#I’m sorry but this gets me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

[ktgoodmorning]

Can't do this anymore

Mapi Leon x reader

You and Mapi are best friends and roommates but there always seems to be something else between you

(I adore Mapi and Ingrid but we’re gonna pretend she doesn’t exist for this)

Masterlist

“Wow, someone’s looking good. Hot date or what?” You rolled at Mapi as you entered your living area. Your roommate layed stretched out on the couch, where she often was, with a book in hand, peering over the top of it with a teasing smile on her face. 

“Yeah, Patri’s trying to set me up with some girl she knows. I’m hoping that by agreeing to this one she’ll quit trying to do this all the time.” You weren’t exactly excited for this date, something made clear by your deadpan voice as you talked about it. You were the token single friend in your friend group and you were tired of all of them bugging you about it, constantly trying to set you up. You only agreed to this one in hopes of shutting them up, something that always proved to be difficult. 

“I don’t get why you’re so afraid of talking to girls. You never know, maybe you could bring this one home with you and have some fun?” she wiggled her eyebrows at you. “I can disappear for the night if you want?”  Her sing-songy voice was a hallmark of her usual teasing towards you, both of you used to the fact that she was the one most likely to bring random girls home while you would panic the second a girl made eye contact. 

Despite your differences, the two of you made the most perfect friends. You had lived together for a few years now, saving on rent while also enjoying each other’s company. You were more of a homebody, often appreciating her help in crosswords or sharing books with her while she was the one who got you out of the house, not allowing you to be too much of a homebody. You were the perfect duo and everybody knew it, being more comfortable with each other than with anyone else. 

“Don’t count on it, Maria. I think it’s safe to say you don’t need to plan on disappearing. I’m just going to go have dinner with her and maybe grab some drinks if it goes well. That’s it.” You gave her a knowing look as you put your shoes on and got ready to leave.

“Keep an open mind, you never know, cari. I’m going out with the girls later but you can always give me a call if you need a ride or anything. I’m not drinking tonight so I’ll leave my phone on for you!” And with that, you left the house, off to meet your date.

Your date was fine. The girl was fine, the food was fine, the conversation was fine, it was all just fine. It wasn’t anything special. You didn’t know her at all, obviously, so you felt like the conversation was forced and unnatural. Something about it just left you feeling unsatisfied, seemingly having nothing in common with this girl and therefore nothing to talk about. You couldn’t quite decide what made Patri think it could work out between you but you were over it, your social battery depleted, opting to end the date early so you could go back to the comfort of your own home. Every one of these dates that your friends set you up on left you drained and even more anxious about the idea of ever finding a significant other. 

When you trudged through your apartment door after not being gone for all that long, you weren’t surprised to find Mapi exactly where you left her on the couch. All she could see was the look of annoyance on your face as you slipped off your shoes and made your way to join her, dramatically flopping yourself onto the couch next to her. “I’m guessing the fact that you’re already home will tell me everything I need to know about how your date went?” Her eyebrows rose as she set her book down on her chest to look at you. 

You shot her a glare in response, answering her question for her. The defender raised her hands up as if to surrender, “hey, don’t be getting mad at me, I’m on your side here.” 

“Ugghhh, I know. I’m sorry.” you sat up to finally look at her. “I’m just tired of this shit.” 

“Why don’t you come out with us tonight?”

“I don’t know, I’m tired and I-”

“Cari, listen to me. I think it could be good for you. You can stick with us the whole time, we won’t make you talk to any girls or tease you about it at all.” You scoffed at her words, knowing how unlikely it would be for that to happen. 

“You’re gonna stick with me? Zorri, I guarantee you’ll have your tongue down some girl’s throat in the first ten minutes we’re there.” Her face feigned shock, seemingly offended at your words as you giggled, knowing you were right. 

“Okay well maybe I won’t stick with you but Patri and Pina will!”

“I don’t know, Maps. You just wanna get laid, tonight. I can tell it’s been awhile cause of the stick you’ve had up your ass lately so I think I’ll sit this one out.” You burst out laughing, once again knowing you were right while she started smacking your shoulder. The two of you both broke into a mixture of giggling and hitting each other before trying your best to calm down. 

 This was the nature of your relationship with your Mapi. The two of you were constantly teasing and bullying each other, both of you knowing the love you held for each other. You saw right through what she wanted from her night out, and decided that you just didn’t have the energy to join her, or more accurately, join your other friends, in their night. 

“Mapi, while I appreciate the invite, I’m gonna stay here. But you have fun! I just need a night in.” You stood up from the couch to retreat to your room, stopping briefly to turn back to your friend right as you reached your bedroom door. “And Maria- don’t sleep with that bartender tonight. I know I said to get laid but I don’t mean her. As your friend I’m telling you, something is off about her, so please bring home any other person instead.”

The defender rolled her eyes at you but you knew she’d take your advice seriously. Every time you went out, the same bartender would spend the entire night flirting with Mapi. She hadn’t done anything wrong, per say, but something about her just rubbed you the wrong way and all you knew was that you didn’t want Mapi bringing her back to your apartment. Maybe it was just the way she looked at her or how drop dead gorgeous she was behind the bar, but it made you slightly possessive over your best friend.

With that, you retreated into your room for the night, allowing Mapi to go on with whatever she had planned and for you to get occupied by your thoughts while you attempted to watch a movie. However, all you could think about was how right Mapi had been when she teased you for being so afraid of talking to girls. You had thought about it some before but could never figure out why you were that way. The only girls you were ever all that comfortable around were your teammates and even so, it wasn’t unusual for you to still tense up around them at times. Mapi seemed to be the only one who you truly could let down your walls around no matter what and something about that didn’t sit quite right with you. 

You couldn’t figure it out. She was your best friend and she had been for years, why would you suddenly be questioning how you felt about her? It’s not like anything had changed? So why should your feelings be? 

The more you thought about it, the more it absolutely tore you to pieces, eventually resorting back out to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea in hopes of being able to get to sleep eventually. You didn’t realize how much time had passed until Mapi was quietly opening the front door, sneaking into the kitchen under the assumption you would already be asleep. 

You didn’t hear her enter, scaring you half to death when she suddenly started speaking to you, “You’re still awake? You okay? Something on your mind?” when her voice broke through your thoughts, you jumped, grabbing your chest as you caught your breath. 

“Jesus, Mapi! You scared the shit out of me, what's wrong with you?!”

“Ay, calm down, I didn’t mean to,” she held her hands up in surrender. “Are you okay?” 

You sighed, unable to actually be mad at her. “Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep.” It wasn’t an entire lie, but there was no way you could tell her what you were actually thinking, hoping to change the subject as quickly as possible. “I see you’re home alone. Couldn’t find any girls willing to put up with your yapping, huh?” 

“Oh don’t worry, my mouth would have been far too busy to be yapping.” You almost spit out your tea, shocked by her response while she smirked at you, giving you a small shrug once you calmed down. Mapi’s plans for her mouth were certainly not something you needed to be thinking about at the moment. “I just didn’t really feel it tonight, I don’t know.” 

She joined you at the table, stealing a sip from your tea as she did so. “You should’ve seen Patri and Pina tonight, cari. Those two were crazy…” She continued on and on, filling you in on everyone’s antics from the night, while you just listened. It was easy for you to be completely captivated by her as she spoke. You were used to her talking nonsense and you just listening, always getting lost in how excited she got and how her smile grew the longer she spoke. 

Eventually Mapi noticed the way you struggled to keep your eyes open, completely exhausted by the previous day, and helped you up. “Time for bed, you’re hardly awake. Also, don’tbemadatmebut I told Patri about how your date went so don’t be surprised if you hear from her tomorrow. Goodnight!” She rushed out her words, barely understandable, conveniently right before you went to bed and were too tired to actually be mad at her like you would’ve otherwise. Hardly even processing what she said, you decided you could handle Patri in the morning and went straight to bed, finally too worn out to be kept up by your thoughts any longer. 

You slept in late, later than you normally would, hearing Mapi already up and doing things on the other side of your wall. When you eventually emerged from your room, you were shocked at the state of your best friend. “MAPI! What the fuck!” There she was, casually doing her laundry, in nothing but a sports bra and her underwear. 

“Que?” she genuinely looked confused by your reaction, somehow unsure as to what your problem was.

“Since when does laundry day mean walking around in your underwear?!” 

“Well otherwise you can’t clean all your clothes. Cause the one’s you’re wearing are still not clean so you still have more laundry to do. So I figured why not just wash everything?” She acted as if it were the most obvious thing in the world while you kept your eyes glued to the floor, worried that you’d get caught looking somewhere you shouldn’t. You could only hope that she wouldn’t notice the slight blush that was rising to your cheeks.

“Mapi, somehow you still find ways to surprise me even after three years of living with you.” You shook your head at her, trying to hide how flustered you were while you sat down on the couch to check your phone. 

Somehow, you’d already missed a variety of messages from Patri regarding your failed date that she had set you up on. Normally you’d ignore her or tell her off for bugging you about always being single, but for some reason you decided to entertain her today. Maybe if you agreed to more of her setups and put in more of an effort, it could get you out of whatever weird headspace you found yourself in the night before. Whatever it was you were feeling about Mapi, you needed to put an end to it and hopefully some more successful dates could be the solution you needed. So in a lapse of judgment, you agreed to meet up with another one of Patri’s friends that night. Her source of single, lesbian, friends seemed to be endless so she was overjoyed when you finally stopped putting up a fight. 

There you were once again, getting ready to go on yet another date that you weren’t too excited about. You were trying your best to have a good attitude but it was harder than you expected. 

“You’re all dressed up,” Mapi raised her eyebrows at you, mimicking the exact conversation you had had 24 hours earlier. 

You let out a sigh, already regretting your decision to do this. “Yeah, I let Patri set me up with someone else, so I have another date. We’re just getting dinner so I shouldn’t be out too late, especially with training tomorrow morning.” 

“Wow, you’re really putting yourself out there,” she paused for a moment, almost looking… disappointed? But the defender quickly changed her tune, doing a complete 180, “You have fun, chica! Keep an open mind and my phone’s on if you need anything! You can always give me a call!”

“Gracias, Mapi! I’ll see you later? Adios!” 

You set off towards the restaurant you agreed on, deciding on walking as it was only about a twenty minute walk and the weather was nice. If nothing else, the walk could help clear your mind before you had to meet this girl for real. 

You were about five minutes early so you were the first one there, leaving you to get a table and wait for your date to arrive. 

The girl was a total stranger to you, not even having her number, only knowing that somehow Patri knew her and set the whole thing up. So you sat with your glass of wine, and waited.

After a while you checked your watch. It was now ten minutes after your agreed upon time. But that was understandable, right? Ten minutes was no big deal, she was probably just running late. You double checked your texts with Patri to make sure you had the right time and place and went back to waiting. 

There you sat, getting more and more anxious for every minute that passed. This is why you hated things like this; dates always just filled you with anxiety. You’d already received plenty of looks of pity from the wait staff, and weird glances from the people dining around you. After it reached thirty minutes past your meeting time, you gave Patri a call which she of course, didn’t answer. 

When it hit 45 minutes, you decided you had had enough. Tears had started pooling in your eyes from a mix of anger, embarrassment, frustration, and anxiety. You shakily got up from your table, apologizing to your waiter and paying for your wine as you did so. As soon as you reached the front door, you saw that it had begun to rain, instantly deflating your mood even further. You knew walking home would be the thing to fully send you over the edge so you decided to call your Mapi to pick you up. 

“Chica, estás bien?” 

“Mapi, can you please come get me?” Mapi could hear the exhaustion in your voice, obviously trying to hold back tears. 

“Si. Si, I’ll be right there, I’m leaving right now.” You could tell from her voice that she was rushing, coming to your rescue as fast as she could. She stayed on the phone as she drove, speaking nonsense in an attempt to distract you until she arrived about five minutes later. 

When you got in the car, she looked at you hesitantly, clearly wanting to ask what happened. 

“Maps, she stood me up.”

“Oh, cari.” Her hold body deflated at your words, “I’m sorry. I swear, when I see Patri tomorrow I’m gonna kill her. Why would she try to set you up with some shit girl she knows? I can’t stand that! You deserve better than that, you know that, right? You deserve someone who will treat you like a fucking queen, and I-”

You interrupted her by setting your hand on her thigh as she drove. “Mapi, it’s fine. I appreciate the sentiment but it’s fine, it’s not Patri’s fault.” The two of you settled into a comfortable silence- both of you lost in thought, unknowingly for the same reason. 

“Thank you for picking me up,” your voice was hardly audible. 

“Of course. I told you, I’ll always be here for you if you need anything. It’s no bother, really.” 

“You’re telling me you really have nowhere better to be than here picking me up from a  stupid restaurant in the rain?” 

“Where else would I be right now other than the couch? Sure you might have to answer to Bagheera, but I think she’ll understand.” 

You returned her soft smile, although your thoughts were more conflicted than ever before. “I just can’t help but think this is more effort that most people would put into a friend.” Both of you were silent as she parked the car, not quite sure what you were getting at. You didn’t quite know either, if you were being honest. Your emotions had taken over all sense of logic and all you could think about was the girl sitting next to you. 

“Let’s go inside, order some takeout, and talk, si?” You nodded and followed her inside, terrified of the direction your conversation would be going in. 

Once you got inside and changed from your nice clothes, you both settled on the couch next to each other. “Hmm, nice sweatshirt you’ve got there.” Mapi raised an eyebrow at you as you sat down, looking down at your clothes in confusion. You hadn’t even realized that in your mess of an emotional state, you had put on a hoodie that was definitely hers, instantly comforted by the familiar smell. 

“Ugh, I’m sorry, I didn’t even realize I had it. I’ll wash it and get it back to you tomorrow.”

“Oh no, mi amiga, keep it. I like seeing you in it.” suddenly her voice had gotten much quieter than usual. 

“Mapi, don’t be ridiculous, this is one of your favorites.”

 “No, I mean it. You’re keeping it.” 

You felt tears brimming your eyes once again and tried to blink them away, partially from your emotions from the night catching up to you, and partially filled with appreciation for the girl in front of you. 

“Amiga, are you crying?” 

“NO. No, I’m fine. I’m just tired.” 

“Vale, vale, bien. You’re not crying, I’m just gonna give you a hug, because I want to then, not because you’re crying, because you definitely aren’t crying, I’m just giving you a hug for no reason.” You rolled your eyes at the way she smiled at you, seeing right through you like she always did before pulling you into a hug. Mapi always seemed to know you better than you liked to admit, allowing you to instantly relax in her arms. “You’re adorable.” she mumbled into your shoulder, quietly enough that it took you a second to process her words that she likely didn’t intend for you to hear. 

“What’d you just say, Mapi?”

“Hmm?” she pulled away to look at you. “Oh. Nothing.” Her head shook quickly, as if she had no idea what you were talking about, something that made you smile at her once again. 

“Maps, I know I probably shouldn’t tell you this but I don’t know who else to tell other than you and I just need to get it off my chest.” She looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to continue. “I’m always so scared of girls and dating and all of that.” You looked up at her, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you know that already.” You were met with an encouraging smile as you thought about what you wanted to say next. “But I never could figure out why I was so scared. I just could never get comfortable with anyone and I think I’ve always been terrified of getting hurt if I let my walls down. But lately I feel like I’ve realized that you’re the only person that I ever feel completely comfortable with. And you’re the only person that I’m not worried about hurting me. And I don’t know what to make of that, and it scares me, and you’re literally my favorite person in the world, and I just-” You took a deep breath in an attempt to prevent yourself from getting even more worked up. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”

Mapi was silent in thought for a minute but reached out to grab your hand, her way of letting you know that she wasn’t upset but just needed a second to think before responding. When she finally did, her voice was shaky and much less animated than you typically heard it. “You know how I am with dating. You know I’d rather just hook up with people and play around.” This was not at all what you expected her to say, raising your anxiety even further. “I never saw myself being able to settle down. It was always too scary. I’d rather put no feelings into it and just have fun than risk someone else fucking me up. But something about you, changes that for me. There’s a reason I haven’t been hooking up with anyone lately. You were my best friend before you were anything else, amor, and I don’t want to put that at risk.” Her eyes glanced up at you hesitantly, barely whispering out her last words, “But you make the idea of settling down seem easy.”  

If you thought you were confused before, it couldn’t even compare to how you felt now. Your mind was running on overdrive, trying its best to make sense of her confession. You’d never in life seen Mapi look so scared and vulnerable, something that was saying a lot as you had seen her at some major low points. She was hardly making eye contact with you, and was more fidgety than usual- picking at her nails and tapping her foot. 

The defender took a huge deep breath, before giving your hands a squeeze. She could easily see the way your thoughts were spiraling and knew she would have to be the one to say what you were both thinking. 

“Why don’t we stop pretending we still think of each other as friends? Cause I don’t know if I can do that anymore.” 

You looked up at her surprised, just now realizing that she was serious in sharing the feelings you had. “Mapi are you for real? And don’t fuck with me right now, cause I swear-”

She giggled slightly at your reaction, stopping you in your tracks, “En serio, amor. Prometo.” You could tell that she was. Her face was as serious as she ever was. 

“Then let’s not be just friends anymore.” 

You hardly realized the way the two of you had drifted closer throughout your conversation, both of you speaking much quieter, only a few inches apart. “I want to show you what you deserve, treat you like the queen you are, and show you how much I love everything about you.” Both of you were looking all over the other’s face, your eyes bouncing from her lips, back up to her eyes, and taking in everything in between. If you could memorize every freckle in that moment, you would’ve.

“Then do it, Maps.” 

There was maybe only an inch separating you, but for some reason she was still scared of messing it up. "Am I reading this wrong? If I am.. push me away." Your noses brushed together as you could feel her breath on yours. When you didn’t hesitate at her words, she took that as the approval she needed, instantly pressing her lips against yours. The chemistry between you was more than either of you had felt with anyone else, finally doing exactly what you didn’t realize you had been waiting for along.

Hope you enjoyed! Requests are open and appreciated!

Masterlist

[i-am-hungry-24-7]

[Hey, how are you?] Simon Riley*F!Reader

Ten years ago, Simon lost you due to his mistake, and he meets you again after these years of regret.

Hurt and comfort, Happy Ending

“Are you married?”

He always be asked when others see the ring on his finger.

“No.” He answers while taking another sip of his wine, letting the person realize it’s a topic they don’t have the authority to dig in.

He still remembers the vow he chanted as he put the ring on your finger.

The memory is as clear as the day you left the house, and he never saw you again.

It’s his fault, you didn’t shed many tears when he yelled at you, saying that you will never be able to free him from his nightmares, who do you think you are? a fucking philanthropist?

He knew he screwed up everything the moment his taunt escape his mouth.

No, No. I didn’t mean to say that, I need you, I love you, please don’t leave me.

He watched you lower your head, trying in vain to hide your sadness, but your heart was already shattered into pieces, by him, the man who promised to protect you by any means.

I’m sorry.

The words stuck in his throat when he looked at you stepping out the threshold with your belongings.

Please stay.

The greedy wish was buried inside his heart when you stopped for a second. “Bye, Simon. Take care.” you whispered, and disappeared into the aisle.

Ten years, he’s still unable to move on.

He brainwashes himself repeatedly, she will have a better life without you.

Yet he still opens his phone every time he finishes his therapy sessions, looks at your number, and just stares at the screen for minutes.

His thumb lingers on the “call” button but never dares to press it.

Hey, are you doing alright? I’m sorry, I want you back. I went to therapy after that day. I’m not the same person caged in his past anymore.

I miss you so much.

but how selfish he is if he interrupts your life now? Such a nice person like you deserves someone to cherish you nicely, and treasure you with their whole heart.

That’s why he now stands afar from you, watching you behind the veil of autumn’s breeze.

You’re still stunning, time doesn’t deprive your beauty even a bit.

He gazes at you for a long while, and when you turn around and spot him, it’s obvious that you’re in shock and come to a halt.

The world keeps moving, but the time seems frozen between you two, as you both set eyes on each other and never dart.

You head towards him as he starts hesitating to take the first move.

“Hey.” You look at him with a shallow grin on your face.

“Hey.” He mumbles.

The silence fills the air, but no awkwardness, he’s just too indulged in your presence, which he has been dreaming of for years.

Sorry for that day. How are you doing now? Have you married? Have a partner?...

He has too many things he wants to ask, but his thoughts are like matted wool, until his eyes land on the ring on your finger.

“You’re marrie—“ He questions without a second thought, but the words get cut off instantly due to his realization.

because the ring is paired with the one on his finger right now.

It’s not until you chuckle that he’s back to reality.

“Yes, I’m married, about ten years ago? to an idiot man.”

“Why did you marry him? he’s a bloody dork.”

“Good question. or maybe that’s the reason why I married him.” Shrugging, you then meet his gaze with a smile “How about you? Are you married?”

“Yeah, ten years ago, to a woman that’s too precious for me, so I lost her.”

“If you meet her again, what do you want to tell her?”

“I’ve improved. I’ve reached for help and now I’m not the same man anymore.”

“Anything else you want to say?”

“I miss her every single day, and I hope I can have her in my arms again.”

“Well, I don’t know about her.” you step closer to him. “But I’m sure she will love to have some tea with you as her first compensation from you, what do you think?”

He blinks at the hand you reach out at him, and slowly, he takes it into his palms, that’s befitting to drive away the chill.

Your hand fits well in his, like it’s made for him to serve it with all his warmth, and he’s sure that he will never let go of it again.

“My pleasure.”

a/n: lemme give Simon a fucking punch/j

[leaderwonim]

unconditional love. ✧ park sunghoon x fem!reader genre: bittersweet fluff, coming of age angst

you liked park sunghoon, you truly did. he was kind, intelligent, and had that soft introverted persona on the outside.

when you got to know him, he became the most funny and loudest person to ever exist, which had your heart doing backflips.

it wasn’t him that was the issue. it was you. you always had commitment issues, never being able to settle down because of your past pulling you behind. i mean—how could anyone ever like you? you felt as thought you were too loud, too annoying, too irritable, just too much.

despite your brain constantly bringing you down, park sunghoon loved you. he loved every single piece of you, the way you’d blow your perfect hair out of your face as you concentrated on the textbook in front of you, the way your eyebrows would furrow when you didn’t quite catch a question or answer, the way you’d prop your head onto your knees as a way to comfort yourself.

god, park sunghoon swore you were the one. he didn’t care that his friends warned him about your earned title of being a ghoster when it came to relationships, he didn’t care that it felt like he was constantly putting in more effort than you.

as long as he’s got you, he doesn’t care. so how did the two of you end up in this situation?

“i don’t get it,” sunghoon frowns, “what did i do wrong?”

“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you say exasperatedly, “in fact, you were perfect sunghoon. you were everything i wanted and more—it’s just me.”

park sunghoon hated the classic it’s me not you excuse when it came to situations like these. but because it’s you, he lets it slide, even though he already feels the tears coming.

“i don’t want to hurt you any longer, hoonie. you have to understand i’m ending this because i care about you too much to put you through hell.”

sunghoon solemnly nods, knowing whatever he’ll say won’t change anything, that it’s already too late and you’ve already made up your mind.

it’s cruel, he thinks. life. how it could be so depressing and meekly all at once.

it wasn’t until a year later that sunghoon and you crossed paths again. you two were now sophomores in college, and had even attended the same university.

you had gotten a boyfriend, finally deciding to settle down after maturing and realizing how much of a piece of shit you were to all the boys at your high school.

his name was heeseung and he had treated you like a princess, reminding you of how sunghoon used to treat you back in senior year.

now here you were, sitting on one of the university steps with your head hung low. your parents had given you the call about them divorcing, right in the middle of your sophomore year. you were miles away, and was heartbroken knowing your family was splitting in two without you being there physically to support them.

“hey, you okay?”

you knew that voice better than anyone.

“hoon?” you sniffle. “i’m sorry—why am i even calling you that.”

“it’s okay.” he reassures you, patting your back as he takes a seat. “what’s wrong?”

“parents are getting divorce,” you scoff. “guess thats karma for all the things i put you through.”

“don’t say that.” sunghoon gently wipes away your tears, frowning when he sees more appear.

“you shouldn’t even be comforting me, i treated you like shit sunghoon, i got a new boyfriend right after i said i couldn’t settle down with you.”

“who cares?” sunghoon says, and for the first time, you don’t see the romantic love he used to have in his eyes for you. “we’re young! of course you’re going to find other people.”

you’re in awe at the maturity sunghoon is displaying. you knew it took a lot of courage for him to do so.

“why are you being so nice, sunghoon?”

“the world is already cruel, yn.” sunghoon sighs. “so therefore, i won’t be.”

and although his words won’t stop the divorce of your parents or the sadness filling your chest, it makes you feel a tad bit lighter, knowing that you had someone like park sunghoon in your life.

[neoflect]

sharing some of my disorganized jojo musical thoughts now that ive had a week to sit on it and ive rewatched it several times over. i intended to wait to publish something like this until a subtitled version was available, but im not seeing any indication that thats happening any time soon so for now youll have to deal with my loose interpretations from my extremely rudimentary and rusty japanese… so take what i have to say about the finer points of characterization with a grain of salt. gratuitous spoilers below obviously, both for the original source material and the changes made in the stage production

my feelings are OVERWHELMINGLY positive. of course there are things i can criticize or that i would have personally done differently but oh man… i have literally not thought about anything besides this fucking show for a week. im 100% confident in saying this is a better adaptation of the source material than the tv anime. sorry to the davidpro staff, i respect their hard work and their love for jojo and their dedication to what is by any metric a pretty difficult property to adapt off of the page, but i dont know if i can ever forgive them for leaving half of the first episode’s storyboard on the cutting room floor in order to fit a standard half-hour tv slot, especially considering that what they cut is some of the really crucial character-building stuff. happily those scenes are not only reproduced in the stage version, some of them are expanded upon!

with the quick disclaimer that i’ve only managed to get my hands on the final 4/14 performance with shotaro arisawa and yoshihisa higashiyama, from what i’ve seen the casting is perfect. i’m sure there’s a rip of the 4/13 performance somewhere (i’ve seen clips) but i haven’t been able to find one… every single performer knocks it out of the fucking park, the cast chemistry is incredible and even the minor characters are loaded with charisma. and mamoru miyano… my god… mamoru miyano i owe you an apology. i was not familiar with your game. of course hes been killing it for decades at this point but i had soured on him a little bit recently because i felt like he was overcast in everything and i just didnt connect with his dnt reinhard at all, so when the casting was initially announced back in august i was underwhelmed, and of course my standards for the dio role in particular were astronomically high… i’ll go more into detail later in the post because i have so so many things to say about dio’s characterization here but mamoru miyano’s performance is like, life-changing. i had impossible expectations and he exceeded them.

sorry if im gushing. i am a hater by nature. its unusual for me to be so thoroughly pleased with something. im not even a musical theater guy. these are strange new feelings for me.

just to balance things out i’ll talk about a couple of the things that didn’t really work for me: first of all, the music is just ok. my initial draft of this post called the music “bad” but three additional viewings later i have warmed up to some of the songs. i don’t know if this is a shortcoming by dove attia as the composer or if it’s just me, as i said i’m not a musical guy and a lot of the genre conventions of musical theatre are not really the things i look for in music that i enjoy, but like… even at their worst they are serviceable. nothing here is sonically unpleasant to me. high points are “resolve of the ripple” (zeppeli’s hamon training song, a jazzy swing number - it’s simply catchy and fun to listen to) and the closer “phantom blood” (a sweeping ballad that reprises the earlier “light and darkness”/”golden spirit” leitmotifs into an epic duet between jonathan and dio as they join hands and walk off into the darkness together… made me cry! i wont lie! on every single one of my numerous viewings this one got me misty eyed!)

wait i forgot this is supposed to be the part where i’m being critical. ok my most loathed song in the musical is “dio’s world”. sorry dio nation. it doesn’t really work for me. i think this might be a case of my standards/expectations being too impossibly high because it’s not even really the worst song in the whole thing. and of course miyano eats it up so it’s not really his fault. i just find it kind of underwhelming… i find the melody a little grating, it’s kind of just a generic rock number, it’s just missing a particular je ne sais quoi…. the essence of dio isn’t there… lyrically though i am obsessed with the premise of dio recruiting his minions by selling himself as a kind of social revolutionary who is upending and inverting the brutal hierarchy of post-industrial victorian society with zombie blood magic. you win some you lose some.

the second sticking point for me is the costumes. they’re perfectly serviceable… adequate… but i mean when it comes to jojo “serviceable” and “adequate” costume design obviously falls well below what’s expected, right? a lot of the outfits have kind of a boxy, almost flat-looking kind of unflattering fit on the actors, which if i wanted to be generous i could attribute to the challenge of bridging the gap between these frail slender musical theater twinks and the two-meter-tall 250lb roided-out beefcakes theyre meant to be embodying. (bearing this discrepancy in mind a lot of the insane martial arts stuff in the second act doesn’t really land with the oomph that it should, but i also understand logistically why this kind of casting is not practical, and all things considered i think shotaro arisawa does a really incredible job of embodying jonathan joestar even though he kind of looks like i could snap him in half over my knee like a twig. he’s very cute. so i’m not mad about it.) of course, again, logistically, i understand that in a stage musical production, where actors only have minutes to complete costume changes, some sacrifices have to be made to the creative vision in the name of practicality. nevertheless this is jojos bizarre adventure!! i want to see some fucking baubles!!!!!!

which is all to say that… after carefully considering it for some weeks… i still have extremely mixed feelings about dio’s grink ass feather bathrobe look. it’s not that i dont think its something he could wear (the concept of dio lounging around in his gothic vampire palace doing re-animator style body horror experiments on the local wildlife in this “officer i have no idea what happened to my husband”-ass nightgown is nothing short of hysterical to me) but then he wears it into combat and i felt a little disappointed… it has the same unflattering fit issue as the other outfits in the show, and it is just such an un-araki-like design… where are the gaudy color combinations? the bizarre geometric patterns? the tease of an exposed boob/thigh/midriff? erina gets a stage-original dress design that i have fewer issues with because the excessive pleats and ruffles have more of an araki-esque sensibility, but every time i look at dio’s robe it feels like there’s something missing.  i’m going to choose to be nice about it because it’s not at all a deal breaker and, again, mamoru miyano devours the look. it’s fine. it’s always fun to have a new dio outfit. if anything, the fact that the blu-rays are being marketed as “2024 cast version” gives me hope for the possibility of a future production with a new vision for the costume design. (although the fact that this was such a difficult production - with stunts and pyrotechnics and moving setpieces - that its entire first week was cancelled indicates to me that the prospects for a future production from a different company are impossibly slim. i guess there’s always hope?)

in terms of the writing and the changes that were made from the original narrative, honestly i don’t really have an issue with anything that was cut. sorry if there are any diehard stans of Poco’s Unnamed Sister out there who are steamed that their favorite minor late phantom blood character got the axe, i kind of understand how you feel because i’ve been malding over david pro cutting the Danny Lore for eleven years, but i think it was the right choice and the story flows so much better. the real juicy meat at the core of phantom blood as a narrative and the thing that brings it head and shoulders above so much of the rest of jjba is the character-driven drama - that deliciously pulpy victorian gothic family tragedy - and the relationship between jonathan and dio. the musical beefs up the character drama and slims down the action-driven second half by trimming out the extraneous battles. the only real downside i see to this is that the absence of tompetty and his prophecy makes zeppeli’s arc and death feel INSANELY abrupt, but tbf that’s not a deal breaker for me. sorry zeppeli. you were born to die.

okay. okay. i think 1500 words into the post is enough fucking around so let’s talk about the real reason why you and i both know we’re here

musical dio is SO fucking sad. he’s positively wretched, you guys. he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone and forced to eat cement when he was six. he cries even more than he does in the source material and even when he’s not crying he frequently delivers his lines as though he is moments away from bursting into tears. back when the musical first opened i was snooping on the reactions on jpn twitter and one commenter said they could see miyano’s tears and snot from the nosebleeds even without opera glasses, a remark i initially assumed was hyperbole but that i now think probably was not. araki’s dio is certainly tortured and a deeply pathetic crybaby beneath all the cruelty and posturing, but changes in the musical and miyano’s embodiment of the character bring this pathos to the fore. he is literally haunted: dario’s ghost lingers, a manifestation of all of dio’s traumas and insecurities that emerges from the recesses of his memory to taunt him with the reminder that he will always be his father’s son, all the way up until the very minute that jonathan breaks down the door to his vampire lair. i am OBSESSED with this - not only for the obvious reason that i delight in dio’s suffering personally but also because kong kuwata is a delight and he fucking kills it every time. also lends itself to a category 10 leitmotif moment at the top of the second act when dio emerges from the charred ruins of the joestar estate singing dario’s theme and calling out to jonathan - if i had to pinpoint this is probably the moment when this musical stuck for me as the Real Deal. they Get It.

the first solo number in the show is dio’s disney princess I Want song (amazingly, simply titled “dio”) where he weeps for his late mother and his wretched lot in life, and then - in a creative decision that made me clap my hands and hoot and holler at my screen in real life - there is a reprise of this number (delivered, naturally, through tears) when dio is almost arrested for murder and decides to become a vampire instead. so there’s this amazing hopeful uplifting inspirational orchestral music accompanying the onstage action of dio ruthlessly slaying jonathan’s dad and then getting pumped full of lead by a bunch of cops. it is brilliant. 10/10 no notes. it’s moments like this that i think really sell the “softening” of dio in the stage version for me, even though i am historically Not A Fan of fanworks that take a similar angle - like, yes, he is sad, but specifically he is narcissistically obsessed with the spectacle of his own suffering, he is boiling over with bitterness and rage for everyone around him who (by his own estimation) could never hope to have suffered as much as he has. this sensitivity and self-pity he wallows in are not expressions of a guilty conscience or a desire to change - they’re entirely the opposite - every cruel and monstrous deed dio commits is always justified to himself because he is simply the saddest little boy who has ever existed. he has been done wrong by the world and so there is no limit to the depravity he may reasonably respond with. i’ve seen several commenters describe this as a drastically different interpretation of the character from araki’s dio (and someone told me on twitter that mamoru miyano himself has also said this, but i cba to go digging for an actual source so take it with a grain of salt?), but i… dont think thats the case! dio’s obsession with his own weakness and his self-perception as the eternal underdog (as compared to jonathan) are certainly more exaggerated in miyano’s performance, but i don’t think this is an angle to the character that’s been manufactured out of whole cloth. the genre conventions of the stage musical force the melodrama up to eleven and dio’s incredibly repressed angst is the most rich vein to mine for that. hair-trigger sadist dio is still here, it’s the same guy, he’s still killing people mercilessly, you’re just getting to see him sing a big ballad about his feelings instead of confining those to an internal monologue.

if anything, the exaggeration of dio’s pathetic/cowardly/crybaby traits combined with his megalomaniacal aspirations and bottomless well of cruelty is just right. it’s perfect. fucking around, finding out, and then trying to weasel his way out of the consequences with crocodile tears just so you don’t see him drawing his knife to cut you clean open… yeah. thats the stuff. thats my one true blorbo. sad to say i will love him for ten thousand years.

i think that might be all i have to say… or at least all i feel like saying here… most likely ill come back and edit this post later. i certainly have some additional thoughts and some more esoteric/controversial takes but they’re not suited for a public blog. real ones will understand. im keeping my eyes peeled for somebody to translate this thing but to be frank i am kind of enjoying this little corner of fandom as it is right now: just the asians and the true hardcore phantom blood phreaks. i have not had this much fun in jojo fandom in almost a fucking decade. as soon as somebody publishes an english version my timelines going to get flooded with all the most deeply annoying “kono dio da” “speedwagon waifu” reddit guys and 15 year olds and my suffering will proceed. unfortunately this is my lot in life and i am doomed to be here forever because dio put a worm in my brain

[fallenclan]

RAVENSTAR’S APOLOGY

A fic by buttercup-unlimited :3

Author’s note: Here’s me drabbling for a while. Sorry if I get any lore/pronouns wrong, I’m trying my hardest but I am very tired 😭

The cave was vast and looming, the cracked rock face seeming to climb endlessly into the inky blackness above. A single word could echo dozens of times around these walls, spreading like a whispered rumour into the ear of another. The air hung heavy with bitter cold and silence, spare the eerie rustling of shrubbery from the clearing and the occasional warning call of a nearby bird.

Leaders of Fallenclan’s past only ever tended to use part of the intimidating space as a sleeping den, preferring to make their nests in a smaller corner and keep warmth in for as long as they could. Goldenstar infamously allowed kits to play in the space he left unused, simply stating that whatever was his, was the clan’s. Even Maplestar picked merely a decent chasm to curl up into, never needing anything more. Every leader that had come before, in fact, hadn’t dared to flaunt such a cathedral all for themselves.

But Ravenstar was nothing like the leaders that had come before. No, he was stronger. Smarter. Shrewder. Grander. The day that he had received his nine lives, Ravenstar had returned to camp to make a very deliberate show of slowly building his nest, twig by twig, in the very centre of the den. A statement, if you will, the marking of what was very clearly now his territory. His eyes had glowed in a strange sort of way that day. Forebodingly. If you looked close enough, you just might have seen the rush of power going straight to Ravenstar’s head. Leadership had that effect on some cats.

Littleleaf had been there. Every day, since they were born, Littleleaf had been by Ravenstar’s side. He had watched him through his apprenticeship, arguing with his mentor at even the most trivial of things. Older cats would often say that he was a strong-willed fellow, well suited for a powerful position one day. If only they had known who he would become.

Ravenstar had lost everything except Littleleaf. The two brothers were the only thing tying one another to reality, saving each other from fluttering away in the breeze—like a leaf under a rock, safe…and yet stifled.

“Ravenstar?”

Even the name bore a sense of importance, of tension. Littleleaf regretted the call as soon as he had uttered it, not helped by the constant repeat of his word as it travelled up the gossiping walls of the cave. He felt so small, so insignificant, in this place. Something about its legacy was an all-too-cruel reminder of the fleeting nature of existence—Littleleaf almost felt as if he could drop dead right there, on the ground, and it would only be a flashing moment in time.

He took a few tentative steps forward, careful not too make too much noise on the cold stone floor. Most of the den was hidden in shadow, daring any cat who wasn’t Ravenstar to even attempt to venture further.

“Do you have any time to talk? I have some news…” Littleleaf tried again, cringing at how easy it was to boom in these chambers.

“News? This should be interesting.” A voice drawled from behind him, causing Littleleaf to flinch as he turned. Ravenstar had perched himself on a jutted-out rock somewhere high up the wall, his tail tucked neatly over his paws as he observed.

“Oh, hello. You frightened me, brother.” Littleleaf chuckled nervously. Something about their relationship, usually so close and easy, had felt strained as of recently. It was no longer so easy to approach Ravenstar.

The Fallenclan leader smiled, eyes glinting maliciously. His black pelt blended in perfectly with the shadows of the rock face, almost like they had belonged here all along. This was Ravenstar’s home now, and there could be no dispute about that.

“Sincerest apologies. I’m waiting…?” The leader mewed coolly. It was clear that he had no time for small talk, not even with his kin.

“Right. Of course. Well, we weren’t sure when to tell you, but…here we go.” Littleleaf took a deep breath. It was awkward, trying to give news to someone several feet above you. “Moorthistle is expecting kits. You’re going to be an uncle.”

Boom.

A million thoughts seemed to rush through Ravenstar’s head all at once. The coolly composed tomcat, usually so calm and purposeful in his mannerisms, seemed to struggle to maintain his balance from his vantage point as he took in the news. His facade flickered, just enough for Littleleaf to notice, and for a second or two Ravenstar was just a confused young tom again.

“Kits.” Ravenstar repeated, bright eyes darting to just about every corner of the den. “Kits, belonging to you and to Moorthistle. In Fallenclan.”

Littleleaf nodded distractedly, craning his neck to get a better look at his brother. “Yes, I…are you alright, Ravenstar? You look rather shocked.”

Ravenstar seemed to snap back to attention all of a sudden, jolted back to life by the attention of his brother, momentary crisis over as soon as it had began. He straightened his neck, focused his gaze and gave his chest a few calming licks, whispering something inaudible to himself.

“Yes.” Ravenstar eventually replied, keeping his answers concise and dry—he was back to normal, indeed. “I’m fine thank you, brother. I was taken by surprise, is all.”

Littleleaf nodded. “Alright, then.”

There seemed to be eons of silence between the brothers, both unsure of what to say next. When did it become so hard to conversate?

It was only when Littleleaf seemed to be on the verge of turning and leaving that Ravenstar spoke again, blurting words in a hurry as if in an attempt to make him stay.

“This is very good news, Littleleaf.” He mewed loudly. “More kin for you and I. More kits for Fallenclan. I’m sure…I’m sure that they will grow up to be fine warriors. May Starclan bless you.”

Littleleaf knew the words were intended for comfort, but all he could find within himself to feel was hurt. Why was his brother, so high and mighty now on his pretentious throne of rock, speaking to him as if he were any other old aquaintance?

“Why do you hold me so far from your heart, brother?” Littleleaf asked before he could stop himself. He wished that he had stayed silent, seeing Ravenstar’s false smile drop. The last thing he needed for himself and Moorthistle was tension with the leader of their clan.

Ravenstar narrowed his glowing eyes, looking bemused at best. “What exactly do you mean?”

Littleleaf shook his head, suddenly feeling very warm under the roasting heat of Ravenstar’s gaze. “I didn’t mean anything. I was just thinking out loud, really, don’t listen to me…”

Ravenstar did not look convinced. As if deciding something to himself, the sleek black tom began to leap nimbly down to meet his brother on the cave floor. Was he going to berate him? Banish him? …Hug him? Littleleaf wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

They stood face to face for the first time in what felt like moons. Equal, it appeared, if only for a moment in time. Littleleaf often forgot that he was larger than his brother—because, in so many other ways, he was not.

“I…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Littleleaf apologised, trying to back out of the hole he had dug himself into. He had never believed Ravenstar guilty of the crimes some suggested he had committed, but he didn’t intend on finding out if the accusations were truthful tonight.

“No. I’m the one who should apologise.” Ravenstar insisted suddenly, taking Littleleaf by surprise. “I… am sorry, brother. “

Littleleaf practically sputtered. This was the first time he had ever been apologised to by his brother, and most probably the last. He felt that the occasion should become an annual celebration.

“I know I have been distant, as of late. Partly because of my new duties, but also…” Ravenstar let out a laboured sigh, full of tension and grief that Littleleaf didn’t even know he possessed. “I care very much for you. More than you know. But it’s difficult for me. I see so much of them…in you.”

Littleleaf didn’t need to ask who his brother was referring to. “I see them, too. Everywhere.” He half-whispered.

Ravenstar held up a tail to silence his brother—an old leader tactic used to indicate that he was not yet finished saying his peace.

“I wanted to protect you. Show you how strong I could be on my own. I wanted to be the best I could be for you, Littleleaf. I am sorry if this meant sacrificing the time we used to spend together.” Ravenstar confessed. It was clearly difficult for the leader to talk about his feelings for such a prolonged period of time.

Littleleaf stroked his tail along his brother’s back comfortingly, the way he had when they were kits. “Thank you.” He murmured.

Ravenstar inclined his head. “I am happy for you, Littleleaf. You will make a great father. And perhaps…perhaps I will make a great uncle.”

Littleleaf wasn’t sure what to say. Was there anything he could say?

Perhaps, in this fleeting moment in time, all Ravenstar needed was a shoulder to lean on.

(Beetle note: THIS IS SO GOOD!!!! i love the exploration of Raven and Little's relationship,,, its so awesome)

[razorblade180]

Tough Choices

Caelus:*looks left*

March:🥺

Caelus:*looks right*

Stelle:🥺

Caelus:….Since when does this fall to me?

March:Caelus! Look at me! *shakes him* She’s so close! She’s right over there!

Robin:*sitting pretty*

Stelle:Don’t look at her! Look at who matters!

Firefly:* also sitting pretty*

March:What happened to not liking Stellaron Hunters!?

Stelle:Shit happens!

March:Well I’ve been consistent! I am a fan and I’d really like to hangout with my favorite idol regularly!

Stelle:Caelus, we can literally stop one heart from breaking.

March:GUESS WHO SUNG THAT!?

Stelle:GUESS WHO LIVES THAT!?

Caelus:(Is this why Welt gave me the bag of jades?) Maybe we should revisit this?

MS: No.

Caelus:Oh…

March:Listen…I consider myself a respectable lady with pride. Caelus… you know that dress you like?

Caelus:Have you no shame!

March:Not today. I’m just showing my resolve! It’s not this is anything new between us. Remember last month?

Stelle:Are you…bribing him with the birthday present you wanted?

March:…* smiles sheepishly* Okay, you got me there.

Stelle:If we’re going this low then I’m going to hell. Caelus, Firefly totally likes you as much as she likes me. Also, you may of noticed that she has two hands. What a coincidence! One for each of us!

Caelus:You bring up interesting points…

Stelle:Why are you acting like you don’t want to see her here!?

Caelus:I’m acting like the crew member in charge of our funds! Look, if we get a little lucky and go hard with our duties, we’ll have enough for both. We even have a bit of bonus funds.

March:*red* You could’ve said that before my proposition!

Caelus:I kinda wanted to see how deep this well goes. Also, both of you disappoint me. I take food bribes before anything else. *crosses arms* I have my morals.

Stelle:Topaz smiled at you and she got in.

Caelus:Let that go~ it paid off in the end.

Topaz:*on the couch* Imagine my E1 hehe.

MS: *intense stare*

Topaz:It was a joke! Relax!

Caelus:Okay. Problem solved. Let’s all find peace again.

The loud sound of a creaking door turns everyone’s head.

Fu Xuan:….

Everyone:…..

Fu Xuan:Have you lost sight of your original agenda? The path you set out on?

Caelus:Listen-

Fu Xuan:A single step away from genuine, premium Mono Quantum. You lot have Bronya…

March:But-

Fu Xuan:Ruan Mei…

Caelus:That’s-

Fu Xuan: And Sparkle! All the harmony in the world won’t buff a corpse! You. Need. Protection. I’ve seen how Gepard coughs up blood every battle, and that blonde gambler can’t be in two places at once. Do I even need to bring up the fact certain individuals decide to bruise like bananas!? *turns head*

Qingque:*whistles in guilt*

Silver Wolf: It’s not my fault they know I’m a threat.

Fu Xuan:My sorry excuse for a worker also is threading the needle with 70% rate. As usual I will pick up her slack and keep others healthy. Caelus, be smart.

Caelus:…Screw it. Y’know what? We will gamble the funds. Robin gets one shot to show up and if it fails then onto Fu Xuan. If Robin arrives then Fu Fu gets the one shot. No second chances!

Everyone:What!?

Firefly:(That goodness I’m going last. They’ll probably have more funds by the time I arrive.)

Caelus:This is my decision! All or nothing!

xxxxxx

Aventurine: *walking in nothingness* ……. Why do I feel so proud all of a sudden?

[k-atsukibakugou]

Mercury your event is SO cute I’m actually obsessed! I’m such a beer girlie, but if I had to pick a drink it’s gotta be a jägerbomb! And for the character you pick because I want you to be as free as possible I’m ready for anything👀

ehehehe i was a lil cheeky with this one, i leaned more into the leave you wanting more vibe with the jagerbomb also im sorry for the lack of beer i've never met a beer or cider i've liked LMAO i was going to make this endeavor but the more i wrote it the more it worked better with bakugou but i hope u like it!! teehee birthday bash intro + rules + menu | event masterlist

anyone who wasn’t a couple jagerbombs deep could tell you how bad of an idea jagerbombs are at an work party, but when you work at one of the most popular bars in musutafu, it’s more a rite of passage.

not even here a year, your work-best friend was the very first to inform you of the notorious annual work party, how messy they get, how she’d gone home with the chef one year, and how many servers had crashed in the booths over the years. finally, the time had come for the party, your friend already abandoning you to flirt with the chef again, although, you couldn’t play the morally high act about it when all your attention was on your boss behind the counter.

walking behind the bar, you perused the liquor on offer, mostly mid-tier stuff, but god, did the imported stuff look good right about now, something smooth to take your mind off of him. fuck, why’d he have to roll his sleeves up like that? his forearm muscles enough to make you wonder what else lies beneath that damn shirt, an endless expanse of muscles underneath a wife-pleaser singlet, thick thighs caged in his expensive slacks.

“need some help?” lost in your daydream, bakugou is beside you before you realise how long you’ve been ogling him, your indecisive daze in front of the alcohol drawing his attention (any excuse to talk to you, really). you’re nowhere near drunk enough for him to be this close, to get this messy. yet.

“you don’t have my beer on tap.” his eyes nearly roll back at your sweet tone, your gentle teasing that’s been driving him up the wall for months. he stays steadfast, dark garnet eyes unwavering, despite the top you’d worn specifically for them to wander.

“let me make it up to you,” he takes another step closer, the expensive scent of his cologne filling your lungs when he reaches around you for the distinct green bottle, trapping you between his biceps for a fleeting moment, “we’ll do something i used to have in my party days.”

grabbing two pint glasses and two shot glasses, you watch him work with the kind of swiftness and expertise decades behind a bar could give a man, every twist of his wrist calculates, not a single drop of jagermeister or redbull spilling, even when the latter threatened to bubble over the top of the glass.

“you used to do jagerbombs?” you can’t help but sound incredulous, your eyebrows shooting up to your hairline when you accept the drink from him. mesmerised as he pours his own, you try to imagine him younger, chugging back the bomb, swallowing shot after shot, stumbling home in the am. even in your daydream, his hair had speckles of salt through the blond of his hair, the silver fox look worked too well for him to see him any other way.

“why are you so shocked? i was twenty once.”

“it’s hard to imagine you… like that.”

“like what?”

“you know, a party animal, i can only see you drinking bourbon on the rocks.” he chuckles at the memories, of sleepless nights, of horrendous hangovers.

“i could still drink you under the table.” he challenges, already reaching to pour another, you try not to laugh in his face, the image of your all-powerful boss drunk and stumbling was something you’d pay to see. with a smile you could only describe as evil, hot, you clinked your drink with his before knocking it back, “sure you can, old man.”

after too many bombs, an assortment of other shots, some cocktail bakugou poured you and a sip (you weren’t game enough to have more of it, there’s a reason you weren’t a bartender) of the one you poured him, the pair of you stumbled into his office at the back of the bar. half the buttons are undone on his shirt, your hands sliding beneath the hem of his shirt even when he pulled away from you long enough to unlock the door, pulling you inside with him and nudge it closed once more before turning all his attention back to you; the way you stared up at him with glassy eyes, the way your lipstick smudged under your bottom lip, how your chest heaved (the way your tits looked when you did), how your dress rode up when you pulled yourself onto his desk, tugging him in by his belt loops.

he can’t even find it in him to care about the time-sheets crinkling under your ass when you bite your lip, can’t care you’re his employee and his mind goes blank of everything when you wrap your thighs around his hips. fuck, you’re irresistible like this; arching into him, kissing and biting his jaw, one hand tugging your dress further up your thighs, the other working off his belt to slide into his slacks, searching for more and more, more he wants to give you.

you’re just so, so, so hot… and he’s soft. he’s fucking soft. he finally has you under him and he can’t get it up.

let’s hope the alcohol buzzing through your blood is enough to clear your memory of this in the morning.

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Accidentally In Enemies : Part 3 (S.CB)

Word Count : 2.7k

Warnings : swearing, breakup, food, heartache, angst

A/N : Just the epilogue left now! I'm sorry it took so long to get this part out but I ended up hitting major writer's block with this part. Hopefully the epilogue won't take long to get out so I can start posting the next series soon after the poll is finished!

            It felt like the beginning again. The first day that San broke up with her. She woke up the morning after the dinner, everything processed in her brain, and she didn’t want to get up. Wanted to waste away in bed. Re-reading texts between them, wondering when things went wrong. Scrolling through pictures she had yet to delete, wishing for those days to come back. When they looked so happy together, so in love.

            But Changbin refused to let her waste away in bed. Showing up at her house every single day. He didn’t let her sit with her thoughts for too long, always having something to say. Makes sure she takes care of herself. Helping her realize that this wasn’t the end of her love life, just the end of this chapter.

            She had gotten used to having him around. Expecting him to be knocking at the door at the same time each day. She would find herself pulling herself out of bed to get ready for his arrival. Having a shower, getting dressed, doing her makeup. Why am I trying to impress Changbin? She would find herself thinking. But his knock would pull her from her thoughts, and she wouldn’t think about it until the next day. A cycle. A routine. It’s been so long since she had a routine like this.

            A routine that didn’t seem boring. A routine that had her excited for each day. Changbin helped her find excitement and happiness in each day. Just by being around. She went from absolutely hating him to craving his time and attention. Waiting for classes to be over so she could see him again.

            Until it all seemed to crumble around her.

            The day started the same as it always did. With her getting ready, wondering again why she was trying to impress Changbin. And then he knocked on the door, pulling her from her wandering mind. But when she opened the door, her smile fell, and she was met with Choi San. She went to close the door, but he stopped her, slamming his hand on it, and pushing it back open. “I just want to talk.”

            “Everything has been said and done, San. Let’s face it. Our relationship was over long before the breakup. I realized that recently. I’m over it.” She goes to close the door again, but he stopped her again.

            “You said your piece, can I please say mine?” She stood there, staring at him, tracing his features with her eyes. She could see the bags under his eyes, wondering if he was losing sleep over what happened at the dinner weeks ago. But the obviously fresh hickey proved to her that he really didn’t care about her. He’s here for him.

            “Talk.” San is persistent, she knows that. If she doesn’t hear him out now, he’ll come back again. And again. It used to be one of her favourite things about him. He’d go to her after every fight. If she wasn’t ready to talk, he’d sit with her until she was, letting her know he wasn’t going anywhere. But right now? She hates it. Wishes he could let things be said and done, focus on his new relationship, allow her to focus on herself.

            “Can I come in?” She shook her head.

            “You can talk out here.” He nodded, running his fingers through his hair.

            “I didn’t flirt with Gahyeon or anyone else while we were together, I promise you that. We started texting, but nothing romantic until I officially ended things with you.” He paused to assess the look on Y/n’s face. Try to gauge what she’s thinking, but her face was blank. Her eyes held no emotion. All she did was nod, and turn to shut the door again, but he started talking again. “Please say you believe me.”

            “Let’s say that I do. Where does that leave us? We’re still broken up. You still had someone else in line for when we broke up. Nothing changes. So what was the point of you coming all the way over here to tell me this?” Silence fell over them for a minute while San tried to think of something. “Good talk.” She goes to close the door for a fourth time, but this time stops herself to say one more thing. “Maybe you should make a note in your phone of her favourites. So you don’t forget.” Before San could say anything else, she closes the door.

            He goes to knock again but is stopped by Changbin. “I think it’s pretty clear she doesn’t want to talk to you.” San looks at the door and then back at Changbin, noticing the bags of food he had in his hands. He realizes now that she was expecting Changbin when she first opened the door, smile wide, makeup freshly done. It reminds him of when they first started dating, when he would show up at her house with food and gifts. How she would open the door with the same smile, the same starry look in her eyes. It’s clear to him now that she’s completely moved on, and for some reason, he hates the feeling settling in his chest.

~

            It didn’t hit her until she was gathering her belongings together after class, humming a song to herself that Changbin likes to sing to her, that she was growing attached. She was falling for him. She didn’t think of San anymore. Or the hurt he gave her. She didn’t think of the breakup in the coffee shop with San handing her a drink she barely drank. Or the dinner where San pointed out food she would hate. She didn’t even think of the fact that her relationship with San was over long before either of them walked away. That he had another girl lined up for when he left her.

            She thought of Changbin coming in, sliding her favourite drink across the table like he was the one she was supposed to be meeting up with the whole time. How he knew immediately which meal at the restaurant she would like, knowing the one San pointed out was one she wouldn’t eat. She thought of the way Changbin didn’t let her dwell in the heartbreak. He mended her heart before she could even realize it was broken.

            The realization stopped her in her tracks, steps away from her desk, her bag falling to the floor. She was in love with Changbin. How could she be in love with Changbin? She spent years hating him, wanting nothing to do with him. Now all she wants to do is spend the day with him. Everyday.

            “Are you okay?” Changbin came rushing in, picking her bag up off the ground, looking over her to see if she was injured anywhere. “Are you sick?” When he placed his hand on her forehead, she met his eyes. They were filled with worry and concern. And they were only focused on her. Even with other students around them, he only looked at her. “Let’s get you home and I’ll make you some soup.”

            He slung her bag over his shoulder with no hesitation, wrapping her in his arms, leading her out of the building and to his car. People stared. They whispered. But Changbin didn’t care. He still only looked at her. She stopped walking and reached for her bag, but Changbin pulled back. “You don’t have to do this anymore. It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve seen San. We can end this and go back to the way things used to be.” She held out her hand for her bag, but Changbin softly hit it away.

            “What if I don’t want to? What if I want to continue to be by your side? Did you ever think of that?” She stared at him, unsure of what to say. It never crossed her mind that Changbin wanted to be with her. Despite that being the most plausible reason for him continuing to show up everywhere. She always saw him as someone to hate, someone that hates her just as much. “Let me just take you home. Please.” He sounded desperate. As if he was seconds away from getting on his knees. So she gave in.

            The drive was silent. Unlike the drives in the past, which were usually filled with music, Changbin singing along, looking over at her, and serenading her with every cheesy love song. She would laugh, playfully smack his arm, and tell him he was a dork. But it never stopped him. Not that she wanted him to stop. And now that he’s not, she wishes for nothing more than just to be serenaded one last time.

            “Don’t come around anymore.” She said softly as she got out of his car. “Thanks for all your help.” He nodded and she shut the door. He waited until she was inside to drive away, trying to pretend like his heart wasn’t hurting and his eyes weren’t stinging from holding back tears.

~

            She tried to keep to routine the following days, but without Changbin knocking at her door making her excited for the days to come, the routine seemed to fall apart. It felt like she was back at square one. Pulling herself out of bed, shuffling into the bathroom. She tamed her hair that was knotted all over from tossing and turning, brushed her teeth, and washed her face.

            Her eyes scanned over her makeup when she sat at the desk in her room, glancing up into the mirror. And then she stood up, got dressed, and left her room. “Eat something before you go.” Her roommate called after her. When she turned around, she saw dishes scattered on the table. “Did you and Changbin break up?” Her roommate asked as they sat at the table to eat. “I got used to having him around everyday.” She giggled.

            “Me too.” Y/n mumbled then caught herself. “We weren’t dating!” Her roommate looked at her like she didn’t believe her.

            “Oh please. So he was just coming over everyday with food just because?” Y/n nodded. “Picking you up after class? Taking you out all the time? Late night drives? All just because?” She nodded again, slowly this time, taking in the words. “And look at you now. You look like you’re going through a break up.”

            Y/n looked down at her outfit. It was warm outside so she wore a t-shirt with a pair of shorts. It was comfortable. She thought it was cute. But if Changbin were here to pick her up, she’s sure she would have gone for a skirt instead. Or maybe a little sundress. She would have done her hair better. A touch of makeup. “I’m going to class.”

            “Just admit you guys broke up!” Her roommate calls after her and she slams the door, blinking back tears as she hops on her bicycle. It’s been a while, used to Changbin driving her everywhere. But she took a deep breath, put her ear buds in, and took another second to blink back more tears, and then headed for class.

            She didn’t even notice the all too familiar car sitting across the street. Changbin sitting inside, watching her to make sure she was okay. He wonders if she ate the food he left on the steps for her. Wonders if she wished he knocked on the door. If she misses the mornings they shared the way he did.

~

            When all her classes were done, she packed up slower than usual, nothing to look forward to anymore. Changbin wasn’t waiting for her outside the classroom door with his heart stopping smile. He wasn’t going to take her bag and wrap an arm around her, talking a mile a minute about his day, asking about hers, as he led her to his car. They wouldn’t drive around until they found something to do, somewhere to eat.

            Instead she walks alone to her bike, head down, ignoring all the chatter around her. She’s come to terms with the fact that maybe, just maybe her and Changbin took the fake dating thing a little too seriously. Got a little too close. Became a little too attached. “Y/n.” Her head snaps up at the familiar voice, seeing someone standing by her bike with a nervous smile.

            “What are you doing here?” She grumbled as she unlocked her bike, getting ready to go home. And then she stood up, holding her bike by the handlebars, staring at the man that nervously scratched the back of his neck. “If you don’t have anything to say, goodbye.”

            “Y/n wait, please.” She really thought she’d never see him again. Hoped she’d never see him again. “You and Changbin. Is it true you broke up?” She used to find his nervous habits cute. The way he’d kick his feet, scratch at his neck, barely make eye contact. But not anymore.

            “That’s not any of your business, San.” She answered.

            “Do you want to know why I actually broke up with you?” He asked before she could leave. The question had her stopping in her tracks. She thought she knew. He didn’t love her anymore. He forget everything about her, started to learn about someone new. “You’re right that our relationship was over long before either of us walked away, but do you know why?”

            “Because you fell out of love with me.” She answered, turning around to face him. He shook his head.

            “Because I knew you and Changbin didn’t really hate each other.” She let out a laugh. She remembers telling San all the things Changbin has done to her, said to her. All the times he made her cry. She would say his name with venom lacing her words. “It was only a matter of time before you saw what I did.”

            “What the fuck are you talking about? I despised him.”

            “I didn’t.” She whipped her head around to see Changbin standing there. “I never hated you. I’m just an idiot and a coward.”

            “I got to go.” She said, getting on her bike and leaving before either of them could say anything else. San nodded his head towards her, telling Changbin to go after her. He watched as Changbin rushed to his car, leaving as fast as he could, knowing he was right. He leaned against the bike rack, shoving his hands in his pockets, practically kicking himself for the words that came out of his mouth.

            That’s not how he wanted the talk to go. He just wanted to know if there was any hope for them to start again, but he knew by the look in her eyes when she saw him that the answer was no. It would always be no. He was too late.

~

            Changbin beat her to her house, standing in front of her steps by the time she made it home, a hopeful smile on his face. “Can we please talk?” She took in his appearance. The dark circles under his eyes, the holes in his shirt. It looked like he rolled out of bed and went to class, but why does she still find him attractive?

            “You look like a mess.” She said. He looked down at his outfit and chuckled, shrugging his shoulders, telling her he didn’t think he would be seeing her today, even though he wanted to. “Are you going to give me some cheesy speech about how you’ve always had feelings for me and that made you nervous so you said dumb things and that made me hate you?” He opened his mouth to dispute that but closed it and nodded. “Idiot.”

            “We’ve established that.” He said. She giggled and nodded. “So? Should we give us a real chance?” He looked at her with a hopeful look in his eyes, cocking his head slightly to the side as he waited for her answer.            

“Let’s go inside. We have a new episode of our show today.” She said, taking a step towards him, turning him around, and lightly pushing him up the steps, slipping her hand in his before she opened the door. He smiled at her, holding tighter so she couldn’t slip away this time.  

back to masterlist

@mxnsxngie @maeleelee @turtledove824 @moon0fthenight @dinossaurz

[plistommy]

When Eddie comes back to his trailer from one of his Corrored Coffin’s gigs, all sweaty and smelling like cigarettes, Steve finds it hot every single time.

He’d stare at this boyfriend as he’d yap about his gig and how big the crowd was while taking his clothes off, tight leather pants and firm tank top under his vest, damp with sweat.

Once Eddie threw his top to the floor, Steve had to swallow his moan when his boyfriends shirtless body was on full display, tattoos and nipples hard and all for Steve’s hungry eyes to see.

”Like what you’re seeing?” Eddie grins, pulling Steve away from his dirty thoughts as his eyes finally land on Eddie’s.

”I - uh… yeah. You look really fucking hot.”

Steve sounded so breathless.

Eddie chuckled before he slowly moved to stand beside the bed, legs sliding between Steve’s spread legs as he took his boyfriend's blushed face in his hands.

”You should’ve seen me on the stage. I would’ve made a big show for you, baby.” Eddie murmured, voice slightly hoarse from singing, or more like from screaming.

He pushed Steve’s fallen bangs back, massaging his scalp a little which made Steve bite back a moan.

He had wanted to come and see Eddie’s gig so badly, but his shift hadn’t ended until 12 am - thanks to the holidays - and Corroded’s gig had started an hour before that, so he had just come to Eddie’s place to wait and meet his boyfriend there.

The knowledge still made him pout.

”I know, Eddie- I should’ve, I’m sorry,” Steve whined when Eddie tugged his hair back, making his wet mouth form into a pretty o shape as Eddie looked down at him.

”Don’t apologize, sweetheart.” Eddie caressed his cheek softly and leaned down to kiss him, making Steve moan as he finally felt his boyfriend’s lips on him.

When Eddie pulled back, he gave Steve’s nose a small peck before taking a step back - hand still holding Steve’s cheek - and grabbing the towel from his chair.

Steve hadn’t even realized Eddie had gotten naked.

He couldn’t help but to glance at the nice and thick dick between them.

”I’ll take a quick shower-” Eddie didn’t get to finish because Steve let out a pitiful cry on the bed.

”Nooo—Eddie, please! I need you!”

Eddie looked taken back for a whole two seconds before a knowing smirk creeped its way up to his face.

”You need me?” Steve nodded and Eddie grinned more, ”How?”

”I… I- I need you to fuck me.”

Steve didn’t give a single crap that he sounded so needy and honestly, like a slut. He always has been and he had no shame in that. No shame in begging for his boyfriend's cock.

”I haven’t showered.”

It was like Eddie wanted to be a tease on purpose.

He knew how Steve got off of seeing him getting ready for a gig, at the gig and after it. Eddie was always the hottest he’s ever been when he was doing the things he loved.

Playing, singing and fucking Steve.

And he knew Steve got riled up about his smell, even once catching him jerking off while breathing in Eddie’s sweaty shirt after a gig.

He had fucked Steve stupid, feeding his cock into that tight heat and thrusting his cock in and out so fast that it had made Steve’s toes curl as he cried for more with the shirt still planted next to his face.

So, Eddie acting like he needed to shower was out of the question.

”Doesn’t matter, Eds. I need you to fuck me right now, please please pleaaaaase…” Steve cried as he desperately got on his knees on the bed, not even close to the same level with Eddie’s face, but still closer as he wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck.

”I need your dick inside me.” He whispered against Eddie’s lips and Eddie let out a breathless laugh as his hands came down to squeeze Steve’s ass through his underwear.

”A needy boy.”

”Yes-yes!” Steve nodded hurriedly and kissed Eddie.

Eddie just smiled against his lips before wrapping his hands around the back of Steve’s thighs and manhandling him to lay on his back.

Steve let out a laugh when Eddie came to lay between his legs, body still sticky with sweat.

”You really have a thing for a sweaty and smelly metalhead? I’m surprised I’m not grossing the little Stevie out.”

”Never, Eddie” A kiss, ”God you’re so hot you have no idea.”

”I may have a small hunch.” Eddie grinned and dived right into Steve’s neck, making the younger boy moan happily under him as he was finally able have his boyfriend this close and just smell.

[hazbinfallinginaspiral]

Hey, sorry to trouble you. Unsure of your time zone so i hope this is sent at a good time! (Sorry if it isn't!)

Could you maybe do something with Vox and a Reader who saves him from a surprise attack via a Sinner or Angel?

Kinda the Reader just like 'Oh sorry i got blood on you. Glad you're okay.' With Vox unsure if he wants this person under contact or to kiss them. Or do whatever go nuts!

(I have no idea what timezone I’m in tbh, I’m too lazy to check. As I’m posting this it is 10:50 AM where I live, if that helps anyone. No worries, though! I love answering all your asks and writing out posts based on your requests!)

“Walking downtown, avoiding the paparazzi…” Vox muttered to himself. He’d really done it this time. He was trying to avoid being out of the Vee tower for too long, but he’d taken a detour with almost no Voxtek cameras. Now he couldn’t teleport. It made him uneasy. “God fucking damnit…”

“Stop right there, bitch,” a sinner demon said, pointing a gun at him. Vox froze, but not out of fear. He was surprised first, that a sinner demon would try to hurt an Overlord. This one must be new, or arrogant. But as he looked at the gun, he couldn’t help the tidal wave of emotions that over came him, all memories of compromising situations- similar situations- he’d been in when he was alive. “That’s right, now… put your hands where I can see them.”

Vox absentmindedly complied, still partially reliving every single time he’d had a gun pointed at him before. Every wound he’d received, every bullet he’d had to fish out of his own flesh.

“Good, now-”

The sinner demon was cut off brutally. With an axe. To its neck. Its head came off with ease and you stood behind it, looking surprised. Vox’s eyes widened. Now he was vaguely afraid.

“Oh. I didn’t expect it to be so… fragile,” you said, nudging the corpse of the demon lightly. “Huh. Well, in any case…” you looked up to Vox, an apologetic look on your face. “Sorry about that. Did I get any blood on your suit? I can cover the expenses.”

“I… uh,” Vox was speechless. He’d just frozen up in front of a lowlife sinner demon and had been saved by another, who was now apologizing to him. What the fuck. Something had to be wrong with him, especially with these weird feelings he had in his chest. Felt all fluttery and stupid like butterflies. “My suit is fine. I narrowly avoided the splash zone, I think. Thank you for your offer.”

“Of course! Not a problem,” you said with a smile. Vox noticed you hadn’t stepped any closer to him, you’d kept your distance. But you’d put your axe away. You knew who he was and how dangerous he was, how defenseless you were in comparison, but you were still talking to him. Did you feel superior to him just because you’d saved him? No, that couldn’t be it… you seemed so… genuine. “Seedy part of town for a business man like yourself to be in. I’m guessing the paparazzi were a nightmare today?”

“Oh absolutely,” Vox said with a grin. He was quickly regaining his confident demeanor. “It was absolute torture at that interview! Ah, but don’t tell anyone I said that. It wouldn’t be good for my image. I’m sure you can keep a secret,” he said, linking his arm in yours and walking with you. This was a test.

“Definitely,” you said, with a small laugh. “It’d be far more embarrassing for me, anyway. I mean, the fact I interrupted your walk through town? With murder, no less! That was quite rude of me.” You smiled, carefree and lighthearted as he walked you away. You didn’t even know where he was taking you, but you were still so upbeat. “No worries. If you don’t tell anyone about that little incident back there, I won’t say a word about your occasional distaste for public attention.”

“Wonderful! Sounds like a deal, then,” Vox said, looking down at you. He was pleased with how this whole thing had gone. You hadn’t even seen him as weak for freezing up in front of that other sinner demon! You probably thought he was annoyed or planning to kill the demon himself. His image was safe, you didn’t suspect a thing. You had no idea how vulnerable he’d been in the moment back there. “Say, how about we make another, more official deal? Something with some actual benefits.”

“Really?” You asked, looking surprised. “I mean, I don’t have much to offer. We only just met and-”

“And you’ve piqued my interest, dear,” he said with a smile. He held your arm tighter, more protectively. Whether you agreed to anything or not, he’d be keeping you around. “I have a feeling we’ll get to know each other very well.”

[hyeinkiss]

( ✧ )⠀𝒌. 𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒐𝒐 . . . ℎ𝑎𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒 𐙚

꒷꒦ ❛ if i'm haunting you, you must be haunting me ❜

⟢ forbidden relationship fic && k.sn x f!reader . . . his touch is just so compelling, how could you let go now? ৲ includes kissing, touchy moments, tension, mentions of body, not proofread 😓 sorry !! 2062wc ✧

THE TOWN GUSHED WITH EXCITEMENT, as their beloved princess had just turned 18. everyone knew that she was bound to get married in less than a week’s time.

the only person regretful of this entire marriage was, well, princess y/n herself! your stomach churned at the thought of having to give yourself over to someone you barely knew.

it wasn’t like you didn’t want to be wed, not that. it’s just the person you were destined to marry, that made you uneasy.

your parents told you they had searched the entire kingdom for a suitor for you. you loved them endlessly, and that made it even harder for you to tell them that their efforts had practically gone to waste, considering that your heart was already kim sunoo’s.

he was the boy you truly loved; the same one you’ve been sneaking out to see near the still lake, under dimly moonlit skies every other night.

so here you were, sat atop your flowery sheets under the ughten light streaming through your window. your mind was covered with a guilty haze, filled with uncertainty.

you sighed, pressing on your temples while groggily trying to recall the missing remnants of your dream from last night.

vague memories of the everlasting kim sunoo’s honeysuckle touch flashed in front of your shut eyelids. you were just a moment away from kissing his maddeningly addictive lips before reality hit you hard like a brick.

it all felt so real, you had to remind yourself it was nothing but a mere fantasy (which you childishly couldn’t let go of).

you didn’t have much longer to reflect over your thoughts, however. the cause of your distraction being a single knock on the door, followed by a prim voice which you recognized as one of your ladies-in-waiting.

“can i come in, princess?” she called, and you responded with a shout of approval.

the lady, yeji, peeked her head through the door with a smile on her face. “so, how are you feeling?” the click-clack of her heels echoed all throughout the wide walls as she walked to stand in front of your bed.

yeji was one of the only people who always knew how to make you feel better, but now not even her comforting words and gentle gestures could aide you. still, you kept your face proper and feigned back a smile.

“i’m doing good. i’m excited for tonight.” you looked away, eyes wandering the room and nervousness dripping off your unfaithful voice; it seemed that yeji had noticed.

she placed a hand on your shoulder, you finally looked up at her. “i know it’s a big change, but just know i’ll always be here for you.” her earnest promise touched your heart.

somehow even her stirring words weren’t enough to convince you that you were deserving of the sweet attention you were getting.

you badly wanted nothing but to call it all off, but it was out of your power. all you could do was hold your breath and agree to whatever anyone else said.

“thank you.” your breath hitched; thankfully, yeji paid no mind.

“so! with that all out of the way, do you want to see your dress for the dinner you’re attending tonight?”

“of course,” at the mention of dresses, your interest was quickly piqued, and the mood of the room seemed to have picked up, as well. yeji giggled at the evident ardor in your tone.

the older girl held out the silky fabric, laying it down tactfully over the polished mahogany surface of the table.

you got off the bed slowly, stepping towards the dress. you gasped quietly in adoration. “i can’t believe i’m wearing this!”

yeji nodded in response, and you ran your equally soft hand over the mellifluous piece, glowing aflush when met with the rising sun’s rays.

“it’s very pretty.” you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, looking back up to yeji, who smiled her perfect smile at you.

“great! because it’s all yours.” she quipped.

a few more minutes of lighthearted conversation between the two of you passed, before yeji left, leaving you alone once again with nothing but your thoughts.

POLITE WORDS FILLED the dining room as you stared at the family seated right in front of yours with wide eyes parallel to those of a curious cat.

barely a word left your lips, not that you had a chance to say anything, anyway. most of the talking was done by your parents.

you stared at the glass and plate of food in front of you as if they were the most fascinating things in the world. the sudden interest in your utensils was mostly just a response to the eyes of kim dohyun staring endlessly at you, which you refused to meet. it felt unfaithful, looking at the eyes of the man you were supposed to marry while your heart and mind belonged to someone else.

“oh, i’m so sorry. my other son should’ve been here by now… ah, there he is.” dohyun’s mother uttered small apologies at the expense of her other son, to that your mother laughed, assuring her it was fine.

as you saw who walked through that door, you couldn’t tell if the world was with you or against you. was this a blessing or a curse upon you?

during your hasty, busy mind throughout the past few days, you seemed to have forgotten sunoo’s mentions of his younger brother whenever you guys talked.

it seemed that sunoo had noticed you too, it was obvious. the way his umber eyes, twinkling with cognizance, stared right into yours made your head detach from the material world.

tension between the both of you rose impossibly higher; you wanted nothing but for lighting to strike down upon you at this very moment; painful, but it would undoubtedly take you away from this humbling scene.

sunoo’s shrewd gaze finally left your body, and you noticed a feeling of emptiness float around your chest right as he took his eyes off you. a culpable feeling, but a true one, none the less.

the dulcet sound of him made you lose yourself again, you were so focused on the bittersweetness of his tone that you almost missed his words.

almost.

“have i seen you somewhere before? you look familiar.” sunoo uttered to you, audaciousness dripping of his tone as he pulled out his chair.

oh, he had to be kidding. you bit your lip, eyes squinted and flit to him. his brazen voice really had set something aflame inside of your bones.

was the kim sunoo, the same one you’ve been seeing through rose-filtered eyes for the past few months, mad at you right now? for something you had 0 control over?

it was preposterous.

“yes! you must known me. after all, i am a princess, no?” you smiled, delight in your voice as your head tilted just enough to irk sunoo.

you could tell he was annoyed, his jaw clenched a little and the blueish-green veins etched onto his forehead disturbed his porcelain skin, eroding away his uncaring façade. the covetousness seemed to be messing with his aureate brain, making him act this. you took mind of it, and a small smile danced on your lips.

the last thing your ears took note of was the hushed scoldings that were directed towards sunoo, coming from his mother. the rest of the dinner stayed otherwise silent, if not counting the discussion between the elders of how good you and dohyun’s valueless marriage would be, since those mostly just flew over your head.

THE INSATIABLE TENSENESS of the preceding dinner you had just spent with the kim family was lingering on your mind, but only for so long. it was soon replaced by the urge to once again escape your palace; you wanted no more but to taste the saccharine lips, feel the roseate touch that belonged to the one and only kim sunoo.

it was only a matter of time before you’d succumb to your sempiternal desires.

and the time had ran out.

so here you were, calculated steps hitting the muddy ground as you walked through the inky forest at the dawn of midnight, with whatever light the moon decided to shed on you being your only guide.

you knew sunoo would be around here somewhere, waiting for you. he always was. his clinquant presence shook through your wintry skin, it was unmissable.

and finally, there sunoo stood. you’d predicted it.

still, despite your knowingness, seeing his discernible figure illuminating the somber surroundings felt like a blessing, mostly because of the way your desperate heart had ached for this moment since today morning.

“sunoo.” the five letters rolled off your tongue frictionlessly, like honey; sunoo wasted not a breath to meet your glimpse right as he heard your velveteen voice. the sadness on your serene face hit him hard and instantaneously like a shockwave. it triggered something in him, causing him to walk closer to you mindlessly, like a lamb to the slaughter.

how could sunoo resist you, anyway? he couldn’t.

in his mind, you were nothing short of a crystalline saint adorned with dainty, careful breaths and bewitching cherry eyes that were meant to be cherished.

and he was going to cherish you.

he placed his hand on your face so tenderly, daisy-like fingers resting atop your ceramic cheekbone. with just one sibylline touch, he had you spellbound.

“why are you here, y/n?” a hitch in sunoo’s breath stopped him, but only for a scant moment. “you’re getting married, i’m sure you know.”

the suddenness of his fiery words caught you in a haze, like a fire amidst the crisp winter air.

you sunk your teeth down into your scarlet lip slowly, scanning his wide and soulful irises for any chance of deceit.

gosh, sunoo, why did you have to be so frustrating?

“stop. don’t lie to yourself and me.” it was hard to sound unperturbed right now; in reality, you were on the verge of crying. no amount of fabrication could hide the salty dewdrop tear that rested ever so delicately on your silk woven bottom lashes, as still as a spider egg on its web.

after what you could only describe as a feverish millennia, you spoke again.

“i love you, sunoo.” innocent words yet so sinful. “i don’t care who i’m supposed to be with, please.” the free-falling praise slipped out of your cashmere lips before you could even begin to think.

that was all it took to convince sunoo. he wasted not a mere second before giving into your sworn desperation.

before your mind could render it, his alkaline lips were placed perfectly on yours, and it felt like the sun and moon had reunited.

you craved more of kim sunoo, the illicit sweetness that’s lingered in your reveries for so many nights before.

you gingerly lifted your arms up from your waist and placed them over his drooping shoulders, all the while leaning closer into the silent and still comfort of sunoo’s embrace.

the silhouette of you and sunoo’s intertwined souls stood under the pearly moonlight; this moment felt like a fairytale your mother would read to you before bed.

but you knew better, that this was the farthest thing from a trifling lilac fairytale.

slowly, sunoo pulled away. too soon for your liking.

you barely had a chance to explore the intoxicating enigma that was kim sunoo with that kiss. the greedy lust for more filled your vision, but you suppressed the urge.

“sorry. i couldn’t help it.” he said with an undeniable tameness in his voice that heavily differed from his previous sour tone.

maybe it even made you smile a little, but you wouldn’t know, for you were too busy watching the way sunoo’s rubicund cheeks glowed a pasty pink, framed perfectly by his gossamer hair.

“it’s okay, i didn’t mind.”

and for the remainder of the night, the two of you stood like that: glossy-eyed while soaking up the opalescent presence that radiated off each other. a paragon of beauty, that’s what it was.

that beauty was temporal, however, because as you returned to your stone castle the next day, you’d have to neglect all memories and ties that you held with sunoo; he’d go back to being nothing but a stranger in your world.

a stranger that you knew all too well.

𐙚 . . via's entry ❫ hi sorry for posting at 1am and like pressuring everyone lol!!!! anyways ya i’m so glad to have gotten this out >,< 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ 𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ tysm for reading! 𓂃 back to the LIBRARY !

ৎ networks: @a-dream-bookmark

ৎ perm tl: @sainns , (ask 2 be added !)

[and-her-saints]

Im sorry if this is silly, but like. I connect with catholicism in a lot of ways, in its prayers, its concepts, its aesthetics, etc. But i have a hard time with just. Trinitarianism. It doesn't make sense to me no matter how hard i try to make it make sense. How do i, like, get over this?

hiii! not silly at all!!! i feel like we all have dogmas that confuse us at the beginning. for me, it was the Immaculate Conception. could not wrap my head around it.

the Trinity is a doctrine from the very early Church. and despite the Council of Nicea (325 a.c.) having produced the Creed, many saints and theologians through the years have struggled and wrestled with the doctrine. whoever tells you “it’s easy, it’s clear to understand, you’re just not having enough faith” is honestly being incredibly rude.

St. Agustine of Hippo, one of the most influential theologians and Doctors of the Church, had a hard time with the Trinity as well!!! you are not alone!!! the (medieval) folktale goes that when St. Agustine was leaving Manichaeism and slowly converting back into Christianity, he went out for a walk near the sea to ponder about the Trinity. He could not wrap his head around it. During his walk, he saw a young child digging a hole in the sand. Quickly, the child ran back to the ocean, collected some water into a vase, and went and poured it into the hole. St. Agustine was perplexed. The child did this again, and again, and again. St. Agustine approached the child, and asked him: “My son, what are you doing?” The child turned around and said: “I’m putting the ocean in this hole.” St. Agustine laughed and said, “That’s impossible, the magnificent ocean cannot possibly fit into this tiny hole!” and the tale goes… that this child, who was no ordinary child but an Angel of God, said to Agustine: “I will sooner fill this hole in the sand with the ocean, than you will be able to understand the Holy Trinity.”

When we speak about Mysteries of the faith, like the Mystery of the Trinity, it’s not meant to be the easy answer. It’s not something you “get over,” like a stone on the road. I think it’s more about inviting these uncertainties and questions into your relationship with God. Wrestling and fighting as much as you need. But allowing some Mysteries to be. It’s alright to have questions and doubts, these are not character faults. If anything, in own personal opinion, every single doubt I’ve ever had has been the beginning of a new and exciting new journey of discovery.

Now, unto more solid theological advice. To me, the argument I find most compelling is one of St. Agustine’s points On The Trinity. This whole idea is about digging deep into the reality of God to us as Christians, and the Truths about God we find in 1 John 4:7-21. “God is Love,” we say, but what does that have to do with the nature of the Trinity? I am no theologian, but the way I understand it, is that the Trinity is the response to the statement: “God is Love.” God is Love, therefore, God must love. God must be Lover (the Father), Love (the Holy Spirit) and the Beloved (The Son). How can there be Love, with nothing to Love? The Trinity is the dance in which God loves God, at the same time of God BEING Love, without the whole ordeal being entirely self-serving, stagnant, or exhaustive. This is just the tip of the iceberg, but I am quite in love (badum-tss) with this outlook.

I have not personally read this book, but it is on my TBR, it is Richard Rohr’s “The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your Transformation” (2016) I’ve heard wonders about it. It’s definitely not theology heavy, as far as I’ve researched (for that, I think St. Agustine’s On The Trinity might be best) but it could be an approachable glance at what the Trinity/mysticism about the Trinity looks like.

I hope this kind of helps you out!

[boy-of-death]

I just discovered the call of duty fandom and let me tell you I never read so much fanfic and hc in a week!!!

I will probably never play the game but I will still love those characters till my last breath. I am living for the cod cosplay community on TikTok and yes I was dragged there by the sheer power of our leader,✨💕Brittany Broski 💕✨

So here some fic/hc ideas I would love to read about but didn’t find🥲

• cod men going to the ren faire with reader who’s super excited and make the men dress up too (Simon dressed in a armor 🫠) ( the 141 that decided to go as a team with reader and they all play along and coordinate their outfits)

• gamer cod men that teach reader how to play and are super kind about it (bonus if in exchange reader tech them how to play cozy games like “animal crossing” or “a little to the left”

• cod men doing a date at the museum and reader is just a history nerd and basically do a guided tour and the men are just listening and be like: yup I am in love!

• cod men and reader drinking tea on the outside tables of a cafe and just gossiping about life and people that walked by (soap and reader with sunglasses just judging everyone like nobody could hear them and randomly dropping a “smash” every time someone hot pass them)

• (this one is especially for soap and it’s based on this TikTok https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe9Taj72/ )

Just soap putting a kilt on at every single opportunity he gets because he loves it so much and reader had once said that they like it on him . So that’s how you get soap just rocking the kilt at almost every events they go together and of course, more than one time, there was a LOT of wind (Scotland is windy as fuck) and him being the idiot that he is and never learning from his mistakes, ended up butt naked in front of the whole wedding/party/baptism/family dinner/formal evening with the 141 … (he is a total idiot but I love him)

• cod men when reader put on the broski report every time they take the car and it’s just the both of them being super invested in what Brittany is saying. Bonus if it’s the first time reader put it on and of course it’s one of those episodes where she’s saying the most random shit and the proceeds to talk about religion and philosophy and they’re just there driving being like: “ I don’t know what this woman is saying but she did make some very good points” just becoming massives fan and buying matching sweatshirts with the broski report logo on it for them and reader. And yes, they start quoting her every day and it confuses everybody else!

Well, this was longer than I was expecting (that’s what she said) but for a first real post I’m pretty happy about it! Hope you enjoyed it and If by miracle someone found this post and want to use one of the prompts/hc feel free to use it! (Just tag me so I can see the results !)

✨💕have a nice day everybody!!!💕✨

(Sorry English is not my first language 😅)

[orangeduckweed]

Imagine your Whumpee so beaten and bone-tired exhausted that they can’t even process what’s happening around them anymore - eyes bleary and breath ragged, just wanting everything to stop hurting.

[daily-crowley]

Crowley Of The Day: gorgeous 😍

(I used up all my hashtags that I couldn’t do my usual GO tags that I always do lol I don’t care)

[dahldahlbills]

I really need to get serious about personal projects again