#PLEASE tear this fic apart and give me advice

[yourantag]

Do NOT Let Him Cook (Morningstar!Ithaqua×Reader)

AN: Happy White Day! I'm probably not posting more than this and the other fic I was supposed to post Valentine's Day (which, as you can see, I failed in doing) for March. I will, however, be posting a little more in April cause that is my birthday month! Expect a few indulgent fics. This fic is honestly just crack, so if you need something silly and sweet, here we are! Genuinely, do not let this man cook. Word count: 2.2k words Summary: It's White Day, a day of reciprocated love. Of course, Helel has to give you something in return for your wonderful Valentine's gift. Now, if only he could figure out how he turned a tart into a fruity croissant...

There were very few things Helel feared. The first, of course, was you. He held your heart in his hands as you did too, yes, but no one could get him to obey them quite like you could. It was loyalty, it was devotion, one reciprocated through blood and love. To possess such power over him is somewhat of a marvel, something to fear, even just a little.

The second was your death, the thought of you leaving his side forever. He'd tear apart the world, commit sacrilege in the holiest places, and declare war upon the gods before he'd let someone take you from him. Still, he cannot control plagues, time, or the hostility within the hearts of humans. Life is delicate, even Helel cannot deny that.

The third thing he feared, Helel learned, was baking.

It seems simple enough, really. Chuck a few ingredients in, mix it, then toss it in an oven. Easy, right? Looking around him now, with smoke billowing off the charred tray (and wow, he didn't know metal could burn like that), Helel was completely at a loss.

"Ah, these don't seem quite right." He muttered, scratching his cheek. All Helel wanted was to give you something in return for your Valentine's gift, something special. He had consulted many people, even asking some of the prisoners, as odd as that sounded.

Most didn't give any good responses, only saying "please let me go" or "you're going to pay for this." Terrible advice, really. Not even on topic, either, but it could be worse, he supposed. So, he went to ask his favorite person to bother.

"For the love of- just make them cookies or something!" Nebuchadnezzar had exclaimed, absolutely done with Helel's ramblings. He looked about ready to chew his tongue off so he could finally know peace again. At least death wouldn't ramble about their lover for 15 hours straight.

It had been a decent suggestion, so Helel had taken it. Perhaps he shouldn't have, considering the disaster that was most of his creations.

The counters were covered in flour, the fine powder dusting the area like snow. Splatters of batter, egg, and butter painted some places like abstract art. The worst place of all, funnily enough, was the table. It was completely clean, presenting only a few delectable looking treats.

Sadly, they were not exactly what they were made to be. Somehow, Helel had managed to make bread instead of cake, a croissant instead of a tart, and now small bricks instead of cookies. He carefully tapped one against the counter, wincing as the wood chipped under the force. The cookie, however, was fine.

'I... can't give them this.'

Helel smiled awkwardly, wanting nothing but to slam his face against a wall. He had thought "it couldn't be that hard!" and look at him now. It was pathetic, to the point he genuinely considered just asking a servant to make something instead. However, that's literally something he could do any other day. It didn't carry the significance he'd want it to.

You had given him the head of the rebellion's leader, which most would find horrifying but he found terribly romantic. The best Valentine's gift, truly. Sure, he couldn't give you something of equal value, but he could try and match the sentiment. Helel knew you loved effort and thought, so he would do his best to give you something of that in equal measure.

So, he couldn't give up. Helel once again turned to a different page in the cook book, praying to himself that he didn't fuck up this time. He couldn't possibly mess up sugar cookies, right? They were simple, so surely no matter what they'd be fine.

He was cursing himself wasn't he?

He poured the ingredients, carefully measuring them as he went through the motions. It went smoother this time since he just made cookies (if he could really call them that). With practice under his belt, Helel managed to make a tray of cookies.

"Now I roll them in sugar before baking... where's the sugar?" He looked around, grabbing at the jars in front of him.

"That's flour... that's baking powder... or is it baking soda?... that's powdered milk... wait why do we have powdered milk? Oh!" Helel smiled as he finally found what he was looking for. He didn't know how the chefs managed to get anything done with nothing labeled, but that was the beauty of not being a chef. He didn't have to know, and perhaps he never would.

So, he popped open the glass jar, pouring in the crystalline fragments into a bowl. They glimmered innocently in the light, small gems that melted upon one's tongue.

Helel quickly tossed each cookie ball into the bowl, placing them back onto the tray afterward. Making sure they weren't too close together, he arranged them one last time. Finally, he placed them in the oven. The timer would let him know when they were ready.

The man sighed, moving quickly to wash the dirty dishes. He knew he could leave it to the servants, but at this point, he just wanted to get rid of the evidence of his failures. Sure, most of his baked treats looked... fine, but the first few looked as though it had gone through someone's digestive system already.

After all was said and done, Helel felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him. If this was what the chefs dealt with on the daily, he was going to have to give them a raise. All this for some desserts? Really? They deserved to be paid more for this misery.

Checking the timer, he nodded to himself. 10 minutes was enough time to snack on something. Helel let himself drop into a seat, groaning as his weary legs finally got to rest. He grabbed the cake-turned-bread, cutting off a small slice. The cookies were a definite no, and he had his suspicions about the croissant, but the bread seemed fine.

'If I get poisoned from this, they're never going to let me live it down.'

You would absolutely make fun of him. Morningstar, the King of Babel, dying from his own creation. It sounded like a story Shakespeare wrote, really. Helel hoped more for his pride rather than his life that he wasn't that bad at baking.

Taking a few bites, he found that he wasn't dying yet. Which was relieving, of course, but to his surprise, the bread also tasted not bad. Sweeter than most breads, but nothing unbearable. It was probably going to be one of the few things he could actually share with you.

At the chime of the timer, Helel took the cookies out of the oven, letting them cool. That would give him another few minutes to start packing things up. Should he use red ribbon or white? It's a White Day gift, yes, but you told him red reminded you of him.

Humming, the young king started slicing the bread, gently placing the slices in a nice container. Perhaps he should pack some jam in the basket too- it would go well with it.

Helel glanced at the first batch of cookies, opting to dump them in the trash after a brief moment of contemplation. Could they be used as projectiles? Honestly, yes. Was he going to let anyone know he failed that badly? Never.

Finally, he took a bite of one of the croissants. It was fine as well, just odd. The fruit fillings and cream were distributed well throughout the pastry. If it weren't for the fact that it was supposed to be a tart, Helel might have been proud.

Packing those up as well, he placed the 2 containers in a basket, grabbing a few jars of jam and a butter knife. By then, the cookies were sufficiently cooled. Though, after taking another look at them, Helel wondered what he had done wrong this time.

Unlike the first batch, these cookies were puffy. They weren't like cream puffs, but they were certainly not cookies. Had he mixed up which of the powders he was using? He really wouldn't be surprised if that were the case.

The other pastries he had packed weren't made to be what they ended up as, but tasted fine anyway. Maybe, these would be the same.

So, shrugging his shoulders, Helel tossed one of the "cookies" in his mouth. 

And instantly he regretted it.

It was salty. Not salty in the pleasantly seasoned way, but salty as in if he had drank salt water it would taste better than this.

Spitting out the abomination, Helel glared at one of the jars. Of course he mixed up the sugar and salt, of course. Still, he at least had something other than this. He'd just have to dispose of these.

If you didn't find him.

The door clicks open, and Helel can't decide whether he wants to scream or jump right out the window. In the doorway, as he expects, is you. You're always welcome in his eyes, his wonderful, perfect significant other. However, at this particular moment, he really wishes you weren't here.

"Helel? What are you doing here?"

Though you ask, you already seem to at least know he was baking. Not a very hard assumption to make, all things considered, but that just makes things harder for him.

"I was... baking." He says, giving a strained smile as he slowly grabs the tray of cookies. Hopefully, if he's quick enough, you won't even notice him toss the entire thing in the trash.

'Please do not ask about these, please don't notice-'

"Is that a scone dusted in salt???" 

Helel was going to throw himself off a cliff.

"...I was trying to make sugar cookies."

The look you give him simply reaffirms his decision.

"I... see. What's the occasion?" You draw closer to him, staring curiously at the basket. He's thankful he managed to add a blanket on top beforehand, though it would've been nice if he had tied a ribbon around the handle, too.

"It's White Day, so I wanted to give you something special." Helel responded, dropping the tray with a sigh. It was too late to hide it, so why bother?

You hum softly, lips curling into a smile. You grab one of the scones, taking a bite before he can warn you. Yet, instead of spitting it out like he expected, you chewed as though nothing were wrong with it.

"Are- are you okay?" He can't help but ask. He had tried one right before you came- he knew they didn't taste good. So, how was it that you ate the entire scone without even cringing in the slightest?

"Yep, I'm fine. I'm sure you already know, but these are salty." You laugh, quickly grabbing a glass of water and chugging it. Despite the concern he feels, Helel can't help the way his chest warms. 

"Well, yeah, I was going to warn you about that. Can't believe you ate it all- I spat it out immediately. Why did you eat it anyway?" He can't help but ask. You weren't one to shy away from being honest. The fact you looked him in the eye and told him it was salty was proof enough. You weren't scared of him, so why would you put yourself through that?

You give him a smile, tilting your head towards the window. The sun is high in the sky, letting all know that it was sometime in the afternoon.

"You've been here for... I'm guessing at least 5 hours. I don't know how you haven't collapsed yet, but that's not the point right now. The point is," You take his hands into yours, kissing each of his knuckles. "I see your effort, and I don't want to let it go to waste."

Helel, for all his cruelty, his hatred, his grief- cannot be anything but in love for you. To love is to be seen, to be known, and it seems that for all his life, that's exactly what you've done. Seen him, known him, but most of all, loved him.

So, he lifts your hand to his lips, pressing kisses from your palm down to your wrist. He lingers there, letting you cradle his face as he closes his eyes.

It wasn't perfect by all means, but he thinks that this small moment is worth more than anything he could've ever orchestrated. Helel doesn't need endless praise, gifts, or overwhelming acts. All he needed was a bit of acknowledgement, a bit of love.

"Happy White Day, my sun.”

-

ALTERNATE STORY:

Helel did not realize he was that bad at baking. He completely blames Nebuchadnezzar for everything.

"HELEL, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO MAKE A MONSTER!?"

"HIS NAME IS FREDERICK KREIBURG AND HE'S SORRY TO SAY THAT HE'S FRENCH!"

"WE AREN'T EVEN IN FRANCE! WHAT DID YOU ADD TO THOSE COOKIES? THE CREMATED REMAINS OF YOUR DAD!?"

"...that explains why the sugar was so dusty."

"...Helel Morningstar Babel-"

"Ahaha... ha..."

Yeah, Helel was going to kill his brother if you didn't end up killing him first.

[raginginkedslut]

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕒𝕚𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕘

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

This is my first fic everyone so please feel free to give advice, this will be a series, I hope you enjoy 💕

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Warnings: slight mentions of mental abuse if you squint, infidelity.

Daddy Elvis in the 70s

Although there is no smut (yet) this is not appropriate for minors so if you are under 18 do not read!! 🔞

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Chapter 1: Drinks on me

After leaving your ex fiancé for cheating you find yourself at a dead end job, saving for a way out until you meet Elvis, he is persistent to take you out and you agree but will it end in romance,lust and passion or Hate,Heartbreak and Tears?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The Memphis air was hot, unreasonably so, you were used to it being hot but this was something else, you had been working all day at the diner you’d been at for the past few weeks, you’d been saving up to get your own place and move out from the apartment you shared with your ex fiancé, things had ended horribly when you walked in on him on top of some floozy he met at the club he did security for, now it wasn’t the best paying but it was better than nothing,

You where just cleaning the last table before the end of your shift when the door swung open and a group of men came in laughing and joking, you sighed as your boss gave you a look pleading you to serve this last group, you put on your best customer service smile walking over to the table, as your eyes saw a familiar face in the group beautiful black locks slicked back with a few strands falling down his forehead and big sideburns trailing down the sides of his face, the bridge of his nose held black sunglasses with gold frames, you froze realising why he was so familiar, Elvis god damn Presley you thought, you realised you had been stood there slack jawed for a little longer than you had hoped, before you could speak Elvis piped up “you okay there…” he hesitated bringing his sunglasses down to read your name badge “y/n?” You snapped out of your trance, “sorry sir, what can I get you fellas” he chuckled “I’ll have a Pepsi darling” you blushing at this pet name, his cronies gave you there drink orders not ordering any food and you walked to make everyone’s drinks, you could here laughing and joking but as you looked up Elvis wasn’t engaging, he was just sat staring at you, feeling those pools of blue burning into your skin, his mouth turned up into a wink smile, you rush over red faced with the drinks, “anything else I can get yous” one of the pals perks up and teases “ your number would be nice baby” looking embarrassed Elvis rumbled and glared at the man quickly shutting him up “ that’s all for now doll” he purred at you, causing you to smile as you walked away.

after a little while longer they finished up there drinks.

Getting ready to go leaving there money on the table, the men began piling out of the diner until it was only that tall Adonis of a man, now, he was significantly older than you and didn’t look how he used to, looking his age a bit now but that’s how you liked him, a little chunkier, those sideburns, those gold adorned fingers , everything about him made you mad “hey darling” you snap back once again staring at him for too long “yes sir “ you replied with a shy smile “sir?…” he groaned “that makes me sound old honey” he then chuckled lightly “guess I am, well I was wondering if you wanna go out for a drink sometime” he spoke hopefully you looked up at him and sighed “ I can’t I’m…” before you can finish you see the disappointment in his face “ oh it’s fine honey I’m probably to old for ya any way” he tried to deflect his embarrassment with a laugh, you grew closer, closing up the gap between you whispering slightly “ it’s not that i don’t want to, because trust me, I couldn’t think of anything I’d want more” he smirked at you “then why doll” he closes the gap even more “ I’ve just broken up with my fiancé not long back and I’m trying to get out, I can’t be getting myself tangled up in a mess when I’m just getting out of one” you see a sense of relief on his face knowing that you do want to see him again “you can come live with me” he half joked “only if there’s enough room” you chuckled back his face then lit up “ d’ya know what, i might just have enough room for you “ you giggled putting your hand on his shoulder“ look, get off work in 5 mins, think you could wait for me then we can have that drink” he grinned a crooked smile, you wagged your finger at him and semi sternly “ nothin too serious though “ he laughed and put his hands up in defence “ I’ll try, but I can’t help it if you fall for me” you bite your cheek to stop a smile forming on your face , going to turn back around it hits you and you grumble “ I have to go back to my apartment and get changed “ realising you where a sloppy mess from your shift “ ah no worries darlin, I’ll just come with ya” you looked at him and grimaced “ I don’t think that’s a good idea, a still live with my ex fiancé “ he laughed “ yeah ex… don’t matter none I won’t embarrass ya” you sighed grabbing your purse “ it’s not that it’s just…he’s a bit of a fan, he’s loved your music since he was young” your face looking saddened, Elvis saw this and pushed his finger gently under your chin to look at him “ he hurt you baby doll?” He questioned, you tried holding back tears as one escaped, that was all he needed, a wicked smile crossed his face “ all the more reason to make him jealous y/n baby “ you looked up at him and smiled wiping away the lone tear “ okay…”

You linked arms as he escorts you to his sleek black car, opening the door for you, the drive was nice, filled with chatting and laughing after a while you sighed, “ it’s just here “ he pull into the carpark of your apartment block, you brace yourself and get out of the car, he smiles reassuringly at you, this does little to comfort you as you open the door , your ex sat there cigarette in mouth, young blonde floozy on arm he starts to speak as he notices you come in “y/n you get my smokes” you hiss “ no you didn’t give me the money “ he grimaces at you “you’re such a bitch that’s why I left you…” his words trail off into mumbles as Elvis walks in glaring into your exs soul “ that ain’t no way to be treating a woman” he growled, your ex stood up standing there in shock and disbelief for just a moment when the excitement hit “god damn you…you’re Elvis Presley!” He put his hand out to shake Elvis’s looking down at his hand in disgust he replied “ last time I checked” he put his hand down hiding the embarrassment, “baby” he nudges the young blonde “ this is the singer I was showing you “ she looks up and is not fazed, she was far too young to know exactly the impact Elvis made on the world , looking back down at her magazine your ex introduces himself “ I’m Ronnie it’s such a pleasure to meet you, what’re you doing here “ Elvis smirks and looks down at you , wrapping his thick arms around your waist, “ just waitin for m’girl to get ready so I can take her out” Ronnie’s face drops “ your girl?” Elvis pulls you closer, you blush as he spits l” yeah you got a problem with that boy” he shakes his head “ n…no Elvis…it’s just she….” He gets cut off as Elvis interrupts “ it’s Mr Presley to you, and she what, hm, you two still together?” Ronnie mumbles “no mr Presley” Elvis smirks “ right well then, my girl will be getting ready” you looked at him and smiled.

You ran to your drawers and picked out a cute little number a short cut pink dress and pink kitten heels you fixed your hair and makeup before making your way back to Elvis “are you ready to go” you mewled at him “yeah baby let’s go “ his hand travelling to the arch of your back, leading you to the door “what time will you be back” Ronnie shouts “ Elvis whips his head round “ I don’t think that’s any of your business boy ,but since you asked, she won’t be “ you smile as he guides you out shutting the door behind you.

You look up at him and gently peck him on the cheek”

How funny, sticking up for you to your ex and making him sweat

How cute, calling you his girl and making you feel safe

How hot, claiming you as his own…..and you were, you just didn’t know it yet

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Thank you so much for reading I hope you liked this!, if you want to be added to the tag list for the next chapter lmk!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[winterfrostlovetriangle]

This drabble/fic - I'm not sure what the proper name is called - was inspired by this post. It struck a chord and I wanted to write something fluffy with Bucky. I didn't have a beta reader, so please excuse any mistakes.

Hands and Knives

Summary: Fluffy fic about Bucky and reader. There really isn't a plot, just cute fluffy and boosting of Bucky.

Pairings: Bucky x female reader

Warnings: None

You sat across from your friend, smiling at him sweetly, as you listened to him intently. The two of you were enjoying a night at your apartment - talking, laughing, and surrounded by snacks and beer bottles. Since he couldn’t get drunk and you were only a social drinker, you tended to keep your fridge stocked with his favorite kind of booze. You and the super soldier got together every Friday night, either at your place or his as a way to catch up on the week and to destress from life. Usually, you entertained him with stories of your students which would make him laugh and smile. It was rare to see Bucky smile, a real smile that is, and you absolutely loved it. 

Every so often, Bucky would confide in you. He would share his pain, his secrets, and memories. You always listened carefully, giving advice or simply holding him when he cried. You shared personal things with him too, but you knew it was a bigger deal for him to talk about those things. Tonight was one of those nights. He must have been feeling particularly lonely. His eyes were watery and his face somber. 

“I know better than anyone that I’m more accustomed to holding a knife than holding someone’s hand. I haven’t been with anyone in a really long time and…”

You smile sympathetically and place your hand on his metal one, tearing up at his confession. It cut you to the quick.  

“You’re a great guy, Buck. You’ll meet the right person one day…” Your chest tightened at the thought. Woah, where did that come from? You shake your head slightly before continuing. 

“I’m sure you will find someone, you just have to open your heart first and let them in. And maybe the reason you’re more accustomed to holding a knife is because you haven’t found the right hand to hold.”

You looked down at the vibranium hand, stroking the warm metal thoughtfully. You had always been fascinated by how it looked and felt, never shying away from it when Bucky moved it or used it. 

“Y/N…”

Looking up into Bucky’s face, you saw amusement and bewilderment flash across his face. His eyes lingered on your face, studying it, looking for something. He smiled then nibbled his bottom lip as his eyes wandered down to your mouth. Or did they? You couldn’t tell. Maybe you had imagined it. 

“People are afraid of my arm, though. Or they just want me to lift heavy shit so they can take a picture and post it on Tickblr or whatever it’s called.”

“It’s…oh never mind, that’s not important,” you giggled. “Not everyone is afraid of it, Bucky, or into taking pictures of you lifting “heavy shit.” Your arm is fascinating in how it works and looks.” Taking his arm in your hands, touching and examining it as you continued. “You’d think because it’s metal that it would be cold but it isn’t. It’s warm and soft and sleek.”

Bucky watches you carefully again, looking for any signs that you’re lying but can’t find anything. It amazed him when you two first met that you didn’t cower at his arm. Your eyes widened, not in fear, but in awe as you studied it. He didn’t understand your fascination with it and was careful for a long time around you. Then he started to notice that you sat or walked on his left side whenever you were together. He wanted to ask why but never did, hoping you’d explain it to him yourself, but you didn’t. After a while, Bucky stopped thinking about it altogether until tonight. 

“Y/N, why aren’t you afraid of my arm?”

You looked at him and chuckled. “Did you hear anything I just said? I find it fascinating, Bucky. Sure you can use it as a weapon, but it’s nothing to be feared. It should be celebrated for its craftsmanship…for the power that it holds - for how it works. I know that you would never hurt me. I knew that the day we met. You aren’t a born killer. You were used, abused, and made into one. You are a man, Buck. A man who deserves to be loved and cherished and made to feel like an actual human being. You aren’t the Winter Soldier anymore, you are James Buchanon Barnes,” you smile at him tenderly. “You are a good man, Bucky. You are...I wish you saw yourself how I see you and how Steve sees you. You need to accept who you were in the past and figure out what you want now that you can be and do whatever the hell you want to. Don’t let the sins of the past keep you from moving on and having a good, long life.”

You clear your throat and blush, glancing down at his hand again, muttering an apology for your rambling. Bucky lifts your chin to look at him. He had tears running down his face and his expression was soft and vulnerable. 

“Y-you really think that?” 

You nod and lean into his hand as he caresses your cheek. 

“I guess I’ve wanted to say that for a long time and didn’t have an opportunity until now.”

Bucky smiles again, pulling you into his lap, pressing his lips to yours in a tender, loving kiss. You pull back, your cheeks flushed. 

“What was that for?”

He takes your hand in his metal one and intertwines your fingers together. 

“I think I’ve finally found the right hand to hold…”

[itslottiehere]

even the sun gets clouded sometimes (h.s) —  part three

hello beautiful people! here we are, part three is all yours. this fic means so much to me, and this part is extremely autobiographic, and i just hope you don’t mind that lol. i just wanted to thank you again for the crazy support i received on this fic, it still doesn’t feel real. thank you, thank you, thank you. please, as always, read the trigger warnings. it’s a sensitive topic, and i don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable. as always, please leave your feedback in my asks on in the tags, it’s really important! without further ado, happy reading! love you all <3

> part one | part two

masterlist | leave your feedback or requests here

tw: angst, fluff, swearing, talk of self harm.

word count: 8.4k (grab a snack)

—

their movie nights became a regular thing. every week, one of them would text the other “movie night?” and in a half hour at most they were sitting on her couch, a take out of some sorts on the coffee table, deciding who could choose the movie that night. it usually happened after a hard day, like when harry’s car got totalled (and he got to sleep on her couch again. “double win this time”, he thought) or when she had back to back clients who were way too rude, and she just wanted to relax. if someone had asked her a month before if she thought about spending time with harry as “relaxing”, she would’ve laughed at their faces for 10 minutes straight. but it turned out that harry’s a great listener, a really good one. maybe not so much at giving advice.

“just tell him to fuck off.”

“harry, i can’t do that, he’s my boss!”

“and what? bosses can’t fuck off?” 

this went on for a few weeks, and in that time she got to know a little bit more of harry: his interests, his hobbies, the movies he liked best.

he was a real fan of romcoms, and the dichotomy was extremely funny: a tall, well-built man, who had a resting face that seemed to be of someone bothered 24/7, who teared up whenever he saw a cliché love story.

harry would argue all the time that he was definitely not crying, and she’d let it slide. it was kinda cute. 

she also learned that harry was a lover of cats, and wished he could get one but feared that they were going to get lonely, with him being out most of the time.

“it’d be nice to have someone around, you know? the apartment gets lonely sometimes.”

she nodded solemnly, understanding perfectly what he was saying. sometimes it was just nice to have someone there with you. not in a romantic way, not even in a friendly way, but just in.. an existing together kind of way. 

she felt the same often, and that’s why niall was frequently over at her place. he loved being at her’s — mostly for the couch and the beer she kept just for him in the fridge — and she liked the company.

harry actually found out a bit more about her. she didn’t share much — and he didn’t dare ask any personal questions this time, still embarrassed about what happened almost two months and a half before. but he learned what she did for a living, which was interesting.

“yeah, i work for a publishing company. that’s why i have a thousand books all over, i can’t seem to find a place for every one of them. but it’s okay, i love being surrounded by them.”

“but the others say that you’re on the night shift whenever you are not out with us, made me think you were a nurse?”

“oh well, they say that when i stay late at the office. i usually stay there till after 11pm, hence why they call it “the night shift”.”

“why do you stay so late?” harry inquired, putting his chin into his hand, leaning a bit forward.

“sometimes it’s because i have a deadline, or because i’m reading a draft that’s just too captivating and i didn’t even realise that time passed. i really enjoy my job, and even if sometimes i have to deal with not-so-nice clients or a crabby boss, i love it all the same.” 

“i see, that’s pretty great, actually. not many people get to say that about their job, you know?” she just nodded. “so, any new novels i should be on the lookout for?”

on friday night, harry texted her “movie night?”, even though they already had one on monday, but he was so tired from the week and just wanted to relax. and seeing her was what made him the most relaxed.

more times than not, he wouldn’t be able to finish the movie, nodding off about halfway. then he was waken up by soft — albeit, slightly cold — hands of a certain someone, who put a quilt that smelled so much like her on him and was picking up his legs, urging him to lay down and get in a more comfortable position.

she never woke him up telling him to go home, just offered him a place to stay. he really couldn’t put into words how much he appreciated that.

so, he was hoping to see her and perhaps get to sleep on that soft couch, surrounded by everything that reminded him of her. he didn’t know if it was weird, how much comfort she brought him. 

all his hopes were crushed when she texted him back.

“i’m so sorry, i’m on the night shift. rain check?” 

he stopped in his tracks. he was already on his way to pick up dinner, because she never said no. 

not even when she was on her period and wanted to just be swaddled in a soft blanket, away from the world. she told him that he could come over, but she had one simple condition.

“please bring over the greasiest burger you can think of. there’s an extra key under the doormat, i can’t stand up.” 

when he arrived, he did find the keys and he opened the door. he saw her all curled on the couch, and he could’ve just smothered her cheeks with kisses.

the thought scared him at first, but when he really thought of it, it was the same feeling he got whenever he saw a cute little kitten or puppy. like, a cute aggression kind of feeling. 

he saw her face light up as soon as he came in her line of sight.

“well, that’s a nice change.” he thought. perhaps her smile was directed to the burger sitting in the bag on the coffee table, but harry thought it was directed to him as well.

so, to hear her say she couldn’t make it to movie night, made him frown. he really, really wanted to see her. he was even going to let her choose the movie! 

but a change of plans was needed.

—

it was nearing 8pm, her stomach was rumbling and her eyes were about to close. all she wanted that night was go home, have a nice bath and get into some cozy pjs, preparing herself for the christmas shopping she had to do during the weekend. 

the thought of asking harry to come over for a movie night crossed her mind, but she didn’t want to bother him, he probably had better plans for a friday night. she was more of a homebody, so staying at home sounded like a dream, but harry told her he liked going out in clubs and such.

that’s why she was surprised when he texted her, and she hated telling him no, but she had too many things on the following monday, so she thought she would get ahead as much as she could.

which meant that she had to turn down movie night, and she just knew he had that cute pout on his lips, that he’d get once she’d won the third round of “rock, paper, scissors” for who could choose the movie that night.

around 8:15, there was a soft knock on her office door.

“oh sorry guys, i’ll get out right now but you can also not clean this room, i’m going home late!” she got up from her chair and started picking up her papers so she could get out of the cleaning crew’s hair.

but when a familiar mop of curly hair came through the door, she stopped cleaning up.

“harry? what are you doing here? is everything okay?”

“yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. i brought dinner.” he came through the door and walked into her office.

“but... why? a-and how do you know where i work?” she looked at him quizzically.

“i texted sarah and asked her for the address. and why? can’t i just want to see you?”

she couldn’t stop her cheeks from getting warm, as warm as the feeling she was feeling in her belly. he wanted to see her. 

“no no, of course.” she coughed a little. “please sit. and thank you so much, i’m so hungry.”

“yeah, i know, i could hear your stomach growling from the end of the hall.” he chuckled.

“hey!” she acted offended, but was smiling as wide as him.

they ate their dinner — well, she inhaled her food — and they chatted a bit.

“so, tell me more about your job. about you, in general. it feels like i’ve done all the talking these last couple of months.” he cleaned his hands on the paper towel, getting his fingers clean from the sticky sauce.

“uhm, i don’t have much to tell, i’m not that interesting to be honest.”

“i think i have to disagree.” he looked up at her, and she could feel herself swoon. “why are you here tonight?”

“oh, i just have back to back staff meetings on monday morning, and then i have meetings with clients in the afternoon and i’m not going to be done with everything in time if i don’t stay late tonight. i need to have the weekend free of work.” she confessed, clearing up her desk from their containers. 

“need a weekend away from everything?” he wondered. 

“i do, yeah.” she smiled. “but that’s not happening this weekend, unfortunately. i have to shop for christmas presents, i’m already late and i have to get them all at once, and it’s really overwhelming.” she sighed.

“you’re tired.” he noted.

“not all that nice to hear that for a woman, you know? it means i look bad.” 

“no, it’s not what i meant. i just can see your eyes halfway closed. you can’t work right now, you’re falling asleep.”

“but i need to, harry, i have to fin-“

“no, you don’t.” he interrupted her, his gaze piercing. “i’m getting you home. and i won’t take no for an answer.” 

“but harry, i-“

“nope. we’re going home.”

“but-“

“do i need to pick you up and carry you to the car? because i will do it if you keep fighting me on this.”

she looked at him, wondering how the hell they ended up there. 

harry just tilted his head to the side. “you ready?”

it felt like she had no other choice but to nod.

—

when she asked him to stay and watch a movie, harry couldn’t say no, finally getting what he wanted all along.

this time he knew he probably wasn’t going to be the one to fall asleep first, for once! as soon as she was asleep and in bed, he was going to go home. 

his plans slightly changed though, because a sleepyhead decided to rest her head on his lap, and he couldn’t move an inch. he wouldn’t.

and honestly? he really didn’t want to. 

it was like when a cat decides to rest its head on you. you are the chosen one, and you will not move till the cat moves first. 

now, instead of a cute ball of fur, there was a just as cute girl, curled up with her hand close to his knee, lightly fisting the fabric of his trousers. 

she didn’t fall asleep that way, but when harry saw the uncomfortable position in which she passed out, he had to do something to make her a little more comfortable. and that’s how they ended up here.

he saw her sleeping before — at adam’s cabin, especially — but never got to linger on her features.

he could see she had a slight furrow in her brows, and he just wanted to put the pad of his finger against her skin and smooth it out. was she having a bad dream? was she overthinking even when asleep? was she uncomfortable? 

then he focused on the curve of her nose, and lastly on her lips. they were slightly pouted, a bit open, and just looked so soft. so pretty, and pink, and soft.

harry couldn’t say this was the first time he thought something like that. he found himself often looking at her lips, especially since she told him she usually focuses on them when people talk.

“like, i don’t want to seem like a creep, but if i don’t watch a person’s mouth while they talk to me, it’s like 90% of the information doesn’t reach my ears.” 

and since then, he couldn’t stop himself from doing that. although, he often did that with her only. 

huh, weird.

and then he started watching her lips when she would eat, seeing how she kept them shut while she was chewing, because she couldn’t bear hearing people making noises with their mouths when they eat. harry got a pillow straight to his face one time, followed by the threat of her smashing his teeth in if he didn’t cut it out. a feisty one, she is.

and while he observed them in all of these occasions, he noticed how plump they were, how pink and just... pretty.

one night, when he was a bit tipsy, he was just about to tell her all of this, but thanks to his lucky starts sarah unknowingly came to his rescue, tearing her away from him and dragging her to the bathroom.

he thought that was for the best, she should never had to know the thoughts he had swirling through his mind. it mostly happened when he was unconscious, especially when he was staying over at her house.

“it’s just because you’re literally surrounded by her stuff. you are in her apartment, on her couch, with her quilt around you, her smell lingering. it’s fine.” he thought to himself, a pathetic way of shoving his dreams out of his mind.

when he first dreamt about kissing her, he was scared shitless. they had been friends for about a little over a month then, and he felt a bit weird dreaming about a friend that way. 

it wasn’t even something dirty, they were just having fun at the park, he was pushing her on the swings.

“higher, harry, higher!” 

“love, if i push you any higher you’re going to fall!” he said laughing.

“i don’t care, just do that, please!”

“no love, i can’t, you’re gonna get hurt.” 

she started slowing down once he stopped pushing her and when she was almost still, he came in front of her, stopping her for good when he placed his hands on her knees, crouching down a little to get to her face level.

when he caught the look she had on her face, he could’ve just melted. she was pouting, pouting, for pete’s sake.

“hey, what’s this all about?” he said, pointing at her lips.

“you didn’t push me higher.” she looked at him, trying her hardest to keep her pouting face, but he could see the smile that wanted to creep up on her face. 

“aw baby, want me to make it better?” he said sweetly, tilting his head to the side.

“yes, please. thank you.” she smiled a little, looking at him. 

and that’s when he leaned in, leaving a sweet kiss, taking her plush bottom lip between his. he could feel her crumble underneath his touch, even if he was seeing this from a third person point of view. he could feel the soft skin of her lips, tasting her cinnamon chapstick, and what he imagined — and was almost positive — she just tasted like: the sweetest nectarines of the best summer of your life.

when he pulled away, he saw her eyes were still closed, as if she was wanted to bask in the moment for just a second longer.

“made it better?” he told her, smirking at her still flushed face.

“mmh mmh, i think so.” she finally opened her eyes, and smiled back at him. “now, your turn!”

“love, how do you think you’re going to be able to push me!” 

“shut up, i’m strong.” he gave her a cut the bullshit look, and she was absolutely offended. “i’ll show you, c’mon! get on then!” 

he woke up gasping, looking around the room to understand where he was. when he realised he was at her apartment, he groaned a bit. of course he was. 

as said, he was scared. not just by the kiss itself, but by the sheer intimacy of it, because it clearly wasn’t the first they shared, anyone could’ve seen that. he also noticed how happy she was, how loud her laugh was, how comfortable she had to feel with him to show him her more childish side.

what scared him most, you ask?

the fact that he envied the dream version of him. 

ever since then, those kind of dreams came to his mind often, but he always pushed them aside, as games his mind was playing on him. he didn’t think about kissing her when he was awake, did he?

“no, i don’t”, he kept telling himself.

but seeing her all curled up against him, her lips looking so soft and plump made him think twice about his words. 

instead of just laying one on her — when she was unconscious, may he add — he decided to tuck the hair that fanned over her face behind her ear, with a touch so light he thought that he wasn’t even touching her. but he wanted this contact to last a little bit longer.

so, he lightly grazed his finger over her cheek. even her skin was soft as a pillow, what was wrong with her?

he run his thumb along her jaw, and when he felt her shift, he panicked.

“shit, shit, shit, don’t wake up, don’t wake up, please.” he murmured so quietly it was barely a whisper, putting his hands up as if she was going to go off like a bomb.

she didn’t wake up, but she did turn her head, from facing the tv to facing harry. she brought her hand again at — now — the top of his thighs, but instead of holding onto his trousers, she gripped his sweater, that was a bit baggy.

“thank fuck” he thought, because she would’ve grabbed his crotch if she didn’t find that sweater. 

—

after the movie was over — harry didn’t pay too much attention to it, after she fell asleep — he thought it was time to make her go to bed and rest properly. but he really didn’t want to wake her up.

so he tried to pry his sweater away from her fist, just so he could lay down her head on the couch and get up. he did just that, and once he was on his feet, he crouched down again, putting one arm under her knees and one under her back, picking her up. 

when she was finally in his arms, she curled up against him, tucking her head in his chest, a hand spread at the center of it. harry looked up to the ceiling, asking any god or ethereal being what the hell did he do to deserve this.

once they reached her bedroom door, he opened it with his foot and carried her to her bed. he tucked her in, and as he was about to leave when he felt someone gently take his wrist, and heard a soft voice, barely a whisper.

“stay over? don’t wanna wake up alone.”

and could he really say no to that? 

could he really say no to her? 

she was asleep before he could answer, so he just took her hand, squeezed it and told her under his breath. “of course, love.”

—

the following morning harry woke up before her, which was kind of unusual. she was usually the one who stirred him awake to have breakfast — she got better at cooking eggs and pancakes, so he didn’t have to lie anymore about just drinking coffee in the mornings. 

but last night she must’ve been spent, she probably wanted to sleep in a little more.

that gave him time to look around her living room, seeing how she decorated for christmas. there was a huge tree, probably almost three meters, with warm yellow fairy lights and red and gold adornments, a shiny star on the top.

then there were all kinds of trinkets all around, even little statues of mary, jesus and joseph, the whole nativity scene. he didn’t know she was a religious person. 

he thought it must’ve taken her so long to decorate all by herself, especially the tree. she probably climbed over something to put the star on top, risking to fall down and get hurt. couldn’t she have asked him to help her?

he decided to stop lurking and go into her kitchen to fetch some ingredients to make her breakfast, for a change. when breakfast was almost ready, he decided to go wake her up.

he walked into her bedroom as quietly as possible, not wanting to startle her awake. when harry reached her sleeping figure, he put his hand on her shoulder, shaking a little.

“good morning, sleepyhead. it’s time to wake up.”

she grunted in response.

“c’mon now, breakfast is almost ready.”

she grunted again, making him chuckle.

“not a morning person, are you?”

“just five more minutes, please.” she croaked. he muttered a low “alright”, and went to go back to the kitchen, but her fingers grabbed his wrist.

“stay here, i’m cold. heater must not be working properly.”

he couldn’t say if he was more happy or shocked by her request. smirking, he sat back down on the bed, close to her legs. but that wouldn’t cut it, clearly. 

“what are you doing all over there? get in here.” she moved the comforter and patted the bed underneath. when she noticed he wasn’t moving from his spot, she spoke up again. “hey, get in here quick, the heat is going to leave.”

he chuckled, and finally stood up and got into bed beside her. he wasn’t even in there for two seconds, that she was already wrapped around him, as if he was going to disappear.

“just five minutes, right?” he softly asked her, his arm going around her shoulders, hand on her bicep.

“yeah, five minutes.” her face was tucked in his neck, and he could feel her lips grazing the skin of his throat when she spoke.

she really was cold, and she had been the whole night. when he carried her to bed last night, she was half awake, and when she asked him to stay over, she imagined he was going to sleep with her in her bed. but then, he went back to the living room, and she was just too tired to call him back.

so, when harry came to wake her up, she tried putting it a little more plainly, and even then the man couldn’t take the hint. 

5 minutes soon turned into an half hour, and she can’t lie: she never felt so comfortable. who knew harry was so great at cuddling?

the both of them were in that sleepy state when you’re not really asleep but you’re not totally awake either, and if she didn’t have to run to the shops to buy christmas presents, then she would’ve stayed there for the whole day. 

harry could describe the feeling as heaven, nothing ever felt so right. how come they didn’t cuddle before? 

but other questions came to mind: what’s happening? why did he wish he could stay in this bed forever? why does her tracing patters on his chest make him feel like he’s on a rollercoaster? 

when they finally dragged themselves out of her bed — that was even more comfy than her couch, if possible — breakfast was indeed ruined and they decided to eat while they went out.

“wait, you want to go christmas shopping with me?”

“you’re the nut job who’s going shopping for presents five days before christmas. you need all the help you can get.”

and so, off to the shops they were.

but here’s the thing: how can you purchase a present for someone who’s right there with you? and what the hell would he like for a present? she had absolutely no clue what to get him.

maybe he wasn’t getting her a present, but she wouldn’t care, after all they started being friends only for a few months before, she wasn’t expecting anything from him. but hell was going to freeze over before she didn’t get him a present, that was for sure.

she got all the others presents, and harry went back to her apartment, looking like a porter with all the bags he had in hand.

“you sure you got everything? don’t you have a third grade cousin that needs something? or a remote uncle that you haven’t seen in 17 years?”

“my god, you should be a comedian.” she looked at him with a fake smile.

“i don’t even know how they are going to receive these if you bought them today.” he scoffed. “mind opening the door for me, darling?”

“i’m trying! you’re a pain in the ass, styles.” she grumbled. “and i’m going to spend tonight packing them, and then i’ll overnight them. i don’t know if they’ll get the presents in time for christmas, but it’s the thought that counts.”

she finally managed to open her apartment door, and let harry go in first: the man couldn’t wait to drop all the boxes and bags.

“and i wouldn’t have this problem if i went back home for the holidays, but i’m not, so here we are.” she said while closing the door.

“why aren’t you going home?” and why did she sound so upset about it?

“you know, work, life, stuff. i hope to see them a little later next year, but going back now was impossible for me.” she shrugged.

“i see. at least we’re going to spend it all together, though?”

“yeah, it’s going to be great, i bet.” she gave him a tight lipped smile, which didn’t sit right with him.

“what’s up?” he asked.

“nothing, what?”

“you’re not the only one who can read people. tell me what’s going on in your mind.” he looked at her pacing around the room, leaving the presents on the kitchen table.

“it’s nothing important, it’s probably going to sound so silly, you wouldn’t-“

“i wouldn’t have asked if i didn’t care. please, tell me.”

she took a deep breath and sat on the couch. “it’s just that christmas is my favourite holiday. i love the atmosphere and back home we really celebrate christmas: a table of no least than 20 people, all the aunts and uncles and cousins, people who i probably see once a year, at that very dinner.

and then we have all these traditions, little things that make me miss home. like, my mum used to wake up me and my sister with christmas music on christmas day, every single year, and she still does it every time we get back home for the holidays.

or like, on christmas eve, me, mum and my sister go to the church i used to go to when i was younger for the vigil, and we have this mass that it’s like two hours long but it’s just so beautiful. i wouldn’t consider myself a religious person, but being in that room just brings me so much comfort that i can’t even put into words.” she looked up at him, eyes a bit teary.

“then we used to come home, around 11am and we would watch “the grinch” while we waited for midnight to open our presents.” she sighed. “it’s such a special holiday for me, and when i think about the fact that there was a time when it didn’t feel like that, when i was away from them... i don’t know, it makes me sad.” she gave him a small smile, looking down at her shoes.

“hey.” he put his hand on her knee. “we don’t have to talk about this, any of this. i’m sorry i pushed you, i didn’t want to make you sad.”

“no, it’s okay.” she swallowed thickly. “i- uh.” he saw she was struggling to find the words.

“i think i’d like to speak about that, if you wanted to hear about it. i don’t want to force you to stay there and just... i don’t know, throw all my trauma at you.” 

“you wouldn’t. i would gladly listen, if you feel comfortable enough, though. niall is going to rip my head off if you aren’t.” the last part he murmured under his breath.

“what was that?” she inquired.

“nothing important, love. whenever you are ready.”

she took another deep breath, sitting crisscrossed on the couch, facing him but with her head looking towards her fingers, which she was basically tearing apart. 

“since i was a child, i used to feel things, emotions, very strongly. i would always say that they would feel amplified, and i absolutely loved that. i loved feeling everything so deeply, because it reminded me that i was alive and i was here and i could do anything i wanted to. but once i moved away, i don’t know what happened, but i just started feeling a little less, and a little less. till i was numb. 

i was desperate, i couldn’t recognise the person looking back at me in the mirror. i didn’t cry, i didn’t laugh, i was just... being, existing. i was younger, i was stupid and i did something even more stupid, just wishing that i would feel something, even if that something was pain.” her voice started wavering, she pulled her lips in her mouth in an attempt to stop her tears from falling.

harry was watching her, but didn’t dare utter a word. she was finally opening up — he doesn’t know if for the first time ever or not, but he didn’t dream of interrupting her, if she wanted to go on.

after a little while, when it seemed like she calmed down a bit, she resumed talking. 

“it went on for a while. it wasn’t just the physical aspect of it that was causing me problems, but also the mental state i was in. i cut everyone out of my life, didn’t go home for two years straight: i skipped christmas, birthday dinners, anniversaries. i felt like the worst person ever walking on earth, but i still couldn’t really feel anything. and that just made me spiral, because i was mourning the person i was before. i missed her. fuck, i missed her so much.” she sniffled. 

“but then, one day i just knew that it all was getting too much, that i couldn’t keep going like this or else the ending i was heading towards was going to be catastrophic. so i reached out and asked for help: i went to therapy, and i still go to this day. not exactly for the same reasons, but mostly to have a place where i can just let go, i guess.” she stopped and looked at harry, who was staring at her, his brows lightly furrowed, meaning he was listening to every word.

“and therapy really helped getting me out of that mental space. it was difficult, uncomfortable, i had my fair share of setbacks, but during one session my therapist told me something that i hold close to my heart to this day, ever since then.” she smiled to herself, eyes focused on the cushion she was sat on.

“she told me: ‘you know, even the sun gets clouded sometimes.’ even the happiest people — or what seem to be the happiest of people — have their dark days. and that’s fine. you just need to get through them.”

harry thought that no metaphor could ever be as perfect to describe her as this one was.

he was still silent, waiting to see if she had anything else to add. but she misinterpreted his silence for something bad. 

“oh god, i’m sorry if this was too much for you, you could’ve told me to stop but since you didn’t i went on and i didn’t even check-”

he couldn’t stop himself from grabbing her waist and make her straddle his lap, arms tightening in a hug that could’ve crushed her bones, but he didn’t care, he just wanted to have her close. his face tucked in her neck, inhaling her perfume, and he hoped she could understand from this hug everything he wanted to say, but couldn’t find the right words to say out loud.  

he didn’t need to say anything, all she had to know was expressed by the way he was hugging her. his face rested in her neck, her hand went straight to his hair, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. 

she doesn’t know for how long they stayed like that, but didn’t even care.

—

christmas was around the corner. on monday, she went to the post office, dropped off every present, went to work and had the full day she knew she was going to have, but she had just two more days of work before christmas eve, then she’d spend that beautiful following day with her friends. it wasn’t going to be like at home, but it was with another family she loved just as much. 

during these two days, she worked hard on harry’s present. she didn’t know if it was going to be as good as she wanted it to be, but she’d try her very best to make sure it was.

on christmas eve, she stayed home putting the finishing touches on the presents that she had to bring the following day at sarah’s, and checked on the food she had to prepare for their dinner. 

around 9pm, she sat down on the couch, looking at her decorated apartment.

the christmas tree she got was almost a carbon copy of the one her mum had at home: three meters tall, way too big for her living room; even the decorations were very similar. 

she was sad about not being able to go home that year, but she had to be back to work on the 27th and it wasn’t smart to make such a long trip for just one day, even if it was a special one. 

but there was something more that was making her sad, or well, worried: she hadn’t skipped christmas since those years. she wasn’t in that mental place anymore, she had been clean for years now, but you can never know what could trigger you and make you fall back in old habits. 

so she tried not to think about that, but of course she just couldn’t stop. she started feeling guilty for behaving the way she did, cutting everyone out of her life, lying to them and pretending she was alright. in her mind, she knows she wasn’t in a good mental state, but that didn’t take away any of the guilt she was feeling. 

her thoughts were interrupted by a knocking on the door. she thought that maybe it was the landlady coming by to wish a happy christmas — she was a lovely older lady who always gave her candy whenever she ran into her. 

but when she opened the door, she found someone a little bit younger than her 70-year-old landlady.

harry stood there with a bottle of red wine and a present in hand. 

“happy christmas eve. let me in?”

“and here i thought you were a caroller. you sure you don’t want to sing anything?”

“shut up and let me in, it’s freezing.” 

this was probably the first time harry came over unannounced. he always texted her first, or waited for her to text him for their movie nights, but since she told him about the traditions she had with her family back home, he knew he had to do something. 

it wasn’t hard to understand that this holiday season was hard for her, not only because she was far from her family, but because of what happened in the past when she was away from them.

harry could imagine the kind of thoughts that had been swimming in her head these last few days, and he couldn’t stand it. no one should have these kind of thoughts ever, especially not during the holidays. 

especially not her.

so, he decided to participate in one of the little traditions she told him about, and thought that maybe they could watch “the grinch” together and open their presents at midnight.

when he told her this, she had the prettiest smile on her face. she never smiled at him like this, and this time he was sure that it was for him. that made him smile just as wide.

they watched “the grinch” together and they both teared up at the part where he was picked on at school. 

harry was shocked when she told him that cindy lou was played by the same actress that played jenny humphrey in gossip girl.

“no fucking way that’s her! she looks so sweet here!” 

“people grow up, harry.” she laughed. “and hold on- you watched gossip girl? how have you never shared this with me?”

“didn’t think it was an interesting fact to share.”

“are you kidding me? it’s a very important piece of information! you can’t trust anyone these days.” she muttered ironically, but that didn’t stop harry from throwing a pillow at her. 

once the grinch was over, it was around 11:30, so they decided to make some hot chocolate and wait for midnight.

“alright, 11:59, one minute to go!”

“you know it’s christmas and not new year’s, do you?”

“yes, you ass, i do know. but i wanted to wish you merry christmas at exactly midnight.”

harry smiled at her, shaking his head lightly.

they looked at each other, until her screen showed 12:00am, making it officially christmas day.

“merry christmas, harry.” she said sweetly.

“merry christmas, love.” he answered back, looking at her fondly. 

“now, for the good part... presents! wait here, i have to get yours in my bedroom.”

“ooh, i like where this is going.” he said smirking, earning an eye roll from her.

“get your mind out of the gutter, styles. you little freak.” 

he shook his head, but he was getting a bit antsy. what if she didn’t like his present? what if he didn’t like her present and his poker face wasn’t good enough and he made her feel bad? he was sure she could’ve gifted him something straight out of the trash and he would’ve loved it, but you never know.

she came back into the living room, and he could see she was feeling the same way as him. she sat back down on the floor with him, near the tree, and had her presents in hand. 

wait, presents, plural. 

he was fucked, wasn’t he?

“they aren’t the greatest presents and i usually am great at gift giving, like insanely good. but i really did try my best and i hope i didn’t disappoint too much. go easy on me, please.” she said the last bit laughing, but he could feel the insecurity in her voice.

he wanted to let her know that she would never disappoint him, but no words were coming out of his mouth.

huh, so your smart mouth can talk shit all day but can’t pay her a compliment?

but it felt like she already knew.

“so, this one first.” it was in a tube, and he didn’t know what to think. so he was quick to open it, and he smiled widely when he saw what it was. 

“it’s a movie poster where you can scratch the movies you have seen. i bought the same one, i want to put it up the wall, so we can see those movies together and scratch them.” she said, looking down at her hands.

“i love this. this is so beautiful, thank you so much.” he said truthfully. it was such a sweet gesture, and of course she would think of such a thing.

“alright, then for the second present. i thought the first one wasn’t going to be enough-” he went to interrupt her but she wouldn’t let him. “no, you shush. i thought it didn’t convey how much i care about you, so i wanted to give you this.” 

she gave him the next gift, that resembled a book a lot. when he opened it, he smiled to himself: “the unbearable lightness of being”.

she told him a thousand times that this was her favourite book and that he just had to read it, because it changed her life. but when he opened the book and flipped through the pages, his breath hitched.

this was her own copy.

“i, uh. i annotated it for you. i know it’s a used copy, — and i’ve read it like 20 times i think, so it’s pretty used — but i felt like it was just right to use my own. it’s kind of like i’m giving a piece of me to you, and i wouldn’t want to give it to anyone else, to be honest.”

he heard what he said, but couldn't tear his eyes from the book in his hands.

inside the first page, there was a small inscription.

“thank you for being here even when it’s cloudy. merry christmas, H.”

he was staring at the words scribbled on the page, wondering how lucky he had to be to be there, with her.

“it’s okay, if you don’t like it, i can just-”

“please, stop with that. i love it, i’m just speechless, i don’t think a thank you is gonna cut it.” 

“a thank you is more than enough, harry. it’s nothing too special.” she shrugged. 

“it is to me. and i’ll hold onto this forever, i promise you.” he said looking deep into her eyes, making her soft.

“i’m glad you like it, then.” she smiled. “and you speechless? that can be my present, holy shit!” she tried to lighten the air a bit, given the seriousness of that moment.

“heyy! rude.” he scowled. “now, for your present.” 

he gave her a box, wrapped with a pretty bow and a note attached to it; she decided to read what he wrote before opening the present. 

she was so giddy, anxious and happy. she couldn’t believe she was actually here with harry, reliving a tradition she only had at home. and she couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that this was all harry’s idea, that he wanted to make her feel as if she was home. 

she was just so grateful for that mishap in the woods back in october, because it brought them here, and she wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

she opened the little envelope, and took out the note.

“with the hope you’ll find your eugene fitzherbert soon enough.”

she looked up at him quizzically, but he just tilted his chin forward, silently telling her to open the box and check for herself what his note was referring to.

when she finally opened it, she felt her jaw hitting the floor.

“it’s a first edition. you probably already know this, but rapunzel is a story by the grimm brothers. and i know there’s no eugene fitzherbert in this one, and i know you love him, but i couldn’t not buy this when-”

he couldn’t finish his sentence because she threw herself in his arms, tackling him to the ground with her on top.

“this is the best thing anyone has ever gotten me. you’re just the sweetest harry, i can’t believe you did this for me. i don’t deserve this, oh my god.” she whispered in his neck, her lips grazing the soft skin. he felt the small kiss she left right on his throat, and he hugged her tightly against him, as if he wanted for them to stick together. 

“you deserve this and more, love.”

they stayed on the ground for a little while, and when she was trying to pull away he just hugged her closer.

“just, uh. just one more minute, okay?” he said lowly.

“of course. whenever you want to let go.” 

he thought he never wanted to.

but when she tried to pull away again, he couldn’t stop her.

“now my presents look like shit, in comparison to yours.” she pouted, but it was soon replaced with a smile. “i can’t even think about how much you spent over it, my goodness. you’re nuts.”

harry just chuckled, and she started talking again, looking at him in a new way. 

“uh, can i do something? but you have to tell me if you’re not comfortable and if you want to stop right away, because i don’t want you to feel forced into anything and-”

harry quickly picked up where this was going, so he placed his hand on the back of her neck, sat up, went and shut her up for good. 

her lips felt as soft as they looked, as soft as they did when he’d dream about them. this was what heaven felt like, he was sure of it.

he lightly bit her lower lip, taking it between his front teeth, earning a small whimper from her. he was going to die, he was sure of it. but if this is the last thing he got to do, he’d pass away peacefully.

she had been waiting for this moment for so long, and now that it was happening it felt like she was walking on air. his lips felt like soft pillows against her own, and she could taste the hot chocolate on them and his tongue. she couldn’t get enough.

when he pulled her bottom lip with his front teeth — those bunny teeth she was lucky enough to see whenever he gifted her a toothy grin — she couldn’t help but whimper against him, melting even more when he sucked on it lightly, as if to make it better.

they kept kissing until they were out of breath, but it seemed like neither of them wanted to leave the other’s lips for even just a second, afraid that this perfect moment was going to disappear. 

but harry pulled away first, afraid of actually passing out if he kept going.

and god, he couldn’t believe the sight he had in front of him: her eyes still closed, as if she was wanted to bask in the moment for just a second longer.

exactly like he dreamt about.

when she fluttered her eyes open, he knew he was done for. that was it, the peak of his existence. how had she gotten him so wrapped around her little finger? he was absolutely whipped for her.

she looked into his eyes, those pools of green that had always drawn her in. eight months ago, they looked at her with something very close to disdain, but now? disdain was the furthest thing she could find in them.

and fuck, was she glad about it.

after they stared at each other for a while, she spoke up again. “i still feel like i need to pay you back somehow, that present was too much.”

“mmh, i think i have an idea.” he smirked, leaning in.

“oh really?” she said teasingly, leaning in as well.

“mmh mmh.”

and they kissed again. and again. and again. and a little more after that.

—

on christmas morning, she woke up snuggled in her comforter, with two arms wrapped around her midsection, keeping her close. she sighed with content.

could things get any better?

“‘morning, love.”

apparently they could. he felt his lips kiss her head, but she wanted more. she turned around to face him, and didn’t wait a second to smash her lips against his, hearing him hum against her lips.

“good morning, bub.” she smiled against his lips, leaving another quick kiss. “sorry, i didn’t even brush my teeth.” 

he shook his head, grinning at her. “don’t care, not even in the slightest. i’ve waited for way too long to do this, so please do whenever you want to.” to mark his words, he kissed her again.

“you did?” she looked up at him and he nodded. 

“waited a long while for you, darling. i don't mind having waited now, though.” 

“ah, you’re such a sap. no surprise you love romcoms.” she smacked his chest lightly, leaving her hand right above his heart.

“hey! don’t be rude now.” he scolded her with a smile on his lips.

“alright alright, you walmart version of ryan gosling.”

“oh, you’re going to regret this.”

—

harry had to go back to his place to get ready and pick up the gifts to bring to sarah’s. 

“can’t you come with me?” he pouted.

“i’m sorry, i have to shower, get dressed and stuff. i’ll see you in a little while, i promise.”

“you could just wear my stuff.”

that made her feel all gooey on the inside, but also made her chuckle. “don’t worry, i’ll steal all your hoodies in no time. i've already started, if you remember.” she smiled, leaving a small peck on his nose.

“good. they look better on you anyway.” he pecked her lips three times before kissing her for a little longer. 

“okay, now you have go or else we’re going to be late.” she said between kisses.

“mmh mmh, you’re right, should definitely go.” he said, but just went ahead and kissed her, before she pushed her hand against his chest.

“stop it, we really are going to be late. i’ll see you soon, i promise.” she smiled softly at him, lightly shoving him outside her door.

who thought harry could be such a softie? again, herself from 8 months ago would be laughing like a crazy person if she knew that harry was at her doorstep, pouting because he had to go home and couldn’t keep kissing her. 

a couple of hours later, she was dressed up and ready to go. she heard her phone ring, meaning she received a message. glancing at her phone, she couldn’t help the smile on her face.

“i’m on my way. you ready?”

“yes, i am, E.”

“don’t know if you thought this was another person you spent all day kissing, but my name starts with an H, love.” 

she didn’t bother telling him why she called him E, maybe he’d get it someday. 

—

here it is! it’s time to say goodbye to these two softies. this fic is probably the best thing i’ve ever written, and i’m incredibly proud of it. i hope you enjoyed it as well! thank you so much for your support, it’s been crazy. thank you!

tag list (for those tagged, do you want to be on the permanent tag list? let me know!):

@his-only-angel-1989 @sunshinemoonsposts @cherrysulewski @idgasb @feestyles @msolbesg @call1800coochie @a-strange-familiar @the-art-of-living-honestly @onlyangel-k @sushiirestaurant @annesauriol @longingtobewithu @jjharry @hes-club @fairyinpurple @harrysbigspoon

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Darkness Declares Glory | Chapter 9 | S.R

Previous Chapter

A/N - this fic deals with some very dark themes such as drug use, self-harm and suicidal ideation. Please proceed with caution and Minors DNI. There is a reader insert but it is very Spencer-centric.

Chapter Summary - George offers Spencer some words of advice as they grow closer. A familiar face from his past surfaces but things don’t go as Spencer anticipated.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - dark angst | smut | eventual happy ending.

Warnings - Spencer’s wrongly directed anger, suicidal thoughts, past drug addiction, flirty nurse, aggression, threatening behaviour, mentions of bisexual Spencer, tears, suicidal ideation, Garcia’s flashback, vomit.

WC - 4.9k

Chapter 9 - Don't You Dare Forget the Sun

He had a long time to think about Maggie’s words as he was left alone for the rest of the day. His only interaction came in the form of an orderly bringing his lunch and then later dinner. 

He wasn’t sure if it was in protest or just not being hungry, but Spencer didn’t eat a thing. Instead he slowly pulled apart his food and made a game out of throwing it at the wall. He enjoyed the mess it made. 

Once the sun had gone down he slipped out of bed and hopped to the desk before opening his journal. He stared at the next blank page for some time, but when he did start writing, the words flowed. 

I’ll never forgive her for this. I’ll never be able to look at her the same. It’s her fault I’m here, she made the call, she got the judge to sign the preventive confinement order. 

I hate her for doing this to me. I hate all of them for doing this to me. It’s doing more harm than good, I can feel it…I can feel it slowly destroying me. 

If I can’t get my hands on those drugs I will find a way to kill myself. I’ll think of something…I’ll formulate a plan one way or another. It’s drugs or death. 

If she’s gotten her hands on this it’s because I couldn’t get the drugs and I’m already dead. And I hope she knows this is all her fucking fault. I hope she takes the guilt to her own grave.

In putting me in here, she basically signed my death warrant. So I hope for as long as she lives, she hates herself for what she’s done. I hope it’s her that has to explain to Henry and Michael and little Hank why Uncle Spencer isn’t around anymore. 

I hope it’s her that has to tell my mom what happened to me, explain all the grisly details of how they found me with my throat slashed or hanging from the rafters from a noose I made out of bed sheets. 

I hope the team falls apart. I hope every single one of them carry my death on their shoulders for the rest of their days. 

I hope if you’re reading this, you know you’re the one that really killed me, Emily Prentiss. 

***  

His night was spent mostly staring at the same ceiling, unable to give over to sleep. He was already awake the next morning when he heard the trolleys being wheeled down the corridors and the nurses skirting from room to room.

He knew it was George who entered his room without tearing his eyes away from the ceiling. He had a distinctive smelling aftershave and it wafted straight to Spencer’s nose. 

“I hear I should be thankful I wasn’t on the morning shift yesterday.” He spoke as he wheeled the trolley towards Spencer’s bed. 

“News of my breakdown travels fast.” He sighed, looking at George now. 

“You scared the crap out of poor Linda.” George picked up the medicine cup and a cup of water before handing them to Spencer. 

“It wasn’t intentional. I just…you wouldn’t get it.” He necked the pills and downed some water. 

“Try me.” George narrowed his eyes on him. 

Spencer heaved a sigh and pulled his hands up the sleeves of his sweater. 

“Unless you’ve been where I am, you wouldn’t understand.” 

George looked around the room momentarily as though he expected someone to be lurking in the shadows. When he looked back at Spencer his eyes were a little sad. 

“I have been where you are.” 

“What?” Spencer frowned.

“I mean not in that exact bed at this exact facility. But I was…I guess I am a drug addict.” He shrugged. 

“I’m confused.” Spencer’s frown deepened.

“I’ve been sober for thirteen years. I was just a kid when I started taking drugs. My boyfriend at the time was older than me and a huge junkie. I started using recreationally to seem cool around his friends. Then it got out of hand. By the time we broke up he left me with a broken heart and a pretty bad cocaine addiction.” 

Spencer’s eyes widened as he consumed George’s words. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t think of anything to say. So George continued. 

“I voluntarily checked myself into a facility. Getting clean was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. But I did do it. I got clean and I went to nursing school and now I dedicate my life to helping those like me.” He offered Spencer a sympathetic smile.

“It isn’t triggering? Working here and being around addicts?” 

“Quite the opposite actually. I find it cathartic.”

“I don’t know that I can do this, George. I don’t think I can get clean. I was sober for over ten years and I was so quick to give it up. I can have a good day but then in an instant it’s like I’m back at square one all over again.” Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. 

“Healing isn’t linear, Spencer.” George sighed a little. “Sometimes you have to take two steps forward and one step back on the road to recovery. Sometimes it’s two steps forward and five back. You’ll have good days, great days even. But you’ll also have the worst days of your life. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that it is worth it in the end. 

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say without a shadow of a doubt that I won’t ever touch drugs again. Nothing in this life is certain. But I can say for a fact that I don’t want to do drugs today. And I probably won’t tomorrow or next week or even next month. The thing with addiction is you just have to take each day as it comes, as you know. But you can’t expect to just get better overnight.” 

“You should be a therapist.” Spencer found himself smiling. 

“I can’t deal with listening to people whine about their problems.” George laughed. 

The sound was infectious enough to make Spencer laugh too, for the first time in a really long time. 

“Fair enough.” Spencer nodded, feeling lighter than he had done since he woke up in this place. 

“I should uh…” George pointed over his shoulder to the door. “You have got to stop monopolising my time, Doctor. Just because you’re cute, doesn’t mean you can have me all to yourself.”

Spencer’s cheeks instantly flushed pink and buried himself further down in his sheet to try and hide his embarrassment. He watched George leave, sending Spencer a wink before he closed and locked the door behind him. 

And goddamn if it weren’t for you constantly on his mind, he might have let himself fall for the dreamy nurse. 

***

He was brought his breakfast by an orderly but he just moved the food around his plate with the plastic fork without eating any. 

When the door opened again he assumed it would be the same orderly collecting his tray and was surprised when Doctor Delaney strolled in the room. 

“How are you feeling?” He didn’t seem amused, he was frustrated if anything. 

“Not great.” Spencer admitted. 

“You terrified nurse Linda.” Delaney folded his arms not trying to hide his annoyance. 

“So I’ve heard.” Spencer rolled his eyes. 

“You’re going to go and take a shower and then it’s time for group therapy.” 

“Pass.” Spencer folded his arms to mirror him. 

“Excuse me?” Delaney raised an eyebrow at him. 

“I said pass. I don’t want to get up. I don’t want to shower and I don’t want to go to group therapy. So I’m not.” 

“You can’t spend all day in your room.”

“I did yesterday.” Spencer shrugged. 

“Because you couldn’t be trusted around other people after your outburst.” 

“Maybe I still can’t be.” Spencer unfolded his arms, picked up the plastic fork and stabbed it hard into a piece of bacon. “Do you want to take that risk?” 

Delaney exhaled loudly through his nose.

“You’re a lot calmer than you were yesterday. I think it would prevalent to all involved that you-“

“Here’s the deal.” Spencer cut him off by shoving his tray of food on the floor, the sound clattering around the small room. “You make me leave this bed today and I will not be held accountable for my actions. I will strangle you with my bare hands just to get hold of a key to the medicine cabinet so I can get high. Does that sound calm to you?” 

Delaney narrowed his eyes before scoffing and shaking his head. 

“You’re only ruining your own life, Spencer. If you don’t want help then that’s fine by me. But if you threaten me or any of my staff again, I will turn you over to the cops.” Delaney spat at him, knowing it wasn’t at all professional and then fled the room before he said something he might regret. 

As he locked the door behind him he heard Spencer screaming at the top of his lungs. Some people were beyond help. Maybe Spencer was one of them. 

***

Spencer’s combination of medications made him inconceivably tired and he found himself sleeping through most of the day. He wasn’t sure if he was happy or not that it had been dreamless. 

A part of him wanted to see your face even if only in his dreams. But now you were starting to fade from his memory it scared him every time he saw you. 

This was the longest he’d been sober in years. He thought if anything his memories would be clearer once his mind was less foggy but it seemed to be having the opposite effect. He couldn’t lose you from his memories. He would break entirely if he lost all his recollections of you. He had to convince someone to call you. He had to see you no matter the cost. 

He snaked his arms up the sleeves of his sweater under the sheet and wrapped them around himself. He rolled his head to the side on the pillow and was startled by a pair of icy blue eyes staring back at him.

“Who’s Y/N?” George smiled at him from where was sitting in the chair at the desk. 

Spencer pulled his arms out from under the sheet and rubbed his eyes. 

“What are you doing here? Where’s your scrubs?” He croaked.

“I got off shift a little while ago, thought I’d come check on you.” George shrugged. 

“You’ve been watching me sleep? You do realise that’s incredibly creepy don’t you?” 

“Who’s Y/N?” He avoided the question. “You were mumbling the name in your sleep.” 

“Something you wouldn’t know if you weren’t watching me sleep.” Spencer scoffed. “She’s my ex-girlfriend.” 

“Ah.” George pulled a face. “I always crush on the straight guys.” 

“Should you be telling me that?” Spencer couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“Probably not but I don’t think you’ll tell anyone.” George smiled at him and it was a very nice smile. 

“And I’m not necessarily…straight. I’m…something.” Spencer shook his head. 

“You’ve slept with men?” George smirked, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“Seems like an inappropriate question coming from my nurse, but…yes. I have been with men and women.” Spencer laughed again. 

“So there’s hope for me yet?” George teased. 

“I mean if this emaciated, drug addict look is your thing…?” Spencer rolled his eyes.

“I told you, my ex was a junkie. Guess I have a type.” George’s eyes sparkled playfully. 

“Is it weird if I say I’m kind of flattered?” Spencer frowned. “I did not expect someone to find me attractive like this.” 

“Well, I do.” George shrugged. “Which is kind of why I’m here.” 

Spencer’s eyes widened and he hugged himself tighter. 

“I uh…I don’t think we should…”

“Not that.” George laughed, standing up from the chair. “You think I’ve come here to get into your pants while you're trying to recover from a drug addiction? Please, I have morals.” 

“Oh.” Spencer frowned again. “What did you mean then?” 

George came to his bedside and smiled softly at him. 

“I came to tell you that because I am attracted to you, I have requested a floor change. I’m not going to be giving out meds on this floor anymore. I think it’s for the best.” 

“Oh.” Spencer pouted. “That’s…that’s a shame.” 

“I can’t fall for another addict.” George took a step back. 

“Fair enough.” Spencer nodded. “Thank you for being honest with me.” 

“You’re welcome.” George shrugged. “I should be getting off. I have two very hungry cats at home and if I’m late there will be hell to pay.” 

“Ok.” Spencer didn’t know what else to say. 

George backed towards the door and he reached it and opened it with one hand behind his back. He kept his eyes on Spencer and smiled wistfully. 

“I hope you beat this Doctor Reid. I really hope you do.” He stepped out into the corridor. 

“Me too.” Spencer admitted out loud. 

He watched George close the door and lock it behind him. 

He really meant it. Spencer really did want to beat this. He fought it so hard because it was easier being a drug addict than actually dealing with his trauma. But he did want to get better. He wanted to get clean and he wanted to be ok again. It wasn’t going to be easy, he knew that. But he had a new found determination that he was going to get better. 

When another orderly brought him his dinner a little while later he asked to see a doctor. He wasn’t even a little surprised it wasn’t Delaney that came to his room. 

He convinced the doctor to help him into his chair and wheel him to the right place. Thankfully he met little opposition from the new doctor who’s name he forgot, and he was taken to his destination. 

Once inside the room with the door closed behind him, Spencer broke out into fits of sobs. He sobbed into his hands, loudly whining and whimpering as he got it out of his system. His whole body wracked with the weight of it all. His small frame shuddered from his sobs that he seemed to have been holding in for a lifetime. 

He cried so much his eyes were sore and his nose was completely blocked. His sleeves were drenched with tears and snot but he didn’t seem to notice, let alone care. He cried for several long minutes before he forced himself to stop. There would be time for tears later. 

He wiped his eyes on his sleeves before looking up. His bottom lip quivered as he looked her in the eye and squeaked, “I want to get better. And I want you to help me.” 

Maggie smiled softly at him, nodding her head. 

“Of course, Spencer. Of course I’ll help you.” 

***

Three days passed and Spencer went about his new routine with surprisingly little resistance. That’s not to say he was thriving, not yet at least. But he hoped he’d get there. 

Group therapy was by far his least favourite activity of the day. He was still reluctant to open up to Cedric and the group and when he did speak he usually kept it unemotional, facts rather than feelings. 

His sessions with Maggie were much more preferable although still difficult. They’d started as she suggested in his childhood and discussed his fathers leaving and his mothers illness at great lengths. They moved on to his life as a child prodigy and to Spencer’s surprise they’d started unpacking a lot from that time. 

Spencer had never really dwelled much on the pressure being so intelligent had put on his shoulders. Even when he joined the BAU, he was mostly just a prize for Gideon to show off, his walking talking know-it-all. He’d never realised how much that had affected his mental well-being, or how much of an intense burden it was to be so smart at such a young age. 

She’d made him see that because of his intelligence he’d been more aware of all the bad in his life. Most ten years old wouldn’t have been so impressed upon by their fathers abandonment. But because Spencer was smarter than the average ten year old he’d been more conscious of what was happening. The same could be said for his mothers illness. 

In their session today they’d started to unpack the stresses and strains of a twenty two year old genius joining the FBI. 

Therapy exhausted Spencer mentally. PT exhausted him physically. But he could now take tentative steps with the aid of crutches, even if it had pained him tremendously to do so. Nick advised using the wheelchair where he could but said as long as he was careful he was happy for Spencer to try using the crutches to get about. 

He still craved drugs and he knew that wasn’t going to change any time soon and his medication was yet to make an impact. But he was trying. It was going to be an uphill battle but he was really trying. 

It was Tuesday which meant it was visitation day. It was a sunny afternoon and his new doctor, who he’d learnt was called Doctor Sanderson, suggested having his visitor meet him in the courtyard. 

Spencer used his crutches to get from his room to the garden area and found his guest at a bench next to some rose bushes. When he saw the back of her head he picked up his speed, almost tripping on the crutches in his excitement. 

“Garcia!” He called her name as he approached and she turned to face him.

The minute she laid eyes on him she started crying instantly. 

“Boy wonder!” She screeched, jumping up and almost tackling him in a hug. “Oh my gosh I missed you so very, very much!” 

“I missed you too.” He couldn’t hug her back as he was gripping his crutches but he nuzzled his face in her neck so she knew he was trying. 

She pulled back and looked him up and down, her face contorting into an expression of sadness. 

“Oh Spencer, look at you.”

“I know.” He nodded. “It’s not ideal.” 

“Come, sit down.” She motioned him to the bench and he hobbled behind her on his crutches before falling to the bench rather unceremoniously.

Garcia plastered her practiced smile back on and reached next to her, producing a Tupperware pot full of cookies. 

“For me?” Spencer’s eyes lit up slightly. 

“As long as you don’t mind sharing.” Garcia popped the lid and let Spencer help himself to one of the chocolate chip discs of heaven.

He took a large bite and hummed around a mouthful.

“Holy crap this is the best thing I’ve eaten in…a long time.” 

“Good huh?” Garcia took a bite of her own. “I made them with Henry and Michael. Michael said to make sure you know he sprinkled it with extra love.” 

Spencer’s eyes immediately glistened with tears. 

“Tell him I can taste it.” He sniffed. 

“Also they drew you pictures. They couldn’t wait until JJ came to see you for you to have them.” She picked up the stack of childrens drawings and handed them to Spencer while he finished the cookie and helped himself to another. 

“These will certainly brighten up my room.” He smiled a little sadly. “Thank them for me.” 

“Oh I most certainly will.” She smiled at him but it faltered. “How are you?” 

“I honestly don’t know. It's hard, being here, being sober. It’s hard to open up when I’ve spent so much of my life shutting down. It’s a struggle every day. But I do want to get better.” Spencer gave her a tight lipped smile. 

“You had me worried sick.” She nibbled on her cookie. “I thought you were going to die.” 

Spencer sighed and chewed on his lip. 

“I wanted to die. I know that’s not what you want to hear but if being in this place is teaching me anything it’s that I need to be honest. And the truth is I wanted to die.” 

Garcia pouted her bright pink lip and put the half eaten cookie back in the container. She turned her body towards Spencer and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. 

“Do you still feel that way?” Her voice cracked a little.

“Honestly, sometimes. I think it’s going to be a while until I don’t feel that way.” 

“Oh Spencer.” She squeezed his shoulder. “I should have done more to help you.” 

“Don’t say that, Penelope. I pushed you away, I haven’t seen any of you in so long you couldn’t have known…” he trailed off when Garcia’s expression changed. “What is it?”

“I saw you…seven, maybe eight months ago.” A tear rolled from her eye under the thick rim of her purple glasses.

“You did?” Spencer frowned. 

“Yes.” She sniffed dramatically. “I was on my way home from work and this new Thai place had opened down the street and I thought boy genius loves Thai food, I wonder if he’d like some. So I brought some food over.”

“And I was high.” Spencer filled in the blanks. 

“You were a mess…”

She tottered up the stairs on her too high heels, balancing take out containers in her arms with a smile on her face. It had been so long since she’d last seen Spencer and she couldn’t wait to see the look on the good doctor's face when she showed up with his favourite cuisine. 

But when she reached the top of the stairs, she immediately dropped every single one of the containers on the floor. 

“Spencer!” She shrieked, running as fast as her heels would carry her to his door. 

Spencer was slumped on the floor, his back to his apartment door, head bowed and eyes closed. There was a puddle of vomit next to him on the floor. 

“Spencer! Oh my god Spencer! Are you breathing? Please tell me you’re breathing!” She fell to her knees, gripping his jaw to pull his head back and pressing her fingers on her other hand to the pulse point on his neck. 

She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt his pulse, albeit a thready one.

“Spencer! Boy wonder! Can you hear me?” Grabbing him by the shoulders she gave him a firm shake. 

His body was limp like a rag doll for a moment and then suddenly he stiffened and his eyes shot open.

“Huh?” He blinked a few times trying to focus. 

“Spence, it’s me, Penelope. Can you hear me?” 

“Y-yes.” He nodded. “What are you doing here? Where are we?” 

“Outside your apartment G-Man. What are you doing here?” She helped him to his feet and he wobbled a little before leaning against the wall for support.

She saw the cogs turning in his head for a moment before he nodded to himself.

“I locked myself out. I lost my keys.” 

Garcia looked around but it didn’t take her long to see his set of keys dangling from the lock in the door.

“Those keys?” She frowned, pointing at them. 

Spencer rubbed his eyes with his palms and blinked again before smiling dumbly. 

“My keys!” He cheered. “What would I do without you Garcia?” 

He pushed himself away from the wall but stumbled and Garcia quickly steadied him. 

“Let’s get you inside.” With one hand she balanced Spencer and unlocked the door with the other. 

“What happened? Spence? Where have you…”

“Y/N?”

“Sorry?” Garcia snapped out of her story and looked at Spencer who was staring off across the courtyard. 

“I thought I saw…” he shook his head and looked back at her. “Sorry, carry on.” 

Garcia narrowed her eyes on him briefly before exhaling and continuing with her story. 

“What happened? Spence? Where have you been?” She aided in getting him inside and couldn’t hold back her gasp at the state of the apartment. 

Spencer didn’t even seem to notice, or he was just used to it, and manoeuvred the obstacles of destruction towards the couch. 

“Hmm? Oh just out.” He shrugged, collapsing on the beat up leather. 

“Are those…bullet holes?” She gasped again at the obliterated end of the couch. 

“Hmm.” Spencer hummed, swinging his legs up and laying down. 

“Spencer, what’s happened here? I’m really worried about…”

“Y/N?” 

Garcia trailed off again to see Spencer once more looking out across the courtyard. 

“I…I’m sure that’s…” he frowned, grabbing his crutches and pushing himself up with them. “I’ll be right back.”

“Spencer, where are you-“

“I’ll be two minutes.” He called over his shoulder but he was already hobbling away on his crutches. 

It was frustrating not to be able to move faster as he tried to hurry after the familiar back of a head he’d seen wandering the institute's grounds. He followed the path he saw you take behind the building into a more secluded part of the gardens. 

He found you sitting in the grass with your back to him, legs crossed and your head buried in a book. His heart raced partly from the exertion of getting here but mostly from excitement. You were here. You were right in front of him. You’d found him. 

“Y/N?” He called your name as he approached and you spun round to face him, wide eyed.

For the first time in a long time your features weren’t blurred. You looked exactly as he remembered you, maybe a little skinnier and with the addition of dark circles under your eyes. 

“Y/N!” He choked, feeling his tears gathering. “Oh my gosh, you came! Y/N I can’t believe you’re here!”

You jumped up from the grass and clutched your book tightly to your chest. You kept your eyes firmly on him, your back was up instantly. 

“Y/N, say something.” Spencer smiled shakily at you and when he got too close you took a few steps back. 

“This is my reading spot. My private reading spot.” You spoke quietly. 

“Maybe it can be our reading spot?”

“No. No.” You shook your heading, taking another step backwards. “I like to be alone.” 

“Y/N, what’s going on?” 

You clutched your book tighter against your chest as though it was a shield. You took another step backwards and swallowed hard. 

“Look, I just want to be left alone ok?” Your eyes held a hint of fear to them. 

Spencer’s eyebrows knitted heavily as he profiled your expression as you looked at him. He didn’t see a hint of recognition. It was like you had no idea who he was. 

“I…we…” he stumbled on his words. 

“Look I was on a lot of drugs ok? So if we slept together or something I’m sorry but I don’t remember a lot of stuff.” Your eyes shifted about, not able to look at one thing for too long. 

“Drugs? You weren’t on drugs.” Spencer shook his head. 

“Why do you think I’m here?” You shrugged. 

“You’re not…I thought you were here to…see me?”

“Why would I be here to see you?”

“Because we...” He trailed off, his head spinning. Was he asleep? Was this just another of his vivid dreams? 

“Please leave me alone” you whispered, hugging your book even tighter. 

What the fuck was going on? 

“Y/N, I…”

“Spencer?” Garcia’s voice came from behind him and he looked over his shoulder to see her toddling his way, heels sinking into the grass. “Spencer, what are you doing?” 

“I…I was just…” he turned back to face you only to find you gone, vanished as if into thin air. 

What the fuck is happening to me? 

“You need to sit down, come on.” Garcia waved him over. 

He looked between her and the now empty space. Was he completely losing it? 

“Spencer, come on.” 

He sighed heavily and turned himself around and hobbled towards Garcia. He kept his thoughts at bay until they were seated back on the bench. 

“Garcia, I need to talk to you about Y/N.” 

Much like Emily, Luke and Rossi, her facial expression changed to one Spencer just couldn’t read. 

“Uh…” she fiddled with her hands in her lap and wouldn’t make eye contact with him. “Emily said we aren’t supposed to talk to you about that.” 

“What? Why?” Spencer frowned. 

“I just can't, ok? I promised Em.” 

“Penelope, tell me what’s going on.” Spencer spoke sternly and Garcia still didn’t look at him as she pushed herself up from the bench. 

“I should go. Take such good care of yourself boy wonder.”

“Garcia!” He pulled himself up too. “Tell me what’s going on! Please!”

“I can’t.” She turned back to him and he saw the tears in her eyes. “Just trust me ok? Please, just trust me.”

“I need someone to explain to me why nobody will talk about her. What am I missing here, Penelope?”

He looked so sad and confused and it broke Garcia’s heart. 

“Sometimes the truth doesn’t set us free.” She sniffed and suddenly she was hurrying away as fast as her heels would carry her. 

Spencer watched her go, in complete uncertainty. Something was going on. Something bigger than he could comprehend. He was missing something and he was sure it was something big. 

The team was keeping something from him. Something pertaining to you and he had no idea what. 

But he had to find out. 

Next Chapter

Taglist

@andiebeaword @measure-in-pain @takeyourleap-of-faith @dirtytissuebox @smurphyse @ssa-uglywhore27 @reidselle @reidsbookclub @tiredmilky @thatsonezesty13 @1mechanicalalligator @elle-28

[ily-fictional-women]

Help

Summary: A surprise visit turns out to be perfect timing. 

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Gn!Reader

Warnings: TW for self-harm!! While this is a hurt comfort fic please understand this could be triggering to you or others, be mindful. 

Word count: 1154

a/n: As I mentioned earlier I’m not posting about my other ongoing fic right now because I want to take a break from it so I don’t rush things like I did the last chapter. Anyways, if you’re currently struggling with mental health talk to a professional or someone you trust. I hope you enjoy the fic, sending much love! Also editor creds to my bsf who doesn’t want me @’ing them yet. (Reblogs are welcome and critiques/advice are heavily encouraged, but please no translating.) 

No one talks about what happens behind the scenes as an Avenger. While they all smile and pose for cameras all the time, no one is truly happy 24/7. Everyone is hurting in some way no matter how well they hide it. And the pain was becoming too much for Y/n. They were drowning in their thoughts, and with Carol being gone for a few months on an off-world mission it only got worse. The days became longer and the nights felt colder with no one there. Y/n had no one, no one. Or that is what the small voices Y/n felt in their head. The voices got louder and louder. 

Because of that eventually, they did. Y/n was alone and Carol isn’t supposed to come home for about a month or two. This could give them enough time to blame it on something else. Closing the bathroom door to their apartment Y/n took the cold metal to their wrist. As the blood started to spill they felt some satisfaction. It felt like the internal pain that had been building up was finally released. Some people believe harming yourself is solely for attention, but it isn’t. It’s about feeling a type of pain you can describe to others and understanding yourself when you can’t do the same with the pain you feel inside. 

As Y/n drew more lines they felt a release. A release of emotion they couldn’t share with anyone. But then they heard a loud heavy thump. It was Carol– she came home early. Carol typically lands on Y/n’s apartment balcony, and while they usually saw it as romantic and cute, now was the worst time. 

Carol slides the glass door to the balcony entrance walking into the living room before closing the door. “Babe?” she hollered out. Carol searched the living room and kitchen searching for Y/n. Then she searched the bedroom expecting to find her partner asleep. But all she saw was an empty bedroom with the bathroom door closed. Carol laughed “Sweetheart, you’re not hiding from me right.” 

Shit. The wave of guilt already started to wash over Y/n. Not trying to alarm Carol they did their best to sound okay “N- no, no I’m not hiding Carol.” The small stutter and the weak laugh that followed the reply weren’t convincing enough for Carol though. “Y/n, you’re scaring me. Are you okay in there?” More panic started to fill Y/n as they didn’t have time to clean the wounds. “I’m okay Carol, p- promise.”  

With Y/n’s voice sounding teary Carol tried to open the door “Y/n? Why is the door locked? You never lock this door.” The insistent questions set in even more panic for Y/n “Carol, it’s nothing.” Y/n starts tearing up and their voice cracks. “Please just leave me alone for a second.” Mid-sentence they had started to cry making Carol break the doorknob and open the door. Immediately Y/n held their arms behind their back holding the blade in one hand. 

“Y/n, honey. What’s behind your back? And why are you crying? Did something happen?” 

“Carol, I told you it’s nothing!” 

While Carol was focusing on Y/n’s face she did look down for a second, noticing the small droplets of blood dripping on the tile. “Oh my god, Y/n your bleeding!” Carol took one of Y/n’s wrists seeing the cuts. This made Y/n slowly collapse onto the floor leaning against the cold porcelain bathtub behind them. What started as small tears slowly turned to sobs as Carol knelt next to Y/n. 

“Baby, baby. It’s okay.” 

Y/n cried out “It’s not okay Carol! I’m scaring you and you’re probably mad at me fo-” Carol cut them off sternly “Don’t say that. Look at me okay.” She took Y/n’s chin gently motioning their head to look at her “I will never be mad at you for something like this.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay, good. Now Y/n I need you to give me the knife and tell me where your first aid kit is.” 

Y/n wiped away some of their tears while handing Carol the blade “The first aid kit is under the sink to your left.” As Carol started taking out the first aid kit and the alcohol next to it, Y/n started to profusely apologize “I’m sorry, I’m sorry Carol.” But Carol shushed them “It’s okay Y/n. There’s nothing to be sorry for I just need to get you cleaned up right now okay? You didn’t cut that deep, you’re okay Y/n.” Y/n nodded, the burn of the alcohol seeping into their cuts as Carol clean off the blood surrounding them and made them whimper. 

“I know, I know baby. We’re almost done. I just need to put some cotton on them then wrap your arm up.” 

After a few more minutes Y/n was finally patched up. “Can I ask you something Y/n?” They nodded. “Is there any more?” 

“Any more what Carol?” 

“Anymore blades or knifes Y/n. Was that your only one?” 

Y/n looked down at their arm, not able to look Carol in the eye “No, it’s the only one I use.” 

“Okay, I just want you to be safe.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Of course, but I think we need to talk more about this Y/n.” Carol stood up also helping them get up as they both went into the bedroom sitting on the bed. “You want me to hold you while we talk?” Y/n cracked the smallest smile that faded as fast as it appeared before nodding. Nestling themself into Carol's side so Carol could rub their back, Y/n felt at peace. 

“So, Y/n. What’s wrong? Just talk to me.”    

“The depression was getting worse. I guess it just felt like I had no one. I was hurting enough to the point I needed a different kind of a pain to focus on.” 

“I know, and I get that. But Y/n, that relief is only temporary. It only makes things better for a moment.” 

“That’s the point though Carol” they started to tear up again “I just needed a moment of relief. I needed something to make me feel better for a moment.” 

Carol wipes away the tears that started to fall from Y/n’s eyes “Okay, just please, if you ever feel that urge again. Please, talk to me, or anyone else. Or do something that feeds that urge but doesn’t hurt yourself as much.” 

“I promise.” 

“Okay.” There was a moment of silence between the two as they each held onto the other. While to Y/n it did at times feel like they had no one, Carol was here. One day at a time, talking every day one day at a time is what it takes.

[ladyelissarose]

omg can u do a batman x reader for me plz!

where battie falls in love wit the reader plz!!!

Hi love!💕 I hope this one is good, it’s like a whole made up fic, apart from my sequel, but please let me know if you’d like another one, or a different one! This was actually fun to put together... enjoy love❤️❤️❤️

Long lost Christmas wish.

 Batman x reader

 Summary- Batman spends his Christmas Eve out on the streets, he thought he would return home as usual, empty and hurt, but tonight.. someone unexpected changed that.

  Batman walked away from his last ganged up beating, his back was sore and  his legs felt like they were about to explode. He thought tonight would be more calm, it was the night before Christmas, but he was terribly wrong.

  Tonight he actually had more attempted robberies and more gangs would sneak up on him and sprang at him in the darkest corners. But of course, he took down every one of them swiftly, those guys always underestimated him. But he’d still leave with a new bruise forming somewhere. Batman slowly walked towards his Batmobile as snow began to fall, the clock had stuck 3am, so he decided that it was enough for tonight. That was until he heard a distant cry, 

   “HEY! N-NO HELP!! STOP!!!”

  It was a woman crying in pain and fear, sending Batman running towards the screaming that led into an empty alley. As he ran in he saw a woman being held by the hair crying in pain as her offender forced her onto her knees and the other guy tugged her purse out of her hands, but he didn’t have a chance to flee when Batman was already on top of him beating the crap out of him. They other guy pulled out a gun and shot at Batman, but it only made a dent in the suit, causing Batman to only stride towards him and pulling him away from the woman, giving him two good knock-out punches and sending him on the ground next to the other man.

  Batman took at deep breath and turned to the woman that tried to grab her bag, but she was too stunned to move. So Batman reached down and grabbed it, and handed it to her,

  “Here.”

  The woman slowly reached out her hand and grabbed the bag bringing it to her chest, a few stray tears fell down her now bright red cheeks from the cold winter air that brushed against it. Her lips stuck out in a pout as she tried to contain her sobs,  her hair stuck to her forehead and cheeks, and her hands trembled violently. Though she was a crying mess Batman could of sworn she looked so beautiful and familiar. Batman felt more soft for the woman all of a sudden, when he realized why these men targeted her, down the alley near by laid presents, or what were once wrapped up presents. They were now torn and broken all over the place, Batman got down in his knee in front of her and held his hand out,

  “Let me help you inside.. why are you out anyways.. it’s 3 in the morning.”

  She coughed to clear her throat as she replied,

  “I-I had just gotten out of work and was bringing down the presents from my car, when those two bastards came out at me.”

  She wiped her tears and made move to stand up, but winced in pain at her attempt, making Batman reach out and help her up and lean her weight against him. Once the y stood up she thanked him,

  “Thank you for saving me.. who knows what wouldn’t happened if you hadn’t shown up.”

  “don’t worry about it, let’s just get you out of the cold-“

  “But I need to pick up the presents-“

  “There’s nothing left of it.. I’m sorry.”

  She hung her head low and guided Batman towards her door. Once they stood outside she said,

  “This is it.. thank you again.”

  “hm hm.. just don’t come out alone again, or try not too.”

  She huffed our a laugh as she replied,

  “It’s kinda hard when you’re alone 100% of the time, but I’ll keep your advice in mind anyways.. oh, and by the way.. Merry Christmas Batman.”

  Batman’s heart leaped in his chest for a split second, he hadn’t even thought of the celebration personally sense the day his parents died. But hearing it come out of this angels beat up soul made his heart swoon in a way he had never felt before. If he wasn’t wearing the mask she probably would’ve seen his cheeks burning, but not from the cold, it was from how her sweet, simple words affected him. He stood over her and he processed her words over his mind against and again, dying to hear it one more time. But that’s when she made her bravest move, she stood on her tiptoes and placed a cold but gentle kiss to his cheek, then explained,

  “I-I would give anything in the world to you if I had it, t-to show you my appreciation for what you did tonight and every night for a city that doesn’t deserve you. But that’s all I can give..”

  Batman drank her words up and began to feel something more in his heart for this sweet woman, he felt it was getting bigger or even warmer? She saw how Batman didn’t make a move and immediately got embarrassed, she started to open her door and walk inside, but Batman caught her wrist as he said in his low voice,

   “m-merry.. Merry Christmas..”

  Batman then let her go and apologized,

  “I’m sorry.. it’s just been a while.. sense someone.. well sense someone said something like that.. to- to me.”

  Her faced dropped all embarrassment and went to an awed but compassionate expression,

  “oh.. well.. it’s been a while for me too.. I had gotten those presents to donate to the Wayne’s Orphanage tomorrow, but I’ll have to bake cookies or something as a replacement-“

   Batman’s heart just about exploded with what he could only conclude as love,

  “You- .. were going to donate those gifts to the orphanage?”

  “yeah.. but it’s ok.. life happens you know.”

  Batman then whispered,

“But it shouldn’t.. at least not to good people like you.”

  “And you.”

Y/n added. Batman locked his eyes with hers and saw nothing but pure adoration pouring out of her loving gaze. She sent him a warm smile and said,

 “I hope this isn’t the last time I see you Batman.. I volunteer at the Wayne Orphanage when I can on the weekends, which is where I’ll be tomorrow. But I hope that we don’t meet under these circumstances again.”

  Of course! Batman has seen her a few times at the orphanage as she ran around after the little kids that were the wildest, but she was the only one that knew how to make them calmer and still be happy. He had seen her there and tried to get to her, but the kids always drove her away before he could have a chance to approach, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to see her again, she was so different and held a golden heart like no other, her smile brightened up the room and the children loved her. Batman.. had fallen for her. He stifled a laugh and said,

  “I hope not either.. take care.. maybe see you around soon?”

 “Under better circumstances, of course.”

  She beamed, and he returned the smile. Y/n then bid goodbye,

  “Have a great night Bats.. and a very Merry Christmas.”

  “You too, Y/n.”

  She looked at him confused and asked,

  “You know my name?”

  He immediately remembered he was in the suit, and not Bruce at the moment, but he played it off,

  “Lucky guess?”

  She giggled and replied,

  “Very.. now get home before the blizzard catches you.”

  “Of course.”

  Batman looked down at the ground and grew sad immediately, he didn’t want to leave her, he had finally gotten his chance to speak with her, but as Batman, not as Bruce. He stood there at the foot of her door and sighed sadly, now turning and leaving, Y/n noticed the change in his attitude and called after him,

  “are you ok? Batman?”

  He halted his next step and his heart began to beat wildly in his chest as he thought of something to do, and he found just what. He turned around and ran up to her, she was about to ask again but he grabbed her pink cold cheeks and gave her a warm kiss. She held her eyes open in shock for a moment, but soon closed her eyes and embraced his shoulders deepening the kiss. He kissed her passionately and didn’t want it to end, but soon he had to pull away to catch air, he stared into her eyes as she held a blushing smile. She had just kissed the Batman, someone she had watched out for and hoped for a simple interaction with, especially when she had lost hope in catching Bruce’s eye at the orphanage. She figured a rich boy wouldn’t want to meddle with a simple lonely girl, But felt that a masked vigilante would. Batman have her one more chaste kiss and let her go now walking away from the door, and said in a loving tone,

  “Merry Christmas angel,”

  Y/n sighed happily replying,

  “Merry Christmas Batman.”

  She watched him get in his Batmobile and closed the door as he drove away, she sighed to herself and felt happy. Maybe to others kissing a stranger, or a masked vigilante was weird, but to her, it was the best Christmas present ever.

  Batman on the other hand, as he drove away, he felt something in his neck, so when he reached to pull out what he felt, it was a small ornament, shaped like an angel. He smiled at it warmly and hung it on the rear view mirror, giving him something to hope for every night he went out. He felt happy and complete, and now more confident about reaching out to her as Bruce Wayne, he felt and believed that he could trust her. She proved trustworthy in so many ways at the orphanage, and no matter what she never changed, she was always so patient and kind, respectful, caring.. just like an angel.. she was perfect in his eyes. He could honestly say, he got his long lost Christmas wish.. feeling love again and having an angel watch over him every night.

  It was honestly the first best Christmas ever.. and he was ready to spend it with her.. hopefully forever.

[kazumiwrites-fanfiction]

“It Must Have Been Love”

SUMMARY: You loved Touya, sure. But fading love as well as some other stuff led to your eventual heartbreak. WORD COUNT: 900+

WARNINGS: Implied cheating, crying, more crying, basically you cry a lot (please drink some water [Y/N]) (my computer fell onto my face as I was writing this like it wanted you to not listen to my advice- rude), love dying away, Touya kinda harassing you in an alleyway (but like I don't think it's too bad), uh best friend Yuuma being amazing.

A/N: I'm scared that I won't be able to write a good angsty fic for Touya so uh yes- Let's see if I succeed (as I write this I have like... 1/4 of it done(ish)) Also this is for a collab with @okkatsudon​ for their Somebody New Collab. Also heavily inspired by ‘It Must Have Been Love’ by Roxette (link here (also yes 80s songs <33)) A/N PART 2: I was on a vibe while writing and then I wrote four words starting with h in a row- like- damn- lmao- A/N PART 3: Originally posted here.

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

You sighed softly as you looked over the photo album that held all the photos of the past year. Tears brimmed in your eyes as you scanned over the happy images. The ones with you and Touya.

You knew exactly why you two broke up. Your love slowly died away. Touya was away just too often. You knew why, he had to try to defeat his father. But still... You just wanted him to give you attention. Maybe that was clingy of you. But hey, everyone wants their love. You were no different.

But then one day, you came home to a... Scene. Him and some other person. You didn't get a good look at either of them, just slamming the door as a soft sob escaped your lips.

That was the last straw; you stormed out of your shared apartment, driving to your friend, Yuuma's house. Thankfully, he let you in, holding you and letting you know that you could stay for as long as you needed. A relief. At least he wouldn't leave you. He rubbed your back gently, comforting you.

You had spent the night there, before going back to your shared apartment the next day. You walked through the rooms, grabbing all of your things. You sighed softly, dropping down and sitting on the bed as you closed your eyes. Your body was trembling, soft sobs escaping you. You didn't even hear the door opening, soft footfalls walking over to you.

Touya himself wasn't sure what to do as he stared at your figure, curled up in yourself. He wanted to reach out to you, wrap his arms around you and hold you close, but... He couldn't. Why? It had been so, so easy before. As easy as breathing. But what now? Where was the love for you that he had held close in his heart? Gone? He wasn't sure. After a moment, he just rested a hand on your shoulder.

You just flinched away when you felt his touch, moving your hand to hit him somewhat hard. Ouch. "...Don't touch me." Your voice was harsher than he had ever heard it. "You- I just- no. I'm leaving. And I'm breaking up with you." You got up, sighing shakily. You looked almost... Broken.

The male stepped closer to you, mouth opening to speak, but you just fixed him with a glare. "No. I'm leaving. And don't try to do anything." You let out a soft huff, glancing away before he could see the hurt in your eyes. "Go. Have fun with that- that person you were with yesterday."

His eyes widened slightly. "[Y/N], I-"

"Shut up. I don't have anything I want to hear from you, Dabi. Now be quiet, and let me get out."

The use of his villain name was what had hit him hardest. He wasn't Touya anymore to you. Just Dabi.

You shook your head with a soft sigh, holding two suitcases and a couple more bags as you lugged them outside, into your car. You got them all in before driving away, texting your friend that you were all right.

The turquoise-eyed male just froze, shaking a bit as he ran his hand through his hair. He hadn't thought that you would actually leave... But now that you had, he felt almost... Lighter.

You, however, were not. You had been a wreck for so long. Seeing the news that a certain cremation quirk user had gone into the League of Villains soon after the break up. Yuuma was there for you the whole time, which you were grateful for. Without him... You would've broken into a million pieces, probably.

You let out a soft sigh as you got up, shaking your head to get rid of the reminiscing. Yeah, you missed him... Wanted to be with him even more. The hollow in your heart could never be healed. Not really.

He seemed fine, though. Dabi seemed to almost be having fun, from what you had seen on the news. So what? It wasn't like you were hurting. Hating that this villain work made him happier than you ever could have.

And seeing him on a date with some other person on the news? That didn't make you jealous either. The twist in your heart was just because you ate something bad, and the tears in your eyes were just from pollen getting in them in the middle of winter.

You tried so hard to convince yourself that you were okay. So what was this? You stared up at Dabi, back pressed against the wall of the building in a narrow alley. The one time you had to go there, he was there.

"Fancy seeing you here, [L/N]." His voice was carefully calm, staring at you. Eyes devoid of emotion.

"Yeah, you too, Dabi. Just let me go, all right? Give me a break." Your voice was sharp, blinking back tears.

"What happened to us, [Y/N]?" Dabi's voice was soft, almost... Gentle. You didn't miss how he used your given name, either.

"Well, it must've been love. But it's over now." You let out a soft sigh.

"Really." His eyes narrowed slightly.

"Yes, really. Now let me go." You grabbed his wrist tightly, pushing him away before turning around and walking away, closing your eyes and ignoring his gaze on your back. Ignoring how it made you feel. Because it really was over now. Whatever he made you feel. You could've been a perfect couple... But not anymore. It would never happen.

A/N PART 4: Kinda wanna write a Part 2 just to make this less angsty... But oh well. Because like I feel like Touya would've been sad as well (over time) so uh- yes. (But then again Yuuma was a very good "friend" (he likes [Y/N]) and the whole time I was writing this I was like "Dude go make a move??" but he was like "no <3" so uh- yes. My OC, he's a playboy, and he's like this. At least he's a good(?) friend?? What do y'all think-) A/N PART 5: Please don't go into alleyways because every time I write/roleplay something happening into alleyways, something bad happens- so yes. Please don't- A/N PART 6: Also what're the newscasters doing- they should be calling the police instead of taking pictures of the villain and his "hot date" </3 I'm crying over here please-

[charliechaotic]

hii this is smth for me but i hope anyone would like- I have zero clue how to write batfam or gotham stuff, so please dear gods give me advice if possible <3 (my only reference is tumblr writing prompts, reaction videos, and the Dark Matter fic lmao- this is uh. basically the concept is my oc ending up in Gotham- So far thats all this is gonna be, but I hope you enjoy <:):

When Wren awakes, it is in pain. Agony agony agony agoNY AGONY AGONY-

It feels like he's drowning. Burning? Both? His memory feels so fuzzy. Where is he? ..What happened?

Everything goes dark again.

When Wren awakes again, he finds himself laying on a rooftop, staring up at the night sky- cast over with a deep pollution unfamiliar to him. It was a rare night in Relsia to not be able to see the stars.

He is quick to sit up, coughing up nothing but his own breath, tears welling in his eyes as he takes back in the memory of the feeling.

That color. So vivid in his mind, surrounding him- it matched that of his eyes, should he not have had the flakes of gold in them. It unsettles him to think about.

His body aches as he pushes himself up, hugging his well worn hoodie close- when had it gotten so torn up? It looked like he'd been in some big fight while wearing it, but he cant quite pull the memory up. He tries to keep himself steady, shortening his staff to use as a support. He has to work out where he is, despite the pain gnawing at him. Had he used his power too much? It felt like he'd been torn apart and pit together a million times.

He brushes his hair back with his hands, fixing his glasses on his face. "Id almost kill to see Merc right now."

He finds himself speaking aloud, discomforted by the silence around him. Maybe he could get himself to the Northeast end of the city and stop by. He had promised to stop by sometime soon. He made no promises he wouldn't be in incredible pain. If he could make it that far across the city, anyway. He manages to get himself to about two rooftops away from his starting point before the aching starts to bring him down. He needs to rest, unfortunately. Maybe he can find somewhere alright in the streets below- he can't seem to recognize the area. It looks worse than the worst part of Relsia he's seen in his life. He studies the streets below, trying to work out a normal way to climb down and get a look around- maybe he could sneak a ride on a bus or something. He's willing to risk getting attacked on one today. He sways ever slightly as he thinks, before a voice startles him out of it.

"Hey, buddy. Could you step away from the edge for me?"

He flinches at the sound, immediately turning his gaze to the voice, glaring with distrust at the source- making eye contact with a man around his height, but with a lot more muscle. He appears to be wearing a costume- some kind of 'super suit' probably. His outfit is mostly black, he exception being the streaks of blue- one being centered on his chest. If he were able to think any clearer, he'd say it looked like the way you add birds in the background of paintings in fourth grade. He'd find it a little amusing if he couldn't hear his heart pounding in his chest, still glaring.

The man raises his arms a bit, giving a reassuring smile.

"Hey, its okay. My name is Nightwing. Are you alright?"

Wren feels the mans gaze flick between his hair and eyes, taking a slight step back- further towards the ledge.

"Your name means nothing. I dont know who you are."

His voice comes out in a sharper tone than he intends, his words distorted in a way that almost sounds like a glitchy phone call, on top of the buzz of a voice modulator. He seems a bit surprised by his own voice, a hand reaching up to his throat out of confusion.

uhhhh thats the end lmao- i genuinely Just wrote this so uhm. hope someone sees it? and enjoys? <:) you can probably see some obvious inspiration from Dark Matter, which I completely accept drbrh- I really liked the concept! though how Wren got in the pit water is VERY different heheh

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Oncoming

Summary: After they fought Nina went back home. In a wedding she gets philosophical about life and marriage specifically. Maul senses her thoughts. We can read a part where Nina interacts with a local asshole.(side note: this interaction happened to me before I met my husband, this guy kept being annoying but in the sunny side it also inspired me to write this scene into my story, so I guess that is a win for me)

Pairing: Darth Maul x OC Nina Cerasus

Warnings: Mention of wounds, medication, anxiety, panic attack, mutual pining, miscommunication, idiots in love, angst (Let me know if I left out something.) Minors DNI! Every sentence in italics is an inner monologue.

AN: This fic means a lot to me and I worked on it a lot. If you have any advice or comments, please share them with me kindly. I'm posting for the first time in years and I don't want nasty comments to discourage me from posting again. Remember it’s a slow burn! If you don't like it, please go to another blog. I did my best to translate it, so pls forgive me, English is not my first language.

Please enjoy reading!

previous chapter

divider by the lovely Saradika

Nina, upset , left the garden, the stars and Him behind. She tried very hard to keep herself together, she didn't want to fall apart, into tiny pathetic particles. The past forty-eight hours had been long, eventful, and not at all to her liking. She was tired and felt defeated, even though she tried to bend flexibly despite the harsh treatment, but now everything was strained inside her and she snapped. The final blow was delivered by Maul's words, directly to the heart, hard and without hesitation. "So you really are insignificant."

Those words hurt more than the wounds from the attack. They had a devastating effect on her. She left with her back stretched out and the pride of having the last word. But the blood in her veins turned icy cold, so much that, at first, she didn't even notice that her teeth were chattering, her body trembled and the shame caused by anxiety washed over her in waves. The house was still empty, her grandmother must be finishing work at the hospital, and Polina will arrive with dinner soon. Stepping into the bathroom, Nina looked in the mirror and noticed that tears were running down her face unstoppable and silently and without her permission.

"Come on Nina pull yourself together girl!" she scolded herself while furiously wiping her face with her palm.

She suddenly felt a stabbing pain in her palm, it wasn't strong, but it burnt like a cut caused by a paper. She stared at her palm. Four barely visible crescent-shaped wounds bled faintly. 

For kriff's sake!

She felt another storm forming in her soul, a panic rising up. She turned the cold water in the shower. quickly dropped her clothes on the floor and stood under the cold dripping water. 

“Suppress it!” she ordered herself.

She didn’t wanted to give the satisfaction to cry because of him. She crouched down. 

She doesn't care that her hair will be wet and her makeup melt down, or that her teeth will chatter from the water.

The coldness helped her break out of the spiral that drove her towards panic. It helped to sharpen the picture and separate the real emotions and facts from the imaginary ones. The water washed away all weakness from her and she let it flow down her body and disappear into the drain. She felt clean again when she opened her eyes. While drying herself up with a towel, she thought about the facts she knew. 

She survived the attack, she obtained the information, which she just has to decipher and finally have something against her father. She survived the encounters with Maul. She guessed that the male was not going to kill her, something was holding him back. That made this devilish tango seem exciting between them. But now she's tired. All she wants is a soft nightgown and spicy noodles.  

She looked in the mirror again. She seemed calm, a bit pale but put together. She seemed strong even though she had bruises all over her body and soul. Still she wears them gracefully as a silk robe. She will not bend, not break, and will succeed. She smiled at her reflection and left the bathroom.

Days later...

If she had an idea about her weekend, Nina didn't have this in mind. She didn't really know how and in what way, but it turned out that on her weekend day for rest, she sat dressed up at a wedding ceremony in one of Theed's smallest chapels. One of her high school mates invited her to their wedding.

In a room covered in yellow bouquets (maybe a little too many), her shoes are pressing on her feet uncomfortably (still worth it!), and the only thing she can think of to get through this day is cake. Which, of course, she'd have to wait for the young couple to cut up. Not that she had a problem with the couple (Kiya and Frwen), but Nina was not really impressed by weddings. At least that's what she liked to make people believe, and maybe she tried to make herself believe that too.

As a little girl, she did not plan the color of the dress, the format of the invitation or the venue. Yet she could appreciate the effort others did for their own.

100% of the guests (yes, Nina too) thought the bride was amazingly beautiful in her ecru colored  beaded dress. And everyone was also sure that tears of joy shone in the groom's eyes during the vows. The priest leading the ceremony gave a speech that was too long for a ceremony that was held in a small chapel filled with guests and it was very hot that day despite the end of spring. Still everything seemed perfect. Because everything was perfect. 

The couple's close friends and relatives cracked five jokes and seven heartwarming stories about the couple. And the word love was uttered at least thirty-two times. (note that this number will increase to forty-three later in the evening. Nina actually counted it.) Extra points if the word love is preceded by the characteristics ‘eternal’ or ‘true’.

Then there was a photo montage, which according to Polina was too cringe, but Nina secretly liked a nice reminiscence. It was charming in a nostalgic way. And perfectly suited Kiya and Frwen, who were perfect for each other. 

Nina and Polina both were happy for them, though. Polina even had pressed a silk handkerchief to her face to wipe away a few tears of touched emotions. 

But Nina didn't really believe in the institution of love or marriage. At least not in the "our love will carry us through everything" interpretation. In Nina's opinion, marriage could easily be concluded if the partners knew how to operate in completely separate spheres in the same area. They can live in their own little orbit but also they live in a kind of common section, just like the stars in the milky ways and galaxies. 

But again, the only references she had were those of her own parents. A tragic one where when her mother, Holly, fell ill and her father, Félix, had already left to find another much more suitable for ‘perfect’ family. The other one was quite sad too. A marriage from Polina's stories about her parent’s back in Serrenno. 

Her parents had been married for almost a decade, and after spending many years back and forth with the devil's tango, they officially lived separately - on other planets. This is a pretty lousy statistic, but the point is that none of them were specifically "happily ever after" ones.

If Nina were to make a Venn diagram about Kiya and Frwen she would put their jobs and studies and friends in separate piles and love would be the center. Nina thought that they could be the exception. Kiya and Frwen would make the “happily ever after”. They were made for each other. 

But then again, what's the point of making it official? What is the point of a piece of paper, which is only good for you to take out a joint loan or to call the child ‘legitimate’ and to make the separation more difficult by enlarging and blurring the boundaries of these center sections?

Oh so Kiya takes her husband's last name. Nina toyed with the idea. Her mother also took her father's name until he claimed it back in the divorce.

Maybe one day she will find someone who is not too boring and decide to stay, eventually she would marry that person, then like Kiya she would take her husband's name and thus completely vanish into his family line. Just like Maul’s ship’s cloaking device. She would be a blank space and have a new start. That sounded both terrifying and exciting at the same time. She could reinvent herself.��

She would be Mrs.We-don't-know-the-name-yet, and no one would ever know a thing about her.The fire in her soul would be calmed down to a handful of embers. She would become an accessory, and her illness would be some sort of exotic characteristic, like her diastema.

Thinking it through this fact rather terrified her, she didn't want to belong to anyone, just to belong to herself, like her grandmother.

She continued fiddling with her bracelet and biting her lip from the light panic that started to crawl out from her subconscious to these thoughts. Suddenly she felt a warm hand caress her cold one. Polina kindly took her hand, sensing her anxiety. The pink haired vampire didn't look at her, but smiled and drew letters in Nina's palm with her index finger. Nina began to concentrate on them already feeling calmer:

R

U

OK

?

Nina softly hummed "yes" as an answer. Polina's attention was focused on the couple again, but she didn't let go of Nina.

Meanwhile, 22% of guests were moved to tears. Two restless children were told to behave properly. Five of the guests wore a hat. They exchanged two rings and the green-eyed girl from the fourth row couldn't stop thinking about the crimson-colored zabrak man while she fidgeted with her bracelet. 

The ceremony ended and they were outside under the colorful sky of sunset, in the chapel's gardens. They served food under a big cream colored tent decorated with the same flowers as in the chapel. The guests were already mingling, dancing, or just snacking and talking at the reception. Everyone had a sparkling flute of crystal glass full of bubbly drink in their hands. Polina was dancing with the best men of the groom. He was quite handsome and had an interesting scar on the left side of his lips. 

Nina was asked to dance by a man named Larkin, the second best man.

He was average height, with an average face and body. Nina felt bad for judging him, so when they started to sway to the light melody she gave him a chance. 

At the edge of the dance floor, he carefully wrapped his arms around her waist, while Nina put hers on his shoulders. They started getting to know each other by small talk. But after the usual rounds, Larkin started talking about the new ship. In five minutes, Nina would have been able to take an exam about  that model of ship. Larkin was cute and enthusiastic, but it seems the vehicle alone turned him on. He told her everything about it, the color, the leather of the seats, the cylinder heads, the gearbox and the insurance conditions. Nina hummed quietly sometimes and stared into the distance. She imagined the hands on his waist to be Maul's hands, Maul's scent instead of the sweet patchouli and a crown of horns instead of Larkin's thick blonde hair.

When the couple shared their first kiss as a husband and wife, everyone started clapping and the room felt a little lighter and happier.

But to Nina it felt rather suffocating. She wanted to see him. Maul.

She liked his name. It suited him in a raw, mature and erotic energy kinda way. And she loved how his name rolled off her tongue as the syllables tumbled. She would prefer to say it out loud several times over and over like a magic spell.

Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.Maul.

She doesn’t know much about him, but wanted to. She wanted to know his thoughts, his past and origin, and she definitely wanted him to kiss his tattooed lips. He was a mystery, something that Nina craved and wanted to figure out. 

“Would you mind please and bring me some punch?” she asked Larkin. 

“Yes. I’ll be back in a moment.” 

She stood near the table where the cakes and cookies were served. 

“Don’t hurry.” she said through gritted teeth, as she rolled her eyes in annoyance.

It wasn't Larkin's fault, at least not entirely. Nina just wasn't attracted to him. There was no chemistry between them and nothing in common. However, in contrast, Maul was there, she felt the chemistry sparkling, but she didn't know much about him, yet.

She sighed. Their last meeting was not quite a ray of sunshine but she still thought that seeing him will make her feel something new. A deep breath of fresh air from her safe and mundane life.  

Her weeks usually went by this: morning yoga, taking medications, university, study and work more study. Some medical examination, where she receives a dose of a new medicine, or is examined by machines and pricked with needles, like a lab womp rat. 

Even her dates were the same. Average male's with an average life and background and purpose.

Everything was the same. Until it isn’t. Until she met him. 

If she ever sees him again, she’ll have some questions for him for sure. She started compiling a mental list. 

“Questions for the handsome and mysterious guy in the forest: 

- How old is he?

- Where does he come from?

- About his tattoos

- What is he? If he is not a Jedi apprentice? ..”

She was distracted from her thoughts. Polina’s floral scented perume filled the air between them, and she held two plates, with slices of cakes on them. 

“I know that look.”

Nina raised an eyebrow. This was one of her signature mimics, observing suspiciously.

Polina sent her a knowing look. 

“You are thinking about him. Mystery guy. Don’t insult me and try to deny it. I already know you, Nina Cerasus, just like the palm of my hand.” she said in a sing-song voice. 

Nina blushed by being caught, she never showed her thoughts or emotions but with Polina it felt easy and natural. She never judged, only listened and shared her thoughts. Nina loved her soul, and never quite figured out how she was still by her side, she wasn't as interesting as Polina, nor wealthy. But still felt grateful for her loyalty. 

But back to the point, Polina once said to her that her curiosity often got her into trouble. Into relationships that didn't have a long outcome nor meaning. They failed and failed like dominos, each in its own time with it’s own reasons. For her, curiosity was almost the same as sexual attraction. The former both prevent but cause the latter. Now that she felt it both, for equally at the same time (for the first time in her 22 standard years of life and 6 years of dating) she felt a bit excited, confused and maybe a bit scared. Scared of the effect he already had on her, and the terrible outcome which was inevitable, since the males she dated always left at the first difficulty.

Nina wasn't looking for something enduring, she wanted her freedom.

She had a hunch that Maul was the kind of person for whom attraction, curiosity and freedom go hand in hand.

She decided to go to the old villa. Now. 

Unfortunately Larkin was coming back with a smile and two glasses of sweet pink punch. 

“Please stick a fork in my neck.” Nina mumbled.

“You don’t like him? He seems cute though, like a puppy dog. You fetch something he’ll definitely bring it back to you with enthusiasm and heart eyes.”

“ Until he starts talking in every detail about his new ship and the rest he has at home. For every possible topic, the conversation turns back to ships.” Nina said, annoyed. 

“Yikes. That is definitely an undiagnosed symptom of mental illness. He could be psychotic. You’re lucky he didn’t murder you.” joked Polina.

Nina laughed, she loved Polina’s sense of humor.

“I don’t know how to give good advice but I can always make you laugh with a sarcastic comment.” the vampire shrugged “Don’t worry girl, just go. I’ll cover for you.”

“You are the best and I love you.” Nina kissed her cheek and took a plate which had a cake on it.

But fate had other plans for her. Larkin bypassed Polina and went straight to Nina. Nina stopped herself from rolling her eyes, but she grimaced when Larkin took the cake from her hand and replaced it with a drink.

"There you go. See? I am such a nice gal I even make sure you don't get fat sweetheart."

Seriously?!

Larkin acknowledged it with serious satisfaction and considered himself entertaining.

After that, he started chatting about relationships, asking questions and hints as discreetly as a cannon to the young woman, what she thinks about relationships and weddings.

"I don't really know, I haven't had a relationship." Nina shrugged.

"A woman as beautiful as you and you haven't had a physical relationship yet?" Larkin was shocked. "How come?"

"I didn't say that I don't have sex, I just hinted that every time before it got serious, the current male ruined everything between us. Now was my answer satisfactory enough?" Nina started to get angry. 

Under Larkin's cute side, Nina started to recognize the conceited asshole, he was just as boring as the others and predictable. Wasting her time. Pathetic!

"Couldn't the problem be something else? There's no way that all your boys were idiots. Maybe there is something wrong with you Nina. I think someone mentioned that your mom died..” Larkin confirmed.

Nina has decided that she already hates this man! She would prefer to strangle him with his own flasy imported silk scarf. 

“Who does he think he is? To analyze her! “

Her hands clenched into fists and she raised one of her eyebrows, curiously waiting for the continuation. She didn’t plan to make a scene, it wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it.

“This can’t be worse. Can it?”

"My mother is not the reason, so leave her out of this. I’m better alone, easier.” she answered calmly but inside her heart was pounding, she put down the punch glass before pouring the contents onto the man's cream-colored set, dyed bright pink with it.

"Nina. Nina. Nina.” he tsk-ed her in a patronizing honeyed voice. "You can't decide that at such a young age..."

Nina answered with an expression on her face that made it clear that he had better choose his next words carefully, then turned her back and stared at the landscape from the balcony. In a softer tone, he reached out to touch her, but pulled it back before making contact.

"Now you need someone to sweep you off your feet. A true romantic. Someone to guide you to a reasonable lifestyle. ”

Nina just laughed softly to herself, staring at the distant mountains, trying to hold back the urge to throw this idiot over the fence, to fall into the abyss and not be seen again.

The sunset painted the lines in a wonderful burnt orange color, it was almost crimson. She was thinking about the zabrak again. She longed for him to seduce her. 

"Oh Ms. Cerasus, why did you freeze me out so suddenly? What are you afraid of? Beware the ice queen has arrived! Can you even hear me?!”

Nina sighed. She had had enough of this, the man was annoying like a gungan.

She pushed herself away from the railing, which was decorated with wildflowers, and headed for the exit, picking up another larger slice of cake.

"You know you should really learn how to listen." Larkin gave one last piece of unsolicited advice.

Nina stopped, smiling.

“And you should really learn how to filter!” And showed him the shiny ring on her middle finger.

Maybe the male zabrak is still camping near the ruins and maybe he is still angry with her. But none of this matters, based on Nina's experience, 85% of quarrels and 45% of problems could be solved with a slice of marzipan pear cake.

Maul sat on the grass cross legged position with a straight back. He was meditating. Trying to meditate.

This time he was doing better since he met her.

Better but not immaculate like it used to be.

He was annoyed, this time not because of the anticipation of the Grand Plan, or because of his hatred of the Jedi. Something much less dignified for an almost pathetic cause.

He hasn't seen her since they fought. She didn't come.

Three days had passed and Maul had not seen the young woman's pretty figure appear either in the forest or in the ruins of the villa. He didn't feel her presence. He didn't even know why, but he felt that he had offended the female's pride, crossed a line, entered a door that Nina wasn't ready to let him in yet.

"What nonsense!" he frowned. “He is the apprentice of the most powerful person in the galaxy, a descendant of ancient warriors. And yet, a simple commoner, a woman with physical weakness dares to influence him!  How pathetic!”

Nina got under his skin and poisoned his thoughts. He had such nonsense in his mind that perhaps he was too intrusive and crude.

He allowed himself another frown.

"Why doesn't she come?"

"Will he ever see her? Maybe after the grand plan takes its place. "

Why did he think she looked like an angry tooka with her defiantly sparkling green eyes?

Why did he find this cute?

Cute?! Maul had never used that term before in his life.

“If Sidious doesn't do it to him, then he shall learn Sith lightning and use it on himself for these stupid and foolish and pathetic thoughts.” he rolled his eyes.

He jumped up and started walking, he was restless like a caged tiger.

But why does the Force let him feel this miserable? What lesson does he has to learn? Why? And why now? 

He had an unconscious urge to go and see her, but something held him back. Pride, or perhaps he was afraid that she would reject him.

His gloved hands were clenched into fists, his claws (although they were cut back just like his horns at the command of his Master) cut into his flesh, leaving a crescent moon shaped wounds in his palm.

Pain. It was a familiar feeling, a feeling he could always count on. He can rely on pain easily.

He activated the lightsaber and went through the usual figures he used with decisive elegant movements. Each time he felt stronger in the Force.

Still he thought of Nina, He lifted stones with his outstretched hand and cut them to pieces with his weapon. His anger oosed around his aura like a chalk coloured shadow. 

“Stars, Woman! What kind of spell have you casted on me?! 

You're in my mind, in my dreams, I can't focus. What kind of wicked test are you? Maul was sure that this was a test of how dedicated and loyal he was to his Master. As much as he underestimated her, she still managed to have an effect on him. Not a little, the impact was huge... Witchcraft!"

She was a tempting spell. A siren who mesmerized him, there is no other answer to his state.

Twice she had the opportunity to extend her spell on him. Both times in the dark with special lights and gorgeous green eyes.

He needs to see her. Her freckles, her eyes. Her scent and her aura that simultaneously awakened in him feelings of attraction and lust, interest in a conversation, and a kind of peaceful state that was unknown, but still carved by him.

The Force heard his thoughts because suddenly he felt her, for the first time in days. It was light and weak but still he felt her thoughts, lingering around Maul.

He felt some sort of tingling, in his fingers, horns and mouth. What is this?

He began to focus, and sit down to meditate again.

The female was quite far from him, yet he faintly sensed the longing, whether it was physical or not. She was thinking about him.

He despised himself, but he had to admit that, no matter how pathetic, he was filled with self-satisfaction that the female was thinking of him even though she was on the other side of the planet. Thinking about Maul.

Never having been the object of someone's concern before, it was somehow an honor.

He decided to continue his training and decided to use this vantage point when they met again.

Little does she know, he thinks about her too. 

next chapter

Taglist: @stardustbee @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

Let me know if you want to be added 💖

[sanversandfriends]

Fic isn't just an act of repair as Henry Jenkins says, but sometimes a safe place in which to tear everything apart. Here to talk about diving into those darker and grittier character spaces is @nerdsbianhokie, a writer who's been captivating Sanvers and Director Sanvers fans for years.

Tell us a little about yourself. How did you get started writing fic? Have you written for other fandoms? What are your favorite tropes?

Over two decades ago, I was six years old and reading a new book and had the sudden realization that I wanted to make people feel like that book made me feel. Since then, I've been a writer. The first fic I wrote was before I even knew fanfic was a thing. I was barely thirteen years old and all about CSI and had this vivid idea of a very short scene. I quickly found places where fic was hosted, and began to read and post.

Since then, I've moved through fandoms, sometimes staying for a time, like with Bering and Wells, other times only lingering for a brief moment. I watched Supergirl between season 1 and two, after learning that Maggie Sawyer, one of my favorite comic book characters (one of the first openly lesbian characters in mainstream comics? out before the comic code was done away with? what's not to love) was joining the show. I didn't watch beyond the first few episodes of season 3, but the characters have a hold of me and aren't letting go.

Since my time in the Bering and Wells fandom, angst and aus have been my favorite spaces to play in. Exploring darker spaces in the safety of fiction has always been a draw of writing to me, and the Supergirl characters can fit so well in so many different universes.

What were your inspirations for this particular story? What was it about this/these ships that grabbed you?

This fic started as a tumblr post by magicmumu2 about Alex and Maggie reuniting years later because their kids keep getting in trouble at school. I then made it sad by giving Alex a recently dead wife.

I really fell into the idea that Alex and Maggie did move on after their breakup, but then remeet at a later point in their lives. When thinking on how Alex might move on in a way I find interesting, I landed on my beloved Lucy Lane. My ultimate ship for Supergirl is Director Sanvers, so I've written all combinations of Alex, Maggie, and Lucy over the years, but the idea that Alex was happy with Lucy, but then lost Lucy and found Maggie again while still mourning, really pulled me in

Has the time spent away from your story changed your outlook or approach to any of the storylines or themes? Have you had any new inspirations or breakthroughs/revelations in the meantime? 

The time away hasn't really changed much, as I've been distracted by so many other fics, but having new eyes on it has really helped me figure out some things I was stuck on that kept me from working on it more.

 Any advice for new or aspiring fic writers?

Write. The best thing you can do is get ink on the paper. Writing is an art that needs to be practiced just like any other. As somebody with a degree in creative writing, I think the time I've spent writing and the amount of writing I've done has, cumulatively, done more for me than all the classes I took. 

If you were going to promote this fic with a single line, what would it be? 

A deep look into grief and healing, mourning and love.

If you’ve already posted some of your work, please provide a link. 

This is the original post, with the prompt and my initial addition.

I have also posted two separate fics that aren't part of this one but are in the universe as I worked out how Alex and Lucy got together and their family dynamic.

[mysticboombox]

Heya, bestie. I saw that "Touching" prompt post and I couldn't help but send it. 10 and 17, with Donnie or Leo, please? 💙💜 Thank you!

Safe and Sound

Pairing: Y/N x Leonardo

Pronouns: They/Them/She/Her

Point of View: Third Person

Warning(s): Grief, prepare for intense Leo fluff

Word Count: 1,234

Summary: Leonardo comforts reader who struggled with their mental health.

Author’s Note: Thanks for sending in the ask! I’m glad to finally give Leo the spotlight and attention he needed on my blog. I wrote this when Roe vs Wade was overturned. So for Leo to be a big brother to me in the moment, but be a loving and supporting lover in the fic really allowed me to try to write him to my interpretation. @sketch-and-write-lover was very kind in giving me advice on to write him and writing a song fic! If you don’t already, please go support them.

Low key this was supposed to be less than 1000 words, but girl loves giving details😂

Anywhizzle, here’s the fic, and I hope this makes up for lost time @foreignbrunette

10.) Spooning at night

17.) Holding the other’s chin up

Touching prompts are from @creativepromptsforwriting

(Y/N) sat on their bed, staring at the ceiling, while the city sounds played in the background. So much had happened and didn’t happen in less than a week and it felt like a physical force was slowly squeezing any motivation that was left in (Y/N)’s life. Before the silence could consume them, a tapping sound could be heard. 

They glanced at their window to see Leonardo patiently waiting, a warm smile spreading across his face as he looked in. (Y/N) walked to the window to unlatch the lock, giving Leo a small smile in return. They walked back to their bed while Leo made their way through the window. 

“How are you?” Leo asked, watching (Y/N) walk to their bed. He noticed something different about them, something about their mood was off. (Y/N) didn’t seem cheerful and as excited to see them. They didn’t respond to Leo’s question after a few minutes, causing concern to arise. (Y/N) finally looked at Leo, grief and stress written all over their face. Leo’s eyes widened and he strode to (Y/N)’s side of the bed. He sat down, rubbing gentle circles on her back.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” He watched (Y/N)’s face, watching and patiently waiting for them to respond. He moved a strand of hair from the side of their face when he heard them sniffle. (Y/N) took a shaky breath, fighting back the tears that were threatening to spill.

“It’s just-” they took a shaky breath.”-so much has happened this week and last week alone. I don’t feel safe in my own skin, I don’t feel comfortable going out alone, plus I’m sick and tired of people in general. And by people, I mean anyone that’s not you and your family. I’m so tired Leo, I want to give up and not care. I want to hide and never come out ever again. I’m… I’m scared.” She whispered, before laying down on her bed, and quietly cried. 

Leo sat on their bed in silence, processing everything (Y/N) had admitted. He tried to think what he could do to help alleviate the pain. It pained him immensely when he watched his family and loved ones struggle with their inner demons and he couldn’t take care of it, especially for his partner.

As he rubbed gentle circles on (Y/N)’s back, an idea began to form in his head. He thought it was a little silly, but since (Y/N) liked music, he thought it wasn’t that silly in reality. He leaned forward, and gently grasped (Y/N)’s chin before tilting their head to look at him. He wipes a few tears from their face. “Could I play a song for you while I spoon you?” 

(Y/N) stared back at Leo before nodding their head. Leo gave them a quick peck on the head before getting up. He walked through (Y/N)’s apartment, checking to make sure everything was locked up and turned off before returning to the bedroom to find (Y/N) had situated herself. He closed the door before he began to slowly strip himself of his gear and clothes, folding everything neatly and putting them where he can quickly access, just in case. He slowly looked towards (Y/N) and noticed they were watching him with an intensity that almost made him forget what he was doing. Once he was in nothing but his boxers, he grabbed his phone and sent his family a quick text to his family, letting them know he will be staying the night at (Y/N)’s apartment.

He found the song he wanted to share and pressed play, before putting the phone on the nightstand and slid behind (Y/N), spooning her. (Y/N) sighed, grateful to have Leo as a loving and supportive boyfriend. As the song played in the background, (Y/N) recognized the melody. It was Taylor Swift’s song Safe and Sound from the Hunger Games. She listened to the gentle sounds of the guitar strumming, slowly easing the pain in her heart.

I remember tears streaming down your face 

When I said I’ll never let you go

When all those shadows almost killed your light

I remember you said don’t leave me here alone

But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down 

You’ll be alright, no one can hurt you now

Come morning light, for you and I will be safe and sound

Leo held her close, listening to the gentle breaths (Y/N) would release and watched the tension begin to leave their body. He slowly released a churr, knowing (Y/N) loved it when he churred. They kissed his arm, thanking him for soothing her. They quietly listened to the next verse.

Don’t you dare look out your window, darling, everything’s on fire

The war outside our door just keeps raging on

Hold onto this lullaby, even when the music’s gone, gone

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down

You’ll be alright, no one can hurt you now

Come morning light, for you and I will be safe and sound

As the rest of the song played and ended, (Y/N) turned in Leo’s arms, and gently cupped his jaw, looking into Leo’s sapphire blue eyes with love. He hummed, nuzzling closer to (Y/N) before he glanced into their eyes again. He observed how the bedroom lamp’s light reflected off of her eyes, making her eyes appear like the sunrise as it moved above the horizon. He leaned in, gently pecking her lips, testing to see their reaction. 

(Y/N) cupped the back of his head before pulling him close, bringing him in for a gentle, yet heartwarming kiss. Leo’s heart fluttered, and he returned the gesture. The kiss was gentle and slow, allowing (Y/N)’s heart to soar and piece itself back together. She felt her heart grow in warmth, and could feel the stress and sadness melt from her body. Her body molded itself into Leo’s body, causing Leo to gently roll over them, pressing their body into the mattress. 

He licked their upper lip, asking for permission, and was pleased his request was granted immediately. (Y/N) moaned, wrapping their arms gently behind Leo’s head to keep them close. 

Leo could feel himself growing a little excited, but he didn’t want to change the mood. If (Y/N) wanted to go that route, he would patiently wait for their signal, for now he only wanted to shower them with love and affection. Before the kiss could escalate, he slowed the kiss down, eventually beginning to flutter kisses over (Y/N)’s face, neck, and upper chest. (Y/N) giggled, loving the sweet gesture. Before Leo could nuzzle into (Y/N), she brought his face close to hers, giving him one more kiss before laying back down.

Leo eventually turned off the lamp, and nuzzled into (Y/N)’s chest, a grin taking place on his face. They fell into a peaceful sleep, both wrapped in each other’s arms, feeling content and warm. (Y/N) felt safe knowing her lover would be there with her through all stages of her life. Because of this, she could conquer another day, not just for herself, but for Leo as well. 

Tags: @turtle-babe83​ @thelaundrybitch​ @leosgirl82​ @foreignbrunette​ @aurora-the-kunoichi​ @post-apocalyptic-daydream​ @yumefuusen​ @raphslovemuffin80​ @tmnt22​ @raphsweapondealer​ @bay-did-nothing-wrong​ @ladyofparchments​ @roxosupreme​ @felliebrock​ @angelcatlowyn​ @lady-maria-the-wolf225​ @nittleboo​ @tmntspidergirl​ @pheradream15​ @chicchanmooshy​ @raisin-shell​ @doctorelleth​ @infuriatedleprechaun​ @rheawritesforfun @fluffytriceratops @digitl-art-monstr @letdarknessconsumeyourworld @sewerninno @taffybear @sunnyandmoonysimper @sketch-and-write-lover  @mistyroselove 

[caramelfuzz]

Sick Jonathan Byers fic (Stoncy)

This is a little fic I wrote while trying to write something else. Like I said in my previous post, I have only seen season 1 so a lot of my characterization is based on fics I’ve read from here lol. If y’all have any advice for ways I can improve characterization please feel free to reach out and tell me! Everyone is over 20 in this fic, Jonathan still works several jobs plus taking college classes because I like an overworked guy with good intentions. 

“He’s sick again, Steve.”

“I can see that, I’m not blind. What are we going to do?”

“Clearly there’s something wrong with him. We need to take him to a doctor, fix his sleeping schedule, maybe make him take vitamins. Something.”

Jonathan tries to suppress a cough as he listens to his partners’ conversation. They sound unhappy. Why is he such a burden? This is the third time he’s gotten sick in five months after all, they have every right to be annoyed with him. They’d come to his apartment to surprise him with a date night a couple hours after he got off work only to find him sprawled on the sofa with a bad cold. Another bad cold. He woke up at the start of their conversation and is now trying not to let on that he’s awake, maybe they’ll just leave if they think he’s still asleep. He doesn’t really want them to go though, he’s sick and miserable and chilled. He keeps his eyes closed and tries to force himself to fall back asleep. It will hurt less if they leave while he’s asleep.

A cool hand on his forehead makes his eyes flutter slightly.

“Hey Jon, can you wake up for me?” 

It’s Nancy, her eyes are kind and worried. He opens his eyes, struggling to make them focus on the woman standing above him. He glances around and sees Steve beside her holding a thermometer. 

“Let’s get your temperature taken, baby.”

He adds, and suddenly hands are helping him sit up and coaxing the device between his lips. His nose prickles and he looks around for the tissues, nostrils flaring as the congestion shifts in his head now that he’s upright. He’s going to sneeze and they’ll have to start the three minutes over again.

“Hh!” Before he can lift his wrist to rub at the pesky tickle there’s a tissue clad finger being pressed beneath his nostrils. 

“Hold on a minute, you’re almost there.”

Nancy breathes, a small smile playing on her lips. Jonathan nods, giving a shaky exhale only to have his breath hitch again. The finger starts rubbing back and forth and the tickle backs off. 

Finally the thermometer is pulled from his mouth and the finger is removed, prompting him to shudder into his hands with a string of half stifled sneezes.

“Hh’kgxtsch! -ngkt! Hh’NGKtsh! ISSCh’hh! Issch! Ihh-EKSCChh!” 

He’s left panting and sniffling in the aftermath. 

He half expects a tissue box to be placed in his lap or a sympathetic blessing, but when he looks up there’s no one there. Had he just imagined his partners’ presence? His fever isn’t that high, is it? 

He reaches for some tissues and blows his drippy nose, a couple tears slipping down his cheeks. He’s pathetic, imagining someone would actually take care of him and not just leave because he’s disgusting and always sick.

[marnz]

For the fic asks 👀🤗🤲 :)

hi fey!! thank you 💜

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please! wow thank you for asking. but the truth is, oh my god...i really am writing a teen wolf fanfic in the year of our lord 2022. it's hurt/comfort and it takes place 8 years after canon. stiles is in law school in seattle and comes across an injured, full wolf shift derek who has apparently traveled 300+ miles to him acting only on instinct?? featuring: bed sharing. one of my fav hikes. mutual pining. a restaurant dish called Straight Up Bitch. awkward conversations about past trauma and things you do as a teenager and then regret as an adult. just your usual! original work wise I'm still working on the Captain Swash book, and i've realized it's more like a western but with sailboats.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started? ah great question! I would strongly recommend reading a wide variety of things (different genres, poetry, prose, creative nonfiction, etc) to develop your own style. Try to stretch your writing muscles prose wise, structure wise, pacing, plot, etc. Read all the meta about your character/fandom of choice you can. Don't feel obligated to follow popular trends or fanon, try to cultivate your own understanding of the character. And at the end of the day write the fic or thing you want to see most in the world, because other people really want to see it too.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

have this snippet of a previous Captain Swash draft

Had she fought for this land? For so long Swash had felt violently apart from the rest of the world, and yes, she had run, had fled, unfit for human society, unable to remain. She had gone to the coast because she had wanted to see things outside of herself, be outside of herself, there was a whole world out there living and dying and decaying and she could see it all. She had seen improbable things; a moose gliding smoothly beneath the ocean’s tides; black and white whales snapping up salmon; birds mixed with sudden summer rain, like silver fire in the sky. But not everyone loved it; how many times had she gone out in a gale to pilot ships, only to have the sailors curse the raging sky, the wind and the rain? It is almost alive, Swash had wanted to say, thunder booming like a heartbeat, and she had meant I am almost alive; here, in a place desolate, implacably grey and green, eroded, entropic, all of it.

But had she fought for it? For the glaciers’ right to make the world? 

Swash looked out from the balcony, from Vena to the glittering Maggander below, and green Drumlin beyond, and felt tears sting her eyes. When the world broke and dusk grew too long, the sun swallowing itself and all around it, when her bones were a memory, when those memories split like atoms and died along with all light and heat, when the universe became still and dark, she would be gone and not even her mistakes would remain. And you could not fight for that–you did not need to–it was inevitable. Was there a way to take a life and justify it on the bedrock of your reality?

The truth was, she had not fought for anything. Glory was a lie, power was a lie, Riparia was a lie, a lie that consumed, a lie that was never fed, but ate, and ate, and ate. Or maybe she had fought for something intangible and fragmented as fire; childhood was like that; full of things hovering unsaid, and your way of seeing the world was a ghost overlaying reality. And Swash had been such a stupid child; she had questioned nothing–not the despair, not the choked off sentences, not the need for war, not the loss of history, not the woman erasing and effacing and manufacturing that loss–Aviss was like a glacier, making the world–and then came the Front, came the cavalry, came her childish hopes and dreams melting, dissolving, the wood of her shield liquid, the metal of her sword frayed fire in her hand, and the whole world warped, warped, warped, as the sun shone overhead.

[footprintsinthesxnd]

Wildest Dreams

A/N - I’m just gonna pretend nothing in Season 5 happened because my heart can’t take it 😭💔

Osferth x Reader

Warning - set in Season 5 but doesn’t really contain many spoilers

Massive thank you to @lauwrite1225 for proof reading this fic for me and for always supporting my writing. Your the best 💞

————————————————————————

Osferth watched solumnly across the table at Finan and (y/n’s) antics. She threw her head back, laughing at something he’d said, her green eyes sparkling in the candle light.

“You are an arseling Finan!” She declared, smacking the back of his head before standing up and moving towards the bar. Finan chuckled to himself before noticing Osferth’s expression.

“What’s on your mind Baby Monk,” Finan asked, slurring slightly from the ale he’d consumed.

“Nothing,” Osferth glanced down into his now empty ale mug, embarrassed that once again Finan had caught him gazing at (y/n).

“You must tell her how ya feel Osferth. She’s a good women and you deserve to be with a good women.” Finan looked at Osferth sincerely, “and she deserves a good man.” Osferth nodded solumlely without looking Finan in the eye.

“I just don’t think she feels the same and I don’t know how I could live with myself if she was in love with someone else.”

“Come on Osferth you have loved her for a long time.” Finan replied. “And she loves you.”

It was Sihtric’s time to chime in now, “Osferth when have Finan and I ever given you bad advice huh?”

“All the time,” Osferth groaned, placing his head in his hands. “Like the time when you made me go up to those Danes and tell them I would smite them. Or that you always get me into terrible situations like when we drank too much celebrating becoming Lord Uhtred royal advisors and then I had to ride out to raise the Mercian feuds.”

Sihtric sniggered, “that was quite funny.”

Osferth glared at him.

“Well sometimes we give good advice and anyway (y/n) is in love with ya. Your just too much of an arseling to see it.” Finan stumbled drunkly into the table, leaning over and pointing an accusing finger at Osferth.

“Don’t lose her Osferth, you’ll regret it.”

The Irish man regained his composure, patting Sihtric on the back before making his way over to the bar for more ale.

————————————————————————

“Lord, i uh, i need a little help,” Osferth asked sheepishly, turning so that Uhtred and Finan could see the scene unfolding behind him.

Two women were scraping by the hay barn, grabbing and shouting at each other.

“Again,” Uhtred sighed

“Come here bitch,” the first woman screamed.

“Right! Hey, hey! Easy, easy!” Finan called, running over to the women with Uhtred in tow.

Just then (y/n) came round the corner, she watched as the women fought.

“He’s mine! He’s mine!” The second woman cried.

Osferth looked around worriedly before meeting (y/n’s) eyes, the hurt look on her face broke his heart. Finan on the other hand smirked knowingly, his plan was unfolding just as it should.

Uhtred and Finan managed to drag the women apart.

“Why do they fight over you?” Uhtred questioned Osferth.

“I… I’m… I’ve got no idea, Lord.” With that Osferth turned and ran off, torch in hand.

The women both went their separate ways as (y/n) followed after Osferth.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n)! Please… wait… (y/n) please!”

“What do you want Osferth! And what was all that about?” (Y/n) demanded, waving her arm at the two women.

“It’s… it was nothing. I … I don’t know.” He stuttered.

“Didn’t look like nothing to me. It looked like you had two of the village whores fighting over you. You know I never thought when we moved to Rumcofa that you would sleep your way around the town.” (Y/n) scoffed, “and I thought you were a good man. I guess I was wrong!” Tears streaming down her face, (y/n) turned to walk away.

“(Y/n) wait please I can explain.”

“No Osferth. You don’t need to explain yourself. It’s your life and you deserve to be happy. You deserve a good women and I… I guess that’s not me.”

Osferth watch heartbroken as (y/n) walked away from him. I should go after her. I shouldn’t have listen to Finan’s stupid plan. Osferth berated himself. And now he had lost the only women he had ever loved.

————————————————————————

“I’m sorry Osferth. I didn’t think it would go like that. I really thought she’d react differently.”

“Well that’s the problem with you Finan, you never think.” Osferth snapped and immediately regretted it, the hurt on Finan’s face said it all. “I’m sorry Finan… I… oh god I’ve messed up. I love her Finan, I’ve loved her for so long…I”

Osferth let out a strangled sob, burying his face in his hands.

“Oh Osferth,” Uhtred began, “(Y/n) loves you too. You have both been too blind to see it. You must make things right by her. She deserves to be happy.”

“As do you Baby Monk.” Sihtric added.

“Now go get ya girl.” Finan slapped him on the back, sending him tripping forward towards the tavern door. “OSFERTH! OSFERTH! OSFERTH!” They all chanted as he made a hasty exit.

————————————————————————

(Y/n) watched the river flow by in silence, tossing the occasional stone in the wash of foam at the edge of the bank. She had tried to keep herself busy, tried to forget about Osferth but it was impossible, the pain ran too deep.

(Y/n) was so caught up her thoughts that she did not hear Osferth approaching.

“(Y/n)?” He asked cautiously. “(Y/n) I don’t mean to disturb you…I just … I need to talk to you… please.” He begged.

“Please Osferth just leave me be. Have you not done enough. Have you not caused me enough pain and torment.” She turned to him and his stomach twisted. Her face was a picture of agony, pale, tear stained cheeks. Her hair was in disarray and her lips quivered as she spoke.

“Oh (y/n).” He sighed and pulled her into a tight hug. (Y/n) let out a gut reaching sob, burying her face into Osferth’s chest, gripping tightly onto his robes.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry (y/n).” Now they were both crying, tightly holding on to the other. All the emotions that had built up over years was finally coming out. Osferth tried to compose himself, pulling back a little and brushing a few strands of blonde hair away from her face.

“I love you (y/n) with all my heart, I always have. I’m so sorry about what happened, it was Finan’s idea to… to make you jealous in the hope you would admit your feelings to me because I was too scared to admit mine. I’m a coward, I’m so sorry.”

“You… you love me?”

“Oh god (y/n) yes, yes I love you. I’ve always loved you. You have my heart and I…” he places his hands on the side of her face. “I want you to be mine.”

(Y/n) kisses Osferth with a passion, trying to convey all their emotions, love, loss, fear, hope, everything. Osferth’s lips were soft (y/n) noted, they moulded to hers like they were made for each other. Her hands snaked around the back of his neck and into his hair, tugging gently. Osferth moaned into her mouth, deepening the kiss. He gripped onto her hips and pulled her body flush to his. They both pulled away breathless but elated. Smiling Osferth brushed his thumb across (y/n’s) cheek. “Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would ever happen. I love you (y/n).”

“I love you too Osferth, always.”

Behind them Finan smirked holding out his hand as Sihtric sighed, passing him a few pieces of silver.

“Told ya it would work.” He smirked.

“Finan what are you up to now.” Ingrith’s voice called as she approached. “Oh he has finally told her, thank goodness I don’t think i could stand another day watching him mope around like a dejected puppy. Bless them. Young love.” She said, gazing lovingly at her husband.

“Come love let’s go home.” Finan wrapped his arm around his wife’s shoulders. Sihtric followed them back towards the village leaving the young couple embracing on the river bank.

Tags @lauwrite1225 @emilyhufflepufftlk @fan-fantasies @maggiescarborough @magravenwrites

Please let me know if you want to be tagged in futures fics. 💞

[worriedvision]

A bitter truth (part 5)

So this is finally the next part of the fic lol, hopefully people arent too mad about the wait haha! I’m going to add this to the masterlist before I forget lol, gender neutral reader as always!

--

After resting for a while longer, hearing Albedo talk to the traveler about their ventures, you all decide to go for drinks at the Angels Share. Well, the traveler insisted before Albedo could protest.

Diluc was looking after the bar for the night, and you note the way his eyes seem to soften when he notices you’re safe and well. Looking at your hand, however, causes him to stiffen up, calling Albedo over so they could discuss what caused this accident to happen. The traveler opts to get the drinks, wanting to talk to Diluc as well, leaving yourself and Gorou to sit at the table yourselves. 

“So...” Gorou trails off, the silence that follows not helping the two of you get comfortable. He glances down at your vision, and he finds himself curious about what caused you to get the vision. “When did you get your vision?” He hums out, genuinely curious. 

“It was one day when we were training.” You state, following Gorou’s line of sight. “I didn-”

“Are you serious?” Gorou huffs out, exasperated by your statement. “You mean to tell me, you got a vision, and you didn’t use it to fight?” He begins to raise his voice, causing people to look over at the two of you.

“Please, let me explain!” You plead, Gorou gritting his teeth together.

“You didn’t give your all in battle.” His voice shakes. “I have lost many people in battle who died giving it their all, and you didn’t even try to use your vision?” Gorou continues to raise his voice, slamming his fist down on the table.

“You know how people in our army thought of electro visions!” You begin to explain, only to get caught by Gorou glaring at you.

“Damn it, _!” Gorou cries out. “You thought because your vision was purple you couldn’t use it?” He growls out. “We had several people who used electro delusions, don’t give me that pathetic excuse!” Gorou stands up, towering over you. 

You close your eyes, preparing yourself for whatever Gorou had in store for you. 

“One of you needs to leave.” You hear Diluc gruff out, crossing his arms. “I won’t allow you to disrupt the bar.” 

You begin to get up, slowly opening your eyes to see where you’re going. You couldn’t bare to be in the bar, knowing everyone heard Gorou’s outburst. 

Closing the door behind you, you take a deep breath before you opt to take a walk before returning to your apartment for the night. Perhaps even doing some commissions to take your mind off of the pure disappointment you say in your superior? 

--

“Hey, what’s got you down?” You ask the new recruit, who was obviously struggling with her bow. A sigh leaves her before admitting she knows nothing  about using her newly obtained vision. She was great with her aiming and her shots, never missing, but she failed to know how to utilise her vision.

“I may not have a vision,” You state, subconsciously hovering a hand over your hidden vision as you start to encourage the recruit. “But I’ve heard a big part of using your vision is visualising it. For example, envision your arrow becoming infused with your vision.”

She nods, taking a deep breath before she begins to aim again. Seeing her bow slowly come to life using your advice, she can’t help but smile as the arrow has finally listened to her command. You pat her on the back before walking away, hearing a distant ‘thank you!’ from behind.

--

“Look who we have here!” You hear a man sing out, walking towards you. Looking over, you spot the cavalry captain you met once. “What’s got you down on this lovely night?” He asks, noting the tears that were threatening to roll down your face. 

Before you can reply, Kaeya reads your mind.

“That interaction with your former superior was... certainly eye opening.” Kaeya admits. “Was it hard to leave your vision unused for all this time?” He thinks out loud.

“I’ve had to suppress the urge to use it in battle, yes. Being fully honest, it was painful at times.” You admit. “Now, I’m hoping to figure out how I can use it.” You finish. 

“Well, let me instruct you tonight!” Kaeya offers. “How about we take some commissions?” He hums out. 

--

After showing Kaeya what you had managed to learn from Albedo, he can’t help but find himself curious. 

“You said you slid more than you preferred when you were focusing on an open location...” Kaeya places a hand on his chin, eyeing a nearby hilichurl camp that needed clearing. “How about we try something. Try to focus on getting to one of those hilichurls. Perhaps it’ll be more controlled then.” He rationalises. 

Nodding to yourself, you grasp your polearm, ready to strike. Taking a starting run, you fixate on a hilichurl that was dancing by a campfire. Your polearm becoming purple with your vision, you focus on the hilichurls feet, smiling to yourself when you successfully control your movement while you sped up. Kaeya rushes over to help you pick off the rest of the hilichurls, realising you were very much outnumbered. 

“Bravo, bravo!” Kaeya claps, cheering your victory. “That was much more controlled than last time. I believe this calls for a celebratory drink.” He hums out. 

“After these other commissions are done!” You sing out, Kaeya laughing lightly before agreeing.

The other commissions were really more tolerable for you, gaining more confidence in your actions as you went through your commissions in a time that felt miniscule. 

--

Gorou was sitting, trying to enjoy his drink as he felt Dilucs eyes bore into him. 

“So, what’s so controversial about having an electro vision?” Paimon tilts her head, looking over to wait for Gorou to explain the context behind your actions. 

“Some recruits thought that people who get electro visions were part of the other side.” Gorou sighs out, swirling his drink in his beer mug before looking back up. “It was a vocal minority, but nobody had the energy to correct their ideals.” He admits, rolling his eyes out of disbelief. 

“With that information in mind, I suppose it was only reasonable for them to keep their vision under cover.” Albedo states blankly before taking a sip out of his drink. 

The traveller can’t help but huff out of anger. Paimon looks over, asking the traveler what was wrong. 

“I find it unbelievable that people in the resistance were like that.” They admit. “If you ask me, I think getting an electro vision would be pretty badass given the context!” 

Diluc glances over at Gorou, noting the regret that was slowly painting his features as he finally started to understand your actions. 

--

The next day, you wake to a knocking on your door. Expecting it to be Albedo, you open the door, only to be met by a lady you didn’t know about. 

“Rise and shine, cutie!” She sings out. Glancing down at your vision, she can’t help but smile. “A birdie told me you had an electro vision. Come along to library and we can bond over a vision in common!”