Tumgik
#I want to spend but what if spending doesn't make me happy at all?
spidybaby · 3 days
Text
Leaked
Tumblr media
Summary: A few leaked pictures revealed the truth about your relationship.
Warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating, gaslight.
"One pic." You smile at him, eyes begging. "Just one, c'mon."
You try to take the polaroid of him, but his hand brings the camera down.
"Kylian!" You pout. "It's for me. I won't show it." You smile. "I wanted a picture of you with the beautiful sunset." You say, hugging him and bumping his nose with yours.
He shakes his head, smiling at you.
You love him very much, even tho sometimes you feel like being secretive about your relationship was a big burden.
He tries his best to make you feel loved and to let you know that no matter what, you are important to him.
"It's so pretty." You say, admiring it.
"Pretty like you, mon amour." He says, smiling at you.
You blush at his comment. You love compliments, especially if they came from him. Even better.
"Want to go back to the house?" He asks, taking his key out of his pocket. "Want to see my driving abilities?"
"No, sir. I would love to make it to dinner." You laugh. "Can I drive?"
"Maybe later." He smiles.
You two walk closer to his car, he opens it, giving the key to his chauffeur. He opens the door for you.
You grab a bottle of water from the small cooler the car has. You love Madrid, but the weather not so much.
It was hot as hell, even if Kylian says he loves it because he gets to see you in more sexy clothes, you just can't agree.
"I feel sticky." You joke with him. He places his cheek on top of your shoulder. Moving it up and down. "Iugh, Kylian!" You laugh.
"Now I'm sticky too." He laughs with you. "And I smell like paradise." He sniffs the air.
You roll your eyes at him. Placing your hand on his cheek and moving your head to give him a kiss con his forehead.
"Want me to make dinner?" You ask.
He nods, he loves your cooking. It was something he always asked you to perform. "I'll miss you when you are back in Paris." He pouts.
"Me too, baby." You copy his pout. "I can be here for your first Champions League match." You smile at him.
"I'll get you the ticket as soon as we get home."
That's the easy part, you mention something and he get it for you.
Do you like the new Van Cleef bracelet? Okay, it's being delivered to your door in the next few hours.
> But Kylian, it's over 11k euros <
It doesn't matter, that's pocket change for him.
Did you retweet something about a Kelly bag? Done, it's yours.
You loved that. It was amazing how he would spend anything just to see you happy. The best part was that he never expected anything in exchange.
He did it by heart. Even when you tell him that it was too much, that it was just a tweet, it was just a like on a insta post. It was just a comment about his new bracelet.
He didn't care, he would get it for you.
You sometimes wished that he could do that with his time. It was the downside, a weekend, and then back to Paris. A game and back home.
You loved that he got you vip tickets. You loved the first-class airplane tickets. You loved that he would look for you at the stadium.
You didn't love the rumors about him and other girls. Influencers who wore his jersey were making headlines about a possible romance.
He always reassures you. It's all a lie. You trust him. Plus, he was with you.
"Can you pass me the pijama that's on my closet? Please." He asks, seating in bed after eating.
You nod, walking to the closet. You turn the lights on, being greeted by a big white bag with golden letters.
"Seriously?" You ask him, walking with the bag in hands.
He looks at you smiling. "It's nothing." He chuckles.
"This is a lot." You whisper. "You just gave me one when we were in Paris." You remind him.
"But this is a tote. You can take it with you to class, or if you want to go out and take a lot of things." He smiles. You take the box out of the bag, open it, and take the bag out. "Don't you like it?"
You nod. "Thank you." You say walking over to him, kissing him.
Tumblr media
"Do you like the orange one or the white one?" You ask him.
"We are using the white one, but that orange one is gorgeous on you." He takes the white one away from your hands carefully.
He throws the jersey on the bed, taking the orange one. He asked you to lift your hands, dressing you with his jersey.
"You look amazing." He smiles, grabbing your waist and kissing your lips. "My gorgeous queen."
You turn to the mirror, his hands on your waist, his face on the crock of your neck. You smile at his reflection.
"If I score, it would be for you." He says.
You blush at his comments, you love the way your cheeks heat up for him. It was something so normal yet so personal.
"Are we doing something after the game?" You ask, hopeful that he would say yes.
"My family is at home." He says, separating from you. "And I have a recovery sesion very early tomorrow."
"Oh." You mumble. "It's okay, I get that you are busy."
He nods, kissing your cheek. "The driver I hired for you is downstairs, just call him when you are ready to leave. He'll also wait for you to take you back here after the game and then to the airport." He instructed.
"Wait, I'm leaving today?" You ask, confused.
You understand that he would be busy with recovery, having his family who you don't know at home, and even being tired after the game.
But when he booked you the ticket, he asked you to bring clothes for more than just a night. So you did, you have a suitcase with different types of outfits.
"Yes, mom wants me to spend some time with them. Sorry." You just nod, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. "Wish me luck." He smiles.
"You don't need it, Kyks." You smile back. "Go, it's going to be late for you." You say, grabbing his cheeks and kissing his lips quickly.
You see how he leaves the room, leaving an empty feeling behind. It was starting to feel like a pattern.
You brush the thoughts out of your mind. Waiting for the right time to leave. He sent you over the contact of the driver.
You feel weird. It's been a good time since you two became a thing. Sure, he never asked you to formalize anything, but you thought that maybe by now you won the meet the parents prize.
He always talks about them, how he loves spending time with his little brother. He talks about his niece and nephew.
You hear him ramble about them, their little adventures. How much he loves them. And you are happy with that. You love hearing those stories.
You just feel that after a year and a half, you were meeting with them at some point.
You aren't going to ask him. If he wanted, he was going to invite you to meet them. It didn't have to be forced by you.
You retouch your hair and a little bit of your makeup, texting the driver that you were ready to go.
The stadium felt so alive, it was the teams' first champions league game. The vibe was high and the feelings were too.
realmadrid
Estadio Santiago Bernabéu
Tumblr media
Liked by 1,100,384 others
realmadrid 💥 KYLIAN MBAPPE💥 #UCL
The game was good, it was crazy how the second half was so different from the first one. Kylian scoring just seconds after it started was unreal.
You texted him that you were back in the hotel, picking your things to leave to the airport. You thank him for inviting you to the game and asked him to text you when he was free.
> it's like being a ghost <
You remember the words of your friend. She was the only person who knew about him and you.
You shake those things out of your head. He was busy and wanted to spend some time with his family. They lived in Paris and he barely even see them.
You can always come back.
You take a quick shower, taking the sweat away. You need to be fresh and clean for the flight and also because as soon as you land, you want to go home and sleep.
You pack the things you took out, making sure you won't forget anything. He texted you back, wishing you a safe flight and to text thing when you are home.
The driver took you to the airport, kylian texted you the plane ticket right after he left the hotel room.
You call your friend to ask her to pick you up from the airport. You already know what she's going yo say.
"Hey, how's Madrid?" She asks, happy to hear you.
"I'm actually waiting for my flight to Paris." You say, trying to act as if you planned it. "I have to be on an important meeting, and I have to cut short this trip."
"What?" She says. "Your boss doesn't have another employee to bother?"
"He does, but I have the documents, and he felt like having a meeting." You lie. "Kylian was very understanding tho."
"That's sad. Do you need me to pick you up?"
"Can you?" You ask, tired. "If not, I can order an Uber."
"Nono, text me the ticket info so I can pick you up." She says. "See you."
You say your goodbyes to her, hanging up the call and texting her what she asked. You waited a good hour before your flight took you back home.
Tumblr media
"Do you want to try paella?" Kylian asks you.
He kisses your shoulder, he scoops water from the pool into his hands, and wet your head. You laugh, shaking your head.
"Is it good?" You ask, turning to him.
You hug him, bringing him as close as possible to yourself. His warmth combined with the water of the pool and the salty air is making you feel in paradise.
"It's so good." He smiles.
He presses his hands on your cheeks, smiling at how cute you look with your hair all natural, you blushy cheeks that are colored by the sun.
"You will love it." He says, kissing your cheek. "I know an amazing place, I can order it and we can eat it here while drinking something nice.
You frown lightly. "Isn't it more comfortable if we eat there?"
"Don't get me wrong, it is." He sighs. "But I don't want people to ruin our night."
You understood that people know him very well. So, for him, it was easier to order the food, order the things, or ask his chef to make it.
"Okay!" You smile, pecking him. "Order it now so we don't stress or go hungry later." You push him lightly, swimming away while you smirk at him.
You two enjoy the rest of the evening on the private pool you have. It was so fun getting to travel with him to where the games are taking place.
"Do you think you are winning this game?"
"I think we have a chance." He says, passing you the towel as you two exit the bathroom after a shower. "Don't you?"
"Don't get me wrong, but this team is really strong, I'm surprised."
"They are." He laughs. "But they don't have me on their team." He smiles cocky.
You laugh at his cocky self. You find funny and kind of cute that he is, he really believe in himself and trust his instincts.
You change as he orders some drinks from the bar of the hotel. You get your hair ready even if you were just staying in the room with him.
"I order you a piña colada pie." He smiles, hugging your waist. "Love your pajamas." He chuckles.
"I know, they match yours." You laugh, hip bumping his. "They have cute fish on it."
"The food would be here in a few, I think it would be a competition between the food and our drinks."
"Do you want me to pick it up from the lobby?" You ask, applying your cream.
"I'll ask my bodyguard. Don't worry, amour." He says, texting his bodyguard. "That cream smells amazing." He sniffs you from afar.
yourusername has added to their story
Tumblr media
"I'm tired." You yawn.
You rest your head on his chest, the sound of his heart is calming you even more.
"Sleep, mon amour." He whispers, hands caressing your back and your arm. "We can sleep until late tomorrow."
"That sounds amazing." You whisper back, eyes shutting off.
You feel his heart and his hands on your body. Relaxing you enough to fall asleep.
The only thing that takes you out of your relaxed state is the vibration of your phone. You open your eyes, searching for your phone.
You kick it with your hand, making it fall from the bed. You groan, letting the phone vibrate while you throw the blanket over your head.
"Ky, can you turn the ac off?" You ask, morning voice very evident. "Ky?"
You take the blanket off of you, turning your head to his side, he wasn't there.
"Ky, are you in the bathroom?" You ask, a little louder.
You shrug, not giving it mind. He sometimes has an early meeting before a match. It was a common thing.
You were about to fall back to sleep when your phone started vibrating again. You groan, stretching to pick it up from the floor, it was your friend.
"Good morning sunshine." You joke with her.
"Check my message." She says, stern tone.
You frown, putting her on speaker and opening your messages. "Are you okay?" You say while searching her message.
"I am, I just want to make sure you will be." She says as her tone stays the same.
"What?" You noticed she was texting you very early. Without success to get an answer from you. "What is this?"
You click on the link she sent you, the wifi from the hotel making it very hard.
"Girl, it's not loading." You say.
"Then try again, fuck!." She nervously say.
After a few tries, the page finally opened. You feel your heart sink.
Tumblr media
Leaked pictures?
Leaked video?
Who was this girl who people now say is his girlfriend?
"Y/n?" Your friend calls you. "Are you still there?"
You don't answer, scrolling down to search the pictures. The page doesn't really show them.
"I'll call you back." You say, voice cracking. "Just give me a minute." You hang up the call.
You open X to search for the info you want. His name is a trending topic on X. Different variations of it. The name of the girl is also trending.
Tumblr media
You press with shaky fingers on his last name.
The first thing you see is a collage of the "leaked" material. A compilation of very risky and sexy Polaroids.
The video, but not one, two.
Even when she has dark hair on the pictures and videos, she is the girl from the article. It was obvious.
One is this girl filming herself adjusting her clothes, she smiles at the camera and shows her middle finger, she then rotates the camera showing kylian sitting on a chair he has on his room in Madrid.
You know that chair, you helped him pick it up when he moved.
The other video is him filming, the girl now has a red lingerie set, you can't really see her face but you know the hands are his.
He was putting her in handcuffs, her hands on her back as he maneuvered to click the cuffs with only one hand.
What's sticking in the video is the gold bracelet you know he has. That because you were the one who give it to him.
She has pictures with his family, with his nephew and niece, and with Ethan. She has a picture with his mom and dad.
You can't help but cry, feeling sick. You let the phone fall back onto the floor. You sob the hurt your heart is feeling.
You don't know how much time you spend in the same position, crying. You heard the door opening. Making you shiver.
He closes the door slowly. Maybe he thinks you are still sleeping. He walks slowly to the doors that reveal the bed area.
He finds your eyes looking at him. The tears in your eyes, your wet cheeks. You take your sight away.
There's no point in lying.
You want to ask him, want to confront him, but you don't even know what to say, what to ask.
He sits back on the bed, he's silent.
The room would be dead silent if it weren't for your sobs. You have your head in your hands as you cry.
You get up, walking towards the bathroom. You slam the door. You keep crying there. You don't want to be in the same room as him.
You wash your face and brush your teeth. You try to get it together, even when you look like shit. Even with puffy eyes and a red face from crying.
You open the door, walking towards your things. You start packing your things. He's just looking at you.
"How long?" You turn to see him. "How long were you pretending to have me like this?" You ask him.
He doesn't answer. He only hang his head low.
"We were together for a year and eight months, Kylian." You sob. You try to calm yourself, taking a deep breath. "And I know, you never asked me to be anything, but I thought that after all the time we were together, you somehow cared about me."
"I do." He finally answer. "I care about you."
You shake your head, not believing his audacity. "You call this." You point at him and then back at you several times. "Caring?"
He shrugs. "She doesn't mean what you mean to me."
You laugh. He shivers at how your laugh sounds so different from your usual one.
"You can tell yourself that I mean a lot, but you introduce her to your family, you take her to your family trip, she knows the kids of your brother." You start to point all the things he did with her. "I don't even know your friend Tchaga." You whisper.
You feel humiliated, how you really thought that you matter for him. How you told yourself time after time that he didn't introduced you to his family because he wasn't ready.
"I feel so stupid." You whisper, trying not to cry. "I thought you loved me." You sob. "Cause I do, I love you."
He gets up from bed, walking over to you, but you shake your head no, taking a few steps back.
"I love you." He says. "I really do."
"I don't believe you, Kylian." You shake your head. You can't even look at him for longer than ten seconds.
"I hide our relationship because it was nobody's business." He explains.
His excuses felt like knives on the heart.
"Does she have any humor?" You ask, making him frown from how random was your question. "Does she laugh at your jokes? Can she look past the rumors? Does she know how it goes?" You keep asking him.
He doesn't even have time to process the questions you asked before you start questioning him again.
'Did you ever feel bad while you were doing what you did?" You question him. "Did you ever think of me while you were with her? Did you ever cared that I was in Paris, waiting for you?" Your eyes fill with tears. You try to blink them away. "I am in love with you."
"I'm in love with you too." He whines. "You need to believe me."
He tries to get closer once again. You walk away from him. Grabbing a change of clothes as your lock yourself inside the bathroom.
You quickly change off of your pajamas, not wanting to spend any more time with him. You were going to accept that he did what he did and that you can't change the fact that he lied to you.
When you exit the bathroom, he stands up from the bed. "We can fix this, please." He begs. "Don't do this to me."
You scuff. You push him away from you as you grab your shoes and put them on. You throw the pajama inside your luggage.
"If I ask you something, can you at least be honest?"
He nods, the glossy shine from his eyes almost making him look innocent.
"Was she worth losing me?"
205 notes · View notes
andcars · 2 days
Text
Tumblr media
# 𝗙𝗖𝟰𝟯 ─── MAKE IT UP OFF-TRACK MASTERLIST . . . REQUEST ME . . . TAGLIST . . . AO3
YOU'VE RACED WITH HIM AND you've been under him. still, it hurts you when he outqualifies you. it almost hurts as much when you both still think you're just fuck buddies. ────── original prompt req.
Tumblr media
PROMPTED DIALOGUE . . . # “You’ve been staring for a while” PROMPTED TAGS . . . # praise kink, rivalry, friends with benefits, jealousy ADD. TAGS . . . # quickie vibes, sex in the hospitality, author has a language kink, but also deepl translations WORD COUNT. . . # 1.6k
────── AO3 VERSION
Tumblr media
P11. Fucking P11.
Everyone else is in the garage as you come in, all angry and disappointed. You were tenth of a second behind P10 and you weren't able to push it on the last lap because you went off track limits.
What’s done is done. You can’t work with a car that clearly doesn't wanna work with you. The better part of you wants to let this go and simply rest for tomorrow. Call it a day. Think of how to dominate tomorrow. Sleep it off.
But Franco walks to the garage at P7 and proceeding into Q3. The plan gets thrown away immediately.
You don’t hate the guy, of course not. You’ve met him times before when he was still in F2. If, of course, meeting him included hotel rooms and secluded bathrooms. You met him a lot, if so.
It’s not his fault that he’s better than you, as of now. You should be happy, really. But fuck, it should hurt how some rookie is better than you in a car you’ve driven for a year.
Despite all of this anger bubbling in you, you can’t stay mad at him. You could never stay mad at him, you think. Yet it hurts all the same.
You look away as your eyes meet. Not giving him a chance to even confront you or attempt to comfort you, you leave.
It’s pivotal now to talk with your strategist. He’s expecting you, unfortunately. Knowing damn well that your next duty was to come to him to see how to improve your performance, he already had your data pulled up.
Your, and their, wrongs are being talked into your ear and out the other. The farthest screen turns black, and you see Franco in the reflection. His blurred figure is towards you, his panting from the race still evident on him.
It’s difficult to pretend to care about racing right now. It’s not like they say anything different anyway. The rear wings are fucked, the tyres are fucked, the wheel can’t turn, and your head is just in the wrong direction. All the same things said before.
To the driver’s room you go. Q3 starts and you don’t do anything. The TV screen shows the delayed race as the crowd cheers from the opposite sides of the wall. Franco is in danger, with Mercedes finally coming out from the pit—you don’t expect anything more.
After the stretched minutes alone in your room, a knock comes on your door.
You say, “I’ll be out soon, tell James to get some patience,” with your head in your phone. No fucking way you’re going to be dealing with them while you’re still pissed.
The door opened and you grunt. Looking up, Franco was grinning at you.
“I’m also hiding from Jego,” he says, the grin on his face annoying, “can I come in?”
“And we both get caught?” It doesn’t matter what you think, he puts his feet in anyway.
The couch is uncomfortable. If they aren’t spending money on the car, they might as well spend it on the seats. With you laying across the couch, he kneels between your legs. You raise an eyebrow at him as he undresses his fireproof suit.
You ask, “You seriously wanna fuck?” and he laughs.
“¿Me dirás que no? (Will you tell me no?)” he murmurs, getting on top of you with his hips pressing against your ass. “Did you know I placed 6th today?”
“Mhm.”
“No?” He places a kiss on your cheek. “Didn’t watch me? What were you doing in here?”
His lips ghost over your neck, the warmth of his breath sending a small shiver down your fine. You know he felt it when he chuckles in your skin.
“Getting fucked my brains out,” your voice is flat. “What were you doing out there?”
“Ah, amor (love), you won’t get me like that,” he whines and kisses you once in one side. Then twice the other. He says, “You are so mean though, telling me things like this. Do you wish you were with someone else? Hm? ¿No me querés más? (You don’t want me any more?)”
Franco comes up to part your lips open with his tongue. You gasp a little, your arm limp over his back. His mouth wide open, chest pressed against yours, tongue just brushing against your lips, he says—
“Quiero coger. Te quiero comer a besos. Quiero que me hagas tuyo, mi amor. Don’t go making me jealous because you are.” (I want to fuck you. I want to lavish you with kisses. I want you to make me yours, my love)
His hand is gentle on yours, playing on the hem of your pants as his kisses turn wet. Desperate. Loving. It hurts you how careful he is with you when you spent the past hour hating him in your head.
And he’s always so gentle. He always used to ask you if you liked it, his words almost always in Spanish. As if he’s lost in you, he doesn’t know what words to use.
He no longer needs your permission now. A finger rubs between your clothed cunt as his hand pushes your shirt up to hold your tits. He moans more than you, in love with your body.
“So good,” he murmurs, “don’t ever look for anyone else. For me, please?” You moan against his cheek as he focuses on rubbing your clit through your pants. “I can make you feel so good. Amor, I can be yours.”
In moments like this, he’s too drunk on sex to know the words he’s spewing. He reaches for the lube and condom hidden in your desk. His movements are sloppy. You swear he struggles a little in opening the cap up.
He asks you something in Spanish. It’s out of your vocabulary, so you tilt your head.
“I don’t need to prepare you, right? You’re still loose?” You can see his hips grinding against the palm of his hand. His cheeks are flushed, and you see drool coming down his chin. It’s pitiful.
You nod. “Yeah, just give me a bit to adjust if you wanna—fucking hell.” It’s out of your control when you laugh. Franco eagerly shoves his pants down alongside yours.
“What has gotten you so eager?” you ask.
“I got P6,” he smirks. That little fucker.
His cock is rubbered and wet when it enters you. He moans loud as your hand comes to his cheek. It’s catlike, the way he goes soft against your hold.
Shifting slowly, he grinds inside of you. The soft rubbing inside your walls almost has you mewling. But you keep your eyes on him, ignoring the pooling pleasure between your legs.
Telling him, “You’ve been looking at me,” has his lips pouting. “If I didn’t know better, I would say you were in love with me.”
“I am in love with you,” your cheeks flush, and you’re not sure if it’s the sudden thrust of his cock or his words. “I’m in love with the way you race, how you over-perform a dying car, how you move.”
His eyes drop to where you two meet, jittering his hips a little. With the quick thrusts, you’re caught off guard and moaning out his name. He looks very satisfied with it.
“Oh, amor—” his words turn gibberish to you as he starts to move. His pace is uneven, driven by the thought to take you carefully and the urge to bring the both of you to climax. Not a single word is getting into your head.
But his voice is so loving. He’s panting between every other word, lips pouted and eyebrows furrowed. His voice is getting louder, and you put your hand against his mouth.
“Shut - oh, God… Shut up,” you whine, feeling the cockhead rub against your g-spot. “You’re so fucking… good. Just like that, fuck me.”
He shuts up when he goes down to kiss you. Both his arms wrap around you, embracing you as he finds the right angle to make sure you’re still getting stimulated. His hair is rubbing against your clit, the little tickle in them getting you to moan a little louder.
You feel dizzy. It’s not the lack of air during the kiss, you know it. He’s just holding you close to him while he takes you like you’re his lover. Your heart curls in itself, punishing itself for its own stupidity.
But fuck, you want to focus on the now. The way his hands are going up and down your back, soothing you as you get lost in the pace of his thrusts. The way his body towers over you, completely enveloping you in his hold. 
“I’m gonna—” he gasps, his pace barely slowing as you assume he cums inside of you. You whine when he bottoms inside.
Franco knows you. He knows you too well. He grinds inside of you before pulling out. Still, he doesn’t let you think another thought before he’s flicking your clit.
“Shit, fuck, Franco!” he smiles under your silent praise as his other fingers tease at your hole. “I’m gonna cum too. Just like that. Don’t fucking stop.”
He only leans down to spit on your pussy, easing the rub as you’re moving your hips along him. You cum with your back arched and your hips off the couch. His hand stills on your clit as his eyes are fixated on the way cum leaves your pussy.
You drop back down when he places your hips on his lap. “Don’t get it dirty,” he reminds you, tying the condom and throwing it in the bin. “It’s embarrassing to explain to the cleaners.”
His humour comes in at the worst moments. You grunt and he only laughs. “It’s not even funny. You’re just telling the truth.”
“It’s funnier in Spanish,” he promises.
You think about how it probably sounds just about the same.
Tumblr media
🗒 𝗣𝗔𝗣𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗟 . . . first time writing for bro ! i'm so open to writing more of him so i added him in my taglist options, so if you wanna be tagged for future fics of him 👀 you know what to do . if you already sent me a form before , you can resend another with him included ! anyways , fixing up the next few fics soon . ˎˊ˗ ᝰ. ──── 📨 @delululeclerc @hiireadstuff
Tumblr media
you support me best on tumblr with reblogs and comments ! ── by andcars ⟡
205 notes · View notes
reshinless · 1 day
Note
Been seeing alot of spiderman Kinich content on the clock app and this gave me an idea
Reader gets gwen stacy'd and kinich fails to save them lol then he wakes up and then they bang
──── through the phone mask
Tumblr media Tumblr media
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ synopsis. before he goes, how about a peck, yeah through his mask!
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ pairings. spiderman!kinich x gn!afab!reader (this will end up in smut, so !!NSFW CONTENT AHEAD!!) angst + comfort (in a way?? death mention but no actual death happens! just a bad dream)
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ director's notice. oooo i could not stop thinking about this during class!!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"mwa!" you cheer- briefly backing away as you admire you boyfriend, kinich, that puts his mask on. you pray that this spiderman stuff didn't pressure him at all.
"mmm... one more?" as he turned around to face you again. you chuckled as you tilted your head, stepping closer to the window sill he crouched on. "one more? i think you've had enough for today." a teasing tone present in you sonorously.
he gave you a pleading look in hopes to earn accolade (in which this case is a kiss. or two. or three.) you could giggle, feeling the way he still tried to kiss you through the mask he wore, concealing his identity to all, except you of course.
"mmmwa!" you brush your lips against the fabric that kept all of this a secret. you were so pretty when you smiled. he likes that little dimple that appears on your cheek when you grinned- or maybe the mole on your neck right there. mmmaybe he should count them soon.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
but when there's a moment where kinich saves everyone but you, he'd never forgive himself. when there's a moment where kinich can catch everyone when they're falling but you. when there are gonna be moments that only star him, and missing you. like how a seed would long for a soil bed, or how the moonlight doesn't shine without its sun.
he was terrified of losing someone as precious as you were. for as long as you both lived, he wanted to spend as much time with you. his love language was all about spending time with you, and doing things for you, he knew you could handle yourself, but he loves knowing you rely on him for a few things (even if they're simple). so losing you would be losing a huge part of himself.
in all the years you both got to spend together, you spent it along side your best wingwoman; mualani. growing up by both of your sides, he never felt alone, or unneeded. he felt everything was finally coming together.
so when he saw the scene before him- it was you. being stabbed in the stomach by a spike below the now-broken bridge. even in death you were so pretty. your head was laid down on his lap, barely opening your eyes, just enough to let a few tears trickle down the softness of your cheeks.
"i'm.. sorry i couldn't do enough for you." were the words you whispered, holding his cheek before finally passing on to the next world.
no he couldn't handle the scene at all. and only now is when he realizes- he should spend more time. he'll make sure you won't feel like that when he meets you again. he knows he'll recognize you. he'd know you from anywhere, anytime, any appearance, anywho.
kinich wakes up in tears, clear tear stains on the place he rest his face into. your pjs have small marks, drops of tears where they'd landed off his face. your eyes flutter open a few seconds later, realizing he's no longer in your arms.
"kin? wh.. what's wrong? why are you crying?" you immediately got up to wipe the small sobs off his cheeks. "..you're still here.. thank god, you're still here." he suddenly hugs you, fitting his head into your nape. his hold was tight, and affectionate. enough to know that he's happy that you're still present.
"yeah, i'd never leave. was.. was it a dream?" you asked, massaging his scalp to soothe his stress. he could only hum in response, he felt a little pathetic to admit that he was, but it was the first step to accepting it.
"do.. you ever feel like i'm mistreating you?" his head popped up from the spot it was previously. "what? no you're not. in fact, i feel like i'm not doing enough for you, baby." you chuckle, shifting your head to front him a little better.
"you've done more than you think for me." his hand held a soft grasp on your palm, you could feel a few scars on his hand. "really? i find it hard to believe." you let out a giggle, certainly a superhero who does things to make sure the city is a safe place for all, feels like you do more? that was in your point of view anyway.
"may.. i show you how much i can repay you then? i want to show you.. i want you to feel how thankful i am that you're here."
whatever it was in that dream of his definitely helped yours come true. "mmm, someone's ahhn- enjoying, ngh themselves.." he grunted out, hitting you from behind so good, you can't do anything but sit there and take it.
you could feel every little ridge on his dick, the sweat emitting from your body, combined with the drops spouting from the pores of his palms. damn you couldn't even hold your own moans back in courtesy for the people in the next dorm. "mmmffffuckkk.. s'good kin.." you whined, you shut your eyes in ectasy
he throws his head back, groaning at the sight of your plush ass barely swallowing his shaft each time. every shlick only made you even wetter. you could feel his length twitching inside you, each time he hit your very core.
your folds felt so insanely good, wrapping around the base of his dick so well, even inside you it felt so warm. the way you were basically getting stretched out, it reached even further into you, in his observation seeing how your eyebrows knitted- he assumed you liked it like that, kissing your insides!
he slowed the pace of his sloppy thrusts briefly to reach over for the phone on the nightstand. "you mind if we take a photo, pretty? love the way you look right now, 'd hate to miss such a face."
he'd be too busy admiring your face to realize how long he'd been grinding against your precious spot. he knew exactly how to make you use the expressions he wanted.
kissing your neck hungrily, making sure you face the camera as it recorded, letting it see all of you.
watching how your body reacted to his so well, he couldn't help but coo into your ear about how good you were doing.
"such a pretty kitty, mmm? and they're all mine aren't they? he continued, on the edge of the bed- making sure you see yourself in the mirror in front of you.
"this is what i admire everyday. hnnn.. s'tight, fffuck.." he groaned into you, letting you sit on his dick, riding it while watching his reaction through the mirror.
you couldn't help but piston your hips repeatedly, you were already so wet, might as well put it to use!
he held your hand throughout everything, squeezing it every now and then to indirectly ask if you're doing okay. kissing down from your nape to your shoulder blades, you were perfect from the ground till your ears.
for what seemed like the umpteenth time, he cums inside you. warm seed shoots up into your body, creaming on his cock at the same time.
kinich who holds you by the waist, feeling his cock slowly soften inside you. still trying to catch his breath- but still makes an effort to kiss your cheek.
still makes an effort to carry your trembling body to the bathroom. still makes an effort to clean you up. still makes an effort to eat you out slowly afterwards.
he who already misses you while you were still in the room. he couldn't help but cuddle with you for a bit before going out again. it was sunday already anyway, and he spent the moments where the sun rose elsewhere (eating you out/giving bj)
kinich who loved the idea of making out with you right after, still having to go out since you both spent the whole night.. intimately. half of his mask is still on but all you do is lift it up a little, enough for his lips to be visible enough for you to peck.
he makes sure you're sound asleep before he goes, he'll be back before you know it anyway.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
374 notes · View notes
slaaverin · 3 days
Text
Are you sure? Initial thoughts
Ah I've been rereading a post I made before AYS aired about my excitement and hope for the show.
How joyful yet filled with dread I was about what would be on display, what would be uncovered, and people's reaction.
In retrospect, I think AYS gave us everything we hoped for and more.
We saw jikook relaxed and comfortable, enjoying their time together, doing mundane stuff, with quiet and simple moments, or doing fun activities where they felt free and joyful and in the present moment.
My takeway of this show and jikook's relationship is their sense of belonging.
I hoped for a closer look into their dynamic and we really got that.
The way their relationship works is that no matter what they are doing (or not doing), you can see how much pleasure they are taking for simply being in each other's presence. There is a flow and an ease between them that never gets disrupted by anything. They simply adapt to their circumstances and keep being authentic and enjoy the time together.
They showed several times how important these trips were for them.
But in truth it showed it was not (only) about the trips.
What is really obvious is how much they value their relationship, how much care they put in it.
This is not about the trips, this is not about making a show.
This is allowing time to tend and to nurture this relationship they deeply love.
That's what most important.
It matters to them, so much.
Even with Jungkook (we can see it in I am still) crazy schedule. Maybe because of his schedule.
It was needed, it was even indispensable.
Now we have all the information, I cannot see them not making those trips before military. They craved it so much, and they loved it so much, it was for their own mental health and well-being, to keep their internal balance.
When your world turns upside down, when you are faced with the Unknown, your first instinct is to reassure yourself, is to go home, and make yourself a cup of warm tea, and do the things that makes you feel calm and relaxed. As humans we tend to do this, to take cover, to retreat, in the safest place we know, to ease our hearts and to make us think everything will be ok.
That's what Jimin & Jungkook did.
They went home to each other. They took cover into the ease and softness of their relationship, because that's known. Because that's safe. It's where they feel they belong and they can rest.
I understand why.
Such relationship is an oddity in the real world, it's once every blue moon, it doesn't come easily, sometimes people spend their whole life searching for it.
We can see also how much the dynamic is different with other members. Nothing compares to them.
I think jikook are aware of this (because they are smart people) so when you find something so precious, you want to care for it and keep it close to your heart.
It shows in how much tenderness they have for e/o.
Jungkook plays the "baby alpha" yet with Jimin he transforms into the most caring and protective.
Jimin is a selfless guy in general but we see how he truly deeply enjoys seeing Jungkook happy. "All for your happiness".
Damn it makes me tear up just to think about it.
They are SO LOUD. My god.
It is so goddamn beautiful to witness.
At this point I am simply happy for them.
Happy they have each other. Happy they got to show who they are together with no repercussions (because thank god people are still stupid! Blessed be the ignorant)
This show was a rollercoaster of emotions, but now we know, now we see, now we say "Ah yes, that's it. This is what this is about"
Forever grateful to them for trusting us like this with a huge part of themselves.
They really do love us a lot.
(I'm writing this as I should be editing the show, so this post is pure procrastination, let me to back to work 😂)
Thank you for reading 💜
Tumblr media
97 notes · View notes
Harley Quinn, former bad guy, anti-hero and unemployed therapist chases after Nightwing (Dick Grayson) as he tries to get away from her while on patrol.
Nightwing: Stop chasing me!
Harley: Then have a chat with me!
Nightwing: How did you find me!
Harley: Babs told me.
Nightwing stops running causing Harley to halt her running as well. He puts his index finger up and presses his communication device.
Nightwing: Babs, what the heck?
Oracle: She begged me and I can't say no when she pinpoints my mental health issues! Just let her spend some time with you.
Nightwing looks down at Harley who has a big smile on her face. He runs the other direction as Poison Ivy walks over to the group while watching 'Little Shop of Horrors' on her phone.
Ivy: He caved yet?
Harley: Not now, babes. Follow me.
Harley chasses after Nightwing. Her girlfriend casually walked behind her.
Harley: Stop running! Why are you running?!
Nightwing: Because I don't want you touching me! I am not a piece of meat!
Harley: I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you were uncomfortable with the butt smacks!
Nightwing: I was very vocal about it!
Harley: Do you think that stems with some trauma in your past?
Nightwing: Stop therapizing me!
Ivy (pausing her movie): This is the smartest approach, Harley.
Harley: Ivy, not now!
Nightwing runs around Ivy and uses her as shield, then shoves her on Harley.
Nightwing: You chasing me doesn't prove your point.
Harley (pushing Ivy off of her): Let me make amends.
Nightwing(whining): NOOOO!
Harley: I made a full bill of health at Arkham. And I may not have the diploma, but I can be your-
Nightwing (in angry romani): Me sem bahtalo tumare progresosa, numaj te aven dur mandar!
Harley: What?
Nightwing stops at a fence and turns to Harley.
Nightwing: I said, "I am happy with your progress, but stay away from me for now!" It... It will take some time. Okay?
Nightwing jumps a fence and keeps running.
Nightwing (over his shoulder): Bye!
Ivy: See ya, kid.
Harley: But... Shit!
Harley tries to climb the fence, but Ivy, best friend and girlfriend uses a vine on her hip before she jumps the fence.
Ivy: Harley, don’t do that impulsive thought.
Harley: But they need a therapist. All of them, Jacey ran from me, now Nightwing? Why can’t I catch a break?
Ivy: If I may, it has something to do with working with the joker, who killed one of them, tortures the batfamily on an annual basis... oh and you won’t take a hint to give them space.
Harley glares at her girlfriend.
Harley: It was a rhetorical question!
Ivy (chuckling dryly): Aww, Harls, you know I don’t care about that. He did say it takes time, he's saying you have a chance, but at this moment of time, no. Remember I’m not dumb either. I worked more in science for botany over what you do, but I can see when someone doesn’t want to talk or want your therapy services.
Harley groans, bending back: You’re right, I’ll give 'em space. Plus you didn't say I slept with my professor.
Ivy: Please, you wouldn't degrade yourself like that... Get with a homicidal lunatic who thinks clown makeup is scary, but you are not the type who tries to get easy A’s in school.
Harley: Damn straight!
30 notes · View notes
orphiclovers · 13 hours
Note
Hear me out about yjh and blondes: 999 yjh x Uriel
YES I'm so into this pairing you have no idea. and lol about the blonde thing. yjh has a type.
I've talked about them some under the tag #999yjhuri (ship name pending...) so check that out but yeah I love them they're canon to me! I don't even know where to start talking about them because I have so much to say
The thing is that Uriel loved her captain so much. 999 is the only turn we know of where she was one of Yoo Joonghyuk's companions and it's sooo significant to that round specifically because she is an ANGEL and a constellation of the Absolute Good system!
Uriel saw this one man who sacrificed everything for his companions and decided she wanted to fight by his side. He was the 'good' she saw in the world. And then she had to stand by helplessly and watch as his soul and body withered from the outer world covenant. and see up close as with the same noble sacrifice she fell in love with he destroyed himself.
But they thought they could make it to the end of the scenarios at least, they were so close, but then at the very last moment he DIED IN HER ARMS!!! And she lost her mind with grief and swore eternal vengeance upon the one who took him away.
The good in her soul died with him! She who was the righteous 'absolute good' angel of Eden for thousands of years was so broken by his death she chose to become evil, to become the very thing she swore to destroy
And of course this neatly ties into spuri, the one who was the object of her single minded obsession for thousands of years. Even to the point when it made no sense, when she learned who he was, it didn't matter because the bloody path of vengeance was all she had and all that kept her alive.
And then there's the huge complicated mess of what SP thinks about 999 Uriel. His careful neutrality when she attempts to kill him and burns down his forest with all the inhabitants. The was he doesn't react because he thinks he is reaping what he sowed. He says to Kim Dokja that this is the consequences of his mistake - sees her as a divine punishment for his sins in the 999th regression rather than as a person who wants to kill him
And at the same time in his mind there exists 999, who, quote off the top of my head, 'sighs in lamentation at the sun' when she attacks N'gai. 999 is COMPLICATED and I won't get into his insane psychology in this post but in short, he feels pity for her and all the rest of his companions who turned into outer gods (and also SP...) but makes the frankly correct decision to not come back to them even though he technically COULD, because it would cheapen everything they went through. There is no way to turn back time and save your fallen companion, even when there is. He KNOWS they live in his memory and that's why he can never return (kim dokja anyone...). He does his best to stay dead, even in his afterlife.
And, stay with me here, there's the love triangle of it all.
Both Uri and SP wanted to save 999 but neither of them could. And she despises SP for killing the love of her life but they both wanted the same thing, for 999 to be happy!
I think about SPuri in the post epilogue OD household. Even though Uriel accepted that 999 wouldn't come back and gave up her futile revenge quest against SP, there's still lingering awkwardness and tension there. After hating him for so long it's difficult to act normal around him. I imagine she treats him with civil distance.
And then, when SP does something small that reminds her of 999, she has to look away to remind herself that 999 didn't want to come back and to respect his decision, berating herself for mistaking SP for the man she loves, which is disrespectful to them both.
Even though SP didn't often think of 999 and himself as the same person, I think spending all his time around the 999th turns companions + having 999s memories in his head would inevitably bring out old habits and that side of him more. To all around bittersweet feelings from the outer gods, not just Uriel
27 notes · View notes
mandoriana · 1 day
Text
Alternate universe where Merlin slept with Arthur while they were both drunk and now needs to hide her magical pregnancy.
That was an idea that came to me one night after watching Merlin. The thought of them having children stuck in my head, but Merlin could never be happy, so I thought how interesting it would be if Merlin spent the first three months of gestation not knowing what was going on, like, he doesn't really know why he's having odd nausea or desires, he also starts stealing Arthur's clothes to make a kind of "Nest" on his own bed. Only when Arthur realizes how hungry and very emotional Merlin seems to be does Arthur take Merlin to Gaius and Gaius find out about the pregnancy. (I imagine the excuse Gaius would give Arthur is that Merlin has a parasite, maybe more than one or two.)
Desperate and weeping Merlin runs to Arthur in a desperate need to have his king around, but Gaius must stop him before Merlin does so and remind him that Arthur can't know the magic, at least not as long as Uther is still alive. Merlin cries a lot and Gaius calls for Lancelot, Gwaine listens to Gaius' concern and runs to see Merlin.
When Lancelot and Gwaine meet Merlin and discover about Gwaine's gestation (and magic) Lancelot worries about Merlin and starts thinking about a plan, while Gwaine plans to castrate Arthur, after all how that princess dares to get her best friend pregnant!
In the end they decide that Merlin will have to leave when she reaches 4 months and goes into hiding for the rest of the pregnancy, but this only serves to make Merlin suffer even more because, despite being the most sensible plan, Merlin is not thinking about reason but about her emotions outlined by pregnancy, he does not want to go away and hide, he wants to lie in the arms of his king and spend nights planning the birth of his babies!
From that moment on, Gwaine and Lancelot become the knights of Merlin. Did Arthur order everyone to prepare for a mission? Sorry, but Merlin needs our company more. Did Arthur convene a meeting? Sorry, but Merlin...
Arthur goes mad with anger when the knights ignore him, but mainly because he wants to know about Merlin's state and no one wants to tell him how his servant is! Arthur is going mad with worry and everyone can see that, but Gaius has given the order not to let Arthur approach until Merlin can leave Camelot, is unfair and destroys Merlin and Arthur being kept apart, but it is necessary.
When the fourth month arrives Lancelot arranges the horses for Merlin and Gwaine and promises to cover up the two as they leave, he planned to go along with them, but Merlin needed the assurance that his beloved prince would be safe while he was away and Lancelot was the only one he would trust to take care of Arthur.
Gwaine and Merlin flee in the middle of the night and travel as far away as possible in search of a safe place.
Merlim - Gwaine, do you think Arthur will be mad that I stole one of his knights? - Ask with one hand about his prominent belly. Gaine laughs.
Gwaine - Nah, the princess would probably wish I were with you... - Gwaine sighs rubbing her neck - or, well, he'd like him to know about you...
Merlin fungates and then starts crying and Gwaine becomes worried, he thought that after a month of going through these outbursts of feelings Gwaine would be prepared to deal with it, but he'll never be ready to deal with Merlin crying.
Gwaine - Hey, Merls, what happened, why are you crying now?
Merlin - I miss him so much! I wish he was with me now!
Gwaine - Aw Merls, you know he can't know...
Merlin - I KNOW! BUT WHEN HE KNOW HE WILL BE SO Bored TO MY!! - Merlin cries so much that she starts sobbing and needs to get off her horse before it falls to the ground, Gwaine decides they need a break and sets up camp while feeling increasingly distressed to hear her best friend cry and ask for Arthur.
When the camp is ready and the fire hits Merlin finally stops crying and just low sobs.
Merlin - Gwaine?
Gwaine - Hey, Merls, what was it, does it feel better?
Merlin - No, but... do you think Arthur would be mad if I stole another knight from him?
Gwaine arched her eyebrow.
Gwaine - Why do you need another knight? I'm the best you have!
Merlin laughed.
Merlin - But I don't have a Lancelot! Gaine, I want a Lancelot!
Gwaine - Oh I also want a Lancelot, but Gwen has already caught it then...
And the two can laugh together at least a little. I imagine that after all this the Druids find the camp and take them to hide with them, there they take care of Merlin and give all the necessary support until the day of the birth of the babies, yes, babies, in the plural.
The first one born is called Godric, he has brown hair like his grandmother's hair, Hunith, and blue eyes like Arthur's. The second is called Rowena, she has large ears, black hair and blue eyes. The third is Helga, with dark blond hair and greenish blue eyes. The last to be born is called Salazar, but Merlin calls him only Sal, his cocoon was born small and pale, with black hair and green eyes, he looks like Merlin, but much smaller and sick, unfortunately Sal came weaker than his other children, but the Druids were able to keep him alive.
Merlin is delighted to meet her children, but refuses to hold on to any of them, Gwaine tries to convince Merlin to hold them, but Merlin is afraid to cling, now that hormones are no longer controlling her mind Merlin sees reason and knows she could never be a father, he had a purpose, protect Arthur and bring peace to Albion, with Morgana on the loose Arthur needed him more than she ever needed before, where Merlin would make time to be a father!? With these thoughts in mind Merlin asks the druids to raise their children for him, the druids accept it without thinking, after all it was an honor to raise Emrys's children, but Gwaine refuses, tries to tell her friend how ridiculous this was and how much he should stay and raise the children!
Merlin continues to refuse to abandon her duty to Arthur and the kingdom and prepares to return to Camelot the next morning. Gwaine refuses to return and stays with the babies at the Druid camp.
(I thought about writing more of this idea and saying that it all turned out well in the end, that Gwaine convinced Merlin to talk to Arthur and they raised their children together, brought Morgana back and freed Albion and lived happily ever after! But I wouldn't know how to write a happy ending, so to summarize later events: Merlin returns to Camelot and meets Arthur already crowned king, Uther has died, and Arthur is upset with Merlin for abandoning him, takes time to regain confidence, but Merlin convinces Arthur that his departure was necessary. Everything happens as in the canon after Uther's death, with the difference that Gwaine is not around and does not die. Merlin visits at times, but his own children recognize him only as "Uncle Merlin." As we know Merlin doesn't tell Arthur the truth until it's too late and Arthur dies unaware that he had children with the love of his life. Godric, Rowena, Helga and Salazar grow strong and found a magic school called Hogwarts, the end we already know.)
That idea was basically just me wanting to give Merthur children, show the extent of Merlin's friendship, Gwaine and Lancelot, and then make everyone suffer with Arthur for never being able to have a happy ending to that story.
21 notes · View notes
tanicus-caesareth · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
guarana drama, damage control
13 notes · View notes
Note
With your WOY roleswap AU, how did Sylvia and Dominator meet?
thank you for the ask!!! this is something that i've been trying to think about a Lot.
i do definitely want to keep the general idea the same as the original show—i.e., meeting while sylvia's a bounty hunter. i wouldn't put it past dee to have annoyed at least one villain in the past, so i think her also being the bounty would work. but of course, it can't be exactly the same, considering dee isn't quite small enough to fit in that sack...and also, would be fighting the entire time.
and something about dominator is how she's written to always be steps ahead of the main characters, and exceed them in the traits that define them—she's better than all of them, and so, she doesn't technically need anyone, and i'd carry all of that onto dee. but like frank said, the person who doesn't need anyone needs other people the most.
and, well, i think that sort of ties into how they decide to work together. they meet as a bounty and bounty hunter and unlike wander, dee would have fought back. and over time this would lead to sylvia accidentally gaining respect for her...i imagine them fighting off bounty hunters, sylvia not realizing they were doing it together until the end (though dee DEFINITELY would likely on purpose and she would be SO annoying about it haha). and then it just kind of Grows into an actual friendship. sorry this isn't the most descriptive my brain is having Trouble coming up with Words...i hope this gets the idea across though?
and where that ties in: dee is still REALLY LONELY. and, while she's much better than her canon counterpart, she's far from perfect. having sylvia as a companion is a great way for her to have someone keep her in check; and conversely, the same goes for sylvia. they both actively work to make sure they both stay better people, because they can fall into certain pitfalls when left on their own/with bad influences. they both influence each other to be better for each other. i think that is neat!!!
5 notes · View notes
distant--shadow · 2 years
Text
you lot have been leaving the loveliest notes in the tags on my last picture, so thank you so much for that.
Tumblr media
this one in particular hurts. here's hoping!
#My 'job' doesn't involve digital art but it does seem like the approach is inevitable#And I gotta say this whole thing had really made me reevaluate what I considered as passion jobs and jobs that surely no human wants to do#Outside of the obvious capitalism stuff#Ask yaself#What are you tryna free time up for?#Why the rush?#So you can spend more time detached from the physical?#Nah#He says in the notes of a social media (sorta) post#It's a collective effort to get us all distracted and plugged into the matrix (those who can afford it) whilst the world crumbles#Anyhow happy new year#Go outside if you can#Read a book or some poetry under a tree#(who designed the cover of that book? who styled the typeface? who set up each letter individually for the printing plate?)#(who translated it into a language that you can read?)#(who turned the tree to pulp and pressed it into paper?)#Engage in some physical hobbies and make something with your own hands#Just for the satisfaction#Of creating it in an image of your choosing#Of putting it on your shelf and showing your friends#Or crushing it between your fingers and palm#Go to a gig and feel rather than hear the sound as it moves through your body#Get a meal or a snack from your favourite spot#(did you know that sign above the window was painted by a guy with a brush and a stick and a steady hand over 40 years ago?)#Think about all of the hands that item of food had to go through to reach your mouth#Think of the time it spent basking in the sun and blanketed in the soil being nourished by decay#Hands that turned the dirt. Hands that turned into dirt.#Enjoy and support the human touch#No I will go on a tangent this is my void thanks
23 notes · View notes
iero · 2 years
Text
Okay question for you guys: Do you guys find it “childish” to buy YOURSELF a birthday gift especially if you’re, like, 25+ years old? 
42 notes · View notes
magicdyke · 2 years
Text
theoretically the idea of being a masculine woman is so awesome to me, but whenever i see anything posted by my family referring to me with "she," my vision develops chromatic aberration and i start hearing a really loud buzzing noise and a fog starts rolling in
11 notes · View notes
siena-sevenwits · 2 years
Text
.
#Maybe 84 Charing Cross Road had too strong an effect on me. As I turn my head this way and that#trying to figure out what I shall do with myself when the semester is over and ties are cut with the school I've been teaching for this pas#decade#it occurs to me that I might go - hat in hand as it were - to the old bookseller who runs my favourite used bookstore of all time.#The shop has the most wonderfully curated selection. The first time I walked in there#having been used to the used book section in value village#I almost had my breath taken away#I have to be careful not to go there too often because I am weak for spending money on books#but every Christmas I go and buy a ton as presents and usually something for myself#and I ask the owner if I can start a stack on his counter while I shop and he is always happy and comments on my finds as I bring them#He is kind and conversational on those occasions#My mom once struck up a long conversation with him when we were there together#and learned how he has owned that shop forty years or so and does not have an assistant because he's always managed on his own#And last night as I tried to fall asleep I got ridiculously ahead of myself and imagined the possibilities of employment there in#the detail of a novel without much regard for the probable realities - the realities that he has given no sign of wanting to hire and#having gone so far without an assistant probably doesn't want one#that there would be sides to the job which would likely be dreary#and that as with any job there would be all kinds of difficulties#BUT I often need these romantic imaginings to spur me on to take any kind of action. So - this might be silly - but I am thinking of doing#things the old fashioned way - of going round to the shop rather than emailing him - and asking if there is any chance that there might#be opportunities for work. It will likely all come to nothing and I'll keep looking#but I'll at least make a memory of having tried.
8 notes · View notes
psy-ay-ay · 1 year
Text
I open the naruto tag and see a really cute comic about someone colliding into naruto and him accidentally kissing sasuke, being very naruto and sasuke about it but then reaching out their hands again and kissing again. It's cute. I try to insert different characters into the design of the person colliding into naruto. it could be kiba or maybe that guy who collided into naruto the first time he accidentally kissed sasuke at the academy. i think maybe people in the comments have better ideas than me and open the notes. First one reads 'I did not cheat on my wife, someone collided into me and i accidentally kissed this man'. I remember why I am not in the great yaoi fandom of naruto.
#i think saddest part is i was so happy to see that victims of yaoi poll#and all of sakura's propaganda was about how sasuke is gay and she is a lesbian and why are people even threatened by her presence around#sasuke and shitting on her. and it's like that's just another facet of victims of yaoi!!! just saying she is a lesbian anyway is not the#'be normal about women' idea that you think it is#i'm so tired of this. this is why you only get fanart and 'funny lmao' posts on this blog now#naruto#naruto women i'm so sorry#why are you assuming that they are cheating on their wives or that they have wives if they like each other like ffs if you dont like#something in canon ending just fucking disregard it why twist it into disgusting things showcasing your misogyny#the idea that sasuke would marry sakura if he doesn't like her is SO BIZARRE to me. have you met sasuke?#do you really think he would do something out of pity or for social image or pressure or anything? you can NOT make sasuke do anything he#doesn't want to and it's not like they got married really early like right after the war? there was A LOT of time for BOTH of them to#consider their feelings for each other AND for other people#so i'm equally okay with sasuke doing his travels and arriving at the conclusion that he like sakura or naruto and wants to marry them#but what we would never do is marry someone and then cheat because he loves someone else#i personally don't even think that there's a possibility of sasuke and sakura getting married and realising much later that they dont like#each other as partners like they already have time to figure that out. i think it's canon they do spend a lot of time together travelling#and such before having sarada. oh i am not even going to talk about people saying sasuke is with sakura only because of sarada or something#the only other valid way of looking at it is that beautiful post about sakura sasuke and karin travelling together because that's just so#fucking good
6 notes · View notes
titansarmy · 1 year
Text
and if i say canon adjacent, ivy inspired jasonxnico fic. i can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland.
#I WISH TO KNOW THE FATAL FLAW THAT MAKES LONG TO BE MAGINIFICENTLY CURSED is SOOOOO jason coded tbh#anyways. look away if you're immediately put away by the infidelity trope bc i will brush over it#i'm thinking. jason is dead and nico one day just NEEDS to talk/see jason for whatever reason#and he goes to the underworld looking for him and he finds him#and he doesn't propose taking him out because jason wouldn't want that#but they talk#and then nico leaves and then he comes back and then it becomes like a thing#and they start getting closer and closer and the line between the living and the dead is already so blurred for nico but now with jason in#the mix they're basically invisible#and jason is also in a position where he's like?? nico is NOT spending his days with the LIVING because of ME! but then he doesn't want him#to go. eternally sscrficial jason grace letting himself be selfish for once but being in constant struggle because of this#and nico is also like. i want him back i can take him back but i won't do that i respects choices.#and anyways along all of this they're slowly falling in love/realising there was something there that went unaddressed#and there's this lingering sadness surrounding it because if they had just had time maybe maybe MAYBE they would have realised#OHHH its angsty#and i said it borders the infidelity trope because will is just there. 🕴#and technically nico is happy with will. he's ok. but he can't stop jason putting roots in his dreamland.#and because if i would write this (i won't) i would make jasonico as maybe at least crossing into emotional affair territory :)#idk what the conclusion would be? who you think is more insane? would jason accept going back or would nico need to force himself to let go?#bc by not doing so he's also keeping jason from rebirth and/or moving on. which not fair either.#tbh i think  the main arc should be jason wanting to live. HE goes to hades to APPEAL for his release. nico is just the support. also a bit#of nepotism i guess take hades' son to appeal to hades :)#THERE'S SO MANY TYPOS HERE OMFG and nothing makes sense#let me get my thoughts straight and i'll type it nicely jesus fucking christ
6 notes · View notes
jacksintention · 1 year
Text
.
#I was contemplating whether to message or not someone who told me to do so in May to see each other again#and like... On the one hand I want to. I so desperately want to#On the other hand... what do I do afterwards?#I've crafted so much of my life around the fact of seeing him again#I was content with that instant in December. More than content. I didn't expect him to be so happy to see me at all#And he told me he was leaving but he'd come back in May‚ to write him then to see each other at lenght#But after so much absence and honestly so little intimacy since the very beginning‚#and mainly having the chance of seeing him be what's kept me alive for a long while... it's like. What for? xD#We have nothing to say to each other and what do I do afterwards with my life?#So anyway I was contemplating this decision and#I really should learn better ways of coping with life. This is so stupid it's kinda humiliating#But he's meant so much to me. He means so much to me. I don't think he knows how much he's meant to me#But like. In a totally detached way xD He's one of my favourite people I've ever met. I enjoyed spending time with him#But it's not that. It's situational xD#I don't know. I just wanted to ramble a bit and this blog has fewer followers haha#I used to write these things down on notebooks but I'm afraid of someone reading them when I'm dead haha#Other than the instant in December I hadn't seen this man since 2015. It's been so long. I've missed him desperately but also I haven't#I can't believe his 'go into academia‚ that way we'll see each other again one day' worked#If someone is reading this‚ don't go into academia. It's depressing‚ it makes you resent what you love and it doesn't pay haha#It's stupid how many things I've ruined in my life for my detached attachment for this particular person#with whom I never really had a close relationship. Yet here I am. And in part‚ indeed‚ here I am#I was considering the most effective way to kill myself when he told me to go into academia to meet again at some random conference in 2015#And I was going to kill myself this December until I saw him and he told me to meet him in May#And he was the only person to say the right words when I first tried to kill myself#I don't know what he does#But he always makes me want to live#The sky looks beautiful and violet when I watch it from beneath the jacaranda flowers and suddenly Tuesdays come back#I miss how his hands smelled of coffee in the mornings and how he blushed when you teased him. He had beautiful hands#I think I won't write to him. It seems unbearable. It seems unbearable to see him again and see everything that was and wasn't#and how much kinder my life could have been had I known how to manauver it. And it's unbearable losing the possibility of seeing him again
4 notes · View notes