#Nobody tells me what to do in my place // Aesthetic

[youxknowxaxdrink]

tag yourself - geographic types

REPOST DON’T REBLOG

tagged by: more like encouraged by @indyflanery​.

tagging: @mcltitcdes​ (Alexis); @becomelions​ (Nick)-- and anyone else who wants to play! Tag me in your results!

forest:

won’t let others break their friend’s hearts, can’t get enough of the drug-like caffeine, clearing their throat as a type of warning, crawling back to their poisonous lover, let’s not be caught on fire

field:

coming home from work and getting that instant relief at the sight of their bed, waiting for their partner to give them the green light, creating their glorious empire out of mud and dirt

city:

definitely has a day mode and night mode for their behavior, going to light it all up one day, nothing but a lost cause, late because they’re stuck in traffic again, not wanting to accept they are the one at fault

ocean:

swallowing up all negative feelings and never bringing them up again, nothing on their mind, peacefulness within violent waves of the oncoming emotions, learning to let go of toxic love

mountains:

manipulated words no longer dictate their actions, emotions going up the hill slowly and coming down crashing at once, can and will threaten others to ask them out on a date

jungle:

sharp claws ready to slash anyone they encounter, wild animals running wild, stronger due to all the stuff meant to kill them, definitely not dependent on love or the implied affections of it

desert:

their oasis resembles a dark empty room, blinded by the bright sunlight, it’s all or nothing, they just can’t be won by slight advances, overheating even in their short clothes, can go both extremes of the scale

polar region:

all ambitions are now called untouched territory, ignoring their mental health issues, struck by the sensations of nature, not quite ready for that question and answer session

[xianyoon]

𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

alhaitham x gn!reader. hurt & comfort, fluff. reader works at the akademiya and is pretty badly treated by most people for some reason. alhaitham reminds you that you are loved by him !!!!! ♡ . reader is inspired by me ( dec 26 bday + peanut allergy + prone to bouts of anxiety ) ノ based off my own interpretation of how alhaitham loves. ノ wc 2.5k.

ask around the bustling hub of sumeru city, and the native dreamers would often describe being loved as something mesmerising and captivating – like a kaleidoscope, twisting and turning enchantingly in hopes that the beads would fall perfectly in place, but it never always truly does – it is endearing and a lesson for the lovers all the same. the messy beads twirl and turn but there is just some reason why they can’t get enough of it.

the thinkers talk about love like an anchor dragging you further and deeper down into the depths of adoration and affection and infatuation; to them, there are often few clear differentiations between sinking into love and drowning in it.

for alhaitham, however – love is natural, like the cycle of growth of the dainty flowers and wild grass beneath his feet. a swanlike, enchanting piece of music that flows from your violin’s bow – with the right person, it is as natural as breathing.

but for alhaitham, however – love is also... unnatural, given his lack of experience. he has adoring fans, he has scholars singing his praises and piles of handwritten letters from secret admirers commending his mind and aesthete – but he has never loved before, not until you.

the first act of love. listening, when nobody else will try to.

alhaitham is a wonderful listener. if you ask him, he’d say that he prefers listening, even – he is content to hear all that you have to say, however nonsensical or ridiculous you sound to others. the scribe’s work is simple, so he never truly minds – to sit quietly with a small smile on his face while you talk his ear off about anything and everything – that is what love is, you are sure.

“hey, i’m sorry.. this is just too much right now.” you know they use this as a replacement for you.

“could you tell me another time?” another time will never come.

“just keep quiet, archons! do you ever shut up?” no, i’m sorry. i probably should.

alhaitham watches from his office as your heart breaks with every unwilling individual, each choosing to walk away while you tore your heart out, still bleeding from your ribcage while laying the offering bare at their feet. how could a human being be so cruel? there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ – yet you believe you cannot make it speak because they do not choose to listen.

“...i believe you hadn’t quite finished your story from the last time we met.” he speaks plainly, eyes glistening – with pity or with eagerness is something you don’t wish to distinguish. let it be the same, lest the heartbreaking realisation that he is just like the others.

“you remember?” you ask cautiously. please do, i can’t bear to beg anyone anymore.

“i do. that day about your old neighbour’s dog escaping into your garden. you’re welcome to continue, if you’d like.”

he watches your eyes light up as you trip and stumble over your words, quietly surprised and eager to please. there is a soft feeling in his chest – a warm, weighing feeling nestled in his ribcage.

the second act of love. remembering, when it feels like no one else does.

it is no secret that alhaitham’s mind is incredible. highly intelligent, closely observant, adept at noticing discrepancies – any researcher would fight to have him take a spot on their team. he is good at remembering, you think to yourself – alhaitham remembers everything – the things you’d grovel at someone’s feet, to remember the slightest thing about you, for, and everything you wished the world forgot. him remembering everything is incredible – whether that be a good thing, or not; is another.

“when’s your birthday again?” your co-worker taps his fingers against his chin, looking through the sheet of office birthdays.

“it’s–”

“december 26th.” alhaitham walks past, not looking up from his notebook.

you and your co-worker stare in silence. he...

“yeah, december 26th...” you catch a glimpse of the silver-haired scribe around the corner. he remembered. even if it was just an offhand comment about how funny you found your birthday to be right after christmas. he remembered.

“huh.” your co-worker shrugs it off, noting it down on the list as if nothing happened.

something happened. you feel something warm blossoming in your chest – warm, comforting, lovely all the same. a tender, sweet feeling like the heavy blanket on a rainy day that attempts to capture your heart in your throat and keep it captive forever; there is so much you want to say to alhaitham. it’s nice that he remembers – out of all your friends ( was he a friend? ), who could confidently say the date without thinking twice?

“i believe those are nuts. if i recall correctly, aren’t you allergic?” the next time you see a glimpse of his silver hair, alhaitham peers into your bowl of noodles. nuts – how comical it is to think that such a small, minuscule digit could potentially cut off breathing for you.

“i thought i told them ... perhaps i didn’t.” you mumble, hurriedly spitting out half-chewed food into your tissue. you stare tiredly into your bowl – surely you remember letting the waiter know that you had an allergy.

“you did.”

before you could even turn your head to reply to his reassurance, alhaitham flags down the same, tired waiter. he trudges to your table, serving tray tucked between his arm and body.

“can i be of service?”

“excuse me, i believe we mentioned earlier that they couldn’t have nuts.” alhaitham stares at him in the eye, glancing briefly at your bowl with spat-out nuts beside it. the waiter grabs it, letting out a soft sigh of frustration.

“you are a service professional, are you not?” alhaitham interrupts the languid movement; yet he does not break the stare.

“sir, i am just a wa–”

“my apologies. are you are a paid member of this establishment?”

“i am.” the waiter nods in quiet submission. it is better to shut up than to argue with a man who loves.

“you understand the laws regarding a customer’s health and safety, do you not? even if it’s tiresome, if they had gone into an anaphylactic shock here in your cafe, i believe it would have been a matter of time before an investigation is launched and a lawsuit is filed.”

you hear alhaitham soften at the word they. they. you. you are important enough to him that he’d quietly, but fiercely rip into the waiter over your allergy. (alhaitham wishes you felt important enough to care about your health instead of apologising for not speaking loud enough.)

the waiter steels himself and takes your bowl back to the kitchen without another word.

“thank you,” you turn to alhaitham. “that meant a lot.”

you show him a soft smile, and alhaitham feels a wave of silent thankfulness wash over himself – that you sit before him, wearing a bright and sweet smile and not a pained grimace from struggling to breathe, on your features. he feels the same warmth in his chest once again.

“you don’t need to thank me.”

alhaitham remembers, even when it feels like no one else does.

the third act of love. holding, when your skin feels achingly colder.

alhaitham does not strike people as a touchy person; his love language is not physical touch. touch scares him a little, even. the thought that a simple loving gesture could be twisted and morphed into a threatening hold scares even the most intelligent and strong of men – but he is human, and that is enough for him to appreciate lingering touches on his back as and when he needs and wants to.

he sees you – fingers twitching and rubbing against each other, clumsily tapping against your palms then scrunching inwards – you need touch. you need to be held. it was as simple and as crucial as breathing. your fingers press in inwards of itself, and he watches the colour recede and return once again as you loosen your grip.

“come here,” alhaitham gestures, wrapping your hand around his. there’s something comforting about how your hand is smaller than his; it’s not that much smaller, but it’s smaller all the same. if you curled yourself up even more, perhaps you’d be able to fit into the palm of his hands.

“don’t do that. you’ll hurt yourself.”

“do what?” you look at him quizzically.

“i wasn’t sure if you were unaware, but you tend to self-soothe and search for touch.” he sighs quietly, absent-mindedly stroking your purlicue as he turned back to his book.

“although i believe you search for it too much. press too hard, and you’ll start to feel numb.”

“ah.” you stare at your hands – the left, which he holds, and the right, resting on the cool table.

“thank you.”

“i said before, there is no need to thank me. if it is a simple matter regarding your well-being, i would do–” he stops himself. anything, is left hanging in silence.

“i would be happy to resolve that matter.”

even holding you? would he dare hold something so shamefully broken?

“thank you...” you close your eyes. he hesitates; just once.

“you don’t sound pleased, nor satisfied. was it something i said?” you hear his voice soften.

no, it’s not you. you shake your head quietly, resting your head against your right palm on the table.

“it’s alright. you do not have to talk if you don’t wish to.” alhaitham replies. you feel him smoothing your hair back – a touch so soft and tender, you can hardly believe it to be for yourself. it was intoxicating; his touch lacked lust, full in love– you have never been loved (loved?) like this before.

you feel slightly warmer now.

the fourth act of love. comforting, when there seems to be no one in your corner.

“i just wanted them to be different. just this once. is that too much to even ask?”

alhaitham holds you tightly as you sob and lament; he holds tighter than he ever has before, and he mourns. he mourns for the walls you had slowly built up over time dawn with the realisation that it had been justified all along; alhaitham knows how hard you have begged for them to be unneeded.

“i know.”

you hiccup, ducking beneath his arm tiredly – and he holds you gently. he holds you, arm resting on the crook of your neck as you rest against a pillow on his side – he holds you like he has done it all his life. fitting yourself – not small but not big – into his frame, alhaitham thinks, may very well be the most natural thing the world has brought him.

“they had no right to treat you like that. i’m sorry.”

“it’s not your fault.” you sniffle.

archon, it hurt. you were going to get hurt in every lifetime, you know that– no, you deserved it. that has been etched into your mind since day one of starting your work. that was just who you were. the poor, miserable corner-sitter who had nothing else to do but correct their own mistakes. no initiative, no ounce of thought. why had the akademiya even hired you if its own people despised you?

“you don’t deserve to be hurt over and over, you know.”

how did he know?

“you said that aloud.”

you mumble a soft sorry, and he replies, shaking his head.

“it isn’t your fault,” alhaitham echoes your previous sentiment, almost teasingly. “i believe you’re smart enough to figure that out.”

before you look up at his tousled hair to reply, you feel a soft kiss pressed to your forehead.

a kiss.

his kiss.

“if you find them still bothering you, come and talk to me. the scribe’s position is – it may not be much – but i know with my place within the akademiya, they will listen. i promise you this,” he holds your warm hands in his broader ones.

“if they do not stop, i will leave. i have no regard for a company that will not protect its own workers.”

he wants to say a company that will not protect you, but thinks otherwise. perhaps it is too much right now after his impulsive kiss –that is the one thing that alhaitham mulls over. he has never been impulsive before; always thinking through and filtering and being rational and all the things that makes alhaitham, alhaitham. being impulsive is not a trait others describe him by. 

so why, you–?

the fifth act of love. loving you, even when you believe people cannot.

–because he loves you, and alhaitham cannot, for the life of him and even with all the overbearing advice from kaveh and more bearable guidance from nahida – he cannot put it into words. for the first time in his life, alhaitham stumbles over himself, words tumbling out like love letters hastily shoved into a sack with a cut into it.

“what is so special about me? you’re always here, alhaitham, yet you never grow sick of me.”

he finds himself caught off guard when you ask suddenly, caught in today’s throes of insecurities. your words hang cautiously on your tongue like a snake waiting for the moment a displeased reaction appears – whether you hiss or hide, is something alhaitham feels a modicum of curiosity about, pulsing, and pulsing, until he tries.

“you-”

there are too many things that he can think of, he feels. nahida, give me strength.

“you are- you are kind. and generous. you have a heart for people even when they do not have one for you.” he starts, slowly. “you listen intently, and you enable people to open and talk. they talk because you listen and you support them with all your soul and it is so evident that you love.”

you want to cry.

“i admit i am not good with words, but you deserve every vow i utter tonight. you love so loudly, and you feel no shame for it – you have inspired me, and i dare confess that there have been many times i have desired to pull back, out of worry that i have felt the distinct possibility that i was about to fall in love with you.”

oh. you blink as if that hasn’t been obvious enough.

alhaitham is deeply and madly in love with you.

“i love you, not only because you are special, but also because i believe you deserve every ounce of love i can retrieve from myself. i know it has been made clear to you that others do not feel the same way, and it hurts to believe that some of it has come from those i know – i promise to be different–”

“you already are, alhaitham.” you feel yourself choke up. love is entangling itself around your trachea and holding you hostage, never letting go.

“you have never treated me with the same contempt. i love you, i know you return my feelings and for that i am thankful. i’m sorry that i’m not an easy person to love, please...” you trail off, feeling his body collide into yours. alhaitham holds you. he holds you, hand on your back and the other cradling your head against his shoulder.

“i want to love you,” he whispers into your hair. “please let me.”

so, about love–

ask alhaitham? you see a soft smile adorns his features as he mulls over the question of what love is to him. love, forever yours, evermore.

[fangweaver2099]

𝐅 𝐀 𝐖 𝐍 𝐓 𝐄 𝐄 𝐓 𝐇 - Prologue pt 2

MINORS DNI 18+ FIC

You’ve always liked the idea of having a dominant partner - BDSM was something you’ve read about, watched videos about.

Something you made Pinterest boards and aesthetic tumblr posts about when you were 18 and curious, the idea always sounded nice, but you’ve never done it in practice, not really. Sure you bought fuzzy handcuffs at a gag gift store once, but that didn’t really count.

You’re still a virgin.

You’ve always had that chronically awkward, workaholic type of vibe that made typical dating near impossible at worst and frustrating at best. Normal dating apps have proven fruitless and agitating. So poor curious little you talked yourself into making a fetlife account. You weren’t looking for true love, but at least you could get laid.

DM Request from: 10:13 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Hello, Fawn.”

College was for new experiences after all.

CW: BDSM heavy/centric fic. Safe, Sane & Consensual. Miguel is your professor, but you both don't know that. Age Gap (Y/N is 23, Miguel is mid 30's)

TAG: @slut4oscarissac23

PART 1 - PART 3

It’s been a week since you met Web. You’ve gotten into the routine he provided after you confirmed he expected you to start instantly. Thankfully, your summer job is walkable and makes the whole hour of exercise he’d demanded - so it isn’t much of a change in routine.

 He isn’t pleased that your idea of meals is usually whatever frozen nuggets you have in the fridge or whatever you and your roommates decide to swing by to, but there’s only so much you can do on a college budget, and he begrudgingly accepts that fact after some discussion. 

You wake with a groan, still entangled in your gray duvet. You had opted for a daybed for your tiny room and it means you often sleep with your nose touching the wall and your limbs curled close to you, fetal position. 

For a long moment, you consider heading back to bed. Your hands search down your body and across your bed for the phone. You pull the damn thing out from under your hip and flip it over in your hand. 

Web asks you to download something called ‘Telegram’ - it doesn’t log pictures or anything for that matter, according to him. You find you even have a few contacts saved that used it. You discover your cousin is a furry, but you aren’t going to tell him that. 

Web’s icon is what you’d expect, really - a red web. His number is fake - surprising to exactly nobody. He was clearly more tech savvy than you. When you had visualized an ideal dominant - Web checked too many boxes. At first you considered ghosting him, anxiety ate you up.

But you also crave his attention - maybe you’re more lonely than you thought. You find yourself waiting for his messages and bouncing at the attention. You’ve developed a habit of staying up too late waiting to see if he’ll pop back online again. 

So you click open your phone, ignoring Facebook, Instagram, whatever, and click open the small blue icon to Telegram. 

 9:13 AM - WebRigger2099 - “Good Morning.”  

“ I slept in… Sorry. Just saw this. Morning. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:15 PM

 1:19 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Slept in until 1pm? Up late?”  

“ Roommates were loud, so I watched netflix. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:19 PM

 1:19 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Maybe when summer is over you’ll be able to get proper sleep at my place.”  

“ That sounds nice. We’ll have to see. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:19 PM

 1:20 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I can set up a dog bed at the foot of mine. I’d make sure you were comfortable, but you’d have to wake me to go to the bathroom. The leash would keep you bound to bed.”  

“ And here I thought we’d snuggle. :p ” - Fawnteeth - 1:20 PM

 1:20 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Yes, but you have to earn the bed for sleeping at night. Incentives keep you from growing complacent.”  

“ You really do know what you’re doing. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:21 PM

“ Any free time today? ” - Fawnteeth - 1:21 PM

1:21 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I work from home during the summer and practically make my own hours. It’s a quiet day.”  

“ Can I ask what you do? ” - Fawnteeth - 1:21 PM

1:21 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Yes, but I won’t answer.”  

“ Mysterious. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:22 PM

 1:22 PM - WebRigger2099 - “If you guess correct you might earn a treat, pup.”  

“ How many tries do I get? ” - Fawnteeth - 1:22 PM

1:22 PM - WebRigger2099 - “We’ll say three.”  

“ Banker? ” - Fawnteeth - 1:22 PM

1:22 PM - WebRigger2099 - “No. Every time you get it incorrect, you’ll answer a question of mine, how’s that sound?”  

“ That's not very fair. :c ” - Fawnteeth - 1:23 PM

1:23 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I never said it would be.”  

“ Fine. Ask away. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:23 PM

1:23 PM - WebRigger2099 - “When was the last time you touched yourself, Fawn?”  

“ Oh. These kind of questions. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:23 PM

1:23 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Is that a complaint I hear?”  

“ No. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:23 PM

1:23 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Well?”  

“ The night after we spoke the first time. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:23 PM

1:23 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Good girl. Excited you, did I?”  

“ Yes, sir. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:24 PM

1:24 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Good girl. You remembered the rule. No ‘maybe’s, only ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”  

“ I’m trying my best. It’s not like it’s fun being a brat at the start. I gotta learn your buttons. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:24 PM

1:24 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You must be a glutton for punishment. Did you see the cane marks I left on some of the girls in my photo album?”  

“ I did. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:24 PM

 1:24 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Did it excite you, Fawn?”  

You huff, rolling onto your other side on the bed.

“ ...Yes. When do I get to guess again? >:c ” - Fawnteeth - 1:24 PM

1:24 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I never said you couldn’t. You’re just answering free questions.”  

“ Mean. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:24 PM

 1:24 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Exceptionally. You have to earn ‘nice’.”  

“ I don’t know why I find you so charming. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:24 PM

“ Librarian? ” - Fawnteeth - 1:24 PM

1:24 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Wrong. And many submissives find comfort in pain and punishment.”  

“ you seem like the librarian type. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:25 PM

1:25 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Because you think I’d spank you with a ruler if you made too much noise?”  

“ I don’t think a ruler would hurt very much. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:25 PM

1:25 PM  - WebRigger2099 - “You haven’t had one break on your skin then. I’ve left bruises with them before.”  

“ I sure haven’t. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:25 PM

1:25 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I’ll have to bring one someday, then. And a crop. Anything else you’d like me to mark you with?”  

“ Let me think about it. ” - Fawnteeth -  1:25 PM

“ Personal trainer? You have the body for it. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:25 PM

1:25 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Isn’t that what I’m doing to you? It doesn’t pay very well, but I don’t have any complaints about the benefits so far.”  

“ I mean. I guess? You haven’t asked me to work out, plus I hear the right clients means you could make bank. So you are a personal trainer? ” - Fawnteeth - 1:26 PM

1:26 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I did tell you to exercise an hour a day. Did you forget?”  

“ Not completely. I walk. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:26 PM

1:26 PM - WebRigger2099 - “No, I’m not a personal trainer. Ready for my last two questions?”  

“ Yes. :c I thought I was right… ” - Fawnteeth - 1:26 PM

1:26 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Afraid not.”  

1:26 PM - WebRigger2099 - “When you masturbated the night we first spoke, what did you imagine?”  

“ A bit of what you could look like. Putting myself into one of your photos. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:27 PM

1:27 PM  - WebRigger2099 - “Do you like the idea of me showing you off for everyone to see? Your face covered of course, like the rest.”  

“ I sure don’t mind the idea. Do most girls say no? I see you haven’t taken any photos in like 7 years. ” - Fawnteeth - 11:27 PM

1:27 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I’ve been busy. Started again recently.”  

“ Ohhh. I see. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:27 PM

1:27 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Would you like to practice?”  

“ Practice? ” - Fawnteeth - 1:27 PM

1:27 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Posing for my photos.”  

“ Can I see you too? ” - Fawnteeth - 1:27 PM

1:27 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Fair is fair.”  

“ Your profile pic leaves most to the imagination. Well. Below the belt, I guess. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:27 PM

1:27 PM - WebRigger2099 - “That’s what you want to see, is it? You’ll need to earn it.”  

“ Call me curious. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:27 PM

1:27 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You’ll need to follow my instructions for posing, Fawn. Listening?”  

“ Yes. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:28 PM

1:28 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You’ll take a picture of every step to prove you’re following along. Understood?”  

“ Okay. Let me lock my door. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:28 PM

You need a gameplan. Checking for your roommates, you pop your head out of your door, listening hard. You can hear your roommate Kore’s music - some pop medley that she’s sewing to. Good. 

You don’t hear anyone else, so everybody else must be out. You… try not to think about what Taylor or Aurora could be up to.

Sticking your head back in, you close the door. moving to click the lock shut. You check the door, only for it to open with the slightest tug. Glancing at the lock, you frown, flicking it on and off to see no little ‘lock’ mechanism come out. 

Shit… You fucking hate your landlord. 

You glance around your room - you are not doing this with your door unlocked. You grew up with half a dozen siblings and strict parents - you know how to improvise. Grabbing the circular chair piled with clothes, you push it to the door and force the metal under your door knob. Hands on your hips, you nod at the handiwork.

Good enough. 

Snatching up your phone, you frown, kicking away most of your discarded clothes and random papers.You really need to clean your room, but you decide you’d do it later.

Right now, you have other priorities. 

Said priority seems to know just when you sit down, the telegram notification lighting up your screen as if you’ve summoned him by pure thought alone. Think of the devil…

1:46 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Having trouble?”  

“ No. All good now. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:46 PM

1:46 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Get a marker.”  

You frown, then glance at your backpack. You trot over and search through it, tossing a few pens and your pencil case in frustration.

In the end you find a single purple sharpie. 

You click open your phone.

“ Does the color matter? ” - Fawnteeth - 1:46 PM

1:46 PM - WebRigger2099 - “No. It just needs to be visible on your skin.”  

“ Kay. Got it then. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:46 PM

1:46 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Take your clothes off. Bra and panties can stay on.”  

You glance up at your phone and stare at yourself in the mirror.

 Your hair is a bit of a mess - that’s fine. 

You glance at your sleep shirt, it’s old and the hem is frayed on the sleeves, the little bunny screen printed onto it is mostly faded. You knew you weren’t wearing a bra, so you glanced around your room till you spotted one laying limply on the floor. Tossing off your top and discarding it wherever it landed. 

Pulling the bra on, you take a deep breath, glancing at yourself again in the mirror. You feel yourself hesitating. You’ve taken nudes before, what about this makes it different? 

Web makes it different. Him telling you to take these for him makes it different. You slip off your shorts and realize you’re wet. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment. 

Still, your phone is in your hand again, you flick it open and type away. 

“Kay.” - Fawnteeth - 1:50 PM

1:50 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Where is my proof, Fawn? I told you to take pictures. Are you trying to get punished?”  

You bite your lip.

“ No. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:50 PM

You need your face mask - the one you wore in all your photos is easy to find. You wrap the thing around your nose and mouth. You know you’re going to crop out your face anyway, but it makes you feel better. 

Like you’re pretending to be someone else. You supposed you aren’t you anymore - you’re Fawn. Fawn doesn’t struggle with nudes. Fawn takes great nudes. 

You glance at yourself in the mirror. You end up trying a few poses, trying to not put emphasis on your long legs or stomach rolls. You settle on your knees  - back slightly arched, one hand splayed on your thigh. Not too lewd.

You snap the photo, shifting your body a bit as you take another. The routine continues a few more times before you pause to look at the photos. 

You decide the second one is the best. You move to crop as much of the background out as you can, including your face. Wisps of your hair remain around your neck but that’s fine. Whatever. Good enough.

You hesitate for a moment, finger lingering on the send button.

What if he doesn’t like it? What if he decides he doesn’t like you? You cringe at the thought. You send the photo and close your phone instantly. 

[photo] - Fawnteeth - 1:55 PM

You hear it ping and slowly click the screen back on.

1:52 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Good girl. Has anyone told you you’re beautiful today, Fawn?”  

You blush.

“ Now someone has. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:52 PM

1:52 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Write it on yourself. We wouldn’t want you to forget if I’m busy and can’t tell you tomorrow morning.”  

“ Okay. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:55 PM

You take a deep breath, grabbing the purple sharpie from beside your knee. Biting down on the cap, you frown, glancing over the expanse of skin thoughtfully. 

How the hell do you write backwards…. You’ll flip the image before you send it.

It’s embarrassing how long you pause, you stare at the pen and your skin. You come to the sad realization this is the first time a man has called you beautiful like… ever. 

You’re smart enough to realize he’s trying to build you up. God, he knows what he’s doing, doesn’t he?

You settle with scribbling the world carefully onto your right thigh. You don’t use the mirror for the photo this time, taking it directly.  

[photo] - Fawnteeth - 1:55 PM

1:55 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Again.”  

You consider asking him where. After considering for a moment, you scribble ‘beautiful’ on your other thigh. It’s not huge and written towards your knee, but it’s readable. 

[photo] - Fawnteeth - 1:56 PM

1:56 PM  - WebRigger2099 - “Keep going.”  

You wonder where - not your thighs again you decide. After some effort you manage to scribble it carefully above your panty waistband, crawling from your hip and across your stomach. 

This time you have to use the mirror. You settle back into that kneeling pose and take a few shots.

You pick the favorite, flipping it so the text can actually be read. You crop it again, cutting off your shoulders and part of your arm. 

[photo]  - Fawnteeth - 1:57 PM

1:57 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Good. That’s enough.”  

“ Here I expected something lewd. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:57 PM

 1:57 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Now pull your panties to the side and show me your pussy.”  

Your cunt throbs, making your thighs snap together. He isn’t even talking, it it’s words on a fucking screen . It’s unfair how effortlessly arousing Web is. 

You could say no. You don’t think he’d be upset if you said no. He had spoken a dozen times over about consent in the past week, reaffirming to you that if you thought it was too much that you were welcome to say so. All it took was you typing yellow or red. 

You don’t.

“ Mkay. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:58 PM

You end up sitting back on your ass, legs apart. You see the dark mark on your panties in between your legs. You almost shutter pulling the cloth aside. You feel your slickness on your fingers and wipe it away with your inner thigh. 

You see yourself through your phone, legs spread and the hints of the words written on your thighs make you freeze. 

You settle with closing your eyes to take the picture. You don’t crop it this time - but your face is still missing from the shot regardless. Just a hint of the black cloth over your chin. Your face is warm both from your cheeks and your breath now. 

You click send and wait patiently for his reply.

[photo] - Fawnteeth - 1:58 PM

 It comes instantly.

1:58 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Now shove the marker inside.”  

Your eyes widen.

1:58 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Take a picture so I can see all the writing and the marker inside you.”  

You grab the top of the marker and cap it, flipping it in your fingers.

“ I’ll try. ” - Fawnteeth - 1:59 PM

The marker is cold. You cringe as you press it against your overheated pussy, flinching as you run it along your opening. After a deep breath you slip it into your opening. You couldn’t exactly feel it - it was more like your fingers.

You’ve never bought a toy, knowing your roommates would rip the package open to see what you ordered, nosy as they are, and it’s not like you could order it to your childhood home. There are some things even you know better than to do. 

Slowly, you kneel again, your hips up in the air as you see the small white and purple thing in between your thighs. 

The last time you took a nude was before college. You chickened out of sending it to your boyfriend at the time. Now you’re just thankful you never got to second base with him. 

You take the picture, eyes closed again. Like that somehow made what you were doing more modest and less slutty. 

Is it slutty? It’s not like you’re sending it to anyone but Web. But also… who is Web?

[photo] - Fawnteeth - 2:02 PM

2:03 PM - WebRigger2099 - “ Good girl. I’m posting this as an album on my page for everyone to see. I’ll blur the background for your privacy, and you already have your mask on.”

“ I thought this was supposed to be practice? :’c ” - Fawnteeth - 2:03 PM

You slip the marker from yourself and put your panties back on correctly. You cringe at the cold wetness. 

 2:03 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I find it best to practice by doing.”  

“ I guess that makes sense. It’s the first time I’ve sent that to anyone on here. Can you keep the one with my crotch in it private? ” - Fawnteeth - 2:03 PM

2:03 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You did good. Lighting and the perfect background are nice, but it's not realistic. Not everyone has perfectly angled windows and lamps to make shots. This is raw. Vulnerable. And yes, I can keep those two private.”  

“ Thanks. My room is kinda a mess… You’re nice, Web. ” - Fawnteeth - 2:03 PM

 2:03 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Just respectful, and not that much. You have low bars, Fawn. Careful someone doesn’t take advantage of them.”  

“ You haven’t. ” - Fawnteeth - 2:03 PM

2:03 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You just shoved a marker up your cunt for me without even questioning it.”  

“ I think you’d be fine if I had said no. When do I get to see it? ” - Fawnteeth - 2:04 PM

2:04 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I suppose you earned it.”

His hands are huge, his chest is broad and clearly the same guy in the photo… and…

Your eyes widen at his dick. The sweatpants bulge in his profile pic is a fucking beast. You had asked him how long it was before, shyly, and he said eight inches. Sheepishly, you told yourself you’d fetch a ruler to see what that would be like in person. 

You’d been too nervous to follow through.

He’s wide, too, his log-like member swollen with arousal. The dark brown skin fades to a milder tan as your eyes finally leave his bulge, trailing up the muscular torso. You swear you see a bead of sweat running down his abs, but you realize that it's yours .

You’re sweating, forehead moist, wiping away the rest with a glide of the back of your hand.

Like all the pictures he had of himself in his gallery, the picture cuts off at the beginning of his neck. This one also cuts off near the knees at the bottom.

“ Jesus christ. ” - Fawnteeth - 2:07 PM

“ Did I do that?. ” - Fawnteeth - 2:07 PM

2:07 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Would you be proud of yourself if you did?”  

“ I’d feel special. ” - Fawnteeth - 2:07 PM

2:08 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You’re special, Fawn. Do you know what I would do if you were in front of me right now?”  

You sink on your thighs as his words. ‘You’re special’ makes you almost tear up. You’re absolutely charmed by him.

Slowly, you lay on the floor, hovering your phone above your face. It’s hard not to grin, chewing your lip red as you think over your reply.

“ No, can you tell me? ” - Fawnteeth - 2:08 PM 

You feel accomplished at that. You’re being so smooth and cool. 

You wait patiently, crossing your legs and bouncing one of them in the air.

He doesn’t reply. You feel sweat gathering at the back of your neck. You move from lounging casually to sat cross legged before your mirror. You debate sending another message. 

You do not send another message - that would make you look desperate, and you are definitely not desperate. That has to be a massive turnoff anyways - after all, he knows what he’s doing, he’s incredibly attractive and hung. He’s probably so sure of himself. Pestering him would just annoy him. 

It isn’t even five minutes you wait before you decide to do anything but stare at your phone. You change into loose pajama pants and toss your shamefully wet panties into the laundry hamper. 

You’re halfway through cleaning your room when you hear it. 

Your phone pings and, embarrassingly, you drop the bra you were holding to rush for your bed. Feeling like a kid on christmas, your fingers shake as you punch in your passcode and pull up the notification. 

2:15 PM  - WebRigger2099 - “I’m sorry. I have to go for a few hours.”  

Your stomach sinks. You think you might be sick.

“ Oh. Okay. ” - Fawnteeth - 2:15 PM

2:15 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I can message you again tonight after 8.”  

“ I’ll hold you to that. ” - Fawnteeth - 2:15 PM

Okay. It isn’t your fault, right? Something’s very clearly up with his life. 

Frowning, you force yourself take a deep breath to calm yourself.

You investigate his picture, his bedroom is neat and simple. It’s clearly not a hotel room - it’s got some personal cozy touches and you can see some brick outside the window behind his shoulder. The sheets are messy and the blankets are mismatched. He’s probably just some normal guy, maybe he works in an office and just likes his body.

And… bondage. 

Y’know - average weird secret pervert things. Hopefully he isn’t married . You didn’t see a ring on either of his hands or even an indent from one he might have taken off for the photos. 

Your eyes eventually drift to the marker discarded on your floor, the end still slick. If he was some kind of weird pervert, what does that just make you?

You look down at your stomach and the small ‘beautiful’ written carefully on it. You need to take a shower and get this off.

You sneak through the house with a change of clothes and your nice shampoo you don’t share with anyone. Your house has one bathroom with a half decent shower, technically being a 2 ½ bath house. 

You don’t like the other bathroom that Kore and Babette mostly use. It only has a bathtub - the shower head doesn’t work. 

You hop in the shower and are horrified at your discovery. It’s not coming off. The writing doesn’t come off with the dove soap or Aurora’s washing puff. Not even scratching it with your nails does anything but vaguely fade it. 

Great. 

You try your best to not freak out. You’ll dress like it’s winter until you can wash it off your skin. You should have asked Web if you should use a sharpie. 

You wash your hair and dry off the best you can. Thankfully, your loose shorts and loose t-shirt hide the marks as long as you don't let the shorts ride up your thighs too much. 

You return to your room and move your chair back into its place. You don’t have work today and you can hear the movement that told you one of your roomies had just gotten home.

Your stomach growls. 

You’re hungry - three meals, you remind yourself, Web always somewhere close to the front of your mind. Technically this would your first meal, you did just wake up and… fuck. Anxiously, you tug down your pajama shorts. Lesson learned, that shit doesn’t come off in the shower. You make a note to ask Web for a marker to get that does wash off. 

You find yourself questioning why some random faceless man on the internet is the motivation you have to take care of yourself. Shaking away the thought, you explore the tiny freezer stuffed with mostly frozen chicken nuggets. You frown, debating ordering takeout again. You settle on boiling noodles and smothering them in pesto and salt. 

You head out to the living room - the room is eternally cluttered like the rest of your college house. The ceiling light doesn’t work, so you and your roomies had hung fairy lights everywhere. The drapes are pulled back to let light in - the lesbian flag with markiplier’s face on it in full display to the whole neighborhood. Four couches meant you had plenty of space to sit, falling in the far corner from the only other person in the room - Aurora.

The bubbly blonde is chomping away at her food, phone propped up on the stained coffee table as some sort of video plays. You eat while listening to something about a person named ‘illuminaughty’. 

Aurora looked up from her bowl of fruit loops from the couch, she smiled through a mouthful, cheeks as stuffed as a chipmunk. "Mornin'!" she grinned, never one for table manners.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her arm, "You slept in late." 

Her eyes looked you up and down, a perfectly tweezed eyebrow raising to look at your leg. "Were you drawing on yourself?"

You looked down, a purple "L" in sharpie just barely poking out of your shorts. You feel a chill go down your spine. You are fucking mortified. 

"Uh...yeah," you say quickly, your brain scrambling for a moment to make up some lie. You couldn't just confess that you'd written on yourself and shoved the marker up your pussy just because a man you didn't even know the name of told you too. "Got bored last night, y'know."

Aurora shrugs, thankfully dropping the subject as she turns her attention back to her bowl of sugar cereal.

You promptly get, desperately pretending that she didn’t notice your sexy leg writing, and power walk to your bedroom. It takes effort to not slam the door. 

You stay in your room for the rest of the day because you sure as fuck aren’t hanging around your roomies now. Aurora would question you again - it’s Aurora, and you can’t exactly explain away wearing long pants in June.

So you break out your laptop and watch Delicious in Dungeon. You always have a habit of marathoning random shows on Netflix and it passes the time better than staring at the wall, waiting for Web to message you. 

You got popcorn as a snack, maybe you’d eat weird monster food too. Senshi does make it look delicious. You chuckle, realizing the name matches.

Hours passed and the sun is barely setting before you consider taking a nap.

 8:00 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Hello Fawn.”  

You sit up and snatch your phone up at the ping.

“ Hey. Everything good? ” - Fawnteeth - 8:00 PM

 8:00 PM - WebRigger2099 - “It’s fine, just a sudden schedule change. Things moved up quicker than I expected, but I should be done for the night.”  

“ Okay. Well… You never answered my question, Web. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:01 PM

“ Also. How do I get sharpie off my skin. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:01 PM

 8:01 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Oh Fawn…”  

“ I thought I could scrub it off, if I’m honest. I figured… you.. might… know… ” - Fawnteeth - 8:02 PM

8:02 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I do, but maybe I should let you keep it on until it fades normally. A lesson to be more careful. Better this than something more serious.”  

“ I should have figured as much. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:02 PM

8:03 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I’m just glad you didn’t shove it deeper. You can’t put things inside without a flare, it’ll get stuck. I didn’t realize I needed to explain things like that to you, but I know better now.”  

“ I know that. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:03 PM

8:03 PM - WebRigger2099 - “But not that permanent markers are hard to remove.”  

“ Yes. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:03 PM

8:03 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Fawn you are delightfully foolish.”  

“ I’m glad you enjoy my suffering. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:03 PM

8:03 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I enjoy your happiness too.”  

“ You’re good with words. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:03 PM

8:03 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Better with my hands, but you’ll learn that later.”  

“ I’ll make sure to keep that in mind. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:04 PM

“ Well. Now that I’ve made myself a fool, I hope I haven’t turned you off. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:04 PM

8:04 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Hardly. I believe we left off before at ‘what I would do to you if I was there’.”  

“ Thank you for mentioning it so.. I didn’t have to bring it up again. I’m still quite curious. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:04 PM

 8:04 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You remember the picture I sent you?”  

“ I do. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:04 PM

 8:04 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I want you to order something. I’ll pay, naturally, but I figure it would be more comfortable if I didn’t know your address so quickly.”  

“ Yeah. I think that would take some time. A toy? ” - Fawnteeth - 8:04 PM

 8:05 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I have a list. Run away with the money and you won’t hear my answer.”  

“ I won’t. But are you sure you want to invest anything in me yet? ” - Fawnteeth - 8:05 PM

 8:05 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You’ve invested at least 3 days in me with that marker.”

“ True enough. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:05 PM

 8:06 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I’m comfortable financially. This isn’t the hit it might be for a girl your age. You’ve earned some nice things.”  

“ Oh. I see. Thank you. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:06 PM

 8:06 PM - WebRigger2099 - “No using them without my permission, understood?”  

“ Understood, sir. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:06 PM

He sends you the link to an adult website. Your cheeks flush as your screen is filled with all sorts of sex toys and other lewd imagery. Your eyes flicker to your door for a moment, anxiety simmering low in your belly as the thought of someone walking into your room and seeing what you were looking at flashes through your mind. You bite your lip, feeling like a nervous teenager under your father’s roof once again.

You notice that the cart has been pre filled with a number of items: A 6 inch silicone dildo; a Lovense egg vibrator; nipple clamps; a rabbit vibrator; a bottle of water-based lube; and a set of black lingerie that matches your face mask.

Your eyes linger on the cart total. That’s more than your paycheck .

“ You sure? ” - Fawnteeth - 8:09 PM

 8:09 PM - WebRigger2099 - “If I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have sent you the link. There is a gift card code: HGJ-8734-KHW. It’ll cover the expenses and leave a little extra for you to browse and select one or two items that catch your interest.”  

“ Okay. Thank you. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:09 PM

 8:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You’re welcome, Fawn. I take care of my pets.”  

[scyllaya]

My constant problem, I replayed New Vegas (only have the battle of Hoover Dam left), and then I wanted to play more fallout.

So, I started replaying Fallout 4.... and good god, it bores me. The storyline is just not interesting (roleplaying as a mom looking for a kid is not my jam, I still wish they did not give us a backstory), and none of the other main quests around the synths is super interesting to me (also the story is not very nuanced and gives you very little option to really change the world around you, like in NV).

Like, also, even in civilised areas, like Diamond City, why is everything full of trash? I get it's post-apocalypse, but do you really want me to believe that people are just fine having garbage right next to where they sleep?

In New Vegas, it was in ruins, sure. All the furniture, floors, windows were crap, clothes were worn and old, but when people actively lived somewhere, it looked like the lived there. It was cleaned up, like people actually took the trash out and maybe even swept the floors, to make it liveable.

Why does Fallout 4 insist that just because people are used to living in a post-apocalyptic world, they would make no effort at all to keep their living space and their clothes clean and pleasant? People who have very little still try to be happy with their home, make their space nice. You might not have much, but you can always get a broom. It's what you do, especially if the world is miserable.

There is actually non-radiated water a lot of places around Diamond City, there is soap, cleaning products, why does almost everyone look dirty and homeless. You can mend your coat and trousers with some thread and a needle, why are so many people walking around with giant rips and tears in their clothes. Even if the fabric is old, you would try to patch it up. You are telling me nobody in Diamond City cares enough about their appearance to sew the sleeve of their shirt back on fully? In New Vegas, Benny Gecko and his chairmen all had full suits and they looked old and weathered, but still quite nice.

It comes back to this difference between Obsidian and Bethesda fallout logic. In the Obsidian version it really looks like people made an effort to live again, but in F3 and F4, everything still looks like the bombs fell only a few decades ago. People just keep surviving in squalor from the way they look, even in the middle of a bigger settlement. Why don't people look like they are actually living? Ruins the original fallout aesthetic? Please, let's bloody move on.

[foursaints]

do u have any random thoughts about sirius/remus?? literally anything at all- any random blurb or thought just Anything. reading ur james thoughts and i wanted to ask because i feel like any ramblings/character specificities u have about them will scratch my brain rlly good

my thesis for them is that one quote about how soulmates will eventually find each other, because they have the same hiding place

like the longer i spend with them the more i realize that i see them as recluses. perhaps not literally speaking (r & s have their own ways of attracting friends) but they are the two most isolated characters in the story to me. they’re yoked with really specific (yet opposing) burdens that nobody else is ever going to understand. they want to permanently hide their faces from the world & they have both built that kind of barren refuge inside of themselves

many other characters have stories that are built around Love, and the presence (james, lily, andromeda) or absence (regulus, barty, tom) of it, but that isn’t r&s to me. they have the Least to do with love stories because their entire lives are already so wrapped up in resolving super individual questions of freedom & autonomy & the hurt they cause & the hurt they suffered… but that’s why their love story hits the hardest, for me? they’re the least suited for it and it happened anyway.

once again my remus is like…. a city unto himself, but all internal. polite & mild mannered but also impossible to sway. i think he has the biggest imagination of all of them and it’s what lets him remain so Untouched. he’s not a ~creative~ or anything (pretty uncreative, actually) but he’s a poor german werewolf who is living a Little inside his head specifically because his life sucks so bad. he’s a boy sleeping on a shitty mattress but stubbornly imaging himself sleeping on a better one, if that makes sense, and he’ll die before telling anyone that’s what he’s thinking about.

and then sirius is a prodigal girl-son who’s part dog and still operating somewhat like an ex-cult victim after leaving their family. but they’re so beautiful & terrible & spoiled & brave that nobody can See that. sirius doesn’t need a love story because they need their brother back. and remus has so much of his own baggage, and they are both such Monoliths of independence that it’s less like they’re committed to unraveling the threads of each other’s interiority and more like they’re two cars crashing into each other then scrambling to pick apart the wreckage, holding shattered parts up to the light to examine, one crash at a time. it’s crazy.

it’s like… they make the least sense for each other, but not JUST because they’re mismatched (which they are aesthetically, but not personality-wise). it’s because they’re the two people on earth who need romantic love the least and their lives would be MUCH less complicated without it, maybe even better. but they cannot escape each other. they will never escape each other!!! because!!! they have!! the same hiding places!!!!

[vendoramachine]

random headcanons

velvet & veneer

pretty self explanatory. i needed someplace to dump all these stupid little thoughts. also, as the younger sibling of an older sister, these are all just me self projecting our relationship <3

- vel is mildly dyslexic and it’s been a sensitive topic for her entire life (yet she still makes fun of veneer for not being able to do math)

- veneer had both of his ears pierced, but his left ear eventually closed up cus he doesn’t wear his earring on that side (ifykyk)

- velvet’s anger issues has made her throw things at veneer on multiple occasions

“do you remember that time i accidentally hit you and you threw that moisturizer container at my head?”

“…..”

- both had a very intense phase where they were obsessed with pokémon, specifically, team rocket

- jesse and james were both of their gay awakenings

- velvet always used to practice painting nails and doing makeup on veneer, that they never really grew out of it (she still does it for him <3)

- they never apologized to each other properly after getting upset with each other

“…you hungry?”

“…yeah. i’ll go with you to check the fridge.”

- strangely enough, vel asks to sleep in her brother’s bed if they don’t have anything going on the next day

- vel is one of them VIOLENT ASS SLEEPERS who kicks everything within radius, and her feet are always cold as fuck

“vel… vel, stop kicking me… v-velvet, YOUR FEET ARE COLD!”

- but ven is a blanket hog so they hate sleeping in the same bed but still do it cause it’s oddly comforting for them both

“veneer, it’s cold, bro… give me the- STOP TAKING THE BLANKET!”

- for some reason, they’re always coming at each other’s taste

- “i really don’t know what you see in ritz.”

“yeah? well, at least i didn’t fall for a random fan from the crowd.”

“BITCH-“

- their favorite places as kids were costco and ikea (don’t ask i just have a feeling)

- vel needed glasses as a kid, but she always hated how they looked on her, so she never wore them. ever. her eyesight is still lowkey shit.

- they both took violin and cello lessons as kids, but they thought it was mad boring and left (they don’t remember a single thing about it)

- velvet will fuck up a raw ass steak (so raw that you might as well give her an entire fucking cow), eating it with her bare hands like a wild animal

- as kids, they always talked about bailing each other out if one got arrested (but they both got arrested so that’s out the window 😻)

- “ugh, orange is so not my color.”

“girl, fuck you mean? you look better than all the bitches here.”

- ritz and orchid always go together to visit their criminal lovers in prison

- vel hates the feeling of gel, but does it for the aesthetic (veneer hates it too)

- veneer got his drivers license after vel, but she gets the WORSTTT road rage, so he doesn’t trust her and drives them everywhere

- vel has literally almost stabbed her brother with her sharp crown thingy

- veneer constantly asks his sis what he should wear because he’s too scared of being insulted

- both of their retinas have been burned by all the flashing cameras

- surprisingly, most of vel’s high school homecoming dates were men. nobody except veneer even knew she was a girl kisser until she turned sixteen

- they have matching robes. for sure.

- veneer is a shopping addict ( velvet carries his bags every time cus she thinks his complaining is annoying )

“ugh, my arms-“

“shut up. give me your bags.”

- vel had a giant ass rottweiler when they were in middle school that always scared the shit out of veneer, so that’s why he was so fucking scared of rhonda (velvet’s dog was really sweet tho 😢)

- ven coughs so hard from inhaling too much of vel’s perfume

- vel has a crippling fear of heights and veneer is the same with small spaces

- veneer is terrified of horror movies, and vel tells him to stop being a pussy (one jumpscare and you’ll see her clinging onto her brother)

- vel laughs her ass off every time her brother is mad because she can’t take his twink ass seriously

- these two turn into monsters when it comes to nintendo games (specifically mario kart)

- vel had the nintendo switch and ven had the nintendo lite

- they bought two so that they could have separate animal crossing islands, but ended up living on the same one anyways

- veneer loves the little clink that his shoes make

- never let either of them near cinnamon rolls. ever. (their asses will demolish entire buildings for that stuff)

i’ll probably add more to these later on, so watch out! i’m working on the requests, so watch out for those too!

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #02 & #01 (Finale)

02. CZECHIA Vesna - "My sister's crown" 10th place

Decade ranking: 5/116 [Above Daði Freyr, below Käärijä]

Finland over Czechia seems like a no-brainer. Some midcarding bitches vs ~K*Ä*Ä*R*I*J*Ä~ come on, how hard can it be? Who is Czechia even for?!

ME, motherfucker. This entry is for ME, and FOR ME ALONE!!! and since this is MY ranking, that made the decision very difficult. It took me MONTHS to settle who to put at the top.

Vesna are often cited as one of the more overrated acts in the year. Overrated by whom? Who overrates Vesna? Isn't 10th a correct placement? i've met NO ONE who would even consider putting them as high as second? - and I obv don't count since it took me AN ETERITY to out myself as a Vesna stan!!

I'd counter that Czechia are THE MOST UNDERRATED by the fandom (not by placement - that is Slovenia, as always) and absolutely deserved all the good things that happened to them ^_^

So obviously, there are multiple factors at work here. The song is a fantastic earworm. Like, defo one of the best in the year? In terms of sheer replayability, "My Sister's Crown" is on the same level as "Edgar" (studio only :-/) and "Carpe Diem", and you know how much I value those. The song has four languages (including Bulgarian) and none of them clash. The lyrics are quotable and fun. This is a track with ATTITUDE and ZEST, that managed to criticize the war in Ukraine without beating us over the head with it via a poorly hidden, clumsily written political message. The song is SMART, and respects its listeners.

LOVE'S NOT A MONEY BAG BLOOD'S ON YOUR GOD'S HANDS YOU CANNOT STEAL OUR SOULS

However, going into the year, there were issues - Vesna were messy and dissonant, and the six girls often gave the impression of competing against each other for attention. They were not a UNIT. Although "My Sister's Crown" was always one of the best songs, many (including myself!) were sceptical it could come together.

And it did, spectacularly.

See, one of the things about this year is that the good performances and good songs were often mismatched. Albania, Estonia and Poland had great on-stage glam-ups, but they were severely hampered by the songs being what they were. Other countries such as France and Austria had good songs, but required really good acts to tie them together, and failed or, in case of say UK, has good acts that were performed badly.

If you made a Venn Diagram between the best songs and the biggest growers, there wouldn't be much overlap. Except for Czechia.

To quote Matteo Lane's pearl of wisdom; if there's only ONE GAY, everything gets done! Ahmad Malloun was the One Gay and channeled his bossbottom energy to fuss Vesna into shape. Suddenly, the girls were harmonious and disciplined and that made all the difference. Suddenly, Czechia had an act with a clear vision - Six women united visually through their outfits. Vesna had become a UNIT, united through sisterhood.

SESTRO KRASIVA OI TI SILYNA HOROBRA JEDINA KORONA TVOJA

It really doesn't get mentioned nearly often enough how amazing the Czech staging was. Sure, Loreen and Käärijä, both top notch. But this is my personal favourite of the bunch. It's a visually stunning, avant garde act that fits the music, that fits the thematics, that pulls you in and tells a story without overtly complicating matters. They start as a group of angry hexaplets and then burst into joyful sororian rapture at the end. The staging is both aesthetically pleasing and intuitive. They hit the gold standard for acts that everyone should try to strive for!!

There are times where I wonder whether I really should rank Vesna above Käärijä. My Sister's Crown fully morphed into a me-coded entry. And perhaps, if and when I watch 2023 again, I may do exactly that. For now though, I've decided against it. The argument for Finland is less complicated, so I went with that. And now for the winner of this ranking I am sure NOBODY saw coming ever:

-------------------------------------------------------------

01. FINLAND Käärijä - "Cha Cha Cha" 2nd place

Decade ranking: 4/116 [Above Vesna, below Chanel]

It's Käärijä, bitch.

I rest my case for ranking Finland first. I don't think anyone argues this as invalid? Good, let's pick it all apart because if there's anything Käärijä deserves, it is being talked about. 😉

So um, where to start? Maybe it's best to start with the song - "Cha Cha Cha" was that rare 1-in-500 entry. I always say that novelty always tends to become stale over time - once in a blue moon however, it endures. "Cha Cha Cha" is a novelty song that is also an excellent song in its own right, and it stil holds up very well. It's a fun song to listen to, even without all the circus and theatrics.

The circus and theatrics though, omg <3 Talk about a DELECTABLE act, once again. This is yet again an example of how staging compliments the song and makes it digestible. Cha Cha Cha is entirely in Finnish with only a few loan words tossed in - difficult to get into on paper. The staging however, brings the plot points home.

The song's about wanting to overcome anxieties to dance? So break from the crates

Confront the inner Dance Demons that harass your psyche

make your way to the dancefloor while dodging decapitation via errant wires.

and then, when you overcome all fears transition to that godly, campy key chance, ride your them, having overcome your inhibitions.

AND I GALLAVANT ON THE FLOOR LIKE A CHA CHA CHA AND MY ANXIETIES HAVE NO GRIP ON ME NO MORE

The act is BRILLIANT. The ballroom dancers with their creepy pearly-whites, the dorkopotamus choreography, the styling, the overwhelming sense of triumph once the key change hits... It's the same deal as Vesna and Loreen, just a handful of visual cues that visualize the song's themes (anxiety, rather than sisterhood or desolation) are easy to understand and don't further complicate matters. THIS is how it's done. This is how you Eurovision.

The magical ingredient that tied it all together was the man, the dad bod, the bolero himself - Käärijä. Talk about a personality so massive everything gravitated towards him. It's hard to put the extent of his likeability into words - he's just so disarmingly himself. The key here is that Käärijä doesn't see himself as anything special. To him, he's just "boy from Vantaa who likes queen Loreen". He's just self-aware enough to realize the effect he has on others, but not self-aware enough to understand what exactly endears him to so many people. So when Käärijä plays up for funsies, he magnifies all aspects of his personality which makes him... even more endearing. 😍

(it's the same magic dust that has people flock to Baby Lasagna this year, really.)

It's rare to have a contestant who managed to completely warp the meta around him to this extent. It's even more rare that the contestant in this position then loses the competition. I remember telling my friend André, who was behind on NF news, that Käärijä had won UMK, and he replied with an innocuous "great, I haven't been this excited for a contestant since Verka!". I think I realize in that moment, that was to be Käärijä's destiny. Verka was the Hot Favourite in their year, the breakout star of 2007 - and Verka placed second to a more competent entry (Molitva <3). It was in that moment that I knew that Käärijä's inevitable fate was to come second to Loreen.

And I feel like, we all knew deep down that was where we were headed. We all wanted Käärijä to win as much as we did, because we knew that he would not. He was blissfully cruising towards a loss, and that was too much of an injustice to accept it and not manifest a reality where he beats Sweden.

It even got to a point where some people are now retroactively trying push the notion Tattoo is better than Euphoria (that statement is more offensive than anything I've ever commited to print or speech, including the one time I called Lesley Roy frumpy on cam <3) and the best entry ever (excuse you?) largely because it beat Cha Cha Cha.

So if Käärijä is this great, then why the doubt? Why only fourth for the decade (for the moment)?

Well, it's same deal as Cornelia for me. The best live of Cha Cha Cha that we received was the first one, at UMK, and every other performance we've had since then was not as good. The one in Eurovision had terrible vocals and slightly less impressive staging compared to UMK. I know right? The ESC staging did MORE and yet accomplished LESS. They got rid of all the wrestling references? Where's the close-up at the end? The arena? THE LIFT?

Sure, these inaccuracies didn't detract from my personal enjoyment of Cha Cha Cha. They however did allow for Käärijä to fall behind far enough behind Loreen in the jury vote so that he could no longer catch up with her in the televote, like a death by a thousand paper cuts.

It was a great live, but it wasn't great enough to win. Eurovision Käärijä was not Käärijä at his best, while Vesna without question gave their best performance in the Grand Final. Hence my doubts.

However, I ultimately went with Käärijä anyway because he did something Vesna could not - he gave a concert in my city, and I attended. HE MADE ME LEAVE THE HOUSE AFTER DARK. And god, if you've not been to a Käârijä gig before, absolutely fucking go if you're able to - IT'S CRAZY IT'S PARTY is the perfect catchphrase for this hyperactive, sexually amorphous, adorkable gremlin.

He was his unadulterated self, slapping his belly only vaguely aware of his sex appeal, swooning over a group of Slovene attendees because they reminded him of The Love Of His Life Bojan Cveticanin, ripping one of his merch t-shirts in half and then wearing it as a jacket, airdiving a wayward balloon that floated its way on the stage. The music was also excellent. Exposed to to the FULL scope of Käärijäness, made all the good memories of the 2023 preshow flow back, how could I not rank him anywhere other than first? Maybe I will change my mind and rank Vesna first in a few years from now, but for now, let's savour him while he's still fresh in our minds.

REMINDER THAT THE 2024 ROSTER IS GREAT LARGELY THANKS TO KÄÄRIJÄ.

REMINDER THAT HE WOULD SO WIN ANY FUTURE EUROVISION IF HE WANTED TO:

(May I just name this as my fave song from the 2024 nf season MAY I????*)

He WAS 2023. He WAS Eurovision.

He may have lost the contest, but he has won life. (and paid his taxes.)

ALL RISE FOR THE BEST ACT OF 2023!

The RANKING (completed)

"Novo, Bolje" was my fave 2024 NF also-ran. Obv.

ADDENDUM: ABOUT ESC2024

Yeah, obviously i'm not going to do a pre-show ranking. With all the poison and controversy going on, it's just not the right time. I delayed this ranking specificially so that I wouldn't be temped to do the 2024 one later. (Unlike a certain broadcasting institution, I possess a modest amount of insight, foresight and self-awareness. 🙂 )

Hopefully, ESC 2024 goes down without too many incidents, and I'll able to start my post-show ranking the week after the Grand Final.

See you there, hopefully, if Eurovision isn't dead and buried by then! 💚

[dadsbongos]

can you make a Itadori x reader where reader is gyaru please? :]

yuuji with a gyaru honey headcanons :) hehe

tried to keep as gender neutral as possible!! but reader is kinda feminine-coded, reader is implied to be like early 20s or laaate teens (18-19), didn’t place this anywhere in canon - just that at some point you two meet when he goes to tokyo

Knew of the subculture, obviously, but didn’t really know anybody who partook in it - especially since he grew up in a small town in the country where nobody was so bold (unlike in Tokyo, where you meet! omg)

Actually almost made you cry (dramatic) when you two first met because he referred to it as a trend 

Verbatim, his goofy ass said “Woah, I didn’t know people still followed that trend!” to your face

He likes how proud and confident you are though!! You don’t care if other people think it looks good because you think it looks good

The only reason you even cared what Yuuji had to say was because he implied your fashion was just another fad

He also likes how passionate you are, often pointing out your idols and collecting old magazines from the gyaru boom when you were little just to keep that early 2000s-ness thriving

“How do you have no idea who this is, Yuu?! That’s Na-chan!” and he thinks you’re so cute when you’re all flustered, giving him lil history lessons, “Helloooo? Suzuki, Nana! She was in Popteen!”

Whenever he has the extra cash, Yuuji also finds it fun to buy you accessories or clothes that fit your specific aesthetic of the gyaru umbrella

Even though he totally turns into a little mess when you end up loving what he gets and are grateful (which was the end goal btw lol, he just can’t handle it)

People who don’t know you two kinda assume that you made Yuuji dye his hair pink and just garner negative opinions about you corrupting some nice young man

Not that you care, and Yuuji knows that, but he still gets upset when people have poor impressions of his hottie partner

And you never tell Yuuji this, but you also assumed that he dabbled in a bit of hair bleaching when you both met - so you ask one day if he can help you with yours and he looks at you all “ :o ?”

“Me?” 🤨👈

As if bro doesn’t have bright pink hair

He does try to help if you decide to wear colored contacts though!! And by help I mean… he wants to be emotional support 

“You’re stronger than me, babe, I would’ve puked getting my finger that close to my eye.”

Hey he tries!!!!

He also likes sitting with you to do your makeup, he finds the process very hypnotizing

Like his own personal grwm video 🙂 wow

He can just blabber on and on and on about whatever while you hum and put your face on

Sometimes for no reason at all, he’ll go from staring at you to staring at the mirror and then back at you

Like if you asked he would actually have no answer as to WHY this mf does that, he just… does

Starts carrying special metal straws around for you so you don’t have to worry about ruining your lipstick if you get a drink in public that doesn’t have a straw (all WASHED and CLEAN and kept SECURELY, don’t worry babe✋ HE’S got you)

And just in case this dude’s green flags couldn’t be more apparent - he’s the type where if you wear thigh high, or generally long, socks/leg warmers then he makes sure they’re in place all day

He gets on a knee and fixes them up so you don’t have to sit or bend down <3

[evenmorefatallyobsessed]

Prof. Gelé  AU Concept

To be clear this isn't the only Au/ comic I'll put the model in but it is the one that comes to mind for me most often.

Bleiss is born into the previous generation to RWBY's main characters like Jaune was in my Prof. Arc AU, also like him she became Glynda's partner.

There wasn't really much to say about Bleiss, not really. She Nicholas Schnee's second born daughter. She had talent, beauty and a fierce intellect. But she was also a rebellious teen with a chip on her shoulder towards Atlas.

After that one snake in the grass tried to coil around her what was his name again Assques? Anyways she broke his nose, stole his date and the next day sick of this Atlas high Society shit she left to be a Huntress in Vale, to live her own life how she pleased, free from the SDC.

And Bleiss didn't just manage she fucking flourished! Made a cute friend and admittedly unrequited love named Summer, the best drinking buddy ever in a Branwen called Qrow and finally a bitch she could count to cover her back in Glynda...

Yeah admittedly the two didn't get along too well at first... Okay more like their first two years but whatever. Anyways Bleiss fucking loved her life, shit even turned out she had a knack for this teaching shit.

though only for Hunter Academies, combat school parents were always complaining bout their brats picking up some of her awesome habits.

She loved her students, some more the others specifically of the cute girl variety.  Gawd did she love putting that brat Coco in her place. She'd have to do it again soon, the girl had been a bit too cocky recently with her fellow students after all.

But for now there were mors important things to deal with. Some fuckers had attacked Amber, she might not have fucked the girl or anything but she was a former student and nobody fucked with the brats she trained, graduated or not.

So she was suprised when the Malachites called her. The pair of girls she trained both on fighting and in bed having been excited over beating Ray's fucking brat who tried to wreck her favorite club. Thank god she gave them a few lessons on fighting from time to time.

Anyways apparently Junior got some kid some fake transcripts. A part of her wanted to grab the suspicious brat and throw him in a cell to interrogate. Too coincidental that someone attacks Amber, steals half her fucking soul and now someone else is trying to sneak into where they just so happen  to have her.

So she makes it a point to be in front of the Bullhead the faker was coming in through. She was gonna decide what to do with him once she saw him. After all her drinking buddy Qrow got in with fake transcripts after all so she had to at least pretend to give him the benefit of the doubt...

She felt a bit bad for her neice Weiss, yeah she wasn't exactly her favorite kid of her sis but still. She always did like sweet, little innocent Whitley betterbafter all.

Then her daughter started showing of her dad's side and the guilt for not paying her too much mind died...

Seriously she left the brat there in a freaking crater sniffling and... And... And who the fuck was that?

Tall, blonde and strangely getting her engines roaring was a blonde boy with deep blue eyes, and a freaking knight aesthetics and a sword and... Wait? That was him!?

Okay so the brat apparently had a semblance that influenced people, had to be that? She wasn't into men. So why did her eyes keep tracking him, right right semblance.

Well didn't matter she had her man targeted and went in for the kill. Grabbing the blonde away after old Ozzy's dumb speech. Really it was less kidnapping and more telling the blonde to follow her.

A lie about boys sleeping separately from girls and he was all too willing to follow. Really he was sorta naive for a spy/ assassin. She had him right where she wanted, in her room ready to get straight to the Seductio-Interrogation! She meant Interrogation.

Thankfully the hunky chump still believed he was in the clear so she just had to act all treachery and respectable and junk while she slowly used her ace.

Alchohol, loose lips came hand in hand with drinks after all. And here he was all trusting, with that dopey sweet smile and those lovely blue eyes and that fuckable fac- DAMMIT!

She didn't think he'd be heavy drinker like her, brat could hold his liquor... Sexy. Finally though she managed to ignore the blazing inferno that was her libido long enough to get down to buisness.

And by that she meant she broke a bottle and he reached to clean it for her drunk ass... And cut himself.

He, he didn't have aura... And then everything came out now that she was interrogating the boy about his aura outta worry more then suspicion. After all he couldn't be a spy without aura. That'd be retarded and suicidal, once she told him how she knew he was a fake he buckled and caved in...

And she listened, listened to the blonde talk about his dream, and how he was denied the chance to even attempt it. How he ran away from home, sold just about everything he owned to get his hands on the fake papers so he could risk it all on the chance to attempt to live up to his families name.

So he could be a hero instead of just his families biggest dissapointment... Their black sheep. And she made up her mind then.

Glyn would've blamed the booze, but Bleiss knew perfectly well what she wanted to do.

So she did something she really did...

Something Glynda feared her doing, she gave the blonde a private lesson... And no not the sexy kind though she was awfully fucking tempted.

But no Bleiss Gelé unlocked the blonde's stud levels of aura and then went full out drill Sargent on the sexy blonde. Most would've broke, hell many combat school graduates did under her excessive, cruel and unusual tutoledge.

It was why she was strictly teaching in Dust classes so she couldn't train the poor soft Hunters-in-training. But Jaune didn't break, oh he whined, cried and yelled, but the blonde as it turned out was made of tougher stuff then his folks gave him credit for.

And then the night was over... Dawn broke and the poor blonde bastard hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. But that was fine, she had a plan, she'd go to Ozzy, get his permission to make the kid her sexy assistant like she was gonna do for sweet lil Whitley when he came down for Vytal and then she'd... And he was gone!

Next thing she knows she's freaking out over the kid being launched into the fucking Emerald Forest! Oh Gawd! She wore him the fuck out and not even in the fun way!

She'd never been more pissed at her partner then she was at that moment as Glynda restrained her. She was freaking the fuck out as she saw the poor kid launched through the air... Then he wasn't cuz that one famous brat chucked her spear his way.

Then she directed herself his way... Did something happen between them? How? Darling must've at best had a minute or two to interact with anyone on the way here?

After several more minutes of annoyingly futile resistance she finally calmed down and accepted things as is and decided to watch Jaune try his luck during Initiation and vouch for him if he failed.

-O-O-O-

Glynda felt very... Conflicted over her partner Bleiss. On one hand she'd known her through her entire time in Beacon. She understood Bleiss even if at times if was irritating to do so.

It was ultimately why she felt secured to a point around her. Glynda knew what to expect from her... Usually. Right now as she fretted over a random boy who she couldn't have known for more then a few hours was leaving her utterly stumped.

She observed him, and frankly Jaune Arc while having high aura levels was hardly what she could call competent. The boy was tripping all over himself and getting lost in thought randomly.

He was proving to be a detriment to his partner. Then they entered that cave and he... Did he fall asleep!?

Actually looking closer at him the blonde he looked utterly exhausted and his aura levels were rather low especially given how quickly they were restoring... If she didn't know better she'd have thought the Arc had been fighting for his life, the. Night... Prior.

No...

Turning she looked to her worried partner and spoke the most dire question without thinking positive even her impulsive, sadistic partner wouldn't be so reckless.

"Bleiss what did you do?" Bleiss avoided her gaze and begun to mumble, that was never a good sign.

"What did you say?"

"I... just... Trained him a bit last night." She wasn't the only on to look horrified, Port, Oobeleck and even Ozpin looked pale at the implications. After what Bleiss considered legitimate training was illegal across the kingdoms.

"How is he alive..." She agreed with Port before turning back to the screen concerned about the boy.

Her previous concerns were utterly dashed. Anyone who could survive Gelé's training more the deserved a spot in Beacon.

-0-0-0-

Exhausted, irritated and sore were Jaune's feelings... Aura, thank merciful Oum for aura! He didn't know how he survived all these years without it. But he was sure he would've died last night if not for the soulful energy.

Miss Gelé was terrifying, at first he'd been flustered when such a pretty older woman tricked him into her room, then confused and then worried when his transcripts came to life.

But all that fell wayside when out of nowhere she stood up grabbed him, dragged him outside and told him she'd be teaching him a few of the basics a Huntsman needed to know.

He'd been about to talk back, not willing to take a hand out even if from a teache- Then she knocked him flat on his ass, walked up to him and said some kinda cool sounding words before she unlocked his aura.

Oh she explained what she did to him. But did so as she was stabbing at him with a freaking sword, darting around the place like a bullet. She even summoned monsters! Just constant pain, agony on the physical front and lectures on Grimm, Aura, Dust and a ton of other stuff he didn't know about.

All while she continued to beat his ass...

Once his aura shattered she'd beat him with fist, kicks and really painful grabs until it restored and they were back to him trying not to be impaled! Wash and rinse and repeat to sunrise! She looked happy! Excited even!

But hey, at least he had super powers now... Aura was awesome. Though right now he'd trade it in a heart beat for a coffee of even better a pillow...

But those thoughts could wait! He had bigger worries. He didn't go through all that just to g

fail Initiation! The Grimm weren't even as scary as that after all!

At some point he must've gone in a cave because currently he was running from a freaking Giant Scorpion!... Still not as scary as Ms. Gelé but this thing clearly wanted to kill him.

Aura into his feet like he saw miss Gelé doing he managed to outpace it! Pyrrha said something bout not wasting his aura but frankly he still had a lot...

Like much of the rest of the day it all happened like a blur. Ruby and Weiss eating dirt from falling from the sky and giant bird getting added to the mix and something about chess pieces.

All he knew is that they needed to get outta there fast to pass and best of all not fight the two giant monsters. That was a plan he could get behind!

And he would've, should've and was sure as hell going to. Until the ginger girl beside him called out her partner's name. He turned and saw that Pyrrha and the brunette he could assume was Ren hadn't made it before the bridge collapsed.

Really it should've been a easy choice, they were strangers, he hadn't even known Pyrrha a hour. He owed them nothing and the finish line was right there! Yep, it was a easy choice, one he didn't even need to think about... Dammit.

Pumping aura in his legs he leaped out towards them. After all what kinda person wouldn't rush in to help others? Not him that's for sure.

Exhausted, tired and only mentally there by a fraction his mind worked overtime. Instincts were in the front seat. And so he listened to them.

He knew there was no way he could tear through the things armor... At least, not with what he knew how to do. But there was something?

pumping aura into his arm he tanked a sting with his shield, the attack denting his heirloom's mechanism shifting sheath but somehow managed to feat of strength to not have his poise broken from the blow.

The Grimm's carapace was thick, to thick for a sword like his... But maybe if he stole another one of miss Bleiss's moves?

She'd been so nimble and quick during the fight, pushing aura into her legs as she explain it while beating him.

It was where he got the idea of doing it, though he had the feeling he wasn't nearly as good at it as she was. But despite how petite she was her blows were heavy... Because she put aura on the blade, heck she even swung it once and sent the energy flying.

It was that which he inspired to copy in that moment.

Pushing all the energy he could into his sword, desperation and determination were powerful motivators.

and from them he managed to once more repeat the technique Bleiss had preformed before him like her aura reinforcement.

All his aura surging out in a arc of violent energy, that cleaved into and through one of the Deathstalker's claws.

His aura shattered, he was out and now the thing was glaring at him, oh he was scared but he had three people with him. All of which seemed more worried about his auraless state then even he was. It reassured him, didn't seem like they'd run for it.

Which meant he had a chance. After all, this Grimm wasn't nearly as fast a attacker as Ms. Gelé, and Jaune had learned last night just how much being light on his feet could help.

He smiled, a crooked, sure toothy grin it's way, finding himself terrified but also excited to kill his first monster.

-0-0-0-

While they were sure Team RWBY would be the focus of their students for the staff the group their eyes were on were JNPR. And for once it wasn't because of miss Nikos.

No the reason was the blonde dancing around and avoiding the Death Stalker's strikes.

Who knew it was targeting him but didn't turn tell to run despite having no aura but instead kept it's attention so the others could wear it down.

"A Fucking Mazing..." Glynda felt a chill run up her spine as she turned to look at her partner. And what she saw terrified her.

Bleiss was unashamedly looking hungrily at the Arc.

"One fuckinh night with aura and he manages this..." Her lip bled she was biting it so hard. Wait, did she say a night with aura!? Didn't that imply he didn't have it before.

Surely not, he used aura reinforcement on his legs several times and even swung a aura Arc. Those were advance techniques, techniques her partner knew... Technique that look utterly and completely unrefined and raw being performed by the Arc as if he'd never used...

She had to do a double take, but, but he was so nimble on his feet?

"Heheh, Hahaha! He can't beat that thing in strength but if he can dodge me he can sure as hell dodge it!" That... Was true.

Actually he didn't look like he was dodging it so much as... Dancing around it's blows.

What was this, well at the least she knew one thing as Bleiss licked her lips.

She would have to keep a eye on the boy for his own sake from her partner.

[reverieblondie]

Partners

Pairing: Kaine Parker x gnSpider-person!Reader

Warnings: Kaine has a potty mouth and threatens people but other than that just fluff!

Summary: You get called into Miguel's office for a new mission, you wonder who you will get partnered with, though it shouldn't be a surprise by now...

A/N: okay I know this is the fic nobody is asking for but the heart wants what the heart wants. and I want grumpy Kaine Parker to hold my hand while he threatens to beat up people. No, I'm not going to apologize. This fic was inspired by @eughi wonderful art of Kaine! if you want to know more about this character please check out their account they are amazing!

The picture that started my obsession here

he's just so pretty!

Word count: 2,797

In the dim light of Miguel's office, you stand listening patiently as he debriefs you on your next mission. This is all nothing new to you, some dimension, a new anomaly, you have had this debriefing many times now. Though the places and targets change you know what to expect by now there is only one thing that keeps you listening intently to the drull words of the spider society's brave leader. 

Once he's done drilling into you what dimension and what anomaly you are supposed to capture, it's the moment you had been waiting patiently to hear, who your partner is for this mission. This was the thing you looked forward to hearing, Partner assignments. Would it be Jess? Webslinger? Spider-cat? You loved that little ball of fuzz. As you're cycling through the possibilities of who you could be teamed up with, it's then that your answer walks into the room. 

Kaine Parker, in his very iconic suit of red and black, it’s littered with stitches. You didn’t know if they were from getting patched up after fights or just for aesthetic purposes. But either way, they did look pretty cool. Scarlet lenses of his mask keep on you as his tall figure approaches, you know he's studying you and also sizing you up. -Honestly, it’s no surprise if he was, he sizes up everyone without needing to say a word.

Being paired with Kaine again shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. Not being exactly social and his fighting methods leaning towards more…intense, it didn’t exactly make him easy to work with. Not surprising though, The dude is the definition of intimidating with his 6’4 height and broad muscular figure, plus his brash nature made it hard for people to adjust to. Aside from Peter B and Ben, you're the only other person he would go on missions with. Opting to go alone when paired with anyone else, and if they protest they are promptly threatened. Edgy, but you kinda enjoyed that about him. 

Standing next to you now you wait patiently as Miguel debriefs him, it’s a much more summarized version than what you had to experience. Kaine is not the type to listen to a lengthy explanation, he’s more get the facts than get out kinda guy. Hell he didn’t even go to the mandatory monthly meetings.

As you stand there your senses are going haywire, looking up to where they are thrumming from you see those lenses staring down at you. Kaine seemed to have a staring problem and your spider senses always went crazy when he was. Maybe it was because of his sheer size, or it was possibly from seeing how easily he had zero qualms ripping into enemies when he deemed it necessary. Whatever it was, no other spider made your senses crazy like he did. 

Once Miguel is done with his debriefing, Kaine is already opening a portal to the dimension ready to get this over with, ruthless and efficient. What more could you want? 

“I want them captured in one piece, Kaine,” Miguel calls after us as we approach the portal. 

You give a dutiful nod in understanding, Kaine however…

“Keep telling me what to do and I will break your fucking face…” 

Luckily for you, he said it as he went into the portal, the last thing you need to be doing is trying to pull those two off each other….again….

----

“Yeah, then Kaine called like a million spiders to cover up the anomaly and proceeded to beat them to a pulp. He really can’t stand any Jackel variant.”

Munching into your burger you're still talking about your mission you had with Kaine a few days ago. Hobie and Gwen seem bewildered by your story, the young spiders having had little to no interaction with Kaine always seemed to look forward to the stories of your missions with him. Though you argue Peter B has the better ones involving Kaine. As you talk Peter nods in agreement, seeming to signal that he understands all the little quirks that make up Kaine. 

A few more minutes into your conversation Jess is strolling up to the table to join you all for lunch. Using only the context of the story she quickly deciphers who you're talking about. 

“Kaine huh, another intense mission with the scarlet spider?”

“Yeah, tasked to catch a rogue Jackal. You would think Miguel would learn not to let Kaine on Jackal missions considering how messed up they are when they arrive here. But he gets the job done and he's not a bad guy to have on a mission. Plus sometimes it’s funny when he cusses at the anomalies.”

They give you an odd look and you shrug going back to eating your food. As you're eating you're suddenly being interrupted mid bite by Gwen. 

“Okay I am sorry but I am dying to know. What does Kaine look like?” 

The completely odd question takes you back for a moment, “You know…red lenses…black and red-” 

“No, no, no,” she quickly interjects “I mean his face.” 

Without much thought, you point towards Peter, and this causes Peter to scoff, “Okay just because he's one of my clones doesn’t mean we are exactly alike…”  

Taking a second to think you nod, “You know you're right. Imagine a way cooler-looking Peter with long auburn hair and face scares.” 

The young spider's face lights up at the information and Peter shoots you a displeased look, he already gets teased enough from how Kaine and Ben are total beefcakes compared to him, but Kaine has height and cool looks beating him now.  Then you suddenly remember something. 

“Oh sometimes he forgets to shave so he will have a scruff going on, honestly looks pretty nice on him and fits the vibe.” 

This comment seems to make Jess snicker and smile towards you. “Well just wait till he finds that out…he won't shave anymore…” 

Rolling your eyes you shoot her a glare, “What's that supposed to mean?”

Peters chiming in now. “You know what she means…”

“Okay, let me just set the shit straight. Pardon the language kids. Kaine doesn't like me like that, he threatened my life the other day when I got in his way.” 

“Then why does he only partner with you?” 

“With that logic, he might like you, Peter?” 

“Woah, woah, first gross, second me and Ben are like his brothers. You're the only one not in the family he will be around.” 

“Because he has to.” you counter

“Because he wants to.” Jess persisted

Going to move to your next argument about how you two are nothing more than partners; it being because maybe he just likes your fighting style, your watch is suddenly blaring calling you in for a mission. Gwen and Hobie laugh as Jess and Peter give you a smug look as you get up to leave the table. Shielding your face from Gwen and Hobie you mouth a “Fuck you” to them. Sure Kaine's vulgar language may be getting to you but that doesn’t mean you're going to be cussing at kids…not yet at least…

As you walk to Miguel's office for your mission assignment, you find yourself walking rather briskly. Kaine might be your partner again…

The thought makes your senses haywire and you walk to the office faster…

—-

Kaine ended up not being your partner for that disaster of a mission. Laying in the infirmary your whole body still aching despite the painkillers you were given. Moving carefully you're very aware of the stitches patching up your side that ache in every which way you move. Your first mission with a different partner besides Kaine in forever and it failed ending with you both in a hospital bed. 

Lucky for you though you got to be in your own private room not having to hear the complaining of your partner's screw-ups that resulted in this. Miguel is sure to give them a long lecture when they get well…as for you you're probably going to be HQ bound till you heal up all the way. You just had to be one of the spiders without fast healing…just your luck…

Laying there you're trying to just close your eyes to try and forget about the terrible mission and your current pain but a loud bang outside makes you jump and look towards the door to the hallway. Loud yelling that sounds…familiar…Then it's that tingling of your senses only one spider can get from you. 

“Where are they?!” 

Crash, Bang, skreech!

“Wait, they are resting you can’t go in there!” 

“What are you going to do? stop me?” 

Before you can even register what’s going on Kaine is pushing through your door locking it so nobody can come in. Turning to you he looks pissed! You open your mouth to say something but he quickly silences you, 

“Shut up!” 

Next to you now; the conversion abruptly ended before it could begin, he’s looking over you examining your face and your bandages, bruises and cuts litter your body and the bandages are wrapped all around you but you're okay, you're alive. Suddenly Kaine claw like hands are gently gliding over your skin tracing the brushes and cuts as gently as possible. The touch sends shivers through your body you're hoping he doesn't notice. 

Still surveying you he takes his mask off abruptly, his scared face is scrunched in an angry expression, and deep brown eyes are staring at you studying you. You can’t help but feel more intimidated with him out of his mask than when he’s sizing you up in it. Those intense brown eyes are magnetic, his handsome features on full display. Some people might think the scars take away from his handsome face but you think it only makes him look better. Way cooler-looking than Peter… 

“Who was with you?” he says in a suddenly calm voice compared to how he came in. 

“What?”

“Dammit! Can you not hear? Who were you partnered with and what dimension was it?!” - and the yelling is back…

“Spider guy from 2782, dimension 38, vulture anomaly…” you say quickly, still confused why he was asking… 

His hand comes up to rub the top of your head gently, a very personal and friendly gesture for him. Staring intently at you, there is almost a softness in his stony eyes, it's…different from any way you have ever seen before. Your breath seems to suddenly evaporate from you. This is a completely different…loving side of him you have never experienced from him…it doesn't seem real…are you in a coma? 

“I’m going to kick his ass, then kill that anomaly…” -no this is real…

Once he's done speaking he’s stopping his rubbing on top of your head and now he gently glides his hand down to your cheek. 

“Wait-”

Before you can protest he’s already at the door unlocking it and leaving the infirmary. Gone without even looking back at you…typical Kaine… 

____

The rumors of Kaine's warpath quickly spread all over HQ and got back to you. Spider Guy got spared due to the doctors intervening after much convincing. Though all that rage ended up getting released on the vulture anomaly you and guy failed to get. 

Vulture barely made it out with his life and was in critical condition once he was turned in. Of course, this caused Miguel and Kaine to get into it. Those two seem to always find a way to fight despite them having similarities…maybe one day they could be friends? Though with how little they interact with people socially, their hanging out would properly be them just staring at each other in a room plotting how they would kick one another's ass. 

It has been a few days since the mission you were released from the infirmary but still not cleared to go back to mission work. So this means your days have devolved to you walking around HQ. Why you didn’t just take this time to sit at home in your dimension and relax you didn’t fully know. Though a part of you truly knew what you were doing, deep down you were looking for Kaine.

Of course after everything that happened and after what he did. He didn’t even come to talk to you. Or check in on how you were healing, hell everyone else did but your usual partner goes on an almost murder spree but can't bother to say hi. Though that's not his style, he's the ‘only I can kick your ass and if anyone else does it they are a dead’ kind of friend. Plus when he saw you he seemed…upset, could it be hard for him to see you inquired? For a moment you ponder the idea before quickly shaking it off.

Walking some more around HQ you find that you're in a more isolated area, a rarity for the society. Usually, everyone was so packed together so this is a welcome change of pace. Enjoying the quiet you look to the windows to observe the city but your eyes land on something else. Kaine without his mask hair tied in that half-up knot that compliments his face shape so perfectly. His brown eyes are so focused on the city, he looks lost and thought, you almost feel bad for going over to break his concentration but you haven’t seen him and you want to talk to him. 

Making your approach you plop down next to him, your eyes are on him but he keeps his forward but you know he knows it's you next to him so you skip the greetings. 

“So, I heard you went a bit overboard. Not that I'm surprised. But breaking the anomalies' kneecaps and leaving the dimension in a panic does seem like an escalation from your normal methods…”  Leaning over you try to meet his eyes but he keeps them straight ahead before he sighs, 

“I would have burned that dimension down if I needed to” Your mouth slightly drops and your eyes widen, well that's ...different… your heart racing now you feel that familiar tingling…how this guy rattles and intrigues you.

Sliding his eyes over he looks at you before he turns his head fulling, eyes tracing where your inquiries once were but have now been healing. In his eyes you think you see relief though with Kaine’s stoic expression you can never be too sure…

“Why did you do all that?” -the question seems almost stupid in hindsight. 

Kiane's eyes meet your face for a moment staring silently into your eyes before looking back out into the futuristic city. “Your my partner, and I don’t need you getting hurt because of some other idiots mistakes” 

The answer makes you laugh a bit, always so judgemental and coarse about others. Then the words you always think of asking but never do slip your lips next, “Why do you like to go on missions with me?” 

Kaine takes a minute to think before he shrugs “I guess, things are just a bit better with you around….” 

A smirk appears on your lips and as he looks back at you and huffs with an eye roll. “Shut up…” 

All you can do is slightly laugh before nudging him “Well, I like being around you too, best partner someone could get paired with.” 

You know that even if his face isn't changing in expression you know your words mean something to him. At least that's what you're hoping, Kaine is great and you're fond of him despite how others feel about his rough nature. He's a good guy even if he doesn't think so, but you are willing to take the time to convince him of that. 

A couple of minutes pass before you move to get up and give him some alone time, something you are sure he values. As you stand you feel something that stops you in your tracks. Looking down you see Kaine's large hand on yours holding you gently, moving your gaze to his face you see that he’s avoiding eye contact looking away from you with a furrowed brow and a slight pout on his lips. 

Sitting back down you hold his hand gently back and you watch as the blush slowly dusts his cheeks. You have to hold back the urge to call him cute. Holding your hand is a huge step of affection for him if you tease him now he will never be vulnerable again to you. 

Time passes and you keep your hand in his as you gently slide your thumb across his large hand. The silence is comfortable and as you turn to look at him you swear you see the slight tinge of a smile….what a softie….

[or0ch1maru]

Hey CJ! Sorry to hear that you're not having the best day :( I hope it gets better! Or the very least, please do take care of yourself and maybe treat yourself to something nice for all your hardwork!💖

I've got a fun lil F,M,K scenario for you😊Who would you F,M,K? Grimmjow, Kenpachi and Obito?

AND Obito, Hidan, Toji? ^-^

And I've got some random lil questions to ask!

- Do you bake? If so, what are your favorite things to make? If not, what are your favorite baked goods?

- if you could choose to be in any anime verse, which one would you choose and why?

- What's a favorite dish you like from your culture?

- if you had all the money in the world, what would be the first big purchase you would make?

- what is your favorite holiday? Mine is Halloween!

- a random fact about literally anything?

I heard that you're taking requests for some angst! Can I request some headcanons or drabble about kakuzu or Hidan comforting you when you're crying? Or how would the akatsuki be after they broke up with their partner? Or how would they try and get back with their s/o after a breakup? This request was inspired by the JJK post you reblogged ngl😅😅

I'm sorry that this ask became long😅😅 but I hope your day gets better!! Hang in there!!💗💗💗

hiiii bbys! Thanks to everyone who sent in kind words. I’m doing better! <3 so let’s get into it🫵🏻

•

I PHYSICALLY cannot answer those f,m,k. It pains me too much🤣 I love them all equally and there’s no way hahah

•

I hate cooking, I have horrendous anxiety being in the kitchen if I’m making something more complicated than ramen or pasta. But in regards too my favorite baked goods, definitely cream puffs! Or fruit tarts. My go to’s Everytime! Gonna buy myself a fruit tart for my birthday next month🥺

Bleach and Naruto. The aesthetic itself are just pleasing and they have so many complex characters, and the views are gorgeous lol. I could go on but it’d be too much

So, I’m part Jamaican on my mums side and part Panamanian on my fathers. I only recently reconnected with him so I have yet to try anything. Now, in regards to my favorite meal, nothing beats my mums homemade curry.

I have no idea lmfao. I’m not one to want a huge fancy house or all these fancy cars. I’d rather just pay off my bills and quit my job. Play it day by day tbh

HALLOWEEN! Every year I go to universal Orlando for HHN. I’m always back before Halloween and I dress up and do my makeup to do haunts in our yard lol. That and scary movies every day of the month and just ugh🫶🏻best holiday

For my random fact, I’ll tell you something about myself. I’m 4’10. And I love platform shoes. I own some boots and platform sandals. I hope to expand my collection!

•

I personally think every member of the akatsuki would distance themselves for starters but they’d creep back into your life slowly, but differently so let’s get intoooooo it!🫵🏻

18+, mentions of stalking,makeup sex, coercion ideations, possessive behavior and akatsuki member being mean to reader but apologizing, pervy tobi

Slight au, mentions of cellphones, phone calls, texts, etc

Hidan:

-totally gonna be the one to put as much distance between you and him. Especially when he knows he was the one to fuck things up

-but he somehow always knows where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing

-if he hears you’re hanging out with another guy, no matter how much time has passed since the split, just know you’ll receive some drunk texts from him. Maybe him even showing up to your place

-he’d be mean at first, talking about how nobody could treat you better than him, or fuck you better than him

-would somehow end up on top of you, showing you how much he missed you by stuffing your cunt

-if you ever want to see him cry, just know this is how. He’d be whispering such filth into your ear, burying his face in your neck to hide his tears and hopefully stifle the way his voice cracks when he admits he’s sorry and how he can’t go on without you

Kakuzu:

-he’d be the silent ex. Would only pay attention if someone brings you up in conversation, mentioning what you’re doing or how you’ve been

-Kakuzu would check in on you every once in a while. He’s a grumpy old man who’s soft spot was for you and you only

-if he realized or you told him you’re not doing okay. He be over to your place within the hour to comfort you.

-if it ends with you two back together, he’d be the happiest man alive. Yet he wouldn’t voice it. Ever

-would send you money to spoil yourself, he’d always tell you it’s not to win you back but deep down he hopes it would change your mind. Isn’t the type to beg for you to come back. He wants you to come back to him only if YOU want too

Konan:

-such a sweetheart, she’d give you anything you want. If you tell her you two can stay friends, she’d be the best friend a person could ever ask for

-if you tell her you want space, she’s more than happy to give you as much space as you need

-if you tell her to fuck off and never speak to her again, as painful as that would be for her. She’d do it. She just wants you to be happy, even if that means without her

-is always super kind and respectful if you two run into each other in the village but wouldn’t go seeking you out without reason

-just like Hidan, always knows what you’ve been up too. Not because she’s following your every move, but sticks close by in case something happens to you (she hears updates from your friends because they adored her. Thought she was the best gf you’ve ever had)

Pain:

-I believe he’s similar to Kakuzu. Pain would distance himself for his own sanity. Knowing you’re off being happy without him, kills him

-only speaks to you if you reach out to him first. Wouldn’t even ask how you’re doing if you didn’t say something to him beforehand

-misses you dearly, but knows space is the best option for the two of you

-wouldn’t hesitate to make your new bf ‘disappear’ when he hears you’re seeing someone new. Hoping that you’ll eventually come running back to him if your new partners keep ghosting you suddenly

Itachi:

-is super respectful, as much as he’s hurting inside, the break up would never turn sour

-no fighting, screaming, or hurtful words. Gives you a kind smile every time he runs into you in the village. A hug or a shoulder/head pat only if you’re comfortable

-would remain your friend afterwards. Being very respectful towards your new partners if you start seeing anyone. Doesn’t go out of his way to be rude or cruel to either of you

-doesn’t hesitate to give you a shoulder to cry on if you need someone to talk too. Even if you’re venting about your new man

-makes sure you always have everything you may need or want and that you can always rely on him if something goes wrong

Kisame:

-gets over the split relatively quick. Is content to stay your friend, but if you decide to distance yourself completely. He’s fine with that as well

-it would take him a long time to delete pics and videos of the two of you just because you were the best thing to come into his life.

-when the time comes that he decides to delete everything out of his phone, he’ll keep a picture or two just for comfort

-looking at it when he has a bad day or to remind him that there’s still good in the world.

-would be nice to your new partner when introduced but would knit pick everything about him. Knowing that no one will treat you like he did

Deidara:

-you were his first real relationship and would be devastated about it. Dei would give you all the space in the world after the break up but the second you reach out to him, he wouldn’t hesitate to slowly make his way back into your life

-he would ask to hang out with you on the days you were free,

-would make up random excuses or reasons for popping by your place even if he had no reason to be in the village in the first place

-would leave you clay gifts on your windowsill once in a while, especially since you loved his art so much

-would leave sweet notes as well. Something like “miss you” or “have a good day” etc

Sasori:

-I feel like he wouldn’t truly register it at the beginning.

-would kinda just shrug shit off. Wouldn’t pay much mind to you for a while, weeks, maybe a few months afterwards

-he’s not rude, or nice, he’s neutral about things. He’d reminisce about the times you shared but it wouldn’t make him sad or depressed

- if you reached out, calling or texting him, he’d reply. Out of respect mostly. Sasori would ask how you’re doing and would be glad to know you’re doing good

Tobi:

-he’d be devastated. Come on, like look at him

-would distance himself from his comrades outside of missions, he’d put on a brave front in front of them when it came to work but if he’s alone. He’s breaking

-once he’s gotten the crying out of his system he would not hesitate to keep tabs on your every move.

-he may or may not even cause something just so you have an excuse to come running to him. Knowing he’d be the one to fix things and make things right

-would be subtle about his obsession with you. Would run into you in town on more than one occasion, using the same old excuse of “didn’t think I’d run into you here”

-keeps all the nudes and videos you sent him, using those to make himself cum. Or better yet, the home movies you two made

-he knows it’s wrong, but that’s not going to stop him. Bites down on his bottom lip to keep himself quiet as he strokes his length, listening to the way you’d sound as you took him to the hilt

-totally wouldn’t sneak into your place while you’re out to steal a pair of your panties, or a shirt of yours just to have your scent.

Zetsu:

-is more like Sasori tbh. At the start that is. Especially black Zetsu

-I think at the beginning it wouldn’t affect him much and if it did, it’s mostly white Zetsu. He’d let out a few tears, asking where and why you’ve run off. Leaving him behind

-while black Zetsu’s mean about it. Talking about how you’re a no good person to just up and leave him(he may or may not be delusional)

-he’s stalking you. Full blown

-even if he’s off on his own missions, he’d track you down and watch you for a while before going off. Acting as if nothing happened.

-would not speak to you which as weird as it sounds I feel is on par with him. Would maybe send a single text back if you messaged him but apart from that it’s as if he’s vanished completely. To you that is, you don’t know that he’s been inside your house, touching your belongings or following at a distance as you go on a date with to your new bae

-only to find a text from an unknown number of you and your bf at the cafe in town. It’s his way of showing you, you can’t fully get rid of him

•

I hope you loved this. Now I want some requests of crying Hidan x reader, perv tobi and stalker zetsu. Didn’t realize how hot those are lol

[thornybubbles]

You Give Love a Bad Name (Yandere Diego x Backstabber Reader)

NOTE: I didn’t write anything for the entire month of October and I feel awful about that. Imagine me, a lover of horrifying JoJo fanfics, not writing anything for the Halloween season! Unforgivable! So I’m gonna try to make up for it all this month starting with this story. Please accept this as part of my apology! 

NOTE 2: I don’t know why I keep pairing poor Diego up with criminal Readers. It's an aesthetic, I guess. 

Warnings: YANDERE, possessiveness, very dark themes and implications, degradation, violence towards Reader, threats, and other forms of unpleasantness. Also Reader is kind of an asshole. I head canon that yandere Diego is a lot wilder and meaner than regular Diego (not that regular Diego was nice). No smut!

Diego hated himself for letting you into his heart. He wanted to hate you, but he couldn’t muster the proper level of emotion. He loved you. He loved you dearly, and that was the problem. You had somehow wormed your way into his heart. You were so sweet to him the day the two of you met. He’d been injured and you showed up out of nowhere wanting to help him. He shooed you away, his pride and distrust of other people preventing him from accepting help from anyone. You insisted and he bellowed at you, demanding that you leave him alone and mind your own business. You started bawling then, not because of him yelling at you, but because, in your own words, 

“I can’t bear to leave you like this! You’re bleeding so badly! Please, please let me help you!” 

He sneered at you telling you to just shut up and aid him then. Anything to stop your infernal squalling. How your demeanor changed. You were so happy that you’d been allowed to help him, smiling sweetly as you bandaged his arm. You looked so cute that he couldn't stand to look at your face. You didn’t ask him questions about how he got injured or pry into his personal affairs. Instead you talked about how you’d been a long time fan of his and had followed as many of his achievements as you could. You told him that this was the first time you’d been able to actually watch a race that he was in and you were so excited about that. 

Diego was used to having fans that adored and worshiped him, but you were something else. No other fan could point out maneuvers that he used to achieve his victories, but you did. You didn’t just adore him for his achievements alone, you actually studied his methods. You told him that you became a fan because you wanted to watch him succeed. Never in his life had Diego felt so… supported. Others had been lured to him for his looks, charm, and achievements alone, but you seemed drawn by merely adoration of him as a jockey and your joy at watching him win. 

It flustered him and he hated that. Diego Brando was the one that flustered, not the one who got flustered. 

How dare you make him feel like this…

Thereafter you became an absolute pest. He saw you nearly everywhere he went and he didn’t know how to feel about it. He jokingly accused you of stalking him and the shocked and ashamed look on your face had him laughing. Finally he had made you blush, and it was the loveliest sight he’d ever laid eyes on. You had him, fully and completely, and he found himself looking forward to seeing your excited face in the crowds. Seeing you like that, waving at him from among the rabble, it never failed to have him smiling. You were like a rare jewel shining through piles of trash. Your very presence made him feel uplifted. Even when he wasn’t doing well in the race, you were there to offer your support. 

“So what if you lost your place!” you said. “You’re Diego Brando! You’ll do what you have to to regain your spot in the race and gain five more places in the process! Nobody can keep you down!” 

Then you’d hold your little fist in the air and cheer and another crack would form in the shield that Diego had put around his heart. 

Some time after that, you confessed to Diego. You told him that you’d had a crush on him since you first saw his picture in the newspaper, but meeting him in real life and seeing his feats for yourself, actually getting to speak to him in person… it turned your crush into full blown love. Many women confessed their attraction to him before, but it was always limited to his looks or fame. Other than his mother, no one had ever said they loved him before. It shattered the shield around his heart completely and he went weak in the knees. 

He confessed his own love for you that day, unable to hold back his feelings anymore. He’d given up on ever feeling loved again after his mother’s death. He’d given up on love in general. Love was a weakness after all. It made people do foolish things. Made them sloppy and stupid. Love could destroy a person’s life. How he wished that he’d remembered all that later… when you betrayed him. 

It happened not long after he obtained Scary Monsters. He was so eager to go and show it to you. He longed to see your shocked face become an expression of amazement and adoration. He wanted to stand in place and watch as you marveled at his new power. He wanted to see the glimmer of tenderness in your eyes as you stroked his face and whispered words of encouragement. 

“Look at you, Diego! My God! You’re unstoppable now!” he imagined you saying. 

But you weren’t there. He couldn’t find you at the checkpoint. He searched the inns, saloons, shops of the town, but you were nowhere to be seen. He started asking the other racers if they’d seen you. No one seemed to know who he was talking about. Dread filled his heart to bursting. Where were you? Had something happened? Were you ill? Injured? Lost? Had someone done something to you? He’d bloody murder anyone that laid a hand on you!! Desperate, he started asking the townsfolk in hopes that one of them knew something. Fortunately, most of them seemed to know who you were, but the looks they exchanged with each other when Diego mentioned your name told him that something was wrong. Very wrong. 

The townsfolk had a very interesting story to tell about you. Con-artist. That was the word they used to describe you. They told him about all the other men that you had warmed up to, how they all found themselves in the same predicament he was in. They told him about how you would seek out wealthy, famous, desirable men and make them fall for you. Then, when they least expected it, you would rob them and leave them with empty wallets and broken hearts. Diego could have massacred the entire town right then and there. He didn’t want to believe that they were talking about you. Not his sweet, innocent darling! Not the angel that was always there for him, uplifting him, encouraging him, loving him… He wouldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe it. He ran back to his hotel room and searched through his belongings. It wasn’t true! You wouldn’t do that to him! Not to him! 

Half of his money was missing along with the necklace that he’d bought for you. You’d been kind enough, at least, not to rob him completely blind. How had he not noticed that his money bag was lighter than usual? When did you even have time to do this? You must’ve snuck into his room when he was practically tearing the town apart looking for you. You must have been lying in wait, watching for the moment that he left his room so that you could slip in and help yourself to what didn’t belong to you. Diego searched his bag again, hoping beyond hope that he’d just miscounted his cash and misplaced the necklace… and he found the cute little message you’d left for him,

“It’s been fun, Diego, but I’m afraid it’s time for me to head out. No hard feelings, handsome! Don’t be too mad at me!” 

It felt like the room had fallen away, leaving him in a black void and the only thing he could see was the letter he clutched in his trembling hands. His mind was racing with all manner of dark and murderous thoughts. It had all been a lie, a cruel, hateful lie! He never meant anything to you at all. He was just another mark for you, wasn’t he? Another notch in your damned belt! He should have known. He should have been able to see through your act. He’d imagined you to be some kind of jewel amongst filth, but he forgot that ALL humans were filth! Well you certainly reminded him of that, didn’t you? Diego’s fury-fogged gaze dropped to the bottom of the letter where you had the utter nerve to leave a mocking lipstick print on the paper. 

You sealed your fate with that little stunt. 

Diego held the note close to his face and breathed deep of your scent. He hadn’t fully grasped all of Scary Monsters abilities just yet, but he did know how to utilize its heightened sense of smell. He could smell the oil in your lipstick and the hint of your breath still lingering on the paper. You’d had tea instead of coffee that morning. He also caught a whiff of your perfume. It was the one that he’d bought you, imported from France and very expensive. At the time he thought you were worth it…

…Your scent was fresh. Very fresh. You were still in town. You hadn’t left yet. 

Diego slammed the door to his hotel room open, startling a young woman with a cart full of food trays. He sniffed at the air frantically, looking for all the world like a wild dog on the hunt. The woman started to speak to him, to ask him if he needed anything, but when he turned his yellow-eyed gaze on her, the words caught in her throat and she could only let out a tiny peep of surprise. His expression was that of a feral beast and he was panting ragged breaths as if he’d been running for miles. He sniffed the air a few more times before rushing past her. The woman pressed herself against the wall, barely avoiding being knocked down as he rushed down the corridor. She stared after him in confusion. She recognized him of course. Most of the hotel girls knew of the famed Diego Brando, but she was fairly certain that his eyes weren’t yellow. 

Was it even possible for humans to have yellow eyes? 

-----------------

You sighed as you climbed into the stagecoach that was to take you out of town. You felt a little guilty, you had to admit. Diego seemed so enamored with you, much more so than you expected of him. Watching his haughty, bitter demeanor melt into something soft and loving kinda had your heart pounding. It was a shame you just didn’t feel the same way. You would never forget that story he told you about his mother. You really wished that he’d never opened up that much to you. Poor Diego. He would be devastated at your betrayal, no doubt. Knowing that would eat you up inside, but you were sure that the fat stack hidden in your bag would ease your heartache. 

“Hello, dearie.” 

You were not expecting to ever hear that voice again. You looked up to see Diego staring at you with a blank expression from the seat across from you. When did he get into the stagecoach with you? Was he already in there waiting for you? 

“Diego!” you said with a start. 

“I got your note,” he said, holding up the note you’d left him and giving you a joyless smile. “I couldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye in person.” 

Your eyes darted around the inside of the coach, looking for anything you could use to bend the situation into your favor. Diego kept talking. 

“I was so worried about you, sweetheart.” he said with a mock pout. “I couldn’t find you anywhere. I was afraid something awful happened to you.” 

Your eyes fell on the bandages on the sides of his face. Was he injured? It didn’t matter. It was something you could use. Show him sympathy. Make him forget his anger and remember how good your hands felt against the skin of his face. That’s usually all it took for most. 

“Diego, what are those bandages for? Did you hurt yourself?” you said, giving him a pitiful look of concern. 

You reached up to him, hands coming up to touch the bandages. Your fingers had barely grazed the gauze of each bandage before Diego uttered an inhuman growl, 

“Keep your filthy, thieving little rat claws to yourself!” 

You pulled your hands back as if he’d tried to bite you, and held your arms to your chest to protect them. 

“Diego, please, you don’t understand…” you began but he sharply cut you off. 

“Oh, yes. Let’s hear it! Tell me all about what I don’t understand! What sob story will it be this time? Will it be the one about your dying aunt who was like a mother to you? Will it be about how you want to pay off your father’s gambling debts? Or will it be the one about you needing money to send your younger siblings to school? Or maybe it will be the one about buying shoes for orphans? Does that cover everything or will I be getting a new story this time?”  

You gave him a pleading look and tried to think of something, anything to tell him. You didn’t know what to do or say. Most of your victims were too busy wallowing in heartbreak to bother confronting you. Diego was the only one that went so far as to track you down. It was unexpected, but it wasn’t a scenario that you were completely unprepared for. 

“Floyd, Fleetwood, The Allman Brothers, Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young…” he listed off the names of some of your previous victims. “Do those names ring any bells? Including me, was that the full list of your targets or am I missing some?” 

He was, actually. He left out Morrison and Dylan, but you weren’t about to correct him. While he fumed you reached into the hidden pocket on the inside of your shawl and grasped the grip of your pistol. 

“How did it feel to know that you got one over on the great Diego Brando?” he asked. “Did it give you a little thrill? Did it give you your adrenaline fix? Did you have a laugh or two at my expense?” 

“Diego, please. I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t needed the money!” You pleaded in a last ditch effort to sway him. “I’ve fallen on hard times!” 

“Hard times?” Diego scoffed. “I doubt that you’ve experienced any hardship more serious than deciding what to have for breakfast in the morning!” 

His eyes darted to your throat for some reason. He thought he saw movement there but he wasn’t sure. He tried to focus his blurred vision on the glimmer of something around your throat. Ah. You were wearing the necklace he bought for you. He smiled bitterly at the sight of it. 

“The necklace looks lovely on you, dear. I was trying to keep it a secret from you until I was ready to give it to you, but it seems you’ve gone and spoiled the surprise. It goes well with that new outfit though. Blue was always your color. Tell me, did you buy that with my money?” 

You drew your pistol and aimed it at his chest. 

Diego’s instincts kicked in at the sudden movement. He saw something shiny in your hand, but couldn’t quite make out what it was. Though that newly awakened, primitive side of his brain was screaming at him that what you held in your hand was a weapon and he was in danger. 

You didn’t want to do it, but he’d cornered you, and cornered rats have a tendency to bite. You barely had time to cock the gun before Diego slapped it out of your hand with a speed you hadn’t expected from a human being. The gun flew out of the window of the coach and you heard it clatter against the ground a moment later. It’s a wonder it hadn’t gone off. The state of your gun was the least of your worries as Diego swung backwards with the same hand that had knocked the gun out of your hand and backhanded you across the face. You let out a yelp of pain and shock and shrank in on yourself, curling up in the seat and shielding your head with your arms. You could feel your hair dangling down in your face. Diego had slapped you so hard that your hair came undone. You could feel blood trickling out of one of your nostrils and you really hoped he hadn’t broken your nose. Your face stung like hell. 

You felt yourself being grabbed by the shoulders. You shrieked as Diego yanked you up to face him, pulling you out of your protective ball. 

“D-Diego! Please! Don’t h-hurt me!” you begged. 

“Hurt you?” Diego said, voice suddenly sounding deep and distorted. “Hurt you? After what you did to me, I should KILL YOU!!” 

His voice came out in a roar that shook the coach and vibrated throughout your entire body. 

You were crying now, sobbing and pleading for him not to kill you. Diego just stared at you with wild eyes. The color of his eyes seemed off and his pupils looked odd. You don’t know if what you were seeing was the result of the abject terror that Diego had instilled in you or if there was something strange going on with his face. The corners of his mouth seemed to shift under the bandages and stretch up the side of his face far further than they should go. His lips, and patches of skin around his face and neck seemed oddly scaly. And his teeth… Why did they look so long and sharp? 

“W-what’s happening to y-you?” you asked. 

He didn’t answer your question. He was too busy panting like an animal and being hypnotized by the trickle of blood coming from your nose. 

“Does it make you feel accomplished, knowing you humiliated me like that? I can practically hear everyone laughing at me behind my back. How they’ll look at me when I pass by and whisper to each other about how I fell prey to a con-artist and then they’ll snicker like schoolchildren. I won’t allow it. Do you hear? I won’t allow you to add me to your lists of conquests! You won’t place me on your trophy shelf! What’s worse is that you have the nerve to pull a gun on me! Were you thinking of adding murder to your list of crimes? I’ll kill you first! Love, you have no idea how hard it is for me to keep myself from biting your pretty head off…” 

You sobbed as you listened to his mad rant and watched at his face and body continued to contort into something monstrous. 

“Please don’t kill me…” you sobbed. 

Your plea seemed to snap him out of whatever daze he was in and his eyes lifted from the trail of blood from your nose to your tear-filled eyes. 

“I can’t…” he whispered. “I should. Believe me I’m angry enough… but I don’t think I could ever live with myself if I ripped you apart like I want to. And prison’s too good for you. You wouldn’t stay there long anyway. You’d just flutter your lashes at the nearest gullible guard and you’d be back on the streets in no time without ever going to trial. Isn’t that right?” 

“Diego… you’re hurting me…” you said in a pained gasp. He was gripping your shoulders so hard. 

“Oh poor thing.” He mocked. “Well you hurt me first, you lying, conniving little harlot and, believe me, you’ll pay for it! I’m not letting you go… I still want you. Damn my own foolish heart, I still want you. So you’re going to stick by me just like you used to. But you’re not getting out of your punishment. As much as I love you, I won’t let you get away with what you did to me. I want you at every checkpoint singing my praises louder than ever before. I want you throwing yourself at my feet even if it means kneeling in filth. I want you to do it where everyone can see you, so you can see what it feels like to have everyone laughing at you. You’ll be at my beck and call, my personal servant. If I can’t have you as my lover, then you’ll be my dog! You’ll grovel before me, beg for my attention, and my kindness, and I’ll give you none of it until I think you’ve earned it! That’s right, there will be no more perfumes, jewelry, or fancy clothes for you. From now on you’ll have to earn that, too. I’ll show you exactly what it means to fall on hard times!” 

This couldn’t be happening! Not to you! You were supposed to be on your way to the next town and the next poor sap to con. You weren’t supposed to be here now in the clutches of a madman who seemed to be turning into a monster. 

“Don’t think for a minute that you can run either.” Diego continued. “Try to escape and I’ll find you. I’ll hunt you down just like I did today, only when I find you again I will kill you! I’ll kill you and anyone you try to get help from.” 

“Please, Diego,” you sobbed. “I can pay the money back! I can--!” 

“This isn’t about the damned money!” he thundered. 

You cringed at his tone, afraid that he’d hit you again. 

“I can make it up to you! Please, Diego! I’ll do anything!” you said, hoping beyond hope that he would listen to reason. 

Diego grinned revealing rows of jagged, animalistic teeth. You just stared at them, unable to believe what you were seeing. 

“Good. Glad to hear it.” he sneered. “You can start by giving me a little kiss.” 

You stared warily at his mouth and wondered if he could actually bite off your head, like he’d suggested before. 

“Well?” Diego growled, impatient with your hesitation. 

You leaned forward and planted your trembling lips against his. The skin there felt rough and leathery. You didn’t have time to think about it as Diego abruptly dragged his tongue across your face, lapping up the blood from your nose. You groaned in disgust and Diego chuckled. 

“Again. Kiss me again and this time do it like you bloody mean it!” 

You obliged, pressing your lips against his and his mouth all but engulfed you as he turned the simple kiss into a full on make out session. You whimpered pathetically the entire time. 

Diego pulled away, his face back to normal. 

“Well, that’s a start.” he quipped. 

------

Diego walked out of the stable after putting Silver Bullet away. Like clockwork, you shoved your way out of the crowd and landed on your knees at Diego’s feet. He turned, giving you a blank look. You didn’t look up. You didn’t want to see that triumphant look in his eyes. You also didn’t want to see the looks of disgust and pity on the faces of the crowd. It was bad enough that you could hear the things they were saying about you. 

Pathetic.

Desperate. 

Filthy.

Annoying. 

At every checkpoint, Diego had you playing the part of his pitiful little fan that followed him everywhere he went, desperately seeking his attention. It was beyond humiliating, but you didn’t have a choice in the matter. Diego warned you that if you wanted to eat today, you’d better put on a good show like the obedient little dog you were. 

“You were wonderful out there today, Diego!” you said, using the tone you’d always used on him back when you were trying to win him over. 

Laughter erupted from the crowd and your face heated up. You lowered your gaze even further so that you were staring at the mud that stained your knees. Diego ignored the crowd and tenderly grasped one of your hands. He pulled you up from the dirt, earning a murmur of adoration. 

How kind he was to give that filthy street walker even a modicum of his time. 

“You don’t look like you’ve eaten in a while,” He said in a soft tone that had tears forming in the corners of your eyes. 

He was horrible. The living definition of a monster. How could anyone buy into this act of fake kindness he was putting on? He used a thumb to wipe the tears from your eyes, smearing some of the caked up dirt on your cheeks. 

“Don’t cry, now. Let’s get you fed.” 

He pulled you along and you followed behind him, head lowered. Diego had ruined you. The days of holding your head high were long over. You would never get your dignity back after this. The only thing that concerned you now is whether or not Diego would let you sleep in a hotel room or stick you in the stables tonight.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY ANDERS *  assorted dialogue from dragon age: II

i think something's moving!

i hear it's quite popular.

that's not strictly accurate.

i'm always happy to see your face... but it seems particularly lovely right now.

we've hardly met and i feel like i know you. am i making you uncomfortable?

you do have an opinion on mages, don't you?

can i ask you something, [name]?

i think we're better off focusing on the task at hand.

i shouldn't be seen here.

i've tried not to shout it from the rooftops.

i know it isn't my place to criticize, but...

oh, i'm sure i can get more creative.

a year ago, maybe we could have had something.

that's not what i was going to ask.

i need your help again. can we speak privately?

i'm your worst nightmare!

you're not nearly as selfish as you pretend.

i'm right here, you know. should i stick my fingers in my ears until you're done?

they never learn, do they?

not all mages are weak.

go ahead. say it.

you specifically don't mention me.

why would you shy away from loving someone just because they're like you?

i don't know how you live the way you do, blithely ignoring the consequences of your actions.

i'd like to attend the funeral.

anyway, you wanted to talk to me?

i can't believe you're still not taking sides.

i would drown us in blood to keep you safe.

i keep thinking i know you from somewhere.

we have important things to do. why do they insist on interrupting?

i don't think they're here to chat!

you take a grave risk in trusting me.

it's not a good feeling, you know.

i don't know whether to cherish every moment i am with you, or fear for you to have me there.

how can you have so much faith? does nothing bother you?

it doesn't matter. nobody deserves that.

you've messed with the wrong mage!

everyone, over here!

some things are worse than death.

want to see what's under these robes?

this is so not working!

so you're telling me you have no opinion on the matter?

where did you learn your magic?

do you ever have any regrets?

it was meant well. i don't know if that's enough to forgive me.

you don't like me, [name]?

my bruises have bruises!

i think i broke every bone in my body.

i'm not sure how much more of this i can take.

no! don't be dead! please!

any suggestions?

are you sure you want to encourage me? i might be about to confess my undying love.

you didn't have anything to do with this?

my face is the least of my concerns right now.

you're giving me that look again.

i'm a mage, not a miracle worker.

if someone here tries to hire me again, i'm leaving.

don't mind me. i'm just going to hide my face for a while.

it is still a thrill to turn and see you beside me.

your support has meant the world to me.

sometimes i miss being that selfish.

what makes this relic of yours so valuable?

you've got a real chip on your shoulder, you know?

i just figured some of them would say no. for aesthetic reasons, if nothing else.

i don't see how that's any of your business.

why don't you shout? i don't think everyone heard you.

[akria23]

Suspect / Character Chart Update:

Nobody:

So this week’s episode moved us off the path of Nuth as he claimed that Nant committed suicide - including some possible flashbacks of the body. This moves my Nobody theory - specifically Nobody: Theory A into sus rank 1.

Do I believe that Nant committed suicide tho? No I’m not convinced yet. I do think he’d have a lot of reasons for suicide - which I pointed out the first time I posted - but there’s so many questions left with that option. Where’s the body? Did nuth hide it? Why? What about a suicide note - not everyone leaves one but it seems strange of Nant in particular to not want to get out to his brother what he’d never been able to say while living.

I do think this does move up other aspects of the Nobody theory tho - they confirmed debt collectors so maybe Nant faked his death & went into hiding, or they harmed him. We still have the possibility of psychological break & Nont and Nant being the same person who just suffered a traumatic experience or drug usage that caused a break in his psyche - I still don’t want this the most but I can see it being this cause it is the safer route to end us off with.

Nuth:

Nuth has moved down in the ranks to the number 2 spot. Hes not lower because while he claims that Nant ruined his life and committed suicide all of his flashbacks of Nant so far hasn’t shown Nant be violent or harmful towards him. He’s pictured supportive, sexualized, and a hurt Nant. That’s not to say Nant couldn’t have harmed him or even made his life worse - it’s just a possibility that Nuth isn’t a reliable source even his flashbacks. We’ve seen him have hallucinations so it’s difficult to say what he recalls or sees as 100 proof of things happening or have happened.

Also…did they ever tell us what the bloody hand print was from… If Nant was selling drugs to pay his debt is it the same ppl Nuth is selling for? Theres also these lines or cages placed over Nuth sometimes and I’m not sure if it’s metaphor for criminality or a metaphor for how trapped he feels. There’s still one of two threads they can pull and circle back around to it being Nuth so he stays on the list.

Prom:

It’s still all vibes no evidence. He doesn’t slip, he doesn’t miss. He’s almost the perfect specimen partner wise in the sense that he has an ability to read Nont in a way no other does. He’s not overbearing, or controlling. He doesn’t try to change Nont’s mind after boundaries are set. Anything Nont says he needs or wants, Prom goes along with - an active supporter (plotting, research, giving him the weapon). But that’s the thing, Nont is more honest with him than he is with any other characters - and he has to see the frayed edges but he doesn’t pull Nont back at all. He enables…he’s supporting his descent.

The question I’m lost on is why. Maybe it’s empathy, relatability- I too am sadistic in my way, I too have rage, I wanna kill someone - and because he’s so good at repressing he admires & desires Nont who doesn’t repress who just acts and reacts. And this is what makes them revenge lovers.

But there’s still always that niggle at my brain that reminds me that Prom inserted himself and then had had influence over the case ever since. The show is always highlighting something off when Prom is in the mix - the music change, the aesthetic of the room, the way they position his def in scenes at the Playboyy with Aob & Puen (which I’m sure is to show us how he’s a source that benefits from the competing nature). He still feels like an invisible hand, still feels like he’s playing chess and seeing moves ahead of his lover. There’s so much mystery surrounding him still that’s it’s difficult to move him off the suspect board.

Porsche:

I still can’t tie Porsche into his death so he stays at number 4 ranking but I still wonder if his sugar daddy had anything to do with Nant that would’ve set them into a competitive nature for his resources and therefore enemies…that’s my mind working theories from what the story has given us thus far tho.

[tf2fansderogatory]

guys hear me out. if the mercs were tf2 animatronics what would their mechanics be

my guy you just gave me an entire AU idea

RED and BLU are rival entertainment companies, both build animatronics that perform at restaurant locations and can be rented, FNAF-style. their animatronics are so similar that one *has* to be ripping off the other, but nobody knows which is the original and which is the copy so people just pick which one they go to based on the color scheme and aesthetic

Scout has two main functions; waiter/server, and entertainer via sports. he has impeccable balance and sure footing, making him perfect for carrying plates and other dishes across a room filled with rambunctious, running children. when it comes to entertaining, he has an entire portion of his memory bank dedicated to just about every major sport in existence. his AI’s pretty good in that if the kids don’t understand some of the rules for a game, he can easily roll with it and come up with rule modifications on the spot to make sure the games are as fun as possible. normal racing is a popular game, especially since Scout’s fast. a lot faster than he lets on.

Solly works as one of multiple story-teller bots, specializing in exciting, action-filled stories- 9 times out of 10, war ones. when he was being built, the poor engineer/mechanic/all-around technician (Miss Pauling) was too sleep deprived to come up with many ideas beyond war stories. Soldier also promotes general physical health, and will usually run through “training exercises” (fit for kids) with everyone in the room after the story is over. a lot of the parents think that only the boys would like Soldier and some of them actively discourage their daughters from visiting him but they’re DUMB. at least half of the crowd of yelling, confidence-boosted cadets is eager young girls raring to fight and prove that they can do anything the boys can. sometimes the kids’ll form teams and play-fight/do a mock war. Solly makes sure that nobody gets injured and everyone knows how to “fight” without actually hurting someone. he knows how to do it perfectly, after all.

Pyro does arts and crafts, sometimes with Demo or Engie. they also, by nature of their mute design, encourage kids to be more understanding of people who don’t talk for whatever reason, which then carries over to being more understanding of anyone not like them. Pyro’s room is by far the most colorful; walls painted like Pyroland, cork boards absolutely littered in drawings the kids have given them, the shelves in his personal room (basically a closet where he goes to deactivate at the end of the day) filled with trinkets the kids made. their room is also connected to a small outside area with a fire pit. it’s nice for kids to relax with him and just watch the fire go. he even has a built-in lighter function in his hands, so he can start up a fire whenever.

Demo is also a story-teller, but his story genres are mystery and mythological/paranormal. he has a specialized voice box that lets him make sound effects, but so that they still sound like a human imitating the sound. his room is one of the most popular ones, though he prefers to wander around the establishment instead of sit in his room when he’s not telling stories. he helps out Pyro with arts and crafts, occasionally, but another way he likes to spend time with the kids is by showing off the medieval weapons (models) he has, and the kids always find it cool. it’s a rather large collection, and the models are quite…accurate.

Engie is, just like his normal tf2 counterpart, good at just about everything and pretty overworked. if animatronics could get stress headaches, he would, although mostly because of his desire to get all of his jobs done perfectly all at once. the jobs in question are musical entertainment, assistant cook, helping with arts and crafts, and helping with maintenance after the place is closed. he can play any strummed string instrument, and has a separate voice box just for singing. he also has extensive knowledge of the inner workings most of the electronic systems in the building; lights, sound systems, fire suppression- but not security. the company doesn’t want to risk him going haywire or getting some kind of malware and then letting thieves and such in. Engie also has an issue with his programming for talking to adults- the speech part of his ai is lacking in that department, so he tends to pull from what he knows for talking to kids, which used to make him come across as condescending at times. by now, though, he’s tweaked it and managed to perfect that polite, disarming tone of voice. he’s very good at it.

Heavy and Sniper’s rooms are connected and are the two designated “quiet rooms”. Heavy also reads to/with the kids and Sniper also tells nature stories, but for the most part they just keep a calm environment. kids with sensory issues, kids who get overstimulated, and even just kids who want to take a nap come to their rooms. there’s plenty of differently textured stuff available if someone needs to ground themselves or just wants to feel a certain texture. as for Heavy and Sniper themselves, they’re very calm and keep their voices low. Sniper makes sure everyone’s doing alright and doesn’t need anything, and Heavy deals with kids that are getting too loud or rambunctious (he’ll guide them out of the room and give them a gentle scolding, then let them back in if they promise to behave). if, for whatever reason, a parent is the one causing the issue, it’s still rather easy to get the parent out of the room(s), especially considering the strength of the two

Medic is the first aid bot, of course. the are a handful of different first aid stations around the building, with buttons to call Medic to them if he’s not there already. something went a little wrong with his personality coding, making him that unhinged man we all know and love, but he’s surprisingly good with kids and filtering what he says to not disturb them. the kids adore him. like Engie, though, he has issues interacting with adults- but instead of pulling from kid interaction info and coming off as condescending, Medic goes off of default, bland, robot interaction and ends up being just…creepy. short, curt speech, a lot of staring (with eyes that are far too observant and watching to be comfortable), and over time it goes from creepy and emotionless to creepy and somewhat hostile. it’s clear he’d rather be anywhere but around the adult. if one is being very insistent on talking to him, he’ll take to tidying up the nearest first aid station, giving a few…specific tools a rather thorough cleaning.

Spy, on the other hand, deals entirely with adults. he greets people at the door, and ensures the adults are at the very least comfortable while their kids have fun. most people question why his face was designed the way it was (with a mask), but…he’s calm, sophisticated, charming, the perfect animatronic for the job and honestly a good conversationalist. so nobody ever bothers to ask. it’s just a design choice, after all. Spy’s second function is assistant security, which has two parts of its own. the first is if a kid gets lost in the admittedly very large building. he’s the one who tracks them down and guides them back to their guardian. the second is helping the night shift guards when the place is closed. on most nights, he just patrols with them and takes care of any issues by following normal protocol. sometimes, though, he can convince the guards to go home and get some rest, and he and some (or all) of the other bots patrol. if someone tries to break in on one of those nights, well…you weren’t expecting to break into the home of nine sentient, semi-malfunctioning robots and get out, were you ?

[stra-tek]

Excerpt from I Survived Kirk, a forthcoming trashy tell-all autobiography fanfic about a bitter redshirt on Kirk's U.S.S. Enterprise

Oh yeah, the ship.  It was supposedly the USS Enterprise that had essentially been my home for five years, “refitted”.  But from what I could tell, in the past two years she had been rebuilt entirely new.  Hell, not long after we docked I saw some of the refit concept plans with the header “USS ENTERPRISE NCC-1800” – and nothing says “yeah, it’s an entirely new ship” like a new Naval Construction Contract number.  But, for whatever reason in the end they decided to keep the old number.  Remember, I’m an engineer.  I knew the Enterprise backwards and inside out, and I didn’t see a single thing of the original ship in the new.  Not even the corridors are where they were.  I’m told some of the saucer superstructure remains from the original.  I even heard a rumour the stardrive section was built entirely anew, because the original had been [REDACTED BY STARFLEET COMMAND].  Sounds completely insane, but hey, insane is what we do for a living.

It’s sterile.  The bright colours were gone.  Oh yeah, and THEY CHANGED EVERY SINGLE CONTROL ON HER.  I had to LEARN EVERYTHING AGAIN FROM SCRATCH.  They gave us all copies of the Bridge Operations Manual to study, saying if we could operate the controls on the bridge, we could operate them anywhere.

Now, I’m not one to say the enterprise has the most user-friendly interface in the galaxy.  In fact, it was really quite impractical, with buttons being largely unlabelled and context-sensitive, and a nightmare to do anything outside of the expected context in a hurry.  If that makes any sense.  But rather than evolve the existing designs, they just swapped them out for something based on Vulcan interfaces.

Now, in fairness, Vulcans had been flying through space for thousands of years (versus our hundred and fifty-odd) so their interfaces are probably among the most tried and tested in the galaxy, but they’re not what I grew up with.  They’re not what I trained on and they’re not what I could use in my sleep.  Nobody was happy.  Scotty (now sporting grey hair and a pornstache) wouldn’t say a word against the change, but he chose his words carefully when discussing the new control interfaces.  Other than that, of course, Scotty was bubbling with pride about the new Enterprise.  He was one of the lead engineers on the refit project.  Now her top speed was supposedly an insane warp factor 12 (up from 8 on the original, not that we ever adhered to that much), she had new and far more powerful weapons (when they worked, we quickly exposed a critical flaw in the phasers during the V’ger incident).

A lot of people say she’s the most beautiful starship ever created.  I’ve never been one to say a starship is beautiful.  It’s a thing, a vehicle, a machine, a means of conveyance.  I was like that with cars as a kid and I’m like that as a grumpy old man.  Anywho, all that said, yes this Enterprise is aesthetically pleasing, although I hate the the look of the new warp nacelles (the red spinners – or space energy matter sinks to those of us who lived on her) on the front were what got me interested in starships as a kid, to lose them sucked donkey balls), and the pylons looks as though they could be severed with one well-placed torpedo at their base.

Inside, as said already, she was sterile.  Brushed metal everything.  Particularly disconcerting, they’d added a shield to the transporter, protecting the transporter operator from… what?  We were always told it was safe.  The crew used it HUNDREDS of times without a shielded operator booth.  Hell, I beamed dozens of people and tons of cargo up and down from various places.  What was I unknowingly exposing myself to?  Was it whatever sent Decker Sr, Tracey, Garth and the rest batshit insane?  No straight answer from Starfleet.  No straight answer even from Scotty, the man I trusted even though a part of me still suspected he killed that stripper and her husband.

The technical manual calls it a transparent aluminium radiation shield but treats it as if it’s always been there.  So I dug back through records.  Dozens and dozens of records, loads of ship designs and variants over 150 years.  I eventually found the USS Franklin NX-326 had one on it’s cargo transporter, specified to “shield the operator from any cumulative radiations emitted by the transporter machinery during use”.  What the fuck are “any cumulative radiations”??  It’s as if they don’t know themselves.  And they probably didn’t, it was the age of terrifying stories of transporter ghosts like Cyrus Ramsey and Quinn Erickson, and 404 file not found errors.  They were fucking with shit they barely comprehended.  Hell, we wouldn’t have artificial gravity if it weren’t for a Slaver stasis box found on the moon.  Let that sink in for a moment.  We didn’t even design that shit, which we’ve just adapted and used for centuries.  Did we come up with the transporter?  We were technologically behind every other power in space when we first ventured out, but we were among the very first to beam people and things around?  Hmmm.

Rumour has it Admiral Jonathan Archer was sterile due to overuse of transporters in the 2150’s.  It’s a fact that his former weapons officer Malcolm Reed was unable to father children although no cause was officially given.

Maybe all the surviving insane starship captains should file a class-action suit against Starfleet.