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conchcronch · 12 days

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Primal Hunger

Astarion x You

You and your party are currently taking a rare moment of respite at the Last Light Inn. Everyone is fast asleep in preparation for what you can only assume is going to be a lengthy battle with whatever waits for you at Moonrise, everyone except a certain pale elf who has been acting even more prickly then normal. Of course you have to go find him, it’s really the only option.

NSFW Below the Cut

You rolled over, sitting up and glancing around the room we had all piled into the moment we had gotten to Last Light, wanting to take every chance we had to rest up before storming Moonlight tomorrow.

You mentally took a head count out of habit, Shadowheart, Karlach, Wyll, and Gale, who had fallen asleep with a tome on his face, but there was one missing. The one who had been acting more irritable and standoff-ish than usual. You pulled yourself out of the bed, a shiver running down your spine as your bare feet touched the cold wooden floors. You reach over and grabbed the blanket that was folded at the bottom of the bed, wrapping it around yourself. You open the door just enough to squeeze out and shut it behind you. The inn was as silent as it could get, the crackle of the fire in the makeshift kitchen was the only sound, you could hear gentle chanting from Isabel’s room as you tiptoe by.

The night air is frigid and stagnant, no breeze could be felt despite being surrounded by water. The torches and the radiant glow surrounded the whole area, making it easy enough to glance outside the inn to see the man is no where in sight. Begrudgingly, you step outside, still barefooted, the dirt under your feet feels oddly familiar after spending so many nights at camp. As you walk behind the inn towards the water and small dock you can hear a quiet curse as you round the corner.

There he is, almost completely obscured. If you hadn’t been looking for him you would have walked right by. It was hard to make him out as he crouched in the shadow of the balcony of the inn. “There you are,” You take a step towards him only to see his form step backwards.

“Go away.” His tone is curt and sharp, a broken breath that you can barely hear.

“You’ve been off all day, I’ve been worried,” Another step closer from you to which he steps back, like a dance of avoidance has been enacted between the two of you.

“I’ll be fine, I just…I just need you to leave.” You’ve never heard this tone from him, you’ve heard him be smug, rude, sincere (you think) and even mean, but this is different. There is a hint of desperation underlining each word.

“I’m not going to leave.” You say gently, reaching a hand out to him, almost as though you’re showing him you aren’t hiding a dagger behind your back.

“You need to go.” He steps back again, but as he does this he leaves the shadows that has been shrouding him. The moon seems brighter tonight, maybe Isabel is preying harder than normal or maybe it’s just how the light reflects off his near translucent skin. The lines in his face are deeper, his features more sunken in than they seemed even a few hours ago. His eyes appear more black than red and his lips are dry and so cracked they would have probably bled if he had any blood of his own.

“Gods,” You whisper before you can stop yourself. You can see him cringe at the word, he looks away and you swear you saw a slight quiver of his chin. You can tell he’s about to bolt so you clear the distance between the two of you before he has time to react, clearly his reflexes are dulled in his current state. You grab his wrist tightly. He tugs weakly once, twice, then gives in. “Tell me what’s wrong.” You cup his cheek and pull his face towards you, seeing his eyes up close, you know something is wrong.

“I haven’t eaten.”

“For how long?” He used his free hand to rub his face, sighing heavily.

“Not since we left the Underdark.”

“That was four days ago, Astarion!” You scold.

“Obviously that wasn’t my goal,” He replies, nose scrunching as he speaks.

“Why don’t we go and find you something to eat? I can hold the lantern so the shadows st-“

“Absolutely not, for so many reasons.” He tears his arm from your grasp, but doesn’t leave.

“Why not?”

“Hm, let me see, for starters, you will never see me hunt, ever.” He looks at you and you can tell he’s serious. “Second, I can’t eat anything from out there,” He dramatically points in the direction of the cursed lands.

“What about the Ox?” You ask, pointing to that creature that has been giving you looks since the Grove. You couldn’t put your finger on it but something seemed really off about it, and maybe having Astarion drain it wouldn’t be the worst thing.

“I can last a few more days,” He says, clearly trying to convince himself as well as you.

“You don’t look like you can.” The hand that’s still on his cheek trails down to his shoulder, you want to move it lower, to feel his chest inhale and exhale the unnecessary breaths he takes.

“All we have to do is return those ridiculous orbs and find whatever this relic is, then we’ll be rid of this place. Then I can eat.” You know deep in your heart that there’s way more to tomorrow than finding the Nightsong and getting out of here. But you don’t want to debate that with him.

“I need you at your best tomorrow. We don’t know what’s down there and I can’t risk you acting impulsive.” You hold his face with both hands now, forcing him to look at you and only you.

“Rude.” Is all he can manage.

“Astarion, you need to eat.”

“Oh do I? See I thought if I just wait around eventually I’ll start to feel better.” You’re not in the mood for his tood, and he can tell that by your unimpressed expression. “I’m open to ideas, but all of your’s have been rather shit thus far.” You wrap your arms around his waist, ear against his chest where a heart beat once was, but hasn’t been for 2 centuries.

“My sweet, I can’t be this close to you right now…” His voice is clearly showing his restraint but you tighten your arms around his waist before he has a chance to pull away.

“Just ask.”

“No.” His voice was tight and he pulls his head away as though you smell foul.

“What if I offer?” You leaned forward, standing up on your toes so you can press your lips to his scar.

“I won’t be able to stop.” His voice shakes.

“You’ve stopped before.”

“Not when I’m this hungry.” You let go of him, opting to cup his cheeks in both hands, guiding him to look at you. His eyes are glassy and you can tell for the first time since you had met him that his mask was cracking and you were seeing the real Astarion.

“I know you,” Slowly your words began to sink in and you saw him begin to relax into your grasp. Moving carefully, as though he was trying to avoid spooking an animal, he leaned into you, resting his head on your shoulder and you nuzzling into the crook of his neck. You could feel him breathe in your scent, a broken whine barely slipping from his chapped lips. “I trust you, my love.”

“I’m just so hungry.” He all but sobbed into you as you rubbed his back in an attempt to sooth him.

“I know my sweet, I’m right here. Take what you need.” He whines again as his nose brushes against your neck.

”If I don’t stop y-“

“You will.” You cut him off.

”If I don’t,” He tears himself away from your neck looking at you with a clenched jaw. “You do whatever you have to to get me away from me.” You nod but know it’s not enough for him “I need to hear you agree.” His hands are on your waist, you can feel the pads of his fingers press into your shirt.

“I promise.” You barely get the words out before he’s at your neck. First is the feeling of his tongue, immediately finding your pulse point before the familiar sting of his fangs piercing the skin takes over.

You try to focus on anything other than the pain. A practice you had adopted early into the relationship. You hone in on the way his fingers grip at your sleep shirt, balling the fabric in his fists. The way he pulls you against him to a point where it almost hurts. He’s moaning into your neck as his tongue laps against your skin, trying to take all he can. He lets go of your shirt but only long enough to slip under your clothes, desperate for the warmth your body is offering him. Your eyes flutter closed when you feel your knees start to weaken, having no intention of stopping him if this is what he needs, you’re not going to stop him.

You’re barely aware of his fangs pulling from your neck or the long lick of his tongue cleaning your skin before he steps back. He’s panting, your blood smeared all over his lips. “Gods,” You know you’re paler than before, you can feel your head swim for a moment before he grabs you, guiding you to sit on the grass beneath your feet. “I think that was better than the first time.”

You reach out, dragging your thumb over his lips to collect as much of your blood from him as you can before bringing it to his lips. His tongue immediately darts out before he encircles your small wrist and guides your thumb into his mouth, lips wrapping around the digit and sucking hard. He can’t help the moan, his eyes fluttering closed to savor the way it felt to finally find sustenance. His eyes eventually open and his grip on your wrist loosens to allow your thumb to fall from his lips. He looks at you for the first time since you had sat down, he takes in your paler skin and the ways your eyelids seem heavier than they had in days. ”I didn’t even ask,” He brings a hand to you, pushing some of your hair behind your pointed ears. “Are you alright?” His voice was softer than it had been since you had left the Underdark and as you nod slowly. He exhales a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “I feel alright, how do you feel?”

He moves from kneeling to sitting beside you, pushing his hand through his curled hair, “I haven’t felt this good in decades.” He laughs lightly, “And once again, I’m indebted to you for saving my life.” You sigh out a laugh before leaning your head on his shoulder.

”I’m just glad to see you’re back to your usual fickle but cocky self.” He laughs, the sound is music to your ears.

“Was I that bad?” You internally debate how honest you should be, one side of you wanting to be honest for the sake of your party but the other side wanting to cut him some slack since he wasn’t himself.

“You were-“ You chose your words carefully, taking time to select the most accurate descriptor you could, “more difficult than normal, especially to Gale.” He laughed, the tips of his fangs catching the moonlight in a spectacular way.

“Well, as long as it was only Gale.” A comfortable silence falls between you, he turns his head to press a kiss to your hair before shifting onto his hip so he’s facing you. With a single finger he pulls your chin up, his lips pressing to yours in what felt like the first time in forever. “My poor pup,” His lips move over yours, his breath smelling like nothing, a trait that had caught you off guard weeks ago but you now found oddly comforting. “I’ve been neglecting you” He gently tsks as he tilts your head to the side, exposing the fresh puncture marks he had left. “Would you allow me to make it up to you?” He breathes between kisses to your neck that are very slowly moving further down.

“A-all the rooms are full.” The sound of your own stutter surprises you, your body reacting much quicker then it had, even more so then the first time he had propositioned you after the goblin camp. His hand slipped under your camp shirt, your stomach tightening at his chilled touch as it slowly slid from your navel to just under your breast.

“We’ve done it outside before, what’s another time?” He notices the way your eyes scan the makeshift safe haven, the way you whip your head around at the sound of a guard doing a patrol along the balcony, knowing they would get quite a show. He pushes himself up, extending a hand to you. You take it, allowing him to pull you up before leading you underneath the balcony where you had first found him shrouded by shadow. “Is this more to your liking?” You nod, feeling better pressed against the cool wood of the tavern.

He kisses you again, this time slowly. His tongue sliding along the roof of your mouth before pulling back just long enough for you to whine until he leaned back in again. His hands both slipped under your shirt, no longer playing coy and running the pads of his thumbs over your pebbled nipples simultaneously, earning a heavy sigh into the kiss. “My sweet, I want to show you how grateful I am to you for taking such a risk just to feed a pitiful vampire.” You run a hand through his curled tresses, enjoying the way he leaned into your touch.

“Don’t sell yourself short, you’re pretty handsome too.” You smile, he returns it.

“A pitiful, but handsome vampire then.” Without another word he drops to his knees. One hand opting to grab your hip, pushing you against the wall as though you were going to slip away if he let you go. The other he used to guide your leg over his shoulder then pushing your long skirt up your thigh until you took the signal and held it in place so he could use his now free hand to pull aside your panties. A heavy sigh leaving your lips as soon as you felt his breath on your neglected core. “It truly has been a long time, hasn’t it?” His hand touches you before his mouth, his fingers pulling you open before his nose nudges against your clit, his eyes watching you the same way you’re sure he watches his prey.

“It-it hasn’t been that long…” You lie, a whine coming from your throat as his tongue licked a long strip and you could feel him smile against you.

“I’ve left my sweet pet neglected, but I’ll be sure to make it up to you.” His breath is burning hot against you, and it takes everything you have not to grab his head and force his face into you. And as though he was using that pesky tadpole to read your thoughts, he wastes no more time and flicks the tip of his tongue against your clit as he slips a single finger into you. You can feel him hum as he pulls the finger from you, pulls his head back so he’s sure you can see how he licks the digit, sucking your slick clean off. “Every part of you tastes,” He pauses to exhale heavily, “exquisite” you couldn’t help but moan at his words, your head lolling back when he finally slipped the finger back inside of you.

As he adds a second finger inside of you, his lips encircling your clit and sucking not hard enough to hurt, but just enough to provide stimulation as his fingers stretched you open. Your fingers find their rightful place tangled in his curls, feeling how he hums into you when you tug gently. “Please, my sweet,” he moans against your core, his breath coming out in hot puffs against you. “I need you to cum on my tongue.” His tone has morphed into a whine, his lips releasing your clit in favor of licking long stripes from your hole, slipping past the muscle to momentarily join his fingers before moving up to your bundle of nerves for a second, repeating this over and over. He adds a third finger but you barely notice, your fingers locking his hair in a tight fist while your other hand is held over your mouth to keep from drawing any attention. Your hips begin to move with him, your mound chasing after his tongue if it leaves you for even a second. He can feel that you're close, your walls tremble with each thrust of your hips and your thighs are covered in your own juices. His lips return to your clit once more, his hand that wasn’t inside of you moving up to have a tight grip on your hip as he flicks his gaze up to you. He clocks the way your knees tremble when you stare down at him, meeting his gaze. He wishes you would remove your hand from your mouth so he could hear all your beautiful noises, all the breathy moans, all the shakey pleas. But those would have to wait until you had a proper room, or at the very least, his tent.

He pulls his lips away from your clit just long enough to speak, his fingers producing an absolutely filthy squelch every time they were thrusted inside fully, “My pet, I need you to cum for me,” You nod with eyebrows knit together, your hair falling in front of your face but you can’t tear your eyes away from his. “Can you do that for me?” You watch as he teasingly flicks the tip of his tongue against your nub before pressing his mouth against you again. You can feel him moan into you, feel the way he lets his fangs graze over your most sensitive tissue, but what truly sends you cascading over the edge was the way he had caught your ankle between his thighs and was at the point of rutting against you, his tented trousers feeling cool against your bare leg. The wave of orgasm washed over you like a welcomed tsunami, you were thankful for the hand you had over your mouth because there was no way in heavens or hells you were able to stop the way your mouth hung open, your moans turning into whimpers as your bucking against his face sputtered before slowing as you rode it out. His fingers remained inside of you, very slowly moving in and out of your soaked hole until your hips came to a complete stop.

When your eyes finally opened, you were greeted with the sight of Astarion who had shifted to sitting between your legs, his erection very apparent as he greedily licked and sucked as his fingers, his eyes trained on yours. “And here I thought your blood was the most delicious thing about you.” His voice was smug but the smile that spread across his glossy lips was sincere.

You couldn’t resist him much longer. Your apprehension of there being people around was forgotten the moment you saw the way he was sucking at his fingers, his fingers that mere seconds ago had been deep inside you, lolling you to your crashing orgasm. And now you wanted to return the favor, you wanted to be the reason people were closing their windows in the tavern, the reason your party were holding pillows over their heads in an attempt to block out the moans you unsuccessfully tried to muffle.

You were quick to drop to the ground, and even quicker to close the distance between him and you. Your hand was the first part of you to touch him, loving the way he let out a heavy sign before leaning forward in search of a kiss. His lips tasted like you, both your blood and your arousal, two tastes you had quickly become accustomed to when it came to having him as a partner. The way his fangs grazed over your lips as you kissed sent a tingle all the way down to your soaked core that was already ready to go again. You press a hand to his chest with just a little bit of force behind it, pushing him back to the ground. Before he can question you, likely to complain that you dared to end the kiss before he was ready, you reached between your legs to pull your panties off completely, balling them up and shoving them into one of his pant pockets. His furrowed brow immediately relaxed when you straddled his hips, knowing you instantly made the front of his trousers wet but not caring in the slightest. You ground against his covered crotch a few times, watching as his brows knitted together again, his eyes squeezing shut as a growl came from deep in the back of his throat. He didn’t have to say anything, you knew he was frustratingly swollen, and truthfully as much as you love teasing him whenever given the chance, but it had been much too long and you found yourself nothing short of feral.

You made quick work of the laces holding his pants closed, wrenching them open the moment they were loose enough. You pushed his blue underwear down and couldn’t help the moan when you finally held his member in your hand. His hips subconsciously bucked urging you to run your thumb over the bead of precum at the tip, smearing it over his head. You loved the moments where he became putty in your hand. The times when he would be whiny, begging you to do anything to him, rutting against you while nearly sobbing into your mouth as though he had never been touched before. You sat yourself on the tops of his thighs, your hand slowly working his girthy cock, leaning down to press your lips to his neck. The smell of bergamot and rosemary filled your nostrils, a whine could be heard at the back of his throat when you sucked at the scars on his neck. You could see the tips of his fangs as he chewed at his bottom lip trying to keep himself quiet as you worked your hand up and down his shaft, working your wrist in a circular rhythm. “You’re so needy” you breathe against his neck, his hips canting at your words.

“You’re one to talk.” A sentence that would normally be dripping in snark is instead said like a plea.

“Is that anyway to speak to your savior?” You couldn’t hold back the smile that danced across your lips at the thought of you being his savior. The ache between your legs was becoming more than you wished to bear. You let go of his member, a soft ah fell from his open lips as you brought yourself up on your knees just enough to be able to guide him to your entrance. You rubbed his head along your lips a few times, using your hand to hold up the front of your skirt so he can see the way his cock nudged against your clit before you push it back towards your dripping hole. Before you can push him inside, his cool hands run up your thighs until they can grab your hips applying just enough downward force to get the message across. You lower yourself down, feeling every inch of him slide into you, the slight burn of his girth stretching you out more than his fingers could have. Your skirt falls from your hand as you brace yourself on his still cloth covered chest, your fingers clawing at the fabric.

“Gods” He breathes as he bottoms out, a hand pulling out from under your skirt to pull at the lances holding your shirt closed, his pace getting more and more desperate the longer it takes before he just starts pulling at them until it’s loose enough he can wrench the fabric below your breasts. You begin riding him, pulling off him slowly before inching back, loving the way you stretched wider then any partner has before. With his free hand he grabs the fabric that’s bunched under your chest, yanking you down to him, catching you completely off guard, almost causing you to lose your balance before he catches you with his lips to yours. His hand that had been on your chest somehow snaked to your hip, balling your skirt in his fist and trying to set the pace of your bounces. ”Go faster, gods dammit”

“A-Astarion” You moaned into him, trying to pull back from him to speak again but his lips chanced your’s anytime you tried to flee. You began moving your hips in a circle, wanting to lean back so you could force his cock to hit against your spongy g spot but his grip on your shirt held you firmly in place. When you manage to open your eyes you’re greeted with his crimson gaze, his lips parted enough that you can see his tongue sliding between his parted teeth watching your every move. You can’t help but wantonly moaning at the attention, his girth filling you in a way nothing else did. Your eyes flutter closed once more, the sound of your slick against his leather pants seems deafening, only being dwarfed by any moan that slips past your lips.

“You’re doing so good for me.” His voice sounds as though it’s dripping in honey, the tone alone making you whine. He thrusted his hips up, his tip hitting you as deep as it could. “I wish I could have you splayed out to toy with all night.” You drop your head, your long hair falling in front of your face as though it were a makeshift veil that he has to slip the hand through just to pull your face up to look at him again. “Don’t you dare hide from me, little minx.” His tone is almost mocking, but it only serves to make you even wetter, something you were confident wasn’t even possible. ”I have a task for you.” His thumb glides from your chin to your lips, his thumb guiding your mouth open enough that he could slip it through your teeth, toying with your tongue. He allows you to nod, almost helping you move your head up and down. “I want you to cum on my cock,” His eyes follow the way you sway, the burning iron in your gut searing white hot and your thighs beginning to feel like the jelly Gale spreads on his toast every morning with his cup of tea. “Can you do that for me?” His thumb slips from your mouth, opting to caress your neck with feather light touches, lingering over your fresh puncture marks. You nod but he smiles, shaking his head “No no my pet, I need to hear you say it.” You can tell he’s enjoying this game, a game you didn’t agree to play but were happily participating in all the same.

“Yes.” Your voice is raw like metal over a grinding wheel, clearly you had been moaning louder then you realized.

“What a good girl.” His light touches turned to a grasp, his fingers wrapping around your neck not with the intention of restricting air flow, but as a means of control. He pushed you back, your back arching beautifully, your chest for all to see if someone happened to be around. You’re quick to catch yourself, your hands on his thighs as you begin to chase the feeling you’ve been dancing around since you got on top of him. With his free hand he grabs the fabric of your skirt, pinning it to your side where he holds you so he’s able to watch you take him with ease. He watches every time his pale cock slides out from your soaked hole, his shaft glistening in your slick. He wants to speak, wants to tell you how good you look taking him with such ease, how he’s trained you so well, but instead he turns his focus to chasing his own climax, hips thrusting up as much as the position would allow. His grip on your neck slips, opting to toy with your pebbled nipple, your mouth falling open as a whine comes out, his eyes switching from your cunt to your cock drunk expression. Your mouth is hanging open and your eyes closed, focused on throwing yourself over the edge.

Orgasm crashes into like force damage, knocking the wind from your lungs. His grip is back on your neck as you lose any real control over your body, riding him through your climax. You barely register how he pulls you down, his head resting on his shoulder, your lips grazing his neck as you feel him begin to thrust into you at an erratic pace. “I’m going to-“ He grunts his arms wrapping around your body, holding you tight against him as he rushes towards his peak “I’m going to make you mine” He growls in your ear before sinking his teeth into you again, barely a breath before you feel his warmth flood you. His hips sputtering, fucking his seed into you as his nails bit into the clothes you’re somehow still clad in. He pulls his fangs from your neck, his tongue greedily lapping at the blood that flows from the wounds. His thrusts become weaker until they finally slow to a stop, he’s holding onto you but you’re no longer in a vice grip. With one final suck on your neck he pulls away, his body going limp, finally satiated. You follow him, laying down on his chest, his softening cock slipped from you and the feeling of his seed cooling between your thighs would normally force you to your feet with the intention of cleaning up but not tonight. Tonight you laid on top of him trying to catch your breath that had long since raced away from you. His arms encircling your waist as though you were going to get up and leave at any second. Astarion found great comfort in your breathing, feeling your heartbeat against his long stilled chest felt strangely calming, as though you shared that steady rhythmic beat.

#ao3 #ao3 author #astarion x reader #astarion smut #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate tav #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x you

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cozycottagetarot · 2 months

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PAC: How Can You Break The Cycle

Messages From Elle: We did it guys!😮‍💨

Notes:

This PAC Covers:

What is the cycle?

What keeps it going?

What will it take to break it?

What could that look like for you? (Patreon Extended)

‼️ THIS READING IS MEANT FOR SELF-REFLECTION AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY -- While this reading does broach topics relating to mental health & mindset, contain a bit of advice and reflective questions, IT'S IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM MEANT TO REPLACE PROFESSIONAL ADVICE OF ANY KIND. Please use your discretion, think carefully before you act and only take what resonates be it a little, some or none at all. ‼️

Reading Masterlist | Patreon | Paid Readings -- Open 🥂

PILE 1 (Brick Wall)

Current Energy

Cards: 10 of cups, The Empress, The Chariot

I feel as though you’re currently in this energy where things couldn’t be better…. But then why are you here? I know that's my job to figure out but still. I feel like you’ve been making strides to create the life that you want. You’re charging forward, becoming more disciplined and things are starting to feel warm.

The cycle that needs to be broken:

Cards: The Wheel of Fortune, Nine of Wands, Page of Pentacles, Four of Wands

The cycle that needs to be broken is one of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’re tired of fighting or always fending off the downward turn of the wheel of fortune and while you may try to keep your faith that things can get better and stay better, you're always expecting things to get bad again. You could be worried the new beginning won't start, the relationships won't come, or the financial abundance won't find you. I think this fear or vigilance has such a tight hold on you, that you end up not taking action. You may need to readjust your game plan. You don't allow yourself to relax. You don't allow yourself to celebrate your wins… you're always in this state of hyper vigilance.

What keeps the cycle going?

Cards: The Sun, The High Priestess, Two of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles

I don’t think you really allow yourself to be happy. That may be the current energy I was picking up on as well. When things are going great you don’t really let them go great. I also think you’re neglecting the things that are really important to you inside… maybe so much that you don’t even know what those things are anymore. Not knowing how to navigate this internal world of yours keeps fueling this cycle of 'oh, what bad thing will happen next?' You may also have a hard time making decisions or generally deciding what you want, floating back and forth between options. This back-and-forth stops you from actually putting in the work it takes to succeed and enjoy the FULL results, therefore keeping the cycle going. Another thing I picked up on is maybe the wheel keeps turning back and forth as well because from going back and forth all the time, you’re never really getting to move past the lessons you may need to learn in order for you to reach your desired outcome or abundance.

What will it take to break this cycle:

Cards: Seven of Cups, Five of Cups, Two of Cups, Ace of Pentacles

If you want to break this cycle, you have to make a decision on what exactly it is you want. It might mean leaving behind something, but you have to remember that so much more also awaits you in the process. Stop dwelling on what has gone 'wrong' before, especially if it’s past events that influence your lack of decision. It's okay to have that vigilance and use the past to better navigate the future-- HOWEVER, it's also important to get honest with yourself about whether it's a valid concern or a fear talking. It's time to change your mindset to focus on what can go right. I think also there will be someone available to help you once you make a decision about what you want to pursue. The alternate I'm getting is that you have to allow yourself to lean on others if you want to break the cycle. This could be through personal and professional relationships. But you have to actually decide yes, this is what you want. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to change as you grow, but first, you have to plant the seed. Once your seedling sprouts you can cultivate your plant however you’d like. There’s a lot out there available to you but making the decision to move towards it is where it begins.

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next pac!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

PILE 2 (Statue)

Current Energy:

Cards: King of Wands, The Star, The Tower rev, Queen of Wands

I see you showing up as being in a hopeful energy and that good fortune of some kind is coming your way. A good balance of masculine and feminine energy. There’s a sense of resisting something internally, however. A transition of some kind that you're wanting to make. It seems like it could be good for you and a lot of different areas in your life would improve, but what you know or are accustomed to might clash with what you want. However, you have what it takes to succeed. If you were drawn to pile 1, after reading this pile consider checking it out as well.

The cycle that needs to end:

Cards: Eight of Swords, The Devil, Ten of Swords, Knight of Swords

I feel like you’ve got a gloomy inner world. Very melancholy. You’re turning a blind eye to the things that are holding you back and draining your energy. It feels like you almost escape it but it gets you every time. You might not take the best care of yourself mentally or physically. With all the swords it could be a mental thing too and it’s important that you get (professional) help and take those steps (of taking better care of yourself). The cycle that needs to break is you getting stuck in this energy.

What keeps the cycle going:

Cards: Four of Swords, Eight of Cups rev, Ace of Wands rev, Ace of Cups

You don’t rest. You won’t walk away from the things draining your energy. You won’t open up your heart and you won’t do anything with your creative sparks... more or less.

It’s so important that you take a moment to take a good pause and regroup. You could find yourself turning to poor coping mechanisms and that's not good. You can't try to leave a bad situation either if you don’t know what made it bad. You also have to sometimes stick things out. If you tried breaking a habit and it didn't work, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to always have that habit. That’s a bad way of looking at things, and while it’s understandable to feel that way, you still need to work on it. You’re allowed to connect with your emotions and create as well... There's a need to review your plans/goals as well. You can be successful, but may lack the resources to easily be so... that’s also understandable but you can still work with what you do have. You may also lack confidence in you abilities to achieve your goals. You can manifest so many things you want but you have to believe in yourself and open your emotions to be able to connect with the feeling of what you want. It’s easy to say I want XYZ, but if you don’t figure out what that’s going to feel like, then how will you know when you’ve got it? It’s easy to get caught up in material things but the last thing you want is to wake up one day to a life that looks exactly like you wanted it to, only to realize it doesn’t FEEL the way you wanted it to.

What will it take to break the cycle:

Cards: Judgement, The Hierophant, Knight of Wands, Page of Cups

It’s time for you to get it together. Get serious about moving on to the next phase. I feel like it’s all going to work out based on the cards but you really do have to stop holding yourself back. Find a support group. Consider finding creative/artistic ways to express yourself. Step into a leadership role because there’s a good chance you can lend the wisdom you’ve acquired to others… This could be through a social media platform, sharing your writing, attending a local community event, etc. Work on making sure how you’re living aligns with your beliefs and vice versa. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Give yourself your all. I also feel like this is one of those situations where you have to remind yourself that sometimes motivation follows action.

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

PILE 3 (Broken TV)

Current energy:

Cards: Wheel of fortune, Queen of swords, Queen of pentacles, Two of wands

Your current energy is that you've shifted to a 'really good' energy or you're about to shift to a 'really good' energy. The Magician isn't here but that's kind of the energy I'm picking up on here too. Either being very faithful right now that everything is going to work out for you or that's the energy/mindset that you need to tap into. There are options available to you... You need a plan of some kind. You feel unable to move... unequipped even. Thinking about (or needing to) your long-term future. With the two queens, I think you're leaning into one of the two embodiments of the queen, maybe even both. You might have a hard time seeing yourself as either.

The cycle that needs to be broken:

Cards: The Hanged Man, The Tower, The World, Judgement

The other piles were definitely what I would consider a cycle on a loop that needed breaking but yours feels less like a cycle and more like you're just... stuck. You're ready to or have 'level/ed up', but it's as though you're stuck in limbo. This could be because you've gone through a 'tower moment' recently (say within the last year give or take) that's left you stuck in limbo. Or it could be a fear of having a 'tower moment' that is leaving stuck in limbo. Regardless this cycle is one of you needing to bring something to completion.

What keeps the cycle going:

Cards: Knight of Wands, The Emperor, The Sun, Eight of Pentacles, The Fool

You might be rather impatient. When you do things you may expect to see results immediately...that sense of 'oh, I did this tasks once, why don't I feel better 👀'. It could also be that you might not plan out your goals thoroughly or you may not be very clear on what it is that you want to do/achieve. I feel like since you don't take that moment to strategize and figure out what actually needs to be done, this cycle keeps going. You may just charge forth into whatever you think will bring you happiness. However, this means you can't put in the work required which can bring you back to a place of fear and doubt. This can create anxiety and likely catastrophizing which brings us back to that fear of a 'tower moment'. It could also simply be a case of being too laid back? On the flip side, while it's always good to have faith that things will work out, it's important to remember that a lot of times, you still have to play a role in that.

What will it take to break the cycle: Cards: The Star, Justice, Three of Pentacles, Knight of Cups

Have hope, yes. Dream and believe that good things are meant for you and those good things will find you. BUT, balance that with meaningful/conscious action. You must consider the long term. What is the end goal going to look/feel like? What is the journey of getting there going to take? Some of you already have the knowledge you need while others may still need to acquire it. Regardless, learning and implementation will help break the cycle. You have what it takes, but you have to stay the course. It's also important that you use action rather than simply ideas to motivate you. Fall in love with the act of doing.

I also feel like you should make a love list. I initially thought of that while going my first glance at the cards.

Also, do me a favour and take a nap, please! ✋

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

PILE 4 (Hammer)

Note: If you're someone who reads what cards were pulled, I mistyped the Seven suit for Current Energy and The Cycle so now that I'm editing, I realised I have no idea which suit the card belonged to hence the (?). Okay, that's all!

Current energy:

Cards: Seven of Swords(?), Queen of Pentacles, Three of Wands

It's time for you to broaden your horizons, however, you currently have to tread carefully. You could currently be job searching or looking for scholarships etc. There's a lot of opportunities available to you or becoming available to you. But you need to be diligent and read the fine print and get the details to make sure you won't be compromised in the process. It's important though that you be able to maintain a balance between your home/personal and academic/career life. You're in an energy of needing to remember to put yourself first.

The cycle that needs to be broken:

Cards: Two of Swords, The Emperor, Page of Swords, Seven of Wands (?)

The cycle that needs to break is one of constantly being at odds with everyone. I feel like you’re constantly bending over backwards or breaking your neck to try and appease others-- and no matter what you do, it’s not enough. I think this might potentially resonate more with those who are academics. When faced with a decision between what will benefit you vs what will benefit someone else, you have a tendency to either not make a decision of choose the option that will benefit someone else instead. This could be because you either live under someone with authority over you (like a caretaker or family) or you're in a position where you feel like you have to take care of others (siblings/family, partner).

I feel as though for some of you it could also be a romantic relationship? I'm not familiar with 'channeling' through music, but find myself doing it a lot lately. The song 'Lifetime' by Livingston just resonated with part of this pile for some reason. When asking if it’s a romantic situation, I got the cards: Eight of Pentacles, The Devil, and Justice rev. I’m also getting 'the right person, but wrong time'.

I think if it's someone with whom you share romantic feelings for, it's a situation where the relationship likely feels imbalanced and like hard work, but you don't feel like you can step away. If that resonated then that could be it. It could also be any unfair relationship dynamic.

What keeps the cycle going:

Cards: The Hanged Man, Ace of Wands, Death, The Moon, Eight of Swords

I think you’re in a cage of your own making, but not because you can’t see. You can see, but what you’re seeing isn’t clear. Because of this, you tend to end up pressing pause on moving forward. There's a lot of creative energy around you... for some, it's that it's a creative field waiting to accept you. However, you're too afraid to actually go for it and give it your all so I think you keep 'pulling the wool' over your own eyes. I think if there are people around you in opposition to you moving forward, you might see it as a convenient excuse to not move forward and transform into the next stage of your life. It's almost like the cycle doesn't need to be a cycle. You know when you're listening to a song and you keep restarting it 'cause you keep getting interrupted? And sometimes it's just you being extra because it wasn't even your favourite part you're just kind of nitpicking? Yeah, same vibe I'm getting here.

If the relationship resonates: I think you may need to let go of (or loosen your hold on) because they could be holding you back to the point they're dragging you down. Things are shifting for you, especially internally. You could be trying to hold it back though, but in doing so you could burn up and out. You’re seeing what really is and maybe you don’t want to. That’s the part that keeps this cycle going. I see images of a phoenix rising too.

What will it take to break the cycle:

Cards: Queen of Wands, The Chariot rev, Judgement, Three of Pentacles, The World, The Lovers

It’s time to use the things you’ve learned. Let go and let the cycle close. Trust that you’ll find love again or that you’ll find inner harmony. Trust that it will all work out in your favour. Take steps, even if it's baby steps to doing whatever it is you want to do. I feel like I said this already in a different pile, but even if you can't make a complete switch yet, start engaging in the things you want to do or eventually pivot too in small steps. You can always research or engage with it as a hobby for the time being. Also finding balance between who you are and how you show up to the world. Remember you have a lot to offer and it's going to do everyone a whole lot more good in the long run, the more authentically you can show up.

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pac reading #pick a picture #pick a pile reading #pac #cozycottagetarot #cozycottagetarot readings #free reading tarot #tarotblr #free tarot

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dollfaceirene · 3 months

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do better or stay bitter

So i'm finally off my blog posting break and i came up with this idea a few days ago so i decided today to finally write it up as a post today.

Imma cut it short and keep it blunt, some of yall do alot more complaining than changing and its like don't yall find it tiring?

Some of yall will come on apps to complain about "not being able to manifest", someone gives you advice or recommends useful posts and yall read over the post and never actually apply it to your own mindset/state and its like, don't yall find it tiring?

It comes to a point where y'all will be aware that you are re-affirming the same assumptions that simply don't benefit you and keep reinforcing the fact you are in a state of lack rather than actually taking time to reflect and affirm & make assumptions that are actually beneficial to what you want.

☆ lemme give an analogy,

We have Samantha and we have Jessica. Both Jessica and Samantha found out about the law of assumption around the same time and have recently finished their uni degrees.

Both Samantha and Jessica are currently applying to work at their dream jobs. Samantha, working at a bank and Jessica, working as a pharmacist.

Currently, both Samantha and Jessica haven't been having much success with looking for jobs as they either don't get any interviews or just don't get any callbacks.

This put Samantha and Jessica into a spiral of them affirming stuff of lack, e.g. "i will never be able to find a job" and since its their dominant assumptions, they are constantly shown in the 3D that they find it hard to get a job.

One day, Jessica was scrolling through her phone and saw a loa youtube video from a youtuber she subscribed to awhile back. She decides to watch this video and it gives a simplified summary of what the law of assumption is & how to apply it. She decides to keep affirming that she has her desired job no matter what was shown in the 3D. If she saw she didn't get any callbacks, she would keep affirming that she did have her desired job and that she was in control of her reality. Awhile later, she gets an interview to work at a private pharmacy and ends up landing the job there.

Meanwhile Samantha starts to overconsume alot of law of assumption posts, success stories, etc and never wants to apply the information. She always feels insanely jealous of people who have manifested desired things. She one days decides to do a mental diet however, instead of being disciplined with her thoughts & flipping any thoughts that didn't benefit her, only a few hours into the mental diet, she "quits" saying its too hard and that the law of assumption never works for her, even though it is universal & can be used to manifest anything.

the main point i want yall to get is that,

i) anyone is capable of changing their dominant assumptions

ii) only you can change your reality

iii) the law of assumption is neutral

Yall need to stop sitting on the sidelines while reading other success stories wishing it was you, newflash, it can and will be you once you've decided you have that in your reality.

Do better. Start that mental diet, listen to your affirmation tapes, do whatever helps you feel fulfilled or whatever. Stop going back to old story once you see something unfavourable in your 3D. Stop moping around how you "wish the loa will work for you" when it does! it works for everyone, you are no exception.

Be the Jessica of your reality. Be the one who identifies & decides that they have their desire no matter what instead of being the one who allows themselves to be the victim of their reality (which they can easily change) *cough, cough* Samantha.

Words of comfort: i just want to close off this post by saying i know alot of the time, circumstances can be so overwhelming that its so hard to affirm against it and can just be so frustrating at times. I hope you find peacr & comfort in your reality and wishing you all the best <3 rooting for yall, you can do this :)

stay limitless, xoxo irene

#desired reality #law of assumption #shifting #dollfaceirene #loa tumblr #loa #manifestation #loa blog #loassumption #neville goddard #affirmyourreality #affirmations #affirm and persist #affirmdaily #affirmyourlife

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rebeltarot · 3 months

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CAREER ➕ Blessings coming toward you in your career

"I still remember the nights I wished for the things I have now."

[3 piles] ・ [5 decks] ・ [8-10 cards for each pile] ・ [letters, signs, songs]

Hello friends! As we are nearing the end of this quarter I wanted to create a reading all about blessings coming toward you in your career. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. What are your hopes and dreams regarding your career? Do you have any goals you want to achieve in this area this year? Definitely let me know. Regardless of what you are hoping for, I wish you all the best and lots of luck. ♡♡

Painting: Dancers, Pink and Green by Edgar Degas (ca. 1890)

Helpful Links: How to choose your pile ➕ Request a reading

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

PILE 01 ➕

Disclaimer: All Tarot readings on this blog are meant for entertainment purposes only. My Pick-a-card readings are based on my knowledge of the tarot and my intuition. Tarot is a divination tool and should not be considered a replacement for medical or professional guidance. It is not intended to be used as such, and any choices made in response to my readings are your own responsibility. All interpretations are speculative, and whether you believe in it is your choice. Readings are for self-reflection purposes only; take what resonates, and leave the rest. My readings are timeless unless stated otherwise.

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

C, A, R, E, E, I, 3rd House, Mercury, Scorpio

Song: Mother's Daughter (R3HAB Remix) - Miley Cyrus

BLESSINGS COMING TOWARD YOU IN YOUR CAREER

Tarot: 5 of cups, 10 of cups, the sun, the devil rx, 9 of pentacles rx

Oracle: the dragon, the king, emotion, imum coeli, moon in leo

Hello, Pile 01, and welcome to your reading. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. With the 5 of cups, it feels like for the longest time you were struggling in your career. This does not necessarily mean that there was no progress, but it was not emotionally fulfilling for you. This could also talk about a lack-mindset in terms of your career, i.e., not feeling worthy of it or not seeing a future with it. Some of you might feel like an imposter in your current position. Yes, you are wearing the title, but you do not feel like you deserve it. This is where your blessing is happening. It's going to address your hustling mentality and your superficiality in your career. It feels like you might have given more than you were able to, pouring from an empty cup just to feel like you deserve to be where you are. Whatever you were doing, it's unsustainable. I feel like you were once very passionate about your current career but fell out of love with it because you were overworking yourself too much, nearly burning out. What I see coming towards you is something that most would consider extremely lucky, as we have the ladybug in the imagery of this card. 10's in tarot talk about an excess of energy; in this case, it's positive energy. Something significant will happen that will indicate the end of one cycle and ring in a new one of abundance and emotional fulfillment. Your cards are not saying what is going to happen, just how it will affect you, and my god, pile 01, you're going to be so happy with this change. The sun is following the 10 of cups. You will experience a lot of success in your career, which will bring you lots of abundance. There is a sense of alignment and harmony. This most likely refers to your mindset. I feel like you are going to check yourself, and seek out an environment that fulfills you. Implementing the changes that need to be made to end this cycle of adversity and struggle. This is truly a positive spread, especially with the devil reversed ending this. You will step into self-empowerment. There is a sense of breaking free from things (be they people, situations, or mindsets) that held you prisoner. I see you freeing yourself from this hustling mindset and stepping into a deeper understanding of your wants and needs. It feels like you will pay attention to more than your salary in whatever you are doing next. You won't just be swayed by a fancy title and a big paycheck; you are digging deeper; you are looking for and finding something that is truly fulfilling. This does not mean that we are talking about a new job here or a new position. Not necessarily. But rather, I see this as you taking on a new perspective and thus realigning yourself with who you are, including your values and your desires. I see you detaching from superficial aspects of your career and digging deeper into what you need to feel fulfilled.

The dragon and the king are both confirming what we have already seen with the devil reversed. You are stepping into your power and taking charge instead of letting superficial aspects control you. It never brought you any satisfaction. I see you taking charge, especially in terms of legalities. Maybe you are renegotiating your contract, or you are signing a new one, but either way, it's all happening because you wish it to happen, meaning you are initiating it and taking charge of it. This pile is mostly about emotional fulfillment and not so much about the superficial aspects of your career, because it feels like the majority of this pile is already well-established in their career. This is a change and a blessing happening at the root of things. It's about values, fulfillment, alignment, and resonance. I feel like you were growing a massive tree on shallow roots, and your blessing is that you are accommodating your tree and allowing it to grow sustainable and strong roots. Again, it's not necessarily a career change; this might only apply to a very small percentage of this group. For most, this talks about working with what you have, not uprooting your career, but nurturing the soil and foundation that you hold. As I have said, for most of you, this is a mindset shift followed by minor changes, maybe in terms of working hours, etc. I feel like you might bring new ideas into your career, expanding what you are already doing and incorporating a more creative element into it. Others might share an idea, be it for a project, etc., which will allow you to turn your dreams into reality. Either way, needs that have not been met before are now being met, and whatever you wish for will find solid footing soon. It will manifest in your life. Fulfillment is coming.

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

PILE 02 ➕

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

O, blank, G, A, K, E, 6th House, Mercury, Gemini

Song: All for us - Labrinth

BLESSINGS COMING TOWARD YOU IN YOUR CAREER

Tarot: the emperor, ace of cups, 2 of wands, king of cups rx

Oracle: trust, healing, midheaven, solar eclipse

Hello, Pile 02, and welcome to your reading. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. It feels like you are feeling overwhelmed, my dear pile 02. When it comes to your career, it seems like you are feeling quite anxious and detached. You might even be withdrawing from it in one way or another. I heard "quiet quitting" while writing this. Whatever the current situation at your work is, it's far from ideal. It feels like you are holding back anger too. This is a very specific thing I see, but I feel like some of you might have felt betrayed. You are not showing it, but you are also not ignoring whatever has happened and led to your feeling of turmoil. You are actively taking away your effort to balance the scales quietly. Again, this might apply to just a handful of you, but the King of Cups, as our bottom deck, is looking upset and vindictive. The good news is that you are taking charge, my dear pile 02. Your blessing is that you take authority over this situation and maneuver whatever has happened that led to you withdrawing from your career into a success story for yourself. It feels like you are taking the cup you are holding, and instead of withholding it from everyone, including yourself, you are pouring your energy and your efforts into yourself. You are "upgrading" yourself, is what I heard. Interesting; this pile is very vocal. So maybe you are speaking up for yourself. Whatever it is, it's been a long time coming, and it relates to something you have held on to for quite some time. Your blessing is that you create stability. A new beginning is awaiting. It can relate to a brand new position, a job at a new company, or even your own business. Whatever the case may be, I see you in a leading position. And you are comfortable there. Maybe the King of Cups, in reverse, talked about suppressing your leadership talent and making you uncomfortable and upset. Either way, this new position of leadership will give you a whole new beginning, especially emotionally. I am hearing "clean slate." This is such a vocal pile! Someone might be giving you their scepter; for some, it might not be a voluntary handoff, but either way, it will be fulfilling for you. I see you climbing the ladder. Whatever your goals are in your career, you are getting closer to them. Plans are being made. For some, it might even relate to a position overseas. For sure, big decisions are made relating to the future. Both for you and for your career.

Trust is your next card. With the King of Cups reversed, this is slow-moving energy. It's not something that happens overnight. Especially since for some of you, the handover is not made willingly (i.e., the person leaving said position does not want to do so). Your guides are asking you to trust the process. Trust that what you are going through is meant to happen and that what is promised to you will happen. You are currently in the healing stages, but your career journey (your negative experience right now) is soon coming to a pinnacle. You are going to reach your goals faster than you might have anticipated. A solar eclipse might be significant. This could be an indicator of timing. Either way, this new beginning, this rebirth of yours, is your blessing, and it will come with a handful of opportunities. I see you regaining your passion and your inspiration, and you will feel at home in this position of leadership that is soon to come.

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

PILE 03 ➕

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

O, B, G, A, 8th house, Uranus, Virgo

Song: Only You - Eddie Benjamin, Alessia Cara

BLESSINGS COMING TOWARD YOU IN YOUR CAREER

Tarot: 6 of wands, wheel of fortune rx, the star, King of swords rx, judgment

Oracle: the wasp, energy, jupiter, lunar eclipse

Hello, Pile 03, and welcome to your reading. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. Wow, this is a pile with a bunch of major arcana. Whatever is happening for you, it sure is significant. Your situation is not easy, and it seems complicated. Interestingly, your tarot cards are telling a story and leading into your blessing. You are someone who is established, successful, highly regarded at work, and known for the great results you bring. Your peers do not doubt your skill set. However, it feels like whenever you hit a goal or whenever you experience a win, the wheel is turning sharply for you. Every hit of luck is met with a hit of misfortune. It does not have to be major, though it feels this way to you. It's something you might already be anticipating. However, your prospects are bright, my dear pile 3. How about a mindset shift? Instead of the bad following the good, how about the good following the bad? It's so interesting, your pile. Your blessing is your faith and your hope. This might sound anticlimactic, but it's the most powerful blessing one can get. Luck is unpredictable and unreliable. But hope and faith in yourself and your abilities? Confidence? That's something that can get you places. It's something that leads to intrinsic motivation and actions being taken. Your hope means pouring into yourself, tending the garden of your soul, and allowing things to sprout and bloom for you. Again, bright prospects for you. You will be blessed with an idea and inspiration. This vision will fertilize your soil, and it will allow you to make your wildest dreams come true. Your pile is so interesting because we have a good card followed by a challenging card, and so on, but eventually, we are ending your spread with a positive one. It's reminding me of a seesaw, and I swear it's giving me whiplash. You might feel this way. Having a bad thing leads to a good thing, and vice versa. But again, your ability to keep your head held high and your ability to still believe is a true blessing in and of itself. I feel like you are lying to yourself with the king of swords in reverse. You might feel like you are crumbling under all this pressure and under all these changes that seem to follow you around, but you are not. You are growing in your power, your ability, and your adaptability because that is the skill set that you need. That's the skillset that will bring you far and eventually to a lot of abundance. Your blessing, ultimately, is a rebirth of the self with the judgment card. You will receive an idea, an epiphany. This will lead to you finding your purpose and a renewal of your career. This seems to be such a common theme across all piles, but to me, in your pile, this sounds like growth. It sounds like a level-up. In your pile, especially, we can see the impact that it will have on your life with those three major Arcana cards. It's the birth of something. This is my entrepreneurial pile. I feel like most people in this pile either run their own business or want to do so at some point. Either way, you are birthing something, and it will lead to you having people against you. It's not an easy journey, but it is very well worth it.

The wasp is confirming the king of swords, Rx, in its message. Someone will not be happy about your wins. Do you know what is so funny in your pile, though? The wasp card is followed by the energy card, which has oranges depicted on it. And you know what repels wasps? You are right about citrus fruits, which oranges are. Your energy, the essence of who you are, is so strong and so powerful that those people just cannot touch you even if they try. Your ability to believe and to push through adversity makes you unstoppable. Whatever path you are choosing to walk, it's less traveled, one that is hard, and that takes a lot of power and will. Not everyone can achieve what you set out to achieve, leading to people envying you. But again, these people are an annoyance at worst; they are unable to touch you or your bag. And abundance is waiting for you, for sure. All your hard work and all the adversities you are facing are eventually there to help you grow and lead you toward success. Yes, it might feel like whiplash sometimes with all those huge wins being met with huge obstacles, but what is waiting for you is unmatched my dear pile three. Eventually, you will get whatever you desire, and then some. For that to happen, you have to go through a transformation, and we all know that growing pains hurt. But you will come out on the other side as a winner. Remember that you are always protected.

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

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miasmaghoul · 4 months

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Here, have some soft dewther emotional hurt/comfort for reasons that do not at all reflect anything about my current mental state no siree👍

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It's past midnight when Aether flops onto the common room sofa, exhausted from back to back shifts in the infirmary. It's a night he wishes that his own quintessence would work on himself, that he could wick away the ache in his back and the searing heat behind his eyes. He'd dragged himself here in search of food - Aether can't remember the last thing he ate, or when - but the sight of the couch had forced him to redirect.

So here he sits, alone in the dark common room, staring out the massive windows flanking the fireplace and watching the stars twinkle. He knows he should get up, should find something to put in his stomach so he can at least try to sleep, but his legs weigh a thousand pounds each and the thought of moving is enough to have Aether groaning into the silence surrounding him.

He wishes he were like Rain, like Swiss. That he could just close his eyes and be on his way to dreamland. That he didn't have to deal with the storm in his head, the revolving door of tasks to be done on his next shift. Reviewing the cases he'd handled today; there had been a flu outbreak in the human wing, and Aether stretches his hands while he thinks of every fever he'd soothed, every cough he'd calmed, every bit of suffering he'd pulled from those fragile bodies and let sink into himself.

Ghouls may not be susceptible to human illness, but the power it takes to heal them always leaves him feeling ill. Empty. Hollow.

Aether cracks his knuckles as the memory of one particular Sibling crosses his mind - a young girl, no more than twenty. Pale and shivering, hacking up a lung into the sleeve of her habit while she curled up in the corner of the waiting area. She was the only one who has arrived at the infirmary alone, a newly anointed Sister of Sin who hadn't found her footing yet. Hadn't found her family yet.

Her pain had been some of the worst for Aether to handle. Not because she was sick, there were other Siblings in far worse condition, but because she was alone. Aether could feel it in his bones the moment he touched her hand. An icy wave of anxiety and regret that had washed over every part of him, an ache even Aether couldn't soothe.

It would pass, he'd assured her. Everyone goes through this - the fear, the loneliness, the feeling that you've made a huge mistake by abandoning everything you knew and loved in the name of something new. Something better. Because there are expectations, assumptions, promises made that paint the church in an ideal, rose-colored light that draws in those eager for a place to belong.

It would pass, he'd assured her. It always does. She would find her routine, find Brothers and Sisters eager to take her under their wing. Find comfort in their Papa's sermons, in prayer and worship, as they all do. Eventually, everything would fall into place. She just needed to give it time. To let it happen.

She'd looked much better once her treatment was complete, had thanked him with a hug he could still feel untold hours later, and Aether was glad to see it. Truly.

But that cold pit of loneliness had stuck around long after she'd left the infirmary, a whirlpool of despair still swirling around in his chest. It's happened a few times before, when he's drained like this, but it's unpleasant all the same. Sore, almost. Like a thorn in his heart, digging deeper with every beat.

He should just go to bed. Make his legs work and drag himself down the impossible distance of the hall. Should collapse into his own bed and try to ignore the chill, the ache, the pounding in his head. He'd get to sleep eventually, right? It would be better than this - at least he'd be laying down. He should at least try.

The kitchen light flips on behind him, and Aether's too tired to jolt.

"Aeth?" A sleep-thick voice creeps into his ears, familiar, and Aether's shoulders sag. "What're you doin' in here?"

The soft patter of bare feet follows, and Aether sighs when their owner comes into view.

"Hey, Dew."

"Hey yourself," the little ghoul mumbles, rubbing at tired eyes. He's dressed in one of Aether's beat-up old shirts and a pair of sunflower printed pajama pants that undoubtedly belong to Sunshine. "I could smell you from my room," he says through a yawn, and Aether cringes. "D'you just get back?"

"Yeah," Aether rasps, working immediately to get his scent under control. It's something he always struggles with on nights like this. "Long day."

He crosses his arms over his chest, rolls his neck, and Dew frowns.

"Looks like more than that." Aether hugs himself a little tighter. "Wanna talk about it?"

"It's nothing," Aether huffs, the guilt of having woken Dewdrop enough to have that thorn sinking in further. "Go back to bed, love, I'm fine."

"Pfft," Dew waves a hand, dismissive, "how many times do I have to tell you you're a shitty liar?"

Aether groans, tosses his glasses to the side to dig the heels of his hands into his burning eyes. He hears Dew's tail thump against the area rug, obvious concern that he must be too tired to hide.

"I just...it was a long day," Aether sighs, resting his elbows on his knees and hunching over. "I'll be fine, I'm just...just tired, that's all."

Warm, bony hands come to rest on his shoulders, and it takes everything Aether has not to whimper at how good that simple touch feels.

"Aether," Dew says, low, "look at me."

He doesn't want to. Knows he too exhausted to hide the way the void in his chest will have darkened his eyes, brought out every line on his face. He knows that if he does, Dew will see the hurt. Hurt that isn't his problem, isn't something he needs to worry about. It's not his job.

"C'mon, Aeth," the little ghoul encourages, one hand leaving a shoulder to glide through Aether's thick, unruly hair. Aether does whimper then, can't help it, but silently prays Dew doesn't hear it. "Please?"

There's something so sincere in that one word that Aether can't deny him. He heaves a mighty sigh, leans back into the couch and begrudgingly lets Dew see.

Those copper eyes bore into him like white hot fire, and it only takes two breaths for Dew to understand.

"Oh, Aether," he breathes, cupping his worn face in those incredible hands. Aether sinks into the touch, something he can't quite name caught in the back of his throat. "What can I do?"

Nothing. Everything. Aether has no idea, too scattered and distracted by the icy claws scratching at his rib cage to do more than shake his head and flex his fingers. Dew won't break his gaze, looking down at him with concern knitting his brow and his mouth turned down at the corners. He brings his own hands up to hold Dew's wrists, overcome by the need for...for...

"Could you just -" a hiccup, one he can't help, "just...remind me I'm not alone?"

The words are miserable to say, a request he feels stupid for making and regrets instantly. Wishes he could take them back the second they pass his lips, a flush of embarrassment rushing up his throat when Dew tips his head. When a lock of golden hair that had slipped from his bun floats across his forehead, those gorgeous eyes gone soft around the edges.

But he doesn't have time to take them back, because Dew's already moving. Gently shaking off Aether's trembling grip and moving to straddle him on the couch. Skinny thighs bracketing his own while Dew settles in, leaning forward to get his arms under Aether's wrinkled white coat, looping them around his waist. Scooching closer until they're chest to chest, no more than their clothes to separate them, and then Dew's resting his head on Aether's shoulder.

"Don't worry, starlight," he lilts, soft as Aether's ever heard him. Dew kisses his neck, no more than a chaste peck. "'S long as I'm around, you never have to be alone."

The little ghoul starts to purr, his unnatural heat seeping into Aether's whole being, and Aether shudders. Wraps him up in strong arms and holds on tight, breathing in cedar and burnt cinnamon. Something so distinctly Dew that it overrides the mess in his head, in his heart, and as it does Aether can do nothing but believe him.

"Thank you, firefly," he huffs, voice thready. Something Dew would normally tease him for, but not tonight. He nuzzles closer, and Aether lets his cheek rest against the little ghoul's head. "Thank you."

#miasma's work #the band ghost ficlets #aether ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #aether/dew #aether x dew #aethdew #dewther #hurt/comfort #dont mind me self soothing via ghouls lmao lmao #not rereading before i post so if you see mistakes #no you dont

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eamour · 3 months

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all about techniques.

there are so so many techniques and methods that people have come up with to make manifesting easier and more entertaining. so, let’s talk about the most important points when practicing those techniques!

manifestation techniques.

a technique in terms of manifesting is a method to make you experience the satisfaction of your desire within your imagination. it does not only make manifesting easier and more enjoyable for you but it also helps you to shift your concept of self. you can use any technique to help you embody or identify with your desire.

techniques don’t manifest.

the problem with techniques in manifestation (such as visualisation, affirmations, sats, the "i am/void"-state) is that people tend to assign power to these techniques — more power than to themselves.

again, a method is supposed to HELP and ASSIST you. it’s not doing any of the creating-your-reality work, unlike you. YOU are indeed manifesting things into your reality, with or without a technique. remember. you are manifesting at all times, you are occupying all sorts of states throughout the day, making your current state of consciousness manifest. are you scripting for each state which you NATURALLY shift to? no matter what technique you do, its only purpose is to help you create experiences you would like to have mentally. that’s where all manifestations take place first — in the MIND. not because you have written it down on paper.

all techniques are equal.

when i say "equal", i'm not saying that each technique is the same in terms of what you're doing and how you're doing it. no, all techniques are equal because they all FUNCTION equally and guarantee the same results. no technique works better than the other. no technique is either superior, or inferior.

here's the thing: the reason why people say "this technique works so much better and faster for me!" is because they favour it. they enjoy doing it. doing the technique feels natural to them and doesn’t require a lot of effort. it’s not something that they have to bring themselves to do with force — they LIKE doing it. that’s because we are all different. i know people who could write a fucking novel with the scripts they have in mind. then i know people who love to affirm whenever they can because they think it’s convenient for them to do. and then there is me who loves to listen to music and visualise my desired scenes. what we have in common is that we do all these techniques because they suit us and we can choose to try any other technique whenever we want. we aren’t tied to one technique only. sometimes i end up writing a whole list of things that i want to have, accept it as mine, and go on with my day. works JUST as well as visualising.

please, do not …

... force it · for example, the scenes you could visualise when trying to fulfill yourself or let yourself experience a scenario you desire should come to you naturally. the affirmation you would like to use should feel natural to you. a technique is always something you choose to do voluntarily. it isn’t a rule you need to follow. you're not obligated to do this exact technique for this long and that many days, and so on.

... perfect it · when you do a technique, it’s not your goal to do it as perfect and as accurate as possible. you don’t have to visualise a picture perfect scene, nor will you fail to manifest if you miss to affirm the rest of your affirmations-list. you can forget details when scripting, be as detailed or vague in your visual scenes, or only affirm one single affirmation — that’s perfectly fine! your perfect scene in imagination or your affirmations aren’t what makes it perfect in the physical world, it’s the FEELING you get from it. if you can perfectly FULFILL yourself, then it will be perfectly reflected back to you in its physical form. inner acceptance is what creates fulfillment, not the perfection of a technique.

... complicate it · a technique cannot put you into a spiral and make you question your whole reality just because you think you haven’t done it "correctly". there is no right way to do a technique and no fixed way to practice it. do whatever you like and however you like it!

... follow others · now, you can definitely try a technique that seems interesting to you, that has been introduced to you by others or that you think will be enjoyable. nevertheless, a technique that feels normal and natural to others doesn’t have to feel normal and natural to you. don’t commit to doing something because you think or you've been told that this is the technique you need to do in order to manifest your desire.

no have to's, only want to's.

the premise of each and every technique is that you WANT to do it. there is no forcing, no pushing, no "need to" or "have to". it’s personal, it’s something YOU like doing, not what the bigger collective seems to be practicing. this is what i always remind myself of when practicing anything loa related: you cannot commit to something you dont love, you’ll cheat. meaning, you won’t be able to do a technique properly (as in, having and being), therefore won’t change self and remain the exact same.

if you like visualising, do it! if you like affirming all the time, do it! if you like counting your affirmations, do it! if you like scripting, do it! if you do the lullaby method before going to bed, do it! if you like rampaging after you wake up, do it! again, you are the creator and you choose which technique(s) suits you the best.

what to do.

when manifesting with the help of a technique, focus on inner acceptance. accept your desire as factual. make it a present, undeniable fact. because accepting your desire to be true means to identify with it in imagination, therefore you BE or HAVE it. that’s your goal, that’s your priority.

with love, ella.

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petrichormore · 8 months

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daily reminder that q!bbh is not only experiencing psychotic episodes but is also physically wounded, ill, and potentially dying. We also have no idea how that is playing into his decision making. I see a lot of people just kinda disregarding it and acting like q!bbh is making the decisions he’s making in a vacuum of normality, but q!Forever is partially right when he says this isn’t the “real” q!badboyhalo. This is a heavily wounded and ill q!bad whose injuries are already affecting his ability to see color, so what else are they affecting?

Like, it’s not that I think q!Forever is right when he says “I know this isn’t you, I know you’re not yourself” because he’s clearly projecting - q!Bad does not need to be saved or fixed especially by a man who he doesn’t trust but… having q!bbh be in the worst state he’s ever been in isn’t him being in his “truest” state either. And I’ve seen that be said - that this is the true, honest q!bbh and q!forever befriended a facade, a lie, but that’s just. Not accurate at all. The kind-hearted, altruistic, and gentle q!bbh that q!forever befriended is just as real as the one we’re seeing now. It’s just that q!forever befriended q!bbh while he was in a relatively normal (he’s being held captive on murder island after all) state of mind, and now he’s nearing his worst. His absolute worst is not any more his “true self” than his absolute best would be, and I’d argue niether extreme is a particularly accurate reflection.

“This is the real q!bbh: a terrible person.” Maybe he is a terrible person but this isn’t evidence of that, this is just evidence that he’s fucking surviving on a knife’s edge. This is him pushed to the very brink of what he can handle, and then pushed even farther. A person’s lowest moment is not when their “true personality” is revealed or whatever and I’ve never liked that idea to begin with. A person’s lowest moment might reveal an unnatural extreme but that’s like. It. In my opinion, anyway.

The “real” q!bbh is cunning, devious, and ruthless and is also kind, altruistic, and selfless. Those ‘good ones’ aren’t traits he just pretended to have, that’s him in equal measure. I know it’s fun for the demon to be evil or something, but he’s just… not, really. He’s currently sick in ways we don’t fully understand, but from what we do know he’s being drained of color and of sanity so how can someone point at him and say “this is the real q!bbh” no, it’s the worst q!bbh (that we’ve seen). But worst does not equal truest - his thought process and personality are clearly being affected by his lack of sleep, and his declining mental health, and whatever the hell those vultures have done to him.

I don’t know, I just don’t think people are taking his physical appearance, and the fact that he’s straight up gone colorblind and experienced a psychotic break into account enough when discussing what this current arc reveals about him as a person. Any conclusion drawn about his personality should come with a “he’s barely hanging in there are we sure this is an intrinsic personality flaw or just a reaction to a traumatic situation that he would probably never exhibit under any other circumstance that vaguely resembles normal”

#this isn’t about the big stuff like torturing ron cuz obviously q!Bad’s cool with torture. that isn’t something new lmao #this is more about people treating this like it’s his most honest state when he’s actively hallucinating and bleeding a blue substance #from OPEN WOUNDS #one of which is on his HEAD and affecting his EYE #does that not seem relevant to any conversation that might be had about his behavior right now????#hello??????#qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp analysis #q!badboyhalo #q!bbh character analysis

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aerodynamic-acephalic · 5 days

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ok I just need to get my thoughts down because I don't see anyone else talking about this. spoilers for the new episode of Helluva Boss.

In the new episode, "The Full Moon", in relation to the Stolitz dynamic, there is a huge correlation between melody and emotions.

The duet at the start has Stolas singing the entire time, while Blitz is rapping the whole thing. Not that rap isn't music, nor that he isn't singing with deliberate pitch, but his parts of the song feel closer to spoken prose then Stolas'. In the words themselves, Stolas spend the entire time commenting on his own worries about Blitz and their meeting, while Blitz spends the song avoid his own anxieties about his relationship with Stolas, and in fact out right says he's "getting in [his] own head" when he begins to acknowledge his relationship with Stolas as "complex" before swerving out of that topic entirely.

And this is also true for their meeting at the end of the episode. The music that plays at the start is reflective of Stolas' inner emotional state while Blitz talks about what he bought. Then when Stolas brings up the Asmodian Crystal, the music turns more hopeful. And again, when Stolas states that Blitz is no longer under any obligation to do anything to/with him, the music changes to play a singular long note. This whole time, the music has changed to reflect Stolas' mental state throughout this conversation.

Then it's Blitz's turn to react and it goes dead silent. And even though Blitz could very much go "k thanks bye" and ditch Stolas, his reaction is "Am I not working hard enough? I can do better". Blitz, unlike Stolas, is not addressing the underlying emotions of his care for the other, defaulting to trying to bring back their status quo rather than (work to) resolve the issues in their relationship to make them both happier.

The music come back when Stolas answers with how much he truly cares about Blitz and he doesn't want a relationship built on a power imbalance the way theirs currently is.

Blitz, once again, swerves from the conversation as the music, once again cuts out, defaulting to assuming that he's not being serious.

This, obviously, hurts Stolas, with the music following in tow, where it cuts out (with the exception of a sustained chord this time) at Blitz realising that Stolas was being serious about genuinely caring about him and ever so slightly touching on how that makes him feel.

Music revives briefly for Stolas to verbalise how Blitz's dismissal and inability to believe his care for him when it cuts out at Blitz screaming at him. Here again it's Blitz not directly addressing why or what hurt him, but rather him angry that Stolas is dismissing his attempts at trying to understand and deal with the situation (rightfully so), though doing so through screaming and generalising ("you royal fucks think you can do this every time") as a way to bring back a semblance of control.

The music rolls in with Stolas being upset and crying and fades out when Blitz is teleported away.

This entire episode where these two are on screen (so, like the first 3min and the last 5min) has the music emphasising not only what the characters feel, but also how in-tune with and aware they are of how and why they feel the way they do, with Stolas able to do so much more than Blitz.

I saved the best for last, as there are exactly two exceptions to the "Blitz has no music but Stolas does" observation.

The first (and the less interesting and implicative of the two) is right after Blitz dismisses Stolas' feelings. Here, though Stolas does talk, he is very much building walls and pushing Blitz away through both his generally dismissive tone and him actively trying to walk away from them conversation. Also a thing to note is how when Stolas thanks Blitz for making him as happy as he did, the music is there, but everything but the sustained chord leaves when Stolas blurts out "I wish you the best with your business" while walking away, and completely ignoring anything Blitz has to say at all about how he feels. It only comes back when he talks about his own hurt.

The second is after Blitz is teleported away. The "feelings" character is off-screen. We shouldn't be hearing any music at all. And we don't, initially. But as Blitz screams to the sky two note play. And these two notes are the only notes that start playing while Blitz speaks in these 5 minutes, and they are the only notes (I'm pretty sure) in this scene that play where we don't immediately see/hear what could be causing the emotions that the music implies. It is here where everything Blitz has been doing to maintain the status quo breaks down. It is here that Blitz has nothing to think of to not think about him and Stolas. It is here where Blitz grapples with his own feelings about Stolas and his relationship with him.

can you see why I've been going insane for the past few hours...?

#obligatory “please don't eat me” tag #ik how controversial Vivziepop and by extension her shows have gotten #there are a lot of things that were wrong and right about both her shows #please don't call me anti-semitic or fatphobic or lesbophobic for liking these shows #i'm just a guy; please don't eat me #helluva boss #stolitz #this went way longer than I thought it would #i pinkie promise the next one won't be that long

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rin-and-jade · 7 days

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In-Between Lines: A Post about Blurring, Blending & Fusing

We are like colors in a single palette, each with its own distinct vibrancy that our eyes can easily tell apart. Sometimes, when these colors touch, they create a faint overlap, making it difficult to distinguish where the red ends or when the blue is still truly blue upon contact,

Hopefully metaphor above explains how different colors may appear similar when mixed together, even though they are actually quite different depending on how one approaches the method. As how we will perceive today's topic similarly as.

Fast pass: TL;DR on bottom.

What are the difference, anyway..

It's definitely tough trying to grasp these definitions when we live our lives separated as parts, sometimes this topic may also appear mysterious as many don't talk on it.

Throw your worries away, as it is far from scary, or a bad thing to experience, nor it is impossible to understand, here's my breakdown on them, firstly:

Blur When the lines between distinct parts are reduced, though still walled up, it causes a partial leak of traits or behaviors from one part to another. Because this is the weakest level of penetration through the amnesia barriers, these qualities spill out incompletely. This makes it difficult to determine which traits belong to which part, or to identify who you feel closest to when experiencing blurring. An example would be putting on a gaussian blur filter to an object, the clear outline between the table and table is harder to separate, making it difficult to identify their exact details, though you can still vaguely recognize them.

Blend During blending, the barriers between parts are temporarily weakened, creating better transmission of traits and thoughts compared to blurring. From this, the overlaps between parts become more visible, making it easier to tell which traits belong to each part. In this state, they may be aware of the emotions and behaviors of other parts, while still able to distinguish it from their own qualities. Think of blending as an additional extension to your current personality state. An example would be applying a semi transparent image above an existing one, some overlaps fits with the main image, though the relevance or the elements from the second image is still be able to be told apart.

Fuse This is where the barriers completely dropped, where blending is the temporary and less complete form of it only, fusing is where you fully accept and be aware of the overlapping traits as your own. Since there's no more dissociation between the two parts, you will start to identify previously other's traits as yours. Fusing is a more stable and permanent state compared to blending. An example would be building a bigger version out of existing tiny lego creations. The block colors would mix, and the final outcome reflects what the smaller buildings looked like previously, the separated buildings were never gone or altered, but unified despite distinct, unlike how most think fusing feels like.

Why does it happen?

Honestly this topic by itself is complicated while i'd like to keep it as compact as possible. So here's the straight forward reasons why blur and blend can happen:

When you find yourself in a blur, it can be due to..

Stress - due to triggers or feelings that arises from other parts, which partially leaked and is affecting the overall mental state. This greatly varies, depending on the capacity to handle stress.

Exhaustion - due to not having enough energy to expend into distinguishing parts or gain clarity on what's going inside. For some they will blur more often when tired, while some will not be as frequent or never, depending on resilience.

Unfocused - confusion, or disorientation, means the brain cannot function normally to respond to internal or external cues, leaving gaps in details and attention. Other comorbids that affects attention and cognitive abilities will also heavily affect this.

Currently busy - due to how a demanding task requires your full attention, that being said, other functions are currently being upheld. This also depends on how much load a person can handle, some would be unaffected from it.

Fixing blurriness consists of various solutions, such as getting enough sleep or breaks, being in a less energy-demanding space, hydrating adequately, and proper nutrition. As blurriness can be caused by brain fog, it generally takes time to recover and function normally again.

The span of being blurry can vary for everyone, it can be short as for a few hours or days at best, or it can last months depending on your lifestyle and current life situation. Pay attention to what things can blur you, a pattern should bring insight.

When you find yourself to be in a blend, it can be due to..

Significant stress - stronger reactions to a situation cause other parts to bleed their behaviors. Different stress will cause different intensities on blurring.

Triggers - due to parts respond to something they resonate with, although not strong enough to switch, heavily influencing temporary behavior. Just like from stress, different triggers does the same.

Emotional charges - similar to triggers, but specifically with any negative or positive emotions, causing a sudden shift in thinking or feelings. The types of emotions and how intense will affect a blend, too.

Attempt to communicate - due to accidental integration when trying to be aware, connect/communicate, or understand others, as the qualities flow more than usual, creating an uncalled moment of blend.

Fixing blend would depend on situation. Generally if it is harmless, opt to wait it out until the lines of separation builds up again or alternatively, reclaim your clarity on what qualities or traits belong to you, and what belonged to the other to encourage severing a blend.

If it is due to harmful/difficult situations, it is much better to resolve or minimize the severity of the blend until you regain composure and process any emotional/thought bleeds that is causing a blend.

You missed the last one,

Ofcourse i won't forget about it, just that it is a very different aftermath compared to the previous ones.

What is fusing

Fusing is similar to blending, which is a temporary version, though this time you identify all of the qualities of the other parts more permanently and consistently as your own. The process to fusion can look like a seamless flow or can find it be more challenging to integrate. What it feels like

Unlike the circulating ideas of what fusing feels like, no parts are truly gone or have their highlighted traits disappeared. Consider it like mixing the colors blue and red to create a dominant purple hue. Although traces of blue and red can still be seen, the idea is that blue and red still exist closely enough that they are nearly indistinguishable, yet the essence of the pure colors is never gone.

An easier way to understand it is like emulsifying water and oil by shaking it. These two elements never create something entirely new but they are evenly dispersed, creating a tangible idea of integration.

You will start to like what the previous parts would've said, you will also be able to view and react to a situation in a more nuanced way as you had obtained another pov, and you will feel the more complex or sometimes opposing information that still can be true.

For example, A was a protective and cautious part towards people, and B was a compassionate and kind part due to its morals,, these two had constantly disagreed and fought over how the situation must be handled due to the inability to integrate the separate opinions/views. Now that they both fused, as C, upon meeting a new stranger, instead of A's natural instinct to fully avoid interaction, B's gentle demeanor thought that it would be rude. So C responds by approaching the stranger with curiosity, understanding that not all are evil, though still wary just in case for safety as A would, to prevent another negative experience.

What encourages a fuse

Working on trauma, which involves addressing and processing the compartmentalized and unprocessed emotional or mental damage of the past, encourages fusing. Since parts exist to hold and separate the pain, hiding the whole picture. To integrate is to fuse.

Working on triggers, uncovering repressed memories, processing unfinished business, healing unhealthy behaviors or mindsets, and establishing overall acceptance of your own parts will make the barriers for self protection become meaningless, creating an easier time to fuse and feel more whole, with better control between facets.

When you don't want to fuse

It's pretty valid, some are more comfortable being whole, while some would prefer being distinct yet fully functioning.

The alternative to this would be functional multiplicity, where the integration manifests differently as better internal communication, equal cooperation, sharing the same goal for the future, have healthy conflict resolutions between each other, respecting each part's boundaries, and lastly, able to be aware of other parts and their emotions.

Functional Multiplicity and Full Fusion are equally good, they are neither worser or better, as it heavily depends on the person's preference and comfort level.

Last notes

Remember, blurring, blending, and fusing never looks the same for everyone, everything written here are given purpose as insights on how it generally will look like.

What do you previously think fusing is like? Is it as you'd expect after reading it? Feel free to share your experiences related to this topic too, i'd love to hear them all! (though sorry, i don't think i can reply to everyone if so)

Feel free to let me know if you have questions, or need help in this topic! My DMs and askbox will still be available, although i also want to announce that i am taking 1-2 weeks of break before continuing again to enjoy my academic holiday.

(due to reason of how educative posts easily exceed 10 hours in process before release including interviewing, researching, and writing from start to end.. im tired)

TL;DR

Blurring, blending, and fusing are different levels of integration that can manifest in a system.

Blur: Partial leaks of traits between parts due to reduced but intact barriers. It’s the weakest form of integration, making it hard to identify distinct traits. Example: A Gaussian blur filter on an image, making objects hard to distinguish.

Blend: Temporary weakening of barriers, allowing more traits to flow between parts. Traits are more identifiable but still distinct. Example: A semi-transparent image overlay, showing both images' details.

Fuse: Permanent merging of parts, integrating all traits as one’s own. Traits from all parts are combined, creating a coherent personality. Example: Mixing colors to create a new hue while retaining traces of the original colors.

Reasons for Blurring & Blending:

Stress: Triggers cause partial leaks or stronger reactions.

Exhaustion: Lack of energy to distinguish parts.

Unfocused: Confusion or disorientation.

Busy: Demanding tasks take full attention.

Managing Blurring & Blending:

Blurring: Rest, reduce stress, stay hydrated, proper nutrition.

Blending: Wait for clarity, resolve stressful situations, reclaim individual traits.

Fusing:

Process: Working on trauma, triggers, repressed memories, and acceptance of all parts encourages fusing.

Outcome: Unified personality with integrated traits, retaining the essence of original parts.

Functional Multiplicity: Preferred by some, involves cooperation and communication between distinct parts without full integration, achieving similar functionality.

Remember, these processes vary greatly for each individual. Blurring, blending, and fusing can look different for everyone, and both full fusion and functional multiplicity are valid approaches depending on personal preference and comfort.

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #plural #sysblr #system stuff #jeducates

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charmedreincarnation · 1 year

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My experience with my waiting room ��🌌

What is a waiting room

Firstly, A waiting room is simpily just another reality within realities where individuals can transition between two different states of being. There are many variations of waiting rooms, but they all serve the same purpose – to bridge the gap between different realities. Personally for me as a permeant shifter, I will eventually make my current waiting room my new point of origin. That just basically means instead of going to heaven or coming back here after “death” or whatever I just go to my waiting room when I’m done with lives. But you can use it however you want, that’s just how I use mine. Or at least I will in the future. A lot of people use it to rest, learn, take mental breaks from various realities and etc :)! You can cater it to you however you like just as you would any other reality because that’s literally what it is.

My first shift to my waiting room

My first ever shift which I had no intentions of going to, was a waiting room of sort. I remember it was winter and I was balls deep into my seasonal depression and I was having a horrible time at work. I literally just wanted to die and I remember using a meditation to calm my crying down, and after a while I forgot about my emotions. I just asked the universe to show me anything atp to prove to me I’m not wasting my time with shifting and it does get better. After a while instead of hearing SpongeBob in the background I heard waves instead. I don’t know where the hell I was but it wasn’t my house anymore. I woke up at a beach, and I immediately knew it wasn’t a dream because I felt the warm sand on my body and when I got into the water, I felt the splash of my feet and saw my reflection clearly. Honestly I was experiencing vivid tranquility so I didn’t really care where I was. I just wasn’t sad or tired anymore. I ended up falling asleep on the beach for what felt like I couple of hours but before I did I just hoped I didn’t have to go to work the next day. Anyways I woke up back in this reality and well work got cancelled because of the weather even though it was not in the forecast. I don’t know if it was a random waiting room reality, or a wish void state of sort, but that was my first real out of body experience.

Anyways that’s not my real waiting room…

I became friends (online)with a sound engineer who got into shifting and wanted to use me as a test subject for a fool proof shifting subliminal using science and experiments. Well it obviously worked and I shifted to a real waiting room with intention! It was my first actual shift that I intended, and I was super happy. I spent a whole day there basically just exploring all my options. Switching the aesthetics of my waiting room like a phone case or something lol. I added various amenities, experimented spawning in people and various animals etc etc. after I came back I still had no idea what I wanted my waiting room to look like but I made this a problem for later tbh. It was a very enriching experience regardless :)

Here are the links to the subs btw sub 1, sub 2. you can also explore all the other subliminals he created, as he has a bunch !

after sometime I ended up meeting some super dope people who are all probably my twin flames and we have a group waiting room now. This makes more sense because it wasn’t the waiting room was that was the problem, I just don’t want to be alone and I love people! Plus I will spend a while in my wr and use it for essentially eternity so I’m glad I figured out my problem and filled it with awesome fulfilling people :)!

Anyways I know this wasn’t very long, vivid, or specific but I don’t spend much time in wrs as of now ..and very much use this reality as my break between realities. But if you have any more specific questions my asks are ofc open 💗

#law of assumption #manifesation #void state #manifesting #law of attraction #reality shifting #shifting #shiftblr

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jinn-mori · 3 months

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4KOTA Thoughts

Ok, so the Jericho episode is out.

I haven't watched it but I'll give my two cents regarding that scene. Ya know, the one where we find out that Jericho is a pedo and her main reason for serving Arthur is so she can have the false reality she wants instead of facing the real world and doing what she needs to do, which is get over Lancelot because ma'am that is a child.

This is an instance of show don't tell, where through showing both us and Lancelot Jericho's current state, we learn how Arthur gets people to join his side:

He gives them what they want, not what they need.

In this instance, Jericho wants a world where she can love Lancelot 'as a man' or a world where her love for him is normal. But what she needs is to accept that simply will never happen and get over this love. But going after what you want is a lot easier than admitting and finding what you need. She's back to how she was in the early days of 7DS. Except instead of it being her hating Ban and needing to learn to love herself, she's latching onto an unhealthy love instead of letting it go.

This 'what you want, not what you need' mentality is even reflected with Arthur. He wanted a kingdom where humans could live safely. In theory, that's great. But the way that Arthur puts the theory into practice is where we see a 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions' scenario play out. Arthur isolated Camelot with the use of Chaos to keep humans trapped in a bubble where only humans would be allowed. What Arthur needed to do to keep humans safe was to learn how to work with the other races in a peaceful manner. And given he knows the Sins, he easily could have done that.

Diane and King are the rulers of their respected races, with Meliodas and Elizabeth being real damn high on the pecking order of the Demons and Goddesses. However, because Arthur went after what he wanted rather than what he needed, we currently have the events of 4KOTA.

In a way, he reflects the Sins. But while the Sins overcame their flaws, Arthur is falling further and further into his. How much of this is Arthur and how much of this is Chaos is up for debate, but I am hoping that Nakaba does something interesting with this parallel.

#4kota #nnt analysis #4kota analysis #nnt jericho #sds jericho #4kota arthur #nnt arthur #4kota spoilers

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zenithabovemarshland · 4 months

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Replying to this awesome post by @corvoidea on Pluto in Aquarius

corvi says:.

It is almost as though there was a massive focus and near-obsession in reflecting on home, family, the motherland, etc. and you see that reflected in the rise of Hollywood culture in the 1920s. Especially because the USA's birth chart has a Cancer Stellium in the 7th house. Of course, this hyper-focus on family and home in the United States also led to extreme issues in other parts of the world such as the rise of Hitler in Germany, Stalin in the Soviet Union, Benito Mussolini in Italy, etc. But relating it to Pluto in Capricorn - I think the current transit through the 1st house is breaking down a lot of those stories and bringing to light a lot of the not-so-great things that were happening. In the old days of Hollywood, as well as currently with the abuse of child stars (children = Cancer), as well as women and the exploitation they endured under other executives.

I just shared the reply where @luciddownloading wrote about the opposite sign getting Pluto-ed too, which feels really applicable in this convo. Pluto moving through the 1H-7H axis is a story of "good guys" and "bad guys", "me vs you", which would have started back with the terrorism fears in Pluto Sagittarius. So Pluto through 1H needs a "you", a "bad guy", an "other" to play out the story.

Now through the 2H, which will continue with Pluto Aquarius, the story is "ME, who DESERVES THIS" versus "YOU, the THIEVING BEAST". Does kind of make me think of the American Revolution last Pluto Capricorn.

I think a lot about the 1H and 2H. In the birth charts of individuals, when I talk to them about it, I feel like planets in the 1H almost don't even seem real to them. It's like they don't notice them, they're so innate to their experiences. But people notice what's in their 2H. It's a very personal, intense place. (Has to be; it's opposite the 8H.)

I also have this thing where I feel like "women", as a "class", is a 2H house. Like I personally feel like you can use derived houses to make the 2H the 1H of "women's lives" in society. (Also cause historically women "are" "property".) (I think it could be considered the same for any "subordinate" or subculture beneath the dominant culture.) I started thinking about this to try to have an answer for the popular thing online about how girlhood is monstrosity. This way, a woman's derived childhood house would be seen through the eyes of the first chart as 6H, of illness. And how what is a relationship to the first chart isn't equal, because it's to an 8H derived house, of sacrifice, mutilation, and control. A woman's (derived) 3H, of education and growing community, is the 4H of the dominant culture, and a woman's (derived) "roots" (4H), is the house of sex (5H) to the dominant culture.

Anyway, that you brought up the USA chart reminded me of this. Because looking at the birth chart of USA and Pluto transit goes through the 1H, a place that is so intrinsic to the nation's being it feels we can't touch or understand it. Then goes through the second house, that feels actionable but also savage, because 2H opposes 8H. With Pluto in Aquarius, the brutality of questions of value and possession will persist, as it has in history.

(I love that you brought up the USA chart. I didn't even think about it lol)

corvi also says:

I think Pluto in Aquarius is going to either: - Cause a cult-like mentality in terms of fame & celebrity, specifically in politics. - Cause people to push ordinary people into the spotlight whose work is geared toward the greater-good.

Yeah! I think this is what I was trying to get around to with my first examples, particularly with Gypsy Rose! I need to do more research about all that, though, cause I don't actually know anything about what she's up to today.

There is definitely a "death" going on right now when it comes to "traditional" celebrities and people's perception of who becomes famous and why, just as you mentioned. I think a lot of people are also slowly becoming more and more frustrated with hyper-vanity pushed by families like the Kardashians.

Which is ironic, I think, considering the Aquarius-Leo axis we're entering! I read through replies and what they've posted on their own blogs about Pluto Aquarius and some people believe social media's gonna (in my melodramatic words) implode and die. I kind of lean that way, too, just because of all the frustration that's been building with social media and technology, and the inklings of people quitting social media, opting for "dumb phones", etc.

People have also split about whether glamour and vapidity will become more popular, or less. I think the World Astrology Report on Youtube did a really cool video on Pluto in Aquarius worth thinking about, about the terms within Aquarius and how they played out 260 years ago. (I can't link the video cause I can't find it; he's made so many Pluto Aquarius videos I don't remember which one it was.) If I remember right, I think maybe around the Venus term, glamour may peak, and after that it may crash.

I hope Pluto in Aquarius causes a collective shift away from celebrities and causes people to be more focused on activists, writers, journalists, etc. who are fighting for human rights and the wellbeing of everyone. Of course, I could be completely wrong. Pluto in Aquarius could very well cause celebrities to become desperate to hold onto any influence they have and peddle in a very dystopian and strange kind of cult-like following via social media in ways we do not expect. It could also cause those who are hungry for fame and self-centered to resort to manipulation (Pluto) utilizing other forms of technology (Aquarius) to keep their power and influence (Pluto again) over the collective and communities (Aquarius).

I've been thinking about this, too. I don't know how "complete" Pluto's upsets are, y'know? I think in individual charts, Pluto transits may end up more "complete" by the end of its wanderings. But in mundane astrology I wonder if Pluto just digs everything up and says "deal with it" while it continues on its way. Our current stories aren't ending, just shifting. And how we're digging those things up is shifting. I wonder if the way we approach things might just be more Aquarian--which is still Saturnian--but it's still just the same old stuff. Just like what you said in the last paragraph.

What if AI is the enemy that pulls up the mirror? What if things really do go Terminator? Wasn't it critical thinking--a value of Capricorn--that dug the grave of Capricorn governance? How does it slide to activism, Truth, and righteousness?

We're already kind of seeing something happen, with Gaza, and the emphasis on Truth, and access to Truth Telling.

But at the least, as we saw in Pluto-Capricorn, the values of meritocracy and government were obliterated, and obliterated by its own example/history of merit and governing. At the very least, I think we can expect the Aquarian value of Truth to be obliterated by remembering our history just the same.

corvi also says:

I do think we are going to see a significant shift in the belief of who gets to be and power and why. But I think it will be a global shift that we are probably not ready for. ... I am a little worried about potential civil conflict and revolutions abroad. Despite the way Americans and other Westerners romanticize revolutions - revolutions are not "amazing" or empowering at all. They are violent, painful, and the people who suffer the most are civilians caught in the crossfire. And the power vacuum left behind can cause unimaginable suffering, as we saw with the Yugoslav Wars - which was led by many Pluto in Leo individuals who carried out genocide and other violence against civilians. I am hoping for the best. I would love to see more Carnation Revolutions & Velvet Revolutions and other non-violent overthrows of horrible people in power. My biggest hope for Pluto in Aquarius is true Democracy and freedom for everyone.

Absolutely. I trimmed your blurbs here, but I agree with the hope for non-violence. I wonder if freedom and non-violence is possible in a Saturnian sign, or an Air sign, and if it can be so with USA's Gemini Return coming up. (The Astrology Podcast has many episodes about the USA Uranus return in Gemini historically coinciding with war, like this one.)

Something I think about a lot is the atom bomb. That was Pluto in Leo, too. I thought it was important that Venus Rx in Leo this past summer saw the Oppenheimer movie for that reason. Maybe the story of that being fresh in mind can alter something in us.

I took a sociology of war class. Sociologists love to classify patterns in levels of society. I don't remember the whole thing, but there's one theory that ideological societies like ours--ones that ally themselves based on ideology as opposed to something like nationalism--has isolationist war. They are push-a-button wars; nuclear wars; wars that spur proxy wars in "less developed" areas to "play" their war for them. Seems very Aquariuan. Seems very Uranus in Gemini to me. But with everything in sociology, we gotta stop being so gloomy and hope for the best anyway lmao or our souls will die.

The Astrology Podcast also seems to be anticipating a change to democracy. The very idea of it scares me because I don't know anything else, but I do think that's a happier resolution than war. But I wonder if we won't see a "new democracy" until Pluto in Pisces, because I think Uranus in Gemini is going to be a big player. And wherever Neptune could be in all that, too.

#pluto in aquarius #astrology community #love u love u corvi xo

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