#WOOPS. THIS TOOK A LIL WHILE.

[glacierbash]

💘 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

for miss mlemzorryn :3

WOW. HI. SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN SO LONG. MY MOTIVATION HAS JUST LIKE. EXPLODED. i forgor how to write. even for miss mlemzorryn :< 💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them? That's hard. She views a lot of people as being so remarkably important to her. If I had to pick just one? It'd be Shadowheart, honestly. She was there for Kharae from the very beginning, always had faith in Kharae, trusted her even when Kharae didn't trust herself, and after that Dark Urge revelation, Shadowheart insisted Kharae would overcome. Even if Kharae loves Minthara and will return to the underdark with her, Shadowheart is perhaps Kharae's most important person. There is no end to the lengths Kharae would go to help Shadowheart if she asked, no matter the situation.

Q:👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 FAMILY WITH MOTHER, FATHER, SON AND DAUGHTER — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family? A: That's less hard. She has absolutely no connection with any of her blood relatives--seeing as how they were all wiped out, she couldn't connect with them at all. As for found family... The Tadfools, absolutely. Granted, no Gale, Wyll, Karlach or Halsin, but she views Shadowheart like a sister and Astarion is one of her closest friends, and she admires and wants to do everything she can to help out Lae'zel. Jaheira is like a mentor to her, and even though she doesn't end up knowing Minsc all that well, Minsc is still a positive figure she enjoys (and if Jaheira is happy that Minsc is okay, then Kharae is happy) She cannot imagine life without them, and assuming she survives at the end of the story, she would use her magic to keep in contact with them while she returns to the Underdark with Minthara.

[thecomfortgoth]

I would like to request Steve Harrington x Reader. After what everyone went through in the Upside Down, the reader has panic attacks. Steve is there to help the reader when she has them.

Thank you so much for your request @lma1986 ❤️

Okay so, I really hope this is what you wanted! I kinda took your idea and ran with it a little WOOPS

Steve Harrington x Reader

⚠️ Please make sure you read the content warnings before reading as this work contains some heavy themes/topics ⚠️

CW: established relationship, takes place in 1987, anxiety, panic attack, talks of the Upside Down, talks of a major character death (y'all know who I mean😞), angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, Steve Harrington loving the bones off of you, breathing techniques, lil bit of kissing at the end hehe, all characters are 18+

WC: 1.6k

You couldn't quite put your finger on it.

You're not sure what led to this.

You'd been sitting quite happily, watching a movie, a soft fuzzy blanket over your lap, the comfortable couch underneath you, warm, cosy and content. When suddenly you felt it seep in. It started with your mind wandering, your palms becoming sweaty, your heart beginning to race. 

You froze. Even though you weren't moving anyway, you definitely felt your body stiffen up. Like you'd just been dunked in ice cold water. Or at least that's how your blood flowing through your veins felt. Your eyes were fixed on one spot, the TV where The Goonies still played out. You felt like you couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't focus. Your chest was moving faster and faster with each breath, your heart feeling like it was about to burst as your breathing picked up. 

No. Not now. Why the fuck was this happening now of all times? Literally nothing had happened. Nothing had triggered this. And then you remembered. You remembered why you sometimes got this way, the cause of these horrible anxious feelings and these.. you didn't want to even think the word nevermind say it. You felt tears prick at your eyes as you remembered the events of last year, feeling yourself hyperventilate more. You squeezed your eyes shut, the whole room sounding, looking and feeling like static. God you hated this. You really really fucking hated this. 

After the whole Upside Down incident of 1986, you'd never been the same. And neither had anyone else who was there. You'd all lost Eddie and that was heartbreaking enough. Not to mention everything else you all went through. When you got trapped in the Upside Down because you'd got a little off the beaten path while you'd been trying to find someone to help when you'd found your poor friend with Dustin, when the gang thought they almost lost you too. Luckily, he saved you. He got you out of there. But that didn't stop the nightmares and the panic attacks that came after. 

One of which you were currently in the throes of. It always felt like you were back there. Back in the midst of it all, back in the eye of the fucking storm. Your mind racing and telling you you had to get out of wherever you were. That you had to run. That you had to just-

"Honey?" you heard a gentle voice speak, sounding a little panicked itself, momentarily stopping your racing thoughts and breaking through clouds of your psyche. It was the only thing you heard through the loud ringing in your ears. It sounded far away, but close at the same time. "Honey, open your eyes for me, please" 

You did as the voice told you, even though your body told you not to and alarm bells went off in your mind, telling you to get out. That's when your eyes met a warm chestnut pair. Round and wide and full of concern. 

It was Steve. He was the one who had saved you, and still did every day. He was the one you fell in love with before any of this had even occured and were too scared to tell him in fear of ruining your friendship. But after everything that happened? You couldn't not tell him. Life was too short not to take the leap. You had been thrilled when you found out he felt the exact same. 

"Baby, listen to me okay?" You felt warm palms gently grab either side of your face, a thumb stroking over the apple of your cheek in a soothing manner, wiping away a few of the tears that creeped out. You didn't respond, you just kept looking back at the man in front of you. The man that you loved. Your Steve.

"Breathe with me, honey. Deep breaths. In and out, just like this, 'kay? Follow my lead and do what I'm doing" he said softly, keeping his tone calm and his voice gentle. He didn't want to startle you, especially not right now, he was very wary of how he spoke to you when this happened. You watched as his shoulders slowly rose up, filling his lungs with air before he opened his mouth in a tight O and blew the air out steadily between his lips. He did that a few times and nodded at you, signalling for you to copy him. 

You did your best, breathing in through your nose, albeit not as deep as he could, but you filled your lungs as much as the crushing feeling still in your chest allowed. Before slowly but shakily exhaling through your mouth while he smiled at you softly and continued.

"That's it, angel. Keep going. Just focus on me and keep breathing like this. You're doing so well, so so well" he said to you, nodding his head slowly as he took another breath in and you copied him.

With each breath in..  and then out..  you felt the bad feelings and the bad thoughts slowly dissipate. You felt the weight pressing down on your chest lift off and soon vanish. You looked back into the eyes of your saviour, your boyfriend, your honest-to-god true love, and soon enough you felt a little better. 

Steve knew what it was like. He'd been there. He was still there. There were times you had to do the exact same thing for him. And you never questioned it, not once, you just.. did it. Because you loved him. And he loved you too. There was never even a singular thought of "why would I do that?" between you both when it came to helping each other out like this. You both never hesitated, especially since you both more than understood exactly why this had been happening. 

You felt your shoulders drop a little and you blinked slowly, reaching up and resting your hands over his gently. Warm soft palms to rough knuckles. Slowly sliding them down until you were holding his wrists carefully. He smiled a little wider at you, most of the concern leaving his face as he studied your own and your body language, figuring that you were over the worst of it now. 

"You okay honey?" He said, a hand reaching to stroke at your hair. It was only then that you noticed he was kneeling on the floor in front of you, in his Hawkins gym shorts and a fuzzy blue sweater. He had been previously nestled next to you before this happened. He must have felt your breathing change and immediately got in front of you to help you. 

"Yeah.. m'okay Stevie.. sorry I.. I don't know w-" you began but you were soon shushed softly. 

"Hey, what did I tell you about apologising for that? You never have to apologise to me, baby. Never. Especially not for this. You'd do the same for me right? You do the same for me" he smiled at you warmly, leaning forward and placing a gentle peck on your forehead. You smiled a little as you felt his lips press to your skin, all plush and soft. He didn't move away though, he just slotted his nose next to yours and stared into your eyes. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You're human. And what we went through.. it was tough. But you don't have to go through it alone. I'll always be here, every step of the way" his voice was low, his tone sincere. It made you kind of get a little dizzy, thinking of how in love you were with this handsome tall man of your dreams, how you really wished that always would be your reality. 

"I know, Stevie. I'll always be here too. Thank you babe, I feel much better now." You whispered back to him, smiling and nodding your head as he watched your face, confirming to him that you were definitely okay. You had calmed down and were feeling more yourself again, thanks to him. It was a wonder the magic that he possessed, in the way he could make you feel less like your world wasn't crumbling in just a few breaths and a few seconds. 

"Good. Now can I get a kiss from my girl?" He grinned cheekily, wiggling his eyebrows. It made you roll your eyes and giggle at him. He thought he was so smooth. Okay, maybe he was but.. you wouldn't tell him that. His head was already big enough as it is, thanks to the Farrah Fawcett spray. 

"Hmm I don't know.. it'll cost you" you smiled, leaning in and pressing your lips to his gently, giving him a long peck. 

"Oh yeah? Well how about I just use my.. boyfriend discount?" he smirked, lunging forward and wrapping his arms around you as he climbed back onto the couch, practically laying on top of you as he made you fall to the side and onto your back. You sprawled out along the length of the couch as you wrapped your arms around his neck and allowed it, letting him pepper kisses all over your face, before he finally met your lips. He tasted like cinnamon and sugar. Warm and sweet. Just like him. 

There was nothing sweeter than Steve's kisses and having his arms around you. Nothing could make you feel bad when you had him nuzzling his way into the crook of your neck, laying his weight on top of you and playing with the ends of your hair, sighing through his nose into your skin as he breathed your scent in and out, which he could never get enough of. 

He could never get enough of you, not in a million years. You were his safe space. And he was yours. You smiled, humming contentedly as you closed your eyes, running your fingers through his soft brown locks, listening to the little huff of happiness come from him and feeling his smile against your skin.

"I think that boyfriend discount definitely works" 

[crystalflygeo]

Long overdue final ebg post (lmao) bc I need to get this out of my system...

Tag for all the posts/storyline

Art by the amazing lovely precious cutie Aine @/ainescribe

First of all I want to thank @i23kazu immensely for allowing me to participate pls I was SO unsure at first haha and she absolutely killed it with the interactions, the lil side project, the prompts, the scores tally... it's just so much work, kudos to you Ying fr!! It was a super fun game.

Shoutout to my besties/mutuals

@silentmoths @ainescribe thank you for your lil asks I love seeing your characters aaaaaaaa 💕

@floraldresvi @moraxsthrone and all the anons I got, your sabotages here and in discord were brutal omg Vi you almost made my cry //pos bc I wanted to react/respond to Li's messages 🥺 EVERY SINGLE TIME ghgnhgnghgn and NOT KEL MAKING MY GIRL HAVE A WET DREAM/SPICY MEMORY TYVM 💕 the way I had to contain myself hELP I loved it svcgavscgvsjgacbkackl

@meimeimeirin you also sabotaged me a lot, meanie //pos I loved SO MUCH your asks/little stories aaaaaa thank you for engaging so much when I know you're super busy 🥺 it def made my day everytime, ty for bringing the girl home and solving my silly lil mystery hehe 💕

@kurikurikurisu GIIIIIRL it's so funny to me that we kinda started interacting more on the last ebg for Rin and then I was like "she's a cool person I wanna fren.... 👉🏻👈🏻 but I shy...." took my sweet time to invite you to the server and turns out THIS ebg got us closer (I think? ehe?//hit) we didn't interact much in tumblr with each other's plots but bOY were we emotional support in discord, we really were in this suffering together 🤝🏻 mhm //nods nods 🤣 thank you so much for being interested in my lil silly plot and my girl aaaaaa

As for the "plot" and other things... (this got so long I am so sorryy;;;)

Well at first I wanted to do kinda a normal ebg, no plot or anything bc I don't think I have the smarts to do an elaborate game/story lmao and I kinda wanted to have more established s/i lore?? And then I realized hey I can use the ebg to introduce my s/i!!!

See I'd been working SO hard on her names lately, researching and studying in-game adepti lore and stuff and I though why don't I make it a simple game where the goal is to guess her name (with me giving hints ofc) and at the very start I had the idea of her losing her memories so she could re-discover/remember things about herself alongside the "players" learning them. Whoever character I got as my bias would help her and get to know her too along the way, even npcs (or in the rare case of me getting Dottore/Pantalone, probs be the villain for her memory loss lmao)

And then I got Kazuha. And it was so SO perfect. I took inspiration from Spirited Away with the plot point of having your name/memories/identity stolen and for some reason I remembered the whole Ino-shika-cho koi-koi card combo from Summer Wars I just had this vivid mental image of a scene where Kazuha dropped the biggest hint by writing the Kanji for Butterfly (Chō) which doubles ofc as the Hanzi for Butterfly/Crystalfly (Dié) written the same pronounced (and romanized) differently :3c

I was very proud of myself//hit also

I did not end up making haiku bc they are complicated but I at least tried to loosely keep/emulate the 3 phrases, phonetic rhyme and sensory elements while referencing my lil plot lmao

✧˖Originally I was gonna blame it on a playful tanuki or smth but I don't think they're powerful enough youkai lmao it was probably a kitsune.... we may never know ✧˖She was technically never in any danger yeah but imagine being lost with no memories and no way to know if you could get them back even because every person she met kept telling her they didn't know ofc she'd break down, or at least me, I'm very crybaby and neurotic sometimes//HIT ✧˖Yes this entire thing was technically Zhongli's fault since he did write her a letter addressed 亲爱的晶蝶 ("My dear Crystalfly/Jingdie") and that IS her name woops on a random note I kinda imagine he also signs with something like ���的龙 "Your Dragon" and vice versa with Crys ("My dear Dragon/your Crystalfly") sgcvgajsvcjhacbajkca //squeals kicks feets

And all this started because I was stressing over the fact that "Crys" is not an appropriate name for a Liyue character lmao, I debated for so long giving her a chinese name, but I didn't want to further make her an OC I wanted her to represent me/my blog (also part of me was and still is immensely worried I somehow insult cn ppl by being as some sort of weeabo equivalent or that I am "appropriating culture" or idk I may be dumb but I try to do my research and I prommy it does not come from a place of malice or anything I genuinely love genshin and Li and it's got me interested in a culture/country I funnily enough have somehow interacted with and have friends in but never really paid that much attention to ig...) and then I just had the epiphany What if I just reverse engineer and name her Crystalfly in cn? Lore would be that either her name got accidentally translated in documents a long long time ago and ppl started calling ehr Crystalfly/Crys and she rolled with it or she simply adopted the translation/nickname as her name for international settings, keeping her true name more private (hidden in plain sight tbh) p sure the only ones who know are the elder adepti (Ganyu/Xiao included) and Neuvillette (once he told her his real/first name) (ironically Crys may be harder to pronounce i other languages lmaoooo rip Fontaine)

Anyway this got way too long lmao sorrryyyyyyyy thank you everyone kith kith love y'all bye!! 💕

[lowkeyclueless5137]

I swear. This AU just keeps getting better and better. Keep up the good work. Now I think it’s time to add a question here myself, well three. First of all, how do the other NRC students(or pretty much the rest of the Twst cast like Cater somehow getting pics of these alien heroes, heck maybe even the four’s counterparts that didn’t get the watch) feel about these mysterious aliens/creatures(really the four Omnitrix users really saving the day or close) saving the day or at least somehow seen around campus I guess? What about when these four aka Riddle, Kalim, Epel, and Idia eventually meet Azmuth(the little genius that made their watches) and what they think of him(plus what he’ll think of them). Also I wonder how these four feel if there all somehow met each other in some kind of grand Omniverse event(I like to imagine their Omni verse is separated from the main omniverse, unless you want throw all the Ben 10s into this 😶💧) or maybe something more causal like some kind of fancy Omniverse meet up maybe?

<3

Woop! 3 questions under the cut coming right up! :D

Well in all 4 cases, at first the students were absolutely confused, bc while they had their share of wierd magic creatures, these ones were different. It took them like a few weeks to figure out that 'oh, it's just one person turning into all these different aliens' before it settles in the actual sentence meaning. :'3

now for individuals... well:

Riddle

Riddle was very happy at first when people didn't figure out it was only 1 person and had all these oudlandish theories about a superhero team. But of course, entering Cater, your local Magicam enthusiast and crazy conspiracy theorist. Cater is the one who brings on the table the posibility that it could be a shapeshifter, way before Riddle himself was aware that he could actually shift in between alien species. Trey was more on 'helping out' Cater with this investigation(he actually just makes sure Cater doesn't go headfirst into danger).

Despite all the efforts, Adeuce find out first, by simply walking on Riddle when his timer runs out. That's it... That's literally it and Riddle hates it with a burning passion. They become more or so a thorn in the side of EVERYONE who tries to look into it. Like these guys don't even try, the chaos they stirr up is enough to forfeit any possible evidence. Later on Jack finds out bc he is actually the sane one and looks into Adeuce's wierd shenaningans.(actually these 2 wrecked his cactus by accident and he wanted to prevent a repeat) :'3

As for the meeting with Azmuth, the very first thing Riddle does is to beg to get the damn watch off, like please he's tired of this bullshit. :'3

But the catch is that Azmuth's aim all along was to hide the omnitrix all along. And Riddle was doing the job for him. Even though he's still a child, Riddle was doing exactly what was intended to do, with the few exceptions where he used it to actually save people. Even better, Azmuth never encountered magic properly, as such the reactions of the omnitrix to the magic, mainly blocking any gender or mentally changes along with the half transformations. So Riddle would be the perfect lil experiment dummy to see all reactions. He was still obedient, rarely breaking out of the rules set in front of him, so Azmuth knew that he would listen if he wanted the omnitrix off him in the end.

This marks an important point for Riddle, who realises that all along, his goal wasn't to just get rid of the omnitrix, but actually to use it to save people. He could've just pushed his limits with magic, but he found ways to use the omnitrix to just help the ones in need. And now with Azmuth just saying that it was not meant for that, Riddle found it unjust.

So he gives a promise to Azmuth that he would prove why the other aliens saw the omnitrix as a weapon, why this so called weapon could be used for peace too, not just as some research material.

Adeuce with Jack also are there, but they are mostly there to support Riddle once he has that epiphany, but also to kick some evil guys asses.

This is also some good chunk of time after book 6, so Riddle would have white hair streaks, which are a constant reminder that he still needs to know when he shouldn't push his limits. And this is also why Azmuth is skeptical of the promise.

Kalim

Now Kalim usually has Jamil covering up his traces, mostly by spreading rumors that make the theories about the aliens to go further and further from the truth.

But with book 4, the octatrio find out. And with Kalim demanding to have a say in everything regarding him and his integrity as a person, Jamil has to step out from reducing the 3 to silence. Thankfully these 3 mfs still need to wrap their heads around the whole situation and believe it or not, they keep the secret. Of course, for possible blackmail opportunities.

When meeting Azmuth, Kalim clearly was tired of people just telling him what to do as if he's going to just do what they want. So he's very opposed to handing the omnitrix and bring up how he just tries to do good. And maybe if Azmuth thought outside of the box, it could be possible to see that the omnitrix is meant to be used to bring peace by saving people, by using it as a way to show that for peace to exist, everyone has to work together, no matter the species or planet you come from. It was that simple and Kalim was keeping to that idea of his.

So Azmuth's initial goal aligned with Kalim's current one. Therefore Kalim insists that if they work together, they can prove that goal to be achievable. How can one actually refuse this sunshine tho? You bet Kalim's getting to keep the watch.(Jamil initially insisted to get that thing off, but I guess Kalim learned to stand for what he thinks is right... So git gut, snake Boi) :'3

Epel

Vil and Rook manage Epel's secret. And it's like professionally done, since Vil works in the acting industry, has a reliable reputation and his word holds a lot for others, while Rook is the one who literally knows anything and everything on campus. If he denies, it means it's false. Like Epel here has some solid coverage. :'3

No one absolutely fins out. They all are just theorising and Epel just gets to watch them and internally laugh at how stupid their theories are compared to the truth.

With Azmuth, Epel is clearly very skeptical at first. Sure, he is a bit rash, but he wants to save people. At the base, he's still a good guy and tries his best. Vil is actually the one who tells Epel to stand up for himself and for his agency as someone who wants to save the innocents. (Rook almost hunted Azmuth for sports, but Shhh...)

So Epel does realise again that Vil just wants his good and that probably he should be that petty with the model. Vil worked hard to ensure Epel's safety after all. Even if he wasn't using the omnitrix. It's more of a pomfamily moment here and we appreciate platonic fluff in this household. U-Ub

Idia

This guy runs on sheer pettiness and a bag of chips. He can bearly lift a twig and cannot even sit in a room with a person for 5 minutes before his soul leaves his body. Who in their right mind would ever assume it was him behind the aliens that save people? And for once, Idia was thankful that everyone thought he was a pathetic wet cat. Yeah, yeah, sure... Go and let him be pathetic in his room alone, buddy... :'3

Even so, in book 6, Idia does reveal it to the SSR problematic children, mainly because his timer runs out. It was in the heat of the battle and ofc, overBlot Ortho tries to protect him, thus getting hit by the lightning spears and dropping dead in tartarus. It's quite angsty. :3

So the Aftermath of book 6 is an absolute mess. With Idia trying to cope with the situation while also being held accountable with an explanation about how in the world he is this alien shifting superhero. It does take some time for Idia to clean up his own mess after all.

Thankfully, his meeting with Azmuth is very civil. Idia was a curious mind and as such, meeting the creator of the omnitrix, a device Idia still had long ways to go to understand it, was akin to meeting a celebrity. He wanted to just know how this thing works and how was possible to even craft such revolutionary device.

Azmuth does have a good impression on Idia. This guy's childhood dream was to save and protect people. And even if he failed in grand style 2 times, he still is pushing forward and tries to even understand how the device that grants him this shifting power even works. As such, Idia is easily holding up his argument about the omnitrix being used to just save people. But looking at his failures, Idia was contemplating on giving it to Azmuth to find a more suitable person.

That's also when Azmuth deems Idia as the said suitable person. He still has ways to go, but he has that determination and he is a mind that contemplates on what would be the optimal solution to a problem. He was far from perfect, but finding a replacement would be long and tiresome, especially when other bad guys are currently on the hunt for the omnitrix. As such, Idia gets to keep it. :3

Now for the multiverse plot... I would say that the best and go-to option would be ✨bad guys shenanigans✨. Just some mad scientist shit where they try to take the omnitrix from another dimension. This brings the 4 together and boy is it a mess. :'3

Riddle is just the one who is skeptical of the whole thing. He doesn't open up that easily, because these 4 are counterparts of people he used to hide from in his dimension, so of course, he warms up the hardest.

Kalim is absolutely thrilled about it. Man would want to exchange any and all tips and would be absolutely down for friendship activities. He's just happy he finally gets to meet someone in a similar situation with him.

Epel is also a hyped boy, him and Kalim becoming besties in seconds. Epel also thinks that this Idia was way cooler than his dimension's Idia, even if they are both pathetic wet cats when not in dire situations. Riddle and Epel do have a bumpy start, but they do get along, mostly as raw power fighters.

And Idia is absolutely freaking out at first. But he does warm up to Riddle over their shared skepticism at first. Compared to his Kalim, the Kalim from another dimension was actively working on improving and being more considerate for others, so Idia appreciates this one more. Epel is just a chaos gremlin that Idia occasionally feels like a babysitter to. Just imagine Epel fully as Wildmutt with Idia in half 4 arms, holding him by the nape. That's their dynamic. :'3

I think I covered everything now! Yay! :D

[mamawasatesttube]

I've read the doc explaining your song choices for kon playlist and. First and foremost MAD RESPECT this is dedication cause I would be distracted after song 10 at best while writing something like that. Second of all your taste in music? chefs kiss. And third - I might've written this already but I thought of sotm kon while listening to would've could've should've by taylor swift and cried a lil in the middle of a store. (give him back his boyhood??? it was his first??? oof)

YEAH i think you mentioned that in the comments on... i don't know what chapter HAHA but i remember!!! and thank youuuu fshgkftjs it took me about 4 hours i just hyperfocused so hard and then bam it's done and it's 40 pages. woops

[muggycuphead]

weird flex but ok i guess pt.12

11

War… Hold up, do we really need a warning for this one? Dunno, but however, watch out for slightly disturbing and kinda…disgusting imagery, trypophobic patterns, as well as ‘necrotic’ designs I made while having funky fever bc o h m y g o d do I get a little crazier every new quarantine day (and at this point it’s coming to be an usual thing for me, big sad). However, most are made no other than for the sole sake of satire, so y’know, no need to get your underwear in a twist

Friday Night Funkin’ BoyFriend’s Hood – Old comic thingy project pages

Ah yes, this old fellow

So this was supposed to be a comic version of BF’sH, subdivided in ARCs (initially 2, now being 3), this one specifically revolving around the first one, which I called ‘Past Present’ –haha funny wordplay go brr- which explained BF’s background story, how he moved to NewGrounds City (which was basically supposed to be like the animation world’s New York City and stuff, it’s been quite a long time since I made these pages so don’t expect me to give all the details with that much accuracy, thank u) and all that. Sadly, it didn’t go farther from 16 pages comic-wise and three GF-BF interaction events script-wise –character development pls-, but it doesn’t hurt posting these

…the pages, not the script, that might come off…later, somehow

Some pages were recently edited though, mostly for accuracy reasons…and because one of the dialogue lines were just…wut incarnate

Anyway, here’s the junk:

Page 1

Bro look at that landscape

Look at the sun

He lookin like he wanna smash the earth out of spite

Also, not gonna lie, that truck right there lookin good for my standards back then

And you might notice I was quite into experiencing with scenarios and stuff when I was making this, and tell you what, it was quite fun

Still though, that excited Lil B right there gives me life

Like- look at him

He’s a certified cinnamon roll in the making

…well, not really, but we’ll talk about that later

Still, he was the character version I enjoyed to draw most in there –and still do in sketchdumps BTW (GF was alright to draw but her hair was just- sdfghj ugh, but I’m getting a little out of hand with myself here so Imma cut the roll already woop-)

Page 2

Oml here comes the feeling of regret hhhh-

Like, the reason why I wrote Miss G as a ‘whimp’ here –physically speaking- was over the fact she’s a defective demon (you know, like in that superhero movie where one of the character was powerless due to their parents being both superheros and all that, although on this case it might have just been broken genetics, chromo mutation, etc. -you get the point aight?) but like my goodness, I just feel bad for putting her in such a ridiculous scenario like this

…but guess it’s not that bad considering they’re ‘average’ demon kids and they don’t know any better sooo…eh, let it be

And yeah, the fluffly shadowy kid there was slightly inspired on one of Adam Phillips’ characters (Bitey(?) of Brackenwood, that fawn-satyr guy that was basically an asshole, mostly knew about him during my research about Adam Phillips while I was writing the 2nd version of VB), just to keep in the NG theme

He’s not actually Bitey tho; more of a fan possibly, I dunno

Won’t tell what he called, though his name –alongside the other demon kid’s- is revealed further on, don’t worry

They’re both asses tho

Page 3

Hell ye got ur just dessert served right at your step boy, now gtfo and leave my demon homegirl alone thank u

And OH BOY they finally met, let’s see how it gets down for these two

BF’s been quite quiet during the first pages by the way, that’ll change on the next pages tho don’t worry

Also, remember when I took back my ‘BF is a cinnamon roll in the making’ statement from before?

Yeah, here’s the reason why

He a little rascal

Also also, this isn’t brought up anywhere in the story (I dunno about the script, didn’t do a full checkup lately whoops) but those water balloons  were meant for something he and Broddy planned together secretly –can’t remember what it was exactly, but If anything, it was for the sake of the funny haha-

As for the slingshot, that’s just one of his favorite toys

And yeah he did break some windows back at the hood while playing with it

Page 4

Aaaa- This page is a personal favorite, not gonna lie

Like, the tender moment is real in this one, folks

And yes I did forget drawing background in the first panel, but I guess it was for the sake of focusing the viewer attention’s on the characters and midground rather than the aforesaid, y’know

Sorry for the confusing dialogue boxes in panel 2, I was basically going with my own comic writing rules back then (I was even doing the script while illustrating it, though I did write the lines aside before putting them in the panels for the sake of good placing…not for this one page however, but my memory’s kinda fuzzy about it sooo…guess it’s a meh on this case)

Not really into the ‘BF’s beeps are actually a language’ sort of thing anymore though (yes that last line means something, it’s in the next page), but I’ll let it fly for now as it’s not too eeh on this context (besides, he’s a kid here, so it’s double whatever from me)

Page 5

Real talk, GF in the first panel is basically everyone’s first reaction over BF just beeping while singing

Good thing I gave him self-consciousness about it in here, woo

Again, sorry for the floppy comic illustration –panel 1 to 4’s order specifically, was just trying to make a ‘crossed’ like panel organization, but guess it isn’t that functional when it comes to reading it –at least for someone that isn’t me, of course-

Also, fun fact about the name thing: Even though GirlFriend and BoyFriend are canonically called like that –which remains the same in BF’sH’s storyline, in my AT/AU’s case, they were given those names by mistake: Two illiterate nurse men in BF’s case (just downright dumbasses) and a half deaf demon-nurse woman in GF’s case (she had an starbuck’s employee level of name comprehension, nice)

Why didn’t their parents change their names afterwards then? Well, because 1) finding register offices in BF’s Hood is like looking for a pin in a straw-loft +where the cash at bro, and 2) The Dearests didn’t really care about it, and just…went with the flow I guess

I’ll keep the real names that were planned for them a secret for now(??, but just as a funny hint, they do share the same acronym letters from their actual names (BF, GF)

Page 6

Sissy truly got those maternal instincts flip-flopping on her

Can’t blame her though, Lil B used to be quite a piece of work to deal with back then (not like he wasn’t any better back in the hood, but you get what I’m saying alright), plus it’s New Grounds City during his bronze yeas (I think), shit’s was wild back then (I think x2) so yeah, careful around there, young man

…And here we go with the bapish thing again (yes I even gave it a name, don’t ask why I even bothered to-)

However, during those days when I wrote BF’s beepy lines, I did try to make them sound like the words he was actually saying in English so they would make some sort of “sense” and not sound like it was mere gibberish

Broddy do be looking kinda handsome there with the casual clothing and shit tho

Page 7

Ayooo we got into the edited pages now, let’s get it boysss-

I agree with GF, just shut yo bitch ass up, Stephano

Fun fact by the way, this was the first time I drew McBleep –essentially his debut- and not gonna lie, that accent I put on his dialogue is kind of funny,

Also, Stephano is GF’s half-brother/stepbrother in BF’sH, being from an ex-marriage of Daddy Dearest, and as you could tell, he clearly isn’t very loving towards GF…nor her mother even, he sometimes even blames her for being the reason Daddy D divorced his mother, though he did outgrow from that idea on the long run…the hate does remain just as fresh as the first day though, nothing can be done about that so…F in the chat for GF on that one

Also also, remember what I said about me originally using MizanPloz‘s concept for BF’s mom for BF’sH AND the wut incarnate dialogue line I mentioned all the way up in this post? Well, here’s the original panels that showcase that stuff, scanned just for the sake of having an archive of them (even if I was no longer okay with using BF mom’s design on my stuff, I wasn’t just gonna straight up erase the work, like c’mon; as for Daddy Dearest’s line...dunno, guess I didn’t want to just write it down here, but eh). And if you can make the maths down straight, I don’t think I’d need to explain why those drastic changes were made

And yes, I did accidentally tell the eyeglow on BF mom’s original design to go die (heck I didn’t even know she actually had those to begin with), guess it was mostly cuz I wanted her to look human and shit; you can bonk me over it I honestly don’t mind

Page 8

Another edited page woo

The second panel looked like this originally, heck I didn’t even get the icon right I’m internally laughing and crying what-

And yeah I’ll admit, this page is a little weird –the setting is kinda huh??? but whateva

Still, it was fun to mess around with the dialogue like that and try to mash it up in a ping-pong type of dynamic + the third panel is kinda funny to me for some reason now, maybe because of the perspective giving the impression of BF and GF looking at each other through their rooms and stuff, but that might be just me

Page 9

The angy sun is back, and he’s out for blood…I guess

Also, BF looks weird on the fourth panel strip what the heck-

By the way, moar cameooos broooo

Page 10

BF got quite the work enthusiasm there, folks

God bless that child heart of his, go catch the bag honey you got thissss

Also yeah I forgot to add shit to the last two panels, but in my defense, creativity machine broke on that behalf, if anyone wanna do a funny comment over it then be my guest I don’t mind

Page 11

…

Inhale

Exhale

Now I remember one of the other reasons I cut it with this comic

NG characters used as cameos got me off the wagon

Like, I thought it was a cool idea when I was doing the pages –since again, it’s for the sake of keeping it NG-related- but now…

…man

The mixed feelings are real by looking at this one

I do gotta give my past art some credit though, it doesn’t look too bad, and it came with a good intention so it gets a pass…a little, but it does

That biker character is from a drawing made by Sanoan on NewGrounds, here’s a link to it

And like I said on one of my earlier posts, no we don’t stand child exploitation on this house, y’all

If anything, BF just did little tasks here and there on the workshop, and when he went to do the big boy tasks, he was always under supervision, either his siblings’ or his dad’s –Broddy’s one in this case with the drill

Also, we got the name reveals!

Assel –the demon kid- and Brick –the satyr kid Bitey-lookin ass-

Though Brick’s only appearances remain on page 2 and 3 –poor guy, he’s just a bg character :(-  Assel does have some plot-wise interaction in the long run, but that’s chatter for later, aight-

Page 12

newgrounds memes go bzzzz

Again, me and my NG cameoing trash, and we even got dialogue-wise interaction with it, Jesus Christ

I did try to keep it as neutral as possible, cuz –again- I barely knew about the character I put in there –besides the fact they were a demon- and I was just doing shit on the spot

…So yeah, more complicated feelings woo-

Still, here’s that demon darling’s original version, she was made by Cavitees on –also- Newgrounds, link to the drawing I took reference from

Also, another funny skit about balls breaking windows

But this time, we have a twist: SCHOOL PROPERTY WINDOWSsss

…though it’s a demon school so I doubt they’d care

Or maybe they would? I dunno, each to their own I guess

P.S. Sissy be looking thick right there tho

Page 13

GF pulled a Lionel Messi on those folks, lol

Too bad BF couldn’t do the Jordan throw tho, can we hit 10 reblogs for this poor fellow

Still though…

“Baskie”

Pft-

I dunno why but it sounds funny now that I think of it

Page 14

That demon chauffeur looks crinkly as hell, man

He looks like he could have been the dancing demons’ dad or something (or maybe he is, but I dunno)

Also, gotta love that dedication on McBleep, man

And yeah, BF does get his side of the money made during the day

Might not be a fat stack of cash, but hey, at least he won it with his effort

Also, another Lil Miss BG moment, just to please the canon wowowo-

Page 15

Vroom vroom nyoom

Also- oh damn I forgot to erase that…water thing whatever its name is out of the street

Like, initially my idea was to have the workshop next to the school so BF and GF could chat together nice and comfily, but THEN I ALSO remembered about that little funny event I implicitly mentioned a few posts ago

…the fire incident

But now that I make the maths it could be whatever either way, since y’know, again, it’s a demon school; it’d possibly go off as like a water leak or something, but it wouldn’t do much to it so yeah

Still, what the heckle

Page 16

For a demon child, Stephano really got some salt towards BF

And yes that Bruce guy is another halfsibling/stepsibling in GF’s family

Yes the name was added last minute because I was clueless at the time I wrote this page

Yes I took some inspiration from Beach Brother for him in the time I wrote this page, though he has his differences besides not being 100% biologically related to GF

No I don’t have an exact concept for his design

And no he doesn’t have bad blood towards GF, neither past or present (heck, he even accepts his mother was the actual bitch in the situation by leaving them with their dad and go wander off to heck-knows-where –which is, in fact, what actually happened)

So yeah, that’s pretty much it on that behalf

[T.B.C.]

[fuwahiko]

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT IM SORRY, I'LL HOLD OFF ON THE ANGST......and give this. KuzuKomaHina again, but everyone's swapped heights and no one knows how to reverse it. Komaeda got Hinata's height (he's grateful his luck kicked in for this), but the real kicker is Hinata and Fuyuhiko. Because Hinata got Fuyuhiko's height and Fuyuhiko got Komaeda's height. Fuyuhiko went from the shortest in their triad to the talest overnight, and Hinata is trying his best to avoid his two boyfriends because the other two will tease and fluster him into an early grave now that he's the shortest. Hinata's tsundere ass CANNOT handle compliments, this is his worst nightmare come to life. But Fuyuhiko and Komaeda will enjoy every minute of it

TINY HAJIME RIGHTS (it’s okay Hajime, you’re still taller than me lol)

Nagito doesn’t realise what happened at first, he doesn’t notice anything is different from usual until he hears Fuyuhiko yell from his cottage and sees him come running out, now slightly taller than he is. at first they both think that Fuyuhiko has just gotten taller somehow, but when they go to knock on Hajime’s door and hear him answer in a panicked voice that he wants to be left alone, Nagito spends a moment thinking to himself before going to grab a tape measure. he realises he’s just a little shorter than usual and all the pieces of the puzzle slide into place.

Nagito and Fuyuhiko exchange a look. oh, they have to see this.

they try to tempt Hajime out all day, but nothing seems to be working. it’s the evening by now and they’ve gotten impatient, so they come up with a plan. Fuyuhiko knocks on the door one more time and tells Hajime that they’ll leave him be for now if he really doesn’t want to come out, but then he and Nagito hide just around the corner on either side of the cottage and play the waiting game. he’s gotta come out for food or something eventually right?

and sure enough, a little while later Hajime leaves his cottage, cautiously looking left and right before he steps out of his door. not seeing anyone, he begins walking, only to immediately be grabbed by someone from behind.

“ugh, Nagito!! let go of me!” Hajime yells as he tries to break free. then he looks up to see... Nagito walking out from just in front of him?? then wait... who’s?? he turns his head to look up above him and- “holy shit what the hell?” Fuyuhiko lets him go, figuring he probably won’t run off.

“aw, look at that! you’re adorable!” Fuyuhiko teases.

“y-you’re!! you’re tall?! what the hell is- wait wait wait- Nagito? you’re not-?”

“actually, I appear to have gotten a little shorter, though I don’t think it’s all that noticeable. lucky me, I guess!” Nagito walks over to Hajime and takes the opportunity to pinch his cheeks while he’s still overwhelmed.

Hajime goes bright red and frowns, pushing Nagito away. “hey! stop that!”

“aww, Hajime... don’t be like that. at least let me have some fun!” Hajime tries to defend himself, but is unable to stop Nagito from scooping him up and holding him in his arms princess-style. “nooooooo!!” Hajime hides his face in his hands.

“haha! you’re so light, Hajime!”

Hajime and Nagito had both gotten the urge to pick up Fuyuhiko before, but there’s no way they’d live to tell the story, so neither of them dared. Hajime, however, isn’t nearly so threatening, even if he is grumpy at times.

Nagito gets carried away, twirling around with him and laughing a little obnoxiously as Fuyuhiko watches on and snickers at the sight.

when Nagito finally puts Hajime down he’s relieved for a moment, that is until Fuyuhiko starts ruffling his hair and laughing at him.

“oh, give me a break!” Hajime quickly accepts his fate though, waiting grumpily for Fuyuhiko to finish.

“y’know, you’re actually really cute like this.” Fuyuhiko flicks Hajime’s ahoge before backing off. “and I’m certainly not complaining about being tall now. although it is difficult to get used to, if I’m being honest.”

Hajime sits down on the ground, hugging his knees up to his face. “yeah well I don’t like it! you guys keep teasing me! and how the hell did this happen, anyway?”

Nagito lifts his hand to his chin in thought. “hmm... a bit of bad luck, perhaps?”

“luck? how the hell does luck have anything to do with- and anyway you’re one to talk, you’re basically the same as usual anyway! and Fuyuhiko’s just fine!”

“well, maybe it’s just bad luck for you then, Hajime” Nagito giggles nervously.

Fuyuhiko kneels down to Hajime’s level. “I guess we should go ask Mikan if she has any idea what’s wrong with us... but surely this can’t be a medical thing, right?”

Hajime sighs. “well, if anyone’s gonna have a clue what’s going on it’s probably her. unless this is some kind of weird magic or something...? maybe we should ask Gundham and Sonia about it too...”

reluctantly, Hajime goes with his boyfriends to ask around and see if anyone has any idea what’s going on, but it remains a mystery. a few days pass by like this, with Nagito and Fuyuhiko teasing Hajime while also being very affectionate with him, and Hajime’s starting to think that he’ll never return to normal. but then, just like that, a few days later they wake up and find that they’ve all turned back to their regular size somehow. nobody ever figures out how or why this had happened, but Nagito and Fuyuhiko still occasionally poke fun at Hajime about it for years to come.

[twistyprefect]

This

No, it's ok, take your time with our reqs, don't forget to eat, rest, & stay hydrated! I want to req but still you don't have to push youself <3

The characters are Ace, Leona, Vil, & Sebek (sorry if it's too much, Leona & Vil are enough if you want less characters), they made their s/o cries because of their words/attitude, but s/o pulls them by the collar, cries, & says, "Listen here, YOU LIL' SHIT!" & S/o tells them the reason why s/o cries, the boys' faults, & s/o give them a threat (If they don't want to apologize, s/o will not give them affections until they apologize).

I hope it's not too much, thank you! You're amazing!

{hi again anon!! i'm so sorry this took a bit to get done 😭 especially since i like this request er.gjleh

also, i hope the stuff i picked MC being upset about is ok! i tried to vary it a bit ^^}

Ace Trappola

Ace doesn't like seeing anyone cry, especially not his partner in crime

he hadn't mean to step over the line and say something actually mean to them, but now they were crying because of him

he was going to apologize, but before he could, his partner grabbed a fist full of his shirt and pulled him closer to them

"Listen here, Trappola! You can say that mean shit to anyone else, but keep your dumbass mouth shut when it comes to my exam scores, got it?" they said, tears pouring out of their eyes

he nodded hesitantly and stared at them, confused as to why they were still holding him like that

"Well are you gonna apologize?" they asked, raising an eyebrow when he immediately nodded

he apologized over and over again, and didn't stop apologizing until they ended up getting annoyed with his endless apologizing

Leona Kingscholar

Leona hadn't mean to get angry with his partner; they'd just suggested to him that he could do a bit more to help around the dorm

he hadn't mean to snap at them, but he'd ended up reminding them that they couldn't afford to do nothing, but he could

they grabbed him by the shirt, glaring up at him through their tears as they yelled at him

"You don't get to treat me like garbage, Leona. I can't afford to be a lazy prince like you, but that's because I worked my ass off to get here."

while they were seething, Leona made a mental note not to upset them like that ever again (they were terrifying woops)

they asked him to apologize, and he let out a half-hearted 'sorry, my bad' before trying to pull them into a hug

when it's clean he won't get his afternoon cuddle/nap with them, he starts groveling for forgiveness

Vil Schoenheit

Vil never enjoys seeing his beloved S/O cry, but he's never caused it before (until now at least)

has no idea how to proceed, he's not entirely sure what he'd said that made them this upset

he tried to approach them, resting his hands on their cheeks as tears fell from their eyes

they grabbed his arm and held him in place, making sure he couldn't run away from their fury

"Why would you say that stuff to me? I don't like how I look most days, so why say I need to lose weight or wear more make up?" they asked angrily through their hiccups

Vil immediately folds, his heart breaking as he realized that he'd hit a nerve by commenting on his partner's looks

apologizes endlessly, treats them to a spa day the next afternoon, makes sure to buy all their favorite treats, etc., anything to make up for making his beloved cry

Sebek Zigvolt

Sebek is pretty blunt and doesn't really take the feelings of others into consideration when he speaks sometimes

he didn't really think it'd upset his partner so much for him to compare them to Malleus again and again

all he'd done was mention how his partner could do better in flying lessons and all, and how Malleus was incredibly good at flying

his partner had teared up immediately and grabbed the sleeve of his jacket, pulling him along to a more private area before losing their cool

"Look, I understand you and Malleus have a special relationship but I'm NOT him and I'm not trying to be!" they said, wiping the tears from their eyes with one hand

Sebek panics and tries to apologize, but fumbles over his words again and again while trying to explain he would try not to compare them again

when they threaten him with no affection until he properly apologizes, he'll literally get on his knees and hug their waist, begging for forgiveness and reminding them that he only wants their affection, not Malleus's

[punkpandapatrixk]

Romance, self-development, spiritual awakening; what have you—your Higher Self is here to reorient your compass~🧭This PAC is relaying a sense of Love towards yourself (first and foremost), which subsequently assists you to become a vibrational match to the person destined to share a harmonious, soulmate type romantic connection with you~💖

[Back to Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

Pile 1 - Get Ready to Get Busy, and Happy~!

10 of Cups, 4 of Wands, 7 of Wands & Priestess of Shine

Don't they say we must be patient as everything works out in Divine Timing? This is it! The time for you to Shine has come. You now have all the necessary skills to impress and make your breakthrough🤩Had this chance come about earlier, you wouldn't have done as wonderfully—trust that! For such a long time now, you've been so emotionally unfulfilled. Seems like you've been struggling and working and improving yourself—including going through shadow work and healing yourself spiritually—but true emotional satisfaction was still nowhere to be felt. You've wondered if there would ever be an end to this desolate feeling.

Here it is. The Gate of Happiness is opening up! All you've worked for ain't for naught. FYI, sometimes people become a coward before the gate towards happiness; maybe because they've been let down so many times throughout their period of struggles. Can't blame that, right? It's not your fault that you're scared. But here's a message from your HS to remind you to not cower when the chance arises. Haven't you been wanting this for a long time? For the sake of your own happiness, don't sabotage this chance!

Down this road, you're gonna get so busy with new preoccupations and some things may be a little troublesome. But it's worth all of the troubles because this endeavour: 1. is in alignment with your Soul's Purpose, or 2. is something temporary that gets you closer to your Destined Life Path anyway. At any rate, you're gonna get so busy, but also happy! This is the kind of busyness that's worth your Life Force~🫀Oh, and... if you're not there yet, this is the road that's gonna lead towards meeting your Destined Person. So~don't cower before the Gate of Happiness💖Kick that fucking door open if you must!

Little sparkles of Shine~🔻🧡

If, and if, you find yourself scared of even trying your luck in whatever endeavour is on your mind, think it this way:

Whatever the result may be, at least you took action, and that's proof enough of your not betraying your Soul's desires.

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 - Transform; Don't Look Back Anymore!

6 of Cups, XVI The Tower, 2 of Pentacles Rx & Priestess of Inspiration

As I was turning the cards and finishing taking their pic, the song Ready For Your Love by Gorgon City came up on my shuffled playlist. There's this part of the lyrics that resonated like a bomb even before I began channeling:

I'm ready for the start of something new/I'm ready to depart from what make me blue/I'm ready for my heart to let you through/But most of all, most of all/I'm ready for your Love~ do woop do woop

The lyrics in bold, my friend, is the reason The Tower card sits in the middle of your pile. Since you're ready anyway (you've been ready for a while now) this is more of a message of encouragement from your HS. That lil boost of confidence by acknowledging you're down the right path. You're gonna change your Life, right? Don't let reminiscence of the past hinder your progress. Plus, this PAC being the last part of this whole... Destined Person series(?) wants to let you know that you're only getting closer to them the further you go down this path🎉

The Tower card traditionally brings a sense of hopelessness for its message of destruction, but in your case, you can literally use the power of lightning to your advantage. Be that magician and power up your engine with the force of nature!⚡️Basically, this means you can work harmoniously with the benevolent will of the Cosmos, made clear through your connection with your HS🌞So long as you don't resist, your process should be easy...er.

It's only natural that you lose some people during the process of transformation, but who's to say you're gonna end up alone? In fact, you're making space for your Soul Fam members to come into your Life. I see a lot of cheer ahead of you! I think there's a quote that says something like, butterflies don't chill with caterpillars anymore. It's okay, you're turning into a butterfly, let the caterpillars blossom at their own pace, too. This pile's message is quite short, but an additional message can certainly be found in this PAC: ♥︎How You’ll Recognise Your Soul Fam

Little sparkles of Inspiration🔻💜

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 - Keep to Yourself and Build Your Kingdom!

5 of Pentacles Rx, Ace of Pentacles Rx, Knight of Pentacles & Priestess of Energy

-To think you've got all Pentacles (earth energy) and here's a hardworking Capricorn girl, Winter, in the picture🤯-

Whatever your dominant sign may be, I think this pile attracts people with strong Water placements. Maybe something like a lot of (or a few but important) planets in the 12th House, and the like. Basically, you have so much spiritual energy which you're still learning to manage. If you identify with being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), even an empath, even more a Starseed, you may have this natural attractiveness to terrifyingly parasitic human beings. Something about your Watery energy is needed by those zombies who can't do anything to help themselves. And being so kind, you give and give of yourself until you run dry.

Your HS wants you to start taking responsibility of your own Life Force and keep to yourself! As you learn to take responsibility for your own capabilities and limitations, so will you learn that other people are JUST equally responsible for their own life choices. You can't save anybody, each one of us saves ourselves by the choices we make. Other people, at best, can only inspire us to take action! Remember that well. It's necessary to start implementing this mindset now because your HS is urging you to manifest your highest possible Destiny.

Destiny may sound like a destination, but contrary to popular understanding, your Destiny is not a place you arrive to after a great struggle. Destiny is essentially constantly created and recreated, reorientated, recalibrated as you make daily choices. Of course, if you somewhat stray or decelerate, your HS and team of Spirit Guides are gonna help you return to balance, so you can manifest the highest possible good in your Reality. If you continue to entertain other people's demands and expectations and sacrifice your own authenticity, that affects your manifestation. But the problem here is that you're always manifesting (you're simply too powerful not to manifest instantly), so in effect, other people's low-quality emanation of energy helps you manifest low-quality everyday reality.

Right now, your HS wants you to really think about this!🍱

Little sparkles of Conviction!🔻❤️

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Feel free to support me on Patreon if you love this kind of content🍑I create stories and tarot readings that calm the mind & heal from within🍒

[Back to Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

[jeriafterdark]

Is this the real life, is this just fantasy, CAUGHT IN A LANDSLIIIDE - (April 2, 2022 rant & JunZhe IRL drama)

So ok. SOMETIMES, being in this fandom feels like it's its own real life DRAMA. Like, first we all stanned SHL/WOH, where two adult men find each other after years of toil and trouble, fall in love, fight together against society and its expectations, and go live their merry lil lives.

And then I get pulled into the IRL drama - aka two adult men find each other after years of toil and trouble and go on 'secret' one night dates, and EXCHANGING rings, and DEFYING c-ent expectations by supporting each other even through the highly competitive c-ent branding industry (i.e. sharing the same LIPSTICK and LINK sales for Tom Ford),+

and living and LOVING and SINGING their love to each other LIVE ON STAGE with their whole on-screen family and OFFSCREEN FAMILY watching (and where we all collectively lost our hearts and minds to them FOREVER) +

and STANDING BY EACH OTHER through thick and thin, and always raising each other up by their own hands and REFUSING to unfollow each other even after the world crashes down around them (813), continuously giving hints and love that each of them exists and are healthy and whole ("Auntie" and fried duck intestines), and showing off that they are SUPER married please DO NOT APPROACH (GJ and his many ringed fingers) +

and finally feeling a breather when one Uncle, one man who saw wrongdoing and took it upon himself to help out one of these boys in his darkest times, only to hold onto each other and to truth and justice and LIGHT as tightly as possible. Things were looking up and police cases were getting FILED and public opinion TURNED.

And even solemnly professing and going on an RP walk to the very spot his husband/laopo went to and telling the world on VALENTINE'S DAY with full I LOVE YOU FOREVER kadian that nothing changes even after the world has fallen and the earth is threatening to swallow them up - with continuous anti-scandals/ZSJ scandals/MERCH scandals,

And then said Uncle gets muted and the TRASH COMES FLYING OUT from all corners of c-ent, a man comes out to try and impersonate one of them, an ex-music manager takes advantage of his image and brand while he's so muted he can only release small leaked audio clips of him affirming his goals, his own best friend is so LOST he thinks he's supporting his bro but he has ties to the very ex-music manager herself so WHO KNOWS where he's coming from, +

and meanwhile his husband, his LAOGONG subtly posts on instagram that it's so easy to accidentally post things on instagram woops! I guess sometimes you can't trust what's on someone's Instagram post! He meant to post that sunset photo for his drama what a silly gougou, BUT US, WE'RE USED to him being a 50G internet/tech savvy person and know he meant something by it because it's impossible to accidentally post photos on instagram during editing bc it makes you confirm several times that you're posting! He also surreptitiously proved this subtle point by posting and instantly deleting a black and white photo of his shadow overlayed on soft polaroid pictures - clearly he KNEW that he could just delete, he didn't HAVE to announce to the world that he made a "mistake" - AND THEN +

His husband/laopo's instagram is suddenly taken out of private mode and starts accepting followers at midnight and his logo is now CHANGED and a sudden OLD photograph of him is shown on it - what curious timing this is! Right when GJ posted an out-of-character comment on his own Instagram. TIN HATS ON? MAYBE. BUT ALSO, IT'S GJ he does this shit all the time, Mr. Colander.

So the drama continues, our heroes, our protagonists are now dealing with a new foe in C-ent, the ex-music manager, the confusingly loyal but misleading best friend, the IMPERSONATOR.

Who will come next? What can we expect on next week's episode of SHL / WOH: IRL edition?

(ok but forreal these two's love for each other (even if you're not a CP fan or you don't believe in love then gtfo why are you here, but even so you cannot deny how much they do for each other) - their love for each other AMAZES AND DISGUSTS ME AND MAKES ME CRY INTO THE VOID. YEET MYSELF INTO THE SUN and it'll still be less hot than their IRL romance ok done)

(THIS IS WHY I CAN'T GET OFF THE MOUNTAIN, THEY WON'T LET ME.)

[ajokeformur-ray]

Shaken to the core // J x Lilith // angst, fluff, comfort.

Summary: During the scene in which J is interrogated by Batman (the True Villain of Gotham), you protect J and end up getting punched by the Masked Coward. J goes feral but when you’re safe at home and patched up, J’s own emotional wounds come to the forefront and your bond deepens; if such a thing is even possible.

Warnings: I don’t like Batman and it shows lmao (so maybe don’t read if you like him), reader gets punched, J is scary angry, descriptions of fights and physical injury, swearing, crying, intense discussions, lots of comfort.

A personalised fic for @jokershyena​. I love you, doll, and I can’t thank you enough for letting me fully write this out for you skskskkkskk I adore our talks. I hope you like this! ^^

Word count: 3, 581 (Okay, I know you said under 1k buuuut~ a) have you met me? and b) when do I ever do what I’m told?)

Everything happened so fast.

One minute J was sat in the cold and unforgiving metal chair, his hands folded neatly in his lap in a mockery of the ‘rules’ the Commissioner had left him with, and the next were his feet suspended several inches above the floor, steel toecaps scraping across the floor, his painted face so close to Bats’ own masked one. J had been sat there teasing the Masked Coward but once again had Bats’ power and the situation at hand gone to his head. He was acting more like a villain than J was as without a word did Bats swing J around and slam him down far too harshly onto the metal table. It made J cackle and woop through his amusement as he curled his fingers up beneath his chin in a position of mock defense. “Ya’ gotta break your code,” J dropped his voice to a gravelly octave to mock Bats’ own ridiculous voice. “You know it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“I’m not gonna break my code,” You rolled your eyes at Bats’ voice - seriously, how was this dude able to talk like that for so long? Did he use something to alter his voice? - but your sarcasm quickly turned to horror when Bats lifted J up, still by his collar, and slammed him down once more against the table. How could this man call himself a hero when he was so violent with J, a man who hadn’t actually done anything in this particular case and had just been minding his own business? And why the hell had someone asked for you to be in the room, too? Ugh, you hated Batman. If anyone was the villain of Gotham, it was him.

While Bats was still holding J down by his collar, his other arm, clad in hard leather, came up, up, high above his head, his fist clenched - 

“No!” Your heart seized in your chest as panic and a fierce need to defend what is yours took you over and you flung your body forward, moving so that your back was pressed to J’s chest, your hair spilling over his abdomen and chest like a dark halo. You were leaning over him, protecting him, and you heard J growl, felt the vibration against your back as it rumbled through his chest and pushed out of his throat, the sound guttural and foreboding, as Bats’ fist connected squarely with your shoulder, and made you cry out. You slid off the table and dropped to the floor and the room. went. silent.

Pain exploded in your shoulder. Fuck, it hurt. The hard leather, Bats’ brute strength, the harsh way that Bats had let you drop, presumably shocked by the fact that he had just broken his code completely accidentally. Your entire arm was numb, pain and fear pulsating through you. You were so scared for J, you were terrified that something bad was going to happen to him. You had always been so protective of him, immensely so, and right now was no exception. You knew, even through the haze of pain, that right now J was both impressed that you had managed to get Bats to break his insanely stupid and hypocritical code but also really angry. 

Seconds ticked past, marked in silence. You weren’t sure anyone was even breathing as you each took the time to process what had just happened. Your thoughts all circled and though the words changed, the sentiment was the same every time as the reality seeped into your foggy mind. You would be lucky if you only had bruising from this. 

You had just been punched by Bats.

Bats had just broken his stupid fucking hypocritical code.

You had been protecting your J.

One thought, more important than the rest, stuck in the very forefront of your mind. So strong was it, so raw was its intensity, that it reverberated around and around inside your head, like a hurricane of beautiful devastation, once it registered in your mind. It was louder than all the other thoughts:

You had been protecting your J.

You felt proud of yourself for doing so. You were a woman of your word. You had told J once that you would be a dragon if he ever got hurt - you would defend him with your life. And right now - you had just proven yourself to be true. You were proud of yourself, immensely so, for looking after your clown. He was yours and no one hurt your J. No one.

“You really shouldn’t have done that.” J’s voice was lower than you had ever heard it before. You had known J for twelve years; you knew his every tone, his every expression, his every demeanour... but you had never heard that pitch from him before. Your head shot up as you took him all in. The ticking jaw muscle, the clenched gloved fists, the leather creaking with every flex of his fingers, his tongue prodding against the scarring on his inner cheek, first one side and then the other before the thick muscle left the warm cavern of his mouth to wet his full lips, his chin dipped, his head tilted to the side... your blood ran cold. “No one hurts my hyena.”

J was pissed, so much so that he was almost shaking with sheer unadulterated rage. In a movement so fast that your naked eyes struggled to see what was happening, and your mind, oh, it was spinning, J grabbed Bats’ head with both of his hands, raised his knee and mercilessly brought Bats’ head down. J acted with no hesitation and with brute force in a moment which reminded you of just how dangerous your chaotic clown could truly be. There was a sickening noise and Bats dropped to the concrete floor like a sack of potatoes. It was loud, undignified and he was undoubtedly out cold, but you didn’t much care. Good riddance. It was nice to see Bats get a taste of his own medicine. You had no idea where the Commissioner was or where any of the stationed police officers were but you suspected that everyone had cleared out of the vicinity once Batman had begun his portion of the ‘interrogation’ - or, as you and every other morally flexible person saw it, unwarranted aggression akin to torture. You had intervened long before Bats had truly started on J, but he never should have even been allowed to do so. He wasn’t a man of the law and as such, he had no jurisdiction here and he definitely had no right to be throwing anyone around like that. Who the fuck did he think he was??

J climbed gracelessly off the table and stepped over Bats’ body like he was nothing more than a pile of shit in the middle of the road (if the shoe fits...) and got down on his knees beside you, gently, gently, pulling you into his lap. His body was trembling, from worry or from adrenaline you knew not. “You shouldn’t have done that, doll.”

Tears came to your eyes fast now that it was all over and you sniffled. Oh, but you were in so much pain, but J was okay. Nothing more than a few scrapes or bruises. J’s okay. J’s safe, J’s okay he’s okay he’s okay... “I would never let you get hurt, J.”

“I know,” J sounded so genuine, his voice quiet and his tone soft as gloved fingers swiped your tears away. Not many fell - both of you knew that this was neither the time nor the place, no matter how much it hurt. There were no masks here, no pretenses... just you and J, as it had always been. “You’re my guard hyena, aren’t’cha?” There was untapped urgency in his words, a need to make sure that you were okay and you felt that same sense echoed within your own self, so desperate were you to ensure that your J was okay.

Your answering nod sent sharp stabbing pains shooting through your shoulder and you couldn’t have stopped the wince if you had tried. J’s gaze sharpened as he looked you over. His intense chocolate eyes were looking at you critically, his stare roaming over your body as he catalogued your body language. He was being so tender, his arms around you like the safest, warmest cage, like a heater was your clown.

Deft fingers pulled your collar aside, making you wince, and J leaned into your body, peeking into your shirt as he checked out the damage. There were no cameras in this interrogation room but even so did J not wish to expose you, to make you uncomfortable in any way. He made a soft whistling noise. Had you been anyone else, he would have been impressed with the colouring. As it was... he was enraged and trying so, so hard to keep himself from beating Batman shitless. “It’s a pretty purple ya’ gonna be wearing when this settles, Lil.” Despite his gentle teasing, J was being completely serious. It was almost scary. Almost. But you knew your J, you knew him, and you knew that he would always take care of you. Right now was no exception. “Come on, let’s get’cha home.”

There was a shakiness to J’s voice which both of you could hear but J’s ticking jaw muscles kept you from voicing your concerns as he gathered you up in his arms and carried you out of the building. Nothing had gone the way he wanted it to,  but you had always been and would always be his number one concern. Fuck the world - his hyena needed him and truthfully, he needed you, too.

Time ceased to have all meaning as J did not let you go. You remained in his arms for the few blocks that he had to walk, your face tucked into the warm crook of his neck. You littered the skin available to you with kisses, licks, nibbles, gentle bites... J had so much pent up anger and energy within him that he was almost vibrating, but he was still so gentle with you as he got you both home, holding you in such a way that you were barely jostled by his movements. Oh, but he was so strong, emotionally, physically... your clown was fierceless, unstoppable, especially in the face of one of his worst fears.

Losing you.

Without you, J would truly have nothing to lose, nothing that he could be threatened with. He got you both home safely and he carried you through to the sofa in the living room.

“J... J, you can put me down. I can walk.”

He only shushed you, somewhat roughly, and set you down on the sofa. Immediately was he gone to get the dark green first aid kit which you kept in the bathroom, and he was back just as quickly. A pocket knife slid out of his sleeve and he fingered it into position expertly, the blade balanced between two fingers as he sliced your shirt off straight up the middle and peeled it off your body as gently as he could. You made no protests. J would replace it, you knew he would, and the circumstances were such that you couldn’t bring yourself to stop J. His face was set, his eyes were somewhat misty, and his breaths were deliberately slow, deep. J was keeping calm as best as he could, and you knew that once your injury had been examined and taken care of, you would have to deal with J’s own wounds.

You almost wanted to tell him to not bother with your injury, to let you take care of him, but that would only get you scolded, so you sat tight and let J take care of you. In moments like this did the two of you not need words, so well did you know each other and so deep was your bond. Twelve years... twelve fucking years and never before had you made good on your promise to take a hit for him if you had to. J had always made sure that such a promise wasn’t even necessary but today, today there had been an opening to prove yourself, to use your body to protect J’s own, and you knew that he was more thankful for it, for you, than he knew how to say.

So he would show you, instead.

And J did... careful touches, slightly rough kisses to your forehead, to your cheeks when you hissed in air through your teeth or otherwise winced, two pairs of chocolate eyes met every time you did so, and J would either shush you or his full lips would turn downwards in genuine sympathy. You were hurt because of him. His touches were so tender as he ran fingers over the deep purple bruise which bloomed across your collarbones, the slope of your shoulder, veiny lines spreaded out like tendrils around the outside of the bruising like a border of red and purple vines... there was some blood where the skin had completely split and J mopped it up, bandaged the areas and kissed over the protective layer he had placed against your skin as if his love could seep through the barrier and heal you from the outside in; indeed, many of your emotional wounds had already been healed, or, at the very least, soothed, by his presence in your life. You were pretty messed up just from one punch, but you were infinitely grateful that J hadn’t had to take the hit. You would do, be and say anything for him if it meant keeping him safe, sane, honest.

The more J put you back together, the more unravelled he became. 

When at last you were bandaged and J had helped you to get into your pyjamas ready for sleep - you had been awake with J this entire time and neither of you had slept for more than a few hours at a time over the last few days and you were both exhausted on top of everything else - J put the first aid box back into the bathroom. He took his sweet time, his head bowed, his broad shoulders stiff. He was still on the defence. J was too calm, too quiet and you knew, you knew your J. He was barely holding it together.

As he came back into the living room, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers, his beautiful face bare and his footsteps uneven, his fists clenched, his head bowed and his slightly greasy locks framing his face, hiding himself from you, J sighed. “Best you, ah - get some rest, doll. Bed’s ready for ya’.”

“Aren’t you... aren’t you joining me, J?”

J shook his head, angling his face away from you some more as he took another step towards you. “No, no, I, ah - got some calls to make.”

Like hell he did. Not tonight. “Then I’m not sleeping.” Fire crept into your voice and you stood. Your shoulder didn’t hurt too badly. It wasn’t as bad as the pain you had felt that time you had been shot in the leg, and you knew you’d be okay. “Not without you, J, not after today.”

“Lilith - “ There was a warning in J’s tone and you went immediately to his side. You knew your clown, you knew that he had been on the edge of something ever since you had taken the hit for him, and you saw the opening that you had been waiting for, perhaps subconsciously, this entire time.

You took his hand, locked your fingers with his and you walked the both of you to the bedroom. You could almost hear J’s torment as you got into bed, easing yourself down with a wince. Lying down, it wasn’t so bad. You would be just fine within a few weeks. You had taken worse before. 

“J, don’t... don’t hide from me. Come here, sweet angel.” You kept your tone soft, warm, comforting and you used your grip on his hand to pull J towards you. He didn’t protest, he didn’t fight you, he didn’t argue or try to say that he had work to do. No, J went with you, and as he eased himself down atop you with barely any hesitation - you were always so sure of yourself and what you wanted with him and for him - he sunk into your body.

J’s strong forearms framed either side of your head, your hair once more like a dark halo; it was reminiscent of what had happened today, though this time was J protecting you, and his shaking only intensified until his entire body was shaking. J dropped his head into the crook of your neck, his slightly greasy locks tickling at the underside of your chin, your nose, and you felt the falling of one, maybe two tears.

J was shaken to his very core and you needed (and wanted) to take care of him, now.

Ignoring the screaming in your shoulder, you wrapped both of your arms around J’s broad shoulders, wrapped your legs around his waist and crossed your ankles to solidly anchor him to you. “Shh, Jack, it’s okay - it’s okay, my darling, I’m here.” J didn’t even react to the mention of his real name, he just burrowed down further into you as if he was trying to climb inside you, to hide himself from the world by literally becoming one with you so that never again could the two of you be torn asunder. You ducked your head somewhat awkwardly so that you could rain kisses down upon the top of J’s head, your lips lingering against his skin, your nose resting in his strands, which were in desperate need of a dye job as well as a wash. Normally, you would have made him shower before coming to bed, but not tonight.

Tonight, all the rules were off the table. There was only room for the two of you. The raw essence of your relationship had been exposed to reality this night and neither of you quite knew what to do about it. All you could do was just to... simply be together, to express the impossibly deep bond which the two of you shared with one another. You continued to kiss J over and over and at some point he lifted his face up so that you could reach him there, too, his bare scars receiving the most love. You adored his scars and you treasured the times he let you interact with them. 

J lifted himself up so that his nose was inches from yours. Your lips landed on his forehead next and J’s broken rasp of a voice broke the quiet stillness of the room, “He dared to touch my hyena. No one touches you, Lilith. You’re mine and… there’s no me without you. Without you, I have nothing… nothing.” As if he was distressed by words alone did he shut his eyes tightly, and you cooed as you cupped his face in your hands, your fingers stroking along his cheeks.

“No one hurts my J. Mine. I love you.” You felt like you were going to cry, so deeply and so intensely were the waves of love and affection crashing over your shores at this moment.

The answering sentimental declaration came in the form of J’s full lips crashing against your own, his lips warm but heavy against your own, his tongue hot as he commanded your full attention. J’s kiss was so thorough, his hot hands cupping your face - like a heater was he - the feeling of his heart pounding against your own... oh, but this was everything you could ever want and need. J left no room for arguments as he took from you what he needed, though in equal measures did he give you what you needed. You only needed each other, to reaffirm that the both of you were alive and safe and whole and loved, always loved, and that would always be enough to shine a light on any residual fears and anxieties lurking in the dark about each other’s continued safety.

“Mine,” J growled against your lips as he peppered your face with kisses so ferocious that they were almost bruising, “Mine, mine, mine.”

“Yes, J,” You smiled through tears you refused to let fall. Too many had been shed this night. “I’m yours. And you’re mine.”

J made a noise low in the back of his throat by way of agreement, by way of making and keeping a promise which never needed to be voiced because you both just knew as he claimed your lips with his again once more, but it was a slower, more tender expression now, more reverent and full of worship than it was of desperation, of urgency. “The hyena and her clown... the clown and his hyena. I like the sound of that, doll, don’t you?”

The smile you gave J by way of a reply was brighter than any firework, bigger than any explosion, and more commanding of J’s heart than anything else in the world.

You were his entire world, and so long as he had you and you had him, why, you both had everything.

[arocoomer]

Time to rant about my au woop woop

HL alien! Gordon:

- Born on Xen

- Was mostly alone there because his species is almost extincted

- Is a shapeshifter, can electrocute people (can only do that in original form), and is pretty fast

- Is kindof related to vortigaunts

- Is dark green, has 2 big green eyes and 2 smaller eyes under them, and has claws, tiny spots on his face, a lil arm on his chest, and sharp teef

- When he shapeshifts, his eyes are always green. Except if the thing has no eyes

- Taken to Black Mesa by scientists after they figured out how to get to Xen and back and they studied him and tested on him

- Kleiner stumbled upon where they were keeping him and read files about him

- Soon after that, Gordon escaped and made himself look like Kleiner. He bumped into Kleiner and it was very awkward. But once Kleiner figured out the situation, he decided to help him out

- Eli had walked in on them planning on what to do and was very confused why there were two Kleiners. Kleiner explained and then helped Gordon find someone else to shapeshift as

- Gordon had decided to stay to figure out how to get home

- Can't make human noises

- Talks to very few people

- Never actually left Black Mesa (except for occasionally going outside, but that's just desert), so he's never seen what the rest of the world looks like

- Resonance cascade happened months after he escaped. He couldn't get into his original form during it because he didn't want to reveal it to the people there. He does get into it in Xen though

- Fucking h a t e s the HEV suit because the people who took him to Black Mesa were wearing them

HLVRAI alien! Gordon:

- Very similar to HL Gordon, but story is a lil different

- When he shapeshifts, only one of his eyes are green. The other eye is just whatever the thing's eye color is. In his case, it's brown

- Had an egg on Xen but was taken to Black Mesa before it hatched. And he knows the baby can't live on it's own :(

- Was taken to Bubby's tube months after he was taken because... idk, Black Mesa doesn't make sense. So he's buddies with Bubby :] and Gordon bit him when they met

- They escaped together and he disguised himself as Dr. Coomer before making himself look like another human

- Can make human noises, but it's difficult when he looks like an alien compared to doing it while disguised as a human

- Resonance cascade happened years after he escaped. He stayed for the same reason as hl Gordon

- Lied about having a baby because he honestly didn't know how else to explain the random baby picture in his locker. He has no idea where that came from

- Says his blood is orange because of some disease

- Often whispers to Bubby to ask him about Weird Human Things

- Acted very strange when they got to Xen and never explained

- Terrified of telling the others because they may see him different or worse, think he's like the Xen creatures they ran into. Bubby calls him a baby for being scared of that

- It is kinda obvious he's not human when he acts very strange when the science team hang out after everything. Because he's never been outside of Black Mesa!! He has no clue what he's doing!

- Knows Gman can take him back to Xen, but never asks because he realized there was really nothing there for him

[hongism]

hii caly! i saw ur post the other day about the new fic and how it might not do well statistically without the explicit smut, and i just wanna say, if it makes u feel any better, that i’m really looking forward to it. maybe especially more bc of the fact that there wont be loads of smut. i really love seeing u develop ur characters and create a sense of realness and rawness to them through conversations and world building/back stories, as it has helped me find closure to certain issues of my own as well, so maybe without the smut this time i can get to focus on that part that makes me enjoy ur writing so much. not that i don’t like ur smut, ur bangity bang bangs are BOMB, just that once in a while i’d like to endulge in great fics that don’t make me go horny simultaneously woops. AND u said u are proud of her, so allow me to tell u that that’s the only thing that should matter :)

anyways haha sorry for rambling, just know i’ll be looking forward to it, and rest assured you’ll get loads of feedback! i’d also like to sign up to be ur resident 🌊 anon so i can come by more often and scream about stuff or just help soothe ur heebie jeebies the way oceans/waves often do to me if thats okay hehe. stay safe and happy caly <3

beloved bestie this ask is one i kept coming back to while i was away because it was so encouraging and kept me going when i was getting down about the fic 🥺 it means so much to me that you're looking forward to it and that you're excited for it ahhh i think i really had so much fun with this fic because it didn't include smut, i felt i was better able to explore other aspects of building characters while only alluding to sex !! now that i've fully finished her,,,, i'm most definitely so so proud of her and how she turned out even if it's not how i initially planned, the writing gods took the reins and made it happen! but really thank you so much this truly got me to sit my lil ass down and write the fic so many times bec it was so encouraging to me i would be HONORED to have you join my lil anon family heh 🥺💗💖

[gerrydelano]

The anon with VSS & Palinopsia got me thinking about the Spiral in general, and like. I have VSS and condition where both eyes are permanently overblown. I've had insomnia, nightmares, and migraines as a direct result of this. I mean, you got lil rainbow flecks everywhere turning into shapes, turning into more shapes, and WOOP there's a monster gonna get you, except nah. Bc it's all in your brain you doofus. Or, you're looking at one place (or even just one direction) for too long, and now (1/2)

light is acting all weird. I dunno, I got rambly here, but I feel that's definitely something Spiral might employ, especially given that VSS and other eye conditions are really only just getting coverage and understanding. (2/2)

[BDG voice] i’m RONOLOGUING ABOUT THE SPIRAL AGAIN.

for SURE @ all of this. the spiral sort of taking things that do already exist and that are documented and have names and people Think they understand them, and twisting them beyond the scope of that assumed understanding, is Exactly the point i think. or at least, a really interesting thing to explore as being one of its many parts.

it’s a SUCH a compelling idea for the spiral to employ this kind of thing because most things are more effective when based in real experiences? rather, that you could theoretically pass off as an ordinary experience or even a medical phenomenon simply because it’s got a name, there’s a name someone else could give you to rationalize it and you could believe it for a while until it got worse or bled past the outline of the symptoms you WOULD expect if it really WAS xyz condition, etc.

especially if it’s only JUST getting coverage and understanding like you said, like, that makes it sort of a perfect tool imo? because people Don’t Know just enough that it can still be justified as “oh it could still be this we don’t know yet! give it time!” except that it fucking Isn’t and OUGH

that’s terrifying! because by then you’d be wondering, oh shit, if it was never the thing they told me it was/that other people experience, what has it been this entire time? will the time i took NOT addressing it make it harder to make it stop? etc. 

it’s not that the spiral would be responsible for a condition like this but rather... piggyback off the fact that people already accept that it exists (or in some cases deny it!) and then push those boundaries to confuse study of it and people who are experiencing the effects of it/whatever it might be doing to them outside.

if that. makes sense? like i hope it doesn’t sound like i’m trying to Eldritchify an actual thing people experience i am coming from a place of also having stuff go on like this that i also think is really cool to think about through a lens of “how could this being weaponize the fact that this experience already exists” and how much harder would that make it for us to identify what’s just Happening versus what’s being Done to us.

michael’s statement even said that his friend ryan got diagnosed with schizophrenia, when we know that probably wasn’t it, because that’s what ordinary people think is the best explanation for the kinds of things he was reporting. which is not me saying he couldn’t have also been schizophrenic/that schizophrenia is some mystical concept, i mean literally that people cannot conceptualize or accept the spiral and so they assume/insist it is something that is very human, etc.

it isn’t that the spiral just created mental illness/other conditions that disorient people, it’s that it surely targets people who are predisposed/already suffering because they’re already in a place of often times being less likely to successfully get anyone to take them seriously & they’re less likely to trust themselves. saying this as someone with like 9 prof neuro dxs.

the spiral literally leads directly into shit like not being believed by doctors and all that nasty horrendous stuff which it genuinely truly fucking sickening to think about like this is not quite in the same vein, but it still? is? because it could START with the VSS. it could START with thinking it’s just this other more physical problem, and then it gets worse, and then it gets worse, and then you run out of ways that you can explain it, and then you’re alone knowing something is happening when no one else can understand it.

SORRY FOR THE MASSIVE RANT AS ALWAYS i just think this is a really cool thing to draw off of when depicting the spiral for sure! not that it’s cool that it does all these terrible things (i am genuinely sorry you have to deal with this it sounds like a Complete nightmare jdfkbn) but more... it’s a more visceral avenue to take for this Thing that is MEANT to represent this sort of disorienting experience.

[looselucy]

Vitae & Mortem

Dystopian AU - Read previous chapters

Part Three

She looks down to the tiny child in her arms with nothing but love, wishing to hold her this close forever, share this bond forever, and she’s crying. But it’s not because she’s overwhelmed, it’s because on some level, she knows. She knows the words that he’s about to say, maybe from the look in his eyes, or maybe that’s what the sinking feeling in her stomach is. She knows she’s going to die, she just doesn’t know how long she has left. “I’m sorry to tell you, Miss Glover, but you’ve tested positive for Mortemosis.”

“What does this mean?” She asks casually, stroking the cheeks of her new-born. “It varies.” He shrugs. “You could have a couple of hours, or a couple of days. But… the outcome is inevitable.” “I’m going to die.” She states. “Yes. I’m sorry, Miss Glover.” He sighs. “I’ll give you a minute.” He walks from the room, closing the door behind himself, and Arbel Glover finds herself still completely calm. She gazes down to her daughter, silently enjoying the few moments they get to share, because their time together will end in just an hour, the disease racing through her body, which is already trembling, her skin becoming purple, but she can’t see it. All she can see is her daughter. Mortemosis is painful, and quick. It weakens every single inch of the body, causing the lungs to collapse, the muscles in every section of your body to eat away at themselves. It thickens the blood to the point where the veins can no longer sustain the liquid, leaving the victims battered and bruised and aching as the heart slowly begins to die, beating slower and slower until it can’t fight any longer. The quicker, the better. This can sometimes drag on for days; days of being able to feel that your heart is truly trying, battling against the virus. It never wins. Arbel Glover smiles down to her daughter, grateful tears forming in her eyes, and this could continue for minutes or hours, she’s unsure. Even when the doctor re-enters, she barely acknowledges his presence. “What will happen to her?” She whispers. “We’ll do our best to get her into the governments schooling system.” “And if you can’t?” “Then hopefully one of the charities will take her.” Arbel knows that her daughter will end up on the street at some point, and somehow, that scares her more than her own death does. She wants to stay in this moment forever; before she can feel the pain and before her daughter is taken from her arms and forced to fight a world full of people who do not care about her existence. She doesn’t want this moment to pass, she wants this forever. “The father?” Her doctor asks. “He’s not here. He doesn’t want anything to do with me, or her.” “But he might die.” “Let him.” She hopes the disease eats him alive, causing maximum pain, because that’s all he deserves. She hopes that Mortemosis aches through his body in the way it’s aching through hers. She doesn’t survive long enough to know that it never does. “Do you have a name for her?” He proceeds, caring little for the father’s wellbeing. “I’m not saying it will stick. All the girls who are put into the government scheme are addressed as Jane, but we can keep your name on our records.” The young girl squirms in her arms, but only for a moment, and then she’s still again. The painful thing about the image is that this is the closest thing this child will ever have to a home, being there in her mother’s arms. She’ll never know a comfort like this again, and she’s not even old enough to be aware. Her mother doesn’t even live long enough to see her daughter’s eyes, the way they’re almost orange, autumn seized in her spherical pearls. “Wendy.” She smiles, brushing the backs of her fingers over her daughter’s cheek. “I want to call her Wendy.” 10:03AM I awoke when the wind blew hard, and I saw his face as soon as my eyes shot open, laying close beside me. I shuffled away instinctively, wondering how I’d ended up so close to the boy I’d made a deal with the evening before. I took a few moments to check over his face as he slept, his swollen lips, how peaceful he looked, like he was wrapped up in sheets indoors somewhere, the wind barely touching him, just playing with his short hair. I pulled my eyes from him, checking around the area and cracking my back, reluctant to wake him but unsure how this little treaty was supposed to work. I’d never been like that with anyone before. Never before had my eyes opened to someone I was familiar with, even if it was just a little bit. There were people I’d gone to school with, and there with other kids that I’d helped for a day or an evening, but never anything like that. We’d agreed to help one another, and it was completely new territory. The only thing I could see that I had in common with the boy asleep in front of me was that we were as stubborn as each other, so the fact we’d come to this agreement was baffling. I was still feeling sceptical, but it was clear that the boy knew more than I did, about who we should trust, words and facts and figures that I’d never been given the access to. I had to learn from him. I had to find out as much as I could from him. I owed myself that much. By the time I was lifting myself to my feet, he was opening his eyes, cowering into himself after feeling the harsh wind, remembering where he was. It wasn’t something any of us could ever get used to, no matter how many times it happened. Sleeping on the street was not something that you could grow accustom to, even if it was all you’d ever known. “What’s that?” He asked me automatically. “What?” “You have a watch?” I grabbed at my wrist, the item cold against my palm, hiding it from him for a reason I couldn’t place. It was the only materialistic item that I owned, and I loved it for that reason. I could look down to my wrist and pretend I was someone else, someone who needed to keep track of their day and monitor their time. “I… Yes.” I replied. “What time is it?” “I… I don’t know. It doesn’t work. It’s been… stuck pointing down for as long as I’ve had it.” “Then… why do you have it?” “I just… I think it’s nice to own something.” I swallowed. He sat himself upright, rubbing over his eyes with the back of his hand, but nodding, understanding why I felt that way towards the item. I took a few more steps away from him as he got to his feet, finding it strange that I’d just slept beside him, because now we were awake and the sky was grey, I didn’t feel comfortable around him. He had this aura, one that was unfriendly and harsh. Neither of us had eased around the other, and it meant that trust and comfort was still a while away. My nostrils flared as I kept my eyes on him, seeing the way he noticed my unease. “You’re scared of me.” He stated. “You’re intimidating.” “So are you.” He scowled. “That’s how we’re meant to be, right? That’s why we’ve got this far.” I shrugged, because I knew my attitude had helped, but also knew how much of my still being alive, and free, was down to sheer luck. Maybe he felt differently, since it seemed his moves had been calculated and constructed for as long as he could remember, but even still, we were both lucky.

“C’mon,” He groaned after realising I wasn’t going to reply to him, stretching a little before taking off on his journey. “There’s a lot to learn.” I followed swiftly, staying just a few steps behind him, watching the back of his head with my eyes low. I’d put my trust in him and I was still trying to figure out why. I’d slept beside him without worrying that he would push a knife into me whilst I slept. It didn’t make sense to me that I could trust him so little at the same time as allowing him access to all of my trust. The situation made little sense. We trawled towards Leicester Square in silence, and I couldn’t help but notice the confidence in his walk. Most Lost Children kind of cowered in on themselves, kept their heads down, their bodies hunched in on themselves, shy and scared of the world. This boy didn’t walk that way. He sauntered down the street like he owned it, tall and threatening. Usually, people were blind to our presence in their lives, but he even managed to pull in the eyes of people who were lucky enough to live in homes, and have jobs, and know what it was like to have a family. There was just something about him. It baffled me. “Are you going to tell me your name?” I asked, noting how there were still people slumbering around the square. “Why would I do that?” “So we can try to be normal around each other!” I cried. “You know my name, so I should know yours.” “You didn’t give me your name through choice, you’re just unfortunate because I knew it anyway, like everyone else.” “STOP!” The sudden raise of my voice brought him to a standstill, glaring down at me like I’d offended him. I was hoping that the more I’d seen of him the easier it would become, that we could be okay around each other, but he wasn’t even trying. “What the fuck is your problem?” He glowered. “You know I can help you, and I know you can help me! You don’t need to be so awful to me. I’m trying, and if you’re not going to try then we shouldn’t do this.” “I just don’t want to tell you my name! I’m happy to do this but I don’t owe you shit!” “Stop using those words! You know I don’t understand them!” “I’ll use whatever fucking words I want! I’m not telling you my name, and you either accept that, or you don’t!” “Fine, but stop being so awful to me! Stop! Please! Just… be kind! I don’t understand why you’re not being kind!” Regardless of how strong Lost Children were, and how high we had built our walls, I guess it was in our nature to be kind to one another. We were treated unfairly, ignored, shunned, an inconvenience to those around us. For that reason, we had this need to be nice to each other, because no one else was offering us that. The majority of us stayed alone, blocked people out, but in those occasions where we let people get close, we softened, became gentle, allowed people to break down our walls, even if it was just for a few minutes. “I… I don’t know how to be.” He eventually mumbled. The boy who refused to share his name had spent his entire life calculating where he could and couldn’t go, who he could and couldn’t trust. He was wary of everything and everyone, and probably barely placed trust even in himself. Although it was impressive that he’d made it to his age without the Krows knowing who is he was, without his face being one that people knew, it had also made him dark, miserable, lonely and bitter. He hadn’t allowed himself to experience those brief moments of kindness from others, or express kindness himself. He’d kept himself even more shut out than the rest of us. “Well… maybe that’s one of the things I can teach you.” I swallowed. “How?” He looked lost suddenly, scared, like maybe his loneliness had created a dark hole within his heart that he’d been trying to ignore. It hadn’t even taken many words or actions for me to force him to look at it, feel it. “Marby.” I nodded. “You need to meet Marby.” 11:44AM “SHE WAS HERE THE OTHER DAY!” I slammed my hand against the glass. “I BROUGHT HER HERE, SO I DESERVE TO KNOW WHERE SHE IS NOW!” “Jax, calm down.” “I know she’s been here again. I know she has. She knows how to get here and she needed help. Her eye… Her eye was bad and you know it was. Tell me what happened.” “Jax-” “TELL ME!” I think I knew. I think I knew because the boy I was with had refused to enter the shelter where I’d dropped Marby just two nights before, and the look in the woman’s eyes. I knew but I just refused to admit it, because I’d trusted that place countless times and I’d literally handed the young girl over to them. I felt tears forming, biting my bottom lip to try and stop them. “Did they come here?” I whispered. “We don’t hand anyone over to the Krows, you know that.” “Did they come here?” I repeated my question. She even looked like she didn’t want to admit it, because she knew that we couldn’t trust the Krows. No one was sure of what they did with those children they took, but hardly anyone acknowledged the fact that maybe what they did wasn’t helpful for us. “They came and offered sanctuary.” She finally admitted, and I wasn’t the only one with tears in my eyes. “She chose to go with them, there was nothing I could do.” “How could you-” “They’re invincible, Jax!” She let out a sniffle. “They have free reign… We-we can’t just turn them away! They came and said they would keep them safe. Six children left with them. Marby was one of them, I’m sorry.” I slammed my fist against the glass, over and over, my growls aching my throat alongside my sobs, and I could feel this weird pain, bending inside of me. I’d only been with her for a matter of hours but she was so young, so pure, the kind of kid who could barely string a sentence together. Of course she had volunteered to go with them. Of course she’d reached out for adults who promised to help, because she had no idea how to help herself. My whole body ached at the thought of her choosing to leave with them, looking up to them with hope in her eyes and walking willingly into their trap. When the side of my fist began to bruise, blackening automatically, I stopped my physical attack. “I trusted you.” I spat. “I trusted you to take care of her, and you didn’t! You let her walk away with those monsters.” “I don’t know what you wanted me to do!” “Something!” I yelped. “That’s your problem! That’s the problem with all of you! You don’t know how to help and you don’t even try to think of a way you can! You might work for a charity that claims to support us, but you don’t. You’re not trying hard enough! You accept the world as it is and you refuse to fight for us when you know we can’t fight for ourselves. Marby was so young and naive that she chose to go with them, and now she’s probably dead, and you didn’t do a thing to stop that. That’s on your head.” None of her words would be worth my while, so I turned on my heel, storming out of there as quickly as I could. I didn’t have the energy to fight her further. I took off down the street, forgetting that I had company. “Jax?” I heard that the boy I’d teamed up with was following me. “JAX?” “You were right.” I spoke, not turning to look at him and not stopping my venture. “You were right about that place. We can’t trust them.” “What did they do? Jax, stop! Calm down! Talk to me.” “You’re actually the last person I want to speak to right now. I want to be alone.” Regardless of what I’d said, I could hear that he was hot on my heel, soon grabbing me by the arm and forcing me to stop. I tried to pull away from him, but he pushed me to the side of the pavement, my back crashing against a brick wall, not looking into his green eyes. “I know this is new for us but we have to try. You said we have to try!” He scowled. “What happened? Please, just talk to me.” “I don’t see you trying.” “I’m here, aren’t I? I’m asking.” “I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do this.” Never before had I felt such a strong urge to be alone, to just become a recluse and stray from others, but I had let her past my wall just two short days before and I was sure she was dead. I couldn’t say I liked him, but nor did I want to. Liking and becoming attached to anyone just hurt. So when he spoke again, I wished he hadn’t, because my heart stung. “My name’s Harry.” He breathed. “I… I think I’m twenty, but I don’t know… But, that’s my name… always has been. It’s Harry.” I started crying again, silent tears swelling in my eyes, and I finally looked at him, and for the first time he seemed soft, almost like he already knew what had happened. “The Krows came. Marby’s gone. They just… they let her walk away.” I blubbered. “She was so young and… and she had this infection in her eye… and… they just let her…” I don’t know why he looked so down, because it can’t have been to do with her. He hadn’t even met her, and we were both aware that children were taken every day, children were dying every day. Maybe he was uncomfortable because he could see how sad I was, how even being as lonely and subdued as I was, these things still affected me. I wasn’t sure that was something he let himself feel, and maybe he’d figured I would be the same way. I’d love to pretend that I was as strong as he was, so unfeeling, but I couldn’t keep up the act. It suddenly felt like everything was falling apart around me, and I couldn’t hold myself together any longer. “We should go and find her.” He swallowed after a long spell of silence. “That’s a suicide mission.” I groaned. “Aren’t you bored of… not fighting?” He whispered harshly. “We’ve just… accepted that this is our life! And we struggle every fucking day but it’s like we don’t think there’s anything we can do! The Krows are looking for you. They know you by name… They know your face. They’re looking for you. If you don’t start fighting now, then when will you?” Surviving was a daily fight, one that was exhausting, sometimes meaning going days without food, without any warm clothing or shelter. Fighting meant stealing and bruises and blood. Fighting had never meant anything more than that. What would we even be fighting for? “We can’t change Mortemosis.” I told him. “Any fight we put up will be useless. It’s a disease that we don’t have a cure for. Every second we try to do something, another child’s parents die! What do you think we can do?” “Something.” He replied confidently. “We can do something, and I say we start with the Krows.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes, disregarding his foolish dreams of our miniature rebellion, wishing he would distance from me, but if anything it felt as though he was getting closer, judgement in his eyes due to the fact I was basically saying I’d rather carry on through our struggle than even try to do something to solve it. It just seemed so hopeless to me. “Please just take me somewhere I can trust. Please. Please tell me who I can trust.” 12:15PM Harry kept his head down as he shovelled down the food that had been handed to us. There must have only been four other kids there, none of whom were bothering to look in our direction, but he seemed so paranoid. I looked around, still trying to wrap my head around the place he’d taken us to. It just looked like someone’s home, where they’d set up foldout tables and chairs for us just for the day, their lives surrounding us. Sofas, TV’s, books and tattered carpets, the signs of a life well lived. I figured we were just in the home of a family who helped in any way they could. “No one’s looking at you.” I told him. “Can’t be too careful.” “I find it strange that you won’t even lift your head here, but you’ve become a little team with me. That makes no sense.” He lifted his dead eyes to me, still chewing on the small amount of food we’d been provided, and though things were still odd, we were kind of easing around one another. “We can’t keep questioning why we’re doing this, because we’ll never have an answer. We either do it, or we don’t.” I dropped his gaze, swallowing my pride a little. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” “Am I… allowed to… ask about you?” He rapidly changed the conversation. “Me?” “Your history. I want to know.” A clattering from the room next to the one we were in sent us all spiralling into a small state of panic, our hearts stopping for a moment and all our heads whipping into the direction the loud bang had come from, startled and scared. Harry seemed to compose quicker than the rest of us, like with his head down and his hood up, nothing could hurt him. “Do I get to know about your history?” I asked once I thought I was calm, but there was still a very apparent quake in my voice. “Yes.” He replied bluntly, his voice fine. “Okay. Well… Mortemosis, obviously. My parents died and I was put into the government scheme. So, I’ve been on their records since the beginning. I’m guessing you were with one of the charities?” “Yeah. I bounced between a few. They all… got shut down through lack of funding so… I was all over the place when I was young.” “That’s why you’re harder to find than I am.” “Must have helped.” He shrugged. “Tell me more.” “The government schooling system stops when you’re thirteen. I think… they track people by the year they’re born. So on the first day of your thirteenth year… you’re out. All the girls were Jane and all the boys were John.” “Then, how did you end up with the name Jax?” “I picked it from a book. I used to read a lot. I can’t really, anymore. I try but… I struggle.” “You can’t read?” He lowered his brows. “Not really. And what I did read was… monitored, you think?” He smiled, big and wide, and I think that was the first time I’d seen it. His entire face changed, going from this sharp, dangerous look to one that radiated beauty, happiness, innocence. I felt mesmerised by him. “You don’t know what swear words are. That’s… mind blowing to me.” He sniggered. “Well… tell me!” “They’re kind of… used for emphasis. They have power in them. They’re strong and they’re unyielding. You should start using them. You’ll fucking love it.” I smiled back at him, still confused by the words he used occasionally, but admiring them, because even though they made no sense to me, they did exactly what he said they did. When he spoke those words, he did so with confidence, with flare and bile and supremacy. It was fascinating. “What else do you think they’ve kept hidden from me?” I asked, still smiling a little. “Theories.” “Theories?” “What people believe to be true.” He loosely explained the word. “Where… facts and figures have lead some people. Y’know, some people think the government have a cure for Mortemosis? They just won’t hand it over… pretty much for the reasons they created it in the first place.” “But, the world is uglier now than it’s ever been.” I squinted my eyes. “True, but it’s under their control.” He shrugged. “Ugly, but controlled. Manipulated to be how they want it to be. I don’t think it was a mistake, that the parents die rather than the kids. I think they knew exactly what they were doing. There’s essays on it. Entire groups of people who believe that, and want to fight for us.” “Then where are they? I don’t see anyone fighting.” “Because people are scared. If their government is willing to create a disease that kills innocent children, parents… Who knows what else they’ll do. How far they’ll go.” I had never really found myself questioning Mortemosis. It was just something I accepted. But I’d never been given access to these theories that he spoke of. I’d never known there were people questioning it, doubting it, wishing to fight against it. The thought of that made a somewhat proud grin crawl across my face. “Well, what do you believe?” I asked him. “What do you?” He asked back. “I haven’t… allowed myself to believe anything other than what’s been handed to me until now. I haven’t… seen the things you’ve seen, or read the things you’ve read.” “I genuinely think it’s a miracle that you’ve got as far as you have.” He smiled again, suddenly seeming friendly. “You must be… insanely strong.” I dropped his gaze, my stomach tugging in a way I was unfamiliar with, feeling flushed and confused. I knew I was strong, but hearing him say that after he’d been so dismissive of me, and so sceptical of my life, it was nice to hear him acknowledge my resilience. “I am.” I nodded confidently. “But part of it is just acting strong. You can’t do that with your head down.” He scooped up the last bit of his food, squinting his eyes and he placed it into his mouth, but then he finally lifted his head, forcing a confidence he hadn’t been able to conjure before. I nodded my head with my eyes fixed on his hood. “I want to stay hidden.” He mumbled. “Hidden people can’t change anything. You want change, right?” I could see that he was biting his tongue though his mouth stayed shut. His jaw tightened and locked, his eyes remaining fixed with mine, and he seemed scared. I gave him the most encouraging, kind smile I could. Shaking, he lifted his hands, and pulled his hood down. “I hate this.” He shuddered as he did. “Earlier, at Leicester Square… You brought in eyes. People looked at you. You must feel that. You must be aware of it.” “It’s different when I’m passing people in the street. I’m comfortable looking like I have power. I think part of the reason I do that is because… people don’t think I’m a Lost Child if I don’t look like one. I can just be… normal, for a while. But… it’s close vicinity that makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want anyone to know my face. It’s worked for me, so far.” “I guess it has.” I swallowed. “I don’t know if I’m a good person for you to associate with, if that’s what you want.” “But you need my help, don’t you? You want to know who you can trust?” “I do.” “Well, I can help you with that. Or… We can do something bigger. I still think we should go after the Krows.” “We don’t have the power.” “But I think we should follow them and see where they’re taking these kids!” He cried. “I’ve thought about doing the same thing so many times but, what would we even do when we got there? There’s nothing we can do!” He slammed his fist down onto the table, another loud noise making all of us in the room shiver and shake, and he’d drawn in eyes now. But he didn’t even seem to care, he just seemed angry. “How did you feel when you were thirteen and left on the streets?” He spat. “I bet you felt hopeless then, but now look at you. How do you think Marby felt when she left with the Krows? She must have felt like it was her only option but we both fucking know that it wasn’t. We either live like this until we die, or we do something. I thought of all fucking people you would understand that.” I scowled at him again, silently piecing together some things. How he was reluctant to be around me, yet willing to group with me. How it seemed like he was constantly changing his mind on what he wanted, how he felt. “You looked for me, didn’t you?” I whispered. “You purposefully looked for me. You want to fight and chose me to fight with you.” “No-” “That’s why you were there last night.” I continued, shocked by my own words. “You’re sick of just waiting for your life to end, and you want to fight with the only person you know to be strong. You don’t want to help me, that’s not why you’re here. You want to fight. You’re trying to… convince me that this is my idea but you looked for me. You want me to fight with you.” He looked away, swallowing thickly, irritated that I’d figured him out. He had no intention of merely showing me where was safe and learning from me in return. He knew my name, that I was the oldest Lost Child that the Krows knew of, and he had reached the conclusion that I would be someone who might fight alongside him. That’s why he had been there so rapidly the night before when the Krows appeared. He had hunted me down again in the hope of arranging this with me. I thought that it had been my idea, but this was exactly what he wanted. Looking nervous, he brought his eyes back to me, his fingertips scratching over the splintered wood table. “Will you? Fight with me?” For the third time, a loud bang sounded, a door crashing into a wall. Again, we all whipped our heads in the direction of the noise, alarmed, but this time, with good reason. “The Krows are outside.” The elderly woman gasped. “They’re here.” She hadn’t shown herself before this, she had only offered up her home for us and then stayed hidden, granting us the privacy we requested. It felt strange, actually seeing her, recognising that there were people beyond the government and the charities and the damn Krows who actually acknowledged our existence. The various lines and wrinkles of her skin marked a lifetime full of stories and memories, the kindness in her eyes radiant, her figure crooked and withered. But the most prominent thing I could see, was her fear. “Where can we go?” Harry asked. “The floorboards. Beneath you.” She simply said. She began scuttling towards us as we raised to our feet, Harry immediately gripping at the table and thrusting it to a different part of the room. I only watched for a moment as the old lady struggled to reach down and move the carpet beneath my feet, before I placed a hand on her shoulder to halt her movements. “Let me.” I shuddered. Everyone stepped back as I threw the carpet up, revealing the floorboards, and a small latch. I knew this had happened before. She had used this hiding place before. Once I’d lifted the door, the few of us that had occupied the room began to clamber into the ground, cramming into the small space available to us. I was the last to jump in, crouching down beside Harry and taking the door with me. Only a few seconds later, our hiding space darkened even more so as the woman threw the carpet back over the hatch, the slightest sprinkles of light filtering through the small gaps of the wood, lighting Harry’s face as he breathlessly gazed upwards, fear scratching over his skin and glittering his eyes. We were all packed in tightly together, trying to halt our breathing as much as we could, to be as physically quiet as we were able. I’d never felt a fear quite like it. I’d never felt like they were that close to catching me. As soon as we heard the footsteps above our head I knew that I’d never been in such close vicinity with them before. The child beside me gripped onto my arm, his overgrown nails digging into my skin, but I didn’t flinch. “Can you please tell us why you have tables set up in here?” A low voice above our heads asked. “I’m having family over for dinner.” The elderly lady lied. “We’ve been informed that you’re housing Lost Children in here. Is that correct?” “No.” “Mrs Targan, are you aware that supporting Lost Children without the official paperwork and approval from the government is illegal?” “Yes, I am aware of that.” She replied, and her nerves were clear. I glanced to Harry again, seeing that he shot his eyes to me at the exact same moment. Every single sanctuary available to us, needed some kind of approval from the government. I wasn’t sure what that meant, how deep that approval ran and if it meant that everywhere was monitored, even the places Harry had thought to be safe, but those words definitely set off some alarm bells. Harry closed his eyes, the look on his face sending a message that said he’d given up, like hearing that had shattered his final bit of hope. He looked so defeated. “Well in that case, I’m sure you won’t mind if we search the property.” “Go ahead.” She was trying to force some form of confidence, but it was clear from her tone that something wasn’t right. She was trying her best, but the quake in her voice felt as though she was sending a beacon of light through the floorboards to reveal our hiding place. I kept my eyes on Harry the entire time, perfectly still, entranced by the look of terror on his face, his lack of hope seeming to make his skin pale. There were numerous footsteps over our heads. I guessed that there were around five men upstairs, storming through her home in an attempt to find some proof that she’d been helping young children who desperately needed her help. That was something they could not allow. They began to rip her home to pieces, the table myself and Harry had been sat on soon being overturned, crashing over our heads. The noise forced the boy who was gripping my arm to squeal, just slightly, but enough to make tears fill my eyes. Any noise we made was enough to make feel as though our battle was seconds away from ending, our defeat and what it would involve uncertain. I wasn’t sure how long that went on for, only that it felt like hours. It felt like a lifetime trapped in that darkness with dust scratching down my throat and tears slipping down my cheeks. I’d never felt weaker, or more hopeless. But I would have stayed that way forever, if it meant we didn’t need to hear what happened next. “We think they went out through the back door.” A breathless voice above us spoke. “But they were definitely here.” “Take her away.” Those three words pained me immediately, how dismissive he sounded, like it meant nothing to him. “We’ll deal with her at the centre.” I slapped my hand against mouth to smother my cries as we heard them scuffling above our heads, obviously trying to restrain the woman as she fought their efforts with all the power she could summon. We heard a bang, and then an agonizing scream before she was forced onto the ground just inches above us, her noises stopping instantly. She was out cold. I had to shut my eyes then, forcing back my sobs as we heard them drag her lifeless body from the room, scraping across the floor, and none of them said a word. I was hoping maybe we would hear some questions, some concern, some scorn from one to another over hurting her without a good reason. But they didn’t make a sound, proving once again the fears I’d always had about the Krows. They were heartless. I’d just been naive enough to believe that their cruelty was only directed towards Lost Children. We stayed silent long after we knew they’d gone, not wanting to risk revealing ourselves too soon, and I think we were too shocked to actually move. It was when one of my sobs broke free from my throat and circled the small space that Harry jumped to his feet whilst lifting the door above us, sunlight finally able to reach us fully as everyone started to clamber out, removing themselves from the space like they were forcing themselves back into consciousness after a horrific nightmare. But I couldn’t move. I just kept sobbing. All I could do was cry, covering my face as just let myself be weak. I allowed myself to feel everything, all at once. I always tried so hard to stay composed, but I just felt so defeated. Beneath the freshly bloodstained wood, I allowed myself to break. “Jax, c’mon.” Harry crouched down, offering his hand to me. “We have to go.” “I can’t.” I wept. I felt like being down there saved me from facing the reality of the situation, the reality of my life. Staying down there sheltered me from every single thing I didn’t want to face. I was there, broken, weak, crying, and I wanted to stay that way. Just for a while. Just a while longer where I didn’t need to pretend I was strong. “Jax, please, take my hand.” He was breathless, tears also in his eyes. “They could come back to look for more. We have to leave, now.” “We don’t stand a chance, Harry.” I wiped my eyes, so I could look up and see him clearly. “They’re looking for me. They’re going to find me and they’re going to hurt me and I don’t want you-” “I don’t care about that.” He shook his head, moving his hand even closer. “But-” “I know the risks… but… I also know you’re the only person with the strength and the drive to fight with me. To do something about this. Please… Please fight with me.” The boy ahead of me, had spent most of his life withdrawn, alone, just like I had. He’d moved from one painful situation to the next, battled every single day to survive and spent countless nights on the streets. He was tired. He’d had enough. He wanted, needed change. And he wanted my help. In that moment, I knew I had to. I couldn’t live like that anymore, scared to sleep, the streets as my home and also my biggest threat. Even the sanctuaries we’d once known no longer felt safe. We had to fight, we had to do something. I couldn’t think of a good enough reason not to. So I nodded, and finally placed my hand in his.

[luccislegs]

Hi!!!!! Can I request Lil scenario or hcs of Whitebeard pirates meeting Dadan after Marineford war (assume that Ace and WB didn't die ㅜㅡㅜ), pleaseeeeee? BTW I love your bloggggg ♥️｡◕‿◕｡

of courseeee and thank you ♥️

–

When Ace woke up a week after the fiasco that was Marine Ford, his first fear was that Whitebeard had died. When he tried to get up, Marco immediately pushed him back back down, promising he was alive and well.

His next worry was over Luffy, and again Marco assured him he was fine and had been saved by Law and taken to Amazon Lily.

After being reassured that everyone was okay, he was overcome by immense guilt. The whole thing was his fault, because he didn’t want to listen to Pops about Teach. Everyone he cared for had almost gotten killed and something in him just…gave.

Pops was sitting in his usual spot, looking cheerful as ever. He had survived being stabbed by one of his allies, the assaults of three generals, the sinking of the Moby Dick, and the near-deaths of hundreds of his sons and daughters, and had come out of it looking exactly like one would expect.

Tired and beat up, covered in bandages and tubes. Marco could work miracles, but he couldn’t beat old age.

Hesitantly, Ace stood before him, tears swimming in his eyes before wrapping his arms around Whitebeard, who hugged him tightly in return. The man had fought a war for him; it was the least he could do.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, son,” Whitebeard said, his voice gruff with emotion. He pushed Ace away so he could take a good look at him. Like himself, Ace had had it just as bad, if not worse. Akainu had punch a hole straight through him, and it was only by the grace of every miracle in existence that Marco had made it to him before he died.

It had taken a lot of time and a lot of care to keep Ace alive while Marco worked to close the gaping wound, but he had pulled through and no one could be happier than Whitebeard himself.

But Ace was looking guilty, and not just because of everything that had happened. “What is it you need to ask, Ace?”

He hesitated, trying to gather his thoughts before explaining. “I know…I know I just came back, and we just…just won a war. But I realized that…Dying made me…I want to go visit Foosha Village. Makino and Dadan…they’ll be worried and I haven’t seen them in–”

He got no further than that because Whitebeard grabbed his shoulder, giving him a sharp nod. “Yes, I agree. We should go visit them. I’d like to meet the woman that raised you, and give her my thanks.”

That wasn’t what Ace had expected, and he thought to argue, but changed his mind. He didn’t want to leave his family so soon again, and Pops and Dadan would probably get on like a house on fire. 

Plus, he wanted them to meet. Two of the people most important to him deserved that much, at least.

“Alright. Thank you, Pops.”

–

Ace could hear the screams of children, saw them pointing in terror at the massive ship approaching. Even they knew Whitebeard’s flag, and knew it was to be feared.

But the adults knew better, and knew that his ship approaching could mean only one thing. Everyone already knew about the Navy’s defeat at the hands to the Whitebeard pirates, knew that Ace had escaped. 

But no one knew for sure if he had survived.

Makino screamed as Ace stepped off, tears falling freely down her face as she threw herself into his arms. He wrapped them around her gently, holding her close as a familiar sense of comfort washed over him.

Woop Slap came next, giving his customary scolding about how bad he turned out, but Ace could read between the lines easy enough.

Friends came from left and right to hug Ace, and it was a long time before they finally allowed him to breathe.

Whitebeard waited in the wings, giving Ace a chance to catch up before walking down the ramp, instantly commanding everyone’s attention. The villagers all looked from him to Ace nervously, until he introduced Pops properly.

After that, everyone began to fervently thank Whitebeard for saving Ace’s life, with Ace nodding along. Someone started clapping, and then everyone was, with cheers and whistles mixed in. Whitebeard took it all in stride, while some of the others laughed in the background.

It was several minutes before they settled down again and even then they were so loud it was hard to think.

Ace looked down at Makino, who had latched onto his arm and refused to let go, and asked the dreaded question. 

“Where is Dadan?”

Her face morphed from one of happy relief to nervousness. Before she could answer, though, a loud voice yelled his name.

He turned and found himself faced with the very woman he had asked about, who was barreling towards him like a rhino, looking for all the world like she was going to murder him. 

Ace pushed Makino gently off so she wouldn’t be hurt, and braced himself for the inevitable impact. 

Instead of the punch he had expected, he found himself swallowed up in a bone-crushing hug.

“You stupid, stupid fool,” Dadan choked out, and Ace realized she must be crying. “You absolute idiot.” 

There was more, unintelligible muttering through her tears, and Ace could feel himself beginning to tear up. Unable to help himself, he hid his face in her bushy hair and let them fall, clutching her back as tightly as she held him.

He didn’t know how long they stood there, but finally a gentle hand on his back brought him back to reality. 

It was Makino, and she was looking at him with a misty expression. “Let’s go to the bar for some privacy.”

With Dadan on one side and Makino on the other, they walked hand in hand into the warmth of the bar. Whitebeard and the others followed at a distance, wearing smiles or looking uncomfortable with the affection in turns, but all equally happy to see Ace smiling.

“Dadan,” Ace said once the doors to the bar were closed, “I want to introduce you to Whitebeard, my father.” Turning to Whitebeard, he said, “Pops, this is Dadan and Makino. They raised me and my brothers.”

Dadan got that angry look on her face again, and Ace thought for sure she was going to give Pops hell, but to everyone’s surprise, the exact opposite happened. He could have laughed at the look on Pops’s face as Dadan threw her arms around him and broke down again.

He awkwardly patted her on the back, looking suspiciously red in the face, until she pulled back again.

“Thank you, Whitebeard, for saving this fool. He’s an idiot, but he’s our idiot,” Dadan said, patting him on the shoulder one last time before returning to her seat beside Ace.

Makino had laid her head on Ace’s shoulder, and had yet to let go of his arm, but now she looked up with a warm smile. “I think this calls for a celebration.”

She served drinks with the ease of years of practice, and soon everyone held a mug of something.

Ace stood up, facing Whitebeard and the others and smiled. “To my family, and to Pops. I sure as hell wouldn’t be here without them.”

Dadan and Makino burst into tears again as the rest of the pirates burst into loud cheers and swarmed Ace, dogpiling him, while Whitebeard laughed loudly.

They all knew that right now was a memory that needed to be cherished because, when they returned to the Grand Line, the Navy would hunt them with renewed, if not more terrible, vigor. They had won one war and tarnished the World Government’s image, and they would pay for it. 

Ace himself knew it, which was another reason why he wanted to return home. He knew that the chances of him ever returning were slim, and now was the best time to see them, to let them know he was okay and that he loved them. He didn’t want to die with this regret, and he almost had.

He raised his mug to Marco, who nodded slightly in return before looking to Whitebeard, who was looking at Dadan in amusement. She was regaling him with tales of Ace’s childhood, and all the trouble he caused along with his brothers. Makino was watching her with exasperated fondness, and Ace found he didn’t care all that much.

Dadan looked happy, Pops looked happy, Makino looked happy, and he himself was happy, and that’s all he cared about tonight.