thank you for giving me the chance to be friends with you and write on multiple different blogs with you. writing with your ariel here was such a DREAM of mine. i remember seeing your blog around and just adoring it. we did write previously when i wrote in the fandom but we never became close pals like we are now. seeing your posts makes my day. i'm really happy we are friends.

@dragetunge - MY DEAREST KRIS. we've been through a couple rocky roads together now but we stick together. it's really nice to talk to you. you are the reason i got into httyd. so thank you for that. i wouldn't have took the time if it wasnt for you and I REALLY NEEDED TO. you are essentially the dragon enthusiast of tumblr. i mean that like. literally. when i think of dragon enthusiasts i think of you. fgckjkfg I LOVE YOU SO MUCH KRIS. i cant wait to actually show you my island on dreamlight when it is a fully decked out like yours.

@solehr - sef, i miss you. i cant wait for you to come back and see that i wrote this for you kffdjdf i cannot forget you on this list. you and nini were the first disney blogs to welcome me. thank you for being my friend and allowing me to send you that ghibli movie dkffdj it's been such a pleasure knowing you. i hope for many more memories together. :)

@swevene - DEAREST KELSEY .. my belovedddd. i love our convos even when we are busy for an extended period of time. you check on me every so often and its really an honor to consider you a friend. thank you for being there, i really appreciate it. i hope we have many more memories !!! your beast is so important to my belle, i have to tell you. <3

@oudachi - aka my favorite ark .. in all locations of your blogs .. i could tag literally all of them rn but im not going to dkfjdf we joke about how we always come back together over the years. it doesn't really ??? matter how long we don't talk bc fate brings us back. our first meeting was back in 2015 and i remember you were the realest person i had ever met on this site. that has not changed. i think that more folks should understand how brilliant you are .. not only as a writer , but as a friend. you never leave people out. i've been left out before and it's a very terrible feeling. thank you for allowing me into your circle again after a bit of time of not talking. we picked up like it was such a short time of us not chatting like we were bffs again. i can't begin to tell you how grateful i am. seeing you thrive as well OH MAN .. i love that.

@chainmemories - toma, at this point it has to be obvious but when i came back .. you were the first to show me great excitement. making a blog after an extended leave on the site is a scary thing. it is like walking into the lion's den tbh dkfjfk plus there were a ton of big changes to tumblr so i didn't know where to start. it was scary. you wrote cuphead at this time. i've grown to really love cuphead and many other things because of you. playing mario party at least weekly is such a GENUINE pleasure. you make me feel like i have a place in the community. i can't begin to tell you how grateful i am that you are here and backing me up. i also hope that you know you are this shining star of every community you go into. there is not a community you haven't touched that you haven't left your mark on. of course my precious toma is the sunshine protag lover .. but he is also the sunshine protag in my opinion. i don't take criticism. I LOVE YOU.

@ghostbustingreen - spooky, I LOVE YOU. being in the posse with toma and you has been so so wonderful. i am grateful i get to talk to you on the daily about our interests. seeing you write our fav green plumber is wonderful YES YES. every muse you capture is brilliant though. i love writing with you on multiple of your blogs. simbaaaaaaaa. P.S. i am sorry for our latest party shindig where i continued to take the star away from you. i hope you can forgive me. i really hope our group goes strong for a long time because you guys always make me feel so much better.

@dnangelic - HI FAVVVV. thanks for putting up with me changing blogs on you so many times and still deciding to follow me and look forward to my muses. we are SO BACK on haru tbh. i love writing with you. you have such a grasp on your muse and i don't even know him that well. i wish i knew MORE tbh. the things that we have written though are truly precious and i look forward to future threads. i look forward to your responses truly. thanks for being my friend and also always hyping me up.

@matryochka - i cannot forget my favorite hype queen. dottie, you and i met in dc. you decided to follow me on my other blogs and genuinely messaged me when i was inactive there saying pretty much where tf are u dfkdjkfd WHICH I LOVE THAT. i wish more people would show interest in mutuals they care about that way. im trying to recruit you into our disney princess line up . it'll happen i know it. please know i love you so much. our little conversations are everything to me.

@jokethur - jess .. my beloved. also a hype queen and someone i met in dc. i love you. we don't talk too much rn but you are forever important to me. our conversations got me through some really dark points in my life and i can't begin to say how grateful i am for that. i hope that we have many more memories of chatting. always know i am here and ready to chat. we could stop talking for months and pick up just like that. that's how strong our friendship is <333 i love you. AND GIVE DIX A KISS FOR ME.

@pearlcure - DIORRRR my beloved. being your friend is a true genuine pleasure. IT IS PREDESTINED WE MET. we write the best girls out there. good for us. i love our convos and i love how real you are about everything. your graphics, writing, everything ABOUT YOU is amazing. im grateful we are friends and i hope for many more years together !!

@story-magic - AKA ALL OF YOUR BLOGS HERE AS WELL .. but my darling sleepy. i call you sleepy. i know that you have a name but you will forever by my favorite sleepy sloth. you keep things fair for us in the game. if i ever get down on my luck in party, you try to even the odds for me. i am so so grateful to be your friend. i know i don't tell you enough over discord and the like and you leave me a bunch of cute messages to make my day, but BEING YOUR FRIEND IS A TRUE PLEASURE i've gotta tell ya. i'm really happy we are so close !!! <3 i hope for many more memories.

@0brighta - big shoutout to you, ettie. <3 i know we arent super close but you putting me in your little shoutout post made me really feel so grateful. your blog is this shining, brilliant star. i mean that. like, DANG. shine bright like a diamond. i see that people love you and there is a reason for this believe me - you are so pure. so good natured. i wish more people were like you with their mutuals. letting people know that they matter is something a lot of people do not do tbh. you do that. thank you. <3

@naru-uzumaki - NOODLES .. we are back in action after such a long time of not talking. you and i were close back in 2016 i think?? somewhere close to there. when i saw your blog pop back up in my recommended, I LITERALLY RAN TO FOLLOW because i missed you so much. you are still this positive radiant little sun on the dash .. much like your muse. i am bias absolutely but. your writing and your heart for our favorite ramen lover is such a pleasure to witness. never ever change please. <3

[always-a-joyful-note]

I am....so curious about the backstory behind some of the MVs. But Nanatsuiro REALiZE's one has me even more curious because essentially the mv is them all meeting in university(?) and Riku's character suddenly leaving but the parting being a joyful one as they remember they're under one same sky. And like.....is this supposed to be Riku's goodbye MV for the future or what does it MEAN?

[a-shadowedvales]

so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.

i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.

brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” in this case, eleven.

eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.

i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.

maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.

when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.

i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.

when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.

brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.

by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.

due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.

i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.

it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.

also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.

[sysig]

Someone’s looking out for you ♥ (Patreon)

[itspileofgoodthings]

I want to write but it’s just the weirdest flashes of stuff——like the baseball diamond covered in shade behind the local library, the duck I saw from a train window bobbing its head up and down in pond water, just flashing images and sensations that are just piling up inside but I don’t know what to do with.