#Leela absolutely loves Fry

[noveratus]

You know, this last episode of Futurama just goes to prove my theory that Fry and Leela should be polyamorous, except that Fry only wants to be with Bender as well as Leela while Leela has other partners

[irregularbillcipher]

someday i'm gonna write something about how futurama is such a rich series from a "literally all three protagonists are disabled in some way and parts of this show are such a disability power fantasy" perspective

[therandosfandos]

YAYY!! I finished the fox hunt aftermath one shot!

Sum: Bender makes it back to Planet Express but his program ends up shutting him down forcefully because of the damages done to him

The crew is worried to say the least of it all...

Everything hurts. He was pretty sure his wiring was messed up. It was hard to walk just on one footcup and he had took wiring out of it just to set up a trap for the hunter.

His trigger finger just kept falling off and didn't stay on as well. Concerned cries from the robot fox in his hands were heard, the animal nuzzling up against Benders chest and whimpered. The said robot trembled.

Then they were at Planet Express, Fry was carefully keeping his best friend balanced so he could get there. Leela holds the door open for them and when they were insides she lets go and rushes to the meeting table and calling an emergency. The whole entire crew came into the scene, but the fox was the first thing they saw. Bender was behind the mutant, he wasn't visible to the eyes of the crew.

So when they all angrily yelled and stampeded to get to the animal, he braces himself, refusing to run again. Then everything went silent. The anger went away.

Benders optics opened to look at them as he produced a pathetic glitching sound from his voice box. They saw the injuries. "I-i...I-...nothing i-its wr-wro-wRoNg, m-mea-meatBaGs..."

Clearly, something was. He sounded absolutely broken. When the fox attacked the hunter, it accidentally caused the guy to pull the trigger on the gun and it hit Bender right in his voice module. Fry frowns as Bender nearly toppled onto the floor but carefully bends his knees to keep the robot upright.

"Shh, honey, shh" Fry hushes his boyfriend to which the bending unit could only whine in response to it. He was just in so much pain.

Farnsworth came up and inspected the damages, "what on earth happened!?" He asked quite loudly. This caused Bender to emit a high pitched frequency of a screech and cringe. They all looked at him shocked. Bender would usually refuse to be seen in such a vulnerable state and deny that he was scared and hurt. However, he couldn't do anything at this point.

So the professor quieted down and asked again, gently this time, "what happened?". Leela looks at him and sighs, "we went after the fox and well...", She frowns with worry in her single eye, "let's just say they turned a fox hunt into a robot hunt..."

Everyone gasps audibly. "Bender was splurfing hunted!?" Amy asks, worry filling her voice. Bender leans against the orange haired man's chest and whimpers at a low octave. "I know, sweetheart, I know..." Fry responds to the action. Then he looks up and speaks, "don't worry, the hunter got what was coming".

The crew was relieved to hear that. Hermes goes ahead and gets out a clip board, writing down the injuries he saw on the poor little bot. One missing footcup, wires missing from his broken and hollow leg tube, trigger finger missing, on his hand looked like splinter marks and dents, he was dented quite roughly, he had sharp claw marks all over him and he also seemed to have porcupine needles punctured into his metal.

They managed to fix him up, carefully and quickly giving him a run over afterwards. Everything was back in order. Bender shuddered on the couch. The fox suddenly leaned down and dives up into the cushions, it's black paws then going to climb on the robots lap and curl up into a ball to sleep.

Bender sighs contently as he pets the electronic animal calmly. He appreciated the little guy. This fox actually helped him, it cared for him, made him feel protected and safe. Safer than he had in a long time.

Fry kisses Benders cheek and traces a thumb over Benders three digits as he gives the robots hand a gentle squeeze, "hey, buddy, you okay now?" He asks with a soft loving voice. Bender couldn't get enough of the guy. The robot does a nod motion and Fry smiles sweetly, "whats your booze level at, baby boy?"

Bender checks and then speaks up, "98%". Fry nods, Bender was fueled up enough, that was good. Fry gives his metal boyfriend another peck on the cheek and one on the forehead.

Zoidberg suddenly comes in with tickets that he found in the trash, lucky day for him they guessed, "friends! I found tickets to a zoo, mini golf and a camp!"

The robots optics widen and he was hyperventilating. He couldn't be there! He couldn't! The forests were too much, the animals were too much, the fact there were hunters in camps were too much!

The animal on his lap whines and got the attention of the crew. They looked at Bender shocked and when Amy touched him, Bender snapped, "STOP! NO! NO! NO! I CAN'T GO! I CAN'T! THEY'LL HUNT ME DOWN AGAIN! NO! STOP IT! I DON'T WANNA BE HURT AGAIN!"

Their heart's break. Bender never was this bad before, their eyes frozen wide and mouths agape. Fry rushes over and hushes his boyfriend, being quiet and gentle, "hey, hey, look at me" he says, "shh, bud, shh, look at me, okay?"

Benders unneeded breath hitched suddenly and he listens to Fry. His optics peering at the humans eyes. "You're not there, we won't go, shh, we won't, we'll have a nice quiet evening here and watch TV with food and snacks and alcohol, okay? Shh, it's all over now, that guy won't ever hurt you again"

The robot felt tears rolling down his optics, he must be crying right now and a sense of embarrassment filled him. He was too sensitive to care at the moment though.

"Yo-you promise, meatbag?" He asks his boyfriend and Fry squeezes his metal hand gently once again as he gives Bender a kiss on the mouthplate this time, "I promise"

Bender calmed down and let Fry and the fox nuzzle against them, they turned on a movie, turned the lights off, got popcorn, drinks and other junk and took their spots. They all had a sweet loving afternoon with Bender finally safe.

[freelafan4life545]

Fry's love gestures to Leela in that episode had absolutely ended me!

💜🧡

[the-badger-mole]

How It Could Have Ended

Picture this: a story of a guy frozen in ice being woken up in a world he no longer recognizes. On waking, he meets a girl who is stubborn, strong and caring who takes him under her wing as he adjusts to this strange new world. The boy turns out to be the literal savior of the world, and with the help of the girl, he fulfills his destiny. There are some twists and turns, but in the end they fall in love, and it's a very sweet and satistfying ending, despite the fact that behind the scenes production drama made the last part of the series hit or miss.

Don't worry, I'm not being held at gun point and this is not a cry for help. I'm just talking about Futurama.

It's no big secret that I don't like Kataang as a ship, and I've spent a lot of words on all the ways it was a terrible ending for Katara and for the entire series. Here's something you may not know, though: I don't hate the dynamic that Kataang was built on. The lovable dopey boy and the competent, strong girl falling for each other is a Friends to Lovers trope that works really well if done correctly, and while I hate how ATLA did it, Futurama is one of my favorite examples of this ship dynamic in all of media and fandom.

The biggest reason that Fry and Leela's relationship development succeeds where Katara and Aang's failed is that the creators of the show seemed to actually care about Leela and her story. Fry and Leela's relationship develops in a way that takes them both into consideration. We get why Fry likes Leela, but we also see why Leela likes Fry. Leela's feelings matter. Leela is shown thorughout the series to have an attraction to Fry, but resists because Fry isn't mature enough to move their romantic relationship forward for most of the series run. Leela isn't made out to be the problem because of it. Despite the fact that Fry is a genuinely good guy, it's made very clear that Leela isn't wrong about him. Their relationship advances only as Fry becomes more mature, and Fry isn't maturing so that Leela will like him. Yes, she has the effect of making him want to be better, but there is never a point where Fry throws his development in Leela's face and expects to be rewarded with her affection. He hopes she'll like him back, but he doesn't demand it (also note that by "becoming more mature", Fry didn't have to stop being Fry. He was just more aware of how his actions affected others and acted accordingly).

Let's compare that to ATLA, where Katara's participation (such as it is) in her romantic development is very passive. When she rebuffs Aang's advances, our sympathy is supposed to be with Aang. Even in the end, where she initiates the kiss, that moment isn't preceeded by any discussion of her feelings or why she's decided she wants Aang. There are two moments in the show before the end where she could be argued to be showing any sort of romantic interest in Aang, in the end of the Fortunteller, and in the dance, and in both cases, it's not clear that Katara actually feels anything romantic for Aang. Her feelings are also never followed up on in either case. It doesn't need to be because Katara's feelings in this relationship don't really matter to either the writers or to Aang. She ends up with Aang in the end because that's what the script demands, rather than a natural progression of their friendship.

How the hero views his love interest is also handled very differently in ATLA and Futuram. It's very clear from the beginning that Aang likes Katara. What's made equally clear is that he likes her because she's pretty. Really think about all the moments where he's shown a romantic interest in Katara. It's all framed around her beauty, not who she actually is. Even though Aang should absolutely have understood a lot of what Katara was going though, it never comes into play in how he veiws her as a person, even when it really should. Katara and Aang have a very surfacy relationship. Katara takes care of Aang and she is a good friend to him, but she is either seeing Aang the child in her care, or Aang the Avatar. He is never Aang, the person she turns to when she needs help. In turn Aang sees Katara, the beautiful girl he has a crush on, and when she deviates from that view, he gets uncomfortable (i.e. his reaction to Katara challenging Pakku's sexism, or her wanting to go after Yon Rah). Aang doesn't understand Katara's pain, or her desperation to see the war ended. These are two characters who on paper should actually have a lot to connect on, but they don't make that connection, and the result is a very lopsided relationship where Aang persues Katara as a prize, and Katara gives in because he's the Avatar. Katara's wants are irrelevant.

Fry and Leela, on the other hand, share a deep connection that isn't just based on physical attraction. From the first episode, their bond is based on the way they relate to one another's struggles. While, yes, it is clear that Fry thinks Leela is attractive, they connect over a sense of feeling out of place and lonely in the world they find themselves in. Leela is an orphan who (she believes) comes from a whole different planet. Fry is 1000 years away from the world he knows and everyone he has ever loved is dead. They understand each other in ways the rest of the world doesn't, and they help each other carve their own path. One of the most poingnant episodes of thier relationship is X-Mas Story when Fry spends part of the episode feeling sorry for himself because he is lonely and misses Christmas with his family. Then it's pointed out that Leela is feeling even worse because while Christmas is a reminder of what Fry doesn't have anymore, for Leela, it's a reminder of what she's never had and she expects never will. Fry goes out of his way to make Leela feel better, not because he hope she'll fall for him (at this point, I don't think Fry is even that serious about liking Leela romantically yet). He did it because she's his friend, and he can empathize with her lonliness.

There's never a moment where he demands Leela's affection in exchange for the things he does. Fry saves the world, several times, over the course of the series, but he never makes that transactional. He doesn't try to leverage the fact that he is the only person in the universe who could have done what he did to even get a date with Leela. Although he does plead with Leela several times to give him a chance, Fry is also willing to back off when he's rebuffed...It's really messed up that we live in a world where that's a rare and attractive trait in a man, but here we are.

At the end of the day, Fry respects Leela. He has feelings for her and would like those feelings to be reciprocated, but had Leela refused him, he would have let her go. And we get a few opportunities to see that he would let her go. Leela has a few love interests over the course of the series, and while Fry doesn't necessarily like it, he steps aside and let's Leela do as she pleases, even if it means he might not ever get to be with her himself. Aang, on the otherhand, was ready to go into the Avatar State over the mere suggestion that Katara wanted someone else. Rather than give Katara the space she specifically asked for, he pressured her for the response he wanted, and physically forced himself on her. Aang wouldn't step aside like Fry and let Katara have every chance to be happy, even if it wasn't with him.

By the time Fry and Leela get together, they have a deep understanding of each other, both the good and bad. Fry has worked on himself so he could be the partner Leela needed without any expectation that she had to pick him if he did the things he was supposed to do anyway. Leela in turn was able to let her guards down and trust Fry would see her vulnerability for the gift it was and handle her with care. In contrast, by the time Katara and Aang get together, Aang has proven his feelings matter more to him than hers. He's proven that Katara can't trust him with her vulnerabilites, and he's disrespected her culture several times (remember the time Fry literally threw himself into a toxic lake and got "mutated" so he could support Leela after she called him out for being insensitive?). Aang is the king of "girl, lower your standards!" Mike and Bryan could stand to learn a thing or 15 about building a romance from Futurama.

[hippiesolitude]

Not that anyone asked, but I wanted to compile a list of my top 5 favorite episodes of Futurama and see if anyone else had a similar list :D

5. Godfellas - I mean, who doesn’t love this episode. Bender floating alone in space playing God is just way too good of a plot line. I especially love it bc of how dedicated Fry is to find him. Something about that is just way too wholesome.

4. The Late Philip. J Fry - This episode is just absolutely fantastic the entire way around. I think it is one of the coolest interpretations of time travel the show has done. I love the song, I love the way Leela thinks Fry stood her up and then died, and I love that they crack a 6 pack open to watch the world end. It’s just one of the best.

3. I Second That Emotion - This one I feel like is not on many people’s list, but something about it is just so great. Bender feeling actual human emotion really got me in this one. This was probably the episode where I decided Bender was my favorite character. Not only is it hilarious, but seeing Bender be vulnerable is really cool, and there’s a ton of funny jokes in it too. Fry screaming and then going “I burned my finger” is probably one of my favorite jokes ever.

2. The Honking - This was actually the first episode of Futurama I had ever seen. So, it instantly earns a place on this list. The insane amount of jokes in this episode earn it a high spot. The Shining references, Fry getting emo bc Bender picked Leela over him, Leela’s frozen meals joke, Bender being covered in transmission fluid instead of blood… the list goes on! It really holds a close place to my heart.

1. Hell is Other Robots - This episode I whole heartedly believe is the best Futurama has ever done. We are introduced to the Robot Devil, who is an incredible character, and see so much of the Beastie Boys; who I love. Not only that, but I think electricity addicted Bender is one of the funniest interpretations of his character ever. And then religious Bender… “who wants to come to my exceedingly long, un-airconditioned baptism ceremony” has to be one of the funniest jokes in the show. And to top it all off, the SONG!!!! I literally have the entire thing memorized because of just how much I’ve watched this episode. The way Fry and Leela work together to save Bender too is just too good. Overall, this episode is just incredible.

Some other runner ups include Silence of the Clamps, Lethal Inspection, and Ghost in the Machines.

I’d love to hear everyone else’s top 5!! :)))

[sokkas-first-fangirl]

I saw that u made a post asking for prompts/just to talk about fandoms. I was meaning to send an ask when I saw it but I forgot 😭😭 heres something different for you: I'm so happy to see that you like futurama as well, that show has such a special place in my heart 😭😭 and the lack of fics (especially freela fics) is actually maddening 😤😤😤 if you want to, could you throw us some freela relationship headcanons?😳😳💖

The original girlboss and malewife! 👏👏

Fry and Leela were probably the first fictional couple I shipped, before I even knew what shipping was. I just knew I really wanted them to end up together

(The lack of fanfic is a travesty, justice for my disaster couple)

Headcanon time!

When Fry and Leela are officially engaged (y'know, without time being frozen in the process) Bender gives a rather dramatic monologue about how he can't believe Leela didn't ask his blessing. Fry's protests that he proposed go unheard. Bender demands (somewhat jokingly but mostly seriously) that Leela asks for his blessing

No, Bender does not tear up when Leela goes along with it and asks, shut up

No one's sure who cried more at the wedding: Leela's parents, or Zoidberg

They get a dog, damn it! 👏👏

They have two kids: a girl and a boy

Fry remembers how much Yancy hated his name, so while he doesn't name his son Yancy, he returns the favour and uses it as a middle name

Their daughter's middle name is Munda, after Leela's mom

The entire Planet Express crew absolutely adores these kids. Everyone has babysat and they all have very different ways of handling the kids

One time, Leela and Fry came to collect the kids to find them doing paperwork with Hermes. They actually seemed to be enjoying it

Cubert just thinks it's low-key weird that the babies whose diapers he's changing are actually his aunt and uncle

Fry tries to imagine his parents babysitting his kids and shudders in horror. He misses them and wishes every day that his parents could have met them, but letting his parents look after them could only have resulted in utter chaos

One time, someone hits on Fry in front of Leela, despite the obvious wedding rings. Everyone expects Leela to lose it and start a fight. Her usual "I'm gonna kick her ass" attitude. Instead, she surprises them all: she grabs Fry and straight up dips him in a kiss instead

Fry loves it

Fry has also surprised everyone (and horrified Hermes) by starting a fight when some drunken idiot wouldn't shut up about how "weird" Leela's eye is

Fry, drunk: "That's my girlfriend!" Kif: "Fry, that's your wife." Fry: "My wife!? Even better!"

Leela: "I wasn't that drunk last night." Amy: "You hit on Fry." Leela: "So? That's not weird, he's my husband." Amy: "You asked if he was single." Leela: "..." Amy: "You kicked over a table when he said he wasn't."

It takes Brannigan a solid year to realise Leela and Fry are married. Kif has tried to tell him, but Zapp never listened and just never noticed the rings. He nearly crashes his ship when he finally notices

What follows is a long, dramatic sob-fest about how he can't believe he wasn't invited to the wedding

He was. He just never read the invitation and tossed it

Overall, Fry and Leela are just an adorable couple. They're not all over each other in public, but they're always seen holding hands or sitting together. The amount of inside jokes they have is ridiculous. They always smile when they see each other

They are going to live a long and happy life together, so help me god

This got way longer than I anticipated, but that's what happens when you have headcanons for years 😁

[just-another-frender-blog]

The big question: what did you think about the Futurama Comedy Central revival? 😬

So, I'll be 100% honest: I think the hate for the Comedy Central revival is overblown. Everyone's opinions are valid, of course, but I do really like it. I'm glad it got brought back.

I tend to be very patient when it comes to pieces of media I love. I don't always have the highest standards for media either. I'm a massive fan of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and that franchise has very low moments. When Detective Pikachu came out, I saw it three times while it was in theaters. When I was in middle school, I was so obsessed with Naruto that I watched all the unnecessary filler episodes. I should mention that I absolutely love Beast With a Billion Backs despite its faults, it's my second favorite Futurama movie. Once my brain hyperfixates on a piece of fiction, I'll be more forgiving of its faults.

That being said, I think that the Comedy Central era of Futurama has the worst episodes by far. To the point where I have a list of episodes that I will never ever watch again. I also pretend that they aren't canon and don't exist. It doesn't help that the Comedy Central era's season 6 fumbles so hard at the beginning. Imagine my disappointment to find out that the "shut up and take my money" meme comes from the absolute worst episode in the entire show (tied with "The Butterjunk Effect"). These earlier episodes didn't leave a very good impression on me, so it my opinion was very shaky at first.

And then it drops some of the best the series has to offer with "Lethal Inspection" and "The Late Philip J Fry." "Prisoner of Benda" has a moment where Zoidberg switches bodies with Fry, and he blows up Fry and Bender's apartment. That made me laugh harder than anything I've ever seen on TV. And those episodes are far from being the only good episodes in the Comedy Central era. Some of the Comedy Central era episodes are the best the series has to offer. And that alone makes this part of the series worth watching for anyone who's a fan of this show. What I've noticed for seasons 6 and 7, is that the first half seems to have problems with finding its footing, and then the second half does a really good job.

I have an idea about why the later episodes are like this. For one, Comedy Central was way looser on its restrictions than Fox. This meant that the Futurama writing team could do whatever they wanted. Unfortunately, there are instances where limitations can help improve writing quality because it forces the writers to get more creative. They lost some writers due to a lower budget, so I imagine that was an issue as well. Kristen Gore, who wrote "Leela's Homeworld," didn't return to the CC era (yup, she's Al Gore's daughter). I have some issues with the way Leela is handled in certain episodes, and I think this might be one of the reasons why. The writers apparently didn't feel pressured to make all the jokes perfect this time, which I imagine could really wear on them at a point. I can tell that some of the lines they wrote probably needed to be workshopped and rewritten.

There are character consistency problems as well, but this is bound to happen in episodic shows that go on for 100+ episodes. In the Comedy Central era, there are some moments I would consider character assassination, but as I said earlier, I pretend those episodes aren't canon. For the most part, they still capture the spirit of the characters just fine. There was also likely some strife in the writer's room regarding certain elements. If I had to guess, they were likely writing under the pressure that they weren't sure if this show was going to end or not, so they had to make everything open-ended enough.

The original Futurama has some of the tightest writing I've ever seen on TV. That type of near-perfection is nearly impossible to recapture under different circumstances a decade later. But they still made a good amount of impressive episodes. They tried to make up for some of the older episodes that haven't aged well, even if their attempts were a bit clunky. They have a ton of super cool sci-fi concepts they get to explore. And some of these episodes are just batshit unhinged in a way that really appeals to me. So yeah, I think CC era has the worst the series has to offer, but it also has the best the series has to offer. *Also, I think that some of the criticism I've seen for the CC episodes is too nit-picky and pretentious, but that's just my take.*

If you watch the CC era, do yourself a favor and skip these episodes: "In-A-Gadda-De-Leela," "Attack of the Killer App" (fuck this episode), "The Futurama Holiday Spectacular," "The Butterjunk Effect" (fuck this episode too), and "Naturama." Honestly, I thought everything else was fine, some being more mediocre than others.

"Yo Leela Leela" and "Neutopia" really aren't great, but they aren't bad enough to nearly ruin my enjoyment of this show, unlike the above episodes.

Here are my favorite episodes in the CC era: "Lethal Inspection," "The Late Philip J. Fry," "The Prisoner of Benda," "The Silence of the Clamps," (Zoidberg vs Clamps, a fight between god tier characters), "Mobius Dick," "Benderama," "The Tip of the Zoidberg," "Ghost in the Machines" (more like gays in the machines, hahaha), "All the Presidents Heads," "Cold Warriors," Reincarnation," "Overclockwise," "The Bots and the Bees," "Decision 3012," "The Six Million Dollar Mon" (yes, I'm adding it for the Robit Brain song alone), "Forty Percent Leadbelly," “Freewill Hunting,” "2-D Blacktop," "The Inhuman Torch," "Saturday Morning Fun Pit," "Leela and the Genestalk," "Game of Tones," "Murder on the Planet Express," "Stench and Stenchibility," and finally, "Meanwhile."

All of the above are my personal favorites. I found everything else enjoyable and I would still rewatch them. Shoutout to the Bender robot fox episode that parodies "The Most Dangerous Game." It's one of the weirdest episode concepts I've ever seen. I have no idea what possessed them to write that episode, but I got a kick out of it.

[mmollymercury]

I started following you bc I love your encanto fics, but I’m so psyched you’re also getting back in to futurama- I absolutely love that show and forgot how much I missed it until I saw your posts on my dash ☺️

Awww! Thank you so much! I'm so happy you like my fics. Futurama has a lot of problems but aside from those things, I really do love it! I have loads of nostalgia for it, brings back so many memories😭 and Fry and Leela are so cute I actually can't take it, I love the buff girl and male wife trope lol😁😁😁🥰🥰🥰

[darthvaderofmiddle-earth]

Watching the Mutant liberation episode of Futurama. And I always forget how much I see myself in the Mutants. Rejects of the world who are forced into lower living in a place society can't see them, and made to do the jobs that are unsanitary, unsafe, life threatening at all times in every way, and yet those are the backbone of the upper world that keep it the way it is.

Being trans is hard enough in and of itself. But you feel sometimes like a biological mutant. You present outside as your desired gender as much as you possibly can, but it's never enough, you look like some weird combination of genders for a very long time until, maybe, one day, your body transitions enough to present you as your desired gender entirely. Then, your biology is a random mix of sexes. Not entirely one or the other. It's a conglomeration inside.

Just like the Mutants of Futurama, you both look and feel inhuman, even though you're descended from humans. Because of this, it's hard to get a job or place to live unless, like Leela, you can pass well enough that nobody ever questions your presentation, and the normies permit you to live among them as one of them. But if you look too "mutated" (not cis), and if you do manage to get a job and place, it's almost always in a location where you're hidden from society and doing dangerous things that no humans (cishet people) would want to do, thus the work is passed off to us Mutants (trans folk).

But in this episode, Leela and Fry and the entire Planet Express crew, join together to free Mutants to the surface and give them equal rights. And Mutants and humans come together, fall in love, and gain equality.

And idk. I just hope that, someday, my life can be like that. I'll be a dude version of Leela, in that I present well enough so nobody questions me, but I still maintain my pride in being a Mutant (trans), and I don't have to disclose my biology to everybody because it isn't their right to know unless I can trust them because they're close to me, and I do disclose it out of love and a desire to bond with those I trust even more.

And, may I someday find the Fry to my Leela. Someone who's an absolute himbo that loves unconditionally, and doesn't give two shits that his partner is biologically different, what matters is their personality and who they are instead of what they are.

[zoidriguez]

Delivery trio smut headcanons under the cut :P

Fry

. Switch. Bottom preference since he’s not the most dexterous and his hands are probably covered in pizza grease . A pillow princess when bottoming and a service top otherwise

. EXTREMELY VOCAL like just cannot shut the fuck up . A screamer

. But also kind of a giggler sometimes … what can he say #sillysex5ever

. Kind of a manslut Tee Bee Aych.

. Willing to try pretty much anything with however many people

. Too lazy to use toys so his hand has become ol’ reliable

. Kind of awkward and nervous during sex he needs to be walked through it [mostly if it’s with someone he’s not used to]

. *whispering* praise kink

. Obedient …

. Cums pretty fast . You have to tease / deny him if you want him to last long ! [or yknow….overstimulate him…..giggles]

. Def into femdom like cmon now

. Never thought about anal before but gets experimental one day [or bender/leela bring it up to him] and now he lovessss it

. NEEDS aftercare when bottoming . Loves cuddling + baths

. Pussy eater + cock / antenna sucker + ass eater like he loves sticking things in his mouth

. The oral fixation in general is so real he will lick and bite if given permission

. ~4.8 inches . If you must know

Bender

. Switch but only bottoms with people he’s close to bc he’s afraid it’ll harm his masculinity . Tops because he loves the ego boost and bottoms because he’s an attention whore

. Also a giggler when he tops because sex is FUN

. Says the cheesiest most cliché most cringe shit when topping its so silly

. Whimpers and tries to hide himself when he bottoms because he’s embarrassed

. His first few times bottoming he definitely tried to mask that embarrassment by being a BRAT but after awhile he just kinda rolls with it

. Likes edging his partner[s] but the tables turn at one point and he realizes he’s WAY more into it than he thought he would be.

. Into pretty much anything and everything

. *taps mic, clears throat* Orgies

. You’d think he’d like it rough considering he’s. Well . Bender . But gentle sex actually does more for him [when bottoming] because he’s not used to being handled with such care

. Def goes at it a little rough when topping though . Probably has needed to be reminded on more than one occasion to take it a bit slower and gentler with meatbags

. His voicebox glitches and stutters when he’s about to overload

. Has a habit of cursing a lot when he’s really into it

. Can go like one or two rounds but after that he taps out cuz it takes up a shitton of power and he’s sleeeeeeppy

. Likes to be held and cuddled after bottoming [he’s a special boy and needs to be treated as such !]

. Canonically he likes to tease and tickle whoever he’s sleeping with …I think he’d like to be the receiver of that too

. ^ related, likes the outer crease of his chest compartment touched …

. A squirmer . Better tie him down to make sure he doesn’t move too much 😊

. Smokes after sex [obviously

. Has a fucking CLOSET full of sex toys somewhere

. Wireplay ! Modulators !!!!!

Leela

. Top . Femdom all the way baybeeeee

. Doesn’t have much experience but oh man . When she gets going .

. A rigger . Like has definitely memorized how to tie rope

. Kindddddd of a freakkk tbh [affectionate]

. Canonically owns sexy lingerie;]

. Takes awhile to cum

. Quiet but tends to grunt under her breath

. Degrader a little bit

. Maaaaaaaaaaaybe a bit of a sadist

. “Call me mommy”

. Probably gives hickeyssss

. Strip teaser

. Closet full of sexy outfits ..

. A bit mischievous is a silly bratty sort of way

. Will say shit like “oh are you about to cum already?”

. ABSOLUTELY pegs like that’s a no-brainer

. A squirter . Bed soaked sorry

[emo-islandniles]

we have futurama playing in the background while we're being on our phones and it's the gmo episode and fry says to leela that she'll always be the woman he loves and spouse was like "why? she doesn't like you" and i was like "yeah but she does and she doesn't, she's said it herself, like she likes him but she thinks he's an immature dipshit" and spouse was like "so then why does she like him?" and i was like "BECAUSE HE'S SO CUTE AND SWEET 🥺" like sorry honey but im 1000% in love with fry he is such a delightful mess he absolutely melts my heart

[neutrallyobsessed]

If you don't mind me E N T E R I N G your blog, basically i played through investigations and ace attorney 1 recently so i have been mostly just lurking the narumayo tag, instead of playing the damn games and might i ask, do you have any non ace attorney ships you're into?

Why please my dear friend~! Come in, come in! Between, between~!................

Non-ace attorney???? Ships????

sjkjsksjkas ok but i got quite a few.... tis nothing all that interesting, all straight and mostly canon.... if a show is showing me [male character] and [female character] enjoying each other's presence with a lil bit of love-teasing then I'll probably ship it lel

so ahhh mucho texto alert xd:

Of course I'll start with the funny reference above, TUGS.....

There's Hercules x Lillie of course, but Sunshine x Sally... they got something going on~, like the fact that there's little screetime between them and what they have is all very 👀👀👀 makes my imagination soar through the air ngl jsjsjk ((id say something bout the lack of content but we're talking bout tugs, thats in general xd))

On a related note, yes I am looking for some good ships in Thomas but I can't seem to find any or like, ♂ and ♀ interacted and didn't hate each other so SHIP jskjsksjks then again, tis just an adjacent fandom I'm not paying close attention to it

And for the rest of the live-action, I don't watch live-action,,,, but what i have is: Patrick x Teresa and Rigsby x Van Pelt from The Mentalist, Jim x Pam in The Office (everything else idc or dont like it) and most importantly, Carly x Freddie in iCarly. I really drop the show when they made Sam x Freddie canon lmao enemies-to-lovers my belothed </3

______________

I looked through my cartoon list and it's pretty much married couples and all that is canon lol: i like Fry/Leela, Shrek/Fiona, Josh/Emily, Alejo/Valentina, Bugs/Lola, Daffy/Tina, if a western magical girls show gives each girl a boy to crush on/date then imma ship it, I'm just that simple lol

but ofc it gotta be reciprocated, if it's one-sided and the other party doesn't like it then I won't like it either :/.....

That being said, western cartoon romance sucks, they're all so bad unless they're already married ksjakjskajs the fall of western civilization what the helllll

I guess Lotor x Allura or Shiro x Pidge in Voltron:LD but damn, its voltron, everybody loses when it comes to shipping there e.e

______________

And now what's REAL good! ANIME!!!

Starting strong with the best, the god tier, the absolute 10/10 ship of all time...

Marin x Melan from Brigadoon. The ultimate ship. Best love story ever told. No one can deny it. I can't go into much detail because it's better to go full blind but this really is the OTP of OTPs, I'd do more content of them but Melan is sooooo difficult to draw 😭

Unironic and monogamic, Light x Misa from Death Note, I do believe he could fall for her and both really are a match made in hell~♡

Kamina x Yoko from Gurren Lagann was pretty good for what it lasted lel

Gaku x Tsumugi from IDOLiSH7, what a power (and based) move to remove the otome aspect in the I7 anime but have one of the guys be purely in love with the manager of the rival boy band... they're not even "rivals" exactly, they're just co-workers in a somewhat competitive field, is the enviroment that gives it a forbiden fruit/rivals-to-lovers taste but they're actually friends all around lmao

There are many lovely married couples in JoJo, but from the non-canon that I like?? Kakyoin x Holly. For real, it's so lovely, funny and bizarre (xd) not only they should get togheter but Josuke should have been their son. Think about it, he'd still be a Joestar through Holly, have a stand through Kakyoin and it wouldn't break Joseph's character!

Alto x Ranka from Macross Frontier, I don't know/care if there's a movie that says otherwise, these two end up togheter at the end fuck you fuck you ((also Hayato x Freyja in Delta and I still don't know bout SDF xd haven't watch the movie yet... and who cares about seven???))

Lunge and Eva from Monster should have totally team up togheter and maybe fall in love with each other in the process 👉👈

Naruto x Hinata my canon beloved ♥ but..... Neji x Hinata....! aaaaaaa the story is kinda funny actually. At the time I was considering shipping it, r/dankgentina was doing like, a fuck-ton of Santiago del Estero (being the Alabama of Argentina) memes and "La prima lejana" by Los Autenticos Decadentes kept being referenced, for obvious reasons: la prima lejana means the distant cousin♀ so I think you can guess what's the song is about... point being that I thought to myself "If I like the song, Imma ship them cousins". It's a song from my childhood. La prima lejana is a song that I loved in my childhood and now I know what is about and now I ship the cousins lmao.

KawoShin? AsuShin? Kaworu x Asuka! that's where the good Evangelion shits at!!

I kinda ship Utena and Touga, but that's just to trig the libs lmao

Pleaseeee tell me that Claudio and Nicoletta get togheter in Ristorante Paradiso cmonnnnn that was like the only thing i was invested in that god forsaken anime aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa why are joseis like this??? (ok i do know but still... also you gotta bring proof, this is an mainly ace attorney blog, we're evidence-based here 😤)

fuck you fuck you fuck you, Sakura and Yukito should have get togheter, the teacher and the """she's so mature for her age!""" student are actually canon in the manga so CLAMP literally has no problem with that so why not here???.... this are the remains of lil me liking Yukito and projecting through Sakurita but I still agree and now I have more reason to...!

Protagonist x Akashi from The Tatami Galaxy~ very basic, very nice~

Very mixed with the ships of Inazuma Eleven... like, Endou x Natsumi is canon in games and anime and is sorta fun? But Endou x Fuyuka is canon in the game Rangu is playing and it's really sweet and I love it?? But Rangu himself ships Endou x Touko and he's absolutely right??? idk but Kidou x Haruna does slap tho

(and i have no idea in GO, there are so many combos and I guess there was something bout Nosaka and Anna in Ares/Orion?)

I don't really ship much in Pokemon, maybe self-shipping with some of them guys... on the other hand, Lucy actually liked and accepted Brock's advances on her? and that's epic, i love it! And then... then there's Ikarishipping (Paul x Dawn). What a fucking great ship name that is, next to JustWright, it still has that enemies-to-lovers taste I don't like but it is kinda cute and it hold my attention for more than 10 seconds, so that's something- also more fandoms should do that ______shipping naming thing xd

______________

welp, that was a long thing to write lol, anyways thanks for reading, asking and for your patience haha^^

in any case, this makes me consider doing an entire month dedicated to my other aa ships and another month dedicated to all my non-aa ships xd it'll be great~

[recycledbeercans]

Good god I can’t do this. I gotta break my personal rule to not make txt posts on the internet because I GOTTA say something or I’m going to burst.

I cannot, cannot, for the life of me understand Freela as a ship.

I think most ppl are more willing to give it a pass or just shrug and say it’s cute because no one dislikes Fry or Leela as characters, and hell, I don’t even dislike Leela (she’s awesome, I love her, 11/10) but I cannot wrap my head around WHY this ship is canon when it’s written so fucking badly. I’m not even against het ships bc I have plenty I absolutely love, but this one just hits a nerve in me and it grates me even more every time I rewatch Futurama. The older I get, I’ve gone from initially finding it cute to just, loathing it.

Hhrgh ok before people point pitchforks at me, lemme try to explain… my thoughts are kinda all over the place but my biggest gripe with Freela is that it is so ONE-SIDED and FORCED. Leela NEVER shows interest in Fry unless her other options (literally anyone else) don’t work out. She views Fry as childish, immature, and bosses him around much to Fry’s dislike. Most of the time (if not exclusively) whenever she shows any appreciation for Fry, it’s over what he does for her, but she never shows interest in doing anything back for him. You never see her make any grand gestures of love or affection towards Fry.

And ok, yeah, when Fry is saving her life by giving her his oxygen, or jumping in front of a killer bee to try to protect her, it’s easy to go “aww” and want them to end up together. But, at least for me, I realized most of that was directed at how I found it sweet that Fry cares about Leela, not that the two of them are a good couple. Fry loves Leela enough to give his life for her and try to protect her, (but he also feels similarly about Bender, in godfellas really the only reason he even eventually gave up in looking for Bender was because Leela convinced him it was time to move on), but it’s, genuinely something that makes me sad because when does Leela ever return that energy? She doesn’t. Fry pines over her for YEARS in the show timeline and she just constantly turns him down and rejects him, and shows blatant disinterest, until she almost seems worn down because none of her other options are working out.

And maybe you want them to end up together, because you want Fry to be happy, but it sticks out so sorely that Fry isn’t the kind of person Leela wants. Without even getting into how uncomfortable the writing is with Fry constantly pestering and pushing himself onto her and whining that she won’t date him when she explicitly tells him no over and over (the way Futurama treats consent wigs me out but that’s a whole different topic), whenever Leela does show interest in Fry, it’s NEVER because Fry is someone she would pursue or even sees potential in.

This is constantly reinforced throughout the show, such as in the episode where the parasites allow Fry to express his feelings for Leela in a romantic way, the climax/takeaway is that Leela is won over by Fry’s romantic gestures that fit what she wants, but has no interest in him as a person or his gestures when it comes from himself, and even feels grossed out by him at the end.

In The Devil’s hands are idle playthings, ok, yeah, Leela let’s Fry finish his song at the end, and you can say it’s sweet that she listens, but if anything it just feels sad because Fry is trying to express his love for her, and because it’s not ~good~, she’s not even watching with the intent to date him or return the feelings, she just lets him pour his heart out to her I guess, just because, to be nice? is it pity?

Everything about it makes me sad at how empty it all feels! You see a character like Fry be so affectionate and loving, and Leela on the other hand is clearly more independent and goal oriented so she’s not really the kind of person Fry would really get to have his energy matched with.

Not to mention in The Sting, throughout Leela’s whole fever dream after being poisoned, she never expresses missing or wanting to be with Fry because she loves him, she just constantly states that she feels responsible and guilty for his death, but her subconscious has Bender state that Fry is the one person he always excluded from “kill all humans”.

Even in Bender’s Big Score, Leela isn’t interested in Lars (older Fry) because he is like Fry. Lars is a completely different personality, much more mellowed out, completely lacking in basically every characteristic that makes Fry, well, Fry (can you even consider Lars to be Fry when he doesn’t even express anything towards his first friend he made in the future, Bender? lol). I think the point the writers were trying to get at is that Fry still had some growing or maturing to do, but honestly, it’s presented in the worst way possible. Fry is, what?, in his late 20s/early 30s in the show timeline by this point, is he really supposed to wait until he’s like 40 so he’s finally “good enough” for Leela? Is he supposed to become a completely different person so she’ll finally see him as dating material? Like, everything about this is basically just saying that Fry can have Leela, but only if he stops being Fry. Meanwhile, in this same movie, Bender cries for a thousand years because he was forced to kill Fry, and immediately runs and jumps into his arms as soon as he sees Fry is ok. Then to make it even worse, after Leela realizes Lars WAS Fry, she still didn’t decide to try a relationship with Fry, making it apparent she does not see Fry as Lars. They may as well just be different people. Plus, Lars was just, being romantic and suave and wooing her, and once again there wasn’t really anything she was doing to pursue him...

The whole series focuses on Fry having to change himself to be what Leela wants in a romantic partner, never Leela actually liking Fry for being himself. She can’t stand most of his habits, and it throws me even more for a loop that the focus is on Fry having to figure out the right way to win her over, as if if you perform a certain amount of steps properly, you can get someone to like you. It’s just, bad.

Like why is their relationship written SO BAD?! It’s so so so bad.

You can’t tell me that Fry and Leela are supposed to end up together when their romantic chemistry is in the negative, Fry has to both push himself onto Leela, make constant one-sided grand gestures to win her over, give his life for her multiple times, and change his entire personality to be appealing to her over YEARS, and she has to fail with everyone else to finally consider him.

MEANWHILE, Bender, fucking Bender, is so happy to be Fry’s roommate, considers Fry the most important person in his life, is always hugging him, throwing himself at Fry, shows open affection, cries over him, becomes sober when Fry doesn’t give him attention. Even Bender’s negative traits, like his possessiveness, jealousy, are directed at Fry in such an intense manner, that regardless of whether or not it’s healthy, it’s just, precious? sweet? The lengths he’ll go to for Fry’s attention and approval. The entire ending of Beast with a billion backs is Bender being unable to handle not being with Fry and so getting him back, and Yivo feeling cheated on because Fry sent a letter to Bender, meanwhile Leela wanted nothing to do with Fry and even said she needed space from him. Bender loves Fry just the way he is. Fry doesn’t have to change himself to be with Bender, they already live together, they have the same interests (I don’t even think Fry and Leela share interests), they love to goof off and laugh together, Fry is just, himself around Bender. He’s happy around Bender. All these things that make me throw up my hands and ask why Fry and Leela weren’t written this way if they were supposed to get together.

In the episode where Fry is a mutant, Leela wouldn’t even touch him, while Bender just threw himself into Fry’s arms.

And like, here’s the thing, Leela and Fry as characters don’t even have a bad dynamic on paper. Like, I get it! The tough girlboss type character and her dorky idiot bf IS a cute dynamic, but the writers just, wrote them so badly? Like, even if you try to argue it’s to follow the trope of “will-they-won’t-they”, you could easily do that without Leela showing negative interest in Fry? Without Fry having to force himself on her? It could have just been that she DOES want to date him but has hang ups about relationships, or that Fry is too scared to confess to her, if they could have just have, a natural progression of growing closer without all the forced shit inbetween of Fry begging her to date him and Leela saying no and showing her blatant disinterest a million times.

I know some people like to poly ship Fry, Leela, and Bender also but even as someone who is 100% on board w/ poly ships, I can’t see that here either because neither Bender or Fry really are what, Leela wants.

But don’t get me wrong, Fry, Bender and Leela have a great dynamic, those three interacting is WHY I watch the show, but Leela very much exudes mom-friend energy, like she has to chaperone these two dorks and so it’s not really about her getting her needs met...

So uh yeah, i think there’s more I want to say, I could pick out so many specific examples but I’ll stop this here because it’s getting long, maybe i’ll write an essay. But,,

Freela sucks.

Actually the ship just pisses me off I’m not even going to give it the “well they are cute” treatment. I want to see Fry have his clingy, affectionate energy matched because it just makes me sad to think about the fact that he wouldn’t get that from Leela, but Bender would absolutely baby and smother him in affection and return his energy 110%, as he should. Bender loves Fry exactly as the idiot manchild he is.

Those two should have ended up together, or at the very least Freela shouldn’t have been canon. But whatever, I know ppl will say it’s a product of its time, but good god it still pisses me off how mediocre the writing is.

I’m FUCKING FERAL I’M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH OVER THIS.

[sorry-apsalar]

Frender Drabbles: Fake Dating

“Good news everyone,” the Professor said as he came into the meeting room, “we got a package to deliver. However, the client lives in a weird love temple, only romantic couples and polycules are allowed on the grounds. So who’s up for some fake dating?”

“Ooh, me!” Fry raised his hand high, half standing from his chair. “Me and Leela!” Fake dating often turned into real dating, didn’t it? So this was his chance.

“Absolutely not.” Her tone was flat and indifferent as if she didn’t care enough to even be annoyed. Which, honestly was fair, still stung though.

Fry deflated, sinking back into his seat with a sigh. He shouldn’t have brought it up, huh? That was the only possible answer he could’ve gotten so he shouldn’t have…

“I’ll go with you,” Bender said. “A ‘love temple’ sounds like the kind of place that’d have some pretty interesting holy relics.” His lewd chuckle gave away just what kind of thing he had in mind. Which, now that Fry thought about it, probably so.

But… pretending to be a couple with him would be weird. They were best friends though and thus should be able to fake it convincingly and someone had to do it, right? So… “Uh… all right.”

~

The ‘love temple’ wasn’t like any temple or other place of worship Fry had ever seen before. It was more like a large walled in garden with a fancy gate. Inside was a maze of walkways paved with stones of various colours that glittered slightly in the sunlight. To either side of the paths were manicured walls of plants and flowers of various shapes, sizes, and colours, most of which Fry had also never seen before. They were pretty though and filled the air with a pleasant fragrance. Overall it had a very romantic feel even for someone like him who didn’t normally take much notice of that kind of thing.

Combined with the way his arm was linked with Bender’s as they made their way down the path, following their large horned and clawed guide – which would never not be strange because who would’ve thought an alien species that looked like they could be demons would have a god dedicated to romantic love – made him feel kind of weird. Not a bad kind of weird though just… strange. Perhaps it was even kind of nice.

Unsurprisingly it was Bender who eventually broke the silence. “Is this really all there is? Just plants and flowers.”

“Yes. What were you expecting?” The guide’s voice was gravelly and deep.

“I don’t know, something more interesting than plants.”

“Flowers are nice too though,” Fry chimed in because he actually kind of liked it. It probably wasn’t the kind of place he’d want to spend a lot of time or anything but for an afternoon stroll it was pleasant. “But uh… what happens if someone who isn’t in a romantic relationship steps foot on the grounds?” How much trouble would they be in if their lie was discovered?

“Not much.” They then made a sound that was clearly a word in their native language but brought to mind demons again. “… would be disappointed with you though and would curse you.”

That would’ve been worrying if Fry believed in any deities but thankfully he’d given that up even before getting cryogenically frozen.

“Speaking of curses,” the guide continued after a short pause, “I had heard biologicals dating robots was illegal on Earth.”

Oh! This was the first Fry was hearing about that. Before he could ask about it though…

“Yeah, yeah but the robo-phobes can bite my shiny metal ass. I do who and what I want.”

The guide chuckled. “Well, I wish you and Fry a long life and happiness together. Hopefully your archaic laws will catch up to the modern day soon.”

“Uh… I hope so too.” This may have been Fry’s first time hearing of this law but it was stupid and didn’t make sense. If he wanted to date a robot, be it Bender or anyone else, he can and should be able to and fuck anyone who tried to tell him otherwise.

There wasn’t time for any further conversation after that as they soon reached their destination; the center of the maze where the demon looking alien who ran the place was waiting for their package. It was a quick and easy delivery ending with more well wishes before Fry and Bender were sent on their way.

They didn’t leave for the ship yet though. Bender wanted to stay to “find where they stashed their loot” and Fry didn’t mind hanging around and wasting time before heading home where someone would most likely try to get them to do more work. To do so though they had to continue to pretend to be dating and specifically on a date because this was a popular place to go for a date apparently. Which meant hand holding and that was whole different thing than just walking with arms linked, still not bad though.

Strangest of all though was how everyone else they came across, mostly couples here for worship and/or a date, viewed the two of them as a couple. And apparently many of them knew about the robots not being allowed to date biological law – apparently despite living on Earth, Fry was the only one who somehow hadn’t known – and all of them had something positive to say about Fry and Bender going against that “barbaric law”. Which made Fry feel bad because they weren’t actuallydating. It also made him start to feel a little weird after a while too, though he couldn’t place why exactly. So with no other way he could respond, he always just smiled and thanked them.

Eventually after a couple hours had passed and they’d walked through the whole temple garden maze Bender decided to call his search for stuff to steal quits. “Seriously what kind of holy place doesn’t have anything worth stealing?” he said, letting go of Fry’s hand as they exited the temple grounds, staring back towards where they’d parked the ship.

Fry’s hand suddenly felt empty, leaving him unsure what to do with it for a second or two before stuffing it into his jacket pocket. “Yeah, I guess it is kind of weird, huh? Temples normally have like golden stuff and offerings, right? But uh… the whole ‘god of romance’ thing is pretty strange by itself so I guess that makes sense. … You think we’ll have to deliver another package here later?” There was a handful of places they made semi-regular deliveries to, most of them, alas, weren’t pleasant places.

Beneath the ship now, Bender paused to turn and look at him. “Why? Do you want to?”

“I uh… well, it was kind of nice, don’t you think?”

“No. It was nothing but plants, the stupidest of all the living things. Which is saying something since you humans are known for your stupidity.” He turned away, pressing the button on the ship’s key fob to make the stairs descend.

Wordlessly, Fry followed him up, closing them behind himself. It wasn’t the plants he’d thought nice but the walking arm-in-arm and the handholding and everyone wishing them well in their non-existent romantic relationship. It had been weird but if given a chance he’d be willing to do it again. …

Oh! What was that thought he’d had about fake dating often turning into real dating again? But that wasn’t really happening here just… now that he thought about it, he wouldn’t mind if it did. And… and… ugh.

“You coming meatbag or are you going to just stand there staring at the wall until we get back to Earth?”

Fry jumped a little before turning to face Bender. Shaking it off, jerked back into motion, following Bender towards the cockpit. “Uh… sorry I was just thinking about stuff.” And he had a lot more thinking to do about it because it was Bender. What were the chances he felt the same? Probably low, right? He didn’t like humans and all that. But maybe Fry should ask anyway. Would it make things awkward if he brought it up? Nah, surely they were good enough friends that’d it be fine even if Bender didn’t feel the same, right? So he should definitely ask and see what happened.

As they reached the cockpit, Bender took the pilots seat as usual. Before starting it up though… “You maybe want to go on a real date sometime?”

Fry froze, his hand on the back on his own chair. “Wait, really?” So soon after he’d decided he should ask such a thing himself?

“Yes, really. I don’t care though, you can…”

“Of course!” Fry interrupted. “I was actually just thinking about asking you out on a real date.”

“Oh. … Well, let’s go then.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know. Anywhere is better than that stupid love temple.”

[mandareeboo]

I’ll probably never write Futurama fics bc I’m a coward but if I did it would 100% be Dwight and Cuebert getting like a substitute teacher or something and the teacher doesn’t want to do shit so they assign some “tell us what you love most about your family” essay. They take it around the Planet Express crew bc captive audience and get some absolutely batshit crazy answers.

Zoidberg is like “Ah, yes, the professor and I have been friends for many years. It hasn’t even been dampered by how many times we have almost killed each other. S’great.” Hermes shreds some tax forms and says job security. Fry talks about how in the 21st Century he was some lame delivery boy and now he gets to be a lame delivery boy IN SPACE and isn’t that sick????

Leela gives the closest to an alright answer which is “well even when I was technically an illegal person the professor gave me a job here and paid me decent, which was nice of him. Also I do enjoy flying.” 

The craziest answers are probably Amy and Bender. Amy is like “well, I do like science stuff, and the professor lets me follow my passions” while building her 50th failed death ray this week. Bender leans in and says “you know what’s great about workin’ here? We’re all criminals. Ain’t nobody gonna snitch on nobody here. S’free alibis.” “Bender we aren’t-” “Oh are YOU gonna tell on me, bossy boots? Huh? With the dirt I’ve got on you?” “Fine. Whatever.”

Parent-Teacher Conference night gets pretty fucking wild.