#My Ex Is Back In My Life Fascinating Useful Ideas

[pollymorgan]

Ex-husband Negan Part 1

Warnings: Negan is a total asshole, but hot!

When I first saw Negan, almost exactly 29 years ago, I had no idea what important role he would play in my life. I was just a naive girl, instantly infatuated with this rebellious, outspoken, handsome motorcyclist who didn't follow any rules and did his own thing. Just a few days after that first meeting, he became my first serious boyfriend.

Love is blind, they say, and that certainly applied to me. I put up with all his mistakes, lies, and escapades for three whole years until I finally had enough and ended things. The pain and disappointment overshadowed my life for a long time. But if you think you learn from your mistakes, then you don't know me. When I was in my late twenties, this guy had drawn me back in and even convinced me to marry him.

Had he changed? Not at all! Despite his constant assurances. But maybe he simply can't help it. Negan remains Negan. In the cursed seventh year, I couldn't take it anymore and filed for divorce. Not because I didn't love him anymore, in fact quite the opposite, but the disappointments were just too much to bear.

Despite everything, he had given me the most precious and wonderful gift in my - our life. Our two babies. Gracie and Lizzie. And that fact alone will probably never truly separate us.

The two of them are no longer little, though, but 11 and 17 years old. And my ex-husband is the best father i could imagine. It seems like he wants to make up for all the mistakes he made with me through them.

They love their father more than anything, and that alone makes me incredibly happy. That's why I can't hate him, even though I have pretty good reasons to.

Just now, the three of them spent the last weeks of summer vacation in a cabin in the mountains. The fact that my media-crazed girls wanted to spend their free time fishing, swimming, and hiking, all without cell phone reception, fascinated me immensely. They probably would have thought I was crazy if I had made that suggestion to them.

It was strange not having my daughters in the house, but I also enjoyed the peace a little. It had been quiet around me for a long time.

My new partner, an architect from the office where I work, and I had been arguing more and more in recent months. Last week, it even escalated to the point where he moved into a hotel. Fortunately, Gracie and Lizzie weren't home.

I wanted this relationship to work so badly, but apparently it was doomed to fail. Steve is the complete opposite of Negan - calm, down-to-earth, perhaps even a bit boring, but I thought that after everything I had been through, that's exactly what I needed.

Ironically, what I constantly accuse Negan of, that he can never maintain a long-term relationship, unfortunately seems to apply to me as well.

But today, I tried to push my worries aside because my daughters were returning from their vacation, and I was looking forward to being able to hold them in my arms again after two weeks.

I was just about to put their favorite casserole in the oven when my phone rang.

"Gracie, my darling!" I almost shouted into the receiver.

"Hello Mom, we're on our way back now!" she replied.

"When will you be here? ... Dinner won't be ready for another hour.."

"Dad, how much longer do we have to drive?" I heard her ask.

When I heard Negan's response faintly in the background, my expression hardened and I looked at the clock in shock.

"Another 5 hours???" I asked incredulously.

It was almost 6 PM and school started tomorrow. Negan had promised me that they would be back in time for dinner.

"Sweetheart, can you please give me your father on the phone..." I spoke as calmly as I could into the receiver, and Gracie immediately handed the phone over.

"Hello, my beautiful..." he said with his unmistakable, deep voice that still gave me goosebumps after all these years.

At his words, I couldn't help but smile, even though I wasn't really in the mood for it.

"Negan, damn it, you promised to be back for dinner, the kids have to go back to school early tomorrow morning.." I said seriously.

I heard an irritated grunt from him, then he replied, "I didn't know that you bourgeois have dinner promptly at 6, but now seriously... our girls wanted to see a waterfall, and you know I can't deny them any wishes. I'll bring them home safely, I promise."

"I know..." I whispered into the receiver and then emphasized louder, "...but that's not the point!"

After the call, I turned off the oven in exasperation and sat down in front of the TV with a glass of red wine, trying to distract myself with some silly soap opera to prevent my anger from escalating even further, but it wasn't really working.

"It's okay, nothing happened, they're just coming home a bit later," I tried to reassure myself, cursing Negan inwardly. He broke every promise he made to me with such ease.

The hands of the clock seemed to stand still, or at least that's how it felt to me. Time passed agonizingly slowly. I started preparing everything for Lizzie's school day tomorrow. She would be so tired in the morning, and I already felt sorry for her.

By 10 PM, I was standing by the window, staring out into the dark night, while the table was set and dinner was ready. After what felt like an eternity, the car finally pulled up with my family.

My two girls jumped out of the car beaming with joy, and that dashed any hope I had that they might have slept a little during the drive.

I immediately opened the front door, and Lizzie ran into my arms.

"Mama, I caught the biggest fish of all..." she shouted from a distance.

"That's amazing, did you have a lot of fun?" I asked her, holding her tightly in my arms, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair.

"It was the coolest vacation ever!!!" she said convincingly and then rushed into the house. My eldest approached me more slowly, but she too had a big grin on her face. Gracie had inherited her father's smile and knew exactly how to get away with everything with me. She had to use it quite often, considering she also inherited Negan's temper. I pulled her into my arms as well and was once again taken aback by how grown she had become. There wasn't much left of my little girl; she already seemed so mature.

"It was really cool, Mom," she said coolly.

Then my gaze fell on Negan. Damn, after all these years, just seeing him made my heart beat faster. With my arms crossed, I tried to glare at him as menacingly as possible, but he just smiled and planted a way too long kiss on my cheek.

The smell of his aftershave and the feeling of his lips on my skin took my breath away for a few seconds. I quickly composed myself and swallowed hard.

As he tried to enter the house as if it were the most natural thing in the world, I stood provocatively in his way.

"Thanks, Negan! Have a good night, get home safely..." I said.

Lizzie came running back immediately. You could hear her running on the parquet floor from a distance.

"Can't Dad eat with us?" she asked, completely excited.

"It's already late, my dear..." I replied firmly, ruffling her hair, but not breaking eye contact with Negan.

"Is Stevieboy projecting his jealousy again, or why can't I even take a damn step into my family's house?" he asked, slightly amused.

Shocked, I looked at him. I was used to his remarks, but claiming something like that in front of our youngest daughter shocked even me.

"My husband isn't here... he's on a business trip!" I lied.

"Husband? If anything, he's more like your friend, or rather your companion for this phase of life..." Negan corrected me provocatively, underlining his statement with another grin.

Gracie returned to the door as well. "Dad drove forever, can't we eat together at least? We can show you some really cool pictures. Dad bought us a really awesome DSLR camera..."

I bit my tongue to stop myself from commenting on his unnecessary expenses. How many times had we argued about his inability to handle money in the past? But unlike him, I didn't want to say such things in front of our children. So, I reluctantly stepped aside and gestured for him to come into the house.

During dinner, everyone was talking at once, sharing the wildest stories from their trip. Both my daughters definitely inherited their tendency to exaggerate their stories from their father. But just like him, they always made me laugh with their tales. So, I even shed a few tears of joy as they recounted every detail to me. I felt Negan watching me the whole time, when he wasn't putting on his black-rimmed glasses to find the right picture to match the current anecdote on his camera.

Mid-conversation, Gracie suddenly jumped up as her phone vibrated, "It's David finally...." She ran out of the room with a big smile on her face.

"We won't be seeing her tonight..." I stated, wiping a few tears from the corner of my eye that I had shed while laughing.

"Oh, David... that guy doesn't sit well with me at all..." Negan observed seriously, looking at me somewhat perplexed.

"May I remind you that our daughter hasn't been a little girl for a long time... she's 17!" I chuckled at the fact that it seemed to genuinely bother him.

"David is her boyfriend..." Lizzie chimed into the conversation.

"Sweets, promise me that at least you won't bring a boyfriend home, okay?" Negan addressed our youngest.

"That's nonsense, your mom was 16 when she met your dad... even a year younger than your sister now..." I explained to her.

"That's exactly why this whole thing worries me so much..." Negan cut me off, and as I looked at him, I couldn't help but think back to the night I lost my innocence to this guy. Everything was so perfect back then. I know not many women can say that about their first time. But even though we were both so young, Negan was so tender and considerate with me, yet so confident that he dispelled all my insecurities. And that night was just the beginning of many more, even better... Lost in thought, I bit my lip until Lizzie's words snapped me out of my reverie.

"Can Daddy tuck me in, pleeease...?" she asked.

Smiling, I kissed her forehead. "Yes, of course..."

After everyone had gone upstairs, I started clearing the table, taking my time. I slowly washed the large casserole dish and then loaded the rest into the dishwasher.

"Is anyone checking out this perfect ass?!"

Negan's voice made me jump. I hadn't heard him approach, and as I turned to face him, he was pouring two glasses of red wine as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

I had to process the shock for a moment, then I made a dismissive gesture with my hands as he approached me.

"You should leave, it's late... way too late..." I said as convincingly as I could.

The tall man stopped right in front of me and wordlessly handed me one of the glasses. I knew the sparkle in his hazel eyes all too well, and it made my knees weak.

For a while, he just looked into my eyes, then he gently caressed my bare upper arm with his fingertips. Goosebumps formed where he touched me tenderly.

"You were thinking about our first time earlier, weren't you? I could see it in your beautiful eyes..." he whispered softly, while his gaze roamed unabashedly over my body.

I swallowed hard and then looked at him feigning surprise. "No, I don't know what you're talking about..." Why could he still read me like an open book after all this time?

Instead of protesting, he smiled knowingly.

I needed to get away! Away from this situation that always led to the same thing. Determined, I took a big sip of wine and went straight to the small table in the other corner of the kitchen. I needed to create as much space between us as possible to be able to think a bit clearer.

I had left my cigarettes there earlier when I smoked one on the terrace while waiting. Now I took one out of the pack and lit it, leaning against one of the stools.

Steve had strictly forbidden smoking in the house, he didn't like it at all when I did, so I usually smoked secretly behind the shed in the garden. But right now, I didn't care. Steve wasn't here, only Negan, trying to ensnare me in his web once again, as he had done hundreds of times before.

"What's all this about, Negan? Do you need that reassurance to be able to get me into bed?" I asked directly.

Surprised, he looked at me, "Who's talking about me trying to get you into bed? You have quite the wild imagination, that's what I've always loved about you. ... That you were thinking about back then earlier was just an observation, my dear..."

Once again, he came directly towards me. I felt like prey caught in a trap. When he stood in front of me, I automatically spread my legs slightly so he could squeeze between them. I looked up at him, and without breaking eye contact, he took the cigarette from my hand, took a deep drag, and then tossed the rest into the last gulp of his red wine, causing a brief sizzling sound. Only a moment later did he exhale the smoke.

"Damn, you just keep getting more beautiful," he whispered, taking my chin between his fingers.

As often before, I just let it happen. Then he gently stroked my lips with his thumbs, and I tasted his slightly rough skin. It sent little jolts directly to my core, making me nervously shift back and forth on my stool.

"Do you often think about how it feels when I touch you, my sweet? What it's like when my lips explore this perfect body..." he asked in a deep voice, and I could only nod slightly. But then I tried to gather myself again. Gently, but firmly, I pushed his hand away from me and then said, "But it won't happen again, Negan. I can't make the same mistake over and over again..."

[brandyllyn]

Silk from their soul (16)

The Ghoul / Cooper Howard x f!reader [no use of y/n]

Rated: E (slight somno) Words: 800 Summary: New plan

Series Masterlist My Masterlist

This was either the best or worst idea he’d ever had.

She’s asleep in his arms, her body so much cooler than his that it’s a balm to his scorched skin. He should move. Should wipe away the cum he’d stained across her skin before it had a chance to scar her. But the Rad-X and other drugs would protect her for a spell, he was certain, and her natural healing would take care of the rest. And besides, he didn’t want to.

He was perfectly content to lay there, holding a bundle of soft, cool woman in his arms.

It’d been a long time since he last did this - before the bombs fell. A little piece of nothing he’d picked up at a bar the night his divorce was finalized. She’d been nice enough, probably even had a name - not that he’d ever asked. Since then there had been an occasional fuck with someone as scarred as he was, few and far between, but never cuddling. Never laying together and feeling the giggles that made her vibrate against him.

A man could get addicted to that sort of thing.

It was plum near idiotic is what it was.

“You’re a damn fool,” he mutters to himself once he’s certain she can’t hear him. It felt necessary to put the words out there. To acknowledge to himself he knew what was going on.

It needed saying.

In over two hundred years he’d never felt the slightest desire to change his life for someone. To let their wants or needs supersede his own. He’d only had one driving force, find out what happened to Janey and put a bullet in his bitch of an ex-wife. 

Simple. Easy.

But now…

Now he wanted to travel north, find whatever piece of land this crazy girl had her eye on and homestead for a bit. His family had waited this long - what was another fifty, sixty years? He could live a life and then continue on after.

It was a tempting thought, assuming she was amenable. It was one thing to fuck him, another entirely to hitch her wagon to him.

Then again, maybe the fucking was enough. If he kept her happy, kept that silly little blissed out smile on her face and her body shaking from the pleasure he could give her… maybe it would be enough to make her stay.

Maybe it’d even be enough to make him forget.

He skates a hand down her back, feeling the way her skin dips under his fingers. She’s smooth, so unlike him in every way. He cocks an eyebrow when he feels his dick stir. Now that it had woken up from its hundred year slumber it seemed eager to make up for lost time.

Slowly, so as not to wake her, he rolls her to her back. He’d been too fascinated by those soft thighs of hers from the start to give up the opportunity now. He shifts his weight over her, pressing kisses across her shoulders and down between her breasts. He’d made his vow and would abide by it, his lips would never approach hers.

Well, at least not those lips.

Taste is just about all he has left and he savors the moment his tongue flicks out into the slick heat of her. She moans softly, bending her knees and he takes the opportunity to sling them over his shoulders. He presses kisses between her thighs, using his tongue to part her lips so he can flick across her clit.

“Cooper?”

God, he loves hearing his name on those pretty lips.

He rewards her by pressing deeper, digging his fingers into her thighs and sucking at her. She cries out, hands coming down to grasp at his head and he growls. 

“Oh Cooper.”

He’d walk through fire for this woman.

He flips her over even as she’s still shuddering, coming to his knees behind her and settling his cock deep inside the wet heat that calls to him. He’s been watching her ass sway for the better part of a week and he slaps a hand across one cheek just to hear her gasp his name once more.

“That’s it, sweetheart, rock that wet little cunt on me.”

She is, hands fisting into the sheets while she squirms under him. It’s enough to make him throw his head back, dig his fingers into her hips and beg the sweet Lord above for some patience.

Keep her pliant.

Keep her blissed out.

Keep her his.

Just… keep her.

☢ ☢ ☢

For updates follow and turn on notifications for @brandyllyn-writes

[b1tchyboyxd]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚Stalker x Male Reader.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚

Tw: Stalking (obviously)

Warning: this has not been proofread and English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there are errors.

No pronouns are used.

Originally there was supposed to be more, but I had to cut the text in half because of the word limit lol.

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You couldn't get this thought out of your head.

The fake account on Instagram.

At first it seemed harmless enough.

Just a few strange messages here and there, nothing particularly alarming.

But as time went on, the messages became a little more unsettling.

The account seemed to be monitoring your every move.

It sent messages mentioning the coffee shop you had recently visited, the clothing you had worn that day, even the route you had taken to get home.

You tried to brush it off, telling yourself it was just a bored troll or a mistaken stranger.

But as the messages continued, the feeling that someone was watching every move you made grew more and more persistent.

And then the messages took a darker turn.

The account started sending you photos - pictures of places you had been, people you had seen - with the message "I see you."

You felt your stomach drop as you stared at the photos.

It was clear now that whoever was behind this was not just a harmless prankster.

They were someone who was obsessively watching and tracking your every move.

You tried to think of anyone in your life who could possibly be behind this.

Ex-lovers, enemies, even acquaintances came to mind.

But no one seemed to fit the bill.

The more you thought about it, the more panicked you felt.

The idea that someone was stalking you was terrifying, but what was even more unsettling was the feeling of helplessness it gave you.

No matter how much you tried to stay vigilant, it seemed like the account was always ahead of you.

You considered reporting it to the authorities, but something held you back.

Maybe it was the fear that you wouldn’t be taken seriously, or the idea that involving the police could just make things worse.

You debated blocking the account, but something inside you kept you from doing it.

It was as if a part of you was drawn to it, like a twisted form of fascination with the danger it represented.

You started to notice strange things happening around you.

Maybe it was just coincidence, but it felt like the stalker was leaving you subtle reminders of their presence.

A random flower left on your doorstep, a faint smell of cologne in your apartment that you couldn't explain...You tried to laugh it off, telling yourself you were being paranoid.

But the more it happened, the more it felt like the stalker was toying with you, enjoying the fear and uncertainty they were instilling in you.You even started to feel a strange thrill mixed in with the fear. It was as if the stalker's attention was a form of validation, as if you craved their gaze on you.

The thought disturbed you, but you couldn't deny its presence in your mind.

The stalker's obsession with you seemed almost intimate, as if they had a deep understanding of your fears and desires.

You couldn't shake the feeling that they were playing you like a puppet, feeding off your mounting paranoia and fear.

The messages started to take on a different tone, becoming more suggestive and possessive.

The stalker seemed to relish the power they had over you, the way they could make you jump at the sound of a notification on your phone.

You couldn't help but feel a strange sense of connection to the stalker.

They knew things about you that no one else did. They saw through your carefully constructed facade and laid bare the raw, vulnerable parts of your soul.

Despite the fear and paranoia, there was a small part of you that was almost flattered by their attention.

It was as if the stalker had singled you out, making you feel special and desired in the most disturbing of ways.

You tried to fight these thoughts, but they insisted on lingering in the back of your mind.

The stalker's words had burrowed deep into your psyche, leaving you questioning your own feelings and reactions.

You began to notice patterns in the stalker's behavior.

They seemed to know exactly when to send a message to keep you on edge, to feed your paranoia and fear. It was as if they had a sixth sense for your weakest moments, and took pleasure in exploiting them..

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Part 2?

[aihoshiino]

i wonder how different the story would have gone if, instead of sending ryosuke, kamiki would have visited ai on his own.

the part of me that needs them to be happy says that while he isn't necessarily enamored with the twins at first, he still tries to his best with them. maybe they think he's their new babysitter at first, that'd be funny.

anyways, kamiki awkwardly co-parenting with ai and both of them fumbling through being exes and parents and still caring so deeply for eachother but also being too traumatized to properly communicate.

aqua and ruby are first hostile when they realize that this is the man that got ai pregante™, and then they become the twos biggest shippers. cue incredibly convoluted attempts to get them together again. (i feel that it is important to point out that they're still toddlers at that time, which would make this extra funny)

So the thing about HKAI and the mess that was their relationship is that Hikaru sending Ryosuke in his place is ultimately a symptom, not a cause. It is a consequence of his arrested development in regards to Ai and his inability to conceive of a world where the two of them exist separate of their relationship. To a degree, asking 'could Hikaru and Ai be happy if he didn't send Ryosuke' is kind of asking for Hikaru to be a different character, because at the place he's at at the moment he makes that decision, he can't not make that choice. I've described Ai's tragedy in the past as being simultaneously preventable and unavoidable and the same goes for Hikaru. It's like a fucked up reverse Oroborous - in order to create the conditions for him to be a happier and healthier person, he must already have started taking the steps towards becoming that person - or at least to be further down the road than he is at the equivalent point in canon.

Even if we remove Ryosuke from the picture, I can't really imagine things going that well. I kind of touched on it in a previous ask but even the one-sided conversation we hear that seals Ai's fate raises a lot of red flags for me. He leaps to assuming that Ai is trying to get back together with him and when gently turned down romantically but still offered an opening back into her life as the father of her children, he chooses to betray her trust and send someone to terrorize and potentially hurt Ai and their children so she could 'feel his despair'. Even if we believe his insistence that he really didn't think Ryosuke would kill her, this is still an utterly reprehensible thing to do. It implies a level of not just desire but outright entitlement - that he feels he has the right to 'punish' Ai for… what? Not wanting to rush back into a relationship with him after like, five years of minimal-to-no contact? When he's gone right ahead and proved that the issues that caused their breakup have not been resolved?

Obviously, this is not to say that Hikaru doesn't sincerely love Ai with all his heart or that he doesn't care for her at all. I actually think that contradiction between his clearly observable feelings for her and the actions he nevertheless chooses to take is really fascinating in what it adds to him as a character. A big part of the reason why Hikaru's so fucked up is because he's so deeply in love with Ai and so utterly unable to cultivate a nuanced or healthy relationship with his idea of her.

So… I guess if I'm honest, my vision of it is more Hikaru using visiting the twins as a way of leveraging his way back into Ai's life, successfully or otherwise. I don't really see a scenario where Hikaru is able to work out his shit and become a decent father or partner for Ai, just because too many of his issues are tangled up in this longed-for codependence with her. Maybe this older and wiser Ai could find a way to save him like she wished for, but… is it really fair to put that weight on her shoulders? Why should she, a person with her own desperate struggles and lack of support, go right back to performing the backbreaking emotional labor that contributed to that all-consuming codependence in the first place?

To be clear, I'm saying this as a proud HikaAi shipper who loves a fucked up life-warping codependent romance, but in the context of Oshi no Ko and when we're talking about what would actually make these characters happy, I think Hikaru and Ai, at the place they are at the time of the tragedy, are not in a position to make each other truly fulfilled and happy.

askslmdslkdlsmdsl i'm so sorry anon you sent me such a cute prompt and got this utterly harrowing essay in response 😭 I'M SORRY THAT'S JUST HOW IT CAME OUT

[captainsophiestark]

Weirdest Day Ever

Daisy Johnson x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2023!

Fandom: Marvel

Day 12 Prompt: "I'm not saying I didn't like it."

Summary: Daisy and Y/N broke up a long time ago rather than attempting long distance. Now, with a nudge from a terrigen crystal, the very thing that tore them apart might bring them back together.

Word Count: 1,694

Category: Angst, Fluff

Requested by @trekkingaroundasgard! Thanks for the request Nicola, and I hope you like it!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

The weirdest day of my life, to date, was the day I saw my ex-girlfriend on the news three times in the course of twenty-four hours, as a new superhero working for SHIELD. And until I bit into a takeout sushi roll from my favorite restaurant, I thought nothing could beat it for the number one spot.

Then I'd started transforming.

Inhumans and inhuman transformations had been in the news once or twice lately (at least one of my ex's appearances had been in connection with it), but I hadn't really thought much of it. I'd certainly never imagined I might be one of them, a latent alien gene just waiting in my genetic code. But as a chrysalis started to form around me, fear took over, and I knew what came next.

I didn't know how much time passed for me while I was totally crystalized, but when I came out of it, I collapsed in a heap on the floor. It had felt like floating, through time and space, with no anchor. My body was exhausted and a little sore, and my head hurt. I looked around, finally glancing at a clock to see about four hours had passed.

What the hell was I supposed to do now? Seriously, what did somebody do after a transformation like that? What was the normal reaction?

Slowly, I got to my feet, waiting for some crazy, obvious sign of my change. I walked to a mirror on unsteady feet to find that I looked the same as before, if a little shakier than when I'd been trying to enjoy my favorite food for lunch in peace.

I frowned down at my hands, experimentally shaking one out in front of me to see if anything happened. When it didn't, I flared my hand out, fingers spread wide.

That's when the new weirdest day of my life really kicked off.

A bright purple forcefield bubble appeared around my hand, growing rapidly in size the longer I left my hand extended. I watched it in fascination, until I heard a crashing sound behind me and whipped around to find the door of my apartment busted open. A dozen people in military tactical gear broke through the door, headed right for me.

Reflexively, I flung my hands up in front of my face. With my new powers, the forcefield responded, exploding in a circle around me and knocking the strangers backwards and off their feet. My sushi clattered to the ground, and I leapt over it as I raced past the stunned soldiers and through the door.

I heard shouts from behind me followed shortly by thundering footsteps. My pulse roared in my ears, beating a million miles an hour as I burst into the stairwell and ran down as fast as possible. I had no idea what my plan was, other than 'get away', which felt like a decent first step.

I barreled through the lobby of my apartment building and into the street, the people chasing me not far behind. I staggered a little, unsteady on my feet, more tired than I'd normally be thanks to the use of my new powers. I glanced over my shoulder, then flung my hands up to defend myself again as shots—hopefully nonlethal—fired at me. They bounced off my forcefield, but each hit still felt like a punch in the gut with the effort it took to deflect.

I screamed, flinging my arms out harder and farther away from me, sending another wave of purple force pushing my attackers back. It nearly knocked me to the ground, too, but I managed to stay on my feet and keep running.

I staggered around a corner and into an alleyway, hoping to lose them by going off the beaten path. I realized after a few steps, however, that I'd also just walked into a dead end. I turned around to go back the way I'd come, only to have my exit blocked by the soldier-looking people.

I stumbled backwards, almost tripping over my own two feet and going down. I managed to catch myself at the last second, heart pounding as my attackers advanced. I flung my hands out, but even the smallest forcefield had me seeing spots now.

I was trapped. No way out. And then, my day doubled down on the weirdness.

Like a fever-induced hallucination, my ex-girlfriend Daisy Johnson, formerly known as Skye, landed in front of me in a full superhero pose. She stared down my attackers, who hesitated at the sight of her, long enough for her to level a blast of her own superpower and send them flying backwards. She turned to me with a grin, and when I swayed a little on my feet this time it wasn't just because I was dizzy.

"Hey. Long time no see," said Daisy. She started walking towards me and I just watched her, still not totally convinced this wasn't a dream.

We'd only broken up because she was taking off with SHIELD, and I was moving across the country for work. We'd decided long distance with spies probably wasn't a good idea. To have her magically reappear in my life, right when some crazy latent superpower had been awakened in me... it felt too good to be true.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

I shook my head as Daisy reached me, putting her hands on my arms and gently squeezing to try to ground me back to reality. It didn't really work.

"It's okay," she said, glancing over my shoulder before stepping even closer to me. "It's gonna be okay, I promise. We're gonna get you out of here."

I nodded. Despite not seeing Daisy for the past few years, I trusted her. I knew she'd get me out of here, that I could feel safe with her. As a result, the adrenaline quickly faded, and my light-headed exhaustion only got worse.

"It's... good to see you again," I muttered, giving Daisy the best smile I could muster. She returned with a confused frown, and I thought I saw her mouth my name, but the sound didn't make it past the encroaching blackness. The next thing I knew, I was toppling towards Daisy, the rest of the world completely slipping away.

****************

When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was the splitting pain in my head. I frowned before I even opened my eyes, memories of the events right before I blacked out only making my headache worse. I heard a snort, and my eyes flew open.

Daisy. Sitting on the edge of the bed I was laying in, looking at me with a fond smile. She'd swooped back in to save my life, and she looked absolutely fantastic doing it.

"Out of all the reactions of Inhumans we've saved, scowling before even waking all the way up might be my favorite," she said, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. I sat up, my heart racing faster at the sight of her.

"You... saved me," I breathed. She nodded a little, her worried eyes scanning me from head to toe.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner."

"No, Daisy, oh my gosh," I scooted forward, unable to resist the pull towards her. After everything that had happened, to have her suddenly back in my life after I'd literally been attacked? I didn't want to waste another minute without her. "You saved me. You came at the perfect time, please don't apologize. I- I'm so happy to see you again."

She smiled at me, the small, soft smile that had been reserved just for me for so long when we were together, and I found myself leaning forward, pulled towards Daisy by some gravitational force. I brought my hand up to the back of her head, tangling it in her hair as I kissed her softly, every happy moment from our lives together rushing back. After a second, she pulled away, a rueful look on her face.

"Y/N-"

"Oh my God. Daisy, I am so, SO sorry. I wasn't thinking, I shouldn't have just kissed you like that, I-"

"Whoa." She held up a hand, stopping me in my tracks before I could really get rolling and rambling. I stared at her with wide eyes, and she gently took one of my hands in hers before giving me a soft smile. "It's okay. I missed you too, and when you kissed me... well, I'm not saying I didn't like it. But we haven't seen each other in a while, and you just survived a really, really big trauma that's gonna take some time to process. I think it might be a good idea if we take things a little slower."

I nodded, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Yeah... yeah, you're probably right. But Daisy? I do still want to head that way, if you do, of course. You know, back towards... something like what we had before."

She sighed. "I want that. For sure, I want that. But maybe you should take a little more time to process, make sure it's actually something you want and not just the delayed adrenaline dump or something-"

"Daisy." I shifted a little on the bed, taking my turn to stop her worry train before it got rolling, taking both her hands more firmly in mine. "Honestly, while forcefields will probably be a sick power, this whole experience has completely sucked. Every single minute of it... except for the fact that it's brought me back to you. So... if you're sure, I'm sure."

A smile steadily grew on Daisy's face, mirrored on my own until we were positively beaming at each other. SHIELD had been the thing to tear us apart, but now, it had brought us back together. There was some interesting kind of poetry to that, but I didn't care enough to analyze it. All that mattered to me was that Daisy and I would be side by side, working through all the weirdness together, today and for every new weirdest day that was sure to come our way in the future.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @luv-ghostie @songbirdcannabe

[sharuruwrites]

Pretender

Goodbye. I am not your soulmate.

It’s heart-breaking, but I can’t deny reality,

Still, leaving your side is so hard.

-Pretender by Official Hige Dandism

Tags: Dazai x Fem!Reader, Dazai cranks up his self-loathing to a 100, hurt, break-up, angst, Dazai longing, before the events of entrance exam and after events of Port Mafia, Unedited

Disclaimer: I don't own BSD.

Masterlist

-------------------------

It was a silent morning in your apartment when Dazai uttered this words to you, his girlfriend of two years.

“Let’s break-up.”

Despite the indifferent tone in his voice, your expression didn't change as you silently drank your tea. Were you too shocked to process this information? Or, perhaps you knew you'll be parting ways with him?

You gently placed the cup down on the tea saucer, before meeting your soon-to-be ex's gaze. "If you truly want me to bawl my eyes out, you shouldn't have warned me in the first place, Osamu."

Before fate pushed you two to meet, Dazai recently passed his entrance exam as the new detective for the agency, and to celebrate his success, he chose to go to Lupin. And at that bar, you were there, drinking by yourself. After few exchange of glasses and, he found himself fascinated with you.

“Wanna go out?”‌ You asked, lazily tracing the lid of your glass. "I'm serious about it."

Dazai looked down at his alcoholic beverage. He didn't know you well enough for him to warrant to have a relationship with you, but neither do you. If he pursued this relationship, maybe you would help him understand more about humanity.

“Sure,”‌ Dazai smirked. “Although I agree to it, I just want to give you a heads up that our relationship will be short lived and one-sided.”

True to his words, he had the front row seats of his love story turning into a one-man show ran by you. What he didn’t expect, you stood by his side for the past two years. He couldn't pinpoint on what made you stay, but he liked to think that it had something to do with his love for dramatic flair. Afterall, you were just there whenever he needed someone to lean on. You never failed him. Because of it, he learned how to fall for you.

Except, him on the other hand, he lost count on the many times he knew you're disappointed on him. At first, he thought of many ways he could make up for it by showering you with gifts and affections. However, the moment you nursed him back to health from the annual flu, it became clear to him that you were never meant to be his.

Dazai Osamu was never gonna be your soulmate, because of how selfless you were. Perhaps, for the first time in his life, he feared the concept of 'us' between you and him, especially with his dark past and his line of work. He rather have you be well and alive, instead of fearing the possibility of you dying for him.

It was a strange idea for him to come into terms with it which it took him another 365 days to accept it. He always yearned to die with a beautiful lady like you next to him, but, his love for you wished that it wasn't you.

“I'm sorry, love.”‌

Like always, his apologies were devoid of life and meaningless. You never flinched away or got mad at him for it. It made him wonder why you're indifferent with his aloofness. Maybe you're aware of his shortcomings, or your too blinded by your love for him.

"What's there to apologize for?" You got up from your seat, before grabbing your used dishware. "It was nice while it lasted."

After what it felt like an eternity, he had to go and get ready for his mission in the afternoon. He left your spare keys to your apartment at the coffee table, and you assured him that you would drop his stuff at his place later in the day. All that's left of him was to open the door in front of him and leave.

But, his feet was cemented on the carpet floor like it was telling him not to leave. He already accepted the reality it wasn't you on his side at the end, but why does his heart kept trying to deny the truth?

“Osamu?" He looked behind, and saw you tilted your head to the side. "What's wrong?"

Dazai gently cupped your cheek with his hand, and his thumb brushed against your skin. He noticed three things immediately that brought a small smile to his lips. Your eyes were getting watery and red. Your temperature was unexpectedly hot. Lastly, the sudden stillness of your breath as if you have forgotten how to breathe after he touched your face.

A question popped in his head. Were you putting that strong facade for the both of you?‌ Or, to convinced yourself not to look pathetic in his goodbye?

Your warmth, your laughter, and the sound of his name from your voice, he wanted all of them ingrained it into his memory. He knew he’s a selfish and cruel man who loathe life itself, but…for once in his life, he wished he could change.

And, If he had the power to choose a life line, he would choose a different version of himself with a different set of personality and morals. Yet, it made him wonder if you still love him despite him being an entirely new person. He wished he could say 'I love you' to you without any repercussions.

But, his wishes and playing around the scenarios of what-if's were all in vain as you were another chapter in his life that he needed to move on from.

“I don’t…want to forget you that’s all…” Dazai took a deep breath before he smiled bittersweetly at you. "You're still beautiful that it made me left breatheless."

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

How the bachelorettes will play the The Sims 3:

Haley:

Will spend 2 hours to create the perfect design for her sim's clothes.

Cheat code for a huge amount of money.

The richest house, the best cars, the biggest TV, etc.

Favorite expansion packs: Late night, Showtime and Island Paradise.

Goes to expensive bars and places to get interesting moodlets. Only the best and expensive thing!

Got "heartbreaker" lifetime's wish the very first in her game.

Of course, she's a popular super star! Admittedly, she constantly has to fight back her good name when her sim is publicly reviled. Oh, that popularity!

Maxed out the photographer's and serfing skill set.

Decided to try to learn a new skills in game. Her sim died in a fire the first time she tried to make macaroni and cheese.

Penny:

Another interesting thing that helps her escape from reality (besides books).

Never uses cheat codes, trying to achieve everything herself.

Favorite expansion packs: Generation and Seasons.

Creates the perfect modest newlywed couple. One of the sims is her exact copy and the other is her dream spouse.

At first was upset that her sim had many failed attempts at cooking (too close to reality). Eventually pumped the skill to the max.

Gave her sim a career in school.

Mini heart attack every time a thief or ghost showed up at her sim's house.

Goes into the build menu just to listen to music.

Created as many children as the game allowed. Happy big family!

Emily:

She spent twice as much time designing her sim's hair and clothes as her sister.

Inspired after the game, went to my sewing machine to recreate the clothes in reality.

Love all the expansion, but her favorite is Ambition. Because a career as a Stylist! Also pets, because parrot!

Her sim knows every skill in the game bit by bit.

She'll be picking up every stray animal.

Stopped doing that when one of the stray cat ate her parrot.

Was upset that unlike cats and dogs, she can't put a grave for a parrot.

Collects various gems and collects them in the Sim's house. Gems everywhere!

Abigail:

She thought it was a boring game, but when she found out you could create a sim as a ghost! Or a vampire! Or a werewolf, or a witch? She could become an adventurer? Awesome!

Favorite expansions are World Adventures and Supernatural.

Uses the occasional $1000 dollar cheat code to buy a ticket to another country.

Sim's personal life? No time for that, she has adventures waiting for her in Egypt!

Pumping skill sports to fight with the mummy.

No money for food? Time to look for breakfast in the trash cans!

Enjoys getting interesting moodlets, no matter positive or negative.

Created the sim as a witch and practiced magic during the adventure.

Making stinky potion? Absolutely yes 😈

Often saved to watch a sim die from a trap in adventures or from other things.

Leah:

She is more interested in the architecture and design of the house than the game itself.

Uses money cheats to buy the necessary items to create the perfect cottage house.

However, she does not use cheats during the game itself. She enjoys creating the perfect house on a small budget.

Favorite expansions are Seasons, University Life, and Career.

The first expansion is for fall aesthetics 🤌 the other two are for pumping up her artist and sculptor skills.

A nemesis with a neighbor who strongly resembles her ex in personality.

Often sits in the city editor (like, almost 90% of her time), redesigning other sims' homes.

Her sim visits countries just to paint beautiful landscape and buy a bottle of "juice".

Also, the gardening skill is half developed.

Her sim was eaten by a carnivorous cow flower. And she didn't even keep the design of the town! Eh, need to start all over again...

Maru:

Doesn't spend a lot of time creating a sim.

Of course they have the Inventor character, how could they not.

Favorite expansions packs are Ambition and Into the Future.

So many ideas in the game for her new inventions... A jetpack? Why not.

Fascinated by the quest to change the future into Utopia or Dystopia.

Science, invention and robot building skills are maxed out.

Used a cheat code for 1000 dollars just once to buy junk for inventions.

Made a sim Sebastian, so that at least in the game in them were good family relationships...

Synthesized food?! Now that's interesting!

Her Sims often died from burns and electrocution.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Sorry if I ended up spamming your notifs but I looked through your dashboard cuz of that Fukuzawa post- how he could feel the bond snapping if the people he consider his subordinates died, and... never in my life have I considered that bond could've applied to Fukuchi when the guy left---

(But then it crossed my mind as I write this that idk if it's fortunate or devastating for Fukuzawa if something life-threatening happened to Ranpo because Ranpo doesn't have an ability that bonded with All Men Are Equal.)

Anyways, I love your post about Atsushi being in the mafia as part of the exchange cuz I love seeing Mori suffer.

I always define Atsushi as "light in the darkness" because in Beast, that's how he was for Kyouka (he'll always be her light).

Sorry for rambling, I should've sent you this as a message but idk if you'd feel comfy about some random acc popping in your inbox.

First off, ramble away.

I love having discussions and stuff about the stuff I talk about.

You're good, I don't mind. If you or someone else was spamming my inbox, I'd let ya know.

I do generally prefer people message me thro the asks, especially if I don't know you.

That aside and onto ur message.

I just can't get over that line of Fukuzawa saying he'd know if Kunikida had died.

That in some way he would've felt it. And I see it as a connection, as an almost physical bond between them that would've been cut.

And the idea of his connection with Fukuchi breaking. What was possibly one of the oldest connections Fukuzawa had, dissolving over time.

Fukuzawa trying to hold onto it because he still sees him as his friend. But it's broken and there's nothing he can do to get it back.

And it being so sad because Fukuzawa is used to these bonds breaking at death, but Fukuchi was lost to him long before he died.

I didn't think about Ranpo.

I think Fukuzawa sees it as both a blessing and a curse that he can't feel if Ranpo is okay.

But it's a testament to their bond that it isn't required. They trust each other so much, that it's like a sixth sense for Fukuzawa to know what Ranpo's up too.

While also knowing that if he wasn't grey before he met Ranpo, he would've definitely gone grey after meeting him.

Agreed.

Atsushi is the beast beneath the moonlight. He is the literal light in the darkness.

The idea of Kyouka envisioning the light with Atsushi as a apart of that, is gonna make me cry I love them both.

Atsushi in the Port Mafia to me is Mori being like I'm gonna corrupt you and Atsushi's like power of friendship motherfucker.

Atsushi won't go to therapy but you bet your ass he's giving everyone in the Port Mafia therapy.

Atsushi met Mori as werid ex doctor who gave him good but advice once. I think he'd be a bit... Skeptical this man is the head of the Port Mafia.

I think he'd listen to him but would think through and use that advice while following his own morals.

Like he did before.

Which is infuriating and fascinating to Mori because clearly Atsushi gets where he's coming from... He just won't do it.

Quite a juxtaposition from everyone else in the Port Mafia follows Mori without question.

But Atsushi does not.

I love the idea of his interactions with Mori are him being mostly maliciously compliant.

Like he's not outright doing something wrong but he's still pissing him off.

Something Dazai and Kunikida would've definitely taught him.

Like Mori's going on a whole spiel and Atsushi is just colouring on the floor with Elise paying him no attention.

And Mori can't say anything because Elise is so happy so he's just silently seething.

That whole Anne's Room episode and seeing these two interact for the first time, with Atsushi not knowing Mori's identity

Is just so intresting to me. More interactions between them is something I want.

That and I'd be curious to see if there was any information to do with the Port Mafia getting the bounty for Atsushi from the Guild and Fyodor.

Because yeah it could've just been for the reward, but was there more to it than that?

Or if the Headmaster had connections to the Port Mafia.

Because however small it may be, the Headmaster still made contact with the Port Mafia to sell a gun.

He's not from the area, but somehow arranged a meeting with them.

And in my opinion died very suspiciously.

I mean I personally hc that the injections the Headmaster was giving Atsushi were obtained from Mori when he was an underground doctor.

Whether that's true or not, idk but it would be intresting if Mori knew more about Atsushi than we realise.

But yeah that's just some of my thoughts.

[habeascorpseus]

when i was in 7th grade, i had my first boyfriend. corny shit, i know. in many cases i dont think middle school relationships are enough to be classified as dating- but to this day, i do firmly believe our clumsy attempts at recreating the behavior of couples barely older than us did count. there was an emotional connection there. we had met in 6th grade and bonded over fnaf and minecraft 3 animations and all those other things that people still found found entertaining in 2014.

another notable thing in 7th grade that happened was that i had discovered i was transgender. well, i say "discovered", but it was honestly a long time coming. between my obsession with being seen as a "tomboy," my favorite song on the Kidz Bop 16 CD being Beyonce's "If I Were A Boy" (but sung in a way to make it so much less about cheating that it really became more of a call to action to imagine life as a man) to the point where i manually would loop it on my cd player for hours, and my growing love for mlm shipping— i had been a certified egg since i was in 4th grade. but despite being raised around and parented with about a dozen lesbian and gay couples since birth, i didnt know whether or not my parents were transphobic or not. so, after looking through a list of trans identities, i decided to just come out as genderfluid to my parents as sort of a compromise to the intimidating rigidity of being a trans boy. and even though it wasn't entirely fitting to what i'd ultimately figure out about myself, i grew pretty attached to it.

back to the middle school boyfriend.

at the end of 7th grade— like, a week before summer vacation— i publically came out as genderfluid. while my ex, who i will from now on refer to as Lou, had initially taken it well, albeit with some confusion, over the summer, a much different series of feelings began unfolding. unfortunately, as middle school boys are wont to do whenever one of them begins to act even slightly against the norm, his friends began asking him if he was gay. "if michael¹ is a boy sometimes, does that make you straight, or bisexual?" are some of the things i later heard them ask. and since i, phoneless till the age of 16, was unable to talk to him throughout this relentless picking apart of his own identity, by the time we got back to school, things were... different.

¹ Michael is the name i went by irl for 3 years from 7th-9th grade.

for one, there were the jokes. he was a big leafy fan (and i really did try even back then to steer him away from that but its hard when youre a cringe nerd middle schooler) and back then "attack helicopter" jokes were kind of all the rage, so he began jokingly identifying as a toaster. then he made a toaster mask out of a cardboard box, spray paint, and duct tape that he brought to school and began putting on whenever i walked by him in the hallway. and then, and possibly worst of all- a simple html website shared between his friends called "what gender is Michael today?" which lead to a random generator of options like, "boy", "girl", "toaster", and "attack helicopter." all of which is kind of a lot to deal with when youre a middle schooler with a pretty rough time of it already, and suddenly your main bully is the guy youve effectively been in a relationship with for 6 months.

and now you may be asking: hey habeas, why this sudden autobiographical deep dive into the most traumatic period of your life? what spawned this? how is this story relevant to literally anything going on? well, that's where the next part of the story comes in.

that year, our sex ed teacher was a 5ft transgender man named Mudd. Mudd had a buzzcut, and a higher pitched voice, and small hands, but beyond all of that, there was nothing visibly different about him than any other boy or man in the school. in fact, the boys thought he was cool as hell. they were fascinated by the idea of transformation of the self into an unrecognizable body. they never misgendered him, even after learning his status as a trans man. in fact, they were comfortable enough around him to be transphobic towards me. and Mudd, like a good trans mentor, told them to cut that shit out, and told me that regardless of how complicated and occasionally contradictory my identity was, it was still me, and i needed to stand up for who i was as a person.

a week later, Lou called me a tranny, and in response, i punched him in the nose and promptly stopped talking to him.

so again, why is this relevant? well, I'm not sure how terminally online (or specifically, on twitter) some of you are, but recently there's been a bit of a tiff in a certain fandom about bi lesbianism. specifically, how it, as an identity, is harmful to both the bisexual and lesbian communities. which, one: nooooo....??? bisexuality and lesbianism arent separate so much fraternal twins, and I've already talked too much to include further definitions to prove it. but my argument is really less about its validity as an identity and more about the principle of there being limits to acceptance, even within our community.

like with my experience, people were fine when they were faced with binary identities. a trans man like mudd is cool, or a trans girl like Jazz Jennings (we watched a lot of I Am Jazz in homeroom) could be seen as normal, and more so, inspiring. but when i came in with an identity people found to be contradictory or "too confusing," it resulted in backlash. the entire definition of being "queer" is to be abnormal to what general society finds acceptable, and even then, some things are "too weird" to be tolerated. even amongst "weird" people. which i find to be a pretty troubling trend amongst queer leftist young people who's only real experience with an "lgbt community" has been online. here, we prioritize and find catharsis in labels and categories to the point where the "queer community" has become instead split between identities- the gays, the lesbians, the bis, the transes, the aros and aces and the whatnot. in the real world, it doesnt matter what flavor of queer you are, nobody's going to stop and ask before they call you a groomer and then legislate your freedom away. which is why we, as an online queer community, have to get rid of the notion that some identities are "too contradictory" or "dont exist" enough to be worth giving support and love.

im saying all this here... because, well, one: nobody wants to read a 40+ tweet thread about my personal brush with irl homophobia and how that radicalized me against community separation in general, and two: i am deeply afraid of 14 year olds on twitter with too much time on their hands. but also im saying this because it was infuriating yesterday to watch my entire twitter feed suddenly turn into a puritanical campaign against the very concept of someones identity and have the ability to say nothing. it disgusted me how quickly we turn against our own simply because the way they are is confusing to our tiny fucking peanut brains. and i know none of those people who went on that tirade will read this, but i felt like it needed to be said anyways.

don't let society's impulse to ostracize the confusing and strange win out over human decency. don't do conservatives' strategy to divide and conquer us for them. a person's identity not being comprehensible to you is not inherently an attack on who you, yourself, are. you are your identity and you should stand up for it, and you should stand up for others' identities too. punch your bullies in the nose.

long live the confusing, the contradictory, and most importantly, the queer.

[panoffrying]

okok so ummmmm ,,, this took me a while to write down bc i fucking SUCK at writing down my thoughts in actually coherent ways so i hope this all makes sense:

i think sozo's sorta the black sheep where he comes from . a lot of stuff abt ants is usually abt how BRUTAL they are toward other ant colonies , literally ripping each other apart an kidnapping babies n shit . so i think sozo's colony was sort of like that—very warrior-oriented with not much space for anything else . then there was sozo , who didn't have Any interest in fighting or anything to do with battle , instead WAY more interested in fungi an stuff

in his colony (and in others) fungi r generally treated as life-threatening pests , since EVERY ant ever knows tha horrifying tale of cordyceps an how they'll rip apart a colony from tha inside out n whatnot . most of sozo's colony just thinks his fascination with fungi is simply a childhood phase , that he'll get over it n realize how dangerous they are , but he doesn't because it's NOT A PHASE , MOM !!!!!!!! he wants to be a MYCOLOGIST , not a WARRIOR !!!!!!

(his colony is also in silk cradle . i forgot to mention that so i'm putting that here)

so sozo ends up leaving his home as a young adult after growing up as a social outcast , wanting to pursue his own dreams instead of just listening to whatever his queen wanted . he eventually Does become a mycologist an one day , ends up at shamura's grand temple to add his knowledge of fungi to their great library , which is when they first officially meet each other . at first it's a fairly generic follower meeting his god type thing , but after a while of talking their conversations slowly get more casual an they begin regarding each other as friends , an then eventually Close friends . maybe they could've become more if sozo hadn't gone off to anura , discovered those mushroomos, and ,,, well . you know what happens to him .

eventually shamura forgets about sozo (since this all takes place After narinder's betrayal) but they occasionally get a strange , yearning feeling ,,, like someone used to come to them everyday to talk about ,,, something. they can't quite remember what , though ...

it's only after the lamb takes over , when shamura is indoctrinated and sozo gets brought back from the dead (then promptly goes through rehab) that they meet again . shamura doesn't quite recall sozo an he only vaguely remembers them , but they still like to hang out together , especially as shamura's head injury slowly stabilizes into something more manageable for them . shamura likes to hear him talk abt his studies , and sozo likes having an attentive audience . they're really good friends who also maybe wanna kiss (but shamura isn't willing to unpack THOSE emotions yet bc they have weird feelings abt romantic relationships after that whole fiasco with their ex a few millennia ago but sssshhhhhh)

anyway that's abt it :3 i'm just realizing it kinda dipped into sozura toward the end there but ehhhhh that's still TECHNICALLY a sozo headcanon if u squint so

SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS MY LIFE GOT A BIT CHAOTIC BUT YOOOOOOOOO OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH EEEEEEE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!

It’s very different from other sozo headcanons and I like that a lot. I like to imagine for your headcanons sozonius is literally like hiccup from how to train your dragon lmao. To be fair he might know some self defense based on how he was raised.

I like the idea that sozonius colony was in silk cradle in which I have it in my headcanons that after Narinders banishment silk cradle becomes the most dangerous land of war, just killing without thinking. God bless Sozonius for making it through their bro💀🙏

AND YOU KNOW ME IM ALWAYS A SUCKER FOR THAT SOZURA FOOD. I really like the idea of sozonius meeting Shamura before sozonius went to Anura. THE BUGS ARE BESTIES a bishop and a mortal ant.

Bro my heart of thinking of Shamura remembering sozo in random moments and wondering where he is, then having to be explained to that Sozonius went missing years ago, before forgetting him again AGH MY SOUL!!! THE POTENTIAL HERE

I ADORE THIS SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME ABOUT YOUR HEADCANONS! Seeing this stuff inspires me and I love being able to interact with yall💜

[matthiastalksalot]

what is being aromantic? what is being asexual?

an anecdotal explanation about what being aroace means to me. part 2. technically. both can be standalone. but you should read part one because i enjoy being a chatterbox.

this is not proofread.

so. i finally figure out that i am asexual. yipeee! once the sex aspect is out of the way, i can finally persue relationships without any expectations of sex, right? wrong.

i have a long and not too complicated dating history, featuring many e-relationships and two week infatuations.

going back to the early days of fifth grade. i attended a catholic school, and everyone was starting to reach the age where crushes are a new and fascinating occurrence. of course, i don’t know how many ten year olds had true crushes, but they CERTAINLY said they did.

and so, naturally, i needed one too. i picked a boy in my class, joesph, and told my classmates when i was asked. i did not know him well, and he knew i had this ���crush” on him, but he didn’t like me and i never actually asked him out, so that was that.

i got my first boyfriend the summer before 7th grade. we attended a jewish sleep away camp, and were part of the same group for leading our unit’s shabbat service. we had the same hairstyle, the only difference being that the top of his hair was dyed red, the top of mine was dyed blue.

this was a preppy camp. we stood out, and thus our relationship was born. a girl approached me and asked if i would date “brendan”. i did not know who brendan was, we met two days before. she described him as “the boy with the red hair”.

it was middle school, and so i said yes. a day later, he asked me out. we dated for that summer until the next one.

the relationship was incredibly 7th grade of us. we hugged, had a pre-planned “kiss” under the fireworks on the last night of the camp session. it was gross, but short. i could now say i had had my first kiss.

he broke up with me due to bullying the next summer, but then after two days of drama, we started dating again. we broke up for good around december or january of 8th grade, over text. he wasn’t going to camp next summer, so we would not see each other again without planning it.

during our first break-up, i was upset, but mostly because i was insulted by the reason behind it. i did not have any strong feeling about break up #2.

i had more relationships between the end of 8th grade and my senior year of high school, but that would be the fastest way to send you all to sleep.

and so. i take you to my two most recent relationships. May 2022 - August 2022, and April 2023 - May 2023

the first one was a girl from a community theater show i was doing. she was snow white, and i was her prince. we became fast friends, and ended up dating. we were together for months, talked daily. we hugged, and sat in bed, holding each other while watching movies. we did not kiss. we did not even attempt to initiate anything more than hand holding.

she broke up with me in august. i was upset at the prospect of us not being together, but the only thing i remember thinking was “there is nothing we did that we cannot do as friends”. of course, it is difficult to rebound from dating, especially long distance as we were. we ended on good terms, but no longer speak to each other.

after her was my ex from the last post. we began dating after months of infatuation. he broke up with a girl for me, i magically made the “crush” that i thought i had on my best friend vanish the second i realized that he may actually show any form of interest in me.

eventually, that too ended. i enjoyed the hugging, cuddling, and closeness. i hated kissing, and the expectations of what i was supposed to be feeling within the relationship.

i did not immediately begin identifying as aromatic, but this is when i first began to entertain the idea.

life went on.

i started college, and met many amazing friends. as is usual for first semester freshman year, people began to get in relationships, and the whole question of “should i try for one?” comes up.

i decided against it, as none of my friends were romantic candidates for me. i know, i know. it’s weird to think of people that way. however, that’s how almost every other relationship i’ve had started.

we became fast friends, and happened to have compatible genders/sexualities to date. and so we did.

it started to dawn on me: what was the difference between my romantic partners and my close friends? the two largest factors are the duration of time we were close, and the amount of physical contact we had with each other.

in my prior romantic relationships, we became close quickly, or became much closer as we started to enter the “talking stage”. the longest i’ve known someone before getting into a relationship with them was a year and a half, and we were much more distant and did not hang out too often before the dating part.

as for physical intimacy: we started hugging/holding hands/being comfortable with each other before dating, but used it as a sign that we should start a relationship?

i suppose that is where i stand right now.

i am unsure of what the difference in my current best friends are, and what my relationships used to be. i am very physically affectionate, and i enjoy it. i also became close to people fast, thanks to meeting them at college. the biggest change? my two best friends are a lesbian and an arospec who is also out of my age range, dating wise.

there is no room for romantic interpretation.

once none of my friends could be potential partners, it felt like a relief. i don’t have to figure out if they like me or not, and if i “like” them back. we can just be friends.

i don’t want people to have crushes on me. all of mine were deliberately chosen, and that is not the way i feel “romance” should be.

looking back, i have lost many good friendships to the pitfall that is dating. and why? i never have found anything more fulfilling than my close platonic friendships. romantic relationships were always just adding a degree of exclusivity i never could live up to, since i cared for my closest friend and partners in the exact same way.

what is romance? i truly do not know.

however, i do know some things:

i love my friends

i enjoy spending time with my friends

i do not need exclusivity to be valued

not attempting to date has led to my platonic relationships being more fulfilling and wonderful than they were when i constantly had to compare them with what the “line” between romance and friendship was.

of course, i don’t speak for everyone. you may relate to my experience, and be alloromantic. you may understand me, but think this is some sort of polyamorous “i’m in love will all my friends but am in denial because i know they won’t like me back.”

it doesn’t matter, because i know who i am. despite having a dating history, i identify with the label that allows me to describe myself as clearly as possible.

this post is getting long, i’m sure i’ll be back shortly!

all the best,

mattisaroace

[lcngdays]

judas was in love with jesus and i can prove it. analysis under the cut.

Now, if you've never seen JCSS, this may come across as confusing. As I have gone back and read the Gospels in the actual Bible, but hear me out. We don't see anything of Judas's side in the Gospels in the Bible. He is only reported on my people who hated him for betraying their cause. Jesus Christ Superstar is actually a fascinating tale, and I would attribute that to the fact that, in a lot of ways, it is Judas's Gospel. It explains why he did what he did, how he came to be who he was, and how his life ended in such a sour way. 

But what I'd like to mainly focus on is the queer undertones the story in JCSS has. First we must look at the song I Don't Know How to Love Him, which is sung by Mary Magdalene about Jesus. 

"I don't know how to love him/ What to do, how to move him."

She sings these as the opening lines to the song, but as the song ends, we see just how deep her devotion and love for Jesus is. 

"He scares me so, I want him so/ I love him so."

This clearly represents heteronormative love, between a man (Jesus) and a woman, (Mary Magdalene). So where does this idea that this musical actually represents queer ideals come up? While we can clearly see Judas being jealous of Mary in the song Strange Thing, Mystifying, when he sings, 

"It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying, that a man like you, can waste his time... On women of her kind." 

And while this can just be seen as his dislike for her formerly being a prostitute, when you actually watch the scene play out, in which Judas seems to take pleasure in the fact that everyone is mad at him it just screams jealous ex-boyfriend to me. 

Then, in Everything's Alright, we see Judas stalking and sulking around in the background while Mary anoints Jesus and helps calm him down. Judas is unable to let this go, because of his jealousy in regards to how Jesus favors Mary over him. He hides in a guise of wanting to save money for the poor, to which Jesus rebukes him, upsetting Judas further, as he assumed Jesus would have taken his side in such an argument. 

But perhaps the most damning evidence that this is a queer piece of media comes from the song Judas's Death, (tw for suicide in the latter half of this song) in which Judas reprises the song, I Don't Know How to Love Him (remember, this is Mary's love confession to Jesus!).

Does he love... Does he love me too?/ Does he care for me? 

This is what Judas sings. And when coming to the reality that Jesus may not love him, at least not in the way Judas loves him, and that he, in his selfishness, has caused Jesus untold pain... Judas chooses to end his life. Additionally, he turns his anger towards God, accusing God of using him for his plot to force Jesus into martyrdom. He doesn't forgive God, and he doesn't forgive himself. 

[moonsquaremars]

Astrological Analysis of my new Relationship

Ok, so to the left is my natal chart, and to the right is the natal chart of the new guy I've been seeing. We met about six years ago at a bathhouse, and lost contact. We reunited this past September, and the ball got rolling.

We had really great sex, and we have a lot in common. We enjoy each other's company. Oddly, he reminds me of my friend who just committed suicide a few months ago. It's like the universe is still providing that energy for me now that my friend Brad is gone.

I'll call new guy Mr. Mouse. One of my nicknames for him is Millionaire Mouse, cuz he's a millionaire and he reminds me of a mouse lol. He's very kind and sweet, not pushy at all. Sometimes too sweet. But after what I've been through, that's not so bad.

Immediately while looking at his chart, it's interesting. It has a lot going on. It looks like a diamond. And all that checks out, cuz his life is anything but boring. I told him my chart is the shell, and his chart is the pearl that fits inside.

I'm still not over 8th house sun, but I'm not holding my breath for him any longer. We still talk occasionally, I still love him, but it looks like he is gonna have to take the back burner.

I really hesitated doing my synastry chart with Mr. Mouse, because I didn't want him to have more key aspects than 8th House Man. Part of me still believes I will end up with him, and I didn't want to entertain the idea of anyone else replacing him or having more key aspects than he has. 8th house has one key aspect, as does Mr. Mouse. Unfortunately, the key aspect for 8 isn't exactly a positive one, but Mouse's is. So both men who I have been torn between only have one key aspect in our synastry.

I'm not sure how to interpret this, because other partner's I've had have had more keys, but then again, my relationships with them didn't last anyway. It's possible these relationships won't last either. anyways.

The most interesting thing about Mr Mouse's chart is his 12th house moon. My sun is in the 12th house, as is my dad's. 12th house rules monestaries, and he grew up in a small town that is known for its catholic monestary. It makes sense I would end up there, living with him. I think it will be a very healthy change of pace for me. The city has gotten so toxic and overwhelming.

Another interesting thing is that he has Sun trine Moon natally. My dad has that aspect, my best friend patrick, and most of my ex boyfriends have had that placement for some reason. My sun sextiles my moon and my little sister has the same placement. It's said to make one really agreeable, balanced, and well liked.

Our north nodes are both in libra, and we both have a life path of 7. I used to be extremely ambitious, like capitalist, enterprising, all that stuff. So is he. He built his own company and is a CEO and 'an important person'. I had met rich people before, but dating him has exposed me to mega rich people.... It's been an experience.

To the left is our synastry chart, and to the right is our composite. For those who don't know, synastry is how our charts blend together, the composite chart is the chart for the relationship itself.

It appears his sun lands in my 6th house, which makes sense, cuz he's helping me heal and get solid ground. My sun touches his 9th house, which I guess adds up, cuz I feel like I'm expanding him intelectually. My moon in his 11th house makes total sense, bc of my 11th house stellium, and the fact that I speak french and mandarin is very fascinating and beneficial for him.

As for the composite, our sun is in aries.

this adds up. we've traveled a lot, and our relationship has been pretty fun so far. Oddly, our composite sun is in the 8th house, which is the natal sun of the guy I fell in love with this summer. so it seems the universe is saying something.

I'm definitely getting into my more spiritual, psychic, intuitive side. I saw both men in a dream, before I even met them. I talk in a post about the dream about 8th house man, but after all that bullshxt went down and I was so depressed in july, I had a premonition dream that saw Mr. Mouse.

In the dream, which felt like I was watching a movie in the theaters, was me walking around a very wealthy, well decorated home. I was in a room with no walls, and I was older, and a priest. I thought the dream was telling me that I would be old and wealthy, but then the priest part didn't make any sense. Why would I become a priest? Turns out Mr. Mouse went to seminary to be a catholic priest, and the house I saw was his mother's. The second floor doesn't have windows.

So I've seen both men in a dream. That doesn't help me too much with making a decision. Haha.

These are some of our synastry aspects. The key aspect is positive, and helped me gain clarity on why exactly we are together. We have an age gap, and I hate the way people look at us in public. But I'm also in love with summer boy and hoping he'll come around.

The sexual magnetism is very true. We have so much sex and we don't seem to grow tired of it, yet at least lol.

[sitp-recs]

Hello Liv! Hope this is okay to ask. Feeling a Weasley/Draco streak. Do you have any Bill/Draco, Charlie/Draco, or Ron/Draco fic recs?

I'm deep into Bill/Draco ideas but there are barely any fics and wasn't sure if you had any more material ^^

Hi anon! In this house we thirst over love and support the Weasley family! I have a Dron list here, so I’m highlighting my top 5 and adding some fics with Bill and Charlie as well. Enjoy 😌

Ron/Draco:

A Soft Spot for Lost Causes by Helenish (E, 13k)

"Remember at school? Weasel? You’re so poor and dirty?" Ron said encouragingly "You hated me." "I did," Draco said.

The Sun, Shining Above You by @oknowkiss (E, 14k) - technically a Dronarry but Dron stole the scene for me

Since joining up with the dragontamers, Draco counts his days in nights. Nights spent drinking in the commune mess, making poor choices he doesn't regret, for once. Nights he doesn't remember, and nights he wishes he could stop remembering.

Dreaming Skies by @sweet-s0rr0w and @tackytigerfic (E, 20k)

Draco's life is going nowhere, so when Charlie Weasley offers him a job out on his reserve, Draco doesn't think twice before booking a Portkey. After all, it's not as if he has many other options. But when he arrives in Romania, he realises that nothing is quite what he expected...

A Fine Foray into Fashionable Fellatio by @wellhalesbells (E, 31k)

First comes tolerating, then comes shagging, then comes unintended consequences.

Is This It series by MillicentMakepeace (E, 52k)

Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy get trapped in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement during an attack drill. HOWEVER WILL THEY PASS THE TIME?

Bill/Draco:

A Room with a View in the Flowering City by @wolfpants (E, 1k)

During Draco's internship at Gringotts, Bill and Draco get to know each other in surprising ways. For Bill, it's fun, but also comforting.

slide by @onbeinganangel (E, 1.5k)

Bill Weasley, who insists on approaching Draco every time, no matter where, on fetching him drinks, on flirting relentlessly, on touching him softly with rough, big hands that leave Draco’s skin prickling. Bill Weasley, with that fang earring dangling enticingly off his ear, moving ever so slightly as he speaks, with his hair pulled up into a messy ponytail Draco desperately wants to pull on.

Charlie/Draco:

love on high by tryslora (E, 1.3k)

Charlie loves to take Draco up on dragon back and fuck him high above the ground.

Wildflower by @wolfpants (E, 1.3k)

Charlie and Draco's relationship grows like the wildflowers on the alpine meadows, and Charlie wonders how many seasons they'll survive.

Dragon Taming by who_la_hoop (T, 2k)

When the Malfoys flee – with dignity, of course – to Romania after the war, Draco finds unexpected kinship with one of those awful red-haired Weasley boys.

Put on a Show by @gracerene (E, 3k)

Charlie's not supposed to have sex with clients while on the clock. Luckily he's found a loophole.

Stay Gold by provocative_envy (M, 4k)

Draco has a favorite brand of caviar, for fuck’s sake.

how to win (despite yourself) by curiouslyfic (M, 4.5k)

Charlie knows he's only got Draco until Harry makes his move. Just, Charlie's gotten attached now and Draco's not easy to give up.

Leap of Faith by Alisanne (E, 5k)

Charlie's always had a way with magical creatures, and Draco is just a fancy name for a dragon.

Four Times Charlie Had Authority Over Draco and One Time He Didn't by Snegurochka (E, 8k)

It started the week after the final battle, in a Ministry holding cell with a fake Auror and a suspect who was used to doing as he was told.

Calling Me Out to the Cliffs by @wellhalesbells (M, 9k)

The war ends but Fenrir Greyback has evaded capture and he’s made no effort to hide his fascination with one Draco Malfoy. For his own protection, the Order decides to shack him up with Charlie Weasley in Middle-of-Nowhere, Romania. Which is just what Charlie wants this Christmas: to spend the hols with his ex.

Dragon's Ink by Leela (E, 9k)

One evening, just before closing, a hooded and cloaked man enters Charlie's studio. Draco Malfoy wants a tattoo. The only problem is that he already has one.

it's brutal out here by @dracoladon and @lazywonderlvnd (E, 25k)

Draco finally meets Charlie Weasley. He's kind of a beast.

Fire on the Mountain (Run, boy, run) by cryptonym (E, 25k)

Charlie is just trying to get on with life post-war with his beloved dragons and forget. Draco just wants to get out of England and somehow manages to wangle his way into a placement on the reserve. Charlie doesn't expect him to last a week, but his dedication, perseverance, and obvious love of dragons are impressive, and it doesn't hurt that he has a damn fine arse. Charlie's just not sure he can trust Draco.

There’s Something About A Malfoy by mindabbles (E, 27k)

Charlie has no room in his drawers for anyone else's skivvies, Harry wallows in moral agony for a bit, Draco wants to rebuild his life, and Scorpius just wants Harry to stop being an idiot. And there's something wicked in the forest. If they're going to stop it, they're all going to have to work together.

Bonus: Bill/Draco/Charlie 😈

He Wants Him by Leela (E, 1.5k)

Bill wants Draco. Charlie wants him, too, especially after Bill's had him.

[mildiva]

So I’ve Decided To Start A Blog About Music And Parties

the idea came to me on a break at work after leaving my phone at home, my mind never clearer… i should be blogging about music. pitchfork is dead, first of all, and third of all it’s something i cannot live without, so why not?

I’m not sure of the “” format “” this will take but right now i’ll just write things as they come?? and part of my love for music is of course parties. they’re still so life giving to me and i still think nothing is better than dancing with gay ppl some of whom are my friends and hearing them dj. some of them are even good! it’s just spaces of eternal and endless flowing love. anyways.

arianka is back!! when i first heard yes, and?, i thought “alright miss grande this is cute!” and it’s grown on me ever since. I’ve been anticipating this album, seeing what direction she would go. i’ve been listening to sweetener every day for the last few weeks mostly because the eating 4 free series on ariana recontextualized her… everything, i guess?? i’d always seen her as just like a Nickelodeon product industry plant which as a certified quirky-not-like-other-girl syndrome haver did not interest me. i was still listening ofc but i wasn’t invested like i was in say lady gaga (and oh how the tables have turned on stefani the pharmacy tech but i digress!) anyways the five part e4f series on her, how she got started with looping covers of imogen heap on youtube, her serious involvement in the production of all her albums, really digging into the pain and scrutiny she’s been through from her time with The TV Producer Who Shall Not Be Named to the donut incident (which i always thought was a slay) to the literal Manchester bombing, her relationships especially with mac miller… not gonna call myself an arianator or w/e but i am a fan now, especially after relistening.

before i get into the album i just want to say this: the music video for we can’t be friends was adorable! it’s very sad that we don’t get music videos anymore because they’re not profitable or useful for marketing. still haven’t seen the yes and video but i’ll get to it. my main point is that give evan peters a stingy little mustache, grow his hair out a little longer, and he could pass for spongebob slater! so many people on twitter are mocking him for his looks/ariana for being with him but gassing up evan. look, ethan is… not a guy i would approach in a bar let’s say, but i’d let him buy me a drink, you know? and if we’re to believe ariana on supernatural and ordinary things, they have something special! tweets will go viral about “every hot girl needs a medium ugly bf” but she’s not allowed to do it? anyways.

if you detect a pivot in tone here, it’s because i’m no longer blogging with a sour cream donut and 3/4 of a dunkin latte with oatmilk and nothing else fueling my body, sun glowing through the clouds and full of optimism.. there’s a harried blogging now while i try and finish this before i hop in the shower to get ready for a hookup tonight. also, i’ve been thinking and listening to eternal sunshine again, reading and digesting lyrics and of course many many stan tweets about it.

first, i’d like to amend something i stated earlier that i refuse to edit: evan peters represents dalton her ex(?) husband, not ethan. (side note: i wonder if she’s thought back to the line in thank u, next where she says she hopes she’ll only get married once. either way the song is still a smash!) i of course forgive my confusion because, for reasons unknown even to myself, i assumed the majority of this album was about the forbidden romance that soon overflowed into her public relationship with spongebob, but it’s not! this is very much a breakup album and nobody is bored in it.

i’m really fascinated by this because ariana took such a turn in disappearing from the public eye after getting together with dalton (which was certainly aided by the pandemic). as a non-stan, i couldn’t tell you what little she HAS been putting out, but if the inimitable joan summers couldn’t find pictures of her for a two year period, it’s safe to say she was lying low. and yes there have been jokes and supposition about “ariana wasn’t allowed to talk about the divorce as per their agreement but she sang about it~~” BUT! if we take that into consideration (and also rely on the journalistic analysis of e4f), most of the negative press and comments came from dalton and his camp. divorce agreements and technicalities of speech aside, i think she chose a much kinder way to speak about their relationship. even she says she wishes she hated him (knowing very little about their relationship, I’m happy to hate him off of the line about him turning the tv up on her crying) but she doesn’t! even with songs like the boy is mine, supernatural, and ordinary things, she really details a story of a relationship disintegrating with both her and dalton finding other people. it’s certainly not the cheating homewrecker story everybody was running with months ago. even if the arianators turn on dalton, he’s still spared any real damage to his reputation because she doesn’t paint him as a monster, scoundrel, narcissist, etc. not to get too “a man can laugh but a woman can only chortle” about it, but i hope people who wrote ariana off listen and reconsider that despite the tabloids and the lyrics, none of us know what went down in that marriage.

okay but what about the music? this will maybe be the shortest part of this blog (oops!), but I’m really fascinated with the narrative around and in the album. the music, I’ll probably need to listen for another week before i have anything worthwhile to say (i need to go full geek on it). keeping it brief, it felt very airy. sonically it sounds like the imaginary room the cover was shot in: spacious and full of sunbeams. something about some of the songs (wait for your love and yes, and?) felt very 80s to me, but i’d need a psychoanalyst to explain that to me. you still hear an rnb influence throughout, but why wouldn’t you? obviously the boy is mine, but true story as well with the bass straight out of “pony” by ginuwine and a drum pattern (pattern, not sample, don’t get it twisted) similarly to “don’t hurt yourself” by beyoncé. my personal favorite of the album was imperfect for you, but i’m a sucker for a pedal tone that creates dissonance, what can i say?

if you’ve actually read this far thank you? im amazed that you read a 20 mile long blog that frankly, is not even well written yet. xoxo 🐇

[turtlesocksv2]

Kinnporsche Rewatch 10 Thoughts

This opening is so good. "If it's for the man i love, i'd never hurt his feelings." Vegas isn't even lying but i don't think he knows that himself. It's fascinating to watch him pull the softboy act on Porsche, who clearly doesn't really trust it, but he knows that Porsche wouldn't be able to stand just staying in the cell, unable to do anything. Porsche needs to be doing something, especially if a loved one is in danger.

Chay getting kidnapped is finally linking his story to the main one which was just direly needed. I do not go to the dark mafia store to buy cute teenage romcom, thank you very much.

Pete demanding to know if Kinn trusts Porsche, because Pete does! Pete is willing to go clear Porsche's name, even if he gets captured, tortured and killed for it, because he trusts Porsche! get you a bestie like Pete!

Vegas likes Porsche! He thinks that Kinn has finally gotten some decent taste! That does not mean that he isn't going to use Porsche and fuck everything up, but the does genuinely like Porsche as a person which i think might make how the two of them end up worse.

LMAO can you imagine being Kinn and dealing with all the Tawan and Porsche escaping bullshit and then you get a phonecall from your estranged younger brother who is clearly injured asking you what the fuck happened like he knows something happened??? and then you have to explain to your estranged baby brother, who is a feral cat of a boy, about your ex coming back from the dead and your new boyfriend escaping his jailcell with your most awful cousin? Just what was that conversation like for him. I have to know.

This entire episode, actually this whole storyline, is Pete No. You In Danger, Girl. But we get our first glimpse of Khun Spikes!

Arm, how on earth did you test that USB on a computer connected to the main network!!!! you are supposed to be the smart one!!! local mafia family's cybersecurity a goddamn nightmare.

Big's death is even sadder on rewatch. that man was just trying his best! he just wants love and to protect kinn! he grew to respect porsche! and to get shot protecting porsche from that evil snake tawan that he never trusted!!!! tragic. i refuse. big is alive just in the hospital.

"i don't like myself being like this." Porsche corruption arc still in full swing, baby! he realizes it's happening but can't stop it.

Kinn got that look on his face like "I swear i'm forgetting something....the stove? did I leave the stove on? No, i've never cooked a day in my life. it can't be that." smashcut to poor Pete caught in the torture dungeon! Kinn is the worst boss.

Pete is derranged and I love him. Vegas has no idea what's about to happen to him. "You're laughing. I'm about to electrocute you with a car battery and you're laughing" The intense eye contact. these insane weirdos were made for each other. we must keep the insanity contained, they cannot be with anyone else. And the complete contrast of that with Ken and Gun, Ken begging and apologizing and clutching at Gun's boots.

Tankhun is not afraid of Gun. He sees clearly what is happening! But he does not like being in a room full of people with their guns drawn. This is the most panicked we've seen him yet, and yet he's still holding it together! He's clearly upset but he isn't melting down. Genuinely I think Tankhun is not as broken as Korn presents him as! He probably was, right after the kidnapping, but he's grown up. Kinn and Tankhun are united, but Korn overrules their desire. Getting dangerously close to the sons Unionizing against you, Korn!

Boyfriend runs away with another man after you lock him up for less than a day because you didn't tell him your master plan? Deutsche Bank can help. Boyfriend wants you to apologize for falling for his cousin's lies? Deutsche Bank can help. Deutsche Bank: for all your reconciling with your boyfriend needs.

"it's like i've forgotten something, but I can't think of what" Pete is being tortured, Kinn! For the love of god you lost a whole person!!! how do you not realize the man you sent in to clear your boyfriend's name hasn't reappeared yet!!! TRY HARDER, KINN! if i was Pete i'd be so mad.