#Self Care Massage Tool

[thedisablednaturalist]

Literally all the shit rich people have turned into luxuries are stuff many disabled people need (or would need to manage their pain but can't afford it)

Comfy ergonomic chairs

Indoor pool/hot tub (therapy bath)

Massages on the regular

Aides (rich people call them servants)

Yea even a cook who makes you special meals (perfect for people with special dietary needs and for those with severe allergies, as well as people who are in too much pain or are otherwise unable to cook)

Elevators in your house (even small ones just for groceries, my rich aunt has one in her beach house!)

Rich people don't buy these for fun I hope but custom powerchairs are obscenely expensive. It pisses me off when I see another person invent "the wheelchair of the future!" Which then is literally never fucking used because none of us can afford it (and insurance definitely won't pay)

Indoor gyms or even personal exercise equipment. Hard to go out to a gym somewhere else when you're disabled, especially if you are immunocompromised

Outdoor spaces to relax in. It's literally vital for your mental health to at least see the outdoors. I'd rather be bedridden in a sunroom (with retractable blinds) than a shitty apartment with one tiny window.

There's even freaking health retreats these people go to regularly. There's a fibromyalgia retreat in new york where they basically take care of all your needs while trying different treatments and seeing which ones help. Either it's heaven or making money off of scamming desperate people who are able to scrape the money together to go.

Private planes, which I honestly think shouldn't exist, but one that specifically catered to people with disabilities (spaces for wheelchairs/other mobility devices, accessible handicapped airplane bathroom, anxiety reducing tools, trained medical personnel and care team)

Also customized cars, except instead of making gas guzzling racecars to joyride in while everyone else is trying to get to work, cars with electric ramps, lifts, doors, cars customized for someone with limb differences. Those cars where you can roll your wheelchair right up to the wheel. Fuck even self driving cars once they are no longer deathtraps.

Skincare products that are safe for sensitive skin like eczema but also actually work

Nice-looking clothes customized to fit limb differences, access points, look good in wheelchairs, colostomy bags, etc. while also being comfortable and not fast fashion.

Dental care!!! What the fuck why is this shit so expensive!! I don't want my teeth to fall out!! (Disabled people usually need more dental care bc we have a harder time keeping up maintenance)

Rich people go and splurge on all of these even though they don't need them while calling disabled people selfish for begging their insurance for even one of these.

[thatsexcpisces]

Gifts to get the moon signs for Christmas 🎄🤍

°❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌*:･❄️ °❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌*:･❄️ °❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌*:･❄️

Aries moon: clothing and items for the gym and working out, bold accessories that make them stand out, hats, earrings, tickets or a class for their favorite activity or take them on any fun adventure, new car (if you wanna go big), fancy mirrors, watch, strong fragrance, trendy gadgets

Taurus moon: jewelry, luxuriously-presented items, something cozy and for the home, a spa day voucher, soft blanket, cute slippers, beauty products, skin and self care items

Gemini moon: cute journals to write down their thoughts, entertaining card/games (ex. cards against humanity), stationary, technology, thought-provoking gifts, their favorite book collections.

Cancer moon: cooking set, something sentimental and hand-made (ex. a scrapbook of all your memories together), a comfy robe to lounge in, recipe book, candles and stuff for the home

Leo moon: gifts related to their interests whether musical or hobbies in general. ex., if they love lana del rey get them a vinyl collection of her music or a poster of her. designer clothing, something extravagant and unique, tickets to their favorite musical or show.

Virgo moon: organized home planners, plants, cookbook, antiques, cleaning gadgets, home fragrances, books on getting organized and lifestyle advice, gift cards for home goods stores or their fav stores in general, maybe even get them a small pet to keep company!

Libra moon: designer handbags, books on fashion, good-quality perfumes, beauty items, fancy soaps, silk scarves or pajama sets, luxury brand shoes, fancy decorations for their living space

Scorpio moons: spiritual gifts, something personal from you, leather/ dark colored clothing, pampering gifts, marble items, brand sunglasses, ruled by Pluto; get them an elegant version of whatever they generally like; if they like gold jewelry, get them a carefully-selected box of fancy gold rings or something like that.

Sagittarius moons: gifts brought from a foreign country, something unique, plane tickets to a country they’ve always wanted to go to, travel picture book to record their journeys, good- quality camera, laptop, money, practical gifts

Capricorn moons: expensive things (I mean it’s a Capricorn moon here 💀), money in an envelope, gift cards to high-end stores, good chocolates, wine, and other specialty gourmet items, functional coffee machine, items to relieve stress (back-massager tool, etc), self-help books

Aquarius moons: technology, new phone, computer, Apple headphones, vintage record player, art materials, something no one else has, something related to their humanitarian or quirky interests, trivia games

Pisces moon: dream journal, thoughtful gifts, paintings, adult coloring books or stuff for arts and crafts, cute headphones, their favorite album and CD’s, something that encourages creativity, collection of bath salts and fragrances, meditation/yoga tools, locket necklace, fluffy blankets and pillows

Thank you for reading hope y’all have a good holiday! 🫶🎁🌟

°❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌*:･❄️ °❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌*:･❄️ °❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌

[honeytonedhottie]

extra self care routine⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍦

this 8 step self care routine is meant to be super DUPER over the top but its intended more so to make u feel like the goddess that u are and to simply pamper, and spoil urself as u should...plus you'll smell like a cupcake after 🎀

warning, LONG post ahead but thats because i tried to be thorough and clear on the steps of this 8-step routine.✨🧁

STEP ONE ; ICING UR FACE

the benefits of facial icing include more radiant skin, helps with spider lines, and blemish control. if u wanna know more about icing ur face i recommend u read this.

but typically you'll fill up a bowl with some water and ice and dunk ur face in the ice in 60 second intervals (thats how i like to do it) or you take an ice cube and run that on ur skin.

STEP TWO ; OILING UR HAIR

i personally dont recommend oiling ur hair overnight, once u apply ur hair oil into ur hair let it sit for 30 minutes - 4 hours depending on how much time u have on ur hands, but if ur gonna do the 8 step self care ritual i would assume u had some time.

use the scalp massaging tool for blood flow to ur head and MASSAGE. imagine all of ur stress seeping out of ur body. it might sound strange, but when im doing this step i imagine myself rearranging and organizing my thoughts 💀.

while ur doing this whole routine i recommend playing an affirmation tape in the background, or ur favorite playlist. 🧁

STEP THREE ; MASKS

next i'll use a spray bottle and wet my hair before going in with my hair mask, and once thats in ur hair use the claw clip to keep ur hair up and out of ur face.

now its time for the facial mask and i recommend keeping kind of an ARSENAL of masks, whether its a liquid or clay mask or sheet masks just have them on u because i usually do face masks of any sort 1-2 times a week for my LUSTROUS glow.

while u have the hair and face masks in, its a good time to do some dry brushing to remove dead skin cells and improve blood circulation. some other masks that u can do to be EXTRA are lip masks and under eye masks.

STEP FOUR ; IN THE SHOWER

wash ur hair as you would usually do, use the body scrub before using a body wash that has similar tones to the body scrub (this is called scent layering) and while in the shower i recommend to do a shower meditation.

if y'all r interested i'll make a shower meditation guide and u can record ur own voice doing the meditation so u can use it ✨

while ur in the shower make sure to be meticulous and take ur time while u wash ur body. do double cleansing so that u can ensure that you're squeaky clean.

now is also the time to shave if u like to do that and remember use a body scrub BEFORE u shave and once ur out of the shower to use a body oil to prevent ingrowns and to just have a smoother shave in general.

STEP FIVE ; OUT OF THE SHOWER

use ur body oil and ur body lotion, this kind of goes along with the before bed slugging notion which gives the SOFTEST most amazing skin in the morning so i highly recommend it.

HOT TIP FROM HONEY ; using a warmed up towel adds to the whole spa experience so i def recommend that, warming up towels/blankets/robes makes me feel so cozy and toasty 🧋✨

the formula for before bed slugging is (body oil + body lotion + a thick body butter/cream)

STEP SIX ; REPAIR AND REPLENISH

once your out of the shower and you’ve slugged ur body, use a leave in conditioner to repair and soothe damaged hair.

use a face milk

cuticle oil

now’s the time to use pimple patches

and things of that nature in general

this ensures that ur being absolutely meticulous and replenishing ur body the proper way. taking care of ur base so that u can make it absolutely GLOW ✨

STEP SEVEN ; FACIAL MASSAGE

use a gua sha and any other facial massage tools to help blood circulation and just be EXTRA. to sculpt ur face like the goddess you are.

facial massage stimulates blood circulation, promoting oxygen flow and nutrient delivery to the skin cells. facial massage helps to release the tension held in the facial muscles, alleviating stress lines and promoting a more youthful appearance.

AND if ur consistent with facial massage, you'll can enhance skin elasticity AND diminish fine lines.

STEP EIGHT ; YOGA AND STRETCHES

nothing feels better then massaging and stretching stiff limbs, especially if u have pains or aches in ur body. look up a follow along, super light, yoga routine or a stretching routine.

i think that a rly good stretch is the perfect way to end ur super duper over the top 8 step self care routine 💗🎀

[renphousa]

In the fast-paced rhythm of 2024, prioritizing self-care becomes paramount, and a massage gun emerges as a must-have in your wellness arsenal. This innovative device, with its percussive therapy, not only alleviates muscle tension but also caters to a holistic well-being approach. 

The Renpho Eye Massager, a standout in self-care technology, goes beyond conventional expectations. Incorporating advanced features, it seamlessly integrates with your routine, offering relief beyond muscles. As we navigate the challenges of modern life, the soothing embrace of an eye mask or a sleep mask becomes indispensable. These aren't just accessories; they are tools for rejuvenation and recovery.  https://go.renpho.com/renpho-blogs-massage-gun-24

[ros3ybabe]

Recommendations? 🎀

Hey lovelies <3

Let's help some girlies out by commenting or reblogging with your favorite self care products! Could be skincare, makeup, hair care, body care, etc! I'm always looking for some new products/tools to try so I thought this would be a good way to spread some helpful info!

Here's a few of my favorites:

🩷 Skincare:

I love face masks and eye masks! My current favorite face mask is the Red Bean Pore Refreshing Face Mask by Beauty of Joseon and my favorite eye masks are The Creme Shop Work Hard Rest Hard eye masks!

🩷 Body Care

body scrubs/body butters! I love using two similar scents together! For the summer, I use Tree Hurt Tropic Glow scrub and body butter and for winter I use Dove Exfoliating Scrub in Brown Sugar and the EOS Vanilla Cahsmete Lotion.

🩷 Hair Care

No specific product recommendations for this, but I love oiling my scalp twice a week! It makes my hair feel and look so beautiful! I currently use The Ordinary Moroccan Argan Oil and I use a scalp massager to gently massage the oil onto my scalp after applying it with warm fingers.

Hair Masks!!! I love the Shea Mositure Raw Shea Butter Hydration Mask so much, I use it with conditioner on my hair oiling days and my hair has never looked better.

🩷 Makeup

I love the Essence Tinted Brow Gel because even if I don't do much makeup, it makes me feel and look a little more put together.

Same goes for the Ulta Beauty Gel Eyeliner in Dark Brown, it makes me look and feel so much better some days, and it's not super bold like liquid liner so I don't feel the need to use Mascara.

Lip Oils!!! Milani Fruit Fetish and Elf Revive are my two favorites!! I have Milani In Cherry Lime and Elf in Jam Session. So moisturizing and a bit tinted so it makes me feel so good when I have it on. Even when I wear a bare face, I always use one of these to elevate my look!

🩷 Miscellaneous

Vitamin/Mineral supplements! I only take ones I know will work for me or ones I'm deficient in. I currently take Vitamin D3 and Aple Cider Vinegar supplements but I am looking into taking Magnesium Gylcinate and Ashwagandha soon as well!

Self care hobbies and routines! My gentle morning routine, journaling, yoga, a wind down night routine, and reading informative books has been so helpful for me!

I'm personally looking for hair growth tips and tools (like the efficiency of silk hair wraps or silk pillow cases, hair growth oils and supplements, etc), any and all skincare tips and tools (like ice face rollers, are gua sha effective, etc), and even body care products recommendations as well!!

I hope this post helps others out too, with everyone sharing their products recs, tips, advice, favorites, and so on!

Til next time lovelies 🩷

[plutosunshine]

How to activate your Sun?

Why is it so important to keep your Sun shining? Sun is the center of the universe and it is the general energy in our chart. It is our energy, talents, and self-expression. When we don’t activate our Sun, life is miserable and boring, we don’t shine and don’t attract luck and happiness.

How to understand that your Sun needs to be activated?

1. You feel no interest in life

2. Depression, negative energy

3. Lack of energy

4. You are miserable

5. You can’t express your talents

The sign and house of our Sun can help us to understand what inspires us and gives the energy. I offer an in-depth analysis in the reading “How to awaken your Sun?”.

Aries Sun

Aries is the first zodiac sign so you are born to start something. It is not necessary to continue or finish but you need to express your creativity and talents at starting something new. Don’t be afraid of expressing your childlike energy! It is your essence and when you suppress that, your energy is wasted. You need to stand up for your interests and goals. If you don’t like conflicts and don’t fight for your opinions, your Sun is not activated. Aries Sun is activated by sport, business, self-employment, sex, etc.

Taurus Sun

Taurus Sun is born to live beautifully. Surround yourself with aesthetic and beautiful things. Everything has to be balanced and calm. Of course, don’t forget about the rest of the chart. Meditation, art, nature – all of that is so good for your Sun. Also, Taurus Sun is born to enjoy life. Delicious food, massage, beautiful house, money, etc. Don’t restrict yourself, it is your essence to enjoy your life. Also, Taurus likes cuddling so much!

Gemini Sun

If you hear all the time “why do you start something and never finish?”, just ignore that. They don’t understand your soul. Because Gemini is born to be everywhere and to learn a little bit from everywhere. You are an explorer. You need to learn new information, get experiences and share it. Gemini Sun people are very good bloggers because Gemini needs communication and sharing information. You are the best couches and sellers. Make new friends, read books, take new courses, etc.

Cancer Sun

Sweet soft Cancers! I hope life didn’t destroy that in you. You need to admit nurturing side of yourself. Cancer is so vulnerable sign that it tends to close off because of traumatic experiences. However, you need to express your love and care to the people you love! That is your essence and if you allow yourself to express that, your life will become better and better! Doing something useful to others is so good for your Sun. However, don’t sacrifice too much! Also, all Cancers MUST be in psychology or astrology, tarot, etc. Because Cancer needs to feel and understand and these tools are the best for that. Also, it is good for Cancers because one of the main goals in their life is to heal the inner child from childhood traumas. If you do that, you will be able to help others to heal themselves, which is also good for your Sun.

Leo Sun

Sun rules Leo so it is extremely important to express yourself. You are a born queen/king and if you don’t express that it can affect your life badly. You have so many talents! And you MUST show them to others! Also, don’t pay attention to what others say about you. You need to focus only on yourself. The producer didn't pick you? That’s his loss, not yours. Trust yourself and make yourself the center of the universe. You MUST shine. Of course, creative hobbies, performances, dance, acting, games, fashion – all these areas are good for you. Also, I would like to mention that it is important for you to be the ONLY one in the relationship (especially if you have Leo Venus). Love triangles kill your energy. You must be the one and the only one.

Virgo Sun

Everybody is tired of people saying that Virgo is a hard-worker. BUT! If you are not working on something, you will direct all your perfectionism and critics to the people around you. And nobody wants to be criticized by Virgo! The best choice for Virgos is to work hard on something important for the others. Whether it be medicine or even esoteric healing. It is important to lead a healthy lifestyle. Also, if you have pets that’s awesome! Helping a pet’s shelter is so good for your Sun! When you don’t have money it kills your energy. That’s why Virgos need to work all the time. They feel secure with money. Also, it is obvious but if you have everything in order in your home and clean it often, your Virgo Sun will be happy!

Libra Sun

Of course, partnerships. We can’t deny that. Any kind of partnership helps your Sun to shine. Whether it be a romantic relationship, friendship, or business. By the way, business and negotiations are good for you! All one-to-one connections bring you luck. For example, the interview. One person communicates with the other. Also, dear Libras, aesthetics! You ARE aesthetic and you need to surround yourself with everything elegant and beautiful. Museums, luxury restaurants, exhibitions, fashion, etc. You are so creative and these talents need to be expressed, so acting, dancing, painting, etc.

Scorpio Sun

Scorpios, my dear warriors. You were born to save people from themselves. You ARE wisdom and you have to navigate all of us in the direction of healing. You have been healing yourself your whole life and this skill lets you help others with that. Your intuition and tendency to transform make you a very powerful person. Astrology, psychology, occult, esoteric – all of that is your tools. You use them to find the truth beneath all the lies. Extreme sports and everything risky may be useful for your Sun. Healing yourself is the most important thing that lets your Sun shine.

Sagittarius Sun

Born explorer! Your Sun shines when you get new experiences. Your goal is to inspire others to explore the world. You are a great advisor. You have so much charm that people adore listening to your stories and learning from them. Learning languages, history, foreign cultures, travel, teaching, coaching – all that gives the energy to your Sun. If you suppress your sense of freedom it makes you miserable. You MUST feel free and independent! Inspire the world and it will inspire your Sun!

Capricorn Sun

Capricorn is born to build and rule. It is good to have a business (or many businesses) or to be a boss. You are a BORN boss. Power and recognition are very important to you so if you want to activate your Sun, you need to have a long-term goal. From the bottom to the top. I am sorry to tell you that but discipline and rules are so useful for activating your Sun. Of course, don’t forget about the rest of your chart. Be the boss of your life, build something and get recognition!

Aquarius Sun

Dear Aquarius, stop hiding your craziness! Yes, you are crazy and genius. Please don’t hide your creative and innovative thoughts from others. Aquarius is born to make the new out of the old. You are a trendsetter, you see the future. Maybe you have (or had in childhood) vivid dreams. Astrology, science, technology, IT, charity, and organizations – all these areas help you to activate your Sun. It is important to socialize, make friends and be in touch with them. Also, you should express your uniqueness whether it be purple hair or a weird tattoo. If you have something like that in mind don’t suppress this desire. Aquarius is here to challenge and provoke society. The era of Aquarius is yours! You activate your Sun when you participate in organizations that struggle for someone’s rights. Fighting for the highest good is so Aquarius!

Pisces Sun

Pisces is the last zodiac sign so it collected all the good and all the bad from 11 zodiac signs. You have a little bit from every sign and you should express that! Water energy = esoteric, spirituality, psychology, art, music. All these areas are a MUST for you (you can choose one of course). You have talents in these areas and it is a crime to hide them. You would be a good blogger because you are so artistic and creative. And of course, CHARITY. Sacrifice is the essence of this sign. However, be aware of your surroundings. Some people may use your kindness. Helping others activates your Sun. Also, all the fields that include healing of some sort. Whether it be nursing or astrology.

[margaretoakgrove]

Taking care of Heisenberg

If once you decide to open an old huge dictionary and find the word ''workaholic'' within this book, i bet the name of this handsome man certainly will be its definition.

It is just incredible that each day Heisenberg finds so many hours to build his metal army of mechanical undead soldiers and, unfortunately, such a small amount of time for taking care of himself.

The lord tends to put his own self-care and state of health aside, but you, on the very contrary, put them on the first place along with yours.

Actually, it will be fair enough to say, that you enjoy taking care of your loved one, and the undeniable fact that you are able to make his life easier and better turns you into one of the happiest people in the world.

Heisenberg is definitely a man of a good appetite, but in spite of that he prefers a simple food over rare exquisite dishes. Therefore if you just cook a fried meat with boiled potatoes and a simple vegetable salad, be doubtlessly sure that your pretty hands will be covered with little kisses of his endless gratitude.

Oftentimes, the old worn clothes of the lord become dirty and damaged as he usually works with motor oil and different metal scraps with rather sharp edges, but you are always ready to remove any oil stain from his trousers and sew up every hole in his shirt.

One needs to mention that your loved one's work is not only physically hard, but it's also hazardous, and, at times, sharp tools, metal scraps or even his own creation that, all of a sudden, went totally crazy can injure him. After such unpleasant situations you carefully patch his bleeding wounds up, and Karl, seeing a concerned look on your face, every time gives you a reassuring smile and tells that you shouldn't be so worried because of just another scratch. (Well yeah, just another scratch which, in the afterwards, turns into another deep scar.)

As Heisenberg strictly forbids you to wander the lowest levels of the factory completely all alone, warning that it's super dangerous, you cannot go down there and check on him when he burns the midnight oil, creating one more addition to his army.

But when the lord sits in his workshop on the highest and safest floor of the building, designing and improving scatches or writing down important notes, you always bring him a healthy snack and a mug of aromatic strong coffee even in the middle of the night which is not a problem for you at all.

When your loved one, after working hard during all day almost in nonstop regime, tirely flops down on your shared cozy bed, you don't ever mind to provide him with a wonderfully relaxing massage. The caring hands of yours slowly and gently rub his weary neck and shoulders, and Karl doesn't even try to hold slight moans of an absolute pleasure, letting you understand like this how unbelievably good you make him feel.

By the havoc which practically daily happens in his life Heisenberg, rather often, feels very stressed out, and you perfectely know that at these gloomy days of his Karl needs the comfort of your company more than usual. You caringly offer him to drink a nice cup of hot relaxing herbal infusion and take a slow walk on the fresh air somewhere in the woods, trying to speak on positive themes in the process of your little trip, at the same time listening to the calming ambient sounds of the nature.

In winter you are especially worried about the health state of your dearest man, noticing that despite a cold weather he is quite lightly dressed, and his neck is perpetually open to the strong gusts of freezing northern and western winds. Does one need to say how surprised the lord was when you timidly gifted him a simply-looking yet so soft and warm scarf knitted with your own golden hands? No, the man wasn't just pleasantly surprised, he was baffled, even shocked by this gesture because literally nobody in his entire life has ever done such a nice thing for him.

Having the new accessory wrapped around his neck (which fits him well, by the way), Karl attends special occasions by the name of family meetings where he with a smug-ass smile on his face lively brags to the siblings (especially to Lady D) about what a kind, caring and attentive person his precious darling really is, unlike someone's annoyingly buzzing bloodthirsty bugs.

Heisenberg is sure as hell that he will never be grateful enough to you for everything you do for him every single day, understanding very well that without your divine presence in his life he would never ever feel so truly loved and cared for.

But the lord does not even imagine that the short sincere ''thank you, Buttercup'' of his makes you melt like a sweet sugar cube in a hot fragrant tea.

And each new day you are willing to keep tirelessly surrounding him with your priceless love and tender care because this so close to your heart man means the world for you and, surely, even more.

[bondwand]

Fascia Massage: Self Massage Tool and How It Relieves Pain

[fitnesseyeguru]

In the pursuit of holistic wellness, yoga instructors advocate integrating diverse self-care tools. The Renpho Eye Massager stands out as a premium recommendation. This eye massager alleviates eye strain and stress, making it an essential post-yoga indulgence. Combining it with an aerobic workout on an exercise machine amplifies its benefits, promoting overall relaxation. The advanced Eyeris Eye Massager model offers enhanced features like heat and compression therapy, providing a deeper, rejuvenating experience. Embracing these tools fosters both physical and mental equilibrium, epitomizing the essence of comprehensive self-care.

[curatedbyondrea]

Ways to Practice Self-Love Using Your Love Language

The five love languages can be a great tool to understand how to show yourself love! Here's how to practice self-love based on your dominant language:

Words of Affirmation:

Daily affirmations: Start your day with positive self-talk. Look in the mirror and compliment yourself, or write down a mantra you can repeat throughout the day.

Gratitude journal: Reflect on the things you appreciate about yourself, your accomplishments, or even just the little things that make you happy.

Self-compassion mantras: When facing challenges, reframe negative self-talk with kind and understanding affirmations.

Acts of Service:

Cook yourself healthy meals: Taking the time to prepare nourishing food shows you care about your well-being.

Clean and organize your space: A tidy environment can reduce stress and create a sense of calm.

Do something you've been putting off: Taking care of those small errands shows you respect your own time and needs.

Receiving Gifts:

Treat yourself: Buy yourself something you've been wanting, even if it's small. It can be a new book, a spa day, or anything that brings you joy.

Fresh flowers: Surround yourself with beauty by buying yourself fresh flowers or taking a walk in nature.

Create a self-love gift basket: Fill a basket with your favorite things, like bath bombs, candles, or cozy socks.

Quality Time:

Digital detox: Schedule time to unplug from electronics and focus on yourself.

Take yourself on a solo date: Go for a walk in nature, visit a museum, or have a quiet coffee date with yourself.

Engage in a relaxing hobby: Spend time doing something you enjoy, whether it's reading, painting, or listening to music.

Physical Touch:

Self-massage: Give yourself a relaxing foot or hand massage, or take a warm bath with essential oils.

Stretching or yoga: Focus on your body and how it feels while moving through gentle stretches or yoga poses.

Spend time in nature: Go for a walk barefoot on the grass or feel the sand between your toes at the beach.

[stargalaxxy]

♡ hi hi, it’s been too long since I’ve written a story… hopefully it’s good hehe ♡

……

Bonnie x Reader

……

- “Damn it Golden shut the hell up!”

There they go again, you roll your eyes expecting at least one of the dorks in the party room to freak out, you can hear Bonnie yell at the golden bear who was most likely irritating the purple rabbit.

Placing your tools into your bin and closing the top right after, it was labeled "Mechanic" on the top in sharpie on brown masking tape. Being a mechanic did not mean fixing the emotional stress on the living animatronics, but being their friend did. At least in your book, taking a deep breath you turn your heel as the door busts wide open.

heavy breathing from Chica can be heard as she looks up finally catching her breath,

- “oh honey, I’m so glad your here!”

Her country accent evident in her voice as she points down the hall,

- “Bonnie is having a total freak out out there! Now I know it’s outta your pay but could yo-“

you giggle smiling at the chubby girl,

- “yes Chica, I was actually about to head out now”

Just as you were about to take a step out of the room a loud crash could be heard from the party room. Curses from both Bonnie and Freddy could be heard mainly Freddy telling Bonnie to calm down, only those weren’t the only words he used. Soon laughter erupted from Goldens mouth…his laughs always unsettled you.

- “I-I guess now is a good time as ever”

Chica chuckles her shoulders bouncing, nodding you follow her out adjusting your shirt and self for the mess that you’ll see. As soon as you made out to the party room you saw the main party table was flipped over and party hats were scattered everywhere. Freddy had a hand over his face as if collecting himself, a look all too familiar when he was trying to reign in his anger. You were guessing it didn’t help that Golden was on the floor legs in the air laughing his ass off, his laughter was the only thing in the room as it echoed almost mockingly.

- “Now Golden, you get on now! Haven’t you caused enough trouble!”

Chica yells lifting her sleeves up marching over to the troublemaker. Glaring down placing her hands on her hips her face had a sour look, much like a mother about to scold their oldest.

- “Golden, what the hell did you do to Bonnie?”

Keeping your distance as the bear looks up to Chica having a staring match which looked as if Golden was winning, Golden scoffs rolling his eyes as he stands up.

- “Geez, he's so sensitive can’t even take a simple joke-”

- “all you do is make jokes”

Freddy's southern accent chimed in as he glared at Golden who only rolled his eyes once again,

- “this is the third time that Bonnie has hada damn fit like this”

Freddy was right, whatever Golden was saying to Bonnie has been taking a toll on the place it had gotten so bad that you’ve heard that they might turn Bonnie off.

- “all these damages that is comin’ from his tantrums are from you. And all you been doin is makin’ it worst!”

The room was quiet, Freddy was always good at bringing attention to his friends and helping them take responsibility.

- “bite me”

And Golden was the one that did not care for them as you did. He looked away as he teleports off somewhere, Freddy grunts as he loosens his tie taking off his hat as he sits on the party chair,

- “oh Fred, you tried”

Chica smiles as she comes over behind Freddy massaging his shoulders.

- “hey Freddy, I can try and talk to Bonnie! Maybe if I can figure out why Golden is picking on him then maybe he’ll have less outbursts!”

You offer Freddy as there was another silence,

- “sure (Y/N), give it a shot”

Freddy finally lifts his head up as he smiles at you, nodding you take your leave to the the side of the stage where a door was, grabbing your keys you unlock the door to find other doors. To the side was Bonnie’s room as you’ve been shown it by him many times before. Taking a deep breath before knocking you prepare yourself for whatever Bonnie could throw at you. Your knocks were soft as you heard a muffle "come in", turning the knob you walk in.

He was sitting with his head propped on his knees as he sulked, his ears flopped down with defeat as he stared at the wall. His foot bouncing up and down, almost like a real rabbit when they stomp their feet. You had to force every ounce of your body not to giggle.

- “Bonnie, are you okay?”

You knew he wasn’t, but isn’t that what everyone asks, you go to sit next to him as you place your hands in your lap. The silence was evident that you got your answer, as he looked away from you. During the time you’ve known Bonnie he had never raised his voice to you, even when he was upset. It was something you liked about him, he had always seemed to welcome you when he was feeling down.

- “hey, I don’t know what Golden said to you but, forget about him.”

Bonnie didn’t say anything so you decided to carry on,

- “don’t give him so much power! He probably annoys you because he has nothing else to do in the basement”

Your sass causes Bonnie to chuckle a little as his shoulders bounced he finally turns to you smiling, his bouncing foot was finally put to rest.

- “geez he’s annoying”

You laugh,

- “you’re just now realizing~”

You tease him as you place your head on his shoulders, you don’t see it but it causers the bunny to blush. As he grins, trying to hide his goofy smile looking away again.

- “so, what did Golden say to make you so upset?”

His thumping continues as he grips his sleeve,

- “I-it’s embarrassing, I honestly shouldn’t have gotten so upset about it”

- “but, it always keeps happening, maybe if you talked about it, you can get it off your mind and it won’t bother you!”

Bonnie thumping got slower but it was still prominent, you place a hand on his shoulder causing him to jump. He looks to you and you finally see his blush.

- “Bonnie, you can tell me”

- “he.. he said, you’d be better off.. with him, and that I could never… get with you…”

Him talking was like slowly ripping off a band-aid, it was painful for him as his face got red saying out loud of what Golden has been saying to him.

- “oh Bonnie, that is a little silly, why would you listen to that doofus when you know he’s wrong”

- “I-I guess it really got to me, I’d absolutely hate it if you went with a guy like him”

Bonnie huffs but it soon dies down as you kiss his cheek,

- “oh please, never in a million years~”

Bonnie smiles as you place your head on his shoulder again,

- “you’re sweet and kind Bonnie, I’m lucky to have met you”

- “I think that’s my line”

You both chuckle as you close your eyes, patting Bonnie’s upper arm,

- “don’t let Golden get to you please, I don’t want to loose you”

- “heh, I promise no more outbursts”

You both sat in comfortable silence as Bonnie leaned over to grab and tune his guitar, hearing the vibrations of the strings brought tranquility to the room as you closed your eyes on Bonnie’s shoulder.

- “hey maybe I can teach you how to pla-“

- “Bonnie Bunny get your Cotten tail out here and clean your mess!”

Both you and Bonnie stopped as you looked to one another soon running out the door before Freddy came and knocked down the door.

…..

[luckshmi]

Understanding Moon Conjunct Saturn in Your Natal Chart

If you have Moon conjunct Saturn in your natal chart, it’s a significant placement that shapes your emotional world and life experiences. This conjunction brings together the Moon, which represents your emotions, mind, and inner self, with Saturn, the planet of discipline, structure, and responsibility. The energy of these two celestial bodies creates a unique dynamic that can bring both challenges and profound growth opportunities.

The Moon governs how you feel and react, your nurturing abilities, and your subconscious mind. It influences your emotional responses and your connection to your inner self. When the Moon is strong in your chart, it enhances your emotional sensitivity, intuition, and depth of feeling.

Saturn, on the other hand, is known as the taskmaster of the zodiac. It symbolizes discipline, structure, and the lessons learned through facing limitations and hardships. Saturn’s energy guides you towards maturity and wisdom by building resilience, taking responsibility, and embracing patience and perseverance.

When the Moon and Saturn are conjunct, their energies merge, leading to a unique interplay between emotion and discipline. This often manifests as emotional restraint and a tendency to approach your feelings with caution and pragmatism. You might find it challenging to express your emotions openly, often appearing reserved or stoic. While the need for emotional security is high, there may also be a fear of vulnerability.

One of the positives of this conjunction is the development of emotional resilience. You are likely to be incredibly strong in the face of adversity. You possess a deep sense of responsibility and are dependable and trustworthy. Your disciplined approach to emotions can help you navigate life’s challenges with a level-headed attitude.

However, this placement also brings its share of challenges. Emotional restraint can lead to feelings of isolation or loneliness, as expressing vulnerability may feel risky. There might be a tendency towards self-criticism and a feeling of emotional heaviness. You may have grown up with early responsibilities or experienced emotional hardships that have shaped your outlook on life.

To ease the effects of Moon conjunct Saturn, self-care practices are essential. Embrace activities that nurture your inner self to balance the disciplined energy of Saturn. Journaling can be a powerful tool to explore and express suppressed emotions. Engaging in creative pursuits, such as painting, music, or writing, allows for emotional expression in a safe and structured manner.

Mindfulness and meditation practices can also be beneficial, helping you cultivate emotional awareness and acceptance. Building a support network of trusted friends or a therapist can provide a safe space for expressing feelings and seeking guidance. Physical activities, like yoga or walking, can help release built-up tension and promote a sense of well-being.

Incorporating Ayurvedic self-care practices can further support your emotional balance. Warm oil massages (Abhyanga) with calming oils like sesame or almond oil can soothe your nervous system. Incorporating grounding foods, such as root vegetables and warm, nourishing meals, can provide a sense of stability and comfort.

Understanding your Moon conjunct Saturn placement is key to navigating its challenges and harnessing its strengths. While this conjunction may bring emotional restraint and a sense of responsibility, it also offers the gift of resilience and maturity. By embracing self-care practices and seeking healthy ways to express your emotions, you can find balance and thrive.

Moon conjunct Saturn in your natal chart presents a blend of emotional depth and disciplined restraint. While it brings challenges of emotional expression and feelings of heaviness, it also fosters resilience and responsibility. Through mindful self-care and supportive practices, you can navigate this placement’s influence and unlock your full potential.

[mellosdrawings]

What do you use to draw with? Like what device and drawing app? I finally graduated high school and want to get back to drawing and maybe start posting it but I wanted some advice

Hi~

I'm just gonna go and give you my full setup (plus health advices coz trust me they're important).

These days I use an IPad Pro 11" and Procreate. My friend has the bigger version but I hurt my elbow using it because it made my moves too big, so I settled for the littler version. I suggest you chose based on your feelings for that. If you want a bigger screen to see more of your work, it's perfectly valid.

If you do take those two, I suggest you also take the ICloud save. (I have the 200Go save and that's only 3€ a month, but the 50Go save in free!) Should your IPad eventually break, you'll be able to retrieve ALL your art files from the Cloud, which is a huge lifesaver!

(I used to use a simple computer plus graphic tablet plus Adobe Photoshop, but it kept crashing so much that I had one too many rage quits. Plus it's super expensive since it's subscription based, and nowadays they take your art from the Adobe Cloud to feed their AI, so I can't really recommend that. Photoshop is an excellent tool but the direction Adobe is taking does NOT suit me.)

For brushes I just use the default Procreate Pencil. For the eraser I use Syrup, which is found in the default Inking Brush set.

My base canvases are 4000x4000px with a DPI of 300 (I suggest you improve the DPI if you do illustrations or really precise work. I only do little fanarts and comics with that DPI). For posting online please be careful to chose an RGB color profile (I use the default Display D3). If you ever want to print though, you should chose a CMYK color profile (I use the Generic CMYK Profile then).

Now back to the real world! I'm going to strongly suggest you make sure your paper/computer/screen is at least at an angle, at best right in front of your face. The least pressure you have to put on your neck (bending), the better it will be. If you do traditional art, I'll suggest actual art tables that you can adjust in size and angle. Here's mine.

To prevent any pain in my thumb I use one of those hold-helpers thingies kids use to hold their pens properly! It increases the size of the grip which prevents from holding the pen too tight (trust me, it's important). You can also find special tape to roll around your pen if you need an even bigger grip.

I wish I had a proper desk and chair because that will also be very important for your posture and health, but rn I'm not in my own flat so eh. What I'll encourage you to do instead are stretches and exercises BEFORE and AFTER an art session. Fingers, wrist, elbow, shoulder, back, neck. If you want to avoid medical costs (masseur, kine, osteopath) you need to take great care of your body. You can also find little self-massaging gadgets in sports shops to help with your muscles.

(Talking from experience there. I'm only 25 and I already had to undergo surgery on my writing wrist because I f*ed up. Your health is important!)

I'm aware most of those are extremely expensive to get (it took me half a year of intense working and savings just to get the IPad) but I've found that they were 100% worth it in the end. It's alright to get things little by little if you feel they are going to be important for you. I strongly suggest you invest in your health first though!

Once you have decided on your preferred setup, I guess the only thing left to do is train, experiment and have fun!

I think that's all? If you need more advices on setups or art or whatever, I'd be happy to help, my DMs are always open!

Also congrats on graduating highschool!

[lazyyogi]

How do you cope with life? What do you on a regular basis to self-soothe? Please keep us updated if or when you're doing tarot readings. Thanks

My standpoint is that if you are coping, you are either waiting something out or you are stagnating.

Sometimes circumstances are such that you just have to endure a hardship until it ends. That's when coping strategies can be helpful to relieve the suffering and nourish your strength and energies.

But if you are coping without an end in sight to the circumstances creating your hardship, then something else should be done about it. That can be a bigger task to address.

Life in general does not need coping. If that seems to be the case, it is likely that you are suffering from your own ego. I don't mean that in a judgmental way--we are all suffering from our ego, our false sense of separate self.

But life in general for the average human is basically fine. It is our own collection of identities and the confusing way we interact with anxiety, desire, insecurity, and sadness that make us suffer unnecessarily.

To sort this out, I recommend beginning with daily meditation and reading the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Those two resources are an excellent foundational starting point.

In terms of self-soothing, I rely on solid self-care. I do strength training 4 days a week, I'm adding yoga back in maybe 1-3 days per week, I have a theragun and self-massage tools, I take protein supplements, I enjoy delicious teas, a glass of scotch or an edible after dinner can be a nice treat, and of course spending time with my girlfriend or my cats (one of whom is sitting in my lap as I write this).

That said, there was a long time in my life in which I had no cats, no girlfriend, living in a tiny apartment, and I had no self-care regimen. All of this grew into my life over time.

While daily meditation has done so much for me spiritually, it has also taught me the way to approach making changes to my daily life.

Similar to coping, if you need to self-sooth then self-sooth. But also look into making small changes in your daily life that help you to grow through your challenges and put habits/routines in place that support your wellbeing. It takes time, but time will pass regardless.

Namaste. Much love!

LY

[pulisicsgirl]

flustered assessments - christian pulisic

summary: Y/N is a nursing student struggling to study for an assignment and Christian offers to help out by letting her do an assessment on him; super fluffy, established relationship

pairing: Christian Pulisic x nursing student!reader

word count: 2.4k

notes: this is the first fic that I'm posting on here!!! :) this fic is entirely self-indulgent and I wrote it during finals week last semester, so it might be super niche, but I still thought it was cute so and figured I would share it. please tell me what you think!

You held your head in your hands as you hunched over the desk, all your work laid out before you. Your mind seemed to spin as you tried to take in and retain all of the information written in your notebook and printed on the sheets of paper before you. You were preparing to head into final exam week as a junior-year nursing student, and you were due to perform a graded head-to-toe assessment the following morning. Nerves wracked your body as you tried to go through the checklist you had to complete (from memory). You wiggled your fingers as you read through your notes, trying to dispel some of the anxiety you were feeling.

You felt a light pressure on your back and a kiss was placed on your neck, just below your ear, as Christian leaned his body over you and wrapped his arms around your torso.

He had come over earlier that night so the two of you could try to spend some of his very limited time off together, but when he realized how much work you had piling up before exams and how stressed you were about studying, he immediately shifted gears, encouraging you to do whatever work you needed to and doing his best not to distract you. It meant a lot to you that he recognized how important your studies were to you, and that he didn’t try to convince you to spend time with him instead. You had wanted nothing more than to spend the evening wrapped in his arms under a blanket on the couch, watching a movie until you drifted into a peaceful sleep—honestly. But with so many tests looming in your near future, you knew you wouldn’t be able to relax and focus on spending time with him—and he realized that too. So for the last few hours, he has wandered in periodically, ensuring that you had snacks and took breaks every so often. He talked you down from your anxious thoughts, reassuring you that you were capable of the things that you had set out to do.

“Hey, baby. Just checking in,” he said, almost at a whisper. “How are things going?”

You sighed softly, subtly leaning back into his chest and groaning in frustration. “I feel so overwhelmed,” you whined, rubbing the palms of your hands in your eyes. “I feel like I’m just reading the same information over and over again and not retaining anything.” Christian stood up straight, using his fingers to gently massage your shoulders as you tilted your head back to look at him. His faced held a sympathetic look as he stared back down at you.

He thought for a moment. “What are you working on right now?”

“I’m trying to prepare for the head-to-toe assessment I have to do in the morning,” you gestured to the equipment you had laid out on the desk. Your stethoscope, blood pressure cuff, and pen light, among other tools, lay unused on the surface.

“Would it help if you actually went through the assessment instead of just reading about it?” he asked softly.

You pondered his words for a brief moment. “Yeah, actually,” you looked back up at him. “It might.”

A grin broke out on his face, accentuating the soft dimples in his cheeks. “You could do it on me!” he replied with excitement. He had always loved seeing you practice any of your nursing skills. He often made remarks about how you were his “smartie pants” that was going to save lives one day, and it warmed your heart each time. Any time he would feel an ache or pain, he would come to you to ask what was wrong, and whether you had the answer or not, you knew that he secretly just loved when you would dote on him and try to take care of him.

“Really? Are you sure?” you asked. He just nodded, bouncing lightly on his toes in excitement.

“Where do you want me?” he asked with a grin. You told him to go sit on the bed while you grabbed your tools and a couple sheets of paper. You placed them on the bedside table and tried to mentally prepare yourself to do the assessment.

“Okay, so…” you looked up at Christian’s face which only held a small, eager, and supportive smile. He was sitting up at the top of the bed with his back against the headboard. In an instant, you felt a wave of anxiety as you thought about how unprepared you felt for this assignment. You pulled on the fingers of your right hand, a habit that you often did when you were nervous.

Christian picked up on this, leaning forward to grab your hands with his own. “Hey, baby. Relax,” he spoke softly, as though you were a small, scared woodland animal that he was doing his best not to spook. He gently pulled you forward, uttering a soft, “c’mere” as he pulled you to sit on his lap, with your legs on the outside of his so you were straddling him. He placed both of his hands on your cheeks, looking intently into your eyes. “It’s just me and you here. You can do this. And you can run through it as many times as you need to tonight. I’ll be right here.” His thumb stroked your cheek gently. “Okay?” You felt butterflies in your stomach at his words as you nodded and glanced down. Even after as long as you had been together, he never failed to get you flustered.

You took a deep breath, trying to center yourself and focus on his encouragement, and he moved his hands from your face, settling them on your hips. You decided to just stay where you were to do the assessment—it wasn’t the most conventional way to assess a patient by any means, but you felt better when you were close to him. You leaned over to the bedside table, grabbing your notebook and a pen so you could jot down notes as you went.

“Okay,” you paused, collecting yourself. “Hi, my name is Y/N, and I’m going to be your nurse today.” You glanced up to Christian’s face, feeling almost giddy at the amused look on it. “I need to do a head-to-toe assessment on you, is that okay?” You mentally went through the elements of the introduction that you needed to fulfill, checking each one off in your head as you went.

Christian replied with a “yes, ma’am,” and a short nod.

“Okay, can I get your name and date of birth?”

“Christian Pulisic. September 18, 1998.” You had already begun writing down the answer before he started speaking, already sure of his answer.

“Do you know what day of the week it is?”

“It’s a beautiful Thursday evening.”

You giggled at his response, feeling a little more anxiety flutter away. “Do you know where you are?”

“Your apartment?” he questioned, not exactly sure how he was supposed to answer. You just nodded to show that he was fine.

“Alright, and do you know why you’re here?”

“To help my beautiful, genius girlfriend study for her exams so that she can ace this tomorrow and go on to become the most brilliant and talented nurse this world has ever seen.” You felt the heat rush into your cheeks at his response. You looked up to his face and found an earnest honesty in his eyes as he grinned at you. You shook your head with a laugh, turning back to your notes.

“Are you in any pain?”

“No.”

You began taking his vital signs, pretending to take his temperature and oxygen saturation since you didn’t have the equipment to do those. You took his blood pressure and counted his pulse and respirations, noting them on your paper.

“Everything normal?” he asks.

“For the most part,” you smiled. “Your heart rate is kind of fast, but I usually don’t take my patient’s pulse while I’m sitting in their lap, so that could have something to do with it.” He smiled sheepishly, dropping his chin to his chest as he laughed at himself. “And your blood pressure is just a hair high, but with as active as you are and how well you eat, I wouldn’t worry about it. It probably just has to do with the heart rate thing, too.”

You continued assessing him to the best of your ability, asking him questions about how he had been feeling and checking his eye movement with your pen light. Christian continued trying to make you laugh as he followed all of your directions. When you asked him to puff out his cheeks to test one of the cranial nerves, he crossed his eyes, acting as goofy as he could.

You began asking him questions related to his heart, asking if he had experienced any chest pains or dizziness. You put your stethoscope in your ears and, as you did so, Christian leaned forward off of the headboard, pulling his shirt over his head quickly, and discarding it on the floor. You felt the heat flooding your face once again as you studied his bare abdomen.

“Like what you see, Nurse Y/N?” he wiggled his eyebrows as he spoke.

You rolled your eyes, laughing anyway. “Just shut up and lean back,” you giggled, pushing his chest. You placed the stethoscope to his skin, listening to the soft lub-dub, lub-dub of his heartbeat, a soft smile passing over your face. It was one of your favorite sounds—his heartbeat. It was a comforting sound, knowing he was alive and well. You had fallen asleep many times, head pressed to his chest as the steady rhythm lulled you to sleep.

You jotted down some more notes as you took the stethoscope out of your ears, turning back to look at him. “Do you have any history of smoking?” you asked with a smile, as you already knew the answer.

“No,” he smiled.

“Alright, have you experienced any coughing recently? Any difficulty or pain with breathing? Any shortness of breath?”

“Well… a little bit,” he pondered, tapping his finger to his chin. You quirked your head to the side, raising an eyebrow at him in question. Why hadn’t he mentioned to you that he was having trouble breathing recently? A thousand possibilities ran through your head in an instant.

“Well, you know… because you took my breath away,” he raised his eyebrows as if to say, ‘that one was pretty good, huh?’.

 You just grabbed your notebook, writing in it once more. “Patient… thinks… he’s smooth,” you spoke slowly as if you were writing the words in your notes.

“Heyyyy,” he groaned and both of you laughed.

You continued working through the list of what you needed to do, checking off each item, one by one. As you were working through the neuro section, Christian moved his hands from your hips, down to settle on your thighs, where he rubbed the pads of his thumbs over the exposed skin just below the hem of your shorts.

“Have you, um… h-have,” your breath caught in your throat, suddenly feeling flustered at the soft touch of his fingers. You swallowed hard, attempting to pull yourself together and promptly failing. You dropped your hands into your lap in defeat, letting out a heavy sigh. “You have to stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” He wore a sly grin on his face.

“You know what you’re doing,” you groaned.

He laughed at your desperation. “Come on, if you can do it in these circumstances, you can do it in any setting,” he retorted, raising his eyebrows at you. As much as you may not like it, he was probably right.

You sighed again, stretching out your back and shaking your head to try to refocus yourself.

Soon enough, you had finished your checklist, looking through your notes to ensure you hadn’t forgotten anything.

“Alright, I think that’s everything,” you smiled at him. “I diagnose you as… alive.”

“Oh, good. I was worried,” he said in an amused tone, squeezing your thigh. “Alright,” he took the checklist from your hands. “Run me through everything you would do for an assessment, and I’ll check you.”

You took a deep breath, pulling at your fingers again. One of his hand resumed it’s position on your thigh. “Okay I start by introducing myself, I get two patient identifiers and assess for alertness and orientation. Then I’ll take temperature, pulses, respirations…”

You continued listing everything you could remember, running through the assessment in order in your head.

When you reached the end, Christian beamed at you, setting the sheet of paper on the bed beside you. “You aced it. Every last thing on that list—you got it.”

“Really?”

“Every. Last. One.” He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’m so proud of you.” Your heart fluttered in your chest as you closed your eyes, leaning your head onto his shoulder. He ran his fingers gently over your back, tracing patterns into your spine. “You’ve been studying for hours now, and you’ve got this material down. Do you feel comfortable calling it a night? We can run through it again a couple times in the morning before you actually head in to do it.”

You smiled to yourself at his supportive and caring words. You nodded, head still on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around your torso, scooting down the bed so that he could lay down, pulling you to lay on his chest. You instantly melted into him, feeling the ache in your shoulders and back as you finally relaxed.

In a matter of minutes, you felt your eyelids begin to droop as Christian continued rubbing your back slowly.

“Thank you for helping me study,” you spoke slowly, sleep already threatening to take you. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend much time together tonight.”

“It’s okay, baby. Next week, after you crush your finals, I’ll take you out and we can spend all the time in the world together then.”

That simple statement made you smile, giving you something to look forward to after a long week of exams.

And sure enough, Christian was right. After a night of peaceful rest in his arms, the two of you ran through the material a couple more times the next morning, and then, after you had donned your scrubs (earning several cheeky remarks from Christian about how hot you looked in them) you headed into the lab to do the assessment with your instructor and passed it with flying colors.

[mx-myth]

Okay so I've had some meta thoughts about Laurence's amnesia and how it relates to his relationship with Tharkay sitting in my drafts for like over a year now so I figured I'd finally clean it up and post it. Heads up it's really long.

Laurence finally consciously realises that he loves Tharkay (or is in love with him, whatever nuance you'd like) after "knew him, and knew himself." But at this point he's completely in pieces as a person (more on this next paragraph). Post-amnesia, he's an entirely different man. Pre-Temeraire Laurence is the harshest, strictest version both of and with himself. He follows the rules to the letter, basically takes Temeraire only out of duty in the beginning, and even keeps the promise between him and Edith despite there being no formal arrangement at all. Post-Temeraire but pre-amnesia Laurence has softened. He's putting less emphasis on the rules and more on his morals (see: treason). He has more leeway but still carries that honor/duty/order with himself.

Which is why post-amnesia Laurence is the version of himself that discovers that he loves Tharkay. In the wake of losing his memories and then regaining them he's lost and unmoored. Both of his past selves are so different and therefore so distant. They're both true but it's too jarring for him - especially in his current circumstances, much less the overall war - so Laurence becomes a new person. This is Laurence at his most vulnerable, his most unguarded, who smiles more often now because he doesn't really know that he didn't smile that much before. He has two major tethers to his personhood: Temeraire and Tharkay (I hesitate to say only tethers, simply because Laurence's life isn't that small, but repeatedly these two are the ones who have had the biggest impact on his life, who have kept him going). Obviously he loves Temeraire, he's never going to stop loving Temeraire, he just isn't capable of it, but seeing Temeraire didn't bring back his memories (I can't imagine how Temeraire must have felt, meeting a version of Laurence who had never met him). Laurence loves Temeraire in the most unconditional, selfless way - to be very Greek about it, his philia. But I think when he finally comprehends how Tharkay was the catalyst behind this radical change of his self he dives into his memories again and goes over them in excruciating detail (and he was definitely doing that already, but now he's doing it with a lens exclusively focused on Tharkay). At some point he comes to the realisation that Tharkay loves him, and that he loves him, and that he's been unconsciously shoving it down every time it's surfaced (past-Laurence was saying no homo while actively homo-ing). And with the benefit of being an new version of the same person (and also some hindsight, finally), this Laurence says, I've committed treason. My country sees me as a traitor but they still need me to serve them as a tool. I lost myself once in a war (see: "what are you doing?") that's still being fought. Time is short and there's no guarantee I won't lose my memories again, that I will still be the person I am right now. What do I have to lose?

(And on some level, this Laurence thinks, what can stop me?)

He begins giving to Tharkay what Tharkay always had given to him. His acts of devotions start small (relative to Tharkay's; transporting too many ferals is obviously a little outside of what Laurence can feasibly do). He cares for Tharkay once he wakes ("have you noticed the top of your head appears likely to come off?"), he helps him eat and drink, he massages his hands once they heal, he stays with him through the nightmares that come to haunt him. And he continues doing these little things for Tharkay, hoping that he understands (he's willing to wait, Tharkay waited for him after all, and Laurence doesn't want to push him, especially as he's healing). But I think the act that hits Tharkay like, oh, it's different this time is when Laurence bargains his freedom to Napoleon. I feel like that carries unspeakable meaning for Tharkay, who was ostracized growing up and ended up never having a "permanent" home since he travelled so much. I can't imagine that he hasn't been in a similar situation before, but he's probably always been expected to weasel his way out of it without any outside help. He's trained himself out of expecting someone to help him, to care enough about him to save him. Yet part of the man who turned to treason simply so the dragons of France wouldn't die in pain lives on in this Laurence. Pre-Temeraire Laurence is rules and post-Temeraire pre-amnesia Laurence is morals, but post-amnesia Laurence is all heart. There was never a way he was going to leave Tharkay behind.

So Tharkay starts watching him. He watches Laurence continue to devote himself to him, again and again. He brings him his coat on cold days. When it rains and their scars ache he curls around his hands and rubs lotion into them. When he goes into town he always brings Tharkay back a little gift. He starts growing vegetables in the garden and he learns how to cook non-wartime foods and how to knit (because he is a man forged by war and what does one even do during peacetime when one's dragon is busy reforming the government, anyway?) and suddenly he's providing for Tharkay like never before. He looked away for one moment and suddenly Laurence's prescence and all that he does has made the manor a home.

Yet Tharkay, for years, has told himself so many times that Laurence is off-limits, untouchable, that he can love him but that there's no chance that Laurence will love him back. The only way he can love Laurence is silently, nearly from afar, and so he tried to do that. But he can't just stand by and so every time he finds himself committing a deux ex Tharkay (see: ferals, again). He understands that there's some shit Laurence needs to learn himself (and god is this series very good about character development for Laurence) but he's not going to do nothing when the man in about to die. For him it's about caring and providing for Laurence even if he doesn't know it. He learns to content himself with the knowledge that, even if nothing comes of it, he can still be by Laurence's side.

But then the amnesia plot happens (which he only learns of after all of it goes down) and suddenly there is a half-stranger wearing the skin of the man he loves (loved, he tells himself) looking at him with those familiar blue eyes filled with a completely unfamiliar emotion. He's relieved that Laurence remembers but he's said that his Laurence is gone that he's even thinking of it like that (Tharkay has a lot of anger, both at himself and others and the world). Laurence is right in front of him, he's not gone at all, but he's gone in a way that matters. But also this new Laurence is by his side all the time. He's feeding him and helping him drink and dress and he sleeps on the floor by his bedside. Tharkay is so confused because this has to be some kind of fantasy dream he's having. He must still be in the cave (and it's believable that he is, because he returns there every night in his dreams). But he isn't and he has to struggle to come to terms with this new Laurence.

So every time Laurence does something even remotely nice he hyper-analyses it and rationalizes it to himself. He deludes himself into thinking that this is normal for Laurence now. It's normal for Laurence to fuss and hen over him now; it's normal for him to smile at him with that emotion written plainly on his face that Tharkay still hasn't (refuses) to decipher. And he does this well into post-canon.

For that reason he only gets with the program when Laurence has to leave the manor (leave home) for a long while (probably with Temeraire) and suddenly Tharkay is all alone in this huge manor. He's wearing the socks Laurence knitted for him and eating food Laurence grew and walking into rooms and seeing little parts of him scattered everywhere. There's a novel he's reading left on the table by the chair he prefers in the library. There's a cookbook in the kitchen in which he's bookmarked recipes he thinks he might like. Tharkay finds a handwritten list of things they need to buy in town left out for him. He left his pillows on Tharkay's bed because he knows he likes sleeping with a ton of pillows (and they smell like him, and Tharkay pretends he doesn't bury his face in him, that he doesn't miss him while he's gone). When Tharkay wakes up in the morning he makes two cups of tea and waits for Laurence to come in from talking with Temeraire before remembering that neither of them are here (home). He expects Laurence to appear in the evenings to ask if he wants to go on a walk through the grounds with him (and he always ends up saying yes). Tharkay learns that the manor is too big for one man who has always been a little too lonely in his life.

So until Laurence returns home he plots and plans and agonizes. After a week once Laurence has come home (and the first thing he had said to him was welcome home, and Laurence had beamed at him, and it was so unbelievably natural to say it) Tharkay begins his attempts at reciprocating. He wakes up earlier so that he can brew Laurence tea so he can take it out to sit with Temeraire. He says that he cooked some of the recipes from Laurence's cookbook and insists on making them for Laurence (he had to figure out his system of marking which recipes were Laurence's favourites). He gifts him a sturdy, functional, and beautifully crafted knife to wear around the house for daily use; he specifically makes sure the knife is up to Temeraire's standards. In fact, Tharkay talks to Temeraire about everything, and Temeraire tells him, with no minced words while completely drawing his own conclusions, that it's very nice that Tharkay is asking him for his blessing, but does he really need it at this point? Haven't they been courting long enough? He's always approved of Tharkay, because he makes Laurence happy.

That's how Tharkay realises he and Laurence have been dancing around each other like shy birds, both of them subtly showing off but not making the first move. And maybe he realises that Laurence is thinking how he used to think - that it's okay as long as he can be by his side, that he doesn't need his love reciprocated (it's a very long chain of Tharkay loving Laurence, Laurence knowing Tharkay loves him and loving him back, and Tharkay loving Laurence and knowing he knows he loves him and loves him back). And of course Tharkay wasn't going to make the first move back then, and if Laurence hasn't by now, then maybe he should borrow some of Temeraire's courage.

It's something small. The words come later, given how action-forward both Laurence and Tharkay are. They don't even need words. Maybe Tharkay takes Laurence's hand during dinner and intertwines their fingers, maybe he touches Laurence's cheek after he's braided his hair as their eyes meet in the mirror, maybe as they pack away the port and piquet he kisses him good night. Whatever it is, they look at each other and simply know. Tharkay sees Laurence slowly start to smile, a huge one that spreads across his entire face, one that he's only seen on Laurence when he thinks he's alone with Temeraire. He seems to brighten, almost radiating light.

For his part, Laurence reciprocates. He squeezes Tharkay's hand, he turns his cheek into Tharkay's touch, he pulls him in for another kiss. He watches as something seems to drop from Tharkay, something that he hadn't even known he was carrying. He becomes loose and relaxed, his body language more open as he looks at Laurence with one of his little smiles, a bit of shyness that he's never seen before evident on his face. He tells Tharkay that he's the most beautiful person he's ever seen.