#Love and respect but neurotypicals don't act like that

[sainthowlzon]

The most problematic thing Mr. RedactedAudios has done was make his autistic coded character bad at Minecraft 😭 /HJ

[punkitt-is-here]

Hey, a little while ago you reblogged a post which says "If you believe a group of trans people has systemic privilege over another group of trans people, you are transphobic." This isn't a callout post or anything so trite, but I think I really respect you as a person, and so I wanted to ask you to think a little more carefully about that statement:

Does a white trans person really not have systemic privilege over a black trans person? Does a neurotypical trans person not have systemic privilege over a neurodivergent trans person? Does a trans man not have systemic privilege over a trans woman? Do you need to be transphobic to believe that?

Agh, I don't really know why I'm sending this. It just feels like the trans community writ large has been regressing pitifully in its understanding of intersecting axes of oppression, and it's really miserable to see that and not know what to do about it.

Sorry to bother you with this, I hope you have a lovely day.

i think i remember your message from a bit back! meant to get to that, but forgot to. i dont got the post on me, but it seems clear to me from what i remember that it was talking exclusively about gender when it was talking about one trans person having systemic privilege over the other. I think many of us already know that a white person is going to have far more systemic privilege than a non-white peer, and that neurotypical people have more systemic privilege over neurodivergent people. this is true whether or not they are trans. I think the post assumed in good faith that we can intuit this and the post doesn't need a million disclaimers for every power imbalance out there.

And I will say, I don't believe a trans man has systemic privilege over a trans woman, thats the whole posts point! Maybe some do, but I'm sure there's an equal number of people in the reverse situation. Disregarding the idea that becoming a man automatically gives you the same privileges as a cis one, there is an extremely wide, near-infinite spectrum of how gender presentation and gender identity intersect, and acting like all trans people of a certain gender have privilege over another IS transphobic. The posts point, from what i recall, is that its shitty to create little microgroups and assume others are your enemy in a privilege pyramid, because we are all trans and therefore we all need to lift each other up.

I'm not really gonna think on it more because I don't have the post but disregarding the systemic privileges that are factored in aside from being trans is fine because I dont think every post needs to cover every alternative point in the entire world because sometimes when you're making a post you just hope people will intuit the obvious. otherwise, nothing concise would ever exist.

[cybertron-after-dark]

I was gonna ask a question but i honestly forgot it 😅 so just tell me something you want to rant about

If you do happen to remember what you were gonna ask feel free to do so, do not worry about spamming my inbox bc I live for that shit.

As for the rant

Transformers Rescue Bots had some of the best, kindest, and most respectful representation of neurodivergence I have ever seen in media and I'm tired of pretending it didn't.

While there are obvious complaints to be made about neurodivergent traits (especially autistic traits) usually being portrayed in media by inhuman characters like aliens or robots, this being a case of both, I feel like thats a pretty negligible sin given just how human the show makes the robots feel. (Also it was like 2011 and we were STRUGGLING for any scraps of rep anyway)

But like. The behaviors all these robots exhibit are all shit that I do that was always deemed unacceptable when I was a kid and seeing it portrayed with the level of kindness and gentleness they do in that show has me fuckin crying a little man. I wish I had actually watched it when I was younger and it was first airing because maybe if I did I would've had an easier time explaining what the hell was going on with my brain a LOT sooner.

Blades being anxious, overly sensitive, and WHOLEHEARTEDLY queer (which they had the absolute unparalleled balls to just casually confirm by having him swoon over "hunky vampires" in one episode and NOBODY commented on it. Fucking iconic) and getting so so deeply invested in the shows and movies he loves that he acts out the roles with enough passion to steel his nerves and completely flourish.

Boulder getting really confused at concepts that are basic and intuitive for most people, but still being so fucking intelligent, and never being made to feel stupid for the mix-ups, as well as just being so wholely, unabashedly in love with the planet he's found himself on, even if he doesn't understand all of it (Also apologizing to inanimate objects when he knocks them over 😭)

Chase being obsessed with rules and law because he NEEDS the structure to not fall apart at the seams, even feeling the need to fabricate a minor crime to justify using the emergency line to get a hold of the firehouse when he can't find the other bots. As well as just fully not understanding comedy (BUT TRYING HIS DAMNEDEST), taking things super literally, and having a lot of trouble with tone and expressions (even though you know just how deeply he feels All The Time).

Heatwave being desperate for attention and recognition, but completely allergic to asking for it. And honestly allergic to showing any genuine emotional responses other than aggression. The constant sarcasm and sass and defensiveness that he POORLY maintains because everyone knows that underneath that tough guy front is the loneliest robot on earth that wants to be loved SO bad but would rather jump into unicron's mouth than voice it because if he lets his guard down who knows what will happen to him or the people he cares about.

Just. All of it man. Seeing them exhibiting all these behaviors and quirks that all too often get met with poor reactions from people who don't want to deal with what they don't really get, but here they're met with patience and understanding?? It's got me fucked up. They get to be functional adults that struggle with what they have going on but still push through. They get to have unconditionally loving relationships with people that treat them with respect. And that's the kind of shit that gives me a lot of hope for folks like me because maybe some neurotypical kids that watched it picked up on what's helpful when their friend who acts like one of the bots is going through it. And maybe some neurodivergent kids watched it too and for the first time they just felt SEEN.

Okay rant over, I'm gonna go cry over some plastic robots 👍

[ohara-n-brown]

I feel like people don't want to accept personality disorders as neurodivergencies because doing so would make us face the fact that they deserve accomodations too.

People with PDs need Accomodations too!!!

Like, yes. People with BPD do legitimately have a different style, context, and understanding of socialization. Just like Autism.

And just like Autism, PWBPD deserve relationship accomodations and their unique socialization style respected.

They may need more attention, or more verbal assurance. Thats accomodation!!

Some people with BPD cannot read nonverbal affection or affirmation. They need it said to them. And being extra clear with them - is accomdation.

Yes, people with NPD may need support, or affirmation, or for you to be clear with your approval, or acknowledge their accomplishments instead of acting like their behavior is expected.

THAT'S ACCOMODATION!!

Like we can understand that Autism and ADHD comes with different patterns of socialization that makes our relationships look different than those of neurotypicals-

So why wouldn't that be the same with them????

I feel like denying people with BPD or NPD or people who are Bipolar their neurodivergency denies them the accomodations they so desperately need.

People with PDs get punished and scrutinized for the way they communicate and their needs in relationships - JUST LIKE AUTISM AND ADHD

Instead of trying to get them to 100% conform to the idea and image of neurotypical relationships can we realize that the people around them will have to meet them halfway in understanding their CURRENT communication style

And that these people are NOT a burden because they require so.

The same as us. Coming to understand an autistic family member or friend means understanding you may need to be clearer, or more direct than with others.

Coming to understand a family member with BPD for instance means understanding you need to direct with affection, motives, and your feelings.

The same is true for all of Cluster B including Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Call them neurodivergent - so we can accommodate them. That way they aren't forced to use coping mechanisms when others around them refuse to acknowledge their needs.

For the love of god stop expecting them to conform 24/7. Stop expecting them to understand everyone else's communication skills when no one does the same for them STOP

GOSH

Like.... Can we give them accomodations now. Can we.

[childofthewolvess]

Reminders for the disabled and chronically ill pagans/witches—

Rest; open your senses to listen to your body's needs.

Let your body ease. Breathe. Take your meds. Drink water, eat food. Nurture your body, for it is a divine temple for communication from the metaphysical; do not push yourself to talk to a deity or god when you need rest. Always pay attention to your body first. In order to healthily incorporate religion and spirituality into your life, the first step is respecting the divine temple of your body in which your God Squad speaks to.

You are not alone.

The gods will not be upset if you don't have the energy to worship or too sick to get out of bed some days. This is a lesson that I've learned the hard way recently. I too strive to give my all to my God Squad 100% of the time, and I am swallowed by guilt when I am bedridden and struggle to do much more than a silent prayer when I am on the verge of fainting again. Sometimes I feel like I am not good enough because I haven't had the time for spellwork or divination or meditation. But I remember, and I ask you to remember—you are not the first disabled devottee/worshipper/pagan, and you will not be the last! Each individual has different needs, and the gods understand that. Part of what makes us human is our flawed and imperfect bodies that need time, care, and attention to heal, and doing so in itself is a divine act.

Just because your body requires a little more care and attention does not mean you're any less valid than an able-bodied, neurotypical, or allistic worshipper.

Your God Squad will wait. And they will be there for you, no matter what, rather you're doing an elaborate ritual/spellwork as an offering, or you're laying in bed listening to their playlist and working on their Pinterest boards. Both are completely valid methods of worship. Take advantage of the age we are in, and find creative ways to recognize worship in every aspect of your life. Don't let yourself be intimidated by other practitioners talking about daily spellwork or worship or communicating with the Gods; your deities understand your needs, and divine love knows no bounds and requires no demand.

[infinitelyprecious]

An autistic person's view on the scene where Aylin decided to open up to the group.

2 disclaimers: 1) Aylin is not confirmed/canonically autistic (afaik), however she heavily reads as one to me, hence why I'm writing this specifically from an autistic pov. 2) I am just one singular autistic person, I do not speak for all of us as a whole, if you're autistic and have different view on this, that is valid.

Part of all this is teenagers being teenagers and I don't expect them to have the knowledge or life experience to handle situations like these particularly well, so this is more me getting my own thoughts and feelings in order. Maybe it can be educational in a way. I'm withholding judgment on how the show itself is handling Aylin's story until the show has finished airing.

Aylin goes to talk with the group, bless her brave heart.

Ton, the smart-ass, asks why Aylin acts like an alien when she knows her loved ones don't see her like that. I get that the writers wanted her to explain at some point why she identifies with aliens specifically, but please, for the love of all that is good, do not say something like this.

This question only shows that her friends in fact, do see her as an alien. They don't accept her like she is, they ask her why she is the way that she is. It keeps boiling down to "Why is she not like us?"

She might be different from the rest of the group, but she is normal. There's nothing abouts her that needs to be fixed. If she wants to learn more social skills for example, that is completely fine. However, it should not be a requirement. And if she wants to learn, patience is important.

Social settings with neurotypical people tend to be overwhelming and use up a lot of energy for autistic people. It's important to go slow and respect her declines if she doesn't feel up to socializing. The last thing you want is for someone to feel like they have to mask or for them to experience a meltdown as a result.

Aylin answers that humans being unfriendly is the reason she 'acts like an alien'. She's been made to feel like she is not welcome, like she isn't just another human worthy of love and respect. It's very understandable for her to then want to remove herself from her human identity and look for friends in other-worldly beings. They don't bully.

It's interesting to me that the whole group stays silent when Alpha asks who did something to her. Did they forget about Aylin shoving a plate in Ton's face or do they think she was in the wrong there?

Because she wasn't. It was visible in her body language and verbal declines that she was uncomfortable and yet they pushed her.

It tends to be harder for autistic folk to handle unexpected situations. Reactions like that are very normal if you get an autistic person into a situation that is overwhelming. They'll go into their fight or flight and things go wrong. That is not their fault.

Aylin goes on to explain what happened and Mawin finishes her sentence for her. Or rather, speaks his conclusion before Ailyn is finished talking. I think this is pretty common decency, but don't talk over people when they are trying to tell you something, especially when they are being vulnerable. Even if they talk slower (which Aylin didn't do, but it's something I've experienced a lot). Please bite your tongue and let people finish talking.

Ton, again, says something he shouldn't have, but thankfully Luna steps in this time.

Then Sun. "Do you know that those who bully and harass people are not actually humans?" The main problem I have with this sentence is that it feels belittling. This might just be a me thing, but the way she says it comes across as if she's pointing out that Aylin's perception of the situation is incorrect.

But they are humans, shitty ones, but still humans and Aylin has every right to view humans as a whole as untrustworthy, because that has likely been her experience. The thing I would've preferred here, would be to jump directly to saying those bullies are garbage. That would've come across more validating.

After this, the friends exchange a couple sentences about how to handle bullies. Which is lovely, except, they talk about Aylin as if she isn't there. She just bore her heart - comfort her. Talk about how to handle bullies later, don't let her swim in the discomfort of vulnerability.

Then Sun goes to touch Aylin?!?!? Again, Aylin is visibly uncomfortable. Please, please, if someone is uncomfortable to be touched, do not touch them. Also, ask! Ask for consent. Again, probably a common decency thing, but the amount of times I've had people go like yeah no worries, but then still touch me is high up. A casual hand on the shoulder is still touch, a handshake is still touch.

Related to that is personal space. Some people's, like Aylin's, personal space is big. They need a good distance from other people in order to be comfortable. If there is one thing I can ask of you it's to try and be observant of that. So that if someone takes a step away from you, you don't step closer again, but allow them their space.

I've had conversations with people about personal space and somehow it blows people's mind that I am most comfortable when there is a significant bigger amount of space between us than they would initially think. Please try to leave space between you and other people. For some people physical closeness is severely overwhelming and it makes it significantly harder to navigate our daily lives.

I do love Ongsa specifically saying Aylin can hangout and eat with them. Often times when you've spend your entire live being non-verbally rejected, it's very hard to feel like you are wanted somewhere. You're always looking for signs that people don't want you there. Having it specifically confirmed that someone does want you there, can be very assuring.

Ton. I would like for Ton to not talk for a while lol. On the surface it might sound nice that someone wants to start a club that is a safe space for other bullied kids, but it is a very look-at-me-saving-people thing to do. It's not treating someone as your friend, it's making a charity project out of their hardship. I get the thought process, but please don't.

I don't really have a conclusion or anything, so I'm going to leave it at this. If you have thoughts you want to share or a conversation you want to start, feel free to. Keep it respectful, but other than that go wild.

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

hey... i mean this in a completely respectful way and i'm sorry if it comes off as otherwise, but i'm genuinely curious about all the anti narc abuse content on your blog... while i fully believe that it's possible for pwNPD to not abuse people, i also fully believe that ppl can be extremely traumatized by pwNPD (two of my friends have mothers with NPD and have extreme trauma stemming from said mothers NPD traits) so i'm genuinely just curious what exactly you mean by "narc abuse"??? i'm really sorry if i offend anyone but i'm just- genuinely curious and hoping to learn more about the disorder because i've had a lot of pwNPD in my life and wanna know more about how they work, how to treat them, etc

Hi! No worries, I accept all questions that are in good faith, and if i can be honest I really admire your desire to learn more, AND I admire the fact that you're so candid about your current feelings about pwNPD. I'd much rather have a person who is willing to learn more after having had bad experiences with pwNPD, than a person who doesn't know anything about NPD and just inherently assumes the worst of us.

But to answer your question: I don't think there's a single neurodivergent person out there - narcissist or otherwise - who denies the fact that their disorder/disability can make them act in ways that they wouldn't act if they were neurotypical. However, no one is abusive/rude/toxic/whatever SOLELY because of their mental illness or PD or disability. For instance, I've had some friends who were really rude to me due to the fact that their Autism makes social cues difficult, but they didn't "autistically abuse" me or anything, and I don't "autistically abuse" people when I myself fumble with social cues due to my own Autism.

(Obviously 'not understanding social cues' isn't comparable to abuse anyway, but you get what I'm trying to say, right?)

While some pwNPD might indeed be "bad people" - for lack of a better term - due to their NPD, that isn't the case for the vast majority of pwNPD, so terms like "narcissist abuse" or equating narcissism with abuse hurts all pwNPD and further stigmatizes the disorder. Even the people whose toxic or abusive behavior can be contributed to their NPD, it's still harmful to call it narcissist abuse, bc it implies that it's ONLY the fact that they have a personality disorder that makes them abuse people, and thus it's only possible for them to stop abusing people if they recover (please note PDs are really hard if not impossible to make a full recovery from).

Also, there's not really any specific flavor of abuse that's exclusive to pwNPD. Like, what does narc abuse mean? That you're a selfish, entitled asshole who constantly puts other people down to feel better about yourself? Well, there's plenty of people without NPD that are like that! Does it mean that you're blind to your loved one's feelings and always prioritize yourself over them and don't care when your loved one is hurting? That's not exclusive to NPD either! Most "narc abuse" behaviors can really be attributed to ANY abuser, regardless of neurotype. I'd even argue that there's more people withOUT npd that do those behaviors than there are people with.

I hope that helped, let me know if you have any more questions!

[allshadesblue]

This is a Succession essay. I genuinely think that most characters in television and films tend to be autistic/autistic coded, and I think this is by complete and total accident

Trying to make a character weird, or giving them issues picking up social cues, or what have you, say, extremely strong interests, it often speaks to autistic people and our experiences in a variety of ways

Kendall Roy is a big one for me, he stims in his car (episode one, rapping and hitting the chair in front of him in the car before his big day?), he's so genuine and cannot tell when everyone around him is making fun of him (L to the OG, singing a rap song he made up about his dad?), he gets emotionally and physically overwhelmed (too much birthday?), he has issues expressing his emotions and picking up social cues (his phone call with the bank, telling Polk to fuck off, where he tries to emulate his father and fails?)

There's this poignant scene where Kendall is calming down in the same way his clearly autistic son does. Both of them are overwhelmed by the family dinner, so they sit outside and play with Legos together, an act Rava, his ex wife, does not engage in. It's parallel play, they're sitting together and calming themselves down side by side, not necessarily playing together. This is very common amongst autistic people.

And Kendall, like many autistic people, wants to emulate those around him socially, so he can be liked the way he thinks his father is. Kendall often incorrectly assumes that if he mimics all those around him, copies their social skills, pretends like he fits in, people will finally see him the way he sees himself. And Kendall really is a good person. At least he tries to be, having that much wealth and power is always going to make you a bad person, especially when you don't take the steps to deconstruct these power structures. But Kendall wants to be a good person. He wants to do the right thing. He tries hard to be the involved father, the perfect son, the kind boss, the fantastic husband, the good friend, the caring brother, the greatest business man, he wants to be the most loved, the most loving, the person everyone likes and who fits in. But he can't navigate it quite right. He's understanding of how to grow Waystar Royco into a business that's successful in the internet age is actually quite spot on. His desire to create what he views as an inclusive environment, a respectful one, is genuine.

But Kendall cannot fit in no matter how hard he tries. And I don't think it's just because of his wealth, though it plays a factor. His siblings, in particular Shiv and Roman, especially Shiv, are considerably better socially. They, like many neurotypicals, can become social chameleons, changing how they interact and act to fit in with whatever crowd they're in. They're out of touch due to their wealth, certainly, but there's a difference. They socialize well in the wealthy circles they grew up in, they transfer these skills to other social circles, they socialize so well they can advance their career. Noticeably, they lie well, they can pick up on when most everyone is lying to them, they can navigate all of their respective spheres well.

Kendall cannot do these things really, when he tries he always falls flat. Even in out of touch, wealthy circles, he really cannot fit in. His inability to be the person he wants everyone to see him as is two fold. His wealth and abusive childhood is one dimension of it, he doesn't have good footing for where to start, so when he genuinely tries he falls flat on his face. But he's autistic, compounding these issues. It makes it much harder for him to actually understand what to do, how to do it, and his only guides through his life were wealthy people constantly working to undermine him, to cut him down. Shiv and Roman, not so much. They know what is the "right thing" and what is socially seem as the right things to do, and they can adapt their presentation to match that. Shiv knows it's socially acceptable to be a democrat, and so she is, though she isn't one. Kendall cannot, and though he tries to do the right things, and he tries to do them because he sees them as the right things, he cannot conceptualize a life other than his own, cannot fit in, and with no other guide but his father, cannot be the person he truly wants to be.

His attempts are genuine. He tries very hard to be an excellent father. He loves his children. He is by no means good at it. But he wants to be. And he makes greater strides than his father ever did, and in many ways for him this is a great effort. He is pained by how no one seems to like him, no matter what he does. There's this scene in the first season, where he looks at the falling stock price and tells his brother, "this is how much no one likes me." In season three, he tries to get people to like him by being self aware about how much they hate him, tries to let himself be made a mockery, because then maybe they'll want him. But he doesn't understand why they do. And it becomes a form of self harm, like maybe if he lets them hate him to his face, he'll understand why they do emotionally. Sometimes he understands objectively, but really he doesn't. And he self medicates to make it easier.

Kendall noticeably does drugs the most when he is struggling to fit in socially. Before therapy with his family, because he wants to fit in with the group of people he's with, wants to fit in back home. Also a very common autistic experience. It seemingly makes him likeable, makes him comfortable, lowers his inhibitions so that maybe he'll fit in, and maybe he'll get over his fears.

Kendall's struggles as an autistic person become Shakespearean in height due to the wealth and station of his life. It makes you wonder if one moment of his life were to have been changed. Say he doesn't get into the accident with the waiter, he'll escape the grasp of his father, and probably he'll have the means he always wanted to create the meaningful change he longs for. He stays committed to outing his father's negligence on the cruises. Something different, something new. Hell, even just a diagnosis, and I'd bet Kendall's life looks utterly different. It allows him, at the very least, a modicum of comfort and understanding of his life. Best case scenario, Kendall has the tools to navigate the world, and as such, can become the very good person he feels he ought to be.

Kendall Roy has autism. And autism is not tragic, but him having it in a world so hostile to him, without the knowledge of his autism, is.

[strawberryamanita]

Alright, it was a bad idea to go into the neurosparkly tag. People are chill in the neurospicy tag, but it's just hatepost after hatepost after hatepost in the neurosparkly tag.

I was gonna keep my mouth shut, but now I'm pissed. Y'all really know how to make a person's skin crawl.

Rant below.

Listen, this reeks of one person pulling "neurosparkly" and "neurospicy" out of a very obscure conversation and going "hmm, this gives me the willies, so it looks like an acceptable target to me!", and I'm already sick of it. This gives me the exact same vibes as that one famous post about transmeds vs transtrenders -- this idea of pinning one form of self-expression against another, in the name of dunking on fellow marginalized people that are giving your demographic "a bad name". To that end, I'd like to remind y'all that the original artist of that post admitted they weren't acting right about trans people that aren't like them, and so I'm hoping we get over this and get over it soon.

Because we cannot keep doing this.

Every. Summer. Every fucking Summer, this website has to put a spotlight on a new group to punch down on. First it was just about every LGBTQIA+ group outside of cis gay men you could imagine -- lesbians, bis/pans, trans people, ace people, non-binary people, people who identify as queer (we're literally all queer, but that's another convo all together), you name it. It literally never stops, you people have to be taught over and over again that, no, this one group isn't okay to target either, that's your family too, you're not better than them for being a different flavor of weird.

Now we're doing this to neurodivergent people? Neurodivergent people. The overwhelming majority of this website. You're gonna try and clown on other neurodivergent people for, what is it, being cringe? After we just agreed that embracing cringe is a huge step towards self-acceptance and self-love? tumblr is THE cringe website. We don't do optics here, we don't clean our metaphorical rooms when guests are over.

Like what, we have to take every moment of our neurodivergent lives seriously? It's ridiculous enough that we have a "normal" model for how a brain should be, compared to all the different ways a person can develop. Are we such tragic figures that we can't take the smallest delight in calling ourself a fun little nickname? It's not self-censoring, it's not like "handicapable vs disabled", let's not treat this thing like a gust of wind on the house of cards that is our (quite necessary) camaraderie.

Are we gonna start zeroing in on specific neurodivergent conditions next? How long are we gonna play this stupid game of Who Is It Okay To Bully on this website? If you wanna look like a mature and poised and respectable lot, you can't be doing something so petty, whether it's for fun or "for the cause".

Y'know what? I support neurosparkly. I support neurospicy. My neurotype is glow-in-the-dark. It's glittery, it's color-changing, it's metallic and covered in rhinestones and smells like artificial fruits. My neurotype is crayon drawings and old kids' meal toys and bubble machines and getting bleary-eyed over Muppet songs. My brain is covered in holographic stickers and playing 8bit videogame music on loop. I am Cringemeister General. You could only wish to be as cringe as me.

Now cringe. Cringe and cope and seethe and mald. Dig up everything you can about me to attempt to punish me for disagreeing with you, and let your confirmation bias run wild. Post me on r/cringe, make a YouTube or TikTok video about me, pick me apart on a livestream, make me the poster-boy of your disgust, print out a screenshot of my blog and throw darts at it. Dance the dance of self-hatred, and then wait in the wings until you get to dance it again.

Eugh.

I'm gonna close this rant using every argument that I've seen effectively shut down these yearly attempts at putting eachother in the pillories, because I don't know if I can take another Summer of this:

If you start picking on people for using "neurosparkly" or "neurospicy", I'm assuming you're a fed. Infighting only helps the oppressors, and if we spend our energy trying to police eachother we're not going to get anything done. Kill the cringe cop in your head. There's as many ways for a person to live as are, have been, and will be people on this planet; there's a good chance you're gonna hear about some people who give you the ick, but you're gonna have to swallow that ick and respect them anyhow.

Every ounce of energy you spend rolling your eyes at people you consider beneath you can be spent chipping away at a person in power. Every minute you choose to spend tsking or turning up your nose at "weird" kids can be spent advocating for that weirdness and normalizing being fucking nice to people. You punch down or punch across because it gives you quicker, more visible results; if we're all punching up, they'll have no other option than to listen to us.

There is enough room for everybody. Even the neurospicies, even the neurosparklies.

PS: Any attempts to make fun of me or the people I talked about in this post are just straight-up gonna be ignored. I don't see why you'd want to convince me to think less of others, so trying to sway me is gonna be difficult on your part. I'm not debating anyone's rights, and I'm not gonna conserve spoons to argue with a stranger. I have Anons turned off already, so if you wanna get up in my virtual face you won't have a disguise to protect you.

Thank you for your time.

[storkmuffin]

it might be worth considering that

1) the people silver chooses to make fun of are not people who tend to be vulnerable on the crew, they are largely people who are on the vanguard/we see otherwise being treated with respect. Nothing indicates that they face real consequences - is it dumb and immature, yes, but largely Silver is the one who gets hurt over it.

2) I know it's different with fictional people, and I'm NOT saying you are bad or causing harm or anything, but I do think it might be worth reflecting on that while you're saying only neurotypical people bond over people being tortured, you, a loudly professed neuroatypical person, are the ONLY one I've ever seen actually rejoice in Silver being tortured, and you certainly seem to bond with people who agree with you about him.

All I'm saying is things might not be as clear cut as you are making them out to be.

Oh dear. A John Silver stan that broke into and read an #anti john silver tagged post and got upset. Please don't read those if you're a John Silver stan. Abide the tags. Those posts so tagged will make you unhappy. Also, consider blocking me.

I'm taken aback to be called "loud". I suppose this means I've been much more impactful, at least on you, than I expected. Again, consider blocking me and not reading my tagged posts.

I have not rejoiced in John Silver's torture or maiming, loudly or otherwise. I said I didn't feel the sadness for his plight that the show (the acting, the set up, the direction, the music) insist that I feel and that disconnect made me want to stop watching the show altogether.

You're also missing the point of my recent post. I was trying to understand why I - me in particular- found this character that does in fact have very devoted hardcore stans so intensely off-putting well before he commits his unforgivable finale actions. I have found my answer.

And you're wrong in the rest of what you've said. Silver doing that does have consequences that reverberate through the story, for one, and for another, the bonding through singling out and humiliating people is harmful and repellant. Being wounded can be an internal invisible event. You probably take pride in being able to bear humiliation and be "fine" when something like that happens to you, whereas I object to the very act of intentionally causing humiliation. And John Silver gets punched, yeah, but he doesn't get hurt at all by creating that environment- he wins.

Oh, and - People I've become friends with in the Black Sails fandom don't monolithically agree with me about Silver, for one, and for another, I don't bond over hating Silver. Mutuals and I have bonded over loving the characters we love, loving the show overall, and some very open minded people just like having someone on their dash who says something new about the show.

I've had this said to me on tumblr before in a different fandom with much less civil discourse- You're The Only One I've Ever Seen Do/Say XYZ (disapproving in neurotypical). It's very cute that this is the weapon you reach for on the microblogging site in a fandom for a show that stopped airing six years before I found it. I'm not original enough to be the only person who ever thought any thought so if I felt it strongly enough to say it there's probably a lot of other people who felt it too. Again, abide the tags, friend.

[polarbearqueen3527]

I posted 1,189 times in 2022

117 posts created (10%)

1,072 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pencil-case-watches

@dragonwolf3416

@amongus-pussy

@neohood

@annikathewitch

I tagged 72 of my posts in 2022

#jumblr - 4 posts

#tumblr milestone - 2 posts

#yeah - 2 posts

#politics - 2 posts

#tw abortion - 2 posts

#3000 posts - 1 post

#this is my gender - 1 post

#i think - 1 post

#tw bugs - 1 post

#moth - 1 post

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i'm mutuals with someone else who also regularly says noted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

To start this post, a disclaimer: I'm not qualified to talk about this. This doesn't mean I can't, or that I'm automatically wrong, but it does mean you should not put me up on a pedestal. This also isn't to say I have no experience. This post is a combination of ideas from my observations of sped / other programs for kids with disabilities, as someone who sits right on the border of needing that help. It's also based on ideas from temple grandins book "Animals in translation", from the anthology "what every autistic girl wishes her parents knew" written by autistic women, and a few other books by autistic authors. With all that out of the way, let's get started.

One thing I've noticed is that people working with people with disabilities who don't communicate verbally in a fluent manner, either by talking or by using sign language or a talker, is that they tend to forget they're working with people. They don't nesscesarily forget that the person they're working with is human and should be treated with appropriate respect, but they tend to forget that, even if they can't express their thoughts and feelings, they may still have them. I've never seen someone ask what's bothering someone in shutdown or meltdown, and, as someone who does get those, that's absolutely a question that should be asked. When someone goes into shutdown, what I tend to see is people pushing them to start acting "normal" again. They don't process that a shutdown or meltdown IS normal for them. A shutdown or meltdown is someone taking the time to self regulate. Stopping people from doing that is like stopping someone who is too hot from taking off a jacket. It's harmful. If added up again and again through repetition, it can be abusive and traumatic. Imagine that instead of someone going into shutdown, you have a baby that's crying. (Please note that I'm not saying disabled people are like babies) you could shout at it, or physically hold it's mouth closed. But everyone knows that's abusive. What you do is try to figure out what's wrong, and fix it. The same goes for so many other situations, and that should include people with disabilities. Don't force them to act like neurotypical people, and don't assume that the way they emote is the same. For instance, when I'm in pain, I don't cry. It's not that I'm holding back, pain just doesn't make me feel like crying. A disabled person may well know what's wrong, even if they're not sure how to communicate it. Reach out to them, and help them do it. If you have to physically restrain them, you're probably doing it wrong.

7 notes - Posted February 16, 2022

#4

Special really weird love languages:

Yelling at someone for binding unsafely

Leading someone so that they can close their eyes at a party with flashing lights that don't work well for them

Sharing your favorite stims

Taking care of someone's emotional state

Cooking people their favorite cookies

Simping about your partners to people

Talking about your own somewhat different special intrests/ hyperfixations and they talk about theirs

Telling them when you discover a piece of media you think they'll really like

8 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

#3

So I got a long sponsored post (missed the sponsored part and the blog url) and I was like huh what is this post looks like a story that's cool

Looks like letters to a character called yisarael maybe it's from jumblr

Saw the url looks kinda christian hmm

And then this line and I knew oh so christian

(screenshot reads grant me a place in the marrow of your bones)

Like how do I know this is Christian? Idk, but my friends agree

9 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#2

This post is about accommodating people with food allergies, and written by somebody with allergies of a variety of severities.

First, know that:

Not all allergies are life-threateningly severe.

Every single allergic reaction is different: not just depending on the person and/or the allergen, either.

Not all food sensitivities are allergies.

Allergies are different from gluten intolerance, lactose intolerance, and celiac disease.

Allergies do not just affect children - some people grow out of their allergies, some don't.

Allergies are not just to the "major" allergens (peanuts, treenuts, sesame, dairy, eggs, wheat, milk, soy, shellfish and latex)

Some people are fine as long as they don't eat large quantities of whatever they're allergic to, and some people shouldn't even be in the same room as their allergens.

Contamination (allergens accidentally getting on things) can be in foods and drinks, on objects or hands, or airborne.

Not everyone with allergies needs or carries an epi-pen or benadryl.

An allergic reaction can be mild enough that only the person having it notices. Just because you can't tell someone is having an allergic reaction doesn't mean it's not unpleasant for them.

Some people have to worry about cross contamination. Some don't.

Never try to test if someone is faking an allergy. Best case scenario they no longer trust you, worst case scenario you're now a murderer.

Listen to people about what they say they need.

If you decide not to alter a recipe so someone can eat it because you don't want to, you're being an asshole.

If you cook for anyone you don't know well, make sure you at the very least know what major allergens are in the food.

When someone says they'd rather not risk contamination and won't eat the thing you made, it isn't because they don't trust you not to do your best. It's because they'd much rather have a 100% chance of nothing happening than try your food and have a small chance of having a very unpleasant day.

Some people are ok if there are trace amounts of allergens. Some aren't.

Not all allergies are anaphylactic.

Please reblog, but don't feel obligated.

13 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hey, everyone, what's a literary device you enjoy writing with?

I'll go first, I'm a big fan of repitition.

43 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[vole-mon-amour]

6x18. Listen, I can't stress this enough: JJ was missing since literally 6x02. Seeing her talking, moving, working with them and helping one, in the same frame as Penelope and Aaron, was just mindblowing. Yeah, yeah, I'm easily impressed, whatever, but I missed her so fucking much? I didn't expect her cameo until she comes back in 6x24 & I was absolutely delighted to see her.

Literally one frame after another. Aaron being so protective and serious in a sense "I am angry. I will do everything I can to save her. She is one of my own." Emily recognizing them as "her people." ;______; Good for you, Emily, good for you!

I thought this destroyed me, but I didn't know what was coming after this. Nonetheless, "baby." This episode was a Development for Derek. Even with his already existing respect for women, him going from "I feel like I don't know her. I trusted her with my life." to "I am so proud of you, I am not letting you go. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me. That's right, keep squeezing." was GOOD. I hope he learned something from this experience.

The trope of "let me go" though... a lot to unpack and think about here.

Oh, that filming in the waiting room. These husbands seeing JJ coming out of the hospital area and still hoping. I genuinely love seeing them from every perspective and in every possible emotional state.

Listen, that wasn't (was NOT) NECESSARY. This was peak acting. If I were to writing this while live watching, oh, how I cried. This was just so cruel.

That soft Spencer's voice, not even breaking, but still quietly losing it. And I believe it was directed by Matthew himself? Talented people are talented in everything, I guess (he also draws <3).

Plot wise, Spencer saying this after telling her about his headaches & in such manner, after purposely getting up to see Emily's body to hold her hand and to say her goodbye? The writers seriously want to tell me this kid isn't on the spectrum? Idk about full on autism, but a neurotypical person would never (and I don't even think a talk about him being neurotypical or neurodivergent is even happening, it's not even a question).

This checks a lot of boxes for me (not to mention this immediate raw grief in him, the same one I felt when my dad died last year & I, too, couldn't say him goodbye between me talking to him one day & learning of his death the next day & seeing him in an open casket a few days later.)

Spencer is pretty and all, and I enjoy watching him (and Gubler's beauty and acting skills), but the importance of his character cannot be underestimated. He is so important for this show and for the media (and people that struggle with the same issues that he does). He happens to be so much more than what the show presents you during the entire s1. Whatever he is, I love, support, and relate to him.

Everybody crying at the news, but not Aaron. If he knew, that's understandable — the weight of Emily's decision, but at least she's alive (I still wonder, what was Aaron and JJ talking about?). If he didn't know, that breaks me to pieces because how stoic can one man be? Just quietly getting up and walking away, but not being able to cry even in the hallway, where no one can see or bother him. And how excruciatingly painful his fall will be when he is alone and no one can follow and support (comfort) him. An interesting idea for a fic but I'd rather see anyone from the team (most likely David tbh, 'cause Aaron allows himself to break down only in front of Dave) following him, placing a hand on his shoulder or even pulling him in for a hug. I understand that the breakdown probably happened at home (and David, that left his grief at the hospital, holds him while Aaron breaks down), in between this hospital scene and funeral (or maybe even after, because i've been there, too, and I understand), but it's still such an important addition to his character.

THIS what broke me. I literally washed myself with hysterical tears and "what the actual fucks". Knowing that Emily is alive didn't do anything for me, I absolutely lost it (knowing vs seeing and accepting are completely different things). Seeing the entire team carrying a casket of their found family member isn't what I signed up for starting this show & it isn't something that I could've been prepared for.

I still wonder if Aaron knew (because others definitely didn't). I feel like maybe Aaron didn't know, but suspected & caught JJ on it (but then again, what were they talking about at the hospital???)? He was watching her very closely, but he was still kind of torn about it? I felt some reluctance from him, and there was also something heavy, this burden. I hope they explored it before the girls come back (don't tell me, I want to find out for myself).

As for Paris, I'm not sure I am ready (or want) to to talk about that. Definitely a lot of potential for fanfiction, but if I didn't saw gifs of JJ & Emily in Paris, I would've stopped after the burial and cried for god only knows how much before I could finally muster enough strength to finish the episode. They literally cut such perfect sad music to "surprise, bitch!" Like, that wasn't necessary, lol. Me sitting with tears still wet on my cheeks, and the writers and Jemily smiling in my face. Who knew JJ's appearance would lead to such mischief (definitely not me).

[missbumbleb33]

Tag Challenge !!

(Tagged by the lovely @47s-left-tit ; muscular men w boobas are always righteous)

Fave color:

All shades of green; mint green resonates w my childhood self and i love me some dark green on clothes, interior decor, etc. Love chartreuse bc it sounds like shart and it makes me giggle. Did yall know there's a type of green called 'hooker's green'? unrelated to sex workers, unfortunately

(my man william hooker, pimp creator of hooker's green)

Last songs:

Six Days (Remix) by DJ Shadow - Beautiful lyrics, def relevant today with all the mess in global affairs rn. A bit bummed out rn bc I just found out that it's from Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift and I did not expect that

Coconut Mall Jazz Arrangement by insaneintherainmusic - 'ya like jazz~?' yeah i fcking love jazz. as a classical clarinetist (non-professional lol) who's nearest attempt at jazz was w the clarinet introduction in Rhapsody in Blue i have so much respect for jazz musicians. If jazz ever had a human form I'd simp the hell out of them. it's such a beautiful genre of music and modern music def needs to give it more credit bc w/o it we wouldn't have a lot of music we have today. sorry that was a terrible sentence but god i love jazz. it's like eating an awesome 7-layer dip. i fucking love 7-layer dips. I recommend everyone to watch 1959, the Year that Changed Jazz , awesome documentary.

(fuck now i'm hungry)

Last series:

Extraordinary Attorney Woo - Such an adorable kdrama. While I don't think it's the BEST representation of autism for the Korean audience, I do think it's a fairly good step in the right direction! I rlly like how Woo solves each case with a creative way, which is my primary reason as of why I enjoy the show. But I think it's also worth mentioning the impact it has on Korean society. As a Korean person who often spends a lot of time on Korean media, I've read, heard, and watched stories about how EAW actually has increased prejudice against autistic ppl in some ways. The drama promotes the misconception that an autistic person must be good/genius at something, and when such a misconception is corrected by an autistic person or a person who cares for an autistic person, ppl get disappointed. Many Korean primary/secondary school students have also pointed out how their friends have started using 'Woo Young Woo' as a mocking nickname for ppl who may not necessarily fit in with the crowd, autistic or not. The drama has also encouraged young ppl to act like the autistic protagonist, which often turns into a display of mockery against autistic ppl. Although the drama does break the stereotype that autistic ppl are intellectually/emotionally inferior to neurotypical ppl, it also indirectly encourages ppl to exotify and, to a certain extent, fetishize autistic ppl. That being said I think that EAW does have great potential for future kdramas to include more positive, nuanced, and accurate representation of autism.

(edit by u/Dinen1203 on the r/ExtraordinaryAttyWoo subreddit)

Last movie:

Minions: The Rise of Gru - I'm 👱 having a bad bad 🔺🚫 day 🌞⏳ It's 😝 about time that 😐➡ I 😏💯 get 🉐🉐 my ⚖ way 👉➡ Steam ♨💨 rolling 😋😋 whatever I 👀 see, 👀👁 huh ❓ Despicable me 🏻🏽 I'm 😠 having 👉 a 👏 bad 😍😍 bad 😈 day 🙏🏼 If 🤔🎅 you take 💨 it 😏 personal that's okay 👍 Watch 👀 this 👅 is 💦💦 so fun to 🏼 see, 👀👀 huh 🤔❓ Despicable me 😩

(hungry for some filet minion)

Currently reading:

The Mad Farmer Poems by Wendell Berry - I like to annotate my poetry books so it'll take me some time to go thru it lol. Just started the book so I don't really have anything to say about it atm

Waterland by Graham Swift - Recommended by my emotional support English teacher during my senior year in high school. Literally just started so idk what to say about it

(haven't rlly read the books yet so i can't put a relevant image to the books specifically, enjoy the shutterstock photo tho, def paid for it)

Currently working on:

Unforeseen and Unconditional Sacrifices - A Hitman Agent 47 x OC fanfic, I do cross-post on Ao3, Wattpad, and Quotev for this one. Just started posting on tumblr tho bc i like the layout of this site

Yuji's Lobbyverse - for me friend, and her beautiful OCs.

A Pokemon Legends Arceus Adaman x OC fic, finishing up my oc's backstory. God I love fictional men w long hair and sharp eyes.

(edit by me :) )

Tagging:

@yujiispotato , you are my only other tumblr mutual :,)

[four-rabbit]

Share the character sheets Penis 🔫

Mads I'm guessing that's you

pLEASE don't call me Penis in public I have a reputation T-T

Anyway, the character sheets, first of all we have the protagonists, aka the suway surfers:

Fresh

Age: 14 (almost 15)

Pronouns: he/him (cis male)

- Fresh is the middle child of a pretty big family

- And has a good relationship with that family

- Of all the protagonists he's the most anxious and known as a peacemaker.

- He cares a lot about being neat and clean and keeping his things neat and clean

- He loves music and the 80's

- He's autistic and has music as a special interest

- His music box is his special object he will have a mental breakdown if it breaks

- He would rather die than eat mayo

- He and Jake go to the same school and that's where they met

- Jake was definitely a bad influence on him

- Wants to be a professional DJ

Jake

Age: 14

Pronouns: he/him (trans male)

- Only child raised by a single mother

- His dad was around when he was a child but left when Jake was like seven and they haven't see each other ever since

- His mom never talks about his dad and Jake himself doesn't have many memories of him.

- Definitely the most rebellious out of the group, that guy has no respect for authority (as he should)

- Loves fast food like a lot

- Unhinged little gremlin

- latino

- Trans guy

- his mom tries her best but she works a lot and isn't there for him as much as he needs

- Autistic and ADHD

- Skateboarding and graffiti are special interests

- fast food is comfort food

- He despises tomatoes and beans with every inch of his body

- He doesn't really know why he acts out so much.

Tricky (aka Beatrice)

Age: 15

Pronouns: she/they (girl to the left)

- Her family is really rich

- Has a lot of pressure on her to be perfect (haha mood)

- Does ballet but hates it

- Gets stressed easily

- Token neurotypical

- Has some anger issues

- Has an older sister (Lucy) that ran away/was kicked out when Tricky was like 10 and she hasn't seen ever since

- Has a terrible relationship with her mother

- Has considered running away from home, just like her sister, multiples times

- Doesn't go to the same school as Jake and Fresh, she goes to a private school and she has no friends there.

- From all the kids she's the one that knows the most who she wants to and that is the complete opposite of her mother

- Her father is very supportive and they do have a good relationship, he's actually the main reason why she hasn't run away yet and tries to keep her wrong doings in secret

Yutani

Age: 13

Pronouns: they/she (nonbinary)

- they're adopted

- They have a crush on Jake (and he's apparently totally oblivious about it)

- Also raised by a single parent, her dad

- autistic

- Aliens and chemistry are special interests

- Unlike her characters in the series she's not definitely not a self taught genius

- She went to school but she was bullied a lot and also the school didn't make any effort to accommodate her as an autistic girl and it was a terrible experience for her

- So her dad took her out of school and put her with particular teachers

- But it was still very hard for her to learn even things considered basic like writing or reading

- She only learned those things after she picked up her special interests, specially in chemistry, by forcing herself to learn how to read and do math so she could read and understand books on the subject

- So now she does have college level reading and is good at math but she's really behind at all other subjects

- Currently she's being homeschooled because her dad didn't have money to pay for the private teachers anymore

Miss Maia

Age: ?? (teenager)

Pronouns: she/they/it

- Dunno if anyone is actually going to read the fanfic but just in case i'm not gonna reveal things about her that are spoilers

- Really mysterious

- Saved the subway surfers from the organization

- Has a lot of problems dealing with her feelings especially anger

- Clearly went through a lot

- Wears a mask that she never takes of

- Knows way too much about the organization to not have a connecton with it

Now for the members of the organization (yes, the name of the evil organization in the series is literally The Organization)

Frank

Age: ?? (Adult)

Pronouns: he/him (cis male)

- Cares a lot about keeping his identity a secret in a level that is considered weird even for the organization

- Has been sent to spy the crew but now has a personal thing with Jake (that personal thing being wanting to fucking kill Jake for, accidentally, getting in the way of Frank's plans)

- Has the social skills of a door and doesn't have many friends in the Organization because of that

- Has killed people before

- He's not from this planet/not supposed to be here and is trying to go back home

- He's here because, just as most of the aliens characters, he was captured by the organization

- And just as all the other alien characters that work for the organization he joined them because it was his best shot at survival and going back home

- Has a bunch of scars below his mask

- But rarely takes off because if he stays too long breathing the air from earth directly he will die.

(All the characters from here don't exist in canon)

Tasha (aka T45H4)

Age: One year

Pronouns: she/it (no gender just robot)

- Spying Robot

- made to look like a twenty something caucasian woman.

- Used to mix with the humans and spy on people considered dangerous or relevant to the organization

- artificial personality: optimistic and energetic

Brody (aka 8R0D7)

Age: One year and some months

Pronouns: He/it (no gender just robot)

- looked to look like a twenty something caucasian man

- Artificial personality: relaxed and makes a lot of jokes

- Brody was starting to develop a personality of his own and even some free will so they created Tasha to make sure he was kept under control.

Zoe:

Age: ?? (Young adult)

Pronouns: she/her (cis female)

- She has a lot of zombie like characteristics like the slow walking, being a rotten body and feeding off human brains.

- But has human intelligence and critical skills

- can't communicate with words tho only makes zombie noises tm

- a little bit like Ghoulia from Monster high she's a very smart zombie and rarely goes to the field sticking to more technical stuff

- has a motorcycle

- Nobody knows if she's an alien or an actual zombie

- they don't even know if Zoe is her actual name

Ninja (nobody knows their actual name)

Age: ??

Pronouns: they/them (nonbinary)

- well, as their name indicates they're a ninja

- only works field and unlike Frank doesn't watch, if They're after us my friend you better start running because the Organization decided what to do with you and that thing is eliminate

- Really talkative around their coworkers. Maybe even a little bit too talkative

- They can be kinda annoying but in a endearing way

- Also are really dramatic for some reason

- There are some rumors running around the organization that Ninja was a human experiment raised since birth by the organization

- That would explain why they don’t have a life outside the organization

- And have inhuman strength and speed besides being definitely a human

Prince K

Age: 23

Pronouns: he/him (guy to the left)

- Immature little shit, but the others put up with him because like it or not he’s a very important member

- Mostly works making weapons

- One of the few members that are actually like a very public person outside of the organization

- come from a rich family and are kind of a technology genius

- unfortunately use those skill for sexy I mean evil reasons

- never goes on field and just sticks to research and tech stuff

- His entire family is connected to the organization, although mainly they contribute to it financially and don’t get that involved into their operations unless its relevant for them

- Prince K really one of the few members of his family that actively works for the organization

- Has access to a love of top tie information, including about other members

- Strangely enough even he can’t access Frank’s file.

Tagbots

They are very simple robots build by the organization that are programmed to follow simple commands and serve as warriors, do things for the members, fix stuff, help them with anything they need shit like that

- also have a very simply artificial personality, the helpers (base tagbot from the game) are nice and respectful, the informers (second design from the game) are cold and pragmatic, the warriors (red design from the game) are determined and obedient to the members of the organization

- they definitely don't look nearly as humanoid and Tasha and Brody for example and are very clearly robots

And finally the extra characters

Lucy

Age: 21

Pronouns: she/her (trans female)

- Goth girlfriend tm

- Trans woman

- Left her house when she was 17

- still talks to Tricky every now and then but don't see each other

- Currently living with her boyfriend in a neighbor city

- has a terrible relationship with her parents but is really protective of Tricky

Ella (exists in canon)

Age: 18

Pronouns: she/they (cis female)

- Fresh's older sister

- Loves her family but is kinda distant from them and is doing her own thing

- part of a band

- pansexual

- kinda mean sometimes

- she's very responsible and values things like school and grades a lot besides having a bunch of cool friends and there's pressure on Fresh to be more like her

*Spike*

age: 20

Pronouns: he/it (guy to the left)

- Lucy's boyfriend

- punk

- looks pretty scary but is actually really nice

- has a band

- but it's not famous so currently makes hamburgers for a living

- foster kid that was on the system during his entire life and left when he was 18

- responsible for Lucy's corruption arc from rich perfect boy to goth transfem

And that's what I have so far

[icexprincess]

Ketamine therapy

Apparently you can get Ketamine legally to treat ptsd, anxiety, and depression.

The drug is only 60 yrs old. It's only been used to treat depression/ptsd/anxiety for 20 yrs, so there's no real research on the drug.

Which means they don't know how addictive it can be. its addictive in high doses, but the doctors administer K in low dosages, so they don't know the long term effects of the drug.

Lately I've been thinking about when I should quit Prozac. I've been looking for something more. I would love an Adderall prescription. That's also addictive though.

I realize I also have to make lifestyle changes. I was even going to try a bunch of different sports! I even got a new dog - a pitbull Labrador mix to scare off ugly, worthless NPCs. Then covid happened.

I was soooooo close to getting a gf too.

I've been taking cbd so now I'm feeling chatty. Maybe I should try K?

I dont wanna be toooo neurotypical though. I fucking hate NTs 😤 😒 😑 🙃 😐 🙄 😤

I'm still pissed at my teacher for a rude comment she made to me 15 or 16 yrs ago. I was going to fuck her hot boyfriend to get back at her, but do I really want to fuck someone who would fuck her?

I thought she was soooo fucking gross looking. I always got the impression that she was easy and into degrading sexual acts. She legit seemed kinda retarded to me. Shes gross. She's nasty.

If I made out with her I would regret it and hate myself. She's one of those people you deny sleeping with because you're ashamed of yourself for sleeping with her. The thought of people knowing you guys hooked up is humiliating. Like you deny knowing her because you don't want people thinking you lack self respect.

She's trash.

One of the benefits to being a Narcissist is that NPCs are not allowed anywhere near me. Most people are NPCs. It's beneficial during a pandemic. I was quarantining before Covid.

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

@elderberriesandarsenic

Today I had what I would like to term as a "controlled meltdown", in front of my principal who is like talking to a rather beautiful and statuesque brick wall. It is often cathartic to talk to her and I do so like this maybe once every two years because I know no matter what I say she doesn't give a s*** so I can say pretty much what I want.

Just like when my department head absolutely terrorized me for about 2 years coming into my room and screaming at me and making me cry in front of my kids and when I asked her to help me out she did absolutely nothing. So yes she does have the open door management style to where you can come and see her and talk to her anytime of day ...just don't expect her to actually do anything about what you say.

Anyway God bless the 4th grade teacher because the principal tried to kick her out when I started my rant and she said nope I'm not leaving I'm staying and she stayed with me and got so mad at how the principal was acting she started crying herself! God bless her.

What I ended up saying after I had talked about her not doing anything about the department head to begin with and IF how she had done something about department head, I could have stayed in the reading department and got the raise with everybody else. I finally said "All in all it's not about the money --" and the fourth grade teacher chimed in & said "Well it is for me!!🤣🤣"

I said "I worked so hard this year I have run the fifth grade social studies department by myself. I could have gotten mad because you brought in an inexperienced incompetent teacher and insisted on making her the department head over me even though I had six years experience and it turned around to bite you in the butt when she freaked out and left but I didn't. I kept my head down and did my job and didn't complain. But after that talk with the superintendent, I'm wondering why I am even trying to get certified in another area because whether I do or not, no one is going to care. All I really want is to hear good job once in a while or a thank you or I'm proud of you, you did well taking on this job by yourself and doing it."

Would you like to hear what she said to me?

"It's not my management style to give individual, personal thank you's"

Again, I was floored.

The amount of anxiety when talking to other adults that I operate under constantly is such that I only do things like this maybe once every couple of years and even then, you have to get me really f****** mad.

My first year & a half at the school I did not speak to anyone unless I was being spoken to but slowly I began to come out of my shell. That was a huge mistake: becoming comfortable with people and letting down my guard, thinking that maybe I could actually be myself.

I am utterly convinced that if I were neurotypical the superintendent and the principal would have never spoken to me the way they did.

So I've decided these people are not worth my voice,, they are not worth any effort on my part.

Everyday for 5 years I have shown up at 7 in the morning when we didn't have to be in until 7:45 and most teachers showed up later than that. I stayed late and worked every weekend.

I am still going out of my way for the kids cuz I love the kids and because the kids are the only ones that get me and they are the reason I continue to come to work.

But f*** the adults. They are no longer worthy of even the tiniest amount of my respect, hard work, and time