#Psychological bonds

[livingfictionsystem]

A lot of pop psychology gets thrown around and since I already have a headache, here's preventing you lot from making it worse.

Love-bombing: A manipulation tactic of increasing affection and grand gestures before or after doing something abusive, specifically to weasel one's way out of consequences.

What it is not: A streak of affection and generosity towards friends/loved ones.

Trauma-bonding: Knowingly traumatizing someone to take advantage of their vulnerable state, to then act like the "hero" or the one who cheers them up.

What it is not: Bonding over similar traumas.

Gaslighting: *Knowingly* convincing someone they cannot trust their own perception of a situation in pursuit of one's own narrative.

What it is not: Misaligned perception of events.

Narcissist: Someone afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a traumagenic cluster B disorder, that struggles with self-obsession, paranoia, craving validity from the public, delusions of grandeur, and social disconnection.

It is not: Your rubbish ex that cheated on you.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

-Xanthe

[erinwantstowrite]

the most realistic part of gravity falls was how dipper and mabel fight but specifically the "meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!!!" mabel shouts at dipper. i know this because i'm an older sister and we have gotten into so many fights where i just said complete nonsense at my baby brother and he loses his absolute shit. one time we were at a chili's and fighting about who knows what and i just glared at him and said "HOT. SAUCE." and he leapt over the table to try and kill me

[dukeofthomas]

"Are the Robins child soldiers" It depends. If the story is super serious and into exploring complex morality and grounded from reality's standards, then yes. If the story is lighthearted, made for children, fluff, etc., then no. If it's somewhere in the middle, it might depend.

If an author wants to write a story seriously delving into the fucked up-ness of children fighting criminals, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.

If an author wants to write a fun story about villains and heroes featuring Robin in a world where that's not an issue, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.

If an author wants to write a serious story but not apply IRL-logic to Robin, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.

[mindblowingscience]

Empathy is the sensing of another's emotions and ability to imagine how they are feeling, a quality that seems in pretty short supply in large parts of today's world. The good news is, we might be able to spread empathy and compassion through social interaction. That's the conclusion of a new study from an international team of researchers which conducted four separate experiments designed to measure shifts in empathy based on the actions of more than 50 volunteers.

Continue Reading.

[tornado1992]

Tails getting separation anxiety after Sonic Forces (beacuse what the hell do you mean his big brother that he thought DIED because of him was actually being held prisoner and tortured for six months in which he couldn’t do anything to help him because he didn’t know) but won’t ever tell Sonic beacuse he knows his brother doesn’t want to be stated in one place now more than ever, he wants to go around, see the world he missed for six months, he needs to run, and even though he offered him to come along he “doesn’t want to be clingy”.

Tails won’t ever hold him back or slow him down, he never has. even if it’s killing him inside.

[kinardsevan]

I think one of the fascinating discussions around Tommy’s past is the issues related to how he attached himself to Gerrard, without any attempt to understand the trauma bond. We have him stating that working under Gerrard was like the father he already had. And we’ve seen the blatant disregard, lack of care, manipulation, that Gerrard brings to the table.

At which point, I can’t help but reflect on from a psychology standpoint. We fanon that Tommy likely joined the army as a way to get out of his house and/or try and please his father. Which directly correlates to his behavior under Gerrard. He had (has?) a need to fall in line with the person in charge likely because he knows that if he doesn’t, it’s going to backfire on him. Whether that came in the form of neglect/withholding care, or actual abuse, we’ll have to wait and see. But I wouldn’t put it past his backstory to have some level of that same manipulation we saw in Hen Begins (referring specifically to the scene where she’s cleaning the truck and Gerrard presents himself as initially caring and then twists the knife.) Let’s also be clear that Gerrard fits most of the requirements for trauma bonding. Love bombing in a corporate setting (be who I expect you to be and you’ll be fine), loss of self (Tommy shutting down to be who he needed to survive), gaslighting (we saw this in Hen Begins, and you can’t tell me that Hen and Chimney were the only ones gaslit by this man), and blaming yourself (we know Tommy holds space for his place in how Hen and Chimney were affected by his lack of saying anything. We need more on his back story with his sexuality and working under Gerrard, but I have zero issue believing he went through a stage of self-hatred at the 118 with Gerrard).

My point being, Tommy probably thought he was out from that kind of treatment when he left home. Except then he joined the military, which comes with its own tactics and behaviors for getting soldiers to stay in line. Upon return to civilian life, he becomes a firefighter and is placed under Gerrard. He’s come up under a time where DADT was the rule. He knew well enough by then that he was not the exception. And I imagine at every turn, he thought “okay, now it changes”. Except that never actually happens, until Bobby shows up.

So instead, you have this character with an understanding that the easiest way to go along to get along is to stay quiet and keep his head down, even in the face outward abuse (this would also correlate to witnessing his parents abuse each other). Trauma bonds will drive you to make choices that categorically make no sense in a normal setting. But this setting isn’t normal. That’s kind-of the entire point.

Does it justify his behavior? Absolutely not. But does it mean he actively sought to hurt others while he kept his mouth shut and retreated inwardly, the one place he knows is at least somewhat safe? I’m going to argue not.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[lullabyes22-blog]

I think the term 'trauma bond' needs to be taken away from fandom for the foreseeable future, until some of y'all realize it's not a cutesy way of saying 'we had a traumatic experience and it bonded us together teehee' but in fact refers to a deeply unhealthy emotional attachment to the person who is causing said trauma in a cyclical pattern of abuse + affection...

[000marie198]

Party games when all the friends hang out together are a norm in sth, and a blast too. Charades is one of the games they all enjoy. Though, after quite hefty losses, everyone wholeheartedly agrees that playing against Sonic & Tails when they've teamed up is a nightmare.

You can never beat those two at charades, one would know the answer before the other even completes the gestures

While the effort of the group is to somehow keep one of the Dynamic Duo busy or separate them so they're not in the same team, it never really works. Sonic always manages to use the challenging ego card and Tails always manages to manipulate and they end up teamed up again.

Sonic & Tails are the undefeated kings of this game.

[furiousgoldfish]

I distinctly remember the times in my young childhood, when I would be somewhere out with my parents in public, and I understood that I was about to have a 'normal' experience. I knew they were unlikely to snap or injure me in a public space, so I'd be allowed to act curious, to walk around, not annoy them with questions, but I could smile and interact with strangers, and they wouldn't get mad. I would liven up and get really happy and try to get the most out of it, one time I even tried to hold my parents hands (I was very small) and they pulled their hands away (I took it too far apparently). I had a great time having those 'normal' experiences, for me they were the only normal I got, and I would hold onto those memories and believe that surely, we were a normal family, I was a child, I had two parents, they were surely taking care of me.

Going home, however, would open up deep dread and sadness inside of me, because I knew things would change as soon as we were inside those 4 walls. They would get mad at me, yell and criticize me, berate me for anything they found annoying earlier, and shout at me until I would be too scared to leave my room. Going home eventually became associated with having a nervous breakdown in the car (silently, of course) and I would be swallowing tears until we reached the house.

I understand now, that the 'normal' times I would get, were the times where they needed to present in public as a normal family, so I was supposed to act like a normal child. I was required to act normal. I understood there was to be zero symptoms of abuse shown in public, and I could not act weird or avoidant, I had to showcase that I was energetic, curious, and happy child.

Since normal and non-hostile family relationship was all I needed, those pretend times seemed real to me, they were essential for me to have a 'normal' experience, to believe that my family is real, that we're okay, that I have parents who to some degree, care about me. Those experiences helped me to believe that. But the spell would be broken as soon as we got home because - my family was abusive. And they felt very free and comfortable to turn back to abuse as soon as we were inside of their house, where they didn't have to pretend they didn't hate me.

If you have experiences with your family that felt good, normal, and like you were getting what you needed for a while - but this spell got broken as soon as you were alone with them, or as soon as they had a bad day, or were frustrated, or angry about something, or as soon as you made a tiny mistake, or annoyed them, there's a chance the normal part was an act to protect their reputation. Good times are not the proof of 'not abusive', they're always there, even the most abusive situation has good times, otherwise nobody would have reason enough to stay.

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

[cringefailvox]

How do you think Vox and Val would react to someone flirting with Vel?

they're whipping out buckets of popcorn to gleefully watch the ensuing evisceration when she inevitably gets annoyed enough to finally look up from her phone

[nordic-noire]

'You need to be cold to be a queen.'

[galactictwilight]

Leftover Dough AU

The premise is that when the Witch of Light and her coven made the Beast Cookies, there was leftover dough from each Beast that was stored and labeled in the castle under a preservation spell. So, long after the Shadow Witch began her experiments within the castle, she found the Beast Cookie's dough. Now, this is were the AU gets a bit convoluted to make it work. Instead of seeing the doughs as the finished products that they were, the Shadow Witch thought they were ingredients for the old covens ultimate dough. This is due to the fact that the Beast Cookies have cookie ingredients as a part of their names.(Or, you know, there was just so little dough she just decided to merge them all and see what happens) This is how Gingerbrave was born in this AU! His dough was made from mixing all the Beast Cookie's leftover dough together.

I also can't help but imagine that the Beast Cookies were made to be giants when compared to other cookies, but they all have an innate ability to change their size. So, Gingerbrave in this Au is actual just a child and will grow to be just as large as the Beast Cookies. There is also the possibility that Gingerbrave might gain abilities unique to himself in this AU. Another thing I am pondering is that since the Beast Cookies were made for their Soul Jams. Would my AU Gingerbrave cause some kind of reaction from the Soul Jams, like causing them to glow if he was near or touched them? Could he use them or give them a boost by acting as a substitute to their missing half(or enhance them when their whole)? Can he sense Soul Jams when they are near him or maybe he could have always felt them like a presence within his mind? Would the Ancient Cookies also have some kind of reaction to his presence?

Another quandary is how will the Beast Cookies be affected by his presence? Since this Gingerbrave is made from their leftover dough, that would make him the little brother to all the Beast Cookies in this AU. On one hand, I could go with them seeing him as a way to bypass needing their Ancient counterpart's Soul Jam to accomplish their goals, but on the other hand, what if his presence is also addictively soothing to them. What if cookies made from the same dough and baked by Witches have a pacifying effect on each other that makes them not want to harm or part from their sibling (batch-mate?). This would also have to be a phenomenon that only occurs with Witch made cookies, while cookies like Custard Cookie The III have a more human relationship with their siblings.

I also have to acknowledge how the sealing may have affected the Beast Cookies. Since three of the Beast Cookies have yet be be released, I can really only ponder on Shadow Milk and Mystic Flour. Shadow Milk is for sure a little crazy and I think all the Beast's were conscious throughout the entire time they were sealed. Shadow Milk also probably really hates when it is quiet and dark since it would remind him of the seal (this would probably make him use the calming effect of batch-mates to chase away his discomfort while also trying to cover up his true intentions with some other reason for his actions). Mystic Flour probably won't really change personality wise that much, however, she will be the stone faced character that is cuddling their baby sibling in private with no facial change (a kuudere, maybe?).

This is all that I could come up this for this AU. There are probably a lot of way this could be made into a story and I will probably put a list at the end of this. I hope my AU rambling was entertaining and interesting. Also, if anyone wants to use this for a story or sees a story with a similar premise to this, please let me know. I would love to read it.

Now, unrelated to this story Idea, I wonder how it would effect the characters of cookie run kingdom when it is revealed that the witches they worship/feared are dead and the ones around now were not the ones that loved and cared for cookie kind. I don't think I have really seen anyone go into depth about the connection between witch's castle and kingdom. I mean how tragic would it be to learn that the good witches perished while trying to bring prosperity to the world because one of them tainted the spell they were casting. How shaken would they be to find out that those witches became cookies as well? Heck, how would the Beast Cookies feel knowing the fate of the witches that sealed them. I truly wonder the reactions from those not in the know to such news.

Story Direction list:

Angst/maybe Hurt/comfort- Shadow Milk uses Gingerbrave as a substitute for his Soul Jam and succeeds in his plan. In this, Shadow Milk uses the bond only to keep Gingerbrave helpless and obedient (as well as a comfort to himself when he needs it). Will the Ancients be able to defeat the beast cookies before its to late? Will Gingerbrave's friends be able to rescue him? (Can Gingerbrave somehow redeem the Beast Cookies?)

Horror/Platonic Yandere- This would start like the angst story but proceed into a psychological horror as Gingerbrave is pulled into a forced family with the Beast Cookies. There will be a mounting horror as he sees glimpses of what his 'family' is doing to other cookies all while they treat him like a beloved toddler and no matter how hard he tries to be angry and hate them, he can't. Gingerbrave is slowly but surly succumbing to the bonds of Witch baked cookies born of the same dough.

Action/mystery- Throughout the campaign to free the Vanilla Kingdom from Dark Enchantress Cookie's forces. Pure Vanilla Cookie notices a peculiar reaction from his Soul Jam when he is near Gingerbrave. He is not the only one...

Mystery/?- Strawberry Crepe Cookie just can't understand how that group of crumbs for brains beat her! She's poured over the data and looked at their compositions and still can't find out what. WENT. WRONG?!?! Especially with that candy cane welding idiot, Gingerbrave!

Part 2

[utilitycaster]

Sort of a distant tangent off my post about Ashton, but I'm growing more and more suspicious of the fandom claim that there's no time for small RP moments in Campaign 3. I do think that it's been challenging to get deeper party bonding or serious conversations that aren't about the big philosophical questions they're facing, since those do take much more time; but then I think about Calamity, or Candela Obscura. I can genuinely give you at least a couple paragraphs about pretty much every relationship in the two Circles, or in the Ring of Brass. I can also point to no shortage of small moments between characters in the Mighty Nein Aeor or Vox Machina Vecna endgame episodes, which were all extremely plot-heavy and fast-paced, and D20 consistently nails character relationships in a fraction of the time.

I think it really does come down to, as Brennan Lee Mulligan always says, the character creation phase. Laying down a solid groundwork in which everyone has a detailed, rich backstory and sense of personality and relationship history (in the case of characters who knew each other prior to the start of the series) is absolutely crucial, and even in the case of characters who don't know each other before going in, a good amount of time spent in character creation ensures that it's easier for them to develop those interpersonal relationships on the fly. I know in actual play there's some degree of finding the character as you play, but there are games for which there is a very short runway, and I don't think it ever hurts to do more extensive character prep than the bare minimum. And if there are gaps, I think it also helps to go back and fill those in mid-way, away from the table - Travis clarifying Chetney's backstory being a great example that allowed the history of Chetney and Deanna to feel realized and full, despite only a few episodes.

I'll also be blunt: most of the time when people complain that there aren't moments because the plot keeps moving...they're mad about shipping. Which has always rung hollow to me. It was a common complaint in C2, that no time was taken for character relationships, despite them taking an entire half of an episode for the Beauyasha date and despite no shortage of moments for all three of the other couples (and plenty of platonic moments between friends). The issue was never a lack of time; it was that the characters they wanted to talk to each other didn't actually have the relationship in canon that the fans had dreamed up, and so, when the chips were down, they went to other people.

It takes two seconds to say something like "I hold their hand", even in the middle of plot-heavy adventuring. If someone doesn't say it, it's rarely the GM rushing them; it's the player either choosing not to do so, or not remembering to do so, and either of those is quite revealing regarding how the player feels about that relationship and where it stands in their priorities.

[katimorton]

Limerence. It's a word most have not heard of. But it is a word that many may relate to. We may go through the motions of obsessing over someone (whether it be an ex lover or someone we barely know) and unsure what this feeling is or why it's so intense. We honestly may not even know why the obsession with this person or ex or friend is so strong and question is something wrong with us, was this the love of our life and this is what it feels like or do I have love addiction? Or maybe we're like do I need to get help or attend SLAA meetings? The reality is much of this all may be true and you may be struggling with obsession, love addiction and could utilize a 12-step program. But we should also explore what limerence is, what the signs of limerence are, what causes limerence, and how limerence is related to attachment styles, childhood neglect and obsession. Have you heard of limerence before? Or is this your first time hearing of it? If you're struggling with being obsessed with your ex or find yourself stalking your ex on social media or wherever or spending time on social media constantly posting for them etc. then you may be struggling with limerence. Thankfully this video will help you understand the root causes and how to work through these obsessive feelings and behaviors.

More videos you may find helpful: Heal romantic obsession and neglect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga4VHjKkv70&t=4s Limerence, attachment & childhood trauma: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fvi9pDnIxb4&t=12s 5 signs you're self regulating through romantic obsession: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_jzKWiLdE0&t=1s Limerence & narcissistic relationships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVKh0JnW5K8&t=4s

Breaking unhealthy patterns workshop: https://katimorton.com/the-shop/p/yki5katkwtnir1oqcc82zzuhez4k47

[loverslakes]

idk why i never shared this here, but! i made this for a beloved mutual for christmas last year and now it’s all canon (i think.) in the “tried and true blue”verse. i’m finishing up my byler lumax road trip ficlet so they were on my mind. ✨🩷 including the OG sticky notes discussion board featured in t&tb (and more, under the cut!!)

(pls bare with the style i tried to make it 9th grader vibes idk)