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#It feels like its been forever since the 4 of them have been in the same game!
beth-and-bands · 7 months
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She's finally here🥹
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anyway!!! everything sucks forever I am going to start making my pd character playlists
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hecksupremechips · 1 year
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Girl help I keep thinking about freaking persona 4
#i have banned myself from engaging with any persona 4 related content (except for memes my sister sends me)#because yeah its genuinely deeply upsetting for me and i always feel like absolute shit#but aghhh for some reason my brain has been fixated on it this week thinking about all the offensive garbage it is#and i keep thinking of all the evidence i can gather definitively proving that the writing is sooooo homophobic/transphobic#which is a very easy thing to gather up and prove since its all over the damn place lol#but like im just so fixated on how awful the game is and how the fans are even worse and i have this urge to argue forever#something im sure a lot of yall can relate to#cuz god it hurts to be screaming at people that theyre hurting you and for them to just say no to you as if its up for debate#if this sounds dramatic cuz its Juat A Game liiiike no its not Just A Game this is about#my daily life requires me to argue my existence constantly and its the same for every other damn marginalized person out there#and idk if youre still gonna either ignore or deny that persona 4 isnt batshit insanely offensive then youre stupid#i dont have the patience to argue shit like this anymore because theres no way someone with a brain can deny shit like that#and quite frankly even well intentioned queer fans who try to make headcanons that either say fuck you to the game#or hcs that do nothing at all to challenge the bigotry in p4 are kinda annoying to me#cuz it hurts too much to play along like yeah id LOVE to just slap a rainbow on kanji and a trans guy badge on naoto#and call it a day and enjoy the game outside of it all but thats kinda impossible#when these two characters entire existence revolves around the bigotry and its done in a way that hurts like hell to see#its too real for me to enjoy even if i make positive ‘fuck you atlus’ fan art#yeah ughhhh whatever its just annoying cuz I’ve been doing a good job at blocking this game away from my life#cuz it brought nothing but anger to me but its just been something thats been stuck on me lately#and im really not sure what triggered this or why its been lingering so long like please stoppp#its really embarrassing to be having bad mental illness over a shitty bibleo game 🙄
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kellystar321 · 2 years
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#periodical life updates#finished all my criminology homework! now i got sunday off to chill and maybe draw and also me and my sibs might go to chinatown? but idk#because dad's bbq-ing which might change some plans. anyway! eating dinner now :> its not my favorite but it is okay <3#high priority art to-dos: commission | daily eca (for tomorrow and the project) | art for *** and ******* | annual birthday redraw#general arts: mrd thing for monday | solepsi art | things for the ace iterations | the cases ref#self indulgence: drawtectives (i wanna draw more eugenes) | agent | fun ace things#my queue is winding down so that might go quiet in a bit <3 there's about a dozen things left <3 we'll see i suppose <3#project sekai updates: cannot believe i have to wait 6 more events until the next wxs event i just want a cool emu :'0#my strongest team is all four stars except for a three star emu; i just want a 4 star for her <3 also!! nicori smile survey for that event!#and also its probably the one where tsukasa makes a child cry by yelling about how hes gonna be a cool star hgkjh#but theres been so many events that just! arent wxs! it's been 13 events since the last one to the next one we get u-u <33 i miss them;;;#but we get some mmj ones so at least theres that <3 mmj's my assigned group and wxs's my favorite group so i have an attachment to both <3#but yeah im gonna save up gems for a cool emu card <3 theres the valentines day one too? AND ALSO. TSUKASA AS A KNIGHT?#FOR THE WHITE DAY EVENT!! HE LOOKS AESTHETIC AS HEL I LOVE KNIGHTS!!! <3 so maybe i'll try for those!!#im also writing a drawtectives fic and recently i drew some aces from one of the old aus <3 i miss him i love my little guy <33#im downloading all my old twitter archives. i have a lot of memories there i need to keep or else i'll be so sad <3 trying my best <33#i have school on monday as usual <3 can you believe my birthdays coming up this month? it feels like ive been 21 forever hgjkh <3#i think thats all the updates for now; im sleepy <33 goodnight. thank you for reading; ily <33
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aroaceofthesea · 8 months
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I was in a 18 bday party today and we didnt have a gift for the bday girl💀💀
#luckily we made a pretty good last minute save#im usually the kind of person to sit back and say yes to whatever ppl are saying to get for the persons bday#the problem is that this time there wasnt one big present and every group did their thing#and the four of our group were the same as me so we literally didnt even think of a gift until we were there💀💀#luckily we know her rlly well (weve been friends since like 3) so we decided to get her a vale for puenting#<-sorry if the last sentence is illegible to you im too lazy to think how to say it in english#and we looked pretty cool and she was rlly happy with the gift so i take that as a win#it was a 25 ppl dinner and we only talked the 4 of us lolll (and with the bday girl obv)#but i had fuun i got to see sides of a couple of them that i had never rlly seen before#bc like the bday girl me and another weve known each other since forever we were bffs at school etc#the other two are from music and i n music theres a group that are kinda intimidating so most ppl outside that group arent rlly completely#themselves at music tho you get to see them after music when we stay talking or on the walk home etc#but theres not as much time so it was nice to get to know better the other two😋😋#also im rlly happy bc the bday girl and the other one aftr years of barely talking even tho we saw each other every week it feels like#weve been reconnecting lately (we stopped being good friends bc life not any argument or anything) and i love it#like i know it will never be like it used to be in school when we were super close but its nice to have them as friends again#looking back on it our relationship was never very healthy (in any direction tbh) but it was nice while it lasted#i wouldnt want to go back to what we had but i would like to build a new and healthier relationship with them and its finally happening :)#ok that was a long rant lol#mine#life
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csainzoperator · 10 months
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mwah mwah ☆
summary: the one where y/n and lando are the bestest of friends who are so blind bcs what the hell?? both of them are clearly madly in love with each other but cannot see it. a thread of how their relationship developed.
(lando norris × fem!reader)
read more under the cut!
an: its a little short but i hope you guys enjoy 🫶🏼
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y/nusername has posted!
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well done today! super proud, chicos 🫶🏼
tagged: landonorris, oscarpiastri
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, mclaren and 28,123 others.
landonorris my lady luck 🧸
liked by y/nusername
- daniel3.jpg so this is how you're making a "move" ?
- oscarpiastri you do realise y/n can read these right??
caarlaando LMAO HELP THE DRIVERS ATTACKING EACH OTHER
estiebestiee MOTHER IS MOTHERING
mclaren always love having you in the garage! looking good with our papaya boys 🧡
- landonorris bro are you trynna flirt??
- carlossainz55 bro lando will find out where you live 💀
- lechaaaair LMAOAOAOAOA
f1wags love love love!!
landonorris has posted!
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fun weekend!!
p. s i think y/n likes lewis more than all of us combined 🙄
tagged: daniel3.jpg, y/nusername
liked by daniel3.jpg, mclaren, y/nusername, oscarpiastri and 298,183,33 others.
y/nusername i think i surely like you a little more
- landonorris oh yeah?
- carlaaando "oh yeah?" DEAD. DECEASED. DECOMPOSED. IM. NOT. OKAY. AAAAAAAAA THEY'RE SO CUTE.
lewishamilton y/nusername you should drop by the garage! i could give you some signed merch if you'd like that :)
- y/nusername CHAT IS THIS REAL?!?!??+×*<÷[₹<₹
- y/nusername YES PLS I LOVE YOU SM
- lh44team LMAO SHE JUS LIKE US
- landonorris 😧😐🤨
daniel3.jpg LMAO LANDO NORIZZ FR
- carlossainz55 FR
- maxverstappen1 FR
- oscarpiastri FR
- landonorris i hate you all.
f1wags this is such a cute post 🎀
mclaren fratenizing with the enemy? i thought you loved us ☹️
- y/nusername I STILL LOVE YOU, my no 1 🧡🧡
landonorris has posted!
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i rizzed her up and now she won't stop kissing me. says she's been missing out since 4 years. forever to go with my baby 🧸
tagged: y/nusername
liked by y/nusername, mclaren, oscarpiastri and 283,234,23 others.
y/nusername MWAH MWAH
y/nusername i cannot believe youre my bf 😧
- landonorris i love you gf 🫶🏼
- y/nusername i love you more bf 💋
- f1wags STOP. THEY. ARE. SOOO CUTE
daniel3.jpg FINALLY
- maxverstappen1 FINALLY
- georgerussell63 FINALLY
- oscarpiastri FINALLY
- carlossainz55 FINALLY
- charles_leclerc FINALLY
- daniel3.jpg guys wtf its like y'all are chanting this shit like a cult. i feel like a dad of 5
lechaaair MAMA Y PAPA
y/nfannn NOOO MY GF IS TAKEN?? 😞😞
mclaren our favourite couple 🧡
the end ♡
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shadowbriar · 1 month
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Five Hargreeves - Back To You
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Pairing : Five Hargreeves x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 2.8k Warning : Angst. Season 4 references. Synopsis : After one too many subway trips, Five's plan of temporal refuge extended as he met someone he refuse to lose. Notes : I refuse to acknowledge what happened in Episode 5 and 6 though I use the gif of said episodes. Don't come at me if you don't agree. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕
Living in a small cottage by the lake has never been in his cards. To settle down and watch the sun sets everyday, hearing the rocking chair creak as he takes a sip of his coffee. This was beyond anything he could ever hoped for, anything he could afford. He knew that this wasn’t the life he’s supposed to lead. Lord, this wasn’t even a life he owns to begin with. But with each second passed in this universe, Five finds it hard to drag himself back to that subway and return to his own timeline.
“Enjoying the scenery, are we?” She whispers as she sits on his lap, clinging her arms around his neck “You know, I could really use the help stuffing that chicken. It is afterall your special request.”
The boy raised an eyebrow, “Shouldn’t I be off of any chores since it is my special request?”
“Just because it’s your birthday, doesn’t mean you’re having a vacation, big guy,” She reasoned “We’ve only got two hands and this house is only getting bigger than smaller.”
The boy couldn’t bite his grin when he leaned in to kiss her. His heart swells. She was right. The house feels like it’s growing along with them. They might not have much, certainly far from the wealth his father possesses, but it was much more than enough. Having her was much more than enough.
“You know that I love you, right?” Five asks as he pulls away, his left hand still cupping her cheek as his thumb caresses her gently.
“I know,” She nods, smiling “But you can’t sweet talk your way out of kitchen duty, Mister.”
Five chuckles, standing from his seat as he carried her in his arms, “Alright, Missy, let’s see what this chicken fuss is all about.”
—-
The muscles on his cheeks were aching but he couldn’t fight the need to grin as wide as he could. He was happy, watching her carry that awful looking cake out of the oven. The icing that supposedly spelled ‘happy birthday’ was crooked, its colour pale compared to the bright fondant covering it. Thank God the candles were their only source of light, otherwise she wouldn’t even bring it out, he reckons.
“It’s ugly, I know,” She says as she lets it rest on the table “But it tastes better than it looks, I promise.”
Five shakes his head, disagreeing with her discouraging comments as he steals a kiss, “It’s perfect.”
“Well, go on and make a wish!”
The boy closes his eyes. His hands holding hers as he whispers his wish: I wish for this to last forever. Her squeals of excitement was music to his ears as he blew the candles. It is indeed the best birthday of his life.
“I’d ask but I know you wouldn’t tell me your wish.”
“Who said I made any wish?”
“You did,” She says as she helps him cut the cake “You make that little frown everytime you say your little prayer, do you know that?”
“I don’t pray, Love.”
“You do. Well, not religiously, but sometimes you do. You say your little prayer, your hopes. You whisper them sometimes, but most times you just close your eyes and do that little frown thing.”
Five raised an eyebrow, “Have you been watching me?”
“I might,” She teases “I mean who wouldn’t watch such a handsome man like you?”
The night continues as the couple finishes their dinner. Fulfilled would be such an understatement for what he feels right now. Everything he ever wanted, everything he ever dreamed of, is served right in that room. He wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.
“So can I take a guess about what you wished for?”
“Really, Love?” He asked, putting down his glass of wine.
She shrugs, “We’ve talked about everything else, haven’t we?”
“You know, there’s a belief that if you say your prayers, it won’t happen.”
“Well, you’re not saying what it was, I’m just taking a guess what it’s about.” She argues, still persistent “And what’s so bad with it not happening? Do you really want it that bad?”
“I— Nothing, I just don’t—”
“What is it that you could wish for? What is it that you don’t have?”
“Nothing, I’m not saying that I want anything, I just—”
“Is it your family?”
Five pauses. It was as if he was stupefied. He hadn’t thought about his family in a while. Shameful of him, sure, but after one too many subway trips, he figured that a little rest shouldn’t be so bad. He just had to find a timeline where there weren't that many people shooting at him. Perhaps take a week or two to rest and gather his strength before jumping into another subway.
It just had to be her. The girl he bumped into right after he got out of the station. He remembers vividly the concerned look on her face when she saw him. He was littered with bruises, dirt and dust covering his body. He looked more like trouble than a lover yet she still found it in her heart to ask if he needed any help.
And here he was, feeling the happiness in his heart wither as the thought of his family returned to his consciousness. He knew that the universe is cruel, that he couldn’t have the best of both worlds in this lifetime, that he had to choose between his lover or his family. Some nights he wonders if his family had succeeded in preventing another apocalypse without him. Some nights he wonders if his family had found a way to another timeline. Some nights he wonders if his family were still alive. But most nights he tried his best to ignore these wonders. His family must have found a way to stop the apocalypse, or at least escape another one.
Taking a deep breath, Five reaches for her hands. Guilt and regret were evident on her face. He knew that she didn’t mean to sound as cruel. Perhaps it was the wine that made their blood more sensitive or that the fatigue of the day had clouded their minds. Either way he knew that they both would be sorry when the morning came.
“I love you,” He starts gently “I love you more than anything in this and every timeline.”
A tear left her eye. It was painful. To love someone you know doesn’t belong to you. To desperately grasp into the moments you knew would end anytime soon. To selfishly stay in a relationship that was doom from the start. Neither of them deserved this, yet neither of them wanted to let go.
“It’s been six years, Five,” She reasoned “As much as I love you.. We can’t keep living like this.”
“Time works differently there, my love. Six years here might only mean a couple hours there.”
“That doesn’t make it any less wrong for you to stay. Those couple hours might be the most crucial hours for your family. They might be fighting for their lives right now, they might be dying, for all we know! You need to come back to them, Five. You have to.”
Five forces a laugh, “Wait, what are you saying?”
She remained silent. Her tears were falling, biting her lips to conceal her tremble. A bitter feeling is brewing in his stomach now.
“Your family needs you and—”
“Okay, stop,” He stood from his seat with an offended look “Are you breaking up with me? On my birthday?”
She looks away, unable to meet his eyes.
“Goodness, you can’t be serious.”
“What choice do we have, Five? One way or another, you’d have to go back to your family. They need you—”
“And you? You don’t need me anymore?”
Her jaw clenches, “That’s beside the point.”
“No, that is the whole point, actually,” He argues, this time coming close to her “I love you, alright? Why is it so wrong for me to want to be with the person that I love? I’ve lived more than a lifetime alone, why can’t I have someone for once?”
“You don’t belong in this timeline. I—”
“I belong with you,” He cuts in “It’s not the timeline that matters, it’s where you are. I belong with you.”
If there’s anything she loves most about Five other than his gentle and caring nature towards her, it would be how adamant he is once he’s set his mind into something. There’s no doubt in her heart about the genuinity of his words. But as much as she’s grateful and touched over it, she knew that they could only spend so long before the guilt eats them whole.
She lets go of his hands softly, placing them on his cheeks instead. She admires him. The beautiful man that’s now standing in front of her with his heart on his sleeves, announcing his devotion to her on the day when he’s supposed to be the one showered with attention and love. His eyes were glossy, clearly conflicted.
“I love you, Five,” She whispers, gently caressing his skin as if it was their last goodbye “But I can’t keep you here, I can’t. I can’t keep you from your family.”
Five looks defeated, silent.
“Don’t you want to know what happened to them? If they’re okay? If they’ve figured out how to stop the apocalypse? Don’t you want to know?”
“I— I don’t know.” He answers “What I know is that I want to be with you.”
“I’ll always be with you, Love,” She reassures, kissing his cheek “I might not understand how this whole different timelines work, but I know that whichever timeline it is, whatever universe we live in, I will always belong to you. I will always be with you.”
And he finally cries. His tears flowing and wetting her palms. His heart shatters, finally succumbing to the guilt he’s tried so hard to bury and forget. He misses his family, he wanted so badly to get back and pick up where he left off, but would it be worth it? Would leaving everything here be worth it? Would leaving her be worth it?
“We’ll find our way,” She reassures, pulling the broken man into her embrace “You’ll find me in your timeline. Maybe we’ll meet at the grocery store, or at a bar, or perhaps at another train station.”
Five chuckles a little, letting a shaky breath as he asks, “And if we don’t?”
“We will,” She says firmly, giving a little space between them so they could gaze into each other’s face “I’m too much of a troublemaker and you’re too much of a problem solver for us to not meet. It’ll be too hard to ignore each other with our nature, Love. We’re bound to meet each other, in any timeline, in any universe. Trust me.”
The boy forces a smile. He leans in, kissing his lover gently as if she’d burst into petals if he pushed too much. Her hold around his neck feels different. Like she wasn’t looking for support but giving one instead. He could feel her trembling a little as his hands pulled her closer by the waist. Her heart is breaking too, as much as his is, but they knew that it’s inevitable. It’s only a matter of time before time pulls them apart and it certainly would be much more painful then.
“I’ll find you,” He whispers “I promise.”
—-
Canada is certainly much colder than home. Five rubs his hands and blows some air to his palms in hope to gain some warmth, but it’s obvious that the only comfort he’ll find in this weather is to get in Viktor’s bar and ask for some drink. That is, if Diego could start the car and get them going.
“It says here that Viktor’s bar is only five minutes by foot,” Klaus says “Who wants to run to the bar with me?”
“No one is getting out of this car!” Diego says in frustration, irritatedly trying his best to start the engine “We’re going to get to his bar together, in this car. That’s the whole point of a family road trip. We go to the bar by car, not by foot!”
“Yes, but it’s freezing here, Diego! The heater is not even on!” Alison argues.
“Well, it won’t be unless the engine is on.”
“No shit, Luther,” Ben says “I vote to run.”
Lila raises her hand, “Second to run.”
“No! No one is getting out of this car!” Diego yells once more, hitting the steering wheel frustratedly “I just need to—”
And by God’s miracle, the engine turns back on. Though their trip would soon reach its main destination, the bicker done by the family persists. The coldness of Canadian weather and how the heater broke almost twenty kilometres ago has made the seven heads’ temper raise. They really need to get to Viktor’s bar before they start to kill each other.
“I’m out of here,” Five announce as the car gets into the parking space of the bar. He space jumped inside, finding himself on one of the empty stools “Good to see you, Viktor.”
“Five,” VIktor greets, a little startled but his smile grows “You’re here. Where are the others?”
“Still figuring their way out to get here. Can I get whiskey on rocks?”
“On it.”
Five taps on the wooden table as he waits for his drink. His heart was content, as much as it might mean now. Their plan to stop the apocalypse worked. Viktor managed to take the marigold off of Ben before the Cleanse happened and now they’re trying to get back or rebuild their life. For once they finally managed to stop the apocalypse from happening.
Right after they succeeded in preventing the cleanse, Five found himself running to the subway station. He could still feel his feet burning from how fast he tried to get back to the station, wanting to jump in the train and go back to her timeline, but once he got there, the station vanished. There was no trace of it, no matter how many times he tried to run around and look for it. The subway is gone. She is gone.
Perhaps it was the price he has to pay for saving the universe. One’s happiness in exchange for the lives of millions doesn’t seem to be a hard sacrifice to make, but it’s still a tough pill for him to swallow. He knew that she would be proud. That she would hug and kiss him for doing all the hard work in saving the world. But the more he thinks about it, the more it stings for such touch would only be as good as a dream now.
“You ordered whiskey on rocks?” A voice asked, breaking his train of thoughts.
Five’s mouth went agape. He couldn’t tell if he was daydreaming or if this was some sick new power he gained from the marigold, but she was there. Standing right in front of him with a glass of whiskey in her hand.
“Viktor said his brother ordered whiskey on rocks, I assume that’s you?”
“I— Uh, yes,” He stammers, getting off the stool “You’re here.”
Five couldn’t believe his eyes. In his heart he knew that they would meet again, that somehow the universe would let him keep both her and his family, but he never expected that it was true. He never expected that he would meet her again. Not this fast, not this way.
“Sorry?” She asks, raising an eyebrow “Are you okay?”
“Y-Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” Five said, shaking his head and taking the glass “Thank you.”
The girl smiles. It was a different smile than what he’s used to seeing. There wasn’t much love in her eyes, but he wasn’t in the position to complain. The girl he’s staring at and his lover might be the same person but she’s yet to know him here. She’s yet to know that he’s hers. She’s yet to know that he loves her. She’s yet to know that he belongs to her.
“Sorry, but have we met before?” She asks, still staring back at him “You look very familiar.”
“Uh, no, I don’t think so,” He lied, offering his hand “I’m Five. Five Hargreeves. Viktor’s brother.”
She took his hand, telling him her name, “I didn’t know Viktor had a baby brother.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not really his baby brother. It’s— It’s complicated.” Five could feel his cheeks burning like a little boy, bashful “It’s a long story.”
“You mind telling me about it?” She asks, leaning on the table “I’ve got time. I love hearing stories.”
“I know you do,” He says with a big smile “Well, where do I start..”
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leonw4nter · 7 months
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Through Thick and Thin, Always and Forever
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Husband!Damnation!Leon x F!Reader
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No one is spared from that stupid blond baby and his arrows, not even two seasoned agents who are were certain that their hearts would never learn to feel something other than guilt, fear, and hopelessness.
After 5 years of dating and now 17 years married, your marriage with him has faced its ups and downs but you two always managed to make amends and continue on smoothly. Lately, it’s been more of a down: minimal talking, less intimacy, and Leon in worse moods. After a particularly big fight regarding his alcohol consumption and the distance he’s been keeping from you, you two refused to talk to each other. The most you two did in interaction with each other is telling each other “good night” before turning to the other side of the bed, backs turned and “good morning” without meeting gazes. Although things between you too are a little cold and tense, you two still held respect for each other and didn’t do anything that meant to harm the other.
You got up earlier than Leon, your husband still sleeping soundly from his side of the bed; eyes still shut, strands of dark hair that fell over his forehead with his arms crossed and small snores leaving slightly chapped lips. You drank in the vulnerable sight of him, sighing and wistfully hoping that things would go back to normal between you two again. After fixing your side of the bed, you head over to the kitchen to start on breakfast. Taking out the left-overs from last night’s takeout from the fridge, you take a pan and add a small amount of oil before putting it on the stove. You decided to opt for reheating using a pan and stove instead of the readily available microwave since you were feeling a little more diligent than usual. While cooking, you realize that the non-stick coating of the pan you’re using is peeling away. There’s some bits of food sticking to the part of the pan that is bare, those bits burning up. The handle is also a lot more loose, the pan being older than 4 years. I’m going to have to look for a new pan I guess, you think to yourself. After a few more minutes of reheating, you plate the food and place them on the dining table.
“G’morning.”
“God you scared me.” You reply with a small jolt of electricity flowing through your body. You place the plates down, Leon getting up to help you with the others. Instantly, your day gets better now that Leon is doing things like these but you don’t push your luck, knowing that Leon is still a helpful guy no matter what and this could be him being friendly but still upset at you.
He waits for you to take a seat before he takes his, scooping some food onto his plate before he takes a bite. You two have breakfast in silence, him reading some article on his phone while you go looking through Amazon for new non-stick pans. Unfortunately for you, you don’t find any pan that looks good so you put your phone down with a small sigh. Breakfast ends silently with Leon doing the dishes and you sweeping around the house. This time, Leon is speaking up more but he’s still closed off but you’re happy that he’s begun to be a lot warmer to you. You thought about going out to buy the pan but your laziness said no, causing you to opt to stay inside and be curled up with a good book.
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I should’ve bought that damn pan yesterday.
Unfortunately for you, your period started today which meant cramps that you swore was just your uterus doing crazy acrobatics. Of course you were extra cranky, all your emotions upped a notch by a hundred but a tiny part of you was thankful for this because Leon began to warm up more. Just this morning, he offered to change the sheets and wash the old one when you bled into it; it’s as if you two had never fought days prior but you aren’t complaining. Now, you are curled up and buried beneath the sheets while clutching at your lower abdomen while waiting for Leon to come back home. You had sent him on an errand to go get you cheese fries and boba tea which should only take him 15 minutes max but he took a little longer than that. You poke your arm out of the sheets, feeling around for your phone before you finally feel it and drag your arm back inside the sheets. You look for Leon’s number, phoning him to hurry up and get home because you needed his company more than anything.
“Leooonn…” You weakly groan.
“Hm? Yes, sweetheart?” He asks on the other end of the line.
“Got me my food?” You quietly ask.
“Yeah. I’m on my way home, just stuck in traffic. I promise I’ll get there soon baby, hang on,” He responds.
“Okay… I’ll hang up now, the screen is giving me a migraine.”
You press the ‘end call’ button, groaning even louder now that you feel a migraine incoming. Can this day get worse?
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Leon finally arrives home with the fries and boba tea but he makes you drink water and take Advil before you have your snacks, hoping to alleviate the migraine you have going on. He also got a heating pad to help with cramps and offered to give you leg massages since your cramps caused spasms in your thighs as well. After giving you messages and looking after you, he slipped out of the bedroom to go show you something. He comes back with a pan, a non-stick one too.
“Baby is that…” You softly whisper, vision getting blurry with the tears in your eyes.
“Yeah. I saw you going through pans on Amazon so I thought I’d pick one up for you instead,” He explains. He goes on to explain his shopping process, going through the nitty gritty of the features of the cookware.
“The salesman told me that it’s made of stone too so it doesn’t retain strong odors like fish and is oven-safe. You’ll have crispy edges and browned crusts too– honey, are you crying?”
You take a big gulp of the boba before setting it down, wiping your tears with the sleeve of your sweater. Hormones were everywhere, your emotions are a mess, you’re going to be bleeding for the next 5 days and here is your husband: an absolute sweetheart, the only man there is for you. You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him tight while trying to keep the tears down.
“Thanks, honey. I appreciate it. A lot. Tons, even.” You softly mumble. He brings a hand to the small of your back, giving you small pats as well. You feel a content rumble from his chest, smiling because you know that your fight is now a thing of the past.
“Anything for my girl,” he responds. “Name it and I’ll get it for you.”
“What if I want cuddles right now?” “Your wish is my command,” he agrees. With a pleased smile, he wraps you in a fuzzy blanket before laying at your side and hugging you like you’re a teddy bear. Well, he’s your teddy bear but today you don’t mind having the roles reversed.
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NOTE - Today's fic is a little short because I am (1) tired and (2) not having a nice time rn!!! Yeyy!!! It's Valentine's Day today (as of writing) and not to sound like a salty person but everyone getting gifts from either their partner or friends made me feel a lot more alone 😭😭 Like a relationship is not what I'm looking for right now but it won't hurt to yk- receive something, even if it's just chocolate or candy. Anyways, I hope your Valentine's Day went great and if you confessed then I hope your feelings were reciprocated and if not then it's not the end of the world yk, you'll find the right one in the right time <3 Tysmm for reading my fics and I <3333 UUUUUUU (also this fic is inspired by that one reddit story)
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praisetheaxolotl · 2 months
Text
The Arsonist Theory, Part 4: Blame The Arson, Not The Fire
Part 1: Mandibles!
Part 2: We Get It, The Billboard Was A Metaphor
Part 3: Journey To The Vicious Spiral Nebula
Welcome to the end.
Before we start, I just want to shine a light on some interpretations of the billboard in relation to part 2 of the theory right here, and an observation about "Trust no one" that relates to the theory right here.
Once again, for those new to the theory: it proposes that Bill wasn't alone in destroying his dimension-- he had a partner, one that used him like he used Ford. The previous three posts are crucial to understanding where I'm coming from with this.
This post will mostly be some miscellaneous things that I think could support the overall theory, honestly. So I'm just gonna get started with it. And, as always:
MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK OF BILL, INCLUDING CIPHERS
Let's finish this.
So, something that was in the original Arsonist Theory from years ago was that Bill, oddly enough, seemed afraid of his own fire powers. He never uses them in combat, even though it would be a major advantage to him to do so. In fact, he really only seems to use fire as little more than cosmetic flair, lighting his hand on fire to make deals and other situations like that. There are really only three times he uses his fire to directly effect the environment--
Ford's dream sequence, destroying the journals, and burning up the Cipher wheel in the finale.
It's a bit strange, though. All three of those times, he didn't use his signature blue flames. He used orange flames instead.
Another thing is, remember when he died? The second the room lit on fire, he panicked. He's a dream demon, he should have been able to get the hell out of there the second he realized something was wrong! He's not powerless in this situation, so why is he acting like he is? Unless, for some reason, something about the environment reminded him of a certain... other time he was surrounded by fire? A time where, unlike now, he was powerless? Curious!
That on its own doesn't support the theory directly, however it points to lingering trauma from the destruction of Euclidia regardless.
Now... I saw a theory that made an argument that the repeated motifs of "mandibles" points to the idea that Bill might have eaten his own family.
And honestly, I agree. But...
As another layer to it, we only know that Bill had a mutation that let him see the third dimension, along with most likely fire powers since birth. So where did this sudden interest in devouring people come from?
Maybe whoever was with him was the one that taught him it. The one that told him that consuming souls meant that you would never be alone, as they would always be inside of you forever. Because, to me, it seems like an odd leap from "wants to show everyone the third dimension" to "eating people as everything burns around him." So maybe, he was influenced by something? Someone?
And another thing: When Bill is dying, in the Book Of Bill, we see two ciphers on the page.
One of them is "AXOLOTL" over and over, as to be expected.
The other? "Just fit in."
That absolutely sounds like something Euclidia would have pushed upon him! Ergo, he was remembering Euclidia in that moment, ergo the fire did definitively remind him of Euclidia, ergo he seems to get flashbacks when he sees his own fire.
This next part is pure extrapolation, so bear with me here.
Bill, on one page, mentions a highlight of his glory days as being "disassociating, and waking up to find [he'd] conquered another dynasty." Score!
Except... disassociating? Think about it.
Bill had just made a mention to disassociation, implying that he knows that he does it and knows what it feels like for him when it happens.
But when he was talking about Euclidia... he says there's a "loud buzzing in [his] ears and [he] blacks out for 30 seconds."
If this was how his disassociation usually presented itself... wouldn't he just say so?
This doesn't sound like his usual denial, either. When Bill denies something, he remains perfectly cognizant of the events that occurred, merely twisting around some details and/or justifying it to himself.
...Remember back in part one, I said I'd discuss what Bill said about his weaknesses? About how he's been touchy about them ever since... something? And how the obvious interpretation is-- especially considering that he Gatsby's us after the memory gun is mentioned-- that he's touchy ever since the Pines defeated him?
Another thing this book teaches us is that multiple versions of the same object can exist. Mainly, there have been many different iterations of the portal over the centuries.
Perhaps... multiples of some other object can exist, and have existed, and have been used against Bill?
A loud buzzing in your ears. Do you know what makes a loud buzzing noise when it's used?
"No!" You're probably thinking.
"Yes," I say.
Okay, "Probably likely" I say, but that's not as good for dramatic flair.
Sure, the buzzing isn't that loud, but once it's up to your ear... it'd be plenty loud.
One of the ciphers regarding Bill says "EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES." Meaning, there's a secret, deeper layer to even his lies. Maybe it's that, at least here, this isn't necessarily a lie, moreso that he's operating under missing information.
And furthermore- Bill remembers some parts of what happened, judging by the text that wasn't blocked out, which does line up with how the memory gun works-- at the end of the clip, McGucket makes a reference to Bill himself, the very thing he wanted to forget.
And wouldn't that be another instance of some kind of damaging cycle? Something took away Bill's memories, now Bill has stolen the memories of another? I know, I know, it's kind of a long shot.
But you have to admit, it is interesting to think about.
Now, there might be one final thing you might be wanting from me.
If Bill was someone's accomplice, who is the bigger fish?
And to that I say...
I have no fucking idea.
Not a single clue. Bill says on his "weaknesses" page that anyone whose figured out his weaknesses haven't lived to tell the tale, but that's already verifiably false with Stan still being alive, and with the added bonus of his memory possibly being tampered with... are we sure?
I'm... not sure if the thisisnotawabsitedotcom.com lost files will have anything to do with Euclidia or not. I'm not sure what they'll be at all, honestly.
But at the end of the day, I do think this theory holds some sort of ground and is an interesting angle (pun intended) of looking at Bill's past.
Hope you all liked the theorizing, folks! Let's all wait for that countdown!!
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penkura · 3 months
Text
last forever [9/13]
Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed with the caveat of ending it via annulment once you received word from your parents regarding the original engagement, despite your growing feelings for your close friend.
Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami later (like epilogue later so chill)
Warnings: Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, referenced sex (waaaaaay later on), mutual pining, Zoro is bad at feelings but what's new there, eventual romance I promise, mention of past attempted assault (I'll warn in that chapter), creepy older dude later on
Note: Post-timeskip, go let's go. Of course, they're a little older now, we know Zoro is 21, so Reader is now 20. :) This chapter IS shorter than the others that are left, but that just means we're getting into the better parts of the story. I really can't wait for you all to see what's next. :)
Taglist:
@misfits1a
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[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3] ● [Ch. 4] ● [Ch. 5] ● [Ch. 6] ● [Ch. 7] ● [Ch. 8]
It’s been a long time since you’ve felt such strong anxiety about seeing people, not since the last time you’d met with your parents’ chosen fiancé for you, but it’s come back in spades at the thought of seeing your crew again after two years.
At the thought of seeing Zoro again, more than anything.
The thought of him deciding to dissolve your marriage when he sees you again is the main source of your anxiety, what you try to push away as you leave the lovely group of swordswomen who took care of you for the last two years, those who you’d told about your situationship with Zoro wishing you the best as they dropped you off. You hope no one is jinxing anything, but still feel nervous every time you see someone or something that could be Zoro as you go about, looking for things to purchase and for your friends.
When Nami and Usopp find you, the happiness between the three of you makes all your worries and anxieties dissipate for the time being. Both hug you so tightly, a three-person group hug, you almost cry out of happiness at seeing them again, before Nami starts fawning over how you look so much stronger yourself. She can’t believe how different you seem! She adores your outfit of course, a fitted tank top with knee-length shorts to match and ankle boots, your beloved sword from Elias still attached to your hip. You tell her how wonderful she looks, giving Usopp the same compliment as the three of you start making your way towards Sunny, running into a distraught Chopper who you’re able to calm down after an explanation of the fake Starw Hats on Sabaody.
Chopper gives you a big hug and lets you carry him the rest of the way, its like you have a child but you don’t mind it. You’ll baby Chopper all he wants, it’s the least you can do after he’d taken such great care of you all as your crew’s doctor before you were separated.
Once you make it to Sunny, you’re glad to see your ship and home is safe, and receive compliments from Franky and Robin regarding how more grown up you look. You are twenty now, after all, but it makes you smile shyly and your face feel warm as you thank them both.
After Chopper leaves to retrieve the missing members of your crew once Brook arrives, you start to feel your anxiety creep in again, Robin noticing right away and giving you a soft smile.
“Zoro will be glad to see you again.”
“You,” you gulp a bit, smiling nervously now, “you think so?”
“I do. You two have been close since I’ve been with everyone, I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you’re well.”
You really do hope Robin is right, especially when you hear Chopper calling for you all, the large bird he’d left on returning now with Luffy, Sanji, and Zoro aboard as well. You surprise yourself by not crying when you see Zoro, instead grinning brightly and joining Usopp at waving widely to the three of them, shouting their names.
It slightly catches Zoro off guard to see you so happy, but still makes him keep his own smile on his face when he sees you. Robin is correct, though Zoro doesn’t know that, but he is truly glad to see you’re fine, you look so much stronger than two years ago, and seeing how you keep yourself up on your feet when Luffy flings himself down to give you a hug, he’s even more impressed. He wants, needs, to talk to you alone, but after making it on deck, Luffy still hasn’t let you go, Zoro realizes its going to be a bit before he can take you elsewhere to talk, especially so once Sanji recovers from his nosebleed and also gives you a hug. He turns to fawning over you like Nami did, telling you how lovely you look.
Zoro can’t disagree with that statement.
He gives you time with Sanji, who continues to talk to you and tries to tell you about his own two years, until he notices you’re constantly glancing past him, and he knows exactly why.
Sanji smiles at you, before taking you by the shoulder and pushing you towards Zoro, essentially telling you to go see your husband already, he’s been waiting for you to be free so you could talk maybe. It makes you smile at him before you finally walk over to Zoro, who had turned to leaning against the rail with his arms crossed and eyes closed, until you tap his shoulder and he opens his one good eye to see you.
“Hey there.”
“Hey.”
You feel nervous, for some reason, before you notice the scar over his left eye finally and tilt your head.
“What happened with your eye?”
“Training accident,” Shrugging, Zoro stands up straight and you realize he’s gotten slightly taller in the last two years, he notices the same for you but you’re still shorter than him, “Come with me for a bit, yeah?”
Nodding, you follow Zoro up to the crow’s nest, the two of you briefly talking about your two years. You’re amazed to hear he trained under Mihawk, while Zoro is beyond impressed you ended up in a village for swordswoman. He knew you looked stronger, he can’t wait to see how much better you’ve become with your sword.
Once you’re both in the crow’s nest, before you can say anything else, Zoro surprises you this time but hugging you as tightly as he can, which you return once you’ve shaken off the shock that he’s initiated this. You thought the two years would make the two of you drift apart, not being around each other or anything, but perhaps you’d just been paranoid the whole time.
Don’t cry, I don’t want to cry right now…
“I missed you.”
He’s making it difficult for you not to cry, so you just nod a bit, biting your tongue to keep from crying.
“I missed you too, Zoro…”
Neither of you say anything for a while, you’re impressed the rest of your crew hasn’t tried to bother and bring you both back down with everyone, but you’re also grateful for it. You both need this, just some time together, time alone, it’s probably not enough time to discuss your marriage and what’s next, but you don’t really care that much.
“I…I love you…”
Zoro nods, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead briefly.
“I know.”
That’s enough for you right now, it still makes you smile up at him, before you frown a bit, causing Zoro to raise an eyebrow at you.
“My parents…they still want me to go back and marry him…”
“Oh yeah?”
You nod, staying quiet for a moment before you sigh and lay your head back against his chest and gripping his top while he strokes your hair a bit. He may not agree with what you’re about to say, but after two and a half years, your marriage could only be ended by divorce, a thought you’ve hated since this came into being. You even hated the thought of the annulment plans, and now, you two only had the choices of divorcing or staying married.
“I don’t want a divorce…”
“We’re not gonna. Not now,” Zoro hugs you a little tighter, one arm around your shoulders and the other around your waist as he gives you a kiss on the top of your head, “I won’t let anyone take you away from the crew, even if we stay married forever.”
“Thank you…thank you so, so much, Zoro…”
“Of course. I’d never let anyone force you into anything, wife.”
+!+
You think Fishman Island was one of the fastest “get to city enter battle” events you’ve experienced do far, maybe second only to Sabaody. Your crew was separated almost immediately, you ended up with Nami and she took you to the shops right away, demanding discounts and trying to put cute clothes on you, things she swears Zoro would probably like to see you in with a grin while you shy away and push her off a bit. Admitting to her and Robin that you’re in love with Zoro might have been a mistake, but at least you have people to talk to about the situation.
Of course, though, nothing is easy as a member of the Straw Hats and you all quickly are defending the Ryugyu Kingdom from Hordy Jones, fighting off masses of Fishmen to protect yourselves and the innocent citizens of the kingdom.
While you don’t take out anywhere near as many enemies as Zoro or Sanji, you still fight enough to help keep them at bay, getting some compliments post-battle from your crewmates and some of the citizens. It makes you feel both shy and proud at the same time, your two years of training weren’t a waste after all, even Zoro can see the changes in your fighting style and how well your attacks land now. You don’t look as nervous as you used to either, despite the confidant air you’d put on back then. The little bout you two had when you asked to stay with him, he saw you shaking so badly because you were scared but also still recovering from being sick, you tried your best and Zoro could see that, it’s part of why he had no problem with you following him, especially once you let him start teaching you more about swordsmanship.
You’ve definitely improved from the shaky, scared girl he met four years ago.
You feel like Zoro hasn’t changed at all, despite the scar over his left eye and definitely becoming bulkier, he was still the same to you. Still makes your heart flutter when you watch him fight, he still checks on you after fights, it makes you happy to see he’s still the same. He’s still Zoro, of course he wouldn’t change.
“Hey, come with me for a minute.”
During the celebration that’s being thrown for you all as thanks for saving Fishman Island, Zoro takes your hand leads you off again, just the two of you. It makes you comment that if he keeps taking you away from everyone, someone is going to get the wrong idea, but Zoro just shrugs it off. He doesn’t really care what others think still, you’ve always known that.
Once you’re far enough away from everyone, he guides you to sit beside him before surprising you with what he says next.
“We should talk about our situation.”
The fact Zoro actually wants to discuss what’s going to happen next is the surprise, but you still nod, agreeing with him.
“Change your mind on us divorcing?”
“No, I haven’t,” Zoro brushes a bit of hair behind your ear, placing his hand on your cheek which makes you smile at him, “We’re not divorcing unless you want to, but…I think we should try, you know, dating, or whatever you want to call it…”
You blink a few times, completely confused and shocked before tilting your head.
“…huh? You…what?”
“What, you suddenly going deaf or something?” Zoro pinches your cheek a little which makes you wince and pout, before giving him a glare that makes him smirk at you, “We should try a relationship, forget your parents and our original deal. I…I want to try being your boyfriend.”
You really didn’t expect this, you first thought,  like you asked, that Zoro had changed his mind and decided he was done with your fake marriage, but instead, he actually wants to give the two of you a try. Wants to see if this might be something that really could last, not a temporary solution to your personal problems.
While you think it through for a moment, you barely register that Zoro is starting to look nervous, something you’ve never really seen before. Once you make up your mind, before he can say anything more, you lean up and kiss him, pulling away with a smile that Zoro returns.
“I’d love to give us a real try, Zoro.”
Everything is going to be okay, you’re sure of it.
+!+
Sanji and Nami can see a difference in your and Zoro’s relationship quickly after you leave Fishman Island. As you approach Punk Hazard, Zoro doesn’t really let you go, keeping you near to him even as you all draw straws and you end up being one of the group to stay on Sunny and keep watch. Neither of them say anything when he pulls you aside once again, but the smile you have while you talk to Zoro tells them both everything is fine, especially when you nod once more and hug him, which he returns to their surprise.
The two look at each with questioning glances, trying to see if you’ve said anything to the other, but both shrug. Truthfully there’s not been time to talk to either of them, and when the group Zoro’s a part of leaves, the two drag you to the kitchen and start asking questions, which causes you to laugh, but Nami doesn’t really think it’s funny.
“Come oooonnnn,” Nami leans against your arm, giving you a pout, “You guys are acting weird, you can’t tell us something isn’t going on.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Nami.”
The blush on your face starts to give you away, and Sanji figures it out, giving you a slight grin.
“Did he finally tell you he likes you back?”
“Mm…something like that.”
“Are you guys dating then?”
“Maybe~” You’re not very good at being coy, to the point Nami gasps and shouts that she knew it before hugging you tightly while you laugh and Sanji sighs, still smiling.
“About damn time. That stupid mosshead, taming two years to tell you anything.”
“Well, all he said was that he wants to try a relationship, so that’s what we’re doing.”
“So he’s your boyfriend!” The little squeal and giggle from Nami makes you join in. “Finally, I told you he liked you back!!”
“Yeah, yeah, you were right!”
Sanji is quiet while he watches the two of you for a few moments. He really does hope that you and Zoro are going to be okay one day, that he’ll stay your husband and neither of you has to deal with the divorce papers or anything like that. He doesn’t want to watch another couple in his life break down, even as you two are just starting out.
Well, minus your two and a half years of actually being married, even though it hasn’t been a real marriage yet. It still isn’t, as you explain after a bit, but your friends seem to get it. You still want things kept under wraps, until Nami brings something up.
“Yeah…umm…about that…”
You give her a confused look as Sanji sighs again.
“Luffy kind of told everyone that didn’t know. It was the day Franky was making comments about you and mosshead being in his bed.”
Groaning, you lean back in your seat before nodding.
“All right then…let’s keep me and Zoro dating between the four of us then?”
“A good idea.”
“At least we can keep a secret.”
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sylvia-plaths-fig-pie · 3 months
Text
Teach Me ♡ Sam Winchester
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Pairing: Sam winchester x reader
Wc: didn't check but it's not too long
Tw: not proof read, no use of y/n, slightly suggestive if you squint ig, mentions of cannon typical violence but not really
Summary: Sam hears you playing piano (listen to the song i imaged bellow), you're so at peace (so beautiful) that he can't help but utter the words "teach me" and that's exactly what you do.
♡♡♡♡♡
For once you Sam and Dean were actually staying in a nice hotel. Yep a hotel not a motel. It was appart of the ruse to be fancy business people, and that included staying in a nice hotel.
While the case was tough and you all had many sleepless nights it turned out to be a simple salt and burn and the ghost was gone.
And that lead you to now, standing in the hotel lobby looking at the beautiful grand piano in front of you.
You used to play piano as a child, your one constant throught the hectic hunting lifestyle growing up was piano, but it had been years since you last actually played. But how you longed to play once more.
That's why you found your self sitting at the stool, your hands tracing the keys as you thought of what to play.
You settled on your favorite 'easy' tune, one that you knew you would never forget; a piano cover of this is love.
And so you played.
And played.
And played.
You were at peace for the first time in a long time. It felt right.
Maybe in another life, if you weren't a hunter, you could have been a professional pianists. If you had proper training, and the time, and a piano all to your self. Yet it wasn't ment to be.
Sometimes you just wanted to leave this life forever, chase your dreams, maybe be a music teacher, have a family or something? That's what normal people do, right?
But you couldn't, or rather you wouldn't, you couldn't leave the Winchesters. Or at least you couldn't leave one spefic Winchester. Of course you cared for Dean as though he was your own older brother, but Sam... you couldn't imagine a life without him. You would do anything for that boy, it terrified you, and yet you stuck by him through everything regardless of the pit in your stomach everytime he was in danger, or the ache in your heart when he looked at you.
Dean made fun of you constantly, always teasing about your sight 'crush' on his brother. He always said Sam felt the same, but you knew that wasn't the case. So you had to settle for looking out for him from afar, being too scared to say anything to make it awkward.
So you played.
And played.
And played.
"Teach me."
You look up from the piano in front of you, coming out of what felt like a trance.
"Teach me." Sam said again, sitting beside you on the tiny piano stool. It clearly wasn't ment for two people to sit on, yet there he was, all 6"4 of him, perched beside you.
You studied him for a second, unsure as to whether he really ment his words or not. It appeared that he actually was in earnest.
At first you wanted to say no. Not because you didn't want to teach him, the opposite really. You didn't know whether you would be able to keep your composure if you had to hold and move Sam's hand in order to teach him.
Just as you were about to come up with some excuse you made the mistake of looking him in the eyes. His eyes, that were already trained on yours, were embodying his 'puppy dog' eyes as you and Dean coined them. Eyes that melted your heart and made it impossible to say no.
"Fine." You rolled your eyes and sighed at Sam, looking away from him. 'Don't make a fool of yourself' you heard yourself saying in your head.
You were just teaching him how to play piano, Sam's a curious guy, there is nothing more to it, no lingering feelings or longing stares (well from him anyways). You were just being a good friend.
That's what you and Sam are. Friends.
"I'll teach you happy birthday since its almost Dean's..." you trailed of catching a glimps of Sam's wide smile from the corner of your eye. "So you need to put your thumb on C."
He didn't move.
You looked at him in the eyes now, raising an eyebrow. First he asks you to teach him, but now he isn't following the very first instructions? You were confused untill-
"I don't know why your looking at me, I don't know which one C is." Sam laughed.
Shit. You'd forgotten about that.
"Oh sorry," you mumbled awkwardly, "it's the one before the two black notes, can I?" You gestured to his hand, signalling to Sam that you wanted to place it in the correct place your self.
"Sure go right ahead," you pretended not to notice his smile growing even wider as you took his hand and rested it in the correct position on top of the piano. Surely his reaction was just in your head, right?
"Wait, I'll put my hand on yours and I'll tap what fingers you need to play the notes, does that make sense." Your explanation was convoluted but Sam just nodded giving you the green light.
You moved to rest your hand on top of his, leaning into him so that your right hand was atop of his right hand.
Blush crept up your neck, you prayed Sam didn't notice. Judging by how focused he was on your hand ontop of his hand, he seemed not to notice.
"Ready?" You questioned.
"Go easy with ne now," he joked, "it's my first time."
"Shut it winchester." You laughed. You loved it when Sam was sassy, he knew it too.
Gently you began to tap his fingers so he played the correct notes.
C C D C F E
C C D C F E
*click*
The sound of a camera stop you, spinning round to see what the source of the noise was.
Dean was stood beside the piano with a with eating grin on his face. "Cheese," he said sarcastically as he pocked his phone.
"Dean what are you-?" You began to ask but he cut you off.
"I'm going to show it to everyone on your guys' wedding day" he said nonchalantly, smirking.
"But we're not-"
"Sam and I aren't-"
"Why would you-?"
"That's so weird to say-"
You and Sam both began talking at the same time. Each of you growing extremely red. Your hands still on top of one another's.
"You both need to cut the bullshit!" He cried shaking his head. And with that Dean turned and left before calling down the hallway, "I'm going to the bar to get drunk, you better have confessed some feelings when I'm back cos I'm suck of hearing you mope about one another to me!"
You and Sam stared at eachother.
Silence.
You wanted to scream, or cry, or run away, just something. But you didn't know what to do. Even if you did, you were frozen. You just stared at Sam, eyes wide, shocked at Dean's outburst.
"Dean's right."
"what...?"
What!?!?
Did Sam know about your silly crush? Did Dean tell him? You were going to kill him.
Or did he mean.... no he couldn't, could he? Could Sam really reciprocate your feelings. You swalled down the thought, not wanting to get your hopes high for nothing.
That's when Sam began to speak once again.
"My whole life I've always wanted to find my person you know." Sams eyes were facing down at the piano key's unable to meet yours. "And I thought I found people in the past, but all of them... well you know what happened."
Of course you knew what happened. He'd told you in a moment of vulnerability in one of the first nights that to spent all night talking while researching a case. You knew eachother inside and out. You knew eachother darkest and deepest secrets. You knew eveything about eachother.
"And since then I've been so scared," he continued, "scared that if I got close to anyone that they would end up the same. Then you happened. We met you on a hunt and you've stuck with us ever since and I kept being drawn to you, and I hated myself for it. I wanted to keep you far away to protect you, but the more I wanted to protect you the more I wanted to..."
He trailed off and took in a large intake of breath, lifting his eyes with determination to meet yours.
"The more I wanted to be closer to you, the more I wanted to hold you to be there for you.. to kiss you." His eyes momentarily flicking down to your lips, your breath hitched.
"The more I relised I was in love with you, that I am in love with you." He flipped his hand so that he was now holding yours, lacing his fingers between yours. You didn't speak, you knew he had more to say and you were more that happy to listen. Your brain was going a hundred miles an hour, Sam's words were simultaneously grounding you and making your brain go into overdrive, but his hand holding yours assured you that this was real. This moment is real. It's real.
"So I talked to Dean about it, about you, alot and I've finally stopped fighting it. I know you can take care of yourself, and I know your not afraid of the risks of this job, the risks of being near me, as you've lived through so many horrors with me, you were by my side though everything and I don't think I can go on any longer without you knowing, I could never forgive myself for letting you get away..." He stopped speaking, he said what he wanted to. It was your turn to speak now. Yet you couldn't find the words, they all seemed lodged in your throat. You wanted to say it back but you couldn't, all you could do was look at Sam, your eyes wide.
"You don't have to say anything if you don't-" Sam began, trying to make you feel comfortable, he was worried you didn't feel the same. He wasn't aware that it was complete opposite reason as to why you couldn't speak. But you cut him off with a new found confidence.
"I swear to god Sam if you don't kiss me right now." You pleaded, avoiding his eyes.
A moment passed. Then you felt his hand leave yours. Panic surged through you. Oh god what had you done?
Then his hands were on your face and his lips found yours. You closed your eyes falling deeper and deeper into him, you were intoxicated, you couldn't get enough. His lips were rough and soft, neddy and patient all at the same time. It was so much, it would be too much, but it wasn't, it was perfect.
It felt like you and Sam were the only two people in the world. It felt right. All the horrors of life, all the monsters, demons, angels, eveything, none of it mattered in that moment. Nothing but the two of you existed in that moment.
And then all too soon he pulled away.
"I'm assuming you feel the same way?" He asked almost bashfully, redness creeping up his neck.
"Sam winchester, I love you and all your dorky-ness," you dramatically declared as Sam rolled his eyes, "and i-"
You were cut off by his lips finding yours once again. You were just where you wanted to be and for once the world seemed right, or at least it seemed okay with same by your side, or more accurately Sam's lips on yours.
"FINNALLY!"
You and Sam jumped away from one another, startled by a loud cry.
Dean was stood at the bottom of the corridor, his arms raised in the air in a sort of celebration.
"TOOK YOU BOTH LONG ENOUGH!"
You and Sam just looked and eachother and began to laugh.
"I guess he does have a point..." you commented between laughter.
"Yeah I guess that means we have to make up for lost time." He laughed, resting his hands in your hair.
"What do you mean?" You asked, playing along, ot was much more fun this way.
"Well I suppose I can think of a few things..." he trailed of suggestively, "what do you say?"
You smiled at him knowing exactly what he ment, and couldn't help but reply with what lead to this moment.
"Teach me."
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sunlightmurdock · 11 months
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Like This Forever | 0.1 | J. Seresin
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masterlist | next chapter
You’re thinking of the past, right as the future is about to change forever.
Warnings: accidental pregnancy, childhood friends to lovers, country singer!Jake, smut, pining, blissful ignorance, other warnings to follow. wc: 3k (18+ minors do not interact)
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A U G U S T 1 9 7 4 / F E B R U A R Y 1 9 9 1
Driftwood — small town southwestern Texas, situated in Lockheart County. Springs, stony hills, and steep canyons. It’s good land, occupying a tiny patch of earth in the middle of the Edwards Plateu. That’s what they all say: good land, good soil. Large acreages of wheat for miles around, grown annually for harvest and winter through spring livestock grazing. The remaining two-thirds of the region is rangeland devoted to cattle ranching. Ranches in this region often seem older than the landscape itself. Lockheart County’s livestock industry is nationally appreciated, it was, even back then. Ranches here are huge, they’ve been there for generations. The town of Driftwood, itself, sits in a valley. It holds on to the people who settle there just like it holds onto the weight of that thick, summer heat all through the day. So hot that even the trees bend and furl like they’re seeking shade too.
Back then, Driftwood was even smaller than it is now. Post Office, Church, two schools, a fleet of locally owned stores on Main Street and a few other buildings for the fathers who weren’t ranchers or ranch hands to work.
On that day in early August, most of Driftwood’s thousand person population were nestled amongst the pews of St. Augustine’s Church, just outside of town. It’s a mile and a half from Main Street, and a mile and a half from the furthest fence on the Seresin Ranch. Their house is a sprawling thing that Bill’s grandfather had built — they haven’t got that kind of money now, and they didn’t on that morning in August. They’ve got three boys, who were squirming around the front pew, melting into the aged wood below them in their smart white button ups. They’ve got another boy too, standing behind Pastor James, holding a processional candle.
Jake’s their youngest. He was nine back then. Small for his age, especially when you stood him next to his brothers and their broad shoulders and long legs. His hair was beyond blond, lightened from the sun. His cheeks dusted with brown freckles and his eyes always narrowed into a type of John Wayne kind of squint. Jake loved John Wayne back then. He loved the cowboys on his bed sheets, and the fact he could see the cattle from his bedroom window. All he wanted back then was a pistol on his hip and a one-way ticket to El Dorado.
Mary-Lynn Seresin grew up in Driftwood, just like her husband had. She had known Bill since she was a little girl, and she had always known that she would marry him one day. Her nails were polished pink that day, sitting pretty atop the procession card as she fans herself with it. Two pews behind, you could still see a droplet of sweat bead from her neat blonde hairline and trail into the collar of her blue polka-dotted Sunday dress.
On that particular Sunday, the fans had packed up and stopped working. So, all six hundred of you who could make it out to St. Augustine’s we’re trapped in there — not just with Pastor James’ storytelling, but with the thick heat pressing down on the entire valley feeling like it had all been shut in this one room with the rest of you.
At the front, Jake Seresin’s cheeks were red, his hair was beading with sweat and his scarecrow, twig-like arms were trembling around the cross. He struggled with its weight and you had watched his green eyes flash out towards the crowd, briefly landing on his mother. Mary-Lynn gave him a proud nod. Bill was staring at the stagnant ceiling fans above their heads. You, were staring right at Jake.
Eight years old yourself, just eight weeks younger than Jake is, you have known that little grass-stain your entire life. In fact, Mary-Lynn and your mother found out that they were expecting just days apart. They had been in the same high school grade as girls, had married men who were good friends, and back then your mother had worked in the town’s hair salon five days a week. They grew very close through their pregnancies. Your mother was the first one to send flowers when Mary-Lynn went into labour a month and a half early.
Jake’s John-Wayne-Squint deepened through the heavy air, watching you like you were both about to draw pistols and settle this like men — right in the middle of Pastor James’ final verse. Your pigtails and your white Sunday dress weren’t fooling him. His robes and the heavy cross in his hand weren’t fooling you. Clearly following his brother’s gaze, Daniel Seresin turns and peers at you over his shoulder. He’s the closest in age to Jake, but he’s still five years older. Thirteen then and too grown up for childish squabbles like those, he just turned back to the front and shook his head.
The first three of the Seresin boys were all born within three consecutive years. Matthew, Noah and Daniel. They’re each tall like their mother, blonde like her too, and have inherited their father’s linebacker shoulders. Noah was fourteen and about to be a freshman in high school. After he fixed the chain on your bike at the beginning of summer, you were full-blown head-over-heels in love with him back then. You thought you were anyway.
Jake, however, had been in your class since Kindergarten and you had been forced to share your toys with him for even longer than that.
His arms trembled before you and your mouth had twitched. Neither one of you was listening to the service. It was almost over. Just a few more minutes until Pastor James wrapped up and the people of Driftwood and poured out of this sauna and out into the dry, morning sun.
Quickly, you shot a look at your mother sitting at your side. She was listening intently, staring right ahead with her neatly steamed clothes and her hair-sprayed hair. You’ll always remember the heavy smell of her rose-scented perfume. Every time you inhale it, you’re sitting at the foot of her bed, watching her fix her face in her vanity. Then, you looked to your father on the other side of you. Exactly the same. Pleased, you turn your attention back to the youngest Seresin boy.
Scrunching your nose, you had sat forwards just slightly and stuck your tongue out at him. Quite the diss back then. Jake’s green eyes had widened, sweat beading down his back under his white shirt and his service robes.
Driftwood is a safe place. It’s a fantastic town to raise children. The schools aren’t overcrowded and cars don’t speed through the centre of town. Country roads are a different story. But no one bats an eyelid, especially not back then, when their children are out of sight.
Mary-Lynn was busily detailing the events of her dinner party that coming Saturday to a group of women that are invited. She’s quite the hostess still. Your mother stood amongst them. Neither one of them were concerned about where their children were in the slightest. Until, that is, the sounds of muffled screaming filled their ears. The mothers of Driftwood rush to the commotion in their kitten heels and pretty dresses. Your mother was the first around the corner. She would recognise the sound of her baby’s screaming anywhere. But you weren’t the one in trouble. As usual, you had been causing it.
Your white dress grass-stained and muddy, dirt under your fingernails and covering your formerly white, frilled socks. You were kneeling. You haven’t yet noticed the crowd of women rushing in your direction. You’ve got Mary-Lynn Seresin’s youngest son pressed into the dirt, kneeling on his back and twisting his arm uncomfortably behind him.
“Say Uncle!” You demanded.
“You’re so dead! Get off!” Jake struggled under you, screaming with all the force that his growing lungs would allow. His voice must have been audible across the entire valley with how he was hollering. Freckled cheek pressed into the dirt, his white shirt was destroyed and he was in the middle of ruining his shoes with how he was scrambling for purchase in the dried dirt.
Quickly, your mother had grabbed you under your arms and hauled you off of the boy, spinning you to face her.
“What do you think you’re doing young lady?”
“He started it! — He said my dress was ugly!”
“It is ugly, you look like a girl!” Jake huffed from behind you as he had stumbled onto his feet and taken a look down at his church clothes. Slowly, he had lifted his gaze to look at his mother. Sullen and worried looking, he began to pout. It wasn’t working. Mary-Lynn had raised three boys by then, she knew when they were trying to play innocent.
The thing about growing up so close together, is that approaching double digits was a confusing time. It was around that age that your mother began to put her foot down when it came to all of those tom-boy activities. Girls might roughhouse and come home with holes in their jeans and mud on their faces, but young ladies didn’t. The dress was her idea.
Jake’s comment had been passing, just a whisper as his family had headed into church ahead of yours, but he was right — you did look like a girl. Back then, that wasn’t a compliment coming from him. So, you had cornered him outside and pummeled him into the dirt. Fair is fair.
“Mary-Lynn, I am so sorry about her — send me the dry-cleaning bill. I’m sorry, we should go.” Your mother had sighed in a hurry, frowning down at your ruined clothes, then looking towards Jake’s. You’ll always remember the smile on Mary-Lynn’s face after. Not pity, because she knew you were in a lot of trouble for this. Just fondness. She had gently patted your mother’s forearm and shaken her head.
“Let’s finish our chat. They’re already filthy. Let them play.”
Looking up at her, you hadn’t understood why she was siding with you back then. You had just almost broken her son’s arm for sport. As you grew, Mary-Lynn Seresin was always on your side. In her kitten heels and dresses, she remembered being a dirt-covered little girl once too. No one was telling her son that it was time yet, to be a man. There’s no harm in letting you be young a little longer.
Your mother had looked uncertain, but people in Driftwood always looked to Mary-Lynn for advice. She had somehow managed to keep four boys in line perfectly, her parenting expertise was studied by those around her. Finally, she had given you a brief nod.
You remember spinning on the delicate almost-heel of your church shoes, rounding on Jake, ready to brawl. You have no clue where the stick came from, but he was armed when you had turned around — but Jake always fought fair. He tossed you a stick of your own and took aim. Green eyes narrowed, he was trying to look down his freckled nose at you, but you were taller then.
“She’s gonna marry that boy someday.” Mary-Lynn Seresin had huffed with a wistful smile, watching the mud-caked children tear off through the field once again. This time, with sticks in hands and violent intent plastered across their dirty faces.
You’re not eight anymore. Jake’s not nine. This time of the year, you both happen to be twenty-six. You aren’t trying to kill him with a stick anymore either. You’re sitting at your favourite bar in Driftwood — there are four now — watching your best friend up on stage. He’s always confident. He has been since he hit that growth spurt when he was twelve. Since then, Jake has been unstoppable. But on stage is when he really shines.
The Dark Star feels like an old bar. It’s packed every Friday night. It smells like malt and smoke and Jake’s been playing here every Saturday since he was seventeen. This is the last time that it will ever be like this, and you don’t even know it yet. Jake’s in the middle of an original. People around here know him, they know his music. They might not get all the words right, but he always gets people singing.
Jake isn’t small for his age now. He grew into his nose, and he inherited those big shoulders, his skin’s tanned from his days out at the ranch. He’s strong and funny and kind. Sometimes it catches you off guard, when you turn your head and find a man in place of the little boy you once knew.
You’re in a booth, talking numbers. It turns out that you had inherited your mother’s knack for business strategy, and Jake’s way with words had rubbed off on you long ago.
You don’t look like the little girl Jake had once known either. If he was concerned about you looking like a girl before, then you can only imagine how dismayed he must be when he looks at you now. Breasts and everything.
“It’s more than potential, Stu — you saw how crazy people were for him when he was opening for The Ashford Band.” You tell him, fingers curled around a brown glass bottle. This is already settled, the deal is already done. You knew from the second that he walked in that you had Stu Adler suckered.
This is a deal that you’ve been mulling over for a couple of months now. Getting Jake on his first headline tour. His debut album came out last week and it’s doing well, but the record label is tiny and the publicity deal is even smaller. Jake’s making pennies compared to other people in his genre, but you’re about to change all of that.
“Six months is a long time on the road. It’s a different lifestyle,” Stu’s dishwater grey eyes flicker briefly up from the plunging neckline of your top to meet your gaze. He’s an older man, with a once successful career in Los Angeles. Now, he spends his time scrounging small towns for talent. He’s just a stepping stone in your plans for Jake. “You’re sure he can handle it?”
Stretching your legs out, you scoff incredulously at the accusation as Jake’s last song dwindles behind you. The beer bottle is cool against your lips. Stu swallows, watching your lips purse around the rim to drink. You know he’d die for the chance to get his wrinkly, old dick in your mouth — it’s why Jake’s about to get the best deal of his life.
“Jake? — Of course.”
“Can you?” Stu asks. The light on you for once makes you cringe. Even so, your poker face doesn’t falter. Calmly staring across the table at him, a small smile on your face. “Y’know, he’s going to need a manager that I can rely on. I.e. — one that he won’t dump, sweetheart.”
This only makes your smile grow. “Jake is like a brother to me. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
It’s that lie that secures the deal. Six months, a hundred and sixty dates across the US. Mostly small venues, but it’s his first headline tour — and it’s all because of you. Because of that one little white lie. Letting Stu think that he’s got a chance with you. Letting him think that you’ve never fucked Jake.
You have. Twice, already by this point. Once, after senior prom. Your date was an asshole and his was cruel. You’d parked his truck out in the west pasture of the Seresin ranch and got a little too drunk under the stars, and wound up with your legs hiked up over his shoulders. The second time was Thanksgiving two years ago. Your family joined his. All of his brothers have fiancés or wives now. Sharing Jake’s bed in his childhood home that night, neither one of you was drunk. You were just lonely, and maybe bored.
Tonight, there are a couple of different factors at play. Sure, by the time that you and Jake collapse down onto that red, velvet couch in the Dark Star’s ‘dressing room’, you’ve had plenty to drink. You’re not quite as lonely as you were that thanksgiving, though.
You turn your head and he’s grinning at the ceiling, chest heaving from the energetic final song. His arms stretch along the backs of the couch, his eyes closed for a moment. You watch him silently.
“You’re incredible.” Jake’s half-cut on an unhealthy mix of tequila and vodka, but smiling, eyes still shut, chin still pointed towards the sky. He gives his head a small shake. “A hundred and sixty dates.”
A smile plasters itself across your lips. As drunk as you are, it’s nice to be complimented for your hard work. “Yeah, we’ll see if you still think I’m so incredible when you’re living off of burgers and beer and still have eighty shows to go.”
The smell of cigarettes lives within the fibre of this room. Part of the furniture, nestled amongst the cracks in the red painted walls. There’s the couch that you’re sitting on, and an illuminated vanity against the far wall, and then a coat stand. It’s not much of a dressing room, but it’s fine.
You just wish it would stop spinning.
“I mean it.” His fingers rest atop your denim clad thigh, patting platonically. You hear him sigh from beside you. He squeezes at the supple skin under his hand. “Thank you.”
“Jake… since when do you have manners?” You ask him. Both of you are sitting with your eyes shut on this old, probably dirty, velvet couch. It’s five in the morning. The two of you might have gone a little overboard with celebrating. Wayne Mayhew, the owner of the Dark Star might have threatened to kick you both out of his bar if you didn’t finally get off of his damn stage ten minutes ago.
But there’s a high buzzing between the two of you that feels electric. Wordlessly, you know Jake feels it too. That this is the last night. Here, in this shitty hometown bar. Everything is about to change. After this tour, nothing will ever be the same again — for either of you.
Jake’s thumb trails back and forth in just one small pattern, reminding you that it’s there on your thigh.
It’s been on your mind all day, for no reason at all. That Sunday in August in 1974. Your ruined church dress and the fat bruise on Jake’s cheek the next day when you had seen him at the market. The start of it all.
Those late night drives and all the evenings you studied together. Jake’s football games and his band practices — back when he had thought he wanted to be in a band. Him drying your tears and making you laugh. Growing up together, talking for hours and hours about all of the possibilities. This was everything Jake had ever wanted, and he’s thanking you.
Your eyelids weigh double what they normally do — heavy as you blink open your eyes and turn your head. This time, he’s looking across at you. The tips of his fingers brush the inseam of your blue, low-rise jeans. His face is calm, he isn’t saying anything and he’s far from doing anything either.
Scrunching your nose, you poke your tongue out at him. Across the couch, Jake lifts his brows. The corner of his mouth twitches. He’s got stubble now. Stubble, and chest hair and an Adam’s apple. But that look, that glint in his eye that’s just daring you to try him has always been the same.
Jake’s fingers twitch, pressing into the soft flesh of your inner thigh. Dim lighting, fifteen year old red paint on each of the four walls, and that perpetual cigarette smell — it’s hardly a romantic fantasy. And this is far from a good idea.
But it’s Jake. Confident, loud Jake who gets shy when he’s around someone he really likes. Funny, smart-mouthed Jake who under it all is a great listener. Goofy, habitual Jake who has the nighttime routines of a fifty year old housewife.
Strong-willed, handsome, Jake, your best friend — who’s looking at you like you’re his next meal.
@fia-thefirst @daggerspare-standingby @dempy @v0id-chaos @moonlight-addisyn @grxcisxhy-wp @shakespeareanwannabe @coconut152 @330bpm-whiplash @takemetooneverlanddd @princess76179 @loveofvernonslife @averyhotchner @trickphotography2 @sushiwriterhere @the-romanian-is-bae @atarmychick007 @talktomegooseman @xoxabs88xox @thedroneranger @roostersforevergirl @buckysdollforlife @abaker74 @blackwidownat2814 @kmc1989 @whatislovevavy @lonelywriter10 @s-u-t @topguncortez @callsign-joyride @rosedurin @86laura11 @theenorthstar @mygyn @growup-thatbeautiful @percysaidnever @katiedid-3 @its-the-pilot
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serawritesthings · 8 months
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SPELLBOUND
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Pairing | Legolas x Reader Summary | Your bittersweet love will surely endure until the last of your days. Word Count | 1.1k A/N | Hello lovelies! Ever since I was young, my love for Tolkien has been my greatest inspiration when it came to writing and world-building. But, also all the fantastic writers out there that had me plastered to my computer at 4 in the morning, staying up all night reading wonderfully written stories about all the characters. So, because of this, I am taking a tiiiiiiny step into the community with this short story, hoping some of you will enjoy it. If you do, I'll happily write some more, and if you have an idea you would like me to write, feel free to send me a message!
“Our love cannot be.” 
Her words had echoed in his mind since the moment they left her blushed lips, at first only mindless words lingering in his mind as he stared thoughtlessly, then excessively nagging at him with every chance. Obsessively and utterly spellbound, he could only stare into your teary eyes that never hid from him, taking your trembling lips to his longing ones in a silent protest and carefully surrendering to the prospect of a love that might be possible if you loved hard enough. 
How naive you were, for you said the words too late. What good did it bring to only now speak of what you should have said a long time ago?  Perhaps it could be a testament to yourself that you at least tried to cease what you had, however weak the attempt might have been. Furthermore, you might have wished for him to be stronger than you, more sensible–but perhaps you were too alike in that sense.
“How can you say those words when you already know how my heart longs for you?” You could only close your eyes as he spoke, words dripping like honey over your troubled mind. Momentarily, you bathed in the golden glow, feeling the tenderness soothe the aches and hurt. How could you give him an answer that wouldn’t cause pain when his very words pierced you so–when his care for you extended further than you could have ever expected?
Devastated by the uncertainty that clouded your mind, shaking fingers jerked away from their hold on the silk that covered his forearms. You gasped when his hands didn’t hesitate to grasp yours, placing your palms against his heart that thumped heavily beneath the layers of fabric. 
“Do you feel that?” He spoke softly, leaning his head down to try and meet your avoidant eyes as his other hand found your cheek. “It does not beat like this for anyone but you.”
Unshed tears gathered in the corner of your eyes at his confession, overwhelmed by the idea of being loved by someone who would surpass the short time you had yet to live. Time was a cruel hand, one you couldn’t help but fear deeply, for he, bound to centuries, had a timeless plight while you were made to fade in the fleeting light.
“Our love is naught but a flame caught between two winds,” you say in sorrow, eyes closed to spare yourself the guilt you would feel if you gazed into his sky-blue eyes, the usual vibrancy muted–as if the stars that danced within them had momentarily dimmed. “It’s fragile and fleeting, how will it last?”
“Have I not pledged my heart to you?” Legolas implored, his words dulled with sorrow at the distress residing in your eyes. “Have I not deserved to relish in the warmth you bring me?” 
“Legolas…” He heard you whisper, a gentle plea that fell on deaf ears as he drew you closer, meeting your lips in a longing kiss. In a stolen breath, he reveled in the taste as his forever gentle hands cradled your face, fingers tracing the delicate contours as if to etch it into memory–into the fabric of his immortal being. 
With each passing heartbeat, the glade witnessed two souls so desperate yet unsure, and as it held its breath, the air shimmered around them in the quiet night. Like a silent whisper on your skin, his fingers lighted a path like fire as they caressed, refusing to let you pull away. Oh, how you wanted to. Yet, your heart clamped something so fiercely when the thought passed through your mind, the feeling not far from making you double over in anguish from having to be apart. 
The desperation in his embrace pulled at your heartstrings, urging you to cast away the dark thoughts that rained over you endlessly and lose yourself in his arms that wound their way around you–shielding you from hesitation and fear.
Yet tentative, your response wasn’t passive; fingers seeking refuge in the strands of his silken hair, and with each strand that slipped through your touch, only felt all the more consumed.
“You say it can’t be, yet why can’t my body stop aching for your touch even though you are right here, already in my arms?” His voice was a soft murmur in the night, lips parting for only a moment when speaking to find yours, then again, refusing to let you protest. “Mortal you may be, yet my heart yearning does not know the confines of time.”
Your gaze softened by his sincerity, voiced by her uncertainty. “I can not help but worry about what happens when my time passes. What aching memories will it leave you with…” You trailed off as the thought crossed your mind, but as you felt Legolas brush a strand of hair away from your tear-stained cheek, a soft determination shone through his glossy eyes. 
“Then surely I will pass, for I couldn’t bear to spend the rest of my life in a world where I can not gaze upon the wonders of your spirit that light up the darkest corners of my soul.” Yet melancholy, the words rang true as his voice had a slight undertone of acceptance that confused you. 
He knew that when the burden of your parting would become too heavy, he would transcend the sorrow that bound him to this earthy realm and leave all behind in hopes of once more feeling your touch on his graying skin. He came to welcome the idea a long time ago. Yet, the sadness in your eyes hurt him terribly, and his mind didn’t know how to lessen your anguish and recover the gleam that continuously resided deep within them, at times almost bursting with wonder.
“Why do you speak so indifferently? The thought does nothing but pains me something so fiercely.” He only gave you a soft smile in return, grasping your cheeks between his palms, thumbs tenderly caressing the soft skin underneath it.
“Can you not see, my love?” Placing his forehead against yours, his eyes pierced yours warmly, reassuring you that he only spoke of the truth. “In the realm beyond, we will once more find the embrace of one another, and I will continue to love you as I do now."
“Fret not, meleth nín.” Placing a tender kiss on your teary cheek, he whispered in your ear, bringing your head to rest wearily in the crook of his neck. “For you shall have me for the remaining part of your days, and when your departure becomes a burden too heavy to bear, I shall find you amidst the stars.”
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logansargeantsbabymom · 4 months
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Too Good To Say Goodbye pt4
Lando Norris x Fem!Reader , Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader
warnings: fingering
Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3 I Part 4 I part 5 I part 6 I part 7 I part 8 I part 9 I part 10
F1 Masterlist
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A faint cry is what had awoken me from my slumber. I sat up and rubbed my eyes before making my way to Yelena’s nursery to change and nurse her before burping and rocking her back to sleep.
I’d looked at the time as I rocked her back to sleep reading ‘5:53am’. There was no point in going back to sleep if I had to wake up at 6:30, so I decided that I was gonna go to the kitchen to start breakfast for my family.
On my way to the kitchen, I stopped in the living room grabbing the small bose speaker I had charging before continuing my journey to my big, beautiful kitchen. I opened the fridge and grabbed out enough food to make feed a village. Eggs, Munster Cheese, Turkey Bacon, Turkey Sausages, Greek Yogurt, Granola, Strawberries, Blueberries, Pineapples and Bananas.
I hear faint but heavy footsteps coming close to the kitchen while I mixed seasoning with the eggs before cooking them. I felt arms snake around my waist and a face being nuzzled in the crook of my neck before feeling faint kisses making their way up to my jaw.
“Good Morning beautiful, Did Yelena wake you up again?” I turn around to face my boyfriend before I rake my hand through his crazy bed hair.
“Yes Logan, Yelena did wake me up.” a smirk made its way on my lips as I saw a frown make its way on his.
“I thought I told you to wake me up when she did. You’ve been working too much and you need rest.” he said sincerely. I could never get over the look in his eyes, I could get lost in those greenish blue orbs forever.
“Babe, you think you’re not tired too?” a chuckle makes it way past my lips.
“It doesn’t matter if I’m tired. All that matters is I got her. I got her and I have you, and I’m determined to never let you go again” he said as he snuggled deeper into my body. A piercing sound is what pulled me away from him, it was getting louder and louder until.
“Good Morning sleepy head. Yelena woke up so I heated up some breast milk you have in the freezer and I rocked her back to sleep, we should have about another hour and a half before she wakes up again” Lando said as he walked into our shared bedroom, his feet heavy as they padded against the bedroom floor.
A smile peaks on my face “Thank you handsome. I love you so much, you’re too good to me” I said sleepily as I welcomed Lando back into the comfort of our king size bed.
it had been 4 months since I’ve given birth to Yelena and it had been the best 4 months of my life.
I mean I really did have it all, I had an amazing boyfriend, a wonderful daughter, whom had an amazing dad, I had gotten a job at McLaren as Lando’s food prep and nutrition manager which allowed me to travel with him and keep my daughter with us.
After I’ve gotten the job, one of the first people I told besides Lando, was Logan.
That moment we shared after I’d given birth to Yelena replays in my mind almost every morning and I can’t help but yearn for us to be a happy family together.
We all can’t have what our hearts yearn for though, can we? Not after what Logan did to me, the way he made me feel, how much I wanted to die with every moment I stayed with him, how ungrateful he was whenever I did something for him, the way he hurt me day after day, how he always told me I was crazy when I brought up him not loving me and how he tried to win me back after telling him I was pregnant again before leaving.
Logan was excited to hear that McLaren had offered me the job as Lando’s Food Prep and Nutrition manager seeing as that it would allow not only me to travel with them but Yelena could too. Logan wouldn’t have to resort to seeing her every 2 months or whenever his job could let him escape for a minute.
Traveling with Yelena would be a bit of a hassle but thank god that Lando’s current nutrition manager had 3 more months before his contract was up so that allowed me to mentally prepare myself for having to travel with a baby for work.
“What’re you thinking of?” Lando mumbles against my neck as he rubs his hand up and down my side before they landed on my waist and drawing imaginary circles.
“Us. How lucky I am to have you with me even when I was pregnant and how you stayed, even during the hard nights.” tears welled up in my eyes as I recall some night we had. “How whenever she was keeping me awake with the kicking how’d you stay up with me and rub my belly until she stopped, how you’d wake up whenever I had my weird cravings, because there were so many” I let out a sniffle as the tears that once threatened to fall came pouring down.
a sniffle leaves Lando’s nose “so many” he lets out a light chuckle “and you know what Y/N/N?”
“What?”
“Even though Yelena is not biologically mine, she’s the second best thing that’s happened to me. The Miami win is first, you’re third” a chuckle elapses past my lips as I playfully swat his arm “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. You’re number one, you always have been and you always will be. I wish to live in no world at which you are not in, I’d rather die than let you live without me beside you.”
I’d rather die than let you live without me beside you. If Lando knew about the same dream I’ve been having since that moment between me and Logan in the delivery room I don’t think he’d be saying this. I’ve made my feelings very clear to Logan that night I left our apartment and Lando knows, so why am I dreaming about him, about us being a happy family?
I want to confide in someone about these dreams but I don’t want them to go to Lando with it before I’m ready to tell him. What would Lando think if I did tell him? Would he leave me? Would there be a possible explanation on why I keep having these reoccurring dreams? Do I want to be with Logan? No. No, that one I’m very adamant on. I want nothing to do with Logan relationship wise. I mean he has been a great dad to Yelena but he’s not fit to be my boyfriend or husband, so co-parenting it is for us.
I mean I’m not complaining about that right? I’m the one that left him knowing I was pregnant, I’d be an ass if I showed up to a grand prix walking into the Williams garage being like “Surprise Logan, we have a daughter” you know, I wasn’t that stubborn enough to do that to him.
“We should go back to sleep but I have better plans” a smirk made its way on Lando’s face as he reaches for the covers to put it over our heads. His hand travels lower before they reached the waistband of my already soaked panties, his fingers moving the fabric to the side before moving them between my fold slicking them in my juices. I can feel Lando’s fingers ghosting my aching hole before a cry breaks my heavy breathing.
No, No, please go back to bed I thought “I’ve got her Y/N/N, just stay here and wait for me to come back.” Lando presses a kiss to my lips before he retreats to the nursery. The thought of my boyfriend taking on a dad role turning me on. I fully removed my panties and stuck two fingers in my aching cunt awaiting Lando’s return, before I could actually give myself some pleasure my phone buzzes on the nightstand.
A loud and frustrated sigh leaves my lips as I flip over and look at the caller ID “Logan ‘Merica Sargeant” a shaky breath escapes past my lips as I press answer
“we need to talk”
ENJOYYYYY (i have work)
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i have been a away for a bit and i come back to see you have reached 400 followers!!!!!! CONGRATS BABES YOU DESERVE IT SO MUCH
peter (obv) and "so...do you actually like me-." "we have been together for 4 years. we're getting married next year. what the hell do you think?" - 🎀
Old And Gray With You
✮ tasm!peter parker x f!reader
✮ word count: 0.6k
✮ summary: with your wedding a year away, your mind swirls due to insecurity, but peter is there (like always) to help you through it.
✮ warnings: anxiety, marriage, kisses, reader has hair (no length specified), fluff asf.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
main masterlist ⋆ peter parker masterlist ⋆ four-hundred follower bash
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not my gif. credits to the owner:)
The show playing in front of you was the last thing on your mind. Your fingers were messing with the engagement ring on your finger, a common nervous habit you’ve picked up since Peter asked you to be his. 
A million thoughts were swirling around in your mind, mostly about the wedding. You knew it wasn’t until a while, but still, you couldn’t stop your mind from thinking on its own. Marrying Peter was never a doubt in your mind. You loved him with your entire being and you would marry him tomorrow if you could. But would Peter feel the same in a year when your big day finally arrived? 
His hand on your thigh suddenly became very heavy as anxiety bubbled in your stomach. The air around you felt like it was constricting your ability to take a deep breath. 
At the beginning of your relationship, Peter let you know that he’d rather you talk to him about issues rather than keep them locked away. He knew your tendency to overthink affected your life, so to ease both of your worries, he reassured you that he’d keep an ear open for you to talk to. You decided that this was the perfect time to talk, but having the courage to do so scared you.
Peter knew something was off even before you realized you needed to talk about it. His ability to focus on you with his heightened senses came in handy for situations like this. The second you started fidgeting with the ring he got you made his awareness double, and as soon as he felt you tense, he was just waiting for you to say something. 
And with a deep breath, you did, “So…Do you actually like me?” 
Peter’s head whips around to look at you in an instant, not like he was paying attention to whatever was playing on the TV. He knew you would say something, but it definitely wasn’t that. “Bug, we have been together for four years. We’re getting married next year. What the hell do you think?” He huffed a laugh at the end of the question, his hand moving up and down your thigh in reassurance. 
You give him a sheepish smile in response, your face warming at his response. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was thinking,” you’re embarrassed for even thinking that. A wave of shame washes over you.
“Hey, come here,” Peter opens his arms for you to scoot closer to him, your head resting on his chest while his arm wraps around your shoulders. “Don’t feel sorry for anything your pretty head comes up with,” he whispers into your hair, “I’m going to be with you for forever and ever, and I promise you that.” 
You tilt your head up to look into his eyes. The beautiful brown eyes pull you in, but you don’t mind. If you could lose yourself in Peter’s eyes, you would do it and never complain. Leaning in, you press a warm kiss on his lips. He smiles into the kiss, his arm wrapped around you pulls you in closer. “Love you, Pete,” you mumble. Your words make Peter’s heart explode. 
Pulling away for a breath, his gaze falls over your flustered features, “I can’t wait to be old and gray with you.”
✮ author's note: hi 🎀 anon! good to see you!! thank you for this request:) i have a bash going on for those who don't know!! come join us! don't forget to like, comment, and reblog to support my work:) ok, bye ily <3
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sunandsstars · 2 years
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YAWNETU
CHAPTER 4
Jake x Neytiri x Na’vi!Reader
Summary: One other mate was enough, but two? Unneeded. ___ was the outcast, the unwanted woman. Jake and Neytiri wouldn’t ever see her..right? Warnings: Pregnancy, Angst, Insinuating depression, Mentions of death, Wounds Word count: 2.9k
A/N: Here it is guys! I’m loving the support for the series and rly enjoy reading what you send into my asks. Keep them coming!
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The months went by quick, too quick. Every day was the same for ___, wake up early, do her chores, eat and go to bed. It was a cycle that was never ending and the days started to drag.
Especially since she became swollen with her baby.
The day she found out was one that brought her happiness for the first time in what felt like forever. Mo’at noticed a change, she got tired quicker, her cravings changed her appetite in food and she was more emotional.
“Ma ‘ite, you are with child” the elder grinned, hand on her stomach and pressing down to feel the tiny bump in her skin. ___’s eyes welled up with tears, a smile crawling it’s way onto her face as she giggled and grabbed her mother in laws hand. “The great mother shines upon you, sweet one”
Immediately the woman had to tell her mates, but she hesitated. They have been cruel to her since that day under the tree of souls, the harsh words and hands never stopping their ministrations. It became too much for her and often the Na’vi sought comfort in the woods, where she met Norm and Spider.
The child was a home away from home, her comfort during dark days. Norm often let her have days alone together where she would take the toddler to find fruit, swim in the nearby lakes or show him the beauty of his home. He was her light and she vowed to take care of him. In some ways they were the same, abandoned and alone.
When ___ did end up letting Neytiri and Jake know of her condition, they glowered at her and the female warrior had to step out of their home. Her hormones were often full of anger, taking out her voice on anyone who dared cross her and the healer was often the backend of it. But for Jake’s sake she stepped out for some air.
“We can get rid of it” they were words that were most unexpected, the voice harsh and yellow eyes glared into her own watering ones. Jake and his wife did not want a child from her, they did not need one, he had one on the way and another is one that he just can not and will not take care of. “Mo’at should have something to abort it, go to her”
She’s never stuck up for herself against them, not after the first time. Fear kept her on her knees and she never once talked back. But she had to this time, the words almost forcing themselves out of her.
“No”
“No?” Jake stepped up to her and raised a brow when she didn’t back down.
“No. I will not” her English was heavily accented but was understandable, she brought her hands to her belly as if to protect the growing life from the incoming punches, not wanting her baby to be subjected to the same abuse.
“If you grow that thing we will have nothing to do with it” Jake turned and walked out. His point was made and his statement was clear. They were not her mates and had no custody over her child. ___ held her hands over her mouth as she whimpered quietly, the pain in her heart grew every day and the stress of her incoming pregnancy weighed her down.
They did not celebrate or announce her pregnancy to the clan.
Mo’at was confused, Jake was most happy to shout it out to the whole moon of his future child with Neytiri, why is he not doing the same with ___? Every time she tried to ask the clan leader he seemed to dodge away from her, avoiding any chance to talk. She will get to him for Eywa’s sake.
But if he and her daughter will not speak, she will go to their sweet mate. The Tsahìk found her by one of the rivers near Hellsgate, a small human boy situated on her lap as she spoke to him in both English and Na’vi, pointing at the fish swimming by their feet. Mo’at smiled at them, keeping her steps silent, she has heard of the rowdy boy living amongst the scientists, but has yet to introduce herself to him.
She made a small chirp as to alert them and watched as ___ moved her head back to see who it was and when she saw, her eyes lit up. “Ma Sa’nok, come” she beckoned the woman over and patted the spot next to her. Spider watched as the other lady sat down next to them and took notice of the many beads on her, reaching a tiny hand out to touch one that dangled by her side.
Mo’at chuckled at the child, silently asking ___ if she can pick him up. Once she got the go ahead the elder held him as if he was any other Omaticayan baby, letting him explore the garments she wore. “I thought you would be here, but I did not anticipate another”
“He is Spider, ma sa’nok. One of the children the humans look after” ___ chuckled as the toddler put a bead in his mouth, shooting the women a giggle when they cooed at him. “He is sweet, yes?”
Mo’at could not help but agree, nodding her head as she took one of her hands and placed it against her daughters stomach, right where the tiny bump was. “It has not been announced. Lumpe?” she gave ___ a critiqued look as she awaited an answer.
The woman sighed and watched the fish in the water swirling between her feet, “we have decided to keep it private, for my sake. You know I dislike being in the spotlight like that” she lied and it was obvious. ___ winced as the elder reached up to pinch the tip of her ear.
“You cannot lie to a Tsahìk, we see all” Mo’at glanced out into the forest, watching as the leaves swayed in the breeze and the insects crawl on the trunks of the trees. “I ask again. Why?”
“If you see all, then surely you must know” her ear was pinched again. Yellow eyes connected and ___ sighed, she was afraid to tell her mother in law the truth, afraid that once she did she would be deemed a liar and outcasted by her too. “They did not want too…they do not see my baby as theirs. They do not see me as theirs…” she whispered finally, deciding to let it out into the open.
“I knew it. The bruises, the way they never look at you, they do not care for you. And this? This is them failing to see” the Tsahìk growled but quieted down when the boy in her arms shifted, looking up at her with wide eyes. She patted his head and turned back to ___ who quickly wiped her eyes. “I will speak to-“
“Kehe. I do not want this getting out of hand”
“You need help ma ‘ite” but the woman was insistent, begging Mo’at to let her sort it out on her own. With this baby they will eventually see reason.
They both hoped what she said would be true.
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“What did I say?!” Neytiri shouted at the other woman, hissing in her direction and pointing to the basket of beads “you do not touch those! You will NEVER touch those!”. The beads in question belonged to Sylwanin, her dead sister. ___ thought she could just look through them and find a bead for her baby, she knew it was what her old friend would have allowed and have been honoured by.
“She was my friend…” the woman whispered, ears down, hands placed on her swollen belly, rubbing soothingly as to hopefully calm the movement. Na’vi babies grow fast and already Neytiri was nearing the end of her pregnancy with only less than a month left. Not long after ___ would give birth to hers, but for now they continue to turn and kick, responding to their mama’s words and touches.
“She WAS your friend! Not now! Not any more! But she was and will be my sister! Even after death! You have no one, not anymore” Neytiri picked up the basket and placed it on the far end of their home, by their hammock and away from ___’s. Ever since Mo’at found of her conditions, she made sure a suitable bed was given for her to sleep in, a floor was no place for a budding mother.
___ softly cried, her emotions getting out of hand, she picked one hand off of her stomach and wiped her dropping tears. Sylwanin was like a sister to her too, she deserved to have something on her in her memory. Like the bracelet that was on her wrist, the one that they made together as children.
It was as if the warrior could read her mind because she stalked up to the woman and grabbed her arm, eying the beaded string wrapping around the appendage. Neytiri wasted no time and grabbed it as hard as she could, pulling it and watching as the tiny bits of stone clattered around the floor, dropping the twine that weaved through them. “She is not yours to honour! How can you after all that happened?!”
___ cried harder, soft sounds turning into loud sobs as she fell to her knees and tried to pick up the pieces of what was left. “No! Why?! Why must you do this?!” her words earned her a shove to her back from a foot pushing onto her chest.
Neytiri screamed at her “YOU KNOW WHY! You do not deserve happiness! Do not deserve that thing inside you!” having enough, the tsakarem left, climbing down the tree with her fathers bow, going to hunt to cool herself down. If she stayed she did not know what other damage she will do towards the woman.
“Sylwanin, I am sorry” the woman stayed curled up on the floor weeping, looking at one of the beads on the floor in front of her and taking it into her hand, holding it close to her heart. She could not deal with this pain in her heart any more, she needed to take her mind off of it. She could not see spider in this state, the boy, despite a human, has grown significantly. He is already the age of two years and is able to have short conversations with her. If he saw her upset he will become sad too, and she hated to see him sad.
___ carefully got up from the floor, sweeping the beads and taking the broken string, moving to place it inside a small satchel she had in her side of the room. The pregnant woman wobbled over to the entrance and pulled it back, sighing and descending slowly to the forest floor. It was hard for her to move and most days she spent inside the hut, even when Jake’s harsh words made her upset. He called her lazy, yet do not understand the weight of her stomach and the swollen ankles of her feet. Her belly was large, far larger than what was normal for an Omaticayan baby and she was worried for the child’s health, Mo’at says they will be fine though, so she entrusts everything to Eywa’s will.
___ waddled into the forest, only carrying her knife and her thoughts. It was not time for eclipse so she could go to the tree of souls and back in time for bed. She will skip the communal dinner and eat what is left over. She knew it was not healthy for the child she carried, or for herself, but she does not have the will in her to face her supposed mates.
The jungle seamed to glow in the daylight when the Na’vi strolled past, the grass softly swayed beneath her feet and syaksyuk glanced to her in curiosity, swinging away once they have had their fill. She smiled at a mother holding her young, giggling when the baby tried to get closer to her so the Na’vi stopped.
Once the creature neared her it tapped her swollen belly twice, looking at her and running away when their mother hooted for them to go. Smiling at the small interaction she carried on with her journey, it was almost like the great mother is blessing her. The small syaksyuk lifted her dampened spirits until her mind wondered back to the broken bracelet and she sighed, ears turned down once again.
The tree of souls was beautiful, even in the daylight. It’s white tendrils moved and pulsed with energy, almost as if it was greeting her. ___ walked closer and took out her queue, letting the nerves tangle with one of the hanging branches of the tree. Her pupils dilated as she was sucked through the eye of Eywa, coming out of the end of the tunnel and being faced with Kelutral. Her old home.
“And what are you doing?” a little voice sassily scolded behind her, small hand tapping her back thigh and prompted ___ to turn around. The woman’s eyes watered at the sight of a younger Sylwanin, a few years younger than the day the RDA took her life away from her.
“Sylwanin” she tried to squat but found it too hard to properly hold the position so she resorted to sitting down, her hand held her friends own as the girl cocked her head to the side. “It has been too long”
“Srane. Too long indeed. Your tummy is big” the child pointed out and placed a small hand on top of it, feeling the movement of the babe and grinning. ___ was not able to see Sylwanin at the tree since she found out about her pregnancy, Neytiri made sure about that.
___ giggled at her, cupping her face and kissing her forehead. When her eyes opened she was met with the yellow of an older girl, one who was both mature and wise. “Syl’, Neytiri poe -“ the very thought pained her and the pregnant woman squeezed her eyes shut, heart heavy with grief and stress. “I do not understand why - I am sorry” she started to sob, shoulders shaking at the weight of it all.
Her friend held her wrist in her hand and examined it, blood and forming blisters caked it where the bracelet was pulled. ___ wiped her eyes clear, sniffling. She did not notice it before. “You have not been treated well. My sister is being a kurkung” Sylwanin hissed in anger, using her thumb to brush away the rest of the tears that fell down the others face. “But you do not have to be sorry for her mistakes”
“I feel like I had to apologise”
“There was no need” she kissed the wounded wrist and ___ felt no pain, just a soft pressure and a feeling of comfort spread through her body. “You can always make a new one, no? Or better yet, name them after me” she chuckled and pointed to her friends tummy.
___ grinned and rolled her eyes “Sylwanin is a silly name, there is no need” and at that, the mentioned girl pinched the tip of ___’s ear. She let out an ‘ouch!’ and glared playfully, she was exactly like her mother.
“My name would be great for your child, I would have forced Tsu’tey to name our own after me”
“Poor Tsu’tey” ___ laughed louder when Sylwanin slapped her arm. When the joy dulled down, the heaviness of the world came crashing onto her, the mood swings elevating her emotions. “Syl’ I do not think I could do this any longer” she cried out once more, tail thumping the floor and ears pinned to her head “they would treat my baby with harsh words and neglect, that is no way for a child to live…I cannot do this without you. I wish you was here. I wish I still had the bracelet” her eyes produced fresh warm tears that ran down her cheeks. ___ missed Sylwanin with her whole heart and when Neytiri broke her accessory, it was like ripping into her chest and squeezing until she stopped living.
The older Na’vi cupped her face, eyes doe and smile filled with understanding “ma tsmuke, I am always with you. Bracelet or not. I am apart of Eywa. I follow you wherever you go, I see you wherever you turn, I am with you ___. Even if you do not see me”
“I see you sister, Oel ngati kam -“ a sharp pain stopped her watery words, her hand instantly clamped down on her abdomen, breathing ragged. What was this? Another sharp punch and what felt like water ran down her legs. No. It was too early.
Panicked she looked up at her sister who looked as calm as ever, reassuring her frightened body with just a glance in the eye. “You are ready to become a mother. Just breathe ___. Breathe”
Her eyes blinked open and she inhaled sharply, she was back under the tree of souls, no Sylwanin in sight. Another kick in her tummy made her release a shout. She held onto her friends words, like an anchor at the back of her head. She breathed in deeply and let the air out slow.
It was time.
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