#Sorry little vent?? Maybe??

[canines-crown]

I really wanna call myself a serval therian. Because I know I am. I am a serval!

Hhh... I just. I just don't wanna have so many theriotypes. It makes me feel fake. I know there's nothing wrong with it, there's no limit to how many theriotypes one can have. But... Idk it makes me feel cheap?

I try to ignore and repress the serval feelings too... I also tell myself that I'm not a serval therian because I don't have serval shifts, which doesn't make sense of course. I tell myself that I don't wanna use the label of servalkin because the serval identity came from me awakening my "soul kintype". I tell myself that I'm not my serval, but simply my soul. But the thing is... Labeling myself as a serval would make me so happy. Because I am one.

I don't have shifts. I don't have urges, I don't have instincts. I just am.

[thwackk]

mayb i’ll post my boosters here too

[whatevahwhatevah]

“Oh, now Im floating so high

I blossom and die

Send your storm and your lighting to strike

Me between the eyes”

[fuckingstupidbracket]

like a regular bin, not even recycled or anything

[rileys-battlecats]

i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.

i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.

anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)

[pixelatedraindrops]

Sorry to sound weird or negative here, but after spilling my inner emotions on a discord server I kinda wanna know.

Do you all enjoy what I do here?

Or do you find it repetitive and boring?

[tangledinink]

Hello. I just wanted to say, even if you don’t get enough likes or reposts on any of your comics, you should still be posting them for those people who enjoy them and DO want to read them whenever they can.

Hey bro, I understand what you're saying, and I think maybe your point is supposed to be, like, that I shouldn't worry about notes and stuff? But this is one of quite a few anons/messages of this ilk I've received lately, so here's the thing.

I've literally posted about seventeen different comics on tumblr for you guys over the past three weeks. In addition to multiple illustrated pieces, three fic updates, and two oneshots (that's over 36k words my guy!) in that same timeframe. Quite frankly, that's a lot of content.

I'm really, really glad you guys are enjoying the things I'm making! But please let me publish things at my own pace. When I say that I usually wait for the previous part of a comic to hit a certain number of notes before I publish the next, I mean, like I previously stated, that I'm using it as a way to time things/space things out and give each part a chance to breathe and do the rounds before adding more-- not that me continuing the project is dependant on the amount of attention I receive. But even if it was... it's my right to operate that way if I want to!

And. Like. Yeah, okay, I guess I'll go ahead and delete that other ask about the SepAU thing? 'Cause it's really just resulted in me being informed by people, anonymous or otherwise, that I'm totally screwed, they'll be voting against me, etc etc. and I'm? Not having that fun of a time?,,, Actually?,,, I'm already aware that I will likely lose and that's okay, it's just a game. I'm not going to stop making content because of it, so please don't worry about that. But all these anons and such are really not,,, helping. Nor encouraging me to publish anything else.

So I'd really, really appreciate you guys' patience. I'm not gonna answer any more asks like this. Thank you.

[otrtbs]

“you can just take guns to music concerts in the united states” some of these bitches need to never speak again and i’m so serious about that.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Hey in case y’all were wondering I’m having a bad time

[alicentsgf]

finding out someone you liked years ago liked you back might be the worst thing that has ever happened to any Me ever... i have the sudden lesbian urge to get on a plane.

[welcometogrouchland]

May I ask about your Jason Todd idea? <3

Hm, okay so. How to lay this out sensitively since I know it might be a tad controversial...

Prefacing by saying I'm not an expert on the minutias of Jason characterization. I like him when he appears, I think the battle for the cowl/Morrison era and some parts of modern era for him are Weird and Bad, but I'm not Jason scholar (for that I'd say maybe check out @/tumblingxelian and their great video essays), I'm just trying to think of what might be an interesting step forward for him.

First, the canon facts

Jason got lobotomized and has panic disorder on steroids. By the end of Gotham War (specifically when Jason was. Flying the batplane into the asteroid. God I can't believe that's the plot) he was finding it in himself to power through said panics

In Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing #12, the joker gives Jason a "low dose" of joker venom, which has an ambiguous effect on Jason, allowing him to power through the fear (which joker explicitly states is still very much present, just not physically debilitating, like when Jason couldn't run over in either Catwoman #57 or #58, the one with the kid in the building) even though he'd been able to do that sans venom over in Gotham War, like I previously stated.

The effect of said joker venom seems to be lingering for now, minus the creepy grin side effect it gave Jason over in that man who stopped laughing issue, as seen in the latest batman issue (number is escaping me rn, #147??). He still has the stutter which is a shorthand for fear, he's drawn with fearful expressions by Jorge Jimenez, but he says that he's "working through it" thanks to the chemicals

This is both super interesting and kind of maddening as it doesn't completely remove the consequences of what happened in Gotham War, but is trying to sweep them under the rug and get back to business as usual. I, however, propose making said consequences front and center like a fashionable urn on a mantle piece:

Since it's never stated how exactly the joker venom works, and I think the current answer is "it works how the story needs it to" I've decided that because it's a low dose, it eventually wears off. And when it wears off, Jason's back to square one in terms of mental state. Ergo, if Jason doesn't want to live the rest of his life as quaking shivering husk of his former self...he's going to need more.

(read more for the meat of things)

So, Jason self medicates for a condition given to him by the father he has endlessly complicated feelings towards with a cure invented by a man who represents everything he hates in the world who once tried to take everything from him.

Which, insert poetic cinema gif here, I'm quite proud of myself for that one.

Anyway, there's a lot of directions you could take this. Personally I think it'd be interesting to explore Jason trying to get back into the drug trade like he did in UTRH (FULL TRANSPARENCY I HAVEN'T READ THE FULL COMIC, I KNOW BROADSTROKES BUT IM NOT GONNA TRY AND MAKE PARALLELS) as he tries to use the resources (production plants and other drug runners who can hook him up with samples of joker toxin/similar stuff you can probably find around Gotham) to manufacture his own cure that means never having to go back to the joker again. Maybe he ambushes a joker toxin chemical production plant to get his own supply, and then Jason uses this as his foothold back into that world.

This isn't necessarily me saying we should regress Jason alll the way back to UTRH, that was before his anti-hero era and I'm not willing to fully shoot him back into the past. I just think that's not how you tell good stories in a medium like comics. But it'd inherently be a little different just bc he's doing it for different, slightly more self motivated (depending on your take on villain Jason) reasons and the people around him would have a different reaction to it.

Anyway, all sorts of problems can arise! Depending on how you wanna characterize Jason (wayward son who longs to be back in the fold or black sheep who doesn't play by daddy's rules, etc) he can either a) try and hide this criminal enterprise from his giant family full of nosy detectives (good idea there jay) OR do it out in the open, trying to justify himself but still putting himself on the opposite side of the family again (not the law bc that boy hasn't been on the 'right' side of it since he died)

There's also the fact that Jason now needs to take something 24/7 in order to live his life. He essentially can't be without it, he's dependent on it, in fact he'd get sick without it despite any adverse effects it may have on him (which are guaranteed, I mean. No clinical trials)

I imagine it'd be easy to become addicted to it in some way.

And uh. This is the part where it works slightly better as a fanfic pitch than an actual comic pitch. Because as much as I think it'd be such an interesting beat for Jason's character considering his fraught history with addiction and drugs (looks away from that one urban legends story where he suggests terrorising addicts to get to the suppliers and bruce lectures him. The easiest way to make Mr "we don't sell drugs to children" sympathetic and you beefed it)

I also fully recognise that this is a sensitive topic that DC doesn't have the best track record with (although addicts aren't a monolith and feel a number of ways about addictions portrayals in comics) and that there's probably some pitfalls inherent in the premise, namely bc of Jason's background as an impoverished kid and his grey morality, and how those play into stereotypes of addicts. Addiction is already such a misunderstood and stigmatized condition that I imagine playing with it with an antihero might be enough to turn some people off. Addiction is not a moral failing and I'd hate to write it as a moral failing of Jason akin to his willingness to kill, etc.

But with all that said, I think that stereotypes are primarily harmful because of their shallowness. They inhibit understanding of groups labeled "other" by presenting them in simplistic ways that don't portray richness or complexity. And I think a truly good red hood comic could give both sympathy and complexity to Jason, even as an addict. If anything, Jason is a popular character (mostly) and there could be something nice about seeing a main character go through what you're going through, gritty details and all. YMMV (can we bring that back btw?) and it depends on execution. There's a lot of ways it could go wrong, but seeing as it just lives as a hypothetical rn, I think there's also a lot of ways it could go. I mean, not right, it's a downer story beat for Jason but it's mostly meant to be interesting and a vehicle for more stories as Jason navigates it, ya know?

Anyway, I have a lot of spiels littered in my notes app and discord DMs that elaborate on all this (how this could work as act 1 in a broader Jason story where his little operation goes to shit and he has to hit the road (jack) and maybe do some character development for better or worse. I'm a sucker and wanna say better- not squeaky clean better but. Yknow, finding himself to an extent. I recognise I'm a sap and a fool tho. Or how a new outlaws team could factor into either of those eras (since I do like Jason with an outlaws team. It gives him an excuse to exercise his compelling relationships and dynamics with other characters without having to constantly tip-toe around the elephant in the room whenever he's with the batfamily all the time. He just needs a good lineup) but that's all for another time

... though without elaborating on the vision in my head it kind of just sounds like my pitch is "Jason gets addicted to his hyper-anxiety medication" BUT I SWEAR ITS MORE THAN THAT.

It's like. If Jason has struggled as a character (and this is very subjective on my part so feel free to disagree) because he has compelling relationships with all of the batfamily, but also has compelling grey morality that makes it hard to capitalize on those relationships, without the conflict always coming to "Jason stop killing!" "Nuh uh!" OR just being ignored, and the main way writers have addressed this is via reboots instead of arcs...

Then giving Jason and the bats:

real, legitimate and fresh reason for jay to be mad at Bruce (taking their relationship of love with very little understanding to it's most dramatic conclusion)

give the family a real reason to want to bring him back into the fold (feel bad about the lobotomy and it would be pretty immoral to let Jason waste away slowly and painfully because of something Bruce did)

capitalize on all the ways Jason is sympathetic (bc the addiction is a natural lead into his backstory, which is one of his most sympathetic elements)

And the ways in which he's very out of step with the bats post-resurrection (I'd be mad asf too if i came back to life just for my dad to a) not avenge me and b) LOBOTOMIZE ME meanwhile the cunt ass clown giving me my meds is just lurking out there).

Idk it's not a sophisticated pitch as of this moment but I think a real chef (writer) could cook something w/ this

[vellichorsdesire]

personally i think laying on my f/o’s chest their hand patting my head with the other arm wrapped tightly around me while i cry no judgement from them whatsoever would fix me

[thenamessparkplug]

shoutout to my old 4th grade teacher for being more supportive of me one time 6 months ago than my own mother's ever been< 3333

[peculiar--princess]

I wish I had girl friends to spend my birthday with. I wish we could go shopping and get our nails done and watch horror films together.

[starheirxero]

btw for the record if we have ever been in a situation where we had to stop being friends for whatever reason, i will still always hold you fondly in my heart. i will still think of every kind and small moment we had and i will miss you with every atom in my body. i will wait for you to come back and if you return, you will be no less of a friend to me than the day you left. i have no friendship decay

[manuinout]

Me, who's an anxious and sensitive auDHD that feels absolutely scared of watching anything Inside Out related that isn't from the only Pixar account I see, scared of having a heart attack: