#Mushroom chocolate price

[william-scott77]

Wavy bar chocolate mushroom

Wavy bar chocolate mushroom Now available at Mungus Shrooms one of the highest quality Psilocybin chocolate bar on the market right now. The Chocolate used in these bars is USDA certified, organic, and 100% vegan. They got the chocolate certified separately before adding the mushrooms. The chocolate mushroom bars contain synthetic psilocybin

[bluegoba27]

The Polka Dot Brand Psilocybin Magic Mushroom Belgian Chocolate Bars are highly potent and boasts four grams of magic mushrooms. 20-30 minutes after ingestion you will notice a distortion of space and time, bright, beautiful colors, visual distortions, mystical experiences, euphoria and happiness. The amazing taste of the many flavors of Belgian Chocolate are suitable for anybody’s choice to your liking. There are many health benefits of Psilocybin or Magic Mushrooms. First of all, it could be used to treat depression, PTSD and battling addiction to substances such as cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. A crave-worthy chocolate to help you conquer your day–or make it an adventure depending on how you choose to dose–Polka dot Mushroom Belgian Chocolate Coverture is not only delicious, but also the equivalent to 4g of 🍄 Psilocybin & Psilocin from Psychedelic Mushrooms 🍄.

The flavors of Polka Dot Brand Psilocybin Magic Mushroom Belgian Chocolate Bars available are: https://chemheadshop.com/product/polkadot-shroom-chocolate-bars-4g/

Crunch Dark Chocolate Match Green Tea Milk Chocolate Mint Berries and Cream Cookies and Cream Micro dosing psychedelics is the practice of consuming very low, sub-hallucinogenic doses of a psychedelic substance, such as lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) or psilocybin-containing mushrooms. According to media reports, micro dosing has grown in popularity, yet the scientific literature contains minimal research on this practice.

[syoddeye]

the dinner

ceo!price x reader / ~4.4k words

Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 Very special thank you to @sleepyeugene @greatstormcat and @mortuarywriting for beta-ing ♥️ Tagging: @sweetspicynoodles

CW: alcohol, oral sex

Straw. Actual straw. Collected, cut, snipped, and arranged by careful hands to ring a porcelain plate to resemble a bird's nest. A piece pokes the chicken egg in the center, and a thin drizzle of black truffle sluices from the puncture and soaks into the dry, flat bed of mushrooms.

You would do unspeakable things for a lamb samosa. 

The drinks are delicious, though the service, along with everything else, proves an adjustment. Two sips into a kir, savoring, the waiter clears the glasses, moving you into the second dish without a word. Each course you pick through transitions the same: with a person clad in a fancy little vest ferrying away three-quarter full glasses and disassembled plates you ruined in search of flavor.

Baffling. Pompous. Wasteful. 

Your work anniversary dinner. Your date with John Price.

Across the table, he dines in his own world. He methodically pierces the egg on his nest-plate-thing, peppery black truffle oozing more neatly than your own onto the mushrooms. He prepares a bite, and you trail it to his mouth. His eyes close briefly, and your lip twitches.

Holding back a sigh, you mirror him as you have the whole dinner, a plebeian to his patrician.

The conversation lulled when a former business associate of John's, wife in tow, briefly stopped at the table. You don't remember either of their names, only that their intrusion was the killing blow. Although introduced, the conversation remained limited to the three. By the time they departed for their table, the plates had changed.

John did not help the silence, seemingly content with it. While generous in material ways, the Moynat proof of that, he was stingy when it came to speaking about himself. He masterfully keeps the focus on you, with a special interest in your time at The 141 Group.

But as you reluctantly dominated the earlier conversation, you were not keen to restart it. You let the quiet continue to hold you hostage.

The server takes the remains of the cheese course, the most palatable and normal by far, and he finally speaks.

"Not a fan of French food?"

Your eyes flick up from the napkin in your lap. Unfazed, the server arranges another clean set of flatware. John's elbows rest on the table, poor etiquette for a man of his station, leaning forward until his breath makes the candle flame flicker. He doesn't move to make the server's job easier, forcing them to work around him.

You glance to the waiter, mildly comforted they seem unperturbed, then return to John's question. "I don't mind it." 

"You hardly ate."

"I don't think my palate is refined enough for this," You carefully explain. This is a free dinner. This is the head of your company. You're neither impolite nor stupid to accidentally insult the man's taste.

"I doubt your tongue's the problem," He smirks, then lowers an arm to the table and extends a hand, palm up, expectant. Grins when you take it, thumb dragging over the skin. "I'll let you pick dessert."

The profiterole is an olive branch. A delicious one, vanilla cream and chocolate exploding over your taste buds, erasing the earthiness and grit of the earlier courses. Fingers pinching the dessert's accompanying demitasse, you find John studying you. His choux untouched.

"Not a fan of sweets?" You ask, echoing him.

"Not particularly," He pushes the saucer around the candlestick. 

You take the pastry. With so much food wasted already, it'd be a shame to let the taste of paradise slip past.

The server never returns to the table. The meal ends when John informs you the car is waiting out front, and he herds you to the coat check with his hand on the small of your back. He helps you into your wool coat, murmuring, "Pity it's cold out."

You know what he means. It took hours and a FaceTime call with Jordan to pick a dress. Your friend wasn't so much of a consultant as she was a soundboard, reassuring you looked good over and over again. 

"He said he liked the green," you explained.

"Told you, big sexy pine tree," Jordan teased, voice crackling through the phone speaker.

You wore the dark emerald dress to a wedding years ago with good results. It's formal enough the maître d' didn't stop you at the door, yet simple enough in its construction that you don't feel like a peacock or a tryhard. The silky material clung comfortably to your frame but wasn't too snug and fell to your mid-calf. The slit that cut a generous distance to your thigh invited John's eyes when you slid into the car upon pick-up, followed by his hand. The dress dipped beneath your scapulae in the back, the scoop neckline traveled straight across your cleavage, and the thin straps exposed your shoulders. You feel sexy, and you know you look it, too.

The coat's lining is cool on your skin, contrasting with the heat of John's breath on the back of your neck. Your things back in your possession, he steers you to the exit.

John pulls Alex aside when you duck into the car, and the bodyguard glances over his employer's shoulder. His attention returns within the second, but a smile forms under his neatly trimmed mustache.

With that furtive look, it occurs to you you don't know what's next on the agenda. Given the lack of edible food and stilted conversation, you'd prefer to head home and tuck into the samosas you've dreamt of all evening. Bid adieu to this alternate universe where you kind of date CEOs and own expensive purses. Yet, from your limited experience with John, leaving the man's company is easier said than done.

It's as if he reads your mind.

"Night's young. Thought we might have a drink, if I haven't completely mucked this up."

You frown. "You haven't," It's unfair he gets to self-deprecate, and your immediate inclination is to comfort and dissuade him. Knowing the man could buy your building with pocket change grates against the simmering frustration in your chest. You want to go home and ditch the date, as you have others, but instead, you are agreeable. "I could use a drink."

If he registers a hint of your inner turmoil, he does not show it. The corner of his mouth lifts in a half-smile. "Good. Somewhere we need to stop first."

He looks out the window and settles a hand above your knee again. You should break the habit, even if his palm is warm and the gesture scratches an itch you don't want to acknowledge.

You observe him in the periphery. Since this situation began in the copier room, you look up John Price online every few days. He's constantly in the news, whether by mention or for a quote. Each story uses one of three photos, all from the same batch of headshots. Interestingly, he seems to avoid video interviews, though there are three or four soundbites where he's been invited to chime in by a network.

His Wikipedia page contains more information on The 141 Group than his personal life. The section itself is a measly three sentences covering his birthplace, heritage, and when he founded the company. And although you knew it was a long shot, you searched high and low across every social media platform you could think of, reactivated your Facebook, and everything. Nothing. His control over his public image seems as ironclad as his control over the company. You count yourself lucky his command extends only to work. If you wanted to exit the car at the next traffic light, you're sure he'd let you out and wish you a good night.

An idle flex of his fingers on your leg, as if he really is a mind reader, extinguishes the thought. 

Neon light punctures the tinted windows of the car. Your head swivels, and you scrunch your nose in recognition. John's brought you to a popular row of nightclubs, and fuzzy memories surge to the forefront of your mind. The taste of cheap tequila on your tongue and playing drunken therapy in crowded bathrooms. It's beyond you why John needs to stop here, but you're not opening that can of worms.

John reaches for the door handle, and your arm shoots out without thinking, curling over his forearm. 

"John, wait."

He stops immediately. "Something wrong?"

"Can I stay in the car?" You ask, eyes moving past his furrowed brow to the few clubgoers outside. "I'd prefer to stay here."

John's face slackens, and then he turns away, his shoulders heaving with a short laugh. He shakes his head and pats your thigh. "Alright, but I'll need your order."

Confusion finds its home on your face this time until John gestures with a thumb over his shoulder out the car's rear window. A bright red food truck sits behind the private car, warm light spilling onto the sidewalk. You watch a woman claim a paper tray cradling a doner kebab. The sight sinks claws into your belly.

The want must be plain on your face as John chuckles and cracks the car door open.

"C'mon. Two tiny pastries is a poor meal. I cannot, in good conscience, take you for a drink on an empty stomach."

When you order, and he reaches for his billfold, you quickly tap your phone to the register. Thanking the truck owner, you delight in the cross expression on John's face.

"You covered dinner, I assume, unless you've made an accomplice of me," You joke as you step to the side of the line with the man, your souring mood remedied with the promise of Turkish food.

John's eyes pinch as if trying to sort you out, and then his face drops into a feigned solemnity. "'Fraid so. We'll never be able to return."

"I'm gutted."

"I can tell."

The two of you stand out of the way of the groups loitering outside of the clubs. Alex hovers nearby. 

You watch the short lines with a mixture of admiration and worry. It wasn't too long ago you were one of the giggling young women forgoing proper attire to stand in lines to dance and drink. Arms linked with friends, buzzing from the pre-drink, and making eyes at whoever caught your fancy. It's surreal to be back here with John, of all people. He'd look like an ordinary man if he wasn't in a bespoke suit.

A booming voice calls your number, and you retrieve the food. His serving is massive, tricky to transfer.

"I'm starvin'," He mutters, tucking in like a dog gets after a bone.

You, no better, are two big bites into your kebab. You swallow, shielding your mouth with a palm. "I thought you liked dinner. Our first dinner."

John considers you a moment, cheek bulging slightly with a bite. Before he takes another, he smiles sheepishly. "I hate that restaurant."

The admission poleaxes, and you nearly drop the kebab back into its flimsy tray. "But…I saw you absolutely relish that egg dish. With the truffle?"

"I was keeping the sea urchin down."

"That's what that was?" Your stomach twists, suddenly persnickety, recalling the slimy, coral-pink dish preceding the egg and mushrooms. It tasted salty, but you assumed it was another type of shellfish. Mildly scandalized, a bite finds its way to your mouth, but you pause, shy of the target. "If you hate the place, why did you take me there?"

"Thought you might like it."

You snort, wiping the corner of your lips with a disposable napkin. "Well, I didn't," Despite the lightheartedness, a sliver of asperity threads through your tone, and you swipe your tongue over your teeth. "You didn't ask what I like to eat, or where I might want to go for my anniversary date."

"So this is a date."

You glare, thinking how fast Alex might react to you taking a plastic fork to your employer, shelve the twinge in your chest and settle for pointing the prongs accusingly. "You have some nerve, Mr. Price. Taking a young woman, an employee, to dinner without consulting them."

The glint in his eye sharpens in the kaleidoscopic light. "You didn't complain earlier. You didn't ask."

You rapidly lose patience. "Should I ask next time?"

His mouth curls beneath his beard. "Next time?"

That’s it. You pitch the scraps of your food, dab your mouth again, and head for the car. With a huff, you bypass a hesitating Alex and wrench the car door open, your face flaming with embarrassment and irritation. Head of the company or not, he's an ass, deliberately riling you up. When you turn around, mapping the route home in your head, John's broad form cages you between the open door and the car. A quick glance at the American, and Alex turns away, forcing you to focus on the man before you.

"John." You state simply, hoping his name's magic enough a word to compel him to step aside.

"Didn't mean any harm, doll," He rasps lowly, a hair above a whisper. "Thought the place would impress you. I should've asked, I know, but I've made up for it, haven't I?" This close, his eyes appear darker, overcast with how he's backlit.

Lump in your throat, you exhale through your nose and lick your lip, tasting paprika. "I don't appreciate being teased."

John hums. "No?" His eyes switch between yours before giving a nod of understanding. "Noted. Then I'll be direct. I'd like to take you back to mine for a drink, so we can have some privacy," His hand lifts, palm cupping your face, thumb sweeping a cheek. "Get to know each other. Talk."

Talk. Uh-huh.

It's another precipice that every bit of reason in your bones tells you to step back from. Abort, abandon ship – this man is your boss's boss. No, higher than that. A man whose net worth is a question mark in every record you find. A fragmented exasperation comes out in a sigh, more surrender than defeat. As you mused earlier, leaving the man's company is easier said than done.

~~

It's terribly stereotypical – the sleek high rise, the terse doorman, the private lift, all down to the echo of your heels clicking on dark parquet floors leading to his door, the penthouse, naturally. 

However, John's home is warmer than you thought it would be for the owner of a company. A mixture of contemporary artwork hangs throughout the foyer, living, and dining area. Designer fixtures and hardware, clean lines melding with traditional pieces, and a color palette trending darker yet somehow rustic. Despite the company's technological bent, you have yet to spot a single smart home device. Whoever he paid to design and furnish his place, you figure they made out like a bandit.

Eyes cast out of floor-to-ceiling windows, you hold a glass of a Grand Cru, a Bordeaux whose name you immediately forget when you clap eyes on the year. The taste of dark cherry and smoke feels like silk and velvet on your tongue, and you savor it. The view's not too bad, either.

"Like it?"

"It'll do."

It's maddening. Going from barely looking the man in the eye in the line for a themed cocktail at a company party to standing in his home, drinking his expensive wine after he's paid for dinner and the purse currently on his dining table. As you take in the skyline, you hold on to that thought. The umpteenth time, you ask yourself, what the shit are you doing here? This is bad. There is no rationalization. The facts are laid bare in your mind: You are younger than him, not indecently so, but enough that your parents and friends would raise a brow. You are his employee and well on the way to breaking half a dozen more rules. You are an average person with bills and debt and stand to benefit from his generosity. You see it coming, the belated realization that hits like a pile of bricks.

The words slip out. Part declaration, part self-reassurance, wholly unformed. "I'm not going to be your…sugar baby, or whatever." You take a swig, fighting a wave of embarrassment.

In the window's reflection, John rocks on his heels. "I didn't think you were. I don't want you to be."

You turn, meeting his gaze when he mirrors you, squinting at the amusement written clearly on his face. "Then why the drinks? The dinner? The purse?"

"You deserve to be rewarded."

"No, no," You insist, shaking your head and lifting a finger. "You don't do this for other employees."

"Who says I haven't?"

"Have you?"

"'Course not."

You snort into the glass and drink deep. "You're impossible. How do you run a company with that attitude?"

John grins wryly in his own glass and ignores the jab. "Mm. Is this you askin' what we're doing here?"

Usually, eye contact is easy. Now, it's a challenge. "I suppose so, yes."

"We're two people enjoying each other's company," John's eyes drag down you shamelessly, ending back on your face with a polite smile as if he didn't blatantly ogle you. "One of whom happens to be in a position to give presents, and possesses the inclination."

It's an intentionally obtuse answer. "You know what that sounds like."

"It bothers you that much? To leave things as they are?"

"'As they are'," You repeat, then venture, "Casual, then?"

John faces you completely, looming. "I prefer to call it friendly."

Your chin lifts. "And you know what human resources would call it?"

"I might have some sway there."

"You'd abuse your power for me?" You scoff.

"I'd do worse, if you asked, sweetheart."

There’s a pause, an opening, and to your surprising delight, John takes it. He leans down for a kiss.

It's a mix of restraint and fervor. John's hand cradles your jaw, deepening the kiss when he realizes you're not running for the exit. His mouth's clearly the dominant player when yours opens without prompting. Any trace of stiffness in your posture melts, and it's a good thing you're holding a half-full glass of wine because you don't know what else it would reach for or where else it would head.

"Get to know each other. Talk," John said. If this is how he wants to get to know you, you accept it, and let him take you to his bedroom.

~~

"This'll wrinkle," John rucks the sheath of your dress up to your waist, fingers appreciatively trailing down your hips until they curve beneath your knees. His eyes follow a similar path, albeit starting from your face.

"I'll bill you for the dry cleaning." You murmur, biting your lip, watching him take in the view. It's intoxicating, the shift in his breathing, the narrowing of his eyes when it reaches the pale gold silk of your thong. It's as sheer as gossamer and carefully stitched with a pretty floral design, the gusset the only solid strip of fabric apart from the band.

The look on his face makes the bit of debt it put you in worth it. 

Your smug grin collapses under the crawl of a knuckle down your covered seam, featherlight. 

He hums, hands sliding beneath the band. His eyes flick to yours, the blue cloudy with want. His turn to smirk. "This too?"

"John," You warn half-heartedly, knowing what he's actually asking, lift your hips a little, and plant your hands on the bed.

Slowly, John pulls the garment down your legs. A sharp, audible inhale escapes him when his eyes snap to the apex of your thighs, and he tosses the piece of lingerie aside.

John sinks to his knees at the edge of his bed, unhurried, clearly content to observe your sex like it's one of the expensive pieces of art in his living room. His hands return, gliding up your legs to draw circles into the patches of skin on either side of your pussy, smirking again when he hears you gasp. He remains fixated. "Look at you," he purrs, a thumb brushing through the wetness, spreading it deliberately over your clit.

His thumb continues its lazy swipes while his mouth starts kissing a trail up your thighs. You tremble head to toe, anticipation painting everything in a lush haze.

"Fuck," The curse slips out in an aborted hiss you bite back. It's annoying how easily John works you up, his nettling at the food truck to this – he's barely touched you, and speech is suddenly a weakness. Has it been so long since you last saw some action? The brief, scalding memory of your last romp in the sheets plays in your mind. Freshly broken up with, it was a half-baked rebound with a man from a bar you went to alone, stupidly, and took in like a stray dog. Rutted like one, anyway. Come morning, he'd gone, having apparently found the cash in your wallet but not your clit.

A nip brings you back to the present.

"Still with me?" 

How many times could you make a rich man doubt himself in one night? Quite the undiscovered talent to discover. "Sorry, yes," You breathe, words working their way out through a shudder, "It's been awhile."

His stroking slows, eyes narrowing at your admission, mouth tracking to its north star. 

For a moment, it seems like he might stop or, worse, ask about it. You reach a hand toward him and stop short. "Can you, just–please?"

Without another word, John parts your thighs further apart, fingers digging gently into the sensitive skin. He dips his head lower, warm breath fanning over your pussy. His broad tongue flattens and drags one long lick from your hole to your clit, circling the sensitive bud. He groans, lapping up the first droplets of arousal, huffing your scent with his nose pressing to your curls. One of his hands makes for your ass, holding you in place when you inevitably jerk from the sensation.

His tongue is a wicked thing. Fitting, given his predilection for banter.

You involuntarily cant your hips up to his mouth, his beard scraping. "John!"

His smirk stretches across his lips, and he chuckles. For a second, he pauses. It's deliciously agonizing, the sight of him licking his lip before he returns back between your legs. The delay is long enough to make the next touch of his tongue a pleasant shock.

But he stops again. "Yeah? You want more?" The question is punctuated by a swipe.

You clench at the sheer arrogance in his voice. Maybe you did like being–

"What was that earlier?" His teeth gently, gently rake over your clit. "Something about you not appreciating being teased?" His laugh is downright mean when you practically squeal.

Your face burns, leaning back on an elbow, unable to remain seated with how you shake. "John, please."

Every word laces together with amusement. "Impatient, aren't you? Just want to make this last, sweetheart."

He delves back in, and in the process, he hauls one of your legs over his shoulder. You drop the other arm back to hold yourself up. His hand on your thigh leaves its post to join his efforts, and his middle fingers slide in without preamble - no need, judging by the obscene squelch.

Your head is the next to fall back at an angle, eyes squeezing shut at the slight stretch, hips bucking when he thrusts them shallowly. Gradually pushing deeper, stroking you from the inside out. His tongue makes a slow pass over your seam, licking over where his fingers disappear, and his mouth seals over your clit.

Again, language fails. The incoherent, shattered pleas and curses erupt out of you seem to spur John on. He groans when your cunt tightens its grip on his fingers, the heat in your belly skyrocketing to the peak at a dizzying speed. You know the orgasm will hit hard if it really has been over a year since someone assisted you in reaching one.

"John, please, John," you hurtle towards oblivion, leaving human resources in the dust. You fist his bedding, knuckles flexing, and force yourself to look at him.

John's eyes are open, pupils blown, zeroed in on your face with an intensity that makes you clench once more. He grunts something in response, vaguely encouraging with his big palm on your ass, squeezing and keeping you in place.

When it crests, your back meets the mattress with a cry. John rises slightly to follow your body's momentum, tongue still working fervently, though his fingers stop. He pulls out the digits to grab the ankle of your leg over his shoulder, your own wetness painting over the joint like a brushstroke. He gently removes the limb from its perch, and his mouth slows.

The first hints of overstimulation make you whimper and clumsily reach for the crown of his head, fingers threading through short hair to pull him off.

John detaches himself from your pussy, but not without a few parting kisses. 

While you try to gather the pieces of your consciousness flung about, John retracts and stands, rubbing one of your calves. You nearly short-circuit when you meet eyes at last. He's sucking his fingers with the same care he showed at dinner. The first one. He grins.

"My dessert."

You consider chucking his own pillow at his face. The crime of a rich man using a cheap line. It's annoying you still want his cock. You reach for him, fingers hooking around his belt to pull him forward and down, a knee landing between your legs. He ducks his head to meet you halfway for a kiss, your tongue licking over the seam of his mouth, tasting yourself. You kiss and kiss and kiss until your lungs hurt. Now that he's broken your dry spell, it's open season. 

Only, he puts a stop to it, pulling back when you unfasten his belt buckle. He cups your face. "I'd rather focus on you right now, sweetheart."

Your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline. "That's not–You don't have to…"

"Hm, I want to see how many times I can make you come tonight." His other hand toys with the thin strap of your dress. "Should get this off you, before I ruin it."

The dress is a lost cause, as with any intention you had of sneaking out in the middle of the night. The dress joins your underwear, and you spend the rest of the evening learning just how generous John Price can be.

[harveywritings92]

{Soap makes a smoothie but is wary of of how it looked, so he looks around the common room for someone to test it for him, and sees Ghost.]

Soap: Hey, LT! wanna have a taste of this Chocolate smoothie? I got the powder mix from a café in town.

Ghost, looks a the smoothie, he grimaces it looked like vomit: No.

Soap: *Makes chicken noises*

Ghost: Quit it!

(Soap keeps clucking)

Ghost, fed up: Fine! I’ll drink it!

[Ghost winces as he pulls his mask up a bit and brings the smoothie to his mouth and downs it.]

Soap: Well? Is it good?

Ghost, holding his stomach: It taste like...burning.

Soap: Oh shite, did I buy a laxative one?

[Ghost starts sweating looks at the common room’s couch, he sees Vent the cat napping there, Simon starts hallucinating the cat’s fur to peeling off it’s body; turning it into some kind of hell beast! Ghost’s eye twitches as he gets up and runs out of the base. Two hours later R/n arrives with Ghost who is almost completely nude, save for his mask and a blanket tied around his waist.]

R/n, to Price, she’s exhausted from chasing Ghost around: I found him swimming naked in my neighbors duck pond.

Ghost, throws his arms in the air: I AM THE LIZARD KING!~

{Later the 1-4-1 learned the café, Soap got the Smoothie mix from was known for adding "magic mushrooms.” to their Smoothies, but only if the customer’s knew their password for it, Soap must’ve said the password not realizing it was a password and got the “magic” mix, instead of whatever he was originally ordering,]

{What happened later.]    [part 2]

[cebwrites]

May I ask for some jealous headcannons for law, croc and zoro with bimbo s/o (hopefully I said that right :) how ppl find them really pretty and give them free things all the time (flowers,books,food) when their shopping together (*´∀｀) 

a/n: haiii, this concept really interested me - it is however stated in my rules that i don't typically write fem reader as mentioned though, i did like the idea so i wrote it through a masc pov instead (。・・)ノ

with a partner who receives a lot of gifts (Law, Crocodile, Zoro)

masc reader, he/they law word count: 1k

Law

Oh such a pity he'd fallen for a man so pretty

They aren't particularly fond of it but if this is the price to pay for having you by his side, so be it, but more importantly - mansplain, manipulate, malewife those pockets dry, darlin'

It was cute at first, to see them subtly pout and bristle whenever someone approached you with flowers, offers for drinks, or hawkers giving you an excess of free samples whenever the two of you passed by their stalls; it made you feel special, desired

However, the moment a lightbulb went off underneath your captain's scheming little mushroom hat, the fun slowly but surely started to dwindle; you knew something was up immediately when Law flashed you that crooked smirk, an expression you were more than familiar with, eyes shaded by the brim of their hat

It goes without saying that Law loves and does want to treat their boyfriend whenever possible, but he's also a bit of a cheapskate and if other people want to fill the role of spoiling you while he gets to sit back on full pockets well then that's just a win-win, even going so far as to encourage you to accept these gifts, too

Of course, when you give them a look and pinch their cheek after a the third or forth occasion, Law lets out a long-suffering sigh and hooks an arm around your waist - staking his claim, if you will - glaring off would-be Casanovas vying for your attention and paying for his boyfriend's meal with his own damn wallet (your turn to pick up the tab next time though, as per usual)

You will, however, still snag free food when possible for the both of you; if luck was on his side, Law would get to share spoonful's of ice cream with you between intimate glances and kisses in your personal bubble - all while he smugly watched those Romeos and their roses wilt as Law claimed you all for his own

Crocodile

Grown, malding ass man

You don't hear much of Crocodile's annoyance outwardly but it's clear in the way he gives you the cold shoulder and attempts to wins your affections back later with presents - gifts to your liking

Pretty much the only thing he can guarantee to provide you with his immense government-backed warlord wealth; but now some schmuck on the street thinks they can do him one better with their petty flowers and chocolates? Preposterous

Crocodile would give you entire libraries, spiral staircase to a comfy lair underground and all, if you just asked - he'd make you work tirelessly for this favor and hold it over your head at most opportunities, sure, but point is you'd still be getting it

The foolish shows of their affections through material goods was one thing, but what made Crocodile's blood singe with anger the most was those sweet-talkers; insipid little assholes trying to steal your love attention away from him with bullshit poems, flirty lines from a cheesy pick-up book that somehow has the gall to make you laugh at times from their charmingly awkward delivery

Pre-Strawhats and his dethroning, Crocodile had more than enough manpower and influence to simply make these people go away, vanished into the night, never to be seen again - you had half a mind of what was going on, noticing a handful of locals disappearing from your usual hangouts, but Mr. 0 was somewhat of a mansplain manipulator sweet-talker himself and surrounded by the luxury that you were, paid little mind to the semantics of these things

Post-timeskip, however, after both of you have had time to acclimate to the rough life on the sea again and shake off the lethargy from living in such comfort things are a little different

Crocodile has, surprisingly, mellowed out a little; ie he simply doesn't have time to be that ass mad about someone attempting to shoot their shot with a gorgeous man with the pursuit of infamy and power once again in his main sights - but the open knowledge that you are his man being out there yet these fools still try to push their luck does roil his stomach at times

Old habits and whatnot, no hard feelings 💕

Zoro

Honestly? He didn't pay much mind to it, not that it'd bother Zoro much if he did, though

People think his partner's hot? Fuck yeah, that just means Zoro scored with a smoke show before anyone else could and he's extremely proud of that fact

Zoro can ignore the stragglers trying to woo you with sweet words and free food is an added bonus because he knows he's free to steal bites off your plate, even though Sanji yells at you two about spoiling your meals

He knows you're fully capable of turning down some wise-guy ballsy enough to think they'd be good enough to be your potential suitor so until it's indicated otherwise, he's perfectly comfortable taking a load off on one of the benches while you leave your shopping bags with him to guard

What does make Mr. Demon of the East Blue a little antsy, though, is how physical some of these folks can get - yes, you're an adult man and a pirate at that, but the way certain people sidle up to you made the hairs on his neck stand on end and, had Zoro been more 'beastly' like his rumors implied, bare his fangs

A woman makes herself a little too comfortable on your arm, a man puts his around your shoulder in that cheesy yawning motion everyone's seen a hundred times, Zoro's immediately to his feet and grouchily saying that you have to leave with him now

It's adorable to see him getting so worked up, the ardent scowl on his face not just your marimo's resting expression and instead an active show of his irritation - you laugh it off later, easing Zoro's embarrassed flush with gentle coos while he reassures himself by running callous hands down the strong muscles of your back

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

Tl;dr: I have restocked my Etsy shop! If I sell out again, I won't be able to restock until Tuesday.

Life of me:

Spend months bringing embroidery patterns to sell at historical re-enactment events. Get a lot of admirers but average 3 sales per month. Ponder if this is because the chronic pain-and-fatigue multipliers of being at the event, dressed, with a table set up with stuff, and sitting in a chair for several hours, leaves you with the engaging salesmanship of a Galapagos tortoise.

Buy a roll of interfacing 8" wide and 9 yards (27 feet, 324 inches!!) long to print patterns on. Expect to run out at the end of the next Ice Age. Print 13" long strips because that's the longest size the printer will countenance.

Open Etsy shop. Wait several days. Get 9 visitors.

Post on Tumblr

Receive RAVENING HORDE of buyers on Etsy, like homg. When nobody else got me, I know TUMBLR got me. Sell out entire inventory in like 6 hours flat.

Realize that the item price with the coupon code discount is $2 less than the cost of shipping. Realize why so many people cautioned me against guaranteed free shipping. Make shipping the customer's issue.

Change prices, bc they were originally based around the marketing idea of "please oh god someone buy something I'm fucking desperate"

Package up first 5 Etsy orders around midnight; put hoodie on and walk to nearest postbox.

Occupy yourself with embroidering a little mushroom while winding down for sleep (necessary due to vibration of HOLY SHIT I SOLD THINGS)

Feel like a medieval peasant to whom a miracle has occurred

In the morning, decide to dump the seller manual and planned schedule of product release. Wander the apartment 5x looking for stray lengths of embroidery pattern that have gotten put somewhere weird. Print out patterns until only ONE PIECE of interfacing is left.

Order more interfacing, but the soonest it will arrive is Tuesday. Take inventory and calculate how many items are claimed vs up for sale.

Photograph every single blackwork handstitch pattern in the apartment. They are not very good photographs, but at least they exist.

Sleep for 6 hours in the middle of the day because apparently photography is exhausting and fibromyalgia is an ass

Realise right hand is inflamed and hurts to move because of embroidering a littol mushroom. Why are bodies.

List every single pattern on Etsy even if there's only 1 piece of it for sale. Ache from head to toe because apparently standing up to deal with the printer etc counts as like, intense physical labour?

Email 3 local print shops for quotes because this is. A LOT.

Tomorrow:

Have helper come over and package up orders to go out.

Print very last page of interfacing. Probably with more of the Cottagecore pattern, which just sold out, because it is STINKING CUTE.

Monday:

Spend whole day playing Stardew Valley and eating chocolate pudding and NOT THINKING about the provincial election. (Voted last week, the day advanced polls opened)

Now:

Walk from living room to bed. Why?? How?? Why are we put on this earth?? Just to suffer???

[trashiewrites]

✨MW BOYS IN RELATIONSHIPS✨

What would the MW Boys be like in relationships? Here are some HCs (wrote these like last year tbh :/)

Price-

+this one has trouble showing his love at times

+work is honestly the worst obstacle

+very lightly brags about you to the boys.

+loves getting home and seeing you in the kitchen cooking.

+mainly because he can hug you from behind

+ he also enjoys going to bed and cuddling you.

+you would think hes light sleeper, you guessed wrong.

+neck kisses for days

Soap-

+you two leave little notes for eachother.

+usually before he goes to work you pack him a note in his lunch

+ if you feel gracious enough you'll put chocolate in there too.

+this man doesnt need drug he needs chocolate.

+yall playfully argue over stupid shit. Like how snickers is better then kit kats

+He like big spoon alot.

+motivational couple of the year

Ghost-

+honestly when it comes down to relationships it scared him

+you two bond over music for sure

+there are legit times where you too do not speak. Silence is just okay with y'all.

+he likes to quietly sing you little love songs

+he isn't fond of PDA but if any guy start getting too cozy, he will fucking dip and kiss you

+he trusts ya around the 141 boys.

Roach-

+SHY LITTLE B A B Y

+I refuse to think he doesn't randomly hug you throughout the day

+CUTE PET NAMES FOR B O T H OF YOU

+Such a gentleman deadass.

+will get the boys to help intimidate other guys

+you wonder how someone so sweet and soft became a SAS soilder.

+you also wonder how you got so lucky with this sweet baby.

Alex-

+yall never wake up before noon

+B a d p u n s f o r d a y s

+Alex is a mean cook

+cannot clean for shit tho.

+making you laugh and smile is his ultimate goal in life

+you hate it but he calls you "pumpkin" or "crack master" either one.

+In spite of this you call him "mushroom" or "methhead" again, either one.

Gaz-

+puppy, HE IS A PUPPY

+he loves talking to you on his free time at work

+ “no you hang up first” for 5 mins straight

+tbh you two are very competitive with eachother

+video game couple

+tbh whatever COD equivalent games their is in there you two prob play together

+protective but not confrontational. He knows you can stand your ground and that you are loyal but he cant help but when you two cuddle after to hold you a little bit tighter than usual.

This was written a while ago and I'll be making stuff for Alejandro and Graves separately

[hetalia-club]

Hetalia Stardew Mod Summary Hot Link

Characters (Will be updated as it's posted) America Canada

Mod Details (Note all of this only exist inside my head unfortunately)- All Characters are Romanceable. They have no rival love interest and they will not lose their personality or hobbies after marriage so you don’t feel like you ruined their lives or stole them away from anyone. They will for the most part carry on as usual just with a bit more favor towards you New Events: Firework Festival- Takes place on Summer 4. This event is only attended by The Hetalia characters living in Cindersnap Forest. You Enter Cindersnap Forest at 10PM-12PM on Summer 4 to Trigger the Event. Brew Fest- A mock Octoberfest held at the Café where they all drink coffee instead of beer Enter Cindersnap Forest on Fall 6 at 9AM-3PM to trigger the event. Must be downloaded alongside the: More Crops Mod and Even More Crops Mod to get required ingredients for recipes & Stardew expanded for the space upgrade. The town of Cindersnap can function as your main source of shopping & Conversation Much like how Ridgeside Village & Stardew Valley operate. The characters do converse with the Main Stardew folk but for the most part do their own things. New Buildings: Houses with secret rooms, locked doors and Easter eggs. Maybe you click on a globe in someone’s house and it says “It’s a circle, that’s the earth”.

Cindersnap Coffee House: This is a Café/Bakery that is directly contributed to by each member of the Cindersnap Forest dwellers. Their Role with the bakery will be listed within their bio if they have one. Here you can buy coffees, Latte’s, Matcha, Mochas, and espresso shots along with few new Items like: Croissants, Tiramisu, Pretzel, Apple Pie, Cannoli, Blueberry Scone, Custard, Sugar Pie, Bee Sting Cake, Red Bean,  Buns and Cheesecake that are nods to the Hetalia character’s origins and their recipes can only be obtained from befriending a certain character. The Café/bakery is Owned and Operated by multiple characters.

Brew House- At 7pm all the Characters of Cindersnap disappear into the back room of the Coffee House. Where a Speak Easy is hidden and they will stay there hanging out until 11 and then will all go home. You can only get an invite by getting at least 6 hearts with everyone in town and then you will get an anonymous letter giving you the password saying you have passed the vibe check. Inside you can buy Alcohol from Romano who works the bar because the Coffee House does not have their liquor license and they have to operate this underground.

The Ranch-ery- Owned and Operated by Alfred & Matthew. Matthew runs the counter on Thursdays & Tuesdays and the store will operate as a Nursery and sell only trees, fruit trees and berry, herb bushes (See More crops+ mod) You can buy singular fruit here but the prices are steep you are better off just buying the sapling itself. Alfred operates on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Open from 9am-5pm Monday-Saturday and the shop will operate as a Ranch selling full grown cows, milk, milk buckets, hay, and heaters. The store is closed on Sunday.

Mystic Brews- An oddities shop located inside the wizards tower ran by a shadow creature that you can only gain access to only after befriending England, It focuses on gems, mushrooms, potions and some very rare items like the magic wand for a hefty sum. Seeds n’ Such- a general store with all your seasonal seed needs operated by China. Not much to say about it it’s a pretty straight forward shop.

Paella Stand- in the summer/spring Spain comes to town from Calico dessert to run his street food cart he will live here in town for these two seasons but he doesn’t like the cold so he will go back to Calico in the fall/winter. He sells churros, paella and spiced hot chocolate. All these foods give major speed and energy boosts but the catch is you can’t buy it with money and similar to the trader in Calico to have to trade him for gems.

[auckie]

Ok no actually I wanna hear your Trader Joe’s opinions I’m really into the orange strawberry banana juice, the bruschetta sauce, the cranberry lime juice sparkling water and cinnamon schoolbook cookies

You and I agree on the CLSW (cranlime sparkling), haven’t tried the others but I’ll look into them. The normal lime one is also amazing on its own, as well as a mixer for both alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks. Summer must!

There’s so much shit I’m obsessed with, I’ll try and list the most important ones

English crumpets

Mango kefir

Brown sugar oat creamer

Chocolate oat milk

Simpler wines brand sparkling white canned wine

Pfeffernüsse

Chocolate babka

Brioche sliced bread

Danish Kringle

Pinks and whites shortbread cookies

Joe Joe’s gluten free classic Oreo knock off cookie

Madras lentils (boxed kind is good too)

Canned giant baked beans in tomato sauce

The non joes brand oat milk coffee and kombucha but you can get those anywhere

Their candles, two in one grapefruit mint hair wash (I despise two in one products but this one doesn’t foam and is more of a cleansing conditioner I use in between shampoo and regular conditionings), and many other non food items. I’ve bought their towels, seasonal decor (usually those felt garlands), face lotions and oils. Loved all of them. Usually I only restock on the lotion, hand soap, and lavender laundry bags. Their detergent is nice tho, and I’ve also gotten their wool laundry balls but you really only ever gotta buy them like once. They also usually have pretty cute cards at the checkout! I like their cheaper flowers too, but there’s also a lot of very cute seasonal items they carry that I just can’t justify buying bc of price (have you seen their felt sunflowers? So adorable)

Simpler times potato chips

Crispy Crunchy Champignon Mushroom Snack

Fruit leather bars

Dried orange rings

Lox (labeled as smoked salmon iirc)

Both their Tunisian and kalamata olive oil

Vodka sauce

Roasted red pepper and tomato canned soup

Canned vegetable soup

Gone bananas chocolate covered frozen bananas (gone berry crazy strawberries are good too but like a dollar or two more expensive)

Jasmine rice in the frozen isle

Lime popsicles

Steak and stout meat pie

Pastry Bites Feta Cheese & Caramelized Onions

Canned tuna*

*especially with the gluten free microwaveable mac n cheese (I’m not gluten free if you’ve noticed, I literally just prefer some of their gluten free products. Same with the oat milk. I’m not lactose free but I just really like it)

Most of the frozen wontons I’ve tried

Chimichurri rice (goes great with the aforementioned roasted red pepper box soup, and chopped onions, green peppers, and spinach cooked in a wok)

Chicken sausage

Butternut squash gnocchi, iirc the potato gnocchi is good too

Most of their dried pastas

Almond and chocolate filled frozen croissants

The bars of chocolate you find at the check out that come in packs of threes

The weird meat sticks at the checkout too

Frozen hashbrowns

For whatever reason, their frozen green beans and asparagus is so much better than other generic brands I’ve tried

Any of the canned olives but esp the kalamata

Sun dried tomatoes

The produce is okay, a little pricey but they had brown Mexican tomatoes once that fucked hard. The herbs trustworthy too but really where is it not

Any of their chocolate covered nuts

Their fucked up chocolate covered chips, sometimes found in their snack mixes

Peanut butter pretzel snacks

Their dried seaweed isn’t my fav, but it’s not bad. I think it’s overpriced tho but tbf I usually get huuuge, less flavored packs from Costco

Pine nuts but good Gd are they expensive

They have cute, weird heirloom hybrid squashes during the fall a lot too that are pretty tasty

Things I’ve gotten from there that I hated? I didn’t like their orange chicken, ANY of the cereals I’ve gotten from there oddly enough, their pecorino Romano only comes grated and mixed iirc and I didn’t care for it. Some of their beers have made me scowl but also those are all random brands. But their wine (yes, even SHAW. But shoutout to coco bon red blend and blue fin moscato RIP!) has never does me wrong…except for any other flavor of the simpler wines canned ones. I can only do the sparkling white and literally no else I've forced to drink it has liked it! some of their salads have done me wrong. the canned chickpeas and dolmas were off. and some of their pricy juice mixes left me a bit disappointed.

[bemyawakening]

hello, if you’re still taking requests may I please request domestic&fluff hc’s of alejandro and price,thank you<3

DOMESTIC COD CHARACTERS X GN!READER HEADCANONS alejandro, ghost, soap, price, valeria, rodolfo, könig, gaz

Thank you so much for the request, anon! I thought that it was such a good idea that most of the characters deserve to have a few paragraphs! I hope you will like it!

warnings: curse words and tooth-rotting fluff.

ALEJANDRO VARGAS

Lazy Sundays are a must. As much as he is a passionate man, who loves to go exploring—sometimes the warmth of the bed and you make him feel so lazy. That man will whine, protest and create chaos if you’ll refuse to stay with him in bed and do nothing. A planned lunch with friends? Cancel it. In need of groceries? You’ll get order something. Just stay in bed with him if you don’t want to be suffocated in his arms.

Loves to prepare food but likes it too spicy. You can handle spice—but that man could easily get on the Hot Ones and not even shed a tear. For him, the seasoning is chilli peppers. The way you have to watch him like a hawk and force him not to put more spice into the stew - your doctor is already concerned about your health after you ate some stew he made—you almost ended up in the ER.

Loves it when you prepare him food. Yes, it’s not enough spicy for him, but he admires the variety of cuisines you can make. He won’t admit it, but the ravioli you make with mushrooms are to die for.

He isn’t much of a sweets-eating guy, but an occasional muffin goes well with a cup of coffee. His favourite are the triple chocolate muffins and once he almost burnt his hands because he tried to take the trays out of oven without the mittens. Your look was enough to scold him without any words being said.

Enjoys cuddling way too much. If you two are spending the evening together and watching a movie, you better know there isn’t any personal space between you two. Just try to scoot away from him. That man will give you the most hurt look you have ever seen, ready to give you the most dramatic monologue in Spanish that you don’t like him. His love language is touch—please be kind enough to kiss his insecurities away.

Has a garden in the backyard. Absolutely loves to grow his own vegetables and loves it when you are helping him. It’s the most domestic thing he does with you and it always makes him feel better. It puts his mind off the horrors he has to deal with in his job and just focuses on nourishing and growing something. A plus side for you—that man works in the garden without his shirt. And maybe that’s the reason why you’re so eager to help him.

Always will make you a warm bath when you are stressed. He isn’t the type of guy to threaten to hurt someone for making you stressed. He will more likely make sure you will feel better—a warm bath, fuzzy socks, a cup of tea and a cupcake. When it’s hard - he’ll listen to you, knowing just when and what to say to make you feel understood and better.

SIMON “GHOST” RILEY

That man is the definition of domestic. No mask around you, not a scent of gunpowder - nothing. When he is off the missions and with you - he is a different man. Not Lieutenant Ghost, but your Simon.

He really values quality time. Doing nothing with you, just being in the same room with you is relaxing. You couldn’t count how many times he has passed out into an hour-long nap just from how relaxed he was in your presence. He’d always wake up from a loud snore he’d produce, catching your giggle.

Not a very good cook, but he knows a few easy recipes that are divine. Somehow he manages to make an omelette so good that no other omelette compares—what the hell is he putting in there? In addition, he makes a hell of a good tea. It’s one of his love languages to just randomly get you a nice cup of tea without any words exchanged. Yet you know that the cup of warm liquid is his way of saying he loves you.

Loves working out with you. Especially after you two turned your garage into a working-out space. He was always very reserved and closed-up while working out because he usually did it among other soldiers, but with you it is fun! The way he puts you on his back when he is doing push-ups. The way he is looking at your ass without the care in the world when you are doing squats, just waiting to get his hands on your bum. When he’s working with you, he never wears a shirt—he loves seeing you getting distracted in your reps because he just flexed his muscles.

Enjoys reading anything. Some bullshit newspaper with dumb articles? He’s on it just so he could grumble like an old man that it was bullshit. Some gossip magazine you were reading? Hear him display annoyance over the Kardashian names. He loves reading Greek Mythology—it’s not complicated for him and he likes the way the hexameter flows in his mind. You could swear you heard him one night crying about Patroclus’ death, but you never mentioned it—

Big about back hugs. You making lunch? Back hug. You doing your skincare routine? His hands are around you and he is secretly waiting to be pampered as well. Only because of you he has a whole ass skincare routine because you were absolutely aghast once you heard that he washed his face a few times with dish soap.

Be sure that he loves cuddling. He’s very touch-starved and he needs reassurance about that. Can absolutely die when you kiss the top of his head or his forehead. Once, you scratched just the right spot on his scalp and you heard him purr—he gave you the look right there and then that if you’ll say a word - you’ll regret it. But you just continued scratching the spot and you confronted him later on—

Remember the way he loves taking naps? He loves napping with you even more! Especially when you are laying on him, already passed out. Once, he accidentally turned over in his sleep and squished you almost to death—it took quite some time for him to wake up and move away from you as you were just about to die. From then on, he’s always been a bit on guard while napping with you, but you always soothed him enough for him to drift off completely.

Not a fan of taking pictures, but you already have quite the collection in your drawer. Once you showed all of them, blabbering how perfect he looks and that was the first time you saw Simon flush. He was so overwhelmed with the compliments that he couldn’t handle them anymore. Grumbles and mumbles followed as he stormed out of the room and you were horribly sad that you didn’t have a camera back there to take a picture of his rosy cheeks.

JOHN “SOAP” MACTAVISH

Domestic Soap is a rare sight since he is quite the traveller and the chatter. He enjoys taking strolls with you, sightseeing, and travelling, but occasional evenings at home, doing nothing, are refreshing.

He loves to draw. He enjoys nothing more than sketching you when your attention is off to somewhere else - you always get too shy and too giddy when you notice that he is drawing you, so he does it secretly.

Once he gifted you a small sketchbook of sketches full of him and you. You started tearing up and he got seriously terrified—was he that bad at drawing? But once you clung onto his neck and expressed how talented he was, he was the one gulping down the tears. After that, you asked him to teach you how to draw—but then you quickly agreed that he should be the one sticking to it.

He is handy! Anything that needs to be fixed or changed will be done immediately. You don’t have to worry about flickering lights or getting new furniture since he can do it all himself! Yes, he does watch some tutorials on how to do something, but your garage is quickly filled with tons of tools and necessities for the household.

Shower time alone—what is that? You can be sure that once you even think about going to shower, that man will be already ready at the bathroom door. Once you were feeling too shy so you locked the door and he was whining like a lost puppy on the other side of the door. There was nothing more he loved than when you washed his Mohawk—even if he might seem like the 3in1 type of guy, he maintains a whole ass routine for his hair. You, taking care of it, means he trusts you.

Loves to watch reality shows with you. A little bit too invested in Too Hot To Handle, but he keeps on showing his concern when they keep breaking the rules. You always shut him up by asking if he’d manage to keep his hands off you, but he always says it is too different. And he boasts that his favourite couple always wins the money.

A big sucker for family celebrations. Can’t wait for Christmas or birthdays to gather with your or his family. He’s the type of person to make lame jokes around, but everyone loves him. He really is the star of any celebration except when it is another’s birthday. But most of it all, he loves to show you off to his family and friends. Can’t stop talking about you or giving you sweet looks. Couldn’t count on your fingers how many pictures you have where some aunty took a photo of you two—you laughing at his joke and him giving you heart eyes.

JOHN PRICE

Just like Simon, John is the definition of domestic as well. He loves having lazy mornings and lazy evenings as long as you are with him. If you tiptoe into the terrace while he is having his morning cigar and hug him from behind, that man will swoon instantly.

The one to bring you breakfast to your bed. He’s quite good at cooking and always surprises you with either an English Breakfast or something sweeter with a cup of tea of your liking. The presentation on the tray is always on spot—can do fabulous hearts on pancakes with Nutella.

Lets you take care of his beard. Now, listen—you see how well he takes care of his beard? It’s really important for him. You always eagerly help him to shave or to shape the beard, especially in the spots he can’t really see himself. There is just something about the way you sit on the bathroom counter, gently trimming his beard just the way he taught you.

Big on silly board games. Will absolutely crush you at Monopoly and Alias. Don’t even talk about any card games, because he might seem like he is an old man, but he quickly learns the rules and then no one can beat him. Every game night ends with you frowning and getting mad at him and him smugly saying that he will make it up to you.

Loves reading to you. Loves reading overall, but doesn’t spend much time doing so. That’s why, whenever you get on the couch into his arms with his book in your hand, he always smiles so widely that his cheeks start to burn. And when you admitted that his voice is the most pleasant thing you have ever heard—you can be sure that he will never deny your request to read for you out loud.

Big on dancing with you. Creating that cosy evening atmosphere when it is dark outside. When a stupid show is on the TV and he already goes to the Home Stereo and puts on some old, slow music, extending his hand to you. Either looking into your face or burying his nose into the crook of your neck while dancing—he just loves holding you close. Loves the way you giggle when he spins you around. Loves the way you wrap your arms around his neck and look him in the eyes.

Has a ridiculous amount of bucket hats. If it was up to him, he’d walk around the house you two share in them. But due to your protests, he only wears them outside. However, when you two are travelling and you put on his bucket hat to hide from the sunlight—that man is gone. Wherever you two are, you better hope your house or a hotel is close because he needs to show how much he loves you when you are wearing his hats.

VALERIA GARZA

It’s hard having Valeria over only for yourself. She is always not home. Always somewhere out there. Doing her business. Keeping you as far away from it as possible.

But some mornings, you would wake to find her all cuddled up to you—normally, Valeria would never admit that she loves cuddling up to you or being held by you. It was as if she always had to be on her guard, always to be superior and not show that she was quite fragile on the inside.

The way she would hum in pure ecstasy when you would pull her closer, gently stroke her hair because she knew well you won’t use the fact that she is without her guard against her.

You were the only person she shared her true smile with. No devilish grin, no mocking smiles—the first time you saw her truly smiling and her nose slightly scrunching - you were absolutely in heaven. You remember the way she absolutely demolished the pancakes you made one breakfast and the syrup was left around her mouth for you to kiss away. That’s when you received a smile from her and you knew it was only for you.

A big fan of your thighs. If you are sitting on the couch, watching TV, you better be sure that Valeria will lay her head on your thighs. You better put your hands to work and stroke her hair—make her time worth it.

Big on forehead kisses—there are countless forehead kisses you didn’t know about since she left in the middle of the night. She’d tuck you in, gently wrap herself away from your arms and kiss your forehead as if it was a butterfly’s touch. She’d admire you for a second—you were so beautiful.

Since she wasn’t home often, sometimes when she would come back - she’d find you waiting for her, drinking tea, doing some work on your laptop. She’d never specify when she is coming back, but it was as if you had a sixth sense for when she will come home. You better be sure that when she sees you late in the night, she will give you a kiss that will sweep you off your feet.

A whole different story is when you are sick. There wasn’t a time when you were sick and she wasn’t home. She was home all the time to take care of you. She’d spend restless nights just to make sure you were breathing and didn’t need something else. Your health was her priority - she couldn’t lose you.

At moments like these, she’d even show off her amazing cooking skills that only a sick state of you is allowed to see. She’d make you her grandmother’s stew which would make you feel better instantly, but you may or may not pretend to be sick just a tad bit longer so she would be beside you.

RODOLFO PARRA

This man does everything with you. He’s really big at doing chores together. Not only does he find that it’s far more efficient this way, but you two always make it far more fun than just swiping the dust—yes, the little dance breaks are a must.

Loves cooking with you. Anything really. Can be the sous-chef or can be the one giving you orders on what to do. It depends on which recipe you are making that day—if it’s yours, he will obey doing everything and if it’s his - he’ll let you do the easiest tasks because he doesn’t want to overwork you.

Definitely the golden retriever type of man so be prepared for his beautiful puppy eyes. He knows his power and he uses it against you. Just try to tell him no and face the way the consequences hit you on their own.

Always lets you have the last piece—I’m talking about anything. Last slice of pizza? It’s yours! Last piece of brownie? He’s already pushing it towards you. Last teabag of your favourite tea? Yours, yours and yours.

Really really big on hugs. Bear hugs precisely. Loves it when he can bury his nose into your neck and slightly squeeze you with his arms. The way your body fits in his always amazes him and he just can’t get enough of your warmth.

Always notices any changes you had. Went to the hairdresser? He will notice the one centimetre gone of your split ends. Changed your routine in makeup? Notices that you haven’t used that kind of eyeshadow before. Has all of the brands you used memorised and knows which product does what. Hell, he sometimes does your skincare or makeup for you.

Oddly good at handcrafting. If you are quite handsy with knitting, crocheting or sewing and you decide to show him how to do it, just know that he will quickly get the hang of it. He will even enjoy it and will never be ashamed to admit it. He thinks it’s amazing that you can create something with your hands and most of your gifts to each other quickly become something you two have made yourself.

KÖNIG

Domestic time with you means so much to him. Social anxiety can drain his energy and domestic time revives him. That doesn’t mean that you two don’t go out to have dinner or to watch a movie in the cinema, he just prefers to be home a bit more.

That man is a sucker for any romantic comedy. He will cry and laugh at any cliches and rewatch all of his favourite movies with you. If the couple is dancing in the rain, best know that he’s already looking at you with those eyes meaning that when it’ll rain - you two will be outside. Watching movies with you is relaxing - he knows you won’t judge the fact that he really isn’t into action or horror movies. His job puts him through enough. So romcom it is!

If you can sing or play any instrument, he’ll always listen to you do it. It’s very calming to him—hearing you practice, playing the chords wrong or hitting the wrong note always makes him smile. It feels refreshing to see you put your mind and soul into something so beautiful. Secretly, he takes some videos of you playing for him because he knows for sure that if you’d know he was filming you - you would stop playing.

Big on giving you massages. That man would do anything to get his hands on you, honestly… He enjoys the way you lean back to him when he gently kneads your shoulder blades. Please return the favor! If you want to put the giant man on his knees, a few gentle strokes down his back and he’s purring for you.

Really likes to colour with you those mandala colouring books. It might have seem silly at first, but you two are seated in the living room, only candlelight on the table as you two are colouring—one page for you and the other one for him. He always whines that he’s not able to choose the right colours, but always ends up with the most beautiful colour combinations making you rage out at him and poke his ribs. That man tends to doubt himself—praise him.

Likes to cocoon you into blankets and carry you around. No matter your protests, he will do whatever he pleases with you. Most of the time you just end up being placed on him during a movie, his lips buried at the top of your head and giving you small kisses.

If you take care of him of his fresh wounds, he will be very thankful for you. He never wants to make you worry, but with his size on the battlefield, he sometimes gets clumsy from the adrenaline overload. He appreciates how soft you are tending to him, placing kisses over scars and new bruises. Of course, after that, he receives a flick on his forehead from making you worry.

Big on asking random questions in the middle of the night. Just as you are about to fall asleep, comfortably wrapped in his arms, he’ll hit you with: “How many stomachs do cows have again?” The question makes you groan: “Four, my love, please sleep.” But that never shuts him up—then he will be concerned about the fact that you know the answer, and then he will google it and see some pictures that will traumatise him.

KYLE “GAZ” GARRICK

Loves to play video games with you. Yes, he is competitive most of the time, but if you are playing somewhere you two are in a team against others—you better know that he’ll protect you even in the game and praise you when you do a perfect headshot.

Despite him being a very outgoing partner, he sometimes needs quiet days. You know exactly when to give him his space and when to approach him with a cup of tea. He really appreciates the way you can read him as an open book.

Once you gifted him a huge set of Lego - Hogwarts edition and you saw his eyes sparkle like two shiny stars. He was seated all night putting it together and when he was finished, he was waking you up at four in the morning, getting you to the living room where the glory of his was standing. You swore you never have seen him smile like that.

Making sweets with him is quite frustrating. Because in 9 of 10 cases you end up with clothes dusted in flour or chocolate running down your nose—he’s playful. He’d do anything to make you squeal or laugh from the bottom of your heart. As an act of revenge, you always eat the last piece of cake you two have made together right in front of his face. Especially when he is already reaching for it.

Big on taking naps at a random time of the day—before going to sleep, he will kick up his legs on the coffee table and snooze out for ten minutes before joining you in bed. Likes it, even more, when you are the one to wake him up, but that ends up with you being on his lap, his lips peppering your body with small kisses while he is gently tickling you.

[william-scott77]

Trippy Treats Magic shrooms chocolate bars

Trippy Treats Magic shrooms chocolate bars the highest quality Psilocybin chocolate bar on the market made by extracting the psilocybin from the mushrooms. Allows for a much pure High eliminating the upset stomach feeling users would get from digesting mushrooms.

[joanofarcbutsilly]

john “soap” mactavish x reader

ft. ghost

cute little thoughts about soap and reader finding a place to enjoy

reader is gender neutral! can be read as platonic or romantic!

my favorite order at MY local diner is included as a little easter egg hehe

one of the ways soap shows you he cares is by remembering as much information about you as he possibly can

pov: you and soap are at a diner you two love to visit on your off time after being relocated

a little establishment that’s pretty close to the base, just near enough to be able to sneak off without being caught be ghost

simon always knows when you and johnny leave camp, nothing really escapes him, especially the goings on at work. even though he will ALWAYS be able to find another task that needs completing for one or both of you, he also knows that soap loves the thrill of your “secret” rendezvous. he won’t admit it, but he finds it very cute, and how could he put a stop to such a simple pleasure?

anyways! back to soap!

so you two are at the your little hide out hole-in-the-wall, just chatting it up about anything and everything

soap LOVES to gossip

he will tell you some probably (read: definitely) fake stories. like the time he had to share a bed with the rest of the 141 at a safe house, and he SWEARS TO GOD that when he woke up in the middle of the night he saw simon and price cuddling in their sleep.

you can make fun of him all you want, call him a no good liar, say you KNOW it’s not true, you can even bring proof! tell him about the time you and ghost had to share a little patch of floor for bedtime, and when you knocked into him in his sleep he punched you in the stomach so hard you almost threw up.

soap says simon must just not like you that much, because he SWEARS ghost has kissed him on the forehead in his sleep.

he is such a faker.

there is no real point in arguing with him, he will defend each and everyone of his tall tales to his death. he has swore on everything he holds dear, including his mother, and locked pinkies with you so many times that it’s a little inside greeting for the two of you now.

you and soap have also challenged yourselves to try EVERYTHING on the menu. johnny insists that you give every menu item a shot, even the ones you know for a fact you won’t/don’t like. HOWEVER, he always has a clever excuse to why he can’t eat anything with mushrooms.

the seriousness of his “allergy” to mushrooms has been recorded ranging from hives, to immediate anaphylactic shock, he’s even claimed that he will combust into flames.

YOU have to try everything though. no excuses.

once you have managed to taste the entire menu, you go back to ordering whatever is your favorite

which brings us to soap’s next little quirk

soap LOVES ordering for you

not in a controlling way of course! he just loves to show off how well he knows you, to the smallest detail!

he knows EXACTLY how you like your favorite drink. how many creamers and sugar packets you like in your coffee, the juice you prefer (and has no shame in asking for mixes of several types, since he knows that you like an apple and cranberry juice concoction), and if you like iced tea, he knows how many lemon slices you like and if you like it sweetened or unsweetened. he knows all of this by HEART. your preferences are tattooed onto his soul.

so when the waitress comes over and turns to you to ask for your order, soap holds up both of his hands frantically and exclaims for you to wait. he then leans forward with his eyes closed and his elbows on the table, fingers massaging his temples.

“hmmm-“ he starts, much too seriously for the problem at hand, “they wan’ a denver skillet. eggs sunny side up. extra cheese and peppers. replace the toast with pancakes. with chocolate chips. and sprinkes. and whipped cream.”

he breaks character when he can’t hold back anymore and his face cracks into a smile, “could ya’ make the pancakes into a mouse?”

the waitress is charmed and amused by the two of you, and especially appreciates the generous tip she gets from you both, so she is more than willing to put up with your shenanigans.

soap still has a sly grin when he asks you if you’d like to change anything

soap is a human garbage can, so if you order for him (just make sure it doesn’t have mushrooms), whatever it is, he will loudly declare that it was the best meal he’s ever had.

when you and the rest of the 141 eventually have to move from this base to the next, this little tradition continues. you and soap immediately hunt out the closest local eatery, and start all over.

bonus!!

soap cannot keep his mouth shut, and will tell ghost all of the details of your excursions when he gets bored on coms.

ghost will just ignore him most of the time, just humming in false acknowledgment of whatever the hell soap is saying.

BUT. soap doesn’t know it, but his Lt. has taken the liberty to visit the same establishments as the two of you, and has escaped running into you guys by the skin of his teeth.

thank god he never stays, because soap would be in SO MUCH SHIT

[ghostismybbygorl]

Its 4/20 you know what that meaaaaans

420 headcannons

Nsfw

Warnings: Drug use (duh)

Lets get started

Ghost

This man is a STONER. He smokes weed all day everyday

He likes to dabble into mushrooms as well though he has to be in the right headspace to do it.

He likes to go on camping trips and trip on mushrooms while hes doing the hike in and relaxing listening to the nature and watching the trees move as he lays in a hammock

He prefers hybrid strand of weeds since it balances him out and calms him down.

He keeps a cbd pen on him and uses it after a tough mission or if he really needs to focus

He hates edibles with a passion. He took one of soaps brownies thinking it was a normal brownie and was sprawled out on the couch unable to move completely greened out

He uses a bong or pre rolled joints (gaz rolls them for him

MUNCHIES GALLORE

He has a trio; something sweet, something salty, and chocolate

You can catch him at 3am devouring leftovers, soaps snack stash, anything edible hell eat

This is the grinder and bong he likes to use

Soap

Doesnt smoke as much as ghost and gaz but he does it every other week

He likes sativa because it helps him focus but also puts him in a good mood

BIG ACID TAKER.

He'll trip on acid when he goes to a rave or music festival

When he goes on excursions with ghost to partake in psychedelics he'll drop a tab

He's done all the psychedelic drugs but prefers acid and shrooms the most

Hes a big edible eater he makes THE BEST pot brownies just a perfect amount to where you get high but not green out (only that one time he made them extra strong for him and gaz (ghost stole some and made him green out))

He prefers to smoke joints and edibles

Price

Not a big weed guy but he takes cbd gummies to keep his stress levels down

Accidentally ate soaps pot brownies and sat on the couch staring at the tv while gaz had to babysit him (they put on those child stimming videos to keep him chill)

Used to do coke like crazy in his 20's but stopped when he realized how bad it was affecting his life style

Surprisingly he'll join a smoke session with the kids and just vibe out telling war stories to them

Big joint smoker and gummie taker

He likes hybrid and indicia; the man really just wants ti veg out and not worry about anything

Gaz

Certified babysitter

He's in charge of the snacks and taking care of everyone when theyre high

He smokes pretty much every day and keeps a dap pen on him at all times

Introduced price to cbd gummies

He doesnt like psychedelics at all he tried doing shrooms with ghost and ended up having a bad trip

"Ghost, the purple men are following us"

He likes usuing different strands depending on the day hes having

If he's tired and needs a little boost he'll do some sativa but if he just wants to chill and veg out he'll do indicia

Learned very early on to not mix strands in one day. He ended up greening out and had to be babysat by his friends and keep him calm

JOINT ROLLER SUPREME

This man can roll the most perfect joints in the world

He usually smokes with ghost if he wants to be social with someone

Their smoke sessions are the best. They like to share a blunt watch some bluey and eat ghosts munchie combos

[trivialbob]

Today was scorching hot and very sunny. I doused myself with suncreen, filled a backpack with water, more sunscreen, and dental floss, and went over to the "Great Minnesota Get-Together," otherwise know as the annual Minnesota State Fair.

When I arrived at 10:00 AM the place was packed. If you do not revel in big crowds, sweaty people, fried food, food on a stick, high food and drink prices, farm animals, or tractors, this place is not for you. I can tolerate this mixture of things if I go to the fair every few years.

Lots of people. Did I already say that?

Getting there is easy if one takes a bus. $5 buys a round trip ticket from one of several park-and-rides around the cities. Both the bus ticket and the admission ticket can be purchased online ahead of time. Very easy.

People watching is excellent. Food smells are delightful. The assortment of eats is interesting. It would never have occurred to me to make deep-fried pickles. I didn't try them but I heard some people raving about how good they were.

French fries and huge tubs of chocolate cookies are popular and available in several stands. I shudder thinking what a nutrition label on those cookies would look like. It likely would indicate a serving size as "one small bite" just so the amounts of sugar, sodium, and fat didn't exceed 200% of the recommended daily allowance.

For my lunch I tried the HotDish-on-a-Stick. Hot Dish is a Minnesota thing, made with a tater tot topping over a mixture of meat, cream of mushroom soup, and maybe some veggies. The stand selling hotdish-on-a-stick didn't have a line of people. That is not a good sign. It did have a sign explaining what you got for $7 (a bargain compared to other food stands).

I liked the concept, but results didn't work for me. It tasted like deep fried batter. The mushroom-hamburger dipping sauce was too salty, and I only dipped into it one time.

Some food stands had enormous lines. There must have been 150 people waiting for a new-this-year doughnut stand. "The Doughnut" was $5. Based on the long line, they easily could charged more. The Peanut Butter Cream doughnut was $10. At that price I would have thought it would be served on a stick. This stand had me curious, but I wasn't going to wait in that line.

On Machinery Hill there were collections of vintage farm and garden tractors. Very cool. There were also lots of trucks, modern lawn equipment, side-by-sides, ATVs, and travel trailers on display. I sat on a swell little John Deer tractors and made revving noises with my mouth, much like I did as a 5-year-old in Sears stores long, long ago. I thought it was funny, but an actual 5-year-old boy today looked at me and backed away.

There are also a lot of the "as seen on TV" displays, selling items you didn't know you had to have!

The 4H people had farm displays. I like those kids. The Miracle of Birth Center had newborn calves, chicks, goats, and lambs.

After several hours of walking around my feet were burning and my back hurt a little. As I made my way back to the gate where the buses were, I stopped to try some deep fried mac and cheese bites and have a beer. Those bites were delicious. The beer, while a little pricey, was extremely refreshing and frankly worth the price in that heat.

I plopped into a seat on the articulated bus. The air conditioning worked very well. I actually started to nod off as we waited to leave.

Four blondes and a brunette get on a bus...

No, this isn't a joke. It really happened. As my bus started to pull away and take us back to our cars, an adorable young woman, the brunette, walked up to the driver.

"Wait, where does this bus go?" She apparently missed the large banners with park-and-ride names and the those same names flashing on the bus LED signs.

The driver explained that we were going to the Bloomington park and ride, next to the Mall of America.

The brunette turned to her similarly cute cohorts, the four blondes with nearly identical haircuts, who sat midway down the bus.

"What bus did we take to get here?"

The other four came up to the front of the bus. They discussed it. I heard one blonde say she was sure they had not parked in Bloomington.

"Ohmygosh, will let us get off this bus?"

We hadn't left the parking area yet so the driver politely said he could do that. The brunette turned to address the rest of the passengers.

"I'm so sorry you guys, to make you wait like that." (It had been under a minute.)

Everyone said it was no problem and wished them well finding the correct bus. I smiled, then dozed off for the ride to Bloomington.

[jakey-beefed-it]

Quite possibly the most boring thing I've done all day- coming up with a price list for the main inn where my PCs will be meeting up/staying in their first session. Under a cut in case anyone actually wants to look at it or use it for their own campaigns.

Services

Quad room per night 8 sp

Double room per night 6 sp

Single room per night 4 sp

Stabling per night 5 cp

Tobacco (4 oz pouch) 4 cp

Drinks

Hard cider, beer, or ale, pint 5 cp

Whiskey, rum, or gin, bottle 4 sp

Whiskey, rum, or gin, shot 5 cp

Wine (decent, bottle) 1 gp

Wine (decent, glass) 2 sp

Wine (Alvere, bottle) 14 gp

Wine (Alvere, glass) 3 gp

Coffee or tea, mug 2 cp

Hot apple cider or cocoa, mug 2 cp

Milk (cow or goat, pint) 1 cp

Juice (orange or apple, pint) 2 cp

Food

Cheese (local Cheddar, wheel) 1 sp

Cheese (local, 1/8th section) 2 cp

Cheese (imported Brie, wheel) 4 sp

Cheese (Brie, 1/8th section) 8 cp

Roasted chicken 1 sp

Baked ham 5 sp

Bacon (4 pcs) 4 cp

Sausage (big ol kielbasa) 5 cp

Trout filet 7 cp

Salmon filet 1 sp

Fish n chips (3 battered cod pcs & potato wedges) 1 sp

Mutton shank 5 cp

Mutton and barley stew 2 cp

Oatmeal or barley porridge 1 cp

Bread (loaf, w/ butter or jam) 2 cp

2 eggs (any prep) 1 cp

Seasoned potato (baked, mashed, or diced) 1 cp

Mushroom platter (seasonal) 4 cp

Vegetable platter (seasonal) 2 cp

Fruit platter (seasonal) 2 cp

Pie (apple, peach, pumpkin, lemon) w/ cream 14 cp

Cake (carrot, chocolate, vanilla) 1 sp

Specials

Breakfast (4 eggs, diced potatoes, coffee or tea) 4 cp 

Luncheon (sandwich, 2 fruits, pint drink) 6 cp

Supper (½ chicken, stew, bread, baked potato, pint) 12 cp

Feast (serves 3-6, bottomless pints or shots) 5 gp

[eating-the-inedible]

Here is a list of the inedibles that will be in this bracket

Lava

Orbeez

Orange Joe (fictional "beverage" that's a combination of orange juice and coffee)

Doll shoes

Dirt

Pen caps

Mercury

Watermelon tourmaline

Comet/scouring powder

Moss

Paper towels

Play-Doh

Drywall

Marbles

CD

DVD

Dice

Kinetic Sand

Coins 

Fiberglass insulation

3DS Stylus

Plastic Bottle Cap

Chapstick

Babybell Cheese Wax

Paper

Bouncy ball

Human meat

Venus (planet)

Cascade dishwasher pods

Acrylic Paint

Magnets

Molten glass

Pens

Sea glass

Silica gel packet

Leaves

Cocoa butter lotion

Antifreeze

Pencil Toppers, the lil eraser things

Sand

Tumbled amethyst

Rubber Ducks

The rubber balls from the game Cranium Cariboo

Polly pocket clothes

Poison Dart Frog

Snow

0.1 uF Film Capacitor

The sun

Metal

Eraser

Tide pods

Phone charger wire

Those free wooden pencils you get at ikea (just the wood shell not the lead)

Liquid nitrogen

Aquarium gravel

the weird science juice in the beakers in those stock images

Origami star

Styrofoam cup

Sticky note

Collar of shirt

This submission form

Plastic straws

Glow sticks

Oil paintings

Candle wax

Glass

Nickel sulfate solution/Nickel plating solution

Silicone wristbands

Seatbelt

The wax paper under your Poutine

Forearm (doesn't have to be one's own)

Asbestos

Candy wrapper

“Okay so technically this is edible but I’ve had urges to just take a huge bite out of certain sea creatures before. Like just a chunk from an orca or dolphin or great white or seal, etc.”

“Those stupid wooden spoons”

Furbies

Scotch tape

Artificial grapes (the wax/plastic ones for display)

phone

THE FLESH OF MY ENEMIES

Crystals

Fire

The goo inside  Stretch Armstrong

Headphone wire

Raw steak

Art

Small colorful rubber bands 

Tinfoil

Pencil lead

Cattails (the plant)

Foamy soap

Liquid soap

Bar soap

Flourite

Shiny rocks

Grass

A hunk of random fish swimming by

A live goldfish

Toothpaste

Styrofoam

Price Tag Fasteners

The moon

Pool noodles

Smol frog

Destroying angel mushroom

the smoke coming out of the grain refineries two Mike's out of Gary, Indiana, Usa

Popsicle sticks

Cardboard

My hat

The tiny rocks in school playgrounds

Gasoline

Blue laundry detergent

Spray foam insulation

Battery corrosion

Fiber optic cables

Packing peanuts

Your mother

Pond water

Dry ice

Alkali metals

Chocolate shampoo

Ping pong ball

Bricks, like the stuff you'd build with. Minecraft bricks even, if you want

Hoodie drawstrings

Horse treats

Chalk

Copper (II) Sulphate Water / Blue Science Rock + Blue Science Juice

Ink

Floam

Fabric Paint

Oil paint

that one art piece of the banana taped to the wall

the hotdog somebody encased in resin

“the thin lego plates not the base plates but like the lego piece thats like 2x8 and they kinda look like hershey chocolate bar pieces”

One of those little hamsters

Model magic

Battery Acid (the drink)

manchineel apple

Rubber band ball

The lava lamp liquid

Blood

Rosin

Wax apples

That cake decoration that came with your slice and you're like 90% sure it's not edible... but what if ?

Soap bubble

Lush cosmetics' products

Plushies

Strawberry Shortcake's dolls with scented hair

Wood

Glue

Salt lamp

People who think children are not worth their consideration

Tarmac

Shampoo

Pennies

Poisonous berries

Chunky soft yarn

Crayons 

Rock

“whatever the Chuck E Cheese Ticket Muncher Machine is eating (it's not the tickets) (or the sound itself but that's neither a solid nor a liquid so this is just kind of holding hands with the hypothetical ticket muncher food)”

Snow globe liquid

Chisel tip whiteboard marker

Raw dough

Raw fuckin cactus. alive

Grape agate

Car seat

Succulents

Keys

Lock pick

Scrub daddy

Molten sugar 

Allergens

Lightning bolts

“Bark dust. Like the dirt/bark dust that's under the bark chips on a playground. Not the chips themselves. The dust.”

Clear deodorant

Apple earbud wires

Eggshells

Squinkies

Hello kitty sweatshirt zipper

Preshredded mozzarella cheese

Scrap metal

Rose

All of the rocks at a crystal shop

Origami polyhedron model

Bubbles mixture

Cupcake liners

Hair gel

Curtain rods

Incense sticks

Incense cones

Metal thing that attaches eraser to pencil

Windshield wiper fluid

Plastic pencil grips

Wooden ice cream spoon

Book

Tree

The liquid in levels

Vanilla extract

Aroace flag

Coil incense

California state testing “next question” button

Spackle

Forbidden coal iron french fries

Garage doors that look like chocolate bars

Plastic takeout box

Velvet

Weird anime girl hair

Freezable gel ice pack

Clouds

Necklace chains

Nail polish

Pencil Shavings

Pool floats

Bao Dumpling

Spray deodorant

0.1 uF Ceramic Capacitor

Vanillish (Pokémon)

Fondant

Really fancy pillars

Computers

Favorite song

Tumblr

“THE LITTLE ORBS IN THE MOUSE (aka trackballs)”

“Any cutesy anime character like Chopper or Pikachu”

Wooden fan blades

Balsa wood sticks

Those blankets that look like tortillas

Microwave

Milk and golden honey softsoap

Batteries

1x2 lego pieces

Light bulbs

Slightly melted lounge chair

Cork (the material)

Pineapple coke

Fingernails 

Sparkly lipgloss

Race Car Tire Marble

Gold trophies

Konjac sponge

Shirt

Mandy the Slayer / Orange Spyderco Dragonfly Knife

Malachite

Heater

Glasses Temples

Typewriter keys

EVA foam

Airplane

Sword

Crumbs in the couch

Children

My wife's arm/shoulder

Records

Yellow ACE bandages

Neon Signs

Scented candles