#Online Therapy Companies

[accesshealthservices]

What is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy?| Access Health Services

CBT is a form of talk therapy that focuses on identifying and changing negative patterns of thinking and behaviour. It is based on the premise that the way we think about ourselves, others, and the world around us can impact our emotions and behaviours. By changing negative thought patterns, we can change our emotional responses and behaviours, leading to improved mental health and overall well-being.

CBT has been extensively researched and has been shown to be highly effective for a range of mental health disorders, including anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Visit More: https://www.accesshealthservices.org/cognitive-behavior-therapy/

[but-the-library-of-alexandria]

in 2024 I wanna stop hearing about betterhelp

[jewishbuckley]

"was there a reason you didn't cancel this" honestly I thought I had so no there wasn't a reason but also if clients are going to have Your personal number and reach out to You about canceling (when they Should be reaching out via email per our cancelation policy) then You should be canceling the appt anyway imo. all the other trainers cancel their appointments AND add their appointments to the system 🤪

[excelsior9173]

desperately need my brain to stop picking my good days to completely spiral 🫠

i got to go exploring today, i went fishing! i waded in a lake! i drank a beer! i got to do a bunch of my favourite things and was feeling so so so happy to spend the day with my sibling and now? now i want to crawl out of my skin. nothing is holding my attention or bringing me any joy i feel empty, hollow, completely detached from the world. and instead of deciding i need help it just makes me angry. i hate that i get like this, i hate that it’s ruining what was otherwise a perfect day

[tubapun]

Btw if you see a survey from a website called "Better Me" that supposedly rates your "trauma" be aware that it's made by the BetterHelp company and is weighted to always be at least in the "Moderate" range, with most ending up in the "Severe" cause it wants you to subscribe to their fake online therapy. It's not real or to be trusted.

Edit: the company is apparently not owned by BetterHelp, it just has a similar name. But it is a known data collection tool and the weighting is clear and designed to have you subscribe to its therapy which is on the same level as better helps (bad and meant to collect data first and foremost)

[authorcressida]

Have you sought mental health resources/care in the United States in the past five years? If so, please take 8-12 minutes to fill out a survey for my academic research project. Your responses are completely confidential and will help inform my research project, the end goal of which is to design a digital product that will address disparities in and barriers to access to mental health resources in the U.S.

[mv1simp]

Just Hold On, We’re Going Home ♥️

Max Verstappen x Fiancé! Reader

I got my eye on you, you’re everything that I see (I want your hot love and emotion, endlessly)

After a particularly bad argument with his father, Max is mentally checked out and needs to be pulled out of the dark place his mind has gone too. As his fiancé, you know just what to say to make him feel your love and bring him safely home.

Content includes: 18+ MDNI, smut, size kink, orgasm denial, I know I said I would never write subby max and that was apparently a LIE, but he’s more of a soft pure loverboy who needs you ok, you both have daddy issues, mild angst and childhood trauma, 3.1k WC

You can tell your fiancé’s mind is somewhere else right now, instead of at the intimate dinner you’re sharing at a cosy restaurant. You know this because you know Max well, having been friends before you two started dating, meeting as mutuals within the same extended group, and then online where you would both take a break from your demanding careers to enjoy a friendly grand theft auto competition.

Your friendship had gotten closer when you’d proved to be someone he could trust and always rely on. Especially when it came to talking about his father - a very multi layered relationship given that Max owed a large part of his F1 success to Jos’s discipline and the fact that, well, said discipline had involved emotional abuse on a good day and physical abuse on a bad one. It was a complex dynamic to unpack, and one that he didn’t really do with anyone - because he couldn’t trust anyone outside his family to not leak it to the media somehow. And within his family, the only one who came close to understanding was his little sister Victoria - who wanted to talk about it just as little as Max did.

However, you knew a thing or two about complex relationships with parents, growing up in a household with a luxury property developer tyrant of a father, and a homemaker mother who would never dare come between her husband and his demands for absolute perfection from his children, especially from you - the eldest. Similarly to Max, you owed a large part of your highly successful investment company and Oxford financial degree to your father’s attitude, which had been so sweet on days you performed, and then like a dark thunderstorm on the days you didn’t.

So you’d been the only one to see the look in Max’s eye one night when he’d had one too many to drink at a house party, and had wandered out into the garden by himself. You’d spotted him leaving, already having a growing soft spot for your friend at that stage, and had followed him out. It had taken you a while to find him amongst the dark sprawling bushes, but when you did, you promptly sat down next to the much taller Dutchman and didn’t ask him anything. Instead, you told him about the time you’d scored 99.9 on a notoriously difficult advanced calculus exam, and you’d proudly told your father about the result of your months of study, top in your class - and he’d responded by coldly demanding why you didn’t get the 100. What’d you say to him? Max slurred, morbidly intrigued by the story.

Nothing, I was way too upset I'd disappointed him. But I did go fight the Mathematics head professor about giving me the extra 0.1. You shrugged, telling him you probably should’ve just gone to frickin family therapy instead and saved yourself arguing for 45 minutes only to find out 99.9 was the highest possible mark anyways.

Max looked at you, blue eyes intense in the moonlight. You in turn looked back at him with nervous doe eyes, and when he didn’t say anything, anxiously started apologising. Perhaps you’d read his emotions wrong, you didn’t mean to overstep and relate to his own relationship with his father-

Max cuts you off to explain what had been on his mind. I’m sorry, you - you argued for 45 minutes with the department head for an extra 0.1? On top of 99.9? This time, when your gazes meet, you both burst into drunk giggles at the sheer absurdity of a five foot nothing, 15 year old schoolgirl going toe to toe with a grumpy old professor for such a thing.

He’d started opening up to you after that, bit by bit peeling back the onion layers, because you always met his confessions with no judgement because this was his narrative, and helped him reflect on his emotions and understand why, 20 years on, he still couldn't accept a compliment but easily responded to insults. And when you two finally became a couple after a very convoluted weekend in Ibiza - involving multiple schemes from both parties, various slutty outfit choices from Max that showed off his abs, and your use of one (1) Charles Leclerc to make his Dutch childhood karting rival jealous (a story for another time) - you’d heard the full tale of what Max’s upbringing had been like.

And now, 5 years on from the infamous Ibiza weekend, and sitting across from him at dinner as his fiancée, you know instantly from the look in his eyes what's troubling him. You touch his large hand gently to draw him back in, and with a startle he comes back to you, apologising. It’s been a shit last few races, yeah? You start, going straight to the source of his worries. And now a big one this weekend, Zandvoort, your home race.

Max sighs, nodding, grateful for your ability to pick up on what's on his mind without him needing to say it. On your drive home he rants passionately about all the bullshit decisions his team has been making and the problems with the car he's asked to get fix for months. You soothe him reassuringly, rubbing his hand where it rests firmly on your thigh as his other drives, chiming in to agree with his critiques and make him laugh with jokes to diffuse his tension.

And that night he shows you just how thankful he is for all your understanding, picking you up in a display of strength that always has you needy and dripping for him. He smirks as you beg him to take you to bed and fuck me, please Maxie, after he has you breathlessly stretched out on his large, thick fingers. Like the good fiance he is he gives you what you want, all his stress melting away with each strong thrust into your small frame underneath him, your tiny hands clinging desperately to his broad shoulders.

You're furious the next morning when you wake up to multiple calls that there'd been a massive PR scandal within one of your principal investing companies, sending your high profile clients into panic - including your father, who demanded you fly out to London right now to sort this out. You'd been ready to send your executive manager out instead, not wanting to miss this important race for Max - but he'd chuckled and reassured you he was sure he could handle it - having done some odd 200 races or another. So after giving him a guilty kiss, you two fly off in opposite directions. You'd meant to have arrived to the paddock by Saturday noon at the latest, in time for qualifying at least, but London takes longer than expected. You don't come until halfway through the race on Sunday, and see him take P2 after multiple mistakes on the track - both from him and his team. Despite the objectively good result, you know Max would not be pleased. Seeing the stormy expression on his face on the podium after he'd tersely greeted you post-race, you give him his space to cool off, knowing it's not personal. Instead you catch up with the other WAGs and laugh at Charles who still faintly blushes at the sight of you, thinking about Ibiza. But later, when you head to the Redbull garage, you hear raised voices arguing in Dutch - before Jos emerges from Max's room and storms away. You pause before deciding to go in, gently asking how he's doing.

Max, as you expected, scoffs and sarcastically asks how do you think he's doing. You continue reassuring him, being used to seeing him like this after a bad race, and place a soft hand on his shoulder to soothe him - only for him to rip it off you almost violently, making you flinch in surprise. He yells at you to stop pretending like you understood a damn thing, as if you'd have any idea what kind of high pressure he has to deal with compared to your comfortable office job.

You manage to hold it together as you tell him you're going to leave, you'll be flying back to Monaco to sort out your work and will talk to him once he's calmed down. He rolls his eyes, telling you to get out, then and you make sure you're well away from the paddock and in the privacy of a car before you left yourself cry. Max had definitely been angry around you before, even enraged - but you'd never felt the full brunt of it come out and attack you so directly. Taking a deep breath, you focus on calming yourself down, as the argument brings up your anxieties from your own father - who had no problem raising his voice when he was angry. By the time you land in Monaco, you're ready to head back to the office.

The next day as you're coming home from work, unlocking the door to your shared apartment with Max, you stumble forward when the door is yanked open. On the other side is your rather panicked looking fiancee, who says that he'd thought that you- he swallows, looking like he was about to be sick -that you'd left. Forever. Perplexed, you tell him that you’d never do that, not without talking to him, and he launches into a frantic apology, saying that he regretted his words so much, that you didn't deserve to have him take his anger out onto you. Grateful for the sincere apology, you let him know with a genuine smile, saying that you're completely okay now, you had understood he’d been frustrated in the heat of the moment.

But Max's worried looks at you don't stop as you wander off to take a shower and then continue over your favourite dinner that he'd cooked, uncomfortable with the compliments you gave him about it - as per usual, still struggling to accept a kind word about anything he did. When you feel his upset gaze on you again when you're cuddled against his shirtless chest, watching a movie, you decide enough is enough and pressed pause to gently ask him what was on his mind.

That I just let all my anger out onto you like that without any hesitation. And the things I said about your job not being important - God, it’s something my dad would have said. His guilt at having hurt you with his cruel words make his blue eyes bright with the threat of tears. He says he couldn't just accept that you'd let it go because you thought it was fine, because it wasn't, not really, don't ever let me speak to you like that again, schat.

Bringing yourself up to straddle your fiance's wide lap, you settle in comfortably and closely examine the helpless look in his pretty eyes. It's rare for Max to get so worked about something like this, being the rather laid back guy he is off the track. But when he does get like this, all pent up from stress, his father’s expectations heavy on one shoulder and the fear of turning out like him on the other, there’s very few ways to pull him out of his head. Gun to your head, you’ll admit, you had your own personal favourite method for helping Max unwind. Because on nights like these, it's the the only time he'll hand the control over to you in the bedroom and the only place where he'll accept your compliments. With a teasing smile, you pepper him with gentle kisses, erasing away every tense line on his face.

Sure, Max you whisper breathily into his ear, biting the edge of it, I guess I did forgive you too easily. Maybe I should make you work for it, hmm? A delicious pink flush spreads across Max's cheeks, making you grin wickedly and press deep kisses into his soft mouth. He breathlessly whines when you pull away to tease your hand down his muscles chest, stopping just above his low waisted sweats. You can already feel how hard he is underneath you with the impressive semi he’s sporting. Choosing to ignore it, you climb off him and pull him along with you too. He follows you like a lost dog to where you walk over to the kitchen, dropping your hoodie as you went, to reveal a cute La Perla pink set underneath that he'd given you for an anniversary.

When you stop to lean against the counter, eyeing him coyly, he tilts his head down curiously - only to have you tangle your small hands through his messy, long locks and guide him all the way down, until he's on his knees below you. He looks positively delicious, all soft and flushed, as you coo that he needs to prove just how sorry he is, by putting that mean mouth of his to work and eating you out, yeah?

He nods eagerly, burying his large nose right into your core and breathing in, licking furiously through your thin panties and when he tries to yank the lacy garment out of the way, you swat his hand back, telling him no, not yet, he didn’t deserve it.

He whines openly then, teary and breathless against you as he kisses along your thighs, the swell of your ass, and then to your delicate ankle as you teasingly stop him coming any closer with a foot to his toned chest, your gold anklet dangling. Running a hand through his hair again, you tug on it firmly so you can smirk down at him when he begs you please, schat, I promise I’ll be s'good for you-

Your resolve is crumbling at seeing your normally in control fiancé reduced to putty in your small hands. Trying to maintain your willpower, you teasingly pull your pink bralette off first, enjoying the way Max's breath hitches, eyes wide with pure need, as he follows your hands ever so slowly slide your panties down your legs. But he still doesn't move, fists clenched into his thighs, desperate blue eyes looking up at you, waiting for your approval to touch you. You throw him a bone and slide one soft thigh over his broad shoulder, your other leg still leaning against the counter, giving him irresistible access to your dripping pussy. Go on then, baby, you tease, here's your reward.

He buries his tongue into you in half a millisecond, eating you out like he's kneeling at your altar and worshipping your thighs. His large hands squeeze your curvy ass, pulling you even closer onto his tongue as he hungrily eats you out like a starved man. You're moaning sweetly, telling him he's doing so good for you, it feels amazing, that you wonder how the world would react if they knew their favourite F1 champion was as good at eating pussy as he was at driving racecars.

Your praise has him keening, now desperately kissing and sucking your core, and somehow both your thighs have ended up draped across his strong shoulders, his large palms still squeezing your ass. This angle lets him slide in deeper than you’ve ever felt his mouth reach, face completely buried between your thick thighs, and with a few more talented flicks you’re lean back against the counter and squirting right onto his waiting tongue.

Dazed from the intensity of your orgasm, it takes you a few minutes to come down from your high, and Max slowly licks your clit in the meantime, toeing the line to overstimulation. Standing back up shakily from potentially the most mind blowing oral you've ever had in your life, you tilt his chin up to look at you with a gentle hand, giving him a kiss because he was such a good boy, all for me, yeah baby?

He nods furiously, almost looking like a cute Labrador with his blonde hair and blue eyes and you giggle at the mental image, telling him he’s earned his next treat. Max practically stumbles after you as you gently tug him up by his jaw and back over to the comfortable sofa, where he sits down after you playfully shove his chest. His muscular thighs spread wide to make a perfect throne for you to climb onto. He's still in his boxers, his bulge straining against the damp material, and you tease him with a smug smirk, asking if he'd already cum in his pants just from eating you out, like a dirty little perv?

He desperately moans out his No, no, promise I didn’t, held it all back to fill inside you, please- He becomes breathless from your mean hands that tease his cock further through his boxers. When he tried to redirect you, guiding your hand under his boxers to where he really needs it, you shove him away and tell him to keep his hands to himself. You demand to know why he thinks he deserves to put his gross, sticky cum anywhere near your sweet, precious hole, is he at least going to use some manners and ask politely?

Max pants, face flushed and blonde strands attractively stuck to his forehead as he feverishly begs you, please, schat, he needed to be inside of you so bad, he couldn't take it, hadn't he been so good for you already? You can tell your fiance is close to his tipping point, and you almost send him over the edge with a smooth motion as you slip his fully erect, huge cock out of his boxers and start lazily jerking him off. Sliding your fingers into his mouth for him to lick, you smirk as he does exactly that. Using his spit on your hands to give him a couple good pumps - making his breath hitch as he struggles to hold back his orgasm - you guide his throbbing length to your dripping pussy, which is so ready for a second round.

Max screws his eyes shut, head thrown back, as you wickedly torment him some more, dragging his tip teasingly along your puffy lips, drenching him with your slick. His hands dig into the sofa, desperately trying to resist the urge to touch you like you'd ordered him to earlier. And when you finally sink down on him, all the way to his base, he's moaning and begging again, tears in the corner of his eyes as you slowly ride him - edging his poor cock with the relief of your tight, warm cunny but not giving it quite enough pressure. And when your thighs are starting to get tired from the effort, and Max has ripped holes on your sofa while gripping the fabric, you know it's time to let him take control again.

Guiding his hands gently to your waist, you lean forward into his firm chest to whisper Maxie, baby, it's too much for you, can he please help you out and make you cum again-

His eyes snap open, wide blue eyes coming to stare into your pleading doe ones as you hand the power over to him, all dished up on a silver platter with a pretty please. He brings his forehead forward to lean against yours, your ragged breaths meeting as you feel shivers run up your spine in anticipation of what’s coming. Then, with an all too familiar smirk returning to his face, he tightens his hands into a bruising grip on your waist and easily begins bouncing you up and down on his fat cock. His wide thighs, which had been straining in an effort to hold back, now flex as he thrusts deeply into you from below, making you wail at the furious change in pace and you're screaming his name, proving once again just how good he makes you feel. You two barely last another few seconds before you're cumming, your name on his lips as he pumps an obscenely thick creampie into you.

You stay like that for a while, sweaty and tangled in each others arms, exchanging gentle kisses and loving affirmations with him still deep inside you, until sleep starts to take over. Later, after you'd showered because wow, that had been a particularly filthy session, you find yourself stroking his damp hair as he lies against your chest, the rest of his body on the bed to keep the weight off you. Thank you, liefje, he murmurs sleepily against you. At your inquisitive hmm? he presses a loving kiss to your skin, telling you his thanks was for always knowing how to calm me down. For always bringing me back home. I love you.

You smile in the dark, warmth blooming across your chest as you press a kiss to his head. Always, Max, just like you do for me. I love you too.

---------------------------------------------------------

A/N: SOO i never thought i'd write this but after zandervoot im manifesting the return of max supremacy with this. had to rewrite a bunch of times cause genuinly couldn’t picture max as sub instead of dom so lmk what u guys think!! Also… should i do a part 2 where its the reader with daddy issues instead hehehe 😼😼😮‍💨

[peachsukii]

A rage room is the last place Bakugo ever thought he’d end up with you.

When you bring up the idea to him after seeing one online, he scoffs at the thought of it. Working out and training is more than enough for him to let off metaphorical steam, and he’s been seeing a therapist since senior year of UA. He doesn’t need to smash shit to feel something.

At least, that’s what he thought.

Bakugo agrees to go with you, begrudgingly at first, but ultimately to keep you company, he doesn’t want you to hurt yourself or be alone. There were only two rules: No quirk usage and no harming others in the room, everything else is fair game. You both sign the waivers and gear up to head inside. The room is overwhelming at first, full to the brim of freshly smash-able objects - a broken down car with the doors barely on their hinges, light bulbs, glass jars of all sizes, old stop lights, and other breakable trinkets.

“Start smashin’, sweets. It ain’t gonna break itself,” Bakugo jokes, patting you on the back to let you take the first swing. You pick up the bat the facility has supplied and turn to face him, setting it on your shoulder like a sword.

“You’re not gonna try it?”

He’s here and suited up, might as well let loose. What’s the worst that could happen?

Bakugo swings the bat a few times around the room, adrenaline trickling through his veins as glass continuously shatters around him. Suddenly, he’s lost in thought and caught in a slow emotional build up, like an ocean’s tide retreating before the giant swell of waves begin to crash against the shore. Memories begin flooding to the forefront of his mind, things he’d worked through in therapy - anger, frustration, fear, guilt, coursing through him. Bakugo doesn’t notice when you lower your bat, watching him curiously as he starts swinging harder, viciously picking up the pace and breathing heavily with each passing hit.

“Kats, you alright?” You call - he doesn’t hear you in his tunnel visioned state. In between swings, you can see the bat quaking in his grip as if it’s too heavy to hold.

“Katsuki!” you try again with no response. Bakugo sounds like he’s about to have a panic attack with the way his breath is labored. You toss your bat to the floor and rush over to him, gently grabbing at his shoulder to get his attention. He flinches at your touch, shaken up by his sudden visceral reaction with a tinge of embarrassment, hiding his face from you by tucking it against his opposite shoulder.

“Breathe, babe,” you sooth, rubbing calming circles in between his shoulder blades. “Do you need a minute?”

“I—” Bakugo stutters, his throat strained by his effort to hold in the onslaught of tears threatening to spill over his cheeks. He clears his throat and bites his lip in a desperate attempt to stop his emotions from overflowing, but he loses the battle.

“We can stop if—”

He snatches your breath away when Bakugo swings around and pulls you into his chest, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck awkwardly. The protective goggles are becoming foggy and wet with discarded tears, a hiccup strangled in his throat. One of your hands slides tenderly against his nape, fingers entangled with the soft blonde strands while the other lays against his back.

"It's okay, I've got you. It's just you and me here."

Turns out smashing shit gave him an outlet he didn’t know he needed. His therapist has preached to him about bodies holding onto stress and trauma throughout our lives - Bakugo thought it was utter bullshit.

He was proven dreadfully wrong. But one things for sure, he’s sincerely grateful you knew him better than himself, how badly he needed this release without verbalizing it.

[gexl]

Welcome!

Gexl is a company that produces free content and software for mental health treatment and support!

It also provides free counseling on employment, educational opportunities and degrees, benefits, job and housing search, psychosocial support, transportation, and more just for Cyprus.

It also teaches English, Spanish, Italian, psychology, and cognitive behavioral therapy for free on Facebook!

Also, the blog on this site teaches how to build small businesses.

Lastly, it creates and hosts custom web applications and websites at affordable prices! Free hosting is offered for web applications/websites with low traffic and low disk usage!

Take a look at our products and services!

[lorax177]

Fun fatphobia fact of the day:

CMS/HCC is a way for insurance companies to estimate how much money a patient will cost to insure, based on the major problems they have.

This is my list of diagnoses.

I blacked out one of them because it is my intersex condition and has to do with my assigned gender, which I don't want to be associated with my online presence. Also, there are a few repeats because doctors will put in their own phrasing, so sometimes when I switch doctors, I get re-diagnosed with the same thing, with slightly different wording. It's also missing a few diagnoses i got as a kid, namely my autism and a comprehensive list of the specific learning disorders I have, because I didn't think they were relevant to a general practitioner and i didn't want them on my record for safety reasons. Anyways, you'll notice that there are several of them that have the aforementioned CMS/HCC label. Those are schizoaffective disorder, major depression (which is part of my sza,) and two counts of "morbid obesity". My adhd, which I need to take two different medications daily to treat sufficiently enough to function, is not labeled as a major disorder, but my size is. Twice!

You'll notice that nowhere on this list is any diagnosis that is supposedly related to my fatness. That is because, metabolically speaking, my health is perfect. My lipids, a1c, blood pressure, pulse, and o2 are all in the excellent range. I am not on any kind of medications for any of these, either. The fact that I have more body tissue than their ideal, which has no bearing on my actual health, is considered more important to address than my neurodevelopmental disorder that requires two expensive medications to treat. They think that I am more of a risk for them because of an imagined bogeyman of a diagnosis ("morbid obesity", aka being fat) than something which actually has real life functional and financial consequences (my severe combined type adhd). Or, for that matter, my ocd, which I needed intensive outpatient therapy for; my transgender identity, which has cost them thousands of dollars in hormones and surgery; my asthma, which requires two medications to treat; and my gerd, which requires one.

I'm not advocating for medical insurance companies to make it harder for people with these diagnoses to get treatment. I'm just pointing out that the medical system sees me as a drain on their resources specifically because of my weight rather than the diagnoses that actually cost them money (albeit with one exception). They think my adipose tissue, which is not causing me any health problems, is more important to note than most of my legitimate health problems.

That is medical fatphobia.

[mrsdarkandyandere7]

(Dark!) Scenario: Sexual Assault

Pairing: Dark Ethan Landry x (female) Reader

▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.

More at Masterlist

SCENARIO: Ethan's girlfriend suffers sexual assault.

WARNINGS: Sexual Assault (Rape!) + Don’t read the end if your heart is weak.

Please, reblog and give me feedback.

--

The only person that would be more heartbroken than you is your boyfriend. You can see it in his face how much it hurt - broke - his heart that such a tragedy happened to you.

Blaming himself for what happened. He’s your boyfriend so you’re his responsibility. He should've been there to protect you, to shield you from the evil in this world. 

But he’s here for you now. Every therapy appointment, every medical exam, every police interrogation, he’s always there. Giving you a shoulder to cry on, drying your tears away, giving you all the love and support you need.

He’s the only person that makes you feel better as your whole world shatters. 

You never saw it coming. It’s one of those things that always happens to others, never you. And this time, you weren’t so lucky. 

That whole night is a blur, only shreds of it coming back. It was Halloween’ night party and you went out with your group of friends.

Ethan also tagged along but you vaguely remember kissing him goodbye as he left early because of a headache but not before practically demanding your friends to take good care of you. 

You remember the sharp lights, the banging music, the pushy crowd. A red plastic cup in your hand and while the content seemed normal at the first few gulps, it made you dizzy with a speed that wasn't natural. 

You remember stumbling back to your dorm, you’re not even sure how the hell you managed to walk back in the awful drunken state you were in.

You never saw his face, quickly manhandled into the bed with your face shoved on the bed as he fucked you from behind. You’re grateful for the blurry memories you have, only fragments of it coming back.

The punishing pace he had, like he was taking out his anger on you. The brutal thrusts that lasted forever as he furiously chased his high, ignoring the pain he was causing you. How strong he was, body weighing heavy on top of you, his hands holding your body down, making sure you didn’t get away from him. 

Ethan is the only one that doesn’t pressure you to remember things. Everyone asks for details - any small detail would help, they say - but Ethan allows you to hide in the darkness of the oblivion, maybe he knows that, deep down, you don’t really want to remember. You want to forget it. 

What happened changed you. 

You become more secluded, preferring the comfort of your house as you move back instead of going out. Nights out are a heavy no for you, not even your parents feel at ease with it and neither does Ethan, but you also don’t mind.

You join online college, effectively becoming a hermit. Hiding behind a screen makes you feel safe, people can’t judge you like that. 

Ethan frequently keeps you company after his classes and the two of you spend evenings in a lazy but comfortable way, watching movies or studying. It’s a nice routine and soon you get used to it.

He always hesitates before touching or kissing you and you feel grateful that he’s considerate of your feelings. His kisses are soft and short, never leading to anything more. He knows you still need time to heal from your trauma. 

You slowly push away your friends, avoiding their texts or invitations to hang out. Even when they come to visit you, you barely utter a few words. You don’t know why you’re doing it, maybe it’s a coping mechanism or maybe you blame them for what happened to you.

Maybe if they had stuck closer to you instead of leaving you on your own…

But it’s fine, you have Ethan and that’s all that matters. 

Hugs make you claustrophobic but not his. No, having Ethan’s strong arms around you makes you feel protected, secured. Like no bad thing in this world can get to you. 

One day Ethan comes to your house only to rush back  to the college, having forgotten a book of his. You chuckle when you notice he left his phone behind, but you let it be. He’ll be back soon, anyways.  

You only wanted to check for any games he could have on his phone, but the sweet collection of photos he has in his gallery distracts you. 

It makes your heart melt when you look at them. Dozens of pictures of you and Ethan light up the screen and you fondly recognize them as most of them were taken by you. 

You almost pout when they come to an end and you decide to check his cloud for more photos, he probably has more there given how he likes to keep everything safe in his online account. 

But the warm smile soon slips from your face, heart dropping to your stomach as a video automatically starts playing. 

And you’re in it. 

It’s a bit hard to see, only a dim light illuminating the room but you know it’s you. 

That’s you, pressed against the bed as Ethan hovers over you, his movements never stopping even as you cry. 

Your boyfriend is the one that assaulted you.

[minniesmutt]

♱ ━━━━━━ 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋: 𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐀 

♱ ━━━ CONTENT: MENTION OF DRUGS, ALCOHOL, VIOLENCE, PRISON, THERAPY MENTIONS, MORE OF A FILLER CHAPTER, WET DREAM, COCKWARMING, GRINDING, PET NAMES, IMPLIED MORE ROUNDS ♱ ━━━ WC: 1K ♱ ━━━ PAIRING: FELIX X READER ♱ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog ♱ ━━━ a repost from my old blog

     Information was always easy for Felix to find. Everything was on the internet. Everything was put into databases. Police files, card info, medical information, everything. It was such easy access.

     From day one, Felix was already looking into Y/n, even before Minho asked him. He knew they didn’t find anything at her old apartment. So to the internet, he went. Checking her social media first. The fabricated life people selectively chose to put out. 

     Most photos were with friends. Trips, clubs, drinks, anything. Normal twenty-something-year-old behavior. Moving on to her friend’s profiles, it was the same story. Looking into them first.

     Seana was clean essentially. She had no issues with the law and worked a good job to keep herself afloat. Posted about her friends just like Y/n. Nothing was an issue with her. Karina had a bit of a record; driving under the influence, hit and runs, possession of illegal drugs. She had a job but more of a part-time thing. Nothing that really helped support the lifestyle she wanted to portray online.

     Looking into the family was next. From what he gathered and found out from reports, her dad hadn’t been in her life since she was young and was in jail on the other side of the country. There were no records of calls to anyone since his incarceration. Pretty content with rotting away in the system. Multiple times considering he had a bit of a history of being released and getting back in months later. 

     Her mom had passed away a few years ago. Coroners report stating a mix of drugs and alcohol. Grandparents having passed away or lived elsewhere in the country. Y/n essentially had no family from what Felix could tell. He felt a little bad for her, being on your own like that could hurt.

     Checking through medical records were next on the list. The first thing he noticed was notes from therapy sessions. Becoming very interested, he made his own copy of the notes and saved it onto his computer before he heard the elevator ding.

     “Felix?” He heard Y/n’s voice call.

     “Yeah?” He called back as he minimized the windows and pulled up some other things he had been looking into for Chan.

     Y/n walked into his little home office as he turned around in his chair. Sitting in his loungewear— a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt— as she made her way over to him.

     “What’s up, princess?” Felix asked as she made her way over to him.

     “Just a bit bored, figured I come bug you,” Y/n said as he pulled her onto his lap.

     “Keep me company while I work then, yeah?”

     “Can do,” Y/n smiled as he spun the chair around back to his screens.

     Y/n wrapped her arms around him and listened to his keyboard taps and mouse clicks. It was soothing to listen to honestly. Lulling her back into sleep on top of the blonde’s lap. 

     Felix noticed her asleep a few minutes later, gently rubbing her back before pulling her medical files out again. Reading through it, a few things jumped out at him. Trust issues, compulsively lying, unwilling to work through trauma.

     Felix emailed the notes he thought were most important to Chan but kept reading. 

     “Client has mentioned early life with mother but not much. Briefly mentioned biological mother being under the influence often and redirecting anger onto the client.”

     “Client laughs when explaining a core event in her life.”

     “Clients says alcohol intake has gone down; was previously using to cope.”

     Felix kept reading. He could make guesses now why she chose to stay with them. Given her family history, maybe some lack of attention growing up caused her to seek it from anywhere in her adult life. Now, she had eight men ready to do that at any time of the day. 

     Being a liar could be useful to them. But it made him wonder; only one friend had been caught by law enforcement and charged. The other one was clean from head to toe. Y/n seemingly had a history of issues— using to cope could mean getting into some trouble. But nothing. 

     But she seemed so unphased by the eight being gangsters. Maybe she’d never been caught? Maybe she was clean? It was a little difficult to tell. 

     Felix reclined back into his chair and wrapped his arms around Y/n. He gently rubbed her back as he took in the information. He knew Chan had a plan from the beginning of this arrangement, but he also had a feeling this information was going to give him a bit more of an idea to use her.

     Felix chuckled a bit to himself as he went back to some other tasks. “Lix,” Y/n mumbled

     “Yes, princess?” He asked looking down at her. Her eyes still closed but little moans came out of her as she subtly grinded on him.

     “Silly girl,” Felix said as he moved his hands down to her ass and pulled her closer, kissing the side of her head, “Y/n.” He said

     “Mhm?” She asked, moving her head to hide in his chest.

     “Having a fun little dream?” Felix teased

     “Yes.”

     “Want some help?”

     “Please.”

     Y/n was happy she was just wearing panties and one of the boy’s t-shirts. Made it easier for him to move his sweatpants and boxers down and push her panties to the side. Lining his tip up with her entrance and slowly sank her down onto him. Y/n moaned as her walls stretched for him till he was fully inside of her.

     “Feel so good,” Y/n muttered into his chest.

     “Yeah? Think you just like having a cock in you princess,” Felix got back to work. Y/n held onto him tightly as she slowly started to grind herself against him.

     “Gonna use me to make yourself cum?” Felix asked, his baritone voice going straight to her core.

     “Please lix,” Y/n whined

     “Go ahead, princess. Just know I get to use you to cum later.”

♱ ━━━━━━ ⇤prev| m.list | next⇥

♱ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback

© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[demonslayerunhinged]

how different do you think demon slayer would've been if they had modern stuff like phones, social media, video games, better transportation, T H E R A P Y?

Would there be constant online arguments between the hashira and the upper moons?

Just curious on what you think would happen if this were the case

Hi anon! Sorry for the late reply! Here are my headcanons with a little SaneGiyuu sprinkled in of course.

The Hashiras and the Upper Moons would definitely have Whatsapp chat groups where the Master would call them for meetings, they would discuss about their missions and they would clown on Giyuu 😂

The therapy would be one of those closed room sections where they can rant about their colleagues and missions kinda like the way contestants do in Big Brother or Total Drama Island.

...

The Infinity Castle would be an office similar to how it is in the Gakuen. Akaza is desperate to make Rengoku a demon because he needed a (boy)friend in his toxic workplace.

Kokushibo is the bossy, know-it-all who thinks he's the second boss, he definitely has the company logo as his social media profile pic and talks about putting the company first yada yada yada

Douma is the snake that pretends to be nice to you but talks about you when you're not around, preys on the new female hires, and has a special seat reserved for him in the HR department.

Nakime is the colleague that keeps to herself, does their work, doesn't really talk to anyone and peaces out once it's 5.

Gyokko is the suck up who tries to see how far they can push their nose up the boss's ass to get a promotion or recognition.

Hantengu is the old head that pretends to be incompetent and pitiful so that you'll end up doing all their work

Gyutaro and Daki are the gen-z types that hate the job but need the money, won't stop questioning authority and who you're secretly jealous of because of their gutsy behavior.

Akaza is the only sane one who has an already drafted resignation letter saved on his computer desktop that he wants to submit every Monday or everytime Douma opens his mouth. He copes by scrolling through office/shitty colleague memes, snorting coffee and dreaming up fantasies about the office exploding.

Douma has been banned from the Upper Moon group chat for posting too many memes and Blue Spider lily troll posts.

...

Giyuu constantly forgets the gate code to the Master's mansion when there's a Hashira meeting and when he asks on the group chat the other Hashiras mostly ignore him.

Sanemi dms him and gives him the code after calling him a dumbass.

Gyomei is always posting cat pictures and videos on the group chats.

Tengen takes a selfie during every mission and posts ot on his status.

Giyuu's driver is always late because he is old and always forgets where Giyuu's house is but Giyuu doesn't have the heart to fire him because the driver cares for him like a grandson.

Sanemi drives himself to his missions.

Rengoku always types in capital letters and Obanai is always asking why he's shouting.

Mitsuri has an Instagram where she posts about fashion, her cats and food. Obanai likes every post, he also likes every Mitsuri group chat post no matter how silly it is.

Whenever Rengoku goes on missions, he always visits the restaurants in the area and gives ratings and reviews on Google Maps.

Muichiro, Genya, Kanao, Inosuke, Zenitsu and Tanjiro spend their free time on their shared Minecraft server making cool builds.

Zenitsu screams whenever there's a creeper around, Inosuke just runs towards it like an idiot. He has the highest respawn rate out of any of them.

Tanjiro always greets each of the villagers he encounters, he's even nice to the traveling merchant. He also has a lot of dogs and cats. His base is in the jungle because of the pandas. He likes to explore and collect lots of resources.

Muichiro, Kanao and Inosuke like to explore the caves. Inosuke likes to sneak into Zenitsu's base and steal his stuff. He also has a lot of dogs which he calls the Hoard.

Kanao makes fancy builds and has a lot of xp, food and resource farms because she values efficiency and she always shows off her builds to Shinobu and the butterfly girls. She's the first one in the group to get netherite armor and sword.

Inosuke is banned from several stores and malls especially Walmart.

Sanemi and Obanai play COD together and bully/kill teammates or other players who are misogynistic and shout slurs.

Giyuu saves the Hashira's names formally on his phone but saves Sanemi's with his first name.

Giyuu and Sanemi text each other constantly and Sanemi always asks if he's eaten and offers to cook food for Giyuu at his place.

Shinobu always trolls Giyuu on the groupchat and she's banned from several pharmacies for her questionable requests about poisons but has settled for ordering them from the dark web.

She's currently on a watchlist for her ties to several eco-terrorist groups. She had a channel where she talked about poisons and bombs but it was taken down by YouTube.

She often takes the butterfly girls for ice cream and they have movie nights. Her favorite movie is Jennifer's Body and Mean Girls, least to say Aoi and Kanao are very concerned for her.

Muichiro always has to explain gen-z slang and memes to Gyomei.

Tengen is always posting thirst traps on Instagram along with pictures of his wives.

...

Kokushibo always handles Muzan's Amazon orders. Muzan orders a lot of hair products, he shops at designer stores and has a Sephora membership card.

Gyutaro and Daki are always bullying kids on Roblox and griefing peoples builds on public Minecraft servers.

Gyokko's Instagram page features his pots and 'art pieces', Hantengu likes all his posts.

Akaza listens to Avril Lavigne and posts about his colleagues and how he hates his job on Reddit and Tumblr.

The Infinity Castle wifi password is Muzan4prez set by Douma of course.

Nakime's favorite channel is HGTV because she's always looking for ideas on how to redecorate the Infinity Castle.

Muzan always watches E! especially when the Awards Season comes around. He's especially fond of the Met Gala. His favorite show is Hell's Kitchen.

Kokushibo likes watching the National Geographic channel and NatGeo wild on occasion.

...

The Master always forces Shinobu, Sanemi, Obanai and Giyuu to have professional therapy sessions. He also checks up on them to make sure they go every week and bribes them with movie nights with him.

He always posts motivational quotes and positive messages for the Hashira but isn't above posting memes and troll posts every once in a while. Sanemi likes all of his posts, chats and comments.

...

That's all I can think of for now. The slaying of the demons will be the same, they would still use katanas because they're more efficient than guns.

[kingshovelbug]

Hii what is your best advice to younger adults trying to make it independently and make a living? In art, savings or anything you think of. Thank you in advance!

dont be too hard on yourself. its tough out there right now in regards to like everything regardless of what old people say. also this is going to be a lot so im slapping a read more on here

⭐️ first thing id recommend for anyone is to start figuring out a budget. figure out how much youre making monthly. keep all your food receipts for a month or two to see what youre spending on food. find out what youre paying for thats necessary like utilities and whats not

the goal for a budget (or at least mine) is to find a good balance of earning vs spending. im paying off my credit card right now because i ran through all my savings after we had to move last year but my goal used to be to save 1/4 of what i earned after bills and putting money into an emergency fund (usually an emergency fund is 3 months worth of expenses). but it depends on how much you can comfortably put away. if you can put more away do it. but if you never spend money and deprive yourself of joy youre going to burn yourself out regardless of what your job is

⭐️ if youre not already buy store brand for as much shit as you can. if its an ingredient i promise as someone who cooks and bakes you probably wont notice the difference. if its an actual snack it depends. again both from a money perspective and to boycott pro-isreal companies we get a lot of snacks from aldis and theyre awesome. i dont miss anything from mars, oreos etc when i have my chocolate coconut wafers

⭐️ if you have any subscriptions and you need to get rid of something you can probably cancel them. for *most* things theres some kind of free alternative. but again just like with a budget. there are going to be some subscriptions that make your life easier and while youd save money without them it would lead to extra work and burning out. ex willow has kofi gold because it has really cool extra features that help with running the shop. but for streaming services? im going to be so honest. both to save money and with how cheeky streaming companies (in a bad way) have been getting… you can find whatever you want to watch online for free

if you need to use anything from the microsoft office suite, but youre not required by youre job to specifically use microsoft, libreoffice is a free alternative that i actually like better. its what i use to help willow run their shop and its free

for art programs. if you still have photoshop switch. not just for money reasons. adobe is getting bold with what they can claim as their content and use from what people produce in their program. the switch isnt the easiest but there are a bunch of alternatives. some free some like csp offer one time licenses which are so much better than subscriptions. will has spent almost $2k on photoshop and after effects from using it as long as they have. when csp is $50 and they like csp better anyways. i also know of krita and fire alpaca which are free

⭐️ also theres stuff about being an adult that i thought you had to pay for but you dont? like for car insurance i went through an independent insurance agent and they found me a cheaper plan than i could find myself. i didnt pay the guy. they get a cut from the insurance company for finding them another customer. some banks or credit cards offer financial advising sessions to users. its boring but if you can get a copy of your health insurance see if they have any free shit on there thats available for you. my brother gets free doctor finding? like i can call them, tell them what specialist he needs and instead of me calling around to find one that can take him, they connect me with someone. my work offers 3 free therapy sessions (better than nothing) and free food that i take advantage of

⭐️ i think one of the biggest things that makes an impact for us is researching before buying stuff. sounds like a no brainer but you dont just want to find the cheapest deal. you want to find the best bargain, the best bang for your buck. whats the best quality thing you can get that you can also afford? itll prevent your from having to replace stuff all the time and by extension spending more than you need to. we have nonstick pots and pans that are scratched and starting to peel (which apparently can cause cancer??) that were cheap because of being on sale. now after looking into what makes quality cookware i know i should of just slowly bought stainless steel

⭐️ last big one. credit cards. unfortunately we need them so find one with a low apr and that offers decent cash back. use it up to like 20% of your limit and pay it off every month. focus on using it on things that will get you cash back so you can essentially get free money

im sure i could ramble more but this is already super long

[someone-will-remember-us]

Tony is in his 50s and recently did a rough calculation of how much of his life he has spent looking at pornography. “The result was horrifying,” he says. It was eight years. “I can barely think about it. The sense of failure is intense.”

Tony saw his first “hardcore” film on VHS in the 1980s when he was 12. In his 20s, he connected to the internet for the first time, which turned his habit into a “full-blown addiction”. Over the past 30 years, he has just about managed to maintain a double life: he works in a caring profession, is friends with men and women, has had relationships. But there is a part of him he keeps entirely hidden.

“So far, I’ve only told three people in my life about it – two therapists and now you,” he says. “It’s a complete secret from everyone I have ever known. I’m meticulous about covering my tracks, even when in a relationship. My lack of interest in sex with my partner might be the only thing that would cause her to wonder.”

Tony has tried to stop looking at pornography multiple times, but has never managed more than a month without it. He’s tried cutting down, he’s gone cold-turkey – banning himself from masturbating and blocking porn sites. But “the addict brain is exceptionally devious and adept”, he says. He’s also tried therapy, but has found it hard to keep paying for it long-term.

Still, Tony is grateful for one thing: he was young before the internet. “At least I had a normal youth – parties, gigs, adventures with friends. I had girlfriends and a sex life. Boys like me don’t stand a chance now.”

Every statistic related to pornography use in the UK – and globally – is soaring, driven by the ubiquity of mobile phones. About 13.8 million people – a third of all adults using the internet – viewed porn online in May 2023 alone, according to Ofcom. Two-thirds of these were men. While pornography companies don’t report (or acknowledge) statistics on underage viewers, British children, on average, first watch porn at the age of 12. The children’s commissioner for England found in a recent study that much of what young people see is violent and extreme.

Jack is in his 20s and first saw pornography when he was nine. “I was with a group of friends on a school trip. It was a woman giving a blowjob, something I had never been told about in sex education.” Like many children and teenagers today, porn found Jack before he went looking for it. “It came up through things friends shared, then on flash gaming websites. I saw really bizarre things which evoked both arousal and curiosity. That gradually turned into just arousal and then compulsion grew along with it.”

Soon, the intense stimulation of the pornography he was watching meant he “lost interest in day-to-day life”. It wasn’t so much the time he spent watching porn, but the “hyper intensity” of the content. “Sometimes in a particularly addicted phase I would spend hours watching it each day,” he says. ‘‘But usually it would just be an occasional binge then less use the rest of the time … In terms of how it was affecting me, though? That was not a normal life. The porn stimulus is intense and it leads to desensitisation to the small everyday pleasures that keep us sane and content.”

When Jack started having real-life sexual experiences, “it was very difficult to maintain an erection. Real sex was less intense than the masturbation of a desensitised addict – which is what I was”. Unlike online, “there was no option to click through many possible videos for something new and more stimulating.”

Both Jack and Tony describe themselves as porn addicts. Unlike other behavioural addictions such as gambling and gaming, pornography addiction is not included in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), which is compiled by the World Health Organization (WHO). It is instead defined as a compulsive sexual behaviour.

Paula Hall is a psychotherapist who specialises in working with people struggling with their pornography use and has set up a private clinic dedicated to it in London. She has been an addiction therapist for 30 years – and started her career working with people with substance abuse issues. She believes it’s clear that pornography is addictive. “Porn use carries a risk of escalation and that is what hallmarks it for me as an addictive behaviour,” she says. “It’s a condition that causes significant suffering and we desperately need to develop resources for prevention and treatment.”

Peter Waddington is a counsellor with Relate, a charity offering relationship support, who is seeing more people with concerns about their pornography use. “Some people might be masturbating 10 times a day, up to three or four hours a go. They are physically in pain and sleep deprived. I see people who look unwell. The similarities to alcohol [misuse] are very strong … It’s also perceived as more shameful than gambling or alcohol,” he says.

“It’s helpful that it is now recognised as a compulsion by the WHO but we would like to see it classified as an addiction. If it was supported by the NHS, people could ask their GP for help.” As it stands, Waddington believes that shame can be a barrier to accessing help.

“There has been concern that by talking about pornography and sex addiction we are pathologising human sexuality,” says Hall. But, she insists, calling it an addiction is not increasing that sense of shame. “We know that alcohol is linked to violent behaviour, to coercive relationships, to heart disease, but people still enjoy alcohol. So we can acknowledge those potential risks without pathologising recreational porn use.”

Hall is finishing work on a leading study into British pornography habits with Leeds Trinity University. The aim is to help develop an online self-help programme. Out of the 193 people interviewed who felt they could not control their porn use, more than 93% reported struggling with depression. “Very worryingly, more than 40% say that, at times, they feel like ending their life,” says Hall. “In the same way that the gambling industry has been instructed to provide warnings and help problem users, the porn industry needs to do the same.”

Tony says: “I indulge in a compulsive behaviour that I feel totally unable to stop, despite severe negative consequences. I feel like an addict, I emotionally isolate like an addict, and I suffer the consequences like an addict. These websites are specifically designed to target addicts and keep them clicking.”

The algorithms that serve up new content for users “are incredibly powerful”, he says. “They tease out interests and kinks you didn’t know you had … You wouldn’t believe the number of mouse clicks you go through in a session sometimes. It’s not enough to watch the same few videos over again. It’s always more, more, more, new, new, new.”

Tony thinks this has made it impossible for him to commit to a relationship. “Porn tricked my brain into thinking I could have an endless supply of sexual partners. How does one partner compete with that? The version of me that isn’t porn addicted might have made a good husband and devoted father, but I became sexually bored and I always hid my addiction – I was never authentic.”

Pornography is often a factor in relationship breakdown, says Waddington. “For a lot of the guys I see, their partners have brought them in because they found out about secret porn viewing. Or they have become so addicted that they started watching it at work. So they need to change urgently – their world is imploding.” None of the pornography websites I approached for this piece wanted to comment.

Gunter De Win is a urologist who specialises in adolescent and paediatric urology and, each month, travels from his base of Belgium to London, where he is a consultant at University College hospital.

“Three years ago I started seeing more and more young guys coming in with erectile dysfunction related to issues with porn,” he says. “They need pornography to climax with a partner or to maintain an erection during masturbation. And they may have to watch many videos before they find one that turns them on. As a scientist, I wanted to unravel this.”

He is now part of a research group attempting to study the impact of pornography on young men’s sex lives. But, as his most recent report states, it is difficult to assess the impact that porn consumption has had on young men with erectile dysfunction as “it is more or less impossible to find a control group that is not using pornography from a young age and at the same time is not morally against its consumption”.

Teenage boys getting “performance anxiety is absolutely normal”, he says. However, De Win has seen young men concerned that they lose an erection during foreplay – which again, “is all normal”. But by watching porn so young, “they don’t understand the basics”.

De Win believes more research is needed into the impact of widely available pornography in the digital age. “Too much of the research on porn is biased either for or against,” he says.

Cold-turkey approaches such as NoFap, a US-based peer support network that encourages abstinence from pornography and masturbation as a recovery method, can have mixed results for young people, he says. “For some, going cold-turkey can be beneficial, but I see boys who end up with no sexual interest at all, which is also bad for their wellbeing.”

His solution is vastly improved sexual literacy – in sex education in schools and in the medical community – that does not condemn all pornography and masturbation as bad. “Introducing shame and guilt has consequences,” he says. For example, “if someone has a religious background and sees porn as taboo, then maybe this creates shame”. Shame, in turn, means that honest conversations around pornography do not happen.

“What I think might have steered me away from compulsive behaviour around porn might have been frank conversations with my parents,” says Tony. “My mother was extremely kind and caring but with an inability to communicate emotion. So maybe some of my tendency towards emotional isolation is just that I am my mother’s son? It’s hard for me to be sure what is really me and what is me corrupted by porn use.”

For now, nature is stepping in to help. “I’m in my 50s and my testosterone levels are dropping significantly, so that’s been a blessing and I am looking less at porn. I’m thinking now about getting help again,” he says. “But it feels like standing at the foot of Everest looking up at the summit.”