“But there are nuances to sadistic barbarity against Jews, we are told, and sometimes gang-raping Jewish women is actually a movement for human rights. It hardly seems fair to call people anti-Semitic if they want only half of the world’s Jews to die. The phrase “Globalize the Intifada,” currently chanted at universities across America, perhaps widens the net a tiny bit—but really, who can say? Even the phrase “Gas the Jews,” chanted at a rally organized by NYU students and faculty, is so very ambiguous. How dare those whiny Jews presume to know what’s in other people’s hearts? It remains unclear why anti-Semitism should matter only when it is lethal, or if so, how many unambiguously anti-Semitic murders would be necessary for anti-Semitism to be happening outside whiny Jews’ heads. A realistic estimate might be 6 million. Even then, Jews have had to spend the past 80 years collecting documentation to prove it.”
— Dara Horn, Why the Most Educated People in America Fall For Anti-Semitic Lies
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THE KNITTING SAGA CONTINUES
update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!
previously: part 1
next: part 3 part 4 part 5
a continuation because I have no impulse control and am in dire need of more Aeolus content
first of all, let's establish one thing - and I think we can all agree on that - Aeolus loves to fuck with people. they are a benevolent(-ish?) trickster deity, and they revel in harmless pranks
as a consequence, they are on pretty good terms with Hermes. while Hermes doesn't care much for the 'small fry' and doesn't pay that much attention to the wind god most of the time, Aeolus has their winions follow the messenger god religiously (pun intended), because? where Hermes goes, shenanigans always follow.
so when they get the tea that he's apparently hanging out on that one random Greek island, playing nanny? oh, they know it's gotta be good. so naturally, they go to check it out.
well, turns out that Athena is also there, and both of them are sooo bad with babies, it's hilarious
Athena, holding baby!Telemachus: Ehhh, shouldn't it be eating more meat? it's body is so weak, it can't even hold a spear!
Hermes, exasperated: oh my me, 'thena, that's not how humans work!! babies eat liquids first!! how can you not know that!! here you go, champ, drink some wine!!
Aeolus, hiding in the leaves: holy shit these guys are dumb
so now they can't just leave Telemachus alone with Athena and Hermes! they might not be an expert on child rearing, but surely they can do better than those two dorks! and the baby is adorable.
so they decide to stick around. just for a little bit. a week tops.
fast forward a few years, and they have been raising the prince of Ithaca
Aeolus: *shocked pikachu face*
and Aeolus is the much needed chaotic good influence to Hermes' chaotic neutral and Athena's lawful neutral.
the thing is, Aeolus is really good at hiding. so good, in fact, that no one but Telemachus had even realized they are here. everyone else just thinks that the prince has an invisible friend which, well… they're not wrong?.. and it's not like other kids are exactly lining up to be his friends anyway, cause everyone thinks he's weird (or their parents don't want to catch the attention of the suitors)
and the gods think that it's because they hang around too much and Telemachus can't make friends because of them. so maybe they try to spend less time in Ithaca, for his own good. which only makes things worse, because now the boy is upset, and Aeolus and winions have to try extra hard to cheer him up, which pisses them off.
Athena & Hermes: oh, goodness us, we shall try not to interfere too much with the mortal affairs, so that the young prince grows up healthy and happy ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Telemachus: (T⌓T)
Aeolus: ヾ( ・`⌓´・)ノ゙
and then they have to subtle bully the two dumb fucks to come back.
on a less serious note, Aeolus also has a sweet tooth, especially for marshmallows (idgaf there weren't any marshmallows in Mycenaean Greece, they're a god. they can make all the damn marshmallows they want)
and of course, since they are sooo generous, they always share with Telemachus.
what they don't know(?) is that winions, who all get their own treats, also collectively share them with the baby, because they are secretly evil adorable little freaks.
which results in a very hyper prince sugar rushing seemingly out of nowhere.
Telemachus, running all around the palace and crackling madly: I AM SPEED-
Penelope, unimpressed: and who, pray tell, had given my son sweets right before dinner?
Athena, equally unimpressed: yes, I would also like to know.
Hermes, sweating nervously: heyyyy, why are you all looking at me like that???? ( ಠ‿ಠ )
Aeolus, from behind a tree, unseen by anyone: (。•̀U-)┘
Hermes always gets blamed.
It's the only time he doesn't do the thing
and he's seething, because nobody believes him.
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