#PREV. I WISH SHE WAS REAL TOO
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w3ndytheraccoon · 9 months ago
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And I don’t EVEN wanna touch the “took Patrokhilles to war” thing with a five foot stick. I haven’t read the Illiad in a while but I don’t think that’s how it goes-
I went on tiktok to just watch some silly Odysseus videos but then I mostly saw people going like "Yeah, maybe Odysseus cried on Calypso' island every day but honestly he had that coming after what he did Achilles and Patroclous/Circe!!!" and "Everything that happens in Odyssey is deserved cuz he took Patrochilles to war!!!" and "I feel so bad for Circe and Calypso and Penelope, they deserved better!!!"
For fucks sake I beg you, read anything different from Millers bs and like educate yourself- And please stop goddamn saying that rape victim. deserved it.
Circe probably didn't give a flying fuck, Calypso is a rapist and abuser and Penelope deserved everything she wanted and SHE WANTED ODYSSEUS
I think I've had enough internet for today, imma go wash my eyes with bleach. Anyways sorry for ranting here, i hope you don't mind it lmao
It's alright. I absolutely understand the vents about the whole thing. :'D No one deserves to be a victim of such a thing no matter WHAT they've done. I hope your eyes are okay after the bleach
Like Odysseus does so many fucked up things but Calypso and Circe? He is the victim. Period. It's very clear that Odysseus is in extreme distress on Ogygia. And Circe wasn't some sort of FwB situation. There's fear and numbness in the language he uses when talking about it. There's so much victim blaming and it SUCKS.
Even then, Odysseus' journey was kind of about "temptation" or just straight up "Die or get out of my sea." From Poseidon. "I don't want you in my waters so I'm gonna try and give you things that will keep you on land or just kill you."
Immortal goddesses wanting you would be many people's dream come true but not for Odysseus. And I think that's the point. His determination, how he clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, is incredible. Many people would've given up and just started a new life but he never would because no life he could ever create would compare to the life he had before. Even if it's different, it's what he's always wanted.
He literally tells Calypso "I'm not stopping until I'm home. I don't care if I suffer more until I do. I'm going home."
“Mighty goddess, do not be angry with me over this. I myself know very well Penelope, although intelligent, is not your match                                          to look at, not in stature or in beauty. But she’s a human being and you’re a god. You’ll never die or age. But still I wish, every moment to get back to my home,                                                       to see the day of my return. And so, even if out there on the wine-dark sea some god breaks me apart, I will go on— the heart here in my chest is quite prepared to bear affliction. I’ve already had so many troubles, and I’ve worked so hard                                  through waves and warfare. Let what’s yet to come be added in with those.”
(Book 5, Johnston)
Circe's a goddess and what happened is nothing like Dionysus and Ariadne and Apollo and Hyacinthus for example. Circe never gave Odysseus a crown of stars and he would never go out of his way to kill 120 people for bothering her. They did not love each other and he can't refuse as she's a goddess.
If you interpret them sleeping together the entire year,(It's only explicitly said that they had sex once so that's what I go with personally.) that doesn't mean he was happy with it! Even then, the whole situation is not what a healthy FwB should look like! I'm asexual and even I know that no one in a FwB situation should have to BEG in any way that basically says "Please let me go or kill me" with supplication!!! The fact that he leaves so quickly he forgets one of his men? The fact that during Elpenor's funeral, he doesn't greet Circe himself? He was avoiding her. Wouldn't he want to get "one last night together" during Book 12 if they were fwb? 🙄
It's bonkers to me that people hate him for being a "cheater" when A.) having multiple lovers wasn't uncommon in Ancient Greece, and B.) the two people he is explicitly said to have "cheated" with, weren't his choice. He wasn't actively searching for pretty women either!!!
As mentioned, while it was common for men to have many lovers, Odysseus never had any listed unlike some of the other men. (not bashing any of them. I'm just making a point in comparison.) He also has no other children besides Telemachus in Homer's works. There's no evidence of him having other lovers other than speculation. (funny enough, I once read somewhere that the reason why Odysseus is so mean is because he doesn't "bond" enough with the other soldiers. 😂)
Does that mean he didn't have other lovers? Technically, Nope! It's just never explicitly stated either way. He has slaves but none were ever said to be concubines or that he sleeps with them. He has deep bonds with his fellow soldiers but that doesn't mean he sleeps with them. That doesn't mean people can't write or talk about him doing so even though it's not mentioned! Just like it also means that someone can write him not doing so as there's nothing that says it either way in Homer's Works! :D
It's fucked up when people say "He didn't try to leave Calypso enough" or something of the like. It just tells you how A.) they didn't read the Odyssey or have piss on the poor reading comprehension or B.) ...you should probably stay away from that person...
With Circe though??? I can understand the confusion but digging deeper and looking at the text, he wasn't having a good time. Or at the very least was walking on Eggshells the whole time. I hate bringing up that essay over and over again but like...I literally wrote everything there.
I also don't like how people take Circe's morally gray-ness away from her. Let her do something fucked up to be fucked up!!! Let her traumatize Odysseus!
Idk, I kind of hate that I'm "known" for this but I relate to this idiot asshole a lot and it means a lot to me that his story, despite what happens to him, has a happy ending :'D
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nadvs · 3 months ago
Text
the power play (part three)
pairing hockeyplayer! rafe cameron x tutor! reader
rating mature 18+
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summary rafe is your complete opposite. the only thing you have in common with the hockey player you tutor is that he’s also recently had his heart broken. in a last-ditch effort to make the people who hurt you regret it, you agree to pretend to date.
< prev
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Rafe is waiting for you in front of your building, this time to take you to a frat party.
“Hi,” you say cheerfully, settling into his passenger seat, “for the third day in a row.”
Apparently, Emma always goes to these parties, and since Beck is friends with a lot of the frat’s members, you’re almost certain he’ll go, too.
You’re also meeting Lyla there. She’s been open-minded about Rafe. You hope he doesn’t make her regret it.
“You’re going to have to be nice tonight,” you say, then shut the door with a hard thud.
“Why?”
“Because my best friend will be there and I want her to like you.”
Rafe stares ahead, his mood plummeting. He doesn’t want to deal with this.
He didn’t care what Emma’s friends thought about him, until she started bringing up how much they don’t like him. You’re not even his real girlfriend, and the thought of being subject to that sort of judgement again makes his blood run hot.
He drives out onto the road. You wait for him to speak, but he doesn’t.
“Don’t tell me you’re already mad about something,” you say with a quiet laugh. “What’s up?”
You haven’t even been in his car for half a minute and you’re already trying to open up his wounds again, clueless to the fact that you’re reminding him of the things he wants to forget.
“What am I supposed to say to her?” Rafe murmurs.
“Just be polite,” you reply. “And act like you like me.”
He tensley rakes a hand through his hair. Something’s off with him. He’s never had to ask you how to navigate this.
“Are you nervous?” you ask.
“Nah.”
“What are you then?”
“I’m fine,” he says tersely.
You roll your eyes. You thought you’d gotten past feeling uneasy about pulling this off, but right now, you have no idea if this is going to work when you and Rafe are so out of sync.
You already aren’t in the mood to go to a party. He’s not doing anything to change that.
“I guess I should take back what I said about us being friends,” you tease.
He doesn’t say anything. You gaze up at the starry night sky through the window, letting out a sigh.
“I’m okay to cancel if you don’t feel like doing this,” you offer. “I’m in the middle of a great book that I’d like to get back to anyway.”
Rafe doesn’t know what to do with the things you say sometimes. It’d be easier if you snipped back or iced him out like everyone else does, because then, he wouldn’t feel shitty like he does now.
It’s annoying how much you unknowingly push these touchy, complicated topics. Even though you’re giving him an out, it’s hard to ignore how rotten he feels when he shuts down your innocent chit-chat.
So, he relents.
“I don’t want to – to have to think about impressing someone,” he admits with a stammer you haven’t heard before.
You look at him again, somewhat stunned. You almost make a joke about how this whole ruse, which he thought up, sort of hinges on impressing people. But the tension is too thick.
“You don’t have to impress her,” you reply, your eyes drifting over the outlines of his profile. “I just want her to believe you like me because she might mention it to her brother. But it’s not like… a test. If it were, I’d make you study. That’s kind of my whole thing.”
You find relief when he cracks a small smile, his eyes still on the road. You smile back, wishing he thought of you as someone he could trust, and wondering why he’s stressed about his fake girlfriend’s best friend's opinion, when he doesn’t seem like the type to worry about what anybody thinks of him.
“I’m surprised you care what she thinks,” you say, your tone lighthearted.
Rafe chews on his lip.
“I know this isn’t…” He motions between you, aware of how ridiculous it is to be tense about this when you’re not even really dating. He exhales, giving in. “Emma’s friends didn’t like me. She always brought it up.”
His words hit you, sadness twisting your heart. His ex did badmouth him minutes after she met you; you wouldn’t be surprised if she complained about him to her friends, handing them reasons to dislike him, using it against him.
That’s what’s bothering him. This is a bad reminder.
“All you have to do is what you did last night,” you tell him. “You don’t even have to talk much. I honestly think Lyla expects to see me with a guy who lets me do all the talking.”
You continue to stare at him. He’s stiff. On edge. It’s another crack in the facade, another peek into the things he hides.
“Why would she… always bring it up?” you ask quietly.
Rafe turns the car onto a narrow street, the steering wheel sliding underneath his hands.
“We said shit just to hurt each other all the time,” he mutters.
You gaze forward, your chest tight. At this point, you’re sure that what they had was toxic. His ex said he had red flags, but it sounds like she was the same way. You still don’t know why he liked her so much.
He’s obviously worked up. You shouldn’t push. You decide to put yourself in the spotlight to even the score.
“I never told you how Beck rejected me,” you say. “He hugged me, then said I’m a better friend than his sister.”
“Shit,” he winces.
“Yeah,” you chuckle. “You know when you can’t fall asleep and you think about all of your most embarrassing moments? That’s one of mine.”
Rafe breathes a quiet laugh. He grips the wheel when he reaches a stop sign, frustrated that he’s so curt with you, and even more frustrated that he cares. You’re slowly claiming a soft spot he didn’t know he had, whether he likes it or not.
“I’m… still pissed off,” he explains, his syllables sharp. “At her. Not you.”
It’s something that you didn’t expect about Rafe when you first met – that he can tell when he’s being too harsh and then tensely backpedals. You have a feeling he’s not really mad. He’s hurt. But he’d rather hide behind anger.
“I would be, too,” you say.
He offers an appreciative nod, avoiding eye contact.
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Lyla greets you with a big hug once you find her in the crowded frat house.
“I haven’t seen you in forever,” she says, then looks up at Rafe. “You stole my best friend.”
“Can you blame me?” Rafe replies, putting his arm around your shoulders. You smile up at him, the uneasiness you’d felt dissolving. He can put on a good show when he wants to.
You quickly catch up with Lyla while Rafe quietly stands next to you. When there’s a gap in conversation, you turn to him and motion for him to come closer. He leans down.
“You can go hang out with your friends now,” you whisper. “Or should we stay together? What do couples do?”
Your words echo in his head. He didn’t think about if you’ve actually been part of a real couple before. He gazes at you, wondering why you never said anything about it.
“They should see us together first,” he finally says.
“Good point,” you say. “Let’s do a lap.”
Lyla finds a friend in the crowd and you take the opportunity to get a drink with Rafe. You walk to the kitchen, nudging past people together, your fingers interlaced with his.
Behind the worn laminate kitchen island, a lively game of beer pong is taking place. Emma is standing by the far end of the table, playing next to a guy who’s standing close to her.
You look up to see if Rafe notices. He does. His jaw tenses as he stares at her.
When you step up to the stack of empty solo cups, you catch Beck on the other side of the living room, leaning against a wall and chatting with a couple of his friends. You hate that your stomach still goes numb at his smile.
“They’re both here,” you tell Rafe.
He turns to face you, your hands still joined. You know what he looks like when he’s concentrating. You’ve seen it through your tutoring sessions, the way his eyes narrow and his dimples cave in as he flattens his lips together.
“You have your thinking face on,” you laugh.
“On the counter,” he says.
“Excuse me?” you nearly shout, eyes widened.
He nudges your hips with firm hands. The edge of the counter is hard against your lower back. He steps forward to push the clutter behind you aside.
Rafe’s brows lift in expectation.
“Sit on the counter,” he explains, “so they can’t miss us.”
You let him take the lead and feel for the counter with your palms. With Rafe’s grasp on your hips and your own force, you settle on the hard countertop. He guides your knees apart and shifts to stand between your thighs.
Your throat goes dry.
He’s smooth, experienced, clearly having done stuff like this before. The thought of it, of him, makes your skin burn and you force yourself not to picture it.
You’ve been close to Rafe before – you sat on his lap just last night – but this is the most suggestive position you’ve been in together, and it’s sending your thoughts into an uncontrollable frenzy.
Just a second ago, you were standing a few feet away from him, and now he’s between your legs, his frame big and dominating, his palms hot on your thighs.
“Hands on me,” he instructs.
You stiffly rest your forearms on his shoulders, the crisp smell of his cologne dancing over you. Your eyes dart to Beck, who hasn’t noticed you, and you tell yourself to do with Rafe what you always imagined doing with him.
You cradle the back of his neck, gently lacing his soft hair between your fingers. The conversations and music fade away as you and Rafe settle in a moment that looks private, but is really just for show.
Your mind slows down as you remind yourself that this isn’t real and there’s no reason to be shy.
Rafe is eye-level to you now. It’s still bothering him – why wouldn’t a girl who never stops talking tell him that she hasn’t been in a relationship?
“You haven’t dated before?” he asks.
“What?”
“Why are you asking me what couples do?”
“Oh.” You laugh and shrug, as if it’s apparent. “When you’re in love with someone for, like four years, you don’t really pay attention to other guys.”
“You didn’t tell me,” Rafe murmurs.
“Is it important?”
“A lot of things you say aren’t, but you still say them.”
You laugh, lips parting in shock.
“Jerk,” you mutter under your breath.
“You’re name-calling now?” he says, amused at the way that calling him that, even as a joke, seemed like it made you a little uncomfortable.
“Sure am,” you retort. “I’m kidding, though.”
He scoffs, amused again. Of course you had to clarify that you didn’t mean it.
“That’s why you’ve been so freaked out about this?” he realizes, cluing in that all your nerves have been because this, all of this, is entirely new to you.
“Paired with the fact that this is a ridiculous thing to be doing,” you say. “I thought it was obvious. So much for being easy to read, huh?”
Rafe’s brows furrow. It makes no sense. You two couldn’t be more different, but he can imagine what other guys would see in you now that he’s used to your unrestrained cheerfulness. You have a rare sincerity to you. It’s absurd how many years you wasted on Beck.
“What the hell do you see in him?” he asks, an unexpected sense of protectiveness pricking at him.
You look up to the ceiling in thought. Your fingers continue to lace through his hair, and he ignores the goosebumps that are blossoming on his skin.
When you look back down again, you notice Beck’s gaze on you from across the room.
“This is a first. I’m telling my pretend boyfriend why I like a guy that’s looking right at me,” you say. “I had fun with him. He’s hardworking and he’s nice to everybody and I respect that in a person. And when I talked to him, he cared about what I was saying. He remembered little things about me. He’s kind.”
“He led you on, though,” he remembers.
“Maybe. I do wonder if he knew I liked him and kept me around because he enjoyed the flattery or the help with school,” you say. “But I don’t know. He could’ve hoped I’d get over it and wanted to spare me the embarrassment. Or maybe I read into things and imagined he was flirting with me when he never was. I could’ve built all this stuff up in my head.”
Rafe takes in all the words you just threw at him, bringing out a touch of amusement from you.
“I fell for him because he made me feel special,” you conclude. “Isn’t that a big part of loving someone? You like the person you are when you’re with them?”
He looks at you silently, reminding you of when you met him and all he would offer you is a blank stare. Then, his face drops in melancholy.
While he’s usually drowning in his overwhelming thoughts, with his ex, life was simple. He could forget about the shit he didn’t want to think about because she never pushed.
Before they started fighting so much, he could do his best impression of who he always wanted to be. A man who’s steady. Who’s strong.
“Yeah,” Rafe says.
“How’d you feel with her?” you ask. “When things were good, I mean.”
You hope he meets your eyes again. He does.
“Everything was easy,” he says. “It’s like I wasn’t as…”
“As?”
“Fucked up,” he admits.
Your shoulders drop. For the first time, you see a piece of why he was with Emma. She made him feel uncomplicated.
You wonder what Rafe has been through to make him think of himself that way, but you’re treading carefully, avoiding any risk of embarrassing him. No matter how rude he can be, you’re almost certain it comes from a place of sensitivity, and of wishing it didn’t.
“Isn’t it kind of funny?” you say, trying to lighten the mood. “He made me feel special and you make me feel annoying. She made things easy for you and I literally nag you to do your homework. And we’re supposedly dating.”
Rafe’s lips curl into a smile. You mirror it.
Just past his shoulder, you spot Emma’s gaze on you. She’s still playing beer pong, laughing with the guy she’s standing next to, but her eyes land on you and Rafe every few seconds.
“She keeps looking over,” you say. You think of their shared history, of how many memories they must have made together. Maybe Emma just needs to see him with someone else long enough to realize she wants him back. “What will you do if she wants to get back together?”
Rafe squints. He kept trying to make things work after she broke up with him because he just wanted the peace he’d once had with her back.
But when someone fucks him over, he’s done. The way she’s been dragging his name to anyone who’ll listen, to you the very day she met you, leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. She may have broken his heart, but she doesn’t own it anymore.
“I’m done with her,” he tells you. “What if Beck asks you out?”
You’re not sure how to answer him, because you’d written off Beck being interested in you as a possibility. You hate that your heart skips thinking about it.
You shouldn’t want a man who could only want you once he thinks he can’t have you. But it’s easier said than done. The years of infatuation have a hold on you.
“I don’t know,” you confess. “But no matter what happens, we should have an easy-out clause. No hard feelings when one of us is done with this. Cool?”
“Yeah,” he says. “Cool.”
“Beck’s looking, too,” you say. “I think they’re buying it. Can I…?”
You bring your hands forward to gently rest on Rafe’s jaw, thumbs stroking over his cheekbones.
“You don’t have to ask,” he says with a subtly irritated shake of his head.
His hands are splayed over your thighs and your knees are pressed against his hips. It might be a good thing to get some practice with a guy you’re not really with. Affection won’t be as intimidating if you’ve already done it in a controlled setting.
Rafe waits for you to say something, to do something. Maybe you’ll break your ‘no kissing’ rule, even though now he’s pretty sure it’d be your first kiss.
“You know what?” you say gently.
He takes in the way your eyes travel over his face, and for a split second, it’s like you can see just how much he hides below the surface, like you’re going to keep digging until you find out what it is.
He nods once, silently beckoning you to continue.
“The next book on the syllabus is one of my favorites,” you say.
He smirks, relieved you’re joking instead of prying.
“This really is the type of shit you’d talk about with your boyfriend,” he realizes. He thought you were just nervously rambling the other night because you had nothing else to talk about, but he was wrong.
You purse your lips in thought, memories trickling in.
“Yeah,” you say, sadness clouding your features. “It’s one of the reasons I thought Beck liked me back. He liked to listen to me ramble about whatever I was reading. And he was interested. Or he acted like it. I really… I wish I could get over him.”
Rafe’s face falls again, confused over why a guy who did shit like that for years, who stared at you the way he did last night, pushed you away.
“I know,” is all he can offer, because he really does understand the desperation of wanting to feel whole again after somebody breaks you.
“Sorry to interrupt,” you hear.
You glance up to see Lyla, her eyes darting to where Rafe is standing between your legs. You almost want to pull away, explain that it’s not what it looks like, nearly forgetting that you’re supposed to be fooling her, too.
“Hey,” you say.
“You want to do a shot with me?” she asks.
“Sure.”
You grip Rafe’s shoulders and shift forward. His hands tighten on your hips and you gently drop to the ground, pressed against his body.
“I’ll find you later?” you ask him.
He leans down low again, his temple brushing against yours.
“Take it easy, lightweight,” he replies.
You look up at him with a big grin.
“What?” he mutters.
“You’re worrying about me,” you whisper. “We are friends.”
“Get out of here,” he sighs.
You laugh and squeeze his hand before you step aside.
════════
You meant to keep count of your drinks. You really did. But every drink was like a temporary antidote against the heartbreak that’s been haunting you, and before you knew it, you were drunker than you’ve ever been before.
The night slips in and out of focus. You’re laughing with Lyla, then you’re playing beer pong, then you’re looking for Rafe.
You find him in a pocket of the crowd standing with a few other hockey players, your mind and body dizzy and hot. You cover his hand with yours, gently tugging him closer.
“I came here to ask you something,” you mumble into his ear when he leans down, his cologne hitting you again. “And… I don’t remember what it was.”
He shakes his head disapprovingly. You were stone cold sober earlier in the kitchen, and now you’re plastered.
“I told you to take it easy,” he says.
“I thought I was. I’m usually very responsible.” You shift to meet his eyes. “You smell great, by the way.”
“Okay?” he replies stiffly.
“Are you always this bad at accepting compliments?” you ask.
He is, and he hates how quickly you figure this kind of stuff out about him.
“What do you want?”
You squint, looking out at the crowd as you attempt to put your fragmented thoughts together. You spot Lyla.
“Oh! Could you give me and Lyla a ride home?” you ask.
“Yeah,” he breathes. “I’m done here anyway.”
Just a few minutes ago, Rafe watched Emma leave the house with the same guy she was playing beer pong with. It screwed a hole into his chest and he’s been wanting to get the fuck out of here since.
════════
You crack open the window as Rafe drives away from the frat house. Lyla’s in the backseat, tapping on her phone.
He glares at the road. Who was that guy Emma left with? And how the hell does he stop giving a shit? Is he doomed to spend the rest of his life wishing he didn’t care about things as much as he does?
Thinking of her with him doesn’t bring up jealousy. It’s anger. Disappointment. Because he’s losing this game.
“Did you have a good time tonight?” you ask Rafe, the cool spring breeze pressing against your face.
He glances at you. Even though you hardly ever see eye-to-eye, you genuinely want to be kind to him, consoling him on the way to the party, paying him compliments when drunkenness took away your filter.
Despite how irritating it can be when you pry, you don’t do it out of malice. And you even cracked him up a few times tonight.
He decides to answer you honestly, to be nice like you told him to be, ignoring the discomfort.
“When I was with you, yeah,” he replies.
“Aww,” Lyla coos from behind you.
You smile, discreetly giving him a thumbs up for his performance. He means it, but he’ll let you believe he said it just because your friend’s listening.
════════
Lyla directs Rafe to the front doors of her dorm, and when she tries to say goodbye to you, she laughs once she realizes you dozed off.
“Thanks for the ride. I still don’t really get this,” she says to Rafe, pointing between you two, “but I can tell it works.”
He knows why it looks like that. It’s because, as much as Rafe didn’t expect it, you’re right. You two genuinely became friends at some point over the last three weeks.
The sound of Lyla shutting her door snaps you awake. You quickly gauge your surroundings, realizing you’re on the opposite end of campus by Lyla’s building. The athletes’ dorm is practically a ten second drive away and the route to your building will be a long detour for Rafe.
“Isn’t your dorm like, right next door?” you murmur.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll just sleep over,” you say in an exhausted daze. “So you don’t have to drive all the way to the other side of campus and back.”
It’s nearing two in the morning. Rafe just wants to be in his bed. So, he goes along with your idea.
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Your eyelids flutter open. You stare ahead to see a broad, bare back sitting at a desk. Then, you recognize the unkept dark hair you ran your fingers through last night, as well as your tabbed copy of Lost Horizon sitting on the dresser.
You’re in Rafe’s dorm room. In his bed. Your face buried in his pillow.
Last night flashes through your mind. You’d thoughtlessly suggested a sleepover. Rafe helped you out of the car and let you lean on him in the elevator and complained that you weren’t making enough space for him in his bed.
“I am so sorry,” you murmur.
Rafe turns around, taking out an earbud with an eyebrow raised.
“Finally awake?” he says.
Your chest stings and your stomach turns as you slowly sit up. You put your hand on your forehead, tangled up in his duvet, last night’s clothes tight and uncomfortable as you think back to how much you drank.
“I should’ve listened to you,” you murmur. “That was not taking it easy. I was stupid.”
“Thought that was a bad word.”
“It is,” you say with a pointed finger. “Thank you. It is.”
You finally look at him again. He’s in sweats, gray boxers peeking out the band, his muscular body curled over the chair. It’s unusual to see him like this; in his downtime, sitting at his desk, using his laptop, shirtless.
You’d felt his body against yours, felt the firmness of his muscles, but seeing him like this in broad daylight raises your pulse.
Rafe notices your gaze linger on his chest before you meet his eyes again. If he really is flustering you, it’s a good dose of payback, considering how he felt when you sat on his lap and played with his hair.
“What the hell did I drink last night?” you mumble.
“You tell me.”
He gazes at you as you try to remember. Even though it was snug sleeping next to you in his tiny single bed, it was nice to not spend a night on his own. He already knew he was lonely, but feeling you next to him, hearing your breath as he dozed off, showed him just how much.
“Shots? Beer? Something really sweet?”
“You mixed,” he realizes. “Bad move.”
“I feel like death,” you groan. “I’m going home now.”
You shuffle forward, your legs hanging over the edge of his bed. You slide off, briefly losing your balance before your feet touch the carpet.
You catch yourself, gripping his shoulder. He cups your wrist as you wobble. You pull your hand back and readjust your clothes, a wrinkled mess now, then pick your bag up off the floor, which you’re glad you thought to bring in your stupor.
“I’m sorry again. Thanks for… dealing with me,” you say quickly, smoothing back your hair. Rafe only smirks, entertained by how embarrassed you are. “I’m walking home because I might throw up and I don’t think we’re at the point where I can do that in front of you yet.”
“You already did.”
Your lips part in shock and he laughs.
“You’re kidding,” you realize. “I didn’t expect you to be a morning person.”
“I’m not.” He looks over at his laptop for the time. “It’s half past noon.”
You sigh in shame and make your way to the door.
“Hold on,” he says. You turn and almost miss the ball of fabric he throws towards you. When you hold it up and realize it’s one of his extra jerseys, you laugh.
“Wear it to the next game,” Rafe tells you.
“Good idea,” you say, imagining the way Emma, and hopefully Beck, will fume at the sight of you with Cameron across your back. “See you.”
You rush down the hallway, thrown out of your thoughts when you hear a loud click. Beck is unlocking his door a few feet ahead of you.
You internally groan. You feel awful and you’re sure you look it, too.
His eyes search your face, as if he doesn’t recognize you. On top of the embarrassment and anxiety you’re already feeling, the sight of him bombards you with the familiar pain of rejection.
“Hey,” you say with an awkward laugh. You need to act casual. You figure if you can pretend to like Rafe, you can pretend to not like Beck. “How’s it going?”
He looks past you, no doubt cluing in that you’re leaving Rafe’s dorm in last night’s clothes. You know what he’s going to think – you spent the night doing more than just sleeping. Suddenly, you’re glad you ran into him.
“Good,” he says absentmindedly. “You?”
“Good,” you reply, continuing to walk past him. Beck looks down, seemingly thrown off.
“I have to say…” He lets out a humorless chuckle. You stop and turn to look at him. “It’s kind of crazy that you’re hanging out with him.”
“Crazy?”
“He’s not really your type.”
Your heart hammers in your chest.
“What is my type?” you challenge.
Beck’s forehead crinkles in what you’d have to guess is disappointment. You swallow nervously. He could say so many things that would break your heart even more. And you hate that he has that much power over you.
“I just think he’s… intense,” he replies.
“I like intense,” you say.
Beck seems out of words. And as much as you want to stay, to ask what he’s thinking, you’re done waiting on bated breath for him, hoping he feels how you do when you share a private moment.
If you act like you’re not in love with him, your heart will eventually catch up. It has to.
“Nice to see you,” you say, carrying on towards the elevator. And walking away from him instead of the other way around for once gives you a newfound feeling of victory that you realize you really needed.
next >
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uhohdad · 11 months ago
Text
THE GIRL WHO CONQUERED THE MOUNTAIN
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KONIG X READER [HUNGER GAMES AU]
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You & Konig have been chosen to participate in a twenty-four tribute fight to the death.
18+, NSFW, 183k WORD COUNT, AO3,Virgin!Konig, Outcast!Konig, 18yo!Konig, GentleGiant!Konig, Mentor!JohnPrice, Fem!Reader, Blood & Injury, Graphic Violence, Death, PTSD, Alcohol Use, Slow Burn, Konig Pines Hard, Sexual Content, Porn with Too Much Plot, First Time, Dirty Talk, Size Kink, Smut, Fluff, Angst
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CHAPTER ONE | PREV | CHAPTER NAVIGATION
➤ THE AFTERMATH II
At the mention of District Eight, your mouth turns to cotton. Your wide eyes dart around the floor of the glittery stage, heels turning inward.
You don’t want to do this.
You give up and pinch your eyes shut, a slight shake of your head, trying to take yourself somewhere you’re not, even going so far as to redirect your focus to remembering the lyrics to an old tune you sing in your thoughts.
Konig senses something’s up and gently guides you into the crook of his arm and his chest, giving your shoulder a squeeze. He presses a kiss to the top of your head, and you respond by raising your hand to rest in the space between his firm stomach and chest.
You can’t block out their words, the commentary from the people of District Eight. Your heart doesn’t want to hear it but your ears can’t help but listen and your eyes have to peek open.
The recap of the interview clearly cut out a majority of their words, and starts with the conflict between the boy from eight and Willow. The interviewee tries to begin, but she abandons her first few attempts to recount the story.
“Uh-” The interviewee’s eyes dart to the side, “Yeah, they uh- there was-“
She clears her throat, “Willow, uh-“
She trails off, staring off into the distance with a pause before she continues.
“He had this girlfriend, right? And they were - I mean, they were the perfect pair. You could tell, uh, you could tell he really loved her, you know? And the same goes for her.”
The interviewee pauses, and she has to look away.
“I was actually- I remember being jealous of them, wishing I had what they had. Love like that.”
You can hear her scraping gravel under her shoe.
“And I guess, I guess his girl wasn’t crazy about the uhm, The Capitol, and she uh- well, I think she broke a few laws, or something. Real rebellious type.”
She looks to her shoes, nodding slowly.
“And uh,” She clears her throat again before meeting eyes with the person behind the camera, “Willow blabbed about it. And his girlfriend got taken away.”
The interviewee nods slow, her sad, squint eyes staring off at the cameraman.
“They cut out his girl’s tongue, and now she- she serves The Capitol.”
She shakes her head, “He snapped. Just, a different person entirely.”
There’s a pause, and your eyes pinch shut, squeezing Konig as hard as your arms will allow. His hand slides down your back, tracing soothing circles with his fingertips between your shoulder blades.
“Please, no! It was an accident!”
The desperation in her voice is unmistakable. You find the screen, and there she is.
Willow.
As pretty as her name - rich bronze skin and golden brown eyes. Full, curly hair that seems to have a mind of its own and reminds you of the elegant draped tresses of the tree for which she was named.
The boy from eight has her on the ground, towering over her with his blade raised. Her upper half is propped up by her elbows, her feet kicking away from him.
“You knew what you were doing!” He yells, in that same booming, terrifying voice he used on you.
His blade lowers as his fists tense at his sides, “She served us! You hear me? She served us in our suite!”
A hand comes up to his head, and he grabs a fistful of his own hair with white knuckles. There’s tears springing in his eyes, and that daunting shout cracks.
“I couldn’t even talk to her!”
Your brows are pinched as you watch, shallow breaths through parted lips.
The tears crest Eight’s eyeline, and his hands drop limply to his sides.
His voice lowers to a broken whisper, a whiny strain in his words. It makes your brows pinch - you’ve never heard him speak in a way that wasn’t harsh and booming, never seen his eyes swelled with any emotion other than anger.
“I couldn’t even talk to her.”
Willow shakes her head, her words choppy through her stuttered breaths and hiccups.
“I know- I know! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please, I didn’t- I never wanted this to happen, I didn’t mean for it to happen! Please-“
His voice shoots back up when he interrupts her, his shouted words ripping his throat to shreds.
“She’s gone, Willow! I lost her!”
He pinches his eyes for a moment, sending more tears down his cheeks, his chin lowering with a tilt of his head.
A snarl creases his face, brows tight when he finds Willow again. He jams his blade at her, his voice just a growl in her direction.
“And there is nothing you can say to change that.”
Willow just stares up at him with wide eyes, her entire body trembling. Her mouth is gaped to speak, but she knows she doesn’t have a defense.
“I am nothing without her.”
He steps closer to her, his boots planted on either side of her ribs. Just as he did with you, he grabs her by the front of her jacket and pulls her from the dirt, inches from his face.
“I am suffering! She is suffering! Everyday!”
He gives her that look, the same gut-churning look he had on reaping day when he threw himself on stage to volunteer.
“Now it’s your turn to suffer.”
The shot lingers on their faces for a few more moments, Willow’s golden brown eyes darting around his gut-churning rage, her breath caught in her throat.
They don’t show it.
You are so thankful they don’t show it.
They cut to you, walking through the forest. You have to close your eyes again, burying your face in Konig’s chest.
Your stomach boils and your heart constricts beyond comfort at each of her moaned wails. You’re clawing at Konig’s suit, a handful of the fabric shaking between your tensed fist.
Konig’s free hand comes up to swallow yours, a gentle reassurance from hardened hands.
Each of her maimed breaths violate you. The stage lights are searing your skin, sweat building up on your scalp and under your dress. The layer forming under your thick makeup is suffocating, aching for the touch of fresh air instead of the roasted stage air you breathe now.
Your eyes are screwed shut, but you can still see her, her exposed, bloody muscle rising and falling with her chest. The whitish yellow pockets of fat, the bones of her fingers, her blood-pooled eye sockets.
There’s a nauseating heat simmering just under your skin, and your breaths turn almost as guttural as hers.
Against every instinct, you have to rip away from Konig, not at all gracefully stumbling in your heels offstage.
“Oh, uh- technical difficulties, folks. Bear with us,” Caesar says cheekily, the audience’s collective chuckle laugh following.
You weren’t aiming for him, but Price catches you once offstage, sturdy arms pulling you into an embrace.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright, kid,” He whispers softly, “It’s alright.”
Your palms find his chest with a firm shove, freeing yourself from his hold. You swivel on your feet simultaneously, doubling over to vomit all over the floor, your bile splattering over Price’s shoes.
He doesn’t seem to mind, standing at your side and pulling your hair back from the line of fire as you heave in rhythmic convulses, struggling to work up what little is in your stomach.
“It’s alright,” Price soothes, holding your hair with one hand and rubbing your trembling back with the other, “It’s alright. Get it all out.”
You feel a second hand on your back, and you already know it’s Konig, standing tall on your other side.
A stage hand rolls over an industrial size trash can, and you grip the rim with white knuckles as you gag into it.
When you’re done spitting out the bitter, offensive taste, Konig has a cloth waiting for you to wipe your face. Exhausted breaths leave you, droplets of sweat trailing down your back and tears streaming over your cheeks.
Your arm stretches over the rim of the trash can as you lean over it, pinching your eyes shut to try to quell the nausea. Konig offers you a bottle of water, and shaking hands reach to take it gratefully.
They wait for you to collect yourself, someone gets you a toothbrush to clean out your mouth - apparently this kind of thing happens enough to warrant keeping toothbrushes on hand, - your prep team touches up your makeup, and Konig holds you wordlessly in his strong arms while you breathe him in, his silken tie brushing against your cheek.
When you’re ready, your fingers wrap around Konig’s bicep, his arm bent at the elbow to keep you steady as he escorts you back on stage, putting himself between you and the crowd to block you from the audience.
The crowd explodes at your return, a standing ovation that echoes with whistles and claps.
“Welcome back, welcome back!” Caesar chimes, dipping each syllable with flare.
The crowd keeps the applause going long after you’re sat, and once settled, Caesar segues back into the show.
You don’t watch, hiding your face in Konig’s chest as he holds you tight, gently stroking your back.
The feed resumes, and you hear your squeak through the speakers, your stumble and trip into the dirt. Your dash through the woods, your dry heaves towards the dirt.
Your desperate plea.
Luring Eight into the fall forest, almost killing him but bailing at the last second. Weakly running for Willow as you cry out to her in the tune of a desperate sorry, spoken exactly like her pleas to the boy who knew no bounds to his spite. Piercing a dart through her exposed muscle, her final three breaths, your sobbing as her cannon fires.
Konig’s grip on you loosens as he watches your mercy kill, his soothing rubs ceasing. He starts back up again when the footage pauses, but you can’t bring yourself to leave Konig’s chest.
The crowd erupts in a truly enthusiastic applause, shouting adorations in your direction as Konig squeezes you tight.
“Wow,” Caesar shouts over the crowd, “That was something!”
The audience ignores his attempt to settle them, showering you with praise for what must be a full minute while Konig rubs your back.
“That was really something,” Caesar says, “Wow, I have to say, that was really admirable.”
You say nothing, trying to block out Caesar and his stupid commentary.
“I must ask, have your feelings about your actions changed after learning of their history?”
Your brows pinch as your head lifts from Konig’s chest to find Caesar, your arms snug around Konig’s core.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Knowing what you know now, would you have still lended her a hand?”
The end of Caesar’s question perks up so innocently, as if he didn’t just ask the most insane question in the world.
Your face twists, “Of course I would have - what kind of question is that?”
You glare at him, voice taught and sharp.
“You think that I think that there’s anything in the world that justifies that?”
You shake your head.
“No, you’re out of your mind. I wouldn’t even wish that fate on someone sick enough to ask a question like that in the first place.”
Konig gives you a squeeze and a little shake to show you he’s on your side, sitting tall with his chest puffed out. The audience is on your side too, apparently, clapping along in approval.
Caesar breaks character for a moment as he flits his gaze between you and Konig, the latter surely dawning a just as loathsome stare. You hold Caesar’s eyes in challenge until he looks away.
You understand the boy from eight’s anger. If someone got Konig taken away to serve the Capitol, surely you’d be just as furious and hellbent on vengeance.
But Eight’s anger was misdirected.
While Willow blabbed, his anger was provoked by the Capitol, not by Willow.
The Capitol is the one who took his girlfriend away, cut out her tongue, and forced her to dote on her boyfriend, unable to speak with him - surely a calculated move to instigate more tension between the District Eight tributes. Willow was just the one who let it slip, intentional or not.
As fucked up as it sounds, though, you get it.
You get where Eight is coming from. There was no way for him to seek vengeance against a government that has the entire country under its strict thumb, so he took out his anger on the next best thing.
Nowhere near to the same extreme - but you’ve been in a similar position countless times before.
That day in District Nine was one of those days. A bad day riling you up, looking for a victim to boil over on. You’re not even sure if you stood up for Konig because it was the right thing to do, or because you were just looking for an outlet for anger you couldn’t direct elsewhere without severe consequence.
Deep down you know the answer, but you’re too cowardly to share it with anyone, especially Konig. He has you on a pedestal. He thinks of you as a true, selfless angel that protected him for no other reason than to do the right thing.
You really don’t want to ruin his perception of you.
But you know who you are.
“Well, more exciting things to come,” Caesar weakly chimes, looking to the floor as he clears his throat.
An arm comes up to gesture to the large screen.
“You bravely risked your life to end this girl’s suffering, my dear, and we have the footage to prove it.”
The replay resumes - cutting to a shot of the three remaining careers gliding over the snow as they make way towards the cornucopia.
“In and out,” Sapphire says to the group, “I don’t want to leave the woods for too long.”
“Not like she can leave,” Titan mumbles.
“If she got her hands on some supplies, she could.”
“Where would Funny Girl find supplies? We got ‘em all.”
“Gotten them off someone else.”
Titan scoffs, “You think Funny Girl’s killing?”
“She’s made it this far. Who knows.”
Titan laughs, “Funny Girl can’t fight. She’s just playing shy.”
“Lover Boy’s got his backpack,” Sapphire says, “If he found her, those two could go anywhere.”
“Well if he found her, it doesn’t really matter, does it?”
Sapphire just sighs, rolling her eyes. She doesn’t look good. Her face is puffy, bags under her eyes. You know a girl who’s too exhausted to argue when you see it. Clearly Titan’s attempt to get her to rest was unsuccessful.
“I’m sorry!”
The careers immediately perk up at your distant cry.
Titan’s mouth curls into a sickening grin, flashing his razor sharp canines, a giddy laugh threatening to spill from his lips.
Even in Sapphire’s exhaustion, her lips stretch in a smile, those brilliant blue eyes flickering with a spark of gut-churning determination.
“I’m sorry!”
Even from the distance, the desperation in your voice is unmistakable.
The career pack is in a full sprint to the direction of your broken, cried apology, hollering in celebration that their arduous hunt is coming to a conclusion.
As they burst through the trees, the shot cuts to you, running on weak ankles to the spring quadrant.
“There she is!”
Konig shoots forward in his chair, taking your arms with him and forcing you to leave his chest. His brows tighten as he plants his elbow on his knee, the pads of his fingers reaching up to gnaw on his nails.
Eight breaks into the clearing, making a beeline for the careers.
“What did you do?!” Eight shouts at them, barreling right for them with his blade raised. It’s clear now he thinks the careers killed Willow, not you.
The three prime their weapons and when Eight catches up, he’s already swinging.
“Titan - get the brat!” Sapphire shouts, her tone leaving no room for argument as she blocks one of Eight’s swings.
It’s as if Titan was a dog growling on the end of Sapphire’s taut leash, itching to be released so he can maul his target - and Sapphire just unclasped his collar. There is no transition between his stand to a full sprint, both his pace and his strides at least three times as quick as yours.
Konig’s fingers are digging into his knees hard enough to turn his knuckles white, on the edge of his seat and glued to the screen, not so much as blinking.
Titan catches up, powerful hold wrapping around your waist and slamming you into the sand hard enough to steal your breath.
Konig flinches in his seat, his lips parting and pulling to the side to reveal grit teeth. As he watches Titan toy with you, pinning you to the ground and reveling in the power he holds, Konig’s fists are clenched so tight they’re shaking. Resting a gentle hand on his forearm does nothing to placate him - he’s locked on the screen.
“Why don’t you yell for him?”
“Fuck you!”
Really not your best comeback, but to be fair to you, you were running on steam and also thought you were about to die.
When Titan’s hand shoots out to choke you, Konig springs up from his seat and rips away from your hold on him.
He can’t watch anymore, turning to face the couch, his face pinched and a hand threading his hair with a tight grip.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” You whisper, reaching out to grab the rigid hand at his side.
“No,” He grits through strained breath.
He can’t look at you, the sounds of your desperate chokes for air blaring from the speakers and suffocating him second hand.
“It is, it’s okay,” You say with sloped brows, “I’m fine. I’m okay, it’s okay. He’s dead.”
It’s almost funny, Konig is so concerned with your fight with Titan - when it pales in comparison to the rest of your arena experiences.
Even the cold of the freezing nights in the forest were worse than this.
A gory bloodbath, the snap of a neck, a first hand lesson on the anatomy of the human muscular system, blinding and skewering Sapphire, Konig beating Titan to death with his own two hands - these are the moments that truly haunt you.
You give Konig’s trembling hand a squeeze. He doesn’t speak, he just shakes his head.
“Call for him!”
On screen you’re gasping for air, Titan forcing his demands through his clenched teeth.
The feed pauses, the crowd silent as Caesar starts.
“Konig, it’s clear this is upsetting for you to watch, mind sharing your thoughts?”
Konig’s eyes crease when he closes them, his free fist tight at his side. He doesn’t turn around, his shoulders raised.
“Hey, Caesar,” he grits.
Konig takes a breath.
“Shut the fuck up.”
You jump to your feet as the crowd erupts, both your arms shooting up in the air and taking one of Konig’s hands with you.
“Yes! Yes!”
You practically order the crowd to shower him in praise, waving your hands to beckon them to keep it up. You let go of Konig’s hand to grab his tensed arm and give him an excited, proud shake. He rolls his eyes, a half grin blooming on his face as he turns pliant to your jostling.
“Right,” Caesar says, clearing his throat and looking down.
They resume the feed, and you give Konig’s suit a tug, beckoning him to sit with you.
“Watch this part,” You whisper.
He finally looks to you, giving a swallow as he follows your wish.
“Call for him or I’ll make you!”
On screen - your spit-stained face pinches, and you send two fistfuls of sand directly into Titan’s face.
The audience explodes at your escape maneuver, and Konig hums at Titan’s cries of pain, giving that soft inaudible laugh that raises his shoulders. He looks to you, eyes crinkled with a pressed grin. He grabs a shoulder and rests his other hand on the crook of your neck, leaning down to press a long, messy kiss on your lips.
You hum into him, the crowd still cheering when he pulls you into him with an arm slung over your shoulder, squeezing your bicep.
“Wow, wow, wow!” Caesar says after the audience has settled, “Escaping the hands of such a powerful career - I think you managed to surprise every citizen of Panem!”
The audience gives a hearty applause in approval. Caesar leans in, voice suddenly serious.
“And I think we were all very, very touched to see you risk your life to keep Konig out of danger.”
Your brows crease as you turn to the audience, clapping in approval.
It takes you a moment to realize that Panem thinks you refrained from calling Konig’s name for his benefit, to keep him safe from Titan, which isn’t true at all.
You just didn’t want to submit to Titan’s demands, didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of fulfilling his plan, didn’t want to give him whatever scrap of dignity you had left. It was a move of spite against Titan, not of care for Konig.
Guilt.
You have to look down at your lap as you try to swallow it - because saving Konig from Titan was not a thought that even crossed your mind.
You couldn’t even think of Konig when you knew Titan wanted to kill him. Konig, the boy who killed Titan with his two hands for even daring to lay a hand on you.
Konig squeezes you tight and plants a kiss on your forehead, the audience cooing at his adoration for you.
Guilt.
When your unearned praise dies down, Caesar continues.
“It’s truly beautiful what you two have.”
You don’t care, Caesar.
You don’t care what anyone in the Capitol thinks of you and Konig. You wish your relationship wasn’t able to be perceived at all, actually - not out of shame, but because you hate how everyone in Panem has their grubby little hands all over your romance, something so personal and intimate and fresh to you.
The people of Panem have had more time to process your new relationship than you have.
The feed shows you collapsing into the grass, cutting to the part where District Eight sent you the bread, eventually showing you picking up the ribbon, tying it around your wrist.
“I have to ask, my dear,” Caesar says, “You’ve mentioned that the ribbon means a lot to you, can you share with us the significance of this ribbon?”
To be honest, you really don’t have a reason for why you kept the ribbon, or why it means so much to you. You just know it does.
You know it’s symbolic, but for what?
Is it a reminder of Willow, the girl you feel an immense connection to, even though you just assigned her name to her less than an hour ago and never shared a word with?
Is it the unification of two districts forced to be pit against each other?
Is it because it is a token of the district who went against all the standards to thank a girl who treated their tribute with human decency - the opposite of what the games are about?
Why does this ribbon mean so much to you?
You really don’t know. But you do know you can’t be snarky here - this moment is important, and you need to get this right.
Your mouth has gone dry again, and you look to your lap.
“I- uh-“
You clear your throat, and Konig gives you a squeeze.
“It just does,” You say, not harshly, but genuinely.
You turn your head to find a camera and speak into it. You’re talking to District Eight now, not the audience, not to Caesar.
“I don’t know why it means so much to me, but I know that I am grateful for the gifts. I am grateful that you helped me put an end to her suffering.”
Your voice cracks.
“And I am sorry for your loss.”
The audience gives a soft applause, and you have to look down at your lap again.
“Wow,” Caesar says, his voice gentle, “Beautifully spoken.”
He’s so full of shit, it actually makes you scoff.
You know your words aren’t striking the proper emotion, because you haven’t even had the opportunity to digest them yourself. To assign words to the attachment you have to your ribbon, to your feelings about Willow, Eight, his girlfriend, about his unwavering dedication and her brutal end and a district who thanked you for making a life-threatening sacrifice.
“Enough about you, my dear, let’s take a look at what Konig was up to in the meantime.”
Eight’s cannon woke him up with a start, a cloud of sand wafting up with him as he shoots to a sit. A hand comes up to his hood, and he lets out a long sigh.
Just by looking at his eyes through his hood, you can tell it’s all catching up with him. The restless nights, his aching body, the instinctual fear.
The jump the sun makes when the feed cuts suggests he laid unmoving in the sand for hours. Price caves once again, sending him food and water.
When he finally gets to his feet, he makes slow, unsteady steps through the desert. To see him so weakened makes your heart throb in your chest, because it reminds you of the last time you saw him stumble, the last time you saw him drained of life.
You swallow, looking down to your fidgeting fingers, smoothing along the pleats of your dress.
It’s your turn to wish you could have been there for him. You get it now, how hard it is knowing the one you love struggled and you were useless to help.
Konig’s eyes are drowsy, his steps sluggish, even with One’s shoe attachments.
Next to you on the couch, all of Panem watching him in this state, Konig’s head is hung, looking to his shoes in shame, the pads of fingers swirling together.
You nuzzle your head into his shoulder and give him a squeeze.
I’m here now.
The effects of the spiky plants in the desert, cacti as Caesar calls them, were severely downplayed by Konig.
Konig trips over his own boot and falls forward, weak hands shooting out to brace himself, his palm catching a handful of needles. He winces, a strangled grunt leaving him as he rips his hand back to his chest.
He rolls over in the sand, propping himself up on his backpack to inspect his palm. Tiny beads of blood smear between his skin and the perforated temperature suit.
He lets out a grunt of defeat and throws his arm to the sand. His breaths are heaved, his chest struggling to work in breaths, eyes pinching shut behind his hood.
When he brings his hand to his face again, it’s swollen and as black as the ooze that dripped from the ginkgo petals and swallowed you whole during your hallucinations. The color soaks into his veins and up his forearm in inky streaks.
He lets out a strained whine, his other hand trembling as he goes in to touch the source of the wound. The gentlest touch has him wailing out in pain, his cries tighten your chest and wring your heart out.
He lies on the desert sand, his infection getting worse by the second. It spreads up his bicep, swallowing his entire arm until he can’t even move it. He’s crying, but the tears that spill from his eyes are not normal tears. Whatever is dripping from his eyes is bleaching his hood, streaks of color pulling up on the black fabric.
The infection creeps up his shoulders, his collarbones, sucking what little strength he has left from him.
He’s given up.
You can see it, in his eyes. He knows he’s about to die.
“Just tell her I love her,” He whispers to the arid desert air, his voice hoarse and barely loud enough to carry, “Just make sure she knows I love her.”
A shaky finger comes up to swipe away the tears threatening to spill from your eyeline, but you are powerless against the squeak that leaves the back of your throat.
You can practically hear Price’s eye roll from the mentor’s suite, and before the infection can spread to his other arm, a parachute comes down from the sky and lands inches from him.
He’s so weak he can hardly get the canister open. Grunting and hitting it against the sand in frustration. His shaking fingers pop it open to reveal a small syringe filled with a clear liquid, a tiny needle at the end.
Konig lets out another grunt as he jams the needle into his dead bicep, and shortly after succumbs to either exhaustion or the pain, maybe both, and passes out propped up on his backpack.
“That looked pretty painful,” Caesar says, “How do you feel after overcoming such adversity?”
Konig shrugs his shoulders at him, a slight shake in his head and lips bunched in annoyance.
Caesar directs the question to you, and you can’t bite your tongue.
“How do I feel after watching Konig nearly die from a cacti?”
“Cactus.”
You pause, narrowing your eyes at Caesar and offering an obnoxious suck of your teeth.
“Cact-you,” You say.
You and Caesar stay locked on each other for a moment before you shrug.
“Feels great, Caesar.”
The audience seems to find your annoyance and sarcasm amusing.
“Well, the fun doesn’t stop there,” Caesar says, “Looks like you woke up to some trouble too.”
Konig’s eyes roll, and the feed resumes.
You had not encountered any mutts in the arena, but Konig was not as lucky.
He wakes long after the sun has gone down to find himself surrounded.
Genetically modified scorpions, ten to twenty of them, the size of large dogs and equipped with bulbous tails that taper into razor sharp hooks. Exoskeletons designed to be nearly impenetrable, serrated claws itching to tear apart flesh.
Konig’s mumbling curses under his breath, springing to weak legs, stumbling through the sand. The scorpions hiss at him, curling their wicked tails, as if beckoning him to come closer.
Konig’s head is ducked, body low as he swivels on his feet, the handle of Eleven’s scythe in a tight grip at his side.
His mind has drawn a blank - he’s panicking.
They close in on him, their spider-like legs dancing over the sand as they hiss at him, snapping their claws and curling their tails.
His darting eyes stop on the cactus, and he’s got it.
There’s no hesitation, his arm winds back entirely, using all of his strength to cut clean through the base. Ten feet of poisonous spikes comes crashing down, a flood of pulpy water pouring at Konig’s feet. It lands on one of the scorpions, giving him a break in the circle of mutts to make his escape.
When one of the scorpions cries out, both you and Konig freeze, shoulders tensed on the couch.
It’s your voice.
Your haunting wails recorded during your nightmares, crying out Konig’s name.
On screen, Konig whips his head around, stumbling on the sand as he looks in the direction of your cry. He trips, his hands springing up to brace himself before he hits the ground.
The nearest scorpion closes in on him, and shortly after Konig’s back on his feet and working up to a sprint, the mutt’s serrated claws snap at and tear through the flesh of his calf. Your brows slope at Konig’s cry of pain, your hand coming up to your racing heart.
He’s limping through the desert now, blood gushing down the back of his leg and splattering on the grains of sand.
The scorpions are following him, not struggling to keep up now that he’s injured.
All of them, crying out in your voice, crying out his name, scared and pleading, desperate and helpless. Both on screen and now, Konig’s hands shoot up to his ears to block out the overlapping wails.
He’s curled up next to you on the couch as you rub your palm over his button down and tie.
“Hey, hey it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m fine, it was just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare.”
“No,” He objects through a grit, his eyes pinching shut.
“Don’t listen to it, just listen to me. I’m fine, it was just a nightmare. I’m okay, I’m right here.”
He throws himself into your arms, wrapping around you and squeezing hard enough to steal your breath, his stubble scraping against you as he buries his face into your neck.
You rub his back, looking over his head to watch the screen over his shoulder.
He straggles through the desert, his leg threatening to give out under the pain of each stride, but he doesn’t stop. He’s scrambling to get away from your cries.
This is when he finds the oasis. The scorpions stop at what appears to be an invisible circle of safety looping the ring of trees. Konig doesn’t look back until he’s in the middle of the pool of water, until the waterfall drowns out the scorpion’s cries. He’s heaving and struggling to stay afloat with his injury and the weight of his soaked backpack. He rips off his hood, pulling in deep breaths of air as he flails.
Once the scorpions lose interest, he swims to where his toes can touch, taking a moment to catch his breath.
He lets out a cry, loud and unrestrained - not from pain, no, this is a cry of pure frustration, the cry of a boy pushed to his limit. He shakes his head, his hair sending water droplets flinging in all directions, fists splashing in the water as he tries to work out the emotions suffocating him.
Konig is still in your arms and avoiding the screen, sunk in on himself, a hand coming up to cover his red face.
You’re not judging him. You get it. In fact, you just threw a nationwide temper tantrum in front of all of Panem. Basically challenged the whole country with a one-girl rebellion because you thought he was dead.
Oh, shit.
He thought you were dead.
Neither of you watched the faces of the fallen, you because you didn’t want to see Willow’s face and him because he’d passed out after the cactus. Surely he thought those screams were recorded not during a nightmare, but during your brutal end. A brutal end where you screamed and cried and pleaded for Konig’s help, and he failed to save you.
When enough time has passed and he deems it safe, Konig drags himself to shore and lies defeated in the wet sand, deep, brilliant red oozing generously from his calf. Tears stream down his puffy, pale face, his breaths choppy and his chest stuttering.
The sight is enough to bring tears in your eyes, your lower lip pulling between your teeth.
You squeeze Konig tight, the hand you rest on his back raising to scratch his scalp and simultaneously shield him from the world.
On screen, Konig digs into One’s soaked backpack, and retrieves the canister of medicine to tend to his wound.
The feed pauses, and you give Caesar a look that would have made a king’s knees buckle.
‘Try it, Caesar. If you even dare utter a word in his direction, I will grab you by your ponytail and beat your ass in front of all of Panem.’
He receives the message loud and clear, and speaks into the audience while you scratch Konig’s hair, cooing reassurance into his ear in between soft kisses on his head.
Caesar rambles on about Konig’s escape maneuver, praising the design of the scorpions, going on about how your screams were just such a heart wrenching thing for Konig to endure.
When the feed resumes, Konig’s wound is tended to, his face no longer pained, but hollow. He just lies face up in the sand, bags under his eyes and gaze fixed to the night sky. Numb, motionless.
Tired.
Tears stream down his temples, and he has no motivation to wipe them away. He gets no rest the night before the finale.
Just lies in the sand, unmoving.
Price caves and sends him more food, hoping that he’ll eat without the arduous task of fishing or scavenging, but he doesn’t eat.
The feed cuts, skipping to when he finally finds the will to move.
You know it well.
The rage, he’s using his anger to push through, to survive. It shows in every movement he makes, too forceful and aggressive. Yanking and slamming and grunting through grit teeth at everything he comes in contact with. It’s a stark contrast to his usually reserved demeanor.
Weirdly, it’s working for you.
Which does make you feel bad, since he’s clearly in distress, both on screen and now, but you can’t help it. Those seething hormones that don’t know their place.
The feed pauses, and Caesar makes his stupid little commentary.
“Now, this next part here, we really get to see some action from Konig.”
The feed resumes, having cut to morning. Konig has left the oasis, heading back to the heart of the arena with forceful steps.
“Please don’t watch,” Konig mutters into your neck, his words just a low vibration against your skin.
Your brows pinch and your lips part, pausing your soothing rubs.
“Okay,” You whisper. You rest your cheek on his head and close your eyes, starting up the back rubs again. He squeezes you a little tighter, nestling into you, his shaky breaths tickling the skin of your neck.
You have to watch.
Your eyes instinctually open at the sound of Konig in conflict, and once they’re on screen you can’t bring yourself to rip them away.
The boy from Four, one of the particularly bigger volunteer tributes, holds out his arms, inviting Konig to a confrontation. He eggs him on with some taunts, and Konig doesn’t so much break his pace.
You already know the ending, not just because Konig is sitting right next to you, a victor, but because the boy from four is decked head to toe in the gear Konig wore at the finale.
It does not deter Konig. He doesn’t evade. In fact, he seems almost eager to fight, picking up into a run.
Konig rams his shoulder square into his front, entirely ignoring the knife that slashes into his bicep. Four is knocked back into the sand, the impact stealing the breath from him.
With each hit Konig lands to Four’s face, Titan’s caved-in head pulses in front of your eyes.
Konig pulls away from your embrace to look up at you, his brows sloped, a glint of betrayal in those worried eyes. Your lips part to give him an apology for watching, but you can get the words out. Between flashes of Titan steadily turned to pulp, choking the breath from you beyond the grave, it takes you right back to the last time Konig looked at you in betrayal, pale and almost entirely drained of life.
The nausea is bubbling up again, and you have to pinch your eyes shut. You blindly nudge into him, burying your face in his shoulder while you try to block everything out.
You don’t watch, but you know Four didn’t die. His cannon doesn’t go off, only knocked unconscious and injured at Konig’s hand.
When you find the screen again, Konig’s wearing Four’s gear back at the oasis, his bicep fully healed. He’s propped up against a tree, his knees pulled to his chest, head in his hands, staring blankly at the sand.
The feed pauses, and Caesar starts up.
“I have to know, Konig, what were you feeling in this moment?”
Konig loosens the embrace and finds Caesar. He shrugs, and says nothing.
“Well then. Let’s take a break from the intense stuff, and let’s see what our lovely lady was doing in the meantime.”
You roll your eyes, and the audience gushes over your crown of petals, your tiny snow-family.
Konig seems to find it endearing, too. He relaxes a bit in your hold, a soft hum vibrating your skin as you scratch his hair.
“Now,” Caesar says, “Before we get into a truly spectacular finale, I’d like to bring someone on stage for a chat.”
As you and Konig sit straight, the crowd whispers to themselves as they try and guess who it is.
“The man who pulled off the impossible, the mastermind behind it all, Mentor - John - Price!”
The crowd explodes into applause, and you turn your head to watch Price walk out on stage, waving a hand loosely at the crowd.
You’re incredibly relieved to see him, actually. It’s clear that you and Konig are entirely lost on this couch, and Price’s experience and his ever-sturdy nature will surely be a crutch for you both. You’re hoping he’ll take the spotlight off of you and Konig for a while.
Before Price sits, he leans down and simultaneously ruffles both you and Konig’s hair with a chuckle.
“How’s my poker face?” He asks with a laugh.
You and Konig sputter, rolling your eyes at him, but you can’t help the half-grin that peeks through.
Price takes a seat on the sofa next to you, giving you a hearty pat on the back before he slings his arms over either side of the back of the couch.
“Wow, wow, wow!” Caesar exclaims, “What an honor it is to have you with us today. You truly pulled off the strategy of the century!”
Price gives a single nod, a raise of his brows that hardens the lines on his forehead.
“Tell us, how did you come up with such a plan?”
Price scratches his temple and gives a light grunt before he gestures to Konig.
“Boy liked the girl. Practically did the work for me.”
The audience laughs as Konig’s hand comes up to rub the back of his neck.
Caesar crosses his legs and leans in, “And at what point did you realize Konig was in love with her?”
Price snorts, a small sly smile on his face.
“Took me about an hour.”
The audience laughs as Konig turns pink at your side. Your cheeks flush with heat as well, once again embarrassed it took you so long to notice the obvious.
You were under a lot of pressure, okay?
“For those of us who don’t know, I’d like to take the opportunity to revisit your victory.”
Price just grunts, and you and Konig look to each other with furrowed brows.
The thought hadn’t even crossed your mind - what Price’s games looked like. How he pulled off a feat that no one from District Nine but you and Konig have been able to recreate since.
Judging by the look on Konig’s face, this is the first time he’s considered it too.
Instantly you’re aching to know.
They start with the reaping of the girl tribute from District Nine, a girl named Summer. She’s average in stature, a headful of wavy, miskept hair frames her face.
For a moment, she is stunned, jaw tight and a slight sway in her feet. Round, deep brown eyes are fully blown, staring straight ahead.
She blinks twice, and her face relaxes, a scoff from lips that pull into a devilish smile. Her eyes roll as she elbows her way through the crowd, striding up to stage before the peacekeepers can even get their hands on her.
Summer hauls herself up on stage and rips the microphone from the escort’s hands. Her arm extends, swatting away the escort’s attempts to take back the microphone by alternating planting her palm into her face and chest. Their mild altercation broadcasts over the speakers - grunts, hissed demands, and almost comical shrieks of mic feedback.
Eventually the escort gives up with a grunt of annoyance.
Summer’s laugh echoes throughout the speakers, and she takes a few slow, bouncing strides across the stage, her back sloped in an irreverent lean, strolling leisurely in front of the crowd. She throws her free arm into the air and lets out a sharp ‘Wooo!’
“I just want to say, I mean - what an honor it is to be the tribute of District Nine.”
Her sarcasm slips from her tongue like it’s her native language, her body slack and dipping a shoulder towards the crowd.
“Truly!” She laughs again, spinning on light feet, projecting faux verve, “It is such an honor to sacrifice the wonderful life the Capitol has graciously offered me so far.”
The escort approaches and tries to swipe for the microphone again, but Summer’s shin catches across the escort’s ankles mid-stride, causing her to trip and crash to the ground with a ridiculously dramatic cry.
The crowd actually laughs at this, which is jarring, because no one ever laughs at a reaping.
Summer ignores the escort's aggravated chirping as she continues with a wide smile.
“A life of harvesting grain on an empty stomach, I mean, I really am giving up something special, aren’t I folks?”
Summer laughs again, but it’s interrupted by a shout in the crowd.
“I volunteer!”
Summer’s face falls at once, her jaw tightening. Her lighthearted, sarcastic tone sheds the moment she hears the voice.
“No!” She objects, shaking her head and pointing into the crowd, “No he doesn’t!”
The camera finds the source of the disruption, shoving his way through the crowd with familiar sturdy arms.
Price volunteered.
Your brows furrow, your head turning to find Price on the couch next to you.
He doesn’t look at you. He keeps his eyes on the screen, but you know he can feel your stare. His jaw cocks, his lips fold in, and he gives a nearly indistinguishable nod.
“Johnny!” Summer grits, her tone that of a parent pushed to her limit as they scold a misbehaving child, “Get back in the crowd, you fucking moron!”
Price trips over himself as he makes his way to her. He tries to crawl up the middle of the stage, but Summer sticks her foot out, pressing the sole of her shoe to his chest to keep him from pulling himself up.
“Stop it! Get back!” She grunts, but his sturdy arms pull themselves up to stage regardless of her shoves and objections.
Summer drops the microphone, the entire audience jumping at the ear-piercing thud that echoes through the speakers. She puts her hands on his shoulders, and for a moment the two wrestle as she froths at him.
“Take it back! Take it back!”
The peacekeepers intervene and rip the two apart, dragging them back with tight grips on the crook of their elbows.
Price isn’t fighting the peacekeeper’s hold, but Summer’s kicking her feet, thrashing ruthlessly against the restraint. Her words are slathered with fury, loud enough for the back of the crowd to hear even without the microphone.
“You fucking idiot, Johnny! What did you do?! What did you do?! You killed yourself, Johnny! You killed yourself!”
Price is panting, chest heaving as his bright blue eyes soak in her rage.
When the escort finally restores order, she has the two shake hands. Summer doesn’t take her glare off Price the entire time. She practically smacks his hand, squeezing him with a deathly grip, a twist in her lips as she grumbles under her breath. Price just swallows, staring at her with sad eyes as he lets her assault his hand.
You hate to admit it, the thought itself making your stomach turn, but Price was kind of good-looking at your age.
While his blue eyes are still hooded, they’re not narrowed into his constant squint. Distressed in this moment, but overall his eyes are brighter, wider, full of life. His face isn’t harshened with fine lines, and instead of the intense facial hair he wears now, he only has faint stubble along his jaw. Price is strong as you know him, but his younger self seems to be entirely fit, a young man primed with youth and strengthened from a life of fieldwork.
The year Price competed in the games, the arena was truly foreign, you don’t recognize a single plant or tree that makes up the lush jungle. The trees fork in odd places, their leaves awkwardly fanned. A few are reminiscent of the trees you saw at the oasis, puffs of leaves only at the very top of their branches, but even that comparison is a stretch. Some of the flora carry leaves bigger than your entire body. Plants that you’d describe as large ferns swallow the jungle floor, camouflaging only a few feet into the tree line. Massive bones scatter the jungle, bones much larger than any animal you’ve ever seen. In many places the jungle drops off into truly stunning valleys teeming with huge, thick-stemmed flowers. Rivers carve out the land, sidewinding through the valleys.
A Jurassic landscape, they call it.
Price and Summer are locked onto each other the entirety of the countdown. When the gong sounds, they don’t hesitate to dart for each other, each of them working up to a full sprint the moment their boots leave the pedestals. They link hands at the center of the brutal bloodbath, blind to the gory altercations surrounding them. As soon as their hands are locked they make a run for the jungle, quickly disappearing into thick foliage.
They skip a lot of the games, and show the particularly exciting moments Price and Summer went through.
For the circumstances, the tone between them is light, smiling and joking as they dredge through the jungle. They’re playing a game to see who can catch the insides of a jungle nut in their mouth from the highest toss straight up in the air.
Price, leading the way, gets stuck mid-stride, as if his boot had been glued to the jungle floor. He looks down, and immediately his palms shoot out to shove Summer back in the dirt.
“What-”
Summer’s eyes widen when she sees the pit of thick sand swallowing Price’s boots.
Price panics, jerking his legs to free himself, but it’s only making it worse. The more he thrashes, the quicker the pool of sand climbs up his legs. Summer curses, kicking to her feet and stepping to the edge of the pit.
“Stop!” She yells, her fingers a blur as she shakes her palms at him, “Stop moving, Johnny! Grab my hand!”
He stills as he looks at her, heavy breaths leaving parted lips and wide eyes pooled with fear. His knuckles turn white the moment he latches to her wrists.
Summer grunts through clenched, bared teeth and leans back, every muscle shaking as her entire body weight pulls on his arms. The heels of her boots dig into the jungle floor, but Price doesn’t budge.
“Ow, ow!” He yells, “Gonna break my arms!”
“Oh, is that a worse alternative to dying?!” Summer spits.
“Save now, fight later!” He grunts.
“Just- stay still!” She says, eyes frantically darting around.
She locks onto one of the trees, a nearly matured sapling with a long, skinny, branchless trunk that stretches well above Summer’s head.
“Got it, I fucking got it, Johnny!” She shouts with excited revelation, giving herself a running start before she jumps up to grab the trunk as high as she can. Her legs fold around the tree, climbing hand over hand to shimmy herself up. When the sapling begins to curl, she jerks her body weight in the direction of Price, unwrapping her legs and dangling off the trunk until the tip of her toes touch the ground.
“Grab it!” Summer hisses, a grunt caught in the back of her throat as she holds down the spring-loaded tree.
Price, now submerged to his diaphragm, scrambles for the sapling, his arms getting lost in the sprouts of leaves at the very top of the odd tree.
“Got it!”
“Hang on tight!” She hisses before releasing the tree, falling backwards into the dirt.
The tree springs up a few feet in the absence of her weight and yanks Price from the sand to his mid-thigh. Summer’s already on her feet, scrambling to the edge of the pit to wrap her arms around Price’s core, yanking to help work him free as he climbs up the sapling with shaking arms.
Once the sand spits out the tops of his boots, he pops free, the tree slingshotting back into place and almost taking him with it. He’s dragged into Summer, both of them crashing to the ground with a thud.
Summer’s eyes pinch shut and she lets out a drawn-out, low groan under his weight.
Price heaves a breathless, relieved laugh, planting his palms in the dirt to prop himself up, smiling down at Summer.
“So,” Price says in between heavy breaths, “Want to finish that fight?”
Summer gives an amused hum behind a grin, her eyelids fluttering. She snatches him by the collar of his shirt with two fingers and pulls him in until his face is inches from hers. A sly grin spreads thick on her face, voice low and as smooth as silk.
“Kiss first, fight later.”
“Deal.”
When Summer closes the gap and plants a long kiss on his lips, you have to look down at your lap, swallowing around the lump in your throat.
Because you already know how this one ends.
The feed cuts to a shot of Summer and Price at the border of the jungle, a rock ledge next to a fifty-foot cliff overlooking a truly gorgeous valley. They’re both inspecting bushes of fruit, none of which you recognize.
“I don’t know, if I had to place my bets, I’m going with this weird one,” Summer says as she pats a fruit the size of her head, its skin a deep purple and knotted with bumps.
“Really?” Price asks, tucking his walking stick into his armpit, “Betting your life on the weird one?”
“That’s rich, coming from you,” Summer digs with a teasing, but slightly pointed tongue.
Price huffs, lacking defense.
He inspects a curved, green fruit the size of his hand, running his thumb along its grains.
“I like this one,” He says, “Got a good feel to it.”
Summer narrows her eyes at him, that sly grin making a reappearance.
“I’ll test yours if you test mine,” She goads.
Price lets out a huff, “Alright, fine. Loser dies.”
“Deal.”
They switch fruits, and dig in.
“Oh, that’s it,” Summer says with a groan, “Good pick, Johnny.”
Price speaks through a mouthful, juice dripping down his chin and staining his chin maroon.
“Can’t say, I’m hungry enough to think dirt tastes good.”
He takes another bite, sucking out the fruit’s insides.
“Johnny,” Summer says carefully.
“No, no, it’s good,” He reassures her, one of his palms blindly gesturing in her direction.
“Johnny,” Summer repeats, her voice low with a slight waver stitched in.
“Yeah?”
Price licks his fingers, and turns to Summer when he doesn’t get an answer.
“Oh, f-!” Price springs to his feet, stumbling backwards with a flail.
“Sh, sh, sh!” Summer hushes with a soft wince, “Just be calm - Don’t freak out.”
A massive snake with a head the size of a loaf of bread, a body as thick as a tree trunk, has crept from a tree above the fruit bushes. Its scales slide around the back of Summer’s neck, slithering leisurely down her shoulder and her front.
“What do I do?!” Price whispers frantically.
“Relax,” The word rides one of Summer’s exhales as she closes her eyes.
You’re not sure if she’s talking to herself or Price.
“Just let me think,” She says quietly.
The python moves slow, snaking around her core like a sash, wrinkling the fabric of her shirt as it curiously explores her.
Summer’s face pinches - she’s trying to come up with a plan but her focus is split between steadying the rise and fall of her chest and keeping herself from panicking.
“So cold,” Summer whispers under her breath as she suppresses a shiver, “Feels so fucking weird.”
Price takes a few slow steps forward, arms puffed out at his sides and his back hunched over.
“Johnny,” Summer warns.
Price lowers himself to a squat, picking up the purple fruit with careful hands.
“Johnny,” Summer tries again with a draw, but with concern to angering the snake coiling around her, her voice isn’t as forceful as she would have liked it to be.
His brows furrow, and a hand comes up with a wave of annoyance.
“I got it, Trouble.”
Price gets his boots in front of her crossed legs, leaning down and carefully extending the fruit in the direction of the snake’s face.
“What are you doing?” Summer grits.
Price ignores her, cooing to the snake.
“Oh, what’s this?” He says softly, animated and affectionate, the way one would speak to a beloved pet.
The snake’s tongue flicks out, it’s head perking up from Summer’s thigh.
“Yeah, buddy, check this out,” Price coos, “You don’t want her, you want this thing.”
“Run, Johnny,” Summer hisses through clenched teeth.
“Smells good, don’t it?” Price says to the snake, ignoring Summer’s demands.
The snake’s tongue flicks from its mouth furiously, hunting down the fresh, pungent scent of the purple fruit, juice still dripping from the taken bite.
The snake double back on itself, peeling back from Summer’s stomach, and Price gives a drawn out, low, “Yeah-heh-heah.”
Price takes careful steps, shifting to Summer’s side, delicately guiding the snake to unwrap from her core.
Price chuckles, “That’s it.”
When the snake is only draped over her shoulders, Price grits to Summer.
“Run, Trouble, Run!”
With a grunt, Summer shoves the snake from her shoulders to get away from its slimy scales.
The snake did not like this maneuver one bit.
With a deafening hiss, another fifteen feet of tail whips from the jungle, the end coiling around Summer’s ankle in less than a second, pulling her foot out from under her. Summer slams face first into the ground, busting her chin open on the rock ledge.
At the same time, the snake’s jaw unhinges, its lips peeling open well below where the corner of its mouth should be, parting down the sides of its body to reveal an opening large enough to effortlessly swallow a full grown man whole with one bite. Its razor sharp fangs start at a size you’d expect at the front of its mouth, and increase in size down its unfurled body until they’re as big as Price’s forearm.
Price screams as he stares into the snake’s gaped innards displayed in clear threat while Summer desperately claws at plants on the jungle floor. Her shirt bunching up her torso as she’s dragged on her front by the snake’s tail. Price flings himself back when the snake’s uncanny mouth closes with a snap like a whip in his direction. Summer flips over on her front, folding her core to peel the tail from her ankle, but she’s no match for its deadly grip.
As Price moves away, Summer is effortlessly lifted from the ground, flailing her limbs once airborne. The snake fully unfurls its mouth towards the sky, its tail curling to hover Summer over its gaped throat. She screams and kicks suspended in the air, dangling helplessly as she stares into the snake’s mouth.
“Hey!” Price yells from off screen.
The purple fruit smacks the snake’s neck with an almost comedic wet slap.
The snake’s mouth snaps shut beneath Summer, its head whipping to the side, venomous eyes locking onto Price. Summer is slammed against the rock ledge, expelling all of the air from her lungs with a guttural wheeze as the snake slithers with unnatural speed towards Price. A choppy groan leaves Summer, dragged across the rock ledge in the snake’s wake as Price trembles, taking uneasy steps backward as he points his meager walking stick in the direction of the snake.
The snake’s already unfurled its terrifying mouth again, priming to swallow him with a gut-churning hiss, but it does not deter Price from launching himself into the snake’s mouth, jamming the thick branch vertically between the bottom and the roof of its mouth.
The snake lets out a cry as it tries to snap its jaw around Price, but instead pierces the walking stick through the roof of its mouth.
The snake wails, ripping away from Price and releasing Summer as it desperately shakes its head to rid the wedge propping its jaw open. Price boots fumble along the rock as he makes a run for Summer, moaning in pain on the ground.
Price skids to a stop before leaning over and pulling her up with sturdy arms and a grunt. Her wobbly legs come to a stand while Price slings her arms over his shoulders, half-dragging her as they stumble through the jungle.
When the two finally give out, Summer collapses to her knees and Price doubles over, his hands on his thighs and spitting his exhaustion into the dirt.
As they catch their heaving breaths, Price lets out a huff.
“Betting on the weird one worked for ya, did it?”
Summer puts two shaky palms to the jungle floor and lowers herself onto her side with a wince.
“You tell me,” She says after a long breath, resting her cheek on her bicep, smearing her arm with the blood of her split chin.
Price laughs again, lying down next to her.
A tightly pressed smile blooms on Summer’s face. Her eyes close, cheeks bunching with a glow that can be seen even under the blood and dirt. Her voice is soft when she speaks to the jungle floor.
“You’re the biggest idiot I know.”
Price hums.
“Well, I can’t help that.”
He touches the pad of his finger to the tip of her nose, a cheeky, goofy grin on his face.
“You’re the one who picked the biggest idiot you know.”
She scoffs, loosely swatting at him, but her hand lingers on his chest, her fingers toying with the slack fabric on the front of his shirt.
“Tell me about it,” She says with a wistful sigh.
You carefully turn your head to get a discreet glimpse of Price on the couch next to you. His elbows are propped up on his knees, leaning forward in his spot. His eyes are relaxed, lost in the rerun. Wearing the outline of a smile that matches Summer’s and the side of his index finger absentmindedly stroking his beard.
Your heart is heavy in your chest and your throat has gone sore and dry, you have to look away from him.
Because you know how this one ends.
When the footage cuts, they show Price and Summer setting up camp in a dilapidated skull the size of a modest room, a snug but cozy fit for two. Whatever animal it came from must have been massive, and had a powerful, flesh-eating jaw. The entrance to their hideout, the mouth of the once creature, is lined with rows of teeth, each tooth the length of Summer’s palm. The skull has been partially overtaken by time and foliage, dirt filthying the yellowish white bone, moss and vines climbing up the holes along the roof of the skull.
Inside the mouth, Summer’s resting on her back on a hand-gathered bed of moss, her elbows bent to cradle her head in her palms. Price is curled up at her side, a sturdy arm slung over her waist, nestled into her shoulder. He snores lightly into her neck as she keeps watch, staring through a hole in the roof of their skull, watching the stars through the leaves of the nearby trees.
Something shakes the jungle, every last tree and leaf on the foliage disturbed as the world rumbles for just a second.
“What’s’it?” Price slurs as he opens his eyes, a deep inhale of morning as he lifts his head to find Summer’s worried face.
It happens again, something shakes the ground beneath them, the both of them jostled for a brief stint.
“The fuck is that?” Summer whispers to him, her brows pinched.
“Don’ know, jus’ woke up,” He mumbles with a slur, voice low with annoyance and sleep.
They flinch and cling to each other when it happens again, their heads swiveling as they try to piece together what’s happening.
“Earthquake?” Summer asks.
Something gives a deafening, screeching roar, booming in the distant forest, ripping a gasp from both of them. Their fingernails are digging into each other, huddled in a ball of tense limbs as they wait for threat.
The thuds turn rhythmic, the entire jungle vibrating with tremendous force.
A shallow breath leaves Price when a tribute screams in the distance.
Both of their mouths are parted, locked onto each other before they peer out of the skull, unable to see beyond the foliage.
The speed increases, the spaced out jostles quickly becoming one continuous rumble. It’s getting closer, intensifying with each beat.
“What do we do?!” Price shouts.
Summer just shakes her head, face slack with fear. The rumbling stops, and the tribute screams pick up in its absence.
The truly harrowing, bone-chilling roar cuts through the jungle again, both Summer and Price jumping from their skin, arms tensing around each other.
A cannon fires.
For minutes the jungle settles, but the two don’t dare break away from each other, holding each other close.
They both flinch when the thuds start up again, one after another, the entire jungle quaking. It’s getting closer, the two have to lower themselves on their hands and knees to keep from being tossed around.
It is a truly terrifying beast, the ultimate predator.
The beast is well over the size of a building, with flesh like a lizard’s. Two powerful, bird-like legs support a body that must be four stories wide, its feet lined with killer claws. A thick neck supports a head the size of a car and two useless arms hang from its front. Half of its body is just a massive tail balancing out the weight of its huge head, thick near its body and thinning out to a point twenty feet away.
When the beast gives a powerful roar, its screeched breath rustles nearby leaves, displaying its powerful jaws far and wide.
Summer blinks, and her gaze flits to the row of teeth at the entrance of their hideout, and she’s coming to the haunting realization that her and Price would be a snug, but cozy fit inside the mouth of the beast. It cross the jungle what must be only fifty yards from Price and Summer, their entire world becoming a nauseating blur.
The two flinch when the extreme force causes the jaws of their hideout to snap shut, trapping them in the skull.
The two watch through the nostril openings until the beast is long lost to the jungle.
“Okay,” Summer draws out a long sigh, closing her eyes, “Hated that.”
“Not a holiday for me, either.”
“Let’s make a deal,” Summer’s fist jams a thumb in the direction of the beast, “We stay far away from that thing.”
“No?” Price asks with a tilt of his head and a raised brow, “I was thinking we put a collar on ‘em and keep ‘em as a pet.”
Summer snorts.
“Fine, but I’m not going to get stuck taking care of it. You have to clean up after it.”
Price’s eyes crinkle when he smiles at her.
“Deal.”
When the feed cuts again, it’s clear a good chunk of time has passed. The hideout is camouflaged, they’ve rigged the skull’s jaw open with a pulley, and the two managed to get their hands on some modest supplies - some rope and knives.
Price and Summer are digging into a nice bounty of fruit and the meat of a jungle creature, cooked over some now extinguished embers. They’re eating in a comfortable silence, resting their backs against the skull with their legs stretched out. It’s clear they’re both exhausted.
Heavy eyelids shoot open when voices in the jungle near.
“I can smell it, it was definitely over here.”
“Well, it’s not anymore. They’re long gone.”
Two careers, slicing their weapons through vines and overgrown plants, hunting for the smoke from Summer and Price’s campfire.
“Lower district rats prol’ly too stupid to clear out.”
Summer’s face twists, a snarl tugging on her lips. Price shakes his head at her, his eyes wide and lips folded in.
“We can look around for a little.”
“Or we can look until we get to spill some rat blood.”
With pointed brows and a growl threatening to leave her, Summer makes a ring with her index finger and her thumb. She goes to place it in her mouth, but Price snatches her wrist and slaps a hand over her mouth, prompting Summer to muffle objections into his palm.
Summer starts swinging at him as she tries to shake away her muzzle, but Price positions himself behind her, pressing her back to his chest and keeping her secure between his legs as she trashes in his hold until the careers move on.
When Price loosens his grip, she shoves him away.
“What is wrong with you?” He hisses, “Are you nuts?”
“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?! How can you just sit by after hearing their bullshit all week?”
“Because I’m not trying to get myself killed!”
“Well then you shouldn’t have volunteered, should ya’ve, Johnny?!”
He doesn’t have anything to say to that one.
The pain wells in his eyes for just a moment before he huffs, pinching his brows and looking away.
Summer grumbles under her breath before crawling out of the skull, getting much needed space from him.
The feed cuts, and it appears as if the two have resolved the fight, or at least have repaired things enough to tolerate being next to each other. They walk silently through the jungle, both of their steps sluggish, but are stopped in their tracks as the world gets brighter. It takes only a few seconds for the entire arena to be engulfed in a blinding white light.
The sound of the impact blares over the speakers loud enough you feel the vibration in your ribcage. It makes you jump. A flinch and a sharp draw of breath that drives Konig to tighten his hold on you.
The ground shakes beneath Price and Summer, tenfold more intense than the beast’s footsteps. It knocks them both to the ground instantly, and they have to scramble to narrowly miss getting crushed by weakened trees, uprooted and crashing to the ground.
A cloud of white dust barrels like a wave in their direction, and even though Price wasted no time to grab Summer’s arm and make a run from it, they are swallowed by a thick cloud of smoke, coughing and hacking as they stumble blindly through the jungle.
Half of the arena has been entirely destroyed, now only a burning, fiery wasteland ringing an enormous crater, a meteor wedged deep into the earth at the center. What remains of the arena is so foggy with debris they can’t see a foot in front of their faces.
The impact killed a handful of tributes instantly, including half the career pack, and wiped out all of the beasts that roamed the land.
The feed cuts again, and your stomach twists when Price licks his lips and looks to the floor.
You know what that means.
You follow his gaze for a moment, trying to swallow the lump forming in your throat.
The meteor strike has driven what remains of the tributes together, the pool slimmed. The dust has mostly cleared the arena, now only a slight fog weaving through the foliage.
Where the jungle breaks into the cornucopia, Price and Summer lock eyes with what remains of the career pack.
Summer’s fists clench at her sides and Price’s hand immediately shoots to Summer’s shoulder.
The careers don’t even lunge for them.
They stand in front of the cornucopia, arms crossed over their chests and smug grins on their faces.
Price gives Summer a tug, guiding her to turn and run, but her feet stay planted firmly on the dirt.
“Trouble,” Price hisses, “Let’s go.”
“C’mon rat!” One of the careers calls from across the field, his arms uncrossing and held out at his sides, inviting them to a fight.
Summer’s knuckles have gone white around the handle of her blade, shallow breaths leave her parted lips. She’s caught in a trance as she stares down the careers.
“Summer! Let’s go!” He says sternly, giving a harsh tug on her arm and taking a step to backtrack into the forest.
“You all talk?!” One of the careers calls, “Put your bread where your mouth is, Rat!”
Summer jaw clenches before she rips from Price’s grip, breaking into a sprint towards the careers.
“Summer, no!”
Price runs after her, but stops in his tracks when Summer’s ankle snags against something.
It happens so fast.
A nearly invisible tripwire hidden within the fern-like plants sends an axe into the side of her stomach in an instant. For a moment she is paralyzed, only a slight sway on her feet before she turns to face Price.
It takes a moment for Price to understand what just happened, in stunned disbelief as his hands find his head.
“No!” Price cries when his thoughts catch up, “No, no!”
His boots take off, slamming against the dirt and tearing through the ferns as he runs for her.
“Summer! Summer!”
A heavy wall of tears rims his eyeline, a shake in his hands as he locks on to her wide eyes. Summer collapses face first into the foliage, and when Price catches up he forcefully flips her onto her front.
Summer groans as Price’s panicked eyes dart over the wound, muttering to himself while the blood oozes generously around the blade of the axe.
“You’re going to be okay!” He says, but he convinces absolutely no one, then and now.
“‘S make a deal, okay?” Summer grits, her words chopped with each twitch of her body, “You win this thing-”
Summer coughs, blood splattering on her lips and chin.
“And I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”
He nods, tears slipping down his face.
Price’s voice is just a choked breath.
“Deal.”
She closes her eyes and hums.
“Love you, Johnny.”
“Love you, Summertime.”
“Go,” She says hoarsely, “Make sure you didn’t do it for nuthin’.”
Price nods, his brows pinching. He looks up to the careers, both of them making the dash across the clearing to finish Price off.
He looks back to Summer, his face falling and swelled with worry.
Her eyes roll ever so slightly, her words wet and gurgled through her blood.
“Go, idiot.”
Price nods with a swallow and rises to his feet, breaking into a run further into the jungle as soon as he musters up the courage to take his eyes off her. He doesn’t look back, his boots slamming against the jungle floor with each step, the leaves of the flora wavering in his wake.
Tears streak his face, his lips parted to push out sharp breaths, but otherwise his face is expressionless, stone-cold. He only breaks for a moment when the cannon fires, a wince that creases his eyes, but his boots don’t slow.
The careers are closing in on him, and you find your nails are digging into Konig’s thigh, threatening to tear a chunk of fabric from his dress pants.
Price must have run miles without slowing before he sidesteps the familiar pool of quicksand and returns to his previous trajectory. One of the careers gets sucked right into his trap, his body is thrown when his boot gets caught in the pit, planting his palms right into the quicksand.
By time the other career catches up, the sand has swallowed the boy to his wrists and ankles. He’s tugging futilely against its hold on him, only burying himself further into the sand’s clutches. The other career ignores him entirely, doesn’t even look in the direction of the desperate pleas for help.
When Price finds his and Summer’s hideout, he makes a beeline for it.
Both your teeth and fists are clenched, resisting the urge to scold Price for cornering himself by crawling into the skull.
Price turns on his feet, hunched over to fit as he steps to the back of the hideout, his knife primed above his head.
“Let’s go, Rat!” The career calls before lowering himself to follow Price into the hideout.
Price swings his knife, but not at the career, no.
As the career is halfway into the mouth of the skull, Price slices clean through the rope of the pulley. The skull’s powerful jaw clamps shut with tremendous force, massive teeth piercing through the career’s torso with a snap, pinning him in the mouth of the once beast.
The career sputters his breath, eyes blown and blood shooting from his mouth at once. His hands instinctively press the back of the beast’s teeth to pointlessly try to work himself free.
Price carefully nears as the boy struggles, keeping eye contact with him. Price’s face is eerily even as he squats down in the bed of moss soaking up the blood that drains down the massive, bone white teeth.
He raises his knife to his own forearm, and slices clean through his skin without so much as wincing.
Price inspects the wound with furrowed brows for a moment before he slowly extends his forearm to the boy, droplets of Price’s blood streaking from the cut and down his arm.
“You see that?” He says, his voice low and dangerous.
Price huffs.
“Looks like you bleed the same colors as the rats.”
The boy can’t respond, too busy choking on his blood, but what life remains in his eyes sparks with rage, his brows creasing ever so slightly as he glares at Price.
Price’s eyes narrow into a deep squint.
“You tell Summer who sent you.”
Price’s knife pierces through the career’s windpipe without warning.
You flinch in your seat, eyes pinching shut to rid the sight of Sapphire being skewered at your hand, your nails nearly drawing blood from the flesh of your knee as you try to shake the reverb of the staff in your grip and silence the sound of her choking on her own blood.
“Wow,” Caesar starts, “Let’s give John a hand, huh?”
The audience complies, but it’s muffled by the sound of your own shallow breaths in your ears. Behind the cover of your eyelids, your irises dart furiously.
So much new information you’re learning about your fellow victors today, and not at all the proper space to digest it.
Your nausea is making a reappearance and your heels scrape across the stage in a futile attempt to expel the heat bubbling from your pores.
“It must be really special to you, that after all this time, you managed to pull off getting these two star-crossed lovers out together.”
Price gives a curt nod.
“That’s right,” He says evenly.
Your hand crosses over your bicep, and your lower lips catches between your teeth. That sickening guilt is coiling in your intestines again, the heavy weight that’s impossible to ignore.
What makes you worthy of getting out of the arena, when Summer couldn’t?
Why do you and Konig get to have each other at your sides - when Price didn’t get the same?
You don’t feel deserving of it.
Not just in comparison to Price - but even in relation to your games.
Why do you get to sit here on this stage, alive and unharmed, while there are twenty-two other tributes - many of them much more deserving of the victor title - who’ve long since been packed up in wooden boxes and shipped back to their districts?
Because you are alive today, someone else is dead.
And it’s only worse that a selfish little brat like you got gifted something that an honorable man like Price couldn’t have.
Guilt.
“Tell us,” Caesar says to you and Konig, “Have you seen this footage before?”
You swallow hard enough you can feel it tug on your ears. You can’t bring yourself to speak, or even open your eyes, so you just shake your head.
“And how do you feel after seeing John’s win for the first time?”
You shake your head again, and when you speak, your words are choked and barely audible.
“Not good.”
Price gives you a squeeze on the shoulder before rubbing it out. You think he’s trying to tell you it’s okay, that you shouldn’t feel bad, but it does nothing to relieve the sickening guilt swelling in your gut and swallowing you whole.
Caesar receives little cooperation from Konig.
“Well, John, I have to say, your tributes weren’t the only ones stirring excitement in the arena.”
Price scoffs, a smile tugging on his lips.
”We have some never-before seen footage I can’t wait to share with you all! Let’s take a look, shall we?”
The mentor’s suite is just a sterile white, curved room, lined with screens and chairs. One large screen shows the audience’s perspective, and each mentor’s seat has multiple screens to keep an eye on their own tributes at all times.
You’d think Price bet the farm on you and Konig.
Price is consistently the loudest of all the mentors. It’s easy to see from one look that everyone else is annoyed with him.
Ruby isn’t nearly as loud, but she’s just as obnoxious, looking over Price’s shoulder and squealing every word.
Oh, how you have missed that shrill Capitol accent.
They only show the particularly interesting moments.
When you escaped the snare, Price threw his chair across the room, making everyone in the room flinch.
“That’s my fucking girl!”
“Well, she has always been stubborn!” Ruby chimes.
It actually makes you blow an amused huff of air out of your nose, a grin creeping on your lips.
And of course, they show Price pulling Ruby into an excited kiss when you escaped Titan. She turns bright red and grunts when he lets go of her, smoothing out her shirt.
”Well, I never!”
The audience loves it, a hearty applause for Price’s antics.
Caesar asks Price a few more questions, but you do your best to tune them out, taking your opportunity to shut off your brain for a minute as you bury yourself into Konig’s chest.
When Caesar prompts Price off the stage, he practically strongholds you into standing with him, Konig in turn following.
He pulls you in for a hug and digs his nails into your back hard enough you hiss into his ear. He doesn’t let you wriggle away, holding you for a few more sharp seconds before he finally lets you free, ignoring your face pinched in defense.
His jaw clenches, and the message his eyes are drilling into you is clear.
Be. Good.
The look, the first implementation of physical correction - it’s enough to dry out your mouth and clench your muscles. An ominous feeling pools from your center and infects your limbs, ultimately putting a shake in your fingers and a wobble in your knees.
There it is, that feeling again. The unpinnable, chest-wrenching, breath-stealing feeling.
Something is wrong.
How badly did you fuck up? What specifically was he correcting?
Konig doesn’t get the same treatment. Price plasters his crowd-worthy grin on his face and pulls Konig into a short side-hug, giving him two gentle but firm pats on the back before he struts off, waving at the crowd.
With stitched brows you follow him with your gaze as Price walks off stage, carefully taking your seat once he’s out of sight. Your fingers fidget at your side as you try to heed off the urge to throw up all over the glittery stage.
Caesar hypes up the crowd for the finale before digging into the highlights.
You’re not looking forward to this part.
The oasis does not grant Konig refuge from the dust storm, a light breeze turning to a gusting wind that turns to a full on twister of sand.
They cut to the boy from four, still lying on the sand exactly where Konig left him, skin fried from the desert sun.
Konig paralyzed him.
And judging by the way Konig’s eyes widen and his lips part, he had no idea. He looks to his hands, horrified.
The dust storm steadily suffocates Four, his weak cries more muffled with each passing second before his cannon fires.
Konig’s horrified expression lingers the entirety of the arena being destroyed.
You give him a squeeze that he doesn’t return, motionless when you rest your cheek on his shoulder.
They feature the boy from six and the boy from seven, the boys who ran into the snow quadrant at the bloodbath. They took refuge in the center of the snow quadrant, in the large, complex system of caves. They were out hunting for food before the avalanche chased them out of the woods and swallowed them whole.
Even though you only knew of them as ‘The boys who ran into the snow quadrant’ - there’s some level of unpinnable familiarity there that makes your heart sink. Maybe because you witnessed their death happen in person, or maybe because you got too close of a look at them at the bloodbath, or maybe it was that moment where the boy from seven was smiling in his chariot with his district companion. You don’t know. This interview is so exhausting, and has left you with more than enough emotional homework you care to handle, and you’re still not finished yet.
You still have to relive Sapphire’s death, you still have to watch Konig beat Titan into a bloody pulp, and you still have to see Konig die.
What you wouldn’t give for a breather.
For five minutes with Konig in private.
You just want to be done, done with this interview, done with The Capitol, done with the Hunger Games.
But you won’t ever be, will you? Every year they’ll drag you and Konig back with Price, forced to mentor a pair of kids destined to die, and you won’t be able to keep your distance. Every year they will break your heart, and every year they’ll broadcast your romance far and wide, both in recaps and in new footage.
They start with Sapphire.
As soon as her cry blares over the speakers, your eyes are screwed shut.
Konig’s nearly squeezing the life from you, surely watching Sapphire close in as you bleed generously from your hedge-inflicted wounds.
“He killed him! He killed him!”
Konig’s grip on you loosens as soon as he realizes it.
Realizes that you took the brunt of her vengeance against him for killing her district companion. A boy she surely trained with for years, preparing for this moment.
You give his arm a squeeze. Konig doesn’t know it, but that same vengeance is what saved you.
The exhaustion from mourning her companion made Sapphire’s spear toss sloppy, her hatred for Konig left her defenses wide open, and her spite drove her own spear square into her abdomen.
How many times does a boy have to save a girl’s life before she gets the fucking picture?
Konig is so skilled at protecting you - he managed to pull it off without even being by your side - all while you fought with everything you had to die.
It feels as if these games have revolved around you and Konig since the beginning. Tethered together by a rope that stretched across the arena, ensnaring any tributes that neared in its indestructible, suffocating web.
You can’t help but wonder - if you had never been, if you were never a soul on this earth, what would the outcome have been?
Who would have had a fair chance if you and Konig had not been unintentional allies, if it weren’t for you two being an unstoppable force that pulled tributes under without even trying?
How many deaths fall back on you, simply for breathing, for existing?
Konig’s grip has turned crushing since Sapphire whipped her spear in your direction, and it almost grounds you as you’re suffocated by the replay of her froths.
The squelch of Sapphire’s eye and her haunting wail makes you gag, bile sloshing up the back of your throat and bringing tears to your eyes.
Konig’s clutch on you is so tight he’s shaking. As you and Sapphire attack simultaneously, he sucks in a sharp breath, flinching in his seat. He almost takes your hand with him to find his head, but corrects himself and rests your intertwined hands where your thighs meld together.
Your eyes are closed, but you can see her - on her knees, ripping out her own eye, the tear of her shredded optic nerve. You can feel it - the spear jamming into your stomach, the weight of Sapphire’s body scraping the spear against your flayed hands, the ground jostling you about as her limp body bounces lifelessly on the ground.
“What a moment, what a moment!” Caesar chimes once the footage pauses, a chorus of claps echoing throughout the theatre.
“Wow, I have to say, it’s not every games we get to see a tribute drive another to end their own life,” Caesar’s lips pull to the side, and he speaks in a lowered, cheeky tone, “And I hate to spoil it for you folks, but that won’t be the last time it happens.”
As the audience laughs, your face pinches, crushing Konig’s hand in yours. Your lips part to run your mouth - but you stop yourself, forcing out a deep breath.
Be. Good.
So instead your lips press into a tightly pursed smile, your neck jerking to the side.
Konig finds you, those icy blue eyes just as annoyed as yours.
He lifts your locked hands with a gentle shake and a squeeze.
“And here I thought I was being original,” He mutters with a slight roll of his eyes.
For a moment your brows tighten, and then you scoff, finding yourself actually smiling during this grueling, painful interview.
“Eh,” You shrug, “She may have gotten there first, but you perfected it.”
His chest puffs out with an amused huff, his fingers raising to rub out his temple. He shakes his head and looks at you, and you share a weak, but genuine smile.
It doesn’t last long.
Konig’s next.
Really, you should have connected the dots considering you saw the two dead tributes at the other end of the maze, but it hadn’t crossed your mind to think of the fights that were taking place as you fought Sapphire.
His assigned opponent is the girl from two, Sage as Sapphire called her.
Sage wastes no time once the ground settles, in a run straight for him. Konig’s not fazed by her speed. He roughly tosses his pack to the side, and stands tall with Four’s blade primed.
There’s little to see of his expression under his hood, but his eyes are fearless, slightly narrowed as he waits for her approach.
Sage wields a sword of her own, and once Konig is in motion, it’s impossible to look away. The footage isn’t altered, but it feels as if time has slowed for them. You catch every movement, the way Konig’s leg dips and his arm straightens behind him, winding up to deflect her hit with the perfect clinks of metal on metal. They way her feet shuffle in perfect positioning, alternating between offensive and defensive maneuvers.
It’s violent, aggressive, - but also graceful.
Their fight is a mesmerizing dance. They meet in the middle like it has been rehearsed, perfect timing of the commanding clashes to form a grated song of their swords embracing.
Sage’s face is pinched in determination and focus, grunts behind her grit teeth with each swing.
They exchange no words.
It’s a transaction, professional. The two are there to complete their task and nothing more.
Their swords clash between their chests and hold there, hands trembling as they push against the other. Their eyes are locked and crinkled in focus.
Konig closes in and gives a forceful shove, sending her tumbling back onto the grass.
When she’s on her elbows, her legs bending in a scramble, the very end of Konig’s blade finds her neck, resting an inch under her chin. He looms over her in all his glory, blocking out the sun and casting his shadow over her.
Sage stills at once, her lips twitching as she looks up at him. It’s not quite anger in her eyes, more frustration at herself. Bested even with her training.
She doesn’t beg. She holds his taut stare, and waits. Accepting her defeat in good sportsmanship.
Konig’s sword lingers for a few moments before it slowly retreats, pulling away from her neck.
Sage breaks the stare to follow Konig’s sword until it’s back at his side.
“Up, Girl.”
Her chest heaves with her shallow breaths, irises shifting back and forth as she flits between both of his unreadable eyes.
There’s a pause, lingering their stares on each other before she comes to a slow stand.
Konig takes a few steps back, his sword relaxed at his side. For a moment she eyes him in unease, but he waits patiently. She fixes her shirt, tugging down the hem that bunched up when she fell, and tilts her head to the side to pop a joint in her neck. A long exhale leaves her, she rolls her shoulders, and repositions her feet.
Her face pinches in determination, and they begin round two.
They’re not holding back. Sage is back in the game, catching every swing. She almost gets him, twisting her wrist with a jerk of her arm to leave his core undefended, but he saves it with a quick deflect by putting the sword vertically just in front of his middle. She would have cut him when she forced her sword further into his, but the supplies in his vest spares him from being nicked with his own sword.
Sage retreats her blade and risks opening herself up while Konig’s busy winding regaining his grip on his swords. She returns with all her might, a grunt that borders on a shout leaving her. Konig blocks her from the inside and pushes outwards, and for a moment she loses balance, stumbling at Konig’s side. His upper half quickly leans back as he swivels to keep face to face with her, a few steps back to keep his distance.
He flinches when she cries out. Sage learns the hard way about the hedge’s blades, slicing deep gashes on the undersides of her forearms and through the meat of her palms.
Konig’s eyes widen as he tries to figure out what just happened, taking a few uneasy steps back as she collects herself.
Sage shakes out her arm, flicking blood in all directions. She winces, but it does little to stop her from wrapping her palms around the handle of her sword and finishing their fight.
They sidestep each other for a moment, swords at the ready.
Sage advances quickly and with little warning, frustration laced into her flurry of offensive strikes. Her blade is just a blur, each collision announced with the clash of steel and a splatter of her blood. Konig follows her lead, blocking each strike, both of them slipping right back into their perfected routine. She’s clearly got the upper hand when it comes to skill, her sword techniques much more advanced. But Konig’s holding his ground even with his base level understanding.
Sapphire’s cannon fires, and the girl from two loses her rhythm when she flinches and whips her head to the side.
That’s all Konig needs. He gives a forceful shove to the blades, knocking her off balance. He has no problem dismounting her sword. She’s back on the ground again, unarmed and dwarfed under Konig’s full stature.
She doesn’t scramble for her sword or to a stand, calmly propping up on her elbows and watching as Konig leisurely returns the sword to her neck.
They lock eyes again, her chest rising and falling with her heavy breaths as they stare at each other.
Sage licks her lips and nods.
“Do me a favor,” She says through shallow breath.
She looks to the blade, and then back to him.
“Make sure that loon doesn’t win.”
Konig pauses, his eyes relaxing.
“Okay,” He says.
She gives him a faint nod, and Konig takes a long, deep breath, closing his eyes on the exhale. With one motion he pierces the sword into her neck until it imbeds through the ground beneath her.
As the audience claps for Konig, your eyes are pinched shut, trying to free your hands of Sapphire’s spear.
When you do look to him, your brows pinched and gnawing on your lower lip, he doesn’t meet your stare. His eyes point low and to the side, a solemn look weighing down his pale features.
“Wow,” Caesar starts as the audience settles, “Konig, I have to say, that was a truly thrilling fight.”
You have to agree with Caesar on that one. Your heart is beating so fast you can feel it in your ribcage, and you wouldn’t be surprised if your lips have turned blue from holding your breath.
“I have to ask, what were your motivations in granting Sage a second chance?”
You’d like to know the answer to that one, too.
Konig is silent and still, sunken eyes taking their time to find Caesar. He swallows hard enough you can see it, and he gives an unsteady, slow shrug. This one’s different, it’s not disrespectful. Defeated and sluggish, you can tell he genuinely cannot find the words.
They’re used to careers sitting on this couch, wearing proud with each replay of their kills, cheering along with the crowd.
If The Capitol wanted meaningful commentary from you both, they should have given you more time to think on everything, because right now it is so painful. You feel like you’ve been sliced from chest to core, your guts spilling all over the glittery stage, and Caesar might as well be squishing your intestines under his dress shoes with every question he asks.
Caesar sees he’s not going to get the answers the country is desperate for, and moves on.
Titan’s turn.
His fight is much less fair.
He’s up against a male tribute who’s clearly out of his depth, unarmed and no match for Titan.
If you had to guess, his strategy for the games was the same as yours. To evade until he had no choice, and he’s realizing that this is his reckoning.
A prey trapped with its predator, the instinctual fear of an animal taking control as he tries to put as much space between him and Titan as possible.
Titan’s maniacal cackle as he watches the boy tremble and flee sends a shiver down your spine. He stands so casually, laughing at him as if the boy wasn’t rightfully treating Titan like the killer he is.
It’s a jarring contrast, they’re not even playing the same game.
For Titan, it’s like a game of tag. Toying with the boy as he chases him around their pen, teasing calls in a sing-song tune, smiling and laughing all the while. He purposely slows up a few times to drag the fun out a little longer.
It’s so unnerving, an unsettling twist in your lower core that begs for attention.
Titan.
If you never see those teeth again, if you never hear that laugh again - it’ll be too soon.
It’s clear that both you and Konig have checked out. Shut down on yourselves, staring blankly at the stage and trying your hardest not to retain any of it. Your limp body leans into him, lulling your head on his bicep.
He gives you a weak squeeze on your locked, sweaty hands, but is otherwise motionless at your side.
The Capitol forcing you to falsely grieve his death has worn yourself down emotionally before you even stepped onto this stage, and every highlight chips away at what little of you remains.
You find your mind wandering to that night before the games. Longing for a soft bed and Konig’s chest as a pillow, leeching his cozy warmth, his heartbeat a lullaby to ease you into a much needed break from consciousness.
Your eyes are still closed when Titan finishes the excruciatingly drawn-out hunt, but you can hear it.
Titan chose to break his neck.
Every muscle in you and Konig’s bodies have clenched with such speed and intensity it’s painful. You lurch forward involuntarily, folding your core in preparation to keep from throwing up over yourself.
Titan’s cackle is the accompanying song to the vivid image of Eleven’s limp bounce off the platform, his lifeless eyes a searing, white hot flash behind your eyelids.
You shake your head to try and rid the visual, taking deep breaths in a futile effort to settle your boiling stomach.
You can’t take much more of this. The only thing keeping you on this couch is Price’s fingernails sinking into your back.
It was a warning.
A warning without explanation of consequence or instruction on how to proceed. A blaring alarm, not sure if you’re dealing with a tornado or a wildfire, unsure if you’re meant to hunker down or evacuate.
All you have to work with is - Be. Good.
You barely manage to stay on the couch, squirming and shaking into Konig’s side.
Once Caesar is done analyzing the footage of Titan and his victim, the rest of the hedge walls descend, and it’s on to the three-way standoff.
You have to open your eyes to watch, because other than Konig’s hand nearly crushing the bones in your hand to dust - the glittery stage, Caesar Flickerman, and this godforsaken audience is the only thing reminding you that you’re not in the arena.
The wide aerial shot they use makes the six of you look like insects as Titan and Konig close in.
They pause on you, coated and dripping in blood, brows pinched and eyes pointed, Sapphire’s colorful spear trained at Konig’s chest.
The image makes your face warp, knotting your insides with shame and guilt. You look like a heartless killer, aiming your spear at the boy who loves you so much he sacrificed himself for you.
“Konig, I have to say, it must have been tough watching a friend, your crush, displaying such apparent distrust.”
Caesar’s words are like a knife to the chest. Slicing deep and exposing your heart to the entire country.
And you would know.
Konig swallows, his eyes flitting to his fidgeting dress shoes. He gives a grave nod that twists the knife sticking out of your chest.
“My dear,” Caesar says, “What was going on in your head at this moment?”
It takes you a few moments to coax the words from your dry, raw throat.
“I-”
You take a deep breath, smoothing out your dress skirt. You sound like a child when you speak.
“Nothing. Nothing was going through my head. I was just scared.”
Caesar nods.
“Scared of a friend?”
He might as well have taken the knife from your heart and plunged it right back in.
You swallow, your words consisting of only breath.
“Yeah.”
“And why’s that?”
For fucks sake, Caesar.
Be. Good.
“Because it was the end,” You croak, the audience hanging onto every word.
“I think we understand dear,” Caesar says, “Afterall, you’re not a mind reader.”
You give a shaky nod, and Caesar finally gives it a rest.
Titan’s taunts blaring over the speakers are unable to be ignored.
Titan.
That sardonic laugh, that mocking voice, those killer teeth.
It’s somehow worse the second time.
Your skewered heart is racing, your entire body pulsing in rhythm and blurring your vision with each beat.
At your side, Konig’s jaw is clicking as he grinds his teeth, his hand shaking in your hold.
Sapphire’s ribs snapping under Titan’s boot fold your body in a cringe, Eleven’s lifeless eyes stealing your breath.
When Titan’s gotten his hands on you, Konig lets go of your hand and slings his arms around your waist instead, possessively tugging you flush against him, quick and just forceful enough to pull a gasp from you. As Konig gives your hand a break to squeeze your side instead, your stare follows your touch as you rub out the ache in your palm.
You can feel the vibration of Titan’s chest against your back, his breath in your ear, his massive arm snaked around your neck.
Next to you, Konig’s leg is bouncing furiously, a hand lost in his hair in a useless attempt to placate his rage.
You give his leg a gentle squeeze, trying to get him to look at you, to remind him that you’re right here, that it’s okay. He doesn’t meet your gaze, staring daggers at Titan through the screen as he coos and purrs and growls and yells and taunts.
Every insufferable moment of this standoff is a grating ringing in your ears. Listening to yourself yell at Konig in a demand to kill you is making you feel dumb, Titan’s voice rips a shudder from you with every sentence, and Konig’s rage is a burning heat on your skin.
The worst is yet to come, of course. The encore of Konig beating Titan to a bloody pulp.
Konig’s arm turns to lead over your shoulders, working against each flinch you make. He’s entirely still at your side as you shake in his hold, pinching your eyes shut but not at all able to rid the visual of Titan's smashed face and the waterfall of blood behind him, his lifeless body collapsing to the grass and razor sharp blades shredding his flesh.
As you beg and plead with Konig for your life, you’re both deathly still on the couch, only the rise and fall of your chest to heave breaths towards your lap.
You can’t bring yourself to sit up or to open your eyes. The sound of your own voice, pleading for your life with the boy who killed himself for you, it’s making you sink in on yourself.
To your relief, they skip your breakdown. You find it strange they also skip Konig tending to your wounds and his detail of that day in District Nine.
They do show a few bits of conversation from your picnic, but most of it is cut. They leave out the trip to the oasis entirely.
At first, it’s a relief. The more they skip the quicker this interview is over with, and to be honest, you weren’t crazy about the idea of all of Panem watching you and Konig having careless fun in your underwear. You’re especially thankful that Konig won’t be finding out about the lingering stares anytime soon.
There’s something about it that’s not sitting right with you, though. Yours and Konig’s romance was the star of this year’s games, and it seems odd they’re cutting out the particularly lighthearted, but intimate moments.
The audience does get a chance to gush over Konig carrying you through the desert, and laugh over you asking Konig about having a crush back home, but again, they skip most of yours and Konig’s conversations.
And there it is again. The dread that sloshes around your core, lapping up your insides, a dark cloud drifting into your thoughts but entirely unidentifiable.
Something is wrong.
Konig rests his cheek on the crowd of your head, his finger tracing gentle swirls into your sides instead of squeezing. You find yourself melting into him, your finger absentmindedly stroking his silken tie as you let your eyes flutter shut.
“You’ve really never had a boyfriend?”
You’ve seen this one already.
Might as well try and sneak in a break, here in his chest.
Konig’s hand finds your hair, running his fingers through your Capitol-Standard silken locks, sending electric tingles up your scalp. He manages to draw a soft, content hum from you.
It’s like the eye of the storm, a moment of calm before you’re thrown right back into the hurricane.
Caesar leaves you both alone. He doesn’t need to ask you how you feel, or what was going through your mind, because the versions of you and Konig on screen are doing the work for you.
Caesar does occasionally stop the footage to make commentary that would normally make your teeth drive straight through the flesh of your tongue, but you truly can't find it in you to care. The only thing you care about in this moment is the billow of Konig’s ribcage with each breath, the feeling of his chest from beneath his suit, the soothing fingers sliding through your hair.
“I have to say, it’s the first time we’ve ever seen two tributes fight to the death quite like this!”
And yeah, you’d prefer if all of Panem wasn’t watching you be so raw and vulnerable, but you can’t bring yourself to even be embarrassed about your fits and fight.
Aside from the obscenities and insults thrown at Konig, you stand by everything you said, everything you did, and you’d do it again if you have to.
The kissing doesn’t even faze you.
You’d do it again and again and again.
They obviously skip your intimacy.
You expected at the very least some teasing from Caesar, innocuous jokes and cheeky, knowing stares until you and Konig’s cheeks turn warm, but they don’t even mention it.
And unusually, they skip your preparations for death. You do remember making the faintest slight against the Capitol, but they skip all of it. Your plea to die, the exchange of the ribbon, the final hug.
Come on. That’s the height of television to these people. The drama and the tragedy.
You and Konig put on a show. In more ways than one, and it’s hard to stomach why The Capitol didn’t include any of it in the highlights.
And while you’re relieved you don’t have to relive such a painful, bittersweet moment - you know that there is a reason it was not included.
A reason The Capitol did not like.
And it’s starting to sink in that maybe you don’t have the upper hand anymore.
Because with Konig at your side - they finally have the leverage they need. It is no longer you as the sacrificial lamb. If The Capitol is upset with you, they will not use your tongue against you.
They will use his.
Konig’s chest does little to quell this thought.
The sound of a blade slicing flesh, screams and desperate pleas, weak reassurances also does little to help.
And of course, the audience cheers for your double suicide. It doesn’t even surprise you.
What does surprise you, though, is the footage of you in your hospital room.
Immediately your head rips from Konig’s chest, your face falling, scrambling to comb over everything you said in your fits to figure out what could possibly be exposed to all of Panem in moments you thought were private.
They show you attacking Price in the hospital room, which the crowd finds funny, but you scratch behind your ear, not sure how to feel about it. It is kind of funny, considering Konig was alive the entire time, but you find being forced to believe he was dead, the grief that otherwise was not necessary, not so funny.
And they show Konig. Restrained to his hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling, his temples red and raw from the never-ending stream of tears trailing down the side of his face to contribute to the growing stain on his pillow.
He refused to do anything.
Wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t listen to the nurses, wouldn’t even speak to Price.
Just stares at the ceiling, unmoving.
When you try to meet his stare, he refuses, his eyes fixated on his lap, sitting low on the couch.
You rest your head back on his chest, your arms creeping around his waist and squeezing tight.
I’m here now.
After a pause, the arm around your waist gives a gentle squeeze back.
You tune out Caesar’s closing commentary, trying to focus on breathing Konig in, the feeling of his firm chest billowing against your ear. His hand creeps behind you, fingertips tracing over the back of your dress in soothing, abstract patterns.
The crowd gives another roaring round of applause before the anthem plays, and out steps The President.
The sight of him, stepping onto the stage with his stark black suit and precise smile, floods you with a wave of dread from head to toe. You don’t even have the sense to hide the intimidation pulling at your features as you and Konig rise from the couch, your sweaty hands interlocking once again.
Behind him stands a Capitol attendant, carrying your crowns onto stage.
Konig actually has to bend at the knee to keep The President from standing on his tiptoes.
The President gives a soft, calculated laugh.
“Thank you, boy.”
With delicate hands he places a thick and ornate golden crown onto Konig’s head before he steps to you.
Inches from you, he wears a perfect smile as he places your crown on your head. His eyes are cruel and piercing, he doesn’t so much as blink. His icy stare lingers long after he’s dawned you with the dainty golden crown.
You swallow once when he finally turns away, looking to your heels, crushing Konig’s hand with your own.
The standing ovation, bowing, and waving goes on for far too long. You’re starting to think Caesar is dragging it out on purpose just to torture you when you finally get the cue to leave the stage.
You don’t even get a moment to take a breath before the prep teams and stylists swallow you both whole, showering you with praise and squeals overlapping each other, you can’t make out a single thing any one of them are saying.
Their group moves in a pack, forcing you and Konig to shuffle forward, locked at the hands to keep the other from getting lost.
Mauve manages to push her way through, grabbing your free hand.
“Just wait until you see the dress for the party!”
“What do you mean?” You ask, looking down at your dress, “I can’t just wear this?”
“Of course not, babe! It’s a ball.”
No much-needed elaboration is received.
Mauve and the woman you saw whispering frantically with her before the interview try to seperate you both to get you ready.
“No!”
As you object, Konig tugs you closer to his side, the hardened hand engulfing yours doubling its grip.
The group goes silent, all of them looking to you.
Mauve and the woman share an uneasy stare and nod.
“Yeah, babe,” Mauve says with a waver in her unusually high-pitched voice, her hand raising to twirl the charm in her necklace between her fingers, “We can- yeah, we can get you both ready together.”
You give a shaky nod, your other arm reaching across your front to grab his tense bicep.
They take you to your fitting room, and you both are once again transformed.
So sparkly.
Tonight’s color is champagne. A weird mixture of a golden beige and rose. Shimmering rays of gold reflect from the glittery dress with the slightest movements. It almost hurts your eyes.
Another sweetheart bust that comes in at your waist, and you already know the way the hem of your dress drags against the ground is going to be annoying. Two straps only as thick as twine reach over each of your shoulder blades to criss-cross in the middle of your back.
And you find your inner biceps will once again be tortured by the rough texture of the glitter.
Konig’s suit is a matching color, but no glitter. The elegant paisley patterns and the lapels of his suit are the slightest bit reflective, the designs appearing to change color depending on how the light hits him.
“You look beautiful,” Konig says.
His voice is soft, his eyebrows the slightest bit pinched.
“You too,” You whisper.
Unsure eyes linger on each other, a sad smile on both of your faces as the prep team gushes over your compliments.
You don’t want to talk about what happened, but it feels wrong to talk about anything else. Every word feels like it is overheard by twenty-two dead tributes, like every sentence must justify a double suicide.
The air between you is more than heavy, awkward even.
Because how do you look at each other and not immediately think of the nightmare you both just woke up from?
The click of her heels announces her presence before that unmistakable voice does.
“Oh! There’s my tributes!”
Ruby pulls you both into a hug at the same time, smushing yours and Konig’s arms together.
“Oh, you did it! You did it!” She squeals, actually jumping up and down in your group hug, her brilliant white smile flashing far and wide, “I am just so proud of you!”
She doesn’t even let either of you get a word in, which usually is annoying, but at the moment a huge relief. Not just because you’re incredibly relieved to see her, but you’re really not up for talking right now. You feel like a lifeless husk, your insides shriveled up and flaked away to dust.
She reaches out to scoop up yours and Konig’s free hands, the three of you now linked in a triangle of hand holding.
“Not one, but two of my tributes! My stars! Oh, I’m sorry dears, I’m sorry I didn’t come see you before. I just wouldn’t have been able to keep the secret! They wouldn’t let us tell you, I’d have had my tongue cut out!”
Ruby rambles on, gushing and singing praises at you and Konig, both of you hardly having the energy to listen to the words being thrown at you.
“Oh,” You say quietly, interrupting her mid-sentence what must be twenty minutes into a monologue, “I forgot.”
You fish into the bust of your dress and retrieve her token, staring at the small trinket in your palm before extending it to her.
“Thanks for letting me borrow it,” You whisper.
Ruby’s lips fold in, a soft hand resting on her collarbones.
Tears brim in her eyeline as she gently closes your fingers over the token and clasps her hands around yours.
“It’s yours, dear. It’s yours.”
Her words prick the back of your throat, mouth suddenly dry as you try to choke back tears. You go to thank her, but you can’t find your voice. Instead you give her a deep nod, finishing out on an involuntary, choked sob.
“Oh, dear,” She pulls you into her arms, and while you don’t return the embrace, you do bury your cheek into her shoulder, squeezing Konig’s token at your side.
“Thank you,” You whisper, the tears escaping down your cheeks, “Thank you.”
“Of course,” she says, stroking your upper back, “Of course.”
She gives you a gentle swat on your forearm.
“And don’t you cry young lady! Your makeup hasn’t even had time to dry!’
You let out a nasally laugh, giving a sniff.
”You got it, Ruby,” You mumble.
You give a long sigh as your smile fades, closing your eyes on the exhale. You’re exhausted, mentally and physically. It’s weighing you down, eyelids heavy and each movement slowed.
How badly you want to take a break, to turn off your brain and fall asleep on Konig’s chest in the privacy of your own room, to have even a moment to process the nightmare you just went through.
But now is not the time for respite, privacy, or reflection
Now is the time for a party.
NEXT CHAPTER | CHAPTER NAVIGATION
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Dividers @saradika-graphics
Konig Photo Credit
476 notes · View notes
bwobgames · 4 months ago
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"..."
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“…You wanna see it?”
“Can I?!”
“Woah…! This is so fancy!”
“Nah, it’s just shiny. It’s a normal acoustic guitar.”
“Actually, Is that yours? Can I see it?”
“Yeah! here!”
“Oh shit. This IS fancy”
“Hehe, I wanted a pretty one”
“You should’ve gotten a lute. I mean. Would have fit the vibe better.”
“Huh? What vibe?”
“The wizard pondering the orb vibe”
“Oh, thank you!”
“So? Have you sung anything on a campfire yet? Wonderwall? Lamento Boliviano?”
“Ah, no. I’m not very good at it yet. Mr Beebo is teaching me, though!”
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“That’s good. Guitar is always better taught one on one”
“I love your dress! Where did you get it?”
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“Oh, it was a gift, I’m not sure where it is from…”
“It was commissioned to a designer I trust. If you wish to know you’ll have to keep it secret. All good designers are so busy these days”
“For real”
“Ah, but still! Can I take a picture? Is for my insta. I’m a bit of a fashion girlie, y’know”
“Um. Slay?”
“Yeah!!!”
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“Okay, get a bit closer to the window! Yeah!”
“Amateur.”
“Yeah yeah, get a drink and let the kid have fun”
“She’s adding filters. Instagram filters”
“Mhm. A true crime against humanity, surely.”
“Thank you! You genuinely just have an aura of like, good vibes, y’know?”
“Like not even serving cunt. Serving Womb. You get it?”
“No??”
“Yeah, you get it”
“She’s taken”
“Oh, sorry dude. I’m not trying to steal your wife or whatever. She is mothering though”
“What words are you saying…?”
“No! nonononono! I’m not the one married to her! Please do not repeat that misinformation or Mari will hunt me for sport”
“She’s married to me.”
“Oh shit, I didn’t know this was the Milf train.”
“Nati, stop being a pervert”
“I’m not! Can’t girls support other girls now?”
“Wait. Is that…?”
“Natalia, you dumbass, that’s Marigold Margulis!”
“Wait, really?”
“You two are the lesbian power couple!?”
“That’s. That’s one way to describe it”
“I was wondering who else had bought tickets, but I didn’t expect it to be you!”
“Wouldn’t you rather do this travel by plane? I mean, I get this is supposed to be fancy but like, I’ve seen fancier hotels, you know?”
“It’s nice to try out new things, and my companions enjoy it”
“What about you guys? No offense but you look like the type of guys who take a backpack and just walk”
“Ah, we’ll do that once we get there! We have the whole camping gear ready!”
“We wanted to see what the fuss was all about. So, we got tickets”
“This place barely looks above medium class, though. I think we got scammed.”
(What does the medium class look like then?!)
“Aren’t you judging it too quick? It hasn’t even started moving”
“Well, yeah. If you’re paying for premium, you better get a premium experience form the get go”
“If you hate it so much you can just leave”
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Ah, there it is. Nadia’s uncanny power to make people uneasy and the air a bit heavier.
“It’s- It’s not like we hate it! It’s just… not very trustworthy. Especially considering the history.”
“The history?”
“You don’t know? It’s kinda the reason why we were curious about this place in the first place”
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“They say this train is haunted.”
<-PREV START NEXT->
173 notes · View notes
justarkive · 3 months ago
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TABLE 3 | JJK ch24
*.°* pairing : pre!military jk x waitress/ secret fuckbuddy reader
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"For good service, and cute waitresses."
warnings: smut, alc consumption, fluff, profanity, angst, humour, fluff, celebrity au, idolljungkook, mentions of other kpop groups/idols, inner conflict, insecurity, fluff at the start!! they kiss eachother w lipstick and take pics. but turns sad real quick lol
smut warnings: unprotected sex, they both cry during it, “please dont leave me”, he tries dirty talking mid way and realises thats not what u need, no prep lol, riding, sideways fucking, missionary, aftercare, kissing, its sad but still filthy, oral f receiving, forced eye contact.
wc: longggg
this fic is not meant to represent the real jungkook or any other characters mentioned!
*.°* taglist: @jenniebyrubies @dreamersparacosm @darklove2020 @rayyrayy10 @elinaki92 @alana4610 @bjoriis @kaitieskidmore97 @cuntessaiii @lovingkoalaface @bigsteppagangsterizzie @hangescn @angie-x3
masterlist | < prev, next >
The diner is buzzing today, but you barely hear it.
The hum of conversation, the clatter of plates, the distant sizzle of something frying in the kitchen—it’s all just background noise to the thoughts spinning in your head.
Jungkook rushed out of Nari’s apartment hours ago, muttering something about a last-minute meeting, and you haven’t heard from him since. Not that it’s weird—he’s insanely busy these days, and you’re trying really hard not to let that little fact ruin your mood.
But there’s only three days left.
Three.
When Jungkook told you he had a week left, you didn’t think he meant he was leaving on Friday.
Friday.
And it’s already Tuesday.
And it’s like time is slipping through your fingers no matter how hard you try to hold onto it.
You push through your shift, doing your best to keep up with Nari’s usual antics—she’s thriving off your distracted state, making fun of you for staring into space one too many times—but it’s all so much.
Before you know it, the shift is over.
Nari drops you home, pulling up outside your apartment with a tired sigh. “You okay?” she asks, even though she knows the answer.
You nod. “Yeah.”
She squints at you. “Liar.”
You sniff, and she groans, already regretting asking. “Go call your stupid boyfriend.” She teases.
“He’s not my—”
“Shut up, yes, he is.”
You roll your eyes, shoving her playfully before stepping out of the car. And the second you’re inside, you call Jungkook.
It only rings twice before he picks up. “Hey, baby.”
The sound of his voice makes your heart ache. “I miss you.”
A pause. Then a quiet sigh. “I know. I miss you, too.”
You squeeze your eyes shut, trying so hard to keep your voice steady. “I can’t believe it’s so soon.”
“I know,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry—”
“No, don’t be sorry,” you say quickly. “It’s just… I don’t know. Are you free right now?”
There’s a pause. “Right now?”
“Yeah, now.”
“Shit, baby, I wish—” He sighs again. “I have to be up early tomorrow. I’m seeing my family all day, so I don’t think—”
“You’re not gonna see me tomorrow?”
Jungkook hesitates. “I can drop by in the morning—”
And then— You wail.
Like, full-on dramatic sobbing.
“Noooooo,” you cry, clutching your pillow for emotional support. “Please, don’t gooo, please, Jungkook, I can’t do this—”
“What the fuck—” Jungkook panics. “Baby, stop—”
“Jungkook, I’m gonna diiiieeee,” you wail louder, rolling onto your back. “I can’t live without you for one night, pleaseee—”
“Oh, my fucking—”
“Jungkooooooook—”
“Fine!” he finally yells, defeated. “ Fine, fine, I’ll come, but only for a few hours, stop crying baby I-!”
You immediately stop sniffling. “Really?”
Jungkook squints at his phone. Suspicious.
“Yes, really, but I swear to god, if I show up and you’re asleep, I’ll kill you.”
You beam, wiping your totally fake tears. “Okay, hurry up.”
But then—guilt.
“Oh my god, wait, you don’t have to,” you say quickly. “I’m sorry, you’re probably exhausted, I shouldn’t have—”
“No, it’s fine,” Jungkook interrupts. “Really. I wanna see you anyway. But seriously. Only a few hours, okay?”
“Okay, okay, I promise.”
You don’t.
But he doesn’t have to know that.
Just like you predicted, when Jungkook finally shows up, he looks exhausted.
His eyes are heavy, his shoulders slouched, and the second he steps inside, he lets out a long breath like he’s been waiting all day to finally be here.
And suddenly, you feel so guilty. “I’m sorry,” you say immediately, suddenly feeling small as you stand there in your hoodie. “I shouldn’t have—”
“No, stop,” Jungkook interrupts, shaking his head as he pulls you in. His arms wrap tight around you, and he buries his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling deep. “I love you, okay? We don’t have much time left, so I’m making the most of it.”
You soften. “Okay.”
“Let’s forget about it for now,” he murmurs against your skin before pulling back. “I’m only staying till twelve, so, three hours.”
You pout, already feeling the time slipping away. “That’s not enough.”
Jungkook sighs, brushing his fingers down your cheek. “I’ll stop by in the morning if you really want me to.”
Your eyes widen. “You promise?”
“I promise.”
You hold out your pinky, and Jungkook huffs a laugh before linking his with yours, pressing a kiss to the side of your hand for good measure.
And with that, you both settle into your bedroom, climbing onto your bed like it’s just another normal night. You talk about everything and nothing at the same time, just enjoying each other’s presence, fingers tangled together on the sheets.
At some point, you get curious. “So, what do you think you’ll get up to in the military?”
Jungkook hums, shifting onto his side to look at you. “I don’t know. I’m definitely not excited, but I guess it’ll be nice to have a break.”
You nod, listening intently as he sighs. “Unfortunately, I can’t be in one of the fancier units, though.”
“Why?”
“Visible tattoos,” he shrugs. “You can’t enlist in certain sectors if you have them. I’ll probably end up in something boring.”
Your brows furrow. “Wait—does that mean you’ll still be working out?”
Jungkook gives you a look. “Why do you sound excited?”
You sit up slightly. “Does this mean you’ll get bigger?”
He squints. “Maybe. Yes. I don’t know—do you want me to?”
Your entire face lights up. “Yes, oh my god, yes—” You bounce on the bed, grinning. “Please!”
Jungkook laughs, grabbing your wrists to stop you from shaking the bed. “I’m already big!”
“But imagine— bigger!”
Jungkook groans, flopping onto his back dramatically. “Why do I feel like you’re gonna make me send you muscle updates when I’m there?”
“Oh, I am,” you confirm, grinning. “Get ready for me to demand flexing videos every week.”
He rolls over, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you down until you’re nose to nose. “You’re ridiculous,” he mutters.
You grin.
A few minutes later, you’re perched on Jungkook’s lap, lips fused to his, hands in his hair, completely lost in him. It’s like you can’t help it—like there’s this unspoken rule now that you have to touch him, kiss him, hold onto him as much as possible while you still can.
Jungkook clearly has the same thought, because the second you try pulling back, he’s tugging you right back in, hands firm on your hips.
But you just giggle, pushing at his chest. “No, wait. I have an idea.”
Jungkook groans dramatically, head falling back against the headboard. “Baby, c’mon—”
You ignore him, scrambling for your nightstand until your fingers close around a tube of lipstick.
Jungkook eyes you warily. “What are you doing?”
Instead of answering, you pop the cap off and swipe the color across your lips. Then, before he can react, you lean in and press a kiss to his cheek. Then another. And another.
“Y/N—!” He squirms, laughing as you attack his face, leaving imprints of your lips across his skin. “Stop, that tickles!”
“No,” you say simply, completely unbothered. “You’re cute.”
“Stop calling me cute.”
“You are cute.”
Jungkook groans in defeat, letting you assault his face with kisses while his hands absentmindedly squeeze at your waist.
You grab your Polaroid camera and snap a picture before he can react.
“Hey—!”
Too late. You’re already shaking it, grinning down at the image of his completely kiss-covered face. “Oh, this is going on the wall.”
Jungkook watches as you add it right next to the first-ever picture you took of him—the one where he was buried under your plushies.
The little collection is growing.
You turn back to him. “Okay, take your shirt off.”
Jungkook perks up. “Oh?” He doesn’t hesitate, tugging it over his head in one smooth motion.
You beam. “Good.” Then, you lean down and repeat the process—pressing kisses along his collarbones, his chest, each of his abs—until he’s laughing, trying to twist away from the ticklish sensation.
“Baby—stop, I can’t—”
“Nope.” You snap another picture of him, now covered in even more lipstick stains. “I win.”
Jungkook watches as you struggle to find more space on the wall, eventually just sticking them in random spots. One even goes into your phone case.
“You’re insane,” he mutters, shaking his head.
“You love it.”
He hums, and then, suddenly, “My turn.”
You blink. “What? No—”
Too late. He grabs the lipstick from your hand, rolling you onto your back in one swift motion. “Stay still,” he murmurs, straddling your waist.
“Jungkook—”
“Shhh,” he hushes you, uncapping the lipstick. His touch is slow, careful as he smears the color across his lips. His fingers linger against your jaw, his eyes heavy-lidded as he takes you in.
You’re blushing, gripping at his arm for support.
Compared to how frantic you were before, Jungkook is slow.
Painfully, teasingly slow.
And when he finally leans down, he starts his attack—pressing deliberate kisses all over your cheeks, your jaw, your collarbone, your neck—taking his sweet time.
You squirm, flustered, but he just smirks. “What? You don’t like it when it’s you?”
You grab a pillow and whack him with it.
Jungkook cackles, reaching for your camera. “How do I use this thing?”
You scoff. “Oh, so you’re not a camera expert anymore?”
“I don’t know how to use your kiddie camera.”
You gasp, offended. “It’s not a kiddie camera! It’s a Polaroid, for your information.”
Jungkook grins. “I know how to use it—I just wanted you to teach me.”
You roll your eyes, guiding his hands over the camera. “Like this.”
Jungkook snaps a bunch of pictures of you, grinning at the results. But instead of giving them to you, he tucks a few into his pocket.
“What are you doing?” you ask.
“I’m keeping them.”
You pause, realizing. “Will you look at them when you’re gone?”
He shrugs, smiling softly. “Maybe.”
The mood shifts. You’re both curled up in bed now, Jungkook holding you close, rubbing small circles on your back. You feel him shift, checking the time.
“Babe, I have to leave soon.”
You tense. “I know.”
And then it hits you again.
An hour left until he has to go.
Three days left until he’s gone for real.
Jungkook knows you’re thinking about it—he sees it in your face. So he tightens his hold on you, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I promise I’ll come by tomorrow.”
You nod. “I know.”
“I’ll text you. I’ll update you about everything.”
“You don’t have to,” you murmur. “I know you’ll miss your family, too.”
Jungkook sighs. “Yeah. I will.”
And then you realize—it’s not just you he’s leaving.
It’s his family. His members. His fans.
It’s everyone.
And suddenly, you feel selfish.
Jungkook notices the shift in you immediately, his hand finding your cheek. “Hey. You’re okay. I promise.”
You don’t answer. But you do let yourself relax into him, nuzzling into his chest, letting his heartbeat soothe you. Eventually, you drift off—still covered in his kisses.
Jungkook waits until you’re fully asleep before gently rummaging through your nightstand, looking for wipes. He knows what it’s like to fall asleep with makeup on—it always makes him feel gross in the morning—so he carefully cleans the lipstick off your skin, making sure to be gentle as you unconsciously nuzzle into his touch.
When he’s done, he presses a kiss to your forehead. Then another. And another.
He doesn’t want to leave.
Not now. Not in three days.
He debates staying, but then you stir, your brows furrowing slightly, and he knows he can’t.
So instead, he whispers, “I love you so much.”
And even in your sleep, you mewl at the sound of it, your body immediately relaxing, like it’s enough for now.
Jungkook stands there for a moment, just watching you, before finally slipping out of bed.
He takes in the sight of your room—the little details, the chaos, the way it perfectly reflects you—and he finds himself smiling.
His eyes land on your Polaroid wall, at all the little moments captured there.
He debates taking down one of the pictures you took of him earlier, thinking he doesn’t look great in it, but in the end, he leaves it. And just before he leaves, he snaps one last picture of you—fast asleep, peaceful, his favorite sight in the world.
——
Jungkook drives home in silence.
The whole way there, his heart feels full—so much so that it’s almost enough to distract him from what’s coming. Almost.
But then, the second he steps into his apartment, the feeling changes. He goes through the motions—taking off his shoes, tossing his bag onto the couch, getting ready for bed—but it all feels too normal. Like it’s just another night. Like tomorrow won’t be another countdown to leaving.
And the second he touches his bed, it hits him all at once. The sob breaks out of him before he can even stop it. He curls in on himself, gripping his sheets, his chest aching in a way he can’t even describe.
He doesn’t want to go.
He doesn’t want to go.
And before he can even think about it, his fingers are already dialing your number.
It rings once.
Twice.
Three times. No answer.
You’re asleep.
He knows he shouldn’t wake you up, so he stops himself from calling again—but the loneliness is too much, the silence in his apartment is too loud, and before he knows it, he’s calling again.
But not you this time.
Namjoon answers on the second ring. “Hello?”
Jungkook chokes on a sob. “Hyung—”
“Jungkook? What’s wrong?”
And then it all comes out.
“I don’t want to go,” Jungkook cries, his chest heaving as he grips the phone like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. His voice is raw, cracking under the weight of everything. “I don’t—I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to leave her—”
Namjoon sighs on the other end, the kind of sigh that carries years of understanding. The kind that says, I know this hurts.
“I know,” he says softly.
“I can’t do it,” Jungkook gasps, shaking his head even though Namjoon can’t see him. “I can’t—I can’t wake up tomorrow and pretend everything’s fine. It’s not fine. I just—” His voice breaks, and the silence that follows is filled with his quiet, shaking breaths.
“You have to,” Namjoon says after a beat, gentle but firm. “You knew this day would come. It’s not forever, Jungkook.”
Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut. “It feels like forever.”
Namjoon hums, thoughtful. “She took you back, right?”
Jungkook nods through his tears, even though Namjoon isn’t there to see it. “Yeah.”
“Then she’ll wait for you.”
Jungkook’s throat tightens. He wants to believe that—he really does. But the fear is suffocating.
“What if she doesn’t?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper. “What if she moves on? What if—” His voice cracks again, and he bites his lip hard to keep it together. “I love her. I told her, properly this time. At the beach. And she—she looked at me like I was her whole world.”
Namjoon is quiet for a moment. Then, softly, “Then trust her, Jungkook.”
Jungkook sniffles. “But what if—”
Namjoon cuts him off, echoing his words from when he’d given him advice a long time ago, “Then that’s a risk you have to take.”
Jungkook hates that answer. Because it’s not the reassurance he wants. It’s not a guarantee. But he knows Namjoon is right.
His fingers loosen around his phone, exhausted, defeated. “I watched her fall asleep earlier,” he murmurs, his voice thick. “She was just… there. So warm. So peaceful. Like she knew she was safe with me.”
Namjoon hums again, quieter this time. “And you’ll have that again. Maybe not soon. Maybe not next month. But you will.”
Jungkook swallows down another sob. “I don’t want to do this without her.”
“You’re not doing this without her,” Namjoon corrects him. “She’s still with you. And if she’s the one, she’ll still be there when you come back.”
Jungkook doesn’t reply. He just breathes, listening to Namjoon’s steady presence on the other end. It’s quiet, the only sound their breathing, and somehow, that makes it easier.
Eventually, exhaustion wins.
Jungkook drifts off, his phone still in his hand, with Namjoon still on the line
——
When Jungkook wakes up, it’s to his alarm blaring at 5 AM.
His head is heavy, his throat is dry from crying, but he doesn’t have time to dwell on it—he has to meet his family soon.
Without thinking, he reaches for his phone. His fingers type out a message before he can overthink it.
Jungkook [5:07 AM]: hi baby, im coming in like an hour. do you want anything?
No response. You’re probably still asleep.
He sighs, pushing himself out of bed, rubbing at his tired eyes. Then, he hops in the shower, letting the water wash away everything from the night before. There’s still some remnants on lipstick on his chest and his abdomen and he scrubs away even if it physically hurts him to.
When he steps out, he doesn’t check his phone right away. Because if you haven’t responded yet, he’s not sure if he can handle that feeling right now. Jungkook gets in his car, barely even processing the motion of turning the keys in the ignition. His mind is elsewhere.
Two days.
Two days is nothing.
Today and tomorrow.
He exhales sharply through his nose, gripping the steering wheel a little too tight as he pulls out onto the road. He knows today is supposed to be for his family. He’s not mad about it—he misses them, and he wants to see them before he goes.
But at the same time…
He’d rather be with you.
He shakes the thought away, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he focuses on driving. Not like it matters. He still has this morning, at least.
His stomach grumbles, but instead of stopping somewhere for himself, he takes a sharp turn, heading towards a tiny, shitty food truck that he knows has just opened for the morning. The kind of place that only locals know about, nothing fancy, nothing overhyped—just good, simple food.
You’d love it.
So he pulls up without hesitation, quickly placing an order for pancakes and waiting impatiently, checking the time on his phone every other second.
5:30 AM.
He still has time. It’s not enough, but it’ll have to be. His fingers tap against his thigh as he debates his next move.
The field.
His chest clenches at the thought.
Fuck it. By the time he gets his order, he’s already made up his mind. The drive to the field is second nature at this point, muscle memory guiding him as he turns onto the small, secluded road leading there.
When he finally parks, he steps out, stretching his arms with a sigh as the cool morning air washes over him. The sun isn’t fully up yet, but there’s a soft golden glow in the distance, and for a moment, Jungkook just stands there, taking it in.
He wonders if you’re awake yet.
He wonders if you’d be mad if you knew he was here without you.
But he doesn’t dwell on it for long—he steps forward, wandering into the field, eyes scanning for the small patches of daisies that always seem to grow in the same spots.
It takes a few minutes, but he finds them, crouching down and picking a few with careful hands, letting the scent of the fresh petals fill his nose.
And then, without wasting another second, he’s back in his car, pancakes in one hand, flowers in the other, driving straight to your apartment.
Jungkook knocks, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he glances down at the bag of pancakes in his hand and the small bunch of daisies in the other.
It’s almost six now.
It takes a bit longer than usual for you to answer, and he figures you’re probably still asleep. He doesn’t mind waiting.
And then, finally—
The door creaks open, and—
Oh.
His heart clenches so hard it almost fucking hurts.
You’re standing there, still groggy with sleep, wearing a t-shirt that barely covers the tops of your thighs, your hair messy from sleep, one eye squinted shut as you rub at it lazily. You let out a soft yawn, blinking at him like you’re still processing the fact that he’s even here.
And then—
Your eyes widen, fully waking up as you beam at him, and before he can even get a word out, you reach forward, tugging him inside by the sleeve of his hoodie and wrapping your arms around him.
Jungkook barely has time to react before he’s melting into you, inhaling the faint traces of your shampoo as he buries his face in the crook of your neck.
You’re so warm.
And it sucks.
It fucking sucks that he only has two days left with you.
But for now—for you, and for himself—he pretends that he’s not leaving at all.
Jungkook expects you to pull him into the kitchen like always, maybe tease him for being up so early, maybe sit across from him at the counter as you both eat.
Instead—
You take the bag from his hands, peeking inside curiously. “What’s this?”
He raises a brow. “Pancakes. And flowers. Duh.”
You smile, stepping closer to press a soft kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, baby.”
His heart stutters.
But before he can say anything, you drop the bag on the counter and—
Take his hand.
And pull him toward your bedroom.
Jungkook blinks. Wait.
He’s confused for a second, expecting you to sit him down or do something—but you just stand there, looking a little sheepish, rubbing at your arm before mumbling—
“Can you just… hold me?”
His chest tightens.
For a second, all he can do is stare. And then, he tugs you in gently, leading you back to the bed without another word. You follow without hesitation, crawling under the sheets as he settles in beside you.
You snuggle into his side immediately, arms wrapped around his waist, face tucked into his chest, your breath warm against his skin. Jungkook exhales deeply, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, his arms winding securely around you.
Two days.
He pretends it’s forever.
The room is quiet.
Neither of you really sleep. You just lay there, wrapped up in each other, lost in silence. Jungkook keeps his eyes on the ceiling, willing himself not to cry. He counts his breaths, focuses on the steady rhythm of your fingers tracing slow, absentminded circles against his ribs. Every touch feels like a memory being burned into his skin.
He swallows.
Two days. And then, he feels it.
The slight tremble of your body against his. The way your breath starts to hitch. Jungkook’s brows furrow, and he tilts his head to look at you.
And that’s when he sees—
The tears slipping down your cheeks, soaking into his shirt.
His stomach drops.
“Baby…,” he whispers, heart clenching as he cups your cheek, trying to tilt your face toward his. “Are you okay?”
You don’t answer. You just break.
“Please don’t go,” you sob, gripping his shirt in your fists like it’s the only thing keeping you together. “Jungkook, please, don’t—please—”
His chest caves in.
“Baby,” he whispers, his own voice shaking now, his throat burning as he tries to hold it together.
But he can’t. Not when you’re begging like this.
Not when he has no choice but to leave.
He tightens his grip around you, presses his face into your hair, kisses your temple between ragged breaths.
“I’m sorry,” he chokes out, because he doesn’t know what else to say. Because what else is there to say?
You keep crying.
Jungkook just holds you tighter, like maybe if he holds you tight enough, neither of you will have to let go.
Jungkook exhales shakily, his forehead pressed against yours, his own tears mixing with yours. Your breath is uneven, your body trembling against his, and he doesn’t know what to do. Doesn’t know how to make this better.
So he kisses you.
Soft, at first. A silent plea, a desperate apology. His lips catch your cries, drinking them in like they’re the last thing he’ll ever have of you. He feels the way your hands fist into his shirt tighter, pulling him closer like you want to crawl into him, like you never want there to be space between you again.
And then you kiss him back.
It’s messy, wet from tears, but you don’t care. Your lips move against his with urgency, with something bordering on desperation, and Jungkook groans softly when you press closer, shifting in his lap, making it impossible for him to think of anything but you.
You break away for a moment, but he doesn’t let you go far. He chases after you, lips brushing yours as he breathes out, “Y/N—”
And then you’re kissing him again.
Harder, needier.
Jungkook tilts his head, deepens the kiss, one hand slipping under your shirt to press against the warm skin of your waist. His thumb traces over your hip bone, slow, teasing, grounding himself in the feel of you.
Because this—
This is what he wants to remember.
The way you taste, the way you sound when he swallows down another whimper, the way you need him like he needs you.
And when you shift again, rolling your hips against his, your hands slipping beneath his hoodie—
Jungkook loses himself completely.
Your hands tremble as they push his hoodie up, fingertips trailing over the warmth of his skin. You’re not just touching him—you’re memorizing him, pressing your palms flat against his stomach like you can carve the shape of him into your skin, like you can hold onto him in a way time won’t steal from you.
Jungkook shudders beneath your touch, a sharp breath stuttering against your lips. “Baby,” he whispers, voice wrecked, pleading, but he doesn’t know what for. For you to slow down? To never stop? To let him drown in you until he forgets he ever has to leave?
He doesn’t know.
But then you’re kissing him again—slower this time, softer. Like you’re trying to soothe the ache neither of you can put into words. Your lips are swollen, warm, and Jungkook melts into you when your fingers slide into his hair, pulling, tugging, grounding him.
His hands roam too—sweeping over your back, gripping at your waist like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go. He feels the way your body moves with his, how perfectly you fit against him, and it makes something inside him snap.
“Please,” you whisper, pressing your forehead to his. “Jungkook, please.”
And he knows what you’re asking for.
His hands shake as he peels your shirt off, as he presses reverent kisses down your throat, over your collarbones, his lips mapping out every inch of skin he can reach. His name leaves your lips in a breathless sigh when he takes one of your breasts into his mouth, his tongue slow and worshipful, hands gripping your hips like he’s trying to hold himself together.
But it’s useless.
Because you’re moving against him, rolling your hips in time with the soft sucks of his mouth, and his resolve is crumbling.
You tilt his face up, guiding him back to your lips, and when your thighs tighten around him, he knows he’s lost.
Your fingers tremble as they trace the shape of his face, committing every dip and curve to memory. The slope of his nose, the fullness of his lips, the sharp cut of his jawline. You look at him like you’ll never get to again, and the thought alone makes fresh tears sting your eyes.
Jungkook notices. Of course he does.
“Baby,” he whispers, voice thick, strained. He lifts a hand to wipe at your tears, but before he can, you’re leaning in—pressing a kiss to his forehead.
He stills beneath you.
He’s always the one giving you forehead kisses, tucking you close, making you feel safe, adored. They’re your favorite—always have been. But now, it’s you pressing one to his skin, letting your lips linger against the warmth of him, as if you can pour all your love into this one kiss.
Jungkook exhales sharply. His throat bobs as he swallows hard, like he’s trying to hold back something thick and uncontainable. But you don’t let him—don’t let him retreat into that quiet sadness.
Instead, you kiss him again. And again.
Soft, lingering presses of your lips along his temples, down to the curve of his cheekbone. Then his nose. His jaw.
“I love you,” you whisper between each kiss, voice trembling but sure. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
Jungkook shatters.
His hands tighten on your waist, like he wants to pull you in, fuse you to him, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t interrupt. Just lets you continue, lets you map out every inch of his body with your mouth.
You kiss down his throat, feeling the way it vibrates as he exhales shakily, his pulse hammering against your lips. You don’t stop. Your fingers slide beneath the hem of his hoodie, peeling it away from his skin. The fabric lifts easily, exposing the smooth planes of his chest, and you waste no time pressing your mouth to the skin there, too.
His collarbones, his shoulders, the firm stretch of his arms—everywhere you can reach, you kiss. Slow, reverent. Worshipful.
By the time you’re tugging at his waistband, Jungkook is a mess beneath you—his chest rising and falling rapidly, his fingers digging into the sheets like they’re the only thing tethering him to reality.
And when you press a final, lingering kiss to the inside of his thigh, Jungkook exhales a shaky, wrecked, “Baby…”
Like he’s already breaking.
Like he doesn’t know how to survive this kind of love.
Jungkook’s hands tremble where they grip your waist, his breath ragged as you press kiss after kiss into his skin—his chest, his stomach, the sharp cut of his hip. You’re not thinking anymore, not planning. Just feeling. Memorizing.
Your fingers slide beneath his waistband, tugging. He lifts his hips instinctively, letting you strip away the last barrier between you, and you don’t waste a second. You straddle him, chest heaving, tears still streaking your cheeks as you take him in your hand, guiding him to where you need him most.
Jungkook stiffens. “Wait, baby, you need—”
You don’t let him finish.
You sink down in one motion, gasping as he fills you, as your body stretches to accommodate him, as he presses so deep it knocks the air from your lungs.
Jungkook’s head snaps back against the pillow. His mouth falls open, a choked groan breaking from his throat as his hands fly to your hips, gripping tight like he’s trying to ground himself, trying not to lose it completely.
“Fuck—” His voice is wrecked. “Baby, you—shit, you didn’t—”
You shake your head frantically, cutting him off, pressing a palm over his mouth as your whole body trembles. You don’t care. You don’t care. You just need him.
“Please,” you whisper, your voice breaking, your nails digging into his chest. “Please don’t go.”
Jungkook’s entire body tenses beneath you.
Your hand falls from his mouth, sliding up to cup his face, thumbs brushing his cheekbones as you lean in. Your lips ghost over his, but you don’t kiss him. Just breathe him in, feel the warmth of his skin, the way he’s shaking from the effort of holding himself together.
“What am I gonna do without you?” Your voice cracks. A fresh wave of tears spills over, dripping onto his cheeks. “I don’t know how to be without you, Jungkook.”
His jaw clenches, his brows furrowing in raw agony. He shakes his head, like he wants to say something, like he wants to comfort you, but he can’t. Because he doesn’t know how.
Because he doesn’t know how to be without you either.
And then you move.
You roll your hips, slow, deep, and Jungkook breaks.
A strangled groan rips from his throat, his hands flying to your ass, gripping hard, as if he can somehow press you closer, somehow keep you here. His head tilts back, exposing his throat, and you kiss him there, feeling the way he swallows thickly beneath your lips.
You lift yourself up and sink down again, choking on a sob as he fills you, as he stretches you so perfectly it hurts. But it’s good. It’s right. Like he belongs here.
Like he belongs with you.
Jungkook pants beneath you, his fingers digging into your skin, but he doesn’t rush you. Just lets you take what you need, lets you set the pace, lets you use him the way he wants to use you.
For comfort. For love. For something to hold onto when everything else is slipping away.
And when you look down at him, when your eyes meet his—
Jungkook looks ruined.
His bottom lip trembles, his dark eyes glassy, pleading, like he’s trying so fucking hard not to cry, trying so fucking hard to be strong.
And you can’t take it.
You bury your face in his shoulder, sobbing against his skin, whispering please, please, please between every ragged breath.
Jungkook presses a hand to the back of your head, cradling you close, his lips finding your temple.
“I love you,” he breathes, voice shaking. “I love you, I love you—”
And then his hands are gripping tighter, his hips rising to meet yours, and you know he’s losing himself, giving himself to you the same way you’re giving yourself to him.
Because there’s no tomorrow.
Not yet.
Right now, there’s only this.
You don’t know how you find the strength to do it.
To lift your head. To force your hands to loosen from their desperate clutch on his body. To just look at him.
Jungkook is barely holding himself together. His chest rises and falls in uneven breaths, his lashes damp, his lips swollen and parted like he’s trying to catch the words before they escape him. But you see it in his eyes.
He’s breaking.
And you don’t have time for that.
You don’t have time for any of it.
So you do the only thing you can.
You push through it. You suck it up.
You exhale shakily, press your forehead to his, and whisper, “Jungkook.”
His eyes flutter shut for half a second, like he’s trying to memorize the way you say his name, the way your breath warms his lips, the way your voice trembles but still holds him.
And then you move.
You wrap your arms around his neck, holding on like it’s the only thing keeping you from falling apart, your fingers slipping into his hair as you rock your hips against him, slow, deep, dragging him into you over and over and over again.
Jungkook sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth, his hands skimming up your back, gripping tight, his nails digging in just enough to ground himself.
And then he’s breathing it back.
“I love you.”
You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut, pressing your lips to his jaw, his cheek, his temple.
“I love you, I love you so much—”
He gasps, his grip tightening, his head tilting back just slightly, enough for you to kiss down his throat, to feel the way he swallows against your lips, to hear the way his breath hitches.
“Please don’t go.”
Jungkook chokes on a sound that’s not quite a sob, not quite a moan, something raw and shattered and so fucking helpless.
And then his arms lock around you, crushing you against him, as he buries his face in your shoulder, his voice breaking completely.
“I don’t wanna go.”
Your entire body tenses. Your breath stutters in your throat.
“I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go—”
It’s the first time he’s said it. The first time he’s let it slip, the first time he’s let himself admit it—that he doesn’t want to leave you. That it’s killing him. That if he had a choice, if the world would just fucking let him—
He would stay.
Your nails sink into his skin, your hips grinding down harder, desperate, frantic, like you can somehow make him stay, like you can fuse yourself to him, like you can press him so deep inside you that he’ll never leave.
“Then stay,” you whisper.
Jungkook’s breath shudders against your skin, his fingers curling into your flesh like he wants to.
Like he wants to so fucking bad.
He doesn’t know what to do with this, with you, with the weight of everything pressing into his chest like a vice. He’s gripping onto you like you’ll slip through his fingers the second he lets go, like he’ll wake up tomorrow and you’ll be nothing but a dream.
“Then stay.”
Your words echo in his skull, looping, endless, clawing at something deep inside him.
He can’t.
He wants to. But he can’t.
And so—he panics.
“Gonna miss this pussy so much,” he mutters, his voice strained, desperate, trying to ground himself in something, anything, trying to fill the unbearable silence that follows his own fucking admission. His hands skim down your back, gripping your hips, fingers digging into your skin.
“Miss feeling you wrapped around me like this—”
You inhale sharply, body tensing, and—fuck.
No.
No, that’s not what you need.
Jungkook realizes it the second the words leave his mouth. The second he hears himself, hears how it sounds—like he’s trying to distract himself, like he’s trying to make this just about fucking when it’s so much more.
He hears the way your breath shakes, how your grip loosens ever so slightly, how you start to pull away—
And he panics again.
“Shit—baby—”
His body moves before his mind catches up.
He flips you over in one swift motion, pressing you into the mattress, his breath ragged, his heart pounding, something frantic and terrified behind his eyes as he cages you beneath him.
Your wide, tear-filled gaze meets his, your lip trembling, and Jungkook’s entire body locks up.
Fuck.
He nearly loses it right then and there. Nearly breaks. But instead—he just moves.
He doesn’t know how to make this better. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to fix the mess he’s made.
So he just— Kisses you.
Soft.
Deep.
He pours everything into it, every unspoken word, every apology, every ounce of guilt, every single part of him that belongs to you.
His hands trace up your sides, slow, deliberate, like he’s trying to commit you to memory.
Like he’s trying to hold on just a little longer.
Jungkook collapses against you.
All of his weight, all of his warmth, all of him—pressing you into the mattress, crushing you, suffocating you, swallowing you whole.
And you let him.
Because if he’s on you, if he’s in you, if he’s covering every inch of your body with his, then maybe—just maybe—you won’t have to face the sight of him leaving.
“Fuck—”
His breath stutters against your neck, his voice wrecked, helpless, and the only thing keeping him from fully melting into you is the slow, deep drag of his hips, the way he’s sinking into you like he never wants to leave.
Like he never wants to stop.
“Jungkook—”
His name leaves your lips in a desperate sob, your hands clawing at him, grasping, clutching, threading through his hair, pressing into his back, like you’re begging him to stay.
His jaw clenches, his fingers digging into the sheets on either side of your head, his entire body trembling with the weight of his own emotions.
“I love you,” you whisper, voice breaking, lips brushing the shell of his ear. “I love you so much—please, please—”
Jungkook’s body locks up.
You feel the sharp, unsteady inhale against your throat, the way his hips slow, the way his entire frame shudders above you.
And then. He moves. Faster. Harder.
Like he’s trying to drown himself in you.
Like he’s trying to answer you in the only way he can.
“I don’t wanna go,” he chokes out, voice thick, breath ragged. His hands find yours, fisting them into the sheets, lacing your fingers together, grounding himself in the way you squeeze back. “Fuck, baby, I don’t wanna go—”
But he has to.
And you both know it.
You barely notice when Jungkook shifts, when he maneuvers you onto your side with him, pulling you flush against his chest, his body curving around yours like he’s shielding you from reality itself.
But you do notice the way he rolls his hips against you, slow, deliberate, grinding against your soaked, swollen folds like he’s trying to commit the sensation to memory.
And fuck—
Maybe he is.
“Jungkook—”
His name comes out in a breathy whimper, your head tipping back against his shoulder, your hand scrambling for purchase over the strong muscle of his forearm, his bicep—anything to keep you grounded.
Because his cock—hot, heavy, throbbing—keeps pressing against your entrance, sliding through the slick mess of your arousal, teasing, toying, like he wants to sink in but can’t bring himself to do it yet.
Like he isn’t ready.
“Shh, baby—” His voice is hoarse, thick with something unreadable. His lips press against your bare shoulder, dragging over your skin, his nose brushing along your throat as he breathes you in. “Just let me—”
His mouth trails lower.
And lower.
Until he reaches your chest.
His arm tightens around your waist as he dips his head, lips finding the curve of your breast, pressing a soft, lingering kiss there before his tongue flicks over your nipple.
And you swear—
It’s not even lustful.
It’s worship.
The way his mouth latches around the sensitive bud, the way his hand cups your other breast, kneading, memorizing, the way he hums against you, like he wants to take his time, like he wants to savor every inch of you.
“Jungkook, please—“
He shudders. You feel it against your spine, the way his breath stutters, the way his hips jerk forward, pressing his length right against where you need him.
“I know, baby,” he murmurs, voice strained, mouth still pressing kisses over the swell of your chest, over your racing heart. “I know—”
And then he grabs your chin. Tilts your head back—forces you to look at him.
That’s his breaking point.
Because the second your glassy eyes meet his, the second he sees the devastation mirrored in them, the reality of it all crashes into him.
And he crumbles. “Fuck—”
A strangled sob rips from his throat as he buries his face in your neck, pressing impossibly closer, hips stuttering as he finally pushes inside.
And then—
You’re both crying.
Sobbing into each other’s skin, moaning between gasps of breath, holding onto one another like it’s the last time.
Because it is.
Jungkook’s hand slides under your neck, cradling it, supporting your head as he tilts your chin back, exposing the vulnerable column of your throat to him. And then—
He pulls you closer.
Flush against him, like he wants to melt into you, fuse your bodies together until there’s nothing separating you anymore.
“Baby—” His voice is broken, wrecked, his breath hot against your skin as he presses his forehead into the back of your head, lips parting against your damp, heated flesh.
And then—
He opens you up.
His hand skims down, trembling fingers slipping between your thighs, urging them wider, needing to feel more of you, needing to bury himself so deep you’ll still feel him even after he’s gone.
And you let him.
You let him spread you open, let him take you, let him push in harder—
Until he’s slamming his hips against you in deep, desperate thrusts, shaking with the force of it, choking on every ragged breath, every shuddering gasp.
And god—
You’re both crying.
Crying into each other’s mouths, into each other’s skin, tears mixing with sweat as you claw at his arms, at the hand cradling your neck, clinging to him, needing him closer, harder, deeper.
“Jungkook—please—”
You don’t even know what you’re begging for anymore.
To stay? To never stop? To love you forever?
But he does.
And it destroys him.
“I don’t wanna go—” he gasps, voice cracking, hips jerking forward as he buries his face in your neck, body shuddering against yours. “Fuck, baby, I don’t—I can’t—”
You feel his tears hot against your skin, feel the way his arms tighten around you like he’s afraid to let go, afraid to leave, and god—
You can’t stop touching him.
Your hands are everywhere—gripping his wrist where it holds your neck, clutching at his forearm, dragging over the sweat-slicked muscle of his thigh, his stomach, memorizing the hard planes of his body the way he’s trying to memorize you.
Because this—
This is all you have left.
Your hands come up—shaking, desperate—gripping his wrists, stopping him from moving.
And then—
You push him.
Jungkook barely has time to catch himself before he’s on his back, chest rising and falling in unsteady gasps as you hover above him, eyes wet, cheeks damp, tears slipping down your chin.
You sniffle, rubbing at them frantically, like if you just wipe them away, maybe this won’t feel so real.
But it is real.
He’s leaving.
And there’s nothing you can do about it.
A broken sob spills from your lips as you lower yourself back down, knees pressing into the mattress, hands trembling as you splay them over his chest—warm, solid, here.
And then—
You nuzzle into his neck.
Curl into him like you’re trying to disappear inside of him, like if you press yourself close enough, maybe you won’t have to let him go.
His hands find your hips, big and steady, guiding you gently—up, down, slow, like he’s trying to lull you, soothe you, even as his own breath shudders with restraint.
“Shh,” he whispers, lips brushing your temple, voice thick, aching.
But you can’t.
You can’t stop crying, can’t stop the way your fingers tangle in his hair, can’t stop the way your lips press to his forehead like you’re trying to imprint the words into him—
“I’ll miss you so much—”
A sharp inhale against your skin.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving me—please, please don’t do this—”
His arms tighten around you, pulling you closer, but it’s not enough.
It’ll never be enough.
You sniffle again, shaking your head, pressing your forehead against his, tears slipping between your lips as you whimper—
“I miss you—”
And Jungkook breaks. Because you say it like he’s already gone.
A strangled noise rips from his throat as his grip on your waist tightens, arms wrapping fully around you, locking you against him as he thrusts up, rolling his hips into yours, trying to chase something he doesn’t know how to hold onto.
“Baby, please—”
His voice cracks, raw, wrecked, and god—
He’s getting harder.
Because he can feel it—the grief, the desperation, the fucking longing—twisting into something unbearable, something that only makes him want you more, love you more, need you more.
“Please don’t say that,” he rasps, burying his face in your shoulder, breath hot, uneven. “I love you so much—so fucking much—”
And then—
He takes over.
Because your pace is faltering, your body trembling from the weight of it all, from the sheer, devastating force of what you’re about to lose.
And Jungkook—
Jungkook can’t let you bear it alone.
But then—
Jungkook pulls you back.
His hands come up—big, warm, trembling—and they cup your face, fingers pressing into the damp skin of your cheeks, thumbs catching stray tears that refuse to stop falling.
You resist.
You don’t want to look at him.
You can’t bear it.
But he won’t let you hide. “Baby—” His voice is a wreck, breathless and broken, and he forces your forehead against his, holds you there, his grip firm but careful, like he’s afraid you might shatter in his hands.
“I love you,” he murmurs, over and over, lips brushing yours with every shaky exhale. “I love you so fucking much, I’ll be back, I swear I’ll be back—”
And you just shake your head, tears slipping onto his skin, slipping between your lips as you sob.
“But you’ll be gone—”
Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut.
“You won’t be here—”
His chest is heaving, his entire body shuddering beneath you, his fingers digging into your skin as you whisper, “I’ll miss this. I’ll miss you.”
And then he breaks. “I know,” he chokes, voice cracking, eyes squeezing shut. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry—”
And then—
“Just—just let go for me.”
It’s not a command. It’s a plea.
Because it hurts—
It hurts to feel you like this, to hear you like this, to know that he’s about to leave you like this.
So you do. You let go. You both do.
You scream.
It’s not just pleasure.
It’s everything.
It’s grief and desperation and love and loss, and Jungkook takes it all, swallows it down as his own release rips through him, as he gasps into your mouth, as he lets go right alongside you.
And then—
Then he breathes.
He breathes into your mouth like it’s his only supply of air, like he’s trying to fill you with everything he has left to give.
Like if he breathes deep enough—
Maybe he can stay.
——
Jungkook is still moving inside you.
Barely.
Just these tiny, barely-there thrusts, like he’s trying to soothe you, like he’s trying to lull you down from everything, from the wreckage of it all.
Your sobs have quieted.
You’re just breathing now. Blank, staring past his shoulder, into the dark, your body heavy against him.
And Jungkook hates it.
He rubs a hand down your back, slow and steady, pressing you closer, whispering soft things against your temple—your name, baby, I love you, I’ve got you.
And then, gently— “Baby, can you lift yourself?”
You just shake your head. Barely make a sound, just this tiny, broken grunt that he feels more than hears.
And he laughs.
Sniffles, still recovering, his chest still shaking from the mess of it all, but he laughs—just a little, just enough.
“Okay, okay,” he murmurs, voice thick, and then—
He lifts you.
His cock bends in an uncomfortable way, and he hisses, but it slips out, and he doesn’t care—not about the sting, not about the way you’re leaking onto his stomach, not about anything except the way you nuzzle into his neck like you never want to leave.
And then—
“That was really fucking sad.” Your voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper, but the words cut through the thick, heavy silence, and Jungkook laughs.
Like, actually laughs.
Because, fuck, it really was.
He keeps laughing for a second, shaking his head, still wiping at his face, still recovering, and then—
Then he softens. Then he looks at you, tucking the damp strands of hair away from your face, and says—
“I’m sorry.”
Soft, real.
And then he leans in, kisses your forehead the same way he always does—
The same way that makes your heart ache.
The same way that makes you feel loved.
And you breathe.
You breathe, and you whisper, “I know. I’m sorry for breaking down like that. I don’t know why—”
“No.” Jungkook shakes his head, firm. “No, you’re not the one who should be sorry right now. It’s me.”
And for a second, you don’t say anything.
You just look at him—his wet lashes, his swollen lips, the raw emotion still lingering in his eyes—
And then—
You press a kiss to his forehead.
Just soft. Just gentle.
And Jungkook freezes. Because you’ve never done that before.
His breath catches, his eyes flicker shut, and when he exhales, it’s shaky, but so, so full of warmth. Jungkook doesn’t say anything at first. He just breathes, coming down from the high of you, his fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on your bare hip, grounding himself in the warmth of your skin.
And then he sees the time.
Shit.
He doesn’t let you notice, though. He forces himself to stay in the moment for a little longer, brushing your hair back, pressing a soft kiss to your temple before he sits up, slipping out of bed.
“Come on, baby,” he murmurs, voice low and raspy. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
You let him, let him help you into the bathroom, let him be gentle with you. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it, just wets a washcloth and runs it over your skin, his touch careful, reverent. He presses another kiss to your forehead before handing you a fresh pair of clothes.
“Go eat,” he says. “I’ll be out in a sec.”
You don’t argue, slipping into the kitchen while he gathers himself. When he finally comes out, you’re already halfway through your now cold pancakes, sitting on the counter, swinging your legs absentmindedly.
He watches you for a second, committing it to memory.
Then, finally, he checks the time.
Eight. He’s already late.
He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Baby, I gotta go.”
You pause mid-bite, your expression dropping just slightly before you school it into something neutral. “Oh,” you say. “Right.”
Jungkook steps between your legs, hands coming up to hold your face. You lean into his touch immediately, and something about it makes his chest ache.
“You’ll be okay,” he murmurs, thumb brushing over your cheek.
You know he doesn’t just mean tonight.
You nod, forcing a small smile. “You’ll text me?”
“Of course.”
And then he kisses you, slow and lingering, like he’s trying to make it last. Like he wants you to remember.
You will.
Jungkook lingers in the doorway, looking at you like he doesn’t want to leave. Like he’s willing himself to step out, to break the moment before it breaks him.
“I love you,” he says, voice soft.
Your throat tightens. “I love you too.”
He presses one last kiss to your forehead, squeezing your waist before finally pulling away.
“Bye, baby,” he murmurs.
You swallow hard. “Bye.”
And then he’s gone.
The door clicks shut, and you just… stare at it.
You don’t know how long you stay there, sitting on the counter, breakfast forgotten, staring at the empty space where Jungkook just was.
It’s weird.
For the past few months, every single day has had him in it. Whether it was just a text or a call or him physically showing up, he was always there.
And now, in two days, he won’t be.
Your stomach twists, and just as the overwhelming realization starts sinking in—
Your ringtone blares from your bedroom.
You already know who it is before you even check.
You scramble for your phone, pressing it to your ear.
“Hey, bitch, you getting ready?”
You barely have time to answer before your voice wobbles. “Yeah.”
There’s a pause.
“You sound sad,” Nari says suspiciously. “What’s up?”
And then— The floodgates open.
“I don’t want him to go,” you wail, the words tumbling out before you can stop them.
“Oh—”
“I don’t, Nari! I really, really don’t!”
There’s a shuffle on the other end, like she’s sitting up straighter. “Oh, babe…”
You squeeze your eyes shut, pressing a hand to your forehead. “I just— We just—” You suck in a breath, chest aching. “It was so much. It was—” You shake your head, unable to find the words. “It wasn’t just sex, it was—God, I don’t even know how to explain it.”
“Like love?” Nari offers gently.
You let out a watery laugh. “Yeah. Like love.”
She sighs, softer this time. “I know.”
“I can’t believe he’s leaving,” you whisper, staring blankly at your reflection in the mirror. Your mascara is already smudged again. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to wake up and not have him here. I don’t want to go back to how it was before—”
“You won’t,” Nari interrupts. “Even if he’s gone for a while, it’s not the same as before. He’s yours now, isn’t he?”
You open your mouth, then close it. Because… is he?
You’ve never said it out loud. Never defined it. But it feels like he is. Right?
“…God, I don’t know anymore,” you groan, rubbing your hands down your face. “I hate him.”
“You don’t,” she says simply.
“Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
You huff, frustrated. “That’s the problem!”
Nari laughs, and despite everything, you find yourself smiling weakly.
A beat of silence. Then, gently, “You’ll be okay, babe. I promise.”
You take a deep breath, trying to believe her. “I’ve had to redo my mascara, like, seven times.”
She groans. “And you’re gonna redo it an eighth if you keep crying. Now hurry up before our boss has another meltdown.”
You sigh, sniffing one last time. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“…No, I don’t.”
“That’s my girl. Love you, bye.”
You close your eyes. “Love you, bye.”
You hang up, taking another deep breath, shaking off the sadness.
Work. You just have to get through work.
You pick up your mascara again. Round eight.
Nari pulls up to your building, glancing at you with a smug grin. You really didn’t wanna get the bus today, so Nari had kindly offered to take you.
“You look pitiful,” she says.
You groan, throwing your head back against the seat. “I literally just was crying, that’s not my fault.”
“No, it’s Jungkook’s.”
You glare at her. “So are you driving me to work, or what?”
She hums, dragging it out, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. “I don’t know. It’s a lot of effort.”
“Nari.”
“Maybe if you beg.”
You groan. “Pleaseeee, oh my god, you know you were gonna take me anyway—”
She smirks, finally shifting gears. “That’s all I needed to hear.”
“You’re a demon,” you grumble, crossing your arms as she pulls out.
“Yeah, but you love me.”
Unfortunately.
The drive is short, and Nari makes sure to grab your face before you step out, inspecting you like a concerned mother.
“Okay, you look fine. Let’s go.”
You drag yourself inside, already dreading the day.
The morning is slow, as usual. The diner hums with the same familiar sounds—the coffee machines, the occasional chatter, the soft rustling of newspapers from the old man who sits in the corner every morning without fail.
You’re zoning out, trying to will yourself to get back into your normal routine when your phone vibrates in your pocket.
Jungkook [9:14AM]: are you at work rn? you probably are. just checking in.
You bite your lip, quickly typing back.
You [9:15AM]: yeah, just started. slow morning. where are you now?
It doesn’t take him long to reply.
Jungkook [9:15AM]: im close to my parents house now. kinda excited actually. but i miss you.
Your chest tightens a little.
You [9:16AM]: i miss you too.
You keep texting back and forth for a bit—him telling you about his plans for the day, you filling him in on how your boss has already screamed about a missing bag of coffee beans. It feels normal. Comfortable. Like he’s still here.
And for now, you let yourself enjoy that.
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suzukiblu · 7 months ago
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Day thirty of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” behind the cut, the final day!! Eyyyyy, gang, we did it! Full month of daily updates for this one, haha. Ended up writing about 24k, give or take a few hundred words. prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))
The alert on his communicator goes off again, and then again a few seconds later. Tim represses another frown. Nobody double-texts him on Tim Drake’s phone. The only people who ever would are Dick and Steph, and Dick never texts Tim Drake’s phone outside of emergency situations where Tim’s not suited-up and Steph doesn’t have Tim Drake’s number at all; they just use burners and the occassional dead drop. So who . . . ? 
The alert goes off a fourth time. Tim definitely doesn’t panic, but also definitely turns his wrist in his lap underneath the fall of his cape and taps the little armored pocket where he hides one of his micro-receivers for situations where he can’t pull the full-sized one out of his utility belt without being obvious about it. Cissie’s distracted with whatever’s distracting Cassie and neither of them can see his eyes behind the lenses of his mask, so it’s not difficult to slip it into his palm and out from under his cape to glance down at as he thumbs it open to wake up the tiny little screen. Four text alerts, and the caller ID is scrolling “UNKNOWN NUMBER” across the screen. 
Okay, so his civilian number is getting spam texts now. Jesus, he was worried, that’s so–
The actual number of the unknown number scrolls across the screen after the text. Tim . . . blinks. 
. . . that’s Kon’s number. Specifically, the number of the phone he bought Kon. Who is literally right outside, according to Cassie, and . . . texting somebody. While he’s out there. While he’s out there, and Tim is in here, and is being Robin. 
Tim has literally no idea how he feels about this situation, and honestly neither does Robin.
He opens the text log, and there are, in fact, four texts from Kon in it. 
so like 
superweird questin 
liek uh rly superweird tbh but uh 
cn u wish me luck babe??
Tim stares blankly at the messages. “Wish me luck”? That’s–what? 
Good luck, Kon, he texts back after a moment, figuring it’s the logical response anyway and assuming that using the other’s real name will help him feel better about whatever he wants the aforementioned “good luck” for. He’s going to have to try and get a read on him when he comes in, see if he can’t work that out. If it’s something to be concerned about . . . 
thx, Kon sends back with a blue heart emoji and literally nothing else. 
Blue, Tim thinks, yet again having to repress a frown. What the hell does a blue heart mean? Does that mean anything? 
He barely bites back the question, because it’s way too risky to ask even if if anyone knows what different-colored heart emojis mean it is definitely a teenage girl and if he texts Steph with a random question with no context attached and then doesn’t stick around to talk she’ll get annoyed and might leave another glitter bomb in their next dead drop. 
He really doesn’t wanna have to explain glitter in his cape to Bruce again. Or worse, explain glitter in his cape to Alfred. Alfred did not appreciate the glitter tracked all over the cave last time. Very, very much did he not appreciate it. 
Maybe Kon just picked it because he likes blue. Or maybe red seemed like too much to him? Or maybe– 
“I’m back!” Suzie announces excitedly as she spills into the room, and Bart bolts through her smoke trail a moment later and stops on a dime right next to the kitchen table. 
“What’s going on?” he asks, wrinkling his nose down at Cissie and Cassie. “Are you crying? Is it because your wig looks weird? It’s not that weird. I mean, kinda.” 
“That HeroWatch magazine thinks it’s your real hair!” Suzie offers brightly. “So it can’t be that weird.” 
“I am not crying and HeroWatch thinks what?!” Cassie demands, whipping her head up to stare at them both with a horrified expression. “It’s not even real hair! It’s like, synthetic! I buy the stupid things off Amazon!” 
“You should stop doing that,” Tim advises reflexively. There are so many ways for that to end badly for her secret identity. Genuinely so many that he doesn’t even know where to start, in fact. 
“And do what instead, exactly?” Cassie asks with a sullen scowl, leaning back just enough to fold her arms. “I can’t just clear out Spirit Halloween every–” 
She cuts herself off and stiffens, then jerks to her feet very quickly and straightens her wig and jacket even quicker. Tim has half a second to remember that while Cassie’s hearing isn’t super, it’s definitely enhanced, and then Kon walks into the room. 
“Yo,” he says, half-waving a hand at the table and then making a face. “Shit, I’m the last one here? Figures.” 
Tim . . . blinks. Blinks again. Cassie looks downright agonized, and Suzie and Bart both tilt their heads in opposite directions. Cissie raises both eyebrows and looks him up and down. 
“Jesus Christ, Kon, that is borderline indecent expo–” she starts incredulously, and Cassie immediately claps a hand over her mouth and leans down to hiss into her ear: “Cissie, you are my best friend and I love you and shut the hell up right the hell NOW.” 
Tim attempts to make his brain work. It needs to, like–do things. Be usable. Functional. Brain . . . able. 
The problem with that is the fact that Kon is currently wearing the tiny little jean shorts that first made Tim aware of the existence of the other’s thighs and the S-shield crop top that people really should have more respect for Superman than to have made and sold commercially with his usual leather jacket and sunglasses and a pair of heavy black boots that Tim also bought him, plus the sapphire stud earring from their last date with a little bit of eyeliner and chipped black nail polish and . . . thighs. Just–thighs. Kon is very, very much wearing thighs right now. 
. . . thighs.
Tim suddenly understands literally everything about the way Cassie came in acting and literally everything she’d said on top of that. Also, he isn’t sure, but he thinks maybe this is worse than the changing room was? Like, this might be worse than the changing room was. Because Kon’s not posing to show himself off like he was there, and “Tim Drake” isn’t here for him to be showing off for. So Kon is, presumably, wearing this outfit just because he wants to be wearing it. 
Tim needs a minute. Or a year. Or maybe a hard reboot and a new identity and a new reality to move to. Not permanently or anything, just until he can remember how to function like a reasonably-normal person again or he needs to send Kon his allowance, whichever comes first. 
It’s going to be the allowance, he already knows. It’s definitely, definitely going to be the allowance. 
“Huh,” Suzie says, looking a little perplexed. 
“Oh, is that what hormones are?” Bart says, looking surprised. “Weird.”
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novascharms · 5 months ago
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teach please me — tutor!reader x soccer player!rafe
reader's life is meticulously planned, from high school to becoming president of the country—she knows exactly where she's headed and every step to get there. but her airtight plan hits a snag when the principal ropes her into tutoring rafe cameron, the school’s star soccer player, who’s failing algebra and at risk of being benched next season. the team needs him on the field, and reader needs the principal’s glowing recommendation to secure her spot at her dream school. balancing her ambitious goals with rafe’s chaotic charm might just throw her perfectly crafted plan off track.
a.n — double update cause it's a short one + apology for the contents of this chapter word count — 1.4 chapter index — prev. chap. — next chap. masterlist
seven
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wednesday, january 29th
"no, i'm telling you, it's real! i read about it." devon pulls on hazel's arms as the four of you walk toward your school building. "someone talking about it in a tiktok video is not reading about it, devon." ivy laughs and devon shoves her to the side. "you believe me, right, y/n?" she turns to you and you're in this weird inbetween place where you can hear them, sort of but your mind is also in a million other places so you don't immediately answer.
"hey?" hazel rests an arm on your shoulder which halts you, "hm?" you ask and look at your three very concerned best friends. "you know we don't have to go, right? we can just..go to my house, get all the strawberry ice cream from the freezer and have a long discussion about ..cryptozoology. devon can tell us about that time she saw the loch ness monster again." she says and you smile when devon mutters something about her experience being 100% real.
"you have a perfect attendance, hazel. we are not going to tarnish that for..a boy. i'm okay." you try to sound convincing, try to convince yourself even because really, it shouldn't suck as much as it does. you knew that rafe somehow reciprocating your crush was wishful thinking. it was stupid to ever even entertain or let the idea play in your mind.
you'd had crushes before, even kissed two guys. once when you were fourteen and once when you were fifteen but looking at them never felt the same way as looking at rafe and you had never even come close to kissing him.
"but—"
"no. let's go." you force the three girls forward. you were first in your class, first in your entire grade, you singlehandedly organise almost every major and minor event at this school, you process all the complaints and changes students want almost weekly, you help your parents at home, you work at a bakery on saturdays, you volunteer on sundays. you are resilient and capable and rafe cameron is not going to bat his eyelashes and break you in one month of knowing him. it just wasn't going to happen. it couldn't.
you could avoid him, you think as you walk into the school building. right? this school was fairly big and truth be told, before you started tutoring, rafe didn't really stand out to you. things could go back to that time. they had too.
the first four hours went perfectly. you passed by the office and helped sandy with some paperwork until class started, then you went to class and were able to avoid him during the break as well.
you got nervous when lunchtime came around. you and your friends usually stayed in school during lunch which meant rafe could just walk up to you in the cafeteria but there were other places you could go. you could go to the green spaces or the common area. maybe even the bleachers in the basketball court though you never really liked the smell in there.
you eventually chose the green space. it was quiet and calm, just what you needed. you and your friends sat down and when you open your bag you realise you left your lunch in your locker. "i left my lunch in my locker, i'll be right back." you tell them and fish your key out of your bag before making your way out of the green space and down the stairs.
when you made it to the second floor, you walked to your locker, keys jiggling in your hands. "y/n?" your heart stopped at the sound of his voice, and the natural course of action when someone called your name was to stop or at least turn but you just kept walking. "uh huh?" you answered.
"hey, hold on!" he called and you heard him start to jog. you start to walk faster. "i..uhh am kinda in a hurry!"
"just wait." he grabs your wrist and whips you around. he looks unjustifiable good again. you force yourself to not make eye contact. "yes, rafe?" you find yourself saying in the most passive tone and his gaze lingers, filled with worry. "what happened yesterday? i texted you like ten times." he's visibly upset—crease between his brows, soft searching eyes boring it yours and it makes you upset and now you want to pinch yourself for being upset because you've created some kind of fucked up parasocial relationship with a guy who has no real interest in you.
"i..just wanted to go home. so, i went home." is the only thing you can come up with. it's technically the truth too. you pull your wrist away from his hand and he watches the action with a pained expression. "did something happen while i was gone? why didn't you come to me? i was going to take you home."
you shake your head nonchalantly dismissing him, "it's fine. i like walking, i barely exercise so i need it. it's absolutely fine." you're already turning around to find your locker but he's grabbing your wrist again, "why are you acting like this?" he's frustrated with you. you understand. you're acting different but you're frustrated with him too. even if you don't necessarily have the right to be. "you know i'm not that smart so stop playing fucking mind games with me."
you frown at his tone but also his choice of words. "you are smart, rafe. you're very smart." you correct, not liking it when he belittled himself. him not believing he was capable or smart was the whole reason he needed tutoring in the first place.
"yet i can't piece together why you're mad at me." he says, his tone displeased and you shake your head, finding his eyes. you find yourself wanting to appease him, wanting to make him feel better. you hate that he's upset, it coils something deep inside of you. "i am not mad. i'm not upset, i just..i didn't want to—" it was baffling how much you struggled to come up with a lie. you weren't a liar, okay? "i-i saw you, i saw..that you were, you were.. and i j-just—" you stammered and threw your head back in frustration.
he stared at you, eyes wide and expecting. "you just..what? how am i meant to fix it if you won't tell me what's wrong?"
"you haven't done anything wrong; if anything it's me. i—"
"you what? you didn't have fun? did someone hurt you?"
"no one did anything." you murmur and it seems to be what pushes him over the edge, "then what's wrong?" he snaps, his apparent annoyance bursting at the seams.
"nothing is wrong. there is nothing to fix, i just wanted to go home so i went home!" you yelled suddenly and rafe along with the couple of people still in the hallway stared at you in what could only be describe as utter surprise. "sorry..i'm sorry." you tried to collect whatever pride you still had and turned on your heel abandoning your food completely.
it started slowly. just slow breaths as you walked up the stairs, then that pit in your throat when you were on the third floor, followed by tears in your eyes that you were frantically trying to blink away on the fourth floor, and when you finally made it to green space, the tears were streaming down your cheeks and hazel was already standing up before you'd even made it to the table. "oh, no, sweetheart," she's pulling you in your arms and the dam just breaks and you're letting out everything you'd been holding in since that stupid bonfire. "it's okay, i'm so sorry, you're okay." her comforting whispers and gentle kisses are muffled and overshadowed by the way you're crying in her arms.
you feel ivy and devon's hands on your back, rubbing slow circles, "we got you," you feel a warm hug from behind and one on the side. you're completely cooped up, unable to even see anymore light, just little cracks. either way your vision is blurry with tears. "i w-wanna go h-home.." you hiccup in hazel's neck and you can feel her nodding. "we'll go home. we're going home."
hazel's parents are surprised to see the four of you home but when they see which state you're in, they barely question it. her mom orders take out, the junkiest junk food they can find, she calls your mom to tell her where you are, you pile onto the couch and they don't mention rafe once. you have a six-hour-long discussion about cryptozoology and the science behind mythical creatures.
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chapter index — prev. chap. — next chap.  taglist — @rafeysworldim19 @my-name-is-baby @pogueprincesa let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist & interact with post to remain tagged <3
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ivysprophecy · 7 months ago
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sharpest tools
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warnings: dual POV HAHA so im not saying i know jj or that this is how he thinks or whatever im simply doing it for a change of pace and writing style, wanted to experiment a little so by all means if this isnt your thing pls keep scrolling. mentions of extreme anxiety, mentions of chronic pain meds, over the counter meds
word count: 2299
prev. | next
masterlist
summary: after your fight blows out of proportion both you and jj are left wondering what just happened? and the poor pogues are caught in the crossfires trying to delegate and reunite the two idiots. because neither of them are the sharpest tools in the shed.
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jj's pov
"jj... jj wake up," my eyes open enough to see someone crouching in front of me.
why the hell is sarah waking me up?
i move to sit up forgetting i slept in the hammock last night so i swing and struggle for a second before gaining my balance back.
"whats up?"
she hands me a water and some aspirin she snagged from the kitchen, from the looks of it no one else is awake. "just wanted to make sure you were alright."
"i appreciate it sar but im good. i swear," i take a swig of the water before swallowing the pain killers, "theres absolutely nothing wrong," because really i dont know that the fuck is wrong.
"im guessing you dont wanna talk about what happened last night?"
"honest to god sarah im not even sure what happened- that girl kissed me and before i could get her off me y/n swooped in and exploded."
sarah sits criss cross on the grass next to the hammock looking over at me with an odd look on her face.
"so you didnt mean to kiss her?"
"no- sarah i didnt kiss that girl i swear on my life. she was asking me a question about directions and all of a sudden shes got me pinned against the rocks. honest," i hold my hands up in surrender feeling interrogated, "i'd never do that to y/n"
"im not saying you would- its just that we didnt know until last night so... speaking of that. what the fuck was that about?"
everyone has so many questions and honestly i do too, i dont know half of the answers. feels like i wiped out and i cant find the shore.
i just wish she'd talk to me. like im sure if shed just let me get two words in i could reassure her but i dont know what shes thinking right now and its killing me.
i hate it. i hate that i caused this.
but in my defense it kinda feels like she blew it way out of proportion if she had just let me explain this whole thing would be okay.
"i just... i dont know sar- she had all this anxiety about relationships and whatever- i dont really get it but she said she wanted to keep it between the two of us. who was i to tell her no ya know? i just wanna be with her."
sarah just kinda looks at me with wide eyes.
"what?"
"youre like- down bad arent you? youre totally whipped."
"i wouldnt say that-" she interrupts me.
"jj maybanks got a girlfriend... this is headline news," she chuckles making me roll my eyes. i thought we were having a serious conversation, not that i try to have those often but i could use her advice on the subject.
"sarah seriously- what the hell do i do? i barely know what happened last night how am i supposed to fix what i dont know is fucked up?"
"well from the tid bit you told me? sounds like shes massively overthinking and just saw the wrong thing at the wrong time, and it just so happened to fit into her warped little nightmare."
what the fuck did she just say?
"so youre saying this is just all in her head?"
"no- well- kind of... from the sounds of it shes got a lot of anxiety and trust issues. shes probably trying to self sabotage the relationship."
i let out a frustrated sigh, "can you not talk like a therapist for a minute?"
"jj what im saying is you both dont know how to handle the situation. you need to talk to each other, have a real discussion not just scream in each others faces like last night."
"i tried to talk to her! she wouldnt listen!"
sarah lets out a laugh letting her head hang as her body shook from the laughter. pushing some hair out of her face she turns her body to face me more head on.
"jj- it was the heat of the moment and she was scared and upset. of course she wasnt going to listen... now that shes had time to cool off? you might have a better shot."
"but what if she doesnt believe me?" look i dont like admitting that i get a little insecure sometimes, but id rather do that than fuck my relationship with y/n.
because god ive been trying for so long i dont know what im gonna do if i lose her.
i really need to see her. "is she awake?"
"not yet i dont think... why? what are you gonna do?" i stand up running my hands through my untamed hair trying to wake up a little bit.
"im gonna try to make it up to her- make sure shes up by the time i get home. 'kay?"
"home? what the fuck are you talking about jj? where are you going?" sarah stands up as she sees me walking towards my bike. her voice raising so it will carry enough for me to hear.
"dont worry bout it!"
with those final words i take off down the dirt road...
readers pov
ugh. my head is pounding. i need excedrin.
god last night was a horrible combination for my chronic migraines.
i walk into the kitchen and see john b and pope huddled in the corner making shushing noises before turning around to face me.
"there she is!" i shove my hand in john bs face to shut him up.
"its nine am. wheres the medicine cabinet my head is throbbing." poor sweet pope hands me the bottle of pills and a cold water. god bless him. "thank you," i let out a whine as i tilt my head back to take the medicine. "sorry ive got a killer migraine."
"oh-" they exchange glances with one another before pope speaks up in a hushed tone, "go lay down- let the meds work. and drink your water."
i squint at him, seeing how nervous he is. he wants to say something. they both do.
is this headache bearable enough to get this conversation over with? technically yes. should i use it as an excuse to ignore everything? probably not...
"its okay. we can talk. i can tell you want to."
"thank god" jb expresses before pope hits him in the chest, which leads to john b throwing his arms up in defense "what? you said we needed to talk to her!"
"yea but not force her to!"
"guys- cmon its fine. really. i know its a lot so lets just get this over with. yes jj and i had been dating for a month. yes we didnt tell anyone on purpose, i didnt want the pressure. i dont know if he kissed that girl or not but i freaked out and just wanted to be alone. i didnt mean to hurt his feelings but i was obviously upset so i said things i didnt mean. there. happy?"
both the boys look at me with bug eyes, "a month?!" they exclaim together.
"my god- yes. a month. its really not a big deal-"
"yes it is y/n- thats a huge step for you and jj. i thought the whole casual thing would flame out. this is a huge commitment for the both of you," pope reminds me, as if i wasnt aware. i
i was simply trying to down play it to give myself a reason to care less, seems like thats not happening any time soon.
"what are you my doctor?"
"i think what pope is trying to say is... were a little worried about you y/n/n... what happened last night- you kinda flew off the handle."
i whip my head around so fast i get dizzy, grabbing the counter for stability.
"excuse me? i flew off the handle? jj was the one kissing other girls-"
"y/n i think deep down you know thats not true-"
"no- no you dont get to tell me im crazy and then tell me what im thinking- this is my relationship. this is exactly why i didnt wanna tell everyone because i knew youd all stick your noses in it. what happened is between me and jj. no one else."
pope reaches out to steady me seeing me sway a little, "woah- okay maybe we should put a pause in this convo-"
"im fine pope. i just dont see how this is anyones business."
"we're not saying its our business y/n/n, were just worried about you. youre not acting like yourself. you seem anxious, paranoid, you know- just not normal," pope pleaded with me, making me sit on one of the dining chairs.
"right-" john be interjected, "all were trying to point out is we all know jj would never ever put his whatever you wanna call it with you in jeopardy. hes whipped. theres no way he went and kissed another girl."
i see where theyre coming from. i really do. i want to believe it but there are too many things playing in my head that tell me otherwise.
on one hand, i know jj would never hurt me. not on purpose, and to cheat is definitely with a purpose. hes always reassured me that its just me and since we got serious he hasnt given me a reason to doubt him.
but on the other... just seeing her all over him is so hard to forget. it all happened so fast, i dont know how long theyd been kissing for, maybe i got there just as it happened or maybe itd been going on for a while i have no idea. too many factors.
"y/n if you listen to literally anything we say let it be that we know jj loves you," i look up at the curly haired boy whos basically grown to be my brother.
"thats a big word for elmo-"
pope runs a hand over his face with a sigh, "for the love of god be serious for a minute," 'theyre made for each other' he thinks to himself. "just hear him out. please. for some reason he loves you a lot-"
"hey!"
"-and if were speaking freely youre the one whos put all of this at stake because all the rest of know jj didnt kiss that girl. youre the only one who has doubts. so talk to him. please. were begging you."
"... 'we're?' youve all talked about this?"
"of course we have- it all unraveled in front of us what else did you expect? by the way i was supposed to tell you sarah is siked for you- maybe nows not the time," john be stops himself scratching the back of his head.
honestly it gets a giggle out of me.
"okay.. yea. ill talk to him. where is he? is he here?"
pope looks out the window in the front yard, where he can see sarah peeking in before moving out os sight to pretend she wasnt listening in.
"he was here- he slept outside last night. wanted to give you space since you both normally share the couch."
oh... thats- sweet.
fuck. maybe i am screwing all of this up.
"can i come in now??" i hear sarah yell from the other side of the door.
"get in here!" i raise my voice a little testing my headache, which ironically has somehow gotten a little better.
sarah walks through the door. letting out a rather dramatic sigh, "finally. sorry- jj got some big idea and left on his bike a few minutes ago. said to have y'n awake by the time he gets back so... i dont really know what to do now."
john b looks at his wife and i notice... its like how jj looks at me.
fuck.
fuck fuck fuck.
"do you know where he went??" i look at sarah with a begging tone and pleading tone.
she shakes her head "sorry honey bun," she teases with a smile. "but since weve got time... john b, pope, and i will go get some breakfast while we wait for jj to get back. you stay here- give you two some space to work it all out."
"what? no its fine- really you dont have to go..."
sarah walks up to me grabbing me by the shoulder with some stupid fucking grin like shes all knowing, "girl. youre gonna be fine. youll talk, kiss, and make up and be the happiest couple ever. it will be sickening, trust me id know. relax. it will be fine. you and jj will be able to work this out, im sure."
and with that john b grabs the keys to the twinkie heading out the door following wifes orders, with pope following in suit with an apologetic shrug.
sarah gives me a teasing kiss on the forehead, "well be back soon sweetie be safe."
"oh fuck off- bring back bacon and coffee please," she salutes me before walking outside with the boys.
"no one ever said she was the sharpest tool in the shed," john b quips as he steps into the twinkie with a sigh before turning the ignition.
pope hops in the back letting out a small laugh "yea thats for sure."
"neither of them are," sarah rebuts looking over at john b as they all laugh. "theyre both as sharp as a dull spoon"
"what the fuck did you just say?" jb looks over at her with a quizzical look on his face.
"just drive routledge."
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youraverageaemondsimp · 7 months ago
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Metanoia ;
Aemond Targaryen x Transmigrated!Strong!Reader
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>> Chapter VI : The End of the Beginning.
Summary: Things begin to quickly escalate.
WARNINGS: canon typical incest, angst, grief, mentions of child loss, aegon is a dick.
A/N: divider creds to @cafekitsune
<- prev // masterlist // next ->
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Everything was moving way too quick for your liking. You thought your marriage pact to Aemond would prevent the war, yet it seems like it's inevitable. You felt nothing but despair watching Aegon walk through the crowd of people, for his coronation.
You knew what was next, Rhaenys would burst through the doors and leave right after threatening them, so you wait anxiously, standing next to Aemond.
But nothing happens.
Rhaenys didn't appear and the coronation went smoothly.
What was happening?
You were escorted back to the castle with guards around you till you reached your room, knowing that the blacks would try to come get you any moment. The greens were on guard.
A few days passed since then, Rhaenys’ absence shocked you the most. You had written a letter to your mother, informing your mother of the happenings.
You paced around your chamber restlessly, anxious about how the story is developing, it seems that your interference made everything worse.
Perhaps it was always meant to be this way, for everyone to be doomed. You thought of Luke, Aemond, Helaena, and all the lives that were taken away because of this war.
You never really acknowledged how real everything was until you felt the taste of potential calamity. Your head snaps to the side when the doors burst open, the guards rushing in and grabbing you.
“W—What are you doing?!” You yell, trying to fight the guards but they say nothing, dragging you out of your chambers by force and out into the hallway.
You are brought down to where the dungeons are, below the castle before being thrown into one as the guards lock the door. You look at Ser Cole who was one of the people that guard you down here. He looked at you with a mockery of pity.
“It was the King's orders.” He speaks, noticing the need for closure in your eyes. Your eyes widened at the truth, lips trembling as you felt useless. Unable to change anything, if in fact everything is more shit.
“What about Aemond? I need to speak to him right now!” You cry out, and Ser Cole shakes his head, “He had called off the betrothal with you.” Those words felt a stab to your heart.
He called it off? No it definitely couldn't be.
Aemond wouldn't do that without consulting you first.
But deep down, you feared that it would be the truth, cause the body you're in believes that to be the case. He was a man stuck to his duty after all.
“Your betrothal to Y/N should be annulled immediately.” Aegon's voice booms through the small council as he sits there on the chair, somehow making coherent decisions. Aemond had just walked in then, immediately being met with a command.
“Why?” Aemond asks in disbelief, his eyebrows furrowed. “I can not, she is— I do not wish to.” Aemond affirms his decision standing tall against at the end of the table, seeming as though he was the king, making decisions.
Aegon scoffed, “You dare defy the king? But I will excuse you, for you are my brother. I'm aware that cunt must've felt good. But it isn't beneficial for the war.” Aegon spews comically, expecting everyone to laugh with him but no one does. Alicent shifts uncomfortably in her seat as she watches the interaction between her sons.
Aemond grits his teeth, his anger oozing off him, suffocating everyone in the room. He clenches his fists, nails digging into his palm as he tries to not move impulsively.
“Aegon, is right.” Alicent interferes, not making eye contact with Aemond. “Marrying her will not do any good. We must use this to gain allies. Besides, who knows what Rhaenyra might do. Now that her child is with us.” She simply states, avoiding the gaze of Aemond.
His eyes darted around the room, everybody was silent.
His mind ran wild, as he stood there still, thinking of the possibilities, thinking about everything.
He swallowed a tight lump in his throat, and the next words that left his mouth, betrayed both himself and you.
“I understand.”
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Rhaenyra's sobs fill the room as she clutches her head, her council looking upon her. “I can't lose another child. I'm afraid I cannot bear it.” She quivers, her body still traumatized from losing her unborn child.
She refers to you. “My baby, I can not. lose. her. again.” her mind fills with the memories of you being asleep for many years, the nights she's spent by your side hoping you'd wake up.
“I am not a good mother, am I? Daemon. I left my child in the viper's nest, even though you were against it.” Rhaenyra stared at Daemon, her mind in shambles. He gazed in silence at her. She was going mad. She couldn't keep calm.
“Those traitors! How could they? Has there been any other letter from her?” She asks as soon as a guard walks in, the one who she planted as a spy.
“The princess has been thrown into the dungeons,” those words were enough to send Rhaenyra spiralling out of control, as she yelled at everyone to take immediate action. She will burn down the city if she needs to.
“And it seems that they have called off the betrothal.” He finishes and Daemon scoffs. “Those cunts.” Daemon mutters underneath his breath.
“We must wait.” Jacaerys speaks up, unable to see his mother spiral like this. “Mother, I am aware that you are worried about our sister, but we need to deal with this sensitively.” He tries to be the voice of reason for her. Luke joins in, holding his mother by her hand and she stares at the both of them before calming down.
Rhaenyra's eyes darken as the last of her tears fell down her cheek. Her mind reeling up a plan, before she toughens up and focuses on the matter before her.
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Aemond left the keep on his horse, going to the forest where Vhagar was sleeping soundly. He goes near her, grazing her sides and she wakes up, feeling her rider near her.
He climbs on top of her, knowing the direction he was meant to go. And so he does, flying off in the direction.
The duty felt heavy on his shoulders, but the betrayal even worse, you must be so confused on what is going on. After the betrothal with the baratheon, he will fly back to you and explain everything.
Yes, it is what he will do.
You probably felt lonely, all alone in your chamber, he should've probably told more guards to protect you before he left but he shakes his head, hoping that you'd be alright.
Ironic how far he was from the truth. He had no idea that you were currently suffering in the dungeons.
The gut feeling was malicious, warning him that he is doing something wrong, but he tried shaking it off. It wouldn't budge. It got so worse to the point he felt nauseous.
He thinks for a minute.
His eye hardens as he takes deep breaths, the weight of betrayal suddenly lifting off, and the pressure of duty fade into nothingness as he commands Vhagar to fly the other direction, spinning her around.
To dragonstone it is.
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staybabblingbaby · 7 months ago
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Best Friend Protocol #14 (Team Meeting part)
[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]
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Concept: You're Felix's childhood friend, and you and he have been planning a visit to see him for his birthday for what feels like years now. Unfortunately, SKZ is a very busy group, and the week-long vacation you'd planned for doesn't seem possible.Until Felix decides to ask his bandmates a favor...
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Word Count: 2672
Notes: IT'S FINALLY HERE! ALL HAIL THE LEGENDARY FIRST WRITTEN PART OF BFP! I meant to have this out over a week ago, but it's here now! I will be attempting to get a regular chapter out here shortly to fulfil my promised 4 november chapters. Wish me luck! Huge shout out to one of my beautiful beloved betas, @brbwritingfanfic for taking the time to make sense of this damn thing lmao. I appreciate you spotting all my errors, you a real one <3 For those familiar with my archive style and curious, this is A3D2 for this chapter. It was kicking my ASS. If enough folks are interested I don't mind releasing the other attempts, but BFP is a bit divorced from the usual archive proceedings, so I'll leave that up to y'all. I actually really loved how Felix's character came through here, and i'm pretty pleased with how the dialogue turned out. My poor fiance had to sit through like 5 separate rants about how i could not roll back the details enough and kept having to scrap dialogue so it sounded less like AI attempting classical literature.
Warnings: She/Her Reader. Sort of? Polyamory negotiations. More like, the possibility is tossed out there.
Leave me comments or questions or anything! Love hearing from folks
Additional Note: I'm always taking interaction requests. Just fyi
Masterlist | Prev Part | Next Part
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The meeting goes something like this;
They pile into the living room of his and Seungmin’s shiny new dorm without discussion. It makes Felix both nervous and grateful. They’ve always had these meetings wherever Chris happened to be, before. It feels like an unspoken declaration of allegiance. Like they’re letting Felix take the lead, here.
The pressure is kind of getting to him already, as they all settle in. He doesn’t even know how he feels about it all himself, making a decision doesn’t seem like something he should be in charge of right now.
Still, he’s grateful. They’re being so mindful of him in this, and he kind of wants to cry about it. He feels seen, and loved. A bit too seen, maybe, but as embarrassing as it is he’s still a bit gooey inside about it.
Felix drags a beanbag over to where Hyunjin has settled on the couch, plopping down to lean against the other man’s legs. A hand automatically goes to bury itself in his hair, like an anchor against Felix’s stormy thoughts.
The grounding warmth of one of his best friends soothes Felix as Chris calls the meeting to order.  
“So!” Their leader casts an inquiring gaze around the room, “Who wants to start? Where are we at right now?”
A few glances are cast Felix’s way, but he tips his head back against Hyunjin’s knees to avoid their eyes. Everyone must get the message, because no one prompts him.
Jisung is the one who eventually bites the bullet, and Felix sends a silent ‘thank you’ to his birthday buddy.
“Well, I’d like to clarify everyone’s, like, goal in this?” Jisung puts forward tentatively, “Because I’m at the point where it’s more of a ‘I’d like to get to know her’ thing than a ‘I want to date her’ thing.” he shrugs to himself, “I haven’t talked to her much yet, I just think she’s cool.”
“I’m a little bit smitten,” Changbin admits from across the room. He gives Felix an apologetic grimace, but all Felix can do is wave him off with a worried smile. 
“We talked for quite a while the other day and, I dunno... We clicked? I guess? I feel like we did, anyway. I kind of want to see where that could go if we let it.” 
Changbin sends an almost appealing look to Felix as he speaks, and honestly? Super awkward for Felix right now.
Because, see, Felix’s first instinct is to get super defensive and shut everything down. He doesn’t really want to be talking about this, and it scratches at something delicate and boyish in him that they’re having this discussion at all.
It’s embarrassing to know that the feelings he’s kept so close to his chest for so many years are out in the open. It feels a bit like a betrayal that this meeting is about the fact that most of his friends have feelings for the girl he’s had a crush on basically his whole life, instead of planning how to get him to stop being stupid about said crush.
It’s just... Uncomfortable. On so many levels. An ugly monster wants to tear out of Felix’s throat as he locks eyes with Changbin, but a light scratch at his scalp from Hyunjin stalls the beast.
Right. Felix reminds himself that these aren’t any old friends. These aren’t just some acquaintances he could burn bridges with, or strange men he had to protect his angel from.
No, these were his brothers, the people he’d shed blood, sweat, and tears with. The men he’d lived with, grown with, the guys who’d seen more of him than any other person in the world.
Felix finds it in himself to spare Changbin a strained smile. He means it to be reassuring, but he’s so tangled up in his thoughts right now that it’s the best he can offer. The older man seems grateful for it anyway.
He turns his gaze up to Hyunjin, the catalyst of all this, and Felix’s current rock in the storm. He tries to keep in mind how much he loves these people as he moves the conversation forward.
He has to hear them out, at least.
“Thoughts, Hyun?” Felix gently inquires. 
Hyunjin briefly presses his lips together, gathering his thoughts into words. 
“I’ve been pretty open in my flirtation from the start, I think.” he finally says, “So I guess I’m more surprised that anyone else is? Surprised, I mean.”
Felix has to hand him that one. For all that his ‘no flirting’ rule had been mostly a joke, it did mean that he’d expected them to flirt with her. 
He wonders what makes things different now? He’d been okay with the flirting when he’d thought everyone was just joking around, has anything really changed now that he knows it’s real?
Felix sits with that thought while Minho throws his two cents in.
“I don’t think surprised is the right word,” their second eldest ponders aloud, “I’m personally more... worried about how this might work out.” He draws the words out slowly, like he’s tasting the flavor of them before he speaks.
It’s off-putting to hear Minho speak so cautiously- he’s usually so blunt with his words. 
“I’m more worried about how this will affect us as a group,” Minho admits, “I mean, I like her, she’s fun, but I don’t want her if it’s going to cause issues among us.”
And the older man has a point. Anything that causes discord in a group like theirs is a disaster waiting to happen. Especially something like this, where a misstep could lead to long-term resentments and jealousies.
Felix feels pressured by the group’s regard for him all over again. One word from him, and he knows it all ends. The moment he says he can’t handle this is the moment that the rest back off. The emotions won’t fade, Felix knows, but they’d do it anyways.
Because they love him.
He loves them right back.
“I really like her,” Seungmin pipes in, face blank. His eyes cast toward the floor for a moment, before rising again to meet Felix’s. “I really like her,” He repeats, “I don’t know that I would be okay with letting go without trying.”
Felix pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and nods at the younger man. His head tips toward his lap while he thinks, brow furrowing as he loses himself to his tumultuous thoughts.
It helps to hear everyone’s feelings put so bluntly, Felix thinks. Having everyone’s stances laid out clearly like a map in his mind’s eye. 
Han, who’s not invested but interested anyways.
Changbin, who’s probably in deeper than he’d really like to be.
Hyunjin, who’d been open about his intentions from the start.
Minho, who the fact that he’s even considering her means more than Felix thinks the man realizes. And yet, he’d give her up at the first seed of discord among the group.
It’s kind of heartwarming, when Felix thinks about how much love their second eldest had shown them with those words. 
Finally, there’s Seungmin. A man whose compliments are hard earned, and whose feelings are closely guarded. A man who’d just handed Felix his heart on a silver platter, trust and love etched in every word, spoken and not.
Felix’s first instinct is still to shut them down. His clouded heart tells him to scoop up his angel and hide her away like a dragon with its hoard. To claim her as his and his alone, and feel slighted if anyone tried to contest that.
But that’s not fair. Not to his members and not to her. Not even to himself.
They’d shown him respect and care every step of the way, the least he could do is give them more than a knee-jerk reaction.
“Is it really all that complicated?” Jeongin ponders aloud.
Their maknae looks almost bored from his armchair, staring at them all. His furrowed brow gives away his worry, as does the way he allows Chris to pull him into the elder’s side with an arm around his shoulders.
“I mean, it’s up to her in the end, isn’t it?” their youngest continues, “she’s the only one that can really make a final call.”
“Could we handle that?” Felix finally speaks up. It’s a little scary having everyone’s attention snap to him like that, but this is the crux of the matter, he thinks.
“If she chooses one of us, could we handle that?” he elaborates.
A contemplative silence descends over the room. Felix kind of wishes he could peek into the member’s brains at this moment. He wants to know if they’re as worried as he is, if they’re worried about the same things he is. 
Because, quite honestly, the more he thinks about it the less he really minds if they flirt with his angel.
It’s taken him this long to untangle the ugly knot of emotions in his chest, and he still can’t see all of it for what it is, but the core of it all, he thinks, is fear.
He’s afraid that, at the end of it all, he’ll be left behind. That he’ll lose two of his very best friends, his favorite people in the world, to each other.
He doesn’t think he could handle that.
It’s an unjustified fear, Felix knows. His bonds with all of these people, the seven present in the room with him and one halfway across the world, are stronger than anything. Forged in fire and elastic with time, he’s sure there’s nothing that could ever truly break them.
That doesn’t stop anxiety from creeping up his spine.
Felix lets his eyes wander around the room, landing on each of his members in turn. It’s like something in him believes that they could guide him in this, just by looking at them, the way his gaze lands heavily on each of their forms.
Hyunjin’s hand drops from his head to knead at the base of his neck, and Felix feels himself soften. A little bit of the anxiety drains from him at the comforting touch, and with it gone he can see something new under the miasma of fear and uncertainty.
It’s bright, like hope, and a bit more exciting. A giddy little thought bubbles up with it-
“What if she chose more than one of us?” Han beats him to the punch. His eyes flick between them all anxiously, looking very much like the rodent he’s nicknamed for, and when he’s met with six confused stares and Felix’s suppressed grin, he starts to babble.
“I- I mean, we’ve all shared partners before. Like, sexually, at least. I just- I mean- We’re not strangers to sharing, is all I’m tryna say!” Han explains himself.
His shoulders rise up to cherry-red ears under the weight of their stares. Minho places a calming hand on his thigh, even as he pokes holes in the other man’s claim.
“We’ve never shared romantic partners though,” He points out, annoyingly reasonable, “That’s a completely different thing.” 
“I’d be willing to give it a shot,” Hyunjin shrugs when all eyes turn to him.
He was, admittedly, the last of them Felix had expected to back the idea. Hyunjin was the most romantic of them all, and the least likely to indulge one of them in sharing a partner or two.
“I love you guys, and I really like her,” Hyunjin states plainly, “I don’t see an issue with it.”
“So.. what? We try for, like, a.. polycule kinda thing if she wants?” Changbin questions. He scrunches up his face in concern at the concept, pointing out, “That feels a little unbalanced, doesn't it? Is it fair to hinge the whole thing on her?”
“It's going to hinge on her whether it's fair or not,” Jeongin interjects, “You all have crushes on her, not on eachother.”
“I just don’t know how comfortable I can be with that,” Changbin explains, “There’s one of her, and currently six of us. I don’t think it’s humanly possible for her to split her time enough for all of us, and it’s really unfair of us to expect it of her.”
“It could be a good thing, though,” Han argues, “None of us have the time to dedicate to a relationship how we should. Having more than one of us to turn to could be a good thing.”
“Okay, but you’re all forgetting something very important in this hypothetical,” Jeongin stresses the word, making pointed eye contact with his hyungs, “situation. She has to agree to it too. We can’t make a decision without her.”
Felix can't help but be proud of their youngest for reminding them of y/n’s place in all this. It’s not like they’d forgotten, but it was a good reminder anyway. It did feel a bit icky to be talking about their relationship with her like it was a foregone conclusion.
“I’m just saying!” Han proclaims, throwing his hands in the air, “It’s a possibility that we should be open to if it happens!”
Finally, Chris loudly claps to get everyone's attention and forestall any oncoming argument.
“Oh-kay!” he enthuses, “Let’s refocus. Show of hands, are we okay with everyone flirting with her if they want to?”
All hands go up, none of them opposed to anyone else shooting their shot. Felix pretends like all eyes aren’t on him as he easily raises his arm.
“Alright, next” Chris pushes on, “Do we think we can handle it if she chooses one of us?”
Hesitant murmurs sound around the room at this, but Felix has come to an understanding with himself during this meeting, so he speaks confidently when he says, ��I think we’ll be okay.”
His words seem to reassure the others, and a ripple of agreement and gentle ribbing starts circling the room.
“Alright,” Chris nods to himself, interrupting the wave before they could get started with any mischief. He really does know them too well.
“And finally,” he starts, an indecipherable expression crossing his face, “show of hands, who’s alright with the poly thing if it comes to it?”
This subject is more divisive, Han, Hyujin, and Felix’s hands going up, but Minho and Changbin stay quiet with worried faces. Seungmin holds his arm out in front of him with his thumb held out sideways. When questioned, he just says he’s not sure how he feels about it yet.
“We’ll circle back on that later, then.” Chris decides, “I think that’s one of those things we need to be unanimous on.”
Agreements sound out, and the atmosphere relaxes. The evening quickly devolves into an impromptu game night, the group quickly descending upon Felix’s console games like a pack of hyenas.
Felix gets up to switch the TV over to his switch, intentions of strong-arming everyone into playing Mario Party in mind. Chris grabs him by the elbow as he walks by, nodding over to the kitchen. Felix follows him over, already unbearably fond. 
“You sure you're good?” Chris asks lowly, “You've been her friend the longest, and we quite literally thought you were dating her already for a while there. They'll back off if you ask, you know.” 
Felix nods, smiling softly at their leader’s care. “I'm good I promise.” he swears, “I meant it when I said I liked it when my favorite people get along.”
He turns to look through the doorway back at the living room. Despite the strange and personal nature of their conversation, jokes and laughter flow easily now. As if there was never any tension at all. 
Felix can feel himself practically melt as he looks at them, a sentiment he knows their leader shares.
“It would hurt,” Felix admits, “If she chose someone else. But there’s no one I’d trust to hurt me more, y’know?”
Chris doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t really need to. He squeezes Felix’s elbow gently as the younger dives back into the chaos, and Felix knows he’s been understood.
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daydreamgoddess14 · 2 months ago
Text
💫 For Your Consideration - Act 3 💫
actor!Bucky x fem!actress!Reader (no use of y/n, l/n, reader is not described in any great detail. I save that for the gowns 💃)
Warnings: Hollywood AU, language, internet nasties, flirty!Bucky, a little power imbalance, age-gap (Bucky is around 40, actress reader is closer to 30 or younger if you prefer 🤭)... more to be added later.
Bucky Barnes, the suave and talented leading man of the 'Winter Soldier' movie series, finds himself on the red carpet circuit during awards season with his latest film 'The Howling Commandos'. But the season takes an unexpected turn when he crosses paths with a mesmerizing newcomer - the actress who has become the talk of Tinseltown with her captivating performance in her most recent film. Sparks fly as they navigate silly season in Hollywood, with a spotlight on their every move will their chemistry ignite a real life romance?
Note: I used Daisy for these insta posts just because their chemistry was so great, and the pictures fit perfectly. She's just here for the ~vibes~, not as a descriptor.
Tagging: @winchestert101 •
< Prev Act | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Next Act >
NOVEMBER 2025
It was a small set with only a tight crew, so it was easy to pick out her voice amongst the group. She had her back turned, talking animatedly with someone from her studio. Her posture, her laugh, everything about her pulled him in like a magnet.
"You're staring," Sam’s voice broke through his thoughts.
Bucky shook his head and turned to look at his best friend with a glare, but Sam’s grin was too knowing.
"I’m not staring," he muttered, his face flushing.
"Right. Sure, just... looking intensely." Sam shook his head, still smirking. "You should just go talk to her."
Bucky turned his attention back to her. She hadn’t noticed him yet, but his heart still thudded in his chest.
“I don’t do this,” he muttered.
“You do today, buddy, that's the whole idea of the segment. And behave yourself, she's already nervous.” Sam slapped him on the back and headed in her direction, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
Bucky exhaled slowly, trying to relax himself. He’d been in front of cameras more times than he could count, had done press junkets in five different time zones in the same week. But this felt… different.
When she finally turned, her eyes scanned the room, then landed on him.
The shift was immediate. The polite, professional smile she'd just given Sam faltered, just for a second, as recognition dawned. Then it curved into something more genuine. Something warm.
He raised a hand in greeting.
She hovered in the space between them, clearly debating whether or not to cross the studio floor and go to him.
He was surprised when she did.
“Hi,” she said, and her voice was a little breathless, like she hadn’t expected any of their surroundings to be real until now.
“Hi,” he echoed.
“It's nice to meet you,” she held out her hand and he took it.
“You too, properly this time.”
They sat in the two velvet seats angled toward each other, while production assistants moved the lighting, the table, shifted her chair a little more, adjusted the set dressings…
For a second, they were quiet while they were fussed over.
Then she grinned. “So… this is happening.”
He laughed, relaxing an inch. “This is happening.”
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Do I get to tell you I’m a fan now, or should I wait until it’s being recorded?”
“Depends,” he said, leaning back. “Do I get to tell you I’ve seen your movie twice?”
Her eyes widened. “Twice?”
“Couldn’t stop thinking about the chair,” he deadpanned.
She burst out laughing just as the producer called “Rolling in thirty seconds.”
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You heard laughter before you realised he'd arrived, you'd had your back to the door talking with a publicist from the studio.
They were lovely, and calming, but you couldn't help wishing you had Dani or Lulu around for moral support.
They could read your emotions and fears from a single breath.
When Sam Wilson, the man whose laughter you'd heard, gently placed a hand on your shoulder as he walked past, and smiled warmly, you turned to see Bucky in the doorway.
He looked just as composed as you remembered from the festival, though this time… there was something else. A softness around the eyes, maybe. The faintest smile tugging at his mouth as he spotted you.
Oh.
He was more handsome up close than you remembered. That wasn’t entirely fair.
“Nice to meet you,” you managed, your voice steadier than you felt as you stepped forward and held out your hand.
“You too, properly this time.” He said, his palm was warm against yours.
You were still recovering from the feel of it when the producer’s voice called out final cues.
As you both sat down, the lights flicked brighter and people milled around you.
It felt like you needed to get it off your chest, the fact that you were a fan, that you enjoyed his movies.
“Do I get to tell you I’m a fan now, or should I wait until it’s being recorded?” You asked cautiously, tucking your hair behind your ear.
You couldn't believe it when he said he'd seen your movie twice. Once, yes, you'd seen him there with your own eyes, but twice?
“Couldn’t stop thinking about the chair,” he told you calmly just as the director called rolling in thirty.
The sound of your laughter filled the set, the red light on the camera blinked on.
And just like that, it began.
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“So, how’s playing Sally Bowles been for you?” He asked, leaning forward slightly, genuinely interested. More interested than he probably should be.
“Well, it’s a challenge,” she admitted, her body settling into the chair like she was finally letting herself breathe. “It’s so much more than just the party girl act. You have to balance the darkness and the energy, but also stay grounded enough to play a woman who is truly struggling with addiction and self-worth. There’s a quote I think about a lot by another Sally: ‘The contradiction of playing Sally Bowles is you have to be sober, rested, well fed and hydrated to play a drunk, addicted party girl.’”
He smiled, something catching in his chest. The way she spoke about her work, there was no performance in it. She meant every word. “That makes perfect sense,” he said. “Sounds like all of my prep.”
“Yeah? Hydration is the key, right?” She grinned.
That grin knocked something loose in him.
“So what drew you to The Commandos?” She asked, tilting her head. “Other than the obvious chance to play the brooding leader?”
He huffed a quiet laugh. “That was pretty high on the list. No, I liked that it didn’t let the character off easy. He’s messy, broken. Still trying to be good. That kind of struggle… it’s human.” He paused, then looked at her, really, looked at her. “Same with your Sally.”
She paused, just for a moment, and then nodded.
“Yeah. People think Sally’s all glamour, but there’s this slow erosion underneath. You can’t fake that. You have to build it in piece by piece. You had a guy that was already on his knees -”
“And I had to build him back up, piece by piece,” he echoed, feeling the words settle somewhere deep. She got it. Not just the performance, him.
“You made it feel like Sally didn’t know she was falling apart,” he added, softer this time. “That was the most devastating part.”
“Thank you,” she said, voice barely above a whisper. She cleared her throat quickly, like she was trying to shake off the weight of his compliment.
He wanted to say something else. Something funny, maybe, to let her breathe again.
“What about you?” She asked before he could, “you’ve done so many action-heavy things, do you ever just want to sit in a room and cry on cue?”
“I mean, I basically did that on set anyway,” he said with a smirk. “They just edited it out.”
She laughed again, and he couldn’t help but lean in closer, drawn in by the sound.
“Yeah. I like work that cracks something open,” he admitted. “Makes you feel a little exposed. You can tell when you’re in the room with someone doing that.”
“Like you were saying before, messy and human,” she nodded.
“Exactly,” he murmured, his eyes not leaving her face.
As the interview moved on, he found himself wanting to just listen to everything she had to say.
He usually hated interviews and talking about himself, but she seemed so open and curious, he wanted to mirror her.
“So, how did you end up working with Yelena Belova? She’s amazing,” she held her hands up in awe.
“She just called, out of the blue, said, “I wrote this with you in mind.” Which is either really flattering or really threatening,” he started eagerly.
“Or both,” she added.
“Or both. She has such a clear vision, and the way she directs people is incredible. It's made me really appreciate the creative process from a new perspective. I couldn’t say no. She's sharp. Fierce. Kinda terrifying in the best way… I've got a friend for life in Yelena. How about you? How did you end up swapping a stage for a movie set?”
“I guess this film was kind of an extension of where I already was, I’d been doing musicals on stage, and this just... happened completely by chance.”
“That old chestnut,” he rolled his eyes in jest and she reached out to swat him gently.
“It's true,” she insisted. “When I auditioned for this role, I wasn’t even on the list. I’d got my times mixed up, showed up at the wrong place. The stagehand shoved me on without checking anything. If he had, he would’ve sent me away… I was meant to be there. Otherwise I never would’ve gotten this role.”
He sat back in his seat with a soft smile.
“Haven't told anyone that before,” she blushed.
“And now you're here. Fate, huh?”
“Fate.” She whispered.
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You were suddenly fully aware of his eyes on you. It felt like he was seeing straight through you, right to your bones. The air between you was taut.
“Fate,” you echoed, barely audibly, and for a moment, neither of you spoke.
Bucky cleared his throat, the corner of his mouth twitching. “So... can I ask how you feel about being immortalised by that poster?”
Your jaw dropped as you were momentarily caught off guard by the shift from intense to relaxed, then let out a laugh. “Well… it's weird because my face isn't exactly the main focus of our movie poster.”
Bucky grinned, settling back into his chair like he’d been waiting for the joke. “Really? I hadn't noticed.”
“Is that so?” You dared.
“Yeah, like I said earlier, I was taken in by the carpentry, to be honest.”
“You studied it, then?”
“Purely for research. I’m very thorough when it comes to furniture.”
“Well, if you know anyone that needs a chair model, my rates are negotiable.”
“I’ll talk to my agent,” he smirked. “That chair’s been living rent-free in my brain ever since.”
You couldn't help your grin widening at his comment. “Wow. Must’ve been some impressive craftsmanship.”
“It really was. Clean lines. Great structure. Memorable silhouette.”
“Memorable, hmm?” You pinched your lips together in an effort to hide just how amusing you found him.
“Unforgettable, actually.”
“You’re a lot more dangerous than you look,” you said, half-laughing as you settled deeper into your chair.
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh? That so?”
You nodded. “You’re funny, you’re sharp… people should be warned.”
“I’ll put it in my bio.”
Your smile lingered as you looked down at your lap. “Honestly? I was terrified to do this interview.”
He looked genuinely surprised. “Really?”
“Yeah. You’ve got that super cool guy, intense stare, probably hates small talk kind of reputation.” You shrugged, sitting back in your chair.
“I do hate small talk,” he agreed with a smile.
“I knew it.” Your laughed before adding, “You’re way more fun than I expected.”
“Don’t tell anyone,” he warned, “I’ve got a brand to maintain.”
“Ahh, too late! I’m screenshotting every joke for future blackmail,” you giggled.
“Guess I’ll have to keep being funny, then.”
He smiled like it was a promise.
You vaguely heard the crew calling wrap, but neither of you moved.
He glanced over as a technician leaned in to unhook his mic, and you stood, brushing your hands down your skirt, suddenly aware of his eyes still on you.
“It was really nice talking to you,” you said, your voice lower now, a little softer. It felt strange, trying to close the distance with words after talking non-stop for two hours.
“Yeah. You too.”
His gaze hadn’t dropped. It didn’t waver.
You hesitated, then stepped closer, heart racing. “I feel like... we’ve earned a hug?”
His mouth curved, his smile giving you butterflies. “More than earned.”
He pulled you into his arms, and for a second, the ground under your feet slipped sideways. He was solid warmth. His steady breath lingered against your ear, a contrast to your own shaky exhale, he had one large hand low on your back, the other pressing just firmly enough to make you forget how to stand.
You didn’t mean to linger. But you did.
So did he.
When you finally pulled back, your fingertips skimmed his arm a second too long, like they didn’t want to let go. He looked at you and you felt his gaze trap you, like a spark catching the hem of something flammable.
Someone called your name. You turned your head reluctantly.
And when you looked back at him, it was with a smile you couldn’t quite contain.
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Bucky stepped outside into the fading light, the buzz of the interview still vibrating under his skin. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to shake the ridiculous grin tugging at his mouth.
She’d surprised him. Undone him, a little.
It wasn’t just the way she looked, though, sure, that didn’t hurt, but it was the way she talked. The way she held her ground, made him laugh, made him feel like maybe he wasn’t so closed off after all.
They were supposed to be promoting their films. Instead, he’d spent most of the interview feeling like he was on a date.
He could hear Sam in his ear; “You should just go talk to her.”
He had. And now he didn’t want any of it to end.
His thumb hovered over Instagram. Her profile was already pulled up.
He didn’t even remember doing that.
His jaw flexed.
Her laugh still echoed in his ears, real and effortless. God, he hadn’t expected her to be funny. It messed with his head a little, how fast she’d gone from “the girl from the festival” to someone he couldn’t stop trying to impress.
Sam was waiting in the hallway, scrolling through something on his phone. “You gonna ask her out or just write sonnets about her in your Notes app?”
Bucky shoved him lightly. “Shut up.”
“Bucky-thinks-he’s-slick-but-he’s-smitten,” Sam’s singsong voice followed him down the corridor toward the exit.
But Bucky’s heart was thudding louder than Sam’s teasing.
She was unexpected.
Sharp, grounded, warm. And more than that… interested. Maybe?
And he already wanted more.
He wondered what the appropriate amount of time was to wait before sending her a message.
What did normal people do?
He didn’t do this. Didn’t date, didn’t flirt. Barely socialised.
He finished his movies, promoted them when he was told to, and then disappeared back to quiet routines and the safety of anonymity.
But The Howling Commandos was different.
It was already generating as much buzz as his Winter Soldier series ever had, maybe more… but this wasn’t just popcorn cinema. This was the first time his name had been mentioned in conjunction with awards season.
And to campaign? To be in with a shot?
He had to step out of his comfort zone.
Maybe that started with a DM.
He mulled it over for a day or two.
Then the promotional clips dropped.
And because the studios had money to make and investors and fans to please… They started with a clip of the hug.
He knew it had reached a fever pitch when Sam sent him a TikTok with the caption “That’s not an interview, that’s foreplay.”
He read Sam's accompanying message and gritted his teeth, speaking his own reply into existence, “this is all out of context and you know it.”
He scrolled past another fancam titled ‘I fear we are in our enemies to friends to lovers to Academy Award-winning power couple era.’
He shut the app. Opened it again ten seconds later.
This was ridiculous. He’d done movies with Oscar winners, shared red carpets with people he grew up watching.
But she was the one he couldn’t stop thinking about.
He watched it all unfold, his heart bouncing off the walls of his chest, but he still hadn’t messaged.
It wasn’t just the hug, or the interview.
It was everything.
He stared at her profile photo in his DMs.
Typed a message. Deleted it.
Typed again.
hey, was great meeting you yesterday. you did great, it was the most fun I’ve had in an interview in a long time. BB
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You watched the promo clips drop from a hotel room.
The room was quiet except for the soft hum of the air conditioner. You were curled under the duvet, your phone held inches from your face, the screen cast a pale blue glow over you.
There’s ship names, screengrabs, slowed-down footage of you both, memes, headlines… So many headlines.
“Interview Chemistry Sends Fans into a Frenzy”, “Cabaret Queen and Commandos Star: Something Brewing?”
You curled further into bed, feeling more overwhelmed with each flick of your thumb.
Twitter was a war zone.
Your name was trending. His name was trending.
Every clip of the interview had already been dissected, subtitled, turned into thirsty little edits that made your stomach flip with secondhand embarrassment.
“the way he LOOKS at her???”
“they’re already married in my mind”
You dropped the phone to your chest, breathing out slowly.
It had all felt so real in the moment. You weren’t performing. You’d forgotten about the cameras halfway through, forgotten about the entire world watching.
And now you had to wonder - you couldn't not - was he performing? Was he playing up to the camera? Knowing it would generate… this?
Every time you refreshed, there were a hundred more posts.
Edits. Threads. Think pieces.
Some were calling it PR genius.
Some were calling it love at first sight.
You had to laugh at that one.
It was just an interview. Two people talking.
You'd had coffee dates with less eye contact.
And yet...
You watched another clip, muted.
The moment right after you'd teased him, when he looked at you like he knew things he wasn’t supposed to.
Your stomach flipped, traitorous and warm.
You opened Twitter again and switched to the Trending page.
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Big mistake.
It sent you spiraling.
Should you have said less? More? Did you come across too eager? Was it that obvious that you liked him?
The internet certainly thought so.
You watched clips of the interview stitched next to slowed-down footage of the hug.
That only sent you further downwards.
How long would it be before the comments turned? Before you were portrayed as desperate? Fake? Scheming?
It wouldn't be the first time.
You locked your phone, tossed it to the other side of the bed like it had burned you.
Tried to breathe.
Tried not to care.
Your chest felt tight, your heart raced.
You needed your dad.
He'd pick you back up, with a hug, a large gin and his famous lemon drizzle cake.
Across the bed, a notification lit up your screen.
Followed by a buzz against the soft sheets.
You sighed, expecting another alert, another headline.
But it was a message. From him.
You stared at it.
Read it twice. Three times.
Your stomach twisted, then swooped.
Ok.
Ok.
You weren’t going to read into it.
You picked the phone up like it might bite, thumbs hovering uselessly.
What were you even supposed to say?
Thanks? You too?
God, you were an adult. A professional. Get it together.
You typed a reply.
Deleted it.
Tried again.
Sent.
Regretted.
Immediately locked your phone again and buried your face in the duvet.
You didn't expect a reply, but there was another buzz.
He called you doll.
Who were you kidding, he probably called everyone doll.
You replied again, another response that absolved him of any need to reply.
You set your phone down slowly and stared at the ceiling with a stupid smile.
You were in so much trouble.
God help you if he replied again.
God help you if he didn't.
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92 notes · View notes
nouvellevqgue · 2 years ago
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✦ LIKE AN UNKNOWN SIGN, C. LECLERC
sometimes, hidden love without sign is just unknown
req: Maybe a smau for Charles Leclerc x Reader but he’s with Alexandra and everyone wants them to like get tgt and she like posts stuff that’s like telling him to break up with her and at the end he breaks up with Alex and they end up tgt
fc: olivia rodrigo
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, lailahasanovic, and 520,143 others
yourusername 🥦🌱⛳🍵☘️
👤: nbcsnl
view comments...
username damn green looks good on you
astonmartinf1 😌☘️
username oh no aston martin commented, does this mean...
⤷ username nah don't
username your performance was good omg wish i was there😭😭
tatemcrae wish you were here
tatemcrae miss you real bad
⤷ yourusername miss you too baby<3☹️☹️
username okay laila i can tell, but charles i don't know
⤷ username laila and mick are her friends, she definitely know charles and vice versa 🤷🏼‍♀️
⤷ username but still bcs it's quite sus
lailahasanovic that fur coat is top tier i want it
⤷ yourusername same honestly😭
username poor alex she deserves better☹️
username he should've be with her fr i mean HIS INTERVIEW???
⤷ username he's a fan alright, and so do we
⤷ username DON'T U UNDERSTAND HIS FEELINGS FOR HER IS NOT JUST A FAN THEIR WITH IDOL SORT OF RELATIONSHIP
⤷ username y/n belong to charles. period
username i'm hoping that she's aware with these comments and ended up making a crazy songs about alex and building a tons of gossips around the paddock. it's gonna be so much fun oml
louispartridge grinch
⤷ yourusername elf
scuderiaferrari 🥴❤️
⤷ username ok fuck now ferrari commented i know it's complicated
yourusername added to their story!
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caption: he ain't wrong, this kinda looks like a grinch. thanks louispartridge for the reminder.
replying to: yourusername 's story
still with louis?
replying to: charles_leclerc
you know there's nothing between us
and how about you and alex? are you still with her or something?
seen
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc and 781,290 others
yourusername i only speak truth 🗣️
view comments...
bradmondo slaying natural look as usual
⤷ username i thought it was brad pitt for a sec💀💀
username new album when?
username new song when
username she's so stunning
username mother slayed as always
florencepugh i miss our kitchen fight😔
⤷ yourusername sameeee😭😭
louispartridge you forgot your sunny
⤷ yourusername i already edit it on photoshop
⤷ username omg louisy/n interaction is real😍
⤷ username IT'S JUST A SINGLE (1) INTERACTION AND YOU SAID THEY'RE TOGETHER????
⤷ username say that to yourself shipping y/n and charles
⤷ username you see how charles is here now huh
⤷ username what she just a random selebgram
⤷ username WDYM RANDOM SELEBGRAM??????????
lancestroll hey come get your man he won't answer my call after last night
⤷ username what last night
⤷ carlossainz55 lancestroll you know she has a private account right?
⤷ landonorris nothing happened last night, everyone goodbye
⤷ username that's not a proper goodbye and you know it lando
⤷ username something happened and twitter are still cold...
⤷ yourusername 😐
⤷ landonorris how about we set up a barbeque party?
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
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₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt and 470,511 others
yourusername babysitter for hire
view comments...
username i know but we need a break up song rn
username tell me she's in love and hiding it (she's bad at hiding her feelings)
liked by charles_leclerc
username but tbh i don't believe if her album is about love. and if it is, some songs are definitely about her prev break up
username can y'all just enjoy her content?
username petition for taylorswift to invite her to be in eras tour
isahernaez mi linda hermanita😍🥰
sabrinacarpenter can't believe you bought the american girl
⤷ yourusername should've bought the british girl then
⤷ sabrinacarpenter monaco girl
comment has been deleted
⤷ username what the fuck i'm heading to twitter rn
username what is this sabrina and y/n???????? having a conv without starting a war??
username SABRINA AND Y/N NATION WHAT ARE WE FEELING NOW?
irisapatow the bff cupcake is true but there's no me, so i claim it as a false
⤷ yourusername no u no probs 😎
⤷ irisapatow 🖕🏻
username after she release sour, i think it's time to do sweet yourusername?
⤷ yourusername i'll do bitter instead.
username charles with alex, there ain't no way
⤷ rachelzegler please take the truth
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
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₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
yourusername and vogue
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vogue aspiring singer y/n l/n is sharing her thoughts about her newest single, ‘all-american bitch’ and about her rumoured love triangle between the formula one driver, charles leclerc, and enola holmes actor, louis partridge.
view comments...
iamrebeccad pretty baby 🤩
⤷ username now rebecca's here, is this not enough for yall to think that charles is with her rn
⤷ username c'mon that is innocent, she just supporting her💀
username YESSSSS VOGUE NOTICED‼️‼️🗣️🔥
username mother is back photoshooting y'all
username charles break up with alex challenge
username pls just be with charles
username wdym she's great with louis
username MY LIFE HAS BEEN RESTORED
username Y/N AND CHARLES Y/N AND CHARLES Y/N AND CHARLES Y/N AND CHARLES Y/N AND CHARLES
username she's literally so stunning omg
charlottesiine 👑
⤷ yourusername no u 👸🏻
⤷ username mothers interacting
⤷ username green light from cha everybody
⤷ username she literally said like, "just get him girl"
sabrinacarpenter added to their story!
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caption: what a (real) american bitch should look like:
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
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₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
charles_leclerc and meta
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liked by charles_leclerc, zuck, and 148,790 others
meta charles_leclerc and our camera glasses is going out karting in los angeles🥳🏁
view comments...
username literally 🤓
username akshually ☝️🤓
username he is not maxplaining so relax
carlossainz55 you see the early comments? AJAJAJAJAJAJA
⤷ charles_leclerc i tried my best and you just be like this? what is this kind of teammate
yourusername hello you standard office worker
meta pretty nerdy✨
username NOT YN SAYING HE LOOK NERDY TOO😭😭
username but he looks so good in it tho
username y/n 🤝 carlos = saying he looks nerdy without saying he looks like it
username girl wym is that🫵🏻😭
username who's p1?
⤷ landonorris a W meta worker
⤷ charles_leclerc lie
⤷ landonorris no no don't try, because i'm there too
⤷ yourusername beaten by a morker
⤷ charles_leclerc it's not him, and what is a morker
⤷ yourusername meta worker🤓
f1wagsupdate
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f1wagsupdate charles rumoured (second) girlfriend, y/n, is seen leaving a local cafe in los angeles yesterday with a mysterious man with a tan hoodie and a sunglasses. sources said that she is keeping her relationship strict with privacy.
view comments...
username she's off with louis and now she's with another man?? why is she so childish?
username how old is she why is she looks so damn short?
username bet it's louis they're reconciling
⤷ username keep dreaming girly i'll wake u up
username nonono it's charles i know
username GOD WHY IS IT ALWAYS THEM BOTH PLS GUESS FOR ANOTHER
username for the love of god she hasn't breaking up with louis yet pls stop
username god forbid her to have a male friend
username they WERE friend PLEASEEEE😭😭
username literally manifesting that it'll be charles
username but if it's charles, what abt louis? will he get his own sad album?
⤷ username i think it's charles who will get the song/album
username get over it guys she's literally a child
username she's mature enough to stay with one especially when it's THE louis partridge
username idc with the rumours but she looks good with her fits
⤷ yncloset slayed as always
username no but shush do you realize charles' partnership with meta is also in la
⤷ username SHUT UP DON'T MAKE ME THINK ABT IT🫵🏼😭😭😭
⤷ username wait yeah but idc i don't want to trace the line
joris__trouche added to their story!
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₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
yourusername is added to their story!
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caption: what the fucks happening
944 notes · View notes
kunikame · 13 days ago
Text
#PURPLE LILACS !
[13] - the weight of an arm (increased by a lie) | prev. | m. list | next
ace trappola x fem!reader smau
! warning(s) : soft angst if u squint, fluff, sorry ive been gone for so long uni kicked me to the curb i lost my will to live BUT IM BACK FROM WAR KUNIKAME NATION !!!
! w/c : 796
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it was a couple of weeks later, during another one of the first year hangouts, that it first happened.
you’ve been steadily getting closer with ace, and despite the initial… rocky start to your friendship, you found you had a bunch of things in common. once you’ve learned to see through the veils of your anger, it was actually quite easy to learn to like the ginger (even though he was terribly annoying at times). thanks to that improvement, you’ve gotten a tad closer with your other companions as well, and so have they, bit by bit, learned to like ace the tiniest bit more. hangouts happened more frequently and flowed way easier – ramshackle had steadily grown into more of a ‘home’ than the word itself could describe.
on occasions like these, you sometimes get flashes of the past that blur too easily with the present. it‘s too easy to imagine deuce in a bike related conversation with your dad, taking up the greater portion of the couch in your house, sebek and jack playing cards on the floor and epel scrolling on his phone, while you and ace chat with your mom in the kitchen over running water and the clatter of dishes. ace would say one of his stupid jokes and your mom would start laughing because her humour had always been easy to cater to, and you just know she would have absolutely adored him – them – were she ever to be given the chance to meet them.
whenever these images flashed in your mind, they were soon accompanied by the weight of an arm around your shoulders, which if you were to follow to the source would unmistakably lead to a mop of ginger hair, and if you looked, really looked – because if ace trappola is anything, he’s a master of deceit – a flash of concern in the crease of his brows, unnoticed if one didn’t study his face close and often enough.
the first time it happened, you shrugged the confusion off and pinned it to ace simply being ace; the realization that the images in your mind could never be real left you impossibly cold, and aces arm was warm, so you allowed it to stay. just this once.
but then it happened again. and again. and again and again and again.
an arm slung over your shoulders, a brush of the knees, a hand covering yours, then a link of pinkies – a silent promise to comfort.
“hey, i’ve been meaning to ask, why do you do this?”
he turns to face you, lollipop stick hanging out of his mouth, “do what?”
you raise your pinky-twined hands to face level and nudge your head towards them, as if to make a point, and he lets out a thoughtful hum somewhere in the back of his throat. as he stares at your hands, he furrows his brows in the same barely noticeable way again, as if he himself was unsure, looking for an answer, an explanation.
“you make this.. face, sometimes,” he starts, hesitant in his words, “like you’re carrying the weight of 2 worlds on your shoulders, one you live in, and one you wish you did. it wasn’t all that hard to, kinda, get a rough idea of what that meant. whenever i tried to get you out of the trance with food or words, it didn’t work, so i figured if you felt a real weight instead of an imaginary one, it would.. help?”
there’s a small moment between the end of his speech and you taking it in, where he looks at you, not like a burden, or an annoyance – more like a magic trick he’s trying to figure out, seeking answers you yourself don’t have and solutions you can’t give, because there is not one thought in your head other than a bright, flashing, neon “oh”.
“it does,” you smile at him and it’s like the first flowers of spring have just bloomed, “thank you, ace. for being the only weight on my shoulders that matters.”
there’s a short pause, like kindness wasn’t the response he was expecting, until he removes the lollipop from his mouth with his free hand and shoots you a wink, “anytime, [name]”
the world might have stopped spinning for you when the reality of your situation sank in, but with the arrival of spring, you’ve noticed the sun still rose and fell every day, so perhaps it wasn’t the world that stopped spinning, but you.
as you sat there, pinkies intertwined with the ginger next to you, you felt your head slowly lean to the right, taking up its new place on his shoulder.
and as the sun set and the world spun, you felt yourself slowly returning to orbit with it once more.
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## ❝ after the events of the phantom bride wedding, ace started wondering whether he still had the ability to charm girls. he hasn’t thought about anyone romantically in years, hasn’t really flirted with anyone either, what if he’s gone out of it? perhaps it’s time to put his talents to the test; with the person who hates him most, no less. if he can charm her, he can charm anyone. ❞
#TAGLIST ! : @solxima @gabirii @lunavixia @y2unagiz @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @borlining @verity-moon @myunghology @doughnuts-eater @lifeless-bug @babygurlenthusiast @shirishere @xopeach @stormyovent0aster @bontensbabygirl @ars-tral @epelossa @sinofthesloth @skeet-2 @everettelz @sakuram1nt @shatiyuh @ambigrueity @junebunny06 @norylight @dyedracoonhair @persm1net @meowbuscompany @sugarrush-blush @oopsie-daisy-doo @shinameii @jaiistg @erigaur @hananan2 @lucky-whispers @capr1c0rnstar @krisvslove @pomegranateboba @meigalaxy // ask/comment or fill form to be added/removed! (if you’re in bold i can’t tag you)
75 notes · View notes
fallstaticexit · 10 months ago
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Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort
Geoffrey and Bob Karaoke selection- Creep - Radiohead
AN: A little more insight on Nancy and her major: Nancy is majoring in architecture. The Landgraabs are famously known for owning land and property- both residential and commercial- and Nancy will eventually operate the part of family business that will allow her to design houses, buildings and other structures in addition to leasing. (Geoffrey comes from a family of doctors but he decided to get a business degree- as he knows this would likely please Nancy's parents)
Transcript under the cut
Siobhan: Think about it, Nancy! Making your mark on this university—on the world—begins with Theta!
Becca: Nice one, you two.
Nancy: They only want me to join their organization because it’ll benefit them. All they care about is money -Ouch!
Geoffrey: [winces] Sorry. Your knees are completely raw.
Geoffrey: They’ve only got as far as knowing your name. If you give them a chance to get to know the real you-
Nancy: There’s nothing to know! Why do you think I had my parents make arrangements so I’d have my own room? I don’t want roommates. I don’t want friends! I just want to do my time so I can-
Geoffrey: Get away, I know...but what if you just take the next four years to have fun? It’s ok to just enjoy it for what it is. Isn’t that what college is all about?
Nancy: [scoffs] Sure, for you. You don’t have the same expectations as me.
Nancy: You can be anything you want. You can join any sports team; you can switch your major a million times if you want to. I have to excel at everything I do, whether I want to or not, and I cannot come out of this a failure. I have to be ready to start working along with my parents the moment I graduate.
Geoffrey: I just want you to be happy. I want you to take care of yourself. Be kinder to yourself. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. You’re a good person. You’re an amazing person, Nancy. Anyone would be lucky to be apart of your life.
Geoffrey: Does this hurt?
Nancy: Yes. It hurts.
Nancy: You’re too good for me.
Geoffrey: Don’t say that.
Geoffrey: It’s Karaoke night at Tab’s. Bobby and I wanted to check it out. Did you want to go?
Nancy: I think I’ll pass. I should get started on this project for Munch. I want to get ahead.
Geoffrey: If you change your mind, come down and unwind a bit. Have fun. Eat. Ok?
Nancy: Ok.
Geoffrey: I love you, Nance.
[door shuts]
Nancy Narrates: [I’m holding him back. A selfish part of me knows it, but I can’t fathom the thought of losing someone else]
[distant laughter]
Nancy: Heavenly Father, help me to find peace in Your love and wisdom-
Geoffrey and Bob Karaoke Pick: Creep by Radiohead I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here
[crowd whistles and cheers]
I don't care if it hurts I wanna have control
I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul
Morgan: [hums] Upright High Priestess. That’s twice now. Once again, my intuition is being called forth.
I want you to notice When I'm not around
Morgan: My appetite is off. I can’t focus. If I weren’t on the pill, I’d think I was knocked up. So. What does that leave me with? I can almost bet this is all connected to-
Morgan: You! You have something to do with this.
Nancy: [frowns] Do with...what, exactly?
You're so fuckin' special I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
Morgan: Rich Christian girl with walls as high as Berlin stumbles on campus and taps my shoulder. I had a dream the night before that I placed an injured dove back into its nest. I think this is fate. Sit. I’ll do your reading. Free of charge, of course.
Nancy Narrates: [I didn’t know it then, how right she was. About fate. About everything]
What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here
210 notes · View notes
jimilter · 6 months ago
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on the borderline — 05 | pjm. (m)
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Park Jimin has been your buoy, your anchor and the ship of sanity that guides you to shore amid storms of self-doubt, nearly all your life; as have you been his. That is not to say nothing has ever brewed beneath the surface of platonic friendship, or that the two of you have never been victims to mistiming. Regardless, you would never risk the friendship you have with him now for anything. Even if you have to hurt him – or even yourself – in the process.
pairing: jimin x reader
rating: m (18+)
genre: angst | drama | friends to lovers!au
word count: 7.6 k
— warnings: swearing + repeated mention & description of sex (some gets detailed and explicit, hence the rating!) + mention of a past toxic relationship + perhaps a present toxic relationship? + the worst kind of emotional constipation + misunderstandings + lies and pretense +one-sided feelings + reader is a bigger mess + jimin is a mess too :/
— note: HAPPY NEW YEAR 2025, PEOPLE! <3 it was excruciating getting back into this one but it was also kinda therapeutic bec real life has been whooping my ass :( i have begun writing the sixth part too bec i truly forreal wish to complete this series without taking another year helP!
ps. the rating, genre and warnings mentioned above pertain to this chapter, only.
main masterlist | taglist | feedback?
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↪ series masterlist | ◃ prev ⁘ next ▹
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𝐕 ⇢ 𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐒𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓 ♪ between heaven and disaster
07:03 AM | Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 hey sorry i missed all your calls and texts :( i figured u would ask abt seokjin and the date and i kinda didn’t wanna talk abt it not necessarily in a bad way just a “let me figure it out first” way which still doesn’t excuse ghosting u so i AM rly sorry :( how was your flight? and the dinner meeting?
07:16 AM ↳ SHE LIVES!!!!!! ↳ Good morning Grumpkincess <3 ↳ All that you said about your date has just made 1000x curious now yk ↳ Oh, and I had a horrible flight ↳ My partner drooled on my $70 shirt 😭 ↳ Barely had time to change it before our meeting at 4 UGH
Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 good morning WHAT now ? that better not be a new pet name park jimin
↳ Yes it is, Grumpkincess ↳ A grumpy pumpkin princess ↳ Adorable right?
Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 ykw your cringe ass deserved getting your shirt ruined karma 🖕
↳ Ihy 🖕 ↳ Ok enough of this can we pls talk???
Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 ??? are we not talking?
Jimin rears back from his phone almost violently. Did you, of all people, really just imply that texting is equivalent to talking? He is pretty sure that of the entire time that the two of you have lived in separate towns, you have spent more than half of it on video calls with each other.
That is talking for the two of you.
Or at least it used to be, before he got onto this flight which has apparently landed him in some parallel universe. 
He immediately sits up in bed and calls you.
And you immediately disconnect the call.
What?
His jaw is still dropped when his phone vibrates in his palm again, indicating an incoming voice call from you. Scowling, Jimin nearly whines a what the fuck into the phone.
“I look like dogshit, dude, please,” you groan from your end.
“Seriously? You’re telling me you won’t show me your face because you look bad?” Rolling his eyes, Jimin reclines on his bed, a little assured at hearing your voice but also a little confused by your words. “Dude. I’ve seen you with puke all over your clothes, I’ve seen you with cum on your face, I’ve seen you with a black eye, I’ve seen you with—”
“Okay, I get it!” you interrupt with another groan. “I feel like dogshit, then. Is that better?”
Now he is concerned. “No. Obviously. How can that be better? Babe, what’s going on? You’re being…”
“Weird? Bitchy? Whiny? Annoying?”
“No, just…” He bites his bottom lip. “A little unlike yourself.”
“Wow, that's worse.” You give a small sigh. “I’ll be fine, I just need to recalibrate my head. Don't worry.” 
How can he not worry when you sound this tired and timid? Jimin almost wants to ask if Seokjin has something to do with it. But then his brain starts to conjure up images featuring exactly how that man could have tired you out and that leaves a bad taste in his mouth, followed by a series of negative emotions that make his heart race and his head hurt.
He went through this same series of emotions last evening, too, when you didn’t respond to his messages. He doesn’t want to give himself enough time to analyze any part of it, though, because he isn’t ready to face what he might uncover.
“How can I help?” he ends up asking, because putting his mind to literally anything else would be better than self-introspection right now.
You don’t respond immediately and everything is so quiet that Jimin can hear your breathing on the other side. Then you hum. “Honestly? Just give me a little time, Min. I’ll be fine.”
“Time? As in…time away from this conversation?”
“Yes, dork. Some time by myself, with my thoughts.” You chuckle as you say the words but Jimin doesn’t find them funny. 
He swallows the tight discomfort in the back of his throat and scoffs in response, though. “Well, okay then. Your funeral. And here I was thinking I will tell you about this weirdly snobbish butler-assistant guy the clients brought with them to the meeting last night.”
“Wait, butler-assistant?” You exclaim with a curious scoff, and Jimin smiles at the spark of the familiar humour that tinges your voice. “What the fuck is that?”
“Escapes me! They had this Alfred lookalike guy driving their limo, who joined in when they sat at the table with us, and—get this—dude kept interrupting me to tell his boss the time every fifteen minutes! What fucking clownery!” Jimin pauses to inhale, slightly disappointed when he hears you give a distant chuckle. You’re not invested. Your head’s somewhere else. He doesn’t want to share his story anymore. “I might sock him in the face if pulls that shit again, today.”
You give a hum in response, which sounds decidedly half-hearted. “I’m sure your intimidating scowls would’ve scared him away already, Min. He probably won’t join your meeting today.”
Jimin’s mouth slowly parts at the unfamiliarity of your remark. You never miss any opportunity to roast him about being a pacifist. How did you allow his claim of throwing a punch to go by so easily? 
And intimidating scowls? What happened to calling them ‘little bitch stare-downs’?
First you refuse to show him your face, sticking to this annoying voice call that’s overheating his phone because he doesn't have his airpods with him right now, and then you’re talking in a language that is so unlike you.
The discomfort in the back of his throat swells into a strange feeling that reaches the pit of his stomach.
“Yeah, I hope so… Sure.” His words come out low, hoarse and confused. So he clears his throat and puts a grin on his face. “Anyways! You sound like you need a fat nap to function like yourself again – I'll allow you to have that.”
“Mm-hm, I agree.” It could be his imagination, but you sound almost relieved. “I’ll call you soon, okay? Say hi to Tara for me.”
Jimin grunts and disconnects the call, immediately tossing his phone away as if it has personally offended him. Well maybe not the device, but the caller certainly has.
Just then, the door to the suite’s balcony opens and shuts, footsteps making their way to the other twin bed opposite the one he's lying on. He's almost counting down the seconds before a comment is made, and he doesn't have to wait long, when:
“Trouble in paradise?” comes Min Yoongi's taunting lilt.
Exhaling in ire, Jimin rolls his eyes. “For the last time: there’s no paradise to trouble, Yoongi.”
“You know what I mean, dude. You look worried. And frustrated. It's got to be about…her.”
Jimin winces at the emphasis on the pronoun. “She's not Voldemort, dude, you can say her name. What the fuck?”
“Ah, is that so? Then how about… the love of your life?” 
“Yoongi! Stop with that already, man. It's not like that between us, we’re just friends who lean on each other for support,” Jimin speaks on autopilot, having perfected the words he has been repeating ever since his colleagues got to know about your existence in his life. “It’s a strange dynamic but it works out well for—”
“Oh, shut up, King of Delusions. About time you stop fooling yourself and me with that bullcrap.” Now it's Yoongi's turn to scoff at Jimin. “Your feelings for her are becoming more and more obvious with time. And if I can see them with such clarity, I bet that you can as well. Which only means that you’re knowingly turning a blind eye. And it is pissing me off.”
So, yeah, this isn't the first time Jimin's hearing this lecture from his friend. 
It’s always the same story whenever any mention of you happens in Min Yoongi’s vicinity. Jimin should, ideally, be immune to the non-stop badgering, but the older guy somehow always manages to bring in fresh points to the table, so Jimin is forced to react with even louder groans, each time.
“When the hell are you going to admit you’re in love with her?”
“I’m literally not,” Jimin’s complaint comes out as a whine, and he mentally counts down the seconds till Yoongi will bring up the fact that he was stopped from pursuing you by Jimin. He wonders if the actual reason why Yoongi does this is because the guy still has a crush on you and feels resentful towards Jimin for not letting him ask you out. “Please stop.”
“You’re not in love? Sure, buddy. You forbade me from pursuing her like some alpha male protective of his mate… doesn't get more soulmate-y than that!” Yoongi rolls his eyes with a grimace. “When the fuck are you going to face yourself?”
“This again? Seriously? I've told you countless times that I did that because she was uncomfortable with your affections,” he reminds Yoongi for what feels like the hundredth time. “I was being a good friend.”
“Right, and she still doesn't know anything about it, does she? She still thinks I stopped pursuing her because I lost interest. Why haven't you told her you had a talk with me?”
Jimin closes his eyes and drags both his palms down his face because Yoongi is absolutely correct. “I… Because it doesn't concern her.”
Yoongi is silent for a while. When Jimin peeks past his fingers to see if the guy may have fallen asleep, he finds Yoongi gaping at him. “Are you even listening to yourself? You stopped me from pursuing her because she's uncomfortable, but telling her about it doesn't concern her? Make it make sense, Park!” He scoffs. “Does she even know we're friends? Does she know you're on this trip with me?”
Jimin remains silent, slowly turning his head to the other direction. “Not really. Told her I'm accompanied by Tara,” he mumbles, only for Yoongi to give a dramatic gasp.
“What? She doesn't know we're friends? Why the fuck would you lie to her about me? Are you ashamed of me, you asshole? And Tara, of all people? What the fuck is wrong with your head?”
Jimin almost laughs at Yoongi’s horrified expressions, but then stops himself because he half suspects the guy might toss him off the balcony if irritated enough, and they’re on the twentieth floor. “It's just… It never came up, I guess? I… don't really talk to her about work much…” His excuse is so weak it makes him physically cringe.
“You were literally just crying to her about our client's butler…”
“Okay, okay, fine!” Jimin sits up, sliding back to rest his head against the headboard, and looks up at the ceiling. “I don't know why I couldn't tell her. But it's not because I'm in love with her, okay? That doesn't even make sense because I still tease her about you for fun. And I also didn't stop you from pursuing her because I wanna be with her, or anything. I don't have those kinds of feelings for her. Promise.”
“Okay. What kind of feelings do you have for her then?”
Jimin opens his mouth to reiterate that you're just friends, briefly shutting his eyes in exasperation—and then freezes. 
An entire cinematic reel of images sets in motion behind his closed eyelids, all featuring your eyes, your skin, your warmth — and his intimacy with them. The darkened haze of your gaze when he pulled away from kissing you. The softness of the skin of your shoulder when he dug his teeth into it; the taste of your skin. Of you. He can nearly smell the scent of your hair in his lungs and can hear the short, hitched breaths you puffed out next to his ears. 
His heart rate kicks up and sweat dots his forehead within the seconds it takes for him to open his eyes again.
It is as if he got dunked into scalding hot water, stifling him and overwhelming all his senses all at once. He feels warm all over. His chest feels heavier than before.
Shit.
This isn't the kind of behavior someone’s ‘just friend’ would exhibit. These aren’t the kind of thoughts he has ever had about you, before.
Shit. 
“Well?” Yoongi is looking at him expectantly with zero judgement in his gaze. “What kind of feelings, Jimin?”
He and Yoongi share a sort of bond where they serve as each other’s sounding boards about decisions that they take at work, with their team. That is not to say that they aren’t good friends and only talk about work. But it’s just that these conversations have never really included much honesty from Jimin’s end whenever the topic hovered over you. 
Jimin can feel that he is about to change that now, though. 
He breathes in and honestly confesses to Yoongi what he hasn't even said to himself out loud, yet: “They’re… confusing.” 
Yoongi nearly jumps off his bed and lands on one corner of Jimin's, eyebrows raised and mouth agape. “Confusing? Not strictly platonic the way they used to be? Dude…” He shakes his head in awe. “This is new. What's changed?” 
Jimin fiddles with his thumbs, lips pursed together as he finds himself caught in a very uncharacteristic fit of nervousness. “So there's this… this thing that happened before I left for this trip… And it changed some things, I guess?”
Yoongi blinks at him, expressions dropped to a deadpan. “You slept with her, didn't you?”
“Wha—how the hell—”
“I’m older than you, I've seen more in this world than you have, so hush with the theatrics. Tell me what happened after that.”
Well. Where does he begin? “She… went on a date with a guy, so—”
“A date? Right after the day you had sex with her?”
Jimin clicks his tongue and shoves Yoongi's shoulder. “Yes and it's not a big deal, okay? We decided that we are going to move ahead and remain the kind of best friends we've always been. And she'd made plans for that date before we slept together, so it's all completely fine.”
Yoongi is squinting at him by the time Jimin stops speaking. “Hm. Is it, really? All completely fine?”
“Yes, it is! I just said it was!”
“O—kay? So what's the problem, then? You decided you both would move ahead and you did – what's the catch? You don't like that she's being normal?”
“No, that's not it. She… wasn't exactly normal, either. She sounded…” Jimin gulps the nerves that block his throat as the prospect of losing your friendship swims up in his vision. “She sounded off. Different. Distant.”
“Oh, boy… Are you scared that she hit it off really well with her date and moved away from you?”
Jimin rolls his eyes. “That's impossible.”
Yoongi gives a smirk which unnerves Jimin in all the bad ways. “Is it? Because if it isn't the possibility of her growing distant from you and closer to someone else that's been troubling you, your issues are way deeper and definitely scarier. Good luck, pal.”
Throughout the entire day full of meetings that Jimin goes through, Yoongi's words keep circling in his head. Did it really bother him that you went on a date? He swore up and down that you guys will remain normal and that night will remain just a memory. So obviously it was correct of you to go on that date you’d planned in advance! 
Why the hell is he acting up when you're doing exactly what you both planned you'd do? 
Jimin chooses to have lunch by himself, in one corner of the cafeteria, leaving Yoongi to mingle with the clients, and mulls over his situation and state of mind. 
Maybe he is bothered by your date. And maybe he is so bothered because it was too soon. 
Because he can't get the images of that night out of his head the way he thought he'd easily be able to. 
When he tried to nap on the flight, he saw you riding his dick. When he got into the shower, he saw your teary face after he'd eaten you out good. He had to touch himself to take the edge off, praying that Yoongi wouldn't hear him, and that literally helped with nothing.
Does he actually… want you? 
The last time this happened was around six years ago.
Jimin sips at his almond milk as memories of a time he’d thought was distant and forgotten cascade through his brain.
The two of you were juniors in college. He'd recently gotten out of this toxic relationship that had sucked all the joy out of his life and was spending his days sleeping in and skipping classes, and his nights drinking with friends. It was 2 am when he saw an Instagram post of you posing sweetly for the camera and all he could think of was how badly he missed you. How he hated the fact that you went to different colleges because he wanted to see you so bad. 
He'd left a series of drunk texts in your DMs, of all places, telling you that you were the best girl he'd ever met and that you were perfect in every way and how happy you would make someone by being theirs. You'd replied the next morning, thanking him for being a sweetheart and then told him that you’d found the lucky one – because axolotl had finally asked you out on a date. 
Jimin would never admit it to anyone, but he’d been really upset and extremely jealous of that stupid asshole. It had gotten to the point where he over-inserted himself into your relationship to let fucking axolotl know that he’d come first in your life. That is not to say that the dude wasn’t toxic enough by himself. But when Jimin saw the way his actions were causing you hurt too, he decided to retreat.
That was when he swore he would step back and be the best bff to you at every step in life.
And he’s been on that road pretty religiously!
All the flirting he gets up to with you is totally harmless and only for fun because he enjoys making you blush. Which is probably why he tried to categorize that night under this ‘harmless fun’, too. But it’s clearly not working. 
He’s restless. He needs to return home and see you in person.
He needs to ensure that he can still be your friend despite all these thoughts plaguing his brain.
What the hell is going to do if he doesn’t arrive upon the desired answer, however? He hasn’t the slightest clue.
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Jimin spends the rest of the day waiting for your call – which never comes.
He texts you when he’s done packing his bags after his last meeting, but you don't respond.
The heavy feeling in his stomach grows heavier and heavier – until it becomes so suffocating that he has to come out to the balcony and breathe in some fresh air.
Except – smoke fills his lungs upon the first inhale, and he wrinkles his nose at Yoongi’s cigarette.
“What? Can't a guy enjoy a smoke in peace? We have to be at the airport in an hour.”
“Oh, no, don’t mind me. Please relish every bit of your death stick, by all means.”
Yoongi snorts at his words, and snuffs the remainder of the cigarette out with a roll of his eyes. “Your panties are in a twist again. What's happened now?”
“I'm fine.”
“Sure. And everything's okay between you and she who shall not be named?”
For a moment, Jimin nibbles on his bottom lip, watching the way the remnant smoke swirls away from the balcony and disappears into the late afternoon sky. Then he sighs. “I don’t know. She hasn’t responded to any of my texts and she didn’t call me. She’d said she would. I feel too fucking tense, it’s like my neurons are collapsing in on themselves.”
“Oh, man… If only you were a smoker, I would have procured you some of the best weed in the market. Would have taken the edge off with a handful of puffs.”
Jimin scowls at the guy. “Thank you for your consideration. Think I’ll just hit myself over the head with a saucepan and call it a day.”
“Stop stressing out so much, you moron. We’ll be back there in four hours. Take a cab straight to her place and talk everything out. Distance is a bitch that creates miscommunication. It’s just a matter of hours.”
Jimin nods to himself.
Just a matter of hours.
Just a matter of hours.
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He can’t do it.
Jimin parted ways with Yoongi the moment he grabbed his luggage at the airport, and made a beeline for the cab he booked to take him to your place. He booked the ride in advance, even before he shot you a text informing his arrival back in town.
But just as his butt touches the leather seats – he realises that he can’t ambush you at your place.
So he regretfully gives the driver his own address and agrees to pay the extra amount that this re-routing would cost.
He shuts his eyes and lets out a deep, guttural exhale of frustration. Just a few hours ago, he couldn't wait to get to you fast enough.
And now, when he is at such a short distance away from actually being able to approach you and have a face to face conversation, his nerves have shackled him down and he cannot get himself to do it.
Some part of him believes that he needs to have a proper talk with himself about what the hell has happened with the dynamics the two of you share before he can prepare himself to have one with you. But some part of him believes that to be just a cop out. Which isn’t a complete lie, because at the end of the day, he is deathly afraid of losing you.
He needs to destress his mind.
But you’re the person he turns to when he needs to destress his mind.
Maybe… he can call you? That won’t be as risky and potentially devastating as paying you a visit, right?
Right. It can’t be. And he’s gotta talk to you because he misses you like crazy.
When his cab finally slows down before his apartment, his anxiety has reached a high that is making his forehead sweat despite the car's AC. Hopping out of the vehicle, he pays the driver and quickly gets into his apartment.
“It’s all gonna be fine, Park,” he mumbles to himself in a lame attempt at a pep talk while he changes out of his clothes and hops into the bathroom for a quick but hot shower. “She's your best friend in the world. You won't lose her. To anything.” He thickly swallows. “Or anyone.”
Donning some sweatpants and a t-shirt, he walks into his living room with his hair still wet and opens up a window to let some fresh air in. The sun has just sunk beneath the horizon, leaving behind some remnant daylight and a beautiful orange hue. Inhaling the crisp evening October air, he pulls his phone out of his pocket.
07:42 PM | Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 woohooo! welcome back to the town, dork <3
He smiles at the text and calls your number.
You pick up the call within seconds of its ringing, filling his phone screen with your entire form that is seated in your bedroom’s bay window.
Jimin’s words sort of get stuck in his throat at the sight of your gorgeous self dressed down in grey lounge pants and a pastel yellow hoodie. 
Wait, gorgeous? You look exactly the way you have always looked. 
And… you have always looked gorgeous, haven’t you?
Jimin can feel his palms beginning to sweat. No, Yoongi was wrong. He wasn’t ready to face you. He isn’t ready to confront all that has changed in his perception of you, when you are exactly the same person that you have always been. 
Your hair is wet, as if you just exited the shower too. And the way your hoodie drowns your entire body seems like the most adorable thing in the world to him. Your cheeks have a darker tint to them, too – caused by warm water, excitement about talking to him, or something else entirely? He hasn’t a clue. It just makes you look prettier and his heart beat louder.
Jimin is suddenly overcome with the urge to run all the way to your place and envelop you in a hug.
And you both never hug—both certifiably allergic to physical affection.
Fuck, he wishes he was there so that he could cup your pretty face in his palms and cover your kissable lips with his own. His fingers twitch with the urge. 
Fuck. 
Fuck.
“Welcome back, dork!” you announce, spreading your lips in a joyous grin. “Are you sleeping with your eyes open wide?”
Broken out of his crisis-inducing trance, Jimin forces a chuckle out of his throat, “I—I was gonna sing-song ‘honey, I'm home’ to you, but you picked up the call t—too fast.”
Fuck, did he just fucking stutter? You don’t seem to have noticed, thankfully, because you simply laugh some more. Your eyes are big and bright and brimming with affection, even if you've pursed your lips in a faux display of anger.
He feels like he missed looking into their depths. Has it really been just two days since he last saw you?
Wait, not even fully that – he left your place yesterday morning.
And now he’s on a freaking video call with you, clutching onto his phone like it’s his lifeline, nearly panting for your attention and affection as if he’s been starved for it. 
Shit, shit, shit, he is supremely screwed.
“Honey’s glad you’re home, too, I guess?”
Your response is ten-on-ten on-brand with the sort of banter the two of you engage in. It makes him believe that everything is actually good. That it’s all gonna be alright. 
Jimin smiles and hopes to God he doesn’t look as stupidly lovesick as he feels in the moment. A lost puppy finally returning home to its owner. 
Cursing under his breath at his train of thoughts, he reclines sideways on one of his sofa chairs and fluffs his wet hair away from his forehead. 
“So, how was your trip? How’s Tara?”
“Trip was good. Productive. We sealed the deal – despite the stupid Alfred-ass guy. And Tara’s fine, too.” He tries his best to disguise his wince as a smile. “Rushed home the moment we touched down.”
“Oh, her husband must’ve picked her up, right? Forgot she's married.” You nod to yourself, scratching your head and furrowing your brows in thought. “How was your flight?”
“It was fine. Had to sit next to a guy who fell asleep the moment we took off, and constantly kept leaning his head on my shoulder. It’s just a three hour flight! He couldn’t stay up that long?” he grumbles, rolling his eyes because the guy he’s talking about is actually Min freaking Yoongi. “I think I have a cramp in my right side because of him.”
You chuckle at that, popping some salted almonds into your mouth. “So what’s the plan for the week? You got office tomorrow?”
“Yep! Although we both are allowed to go in a bit late.”
“That’s considerate of your company.”
There’s a dull pause in the conversation which Jimin uses to wordlessly admire your face on his phone screen, again. He remembers the way other guys used to compliment your eyes, or the length of your nose, the plumpness of your lips, and how he used to just roll his eyes at their words because he didn’t see what they saw.
Well, now he does. He sees all of that and so much more. He sees it and he craves it. 
If not kiss you then at least see you. Be in your proximity. Admire your smile without a camera distorting it into pixels.
He wishes to visit you. He feels ready enough. Composed enough. He will keep himself safely off of risky topics. 
Like, come on. He is twenty-seven. Mature enough to handle himself enough to not make a fool of himself or accidentally ruin a friendship that he holds dearer than his life. Of course he is.
“So, what about you? Any plans for the night? Should I come crash?”
It’s out before he can overthink—or even fully think—of a proper, saner, more sophisticated way to pose the question.
And given the way your eyes widen slightly, regret singes his tongue that articulated the words. “Uh…”
Catching himself in time, Jimin sits up and makes a show of narrowing his eyes at the screen. “What? What is it? What are you hiding, little wench?”
A laughter bubbles out of you, but he can sense your awkwardness through the expressions you wear. It guts him. Swallowing thickly, he raises his eyebrows and beckons you to speak.
Finally, you exhale and purse your lips. “Well, um. I, uh, kinda have Seokjin coming over later?”
The way Jimin’s jaw drops to the floor hasn’t a smidgeon of acting to it. “Say what?”
You wince, biting down on your bottom lip. “Yeah…”
“I… Didn’t you say you didn’t wanna talk about the date?” His voice comes out hollow and plain, absolutely unlike what it usually is.
“I did, yeah, but I also said I needed to figure it out. And we’re, um, just figuring things out. I’ll tell you when—”
You cut off with a jump as your doorbell goes off in the background.
Seokjin is there. Seokjin is at your place. To be with you. To hold you, kiss you, touch you — and probably more.
Jimin feels the floor disappear from beneath his feet. His stomach is lurching and he is free falling. 
“I'll, uh, I'll be right there!” you call in the general direction of the door, casting a hesitant glance towards your phone.
Jimin's free-fall increases in velocity.
“Is that… him?” he asks in a scratchy whisper, face nothing short of horror-struck.
And when you give an almost shy nod, Jimin's brain short-circuits and he can't see a thing.
“Well, okay then! Have a great time! See ya later!”
He disconnects the call and allows his phone to drop down into the carpet beneath the chair he’s seated on. 
Despite trying his hardest, Jimin can’t stop his mind from making up images of you and Seokjin entwined in bed, with you making all the sounds that Jimin elicited out of you not forty-eight hours ago.
Fuck.
He feels shaken up. 
Getting up, he walks into his kitchen and grabs a bottle of water.
“It’s fine,” he tells himself. “It’s just weird because it’s too soon. Otherwise it’s good. It’ll be great. She needs this. I told her to go for it.” 
He clears his throat and sips some more water.
“They’re just sleeping together, anyway. She isn’t going to fall in love with him overnight. And if she does, she’ll tell me… And I’ll support her because she’s my be–best friend in the world.”
Even as the words leave him, they scorch his insides on their way out. His brain feels fuzzy with all the misplaced anger, regret and loss he feels. 
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It’s half past two in the morning and Jimin is scrolling brainrot content on social media to put his mind off of the activities you might be getting up to. If you'd be in your bedroom or if you'd be in the living room, in front of the TV. 
If Seokjin would be eating you out in the same spot where Jimin—
Okay, here's a video of fifteen rubber duckies! They're being squashed at the same time! They're making such a horrendous but hilarious sound!
Needless to say – he isn’t doing a great job keeping himself distracted.
Groaning at himself, he refreshes his feed and gets ready to scroll again. And then he comes to a halt.
A post from you has popped up. 
It's a selfie featuring you and Kim Seokjin, seated in your car, heads tipped together in the middle of the seats, grins on your faces and cones of vanilla ice-cream in your hands. A passably normal and arguably cute picture.
Until Jimin’s eyes travel to the content below the picture.
He sits up in his bed upon spying the ‘💝’ emoji you’ve captioned the post with.
A heart emoji? You abhor those! Last time you willingly put one on your social media was way back when you were still with axolotl!
Oh…
Oh no…
Does this mean that you and Seokjin…?
And when the fuck were you planning to tell him?
Jimin needs to talk to you. Soon.
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Foregoing any texts announcing his arrival, Jimin decides to steer his car towards your place, right after work on Monday. He gets off an hour later than you, so there’s no chance he won’t catch you.
But as he locks the vehicle and makes his way up your apartment, it hits him that there is a very real possibility that he might find Seokjin in there with you. And Jimin is completely unprepared to confront the man without having a conversation with you first.
So he presses the bell with his fingers crossed – and gives a sigh of relief when you open the door by yourself.
You’ve changed out of your work clothes and are dressed up in the same set of hoodie and lounge pants he saw you in during the video call, yesterday. And his urge to capture you in a hug and then smother you in kisses is back.
Stifling it all, however, Jimin focuses on the social media post he saw and allows the feeling of irritation and betrayal he felt upon spotting the heart emoji to wash over him, again. 
Then he grins at you. “Surprise?”
Your gaping mouth closes on a chuckle and, rolling your eyes, you let him in. “Unannounced but not unpleasant, hey.”
Jimin resolutely looks away from the couch in your living room, unwilling to let his resolve to confront you weaken by any means, and heads straight to your kitchen table to occupy one of the bar stools.
“So. How’s work?” He asks, leaning over the counter a little, and squints at your form as you busy yourself pouring a glass of orange juice for him.
“Uh, what? Work’s work. Did you come here to ask me that?” Your head tilts to the side in a question and Jimin exhales in defeat.
“No. Obviously. I'm here to ask you about Seokjin.” You tense at that and Jimin gives a scoff. “Okay, don't you dare try to whip up a story! You didn't tell me on Saturday – fine. You barely told me anything yesterday, harsh but acceptable. But now I'm here and now I wanna know what's going on. And if you dare try to look for a way out this time, I will drive a knife through your gut.”
He didn't mean to go that dark, but your behaviour has gotten on his nerves so awfully, that he couldn't help it.
“Wha–Jimin! I told you I'm still figuring it out…” You avoid his eyes as you speak, playing with the drawstrings on your hoodie. “I'll tell you first thing when I have clarity.”
“Well, I think you do have clarity but you’re just refusing to share it with me. And you need to hurry the fuck up with that because I'm losing patience here.”
Your forehead furrows. “Hey… You can't rush me to make up my mind about someone! It's bad enough that you pushed me to go on a date with him.”
“But I'm literally not rushing you? I saw that social media post you made, and you captioned it with a…heart emoji. You never make public gestures of affection with someone so quickly, so I just wondered if you had developed actual feelings for the guy, beyond the admiration you claimed to have for him. I was concerned about you. What choices you'd made.” He looks away from your face and down at his manicured nails. “As your best friend.”
Your sharp inhale draws his attention back to your face, and he is met with a somewhat cautious expression. “Oh? So you're being a concerned friend? That's – that's the only reason why you'd like to know about me and Seokjin?”
Jimin's breath gets caught in his throat. What did you just ask him? What did you imply?
He frantically searches your face to look for cues that would guide him towards the right way to respond to your question, but all he can find is impatience and thinly veiled disappointment.
The amount of confusion he feels makes his head spin.
He can either be honest – or he can play this safe. And given the amount of risks he has taken with you recently, he would very much rather stay in the comfort zone for once, even if it means that he has to lie.
“Sure. I mean…what other reason could there be? Right?”
Your shoulders slump in defeat and your eyes lose a bit of their sparkle. Before Jimin can even begin to analyse what the hell any of it could be about, you're straightening up again with a determined set to your shoulders.
“Yeah. That's right. No other reason. None at all. You're a concerned friend, that's good. That's great.” You lick your lips and then walk around the counter to sit on the other stool, next to him. Your eyes are hesitant when they meet his own. “Because Jimin, I've been wanting to tell you something. I've thought about this throughout the weekend, and… I really, truly regret that night. What we did was stupid, careless and extremely catastrophic. We shouldn't have slept together.”
Jimin feels a part of his soul crumble and wither at those words.
His brain slows down, gaze grows heavy, and his lungs have to put in extra effort to keep his breathing steady. 
Stupid, careless and extremely catastrophic.
His fingers tremble when he tries to reach for the glass of juice, so he pulls them towards his palm and forms a fist to hide them from you.
“You… why?” He hates himself for sounding as small and lost as he does. Clicking his tongue, he runs both his palms down his face and looks up to meet your saddened eyes again. “I mean it's great that you moved on the way we'd planned, but you don't have to regret the night we shared. It's okay. You can have it both ways.”
You shake your head, eyes even more sadder than before. “But I don't want to. We are supposed to be friends forever, Jimin. You and I… We can’t - I… I can’t lose you. To anything. So I can't do what you’re doing. Cherish that night's memory and behave normally. I need to forget and I need you to know that I wish it never happened. And that I'm… I'm sorry that I’m not strong enough.”
Jimin tries to swallow past his dry throat, only to cough when he can't. 
It kinda sounds like you're afraid you might want him still, so you are nipping the possibility in the bud by denying that the two of you ever crossed the line. It kinda sounds like you can’t move ahead because of that night, so you wish to act as if it didn’t happen.
But you are lighter on words and heavier on nibbling your lip, so maybe you've somehow figured out how precious that memory is to Jimin and you’re just trying to spare his feelings, which – ouch. 
He knew he was becoming pathetic but he didn't realise it was this pathetic.
Scoffing, Jimin gets up and shakes his head. “Don't worry, I wasn't getting any ideas about us doing a repeat of what happened, if that's what you were concerned about. I only want the two of us to resume being the best of buds and share everything the way we used to.”
“No, Jimin, that's not—I mean, you wanted me to give Seokjin a real shot and I did. And so I don’t want there to be anything that holds me back from being honest about it.”
The set of words hurt him more than they should, but he moves past them to address his main concern that you still seem to have missed. “Hey, listen to me. I didn't come here to hound you about Seokjin because I have a problem with what's going on. I came here because I have a problem with you not telling me what's going on. I have a problem with you believing you need to keep it from me for some stupid, untrue reason that you might’ve made up in your head.”
You don't say anything for a while, don't even look up to meet his gaze. Your lower lip stays between your teeth and your eyes don't look away from the kitchen counter where both your hands rest next to the untouched glass of orange juice.
And then you suddenly look up and into his eyes, determination all over your face. “You need to get a girlfriend.”
Uh.
What?
Gaping at the offputting, crooked smile that overtakes your face, Jimin slowly shakes his head as he wonders if he might've heard you wrong.
“Yeah,” you continue, nodding to yourself, “I feel guilty, Min. I’ve broken our no-dating pact, so it's only fair if you get to leave, too.”
Woah. Two dates with a guy and you've already declared your pact broken? And yet you wouldn't say a word about Seokjin beyond the fact that you’re pursuing it because Jimin asked you to.
He is quite literally too stunned to speak.
You laugh a little, looking almost nervous. “What? Don't tell me you fell in love with me or something, Min. That night was purely physical, right? We're mature enough to remember that.” 
The words hit him in a bad way, because you very clearly said them in a way that was meant to hurt him. Of course it was purely physical! But nothing between the two of you can ever be without at least some semblance of emotion because you both go way back! Even the playful insults you toss at each other and the jokes you share carry affection, intimacy and meaning. 
He doesn't have the slightest clue what you've been trying to do all this time, but if you truly want to rile him up and upset him tonight, he's going to forfeit and give you the satisfaction of having succeeded. He hasn't got enough mental strength to decipher the meaning of everything you're doing and then try to diffuse the grenade you've built.
So Jimin steps away from the counter and gives a loud scoff. “Don't be ridiculous. Of course not, there's no way in hell. How could I ever be in love with someone like you? Look at your emotional range and look at mine. I know, better than anyone else in the world, that you’re incapable of love. I know not to love a rock. I'm not stupid.”
Your face falls and eyes turn glossy, but Jimin can bet you aren't hurting like he is. You can't. That's one of your superpowers – compartmentalising so well, you sometimes don't even see the hurt that devastates others. 
“R–right. Didn't have to insult me, but you're right.”
“Why?” Jimin scoffs. “Isn't that what our relationship is about? Being friends? Laughing together? Insulting each other?”
You frown at him. “Why're you talking like that? Why are you getting angry at me?”
Jimin blinks at your words, watching the way your eyes look truly clueless, and sheer sadness envelopes him. 
Because it hits him now. Maybe you didn’t say those words to hurt him. Maybe he underestimated your inability to feel. Maybe you really don't get why it was special. Because you really didn't feel why it could be special.
Maybe nothing between the two of you has ever carried any emotion to it, for you.
You have no idea about the emotional turmoil he's been in the past two days when he couldn't get you out of your mind, because you were on a completely different page. This is why it was easy for you to go on that date and then call that guy home the next day.
The night you shared with Jimin doesn't matter to you. Jimin doesn't matter to you.
Not the way he thought. Not the way you do to him.
And his evolving feelings for you, whatever they end up becoming, would only serve to be an inconvenience in your life that you would just ask him to sort out instead of helping him wade through them because… 
This is who you are. 
This is who you've always been.
This is the girl he met in eighth standard, had a crush on, became lifelong friends with, had sex with, and developed more than platonic feelings for.
This is you.
He doesn’t know how to deal with this realization. He can’t deal with this sitting in your kitchen. And he can’t deal with this without a drink.
So he collects his coat and walks out of your house, ignoring your calls of his name and choosing his own sanity over you for once
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lynzishell · 5 months ago
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Prev // Next
Transcript and more puppy pics below the cut:
Megan: I thought you weren’t getting a dog. Asher: I mean, did anyone really believe that? Megan: [laughs] No, but I didn’t expect you’d come home with three. Asher: Well, the black one is Phoenix’s. Phoenix: Is it okay if he stays here, just for tonight? I want to surprise Aspen at her party tomorrow. Megan: Sure. It’s a good thing we have a quiet house tonight.
Asher: What do you mean? Megan: Dad’s working late and Spencer is sleeping over at a friend’s house. And I assume Iris is taking the opportunity to stay with her boyfriend.   Asher: Did she finally tell you about him? Megan: No, but you just did.
Asher: Rude. You cannot tell her I said anything. Megan: Don’t worry. It’s not like she’s been subtle. Asher: I guess. I just wish she’d bring him around, so I know whether to be worried or happy for her. Megan: You two… always so protective of each other. It’s sweet. Asher: Yeah, well, I have reason to be. Megan: Maybe, but she’s been quite happy lately, so let’s assume the best for now. And introduce me to these babies.
Asher: Okay, so these two are ours. The little singer over there is called Pluto.    
Asher: And this happy girl is called Pixel.   
Asher: Phoenix’ doesn’t have a name yet. He wants Aspen to help name him, so we’ve just been calling him Pup in the meantime.
Megan: You’re certainly going to have your hands full tonight. I’ll put out some food; I assume you brought some home with you. Asher: It’s up on the porch. Atlas: I’ll get it.
Phoenix: Maybe I should’ve asked this before getting the dog, but is there any chance I can talk you into dog sitting for a week this fall? Asher: Yeah, of course. You guys taking a trip or something? Phoenix: I’m taking Dawn and Aspen to Chestnut Ridge.
Asher: [gasping dramatically] Really? What changed your mind? Phoenix: Some asshole called me out for being stubborn, and I decided he wasn’t completely wrong. Asher: This asshole sounds very wise… AND good looking. Phoenix: Don’t push it.
Phoenix: But I realized that I need to decide if I’m going to give him a real chance or not, and if I am, then I need to give him the opportunity to show me he’s really changed, that I can trust him. Asher: I think this will be really good. And I know it isn’t easy…
Asher: I’m proud of you. Phoenix: Please don’t make this weird. Asher: So, no hug then?
Phoenix: Thank you. But also, if he fucks up and hurts my family, I’m holding you personally responsible. Asher: Well, that’s not fair, I don’t even know the guy. I’m not vouching for him. Phoenix: Too late. Asher: [laughs] Whatever. Get home safe and I’ll see you tomorrow.
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