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mcdonaldsnumberone · 2 years

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a bit tipsy !

“intimate starters” ig

gender neutral reader

prompt list

—”i don't want to be alone.”

It’s a hard thing, truthfully, for Rin to admit his own limits. In his world, his limits only exist for him to surpass them, and he’s wandered this lonely road of his through nothing but sheer determination and his heart’s raging hatred. As much as he hates to confront himself about it, his frustration and anger all stems from a place of abandonment and loneliness—all he ever wanted was to be acknowledged and loved as he ran full steam ahead towards what he once believed was his shining future and noble dream.

He knows you’re doing your best to make sure he’s cared for, and he knows his habit of walling himself up and trying to force through things alone is a result of his own insecurity and immaturity. But still, he can’t deny how much happier he feels when he notices that you’ve waited for him to finish training to see him off, or whenever you swing by during his allotted break times to drop off any snacks or interesting things that caught your eye. Even if you’re not someone professionally associated with sports, it’s confirmation to him that you haven’t abandoned him and that you refuse to give up on him.

It takes a lot of courage for him to come to terms with the fact that he needs you to keep going. Being with someone like him is far from easy. He’s dedicated himself to soccer before he’s dedicated himself to anything—or anyone—else, so he doesn’t want to accidentally push you away either. Slowly but surely, your warmth gets him to ease up and find the silver lining in his life: to love rather than to be avaricious, to heal than to rip apart old wounds, to move forward instead of drowning in the past.

So when the nights become too long, when the games become too tainted, when his own eyes become clouded with the shadows of his doubts, he wants to be able to reach out to you. You’re willing to take him with open arms and the same unconditional love that you’ve always shown him, and he wants to learn how to move on past his grudges. He needs you, just as much as he needs his conviction.

Rin treasures you, more than anyone else in the world. Nobody understands his hurt the way you do, and nobody empathizes with him in the way you do. You’re truly a shining, irreplaceable figure in his life during what might be his most vulnerable stage in his sports career, and Rin loves you very, very much. It takes time and effort to get him to reveal that side of himself to you, but you two both know that deep down, nothing can sever the bond you’ve cultivated with one another.

“I don’t ever want to grow stagnant. Watch over me. I’ll go the distance for you- No, we’ll go the distance together.”

—”thank you for taking care of me.”

The world has yet to give up on someone like Kunigami. Kunigami doesn’t know when he officially lost that glimmer of hope that he had always kept nestled deep in his heart, but when he did, he thought he would never view his universe with the same optimism that he had nurtured since his childhood. And nothing could bring back that innocence, but he realizes that he felt the twinges of idealism spark up in his heart again when he let himself love again.

And you certainly have yet to give up on him. You absolutely refuse to see him mope and wallow in his own misery. You do whatever you can do to roll up your sleeves and inject that happiness back into his life. You can’t turn back time, but the most you can do is to make the most out of the time awaiting him. The most powerful thing in the world was never hatred—it was love, and it would always be the power to love. You want Kunigami to believe in that again, and to you, the best way to show that would be by being patient and learning to love him.

You’re persistent and tenacious, finding the cracks in his resolve and worming your way into them. You’re the one that sneaks little notes into his food or fetches his water bottle during his training. You’re the one that’s cheering for him the loudest during his games or the one that helps him clean up after everyone else has gone home. You’re a constant presence in his life, even amidst all the dramatic changes and strenuous rituals that he’s undergone. Even as he grows or breaks, you have always remained the same, forever offering your hand to him whenever he needs it.

And he wonders what could have compelled you to fight so hard on his behalf. It takes such a long time for him to accept you, for him to come to terms with the fact that he’s someone who still deserves love and respect after the hell he’s gone through, and for him to venture back to seeing the good in the world. If he can’t even see and appreciate all you’ve done for him as his biggest supporter, how can he step out back into the vast world again? You’re his anchor and his first step, and you always have been.

You don’t need much from him. You don’t even need him to become like the person he was before. All you want is for him to heal when he can and for him to continue forging his own path forward. Kunigami is someone precious to you, and you want him to understand that. Not even all the twisted evils lurking in the world could change how you feel towards him, and you pray deep in your heart that your conviction can continue to move him towards the light, until the day comes where he can embrace his own happiness once again.

“Why do you fight so hard? For me? Why? You’re so weird. Keep dreaming. Sometimes, that’s the most anyone can do.”

—”let's stay here for a while.”

Nagi would have never dreamed that a simple offer from Reo would land him in such a place. He’s not like many of the players around him; he’s never felt a burning inclination towards soccer, never felt the nip of desperation at his heels before his awakening at Blue Lock, never felt the first pangs of love stabbing at his chest. Everything has started moving so fast, so vivaciously that Nagi can’t help but continue to explore further into the world with wide eyes and a greedy desire.

Even with that being said though, there are the quiet ebbs of morning and night where Nagi is reminded that these serene moments matter just as much as the breathless moments on the field. You’ve always encouraged him to march to the beat of his own drum, to find his exhilaration on his own terms. Sometimes, the only thing Nagi wants to do is wrap himself up in his sheets with you in tow and to forget about the world, indulging in your hugs and letting everything else melt away.

You have never cared too much about Nagi the Athlete, always preferring his true and unapologetic self over whatever the media makes out of him. You’ve always accepted him for who he was, whether that be him chasing after the soccer ball like a crazed man or him being nothing more than a whiny teddy bear wanting cuddles and a lazy day. He likes that about you, that he doesn’t need to hide any part of himself or have to watch himself around you.

The world moves too fast for him sometimes, and he needs you to ground him. He can keep up with what’s demanded of him, and Nagi eagerly rises to the challenge. But he still needs those moments of clarity, where it’s just you kissing him awake while the sun peeks in through his windows and he can take the pressure of the world off his shoulders for a little while. It’s a beautiful gift of yours, to let him fully relax and let go of his worries, and it encourages Nagi to keep trying, for your sake at the very least.

Nagi hopes that he can be just as much of an encouraging yet stable presence in your life. He wants to savor these stolen minutes, because he knows that as he progresses into his career properly, they’ll grow fewer and rarer in between. Nagi doesn’t want much: all he wants is you at his side, leaning on his shoulder and dozing off with him quietly, basking not in the glory of the thrill but in the glory of the warm domesticity you’ve forged inside his heart.

“Mmmm… It’s nice, isn’t it? I like being around you. I don’t need to worry about anything. I wish I could do this all day with you. I don’t think I’d have any complaints then.”

—”you’re cute.”

Kaiser lives in a little world of his own. There’s nothing for him to worry about, other than his own success and entertaining himself with his odd superiority complex. He’s the kind of guy that can’t stand it when someone starts lingering on his mind for a little too much, even if they’re not someone who’s even remotely a threat to him. Maybe the best word to describe his relationship with you is that he has a terrible crush, and Kaiser has the worst time in the world realizing that the tug he feels in his chest when you’re around is that.

He flirts with you in a way that makes everyone want to pull his hair out. Constantly gloating whenever you’re watching, doing whatever he can to get your attention on him, acting like he owns the place even more than he already does. It would be endearing if it weren’t for the fact that he was so conceited over his own crush, and nothing would satisfy you more than to knock him down a peg at times.

But even then, this is Kaiser’s way of learning to deal with others, especially when romantic feelings are involved. The last thing he wants to do is to scare you away completely, so even if he acts like a prideful little prince, he does have his moments where he fawns over you and does his best to prove to you that he’s more than his swaggering persona. He wants to be someone you’re proud of, someone you like being around.

Kaiser loves it when you lavish him with praise and attention, even if you cut it short to make sure it doesn’t get to his head. He likes that you’re someone who can keep him on his toes, and he finds himself enamored at the fact that you’re always giving him a run for his money. He loves that thrill—he loves that you’re someone who refuses to simply cave in and take the easy way out. You live for the challenge, just as much as he does, and that vibrant spirit of yours is what attracted him to you to begin with.

He’ll do his best to spoil you too. He might not be the best at pampering you the way most people expect to be pampered, but he’s doing his best and somehow gets the message across. It’s all part of his charm, being this irritating yet irresistible figure in your life. Kaiser will always be drawn to your side like a moth to a flame, and it’s all up to you whether or not you let him crash and burn or let him shine even brighter in the afterglow of your life.

“C’mon, why don’t you smile for me? People are going to get the wrong idea if you always frown whenever I’m around. We’re lovers, aren’t we? Nothing wrong with looking the part, is there?”

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #rin itoshi #rensuke kunigami #nagi seishiro #michael kaiser #x reader #my writing #nobody look at me pt 2

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margaetyrell · 8 months

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okay so. my therapist suggested i should write down my feelings, let people get to know me etc cause that can be helpful. even if every time i try i regret it bc the last thing you probably want to do is read something upsetting. anyways. i tried my best to make the most personal post ever in a way that’s somewhat entertaining, and i’m forcing myself to post it without deleting it afterwards. it’s under the cut so you can avoid it and this is just to lyk in case it seems random, bc although it’s my blog i’m anxious about that.

something curious about me, lacking any interest, is that i’m always the second character in the film. the friend of, the girlfriend of, the sister of. it’s like my entire purpose in this life is to be a complement to others. to please others. to be the hand, the shadow. the shoulder to cry on, the missing part of their puzzles, the voice whispering in their ears. sometimes i’m just a supporting character and other times i take on the role of the second, who is so close to the main character that it almost feels like the story is about the two of us. but it’s not. truth is that as an individual i cannot make it, i am incomplete. i’m not the hero, i’m the voice within. i’m not the soldier in battle, but the nurse who takes care of the bruises, the one who stands still. i wasn’t made to stand out. i’m never just me.

and that’s something i’ve learned to accept. but what happens when the helper can no longer help? what if they are helpless, broken or defeated. what is their meaning if they are not able to do the only thing that is required of them? they are completely useless. even worse, inconvenient. their existence becomes an extra weight too heavy and nothing worth carrying. it only adds more mess to the chaos and for what. nobody cares about the soul behind the purpose, that’s not what selfless helpers are known for. they simply cannot switch roles. all that matters is that they are able to complete their task, so they can help you move on.

don’t get me wrong, i love helping people. it makes me feel special when it works and i’ve met many interesting friends along the way, i’m honoured to be a chapter in the story of their lives. but i guess what i’m trying to say is that sometimes i wish i was more. not more beautiful, or more intelligent, or more popular. just... more. that i was living a life where i was someone else, even for a moment. the hero, the artist, the ill. the one who is seen. and yes, i’d give absolutely anything to be in my brother’s position for him to stop suffering. not to be notised, but to really fulfill a purpose and make my help worthwhile. because the hardest thing for me to face is the deadly truth that sometimes in life, helpers cannot fight fate. they do not have the power to change it, to heal it. the hardest thing is that in reality, when i’m on my own, i’m just not enough.

#why do i even need to warn you about personal posts on personal blogs from tumblr dot com. see lol that’s what i meant #sorry i’m not used to it. now time to keep the promise and let it die along with the absolute nonsense of this site #pt

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cosette141 · 2 years

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Lost and Found (OUAT CS fanfic) | Chapter Five

Fandom: Once Upon A Time

Author: cosette141

Words: 7k (this chapter) | 32k+ total (so far)

Summary: (Begin Again sequel) Emma had felt lost nearly her whole life, and Killian had lost everything he’d ever found. That is, until they found each other. With the Crocodile dead and Cora turned good, it seems happy endings have returned. However, new crises arise, threatening the budding family between them and Henry. But this is a family that always finds each other… and they have yet to fail. CS, Anti-Neal

AO3: ch1 | ch5 (this one)

big thanks to @sotangledupinit for reading this over for me! <3

Chapter 5 (under the cut!)

Peter Pan fixed a glare on the Lost Boys surrounding him.

He'd felt the weakening of his magic begin nearly a year ago. But as of late, it's gotten worse and worse.

And he knew it wasn't his magic, per say.

It was him.

Losing his magic was just a symptom.

Fusing back with his Shadow had helped marginally, but even that strength had waned. They hadn't had a new Lost Boy in ages, but Pan didn't care about Lost Boys anymore; he was bloody dying, and if he didn't get a heart, one powerful enough to save him, someone who has pushed off death more than anyone else in existence, nothing would.

He'd heard about the Savior from some of the mermaids—spies, really—and not only was she a Savior, she'd broken the Dark Curse with her belief. Belief, and True Love's Kiss, but that belief was what he needed.

Long ago, back when he first became Peter Pan, eternal life came with the threat of losing it, and needing to one day find the heart of the Truest Believer.

That day, has come.

He knew a mortal patsy would be no match for the Savior's magic, she needed to come here willingly. So when he learned she loved only one person—her son—his plan became clear.

What he hadn't expected was for Hook to return.

In the boy's place, no less.

Hell, back when Hook was in Neverland, he'd traded a boy for his own protection.

Even more, the idea that Hook had some sort of connection to this Savior, strong enough to lead her here after him, was curious.

Not curious enough to Pan to care much, but that meant that he now had a card to play.

The magic of a portal opening on Neverland was impossible to miss, so he knew she was here.

Where exactly on the island she was, was something entirely different.

Though the Savior was here, his magic was too faded. When he was once so intune with the island, he was essentially now blind to anything his eyes couldn't see. If only he hadn't already used up the pixie dust he's collected.

But Neverland was a land that was difficult to leave. So, essentially, a hostage in his back pocket or not, the Savior was trapped here. He would find her at some point. It was just a matter of time.

Time, however, that he was running out of.

"He's trapped," said a voice, as Felix walked through the trees. "Hook won't be going anywhere."

Had Pan been able to put a layer of magic on that cage, he'd be more confident in that. But Pan knew Hook; he was mortal and had no magic of any kind—not even a weapon, now—but he was irritatingly resourceful. So, leaving the pirate weak was for the best. The magic Pan had used to heal him—mostly heal him, anyway—nearly drained all of his strength. The moment Hook fell, Pan nearly did himself.

He's getting worse.

He needs that heart now.

So, he snapped up his eyes to the waiting Boys, eyes passing over Felix before the rest, the only one of them who knew the extent of his weakness, and Pan barked, "Find me the Savior. Now." But before they moved, added, "I need her alive. Her condition is of less concern."

After a half a second hesitation, the Boys gave a determined nod, readying weapons and split up, dispersing into the woodland.

-.-.-.-.

He's alive.

The two words have been something of a mantra in Emma's head with every footstep. It was a hope. A wish.

They'd been walking for what felt like hours. Neal was leading them, Emma somewhat behind him, and David and Mary Margaret a few paces behind her. The four of them traveled in relative silence, Neal being the only one speaking, warning them about what not to touch, and what really not to touch.

They'd not ventured inland yet, as Neal had theorized that the portal that took Killian would have probably let out on the beach. So, they followed the beach, the water unnaturally still beside them. Emma found her gaze wandering to it more than once, swearing she could see something move underneath it, and she was suddenly glad she didn't take up her prior theory that she could handle a mermaid.

The time on the island only served to make Emma's skin crawl, wondering how Killian spent centuries here and still managed to stay sane. Or Neal, for that matter, which was something she hadn't considered until now. The fact that Neal had spent hundreds of years here before meeting her was something she couldn't quite grasp, either.

Somewhere along the way, Emma had taken Killian's hook out of her pocket, her left hand curling around the steel. And it seemed to settle some of her nerves, like despite the coldness of the steel, it sent a warmth into her, something that made her feel like they were going to find him.

Something like hope.

But that didn't quite erase the panic sitting in her chest, twisting around her heart.

She'd relax when she was safely back in his embrace.

And he in hers.

Emma was so wrapped up in her thoughts, she nearly ran into Neal's back, who'd stopped.

"What—" began Emma, breaking the silence, when she saw Neal tense, as if he saw something.

But Emma's eyes looked over his shoulder, down a ways on the beach.

And there, was the outline of a body, silhouette black against the sand.

Unmoving.

So, unnaturally still.

Emma's breath caught with a sharp gasp.

"Emma—" began Neal suddenly, voice just as tight as her throat felt, and he moved almost to block her from the sight.

But Emma was already running, lungs burning because she couldn't breathe.

Killian.

Oh, god, Killian—

But as she got closer, she could make out the figure lying in the sand.

It wasn't Killian.

Emma nearly collapsed with relief.

She stopped, catching her breath, staring down at Greg Mendel.

He was lying on his back, an arrow in his chest, eyes shut, body still. He was more than dead.

Another breath released with relief at Emma's side, and she felt more than saw Mary Margaret and David staring down at him.

"Greg Mendel?" breathed David, bending down to look at the arrow in his chest, swallowing hard.

"This was the guy who did it?" asked Neal, to Mary Margaret's nod. Neal squinted toward the moon, then back to the beach. "The portal dropped them here then."

"And then someone killed him?" commented David.

"But if they both fell through… where's Killian?" asked Mary Margaret hollowly.

The entire rest of the beach was bare.

But Emma was numbly walking around Greg's body, to the sand that was dark with what could have passed as dampness from water in the darkness.

The sand was displaced, as if from an impact.

Emma slowly bent down, picking up some of the sand, lifting it to the light of the unnaturally full moon.

The sand was dry.

It wasn't wet, it was stained.

"He was here." she choked out tightly.

Soft footsteps approached her. "Is that blood?" asked David.

"He was here," was all she could say, feeling her heart pick up. She dropped the sand, eyes snapping up to the sand, the surrounding area. She felt the bail bondswoman in her, the sheriff attempt to gain control.

But she's never needed to look for clues and evidence amongst panic squeezing the air out of her chest, because where was he?

"Look."

Mary Margaret was a few paces away, bending at the sand. She looked at Emma. "Footsteps," she said, getsuring to what were clearly several sets of footprints in the sand. "And…" She swallowed, eyes dropping to the other marks in the sand.

But Emma saw what she did, feeling her chest burn. She walked over to her, staring at the markings in the dirt. "Someone was dragged," she whispered. That panic was making it harder and harder to breathe.

Neal stood from where he'd bent next to Greg's body, eyes on the arrow in the man's chest. "This arrow is from a Lost Boy."

"So…" David broke the tense silence.

"Pan found him." confirmed Neal gravelly.

Emma's breath hitched.

At it, Mary Margaret's hand reflexively moved toward Emma's shoulder, before stopping an inch away, pulling it back, like she wasn't sure if her attempt at comfort was welcomed or not.

Emma barely noticed.

She was staring at the dirt where Killian had been.

Killian was taken.

By the one person who hated him most.

And she still didn't know if he was even still…

Her eyes burned.

"Trust me, love."

Emma took a shaking breath.

Hope.

"They took him," said Emma, voice unsteady as she lifted her burning gaze to Neal. "If he was…" Her voice caught, but she forced out, "Or if they wanted to k-kill him, they would have just left him here, too." Her gaze drilled into Neal's. "Right?"

Neal took a breath, seeming to read every unhinged emotion in her eyes. Slowly, he nodded. "I wouldn't be surprised if Pan wanted to have a… word with Hook before he… you know."

Emma couldn't stop the flinch that time.

And, again, she expected Killian's fingers to find hers.

But they didn't.

And his absence only became more and more hollow and cold.

Emma took a shuddering breath, and tried to keep herself together.

"Pan's twisted as all hell," said Neal, "but he also likes his games. I wouldn't put it past him."

Emma took another breath, feeling the concerned gazes of David and Mary Margaret on her. She reached for some of that broken armor, holding onto hope as hard as she could. "Where would he take Killian?" she asked numbly.

Neal hesitated with a wince, like he knew where Emma was going with the question, and it was the utter last thing he wanted to do. He seemed to be just as, if not more, afraid of Pan than he had been of his own father. But after a few seconds, he relented: "Probably his camp; sort of like his headquarters on the island."

"Do you know how to get there?" asked Emma instantly, unable to keep the desperation out of her voice.

With even more reluctance, Neal shut his eyes before saying, "Just to clarify, you're talking about going up against Pan, someone who has magic—"

"Well, so do I," snapped Emma, though her feelings did not match the confidence her words held, as her control on her magic was practically nonexistent. But her magic had helped her save Killian from Cora; it was bound to help her against Pan, too.

That made Neal's brows shoot up. "You have magic?"

"It's part of the whole Savior, breaking-the-curse thing," muttered Emma.

Neal shook himself, like that was impossible to grasp. "Even so, Pan is—"

"You came here to help me save Killian," Emma cut in sharply. "If you don't want to face Pan like you didn't want to face your father—" Neal flinched. "—then just tell me how to get there, and I'll save Killian myself."

"No, you won't," said David firmly. "Emma, we're with you every step of the way. We agreed to save Hook, no matter the risk."

"We defeated Regina and Cora," said Mary Margaret just as firmly, meeting Emma's eyes. "We can defeat Pan, too."

Three sets of eyes turned to Neal, who let out a heavy sigh. But, he nodded. "Pan's camp is a ways away from here," he began, words so reluctant, it was like they were carved in stone. "Let's go."

Neal drew his cutlass, heading into the trees with another heavy sigh. Emma followed behind him, Mary Margaret and David behind her, and the four of them started their way into the heart of the island.

Emma kept one hand on the hilt of Killian's sword, determination and fear battling fiercely in her chest.

I'm coming, Killian.

-.-.-.-.

What must have been hours—but felt like days—had passed with the four of them, Emma, Neal, Mary Margaret and David, venturing further and further inland.

As they did, the vegetation became thicker and fuller, requiring Neal to cut them a path. Wordlessly, David had joined him at some point, when it was clear that it was no longer a one-person job.

The island grew even more silent the more they walked, and the hair on the back of Emma's neck had risen. There was no change at all in the sky, though Neal was using glimpses of it to keep track of where he was, in a way that Emma had seen both Killian and Henry do while sailing. The curiosity of how Neal and Killian knew each other was still somewhere inside her, but far too buried beneath fear to even bother wondering.

The more they were on the island, the worse Emma felt. At first she'd thought it was the panic in her chest, her worry for Killian, which certainly made her feel just short of crumbling, but there was something else. Something in the air that felt suffocating in a different way. It took her a while to place it, and when she did, a chill swept down her spine.

It felt lonely.

She hasn't felt this kind of lonely in ages. Not since the foster homes.

It was the distinct feeling of vulnerability and helplessness. Of… emptiness.

"I spent many years in Neverland, land of the lost and abandoned. The Lost Boys shared the same look in their eyes; the look you get when you've been left alone."

Killian's words from the Beanstalk flitted through her mind, and suddenly Emma's eyes burned, only missing him more. Only feeling more alone, despite the company she was in. Their company specifically made her feel even more alone; they were the three people who have hurt her more than anyone else in her life.

They were the three people who had her, and gave her away.

Emma tried her damn hardest to keep the emotions from prickling hotly at her eyes, and held onto that hope like it was a lifeline.

The four of them traveled in near-silence. Mary Margaret had slowly come up to Emma's side, glancing at her every couple of minutes. Emma could feel her desire to say something, but she didn't.

"No!"

Emma and Mary Margaret both stopped abruptly at Neal's low outburst, both their hands reaching for weapons.

But Neal had grabbed David's wrist, pulling his arm sharply back before David could chop through bushes laced with thorns.

David jerked against Neal's grip, but Neal pulled him back harder. "No," he repeated, harsher, and David yanked his wrist out of the man's grip, but didn't try to cut through again.

"I think I can handle some thorns," muttered David.

Neal bristled sharply at that. "It's not the thorns you need to worry about," hissed Neal. He gestured to it carefully. "It's the poison on them."

David, Emma and Mary Margaret carefully eyed the bushes, and Emma noted the black, ink-like liquid dripping from them.

"What is that?" asked Emma.

"It's called Dreamshade," said Neal, still glaring at David. "If that gets into your bloodstream, you're as good as dead." David glared back, but moved a step back from the bushes.

Without waiting for a response, Neal started cutting a path a safe distance from the Dreamshade. After a moment's hesitation, David joined him, and Emma and Mary Margaret followed behind.

"Are we close?" asked Emma.

"Yeah," said Neal, eyes warily scanning the darkness as he cut through. "Which is weird."

Emma's brows kneaded. "Why is that weird?"

"Because," said Neal, slicing through another plant. "We shouldn't have even been able to get this far inland without encountering a Lost Boy, or Pan himself." Neal paused for a second with his own musing, turning toward her. "And I can't help wondering why he would need to get some random guy to bring, um, Henry," he stumbled a little over the name with uncertainty, but rushed past it— "Pan sends his Shadow to kidnap kids. Something's… weird."

The mention of Henry sent a chill down Emma's spine, remembering how close she was to losing him.

But she shook it off, reminding herself he's safe, and tried to stay focused. "So, Pan's a lazy brat." she muttered.

Neal let out a breath, looking unconvinced, but continued cutting through the vegetation with David. After just a few swipes of their swords, the trees thinned out and opened into a clearing. Neal held back, breathing out, saying, "This is where his camp is."

Emma and Mary Margaret both drew their own weapons, and Emma felt herself hold her breath.

They stepped out, slow and careful, Emma's muscles taut with tension.

Except…

It was completely bare.

No one and nothing was in the clearing.

Neal stopped, lowering his sword. "This is where it was," he stressed, turning to them. "I swear—" He shut his eyes. "He must have moved it."

Emma felt her eyes burn. "You mean," she said slowly, "that you have no idea where his camp is now? You have no idea where he has Killian?"

"I haven't been here in a long time, and I've only seen his camp once!" Neal shot back. "I have no idea how often he moves it!"

Despair and hopelessness suddenly felt suffocating.

Emma stared at the emptiness of the area, feeling like it reflected every hope she had.

They had no idea, no idea, where to find Killian.

Killian, who was hurt, bleeding, dying—

"Trust me, love."

"I'm a survivor."

Emma shut her eyes at the echo of his voice, her fingers grasping the hilt of Killian's sword, her hope and hopelessness fighting each other to the death. Feeling every urge to shatter.

"Then we keep looking," said Emma firmly, opening her eyes, pushing the burning away as her hope pulled just barely ahead of the despair squeezing her heart.

She started forward, using Killian's sword to cut through the vegetation, creating a new path, feeling the others follow behind her.

And she wasn't going to stop until she found him.

-.-.-.-.

What must have been hours later of aching legs, feet and Emma's waning hope, the four of them had traveled to three other clearings where Neal had a hunch Pan would be, and every single one was bare.

Emma's eyes were burning again, with fear, hopelessness and exhaustion.

"We'll find—" began David, his tired mantra of we'll find him, but the words became emptier and emptier every time he said them to each dead end.

"We've been searching for hours," snapped Emma, voice rough with fear.

"I'm trying," began Neal, voice a little pained, and Emma huffed an anxious breath.

"I know," she said, because he was, and she could see his shoulders sag with every dead end.

"Emma," said Mary Margaret, voice tired but no less hopeful. "We'll—" But Neal suddenly hissed a sharp, "Shh!"

But Emma felt it, too.

The air became suddenly more still.

Tense.

They were being watched.

Both Mary Margaret and David seemed to feel it, too. The four of them scanned the darkness, and Emma slowly, silently drew Killian's sword. Mary Margaret swiftly grabbed an arrow from her quiver.

They were pin-silent for another long moment.

Until, something whistled through the air.

Neal reacted instantly, swiping his blade with a sharp reflex, cutting down an arrow from the air. "Lost Boys!" he hissed. "Their arrows are laced with Dreamshade; be careful—" he managed to get out before the Boy who had shot the arrow made himself visible, jumping through the trees. It struck Emma in an instant that the boy didn't look older than Henry.

"Emma, behind you!"

Emma whirled around at Neal's shout, seeing a different Lost Boy running at her, cutlass swinging toward her. She quickly jerked up Killian's sword to clash against the blade, her heart jumping into her throat. This Boy looked older than the first one, which certainly helped the moral pause of attacking what looked like a child.

Emma shoved hard, forcing the Boy to shift back, but he grinned, clearly finding this as sport. He swung the sword toward her feet, as if to trip her, and Emma barely jumped back before it sliced through her leg. The Boy's cutlass scraped the dirt, and Emma took the chance to swing Killian's sword at him, making him stumble back from the close call.

Encouraged, Emma swung it again with a growl, making the Boy shift back easily to avoid it, laughing at her, but her aim wasn't for his head, like he'd thought. Instead, it was for his hand, where he held his cutlass. He hissed as Emma struck his blade inches from his fingers, knocking it from his grip.

Apparently she was destined to win all swordfights by taking advantage of cockiness, then.

The Boy stared in shock at his cutlass in the dirt, but before he could grab it, Emma twisted Killian's sword in her grip, shoving the Boy harshly into the tree behind him, the blade under his chin.

"Where's Hook? Where is he?!" she demanded, panic and desperation fueling the angry words.

But the Boy just stared back at her, staring at the blade, then her, clearly not going to talk, but also clearly scared. Emma could feel how fast his heart was beating where her hand was pinning his chest into the tree. He stared at her in silence, eyes guarded by walls just as thick and strong as her were.

"They share the same look in their eyes; the look you get when you've been left alone."

Even amidst the clash of swords from the others, Emma could hear her own heart hammering in her head.

She slowly removed the sword from his throat.

The Boy sighed in relief, before Emma felt his muscles tense in preparation to attack.

He didn't get close.

She punched him, hard, watching him hit the dirt, unconscious.

Emma turned to help the others, who were fighting a Lost Boy of their own, yet seemed to be holding their own. However, before she could, a small but strong hand grabbed the back of her shirt, yanking her backward, pulling her into the trees.

Emma stumbled, a scream stuck in her throat, trying to regain her balance and shake off the grip as the arm pulled her. She gritted her teeth, twisting, swinging her sword toward—

"Wait, stop! Please!"

The youthfulness and the panic in the voice made Emma freeze, seeing a Lost Boy who looked even younger than Henry. Long dark hair that any parent would be brushing out of his eyes hung over his forehead, his eyes wide and his hands held out in front of him in surrender. "I want to help!"

Emma went rigid, Killian's sword held firmly in front of her. "What?"

"You're—you're looking for the pirate, right?" he stammered out. "Captain Hook?"

Emma's heart lurched. "Yeah," she found herself breathing.

"I know where he is," said the Boy, a little smile at his lips. "I can take you to him!"

Hope flared within her.

They had no idea where to look for Killian now, and his life was trickling away, second by second.

But Emma drilled her gaze into the Boy's, desperate hope held at bay, but her superpower remained silent. He did know where Killian was, and fully intended to bring her to him.

"He's right over here!" he shouted, turning and running further into the trees. "Hurry, before the other Boys see!"

Killian.

"Wait," called Emma, looking back toward the others. "Kid, wait—"

But the Boy didn't wait, running fast in the other direction.

Panic and desperation tightened her chest, making her heart pound.

With a wince, Emma made up her mind, tightened her grip around the hilt of Killian's sword, and ran after him, trying not to lose the Boy in the mass of leaves and darkness. The Boy was small and fast, looking back a few times to make sure she was following him, and she barely avoided the twigs and branches that scraped her face.

Emma finally found the Boy had come to a stop, and Emma looked wildly around. "Where is he?!" she breathed.

But… this area was just as bare as the last.

"I'm sorry, Savior."

Emma froze.

Instinct had her hand jerk Killian's sword in front of her, heart pounding as the Boy suddenly had a far less compassionate look in his eyes.

But before she could attack, the Boy swiftly pulled what looked like a straw out of his pocket, lifting it to his lips, making Emma recognize it as a blowdart half a second before he shot it.

Emma's eyes screwed shut, panic rushing through her—

—but suddenly, Emma felt a blast of warmth shoot through her body.

Her eyes snapped open, seeing a white-glow of her magic erupt like a shield in front of her. The dart struck it, an inch from her chest, and ricocheted, sending it straight into the Boy's shoulder.

He slumped to the ground, unconscious before he hit the ground.

Emma stared in shock as the glow shimmered out of the air, her body shaking with fear and adrenaline and magic.

She breathed hard, stumbling back, left hand settling over her pounding heart.

She shut her eyes, kicking herself.

Her superpower hadn't been wrong.

The Boy did know where Killian was, and was going to bring her to him.

Just not to save him.

But why the hell would he try to take her, rather than kill her?

Emma shook off the questions.

Still trembling from the incredibly close call, Emma suddenly remembered the others.

She ran back the way she came, hoping she hasn't been gone too long. The last thing she needed was to worry them and divert their attention from finding Killian.

But after what felt like the amount of time she'd chased the Boy, and the exact direction she'd come from…

…the clearing was nowhere in view.

Emma stopped, turning in a circle, trying to see through the dark trees for the clearing, trying to listen for the voices of the others.

But all she could see was trees, and all she could hear was silence.

Her heart picking up, she tentatively called, "Mary Margaret?" She started running again, feeling a horrible sense of fear creeping up her spine. "David?" she called, louder. "Neal?"

Nothing.

She stopped again, unable to hide the panic from her voice. "David?!"

Her voice echoed into the silence.

Emma felt her breath hitch.

"No, no, no," she whispered.

She could not be lost.

God, how could she have been so stupid?!

"Mary Margaret! David!" Emma tried again, voice cracking, a tear burning down her cheek because she wasn't scared anymore, she was terrified.

"Killian," whispered Emma, another tear burning down her cheek.

But still, no one replied.

She was alone.

And she was lost.

-.-.-.

Mary Margaret took down the last Lost Boy with an arrow to the chest, who had nearly taken off David's head. She let out a breath in relief, and David shot her a relieved look of thanks.

Neal hadn't understated just how savage the Boys were; Mary Margaret had fought less capable soldiers. The past several minutes were caught in a flurry of flying arrows and blades.

"Was that the last one?" asked David, out of breath, sword still branded in front of him. The Boys that attacked were all either downed or had fled.

"Yeah, I think so," said Neal in a low, breathless voice.

But Mary Margaret, spinning in a wild circle as she scanned the clearing, didn't share in their relief. "Where's Emma?" she asked, voice tight and pained, because the clearing was empty except for them.

Neal and David suddenly tensed, seeing the clearing as bare as she did.

"She…" began David hollowly. "I saw her fighting one of the Lost Boys, and then…"

"She took him down," agreed Neal, running to the downed Lost Boy on the other side of the clearing, where Mary Margaret had seen the flash of Emma's hair before a Lost Boy had attacked Mary Margaret.

The Boy was lying in the dirt, unconscious, a blackening bruise over his temple.

"Emma!" cried Mary Margaret, running into the trees behind the Boy, wildly whipping her head around, feeling panic consume her. She tried to catch the blond of Emma's hair, but there was nothing in the trees.

"Emma!" called David at her other side.

"Emma!" cried Neal.

But there was no response to their shouts, and Mary Margaret exchanged a panicked look with David.

"Split up!" said Mary Margaret, running in one direction, marking trees as she went, seeing David and Neal run in opposite directions, making their own markings. The silence of the area was broken with shouts of Emma's name, but still, no sign of her.

Mary Maragaret stopped, panic tightening her chest so much it was hard to breathe. "Emma!"

But still, nothing.

She turned around, heading back to the clearing, following the path she made for herself, begging that David or Neal found her.

But by the time she broke back through the trees and into the clearing, David and Neal were already there, panting, and looking just as desperately to her, like they'd hoped she'd be the one to have found Emma.

"Where is she?" breathed Mary Margaret, eyes burning. "David—"

"None of us saw what happened to her?!" exclaimed David, one of the few times Mary Margaret has seen him overwhelmed with panic. "She couldn't have just disappeared!"

"Did one of them take her?" breathed Mary Margaret, feeling her fear build.

"They have no reason to take her," said Neal exasperatedly. "They were trying to kill all of us! If she was hurt, she wouldn't have evaporated into thin air," he said heavily, eyeing them both. He hesitated, something sad and dark in his eyes. "She might not have been forced to leave." he said in a low, pained voice.

Mary Margaret felt cold shoot down her spine. "What?"

"She's pissed at all of us," said Neal. "She didn't want any of us to come with her in the first place, and my only idea of where to find Hook didn't work."

"What the hell are you trying to say?" snapped David. "That she left us?"

"I'm just saying that's what it looks like," said Neal.

"Yeah," David shot back, "doesn't surprise me that your first idea is that she up and left, because that's all you—!"

"Yes, I left her!" exploded Neal. "Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I regret that with every cell in my body? Why the hell do you think I'm here!?" Rawness broke into his words. "I made a mistake. And if I could go back and change it, I would. But I can't. And neither can you," he snapped, making Mary Margaret flinch and David tense. Silence spread for a moment before Neal took a breath, as if an attempt to steady himself, and said, "I'm just saying that there's no sign of a struggle. And… we can't blame her if she decided to go on her own to find the one person who didn't leave her."

Guilt that has been building more and more in Mary Margaret's chest felt like it was choking her. She thought her biggest regret of her life was telling Regina's secret; turning Regina into the person, the evil Queen, she became.

But now…

Now, she'd give everything to have made a different choice with Emma.

"You have no idea what I've been through! None of you do!"

Mary Margaret felt her eyes burn.

She and David had hated Neal for what he did to her, and though she still did, both he and Emma were right.

She and David left her, too.

And their reasons weren't much better.

But she tried to shake off the emotions—they needed to find her.

She scanned expert eyes over where Emma had been.

Yet… Neal was right; there was no sign of struggle.

But Mary Margaret knew Emma. At least, she knew the Emma she'd become friends with. She didn't know her daughter, not yet, but she knew her friend.

She shook her head. "No." she said firmly, eyes still burning. "Emma's smart; she wouldn't go off on her own, not without backup. No matter… no matter how she was feeling about us," she whispered. "That's why she accepted our help in the first place." She looked at David, confidence wavering. "...Right?"

David hesitated for a moment, looking like his mind was spinning over the same guilt and fear as hers. "I don't know," he admitted. He huffed a breath. "But I don't care how she disappeared; we're going to find her."

"We better," added Neal gravelly, "before a Lost Boy, or Pan himself does."

The fear that rushed through Mary Margaret's body felt like ice.

The three of them started through the woodland, three pairs of eyes scanning the trees for a flash of blonde.

"You found us."

Emma had waited for them to find her, her whole life.

Well, it was their turn, now.

It was their turn for a lot of things.

And Mary Margaret was not going to let her down again.

-.-.-.

Killian collapsed against the side of the cage for what felt like the tenth time after hours—days, for all he knew—of fighting the bloody cage. Because damn it, he needed his hook.

Most of the wall he'd been working on was cracked and weakened, but hell, so was he. He shut his eyes, wondering how long he's even been here. He was quickly remembering just how disorienting this island was, the forever night, the way time literally stood still. It could have been hours or days. It didn't help that the effects of his blood loss were not particularly healed from Pan's magic. He was bloody exhausted.

But one more thought of Emma out there, and Killian was forcing himself back to his feet.

Killian alternated slamming the heel of his boot and his shoulder into the weak spot of the cage, feeling it weaken more and more with every blow. He was sore and aching and a growl tore from him at a particular hard strike, but just as he rammed his shoulder into it…

…It broke.

The force of his hit had Killian collapsing hard to the dirt, swallowing the groan at the impact.

But he didn't bloody care.

His eyes snapped open, and he felt a tired, shaky grin at his lips.

He was free.

Killian didn't waste a second.

He forced himself to his feet, moving to run toward the trees, only for his eyes to catch the glint of something off the moon.

With a startled yelp, Killian threw himself backward, just as the swipe of a blade nearly took off his head.

The tip of the blade nicked his cheek, sending him stumbling back into the trunk of a tree, the cut stinging sharply. Killian breathed hard, snapping his head around, seeing someone he nearly hated as much as he hated Pan himself.

Felix.

Of bloody course they didn't leave him unsupervised.

The Lost Boy sneered at him, his blade held out in front of him as he grinned. "You're getting soft in your old age, Captain." With a growl, he swung the blade again, this time at his chest, and Killian dove quickly out of the way, hearing the sickening crunch of Felix's blade striking the trunk of the tree he'd just been leaning against.

Killian picked himself up, eyes scanning the area for a weapon, something, because he was bloody one-handed and weaponless.

But the cutlass was swinging at his throat again, and Killian stumbled back, his reflexes slowed with his exhaustion, barely avoiding the blade. Felix grinned, swiping the blade at him again, and with a hammering heart, Killian managed to catch the boy's wrist, using every ounce of his strength to hold him back. But one hand wasn't enough, damn it all, he needed his hook, and Felix overpowered him, shoving him to the ground. Killian kept a desperate grip on the boy's wrist, his arm shaking with effort as the blade hovered inches from his throat.

Bloody hell, he was not letting this brat kill him.

Nothing and no one—bloody no one—was going to keep him from getting back to Emma.

"Not so tough without the hook, are you?" sneered Felix, shoving harder, making Killian's arm shake harder with the effort, his left arm useless at his other side.

Or was it?

In one sharp movement, Killian jerked his right hand, as well as Felix's two hands on the blade, an inch to the side, throwing the boy slightly off balance.

And then, he used every ounce of his strength to strike Felix in the face with his left arm.

His left arm was far weaker than his right, especially without the hook, but he didn't need the hit to knock him out; he needed it to surprise him, and it did exactly that. Felix wasn't expecting a bloody thing from Killian's left arm.

Felix's head snapped back in surprise, his grip on the blade weakening enough for Killian's hand to twist Felix's wrist sharply until he dropped it with a cry, and ram his knee hard into Felix's midsection.

Felix fell to the ground, hands grabbing at his ribs, and Killian jerked off the ground, grabbing the discarded cutlass. He made it to his feet by the time Felix got back to his knees, and Killian swiped the blade under Felix's chin, making the boy's eyes snap open with shock and rage.

Breathing hard, Killian held him at swordpoint, and Felix glared at him.

He'd thought of killing this particular Lost Boy many times before.

But something in him, something that changed that day in New York, whispered that he didn't want to be the coldblooded killer he used to be anymore.

So, slowly, he lowered the blade.

Felix watched the blade lower with raised brows. Then, he lifted his gaze to Killian. "Coward," he hissed.

But Killian smiled, and slammed the hilt of the weapon into the side of Felix's head.

The boy slumped to the ground, unconscious.

"That felt bloody good," he muttered. Killian held his breath, listening and scanning the area for any other Lost Boys. But everything was still and silent. And if Pan left Felix, his best Lost Boy, Pan assumed he'd be enough to handle a weaponless, one-handed pirate.

Except, Pan happened to underestimate just how badly Killian needed to return to Emma.

Killian removed the scabbard from across Felix's chest and kept the cutlass, glad to have a weapon. He then ran into the trees, away from Pan's camp, as fast as he could.

I'm coming, Emma.

-.-.-.

Emma had no idea how long she'd been trying to find her way back to the clearing. It was terrifyingly clear that she was more than lost. There was still nothing but trees and silence.

She stopped to catch her breath, heart pounding from exertion and fear. The squeak of a bug sounded by her ear, making her flinch violently, hand tightening around the hilt of his sword.

And she was suddenly flashing back to the years she spent homeless, terrified of anything that moved, afraid to sleep, afraid of everything—

Emma started running again, desperation moving her legs, calling their names until her voice was hoarse.

But still, no response.

No clearing.

No one.

Emma stumbled to a stop, feeling the hopelessness, the loneliness.

She hasn't felt this lost since before she came to Storybrooke.

Since the foster homes.

Since Neal left her.

She sank down to the base of a tree, her hands shaking, panic filling her.

What if she never found anyone?

"I never want to see you again."

The words to Mary Margaret and David had been fueled with fear and hurt and anger—

But now…

She's lost Killian and her family.

Her heart pounded faster, feeling completely unraveled, feeling broken.

Her trembling fingers reached desperately for Killian's hook, like a reflex.

She needed him.

She grasped the metal tightly, eyes shutting against the onslaught of fear.

And Killian's hook did the same thing it's done every time she'd held it; it filled her with a warmth that spread through her, filling her with this hope, this—

Emma's eyes snapped open.

Warmth.

It wasn't metaphorical.

And it wasn't warmth.

She stared at the hook, eyes widening.

Every time she'd held it, she hadn't looked at it.

And all this time, she hadn't linked that warmth to what it really was.

It was her magic.

And there, she could see the faint white glow around the steel as it radiated her power.

That warmth had been faint when she held his hook on his ship.

She'd started to feel it more on the beach.

And as they walked through the trees, it got stronger—

Because she was getting closer to him.

Emma had read something in Henry's storybook, a story about her parents. Rumplestiltskin had used his magic to enchant their wedding ring, and gave it to Charming; it would glow brighter the closer he got to her.

If it was glowing, that had to mean he was still alive.

And by just how much it was glowing, that meant she was close.

A shaky smile slipped over Emma's face.

Her magic had somehow done it all on its own.

She shot to her feet, one hand still tightly holding Killian's sword, her other, his hook.

She tried to embrace that warmth, that magic inside her, and suddenly it felt like she could understand it even more. She followed it as it gently nudged her direction, like following a compass.

Hope was as desperate as her panic.

She was going to find him.

She was going to save him.

"I'll find you, Killian," she breathed, running faster as her magic grew stronger.

I will always find you.

tag list: @kmomof4 @klynn-stormz @stahlop @ilovemesomekillianjones @hookmecaptain @tiganasummertree @jadehowlettthewolf @jonesfandomfanatic @anmylica @pirateprincessofpizza @stahlop @snowbellewells @eddisfargo @motherkatereloyshipper @confessionsofthemword @killian-whump

#captain swan #captain swan ff #cs ff #captain swan fanfic #captain swan fanfiction #anti neal #anti neal cassidy #emma and hook #emma and killian #emma swan #killian jones #captain hook #neverland #lost and found #begin again #begin again sequel #cosette141 #cosette141 ffn

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talenlee · 1 year

Text

CoX: Hext and Unburning

Time to time, I write up an explication of characters I’ve played in RPGs or made for my own purpose. This is an exercise in character building and creative writing.

“Is that her?”

“Unburning?”

“Yeah, the former sidekick of-“

“You know, don’t call her that.”

“But she was, until the incident,”

“Don’t mention that.”

“Why, what’s the worst that-“

“You know, maybe just stop talking.”

She’s not broken. She’s not wrong. She’s just not like you. Unburning is an angry young woman, in a way that sentence simply could not capture. Some heroes struggle to keep their power under control, and hers is the power of fire that burns as rage – where she becomes more angry, she becomes more powerful… and she recognises that seductive risk.

So, she keeps herself withdrawn. Careful. Quiet.

She knows when she’ll need to be loud.

“Oh, suuuure, it used to be all ‘poison apple’ and ‘cursed to be a frog’ but y’all don’t seem to remember when the time came to solve plagues and poxes, it was the witches that did that, jeeze. No respect.”

Hext. Just Hext. Once, a sidekick, now out on her own, she goes now by just Hext. She’s got that sly, not-quite-impressed college girlboss feel, like she’s free from some form of oversight, except her life and education has featured oh-so-much worse than textbooks. Running around beating up bad guys in her early teens, she’s done with living in a shadow, learned her lessons, and her former mentor… well…

… yeah, none of that, not no more. Bored with that.

If you’ve dealt with either Hext or Unburning, they were probably showing up as part of a group, showing up with the Young Spartans to get some work done. Hext, the glittering sparkle-witch, with powers that let her do deals and pacts, throwing magic around in long chains, was probably moving around fast, doing support and protecting people, healing wounds, and confusing enemies with illusions and summoned horrors. By contrast, there’s Unburning, who serves as a raw powerhouse: She does fire, and she does more fire, and she does enough fire. Unburning does intense enough fire to create pressure waves around her, vaporising craters into the ground around her, blasting lines of hot fire that rip through things, unchaining an energy within her that needs to be carefully controlled.

Hext, Edie Nosurname, is more likely to be seen on her own, normally: She’s fond of calling herself a meddler. Her abilities, her type of magic, is very flexible and versatile, even if it requires a lot of presence of mind to use. The way she describes it, there’s some kind of consent exchange with it – when she makes someone into a frog, some part of her asks some part of that person if they want to be a frog, and the trick is finding what part of them thinks it’s better to be a frog.

(Often, she points out, it’s the stomach.)

Unburning, Brandy Whitlock, on her own is much more likely to be on her own, at home, in her room, in the dark, reading black books with white text, or watching anime, or keeping her feelings in check. Sometimes she comes out and hangs with her friends in the Young Spartans, but everyone knows if Brandy’s near that doesn’t mean she wants to be involved: It means she wants to be near, and you respect that.

Power-wise, the pair operate like a classical pair of smart and flexible and dumb and powerful. When Unburning gets going, almost all her powers are just some expression of ‘burn more,’ which means she largely shows up to superhero moments and ideally, never does anything. She’s there to be the violent backup, the damage that everyone else in the Young Spartans hopes to not need.

The Young Spartans are a supergroup of former sidekick characters. They’re people who achieved majority and separated themselves in one way or another from their mentored past. Imagine a group of Nightwings and Speedies and – yes, it was probably inspired by the Outsiders, but less bitter. Well, some of them are less bitter. Hext was originally the angel-themed sidekick of the ‘good witch’ heroine Holly Wyrd, and separated when Holly became a megachurch’s support heroine, Holy Wyrd. Unburning by comparison used to be the sidekick of a Salem witch heroine known as Ms Red, who was using her powers to siphone off her sidekick’s powers, for her own good.

Neither are particularly happy with their former mentors, and there’s a reason you shouldn’t bring up ‘sidekick’ as a term around the Young Spartans. It’s a sore topic that people would rather you not.

Mechanics

This is two very different characters, who have had a lot of different representations across multiple versions of the game. Originally, they were made to relate to a mechanical idea, that already existed and then swapped around to different builds, then the game shut down. Now, on Homecoming, Hext is a dark/dark controller, with

45% defense to smashing, lethal, and ranged attacks, not counting Fade, which is permanent.

200% global recharge, which includes permanent hasten

45 second recharge on Howling Twilight, possibly the most powerful power in either set

And you can see her build here.

Unburning is a fire/rad blaster, with

45% to smashing, lethal and energy, and 32% defense to ranged attacks

205% global recharge, which means a nuke every 31 seconds

and you can see her build here.

There is something here that needs special mention though! I am actually a bit annoyed by how these characters are represented in the game, because thanks to years of playing them and time playing them in textual forms, I have had a lot of refinement for the way the game represents them, and since the mechanics refers to the way these characters work in the game that lets me play them…

Hext should be fat.

Look, I don’t make fat characters. I don’t do a good job of it. But ‘I don’t do a good job of it’ isn’t a good reason to avoid doing more of it. And Hext contrasts with Unburning, who is wiry and threatening, and meant to have more of a threatening aura. Over time, enough time writing her, and enough time writing her with people who were good at encouraging me to try different things, I know full well that ‘fat’ isn’t a bad word, and ‘fat’ isn’t a bad thing for a hero to be…

And so, Hext should be fat.

In game, she doesn’t look it. She doesn’t look like a rounded chubby lady with tum to go with her boobs and her hips. And sure there are other things, like how her hair should be more sparkly and have different sheets of colour in it, like a rainbow, and her makeup should be glittery and excessive and tasteless. But more than that: She should be fat. The system I have for representing her isn’t good at that, and I am not good at that, and that’s every reason to be unsatisfied and to instead hold to that detail. She’s fat and she’s cool and she’s fun and she’s pretty.

She’s also queer as hell, but I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever shown a non-queer character off here. Both of them are queer. It’s true of them and the whole of the Young Spartans.

History

The history of these two characters stretches back quite a way. Like, an unnecessarily long way, in fact, and it’s hard to talk about it without sounding like I’m mad at someone. I mean, I was mad at someone but largely now I just avoid them because I don’t want to feel that way again.

First things first, these characters didn’t always have the names Hext and Unburning. Unburning used to be named Brand when she was on Virtue, and Hext used to be known as Hex Ed, hence her surprisingly archaic name of Edith (and going by ‘Eddy’). But even then, before there, these two characters had different names as well. One was called Conspyre, and he was a demon boy I made for a supergroup that was looking to make an Avengers-style arrangement, and the other was a spooky dangerous monster-man named Carceri. These characters were both created for RP spaces, to share with people, and then, after setting up their story and getting them in those spaces, they were abandoned by their roleplay communities.

And I mean conspicuously! Like, one SG wanted me to set up a thing and do some work for them (earning in-game currency for the group). The group then, without me, had a conversation and all moved their characters over to a different group until I left the group I was in, whereupon they moved back. It wasn’t something I was all that wild about, but it also happened to me a few times, with different people. I definitely feel like The Weird Kid in a social space, where people didn’t want to deal with me that much and I don’t think that was as much on the other people as much as me being unable to handle/pick up on social cues.

Oh wait hang on, one of them had to bail on talking to me because a player she was playing with didn’t like me, personally, and told her not to talk to me any more. That was probably someone being an asshole.

Anyway, this happened to me … fairly frequently. Make a character, level them, get them involved and developed, put in social infrastructure work like wiki pages and explainers and whatnot, and then the other person ghosted me. Often, I’d help level the other person’s character, too*!

Sometimes it was the same person! Multiple times! And the result was I had this gaggle of characters that I considered ‘orphans.’ And then, in a fit of pique one day, I realised the only thing keeping these characters the way they were was an attachment to other people, and a sulkiness, so I got these characters all to 50, then made a new small supergroup for storing them. It was a kind of retirement for these characters, but I also liked them a lot. It was kinda, at the time of Live, a sort of assertion: These characters are now off-limits for your bullshit, they’re fixed, they have their story, if you want to talk to them or deal with them, it’s on my terms now. Which sounds nonsense when I say it, like, surely that should have been there from the start for most characters. With that new mindset, I rebuilt all these orphans into new characters to make characters who had a vibe I like, built on ideas I liked, concepts that I wanted to see in the City of Heroes universe. If I had so many ideas about how Superheroes should be, I should put my money where my mouth was and stop being afraid of designing ‘too many girls.’

That’s when I made the Young Spartans.

And I went pretty hard on it.

oh dear this doesn’t look that good any more

I made a logo for them, something that stood apart from other factions. I gave the group a centralising theme, which is where I got the idea of the former sidekicks. I liked the idea of that kind of vibe, of the ‘free from parental control’ weirdness, I liked the idea of people who didn’t have a normal adolescence getting to discover themselves in their early twenties (for some reason) and also what it meant to find other people who had gone through similar traumas to them (for some reason), and also really learning a lot about an alternate sexuality that was obvious to others when you weren’t keeping things contained to someone else’s aesthetic surveillance (for some reason). The Young Spartans formed around that structure as a sort of ‘what if the Teen Titans were also Weirdo Fundie Rumspringa.’

That’s where we got Hex Ed and Brand at first. I like Starfire, and I like Raven, and they’re both really cool characters from their source material, but a lot of how they work is meant to tie into their youth and comparative powerlessness. Also, back when I did this, like… jimminy, 2011? Good grief, that’s a number.

And that’s where these stories got coalesced. I wound up sharing these characters with a roleplaying group, G4, who got to do a lot of the roleplay that shaped them as personas, the kind of people they wound up being and also my particular snobbery of the ethics of superheroics. It also is where I baked out these two

And yeah, they’re girlfriends. Hext is dating a few other people as well. Brand has some datefriends too, but Brand is only interested in women while Hext is interested in everything. There have been other mentions of Young Spartans, since they wound up recruiting Tideward (because I had the Spartans already), and Burnwillow (a farmer alt that wound up becoming core to the game), and they’re probably dating in some complex arrangement there, too!

* I’m not blameless here, by the way; there are at least two characters of mine that someone else levelled while I was in a Bad Moods place and I never wound up playing them before the game went down, and that sucks, they don’t deserve that and I have tried to find and apologise to both of them since the collapse of the game.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#CityOfHeroes #Games #Making

#City of Heroes #Games #Making

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numinously-yours · 1 month

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Hello, here for the free reading,

When am I going to meet my next romantic partner and hows are relationship going to be?

I'm a cancer. Thank you for your time and energy!

Hello!

As I mentioned in the previous reading, when it comes to timelines, I usually look at what will be happening during this time or what needs to happen before you meet the person. I do still do numbers, but I am more in-tuned with the energies versus timelines which is why that will have more information.

Timeline: Ten of Cups, Five of Wands, The World rev.

There is something you are seeking closure on that is preventing you from moving forward just yet. There was a disagreement or you're having a conflict and it is affecting your receptivity of a peaceful life. There might be something holding you back. It's like you almost take the step you need for closure, but you get scared and decide not to. The unknown sucks, but taking the hardest step is going to help you soo much. Once you've found this closure/ability to "move on", you're going to open up your life to this person.

In terms of numbers: Short term, I see 5 months/the end of summer, long term, I see 10 months/beginning of next Spring. This is dependent on the progress of the work above. (Do NOT force yourself to make the short term timeline happen; take the time to do the healing you need. Even if it's on the longer side of things, you'll be much stronger by taking care of your needs).

Relationship: For this, I asked how the relationship will be in general and then what you will learn from the relationship.

General - Page of Wands rev., The Devil, and the Wheel of Fortune

At this point in time, I believe your next relationship is going to be a step toward the relationship with your future spouse. This can change, but I don't see this person as being "the one" with the current energies. However, with the Wheel of Fortune, they are absolutely someone you're met to meet. You're going into this relationship with a clean slate in your mind. You are open to new experiences, having fun, and seeing what you really want in a relationship. You both will be really attracted to each other and, if it is something you are interested in partaking in, your sex life will be awesome. I think you'll experience some great moments with your shadow self. All of the things you sought closure on may still occasionally creep through and make you feel like you haven't made the progress you thought. BUT, this relationship is going to show you how you can still be in a partnership while working on yourself AND it will show you that there are supportive partners out there.

What will you learn? - Knight of Cups rev., Five of Cups, and Three of Swords rev.

All relationships, no matter the length, teach us something. Along with some of the things I mentioned above, you're going to learn that even if things end, there are people out there who will give you what you need in a relationship. This person may not have had everything you needed but they showed you things you hadn't seen in previous relationships. Your relationship with this person also showed you some unrealistic expectations you bring into relationships. Something during the course of this relationship is going to teach you about forgiveness - both forgiveness of yourself and others. Break ups are sad no matter what, but I think the relationship you have with this person is going to show you that they don't all end in disaster. You're going to actually understand why it ends and it's going to create this belief in yourself that you haven't felt before. You won't dread having to "find someone else" because this time you know it's nothing you DID, it just happens.

Best of luck my love <3

#love reading #tarot reading #tarot #ten of cups #five of wands #the world reversed #page of wands reversed #the devil tarot #the wheel of fortune tarot #knight of cups reversed #five of cups #three of swords reversed

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joylinda-hawks · 9 months

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Unable to defend himself, betrayed and abandoned by all. WOH, Episode 33, Part 4. With ZJ unmasked, I have no choice but to fight WKX. ZJ knows that the poison in his body prevents him from excelling in the martial arts, but over the years he has learned to overcome this shortcoming. Here, however, he comes face to face with a young man whose martial arts skills he may not recognize. The fight is tight, but WKX has the upper hand. He plays with ZJ like a cat with a mouse. Great satisfaction is given to WKX by the cuts that hurt ZJ. WKX's intention is to humiliate ZJ. ZJ says it's all tricks. He demands that WKX kill him if he can. ZJ loses his temper and starts making mistakes during the fight. Viewers can admire the spectacular fight of a composed young man with an enraged sect leader. WKX uses every opportunity to hurt and weaken ZJ. ZZS calmly watches the fight. He is proud of his WKX skills, but regrets not getting them at Siji Manor. The Scorpion King sadly watches his adoptive father's demise. He knows that his choice and alliance with WKX was right because ZJ betrayed his trust. The Scorpion King believed him almost to the end. WKX looks at the wounded ZJ and says that everyone betrayed him and left him. ZJ does not give up and once again attacks WKX. However, fatigue and a long struggle make themselves felt. After more punches, WKX knocks the crown out of his hair and eventually ZJ falls to the stage. The crowd may be relieved that the fight is over, but they don't like ZJ. WKX calls him a traitor and asks if he admits to the crime. The seemingly defeated ZJ says that WKX has done well by falsely accusing him and demanding that he kill him. ZJ stubbornly denies the truth. However, none of the gathered can believe his words, he feels ashamed that he has been deceived for so many years. Summoning the WKX, the Ghost Valley leader with the last of his strength stands up and attacks the WKX. WKX loses patience, calls ZJ stubborn and stops him with one swing of his sword. WKX argues that if a son cannot avenge his parents, he is no different from an animal. He appeals to the assembled heroes, asking for justice. The gathered agree and want ZJ dead. WKX claims that his parents, as physicians, have healed and saved many lives throughout their lives. Because of ZJ's betrayal, they died. WKX talked about his oath. ZJ admits the wrong move, but he didn't lose because his opponents lost. He proudly says that he deceived them for 20 years and plunged all of Jianghu into chaos. He says he is happy and will die a hero's death. He again demands that WKX kill him because if he does, they will live in the shadow of his fame. WKX agrees and tells him it will make his life hell. The two get into a fight, and ZZS considers ZJ's final words. He heard similar words from someone else. In the end, ZJ definitely collapses. ZZS feels relieved, knows that it's over. WKX got justice. Another part of this long and exciting scene. The fight is very beautifully conducted and played. I have great respect for the people who developed it, as well as the actors themselves for the masterful performance. Fighting looks like a dance. However, not only the fight is important. What is important is the attitude of ZJ, who, despite being aware that he is losing, still sticks to his version of events. He blames everyone but himself for his failures. He betrayed and abused the trust of many people, now karma is coming back to him. ZJ is a rotten man obsessed with lust for power and power. ZZS, listening to him, saw the reflection of Prince Jin in him. They both had great ambitions and didn't care about other people. Both ZZS and WKX were aware that depriving them of their lives would not change anything. This scene and ZJ's last words resemble Prince Jin's last words. We were shown that sick ambitions hurt not only other people, but above all those who have them. GJ showed us a fantastic fight scene, it was a pleasure to watch his moves.

#zhang zhehan #zhou zishu #word of honor #wenzhou #wen kexing #gong jun

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cosmicangel888 · 2 years

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Understanding the Divine ~ 5D

If there is any understanding about God, Spirit, Source, those that walk in source, spirit, the higher self, always guiding you, and when you tune in, tap into the higher self guiding you - you never, would ever have to do 'spell work' on that which is Divine.

A partnership that was contracted in the most high of the most high for exactly the reasons of divine growth, not ego-controlling games, schemes, mind-games, trickery -

Divine relationships are not trickery - Divine relationships are not held within 3rd, 4th party entanglements; there is no sharing or playing in the ego, unhealed distorted feminine and masculine games to feed superficial means meant to have been healed by devotion of self to love, care, appreciation - ©

When you seek a divine partner - you must heal and vibrate as one; healing what needs to be healed and facing your ego, shadow, and know that any divine partner, will never put up with such games and unhealed issues of manipulation and distortions of subjugation -

Each is responsible to go within and heal - no partner deserves the projections, spell work, taking stealing, cock-blocking, or any other immature actions when it only takes to 'understand the Universe, energy, and how the Divine truly designs a 'counter-part' connection -

Divine does not play such games of sabotage and toxic dysfunction -

All must go within and heal - do the inner work and connect with spirit - do the work - you will never ever ever have to harm, confuse, take, break, or create any crime to receive in truth, integrity and honour of your own soul - if you choose to behave from such levels of lack, and no sense of self to 'get' something or to have likes, or to call someone else's work your own, then the inner work is not being done.

who are you - why do you feel the need to do spell work on another? if they are not in your life, they are not meant to - know there are lessons, beings, and situations you must move through and know spirit will always provide loving connections if this is the energy you are placing out with integrity and not forcing your wants and needs on any other - ©

this is basic common courteous behaving and respecting of boundaries - there is no need for harm, corruption, crime in order to receive -

When someone says 'no, stop, no; it means no, stop, no'

Respecting your own life, value, worthiness you learn that of all life - and why would any need any spell work than for self healing?

Mind control, mind warping, no sense of self, no direction of self, no inner connection with spirit is why such is done and truly 100% not necessary to live successful within ones own design and gifts and 0 crime would ever be created

youtube

if you choose to do spell work - practice on yourself and study that - no one has the right to place any spell on anyone without their permission and knowing - otherwise, it is all stories and games of healing, understanding control, fear, and greed, and healing the wounds within it - ©

Heal the wounds - so that your wounds do not become another's

If someone is doing spell work on you in any way, any spell, for any selfish gain or need, they do not respect you, nor do they love you, and nor are they your counterpart - period!©

None, in any way, have power, control, veil of another to be seen, heard, valued, honoured, and treasured over another - there are deep wounds of lack, sense of self if you feel envy, jealousy to not celebrate others, or want good for them, or see them receive goodness, and good will - there is truly lacking within and is the key to healing first - these are shadow and inner child wounds that are screaming to be healed - ©

If you live from a place of such aching to control outcome, power over another in any way - you will absolutely attract such to you - that is the ripple you vibrate - deep wounds have gotta be healed - or not - but never expect anyone to stick around or be all in to play such limiting and damaging games of self sacrifice and degradation ©

None have power over any other in any other way; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and each is responsible for clearing, cleansing, own their own unique gifts without taking and claiming as their own what is not and to love fully what is only within - it is a simple path and equation -

And so be it,

Understanding benevolence and simply living from wounded ego are very different - each must sort it out -

Blessings and light,

Joanna

#ascension

#selflove

#selfdesign #senseofself

World Ascension Healing Classes, Intuitive Sessions, Healing Sessions, Ascension Books, Healing Systems, 5D human-socio-altruistic re-write ~

DONATIONS - see our PayPal link here; paypal.me/JoannaLRoss * [email protected]

#Youtube

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magicsunwheel · 3 years

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Why You're F#cking Amazing

Pick-a-Card

How to play: pick one of the photos below using your intuition. You can close your eyes and meditate for a bit or just take a few grounding breaths while thinking of the topic. Feeling drawn to more than one is fine! You might have messages in more than one pile

Pile 1 (x) Pile 2 (x) Pile 3 (x)

My pile numbers always go from left to right, then down to the text row (if applicable)

Pile 1

Cards: The High Priestess, Five of Swords, Seven of Pentacles, The Moon Rx, Five of Rods, Ace of Pentacles

You are so intuitive! You're either very in touch with your divine feminine or are working your way there right now. Something about you is severe in the most beautiful way. You can take things seriously when they need to and the way you command a room with just your presence is unmatched. Maybe you're also a tarot reader or involved in spirituality/divination in some way. Maybe you really like Pick-a-Cards.

Something beautiful about you is that you never give up on a fight, especially when you know the end is worth it. Your ambition is strong and you will fight for what you love and what you want. You are not weak-willed by any means.

This also makes you so unique! You work so hard and put so much labor into your love even if you know it will take a long time to come to fruition. The times that you feel discouraged by a lack of results are few and far between. If for some reason you do find yourself wistfully hoping for faster results or an easier path, you can easily remind yourself of why you started in the first place.

You might have moments where you think of yourself as sneaky or like you're hiding a part of yourself from others, like your true self would be too much for them. I'm here to tell you that your intensity is exactly what make you such a beautiful person! You thrive in competition and in adversity. It gives you a chance to show off your quick thinking and survival skills. Others look at you with envy of how you can make an opportunity out of seemingly nothing!

If you need help improving your self-love, Spirit says to stop comparing yourself to others! You are amazing and beautiful and unique all on your own! Throwing yourself into the fray to compete against others who are nothing like you will only fim your inner shine. And you really do shine! When I asked for a card about why you are beautiful, nearly half the damn deck flew out!

Sprit loves you and I love you so please take care of yourself and keep making those amazing opportunities to improve your physical surroundings. (I feel like you have a very clean room/home)

Pile 2

Cards: Nine of Rods, the World, King of Cups, Three of Rods, Ace of Rods, Two of Cups

Ahh the Loona pile!

Similar to Pile 1, but much more fiery! You are resilient! Taking time to collect yourself before pushing forward with a renewed sense of energy and purpose is such an amazing and useful trait. You maybe aren't as commanding of a presence but you have such an inner strength that no one can deny.

You got the World for the reason why you're beautiful! Maybe it's related to physically being very beautiful and possibly exotic-looking. You might have very specific features associated with a certain area of the world that stand out where you live. You also have such a wonderful understanding of the world and where it's currently at. Things can seem negative or like hope is lost but you still seek out the beauty and share it with others. You see opportunity where others do not and feel a sense of peace and connectedness with all of humanity. Wow!

Your uniqueness shines in your emotionality and compassion. You might be a natural born leader who makes sure to understand all under your rule. You lead with kindness and, most importantly, by example. You don't have any desire to use you position for ill-gotten gains. Power to you does not corrupt, it solely provides a tool for you to do good in the world and really make a difference in the lives of others, whether it's on a large or small scale. You are probably the kind of person who makes sure to give money to those who need it when you pass a begging mother and her children, or buying a homeless man a bottle of water on a hot day.

Your card for why you think you are not perfect actually came out quite positive. Maybe you don't have a very low self esteem, but I can see a few possible scenarios here. You might be constantly planning in your head, waiting and watching for the next move to take but never actually getting to the action part. Maybe you're planning for your future and have so much planned out that you're excited for, but haven't made the practical plans on how to actually get there. This could make you feel bad about yourself especially on days where you're reminded of others moving ahead in their lives while you're still planning. Visualisation is very important in manifesting your desired reality! If you are moving slower than others around you, remember that it is okay to not be where "everyone else" is. Life is not a race or a competition. Taking your time to get to where you need to be when you need to be there reminds me of the story of the tortoise and the hare. Quick does not necessarily mean better.

You can improve your self-love by creating! Using your creativity and passion to make something! Create art, whether it's physical/digital art, music, writing, inventing, anything that uses those creative muscles of yours. It doesn't have to be good! Just creating something will help burn up that excess energy you have that's trying to rush you somewhere. Self-expression this way can be a wonderful hobby even if you don't consider yourself as a creative person.

Your kindness really shines through. You care so deeply about the people around you and your spiritual team cares just as deeply about you. You are loved and watched over and protected by Spirit. Others around you also see your sparkle and appreciate and admire you, even if they don't show it. Know you are beautiful and amazing and bringing a light into this world that needs to be here.

Pile 3

Cards: Six of Rods, the Hierophant, Four of Rods, Six of Cups, Ten of Swords, the Hermit Rx

Damn, who are y'all!? You've got some mighty power and pull in this world. Maybe you're a public figure or have some kind of platform, like a social media with many followers. You could also be well-recognized within your field of study/work. Whoever you are, people see you and look up to you. They celebrate you and how amazing you are! Spirit loves this about you and you really shine in the spotlight. Your achievements deserve all this pomp and celebration!

You are naturally authoritative. People listen when you speak and take your words to heart. You might also be a religious person or someone who enjoys organization and the comfort of hierarchy. People will willingly follow you wherever you lead them because they trust you with all their hearts. "A merciful ruler" (lol) You hold your position with grace and dignity befitting a king or queen.

You are unique in ways the public recognizes, but we knew that already! You might be someone who likes to entertain and you throw the greatest parties and get-togethers. Maybe you've planned a wedding and everyone had such an amazing time! You know how to relax and have fun when the time for celebrating arrives. You can out down your guard and bit and let loose. Not many people with such responsibility can let go of the reigns like that, but you don't seem to hold on to control too tightly.

Your past might be a source of anxiety for you. Maybe you're worried that what you've done when you were younger will catch up to you and ruin what you've got going on now, but it's important to remember that the past is the past. It cannot be undone or wished away. Taking time to accept what happened and recognizing that you've moved on to bigger and better things is important here. Whatever happened, take time to heal your childhood wounds and forgive past actions.

Ending this cycle will bring much more self-love to your life. Old habits and patterns being out to rest is the way forward. It might be a painful ending and something you don't necessarily look forward to, but it is something that needs to happen to clear out old energy and welcome in everything new. You can't expect to move on if you're still repeating old actions or ways of thinking. It's time to set these things to rest and evolve. Leave behind what no longer serves you.

Your understanding of yourself knows no bounds. You've taken the time to inquisit yourself and learn all of the shadows that lie there. Self-reflection might be a favored pastime for you. Through this knowledge of yourself you are able to see truths that many struggle to see all their lives. Your light can cut through the fog if bullshit and see the true source of something. Use this knowledge of yourself to become the best version of yourself that you can be! I know you're already on your way there and it's amazing to see! Spirit is so proud of you and loves you so much!

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tsukikoindreamsmp · 3 years

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Sunsprite’s Eulogy - passerine || Scene Comparisons (9/9)

Tubbo grabbed the axe that hung from his hip. It was starting to rust, and constant use had worn away the handle, but it would hold for just a bit more. It was a familiar, reliable weight in his hand, and he swung it beside him as he walked towards the forest.

He needed more firewood to keep his sister warm. - Chapter 7: the echoing hymn of my fellow passerine (they took to it)

Someone noticed. It was a girl with hair as pink as the hibiscuses she grew in her garden. She had lived in the city all her life. Once, a man with the same hibiscus-pink hair had walked into her flower shop, his eyes bleak and unfocused. He’d asked her if she had any yellow roses for sale, and had bought it all. It was only later that she realized who the man was, but by then he’d already left, heading towards the woods that bordered the city. Now, she marched along the city streets that had become unfamiliar over the course of a week. She’d left her garden to the care of an elderly neighbor. A sign was left on her flower shop door, telling hopeful customers that it was closed indefinitely. There was nothing else to do now but follow the course of the crowd, keeping an eye on a stranger that was definitely much younger than her, wondering whether or not he’d outlive her. - Chapter 4: my birds of a kind (they more and more are looking like centurions)

The war god had seen his fair share of battles, and had won all of them, except one. The only battle to matter, and he’d lost everything, because a blood god had decided to throw his lot in with the opposing forces. One soldier. Afterwards, the war god had dragged himself through the battlefield, his throat burning from screaming his lover’s name into the quiet sky. When he’d found him, the war god had crawled towards his broken body, curling around it as if he could somehow warm it back to life, and he had stayed there for years, letting the moss and the weeds grow over the two of them. He would have stayed there forever, beside the carcass rotted down to the bones, but a fire had grown inside him, a fire that would not be satiated until he had the head of the god that taken everything from him. - Chapter 4: my birds of a kind (they more and more are looking like centurions)

They passed underneath the castle gates, where a woman they called the Captain kept a watchful eye. She was under orders to turn away anyone too young, too sick, too old—but every time she looked into their eyes, she only saw herself. She’d clawed her way to her position, made sure to earn her reputation, and had stood guard over the royal family for over a decade. It was her stubbornness that got her to where she was, adorned with medallions from the king—both old and new. It was stubbornness that she saw in these people now. So while she did her duty by barring the way for the youngest, the sickest and the oldest, if she turned away for a moment when an aged warrior did her best to hide the wrinkles on the backs of her scarred hands, or when a seventeen-year-old boy pulled his hood lower over his face, or when a strong-jawed smith from the city limped by her with a broken foot that wasn’t quite healed yet… well, she would consider that her duty, too. - Chapter 4: my birds of a kind (they more and more are looking like centurions)

“I feel like a frog sometimes, too,” she continued, in that nonsensical way that young children often bounced from the heaviest subjects to the lightest without warning or prolonged thought. Techno missed having that kind of power—the power to simply not give a damn. “Mama and I went to the village yesterday, and it rained, so we had to stop under a tree so we wouldn’t get wet, and I found three frogs running by in the rain! Three frogs, Techno! Have you ever seen three frogs all at once?” - Chapter 7: the echoing hymn of my fellow passerine (they took to it)

It took him two years to ask her name, another two to ask her to marry him. Her name was Sally, and she said yes.

When their first child was born—a baby boy with hair the color of Tommy’s last sunset—Wilbur took him into his arms without hesitation. He pressed his tearstained cheek against his son’s warm skin and whispered, “I will love you forever,” over and over until he was sure his son knew it. And the son would grow up under no one’s shadow, calling Wilbur “Dad,” and Techno “Uncle,” in a kingdom of hard-won peace. In time, he would know the story of the Blue Valley and the story of his other uncle and the story of his grandparents, but until then, he would think all gods were kind and his father never cried. His uncle would carve his height into the marble column of the ivy-covered pavilion where he learned how to paint, and he would wonder why his father’s brother would turn away whenever he passed the almost-faded marks of the boy that had stood there before him. - Chapter 7: the echoing hymn of my fellow passerine (they took to it)

He was sitting on a pulpit of marble, his legs dangling over its gilded edge. He was calmly reading a book, eyes leisurely moving across the leather-bound pages. His eyes were the most striking thing about him, an unnatural shade of green that reminded Techno of overripe grapes, sour instead of sweet and rotten to the core. The rest of him was… unremarkable. Save for the fact that he was wearing nothing more than a faded-white tunic and trousers in the freezing cold, he could have passed for a mortal: curly dark-blonde hair tucked behind his ears, hands wrapped in bandages up to the knuckles, and a face that could have been a face Techno passed on the street a million times over without remembering it. No obsidian wings or eyes the color of fresh-drawn blood. A man, not a god. - Chapter 6: my palms and fingers still reek of gasoline (from throwing fuel to the fire)

#passerine #sad ist #sunsprite's eulogy #tubbo #niki nihachu #sapnap #karlnapity #captain puffy #itsfundy #dreamwastaken #sleepy bois inc

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enamouredfae · 3 years

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♡ Pick a Card ♡

What you need to know in order to be ready for the love you so longingly seek!

This reading is looking at anything you might need to heal or grow into in order to enter future relationships as your higher self. I am not looking at your future, but simply trying to guide you towards your highest good in the field of love. Many of us have internalized certain perceptions of love that we must unlearn, or have lived through difficult moments which have closed us off or made experiencing love more difficult. If you are in a toxic relationship/situation, please do not take any messages that might seem to tell you to stay in it. With this reading, I will hopefully open you up to some introspection and hopefully growth. You may very well be attracted to multiple piles and that is ok! Read all that attract you and take what resonates. Each pile has three pieces of advice, so mixing and matching is invited!

This reading is for entertainment purposes only.

This is a timeless reading for the collective, therefore it is likely that some messages will not resonate with you. Please only take the messages that do! The messages that do not, are meant for somebody else. Remember that the future is never set in stone and that you possess free will! Love you! ♡

Pile 1

Charm: Knot

1. Yang

Yang tells me that you need to learn to become more proactive in love. You cannot wait around. You must act! You need to manifest your desires into the material world by doing. It's perfectly fine to do the first move, no matter what society deems "acceptable", it is even invited with this card.

23. Peace

Radical acceptance is necessary for inner peace and in this case for a higher love. You must first love yourself fully, light and shadow self, before loving someone else in the way that you both deserve! And you deserve radical acceptance, we are all flawed and intricate people! As long as we are willing to change and grow and put in the work, past mistakes can be atoned for.

38. To be fair

This card tells me that you need to learn to be more balanced in relationships. Are you giving more than the other parties? Are you giving less? We must be fair to both others and ourselves. When someone in the relationship gives more, they may feel underappreciated which can become unmotivating, but they can also overwhelm the other person. You must learn balance.

Pile 2

Charm: Cactus

7. To the sea (reversed)

"When fishermen cannot go to sea, they stay at home and repair their nets." This is a quote from the guidebook that I had to rewrite here because it encapsulates the advice perfectly. You probably long for love like fishermen long for the sea. This card is telling me that the problem isn't coming from you, but the external world. An idea that just popped up in my head is a queer teen living in a homophobic area or with homophobic parents, so it is likely that this could be your situation. If it is, I love you, please take care of yourself, love and better days will come, don't worry! But you must wait a while longer until the external world matches your vibration, perhaps you'll have to move, wait until you're safe to go out to the sea. Until then, go with the flow.

50. No place like home (reversed)

This card seems to work perfectly with the previous one, it reminds us that what is familiar isn't always the best, because it keeps us from growing. If you want change, you can't keep going to the same things/people that haven't worked before, it's counterintuitive. It is natural to go back to what's familiar, but try something new. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Choose unfamiliar.

34. A leg up (reversed)

You are carrying the burden of your world all alone. You probably don't feel safe sharing what you feel, or are very uncomfortable with vulnerability. To be honest with you, right before writing this part of the reading, I started tearing up, you are holding in so much hurt... You need to voice your struggles, being vulnerable is proof of immense strength, believe me! I know it's hard! Start little by little with someone you really trust!

Pile 3

Charm: Star

35. Loyal Heart

Ok if one pile is ready for the beginning of a relationship it's this one. It is the perfect time for you to create loyal commitments. It is possible that you are already in a committed relationship, but at the very least you are surrounded by loyal, devoted people. Don't forget to be devoted and loyal in return!

4. Higher Power (reversed)

This card is inviting you to trust in whatever divine power you believe in, trust that the universe is divinely guiding you and protecting you. I feel like if a certain religion or spiritual path attracts or fascinates you, you should start looking into it, careful with being disrespectful or appropriating it, especially with closed practices, please do your research! But connecting to Source would be beneficial to you in the long run!

25. Round and Round

You are stuck in a cycle that you must break. Do not worry, you shouldn't feel bad, it's all part of the learning process. Remember: you've been through this before, think back on how that made you feel the previous times, are you sure you want to go through that again? Breaking this cycle is a form of self-care, and you need to care for yourself! You are subconsciously punishing yourself by staying in this cycle, try thinking about the root of why you're doing so! It could help you in breaking it!

Pile 4

Charm: "Love"

8. The tribe

You may want to find your tribe, or you have recently found it. You might feel like you finally belong, or are longing for that feeling. Whenever I get this card, I think of the astrology/witchcraft/tarot community here! It may be the same for you! You are welcome here, and hopefully, you feel like you belong! Contributing to any community that you are passionate about, whether online or in real life, will bring you great joy and satisfaction. Your tribe awaits and needs you! It's possible that that's where you'll find love as well!

6. Not for you (reversed)

Let them go. Whoever you first thought of, it's time to stop obsessing over them. "Don't chase after what flees you." I'm sure you realize this is not serving you, but how do you stop? This card is suggesting radical acceptance and surrender, that this is a sign that someone or something much better is waiting for you. I suggest reminding yourself that they aren't perfect and that you have just come to idealize them.

52. Mending (reversed)

You are very likely going through a grieving period right now. There is so much hurt and disappointment. "Heartbreak is a strange healer of souls." It may feel awful now, but trust that when you look back one day, you will see that the hurt you're feeling now, transformed you in a powerful way. This card is inviting you to accept the heartbreak and push through it, situations like this open us up to seeing the world in a new way, to growing. Better days are coming!

Pile 5

Charm: Angel

28. Building blocks (reversed)

Are you acting according to your belief system? Are you following the advice you give others? You must look carefully at your core foundation. It seems to me that you have done a lot of inner growth, but are still stuck in your old ways. Your outer self isn't matching your inner self. Start doing what you preach!

47. Go the distance

I feel like you're someone that wants love right now! For it to come fast and smoothly, like a sprint. You must learn to see love more realistically, as a long-distance race of endurance. You may be the type to immediately run at the sight of a problem. You must learn to be dedicated and work in love, it won't always be the idealized version you keep reading about or watching. Love demands work!

32. Here and Now (reversed)

You live in the past, don't you? So much regret and nostalgia... Or perhaps you live in the future? Daydreams and ambition. There is a need to learn to live in the here and now, you cannot change the past, and the future is infinite. They're both elusive, and unreliable; now is tangible, real, and full of immediate possibilities.

Pile 6

Charm: Mars Symbol

22. Blessed

This beautiful card talks about an unexpected and "unearned" wonderful event, that seems like divine intervention, a gift from the universe. The advice I take from this card is to practice gratitude because you seem to be blessed in the love department. Perhaps you already know who "the one" is for you. If you don't, trust that the universe has someone wonderful for you!

31. Why?

Ask yourself why you feel as you do about/in love? It is time for some introspection. You need to think and identify unhealthy patterns in your love life. Why do you act as you do in a relationship? Identify what in your past has caused this behavior. It won't solve the problem right away, but it's a good first step. Understanding the problem will be validating.

27. Exchanging gifts (reversed)

"Be careful what you pray for because you might just get it." You need to be ready for the energy exchange that will happen if this happens. This card talks about an imbalance between giving and receiving. You must learn that if you receive a lot, you must return a lot, love needs to be balanced. If you give more, you aren't actually in control, the other party could be consciously or unconsciously taking advantage of your generosity!

Pile 7

Charm: Eternally Open Heart Locket

17. The Fates

You must learn to accept that there are things and people you simply cannot control and change. You cannot blame yourself for things beyond your control, nor can you blame others for things they cannot control. Just be wise enough to tell the difference between things one can control and things one cannot!! If you have a tendency to mold people into your ideal, making them lose their essence, you must learn to accept people for who they are. It is not your job to change them: the desire to change must come from them, for them.

15. Message in a bottle

Try asking for specific signs from the universe, or start becoming more aware of them. Synchronicities are all around you, they're the way that the universe confirms that you're on the right path! Listen carefully to those you communicate with, they could be delivering a cledon to you. This card itself is a good sign, a favorable answer to the question occupying your mind.

9. Treasure Island

You might've already, but if you haven't, MANIFEST YOUR LOVE!! You will be greatly rewarded when you embrace the law of attraction and your intuition. Depending on your belief in how manifestation works, try being mindful of free will! If you believe that love spells on specific people are influencing their free will, then it is immoral to manifest a specific person. If you don't believe that that is how manifestation works, do as you will, just be in line with your beliefs! This card is also a great sign, you're on the right path, and have good fortune on your side. Very lucky pile!!

Pile 8

Charm: Boot

2. Yin (reversed)

You must learn to receive, only being the giver isn't good for you. You deserve to receive! Be open to embodying yin and yang equally. "You stop the flow of abundance when you constantly insist upon being the giver." Be the listener, the one that learns, the one that is being led.

33. Chaos and Conflict

You may be afraid of chaos and conflict, but you must remember that they can rid you of what's no longer serving you. Conflict also implies two sides, remember that yours isn't the only one, and conflict can lead to mutual understanding. Learn to put up boundaries, but also to respect those of others. When you finally see the potential of healing that conflict can cause, you'll be ready for mature communication in relationships.

20. Imagine

Remember that you can create what you imagine! Your imagination is powerful in manifesting your desires, but it can't do everything for you! Manifestation is work, when an opportunity arises, act! This card can also be a sign that the person you're manifesting will be entering your life soon. When they appear, don't just wait, and daydream! The imagination part of manifesting is done, now it's time to act.

Pile 9

Charm: Knife

21. Clean it up

It's time to let go and declutter your mind. Think about what is no longer serving you, about the things that only overwhelm you, and make you overthink, they aren't good for you. It might also help you to declutter in general, your house, your closet, your phone, your feed, etc. Make room for the new and the better.

48. Poised (reversed)

Think carefully, are you really ready for love right now? Because this card is telling me that you aren't. It's ok to be a "late bloomer", and it's important to be ready for love, as to not hurt the one you love, and yourself. Being single isn't a sign of "failure", it gives you the time and space to focus on yourself, on your growth, on your healing, on exploring and understanding yourself. Being single can seem like a curse, but it's a blessing, it's what you need right now.

16. All that glitters

Are you being yourself in love? Are they? Don't succumb to the power of superficiality. Either let go of the mask or look beyond theirs! "Imagine that all the glitter is gone. Would you still desire the object or person?" If one falls for the glitter, what will happen on the day they forgets to glue it on?

Thank you for reading! Love you all.♡

You can buy me a coffee if you feel called to do so! This is never necessary, but always appreciated! ♡

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aspoonofsugar · 3 years

Text

Jaune: Zero to Hero

Pyrrha: It's not about why; it's about knowing. Understanding dark and light helps us manifest our Aura. Everyone has some of both.

Knowledge, Creation and Destruction all lead up to Aura. This is just another way to say that they lead up to individuality, which is something Grimms lack:

Pyrrha: They are creatures of Grimm, the manifestation of anonymity.

Individuality is conveyed through Choice. This is why Choice is the most important and final gift. It is symbolic of self-actualization, which is what our characters are pursuing in their coming of age story.

Jaune’s personal arc comments the group’s collective journey and marks each stage very clearly.

In which way does it happen? And what do these stages mean for Jaune’s growth as an individual?

THE IGNORANT WARRIOR

Pyrrha: Jaune, do you... know what Aura is?

Jaune: Psch! Of course I do! Do you know what Aura is?

Jaune is introduced as inexperienced and ignorant. He lacks combat experience and knows nothing about key concepts like Aura, Landing Strategy or Semblances.

His journey starts because Pyrrha shares her knowledge with him:

She awakens his aura, his very soul and later on trains him, so she helps his body get stronger:

In other words, Pyrrha is the one who puts Jaune on the right path to become a true “hero” and a “warrior”.

This is Jaune’s objective since the beginning, but he initially pursues it in the wrong way:

Jaune: I don't want help! I don't want to be the damsel in distress! I want to be the hero!

He is fixated on an idea of hero which is outdated and has its root in toxic masculinity:

Jaune: Cause this is always what I've wanted to be! My father, my grandfather, and his father before him were all warriors! They were all heroes! I wanted to be one, too. I was just never good enough.

This is why symbolically Jaune wants to be like his male ancestors. He wants to grow into “a real man”:

Cardin: Let's see how much of a man you really are...

And this is conveyed also through his Weapon:

Jaune: It's a hand-me-down. My great-great-grandfather used it to fight in the war.

Jaune did not forge his own Weapon, but he inherited it. Crocea Mors initially represents the legacy he wants to live up to. However, this legacy, instead of driving him, slows him down because he can’t grow until he remains in his ancestors’ shadow. Jaune needs to develop his own individuality instead.

In order to do so, he needs to grow not only as a figther, but as a person too.

As a matter of fact, Jaune’s ignorance is not only limited to the world he has stepped into, but also to the people around him:

Jaune: That's easy for you to say. You've probably got guys clamoring over each other just to ask you out.

Pyrrha: You'd be surprised.

He is so self-focused that he does not notice others’ feelings and hurts them unintentionally.

However, Pyrrha teaches him once again:

Pyrrha:Tell her exactly what you said. No ridiculous schemes, no pick-up lines. Just... be honest.

It is thanks to her that Jaune manages to become a better man:

He is even able to call Neptune out the way Pyrrha did with him:

Jaune: Then just go talk to her. No pickup lines, no suave moves, just be yourself. I've heard that's the way to go.

And as a result, even Jaune’s relationship with Weiss gets better:

Weiss: You said you were embarrassed at first. What made you come talk to me?

Neptune: You're looking at him. You got some good friends looking out for ya.

Because the girl realizes Jaune is not only after her money or her romantic attention:

Weiss: All my life, boys have only cared about the perks of my last name.

But wants to genuinely be a good friend to her.

In short, Jaune starts the story as immature both as a fighter and as a person to the point that he is considered unfit and annoying by other characters:

Glynda: I don't care what his transcripts say. That Jaune fellow is not ready for this level of combat.

However, thanks to Pyrrha, he is given the chance to mature.

Not only that, but while other characters see a weakness and a nuisance in Jaune’s ignorance and inexperience, Pyrrha sees it as a possibility:

Weiss: Jaune, is it? Do you have any idea who you're talking to?

Jaune: Not in the slightest, snow angel.

Weiss: This is Pyrrha.

It is specifically because Jaune is new to Pyrrha’s world that he is free from bias:

Pyrrha: That's what I like about you. When we met, you didn't even know my name. You treated me just like anyone else. And thanks to you, I've made friendships that will last a lifetime. I guess, you're the kind of guy I wish I was here with. Someone who just saw me for me.

This is why Pyrrha feels she can forge a genuine bond with Jaune. What is more, the girl has faith in his potential:

Pyrrha: It's all right. I used my Aura to unlock yours, but the energy that protects you now is your own. You have a lot of it.

She sees in him what others do not and helps him develop both as a man and as a warrior.

This is well highlighted by the metal motif the two characters share.

As @hamliet explains here Rwby has several characters linked to the seven metals of alchemy.

The goal of alchemy is to create gold thanks to a process of refiniment that purifies the metal and has it go through several transformations.

The seven metals are nothing, but a scale that goes from the heaviest and most raw metal (lead) to the most purified (gold) passing through the others (tin, iron, copper, mercury, silver).

For a story, it simply means that a character goes through a process of change that leads to self-actualization.

In Rwby this idea is conveyed through specific characters embodying a metal (Ironwood, Penny, Mercury) or even thanks to metal motifs commenting a specific part of a character arc.

For example, Yang is associated with gold:

I am the golden one Who burns just like the sun

But Adam takes her arm away and has her regress in the scale of metals to iron. This regression is not simply physical, but psychological as well:

However, Yang re-affirms herself and moves forward. The first step of this process is to symbolically make her new arm “gold” again:

When it comes to Jaune, I think that he may be the character associated with lead aka the “prima materia” that needs to be molded into gold. Even if this is not true, metal is at least definately still a motif in his arc, as it is in Pyrrha’s. This is why both characters wear metal armors, differently from others.

Pyrrha is already close to her self-actualization and she reaches it in the climax of the Vale arc, where she completes her (tragic) arc and dies a Maiden.

This is why her armor is gold, while Jaune’s is white and gray. Pyrrha is at the top of the metal scale and close to the end of her journey, while Jaune is respectively at the very bottom and at the very beginning.

He is the embodyment of the prima materia that has potential for greatness, but only if he is rightly guided and if he himself works hard.

Pyrrha takes over herself the duty to help Jaune mold himself.

This is underlined also by Pyrrha’s semblance:

Pyrrha: Well, Ruby has her speed, you have your glyphs. My Semblance is polarity.

Pyrrha can control and bend metals and she shows her power for the first time when she helps Jaune against the Ursa, so that he can overcome his self-issues.

So, Jaune starts the story as the lead and is going through a path of self-refinement which will lead him to become gold, so more similar to Pyrrha herself.

Pyrrha offers him the basic knowledge to start this journey, but unluckily leaves him too soon and now Jaune has to move forward on his own.

THE CREATIVE AVENGER

Pyrrha: I want you to know that I'm just happy to be a part of your life. I'll always be here for you, Jaune.

Even after Pyrrha’s death, this stays true:

Blacksmith: That was some fine metal you brought me. Accents the white nicely. Where'd you get it from?

Pyrrha has become a part of Jaune.

This is a recurring motif in Rwby:

Penny: I won’t be gone, I’ll be part of you.

It is the idea that grieving is a process that leads to acceptance, but also to integration with a lost one. It is a way to have the deceased keep on living through the survivors.

In Jaune and Pyrrha’s case, this is conveyed through Pyrrha’s metal being used to enrich Jaune’s Weapon.

As stated by Ruby:

Ruby: Just weapons? They're an extension of ourselves! They're a part of us! Oh, they're so cool.

Weapons are symbolic of the self, just like Semblances.

What is more, Weapons and Semblances are also a declination of the dychotomy of body and soul, presented by the series.

Weapons are wielded by bodies, while Semblances are a materialization of the soul.

In other words, Pyrrha’s gold becoming a part of Jaune’s Weapon is symbolic of Jaune’s first step in a painful process that will lead him to overcome his partner’s death and to inherit Pyrrha’s legacy.

Jaune must keep on learning from Pyrrha and become more like her. As noted by @hamliet, this is symbolized also by Jaune’s design aquiring more golden details as he goes on in his journey:

Jaune: Guess I was going to grow out of it eventually.

Ren: A sign of progress.

Jaune: Progress.

That said, grieving is not easy and Jaune must struggle with much pain and negative feelings.

This is why the changes he makes to Crocea Mors are finalized to increase its attack power:

It is because Jaune feels anger over Pyrrha’s death and wants revenge.

In the Battle of Haven he gives in to his fury and tries to kill Cinder. He is trying to superficially imitate Pyrrha’s sacrifice:

Jaune: If I die buying them time, then it's worth it. They're the ones that matter.

However, he is not doing it out of bravery or necessity, but out of recklessness and self-hate. This is why his actions lead to this:

Once again, Jaune risks to lose another loved one:

Jaune: No, no, no, no, not again! Weiss, c'mon, please!!

However, this time he is able to save Weiss thanks to his Semblance:

Jaune: My Semblance?

Nora: How else do you think you're healing her, dummy?

Jaune gives up on using his Weapon to fight and chooses to use his Semblance to cure. He chooses soul over body and Creation over Destruction.

At the same time, Jaune’s activation of his Semblance is meaningful on two levels:

Jaune: No. I don't think I'm healing her. Our Aura heals our bodies. It feels... it feels more like I'm using my Aura to amplify hers!

Nora: Wait, aren't you worried about running out?

Jaune: Pyrrha once told me I've got a lot of it. I still believe her.

First of all, Jaune’s Semblance is rooted in the idea that people heal themselves. His power is not to cure others, but to amplify others’ auras, so that they can become stronger and can heal. It is about bringing out the best in others. It is a power fit for a leader, but also an ability symbolic of Jaune’s own process of healing. He can heal himself through helping others to heal.

Secondly, Jaune’s Semblance is in itself a nod to Pyrrha. Pyrrha used her own aura to awake his and Aura Amp is simply an evolution of this idea. It is not about activating others’ auras, but it is a power that lets Jaune share his. It also makes good use of something Pyrrha noticed immediately aka Jaune’s huge quantity of aura.

In other words, Jaune ends up acting like Pyrrha in the Battle of Haven, but not because he fights Cinder, but because he shares his gift with others, just like Pyrrha did with hers.

Pyrrha is a part of Jaune both in body (Crocea Mors) and soul (Aura Amp), but Jaune must still truly understand what this means.

He makes progress in Lost:

Red-Haired Woman: She understood that she had a responsibility... to try. I don't think she would regret her choice, because a Huntress would understand that there really wasn't a choice to make. And a Huntress is what she always wanted to be.

This is the essence of Pyrrha’s sacrifice. Jaune comes to understand it and chooses to make a similar choice together with his team:

Jaune: I think... I think she knew she wasn't going to win. That she might not come out alive. But... she also knew she was the only one that could try.

Ren: So she did.

Nora: Maybe we should too.

Jaune: Yeah, we should.

In this way, it will be as if Pyrrha were fighting together with them:

Nora: Pyrrha may not be by our side anymore, but we can fight like she is.

Jaune: And in a way... she will be.

Jaune tries to overcome his anger and his sadness for Pyrrha’s death in order to keep fighting like she did.

So, once again he chooses this:

Ruby: I wanted to protect my friends.

Maria: Precisely! It is the desire to preserve life which fuels the light inside you. And to make no mistake, it is light. Preservation is an extension of creation, or, at the very least, an enemy of destruction. The Creatures of Grimm were made by the God of Darkness, but your light comes from his brother.

He chooses to protect life and this is the essence of Creation.

Once he confirms this choice, he is free to explore Creation’s potential and he does so in the land of Creation itself, Atlas.

He strengthens his shield instead of his sword:

And he trains his Semblance:

Oscar: Nice, your recovery is getting faster.

This all leads him to become stronger psychologically:

Ren: Him on the other hand... There's no fear at all. I can see it, he believes we're going to get this done.

That said, Jaune starts meeting limits to his new found strength rooted in Creation:

Jaune: Ah, sorry. No matter how much I boost you, they won’t go away.

Jaune: Did... I stop the virus?

Penny: No. It’s still there.

Jaune’s way to move forward is to heal himself through healing others. Still, what to do when this is not possible?

THE DESTRUCTIVE HEALER

Penny: No… there’s not enough time to heal me…

Penny: But there is something you can do…

What happens in Atlas is an inversion of Haven.

Penny pushes Jaune’s Semblance away and touches Crocea Mors.

Jaune is asked to give up on healing her and to speed up her death instead. He is asked to choose his Weapon (body) over his Semblance (soul) and Destruction over Creation.

This marks the characters entering the Destruction phase:

Leaving Creation (Penny) behind.

For Jaune, this means that his own self image that he has worked so much to build and to make his own:

And that has been enriched in Anima thanks to Pyrrha...is shattered:

At the same time, he is once again put in a similar spot as Pyrrha:

They both become unwilling agents of Penny’s death because of Cinder (and Emerald and Mercury in the first case):

Pyrrha: Ruby, I... I'm so sorry.

Ruby: Me too. But it wasn't your fault.

Jaune: She's right. Whoever was on that microphone... they're the ones that did this. And we have to make sure they don't take anyone else.

So Jaune’s journey to integrate with Pyrrha, to understand her and her struggle continues.

What now?

It is too soon to say because we have yet to properly start our journey through Destruction and what it is about.

That said, there are two things that are worth highlighting. The first is a motif Rwby is following, while the second is a general theme found in many stories.

1) As @hamliet has stated in many metas and as I have written here, Rwby is an alchemical story. Alchemical stories are usually marked by three important deaths. Each death is symbolically linked to a color. They are usually black, white and red. However, sometimes there can be yellow instead of the white or the red. This is the case here, where a resonant death is the yellow death aka Penny’s.

It is a death that happens while the characters are surrounded by yellow:

And it happens through a weapon called “Yellow Death” (Crocea Mors’s meaning). So, it is really not subtle. Penny’s death is meant to mark an important passage for our protagonists, just like Pyrrha’s one (the black death).

2) It is common in stories that deal with healers to explore the concept of death as well.

The basic idea is that a healer is a person meant to cure. That said, they will meet people impossible to cure and that will die on their watch. This is an unescapable truth a true healer must live with.

Let’s highlight this theme is found in works very different for genre and culture.

Let’s have two examples.

Scrubs aka an American comedy about doctors deals with this theme multiple times. In many episodes the characters must simply accept they can’t save a life, but must still not lose hope and keep on living themselves.

Yosano from the manga BSD says so:

Her backstory explores the link bewteen life and death further since it is shown that a power that cures fatal wounds can be used to cheapen life itself:

It is too soon to say if Rwby will explore a similar theme, but the fact that Jaune, (the healer) is the one that has to speed up Penny’s death might be a very powerful and poignant choice. This is true especially because Rwby does not refuse Destruction (and so does not refuse death), but presents it as a principle equal to Creation (so as a part of life).

THE CHOOSING HERO

Jaune’s arc is about living Pyrrha’s death over and over again with different scenarios and outcomes. This happens so that in the end he can finally overcome it.

So far, it has happened three times and each time has been in the climax of an important battle.

The Battle of Beacon has him witness powerlessly to Pyrrha’s death (lack of knowledge and passivity).

The Battle of Haven has him saving Weiss (creation).

The Battle of Atlas has him killing Penny (destruction).

What is more, every time Jaune becomes more proactive and conscious of what he is doing.

In Beacon he has no idea of what is happening. He works with little information and things happen to him without him being able to do anything.

In Haven his actions lead to Weiss being in danger, but he manages to save her. That said, he does not do it consciously. He unlocks his Semblance because of emotional stress. It is an unconscious choice and not a conscious one.

In Atlas he makes a specific conscious choice, but it is a choice that is forced on him because of external circumstances. It is also a choice that is meant to challenge and temporally break him.

In other words, he is slowly and painfully approaching Choice aka self-actualization. Right now, he has to face the consequences of Penny’s death, but this will probably lead him to finally enter the Choice stage and to complete his arc by becoming a “hero” aka gold (probably).

At the same time, this final choice will also be about healing and overcoming grief. It will be the final integration with Pyrrha and him being able to honor her legacy.

After all, we have been told from the beginning what Pyrrha’s fate would have been. We’ve just failed to notice:

Pyrrha: For it is in passing that we achieve immortality. Through this, we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all, infinite in distance and unbound by death. I release your soul, and by my shoulder protect thee.

June and Pyrrha’s bond is eternal and she is meant to be the key character in Jaune’s arc. It is only through confronting and finally overcoming her loss that Jaune can finally self actualize and become the person Pyrrha has always known he could be. Pyrrha will symbolically be with him in this struggle. Her memory will protect and inspire him.

#rwby #rwby meta #jaune arc #arkos #rwby arkos #pyrrha nikos #tw: penny's death #jaune x pyrrha #my meta

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