#LOOKIT THAT SMUG GRIN

[cestcirque]

Hirugami Fukuro (Team A), Schweiden Adlers middle blocker

official tweet

[binkuscat]

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

Pairing: Boothill x Reader

Warnings: Afab reader, lost bet, cunnilingus, missionary to cowgirl, unprotected sex, creampie, size difference

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you had made a bet with your boyfriend before he had gone to a duel. the exact words were: "Boothill, if you win this duel, i'll do whatever you say for the rest of the day, but if you lose you do what i say." He had happily agreed, knowing he'd win. and that's exactly what happened.

currently, you were standing in the lobby, knowing you were going to regret your words. you felt him saunter up behind you, pulling you flush against his chest. the cold metal made you shiver, and you looked up at him.

he had a smile on his face, looking awfully smug, "i do believe i won, darlin', and i'm ready to collect my prize" his smile grew as he watched you blush.

you cleared your throat, looking back at the floor, "ahah... that's right- i suppose we'll be heading back to our room then?"

he nodded, suddenly throwing you over his shoulder. setting an arm over your legs, and ignoring your protests, he carried you to where you were both staying.

"Boothill- put me down-" you squirmed, trying to get free.

the robot chuckled, swinging you up off his shoulder and onto the bed, hearing you let out an exasperated huff, " you said to put you down, so i did. but i'm the one who's still callin' the shots, pretty thing."

you grumbled, wondering what he'd ask you to do, and it wasn't long before you had your answer.

"now. since i can ask ya to do anything, how about we have some fun?" he leaned over you, gesturing to your clothes.

you blush even more, but nod, taking your shirt off, then your pants. you sat bare among the rumpled blankets, could feel him staring up and down your body, taking you in.

"no time like now to get to the main course" he pushed you gently onto your back, spreading your legs. getting closer to your already dripping wet pussy, he stuck his tongue out and dragged a slow line up. it ended at your clit, to which he sucked on a bit, causing you to gasp and moan, he moved back down, starting to eat you out.

your hands go to his hair, getting tangled in it and holding him there, "o-oh aeons~"

hearing and feeling your response to him, he stuck his tongue deeper, driving you closer to an orgasm.

you gasp a a final time, moaning out his name as you came, "ah-! boothill~!"

he reached up and grabbed your thigh, giving it a light squeeze while he lapped all your juices up. once he was done, he sat up, undiong the belt on his pants, "alrigh', sweetheart, ya ready?"

you nod as you watch him free his cock, rubbing it against your folds, knowing your slick would make it easier to pump into you. he finally slides into you, to which you moan, feeling so full.

"mm... lookit you, coming undone around me, i love it" he began to thrust in and out, steadily picking up pace.

you cling to him as best as you can, trying to get closer, but he only chuckles, pushing you back down. you suddenly feel him speed up, making your back arch, knowing you were close.

boothill obviously noticed, just as suddenly pulling out, you whining in protest "don't worry sugar, you'll like what happens next"

he picks you up, shifting so you were sitting on top of him, then setting his hat on you, "now ride, darlin' "

you nod, sitting on his dick again, starting to bounce. as you do, you release a string of moans with his name mixed in.

he put a hand where he could see a bulge on your stomach from piercing yourself on his length. "so beautiful, yeah?"

you nod, before releasing a whine and finally reaching your second orgasm. he gripped your hips after he felt your pace stutter. lifting you himself, and and down. he soon reached his own orgasm, plunging into you with a grin.

"take it all, sugar~" he released inside you, watching as the mix of both of you leaked out.

once he had finished, he pulled out, laying you down. he placed a kiss on your cheek, pulling a blanket over you "ya did well, sweetheart, get some rest"

you nod, not too long after falling asleep

[blindmagdalena]

i keep seeing that tiktok trend with people and their partners moon phases completing each other or not. and it made me think about how Homelander would react to astrology and such…

he’s definitely the type to not believe in it, unless his and his s/o are supposed to be compatible. i can see the smug grin on his face as he says…

“see babe, what’d i tell you? match made in heaven”

OR even worse - they aren’t compatible. and he’s definitely not bothered about it, because “it’s not even real” 😭

LMAO no you're so right for this. he would be the type to be very vocal about how he puts zero stock in things like horoscope compatibility, but he still goes, "Well? What's ours?" once you figure out his birthday.

if it's good news he claps and points like you won a contest. "Lookit that, perfect match." congrats, you got good grades in being a couple.

if it's bad news he scoffs and tells you it's all stupid and you shouldn't look at that stuff and it doesn't mean anything. he takes your phone and closes the tab before putting it back in your hands. don't ever look at that stuff again because it's bullshit. and then he needs a whole lot of physical reassurance that you're not going to leave him because of his astrological sign.

[strawberrykake]

ꕥ fixing his daughter’s hair to match yours ꕥ

note: ty for 900!! As a thank you, I’ll post this early ❣️

father-son ver, fluff, lots of it, some domestic fluff, not rlly proofread

Osamu, Daichi, Akaashi, Iwaizumi, Aran || long-haired reader, fem!reader

Osamu

He sat on his daughter’s bed, brushing the little girl’s hair as she stands between his legs

“lil mochi, how ya wannit?” he calls her by the little nickname he assigned since her birth (he thought she looked like a small soft squishy mochi)

“like mama, please” the toddler replies, remembering the quick braid you wore as you dressed her up in the morning

her father lets out a chuckle, finding her politeness cute because she definitely didn’t get it from him (it was def from you)

“alrighty, comin right up” he separates her hair into three streaks, creating the hairstyle you taught him when you first started dating

in a quick fashion, the braid is neatly completed with a tied

“ya like it, mochi?” he places the end-tail on her small shoulder

she jumps, squealing out of delight. “Yes, papa!”

he crosses his arms, smiling out of content at his work

she hastily grabs his hand, catching him off guard

“cmon! we gotta show mama!”

ꕥ you were making some pancakes for breakfast when you hear ur family approach you from the different room. "Mm! Smells, good, hon" your husband speaks up, catching your attention. Your little girl follows him shouting.

“Momma! Lookit!” she twirls, showing her matching braid with yours. You smile, mouth parting in surprise.

“Wow, love. Aren’t you a pretty little thing!” you flip the last pancake onto the stack, before dusting your hands on the apron you wore and kneeling down to your daughter. She giggles as you tickle her face with kisses.

“Look at us, matching and all,” you say, pinching her cheek. Osamu watches you both with a warm smile on his face. He wants so badly to capture this moment in photo but instead he soaks it in as he leans against the kitchen stool, watching you both. His favorite girls.

Daichi

daichi sat on the living room floor, shuffling through a mini tote full of hairpins, finding one to adorn your little kid’s hair when the girl brings a hairclip from your bedroom

“daddy! how about this one?” she holds up the claw clip. “Mommy’s wearing one…and I wanna wear it too…” she says, shyly.

the clip was humongous, too large for her tiny head but Daichi laughs, agreeing to put it on.

“well alright, darling. Here, let daddy fix.” daichi motions her to the carpeted floor in front of his crossed legs.

she turns around, sitting calmly as he rolls her dark brown hair that matched his own, into a ball before attaching the hairclip on it.

Daichi pats his daughter’s shoulders, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “all done!”

the girl jumps up, giving her grinning father a quick “thanks!” before rushing to her mother who’s washing the dishes

ꕥ you hear the familiar pitter patter of your little one’s steps. “mommy! mommy! look!” the child squeals, bringing your attention. When you notice her hair put up in a ridiculously large clip, you laugh walking over to her after drying your wet hands on a towel.

“whatcha wearin, silly?” you ask as she twirls, showing off the new hairstyle. “daddy made it. so my hair can be like yours!” You giggle, smoothing over the hair that frames her face. “Well, daddy did a good job. Cuz it looks great on you, my pretty,” you coo. At that moment, your husband steps in. He must’ve been standing on the side for a while.

“Thanks. ‘Daddy’ worked hard,” the man says, with a smug look on his face, emphasizing the nickname you used. You send him a knowing look.

“Daddy, you’re silly! All you did was clip it on!” the child laughs, making you both break down in laughter. She was a bright one.

Akaashi

“up, up we go!” Akaashi grunts, lifting his grown toddler onto the stool to fix her hair

he starts a ponytail, when the youngster stops him with her words

“no, daddy!” she asserts. “can you make it like mommy’s hair?”

he laughs. “oh, right, right. I’ll try my best, sweetheart.”

remembering the messy top bun you effortlessly whipped in the morning, he smiles rolling his daughter’s hair into the same style

he uses a mini scrunchie to hold it all together, making her hair appear larger than it was

he hums, impressed by his own work

the toddler looks into the mirror, amazed.

“woah! you did it, daddy!” she squeals.

“I sure did, huh?” he makes little adjustments to her bun before kissing it gently.

ꕥ just then, you poke your head in the kid’s room. “Hey, my loves, breakfast is ready.” Akaashi turns to your voice, moving closer to you to place a peck on your lips.

“Hey,” he greets, even though you were just talking a couple minutes ago. “sweetie, wanna tell mo—” before he could finish his sentence the girl starts leaping.

“Yes! mommy! mommy!” the excited kid jumps toward you and you fully enter the room, kneeling down to her level. You gasp watching the new hairstyle she rocks.

“Baby, what’s this?” you ask the girl, gently touching her hair-bun. 

“Does it look nice?” she asks, wanting your approval. She really looks up to you.

“Of course it does, baby,” you look into the blue orbs your husband gave her, giving a soft smile before placing a tender kiss on her exposed forehead. “You’re so so pretty.” You turn to Akaashi who’s now leaning against the door with a toothy grin. “Just like Daddy.” The comment makes him smirk and chuckle.

“Thank you, but I think mommy deserves some credit too, dont ya think?” The man bends down to his girl who’s looking over at her dad with a smile. 

“I think mommy AND daddy are pretty!” the small girl hops up a little to place a peck on her dad’s cheek, and he picks her up. “You got that right,” you say, smiling at your dear family as you all start walking toward the dining room to eat.

Iwaizumi

Iwaizumi was watching the television, when suddenly his little daughter hopped onto his lap.

“yes, baby-girl?” he asks seeing her tug on the hem of his pajama shirt.

“can you braid my hair like mommy’s?” she whispers into his ear.

his lips curvs into a smile.

“alright, turn around.” he tells her, even though he’s already lifting the little one’s body with little effort.

“no, no, no,” she whispers. “don’t wanna show mommy, yet!” he laughs at her request, watching as she side-eyes you whistling in the kitchen as you happily make toast and bacon for your family.

“Oh, so you wanna surprise her?” he chuckles, moving quietly to the next room with the child in his arm. reaching the bedroom, he finally starts on the braid, something he learned from you.

“annnnnd there we go,” he huffs, before placing a kiss on the crown of your daughter’s head.

she squeals in excitement, playing with the end of her braid. “thank youuuuu.”

“shall we go show mommy?” he asks the dancing child. she nods.

ꕥ you continue to whistle your favorite tune, placing the last bacon into the plate. At that moment, you wear your daughter call to you. “Mommy~” she sing-songed. You pause your whistling and turn around.

“Hey, baby,” you greet her as she jumped into your arms. Iwaizumi leaned against the kitchen counter watching you both with a smile plastered on his face. It took you a few seconds to realize her new hairdo. “Huh, i was wondering what you two were up to,” you snicker, looking back up at the smirking Iwaizumi.

“You like it?” he asks. Your eyes move back to your daughter’s. 

“I love!! What do you think, baby?” Her smile—which is scarily similar to her father’s—shows that she is very satisfied with the result.

“It’s nice! Like yours!” You chuckle, giving her a ticklish kiss on her face. The girl giggles, making Iwaizumi chuckle to himself as he watches you two. “My turn! My turn!” the girl says as you place her back down.

“Oh?” you raise an eyebrow, moving your face closer to the girl’s. She leans up to give you a peck on the cheek.

“Thank you,” you smile, standing back up.

“Okay, daddy’s turn!” she claps. Your eyes crease in amusement turning back to the man who is now grabbing mugs to make some coffee. He stops in his tracks, looking at his daughter with a soft smile.

“Gladly,” he lifts the girl giving her a kiss and blowing a raspberry on her skin, making her giggle. He then faces you with a cunning smile. “Haji, what’re you-” you start but is interrupted by his lips on your cheek, and then blowing a raspberry like he did to your daughter seconds ago. Your daughter cheers on the side, laughing at his actions and you couldn’t help but break into laughter by the ticklish feeling. Moments like these make you grateful to have these two in your life.

Aran

Aran was just done folding some of the unfolded laundry from the previous day when his daughter entered the room with pleading eyes.

“Hey, baby. Need something?” he asks the girl who climbed into his lap.

she points to her space-buns. “I want to match with mama.”

he recalls your high-ponytail braid

“Alright, babygirl,” he chuckles, placing a kiss on her forehead. “You don’t mind if I untangle these?” he ruffles the top of her hair. his daughter shakes her head.

“I like mama’s hairstyle more.”

“Okay, daddy’s got it,” aran says, unraveling her bunned up hair and combining it all together.

he takes a comb, smoothing over loose strands.

“mkay,” he muffles with a hair-tie between his teeth as he finishes the braid, securing the ends. “all done, sweetie.”

Aran watches with his hands now on his lap, satisfied with his work—as always—he’s no stranger when it comes to fixing his daughter’s hair

“thank you,” the young girl thanks gleefully, remembering the manners that you and Aran taught her. She smooths a hand over the tightly-knitted braid, mesmerized by her father’s skills.

“now,” the proud father stands, picking up his giggling child. “Let’s go get some breakfast, shall we?”

ꕥ as they walked into the dining room, you almost bump into them, about to call your family for the prepared food. “Oops!” you laugh, placing a hand over your husband’s arm. “Sorry, my loves.” You place a kiss on his cheek before doing the same to your daughter’s in his arms. Aran whispers a small ‘hey’ as you do. “I was gonna call y—” For a quick second, you pause, noticing the change in your daughter’s hairstyle. Aran grins, seeing your surprised reaction. “Baby!” Your eyes flicker to your daughter’s shy smile. She giggles, hiding her face in her father’s shoulder, feeling shy from your attentive eyes

“See? Mama likes it,” Aran encourages the flustered girl, sending you a knowing look. You mouth an ‘aw’, reaching for her and she turns around once she feels your hands lifting her body. Your husband hands her over to you.

“My baby is so pretty,” you coo as she finally looks to you, giggling. “Look at us.” You flip the matching ponytail braid you wore, flaunting it.

“Mama’s pretty,” the girl stares at your hairstyle, amazed by the length—compared to hers. “When I grow up, I want to be pretty like mama!” You respond by kissing her cheek.

“Oh you’ll be real pretty, believe me. Look at you now, beautiful.” Your compliment makes her confidence grow.

Aran looks at the both of you, amazed by the resemblance. You two are practically twins. He remembers your baby photos and always thought that his daughter was a carbon copy of little you. Except, of course, she has some of his genes, having his eyes, his personality, and charm. She is his most prideful work. Both of yours.

Your husband brings you both in a hug, peppering kisses on your foreheads. Please, please, my heart cant take this, is what he thinks as he’s bringing his girls close in his arms.

[ticklish-n-stuff]

Heizou gets tickled

This is based on this ending from Heizou's hangout cause I mean LOOKIT THEM! SO SILLY! GOD I FUCKING LOVE HIM!!!

I hope this is okay 🥺👉👈

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Lee: Heizou

Ler: Itto

Warnings: Tickles! Spoilers for Heizou's hangout!

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After Heizou's fraud show was a success, it was time to pay up his part of the deal to the one and oni. Itto was practically buzzing in excitement when Heizou handed him a box, inside the pomised onikabuto that looked too good to be true. Well, it turned out it was as it didn't move.

"Oh you didn't honestly think it was real, right? It's just a figure~".

Itto's screech of disappointment rang through all of Inazuma. But before he could give Heizou a piece of his mind, the detective had already bolted out of the scene with the traveller in hand.

"Later!~" he stuck his tongue out cheekily as he made a run for it.

The box with the figure flew over to Paimon as Itto roared, quickly chasing after the two of them.

"Hey! Get back here!!!".

Maybe Itto wasn't the smartest of the bunch, but his physical prowess sure made up for it. It wasn't hard to keep up with the sly detective, until he and the traveller suddenly disappeared out of sight.

"Dammit! Where could they've gone...?" Itto scratched the back of his head, looking around for any signs of the perpetrator and his accomplice (not like the Traveller knew).

Over at a nearby bush, Heizou and the traveller had taken refuge. With the detective snickering at the oni's confused expression and traveller trying to fight off a giddy grin.

"Hmhm, looks like I'm too good for our oni friend~" Heizou snapped cockily, not realizing that his words would soon bite him in the butt.

"Uhh... Heizou?...".

The detective quirked a brow up as the traveller looked past him, when he turned around...

"AHA! I GOTCHA NOW!~".

Itto flew like a flash, launching himself at Heizou. This guy really had no self control, the traveller thought. Looking over as Heizou let out an 'oof' at being tackled to the ground.

"Oh woe is me, looks like I've been bested this time" it sounded like Heizou had admitted defeat, and yet, he was grinning so smugly up at Itto. As if challenging him to do something about it. He really could be a brat when he wanted to...

"This ain't nothing yet, bro! Just you wait 'till I show you the wrath of the Arataki gang leader!~"

As boisterous as Itto could be, his words didn't seem to faze the eccentric detective in the slightest. Feeling frustrated, it was time to take things to the next level.

"Alright hombre, don't say I didn't warn 'ya~" a mischevious grin crossed Itto's lips as he held Heizou's wrists with one hand, pinning the shorter male's arms above his head with ease.

It was faint, but even the oni caught how Heizou's pupils widened ever so slightly, but he still managed to keep his cool.

"How bold of you, Itto. Doing this in front of the Traveller~" the detective teased, even though he was the one being held down.

"Huh?! D-don't give the wrong idea!" The oni sputtered out shamefully. "I just want a little payback for tricking me~" making sure to keep the detective shut for good this time, Itto's hand shot over to the exposed side. His fingers pinching at the soft skin experimentally.

"Wah! W-wahahait! Thahat's a bit of a cheap trihick, even for yohohou!" the detective's body tensed up from the touch. He tried his damnest to keep his reactions at bay, still, a few giggles slipped here and there. The traveller stood by the sidelines, not wanting to get roped into the ticklish attack.

Itto had a smug look as Heizou's composure slowly started to dissolve. "Ohoho?~ Is the ace detective a bit too ticklish for his own good? Besides, this is totally deserved after that stunt you pulled~".

"Oh c'mon, no one gives away a onikabuto for freHEEHEE!" Heizou's heels dug against the ground as he felt the oni's fingers climb up his exposed ribs. Making sure to really poke between each bone. Damn Heizou and his fashion choices!

As Itto's fingers kept going higher, the more desperate Heizou got. Wanting to tease the bratty detective further, the oni massaged his thumb against the highest rib, right below the exposed armpit.

"Mph- nahaHAHA!!" Heizou's laugh would go up and down in pitch against his will, while he tried to muffle it against the side of his arm. Not like it helped much. Traveller found themselves struggling to not laugh at the show the two had put on.

"What was that? Couldn't hear 'ya, buddy~" Itto couldn't help but laugh along, his fingers not relenting for even a second as he finally reached the jackpot.

"GYAH! WAHAIT! OKAHAHAY! I'M SOHOHORRY!" Heizou threw his head back in a fit of cackles. A bright smile and red cheeks adorning his face. All while Itto playfully dug into the exposed armpit.

"I guess even an ace detective has his weakness..." Traveller softly chuckled at watching the playful display between friends.

"IHIHI SURRENDER! PLEHEHEASE!" Heizou wheezed out. It was kinda cute how his laugh went from bright and bubbly to wheezy and airi when you hit the right spot. Still, the detective seemed to be reaching his limit.

The traveller put their hand on Itto's shoulder once Heizou admited defeat, making him stop his onslaught of tickles. The detective took in deep breaths, with the taller male helping him up.

"Haha! How'd you like my allmighty tickle attack?~" Itto placed his hands on his hips with a cocky grin.

"Phew..." Heizou still laughed slightly as he got under control, letting out a deep sigh before continuing. "I'll admit, it was a bit of a dirty trick. So, how about I help you look for an onikabuto? Will that satisfy you?".

It was impressive how quickly Heizou recovered, the traveller thought. Not even a hint of embarrassment on his face, if anything, he looked content with what just happened. After all, he didn't even bother to squirm away...

"Really?! Then what're we waiting for! Let's go!!!".

The traveller's thoughts got put on hold as they got dragged along by the one and oni. With Heizou quickly following suit, both of them with cheerful looks. Spending time with friends was always nice...

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[imfluentinfangirlandgay]

A Father's Resolve - Ch 9

Ingo returns after a decade - with two extra cars in tow. Years later, his kids are swallowed up by time in the same way he was. Will he be able to find them? Will they be able to make it out alive?

Word Count: ~3000

The twins wound their way through the Heartwood to hopefully find this Warden that they'd been told about. Their teams were trained up decently and they were having a grand time trying to write about Buneary. 

“Lookit her!” Akari squealed. “She's so cute!” She ruffled the soft down of the little rabbit she'd caught. It flicked its ear at her in annoyance. Rei did have to admit it was adorable, even if it had a horrible attitude. 

“I got that Silcoon we saw. I'd say let's see what this Warden wants and how to study Kleavor.” Rei tossed a ball in the air and caught it idly as his sister caught up to him on the dirt path, shaking the water from her shoes. She'd fallen in the stream trying to scramble back from a suddenly-livid Psyduck. 

“Fine.” 

Rei rounded the corner, seeing some man-made structures come up in his field of vision. A gateway appeared down the path, with some stone bowls carved from a large boulder in the middle of the arch. And in front of this stood a boy wearing soft pink and a hat that Rei could only describe as a cowboy hat. He was maybe ten with red curly hair and a stern expression on his young face, still trimmed with baby fat. 

Rei stared at the hat. He'd seen it before-

“That's Clay's hat,” Akari whispered to him in Unovan. “Remember fighting his Excadrill? That's totally it. Look at the gem.” She was right. The same green jewel set in the hat, square and sparkling, surrounded by gold trim on white leather. 

“Didn't… didn't Clay say his family was from another region? That they immigrated to Unova?” Rei murmured back. 

Akari simply nodded. 

This was getting weird. First their mother, now Clay's… grandfather? Great-grandfather? More generations? And he was younger than them! 

“I'm Lian, Warden of the Lord of the Woods, Kleavor. You're here to see the mighty Kleavor, ain't ya?” the boy called to them in greeting. Even his voice sounded like a younger version of Clay's! The boy crossed his arms, a smug look on his face. “I can see it on ya. You heard about his awesome power and now he's only become even more powerfully awesome.” He smirked into the crook of his elbow as the twins stepped up to him, finally. “That bolt of lightning charged him… maybe it was almighty Sinnoh's doing? Either way, as much as it pains me, I must turn you away.” 

“But we need to!” Akari blurted out. Lian's eyes flicked to her. He grinned slyly. 

“I must commend your passion, but unfortunately it is not safe. I have been given order by Irida to not let anyone see him right now. So back out now, lest you face the wrath of my Goomy.” 

“I accept,” Akari said before Rei could even think. 

“Akari-” 

“Back up.” She shoved him back and cleared a small space for a battle. Lian sighed and whistled. A small pokemon appeared from behind the stone bowls, a purple blob of a creature. Rei hadn't actually seen a Goomy before but he decided he needed to find one because this thing was perfect. A dopey smile graced what could be called its ‘face’  it had two small eyes and a big grin and it slowly trailed along and Rei needed to get a Goomy right now. 

“Goomy, let's try to ooze some sense into these interlopers!” Goomy gave a cry of challenge and oozed its way to the battlefield. 

Akari picked a ball carefully and tossed it out. Riptide, newly evolved, gave a small cry of its own. It stanced itself up, preparing for a long battle… 

That did not last long. 

Riptide did not take very long to tear through the small Goomy. It was clear that although the boy cared deeply for his partner, it was not very well-trained. He sagged a bit as he conceded defeat. “I still can’t let you through,” he sighed. “It is too dangerous. No one can get through to my Lord- Irida?” 

The twins turned to see the girl behind them, watching with wide, sad blue eyes. “Lord Kleavor is descended from a pokemon blessed by almighty Sinnoh itself. I did not want to have to throw up our hands and ask for help from an outsider but… every moment that he remains like this, the danger grows. If he hurts more people and pokemon, it may cause problems with the Diamond Clan and the Galaxy Team.” She paused, knitting her brows. “I hear that it was that bolt of strange lightning that changed him. Perhaps it was sent by that faulty god the Diamond Clan worships…?” Rei had to restrain himself from pointing out how stupid that sounded. “Regardless, do you both have any ideas how to help him? We care greatly for Kleavor; he means a great deal to our Clan. We do not want him to be hurt.” 

Rei glanced at his sister, who shrugged. It was obvious that they may be on their own with this one. It was hard to say what was wrong with him what they hadn’t even seen him yet. “We’ll figure something out,” was all Rei said. 

“Excellent!” Irida cut between the two and approached Lian, who still stood proud, even if Rei could now see the cracks in his small facade. He was just a boy with a big job he couldn’t handle by himself - and it tore him up on the inside. Rei could see how his eyes darted around, how they desperately scanned Irida’s face for some semblance of good news. How his small hands shook. “Lian and I will gather some of Kleavor’s favorite foods in an attempt to get close enough to make a proper offering. As for you, try to find a way to quell his frenzy, even if you must traverse every corner of Hisui!” 

The twins took that as a dismissal and nodded, turning and striding away. Once out of earshot, Rei asked Akari in Unovan, “What are we even supposed to do? I still don’t know what all this is about.” 

Akari debated as they snuck around the alpha Bibarel, staying quiet until they had passed by safely and were heading up Deertrack Heights. “Let’s ask Laventon. He’s a scientist, right? Maybe he’d have a clue.” 

—----------------------

Emmet shivered as he pulled his coat a little tighter around him. Why was the office so cold? He glanced up over the pile of paperwork he had in front of him, checking the face of the clock on the wall. The little train-shaped hand had a smokestack that pointed to the number five. It was already almost 6:30? Emmet leaned back in his chair, sighing to himself as his back popped. How long had it been since he’d moved? Four hours? His gaze traveled the room as he sat motionless in the cold. 

The walls had several framed photos and posters. The posters were mainly older Gear Station signs and advertisements for past events they had done, like a battle bracket one year for challengers or a holiday or New Year’s event. Emmet’s favorite was the spooky one, personally. Ingo always liked the spring decorations, the small flowers and the pastel colors. The twins had been split on the battle bracket and, for Rei, the scavenger hunt to collect every sticker hidden away on the platforms. The prize for finding them all was an authentic conductor’s hat, though he’d never cared for that. He had plenty. 

There were several photos dotting the area around the two desks, as well. Photos of himself and his team, Ingo and his teams (from Hisui and Unova, as he hadn’t had the chance to release his Hisui team before returning), the twins as they grew up, both with and without their starters, Elesa with all four of them, even a family reunion photo with Drayden and Iris and their extended family on his side. Emmet’s favorite had to be the one he kept on his desk, from when the twins were younger. Ingo’s kids were maybe eight years old, staring intently into the water under Tubeline Bridge, watching for any sort of movement. That is, until Iris had sent her Lapras into the water to prank them, having it pop its head out and making the two scramble back onto the bank with a strangled yelp, landing in a very undignified way on the muddy land on their bottoms. The photo had been taken just as the twins were yelling, Lapras’s face in a soft smile as it ‘greeted’ them. Iris was already in stitches, doubled over in laughter. Even Drayden had chuckled, his eyes shut in merriment, leaving Emmet to laugh openly. Only Ingo hadn’t truly laughed, though his eyes had twinkled as he held it in and made sure they were alright. Other than some bruised pride, they had been perfectly fine. 

He looked at the goofy photo. Emmet had pulled out his camera as soon as he’d seen Iris sneakily send her pokemon into the water someway upstream. It had been taken just downstream, so he could get everyone’s faces from afar. The kids’ eyes were wide as they leapt back - the photo still had them in mid-air, their arms blurry from reeling backwards. Emmet felt that familiar grin creeping up his face as he studied the photo. It always made him smile. Lapras had offered itself to being petted as an apology afterwards, and had even ferried the kids around on its shell for a bit on the water. 

Emmet sighed. He put the photo back and stood up, stretching. A deep sense of melancholy settled itself into his ribcage, sitting more heavy than a stone. His face drooped. It was much harder to make memories like that when the person - or rather, people, in this case - were missing. 

He checked his phone. A message from Drayden checking in, that he hadn’t heard anything yet about the missing kids, but he’d keep searching, he would always keep searching. Iris hadn’t heard anything, either. 

Keep up your hopes, Emmet. They aren’t gone for good. You told me that the first time we went through this, and I know you know it now.

Emmet typed a response as he grabbed his stuff, his day bag now slung over his shoulder. He made sure to unceremoniously dump a bit of the paperwork on Ingo’s desk and to shove some of the more urgent items into his bag. You are correct. I know that. But I am not the one who needs convincing. 

A moment passed as Emmet grabbed his personal items and opened the door to the office. He shut off the lights as he did, making sure not to waste needless power. He made his way down the hallway, checking again for a message. To his surprise, there was one. Drayden usually did not answer this quickly. I’m sure. Perhaps me and Iris can stop by sometime. Try to break him out of the horrid spell I’m sure he’s still under. It’s been how long now? This was about the time you became despondent. 

He entered the control room. Two or three Agents milled about, checking in on the monitors and speaking in low tones. They looked up as Emmet entered and waved to him. “Everything steady?” Emmet asked them. 

“Sure is, Boss. Just passengers and us left for the night shift. Only engine Orange being ran for the overnight shift. All others are already in the warehouse being assessed and cleaned.” The olive-skinned woman pulled up a camera feed, making it larger on the biggest screen in the center. It showed several large engines being serviced by night crew.

“Perfect.” Emmet put a cup in the coffee maker by the door and pressed what flavor he wanted. Mostly black, just a bit of cream. “Need anything else from me? I know I disappeared today. Lots of paperwork to catch up on.” 

“I don’t think so, Boss.” A pale man with glasses swiveled in his chair to face him. “Have a good night. We’ll see ya back here tomorrow morning. Wish Boss Ingo our best.” The other Depot Agents nodded solemnly. Though it had never been formally announced that the kids were missing, they all certainly knew. It was taboo to talk about it in the station, but the Agents were always sure to leave kind regards and if Ingo didn’t come in for a few days, it was never mentioned. 

“You as well. All aboard,” Emmet responded, more out of habit than anything. He snagged his cup and placed a lid on top as he snuck out of the station. He checked his phone again, typing out a response to his uncle. If you want to see him acting more like a stale piece of bread than a human, consider yourself invited. It’s hard to get him to do anything these days. I’ve been holding down the Station more often than not. Even if he does go in, he just stares at the wall. I’ve never seen him so invested in a book in my entire life than the history books he reads. 

He waved to the Agent by the door as he swung open the glass doors to the station and swept out into the warm night. Emmet sighed in contentment as he clutched his coffee. The sky was that ethereal orange seen across Unova. Light pollution had its large claws sunk deep into the region, and unfortunately, no night was truly the inky black he remembered on his trip to Alola with Ingo all those years ago. Street lights threw that ugly yellow undertone to everything that they always did. Quite a few people were out tonight, though Emmet supposed that was normal for seven at night on a Thursday in the summer. He wondered if there were any events, musical or battle-oriented or otherwise, that were going on soon in Nimbasa. There was almost always something. He passed under the one that flickered as he walked, checking his device yet again. A certain someone else I can think of was much the same. We will come by this weekend. Don’t worry about making the house too clean, we’ve definitely seen worse. Emmet could almost hear his uncle’s soft chuckle that accompanied it. Is there anything we should bring as well? Food, pokemon treats, anything of that sort? 

I don’t think so, Emmet typed, walking under another street light. He could see the bus stop in the distance. A few others were already at the stop, waiting for the next bus to arrive. He stood just outside the covered bench, leaning on a lamp post as he typed. I need to do some grocery shopping soon, so let me know if you want anything specific to snack on. It’s mostly just me doing things in the house these days. The Joltik aren’t as rowdy, either. The next clutch hasn’t hatched just yet and most of last year’s have already relocated to Chargestone and the tunnels.

This will be your eighteenth clutch, correct? 

Emmet glanced up as he thought about when he had first started officially breeding them. It would have been toward the tail end of Ingo’s absence. Elesa had convinced him that he needed some hobby other than going to work all the time, and she had remembered him talking about getting into breeding when he was younger, so she had bought him a book about the basics of pokemon breeding. That must have been during the eighth year of Ingo’s disappearance, and if he’s having one clutch a year and its been about ten years since he reappeared-

“Subway Boss Emmet?” Emmet blinked himself from his thoughts and glanced around. The person who had spoken was an older woman sitting on the bench. No one else around paid them any mind, some with earbuds in, some engrossed in something on their Xtrans. 

“Hm?” Emmet hummed to the woman, alerting her that he’d heard what she’d said. He let his hand with the phone screen fall somewhat, turning his attention to her. 

The woman had very light hair, almost white, long and very wispy, held up in a dark hat. She also had a dark dress. It almost looked like she was dressed for a funeral. She smiled up at him, the wrinkles around her eyes deepening in the glow of the orange street lamp above them. “I heard about what happened recently. Things will become right again for you.” 

He blinked. Honestly, this left him at a loss for words. “I- uh. T-Thank you? Thank you.” He regained his composure. “It will take some time, but I know the tracks will be rideable once more.” 

She chuckled as she looked up. Emmet could see the bus in the distance. “It will indeed. My great-great niece would love you. She is very into history, you see, much like my nephew was… oh, what a strong-willed man, he was. Is! That never left him.” 

As she rambled, Emmet’s mind was reeling. Who was this woman? He didn’t think she’d ever seen him before. The fact that she recognized him by sight alone was nothing odd, he was something of a local celebrity, especially in uniform. He was about to ask what she meant when she glanced around again and shook her head. “It seems my stop is coming. I wish you could meet my lovely niece. She would want to talk to you for days about Hisui and the heroes-” 

“You know about Hisui?” Emmet asked incredulously. He needed to know more. He needed-

“Good luck, Emmet. Keep your brother strong. The children are looking for him.” The bus’s headlights engulfed his vision for a moment, making him blink. As soon as he opened his eyes to ask her what she meant, the bench was empty. Emmet whirled around, looking for the old woman, but she was nowhere to be seen. The door to the bus opened with a mechanical hiss. Other passengers began to climb aboard. Emmet gave one last glance around as he climbed aboard next, shivering under his coat, trying to shake the feeling of being watched. 

[First] - [Previous] - [Next]

[fractiouslemonofficial]

This is the original version of the n00bs strip for August 16, 2022. The co-creator and I agreed the outburst was less in character for Mr. Noobman, but I loved the final panel on this one too much to trash it.

Lookit Joe there. Lookit that smug grin. He knows exactly what he did. Little creep.

———————————————

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[ko-chronicles]

“Hey buddy want some ripped DVDs of my show?”

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

Hihihihi~ love how you write!

Mm this is for the holiday gift thing: Star + Loceit or Losleep

aaaa thank you!!! and ooh yes i love it!! human au with losleep, here you go!!

-

Remy flung open the door of the bedroom. “Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. Ba—”

“What is it, dearest?” Logan asked with an amused sigh, looking up from his laptop, where he was editing the third chapter of his dissertation.

“What’s that website where you can name a star?” Remy asked, draping himself over the back of the armchair Logan was sitting in. “And get like a little certificate and shiz?”

“I don't recall.” Logan frowned. “Their claims are unrecognized by the scientific community and have little basis in reality.”

“That’s what I thought you'd say,” Remy said smugly. “C’mere.” He grabbed Logan’s hand and tugged, attempting to drag him upwards over the back of the chair.

Logan got to his feet instead. “What are we doing, again?” he inquired.

“Come here,” Remy insisted, dragging Logan all the way through their apartment and out onto the little balcony outside the kitchen. It was already dark, even at barely five in the evening. “Okay. Okay okay okay.” He bounced on the balls of his feet, looking very pleased with himself.

“It’s cold,” Logan observed.

“Shut up, we can cuddle and make out when we go inside and then you’ll be all warmed up. Lookit. I had an idea.”

“Do tell,” Logan prompted, intrigued in spite of himself. He rubbed his hands briskly up and down his arms to warm himself.

“Okay. So you said that website thing is all made up, yeah?”

“Yes.” Logan had no idea where this was going; Remy was all smugness and eager smiles.

“But like, it still means a lot to some people. Even without it being sciencey. Right?” Remy pressed.

“I—I suppose,” Logan admitted.

“Like, basically what they’re doing is just saying, ‘I love you so much I want to give you a whole entire star, so I decided this one is for you.’ It’s about sappy shit like that, right? And it literally only matters because they say it does?”

Logan considered this. “That’s rather sweet, actually. I suppose that is a fair interpretation. What does that have to do with—”

“Okay,” Remy interrupted, grinning, “now tell me your favorite star in the sky. I know you have one, you nerd. Point it out for me.”

Logan blinked, his cheeks flushing. “Well—” He hesitated, feeling almost shy, warm butterflies waking in his stomach.

“C’mon, sugar. Show me.” Remy wrapped his arm around Logan’s waist from behind him, hooking his chin over Logan’s shoulder and resting his other hand on the back of Logan’s own. “Which one?”

Very aware of Remy’s soft breath on his ear and neck, and face ablaze in a way that was somehow not unpleasant, Logan hesitantly raised his hand, searching the sky until he could pick it out. “Over there. Just—just above that tree, and then a little to the left. The second one. It—it doesn’t have any significance, but I—I just like it. Why?”

“Great,” Remy said happily. “I’m naming it after you.”

Logan choked on air, even though he had formed a vague idea of what direction this was probably going. “I—you—what?”

“I’m naming it after you,” Remy repeated, pressing a loud smack of a kiss to the side of Logan’s neck. “Me, here, right now. That’s the Logan star now. I don’t give a damn what anyone else says.”

Logan’s heart was doing funny little flips in his chest. “Oh,” he managed, his voice coming out incredibly flustered.

“Yeah.” Remy grinned and pressed another kiss to Logan’s cheek.

“It—it’s not the official name for it,” Logan said, just in case Remy had somehow forgotten this.

“I know. It’s the me name for it.” Remy grinned, spinning Logan around and catching him by the hands. “Cause I loooooove you. Enough to give you a whole star all to yourself.”

Logan found he was smiling uncontrollably. “Remy?”

“Yeah, babes?”

“That’s—you’re—I love you too,” Logan blurted. “More than stars.”

Remy’s face melted into an expression of pure delight. “Awww,” he cooed, hands moving to Logan’s waist and pulling him closer.

Logan leaned into the warmth of his boyfriend’s body, burying his face happily in the taller man’s shoulder. “You said something about making out,” he said into Remy’s neck. 

“Hell yeah,” Remy agreed at once.

“I would like that, please,” Logan said. “But we should go inside first. Where it’s warm.”

“You got it, hot stuff.” Remy bent and without warning scooped Logan’s legs right out from under him, lifting him off his feet and laughing when Logan yelped and flung his arms around Remy’s shoulders for stability.

Remy carried Logan back into the apartment. “You know,” he said, setting Logan on his feet and shutting the balcony door, “you should finish your PhD faster.”

Logan let out a startled laugh, following Remy to the couch. “Why?” he asked as they sat and Remy tugged him into his lap.

“Cause then I’ll be able to say that kissing you is just what the doctor ordered,” Remy said matter of factly. He reached up to cup Logan’s face in his hand.

“Ah, I see.” Logan leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and smiling. “I’ll get right on that.”

“Hell yeah,” Remy said. He drew Logan down to rest their foreheads together. “You’re prettier than every star there ever was, you know,” he murmured.

Logan’s face split in a grin, and instead of bothering to answer, he pressed his lips to Remy’s, feeling splendidly warm inside and out.

-

[send me a prompt and get a small fic!]

[gojira007]

🌊👑😏

Blackness.

Silence.

A low ache in his head…a salty burn in his throat…

Sonic knew he wasn’t dead, but then what…?

Water. The last thing he remembered was water, all around him, pulling him down, filling his lungs…!

The fear carried in that memory was enough to snap the hedgehog awake, and he sat up with his eyes open wide, gasping and coughing all the way.  His rise was stopped, however, by a gentle yet pointed hand pressing onto his chest.  Its cold, wet feel caught Sonic by surprise, but even so it proved the right anchor for him to hold onto as his breath calmed and his senses adjusted.  He was…in a cave?  Yes…with a small fire as the only light, and a deep pool of water as its entrance.  And the hand belonged to…

“…holy crap…” the hedgehog whispered hoarsely.

There in front of him knelt a creature covered in shimmering amber scales (though the scales that ran along the center of her chest were thicker and shined a crystalline blue), sharp fin-like ears pointing out from a sleek round head which was topped off by a shock of curly auburn hair.  She looked at him with large shimmering eyes the color of the deepest briniest ocean, little fangs lightly poking out of a mouth that was set in an inquisitive bent.  “Holy crap,” Sonic repeated, voice a bit stronger this time, “it’s you!”

His tone visibly puzzled the creature, who tilted her head and quirked her brow.  “You…?” she repeated with a curious tone, her voice at once coarse and bubbly, but also warm and calm.

Sonic’s eyes widened, quills fluffing up a bit.  “Do you…do you understand me…?” he whispered eagerly.

The creature nodded.  The hedgehog’s whole face lit up.

Before she could stop him, Sonic was on his feet, pacing in excited circle around the cave floor, fingers wiggling up and down.  “Thisisamazingthisisamazingthisisamaziiiiiiiing!!!I” he practically hummed.  “You’re real!  Like, actually factually real!  I knew it, I knew it, oh I can’t wait to rub this in his smug stupid face…!”

He stopped with a squeak, however, when he felt that cool hand pointedly take hold of his tail.  He looked down to see the creature staring back at him with a bemused grin.  “Very…talky…” she said, “for Lander…who almost…drown.”

“…heh…right, that….” Sonic chuckled, scratching his head a bit.  “Sorry, I just…I’ve been looking for you for a very long time!”

He sat back down, curling his legs around each other and folding his hands behind them; the creature almost seemed to giggle as she watched the little way he rocked back and forth on his haunches.  “You…know…me…?” she asked, and though her smile remained there was caution in her tone.

“Sort of…” Sonic replied.  “There have been rumors ‘n’ legends about you for as long as I can remember.”  He looked up and moved his hand dramatically across, as if gesturing to a marquee.  “The Queen of the Waves!”  The creature snorted irritably at that, prompting Sonic to bring his hand down in a placating gesture.  “Hey, don’t lookit me, I didn’t come up with it!”

“You…come hunting…for me?” the queen asked, her expression coming now to match her guarded tone. 

“No!” Sonic answered quickly.  “Not ‘hunt’.  ‘Search’.  We didn’t wanna hurt you, just…prove that you exist, y’know?”

“’We’…?”

“Me ‘n’ my team.”

“Other…Landers…?”

Sonic nodded.  “The Chaotix, we call ourselves.  Explorers ‘n’ adventurers by trade!”  He gave a playful little flex at that, and the creature’s guarded expression slipped for just a moment as she had a little laugh. 

“You get…into danger…often, then?” she asked amusedly.

“Oh, all the time,” Sonic answered in kind.  He scratched the back of his head before adding, “…which I guess is how I wound up here in the first place, huh?”

The creature nodded.  “Black Tide,” she said, making a wave-like motion with her hands, “…very powerful.  Keeps…most Landers…away….”

“’Cept the really stubborn ones,” Sonic chuckled.  “Hell, I hate the water ‘n’ I still risked it, that’s how hard-headed I am.”

“Stubborn,” the queen repeated with a nod.  “But…stubborn…survives.”

Their eyes met then, and Sonic gently sat back down, a little closer to her this.  “With a little help from a living legend, anyway,” he said.  “Thank you for that.  I owe you, big time.”

She broke her gaze away from his at that.  “I…know…the Black Tide…well.  It is…my duty.”

“Well, duty or not, I’m still grateful,” Sonic answered earnestly.  His tone lowered a bit, however, as he added, “Did anyone else from the Chaotix…?”  She quickly shook her head, and the hedgehog let out a relieved sigh.  “Hope that doesn’t change while they’re out lookin’ for me.”

“Good reason…to help you…find them…quickly, then,” the creature said, promptly slipping into the water behind her.

“Whoa, hold up a sec,” Sonic said, approaching the pool carefully.  “What about you?”

“What about me?” the creature replied confusedly, and Sonic noticed her voice sounded a bit stronger now, no longer pausing between words. 

“Well…I mean, like I said, I came all this way t’see you, ‘n’ you’ve listened t’me yammer on about myself long enough.  I’d…like to know about you, is all.”

She hummed lowly, her fin-ears drooping a bit.  “…I mean, if that’s OK…?” Sonic quickly added.

Her humming continued as she sank deeper into the water, brows deeply furrowed.  After a moment, however, she rose back up.  “Alright,” she said, “you can know.  A little.  But only if you promise to keep that knowledge safe.”

Sonic flashed her a big thumbs up.  “The hedgehog’s word is his bond,” he said with a wink.

Again the creature laughed, and again Sonic noticed that, while she was in the water, it sounded even brighter than before.  “So,” she said, “what do you want to know?”

“Well, given how much you don’t like ‘Queen of the Waves’,” Sonic said, “how about we start with your name?”

She scratched her chin thoughtfully.  “It’s difficult for Landers to pronounce,” she said, “but…”

Her teeth chattered and she let out a high-pitched hiss, her claws trailing the water in swift intricate patterns.  It took Sonic a moment to register her meaning, and once he had, all he could say was, “…wow, you were not kidding.”

“Don’t worry,” the queen chuckled wryly, “my father taught me a long time ago, there’s actually a Lander equivalent to it.”

“Couldn’t lead with that?”

She smirked.  “I thought an explorer like you might appreciate it.”

He smirked back.  “And you were right.  But I can’t say I’d mind knowing a name I can actually say for you.”

“Sally,” she said.  “You can call me Sally.”

[shyneanon]

There is only one bed with red

I bet you thought I was never gonna respond to this one, huh, anon? Nope! I just had to rewrite it like five million times before I felt like it was actually not terrible. lol

Hope you enjoy this even though it’s been foreeeeeever.

---

“Well. Lookit that.”

You stared at the single available bed in the single available room, pretty immaculately kept.

“There’s only one bed,” said Red, leaning against the wall. “How unfortunate.”

You stared at it for a while, then looked back at him. He was flashing his gold tooth at you in a smug grin.

Nope.

“It’s fine,” you said. “I can sleep on the floor.”

His smile vanished.

“Hey,” he said, “hold on, sweetheart. I c’n sleep on the floor.”

Actually kind of nice of him to offer, but as much as he annoyed you… no. “It’s cool, I can do it.”

“Nah, it’s gonna make me feel like trash if I letcha sleep on the floor.”

“Well, ditto.”

He grinned. “Ooh, I gotta solution. How ‘bout we both sleep on the floor?”

You held in a laugh, trying your best to give him a deadpan look. Don’t laugh, don’t laugh….

He waggled his brows at you.

And you let out a snort.

You started to set your things down and move onto the floor but Red shoved you towards the bed. “No,” he said, “I don’ wanna feel like an asshole.”

“You are an asshole,” you said.

“Sure but I don’ wanna feel like one…!”

“OK,” you said, “fine.” Whatever, his loss. You climbed into the bed and got under the covers, and you turned a bit as Red lay down on the floor.

… Dammit.

You sighed. I’m going to regret this.

“Red,” you said.

He turned with an oddly soft smile. “Yeah, beautiful?”

Your face turned warm. His nicknames are more effective than they should be. “Just get in the stupid bed.”

“Oh?” A brow rose, and the soft smile was gone. “Feeling bonely?”

“Don’t,” you said, moving over. “You just look so pathetic on the floor, I can’t do it.”

“Sure, sure.” He moved the covers aside and slid under them with you. “You tell yerself that.”

“I will shove you back onto the floor, Red.”

He shut his mouth (figuratively speaking), and you shut your eyes. He was surprisingly warm for a skeleton, perhaps due to wearing a jacket all day. Since he didn’t have the jacket on, though, you were far more aware of the fact that he was literally just… bone. You could feel his actual spine… It was kind of weird, but not weird enough to keep you up. You were just glad he wasn’t getting handsy. Though the truth was that him getting touchy hadn’t been your main concern. In reality, you tried to avoid having to share a bed with anyone. There was a, um, bad habit of yours that people had informed you of.

But hopefully you wouldn’t do anything crazy tonight.

---

Red was awoken by the feeling of something lying across his whole body.

What the hell?

He was on his side, and he attempted to push it off, but it didn’t budge. Groggy and annoyed, he awkwardly twisted and wriggled until he was on his back and could see what the fuck it was….

It was you.

He squinted, thinking he might be insane, but yeah. It was you. You were lying on top of him. A bit awkwardly, one of your legs was pointing in the direction of your side of the bed, but your head was where the crook of his neck would be, and you were breathing softly.

Red’s face lit on fire instantly.

“Sweetheart?” he mumbled, even though he was pretty sure you couldn’t hear him. When had this happened? Had it happened in your sleep? Had you done this on purpose?

You sighed in your sleep.

Oh… oh my God.

What if she likes me?

Had you instinctively cuddled up to him in your sleep because you… liked him? Or… maybe you liked his smell, or the way lying on him felt… Red was a bit embarrassed to find that he felt giddy, but the giddiness overrode the embarrassment.

“Sweetheart,” he repeated softly, gently wrapping his arms around you. You snuggled closer and he felt his soul start to hum.

We’re… so close….

She’s so cute when she’s asleep….

“You are the most adorable thing,” he said. He knew you couldn’t hear. That was the nice part; he could say whatever he wanted. He started to readjust your stray leg with his own, and his face warmed up even more when you curled your leg around his. He let out a small sound of surprise.

“Baby, you’re uncooperative…. Hah….”

Not that he, uh, minded… having your legs like this….

“Aren’t you just the sweetest,” he purred, pulling you closer. His soul was picking up. While you were asleep he felt no need to maintain his tough guy persona, so he cooed. “Yer cute as hell.”

He nuzzled you, holding you close.

He never wanted to let go….

“Don’t worry,” he said softly, lifting one finger and stroking your cheek. “I’ll keep you safe.” He closed his eyes, relishing the feeling washing over his soul while the two of you were so near each other. “Jus’ stay right here… with me, yeah?”

One hand tangled in your hair and he sighed. It was so soft…. You moved closer to him, making a soft hum, and Red’s grin widened, his soul melting into a puddle.

This was the best night of his life.

—

When your mind started to barely lift out of its unconscious state, the first thing you noticed was that it did not feel like you were lying on the mattress.

The second thing you noticed was that a pair of arms were around you. What the… Red? Why was he…

Oh. Oh no.

I climbed on him in my sleep, didn’t I?

It was a weird habit you’d never would’ve known about were it not for the unlucky victims who had told you about it. You had never woken up on top of someone before— you always woke up next to the person in the morning, in the same spot where you’d fallen asleep, and then they would tell you about how they’d woken up in the dead of night to find your entire body lying on top of them. It also apparently took a lot of effort to push you off, especially since attempts would usually result in you immediately trying to climb back onto them.

Red, uh, didn’t seem to be making any attempts to push you off, though.

“Hah, sweetie… You look so stupid when yer asleep….”

Did he know you were awake? Judging from his low volume, you were pretty sure that no, he didn’t.

His finger wiped the side of your mouth and then immediately withdrew, and you heard him laughing as quietly as possible. Yep, he was trying not to wake you up.

“Gross!” he whispered, and you heard the sound of his hand brushing against the fabric of, presumably, his clothes. “You drool in your sleep!”

More quiet laughter. If you blushed visibly you’d give yourself away, so you just buried your face in his collarbone. Embarrassing.

“... Ah… doll….”

A hand was gently placed on your back.

“I wish we could do this all the time,” he said softly. If he thought you were asleep he wasn’t saying this to flirt with you.

He meant it, then?

“Why’ve you gotta be so damn adorable, huh? M… My soul’s going crazy over here….”

A hand ran through your hair. He was being unusually gentle….

“Then again, that happens a lot when I’m with you.”

Your face got hotter; thank goodness he couldn’t see it from this angle.

His teeth pressed against your forehead. A kiss?

“I wish… I had the guts tah tell ya how I feel.”

Huh? Not… not like… romantically, right?

“You make me feel amazing. Like… really amazing, I… I dunno how t’put it in words cuz I’m real bad with words. S’why I can’ bring myself to tell you, I wanna tell you but every time I open my goddamn mouth all I say is somethin’ suggestive.”

Some silence. Should you tell him that you were awake? You were basically eavesdropping right now.

But at the same time…

“‘N, admittedly… I wish I was good fer you. Which I’m not, I’m… I’m fuckin’ me.”

Why did your heart suddenly ache?

“I’m lazy, I’m sleazy, I dress stupid, I act stupid, I can’t communicate like an adult to save my damn life…. An’ I… I’ve done a lotta bad things. Y… ya should get with some sweet guy who’s responsible ‘n shit.” He muttered: “Lookit me, fuckin’ swearing while I’m tryna talk about my feeli— Fantastic, I did it twice.”

It took all the effort you had to not giggle.

“I wish I was good for you. Ah, sweetie, I’d… I’d take such good care of you, I really would. Or, I’d try. Tryin’ is… really all I could do, t’be honest.”

Trying is all anyone can do.

“... Too bad I suck, yeah?”

Your heart ached again. Red didn’t suck, he was a good guy…. It was probably best to tell him that you were awake before he spilled any more personal information.

“You don’t suck,” you mumbled, turning your head.

“‘M sorry, dollface, did I wake you up with my rambling? I’ll be quiet.”

“No, I’ve been awake for a while.”

His whole body froze up.

“... Ya have?”

“Yeah.”

“H… How much of what I was just saying did you—“

“All of it.”

There was a long, awkward silence.

“I’m sorry,” you said, “I should’ve said something—“

“Fuck,” he said, and you lifted your head. His eye sockets were squeezed shut.

“No, Red, it’s OK—“

“No it’s not, I’ve been makin’ a sappy ass outta myself an’ now I prob’ly made you feel guilty—“

“You didn’t make me feel guilty—“

“Jus’ please don’t say that we should go on a date cuz I know you’re only doing it to make me feel better ‘bout myself—“

“Shut up, Red.”

His eye sockets opened and he looked down at you. You could see the two red lights standing out in the darkness. “... Huh?”

“Stop wallowing in self-hatred and listen to me.”

He said nothing. You would take that as cooperation.

OK, he was listening. So, uh… what should you say?

You actually didn’t know.

So you just kissed him.

Initially he just froze up, but after a moment his arms wrapped around you and he pulled you close, kissing back. W… Wow, this feels really good…. You moved into a better position and felt your hair spill down onto him.

“Sorry,” you said as the kiss parted.

“Sorry?” Red cupped the back of your head and gave you a second fervent kiss. “What the hell for? Ya just kissed me.”

“My hair is kinda touching you.”

“Oh no,” he said in monotone, “how awful. Kiss ruined.”

You snickered and leaned down to press your forehead against his. He looked up at you with fuzzy eyelights.

“I don’ deserve your love,” he said quietly. You smiled back.

“Nobody deserves love, Sans. That’s why it’s so special when someone loves us anyway.”

“You deserve love,” he said, “from somebody better than me.”

“That’s awfully vague.” You kissed his cheek. “And besides, I don’t want love from this person you call ‘somebody better than me.’”

He smiled.

“I want love from you.”

“Hah,” he said, and you saw his eyelights change… They were like hearts now. “Sweetheart, trust me, you already have all my love.”

Your face heated up. “That’s really romantic,” you told him.

“... It is?”

A giggle escaped you. “Yes, Sans.”

You kissed his nasal ridge.

“So?” you said with a smile. “You gonna ask me out or not?”

His eyelights got fuzzy again. “Ya think maybe we could go out sometime, beautiful?”

After kissing his cheek, you said, “I’d love that.”

“So, uh…” He looked at the way you two were positioned. “You think… we could do this more?”

“Absolutely.”

You lay your head down on his ribcage.

“We should fall back asleep,” you told him.

“Sure thing, angel.”

Drifting off took no time at all.

[writer-room]

Siblings: Chapter One

AO3

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Summary: The Bats reflect on how their thoughts about siblings have changed over the years. Some opinions stayed, others didn't.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dick always wondered what it’d be like to have a little brother or sister.

He recalled asking his parents why he didn’t have one. Not accusatory, just curious.

His mother had smiled and said that they had their hands full plenty with Dick, and he was all they needed. His father, while still kind, said that they didn’t really have the time or resources in the circus at the moment to add another child to the family.

Dick was disappointed, but he understood the reasons.

Even still, he’d find himself staring at the kids that watched the acts with awe. Older kids lighty taunted their younger siblings, ruffling their hair and pretending they were too good for it all, and that they were doing their siblings a favor by being there. Kids who nudged their brother or sister to distract and steal the snacks from concession stands, later whispering words that’d make the other gape or giggle. Young children holding their sibling who was of toddler age or younger, pointing towards parts of the acts, their glee growing upon seeing the excitement of their sibling.

Dick hadn’t been lonely growing up in Haly’s Circus, he had his parents and the other people who worked there, from the handlers to the clowns to the tricksters. 

And yet, he still found himself watching the kids who’d come in with one, or even two or three, brothers and sisters, taunting and laughing and sharing their wonder.

A sibling would’ve been nice, he thinks mournfully. It might’ve even been fun.

Ah, well. At least he had the circus.

,

“Hey, hey Dick. Dick. Dick, lookit.”

“If I turn around and I see you about to push Damian off the roof, I’m breaking your helmet.”

“You wouldn’t.”

Dick sighed, turning back from where he was keeping an eye on the streets below. Jason, who’d only been a few feet away, immediately took this moment to seize Tim, who had been too busy looking through his binoculars to care about whatever the two had been doing, and proceed to chuck him off the roof.

Dick pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan as Tim’s undignified shriek was cut off by him catching himself on a fire escape below, scrambling to get a good hold on so he didn’t fall the rest of the way.

“What?” Jason huffed. “You said not to push Damian, and I didn’t push Damian.”

“Of course,” Dick replied sarcastically. “My mistake, I’ll be sure to rephrase it as don’t push anyone off the roof.”

“Now that’s just unreasonable,” Jason huffed, hand on his hip as Steph and Cass snickered from the nearby chimney they were perched on. “I can think of plenty of people who deserve to be pushed off roofs. Like Scarow, for example. Bastard made me break my good hand last month and I still need to shoot a bullet in his back for that one.”

“Then don’t push your family off roofs, is that enough for you?” Dick sighed, standing up and peering over the edge of the roof. “You alright down there, Tim?”

“Names,” Damian finally chastised, not once having glanced over to the others from where he was on the corner of the roof, farthest as he could get from them.

“Oh, sure, now you worry.” Tim grumbled from the fire escape, finally pulling himself to his feet and brushing himself off. “Dick, please tell me I have permission to stab out Jason’s eye.”

“You do not.”

“He’d be fine!” Tim complained, snagging a hand on the stairs and instead pulling himself up along the outside of the fire escape instead of walking up the steps like a normal human being. “Harper could probably make him a new functional one in two days if she's in a good mood.”

“I’m not making him a new eye in two days. Maybe two weeks.” Harper informed from the other side of the roof, also ignoring the others as she tinkered with some gadget.

“Get anywhere near me and I’ll cough on you,” Jason threatened, also peering down off the roof. “You have basically no immune system, you’d die in a week. A long, painful death. Poetic cinema, really.”

“If you say it's poetic because you were beaten with a crowbar for two hours, I’m dropkicking you.” Steph warned, eyes narrowed.

“You’re so mean to me,” Jason gasped, placing a hand on his chest as he turned. “What did I ever do to deserve this? I’m nice to you!”

“No, you’re not.” Chorused Dick, Tim, Damian, Steph, and an extra voice through their earpieces.

“Wow, thanks, Babs.” Jason grumbled. “Showing up just to bully me, typical.”

“Names,” Damian warned a second time.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Babs crackled through their earpieces. “You’re not the only one I bully.”

“Everyone please stop harassing Jay,” Dick pleaded, though it came out more as an exhausted sigh.

“Names,” Damian growled a third time, losing his patience.

“I know it's fun,” Dick continued, ignoring him. “But this is supposed to be a scouting mission, and I’d rather he didn’t start taking out petty revenge during patrol.”

“I have no idea why he’s so surprised we get bored when scouting,” Steph mumbled quietly, to which Cass simply shrugged.

“You have no faith in me,” Jason snorted, and Dick could tell he was rolling his eyes under his helmet.

“I have plenty of faith in you,” Dick soothed. “I also, however, know how you are.”

“Don’t worry,” Steph raised a hand. “I already lost faith in you when you tried to kill Tim.”

“Which time?”

“Steph, don’t taunt him. Do it back at the Manor.” Dick lightly scolded.

“How many times do I have to repeat this?” Damian snapped, whirling from his post to glare at the others. “We do not use names on patrol!”

“Doesn’t Jon call you D on patrol?” Harper raised a brow, glancing towards him.

“That is different! He does not use my actual name!”

“Hypocrite,” Jason coughed under his breath.

Tim finally swung back onto the roof, skillfully rolling and dodging when Jason attempted to immediately kick him off again. Tim rolled close to the chimney, quickly pulling out his bo staff and crouching, glaring at Jason. It was reminiscent of two cats in a standoff, arched backs but neither of them making the first strike yet.

“Do not fight,” Cass said calmly. 

“Thank you, C--” Dick hesitated, glancing at Damian for a brief moment. “--Orphan.”

“Fight in Cave,” Cass continued cheerfully. “We have sparring mats for reasons.”

“And I take that back.”

“You wanna hang with the cool kids?” Steph asked, leaning off the chimney to offer her hand.

“Yes. Have I mentioned you’re my favorite person?” Tim grinned, putting his staff away as he took the offered hand and was pulled onto the chimney beside Steph and Cass.

“You could stand to say it more often,” Steph teased.

“Cheaters,” Jason grumbled, relenting that fighting both Steph and Cass to get Tim was a losing battle.

The three were rather squished on the chimney, but none of them seemed to mind. Harper only rolled her eyes and went back to tinkering.

“We really need to bring D--Signal on one of these things.” Dick muttered, shaking his head.

“Because he’s sensible, or because you want him to suffer like the rest of us?” Tim raised a brow.

“Because he deserves the same family bonding time.” Dick said simply.

“Duke and Cullen are next to me listening in on this,” Barbara said through the communicators. “I am here to inform you that Duke is both touched and terrified.”

“The bumblebee was awake and didn’t even bother to join us?” Harper snorted. “Rude.”

“Cullen agrees with you.”

“He better,”

“I’m taking a ten hour nap after this,” Dick complained, sitting back on the edge of the roof, legs dangling in the open air as he leaned back dramatically on his hands. “I deserve it. Self-care and all that.”

“That is the length of a normal amount of sleep.” Damian raised a brow.

“Not in this family, it’s not.”

“Preach!” Tim pumped a fist.

“You don’t count, Tim.” Dick chastised, leaning his head back to look at Tim upside down. “Everyone here remembers to sleep at the latest once every two days. You don’t sleep for five.”

“I’m being harassed,”

“You’re being bullied into a proper sleep schedule.” 

Damian suddenly whacked Dick over the head, startling him with a yelp as Jason hid a snicker. Harper and Cass looked over for a moment before continuing with whatever they had previously been doing.

“Names!” Damian hissed. “Do you all want your identities revealed?”

“Literally nobody is here,” Harper pointed out.

“If Gotham hasn’t found out our identities by now, they never will.” Steph snorted.

“Especially finger-stripes over here.” Tim added, a smug expression on his face.

“A nine-year-old finds out your identity one time and you never hear the end of it.” Dick muttered under his breath before sitting up and proceeding to snatch Damian, who had been previously stalking towards the others, by wrapping an arm around his chest and tugging him closer as the boy squawked.

“You were using a Flying Grayson move, dude.” Tim deadpanned. “You gotta pay the price for being flashy for no other reason than because you can.”

“That’s his entire personality.”

“Why do you all hate me?” Dick whined, holding a squirming Damian close as he gave the boy a noogie. “What did I do to gain such torment?”

“You want the list?” Harper looked up, finally putting away whatever she was tinkering with.

“We alphabetized,” Cass added.

“Wrote on the front and back,” Steph nodded sagely.

“I’m adding three more to the list when we get back,” Damian growled, looking ready to bite Dick if he didn’t stop soon.

“You better be joking about that list,” Dick warned, releasing Damian for his own safety. “Because if I ever find a list of reasons to be mean to me, I will not show mercy.”

“Do you mean you’re gonna attack us physically or emotionally?” Jason inquired.

“Emotionally,”

“You sick bastard.” Steph whispered in horror. “I can’t believe you would use your powers for evil.”

“Does it make it any better if I tell you the list, if it does exist, would probably only exist so that when we notice someone looks like they’re gonna do something stupid, we use the list to remind them of something you did so they take it out on you and not, say, turn all of Gotham into a gang war zone.” Harper said slowly.

“I hate you,” Steph glared. “You mess up one time--”

“You died, Steph!” Tim exclaimed, before getting a batarang chucked at his head that Damian somehow snuck into his utility belt.

“She didn’t even die,” Jason snorted, crossing his arms. “Both of you two had lame fake-out deaths.”

“Why am I the one who’s become the punching bag?” Dick complained, holding Damian back again when he tried to grab the batarang Tim had dodged and threw it again.

“Because you’re actually good at feelings and everyone else is emotionally constipated.” Harper deadpanned.

“And the Ric incident.” Damian added right after, giving up in his thrashing. A shutter passed over the Bats at the mention of the name.

“Aw,” Dick’s face softened, ignoring the Ric comment. “You guys care about my advice?”

“Congrats,” Barbara chuckled slightly. “You’re the therapist brother.”

“Don’t tell him that,” Jason groaned, flopping backwards on the roof. “Now he’s going to be mushy and clingy all week.”

“Lord knows you idiots need it,” Harper huffed as Dick practically glowed.

“I’m sicing him on you later.”

“Jokes on you, he hasn’t found my apartment yet.”

“Yes I have,” Dick raised a hand, turning towards her. “Well, Robin found it, but I still know it.”

Harper stared at him for a few moments, momentarily turning her head to Damian for a moment before going back to Dick, and then turning to Jason.

“You’re a monster,” She whispered, a look of true horror on her face.

“I know,” Jason cackled gleefully.

“None of you are leaving the Manor when we get back.” Dick said matter-of-factly, pointing a finger to his siblings. “We’re gonna bond, and you’re going to like it.”

“We’re already bonding right now!” Damian protested.

“You’ll have to kill me first.” Steph hissed, shying behind Cass.

“Bold of you to assume you can keep me confined to the Manor.” Tim huffed in offence. “Orphan, I’ll stash you in one of my safe houses if you promise to be my bodyguard.”

“Deal,”

“You guys are so dramatic--”

“Hey, guys? Crazed pyromaniac with flamethrowers to the north.”

The group immediately dropped whatever they had been doing, heads snapping up towards the direction Barbara had tiredly informed them of the attack.

It was only a few moments before the sight of flames peaked over one of the buildings, dying out almost immediately. Shouts and rumbles were steadily growing in volume, especially the cackling of Firefly, likely revving up whatever weapon he’d acquired this time.

“Fantastic, can’t even keep watch with you morons.” Damian growled.

“Oh you are not the only one trying to work here!” Tim snapped. “Orphan, for example, is doing a wonderful--where’d she go?”

He and Steph looked around rapidly, their sister suddenly missing from the chimney. How they hadn’t noticed she’d left their crowded space was a mystery that’d likely never be solved.

“Over there,” Jason said boredly, upholstering a gun and pointing across the rooftops.

The outline of Cass’s body could be seen sprinting across the roofs towards where the fire had been spotted, leaping with reckless abandon.

“Life lesson for the rest of you,” Harper hummed, getting to her feet. “Be like Cass.”

“Stop using real names!” Damian barked.

“Last one there is on cleanup duty!” Steph hollered, shoving Tim and taking off in the same movement.

“Asshole!” Tim yelled as Jason, Harper and Damian all bolted after her without a moment's hesitation. 

Dick laughed, just getting to his feet as Tim stumbled up and after the others, swearing obscenities.

He quickly ran after his siblings, though he strayed a little further back, nobody paid attention to who showed up last anyway, his eyes darting from each of his siblings. Someone had to make sure they didn’t face-plant off a roof.

They shouted over each other as they descended down to take out Firefly. The guy had really picked a bad night to start causing trouble. It’d be over in no-time.

Even still, Dick paused on the roofs, scanning the streets below as the others ran to and fro, yelling over each other as Barbara switched between the coms to talk to them. It was a chaotic mess and Dick found himself grinning at it all.

His siblings were a hot mess, and it was amazing.

[coffeebeannate]

Nate Watches Things: A Saga

Or in this case, one thing. One thing that was far too long of a thing, but such a bizarre venture that I felt rather compelled to put an actual review of said thing together.

Why? Because I can and because others HAVE to experience this..this journey. A nice lil journey called Die Pfeiler der Macht/ A Dangerous Fortune. And I watched it solely because Luca looks cute in Victorian clothes, and I was intrigued by the gifs.

Curiosity has always been such a great human motivator, eh?

And..guys. I just. I don’t know what the 3-4 hours (it’s two movies, and I took a couple days to watch it) WERE, exactly, but they were..a thing? I know that it’s based on a book by Ken Follett and that this production is German. Despite being based in England. 

Oh, and Luca’s character Mickey Miranda, is uh, Spanish. Make of that what you will.

So the summary is this:

A shocking secret behind a young boys death leads to three generations of treachery in this breathtaking saga of love, power and revenge, set amid the wealth and decadence of Victorian England.

And no it does not do this thing justice whatsoever.

Review under the cut. It’s too long *again, two movies here*, and I took far too many screencaps of this absolute wtfery, and uh, it’s probably better suited for a real-time live blog but nah. You can have this instead.

Some images under the cut are NSFW because nefarious boning is a key point in this..thing.

SPOILERS. So many spoilers. This thing is a spoiler fest. The caps have a very obvious Luca bias, I know why we’re here everyone. Hehe. There’s also some triggering stuff in this thing, so be warned there too.

BEHOLD:

So, a point I want to make is that the costuming in this movie is LEGIT. If absolutely nothing else works? Note that the costuming absolutely does.

The opening credits are very nice, Luca’s very pretty, this cap serves purely to showcase that because I’m a very serious man doing a very serious review.

Pretty.

So the beginning is..confusing. We have a girl, Maisie Robinson. (Around 10-13 here?) Her father is very poor and it’s her and her two siblings. He works for a man who is part of our main characters, the Pilasters?  and they run this bank. The head of the bank commits suicide, since they’re having financial troubles and he cannot repay his workers. He pens a note to his young son *under 12 at this point*, Hugh. 

Hugh never finds out about this letter, but anyway. At the moment, it’s 1866. Maisie’s father was one of those employees. Destitute, he leaves Maisie to..raise her siblings, and goes to America.

We never hear from this man again.

Hugh goes to live with his aunt (Augusta/Augustina?), uncle Joseph, and cousins, Edward and Clara.

THEN IT’S 1877 (we jump ten years)

Maisie’s two siblings have died, and she has a daughter, Rachel now. Who is also dying. This movie is very keen on people dying. I’d also like to point out that there is like, endless plots all happening alongside one another, and it took me until mid-way into part two to even really grasp what the main plot is.

The movie has a LOT of bank talk as well. I cannot express this earnestly enough, there is SO MUCH bank chatter. SO MUCH. This thing does not have to be as long as it is but again, bank stuff.

Anyway, the one plot is that Maisie is from the poor area, she’s had a horrible life and has struggled from day one. She’s in a constant battle with Hugh, and they argue a lot. A lot. (They like each other, they met as kids, but they’re from very different worlds. Hugh has money, she doesn’t, but Hugh has suffered as well and basically it’s your normal class struggle social commentary thing).

Maisie and Hugh in 1866, as kids, after Maisie’s father left for America. This is the funeral for Hugh’s father. So that’s the theme I mean.

Anywho.

Back in 1877, this is Samuel *left*, Joseph *middle* and Edward. The Pilaster’s get marched into work like they’re freaking army Captain’s and not just rich ass bankers. Imagine saluting your CEO. At work. Outside of the military. WHERE IS THIS A THING? Maybe this was a thing in Victorian England I have no clue I’ve certainly never come across it in my studies. Ffs.

Anyway.

So while all this is going on, there’s this man that wants to marry Maisie. 

And his name is,

(That’s Rachel, Maisie’s daughter). Anyway, Solly here loves Maisie and wants to marry her. But Maisie loves Hugh, and neither of them realize this yet. Solly is a himbo and we mostly like him, but stay tuned because that doesn’t stick. Sorta. Depends on how-

Nevermind I’ll just keep going.

ANYWAY, more plot.

Here’s Edward again, doing drugs, being gay, and overall..useless. Edward is..Edward is kind of like a person who would make an interesting wall decoration. Fun enough to look at, but utterly freaking hopeless, and useless, and so dumb. Just so dumb. This character is given the substance of ash fault. Kinda like, only vaguely solid enough to be entertaining. Kinda.

I don’t know guys, BUT LOOK!

It’s his good old pal Mickey! And he’s slapped Edward awake out of his drug coma (okay he grabs his face and shakes him rather than slapping but given how much slapping happens in the rest of this movie I think I can be forgiven) and he has PLOTS.

Mostly it’s his dads plot, but it’s a plot. A very devious scheme and he needs our favourite wallpapers assistance!

(Sorry Edward, but it’s true)

So keeping in mind that the ‘theme’ of this movie is bone-and-soul crushing sadness paired with periods of intense chaos and insanity that  you never see coming, our plots continue to thicken.

What Mickey means here, is that Edward’s family denied Mickey’s father what he wanted *weapons deal*, and beat the crap out of Mickey in a carriage. But that’s fine that’s fine Mickey is not deterred! BECAUSE.

*sigh*

So.

OK.

This scene.

Remember what I said about how this movie goes from being incredibly boring to so off the walls bonkers without actually WARNING YOU that it is going to do this? Yeah.

Edward, you see, really does not ‘do’ women. He’s gay. He’s extremely gay. Edward’s mother wants him to marry Florence Stalworthy for idk rich people reasons.

So..Mickey. Uh. Mickey’s solution is..this.

What is this, you ask??

Fuck if I know.

Anyway, no, uhm. This is a brothel. So (not) pictured here (I can’t post the scene on tumblr guys we have a ban) is Edward on a couch across from mask-and-feathers MIckey and this tied down woman, with another woman who is not tied down. And this is Mickey..showing Edward..how to.have sex with women. Apparently. Sort of. His lesson falls very flat. It is not a good scene, Mickey’s ‘instructions’ get increasingly louder, and he at one point makes this noise that sounds like a Joker laugh.

It is...it’s something.

(Also note there’s some extremely uncomfortable, misogynistic name-calling on Mickey’s part here..so yeah).

Oh, and it doesn’t convince Edward. At all. IMAGINE.

Around all this time, the Hugh/Maisie/Solly plot is also ongoing. And that also encompasses bar fighting (bare knuckles boxing and wrestling I think? And gambling)

Hugh has gambling debt we’ll get back to this. (He’s also obsessed with getting Russian bonds into the bank, again, the banking plot losses me a LOT)

So meanwhile, Mickey meets up with Edward’s mother.

But why Edward’s mother, you ask??

Well. *sigh*. Something I didn’t mention earlier is that Mickey likes Ed’s mum. A lot. A lot a lot. Mickey wants to take that woman to town and then some, is a very basic way of me putting it and-

Fuck it. Mickey wants to bang Ed’s mum. BADLY.

(She’s not opposed either, at all)

So their little scheme here is that Ed’s mum wants Ed to take control of the bank, but with the father-in-law alive, that’s not going to happen. So they’re plotting to take down the next person in charge who would succeed said father in law, (Samuel) who is in a relationship with the secretary mentioned above, Michael.

Yes, another GODDAMNED PLOT.

(Samuel is fairly unpleasant like all of these people, so I don’t feel that bad for him. He also kinda treats Michael like garbage, and is called out for this by Joseph later in the movie)

So the scheme here is to get rid of the father-in-law, and get Ed married. Cake walk!

(Also, while ALL THIS is going on, Mickey’s got his own mini-plot about doing these things for his father, the weapons and stuff but we don’t actually find out about the main goal of that whole thing till the end, you’ll see)

Oh, and since we’ve not had a good dose of ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ lately, Solly proposes to Maisie with an honest-to-god Alice in Wonderland party.

Yeah.

Meet the Mad Hatter! He’s a guide, he says nothing. Other people are in costume too, but you know-I have enough caps as it is.

So anyway, Maisie and Solly get engaged, Maisie and Hugh meet up at some point and bang instead. 

And while that’s happening, Edward is convinced by Mickey to marry Florence.

So he does.

Lookit this shit faced smug ass grin.

(Also ahead is Samuel again, and Hugh)

BUT THEN the bank finds out about Hugh’s gambling debts. So he leaves. Taking his cousin Clara (Edward’s teenage sister-at her insistence) to the USA. And just like Maisie’s dad, another man abandons her for the States.

So the father in law is still alive, so! 

It’s murder time.

Perfect wedding time event yeah?

So Mickey murders the father-in-law. (He jumps on him, suffocates him with a pillow, gets caught by Augusta and then they do this..weird ‘tensely make the bed thing’)

Murdered.

And then, exactly five seconds or so later..

Nothing like some murder pre-boning with the dead guy two feet away amiright?

Anyway at this point I was just:

And yelling at my ceiling. Not pictured.

I was a Hannibal fan and I STILL went !?!?!?

END PART ONE.

Part two starts out in 1912, and then cuts back to 1882. So in this messy timeline, note it has been six years since part one. And Hugh is married now to Nora, an American singer, and Clara is older and pregnant. (Father is never determined, but he’s a married man and that’s why Clara didn’t stay)

SO the three of them are returning home. Maisie and Solly have a son, David, and Maisie is depressed and distant, so Solly is the one who spends all the time with David. He’s shown as a legit good dad and it’s quite cute watching them.

(The kids Hugh’s, btw, he and Maisie both know this, Hugh does not, it’s revealed dramatically later but we still have so many plots)

Edward and Florence are childless. Edward doesn’t sleep with her. Everyone knows this.

(At this point I kept asking myself when this would end, I cannot stress how LONG this thing feels at times)

So Hugh and Nora meet up with Maisie and Solly, and they chat and there’s more love plots, more bank plots and a masquerade party where at some point Maisie thinks a little girl at the party is Rachel (who died in the end of part one, sorry!) and there’s a fire and Maisie and Hugh make out and Nora and Solly are both upset and it’s a whole thing.

Samuel now does something of a side business that’s unspecified with Michael, and pregnant Clara is being persued by the only man who might be a good match for her (she’s not keen on getting married. But he’s also..really old.) PLOTS.

And Mickey and Augusta are..still a thing. And Edward being chlidless is becoming an issue. So what is the solution dear friends??

*BANGS HEAD INTO A WALL*

Why the fuck not.

Absolutely flawless! Eddie will NEVER notice.

SO with this plan in motion, Mickey sets out to seduce Florence, Eddie’s neglected wife. He starts in a church, and I have to admit, this one line he gives is quite funny.

“I don’t go to church.”

Cannot begin to imagine why.

Also, around this time is when we get the infamous scene about how he fcked the wives of the three men and then made the guys suck his dick one by one. I didn’t cap that since it’s in gif form, but yeah.

Hugh and Solly and Nora and Maisie are still having their love issues. And there is still bank stuff as all this is going down.

But while on his Florence quest, we see Mickey beat up a guy who was abusing a small boy, and Florence see’s him do this as well and:

He looks so baffled. 

‘Me? GOOD? I really don’t think so.”

She’s also holding a baby, and he gives the infant this face:

“Eugh, what is that?”

He also finds her in church again at some point and comes alongside her like this:

”Sup? Whatcha prayin’ about?”

Anyway, while doing all this, he’s still having some issues. He needs Eddie’s signature for a bank transfer (for his father, his father’s plot is STILL a THING) and so it is time to seduce someone ELSE. This time it’s Edward. This won’t be hard. Edward wants him so bad you could probably see it from fucking space.

Mickey is well aware of this.(I don’t think it’s one sided either, he looks at Edward all wide eyed half the time, but he’s so manipulative it’s hard to judge).

Actually me right now tbh.

So that’s this followed by the infamous gif set.

Edward takes him up on it.

‘Come along my dear there’s nefarious boning to be done’.

Absolutely vital screencap below (which is the most we get anyway and I didn’t cap the line about the freaking signature because fuck plots over nice images okay)

Vital

Anyway Edward gives him the bloody signature. And then Mickey goes along to talk to Augusta. But at this point Mickey is very much beginning to unravel. His goal seems to be more centralized to finishing whatever long ass convoluted job his father has been making him do for the last six years (possibly more tbh) and he’s sort of done with everything.

And Edward see’s this exchange. Le. Oof.

SO! IN BETWEEN ALL THIS. There’s some party where there’s drama and then basically Nora..willing gives up Hugh so he can be with Maisie and Solly just..I don’t even know, single dad for life and all. Edward knows that his family has basically been doing shit all around him, and Mickey STILL seduces Florence. He has her meet him outside that night at two am and they get together, but when he’s with her he kinda has these doubts but she wants him anyway so they bang.

Yeesh.

AFTER that there’s Edward again, because Edward knows shit is up, Mickey goes to a room to grab a bag and see’s Edward there. He tells Edward goodbye, but Edward pulls a gun. Mickey just...drops the bag, tells him to shoot. Edward doesn’t, instead he turns the gun on himself and then Mickey shoots himself in a chair.

Yeah.

DEATH! SADNESS! REMEMBER-THIS MOVIE LOVES DEAD PEOPLE~!

At some point in all this, Augusta goes to her daughter, Clara, apologies for being an absolutely evil mother for her entire life and then the movie sort of begins to wrap up.

Maisie and David were going to leave for the States together, but David wants to stay with Solly, who well DID raise him despite him being Hugh’s kid. So Maisie and Hugh are alone and David lives with Solly and the Pilaster bank has discovered the ACTUAL FREAKING PLOT OF MICKEY’S DAD AND THE ENTIRE BACKGROUND THING. Which was this:

THIS DIDN’T NEED TO BE ALMOST FOUR HOURS, GERMANY.

SO Hugh lets the mob inside. We don’t see what happens after that, but Augusta comes in to tell Joseph Edward shot himself.

Lots of sadness.

So the movie ends in 1912, with David and Hugh meeting up. David never saw Maisie again *she’s deceased now, as is Solly.* they talk, there is some moral lesson or something about love. The goddamned end.

OOF.

SO overall?

I don’t know.

It’s a movie. It has a script and plot and..it was put on screen? The costumes are legitimately amazing. They might be the best thing about this thing. But it REALLY feels like Ken really wanted to make a movie about banking, noticed that’d be boring and tried to make it spicy.

It’s so bizarre. So depressing. So many people are horrible. So many bad things happen. So much slapping, so much weirdness. There’s nothing happy in this thing. Not one. The so called ‘good’-ish ending falls flat amongst a sea of depression and I re-iterate, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SO LONG.

I distinctly recall lots of clock watching at times, wondering how I could POSSIBLY have more to go. It then goes so completely off the rails that you just don’t know what is happening and it’s just WEIRD.

At times that weirdness makes it fun, but overall it’s really not great. I probably would never rewatch it, and I can say that it’s an uh, experience in movie-watching.

A good one? I don’t know. But an experience, none the less.

[bigoltrashpile]

Butch clowns

After a moment, you sighed.  “.....The clowns.”  Doctors were already scary enough, you didn’t need more reason to be scared of getting a check up.

“good choice,” Butch grinned.  He took your hand and led you to the line under a sign that said “Funhouse of Fear.”  Straight to the point, you see.  The two of you waited in the long line, joking about random shit to pass the time, until you finally made it to the front.

A person dressed as a clown giggled and took your tickets.  “Have fun at the circus~” she grinned wickedly.

You sighed, while Butch just grinned.  “we will,” he chuckled.  He tugged you through the doors, which had “DANGER” written all over it.

Immediately, you stepped into a dimly lit maze of mirrors.  A few of them were normal, while some made you look stretched or squashed.  Butch led you through the maze, and you desperately tried to ignore the laughing and shapes you could see out of the corner of your eyes.

Suddenly, Butch stopped abruptly.  “W-what’s wrong?” you asked, following his eyes to where he was looking.

Butch chuckled as he stared at himself in one of the mirrors.  “heh, lookit me, i’m noir!” he laughed.  The mirror made him look unnaturally tall and thin, so he did look a bit more like his brother.  “SANS!  STOP BEING LAZY!!” he shouted, in a mocking impression of Noir.

That made you laugh, despite the nervousness you were feeling.  “Oh my god!”

Butch grinned widely at you, obviously loving the smile on your face.  “heheheh, well, c’mon, we can’t stay in here forever.  well, we could, but i’d get hungry.”

He took your hand again, and the two of you wandered through the maze until you finally found the exit.  So far, nothing too scary.  However, this next section looked much scarier.  There was even less light in the long, thin hallway, decorated with heads on hooks and blood on the walls.  The entire thing was both colorful and eerie, fitting with the clown aesthetic.  Butch led the way, confident and unwavering.

Fuck, there was so many places someone could be hiding.  Just as that thought crossed your mind, the first jumpscare happened.  Someone wearing clown makeup and a bloody costume jumped out at you and Butch, screaming loudly.

You shrieked  and jumped back.  Naturally, Butch didn’t even flinch.  He just laughed at your reaction and kept tugging you along.  “c’mon babe, don’t wanna stay too long, do ya?”

He pulled you through the rest of the hallway, through a red curtain.  This next room looked like a circus tent, complete with seats around the side and spotlights shining down on the clowns in the center, juggling and doing tricks.  Naturally, all of them were dressed as killer clowns, and one of them was holding a chainsaw.  Great.

To get to the next room, you had to go through the middle of the ring.  You braced yourself before Butch tugged you around the outside of the ring.  You tried not to draw too much attention to yourself, even though it was obvious that all the clown knew you were there.   Suddenly, one of them screamed, followed by the rest of them.  The chainsaw revved up, and you immediately screamed and bolted to the end of the room.  Butch chuckled, infuriatingly calm, and refused to run, slowing you down.  Desperate to escape, you let go of his hand and ran to the exit as fast as you could.  When you got there, you ducked through the curtain and put your hands on your knees, panting.

After a few more moments, Butch strolled through the curtain, cool as a cucumber.  “that was fun,” he chuckled.

You pouted at him.  “That was scary!”

“sure.”

You sighed at his smug face and took his hand again.

The rest of the haunted house passed in a similar fashion, with you freaking out at every scare, and Butch just laughing at your reaction.  When you finally got to the end, your heart was pounding a mile a minute.

“what did ya think, doll?  ya have fun?” Butch asked.

You were about to say no, of course not, but you rethought it.  Actually, it was...pretty exciting!  Reluctantly, you admitted, “I had a great time.”

Butch beamed, sharp teeth glinting in the moonlight.  “i’m glad!  i sure did, heh, i liked when that one guy in that last hall jumped out, ya jumped three feet!”

You pouted.  It may be immature, but you felt it was fair.  “I did not!.....I have to say though, I’m glad you were with me.  You make me feel really safe.”

Butch smiled gently.  “hey, i ain’t gonna let anythin’ hurt ya, even if it is a clown with a fake chainsaw, heheheheh!”

“Do you promise?”

He didn’t even hesitate.  “i promise.”

You grinned and kissed his sharp teeth.  “Let’s go home, you big softie.”

Butch chuckled.  “only for you, doll.”  Then, he wrapped his strong arms around your waist, and the two of you teleported back home.

[the-karma-cafe]

bean jr.

a/n: 

me: hope writing shitty levi fanfiction every night doesnt become a habit

also me: *sees short middle-aged angry man* awOOGA

“Oh!” I gasped, breaking away from my walk with Captain Levi. A cat was curled up on the roof of a nearby house, basking in the sunlight. My 3DMG propelled me up and through the air. I landed on the roof lightly, taking care not to startle the cat. “Aww, lookit you!” I cooed, crouching and holding out a hand.

The cat yawned awake and stared at my hand through slitted eyes. I chuckled. “Don’t gimme that look I know you’re just a sweetheart.” He pushed up from his nap, stretching lazily. He eyed my hand for a beat before padding over and giving it a good sniff or two. Satisfied, he rubbed his cheek against my hand.

I squealed in delight. “You’re so sweet! How do you feel about coming home with me, hm?”

“What’s going on up there?” Levi’s bored voice rang out from the street below. I scooped up the cat easily and ran to the edge of the roof. His eyes fell on the cat and he scowled. “If I find cat hair in my office I’m killing it.”

I jumped down from the roof, careful not to jostle the cat too much. He sat contentedly in my arms, nuzzling my neck every now and then and filling my left ear with a steady purr. I grinned toothily at the captain. “Isn’t he adorable?”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Smug fucker looks about ready to shit on my desk.”

I gasped, covering the cat’s ears with one hand. “Captain! Avoid using such strong language around my impressionable son!”

“Tch.”

~

I let him roam around the base, much to Levi’s chagrin. It wasn’t uncommon to find the captain with a dustpan and a broom, swearing under his breath as he swept up cat hair. 

Hanji strutted into the dining hall, holding the cat aloft. “Whose child is this!” They bellowed.

I raised my hand sheepishly. “Sorry.”

They shook their head and walked over, the little man tucked under their arm. “Nonsense! He’s a delight. Does he have a name yet?” Their eyes sparkled.

I smiled and shook my head, taking him from them. “Would you do the honors?”

Hanji puffed their chest. “Of course!” They pointed their finger regally at the cat in my lap. He squinted up at them. “I hereby dub thee.. Bean Jr.!”

The table applauded Bean Jr’s naming ceremony. I laughed, playing with his little paws.

“You’re gonna give it a name too?” Someone sighed behind us. I turned to see Captain Levi, his usual bored expression on his face. Actually, he looked a little disgusted.

I shook my head. “Come now, Captain, he’s not an it.” I shuffled in my seat, turning to face him. I smiled down at Bean Jr. “Say hello to Captain Levi!” 

I looked back up and made one of the cat’s little paws wave at our captain, giggling at the way his face contorted in disgust. “Hi, Captain!” I altered my voice to make it squeakier. “I’m Bean Jr., your biggest fan! Don’t you wanna come over and give me lots of pets and cuddles? Of course you do! I’m more than happy to-“

“I’ve heard enough.” Levi cut me off, turning to leave. I smiled over at my giggling comrades.

~

Bean Jr. batted at the feather in my hand and I laughed, bringing it up higher than before. A knock on my door startled me into dropping it. “Yeah?” I called out.

The door cracked open to reveal my Captain. “You didn’t come to the wall?”

“Oh!” I said. Captain Levi and I had taken to walks on the wall to talk about the latest news and plans for the future. As of late, everything’s been about Eren and his newfound ability. 

I didn’t think he’d care if I didn’t show up. I smiled sheepishly. “Ah, sorry, guess I got a little caught up with Bean Jr.” The cat hopped onto my bed, nuzzling against my hand.

Levi’s eyebrow twitched as he pinned a murderous look at the cat. “Of course.” He nodded politely and closed the door. I frowned.

~

Levi plopped down across from me at breakfast, narrowing his eyes at the cat in my lap. He looked more fatigued than usual. “You didn’t come to my office last night. Cat matters to attend to?” I usually went to Levi’s office after-hours to help him out with his piles of paperwork.

But I wasn’t ever much help? I spent most of the time chattering away. I thought, if anything, he’d be glad to get a break.

I bit my lip. “Ah, you’d be right. Sorry?”

He grunted and picked at his meal.

~

This went on for a bit longer. Blowing off Levi to hang out with my cat. I didn’t mean to, really. Bean Jr. was just so charming and cute!

I cooed at his exposed belly. “Aww, you’re so soft and sweet. Aren’t you just the cutes-“

My door slammed open. “No more.” An authoritative voice rang out. I turned to see Levi glaring darkly at the cat.

I frowned. “No more what? Is something wrong, Captain?”

He shook his head and marched forward. He grabbed Bean Jr. by the scruff and deposited him outside of the room, closing it to prevent the feline from coming in. He puffed his chest proudly.

I quirked up a brow. “Is there a reason you’ve separated me from my son?”

Levi turned and scowled at me. “You’ve been spending far too much time with it.”

Huh?

Understanding rippled through my brain. I smothered a grin. “Levi, are you… jealous?”

His eyes widened a fraction. “Are you stupid? Jealous of a cat? Fuck no.”

I nodded solemnly. “Of course.” I stood, walking over to him. “Then you don’t mind if I let him back in?”

His gaze hardened. “I’m sure it’s fucked off by now.”

I sighed sadly. “You’re probably right… He has taken a liking to Hanji lately..”

Levi nodded. “All the more reason to let them have it.”

“But what will I do with myself if I don’t have Bean Jr.?”

“You’ll come to my office as usual.” He turned to leave the room, but paused. “..I made tea.”

~

We worked quietly in his office. I sighed, setting down my pen. I plucked up my teacup and brought it to my lips, leaning back to gaze at the man across from me. His brow was furrowed as he jotted something down on the paper in front of him. I giggled slightly. Levi blinked, his features smoothing as he glanced up at me. “What?”

“I’m still wrapping my head around you being jealous of a cat.”

He pursed his lips. “I was not.” I hummed teasingly. He pushed up from his seat. “I wasn’t!”

I nodded, taking a sip. “Of course you weren’t.” I winked at him. “That’d be silly.”

Soft paws padded on the door. My eyes lit up. “Bean Jr.!” I set down my teacup and got up to let in my son.

“Oh no you don’t.” Levi was up in a flash, his hand wrapping around my wrist and tugging me back. I yelped in surprise, tumbling into his chest. His lips met mine before I could say anything. I froze in surprise.

My eyes fluttered close and I melted against him, relishing in his warmth. He relaxed his grip, moving his arms around my waist to pull me closer. He tasted faintly sweet. I pushed into him, wanting to taste more. 

I had suspected he had feelings for me, but never believed he’d act on them. Thanks, Bean Jr. I sighed happily into Levi’s mouth, my hands smoothing up his chest.

The door opened. “Bean Jr. wanted to come in- oh!” Hanji’s voice tapered off in surprise. I pulled away from Levi, but he held onto me.

He snarled over my shoulder at the scientist. “Get out. And take that damn cat with you.” The door closed.

I laughed lightly at his murder face. My finger lazily traced circles on his chest. “You’re right. Humanity’s Strongest would never be jealous of a cat.”

He burrowed his head into my neck. “Shut up.” His breath tickled my skin and I laughed again.

a/n: i have NOT watched enough attack on titan to get levi’s character right but am i gonna watch more to familiarize myself ? also no *opens another levi x reader masterlist*

[ask-beacons-finest]

Afewdrinks!Sun, texting in a panic: < Blake oh my gods holy shit you have to help >

Afewdrinks!Blake, sitting on the deck of the cabana, her feet dangling in the water, picking up her scroll from next to her: < Yea hey wgats up? >

Afewdrinks!Blake: < What's* >

AFD!Sun: < I matched this cute dude on a dating app right? We're chatting, things are fine, whatever. >

AFD!Blake: < You know I'm on like...vacation right now, right? >

AFD!Sun: < UNIMPORTANT BLAKE. THIS IS MY LIFE RN PLEASE. >

AFD!Blake, staring at her scroll for a second before shrugging: < Alright, carry on. >

AFD!Sun: < So this dude just sent me this message earlier today, out of nowhere, first message of the- thank you, I will be carrying on- day, and this dude deadass straight up told me "Hey you ever piss in the shower because you don't want to flush the toilet?" Like who the fuck does that?!? Is that weird???"

AFD!Blake, raising an eyebrow as Yang sits down next to her, handing her a cocktail: < Hold on. >

AFD!Blake, looking over to Yang: Hey do you ever pee in the shower in order to not flush the toilet?

AFD!Yang, gulping down a sip of her cocktail: Like...while I'm showering?

AFD!Blake, shaking her head: No no, like just...in there I guess.

AFD!Yang, dumbfounded: ...no...that's...that's weird.

AFD!Blake, turning back to her scroll: < I mean even Yang thinks it's weird. So it's definitely weird. >

AFD!Yang, having read the text over Blake's shoulder: H-Hey, what do you mean by that?

AFD!Blake: < So idk dude, just uhh...have fun i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ >

AFD!Blake, putting her scroll back beside her on the deck, flicking some sea water onto Yang's leg with her foot: I mean that you're weird.

AFD!Yang, putting her drink down and grips hold of both of Blake's shoulders: Oh really? You think I'm weird?

AFD!Blake, immediately realizing, clawing her free hand into the railing: SO HELP ME YANG, I WILL KILL YOU.

AFD!Yang, jokingly waving Blake forward and back, teasing her: Ooooooo, lookit you goooo, you're gonna fallllll!!!

AFD!Blake, growling: I'm going to EAT YOU!

AFD!Yang, stopping, raising her eyebrows a few times with a smug grin: Y'promise?

AFD!Blake, scoffing and rolls her eyes, leaning against Yang and cuddles into her embrace: Mmm, maybe.

AFD!Yang, after a minute, taking a sip of her drink: ...I don't have to pee anywhere weird. Do I?

AFD!Blake, rubbing her eyes, exhausted: I hate Sun.