gahmah-raan · 2 years ago
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Profile: Ze'emilin'asana Codename: Mortaqa Homeworld: Nar Shaddaa Species: Chiss (endangered purple-eyed sub-species) Gender: Female Age: 3500+ years Weapon: Lightsaber (formerly), Lightscythe Affiliation: Old Jedi Order, Valkoran Empire, Forceless Collective (unconsentingly) The younger sister of Ze'grein'aradi (or Grein as most call her), Emilin has been through many lifetimes' worth of pain and suffering. She was born on Nar Shaddaa after her mother and sister fled from the Chiss homeworld of Csilla to escape a series of ethnic cleansing on accusations of 'witchcraft'. Eventually both she and her sister were discovered by the Jedi Order and accepted for training (although at the time, nobody knew what species they were). Following the end of the Mandalorian Wars, she, Grein and several others followed Jedi Knight Seferin Vaelor - Grein's betrothed and later her husband - to the Unknown Regions planet Ockla Prime after he was exiled, met the enigmatic character Valkor and created an empire consisting of many people disillusioned with their own governments, whether from the Republic or the Sith Empire. Unfortunately, the Valkoran Empire wouldn't be the utopia it seemed to be on the surface. After the clinically insane outcast Sith Lord Masochus came along with his emotionally tormented apprentice, Balos Oiren (who would later be known as Armogeist), Emperor Valkor's plans for galactic conquest via a group known as the Forceless Collective started to surface. She and Grein learned of this, but Emilin was caught by Masochus and Valkor while Grein was forced to flee. She was then possessed by the Forceless Archfiend, Facadma. She was officially listed as having been killed in an accident, when truth, she spent centuries in isolation being physically and psychologically tortured by Valkor, Facadma and Masochus. In addition to being consciously aware of her possession and unable to speak out (even via telepathy), forms of torment included distorting her visual perception (by making her see the world through the perspective of a three-eyed mask), taunting her with the idea that her sister won't come back to save her and cutting her breasts off while she was still conscious. But none of these compared to Facadma combining her powers to make her harvest the living Force from creatures on a planetary scale every so often, as she was often forced to endure the torment of other beings denied the opportunity to become one with the Force. She eventually got her release more than 3,500 years later near the end of the war between the Valkoran Empire and the Galactic Alliance, liberated from Facadma by her distant nephew, Zolph Vaelor (who was almost purely human due to the Chiss genes being thinned out from generations of human breeding) and working alongside her sister Grein, who cheated death and persevered through the regret of abandoning her just to see to it that she was eventually freed and the Forceless Collective defeated. Facadma's death at the hands of both Zolph and her brother-in-law, Seferin (AKA Maesterus) then followed after hers.
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sliceoflifebear · 1 year ago
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Welcome to the third installment @stick-weaponry Where you can submit and we rate/review sticks and talk about sticks.
Why?…Yes!
Now for todays stick, we got the heaviest one yet!
This one is bent at a nice angle and have a nice smoothness on one end. When using this, it reminded me of a Scythe in action. However it can be a unique sword or lightsaber.
Only downside is the angle feel a bit far off, and the smoother end seemed a bit too long. But still good to use.
9/10 This one is a keeper!
Feel free to submit pics of sticks you find to rate and review!
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gifti3 · 1 year ago
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Really into the concept of weilding your partner as a weapon
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ask-hector-and-isaac · 9 months ago
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Post COD Hector:On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard it was to craft that Laser Sword? You know gathering the materials and all
*sigh* It cannot be quantified. I was lucky enough that my Tiramisu was able to decipher an ancient inscription in the Aiolon Ruins. If she weren't by my side, I would have never noticed it.
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It is a long, tedious process. The swords required are all built over each other, meaning you have to forge multiple copies of the same sword. And some of the materials come from monsters that are reluctant to drop their treasure... I killed them over and over until I could not feel my arms attached to my body. Good thing I wasted most of my time in the Infinite Corridor, where time does not pass...
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But it was worth it. The Laser Blade is as indeed as Sage Eneomaos promised. And Isaac seemed to agree...
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thatbendyfan · 3 months ago
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phighting au where the phights are actually them playing pretend in zuka’s backyard and all their weapons are toys
sword (9) is really cool stick
skateboard (10) is ,, he could stay as skateboard ig !
biograft (8) is two knockoff lightsabers
katana (13) is a fake katana from an anime he likes
ban hammer (14) is a wooden toy windforce helped him make
rocket (9) is like those little foam rocket launcher thingies? does anyone know what im talking about the ones where you put them on the air pump thingy??
slingshot (10) is pebbles. he throws pebbles at the other kids. he has gotten in trouble for this but he will not stop.
hyperlaser (13) is a big nerf gun
shuriken (8) is a bunch of origami post it notes he makes in advance (he likes flexing that he knows origami (vine makes most of them for him))
scythe (14) is one of those water shooting thingies but she has a backpack that has a pool noodle sticking out of it and switches between the two . her parents have a pool
medkit (11) is his parent’s first aid kit (they’ve bought like 6 and never learned where he keeps leaving them)
boombox (9) has his parent’s bluetooth speaker that he connects one of the older phighter’s phones to in order to play music. originally he said that bc he just wanted to watch but he later said he has “cool music powers” (even when ban said that wasn’t allowed)
subspace (11) has legos. he makes everyone play barefoot
vine (13) has another really cool stick !! but it has moss and mushrooms and stuff so she tapes origami flowers on it !!!!
the npcs are mostly either parents or just other adults besides maybe lightblox . whenever a “sword event” happens its the parents playing along or when dom and valk want to play instead of watching
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robin-hood-for-freedom · 3 months ago
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doyouremem8erme · 1 month ago
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Hello everybody! Let me tell you about Amphibia.
Anne, Marcy, Sasha Waybright Blue, green, pink; heart, wit, and strength Three stars burning bright Come from beyond to expel the night
Hop Pop, Polly, Sprig Captain Grime, Toad Lord King Andrias Leviathan General Yunan and Olivia
Wartwood Valley, Toad Tower Newtopia and Proteus Wally Ribbiton and Toadstool Valeriana and Mother Olm
Red moon, Lean On Me You're better off without me Bugs and frogs, newts and toads Magic sword, mantis scythe
[Chorus:] Welcome to Amphibia! Though it's weird and random, it's the greatest fandom! Welcome to Amphibia! True, it may seem silly, but it will hurt you badly!
Hop Pop's secret, Family Shrub Corn thief, tea, magic beam Good frog, best friend Young Mrs. Croaker was kinda hot
Cannibal inn, chemistry Vinegar plus baking soda will explode Robot frogs, noir Hop Pop I love the found family trope!
Road trip, fwagon Mysterious factories Robots, cannibals Newtopia university
Kermit the Frog, Mr. Ponds Frog Soos licks himself Laser pointers, Anne's boyfriend Hop Pop is a theatre kid
[CHORUS]
Exploring in Newtopia Polly wants a crossbow Sprig is high, butch newts are hot Hop Pop killed a man
Hop Topic, Frog Claires Haunted basement sleepover A Day at the Aquarium The Plantars are headed home
Shipping wars, cape fires Bringing Fleafy back to life Temples, Flipwart, puzzles Toad rebellion, Warhammer
Heartstomper, No Big Deal True Colors got leaked Intense final scenes I'm sorry for everything...
[CHORUS]
New Normal, Turning Point Love rhombus, say whaaattt??? Pickle jar, rescue Possession theories coming true
Agent RuPaul, FBI Andrias cup size Yogurt pretzels, lightsabers Bisexual evil king divorce
Andrias, Barrel, and Leif Stolen box, prophecy It's time to start invading Earth!
[CHORUS]
In the episode Commander Anne-- Bisexual Sasha? Say tuned! Purple collars, robot judge Underground Wartwood
Twink newts, mushroom cult Buff Loggle enjoys his dress Killapillar kittens Domino is actual god
Dance battles, possessed friends K-pop powers, severed limbs War of the Warlocks, very cute! Vivisection, fire scythe
Core helmet, falling moon Secret spell, synergy boost Greatest treasure, calamity mode This fandom's about to explode!
[OUTRO]
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thewayhelooksatyou · 6 months ago
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The Way He Looks at You Series B. II:I
Cal Kestis Week Bonus Content: In Another Life Chapter I: You're Doing Great
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Chapter Summary
Tumblr celebrated Cal Kestis Week, I used the dialogue prompts for each chapter. This chapter uses: "You're doing great!"
This mini series is what life could have looked like if Reader (lovingly nicknamed "Light" by Cal) had never lost her memory in the final battle of 'The Way He Looks at You'. Rating: 18+ Words: 1.2K Trigger Warnings: Chemical Pregnancy Inquisitor Cal x Reader/OC
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Cal shifts against the rigid cast-plast chair in the Imperial Hospital waiting room. It’s been hours of no news or communication from the hospital staff. All too afraid of getting on the bad side of the Thirteenth Brother to risk passing along information in his most desperate time.
He understands, but his freckled hand twitches for his lightsaber each time a passing nurse gives him the runaround. He should know something about her condition by now. She was unconscious, but not impaled, only head trauma. There is no need for surgery to take such a ridiculous amount of time. 
The scene floods Cal’s memory: pulling himself from the wreckage, digging to find her unconscious body, still breathing, air coming in small gasps. He should have checked to ensure the Jedi was dead, but there wasn’t time, not when Light’s life was hanging in the balance.
Cal couldn’t stop the tears that poured from his eyes, creating streaks of clean skin in the dust coating his face. His hair and clothes looking much the same, the vibrance of his black Inquisitor’s uniform and fiery red hair, muted.
He cried in anger, and fear, as he flew Light, propped up in her usual seat in the Scythe, to the best Imperial hospital in the galaxy. She was beautiful still, despite the blood pouring from a cut hidden in her hair, matting it. Her black dress and cloak painted gray with permacrete debris, no longer marking her as the property of an Inquisitor.
The nurse from before exits the hospital room. Her cropped dark hair and no nonsense expression makes the Inquisitor feel about a foot shorter. He stands, approaching her with caution, hoping she is here for him.
“Inquisitor. The surgery is complete. I have good news and bad news.” 
Her words are short and to the point, presenting an obvious choice.
“The bad news. Please, don’t tell me she’s dead.”
“Well, you’ve spoiled the good news. The patient lives. She should be awake soon.”
Cal lets out the breath he was holding, relief flooding his body, loosening the knots that gather between his shoulder blades.
“And the bad news?”
She purses her lips a moment before speaking. “You’re aware she was pregnant?”
He nods.
“The pregnancy was early, almost too soon for us to catch. The stress of the cave-in has terminated the pregnancy.”
Dead air sits between the Thirteenth Brother and the Imperial Nurse. Cal’s fingers twitch for his lightsaber again, but he resists. Killing this nurse won’t replace the loss of a child. His child, no matter what the Jedi said. How dare Theo stake claim on not only his woman, but his child? If the cave-in didn’t kill him, Cal will. It’s his fault for stalling the couple, leading to the losses of the day.
Cal is not entirely innocent in the entire affair, if he had simply left with Light when they reunited, there would have been no battle, no cave-in, no panic-stricken flight to the hospital, no loss of a child he would never know. Tears well in his lower lids and Cal resists them, ending the conversation with this nurse.
He laces his voice with venom. “I can see her now?”
She nods, points at the door behind her, and leaves.
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Cal steps inside the sterile room, pressing the door shut with a click. He pulls the privacy curtain; the scowl falling from his face, revealing wide eyes, a frown, and the curse of tears daring to fall. He lets them and dashes to Light’s side, kneeling on the floor beside her bed, his large hand bringing warmth to her icy fingertips. The saline drip keeping her extremities cooler than he would prefer. 
Cal uses his free hand to tuck her further beneath the thin hospital blankets, cursing their poor quality. In his annoyance, he unclips his own thick cloak, nearly throwing the soiled material over her now clean body. But he stops, instead tossing it over a nearby chair.
His mouth falls to her open palm, kissing her repeatedly in prayer. “Please wake up, I can’t lose you too. We lost the baby, and I now realize how much I loved knowing that something existed that was both of us, our creation. I will make him pay for the loss he has caused our family.”
Light shifts as his frantic words reach her ears. Her eyes still closed, forehead wrinkling in confusion of the words and a severe ache in her head. It feels like a ship fell on her. She did fall out of the sky in a ship, similar, but what happened next? The fuzzy memories are still too difficult to decipher.
“Light? Please wake up, I’m here. I won’t let anything bad ever happen to you again. I’ll protect you this time.”
Cal Force-pulls the nearby chair, scooting as close to her as possible, brushing a few stray hairs off her face. 
Her eyes flutter, followed by a wince, then she peeks them open once more, squinting in the white light. “Cal?”
He sniffs, before a smile splits his face, hot tears falling onto their joined hands below. “Yes, Light, I’m here. You’re here, you’re okay. I’ve got you.”
She lets out a low groan as her eyes open further, her vision blurry and painful. “What happened? Am I in a hospital? Is everyone okay? Theo?”
Cal’s smile falters at the name of his enemy. “There was a cave-in from the explosions at the base. You were crushed beneath the ceiling. We all were.”
Worry spans her forehead, broken only by another sharp reaction to the immense pain. “Were there any casualties?”
Cal’s mouth gapes, trying to find the right words. 
Light’s expression softens, “Theo…”
Cal’s jaw snaps shut. “Do not speak his name to me. He is the reason I almost lost you, the reason we lost…”
Her eyes search his for information, widening in understanding. “I caused another loss…”
Cal squeezes her hand. “No! You didn’t do this!”
Her face reddens. “I did! I’m cursed! Everything I love dies eventually! I can’t keep anyone I love alive! I’m a failure…I’m still failing!”
Cal’s expression hardens. “You’re wrong, Light. You’re not failing, you’re doing great. You were just dealt a bad hand. It was I who failed you. I was selfish, allowing us to linger when danger was nearby. I should have taken you home immediately.”
There is a long silence as she processes the barrage of new information. Cal’s heart breaks, knowing he should have done more. His mind pulls towards the near decade of being an Inquisitor, assuring him the fault lies with the Jedi. But deep down, he knows the Jedi did not force him to stay on that base. It was Cal’s selfishness that led to Light laying in the hospital bed before him. He is no hero, not since turning to the Dark Side.
Light’s left hand touches her lower belly, tears forming in her eyes. Cal pulls her into his arms, taking care to not do further damage. Grief surrounding the couple as they mourn the loss of a life they’ll never know. The room is silent apart from the shuddering breaths and beeping monitors.
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Need to Rant with Others Who Have Read This Story?
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iamafanofcartoons · 1 year ago
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By far my favorite part of the second RWBY x Justice League movie is that Ruby and Blake are using Scarecrow’s scythe and Deathstroke’s sword and staff. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been very annoyed by the fact that almost none of the heroes or villains who take weapons and armor from defeated enemies as trophies use them for themselves, especially if they ended up getting killed. They’re not going to be using them anytime soon, and they’re clearly powerful if they made it so you had such a hard time defeating them, so what’s the point in just letting them gather dust in some vault or display case? General Grievous is one of my favorite villains because of his willingness to break that tradition with the lightsabers he collected.
I believe somebody who shares your fascination would be @Sir-Adamus who made such a post!
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You should really go ask them! I'm sure they'd be delighted to share their thoughts!
Here is the link www.tumblr.com/sir-adamus/726728397655539712
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its-to-the-death · 1 year ago
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Fictional Weapon War Round 1
Now that our preliminaries are over, we're ready to fight!
Here is our bracket:
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It is kind of ugly and I used the names instead of pictures because I did not want to figure out the logistics of fitting all those pictures (that are probably a bunch of different weird sizes) on here together.
I still need to get all the pictures together for the matchups but I am planning for round 1 to start on Tuesday, July 25. All polls last a week.
Propaganda is always welcome as long as you are being nice. Have fun!
Matchups below the cut. I'll link them to the polls once they start.
Bridget's yo-yo (Guilty Gear) vs Sasha (Team Fortress 2)
Myrtenaster (RWBY) vs Funkfreed (One Piece)
The Wabbajack (The Elder Scrolls) vs Frostmourne (World of Warcraft)
Portal gun (Portal) vs Buster Sword (Final Fantasy VII)
The Punisher (Trigun) vs Orb (Pondering My Orb meme)
The Spear of the Non-Believer (SCP Wiki) vs R.Y.N.O. (Ratchet and Clank 2002)
Bat'leth (Star Trek) vs Nightblood (Warbreaker/The Starlight Archive)
Ness' bat (Earthbound) vs Kendal (Aurora webcomic)
The Throngler (Twitter) vs Shardblades (The Stormlight Archive)
Kurapika's chains (Hunter x Hunter) vs Kenji Kon's butter knife (Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous)
Jack/Sumarbrander (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard) vs Xena's chakram (Xena Warrior Princess)
Soul Evan's scythe form (Soul Eater) vs Lightsaber (Star Wars)
The Master Sword (The Legend of Zelda) vs Ryuko's scissor blade (Kill la Kill)
Riptide (Percy Jackson) vs Rapunzel's frying pan (Tangled)
Riz Gukgak's Arquebus (Dimension 20 Fantasy High) vs Ichaival (Symphogear)
Meta Knight's Galaxia (Kirby) vs Aang's staff (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Piecemaker (Discworld) vs The List (Critical Role/The Legend of Vox Machina)
Sailor Moon's tiara (Sailor Moon) vs Batarangs (Batman)
Bit Stave (Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury) vs Oathkeeper (Kingdom Hearts)
Meowmere (Terraria) vs The Sword of the Creator (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Splattershot (Splatoon) vs Amy's Piko Piko Hammer (Sonic)
Pit's Sacred Bow of Palutena (Kid Icarus) vs Sokka's space sword (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
King Dedede's Hammer (Kirby) vs Shingou-Ax (Kamen Rider Drive)
Gideon Nav's two handed sword (The Locked Tomb) vs Needle Whip (Fear and Hunger 2)
Crescent Rose (RWBY) vs Sting (Lord of the Rings)
Kingdom Key (Kingdom Hearts) vs Ghirahim (The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword)
E.G.O. Weapon Mimicry (Project Moon) vs Dangeresque's Nunchuck Gun (Homestar Runner)
Tissue Compression Eliminator (Doctor Who) vs Spider-ham's mallet (Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse)
Sokka's boomerang (Avatar: The Last Airbender) vs Knife (knife crow)
Gungnir (Symphogear) vs Baby 5 (One Piece)
Oblivion (Kingdom Hearts) vs Brisingr (The Inheritance Cycle)
Martin the Warrior's sword (Redwall) vs Morgoth's mace, Grand (Lord of the Rings)
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gahmah-raan · 2 years ago
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The cover art for Star Wars: Paranormalities: Episode II - Chapter 14: Facade
Admittedly, Facadma is off-model in this piece. The lower face tentacles should be on her cheeks.
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The warm up is over, Round 2 is where we really kick off
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As opposed to the measly 14 matches of Round 1, Round 2 will have a much meatier 32 matches. This time, the list of matchups is pretty long, so I'll keep it under the cut. Unfortunately, there has not been any suggestions on how to handle the Hunter Biter and Monapon looking identical, so for now they still use the same graphic.
Nikol's Variable Backpack vs. Dorrick's Friendship Laser
T-Elos's Scythe vs. Fiora's Silverface
Meyneth's Monado vs. Masha's Dazzling Rings
Melia's Empress Staff vs. BLADE's Ares 90
A's Monado vs. Sena's Meteor Smasher
Pneuma's Third Aegis Sword vs. Malos's Monado
Mechonis's Sword vs. Brighid's Hip Dagger
Shulk's Monado REX+ vs. Eunie's Gunrod
Shulk's Monado (collective) vs. BLADE's Bewitched Glaive: Receding Rust
Glimmer's Wildfire Kithara vs. The Ardanian Military's Ether Net
Mikhail's Infinity Fans vs. Pyra's First Aegis Sword
Riki's Fish Biter vs. Minoth's Gun Knives
Jin's Nodachi vs. Sena's Comet Mallet
Brighid's Whip Swords vs. Poppi QTπ's Variable Saber
BLADE's Verus vs. Melia's Feet
BLADE's Lailah Queen vs. Mio's Moonblades
Matthew's Ouroboros Knuckles vs. Shulk's Junk Sword
Segiri's Ferronis vs. BLADE's Formula
KOS-MOS's Double Ether Cannons vs. Riki's Monapon
Fiona's War Standard vs. Shulk's Monado Dogma
Zeke's Purple Lightning Dreamsmasher vs. Noah's Painted Sword
Mythra's Siren vs. Ethel's Ferronis
Shulk's Monado I vs. Mumkhar's Steel Claws
The Colony 9 Defense Force's Mobile Artillery vs. Mumkhar's Metalface
Melia's World Ender vs. Manana's Battle Pot
N's Sword of the End vs. Lao's Prog Ares
Shulk's Monado II vs. Mythra's Second Aegis Sword
Nia's Catalyst Scimitar vs. Elma's Dual Swords
Taion's Mondo vs. Rex's Firelight Swords
Riki's Hunter Biter vs. Chickenheart Dagmara's Master Art Lightsaber
Lora's Battle Braid vs. Ursula's Beary
Noah's Lucky Seven vs. Dunban's Quitter
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nicolabarth · 8 months ago
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I set out to draw the edgiest Sith OC I could possibly think of. Meet Darth Vengeance from the old Sith Empire. He has a scythe lightsaber because what else could be edgier. Don't ask me how it works. Lightsabers make no sense anyway.
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natedogx15 · 1 year ago
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My Quirk is Using Others as a Weapon
Soul Eater x My Hero Academia crossover Izuku with a Quirk idea.
What if Izuku had a Quirk? What if it was relatively useless due to it's nature? What if it was a Quirk capable of enhancing another's natural abilities in an unorthodox way?
Izuku Midoriya has a Quirk that turns him into a Weapon Meister from Soul Eater. His Quirk allows him to manipulate his soul while also seeing the souls of others and letting him turn people into Weapons for him to wield.
While in weapon form, the person's Quirk seems to be enhanced, and it can be further strengthened when they and Izuku resonate their souls in a different form of Soul Resonance.
For how this Quirk can be enhanced through training, Izuku can learn to turn his soul wavelength into attacks like advanced Meisters, learning how to tell someone's lying by how their soul reacts, improving the strength boost of a person's Quirk when they turn into a Weapon, learning how to balance having multiple Weapon partners, and how to resonate with people better while in combat.
What could make this more interesting is if every person Izuku resonates with ends up feeling really close to him from it. It could open up a lot of comedic moments, like people debating who is the best among Izuku's Weapon partners, and can be a good bridge to any romantic interest you want for him.
Another interesting thing you can do for this idea is still give Izuku One For All to further enhance any Weapon partner Izuku uses (at the risk of them breaking instead of him) and possibly have others learn about Izuku's condition from seeing the other past users of One For All.
Here are a few ideas for different Weapon forms Izuku's classmates can take.
Bakugou
A gauntlet similar to his Hero Costume, a grenade launcher, a hammer, a cannon, or a heavy caliber pistol.
Todoroki
A gauntlet that wields fire and ice, a double-sided or two-prong spear, or even giving him multiple weapon forms for both sides and a soul resonance that wields both sides simultaneously.
Uraraka
A gauntlet that controls gravity, a broom, a whip, or an axe.
Iida
A jet-propelled spear, hammer, skateboard, lance, or sword.
Yaoyorozu
Armor that can have additional features added to it thanks to Yaoyorozu, a cannon, or a halberd.
Asui
Ball and chain, Kendama, a weapon with a rope at the hilt to throw and pull back or increase the range of the weapon.
Kaminari
Any weapon or a gauntlet that's supplemented with electricity.
Kirishima
A shield, armor, hammer, or ram.
Ashido
A snowboard that creates acid under it, a flamethrower-like acid weapon, or a bladed weapon that uses acid to increase its cutting power.
Sero
A large tape dispenser or arm brace.
Jiro
An instrument that releases sonic blasts with a jack that can be inserted into the ground or a hammer with speakers that can also act as transportation, like a witch's broom.
Tokoyami
A scythe, katana, or sword that can manipulate shadows/summon Dark Shadow.
Aoyama
A laser sword, spear, or gun.
Mineta
Bola, a pistol whose ammo can increase and size and act like Mineta's Quirk.
Ojiro
Three-section-staff.
Koda
A whip, a collar that lets Izuku use Kota's Quirk, or bolas.
Sato
A hammer or axe.
Shoji
A scythe, armor, or a sword that can expand/create more blades or material along it.
Hagakure
A light-manipulating sword to turn her attacks invisible and enhance their sharpness (basically an invisible lightsaber), a mirror, or a full-body cloak.
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Star Wars/Discworld:  Cowards Die...
Okay, this is a musing about what would happen after Palpatine dies for real.  And the thought of Death meeting him came to mind...though not quite what he was expecting.
And yes, this is a pun on the old quote, “cowards die a thousand deaths; the brave  but one.”  And I would definitely call Palpatine a coward.
This is a continuation to this scene:
    The late Emperor Palpatine found himself above it all.  To be more precise, he was above the body he had once inhabited.  Said body had been expertly diced like a vegetable. Fortunately for anyone with sensitive stomachs, the would-be Sith Lord Vetinari had then covered what was left.
    Palpatine had never thought much of Vetinari.  He’d thought the man too weak to truly tap into the power of the Dark Side.  That calm demeanor of his was more suitable to the Jedi, though he had parted ways with the Order years ago.  Now, looking at what was left of his body, Palpatine cursed himself for underestimating the would-be Sith Lord.
    No, Vetinari was not a proper Sith Lord.  At the very least, there should have been a rueful chortle as the lightsaber struck.  A true Sith Lord would have luxuriated and exulted in the moment of power.
    Vetinari had merely ended Palpatine in the quietest, most efficient way at hand.  Then he offered some bacta dressings to that pathetic Jedi Vimes and left.
    The scene faded to blackness.  Palpatine could feel his emotions growing distant. He tried to hold onto his rage for as long as he could, nursing the vile ember into a flame that might sustain (ha!) him.  He knew that he was still tethered to the living world with his contingency plans. He would not be in this void for long.
    SQUEAK.
    Palpatine blinked.  Then he heard the tap-tap-tap of tiny, bony feet approaching him.  He looked down to see…
    SQUEAK!  That was definitely a voice, one that wasn’t so much spoken as felt through the core of one’s being.
    The new arrival was a skeletal rodent dressed in a hood and robe.  It held a tiny scythe in one claw, an hourglass in the other.  Tail bones whipped impatiently under the robe.
The Death of Rats rapped his tiny scythe against the “floor” and pointed at the hourglass.  With a start, Palpatine realized that it was his life that the rodent held.  The sand in the top half was clinging to its last few grains.
Palpatine extended his fingers to bathe the Death of Rats in Force lightning.  Nothing happened.  The Force was no longer with him.
SNH.  SNH. SNH.  The Death of Rats was laughing.
Palpatine dove for the hourglass.  Instead of solid contact, he skidded right through.  He kept going until he bumped into another robed figure.
    Palpatine looked up…and up.  The new arrival’s eyes burned blue in otherwise empty sockets.  There was no malice in the figure’s body language, but Palpatine found himself shivering.  Oddly enough, Death held a thick tome in one arm.  With barely an effort, he hauled Palpatine to his feet.
    THERE WAS A MINOR MIXUP, Death apologized.  DUE TO YOUR ACTIONS IN LIFE, YOU HAVE BEEN DEEMED RODENT-LIKE.
    “This has to be an illusion,” Palpatine muttered. “You aren’t here!”
    I AM EVERYWHERE I NEED TO BE, Death said.  I AM VERY GOOD AT TIME MANAGEMENT.
    Palpatine paused.  “You called me…`rodent-like?’”
    SOME WOULD SAY IT IS AN APPROPRIATE CLASSIFICATION, Death replied.  I DISAGREE. RODENTS DO NOT USE POLITICS.
    “How DARE you!” The Sith Lord thundered.  It would have been far more intimidating if he had access to the Force.  “All I did was for—”
    Death held up one bony hand.  Though he did not have to breathe, he sighed.
    I AM NOT HERE TO JUDGE, Death said.  I AM MERELY HERE TO TAKE YOU WHEN YOUR TIME IS UP.
    Death gestured to the Grim Squeaker. Reluctantly, the Death of Rats handed over Palpatine’s lifetimer.  The skeletal rat then looked at the tether behind Palpatine and raised its own scythe meaningfully.
    NOT YET, Death said.  HIS TIME WILL COME.
    Ugly hope bloomed in Palpatine’s eyes.  He wasn’t done yet!
    “It seems that our meeting was brief.” Palpatine leered as he faded away. “I don’t think I’ll see you again for a very, very long time.”
    Palpatine’s laughter echoed as he departed.  Death shook his head.
    The Death of Rats shook its head.  It looked almost downcast.    
    Death sighed and pulled out a folding chair.  A small table appeared next to it with a drink, complete with a straw and bamboo umbrella.  He sat and placed Palpatine’s lifetimer on the table.
Every time Palpatine was pulled back to the land of the living, the last grain of sand jumped into the upper half of the hourglass. Along the way, it flared brightly. Then when the moment was over, the grain tumbled to the ground, in time with the Sith Lord’s reappearance before Death.
Palpatine had an absurd number of contingencies for his demise.  He burned through all of them—at times, literally.  His reappearances were like a malfunctioning holoprojector that constantly flickered.  Every time Palpatine reappeared, there was the shortest bit of a scream.
    The last bit of Palpatine’s life jumped up and down in the lifetimer thousands of times.  Death calmly read his read his tome by the light of the hourglass.  He ignored the Sith Lord’s screams.
    The last grain of sand finally fell. Palpatine reappeared one last time, with no signs of vanishing.
    “What…happened?!” the Sith Lord gasped.  He was on his knees, the echoes of his death ringing throughout his very being.  “Why was my return cut off?!”
    YOUR CONTINGENCIES HAVE BEEN DEALT WITH, Death informed him.  VETINARI FOUND EVERY LAST ONE.
    “Every…one?”  Palpatine’s voice quailed.  It was a far cry from his Senate days.
    EXCEPT THE FAULTY CLONE, Death corrected himself. THAT ONE WAS SPARED, BUT MADE HARMLESS TO VETINARI’S PLANS.
    “How?”
    HE WAS MADE ORDINARY.  HE CANNOT BEAR CHILDREN.
    “And the other contingencies?  The clones?”
    The scene shimmered into a vast, catacomb-like structure.  Thousands of tubes filled the chamber.  However, where there was supposed to be a clone, there was only unidentifiable goo.
    VETINARI LIQUIDATED YOUR CLONES, Death said.  Then he paused at Palpatine’s slack-jawed expression.  THAT WAS A PUN, OR PLAY ON WORDS.  YOUR CLONES WERE SUSPENDED IN LIQUID AND THEN MADE INTO LIQUID—
    “Yes, thank you!” Palpatine said sharply. “Vetinari did all this?”
    YES.
    “What about the holocrons?”
    THOSE HE DID NOT DESTROY, HE INFECTED WITH A VIRUS. I BELIEVE THAT THE DEVICES PLAY A SONG BY RIK AST’LI, THEN SELF-DESTRUCT.
    “What about—”  Palpatine stopped as Death’s burning blue orbs stared right through him.
    EVERYTHING, Death said.  VETINARI WAS VERY THOROUGH.
    The Death of Rats scampered behind Palpatine. The Grim Squeaker made practice swings at the fading tether that bound Palpatine to the living world.
    NO, I HAVE TO DO THIS.  Death gestured for his rodent counterpart to put down the scythe.
    SQUEAK.  The Death of Rats looked disappointed, but its little scythe was lowered.
    Death sliced through Palpatine’s tether swiftly and cleanly.  The shade of Palpatine flinched.
    “Where do I go now?” It was the most honest tone that Palpatine had used in decades.  “Do I…return as a Force Ghost?”
    THAT IS NOT MY DECISION, Death said.  I AM HERE TO TAKE YOU WHERE YOU MUST GO.
    SNH SNH SNH, the Death of Rats snickered.  It waved its skeletal paw impudently.
    The shade of Palpatine’s eyes widened as he faded for the final time.  He saw what was before him and screamed.
    Death extended a hand to his rodent counterpart. The Grim Squeaker eagerly skittered up and sat on Death’s shoulder.
    SQUEAK?
    PEOPLE LIKE HIM ARE ALWAYS OVERDRAMATIC, Death sighed. COME.  ALBERT IS PROBABLY FRYING UP SOME OATMEAL.
    Death summoned his horse and rode home.  He did not chuckle; the Death of Rats did it for him.
--Doc
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jadejetts · 2 years ago
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yknow how people do that funny and claim theyre the ceo of a character? im ceo of a weapon. specifically fortnite shockwave hammer
like. there is no better weapon in fortnite right now. the other melee options put out through my years of playing since the beginning of chapter 2 were the lightsaber and sideways scythe (note i did not play c2 s3 or s4) both were clunky in comparison but if you DID get a kill with them it was super satisfying!! the coolest thing i did in fortnite was way back when lightsabers were first added, i made sure to clip it immediately afterward-
but God that was probably one of very few kills i got with it. you had to get up super close with it and even if you did there was still a high chance of the person shotgunning you to death immediately sure you could block shots with it if need be but once you wanted to go in for the kill with it, it was up to chance. the sideways scythe is a similar scenario, though this time it had a really fun dash/launch mechanic- fun to use as a traversal item? absolutely. but Good Luck trying to get a kill outside of horde mode. now. Chapter 4 Season 1's Shockwave Hammer. right now the Pinnacle of melees. SUPER fun as a traversal item, being able to flip around the map at high speeds (with a dangerously good amount of air control)- but. you can also. Actually. Murder People With It. it's got a fair amount of range to it's crushing blow, dealing 75 damage (and 125 if you're closer!!), AND IT LAUNCHES PEOPLE TO THE HIGH HEAVENS, LEAVING THEM DISCOMBOBULATED, giving you the chance to hit them again immediately after your first hit- and that air control i mentioned is what Really helps you do that. if played correctly, you don't need a singular other weapon- it's stupidly powerful when grabbing multiple of the things!! my general playthrough of a match in chapter 4 is grabbing 3 hammers and going absolutely Nuts with the- oh ok wait no i just died a bunch of times bc i was just out of range you can still get easily killed if you blunder, but at this point it doesn't matter to me because i have too much fun otherwise
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