#I was reading articles on how to tell your parents you have an eating disorder and it made my heart race so much I could feel it in my eyes

[makkie-is-screaming]

I’m tired of this disorder but It’s the only bit of control that I have

[unreliablesnake]

könig and ghost (separated) with S/O who struggles with and ED. ?

Note: I had a bit of trouble with this one, I'll admit. I never specified what kind of eating disorder it is.

Warning: eating disorder

*****

KÖNIG

He notices the signs a few months into your relationship. It’s not that he hasn’t been paying attention to you, he was just sent on a mission for a month or two, so he wasn’t around you for a while.

But when he figures out that something is wrong, he goes to your friends to see what they know. At first they don’t want to say anything, but when König tells them how worried he is, they eventually tell the truth.

Once he knows what's going on with you, he does his research to figure out how to bring it up. He wants to talk to you, but since it's a sensitive topic, he's not sure how he should do it.

One time he takes a deep breath and just tells you he noticed you've been acting weird. He noticed the signs and symptoms too. He knows you're hiding something, and he needs you to be honest with him for the sake of your relationship.

You're mad. You scream at him for accusing you of something like this. But your heated denial only makes him sure he's right, and it breaks his heart.

He lets you breathe for a few days after that, hoping you'll be more cooperative after some time on your own.

And he's right. You come to him yourself, begging him to forgive you, and finally admitting that you do have an issue that needs to be solved.

You ask for his help, and König is more than willing to assist you in any way he can.

GHOST

When Ghost finds out–putting the pieces together after reading an article about eating disorders on a boring afternoon–he dives into the internet to see how one can help.

He finds a psychologist who specializes in these problems, and he makes an appointment without asking you. He knows it's fucked up and he should have talked to you first, but he can feel that you would be against it.

So he makes you sit down one night, telling you how he wants you to know that you can trust him and always count on him, but you just can't expect him to ignore the elephant in the room. You play dumb, but when he tells you that he knows what's going on, you break down.

He tells you about the appointment, and to his surprise, you're grateful for his help. “My parents have been telling me to go to therapy for a while, but I wasn't strong enough,” you admit with tears falling down your cheeks. You want him to go with you, to be there to support you.

And he does. If he's not on a mission, he goes with you and waits for you to finish the session.

[romanarose]

Steven with a Reader with OCD

Steven Grant x GN!Reader with OCD

You are struggling with obsessive thoughts late at night, and worry how Steven will react.

Warnings: OCD, compulsions, bleeding, aggressive nail clipping ig?

AN: I've been doing a lot better with my OCD lately, I always do better when I feel in control of my life, and I'm always more in control when Im in a stable living environment. Living with my parents was never stable, living with my last roommate was not either, but living in this dorm has been such a sanctuary. Still, there are some things I struggle with, compulsions that have been a part of my life for so long, I don't know if there's a way to go back, I don't remember a time when I had normal nails. Just wanted to write this for a little comfort.

********************

When Steven woke up and saw you weren't in the bed, he assumed you were in the bathroom, but when you didn't come back to him, Steven was worried so he came outside the bedroom for you. Steven saw you sitting on the couch, legs crossed, the finger tape you had been trying all unraveled on the coffee table.

You saw him, immediately closing your eyes in defeat before going back to work, trying to make your nails 'right' "Sorry" You mumble.

"What are you sorry for?" Steven asked, sincerely.

You tried to stop from crying, angry at yourself. "For failing. I really wanted to break this, but... laying in bed I just could feel everything, and it was wrong, and it was bad and-" You wipe your eyes with your sleeve, and angle the nail clipper far in, proceeding to take off most of the nail on your toe, not that there was much.

Steven saw your low cut, abused nails and fingers, the sensitive skin that wanted to be covered and protected by callouses but now open to infection, the little bits of blood on your feet.

"It's okay, my darling, I know you're trying"

"Not hard enough, apparently"

"Hey" Steven tilted your chin up to him. "You've done really, really, well with others things, love. This is just something that's been around a long time, it's hard to break"

You pull away from him, embarrassed, but unable to stop. "I wouldn't do this if I didn't feel like I had too."

"Yeah, it doesn't seem like something you'd do for fun" Steven offered sympathetically, earning a small smile. Steven was familiar with strange quirks. Steven's bedtime routine before he met Marc was extensive, and Marc was intense about cleaning, so when you began dating, he didn't think too much of your strange eating habits. As things progressed, and you met and fell in love with Jake and Marc, you opened up about your obsessive-compulsive disorder, Steven tried his best to support you, reading all the books and articles possible, and holding your hand when there was nothing to be done.

"It's fucking humiliating" but you don't stop, you can't stop, you're trying so hard to get a nail that was in the skin, digging in at the calloused layers of your body trying to protect you. "Ow!" You missed your goal, clipping the skin and causing blood.

Within a flash, Steven stole the clippers from your hands.

"Steven!" You shout in a panic, never mind it's 3 AM

He stands up, trying to play keep-away but he's not tall enough for that. "You just cut yourself open!"

"Give it to me!" You're in a panic, you need to take care of it, need to make it right even though you know it will never be right.

"I draw the line at you hurting yourself."

"Fuck you." You storm into the kitchen, dropping blood on the carpet as you put on your slides and grab your keys.

"Bloody hell" He sighs exasperated, following you. "Where are you going!"

"To the fucking store to get another fucking nail clipper!"

"You're not driving when you're this upset."

"You don't get to tell me what to do" You clutch the keys to your chest and press your body against the door as he fights to take the keys back, but the pressure of it was all too much. Steven was mad at you, he thought you were weird, and your nails still weren't right and it was bad and things were bad and you had to fix it but he won't let you fix it and can't he see you needed to fix it?

When Steven heard you crying, he stopped, backing away immediately and giving you the clippers. His heart hurting for you, he watched as you, still crying, sink to the floor and start going back to work at your poor toes so fast, like it was the most important thing in the world. "I can't stop" You say through tears.

Steven sighed. "I know." He kissed the top of your head before stepping away. "Do what you need to do, then come to the bathroom when you're ready."

You only barely register what he said, and you certainly don't register the water running in the bathroom, your only though being fix it, fix it, fix it.

When you finally satisfy that ache enough, everything hurts, and you know damn well it's going to hurt more in the morning, multiple infections on your hands and feet, then more as they nails grow in again. Tired and ready for sleep, you pad over to the bathroom with bleary eyes, finding Steven sitting on the tub, looking up at you worriedly.

"Hey. You feeling better?"

"Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm like this."

"No" Steven stands up, taking you in his arms. "I'm sorry you're going through this, I know it's a lot. Here."

You look at the tub, realizing now theirs steaming water in it, only a few inches high.

"Is that for me?" You ask, curious.

"Yeah, it's really hot, so be carful. I just, I know they usually hurt, I thought we could try and prevent infection?"

You felt like you could cry again. "That would be great. Thank you"

The water was very very hot, Steven first put your fingers in the hot water and washed them with gentle soap, cleaning out all the blood, then after patting them dry, Steven put triple antibiotic gel on your fingers, bandaging the worst one. He then repeated the action on your toes, very careful but thorough on the toe that had been clipped.

As he laid you down on the bed again, tucking you in, he asked. "How are you feeling? Any racing thoughts?"

"No" you shook your head. "Just shit hurting" Before you or him could say more, you broke down crying again. "Im sorry"

"Oh love," Steven quickly embraced you. "You have nothing to be sorry for"

"I'm so fucking weird and gross" You sob.

"No." His voice was firm as he guided you to look at him. "You are not weird, and you are not gross. You are suffering, and it just hurts me to see you like this. I promise whatever I can do to ease your pain, I will. I'm sorry you're hurting, but you're doing so well, and I'm so proud of you."

Steven held you tight that night, the way that always comforted you, relaxed your mind, and although you swore you could feel your pulse in your thumb, and you still felt embarrassed, you felt safe knowing that Steven, Marc and Jake would always love you

**********************

IDK who would even like this but @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel and @welcometostayingawake bc ur my buddies and you support my weirdly specific shit

[tallmantall]

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Back-to-School Dos and Don'ts

Tips on navigating summer's end, especially for kids who are anxious Writer: Jerry Bubrick, PhD Clinical Expert: Jerry Bubrick, PhD What You'll Learn - What can I do to help my anxious child feel better about starting school? - Why is routine so important? - What is a “dry run” and how can it help ease the transition to school? - Quick Read - Full Article - DO get back into the routine - DON’T forget to refuel - DO talk about changing friendships - DON’T share your anxieties - DO have a trial run - DON’T be afraid of setbacks - DO help kids manage their commitments - DON’T ignore problems The transition from summer into the new school year is tough for both parents and kids. Especially for kids who have anxiety. One of the best ways to reduce anxiety is to prepare early. Get back into the school routine at least a week before the first day. This means kids need to sleep, eat and reduce screen time on a school schedule. Buying school supplies and going on a “dry run” helps a lot too. That’s where you go to school, walk the halls and find classrooms before school actually starts. Telling kids that their anxious feelings are normal also helps them feel more confident. It also helps to make sure your kid isn’t diving into every activity on day one. If a kid has too much on their plate, they’re likely to fall behind. This can make them anxious or even depressed. It’s good to help kids choose which things they really want to do and not sign up for everything at once. Paying attention to when and what your kid is eating is important too. Kids need to eat healthy foods regularly to perform well in school. They also need to fuel up in order to do homework. Try to make breakfast, even if it’s quick, a part of the morning routine. It’s also good to keep tabs on what your child eats for lunch. A well-fed, good sleeper is going to have a better school day and be more ready for homework than a kid who’s over-tired and hungry. The end of summer is in sight, and parents everywhere are feeling that inevitable anxiety over how to make the most of the upcoming school year. In my experience, anticipating the hurdles of reentry and carefully structuring the first few weeks of school goes a long way to setting the stage for a successful year, particularly if your child has an anxiety disorder or another emotional or learning challenge. With that in mind, here are some dos and don’ts for families who want to start the school year right. DO get back into the routine There are many positive things about summer, like more time to spend with your family and novel opportunities for your children. But summer is also a disrupting time for kids, who can easily forget that they were ever in school at all. So I strongly suggest that you start making the necessary readjustment to school life before the first day. There is no use denying that school is coming, and getting prepared earlier can get them off to a better start. First, we want kids to start (and they’re going to resist) having more school-like hours. Even just a few days before school begins, bedtime should go back from 11:00 to 9:00, for example, or whatever is appropriate. Additionally, kids should be waking up around the time they’d have to wake up for school and performing the normal routine: shower, breakfast, getting dressed, and so forth. We also suggest that you limit screen time — whether it’s gaming, streaming TV shows, or social media, make sure they are off at least an hour before bed. Kids sometimes have a hard time separating from their virtual world, and if they don’t have some “downtime” they’ll still be engaged and it will affect their ability to fall asleep on their own. You can also shop for school supplies earlier rather than later. The selection at stores is better, which is no small matter when you’re trying to make the transition as easy as possible, and the activity primes kids for their eventual return to the classroom. DON’T forget to refuel When kids are with you, when you’re both on vacation, you know what and when they’re eating, and if they’re staying up late, it’s likely to be watching a movie with you. When school starts again, you lose some control, even if you don’t realize it. You may assume that certain things are happening at school-or in your child’s bedroom-and then wonder what in the world has gotten into your suddenly surly, under-performing kid. Well, if they’re not eating until they’re starved, and they’re on TikTok until midnight… I encourage all my families to be particularly aware of meals. Most kids wake up at 6:30 or 7:00am and may or may not have breakfast. For younger grades, lunch could be anywhere from 10:30 to 1:00. Do we know what they’re eating for lunch? Do they bring lunch or buy hot lunch? How much are they eating? Are they trading their sandwiches for cookies? Are they having a snack during afterschool activities? If they’re not having a snack, they could be coming home ravenous at 5:00pm, not be able to focus on homework for an hour, then get all of the days calories and nourishment at dinner and feel exhausted and have little mental energy for work. Then they get a second wind and are online into the wee hours. The fact is that a well-fed, good sleeper is going to have a better school day and be more efficient with homework than a kid who’s over-tired and starving. DO talk about changing friendships Summer can be a volatile time for young friendships, and talking about what to expect when school starts is a good way to ease kids into the idea that social relationships change. Sometimes your BFF one year may seem a little distant the next year, and letting kids know this sort of thing happens can help them weather these often-painful changes. Being able to share friends with other children, and to have friends overlap, is a skill that’s important to learn, which is why it’s something that warrants discussion. Not all problems need fixing; sometimes kids just want to be able to talk about these upsets without expecting you to fix them; sometimes kids just want parents to validate their feelings and say, “I know that’s hard.” DON’T share your anxieties Parents are often very caught up in their children’s social lives because they want them to make good friends, be happy, and learn social skills that will help them be successful adults. These are all great reasons to be engaged, but kids don’t always understand the interest that way. This is particularly true of anxious kids. For instance, it’s very easy for parents to get into the habit of asking, “Did you make any friends?” when kids come home from school. But that can be shaming for kids who are struggling or still figuring out where they fit in. Better questions would be, “How was your day?” or “Tell me three things you liked about your day,” or “Tell me three things you didn’t like about your day.” Neutral questions are better than ones that a child might interpret as, “If you didn’t make friends, then I’m going to be disappointed in you.” DO have a trial run One way to help kids get off on the right foot—or at least a better foot—is to give kids with anxiety problems, and certainly kids who have refused to go to school in the past, a “dry run” or two before school starts. Driving by the building, walking in the building, getting reacquainted with the smells, sights, and sounds; this can be necessary to make Day One happen at all. Trial runs are also really good for kids transitioning to a new school. Kids who are going from elementary to middle, or middle to upper, have an orientation, but it usually takes place at the end of the previous year. So it’s good to go and take a dry run and map out their classes, where their locker is and that kind of thing. And if a kid puts up a fight and refuses to do that, it could be a red flag that this year will be problematic. But at least you’ve figured this out before school starts. DON’T be afraid of setbacks If you have a child who had some real trouble the year before—like a mood or anxiety problem—and may have made real gains over the summer, you might be tempted to anticipate an easy return to school. But it’s good for parents to temper expectations. Too often we think our children have learned all these new skills and so Day One, Two, and Three should be stellar days. If not, then something’s wrong. But that’s not how it works. We have to let kids ease into it, and allow for ups and downs. If you can accept that, then your child will have more confidence and be able to accept setbacks. DO help kids manage their commitments The tricky part of coming back to school is that the first week or two are usually pretty exciting but slow weeks in terms of work, so it’s easy to get caught up in a false sense of, “Oh, this is easy, and I can take on this, this, and that extracurricular.” Then, October comes along and a kid can think, “Holy crap, I have a lot of work in front of me and where am I going to find the time?” So it might be a good idea to wait on new activities until mid-October and leave enough time for adjustment. The fact is that these days kids tend to get over-involved in clubs, sports, student government, and by the time they get home, they’re exhausted. Maybe by the time they start homework, it’s 9pm, only two hours before bedtime at 11:00. I’ve worked with many kids who get overwhelmed by their activities, and then they get further and further behind in their work, which makes them depressed and prone to procrastinate. It just becomes too much for them to handle. We want parents to temper their expectations for kids, so that kids can practice balance in their own lives; modeling this in your own life can be helpful. For example, you could explain to your child that you were asked to join a fundraising committee but you said no because you realized that you would be overcommitted. Practicing what you preach, and letting your kids see, can be worth a thousand stern reminders. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub DON’T ignore problems To flog this point one more time: Many schools are fantastic, with talented and caring teachers and administrators. But you can’t expect the school to have your insight into your child, or to automatically have the same concerns and knowledge about them. Sometimes the school’s point of view is, “We’re not going to do anything until we see a reason to do something.” That’s why we’d like parents to be more proactive. You need to be your child’s advocate, and if you see them struggling, or you’re worried about them struggling, it’s better to say something sooner rather than later. Read the full article

[gynandromorph]

sometimes i think “it’s so ridiculous to claim my mom didn’t feed me, i didn’t Literally Die so i must have been fed” and then i started remembering recently just how frequently she wouldn’t come home for nights on end or she’d come home late enough and yell at me and my sister for why the fuck we weren’t asleep yet if she came home at all like how WOULD she have fed me, now that i’m grasping how much food people generally need to eat to NOT be hungry regularly it’s like “wow maybe this eating disorder really didn’t come out of nowhere”

[mochikeiji]

Exact Replica

Request: "Hi! I really love you're writing and was wondering if you could do prompt 25+29 for Kuroo Tetsuro from Haikyuu? And could it be angst to fluff? (Maybe Kuroo was ignoring the reader due to lots of work/stress so reader feels neglected?) It's totally up to you tho! Ty so much!!"

25. "Would you notice if I was gone?"

29. "I didn't mean it."

↠ Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuro x F!Reader

↠ Warning: angst to fluff, mentions of pregnancy and kuroo's sad childhood

↬ Word Count: 3.7k

↠ a/n: okay this is my longest one yet. I swear the prompt screams angst to fluff so much that I go into it.

↳ from Go! Go! Gogatsu Event

Kuroo Tetsuro achieved many great things in life after graduating from his university, with multiple acknowledgements and honors. Landed a position as a young CEO from a sports association at the age of 24, he had enough money in his pocket and bank to stable both of you financially. Life was good to him after having to build from the roots  of his ruined childhood; the only years of defeat Kuroo doesn't ever want to repeat. His father and mother were in the same position as you both are; owning your own shared house, good working environment, investments and stability, married.

Up until this day Kuroo questions why his parents split. They were fortunate that they had every thing completed, sadly it was the family and love that wasn't taken care of. You could be the happiest person, yet the void inside would still be there, Kuroo thought. Foolish people were to neglect something more valuable than any object that is given. Whether it was his father or his mother that stopped nurturing what they both bonded for the longest time, they were both fools to let each other go over something simple. He vows to never let history repeat itself.

But now the tables seemed to have flipped for the both of you. Your lives not far from what he had ran away from. If Kuroo could eat his words back, he would've now that he was running late yet again to coming home, forgetting about the promise he swore to about joining you after a full month of being occupied in his office. Coming home to have you already tucked in bed, but suffering in silence.

Most days he didn't bother greeting you in the morning and night. As a good wife, you understand. He was a busy man with an important position to maintain.

There were times where you'd be tapping your foot down on the floor as the clock strikes at an ungodly hour with your messages still not bothered to be replied to or even read. But you understand. He's working! Always doing what he can for the both of you like the good husband he wanted to be.

Even if sometimes he'd come home without a kiss or a simple, "I missed you." you understand. He's drained. No time for silly, endearing affections. You've done them a lot before back when you were younger. You're adults! Married! A married partner shouldn't be feeling so needy when the other was only doing their part.

Even when sometimes your insecurities would kick in whenever you'd visit your husband to drop his forgotten lunch again, only to see him flocked by different women; probably secretaries, interns, and assistance.

You understand. You always did took such good care of what you two have.

Well had.

His home office door slams shut, awakening you from your nap on the couch. Didn't Kuroo notice you when he walked in? Looking at the clock you noticed it was near 11:30 PM since he's arrived. Late again, maybe he hasn't eaten anything? No worries, you thought sadly. Stretching your aching muscles, you made your way to the dining area. So far dinner was left untouched once more. Just how many times has it gone to waste because you continued on cooking for two?

Or rather, three.

You beam at the sudden reminder while preparing your husband's plate. You'd always miss him whenever he'd come home, never had the chance to surprise him at the right time of your little discovery about a week ago. Fear did struck you because of the possible reactions he'd give, but you were so excited in sharing the news that a couple would share the equal happiness from, you couldn't contain it any longer.

Maybe you should've chosen another time unbeknownst to you how your husband was hunched over his desk, clearly in displease of the previous events that had occurred during the meeting back in his office. Hence why his work stack added more piles of predicaments, only fueling his headaches more wishing he could just lay down peace and quiet without disturbance.

He grumbles at the knock on his door, only typing furiously with emphasized taps on the keyboard. You, not sensing the emitting aura from the room took it as a response for you to enter. It surprised you a bit on how disordered his home office had become. It was obvious his coat had been thrown carelessly as it lays on the floor, wrinkled. Carefully placing the plate full of food on the small coffee table at the side, you gingerly picked up the article of clothing. Lightly trying to smoothen out the lines before hanging it behind his door and turning back to your husband.

"Tetsu?" cautiously calling out his name, you were kind of wary at the fact he didn't turn to see you unlike he does before whenever you'd enter the room. "I brought you your dinner. You came home pretty late." you tried to maintain the light hearted tone of your voice to hide how nervous you were in telling him the big news.

The atmosphere was kind of eerie when all he did was hum meekly from your words. Feeling a bit disheartened from his lack of attentiveness, still forcing a smile, you padded a little closer behind him with your hands clasps together. "I also wanted— well needed to tell you something." averting your eyes away from him as you prepared in your head. With a small hope he'd turn around for once after a long time.

"Can it be another time? I'm in the middle of stuff here."

Another time.

Why is it always next time? It's frustrating enough to not see him or have him speak to you even for a moment, but this made your stomach churn in an unpleasant way. Frowning at his poor reply, you gulped a few of your sentence back. Not fully trusting your emotions getting in the way, "You never really talked to me before, Tetsu.. I get that you're busy, but it wouldn't hurt for you to give a little minute for me."

Even just a second as long as he'd finally notice you.

"(Y/n) if you understand then why bother? You can clearly see I'm busy." chest huffing out a harsh sigh, still not bothering to turn around. Gripping your hands tightly, your patience were starting to snap. "You're always busy, Tetsu! I never had a proper conversation with you again." raising the volume of your voice a little made his actions come to a halt. Chair revolving around to face you. His appearance made it obvious how exhausted he has been; tousled hair that he usually takes longer to style, the light forming bags underneath his eyes from the screen and lack of sleep. The visible annoyance marked in his expression. But couldn't he say the same for you?

"Fine. Here, you have my attention now. Are we talking properly now?" his way of provoking you wasn't in the right place. It only made you look at him in disbelief because you've grown to never meet such side of your husband before. The news you had originally planned to share vanished from your head, replaced with the restrained emotions that has been building up inside your heart, tipping over.

"Tetsu, what is wrong with you?" looking at him now seemed like you were talking to someone else. His words were curt and short with no intention of prolonging the conversation, itching to get back to work so he could be done with it. "I already you I'm just busy. I would be done by now if you didn't want to talk properly with me." he says as if he's the one in distraught. "Seriously, nothing's wrong but I think you aren't. You're never like this."

"That's because you never cared to noticed in the first place!" wailing out the collapsed emotions that has weighed you heavily. It was too late to stop yourself from voicing out the things your husband left aside. A full month of being a good, understanding image of a wife thrown away to the rubbles without even appreciating the the long nights of you waiting up for him, cooking meals even though the next day they'd end up being in the trash, tolerating the coldness of the used to be warm sheets, putting up with the insecurities you took upon yourself to hide to avoid troubling your husband further when all you wanted was for him to assure you that he still loves you and only you.

The fascade you put up just for him crumbles. And it infuriates you more of how he still doesn't notice.

"(Y/n), you know I've been working! There's so much stuff that needs to be attended for just so you and I could live normally!"

"Tetsuro, we are stabled, it's okay to slow down a bit. How is this any normal to you when you don't even realize how this affects me?!"

The chair slides back roughly against the floor with a loud creak as he towers over you. Glowering eyes with a dark expression looming over his face, clearly now enraged. "You're being selfish right now. I'm here doing what I can to support us and all you could think of was you, you, you. Can't you see I'm doing this for you as well? God what else do you want from me, the world?"

"I only wanted you to give me your time and attention even just for a second, Tetsuro! I've been doing my best for you all this month and I never said anything to trouble you!"

It hurts when he said how you were being the selfish one when it was the opposite. It dawned to you that all those days of giving your all for him wasn't once noticed. "Will you ever grow up already? Attention? Really? We're adults, (Y/n) not teenagers for fucks sake. My time is just wasted because of you!" he doesn't stop there even if you've had your mouth already shut from how he portrayed you as. His words were beginning to leave a deep scar in you as you quiet down to the next line.

"If you think that nothing is troubling me, there is! And you just happen to add in for crying out loud!"

There were no words exchanged after his meltdown. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he looks away from you— who's eyes were already watery. Unable to even tell your side anymore at the ache of your heart. "So..I'm just troubling you then?" quivering out your words, Kuroo clenches his jaw as the bubbling frustration was being held back with the last bit of restrain he had.

"Would you notice if I was gone, Tetsu?"

Instead of being alarmed by your chosen form of sentence, you watched with sad eyes as your husband pulled back his chair and faced his workload. He didn't even noticed you're already crying silently, "Not now, (Y/n). We'll talk later."

He doesn't even noticed how you walked out sobbing with a shattered heart nor the door in the living room closing. Leaving him alone for the next few hours in peace like he wanted.

Time went on quickly when one doesn't take their eyes off from their consecutive workaholic state. With a groan, he almost slams his laptop shut before stretching his bones, slowly relaxing the tense muscles. It's up to his co workers and assistance to deal with the load he's prepared to dump onto them after they threw all theirs to him. Hoping to freshen up his face, Kuroo tidies his desk up before making his way to the door. Stopping in realization of the now cold dinner that was left on the coffee table.

His stomach growled loudly at the lack of food it's digested in the longest run. It was still good if he heats it up, he does miss eating home made meals than his stale ones back in the cafeteria of his workplace. Grabbing the plate carefully he first made a short journey to the kitchen to heat up his food. Unusual it was to have all the lights out in the house. You'd always leave some opened when he was awake. Then again the guilt started to crawl up to his chest knowing he's the cause of why you'd forgotten.

Now entering the bathroom with water running down his face, he plans ahead the apology he owes you when he wakes up tomorrow morning. He could reschedule his own time since he is the boss. He closes the faucet right after he was done rinsing. Looking around for the towel his eyes caught something below the small organizer you put up next to the sink. Grabbing the towel above the first part of the organizer, bending down slowly to avoid getting cramps, his actions were quick to grab the object that caught his attention the moment it seemed so familiar and surprising.

Pregnancy test. Two lines for positive.

Having a child with you was the last thing he's yet to accomplish from his list, and here it was. As much as he wanted to be in denial, it all felt like surge of contentment drowns him in because he was going to be a dad. However his body began to tremble whilst still holding the test and staring intently at it. The previous guilt that was crawling beneath his bones became a dark, desolated hole of anxiety and fear that ate him whole. The things he's said and done will never be taken back no matter how he apologizes to the past events a few hours ago.

Hours ago. It was already 2:25 when the fight had ceased. Deep down he knows he couldn't wait until the next day to plead for forgiveness. After all, he did vow to never leave you both a day feeling heavy alone. Kuroo felt nauseous of how much of an asshole he had treated you. Like starting a game of volleyball once more, he was beyond nervous when he approached your shared bedroom. There was no excuse of his actions indeed as he solemnly enters the dimmed room. He sighs a little shaky when he closes in your bed, "Baby?" he starts, "Baby, are you awake?" it was one of the little things he's memorized that you'd do when you both aren't in good terms. You never really slept, just pretended because you always had the heart to wait up for him.

When he gets no response he reaches out to pat you, only coming to the sense that the sheets were left untouched; no warmth traced behind. You weren't there, any where. His blood runs cold and immediately fishes out for his phone in his pocket, speed dialing your number while he circles the entire area of the house in case you'd be there. Now he was more terrified when he hears the familiar voice mail from the living room couch where you had slept while waiting for him.

You left your phone. His wife wasn't home— his pregnant wife.

"Fuck." running a rough hand through his tangled hair. The lump on his throat grows but he refuses to let out a string of sobs. It was his fault you were gone at such an ungodly hour. Kuroo felt more than a bigger asshole than before he's made you come to the point of leaving home. Just as his mother did and never returned. The one thing he swore you two would never be the same came to life, only thought now is Kuroo doesn't know whether you've left him for good after being a neglectful husband and to have dishearten his own beloved wife like that.

"Would you notice if I was gone?"

Rang in his head as he stood outside the neighborhood, running. Chasing after a hallucinated image of you any place he tried to remember you'd be in. A fool he has been to have left you in a loveless marriage. He loves you, he really does. He can't imagine a life without you in it. Just as it was about to become the happiest he's wanted, he pushed it all too soon. A bad husband, he cries. "(Y/n), please come home." legs aching and panting from having to study all areas. It was pitch black; there were no opened spots for you to even go at an hour of slumber and chaos. The only convenient store did not even have you in it. You were no where to be seen and Kuroo breaks.

Of course he'd notice when it was all too late. The past he's ran away from was still the place he's returned now that the house was only occupied by nothing but rotten memories of the love he didn't took care of. The exact replica of a married life he desperately tried to dodge. "I'm so sorry." for the lonely nights he's left you to sleep, over thinking of what may have been your fault and always figuring him out tirelessly. For the small efforts of adoration he didn't took a glance at and gone to waste. For the words that were never even meant for you to ever feel. For being a neglectful husband. He was sorry he noticed too late how he ruined his precious wife.

Now he's left you on your own out in the dangers outside. If anything horrible happened to you he will forever be crushed. But the world thinks that second chances are given to those who truly deserve them after you came in quietly, slipping off your sandals and waving back to your friend who had dropped you off home. Your short break to the convenient store changed when you met up with her and drove back to her place to rant about what happened. Being the sluggish person you are whenever sadness hits, you never noticed how long you've over stayed. It wasn't like your husband was going to know if he still was working.

Much to your surprise that he wasn't, you stifled a gasp to find him with his hands holding his head that was leaned down on the table. His shoulders were lightly jolting with escapes of audible sniffles, indicating that he was in fact crying. If he looked exhausted before, it wasn't enough to describe his current state; as if he was a man who'd lost every thing as he sat there with all hope lost. Your foot padded on the creaky part of the floor in attempt to tiptoe over his hunched back to comfort him. Squeaking in the awkward situation you've put the room in when Kuroo turns his head behind to see you standing there a bit frightened, but concerned when you saw how disheveled his face looks.

"Tetsu—" his name got cut off short from when you almost tripped over your balance at the sudden impact of Kuroo throwing himself into your arms with his weight. You couldn't make out what he was mumbling on about, but you melt to his embrace even if he squeezes the living day lights from you, afraid that he was going crazy and you weren't real. "Thank God," litters of kisses were placed on your clavicle, "You're back."

He repeats, slowly convincing himself that you are indeed home in his arms, safe, no harm detected. Just home. "I'm so sorry.."

"I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of what I said, I-I'm so sorry." your bodies swayed gently to the sound of your hushes and his cries of apologies. "Please don't leave me like that again. I was so scared."

"Shhh, it's okay, Tetsu. I'm sorry. I'm okay— we're okay." leading him to sit down at the couch, you placed the bag of different brands of sweets and junk on the table before facing your husband. You had to stifle in a laugh watching him wipe his nose, you couldn't help but be reminded of a mini Tetsuro by looking at him. The argument that stung you faded when he took a hold of your hands and mumbled another apology.

"You shouldn't be sorry for anything. I should be.." flickering his eyes from your belly to your bloodshot eyes from your own fiasco back in your friend's place, he slides in closer next to you where your shoulders touched. "I haven't been a good husband lately, have I?" he looks at you expectantly. Frowning, you still nodded. Tired of hiding your own feelings from him.

"I know you're busy most of the time, Tetsu. But I just wanted you to recognize me as your wife." thumbs quick to swipe away the tear that had shed from your eye, "We're in this together, remember?" he pulls you right from the arm, shoving your face to his chest in need to hold you for all the times he should've. Ignoring the dampness of his white long-sleeved polo, breathing in the scent of your sweet shampoo. You were still so forgiving and understanding despite on how equally tired as he was you are.

"I'm so sorry I've made you feel as if I never cared anymore. You never deserved that." his lips found it's way to the crown of your head. "I don't deserve you, and I really don't want to lose you after me being stupid." giggling through tears, fist connecting a soft punch on his chest, bubbling a chuckle to the surface as he lightly pulls you away from hiding.

"I really didn't mean all of those things I've said, baby. I love you and only you." stroking ever so lovingly your cheek, you don't catch on to the fact that his other hand was placed over your stomach protectively. Making a silent promise to not only you, but the soon to be new addition to the family that he will never again neglect what he should've cherished more and looked after than the constant worries at the back of his head.

Because he will never again repeat the replica of a broken family he once was born in.

© all content belongs to mochikeiji. Please do not repost or copy, ありがとうございました!! (=^･^=)

[letarasstuff]

Making the Voice quieter

(A/N): This was requested by an anon. I hope you like it!

Summary: Spencer finds out about his daughter's eating disorder, he will he react?

Warnings: Angst, discription of an eating disorder (bulemia to be more specific), discription of (binge) eating, bad body image, self hatred, abuse of pills (diet pills)

Wordcount: 2.2k

✨Masterlist✨

______________________________

Prison. Cat. Diana. All those things happened close to each other. Luckily a few months have passed since then and slowly everything settles down. Spencer is able to get his feelings sorted through, processing the events.

Ever since his imprisonment he follows a more or less strict routine, given the uncertainty coming with his job. Spencer still tries to keep it up. So is every Friday dedicated to buying the majority of groceries and needed non food articles.

Sometimes (Y/N) tags along, other days she already has plans with her friends. Her father doesn’t mind it much, he is happy to see her socializing with people her age. The two of them have one father-daughter-night in the week anyways.

“Sweetheart, I’m heading out! Did you put everything you need on the list?” He shouts into the apartment. A faint “Yes! Love you!” echoes back to him. A smile forms on the doctor’s face. Oh how he longed to hear those words from her every night while he laid in his bed, locked up for a crime he didn’t commit. “Alright, love you, too!”

Meanwhile her father has to deal with Karens being their ignorant selfs, (Y/N) is under the biggest stress she has ever been. The end of her sophomore year and suddenly every teacher thinks it’s alright to give the students a load of work in every single class.

It’s beginning to get to her head. Four essays, three projects and studying for two tests and everything is due next week. She can see herself sitting at that very desk for the whole weekend, trying to contain control of her current situation.

As (Y/N) begins to read the page in front of her again to pull any information from it, it feels like her brain shuts down. Only one thought possesses her. One thing that can assure her, make her happy again.

Her body moves automatically, into the kitchen to the fridge. Her hands grab what they can. Puddings, yogurts, bananas, apples, last night’s dinner, everything that she can carry. Then the teenager sits down at the floor and devours everything she just got out. (Y/N) doesn’t stop until she gets to this intense feeling of being full.

It seems like she snaps out of a trance. Upon seeing what she ate in the shortest time, the girl feels even worse. Quickly she tries to destroy any kind of evidence, getting the trash out, making the fridge appear more full than it is, anything.

In her panicked state she remembers the small container of pills in her room. Relief washes over (Y/N), thinking everything will be better. She takes two of them for good measurement.

With the relief also guilt takes over. What just happened wasn’t normal. But (Y/N) tells herself that she can stop any time she wants. It’s not like she is sick or something, everything is fine. It’s just her way to copy stress. A way she discovered while her father was in prison. The diet pills help her to undo her mistakes. Someone from her friend group, who is already 18, got her them from the doctor for a fair price.

Feeling calmer now, the teenager sits back at her desk. A new perception of control helps her to continue her school work. She has to get done as much as possible, because in not even half an hour (Y/N)’s best friend will be the toilet.

Spencer is completely obvious to it. Sure, he is a profiler and he noticed his daughter’s new view on eating healthy food and working out. He just assumes that (Y/N) and her friends are on a healthy trip and he doesn’t see a problem in this. On the contrary, he is happy that she wants to be good to herself and her body.

But as the weeks go on, a suspicious feeling captures him. “(Y/N)? Why is the fridge nearly empty? We got groceries last Friday and it’s only Tuesday. Did you have a party over here while I was away on the case?” Spencer enters his daughter’s room, trying to joke about it.

(Y/N) freezes. Of course she isn’t able to say that the food went bad and she threw them away, her father is meticulous regarding this subject, always checking the best before day date. “Uhm, please don’t be mad. But Alex, you know her, the short one with red hair, uhm her parents are on a business trip and she is not the best cook. So I brought her lunch and dinner over. I’m sorry for not telling you.” She looks down at the floor, not only to feign sadness but also to avoid his eyes.

The second the teenager talks Spencer knows there is something fishy. Her voice is higher and she fidget with her hands. But he writes it off as being nervous for not telling him. Ever since he is out of prison, it feels like his daughter is withholding something.

“It’s fine, Sweetheart. Just give me a heads-up beforehand, so I know to buy more groceries. What do you think about ordering something tonight? I heard from Luke that a small Chinese restaurant opened a few streets down. We can celebrate the end of the stressful phase in Sophomore year.”

It seems like (Y/N) is calculating something in her head. Spencer knows exactly what she thinks about. “You can forget about your calorie intake for one night. I see how much time you invest in living healthy, but we can let loose for a night together. Just some noodles with chicken or spring rolls and us trying to use chopsticks and giving up after two minutes and resorting to forks. How does that sound?”

The teenager would love to sigh, but it would only alarm her father further. “Yeah, you are right. Let us let loose. But only if I can choose the movie we watch after dinner!” (Y/N) feels bad for eating unhealthy food again. Her last binge was only yesterday and usually she tries to consume lighter things. But she has to bite into the sour apple, else her father will be more suspicious. After all, she can just stop. (Y/N) promises herself to not think about her weight, her shape or the calories she will eat.

Well yeah, no. Just after the first noodle hits her tongue, intrusive thoughts take a seat in her mind, getting settled.

‘You already look like a potato.’

‘Are you sure this is the right thing to eat?’

‘Can you really stop?’

‘Dad is going to hate you when he finds out.’

All of them and more enter her head. (Y/N) is unable to shake them off. She is fine. She doesn’t have a problem. She just doesn’t feel like eating now, that’s fine, right?

“Uhm Dad. I’m full and really tired from the day. Is it ok if I go to bed? Maybe we can rain check on that movie?” The girl asks, feeling even worse for ditching her father. Usually it’s the other way around.

“Are you feeling ok? You look a little pale. Are you sick?” Spencer fires his question canone being the borderline helicopter father he always is. “Yes, just really exhausted from all the assignment and school work. A good night's rest and I will be good as new.” (Y/N) attempts a small smile, but fails miserably at it.

“Ok, sleep tight baby. I’ll put the leftovers in the fridge for you tomorrow.” Quickly she goes into her room. The thoughts in her head scream louder and louder with each step she takes. Can she really stop? Maybe she should come clean to her father.

‘And risking him hating you? Look at you, thinking you are sane is the only thing keeping him from abandoning you. How would you explain him keeping you otherwise? It’s definitely not for your looks.’

Later that night, (Y/N) hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep because of the voices, she makes her way back to the kitchen. In an attempt to distract herself, the teenager scrolled through her social media sites. There she was met by pictures of perfect people.

Perfect bodies. Perfect lives. Perfect smiles. Perfect family. Perfect friends. Everything about them is perfect.

And then there is her. Her body is unperfect. Her life is a mess. Her smile is not that of a model. Her family is just her, her father and the people he works with. Her friends aren’t always the best associates.

The stress of not feeling enough is getting to (Y/N)’s head. Like several times before that her body goes into auto. She doesn’t control her movements, though she tells herself all of this is willently.

Like so many times before the girl goes through the fridge and eats everything up she can get her fingers on. But this time one thing is different. Her father is at home. And he isn’t a heavy sleeper.

The movement in the kitchen wakes him up. Immediately his brain jumps to a burglar or even worse, an UnSub they once arrested coming after him. Quickly he gets his revolver and sneaks through the hallway to the source of the noises. As Spencer only sees his daughter sitting there, he instantly relaxes.

“Hey Sweetheart, what are you doing up? It’s a school night”, he softly asks in order to not scare her. Still, (Y/N) gets startled at the sudden voice.

“Uhm, nothing much. Just hungry. Probably because I didn’t eat dinner”, she explains, looking at her father like he caught her with her hand stuck in the cookie jar. Spencer watches her closely. “This is it? Because from what it looks like you not only ate your dinner but also tomorrow’s breakfast and right now lunch.”

(Y/N) swallows her bite, feeling that sinking reality in her stomach. The pills. She needs the pills fast before her body begins to digest the food. “Uhm, yeah. I probably should go to bed. I need my sleep. Just let me tidy up. Good night, Dad.” But he is quick to stop her.

“(Y/N), I want you to sit down. There is something we have to talk about.” Hesitantly (Y/N) takes a seat. “What is it Dad? Are you reprimanding me for eating? I thought you wanted me to let loose for a night.”

Spencer sits, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Baby, I want you to be alright. But I think you are not.” His eyes get a sad look. “I’m alright. I am fine, Dad. What do you think is wrong with me?”

“Look, (Y/N), I don’t need to be a profiler to see that you are struggling with something. Do you want to tell me about it?” Her answer is a tight lipped smile and a “I’m fine. There is nothing to talk about.”

The father sighs. She is not leaving him much of a choice. “And what about them?” Spencer asks after getting something from the highest shelf in the kitchen, the one (Y/N) barely reaches by stepping on a stool. He sets a little container down on the table.

“Dad I-” “No (Y/N). You don’t need to explain anything. It’s my turn to talk. I found those in your room yesterday while I was looking for a book. At first I thought nothing of it, I mean you are trying to live healthy, so I thought this is part of the process. But then I saw that they have to be prescribed and I know that these aren’t yours.

“I wanted to talk about it with you anyway. But now I know that I caught you binge eating and I see all the signs. I see them and I’m sorry for not acting sooner. (Y/N), you need help and I’m here for you. I know the last few months were especially hard on you. I can’t change what was and what happened, but I will be here for you now." Tears stream down on boths their faces.

(Y/N) is stammering for words. “I-I am fine. I can stop anytime I want. Th-this was a conscious d-decision.” Her father envelops her in a hug, cradling her head to his chest. She begins to sob.

“I know, Sweetheart. It’s hard and it won’t get easier from here on, but I’m here. You know you can’t stop, it’s only an illusion your eating disorder wants you to believe. But we get through it together. You, I and the team if you want to. We take it at your pace.” By now the two are crying loudly.

“I want it to stop, Dad. Please make the voice go away.”

He can’t make it go away. No one can. But Spencer helps to quiet it. Together they tackle the disorder, through the good and the bad times. He takes off from work for a time and (Y/N) out of school for a few weeks to be able to work on it together, to make the voice quieter and her life better.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

[isimpoveryou]

hi guysss. pls pls pls if anyone of you are from indonesia or anywhere i just want to urge you to read this article. i know if your not indo you are probably confused but this arcticle is about 3 kids probably 10 or younger who got SA by their own father and the mother is trying to report everything about what happen to their kids but the police but the police doesnt even believed it. SO PLS PLS HELP THIS BLOW OUT EVERYWHERE

english translation:

WARNING: This article contains explicit content that can trigger emotional and mental stress for readers. We recommend that you do not continue reading it. We recommend that this article be read by the Indonesian police.

if you wrote it,” he said, “what would change?”

“We rely on the police. We reported it. So what? The perpetrator is still free.”

Lydia reported the rape of her three children, all of whom were under 10 years old. The alleged perpetrators are her ex-husband, their own biological father, a state civil servant who has a position in a regional government office.

The police investigated his complaint, but the process was strongly suspected of being fraught with manipulation and conflict of interest. Only two months since he made the complaint, the police have stopped the investigation.

Not only did she not get justice, Lydia was even accused of having a vengeful motive for reporting her ex-husband. He was also attacked as a person with a mental disorder. This attack was allegedly used to delegitimize his report and any evidence he collected alone to support his quest for justice.

Lydia isn't her real name. A single mother, after a divorce, her three children came with her. They live in East Luwu, a border district in South Sulawesi, a 12-hour drive from Makassar City.

Even though she is divorced, her ex-husband still wants to be involved in co-parenting. Her ex-husband is free to pick up his three children when they come home from school and give him pocket money or toys.

The situation seemed normal until Lydia realized the hidden truth: While helping her daughter take a bath, she found several bruises on her son's thigh.

The child reasoned, the bruises were due to falling while playing catch. Lydia advised them to be careful. However, not only bruises, but the behavior of the children changed drastically, preferring to be silent, often hitting them. Lazy to eat. Frequent dizziness and vomiting.

On one night in early October 2019, while Lydia was washing the dishes, her youngest child screamed that her sister was complaining of vaginal pain. Lydia immediately approached her eldest child, hugged her from behind while rubbing her shoulders.

"Son, what did you say earlier?" said Lydia.

"No, Mamak," replied the eldest son.

He coaxed, “I love you so much. Too bad. If there is a problem, tell Mamak. I became a helper and protector ta. Don't you dare to cook with Mamak?"

"Say, son. If a child is sick, Mamak doesn't know. Does it hurt, kid?"

The eldest was silent for a long time. Then cry without tears. Lydia was shocked, panicked. The eldest, in a low voice as if choking, said: "Mamak... my father na anu pepe' . " Mamak, daddy did something to my pussy, he said.

Lydia cried, leaning on the back of the sofa, “Don't play games, kid. Don't play around."

"Yes, Mama. Yes."

He asked his two children, "Is this true, son?"

"Yes, Mama. I also had my butt crushed,” said his son.

"Me too Mamak," replied the youngest child.

She grabbed her three children, crying together. His head seemed to explode, wanting to scream. While trying to get up to go to the bathroom, to let go of tears, he fell. His legs felt bone loss.

The kids helped him inching his way. He slid over to the sofa. He raved. And began to realize when his children scolded, "Why ki, Mamak?"

He slowly released his emotions. Then examined the children, found wounds in the vagina and anus. On the night that seemed to go by slowly and long, he looked at his son sleeping. Confusion. Fatigue. He couldn't sleep until morning.

In the second week of October 2019, with her three children, Lydia went to the office of the Integrated Service Center for Women and Children Empowerment, East Luwu Social Service. In this unit, ideally, a person who complains of a violent case can get protection.

The Head of the Service Center Division, Firawati, received Lydia in a small partitioned room. Meanwhile, her three children are in the game facility in the unit. Lydia told Firawati about the chronology of her child's confession to being sexually abused by her own father. Firawati admitted that she knew the alleged perpetrator because she was "a fellow state civil servant."

Instead of prioritizing a safe room for Lydia and her three children, Firawati instead contacted the alleged perpetrator, reporting that there was a complaint regarding an alleged molestation case, so Lydia's ex-husband came to the Service Center office.

Firawati argued that the reason for bringing the alleged perpetrators together with the three children was to prove whether they were traumatized when they met their father. Firawati also argued that her actions were with Lydia's permission. "Right, fellow ASN. I want confirmation," he said.

"Do you know? All the children hunt to their father. Instead, his mother was abandoned. Even the children find it difficult to leave their father when called by their mother," said Firawati.

Lydia, when I repeated the claim of Firawati's story, listened to it and gaped.

“How could he talk like that? The first day I reported and asked for assistance to the police, but Firawati immediately called the [suspected] perpetrator when I came with the children,” said Lydia.

“After he called, he told me that I was teaching the children to slander the [suspected] perpetrator.”

"If I ever meet Firawati again, I want to see how she lies."

Not only were Lydia and her three children in a vulnerable situation when the alleged perpetrator came to them, her ex-husband immediately lashed out at Lydia for teaching her three children to complain, babbling that Lydia was incompetent to take care of the future of her three children.

The complaint provided no protection for Lydia, instead she was cornered, sent home to wait for further news.

The next day, Lydia and her three children were asked to come back to Firawati's office. From this process, the three children were psychologically examined by an officer from Puspaga, an acronym for the Family Learning Center, a work unit at the Integrated Service Center for the Empowerment of Women and Children. It was later discovered that the officer did not qualify as a child psychologist.

The examination resulted in a claim that Lydia's three children "showed no signs of trauma" and said "the relationship with the parents is quite considerate and harmonious" and that they are "in good physical and mental condition."

Firawati's act of bringing the three children together with their father--to check whether they were traumatized or not--and reinforced by a psychological examination that Lydia's children did not show any signs of trauma was later used by the East Luwu police to stop the investigation.

Handling at Polres Luwu Timur: 'I was forced by the police to sign the BAP'

Hoping to be accompanied by officers from the Integrated Service Center for the Empowerment of Women and Children, Lydia was finally alone when she reported the alleged sexual abuse case to the East Luwu Police. (Firawati from the Service Center reasoned that at that time she was in a meeting with the regional parliament, while other assistants were preparing to move their office.)

The police received Lydia's report on October 9, 2019. A female police officer took her three children to a health center for a post-mortem, without any assistance. Then, the three were questioned by uniformed investigators, without being accompanied by Lydia, legal counsel, social workers or psychologists.

Lydia was asked to sign the examination report (BAP) but was forbidden to read it first.

Five days later, the East Luwu Police notified the progress of the investigation results, reported that the report had been received and would be investigated by Aipda Kasman.

Lydia went to the police station to ask about the results of the post-mortem for her three children. At the same time, he also gave her a pair of pink panties that had blood on them on her own initiative.

On Friday, October 18, the police reported the results of the post-mortem from the Puskesmas and according to one investigator claimed “nothing was found.” On the same day, Lydia was interrogated by investigators without being accompanied by legal counsel.

“I was only asked about everyday problems. Then, the investigator said it would be continued. He will fill in the other part because he will pray Friday,” he said.

“I was asked to sign at the bottom of the report. I said I would sign later after this was continued. However, the investigators forced me. And I signed. Because it's noon and I want to go home to make food for the children."

"Well, I think now, I'm so stupid why I signed," said Lydia.

The following week, the East Luwu Police informed the development of the case; that investigators have interrogated Lydia, the alleged rapist, and three of the victim's children; have medically examined three child victims along with the results of visum et repertum; and the next plan is that the three children will be examined medically and psychologically at the South Sulawesi Police's Medical and Health Division (Biddokkes) in Makassar.

Victim's Mother's Mental Health Condition Used to Delegitimize Rape Reports

On October 28, one of Lydia's children complained of rectal pain. Lydia photographed some of the wounds. And, again on her own initiative on November 1, Lydia brought one pair of underwear with green liquid and one leggings with blood on it to the East Luwu Police.

A day later, police investigators contacted him if there would be an examination at the South Sulawesi Regional Police Biddokkes on November 6. At that time Lydia received threats from her ex-husband, the alleged rapist. The threat was that the alleged perpetrator would stop the monthly income for their three children if Lydia continued the examination process to Makassar.

Lydia with her three children, accompanied by one of her siblings, went to Bhayangkara Hospital Makassar. Here Lydia and her three children are taken to the waiting room of the mental clinic. His brother who brought him was also checked.

Inside the examination room were two doctors, an investigator, and a staff member of the East Luwu Women and Children Empowerment Center for Integrated Services.

During the examination of her three children, Lydia recorded secretly through a cellphone camera. His eldest child was seen on the lap of a Service Center staff who was sitting on a sofa. There was an investigator, a woman and a doctor in the examination room. The doctor then asked Lydia to leave the room.

During the examination of Lydia and her brother, they were asked about the family's mental health condition. Her brother was asked about Lydia's psychological condition since childhood and when she got married, did any family members have a history of mental disorders? When it was Lydia's turn, two doctors asked if they had any “disorders” before divorcing their ex-husband, as well as the condition of their household. The interview with Lydia only lasted 15 minutes.

The results of this psychiatric examination were published on November 11. Lydia is said to have "systematic delusional symptoms that suggest persistent delusional disorder."

On November 15, a physical examination letter for the three children was issued by the Forensic Biddokkes team of the South Sulawesi Police, which stated that there were no abnormalities or signs of physical violence against Lydia's three children.

The East Luwu Police then issued a letter notifying the progress of the investigation results on December 19. This letter refers to the investigation process and the trial on December 4. The letter contains the police's decision to stop the investigation process dated December 10, 2019, without any details on the consideration of termination.

"So the time span for reporting and stopping the investigation is only 63 days. This is very fast and we think it makes no sense. Moreover, this is a case of sexual violence where the victim is a child, why is the process rushed?” said Rezky Pratiwi, Head of the Division of Women, Children and Disabilities of the Makassar Legal Aid Institute.

Go to Makassar City to Get More Competent Access to Justice

At the end of December 2019, Lydia drove her own car with her three children from East Luwu to Makassar City. The journey took him 12 hours. This long and windy journey brought Lydia to the Makassar City Integrated Service Center for the Empowerment of Women and Children, where she hoped that justice would be granted to the victims.

Different from the handling in East Luwu, Lydia was given a referral to report her case to LBH Makassar. From here, LBH Makassar, through the Coalition for Legal Aid Advocacy for Sexual Violence against Children, became its legal advisor when the case was terminated by the East Luwu Police.

The Makassar City Service Center also provides psychological assistance to Lydia's three children. In his psychological report, through observation and interview methods, the three children “were not traumatized but were anxious” and all three of them consistently told and strengthened each other's stories of being sexually abused by their fathers.

Their story of being sexually assaulted, possibly more than one suspect, is consistent with what one victim told her mother when the investigation was being handled by the East Luwu Police. The victim's story is reinforced in the photos and videos that Lydia keeps, which depicts the physical abuse of her three children.

The police at the East Luwu Police and the South Sulawesi Police ignored the stories and evidence.

"At the Makassar City Service Center, child psychologists who examine children believe that sexual violence has occurred," said Rezky Pratiwi from LBH Makassar.

Pratiwi said that the East Luwu Police investigation process was "procedurally flawed" from the first post-mortem to the taking of information for each child.

Children should be accompanied by their parents as well as legal assistants, social workers or other assistants as mandated in Law 11 of 2012 concerning the Juvenile Criminal Justice System, he said.

"So the East Luwu resort police are very unprofessional," he said.

“The police are instead focusing on [Lydia's] mother, who is said to have other motives. The victim's mother was examined by a psychiatrist whose procedure was not proper. Information on children was not investigated and other witnesses were not examined to find new clues. For example, information from neighbors or people who know them,” said Pratiwi.

Polda Sulsel Supports Investigation Stopped

On December 26, 2019, LBH Makassar together with Lydia visited the South Sulawesi Regional Police and asked for a special case to stop the investigation at the East Luwu Police. Attached to the letter were photographs of the wounds to the anus and vagina of the three children.

Furthermore, on 10 and 13 February 2020, the legal team sent a letter to file a case, but there was no response. On February 19, the Head of Public Relations of the South Sulawesi Police, Kombes Pol. Ibrahim Tompo, even told the media that they had "conducted an internal case" and that the termination of the investigation was legal and according to procedure.

Then, on March 5, the South Sulawesi Police team informed LBH Makassar that a special case would be held on March 6, at 13.00, at the Polda office.

The sudden news made the legal advisors completely unprepared.

"The time is very short for preparation," said Rezky Pratiwi from LBH Makassar. "The child psychologist who accompanied the victim from the start was unable to attend because of the clash of activities."

On April 14, the results of the case study stated that the South Sulawesi Regional Police recommended that the East Luwu Resort Police continue to stop the investigation process into the sexual abuse report.

Urge Police Headquarters to Continue Investigation

On the second floor of the East Luwu Police Office, connected by a ladder, there is a room where Aipda Kasman, the investigator who handles the case of Lydia's children, works. Kasman boasts of his work, “We have done a post-mortem to forensics. Until there are results from his mother's psychiatrist."

"Can I read the copy?" ask me.

"I can't convey that because that's what we're holding," he smirks.

The so-called psychiatrist's results from the Bhayangkara Makassar Hospital, which are kept secret, are apparently considered "truth" by many people in East Luwu. That his mother is "crazy", is not a case of alleged rape that people talk about and remember. "We know about the case, but it's her crazy mother," one resident told me. "That's why the case is not continued."

During the interview session with Kasman, the investigator immediately sat nervously when I handed him the tape. He wanted to speak more openly after being allowed by his superior, East Luwu Criminal Investigation Unit Head, Iptu Eli Kendek.

“If it is stated that we are maladministration or administrative defects, that is the perception of LBH Makassar. But we still adhere to professional principles. We act according to the rules, according to the law,” he started the excuse.

"We have also clarified to all institutions that LBH Makassar has written to," he claimed.

LBH Makassar has sent a letter of complaint to a number of institutions in July 2020, including the National Police Commissioner, the Ombudsman, the Head of the South Sulawesi Women's Empowerment and Child Protection Service, the Luwu Regent, the Director of General Crimes at the National Police Headquarters Criminal Investigation Unit, and Komnas Perempuan.

To these institutions, Kasman claims, the East Luwu Police have clarified and "everything is safe."

Komnas Perempuan, in a letter of recommendation sent to Police Headquarters, Polda Sulsel, and Polres Luwu Timur, dated 22 September 2020, instead asked to resume the investigation of the criminal case.

The process, Komnas Perempuan wrote, "must fully involve parents, legal counsel, and social assistance for victims, provide safe house facilities, counseling, and other special facilities for women." Next, "The police need to coordinate with the Makassar City Women's Empowerment and Child Protection Service to facilitate these special needs."

This recommendation was precisely what the East Luwu Police did not do when handling complaints about the molestation case against Lydia's three children.

According to Rezky Pratiwi from LBH Makassar, the police and the East Luwu Service Center took sides with the alleged perpetrator. “If there is a child's testimony, it should start from there. First, dig up the supporting evidence.”

"It looks very biased. In other cases of sexual violence that we assist, the police are usually silenced. If this is the case, an administrative termination will be made.”

On one cold morning ride, Lydia sped off. Past the bend, overtook some trucks. Since the incident of sexual violence against her children, she has left her future home and preparation for old age.

He wanted to sell the house because he wanted to burn the bad memories. His children didn't want to see the house. The children refused and cried when Lydia asked to visit the house.

Lydia, gave me access to watch several videos on her cellphone that showed traces of the alleged violence of the alleged rapist. Some of the footage shows the injuries on the bodies of the children which made it difficult for me to see them through.

A few weeks after the abuse, her children complained of pain. At a puskesmas in East Luwu, Lydia asked for a referral letter to take her children to a hospital.

In the letter of reference was written a diagnosis of internal thrombosed hemorrhoids + child abuse. Damage to the anus due to forced intercourse.

Other diagnoses of abdominal and pelvic pain. Damage to the vaginal organs due to rape.

The next diagnosis is vaginitis or inflammation of the vagina and constipation or difficult bowel movements.

At the referral hospital, the children demonstrated what their father did after the doctor asked what caused the injuries to the anus and vagina.

The initial diagnosis, photo documentation and video recordings, as well as the results of the examination to the hospital were ignored by East Luwu Police investigators. The police did not take these violent findings seriously.

"If the police post-mortem results say that there were no injuries and nothing happened," said Lydia, "why did the police refuse when I wanted to give this photo and video? They said just keep it, there's no need for that."

“Then how come my child's buttocks and vagina are injured until they are swollen white like white flesh?

“Why do my children cry in pain every time they want to urinate and defecate? Why do my children say their father is a bad person and don't want to see him again now?”

“If the perpetrator is indeed innocent, why doesn't he come looking for his son, asking for clarification from the children?

"If people say this is slander, why are the children slandering their father like that?"

“If that question is not answered, will the police help find the answer?

No, right.*

[ghostiewriter]

ok ik ur FLOODED with concept requests but pls pls even like a sentence of that anons ask about dean researching adhd and getting freaked out and his parents calming him down is ALL i need

HERE YOU GO, ITS NOT BEEN EDITED BUT OH WELL🤡

Dean wasn’t the kind of guy who would do the research in a school project.

He was the guy goofing around until the last minute.

He was the guy adding extra touches just to say he did something.

He was the guy presenting the project because he was just a natural performer.

Dean Di Laurentis was just not the kind of guy to go out of his way on something, he was a ‘go with the flow’ and ‘take whatever life throws at you’ kind of guy. He was relaxed and easy-going and he was just never the type to get overly worked up on something.

Until it came to Summer.

He had always been protective of Summer since anyone in the family could remember. He took his role as the big brother very seriously and often it was easier to just let Dean be his over-bearing self than to try and tell him to chill out. Lori and Peter learned that the hard way.

And it didn’t stop when she had been diagnosed with ADHD.

Dean had no idea what it was when his parents told himself and Nick, explaining to them that they must not let Summer feel different or bad because her mind words differently than they do. His lack of knowledge on it only stressed him out, his body buzzing to know what it was and how he could protect Summer from it.

Obviously, he came to realise it wasn’t something she necessarily needed protection from.

It was late at night, Dean had huddled over his laptop as he read article after article, watched video after video on just what ADHD was and how he could help Summer. But then the articles let to studies which led him down a spiral of just how extreme ADHD can be, how easily it can be misunderstood as something basic and harmless.

It was how Dean quickly found his heart thumping wildly in his chest, his palms sweating and his eyes pooling with tears as he read horror story after horror story. His breathing quickened and soon he was slamming his laptop shut and rushing out the room. The world blurring around him but all he could focus on was getting to one destination.

Lori and Peter barely had time to comprehend what was going on when Dean stormed into their room at one in the morning, tears streaming down his face and incoherent babbles escaping his lips.

Peter quickly got out of bed, turning the light on and shutting the door so Dean’s cries wouldn’t wake up Summer or Nick. Lori took her crying son into her arms, gently rubbing up and down his back until he had calmed down enough into soft sniffles.

“Honey, breathe,” Lori whispered, giving her husband a worried look as he settled down beside them. “That’s it.”

“I don’t want it to happen to Summer, mama.” Dean whimpered out, eyes clenched shut as he tried to stop his heavy pants.

“What, sweetheart?”

The next few minutes were a mix between cries and sobs. Mumbles and babbles of ‘anxiety’ and ‘eating disorders’ and ‘depression’ mixed with so many other words, so many worries and concerns and cries of the horror stories he had read.

It took Peter and Lori five minutes to calm him down again.

“Dean, everything is fine, you hear me?” Peter murmured, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Nothing is going to happen to Summer.”

He sniffled. “But the article—”

“Dean, it was one article. And it was in extreme cases.” Lori whispered to him, kissing the top of his head. “We can help Summer by being a strong support system, that’s how we have always done it, right?”

Dean nodded.

“I know you’re worried about your sister but you can’t keep scaring yourself like that.” Peter murmured softly.

“I just wanna help her.” Dean murmured shyly, looking down at the carpet but it didn’t stop both parents bringing him into a hug.

“I know, baby, I know.” Lori murmured. “Just promise me you won’t go researching worst case scenarios, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good, now go to bed. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

Dean nodded, giving his parents a small wave goodnight before disappearing down the hall. Except he found himself at Summer’s room, knocking on the door until she mumbled for him to come in and he gave her a sheepish smile.

“Can I sleep here tonight?”

She frowned. “Bad dream?”

“Yeah something like that.” He murmured as he settled down on the carpet beside her bed, his duvet from his room settled on top of him. But minutes into the darkness, he spoke again.

“You know I’m always here for you, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Good…because I mean it.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, loser.”

“Hey!”

And with that, Dean fell asleep with a smile on his face.

[c-ptsdrecovery]

Informational Masterpost

Here are the links for my informational posts on abuse, Complex PTSD, and associated subjects:

Recognizing and understanding abuse:

Childhood/emotional trauma:

Signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect

Things people with CEN often say

How immature parents emotionally neglect their kids

How childhood trauma can manifest

Healthy parenting practices

Parental criticism and self-worth

‘Dismantling the lies your parents told you’ masterpost

What is emotional abuse?

(For more, please see @furiousgoldfish​‘s Recognizing Abuse Masterlist )

Gaslighting:

What is gaslighting?

A sign of gaslighting

More signs you are being gaslit

Gaslighting children

Signs your parents are gaslighting you

Were you born under the gaslight?

People with disabilities: what gaslighting can sound like

Unhealthy relationships:

A list of your rights as a person

Signs of unhealthy boundaries

Signs of codependent behavior

Telling good friends from bad 

 Quiz: Is your family dysfunctional? (Take this with salt)

How dysfunctional families resemble a cult

Resources for male victims of abuse 

How to disappear online (If you need to stop a stalker or abuser from having online access to you)

Narcissistic abuse:

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

All about covert narcissists

The narcissistic abuse cycle

Do narcissists believe their own lies?

Do narcissists experience shame?

What if narcissists can’t help it?

Complex PTSD

Recognizing and understanding C-PTSD

Recognizing Complex PTSD

Symptoms and diagnostic criteria of C-PTSD in children and adults

Symptoms of Complex PTSD

What are emotional flashbacks?

Developmental Trauma

Trauma and the brain

Things I didn’t realize were complex trauma symptoms

Emotional neglect in C-PTSD

Book recommendations for C-PTSD

Free collection of PDFs of books on trauma and dissociation

A comic on how C-PTSD/emotional flashbacks form

Amygdala hijackings

Fight, flight, freeze, fawn: common trauma responses

Overlapping symptoms between PTSD, ADHD, autism, anxiety, and depression

More symptoms of C-PTSD and related conditions

“Fawning” and People-pleasing

Article on “fawning” and people-pleasing

People-pleasing and chronic illness

Link between abuse and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Perfectionism attacks

Why we self-isolate

Skin hunger

Creative slump?

Creative hibernation

Can’t seem to read books anymore?

Feeling hungry when you don’t actually need to eat

Forms of self-harm besides cutting

Building healthy relationships

Recognizing an unhealthy environment

How to ignore someone you live with

Grey Rock technique for dealing with narcissists and other abusers

Coping during the holidays

Scripts for setting boundaries with your family

Boundaries

Tips for setting boundaries

Setting boundaries by moving yourself

Empath with boundaries

How to respond to a gaslighter

Unconditional love: how to give it, and know if it’s healthy

Being “Sad enough” doesn’t help: how to get other people to care that you’re upset

Upsetting yourself as a cry for help

Symptom management

Getting help

Questions to ask before giving up

Mental health pain scale

App for avoiding self-harm

Emotional Flashback Management

How to interview potential therapists

Finding a trauma therapist

What to look for in a trauma therapist

How to tell if you have a good trauma therapist

Finding a therapist for DID/OSDD

How to know a therapist isn’t right for you

What is EMDR?

On hearing voices

Cognitive approaches

Depressive logical mistakes

When should you listen to your instincts?

Counting your blessings

Overcoming learned helplessness and boosting optimism

Cultivating positivity and a sense of safety

Laziness does not exist

Day-tight compartments (for anxiety)

Emotional/Somatic approaches

The healthy mood spectrum

Grieving instead of rationalizing

Listening to the body

Recognizing and validating your emotions

How to feel your feelings

Mindfulness 101

Accepting your feelings

Grounding techniques

More grounding techniques

Deep-breathing resources

EFT tapping 

Self-care approaches

Self-soothing thoughts

Website to help you figure out why you feel bad and what to do about it

Book recommendation: Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff 

Self-care suggestions

A beginner’s guide to intuitive eating

Nine types of rest

Relaxing music recommendations

Little things to improve your mood

Suggestions for insomnia

House-cleaning groups

Recovery

Basic stages of trauma recovery

Uncomfortable feelings that indicate you’re on the right path 

Post-traumatic growth

 Defining forgiveness (Reminder: forgiveness is always optional)

Imagining forgiveness

Book Recommendations

Book Recommendations

[apollodrome]

1- the logical thinking indicates that the most probably option is usually the correct option, for example, if a man has lung cancer the most likely option is that is lung cancer is related to his tabaquism, the same aplly on this case, if a person with morbid obesity has some kind of circulation problem then the most likely option is that is related to the weight of that person, now about your question, if you wanna know how morbid obesity relates to health problems then my answer is

2 - read a goddanm biology book (or just google it), the answer is right there, you dont need to ask a random person on the internet about that, and guess what, you cannot put links into asks so im unable to give you the link to any kind of article explaining that, if you wanna know the corelation then just search morbid obesity on wikipedia.

---

This ask is about this post where a woman's health issues are blamed by doctors on her weight, so she loses the weight, and when doctors see that her health issues have not gotten better, but have gotten worse, they order tests that they should have ordered months ago.

I think you misunderstand the point of the post. Let's take the obesity out of this. A woman goes to the doctor for severe cramps, sleepiness during the day, memory and balance problems. Doctors refuse to treat her. That's all there is to this issue - a woman has gone to a medical professional with a set of symptoms, and the medical professional did not test her for the conditions that have the above symptoms.

You give me an example in your ask of smokers having an increased risk of lung cancer, so let's apply this analogy here. A smoker goes to the doctor and says, "doctor, I have difficulty breathing, a painful cough that doesn't go away for months, I lost 50 pounds in less than a month, pain in my hands, fingers and chest." These are very common symptoms of lung cancer. So, what you're advocating for, is that the doctor should refuse to order any tests for the patient, tell them to stop smoking, and send them on their way. We know that some health risks are associated with obesity, in the same way that lung cancer is associated with smoking, so should we not be testing those people for those diseases more often?

People whose father has died of heart disease are at more risk of heart disease, so we test those people for heart disease when they mention they have symptoms. People whose family has ADHD are more at risk of having ADHD, so we test those people for ADHD when they mention they have symptoms. Why is obesity any different? If a disease has already developed, losing weight will do nothing except for decrease that initial risk, but it's past that already if they HAVE THE DISEASE. They have to be treated for the disease. Thin people can get heart attacks, and non smokers can get lung cancer or develop asthma, so why do those people go to the doctor with those symptoms and get tested, and obese people don't?

In some of your replies on that post, you have used this Wikipedia page as your source. On the same page, it says,

"While a majority of obese individuals at any given time are attempting to lose weight and often successful, research shows that maintaining that weight loss over the long term proves to be rare." (Wikipedia includes a reference for this, I've linked it here).

I am using the same research you are using to argue my point. If an obese individual walks into a doctor's office with symptoms of a heart condition, and is told to lose weight, they are basically sentenced to death. As we can see above, long term weight loss may lead to more health risks, and is actually very rare in most people (less than 1 in 100 obese people manage to lose the weight and stay at the new weight), and so if a doctor tells an obese person not to come back until she has lost all of the weight, she may actually die before she comes back to the doctor.

Obesity is an issue, and does increase the risks of some conditions. However, according to the same Wikipedia article you and I have both been using,

"obesity has individual, socioeconomic, and environmental causes, including diet, physical activity, automation, urbanization, genetic susceptibility, medications, mental disorders, economic policies, endocrine disorders, and exposure to endocrine-disrupting chemicals."

I don't want to assume you're enough of a heartless monster to say "obese people brought this on themselves and therefore deserve to suffer and die due to medical malpractice" as a response to my above point, but JUST IN CASE YOU WERE, that's a whole lot of people you're condemning. You're condemning children who grow up in poverty and whose parents can only afford McDonald's (cheaper than vegetables in the USA), you're condemning my uncle, who had a deadly thyroid issue that wasn't treated in time (he grew up in Soviet Russia) and messed up his metabolism so bad he currently exercises for 3 hours a day but is still extremely overweight. You're condemning people with pcos, people with hyperthyroidism, people with eating disorders and depression. All of those people, in your opinion, do not deserve medical treatment.

With what we now know, let's summarise.

Fact 1: people who are obese have a higher risk of developing certain disorders, in the same way that someone with a family history of heart problems may develop heart problems, however, no disease is directly CAUSED by obesity and obesity alone. If that were the case, thin people wouldn't get those diseases at all, but I know many thin people with narcolepsy, cancers, and heart issues.

Fact 2: obesity can be caused by many factors, not just eating a lot of junk food. I've already mentioned hyperthyroidism, eating disorders, pcos, and poverty as some of those factors, but there are more. A lot of those factors are not the fault of the obese individual. We also know that once someone is already obese, keeping off weight that they lose is extremely difficult and takes a long time.

Fact 3: when a smoker goes to the doctor with symptoms of lung cancer, they are told to stop smoking, but they are also SCREENED FOR LUNG CANCER and TREATED IF THERE IS LUNG CANCER PRESENT.

Fact 4: according to the woman in the original post, she went to the doctor with symptoms of narcolepsy and other issues, was told to lose weight, BUT WAS NOT TESTED FOR THE DISEASES SHE IS AT RISK FOR, OR TREATED.

Do you see my point now? Yes, obesity is linked to diseases, but that should mean that people who are obese are screened and treated MORE OFTEN, not less or god forbid not treated at all. Preventing obesity by exercising and eating well is something we should definitely do ON A GLOBAL SCALE (better mental health help for people with depression/eating disorders, cheaper vegetables for people in poverty, more education, less fast food places), to decrease our risk of the diseases that obesity is associated with increasing the risk for (type two diabetes, sleep apnea, narcolepsy, certain cancers), but if someone is already obese, weight loss is no longer a cure, and actual treatment needs to be administered. Weight loss was never a cure, it is a PREVENTATIVE MEASURE, and not even a good one according to the evidence I've provided above. Healthy eating and exercise are good preventative measures, but they do not always contribute to weight loss. So why do doctors prescribe weight loss in the form of pills and calorie restriction, rather than eating HEALTHY and exercising? ALSO, if weight loss was a cure, non-obese cancer patients, non-obese people with narcolepsy, and non-obese people with eating disorders would also be told to lose weight rather than given treatment. So why is weight loss the ONLY treatment doctors give obese people? Obesity is much more complicated than a person just eating a lot of junk and getting fat, that's not how it works.

You know how we "eliminate the most probable option"? WE TEST THE PATIENT FOR IT, AND IF THE TEST COMES BACK NEGATIVE WE ELIMINATE THE OPTION. Why was the woman in the post not tested, and why do you advocate for this? Why do you think a group of people deserves medical attention less than others?

Here's another analogy. Wearing a mask and staying six feet away from others is a PREVENTATIVE MEASURE for covid. When a person already has covid, they are not told to wear a mask and stay six feet away from others. They are put in a hospital and treated. What you are advocating for is akin to sending a person with covid symptoms away with a mask, and not treating them at all.

To summarise: correlation is not causation, all people deserve medical help (people who are turned away from doctors a LOT are women, people of colour, and fat people. Medical discrimination needs to be eradicated in all of those cases) and you are in no position to decide who deserves to be treated and who doesn't.

I'm not overweight myself. I just care about people receiving the medical treatment they need and deserve, regardless of what they look like or what other conditions they already may have. I recommend really looking at yourself and examining the biases you have against fat folks, and figuring out how to become better as a person. You seem to enjoy giving unsolicited medical advice, so here's some from me: stop being a dick.

[simplyclockwork]

Hello! I’ve read several of your fics and they’re absolutely lovely. I was wondering if you could do a prompt I saw some time ago but never found a fic for? Johnlock, where Sherlock has to hide a disability from John or vice versa? No NSFW please, and thank you!

---

Hi anon! Thanks so much for your patience, I’ve finally filled this prompt. You can read it below the page break or on Ao3 here.

I chose to write Sherlock as having ADHD because I read him that way, and I have ADHD-C as well. I felt it was a perspective I could write from experience. I hope that’s alright. 

My writing Sherlock as having ADHD isn’t meant to disagree with anyone who reads him differently. I know many people read him as being on the Autism Spectrum, and this is not intended to discredit that perspective. 

Thanks again for the prompt and feel free to send more anytime! 

---

Just as he does each morning, Sherlock rolls out of bed and digs into his bedside table for the bottle of pills stuffed beneath the various detritus filling the drawer. He shakes one tablet out into his palm, pops it into his mouth, and pads into the bathroom for a mouthful of water. 

Every morning, he does this. Wakes early, takes his medication, and lies back in bed until it kicks in. When he’s on a case and forgoes sleep, he swallows the pill before ducking into the shower. Or using the loo. Whatever will take him out of the room for at least long enough for his body to begin absorbing the medication. 

Living with ADHD has been more complicated, but it has also been easier. Before John, Sherlock never bothered to try and keep a regular schedule. He denied himself sleep and care, food and hygiene, and let his hyperfixations carry him through the day. 

But things are different now. Now, there is John, and there is some kind of structure in Sherlock’s life (even if it is a structure that he forgoes at any opportunity). Sherlock does his best to follow it.

It’s not always easy. Sometimes, the day gets away from him. Sometimes, he blinks and realizes he’s spent the entire night bent over a stack of case files. Sometimes, he forgets to eat for two days straight, and John has to force food upon him. Despite the days where he fails to follow routine, Sherlock feels, largely, that he’s developed adequate coping mechanisms. Many things aren’t as hard as they once were, and Sherlock is content. Or close to. 

Still, he hides his diagnosis. John is a kind man and a doctor, and many might say he would understand. But Sherlock has been burned before, many of those times by doctors who didn’t really understand. 

He doesn’t wish to be burned again, certainly not by John. John is his friend, the closest thing he’s had to anything of the sort, and Sherlock hates that he can’t be sure John won’t be like the others. He hates and fears that possibility, the uncertainty eating away at him. 

What it comes down to is privacy. It’s no one’s business but his own if Sherlock takes a pill in the morning just so he can focus. If he has to arrange his room just so to sleep, that’s for him to accept and him alone. If his head sometimes becomes so loud, rushing too fast for him to keep up with rational thought, that he can hardly think, nevermind function, then that is Sherlock’s cross to bear.

So, when he blurts his diagnosis out to John over breakfast, no one is as surprised by it as Sherlock. 

“I have Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder,” he says. “ADHD-Combined, to be perfectly accurate.” The announcement seems like a great idea until immediately after it leaves his mouth. Sherlock begins to feel the dragging weight of regret pressing him down into hs his chair. He’s done this several times before, and never once has it gone the way he'd hoped. 

He braces himself for the inevitable. 

John raises his eyes from the newspaper open before him, meeting Sherlock’s horrified gaze. He blinks slowly and just once. Then, with a slight smile, he says, “Thanks for telling me.” 

Sherlock stares, still mortified, now a little bemused. He frowns. “You’re… welcome?” Biting his bottom lip, he drops his eyes to the table, still wearing that same frown. “It doesn’t bother you?” 

Now it’s John’s turn to look bemused. Setting the paper aside, he tilts his head and studies Sherlock’s downturned face. “Of course not.” His brow furrows. “Did you think it would?”

“It bothers most people,” Sherlock says. He thinks of his parents and all the classes they took to ‘learn how to best deal with him.’ He thinks of his brother, asking why he could never just sit still, Sherlock! He’s sure they meant well or that they believed they’d done their best. Everyone seemed to think they meant well. But every clumsy attempt to relate, every half-arsed gesture toward minimizing his diagnosis, has made Sherlock wary of people who say they understand. In his experience, it’s usually just lip-service. 

Sherlock waits to see what John’s lip-service will sound like. 

But John, it seems, is full of surprises. He simply taps a finger to the table, shrugs, and says, “Well, it doesn’t bother me.” He picks up the newspaper again, adding, “My cousin’s daughter has ADHD.” The way he says it is casual, with no ulterior motive present that Sherlock can see. “She’s fourteen now. Really into bees. Cool kid.” 

Sherlock swallows. When he speaks, his voice sounds far smaller than intended. “I like bees,” he whispers.

John smiles at him over the newspaper. “Yeah?” His eyes are warm. “Maybe you can recommend some reading for her. My cousin said she’s already burned through most of what their local library has available.” 

“Maybe,” Sherlock replies. His voice is a little louder, less tentative. He sits up a little straighter in his chair.

John, still with his small smile, refocuses on the article he’s reading. “Fantastic,” he says. Then, “By the way, your latest mould experiment.” John flicks the corner of the newspaper back and narrows his eyes. “Stop leaving it under my bed.”

Pushing his lower lip out in a pout, Sherlock scoffs, “Your room is the optimal temperature for the rate of spore growth required to achieve the level of—”

“Not under my bed,” John interrupts firmly. “I’ll toss it out the window next time. I swear I will.”

Sherlock huffs but nods and admits defeat. “Fine,” he mutters, petulant. 

“Thank you.” 

Just like that, John goes back to reading his paper, and Sherlock takes up poking at his eggs. Just like that, Sherlock’s world goes from rocked to steady.  

[lilytaylcr]

BREAKING NEWS! ((LILIANA TAYLOR))who looks an awful lot like ((KRISTINE FROSETH)) has just been seen around Nuntium House. Apparently ((SHE)) is ((25)) years old and have been in the New York City for ((THREE MONTHS)). They work as a ((MODEL)) at ((VARIOUS)). If they had an article byline it would read ((REBELLING AGAINST PARENTS NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD)) - but we have yet to make up our mind if that is accurate. ((Clem / 22 / CST / She/her)

STATS || HEADCANONS || CONNECTIONS

TW: EATING DISORDER MENTION, BODY DYSMORPHIA, CHEATING, TOXIC FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS, MANIPULATION MENTIONS  

early history:

On January 21, 1996, Liliana Frøya Taylor was born to Mørthen Valen and Claire Taylor. She had a blissful, privileged, easy early childhood, and from her first day, it was clear that girl was spoilt rotten.  She was the couple’s perfect baby girl and could do absolutely nothing wrong.  She was the couple’s sole daughter and their little princess.  So, she was to be treated as such.  She knew she had her father wrapped around her finger, and she used it to her advantage. She could ask for something, and not even two hours later, there it would be. She spent her childhood ordering those around her to do what she wanted to do and if they told her no, they were in for it.  She would throw temper tantrums and scream until she got what she wanted.  No has never been a word that the girl understood.

late childhood:

The once loving family quickly went up in flames. It started when her younger half-brother came into the family’s picture. Her dad had a son which Lily wasn’t particularly thrilled about. It took the attention away from her which she hated. She didn’t want to share her dad with anyone but it was the first time she hadn’t gotten her way. Her brother was in her life whether she liked it or not. So, she tolerated him in front of her father but ignored him otherwise. At age Thirteen, her parents went through a divorce, and her mother won custody of the young girl. Her mother wanted all ties to be severed with the man. So, she had Lily’s last name changed and moved them to Los Angeles. Her mother loved to hold control and made sure her mother made sure to paint Morthen as a father who did not care. Some of the words she would speak about the man would be true and some weren’t. Though they were believable to Liliana. In the young teen’s eyes, her father was the reason she had to start her entire life right before high school. She hated the surface-level conversations she would be forced to have with him.

As time continued Liliana hoped her father would realize that she was just angry and try and reach out, but he never did. This left the girl destroyed on the inside, but she would never tell anyone.  Even from a young age, she was far too proud to admit someone had hurt her.  The sadness turned to anger towards her father. She stayed angry at her father and showed him her vengeful side.

During this time,  Lily had matured. She no longer relied on tantrums to achieve what she wanted; instead, she focused on her skills of manipulation and deceitfulness. She made her way through high school, where she was effectively the queen bee.  She knew how to handle herself and the others around her to make her stay on top of the social pyramid.  She was too smart for her own good and could think about two steps ahead.  She prided herself on not allowing anyone to dethrone her. 

With the help of her mother she entered into the modeling world, and Lily was a natural. Her mother controlled every aspect of her life. Liliana needed to be perfect at all times. Perfect grades, perfect clothes, perfect makeup, perfect hair, perfect friends. Her mother had raised her to be a mini-version of herself. If things were astray it would lead to comments such as “you are just like your father. i work so hard for you but you don’t care.“ The comments she would hear broke her because deep down all she wanted to do was make her parents proud of the person she was becoming. As the comment continued to come Lilly developed an unhealthy relationship food and body dysmorphia. She wanted to look perfect but couldn’t help but find every flaw both real and imaginary. She never brought up how she was feeling to anyone because she needed to keep up her image of her self-confidence and confronting the issues made her feel weak and vulnerable. 

current:

She had recently graduated with a bachelor’s in business management from UCLA when she decided she could no longer take expectations of her mother. She needed to get and move somewhere new. After much debate, it was settled that Liliana would be moving to New York City without her mother. She explained to her mother that she just wanted to go because of the modeling opportunities that were only available in New York.  She had been successful in LA with modeling, and she wanted to continue climbing the ladder, so it seemed believable. But, the truth was Lily was unable to tell why she decided to go back to the place she was born. She could’ve chosen any city.  It was true she wanted to climb the ladder in the modeling world, but she knew that wasn’t the whole reason.  She left her father out of the decision of moving back and figured she would run into him sooner or later. She honestly didn’t care what he thought of the idea and she had always been partial to the dramatic entrance. On top of that, she wasn’t going to be the one to call first. She refused. She was still angry that she was left behind while her brother got their dad’s attention that she craved growing up. So, she decided she would make her move a surprise of sorts. One that would force him to talk to her once again.

Whatever the reason was, Liliana Taylor is back in NYC, ready to see where this chapter takes her.

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

Tw ED mention, abuse

Me and my younger brother stopped going to my abusive mother's house back in april (my parents had joint custody) and while i completely cut contact, my brother still visits her every now and then. Growing up she pushed a lot of body issues on us and physically, verbally, and emotionally abused us. Now that i am an adult and away from her, I'm aware enough that she has struggled with eating disorders much of her life and likely has ptsd from her own childhood. I believe that does not excuse her actions, as i likely have ptsd and issues as well from several of her actions and never really had a connection to her. She might have gave birth to me, but she was never my mom. My brother, on the other hand, takes a lot of what she says seriously and i have suspicions that he has developed some more food oriented body issues and hasn't been eating very much recently. I've come to work with several of my body issues, including being transgender and having a complicated relationship with food myself, but i have sternly kept against myself developing an eating disorder. He trusted her far more than I did and is far more susceptible to listening to her negative advice.

How do i, for lack of better words, tell if my kid brother has possibly developed an ED and how i can i help him if he does?

Hey anon,

That sounds like an awful environment to grow up in, and I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I'm glad you're in a position where you've been able to work on your own body issues, that's no easy task and that must've taken a lot of strength and compassion on your part

It can often be difficult to spot ED warnings from an outside perspective because of the nature of the disorders. This will especially be true if he feels like there's a lot of pressure to hide it, or like someone would be angry with him or try to stop it. An eating disorder is by nature competitive and secretive, and the most important thing I think you should know is that if your brother tries to push you away or hide the disorder from you, it is no reflection of you or your efforts. The best thing that can be done to help him is kindness and compassion, being someone he can rely on and talk things through with but not someone that's pushing/pressuring him to heal when he's not yet ready or trying to fix him

Having said that, I think you should try to communicate with him openly. I think it would be best to ask him about his relationship with food in an environment where he feels safe and comfortable, however this looks for him. I would also advise against asking him if he has an eating disorder outright - it can be a scary concept to come to terms with and its likely if he does have an eating disorder he won't feel "sick enough" to say he does. Here are some diagnostic checklists compiled from the DSM in a way that's more easy to understand and quantify (Anorexia, Bulimia, ARFID). These are not the only eating disorders out there, however, so further research on not only these but eating disorders as a collective would be beneficial. I do not recommend armchair diagnosing, but I believe they could be a good starting place when working out what questions to ask him, as well as giving you a better understanding of the mentality behind eating disorders and could potentially be useful for him if he does have an eating disorder and wishes to understand it better/look for a diagnosis

While these signs are not universal, and eating disorders will manifest differently across people and situations, here are some actions to be looking out for: finding excuses to not eat with/around other people, chronic over eating and/or under eating, body checking (excessively looking in mirrors, weighing, physically checking the body such as fingers around a wrist or feeling for bones), hoarding/hiding food, excessively reading food packets, cutting out food groups, fluctuations in weight, loss of energy, continuously going to the bathroom during or after meals, excessive interest in exercise, expressing discomfort relating to food, binge eating, dividing food into small pieces/playing with food. Please remember these are only some of the visible outward signs

Going forward, I think it would be important for you to research eating disorders. It's a very complicated situation to be in, and if you want to be there to support him, it's important you have a good baseline understanding of what is happening and why. Please remember that you are allowed to have boundaries, and I would suggest encouraging him to see a therapist, though this is not always easy or possible. Here is an article that discusses potential ways to help a loved one with an eating disorder and to help them seek professional help. First and foremost, I think the most important thing is to show him you care, as you clearly do, and show him you're someone he's safe to not be ok around

I wish you all the best

- Mod Kieran

[duckling-with-a-hat]

ok, so, completely randomly i was reading up about how school causes depression and anxiety in kids and teenagers, and I found this article (i’ll link it below), and at first I was like,

“oh, wow! Cool! It seems like they’re actually gonna explain why the school system works so horribly!”

And then, not even done with the summary, it says;

“In order to counteract adolescent depression in schools and the resulting stigma, teens and parents need to be educated about mental health. Thus, they will be better equipped to help others, offer support, and even save lives.” 

.... 

And, while this is true, it totally ignores the fact that the schools are causing these problems in the first place. 

It’s not the kid’s or parent’s fault that school is making them depressed. 

ITS THE SCHOOL’S FAULT

And it gets worse throughout the article, blaming kid’s cellphones and being “too protected” as reasons why they’re experiencing problems in school. While the article does list some reasons that could contribute to a teenager’s depression, it completely ignores the pressure put on the kids by the schools and parents. 

The article even mentions that 50% of teens feel like they’re addicted to their smartphones, without acknowledging the fact that most teens use their cellphones as ways of socialization, or even using them as coping mechanisms. Then, not even a paragraph later, the article says;

“Ultimately, the focus on screens and social media causes damage to relationships, education, and extracurricular activities. Thus, it can contribute to teen depression, as well as ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, and anxiety.”

Again, let me remind you what this article was supposed to be about; 

“adolescent depression in schools”

keywords; in schools

The article basically then goes on to blame it all on cellphones, peer pressure, and bullying. 

(this is turning into a rant, sorry)

They mention a project where a group of adults, posing as teens, went undercover in a highschool to learn what it’s like to be a teenager. And while I think this is a start to understanding teens, they only collected information about the social pressures of the highschool community. They also mentioned how the adults took classes with the teens, which doesn’t make sense. Of course, while it is important to observe the classroom atmosphere, they adults have already learned a lot of the stuff the classes are teaching. They also didn’t take into account the fact that kids had lives outside of school or things they didn’t feel comfortable sharing that could attribute to mental illness. I’ve actually noticed this a lot, when adults try to figure out why teens are doing so badly with their mental health, they immediately look at their social lives. I might be slightly biased, but I’m under the assumption that most of the problems are caused by the school and education system itself, not the kids social life (or lack thereof).

Schools in America nowadays are more focused on profit and reputation then kids’ mental and even physical health. If you don’t think this is true, look up the statistics for what schools tend to spend their money on, how many fundraisers schools have, and what kids are eating in their school lunches. 

Along with that, students face intense amounts of pressure from parents to get good grades and do well academically. While it is important that they’re learning, parent’s tactics tend to be abusive and uncaring, such as taking away devices and threatening teens with things like taking away their food and shelter, which, if you can imagine, isn’t going to help the kid do better in school. Tactics like these just cause even more stress, making school harder. Not to mention, most times that help is offered to the kids, it’s not necessarily benefited from. Like, for example, when parents try to help their kids with schoolwork, they tend to get frustrated if the kid doesn’t understand. A lot of children and teens are empathetic enough to realize that the adult is getting frustrated, which can make them feel guilty. Even worse, some parents will get so angry that they yell at their kids, accusing them of not paying attention in class, or not caring about their education, when in reality the information is delivered in a way that is too hard to process or just straight up not understandable. Teens might also be offered to study with a tutor, which, though it can genuinely help with improving grades, doesn’t solve the problems that were most likely there in the first place, like the extreme stress and anxiety. Furthermore, teenagers are basically taught that they only need to memorize information long enough to take a test, and not to retain it. Adding onto this, is the stress of knowing that they will soon have to basically decide their future, by choosing what to study and what college to go to. Not to mention all of the political bullshit happening, that they know greatly impacts their future (sorry for cursing, but I feel like it was justified here). Moving on,....

Another thing this article says is, 

“Today’s teens are more protected than in the past. Parents try to shield them from experiencing failure and disappointment. Therefore, teens often have fewer chances to build resilience. Thus, they don’t learn how to cope with challenges.”

I think basically any teenager in the american public school system would agree with me when I say ;

The schools are challenging teens too much.

Because, and any young people know this is true, the amount of information expected to be learned is much more now then it ever has been. And, yes, it’s because there’s always new things being discovered, but the schools are trying to teach all of it, and at the same pace as they taught 40 years ago. Along with this, some teens don’t feel comfortable talking about their issues with their parents, the few people they’re supposed to trust, due to past experiences. And even then, sometimes when they do work up the courage and tell their parents about how stressful their life is, the parents will dismiss their problems as complaints to get out of things they don’t want to do, or, even worse, use the whole “well, when I was your age....” shtick, which solves absolutely nothing.

Another thing the article forgets to mention is the fact that schools decrease a child’s creative development, by forcing them to push it aside for things more academic. Development of creative intelligence is just as important as academic intelligence- I’m not quiet sure how to explain this concept, but if you look up Eddy Zong’s TED talk, it is explained very well.

I’m not sure what else to say, besides that basically everything this article says comes from the viewpoint of adults who haven’t looked at the full picture, and end up blaming the issues onto the incorrect things.

Article in question 

(sorry this was so long, if you have any questions feel free to ask [also sorry this was kinda a bummer]. Bye now, and remember to do something that makes you happy today ^u^ )

[carrackian]

‘Toxic’ Anime Fandoms (But I’m just angry)

Ok so this is gonna be a long stupid ramble because I (An idiot) found some articles online about toxic anime fandoms... and by god does it piss me off. SO in this essay I’m gonna incoherently scream about why these articles I found are just lacking in explanation, and then I point at the glaring flaws. Not to mention I’m using multiple articles, but they all like to use similar arguments.  Warning, I’m gonna paraphrase because these articles are long winded about literally nothing.

The Naruto fanbase is toxic because people compare everything to Naruto, and people get upset when you don’t put it in your best anime list!! Honey... HONEY, that’s how all fandoms are. Naruto was likely people’s first introduction to anime, and people are defensive over their nostalgia, I mean like you saw the uprising with the new Ben 10 and Teen Titans Go, other than the fact that they’re BAD, but people were upset and still are (which is yet again understandable)  Seriously, if I made a list that said ‘Best Things Ever’ and I didn’t include something that they liked, then I understand why someone would be upset, and maybe comment something. It’s the day in age where if you have an opinion someone will probably be upset with you.

The Deathnote fanbase is toxic because people like to say it’s good and act offended if you haven’t watched it! Well I mean... Yeah? That’s how fans of a show can act, it’s just exaggerated. I mean seriously, if someone told me they haven’t ever played Undertale, or heard anything about Homestuck- I’m gonna wonder about what part of the internet you’ve been on because I played Undertale for the first time in like 2019 thanks to how much my friends praised it, and I only got into Homestuck in very late 2020 because one of my friends went on a three hour rant about homestuck and I needed the context for so much stuff. Hell, I only have any knowledge on Deathnote because my friend took their old Deathnote Manga and gave it to me for my birthday- which was a touching gift since they really love Deathnote. 

The Hunter X Hunter fanbase is toxic because it doesn’t get attention from weebs, and the fans sometimes get angry. Seriously? That’s what we’re mad about? This is literally so fucking petty my god- next ffs.

The Jojo fanbase is toxic because ‘is that a jojo reference memes�� and because fans want you to watch Jojo. Fucking- AGAIN!? jesus christ. You wanna know how I got into Jojo? My tooth was pulled, and it was the first time I ever got any teeth pulled, so I was high as hell and spitting out blood occasionally. I didn’t want to walk home that day (for obvious reasons) and so I stayed late so I could get a ride from my friends parents. So when another mutual acquaintance came up, and he was playing the Jojo game on an emulator. This got into the three of them telling me about Jojo, but only super vague pieces of it. High off my ass I got home, binge watched like two seasons of it, and forgot everything that happened after the first episode. So I managed to get through the first season (again) before I got caught up in other things (ahem, pokemon) Not to mention that its normal to want to share something you like with other people. Back when I read books regularly I used to keep a list of books to recommend to my friends.

The Demon Slayer fandom is bad cuz too many spoilers :(  Okay? This... This doesn’t a toxic fandom make. Yeah it’s shitty, but like full fucking on- that’s not toxic?

The Dragon Ball fanbase is toxic because people think Goku is the strongest and argue about it, and it’s dying, but like I’m also proof that DBZ fans aren’t bad! Okay? And? Like I full on mean that. I’m a Dragon Ball fan and let me tell you- I’ve literally never seen a single fucking person actually say anything like that unironically- or during a power leveling video that’s an actual discussion about power scaling. Not to mention that for the most part people watch shows for the actual show? Like the plot, characters, storyline- ya know, the actual fucking show?

The Attack on Titan fanbase is toxic because fans sent death threats to the author for ending the manga. Jesus fucking christ- okay, yeah that’s toxic! So... where’s the catch? They also wrote their own endings to the manga. I swear to GOD- WHAT THE FUCK. Fanfiction has existed forever you ignoramus, bleach-snorting, styrofoam eating IDIOT. Seriously, I literally fucking rewrote the entirety of Naruto (Multiple Times over) are you gonna say that I’m Toxic? How about the multiple other hundreds of people who have literally rewritten entire works of fiction.

Now, what do I consider toxic fanbases? The top three are: Undertale, Homestuck and Steven Universe. The Undertale fandom managed to be so bad that people were actually kinda scared of it. Not to mention that it is a good game, people just went a bit too far. If you killed anyone people would send death threats, Markiplier (a really cool youtuber) had people yell at him for giving Sans a southern accent, and I mean the fact that it’s so big made it worse. The Homestuck fandom had many bad moments where some fans caused harm to others, damaged products, the girl who nearly killed herself trying to dye her skin for a cosplay, AND LITERALLY CHANGED THE CONVENTION FIELD. The Steven Universe fandom nearly killed a fan because she drew a fat character thin, they turned on the fucking creators for saying this was bad, multiple racist, sexist and homophobic things just existing while people pretend to be fake woke.

And this has been- I literally knew all of the bad fandom stuff because I lived through it. Problem is, I lived through the popularity of every single anime on this list while actively in more internet spaces, and I don’t fucking see it. Seriously, when I think of toxic anime fanbases I think about anime like Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid, where a bunch of 30 year olds get horny over a child and then say that they’re fine because she’s ACSHUALLY 2,000 years old! I mean fuck, my favorite meme is literally the- “Men be like “You’re not a real anime fan if you don’t watch ‘Is it wrong to piss on my bunny sister’s feet?’“ Like- fucking exactly. Both these fucking articles have ‘I think that when someone is a little mean or says something kinda annoying they’re TOXIC!’ Like bitch no, when I think toxic I think of the gaslighting fanbases that end up with multiple people with mental disorders or someone dead- which let me tell you, is a surprisingly large amount of fandoms? 

Anyways so I’m done, mainly because it’s like super fucking late and I’m so tired