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i-need-air · 3 years

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"Dude" — Bakugou Katsuki x Reader.

Summary: Your former bully, Midori, has confessed her undying love for one of the most famous guys at U.A.; you're just venting gossiping about it with Mei, not knowing Bakugou Katsuki is right around the corner, listening;

Warnings: None. Well, Bakugou Katsuki having various anger induced strokes > the normal > no warnings; light crackfic? subtle ending;

Word count: 4.5k;

[ Part 2 ];

"She confessed to him." You grinned, throwing a bunch of fries into your mouth like the absolute animal you were.

Mei on the other hand continued her work on whatever in the world her new prototype, or "baby", was. Still, you had the honor of having half of her attention, which was a compliment to say at least.

She just smiled, shaking her head, leading you to continue, not knowing a blond was quite literally behind the corner, just outside the door leading to the support department, frown on his face.

"She came to class giggling like an idiot saying she's got a plan." You made a face into the distance, remembering your classmate's obnoxious squeal. "Ugh, she started telling the Divas how she's gonna have The Bakugou Katsuki in the bag." An ugly snort left your body, which earned an amused chuckle from Mei.

Both of you were pretty well known to be very good friends, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were both quite the social pariahs too. She was a little bit strange or weird, as some called her, but not for a single second she cared, which was the reason you admired the girl so much in the first place. Meanwhile you've taken the role of the bitch of the whole school by far. Sadly, you were placed in the same class as your archenemy, only increasing your chances of being called said endearing term.

Middle-school was a nightmare to say at least, getting bullied for your looks, the way you spoke or dressed, anything really as long as you were the one being mocked. And who was the one doing the bullying? Midori. Stunning, graceful, baby-faced Midori. Petite yet elegant, a devil in disguise. Whoever crossed her path suffered her malice unless she had something to gain from them.

And now, sweet Midori was in the U.A.'s General Studies, coinciding with you in the majority but not all classes. It had to do with the tragedy that your quirk was so rare that the principal Nezu had to adjust a new schedule just for you. Just kidding, it was amazing. The actual tragedy was seeing her face every day.

Back to your heartbreaking backstory and origin; time made you tough, comments made you build a wall so tall and thick nobody could crumble it. Backstab after backstab made you learn that not everyone has good intentions, but in your loneliness you found Hatsume Mei. So honest and dedicated, so raw and passionate. A good person. The type of person your parents promised you'd someway cross paths with and gain such a strong friendship that nothing could tear it apart.

Becoming friends with her was easy, kinda. It took snapping back at Midori when she started her normal bullying routine on Mei, which ignored it without a care. You stepped in and the rest is history. It did feel good though, calling her a pathetic bitch before turning to the stranger with a cool gadget in her hands to compliment it. And, since she's a sucker for her babies, you had to deal with an hour of sparkly eyes and monologues about her plans and prototypes.

Funny girl, Mei. You remember thinking but the following day you passed by her usual spot to fill your curiosity, asking if she did solve the problem she was complaining about.

"He was the one she was planning to ask out?" She screamed at you, head inside a giant metal gauntlet and the reason you two started talking about said man in particular. News were extra-fresh anyway.

"Oh, yeah!" You shook your head, ashamed to exist in the same general proximity as a person like your former bully. "He's gonna be so rich and famous!" A high pitched squeal left your mouth as you tried to copy her voice. "Poor fucking guy, if only he knew."

"But people know she's a bitch!" She screamed again, repairing or adjusting something with almost all of her body inside the gauntlet. A smile, genuine and soft this time, formed on your face. The pink-haired girl wasn't one to talk bad about others or even care, but it was clear she wasn't particularly fond with Midori either, although the conversation was more for you to vent rather than gossip. Sure it was.

"Like the people from the Hero Department even care about us, the commoners." With a roll of the eyes, you followed. "If he's smart, he'll run away. If he's an asshole, he could use her too."

"What do you mean?" Pink flocks of hair suddently submerged from the gadget, eyes curious zooming on you. That probably got more than 50% of her attention and it was a new personal goal while she was at the workshop.

With shrugged shoulders, your answer came nonchalant. "He could date her and dump her like she's nothing. Would serve her right for all the shit she's talking about him." But the only response you got was a short quizzical look, followed by your exagerated sigh. "She's talking shit about him constantly, but then says he's hot and that his personality doesn't matter anyway. Money, fame, looks. She has a whole fucking life-plan! Then calls him a rabid dog!"

"Woah—" that surprised her.

"Woah indeed! Insane. It's insane. I don't know the guy but no one deserves that shit." When you got no response, you continued your speech, munching in the food with passionate hunger, words coming out almost indistinguishable. "Doubt he'd play her though. He looks like a smart guy. I've seen the Sports Festival—" you picked up your burger, giving it heart eyes. "—and I've seen the news. He's probably a good guy too, the issue is people don't see that and... Well, I understand what's it to be judged... Not many have what it takes to be a real hero but he does. Hope he finds happiness in life." Much talk for someone that doesn't know shit about the guy in particular, but even so faint, your gut instinct was trained well enough to spot malice and he lacked that. "And a therapist." And there's the little shit in you that had to drop a cheeky comment.

Mei's gaze turned downwards and even if you could see her brain do mental gymnastics to solve whatever problem she had in front of her super-eyes, she also contemplated your words with great care.

"He comes here from time to time—" she grins, smacking the grenade looking gauntlet with her weird utensil. "I noticed you two are similar." Your face twisted, eyes wide towards the girl.

Similar how? He was loud, bold with a foul mouth, definitely needed a therapist for those unresolved anger issues... But he was also bright as in whenever he went, people looked in his direction, like he shined; obviously strong, also from what you've heard smart, popular, lucky to be surrounded by kind people. Example being that very nice pink girl that had a joyous conversation with you the very first day of school and, much to your surprise, continued greeting and having sweet small talks with you every single time you saw each other. Or the blond haired guy that showed off a little bit too much and made dumb flirty comments with no bad intentions, the same blond that waved at you with enthusiasm when you'd cross paths. There was the red-head, Kirishima, that was an absolute gentleman, opening doors for you even if you had two functioning hands and smiled so bright it made your corneas burn, or also the dark haired guy, Sero, that you've seen helping literally anyone in need around the school campus with an easy going attitude and gentle grins. Bakugou Katsuki was surrounded by good people, good heroes just as amazing as him and if they liked him, he must've definitely had some good in him, right? Another point appeared in your mental presentation about the brash hero in the making was that he was way too attractive but the wise burried deep inside of you made that particular point dissappear. No need to think about that. Overall you weren't even remotely similar. Not even close. Two completely different human beings from two completely different worlds that would never collide. With that being said, there was the small chance that Mei hinted for you to get a therapist too, who knows.

"How even—"

"I mean!" She screwed something in place. "I mean in your— determination?"

"I wouldn't know that." You muttered.

"He screams I'm gonna be the best every time he's here—"

"Cute..." You vomit that endearment without thinking, but thankfully it got ignored.

"—and it always reminds me of you." A small chuckle left your mouth.

"Don't make fun of me."

"You say it too~"

"I just heal, Mei, it's not the same." Principal Nezu's speech, the speech he gave your parents months into the first year as they found themselves aware of your power made you hold your words. You had it in you. The potential. If incredible people like your teachers, like Shuzenji Chiyo or Principal Nezu twisted things around for your quirk, for how rare and powerful it is, you'd accept it.

"But you're gonna be the best healer ever, aren't you?" She taunted.

"Of course. Which reminds me—!"

"Hmm?" Her attention faded away slightly, but it wasn't a problem.

She cheered, both at you and at her finished masterpiece and proceeded to eat too, passing through the lunch hour without interruption.

"Recovery Girl is putting me on active duty at the infirmary from now on. Finally!"

Innocent pale purple eyes stared into deep crimson ones, furrowed brows covering them.

—

Bakugou Katsuki wasn't one to enjoy being annoyed or surprised and this extra managed to make him feel both things in a short notice.

Everyone around him froze in fear or wonder, awaiting his response without breathing or moving an inch. Meanwhile Whoever-she-was held a pink envelope in front of him, a perfume too sweet coming from it making him want to literally gag in the spot.

Another thing the boy did not appreciate was to have someone bullshit him. His senses were telling him to back off, alarms ringing in his head and those purple eyes held hidden intentions; he wasn't having any of it.

"Fuck off." He snapped, yet his stance was casual as he refused to move out of her way since she was the one that had the audacity to run into him.

Some gasps, even coming from his so-called idiotic friends, could be heard and an indignant Bakubro behind him as he got slapped in the shoulder but he did not care. Not until her lips started to tremble as she retreated her confession letter towards her chest dramatically. His eyebrow started to twitch at the sight.

It was a spectacle for anyone surrounding him.

"What's going on?" Shushes and whispers.

"Bakugou Katsuki just got a confession!" Gossip.

"What!? Who?!" Confusion.

"You said Bakugou Katsuki?!" Shock.

"Oh, she's pretty!" Awe.

"He told her to Fuck off! What an asshole!" Outrage.

"Is that Midori?" Surprise.

"The nerve—" Anger.

"Midori from—" Disbelief.

"Oh, my God, she's really doing it~!" Giggles.

He frowned deeper. If people were to talk about him, they should be talking about all the crap he's been doing and all the lives he saved, not because of a fake bimbo decided to cross his path.

Bakugou wasn't stupid either. With time he knew these things would eventually come in his direction, stuff he'd have to deal with in the future as fame would take over, but not now. He did not have time to entertain this show anyway.

There was only one destination in his mind and she was keeping him in the middle of the whole school cafeteria with prying eyes on them both.

"Bakugou, do something, she's about to cry!" Dunce Face harshly whispered, but turned towards the white haired girl that looked devastated in front of them. "Ignore him! Ask me out, I would never make you cry!"

He rolled his eyes so back in his head it almost hurt. With a need to hurl the food he just ate, he made a step to leave the scene but small hands with claw-like fingernails gripped his arm and he looked at her in utter disgust.

"No, I would never! He—" she sniffled but had no tears in her eyes. He gave her a scowl, trying to take his arm out of her grip but she scratched him in place with her tiny rat hands. "You're the one I love! I—" her bangs covered her face as she continued her show.

"Bakugou! Dude! Do something!" Shitty Hair said, his dumb and blind trust in people buying the act. A vein almost popped on Bakugou's forehead.

"I fucking said—" he pulled his arm so hard she fell on her knees by his side. "Fuck. Off."

Another set of gasps filled the room.

"Bakugou!"

One thing he did not want, even if he could tell it was a foul theater, was to hurt somebody. His asshole act ended at that but his pride stopped him from saying anything.

Glancing to see if she's hurt, Pink Idiot was by her side, helping her up and asking way too many fucking questions.

"No, I'm fine..." she said with such a meek voice he scoffed, also hearing all the shit everyone around him was talking.

"He's such a brute."

"What a mean guy—"

"She's crying!"

"Fucking asshole."

He gritted his teeth.

After the disaster with the League of Villains in the first year, people started to respect him for who he was yet one single, minuscule shit like this and they were all at his jugular.

"I took Bakugou-san by surprise." She excused his behavior to Ashido, which then suggested they should eat lunch together sometimes to make up for the trouble after apologizing in his behalf.

"Yeah, we'd love to have you around! Isn't that right, Bakugou?" The apologetic and almost pleading voice of his blond friend, if he ever was going to call him that anymore, just made him bare his teeth. If they wanted to get played like fools it was their problem, not his.

And that's how he found himself eavesdropping on the weirdo and an extra.

And with a single "Whatever." he left the cafeteria, going to check if his gauntlets were ready, annoyance oozing off him, making the sea of people part from his path. Except he didn't notice you rushing away a little bit in front of him, holding a bag of food, all amused.

Why the fuck was everyone talking about him? Can't they fucking keep his pretty name outta their mouths? With time and without finding a reason why the hell he was glued in place, he listened attentively, his suspicions confirmed and his ego hurt, but whoever was talking about him calmed his nerves a lot. He just needed to put a face to that voice. Just to see who's gossiping about him, nothing else.

—

With a full belly and a whole afternoon to study by Recovery Girl's side, you marched towards the infirmary after you bid your farewell to Mei. There was still time to walk around, grab something sweet for later and save any poor soul that Midori decided to sink her teeth in. It was common at this point, you getting in between her and her victims and taking the hit, yet somehow also being called a bitch by everyone. That's how high-school worked. She did have friends and they spread any word she spat. Vultures.

It was fine though. Hero [Y/N] is there to save the day no matter what. You scoffed at your own stupidity, turning the corner just to step on a leg that was sprawled on the floor.

He clicked his tongue, getting up with no worry in the world, but made no action to leave, settling for observing and analyzing you way too intensely.

"Watch where the fuck you're going, idiot." The man of the hour, the guy you've defended in front of your friend just screamed at you as he dusted off the imprint of your shoe left on his pants. Meanwhile you just paled in place before regaining your composture.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" You said, tilting your head with a frown, already knowing you will not apologize.

Unimpressed by what was going on, even if you truly couldn't point out what really was going on, you made an attempt to move past him towards the vending machines not far behind, but he caught your arm in a firm grip.

You blinked stupidly at the skin contact.

"Heard you were talkin' shit."

Your stomach dropped. Legs almost gave up too if it weren't for his iron grip holding you still. In the silence and at the satisfaction of the reaction you let out, he smirked and raised his chin, only Mei's singing voice coming from her workshop could be heard. Realization hit you. Hit you? Bitchslapped you in the face and left a mark for sure, because your cheeks started feeling heated, tingly.

He dragged you away, maybe to have the privacy to murder you in peace, but your common sense kicked in and you came back from the land of the mortified.

Much like he did before, action you saw with your two own eyes and repeated, you pulled out of his strong grip and stared as he turned towards you, mouth already opened to probably eat you alive.

"I wasn't talking shit about you, dude." You quickly spoke first.

"You don't fucking know me." He growled back, taking a step towards you but like hell you'd back down.

"Don't need to be besties to say what I said." Without understanding why he was so agitated, the only thing left to do after this beautiful turn of events was to defend the honor remaining in you, so you raised your chin to be at par with him. The action clearly took him by surprise, making him glare more, if even possible.

"I don't fucking appreciate when extras talk about me behind my back!"

"I don't give a shit what you appreciate, dude." Your laugh was the complete opposite of his menacing loud voice, like ying and yang.

"Bakugou, the name's fucking Bakugou, you extra!" Bakugou recovered quickly at your snappy self, getting more bothered as you talked.

"Okay, dude." His hands fisted, shaking in place as he stared you down but did not continue.

Silence; the hallway was now filled with silence as he boiled in his own anger and as you raised your brows in confusion. Now what? Was it time to leave? You've never met anyone like him, this was peculiar—

"NOW IT'S WHEN YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOUR SHITTY NAME, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!"

A second passes; two; at the third you're wheezing your lungs out, laughing at the ridiculousness of the scenario.

"What the fuck are you LAUGHING AT?!" His voice got louder just to top your howling. You did not expect that.

Through a sigh, regaining your breath, you say "It's [L/N] [Y/N].", seeing him retreat in his form and cross his arms. He was still seizing you up.

"If you have shit to say to me, say it to my fucking face, understood?"

"I—... Say what now?"

"I—." He copied in a mock, getting an incredulous look from you. "You stupid or what?" Your upper lip lifted, ready to cuss him to infinity and beyond but he continued. "Like about that bitch from before and shit—" even if he still was loud, he placed his hands in his pockets and looked more interested in the way the tiles on the wall were placed instead of your person. "An' like you told the weirdo—"

No time to be shocked at the implied; his last word enraged you, making your body shake with rage. "Don't fucking dare to call her a weirdo ever again."

Like a challenge, he snapped his face back at you, ready to take it.

"Or what?"

"Listen here, fucker—" now that was a nice surprised face he was pulling. "Just because I gave you a pat on the back in there doesn't mean you can disrespect people just because you think you're the shit. You're not. Now get out of my fucking way." With a final push to his shoulder, your mind was focused on going to the infirmary, steam almost coming out of your nostrils.

"Hey, extra!"

Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him. went through your mind, marching away without a glance back. Not until—

"[L/N]! You're a healer, hah?" That's interesting. He stood where you left him, watching.

"What's it to you?"

Someone sane would've left at your tone but this guy walked towards you then showed you his arms, recently scratched. Images came back to you about the cafeteria incident but did not underst—... did he want to get healed?

You scoffed.

"They're scratches, dude."

"They annoy me. Now heal." All the energy you had left in your body was channeled towards the slow blink you threw at him, at which he scoffed. But they did look nasty— and Midori did them. It was a curse by itself to look down at your own arms and remember that face, so the guardian angel in you decided to take control and be the better person.

Gentle fingers barely tapped his muscular arm. Smile crept up on your lips, feeling absolutely delighted at his obvious stiffness at the skin contact and the clear interest in his eyes, specially when the scratches started disappearing into nothing, leaving smooth silk skin under.

"Hey— Wha— Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" raspy voice got lost in the distance and one thought in your head.

"Want a lollipop for being a good patient too?" You mock and his face explodes in all shapes of red. It would've been great to mock him more, enthralled by his reactions, but with that you turned and left, ignoring the tingling under your fingers that should not be there and your stomping heart.

Did he wait all the lunchbreak to talk to you?

—

A long queue was ahead of you, earning the longest sigh out of your lungs. Life was pain sometimes. Mei couldn't hang out, food was too far away, the delicious croissants Lunch Rush made ran out as far as you could see. Pain. Just pure pain.

And disappointment. When you walked away with your food in a bag, maybe to sit under a tree and enjoy some peace and quiet, you saw her. Midori sitting at a table you did not expect. At the same table where Ashido Mina, Denki Kaminari, Kirishima Eijirou and Hanta Sero sat at. Good people. Honest, good people about to get bitten by a snake. If she was there, then Bakugou decided—

"You. Sit."

Thinking about the boy somehow summoned him behind you. Food in hand and bored expression on his face, he passed you not without giving you a stink eye. Indeed, disappointment.

You shrugged, trying not to pay much attention to the pang in your heart as you moved forward, but a voice— his voice stopped you in your tracks.

"You. Get the fuck out of my face." His growl made everyone around him turn to watch, you being one of them. There was no excuse to what came next, no way to run away past it and dissappear. He nodded his head at you out of all people and pointed at the seat still occupied by Midori; her purple eyes big, shocked, running between your frame and the blond's.

Do you know what it felt to be put in the spotlight without warning? Well, congratulations because that was your life now.

"Ba—Bakugou-san?" Her voice, now highed up and meek followed, then a small scream as Bakugou slammed his food on the table. His friends sat there, wide-eyed, but made no attempt to interrupt.

"Did I fucking stutter, bitch? Or want me to turn into a rabid dog for fucking real?"

You choked on your own spit, bag of goodies about to drop on the floor once you saw her horrified face. She knew that he knew. And when her pale eyes, filled with sudden malice, act dropped, turned to you it's when you realized she figured out where he found out from.

Not like you cared, really, but the little shit that always had to poke out every time she was in the same room as you decided to finally show up, making you wave and send her a wink.

"I said MOVE!" now— that growl, raspy and filled with anger startled her. The orange juice in her hands spilled all over her uniform and woke her up from whatever delusion she was in. With zero time to reconsider, every belonging of hers was picked up with trembling hands and she ran away to her group of cockroaches.

A smile was already settled on your face; your brain was storing that whole interaction deep within, ready to bring it back up whenever you needed a good laugh.

Life was pain and disappointment, you say? No. Life was great. Or more importantly, Bakugou was. Not like he needed to know. But he was a decent guy as he proved—

"THE FUCK YOU STANDING THERE LIKE A DUMBASS?! I SAID SIT!" —to be a pain in the fucking ass and the bane of your existence.

You gave him a face then turned to walk away, even rushing more when you heard his chair screeching on the floor. The exit was so close, so near, freedom never felt this great, the sunlight kissing your skin giving you a new hope to live. But not for long because he grabbed your hand and started dragging you towards his table.

Your hand was in his hand and he was dragging you—

Your hand— his big, warm, a little bit sweaty hand—

How could you ruin such a beautiful moment? Eyes on you two, shocked, silence, his adorable red ears being the only thing you could see as he was completely in front of you, still dragging you towards his friends...

"Did you wait all lunchbreak yesterday to talk to me?" You collided into him as you finished the sentence, his way taller form stiffened so much you felt you single-handedly broke Bakugou Katsuki for good.

But when he turned... Oh, when he turned. Biggest deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes you've ever seen on anyone, cheeks painted so red you almost melted in the spot, lips trembling as his head worked a thousand miles per second just to find a retort. And you prepared yourself for—

"NO, I FUCKING DIDN'T! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU FUCKING EXTRA? I'D NEVER WAIT FOR SOMEONE LIKE YO— ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" Mina's waving hand caught your attention and smiled at her. Your hand was still in his, gripped harshly as he still hasn't noticed it's still there.

"Hey! [L/N], long time no see!" She cheered, ignoring the living shit out of her screaming friend, like she's used to it.

"FUCKING LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU—"

"Hey, chill, dude. Now let go of my hand, I wanna talk to Ashido." You smiled sweetly, making extra effort to wave your linked hands arond until he finally noticed. He zapped his hand away so fast, like he's been bitten by a wild animal. Maybe even a rabid dog, if you will.

You couldn't ignore your own flustered state as you walked past him, giving him a one up, adding the absolute scandalized face he had into the back of your mind for safekeeping.

"Come sit with us!" The pinkette offered.

"Oh, hey, I know you! You're by Hatsume's workshop all the time!" Kirishima intervened with a surprised face that broke into a grin. "Nice to officially meet—"

"I fucking said." he appeared, sitting in front of you. "My name's Bakugou."

"Ok, dude, but I'm talking to someon—"

"BAKUGOU KATSUKI!" Could be heard from the stratosphere.

Note: I just realized Midori means Green [ fucking duh ] but I'm not gonna change the name or her description. I think her parents fucking up her name was the start of many accidents leading into the Midori we all know and hate. Also, I know you understand. We all know a Midori in our lives. Much love.

Note 2: I keep editing it but tumblr dot com slash Install App on Phone fucks my editing and switches paragraphs all around! If you find any PLEASE tell me, I'd really appreciate it!!!

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha #noire writes #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #i just wanted to make myself uwu #reader is op

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justice4harwin · 3 years

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Light's Corruption- Chapter IV

Pairing: The DarklingxAlina

Summary:With few friends at the Little Palace, Alina must work to win the favour of her fellow grisha and their commander, who makes her feel light headed every time she sees him.

After training in Os Alta for two years, the king grows tired of waiting and demands the Sun Summoner joins a western post near the Fjerdan border along with the rest of The Second Army to test her abilities.

Something happens. Suddenly, Alina wants blood to run down the rivers and those who stand in her and The Darkling’s way will be blinded by her light and swallowed by his shadows.

It won’t be pretty

Rating: 18+

Click here for chapter 3

Tags are in the comment section. If you dont wanna be there or wanna be added please let me know 😊

Anyways, I hope you like this one. I'm really excited over a particular scene 😏😏

Chapter 4: golden butterfly, black rose

Alina woke up with a new purpose: to observe and listen.

She hastily threw the blankets and sheets off of her and put on her kefta as she realized she might be late for breakfast.

Running down the stairs, hair a mess, the Sun Summoner smiled and greeted everyone on her path.

Some replied. Others just stared oddly.

She entered the hall to find that, as usual, Marie and Nadia had left a seat empty between them. Alina gingerly took it.

"Good morning!"

They gave her smiles as they reciprocated the greeting.

"You're in a good mood today." Nadia noticed, taking her spoon.

"I slept like a baby." she lied. She hadn't gotten that much sleep -Genya must've gotten even less- but she felt good that day.

Just the day before, she had been able to summon on her own for the first time, and she had to stay positive if she wanted to accomplish her new mission.

She engaged more in the chatter with the grisha women that day, venturing so far as to reply with questions of her own to get to know them better.

"I didn't know you had a brother, Nadia." she said, genuinely surprised as they made their way to Botkin's stables.

The woman nodded with a half-annoyed, half-endearing smile.

"He's grisha too. A few years younger, so he's still at school. His name's Adrik."

"Is he a Squaller too?"

Nadia confirmed that he was, because of course, the little rat had to copy everything about his older sister.

Alina laughed at that.

"The little girl seems very happy for someone who's about to get into a fight?" were the words with which Botkin received her.

Alina fought back the need to recoil. The only time she had won so far had been against Zoya, …if one could consider that a win given what happened right after.

"Maybe I'll be lucky today." she beamed at him.

Botkin seemed almost surprised.

"Positivity is fine, little girl, but you need to focus during a fight. But first." he clapped his hands twice, immediately getting all the attention. "Run around the lake. Twice. The last one to get back here will help the stable hands for the rest of the day."

Alina really ran like never before that day.

Her side hurt, and she almost felt like she wasn't getting enough air; but after the first half, her legs didn't burn so much anymore, and she felt almost as good as she did when walking.

"Damn, Starkov." she turned her head to see that Michail, a heartrender with a hard-shaped face and kind, green eyes, was easily keeping up with her. "When did you get this fast?"

"Practice." she said, a little breathless but feeling nice with the cold air slapping against her face. "Besides, I really don't wanna end up in the stables."

He laughed at that.

"That makes two of us. I hate those animals."

Alina frowned. She just didn't wanna clean up their shit, but other than that, she could find nothing wrong with horses.

"Why?"

"Those long faces," he said, gesturing over his own. "they're scary."

"You're scared of horses?!" she asked, disbelieving.

"Why don't you yell it a little louder?" he asked, looking around at the disperse group, but he was smirking. They weren't at the front, but they weren't slagging at the back either.

"Sorry." she leaned in. "I'll keep your secret if you help me not to be the last."

"I don't think you need my help," he laughed. "but sure."

She got knocked down on her ass by a short Inferni woman with dark blonde hair, but Alina laughed it off, hiding her embarrassment, and stretched out a hand. The Inferni rose an eyebrow and then helped her up.

"Thanks." she told her, dusting off the back of her kefta.

"For kicking your ass?"

"Hey, I think I did learn a thing or two." she winked. "Next time I'll be ready."

"Oh, so you want a rematch?" the woman asked, amused, as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"If you're up for it." Alina shrugged.

"Deal." they shook hands. "But it'll have to wait until we're done with him." she said, nodding towards Botkin, who was busy making rounds, watching the others. "I'm Natasha, by the way."

"Alina."

"Oh, I know. Everyone knows." she smiled once more before retreating to a small group of Inferni that had reunited by a corner.

As she passed by the lake in her usual route to Baghra's hut, Alina got startled by the damage she had done to the perfectly green grass. Gardeners were still at work getting rid of the black mass she had left in her path, going so far as to dig into the earth. They saw her passing and glanced up, some frightened, others definitely not amused.

"I am so sorry." she whispered frantically, before hurrying her steps.

"Don't let the heat out!" was all the greeting she got from the ancient woman.

Alina closed the door and hurried to the chair that awaited her. She was smiling.

"I don't think that will be a problem." she said, proud of herself.

She scoffed. "So I have heard. Show me." she said, hitting her in the arm with her cane.

"Ouch!"

With a nasty frown, Alina placed her palms in front of the others and called the light that she had rejected for so long. So eager to answer, her power rushed through and out of her, and she was almost puzzled by its intensity. She focused on keeping the orb small.

"Uh. Well, it took you long enough."

"A 'Congratulations' would be nice."

She got hit again. Her light wavered and then solidified again.

"Congratulations? What? Do you want a parade thrown in your honour as well? For what? Doing what you were supposed to do your entire life? Shut up and expand the orb. Make it encompass the entire place."

With deep breaths, both to concentrate and control her anger, Alina steadily expanded her light, making it fill the hut.

"Bend it to its shape."

Carefully, she tried to do as she was told.

"You were right, about being held back." she uttered as she tried to shape her light to blend in with the walls.

"I know." the woman said, petulant. "Now call it back and repeat until there is no effort to it."

Alina tried, and tried again, but as eager as her power was to explode, her body was eager for a long, long nap. There had been so much repression, so much denial for so many years, that it was as if the light wanted to just explode out of her body and consume it all.

It scared her a little, but she focused.

The Darkling had told her she was magnificent, Alina remembered, and he had made it sound like she was capable of anything.

The way his grey eyes shone with such intensity, like he wanted to engulf her into his arms and have her all to his own, the way in which his hand felt against hers, or how just even being next to him made her want to lean into and over him like a lazy, overly clingy cat.

She'd lay on top of him all day if she could.

Alina wondered what would've happened if Genya hadn't arrived at the moment she did. Would The Darkling had kissed her? What would his lips taste like? How would his beard feel against her skin? Just exactly how good was he with his tongue?

Alina blushed. The light flickered, as if excited at the mere idea of the man.

She had kissed a few people before, but him, there was something about him that told her that if he should kiss her only once, she'd spend the rest of her life running after the very same sensation and more.

"Dreaming about your dark prince again?"

She looked at Baghra.

"What?" looking around, she noticed that her light had expanded farther than the hut and she was glowing.

Alina snapped her hands, and everything was dark again. Her fingers tingled with power, her eyelids closed with exhaustion.

"I-I wasn't-" she blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the new environment.

"Stupid, stupid girl. You need to focus on your task."

"I'd concentrate better if I wasn't being hit every five min-OUCH!"

"Do not make excuses with me. You are lazy, easily distracted, you do not know what you are getting yourse-"

"You know, for someone who's supposed to be such a great teacher, I've still got to see some actual teaching." Alina snapped. "All you do is yell at me, hit me and belittle me; yet one conversation with The General I can finally summon." the brunette spat, each word more angrier than the previous one. "So don't try to blame me for your shortcomings."

Baghra was silent, nostrils flaring. When it looked like she might raise her cane and hit Alina right in the head with it, she opened her thin lips instead:

"Out." she uttered, almost inaudible. "Out! And do not come back!"

"Gladly!"

Alina stood up and marched for the door, her steps almost as loud as the insults the old woman was throwing after her.

"Stupid girl! Unconscious! Just another pawn of his! You never learn! Lazy! Stupid! Blind!"

It was a good thing the old crone couldn't see the tears of frustration and shame in her eyes.

She was on her way back to the Little Palace, trying to decide if she should bathe or go to the library first.

Baghra’s words still rang in her head.

Maybe, if she was quick, really quick with her bath,...but then again, she was getting too used to such a luxury, that once in there it was quite difficult to leave unless the water turned cold.

But if she went to the library, she’d be there until the words blurred and her eyes burned.

On the other hand, there were other grisha in the library, and she couldn’t afford to walk in there smelling like-

"Alina?"

General Kirigan's smooth voice had her turning on her heels, hand still massaging the spot on her arm Baghra's cane had so harshly landed. She had managed to hold back the tears, but the woman's word still stung.

"Moi Soverennyi." She greeted but forgot to bow.

He looked at her arm.

"How was your lesson?"

"I spent months with her and nothing; five minutes with you and I can summon." She basically spat, still bitter at Baghra's harsh words. "I think that speaks for itself."

He smiled, almost.

"Give the old woman some credit. She is good at what she does."

"Terrorizing isn't teaching." she replied, and then, with her head high, added: "She didn't get me to summon."

"No." The Darkling agreed, taking a step towards her. All engulfed in his black cloak, he almost seemed to float. "You did it. It was all you." He said it with such reverence that her breath became shallow.

She didn't look away from his eyes. The storms swirling in there were magnetic. There was so much going on in there at the moment, yet it all sped up through those grey orbs so fast she couldn't make sense of it.

"Why don't you teach me?" The words slipped from her tongue before she could think better of it.

He rose an eyebrow, taking another predatory step towards her.

"I serve the King. I run an entire army. I do not have the time to train everyone personally, nor would I want anyone to think they are favoured above others."

He was so close to her now, she had to crane her neck to look up.

"You once said there was no one else like us; who could be a better teacher?"

In truth, she also wanted to see him more often. Glimpses as he passed through the Little Palace or left Os Alta, and the occasional conversation weren't enough for her.

"You flatter me, Miss Starkov."

"I only state my opinion." she took a step, shortening the distance, like he was a magnet calling for her.

Mirth shone in his eyes. It made her smile.

"I will be going away for a few weeks." At this, her smile fell, and his formed as he tilted her chin up with his gloved fingers.

Alina stared up into his eyes, dark with something.

"I'll miss you." She whispered, foolishly, without thought.

"Will you?" He asked, almost perplexed for a moment.

She found herself nodding.

"I know we don't get much chance to talk, but I like talking to you." She confessed, a knot in her throat. "You understand all,...this." she flickered her fingers and a tiny orb of light formed above her hand.

His eyes followed suit, almost fascinated, like he still couldn't quite believe her power was real. And when he looked at her, it was like he couldn't believe she was real.

His hand rose and shadows swallowed her light. Alina watched them dance, entranced by his power, and noticed it taking shape.

"For you." The Darkling said, handing her a black rose, from the base of its steam to the very last petal. "To remember me by while I am gone."

Disbelieving, she reached out and gasped as she touched the shadow. There was a little bit of gold in there, her own power hidden within, shimmering weakly here and there.

"I don't have anything to give you." She said, lamenting.

He leaned down, his beard rough against her soft cheek.

"Trust me, Alina," he whispered, her name on his lips against her ear making her tremble. "I could not forget you if I tried."

There was the whisper of a kiss against her cheek that seemed to linger for the longest moment, …and then he was leaving, cloak flipping behind him as he left the sun Summoner holding onto a small piece of shadow and a piece of her heart gone with him.

Click here for chapter Five

#shadow and bone #alina starkov #the Darkling #darklina #alina x aleksander #darkling x alina #fanfic #shadow and bone fanfic

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echo-three-one · 3 years

Text

Chapter 41

THE ROAD SO FAR

One step closer to the end.

FIVE Seconds

John 'Soap' MacTavish

Task Force 141 Base - Infirmary

We overcame Ultranationalists, chopper crashes, danger close with gunships but a goddamn dog is what'll get me into an infirmary? Rabies, ridiculous. What a waste of time.

John wrote down his anger in his black journal. It housed all his thoughts ever since being recruited at the Task Force regarding mission briefings, regrets and training schedules. It was his outlet on all the things going on around the world.

He noticed that Captain Price also slept by the other bed, his eyes looked tired from staying up late, he never gave up on Volt that he tired himself out.

He winced at the pain of the bruise the rotten dog gave him. He was never really a fan of them as most dogs tend to chase him wherever he went. Yesterday was another proof. Luckily, France seemed to catch up on his body language, how he didn't want anyone to know that a dog was the reason he's in the infirmary. The way she knew it without telling her was starting to convince the Scotsman that he got himself a keeper. Someone who understands.

Speaking of which, the same gorgeous blonde girl entered the infirmary, greeting Soap with a very genuine smile of relief.

"Hi." She smiled quietly as Price was still asleep.

"Aye. Hello there." He greeted, his voice was low and rough as he attempted to catch the lady off guard. She may look tough wearing her 141 training uniform, but Soap knows how to make her lose her composure.

"How's the wound?" She asked, her face was already turning red as she approached him. She looked so cute right now, Soap won't mind kissing her amidst the Captain being there along with some CCTVs.

"Getting better. Hopefully enough to join the fight. How about you?" he replied, smiling at the female soldier. The general mood of the room quickly shifted and the two of them were pretty aware about it.

"I'm fine. I'm just here to thank you for saving me back then. But you didn't have to… I deserved that bite for not being careful." She muttered.

Soap sighed.

"Eh, you know full well that I care for you, France. For once let me be the hero." He chuckled and France laughed.

"You already know that you are my hero, dummy." She winked as she started to leave.

"I gotta go. It's my turn to clean up the comms. Wish you'd help me though, Hero." she teased as she left the room, Soap was left staring at her beautiful figure exit the room.

"You sure got yourself a tough lass there, lad." Price grumbled as he woke up, commenting on the two.

"Aye. She's definitely a keeper. I just hope I don't mess up. Because I think she's the one." Soap finally admitted, to Price of all people. The captain just chuckled.

"Yeah. My word of advice. Go with what your heart and mind says." He said with full sincerity, as if he didn't want Soap to regret everything. There was flavor in his words that made Soap wonder if such advice came from experience. Though he did hear rumors that he and Laswell had some sort of history, and he got that from France.

"Aye, Captain… Will do." Soap nodded and Price got up.

"I'm giving Volt a final visit." He grumbled and went off, leaving Soap alone in his thoughts once again.

The next day, Soap was cleared from the infirmary and was immediately tasked on the mission. Last night, Nero started his assault on the capital and thousands of rangers were struggling to keep them off the country. With Volt finally given up, he relayed information regarding one of Nero's allies.

They were going to Havana, the home base of the mind manipulation and the command center of Nero's forces. How it managed to stay hidden, nobody knows but the team was eager to find out soon. Especially that another nuke is ready for launch.

Abandoned Building, Cuba, Havana

Soap could hear France hum the song Havana quietly as she crossed her arms just before the plane started. She was nervous and Soap knew that so he tried to hold her hand in secrecy, showing him a face that assured her that everything will be alright.

In this mission, time was of the essence so stealth wasn't an option. They were headed to the base guns blazing, all in hopes to disable the second nuke launch.

The helo flew dangerously low as metal clanged on it's base as soon as enemies fired at it. It was a risky move but the squad needed to drop by the rooftops to get a clear vantage point.

Soap immediately seeked for cover by the edge of the rooftop, eyeing the door that led to the lower floors where the command center should be.

"We'll hold them off! You go!" Alex yelled as Soap, Price, Roach and France breached the door, descending to the second floor of the building.

The place was abandoned and very open, enemies' footsteps echoed across the halls, making the team aware of their positions.

"Soap, focus on getting to the control room. We'll take care of them. France, cover his six. Roach and I will make a grand distraction." Price said, popping a grenade on the main hall and Roach assisted him, drawing all the attention towards them.

"Alex, when you're done sweeping up the yard, I need your team down here asap." Price muttered over comms.

"Roger that." he replied.

"Looks like it's you and me against the clock now." Soap managed to chuckle at their situation. France just chuckled and cleared the location so Soap could advance. This was her forte. Stealth and close quarters.

"You're good to go, John." She said as she took the stairs down. Soap cautiously followed as he heard gunshots from France's location.

"Two tangos down." She declared, clearing the staircase to the basement.

"Multiple tangos in the basement. Looks like we're in the right place." France nodded and Soap followed, pulling the pin of a grenade and tossing it to the narrow hallway.

"GRANADA!!" One yelled and an explosion followed, signaling the couple to press on the narrow hallway while they're dazed.

They shot down the enemies until more emerged from behind, trapping the two of them.

"Shite! At this rate we'll never push forward. We're pinned!" Soap called for help.

"Someone's escaping! Reinforcements are arriving!" Alex warned as the team was now overwhelmed with hostiles. Time was running out.

"John! Watch my six and I'll clear a path for you." France said and left without letting him reply. This worried Soap but he had to trust her and so he covered her six. Shooting at enemies dumb enough to dive on to the narrow hallway. He did his best to retaliate by firing back and tossing any grenades back to its source.

It felt like the longest two minutes of his life. France fought her way to the command center and him, defending the entrance while his ammo slowly ran out. Then after what seemed like forever, he heard her go signal.

Soap ran as fast as he could, and just before he lost sight of the entrance, he saw Price immediately follow him. They did it. They cleared the entrance.

He fished out his journal for the cryllic translator, decoding every letter just so he could stop the launch. They only had five seconds left.

Soap furiously typed the code Volt gave them and pressed enter as soon as it's done. The launch didn't stop. Soap figured that they were too late, but Price's face never looked worried.

"Captain. The launch didn't stop! What are we going to do?" France said, worried.

"It's all according to plan." He muttered as he signaled his head to head back to the rooftop.

"Let's burn this place down." He added and they all ran back to the rooftops for exfil.

"Dropping the skyhook now! Latch yourselves in!" Eagle Two Four yelled as the thick rope dropped from the sky, Soap quickly latched himself in and looked behind him. France was a few meters away from the final hook as a stray bullet grazed her thigh.

"France! Hang on!" Soap quickly detached himself almost automatically, without thinking. The rest of the team were already being hoisted up when they noticed the two members still on the rooftops.

Soap's body felt the rush as he quickly carried her up and held her tight, running toward the last hook and quickly attaching himself in, all while holding her tight in his arms.

"Why didn't you call out to me? You know I'm going to save you whatever it takes." he whispered as he felt France already in tears. If it wasn't for him always checking out on her, she would've been left alone in that abandoned building.

"Is she going to be fine?" The worried Scotsman asked the nurse. His voice was almost loud enough to disturb everyone else.

"She got hit twice. One on the chest and one on the thigh. They're both minor but she just passed out from the panic and exhaustion. We found this on her chest. The thing practically saved her life." The nurse handed over his journal. Soap's eyes widened at the hole that pierced through the whole book. He must've left it when he typed the abort codes and she must've grabbed it from there.

"The bullet barely pierced through her armor thanks to that book." She said as Soap looked up and silently thanked that she was safe. He quickly flipped through the pages until he found the page where he drew her. The bullet hole on the page was where her heart was. It was funny because it was the other way around. That woman was the one that fired a bullet straight to his heart. And he wasn't a big fan of metaphors at this rate.

"So is she okay?" Roach quickly ran to Soap's side, a worried look on his face. Alex and Price were behind him.

"The journal saved her." He said, raising the pierced black book as proof.

"She's lucky enough you got her on time. I couldn't think of any other way she could be saved from there." Price commented as she looked at her through the glass.

"She's a tough lad. But sometimes she needs to understand that she isn't alone." Price added and Alex nodded.

"She'll wake up soon." Alex tapped Soap's shoulder and he nodded, as they left the infirmary for another briefing.

On the way to the briefing room, they caught up with Ghost and Alexandra bringing an unknown man to the interrogation area, which prompted the team to follow.

Inside the interrogation room's observation area, the team sat while Price and Jack talked to the man.

"Nice to see ya, Jack. Thought Nero got rid of you." He smugly said with a wide annoying grin on his mouth.

"Who is this prick, anyway?!" Roach hissed.

"That's Gabriel Lannister. CIA's Research and Development Head." Alex said nonchalantly, Soap could see the disbelief in his eyes. There was more than just one mole in his previous department.

"He was the one in charge with the mass manipulation of the missing persons cases." Ryder added.

"While you lot launched the nuke, he went off running with four convoys of protection. Luckily we were able to intercept them by the bridge." Ghost informed.

"What about the nuke?" Soap asked, completely forgetting about it. It was his responsibility, as he typed the whole command on it.

"Blasted at Nero's fleet not too far from the White House. If you were five seconds later, the war would've ended differently." Ryder supplied the information.

"And the capital?" Roach asked.

"Mostly damaged, but it will recover. Turns out Nero did really burn the place down." Ghost answered.

"What about Nero?" Alex asked, eyes not leaving the whole interrogation.

"No one knows where he is. We were hoping this guy would give information about him." Ryder pointed to Gabriel, who was having a fun time at the interrogation.

The tension inside the room was different. Each person had their own little realizations and this pushed them to end the war as soon as possible.

Soap immediately exited the area and went back to the infirmary.

"Hey." He was greeted by France, who was already up.

"How are you holding up?" He asked, his tone more concerned than ever.

"Well, It doesn't hurt right now but… I'm… I almost died out there, John… What if I died?" Her voice croaked and tears started falling from her eyes. John quickly approached her and hugged her gently close to his chest.

"Don't say that… What's important is you're alive… I got you and you're safe…" He whispered.

"Thank you." She croaked. John just rubbed her back assuring her everything will be alright.

"No. Thank you. You changed me, France. You made me realize a lot of things. I know that this isn't the most perfect place right now, but… Will you be my girlfriend? Because I can't help thinking about how every single day of my life since I met you, I can't stop thinking about you. Your smile, your face, the things you say, the way you hide what you really feel. I want all of those and after that last mission, I realized that I shouldn't have left you waiting. There was no better time than as soon as possible." He said, offering his notebook as replacement for flowers.

France nodded with tears in her eyes, accepting the journal with confusion.

"Turn it on the last page." Soap said as she did it, showing a sketch of her and him together happily smiling. She wore the clothes she wore when they were out together in that coffee shop.

"This is beautiful." She said, tracing a finger on the paper.

"I love you, John MacTavish." She said as she leaned in for a kiss, not letting him reply.

Next Chapter : FOUR Weeks of Silence

Notification Squad my Beloved

@smokeywhalee @enderio @samatedeansbroccoli @ricinbach @whimsywispsblog @bumblingbee1

#alex echo 3 1 #john soap mactavish #horrayfic #codmw #john price #gary roach sanderson #simon ghost riley #whateverittakes

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sanktnikolais · 4 years

Text

Here Without You

A/N: I’m back for a moment to drop this sort of angst piece of god and goddesses au sort of. In which they are a bit like Poseidon and Athena but not really, I just needed the rivalry bc I’m trash <3 (it doesn’t make sense I know)

Big thanks to @wafflesandkruge for giving me the idea. And for also going through and editing this long mess of words KJHASLFDJ ;-;

Basically light/vague plot, only monologues and longing.

Summary: Cursed to live on earth as humans, Zoya has been finding Nikolai in every life he gets reincarnated. But every time they meet, it is always the same: he doesn't know her. He has no memory of her or anything about their past immortal life. And in every lifetime, she is slowly losing hope. For how long could she hold onto the thought of him remembering her again? Is her love enough?

Word count: 9629

How long does it take to fall out of love with someone who can't remember you?

If there was anything that Zoya learned after being stuck in a human body for so long was that nothing was ever permanent. All of it, whether it was a physical thing or an intangible emotion, disappeared in time. Such a harsh truth, she knew, but it was the truth.

For a long time, she had waited for it to disappear, or just fade if only for a bit.

But for over a millennium, her love for him remained.

Maybe that was what had driven her to stay away instead of finding him this time. Because no matter how many times they met, or how many times their paths crossed, or how many lifetimes passed, the result would always be the same.

He would never remember her again.

It was only reasonable for her to stop hoping for the impossible to happen.

---

Athens had been slightly cold that time of the year, even with the sun high up, which was a change since she last visited.

Zoya looked around. There were quite a number of tourists visiting today, bustling around the site and taking photos of the scenery. She almost chuckled at the silliness of it. If today had been some other time before, the sight would've been better when the temple was still intact. But looking up at it now, in its ruined state, only brought haunting memories of their last stand against their common enemy before everything fell apart around them.

Minnie? His voice echoed in her mind, along with the image of the worry and terror in his eyes as he knelt on the floor, trying to reach for her. What's wrong?

She shook her head, harshly shoving the memory away. But the sight of him vanishing after was already branded into her mind as if to remind her of her failure.

The coldness of the small piece of metal in her hand was enough to bring her back, and Zoya pressed it harder against her palm until it hurt. Better this pain than the one in the past.

With a shaky breath, she made her way through the rubble of what once had been a divine place made by the people for the god of the seas. She remembered how much he appreciated the place, how much he took care of it during the old days they were still all in peace.

He grinned, the one that reached his eyes and made them bright. His arms were spread wide. “She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” he said, gesturing to his newly built temple.

She merely raised an eyebrow at him. “Mine is definitely better,” she countered with a sneer. “And besides, yours wouldn’t even be there if I hadn’t allowed it.”

“Guess I owe you my reputation, then?”

“Obviously, so stop being a show off.”

Then he winked, and she didn’t like the way it made her heart skip a beat. “Only for you, dear.”

The memory faded.

It was then she realized that he never got to see what she had done to his temple. If he saw it now, what would he feel?

Nothing, her cruel mind said. He doesn't remember anymore.

"Am I really waiting for nothing?" she said bitterly, not minding the weird stares she got from a nearby group.

Zoya reached the entrance of the front hall. It faced the seas, a view which he had never grown tired of. And seeing it from here, she figured that she could never really blame him.

The cliff from where the temple was built gave a wide view of the sea, stretching as far as it could until the other end that could be seen was only the horizon. Its glow of a mix of green and blue blended well with the afternoon sky, and it gave her a sense of serenity. Even if for a bit.

The seas can help us find peace, dear, his voice echoed in her mind again, unwanted and welcome at the same time. I'm sure you would appreciate it more in time.

Don’t call me dear, she had said, but it didn’t have the poison and sharpness from when they were still rivals.

Zoya felt a sad smile twitch on her lips. She did appreciate it, loved it even. An eternity with him before surely contributed to the love she had for the seas now.

But an eternity without him only made looking at them feel bittersweet. It was as if she could see him nearby, but could never reach for him nor be with him.

It was never fair.

She shook the melancholic thoughts away. She hadn't come here to lament over the things that could never be again.

Zoya opened her palm to eye the small object. It was a trident keychain she had bought from one of the souvenir stores near the site's entrance, its gold color immediately catching her eye as she had passed by.

It had become a tradition for her to leave various things by his temple whenever she visited. Whether it was of the strangest things like a water lily from a nearby pond or something like this, she always left things that reminded her of him.

It was only fair to remember him even if he didn't remember her.

"An offering to the most infuriating deity I knew," Zoya whispered, her voice breaking slightly despite the softness of her tone. Her eyes suddenly burned. She blinked rapidly, feeling a tear fall on her cheek. She reached up to wipe it away. Why now? She laughed bitterly. "I am still crying over you even after a millennium while you live and pass by without any memory of me."

She looked down to her right, where a boulder was perched on a pillar by the entrance, gently placing the trident on the surface. If only it was as easy to leave your feelings behind just as she left things in his temple.

"Sad and fascinating, isn't it?"

Zoya jolted in surprise, her hand knocking over the small trident before she could let it go completely. That voice—

But it couldn't be. It shouldn't be.

The voice continued on. "To have such a vast structure built only for it to be destroyed later," it said, "it really is tragic."

It was coming from behind her. Her breath caught in her throat, and her heart was beating erratically in her chest.

It could be anyone else, her mind berated. Stop doing this to yourself.

But hearing his voice lifetime after lifetime, she would know it from anywhere.

It was him.

Zoya released a shuddering breath, finally turning around to face him. She had seen him be reincarnated far too many times for the past two thousand years, had steeled herself from trying to run to him every time they met again. She had become better at making herself not care as the years passed.

What she could never get used to was the excruciating pain in her chest whenever she saw the person she had been longing to remember her appear in her path once more.

He still looked the same in every life, with his blond hair and hazel eyes, and that all-too-bright grin that she adored for thousands of years]. If she were to take a glance at him, it was as if nothing had changed.

But the lack of recognition and warmth in his eyes told a different story.

Were the Fates just that cruel to make their paths cross again and yet never last?

Her eyes stung again.

"I'm—" A look of worry bloomed on his face, and he held his hands up in apology. He winced. "I'm so sorry, I thought you could use some small talk. You look a bit sad earlier."

Zoya wanted to laugh. He still talked too much in every timeline he got reborn in. "It's—it's fine." She waved a dismissive hand, wiping at her eyes for a moment. "Just had something in my eyes."

If he wanted to say he wasn't convinced, he didn't bother to. He grinned and looked back up to the temple instead. "I'm really curious about this, though," he said as he approached the pillar to her left.

She drew in a sharp breath, wanting to step away and put as much distance as possible between them. But she stood her ground. She wasn't going to shy away from only that reason.

He touched the surface of the pillar and then pounded a fist on it twice. "The material looks sturdy enough to withstand a lot of calamities. But the damage looks far more than just that," he said, his eyebrows furrowing. Then he turned to her, hazel eyes curious. She found herself staring right back at them. "What do you think happened here?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "If you're curious about it, why didn't you get one of the tour guides for your questions?"

Almost immediately, he grimaced, scratching the spot behind his ear. "I left my wallet back in the hotel I was at," he said, voice lowering with every word. "I only have enough spare cash for a bus ride back."

Zoya looked at him incredulously, and he obviously shrunk back slightly, the embarrassment still evident on his face. Still the idiot he is.

He sighed. "Well, at least I'd still be able to go back in a bus. I mean imagine walking back to your hotel in this kind of weather," he said, gesturing at the sky. "The sun god isn't merciful today."

She stared at him for another moment, and then she did one thing she hadn't done for a while.

She laughed. A genuine, loud one that surprised him, and even herself. Another moment passed, and then he was softly laughing along with her as well. If there were some things that remained unchanged, it was his blabbering mouth and idiocy in every life. It felt as if he was really here with her.

"Trust me, the sun god is more merciful than you think," Zoya said. If only Tolya can hear you now. "Give him a bit more credit."

"If he calms the blaze down for even a bit, then maybe." He shook his head with a chuckle. Then he patted the pillar. "I hope the god of the seas doesn't mind hearing me badmouthing his fellow deity."

Whatever happiness she felt was short-lived and instantly faded at that, her heart clenching. She forced a smile on her face. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"You sound like you know a lot about the gods."

I know a lot more. "I know my mythology."

He raised a brow, an amused grin playing on his lips. "So does the mythology expert have a name?"

Zoya froze, and her thoughts stopped altogether. She had gone through this for as long as she could remember, and yet she still found herself stuttering every time.

"Minerva," she said before she could even think of it. Her mind panicked. It was her godly name. They had chosen their current names when they first answered to the humans a long time ago, and when they were damned to the mortal world, it had been the names they’d lived by ever since.

All the times she had met him, she gave a different one, while he said the same over and over. She didn't know why she told him her real name all of a sudden.

"A lovely name," he said, extending a hand out. "Nikolai."

She only hesitated for a moment before taking his hand. His skin was warm against hers, and she felt their connection throughout eons in that one touch. His eyebrows knitted together the moment their hands clasped together, but it was gone as soon as she blinked. She didn't know if she had just imagined it.

"Nice to meet you," she said. The words already felt hollow after repeating it for over a millennium.

Nikolai grinned. "Likewise." He let go of her hand before gazing up to the temple again. "So, I'm guessing it was destroyed from within. An explosion, perhaps? A divine explosion, if I may add. It's only plausible to think of that reason if we were to consider the mythology." He shrugged, looking totally satisfied with himself. "Correct me if I'm wrong, though, o' wise one."

She didn't answer for a while. The question he asked was bringing back far too many buried memories of the dark era. Genya's unwanted deception. Harshaw's downfall. Alina’s sacrifice.

Nikolai’s doom.

It came back rushing to Zoya, and it took all she could to not break down. She clenched her hands to fists, willing the memories away. It wasn't the time to let them take over. Not that there ever was a right time.

"Minerva?"

She broke out of her thoughts, turning back to Nikolai warily. There was a worried crease in his eyebrows as he looked at her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern evident in his tone.

"Yes, of course. I'm just trying to remember something," she replied.

"Ah, is the wise one starting to forget her mythology?"

Zoya tried to ignore the way the nickname prick at her heart. It was hitting too close to home. "I tend to forget things too, you dolt. Be glad I'm willing to answer your questions instead of leaving you hanging with your curiosity."

To both her surprise and expectation, Nikolai only laughed. He had never minded her sharp tongue and rough edges. Not even once. "Then do scold me for my wrong assumptions," he said.

She huffed, but looked back up to the monument. "No need to ask for the worst," she said. "But you're actually quite right about that. It was destroyed from within, and not by a natural calamity."

"I knew it," he said triumphantly, his grin lightning up his face. "Though I'm quite surprised the sea god was allowed to be given a shrine in Athens. If my memory is right, didn't the goddess of Wisdom win that war?" He frowned. "I'm sensing there’s more than what was said in the books."

More than you'll remember from all your past lives, my love. Zoya recovered with a scoff. "The modern books are shit. Anything printed in them barely holds the truth." She wrinkled her nose. "I've been in far too many old libraries to know."

Nikolai raised an eyebrow. "Would you care to elaborate on the real history, then?" he said, eyes holding only genuine curiosity and no mocking. "I'm all ears."

"You're not going to let this go easily, aren't you?"

"Not after you intrigued me with your confidence about its truth." He paused, his expression suddenly turning somber as he looked around the ruins of the old temple. "It's strange but there's something about this place that draws me in, and I just want to know what it is."

Zoya felt her chest clench as she looked at him sideways. This happened in every life; Nikolai would be reminded or be familiar with everything, but he never remembered. And she was always left to deal with the pain alone.

With a quiet sigh, she braced herself from the upcoming pain of trying to reminisce a memory of them together, even more so when it was the start of their eternity together. An eternity that was ended in a blink of an eye.

But she figured that she would still indulge him. Even if it was the last time.

"They were rivals," she started. "Archenemies if you want to call it that, always had each other by their throats. It started when the sea god tried to ransack the temple of the wisdom goddess with a great flood."

She'd never forget the rage she felt at that time when she caught him in act, and how that rage deepened when he reasoned out that it was the sky god who had forced him to do it. His reason turned out to be true, but since the sky god was untouchable, she retaliated by stealing and burying the sea god's trident way underground for at least a decade.

It had rained non-stop in Olympus that time, but the defeated look on his face as he lived without his prized weapon was worth it.

"The sea god is a huge idiot, you see, and the wisdom goddess dislikes that kind of person." Zoya wanted to laugh in the way she was narrating their history, but the thought of him not remembering any of it was disheartening. "But that's just the way he was."

Nikolai chuckled. "Am I sensing bias?" he said, shaking his head. "Sounds like they had a pretty silly rivalry."

A smile twitched on her lips. "That's a nice way to put it," she replied. "One petty thing led to another, until they were both interested in becoming the patron of this city that the rivalry between them worsened. The sea god even went as far as challenging the wisdom goddess to a duel the night before they set to present themselves to the king of Athens, saying that she only got interested because he was interested.

"It was actually half-true, and also because the wisdom goddess did not want to make things easier for him as he did with her for centuries."

"Please tell me they didn't go on with the duel," Nikolai said.

"Joke's on you. They did."

"Damnit." Then he laughed. "Who came out the victor?"

Zoya couldn't help but smile triumphantly. "The wisdom goddess, of course," she said. "She put him in his place that night and told him to forfeit his plans being the patron of the city."

"I'm sure he didn't come to present himself to the king the following day, then?"

"Another joke on you. You're underestimating the stubbornness of the sea god." She shook her head in disbelief, and it made Nikolai laugh a bit more. She raised an eyebrow to his way. He should really stop laughing at himself. "If there was something else constant in him other than his idiocy, it's his optimism and stubbornness. He still showed up the next day despite having lost the duel."

Nikolai chuckled. "Sounds a lot like me," he said. Zoya's breath hitched, but she ignored the tiny spark of hope starting to ignite again. Then with a shrug, he added, "Well, you know what they say. No guts, no glory."

"The wisdom goddess literally almost gutted him but he still persevered, and she had to commend that, at least. She didn't bother wasting her time berating him when he showed up." She kicked away a rock near her foot. It toppled over the huge crack dividing the ground, a fissure she had created after seeing him crumble to nothing in front of her. She forced her eyes away. "Even now, I still don't know why she didn't."

"Out of respect, maybe?" he offered with a shrug, and Zoya considered it for a moment. Perhaps it was. "What happened after?"

"They were asked to offer a gift to the people that will prove useful for a long time. Of course, being as confident as he is, the sea god volunteered to go first. He struck the earth with his trident and a fountain of water came forth. But what he didn't know was that it could only produce saltwater. It was pretty much useless for the population.

"Then it was the wisdom goddess' turn. From there, she struck her spear on the ground and planted a branch that grew an olive tree. The king was more impressed with the wisdom goddess' gift, so he chose her to lay claim on this city."

Nikolai raised an eyebrow. "Ah, so that's what happened." He nodded in understanding. Then he frowned and glanced up at the temple, pointing a finger up to it. "Wait, that still doesn't explain how the sea god got his own temple in the city where his very own rival was the patron? I'm quite sure the sea god didn't accept his loss that easily."

"That's where you're wrong." Zoya followed his look up. "He peacefully conceded," she said. And it was the very first time you regarded and smiled at me without a hint of malice. "So she obliged his supporters' wish to build him a shrine near the sea. Thus the temple in this location."

The smile that appeared on his lips was almost affectionate and soft, and she found herself smiling a bit sadly. "I guess despite the rivalry, they could still be forgiving with each other," Nikolai said. Then he turned to her. "What happened to them after that?"

"They—" Fell in love and had an eternity in front of them, she wanted to say but decided against it. She had told him enough truth. "—made a truce and agreed not to come after each other again. No other wars between them after."

"Just like that?"

We've had a lot more than just that. He didn’t need to know how he became much different to her after that, his treatment around her becoming much better despite her initial hostility to his changed attitude towards her, or how he made his way to her heart without her even realizing that she'd let her walls down for him.

Nothing would make a difference.

"More or less, yeah," she replied after a moment.

Nikolai still didn't look convinced when he turned back to her. "Not even on friendly terms?"

Zoya only shrugged. "There were no further things said in the old stories," she said. She didn't know why she was lying to him when he didn't even remember anything. "So we're left to our own assumptions on what possibly happened in the following years."

A look of disappointment bloomed on his face. "I refuse to believe nothing happened else after that," he said firmly. "It's too….open. There must be something more."

"It's quite disappointing, but it is reality. Sometimes that's just the way it is."

"Fair. I believe there's something more, but I guess I'll have to leave it open as well." He sighed, and then smiled ruefully. "The worst part of every story is having no ending."

Zoya only smiled sadly as she turned away from the temple and faced the sea. Beside her, she felt Nikolai shift and do the same. The quiet stretched on, and nothing but the occasional sound of wind and the other tourists' voices could be heard.

It was at times like these that she appreciated the calmness that the view of the sea brought to her, and she was left to remember that what he told her about the seas was true.

Another wave of pain and longing washed over her, the stinging in her eyes returning. He was so, so close and yet she could never reach out to him and hold him close again. But she would be content with having him near even without any memory of her rather than losing him forever.

"How about you?" His voice came after a long while, soft and soothing as the afternoon breeze. "Do you believe that there was nothing more for them than just their rivalry?"

Zoya didn't answer right away. It would be so easy to tell him the truth, to say that the two most opposite deities had overcome their differences and fallen in love against all odds.

But her exhausted heart was too afraid to open up with the truth when she knew that nothing would change if she told him.

"To be honest," she said, mustering up all her courage to keep her tone flat, "I don't know. Maybe there really wasn't."

Nikolai nodded in understanding. "I suppose that's possible too," he said. "Guess we're of opposite minds, yeah?"

"We've always been," she whispered, and she was almost thankful for the shrill sound of his ringtone to cover up for her voice.

He immediately answered it, his becoming relieved. There were a few exchanges of words before he was ending the call. "My rental car is finally starting up again so I'll be able to head back to the hotel. I'm afraid I'll have to cut off our tour short," he said with obvious dismay. "Thank you very much for the knowledge and wisdom you have bestowed me today."

Zoya was already starting to bid him goodbye, but her mind had begun pondering over his words and the ones from earlier. "I thought you said you were taking a bus back?"

"Oh. I, uh," Nikolai stuttered, scratching the spot behind his ear with a nervous chuckle. "I kind of made that up." Then he quickly added, "I'm so sorry about that but you looked like you needed a small talk or something, and it was the first excuse that came to my mind." He tried to smile, but it was pained enough to pass it off as a grimace instead. "Though it’s probably a good thing I hadn't hired a tour guide as I learned a lot more from you, I apologize for making an excuse up."

"You don't have to explain yourself, I did actually quite enjoy sharing too," she said, offering him a lopsided smile in return. "And also, thank you for being kind."

He grinned at that, his face lighting up. "Likewise." He tipped his head in a polite bow before extending a hand. "It is nice meeting you, Minerva."

Zoya tried to ignore the heaviness in her chest in the way he said her name. She put on a small smile. "Likewise, Nikolai."

He gave another smile before letting go of her hand and turning to leave. Only to stop after a few steps and face her again. Then he was pulling something out of his pocket.

"Well, a token of appreciation for your expertise on mythology," he said, handing her a small keychain. "And also for enduring my curious and talkative self."

She opened her hand, and he placed the object to her palm. Her breath caught in her throat when she recognized it.

It was the miniature version of her shield.

"The wisdom goddess' shield," Nikolai said as he pulled his hand back. He offered her a soft smile. "It's only fitting for you to have it because you share the same level of wisdom as her." Then he gave another polite bow. "Farewell, o' wise one. Though I do hope to see you again some time."

With a final grin, he finally turned and left.

Zoya stared at his retreating form until he disappeared among the crowd of tourists, feeling a lot heavier on her shoulders now that he had left. The keychain was still warm in her hand as she walked towards the cliff's edge, and away from the people that might possibly see her.

The weight of it all came crashing down at her. It felt surreal, a fever dream she couldn't get out of, and she was left reeling from the effect of what had just occurred.

Why today? Why here?

It was one thing to see him again. But in this place out of all the ones he could have met her? It was cruelty, a mocking from the Fates to show her that she was never free of her torment even when she already remembered, and he hadn't.

She will never be free of it.

The burning in her eyes felt too much again. But this time, Zoya didn't do anything to stop the tears from falling.

---

What she hadn't expected was seeing him again later that night.

It wasn't new for her to stay late at the site, even after its closing time. If you were old friends with the manager of the place, you got quite a bit of special treatment.

You can stay for as long as you need to. The text message from Genya had been displayed on her screen for quite a while now. Just don't make yourself too sad.

Zoya huffed lightly. If that were easy to do, she would have done it a thousand years ago. But a lot of things were easier said than done.

The alcove she had been staying at was just several feet below the cliff's edge, particularly made for lounging a long time ago. But after years of neglect, what was once a finely made spot was now nothing more than a small opening carved from a trident's strike. The boulder that used to be big enough to hold two people had now crumbled to smaller rocks, and she was left to sit on the cold ground instead.

Nikolai had built the spot when they wanted to have a quiet time together without the prying eyes of mortals or any of their fellow deities nearby. She remembered nights when he would point out the constellations for her, and despite having all the knowledge about it, she let him talk and make up stories for each of them. Other times it would be still, neither of them talking and hands just clasped together, watching the waves on the seas surge and move to his bidding.

The memories hit her painfully. She longed to have those nights with him again, or even to just be with him, without having to worry about him slipping away from her.

But that seemed impossible now.

Her watch suddenly beeped, signaling that it was already one in the morning. But somehow, the sound was muffled amidst the memories in her head. She needed the calm, the quiet. A place where she could be in peace. And she knew just where that was.

Zoya stood up and dusted her pants off before making her way back up the cliff again. Slipping off her cardigan and shoes, she left them along with her phone and wallet by the row of rocks that served as the barrier for the edge. She made her way to the lower part of the ravine afterwards, where the drop was directly to the water on this vantage point.

If Genya were here, she would surely reprimand her from doing such a dangerous thing in the middle of the night. But Zoya usually did night dives during the times she visited here, as the seas brought the serenity she used to feel around him, and she was just desperate to have it again. And it wasn’t as if she could die.

She closed her eyes and turned to the night sky, breathing in deeply as the wind picked up around her. Then, with a contented sigh, she broke into a run and jumped off the ledge.

The rush of air felt familiar in her ears as she plummeted to the sea, and a moment later, she was submerged under the surface. Underwater, it was quiet, the tranquility making it easier for the memories to come rushing to her mind. The coldness should have bitten at her skin the moment she sunk, but she didn’t feel anything. She closed her eyes.

Her mind chose to bring her back to one night on the beach, when he stopped the tides and held her close as they danced slowly under the stars. It was the very first time he had bared his real self to her, and the first time she had seen him past the confidence and the cruel persona he wore as one of the highest among the gods.

She hadn't known how to react that time, and she found herself at loss for words. It was the moment she doubted herself. She was the goddess of wisdom who liked definitive odds and probabilities. She approached everything with caution and vigilance. And above all else, she was supposed to treat him as a rival. An enemy. An opponent of the other side.

But Zoya must have miscalculated, because she ended up going against everything she’d ever believed when she fell in love with him.

Her eyes stung, and her chest clenched. It wasn't from the lack of air.

Please, I'd do anything, she pleaded desperately to any other divine being that could hear her. Make him remember. Make him remember me.

Something grabbed at her wrist, and her eyes shot open. A figure was trying to haul her up to the surface. She struggled for a moment, but whoever was pulling her had a strength of the currents and waves of the seas during a storm.

After a moment, they finally resurfaced. Zoya was gasping for air as they broke out of the water, immediately getting hold of the person's collar and turning them violently to her.

Whatever harsh things she was about to say were forgotten when the dim lights from above the cliff caught the face of the figure.

"Minerva, are you alright?" Nikolai asked, concern evident in his voice. What the hell was he doing here? His eyes searched her face. "Why did—no, never mind that. Let's get you out of the water first."

She was still too shocked to move or answer, so she let him drag her to the sands on the far left side of the cliff. He did most of the swimming, as her body still refused to cooperate with her. It must have been a struggle for him, but he didn't show it. His movements were precise and powerful as if he had been doing it all his life. Though considering his real identity as the god of the seas, this was nothing to him.

They hit the sands after a short while, and it was then a bit of Zoya’s strength returned. She immediately pushed Nikolai away.

"Let go of me," she hissed, voice hoarse from being under the water for too long.

He stumbled, clearly not expecting the act, and he looked at her with obvious hurt in his eyes.

If it was some other time, she would have felt bad and tried to apologize. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to be hurt. But she was exhausted and miserable and she didn't want to deal with anything at all. She let her emotions take over.

"How did you find me?" She gritted her teeth as she wobbled on her feet. "You aren't supposed to be here."

A look of disbelief appeared on his face. "A thank you would be nice," he said. "I just saved your life."

"Who said I needed saving?" she snapped. "Didn't you consider for a second that maybe I knew what I was doing?" She started towards the path leading back up to the temple, calling out to her shoulder, "You should mind your business."

"So you preferred to drown down there alone?"

I can't die, Zoya wanted to say, and she had to bite her tongue to keep herself from saying it. She chose to ignore him instead and continue up the upward path. The cold was starting to seep to her skin, making her shiver slightly.

She could hear his rushed footsteps behind her as he followed. "Minerva," he called out. "Look, I'm sorry."

Zoya ignored him. They were almost at the top of the cliff again.

"I didn't mean to upset you—please, Minnie."

She abruptly stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening. Her thoughts stopped all together. Could it be?

Slowly, she turned to face him, her heart in her throat. "What did you just call me?"

Nikolai seemed to realize what he had said, and he looked mortified. "I—I'm sorry, it just came to my mind."

Zoya wanted to laugh bitterly at herself. Of course, he still didn't remember. It was always only reminders of their former lives that came to him just to keep her hopes up. But it was all the same after.

"Leave before I report you for trespassing," she said curtly and continued up the path. Just stay away, she pleaded in her mind desperately, even though her heart wished for the opposite. But she couldn't take any more pain right now. Please.

Thankfully, she didn't hear him behind her after that, and she made her way back to where she left her things. But when she finally got there, the exhaustion caught up with her and she stumbled to the row of rocks. Her body was already shivering when she sat down, and she put a hand to her face.

Realization dawned at Zoya all of a sudden. Her harsh treatment of him wasn't necessary, and there was no one else to blame but herself for letting her emotions take over. And even if she wanted to apologize, she had already scared him off.

Something warm was draped around her shoulders, and the smell of the sea wafted to her nose. A choked sob made its way out of her mouth. Why hadn't he left yet? She had regarded him badly when his intention was solely to save her from drowning. She didn't deserve his kindness.

"I told you to leave," she said, moving her hand away from her face. But she didn't turn to him. "I warned you that I would report you, didn't I?"

Nikolai laughed lightly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him settle over one of the rocks in the row near her, though he still kept a considerable distance between them.

"If you wanted to report me," he said, "then you would have gone straight to security the moment you arrived up here."

Zoya huffed, but didn't say anything more. She hated that he was right about her. He could always see right through her, and it was the one thing that didn't change in him.

His voice came after a moment. "Did you really intend to stay underwater for that long?"

She didn’t answer right away, because she didn't know how. She hadn't even realized that she had been underwater for too long. "How did you get here, anyway? And why are you here?" she asked instead, effectively deflecting the subject.

Nikolai winced. It was obvious that he didn't have a clear answer to her question either. "I have my ways. And I can assure you my reason isn't for cruel purposes."

"Guess I won't report you, then," she said, and Nikolai smiled at that.

"I owe you my life, o' wise one," he said.

I couldn't even save you on time, Zoya thought bitterly.

A long silence came after, with the both of them facing the well-lit temple that glowed against the night sky. The wind picked up, and she shrugged the jacket tighter around her. She looked at Nikolai sideways, remembering that he had also been soaked to the bone when he jumped in after her. But there weren't any traces of him being cold, so she turned her attention back to the temple.

"I couldn't sleep," he said after a while. He took a small piece of gravel from the ground and tossed it over the cliff's edge. "It might be strange to hear this reason, but the story you told me this afternoon kept me up, and it drew me back here. Maybe I wasn't thinking straight. It wasn't as if coming back here would answer the questions in my head." He chuckled softly, shaking his head. "I was never a fan of open-ended stories."

"They fell in love," Zoya said simply, averting her gaze from him and looking back up at the temple. She could practically feel his shocked expression directed her way. She figured that she owed him the whole truth at least, after treating him badly just earlier.

And for the last time she would be able to talk to him.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me."

Nikolai scoffed. "If this is some lie just to sate my thoughts, then I would prefer the cruel truth to hit me squarely in the face."

"I'm not lying. I know it seems quite impossible if you look back at their history," she said. "But the ones that happened after were more important. The oldest scriptures said so. They fell in love and had an eternity ahead of them." And we had. We just didn't know it would end in the cruelest way, and you would be taken away from me. "It wasn't well-known to the public as the modern books stated that they stayed rivals throughout the rest of their immortal lives."

"How could two gods who literally fought over this city fall in love?"

"I don't know." And it was the truth. He really was her biggest uncertainty and miscalculation. But it was the one thing she didn't regret happening. A rueful smile appeared on her lips. "And yet they did. Against all odds."

Nikolai laughed lightly. "I can't believe it," he said, his tone bordering breathless and disbelieving. "Do you think they're still in love?"

The question felt like knives being stabbed into her heart. I've loved you for an eternity, she thought as she looked at him, to the face that never left her mind for a millennium. Does your love for me still exist, even if it lays forgotten in the deepest depths of your heart?

Her eyes burned, and she looked away. "I hope," she said truthfully. "It would have been extraordinary."

"I would have to believe they still do," he said. "I mean, it's kind of amazing, isn't it? To love the same person for thousands of years."

Zoya felt another crack on her mask. "It is," she whispered. "A lot have tried gaining her attention, but no one can ever compare to him. She doesn't see anyone else."

Nikolai sighed contentedly. "They're lucky," he said. "To have a love like that, I mean. Those kinds are rare."

"Have you ever been in love?" she suddenly asked. She hadn't meant to pry, but she wanted to know if he found someone else during his time. She blinked, realizing how intrusive the question was. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Ah, is the wise one a curious cat now?" He laughed when she gave him a glare. He raised his hands in mock surrender. "I'm joking." He turned back to the temple with a faraway look in his eyes. "But to answer your question, I don't think I have. At least not in the way the sea god and the wisdom goddess were."

Zoya didn't know whether to feel relieved or sad at that. So she only nodded in understanding.

"I like to think that maybe I did, even just once. There had been a few people in the past." Nikolai smiled sadly. "But there's always something missing, you know? I could never tell what or why I am feeling that way. There's just this…hollowness I can't explain." He paused, his eyebrows furrowing. "Somehow coming to this place relieved me of some of the emptiness. I guess I should come back here more often."

A tear fell from her eye, and she quickly wiped it away before he could see it. Her heart was beating erratically in her chest, that tiny spark of hope that she thought was dimming had ignited once more.

This was exactly why she didn't want to meet him again. They would cross paths, and he would be reminded of something in their past life that made her heart believe that things could be what they once were. But they couldn’t. They never would.

Destined to meet, but never to last.

So she didn't let herself ponder over it. This had already happened so many times, and yet she always got hurt for expecting too much in the end.

"How about you?" he asked, voice gentle. "Have you ever been in love?"

I have. And I still am. "Once."

A beat. "How was it?"

A curse and a blessing at the same time. She blinked her tears away and replied, "I still think about him everyday."

Nikolai hummed. "Lucky guy."

"He really is."

"Can I ask what happened to him?"

Zoya let out a shaky breath. "He forgot about me."

"I would remember you," he said.

Then why didn't you? She covered up with a bitter laugh instead. "Easier said than done."

He didn't say anything else after that, and another wave of silence filled the air around them. Zoya appreciated the quiet, reminding her of the moments of peace in the past, and she felt a sad smile on her lips along the ache in her heart.

She would remember this, even if it's painful for her. She didn’t know when she’d see him again.

If she would see him again.

Suddenly, a beam of light flashed to her face, and she raised a hand up to cover her eyes. "Miss Nazyalensky?" a voice asked. She immediately recognized it as Isaak's, Genya's head of security. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, it's me. I'm alright," she said, and the light disappeared.

The young guard's eyes shifted from her to someone past her shoulder. If he noticed their still-drenched state of dress, he didn't say anything. His eyes narrowed. "Who—"

"Don't worry, he's a friend," she said, glancing at him sideways. "He's just about to leave."

A look of disappointment flashed on his face, and Zoya silently apologized to him in her mind. It was the only way to make him go. Isaak was looking at him expectantly.

"Yes," Nikolai said, "I was just leaving."

She turned back to Isaak. "Be a dear and show him the way out, it's already dark."

Isaak only nodded before turning to Nikolai. "This way, sir."

Nikolai sighed and stood up without further complaints, walking towards the young guard. But not before he looked back at her for the last time. He smiled softly. "It was actually good seeing you again," he said, and Zoya felt her heart break a little more with those words that held much more meaning to her. "Good night."

With that, he turned away to follow Isaak back to the entrance. Her feet were already moving before she even realized it.

"Wait," she said, and Nikolai stopped in his tracks. She made her way towards the temple's entrance, going over to the boulder by the pillar where she’d left the small keychain earlier. She found it on the floor, almost covered with rubble. But thankfully it was still there. She picked it up and turned back to him.

His eyes were expectant and curious when Zoya stopped in front of him, and she let her gaze linger to memorize his features to carry with her, as if she hadn't had all of him engraved in her heart and mind for thousands of years.

"Here." She handed the trident keychain to him. He took it reluctantly, a deep crease in his eyebrows evident as he stared at the object in his hand. "I left it this afternoon as an offering to him. But you might as well have it."

Nikolai blinked, a grin appearing on his lips that brightened his face. "I hope the god of the seas doesn't mind."

"Don't worry, I'm sure he won't." It's technically yours, anyway. "And it’ll be something to remember me by."

"Even if you don't give me anything, you're not that easy to forget, Minerva," he said, and then he tipped his head forward in a polite bow. "Thank you."

The look in his eyes was warm, and Zoya felt as if she was really looking at him. She desperately wanted to reach out to him and hold him close to her again. But she held back. "You're welcome," she said, stepping back before she did something she would regret later. She would not make this harder for herself.

With a final grin, Nikolai finally turned and followed Isaak.

And as she let him walk away from her for the umpteenth time in her life, she was left only with longing and the same pain she had been carrying for as long as she can remember.

I love you, she thought, hoping the winds would be kind enough to carry the words she had been wanting to tell him. This would be the last time.

***

The memory of that night came back to her as Zoya stood by the entrance of his temple again more than a year later. She didn’t expect herself to be back here; she had vowed that she would stop hoping for the impossible. But it was never that easy to let go of something you’d been holding onto for a long time.

She had spent the better part of the year trying to convince herself that she could do it, that she could let him go. Sometimes she thought she did, as her thoughts about him didn't bring that much pain to her than before. But more times than not, she would still find herself crying at night, wanting nothing else than to have him with her again, asking any other deities to hear her plea and end their torment.

And yet it remained unanswered just like it had always been.

A strong breeze blew past the site, and Zoya shrugged the jacket tighter around her. It was almost the same as last year, albeit a bit colder, causing the temple to have less visitors than usual. The sun was starting to set in the west when she approached the cliff's edge, giving the sea an orange glow.

She smiled ruefully, suddenly realizing the depth of her decision. This view was going to be one of the sights she would have to give up if she ever stopped visiting here. And it was something she wasn't letting go. As much as she wanted to forget, his seas had been a constant part of her immortal life, providing her with peace that often slipped away from her, and it was the closest thing to him that she could be with.

The thought hit her like a ton of bricks, and Zoya wanted to laugh. She had been a fool to think that she could ever forget any of this, that she could forget him.

Because even after all her attempts to do so, he would always be the one on the other end of the red string tied around her wrist.

"It's not fair, you know? I'm still crying over you, and I'm so, so tired," she said to the sea, her voice quivering as she did. The stinging in her eyes came quickly this time, and she reached a hand up to wipe it away. A broken sob came out from her lips when she whispered, "It's not fair, Nikolai."

She put a hand to her face as she continued to cry. There were times that her grief would overwhelm her to the point that she wouldn't have minded whether she was in public or not, and the pain in her chest was enough to break her.

This was one of those times and she had no control over it.

Zoya didn’t know how long she stayed there, crying her sorrows to the seas that could only do so much to comfort her, that she didn’t even notice the presence behind her until it spoke.

"When I first saw you here a year ago, you were just close to crying."

Everything seemed to stop around her. Her thoughts halted and she brought her hand down from her face.

No, it's not real.

But she knew it was true.

Zoya turned to the direction of his voice, and there he was, basked in the glow of the sunset that made his eyes gleam much brighter than what she used to have engraved in her head.

Nikolai smiled softly. "It's been a while, Minerva."

She didn’t know why her mind suddenly started making up excuses, anything she could say to elude him before the pain became too much for her to bear.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" It might have been the stupidest excuse she could think of, but it was all she had. A look of hurt flashed on his face. Walk away, Zoya. "You must have mistaken me for someone else."

She briskly walked past him, each step away from him feeling like daggers being driven to her chest.

Walk away, Zoya willed herself.

She could do it. She could walk away so she wouldn't have to suffer. She could do this, and do it again in the next life.

She could stay away from him.

But as she went further away from Nikolai, her mind narrowed to one thought. I can't do it.

It was then his voice came, gentle as the waves from the shore. "Are you really going to walk away this time, Zoya?"

This made her stop abruptly on her tracks, her heart in her throat. A surge of wild hope ignited in her chest again.

No, he could've asked for it from the management, she thought. Isaak could have told him.

She had been waiting for a thousand years to hear it again, to hear the warmth in his voice whenever he said her name. But why wasn't she believing it? Why wasn't she turning to him?

Why only now?

Against her better judgment, Zoya finally faced him. Her vision blurred with another wave of unwanted tears. If this was some cruel trick to play on her—

Nikolai must have noticed her look, because he gave her a reassuring smile. "The seas can help us find peace," he said as he approached her. Zoya could only look at him, her heart still not wanting to believe. But he continued, "And I would gladly stop the tides and currents if it meant giving you the serenity you desired."

He stopped right in front of her, the gentle look in his eyes remaining the same. She looked back up at him, finding any traces of deceit in his hazel eyes, or anything that proved that he wasn't real.

But in them she only saw the warmth and love that he sent her way, the reflection of their memories worth for thousands of years, the one that the wisdom goddess didn't expect the sea god to give her.

"Hey," Nikolai said, his voice coming out in a broken whisper. His face crumpled when he brought a hand to her cheek. A quivering smile made its way to his lips as he said, "I'm sorry I'm late."

A sob tore from her throat as Zoya lunged at him, her arms wrapping around his neck tightly as if he would disappear again if she let go.

He's here. "You're back," she sobbed against his shoulder. "You're back."

She felt his arms around her not a moment later, strong and warm and welcoming, the same way she remembered even after a long time. The world could have burned down around them, and still Zoya wouldn't have cared, not when he was finally back to her.

"I remember," Nikolai was saying over and over, his voice shaking from crying. "I remember it all." He pulled away slightly, just enough to look in her eyes and see the relief reflected back in them. Tears fell freely from his eyes as he pressed his lips on her cheek— "So many lives, I've lived" —his lips went to the bridge of her nose— "So many times I've met you" —he moved to her eye— "And I didn't even know it was you that I was missing."

He pressed their foreheads together, his eyes closed tightly. He brought his hands up to the sides of her face. "You always found me," he whispered, "and when I remembered, I knew it was my time to find you." He reached for her hand, bringing it to his chest, and she felt the steady beat of his heart as if it had finally found peace and its home. "I love you. I loved you in every life. My mind could forget, but my heart and soul never did."

Zoya laughed, but it came as a broken sob instead. She reached her other hand up to his face, her touch still hesitant. Everything felt like a dream. She had been waiting for this moment for so long, and now that it was here, she wanted to make sure it was real.

But he was warm and his presence comforting, and he was looking at her the same way he did when he stopped the tides for her that one night on the beach.

More tears fell from her eyes. "I never thought I'd see you again. I've watched you slip away for a thousand years, and yet my love for you remained the same, if not stronger," she said, voice hoarse. "I missed you every single day."

Nikolai leaned into her hand, pressing a kiss on her palm, and then on her wrist. A few tears landed on her skin. "I love you. I'm here now." His lips moved to her forehead. "I love you."

She clutched him closer to her. "I thought I lost you," she said. She closed her eyes as he moved to press a lingering kiss to her temple. Her voice broke when she repeated, "I thought I lost you."

"I know, I'm sorry," he murmured against her skin. "But I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere." He pulled away to look in her eyes. "I'm not leaving you again."

And when he sealed his promise with a kiss, Zoya felt the thousands years' worth of pain and longing lift from her chest, replaced by the feeling of warmth and contentment, and finally, home. It would be another start for the both of them, as they had a lot of time to make up for. The road would be tedious, but they had each other.

Her love could last for another eternity.

***

A/N: I have a short, fluffy one of the same au in the works. Might post it soon. JASHFLJASF

#zoyalai #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #king of scars #idk this took me a while #and i made myself sad over this #basically gods/goddesses au #they're poseidon and athena #but also not really #i needed the rivalry ok #HASDFLKJHA #i tweaked some in the mythology #so yeah #im trash #and sad #have this long mess tho #my writing

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moonlightchris · 4 years

Text

𝕾𝖎𝖒𝖕 𝕾𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖆𝖞

🌕 𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖋 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓

~~~

To my wonderful friends, family, & others...

This is going to be long as fuck. Chan speak less challenge

Haneul, I'll never be able to thank you enough for everything you've done and continue to do for me always. It used to feel wrong, really, to have you care so much. Worry so much. Help so much. I always thought I should be able to do things alone. Move on my own. Heal on my own. I always thought that it was my job to be there for others, not burden them. I never allowed myself to ask for help because it felt as if I was weak, incapable. Deep down, I was afraid of doing so. I was afraid of letting people in. I was afraid of letting people help because that would mean showing them everything wrong. And who could trust me once they found out how fucked up I was? Who could love me? But you showed me how wrong I was. You taught me that one of the bravest things I could ever do was asking for help. Allowing myself to hurt and heal, and not do it alone. You continue to remind me everyday how much I am worth, how capable of receiving and giving love I am. You stay by my side no matter how many times I screw up, and that means the absolute world to me. To welcome you into my life is probably one of the best decisions I've ever made. I promise to keep working hard for you. For us. I love you forever, and I thank you wholeheartedly for everything.

Jihyo, even though you're not here anymore, it would be wrong to just erase you like that. I probably should've said all of this before, I should've let you know how much you meant to me, how much I loved you. I fucking genuinely loved you. I love you. And I probably will always, because what I feel for you doesn't just die out. I know I screwed up, I know I pushed you away, I know I couldn't be there for you, and I'm sorry. I will always be sorry. Because you deserved so much more. When I told you I would've dropped everything for you, I meant it. Have you just told me, I would've done things differently. And I will always regret not having been able to give us a chance. Not having acted sooner. Not having spoken up when I could have. I know you loved me just as much, and I'm sorry I put you through that, because I know loving me hurt you, and I never wanted to cause you any pain. I guess some things just aren't meant to be, but that doesn't make it less shitty, hm? I miss you. I've been missing you for a while now, but it was better to part ways. And now you're entirely gone, once again you slipped right in between my fingers. But its ok, I'm letting you go. I'm setting you free now. I promised I wouldn't go away, and that was a shitty thing to do because maybe you needed me to. I'm sorry for all the pain, all the hurt, all the tears. I'm sorry I wasn't enough. And wherever you are now, I hope you can find the calm you so badly craved. The peace of mind and the love you deserve.

My pack, my wonderful pack. The boys that have watched my back more than I've watched theirs. The boys that have carried me through some of my darkest times. I won't ever have enough words to thank you. Thank you for choosing me. Trusting me. Giving me the chance to give you a home, a family. Accepting me as I am, accepting me as a whole with everyone and everything that I love. I'll be forever grateful to have you.

Yeji, Chae & Chae, you're really something else, hm? The three of you with your own particularities. The way you care, the way you're always there, the way you've always the right things to say. The way you love. It is heart warming, really, how selfless you are. There's not been one time in which you haven't been there for me. And I promise you I'll always be there for you too.

When I sat down to create the family list, i thought hard. Really really hard. What is family, right? Because, family it's not only about blood bond. It's not about having been born from the same parents or sharing uncles. It's not just being the same family tree. And so I thought, what are reason to add these three wonderful girls into my family? And then it hit me that there's not a single definition for it. That family is such a complex concept.

Yeji, you have showed to be an exceptional friend over and over. The fact that we started talking over a sex joke it's quite amusing, too. And now look how far we've made it. I don't think I'm half of the crackhead I'm with you with anyone else. You don't need me at all. Not as I'm used to being needed, at least. And that eases me so much. That liberates me of so many responsibilities while around you. You are a safe place, and I hope I can be the same to you at some point.

P. Chae, even though we haven't really spoken much privately or alone, I can't help but consider you family for another number of reasons. You're just always there, y'know? You've always been. Somehow you got under our skin. all of us, including admin. You're probably one of the weirdest people I've ever had the chance to meet, but it's ok because that makes you YOU and I love it. There's never a sad time when around you. You lift everyone's mood so fast, always. You're loving and caring in your own especial way. I'll never forget the first time you messaged me, either. You were so worried about Haneullie that day, apologizing so much for bothering but at the same time urging me to check on her. I told it was ok even though I was quite busy, but it didn't matter because you are her beat friend, right? And if you come at me freaking out over my little sis I'll drop everything in a second. It was heart warming, really, and since then I've never not once doubted your heart.

S. Chae, you're one of the most caring, selfless, loving, wonderful, unique people I've ever had the luck to cross paths with in my entire life. You're always there. No matter what's going on, you're always there. There with your hearts that put a smile on my face, there with your quotes that make me rethink my day, there with your love that makes me feel like I'm not alone, there with your horny ass that makes me feel validated, there with your gentle words that make me realize that its ok to breakdown sometimes. You're always there, even though we haven't been there for you enough. Even though I haven't. You care to an extent only you can, and that's fascinating. Thank you for everything you do.

The three of you, girls, mean so much to me. So so much. And I promise you I will always be here for you. Whatever you need, any time at all, whatever it is. I promise I'll be here.

Lix, shit, what is there to tell you that I haven't done already? What is there to tell you that is proper for the dash, hm? I think it's been little times in my life that I've felt so... Disconnected of everything. But at the same time so grounded and connected to someone. Whenever I'm with you, Lixie, I forget the world around. I forget everything. Forget my problems, and my achievements, forget where I am and who I am. I forget everything and all I know is that right there, in that moment with you, I'm all yours. And I would do absolutely anything you asked me just to see you smile, to hear you laugh. When I'm with you, nothing else matters. And nothing makes sense but at the same time my mind is so clear, everything is so clear, so obvious. So obvious that I belong to you and you belong to me. You pull me out of whatever hole I'm in and bring me back to the surface, you are my sun, my moon, my stars, my galaxies. You're a universe on your own and I can't help but want you all to myself. And that's fucking scary. But somehow so exciting. You give me faith. Faith in myself, in my future. You make me feel like there is a chance, and you know what? If there is one, even if it's my last one, I want to spend it on you. With you. I want you to be my chance. And l will work hard for it. Because I'm not willing to lose you, Lix. I'm not.

Sanie & Woongie, I have so many things to apologize for. I'm sorry for not putting enough effort. I'm sorry for not being there enough. I'm sorry for those days I lack words. I'm sorry for those times I can only offer cuddles. I'm sorry for not being able to help as I should. I'm sorry for not being what you need. I'm sorry for just not being. And I know you don't believe that's true, I know you don't think I lack, but the truth is that I can't help the way I feel inside. And I know you can't either. I know you can't help it when you're sad, when you think you're not enough. I know you can't help it when you feel you're letting people down. I know you can't help it when you feel you're not worthy, when you feel like you don't matter. But you know what I do believe? That we deserve better. I do believe that we're strong, capable. I do believe that we'll make it out and I do believe that we will be ok. I believe in us. I believe in you. And I promise you that I will work hard to make you believe it too. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving. It doesn't matter how much you say you think you're a bother. It doesn't matter how much you think you're making me upset. It doesn't matter because I will hold you tight and I will not let you go. Things do get better, we just need to wait a little longer.

Last but not least, my beautiful babygirl, my princess, my little girl. I love you so so so much, did you know that? Caimie, my precious little sunshine, I would move mountains for you. Split oceans in half. I would bring down the moon for you, catch all the stars in a jar for you so you have your own sky in your room. I don't think you understand just how much you mean to me. I don't think you're aware of the power you hold. I love everything about you, from the way you get flustered and blush at the tiniest things I do to the way you smile so genuinely at my stories about work. I love the way you climb on my lap whenever we cuddle because that's your favorite spot. I love the way you rest your head on my chest to listen to my heartbeat. I love the way your hand fits in mine, and I love the way your lips feel in mines too. I love your soft touches, I love your small whimpers, I love your pretty moans. I love how one second you're screaming about how cute your doll in Animal Crossing looks and next second you're being a crackhead on the dash. I love taking care of you, telling you to go to bed, reminding you to drink water, calling you out when you're not paying attention in class. You are and will always be my little baby. And whoever wants to get with you will have to go over me first because I'm bit giving you away to the first fucker who thinks they've got a chance. I love you, princess. Forever.

—

Tags (hmu for removal:])

Those who are like family:

@shinhaneul-oc @bunjihyo @illuminated-skz @princess-yeji @mafia-chaeyoung @hunter-chaeyoung @skz-cb @babie-sanie @bunny-woong @caimchris

#ss chan #chan archive

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just-dreaming-about · 4 years

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Here I am with the third part of my Spider-Man fanfic. Thank you so much to those who have liked the others and I hope you also like this. Enjoy!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS #3

When Thalia noticed it she was doing it again. She had just left the hospital, another afternoon with her father, and now she was wandering around the city turning all the doubts in her head. She was getting used to the noise of the city, she was beginning to seem it ideal to think but the doubts were not clearing in her head. She carried a great weight on her back and she had no one to share with, her only world was her father and she didn't want to worry him anymore. It was so frustrating.

It had been a few days since her encounter with Spider-Man and her talk with her father, she hadn't clarified anything but she also didn't know why she had started walking around the city until late. Was looking for the solution to her problems or was looking for someone? That was another question that she couldn't answer and when her thoughts seemed to turn against her, it was time to go home. But this time was different because she couldn't remember the way home, she didn't recognize the buildings or the stores.

She began to feel overwhelmed, a anxiety attack was growing in her chest and she tried to contain it. She crossed the street and turned right but still didn't recognize where she was. Was she really lost? She? She knew the streets of New York as if it were the palm of her hand! It was embarrassing to recognize it out loud and yet another pressure her heart must endure. Turn to the left. Another unrecognizable street. Then another thought crossed her mind; didn't she recognize the street because she was lost or because she was having a anxiety attack?

So the next step was obvious. She took refuge in a lonely alley, leaned her back against the wall and tried to breathe slowly but was unable. Every pounding in her heart ached in her chest and tears began to collect in her eyes.

Suddenly someone was in front of her, it was speaking to her but she couldn't hear it clearly and that person's hands were cold on her shoulders. And one of those hands went down her right arm urgently until caught her hand and brought it to a marked chest. He was a boy, for sure, and a strong one. A new wave of panic invaded her at the thought of what could happen to her if she didn't defend herself and tried to attack him but to no avail, she wasn't at her best and whoever had found her like this was strong enough to contain her. Her right hand was still clinging to that boy's chest by his hand, but now his other hand was holding her by the nape of the neck trying not to hurt her, which puzzled her more. And then she was able to focus her vision and see him clearly. Chocolate eyes, brown curls and a worried gesture. His thin, pink lips were moving fast -he was talking to her- but she couldn't figure out what they were saying. Then the boy's chest started to puff up and deflate slowly, it was almost mesmerizing and she started to imitate him. Little by little the sound returned to her.

-That's right, you do it very well -he said slowly- Inspire with me, come on -his chest puffed up and she followed him- And now we let it go -his chest deflate slowly on a par with her- Good. Once again?

Slowly everything came to her, each pounding stopped hurting, her head cleared, and her breathing was no longer so strained.

-Cute boy? -she asked looking at him.

-Actually is Peter Parker -he said laughing although the blush that appeared soon on his cheeks gave him away.

He removed the hand that had rested on the nape of her neck as if the touch suddenly burned but he was unable to move away because her hand still rested on his chest.

-What are you doing here?

-Help you with an anxiety attack?

He was so confused and she was so weakened at the time, she was clear but her head hurt. She shook her head, that wasn't what she was referring to but couldn't explain herself.

-Where I am?

-Queens. Do you want me to call someone?

-I want a hug.

And that was the most sincere thing Thalia had said in several months. Sincere and painful. Cute boy granted her what she wanted, hugged her a little awkward at first. He did his best to comfort her, one firm hand on her waist as the other circled her back, whispering words of encouragement even though he didn't know what he was comforting her for.

-We will talk about why I found you here? -he whispered not wanting to break the moment.

-You first -she whispered too.

-My aunt work at this help center. I was taking out the trash and I saw you here.

-And you still remember me? It's been almost a week since we collide.

-Well not many girls have put me against the bookshelf... It sounded fatal. I'm sorry, I didn't want to...

-It's okay -she interrupted him, she remembered that watching him rambling was fun but she wasn't for that now. Now she needed stability and he was providing it- Why do you help me?

-Because you seemed to be suffering.

Those words sounded so sincere that it hurt. It hurt as if a truck had passed her. Lately everything hurt, physically and emotionally, her world was shaking and she had nowhere to hold on.

-I know it may sound a little strange but I think it would be better to go inside-he was still whispering like he was afraid she might get another attack.

She said nothing but he carried her inside. His firm hand was still on her waist and she had an arm around his shoulders. She still needed stability and he kept providing it. The door through which they entered led them to the kitchen where five people were fighting each other to make quality food in the shortest time possible while many other people came and went carrying dishes. No one paid attention to them as they headed towards the stairs but halfway there a voice stopped them.

-Peter, how good I find you. Who's your friend?

Peter whispered an apology before turning to the woman who was looking at them with a kind smile and a playful look, her hands resting on her hips as if she had just caught two kids being mean.

-Aunt May, this is Thalia.

-Nice to meet you Thalia -smiled May- Where was my responsible and trustworthy nephew taking you?

-Even I have noticed the double meaning, Aunt May -Peter said frustrated- Is not what you think.

-So what is it, Pete?

Aunt May was folding her arms but smiling amused at the expense of Peter who was rambling again.

-Actually -it was the first time Thalia had spoken and she won May's kind and Peter's worried gaze- I'm not at my best and her nephew has offered to help me.

Thalia's frankness was received with a few seconds of silence until May gave them permission for them to go up to her office and they did. The office Peter took her to was small, with just enough space for a table, an armchair, a bookshelf full of messy folders, and a narrow sofa for visitors. Papers were scattered everywhere, even on the sofa. Peter ran to pick them up apologizing for the mess and motioned for her to sit on the small sofa.

-Do you want me to bring you something to drink or eat?

Thalia didn't answer, sat down and looked at her hands. Peter looked at her worriedly and sat next to her.

-Do you want to talk about what has happened?

But she didn't want to talk, that wasn't her thing, she didn't open herself up to people and less to people she had just met. Peter seemed genuinely concerned about her and was offering her the stability that she needed but couldn't hold on to him because if anyone saw all the shit on her...So what was she doing there? Why had she been dragged into that office and sat there? The answer came to her in a blink and she looked at him seriously.

-If I asked you for something, would you give it to me?

-If it is something within my reach... Yes, of course.

-I need a friend. Someone who doesn't ask. Would you do that for me?

Peter swallowed and nodded but nothing in the world could prepare him for what she did next. She snuggled into his chest and hid from all the bad that was chasing her, hugged him with perhaps too much strength but he didn't refuse, accepted the strength of her grip and hugged her with the same strength. Peter didn't understand the reason for that much-needed hug, it was as if Thalia was clinging to the only thing that could get her afloat and it was a strange feeling to feel so much needed by someone he hardly knew. But that was a lie because he knew perfectly well who she was, she was a spy, a thief, the agent of one of his greatest enemies and still felt that he had the responsibility to help her because she was slowly giving him all the pieces of the puzzle although she didn't know that all the pieces were given to the same person. As Spider-Man obtained the information that she didn't want to give to Peter Parker and as Peter Parker could comfort her as she didn't allow herself to be consoled by Spider-Man. It was a mess but it worked.

When Thalia opened her eyes again it was dark in the office, she was lying on the sofa and a blanket covered her. She was alone. There was a note in front of her signed by Peter promising her that he would be back soon, that if she was hungry she could snack from the kitchen. But she wasn't going to wait for him. She grabbed a jacket labeled Peter Parker and left the office. The whole building seemed to be dark but it didn't bother her, she used to work better with the lights off, she undid the path that she had done with Parker hours before and left the building through the back door. Once outside, she picked up her phone and saw that she had several missed calls and a lot of messages from the same number, but she ignored it and went to a fire escape that took her to the roof of the building. From above everything seemed smaller, including her confused thoughts. She took refuge in his jacket and allowed herself to breathe in Parker's scent again. Cute boy. She smiled.

-Should I be concerned that we always end up on a rooftop?

She turned her head lazily to verify that it was Spider-Man who was accompanying her and then continued to look at the city.

-Are you going to arrest me?

-Have you done anything illegal lately? -he stood next to her, observing the city too.

-I've convinced an innocent boy to spend the night with me -she commented as if it was nothing but it really meant something to her. Everything was easier if she pretended.

Spider-Man turned his head in surprise, then coughed and replied;

-And why are you telling me that?

-He has made me think. Well, not him but thanks to him I have been able to...-took a deep breath and released it- think clearly.

-He seems a nice person -he turned his head to look at her and then looked back quickly- Has he left you the jacket?

-Actually... I stole it from him -she smiled absently, wrapping herself in the jacket- Old habits aren't easily forgotten.

-I hope you return it.

-I hope so too -she closed her eyes, breathed in the scent of Peter Parker again and when she opened them again her gaze hardened- Spider-Man, I'm about to entrust you with important information but if I asked you for something, would you give it to me?

Spiderman's aura suddenly hardened too, preparing himself.

-Only if it's something within my reach.

Thalia must have listened to her instinct at that moment, the feeling of deja vu that suddenly enveloped her but it was at a very important moment and as that conversation ended her life would change for better or for worse.

Thalia's demands for their negotiation were reduced to one; protection for her father. She didn't care what might happen to herself. Spider-Man accepted without hesitation, promised that he would contact S.H.I.E.L.D. and that they would take care of everything. In exchange Thalia gave him names, addresses, told him of the plans they had entrusted to her and of which she had learned spying. She told him how she had ended in that situation, how everything seemed simple and innocent at first -an easy job- and how it progressively complicated until she found the shit up to her neck without escape. She told him everything and Spider-Man listened without interruption.

When she finished speaking, she headed for the fire escape stairs under the watchful eye of Spider-Man.

-Are you going to spend the rest of the night with that innocent boy?

Thalia stopped before reaching the stairs.

-No. I won't go back to him.

-Why not? He helped you think clearly ... or so you said.

She turned to see him with a wistful smile on her face.

-I don't want my shit to splash on him. He would be scared.

-Maybe you'd be surprised at what innocent boys are capable of.

-Maybe another day I'll give to my innocent boy that chance. I'll see you out there, Spider-Man.

She went downstairs and drifted down the streets of Queens. This time she knew the way home.

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