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#I’ve been in therapy for 12 years
philsmeatylegss · 1 year
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Whenever I write something that involves strangers to lovers trope, no matter the plot, I always end up making one character who feels like their only worth in a relationship is sex and the other character stops them and is the first partner who wants to get to know them before having sex. I’m an entire virgin. I have never had sex or have been in a relationship. Writing is putting your feelings and experiences into a story. And my stories always end in this trope and I don’t know what it could possibly mean? It’s never in the original plot I just end up at that trope somehow. It’s unconscious. What does that mean????
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baggedfish · 8 months
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When your card declines at therapy, and they bring out both male presents in your life saying how they will change. But they never do, and you’re back to being eight.
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tabbytiger · 8 months
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Also I’m not even depressed or su***dal.
I’ve just been bored and uninterested in doing anything even eating. I’ve just been skipping meals for a day or two because I’m bored and or when I take a bite of something I immediately lose interest and I just ignore the hunger pangs.
I’ve spent entire days, DAYS, lying in bed in the same position bc I had no energy or motivation to move or get up. Even trying to sit up or at least go to a different room has been difficult. And this specifically have been happening since at least last November, BEFORE I got on adderall.
Even WITH adderall its not doing anything for me other than I think triggering pyschosis bc its a side effect.
I’ve been trembling the past few days too. The dude at the dmv that takes the finger print had to hold my finger down for me bc I couldn’t hold it still 😭 he asked me to redo it like 3 times before finally just grabbing my hand.
If this keeps happening I’mma need them to take me off adderall bc its actively making my psychosis act up. Like I’ve been thinking of lying in my bathtub in the dark at night during an episode because I feel so unsafe in my own bedroom and house. And normal coping methods I usually do are not doing anything. I haven’t used the fucking ‘lock myself in my bathroom and curl up in a fetal position while rocking back and forth’ strategy since elementary school. Except its gonna be in my pc room cuz thats the only fucking door down here with a lock that requires a key to open 😭. If I ask for a lock on my bedroom door my parents are going to call me insane and ridiculous and to stop being paranoid 🥴. Like girl I’m trying thats why I need a lock.
I can’t keep passing out from panic and stress and not remembering falling asleep bro.
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bibleofficial · 2 years
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my brother is being so weird like leave me out of it !!!! i mean he’s having an emotional breakdown or smthg idk but why’s he bringing it to ME !!!! take it to SOMEONE ELSE mr. MONEYBAGS !!!! what do u want from ME !!!! take ur own advice & ‘get over it’ !!!
#diary#like ‘it’s all in ur head !!!’ like yea buddy now u don’t like that it’s in URS huh#wish i cared !#go DRINK ALONE like an ADULT#or do other DRUGS#like sorry i’m spending all my money on drugs & i love it#not him going ‘i love u’ ‘i’m happy that we’re siblings’ girl STOPPPP the DRAMAAA#shut the fuck up !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m not payed enough for this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#he’s like ‘wow work is so tough’ bro u play video games for 6 of the 8 hours u are on the clock#what do u WANT FROM ME !!!!!!!!#i’ve been live typing this since he’s come to bother me#‘do u ever overthink’ what are we 12 i swear to god if he doesn’t threaten to kill himself im going to put my head through a wall ur a grown#he keeps talking abt ‘when u used to go to therapy’ like yea when i went to therapy after telling our father that he was the reason i kept#wanting to kill myself#like nearly 10 years ago & haven’t been back since like 2018 😭😭😭#like if u want to go to therapy do it on ur OWN TIME#bro it’s been like 20 minutes i’m so fucking mad i was going to rest by eyes for 45 minutes before showering but he’s eating up like half of#it & i still have to fucking shower#i’m fumin#the way i’m just laying on the couch silently minding my own business full resting bitch face staring at my phone while he sits on the stool#w his head in his hands like girl get a GRIP#go do this BY URSELF ALONE IN UR ROOM#LIKE EVERYONE FUCKING ELSE IN THIS WORLD#like oh my GOD#if i can do this ??? if i can unhealthily stuff my emotions in myself while relying solely on nicotine caffeine & thc constantly so i can’t#focus on anything in my head :3c#SO CAN U !!!!!#develop REAL addictions douche bag !!!!!#the way he’s saved this shit to pull for MY spring break like ok#so i just can’t fucking enjoy anytbing
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starstyff · 5 months
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Am I too old to be having mental breakdowns or is the world really painful to exist in right now? Am I too old to be having mental breakdowns or am I placing undo stress on myself with no recourse? Am I too old to be having mental breakdowns or have I failed to to give myself grace? Am I too old to be having mental breakdowns or was I told that eventually my moods would even out and I neglected the very real active and conscious effort required for that to be true?
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farttherapy · 1 year
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instagram
Rapey Hollywood hacks copying the ever-loving f-ck outta my ideas.
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madelinemccoolname · 8 months
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Slime girl hrt
So, you’ve decided you’re a slimegirl. I’ve been on fluid replacement therapy, commonly referred to as slime hrt or shortened to frt, for five years but I haven’t managed to find a decent guide on the effects I’ve been experiencing anywhere on the internet. So I’ve decided to make this little guide for anyone who might still be on the fence. Keep in mind obviously I don’t speak for everyone and other goorl’s timelines might look a little bit different based on like genetics or something.
0-6 months
• For the first 3 months the effects are, I’m told, similar to estrogen’s first couple months, you’ll notice for sure your skin getting softer, your face might round out a bit, but the most you get are the side effects
• I personally was not prepared for how thirsty I got, I had heard about it but you really don’t know how much of your body isn’t liquid until you’re replacing all of it
• At 4 months is when I noticed my skin and body were moving kinda differently, tho this got the most pronounced at 6 months
• At 6 months all of my skin rippled like the surface of a pond whenever anyone touched me or like if the wind started blowing
• My joints got a lot more flexible, and my elbows and knees became double jointed (don’t do this too much)
• My hair didn’t get tangled overnight anymore
• My finger prints went away
6-12 months
• Here’s where the real magic starts, I got a lot thirstier for one and specifically had cravings for gatorade, I think this has something to do with slimegirls being partially salt water, but it could also be the food coloring in it (this is a joke about me drinking a lot of light blue gatorade and then being light blue)
• On the subject of color my skin got a sort of blue tinge to it, and most notably got completely see through by my 8 month mark
• The changes start from the thinnest part of your body and goes in towards your core, so even by 5 months your fingertips might be completely clear
• This next part is partially why I wanted to make this guide, so obviously your body doesn’t liquify at the same rate all over, for me this meant I was able to see the muscle in my upper arms if I looked through my fingers, this is both normal and something you’re going to have to get used to as you continue your journey
• Your toes are also going to turn at the same rate, this will probably be your first experience with lint getting in your slime bits, you don’t need to worry about your bloodstream getting infected with sock but regularly picking out bits is good hygiene and something you wanna get into the habit of
• My hair officially finished it’s transition into one solid shape, it still had defined follicles but if you tried to grab a strand of hair the rest would try to come with it
• People also started to ask me who dyed my hair, please note it’s always funny to say “it’s the way Goo-d made me” in response to this
12-24 months
• This window is larger than the others because all you’re going to notice from now on are the big changes
• Avoid tanktops past 14 months, your arms should be entirely translucent at this point and while having a buncha stuff floating around in my goo is kinda gender for me, people generally do not like to see slightly dissolved organs and ribcage
• 14 months was also when I noticed that my arm bones had entirely disappeared, my leg bones were also just barely holding in there, moving without bones was so freeing
• if you ever want anyone you know to stick their fingers in your slime, now’s probably the first time anyone's willing to stick their fingers far into your arms and legs, try to get them to wiggle their fingers. if they’re really adventurous they’ll stick their whole arm through to the other side, which still makes me a little squeamish
• Now that we’re at the part where I was mostly slime, we should probably talk about slime color. I’m going to dispel this misinformation, there is no way to find out what color a slimegirl is going to be before she starts transitioning. Some people say its eye color but that’s a lie. I am naturally a blue slime girl but my eyes pretransition were green. To dispel another myth you can dye yourself with food coloring, so you don’t even really have to stress about it
• By 18 months the only part of me that wasn’t slime was my head, the skull takes the longest time to dissolve because you’re doing the skull and all the organs in there all at once, see the human body really really wants to keep the brain safe, so when your brain gets the signal to get rid of your bones, it just does it all at once
• Some people say their eyesight got better, tho that seems to be anecdotal (mine stayed the same sadly)
• 18 months is also when I started experimenting with my shape. This was probably the most frustrating part of it for me, shapeshifting your goo is like a muscle, the more you do it the easier it’ll get. If you want a specific shape, spend enough time in it, and it’ll become your default shape, though you’ll never forget your original shape.
• 24 months is the last point I want to cover, by 24 months I was 100% liquid, the heavy viscosity from early transition leads to something closer to a liquid jello. I can detach parts of my body and then move to replace it, and I can reabsorb the parts I leave behind
• Clothes should rest just on the surface of you, though I know a lot of girls just change themselves to look clothed (probably more than you think ;)
• Suspenders and heavy cardigans break surface tension for me, luckily that's also a cute look so sometimes I match my cardigan with overalls for an aquarium effect on the overall straps
• This was also when I stopped breathing and going to the bathroom
• Some people report “knowing” when certain parts of their brain turn into goo, I didn’t experience that but it certainly could happen
Things I didn’t know where else they would fit
• I feel like a lot of this post was mainly dry, so in the interest of avoiding having a dry slime girl post, this section will mostly just be slime things that brought me joy
• I love speaking in slime puns, I keep a little book of slime puns and slant rimes just in case the slime arises that i would ever ooze some
• Being out in the rain or being out on a windy day is so much better when you can feel your entire body move in the wind, in particular go out on a rainy day without anything on, and lay down on the ground, the rain rippling through your entire body is heavenly
• Speaking of weather, when I first noticed I was refracting light on a sunny day I almost started crying, I felt so pretty and right :)
• I said I stopped needing to use the bathroom, but I still do siphon off some goo once a month. Mostly this is to get out bits of trash that accumulate and also because it feels exactly like taking a shower after a hard sweaty day’s work
• Speaking of bits, get a powerful magnet and metal shaving and you could probably waste a whole day just moving metal shavings through your body
• This might be a bit late in the guide for this, but when my arms finally turned I pulled a great prank on my at the time girlfriend by sticking my hand into a blender (do not do this if you still have bones, or value your girlfriend not being really really mad at you)
So that's all you need to know before starting frt, becoming the slime of your dreams is a difficult and beautiful process. I know a lot of what i described here might be frightening but if it sounds enticing at all know that it’s worth it.
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jiminjamms · 30 days
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sex therapy :: 30. breaking news
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chapter tags/warnings: manipulative! naoya. physical aggression. verbal abuse (not to reader). infidelity/adultery. extremely strong language. corruption. family drama.
word count: 3.4k
notes: thank you again for your patience with the chapter! life update: i resigned from my company (on good terms, even though the work had sucked my mental and physical health), and i am soon doing a trip to japan and southeast asia as part of my recovery. still, i will be actively writing and responding since this community is so important to me! also, has anyone been keeping up with jujutsu kaisen's manga?! likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. xoxo
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fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.
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Life without a sugar daddy was rough.
As Toji Fushiguro's ex-wife and Naoya Zenin's ex-mistress, Mari faced this harsh reality since no one threw their money in her direction anymore. She slept little this past week, overwhelmed by financial stressors. While she still subsisted on the younger executive's credit card (with his fortune, Naoya hardly noticed the charges on his bill), she realized that she actually had to work for an income.
Such was the case as Mari walked home one evening after interviewing for jobs, her body and mind exhausted from fielding mundane questions about her previous professional experiences (which she had little of).
Upon unlocking her apartment door, she was immediately greeted by the sight of her illuminated living room.
That struck her as odd.
She always switched the lights off before she left.
However, when she spotted a familiar face down the hall, she found the answer.
"Tsumiki." Mari dropped her purse by the door. "What are you doing here?”
The woman had not seen her one and only blood-related child in months. While she knew that her daughter—who was, without doubt, a fantastically accomplished and intelligent young lady—just completed her second year at Oxford University, she thought the girl had chosen to remain in England for her summer break. Didn't Toji mention that she did not want to return to Tokyo?
Not that Mari complained. She was just...confused.
Admittedly, Mari should know the answer to her question, but she had been too ‘occupied’ to contact Tsumiki as much as a good mother should. As a result, Mari found herself in the dark about the girl's life in the United Kingdom, her plans for the university holiday, and her recent classes in…what was her field of study again?
Surely, Toji and his twerp son Megumi would know all the answers since Tsumiki had always been closer to her Fushiguro stepfamily. Quite a shame, since Mari would have considered her daughter as the most perfect angel otherwise.
She toed her shoes off.
“When did you arrive in Tokyo?” Mari continued with a plastered smile and approached the girl sitting with crossed arms in the living room.
Genetics ran deep between mother and daughter. Uninformed observers might even mistake the pair as sisters, the physical resemblance uncanny in how Tsumiki presented a more youthful version of the older woman by sharing the same warm chocolate-colored eyes, long dark hair, and flawless porcelain skin.
Yet, physical similarities meant nothing when Mari could not fully decipher her own flesh and blood.
“I came back to Japan earlier this week,” Tsumiki responded a terse edge in her tone.
“But I haven’t seen you until now.”
“Because I’ve been staying with Dad.”
“Oh.” So, she meant with Toji. “You mean your stepdad.”
“No,” she corrected sternly. “He's my dad.”
Theoretically, Mari could go into a whole tangent on how Tsumiki’s actual father was some middle-class nobody whom she hadn’t seen or spoken to since her first divorce (and that was many years ago). Or how the Fushiguros technically were Tsumiki’s ex-stepfamily since Mari had divorced her second husband Toji earlier this year.
But she spared her daughter from the reminders.
“Well, I’m glad to see you back, honey.” With a bottle of unfinished cabernet sauvignon in the fridge, Mari meandered to the kitchen to pour herself a full glass. She returned to living room and joined her daughter on the sofa. “How have you been? I’m guessing England has been treating you well? I have never been, so I wouldn’t know. Heard that the fish and chips are good there."
No response.
Am I being ignored? Mari commented inwardly and swirled the red wine in her chalice.
She took her first sip amid the long and awkward pause before switching the topic to encourage conversation. "Anyway, whenever you would like, you’re always welcome to stay a few nights here. Wouldn't hurt to spend some more time with your mother."
Only for Tsumiki to quip, “We’ve talked about this before. I don’t want to live with you.”
Now, this—Mari believed—was certainly uncalled for. "Watch your tone with me, young lady."
"For what? I am not here because I miss you," her daughter resumed. "If I had a better option, I would not bring myself to show up here and be in front of you."
The older woman placed her glass down and tried to appear calm. Hearing Tsumiki speak with such contempt twisted a deep knife into Mari's heart. Once upon a time, her daughter had been the sweetest girl—warm, full of life, and eager to express her innocent thoughts with anyone she encountered. Now, however, that same person had been tainted into someone cold, guarded, and withdrawn, demonstrated by her disrespect to the very woman who had given her life.
"That is no manner to talk to your mother," Mari cautioned.
"Well, maybe because I have my reasons."
"Which are?"
"Do you want to know why I did not bother to text or call you these past several months?" and Tsumiki did not wait for an answer before she angrily added, "Because I am so upset that you filed a divorce with Dad!"
While Mari had hoped to not bring up the topic before, she had no choice but to do so now.
"That big, burly, bulky man is not your father," she snapped. "He and his emo Harvard-bound son are not your family! In the eyes of the law, there is no longer any relation between you and them. But, I am your mother. I had given you life, and this is what you think of me?"
"Because I love them!" Tsumiki opposed through a hardened glare. "Dad and Megumi treat me more like their blood-related family than you do!”
Mari could not believe the preposterous words her daughter spewed. She always presumed that the Fushiguros had been corrupting her child, and to see her suspicions confirmed had Mari standing up promptly from the couch.
"How dare you say after all I have done for you, Tsumiki?" Mari interrogated angrily. "Did you think that I left your biological father and then divorced your stepfather for what...for fun?! These choices were difficult for me, too! But I made those judgments because I wanted to give you a better life in which we didn't have to worry about where our next meal, our next piece of clothing, or our next rent payment would come from! Your biological father is a no-name nothing. He could’ve never supported the lavish lifestyle you had experienced during your adolescent years. In fact, if I hadn’t married Toji Fushiguro, you probably wouldn't be studying at the University of Oxford right now! I, alone, could never have afforded all your years of expensive tutors or private school tuition. Please, think before you speak. I know I did not raise an ungrateful brat.”
Tsumiki furrowed her brows from the comments.
“You're the ungrateful one, Mom!” she insisted, and the said woman visibly reeled back when the girl continued to seethe with antipathy. “All the money that you had spent while married to Dad, he never asked for a single cent back. Never. In fact, he still pays for my university. In his eyes and mine, I’m as good as any blood-related child to him. He hadn't asked you to chip in because he knows you wouldn't have the money to. Divorcing the man you've been leeching off of isn't a sign of appreciation, Mom."
To hear her child defend another family, Mari wasn’t sure if she was going to laugh or cry at how ridiculous this scene was, the only thing she could process being the pain and betrayal that slammed her with one bitter blow.
"Well, did you want to become a laughingstock?" the woman rationalized. "Given our ties to the Zenin name when Toji left the company, those nasty journalists would've clung onto any scrap to label you a buffoon. You know what those tabloid writers are like! I had the foresight to divorce that man. I did not want the disgrace if we remained attached to the Fushiguros."
After that response, Tsumiki turned quiet with one sharp exhale as her eyes snapped shut, and Mari, whose entire body had undulated from heavy and irate breaths, thought that finally—finally—she had won this godforsaken argument.
Until she heard the younger girl speak again.
"Yet, you have humiliated me more than anyone," and noticing how her mother quirked a brow, Tsumiki went on. "Who are you really trying to protect, Mom? Are you truly making these decisions for my benefit? Or is it...for yourself?"
Despite hiding a gulp, the older woman noticed her heart race. "What do you mean?"
"How can you explain this?"
As though that was her cue, Tsumiki reached for her phone. She tapped onto the front page of the Yomiuri Shimbun, the most highly circulated newspaper in Japan. Before Mari could read the bold title labeled as 'Breaking News,' Tsumiki provided her with a verbal summary:
"The world knows you're a homewrecker, Mom."
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Naoya found no surprise when Naobito Zenin burst into his executive suite as an angry bull would charge toward a provoking cape.
Plenty of times, his father barged into his private office completely unannounced, slamming the door open with enough force to rattle the wooden bookshelves behind him. Usually, the dramatic entrance would be followed by a slew of harsh admonitions, and this encounter—Naoya could tell—would be no different.
The astringency cast on his father's countenance gave the executive no other choice than to rise from his seat, his office chair sliding back so he could pose tall and confident as the heir to Japan's largest conglomerate should be.
"Father," he greeted, curt.
Taking hurried steps around his mahogany desk, Naoya aimed to meet the older man halfway until he instead came into contact with one harsh blow that sent his face flogging to the side.
Naoya froze, his gaze lowered.
Instinctively, he reached for his throbbing cheek with one hand as the other wiped briefly over his busted upper lip. To have his father approach him physically like this didn't even register as a surprise. Despite his title as the Zenin CEO, Naoya continued to be scolded, lectured, and outright ignored because, in his father's words, he 'never seemed to get anything right.'
Even now, the older man found no hesitation in cursing out his only child.
"You fucking son of a whore! Want to explain why your affair with Toji's ex-wife is all over Japanese media?!"
Slowly, Naoya lifted his eyes from the floor. He had suspected that this would be the topic of discussion. In the last hour, Naoya saw his name plastered over tabloid pages, news websites, and social media feeds as an anonymous whistleblower tipped publishers in regards to his scandalous affair with Mari—and the millions Naoya spent to hide it. Evidence ranging from supposedly long-gone paparazzi photos to screenshots of money transfers circulated quickly with the internet.
Naturally, Naoya had seen the headlines too...
'Zenin Corporation CEO Exposed for Concealing Affair with Predecessor's Ex-Wife' 'Everything to Know About the Zenin Household's Uncovered Drama in Family, Business, and Love' 'Billionaire Naoya Zenin Entangled in Cheating Scandal, Accused of Bribing Press to Silence Coverage'
...and the comments:
'That’s why you can’t trust rich people. They never have any shame.' 'His wife and company deserve better.' 'Disappointed that this is the scumbag leading our country's largest company.' 'The Board should fire him.’
Now, that last comment struck a very particular chord, especially since the Chairman of that very Board stood before him.
Naoya clenched his hands, yet he stood mute. With every wrong move certain to cost him far too much in return, he was completely powerless in front of the family patriarch and, as a result, his first logical reaction was to defend himself.
"I do not have the evidence yet, but I am certain Toji had planned this, Father. Him, and also Sukuna, Geto, and Choso. All four leaked these details because they didn’t want to see your son succeed. I will resolve this. I am going to call Toji immediately and—“
"You're right," Naobito interrupted coldly. "If Toji had still been CEO today, he would've made sure that none of this bullshit would’ve happened.”
Naoya widened his eyes in bewilderment, not anticipating his father to twist his logic like that. He already received a literal slap across his face, but to realize that Naobito still compared him to his older cousin all these months later drove him insane!
"No, Father. What I meant was—"
"Oh, there is no need to correct me. I know what you meant," Naobito tested in a low voice. "What I gathered from this conversation is that I have given you a million chances in life, and you know what? You blew every single one of them. You're an asshole, you're a cheater, and you're a complete humiliation. I can always count on you to paint me as a failed father."
Outrageous.
With the bitter staring contest between father and son, the latter boiled internally listening to the insults from the man who sired him. For the ruthless Naobito Zenin, Naoya meant no value as an heir without the ability to achieve his high standards. 
"Some twisted brain you have for sleeping with your cousin's ex-spouse,” Naobito then chided, yet amusement remained absent in his tone. “Was that the low-class tramp I saw in the photos with you on the private jet the other day?"
The blonde kept his mouth shut.
But his father wanted an answer. "Well?!"
Suck it in, Naoya. That's all you can do now. "Yes."
What a sight, to see how someone blazing as a furious flame then erupt into a violent volcano. Naobito grabbed his son's collar, pulling him forward and shoving him against the wall. His fists shook as he sought the other's gaze.
"You're fucking married, you realize that?!" he snarled.
"I do! Which is why I have cut Mari from my life! I don't talk to that woman anymore."
Unimpressed, Naobito tugged forcefully at Naoya's shirt again. "I am truly astonished by what an idiot you are. Your answer doesn't change shit." He tightened his grip and did not care that his son wrapped both hands around his wrist to prevent himself from choking. "Let me tell you something, boy. I did everything—everything—to convince our Chief Operating Officer to let his treasured daughter marry you, you despicable bastard. He didn't want to hand the girl over because he knew—oh, that man is wise!—he knew that the union mainly served as a tactic to improve your public image and that there was little obvious benefit for his child. Power and money did not interest him when compared to his daughter, so the one promise I made is that you would love her," and he roared, "so, what the hell have you done?!"
Naoya had heard his father’s warnings countless times, yet he previously brushed each one aside with an ambivalence he now acknowledged as foolish. Unlike before, the threat to his hard-earned position suddenly became very, verypalpable. He grappled with a strange fear, unable to pinpoint what precisely unsettled him the most. The scorn from a world that no longer saw him as an honest businessman? The sneers from relatives with an undeniable reason to mock him? Or perhaps the fury from his draconian father, whose disappointment cut deeper than any public disgrace?
"I—" Naoya's choked voice resembled a croak. He could hardly breathe. "I apologize. This entire situation...this got out of my control."
Alongside his callous disregard for his son’s feelings, the Zenin patriarch even scoffed.
"This isn’t about getting out of your control, boy. This is about your complete lack of judgment. In fact, Daisuke called me when he saw the headlines, and you know what he told me?" and he had to refrain from flinging his son onto the ground before he continued, "That Y/N's been staying in her family residence again because she is going to leave you!"
Naoya held his next breath. Fuck, he knows. Naoya intended to keep his recent arguments with you a secret, hoping to resolve the situation first. However, since your father snitched...lying would be a dangerous move.
"I have not seen Y/N in a week because we've had a few fights." Naoya did not dare admit the details about how you two became arguing spectacles, first in his cousins' presence and later on at the café. "Just...marriage quarrels. We will get over—"
“She would be a moron to stay married to you,” Naobito cut off. "Y/N and your unborn child deserve more than to have a public disgrace like you in the household."
Right. Had he not been reminded, Naoya would've forgotten that he had lied to his father about your pregnancy, too. His hands grew clammy where they still seized his father’s wrist.
“There"—a cough—"there is no child,” Naoya blurted out, determining to rip all bandaids off in one go.
Naturally, his father became perplexed.
“Excuse me?” His hold loosened just enough for Naoya to gasp properly for his next breath.
“Y/N is not pregnant,” Naoya repeated, his voice hollow with resignation. “During our last family dinner, I only said that because I wanted to please you.”
The older Zenin became still, appalled by the younger one's bravery to say those words. For a moment, Naoya braced himself for another physical blow before his father released him, shoving Naoya backward such that he stumbled.
“If you weren’t so disappointing, there would be no need for you to lie to me,” Naobito pointed out coldly. "Not only to me, but also your wife, your colleagues, and your shareholders on matters about your family, your marriage, or your commitment to the company. If Toji had not brought this to the media's attention, how much longer would you have manipulated the truth for your benefit?"
There he went again.
"I don't understand," Naoya protested, unable to contain his frustration any longer. "Toji doesn't belong in this family anymore! Why do you keep talking about him? Father, you forced him to leave earlier this year, citing his threat to our family and company's reputation."
"You're the one to talk!" Naobito shot back. "At least Toji has the brain that you utterly lack." Before the younger man could react, the Chairman had already turned on his heel. "I have made my decision."
His decision?
A confused Naoya watched his father head for the exit.
"Wait, Father...!"
"Enough!" The infuriated man raised a hand right as he neared the door, a warning for him to not speak further. "Our discussion has concluded. Effective immediately, Toji Fushiguro has been re-instated as the Zenin Heir and CEO."
Instantly, Naoya slumped forward in disbelief.
Even as the older man disappeared, the room appeared to spin dangerously. Toji Fushiguro...re-instated? As the heir and CEO?
Naobito Zenin could never make up his mind, now could he? In Naoya's head, this must be some cruel joke.
Ever since he comprehended his ability to bend fate to his will, he had promised himself to fight tooth and nail to defend the (very rightful!) position that he worked hard to earn. He had disposed of his cousin through slander, he had to put up with shitty corporate politics, and, hell, he had to even marry you!
Some may label Naoya's current negative publicity as irredeemable, but he held hope the situation would normalize once the steam blew over.
With these thoughts in mind, Naoya regained his balance and rushed out as well. "Father!"
However, by the time he reached beyond the doors, Naobito Zenin was no longer there. Even his secretary could not be found as, instead, two imposing figures stood by the desk where his assistant should be. Naoya didn't recognize them. The men were tall and well-built, their muscled arms and thighs visible despite the fabric that covered their tattooed skin.
"Nice to meet you," one started after the long silence. "I am Eso and this is my younger brother Kechizu."
A stumped Naoya frowned.
"May...I help you?"
"No," the other answered nonchalantly, "because we are here to knock you out."
"Wha—"
And Naoya's vision went dark.
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last chapter || next chapter
end notes: Note that Eso and Kechizu are Choso's younger brothers in JJK. (Both are not completely human in canonverse, but we shall suspend beliefs.) Also, I cannot explain the satisfaction as I wrote about Naoya and his mistress finally getting wrecked! Talk about justice being served! There were many ways these scenes could have played out, but I strategically chose Tsumiki and Naobito as the agents in the discussions. Freed from corporate America handcuffs, I plan to post again soon. Love you all!
taglist: @dissociatingdiva @httpsplanetmarsdotcom @nemoyr @huangfairy @shadowarchon @203steph @agentdedf1sh @cloudybabes @lynn-writes-things @illicitwriter @7oji @kikuchimi @chaoticjojofan @musicisme333 @kumocchin @s-guru @mwahilovemylife @hey-gurls69 @cloudsinthecosmos @moon-mumu-moon @kazscara @skilerfrostfairy @funicidals @nico707 @proteovaldez @tsukiyohanayome @marimoares @qirbys @puffaloxx @sakanoshitaa @arizzuruu @kissditrio @lewd-bunny14 @mistyheart @szired @supsii @yvy1s @lazyassfinals @katkbc @tokyometronetwork @downtown-roponggi @the-cosmos-network
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p3ndeja6 · 4 months
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₊ ⊹🪻 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🔮
n.amaro x reader
summary: you were younger then nick by a couple of years, and sometimes he’d come over to your apartment after late nights at the precinct, he’d come over to just enjoy peace and serenity
content: fluff, reader is in school (2nd or 3rd year of college) suggestive acts (nothing extreme), age gap!, mentions of sexual abuse due to svu cases, nothing too triggering, just a fluffy one shot overall
super short
✧ ✧
it was late at night, you were working on an essay that was due by the end of the week.. you were getting strained and decided to take a break and call it a day.
You made yourself a quick meal, spicy buldak noodles, a sandwich and your favorite drink that was saved in the fridge. You prepared your meal as you were watching your favorite show. you were almost done preparing your late-night snack when you heard the doorknob shake.
You lived a pretty safe vicinity so the chances of a burgler were slim, but you still were vigilant about your safety, you quickly grabbed your broom and held it tight.
Upon your discovery, the door opened and you saw your boyfriend… nick.
You sighed of relief, and he looked at you worried
“Jesus Nick, you scared me!” “geez sorry, i thought this neighbor was safe?”
you put the broom down, “I mean it is but you never know” “yeah.. tell me about it”
he walked to you as you went back in finishing preparing your ramen, he went behind you and grabbed you hips and nuzzled his head in between your neck, kissing you, making you giggle due to his stubble
he continued and you moved your head slightly to give him more access, he took this as a sign to continue. You tried not to get distracted but you let a soft moan escape.
he laughed,and started moving up your body; cupping your boobs. You laughed and finally pushed him away
“stop Nick” you laughed “I want to eat, I’ve been working on an assignment for the past 5 hours.” he let go and laughed “my hard working girl, okay okay I’ll let you eat but next time, you’re all mine!”
you shook your head in sarcasm, he took of his jacket and unbuttoned his white shirt a couple of buttons down, and took off his shoes. He adjusted himself on your couch, and laid there with his eyes closed taking in the aroma therapy essential oils diffuser thats going around your room.
you look at him, now realizing that he’s here strangely. Nick stops by late nights most weekends or if it’s a weekday he’ll let you know earlier in the day if he’s stopping by, but it’s currently a Tuesday at 12:36 am.
“hey Nick?”
he hummed in response, most likely getting sleepy
“not to sound rude or anything.. but why are you here? It’s late on a Tuesday night, shouldn’t you be at your place?”
He opened one eye and looked over at you
“do you not want me here?” He said a bit suspicious
“oh god, no like yeah I do, but I just realized what day it was and you know you usually let me know when you’re coming over and it’s usually weekends you spend the night with me, I just found it odd you came to visit me tonight” “I love it when you’re here really”
you finally finished your ramen and took it towards the couch where Nick was, and started eating as you waited for a response.
he was hesitant in his answer, he seemed stressed and frustrated.
“today we had a tough case.. a rape case..”
you look at him attentively, making sure you are hearing him and that he has your fullest attention.
you nod in continuous
“and well… it’s about a 8 year old girl who’s after school teacher has been acting inappropriately with her.. you know like touching her where she shouldn’t be touched”
“oh my god” was what you let out
“yeah, and her home life isn’t easy, this one was a bit tough to work on dude to how young and bright this little girl is. I hate to see anyone take it away from her”
you put your ramen down and get close to him, caressing his hand.
“and being here.. with you just brings me peace. All is perfect here, so sorry i came unexpected but i really needed to see you”
you smiled at him
“awe baby, you know you are always welcomed here, I love having you here, never goes a day where I don’t miss you”
you make him look at you and caress his cheek, looking so attentively at his eyes, leaning in and kissing him so gracefully.
he takes you in, and guides a hand on your neck. You move to his lap and continue to kiss him, sucking on each others lips, and you slightly grinding on him
he groans a bit and you continue to bit his lip. You pull away with his lip in between your teeth and stare at him and run a finger across his now plumped lips
“thank you for coming over”
“thank you for having me”
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runnning-outof-time · 8 months
Note
Hello! Can I request John with "Do you actually love me?"
Hi there @kpoploverxx-12 ! Thanks so much for sending this in! I’m sorry it took so long for me to write it! I hope you like what I did with it! This is my favorite John fic that I’ve written in a long time….it might even be my favorite fic of this celebration. Enjoy! :)
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
Part of my 3.5k Celebration — find more stories here!
Exactly Like That
John Shelby x Reader
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Warnings: none
Word Count: 683
Summary: Two friends become a something a little more than that when John lets those three words slip.
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John and (Y/N) were sitting on the bank of the Cut, like they usually do. They’d gone there nearly every Friday for the last ten years, spare the years when John was away at war. Whenever he’d come home though, they’d somehow find themselves sitting there.
In a way, it became like their therapy. The calming sound of the water flowing became the backdrop that the two would share their goings on to.
It was there that these two became closer to each other than anyone else in their lives.
John just finished telling (Y/N) what was happening in his family. She was the one person who would listen to everything and not tell a soul. She did so because she knew John would do the same for her. They were both thankful for each other in that regard.
“You’ll get through it, John. You always do,” she said to him, a smile forming as she turned to face him. “And hey, if you don’t, I know that I’ve got a handsome amount of money coming my way,” she joked then, cracking up at her own statement.
John couldn’t help but laugh. Her laughter was like music to his ears. It always instantly put him in a better mood. “I love you,” he admitted once his laughter died down and he’d been watching at her as she came down from her fit of giggles from a few moments ago.
“Yeah,” she agreed, not really hearing what he said at first. Silence fell over them as (Y/N) looked down to the water again. Then it clicked. “Do you actually love me?” she asked, a seriousness present in her voice that hadn’t been there seconds ago. This conversation had essentially changed tones on a dime.
“Yeah, course I do,” John responded without a second thought.
(Y/N) froze for a moment, her heart rate quickening. “Yeah, well not like that, right?” she scrambled to ask while mentally telling herself to calm down and not get ahead of herself.
John’s eyes danced over her face for a moment, taking her features in before the slightest smile graced his lips. “No, exactly like that,” he spoke with sincerity, like it was the most important thing he’d ever said.
(Y/N) let out a breath, her eyes going wide as she quickly looked straight again. She was freaking out now, and she didn’t want him to see it. In all their years of friendship, she never thought that things would get to this point…where she’d make her feelings for him known.
Nothing was said as John reached over and gently took hold of (Y/N)’s chin so that he could guide her eyes back to his. They held eye contact for a few moments, the air around them holding this weird tension that neither of them had experienced before.
John just had to break it. “I love you, (Y/N). Have since you and I was kids,” he told her, speaking softly due to their proximity, but she heard every word clear as day. She also didn’t miss his eyes as they flitted down to her lips. There was no hesitation in her moving the slightest bit closer to him, showing him that she wanted exactly what he wanted. He licked his lips before continuing, “…been wantin’ to do this for a long time too,” he breathed, giving her no time to respond - if she even wanted to - before he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.
The kiss felt exactly like those kisses that are described in the romance novels…the ones that sweep people off of their feet. (Y/N) was thankful that they were sitting, because otherwise she wasn’t sure if she could trust her legs to hold her up.
“I love you too, John,” she breathed against his lips once they broke the kiss. Her eyes were closed, but she was able to feel his smile, and that alone made her smile. Nothing else was said as their lips met again…nothing more was needed to be said.
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**tags in reblogs so that hopefully they get sent
MASTERLIST
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star-anise · 7 months
Text
reading supercut: disability, body image, and trauma
A glimpse into the clothes thrashing around in the washing machine of my mind, with apologies that it is still a wet lump and not an actual synthesis of ideas.
From Easy Beauty: A Memoir by Chloé Cooper Jones:
[This event] embedded a damaging idea in me, one I’d recognize deeply when I read Scarry years later: beauty was a matter of particulars aligning correctly. My body put me in a bracketed, undercredited sense of beauty. But if I could get the particulars lined up just right, I could be re-seen, discovered like the palm tree is discovered. To be deserving of the whole range of human desires, I had to be extraordinary in all other aspects. In this new light, I started to see my work, my intellect, my skills, my moments of humor or goodness, not as valuable in themselves, but as ways of easing the impact of my ugliness. If only I could pile up enough good qualities, they could obscure my unacceptable body. [...] accepting the argument that beauty was malleable came, for me, with a cost. The Platonian view rejected me cleanly, but Hume and Scarry left a door ajar and I’ve spent a lifetime trying to contort my form to see if I could pass through it.
From Til We Have Faces: A Myth Retold by CS Lewis:
I now determined that I would go always veiled. I have kept this rule, within doors and without, ever since. It is a sort of treaty made with my ugliness. There had been a time in childhood when I didn't yet know I was ugly. Then there was a time (for in this book I must hide none of my shames or follies) when I believed, as girls do — and as Batta was always telling me — that I could make it more tolerable by this or that done to my clothes or my hair. Now, I chose to be veiled.
From Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy of Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha Linehan:
Inhibited grieving is understandable among borderline patients. People can only stay with a very painful process or experience if they are confident that it will end some day, some time—that they can "work through it," so to speak. It is not uncommon to hear borderline patients say they feel that if they ever do cry, they will never stop Indeed, that is their common experience—the experience of not being able to control or modulate their own emotional experiences. [...] In the face of such helplessness and lack of control, inhibition and avoidance of cues associated with grieving are not only understandable, bur perhaps wise at times. Inhibition, however, has its costs. [...] Volkan (1983) describes an interesting phenomenon, "established pathological mourning", which is similar to the pattern I am describing. In established pathological mourning, the individual wishes to complete mourning, but at the same time persistently attempts to undo the reality of the loss.
From How to Respond to Criticism by Danny Lavery:
Apologize, but don’t really mean it, and plant a seed of secret resentment so deep in your own heart that years later you can’t even remember that you’re the one who nurtured it and made it grow, it seems that much like a native part of you.
From Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed:
[After learning that state child protective services had made a budgetary decision to only intervene with children under 12, to one of the teenagers that regularly shared stories of abuse at home] I told her it was not okay, that it was unacceptable, that it was illegal and that I would call and report this latest, horrible thing. But I did not tell her it would stop. I did not promise that anyone would intervene. I told her it would likely go on and she’d have to survive it. That she’d have to find a way within herself to not only escape the shit, but to transcend it [...] I told her that escaping the shit would be hard, but that if she wanted to not make her mother’s life her destiny, she had to be the one to make it happen. She had to do more than hold on. She had to reach. She had to want it more than she’d ever wanted anything. She had to grab like a drowning girl for every good thing that came her way and she had to swim like fuck away from every bad thing. She had to count the years and let them roll by, to grow up and then run as far as she could in the direction of her best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by her own desire to heal.
From Essays in Aesthetics by Jean-Paul Sartre:
Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
From "I Know What You Think of Me" by Tim Kreider:
if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.
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the-au-collector · 3 months
Text
Feeling a little chatty tonight so here’s some random LU headcanons for both the canon boys and non-canon ones:
I always headcanon Spirit to be around 18. While I love the idea of him and Wind being uncannily similar, I can’t get over the fact this kid is supposed to be an engineer at like 12. So an 18 year old coffee addicted engineering student he is.
For Tri-Force Heroes, here are some of my favorite Link combinations: Legend (Red), Age (Blue), Mask (Green) or Legend (Red), Spirit (Blue), Mask (Green).
Age, when he meets the Chain, feels like he’s less of a hero because he had so much help on his journey (he admires Wild, who traveled alone for most of his journey).
Wild, on the other hand, feels inferior because he failed fighting the Calamiry the first time, and he admires Age because Age actually succeeded (I love how f’ed up both these boys are someone please get them therapy—)
Neither Wild or Time take watch during full moons. The moon freaks them both out too much.
Legend has to take sleep medicine to go to sleep (though he often fights taking it, or just doesn’t take it until he crashes and someone forces him to)
Legend is the Link that’s most likely to tell someone when something is wrong, be it an injury or illness. He’s done this adventuring thing 6 times and was a sickly kid growing up. He knows to take care of himself.
Conversely, Warriors is actually the worst when it comes to injuries and illness. Captain though he may be, he’s had perfectionism instilled on him thanks to Cia and the whole War of Eras thing. He can’t fathom the thought of not being perfect at all times.
Warriors is the Link that’s most likely to make the really hard decisions, like killing an enemy, abandoning a mission, etc. He’s been to war, he’s seen The Horrors, and he wants to protect his brothers (some of which have big bleeding hearts) from having to experience The Horrors too.
Wind would be Down For Murder no questions asked
Age and his Zelda (Fauna) showed up during Warriors’ journey, so Wars spends a good chunk of early LU wondering why Wild doesn’t remember him before realizing Wild isn’t Age at all
Due to being trapped in the mirror, Shadow is still the same age as Four was during FSA, which I headcanon to be about 14.
First believes his only purpose in life is to defeat Demise. The Chain helps him realize this isn’t the case, but it would be such a shame if he died shortly after LU ended—
Sky and First actually struggle to get along despite their similarities. Namely, because Sky knows First is going to die.
I love the headcanon that Age can’t cook (even though he does in Age of Calamity shhh—)
Legend is Time’s descendant as well as being the secret Prince of Hyrule
The timeline split between the downfall and child timeline happens after LU. The gist is Ganondorf attacks Hyrule, Lullaby uses the Ocarina of Time to turn back time after Ganondorf kills Time, and voila—timeline split where Time dies in one and in the other he’s brought back and lives (but Lullaby dies instead) (if this feels familiar it’s literally my idea for Polyphemus from my Epic AU)
The Ancient Hero is the only hero without a Triforce mark (because he helped make the Triforce itself)
Hyrule is childhood friends with Cadence (yes Cadence from Cadence of Hyrule and Crypt of the Necromancer). They haven’t actually seen each other in ages though, long before their adventures both started. They’re both from Calatia.
I could go on about Downfall Timeline worldbuilding I’ve done but uhh we don’t have time for that right now—
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Tony is in his 50s and recently did a rough calculation of how much of his life he has spent looking at pornography. “The result was horrifying,” he says. It was eight years. “I can barely think about it. The sense of failure is intense.”
Tony saw his first “hardcore” film on VHS in the 1980s when he was 12. In his 20s, he connected to the internet for the first time, which turned his habit into a “full-blown addiction”. Over the past 30 years, he has just about managed to maintain a double life: he works in a caring profession, is friends with men and women, has had relationships. But there is a part of him he keeps entirely hidden.
“So far, I’ve only told three people in my life about it – two therapists and now you,” he says. “It’s a complete secret from everyone I have ever known. I’m meticulous about covering my tracks, even when in a relationship. My lack of interest in sex with my partner might be the only thing that would cause her to wonder.”
Tony has tried to stop looking at pornography multiple times, but has never managed more than a month without it. He’s tried cutting down, he’s gone cold-turkey – banning himself from masturbating and blocking porn sites. But “the addict brain is exceptionally devious and adept”, he says. He’s also tried therapy, but has found it hard to keep paying for it long-term.
Still, Tony is grateful for one thing: he was young before the internet. “At least I had a normal youth – parties, gigs, adventures with friends. I had girlfriends and a sex life. Boys like me don’t stand a chance now.”
Every statistic related to pornography use in the UK – and globally – is soaring, driven by the ubiquity of mobile phones. About 13.8 million people – a third of all adults using the internet – viewed porn online in May 2023 alone, according to Ofcom. Two-thirds of these were men. While pornography companies don’t report (or acknowledge) statistics on underage viewers, British children, on average, first watch porn at the age of 12. The children’s commissioner for England found in a recent study that much of what young people see is violent and extreme.
Jack is in his 20s and first saw pornography when he was nine. “I was with a group of friends on a school trip. It was a woman giving a blowjob, something I had never been told about in sex education.” Like many children and teenagers today, porn found Jack before he went looking for it. “It came up through things friends shared, then on flash gaming websites. I saw really bizarre things which evoked both arousal and curiosity. That gradually turned into just arousal and then compulsion grew along with it.”
Soon, the intense stimulation of the pornography he was watching meant he “lost interest in day-to-day life”. It wasn’t so much the time he spent watching porn, but the “hyper intensity” of the content. “Sometimes in a particularly addicted phase I would spend hours watching it each day,” he says. ‘‘But usually it would just be an occasional binge then less use the rest of the time … In terms of how it was affecting me, though? That was not a normal life. The porn stimulus is intense and it leads to desensitisation to the small everyday pleasures that keep us sane and content.”
When Jack started having real-life sexual experiences, “it was very difficult to maintain an erection. Real sex was less intense than the masturbation of a desensitised addict – which is what I was”. Unlike online, “there was no option to click through many possible videos for something new and more stimulating.”
Both Jack and Tony describe themselves as porn addicts. Unlike other behavioural addictions such as gambling and gaming, pornography addiction is not included in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), which is compiled by the World Health Organization (WHO). It is instead defined as a compulsive sexual behaviour.
Paula Hall is a psychotherapist who specialises in working with people struggling with their pornography use and has set up a private clinic dedicated to it in London. She has been an addiction therapist for 30 years – and started her career working with people with substance abuse issues. She believes it’s clear that pornography is addictive. “Porn use carries a risk of escalation and that is what hallmarks it for me as an addictive behaviour,” she says. “It’s a condition that causes significant suffering and we desperately need to develop resources for prevention and treatment.”
Peter Waddington is a counsellor with Relate, a charity offering relationship support, who is seeing more people with concerns about their pornography use. “Some people might be masturbating 10 times a day, up to three or four hours a go. They are physically in pain and sleep deprived. I see people who look unwell. The similarities to alcohol [misuse] are very strong … It’s also perceived as more shameful than gambling or alcohol,” he says.
“It’s helpful that it is now recognised as a compulsion by the WHO but we would like to see it classified as an addiction. If it was supported by the NHS, people could ask their GP for help.” As it stands, Waddington believes that shame can be a barrier to accessing help.
“There has been concern that by talking about pornography and sex addiction we are pathologising human sexuality,” says Hall. But, she insists, calling it an addiction is not increasing that sense of shame. “We know that alcohol is linked to violent behaviour, to coercive relationships, to heart disease, but people still enjoy alcohol. So we can acknowledge those potential risks without pathologising recreational porn use.”
Hall is finishing work on a leading study into British pornography habits with Leeds Trinity University. The aim is to help develop an online self-help programme. Out of the 193 people interviewed who felt they could not control their porn use, more than 93% reported struggling with depression. “Very worryingly, more than 40% say that, at times, they feel like ending their life,” says Hall. “In the same way that the gambling industry has been instructed to provide warnings and help problem users, the porn industry needs to do the same.”
Tony says: “I indulge in a compulsive behaviour that I feel totally unable to stop, despite severe negative consequences. I feel like an addict, I emotionally isolate like an addict, and I suffer the consequences like an addict. These websites are specifically designed to target addicts and keep them clicking.”
The algorithms that serve up new content for users “are incredibly powerful”, he says. “They tease out interests and kinks you didn’t know you had … You wouldn’t believe the number of mouse clicks you go through in a session sometimes. It’s not enough to watch the same few videos over again. It’s always more, more, more, new, new, new.”
Tony thinks this has made it impossible for him to commit to a relationship. “Porn tricked my brain into thinking I could have an endless supply of sexual partners. How does one partner compete with that? The version of me that isn’t porn addicted might have made a good husband and devoted father, but I became sexually bored and I always hid my addiction – I was never authentic.”
Pornography is often a factor in relationship breakdown, says Waddington. “For a lot of the guys I see, their partners have brought them in because they found out about secret porn viewing. Or they have become so addicted that they started watching it at work. So they need to change urgently – their world is imploding.” None of the pornography websites I approached for this piece wanted to comment.
Gunter De Win is a urologist who specialises in adolescent and paediatric urology and, each month, travels from his base of Belgium to London, where he is a consultant at University College hospital.
“Three years ago I started seeing more and more young guys coming in with erectile dysfunction related to issues with porn,” he says. “They need pornography to climax with a partner or to maintain an erection during masturbation. And they may have to watch many videos before they find one that turns them on. As a scientist, I wanted to unravel this.”
He is now part of a research group attempting to study the impact of pornography on young men’s sex lives. But, as his most recent report states, it is difficult to assess the impact that porn consumption has had on young men with erectile dysfunction as “it is more or less impossible to find a control group that is not using pornography from a young age and at the same time is not morally against its consumption”.
Teenage boys getting “performance anxiety is absolutely normal”, he says. However, De Win has seen young men concerned that they lose an erection during foreplay – which again, “is all normal”. But by watching porn so young, “they don’t understand the basics”.
De Win believes more research is needed into the impact of widely available pornography in the digital age. “Too much of the research on porn is biased either for or against,” he says.
Cold-turkey approaches such as NoFap, a US-based peer support network that encourages abstinence from pornography and masturbation as a recovery method, can have mixed results for young people, he says. “For some, going cold-turkey can be beneficial, but I see boys who end up with no sexual interest at all, which is also bad for their wellbeing.”
His solution is vastly improved sexual literacy – in sex education in schools and in the medical community – that does not condemn all pornography and masturbation as bad. “Introducing shame and guilt has consequences,” he says. For example, “if someone has a religious background and sees porn as taboo, then maybe this creates shame”. Shame, in turn, means that honest conversations around pornography do not happen.
“What I think might have steered me away from compulsive behaviour around porn might have been frank conversations with my parents,” says Tony. “My mother was extremely kind and caring but with an inability to communicate emotion. So maybe some of my tendency towards emotional isolation is just that I am my mother’s son? It’s hard for me to be sure what is really me and what is me corrupted by porn use.”
For now, nature is stepping in to help. “I’m in my 50s and my testosterone levels are dropping significantly, so that’s been a blessing and I am looking less at porn. I’m thinking now about getting help again,” he says. “But it feels like standing at the foot of Everest looking up at the summit.”
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ninadove · 1 month
Note
For any fandom(s): 12, 15, 16, 19, 23! 💌
As always, you spoil me! 💌
12. Compliment someone else in your fandom
GOD I HAVE TOO MANY FRIENDS TO COMPLIMENT
@beezonia comes up with the coolest AUs and designs. I’m always blown away by their Pokémon team compositions — they’re spot on to the point I consider it its own form of character analysis!
@purplecatghostposts is the genius who showed up out of the blue and took us all by surprise with their amazing prose. Soap, reminder that the reference to Copycat in consider the spare legally binds you to pay for my therapy.
@trishacollins is single-handedly remediating to the lack of platonic bedsharing between the cousins and I can’t thank her enough! She’s also one of the chillest and most approachable people I know.
@luckychatons is our favourite entrepunpurr and constantly lifts our mood with the cutest, most joy-filled sketches! Patting her OCs on the back because they sure need it.
@graythegreyt is such an awesome artist you’d almost forget they’re also one hell of a poet who wields mythological references like Odysseus wields his bow. Did you know they wrote me a poem inspired by God Games? I think everyone should know they wrote me a poem inspired by God Games.
@hartwign is a talented translator and draws hair like no one else. Seriously. I want to run my hands through the cousins’ hair and nestle in there forever.
@phieillydinyia is the picture of dedication! Can’t recommend Candle In The Wind enough, it’s a roleswap rewrite of the Miraculous movie that includes the songs. How cool is that. Thank you for your regular comments on my fics, they always make my day!
@alexandriaellisart words cannot express how much I love your depiction of Feligami. Your writing has made me tear up so many times! AND YOUR ART LOOKS SO SOFT AND COLOURFUL. What a double threat!
@faiirygrahamdevanily we need more fics about the Sentiplot as a metaphor for othering experiences and you’re doing God’s… I mean, Duusu’s work with yours!
@bbutterflies did you know your piece for Sentitwin Week is the best characterisation I’ve ever seen of Felix? This is what people mean when they say a picture is worth a thousand words. And of course your Adrino is always brilliant!
@bittersweetresilience not only are you an extraordinary writer, but you’re constantly looking for new ways to express your love. Always GIFing and weaving and canonising tags and making AMVs and running zines… I can’t wait to see what you do next!
And there’s so many more people I’m forgetting! To say nothing of my friends outside the Miraculous bubble! People are amazing!!! 💖
15. The character that always makes you smile
At the end of the day, it’s all about Clive. He’s been my muse for nearly 15 years! 💙🕊️
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16 was answered here! 💖
19. Your current fandom(s)
Professor Layton, forever and always. I can’t wait to share my Big Bang fic and the amazing art that I was blessed with! 💙💛
RWBY, even if I’m lurking more than participating… I love love love love RWBY, yet it doesn’t strike my creative and analytical chords the way Miraculous does. Sometimes you just need to let yourself be swept into a story, you know? Although, it did teach me a couple of writing tricks I’ve used for other fandoms!
EPIC! Wisdom Saga coming soon! 🩵🦉 It makes my little mythology nerd heart supremely happy. The music is a banger and you can feel the knowledge and passion of all the people involved in this project. Jorge in particular is always so excited to share his progress, engaging with creators, explaining his musical choices in a fun and pedagogical way… And the lyrics! It’s free real estate for a fanfic author looking for inspiration and/or titles!
I’d love to start Monte-Cristoposting like I’ve been Cyranoposting and Draculaposting, but I’m afraid of spoilers so for now I’m just screaming in your DMs. As you know. I’m also slowly getting into Honkai: Star Rail, and I’d like to pick up Pokémon Black and White again because a N character study would look great on my AO3 resume.
And of course, Miraculous! 💚💜❤️ It’s the most creative I’ve been in years and it’s all thanks to these sad beautiful silly genius kids. Heart emoji, peacock emoji, sob emoji, etc.
23 was answered here!
Thanks for the ask! 🖤🪶
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piercetheaspenn · 4 months
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INTRO ^_^
Haiii !! My name is Aspen :3 I’m a minor :P (idc if 18+ ppl follow me)
DISCLAIMER: if you’re commenting things like “get therapy” or making assumptions about me and my addiction as if you know me, you’re getting blocked. I don’t care what you have to say.
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This is my 3rd tumblr account lol. This acc is dedicated mostly to sh (im no longer working towards recovery) I’ve been SHing for almost 6 years. Some stuff on here might be ED related as well.
My interests are PJSK (Hatsune Miku Colorful Stage), Sk8 the infinity (currently watching), MHA (literally an almost 6 year hyperfixation…), and PTV (Pierce The Veil) !! I’ve had a huge hyperfixation on PTV for almost 3 years.
I don’t take this ‘blog’ seriously. It’s kind of like where I scream into the void and some ppl just so happen to relate 🤭
Im js telling u rn I do not like talking to people and unless we’ve talked before, I probably won’t wanna engage. Not in a rude way I just get really drained from any conversation from anyone. 👍
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DNI :
Basic DNI criteria (homophobes, racists, etc.)
People pushing recovery (pls im getting better at my own pace)
NSFW accounts. I’m a minor, I don’t wanna see you being horny on main ‼️👍🤓
Anyone BELOW 13. Sorry Ik people can’t change their age but 12 and under is just too young for me.
Thank you for reading !! ALSO BLOCK DONT REPORT ‼️‼️
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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 8 months
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Over your head
It's been a while and most of this is personal to my life. Just needed to little Nick loving.
Warnings: None, just fluffy Nick.
WC: 736.
Enjoy x
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You should have said no, but you couldn’t now, everything was in place and you knew it have to be like ripping a band aid off, but you were nervous. When Liv came to you and told you that SVU was going to be getting the funds to have an in-house forensic science lab and suggested that you go and get your degree so you could be the head of the lab, it took you nearly 3 days to decide. Life had not been kind recently and you were in your era of second guessing yourself with everything you had been through and what was still to come in your personal life. Your divorce was finally coming to the final stages of being settled and you had just got the kids in a routine as a single mom, and now you were nothing but crazy taking on a full-time degree study as well as working. It was lucky you lived with your mum and the kids went to the same school as Amanda's girls, so between her and Sonny, when you needed it, they said they had it all under control.
As you walked into the huge lecture hall, you found a seat as far up the back as possible and you sat down, sitting your bag on the seat next to you. You had a little giggle as your eyes scanned around the room at all these “Young kids” doing a course as heavy as this, thinking about everything you had seen after 12 years of SVU.
You were looking down at your phone to a message Amanda had messaged you about her plans with all the kids that afternoon after school when you heard a familiar voice and instantly all your worries melted away, your eyes slowly scanned up and surprisingly your eyes met and you blushed as he gave you quick wink and continued talking,
“Good morning, everyone, I’ am Nick Amaro your professor for the next 12 months. I’ am here to answer any questions you may have. All I ask is no phones during my class, unless an extreme emergency” Nick looked at you with a smirk and you giggled to yourself dropping you phone back into your bag.
If that is what you had to listen too for 1 hour every day for the next year, you would be glad to do it. Listening to Nick talking about all his lab skills and referring to his SVU days and cases he had worked on with you and how it led him to this path, made you feel warm and fuzzy. You hadn’t seen him since the night he told you he was moving to LA, your life was already a mess from the break up and he held you on floor as you sobbed at the fact that you were losing your best friend. You had kept in contact, he calling and facetiming the kids as often as he could but you never would have thought in a million years that he would be back in New York teaching.
You watched as all the other students filed out and then you stood up walking out of the aisle you  were sitting on and you walked down the stairs. Just as you were almost at the bottom, Nick walked from around his desk and made his way towards the stairs, stopping at the bottom step not stepping up. You stopped on the bottom step, looking down at Nick, not taking them off his as you sat your bag down on the chair next to you. It was like a magnet pulled you together, your arms going around his neck and his around you middle,
“I’ve missed you sweetheart” Nick kissed the cheek he could reach.
You lent back, your arms going from around his neck and your hands went straight to his beaded cheeks, his moving to your hips, the feel of his facial hair smooth on your hands,
“You have no idea how much I have missed you. How long are you back for?”
“At the moment 3 years” he squeezed your hips “But I’ am hoping I won’t need to leave again”
“Have something important to stay for Professor?” You grinned.
“Yes actually” he paused for a moment looking down at your lips and then looking back up at your eyes “I ‘am looking at her”
Tags: @beccabarba @ben-c-group-therapy @alwaysachorusgirl @jemmakates
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