#I think the main problem is like. I can read a found family into anything.

[littlest-arsonist]

UGH why is found family shit so hard to search for <- has extremely specific tastes and preferences and only checks out new things he’s been eyeing about twice a year on average

[yumeka-sxf]

Thoughts on Spy x Family CODE: White

My thoughts on CODE: White will likely be different from most people since I knew pretty much the entire plot beforehand. I'm a spoiler fiend when it comes to my hyperfixations like SxF, so I read the novelization of the movie back in January and kept up on all the promotional videos and images that were released. But when it was finally time to see the movie for myself, did that ruin my enjoyment? Not at all. For me, it actually made me enjoy it more because 1) I knew what to expect so I wasn't disappointed, and 2) I found myself looking forward to seeing all the scenes I only read about or saw short clips of.

With that said, yes, I enjoyed the movie so much! If you're a Spy x Family fan, or even just a casual enjoyer of the series, it's a ton of fun. It has all the elements we love about the series: clever humor, sweet family moments, and spy action/drama. And because it's a movie, we get to see all of this with a movie animation budget instead of a TV series budget, which is another plus!

One thing to keep in mind with these original, stand-alone anime films based on series is that they're meant for a more general crowd than just fans of the series. Since theaters attract a wider audience than late-night TV and online manga chapters, movies like this serve as a means to introduce the series to people who may only have a vague idea of what it's about. That's why these movies contain a storyline that can fit mostly anywhere in the series chronology and don't have anything canon-altering.

CODE: White is an interesting mix of plots that, for the most part, blend together well. There's the main plot that continues throughout, which is saving Operation Strix by having Anya learn how to make the meremere for the cooking contest, but then there's the Yor jealousy plot B which is resolved in the first half, but is then replaced by the next "plot B" in the latter half of the movie, which is saving Anya from the military.

A lot of people didn't like the "Yor gets jealous" subplot when it was first revealed before the movie even came out, since it seemed to be a rehash of her being jealous about Fiona. I personally didn't have a problem with this since I don't think it's unreasonable for her to get jealous a second time, especially when she thinks she sees Loid doing something extreme like kissing another woman (as opposed to just talking). But the way it was resolved could have been a bit better in my opinion. The ferris wheel scene in the movie very much mirrored the bar scene from the series, but the reason the latter is so effective is because we get to hear Loid's inner thoughts during it; we know he's going full Twilight-mode and isn't being sincere, and that's why Yor kicks him. But then at the park, he talks to her much more genuinely and they work things out. But in the ferris wheel scene, we don't get to hear his inner thoughts so we don't get any indication as to whether his repeating of the marriage vows, etc, is him being sincere or not. Then she smacks him, they insist they aren't fighting when Anya brings it up, and that's the end of it.

I do like the fact that Anya reads their minds and seems happy with what she "hears" in their heads, but I still think the subplot would have felt more complete if it ended after Yor realized her mistake rather than have Loid do the ambiguous Romeo act again. Or it could have been brought up one more time later in the movie, for example, Yor apologizes for hitting him, he talks to her more sincerely, etc. If you're gonna rehash the bar scene, at least rehash the scene that brought it closure, which is the park bench scene. Again, I'm totally fine with the jealously subplot overall, just thought it could have been wrapped up a bit better.

Other than that, there were just a few little issues I had, like how was Anya able to afford what was probably an expensive liquor? (was she really packing that much dough in her little bag? She went straight from the bedroom out the window so it's not like she "borrowed" any money from Loid). Also seemed weird that she didn't pick up on Yor's infidelity worries until last minute. A few things stretched the line of believability a bit far too, like Loid's ability to make perfect masks so quickly, and Anya just happening to hit her head on the button that conveniently opened all the windows on the bridge. Also something here and there that didn't align with the manga, like Yor not having any reaction to sharing a room with Loid, whereas she has a totally different reaction to this in chapter 94. Maybe a bit more resolution for the fates of the villains too. I guess Luca and Dmitri survived the crash, but what about Snidel? Did Loid actually kill him or just knock him out? And if it's the latter, Snidel seems like the type who would want to get revenge. A quick cameo of what happened to them in the end would have been nice.

Speaking of the villains, normally I wouldn't like the fact that they're pretty one-dimensional and not that interesting, but for a movie like this where most people just want to see the Forgers being themselves in fun and exciting scenarios, taking time away from that to make more developed villains who likely won't be seen again in the franchise, would have not been the best choice, lol.

But even though I had some criticisms of the movie, all of them are minor and not enough to overshadow everything else that was enjoyable about it. Besides all the humor, of which there was plenty, there were so many cute "awww" family moments that perhaps didn't lend anything to the plot, but were still important to establish the characters and their relationships, and thus make us care about what happens to them. Like the scene of Anya, Yor, and Bond playing at the hotel...it could have been skipped without anything seeming out of place, but it reveals so much about the characters without being blatant about it: how Yor wants to please Anya despite being a bit embarrassed at first to take part in her game, and then how Anya's eyes light up with happiness when Yor starts playing with her...for a series like SxF that's character-driven rather than plot-driven, scenes like this are so important and I'm glad the film creators realized this too!

There were also so many cute, subtle scenes as well, like when Loid and Yor smile at each other after chiding Anya, as if they're happy to share this moment of exhausting yet satisfying parenting; when Anya reads Loid's mind after he saves her but doesn't reveal what he's actually thinking yet we can imagine what it is based on her expression; Loid showing feelings of comradery with the restaurant owner because their pasts are so similar; Anya quietly and sadly hugging Bond in the bedroom; and in the ferris wheel after Yor feels so embarrassed about misunderstanding what happened with Loid and the woman but then can't help but smile with motherly love when she sees Anya waving at her...the movie is filled with moments like this that are like little love letters to fans who know the true heart of SxF isn't so much the action and spy drama as it is the family relationships.

And of course, as I mentioned before, the animation of the movie is fantastic! Not just the action scenes, which are great by the way, especially Yor's fight with Type F, but the character expressions as well. Anya's always had the most varied and hilarious faces of all the characters, but the movie goes even harder with her expressions, especially when she has to hold in her stool! Her faces were making me both cringe and laugh at the same time! The animators did such a good job making me feel sorry for her but also laugh at her.

I'm not a fan of potty humor, but I was confident SxF would make it funny, and I was right! The poop god sequence in particular was as equally cringe as it was hilarious!

To conclude, CODE: White is a must-see for anyone who likes or loves Spy x Family. I can't say it's a cinematic masterpiece or anything, but for what it's supposed to be - a fun and enjoyable film for those who like the series, it definitely delivers! Can't wait to see it at least two more times during its showing in the US...and more times in the future!

[aryaqua-reh2o]

The Full Moon ending is perfect!

A day in Stolas and Blitzø’s lives that summarises what’s happened so far. 

Blitzø and Stolas are perfectly disastrous in their way and of course, they were going to collide at some point. After brewing for one and a half seasons, the miscommunication between these adorable idiots peaked. Who’s fault is that? Both! And in equal part! I can’t stand reading how many people blamed Blitzø alone. The truth is, they both acted incredibly wrong and also incredibly well for who they are. 

Let’s start with Stolas: he ran out of his happy pills on the most important day of his life (probably). Now, I can’t talk from experience because I never used antidepressants (at least I assume they are antidepressants), but I doubt that skipping one dose turns you into an emotional wreck. But the thing is, Stolas is autistic and I can relate to this and the way he behaved. The pills were something he could rely on to stay afloat probably during his whole sad life, so running out of it first thing in the morning in the middle of an emotional Dinsey princess moment was truly bad timing. Stolas found himself stripped of this little safety blanket. During his song, he gets happy, dramatic, desperate and hopeful. He most likely spent the day in a mood swing, and let’s remember that he wakes up at 7 AM and meets Blitzø at 11:56 PM, plenty of time to panic [Side note, the breakup happens 4 minutes later so at midnight on the dot, I love these little details]. Stolas knows how he feels about Blitzø, he has known for some time, and he’s ready to tell him. If I know a little bit about how a brain on the spectrum works, he most likely had been rehearsing any possible scenarios in his head for hours (or days, or months) and that’s why when Blitzø arrives, Stolas doesn’t say anything to interrupt the other displaying of sex toys, until he decides it’s time to stop Blitzø (that it’s clearly freaking out already at that point) and opens the conversation in the worst possible way ever: “I need it [the Grimoire] back. Permanently”. It seems unnecessarily cruel to just take the book from Blitzø, letting him tear up and beg. But then Stolas pulls out the box with the crystal and we have the Stolitz music playing and… but why make Blitzø cry and not just give him the crystal straight away? Because Stolas was too stuck in his mind already. He played out this scene so many times in his head, that he couldn’t act any different without losing his cool. Don’t get this wrong: from here on I absolutely LOVE how Stolas handled the situation, how he spoke, what he did and said, from kneeling in front of Blitzø, gently holding his hand to calm him down when he was about to panic, and then he gave him the crystal while confessing his feelings for him. Stolas at this point had been in touch and honest with his feelings for months (at least since Ozzie’s from what we can see on screen), but the main problem is that Stolas has no idea of what is going on with Blitzø, so when obviously Blitzø feels cornered and doesn’t want to face his feelings so abruptly and hides behind sex and roleplaying, Stolas loses his control over the situation and closes up for good. Anything that happens between “Do you…Do you have my book Blitzø?” and “That’s enough to know what this is” is a monologue. When Blitzø doesn’t follow the idea Stolas has in his mind, Stolas just walks away. 

And this is VALID because Stolas has never been in a real relationship, he has no friends or family aside from Via, and he doesn’t know how to deal with people with complex emotions like Blitzø. It is quite common for people on the spectrum to assume that everyone else is alike, thinks alike, and responds similarly to certain patterns, so when Stolas doesn’t get the response he was expecting, he immediately reads it as rejection. He turns away from Blitzø and leaves without giving the other any chance other than yelling in anger and despair. 

On Blitzø's side things are more linear. He was and still is in constant… ignorance. Meaning he actively ignores his and Stolas’ feelings. I don’t think he is in denial, because he knows fully well he has feelings for Stolas at least since S1E6 Truth Seekers, he knows he fears intimacy and also craves it. And he most likely knows, at least in part, that Stolas has feelings for him as shown during the exchange with Fizz in Oops (that part was denial, yes). Blitzø knows this night is important and different. They haven’t seen each other for months. He was the one who decided to skip a few rounds when Stolas gave him the opportunity, and if we go with the text exchange in Western Energy, it’s safe to assume they haven’t seen each other since Seeing Stars and probably haven’t slept together since before Ozzie’s. Blitzø’s strategy to deal with his fears and feelings is to let things linger doing nothing in the hope they settle back to where they were when the deal was still new and comfortable. Because Blitzø doesn’t want to admit he has feelings for Stolas, but most of all he doesn’t want to accept that Stolas has feelings for him, because who can love him? Certainly not a prince of all people. Blitzø goes shopping to impress Stolas because he wants to keep staying in that deal, no commitment, no need to reveal his feelings, he could keep going forever, transactional sex is convenient and non-commmittal. (Inadvertently showing, while doing sex shopping, how much he cares for Stolas and how deeply he knows him and what he likes, he wants to make Stolas happy). He wants to go back to sex and show Stolas a “good time” so he doesn’t have to think about how he felt when he realised Stolas could get hurt. He doesn’t want to think about anything, but then, when Stolas takes control of the narrative, Blitzø can only be there and follow it until it gets too overwhelming. He tries so desperately to stick to the habits, to the point he has this massive slip when he tries to give back the crystal to Stolas and says he can always do better. He doesn’t want a way out. He doesn’t want to choose. He loves being in chains because it’s easy. He wants things to stay the way they are, for Stolas to use him as a sex toy, and to be used by him because admitting that he has feelings and that he sees that Stolas has feelings for him is too much. But Stolas clearly states how he feels and what he wants. Blitzø understands perfectly, but he can’t accept it, so he tries in a desperate attempt to get back to where they were, to pretend one more time. Blitzø runs away from the feelings Stolas is showing him in a way that triggers Stolas in the worst possible way. Stolas runs away from Blitzø when he can’t deal with his heartbreak anymore, triggering Blitzø’s fear that translates into an angry outburst. Stolas doesn’t stop for a second and doesn’t listen to Blitzø who is yelling at him to, basically, stop and listen to him. Blitzø says hurtful things to Stolas because he is desperate and he feels rejected and abandoned by him. After avoiding any type of confrontation for months, Blitzø finally gives in, but he’s hurt, angry and terrified so he does the only thing he’s comfortable with: he yells. He doesn’t know of Stolas’ past of being abused by his wife. Stolas just wants out, out of the feeling of being rejected (even if he obviously jumped to the wrong conclusions too fast) and away from yet another person screaming at him. Blitzø only manages to stop Stolas by yelling at him hurtful things he doesn’t fully believe. Unfortunately, Stolas listens to that. And for the first time in his life, he cries in front of someone. Blitzø finally realises how much his words hurt Stolas, but it’s too late to apologise and he finds himself teleported outside mid-apology.

Honestly, I don’t think they could have screwed up any worse than that even if they tried. But this needed to happen and I’m glad it did. Blitzø needed to see Stolas heartbroken to understand Stolas was in love with him. Stolas did the best he could for who he is, he made the first move, and now the ball is in Blitzø’s court. 

I owe Blitz an apology. When speculating on The Full Moon I assumed it was going to end badly and I blamed Blitzø for it. Now that the episode is out I can see that mostly it’s Stolas’ fault. Yes, I said it, it’s predominantly Stolas’ fault if The Full Moon ended in tragedy, but this is important: Blitzø knows Stolas treated him wrong (not only in the last episode, many many times before that) but now he also knows that Stolas can get hurt physically and emotionally, and yes, he proved himself to be a pompous rich asshole that happens to also be deeply in love with him. Is then Stolas worth fighting for? I think we all know the answer. What I hope to see in Apology Tour is the both of them apologizing to each other AND to themselves. Neither Stolas nor Blitzø know what love is. They are trying and failing but in the end, they are both desperate for one another and if Stolas can get his head out of his ass and Blitzø finally drops the act for a minute, they could just… talk and start to figure things out. And maybe in Apology Tour we will know more about what happened with Verosika and why that relationship went South so badly, I bet it’s going to play a huge part in Blitzø’s future development.

[thewater]

genre i love: queer sports

examples:

Haikyuu!!

Creator: Haruichi Furudate

Sport: Volleyball

Medium: Manga + Anime

Queer coded to hell and back with no explicit canon. A popular anime that's very engaging. Whenever I watch it I feel like I should get my life together. It's super good, but fanbase can be a lil weird.

Fence

Author: C. S. Pacat

Sport: Fencing

Medium: 5 collated graphic novels + 2 novels

This one changed my life. I discovered it and haven’t been the same since. It’s cute, the two main characters are oblivious wee things, but there is canon representation in the older characters. Almost (if not all) of these characters are Queer As Hell. It’s brilliant. If you like Golden-Retriever-Sunshine-Boy-with-Troubled-Past x Grumpy-Black-Cat-with-Emotionally-Distant-Parents trope, then you’ll love this!

Check, Please!

Author: Ngozi Ukazu

Sport: Ice Hockey

Medium: 2 graphic novels

I saw this in my local public library once, picked it up, and never (emotionally) put it down. These books started my craving for 2D queer sports. This is what put me onto “Fence” in the first place. It’s canon, it’s sweet, the main character is a cutie, what more could you want?

Free!

Creator: Kyoto Animation

Sport: Swimming

Medium: Anime

I’ll be real, I didn’t finish all the seasons of this,,, the first two seasons slay the house down. But I dunno, guess it just didn’t keep my focus. I also don’t think anything gets canonized later,,, so it’s still just hashtag queer coded :( which is not slay.

AFTG

Author: Nora Sacavic

Sport: Exy (??!)

Medium: 3 novels

Now, you might think, “Exy isn’t a real sport” and you would be correct. Nora invented it for the novel. It’s like if the basics of lacrosse met the violence of ice hockey and it was played on a football (soccer) sized field with a balance of genders on the teams. This nonsense altered my brain chemistry, for better or worse, we will never know. However. If you seem intrigued, and want to read, PLEASE google the trigger warnings. Anything you think could possibly be triggering is definitely in this book. If you don’t want to google for fear of spoils, feel free to message me. These books are simultaneously the best and worst things I've ever had the (dis)pleasure of reading. I love them. They’re terribly written. They’re a mastery of metaphors set on a background of college sports with a mafia subplot. It’s like if a crazy fanfic got published. ALSO short king representation. Main man is 5’3, second main man is 5’0. I love this to pieces and I hate it to nothings.

Yuri on ice

Creator: MAAPA

Sport: Ice-skating

Medium: Anime

You know this one. If you don't, it’s not technically canon, but they buy each other (engagement) rings and kiss (sort of) on screen. Slays. Victor Nikiforov has my heart.

SK8 the infinity

Creaotr: Bones

Sport: Skateboarding

Medium: Anime

This one makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside i love it so much. There's angst and love and found family and tragic backstories and funny characters. Not canon though. Hashtag Japan Definitely Doesn’t Have a Homophobia Problem and That’s Definitely Not Why All of The Anime’s on This List Aren’t Canon. Anyways, it’s really cute and I watched t when i was in my own skateboarding era so i loved it so much.

If i remember more, or watch, or read more, I will add them :)

[bibibbon]

Hi again! So when it comes to friendships in MHA, I tend to notice that most of Class 1-A antics usually centre around mineta and bakugo's behaviour to the class, (Violence and Seggsual Harassment) like they just react to it, but never bother correcting them (Mineta being an exception, but not enough to completely change him).

Like the whole class as whole feels... Empty and stale when it comes to forming new friendships, since they're already established ones, but we never get to see them hanging out with the others. And some of them have potentials like Momo and Deku due to their self esteem issues or Ojiro and Uraraka training together to perfect each other's martial arts.

There's a scene where Momo agrees to tutor the other failing students thats cute as heck and it showcases Momo's willingness to help them improve to become better heroes, and I want more of that.

But with the series ending, I don't think this is even possible to have more that, and it almost comes off as fake to the audience that these are found family, where in reality we barely see them acting as friends. (Teasing has a limit, and making fun of Kaminari's dumb moments when he overcharges his Quirk doesn't count.)

What do you think? Again I don't watch the series full episodes, but I get these impressions from watching cut out moments.

Welcome back anon! Iam guessing that you're the anon who asked for writing advice and honestly Iam hoping that you found the post and the reblogs with advice useful as well. Good luck on your first project and make sure to have fun and take your time with it!

Now getting on to the ask you're somewhat right. Class 1A doesn't have a strong found family dynamic at all and I chalk this up to two main reasons.

The lack of "filler" academic arcs meaning that we don't get a proper focus on what they do as regular teenagers.

There are too many people within class 1A. 20 characters are a lot of characters to develop and make sure that they're all unique with different dynamics.

Due to these two reasons hori's attempts at making 1A seem like a big found family that would do anything for eachother fails and it's also why the the whole "we are all the greatest hero" thing fails and why the vigilante izuku arc feels so underwhelming.

When it comes to class 1A's dynamic they somehow always try to incorporate bakugo into whatever they're doing and sometimes even make him the center of attention which personally seems very weird to me since if someone is being aggressive and doesn't want to join I (and most people) would probably leave them out and let them be by themselves.

Mineta on the other hand is someone that's behaviour (like bk) continually goes unchecked by both students and teachers until mina tortures him into stopping. I get that this is supposed to be a gag scene but it honestly irks me out and shows 1) how neglectful aizawa is as a teacher to see this and only momentarily stop mineta while not putting a permeant stop to it and 2) how dense and persistent mineta is. Throughout certain arcs like the campfire arc mineta is literally tied up when the boys are sleeping so he doesn't do anything to the girls or we literally have a panel of mina staying close by to shoji's side to avoid mineta and his creepy behaviour.

This brings up the question of why does no one complain? It's at this point become a problem for both the boys and girls who have to deal with mineta. The boys are continually on his side, basically man handling him to stop him from doing stupid disgusting stuff to the girls and the girls are in constant fear/irritation around mineta. Do they not trust UA? Do they not trust aizawa or any teacher to properly deal with the issue?

We have established friendships in 1A but the lack of content of them hanging out and enjoying eachother company. Now you can find this in side mangas or light novels but not many read that and it's better to have it in main manga in the first place. Usually the opening or endings of MHA show us some scenes of the kids hanging out together but it's not much at all.

I remember reading a post that horikoshi wanted to include a karaoke scene with 1A after they finished their final exam but that sadly didn't make it into the final cut and Iam so disappointed because things like that could of helped us see the cute class bond they had and the found family thing that horikoshi tries to use later on.

Honestly momo and izuku interacting and becoming besties is a need and I know that @sapphic-agent has tried to prioritise that in her rewrite which is why in the battle trials it's Izuku and momo together instead of izuku and ochako.

The kaminari teasing is something that's a bit meh to me. I wish we could maybe see a duality in it that yes his friends would tease him but they would also worry and care for him. We could of seen this with ojirou who lets denki play with his tail whenever but that's only small little moments.

Horikoshi please make class 1A interact more in the main manga although it's now too late to ask for such things 😭

[martian-astro]

I think that people are making astrology TOO COMPLICATED 😭😭, like at this point, I'm literally EVERYTHING, and it's actually kinda funny, lol, it's very confusing too. I feel like the nakshatras, atmakaraka, darakaraka, aspects, d9 and d10 in vedic and aspects, solar return charts and a few asteroids in western are MORE THAN ENOUGH to know literally anything about your life. (this also includes planets in houses)

I mean...according to all the posts that I've read till now - I hate my mother, I love her, my husband is older than me, younger than me, a ceo, a singer, a dancer, a psychologist, a doctor, I'm an introvert and an extrovert, I hide my emotions but I'm also a crybaby..... And so on, like 😭😭

The reason why I even started learning astrology in the first place was because I was so confused. This is also why I like @notanastrologer so fucking much, because all of her observations are based on the main planets and charts and they are true like 99% of the times.

My elder sister has uranus in the 9th house, I remember she posted that these people would be the first ones in their family to study abroad, and my sister was the first one to go and study abroad. Like it's such a simple placement "uranus in 9th house", but it still manages to tell you such an important thing, I think that's really cool.

So like, don't be confused guys and as someone who is studying Psychology, I know that humans have a dynamic personality, you can be so many things all at once, but the problem is that people tend to read one thing and then get fixated on that. Like if they read one negative thing about their placement then they assume the worst. I'm a scorpio moon and I've never found any of the scorpio moon observations relatable....

I hope I was able to get my point across...

[pimosworld]

The ties that bind

Pairing- Dave York x f!reader x Francisco Morales

Series Summary-Dave is a private investigator who tracks down soulmates. He’s tasked to find Frankie’s, but what happens when he finds you and he wants you to himself?

CW-18+,MDNI, Angst,Fluff,Eventual Smut,Hurt, Comfort,MMF dynamics. General warnings for each chapter. Anything sensitive will be added to individual chapters.

WK-5.5K

A/N-This starts out angsty but I don’t write sad endings so keep that in mind going forward. Reader has a best friend very near and dear to my heart.

[Series Masterlist][Main Masterlist]

Not beta read

Chapter I

Dave looks over the file on his desk again before he makes the call. He reviewed it the night before and was going to contact the client until he realized not everyone holds the same weird hours as he does. Insomnia. 

  He takes a sip of his coffee as he dials the number with a Florida area code. At least he would get to enjoy some nice weather this time. The last soulmate he tracked down mid winter lived in Buffalo New York, he wasted weeks trying to find him only to find out he was happily married and had no intention of leaving his current wife. The woman who hired him was devastated but…devastated doesn’t pay the bills so she was out twenty grand, and went back to being single a few states over. 

  They don’t always end in misery but he’s used to it now. He wonders why he still does it, maybe helping these people will erase the thought of killing someone’s soulmate when he’s contracted for his other job. He can’t think about that one too much. 

  “Hello Santiago speaking.” Dave glances down at the file once more to be sure. 

  “Ugh yes I’m Dave York calling to reach Francisco Morales?” He hears a low curse on the other end and some apologies. 

  “Oh ya, just give me a second.” He can hear ruffling and the sound of a sliding door. My patience is already wearing thin. 

  “Thanks for returning my call. I’m actually hiring you on behalf of my friend Francisco.” 

  This wouldn’t be the first time he was contracted to find someone’s soulmate because some friend or family member couldn’t keep their nose where it belonged. There would most certainly be drama and resistance. Two things Dave did not handle well. 

  “That’s very generous of you. Is Francisco eager to find his soulmate?” 

  “He ugh…well…yes, yes he is.” Fat chance

  “I would need to meet him of course to go through with this, you understand?” 

  “Of course, that won’t be a problem at all. I sent you the details of when and where we can meet and provided you with the deposit.” At least he means business, either way Dave doesn’t care about the in’s and outs of why people do it. He knows it’s important… or at least he did. 

  He finishes going over the rules with Santiago that will hopefully get relaid to Frankie. He’ll find your soulmate and set up a meeting. If the person does not wish to pursue the relationship he will relay that to you to avoid any in person embarrassment. No stalking or harassment involved. If he can’t find them within 30 days you get your money back. 

  Some people frowned upon what he did. Purists thought you should meet your soulmate organically. They were rarely alone for more than a few years before they found theirs so he didn’t like listening to what they had to say. 

  He wasted years trying to find his love. When he did find her…it was already too late. Those six months were the best and worst of his life. Knowing he’s found his soulmate and gets to spend every waking moment with her only to have it ripped from his grasp. 

  If he had to spend the rest of his tortured life helping others not waste time then he would. 

  ****

  Why the hell did Will make them wear bow ties? This must be Amanda’s suggestion, there’s no way he decided they should all be this uncomfortable on his wedding day. 

  Frankie looks over at Ben and Will having some brotherly talk as if the younger miller has some wise words of advice having been married for all of six months. He loved rubbing it in that he was able to tie the knot before the rest of them of course excluding Tom who got married years ago when they were all in basic. 

  He tries really hard not to be bitter on these days but he can’t help himself. Of course he ran that risk when he married someone who was not his soulmate. He loved Sophia so much it didn’t matter to him. It’s worked out for plenty of other people and it worked for him…until it didn’t. 

  He didn’t try very hard to find his soulmate. Between being in the military, not being able to put down roots for so long and the fact that his soulmate probably hated him for all his scars and tattoos he can’t say he put much of an effort into finding them. 

  The hummingbird tattoo on his wrist practically taunted him his entire marriage. He pretended he didn’t care and so did she. She always told him they would try for kids when she was ready and he never pushed. He thought she was finally ready when she told him they needed to talk. Never in a million years did he expect her to say she found her soulmate and she was leaving him. 

  Their baby boy should be a year old by now, Sophia was pregnant within a month of the divorce being finalized. This was information Santiago insisted despite the others protests that he needed to know so that he could move on. 

  He can’t put the blame all on her. He left for Colombia to bring home money so they could start a family and he came home with nothing but news that her best friend's husband was dead. 

  It must be some kind of fucked up karma that they went back for the money and now he’s alone. If he’s really being honest with himself, he knows they never really loved each other. It was convenient for both of them. Frankie doesn’t like being honest with himself so he'd rather continue on painting her as the villain in his story. 

  “Hermano, you need some help with that tie.” Santiago starts fidgeting before he can even answer no. He slaps his hands away and Santi backs away with his hands up in surrender. 

  “Why are you being so nice?” 

  “I’m always nice.” Frankie scoffs at that. Santiago was never nice unless he wanted something from you. 

  “You picked up my tux, gave me a ride here and now you’re offering to fix my tie?!” He gives him a look and Santi knows it’s only a matter of time. 

  “I have a surprise for you.” He resumes fixing his tie despite Frankie’s protests. 

  “The last time you surprised me someone died.” Santi clears his throat but doesn’t protest, it must be bad. 

  “I hired a PI to find your soulmate.” That last part is rushed out but Frankie hears him clear as day. 

  He shoves him back a few steps which draws the attention of Ben and Will. “Why the fuck would you do that?” 

  “Chill out Fish, what’s your problem?” Ben steps between the two of them as Frankie looks as though he could spit fire. 

  “I told him about the PI.” Ben whips around to Santi. 

  “I thought we were gonna wait until tomorrow.” Frankie looks over at Will in disbelief. 

  “You fucking knew about this?” He can see it in their eyes and how no one will look at him directly.

  “Can we please talk about this tomorrow? I’m getting married in an hour.” 

  Sure he’ll talk tomorrow, they can all talk about staying out of his life and meddling in his business. Pope can call off the PI and they can all go back to being happy with their soulmates and Santiago can go fuck off somewhere in another country as he always does, leaving Frankie to mope alone with his thoughts. 

  “Ya we’ll talk tomorrow.” Ben comes over to fix his tie and Frankie clenches his fists at his side. 

  This is going to be a long day. 

  ****

  The new Mr.& Mrs. Miller do look very in love on the dance floor as Frankie enjoys his second piece of cake. Cake never betrayed him…his ex wife and his best friends maybe but never cake. 

  Ben dips his wife and it sorely reminds him of his wedding day when he and Sophia ended up with calloused feet from dancing all night. 

  His chest tightens at the sight of Molly dancing with her girls. She stayed so strong through it all and she looks so happy, maybe it’s just a front or maybe she’s choosing not to be a miserable sap like him. She lost her soulmate and never once judged them for what they did. She knew how Tom could be. Frankie doesn’t know how someone could treat their soulmate the way Tom treated Molly. He’s better off alone than with a soulmate who doesn’t love him back. 

  Santiago makes his way over to the table and gestures to the seat next to Frankie. He nods his head for him to sit down while he watches the dance floor. They sit in silence for a moment and Frankie thinks about how selfish he is for being so petulant about the whole thing. 

  Santiago never cared about finding his soulmate, maybe because of their line of work or maybe it was the nature of his being. He’ll never forget the look on his face when his tattoo’s disappeared. He told the guys it was fine but they could hear him trying to muffle his cries in his bunk. 

  “I’ll do it Pope.” Santiago looks at him with a mixture of shock and excitement. 

  “I came ready for an argument.” He slides Frankie’s plate closer to him to steal a bite of cake. “We meet him tomorrow.” 

  “Jesus what if I said no?” Frankie slides the plate back to himself, not ready to let go of his precious dessert. 

  “You might want to lay off the cake if you’re going to meet your soulmate soon.” Frankie flips him off as Santi grabs the plate and saunters off to the dance floor. 

  ****

  Dave’s always early to meet a client, but never this early. He couldn’t find a lot of information on Francisco Morales but he did find out he was Delta Force and so was the man that hired him on his behalf. He always met potential clients in a public place of their choosing to get an idea of who they are. There's no doubt in his mind that this coffee shop holds no significance to the two men and will most certainly not help him figure out anything about Francisco. 

  He knows it’s their military training that they will never seem to break free from. It doesn’t make it easy for your soulmate to find you when you're as mysterious as Francisco Morales. No social media, no parking tickets, no convictions. A minor hiccup with his pilot's license but his record was scrubbed clean a few years ago. It takes a lot of money to completely wipe your record. 

  Their trip to Colombia wasn’t as off the books as they thought. With Dave’s connections he can find out a lot more about the average person than they think. It’s true he is paid to find your soulmate but he has a duty to uphold to not put said person in harm's way. Frankie’s sketchy past and interesting finances make him a little wary to just introduce him to the person he’s supposed to spend the rest of his life with. He doesn’t know the circumstances behind his wife leaving him and that also has his guard up. Who just up and leaves after 8 years? 

  He pauses his thoughts momentarily as he notices an old Jeep pull into the parking lot of the cafe. He hasn’t seen a Jeep like that in years. His suspicions are correct when two men around his age step out. Still relatively in military shape, the shorter of the two in a black t-shirt much too tight for him and black jeans. The taller one in an open flannel and blue jeans donning a dirty cap and aviators…that must be Francisco. 

  They both survey the area as if it’s their first time here and that confirms his other notion that these men wanted to meet somewhere not near their home. Probably thirty minutes to an hour outside of where they actually live if he would guess. Fifteen minutes early to be safe but still not earlier than him. 

  “I should’ve worn something nicer.” Frankie smooths his hands down the front of his worn flannel as they approach the coffee shop. This was his nice flannel but maybe he could’ve taken an iron to it or something. 

  “Relax hermano, he didn’t bring your soulmate to the meeting.” 

  “You vetted this guy?” Frankie couldn’t find much information on David York, which worried him a little. 

  “As much as I could.” Frankie holds the door open for Santiago as they enter and head straight for the counter. Coffee is much needed after imbibing too much at the wedding. He’s grateful in hindsight that he chose this location just outside of town. 

  “Corner,black suit.” 

  Frankie glances up, hopefully shielded by his sunglasses. “He looks smug.” 

  “Don’t start.” Santi hisses under his breath as he steps up to place their order. “ Two black coffees please.” 

  Best case scenario, this guy finds his soulmate and Frankie can’t even wrap his head around what he would do with that information. It scares him to even think about it. 

  Worst case scenario, Pope is out some money that he didn’t ask him to spend in the first place and he can go back to whatever semblance of a life he was living before all this. 

  Way to be positive Frankie

  ****

  Introductions are awkward to say the least. Frankie and Santi seated at the small cafe table across from Dave who has set a notepad down next to his small coffee. The silence is deafening as he scribbled down a few things after giving them a once over. 

  “So I’m sure you have some questions for me. If you don’t mind holding those until I’ve gone over everything.” He’s not really asking and Frankie already had his hackles up at the grim outlook of the man in front of him. 

  He always hated ‘suits’ . This guy is obviously ex-government and he’s not really sure how someone like him ended up in the line of work of finding someone’s soulmate. Besides the obvious monetary aspect there is a lot of love and emotion involved and the man seated before him doesn’t strike him as the romantic type. 

  “Why did you decide to hire me to find your soulmate?” I didn’t hire you. Frankie looks over at Santiago hoping he’ll help him out a little. 

  “Well ugh…I actually didn’t.” Dave raises his eyebrows at that but lets him continue. “My friend here was kind enough to give me a push in the right direction.” After too many drinks and a lot of talking he reconciled with Santi that this was something he should at least try to pursue. 

  Everything seems pretty straightforward once he starts going over his normal way of doing things. Frankie understands after the initial round of uncomfortable questions that Dave needs to make sure he’s not some weirdo. He opted to return a few peoples initial deposit upon meeting them and not deeming them safe enough or sane enough to track down their soulmate and uproot their lives. 

  Frankie’s thankful he doesn’t pry too much into his reason for divorcing. Dave mostly wanted to make sure that he was not still legally married because he won’t set anyone up for heartbreak. 

  Dave has a thirty day guarantee, if he doesn’t find them in that time frame you get a full refund. Frankie is a little shocked at his confidence. People spend their entire lives trying to find their soulmate and he can somehow guarantee it. 

  “So, now that I’ve gone over all the logistics. Do you have any questions for me?” Frankie looks to Santiago who’s been uncharacteristically quiet throughout this meeting. Maybe out of courtesy for Frankie or perhaps he’s sizing him up. Either way, Frankie really only has one thing he is curious about. 

  “Why do you do it?” 

  Dave takes a sip of his lukewarm coffee. It’s pretty bad if he’s being honest but he needs a moment. He always needs a moment when this question is brought up. It’s usually one of the only questions he hates answering. Truthfully answering would require to let people in ‘strangers’. 

  These same strangers trust him enough to do this so as uncomfortable as it is he provides enough of an answer to suit both parties. 

  “I hate to say that it pays well, but I have to state the obvious.” For the first time during the meeting Frankie can see his hard exterior crack a little. The first time where he seems nervous and unsure of what he’s going to say. 

  “Also…I wish I had met my wife sooner. I may have had more time with her.” 

  Santiago excuses himself from the table. He doesn’t do well with emotions. Frankie knows that probably stung a little. He’s not sure if it’s worse that Santi never got to meet them or if meeting them briefly makes it all that more painful. 

  “I appreciate your honesty Dave.” He sends him a tight lip smile that doesn’t meet the eyes. 

  “If that’s all you have for me I’ll be in touch in the next few days hopefully with an update.” 

  Frankie shakes his hand, a firm handshake he notes to himself. Dave has a nice build, he’s not sure why he makes a note of that as well. 

  Frankie finished the rest of his coffee and headed outside. Santi leans against the back of the Jeep scrolling idly on his phone. He looks up at him but says nothing as they both get in, Frankie in the driver's seat. 

  “I just needed some air.” Santiago looks out the passenger window seemingly fixated on the passing cars. 

  “I know hermano.” He doesn’t need to say anything more. 

  Neither of them speak for a while, too many thoughts on their minds as they ponder the meeting and what all of it means. Seeing Santiago still struggling with losing his soulmate makes Frankie want to give this his all. 

  ****

  Santi can’t shake the thought of Dave doing all this because he didn’t have enough time with his soulmate. At least he got to spend some time with them. He's lied to himself all these years after his tattoos and scars of his soulmate were long gone. This was not about him though, this is about helping his friend move on and be happy. That’s all he wants for them after the chaos he caused in Colombia. He has to make things right for him. Frankie may not see it as his fault but Santiago can’t help but think maybe Sophia would’ve stayed if things hadn’t gone so poorly. 

  Santiago would never know that things started to sour in their relationship long before that Ill fated trip to steal someone else’s money. 

  Frankie was the one who had it all together. A real job he could be proud of , a wife he loved , a house for their future family. Things quickly fell apart for him after they returned and he was no longer the one that they looked to for guidance. 

  Santiago made it his mission to help Frankie get back on his feet after they went back for the money. Frankie got his license back, he bought a home that didn��t remind him of all his memories with his ex wife, now all he needed to do was find love. 

  Santi rubs his hands across his jeans trying to shake himself from the trance. Frankie eyes him cautiously from the driver’s seat. 

  Santiago leans forward to turn the radio down. “So how are you feeling about all this?” 

  “Considering he has a guarantee, a little better than I felt going in.” 

  He doesn't want to get his hopes up too much but he’s starting to get that feeling like things may be taking a turn for the better. 

  Frankie pulls up to Santi’s house and puts the car in park. 

  “I know what you’re gonna say, I’ll be fine I promise and I’ll call you later after I sleep off this hangover.” Frankie smiles at that,Santiago only lets a select few into his world and he won’t push it any further. 

  “I just want to say thanks Pope. This really means a lot.” Santi waves him off and hops out, he knows how much it means but he’s not gonna get any more emotions out of this day. 

  “Love you hermano, this time next year we’ll be planning your wedding.” Santi calls out over his shoulder before he enters his house. Frankie wants to roll his eyes at that but he secretly hopes that he’s right. 

  ****

  “Alicia! We’re gonna be late.” You stand in your bedroom in front of the floor length mirror putting the finishing touches on your makeup. The modest yellow sundress and strappy heels you bought ages ago are finally getting some use. 

  “I can’t decide on what to wear.” You faintly hear her yell from her bedroom. 

  You’re not particularly excited about this singles event she signed you up for but you certainly didn’t want to walk in late and have all eyes on you. She’s your best friend so you agreed to accompany her on one of her many schemes to get you back on the dating scene. 

  You cross the hall to her room and find a mountain of clothes on her bed and more clothes flying out of her closet. 

  “Let me see what you’re wearing.” She emerges from her closet in a slinky black dress to match her long black hair. She was a bombshell in anything she wore so you aren’t sure what the hold up is. 

  “Alicia that looks hot, wear that.” She gives herself a once over in the mirror as she smooths her hands down the front. 

  “You don’t think this is sending the wrong message?” 

  “Babe you said yourself you need to get laid.” You glance down at the time on your phone. “Shit we’re gonna be really late.”

  “You’re right, I did say that. Thanks for talking me off a ledge.” She grabs her phone from the nightstand as you follow her out of the room. 

  “You’re gonna need to pretend my room is yours if you bring someone home though.” You gesture towards the disaster she left on her bed. 

  She turns to you, grabbing your face and kissing your forehead. “Only a true friend would let me defile her bed for the sake of a hookup.”

  You laugh as you shoo her along out the door. “That’s what friends are for.”

  ****

  The bad news, you were indeed late. The good news is no one seems to notice as you both enter the hotel lounge for the event. Everyone is talking and mingling amongst themselves so you and Alicia have an opportunity to grab a drink and settle in. 

  You haven’t been on a proper date in years so she thought this would be a nice way to ease back into things. No pressure or obligations and no awkward first date etiquette. People were just here to simply talk and get to know each other. If you made a connection that was great but if you just didn’t like someone then there were no hard feelings. 

  “Cute guy at twelve o'clock is checking you out.” You try to do a subtle scan of the room as you sip your fruity drink. 

  “Alicia I don’t know what that means…Wait how do you know he wasn’t checking you out?” She steps in front of you to slightly block your view. 

  “He’s in the gray button down on my right .” She half whispers as she attempts a head nod. “Do you see him?” 

  “Oh shit he’s coming over here.” You both do your best worst to act casual as a tall and very attractive…distractingly attractive man walks over. 

  “I do have to say yellow is definitely your color.” 

  “Told you.” Alicia says under her breath as she leaves you at the bar with this stranger. 

  You thank him politely for his compliment and introduce yourself as you try to ignore the lewd gestures your best friend is making with her hands behind his back. Thankfully she’s interrupted by a man with a tap on her shoulder. He’s noticeably not the type she goes for. He’s much too tall for her…she prefers to tower over her love interests ‘it makes me feel powerful’ in her words. 

  Jeff was nice enough as he engaged you in conversation. He mostly droned on about his job in finance and his hobbies, his five year goals and now come to think of it…you didn’t really get a chance to talk about yourself. He excused himself from the conversation when he saw someone he knew in the crowd, leaving you in your comfortable silence once again. 

  Your moment of reprieve is short lived when a woman approaches you. You actually enjoy talking to her and you can tell she’s listening intently. She’s beautiful, funny and smart. Perhaps another time you would be interested but she mentioned she just got out of a long term relationship and you don’t have the energy to be someone’s rebound. You’ve spent years repairing your broken heart and if this is your one attempt at trying to find love again it just wouldn’t be fair to either of you. 

  You still exchanged numbers after she’d said how nice it was to meet you. Your eyes immediately find Alicia’s across the room with a man who could be her grandfather. He doesn’t seem to notice her look of save me etched across her face. You take this moment to tease her a bit, making the same hand motions she did earlier. An older woman looks on in shock when you realize a little too late that you’ve caught the attention of others in the room. 

  After offering an apologetic smile, you gather yourself and join her across the room. 

  “Sorry to interrupt, Alicia, can I borrow you for a moment.”

   She loops her arm in yours pulling you close to her side. “It was nice to meet you Irving.”

  “The pleasure is all mine dear.” He takes her free hand, planting a sloppy wet kiss on the top. You bite your cheek to stifle a laugh as she waves him off. You can feel her eyes on you as you exit the lounge. 

  If looks could kill you’d be a goner. 

  “Irving seemed nice.”

  “Shut up.” 

  You both burst into a fit of giggles as you make it safely to the hotel lobby out of sight of anyone trying to vy for your attention. 

  These were the moments you lived for with your best friend. The reason you were able to get back on your feet when you moved across the country to start your life over. She took you in like a stray cat, no questions asked when you replied to her ad looking for a roommate. You didn’t find out until later on that she didn’t need the money, she just hated living alone. 

  She came from a wealthy family and traveled the world before settling in Naples Florida. She never had a soulmate…it wasn’t out of the ordinary for people to go their entire lives without so much as a mark or tattoo. It makes you wonder if the universe chooses at random or if people are destined for that path. She is such a free spirit it almost makes sense why she can’t be tied down to just one person. Her biggest problem is making sure her current interests aren't only after her for money. 

  “So…what’s the plan for the rest of the evening babe?” You both step out still arm in arm. It’s a beautiful sunset starting just over the tops of the buildings downtown. You could walk down to the beach or drab a drink at another bar. 

  You can feel your dress starting to cling to your back from the humidity and you made a huge mistake wearing heels that weren’t broken in yet. Alicia looks at you and then pulls out her phone to call a car to come get you. “Let’s go home and eat ice cream while we discuss what a train wreck that was.” 

  You let out a sigh of relief as you push back trying to stand on the heels of your feet. “That sounds like a perfect night.” 

  ****

  “At one point he actually took his dentures out to show me.” Alicia buries her head in the pillow as you make a disgusted face. 

  “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.” You’re laughing to the point of a stomach ache. 

  “Ya, you sound really sorry.” She throws the pillow at you on the other end of the couch. “So tell me about the girl. You were talking to her for a while.” She raises one eyebrow at you as she reaches down to the coffee table for the carton of rocky road. 

  “She was nice.” You lean forward grabbing the carton from her hands. “She was more than nice actually…but she just got out of a serious relationship.” 

  “Ugh…no one wants to be a rebound.” 

  Your thoughts exactly. 

  You swear sometimes you share a brain, or maybe you have just spent so much time with each other that you can’t help but think alike. 

  “I’m glad we went, I needed to break the ice. It’s not like the love of my life is gonna waltz into the record store.” You loved your job, you always had a love for music. There was something so special about the medium of records standing the test of time. That’s the kind of love you wanted. 

  “Let’s just marry each other if this dating thing doesn’t work out.” She holds out her pinky as you wrap yours around hers. 

  “Deal.” 

  “Deal.” 

  You raise from the couch gathering your plush blankets. “I’m gonna turn in for the night, love you leesh.” 

  “Love you too hon’, get some sleep.”

  ****

  Sleep

  That was a joke in its own right. The problem with having anxiety is the one time where your brain should quiet down is when it wants to be the most active. 

  You brush your thumb along the etched roses on your ring finger. It’s such a fine and delicate tattoo, the line work is beautiful and the stem of it perfectly curls around coming to a point at the end of your finger. 

  You hate to assume, but it’s always felt feminine in nature. It doesn’t seem like a drunken mistake or a rushed decision. The tattoo feels intentional. You had a lot of tattoos in a short amount of time when you were in college. These tattoos were overtly masculine. A small Blackhawk tattoo on your left wrist, almost mirroring your hummingbird. A gun of some kind on your left ankle…you weren’t familiar with firearms. A tiny elephant on the inside of your left thigh, by far the most adorable of the set. 

  In short succession they all adorned your body before you graduated from the California Institute of the Arts with a minor in arts management and a major in music history. Your step mother always said it was a waste and your father couldn’t be bothered to defend you. Your mother would have been proud though. 

  It was years before the roses showed up on your finger one beautiful spring day. It was so unlike the others it turned your world upside down. 

  The reason you moved across the country to escape the control and the pressure of someone who couldn’t love you with those scars and tattoos. Resenting you more and more each day knowing that you belonged to someone else. 

  It’s those thoughts that keep you up at night. The nightmares and horrible things that only your mind thinks up. As much as you try to push those thoughts away, you know deep down someone is out there. Made for you. 

  We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. 

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[wanderingwomanwondering]

911 Season 7 Critique

This is a long post. If you don’t make it to the end, I totally understand.

I know we all have lots of feelings about this season and most of what I’ve read from others in the fandom here on tumblr has been overwhelmingly positive, but I have serious and persistent concerns. Here me out, if you’re willing and able.

This entire season something about 911 has felt off for me in a big way. I couldn’t quite put my finger on exactly what the problem was until recently. All I knew was that season 7 was weird out the gate. Now I finally think I have something coherent to say about this season now that it’s over. The whole season’s main plot(s) have been overblown and overworked. All season long, the characters have felt bodysnatched by extraterrestrials being just similar enough to our beloved characters to not raise total alarm - at least initially - but different enough to snatch some epic side-eye outta me. Then ep 4 happened and the whole time I was a mix of elated and confused. Anybody who’s been paying attention for the last 7 years knows that Buck is queer so that wasn’t the shocker. For me, it was the way everything went down in ep 4 with the characters that felt heavy-handed and untrue to who they are. The weird strange bizarreness through the season just kept on coming like a freight train with no breaks or relief. By the finale I was scratching my head and kinda irritated because the tiny bit of actual character work that we saw over the course of the season was odd as hell and now it’s over and I’m not really excited about much of anything that’s supposed to be coming in s8. The characters feel too ooc and the plots feel too uncharacteristic of 911. Like for a bit there I thought I was watching Days of Our Lives meets Miami Vice meets The Walking Dead, and that’s not what I signed up for with 911.

Season 7 left me earnestly wondering: Where are the family feels, the tight bonds, the heartfelt connections, the vulnerable conversations, the healing community that is the 118, the fucking togetherness? Everyone feels like they are adrift and alone without the found family support that they enjoyed in previous seasons. This season has been a trauma fest with little to no emotional payoff. Drama for its own sake. Problems resurrected, rehashed, blown way out of proportion, repackaged, and sold as authentic current issues. This season I felt like I was watching a completely different show.

Yes we are on a new network. Yes Tim is back. Yes a bit of shake up can be good. But this doesn’t feel like a good shake up. I feel like I’m being jerked around for sport. Like past BS is being thrown in my face instead of laid on the table and worked through by the characters that I know and love. Season 7 was mostly just trauma porn and I did not enjoy it.

Yes we could argue that Tim is trying to grab the attention of new viewers on a new network. But honestly that kind of feels like a cop-out explanation given what he delivered. If I were new to this show, I would not feel like I have any idea who these characters are beyond the wild crap that happens to them. I feel like I know more about how to sink a cruise ship or how to traverse the desert than I do about how the characters relate and connect with one another.

As someone who’s watched 911 from the very beginning live and in real time, the plotting, pacing, and character choices in season 7 feel like Tim is putting on a show instead of telling stories. Shows are a wacky wild ride with little cohesion and/or progress; characters take a backseat to whatever the ptb can cook up for the weekly plot. Stories center characters and what’s happening to them is processed by them and moves their arcs along in mostly coherent ways. A show is ‘shit happens’. A story is ‘shit happens TO ME AND I DEAL WITH IT in ways that show the audience who I am and what matters to me’’.

Maybe season 8 will feel more like a story since it won’t be a truncated season, and season 7 has reintroduced people to - aka dredged up long-past but somehow present again - character issues. I don’t know. I hope season 8 is more coherent, character-focused, and progress/healing-oriented like previous seasons have been. Honestly the show has been running too long to act like rehashing the past over and over again is enough to carry it for 7 more seasons.

Anyway, my specific concerns with season 7 are below the cut.

The main plots have just been hilariously bad. Soap opera levels of wtaf.

The cruise ship disaster had pirates, cheaters, and poorly-developed conflicts between lovers all of which (mostly) came out of the thin blue sea air and/or were handled in incredibly ooc ways. MIssing groom because of viral encephalitis. Hospital wedding like its a good thing and preferable to the warm fuzzies that Madney deserved. Long-dead wife put on such a high pedestal by Eddie that she walks the earth once more. Bobby chasing a random man from his past into the desert to say/do what exactly? All while mixing it up with a literal Mexican cartel. A desert crossing complete with traumatic flashbacks, a car crash, and a makeshift stretcher. (Bobby should have left Amir where he was after the crash and just walked the mile to the road without him in tow. But instead he slowed himself down and risked sunstroke in the process. That was a drama choice made by the writers, not a paramedic/firefighter choice made by the character.) Post-house fire Bobby’s heart stops for 14 whole ass minutes and he wakes up fine and perky as meringue. Athena Grant choosing cold-blooded vengeance over holding vigil for her allegedly dying husband. Racist and misogynistic Gerard returning for absolutely no narrative or character-related reason at all, at least not for one that couldn’t be more effectively accomplished by some/any other means.

The women have been side-lined in their own stories, and/or their characters altered in problematic ways.

Hen dismissed the councilwoman’s son in the season’s opening arc and ignored his potential injuries because he was being an asshole. A lesser paramedic would do that, but NOT our Hen. Also that plot point was unrealistic af because if someone is not in their right mind to make a life-saving decision for themselves, like in the case of intoxication, medical personnel can ethically treat them anyway. It was such a weird plot/character choice to Hen use that guy’s intoxication as a reason NOT to treat him when it’s actually a great reason to go ahead and check him out. She should have and would have worked the problem (poised and professional) instead of storming off in a huff (emotion-driven and unethical) because that guy was being a dick. Hen is not easily unsettled, nor is she unprofessional!

Hen and Karen were oddly clueless about Mara’s trauma and the fact that it was actively relevant to her behavior when they took her in, despite the fact that they have fostered several children at this point in the story. They considered “returning her” before they considered the trauma factor. Unreal. Our Hen and Karen were not born yesterday, are no strangers to hard times with foster kids, and have hearts the size of the 7 seas. This writing choice made no sense to me and made Hen and Karen feel like extraterrestrials to me. Ignorant ones at that. In the finale, Hen didn’t tell Karen she was going to see Mara. Like. Why? They talk about everything. Hen claimed it’s because Karen would have tried to stop her but we all know that would have been a half-hearted comment while she put her shoes on and grabbed her purse. No. Hen and Karen are partners and they act like it. The one woman show era between them has been over for a while. Especially when it comes to their family.

Athena and Bobby had a conversation at the end of season 4 about cutting each other out and leaving each other emotionally stranded and since then have been actively committed to communicating and staying a team. So what the hell was that vibe between them on the cruise. Athena was evasive and weird the whole time and in the most banal gender stereotyped way possible. In addition, Tim seems obsessed with women as damsels in distress this season which is not and has never been Athena’s vibe. Even with the Jeffrey arc in season 5 while she coped with the trauma of that encounter, she displayed agency. So I’ll never understand her indirect approach to dealing with Bobby running off to ‘Step 9’ Amir or her decision to turn right around and talk to Amir about Bobby instead of talking to Bobby directly. Athena is a direct person, especially about her family. She cuts to the quick and gets to the heart of things. The drama I needed was Bathena working through Athena’s fears for Bobby and Bobby working through his trauma/recovery with Athena…not a Mexican cartel and shenanigans in the desert. Then there was the way Harry talked to Athena when she discovered that he ran away from Miami. Athena’s response to Harry would have been understanding but corrective. She wouldn’t have stood there and let him disrespect her. Not in a million lifetimes. She also wouldn’t have left her allegedly dying husband at the hospital to reenact a revenge plot from some B movie. Plus what was up with her blaming herself for Amir supposedly burning the house down, and her doing no police work to puzzle out what happened? She just went on an emotion-fueled rampage. That’s not how Athena operates. Remember her namesake, goddess of WISDOM and warfare. Come on bffr.

Maddie. Oh where do I even start. From ep 1 she was treated like a means to an end instead of the first responder former nurse badass that she is. This whole season, she comes across as ‘just another dispatcher’ instead of the focused problem-solver and active agent that we know her to be. Prior to season 7 Maddie would have had her thinking cap fully on right along with Hen in the first episodes as they worked out a way to get in touch with the cruise ship. Calling Tommy could have even been Maddie’s idea since Chim and Tommy are still in touch but Hen and Tommy don’t seem to be. Then there was the whole Maddie hearing what she expected to hear with the abuse victim on that one call. Like. What?! This is not Maddie’s first rodeo, she is not easily unsettled, and she’s a damn professional. She would have done what she had to do to emotionally regulate and help the woman in danger before she let herself ‘hear what she expected to hear’. Admittedly she would have cried the whole time because that’s JLH’s jam and she’s good at it but Maddie wouldn’t have fallen down so hard on the job (especially not after what happened in season 3 with Tara and Vincent). And the wedding stuff! Maddie was just watching and waiting instead of using what she knew about her partner in life Chim to deduce where he might go or what he might do. Instead of collecting information about their previous calls and how they might be playing into Chim’s disappearance, she was busy being insecure about whether Chim actually wanted to marry her. Mind you, Maddie was the one who was originally reticent about marrying again AND she’s the one who proposed to Chim. After all the drama with the ring, there is no world in which Maddie would have imagined Chim was running from her. She would have known something bad was up and that it had nothing to do with their love for one another. In the finale Maddie calls Chim to talk about Athena’s suss behavior but Maddie has more connections and professional wherewithal than just ‘call my husband he’ll know what to do’. She would have called the precinct and asked about 727-L-30 in a discreet way and put most of the pieces together herself and then actually sent Chim and Hen to stop her. And she would have been ready at a moment’s notice to call the cops on the rogue cop. The way that scene actually played out felt more like gossip on the high school bleachers than Maddie doing her actual job.

The relationships seem plain odd/ooc, distant, and/or superficial. Very few vulnerable emotional conversations happened and when they did they felt generic, shallow, and/or incomplete.

Bobby and Athena on the cruise. Athena just didn’t feel like herself because she refused to talk to Bobby. When they did finally talk it was when they were about to drown and it was more of a mini-therapy session for Bobby. After Amir was introduced, Bobby pulled away again and Athena let him. Then Athena chose to approach the traumatized stranger rather than have a talk with her own damn husband. When they finally confronted each other about that situation, she walked away from Bobby almost like she was punishing him for walking away first instead of them both leaning into the conversation as partners. Really? Bffr.

Buck and Eddie having a bro convo about womanizing in the early episodes of the season. The ‘hey pal please talk to my kid bro because you have experience with these issues’ rather than the all important ‘there’s no one in this world I trust with my son more than you’ vibes of it all. Eddie making limited eye contact with Buck and ignoring him in ep 4. Eddie’s physical demeanor in ep 4 being bro-ed up and distant. Yeah I know we can argue that was all from Buck’s perspective in the moment but that explanation seems insufficient to me because it was so extreme, and was kind of maintained in some ways throughout the season. The ‘i’m gonna maim my best friend’ energy of the bucktommy origin story despite the fact that buck is not violent at all and definitely not towards loved ones. (Tim seems determined to ruin everybody just enough to generate unnecessary and ooc drama.) Buck’s weird dudebro conversation with Eddie while on his date with Tommy as if the foundation of buck and eddie’s relationship has ever been conversations about women solely to assert their heterosexuality * facepalm emoji * The super textbook sterile coming out scene in ep 5 like these guys aren’t besties and don’t actually know each other deeply. I wanted that coming out scene to have 504 patio conversation energy, not whatever it was we got in 704. Like that coming out conversation could have played out the exact same with one of the no-name background firefighters at the 118 or with Connor or some other rando. It felt so impersonal to who they are and to their particular brand of vulnerable courageous conversations. Honestly even the hug in 704 was weird. I was happy to have it but it was still weird. The kitchen conversation in ep 9 at Eddie’s place felt odd and incomplete for buddie. We get queer sexual innuendo (‘skulking around my back door’), basic mutual acknowledgment of worry about the dead wife doppelganger, and that’s a wrap? Okay I guess * eyeroll emoji * Then we had the finale where Eddie is obviously losing his mind and Buck is just sitting on the arm of the couch like ‘i dunno what to tell you man’. Like they’ve never had a (chris) conversation before in their life. Like buck wouldn’t have been the one to VOLUNTEER to go talk to chris without eddie spelling it out. Like buck wasn’t the person who stayed with chris talked to him and took care of him when eddie got shot and when eddie lost his damn mind in 513. The buck in the finale was not the buck who did all those things. He was so bodysnatched it’s not even funny. Also, in what world would buck have snarked that chris can’t keep eddie out of his room??? Buck, my good sir, if eddie wanted to break down chris’ door he wouldn’t have called you over bc he can do that on his own without a consult. That scene felt ooc af plus the dialogue was just plain dumb.

Hen and Chim have barely had a meaningful friend moment this season. It’s mostly Hen razzing Chim, a polite smile, or nada. Let’s not even talk about the ‘betrayal’ in the beginning with the councilwoman’s son and then the deeply meaningless drama that ensued after. So much so that they commented on it in a joking way on the helicopter. That’s not how Hen and Chim roll. They give each other clear and unapologetic honesty at all times. Not the cold shoulder for sport which is what it felt like when Hen finally said she wasn’t actually mad. The gender and racial implications of how that played out are not lost on me. It felt like a 180 from how these characters normally interact in serious circumstances. Complete waste of time and invented drama for drama’s sake. I don’t blame Hen and Chim for that, like everything else I’ve mentioned in this critique of the season, it’s pure writing room weirdness.

Bobby’s locker room conversation with Buck in ep 9 was more like mentor-mentee than father-son. We’ve stated that as their dynamic several times but that’s not what we got in that locker room. They were standing several feet apart, Bobby and Buck smiled politely, no hug, no shoulder pat. Just textbook sterile ‘you’re okay kid’. Bobby could have given that speech to no-name firefighter number 12 and it would have felt the same.

You mean to tell me in the finale that Bobby was just gonna stroll back into work in uniform after quitting like nothing happened? Like he’s still employed. My good sir, you didn’t even call headquarters before showing up to be like ‘just kidding i want my job back’. You mean to tell me Buck and Ravi were at work, in uniform and clocked in, but didn’t already know Gerard was there? You mean to tell me Bobby was supposedly that allergic to having a real emotional/vulnerable conversation with literally anybody that he strolled into work WHEN HE NO LONGER WORKS THERE like he was gonna get to actually work??? I just can’t -

Anyway, this post is long af so if you made it to the end, thank you. Honestly, I'm still processing this season but as of now, in the words of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, “I take no leave of you, [Tim Minear]. I send no compliments to your [season 7 showrunner decisions]! You deserve no such attention! I am seriously displeased!”

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Whilst I'm at it, if the cast decided to write fanfiction, would they write, what tropes would they be fond of and who would be writing the filthiest and freakiest of smut you can think of.

Ok so assuming everyone had to write one and they couldn't say no this is what I came up with

Takemichi- superhero fic, very cliche, follows pretty much every trope. It's dedicated to Hina too (she loved reading it). It's probably got something to do with a 4 leaf clover in the name.

Mikey- Writes fic about Taiyaki kun being the hero, probably a long adventure type story, taiyaki kun rides a motorbike at one point, it's a wild read.

Draken- He'd likely be very big on the found family trope, you just know his fic would be about some rag tag group coming together and bonding to the point of becoming family (the villian is probably based on Hanma).

Hina- oh definitely romance, the hero saves the girl, the girl saves the hero. She just writes the perfect couple and then overcoming any obstacles together in their way.

Emma- Romance #2, she writes the cutest fluff you can think of.

Naoto- Probably a horror mystery with plenty of occult themes and references. He looks key really enjoys writing it so it's probably a long multiple chapter fic, with a bunch of people following it.

Kisaki- Story about the hero however with a major plot twist towards the end showing the hero was actually the bad guy. It's actually very well done and clever despite how cliche it may sound.

Hanma- ok I see two possible ones here, either he takes it seriously and writes one of the most interesting fics ever (hey he knows whats exciting and what makes a good story) or he absolutely does not take this seriously and writes the smuttiest smut to have ever smutted and attempts to annoy the others with it.

Kazutora- i think he might do something a bit different and write it in letter format, as in character's sending letter's to each other. Letter's probably mean a lot to him and he's likely the most comfortable writing in that format so he uses it in his fics.

Baji- Cat story!!!!! There's definitely some kind of big cat fight scene (baji can't resist) but ultimately it's a happy story. He probably also makes a few spelling errors but it's ok since Chifuyu helps him correct anything. 

Chifuyu- Was tempted by Baji's cat story but settles on a person romance instead. It is full of manga references and the girl eventually kisses the guy after he gave her a polkadot based surprise. Probably a soul mate au.

Mitsuya- very detailed fic, like expect everything to have every last detail described (especially people's clothes).

Hakkai- space story! Probably a self insert about him going to space and being a hero (when he comes back mitsuya is incredibly proud of him).

Pah & Peh- They do everything together including fic writing. Definitely a story about two friends (them two), is a happy story about these two friends vs the world.

Smiley- fights, fights and more fights, everyone just wants to beef each other here.

Angry- I think he would write am interactive type fic, like the type where people comment and choose what they want to happen next, I just think he'd enjoy the interactions with people.

Mucho- coffee shop/ bakery au! Actually probably writes about his friends working there, izana is the manager, kakucho the assistant manager, sanzu is a loyal customer, mucho himself prepares the cakes, the Haitani brother's face the customers, mochi handles the drive thru and shion is the dishwasher who keeps breaking things. 

Sanzu- definitely a royalty au about a king and his loyal soldier. 

Inui- probably heavily use the miscommunication causes the main issue trope, he's seen it irl and knows it really can cause a bunch of problems.

Koko- probably a fix it fic, writes about a fire but this time no one dies, the girl gets saved and ends up happily living with her rescuer. This is probably actually something he uses to work through his regrets.

Yuzuha- a cute fic about a sister protecting her brother, she probably beats all the bad guys easily (and the brother's phone lockscreen is of the sister)

Izana & Kakucho- they work together to make another royalty au but this one focusing on the king and his kingdom, the story of this king creating his new world.

Ran- oh definitely a very obvious self insert story. The main character? Flawless hair, everyone loves him, has a little brother who adores him, dresses famously, treated like a celebrity. The guys name is probably like nar or something. Just basically his perfect life, tries to make it very poetic too.

Rindou- probably actually a song fic, the type with lyrics to match the mood. He just expresses himself a lot through music so brings it into his writing too.

Shion- another one with a self insert fic, this one really does go over the top though. Writes himself to practically conquer the world, winning every fight he gets into. 

Senju- Probably a fun adventure fic, I think she would also be pretty big on it being a family adventure/ a found family adventure. 

Wakasa- ok idk exactly why but he gives me those text fic vibes, where two characters are texting each other. I feel like he'd actually kinda unexpectedly enjoying making it too. 

Benkei- Another fic very high on the action, a lot of fights, the characters are likely based on the 1st gen Black dragons.

Shinichiro- Say's he's going to write smut but then gets too embarrassed and ends up with fluff instead. 

South- ok I think he'd also write a kinda lyric fic but instead of lyrics he'd just straight up put musical notes down. He's just so passionate about it and doesn't really care if others don't understand what those mean (he'd passionately explain it to anyone who asked though)

[mushroomjeremy]

I have been holding on to this design for a little while now. Thinking about how best to deliver how I changed the character and if I did enough.

I really want to get to clearing my 'to post' folder out. So I guess its better now than never.

This is Dr. Jair Shimmer a rewrite for SCP 963. Ignore that this is almost the exact same design in my Clight artwork; I liked the design so I kept it.

His main gimmick is that he study cursed object not just 963. He wears many curse object regardless of moral or ethical reasons against it. His office is chalk full of them, enter at your own caution.

SCP 963 isnt to much changed from base one, only thing is the souls in the amulet can be retrieve. Very hard thing to do and Shimmer needs to do that action all on there own and he kinda does not care to do that.

I do want to make more bodies for Shimmer but Im very busy and Im scared to draw women.

Past Keep Reading is just headcanons (do I even call them that at this point?)

The amulet is made of out silver, Red Beryl/Bixbite, and different colored sapphires.

While I am using He/Him in this post, Shimmer is a genderfluid, pansexual, panromantic with any pronouns as long as your not taking the piss out of him

Despite shipping war, Shimmer is with Glass, Clef, and Kondraki. Sometime all at once.

He use to be cautious around cursed objects, but after 963 he started to become reckless knowing he'd always come back after the Foundation found him

963 works a little differently on how is possess someone. All it needed was an initial soul trap and the next person to pick it up will be possessed. If Shimmer kills themselves the curse is kinda broken, he would just be in the amulet and the next person to pick it up is the knew host.

So Able is out of the story.

Shimmer just touched it and became the host.

How he found out about SCP 963 abilities is a informant apart of a different GoI stabbed him in the back cause they thought Shimmer was getting to close to figuring out why they were in the Foundation in the first place

Shimmer went to Deer College to get a degree in Magic and Curses

Shimmer can see, read, and understand magic in objects and crystals but he himself is not a wizard/witch/Type Blue/ect.

He's a lot calmer here with a stern voice, though he still tells jokes when he feel in danger. Force of habit.

I wanted to keep this as I think it gives some good worldbuilding to the Foundation daily life. He does facilitate a betting ring for literally anything. You could put a bet on if the kitchen will be destroyed in the next breach or not.

Shimmer likes to see the personnel fight when bets don't go their way.

Where is Shimmer get money to pay back people? Who knows.

Shimmer has yet to see the gravity of immortality. He's in the phase of getting sick of dying but still careless with his bodies and "clones."

Oh yeah the Clones! How the amulet after a month could be taken off and put on another person? Well the Foundation uses that to their benefit instead of killing them. More bodies that can work on higher clearance levels stuff.

Shimmer can take of the amulet before the end of the month and still retain his body.

I also wanted to keep the Personnel Director position. I like him having all the information on the Personnel of the Sites he is place in. It could cause tension between characters if they fine out about Shimmer knowing those things or it could show how much they care about friends with this information. Example for both: Clef

I want to do the rest of the Family as well but its still a wip. But I will say I wanted to explore ableism as a defining problem for the family in its dysfunction

If I remember or figure out anymore I'll come back here maybe.

[ctommy-chileno]

Here's a list of some ongoing fanfictions I've been following if you want some literature

(Ongoing as in. Updated in the past month or this month)

Butterfly Reign: You know this one, it's the angst full and oddly yellow one. I always end up finding out it updated a day before it released how does that keep happening?. It's a good read, the characters get deeper the more you read it, and yet even with all their hidden lore and ok ish intentions I still want them to suffer because I'm a spiteful bitch. Unreliable narrator to you I believe him.

In the name of the fucking moon: Its a magical girls AU with the benchers and the family, more on the old school monster of the week type of magical girls but with continuity. If you imagine the scenes in your head while reading please add an 80's anime filter over it. Fun to read 👍 I got halfway through and I'm waiting for it to finish so I can binge it.

Guided evolution: Only read this if you have a lot of free time or the time management skills of a lawyer because this here is 300.000+ words and incredibly good. Every chapter I do nothing but worry for my spider son. Hasn't he been through enough I ask, while seeing I'm on chapter 52 out of 75. I know the answer, and it only serves to hurt me.

How to be the biggest trainer ever: Crimeboys go in a pokemon adventure. A very friendly fun read, like the pokemon anime but with your favourite white boys having fun 👍the world is set on gen 1 I think, so use that soundtrack

The stars and their children: Ive only read till chapter 5 and that's enough to know its good (also the fact that I follow the author here on tumblr so I get spoiled every once in a while hehe) This one is more sandduo focused and it has cool sci fi monarchy and it's also very near to end?? I didn't know that. Guess I'll get up to date then. Star tommy did nothing wrong I haven't seen him do much of anything but if he does in the other 19 chapters be aware he did nothing wrong

By the morrow: this one is weird and interesting in the most enticing way possible. What the fuck is going on. I must know all the reasons behind what is happening here. It can be quite macabre so be aware. I only found this one because the author posted the updates to tumblr. Oh yeah the synopsis, superhero au where the ctommy is a nobody who dies and fucks around the town in his ghost form but shit hits the fan incredibly quickly.

Who the ever loving fuck made me a prince: Its an Isekai yipee, our main boy (el ctommy) reads a book where a kid prince dies. L. Then he wakes up as that same kid!!! Oh no!!! Good news is he's reincarnated right in baby zone so he has plenty of time and skill to make sure won't die 👍, its fun, if you like isekais and don't mind some anime trope baby ism then you will live another day

Proof that life hates tommyinnit personally: This is a mystery!!! Spooky!! With touches of angst, perhaps more than some touches but hey the thrill!! The search!! I enjoy the use of the "it's not paranoia if they're really put to get you" tag. Its one of those fics that if it ever gets dropped I would go to the authors house to ask how was it supposed to end. I need. To know. Oh yeah summary: el ctommy is homeless and has many friends in a local mall who don't know that. This is only one (1) of his problems as he's recently gained a stalker, and everything points to being someone he knows ?? Question mark?? Fun.

TommyInnit's Declassified Vigilante Survival Guide: Ah a good old vigilante fic, just like mama used to make. it checks all the marks: benchtrio living together, villain sbi, when the family is founded, heroes yet bad?? and introducing a cool new power to the boy, what a joy! It is funny and it is cool

Our love it's like a burning sun: you've heard of racconinnit, birdinnit, ratinnit, cat shifter innit, possumi- hm I haven't heard that actually, anyways get ready for Red Panda innit, here's a red panda shifter who runs away from mean kingdom and goes to nice kingdom where he can find some family. And sometimes that's all you need to face the horrors

Thunder on my bones: ANOTHER superhero au listen man this one is good trust me. We have superhero boy being sidekick to mean superhero then gets moved to nice family of superheroes and the family is found :)) but also there's villains that want to fuck him up , uh oh! How will they found the family in this conditions! I also really like the design of the tommy superhero outfit, it has a really nice detail that I love imagining in my head ^^

There are more but these are long and easy to get into

[chelleztjs18]

The Monsters Within (N.R) Pt. 3

Dark!FemReader x Natasha Romanoff (Modern AU)

Summary: You like Natasha and you are keeping her to yourself.

Warning: This is Dark FIc, 18+, a lot of swearing words. Graphic and gore descriptions, kidnapping, mind manipulations / brainwashing, blood, death,violence, bone crushing and stockholm syndrome. Let me know if i miss anything.

a/n: hello peeps! Well, I was gonna post it a little later today but i might be busy today so this is pt. 3. Sorry for the crappy newspaper headlines. I don't know how to make a good one. lol. I think this part is a little rollercoaster ride.. :D pt. 4 will be up after the holiday because I will be taking a break and have a family vacation. Happy reading!

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

Since that night she kissed you and slept in your arms, everything has been really good between you and Natasha. She helps you with the house chores with assistance from James. Like a dream housewife, she always welcomes you home from work every single day with a bright smile and cooks meals. Natasha and you always have something to do at home. A few months later, She doesn’t even care anymore about the world outside your house.

Months have finally almost reached a year since the first time you brought Natasha to your house against her will but now she lives with you by choice. Not even a single thought about leaving you came to her mind. She doesn’t want to be found by the police. The fact that she was kidnapped is out of the window by now.

You, you are happy with your days with Natasha now. You start to trust her more by now and no longer have any worry that she will leave you.

The night is cold and very quiet. The cold breeze touches your skin as soon as you get out of your car. The silence around your acres of property makes you hear the wind blow with no problem. The sounds of the leaves and the tree branch shaking because of the wind are the usual sound you hear. You look up at the sky and it’s filled with pretty stars, reminding you of Natasha’s eyes when they twinkle in excitement followed by a smile.

The thought of her stops as you have to continue what you have to do next, bring in your latest victim. The smell of your victim’s blood forcing out as soon as you open the trunk. The wind blows a whiff of the scent.

The beige burlap sack that wraps the dead female victim is now mostly red, drenched by her own blood. You carefully drag her into your basement through the back door. You don't feel the cold because of  the effort of bringing it inside. Your breathing gets faster from the adrenaline rush as soon as you cut the sack open and see the helpless woman. Blood still flows out from the slit on her throat.

"You poor thing. You didn't have to die this messy if you didn't fight me. Pretty but such a pain in the ass." You talk as if the blonde can hear you.

You left her on the floor, lay in the pool of her blood and decided to check on your favorite woman upstairs even though you are sure that she is asleep now. You are just happy every time you come home to her.

You open your door room slowly and find her asleep. You take a few seconds to look at her from the edge of the bed, admiring her red locks that's paired well with the color of her skin. Her cute little nose. You caress her hair lovingly.

The fresh rusty smell from the blood that was on your hand earlier gradually wakes her up.

"Hey. You are home. What time is it?" Her eyes search for the number on the digital clock that's on the nightstand.

"It's 2 a.m, sweetheart. I just came in here to check on you and give you a kiss. Why don't you go back to sleep." You answer and suggest her then leave her no room to argue by sealing her lips with a short kiss.

Natasha tastes the blood from your chapped lips and she pulls her face away from yours to see if you are okay.

"Your lips are busted. Are you okay?" She asks at the same time with noticing some small stains of splashed blood on your face. Worry sparks on her eyes.

"I'm okay. You know, blonde girls always fight back. This one was a fighter so I had to cut her throat." An obvious casual tone is clear in your explanation.

"Did you bring the body home?" Her eyebrows draw closer together while she asks. Her thumb tries to clean the smudged blood off your face skin.

"Yeah, it's in the basement. I have to take care of it, that's why I gotta go downstairs now." 

Her hand catches yours and stops you midway from getting up. “Do you really have to go downstairs now?” Her sleepy voice asked.

“Yes, sweetheart. Her blood is everywhere. It’s a mess down there.”

“Can’t you take care of it tomorrow? Or tell James to deal with it? Come to bed with me please.” She tries to convince her with the endearing whiny tone.

You look at her and find her so adorable with her drowsy pouty face. Of course you can’t say NO to it. You sigh in defeat. “Alright, love. I need to take a shower first to wash all the blood, okay?”

She nods understandingly. Unfortunately, what you said earlier about blonde girls really hit a bell in her mind. It sends waves of thoughts about her sister, Yelena.

Her mind can't stop thinking about her. A few disturbing what if's creeped up in her mind. What if one day you meet her? She remembers you said that you won't hurt anybody who is important to you but it's not enough to give her assurance. What if someday you kill her sister. She knows how Yelena is, a fighter but you are too crazy to fight off.

When she thinks her mind won’t think anything worse, a lot more thoughts come. The disgusted feelings come back and haunt her. Natasha despites how casual she was when both of you talked about taking lives and the dead innocent people you brought home to get rid of them for good. Her heart is clogged with guilt and heavy with disappointment. It’s so strong that she hates herself because of it. She is sick to her stomach. Everything spirals in her against her heart and mind, getting too overwhelming for her.

She feels your presence in the room as you finally lay in bed with her. The feelings of your arms wrap her  body, hugging her close and it push everything to the worst point.

You fell asleep quickly but not her. The thoughts keep her up for a good few hours but her body slowly but surely betrays her and she falls asleep just right before you wake up. The physical and mental exhaustion suck her deep in her slumber. By afternoon, she finally woke up. Her hand finds your side of the bed is empty and cold.

She walks around the house to find you. “Y/n? Are you here?” Silence answered her call for you. She keeps searching for you in every room in the house. She continues her steps to your office.

"Y/n?" She opens the door only to find that you are not there. Taking the advantage she has from being alone in the house, she decides to look around your office because you never really let her get in there.

The perfectly neat cozy office feels a little dark and quiet. She checks out some of your books on your desk, then her eyes wander around to find something more about you. As she opens the drawer to see what's in it, something catches her attention.

She quickly takes out the stack of fliers and newspapers. She gasps softly in disbelief. Her face was draining of color. Heart pauses for a beat when she finds out what the fliers and the newspapers are telling her.

She reads the fliers and she easily figures out that they were made by Yelena and probably her best friend, Maria from the phone number in it. Tears start to pool in her eyes, thinking about how they walk around to give out the fliers so they can find her. She instantly guessed that you might have met Yelena or Maria face to face and it was so disturbing for her that you could collect the fliers and hide it from you like they were nothing.

Her jaws tighten, she swallows the lump in the back of her throat. Her eyes can’t resist reading the old newspapers. They are from a few months after she got kidnapped.”

“Yelena Belova, the sister of the missing person, Natasha Romanoff, believes that she is still alive.” was part of the headline of one of the newspapers.

“Dreykov, the owner of the restaurant where Natasha Romanoff works, has been reported missing. It is still unclear if their disappearance was caused by the same suspect.” her chest feels burdened and heavy that she can’t continue to read the rest of the article from another past date news

Her heart feels like it might explode with emotions as soon as she reads another past newspaper’s headline. “Is Yelena Belova the next victim?”

Natasha quickly reads more. “According to their neighbor as well as their best friends, Marial Hill, Yelena has been out of reach a while after she left to find her sister. The cops have added her name to the missing people list. People start to panic about a serial killer or kidnapper roaming free in their town, looking for the next victim.”

Her lungs feel hardened like concrete after she reads it. Throat feels thickened with emotions. Her mouth feels dry, fingers turn cold and her hands are shaky after she tears the fliers and the newspapers to shreds.

She can’t hold back her cry for a little but her mind recalls about your last victim, she rapidly directs her steps to the basement.

“Y/n! Where are you?!” She calls for you then followed by a few sniffles. She is ready to confront you about them. Her stomach churn right away as soon as the glass room takes place in her sight. Flashbacks give her anxieties. Her heart beats weirdly and rushes all of a sudden. She tries to take a deep breath as her way to calm down while she is casting about for you.

She is surprised that everything is clean, thinking you might be in the bathroom where you keep the acid bathtub.

Sharp air freshener scents and air purifier are fighting the blood smell out of the ventilations. She walks into the bathroom and you are not there. Just like people always say, curiosity kills the cat, she looks into the bathtub to see what your latest victim looks like but Natasha died a little when she found it empty.

Being with you almost a year definitely makes her know you or your routine pretty well. She knows your steps to get rid of your killing trace. A question barges into her mind. Why?

Why is the tub empty if you need to dissolve the person you killed last night? Where is the dead body? She thinks if you are trying to hide something from her. She wonders if James not being here has something to do with all this as well.

All the questions and everything she sees in both the office and basement certainly push her mind straight to the thinking point that you are crazier than she thought she knew. The urge to find her sister is so strong that she undoubtedly decided that she needs to get out of your house while she can, before it’s too late.

She quickened her steps to the back door where you usually drag in your victim from the backyard and it's locked. She tries to rattle the door knob or kick the door but it's still locked. She seeks the key around and it's nowhere to be found. Panic slowly clouded her thoughts.

She runs upstairs and she is on a mission to find another way out. She keeps turning her head randomly to make sure that she is still alone. The feelings that she is being watched constantly there and it's only make her panic skyrocketing.

She darts to the front door and manages to get out but sadly the tall gate is digitally locked. She is on the verge to cry, her breathing starts to race with her drumming heart. By the time she almost gives up, she decides to try one last way out.

She scurries to the backyard, thinking the fences are shorter or there might be something that can help her to climb out. She was wrong, there’s nothing she can utilize to climb out the fence. She tries and tries to climb but all of her efforts come to nothing. She breaks down and falls onto her knees, crying her eyes out as she lowering her gaze to the ground.. The thought that she will never be able to see her only sister anymore breaks her.

“Going somewhere?” Your voice startled her, her own gasp chokes her a little from imagining what will you do after catching her trying to run away. She turns around. “Y/n, I–I–I’m sorry. I just–” She stutters while watching you walk closer to her. Tears slipped from the corner of her eyes. She spots what's in your left hand. “Why–why are you holding your gun?” She nervously asks.

You caught her eyes glancing at the handgun. “Oh this? Aw don’t worry, Natty. I won’t use this on you. I was going to practice shooting. Come with me.” You tilt your head and smile. You extend a hand. Her shaky one hesitantly grabs yours and she stands up with your help. Her breathing is still trying hard to calm down as she is following where you lead her.

You took her to the other side of the backyard where you usually shoot some targets. You put the gun down and casually grab something to drink. “It seems like you are out of breath, I bet you are thirsty after running around. You want some ice tea?” You offer.

From your words, she is aware that you know what she tried to do. Despite her fear, she tries to answer calmly. “No, thank you.” yet her eyes secretly pay attention to the gun that’s in reaching distance by the both of you. Anticipation is killing her. Her lips feel so dry. You take a few sips of your tea. She puts her hand in her pocket to make it look not too obvious that she is ready to reach the glock if she has to.

“Ah, it’s a good ice tea. So, Natty, are you leaving me?” your question stabs through her gut. Heart thumping loudly, tongue feels heavy. “No.” She lied.

“Are you sure? Because I saw everything in the camera, darling.”

“Fuck.” The only word that’s in her head. Her jaws lock shut no matter how much she tries to explain. “Use your words, sweetheart.” you insist her to confess.

"I thought you love me and you won't leave me." You add.

"No, I don't love you, y/n! I never said that! Not even once!" Her lower lips tremble and her voice is raised. All while she is denying your words.

“I know but all your actions say it all. The kiss—” you were stopped mid talking by another of her denial. “The kiss meant nothing!” Her chest starts to rise and fall again. Her eyes are avoiding yours. You know what her body language means.

You ignore her fake resentment towards you and you make your way deeper in her mind. “I know you love me because I left so many chances for you to kill me and run away but you didn’t.”

“W-what did you mean?” she stuttered once more. She starts to feel that she is spinning. She tries to recall things she might have missed.

“The sharp knife that sometimes I leave near you while we cook together, the random places I put my gun at so they will be visible or in reaching distance to you. The poison or chemical that is not supposed to be anywhere in the kitchen where you always cook for me. The bleach, or the ax over there and many more, darling, but you didn’t kill me. You love me.” your lips turning up into a confident smile.

Her shoulders drop. The rush of her blood from her heart beat that goes rigid makes her ears ring and blush creeps up her neck. “No. No. That’s not true. Stop talking! Y/n, I need to find my sister. I need to know if she's okay." She gradually turns hysterical, responding to sickening truth from you in gritted teeth yet she still tries to change the topic. She distracts you or perhaps herself by talking about Yelena.

"You could've just asked me, Natasha. I can tell James to check on her. I know where to find Yelena." And just like that, the last statement you said and how you chuckle trigger the memory about the dead blonde and a mix of feelings at the same time .

I know where to find Yelena. Your voice keeps echoing over and over in a few seconds. Anger, anxiety, guilt, disappointment and hatred melt in one pot of emotion inside her. As if it has its own mind, her hand suddenly grabs the firearm near her.

Before you know it, the cold tip of the gun is only an inch in front of your forehead. She sees that you didn’t flinch at all. You even chuckle once more and can say that you are proud of her.

“Where is the blonde?” she asks in a very shaky emotional tone.

“Which blonde, Natty?” you look deep into her glistening eyes. The gun looks shaky by the way she is holding it. You are not afraid at all. This is what you wanted, pushing her to her very last limit so it will awaken what you know is in her.

“DON’T YOU Natty me, Y/n! Where is the blonde you killed last night?! Tell me!” she demands in a louder and more indignant voice.

“Oh, her? She’s gone.”

“Why is she not in the bathtub like the others? What are you hiding from me?!”

“Oh I was just trying a new way to get rid of bodies. James helped me with it. Why the sudden interest?” you casually explained, followed by a malicious smile.

"I found the fliers and the newspapers in your office that you hid from me!" Her raspy voice is uncontrollable because of the wave of emotions in her.

"Oh.. well, just like people always say Natasha.. Out of sight, out of mind. I couldn't let you see those." You explain disturbingly calm.

"So, it doesn't bother you to see an overnight dead body that has a slit on its throat and it's also probably slowly rotten? Do you know what it means? It means we are the same, Natasha. Normal people won't feel okay to see a dead body. We are not normal, sweetheart." You added in a little bit of whispering and it gave her chill down to her spine.

She tightened her grips on the gun. Your answer boils her blood. “God damn it, y/n! Tell me where the dead body is. I need to see what she looks like. I need to know if you—if you—” her words are pushed back into her throat as she tries to not break in front of you.

“If I killed your sister?” you easily finished her sentence as if you had the same mind as her.

Her fear of what you would say next caught her tongue. She is speechless but the urge to go run and find Yelena gets stronger. You noticed her slight reaction and you know what she was thinking about.

"Oh, sweet Natasha, I would never hurt let alone kill her." The gentle and calm answer she heard from you woke every single tiny hair on her.

"How can I believe you? You kill people for fun for fuck sake!! Taking people's lives like they are nothing!"

“Because I love you and I would kill for you but not the people that you love. That’s not enough?” You pitch back your question to her.

“Stop your mind game! I swear to God, y/n, let me go or else!!” She threatens.

“Or else, what? Or else you will kill me? Go ahead. Shoot me and go find your sister. I know you won’t pull the trigger.” one step, that was all it took for the gun to touch your forehead. You are ready if she shoots you. You don’t care if you die. All you care about is her and you know that she loves you enough not to kill you.

Adrenaline starts to rush all over you, gambling your life on her hand. Taking chances and putting it at stakes to prove your point about her.

Your left hand confidently grabs the end of the gun that's on your forehead to keep it there as you say "Come on, Nat. Blow my fucking head off if you don't love me!"

"Y/n, don't be too cocky! I will fucking shoot you!" Once again she warns you and she pushes the gun harder on your head to intimidate you more just like you did to Dreykov. You can feel how shaky she is and hear how her voice almost breaks as she speaks. You love the fact that she learnt and followed what you did.

“I have nothing to lose, Nat. I have nobody. Shoot me and go find your sister.” your calm provoking voice shook her emotion even harder. She started panting yet tried to maintain her facial expression that looks cold and eerily calm.

Her repetitive breathing sounds get faster and faster. Her index finger slowly gets closer to the trigger. She starts to grunt because of her internal struggle. Her finger refuses to pull it. The thick lines of hatred in her heart and the urge to shoot you are now blurry and slowly fading.

After waiting for a few more seconds and watching the internal fight in her, eye contacts were caught between you and her. Just like that, you see that she finally pulls the gun away from your head and drops it on the floor. She lowers her head and you hear her shed tears.

You walk to her and give her a hug. “It’s okay, darling.” you try to soothe her and it easily works. She slowly calms down despite the disappointment she feels for herself. Another ugly truth with an obvious proof claws deep in her that it hurts her internally.

She then hears your voice calling James to come. The tall guy comes within minutes with a packed small suitcase.

You let her go from your hug shortly before you explain to her what’s in the suitcase.

“I’m letting you go. I packed this for you. I bought some new clothes. Some money too to provide you enough and you can always ask for more if you need it. I put a new cell phone too if you want to use it, if not then it’s okay. One last thing, there is a burgundy envelope in it. It has the code for the gate and the front door just in case. This house is always open for you. My sweet Natasha, you are free to go.”

Natasha slowly gasps in disbelief of what she just heard. You finally let her go. For a good few seconds she thought she was dreaming but the cold gust of wind and the sounds of the brushing tree branches show her that it's real. You finally let her gain her freedom back.

It was all not just because you love her but because you know and you are very sure that she will come back to you. There is not even an inch of doubt in you about it. You know she has feelings for you, you just indirectly give her more ways for her to realize it.

Natasha doesn’t even blink when she looks at you. Her eyes gleamed and flickered with a mix of confusion and excitement. She is speechless. Her eyes wander around your face as if she wants to adore your looks one more time before she leaves.

“Thank you.” she whispers. You smile to her gratitude. “James will drop you off at your place.” She nods without any words then turns her back on you and with that she walks away, leaving you. A few heavy steps later, she looks back at you for a few seconds then this time she forces herself to leave.

She feels numb from her confusion. It all hit her at once when she couldn’t bring herself to hurt you nor kill you.

_____

The redhead quickened her steps in front of her apartment door. Her heart beats like crazy, she really hopes for Yelena to be home. As soon as she thinks about getting the spare key, she is confused that the plant where she puts the spare under it is gone as well.

Despite the confusion she has, she rings the bell. She rings it one more time and another one. Emptiness and silence was all she got. No one opens the door, making the pit of her stomach fall. Her heart thudded. Worry gnawed at her. She now knocks on the door. “Lena! I’m home..” She knocks abruptly now again and again but still the same result.

“Yelena Belova, please open the door. It’s me, Nat.” She asks worriedly as she’s not giving up on the knocking. After multiple times of trying to call Yelena, she gets distracted by the sound from an opening door of the other unit.

“Natasha? Is that–you?” Natasha hears the familiar voice. She walks as fast as she can to see if it’s her neighbor and co-worker, Maria.

“Maria. Yes, it’s me, Nat.” She turns her head and walks to her.

“Oh my God! Nat! You–you are back! Are you okay? Where have you been? What happened?” The black hair woman rushes to give her best friend a hug while she asks her a bunch of questions..

Natasha returns the hug even tighter. Both of them break into such emotional moments. “Oh my God! I’m so glad you are alive. We’ve been so worried. Shit, we should report to the police so they will stop their search for you. I–uh-I will go with you.” Maria pulls herself from the hug and expresses whatever is in her mind at this moment.

“No. No. Not right now. No cops. I need to see Yelena first. Where is she? Please tell me that she's okay.” She begs and holds her cry at the same time.

“Uh–you might want to come in here and sit while I answer your question.” The taller woman invites Natasha into her place and she accepts.

_____

“Here is some water, Nat.” Maria hands her a bottle of water as she sits next to her best friend. Shortly after taking some sips of the water, Natasha can’t wait any longer to ask the same question. “So please tell me, do you know where my sister is? Has she called you? Is she back?” Natasha looks worried sick and it’s making it hard for Maria to tell her the truth.

“Oh.. Uh, I’m sorry Nat. Yelena doesn’t live there anymore. I don’t know where she is right now. She only told me that she was going to look for you.” Maria explains. The answer makes Natasha’s face lose its color. Fear clawed inside her.

“Can I borrow your phone? I need to call her cellphone. Have you tried to call her or anything?” Maria notices her tone gets more anxious every second.

"I did but unfortunately it didn't go through. I tried to call her as soon as I found out that Dreykov has mysteriously disappeared too. Yelena is on the missing person list now.” Natasha holds her gasp and her reaction at the mention of his disappearance. Deep inside, she is determined to keep everything she knows to herself to protect you. She is lost in her thoughts until she hears more of what Maria is saying.

“You can try to call her if you want but I doubt it will go through.” Maria offers as she hands Natasha her phone. Of course, she tries to call her sister a few times. The emotional built up that's stirred up with heavy stacks of worry finally breaks her into a sob.

Maria pulls her into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Nat. I wish I could help more. I think it's better that you stay here with me and don’t worry, you can stay as long as you want. I'm here for you, to help you get through all this. You can wait for Yelena to come back here with me."

Nat nods in her hug. She is grateful that she still has her best friend, Maria. “Can you not tell anybody yet that I’m back. I still need time to process and handle everything that had happened.” She requests.

“Of course, of course. Take as much time as you need. Just let me know if you need anything, okay?” Maria gives the assurance that Natasha needs.

“Thank you, Maria. You are all I have right now. I’m sorry for being a burden for you.”

“No, please Nat. Don’t worry. That’s what friends are for. How about you take a shower now while I prepare the guest room for you, okay?”

“Okay, thank you so much.” Natasha answers, followed by a few sniffles.

Since then, Natasha spends most of her time in the room. She keeps thinking about Yelena and all the possibilities that happen. Did you really kill her sister? Or is Yelena really roaming around out there miserably looking for her. Everytime her logic accuses you of killing Yelena, her heart always tries to convince her that you didn’t kill her. The look on your face and how you told her that you won’t kill people that she loves convinces her that you didn’t yet doubt you that you wouldn’t at the same time.

Not just that, she got tangled in her emotions and thoughts. Part of her, crying and wishing that Yelena will call Maria or even come back while the other part can’t stop thinking about you and longing for your presence. Yes, as much as she wanted her freedom and reunite with her sister, Natasha immediately wants to go back with you.

It didn’t take long for her to crave for your presence and care. Vivid images of your smile or when happiness glowed in your eyes are parading in her mind. She loves your laugh and thinks that your little chuckles sound very adorable. Your voice and your touches are addictive to her. It drives her crazy that the view of your face with a little splatter of blood or the dark crimson smudged stain anywhere on you keeps showing up in her mind and it scares her that the more she thinks about it the more she is attracted to you. It makes her longing for you no matter how hard she tries to deny it.

What about that time you told her that you love her? Or the moment you let her see your vulnerable side? What about the time that you kissed her back?

The ghost of your lips on hers that she can still feel it so real doesn’t help at all. She wants to feel them again on her lips and even all over her body, feeling your bloody hands laying soft touches on her skin. Living small red trails on it. Like a doomed circle of evil, after a few seconds of twisted imagination she has in her mind, then another second she is disgusted by the sinister “Natasha” in her.

She thought the first few days will be hard and it will get easier for her to handle but she is definitely wrong. She knows that she has to fight the urge to find you.

Days of missing you so badly and weeks of refusing those feelings, fighting it like it’s for her dear life gets harder and harder for her.

It has been a month and a half of her living with Maria and she is running out of excuses for not telling her what happened in almost the past year. As much understanding as Maria is, it adds another weight in Natasha’s heart and leaves her with no more room to avoid Maria’s questions. 

The pressure she gets from every aspect definitely makes Natasha even question herself. What should she do? Should she just tell her everything that happened? Tell her about you? And let her turn you in to the cops? Then live in uncertainty of where Yelena is, is she alive? Should she move on with her life, without you but constantly thinking about you? Fighting herself internally the rest of her life and denying how much she misses you and dying to see you again?

Or should she just give her life and her freedom away willingly to have the dream life with you? Is it even a dream life? Or is it just a make believe world that you created in her mind?

Pt. 4

A/n: Welp, that's it for today. Let me know what you think! Reblog and comments are highly appreciated. Follow me for more and see u in next.

Cheerio!

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[arceespinkgun]

Oh it's 100% about people not seeing Elita One as a character deserving to be an equal to Optimus. Arcee is pretty much the poster girl of Transformers and while I love that she's both a warrior and maternal figure, she's not a leader and nowhere near Optimus in terms of authority. People objecting to portray Elita One as an equal to Optimus or feature her at all in media feels almost reminiscent of when women were starting to get jobs, there were CERTAIN jobs for women and practically none of them were leadership roles. Transformers can have well written female characters but they won't be well treated by the narrative or creators, Transformers can have more than one female character in a comic/show but they will be pitted against each other (whether or not they're on different factions). Transformers can even have female leaders but they will never be perceived as equal to Optimus. That's pretty much the message that I've been getting from both Hasbro and fans

I totally get what you're saying, and I would've agreed 100% about ten years ago, but I actually think this is a fandom problem and not so much an issue with the shows/comics themselves now!

Cyberverse and Earthspark have the best ratio of genders ever in the franchise so far (Earthspark's seems practically 1:1 for women and men) and have a wide variety in relationships between women, from supportive friends to enemies. In Cyberverse, Windblade and Slipstream began as enemies but then found a lot of common ground, and the majority of Windblade's character development had to do with her grief over Slipstream's death—and Windblade and Chromia were nothing but close the whole time. Obviously in Earthspark, the Maltos are a supportive family, and the main villain of the series was a woman for a long time. While I still feel really bitter about Slipstream's death in Cyberverse, I didn't feel like any other woman was treated poorly by the narrative, and so far I feel like all the women in Earthspark have been treated very well by the narrative and have had a lot of strong development. I also want to note something about genderswaps in these shows—there were many, and I think they were all successful: Clobber is way more three-dimensional than Lugnut, Frenzy was almost never even in anything or given development until Earthspark. Plus, I feel like for me personally, I just respect the characters way more post-genderswap. I always thought Skywarp was totally boring, but her being a woman in Cyberverse, and both a woman and given more depth in Earthspark, made me see her even in other media in a new light. Same with Frenzy—post-Earthspark, I was actually excited to see the character do stuff in my Marvel read-through when I would not have cared at all before.

And sure, there only seems to be one Matrix, but Elita-1 in Earthspark as second-in-command is an authority who seems to be more respected by the Maltos than Optimus is in a lot of ways. Dot also seems to have the most authority within the Malto family, and among the Terrans, Twitch seems to have taken on a leadership role and has been getting a large amount of development. In Cyberverse, Shadow Striker ends up becoming Decepticon leader, and I think she may have been the first female leader of the Decepticons in the whole franchise?

I don't like the IDW comics overall, but in the first IDW series, Windblade becomes leader of all of Cybertron, but it's rarely mentioned. Arcee was basically second-in-command of the Autobots (also, she has a supportive relationship with her love interest who's also a woman!) for most of the later comics in that series, which are the ones most often discussed, but a lot of fans ignore that. Okay, there was a ton of room for improvement, but Elita-1 in the 80s cartoon was successfully portrayed in my opinion as an equivalent authority to Optimus Prime, especially given she must've been holding out for millions of years! Oh, and the Skybound comics have only been going for seven issues so far, but I noticed we already see Elita being an authority and a dynamic staring to form between Carly and Arcee.

I think something I've noticed is that all the problems you mention were absolutely severe in TFA and TFP, and those are often what fans on this site have seen. IDW also seems really popular here, but notice how IDW2 is almost entirely ignored, when that was the series that handled women better... and how in the instances where the first IDW series did make some improvements, people on here ignore the women to focus on dudes? As an IDW Elita-1 fan, I can't help but notice that all the big scary evil violent disabled queer-coded guys have tons of fans on Tumblr, but Elita is usually ignored or derided despite being better developed in the end than most of them. And Earthspark and Cyberverse, the shows I think did things best, often either get totally ignored on here, or criticized way more intensely than other, worse series.

TL;DR Totally agree about the fandom and about a lot of series, but I think newer series have been improving a ton and that it's good to note that improvement! Plus even when earlier series succeeded, people on here ignore the women a lot, unfortunately. I think this is more the perception issue and not so much about portrayal.

[seirei-bh]

Resolving Ashelin plot holes in Jak 3

I originally wrote all of this essay in a Word document for myself, trying to find various possible solutions for those plot holes, as something for my fanfic, but since I've spent months thinking about it and trying to figure it out on my own, I wanted to share my entire struggle with these issues here with the fandom too XD because maybe they could help to some people who also writes fics or we could just share opinions about it.

The plot holes were big and I don't know how they could have gone unnoticed the first time I played Jak 3, omg~

Ashelin's main problems and plot holes were:

1) Ashelin knew that Damas was still alive, but she didn't tell anyone.

2) Ashelin knew that both Jak and Damas belonged to the House of Mar since she gave the Seal of Mar to Jak in the oasis, and because she knew Damas before he was banished, but she never mentioned any of this to either Jak or Damas. Maybe she didn't know for sure that The Kid of the Underground was Damas's son, but she could have at least deduced that they were family and that Damas could be his uncle or something similar.

3) There is no explanation about how Ashelin managed to find out that Damas was still alive after his banishment, how she found him, and why Ashelin had a beacon to call him (the beacon she gave to Jak at the beginning of the game).

4) Ashelin had the power to directly dissolved the Grand Council without any problems, but she didn't do it before Jak was banished.

Okay, let's first resolve the issues regarding Damas:

1) The first problem can be solved simply by Damas making Ashelin promise that she would never tell anyone that he was still alive, so Baron Praxis wouldn't try to go find him, kill him, and wouldn't find out Spargus's existence. And she didn't tell this to the Underground either probably because Damas was already king of Spargus when Ashelin found him and he had no intention of ruling Haven again.

This issue actually could have been solved just with a line of dialogue and it's something at least to can imagine easily, but the other two problems are more difficult to solve, especially the second.

2) I can understand why Ashelin didn't tell Jak about Damas being his family at the beginning of the game because she was busy fighting a civil war and ruling a ruined city, also because she needed Jak to return to the city, and also the promise she (maybe) made to Damas. But she had had other opportunities throughout the game to mention it to Jak after Jak met Damas in the desert, or at the very least to tell him that Damas was perhaps his relative, without specifying why or how. I can also understand that it would be very difficult for her to explain the whole time travel mess to Damas, but still, it's no reason not to at least tell Jak. Or to tell it to Samos, Keira or Daxter, because they are the ones involved in the time travel and the characters closer to Jak since his childhood, so some of them could help her to explain all that to Damas. So a possible option that I have thought of is that Onin told Ashelin that she should not say anything so as not to intervene in the fate that the Precursors have in store for Jak. It's still a cheap excuse, but Onin is the character who always seems to know more about the future than everyone else. So my final conclusion was that Onin convinced her not to tell Jak, while Damas convinced her not to talk about his own existence to others or reveal that he was the king of Haven City. Besides in this way Onin's role in this game would be useful, lol, because I swear she got the same writing problems than Keira.

p.s.: I've read somewhere that some people think that Ashelin never told him just so that Jak would return to Haven City and not stay in Spargus, but Ashelin is not a villain like her father nor a manipulative person (that's Rayn, lol .And Onin-Pecker-Samos too in some way, but only for the greater good) so I doubt it. As I said it could have been a believable excuse at the beginning for tense moments in the war and having to take drastic decisions, but not throughout the entire game. She's a good person, dammit. However I admit this could have been an interesting idea but only with a better and longer writing and with a proper character development of both or the to create more drama and tension between Jak and the City, and even a reflection for Jak himself on whether he should put his personal affairs above the good of others or if the right answer is the opposite, and a post conversation with Damas about this and what means to be a hero and a ruler...

3) Now we are going to try to solve the third problem… here I came up with three options: A) Ashelin gave Damas that beacon so that he could tell him that he was still alive and Damas activated it only years later to ask for help at some point . B) Sig, any other wastelander spy or even Damas himself, went to Haven City and asked Ashelin directly if she knew anything about The Kid's kidnapping, and then they stayed in touch because she promised she would try to find out where the kid was. C) Ashelin ventured into the desert at some point before Jak2 events or sent someone to look for Damas to see if he was alive and perhaps ask him to return to the city, which he refused, but Damas still gave her a beacon to keep in touch because he appreciates her.

4) Now there is the matter of the Grand Council. Well, this isn't exactly a plot hole, it's lazy writing XD There's no logical excuse in the game, unless at that time Ashelin had more power than before for unexplained reasons or just scrapped democracy and became a dictator like her father, lol. She also might have gained more political power over the war issue, but this is conjecture. Personally my decision with this has been to change this completely in my fanfic for another type of more coherent path, so Ashelin would not have the power to resolve the Council just like that in that scene, but she would have to balance the power later and gradually take power away from Veger (I didn't post the chapters with that subplot yet, so I won't be very specific, but it is based on Ashelin gradually acquiring more power and influence among other politicians in a slower, but also more rational and cunning way, GoT style~)

As a side note, we also have the issue that they completely removed the romantic relationship supposedly established between Torn and Ashelin at the end of Jak 2, and replaced it with Ashelin with Jak, forgetting about Keira's existence as well, but that's not exactly a plot hole either, it's forced rewriting, and at least it was solved in Jak X.

OOHH, and there is a problem also related to her design, and I'm not only referring to her soldier uniform is totally sexualized and that's not funtional for a soldier either for a ruler who wants to be respected, but there is also other problem: she still wear the symbol of the old KG on the shoulder, while she should be wearing the symbol of the Freedom League, and probably also some blue/yellow colors instead of only red.

Well, that's all... it's amazing how I used to think the biggest problem with Jak 3 were the writing of Keira, Errol and the Dark Makers. Because the more you write, the more you find plot holes with other characters and subplots.

[inouvasplace]

OC Deep Dive

I was tagged by @mahvaladara so I guess I can go into a certain elezen for this one.

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

He has a huge fear of going blind (I think it's a fairly common fear for many). Already being deaf, he really fears losing his sight. In a way, he would lose all he has, not being able to hear anything, as well as not being able to read, would simply leave him unable to do anything. A more uncommon fear is losing books. His father was very passionate when it came to books, so for Ryl, losing one is horror.

Do they have any pet peeves?

That being deaf instantly makes it so people need to take care of you, and start treating you like you have some sort of mental problem on top. That and people who panic when they realize he can read their lips.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Books, a long pink colored ribbon, a doggy bed (that is never really slept in because the dog prefers his bed)

What do they notice first in a person?

Their eyes and the way they hold themselves.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

If it has to be put on a scale it would be an 8-9, mostly because of what happened to him in the past, part of his sensation is gone, so he doesn't feel pain the same way most do.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Fight, flight if he has to, but primarily fight.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

He doesn't know his origins, but what he does know is the man he called his father, and it was always just the two of them. He these days has a few friends he considers his family, so I guess he does qualify as a family person

What animal represents them best?

A cat, he is picky with the people in his life, and much like a cat, needs personal space.

What is a smell that they dislike?

coconut.

Have they broken any bones?

Yep, several times even.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

The tall, quirky, quiet head librarian in the Sharlayan main library.

Are they a night owl or a morning bird?

Morning bird, mostly because his father was one, and he always went with him when he went somewhere. It's simply a habit.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

Coffee, he loves how it smells, hates the taste. On the other side you have strawberries, which he loves how taste and will try and get his hands on some whenever

Do they have any hobbies?

If reading counts when you're a librarian... reading

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

He'd be slightly uncomfortable at first then warm up quickly. No one knows his nameday, it's currently the day his father found him wandering alone in the snow.

Do they like to wear jewelry?

He likes his earrings, but other than that he doesn't really care. Rings are in the way with books and he never had a wish for any.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Extremely messy to the point where you think he would be a doctor, but he can if he really tries to write a bit more nicely.

What are two emotions they feel the most?

Calm & Relaxed

Do they have a favorite fabric?

Thavnarian silk, it is extremely soft and comfortable

What kind of accent do they have?

He doesn't speak, and sign language has no accent

[ruka-the-animefangirl]

Happily Ever After

This is my first time writing a story for Twisted wonderland, but I did it for myself. I thought it was a cool concept and I wanted to write it. 

I’ll probably do the art of the characters and post them later. Thank you for reading !

It's a big realization, when a person finally sees how unfair the world is. Or at least just how fucked up it is. I was a sheltered kid, my family always surrounded me. There was never a time where I found myself alone somewhere. Someone was always with me. But the problem was…

My family hates me..

They don't like me, they can even stand me. So I was confused as a child, seeing my family always surrounding me but can't even look at me. Without that gleam of hate.

I never cared much, I only thought I was such a cool anime main character. That I was like Zuko from Avatar, being hated by my family but super cool and awesome.

But no matter what they still had my back, at least that's what I thought. I never even knew they hated me up until this moment. 

Until the day came where the universe was o so gracious enough to show me how wrong I was. During a beautiful sunny day. Me, a short 6 year old little girl, with black hair and brown eyes and glasses was invited to my cousin's, Mark, birthday party. He was 15 at that time, and he always made fun of me, but he didn't go too far. At least he was never allowed to. 

No matter, I was playing in the garden with my best friend. 

My family were inside talking and eating and celebrating. I didn't pay attention however.

"Morro, imagine if I was the green ninja. I won't be as cool as Lloyd but I would still be cool" I said grinning ear to ear. He chuckled and ruffled my hair. " Sure you would kid. But it's a really big responsibility ya know. I think your too short for that" 

"Heyy!! I'm gonna grow!" He laughed loudly at that. 

While we were talking (arguing), my mom came over and told me to keep it down.

"Brett come here, we're gonna start singing soon" I looked behind me to see my mom and aunts looking at me while holding a really big cake.

My eyes brighten up looking at it. It was 3 layers and was black and orange. Mark is a basketball player, so the cake was basketball themed, it had small decorations with tiny basketballs. That was all it took, I needed to eat that cake.

"OK ma! I'm coming" 

I turned to look at Morro so I saw him standing and holding his hand out, "let's go?" I smiled and grabbed his hand. He pulled me up and picked me up. "Let's go eat that cake before you blow up" 

I giggled and went inside, while holding Morro's hand. Everyone was already gathering near the table. So I just walked between people's legs till I was near my other cousins. 

I was the youngest and the shortest kid, so everyone was bigger nonetheless. Morro stayed behind me as everyone sang happy birthday to Mark. Then came the time to eat CAKE!

All the adults left right after, like they always do during our birthdays. Something about them drinking the red grape juice. 

I just enjoyed my third slice of cake with Morro. He doesn't eat anything, I don't know why. Like its food, food is good. He did take a bite of the cake though so I was happy enough.

Anyways, while I was eating and talking to him. Alan and Mark came up to us. Alan is Mark's youngest brother, he was 13. They sat down next to me and started asking me about my imaginary friend.

"Hey short stack! How's that imaginary guy of yours" Alan said while grinning wildly,

"He's doing fine" I said in a small voice and kept eating. 

He never even gets mad at them either, he just smirks and watches us interact. He does always tell me not to react if they try to bully me, and that's what I learned to do.

"You seriously need to grow up, you look like such a weirdo outside. Do you know how weird my friends looked at me cos of ya!" Mark said while picking up his plate with cake.

"Good thing they thought you were a stupid toddler, so they dropped it." 

Leo stood up, "yeah like why don't you just start acting like normal people, remember last week?"

"Oh yeah where she jumped in the lake and accused her imaginary friend" 

His friends came up to us, one of them asking if he was serious.

They all just laughed and laughed as they kept reminiscing about the times they found funny.

I remembered that moment, it was when I was playing with Morro and he picked me up and threw me into the river. We then swam together and saw fishes.

My mom got mad at me later on because she found me drenched and yelled at me for jumping into the water with no supervision. 

While they kept laughing, my mood slowly disappeared. Why can't they leave me alone…

Morro, sensing my discomfort, ruffled my hair and told me, "do you want more cake? I'll get you some more." He smiled at me " These idiots are gonna stay idiots, so ignored them"

I looked down on my plate, "sure I want cake I said softly" 

As he prepared to get up, Leo looked at me and said while smiling "awww are you talking to your imaginary friend ?"

Mark laughing chimed in "you want more Cale? Seriously?" 

He looked around and then back at me, "why don't you take mine then? I don't feel like eating more"

He grabbed his cake and threw it at me. I stayed frozen, hair and face covered in cake, some of the cream falling down on my dress. 

Morro looked at me and grabbed some tissues and started to wipe my face.

The rest of my cousins realized what happened and joined in the laughter.

They didn't care about me, they all just laughed at me whenever Mark torments me. My aunt, Malak, came to the room to see what the commotion was about. Saw me and chuckled a bit. "Brett, sweetie how did you get cake all over you" 

Mark got up and pretended to wipe the cake off of my dress. "She tried and fell on her slice. I was just helping her out." He said smiling.

"Yeah but we also couldn't help to laugh at her" Leo said, "sorry, haha" 

She smiled and then looked at me. She was the only person who cared about me besides Morro; but she always took Mark's side because he was one of the older children. 

Malak wasn't a very tall person, but she was super nice. She always covers her hair with a cloth, when I asked about it, she said it's because of her religion. I don't know much about it, only that my parents disapproved of it a little, but were still content with Malak. My uncle was also part of the religion I think. Cos I see him praying similarly to how she prays. 

My parents don't follow a religion, I don't think they do. We don't go to church, unlike some of the people we see. Nor do they pray or wear the cloth like Malak and my uncle. 

Whenever I asked Morro, he avoided the topic and said that he believes there is God or multiple Gods and doesn't say anything else. So I just do the same, I believe there is a God there, but he makes things really hard for people sometimes, I don't know why tho. 

Breaking my thoughts, Malak picked me up and took me to my mom. Who, the moment I saw me, glared at me so hard. My eyes started to water. 

She scolded me and told me I should have been more careful after Malak explained to her the situation. 

My mom is a tall woman, she was harsh and very serious. She always made sure that I did well in school, even if I'm still a child. She got me to take up music and sports so that I have activities to do after school. 

She always has big expectations of what I need to do, and how to do them. Whenever I don't reach them she gets mad and grounds me. So when she saw me with a dirty dress covered in cake. She was livid. 

"Charlotte, calm down, it was obviously an accident. You know how Brett is." My dad calmed her down, she stared at him and sigh. "Drop it Oliver, she knows better"

She took me to the bathroom and kept scolding me while cleaning me up. 

I started to cry, snot and tears running down my face. "But Mark was making fun of me and threw the cwake at me awnd I couwldnt-"

"Stop! That's enough from you. Why do you always have to accuse Mark of stuff? Just drop it!" Suddenly she gasped horrified. She called my dad over, who also came in and looked at me horrified. He sat down with a smile and held my shoulders tightly, and started to chant something. Some of my uncles and aunts came too and just stared at me. They were all glaring at me, eyes filled with hatred. When suddenly I passed out. The last thing I saw was Morro staring at me with glowy red eyes.

At that time I never knew what that situation was about, but what I did know was that not only was the world shit. But it also hates me. The reason was unknown to me until I was 10 years old. When Morro finally explained to me the situation. 

Why everyone I knew ignored his existence, why he was able to come to school with me, why I was the black sheep of the family.

 To make things clear, I have known Morro since I was a baby. He was so cool and was my only friend. He was always there for me, no matter what happened. But I fully got to know him when I was 3, when we became friends. He played with me when my parents didn't. He gave me food, clothed me and walked me to places. My parents never brother to do any of this. They only cared that I stayed silent and polite. And kept the appearance of a normal child. Which obviously wasn't the case, especially since I walk to Morro every time of the day. He told me his name was Moros. Which reminded me of a bunch of Morro from Ninjago, so that's how I ended up calling him Morro. He didn't mind, so I kept it. He was tall, like really tall 190 cm tall. He has dark purple wavy hair, and wears makeup. He's the definition of an emo kid honestly speaking. He swore a lot- which is where I got my swearing problems too- he taught me to be independent, and how to be myself. He helps me with my homework, especially the extra ones ma gives me to make me smarter than other kids. He hates my family, and they hate him too. For a good reason too.

"I'm Moros, but what you don't know is that I'm also through God of Doom. I was stripped of my title and forced to this earth cos I was tormenting humans too much. I turned into this demon creature by default. Your parents, who were mages from this other world, sealed me into you as a favor from the gods to stay in this world instead of theirs."

"My parents are from another world ?.." 

"Yeah, your whole family is. The world is called twisted wonderland, it's a very interesting world. They have sorcerers and mages, along with inherent creatures and people. Like mermaids, beastmen and other gods such as I was once myself. They have a very rich history and a very interesting one at that. Much better than this boring world, where people have no magic, no supernatural, nothing at all." 

He picked me up, and suddenly we were in the living room. Where my parents were. They jumped when they saw me and were shocked to see me with Morro.

My dad got up, but Morro pushed him back down.

"So…the reason why your family hates you, is because they used you, to seal me inside of you like I told ya. But the reason they did it was because they made a deal with some gods who wanted me gone."

My mom stood up and started yelling at him to shut up. He glared at her and continued, "if they took care of me, if they got rid of me, then those gods will send your family to this world."

"We did this to have a peaceful life!!"

"At the expenses of your child!"

"Shut up!! You have no right to talk to us that way! She is our daughter. We can do whatever we want to her!!" My dad screamed back at him.

They kept arguing and screaming, I couldn't follow, I wasn't able to. 

Did they really sacrifice me to come here, why do they hate me? They did this to me. Is that why I'm the only one that can see Morro? But they're seeing him now, did he just now show himself to them? I don't know what to do. I don't understand. Why is this happening to me! Why can't I be a normal child! Why is this happening to me of all people!

Before I knew it, my dad was sending fire at Morro, I was choked, this is the first time I ever saw magic. So Morro wasn't lying, they're mages. They can use magic, so everything else he said must have been true. Was I really just used to just being a sacrifice for Morro? Do they really hate me that much to do this to me?

My mom grabbed me by the arm and held it tightly. But I couldn't think, I didn't know what to do. It was starting to feel really hot, and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see either. My breath became short and harsh, tears streaming down my face. I was crying and hiccupping, barely able to breath. 

Mom was yelling at me but I could hear her, everything was blurry, and my ears started ringing. With Morro and mom's voice in the background.

"Kiddo, please calm down, everything is okay, just breath" 

Everything just stopped, I opened my eyes and I saw Morro in a black area. He was kneeling, holding my face. He started to breathe and I followed.

In and out

In and out

Until I could breathe properly

I took a really deep breath and sighed. I looked into his eyes, as he was wiping my face form my tears.

"W-where" sniffing loudly "are we?"

"We're inside your head right now?"

I stayed silent and wiped my face. "Am I like Naruto then? I have something sealed inside me which is why people hate me?"

He chuckled "yeah I guess you are. Is that bad?"

"I don't know" 

"Are you feeling better"

I hugged him 

"I'll see you outside then, and let's getcha ice cream kiddo"

I hated that day so much, but it really showed, who cares about me and who doesn't. 

My parents, after that day, made it clear that I am not wanted. They started to work more and exclude me in events. Morro, however, stayed with me through thick and thin. And I loved him for it. 

I ended up growing alone, Morro being my only friend and family. High school is the hardest for me. I was already short growing up, and I'm still short. I look nerdy and I haven't developed much. 

I was slightly overweight, I had braces and wore glasses. I was the perfect person to bully through high school. But I didn't care. I ignored them as much as I could.

I started to learn magic after I found out about everything. Morro did his best to teach me, but it's not his Forte so it was hard to learn for us both. Until I found a spellbook in my parents room. Morro created an illusion so that it looks like it's still there while I learn the spells. And well, I ended up being really good at it. At least from what Morro tells me.

"Stop narrating about how you think your too weak"

"Come on! How am I supposed to believe that I'm good at this?!"

" you can trust me and believe me when I tell ya"

"Yeah but like… am I really that good at magic? Like it's not like I can compare my magic to someone"

"You don't need to compare yourself, you're an amazing girl. I wouldn't exchange ya for anything in the world"

 "Thank you"

You're probably wondering why the hell, I'm even ranting about every single traumatic shit that happened in my life at the moment. Or how I was basically disowned by my parents. 

Yeah well I'm templating my life choice right now, cos well.

I'm stuck in a coffin

I have no idea how it happened, or how. Or who put me here.

But here I am.

In a coffin, upright and having nothing to do except to contemplate my whole life.

Honestly as fuck up my life is. I like it, I have an amazing best friend, who's awesome. And who taught me everything I knew.

"You also forgot to mention how I gave you my powers?"

 That too. Morro has very powerful magic, as the God of Doom. He can see how people die, along with some teleportation abilities and this guy can make amazing illusions. As in, good enough where they're like shadow clones. You can touch them and they don't disappear. I don't know if you realized it, but I abused the hell out of this. I’m 17 ok?! I’m using this power, it's super powerful, I'm not giving up on it.

A loud click brought me back to reality, light blinding me for a few seconds. The door of the coffin opened up.