#If anyone sees this and happens to be experienced with making tutorials

[i-really-like-phrogs]

Not sure if anyone needs this, but this is something I really could have used in the past. It’s also my very first tutorial… Hooray!

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Ralsei has known what's been going on with Kris the ENTIRE time, and once you realise that, EVERYTHING he says and does around them makes a thousand times more sense. And you realise that, far from dismissing Kris's "true" self in favour of a copy, he has been working tirelessly to prop them up, to validate their most basic and fundamental choices, to keep them from the brink of despair, and perhaps even death.

We always thought it was strange, how Ralsei seems to baby Kris at times - how he offers heaps of praise upon them for performing the simplest of tasks, how he lets them express themself through violence while chastising Susie for the same thing, how at every turn he puts so much emphasis on Kris's choices, their talents, their intrinsic personhood, almost above the very prophecy he serves. We thought him mollycoddling and completely out-of-touch at best, and downright malicious at worst. We presumed he was encouraging the player to keep playing, and was in fact speaking over Kris's head directly at us. We presumed that the prophecy was all he cared about, and him encouraging Kris was simply a means to that end.

And we were wrong about all of it. Because we didn't know what Kris was truly going through until now. We thought that our possession was the worst thing that was happening to them, and that he was complicit in their suffering by trying to downplay it.

But Ralsei knew. Because Ralsei knows Kris better than anyone else - better than Susie, better than Noelle, and certainly far better than us.

Kris is hopelessly trapped, at all times. There is no hope for them, they cannot see a way to escape their bonds... not alive, in any case. Their suffering is so great, the pressures upon them so immense, that they have been hollowed out into a catatonic shell of their former self - unable to move except through great effort, unable to speak except through stilted phrases. They don't sleep or eat well at all. They don't try at school. They cannot tell anyone about what's happening, and they cannot make friends because of it. For all intents and purposes, they have given up.

But it's worse than that, because they KNOW that what they're being made to do is wrong. They don't want to do any of it, and yet they feel they cannot refuse. That knowledge eats away at them, to the point where they feel like they are inherently Bad, because only Bad people do Bad things, and they're doing Bad things all the time. They don't feel like they deserve the good things in their life because of it. They feel like they're living a lie. And no-one else knows - no-one else can possibly know.

But Ralsei knows.

Why does Ralsei go to the trouble of arranging a tutorial battle for Kris, when they've already demonstrated their capabilities fighting against Lancer? Because Kris doesn't know what they're doing during that fight. They're issuing commands, fighting alongside Susie, and they don't know how or why. They're scared, they don't know where they are, and the one other person they knew from school just ditched them. Through the tutorial, Ralsei breaks down each combat function step-by-step, walking Kris through each one with patience and restraint. And he lets them go off-piste up to a point - he'll let them attack his mannequin and say it's alright if they want to hit him too, he'll let them hug him several times throughout the tutorial, and he will show remarkable restraint throughout the entire endeavour, despite his obvious frustration at their uncooperativeness.

Seen this way, the Tutorial becomes less about the GAME teaching the PLAYER how to battle, and more about RALSEI providing to KRIS some semblance of structure and context to a new and frightening world. Both of them are literally starting at Zero, and have to establish the basics before anything further can happen.

This in turn establishes the framework for their relationship - not an annoying tutorial fairy lecturing an experienced player on things they already know, but a kindly tutor gently guiding a broken teen, one tiny step at a time. Not lashing out at mistakes, not admonishing when they try to assert themself against the established framework - he will let them fight, and let them command him to fight as well, because his desire to help Kris find themself again means he has to provide leeway for if they "misbehave". There have to be bounds, but they must feel like the choices they make matter - even if they actually don't.

When you're drowning in a world that has seemingly conspired to take your agency from you, and break you down into nothing more than a pawn that does what it's told and nothing else... even the illusion of choice is a life-preserver that you'll cling onto for dear life. The support Ralsei provides Kris in this capacity is what gives them the drive to protect Susie from King's attack - to make a choice to protect their friend, even if it wouldn't have meaningfully changed anything.

It explains his secret conversations with Kris too - while we are busy watching Susie, Ralsei is free to let Kris know that despite being literally controlled, the one controlling them is on their side, and that we will help them break free from the more insidious influence of the Knight. He has to tell them to trust in us, trust that we will do right by them to the best of our abilities. And indeed, by Chapter 2, they have become more willing to express themself through their tone of voice, through how they choose to interpret the instructions given to us, either to play pranks or to show their appreciation for the people who, despite everything, still care for them.

And even Ralsei's apparent dismissive attitude to Spamton NEO's effect on Kris can be explained through this prism. Kris is very very slowly starting to recover from the trauma of their situation, and literally EVERYTHING about Spamton is a huge trigger for them. It's not farfetched to say that Kris sees in Spamton a cautionary tale of how they will end up - used up, cast aside, wretched and desperate and bitter and broken. All of Ralsei's work building Kris back up could be undone in an instant, and so he has to tread extremely carefully - downplay its significance, offer nonthreatening proximity (he will hug Kris, but only if they hugged him on the boat ride prior to this), distract them from the immediate trauma with very basic "nice" thinks like cake, and warm/soft things. It seems dismissive at the time because we don't yet know what Spamton truly represents to Kris - not just the fear of being controlled against your will, but of being used up and broken down, and then tossed away like an unloved toy. It's only when we have that additional context that all of Ralsei's actions towards them start to make sense - not only make sense, but also show a level of care and tact that we did not previously assume him capable of.

And I suppose the last question is: why does Ralsei do any of this in the first place? Why go to this trouble when he knows he'll just be left behind, when he knows that if he succeeds, Kris will go back to the light world and live a full life without him? Well... look at the colour of his horns. If Ralsei is the horned headband, and Kris wore him for months, he would have borne witness to Kris's deepest, darkest fears about themself. It's possible that he might have seen the inciting incident that led Kris down this unfortunate path. Either way, he would have been so close to them that he'd almost be like an extension of them.

So, again - why does he do this? Because his purpose was always to guide them back to themself - first as a pair of horns to better fit in with their family, and then as a physical manifestation of those same horns to help them overcome the terrible harm that has been wrought upon them.

But more than this, I think it's because he loves them - the same way that they would have loved him when they wore him all those years ago. And isn't that what you do for the people you love - help them when they're struggling, comfort them when they're sad, gently challenge them to expand their window of tolerance, give them the tools they need to return to the light, to heal and grow back into themselves?

Ralsei knows Kris better than anyone else. And maybe we should start listening to him.

[galedekarios]

plagiarism in the bg3 fandom

disclaimer: this post should not be taken as a springboard to harrass anyone involved.

-

as i've stated previously, i didn't want to make this post because i have a lot going on in real life, but i have been watching this being done to others and myself for months now and i can't not speak about my experience anymore.

laiostoudenn (prev urls: lathanderr/spellbooking/wizardblood on tumblr / circleofspores on bsky) is a plagiarist and he has a history of stealing from other creators like @minthara, @mercymaker, @onewingedangels and others.

in this post, i, finally and after much and long deliberation, want to add my voice to theirs.

i'll try to give a chronological overview of what happened as i have come to experience it, through others and myself, and as condensed as possible and to make it easier for myself to tell:

the story

i became aware of this new blog after he @ me and he messaged me. he's been following me. i was slow to engage because i have a lot of things going on in my real life that cost me a lot of energy during the day. i have also grown cautious of too quickly becoming close to strangers online. i became aware, however, that he had been doing this with multiple bigger creators in this space, like my friend @hawke, who is also a creator in the bg3 space, and who has experienced the same behaviour. they asked me if i knew him and i replied that i did not.

that was it for me at that point and i didn't engage much beyond that because i didn't know him and i thought nothing of it - until later.

during that time, whenever i saw his creations pop up increasingly, either in the tags or on my dash, i noticed more and more that they looked familiar to the works of others, from @minthara, to @mercymaker, to @onewingedangels and other creators, including myself.

it was then confirmed that i wasn't simply imagining things when, months ago, two creators were brave enough to speak up about the fact that he has been plagiarising gifsets and edits from them:

@minthara and @mercymaker:

@onewingedangels original set posted on 31st december 2023:

his set posted on 29th january 2024 (now deleted):

this was done without consent, and after he had already copied prior sets from @onewingedangels.

i would greatly recommend reading the posts shared above, and looking at the examples provided in it, so that you get a clear picture of what's happening here. it's not one isolated incident.

if you take a look at the notes in the post, you can also see other creators speaking about their experiences.

@minthara has recently also uploaded a google docs with the screenshots of the sets stolen from them because they either have been deleted, or lead to nothing due to now multiple url changes.

i was made aware today that he, following the first posts detailing @minthara and @mercymaker's experiences, apologised at first and admitted to what he's been doing on 31st march 2024:

but sadly, this wasn't to last, and the opportunity to learn and grow wasn't taken.

instead what happened was now painted as "bullying" from other creators, as "clique" behaviour and as "gatekeeping", despite many of us operating independently from each other. i, myself, have only started speaking to one other creator involved now that i have noticed the stealing and copying still ongoing.

i have in my time on this website never gatekept anything. i have shared metas, gifsets, creations, mods, art, tutorials, and many other things freely.

but back to the matter at hand: after he has been trying to ingratiate himself to me for some time now, following me, unfollowing me, and refollowing me again until i blocked him for my own mental health, i tried to remain civil before this point, engaging rarely if at all, hoping everything would go away on its own - which was a mistake in hindsight, i realise - i noticed that once again he's been lifting entire concepts and frame-by-frame gifs and sets from me.

things that he now claims - likely after he has been made aware of my prior personal posts and @minthara and @mercymaker's post circulating again by being reblogged by other people who have been affected) - were simply "remade" or "expanded" upon, that he may have been "subconsciously" influenced, while simultaneously claiming that he didn't know these sets existed in the first place, that he came up with the ideas independently, and that it's simply inevitable to use the same scenes because it's a limited game.

this doesn't hold up under scrutiny, however.

i want to make clear that i very much understand and that i am acutely aware that i do not own scenes and i do not own mods or outfits. however, what i do like to pride myself on is coming up with concepts and scene choices and captions accompanying these concepts that are unique, inspired by my metas, headcanons pertaining to gale and my own ocs altonaufein and karl, all of which i have seen copied by him several times now.

this is not as simple as simply gifing the same lines of dialogue from a scene as he and others supporting him are now postulating and i want to make that very, very clear.

another reason why this statement doesn't hold up under any scrutiny and, what ultimately confirmed my suspicion that he has been copying me, was when he - after the first post exposing his behaviour by @minthara and @mercymaker was made - reached out to me, asking if it it's ok to copy a gifset i made (note: again, this happened after he was called out for plagiarising the first time):

i didn't respond quickly enough, so he went ahead and posted it without waiting for my response (the response i gave him is pictured above and for transparancy, i responded about a day later bc of work and irl obligations).

below you can see the stolen post and what i managed to save from it:

the set was a 1:1 copy. he wanted a version for his oc so bad that he went ahead and stole my concept anyhow, without even waiting for the permission he asked for.

he went to take it down after my reply, made cautious most likely by his still fresh callout done in march 2024 by @minthara and @mercymaker, and i thought the issue was resolved and it wouldn't happen again, that he wouldn't take again without asking, despite having been told not only by myself, but by other creators as well, no. we are not comfortable.

but no. he "remade" the set, switching out gifs while complaining about how he "had to make it original":

my set in question was made on 1st february 2024, he reached out to me on 22nd april 2024 to "remake" the set. he is well aware of the existence of these ideas and concepts and sets he wants to copy, underlined by the need to ask for permission when it's simply too obvious to otherwise deny.

it's no coincidence.

like others have had the experience, i too noticed that he often would not engage with content he planned on stealing or did go through with stealing. he would sometimes present it as his own "remake" of a set he did, of another he was "inspired" or wanted to "expand upon", sometimes crediting, sometimes crediting someone largely unrelated, sometimes and, more often, not crediting.

as i mentioned above, this was not the first and not the only set/concept, which he copied from me - whether that was before asking or after asking, or not asking at all, if it was ok to copy.

i use this example mainly to show a clear pattern of behaviour that exists across the board: he takes concepts from other creators and inserts his own oc and/or favourite character into it because he wants a version of it so very badly. it does not matter if said creator might be hurt, if they told him no, or if they exposed his behaviour before. it doesn't matter how old the set is or how recent.

it is still going on today, the only difference is that he has stopped asking at all once again.

my story completely echoes that of @minthara and @mercymaker's.

concrete examples

i will now go into more detail about the concept sets he's been copying, include the caption or quote attached to it. i'm sorry that these will not be in chronological fashion. i will add at a later point, just like @minthara has done, a google document to better do side by side comparisons, highlight the similarities visually even more, and preserve some of the sets, which have now been deleted by him as recently as today:

the theme of hands in gale's romance

-> mine posted on 23rd september 2023

versus

-> his 1 posted on 24th february 2024

-> his 2 posted on 17th june 2024

i want to preface this by saying that the theme of hands was and still is incredibly important to story of my oc altonaufein and has concept of romance with gale. again, while i do not own these scenes, i wished to highlight a theme that i identified as poignant and profound within the relationship context. it's also why i added the poetry and quotes accompanying the set.

notice how even the caption format matches. the only thing lacking are my quotes / poems.

the format matches almost entirely: gifs from the same scenes (pulling gale out of the portal, the bench scene in an illusionary waterdeep, the astral sea scene, the boat scene, and more of the boat scene). the only thing that was added in this gifset are scenes that weren't available to me back then, namely the updated proposal scene, the kisses patches, and the epilogue as they came out well after i made my original gifset.

the second re-make even contains a gif that's not only the same minute detail of a larger scene - one that anyone who played gale's romance knows contains a multitude of other parts that could have been used - but also the same frames:

mine vs his:

i suppose adding that one to the original post with the same format i had chosen for mine would have made it too obvious, but that is only speculation.

gale + missing waterdeep/home

-> mine posted on 30th september 2023

versus

-> his (deleted on 18th july 2024) so i will have to include screenshots so you may compare:

same caption format, overlapping scenes chosen, only new additions are of content that wasn't available to me back when i first made my original set (the epilogue, kiss patches and proposal scene).

an attempt at "credit" even though he is only referencing my tags on an entirely separate set of a different creator, not the concept i came up with in my original set months prior.

and even though i have told him no before, just like others have told him no before.

i think it speaks volumes that this set is now, like some others, have been suddenly and coincidentally deleted.

gale of waterdeep vs gale dekarios

-> mine posted on 20th november 2023

versus

-> his posted on 13th may 2024

the concept is entirely the same, the scenes are largely overlapping, again, the caption format is almost entirely identical, with the sole difference of me including the full quote and devnotes as i'm wont to do.

gale + i love you

-> mine posted 16th september 2023

versus

-> his 2 (a "remake" of an "older" set of "his") posted on 13th may 2024

again, the concept is entirely the same, it's same caption format, the scenes largely overlap, some of the gifs added that were not available to me when i made my set (which, again, would include the epilogue, kisses patches, and the updated proposal scene).

mermay gale

-> mine posted on 13th may 2024

versus

-> his posted on 21st may 2024

it's the same concept again, the caption format is similar, it's the same setting (camp at baldur's gate), the same armour, the same armour tint, the same 3/4 pose except mirrored, and, this time, his tags were inspired too:

my tag: #i have the worst art block still and virtually no time but i still wanted to do smth for mermay so have this

his tag: #i can't do art so heres my mermay contribution i guess

copied oc post

-> mine posted on (likely) 30th september 2021

versus

-> his originally posted on may 7th 2024, which has also now been deleted on 18th july 2024:

the only thing different was the font. sadly, i deleted my oc post since i have redesigned some of them and wanted to make an updated version of it in the future.

thankfully i found the link on my friends blog, @ayrennaranaaldmeri.

as you can see, all of these happened after the first cases of plagiarism and after i personally told him that i'm not comfortable with him "remaking" my concept sets as his.

conclusion

there are many other sets that i suspect have been copied or plagiarised, i want to remain objective, however, and include the ones i feel are the most damning examples, supported by the fact that he has been deleting some of them today while again, trying to set up his narrative to his audience.

again, i want to highlight the pattern is here with him. my post is not the first, my suspicious are the first.

he knows what he is doing wrong, highlighted by the fact of trying to ask for permission, by deleting sets in question, by, at first, apologising, whilst now talking about "gatekeeping", "bullying", "inevitable repeats of scenes", "taking inspiration", "scrolling by", being "subconsciously" influenced, etc.

as a conclusion, i can say nothing more on this topic other than that i'm very sad. it doesn't give me joy. it stressed me immensely then and it still does now. i wish he'd have taken the already admitted wrong-doing to heart and grown from it, instead of attempting to change the narrative and doubling down on his past behaviour, not examining what he has done and is doing several times over by now.

i have blocked him now, as have done many others, and will not engage further with him. we have been through this before and at this point, i don't think he will change.

what i do very much hope, however, is that this is the last i hear of this happening.

edit:

updated the links to lead to his "archive" so you can access the stolen sets that he still hasn't deleted and seems to have no intentions of doing so.

[magicmeraki]

˗ˏˋ ★ ― 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘 𝟎𝟎𝟑 - 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 ‼

Astral Projection - In Depth Tutorial ꒰୨୧ (Written as someone with diagnosed ADD who APs maybe 5/7 nights) (This is magical hero specific, given the sole purpose of my travels is witch hunts and training, but it can be tweaked for the "normies!" /aff)

CW(?): EXTREMELY LONG UNDER THE CUT!

The Golden Rule If you want to astral project, you have to put in the work. Really believe. Spend time meditating, talking to your patron/contractor (this would be whoever you made a deal with/gave your soul to in order to become a magi), study the topic, read about it, watch videos, etc. Not everyone will get it first try, and that's okay! Everyone gets the hang of it with practice! I used to only be able to do it maybe monthly, and now I do it most of the week!

Sleep Paralysis Given sleep paralysis is one of the most powerful tools for astral projection, I'll provide a method for that first! From this state, it's impossible to move, so you can easily become disconnected from your body similar to how you do in a dream or trance!

How To Enter Sleep Paralysis 1) Lie on your back. Dead still, this won't work for anyone who twitches frequently/has tourettes. Keep your mind active, think about whatever you want. Blast loud music in your headphones, anything to keep your body still but your mind up and awake. 2) Don't even think about your body. Let your thoughts consume you, forget you're anything more than a mush of brain. Don't even focus on your breathing. A lot of techniques will say to, but just let it naturally come to you, focusing on it just reminds your brain you're inhabiting a body. 3) Wait until you tingle like HELL. Not just a little buzzing or numbness, you gotta feel like you're being electrocuted (without the pain. Immediately stop if it hurts, something's wrong) for it to work properly. Most people who've experienced sleep paralysis know you tingle like crazy. 4) Stay calm. Pretend you're on vacation or some shit. You want this, you know you do, so once you're frozen, stay calm and let it happen. 5) Once you feel completely tingly, disconnected from your body, and like you're nothing but your thoughts (not even your brain, just thoughts) congratulations, you can move on to astral projection!

How To Astral Project 1) Do some heavy meditation. Get your brain in a state of drowsiness, like you're about to fall asleep. Make sure not to, though! Keep your mind active and ready, just like in sleep paralysis. Stay alert and open to responses from your body. 2) Lay down, preferably on your back with your arms at your side and your palm up. Close your eyes and just stare at the back of your eyelids until either your eyes hurt or you simply don't want to anymore. 3) Stay still. You can twitch, unlike the sleep paralysis method, but don't focus on the involuntary movement, focus on the darkness behind your eyelids. 4) Do whatever you have to. Stay awake and alert. Some magical heros are responsive, even in sleepy states like these! Strive to be just like that right now. Listen to loud music, a podcast, just do something to keep your body asleep, but your mind awake. 5) Imagine you're lifting up from your position on your back. Make sure you picture it from a first person perspective, not a third person one. Keep doing this over and over until you start to actually feel yourself lifting up. Be careful not to lift your physical body with you! 6) Once you're sat up, meditate until you start to see your room/wherever you fell asleep from behind your closed eyelids. You might be able to skip this step if sitting up gave you this ability. You should be able to look down and see your physical body below you.

How To Lucid Dream 1) Put together a playlist of subliminals/binaural beats with a timer at the end. I have one linked at the end of the post that I use! 2) Once the timer goes off, let yourself wake up, but stay as still as possible and keep your eyes shut. The alarm will turn off on its own after a bit, just ignore the beeping. 3) Take deep, controlled breaths, make your brain think you're still asleep, even if the alarm woke you up. 4) After a while you should be in a state similar to paralysis, where it feels hard, but not impossible, to move. Once you feel like your body is completely asleep, pinch your nose closed. If you can still breathe with it shut, congratulations! Open your eyes and enjoy the dream!

How To Go From Sleep Paralysis To Astral Projection 1) Focus really hard on a first person perspective of lifting your body up from the bed. Given you're in paralysis, you can't move your physical body, but your soul (or spirit, if your soul is outside your body already) can be transported, as it's not physical. 2) Do this until you feel yourself floating/lifting up. After a while, you'll start to see your room behind your closed eyes. Congratulations, you can now astral project!

How To Go From A Lucid Dream To Astral Projection 1) Summon your contractor/patron and ask them to help your soul travel back to the astral realm from the dream realm! That should be all you need <3 2) If they refuse to help/can't do that, I unfortunately don't know how to help you, as I've always had Kyubey help! Maybe look up some tutorials?

Lucid Dreaming Playlist Astral Projection Guided Meditation

Tags: @sylviasideblog, @jellyfish-collective2763

[sparklingcid3r]

i saw a clip of a slime tutorial where darry throws the bills at soda and johnny flinches. which like abhhhhhhhhh, but also, what do you think was johnnys pov watching darrys meltdown? and like wut do u think the gang thought abt darry seemingly changing overnight (which ig he did from brother to parent)?

YAPPPPP TIMEEEE‼️‼️‼️

alr so i think johnny lowkey saw it coming from a mile away. he’s the observant type, pretty much never speaking unless spoken to, so hes got a pretty good idea of what makes everyone tick. it wasn’t for a few months, but eventually johnny was able to pick up on the way darry was starting to slip. the only reason he could keep up the front of having his own emotions under control was because he was out of the house from sun up to sun down, never really giving anyone the literal time to see him wear.

johnny saw tho🤫

when it actually happened, i don’t think johnny was afraid or upset the way he is with his own parents. he knows darry better than that, the only reason he flinched was because of his home environment and the way he grew up, not because he was genuinely afraid. and also, i feel like flinching is a pretty reasonable reaction for anyone when faced with darry at his worst. like i’m not scared of anyone in my family, but i still get startled when i hear them yell🤷‍♀️ i don’t hold it against either darry or johnny for the way johnny reacted to darry physically throwing things around

as for the gang’s perspective on darry, they understood it. i’m not convinced it was an overnight flip of the switch, i think darry experienced a lot of growing pains as he adjusted to his new role. he made a ton of mistakes, but he kept going regardless because he knew how much was at stake, and that’s what kept him respected among the gang.

they’d all seen similar stuff happen, a father running out on the mother of his children when the going gets tough, a teenage mom forced to carry the child with no support, a father getting a child dumped in his lap while she skips town. look at two-bit and steve and dally, who’ve only ever mentioned one half of their whole picture.

running is easy. anyone can run when shit hits the fan. the fact is that they saw darry have chance after chance to give up, turn over his brothers, live the high life he’d worked so hard for, but he made the choice time and time again to stay. didn’t matter if he was barely keeping his head above water. he stayed, and none of them know if they could have done the same.

so yeah, they might get frustrated by him and his iron grip over his family, but they’ll always respect him for what he did. even dally (who’s a whole yap and a half), because where would pony be if darry really decided he couldn’t do it? count ur blessings dally, and maybe don’t antagonize the man who’s already killing himself for the sake of his brothers, or else he might actually agree with you. then what🧍‍♀️

what do i know tho i’m a little jackass who likes to hear herself talk lmao

[myeagleobject]

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[zorlok-if]

Hi everybody,

It's been a while. Sorry that I've been gone so long without explanation or communication, I've been in a bad place. For more info check under the cut. Otherwise, hello! I'm alive and so is this project. Progress has been stalled and will continue to be stalled because this is a hobby and I have to focus on priorities. That doesn't mean that it's dead. I still intend to release everything when I can. I appreciate your support and interest.

Hope you're all well! 😊

Albie

(cw: discussion of bad mental health, anxiety, and depression; school shooting mention)

Okay, hello! Welcome to the rest of this post.

Basically, I've been in a bad mental place for a long time and have a lot of issues that I've left unaddressed or festering—most of which tie back to depression, anxiety, fear, and self-loathing.

To start, I wasn't able to graduate this past winter because I fell one class short of my requirements. That really sent me into a spiral and put a strain on my interpersonal relationships.

Then I tried to take that last class this spring but fear related to recent school shootings exacerbated and activated some bad ND habits and I won't be able to complete this course. That means I still won't be able to graduate until I find some online equivalent or professor who will allow me to remain fully remote.

Around the time I found out I wouldn't be graduating, I also got some really cruel anon hate which added onto how I was already feeling and made me hesitant to put anything else out online.

Other things have happened: family stuff, work stuff, health stuff, sociopolitical stuff, etc. (I don't want to go into details with some and won't burden you with the rest). But, essentially, I found myself at a darker place than normal. I withdrew into myself and have been stewing in crippling self-loathing while wearing a convincing smile in my everyday life. (being really honest with this stuff so that if anyone else is going through/experienced something like this they can know they're not alone)

Fortunately, I was able to get away for a bit and spent some time with loved ones I rarely get to see. I've also made a few irl friends recently and feel like I'm coming back out of my shell and starting to heal after traumatic events and relationships. For the first time in a long time, I feel invigorated. I mean, I still feel like stinking trash, but garbage with a will to live and better itself.

As of right now, I'm moving out and finding more work so I can better support myself financially.

If you've read all this going, where's the Zorlok/(other game) update? Here you go: I've been working on Zorlok somewhat, but in the situation/place where I was at, found myself unable to justify dedicating a lot of time to writing and struggling to feel confident about what I was creating when I actually did sit down to do so. This project is in no way dead and I want to work on it and release games more than anything, but I owe it to myself and other people in my life to keep my priorities in check.

This is a hobby and in the past I dedicated time to it when I should've been doing other things. As long as this is a hobby, I can no longer take time away from my priorities to do something I just want to do (no matter how badly I want to do it). So, that's where we're at. I'm continuing to focus on critical things and stop feeling like a jerk for doing that. I know that this might disappoint some people, but that's how things are right now.

If you want to know more about where things are literally at: I'm close to finishing a heavily updated and expanded prologue but episode one has been undergoing changes. I feel pretty shit about myself and that's seeped into my view on what I create which is in turn stalling my ability to make meaningful progress that I don't immediately want to destroy. I've worked on potential Patreon content (including an exclusive game and a Creating Goncharov director's cut), made a Twine template and tutorial, and made progress on updates for Mousetrap and System Processing. I've avoided making changes to the Zorlok page (and my other itch.io pages) these past few months since I don't want people getting their hopes up seeing some sort of "update" from itch.io—only for that update to be "there's no game update yet." That's why those are still out of date, but I'll be fixing them as soon as I can.

So, that's where we are. I wish that I had way more to talk about and release, but that's not been a possibility and I'm just going to be upfront and honest—even if I am disappointed and somewhat afraid and ashamed to admit it. (that's it for the game updates, the rest just gets back to personal)

In general, I've always struggled with shame and fear and those are the main culprits for why I've been radio silent until now. I couldn't find a way to address these topics or talk about them without my odious inner critic getting triggered and shutting me down. However, I'm trying my best to not listen to that asshole because this (*gestures at everything*) must stop.

To be honest, I'm not content with prolonged existence anymore. I want to live—and that's more than I've been able to say for a long time. To be perfectly honest, for the past decade or so I've lived simply because others wanted me around, not because I wanted to be here. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of indifference being my best hope for how I feel about myself. I'm tired of forcing an apathetic soul to drag my flesh through the muck of living. I don't expect what I experience to improve, in fact things will definitely be getting tougher, but I want to change how I experience it. I want to actively live rather than passively slip by. I want to answer questions like "what do you want to do with your life?" and "what are your plans?" with more than vague shrugs and dead-hearted replies meant to brush people off the topic of the future. I want to stop passing through life as a ghost.

I'm still trying to find the motivation, purpose, or courage to genuinely live for myself instead of existing for other people. I still haven't found my "spark"—that properly and blissfully selfish reason to live—but I think wanting to search is a good start.

Anyways, I'll be around more and I'll be more honest with where I am and what's going on. It's my personal mission to deny fear's control over my life and actions. Part of that means allowing myself to be more open with people even if I'm afraid of judgment or negativity.

Excluding a few outliers, you've all been exceptionally kind and encouraging. I'm always overwhelmed and astonished with the support that's been shown to me and my creative projects and I appreciate you all. Thank you so much. Thank you for reading through this. Thank you for caring. You're part of why I'm around.

I hope that you're having a lovely day/night/et cetera and if you aren't, you're not alone ❤️.

I'll see you around. 😊 Thanks again,

Albie

[penwiper]

So a couple days ago, some folks braved my long-dormant social media accounts to make sure I’d seen this tweet:

And after getting over my initial (rather emotional) response, I wanted to reply properly, and explain just why that hit me so hard.

So back around twenty years ago, the internet cosplay and costuming scene was very different from today. The older generation of sci-fi convention costumers was made up of experienced, dedicated individuals who had been honing their craft for years.  These were people who took masquerade competitions seriously, and earning your journeyman or master costuming badge was an important thing.  They had a lot of knowledge, but – here’s the important bit – a lot of them didn’t share it.  It’s not just that they weren’t internet-savvy enough to share it, or didn’t have the time to write up tutorials – no, literally if you asked how they did something or what material they used, they would refuse to tell you. Some of them came from professional backgrounds where this knowledge literally was a trade secret, others just wanted to decrease the chances of their rivals in competitions, but for whatever reason it was like getting a door slammed in your face.  Now, that’s a generalization – there were definitely some lovely and kind and helpful old-school costumers – but they tended to advise more one-on-one, and the idea of just putting detailed knowledge out there for random strangers to use wasn’t much of a thing.  And then what information did get out there was coming from people with the freedom and budget to do things like invest in all the tools and materials to create authentic leather hauberks, or build a vac-form setup to make stormtrooper armor, etc.  NOT beginner friendly, is what I’m saying.

Then, around 2000 or so, two particular things happened: anime and manga began to be widely accessible in resulting in a boom in anime conventions and cosplay culture, and a new wave of costume-filled franchises (notably the Star Wars prequels and the Lord of the Rings movies) hit the theatres.  What those brought into the convention and costuming arena was a new wave of enthusiastic fans who wanted to make costumes, and though a lot of the anime fans were much younger, some of them, and a lot of the movie franchise fans, were in their 20s and 30s, young enough to use the internet to its (then) full potential, old enough to have autonomy and a little money, and above all, overwhelmingly female.  I think that latter is particularly important because that meant they had a lifetime of dealing with gatekeepers under our belts, and we weren’t inclined to deal with yet another one.  They looked at the old dragons carefully hoarding their knowledge, keeping out anyone who might be unworthy, or (even worse) competition, and they said NO.  If secrets were going to be kept, they were going to figure things out for ourselves, and then they were going to share it with everyone.  Those old-school costumers may have done us a favor in the long run, because not knowing those old secrets meant that we had to find new methods, and we were trying – and succeeding with – materials that “serious” costumers would never have considered.   I was one of those costumers, but there were many more – I was more on the movie side of things, so JediElfQueen and PadawansGuide immediately spring to mind, but there were so many others, on YahooGroups and Livejournal and our own hand-coded webpages, analyzing and testing and experimenting and swapping ideas and sharing, sharing, sharing.  

I’m not saying that to make it sound like we were the noble knights of cosplay, riding in heroically with tutorials for all.  I’m saying that a group of people, individually and as a collective, made the conscious decision that sharing was a Good Things that would improve the community as a whole.  That wasn’t necessarily an easy decision to make, either. I know I thought long and hard before I posted that tutorial; the reaction I had gotten when I wore that armor to a con told me that I had hit on something new, something that gave me an edge, and if I didn’t share that info I could probably hang on to that edge for a year, or two, or three.  And I thought about it, and I was briefly tempted, but again, there were all of these others around me sharing what they knew, and I had seen for myself what I could do when I borrowed and adapted some of their ideas, and I felt the power of what could happen when a group of people came together and gave their creativity to the world.

And it changed the face of costuming.  People who had been intimidated by the sci-fi competition circuit suddenly found the confidence to try it themselves, and brought in their own ideas and discoveries.  And then the next wave of younger costumers took those ideas and ran, and built on them, and branched out off of them, and the wave after that had their own innovations, and suddenly here we are, with Youtube videos and Tumblr tutorials and Etsy patterns and step-by-step how-to books, and I am just so, so proud.  

So yeah, seeing appreciation for a 17-year-old technique I figured out on my dining-room table (and bless it, doesn’t that page just scream “I learned how to code on Geocities!”), and having it embraced as a springboard for newer and better things warms this fandom-old’s heart.  This is our legacy, and a legacy the current group of cosplayers is still creating, and it’s a good one.  

(Oh, and for anyone wondering: yes, I’m over 40 now, and yes, I’m still making costumes. And that armor is still in great shape after 17 years in a hot attic!)  

[tea-and-panthers]

just a quick post. i was reading a few article on how to identify bot accounts and discover that i may be miss identified as a bot/spam account since i’m new and dont know much about this wild west of a platform.

so I am here to help assist other newcomers with a summary of my research, keeping in mind I’ve only been here for a day so if someone more experienced is giving out advice theirs is probably better.

1. bot/spam accounts generally have a default icon and background. (fixed this up first thing i did after making the account was add an icon and i just uploaded a background)

Recommend course of action: add an Icon and background as soon as possible. and maybe play around with you theme a bit.

2.username looks inappropriate or spam like. (this isn’t a problem for me since i didn’t do this because why would I)

Recommend course of action: just don’t, if you may have made this mistake, best to change it.

3. a blog is sending messages that are asking if you want content that is potentially nsfw, example ‘do you want pictures of n***d women on your phone’

Recommend course of action: report and block. i speak from experience, i got one of these messages and didn’t even finish reading it before blocking and reporting. also don’t send this type of message to people wether or not they think you are a bot that would make anyone uncomfortable and explicit content is against community guidelines.

4. apparently like strings on accounts and large amounts of reblogging are suspicious.

so say you go to someone account and read like there art or something and you like everything there. apparently 10 or more likes on one account within a short time period is considered a like string.

this is one I found myself guilty of, so what happened was I found the account of someone who made a series of tutorials on how to draw kobolds that I had found in pinterest so I followed the and i wanted like all the tutorials (there where 10) but i decided that liking just the tutorials seemed suspicious so i liked some art in between (it’s good art.) i now see that liking just the tutorials would have not been as suspicious. to that person, sorry for the spam likes, I have learned my lesson.

Reblogging, so something like 40 or more rebloggs in a day with little context, than nothing for a few days looks suspicious.

Recommend course of action:

like strings; of you come across an account you really like just like 3 or 4 posts and follow. you will get another chance to like more.

Reblogging; i don’t see this one being much of a problem if you just casually use tumblr. I myself have spent some time (but not all my time) on tumblr and Liked around 250 posts over 24 hours but have only reblogged 12 (which is probably still a lot) but i have also added something with the reblog such as a comment along with the normal tags people usually only put (i feel bad reblogging without contributing something). the only way i think you would reach a number like 40+ is if you are on all day with nothing else to do and are reblogging every third post you see (not that i’m judging, apparently reblogging helps more that likes.) or you are reblogging reblogs in response to them on a post that went viral. if you are adding to those i don’t really think that would be suspicious. And try not to reblog too many posts from one blog in a short amount of time that seems very spammy

REPOSTING IS NOT THE SAME AS REBLOGGING

reblogging, if you like the reblog it likes the original post. this is helping in most cases from what i’ve read. (just try not to over do it.)

reposting is copying the image or text (some cases both) and uploading it on your own, often done without permission form or crediting the original author. this is not helpful, if you have permission form the original author and you credit them, that should be ok.

yet again, i am also new and may be mistaken about some of the stuff here. this is based on personal experience and research i’ve done.

hope this helps others new users to this wild west. I intend on posting my art soon i just need to get it all together first, that i can upload a few pieces at a time.

If you are an experienced user who has any corrections of stuff to add I’m sure new users like myself would love the help.

[kageyuji]

How the pretty setter squad kisses

-> warnings ; kissing, making out

-> includes ; oikawa, kageyama, kenma, suga, and akaashi

a/n ; idk which group i want to do next! i was thinking about aces or liberos, but who would you guys want?

oikawa —

i feel like oikawa is the most experienced out of all of them, i just think he’s been in more half-relationships than the others

the first kiss probably happens at a very light hearted time; the two of you were somewhere just relaxing, laughing at some dumb joke or story he’d said when he suddenly asks if he can kiss you

you’d smile and say yes, he’d smile too and lean in

he’s very gentle and his lips are softer than you’d expected

his hands rest on the sides of you neck with his thumb on your jawline, pulling you just a little bit closer to him

you feel him smiling against your lips and then pull away, leaving you flustered although he seemed relatively calm about what had just happened

he’s probably the calmest out of everyone

not in a way that he didn’t care about this kiss, because he definitely did care, i just think he’s had a lot more first kisses

he isn’t very consistent with his kisses; sometimes slow and soft, other times rough and passionate

sometimes he rests his forehead on yours and just kind of. sits there

he finds it very calming, or so he says (we all know it’s because he lowkey wants you to kiss him again)

he also likes to gently kiss the tips of your fingers whenever you’re cuddling, he finds it very sweet??

also, i feel like he’s the type to give you sleepy kisses

like he’s half asleep, you both had long days, he just leans in and very lazily gives you something that’s more than a peck but not quite a kiss

makeout sessions are,,,,interesting to say the least

he’s very handsy and flirty, and he loves to be marked up

he would gladly show off any hickeys he earned (yes, earned)

he’s very passionate when it comes to making out w you <///////3

he likes you in his lap whenever you’re making out, his hands on your back with your arms preferably thrown over his shoulders

he watches makeout tutorials don’t @ me ABSJDBF

he also holds his hand on the small of your back so he can hold you against him, you don’t really notice it until you go to move away from him

but he’s holding you the entire time you’re making out

kageyama —

you’re going to have to initiate the first kiss; he doesn’t quite know how to ask so he waits for you

but also, it takes him a while to trust you enough to let his walls down a little bit

it’s not a person thing, he just isn’t one to rush into something, even if he’s known you for a while

which is why it took a long while for you to make the first move

you leaned in slowly, making sure he didn’t pull back

“can i...?” you asked

he looked awkward and even a little nervous, but he nodded

with that, you closed the distance between you two

he is a little confused as to what to do with his hands, does he hold your hand? does he hold your face? it feels awkward to have them at his sides but can he touch you?

when you put your hand on the side of his face, he freezes up at first but then leans into your touch

he’s also probably the first to pull back

it’s not that he wants to, his brain is just a fried mess of trying to figure out if he’s a good kisser, if he did it right, was he awkward? how long is a kiss supposed to last?

of course, you know absolutely none of this because he’s not that great at expressing his emotions

he has an expression on his face that’s something like panic

he has so many thoughts. he’s running through it in his mind again. he’s screaming internally

on the outside he’s still doing the 😧😳 face

after the first kiss, they go a little bit smoother but not really

it takes him a while for the kisses to get less awkward

also he’s much more a fan of quick pecks than full on kissing

however, makeout sessions are bound to happen at some point

he’s hella awkward about it at first, he’s literally never made out with anyone before

again, he doesn’t quite know what to do with his hands in the beginning

eventually he figures it out and things go a lot more smoothly, but he’s still slightly hesitant

i feel like he wants you to set the pace, at least to begin with; he doesn’t want to seem too controlling or too pushy

but once he figures out what you like he can takeover if you want him to

kenma —

i feel like with kenma, you’d have to make the move to initiate the first kiss

it’s not that it’d be impossible for him too, he just isn’t that big on kissing, he’d rather cuddle or something

so finding an opportunity to kiss you just isn’t on his mind

that’s not to say if the perfect opportunity arose he wouldn’t though

i feel like the two of you would have been snuggling, you perched beside him while he was playing on his switch

and you would have had to pec his cheek to get his attention, when he turned to you he looked a little confused

but you couldn’t help but notice how close your faces were together

“can i kissed you?” you asked him, and watched a soft smile pull at his lips

“mhm,” he answered

you leaned and pressed your lips against his, him kissing you back

he isn’t very touchy, it’s just a soft, feather-light touch on your side

also, if you kiss him while he’s holding something in his hands or he’s got his hands in his pockets, he most likely isn’t going to set the object down and take his hands out of his pockets

so it can get awkward with touching but only if you think about it too much VAHDFBNF

he honestly isn’t that big on kissing, he will sleepy nuzzle into you though? or give you a quick peck before he leaves

or he also like holding your hand, but not in like an actual way. he’ll like,,,want your arm thrown lazily over his arm or something

makeout sessions with kenma are,,,,something else, i suppose

it’s not that kenma doesn’t care about the relationship, he just isn’t a very passionate lover WHSUDBFN

so makeout sessions w him are not only rare, they’re rather sloppy

they aren’t consistent, either

sometimes he’ll want hickeys, other times not.

sometimes he wants you on his lap, his hands holding you somewhere

while other times he genuinely couldn’t care how you’re sitting

he’s usually still very gentle, but he’s pretty versatile about it so whatever you ask he’ll probably do

suga —

uhm. i’m so bad at writing suga anyway so uh basically

i feel like he’s not the type that like,,,ask you out of no where

the first time, you’ll definitely see it coming before he asks if he can kiss you

he’s smiling the entire time he asks, and even if you say no to him the smile never drops from his face

if you do say yes, he lets out something like a chuckle and leans in to kiss you

he is no way a rough kisser, he’s very soft and gentle

he has one hand on the side of your face and the other is on your waist

the first kiss is probably short, but when he breaks away from you he’s still just inches away from you face and his hand is still resting lightly on your cheek

so if you lean again by no means is he going to stop you

he’s pretty calm about it, i’m not saying he’s smooth by any means AHSJFJNF but he’s probably the most calm out of all of the setters

he’s used to initiating kisses i think, but he actually kind of loves it whenever you try to move first

the first kiss actually wasn’t so awkward, but it slowly becomes less and less so the further into the relationship

sugas the type to pepper light kisses all over your face

but i also feel like his kisses get a lot more lazy the further into the relationship? not in a bad way, but he’s the type to give you sleepy, half-kisses

suga is v sweet w his makeout sessions!! he always asks before giving hickeys, he’s very gentle about moving you or adjusting if any awkward situations happen

he’s probably the most verbal? he asks a lot of questions

he starts off very soft and gentle, but based on how into it you get the more he’ll adjust to what you want

hickeys are kinda. eh, i suppose. he’s a-okay giving them, but unless you ask or want to he isn’t gonna ask for hickeys on himself

akaashi —

who makes the first move is kind of 50/50, akaashi has a lot of anxiety but also he isn’t afraid to speak his mind

he’s also very intuitive so i feel like he’d be able to tell whenever you were ready, and if you were too afraid to say something he’d definitely make the first move

i also feel like akaashi is probably the sweetest out of all of the boys when it comes to asking you

he’ll grab you hand, looking you right in the eyes and asking you straight forward if he can

whenever you say yes, he’ll smile and lean in of course

he’s a bit rougher with his kisses than you’d originally expected, his hand under your chin in order to pull him closer to you

he’s got to be holding you in some way; wether it’s a hand on your waist or just him holding your hand

he’s probably the first to pull away - his kisses are kind of short compared to the others’

he’ll probably pull away from you a little, although not all the way. your faces are still close, but not too close

he’s smiling, a dry laugh coming from him

his other kisses usually happen in a similar manner, although how he kisses can change from time to time

he can definitely kiss a lot softer sometimes though as well

makeout sessions are sort of a different story? kind of?

he starts off slow, but then gets more rough the more into he gets

he likes to leave hickeys, but if you don’t want any it’s not like he’s gonna complain

he’ll claim to be embarrassed whenever you leave hickeys on him, although he secretly loves it whenever his team sees them

he’s not handsy per se, one hand rest on his waist and moves up and down and the other is on your back

he’s also another thats verbal, he likes to communicate w you, asking if this is ok or if you’d like this

he likes it whenever you run your fingers through his hair, curling your fingers and tugging lightly

[supersizemeplz]

Werther’s Caramel

Winston Duke x Black PlusSized Reader

Another #supersizedfic mini. I know nothing about taking a flight so hopefully I got some descriptions right. Though there isn’t many. This was inspired by the tweet below and the initial idea for the fic has been sitting to collect dust until a hour or so ago. Enjoy!

Intercom speakers, commercials from televisions, and blended conversations fought against one another for dominance. Hundreds of tiny wheels moved in a non-synced dance, following behind their owners. Keeping up as best they can as if they were small children with a long legged guardian. The hustle and hassle of the airport was busier this evening than anyone had expected. A small crowd of people were stationed near your designated area, waiting to board the plane that would take them to the peaceful destination of their choice.

An airpod rested in your ear as you waited for your turn to get onto the large aircraft. The soft voice of Sza waltzing through your ear canal. Wiggling your toes against your slides, you could faintly see the white polish they held from the thin fabric of your neon purple socks. "Have a great flight." An attendant spoke out to no one in particular, more likely saying it because it was her job. You flashed a small smile as you walked through the single door and behind the people in line ahead of you.

Aside from accidentally being shoulder checked with someones bag as you passed, it was a smooth transition to your seat. You sat in the window seat, opening the small cover to see the lot of the airport. A few workers moved about quickly as they did they're jobs. Taking a deep breath you relaxed against the seat and smiled. You deserved a break, and you didn't mind having to take it alone. Movement to your eyes brought your attention to your seat mate, you assumed before he confirmed it by putting his carry-on over head. He stood tall, with broad shoulders and toned arms that matched his physique really well. His eyes never met yours but you didn't mind the extra moments to admire him.

Dark gray Nike shorts covered his equally toned thighs. He didn't miss a leg day, you were certain. His matching sweatshirt hid the thin chain he wore around his neck but you could definitely make it out from the light hitting it when he moved around. Once he took a seat and adjusted with the little leg space granted to him, he happened to look over to you. He smiled and your heart skipped a beat. A small gap caught your eye. "Hi, how are you? I’m Winston." His voice sent a tingle over your body as you replied politely with your name.

Nothing more was said once he nodded at your response and you went back to your window view. You moved your focus to turning you phone to airplane mode, happy when a third person didn't come to separate you and the handsome giant. Flight attendants began to head towards the front for their usual instructions and you half listened to their words. Having heard them a few times before.

Though you were relaxed and comfortable with the flight experience, not everyone was as experienced. You looked over at the tense male beside you, seeing him take deep breaths as the flight attendants continued their live action tutorial. He rested against the cushioned seat with a grip to the arm rests on either side of him. A small smile caught your lips before you knew it. First time flyer.

You went into your fanny pack, searching for the golden wrappers that always had a home in your purse. "Want a caramel?" Your voice was soft and easing, catching his attention despite the distraction up front. He looked to the candy in your hand before he looked back at you. "It'll help you relax a bit. You look a little stressed."

Contemplating a moment more, he accepted the offering and watched you pop one in your mouth before following your action. “Thanks.” He enjoyed the candy before he gave a nervous chuckle. “It’s that obvious, huh..”

You gave a soft laugh, nodding. “Yeah. With the death grip you have on those poor armrests..” Turning your body towards him as well as you could, you gave him a genuine smile. “I was the same way my first trip, and I was solo. These bad boys helped a little along with the grip I had on the armrests.”

“Ok..” He chuckled a little, loosening his grip on them. “I guess I didn’t realize how much I’m afraid of heights.” You could still see a little uneasiness in his posture so you became the support you’d wanted in your nervous moment. Holding out a hand, you offered your support.

“If anybody asks I’ll tell them I’m a little nervous.” You winked, teasing. He laughed at that as he accepted your hand. A small squeeze to his hand made him relax more with a slow breath. “There you go.”

He spoke you name after a small moment of silence between you both. You acknowledged him with a friendly, “Yes?”. “Do you mind if I have another one of those caramels?”

Laughing, you took out two and handed them to him. “I told you they’d help.”

Your daughter let out a laugh, stopping her current task of stirring the noodles. “Mama, there ain’t no way daddy was scared of flying.” She sigh happily, shaking her head. “All we do is travel now.”

You grinned. “I got him into it, hunny. We decided to spend that trip together since we were both alone. Going to restaurants and tours together..” The memories of the trip flashed through your mind in pieces. “He took me back there to propose a year later, actually. We got married once we came back and brought two beautiful children into the world, you and your brother.”

“Awww. How come you’ve never told me this story before? I just figured you liked the candy a lot.” She smiled. Her focus going back to the food.

“I do. They’re my favorite.” You laughed, moving about the kitchen with ease. “I just happened to bag you father with them.” Winking, you both giggled at the fact.

"What y'all in here gossiping about?" Winston entered into the room, kissing your daughters forehead before he came to you. Slipping his hands around your waist, he smiled.

"Nothing, just telling her a story from the past.. You want a caramel?" You held up the gold wrapper from your apron pocket. He smiled, accepting the candy with a smile. Pecking your cheek as he thanked you and went back to check on your son. You and your daughter looked to each other once he left the room before laughing loudly.

______________________________

Taglist

@sisterwifeudaku @kumkaniudaku @wawakanda-btch @theunsweetenedtruth @marvelmaree @chaneajoyyy @wakanda-inspired @princesskillmonger @liviy00 @xsweetdellzx @muse-of-mbaku @killmongerdispussy @thehomierobbstark @princessstevens @killmongerthiskoochie @cecereads209 @beautifullmelodyxx @soufcakmistress @melodyofmbaku @awerkofart

[analviel]

TIM DRAKE IS NOT ROBIN

It just so happens when Tim was planning to find Dick, his parents suddenly call him to tell him that there's a party or an event or just something on the other side of the world he can attend with them.

Sometimes they do this and Tim always says yes. It's as rare as leap years. Meaning it has happened only three times in his life before. He agonized over it. But you know, Tim's just a kid and there's no guarantee he can actually do something about Batman and Nightwing. Besides, Batman's been managing -if you can call it that- this long, with Alfred by his side, who's words certainly weights more heavily than the neighbours kid. He can afford a couple of weeks away from Gotham. By that time, Batman probably would've gotten his head straight. He's a hero, he's like, really strong, if anyone can get through this... besides, Tim figures Superman or Wonder Woman will do something before he truly crosses the line, right? Why would a kid know better than real superheroes, right? They must just be waiting until they're really needed. Right? Even though Tim personally thinks they should've at the very least locked Batman up somewhere he can't harm anyone or himself if they can't convince Dick to go back to being Robin. They're heroes.

Tim really wants to spend time with his parents. But before he leaves, he sends letters to every place he thinks Dick may be. The Titans Towers, his apartment in Bludhaven, where he lives with Starfire, Haly's circus, even to houses of his friends heroes. (Tim is twelve/thirteen alright. And one that has maybe below average self-awareness and his letters were very polite even if the act itself might've been vaguely sort of threatening).

So Tim leaves Gotham to spend time with his parents. It's busy, his parents keep him busy, and he doesn't have much time to dedicate to the news from Gotham. And really, if this is how it always is, no wonder his parents don't always have attention to spare on their kid in Gotham. So many things to do, so many things to attend, so many people to meet, and even more sites to visit. And the fighting. Tim hadn't realize it was this bad and suddenly thinks that, you know, it might've been better if he did stay back home. He realizes his parents actually brought him with them because they think a kid will somehow... magically fix them...??? Tim doesn't know, adults can be stupid.

Eventually, they realize the wrong in their ways and sends Tim back when his presence proves ineffective. Tim comes back to the city burning.

Well, not literally, but sort of.

Parts of it are burning. But not the whole thing. That's something.

Batman has been missing. And looking into it, at his last appearance, Tim surmise he retained a heavy wound.

(Or he's dead, not like they'll reveal it to the city just to cause more chaos and panic.) Batman seems to be out of the field and that was what Tim wanted, before he would've crossed the line.

Only, thing is, he'd already revealed too much weakness. The Batsignal had been taken down after one too many close calls on the perps they pick up. And the violence only raised from there.

(The first month when Batman and Robin and Batgirl's absence started to become suspicious. The second month Batman is deep in his spiral of violence. The third month Tim follows him around and then makes plants to pick up Dick that doesn't come to fruition and then sends his letters and then leaves. Six weeks with his parents, a few days from and to Gotham, two weeks to get caught up with what happened in Gotham. Batman is out, recovering, resting, dying, who knows.

Five months was all it took for Gotham to go to hell. And all it took was one dead son.)

Spoiler rises.

Gotham has a new champion.

Tim regrets that he hadn't been able to help. Tim will help.

Tim has a new champion.

Spoiler has a fixation on Cluemaster. It's not that difficult to go from there.

As long as, one, you know who was giving the police the answers to Cluemaster's gimmick. And two, that you know there even is a new vigilante because Spoiler is not like Batman who beats perps and leave them on the sidewalk for the police to pick up.

For wearing an almost eyesearing purple costume, Spoiler prefers to keep in the shadows and if not for the time Tim had trailed after Batman's madness, he wouldn't have learned the streets enough to notice the hints.

Tim purchase a laptop, watch tutorials day in and day out, buys pieces from junkyards to fiddle with wires and boards, and leaves Stephanie Brown a gift on her windowsill with a purple ribbon. Tim greets Spoiler over the comms. He calls himself Asset.

(It is not well-thought out because Stephanie takes to calling the mystery person who snuck into her room and refuses to give anything about themselves out 'Ass'. Tim did not actually sneak into her room but sent a drone to drop off his gift. Steph doesn't budge.)

Tim is not yet good enough to hack into cameras around Gotham. He finds he's good with a computer but not that good, his real talent lies not in the software but in the wires and soldering iron and the tiny bug camera/audio he has Spoiler plant around Gotham. If he can't take other cameras, he'll make them. (Also in case someone more experienced at hacking than he is manages to get in the system, Tim has a self-destruct button just for that. Yes, Dr. Doofenshmirtz is a good role models for mad scientist wannabes.)

A week is all it takes for Spoiler and Asset to get all the necessary evidence against Cluemaster. They celebrate. They are thirteen year olds and they just prevented a bomb from going off and put a bad man behind bars. They are high. They find more cases, for the most part C-rank villains and bellow but they also help with the big names by Spoiler planting more cameras and Tim sending the data and feeds for her to drop off to Jim Gordon. He is the only one who knows of the characters that have risen after Batman's sleep and can guess enough from Spoiler's stiff shoulders to keep that to himself.

Then...

Then it is six months and two weeks.

Tim watch from his now multiple screen behind his walk-in closet as a grave is dug out from the inside. Because S&A have put cameras everywhere just in case. After all, it's places you think are of no interest that criminals will sought to make deals in.

Tim does not send his partner to what may be a zombie but instead tells her to clear the direction Jason is stumbling towards. It takes him minutes to realize that Jason is patrolling his Robin patrol. Jason is sent to the hospital and Tim contacts them to list him under the Drakes, paying for his room and every other necessities. Has him transferred to the hospital that Drake medical industries is personally funding. When asked the name, Tim says Alvin Draper. He gets a cab to the hospital, finds Jason knocked out, peers at Robin's face. It's when they're alone, the previously dead boy's hands wrapped in bandages that Tim confirms in disbelief that as far as he knows, the boy matches Jason Todd. As if him digging his way out of Jason Todd's grave wasn't enough. Granted, Tim doesn't even know the shade of his eyes, so he's not the best judge.... Tim snaps a picture from different angles of the room and takes another cab back to Bristol while thinking up a story.

Tim knocks on the neighbour, tells them he's got something of Jason and if he can see Mr. Wayne. Tim is surprised himself by how relieved he is to see Bruce standing alive and well. Or not standing, leg and arm in a cast, an IV beside him on the couch in the drawing room. Tim weaves his story. Little Tim Drake wandering around Gotham, stumbles on a bunch of medic picking up a boy that Tim recognises as the neighbour's dead kid, pays for his hospital bills, takes a couple of pictures after the first aid or whatever and gives Bruce the pictures. Bruce makes his way to the hospital.....

I've lost steam at this point.

You decide if they arrive to see Jason and Bruce and Alfred is all tearful while Tim awkwardly leaves the room to resume his brainstorming on the S&A latest case, or they find an empty bed and Bruce goes on a frenzy tracking his undead lost son.

Additional idea: So Tim not being there didn't kill Bruce, but Bruce has been crippled and Batman is dead now. So without Robin, Batman did die.

Maybe Dick comes back to become Batman with Jason as his Robin, since that's not a combination often seen (Or the Batman Jason and Robin Tim, that's more common, though I'm loath to give up Spoiler and Asset). Around this time Babs comes back to the scene as Oracle with the birds of prey.

Additional additional idea to how they'll work with everyone back on the scene: since the Bats have the fighters and more equipped to report to time sensitive stuff, maybe S&A focus more on cold cases. Where Spoiler goes sneaking around, poking at old cases with Asset in her ears, figuring out puzzles and old clues, making breakthrough after breakthrough and bringing long overdue justice together.

Either the Drakes dies without Batman there to slap the poison out of Jack's hands because he's too busy searching for his son, or maybe they live with Tim able to direct Batman there immediately. Either way, Drake industry sponsors S&A, so now Spoiler also has toys like the Spoil... er plane??? Spoiler bike??? Eh, the name's work in progress.

[hualianff]

ASMR/Streamer AU

Thinking about an AU with video-game streamer HC and ASMRist XL. Both have huge followings on Youtube and other social media; both never show their faces.

On his channel, MantouASMR, XL uses audio from everyday things like cutting fruit or typing at his computer. Other times, he plans out a general script to help his viewers sleep or motivate them for the day. XL writes and reads his own poetry, as well as sings on his channel too.

XL strives to be the most attentive and considerate content creator. He is constantly reading his viewers’ comments and taking up their suggestions for future videos. Anything to help his viewers get through their day or lift their mood.

(One time, XL read a comment from the parent of a child who was MantouASMR’s superfan. XL’s voice apparently helped their son sleep when he’s scared of the monster under his bed. In his next “Time to Sleep” video, XL iterated a short thank you message for the son and his parent for listening and watching his videos, and he hoped he could continue helping in the future.)

(Another time, XL read a comment from a student who said his voice helped her concentrate on her maths homework—though she mentioned she still doesn’t understand integrals and derivatives. The following day, XL uploaded an ASMR math lesson.)

XL’s voice is known to be very soothing, his whispers as airy and delicate as a spring breeze. His lower register is smooth like honey, and anyone who happens to hear his melodious laughs on a live stream instantly falls in love with his character.

On the other hand, HC’s voice is enticingly deep but has a deadly edge to it. He has no shortage of vulgar language, especially when it comes to playing with other streamers. When HC posts an occasional video that’s not video-game-related such as a rare Q&A, he’s somewhat more pleasant.

Of course, HC is incredibly grateful for his followers’ support. He just finds himself involved in too much internet bullshit even when he respectfully minds his own business. HC supposes that it comes with being China’s number one video game streamer—Crimson Rain Ghost King—watched by millions all around the globe. However, this doesn’t stop HC from being vocal about his opinions and expressing himself without giving a fuck what others thought.

Naturally, HC and XL are in completely separate circles on the Youtube platform. As far as their fans are concerned, a mellow ASMRist and a brash gamer don’t interact with each other...

Here’s the catch: Hualian are secretly married.

XL and HC have been together for over ten years now—married for just under three years. They felt no need to disclose their full relationship when HC began gaining popularity as a streamer, nor when XL’s channel tripled in size a few years later.

In his lives, XL often mentions his mysterious husband a lot. For the third anniversary of his channel, XL retells his wedding day. The picture for the video is of HC’s and his intertwined hands with a red string attaching their middle fingers.

HC was the first one to subscribe to XL’s channel (from a side account). He never fails to remind XL that “Gege has many gifts to share with the world.”

Out of nowhere, a trashy review journal bashes XL’s videos, calling them unoriginal and lowkey creepy because XL is “...a full-grown man whispering random shit that people love for some reason.” HC tries to keep XL from reading the article, but he’s too late. What’s worse is that other media sites speculate XL’s identity after, trying to expose him.

XL has experienced media backlash in the past. This event has him revisiting trauma where he nearly lost everyone in his life. He also went through severe depression and has developed major anxiety since then. One of the main reasons XL started his Youtube channel was because he wanted to be the person of comfort he wished he had had during those dark times.

Witnessing how affected XL is by the article and online hate, HC’s already-thin patience is close to snapping. That specific journal does nothing but writes drama-seeking shit about creators with a notable platform–HC included. Not that he gives a fuck about it.

Except they made XL their next target, and that is unacceptable. HC promptly makes a video grilling the hell out of the journal and the writer who published the article, making it very clear that, “Whoever reads and supports this bullshit are the scum of the Earth.”

HC uploads the video, then proceeds to make a XL-care-burrito. He feeds his husband, keeps him warm, and cuddles him all day. After dinner, XL feels renewed with energy, thoroughly enjoying his Saturday with his biggest, most devoted fan. XL decisively unwraps himself from the burrito and goes to make that sewing tutorial ASMR video he planned for the weekend.

HC’s viewers are once again curious as to if he has connections to XL. They begin digging up evidence but after the short investigation, it seems not to be the case.

Of the two instances XL couldn’t edit out him saying his husband’s name on live, no one seemed to agree on what the two muffled syllables were. XL never shows above his chest (he wears a facemask in case of a slip-up) or goes into too much detail with his stories. Both XL and HC’s other social media accounts are squeaky clean. Plus, you can count on one hand how many times HC has mentioned anything about his personal life.

Their fans stop their analysis, for the most part; XL’s viewers adamant about protecting his privacy and HC’s viewers not wanting to piss their idol off.

With Youtube being an important and time-consuming side of their life, XL and HC make sure to balance their personal, professional, and romantic lives as best as they can, or re-evaluate priorities when things begin to go downhill.

In addition to streaming, HC works as an animator for a respectable company. He has flexible work conditions and schedules.

HC during his stream debuting a new popular game: “I helped make this game, of course I know what I’m doing.” XL watches from the side wearing an adoring and proud smile.

XL is an open and free-spirited soul, so he switches side jobs often such as a barista, salesman, model, etc.

HC’s other hobbies include photography, music, traditional art, and bowling. (He has impeccable aim for obvious reasons.) XL enjoys seeing his friends (SQX, MUA; MQ, lawyer; FX, lawyer), cooking, reading, and skateboarding.

Extras:

-HC often streams with XL in his lap.

-Hualian create NSFW ASMR for themselves.

-(HC in their bed, listening to one of XL’s ASMR videos...

XL, smiling like a minx and slipping into bed shirtless: “Why watch my video when you have the real thing right here?”)

-Someone edits a comedic video with XL and HC’s voices, comparing their styles and approaches to speech. It garners lots of attention for their respective channels, the hashtag #mantouxcrimson ??? trending for a few days.

Video title: You’re friends with both Mantou Gege and Crimson Rain

(In the video)

Situation 1: You haven’t started your homework and it’s already midnight.

XL’s voice: “Whatever you do, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You can’t do things well if your mind is unwell. Try to finish the things that need to be done, but be kind to yourself~~”

HC’s voice: “You little fucker, what have you been doing this whole time!? If you don’t do your job in the next five seconds, I’ll make sure to bury your worthless dead body where no one can find you-“

(Brainchild with @no-one-says-hi)

[bts-bay-bee]

Jungkook’s NSFW Alphabet

Word count: 2649

Warnings: smut (obviously), a little mxm? sex toys

A/N: hi guys :) so this basically marks the end of my little hiatus. please let me know if you enjoyed this! i appreciate any and all feedback. also this is for kookie because it’s his birthday next week <3

(not important but quite possibly my favourite picture of kookie ^.^ // i also do not own this picture or any pictures used in this)

***

 A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

⭬ After sex Jungkook is very attentive to your every need: he’ll get you water, snacks, whatever you want. He enjoys being able to relax with you after a rough couple of rounds, just talking about nothing. He loves nothing more than trailing his deft fingers over your slightly sweaty skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, only to be slowly kissed away by his soft, slightly swollen lips. Eventually, after kissing each any every bruise he had marked you with, making sure that you weren’t hurt, he’d engulf you in his arms, not caring about the outside world, then fall asleep.

 B = Body part (Their favourite body part of their partners)

⭬ This boy lives for your legs. When you’re around him, he’ll practically pant with lust if you’re wearing a skirt or dress. He loves running his hands up and down the expansive of your skin, loves the way he can force you to keep your thighs spread by grabbing fistfuls of your outer thighs when he’s going down on you. Whenever he could fuck you, his primal instinct was to throw your legs over his shoulders, pounding into you until you’re completely fucked out, stopping his grunts and groans by biting down on your fleshy calves, marking you in the process.

 C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

⭬ Do you know what’s his favourite part when he’s fucking you? Painting your body with stripes of his cum. He doesn’t care where: it could be your stomach as he finished himself over you, hands working furiously, it could even be on your bare tits and face, making you swallow every single drop when he was satisfied with how laden you were with his cum. But the best way to cum was inside you: he usually found his release after you convulsed around him too many times to count, so why would he willingly leave your wet, warm cunt? He loved finishing in you, squirting hot cum on your walls as you milked him for every drop. He especially loved when he came in you during a semi-public quickie, forcing you to put back your skirt on and holding his cum in you. More than once you had to leave a dinner party or outing because he just got too turned on by knowing that his essence was probably running down your thighs.

 D = Dirty secret (A dirty secret of theirs)

⭬ He’ll never admit this to you or anyone, but he often fantasized about watching you get fucked by someone else, having you watch as he got fucked by someone else, or just a threesome (or foursome). Obviously, it would be someone exceptionally close to him, like Taehyung or Jimin, but he just didn’t know how to approach the topic with any of you.

 E = Experience (How experienced are they?)

⭬ Seeing as he was a part of one of the biggest bands to have ever existed, who came from a pretty strict company, he had not been very experienced when you had first started dating. He wasn’t a virgin – not with the amount of men and women who continuously threw themselves at him – but from watching numerous tutorial porn videos, and with the help if his Hyungs giving him advice, he quickly learned how to make you see stars.

 F = Favourite position (pretty self-explanatory)

⭬ As boring as it may sound, Jungkook doesn’t necessarily have a single favourite position: as long as he can bury himself deep in you and watch you fall apart, that’s all he needs. One of his favourites is when he’s holding you against a wall (or door, or mirror) and you’ve got your legs wrapped around him. (I had gifs here, but it got flagged, yay.)

 G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

⭬ Everyone knows that he’s basically an overgrown child, so a couple giggles here and there are bound to happen. Jungkook could have you laughing from some stupid joke to cumming with tears streaming down your face is seconds.

Let’s be real, with someone as cute as this, you’re not going to be mad about being goofy during sex

 H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

⭬ The stylists never allow a single hair to be out of place on his beautiful head, so why would the rest of his body be any different? Despite people thinking that waxing is uncomfortable, or straight up painful, he’d much rather feel half an hour of discomfort to make being buried in you just that much better.

 I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

⭬ Despite him thinking that he’s terrible at intimacy, Jungkook can easily turn any situation into a romantic one. He enjoys being able to gaze into your eyes, something that used to make both of shy, and be the one who’s forcing those pretty sounds out of your parted lips. On the rare occasion that you have a bad day, he’ll run you a bath, light a couple candles and just slowly make love to you.

 J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

⭬  With his job requiring him to be so far away from home, and so obviously you as well, he’s kind of forced into the situation. Despite being as hard as a rock with his tip dribbling rivulets of precum, he just cannot find it in himself to get off without at least hearing your voice. On more occasions than you can count, you received a phone call from a breathless Jungkook, his low, sultry voice immediately letting you know what the situation was. You tried to not picture how good he looked when his cock stood to attention, tried not to picture how delectable he looked hovering over you as he repeatedly pounded into you, making you reach places that no one has ever taken you to before, but it was just so hard not to. After hearing his moans and soft curses, you couldn’t help but get turned on yourself, eventually joining him in touching yourself until you both reach your climaxes.

 K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

⭬ God, it would be easier to say what kink he doesn’t have. He enjoys breath play to a certain extent: he would much rather prefer to choke you with his dick rather than his hands though. Many people think that they’ve got a clear read on him: either pegging him as a submissive or a dominant, yet very few people see both sides to him. On the rare occasion, he’d let you have your way with him, allowing you to edge him as many times as he could physically handle, riding him hard, before abruptly pushing yourself off of him and deepthroating him, trying to swallow the torrents of cum pulsing through his red, almost painful looking cock.

 L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

⭬ After a long day of being at the studio or learning their newest choreography, he’d almost moan out aloud when he sees you in nothing but one of his oversized shirts and your tiny thong, cooking dinner for both of you. On many occasions you ended up ordering takeout because he’d bend you over the kitchen island, fucking into you so hard that you forget that there was food on the stove. A few more favourites are the lounge, as well as the shower: the many positions he could put you in seems to be endless in his mind. One place that he really wants to try to fuck you in is the practice room: the thought of rutting into you as he forces you to look at yourself cumming is enough to make him rock hard. It doesn’t help that at any moment, Taehyung or Jimin might walk in, feeding into his dirty little fantasy.

 M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

⭬ One pretty easy way to turn him on his by wearing lingerie: show him, or even hint at the idea, that the only thing covering your pretty pussy is a scrap of lace and he’ll all but rip it off of you. The number of panties that he’s ripped is probably a worrying amount. Another rather innocent way to rile him up is by slipping on some heels: the higher, the better. Of course he’s no misogynist, and he’ll never force you to wear anything, but the fact that your legs just look so amazing in them turns him on to a point where he won’t even be able to take off any of yours or his clothes before fucking you.

 N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

⭬ Jungkook will never judge anyone on their kinks – he gets turned on by thinking about having someone else fuck you, for God’s sake – but one thing he just cannot grasp is extreme age play. He’ll never want to do anything if it involves little space.

 O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

⭬ He would much rather go down on you than you go down on him. The thing is: your oral skills are just too good. When you suck him off, he is for sure going to cum before he can enter your tight, wet cunt, and why wouldn’t he want to bury himself in you? He’d much prefer eating your pussy, making you cum on his tongue, then fucking you into the mattress. Or kitchen island. Anywhere really.

 P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

⭬ There are days when you both have time and energy to take it slow: it’ll start off by a quick, innocent peck, which turns into a full-blown making out session, complete with you grinding and whimpering on his lap. He’ll strip both of you at his own leisurely pace, then slowly make love to you, running his fingers along your skin, making you moan into his ear… The only problem with this is that it’s not very often that you both have the time for this. On more days than not, you’re wrapped up in his fiery embrace, impaled on his cock while he rubs your clit in tight, fast circles. Days like this guarantees that you’re both completely spent after climaxing, barely finding the strength to move after such a rough and fast-paced session.

 Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

⭬ Listen. If you’re going to be dating Jungkook, you’re going to have to be okay with having quickies, all the time. He doesn’t differentiate between quickies and ‘proper sex’, and honestly, neither do you. Despite how movies paint sex to be slow and romantic, it often isn’t like that in real life; I mean, no one has the time for an hour of foreplay. But you need to relieve yourself, so when Jungkook comes to you with his eyes darkened and his pants tented, you all but jump at the opportunity.

 R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

⭬  As I’ve stated before, Jungkook really has a lot of kinks, so there’s very little that he wouldn’t want to at least try. If you want to try bondage, he’s game. If you want to try a sex swing, he wouldn’t even batt an eyelash. If you want to try pegging, he’d get you the, uh, equipment needed. Point is he’ll experiment with everything at least once.

 S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

⭬ So, you know how we’re always comparing him to a bunny? Let’s just say that the analogy is for more than just his looks. With all the cardio and exercise he does, it’s almost a given that he can last a long time. Paired with the horniness of a man his age, sex with him can go on for hours on end. Many a times you have ended up with numb legs and a sore pussy, the results of a horny Jungkook.

 T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

⭬  He loves toys. Yours and Jungkook’s sex life is anything but boring, and he vows it will never be. Between the two of you, you have an assortment of vibrators, cock rings, handcuffs (not the fuzzy kind – real handcuffs), a strap-on or two, and a lot of other things. The toys aren’t just meant for one of you: the vibrators can be used on your clit as well as on his cock or prostate, and the handcuffs are regularly used by him on you, but now and then you itch to restrain him and have your way with him. The only toy that Jungkook uses by himself is his fleshlight, which is exclusively used when he’s on tour.

 U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

⭬ The only way that he’ll ever tease you is by sexting. He’ll text you all the sinful things he wants to do with you: the positions he’s going to fuck you in, the way he’s going to paint your body with his cum… But all his teasing words just get you horny, and wet enough that you’re ready for him to slip into when he finally sees you again. Jungkook could tease you the entire day, enough to have you dripping and soaking your panties, but the moment he sees you, he won’t deprive you (or him) of the delicious feeling of one another.

 V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

⭬ With a voice like his, you’d practically beg him to be as loud as he can, but this flusters him for some reason. Although you continuously reassure him that it turns you on in unimaginable ways, he’d much rather hear your moans and pants. But sometimes he just can’t help himself: not with the way you’re clenching around him, gripping onto him so tightly that he can’t even think straight. (this is what I think he sounds like - USE HEADPHONES)

 W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

⭬ Let’s say that one day, Jungkook either gets the balls to ask you to allow other people in the bedroom, or he drunkenly tells you about his dirty little secret… It ends up with him handcuffed to the bed, his mouth stuffed with Taehyung’s dick and ass stuffed with Jimin’s cock, while you bounce on his dick, a cock ring preventing him from climaxing. Tears streaming down his face, either from choking on Tae’s cock or from the overstimulation and need to cum from your pussy clenching around his dick while Jimin continuously hits his prostate. Taehyung pulls out from his mouth, leaving him gasping for air, instead turning to you and cumming on your clit and Jungkook’s toned stomach, his eyes never leaving Jungkook’s. (God, I’m editing this and why did I do this to myself, now I can’t get this idea out my head, smh)

 X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

⭬ I have nothing to say, except 

s t r o n g  p o w e r, thank you.

 Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

⭬ He’s a man in his early twenties, I’m pretty sure he’s horny 24/7. He gets turned on way too easily; you could just stretch your back and he’s pinning you on the couch, already pulling down your panties and wrapping his lips around your clit. Every day, you wake up with his morning wood pressing into you, signalling just how needy this sweet bunny is.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

⭬  Jungkook typically falls asleep fast, even without expending all that energy to fuck you until you’re screaming, so don’t expect him to stay awake for more than about twenty minutes. After he makes sure that you’re well taken care of, he pulls you to his chest and almost immediately begins snoring.

[skateboarding-poet]

His pink ukulele

Summary: Sakuya plays the ukulele. He also appreciates what the ukulele brought into his life.

The rain was hitting the warm concrete and the garden in the courtyard with small drops of water. Above the dorm building, the sky was filled with gray clouds, hiding away the usual summer sun.

It wasn't the type of weather people usually liked to see while they were outside. Yet, Sakuya was outside, taking in the calming sign with a dreamy smile on his face.

His body was sheltered from the rain, but his mind was focused only on it. The sound of the rain droplets meeting the ground, the sight of the rain wetting the usually dry outside, the smell of the wet concrete, they all had the honor of having Sakuya's entire attention.

He had no idea how much he sat outside and stared at the scenery, but his mind finally walked away from the daze as if someone snapped their fingers next to his ear. Suddenly, he remembered why he went outside in the first place.

Sakuya carefully held the ukulele in his hands while he took out the cover, and the sound of the zipper of the cover touching the strings of the small instrument echoed melodically. He stared at the pink instrument in his hands, a small smile blossoming on his face as he remembered the day when he received it.

He could remember the awe he felt when he saw Itaru holding the ukulele, his hands seeming a little too big for the small instrument.

"Wow, Itaru-san, is that a-"

Sakuya didn't even get to finish his question, because Citron jumped right into the conversation that barely started. "It's an ukulele! It's really small, isn't it?"

Sakuya couldn't help but agree. He's always wanted owning one, playing one, but he would've been content just with seeing one.

"Is it yours?" Sakuya asked. Itaru had a cunning smile on his face, the kind of smile he had when he was planning something.

"Itaru's appearance doesn't work with his appearance," Masumi answered before Itaru could, and his words made his fellow troupe member waver just a little. "But the director... she'd look so cute, playing an ukulele..." "Itaru is more like a mysterious guitarist from a cool band!" Citron added, not allowing Masumi's train of thoughts to take over the conversation. "Hey, this is not why we're here..." Tsuzuru sighed, trying to get his troupemates to focus on... whatever they were doing.

"Why do you have it, then? The ukulele." Sakuya said, catching the attention of his troupe, much to Tsuzuru's relief. Itaru's smile was on his face again, and it made Sakuya confused.

"It's yours," Masumi finally said, as direct as ever.

Sakuya's eyes widened slowly, while they were looking only at the instrument he'd wished to hold for years. A few moments passed silently, the Spring Troupe allowing the leader to process the words.

Citron took the instrument from Itaru’s hands and slowly approached Sakuya, carefully holding the ukulele’s body. But, the closer he got, the more blurry he became.

And then, a sob escaped his lips, and another, and another.

One of them, probably Tsuzuru, put his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. Citron gave Sakuya the instrument, smiling kindly at him.

The body and the neck were warm, probably from how Itaru held it in his hands. The color was a pastel pink, his favorite color. He felt a small paper stuck at the back on the instrument and, when he turned it around, he found a small piece of paper with the signature of all of the Spring Troupe members, and a message saying “Thank you for being our great leader”. Sakuya ran his fingers over the paper, staring at it intensively. He felt his heart swell with emotion, bursting with warm feelings all over his body. The tears in his eyes were warm, and his face felt hot. Wiping a few tears away from his eyes and cheeks, he gave everyone a huge, grateful smile, followed by a watery "Thank you!".

Sakuya plucked every string, wincing at the flat sound each of them made. He has been particularly busy with the mixed performances MANKAI Company has been delivering lately, so his ukulele has been patiently waiting for him to remember that he had left it on his table. However, even if Sakuya didn't get to play it as often as it used to, the instrument still served as a daily reminder for the Spring Troupe leader to smile, and that people cared about him very deeply.

He started tuning the instrument by rotating the pegs one by one, humming contently when the sounds matched the ones he spend so much time learning with the help of his roommate.

“Okay, Sakuya,” his roommate said, bringing his laptop to the table in their room. The laptop had a MeTube tab open at a video titled “Ukulele playing for beginners”. He pointed at the seat right next to the laptop

“I want to learn how to play the ukulele! ” Citron declared. “So, we will learn together!” 

Sakuya was surprised by what his roommate just said, but it all made sense when he saw him grab a very old looking ukulele from somewhere inside his chest. Sakuya gasped quietly. “Where did you get the ukulele?”

“In my country, it is a requiem to know how to play the ukulele, since it is the national instruments played at birthdays!”

“I think you meant requirement...”

“Yes, that!”

“...Wait. If it’s a requirement to play the ukulele, then why do you not know how to-”

“Let’s take a seat and learn, Sakuya!“

“But-”

“I’m pressing play!”

The person in the video started describing each part of the ukulele, from the body, to the pegs. When they got to the tuning part, both of them tuned their instruments to the best of their abilities. Before they moved on to the strings, Citron paused the video.

“Your A string is a little sharp, Sakuya.”

Sakuya looked down on his instrument, and pulled the A string, but it didn’t sound off to him. “Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes. Try loosening the string with the peg.”

Sakuya did as he was told (well, he tried, but the first time he tightened the string instead and the sound was considerably sharper than before) and, with his second try, he won the aproval of his roommate, who pressed play once more.

Every few minutes, Citron stopped the video and helped Sakuya with small things he didn’t even know were being done wrong, as if they were usual, rookie mistakes that Citron was aware of and knew how to correct. The more they went on, the more convinced Sakuya was that his roommate knew how to play, after all. However, he didn’t say anything, since it felt like Citron knew Sakuya caught on his little lie.

By the end of the tutorial, Sakuya’s fingers were hurting, and the tips of his fingers had the shape of the strings imprinted on them, but he was more content than he thought he would be. The quality of the sound he was creating seemed to get better with every chord he played, and he even learned the very simple tune of “You Are My Sunshine”. But, the best part was the look of content and pride on Citron’s face.

“You learned so much today, Sakuya! Congratulation!”

“It’s all thanks to you, Citron-san!”

It’s been more than a year since then, and now Sakuya was more than able to tune the instrument by ear. He took a seat on the ground and hummed to himself. “Hmm, let’s see if I remember how it goes...”

He started playing “You Are My Sunshine” to the little audience that he had: the rain, the chairs, the cherry blossom tree in the courtyard, or whoever happened to pass by but didn’t dare to interrupt him. The melodic sounds of the ukulele, occasionally accompanied by his own humming, blended with the calm of the sight in front of him. He didn’t know how many times he repeated the tune, but the rain was restlessly applauding his little show, which made Sakuya smile.

His little concert wasn’t over, however, since he started playing other songs that he knew, like “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”, “Three Little Birds”, or random pop songs he heard of from Taichi and Kazunari.

Ah, yes, Sakuya thought, Taichi-kun always gives me nice song suggestions. He always seems so eager to listen to me play...

Sakuya’s face was getting warmer, and his cheeks were being decorated with a light shade of pink. Taichi reminded him of one and one song only...

A minor, D minor, G seventh, C major, F major, D minor, E seventh, A minor, A seventh...

Sakuya named all the chords he was playing in his head, the chords that, combined together, recreated the song “Fly Me To The Moon”. His occasional hums became almost words that were following the tune with the help of Sakuya’s gentle and warm voice. The feelings he was experiencing were making themselves known to the outside through the little moments when Sakuya’s voice shook slightly with emotion.

The first time Sakuya played this song in front of someone, it was when he played it in front of Tenma and Taichi, who have been pleading Sakuya to let them hear him play at least one song. Well, Taichi used to plead more, but Tenma’s blushing face whenever he was asked about it proved he was just as interested in hearing him play as much as Taichi.

Back then, his voice didn’t shake only because of his affection slipping through, but also because of his nervousness. It was the first time he played the ukulele to anyone outside on his troupe, and he wanted to impress the two boys that he loved, who were sitting right in front of him, listening to his performance attentively.

Taichi’s eyes were wide open and his mouth slightly agape, sucking in every movement, every sound, every nervous smile thrown his way that he always reciprocated a second too late. Tenma’s eyes were closed, his mind probably far away, somewhere at a place where only the three of them existed peacefully.

The song ended, and Sakuya took his hand away from the body, holding the ukulele with the other hand by the neck. After a few moments of silence passed, Taichi closed his mouth, a huge smile blossoming on his face, and he launched himself forward, hugging Sakuya tightly.

“Sakkun, that was amazing!” Taichi gushed, his grip on his boyfriend tight. Sakuya burst into laughter, all of his nervousness being melted away by Taichi’s touch.

“Thanks, Taichi-kun! I’m glad you enjoyed it!” he replied, and turned his head towards Tenma, who seemed like he just came back to reality from whatever dream world he went off to.

“It was beautiful” was all he got to say. Taichi stretched his hand out to Tenma and grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him into a group hug.

“If you guys get any more talented, my heart will burts!” Taichi joked, hugging his partners a little bit tighter.

“Prepare for your heart to burst, then, ‘cause we won’t stop anytime soon,” Tenma replied, making Sakuya laugh.

When Sakuya’s thoughts came back to the present, he finally noticed the two pair of eyes that were watching him with interest.

One of his favorite audiences, Tenma and Taichi, were watching him, patiently waiting to be noticed. Sakuya’s eyes met theirs, and they smiled at him.

“Felt like having a little concert all by yourself?” Tenma asked, and he stretched an arm towards Sakuya to help him get up. 

“Kind of,” Sakuya laughed nervously. He took Tenma’s hand, and his fellow troupe leader lifted him up with relative ease. “I noticed that it was raining, so I suddenly got the idea to play some songs here.”

“But, Sakkun, it stopped raining fifteen minutes ago,” Taichi observed.

“Wait, really?” Sakuya turned his head towards the courtyard, and Taichi was right: the earth was wet, the concrete was still a darker color due to the water, but the rain was no more. Not even the clouds were up in the sky, they were replaced by the orange evening sun.

“Bet you caused the rain to stop,” Taichi said, “your smile is always so sunshine-y that it brings the sun out even in the darkest days!” Taichi’s comment brought a small blush to Sakuya’s face.

“Now that the weather cleared up,” Tenma began, “it seems like it’s a perfect time to go out and do some street acts. What do you say?”

“Aw, nice thinking, Ten-chan! Of course I’d like to perform some street acts with you two!” Taichi replied. “Right, Sakkun?”

“You’re right,” Sakuya agreed. “I just need to leave this in my room, and I’ll come with you too. I’ll be back in a moment!” 

“Sure, we’ll wait at the entrance.” Tenma said.

Sakuya opened the door for his room and went inside, noticing Citron wasn’t there. He walked to the table in the middle of the room, where he carefully put the instrument cover. After carefully putting it over the instrument and closing the zipper, he headed to the door and, right as he was about to turn the doorknob, he glanced back at the pink ukulele, in its pink cover, sitting on the table. Even the sight of it made Sakuya think of all the good things it managed to bring into his life.

Maybe it wasn’t wrong to think that the ukulele was a representation of his dreams of being an actor. Back then, they were only things that Sakuya convinced himself it was okay to dream about. But now that they were in his life, they were one more reason to wake up with a smile on his face, one more reason to be happy every day, one more reason to be grateful of what he was given.

Sakuya gave it one more glance before he walked out of the room and closed the door.

[blueprint-han]

hi so i saw you comment on someone's post a way to get photoshop for free and i installed it and everything so i have now managed to download it for free! but whenever i try to make gifs it just doesn't really work? like after saving the gif, when i try to open them they're stuck on one frame and aren't moving. so idk maybe you'd know why or if i did something wrong?

Hello! There could be many different reasons as to why this is happening to you, so I'll just give you a brief run down of my gifmaking process, and show you where you could've made a mistake. It helps to show me your layer settings and export settings when you're asking me these questions, since it would be easier to detect where you went wrong. If you want a good giffing tutorial (the one I learned from), check this out!

under the cut!

disclaimer: i am in no way any sort of experienced gifmaker, and many of the methods i use might have an easier way to go through it, so if anyone wants to correct me on these methods, feel free to add the post!

so here's basically how i make my gifs:

↠ Okay, so first of, make sure that the clip you're using to make a gif in in .mov format. I use vaporsynth to sharpen and denoise my video clip and export it into .mov format, the process of how to do so you can see in that tutorial i've linked above.

↠ I’m unsure of what method you used to import your frames, so i’ll just tell you how I do mine:

1) go to file > import > video frames to layers 2) select the file you want to import (in .mov format ! .mp4 does not work for this.) 3) so basically use the sliding bars things to select the part of the clip you wanna gif (if there’s any extra bit that came by, if not just import from beginning to end.) check image:

↠ now that your frames are imported, it’s time for the actual coloring and exporting part, in which you might’ve made a mistake. So basically go to window > timeline, and make sure the timeline is visible. On the right side, you’ll see a layers panel, having each frame as a layer. make sure that the “make frame animation” is checked! Next, select all the frames from the timeline and all the layers from the layers panel:

↠ right click on that timecode > other... > and then set your delay to whatever you prefer. I usually set the delay to 0.05 since i prefer slow gifs, but if you prefer faster ones, you can use 0.03. check image (this is called a frame animation):

↠ now select that little symbol in the bottom that i’ve circled, and then right click on your layers (make sure that they are all selected !) and select “convert to smart object). This is a common area on mistake! People tend to convert into smart object first and then click the small button thingy (which is called changing to video timeline from frame animation), which could be one of the reasons for why your gif appeared as a still image. 

You may ask me, dawn why do we need to do this? Isn’t it easier to simply color using the frame animation timeline. Well, yes. Technically you don’t have to do this step, but i’ve found that i tend to make a lot of mistakes in frame animation, and it’s harder to overlap layers on each other in the frame animation, especially if you’re coloring and use multiple adjustment layers.

↠ So now your timeline will look like this. Now that the base gif has been adjusted. it’s time to add our other adjustments, aka coloring.

↠ Another mistake: check the layers panel and make SURE that your layer is a smart object and NOT a rasterized layer. A smart object looks like the above image, while a rasterized layer looks like this:

Rasterizing will change the gif into a still image, which might lead to your mentioned “gif appearing as a still image”.

↠ Now that that’s done, simply add all your adjustment layers (aka coloring). It should look like this.

↠ It’s time to save the gif. so now go to file > export > save for web (legacy).  so now you’ll find a popup window like this:

take a good look at the settings i’ve used. Another reason your gif may not be playing is because you didn’t switch the mode to gif or you used a different export method. You can choose between selective and adaptive diffusion, both of them have different looks to it, but personally, i prefer adaptive diffusion. Then what else, click save, and select a folder to save it to.

but wait! The gif looks like this:

see that white delay at the end? (I’m only explaining this since i told you to convert your frames into a video timeline, so this part is an important one.) I don’t want that. The reason why it’s going white at the end is because of:

this. see how the gif layer only occupies a small area between those two placeholders and the adjustment layers occupy a bigger area? That’s the reason of the delay, which is why i will adjust it to:

this, in simple words, make sure that the two placeholders are perfectly touching the ends of the base gif, so that it doesn’t show that white bit at the end. So now our gif looks like this:

see? Now there’s no white bit in the end, since our gif duration is exactly same as our base gif duration. You can also see how much of a different coloring makes! 

There you go! I’ve basically run you down on how to use photoshop, since you said you just installed it and are probably a beginner. Photoshop does take some time to master, but keep trying ! Next time if you do wanna ask anything though, please do attach a screenshot of how your canvas looks, since that way it’s easier for me to understand what kind of problem you’re facing. 

There’s a lot of complicated wording in this, so if you don’t understand it, feel free to a) ask me or b) check that tutorial i linked in the introductory paragraph! It goes into a lot more detail and explains very well along with use of vaporsynth if you’re interested in that, so give it a go and tell me how it goes !