#WE'RE NOT ALL FRIENDLESS

[1eos]

the fact that humanity has been around for centuries but ppl still have a hard time understanding you can be nice and an introvert just let's me know collectively as a species we are not that smart 😭😭😭

[cupuasu]

being raised by a single mom whos a pisces and to top it all off someone who's awful at making friends genuinely had great repercussions on my lifestyle

[clonewarsahsoka]

I'm always startled when people refer to me by my nickname like how do you know that? But also its the only name I use to introduce myself and when people refer to me by my proper name it feels even weirder basically I'm not used to people calling me by name

[tealvenetianmask]

Hell's royalty has a culture that enables Stella's abusive behavior.

Point 1: Keeping up appearances is valued above all else. And I specifically mean the appearance of things being the way they're supposed to be. Conformity basically.

Conformity in this culture seems to include a kind of stoic dignity ("you know excitement is unbecoming of a goetia"), an air of superiority ("don't bow to that one- he bows to us!"), and, of course, some good old fashioned toxic masculinity ("cease this bitch crying").

Individuals at the very top are not immune. Even though he gets past it, Asmodeus seems to spend a lot of time and effort on keeping his relationship with Fizz quiet in order to keep up the appearance of fulfilling his "lust" role.

Point 2: The members of the aristocracy who don't conform are seen as the problem, not the members who are being cruel.

Speaking of Ozzie, there's a chance he'll face real consequences for getting out of line . . . Mammon seems pretty confident about getting revenge. Also, if Ozzie had decided that his reputation was important enough to avoid stepping in to help his partner, well . . . I'm just saying. Cultures of conformity create bystanders who stand by and let abuse happen. So it's good that this guy has the courage (and a good heap of privilege and power) to enable him to step out. Yes, I realize that the crowd at Mammon's celebrated Ozzie and Fizz, but the crowd was distinctly NOT aristocratic.

Now look at Stella's party- this woman is not subtle about being cruel to her husband.

She calls the party a "Not Divorced" party. She openly talks negatively about Stolas in a blatant attempt to humiliate him. She's not trying to hide that she hates the man.

Because he's . . . an oddball. Gentle, not as polished as others in his social sphere, awkward and mostly friendless, probably autistic. And importantly, I think, not traditionally masculine.

So Stella has no need to hide that she treats him poorly. She's proud of it. And her social circle seems to support her in it, or at least, they don't push back. Because based on the aristocracy's unspoken (or if we look at Paimon, very much spoken) value system, Stolas's failure to fulfill all of his expected roles gracefully is worse than Stella's cruelty.

Point 3: Stolas's parenting, while much better than his own father's, still reflects this value system in some ways, and that's . . . complicated.

In some ways, Octavia is doing great. She has her own interests (music! gothy fashion!) that don't seem to be based on any role prescribed to her by others. She has a genuine bond with her dad that's based on care and not on molding her into some ideal princess.

But Stolas still puts on an facade in front of Via. We know that he pretended things were fine when they distinctly weren't for most of her childhood. We could argue endlessly about whether Stolas was right (as Georgia Dow explained in her video) or wrong to stop himself from explaining the situation with Stella to Via in Loo Loo Land, but honestly, the man could let his nearly grown up daughter know that abuse was happening without all out trauma dumping. It would enable her to make more informed decisions, and I think she would want to be able to do that.

Instead, Stolas keeps it to himself. Because he feels like Via SHOULD have this picture perfect childhood. Look at the pictures that are up in his palace. Look at his attempt to gloss over the fighting in the household by taking Via to an idealized childhood destination.

A part of him still thinks that good parenting is keeping up appearances, and that the ugly things are best kept hidden. Look at how hard he still tries to avoid crying in front of people. The values he was taught as a child are part of him.

And while it's not his fault (it's Stella's fault, obviously- these are HER actions), his inability to be open allows Stella and Andrealphus to scheme and (we'll see . . .) probably manipulate Via because of her lack of knowledge.

We're meant to see the moments where Stolas breaks expectations and behaves raw and even a little unhinged as triumphant. Sleeping with Blitz. That is the sound of a fucking divorce. Actually going through with the fucking divorce. Insisting on it. Appearances be damned.

And yeah, more of that please. Because if the people around Stella stop caring about aristocratic social trappings, all she'll have going for her is her shitty personality.

Thanks @akirathedramaqueen for inspiring this post with a conversation.

[inu-jiru]

Gonna bully Stolas again rq but wow it's majorly embarrassing looking back at "Western Energy" and Stolas' line about Blitz having the audacity to not drop everything and save him, my guy, even if you were incapacitated, do you really have no one else you could call to save you? This dude is such a friendless loser that he HAS to call an imp to save him? What happened to those 72 other siblings Stolas supposedly has?

The show just feels so stupidly small because there's no one around or referenced to outside the main and supporting cast. And I know when we get to the Vassago episode all the Goetias are just gonna be all the same, copy-paste "tee hee we're racist, rich and most likely all gay because fuck women" because ONLY STOLAS is the """""""good"""""" Goetia I guess (heavy quotations tho cuz he isn't).

This show, man, I just--

[tayasui-mono]

Aaaaaaaa geez, s1e7 "Sorbet" is so brutal. Hannibal goes to Bedelia and she's like, "Oh your human veil is so nice but it must be lonely" and Hannibal is all smiles because of course, he loves being acknowledged just like everybody else so then he's like "I have friends, we're friendly" and she's like "you're my patient and colleague, we aren't friends" and to soothe that burn, she gives him some champagne? wine? Anyway he asks for something pink.

Then Will comes to see him and Hannibal's indirectly poking around asking, "Am I your therapist or are we having conversations?" and it's so embarrassing, but then Will's like "Yes, is the answer to that" all vague, and you're like phew. Okay, fine. THEN they get to discussing the Chesapeake Ripper and Hannibal alludes to maybe the Ripper not being a solo criminal and, Will, BRUTALLY, goes "Oh now HE has a friend?" And then he LAUGHS. And it's infuriating too because where does Will freaking Graham get off laughing at the Ripper being friendless, the only vague friendship he has IS with the Ripper!

Even prison didn't do Hannibal this dirty. Having his toilet taken away? If this was me, this day alone would give me pre-sleep anxiety for the next 2 decades

[aectpen]

cool in my book - loser sung hanbin x boxer reader

m.list

pairing: sung hanbin x fem!reader

synopsis: reader helps hanbin get revenge on his bully

words: 1.3k

you were doing your usual routine of roaming the halls during the lunch period at school. you told yourself it was calming, and you didn’t need to spend lunch with anyone. but it was because you kinda, no not kinda, you literally had no friends. 

you weren’t friendless in a “oh she’s so shy, i feel horrible for her” way. people thought you were mean and intimidating off of the first glance. sure, you did play into it with your not so nice attitude. getting yourself into plenty of fights, but hey it was always their fault.

you could hear whimpering coming from around the corner. you contemplated walking in the other direction, not wanting to go by them. but, your curiosity got the best of you. who was crying? you wanted to be nosey and guess what happened to them.

once you turned the corner and caught sight of who it was, you stopped in your tracks. the boy from your math class. why would someone have a problem with him? he only comes to school to do his work. he has a reputation of being the quiet, nice guy.

he glanced up at you, his nose and lips smeared with blood, clutching his stomach in pain. while you were known for being quite mean, you weren't immune to moments of vulnerability. seeing his quivering lips and his tear stained cheeks evoked an unavoidable sense of guilt.

after debating on walking away from him, you finally decided to help him, dragging him to the nurse’s office. you sat next to him while the nurse gave him an ice pack and returned to her desk.

 “you could come in with a gun shot wound and they’ll give you frozen vegetables.” you commented, earning a faint giggle from him. “who did that to you?”

“you can just go now.” he looked away.

“come on, i won’t judge.” you nudged him.

“yoon jihyun.”

you looked at him in disbelief. “you’re telling me you let that scrawny ass boy beat you up?” 

“hey! you said you wouldn’t judge!”

“okay, i’m sorry. but why would he do that?” you couldn't help but wonder how he managed to find himself in such a situation when he had his nose buried in a textbook 99.9% of the time.

he scratched the back of his head. “well, i said no to cheating on a test for him.”

“come on.” you pulled him up from the chair.

“where are we going?” he jerked his arm back.

raising an eyebrow, you replied. “we’re gonna jump him.”

“i don’t know who you think i am, but i don’t do that stuff.”

“okay, whatever. meet me right after school at the front gate.”

he wasted no time, practically sprinting to the school entrance the moment classes ended. he didn't have the slightest idea about your intentions, but he had no intention of either wasting your time or incurring your wrath.

"good, you're on time. i like that," you commented casually as you walked right past him.

he trailed closely behind. "where are you taking me?"

"you just love asking questions. what's your name?" you inquired.

"sung hanbin."

"my name is—" you began, but he interrupted.

"yn. everyone knows your name."

"now, can you tell me where we're going? this is the opposite direction of my house, and i have to get home to study," he said, glancing at you as you cranked up the music blaring in your headphones.

you finally disclosed the destination to him once you were down the street from it, nudging him to get his attention.

"a gym? i really don't have time for a workout," he said, considering walking away.

"next time you let him beat you like that, he'll do far worse than leave you with cat scratches and a belly ache," you reasoned. "i'm a boxer, i can teach you a thing or two about fighting back."

upon arriving at the gym, you guided him to the octagon. "take it all off," you instructed, gesturing to his school uniform.

"all of it?" he felt a slight blush tinting his cheeks.

“no, dipshit. leave some room for imagination.” you began putting on sweatpants and discarding your dress shirt and blazer.

he hesitantly took off his dress shirt, shoes, and blazer. “seriously, are you gonna beat me up next?”

he sounded extremely genuine. you couldn't help but laugh.

the rest of the afternoon was dedicated to teaching him various fighting techniques, but you noticed his gentleness. he wasn't a terrible fighter; he simply held back, unwilling to inflict harm on anyone.

“i don’t want to hurt you!” he held his bands behind his back.

“hanbin, i’m asking you to throw a punch. it doesn’t have to connect” you pulled his arms from behind him.

“but what if it does, then you start bleeding. then you’ll hate me.” he pouted.

hanbin’s mannerisms did warm your heart. at least there was still good people out in the world.

after the training session, you sprawled out on the floor, munching on a granola bar. rolling over, you glanced at hanbin, who sat there with his tank top clinging to his skin, his hair damp, and his gaze fixed on the wall. you had to admit, he looked hot. the school uniform certainly didn't do him justice.

you were oblivious to the fact that he had returned your steady gaze, your eyes moving over his biceps and tracing the veins that snaked up his hands.

"is there something on my face?" he asked in a soft tone.

you couldn't help but laugh at the striking contrast. "if our classmates saw you like this, they'd be all over you," you remarked boldly.

he scratched his head, asking, "is that a good or bad thing?"

you stared at him in disbelief. "i've never met someone simultaneously so smart and dumb, sung hanbin. i was saying that you look really attractive."

“oh! thank you,” a wide smile spreading on his face. “i mean, you’re really.. pretty.” he awkwardly looked away from you, twiddling his thumbs.

the next day, during the lunch period, you concocted a plan to get revenge on jihyun for hurting hanbin. after spending the day with him, you only felt more angry that he left hanbin crying in the hallway.

"wait right here," you instructed as you left hanbin in an empty room.

"sure thing," he replied, taking a seat at one of the desks.

you walked to the cafeteria and scanned it for jihyun, quickly hearing his loud voice. “jihyun! can i talk to you for a second?” 

surprisingly, jihyun followed you to the classroom where hanbin was waiting. he pointed at hanbin and asked, "what's this about?"

you rested your hands on your hips. "i'm giving you a chance to apologize to him."

“since when did you of all people become mother theresa.” he laughed. “and you. don’t you feel embarrassed? you can’t handle your stuff like a man? don’t make me bitch you again.”

“don’t talk to him like that,” you punched him square in the jaw.

he looked at you with pure anger before lunging straight at you. pushing you against a desk.

but before his fist could connect, hanbin held his arm back and forced him to the ground. jihyun tried getting up, but hanbin repeatedly punched him. 

you stood off to the side wanting to stop him from sending jihyun to the hospital, but you were highkey impressed. he definitely always had that in him. 

hanbin stopped once jihyun stopped fighting back.

“damn, hanbin. not bad.” you held out your fist.

“i’m telling the principal. i’m getting him expelled!” jihyun cried out.

you saw a flash of panic on hanbin’s face. the last thing he wanted was to get in trouble in school. did you corrupt him?

“you’re not gonna get in trouble,” you reassured him. “i’ll take the blame.”

“no, you can’t. it’s my fault you’re in this mess anyway.”

“my highest grade is a D+. i don't think they’ll lose sleep if i get into another scuffle."

“you people make me sick.” jihyun held his nose and ran out the room.

you two laughed at his dramatic reaction. 

“hanbin, you’re cool in my book.” 

“you were always cool in my book.” he responded.

[spacecasehobbit]

Saltburn does have an important message that a lot of people seem to miss, which is that having sympathetic motivations or a sympathetic backstory doesn't actually negate cruelty or make it right to make other people bear the burden of your own insecurity and pain.

Oliver is a deeply sympathetic character, in that he's awkward and lonely and gets preyed on by a manipulative rich boy who likes to feel like a savior of friendless losers that he eventually gets bored of. Yet Oliver winds up dealing with this by climbing his way to the top of a pile of awful people, resorting to all their worst behaviors to get himself there, and the harm he causes is wrong regardless of the sympathy of his starting circumstances.

Similarly, Farleigh and Venetia are sympathetic characters who take out their own pain on other people (primarily on Oliver, during the movie).

Farleigh is the half black son of Sir James's wayward sister, both a part of the family and yet also treated like this definitely racist family's longest running charity project at the same time. He's constantly performing for his racist family, constantly feeling like an outsider in his own family, never quite as 'good' as them, never quite as 'worthy'. This does make him a deeply sympathetic character, but it doesn't make him any less of a bully towards Oliver (and, likely, other people we don't see on screen, since it's Oliver's story we're watching). He is deeply yet casually cruel towards total strangers, as a way of covering up for his own insecurities over the way he's treated by the Cattons. He's sympathetic, but he still causes harm in a way that isn't excused by being sympathetic.

Venetia, too, seems to have a very sympathetic background, from what little we see of her. She has a mother who gossips about her eating disorder and low self-esteem to relative strangers. Felix finds it completely believable that she would be wandering around drunk at night trying to kiss his friends, and he only thinks it makes her embarrassing, with no indication that this behavior should actually be worrying, if it had been true. She also doesn't seem to do anything with her life except hang out in her home developing drinking problems. She also hits on her brother's friends even while knowing that he will cut them off as friends if they sleep with her, and she responds to her own pain or rejection by lashing out with cruelty in return. Both times she feels hurt - whether by Oliver directly, when he picks Felix over her, or because she is grieving and Oliver is simply an easy target for her pain - she takes out her own hurt on Oliver by trying to make him feel small and hurt instead. It's sympathetic, sure, but it's not actually okay, either. It's sympathetic, but it's still cruelty for the sake of cruelty, and it's still wrong.

One moral of Saltburn is that returning cruelty with cruelty, whether it's revenge or cruelty turned on random strangers to assuage one's own pain, leads only to more hurt and pain and suffering.

One message of Saltburn that I'd argue is very important is that a person can be sympathetic and also still be wrong.

[williamrikers]

okay. fuck. i need to talk about be my favorite. because jesus christ, this might be THE smartest show currently airing, which is a miracle at a time when la pluie is also airing.

so, this episode we learned more about kawi's and pisaeng's family backgrounds, and oh boy, is there a lot to unpack there... and it all works to explain why the original timeline was the way it was, why everything turned out so fucked up for both of them in the beginning.

(very rambly thoughts under the cut)

first of all, it's important to note how much of an impact kawi's father's death had. it was always clear that this was a traumatizing event in kawi's life, literally the first thing he did when he went back in time was to ditch the (supposed) girl of his dreams so he could be with his father, tearfully hug him and tell him "i love you, dad".

now, we're learning that after his father's death, kawi completely gave up on himself. he literally didn't see any reason to pursue a better life or his dreams because his father would never get to see it and be proud of him. i think this also explains to some extent why kawi has so much trouble accepting help from others: he has internalized the idea that he somehow has to do everything on his own, so his father (and others) can be proud of him. it's interesting that kawi obviously loves his father a lot but they're not really close: they don't see each other very often and in the first episode, it's established that they don't usually talk to each other about their feelings, either.

so. everything else that happened to kawi in the og timeline (knot making fun of his singing, pisaeng "stealing" his spot as pear's secret buddy, his falling out with max, kawi being too much of an introvert to make any new friends at uni) was compounded by the fact that after his father's death, kawi saw no hope for himself any more, and he ended up alone, isolated, friendless, depressed and deeply unhappy.

and now that we're learning more about pisaeng as well, it's becoming clear that something similar happened to pisaeng in the og timeline as well, only for him it was not a single event but more the reality of him being gay and having a crush on kawi (come on. nobody can tell me he DIDN'T crush on that cute awkward nerd as soon as kawi dropped his lil notebook in front of the seniors on the first day of uni), but kawi never even speaking to him and completely ignoring his existence... while pisaeng's own mother was adamant about pisaeng staying as deep in the closet as possible because it's bad for her political ambitions to have an out gay son. she basically tells him "you can feel whatever you want to feel but telling people about it is something that you should only do with my permission".

so, pisaeng has been getting told by his mother to stay in the closet since he was 15 years old (JESUS!!!), and since his crush is obviously unrequited and hopeless, why should he risk anything by being honest about it? his family is rich, pear's family too, their marriage is one of convenience for pisaeng, who gets to keep living his good life while placating his mother and spending his life with a person he's friends with, even if he can never love her romantically. from his mother's perspective, pear and pisaeng must be a good match, and pisaeng has no real reason to fight any of it. because coming out as gay would do nothing but cause him trouble and make him unhappy.

but in the new timeline, kawi is there as pisaeng's friend. and pisaeng falls for him so much deeper than he ever could have done in the og timeline. and now he HAS to figure himself out, HAS to confront his own queerness, not for kawi or even with kawi (utterly brilliant choice in the last episode to have pisaeng go on this journey alone!) but for himself, because it is becoming clear that he is living a lie and that he can't go on like this. having kawi in his life changes everything for pisaeng -- even if they weren't in a bl and were simply friends, this storyline would still be incredibly compelling because even while they're not in a relationship, kawi and pisaeng keep challenging each other, keep changing each other, keep making each other better, more honest people.

when they're in bed together and kawi asks why pisaeng likes him, he says much of the same stuff he's said before: that pisaeng is better, richer, more handsome than him, that he can't understand what pisaeng sees in him. but he says it differently this time, not with anger or defiance like in the beginning of their friendship, but so honestly, he's able to open up to pisaeng in a way he never could before just because he has had pisaeng in his life and they have had an impact on each other.

i keep coming back to this because it's something i rarely see in stories and bmf is doing it AMAZINGLY. both of the protagonists go on a journey of growth and self-improvement through knowing each other, they literally make each other better. and even though kawi is not at a point where he can see them as equals, he can honestly talk about this now, can voice his feelings of insecurity in a way he was never able to before -- and so, pisaeng can say, well, i think you're cute, does there have to be anything more to it than that? he doesn't try to talk kawi out of his self-perception, merely states his own perception of him in a way kawi can't argue away. i think this is a smart writing choice because kawi has to accept that pisaeng finds him cute, he can't say "no you don't" without accusing him of lying.

and oh, my baby kawi being so incredibly deep in denial is tugging at my heartstrings. there's a very interesting parallel happening with kawi's singing, something he was obviously dreaming of as a career when he was a child but completely gave up on -- until pisaeng and pear helped him gain confidence to put himself out there once again. i think something very similar is happening with his sexuality: he has shoved the truth of himself so far back in his own mind that it takes a long time and the knowledge that pisaeng is into him for kawi to even entertain the thought of maybe also being into him maybe. there's a certain safety in that, just like there's safety in having pear there while he reads his song lyrics to a room full of people. and that's not a bad thing! this show has consistently shown (and outright told) us that people need to help each other, that literally no one is capable of making it on their own, that everyone deserves love and support. and kawi needs a lot of love and support to be able to even let himself think of pisaeng in romantic terms. i am seriously excited to see what happens next, now that kawi has crossed the line between them, now that he got a taste of what he could have if only he let himself.

there are probably a million things i haven't said that i can't think of right now. but every single episode leaves me more impressed than the last, the story is written SO well and presented in such a smart way, later revelations recontextualizing things we already know, and with every week, everything makes more and more sense. and learning more about their families really explains a lot about all three of them (god, i haven't even mentioned pear's rich upper-class alcoholic father, a lot to unpack there as well!), and how they got where they were in the og timeline as well as in the current timeline.

thanks for reading 😘

[punkeropercyjackson]

When i was almost entierly friendless and lost in myself,lesbians and trans women gave me their friendship in the form of kind words,support,defending me,making things for me they knew i'd love,fun hangouts and did and have done nothing but make me love myself in my transmasculine and nonbinary/bigender girlhood even when i don't know them and are the type of woman i relate the most to like i do my fellow black women and i'm now dating a trans woman who was my best friend for a long time and stuck by me through stick and thin and i love them-they are pre op and e and have specifically asked for they/them until they can start their transition-with my entire heart,soul and life because they were exactly the person,the kinda girl i could've used in my life as a bullied autistic tomboy that was getting fucked up without even knowing it and i deeply admire my lesbian friends femme and butch alike for their amazing gender expression and how beautiful their love is and they've said the same about me

Lesbians and transfems are not hateful.They're wonderful people who're full of so much love and just because with the exception of my girlfriend that love's not romantic that dosen't make it any less valuable and you 'interfighting is stupid,we're supposed to be having t4t sex!!!' niggas need to lower your borderning on sexual harrassing voices because you sound like creepy douchebags and like conservatives too when you rag on 'f*mboys',a tma slur to begin with,for being too feminine and kiddy and cringe or whatever rethoric you haven't unlearned.If a lesbian or a trans girl dosen't like you,there's a very high chance you did something to provoke them or him or her or xem or [insert the neopronoun that will piss you off the most here]and you might've done it on purpose.The patriarchy dosen't stop at cishets and it's worth noting that pretty much all my trans guy friends are somewhere on the nonbinary spectrum.Don't be talkin' bout lesbians and tgirls being too harsh on men and having 'male experiences to analyze' at all actually,because you're implying a lot that never applies

If you want to be as much of a man as cis men,then you be prepared for the fact that you're as capable as misogyny as them,ESPECIALLY if you're cis passing and i never will be because i'm so femme presenting and naturally adrogynous looking thanks to being black/white that i find my looks perfect for my gender and i'm still a man just as i am a woman.Lesbians don't have fuck men to be 'real allies' and you can't make them the bad guy for not wanting men if you get to the good guy for not wanting to be near girlhood at all and unless they wish to be identified as such by multigenderhood or another factor,trans women have every right to not want to be lumped in with men or lack of gender at all.Intersectionality is very important.In all aspects.Not just when it might benefit you.Be serious just silly goofy little guys,you haven't been funny since you started that shit and i'm going to strap you to a Looney Tunes car unless you stop telling lesbians to stop defining themselves by not loving men and bullying tgirls for loving being girls.Those are my best friends and my girlfriend and my friends' friends you're harrasing you ungrateful cunts

[aokozaki]

In Chainsaw Man Part 2, we're introduced to Asa Mitaka. She's a bullied, isolated kid. Socially awkward, ostracized, and angry about it. Yet, even still, she has a deep-seated desire to do the right thing.

When she and Yuko, a girl who's actually friendly to her, are trying to find a Devil to hunt as part of school extracurricular work, a different Devil explodes onto the scene and sends debris flying everywhere.

Shit, Yuko's both unconscious, and her leg's been pierced by debris. She's in no state to run, and Yoru (the War Devil) tells Asa they're probably not strong enough to win, but since Yuko's basically dead already anyway, might as well turn her into a weapon and give Asa better odds.

But she refuses this. She picks up Yuko in her arms and starts running for dear life. Because, despite everything, Asa Mitaka wants to do the right thing.

And then.

It's technically her fault her parents died, even. They were all running from a Devil attack when Asa spotted an injured cat, swooping down to grab it and help it run.

She trips. Her mother helps her up. Her mother is swept up in the Devil's storm.

But still, she managed to save the cat. That's what the entire Chapter is named after. Chapter 102. Save The Cat

This isn't just compared to Asa saving Yuko, but also Yuko reaching out to Asa in the first place. They're both friendless and bullied but both of them agree: They want to do the right thing. It doesn't matter if they fail, so long as their heart's in the right place.

But this isn't the only cat in this chapter.

Asa refusing to leave Yuko turns out to be the right thing to do, because in the few seconds she bought her, Chainsaw Man appears to destroy the attacking Devil!

But, in classic supervillain move, the Devil offers a sadistic choice. A choice right out of that one classic Spider-Man comic that keeps making its way into adaptations.

You gotta choose which one to save, Denji! A student with a bright future, or a car full of old people.

Where Spider-Man might say he can do both, Spider-Man always does both, Denji's solution is... different.

He obliterates his way through the boy, sending the car crashing in a flaming wreck on the ground, and manages to kill the Devil that way. Why on earth do it like that?

So, titling the whole chapter "Save the Cat".

It's saying two things about Asa. Her desire to help people no matter what is a good and noble thing, it's her strongest virtue. But also it's a greatest-good absolutism that might lead to her making some bad decisions.

Like, y'know, helping the War and Famine Devils with their plans. That part's probably not gonna end well for her.

[whitemilkandbacon]

Phoenix Drop High Rewrite Chapter 1

Hey guys, we got bored and became re-obsessed with Aphmau again so we decided to start re-writing some series starting with phoenix drop. We're currently waiting for the request for our joint ao3 account to go through but we thought we should upload it here since we're planning to update the tumbler with the fic a little bit before we update the ao3 in the future anyway! Make sure if you enjoy to follow us for more chapters and general Aphmau content!

Thanks,

WhiteMilkandBacon :p

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Aphmau desperately scanned the crowd of highschoolers, looking for anyone who was alone. Unfortunately for her, everyone was already grouped-off, pleasantly chatting about their summer break and exchanging wistful comments about their shared memories at previous schools. She sighed defeatedly as the fact began dawning on her that she was completely alone.

“Double fuck…” she let out a shaky breath, willing her legs to move forward and enter the grounds. Aphmau attempts to sneak past the groups of teens completely unnoticed, catching snippets of conversation causing her nerves to spike more than they already were. 

“...that delinquent group who keeps tagging the school…”

“...werewolves are actually at the school…”

“...the principal is actually insane…”

Her thoughts raced a million miles an hour with different ‘what if’ scenarios. Her overthinking was abruptly cut short by colliding with another student. She stumbled backwards quickly trying to regain her balance. She snapped her gaze upwards, locking onto the abrasive figure. 

“Um? Rude much?” 

He scowled and rolled his eyes purposely bumping her shoulder as he walked past continuing to look at his phone. 

She huffed making her way to the door, just wanting to find her lessons and get the day over with. 

“Just get in and get to class…things can only get better, Aphmau… you've got this…” she hyped herself up and grabbed onto the door’s handle. 

It didn’t budge. 

“You have to be fucking kidding me…”

She tried again however it remained firmly closed. She heard some giggles from behind her not helping with her current irritation. She snapped around to find the source of the giggling, finding a sophomore stood watching her struggle. 

“You know that's a push door right?” 

…

…

“...fuck…”

She felt heat rise to her cheeks, flushing her face a rosy-red. Irene, that was so embarrassing. 

“Don’t worry too much about it,” the sophomore soothed, a kind smile on her lips, “I did the same thing on my first day too.”

Aphmau fumbled with the hem off her sleeve, unsure how to resume. She wanted someone friendly to talk to so badly, however actually getting past the awkwardness seemed far more difficult than she could have ever imagined. It was different when she was online, there was no blank staring and uneasy silence, just letters typed out on a page with various emoticons to convey whatever she or her teammate was feeling.

“I’m Teony, by the way,” the other spoke, coaxing the freshman out of her anxious spiralling, “I’m a teacher’s aid, so if you need anything I’m quite happy to help. I can help you find your friends, if you need.”

The offer was well-meaning and genuine but Aphmau couldn’t help but wince. It wasn’t Teony’s fault that she was unaware of her friendless-status, but the reminder still stung all the same.

The silence stretched on between them, only interrupted by the din of constant chattering of other excited freshmen and the upperclassmen arriving and weaving past them to meet with their own circles of friends or to enter the school building. Aphmau watched as Teony’s expression remained perfectly patient and inviting, her cedar locks of hair framing her face perfectly.

“I.. um.. Sorry,” Aphmau laughed sheepishly, just to break the uncomfortable atmosphere that her lack of response had created. Peering up, she noted that Teony was still entirely unbothered at how difficult she was making this interaction seem, “I don’t have any friends here.”

To this, the older girl’s eyebrows shot up in genuine surprise, however her expression held no judgement. 

“None at all?” she commented curiously, and slapped a hand over her mouth in horror as if realising how blunt and rude that sounded, “Oh my Irene- I didn’t mean to offend you or anything, it’s just that people normally come to highschool with a previously-made friend group from middle-school… Not that not having an already-made friend group is anything to be worried about!”  

To both girls’ surprise, Aphmau just began to giggle. All of the nerves and frustrations of the morning finally overwhelming her, combined with the relief of seeing how Teony had stumbled and struggled with her wording, released a significant amount of weight on her shoulders that she wasn’t even aware she was carrying.

Teony blanched, momentarily looking extremely startled, before she too began to laugh. Nervous and unsure at first, more so joining in to try and understand what was so funny, but as the two continued to laugh it was as if something slotted into place and the strange tension dissolved for the air.

“I’m… I was homeschooled up until now,” Aphmau gasped out between bouts of laughter, a soft pink dusting her cheeks, “That’s why I don’t know anyone.”

Teony’s expression settled on something akin to genuine surprise and sympathy, her eyebrows subtly knitting together as the laughter faded and she prepared herself to speak once more.

“That makes sense,” she replied cheerfully, shrugging her shoulders back as if to shake the remnants of the prior awkwardness, “Well, you know me now! So you officially can’t say you know no-one!”

Aphmau smiled.

“Well since you didn’t get a map from your middle school, i guess i should show you around!” Teony made a move forward only for a teacher to call for her. 

“Teony!....homeroom…chaotic kids…my markers…help…” he panted out causing the sophomore to sigh. 

“I'm so sorry I have to go help. If you head inside, past the lockers you can probably find someone to help you there! Have a great first day!” she smiled running off to help the teacher.

“...just fucking perfect…” Aphmau sighed. “Alone once again…” she sulked making her way inside following Teony’s instructions. She tried to look on the bright side smiling as she realised maybe not everyone at the school was so bad. 

Smack. 

…nevermind..

Aphmau fell to the floor clutching her nose, hot pain shooting through her face.

“Fuck! What the shit?!” she glared up at the moss coloured locker door that suddenly appeared in front of her. “Does no one look where theyre fucking going?! Who the fuck opens a locker in someones face like that?!” Aphmau continued to angrily swear at the locker before a strikingly-blonde boy slowly peered out from around the side of the jade metal door. 

“Uhm… I’m sorry?” he murmured shakily.

She felt the sudden pang of despair as her face blanched, judging by the expression of deep guilt and sorrow, she’d just yelled at someone who had made a genuine mistake.  Of course, trust her luck.

To say that his eyes were blue would be the understatement of the century, they were so bright that she honestly felt a little uncomfortable. Beneath them, his tan cheeks were lightly dusted with golden freckles and an embarrassed blush was very quickly causing them to flush a rosy pink.

Aphmau paused, mouth slightly-agape. He was familiar in a way that she couldn’t name, something about the way his curly cowlick swooped down to obscure the tip of his right brow, how his eyes shone with the promise of an apology, how she suddenly found herself unable to speak.

“Oh…” she took the boy’s outstretched hand, unsure when it had been lended to her and tried to recover from whatever that was, “Don’t worry about it too much, I guess. But for future reference, maybe be more careful when you’re opening your locker.”

Laughing somewhat tensely, the other half-closed the offending door, revealing more of himself in the process. He was tall, with a filled-out frame that she wouldn’t have expected from someone of his age, and his uniform looked worn in a way that suggested this wasn’t his first year at Phoenix Drop.

His face morphed into a strained smile, obviously still guilty about whacking her straight in the nose. With a well-meaning sigh, he agreed, “Honestly, you’re right. I wasn’t thinking, sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She shrugged, glad that the throbbing of her nose had basically disappeared entirely, “Eh. I’m tough, so it doesn’t hurt anymore, really,” as she continued to discreetly scan his appearance, she still couldn’t shake the thought that he was awfully familiar, “Well, I’d like to at least know the name of my assailant.”

The wince Aphmau got in response to her joke told her that maybe it wasn’t as funny as she’d intended, still, a jab at one’s ego didn’t hurt as much as a locker door to the face, she would know. 

“My name’s Garroth, Garroth Ro’Maeve. I’m still sorry about the locker by the way, really sorry,” he pulled the last textbook out of his locker and stuffed it inside of his bag, “I’m a Sophomore, so if you need any help with anything, it’s the least I can do,” there was a brief silence, in which his brows furrowed and he seemed to come to a conclusion unbeknownst to Aphmau, “...especially for such a stunning girl.”

Once again, she was speechless.

“Ga-roth!” A voice trilled from somewhere behind Aphmau, the strange pronunciation of Garroth’s name not going unnoticed from either of them. She watched in quiet curiosity as his body seemed to initially relax and then immediately tense.

Upon turning, she was met with the sight of three girls, two sharing a vague resemblance in their faces and the other disinterested, completely engrossed in whatever was on her phone. The one who’d called Garroth’s name - however weirdly she’d said it - had the aura akin to a bird-of-prey, with the confidence of a lion. Her teeth-baring grin and vibrant magenta hair did nothing to dispel this image.

The other, who shared some indiscernible resemblance to her, stood with her arms firmly folded across her chest, scowling. The phone-intrigued girl still made no effort to raise her head, even as the other two came even closer to Aphmau and Garroth.

“Ga-roth, did you not hear me, love?” she practically whined, encircling her arm around the sleeve of his blazer. Aphmau internally pulled a face, finding her display of affection uncomfortable for both her and other unfortunate onlookers and Garroth, who also seemed a bit out of his depth, attempting to subtly and kindly un-intertwine their his arm from hers.

Not taking the hint, she merely held on a little tighter, judging from the sudden increase in proximity. She reached to fix Garroth’s blazer lapel, casting her eye over to Aphmau and raking her piercing gaze up her. Never before had Aphmau felt like a scientific specimen, but she supposed there was a first for everything.

“Uh, what was that, Ivy?” Garroth finally stuttered out, looking a little bewildered and unsure.

“Nothingggg!” she sang, beaming, before she returned that frosty glare to Aphmau. “Who’s she?” She spat, glacial eyes narrowing in disdain.

Garroth followed Ivy’s eyeline to Aphmau, making direct eye-contact with her. 

“The freshmans? Oh! That’s…” he trailed off, realising rather quickly that he didn’t yet know her name. She continued to hold his gaze while he searched for an answer and merely raised her brow humorously, as if to say ‘Really? You hit me in the face with a locker and you don’t even know my name?’

“Aphmau,” she finished for him, just glad to put him out of his misery as even she was starting to feel sorry for the guy, “And you must be Ivy!”

Surprisingly, Ivy’s cold gaze filled with warmth and delight. She flicked her eyes from Aphmau to Garroth and then back to Aphmau.

“He spoke about me?” she asked, unable to stop her face from spreading into a wide and sickeningly lovestruck grin.

“No,” Aphmau corrected, watching with self-serving glee as all of Ivy’s hopes and dreams were crushed before her very eyes, “He said your name just now when you spoke so…”

“Oh, I’m surprised he didn’t mention me,” she seethed, “Seeing as we have such an extensive relationship.”

Garroth visibly winced, which Aphmau had to feign a cough at to hide her outburst of laughter. Luckily, Ivy didn’t see through her deception, instead she remained stationary, arms firmly crossed beneath her breast and teal eyes boring holes into Aphmau’s own. She then watched as the amusement briefly drained from the girl’s face, her gaze focussing on the gap between Aphmau’s nose and cupid’s bow. At the same time, the girl in question felt something hot drip from her right nostril.

“Looks like someone’s got a nosebleed!” One of the other girls, who had a vague resemblance to Ivy, exclaimed snarkily, pointing at where Aphmau could feel hot syrupy-liquid gathering beneath her nose. Tentatively, she brushed her white sleeve against her nose, not at-all surprised when it came back stained a deep crimson.

“Oh my Irene!” Garroth gasped, mouth remaining agape in a mixture of guilt and alarm. He took a few steps forwards, entirely disentangling himself from Ivy’s toxic grip, “I’ll take you to the nurse. I’m so so sorry!”

“No need, Ga-roth,” Ivy chirped, eyes narrowed and sinister, “Me and the girls were heading that way to class, anyway. We’ll drop her off.”

Aphmau watched as Garroth glanced from her to Ivy, his expression strained and torn. She could practically watch the debate going on in his brain plain as day on his face.

“Would that be okay, Aphmau?” the blonde asked, fiddling with the lapel of his blazer awkwardly, “Ivy’s a good friend of mine, you can trust her. It’s just my class is on the complete opposite end of the school to the Nurse’s Office and I really don’t want to be late on my first day back…”

Admittedly, Aphmau could think of nothing worse than Ivy and her pack of equally petty friends but she could tell that Garroth was already antsy to get to his lesson and by asking him to take her instead, she’d be putting him in a more stressful situation than he already was. Not to mention, she was too nervous to actually voice her dislike for Ivy and her gang just yet, so there wasn’t any hope of avoiding it anyway.

“Yeah!” She breathed, hoping that her false optimism was at least somewhat believable. “That’s great, actually. So great.”

Garroth was either dense enough that he couldn’t see through her obvious lies, or for his own sake he was choosing to ignore it. With a wane smile he looked gratefully to Aphmau and then Ivy, who beamed sickeningly-sweetly at him, before he lugged his backpack onto his shoulder and slammed his locker shut, twisting the key until a satisfying click sounded. He then started off past Aphmau and towards some grand-looking stairs, at his departure, Aphmau felt her breath hitch in her throat.

“So…” Aphmau finally said after an uncomfortably long silence, “Where abouts is the Nurse’s Office.”

Neither party moved, instead the three girls in front of her exchanged glances, silently communicating something that she couldn’t decipher. If she didn’t feel alienated before, she certainly did now.

“Oh… it’s like… this way…” the girl with long ebony locks drawled, icy-blue eyes shifting lazily to the direction from whence they’d came.

“Lily, we have to actually take her, you know?” Ivy hissed, nudging Lily harshly enough to consider it a shove. The other girl, Lily, didn’t seem phased at all, instead using the push to step into action. 

Much to Aphmau’s irritation, the girls lead her through the school, giggling and whispering the entire time. Although it was obvious already by the other’s distaste for the freshman, the giggling had confirmed the fact that they were planning something but in Aphmau’s eyes she didn't care, just wanting to go to the nurse to deal with her bloodied nose. 

So it was safe to say she was confused when the three older girls stopped at the front of school. Lily roughly grabbed Aphmau, pushing her forward and causing her to stumble. She struggled to maintain her balance, snapping her head to glare at the three who stood giggling at her. Anger and embarrassment flashed through her as other students stopped to stare at the scene. 

Don't they have anything better to do?! She thought sourly.

“If I were you freshman I'd go home and transfer.” Ivy giggled bitterly. 

Aphmau became aware of how loud she was being. Everyone was staring at them. Each set of eyes she could see watching her, either smirking, giggling, or cringing on her behalf. It filled her with an overwhelming feeling of dread. Still, she couldn't help but want to sock the two of them. She would love nothing more than to punch those stupid smirks off their faces, give them a broken nose to match her. She balled her fists at her side, clenching her jaw.

“Everyone knows what a pathetic and embarrassing freak you are.” she laughed, turning to walk away. 

“Irene knows she doesn't belong here.” Alex spat, giggling with Ivy as they walked to class.

Aphmau’s face felt hot. What the fuck. She felt her hand trembling, tears welling in her eyes as she struggled to contain her anger. Everyone was watching. All those eyes looking on with pity or amusement. 

She could never show her face here again. She could never show her face in this town again. But if she went home now her Mum would be so disappointed. She promised she'd try today. She’d- 

Someone tapped her shoulder lightly “Uhm… are you oka-”

“Fuck! Can you just mind your own fucking business?! Does every-fucking-body in public school have to be involved in absolutely everything?! Can’t I even get to the stupid fucking Nurse’s office without some total dipshit bothering me or fucking assaulting me, either verbally or physically?! So what in Irene’s name could you possibly want?!” Aphmau practically screamed at this total stranger, causing the final stragglers heading to class to down-right glare. Aphmau shot a withering look right back in their direction and the gaggle of students finally decided to mind their own business. 

The poor boy she’d just ripped into stood there struggling for words. 

“I’m... sorry?” he spluttered, rubbing his glassy eyes. 

Aphmau sighed, guilt eating at her. It wasn't his fault that Ivy had a vile personality or that her day was fucking shit. 

“Sorry… none of that was your fault…” she grumbled out, ready to just go and look for the Nurse herself, but not before the golden-brown haired boy spoke up once more. 

“Uhm wait! Do you need me to take you to the nurse?” He offered, somewhat sheepishly.

She turned around, narrowing her eyes at him. 

“Why do you care?” she spat. 

His heterochromatic eyes shone with surprise, blatantly bewildered by Aphmau's response. 

“Well your nose is still bleeding pretty bad and it's obvious Ivy wasn’t showing you…” he blinked, not quite registering her harsh tone. 

Aphmau stared at the older student for a moment, a small laugh of disbelief escaping from her. She shook her head with a sigh.

 “Just…show me the nurses office..” she spoke slowly, completely defeated. 

The other took the lead, walking just a few paces ahead of her. It was a little awkward, but at least it gave her time to properly look at the first person who wasn’t being a complete nuisance to her that day.

His eyes were peculiar, they were primarily a pale sage with a jutting portion of cerulean blue striking through his left iris. If she wasn’t mistaken, it almost looked like he’d had eyeliner on, the remnants sticking to his waterline from the previous day. The older boy’s hair parted into well-styled curtains and had a shine to it that suggested he took his hair care very seriously.

The welcome silence was soon broken as the tanned boy suddenly began a spiel about soccer and the sports teams available at Phoenix Drop. Unwilling to contribute due to sheer social exhaustion, she merely nodded along as the one-sided conversation steered from techniques of kicking a soccer ball, to the fashion associated it, to then men’s fashion in general.

A brief walk and a lengthy explanation on ‘why having good taste in fashion doesn’t mean you’re attracted to men’ later, Aphmau was finally sat in the Nurse's office with a tissue to her nose, waiting for the bleeding to stop. After the nurse had checked she wasn't concussed and there were no further injuries, other than her wounded pride, she was left now with a rather-chatty sophomore  smiling at her. 

“My name is Laurance, by the way! I'm sorry Ivy didn't give you the warmest of welcomes to the school but I promise we're not all like that!” 

Aphmau rolled her eyes in response, completely doubting the statement.

 “I'm sure you're not…” she mumbled sarcastically. 

There was a moment of awkward silence before Laurance spoke up again. “Soooo freshman, what school did you go to? Do you know anyone here or share classes with any of your middle school friends?” 

“Irene, you just want to know everything, huh?” she narrowed her eyes. He attempted to hide the wince that crossed his face and Aphmau sighed, reminding herself that her foul mood wasn't his fault…yet… 

“No. I was homeschooled.” she replied bluntly. 

“Oh!” he raised his eyebrows in surprise, and something else that she couldn’t quite decipher. “That's so cool- uhm… What's your name? I feel a bit weird calling you Freshman when I'm trying to have a conversation with you.” he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. 

A small smile crept onto Aphmau's face. Although a bit awkward, Laurence seemed friendly enough. “Aphmau. It's nice to meet you, Laurance.” 

“Aphmau huh? A pretty name for a pretty girl.” 

Nevermind. She instantly took back anything and everything nice she’d thought about Laurance. Despite her irritation, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed. She opened her mouth to rip this sophomore a new one but unfortunately not before the nurse came back.

“The bleeding should've stopped now. Head to homeroom now and come back to see me if your nose starts bleeding again or you start feeling lightheaded or dizzy.” She smiled while shooing the two out of the room.

“Shit. I don't even have my schedule yet.” Aphmau swore, causing Laurance to chuckle a little. 

“Come on. I'll show you to the office to grab your schedule and then I'll take you to your homeroom.” he offered with a genuine beam.

After enduring Laurance’s incessant chattering about topics she frankly didn’t care for and occasional flirts for the better part of ten minutes, she had finally gotten her schedule and her social battery was completely drained. Despite herself, she thanked Laurance for his help and quickly walked into her assigned homeroom classroom, sitting down in the only available seat. Thankfully, her teacher was still fumbling about with his laptop, struggling to set it up to the projector so it wouldn't be a problem about how late she was. 

She let out a sigh of relief sinking into her chair. Finally , a moment to breathe…

“Ahem…” a shy voice cleared their throat. 

…are you fucking serious…

“Hi! Im uh- I’m Travis! What's your name?” The emerald-eyed boy asked shakily. 

Aphmau slowly looked up, her right eye twitching in irritation. The boy sat next to her visibly tensed, obviously nervous and regretting his decision to initiate a conversation. 

“I'm sorry! Just ignore me!” Travis squawked out , slipping off his chair, almost falling before turning back to look down at his desk. Aphmau couldn't help the small amused smile crossing her face at the boy’s behaviour, washing away her previous irritation. 

“No need to apologise Travis. I’m Aphmau!” she smiled politely. “I'm sorry I’ve had a bit of a stressful morning…” she giggled awkwardly. The boy's face lit up as she spoke to him. 

“Oh no no it's fine! Sorry! I'm just so glad you're talking to me!” he spoke excitedly. “I don't really know anyone and I don't want to be alone…” he confessed.

Her smile widened in excitement. “Oh my irene, me too!” 

Travis chuckled, matching her sudden burst of energy. “Oh thank Irene! What do you say we be like not..alone buddies?” he spoke, sounding unsure about the name cringing slightly. 

Aphmau giggled. “You know what? That sounds perfect, not alone buddy.” 

Aphmau and Travis began to talk about hobbies and interests, getting hyper off of each other's excitement. It didn't take long to find their mutual love for video games. 

“Video games are always such a great way to find people with similar interests!” the white haired boy smiled brightly. 

“Yeah, I mean I have this friend called FC who I've been messaging for years and we met playing together online!” she spoke happily in response. 

“And that brings me to the first point of discussion for today's homeroom session.” The teacher stood right behind them listening to their conversation. The two freshmen jumped in their own skin. 

“Welcome to your first year of phoenix drop high school. Today we’ll be discussing internet safety and stranger danger.” his voice remained monotone as he locked eyes with the two teens.

Are you fucking serious…

[ghostclefable]

Does anyone in 2A know that Izuku is (almost) quirkless again?????

If no one but All Might and the Bakugo’s know, I think Izuku is dreading telling anyone else. Izuku has probably been feeling really isolated since the war. (How many of his friends came to see him in the hospital, or were even allowed to see him based on his/their injuries? We just don't know.) Plus, he's probably worried that his friends will abandon him once he becomes quirkless again. Even though he knows he can be a quirkless hero, there's a part of him that's afraid of being the 13 year old friendless quirkless loser again. Because if he can't talk to them now, when they think he's just a little beat up from the war, would they ever talk to him when he's nothing?

Which leads me to another thought.

Izuku might try to give Aoyama his spot in Class 2A at his going away party. Whether he's told his classmates about OFA or not, i think this is a strong possibility based on his mood and interactions in 425. He could easily say, "I'm not going to have a quirk much longer anyway, I could switch to the general course now that Shinso's transferred, Aoyama deserves to be here more than me (etc.)" We're gonna see that and/or Izuku staring into the void wondering why he can't feel happy at this party.

[ambiguouspuzuma]

change of state

she ended things on harvest day; a breaking up, which by the way was mutual (at least as much as apples would fall at her touch; dangling down, remaining calm as she reached out with eager palm, and nestled perfectly in place as once our fingers interlaced. made to fit, or so it felt until the final blow was dealt).

she said that we might still be friends but I was friendless in the end. left to address my tortured pleas to sympathetic orchard trees; sing dirges for times long ago to verges where the nettles grow. left only with a heart that grieves for memories scattered with the leaves.

all things have their time, I know. love lives and dies likes things that grow. fruit ripens and, untended, rots. we were in bloom and now we're not. there comes the hour for picking fruit, or else it falls to feed the roots; to compost back into the plants given in death a second chance.

but some fruit cling on past their hour decaying where they hang, turned sour by memories of better days, our springtime blossom, summer haze. I slump against the trees, bereft still staring at the space she left, the blackened apple in my chest now decomposing as I rest, and focus on that empty path, refuse to face this aftermath, the flowers of our youth now spent: this autumn of our discontent.

[allastoredeer]

I just read your entire Just Kiss Already series up to the latest one with the huge fight between the two and ARGH you write them both so well!! Especially Lucifer, his anxiety and stumbling-through-his-words dialogue that makes him oh so relatable to me are perfect. And as an English Language and Literature graduate who's not a native English speaker, your writing has some GREAT vocabulary and phrases I absolutely love.

As someone aroaceage myself (on all 3 spectrums not 100% completely aromantic, asexual, or agender, just FYI since people forget it's a spectrum and then attack me way too often and now I'm wary) it's so refreshing to see another aroace person writing Alastor with his "I hate personal space invasion" attitude that I share. I strictly hate giving up my privacy and your explanation for how Al feels makes so much sense (and also makes me feel like I won't be friendless my whole life, so thanks :') if Alastor can end up with someone despite hating intimacy and if Lucifer can despite being awkward and desperate then damn. Maybe so can I). Oh, and Vox being the pathetic desperate wet tissue he is is soo entertaining. I don't babygirl-ise characters often but he's just so. Fun to watch embarass himself. I can't help it.

I came to your blog just to say this but got a lot of RadioApple discourse that I'm honestly a bit intimidated by since I wasn't aware of all this happening at all, I just follow a very select few creators and now I don't know whether I'm doing something wrong. Personally I don't care much about top/bottom dynamics (except in certain situations) so I'm just confused and worried lol. And what's with the outfits and likes??? I'm out of the entire loop. But I'm glad conversations are happening when they should!

Anyway, I canNOT wait for more from your series, wherever it goes. I'd draw fanart or write fics in your AU with your permission but I'm currently having every creative block known to humanity for several years. Somehow.

I usually comment on AO3 itself but you connected your Tumblr after every chapter so it felt right to come here, even tho I'm not too active on social media sites. I hope you don't mind my mostly-unrelated rambles. All the kudos to your fics!

First and foremost: You aren't doing anything wrong.

It's fine if you're out of the loop. There's really no loop to begin with. It's just some fandom tropes and characterizations a handful of us don't enjoy seeing and we're ranting about it LOL If you like any of those tropes or characterizations, or follow people who make art/fics with them, there's nothing wrong with that either. There's no need to be worried, you're doing just fine 😊

Secondly, THANK YOU!!!

I don't think anyone is 100% ace, aro, or agender, it's a spectrum, afterall. There's no meter you have to reach to be considered 100% a sexuality, you just are :) If you say you're ace, aro, or agender, that's what you are, and anyone who wants to argue about it can go kick rocks.

I base a lot of how I write Alastor's aceness on myself, so hearing people say they feel the same is just (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) It's so amazing to hear. I'm a very private person and I like my personal space; I'm not a very physically touchy person, and thankfully, I have an amazing friend (who's love language is physical touch and affection) who knows and understands this and doesn't touch or hug me without permission - I love her so much T.T

Vox is such a pathetic wet tissue and that's what I love about him

(づ￣ ³￣)づ I wanna give him a little kiss on his big, flat forehead.

I'm so happy you're enjoying my fics and relating to them so much. I don't think there's a higher compliment an author can get than their readers saying that they saw themselves in the story and characters. It's such an amazing feeling, it makes me all warm and tingly inside.

Once your creative block lets up - whenever that may be - you have my full permission to draw and write as much as you want in my AU.

Thanks for visiting my tumblr!! Sorry you felt intimidated by the discourse, that's not fun. Just know that you're not doing anything wrong, and whatever fandom content you engage with is perfectly fine and you shouldn't feel bad about enjoying it ^.^ Fandom is escapism and we're all here to have a good time.

Thank you for your rambles!! I enjoyed reading them!!

[the-sky-is-my-home]

idk if anyone is here for hq analysis text posts in 2023 nor do I know if something like this has been made before but. it wouldn't leave my head so here. my attempt at a cohesive analysis of the kageyama/hinata/atsumu/osamu dynamic (note: this isn't meant in a shippy way at all. any relationship as complex and narratively juicy as this is great shipping material I know but for this post I wanna keep things canon)

for the sake of something like brevity (lol), I won't delve into the kageyama/hinata partnership here. I assume you watched/read the series and I don't need to explain how they're both partners and rivals. it's the core relationship of the story, after all. also, the twins are twins, and aran spelled out their dynamic and relationship pretty nicely in their flashback, so...

let's start with kageyama and atsumu, the first ones who cross paths outside of their partnerships. as we know, they don't exactly get along great at youth camp. they don't fight, but atsumu makes himself seem like an ass immediately by calling kageyama's playstyle that of a goody-two-shoes. to the reader, this feels like an incredible insult because the way kageyama plays has been developed through some hard-earned character development spanning the entire series so far. we're meant to conclude he's wrong and will be proven so in a future game.

except this is not at all what the interaction is about, or what it will lead to. we don't actually understand the conflicting perspectives here until after the timeskip. what this is is a misunderstanding between two very similar people whose experiences differ in one key aspect. both of them are setters who are incredibly talented and extremely dedicated to volleyball. both are blunt, and not afraid to point out other people's shortcomings. both of them have essentially been friendless and outcast on their middle school teams because of this.

there is just one key difference: kageyama has been desperately looking for someone better ever since his grandpa promised he'd find them, while atsumu has spent his entire volleyball career with "someone better" right at his side. at this point, kageyama only knows failure and rejection in that regard. his sister quit volleyball. his grandpa died. oikawa and iwaizumi had their own thing going on and were never really in his reach. kindaichi couldn't keep up, and kunimi absolutely wasn't willing to.

he's got hinata now, but the harsh truth is that while he's kageyama's partner, he's not "someone better" at this point. this is because he kinda sucks at volleyball even if he's rapidly learning. and this one, simple difference changed everything. when kageyama is too arrogant and demanding, his team rejects him, and he's alone and unable to play. when atsumu does the same, he still has osamu who will sit with him and make an effort to pull him into the group. and he's always got proof that he's not asking too much, because of course osamu can hit all of atsumu's sets. when kageyama is too harsh on his hitters, nobody can really handle it and people get scared, so he tones himself down. when atsumu does the same, osamu yells at him and fights with him, until atsumu gets his point, and the rest of the team sees it as a fun twin squabble, endearing rather than scary.

but the thing is, neither of them know anything about the other, and atsumu speaks with the absolute confidence of someone who only knows volleyball like this. he's got "someone better" privilege and he just doesn't know that's a thing one can have. (he actually has this over others, too, including hinata before he had a team. having to run alone is a common thing among the volleyball obsessed.) but with his perspective, unexplained and badly phrased as it may be, kageyama manages to grow yet again, with hinata crowning him king of the court again as he realizes he can demand things from his hitters and they'll answer him (and to this day, atsumu is totally clueless he kickstarted it, and also that osamu taught him the same).

but as the years pass, even as they remain rivals, they do start understanding each other on a level no one else can (see atsumu explaining kageyama's thought process of "the points I score are mine, the points my hitters score are also mine" to hinata)

but while I do think these parallels are fairly well understood, people are sleeping on the osamu/hinata parallels. probably because they seem so much more different at first glance, with osamu looking calm and disinterested while hinata is, well, hinata. all bouncy and loud and sunshine-y. but they're as much the same as kageyama and atsumu. both were excited kids who like volleyball and, even seeing and understanding how cool setters are, just didn't vibe with it because spiking is just cooler.

except hinata was alone in his desire for so long it went nowhere for years, while osamu could always play as he wanted, with the best and most dedicated setter right there at his side. the way osamu plays is what hinata could've/would've been if he could've played for years and years. (I love this cover page it says like yeah look they're the same just with vastly differing levels of experience)

we know this, because hinata's playstyle actually turns out a lot like osamu's after the timeskip. but even with those differences, regardless of pre- or post-timeskip, again osamu seems to just instinctually get hinata in ways nobody else seems to. from his "he plays like he's eating good grub" to being absolutely unimpressed by hinata simply expecting the ball to be there - because isn't that just the natural state of things? doesn't everyone have a setter who will bring the ball without fail? why wouldn't you expect it? it's not unreasonable or too demanding, it's just how it is - that everyone else clocks as special.

when hinata gets intense, people tend to get scared, but osamu plain isn't, because he's the same in too many ways, and the familiar isn't scary.

and years later, when even atsumu is surprised by the timing of hinata jumping for the freak quick, osamu isn't. this is exactly where he'd jump for it. just like hinata knew osamu would jump for it at the last point of their game in high school (and like kageyama knew atsumu would answer the spiker, both times, because he would, too).

but their arcs end in complete opposites, unlike their setters, because their starting points were more different, too. to go with the food metaphor introduced by osamu, he's someone who always got to eat his fill, while hinata was starving for years and only gets hungrier the more crumbs he gets to eat.

when hinata does get his fill, finally, he can never give it up. but what's a feast to him is just a normal meal for osamu, and he needs other spices to be happy. and I can't really make this fit in the food metaphor but. hinata shines the brightest on the court, but osamu gets eclipsed by atsumu because he's just not hungry enough for it. so it's only fitting hinata pours his all into it while osamu quits and finds his place somewhere else. hinata finds fulfillment in challenge, in teammates and rivalry (with kageyama), while osamu finds his in support (of atsumu) as opposed to competition, and pursuit of something that's entirely his own.

and then there's the relationship between atsumu and hinata. the first match they have is defined by atsumu first writing hinata off as a scrub (to be fair, the first impression he leaves is jumping for a toss and plain forgetting to hit it. it's hard to come back from that), but throughout the game, atsumu comes to understand hinata, and by the end of it, declares he'll toss to him one day.

even at this point, it's pointed out he's good news for hinata in the sense that he won't need kageyama forever. there's someone else who could be his setter and make him shine just as brightly.

what the coaches can't know is that atsumu will be in sore need of a partner just a few years down the line, and that by that time, hinata will be perfect for the position. yes, atsumu can give him the freak quicks. yes, he's the kind of setter hinata can expect the ball from. but post-timeskip, hinata can toss the ball to atsumu just like osamu used to. he can do all the fun, reckless, perfectly coordinated plays that atsumu used to do with his twin.

they're the perfect partners for each other, united even in their desire to beat kageyama, who's both of their main rival at this point, the one who hinata wanted to beat since his first game, and the one who's in the way of atsumu getting the serve trophy and the sole spot of setter on the olympic team.

I know this is a very anti-climactic last dynamic but. unfortunately, kageyama and osamu never really interacted. but for the record, I think it's a shame, we were robbed, and they'd absolutely get along great.

idk if there's a conclusion to be had here tbh, but the post-timeskip arrangement really is ideal for them all, exactly what they wanted. hinata gets to shine and continually improve himself, he gets to stand on the court as a force to be reckoned with. kageyama has finally, finally found the "someone better" he was promised, and through him, continually gets to play the challenging game he was sorely missing in his early years. atsumu gets to play exactly the kind of volleyball he likes, too, with the kind of partner at his side that made volleyball so fun for him from the start. all three of them get to play again and again and again, always learning and growing, winning and losing, and never getting tired of any of it. osamu, while he's not playing, gets to do his own thing that he loves just as much, and he's certainly not losing his dumbass happiness contest with his brother.

so. yeah. I may have thought about all this a little too much. leave me alone. (no don't please talk to me about this actually)