#STUDENT PROBLEMS

[mycatsaidwhat]

things i’ve heard college students say pt. 29

-you may be into Sucky mpreg but some people believe the holocaust didn’t happen

-humans should have a mating season where we all congregate in a river once a year to find love like salmon 

-granted, there is a difference between being a momma’s boy and being Normon Bates 

-Only in a poli sci class would you get a picture of the live action winne the poo and Kim Jon un next to one another 

-“get ready for the met gala with me!!” influencer vlogs showing up on my suggested as if I don’t make $10.73 an hour 

-no way that dog had a blog, dogs can’t read 

-in god we bust

-every guys wants to be a golden retriever boyfriend until they wake up with no balls 

-graphic design majors are like the diet soda of the art world 

-if i could choose between having a successful career and lying down i would choose lying down 

-today’s graduation is sponsored by plan b

-going down on a woman and tying her fallopian tubes with my tongue like a cherry stem 

-most of the world’s problems would be solved if more billionaires disappeared in submarines 

-you come face to face with god at a 24 hour ihop

-she lemony on my snicket until there’s an unfortunate event

-took a shit in the gender neutral bathroom, call that a she/it

-the tornado dodged us cause someone told it that it had to pay a cover for every bar it destroyed

-can I have a cars 2-themed blowjob, please

-the best thing Taylor Swift has done recently is get some girls to consider that they may be the problem

-“I’M LITERALLY SO FERAL” no Ava you’re just drunk and white

[benoits-neckerchieves]

Me and my uni assignments

[sylestine-redacted]

me: i should really focus on studying for boards

also me: writes 4k of smut, outlines a plot arc, and accidentally worldbuilds a fake religion

[goldencherriess]

At this point, it's just me vs uni

[studyinmoon]

Hello friends,

I almost forgot I had started this blog and have been in sort of a static mode for the past 2 days. I've not been able to be productive and it's frankly eating me alive. I didn't think it would be this bad and almost regret starting this journey on such an unpleasant note.

I came across a YouTube video that was based on a self diagnosis test for adult ADHD but it was very crude and only had five questions. Still I did "pass" and according to that I do possess ADHD characteristics. I don't like that test as a cellular neuroscience student but I do think it's important for people who are still in denial about their ADHD (something I was guilty of for way too many years) and acts like a stepping stone for professional diagnosis.

I also saw a video about someone talking about taking medication for ADHD for the first time and how it affected them in the long and short term and it finally gave me the courage to approach my father and talk to him about my condition and the good news is that I'm finally going to go to a certified psychologist in my area and get some tests done to see what the problem is.

I want to get medication not just because I want to be normal and have an academic comeback (though that is the main motivation) but I just want to stop my thoughts to stop racing through my mind 100km/hr for 25/8. I would like to stop feeling anxious for one moment of my life and not feel the need constantly feed my dopamine starvation with screen time (I'm pretty sure it's rotting my brain lol)

Thank you for reading. Kindly follow if you would like to keep up with my ramblings and progress.

[iglareatu]

L I F E

The problems in my life are too repetitive like wdym I have to be worrying about finishing my syllabus every other day. I need creative problems like which dress to buy, what to wear for x party, which car to buy for y event and all that.

Like, anything but same problems. Please!

[tinkerbitch69]

I didn’t exactly have much faith in academia before but my literature class on hound of the Baskervilles showed us the Sherlock episode and asked us to analyse that

Whyyyyyyyy???

It’s not even one of the like handful of ok episodes from that show??? It’s nothing like the book??? Seriously lost a lot of faith and respect in my tutors today :’(

[study-core-101]

when the to-do list is long enough to be overwhelming but short enough to be suspicius of forgetting something

[wannabe-valkyrie]

When it’s exam season so I have to restrain myself from watching the httyd trilogy but I can still listen to the soundtrack😏

[sirrobertpeelofficial]

I have learned that most of university is about trying to fit an infinite number of papers into a finite amount of bag.

[mycatsaidwhat]

things i've heard college professors say pt. 15

-type “humpty dumpty sat on a wall humpty dumpty had a great fall” with no spaces and no regrets 

-I sincerely don’t sit around reading the wills of people from 16th century Stratford-upon-Avon

-do we have a federal department of education? *reluctantly* yes we do 

-okay. It’s 10:30 and I’m cold and mad. 

-I was assigned to read Macbeth and was like what the fuck, I want to play Nintendo 

-That sounds like something said by someone who wrote 12 historyplays 

-I googled today, which I really suggest you guys do 

-not to bring up florida,

-current event: balloons!

-(cytogeneticist) I make a lot of money saying I don’t know. It’s a pretty sweet gig.  

-*someone comes into the classroom looking lost* is there a meeting in here at 11?

(professor) no i don’t think so, this class goes until 11:30

*person leaves* 

(professor, turning back to the class) probably a serial killer 

-Yeah, and then Shakespeare was like I never fucking loved you– 

-The three typical sources of creative nonfiction essays are the unconscious mind, literature, or the trauma of our lives. Now none of these are technically untrue–

-you don’t have to be smart to understand Shakespeare

*alarm starts going off on student’s phone* 

OH GOD I’M SORRY IM BEING SMITED 

-“In which the men spend several hours taunting each other with speeches and thwacking each other with sticks.” Yes. That sounds perfect. 

-This is, like, nerdy shit I’ve learned over the years 

[that-aspiring-academic]

Education Update; How do I recover from this?

So, it finally happened. I had to quit.

I had my math test today, and beforehand my teacher asks to talk to me in the hallway. She says she sent me an email (which I hadn’t checked) and that because of my grades I could have an extra week to study and take the test.

My grades are shit, ik, but I thought I could get maybe half the questions on this test right, ya know? So I said I didn’t need it, ‘I think I could maybe get 50% right, a pass’ so I go in and I start the test.

Turns out I do need it, because I blank. That’s the worst feeling in the world, just blanking on a test. I’ve never had that happen before either, I’m used to being able to just figure stuff out. I get like halfway through the test, it’s only two pages, and I want to cry. So I ask if I can take the extra week, and my teacher, I don’t understand how she teaches but she is really so nice, says yes. I can do the test in a week instead.

And I should be happy I got that extension and all, but I’m just so tired of feeling like an idiot all the time. I’m in the actual gifted program, I used to get straight A’s/X’s, I just wish I knew what went wrong.

So, yeah, any advice on how to deal with this would be great. I’ll try to come up with a plan tonight.

[lanfykins]

I am still proud of this paragraph that I wrote for a final-year history essay about who benefited from empires:

"However, the existence of alternative empires has repeatedly proven beneficial to those in colonies or other outlying regions who are unhappy with their own. In North America, for example, by the late eighteenth century the descendants of the original settlers were growing increasingly unhappy with a system that arrogated settlement policy and a significant proportion of the colonies' wealth to the metropole (Allison, 2015, p.7). But how was what has famously been characterised as a "ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower" to defeat the "global superpower" of Britain? (Miranda and Blankenbuehler, 2024). In fact, the colonists' victory over the metropole was signally assisted by French supplies and weapons (Allison, 2015, p.56). Perhaps even more importantly than the funding and supplies, the involvement of another imperial power also threatened British interests elsewhere, in a way a mere colonial revolt could not (p.62). That French assistance was sufficiently significant that it remains an integral part of the American origin story; the modern musical Hamilton pays tribute to it with “America's favorite fighting Frenchman” Lafayette, who “[comes] back with more guns, and ships, and so the balance shifts” (Miranda and Blankenbuehler, 2024). Similarly, the first cultural grouping to seek independence from the Ottoman empire - the Greeks - succeeded only due to the military support of the Great Powers - empires by any other name - of Britain, France and Russia (Mombauer, 2023b)."

(My referencing is for the live performance I saw)

I mean, sure, I had to plan 3,000 words of argument around it and read an extra book* to make it work, but what is academic life if not for these moments? 😅

* OK, so the book was ‘A Very Short Introduction to the American Revolution’, but it still counts dammit

[goldencherriess]

Current mood because I want to write and to finish the next chapter of Storms and I can't cause I'm too busy getting a degree (exam season is killing me, please send help)

[sunscreenstudies]

reading an email and saying "i'll deal with that tomorrow" and marking it as unread again only to go back to that same email a few minutes later and snoozing it until tomorrow instead because the thought of seeing that unread email every time you check your inbox for the rest of the day is horrifying

[astraeajackson]

WHY DOES SCHOOL HAVE TO START IN TWO DAYS LIKE I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO WAKE UP AT SIX THIRTY IN THE MORNING EVERY SINGLE DAY AGAIN AND DO HOMEWORK AND THE WORSE PART IS MY WHOLE FUCKING FRIEND GROUP LEFT SCHOOL THIS FUCKING SUCKS AND I'M GONNA BE ALL ALONE

😭

anyways thank you this concludes my tedtalk on why going back to school sucks😔

I'm gonna go cry in the corner now with my various comfort books, tv shows and assorted paraphernalia 😓