#James: but then that would be cancelled out by last Friday??

[kairospy]

Barty: so are you a top or a bottom?

James:

Regulus:

Barty: ….

James: your sex life sounds so boring

[rosyrosethings]

King Harry and the Nanny

Summary : Harry and the nanny get snowed in together

Smut, fluff, daddy kink

Y/N seamlessly transitioned into her role as the live-in nanny, balancing her online studies with caring for Anastasia and James, who quickly grew fond of her. She took on the position after the previous nanny had an accident and couldn't continue, and Y/N was a natural fit due to her prior experience with the royal family. King Harry was welcoming and kind, in stark contrast to Queen Charlotte's reserved and distant demeanor. The Queen rarely interacted with her children or Y/N, maintaining a cold and detached presence.

The royal family planned a trip to the Netherlands for a special event. Queen Charlotte was attending a summit for influential women in Ireland and was scheduled to join the family in the Netherlands later that evening. The event was a royal wedding that spanned the entire weekend, starting with a Friday afternoon tea party, followed by an adults-only royal dinner on Friday night, and concluding with the wedding on Saturday. The children would not attend the wedding but would spend Sunday with King Harry and Queen Charlotte for a family day.

On Thursday evening, as a fierce winter storm unleashed its fury outside, Y/n, Harry, and the children were engrossed in a movie night. Harry momentarily stepped into the kitchen to answer a phone call, leaving Y/n cozy on the couch with James and Anastasia. They were absorbed in the movie—James fixated on the screen and Anastasia, with her blonde curls that echoed her mother’s beauty, softly snoring on Y/n’s chest.

Harry returned from the kitchen with a solemn look. Seeing Y/n look out the window biting her lip. Worry is written all over her.

"I've just received word that the Queen won't make it out tonight because of the storm. And it seems we're in for a long haul; the storm's expected to last the entire weekend. The entire wedding has been canceled. Looks like we're stranded here until Monday," he announced.

Y/n nodded slightly not too bothered by the fact that she snowed in, in a multi-million dollar home.

James's eyes lit up with a hopeful glint as he turned towards Y/n. "Does this mean you're staying over tonight, Y/n?" he inquired.

Harry was well aware of the special bond that had formed between James and Y/n, owing much to her being the most youthful nanny they had employed. James often went out of his way to pick flowers for her and would ask with anticipation about when she would come by again, always referring her to stay at the guest house nearby or even in his room with him. Harry loved to see her be so natural with his children. A mother love isn't something that they have truly experienced. Charlotte being very cold and distant.

Y/n hesitated for a moment. "I have to get back to the guest house —" the house she was told she would stay in when the kids were with their parents.

"In this storm? That's not happening. It's far too risky," Harry cut in, settling into a seat noticeably closer to her than before.

"It's really dangerous, Y/n," James added, his small tone and serious demeanor caused Y/n to giggle.

"But it's just a short walk away," she countered, it was on the property about 200 feet away and she liked this position

"Y/n, you'll be staying here tonight. That's final," Harry stated, his voice resonating with a kingly authority that sent a shiver of excitement through her.

"As you say, my king," she replied softly, meeting his gaze. Her eyes slightly looking up at him. A thrill raced through her at his assertive yet protective stance. In that moment, Harry could see a subtle shift in her, a newfound respect and perhaps something more, sparked by his firm but gentle command.

Y/n adjusted her long white maxi skirt, the fabric flowing gently around her. Her white sweater, slightly too large, draped elegantly off one shoulder, revealing a hint of her brown skin—a stark contrast to the pristine fabric. Anastasia, finding solace in Y/n's warmth, nestled her head against Y/n's shoulder, causing her to tilt her head slightly to accommodate Anastasia. This unintentional pose gave Harry an unobstructed view of her neck, a sight that unexpectedly stirred something within him.

Harry found himself in a complex emotional landscape. The queen, his wife, hadn't been engaging in their intimate life, often cutting their moments short, leaving a chasm of unfulfilled desires between them. This growing distance in their marriage had begun to affect their connection, gradually eroding the love and passion that once defined their relationship. Engulfed in his royal duties, Harry realized it had been months, years even since he experienced a genuine, affectionate touch, a realization that now, in Y/n's inadvertent display of vulnerability and grace, ignited a longing he hadn't acknowledged in a long while.

"James, I believe it's time for bed," Harry announced, noting the time was already 10 PM. James immediately turned his pleading green eyes towards Y/n, knowing full well her weakness for his adorable gaze.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty, but a little more time surely couldn't hurt," Y/n responded, mirroring James's imploring look towards Harry. Harry, feeling his resolve crumble before those brown eyes.

"All right, one more hour, but that's the limit," he declared with a tone of finality. James's face lit up with a grin, and he nestled himself snugly between Y/n and Harry.

"I really enjoy movie nights with you Y/n!" James exclaimed joyously, his declaration drawing a light laugh from Y/n. It wasn't long before the late hour took its toll, and James drifted off to sleep, using Y/n's lap as a pillow while her fingers tenderly massaged his scalp.

"I'll take James to his room, and you can see to Anastasia. Afterwards, I'll show you where you'll be staying tonight," Harry suggested. Y/n nodded, gingerly rising to not disturb the sleeping children. As Harry gently scooped James from her lap, Y/n took Anastasia in her arms, carrying her to her bedroom—a nursery befitting a princess.

"Goodnight Anna, I will see you tomorrow." Y/n whispered laying her in the bed. The girl snuggled into the bed. Y/n walked out of the room. The sound of the storm wind getting louder and louder. Harry walked out of James room which was right next to Anastasia.

"Right this way," The king said as he led Y/n to the room across the hall. He opened the door

"Everything required for your comfort is available here—there's clothing and a private bathroom for your use."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," she replied, offering a bow and then straightening up, her demeanor respectful yet warm.

Harry lingered in the doorway, a thoughtful look crossing his features. "Is there anything else you might need?" he inquired, his posture casual yet clearly showing he was attentive to her needs.

"I believe I have everything, thank you, my king," she responded, turning to face him fully, her expression one of genuine appreciation.

Harry chuckled lightly, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "I should warn you, my son might be overly enthusiastic about your stay. He might even pay you a nighttime visit. He's quite smitten with you, Y/n."

She couldn't help but smile at the thought. "That's very sweet. It's an honor to be held in such high regard by a prince."

"It's not hard to see why," Harry observed, taking a small step closer, which seemed to diminish the distance between them more than physically. "You've brought a lot of joy into our lives. The children are happier, and I must admit, joining in for movie night with you and the kids was a first for me. You've made quite an impact."

As Harry closed the gap between them, Y/n found herself looking up to meet his gaze, a flutter of nervousness in her stomach. His proximity and the warmth of his words were overwhelming.

"It's simply part of my duties, Your Majesty," she replied, her voice steady despite the quickening of her pulse, dipping in a small bow in gratitude for his kindness.

Gently, Harry lifted her chin with his hand, encouraging her to look at him directly. "When it's just us, please, call me Harry. Formalities seem unnecessary, don't you agree?" His voice was soft, almost inviting.

Y/n managed to steady her nerves, though the gesture sent a ripple of anticipation through her. "Of course, Your Maj...," she began, only to be met with a raised eyebrow from Harry, his hand still gently cradling her chin. "Harry," she corrected herself, her heart skipping at the informal address.

Harry's smile widened, pleased with her calling her Harry. "I hope you have a good night, Y/n. And should you need anything, don't hesitate to wake me."

"Thank you... Harry," she said, the name feeling both forbidden and thrilling. The brief rebellion of dropping the formalities added an unexpected intimacy to their interaction, leaving her heart racing as he finally withdrew, leaving her to the quiet of the room and the storm outside.

Once Harry left. Y/n took a shower and slipped into a silk nightgown. The sound of the storm was keeping her awake. She didn't really like storms. She looked out the window to see the raging snow storm while she laid in bed. Hoping she will be tired enough to fall asleep.

In the quiet of the night, a soft knock and the sound of sniffles. Y/n who still has not been sleep. She was reading a book on her phone. she quickly rose to investigate, finding James at her door, tears in his eyes.

"James, what's bothering you?" she asked, bending down to his level with concern.

"I had a nightmare, and my night light won't work anymore," he sobbed. Y/n offered a comforting nod.

"Let's go see if we can fix it," she suggested, leading him back to his room. After placing James on his bed, she examined the night light and tightened the bulb, which immediately restored its comforting glow.

"All set," she announced, moving to sit beside him on the bed.

"It's time to try and sleep again," she added gently.

"Thank you, Y/n," he murmured, settling back into his pillow. "Could you sing to me?" he asked, his voice small. Y/n nodded, kneeling beside the bed to be closer as she began to sing "Once Upon a Dream," her fingers softly combing through his hair until he drifted off. She stood, her smile lingering, only to startle at the sight of Harry in the doorway, his appearance unexpectedly striking without a shirt.

"You scared me, Your Majesty," she whispered, her voice carrying a hint of surprise as she edged past him, quietly closing the door.

"My apologies, love, I didn't mean to startle you. I was just admiring the way you handle everything with such grace," Harry said, closing the distance between them slightly. Y/n, caught off guard, darted her gaze away from his bare chest, acknowledging his compliment with a shy nod.

"Eye contact is usually expected when speaking with the king, especially in conversation," he remarked, his tone authoritative yet tinged with humor. He enjoyed the slight fluster his presence invoked in Y/n during their private exchanges, taking pleasure in the way her nervousness made her even more endearing. Y/n looked up at him.

"Im sorry, Your majesty." She said, she stated looking up at him. The moonlight illuminating his green eyes.

"Harry." He said correcting her. The storm raged on hearing a branch hit the large window. Causing Y/n to step closer to Harry in fear. But they were already close. Harry immediately put his arm around her with a chuckle.

"It appears James isn't the only one a bit wary of the storm," he observed, the warmth in his voice and the protective embrace offering comfort amidst the tempest outside.

"I am sorry Your-. I mean Harry." She said, tried to take a step back even though she liked to stay in his arm. But Harry had her. She couldn't move. "Storms kinda make me uneasy I haven't been able to sleep all night." She said, as she looked up at him.

"You haven't been able to sleep? It's almost 4am." He said looking down at her. He could see the tiredness in her eyes.

"Join me—you won’t be frightened, and I need my nanny alert and attentive," he offered. While Y/N did yearn to share his bed, her desires extended far beyond just sleep.

"Harry I can't do-." Harry pulled her closer. They were chest to chest and centimeters away from one another.

"None of that. you're sleeping with me in bed. It wasn't really a question. More of a demand from your king." He said with a slight grin. Y/n couldn't help but smile at him.

"Umm, okay." She said softly, Harry took a step back and opened the door to his bedroom. Y/n walked inside standing on the side of of the bed. Harry close the door behind him and walked to the other side of the bed getting in the bed. He looked up at Y/n.

"Please, make yourself comfortable," Harry encouraged, noticing her hesitation. Y/n finally nodded, climbing into the bed and carefully staying on her side of the bed, her back rigid as she faced the ceiling, aware of every small movement.

Harry, noting her stiffness, turned on his side, propping his head up with his hand. "Are you okay?" he asked, his tone laced with concern as he sensed her tension.

"Yes, I'm fine," Y/n replied hastily, her voice a touch too swift to mask her inner turmoil. Harry shifted closer, the subtle brush of their legs sending a shiver up her spine. As he hovered above her, his gaze intense and probing, Y/n met his eyes. The proximity was overwhelming—every glance, every small gesture he made, seemed to intensify her longing for him. It felt as if with each moment, her restraint was being tested, pushed to its very limits, like water rising perilously close to the brim of a glass, ready to overflow at the slightest touch.

"You seem a bit tense," he noted, his face mere inches from hers, his breath warming the silent air. "I'm actually quite the cuddler," he whispered, slipping his arm under the blanket and around her waist to draw her closer. His head nestled against her shoulder, his face buried in the crook of her neck, his arm securing her against him. Y/N remained rigid, overwhelmed by his pleasing scent and the softness of his skin. The sensation of his breath on her neck was almost too much to bear, her excitement nearly reaching its peak.

"Is this okay?" he murmured, his lips brushing her neck, sending a wave of warmth through her. She couldn't find her words. She just let out a small "mhmmm" in response. He chuckled and started to trace up and down his side with his fingers.

”You smell so pleasant.” He said, the tip of his nose slightly going up and down her neck.

”Thank you Harry.” the slight movement of Harry's hand relaxed her body and she was super tired. Exhausted she had been up all day with James and Anastasia since 6 am. Harry distracting her from the storm.

"You seem exhausted love, tell me about your day." Harry said, trying to relax her.

"Well, first I had to wake up super early to make sure I get to the Castle on time because me and my roommate have to plan accordingly to shower because our hot water goes out fast. So we have to shower 2-3 hours in between each other. Then I get to the castle and Anastasia wouldn't stop crying til I found her favorite babydoll while I was trying to get her packed accordingly for the trip. Which I could not find anywhere and our flight left in a couple hours..." she continued to rant about her day. Relaxing more and more as Harrys hand went up her shoulder. His fingers traced over the spaghetti strap.

"Mhmmm." He said encouraging her to keep speaking. Harry listening to her intently. She went on about the kids and how they weren't up for learning time today.

".. then the sound of the wind whistling and branching falling creeps me out and I just haven't been able to sleep but now it feels good to just relax." She said, Harry noting now she relaxed. Her body relaxed not as stiff.

"Im sorry you had such a long day, how could I make it better?" He asked, her eyes fluttering close as his hands made their way down her side. His hands still tracing her body.

”keep doing that.” she felt as if she was melting. His face was still in her neck. ”I think I can help a bit more.” he said slightly before placing a Tinder kiss on her neck. Y/n bit her lip as he continued to kiss down her neck. His mouth made its way to her collarbone. Pampering her with kisses. Causing a slight moan from Y/n. He gently let the strap off her shoulder pulling it and making his way to her breast. He licked his lips before taking her nipple into her mouth. Her moans were like music to his ears. His tongue flicked and swirled over her nipple.

”do you like that?” he asked looking up at her as he continued to lick on the nipple. He saw a slight nod.

”Use Your words when I ask you a question.” he said, as he sat up and started to pull down the other strap.

”Yes, I like it a lot.” she responded, and he smiled. ”Good girl.” he said as he slid her other nipple into his mouth. His hand made his down to to her nightgown. He pulled up the fabric till his hand found a way to her inner thighs. His hand found what he was looking for. Immediately met with wetness.

”Mmmm, so wet already. You got this wet for me be baby?" He said, his hand sliding over the wet fabric between her legs. Her moans a bit louder.

"Yes Harry." She mumbled out. Her eyes closed enjoying his touch. His fingers applying slight pressure to her clit, causing her to moan a bit louder. "Ohh you like that?" He asked, before doing again slightly. Letting out a another moan. Him enjoying the pleasure he brought her. Its been so long. He didn't realize how much he missed it till she was underneath him moaning up his name. He looked up at her and leaned down to kiss her lips softly. Y/n who was melting in his touch felt like she was going to have an orgasm already. His lips perfectly matched with hers. His tongue slid in her mouth.

He removed his hand from her. "Lets get this off you first." He said pulling down the gown off her body. Leaving her just in her panties. "You're so beautiful." He said looking down at her and her body. She looked up at him. Her fingers hooking on the waist of the pajamas pants pulling her towards him. He complied and her lips met his. Moving in sync as he grind his hips in between her legs. His hard cock pushing against her wet pussy. His lips still not removing from hers. She loved how his mouth felt on hers.

"I do love to kiss this little mouth of yours but right now I want to kiss something else." He said as he scooted down on his knees. Pulling down her panties. She lifted her legs up and watched as he pulled panties slowly down her legs to her ankle over her foot and threw the off the bed. His hand on her ankle. He placed kisses from her ankle to her inner thigh. His face now in between her legs.

"You have such a pretty pussy baby." He said kissing the other inner of her thigh. "And you're dripping wet for me." He added, as he pulled her hips closer to his face. He immediately did not waste time stuffing his face in her pussy.

Y/n looked down at him as she put her hands in in his hair. "Harrrry." She moaned. Her hands holding tightly on his hair. He let out a moan in response. He pulled away from her pussy.

"You taste so good baby. I can eat this pussy all day." He said as he slid a finger in her pussy. Thrusting the finger in and out her pussy. His tongue finding its way back to her clit. His fingers moving fast. With his tongue was becoming too much for her. He continued to lick down to her ass.

"Fuck Harry." She moaned. He tongue continued to travel up and down to her ass. Up to her pussy.

"Harry.." she moaned out slowly. His face deep in her pussy. Harry moaned in response knowing she was going to cum.

"You wanna cum baby? Hmm wanna get these pussy juices all over me baby?" He said his fingers moving deep inside her.

"Yes daddy. Im gonna cum." She moaned out. She grabbed Harrys hair rightly as she came. Harry licked up her pussy. He crawled up to her and kissed her. His tongue exploring every inch of her mouth. Her body limp but she kissed back enjoying his mouth and her taste. Harry enjoyed being called Daddy. Since he has never been called that before.

"Can you fuck me now?" She asked her voice barely a whisper. Her eyes looking up at his. The tiredness still in her eyes.

"Who would thought my little nanny is such a little slut for her king." he said with a smirk. Her blinks lasting longer each time. She had slight goofy grin.he chuckled laying down on his back. Pulling her over to him.

"Rest, my love. You are weary." He said, she snuggled into his side. She looked up at him.

"Are you sure? Im not Ti-." She said, Harry cut her off.

"Shh sleep you go." He said as kissed her forehead.

//

The next morning Y/n woke up to day light. A bit confused on the time. She looked around she was in her room. Memories of the night before flashing before her. The king went down on her last night. Her hand went over her own mouth in shock.

"Was that a dream?" She mumbled to herself. No it seemed real. Her thought going back and forth. She wasn't in his room. She was in her bedroom. She reached over and grabbed her phone. Seeing the time was 12:45pm. Almost one.

"Fuck." she mumbled. She quickly got up and ran to the bathroom getting ready as quick as she can. Once she was ready she went downstairs where she heard the kids.

"Y/n!" James yelled from the living room. Harry in the living room playing with Anastasia. He ran up to hug her.

"Hi James!" She engulfed him in a hug.

"You slept for so long, daddy said it was because you were afraid of the storm." James said, stepping back to look her in the face.

"Did he say that?" Y/n questioned

"Yes, so if you get scared again tonight. I will sleep with you. I will keep you nice and protected.” he said standing up straight. Y/n smiled her heart warmed by his intention to. protect her.

”I know I could count on you James. If I get scared tonight I know who to call." She said tapping his little nose.

"Nanana!!" Anastasia mumbled reaching for Y/n. Y/n walked over to Anastasia gladly taking the toddler into her arms.

"Good afternoon Y/n. The kids have been waiting for to wake up. I told them not to disturb you. You needed all your rest after yesterday." He said with a slight smirk. he said to her as she took a seat next to him. She smiled at him Slightly.

"Thank you You're majesty. " she said, interrupted by Anastasia clapping her hands together.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Y/n had made lunch and dinner. Even the kids helped make cookies for dessert. Which both turned into two messy children. Harry took the children up for bath and put them down for bed. The king had been acting normal but last night memories were on repeat in her head.

Was it a dream? And how the hell did she end up in the guest room? Y/n rolled up her sleeves. Cleaning up the mess left in the kitchen. She washed the dishes. Trying to piece together the pieces. She was just sooo tired last night that she was slept like a brick. She thinks Harry may be coming back but he doesn't come back for a while. She continues cleaning struggling with her thoughts.

"Do you need help?" Harry voice rang from the kitchen.

"N-No I got this your majesty. You just go get ready for bed." She said looking down at the dishes she was washing. Too shy to look at him. His beauty too much for her. He is still the king. She cant feel this way about him no matter how handsome he is.

Harry walked behind her. His hands found there way around her hips. His head made it way to her neck and he started to kiss down her neck.

"Am I making you nervous?." He asked,

"Your majesty I-." He cut her off

"Its Harry." He said in his authoritative voice. She but her lip in excitement. She likes when he tells her to call her Harry. She turned to face him.

"but you're distracting me from cleaning." She said looking up at him.

"Well you distract me from everything. Seeing you being so good with the children does something to me. I love seeing it but now its my time to have you all to myself." He said placing his hand under chin kissing her lips softly. She kissed back.

Here’s a revised version of that scene:

---

"Y/N!" James called out as he came running down the stairs. Startled, Y/N instinctively pushed Harry away, causing him to stumble back into the kitchen island with a thud.

She quickly stepped out of the kitchen to find little James standing at the bottom of the stairs, rubbing his sleepy eyes. Harry let out a pained "oof" as he steadied himself against the counter.

"What’s wrong, James?" Y/N asked, crouching down to his level, her concern evident.

"I want to sleep with you," he mumbled, looking up at her with those big, irresistible green eyes. Y/N, who could never say no to him, felt her heart melt.

"James, Y/N still has some things to finish, and it’s already past your bedtime," Harry said as he came out of the kitchen, rubbing the small of his back where he’d hit the counter. James turned to Y/N, his eyes instantly filling with tears, his lip trembling. Y/N shot Harry a look that clearly showed her displeasure.

"Actually, James, you can sleep with me," she said gently. "How about you go wait for me in my bed? Then maybe Daddy can read us a bedtime story."

James’s face brightened immediately, his earlier distress forgotten. "Okay! I’ll wait for you!" he exclaimed, dashing back up the stairs with newfound energy.

Y/N turned back to Harry, her expression shifting to one of concern. "I’m so sorry, Your Majesty!" she exclaimed, quickly moving to his side. He chuckled as she fussed over him, inspecting the spot where he’d hit the counter.

"Oh, so now you push me, and clearly James is your favorite. What about me?" he teased, a playful glint in his eyes that made her giggle.

"You, my dear, are my King," she replied softly, pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

Harry smiled, the warmth of her affection soothing the dull ache in his back. "I’ll hold you to that," he said with a wink, the tension between them easing into something more tender and comfortable.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Hurts Like Heaven

Fandom: Ted Lasso

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x F!Reader

Summary: You and Jamie were nothing more than friends with benefits…then Jamie realizes that the way he feels for you is more than friends.

A/N: inspired by the song I Think I Like You by The Band Camino

You and Jamie had been friends for a few years. You met through Keeley and he'd tried to get into your pants after they'd broken up. But girl code meant you don't sleep with your friend's ex unless they say it's okay.

Years later, he and Keeley still aren't together. It originally saddened Jamie, however, he learned that he valued her highly as a friend and he eventually lost feelings for her.

That's when you came in.

Jamie didn't feel ready to get back into serious dating, but he also didn't feel like going back to random hook ups like his early days. That's when you suggested a friends with benefits relationship.

The suggestion surprised Jamie, especially since you rejected him a few years ago.

You rolled your eyes at him, "Yes, but I've gotten Keeley's permission to sleep with you if I chose to do so."

His brows rose, "I'm sorry, what? When did this happen?"

You shrugged like it was no big deal, "Like a year ago."

"So you're telling me we could've been fucking for a year now?"

You snorted, "I didn't think you'd still be interested."

He grinned at you, "Oh, I'm still very interested."

It was nice. He thought the arrangement would change things but it didn't. He still texted you about the things Jan Maas said or a new song that Dani introduced him to. You two would facetime for hours while he was at away games until you both fell asleep. He used to be a man of not many words, but he found himself never shutting up in your presence.

You grabbed lunch or dinner when you could and instead of going your separate ways, either one of you followed the other to your respective homes and you had sex.

Some days, you didn't have sex at all. He'd come over with take out and you two would watch a movie. Or he'd help you cook dinner while you're both singing Harry Styles' lyrics at the top your lungs. He felt so happy and at peace with you.

It was great. It was nice...until you told Jamie that someone had asked you on a date.

"It's fine. We're not dating or nothing, so why would it matter?" he asked you when you broke the news.

You shrugged, "I dunno. Guess I-nevermind. I'm going to cancel our movie night on Friday then."

"What? Why?"

"That's when my date is. Unless...I cancel it?" You looked at Jamie like you were hoping for...something. What you were hoping for he didn't know, but he shook his head, "No, no. It's fine. Could probably go to the pub with the lads or something." He then pointed a finger at you, "But you let me know if he does something that makes you uncomfortable. I'll pick you up. Just say the word."

You nodded and give him a smile, "I know. Thanks, Jame."

________________

It's the night of the date. Jamie has been on edge the entire day and he's not exactly sure why. You'd sent him your outfit for the date and you...you looked beautiful, sexy, gorgeous. There was a pit in stomach when he realized that you'd never dressed up for him like that. Why would you? You two are only friends who also sleep together. Nothing that would warrant you to put much that effort...but Jamie wanted it.

Fuck, did he want you to dress that way only for him, to take you on dates and call you his girl.

Holy fuck, why did he have to realize this all too late?

Even when he went to a club with the lads, he couldn't stop thinking about you. He kept checking his phone every five minutes to see if you'd messaged him. The last thing you sent was you telling him the restaurant you were at and he'd sent you a thumbs up.

He stood at one of the standing tables, nursing a beer and just watching the crowd. His teammates were drinking and dancing with women, except for Colin who was dancing with his boyfriend, Michael.

Getting a bit anxious, he pulls his phone out again, looking at the thread of texts between you and him.

"Are you alright, Jamie?" Sam asks above the club's music.

Jamie sighs and pockets his phone, "I'm gonna step out for a bit!" he shouts back and Sam responds, "I'll come with you!"

They take their beers and head out to the back patio of the club. The music is still loud but not as much.

Jamie lets out a deep breath, letting the cool air encompass him. Sam nudges him, "What's going on?"

Jamie chuckles to himself, "Think I'm in love, Sam," and then winces.

Sam cocks a brow in confusion, "Why do you look so pained then?"

Jamie sighs and runs a hand through his now brunette hair, "It's complicated."

"Is it Y/N?"

Jamie's head whipped to Sam's direction, "How the fuck did you know that?"

Sam can't help but laugh, "You don't hide it very well when you're with her. You're...happier with her."

He scoffs, "'M not so happy now, am I? She's on a date right now."

"Why?"

"Some bloke from the IT department asked her and she asked me how I felt about it and I said it was fine. That her going on that date doesn't matter 'cause we're not exclusive or nothin' and now I fuckin' regret it 'cause I fuckin' love her!" after his mini rant he looks back as a smug looking Sam, "What?"

"I think the solution to your problem is very simple, Jamie."

"Yeah? And what's that."

"Tell her."

He's immediately shaking his head, "No. No. I can't. I can't. It'll ruin everything."

"I don't think it will."

"How do you know?"

"I don't, but I have a strong feeling it'll be okay."

Suddenly, his phone is buzzing and your contact photo is staring up at him. He looks up at Sam and his teammate is grinning at him, "Tell her," he says before patting Jamie on the back and heading back inside.

Jamie nods and answers your call, "Hey, you alright?"

"He was a complete prick! He yelled at our server because his pasta wasn't al dente and complained about me eating too much bread."

"Pft. You love bread."

"I love bread so much!" you sigh, "I'm having uber me drop off because there was no way in hell I was getting in the car with him again."

Jamie frowns to himself, "You should've told me. I could've picked you up."

"I texted you ten minutes ago and you didn't respond!"

Jamie curses and pulls back his phone going to the text thread to see you had texted him, "Shit. Sorry, love."

"It's fine. You can come over after your night with the boys."

"I'm leaving right now. Wasn't very exciting anyway. Want me to grab some food?"

You groan, "Yes, please. That meal wasn't satisfying enough."

Jamie finds himself smiling, "Alright. I'll be over in a bit. Get comfy for me."

"Waaaay ahead of ya. Tossing the dress in the hamper as we speak and pulling out my comfy clothes. Shall I pull yours out as well?"

"Please."

"Got it. See you in a bit, Jame."

"Right. Bye." After he ends the call, he heads inside to say his good-byes to his mates. Sam is giving him a knowing look and a "Good luck" as he walks out of the club.

___________________

Half an hour later, Jamie is letting himself into your place with the spare key that you gave him. He places the takeout on the coffee table in front of you.

"Go eat. I'm gonna change."

"Thank you!" you holler as he walks down the hallway to your room and where you've laid out a pair of joggers and a t-shirt for him. He quickly changes and heads back to your living room where he sees you shoveling your face with the food he's brought.

He's smiling wide as he sits beside you, "Good?"

You nod, "Soooo good!"

He grabs your remote and plays the movie you picked, "Guess we ended up having our movie night after all."

You snort, "Shout out to Liam for IT for being a prick, I guess."

Jamie stills. His brows furrow and you see he's thinking hard about something. You set your food down, pause the movie, and turn to completely face him on the couch.

"What's going on?"

"I realized something."

"Okay...is this a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Depends on how you take it, I suppose," he turns to face you as well, "I...I think I like you more than I should."

"Meaning..."

"I'm in love with you. I think I have been for a while now but it just didn't hit me until you were out with that prick-"

"Liam-"

"and all I could think about tonight was losing you. I hate that you looked absolutely gorgeous for someone else. I hate that it was him taking you on a date and not me. And I hate the thought of someone else being where I should be."

You chuckle, looking away and shaking your head, "Jamie Tartt," and this is when Jamie prepares to be rejected by you, "took you long enough."

Oh. Oh. That's not something he expected.

"So, uh, so you-"

You lean in pressing your lips against his and when you pull away you're smiling, "I love you too."

"Oh. Great. Cool. That's-That's good."

You laugh, "Did I break you?"

"Maybe?"

You laugh more and he's smiling again. Your laugh is music to his ears and it's filling him up with so much warmth and love.

You pat his knee, "Alright, loverboy, let's continue this movie night , yeah?" you press play and you grab your food. You curl up into Jamie's side and he relishes in your warmth while you feed him some of your food.

A day later, Jamie posts a picture of you sitting across from him at the same restaurant you went to with Liam, with the caption: Dinner with me girl <3.

His comments littered with applause and congratulations from his teammates and fans. They all love you, but Jamie loves you the most.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

First Date

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: none at all fr fr except idk first date jitters???

Genre: fluff central

Summary: Your first real date with your former fake boyfriend; "I'm just scared of what you think // You make me nervous so I really can't eat" ~ First Date by Blink 182

A/N: This is technically part 2 to Nervous but order is arbitrary fr

***

The following Friday Bucky is at your apartment just before 7 o'clock trying to convince himself to knock on your door. He knows he has to because you otherwise won't come out and that would be awful because even if every muscle in his body is tensing up at the thought of this actually happening he does really want to take you out. The only problem is that standing in your hallway it feels like a dream he had long given up on is coming to fruition and he's starting to wonder if maybe he's not ready for this. It's too late for that now though, he's meant to pick you up in 2 minutes and he'd rather lose his other arm than upset you by canceling last minute no matter how anxious he is.

"If she didn't want this. She wouldn't have agreed." Bucky tells himself, steeling his nerves. He raises his fist and raps on the door far more confidently than he's feeling at 6:59:37. He knows because he checked his watch. Barely a minute goes by before you swing open the door with a soft smile.

"You're right on time. Hi Bucky." You say. Bucky freezes up as he takes you in. You're wearing a crop top and faux leather pants with a matching jacket. Bucky told you casual dress was fine so you wanted something cute but practical. Bucky can feel his brain short circuit as he looks at you. Just compliment her! 

"Punctuality- matters. We should get going." He says instead of anything charming. The sentences come out chopping and strained and he almost outwardly cringes at himself.

"Alright, well lead the way James." You say, pointedly ignoring the tense undertone in his words. You're not sure what that was about but you can't imagine drawing attention to it will help. Bucky nods and walks you down to his car where he opens your door and lets you in before he jogs over to the driver seat and slides in. It only takes another moment before he's pulling out of your parking lot and cruising down the streets.

The ride there is pretty quiet, which is fine. You're trying to guess where he's taking you anyway because he refuses to tell you. It's not until you see the big neon sign as he turns into a parking lot that you finally crack it though and you can't help but chuckle quietly as he parks the car. It's been such a long time since you've been to one of these.

"Bowling?" You smile at him.

"I've heard how boring you find regular dinner dates." Bucky shrugs. It's true you much prefer activity dates, but you're curious how he'd know that already. He gets out of the car and rushes over to your side to open the door for you. The two of you head inside and get set up with a lane and a pair of bowling shoes. You both are quick to grab bowling balls and start the game. You're always down for some friendly competition and honestly, it'll be nice to do something you haven't in a while.

A few rounds in though makes you painfully aware of how little Bucky has said since picking you up and it's starting to get to you. If you get excited over a strike or point out the score he'll offer a little smile and maybe a couple of words but he's not actually conversing with you. When you commend a particularly good round on his end he just nods a 'thanks'. Not to mention he's hardly looking at you which isn't a big deal exactly but in combination with the lack of talking it feels very awkward. Especially for a first date. Who bowls in silence?! About halfway through, you stand up before Bucky takes his roll.

"I'm going to get some food. Do you want anything?" You ask him.

"Oh! Let me get it. What do you want?" Bucky puts down his bowling ball and jogs over to his jacket draped over one of the chairs.

"A slice of pizza and some lemonade." You say.

"On it." He nods dropping the jacket and walking over to the food counter. You sigh to yourself as you plop back in your seat to wait for him. You can't understand why he's being so quiet but this date really can't continue this way. When Bucky returns with your food and drink he hands them to you quickly. You barely mutter thank you before he goes back to his jacket, presumably to put his wallet back in the pocket he fished it out from.

"You know Bucky, you've barely said anything to me all night. I've been on some pretty awkward first dates before but never ones where my date avoids looking at me." You stand and walk over to where Bucky is now lining up his roll.

"I'm not avoiding looking at you." Bucky says. 

"If this has been your idea of being present with a date you are more out of touch than I thought James." You muse. Bucky sighs and turns to you, finally looking at you properly. He's silent for a moment, just looking at you before he speaks again.

"You know when you talk to people you look at them so intently. It's like you could uncover their every secret in the time it takes them to finish whatever sentence they're saying."

"Is that why you wouldn't look at me?" You ask.

"I'm already terrified of saying the wrong thing. When I look at you it feels as though you can hear my every nervous thought. As if you'll-" Bucky's words seem to get stuck in his throat as his brows knit together.

"As if I'll what?" You prompt.

"Be able to see me the way I see myself." He mutters.

"You- don't want me to see you the way you see yourself?" You frown.

"It wouldn't end well if you did." He shakes his head.

"Well, why don't you let me decide how I see you? And in the meantime, you should just- be yourself. Trust me you're way worse off if you don't speak to me the entire night than whatever you're so scared of." You tell him. "Right now your worst crime is sucking at bowling."

"Hey! I'm doin pretty well."

"I mean I'm beating you pretty bad so-" you walk back over to your seat where you'd left your pizza.

"You're distracting." He mutters.

"I'm distracting?! You've been avoiding me in all ways but physical Bucky. How could I possibly be distracting?" You ask.

"How many times are you going to make me say how nervous you make me?"

"I dunno, how many times would it take for you to stop being so nervous?"

"More than is reasonable for you to say."

"You'd be surprised how far I'm willing to go actually." You tell him, taking a bite of your pizza. "I just want you to relax Bucky." You say before you drop your pizza plate back on the chair.

"Easier said than done." He muses.

"I'm sure. I mean up until a week ago I thought you hated me- so there's a learning curve for us both. But you can't expect me to not get to know you. We're on a date I mean-"

"I know." He mutters quietly, though you can't hear him as you keep rambling.

"Dates typically involve a lot of getting to know people. You're lucky we're not complete strangers-"

"I know." He tries again but you're still going.

"Otherwise I wouldn't even bother with this I would just never see you again but I like you and I want this to go somewhere but you have to try, and sometimes that's gonna mean stepping out of your comfort zone and if you can't do that-" Bucky grabs you by your shoulders and yanks you towards him until your bodies are flush, his head tilting down and connecting your lips. Your eyes widen for a moment before closing, surrendering to his kiss. It's strong, unyielding, so much like him and finally, for the first time since you got here you get a glimpse of the man you're familiar with. When he pulls away your eyes flutter open.

"I know, y/n. You're right. I'm sorry for being so awkward." Bucky says and you shake your head.

"You don't have to apologize. I just want tonight to go well." You say softly.

"So do I! So much so that I-"

"That you're too scared to talk to me?" You chuckle.

"It- sounds silly when you put it like that." He muses.

"It's okay. As frustrating as the silence is I think it's cute that you're so..."

"Insecure?" He scoffs.

"I was going to say shy." You roll your eyes with a laugh. "I don't think it's insecure to care about what you say to a date, but I do think you worry far too much. You're not under evaluation." You say.

"I'll- try to relax." He says.

"Great, now hurry up and roll your ball so I can wipe the floor with your cute ass." You smile.

"Oh-ho-ho don't get too confident there sweetness. Relaxing means I'm definitely going to beat you." Bucky says.

"I mean you can tryyyyy but I'd keep those expectations low if I were you. I'm currently doing way better than you."

"We're barely halfway through the game, you're counting your chickens too soon." He smiles sweetly.

"You're talking a lot for someone who still hasn't finished his turn." You shrug. Bucky shoots you an incredulous look that has you laughing as he walks over to the lane to roll for his turn. Now, if you can keep him this relaxed for the rest of the night then this date is going to be every bit as amazing as you could hope for. Even on the off chance he beats you at bowling.

***

[thatbanditqueen]

Basic Training Chapter 7

Mad love to my alpha @whositmcwhatsit seriously your editing and feedback make this so much better. Also love and special thanks to my lovely elvis coven, @vintageshanny @ellie-24 @be-my-ally @peskybedtime @from-memphis-with-love @missmaywemeetagain @powerofelvis @be-my-ally @shakerattlescroll @lookingforrainbows and to @ab4eva for her sweetness, you were the only person to ask me about Bess on tumblr between now and the last chapter and I was like oh, I guess someone is still reading this. Which is good. Because I am still writing it. ;)

Thanks to everyone who reads this, shares, reblogs, leaves a comment or whatever. I write for myself, but I publish for community, and I don't think I could write with out your support and friendship.

Summary: Bess resigns to get over Elvis and move on, but he has other plans.

Warnings: Not much, depictions of mental illness/delusion.

WC: 6.5 K

If you need to catch up Chapter Six: Guided Missiles or the masterlist here Basic Training

Click here if you prefer to read on A03

Chapter 7: The Minefield

12:15 p.m., Friday,  April 24th, 1958

Commissioned Officer’s Mess

Army Intelligence Training Unit, Fort Hood, TX

“I thought you were applying to law school?”

Bess let her straw drop out of her mouth to meet James’ concerned stare across the mahogany table.

“Um, I changed my mind.” Her eyes dropped back to her chocolate egg cream and she paused for a moment. The sound of glasses clinking and hushed conversations reverberated through the Army Intelligence officer’s club. “I kinda dropped the ball on writing my sample essay. And,ugh, I haven't been able to focus at all on studying for the entrance exam.” Bess trailed her shoe anxiously across the burgundy carpet, she hated admitting that she had given up on lawyer school. “It’s just temporary, a temporary pause.  No, for now, I think a year or two working for the state department is the best next step. I’ve always wanted to spend time in Europe..”

“But Helsinki, Bess?” James reached over to comfort her with a hand squeeze, but she pulled loose and went back to eating her pot roast lunch.

“Finland is a stepping stone.I could be working in Berlin next summer. And Helsinki has a lot of international action. It’s right next to St. Petersburg.”

“This sudden need to go to the coldest burg in Europe wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain tall, dark soldier who’s been doing extra laps around the barracks every day, would it?”

Bess lifted her thick, white cotton napkin to obscure the blush spreading up her cheeks. “I saw that he’s had extra PT, I’ve been wondering what happened.”

“Oh? I thought for sure that was all you and your front office connections, getting back at Presley — “

“Jameson, I would never abuse my position in the Front Office for revenge. You know how basic training is. Drill sergeants use any excuse to tear you apart just so they can build you back up again. He probably was late to inspection, or maybe he tried to protest extra push ups, and now it’s marathon time everyday til he’s learned his lesson.”

“Hmmm, must be. Though I don’t feel even the teensiest twinge of sympathy for him after that stunt he pulled on you? Think it would look suspicious if he got run over by a jeep? In his barracks?” James winked at Bess/

“Ha, just say you made a wrong turn.” Bess chuckled, but her smile quickly faded into a sigh.

She speared a potato with her fork, looking at it as if it had the answer to life’s secrets like a magic eight ball. Maybe all she needed to do was turn potato over and around until it revealed her fate. Sadly, no messages turned up, and she laid it back on her plate. 

“Thing is, I knew he had other girlfriends. I just wished he’d called and canceled our plans instead of leaving me hanging to find out another way. The most humiliating way.”

“Maybe he couldn’t get away to call? Or forgot your number? Have you seen him at all?”

Bess shook her head, sipping her drink again. “Uh uh. But I’ve been avoiding him. What am I supposed to say? It hurt my feelings that you put the kibosh on our night together for a pajama party with one of your steady girlfriends?“ Her eyes met James. “But, uh, he knows my number, though. He called that Monday, after she left town. And several other times.”

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know, I have Kay on switchboard duty. She has strict instructions to inform male callers that I’m not home.”

“You oughta talk to him, honey, let him have it.”

“I’d rather not, I  - I, it was, uh. The whole thing felt so icky, I never want to feel that way again. It took me back to last summer and Be. Except, this time, I’m the other woman and I know all about his girlfriend back in Memphis.” Bess put down her fork, unable to eat anymore.  “I think my picker is broken, James. I’m destined to be alone.”

“But are you supposed to be alone in Helsinki?”

“I’m actually excited to be single in Helsinki.” James raised his eyebrows. “What? The city is is pretty hip!They just hosted the Olympics. Lots of people live there from all over the world. After Berlin, it is one of the top hubs for working with the Ruskies.”

“Ok, ok, I get it, you hussy, you’ll probably be able to play patty cake with an assortment of good looking European men. I just can’t believe you are abandoning me, it’s so selfish. I’m almost ready to swear I’ll never buy another Presley record.”

“I’m not leaving because of him!” Bess huffed at the way James arched his eyebrow higher and straightened her napkin over her skirt. Aggressively. “I swear, how many times do I have to tell you, he’s just helped me get the perspective I needed. The straw that broke the camel’s back. I gotta get out of this place before I wind up like Mabel.”

 James sniffed as he motioned to the waiter. “Mabel seems happy, could be worse.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not. But you might be out of here before me. I only just sent in my application materials, you know how these civilian posts can be. If I make the first cut, I still have to do a round of phone interviews,an in-person one, a thorough background check. Why, I probably won’t head out until the summer. If I get it.”

James quirked his mouth and whistled when they stood to leave and shook his head.

“Seems like such a waste to store all your resources behind a desk. Should be out, serving our country at USO shows.”

Bess slapped James shoulder, then straightened his jacket, smoothing her hand over his medals.

“Jameson, stop. Do you talk to the debutantes back in Rhode Island like this? You know, half the officers in here are probably my father’s spies. Keep whistling at me like that, they’ll convince him we’re an item.” She grabbed her purse and put her gloves back on. “Besides, I am not exactly the type who likes performing or attention.:

He looked her over once again, making an exaggerated show of appreciation for the way that Bess’ smart tweed pencil skirt hugged her hips.

“Oh, but that’s what makes you such a knockout, Bessie Girl. Why don’t we get married, huh? We could travel the world together, life would never be boring. We’d have great looking, smart kids.”

Bess put her finger to James’ lips, looking into the hazel eyes that glimmered below his perfectly coiffed honey blonde hair.

“I wish I could. I can’t marry someone I don’t love, not in the way I love you anyway.It’s no good, we’d end up ruining our friendship.”

James slid his arm through Bess’ as he led them out of the officer’s club. “I suppose you’re right, Schwartz, but if you ever get desperate and want to be married to a dashing officer who’d never leave you for another woman, the offer stands.”

“This is no time to be getting married, Jameson. I’m sure you’ll want to enjoy the local flavor in Heidelberg.”

“Hmm, yeah, no matter the gene pool, it’s gotta be better than this dump.”

Bess smoothed her hair once they were outside and turned to James. He looked so handsome in his dashing officer’s uniform, cap under his arm. He was probably the best looking, wealthiest man to ever propose to her, even in jest. She really would miss him once they left Fort Hood. Bess gripped James arm tighter before they parted, and smiled.

“No kidding, I can’t wait to put Fort Hood and Elvis and everything in my rear view mirror. Get a fresh start in gorgeous, romantic Helsinki-town, city of dreams.”

“I thought that was Paris?”

“Nope, pretty sure it’s Helsinki.  Though I understand why you’re confused, Helsinki is the Paris of the Baltic Sea.”

“No one calls it that.”

“Sure they do, I’m starting it now.”

James smiled, fixing his uniform cap back on his head. “Ha, ok. Well, as they say in Helsinki, au revoir.”

*********************************************

Bess’ fresh start suddenly seemed a million miles away when she glimpsed Elvis Presley running round the base. It had only taken a few minutes after she got into her father’s Oldsmobile before she recognized Elvis’ tall, perspiring figure jogging around the circular track behind the PX. There he was, in his sweat-soaked tee-shirt, dog tags jingling over his chest, running towards them in the dusk of sunset. 

It struck her for a moment how odd it was for the drill sergeants to have him do laps out here on the road near the gate instead of closer to the 37th tank division. They must be making a public example of him, she thought, having him do laps out here as people drive past on a main road out of the base. 

It was working, he looked absolutely miserable and exhausted. The cold grimace he had fixed on his face pulled on Bess’ heartstrings, and she felt a compulsory urge to go comfort him. But then she remembered why she’d cut him loose, and nodded to herself, reaffirming how wise she was protecting herself from further heartache. It wasn’t easy. 

She got so captivated watching him take off his cap and wipe his forehead as they got closer, that she suddenly realized he was about to run by her car and had to quickly duck down flat against the bench seat to avoid being seen.

“Ilsa, whatever are you doing?”

Bess popped up with a squeak, looking over her shoulder at Elvis’ figure running away behind them, then stuttered to her father. “I, um, I dropped my lipstick on the floor is all, Papa.” 

Dinner was pleasant enough. Mama served tuna noodle casserole and followed it with a cherry cream cheese jello mold. It was comforting to Bess to think these were recipes any other family on the block might be eating tonight. Though she doubted whether the other mothers were wearing a matching red dress and explaining the deep meaning behind the color red, and how powerful color it is, one that can provide all the strength and nourishment they needed. Bess did concede that cherry Jell-O tasted like what she thought the color red might taste like. 

And if a lecture on the spiritual nature of red Jell-o was the most occult Mama got tonight, then tonight was a good night. 

After eating, Bess changed into a more comfortable, simple light blue house dress, and was trying to calculate how long it had been since Mama had one of her episodes as she walked downstairs, when she heard Kay on the phone.

“Well, no Rex, I guess I’m not doing anything. Well, sure, gee whiz, yeah, I know a few friends who’d flip their lids at the chance. You bet, meet you there at 8!”

Bess turned the corner at the bottom of the landing, and gripped the polished circular handrail as Kay spun around with a wide, beaming grin. Her sister halted suddenly and tripped forward with a gasp when she caught Bess’s stare.

“Was that Elvis’ bunk mate, Rex?”

Kay gulped. “Mhmmm, I did like you told me, and said you - you weren’t home.”

Bess crossed her arms. “So what, now you’re going out with them?”

“Well, I - he - I heard Elvis tell him to invite me and any other friends to meet them at the movie theatre on post. It’s, it’s, not a date, it’s a group-like thing.”

Bess took a deep sigh. Miles Davis wafted out from behind the closed door of their father’s office at the back of the house, and she could hear her mother doing the dishes. Bess had come down to help clean up, and had planned to spend her Friday evening at home. She thought she might read or watch TV, play a game of gin rummy with Mama. Anything to take her mind off of Elvis. And now here her sister was, running out to go meet him!

“I cannot believe he invited you out.”

“And why is that? You’re not the only charming, good looking girl around here, Bess.”

“That’s not what I was saying, Kay. What kind of guy invites out the sister of a girl - a girl - a girl he’d been riding around with? You aren’t seriously thinking of going? What about Dickie?”

“It’s not like that. Cuz,  - it’s - it’s not a date. Why, they’re getting a gang together. Rex said I should bring some other girls. I’m about to call Carol and Tracy. If you think I’m gonna deprive them of the chance to meet Elvis Presley, you got another thing coming. Why, you always keep him all to yourself.” Kay huffed, and put her hands on her hips. “It’s not a date. You could come if you wanted, you know.”

Bess squeezed her hands into tight fists, squelching her sudden intense desire to slap her sister.

“You know exactly why I won’t be doing that, I told you how things went with him and you are smart enough to know he is probably doing this to upset me. And you’re helping him! My own sister. Kay Brutus Schwartz.”

Kay’s face fell, and she met Bess in the middle of the hallway. “It’s not like that at all. Please don’t be mad, Bess, but me and my friends, we have all his albums. You can’t hold it against me for wanting to go. It’s not like I asked, he - ” 

Bess brushed Kay’s hand from her shoulder and stomped off in a huff, her anger powered her through an incredibly fast cleaning session in the kitchen.

Mama dried the last plate Bess handed her, then put her arms around Bess at the sink. “See, Bessie baby, all that red Jell-o gave you the energy and focus you needed. I’ll get you some red silk underwear for your new job, I saw some in the Montgomery Ward catalog. Or were they red flannel long johns? Well, you’ll need both in Helsinki.” 

*********************************************

Bess had frowned as Kay traipsed out the door to meet her friends when Carol pulled up in her mother’s yellow DeSoto. At first she took her book upstairs and sat at the window, watching for Kay’s return around 10 p.m. 

By 10:30, she had moved to the porch, where she sat up on the bench hugging her knees and trying to read while she waited to catch her sister and pump her for information outside where their parents wouldn’t hear them. 

Yawning, she was just straightening the bows on her white house slippers when she turned to see a car pulling up in front of the house. But this was not Carol’s mother’s yellow DeSoto. It was a white Cadillac. And she made the mistake of looking up long enough to note the row of guys in the back seat and make eye contact with Elvis as he parked.

Fuck, Bess muttered to herself staring back into her book, unable to focus her eyes on any of the words. In her periphery, she watched Elvis jump out and race around the front of his car, loosely putting his arm around a giddy, smiling Kay as he walked her up the path to the front porch. 

Bess took a deep breath, accepting that there was nothing she could do, that she was stuck out here with her hair in a messy bun wearing a house dress and slippers. So, she braced herself and stood to confront the most famous man in the world. 

The cool night air was no comfort to the heated temper rising in her chest as Elvis walked up the stairs in front of her, his fingers now spread over Kay’s shoulder. His eyes narrowed, and a smirk played over his face.

“Hellooooo there Bess, ain’t you sweet, coming out here to greet me.”

“Hmmmm.” Bess nodded, curtly, exhaling at Kay’s sheepish grin.

“Well, I enjoyed our date tonight, Kitty Kat, didju?” He gave Kay’s shoulder a rub and Kay laughed nervously at his nickname, glancing back at Bess as she untangled herself from Elvis’ grip.

“Oh, well, it was a gas to meet you and the whole gang,” Kay made a show of waving at the car, “Tell Rex thanks for the Coke and candy.”

Elvis ran his hand through his hair.“Uh, well, I wudda bought you all the Cokes you wanted, I just -”

Bess interrupted him. “Let me guess, you forgot your wallet?”

 “Yeah, guess that’s happened before.” Elvis chuckled. 

“Ahem, Kitty Kat is it?” Bess raised her eyes at her sister. “Probably time you were in bed, little girl. I have a few words I need to have with your date, here.”

Kay coughed and avoided Bess’ intense look of death as she thanked Elvis for a fun night. He grabbed her hand, making eye contact with Bess over Kay’s shoulder and he hugged her sister and gave her a soft peck on the cheek. Kay hung in his embrace for several beats, then scuttled away to leave Elvis with Bess’s cool stare

“You have some nerve.”

Elvis took a step toward her, “Aw, Bess, now see, when you act like this it makes me think you still like me.”

“Is that ri-ight?” Her voice wavered as he took a step toward her with his shoulders back, head forward, rubbing the back of his neck. She stumbled back a few steps, distracted by the way his eyes pierced her from under his eyebrows.

“See, you actin’ like ya jealous, honey. But you ain’t playin’ fair.“

“Really. I don’t play fair?”

“Uh uh.” Now he was hovering over her, backing her into the front of the house, his lower lip hanging open as he leaned over her. “You play hot one day, then cool the next. Won’t take my calls, but now ya jealous. Playin’ games s’what it is, and I can’t stand chicks who play games.”

“Ha!” Bess had meant her declaration to be a lot more forceful than how it came out as a muffled breath into the dark, red fisherman’s sweater Elvis was wearing. Of course! Of course his sweater was red. It sucked all Bess’ strength right out of her. And her resolve. She tried for dear life to hang on to the painful embarrassment that had punched her in the gut when she met Anita.

“You’re - you’re - you had - you’re the one who -”

Elvis’ hand was at her waist, and his thumb pressed over her belly button.

“Sshhh. I know, I missed our date.”

Bess mumbled toward her shoes. “Well, I wouldn’t call a party in a cheap motel room a date by any me-“

Elvis’ pursed his lips in a grin as he brought his other hand to Bess’ cheek, his eyes gleaming as she shivered in him. He tilted her chin to meet his eyes. Bess tried to shake him off, but couldn’t, she was spellbound by the pair of dark blue eyes above her. 

She reminded herself that there was an audience of grown men watching them from his back seat. Then she thought she saw the curtain at the front window ripple and realized Kay was probably leaning against the wall inside, spying on them. She thought about how Elvis had invited her sister out, at the very least to get her attention, or at worst, to make her jealous. She thought about how she had sworn to her best friend hours ago that she never wanted to see Elvis Presley again. She tried to grasp at all these things and more as Elvis stepped closer to her, and shifted his arm over her against the wall. But suddenly thinking was very difficult. Elvis’ thumb circled the button at the waist of her cotton house dress.

“OK, ok,well, when you say it like that, sounds awful. Definitely weren’t no date. Still, Kitty Kat told me how upset you’ve been. And I know I shudda called you.” Elvis took a deep breath, and coughed. “ And, well, that gal came down and surprised the hell outta me, is what happened. I didn’t invite her, now that’s the god’s honest truth. But, well, put me in an awful bind and I couldn’t get away to call you. Wudda much rather spent the weekend with you, Moo Moo.”

His breath was warm on her neck, and the way he murmured her nickname was like a sultry saxophone solo. Bess closed her eyes as it rolled over her body, giving her goosebumps. His whisper was full of vulnerable need and Bess couldn’t believe that she actually felt bad for him, as if she were to blame for everything.

“I - I - I’m sorry.”

“Nah, honey, I reckon, if I’m honest with ma self,  you have every right to be sore at me. But you havta give a man the chance to defend hisself. Tell me now, don’t a man deserve a chance to splain?”

There was his thumb, gliding over the front of her stomach, rubbing back and forth.

“Really, I wasn’t trying to play games.”

“I know, Moo Moo. I know’d you weren’t really like that, else I wouldn’t be here.” He leaned in, pressing his open lips to the corner of her jaw, soft and delicate as he continued his whispers. “Though I don’t know if I could stay away even if you were the devil, baby. Ain’t been able to stop thinking about you.” His mouth was warm on her neck. “You, and only you.”

His touch sent a wave of feverish heat through her body, and Bess didn’t care if he was lying, all she knew was that she would willingly go back to his motel room with him right now in her flimsy white house slippers and all. However, before she could make that suggestion, she heard the front door open and she jumped up instantly, pushing Elvis away at the sight of her father’s silhouette in the dim porch light.

“Elizabeth, it’s cold out tonight. Why don’t you invite your guest inside?”

Bess swallowed hard, glancing up at Elvis, whose cool demeanor and friendly smile belied the fingers she could see tapping against his thigh through his pocket. She looked out at the car, then up at the dark sky, shaking her head to herself.

“ Hi Papa, this is, uh - ”

Elvis stood up straight and jerked his hand out as he strode to shake her father’s hand.

“Uh, good evening, Sir, I’m Elvis, Elvis Presley.”

“Yes, I’ve been expecting to meet you for some time now.” Bess’ mouth dropped open. Before she could find the words to protest, her father was putting his arm around Elvis and guiding him inside. “I understand you and Ilsa have been spending a lot of time together, jah?”

*********************************************

“Can I pour you a whiskey?” The table lamp flickered as Bess’ father walked by, his calm words trailed behind him on his way to the bar. 

Elvis sat at the edge of the couch patting his hand to a silent rhythm and then bouncing up again to pace over to the hi-fi set.

“Naw, jus a Pepsi - or a Big Red, honey.” Bess glared at him as he looked up at her from where he perched in front of the record player. “Bessie. I mean, Eliz-a-bess.”

Bess frowned as Elvis popped open the concealed door in the sound system’s speakers and proceeded to rifle through her father’s LP collection. Her father arched his eyebrow, muttering in German that the boy seemed to know his way around and feel quite at home, jah? Bess was asking Rex and Lamar what they wanted when Mama floated into the living room, swaying the skirt of her red dress back and forth, a dreamy look in her face. Bess froze, looking around the room, then scuttling over to her mother and latching her arm around Mama’s waist, whispering in her ear.

“Mama - Hi Mama, I thought you went upstairs to relax?”

The boys all stood up as Mama patted Bess on the shoulder. “Bess, you’re making the lamps all buzzy, stop buzzing around and introduce me to your friends.”

Bess sighed and then froze when Elvis walked over and took her mother’s hand, kissing the top.

“Evening, ma’am, I’m Elvis, Elvis Presley, s’a pleasure to meet you, I can see where your daughters get their good looks from, if you don’t mind me saying so.”

Mama giggled and blushed. “Ha, well, you are charming. The faeries told me Bessie had a new beau, but they didn’t say he was handsome.” Bess’ face went white as she tried to guide her mother to the big orange leather chair in the corner, but Mama swatted her hands away. “Bess, I said to quit fussin’. Go get our guests something to drink.”

Every cell in Bess’ body was on high alert, and she rubbed at her throat trying quell the nauseous, tight feeling that now plagued her stomach. Bess had not brought Ben, her former fiancee, home to meet her family until he had asked her to marry him. At that point, they had already been going steady for two months, she had trusted Ben completely and had given him a thorough debriefing on Mama and the family dynamics. She had known Elvis a month. ANd spent the last two weeks hating him.

Elvis returned her mother’s hand and flashed Bess a warm, crooked reassuring smile. Rex and Lamar gathered next to him making their awkward introductions, before Papa walked over and offered Mama his hand, tilting his head at Kay. 

“Come sit with me, Emily, let the boys relax. Katherine, you get the drinks.”

Bess followed Kay into the hall. “I’ll get it, Kay, I -uh - I was gonna make Mama a special cup of tea - “

“I got it, I know how to do it. You go back in there.” Kay winked, and left Bess to sigh as she took a deep breath and resigned herself to face whatever was waiting for her in the living room.

Elvis sat on the edge of the couch trying to stop his knee from bopping up and down with the palm of his hand, already in conversation with Bess’ father.

“Jah, I started off in the German division, but now I oversee all intelligence training.”

Elvis’ eyes widened and he seemed grateful to see Bess walk back into the room and hit Lamar to clear the seat next to him on the couch. Bess shook her head and sat at the piano bench, trying to think of how to change the subject.

“Papa, I imagine the boys are tired after a long week and - “

“Oh Bessie, don’t send them away!” Mama waved her off as she got up and happily plopped into the clear spot next to Lamar, shooting Bess a playful frown. “You never bring friends over any more, it’s a breath of fresh air having young people over. Want any leftover tuna noodle casserole?”

A momentary grimace passed over Elvis’ face as he declined, and Bess' father coughed.

“Too bad we don’t have any meatloaf, perhaps zat would have suited you better.”

“Actually, mister, I’m bout plumb fed up with meatloaf, EP’s been ordering - “ Lamar stopped talking at the sight of Elvis’ eyebrow, arched in warning. 

“Well, Bess makes a great meatloaf, you boys will have to come back for dinner sometime. I’ll get her to cook it up for you.” Mama bowed her head with certainty as she spoke, turning Elvis’ hand over in her lap as if to read his fortune. “Elvis, such an unusual name. What does it mean?”

“Ugh, well, ma’am.” Elvis scooted back against the arm rest, turning in to face Bess’ mother more directly. “I have been told it means someone who is uh, very wise.” He winked over at Bess as she rolled her eyes. Kay returned, and she bounced up to assist in handing out the drinks. 

“I’ve never heard the name Elvis before tonight, is it common where you’re from?”

Lamar gasped. “You never heard ‘a Elvis?”

“No, why, should I? Do you all work with Henry in Intel?” 

Elvis shook his head. “No, no ma’am, Rexadus here and I, well, we’re new recruits, and Lamar right here is jus’ a ole friend of mine, visiting.”

Mama smiled big. “Oh, well, if you think I would have heard of you from Bess, you have another thing coming. She’s a sphinx, that one, never tells me anything about anything.I have to get all my gossip from the wind.”

“Elvis is a famous performer, mama. They’re surprised you’ve never heard of him because he is on the radio. And the movies.”

“Oh, is that true? Would I know any of your music?”

Just then, the phone in Papa’s office began to ring and he stood up to excuse himself, muttering in German that he would hardly call it music. Bess exhaled a chuckle at the curious look on Elvis’ face. 

“I’m guessing that weren’t a rousin’ endorsement from ya daddy,huh ?”

She shook her head, and Mama clucked.

“Oh, Henry didn’t get enough red food tonight, don’t mind him. You know, you’re not the first song and dance man I’ve met. When I was a girl - “

“-I met Eddie Cantor when he sang at Zeyde’s theatre on Coney Island.” Bess and Kay exclaimed in unison with a grin.

Bess relaxed as the room filled with warm laughter and she almost felt like they were a normal family, teasing and chiding each other as they entertained guests.

“Oy, well, it’s true, you boys have heard of Eddie Cantor, haven’t you?” Mama grinned at their nods, and took it as her cue to keep talking between sips of tea. “Well, I was just a kid when he was first making it big in New York. And my father had this vaudeville theater, and we met all sorts of acts working their way up the circuit. Baby Rose Marie, Bert WIlliams, Jimmy Durante, and, of course, a lot of nobodies trying to be somebodies. Eddie was probably the most successful guy to come through our place. Boy, was he handsome! Tall, dark hair, those big gorgeous eyes, like two rounds of chocolate.”

“Mama, zey ton nisht veln tsu hern vegn deyn shule meydl krashiz.”

“Oh, Bess thinks I shouldn’t share these things. She thinks I’m an old lady, that I don’t have blood pulsing in my veins. But I’ve always appreciated a good looking man.” Mama patted Elvis' knee. “Still do.” Then all of a sudden she swayed into Elvis' shoulder, her eyelids fluttering before she slumped on his shoulder.

“Ma’am? Ya ok? I’ve had girls swoon before, though they usually heard a me.”

Bess jumped up and looked over at her sister. “How much did you put in her tea, Kay?”

“Just a tablespoon.”

“It’s supposed to be a teaspoon!” Bess growled through clenched teeth as she felt her mother’s pulse, and tried to unfurl her mother’s arm from around Elvis’ shoulder.

“I’ll take her up - “

“Aw, honey - s’ok, want me to - “

“ - Well, it was an easy mistake.” Kay hovered behind Bess, and stomped her foot.

Mama’s eyelids fluttered back open for a moment and she looked up into Elvis' face. “You know, you have a beautiful aura, Alvis, I can tell you are a good person - Bess, if you don’t marry him, I will.” 

Bess gulped, and looked at Kay. “Help me get her up the stairs?”

Before they could do anything, Elvis lifted Mama and nodded at Bess. “Jus lead the way, ‘k Bess honey? Boys, y’all go on out to the car, and we’ll get outta ya hair ‘fore you say lickety splickety.” 

Lamar sighed with relief and could not get through the hallway fast enough, almost knocking the telephone off the little desk as he passed. Rex, however, hung back, gathering up the bottles of pop and taking them to the kitchen behind Kay, looking back to nod at Elvis in a silent offer to help. Elvis shook his head and followed Bess up the stairs.

“Alright, now, Mrs. Schwartz, ma’am, ya gonna be snug as a bug in a rug, jus you wait.”

Elvis set Mama down in her bed carefully, gently taking her hands and placing them at her sides. Mama opened her eyes and trailed her fingers over the sharp edge of Elvis' crew cut, smiling dreamily as she asked “Almond” if he would marry her.

“Ya so sweet and beautiful, I would, I would  if I could, ma’am.”

Tears welled up behind Bess’ eyes as she watched the tender way Elvis kissed her mother’s cheek and squeezed her hand before she passed out. They exchanged a long look, and Bess blushed.

“I’m sorry you had to see all this, I’m so embarrassed. You didn’t have to stay and help me - “

Elvis rubbed her shoulder. “Honey, I wanted to help, I like helping folks. Ain’t nuthin to be shamed of. Really Moo Moo, wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to. An getting to spend my night with the prettiest lil gal in town, why, that’s just the icing on the cake.” His face scrunched into a big grin as he held her, and bess nodded into the comfy wook of his red sweater.

Elvis stood in the doorway, watching curiously as Bess took off her mother’s shoes and tucked her under the large, homemade victory quilt that they had sewn from old clothes during the war. It was the only blanket Mama would sleep with, and for Bess, it evoked that time in her childhood when Papa was overseas doing things he couldn’t talk about and Mama was the strongest woman she could imagine. 

Now, as she looked down at her mother and smoothed hair out of her face, it was Mama who resembled a little girl, finally relaxed and at ease as she started to snore. Her sleeping face free from the cares and mysteries of the world. Bess kissed her mother on the forehead, and turned to find Elvis waiting for her in the doorway. His blue eyes seemed to penetrate her soul, as his thumb rubbed the side of her shoulder.

“Holdin’ it all together, ain’t ya Moo Moo. I see you. I really do.” 

Bess shuddered at his touch, wiping the side of her eyes.

“I, um, I. Well, you caught us on a bad night, Almond.”

He chuckled, drawing her into his arms and kissing the top of her forehead.

“Nah, ain’t nothing bad about anything.” The sides of his crinkled as he smirked. “Almond, huh. maybe ya mama there is on to sumpin. Might sell more records and movie tickets if I changed my name to Almond instead. Tell you what, wudda made it harder for the Army to find me.”

“Yes.” She took his hand and led him back down the stairs.”Though you would have missed out on your freel vacation here at beautiful Fort Hood.” 

They were back on her porch, and Elvis was clasping her hand tight. He looked out at the darkness, and at his car on the street, then over the garden, before turning back to hover over Bess, hands resting at her waist.

“Wudda missed out on meeting you, honey. Ya my silver lining. Tonight, being here with you, I know it now for certain that fate brought us together.”

Bess turned her head to listen to the crickets, wondering if they had any advice on how to defy fate. Especially when fate distracted you from all common sense by nuzzling your forehead. 

“Elvis - I - “

His lips were at her ear as he drew her closer. “Aw, Moo Moo, I cain’t bear to think I made you cry. I mean it.” His thumbs rolled up and down Bess’ sides. ”I promise, ain’t ever let that happen again. I swear. Cuz I need ya, honey, been thinking ‘bout you all the time.”

Bess couldn’t resist the way his eyes lit up with hopeful vulnerability, it made her feel like she was the one who had wronged him by withdrawing her company from him. 

“I  - I think about you too.” She cupped his cheek. “I’ve seen you doing laps every evening, are you doing okay?”

Elvis huffed and pinched her side. “Oh, yeah, you know me. Every morning, those drill sergeants find a reason to be cross at me, makin’ me do extra PT. But ain’t nothin I can’t handle.”

Bess nodded. Then Elvis’ hands tightened all the way around her, constricting her so tight she almost couldn’t breath, before parting with a soft, chaste farewell kiss and a vague promise to call her the next day.

Bess was humming to herself as she turned off the porch light and locked the door behind her, stopping short when she saw her father come out of his office.

“Everything ok, Papa?’

“Jah, jah. That was just the secure line, a call from D.C.” He straightened his sweater, coughing as he took in the dim quiet of their house. “Ze hound dog has run off, I take it?”

“He’s not so bad, you know.” Bess shifted and looked at her feet, unable to stop the smile at the corner of her mouth. “The drill sergeants have really had it out for him this last week. He’s been running extra PT and they put him on latrine duty. Must have pissed off the wrong person.”

Bess stopped talking, noticing that her father’s face had soured into a tight grimace. She had probably been right not to tell her parents that she had been seeing Elvis. This would be tough, now there was nothing she could do now.

“Jah, that boy did piss off the wrong person. Me. You would be wise to cut your ties with him, Elizabeth, he does not respect women. And you have a bright future ahead of you. I might expect Katherine to be dazzled by this flash of Memphis. But you are too smart for all that. I would hate to see you lose focus on your goals to run around with a boy who brings his hoochie coochie girlfriends to town and flaunts them in your face.” 

Bess was silent as her father pursed his lips, nodding, then said good night. She listened to the sound of his footsteps as he walked up stairs, her mind racing as she tried to figure out how he had found out about Elvis. About the debacle with Anita. About all of it. 

The disappointment she had seen in her father’s eyes crushed her, and Bess tossed and turned in her bed all night trying to figure out how she could make him understand that she could have fun and still go after her goals. It was the thought of Elvis’ long thumbs caressing her body that finally calmed her down. The memory of his touch was like her own personal dose of benzodiazepine, it made her forget all her problems and give herself over to the sandman.

********************************************************************

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[bakerstreetbasilisk]

NEVER AN OBSTACLE

Fandom: Sherlock (TV)

Relationship: Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade

Written for prompt FFF261: Maybe One More of Flash Fiction Friday by @flashfictionfridayofficial

On a normal day, it would have been too early for them to be out of bed at this hour. But Myc has a plane to catch, and Greg won’t be seeing him for three weeks. Just the thought of it makes Greg feel like a part of him is being physically torn apart. He clings to the hope that he’ll get used to it.

Greg knows Mycroft feels the same. It’s all there in the way he keeps Greg pressed against the kitchen counter, kissing him as if the world’s ending. It was all there in the way he told him last night that he would cancel the whole thing if Greg wanted him to. But that’s the last thing Greg wants; to be an obstacle.

Mycroft’s phone buzzes with a notification, startling the both of them. James is outside, waiting. Mycroft leans close, his forehead against Greg’s as he pants into his mouth. The bone-deep longing is still there; it clings to him, weighing Greg down like stone.

Greg sighs. Even opening his eyes seem to take a lot of effort. “Hey,” he murmurs, rubbing circles on Mycroft’s back. “You’ll be late.”

“I wish I didn’t have to go, Greg.”

This is not the first time Greg had felt like a usurper, like he was rearranging his lover’s priorities and turning Mycroft into something he would later regret being. Their relationship was built on the understanding that Mycroft and his career was a package deal and Greg respected it. If he were to disrupt the way things worked, accidentally or not, he would never forgive himself.

Mycroft pulls back slowly, takes a good look at Greg and smiles. Greg knows that Mycroft just read him like a book.

“You were never an obstacle,” Mycroft says, cupping Greg’s cheek with a warm hand. “And you never will be. But you will always be my anchor. Know that you are the reason I will always come back home.”

Greg kisses him then. Love and relief burn through his veins.

“Promise?” Greg asks, his arms around his lover, holding him close one more time before he leaves.

Mycroft kisses his lips. “Promise.”

“Maybe one more? For good measure?”

Mycroft places another gentle kiss on his forehead. Greg knows he’s smiling.

“I promise,” he says.

*****

Two and a half weeks later, when Greg gets a text from Mycroft saying he’s coming home early, Greg knows it’s because Mycroft wants to be with him; because he missed him.

And Greg knows that it’s nothing to be guilty about.

[davekat-sucks]

Something fascinating I realized is that it has been almost 3 weeks since the last Beyond Canon update! If I can recall, the previous mini-update was on August 23rd, a Friday. From where I am tomorrow will be September 13th, 3 weeks!

So I now speculate this large gap of time (longer than the 2 week waiting period) may be for various reasons, and because I don’t follow James Roach on Twitter.

In my speculation, I will order my ideas from most likely to least likely, with the first reason being most probable, and the last reason being more a fanstasy than reality.

So Beyond Canon’s update has been delayed probably because:

1. James Roach had to attend to personal business with family or his individual life, which you should prioritize over a webcomic.

2. The last Vriska VN updates will come out in a bundle, and the planned release date is the 1 year anniversary of the comic’s return, 10/8/24

3. The team is taking a break from work stress and is using their vacation days to do fall stuff like pick apples from an orchard.

4. Members of James’s team have been moved to the Hiveswap development team by request from Whatpumpkin to the HICU and James is hiring new members for writing and art.

5. The comic is going on a long Hiatus again, similar to when the old Beyond Canon team packed up their stuff and had the comic in stasis for 2 years and 9 months. It’s likely no one would try to pick up the comic where it left off a second time, considering even the fandom’s favorite music producer and competent guy James Roach could run the comic for an even shorter period of time than the much less beloved and much more volatile old team. Thus, Homestuck: Beyond Canon would be soft cancelled.

Remembering how there was a job listing for Act 3 as well, I wouldn't be surprised that James Roach was involved with that process as well to recruit new team members. I can definitely see the last Vriska VN update be on the anniversary BC/HS2 started. There are only two sections left for Vriska redemption arc. If they aren't ending it off with some epic flash video, then that means the final update will fall on October 8th. The polls on Patreon show though they won't update the story that quickly after finishing Act 1, they will still make illustrations/art pieces for the Patreon supporters. So the Patreon won't exactly be closed by the time they take their break. There is also the fact that the Karkat plushie on Makeship, the official campaign will be released on September 16th. So if things Patreon funds can't help for Beyond Canon or Hiveswap Act 3, then this is the safety net to rely on.

[pbandjesse]

I felt pretty horrible today. It didn't help that emotionally I feel all torn up because I think I should call out tomorrow but with the stupid miscommunication on Friday I don't feel like I can and I feel hurt over it. So today was 80% sleeping, trying my very best to recover.

I struggled last night. I was incredibly congested and a terrible temperature. Having the fan on helped but I was just not having fun.

I slept in late. Waking up at 9. Then 10. 10:30. I wasn't having a great time.

I made the bed and felt really bad. But I was really hoping I could shake it. I took some medicine. I drank some water. I went and had some cereal.

I would pull out the table for my sewing machine for when Kim and Naomi were coming over. I seriously considered canceling because I felt so bad but I thought I could hold it together. And I really think I did a good job.

I would fall back asleep around noon and woke up at 130. I had meant to set an alarm for 1 but I messed it up. Thankfully my body woke me up and I was able to drink a bunch of water and wash my face and be normal when Kim and Naomi got to me.

It was so nice to see them. They would be here for almost two hours. And it was fun. Naomi got a sewing machine for Christmas and it took me a bit to figure it out but I got it and was able to show them both and by the end Naomi was able to thread the whole thing herself without any help. Amazing.

We had fun though. We would make 4 shirts for her koopaling plushies. Hawaiian shirts. And while Naomi sewed and I helped trouble shoot me and Kim talked. I gave her a bit of a tour of the house and she was very impressed. Made me feel very good.

We also just talked about autism and support needs. How schedules and routines are so important. And I felt very scene when I told her about how upset I get when schedules change without warning. It was a really nice conversation.

Naomi barely needed my help, she's getting to good at this. And I think that's just so cool to see. Also she started calling me "friend" because that is what I say!! I thought that was really cute and sweet.

Naomi decided when it was time to go. Totally fair. They helped tidy up and said goodbye. And I was able to fall apart again.

I would deteriorate pretty rapidly. I got on the couch after eating a veggie dog. And waited for James to come home.

When James got back I was pretty miserable. They opened the back door for fresh air and got me some medicine. And would stroke my face and tried to make me feel better. I had some ice cream and some cheezits. And I just tired to not completely fall apart.

James would work on some bread pudding and then went to play a game with friends. And I have come upstairs. I might take a bath. Maybe that will help me feel better.

I have a field trip tomorrow. And then my rhumatologist appointment. I really hope I can get through the day and that I feel normal again. I'm really upset about having to work tomorrow. Like it will be fine but I am angry about it. I just hope it's a fabulous day.

Sleep good everyone. I hope you are feeling good. I love you.

[annieintheaair]

Sun's gonna come back around, dust is gonna settle on solid ground; You've come too far to turn back now.

I slowed down on writing this past week because it has been a week! Quite possibly the craziest week of my whole year so far.

I ended up getting an ODAN on reserve last Monday, which was fine with me, except for the delays. First I was supposed to do an Albuquerque and then ended up doing an El Paso. The delays made me think, once again, how much better life would be once I moved and didn’t have to constantly worry about having help with my dogs.

Wednesday, scheduling assigned me a 4-day trip. I spent a solid couple of hours freaking out over it and then finally called out sick. The idea of working that trip literally made me sick to my stomach so I thought that was reasonable. Instead, I spend the day running errands, like getting supplies for my move at Target and getting a Stanley cup for my niece for her birthday. I got some packing done and eventually met my mom in Fort Worth for dinner at Game Theory. It was late and our options were limited. I finished the night at home with an Aperol spritz and a movie. I finally got up the courage to read a message James sent me weeks ago and we ended up messaging back and forth a bit. I felt like I was finally able to get some real closure from everything, knowing that it really wasn’t my fault. It meant so much to me that he took ownership of what he did wrong at the time and admitted that he was dealing with things that had nothing to do with me.

Thursday morning I got up early, got some work done, and went to NRH2O with my mom, sister, nieces, and nephew. We spent quite a few hours there in the water and I gave my niece, Charlotte her birthday present. She was so excited! After the water park we got Andy’s and then I headed home to the dogs.

On Friday, I went to my last yoga class in Fort Worth. Stephanie asked what my plans were for the weekend and I told her I was moving. She hugged me and told me that she would miss having me in class but hoped I’d visit sometimes. I told her that her class was one of the few things I’ll really miss living over there and plan to visit once in a while, especially when visiting my sister. It was one of my difficult moments of the week realizing that there was something I’d really miss.

After yoga, I ran to Costco for a couple things, stopped at Total Wine for more Aperol, and then ran to Mr. Poké for lunch. It was another long afternoon of packing.

We finally received a tentative agreement for our new contract but we have to vote on it and I will be voting no. The company could do better, and we deserve more than what they're currently offering.

By Saturday, I was in a weird mood where I knew I had a million things to do but I was also feeling a little sad and unmotivated to do anything. I got up early to go to the Clearfork Farmer’s Market, where I decided I couldn’t buy anything due to moving, and then went to Archie’s Gardenland where they had a cute café/permanent food truck called Heirloom. I got an early lunch and enjoyed time among the flowers before heading over to Daiso to pick up a few packing essentials.

My mom came to my house in the afternoon and we loaded up our cars and drove to my new house to drop off some things and leave one of my cars. My mom drove me back home after and we stopped at H-E-B to get sushi and then headed to the winery to listen to music.

Matt and I had planned on getting a U-Haul on Sunday but he was assigned standby duty so the plan was canceled. When I woke up Sunday morning though, Kia texted me asking about my move and I told her that Matt and I had to cancel so I was a little stressed out. Immediately, she called me and said she and her husband would come help me and to book the U-Haul so that they could pick it up on their way to my house. “Let’s get you moved!” is what she said and part of me didn’t even want to move at all that day but I knew I couldn’t turn down help.

I quickly loaded up as much as I could in my car and then my mom came over to help with some things. Kia, Mason, and Aleia showed up and we had a long, hot, crazy day of moving. We started around noon and didn’t get the truck fully loaded until around 5pm. My mom left a little early to go to my new house to drop stuff off and by the time I arrived, it was 6:20. I ran into my neighbors as soon as I parked my car and my landlord came over to bring a garage door remote until I could get the MyQ setup. I ordered us a pizza and took the dogs to their dog sitter by 7pm. The moving van arrived around 7:20pm and we started unloading. Unloading took us until about 11:30pm after we reassembled all of my furniture. Eric came over to help us unload, which was nice to have an extra set of hands.

My feet were black by the end of the day and I took a shower as soon as everyone left. I settled into bed, got some work done, and tried to fall asleep. As tired as I was, I had the hardest time falling asleep and didn’t even sleep as late as I had hoped.

Monday morning I felt super motivated to really start unpacking and organizing my kitchen. I unpacked all of the boxes that were in my kitchen to clear the countertops and even dragged a few boxes upstairs. I had a dentist appointment at 12:40pm so I drove across town for that and then immediately after drove the hour to my old house to do some cleaning and pack up some of the things left behind. Matt called me on my way over and offered to meet me so that we could get my bikes.

I got to the house around 2:30pm and Matt got there sometime around 3:30pm. We loaded up my car and packed it to the brim and then ran to Mr. Poké for yet another poké bowl before finishing up packing what we could in our cars. I felt like I got a lot cleaned and packed up but still couldn’t fit the last of it and didn’t get to pack everything in the fridge. I’m seriously dreading doing the trip again to get the rest.

I got back to my new house around 7pm and Matt got there shortly after. In the process of unloading my car, literally right after I got off the phone with Matt, I lost my phone. I kept pinging it and knew it was in my car but couldn’t find it anywhere. I thought I was losing my mind. When Matt got to my house, we literally had to rip apart my trunk (and discovered I don’t even have a spare tire because of the battery being back there!) and my phone somehow managed to get stuck in some crack that was nearly impossible to get out. I honestly don’t know how we did it but I got my phone back.

By the time we unloaded Matt’s car, we were both sweating and ready for a drink. We went to Sidecar Social and got spicy margaritas and then Matt got an old fashioned and I got an espresso martini. Once again, Matt tried to convince me to go on an actual date with him, to which I reminded him again that I’m enjoying the single life for now. He said, “Well maybe now that you’re getting your life back together.” And I said, “That makes it sound like I’m coming off of drugs or just got out of prison haha.” But seriously, it made it seem like something in my life had been so off and now I was finally making some progress in the right direction.

We picked up the dogs at 9:30pm and then went back to my house for a bit. Matt helped me with some random things, like carrying my desk upstairs, and then went home. I hopped in the shower, got into bed, finished up some work, wrote my report, and then tried to sleep. I tossed and turned for about two hours before I finally fell asleep.

When I woke up Tuesday morning, it was around 7:30am. I stayed in bed until about 8 and then decided I had to go for a walk before it got too hot outside. I got dressed and the dogs and I walked around the neighborhood and on the trails and through the park. Ellie led the way like she had never left. I looked at the park and the trail and just thought about how lucky I am to get this sort of do-over. I think I took a lot for granted before and I’m so thankful to have this chance to have my old life back. All the neighbors said hello and waved as we walked and before heading home we stopped at the mailbox where my new driver’s license was waiting for me. “It’s really official now!” I thought.

Back at home I gave the dogs breakfast and then decided I had to go to H-E-B to get some allergy meds because all of the dust from moving caused a major allergy attack that I felt like I could barely breathe and wanted to rip my eyeballs out. I picked up some meds, got gas, and then went to Home Depot to make some extra copies of my key.

At home, my landlord texted me about coming over soon to install some cabinet hardware. I immediately realized I desperately needed to finish the kitchen. I grabbed more boxes from the garage and completely unpacked and organized the kitchen. It felt so good to make that kind of progress!

I got more work done and then ran a few errands and picked up a Thai tea from Sweetwaters. I tried to take a short nap at home but only slept maybe 20 minutes before I had to wake up for my 3:30pm work meeting. It was honestly such a waste because my boss didn’t even show up or tell us she wouldn’t be there.

I took a shower and got ready and then went to meet my mom at Brio for dinner. We moved some stuff that she picked up from my old house into my car and then I went to work.

My flight to Nashville got delayed due to thunderstorms there and I was really hoping that it would just cancel but it didn’t.

It feels like a long week and it’s only Wednesday. It’s going to be a busy few days with working so much but I’m really glad I’m off tonight.

I remember reading something many years ago that said, “If you don’t like where you live, move. You’re not a tree.” Sometimes I feel like the potted plant version of a tree. I’m okay where I am but I can still move. Sometimes it feels like I’m outgrowing my pot and need a larger one, much like a hermit crab outgrowing its shell. Sometimes I feel like I’m not getting enough water or sun and my leaves start to welt and my soil dries up. It’s amazing what changing your environment can do for you. I know it has only been a few days but I feel more like me again, like I have finally exited the dream I was living in the last 14 months.

I feel like I can really say that I tried. I loved my house there and am still sad in some ways about having left but I needed to do what was best for me and right now, I need to be where I feel like I have good support and can be happy.

I'm finally meeting my new therapist in person this afternoon. We've had a few sessions virtually and I feel like we have a lot to catch up on today since it has been a week and a half and a lot happened since then. It's nice being closer to my therapist so I can meet her in person, finally.

I thought about driving back to my old house today to finish some things up but I might hold off until Saturday. We'll see.

xoxo

Annie

[jamesheartupdates]

6 months and many breakdowns later... surgery is rescheduled

TL;DR: Surgery is now scheduled for Wednesday, February 21, 2024. James will have pre-op the day before. We'll keep updating here as we can!

The longer version...

Almost everything from the last post in August is still valid. It's still the third and final surgery for his "full repair" (called the "Fontan"). It's still not an "emergency" (although it does need to happen). And it's still happening at UVA hospital in Charlottesville (and we still live in Richmond, an hour away).

The biggest change is that James turned 4 in October! Also after having conversations with his cardiologist, the initial 2-4 week hospital recovery we were told to anticipate may be a little inflated. James is an all-star little patient and has recovered more quickly than average during his past two surgeries, so we're anticipating hospital recovery to be more around a week (or two, but you can never really know these things).

For a little background over the past several months, there have been many twists and turns since August. The August date was canceled due to low ICU staffing at the hospital. We planned again for October. We kept the boys out of daycare to prevent us from getting sick. We all got sick. We delayed surgery week by week as we continued to be sick. Then we decided to take a break from the madness as we entered into cold and flu season, and we would wait and try again in the spring.

It's not quite spring, but we're back at it again. We're anxious to have this surgery behind us, and we're hopeful James will feel relief for ailments he doesn't even realize he has (his oxygen saturation levels are in the low 80s currently, after surgery they'll be in the high 90s).

We took the boys out of daycare again and have been quarantining as much as possible in preparation for the surgery. It's important for James to not have an upper respiratory illness for the surgery and immediate recovery because his lungs need to be in tip top shape (something we didn't *fully* realize until our second attempt at the surgery in the fall).

The logistics, the considerations, the emotions, the stress — it's all a lot. We just keep telling ourselves and each other we're doing the best we can.

Here's what the next few days will look like:

We plan to tell James about the surgery today or tomorrow (the fun news is we also get to tell James he was accepted for Make A Wish, so he can choose something to look forward to after the surgery!).

Tuesday 2/20 we go to UVA for pre-op mid-morning to mid-afternoon (vitals, echo, blood draw, ultrasound, etc.), then we come home.

Wednesday 2/21 is surgery day, so Michael and I will take James SUPER EARLY to UVA. Surgery will be 6-8 hours (for those who this means anything to, it's a "beating heart" operation and he'll be on the pump for ~1-1.5 hrs). Michael and I have been in touch with the hospital about getting a room at the Ronald McDonald house — chances are it's full, and if it is, the hospital will provide a room at a hotel for us for 3 nights. Michael and I will be taking turns staying overnight with James at the hospital (they only let 1 adult overnight).

In the days that follow, someone will be with him around the clock (it's different having a newborn or 5 month old compared to a 4 year old!). He'll probably be in the ICU for a couple nights then go to the pediatric floor for the remaining days.

Another thing to note is that there are two heart transplant candidates that could move our surgery to Thursday or Friday, but the odds are still good that James's surgery will happen within the week. As long as we get through pre-op, surgery will definitely be within the week.

People have been asking how to support us, and most simply you can cheer us on however you prefer — thoughts, prayers, letters, song, dance, poem, etc. Some people have asked about meals, and we don’t have a meal train currently, but if you’d like to send an Uber Eats or Door Dash gift card or Venmo us (@ninarogers or @mikerogue) for a coffee, a meal or to just help with the extra costs that can come with traveling to and from the hospital and being out of our normal routine — that would be appreciated. Hopefully this will just be a short stint and not too disruptive for too long.

Last but not least, here are some cute pictures from the past few months 🥰 James is still our sweet, funny, sassy, spirited and curious little red head, and we love him so!

That's all for now! We'll post more (shorter) posts as we go. You can come here to stay updated!

Love, Nina (+ Michael, James & Gabe)

[cadygroves]

 Yesterday, Sunday, I went to The Eras Tour. I was supposed to go on friday but it got cancelled, so my concert ended up being the last one in Argentina; and by the way, this was my first concert ever, 

 This was the most magical and exciting experience of my life. I don't even know what to say, but I'm so so happy we made Taylor feel so loved and we showed the power of our crowd to her.

I will talk about this concert, one. era. at a time. 

Before the concert began, I talked with the girl who was on the seat next to me; she was so nice! I gave her bracelets. We talked about our favourite albums, which surprise songs we wanted... that was so relieving for me, since I am so so SO shy and I was feeling so nervous.

1. Lover

It's been a long time coming for sure. I was already screaming the songs, I was tearing up, I couldn't believe I was there. It all felt like a dream... It was funny to sing "You Need To Calm Down", when I was the one who needed to calm down!! hahaha.  When Lover started, I felt the need to hug someone and I NEVER hug people; that's the power Taylor has.

2. Fearless

Oh god. This era was when my mind started going "this can't be happening. oh my god. this is awesome. i need to contact little me and tell her what's going on. oh my god oh my god.". I grew up more with Red and 1989, but there were songs from Fearless (debut and speak now, too) that I've been listening to forever (& always). You Belong With me is one of them. There was a thing Spotify made last year, it was like a time capsule of songs, one of the questions was "which song would you want to hear live this year?", and I chose "You Belong With Me".        It happened.        My mind remembers the music video, hating the cheerleader, loving the nerd, the story this song tells will always warm my heart.

3. Evermore

This era was so chaotic and fun and it felt like I was watching a movie!! I mean, Tolerate It and Willow? AHHHHHHHHHH. Before Champagne Problems, Taylor said that it took her a while (yeah haha) to come to Argentina and she's never going to make that mistake again. So possibly for her next tour she'll come here again and I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. reputation

EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING "VA A REPUTAAAAAAR!! AAAAAAAAAAHhh!!". I got to experience the "1, 2, 3, let's go bitch" in person!! and I listened to the high notes in Ready For It? and Don't Blame Me live!!!!!!!!! AND Look What You Made Me Do live was HEALING. IT WAS A HEALING EXPERIENCE, it just hit so hard!!! GOOOOOD.

5. Speak Now

Ah ah ah, Ah ah ah. I WAS ENCHANTED TO MEET YOU, TAYLOR. Seeing her in that gorgeous dress, singing Enchanted: it was a fairytale. And I cried my eyes out during Long Live. SOMEDAY, WE WILL BE REMEMBERED.

6. Red

I remember this album (the original version) was the latest album Taylor had released when I found out about her and her music. So hearing these songs live was magical. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22! Also, honourable mention to Taylor's dancer who screamed "¡ni en pedo!" the three nights. I LOVED THAT. I Knew You Were Trouble is an ICONIC Taylor Swift song and I'm so happy I got to experience it. And of course, All Too Well... the whole stadium was red. All the bracelets were burning red. Everyone screamed "fuck the patriarchy!". I'll remember this all too well.

7. folklore

"So we have brought the folklore cabin to Argentina, haven't we?". folklore is another album that feels like a movie, or a book; when you see Taylor laying down and singing "you meet some woman on the internet and take, her, home..." you forget you're in the stadium full of people for a second. Betty! oh god! I will never forgive James for what he did to you. I'm sorry I sing along to every line of his apology. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD and that transition, from August to Illicit Affairs- AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Illicit Affairs is my second favourite song on folklore (after mirrorball). DON'T. CALL. ME. KID. DON'T. CALL. ME. BABY.

8. 1989

I stayed out too late last night and I loved every second of it. I danced a lot during the 1989 era and it was so so fun. I adore the Bad Blood coreography; and the fact that there was FIRE during this song. AHHHHHH. I could feel the heat!! It was awesome!!!

SURPRISE SONGS

Was this even real? I still can't believe it. She sang BETTER THAN REVENGE. I thought she'd never EVER sing this song again. Better Than Revenge is the song I play in my bedroom so loud that if someone screams in another room, I wouldn't hear them. It's one of my favourite songs. I could have never guessed this was going to be my surprise song, however, I am MORE than happy that it was.

Then, "Slut!". This was such a clever combination, I mean, Better than Revenge + Slut? It's so great. I remember when I first listened to Slut, it felt so nostalgic (well, probably because it was written 10 years ago haha). Taylor's voice was magical.

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9. Midnights

And finally, Midnights. I started to feel a bit sad because I knew that the show was about to end now, but I decided to give it my all and 'be the loudest woman this town has ever seen'. Lavender Haze, Anti-Hero, Midnight Rain, Vigilante Shit, Bejeweled, Mastermind, Karma... every song was phenomenal. I love how she made the decision to end the show with Karma, such a fun song to leave us dancing and wanting more. Thank you, Taylor Swift. I love you. !!

[jmsami]

A recap of my time with Chris and bracing myself for heartbreak 13

We saw each other for the first time in about 6 months at Two Penguins on March 12, 2022.  We were kissing passionately within minutes.  He even followed up a couple days later because he knew I was going to a concert and asked how it was.  I was going to go on a second date with this guy on Friday March 18.  I wrote in my journal I probably screwed up big time when I cancelled last minute after receiving an invitation from Chris to go see live music on Friday, March 18.  Even though my car got towed due to illegal parking we both enjoyed the show very much and he posted about it the next day.  There was also a lot of kissing and physical affection.  I wrote in my journal  you can cut the sexual tension with a knife.  Then went awhile without any contact thus beginning the hot and cold.  I thought at the time the behavior did not affect me emotionally as much as it would have between April and October of 2021, but after 9 months of occasional hangouts where we didn’t have sex most of the time; thought we formed a stronger friendship including improvements in opening up and sharing, I am back to being emotionally affected, probably even more so. I wrote in my journal in April about not seeing Chris for 5 weeks and I'm feeling like I need to have a conversation with him soon about why I've kept him around.  I wrote “Mother fucker is probably dating someone else again”  I’ve know since April how sad and emotional I feel when the amazing in person dynamic between us isn't occurring more frequently and it was also around the time I knew a serious talk was in order.  The next time we saw each other, about 54 days later, was a local comedian comedy show showcase at Comedy Works on May 11.  Learned via twitter that his friend Andie Main who he once went out / made out with was not very happy he came to the show with me.  Maybe since I went on four dates with another guy, at the time I was not as emotional / sad as I was the previous month about the amazing in person dynamic between us not occurring more frequently, thought I had accepted it and still wanted to have a serious talk with him if he'll allow  I think since he went on a long vacation in June to Hawaii, the next time we saw each other was 69 days later for the James Taylor concert on Tuesday, July 19.  I was also hanging out with this guy Tom at the time and Pat / Michael Hoffman every once in awhile.  I saw Chris again 9 days later for the Jackie Kashian comedy show on Thursday, July 28.  This was after being pressured into sex by Tom.  He actually initiated  uncomfortable conversations which should have happened a long time ago and I was very taken aback and very happy at the same time.  The next and last time I saw Tom was Wednesday, August 3.  He wanted to have sex but I declined.  I told him I wasn't in the mood, but the real reason is because I had still been entertaining other men and started having "what the hell are we doing" discussions with Chris.  The next time I saw him was 14 days later on Thursday, August 11.  I had an amazing evening walking around Cherry Creek reservoir.  I found myself opening up and sharing about how past traumas have affected my life, and what an impact he has had on my life.  I felt that things were absolutely amazing in person but weird that we’d go long  stretches without contact in between hanging out.  I also wished the amazing in person dynamic was happening more frequently.   We came close but didn't have sex that night.  I was not sure I could do the get to know new guys thing at the time especially after the recent progress / break thrus with Chris. I entertained other men but found it challenging to really enjoy and appreciate them when I knew I liked Chris the best and wanted things to progress.  18 days later, I went to Dry Dock with Chris on Monday, August 29.  We had sex.  Then things got distant again.  I saw him 37 days later on Wednesday, October 5.  I met up with him at Living the Dream brewery to show him the new car and have a couple beers.  We made out the whole time on the back patio area.  It was amazing.  Not sure it was very smart of me that we ended up having sex our next meetup which was 56 days later on November 30 when we went to a comedy show.  This creates a situation that I don’t want which is only having sex with someone I like, want to spend time with, and truly get to know better about once a quarter and a little reminiscent of the hot mess express train I rode with Mike, but I’d like to think Chris and I are better friends than that.  The last time I saw Chris was 46 days ago, he came to my RMFC concert on Monday, December 12.  I started thinking for the sake of my sanity that I need to have a serious talk with him soon about what I want, need and expect.  That has not come to fruition.  I asked if we could get together a couple weekends ago or so and he said he would, but he’s in the Springs all weekend for his son’s hockey tournament.  At this time, he has not responded to the text I sent two days ago asking if he was available to get together.  I will not accept another ghost.  I am going to try to have this talk.  It’s long overdue.

[livingwithlosingyou]

Living with Losing You - 11/28/2022

I have the Flu. Flu A. 

I know what you (the reader) are thinking, I really can’t catch a break. And the answer to your statement is yes, you’re correct. Since Jake died, I have been through it. As if that in itself wasn't already horrific enough. 

I barely slept last night, and spent most of it either shivering or sweating profusely. I took my temperature a few times, but unfortunately I realized that my thermometer was broken. It wasn’t until I picked up a new one (when I went to go get DayQuil and NyQuil) that I realized I had a 100.5 then a 102 eventually. I knew that Tylenol wasn’t working, and I knew I felt like complete shit. It was recommended that I go and get tested just in case. Well, it was a good thing I did since I do in fact have it. 

Today was also the day that OE was supposed to end for my company, but with everything going on, we decided to extend it luckily. I was working today while trying to get some answers at urgent care. It took me about 4 hours total. Lots of people. They said that this flu is going around right now. Also - you know you are a dedicated worker when you join a meeting from the urgent care room. The amount of times I have done that. And if you (the reader) are curious, yes, I opted for the highest FSA amount possible because I am such a health case. 

I am glad that the DayQuil somewhat worked. I am really hoping that this slowly starts to feel better. I have the NYC trip on Friday, and I can’t miss this trip. The doctor said she thinks I will be fine, but we will see what happens. I am canceling everything to try and rest / get better. Ugh, this sucks. 

James, I get a little frustrated. Amongst the promises that you made me, one of them was that you'd always be here to take care of me when I got sick. It’s really been fucked up how sick I have been since you’ve died. It also sucks that I do not just have you to help tell me what to take, etc. I miss that so much. We would always make jokes that you were my personal doctor and I was your “medical anomaly”. Which, is not incorrect. I get a little scared that I won’t find someone who has the patience that you did with all of my random illnesses and ailments. I’m sure I will, I guess I am just being Sadison. 

It was funny though cause they made me wait in the car instead of the lobby, so I went and got pho since I had a couple of hours. Yes, I sanitized and masked / ate it in my car. It kind of made the time go by faster. Working also helped make the time go by. Pros and cons to it. It was stressing me out though. 

I went home right after urgent care since I was gone for so long so I could take Sadie out / take my next dose of DayQuil. Then, I went to go grab my meds. I guess I was out of the window for the Tamiflu, so they gave me a cough suppressant instead. I think I may start with the NyQuil only, and then see how I feel. Once I got back to the house I ordered Chick-Fil-A DoorDash and ate like half of the fries and half of the sando. I really don’t have much of an apatite. I ordered some bland crackers on Amazon trough Whole Foods, it’s all supposed to be delivered tomorrow. That was my first time ever utilizing the grocery delivery service, so we will see how it goes. 

I spent the rest of the evening watching “Nailed it”, and now I am in bed typing this blog. 

I ordered your parents each a Christmas memorial lantern to honor you, and to remind them that you are with us this holiday season. I have been really struggling with that myself. I hate that you’re not here. I hate it. I miss you a lot James. 

I am going to drink my tea, take my NyQuil, and try to get some sleep. Fingers crossed I can, because I am WIPED from today. 

I could use a little strength. I love you. 

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022

PS - Here is your boy in his Chrimahhh collar, and then me hating my life lol

[lollypopsx]

Could you do one where harry accidentally embarrasses ivy by being too affectionate with her in public with her friends please?

Drabble Request

Drabble Masterlist

Ivy - Age 15

—————— 

 Ivy was out for dinner with her five best friends at the TGI Friday's in Leicester Square after a day wandering around the London shops for one of her friend's birthdays.

Dad💕: Hi bug, taking Isla for dinner somewhere, not sure where yet but let me know when you're done and I can pick you up. Do any of your friends need a lift home too? Do you all have enough money for dinner? Are you all safe?xx

Ivy🐞: Hiii, yeah we’re all okay! Not sure yet, I’ll see. Lilly might, if her mum is ok, she gave birth last week so she might fall asleep. Is that ok? And yes we have enough x

Dad💕: Alright bug, course it’s ok. Call me when you’re done xx

Ivy slipped her phone back into her pocket, enjoying the time she could spend wither her childhood friends.

“Ivy look! It’s James!” Lilly squeals softly, Ivy blushes deeply. “Oh no!” She mumbles softly. “He invited me to Kiera’s party with him but he’s so gross. Plus my dad would never let me go!” She sighs.

“I heard he kissed Kiera behind the bike shed at school and they did stuff during French” Another of her friends exclaims.

“No way!” Ivy’s eyes widen. “Oh my god!” She laughs. “That’s disgusting!” 

“It’s gross. He has a major crush on you Vee!” Lilly giggles as their food arrives. “Well I most certainly wouldn’t want him touching me after what I know now!” She giggled. 

After two hours of them all talking, eating burger, chips, chicken strips, desserts and lots of Pepsi, the girls were beginning to get tired out after a long day of hanging out and walking the majority of London.

Ivy phoned Harry when they were done. He told them to wait inside the restaurant at the table all together so none of them were left alone and that he would take Ivy and Lilly home when all the girls had been picked up.

Harry dropped you and Isla home first so you could get Isla bathed and into bed, then Harry parked round the back of Leicester Square and strolled into the restaurant.

“Hello hello!” He greeted her friends at the table. They all said hello as Harry leaned over, kissing Ivy’s cheek and squeezing his arms around her shoulders. “Dad!” She groans softly, trying to pull away.

“You’re shopped out to the max bug!” He chuckles with a smile, as he sits in the seat beside her.

She muttered something under her breath as the girls were whispering about James.

Harry gasps softly, leaning his head down and joining in this the whispering. “What’s the gossip?!”

You and Harry had always been the fun parents of Ivy’s little friend group...to Ivy however, you were the two most embarrassing people alive.

“That’s James over there in corner, and he has a massive crush on Ivy!” Lilly whispers to Harry. Ivy’s jaw dropped to the floor as she nudged Lilly’s leg under the table.

“Someone saw him and Keira behind the bike sheds during French, they were doing stuff!” Cassie giggles. 

Harry’s brows were raised. “And he likes Ivy?” He gossips with the girls. “Yep! He invited Ivy to Kiera’s party tomorrow as well”

“Wait...I thought we didn’t like Kiera anymore because she only invited two of you for her birthday but told the other four that the party was cancelled” Harry crossed his arms, looking between all the girls.

“We don’t!” Ivy sighs. “But if he likes you...maybe you should give him a chance, shall I go and get his number for you bug?” Harry teases.

Ivy scowls “Don’t!”

“Why not baby? I’m sure he’s lovely!” He grins, wrapping his arms around her again, purposely to embarrass her.

“Dad! Stop!” She whines. “I don’t like him! He’s gross!”

“I’m just kidding...no one will ever be good enough for my little bug!”

“My mum’s outside, and she’s taking Ellie and Cami too” Cassie stands up with two of the girls at the table.

“Oh thank god!” Ivy groans in relief.

“Allie, do you want me to drop you back too? You’re only next door to Lilly” Harry offers with a smile.

“Yes please, only if you don’t mind!” She smiles softly.

“Course not” Harry follows the group outside as the girls say their goodbyes to Ivy, Lilly, Allie and Harry. Harry waved over a hello to the Cassie’s mum, making sure those three girls were in the car before wandering over to his car.

These six girls had all been best friends since they had all gone to the same baby group with their Mums, and they had been glued to the hips since then.

“So this party tomorrow...” Harry says as he gets into the car.

“Dad, I’m not sneaking out to go. Don’t worry. None of us are going.” Ivy quickly states, before he got the wrong idea.

“I gathered that...so why don’t all you girls have your own little party at our house tomorrow? Sleepover, pizza and films?” He offers.

“Really?!” Ivy grins.

“Sure...Isla is staying at Gem’s tomorrow night so you won’t have to worry about her wanting to join in every second” He chuckles.

“Thanks Dad. But do not embarrass me!” She warns.

——————

Tag List: @harryhoney-bee - @sunandherflores -  @beachwood-cafe - @damnasstyles - @awesomebooklover17 - @hazgoldenstyles - @evanjh - @harrysbracelet - @nerdypartytrashpsychic - @harryssweatcreaturee - @hibaiqbal12

[threecupsfull]

Vanessa James and Eric Radford are on an ego trip to Beijing. Skate Canada has buffed that conceit.

The veteran pairs team — though not with each other — was named to Canada’s figure skating squad for the Olympics despite not skating a long program on Saturday at the national championships in Ottawa, after placing fourth in Friday’s short program.

Both had tested positive for COVID over Christmas and had only four days of training for the event.

Stiffed by the decision to include James and Radford on the Olympic team are Evelyn Walsh and Trennt Michaud, the young pair that claimed silver.

James had entered the women’s dressing room after a sketchy short program and proclaimed, “Our spot is secured,” Walsh recalled.

It sounded like it was all in the bag for James and Radford, and James knew it, regardless of whether they earned a medal or even skated in the long program.

“It was not directed at me,’’ Walsh told the Star about James’ declaration. “But it was quite loud. Loud enough that my coach overheard it from the corridor.”

Walsh was dismayed. “We’d been on such a high after the short.” They were sitting second, with impressive execution, behind Kirsten Moore-Towers and Michael Marinaro, who would cop their third national title. “Suddenly it was, like, what are we even skating for if the decision has already been made? It was extremely disheartening. That closed doors we didn’t know existed.

“We’re feeling lost and disappointed with how things worked out. I cried on the drive all the way home.”

James and Radford also were nominated to the team for the world championships in March. Walsh and Michaud were not, although they made their worlds debut in Stockholm last spring and finished 12th. Moore-Towers and Marinaro were sixth. That outcome locked in two spots for Canada in Beijing. Instead, Walsh and Michaud were assigned to a Four Continents event later this month, which is basically consolation for skaters who aren’t Olympics bound.

“That was just another disappointment,” Walsh said.

The team’s coach, Alison Purkiss, is discouraged that her skaters didn’t make the worlds cut. “It would have been much fairer if the two had been split, so they could go to worlds.”

The exchange in the dressing room — it really was only a one-way conversation — was reported to Skate Canada. At least one person who sits on the board of directors was told about it. Two people with knowledge of the incident have described it to the Star as “bullying.” Moore-Towers, who is the Safe Sport representative, was aware of the incident.

The incident might not rise to the level of bullying. It could just be part and parcel of the sometimes toxic environment that hangs over an intensely competitive — and, frankly, bitchy — sport, behind the facade of glitter and rictus smiles.

“I think it was said in frustration,” Purkiss said of the James outburst. “Those things have to be put into context.”

As of Monday, Walsh and Michaud had yet to be contacted by Skate Canada. They discovered their exclusion from the Olympics and world championships on Twitter.

“Nobody has taken the opportunity to explain to them, ‘Look, this is why we made the decision,’ ” Purkiss said. “So they’re questioning everything they know and had been told throughout the season about the criteria for the Olympics.”

That criteria, circulated to skaters last spring, stated the final determination would be based on results from the Grand Prix circuit, potential performance as indicated by international scores, previous world placement and nationals.

“A lot of people assume that (nationals) is the end-all and be-all in the final determining factor,’’ Michael Slipchuk, high performance director for Skate Canada, told reporters Sunday. “But for us, it’s part of our criteria.”

He pointed out that James and Radford had collected the highest scores among Canadians pairs teams coming into the nationals, in a season that was again severely disrupted by the pandemic. The Grand Prix last month was cancelled.

“We took the body of work of all athletes. We wanted to make the best assessment for the strongest team we feel has the best ability for us at the Games.”

For Skate Canada, it’s always about manipulating for medals.

Slipchuk did not respond to an interview request from the Star. Nor did any other Skate Canada executive. The Star also tried reaching out to James and Radford, through Skate Canada, without success.

Radford and James placed fourth in their three assignments, with a top score at the Internationaux de France of 193.64. Walsh and Michaud were ninth, sixth and eighth, with a top score of 168.87.

James and Radford are 34 and 36 respectively. Walsh and Michaud are 20 and 25. With Moore-Towers and Marinaro indicating they will probably retire after these Games, Walsh and Michaud project as Canada’s top pairs duo for 2026 in Italy. They’ve never been to an Olympics and would certainly benefit from the experience of Beijing.

A two-time world champion and an Olympic bronze medallist with former partner Meagan Duhamel, Radford shocked the figure skating community with his announcement in April that he was coming out of retirement and had paired with James. Duhamel, who had never been asked if she was interested in resuming a competitive career, was “blindsided.”

James, from Scarborough, had spent a decade skating for France with ex-partner Morgan Ciprès, who has been charged — in absentia — by the Florida state attorney’s office for allegedly sending lewd photos of himself to a 13-year-old female skater. This purportedly occurred while Ciprès and James were still skating together. James is adamant she knew nothing about it.

The yoking of Radford and James remains controversial and their selection to the Olympic team has sparked a strong backlash on social media. Duhamel tweeted: “I am disappointed in my sport today.”

Radford, in a virtual session with reporters Sunday, insisted their selection was justified.

“The criteria was stated at the beginning of the season. And so, from the beginning until now, we all have the same opportunities to perform and score. Vanessa and I posted the highest short and free program scores internationally, we had the highest placements.”

Before the comeback, Radford was to have choreographed the long program for Walsh and Michaud. When he became a rival, that plan was ditched.

Their long program was performed to “Dreaming With a Broken Heart.”

-by rosie di manno in toronto star

[writtenerin]

Remus sprinted down the hallway to the Gryffidor common room, knocking into two second years on the way, who turned and glared daggers at his back. "Oi, watch it!" Remus stuck two fingers up at them behind his back as he ran. Bursting through the portrait door he scanned the room for James and not finding him carried on to their dorm. When he entered James was lying on his bed reading his quidditch magazine. "James." "Hmm." "Have you seen Regulus lately?" "What?! Why?! No... no!" James panicked. "Look I know about you two ok you're not exactly subtle, but that's not what I care about. Have you seen him since we got back to school?" Remus asked. "I - No I haven't seen him, we haven't had time to meet up yet we planned for after the feast on Friday." Remus shifted slightly from one foot to another, avoiding James' eyes, which had narrowed in his direction. "What? Why did you want to know if I had seen him?" "Err... I really didn't want to have to tell you this but he's got the Mark. You know, the Dark Mark." Remus whispered into the deathly silent dorm room. "What?! Did you see it?!" "Yeah, sorry James." Remus apologised. "Why are you sorry?" James questioned. "Well, err... you know. He's got the Dark Mark, I just assumed you wouldn't want to see him anymore." Remus explained. "What?! No! Of course not! This is all that bloody hag's fault, she must have forced him to get it. They don't normally let wizards under seventeen get the Mark anyway. I've heard some Slytherins complain about it." "Oh good... well, not good, but I'm glad it doesn't bother you." Remus sighed in relief. "Of course it doesn't bother me... Oh god, that's why Regulus hasn't wanted to meet up with me. We kept making plans and then he would cancel at the last moment. I have to go and talk to him, tell him it doesn't bother me." James set out in a sprint, throwing open the door of the dorm and rushing past an unsuspecting Padfoot who was nearly blown backwards by the force of James' run. After James had made his speedy exit and Sirius had recovered from his shock, Sirius turned to a smiling Remus. "What was that all about?" Sirius asked. "James is going to snog your brother because he loves him and doesn't care that he has been forced to get the Dark Mark," Remus stated as he strolled past Sirius out of the dorm and through to the portrait door. "What... what?! Prongs...and...my brother. Reggie? You... them?!" Sirius stuttered. "Come on Padfoot, we'll be late to dinner." Remus called over his shoulder, hiding a smile.