#a nonbinary person. that misgendering a nonbinary character isn’t a big deal

[the-meme-monarch]

damn, that sucks. misgendering sucks. I really wish people would remember that frisk/chara/kris' pronouns are they/them

not because they're the fill-in for the player, but because literally everyone calls them those pronouns. jesus.

anyways you're right I wouldn't touch xtale with a 10-foot pole

i appreciate the ask bc someone Literally just gave me the most misinformed and dumb fucking take

[starlightrosari]

Gender struggles from childhood to now (22)

I don’t look like the other girls

I don’t get along with other girls

I get along better with boys

I want to be one of the guys

I wish I looked more like a boy

I don’t feel I belong in women’s spaces

I feel uncomfortable with female gender expectations and experiences

I feel jealous of how my friends who are boys are developing into their bodies

I feel uncomfortable with my genitalia

I feel uncomfortable with my body

I want to look more androgynous

I hate my body

I don’t mind my name, but it feels too feminine. It’s okay on other people, but I’d prefer a nickname for myself

The first nickname was cool, but still felt too feminine. This new nickname sounds really androgynous though, it feels good being called it

I feel like a tomboy

Am I transgender?

Do I have internalized misogyny from having mostly male friends?

I wish I could get along with women so I was treated equally

I just feel small and infantilized, I have to dress more mature and womanly and then I’ll love my body

I’m depressed and dissociated from myself because of people pleasing and trying to fit in with heteronormative people

Who am I?

I’m just a lesbian having a hard time with my sexuality, that’s why I have these body issues and gender issues. And I just don’t know who I am because of depression and trauma

I stopped being called my birth name entirely. I guess family can still call me it even if it feels weird, but it feels good being called “Ari” at my college and by my friends

I stopped people pleasing

I feel better now that I’m dressing masculine

I feel better now that I’m not being called pretty all the time

Maybe I actually am trans?

I kind of like they/them pronouns

Maybe not, I’m okay with my body now and people think nonbinary isn’t real. This is too complicated

I still feel uncomfortable calling myself or being called a woman though

I don’t want to base my identity off the misogyny I deal with anymore, I feel most comfortable calling myself nonbinary for now, and it’s okay if it’s a phase, I just need to explore how I’m feeling

I don’t like using she/her pronouns

I’m terrified to come out to people, maybe I should just tell them I use she/they pronouns so it’s not as big of a deal

I came out to people, but now I feel like I shouldn’t have given them “she” as an option at all

I still wish I were more like a boy, but I don’t think I have gender dysphoria

I’m so envious of my favorite fictional boy characters, I want to cry, I’m nothing like them

I wish when I were out at night I didn’t look like such a girl. I want to look like the beautiful men and androgynous people I see. I want to cry, I hate my body sometimes

Actually I do have gender dysphoria and always have

I wish I were able to be androgynous in the way men can be

I feel uncomfortable being viewed as the feminine bodied person in a relationship. In fantasies I’m always masculine

I feel dysphoric every time I lump myself as sapphic, but maybe it’s just internalized lesbophobia?

No, I prefer calling myself queer. Just because identifying as lesbian stopped me from being cis/heteronormative and was an important part of finding my true self, doesn’t mean I have to keep identifying as it. Still don’t know if I’m attracted to men though

Actually I was attracted to men all along, I just wished I were viewed by strangers as an mlm couple and hated the idea of being viewed as a straight relationship. It was easy to mistake as being lesbian because it at least felt better being seen as a queer woman than a straight girl, so I avoided that possibility altogether by refusing that I was attracted to men because it felt too dysphoric to imagine

I often get really depressed being misgendered, and I feel really detached from myself most days. I don’t want to keep feeling this way

I definitely don’t feel good being called feminine terms or dressing feminine, trying to be more of a girl didn’t make me feel better about myself, I’m absolutely trans and don’t have to doubt myself anymore

I don’t feel dysphoric calling myself nonbinary and neutral language, but I don’t feel euphoric either. How do I identify and what do I do about my dysphoria?

Do I want to transition? It’s so confusing and scary, I wish I were binary trans so I wasn’t so afraid of the irreversible changes

Weighing out changes of the body on T and pros and cons of being off or on T, I’m definitely feeling like some of the changes would make me really euphoric compared to being without it

I actually kind of like calling myself masculine terms. I don’t feel like a man, but maybe I’m a demiboy?

I wanted an androgynous body when I was very young, and I still want one now. I was gaslit by cis people that how I felt about my body was just insecurity, when it was in fact gender dysphoria. I want to transition to a body that feels like me

I like he/him pronouns and feel affirmed being called masculine terms. I’m going to use he/they pronouns and I identify as a nonbinary boy

I’m terrified of having to deal with transmasculine erasure and transphobia coming out, but I can’t keep staying in the closet. It hurts too much. I need to come out

[thedreadvampy]

please keep talking abt wrestling. i've kinda fallen into this hole recently and, since you're cool af, I would love to know whatever you have to say about it

Well I mostly watch AEW although I was very into Progress before the pandemic (which is a London-based indie promotion that's also basically the feed source for NXT UK) but idk whether or in what state Progress will come back not just bc of the pandemic but bc this year's wrestling abuse scandals involved a lot of their management and core roster so they've had to really reshuffle.

anyway that's an unnecessarily grim diversion let's talk AEW (I'm a few episodes behind bc I watch on Zoom with my pals and it's easy to fall behind while trying to line up our schedules, we're gonna watch Winter Is Coming tonight)

This blog's opinions are:

Women's wrestling is severely underrated and that's the fault of the promotion not the fans, AEW has a phenomenally talented women's roster with a big fan following but consistently gives them no air time, very little space to develop plots, one match per episode that the commentators half-ignore, and only ever one plot at a time. I love Hikaru Shida, Nyla Rose and Britt Baker as characters but there's a huge women's roster of compelling characters who only ever show up on Dark or for a single bout not tied into any particular plot on Dynamite and it's very wearing. When they launched AEW they made a big deal about equal pay for the men and women's rosters and paying the same regardless of gender and fan status, purely based on card position, but that means absolutely nothing if there's only ever one women's match and it's always at the same mid-card position. Sorry to open on a negative but it makes me so mad that WWE, the company which is notoriously misogynistic and whose director had to be shown Asian schoolgirl porn to accept that the audience would find Japanese wrestlers "sexy enough" to put in the ring, is somehow a better venue for women's wrestling than AEW. like fuckkkkkkkkk just treat the women's roster like you would the men's!!!!

on which note, AEW Heels, the Paid Fanclub For Women Who Like Wrestling, is the most half-assed attempt to court the female wrestling audience I've ever seen (and I watched WWE's Revolution pay-per-view where the line was 'isn't it nice that the men have allowed women to have their own PPV thanks to all the men who made this possible'). like ok I COULD give you money to Be A Female Fan OR, wild concept, you could do more than one women's match per episode on your flagship show and not relegate the women's tag title to YouTube

Relatedly, There's Too Much Wrestling. As you can probably tell from the fact I'm 4 episodes behind on Dynamite, I struggle enough to fit 2 hours of wrestling into my week, but AEW also expected me to keep up with Dark, BTE, and sometimes other side projects? and now also Impact and NWA and sometimes NJPW. and then if I want to recognise big names they're bringing in I would also have had to watch WWE which like. there's even more WWE than AEW. idk I'm a completionist and it's simply not possible to watch All The Relevant Wrestling bc that would be like. 20 hours a week and I have a job and a life and stuff. like I watch AEW Dynamite and BTE and that does me.

this is all very negative but I love wrestling! I got into it a couple of years ago and it's absolutely incredible to me I love the artistry I love the athleticism I love the creativity and the fun people have with their characters. and the reason I gave up on WWE as soon as AEW started up is that it feels so much like the wrestlers are given space to play and to find the stories they want to tell.

MJF is a DELIGHT he's like one of my favourite heels he's so loathsome and so much fun! and there's like a really good consistent emotional core to his overall storyline of desperate insecurity I'm so into it and I'm so hype about when inevitably Wardlow's gonna turn on him. I love the resonance of his relationship with Cody vs his relationship with Wardlow and also the extremely strong gay unrequited love vibes that keep popping up here.

Hikaru Shida is AMAZING I love her. did u know she makes her own ring gear and learnt to speak English pretty much from scratch when she joined AEW a year ago and is now cutting full promos in English? also her facial acting? 😘👌👌👌👌

Sonny Kiss is phenomenal I hope they're on Dynamite more bc not only is she a phenomenal character in their own right but when she started tagging with Joey Janela their in-ring chemistry actually made me LIKE Janela for the first time. also it warms my heart that JR, despite being kind of an old fogey, is regularly correcting other commentators on their pronoun use and vocally acknowledging that Sonny is nonbinary.

honestly JR does just warm my heart in general like he visibly struggled early on with getting out of the 2000s mindset on Female Wrestlers Are Sexy Divas and he accidentally misgendered Nyla Rose one time but he's been really open to criticism and often gone to bat for the trans and queer members of the roster. he seems like a nice guy and I'm glad he's here, which I didn't think I'd be saying a year ago yk?

I know I already said this but Chris Jericho is a phenomenon. he just makes everything FUCKING FUN every story he tells is wild and hilarious. The Inner Circle gives me life (on this blog we stan Ortiz) and his beef with Orange Cassidy was pure gold.

Also Matt Hardy is here!!!! I love Matt Hardy, I think his Ultimate Deletion match with Bray Wyatt was what made me realise how fun wrestling can be and he always brings the creativity. He's been through a lot of shit in his life, I'm really happy that he's able to work with a promotion that gives him room to be as hogwild as he wants because Matt Hardy's great strength is being absolutely off-the-chain weird. I love him.

Speaking of Matt Hardy and the Inner Circle have you seen the Stadium Stampede from this summer? honestly worth buying the whole PPV just for that it's wild choice after wild choice for 45 minutes it might be the best wrestling match ever. idk if I like it better when Matt Jackson Northern Lights suplexes Sammy Guevara the entire length of a football field, when Matt Hardy chases Sammy with a golf cart, the whole bit where Adam Page just goes off and gets drunk in a bar and has a brawl with Jake Hager, the bit where Proud & Powerful try to drown Matt Hardy but every time he goes underwater he comes up in a different costume and persona - holy shit it's just amazing it's everything I love about wrestling

Moving away from AEW, the best wrestling storyline I've ever seen is Progress' story with Cara Noir and Ilya Dragonov. They're both phenomenal wrestlers but also the raw power and emotional weight of the story? it's simple but it's heartachingly beautiful I was lucky enough to be in the audience for the second of 3 matches in the story and I was nearly in tears it's so theatrical and balletic???? Check it out if you can it's in Progress' video archives (those are all pay-to-watch though. I think they're also on Amazon Prime for American viewers?)

Cara Noir is probably my favourite wrestler, although Nyla Rose, Charlotte Flair, Chris Jericho, Luchasaurus and Adam Page are all up there. He's just the most phenomenal physical performer and he really gets how much theatre is in wrestling, his facial acting is impeccable and he's not afraid to take hard bumps and really sell. also he just seems like a very sound person out of character (touch wood), he's very principled and takes his work and the wellbeing of his colleagues really seriously which is what you want in a wrestler

[roombagreyjoy]

Ok. I'm ready to start some shit up. Here is a hot take on why sexuality is unimportant when casting (for acting jobs) but gender is not.

Alternatively: LGBTQ people should be able to play straight characters and straight people should be able to play LGBTQ characters...

... but cis people should NOT play trans characters.

It's going to be a long post, so bear with me.

First of all. Hi. Genderqueer actor here. Here's the drill.

Some background information first: Sexuality and gender identity are two different things even though trans people also belong in the LGBTQ community (that's also a hot take, apparently, but it's not up for debate in this blog... you either accept it or stop reading, unfollow and get the fuck out of my sight, thanks)

However! Sexuality: Sexual attraction to...

Whereas gender identity: The gender you identify as (or lack of gender. See: agender, gender fluid, nonbinary folk, etc.)

It's really not that complicated. Now here are a number of reasons why sexuality should be irrelevant when casting:

They're actors. Pretending to like someone they're not attracted to is... kind of in the job description, for most jobs at least. It's really not a big deal (or it shouldn't be, but H*llywood is made up of a bunch of bitch babies...)

It doesn't affect (or shouldn't affect) the actor themselves and/or other actors directly nor indirectly. See: the other actors did not get your part, but that doesn't mean they won't be able to get other parts in the future.

What I mean by this is basically that just because you're straight or gay (using "gay" as an umbrella term in this scenario) you're not going to run out of business, you just have to try at another audition.

If, however, gatekeeping was a thing, actors would have no choice but to play gay/straight characters. It's the bad kind of typecasting. Here is why this is especially harmful to gay actors:

Forcefully coming out in order to work or having to not be out in order to work.

Let's be honest: the "gay" characters aren't exactly at the same level as the "straight" characters. Just take a look at the industry. It's a shame, but it's how it is at the moment.

Less work opportunities.

A form of discrimination against gay people.

Now, here is why it's different for trans people (again, using "trans" as an umbrella term).

Trans people already struggle to get acting jobs. If you give a job to a cis person because you want realism, or whatever the fuck, you're not only transphobic, you're also a dickhead.

The "trans" roles are even worse than the "gay" roles.

So. Here is my HOTTEST take: cis actors STAY AWAY from trans roles. Trans actors SHOULD play whatever role. Why is this?

Even though we need trans stories (told by trans people and performed by trans actors), this should not be the only time you have a trans actor in mind for a job.

Trans actors should play characters that can be trans, but it's not their entire story. The plot should not always be "I'm trans."

It really isn't hard to make a character and then have them be trans and make it irrelevant to the main plot. It really isn't. H*llywood is just filled with bad writers.

Trans people can get hormone therapy and/or surgery but they don't have to if they don't want to. Trans actors should be able to apply for jobs that are not triggering regardless.

Here is why my opinion is this: as I have said before, I am a genderqueer actor. ALL the jobs that have not been written by me, script edited by/with me, produced by me/with me "in the room" so to speak, have NOT used my preferred pronouns. For most, I haven't even had the chance to come out in fear that I would not get the job, that I'd be fired, etc. THAT'S what it's like for a genderqueer person in this industry, if not worse.

I have NEVER played a character that was "me" unless I was directly involved in the production. I can deal with it as a temporary thing (in my head: I can play this character because ultimately I can use all pronouns - even though I have a set of preferred ones - and I understand that typecasting is hard to get by, and it's ok if I play as a cis character that is not my preferred gender identity from time to time) and it is still EXTREMELY TRIGGERING more often than not.

I CANNOT IMAGINE how hard it is for actual trans people (not gender fluid, not agender, not nonbinary... people who ultimately can put up with misgendering, etc.) to have to go through that: being misgendered all day, or having to play "the trannie," having to undergo subtle transphobia because "it's just that we don't have any other roles for people like you."

Trans people should be able to try out any role they desire, but cis actors should not be allowed to play trans roles.

First of all: it's not your story to tell.

Second of all: you're taking a (very much needed) trans actor's job.

Third of all: you're a fucking idiot.

The end.

[dwarrowdams]

All right party people, it’s Festivus!

Normally I only air one grievance and give a good deal of detail on it, but this has been such a shit year that I can’t limit myself to one thing.

So to end 2020, here is a list of (some of) the things and people that annoy me.

(under the cut because it got VERY LONG)

$600 STIMULUS CHECK.  Like my dudes, what the fuck?  That doesn’t come close to covering my rent.

Congress in general because they dicked around for months and months only to give us money that won’t even come close to covering a month’s expenses

The mouse in my sister’s apartment (I’ve never met it but c’mon, she sees enough mice at work and also she’s a nice lady who shouldn’t have to deal with infestation)

Whoever gave me that stomach bug I got back in March (I cut my trip to Chicago short and was sick for a week and a half and it was not fun)

My DnD companions on Sunday when they almost let my character be carried off by demon vultures

The Wisconsin DWD

Community Advocates (aka the rent assistance org that has been stringing me along for about half a year now)

The human body (we require so much maintenance! who designed this bitch?)

Betsey DeVos

JK Terfling

Jeff Bezos

All those other rich fuckers (I could look them up but they’re not even worth the time)

Whatever part of my body that decided late last year that I should develop a gluten allergy out of fucking nowhere

Landlords

Landlords who hike rent during a pandemic

Landlords who slap their tenants with late fees during a pandemic

My aunt, who continues to not give a fuck about COVID even after both of her daughters got it

The part of my brain that just does not want to read anymore (c’mon fam, at least give me this)

Coarse yarn

People who wear strong perfume

People who use air freshener/scented candles/etc. in highly trafficked areas without checking to see if anyone has a scent sensitivity.

My sinuses

Everyone who flips rabbits onto their backs for non-essential purposes (they’re terrified like that and it should only be done to give them medicine or other such things)

Everyone who decides to release their house rabbits into the wild

Cops

People who simp for cops

Capitalism

People who simp for capitalism

That one guy in my DnD group who is just a big asshole

I refer to him on Twitter as Asshole Ray

Anyone who gets really upset when people point out that Sam and Frodo are totally gay for each other

like who cares if you don’t ship it, but stop harassing the people who do

Whoever decided to take the shot of Thorin blacksmithing toplessly out of The Hobbit

People who act like small businesses don’t have an obligation to treat their employees ethically (they do and if they can’t, maybe they shouldn’t be a business)

Anti-maskers

Donald Trump and everyone who supports him (including those who voted for him, those who worked for/with him, and those who have continued to do or say nothing even after he did clearly fascist things)

Gyms that won’t let you cancel your membership over the phone or internet but instead require you to send certified mail or go down there in person to cancel...even in the middle of a pandemic (looking at you, Planet Fitness)

People who stan thin abled cis white men in dresses, but scoff at transmascs, nonbinary people, and/or men of color who wear dresses.

That one phone worker at Community Advocates who continued to misgender me after I told her that I was nonbinary

Companies that destroy usable items instead of donating them because donating is too much work

Whoever decided that paying rent isn’t enough—I also have to pay to do laundry even though I already pay to live in this building and use its amenities

My cousin’s ex who apparently got mad at her because she called her ADHD partner to wake them up and refused to listen to my cousin’s very reasonable response

(she’s poly fyi so no one was cheating)

Men who are just a little too into WWII

People who assume that medieval people were stupid

People who misuse medieval history in an attempt to support their white supremacist ideas

White supremacists in general

My neighbor who always watches stuff really loudly late at night when I’m trying to sleep

People who wear their masks under their noses

People who use stimulants recreationally

you’re the reason I had to pee in a cup every month for a year just to get the medicine that helps unfuck my brain

Big coffee chains that charge extra for plant-based milks

White Vegans (TM)

[elegant-etienne]

12. what is something everyone should know about your muses before interacting?

Multimuse Asks!

All of them are huge messes with varying degrees of obviousness about it. Eti most of all TBH.

Houmei has the Echo, but like, in a bad way moreso than a “makes you really good at everything” way. His whole “prince” thing essentially started with a meta joke. I wanted to play someone who mimicked the way some RPers play really grandiose characters with nothing but their word to back it up, knowing others will roll with it, and see how often he could push his luck with just saying really off-the-wall things with little consistency. Turns out it’s a lot.

Adi is chronically ill, and finding a cure is something that may or may not happen within his storyline, but while he’s technically looking for a cure, I am not OOCly looking for one, since confronting the causes of that is the main gear in a larger machine. I’ve made this pretty clear with anyone I’ve RPed with long-term. His focus is on trying to live as best he can and manage his symptoms, and he dislikes any hyperbole around his daily struggles or treatment.

For Etienne, the main thing is simply that they go by they/them and are neither male nor female! I do use rather specific identifying language for them when I fill out memes (transfeminine nonbinary, as they are DMAB, transitioned, and identify more with femininity but do not identify as female) but Etienne doesn’t really like labels! It feels a little unfair to them to label them at all when they would probably resist doing so.

Also, Eti really doesn’t care that much about pronouns at this point, as long as others treat them with respect and don’t deliberately, intentionally push them into a gender after being presented with evidence otherwise. They like being ambiguous and it amuses them that two people could meet them on the same day and one would call them “he” and the other would call them “she.” However, if that same person, upon getting to know them, deliberately only called them a binary pronoun, that would upset them.

(As an aside, I also wish neo pronouns felt like more of an option. Somehow in the 200+ years it’s been since the first ones in usage were posited, they just haven’t taken off much. Mm.)

I understand, love, and appreciate that folks work hard to self-correct when they misgender Eti - and as part of a larger trend, I think it’s very important and necessary to be cognizant of those slips and correct them when necessary. Just - also - Etienne genuinely does not care that much. So, just know when I say, “It’s not a big deal to them! They’d take no offense!” I am not trying to smooth things over. That’s honestly how Eti feels. They want gender to be fun, not serious, most of the time. While they do have some fragile emotions connected to their gender (and how they experience it in the lens of others, etc.), that isn’t something that’s raw in their day-to-day life.

Thank you for the ask, @atomicdeke!

[darkmasterkattsvault-arc]

PSA

mun info:

katt / dmk / master || they / he || 26 || eastern time || more info

google doc (contains rules and muses)

rules || navigation || temp active muse list || muses || birthdays || ships

key info:

under cut for length please read (not all is covered in the doc)

1) triggers / tagging 

now, if you read my rules/ooc page, as you should have, you’ll know i have a few that i like tagged for myself. with that said, i tend to tag most every triggering topic in ‘trigger tw’ format cos blacklist picks that up a lot easier. alcohol by itself is often not tagged, same with drug use. alcoholism, addiction, etc is. 

never feel bad about coming to me to get me to tag something. i swear i’ve read your rules, but i do sometimes forget or i don’t know where certain lines are. because where your limits are and where mine are, are different. so let me know if you need me to tag something.

with that said, a lot of my muses have triggers in their history that often comes up. transphobia, abuse, addiction, self harm, anxiety, depression, sexual assault, and eating disorders/disordered eating are actually pretty common. if these are something you don’t want brought up but still want to write with a muse, let me know and we’ll avoid all that completely. but i can’t avoid it if you don’t tell me.

i don’t write actively non-consensual things, usually because many of my characters have dealt heavily with situations in their past and because it’s hella uncomfortable for me to write. if i ever do, it will be tagged, probably, ad nauseam. i do tag whenever abuse, rape, etc is mentioned but i don’t tend to go into details. however, i do write a lot of kink and some of it can be seen as more forceful in nature. if y’all need me to tag that, or anything at all, please let me know. if i ever miss a tag on something, feel free to drop me a message, on anon or in IMs, however is best for you. i’ll make sure i go back and tag and make sure to take extra care to tag it in the future. if you need me to tag something in a different way than i am, all you gotta do is message me. i’m a chill human, i promise. i don’t bite.

2) transphobia / misgendering in threads 

so, i’m okay with initial. minor, misgendering for nonbinary muses, between characters (and  by this i mean like once, twice tops during a first meeiting). someone mistaking a muse like joss or ash for a woman, kieran for a man, etc. or a muse like ziv who isn’t out being referred to as woman until they come out to a character. totally fine.

with that said, i won’t tolerate obvious, repeated offenses. i understand accidents happen, but i would like you to put in that effort to get their pronouns right. certain muses will refer to themselves in gendered ways and that’s then open for use. joss, for example, will refer to themself as a boy so another muse could do that after the fact. 

now, a muse like quinton, on the other hand, there is no base for misgendering him, he is a trans man and unless otherwise plotted (in very specific instances) i won’t accept misgendering of him.

i will also write out situations where muses are dealing with transphobia from NPCs, especially quinton, given his source material. for more information about quinton and his transphobia storylines, read here.

3) shipping

high key just tell me. i am usually down for ships to happen. often times i’ll ship something but feel awkward telling you that i ship it despite really liking the dynamic. i’m a shy bean. just know, if you choose to ship with me, i will hit you with feels like a metal chair to the face at likely any moment.

4) ooc chatting

speaking of being a shy bean and hitting people with feels, i fucking love to chat ooc but i also have really bad anxiety and don’t always know how to reach out to people. including people who message me first. i also often have a varying, but generally low, threshold for ooc conversations but especially with people who are not already within my bubble of friends (this bubble is occasionally one person big and they know who they are). it’s literally not y’all. sometimes you’ll message me and i just won’t have the threshold needed for that message and it might sit for a while. always feel free to send me another if it’s been a few days, cos i also might have opened it and forgot. you’re not annoying me, i promise. also, feel free to ask for my disc # if you have that, cos i’m always on there.

5) memes / inbox things

i am the literal worst at replying to shit in my inbox. at this moment there are 40+ things in my inbox. most of those have been there for months. i’m sorry. i’m baymax. i’m slow. 

6) reply length / reply time

my reply length and time it takes me to reply is going to vary so drastically. sometimes you’ll get a novel reply in half an hour, or you might get a paragraph after 3 months. it’s not a lack of interest, i promise, but i work with what the muses give me and sometimes a muse is on fire and sometimes the muse is gone. and i promise, if i ever want to drop a thread i will let you know. with that said, don’t feel bad about taking a while to reply or if your reply length doesn’t match what i’ve given you. sometimes i write a lot of filler because my brain thinks it’s needed. it’s usually not, but you get it anyway.

7) starters

feel free to just randomly throw starters at me. or go through my open starter tag (ostart) and reply. it doesn’t matter if a starter is months old or already has replies, feel free to add, i can always make a new thread for tracking purposes (if you do that). if you do, i can’t always promise a quick reply, cos the muse might not always be there, but i will see it and i will love you and i will launch the muse at the earliest convenience.

[smallhatlogan]

Why Nonbinary Borderlands Fans are Mad About Zer0′s Pronouns, In a Timeline

2012

Zer0 was introduced in Borderlands 2 as a character meant to be absurdly mysterious in almost every way.  Zer0 is apparently not their real name, they seem not to be human (but it’s unclear if they’re an alien, robot, or something else entirely), no one knows where they came from, etc. Still, in Borderlands 2, they defaulted to he/him, and was assumed male.  It’s worth noting that Borderlands 2 also featured Bloodwing, Mordecai’s pet alien bird. In the original Borderlands Bloodwing was referred to as he/him, but switched between games to she/her. This is explained outside the game by Burch, who says that Bloodwing’s species changes gender halfway through life.

2013

Gearbox released the Diamond Plate Loot Chest. In it was the “Pandoran Gazette” an in-universe newspaper. It included an “Ask Doctor Tannis” advice column, the last question being:

Dear Doctor Tannis,

I have heard you are acquainted with the vault hunter known as "Zer0". I have been meaning to ask - that's not really his true name, is it? Hell, maybe Zer0 isn't even a "he". Do you have any details on this mysterious figure?

- Curious in Old Haven

Dear Curious,

I am indeed acquainted with the towering stack of leather and poorly-written poetry that so many refer to as "Zer0". As you have correctly noted, "Zer0" is not the Vault Hunter's true name. Zer0's actual name and gender are (CONTINUED ON PAGE 9)

Page 9 was not included. To my knowledge, this was where it was first seeded that Zer0 may not be male. 

November 2, 2014

 In a panel titled “Playing as a female character panel - Does it Matter” during PAX Australia, Gearbox CEO Randy Pitchford discussed Zer0’s gender:

“The other things that’s interesting to me is sometimes when there’s characters that don’t have a gender or have an ambiguous gender I’ll choose them...In Borderlands 2 we left Zer0’s identity very ambiguous. What gender is he?” *crowd laughs* “We need better pronouns, don’t we? Don’t we need better pronouns?” (Timestamp) 

“What’s the gender of Zer0?….That says more about me than it does say about Zer0, the fact that I use the pronoun he when I describe Zer0. In fact, um, we purposely have left Zer0’s gender ambiguous. There’s a lot of folks at Gearbox that like to think that maybe Zer0’s of a particular species that doesn’t have gender- That is more androgynous.”  (Timestamp) 

(Timeline continues under cut)

November 25th, 2014

The first episode of Tales From the Borderlands was released. Anthony Burch answered this question on his Ask.fm: 

To my memory, tumblr blew up with excited nonbinary fans. Prior to seeing screenshots of this, I really didn’t have interest in Borderlands. The idea of a cool nonbinary character who used they/them pronouns, admist a virtual desert of representation, made me play through the entire series as fast as I could so I could catch up in time to see these pronouns in action. For a long time afterwards I’ve seen other nonbinary people expressing the same sudden interest in the series after learning this about Zer0. Because, yeah, it was a pretty big deal. 

2015: 

Zer0 appeared again in episode 5 of Tales, released almost a year later after the first. Their voice had changed to one that sounds more ambiguous in terms of gender, but Zer0 was still being referred to as “he/him”. Anthony Burch was one of the writers on this episode. Afterward, he answered this on his ask.fm:

Since he claimed it was honestly a mistake, nonbinary fans held out hope. There were posts going around tumblr clarifying that yes, Zer0 was still nonbinary, and still was meant to use they/them pronouns. It was just a mistake made by a thoughtless cisgender man. Of course, then some presumably-cisgender fan goes to Burch, and validates him, because clearly a character can’t just up and CHANGE pronouns! It’s not like anyone ever does that in real life! 

It’s not a fair point. It’s a dumb point from someone who has no stakes in this.  (Another thing worth noting is it has only been other characters who referred to Zer0 as he/him. Zer0 has never made a point of standing up for their own pronouns.) After this Burch just kind of gives up on the whole idea. 

This statement about characters being “progressive enough not to misgender someone” is weird, because the characters, even the sympathetic ones, in Borderlands have often blatantly failed to be progressive. The original Borderlands has the worst of it, it’s your basic 2009 edgelord shit. There’s blatant misogyny, not to mention the extremely homophobic joke surrounding Mr. Shank (and within that the transphobic joke about his girlfriend being a man in a wig). Burch only started writing for the game in Borderlands 2, however. It’s a huge step up, but there’s still a lot of bigotry. Captain Scarlett makes a “no fatties” joke. Mr Torgue fat-shames Ellie. Mr Torgue uses the R-slur. Multiple characters slut-shame Moxxi. Incest jokes surrounding Scooter, who also is implied to be a huge creep towards women.  Heck, there’s the entirety of Sir Hammerlock’s Big Game Hunt DLC is a racist, colonialist mess. Its antagonist is implied to be gay, one of two gay male characters introduced thus far, and he’s a pathetic, creepy stalker.  This is the game series where there are two common enemy types whose names are straight up ableist.  So citing characters as being “too progressive” rings hollow with this context.  Besides, trans people are often misgendered, even by people who’d otherwise be considered progressive.  Burch left Gearbox the same year, so he’s not entirely to blame for what anything afterwards. He just set a pretty bad precedent.

2019:

Gearbox did seem to take the “make a new nonbinary character” thing to heart.  They give us Fl4k, again a nonhuman character, who uses they/them pronouns. And okay, I love Fl4k, but like most nonbinary people I’m tired of all nonbinary characters being robots, aliens, or otherwise non-human in appearance (a trope that yes, Zer0 falls into as well). Still, Fl4k is cute and having a nonbinary playable character who uses they/them pronouns is cool! I definitely plan to play as them. Many nonbinary fans were suspicious though, it seemed likely that Fl4k might be meant to appease us and they could keep on using he/him for Zer0. We were proven right when they released the gameplay preview on May 1st. We hear Zer0 called “he”. None of us are surprised, but it still hurts, we felt like we’d been baited with Zer0.  Besides, why can only one character at a time be nonbinary? Why can a bird change pronouns but not a person? Why was a writer allowed to go out and promise this if it wasn’t going to be followed through on (yes, he didn’t use the word “promise” but telling a marginalized group something like that isn’t something you can just “forget” without people feeling betrayed)?

And that’s where we’re at, as of me writing this. I feel like there are some comments I’m bound to get on this, so I’ll answer them here: Why are you making such a big deal about this?

Me typing a few paragraphs isn’t making a big deal. But I feel misled and baited. After a few years of no clarification after Burch promising us they/them Zer0, a lot of people hung on to hope. A lot of people became big fans of Zer0 because they’re a fun, badass, nonbinary character. Their design is really, really rad! And heck, they were (at least for a time) the most popular playable character in Borderlands 2. Telling everyone, in-game, “actually Zer0 was never really a he, they’ve been a ‘they’ this whole time” would have been HUGE. Like how Blizzard made Overwatch’s poster girl, Tracer, canonically a lesbian, and then revealed their badass gruff guy (who fills the roll of your basic FPS protagonist), Soldier 76, to be a gay man. They/them are still not widely accepted pronouns. For us who use them, it’s difficult to convince people not to default to something gendered. Especially when we fail to appear completely androgynous. I’ve been told Zer0 can’t possibly be nonbinary because they have a deep voice and “masculine” body shape. But real nonbinary people come in all shapes and sizes with all kinds of voices! 

What about Fl4k?

As I said, I’m very happy about Fl4k. They fall into some problematic tropes even more than Zer0 (as Fl4k is verified beyond a doubt to be a robot, and has an “acceptable” androgynous shape to them). I don’t know their voice yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if it also fell into the category of “acceptably androgynous”. Fl4k is new and already “they/them”. Zer0 is an established character who already has a lot of fans among a bunch of different groups of people. There’s definite value in demonstrating a character can switch pronouns, since pretty much every nonbinary person who uses they/them haven’t used those pronouns their entire life. Besides, there can and should be more than one nonbinary character.  Fl4k being nonbinary but not Zer0 kind of feels like Gearbox expects us to shut up and be happy with what we’re given.

What about nonbinary people who use he/him pronouns? Can’t Zer0 be that?

Those people are real and valid.  However, we’re talking about real people versus a fictional character. I admit I’d feel better if it was stated, in-game, “Yeah, Zer0 is nonbinary and uses he/him”. But even then, it’s REALLY EASY for cisgender people to ignore that information and write Zer0 off as male (And knowing gearbox, they’d put it somewhere easily missed. I’ve surprised so many straight people who’d played through Borderlands 2 with the fact that Sir Hammerlock is gay, simply because it was only verified in a side quest). And you know, we were promised they/them, so like, not doing that kind of sucks. Also I think it’s really important to normalize they/them.

So what are we supposed to do about this? What do you expect to change, anyways?

Honestly? I don’t expect Gearbox to fix this so late. In all likelihood, that’s way too much dialogue to re-record. But I still think it’s worth making our voices heard. We shouldn’t silently put up with this kind of thing. Other people will pull the same shit, being either unsympathetic or unaware of the harm they do. And heck, it’s unlikely, but maybe Gearbox will at least acknowledge their wrongdoing.

Also, it’s maybe worthwhile to ignore canon, and keep referring to Zer0 as “they/them”, or if this whole thing is news to you, it’s not too late to start. It would mean a lot to nonbinary fans, and make a point about how Zer0 is regarded.

[absolxguardian]

I am literally begging you to use They/Them for Roxy.

You know that using they/them pronouns for a binary trans person is still misgendering them right?

I assume that you're talking about my latest post, where I used he/him pronouns specifically for a Roxy I believe will eventually realize he's trans just like Meat Roxy does, and then she/her pronouns for Candy Roxy. I know that when you're talking about a trans person back before they've even realized they're trans you're still supposed to go call them by their correct pronouns, but since it can't happen in the real world, there's no protocol for how to gender the alternate versions of a trans person who never realize they're trans. What about all those doomed Roxys who died before they even started thinking about their gender?

Roxy is a fictional character from a story that's a clusterfuck of timelines and sense of self already, so deciding what pronouns to use for her/them/him, as long as it's acknowledging that they're trans in some way, isn't that big of a deal. We can't just ask Meat Roxy how we should refer to him and all of his alts in the collective. This is a situation that's literally impossible in the real world, so I hope you understand anon, that I would never engage in this pronoun fuckery with a real trans person, or even a fictional trans person from a simpler story.

Using they/them pronouns for a collective Roxy doesn't feel right, because as I've already said, it feels like misgendering. But if someone uses them, that's a completely reasonable choice. Unfortunately, since neoprouns have yet to enter general speech, we can't differentiate between the ambiguous they and the nonbinary they. As is using he/him for all Roxys, with the reason that, even if they never realize it, they're still transmen.

[scriptlgbt]

I’m going to add a bigender character in my story that takes place on another planet where lgbt is mostly accepted, but how would I portray a bigender character? The character will use she/him pronouns, so would some say she while others use him pronouns? I get that person who is bigender is still human but is there a way to appropriately portray them?

I’ve id’d as bigender in passing, in the past and around the time I came out and was questioning the most popular definition was that it fell under the genderfluid umbrella with the bi- bit indicating fluidity with two or more genders, or gender identities. Obviously this isn’t a prescriptive thing and everyone has a different relationship to gender stuff. But if this sounds like your character, then pronoun switching is totally fine, just make sure your character does get that say in the pronouns.

Pronouns, again, look different for everybody and there’s not one bigender way of handling pronouns that every bigender person uses. I know some folks that are apathetic about pronouns or have a slight preference, or have individuals who know them in one social context use one set of pronouns for them, and everyone else use others, things like that. Personally as a genderqueer person who uses ey/em and auxiliary they/them, without formal introductions I really like when strangers strike a balance with me between calling me he/him and calling me she/her. Both of these are technically misgendering me personally, but striking the balance between them feels like the closest strangers have gotten so far. It’s definitely my own relationship to pronouns, but I’ve heard some other folks in the nonbinary community express that they feel a similar way (sometimes with different pronoun sets, or in different situations).

Anyway you can pretty much just customize this to your character. Everybody does it differently and there’s not really a wrong way to do pronouns if they are treated appropriately. My only real concern would be addressing or avoiding that a lot of cis or strictly binary trans folks who aren’t as familiar with this stuff defaulting to one set of pronouns without checking with the person, and often based on cissexist or binary-normative assumptions. Like for example, I have had to correct a few different nurses at my clinic who have defaulted to calling me he/him, just because I was going in for a testosterone injection. It’s really not a big deal but sometimes you need to emphasize communication about the specifics of the pronouns instead of extrapolating on your own. If someone says they like she/her and he/him, I follow up asking if they want me to mix it up a bit and what circumstances they want me to use what pronouns for. (“If I’m wearing lipstick, call me she” is a totally common thing people follow up with as an example.) In high school my friends would ask my pronouns at the beginning of each day and adjust accordingly which I liked.

Anyway go with the flow! You have a lot of options.

- mod nat

[gotinterest]

Hi! I saw your post about creators having LGBT characters and it not being a big deal! I have a novel idea, and one of the main characters is NB, so I need to bring that up, but then also (I’ve researched and talked to people about it) can be referred to with she/her pronouns. Idk if I should bring it up more than once bc I don’t want people forgetting and acting like they’re cis. I also am so lazy I’ll prob never write it but YEAH it was never intended to be a big deal so I agree with you!

That’s actually a great question. With nonbinary trans characters, it’s a bit harder to telegraph that they are nonbinary because mainstream media is only just now wrapping it’s head around so-called “binary” trans people and how they transition.

It sort of depends on the kind of person your character is. You have to figure out what “transition” looks for this person and go from there.

For the pronoun thing, while it is true that nonbinary people can use just pronouns like “she/her”, it’s more common (in my experience) for nonbinary people to also use a mix of pronouns (so both she/her and they/them)- especially once they become more confident in their gender. 

Speaking as a nonbinary person, transition is something that’s constantly changing and developing. I started out not really caring about the pronouns used for me, now I do very much care that people use specific ones. The name that I want to switch to has also constantly changed. My end goal for transition has also constantly changed.

A great way of bringing up a character’s nonbinary gender- especially if they are younger and still discovering themselves, is for them to casually discuss and mention their transition. Maybe we walk in on the character in the middle of discussing the new name that she wants to use (this is a VERY common conversation for trans people to have as they are undergoing or contemplating transition).

You could also have your character get misgendered and have her correct them. I would approach this technique with caution, though. Whether or not you should use this really depends on the situation and the universe your book takes place in. If it’s a world where nonbinary genders are readily accepted, go for it. 

A simple, “Actually it’s ‘she’.” 

“My apologies. She...”

will go a long way to establishing the character is trans.

If the universe isn’t friendly towards nonbinary genders, it’s less likely that your character will correct a stranger. Maybe she will cringe at being misgendered, which will lead another character to comment upon it or comfort her afterwards.

As for the “I’m lazy so I probably won’t write it”- are you though? You went out of your way to ask a question and do research about one of your characters. That doesn’t look like laziness to me. Jot down a basic outline of your book’s plot and get to writing! You’ve just got this block in your head that its this big undertaking, but it isn’t. Just start writing. It won’t matter if it sucks at first because you only really discover your story once you start writing it. Then you’ll make notes, go back, and make it better. Then you’ll find other people to read it and they’ll give you notes and you’ll go back and make it even better than that. So what if it takes you a long time to finish? Not everyone can be Steven fucking King.

[danilanidingdong]

My partner was targeted by a predator - a small NYC director.

Please be aware that the following writing discusses kink, LGBTQ+ issues, assault, misgendering, and other topics that are generally not feel good issues. It is in regards to how my partner was treated. She’s read this and given their stamp of approval on posting this. Not because we want folks to feel bad, but because we legitimately want to warn people about a predator.

I’d like to start this off with some personal information. Typically in a situation like this, individual details aren’t necessary, but in this case, I believe it’s important to form a foundation.

My partner and I live quite happily and openly under the queer umbrella. We also function very vocally in kink circles. We don’t believe in kink shaming. We have no qualms with strange kinks. As long as everyone involved consents, we have zero issues.

It’s the consent thing that was recently violated when my partner was assaulted by a so-called director for a short film.

My partner was using a casting website with a very professional reputation (Netflix and Stars have used this site), and she was contacted by a small production company in response to seeing her resume.

The short of it was that this director was looking for LGBTQ+ folks for his social commentary werewolf short films. My partner was so excited, showing me everything that this director sent her. What I was shown was short, but seemed fine. It appeared to be a small budget production company, and the script was nothing to write home about, but honestly it didn’t seem like a bad start. And it paid! The casting website even gave him a neat little verified check to assure performers that they’d been vetted by the site.

The more she talked to the director, the more excited she got. Finally! Someone that wanted to make awesome werewolf content that focused on queer communities! She was excited to show the director what she already had from her costume closet for werewolf makeup and fangs, and he seemed excited to work with her. He suggested possibly using contact lenses, along with some minimal makeup and light use of prosthetics.

When she arrived at the shoot, though. She was met with only the director. No team. In his parent’s empty apartment. Instead of the fake nails that he had explained to her in the interview, he informed her that they would be going to a salon and getting acrylic nails put on. This isn’t necessarily a problem, but anyone who’s had acrylic nails applied knows how difficult (read: impossible) they are to get off quickly. Fake stick-on nails (which he said would be used) are cheaper, and in an emergency, can pop off rather quickly. Acrylic nails are typically an investment of both time and money. Seriously, if you’ve never had them, ask someone who has. Those suckers don’t budge.

But the director didn’t make a big deal out of it. My partner wasn’t very experienced in the film industry, so she took his word for granted.

My partner then spent two hours at a nail salon near the apartment, and while everyone around her was getting French tips, she couldn’t help but be a little embarrassed by the six inch claws that the nail technician was crafting. When some of the other salon customers asked, she proudly informed them “It’s for a werewolf movie!” - in an attempt to save herself from some embarrassment. But the director cut her off, and said “No, don’t tell them that.”

Once the nails were on, she realized that she couldn’t use her hands for anything. Her dexterity was destroyed with these huge, thick claws, and she relied entirely on the director for any fine motor skills.

Still, nothing seemed off. She would film this short scene and be done. When they returned to the apartment, he told her to put contacts in. She expressed discomfort. It was already very difficult for her to function with the nails, would it be possible to try filming without the contacts? 

No. She had to wear contacts.

They had this conversation in his bathroom, where he blocked her with his body from leaving the bathroom until she agreed to wear the contacts.

Because of her nails, the director had to put the lenses in for her, and once they were in, she noticed something else that was a little off.

She could not see with the contacts in.

She now relied entirely on this director for even basic functions, but even then he did not provide her with what she needed. She was not given water at any time during the entire 8 hour filming.

He started asking extremely uncomfortable questions as soon as she was physically unable to leave.

He noted that her resume indicated “nonbinary” as her gender, so he asked plainly, “So that means you have both right? Both sets?”

She was taken aback, and he was rather crestfallen when she explained what nonbinary meant, and she steered the incredibly inappropriate conversation away from her genitalia.

Which he kept bringing up. Repeatedly.

He talked frequently about the character that she was playing, and made her very aware that after her werewolf transformation, her character had “both sets of genitals”. Information that would be important for an actor, sure, but the way he brought it up and discussed it was entirely sexual.

He told her “Let’s just do some improv, no script.”

When he started asking her to touch him with her nails, she realized that she was filming a fetish video.

That was when she shifted into survival mode. He continued trying to make sexual conversation while they filmed, but she would shut down his advances in any attempt to get out of the vision blocking contacts quicker. She felt trapped, unable to leave due to her inability to see or hold anything.

The director mentioned, while filming, that the concept of my partner growing a penis during her werewolf transformation was “getting him hard”, and he kept insinuating that her actions were causing him sexual arousal. She mentioned having a partner as a defense strategy, and he asked if she (in other words: me) would be interested in bringing that partner around in order to shoot a lesbian scene.

In addition to this, he openly spoke of his work with other performers, and it became clear that he was using this casting site to find LGBTQ+ performers in order to find very specific people for his fetish work. It was only then that it became clear that he was looking for trans folks for his performances, in order to act out his fetish. He kept the information quiet during the talent scouting phase, but specifically sought out individuals under the LGBTQ+ umbrella for sexual reasons only, not actual inclusivity. It was only driven home by the near constant misgendering of his previous performers that he frequently spoke about. He told my partner he was trying to create inclusive media. He spoke at length regarding his obsession and sexual fetish for women with penises. The wording he used was dated at best, and offensive at worst.

There was so much, little pieces that my partner remembers from that day as she recovers, things like how he mentioned stopping people on the street to take pictures of their nails, how he worked with a lot of adult entertainers (and misgendered them frequently), and worryingly, minors. Things that on their own wouldn’t raise eyebrows, but when put together becomes a rather disturbing depiction of a predator.

Had she not been on her toes and aware of the situation, my partner doesn’t doubt that this director would have tried to push her boundaries further. He asked her to sensually touch her chest with her nails, and focused on the importance of the ASMR - or the sound the nails made. She skirted the sexuality as best as she could, keeping things professional until she could leave - not that he had earned professionalism after lying to her, but she was simply trying to get him to remove the nails and contacts as quickly as possible.

Afterwards, he requested an exit interview. Desperate to leave, she wondered if she could film it at home and send it to him. He refused, and added that he would only clip the end of her nails so she could leave if she did this exit interview. When he deemed the interview over, he forced her to behave in a bizarre perky way before he would clip each nail, even when he was told that the force of the nail clipping was painful. What was left behind were jagged, thick acrylic stubs that were still difficult to use, but not as difficult as the full nails.

Now, let it be said, neither of us have any issues with fetish videos. So long as everyone involved consents. However, my partner was utterly unable to consent. She was lied to about the project itself, and everything involved with it. This wasn’t a production team, it was a solitary director with a camera who wanted to film sexual gratification videos. 

And the pay?

Well, the nail technician who applied the nails got a total of $145, including tip.

My partner received $100, and as she left he put in an additional $20 for her to “get the nails removed at a salon”. 

Not only was my partner lied to, but she was then physically kept under this director’s control with the nails and contacts that he made her wear. She was unable to leave, and continuously harassed and asked wildly inappropriate questions by someone who was claiming to be an ally, when in reality, he was a predator. He seeks out LGBTQ+ performers in order to film them for his own sexual exploits under the guise of creating inclusive characters and stories.

The lies are where consent is no longer possible. Because of this, my partner filed a complaint and he was removed from the casting website. That being said, we’re still concerned that he won’t stop at that, and will only move to other spaces. He already admitted to using OnlyFans to find performers, and his open conversation about hiring minors has left it hard to sleep at night. Again, absolutely nothing is wrong with minors in film, but judging by the way that this man refused to be open about the nature of his work, it’s a parallel that I’m uncomfortable just leaving without an attempt to stop it.

Part of the healing process has been going public with this experience. I’m never one to speak on behalf of someone, but writing clearly about your own trauma can be harrowing, which is why I offered to write this on behalf of my partner. 

If this production company continues to hire performers, they need to be transparent with their intentions. Not another human being should feel so manipulated and helpless after being assured that they would be doing something positive for the queer community.

Please share this. Please spread this. Please do not let another individual suffer the way that my partner unfortunately has. The production company is called Exiram Productions. They’re easy enough to find on youtube, but I cannot stress enough that what is available there is not at all any indication of what was actually filmed the day my partner experienced this harassment. His secondary company that he works under is called Were-Creature Videos. That particular production company is what my partner filmed for, but she was originally approached by Exiram Productions, and was given absolutely no indication about the sexual nature of filming.

If you’re in the NYC area, please be careful of this person who is seeking out the queer community in order to fetishize them without their consent.

Happy Pride.

Eat a brick, Alexis. 

[airagorncharda]

So tomorrow I’m getting top surgery!! Here’s some TMI thoughts on that, so I can get it out of my system! Or, as my friend put it, “Get it off [my] chest, eyyyyyy” (finger guns included)

So I’ve known that I wanted top surgery since I was at LEAST 16, and I have evidence that I had chest related dysphoria from as early as when I developed breasts. Which for me was like age 11. I’m excited about this finally happening, since I’m fucking 27 now, so it’s BEEN A LONG TIME COMING.

And my fiance is taking 2 weeks off to take care of me, which is great and basically takes all pressure off of me for my recovery. I took care of him after his surgery too, but still, I’m enormously grateful that he’s able to.

People keep asking me if I’m nervous or if I’m scared or if I’m excited. And the answer is yes, but maybe not in the ways people expect? And it’s all been rattling around in my head, so I figured I should just write it down. This way it’s no longer rattling around in my head, and also I’ll have a record of it for 10 years from now when I’ve inevitably forgotten most of this. And maybe other people will benefit from reading this too (whether it’s my friends who care what’s up with me, trans people wondering what it’s like for other trans people the day before surgery, or cis people who are curious and want to learn more about The Trans Experience [TM]). 

Issue #1

My parents want to be there at the hospital for the surgery, which is... a mixed bag? I do love my parents and they want to be supportive of me, and (maybe more than that) they’re scared for me because surgery is scary (more so to them than to me). And it’ll be nice to see them and it’s nice of them to want to be there, and it’s nice that they’re going to be doing grocery shopping and stuff too. I appreciate it all a lot. Buuut when my fiance had his surgery it ended up being just me at the hospital and it was VERY low stress as a result, so I’m a little worried having three people there (and having it be them) is going to be a source of stress? 

Also they’ve been supportive of me my whole life in so many ways, but me being trans is really not one of those ways. They’ve been VERY hesitant to support me about this in any way, and even though they’ve finally come around to seeing me as a guy, I’m still very wary of the whole issue with them. It’s taken so long, and been so frustrating, and I don’t have the energy to deal with that right now, nor should I have to when I’m FINALLY getting my surgery that I would have gotten YEARS ago if it weren’t for THEIR baggage and issues about my being trans.

Because of all that, I both appreciate their support, and also feel like it’s... I don’t know, too little too late to have the effect it should rightly have? I don’t feel like they support me as a trans person, I feel like they’ve just figured out they can’t stop me and grudgingly accepted that. So while I’m glad they WANT to support me, I don’t actually feel supported by them.

Issue #2 (where the TMI part starts to happen)

I really really really don’t want to lose sensation in my nipples. I enjoy sex and I enjoy nipple stimulation, and it’s one of the only things about my chest I’ve ever LIKED. It’s one of the reasons I’m choosing to get the type of procedure I’m getting (Inverted-T/T-Anchor), but even WITH this type of procedure, there’s STILL A CHANCE that I’ll lose sensation. Nerves aren’t in the same place in all people, and they’re microscopic so they might get cut depending on where in my tissue they are, so it’s possible that after tomorrow I’m never going to have sensation in my nipples again which is slightly freaking me out and makes me want to cry. 

The idea of not getting top surgery at all and having breasts forever makes me want to not exist, so there’s no contest, but if I do lose sensation I’ll be really upset about that. I’ve been avoiding focusing on it too much but it’s definitely stressing me out, and I’m not going to know one way or another until after I’m healing. 

Issue #3 

While I’m recovering, I’m going to be spending a lot of time in bed propped up on wedge pillows and unable to lift most things (anything over 5lbs is too much). This means that my cats, who love cuddling me and climbing up on my chest, are going to have to be exiled from our bedroom while I recover, which is of course when I’ll MOST want to cuddle them. I’m sad about that, and trying to get in as many kitty cuddles as I can before tomorrow.

Issue #4

I have come to the conclusion that I’m nonbinary, and while that has no effect on my desire to get top surgery, it DOES mean that how I talk about getting top surgery with people who don’t know I’m nonbinary (like my parents and my doctors) feels sort of uncomfortable and weird. 

Breasts don’t make anybody a gender, they just exist. The reason I’m getting mine removed is that they cause me physical discomfort through dysphoria, NOT because I’m a man (which I’m sort of not). I don’t like that people assume that getting them removed is going to make me feel more like a man, or that surgical transition means I’m binary. 

Issue #5 (more TMI)

And, relatedly, there are days and situations when I LIKE having breasts. I like they way they feel when they’re touched (especially during sex). I find them sort of amusing when I’m lying down and I can jiggle them. I find it hilarious that my cats like kneading on them, and I sometimes like cupping them with my hands and looking at my cleavage. 

I DON’T like looking at my body with them. I don’t like the way they feel when they move (especially during sex). I don’t like the way they feel against my arms when I’m trying to sleep, or they way they fit into clothing, or how clothing looks on me because of them, or the way I get acne on the underside of them because of sweat. 

But there ARE things about them I like, and on days when I feel less masculine, or when I’m relating really strongly to a character who has breasts, or when I’m having sex, I like things about having them that I’m never going to experience again after tomorrow, and that’s a little scary.

Issue #6

I didn’t get my newer laptop keyboard fixed, or my tablet fixed, so I won’t be able to make art, and I’ll be relegated to my old laptop for writing while I recover. This isn’t a big issue but it’s just mildly annoying. I prioritized other things (getting my car fixed, having a relaxing holiday, etc.), and I don’t regret it, but I do wish I had my tablet working.

Issue #7

When I got my wisdom teeth out, they gave me laughing gas to fall unconscious, and it gave me tunnel vision and totally freaked me out, and those like 3 seconds were the worst medical experience of my life. I'm nervous about that, because I don’t know if they’ll be giving me that again. 

Issue #8 (more TMI)

I’ve been temporarily off T for a while, and I currently have my period. Which is not timed very well, and I’ll have to figure out how to either put in a tampon without really moving my arms too much, or I’ll have to suffer with wearing pads and panties instead of boxers for a couple days, which will suck either way. Obviously I need to make sure if I’m wearing a tampon that it doesn’t stay in too long, which may be complicated since the medication I’ll be on for the first few days is likely to make me sleep a lot. On the other hand, panties are fucking uncomfortable and I’m not even sure I own any anymore. I could put a pad into a pair of boxers since I’m going to be barely moving? Or I could just layer a few old towels under me and give up. At least I’ve had it for a few days so it won’t be so heavy.

Now on to the things that are exciting:

Excitement #1

Not having fucking breasts, holy shit! 

As I said, I don’t like looking at my body with breasts, the way they feel when they move, the way they feel against my arms when I’m trying to sleep, they way they fit into clothing, how clothing looks on me because of them, or underboob sweat and the acne it causes. And without them, I won’t have to deal with any of that bullshit anymore!!

I’ll be able to fucking go clothes shopping and not want to burst into tears! I’ll be able to figure out what my actual preferred wardrobe aesthetic even IS and (since I asked for and received a bunch of clothing store gift cards for Christmas) I can actually BUY CLOTHES ACCORDINGLY for the first time in like 15 years (rather than just buying what’s cheapest and fits, that I don’t hate, like I have been).

Excitement #2

Sleep without dysphoria. I get dysphoria related insomnia periodically and it’s 99% of the time about my chest and how they feel against my arm or how I can’t lie on my front with them in the way or just literally that they exist, and then I get into a mental spiral about it and I can’t sleep. I am SO EXCITED to never have to deal with that bullshit again.

Excitement #3

Passing publicly. 

I have a lot of anxiety around being percieved as a woman, and despite having a short mustache and beard, I still sometimes get misgendered. Not having tits is going to help that, and it will make it way easier for me to go outside and be around people I don’t know without anxiety. 

Excitement #4

As I’ve said, my parents took a long long time to accept that I’m a guy. And while I am nonbinary, I’m on the demi-boy/trans masculine side of being nonbinary, so I still used he/him pronouns and would prefer for most people to think of me as a guy, or at least that masculine is preferable to feminine. My parents (and other people in my life outside my friend group) took a long time to use the right pronouns and the right name, and I think my parents especially only really accepted it once I was on T and started visually changing in a way they could really SEE.

So I’m basically excited for the prospect of my parents maybe fully accepting me even more than they have thus far. I don’t know if it’ll be something that I can observe, but at least it will be something I’ll feel like is happening.

Excitement #5

Spooning. Being big spoon with breasts has it’s own appeal, but I already know I’m going to enjoy it more without them.

Excitement #6

Swimming. I want so badly to be able to swim without tits. Both because I will be able to go to the beach and not be immediately misgendered, AND because swimming with tits is just... it’s honestly just uncomfortable? And I get like sand and seaweed under them?? And I hate it?? 

Excitement #7 

Looking at myself in the mirror. 

I honestly just don’t do that at this point, because it causes dysphoria. I’d really like to be able to see what I look like. If that means I decide to change other things (exercise more or get a tattoo or literally anything) then that’s cool, but mostly I just... have barely even really looked at my own body in years and I’m excited to be able to.

I have a very hard time perceiving what I actually LOOK like, in terms of overall shape as well as attractiveness or anything, because my brain hyperfocuses on my breasts and they skew the whole image. I want that to be gone, and after tomorrow... it actually finally, FINALLY will be.

Excitement #8

All the comfort foods I’m gonna get to eat while recovering. I’m looking forward to mac and cheese, baked turkey and chicken, pudding cups, egg custard, mashed potatoes, ginger ale, and ice cream. My parents are going to bring over groceries which is going to be tremendously helpful and also makes me feel sort of like a little kid being actually taken care of when I was sick, which was nice. Getting active support from my parents is a weird sort of guilty pleasure. They support me in a lot of ways, but they’re also usually busy and I’m not good at asking for support from them either, so it doesn’t often happen at this point.

Excitement #9

My fiance has TWO WEEKS OFF to take care of me, which means we get to chill out in bed for two week, playing Pokemon and Tales of Berseria (which we got for Christmas), and watching Galaxy Quest and Ever After and Pride and Prejudice (which I also asked for for Christmas), and hanging out. I’m excited for him to be able to have a nice break and I’m excited to chill out with him even if it’s while I’ll be drugged up and recovering.

And on to some things that are neither exciting nor issues:

Thing #1

I was supposed to have a noon appointment, and on Friday they called and said they’d rescheduled it to earlier in the morning? Apparently they can and do reschedule surgeries without asking the patient first?? This seems really fucked up to me, BUT I’m glad that my appointment is earlier because it gives me a better chance of being able to go home the same day.

Thing #2 

My parents are going to be there for my surgery, and then when the doctor tells us what we need to get from the drug store, my fiance is taking me home and THEY’RE going to go buy all the stuff and bring it over. That way he doesn’t have to stop at CVS on the way home with me in the car, or leave me at home to go get them. I highly recommend this for anyone who has surgery, and more than one person willing to look after them.

Thing #3

I hope I’m awake and mentally with it enough to at least listen to my DnD group the day after my surgery. I’m totally not going to be, but I hope I am. I haven’t had to miss a session yet, and I love playing DnD with these guys!

Thing #4

I hope I can at least come downstairs some to hang out around my cats and the Christmas tree before it gets taken down for the season. I love how our tree always looks, and I’ll be a little sad if I have to stay mostly upstairs for like 2 weeks and then it goes away.

Summary:

People keep asking if I’m scared or nervous or excited. And like, the answer is yes to all of those things, but maybe not how people expect. 

I’m not scared that the surgery is going to go wrong and kill or mutilate me or something. I’m scared I’ll lose nipple sensation, that laughing gas will be unpleasant, and that my cats are going to think I don’t like them anymore for the next three weeks.

I’m not nervous that I’ll get scars or won’t be satisfied with the results or something. I’m nervous that I’ll be really bored, miss DnD, and have more trouble relating to characters who have breasts after I don’t anymore.

I’m not excited to “look like a man” (whatever that means). I’m excited to go swimming, and sleep on my front sometimes, and buy new clothes, and eat comfort food with my fiance while he has two weeks off from work.

It’s a complicated thing, and very personal, and different for everyone. No one else is likely to have exactly the same experience as me. 

I just needed to get this down before I go do laundry, eat dinner, take a shower, and cuddle my cats, because I have to be at the hospital in 12 hours. And I’m nervous, and scared, and excited. 

[mysplaced-pen]

This might be a bit heavy but: headcanons for the RFA ++ with a nonbinary mc on a day they just want to run into the hills and scream because on that day they are feeling super dysphoric and being misgendered all over the place? Feel free to choose how out MC is to the characters (from not even out to their partner to out to all of them and it's all coming from other people.) Sincerely, an anxious nb person who is to scared to come out to even people they know would be accepting.

hi there, anon! sorry this took a while, but thank you for trusting me with this request! i’ll try my best to do this right. and know that it’s alright that you’re not ready!! take all the time you need. how you feel is what’s important and you can come out whenever you feel ready. or if you don’t want to, you don’t have to! ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

the rfa++ and i love you~ hope you like it!

zen

they were really uncomfortable at first, especially with zen

it wasn’t entirely his fault since they never met before and seven introduced mc by what was on their records

so, yeah. the rfa had been misgendering them for a week now

thing is, mc never told them they were nonbinary

they knew it wouldn’t be a problem - they all knew seven was genderfluid and all of them were totally accepting 

but they didn’t yet

and now they were on their way to zen’s house 

they were glad for the chance to see him and cheer him up, but they weren’t prepared for the misgendering that was bound to happen

the worst part is that they were already feeling super dysphoric

maybe they’d tell him tonight….or maybe not

too late to think more about it, they pulled up to the house 

zen opened the door, automatically smiling, “mc!” 

maybe they wouldn’t 

but then zen started calling them “princess” which was a really cute nickname, but it did not ease their dysphoria at all

it was on the roof that they broke

zen told them his life story, about how he felt about their connection

and about how “men are wolves, including me, and that he didn’t want to ruin a cute girl” 

mc couldn’t handle it anymore and just went, “but im not a girl”

*cue zen’s confused stare* “what-” “i’m not a guy either, zen”

he’s relieved, but more confused. “what do you mean, mc?”

“i don’t- those terms-” *sigh* “i’m nonbinary. i don’t identify as either a girl or boy and being called one by all of you has been driving me crazy-”

zen takes their hand, “oh my gosh, i’m so sorry mc! we’ve been making you feel uncomfortable this entire time! you don’t have to tell the others if you don’t want to, but i promise i’ll still do my best to cheer you up.” 

mc is kind of surprised

“oh, uh…do you use ‘they/them’ pronouns?”

mc is even more surprised, but nods 

“alright, just making sure, love” immediately switches nicknames what a catch 

he refers to them by their proper pronouns for the rest of the night, doesn’t use princess as a nickname anymore, and when he does mess up, he feels so bad and apologizes 10 times minimum

yoosung

people knew mc was nonbinary, but the rfa didn’t know 

the ‘but im not a girl’ option in the prologue? yeah.

so all this misgendering mc was really starting to get to them

they’ve thought of telling the rfa, but things have gotten so weird with zen breaking his ankle, to the stalker, plus the hacker

mc thought it wasn’t the right time

but one day, they couldn’t take it anymore

it was the day yoosung asked them to be his ‘pre-girlfriend’

they called him right after that

“oh, mc! i was just thinking about you..” he said, making mc smile

“hey, yoosung. i was thinking about you too. and i, uh, i have to tell you something”

“anything, mc.” “can you please not call me your girlfriend?”

oh wait. there might have been some misunderstanding there…

“oh…o-of course. i mean, now i’m kind of glad i asked in a ‘pre’ way..”

“no no no, i still want to date you, yoosung! that just came out wrong-”

“..then what did you mean?” “i meant, i don’t like the term ‘girlfriend’. i’m non-binary.” 

there’s silence for a bit before yoosung speaks again

“you scared me! I thought I made the biggest mistake of my life!”

“oh my god, that’s not it at all!” 

“of course i won’t call you my girlfriend! do you like ‘partner’ better? or…’date mate’?” 

“hm..i’m not really sure, actually..”

“no no, i got one” “what is it, yoosung?”

“i’ll call you ‘my love’.” 

jaehee

today was not the day for this

the cafe was loaded today, it was one of their biggest days of the month!

but all these new customers meant all these people saying “thank you ma’am” and “hello miss!” to mc

which didn’t really get to them on a normal day, but they were already feeling the dysphoria since this morning 

and it was really slowing their progress

which is how jaehee noticed something was wrong with them

she was walking over to ask mc about it when she heard the person they were serving speak, “have a nice day, ma’am!”

ah, that’s it. 

during their break, jaehee pulls mc to the side and smiles. “let’s go outside, hun.” 

mc nods and they go outside first 

jaehee meets them with a pastry to share and two water bottles

“it’s busy today..” mc says, taking the water bottle from her

“it is. which is good for business..but not for you, huh?”

mc looks up at jaehee, who sits beside them

she leans over to kiss mc’s head 

“i know you, sweetheart. do you want to take the rest of the day off?”

“jaehee, i can’t do that. and i can’t leave you, either.” “mc, we own the cafe. it’s alright. the others can handle the work.. you’ve trained them well”

mc smiles and the two go back inside, jaehee telling the staff they were going home. mc wasn’t feeling well. and they understand

as they walk out, one of the employees calls out to them, “feel better, mc! you amazing person!”

jaehee grins. mc feels a bit better already”

jumin

mc was terrified of telling jumin

he was so exposed to the press and they weren’t ready for the questions that were bound to come 

but all of jumin’s staff - and jumin - kept calling them ‘she’ and ‘her’ 

and all of this misgendering was driving mc crazy

at this point, they wanted to yell at the staff members. but they didn’t deserve that

so they went to Elizabeth

“Elizabeth, do you think it’ll be such a big deal? will the press start more rumors? will jumin…i don’t know, change his mind about me?” they asked, petting Elizabeth

they got a ‘meow’ in return

“he would, wouldn’t he?” they sigh

“why would i change my mind about you?” jumin says and mc turns around

“honey-” “what’s wrong, mc?” 

well now they have to spill. jumin won’t let this go

“….can i get a glass of wine first?”

jumin is actually more curious than anything

he asks a bunch of questions. about pronouns, if they’re really comfortable with all the dresses he bought them. what really makes them feel dysphoric, everything.

it ends well, but there’s still the press to worry about. though jumin says that’ll be a process. as for the staff, mc says they’re willing to come out to them

the next day, mc goes to the office with jumin. and they’re a reasonable distance away from jumin so he asks one of the workers

“can you call my spouse over here?” the worker is like, “…your wife, mr. Han?” “no, my spouse.”

mc hears him and smiles 

707 / luciel / saeyoung

the door closed with a slam, followed by a loud groan from mc

saeyoung spun his chair around. “bad day, 606?” 

they walk over to him and he stands up to be engulfed in their hug

“i’m tired of people calling me a girl.” they mumble into his shoulder

he smiles sadly and strokes their hair

“ah, one of those days.” he says

“yeah..I feel like just running and screaming it out, you know?”

“we could do that, you know.” 

mc looks at him confused, but he’s dead serious

so they get in one of his cars and saeyoung drives them to a secluded place

they both get out of the car and saeyoung gestures to the empty field

“run and scream to your heart’s content, hun~”

so…mc does. 

they run to the middle of the field and just yell it out

“i wish people would stop misgendering me! i’m nonbinary, for christ’s sake!”

and they fall to sit on the ground

saeyoung walks over to them, clapping. he sits beside them

“you feel a little bit better?” they nod and move to put their head on his shoulder

“it sucks sometimes.” “you don’t need to be out now..you can be out whenever you’re ready. and we can start small.”

v / jihyun

they were out on a date, just walking around and stopping by whatever place caught their attention

and all kinds of people were misgendering mc. 

they did when they bought something, were welcomed into the store, leaving the store.

and mc was trying to have fun with jihyun, but all this was getting to them

they kept moving closer to jihyun, their dysphoria growing

he noticed pretty quickly and pulled them to whisper in their ear

“let’s go home, angel.” 

when they get home, mc sighs. “i’m sorry, jihyun”

“there’s nothing to apologize for, i want to make sure you’re comfortable.”

“but you can’t go up to everyone who talks to me, love”

“i can if i try hard enough.”

jihyun please

“but for now…i can make you a cup of tea and tell you how much i love you. that you’re the most wonderful person i know…”

mc starts blushing. “V-” “yes, my nonbinary angel?”

“jihyun-” “just you watch, my love”

he keeps true to his word, with mc’s consent of course, and tells everyone who talks to mc

saeran

“ah, there she is. rfa’s princess.” he says, after breaking through the window

mc visibly winces 

“don’t worry. i won’t hurt you..for now. i’m here to take you to paradise.”

“no, that’s not it at all, look-”

lmao mc isn’t even scared

“what?-” saeran starts to ask

“can you maybe not…refer to me as a princess? and not use ‘she’ pronouns?”

saeran blinks. “what?”

“i’m nonbinary.” “….can you explain that?”

they end up having a talk in the apartment instead of saeran taking them anywhere

and saeran learned a lot. he understands, asks questions, and makes sure he’s getting their pronouns right

“…have you told the rfa?” “….no”

“i’m sure they’ll listen.” “weren’t you supposed to take me somewhere?”

he stands up and shrugs. “I can come back. give you time to think about if you want to tell them first.” 

mc decides to test him a bit. “come back for rfa’s ‘princess’?”

saeran smiles and shakes his head. “no…I’ll come back for rfa’s savior”

and then he leaves 

[cassolotl]

Taylor Mason

I am really excited about Taylor Mason’s appearance in Showtime’s Billions.

Here’s Showtime’s behind the scenes introduction of Taylor on YouTube, with interview snippets with the actor and the writers.

I don’t know the show at all. It is definitely not my usual genre. No one does any science or magic, you know? It’s a fast-paced businessy financey drama thing. I don’t even remember how I found out, but when I heard that Billions claimed to have the first ever nonbinary character on TV... well, to be honest, I kinda did a skeptical face. The articles are all very US-centric, and explicitly nonbinary characters are not uncommon in some parts of the world. And anyway, “nonbinary character” usually means “gender non-conforming binary character” because that’s usually the best we can hope for. But yeah, I was interested, so I looked into it.

Here’s my TL;DR: Billions is the first mainstream US TV show to my knowledge that contains a character overtly described as nonbinary and whose they/them pronouns are stated in the show and affirmed by almost all of the other characters.

We’re introduced to Taylor, played by Asia Kate Dillon (also nonbinary, they/them pronouns), in the first episode of season 2 - toying with another character about being vegan. They’re a sharp, brilliant, think-outside-the-box intern.

In episode 2 it gets a bit more in-your-face:

That guy in the second shot, Bobby Axelrod, is the very rich, very arrogant boss of macho boy’s club Axe Capital. And he just accepts Taylor’s assertion of their pronouns, no questions asked, no raised eyebrows. Just, “okay.”

Taylor proceeds to seriously impress the very rich arrogant boss guy in the chair.

Taylor isn’t going through some coming out plot, working out their gender and discovering themself. Taylor is out and comfortable and confident in their identity. People who refuse to accept them get bulldozed, either by other characters or by the plot itself.

Later in that episode there’s a scene in which Taylor isn’t present, and Taylor is misgendered by that bald guy, Bill:

It’s hard to capture the tone in this scene. It’s an alpha male showdown, over a nonbinary person’s pronouns. The arrogant guy who misgenders Taylor gets corrected, and then has two guys above him in the pecking order stare him down until he concedes, in body language and facial expression. Taylor’s rich white old guy boss is not gonna tolerate you misgendering them. (Over the next few episodes it becomes clear that Taylor is replacing Bill as Axelrod’s “favourite.”)

Bobby Axelrod upholds the pronouns of every singular-they nonbinary person in this one scene, to everyone watching the show. After that the conversation continues as before. It all happens very naturally as part of a conversational plot to take down a business rival, like it’s important and yet no big deal at all to correct a colleague’s pronouns.

There are people watching this who are nonbinary and going “wow, that’s me.” There are nonbinary people who haven’t worked themselves out watching this and going “wow, maybe that’s me?” There are parents of nonbinary kids watching this and going, “wow, maybe using new pronouns isn’t so hard? Maybe my child is not just going through a phase?” There are nonbinary kids watching this with their parents, thinking “maybe now my parents see Taylor being taken seriously they will take me more seriously.”

This is incredible.

Naturally, I have concerns. I’ve got them on the back-burner because one TV show is not a pattern among TV shows. It does, however, fit a known trend of nonbinary visibility.

Taylor is white, AFAB, thin, young, wealthy, able-bodied, and masculine-presenting. They fit the nonbinary cliché so well that I can’t even find any deviation from it. In reality nonbinary people are very diverse in pronouns, gendered presentation, race, body type, and class. But when newspapers are interviewing these “new” and fascinating nonbinary people, they always seem to choose people mostly like me: white, thin, AFAB, young, apparently able-bodied, androgynous-to-masculine-presenting. (I’ve been interviewed by journalists for articles about nonbinary people that then didn’t even include me in the final piece, because I refused to be seen as a representative of nonbinary people in some way.)

Taylor is also autistic. I don’t know if it’s deliberate, goodness knows writers create accidentally autistic characters all the time, but if you know what to look for in TV-autism it’s really really clear. And people really like to draw attention to the way autism and gender non-conformity overlap, to the extent that articles have been written by and focusing on doctors who believe that some gender non-conformity is directly caused by autism and should not be treated. (Article link. Warning: Daily Mail, general awfulness, etc.)

So going forward, I’m hoping that if and when there are more nonbinary people in TV shows we get to see some femininity, some differing body types, some people of colour, etc. I’m also hoping that we get to see some nonbinary people who are not obviously autistic - characters who express emotion freely and are not somehow brilliantly sharp and intelligent and innovative in one particular area of interest, for example.

But for now, I am thrilled. A TV show is portraying someone like me. In this case I’m lucky because I fit that autistic nonbinary cliché down to the ground, and I am perfectly represented in a mainstream US TV show for the first time in my life. I want other nonbinary people to experience that too, and this is a huge step forward and a long-deserved validation of the nonbinary community. I am excited to see what happens next for nonbinary representation and visibility.