#a proper reaction to finding your home was destroyed because your friend wanted to protect you from your teacher

[kessielrg]

‘he was a lot stronger than he looked’ I write, when a scene or two before that the same character drives an actual sword into stone out of anguish.

bonus because that latter bit includes the awesome line ‘It was a sword in the stone, and he was no longer worthy to wield it.’ because i want this chapter to HURT

[lemons3ason]

Soul Eater Omegaverse

How the alpha boys would react to you disappearing/ignoring them after a fight!

-Soul Eater Evans-

He didn’t mean to let it slip out, he didn’t mean to say that your compulsive reactions made you weak and would get you killed just like your mother but he did and now he hadn’t seen you after making you whimper for the first time. He got a well deserved slap in the face for saying what he said and just stood there like an idiot as you ran away. He hadn’t seen you since then and his inner Alpha roared at him for making his sweet beautiful omega cry, today marked the eleventh day since he had seen you and he was suffering withdraw. Maka had washed his clothes removing your sweet syrupy scent from them and it was driving him crazy.

“Soul you’re growling again.”, Maka warned continuing to read her book.

The bone haired scythe groaned in annoyance slamming his head against the wood of the desk as a defeated sigh escaped his throat. You hadn’t answered any of his calls or messages, you hadn’t been to class, hell you weren’t even home when he tried to go see you. As lunch time came around the halls were suddenly flooded by gossiping students, Soul immediately caught a whiff of your sweet scent. It was weak but without a doubt it was his (Y/n), his pupils dilated in joy to the thought of seeing you but even as he pushed through the crowd of students he soon realized just how grave his mistake was. You were covered in cuts and dried blood but the look on your face made it obvious that you were suffering an omegan depression.

“W-what happened? What happened to (Y/n)?!”, He growled lunging at your weapon partner who protected you until another member of your pack slammed their elbow into the middle of his back momentarily immobilizing him.

“An Alpha that causes an omega to go into depression isn’t a proper Alpha at all. If you want to talk to her you’ll wait your turn like the rest of us until Stein checks her injuries.”, Your Alpha friend, Serenity, growled ushering (Y/n) and her partner to the nurses office.

Soul remained silent yet persistent the rest of the day, he wouldn’t leave the door of the nurses office even as your pack mates threatened him and waited patiently for them to allow him in. Your partner was the only one to fill him in on what had happened to you, after the fight you had gone into a depression and you wanted to prove that your impulsiveness wouldn’t get you killed but with your mind not at 100% during the fight you were almost easily defeated if it hadn’t been for soul resonance.

“So she was pretty close to getting to see her mom again. She would’ve liked that but we’re to stubborn to let her go just yet.”, He sighed leaning against the wall next to Soul.

“She wanted to prove herself to me...Death why am I such an idiot. She’s already better then me why did I have to go saying something so stupid when I didn’t really mean it!”, Soul growled to himself slamming his fist into the wall out of frustration.

“Rio, it’s time for us to go. Stein’s kicking us out.”, Serenity sighed emerging with the other six members of your pack, “I hope she breaks things off with you you were never a proper alpha for her to begin with.”

As soon as your pack mates were gone Soul rushed into the office to see your body balled up on one of the infirmary beds. Soul sighed as Stein scooted past him on his chair and took a seat next to your exposed hand. He softly traced his fingertips to your knuckles to see if you’d react but you didn’t, he took your hand in his and softly kissed your knuckles as he began to speak to you.

“(Y-y/n)...Hey shortcake...what happened? Why’d you go and disappear on me? I’ve missed you, you know that? Come on (Y/n), talk to me please.”, Soul whimpered rubbing your wrist against his cheek in an attempt to scent you.

You gently pulled your hand away and hid it under the sheets with the rest of your body before your shaky soft voice emerged from the sheets, “I’m weak just like you said.”, that’s what drew the line for him. Soul’s inner alpha was furious with him, his urge to comfort you and apologize took over. He was aggressive yet careful as he pulled the sheets off of you and revealing your pale form and although you wanted to hide Soul wouldn’t let you. He spooned you immediately kissing away at your forehead as he smothered you in his sweet strawberry like scent. Even if you wanted to escape you were basically engulfed by your alpha. You tried to pull out of his grip but you were to weak and he wouldn’t let you. He lifted up your face so you could see him and kissed your lips sweetly as his hands wandered over your frame. He would appease your omega no matter how he had to do it wether through physical touch, word, or actions he would apologize to you and gain back your trust that he lost for saying something so careless and stupid.

“Soul.”, you whimpered shuddering as his hands rubbed your thighs.

“(Y/n),my mega, my mate, my absolute love of my life I’m sorry, I know what I said can’t be taken back but I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I made you this upset. I’m not letting you go or leaving until you accept my apology or at least tell me what I can do to redeem myself. I’m sorry I’m such a terrible alpha, I miss you so much it hurts to be away from you any longer.”, Soul cried, he never cried in front of you, wet hot tears spilled from his eyes as he rubbed his forehead atop yours. You didn’t respond you just held him, you held his face in your hands and softly kissed his desperate lips in an attempt to please his alpha but it wasn’t enough. You both just needed each other and for now that was enough until you got better. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Black ⭐️ Star

It wasn’t rare for you both to argue, you were both just naturally competitive and that’s what he loved about you. He was competitive because he wanted to prove that even he could defeat a god. (Y/n) was competitive because she hated Omegan stereotypes and wanted to prove that she was a capable fighter to everyone, so why did this argument over another alpha complimenting your strength end so horribly. Black Star had hit a breaking point due to several recent defeats and seeing another Alpha make you smile destroyed what little restraint and patience he had left. He tried attacking the other Alpha but you stopped him...you stopped him and Omega, that was all it took to send him into a fury. Things were said that shouldn’t have been said but worst of all he had used your second gender status against you. After screaming at you he seemed to settle down but the guilt from his words flooded him immediately and you left before he could find the right words to apologize.

“(Y/n) your scent is weak on my scarf can you please scent it, I’ll scent your sweat-“

“Leave me alone. An omega beneath you shouldn’t even be in your presence remember?”, you responded coldly making Black Star stop in his tracks.

After the fight you chose to ignore him, if he didn’t need you then why would you need him? Your pack mates provided you enough attention to stay positive and happy as an omega so you didn’t need him but Death did he need you. He knew he was annoying you he could tell by the sour tone your scent took when you noticed him but he wanted to apologize for being a dumbass. If this kept up then you’d move on and another alpha would scoop you up and steal you away or worse mark you and leave him alone forever.

“(Y/n)...(y/n) I’m sorry I-I didn’t mean to-I...It’s just that I-“, he tried to find the right words but your weapon partner had pulled you away from him and rushed to the women’s bathroom to hide.

This silent treatment was driving Black Star insane, he hadn’t seen you in two weeks already and it was driving him mad. He would cry himself to sleep every night as your scent slowly faded from his belongings. Black Star couldn’t handle this anymore you were so much more stronger if this wasn’t torture for you like it was for him. During dinner his emotions seemed to finally escape him.

“Black Star we’re going on a mission with Kid and Maka try to get some sleep so-“

“Tsubaki I don’t want to fight anymore.”, Black Star admitted as tears spilled from his eyes.

Tsubaki’s heart stopped to the very sight of her miester breaking down, separations between alpha and omega pairs always affected the individual parties differently but she didn’t know it would have this much of an effect on her poor miester. She was fed up seeing you both in so much pain, you were stupid for being so stubborn and hiding away from him, and he was stupid for starting the fight and crying over it instead of pushing to apologize properly! The raven haired teen sighed and stood to her feet and quietly left without another word. Black Star just cried over his food before returning to his ridiculously cluttered room. Losing you had made him lose all drive to do anything, what was he to do now that you seemed to be leaving him. He sat in his bed wrapped up in his blankets while staring up at the ceiling replaying the argument in his head again and again...why did he have to be such an idiot?

He heard a soft knock at his door and thought it was Tsubaki so he ignored it, but then he heard another knock and this time a voice, “H-hey Star...you there?”, your voice sounded from the other side of his door but he just though it was his imagination.

“Alpha I’m here.”, you called again the scent of cinnamon rolls poured into his room from his door and he quickly realized that you were there.

You could hear thumping and stomping from behind the door and stepped back as the door swung open revealing your exhausted mate. Tsubaki had dragged you to the house after finding you crying over Black Star in your room and yelled at you to stop being thick headed and stubborn since you were both suffering. You opened your mouth to say something but the moment his hands cupped your cheeks, his lips met yours, and his addicting scent of pine tree and fresh rain flooded your scenes you knew he truly meant that he was sorry. He slowly pushed you back into the wall pressing his body close to yours as he kissed you silly. Finally being able to enjoy your scent and touch you brought a new batch of tears to his eyes and he kissed you like it would be his last.

“B-black mmm Black Star...mmmn~ Black Star listen to me.”, you panted between kisses trying to get his attention.

He was afraid you would tell him something he didn’t want to hear so he didn’t want you to talk. ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘Please don’t leave me’ and ‘I love you’ spilled from his lips between each kiss as he desperately tried to apologize to you.

He opened his mouth to say something new but it was the same thought on both of your minds, “I’ve missed you.”, you both sighed.

Black Star’s heart was beating like a drum against your chest as he pressed himself closer to you. You had both finally made up and he refused to make the same mistake again because being separated from you was a worse torture then death itself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Death the Kid

Just for a moment you were reminded that you weren’t good enough for Kid...your insecurities had resurfaced the moment you saw him smiling and dancing with that other omegan girl during the ball. Even when you tried to talk to him about it the other party guests wouldn’t give you two time alone but the final straw was when Kid himself said, “(Y/n) you’re such a needy omega can’t you see I’m busy.”, he’s said it to you many times before as a joke but today you knew he truly meant it by how cruel and rude he was.

“Oh and who might you be little dear? Do you know young master Death?”, one of the guests asked you.

You simply smiled and shook you head much to Kid’s surprise, “My apologize I’m simply another desperate omega making a fool of herself.”, you hummed dipping into a small curtsy before disappearing from sight.

You had made your nest at the Gallows Manor so Kid expected to see you there after the Ball since you seemed upset but you were no where in sight. He called for you through every room in the huge mansion but not once did he get a response or a clue to where you could’ve been. It worried him sure but it was just a party that couldn’t have upset you that bad right? He went to sleep without you that night your side littered in fluffy toys and pillows in hopes that he’d find you buried in a fort of them the next morning but still there was nothing.

“Liz, Patty, has (Y/n) contacted either of you? She didn’t come home last night.”, Kid explained a worried expression etching itself over his face as he started to panic.

“Nope she didn’t call me.”, Patty answered.

“I don’t have anything.”, Liz replied.

“Well without a doubt she’ll be at school. Sebastian is in rut right now so I know her team hasn’t been dispatched on any missions.”, he huffed summoning Beelzebub to get to school earlier in hopes of finding you.

He asked all of his friends and yours to try and find you but still there was no sight of you. Until he discovered that Crona and Team Cerberus had been dispatched on a mission together. He couldn’t believe it, you never once left without asking him to scent your belongings or without a warning so why did you do it now?

“Kid?”, a voice called drawing his attention.

The young reaper’s heart dropped seeing your weapon partner right before him, why was Sebastian here when you were out on a mission? You had no weapon for this A-rank mission this had to be a joke!

“W-why aren’t you with (Y/n)?”, he stuttered reaching for your partner’s collar as his anger boiled, “Why are you here while she’s out there?”

“Because I was in Rut I couldn’t go with her. At least I couldn’t until she snapped me out of it.”

“What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean ‘she’ knocked you out of rut?!”, Kid growled.

Kid’s rage was settled the moment he caught a whiff of your scent, Kid was hypersensitive to any change in scents and the burning scent of rubber that was lightly hunted with your usual calm honey apple scent was utterly heartbreaking.

“W-what is this?”, he stuttered shaking as he removed the jacket from his face.

“She came to me crying last night...saying something along the lines of ‘He looked happier with her’ and ‘I was right I’m not good enough for him’ and my favorite bit ‘Who wants to be with an needy omega that has no self confidence?’ Kid I don’t know what you did but for (Y/n)’s sadness to be able to knock me out of rut and trigger my instincts to protect her then whatever you did to her last night might’ve been enough to trigger her into depression. You’re an asshole to not have noticed that (Y/n) never thought of herself as good enough to be your partner.”, Sebastian growled putting his jacket back on.

Kid’s body was shaking, not from anger but from guilt and worry. He didn’t bother staying much longer and ran to the entrance of the school. Once again he summoned Beelzebub and raced to Spain to stop you from getting hurt, he didn’t know! He didn’t once think you would think so poorly of yourself he loved you dearly so he never believed that his love was never enough for you to see what he see in you. You wouldn’t answer his calls so he didn’t bother calling but he knew Crona would! As soon as they did he begged them to put you on the phone or at least get close to you so he could explain himself. He cried his heart out into his phone but still you wouldn’t respond. Crona had to turn down the volume on their end just to keep from drawing attention from the other train passengers but you barely seemed to respond to anything Kid said.

“(Y/n) you’re perfect! You’re perfect because you’re imperfect, you to good to be mine but I can’t dare think of a day going by without you by my side. You’re always there for me when I’m upset, you’ve always been by my side to make me smile or kiss me good morning! (Y/n) I’m sorry I know I was acting out of line yesterday night but if I had known that you weren’t being needy and that you just felt self conscious then I would’ve listened! I would’ve scooped you up and taken you home and laid with you in bed reminding you why you’re so beautiful and perfect for me! I would’ve talked about the future that I want with you as my mate and my wife, you didn’t have to run away from me!”, Kid cried feeling overwhelmed by just how much space separated you from him.

He had to stop, he had to catch his breath, he felt his lungs burning from screaming and from hyperventilating but he had to keep going.

“(Y/n) please just don’t do this. This isn’t going to be an easy mission and you don’t have a weapon please don’t do this.”, he whimpered into the phone hopping that his begging would be enough to stop you.

“I don’t want to see you.”, he couldn’t even register your voice or the fact that you hung up after that. His body was frozen like stone from just the sickened tone of your voice.

He screwed up...he royally screwed up. As if he couldn’t push his powers more then he already had he pushed past his limit, he had to get to Spain and fast! He still had 3800 miles to reach you and he wasn’t going to let you go through with this even if you were mad at him. Even as tears poured from his lifeless golden hue he wouldn’t let his heart forget this pain even after he got you to forgive him. He reached Spain by nightfall and searched for your soul wavelength until he found it in the city of Pamplona, but the mission had already begun he saw the bull like kishin egg charging at your teammates and searched only for you. Until the creature was shot dead by a Barrett M-82 rifle, much to his surprise you were the miester wielding the weapon. You released your temporary weapon partner so they could collect the soul and collapsed to the floor of the rooftop as your fever finally set in.

“(Y/n)!”, Kid screamed drawing everyone’s attention as he raced to your side, he pulled your body close to his and frowned feeling your intense fever from your skin.

“An omegan depression.”, he frowned growling to himself as he held you closer. Your pack mates arrived to get you but the murderous glow in Kid’s eyes kept everyone at bay.

No one would touch you until he pulled you out of depression and no one would see you until he apologized and was forgiven by you.

[bunchofstraydogs]

Dazai Osamu character breakdown as I understand him

Meaning that this might be inaccurate and your opinion and visage of him might differ from mine, which is just fine. We perceive the world and the people around us through our experiences and expectations. I'm curious to know how you guys see a complex character like Dazai, just please respect everyone's opinions.

Warning: Manga plot mentions, s2 spoilers, BEAST light novel spoilers, Dazai Osamu

Dazai Osamu was introduced into the scene of Bungou Stray Dogs at 14 when Mori found him.

Even at that young age, Dazai had suicidal tendencies and had been wrapped in bandages similarly as he is in the present. Already dealing with too much trauma for a child his age, the fire is fuelled as he was forced to bear witness to the death of the Port Mafia boss at the hands of Mori, the person that took him under his wing. To use him; which was becoming very apparent to Osamu if he hadn't been aware since the start. Now, I'm not saying that death of the previous boss left a particular scar on Samu, he even agrees with it and is something he himself would have done. But that that is the scene that bore fruit of the following quotes:

"Or could it be that you're afraid, Mori-san? That one day i will slit your throat and take over as the boss?"

followed by

"Everyone seems suspicious to those who have an axe to grind."

This tells us right away that he can tell what type of person you are just from the way you perceive your surroundings, which is logical, but not something many think too deep into.

Even less who have their evaluations of others on point like he does. And he has to, since Dazai's plan is always to understand his allies, his enemies, possible allies and possible enemies. He also takes into account important neutral parties that can still, in one way or another, affect the outcome of his plans or decide to align with one side out of common interest. After comes realising the main goals, along with side achievements (just in case some of those maim his allies or ruin the future plans he made) of every party. Taking in their morals and motivation, and being familiar with the ground the confrontation will happen on, he now has the view of the whole chess board and it's pieces in his head. He moves his allies in the right places, knowing how they'll react in the situation to come, and awaits the enemies with open fire arms. He was tought to think like that. At all times. Mori made sure of it. You know how specialists never really stop thinking in their areas of expertise, like doctors, for example, will naturally notice people's posture and look for scoliosis or whatever? How your foot hits the floor, if you're walking straight, your knees and shoulders, etc. Same for Dazai. His brain maps out person's expressions, reactions, choices, personality, etc. in great detail. I'm pretty sure he has eidetic memory, if his conversations in manga with Fyodor are anything to go by.

Another thing his brain does is think of worst possible outcomes.

Not in a fear of what if things go wrong, but as a possible route. He uses it to determine how big of a threat the opposing force is and what steps they'll have to take to achieve that. Knowing that, he'll know how to intercept them. Also, like everything else, it's not something he can control since we're talking about thought process here and that's just how his brain works. Can't magically turn that off. It's especially annoying to him when he's genuinely enjoying himself with, let's say, ADA members and then his brain goes brrr.

•"A lot happened recently and we're a torn in many people's eyes." *Tanizaki and Atsushi drinking punch* "There's a possibility, while a small one, about 8% at this very moment, but as time goes on will increase, that an organisation outside of Yokohama decided we're an unavoidable threat and poisoned the drinks. Don't drink that. Nothing will happen, they'll wake up tomorrow in pristine condition don't drink th-"

Yeah, i feel bad for him too.

He has PTSD and insomnia, besides the hectic brain,

so he's not getting proper amount of rest. Actually, he drinks almost every night by himself at home. Pretty sure it's canon as well, because if you search for a picture of him in his room, you'll see him surrounded by multiple bottles. Two of the PTSD symptoms are hallucinations and night terrors (no, that is not the same as a nightmare). What people usually do is use opium to cause hallucinations in a safe environment so that there's little chance of them happening uncontrolled. He's probably using alcohol to numb himself while he's reminiscing, since if he does still have hallucinations after years having passed by (which isn't impossible), they're probably few and far between. Not saying there's no chance he isn't using opium. He would know where to get what he needs, after all.

Osamu's haunted by his own actions as well, not just by trauma caused to him.

At an uncountable amount of occasions, he found himself looking into a mirror and not really comprehending his image. It was like dissociation. Looking through a fog at what's supposed to be your carbon copy, but not knowing all of your features perfectly, so whatever you're seeing could only be an impostor, yet you're not sure because that would take comprehending physical proof of your life to the fullest and how it works and he just... can't. He can but he doesn't want to. He already knows he's despicable and broken, doesn't really feel the need to see just how much. He can't, for all his perfect memory, remember the faces of the people he has killed. He hadn't even seen all of them, but he was responsible for their demise. Causing havoc and misfortune in general through other crimes besides murder as well. We've seen his expression when he listened in on Atsushi talking to Kyouka over the earpiece how the 35 deaths don't matter anymore. He knows they do and he knows that the change of heart won't justify what he's they've done. Ango thought him to value each life. But he also knows that even murderers can change and become good. Oda did that. It's also what's keeping him in the agency.

When Oda died, his last words mentioned that Dazai doesn't care about good or bad and that was correct for Dazai Osamu back then. I genuinely think that his present self does mind the difference.

He believes in necessary evil and will do dark shit to get the good outcome he's envisioned.

He doesn't separate outlaws and lawful people, however.

He knows that generally speaking, the line is thin and easy to cross and that many were born or forced into the situations they are. Those that fight the life thrown at them are an exception, not a rule. That's also why he likes Atsushi, probably the main reason. The boy has every right to hate the world and yet. Dazai is envious, he doesn't really have the same capacity.

I want now to talk about why does Dazai Osamu do what Dazai Osamu does.

The reason he attempts suicide, joined the mafia, made friends at all, is because for all his intelligence and observations, ability to understand others, he doesn't really understand himself.

He doesn't understand his worth. He doesn't understand his purpose. In all of that confusion, he finds no reason to live. He laughs but can't get the high, he bruises but can't fully heal. In all of the things people find happiness in he can't feel joy from. He is emotionally stunted. He thinks too logically. He doesn't understand actions out of emotions because to him, it doesn't make sense. Emotions cloud your mind and when you're not thinking straight, you make mistakes. Plain and simple. He just accepts it, that most people simply cannot control themselves and prefer lashing out instead of methodical approach. All the better for him, he has leverage. Even when he does act on impulse, which is incredibly rare and not as explosive and dramatic, his brain rationalises it as to why his actions were a good way to go. And if his reaction was one that bore fruit, than it was a tactical one.

"If you place yourself somewhere close to raw emotions, where you're exposed to raw violence and death, instinct and desire, you can brush against man's true nature. I though that way i could find a reason to live somehow."

From this, i can tell that he was hoping that, in a situation where he's pushed far enough, he'd realise what's important to him, what he wants to protect or destroy, what's one thing he wouldn't want to leave unsettled before dying. What is that one thing he'd regret dying before achieving? What should he fight death for. What is worth living on for? To him, it doesn't matter if that something is good or evil as long as he gets to keep it in his life.

It seems he hadn't found it exactly, but is satisfied with what he has for now, in the agency, to just keep going. But he still tries to commit suicide, hoping that one day, when the clear picture of the world around him is fading away, when he's becoming light headed from the lack of oxygen, when he's loosing control over his body and thoughts don't seem to flow well, there will be one thing, anyone, screaming at him to fight it. New day new chances. It didn't happen today, better luck tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomo-.

Now, like Mori, Dazai feels the need to, at all times, be in control of the situation. Including people.

That means no one, but perhaps Ranpo due to his own abnormal intellect, is aware of their own role. They know their mission, but they're not expecting to be given that particular one because they'll come across an obstacle they would react to in a way that would satisfy Osamu's plans.

Dazai Osamu is more of a chemist, than a chess player, if you ask me.

Throwing different people into the mix, under different conditions at different times and is noting down their reactions in safe surrounding if possible, so that when the time calls for it, he'll be able to make a perfect concoction for the predicament. A chemist and his substances; A chess player and his pawns; A puppeteer and his puppets. Now, Dazai is meticulous and never rash, but like everyone else (except effin Lovecraft what is he even) he's only human and he bleeds when he falls down and humans aren't perfect. He isn't always right. That means he makes mistakes. The issue with big shot players that control the board is that, when they fall down, everyone on their side crashes and burns as well. So the day Dazai fucks up everyone else will follow because of lack of insight on their part that's completely out of their control. All it takes is for him to underestimate or overestimate one person and chaos ensues. There is no such thing as happy little accidents small mistakes for someone like him. I have crippling anxiety and a sole thought that one hiccup could blow up in everyone's face... damn. I would try committing suicide myself. But it's his fault, he brought upon himself an obligation and pressure like that. To be fair, it was Mori that drilled that type of thinking where no one should know what you plan because they can't ruin what they don't know If they turn against you, they can't stop you.

For his own sake, and everyone else's, Dazai needs to learn how to show his cards and share the burden.

Again, going back to the emotionally stunted guy that has commitment issues (where he either can't commit or can't let go) trope.

He never outright does something good for someone where people would acknowledge it, he uses his underhanded tactics here as well.

He casually makes himself look like a bad guy, an asshole, to conveniently move attention from the inner turmoil a person is struggling with to a present problem at hand that they can fix and let their frustrations out on. But he hopes that, one day, someone just might notice his intentions for what they are and do the unspeakable- see through him.

"I'm a very private person. You don't ask, i don't tell."

Yes, and your whole existence is just a huge cry for help. He wants to be asked. He's begging for attention. A specific type of attention. One that will see him without making him feel imposed on. One that will understand his sins without making a big deal out of it. Accept him as a person he is, makes him feel like one as well. Makes him feel alive. Makes him feel... period.

The day he finds that thing is the day he completely turns his life around and fully dedicates to it. It's where the part of not being able to let go commitment issue ensues.

Since Oda's death he's been secretly keeping an eye out on possible ways to bring him back. If you've read Beast AU you know that when Dazai gets his hands on the book, he'll create a universe where Oda doesn't die. Should he find an ability user that can bring back the dead, just tell him what it will take, he's ready to destroy his own soul for it and if that isn't enough, well, he'll have no hesitation ruining theirs. After all, BEAST!Dazai Osamu never actually met Odasaku, he just had the memories he'd gotten from his canon self and that was enough for him to do everything he did.

He's incredibly selfish and has a weird come in but the door is a wall dynamic he rolls with in his self imposed solitude.

It's like the walls of the space in my brain are ugly and terrifying, so i closed off the entrance to keep myself in. I'm doing you a favour but please break the wall down and tell me it's okay to come out i don't want to be here-

Happy little thoughts woah woah yeah~

That's what i got from what I've seen of him. I may have missed some things, some things might prove to be wrong as the series progress further, but yeah.

There is, however, one more thing i want to put out here. Since Dazai was already like this before Mori found him, that begs to question as to why? What happened to him?

Now, since the characters are based on real people, is it crazy to say that Dazai Osamu has had a horrible childhood because of his father? Real life Dazai was terrified of his dad and was very intimidated by him. He always tried to stay in his good graces out of fear of punishment. Neither of his parents felt like a parent to him, actually. His father didn't care and his mother was often ill, but did care for him when she could. Both of them died eventually.

This could be the plot Kafka based Dazai's background on, but we'll have to wait and see.

[bookwormsid1015]

BNHA: This Time Around

[A Semi-CloudNight Oneshot]

“Aaahhh! It feels so good to unwind like this,” Fukukado Emi, best known as the Laughing Hero: Ms. Joke, laughs in relief as she leans forward against the bar countertop, a mug of whiskey in hand. She’s dressed in her civilian outfit, which consists of high waist blue skinny jeans and a light yellow crop top tee shirt with a bold white stripe stretching across her chest. Her mint green hair is held back in a low ponytail, and black slip-on sneakers adorn her feet; her outfit accented by  a black choker around her neck and three beaded bracelets coating her right wrist. 

Joining her at their favorite bar is Tatsuma Ryuko (Ryukyu), Takeyama Yuu (Mt. Lady), and Kayama Nemuri (Midnight). Nemuri’s rosy red lips tilt upwards into a sly smile, and she raises her glass of red wine to her lips. Unlike Fukukado, Nemuri is dressed to impress, with her beautiful dark blue dress fading to a vibrant pink as it travels down towards the helm of her dress, perfectly matching her light complexion. Black three inch heels adorn her feet, and her deep indigo hair is held over her head in a messy bun, staked into place by a black pin that distinctly resembles a fox tail. 

Nemuri pushes up her crimson red glasses, still smiling. “Me too,” she agrees happily. “My agency has been so busy lately with all the League of Villain madness. It feels great to just be in the moment every now and again.”

Sitting on Fukukado’s other side, directly across from Nemuri, Takeyama stares down at her small glass of champagne, her eyebrows knitted together in exhaustion. The Giant Hero, like Ms. Joke, is dressed in casual clothing, wearing short blue jean shorts with a simple orange tank top and a single star-shaped golden necklace around her neck. Her long, wavy blond hair is tied back in a ponytail, which spirals down to her midback in beautiful platinum waves. 

“I knew starting my own agency was going to be hard, but I didn’t think it would be this hard,” Takeyama confesses, exhaustion lacing her tone. “Like, I can’t effectively take down any villains because my size destroys so much property, and I hate that my fans only seem to like me because they want me to step on them! It’s so weird! People are weird and gross!” She drops her head onto the table and groans mutely into the polished wood. “And here I thought the big city would be different from home.”

Tatsuma places a gentle hand on Takeyama’s back and pats it reassuringly. Like Nemuri, Tatsuma is dressed for the occasion in a simple yet elegant violet dress with a chain of pearls around her neck and diamond earrings in her ear. It is no surprise Ryukyu would wear such beautiful jewelry, though given her status as a dragon, Nemuri wasn’t surprised.  “Don’t worry, Takeyama. We all start off rough, but guaranteed your agency will become amazing,” the Dragon Hero encourages the blond heroine gently, and Takeyama’s shoulders only slightly relax.

Fukukado taps her chin, her dark green eyes thoughtful. “Come to think of it, aren’t you and Kamui Woods, like, a thing now? I heard his agency is successful, maybe you can talk to him about it,” she says, and Takeyama reaches across the table with frantic shushing gestures.

“Don’t say that outloud! We want to keep our relationship private! The last thing we need is the media crawling up our asses about it,” she snarls at the Laughing Hero, and Fukukado raises her hands in surrender.

“Oops! My bad!” Fukukado yelps and frantically checks around her in case anyone was listening in. Nemuri and Tatsuma make eye contact from across the table and snicker to themselves.

“Kamui Woods is a very dependable man, though,” Tatsuma adds. “I’m proud of you.”

Takeyama buries her face in her hands. “Can’t we talk about anything else?” she whines.

Fukukado’s smile returns full force, and a shit-eating grin splits across her face. “But why though? Everyone loves hearing about a good romance!” She cups her hands to her cheeks and swoons giddily. “Like, just the other day, I ran into Eraserhead at a coffee shop! It was so amazing, like something out of a romance novel!” 

Nemuri’s cerulean eyes widen slightly. “Oh yeah, he told me about that. Didn’t he leave the second he saw you?” she asks.

Fukukado’s cheeks flush red, and she chuckles awkwardly. “Oh, yeah, he did. Something about not wanting to deal with my energy or whatever. But that just makes it so much more exciting! I mean, look at him, all dark and mysterious and broody~!”

“Not to mention a total hobo who forgets to shower half the time,” Nemuri adds. The other heroines at the table chuckle.

“AND he’s the only one who I haven’t gotten to laugh yet!” Fukukado goes on, ignoring Nemuri’s remark. “One of these days, I’ll get him to laugh! If not, at least smile! Yeah, that would be amazing.”

“Why not use your Quirk?” Tatsuma asks.

Fukukado shakes her head adamantly. “He erases Quirks, remember? Besides, I don’t just wanna make him laugh! I want to really make him laugh, you know? Something authentic. Using my Quirk would just be dishonest and mean.”

Nemuri shrugs her shoulders, though a part of her is secretly relieved. She’s known Eraserhead since high school, and knowing him, the main reason he wouldn’t want to try dating Fukukado would be because he doesn’t want to be influenced by her Quirk. Then again, this is Eraserhead they’re talking about. After what happened in high school, he probably wouldn’t give her a chance either way. He has trouble enough making friends, let alone dating. The cruel reality of hero work scarred him, and the mere thought of it hurts her heart. Fear guides him, and Nemuri desperately wishes she could do something to help.

“What about you, Midnight?” Nemuri perks up, and finds the eyes of the other heroines glued on her. Fukukado leans forward eagerly, her dark green eyes sparkling like diamonds. “Do you have anyone you’re with right now? With your gorgeous looks and bedazzling personality, I’ll bet yes!”

Tatsuma casts Fukukado a significant look. “Ms. Joke, your bi is showing,” she comments, startling a laugh out of Takeyama.

Nemuri glances down at her wine glass and slowly sways it around in her grasp, watching the dark red liquid roll within its transparent chamber. Her smile becomes wistful. “I’ve had flings, but serious relationships? Nope. I haven’t had any in years. Probably not since high school,” she replies honestly.

Takeyama lifts her head, blinking at the R-Rated Hero in surprise. “What? There’s no way. Your entire aesthetic is about intimacy! Especially the sexy kind,” she gapes, and Nemuri chuckles at her reaction.

“It’s true. I haven’t had a proper boyfriend since my third year in high school, and to be honest…” Nemuri’s smile becomes bitter, and she chuckles in spite of her hypocrisy. “I don’t think I’ll ever date again. Hurts too much.”

Fukukado grimaces slightly. “Oof, was he really that bad?” she asks, and Nemuri immediately shakes her head.

“No, no. In fact, he was amazing. He was the sweetest, funniest, most loyal person I’d ever met. He cared about everyone unconditionally, and he would always go out of his way to help people. Hell, this one time, he found a kitten stuck in the rain and brought it with him to school,” she reminisces, smiling at the memory of him. Even now she can clearly see his broad, glowing smile, and the image sparks an old pain in her heart. “He was my everything. Even though we wanted different things out of life-- with him wanting to start an agency with his other friends, and me wanting to start the Midnight Agency-- we still promised we’d be together. That we'd make it work.”

Fukukado’s brows are drawing together in concern, now, and acid rises in Nemuri’s chest at the realization in her eyes. “Wait, you’re talking about him in the past tense,” she says. “What… happened?”

Nemuri’s smile falls completely, and she utters a deep sigh. “The worst,” she responds. “About fifteen years ago, we were alerted to a villain attack in Tasomiya Ward, a giant monster with the ability to stockpile power.” Tatsuma and Fukukado’s eyes widen nearly simultaneously, no doubt recognizing the event, but Takeyama blinks at Nemuri in confusion; she’s too new to the career to know. 

Her voice shudders, but still, Nemuri goes on, “All of us were there. Me, Eraserhead, Present Mic, and… him. We did everything in our power to stop the monster, but it was too big. We couldn’t do anything. I was evacuating everyone out of the area while he, Present Mic, and Eraserhead went to go stop the villain. Civilians got hurt; there’s no way to protect everyone. But he…”

The image washes over her, stealing away all her breath in an instant. She can smell the salty rain clouds, she can feel the slick pavement beneath her boots, the uncomfortable way debris clings to her sweaty skin. Above all else, she remembers rounding the corner just in time to see a cloud explode to life over a class of kindergarteners and their teacher, leaving them protected but him exposed. Their eyes made contact, and before Nemuri could do anything, before she could call out his name or take a step forward, a giant chunk of debris was upon him, and she was helpless to watch it swallow him whole.

The scene barely lasted for more than a few seconds, but she can still see it. The sickening crunch resonating through the air as his skull cracks open, the violent spray of blood from his head… She suddenly wants to throw up her wine and crumble into a ball. Old insecurities she thought she’d abandoned were suddenly creeping up the back of her mind, whispering terribly in her ears.

“Your quirk is useless. It couldn’t protect anyone, especially not your loved ones.”

“It’s because you’re so useless he’s dead.”

“Why are you even a hero?”

“Midnight?”

Nemuri snaps out of the memory and finds the other heroines looking at her in worry. She quickly realizes she’d dropped her wine glass to cover her face, and while thankfully the glass didn’t break, the wine was splattered all over the table top. It looks exactly like his blood.

“Midnight,” Tatsuma reaches out to her and gently takes her hands, leading them away from her face and gripping them tightly. Nemuri clings onto the contact, desperately wishing her hands were someone else’s. “Are you okay? Do you need a moment?”

Nemuri shakes her head slowly and slips her hands out of Tatsuma’s reach. She hates it when people look at her with those worried eyes. “It affected all of us,” Nemuri goes on. “Obviously, it hurt me. I lost my boyfriend and the guy I wanted to… but Present Mic and Eraserhead lost their best friend. Their brother.”

Fukukado shakes her head, tears springing to her eyes. “Oh, Midnight, I’m… I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to open an old wound,” she whispers in horror, and Nemuri shakes her head again, this time with more resolve.

“It’s fine, really. It gave me a horrible wake up call, that above all else, we are heroes. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Every day we go out there and put our lives on the line. We could live, we could die, but what matters most is protecting others.” She glances down at the wine spilled all over the table, and her own reflection stares back at her with wary acceptance. She sighs, long and tired. “Watching him die made me realize how easily life can be lost, how tragedy can strike in an instant. That’s why I want to embrace my youth for as long as I can, so I can live enough for both of us.” Her reflection’s lips quirk upward into a trying smile. “That way, when I die, when I can finally see him again, I can tell him about all my adventures with pride.”

Nemuri looks up and finds herself staring into the wet faces of the other heroes. Tatsuma, Fukukado, and Takeyama are all staring at their senior hero with wide, tearful eyes, and Nemuri likes to think in this moment, they felt more respect for the seasoned heroine.

Nemuri smiles back at them and wipes the tears from her eyes. “Remember that, you three,” she tells them. “Go forward knowing nothing-- not even love-- is certain, but don’t let it scare you. The world is scary, dangerous, and even cruel, but what’s most important is cherishing the people in our lives.” She raises her wine glass and what remains of the wine sloshes around in its glassy imprisonment. “To living.”

Fukukado, Tatsuma, and Takeyama look between themselves. One by one, they lift their drinks to the sky, each glass a different shape containing a different drink. “To living,” they echo, and tap their glasses together with Nemuri’s. The R-Rated Hero smiles truly, her heart swelling with pride.

Nemuri drives home alone that night.

Of course, the four heroines stayed at that bar for hours, laughing and drinking together once the shock of Nemuri’s lost-love bombshell faded away. As their senior, Nemuri only drank a few sips of her wine every now and again (although the gruesome memories made her want to get wasted out of her mind), and she allowed the other heroes to have their fun and get as wasted as they want. Takeyama and Fukukado were joking around, having a blast singing old pop culture songs together, occasionally getting Tatsuma to join in whenever the Dragon Hero got over her shyness.

Eventually, Nemuri dragged the three drunken heroines back into her car (thankful they all decided to take Nemuri’s car there and back), and she drove all the ladies home, making sure they had all their possessions with them before leaving. Once she dropped them all off at their houses and made small talk with any partners they had waiting for them, she decided to gather her wits and go home herself. Today was a long day, and she was surprised to find herself emotionally exhausted so soon.

The bar is a fifteen minute drive from her house, but as soon as she leaves her car and strides up the driveway, she pulls open the front door and steps inside her dark home. Despite it’s nice size, being a two story house with multiple bedrooms and bathrooms, only Nemuri lives in it, though she’s not completely alone.

“Meow!” Nemuri looks down, and her heart lifts slightly as her tabby orange cat comes bounding over to her, high in energy despite his age. Nemuri kneels down to collect him in her arms, and she cradles the cat like a baby.

“Hello, Sushi-baby,” she coos at him as she kicks the front door shut and locks it behind her. “How are you doing? Were you keeping the house safe from big bad strangers while I was gone?”

Sushi meows in response and nuzzles her bust.

The house is big and empty now, but one day, Nemuri hopes she’ll marry and settle down, maybe start a family all her own. It won’t be for a while, and honestly, Nemuri is scared to start dating out of fear of herself or her partner dying, but she decided a long time ago to live by her words so she bought the house regardless. She’s getting older now, and at thirty-two, she knows she doesn’t have much time left. At the very least, Oboro would want her to be happy, even if her happiness isn’t with him. She just hopes she can find someone accepting of her tastes and interests, like he did. 

Nemuri enters her living room and sits back in her recliner, pulling out her phone to amuse herself. Sushi immediately adjusts himself in her lap and kneads her legs with his paws, turning around in a circle before plopping down into a comfortable loaf. Nemuri scratches him behind the ears with a faint smile.

“We’ll be okay,” she says, more so to herself than to the cat.

Sushi’s lazy purring is her only response.

Nemuri leans back into her chair and sighs. Tomorrow will be a new day.

[phoebenavarro]

and on you stumble on (ch 1)

part 6 of my Jon trusting Tim s2 AU, we’ve reached the end of season 2! woo let’s go

the magnus archives, established JonTim, pre JonMarTim, 1642 words

read this part and the rest of the series on ao3 here

Jon sits, frozen, as his mind struggles to process everything. He told Tim what Melanie said about Sasha, the two Sashas, but he’d kept the rest of his little investigation to himself. It wasn’t fair to Tim, but Sasha is a delicate subject for him, and Jon wanted to be sure. And maybe, as long as he kept it to himself, it wouldn’t be real. Sasha wouldn’t have been replaced by a monster that looks nothing like her, the real her. But the time for that willful denial is over now; he knows the truth, much as he wishes he could change it. Sasha’s dead, and she has been since Prentiss.

Tim. He has to tell Tim. He deserves to know, and he deserves to help kill it.

Especially after the tapes. The tapes with the real Sasha’s voice on them. He presses play on the recorder with a shaking hand, and the voice he still can’t recognize as Sasha’s crackles through the speakers. He sits there and listens and hates himself for not figuring it out sooner. That thing hasn’t even been trying to be like Sasha, the real Sasha, and he still didn’t realize that his friend had been replaced by a monster.

He’s listening to the tape—her statement about her encounter with Michael—for a third time when the door to his office opens.

“Alright boss, you about ready to go?” Tim asks cheerfully, striding in, but he freezes when he sees the distressed look on Jon’s face. “Jon. What’s wrong?”

“I, um…” Jon says, at a loss for words.

“What happened? Did Michael come back?”

“What? No, no…” Jon sighs and rubs his eyes. He’s so tired. “No, it— it’s not that. I suppose it’s easier if I show you.” He gestures Tim over to his desk. “Do you remember what Melanie King said, about there being two Sashas?” Tim nods slowly.

“Yeah, what— did you figure out what’s going on?”

Jon sighs again. “Yes. Tim… I’m sorry.” He hands Tim the paper copies of the statements. Tim frowns, but he doesn’t say anything, he just starts reading. Jon tries not to stare at him while he reads, heartbroken for him and a little bit terrified for how he’s going to react. Jon’s own grief for Sasha hasn’t hit him yet, he’s too preoccupied with thinking about what they’re going to do now. He’s got a plan forming, but that will entirely depend on what Tim wants to do.

Tim sets the papers down and rubs his eyes. “Fuck,” he swears quietly. “That’s it, then. She’s dead,” his voice is disturbingly flat, and Jon aches to reach out to him, to comfort his boyfriend, but Jon’s never seen him like this.

“I’m sorry,” Jon says, because he doesn’t know what else to say.

“When did it happen?” Tim asks.

“I uh… It seems like it was during the Prentiss attack, when she got separated from Elias and ran into Artifact Storage.” Tim breathes in sharply and swears again under his breath.

“She hated Artifact Storage,” Tim says quietly.

“I know.”

“Or are our memories of her even real? If this thing could replace her and change what she looked like in our minds, why couldn’t it completely change everything?”

“I… I don’t know,” Jon admits, “It’s certainly possible, but we can’t— we can’t start questioning every little memory. I think that’s what it wants, what it feeds on, and besides, it’s just not feasible.”

“Yeah,” Tim says quietly. Jon reaches for his hand, trying to find some way to comfort Tim, to make this news a little more bearable. Tim lets him.

“I think our memories are our own,” Jon continues, “I mean, we both remember her being different before the Prentiss attack. She… changed. We both noticed. We didn’t know why she changed, but we definitely noticed.”

Tim nods, but he doesn’t say anything, so Jon just launches into the next thing he needs to tell Tim about.

“I-I found the missing tapes,” Jon says, and he chuckles bitterly, “They were in Sasha’s desk. Not even well hidden, almost like it wanted us to find them. Finally figured out what those tapes had in common, they all had Sasha— the real Sasha’s voice on them.

Tim cocks his head. “How do you mean? I thought the monster changed pictures and recordings too.”

“Yes, but not polaroid photos, for some reason, and apparently not tape recordings.”

Tim’s breath hitches. “So, what’s on the tapes— that’s real?” Jon nods.

Tim swallows. “Can I— Can I listen to them?” he asks, and Jon’s chest feels tight.

“Y-yes, of course,” Jon says, and he starts rewinding the tape with Sasha’s statement. “I-I don’t think you want to listen to all of them, a-at least not right now, one of them is from the Prentiss attack, when it h-happened.”

“I need to know what happened, Jon,” Tim says, “I need to know how, if it was painful, if she…” Tim trails off. Jon thinks about Sasha’s scream, and he shudders.

“It was awful. I wish I hadn’t heard it. And- And I don’t think there’s much point to you listening to it if you’re just going to use it to punish yourself for not doing anything about it.” Tim glares at him, but Jon keeps his voice steady. “I know you, and I know you’re gonna blame yourself, but it wasn’t your fault.”

Tim mutters, “Yeah, right,” and he turns his head to stare at the floor.

The tape finishes rewinding, and Jon presses play without another word. They listen in silence as the Sasha on the tape tells her story, Tim gripping Jon’s hand so hard that it hurts. Jon can’t help but be hyper focused on every one of Tim’s reactions, every sharp intake of breath, every sigh, every small exhale of laughter. Jon remembers Sasha being funny, and it seems like she was. Jon notices a few tears on Tim’s face, and he pulls Tim close to put an arm around him.

When it ends, Tim wipes his eyes with his free hand.

“I still can’t believe she did something that reckless,” he says, “She was always going on about being the rational one.” Jon smiles. He moves to switch the tape out for the one where Sasha interrupted him to talk about the proper way to pronounce calliope, and he fast forwards to around the point where she walked in. Tim listens just as intently, like he’s trying to catalogue every little thing he can gleam about the real Sasha from these tapes. Then the Jon on the tape resumes reading his statement, and they let it play out in the quiet of the office.

Eventually, the tape ends, and Jon stops it. Jon looks to Tim expectantly, but Tim is staring at the wall with a far-away look in his eyes.

“What are we going to do about that- that thing pretending to be Sasha?” Tim asks, finally breaking the silence.

“Ah,” Jon says, “I’ve been thinking about that. It’s tied to the table, so it seems like destroying the table will kill it, or at least weaken it.”

Tim nods slowly. “Makes as much sense as anything else around here.” He runs a hand through his hair. “When?”

“Tonight? After everyone’s gone home, artifact storage will be empty.”

Absently, Tim presses a kiss to Jon’s hand. “I’m not letting this go, by the way. I want to listen to all of those tapes. But… Maybe you’re right. Maybe now isn’t the best time.”

“That’s reasonable, I suppose,” Jon replies.

Tim stares off into space again for a few minutes, clearly thinking, before he speaks again.

“Should we tell Martin? In case something happens?”

“No,” Jon says immediately, and he can’t ignore the panic that rises in his chest when he thinks about getting Martin involved in this, “No, he’ll insist on staying to help and I won’t put him in any more danger.”

Thankfully, Tim agrees. “Yeah,” he says, “He’ll be pissed when he finds out, though.”

Jon thinks back to the stern lecture Martin had given them on trust, on treating him like an adult, and when he thinks about how Martin is going to react when he finds out, he does feel guilty. Just this, he thinks, This is the last thing we’ll keep him in the dark about.

“We can deal with Martin being angry at us, if we live, but I can’t lose anyone else. It’s my job to protect you all, and I’ve already failed Sasha…”

“Hey, no—“

Jon cuts him off, “I know it wasn’t my fault, what happened to Sasha, wasn’t anyone’s fault, really, but I should have been able to protect her. And Tim, if I could, I’d send you home too, deal with this on my own.”

“Jon…”

“I know you won’t go, you’re too stubborn, and I won’t make you, because I know this is just as important to you. But I’d rather you be safe.”

“How do you think I feel?” Tim says, “That’s two of the most important people in my life, dead, and I did nothing to stop it.” Jon opens his mouth to protest, but Tim plows on, "I don’t want you to be number three, and it seems like, as Archivist, you’ve got a target painted on your back. I also know that you’re too damn stubborn not to put yourself in danger, and well, we’ve got a better chance of not dying if we do it together.”

“I certainly hope so,” Jon agrees, “Have I mentioned recently how much I love you?”

“Once or twice,” Tim replies, “I love you too. Now how exactly are we going to go about killing this thing?”

“Did you know, it is remarkably easy to buy an axe in central London?”

Tim smiles.

[akasgisrightsactivist]

Bloodied Lips

[Akaashi x fem!Reader] [Hurt/comfort] [Word count: 4.3k]

What do Akaashi’s bloodied lips taste like after he fought for your honor?

Warnings: mentions of violence, blood, injuries / wounds, strangulation / asphyxia 

A/n: This happens somewhere between his first and second year of high school. I think everyone loses their cool at some point, and I wanted to explore that situation for Akaashi. This ended up being more autobiographical than I expected.

You found him hiding in the darkness of the club’s locker room.

As the opening door let in the light from outside, it revealed the bloodied lip, a red stain trailing down his chin. That detail was enough to make your heart rush inside your chest.

You’d heard rumors and you had run to find Akaashi. But it was the confirmation of such murmurs that made your head dizzy, unable to believe that your beloved friend had gotten in such a rough fight.

He was calm and collected. He never lost his cool, never lost sight of his goals —or so you thought, because the image of the guy in front of you sitting on the floor, knees pressed against his chest, arms hugging his legs, eyes lost in the void… that image told you a story you wished you’d never witnessed.

Akaashi averted his eyes as soon as you came into the room. After all, it was a story he also wished he’d never written with his own bloody hands.

Yet, you refused to run away. There was no way you’d abandon a friend in need, and you wanted to hear the story from his own lips —surely a different tale from the ones you’d heard around the corners of the school.

It was hard to find the proper words. What could you tell a friend who had just beaten the shit out of a guy? It had been a surprise to everyone —his volleyball teammates, classmates, teachers— how Akaashi, apparently inferior in physical strength to the guy from the soccer club, had destroyed him. One of your classmates had told you about the fire in Akaashi’s eyes as he had punched the soccer player in the face repeatedly —a frenzied expression that had terrified the witnesses.

Maybe you should be afraid too, but the Akaashi in front of you wasn’t that furious beast anymore —he was a meek and ashamed shadow of his self.

You eventually chose the diplomatic option:

“What happened, Akaashi?”

He buried his face into his knees, muffling his reply:

“You already know what happened.”

His voice was almost a sob, a plea for mercy. You entered the room, shutting the door, and you crossed the space in two long strides, finding the window under which he was sitting. You opened the blinds to let the natural light get inside, but his body remained hidden in the shadows, and you squatted by his side.

There was no angle from which you could see his face, but you could now spot the several bruises over his hands, arms, and even the neck, with bloody scratches here and there.

It had been a brutal fight.

“I want to hear it from you, Akaashi.”

You saw his head shake as a negative, his shoulders announcing a sob. Unconsciously, your hand found the space between his shoulder blades, and he winced —unworthy of your touch.

So you stood up, and crossed the room all the way back to the door. He held a sob, listening —expecting you to leave now.

But instead you opened the first-aid cabinet that hid behind the locker room door, and got out cotton, alcohol, and band aids.

As you made your way back to his side, you imagined the steps that had taken him all the way here. He had gotten in that fight until someone had called a teacher. He had then been taken to the vice principal for the corresponding scolding, followed by a punishment —knowing the gravity of the issue, you suspected that Akaashi had been suspended for a couple of weeks, completely unexpected from someone as polite and nice as him. Suspension included not participating in club activities, a big hit for the entire team and everyone’s reputation. And yet, Akaashi had hidden in this locker room… probably to avoid going back home, where his parents would be extremely displeased to learn about his behavior.

It was a huge mess he had gotten into, and you still hadn’t found out why.

You took his arm, poured alcohol on a piece of cotton, and warned him:

“This will sting.”

As you pressed the cotton against his first scratch located near the wrist, he hissed, raising his head and shooting a surprised look at you.

But he didn’t say anything, not after seeing your serious expression, your tightly pressed lips. He let you work on his wounds, no matter how uncomfortable it was for him, and he clenched his jaw to push through the pain —probably believing this to be another punishment for his actions.

The truth was that, in reviewing all the steps until he had hidden in that room, you knew that nobody had tended to his wounds. Surely someone had healed the other guy, but not Akaashi.

“So… Tell me what happened,” you insisted, emphasizing your point by pressing the alcohol-soaked cotton ball against the wound on his elbow.

He shut his eyes tightly, biting his already bruised lip to deal with the sting.

“Nakamura from the soccer club,” he muttered, as if the name itself explained everything.

“Aha. And?”

You knew Nakamura from the soccer club enough to suspect what had happened. He was a beefy guy with an inversely proportional muscle mass to brain cell ratio. You weren’t prone to classifying people by stereotypes, but this guy truly was the brainless athlete who gloated too much about his skills and insulted anyone he didn’t deem strong enough to compete against him.

You suspected he had insulted Akaashi, but your friend wasn’t the kind to fall for taunts.

It surprised you when he instead said:

“He said something very ugly about you, y/n-san.”

Your hand stopped mid-air, the cotton ball hovering a scarce inch away from his next wound.

“Did you get into this much trouble for me…? Akaashi, you didn’t have to, I don’t mind empty insults, I—”

“He called you a whore,” he added, a flame lighting up in his eyes again. “I couldn’t take it, I simply couldn’t.”

“Akaashi…”

“It wasn’t just an empty insult. It wasn’t just a word he said. He was attacking your honor and your dignity for no reason,” he explained, words rushing out of his mouth in a stream he couldn’t control. “He said you were a whore because you had become our manager just to be surrounded by guys, to get into our pants. I couldn’t stand it, I couldn’t stand hearing another word, so I shut him up.”

He caught his breath as you remained silent.

Surely it was a hurtful insult, an unprompted one. You weren’t that kind of person, but you also knew how stupid Nakamura was, so paying attention to him was pointless.

Then again, it was time someone ended up punching him after offending everyone who had the bad luck to be around him. You just wished it hadn’t been Akaashi, of all people.

He could lose everything he had fought for —his reputation in front of the teachers, his good grades, his future as a college student, his spot in the volleyball club… all of it because of an insult to you.

The worst of all was the thought that Nakamura looked innocent to the eyes of the teachers, a kind of martyr.

“You’ve risked it all for me, Akaashi. You shouldn’t have…”

“I couldn’t help it.”

You pressed the cotton against a big scratch on his neck and he hissed.

“You are not like this.”

“Am I not?” He replied. “Maybe you don’t know me. Maybe—”

“Stop playing the edgy boy, it doesn’t suit you. We both know you aren’t like this, and you lost the game when you fell for his taunts. He wasn’t even targeting me when he said that, he was targeting you.”

“Ugh.”

“Yeah. That guy has always been jealous of your poise and your athleticism. He might have muscles, but he’s never had the skills or game intelligence that you have, Akaashi, and now you’re suspended from the volleyball club. Who’s won, huh? You never fall for those things.”

He let a deep breath out of his nose, an acknowledgment to his defeat. You circled his body to tackle the wounds on the other side.

“And he destroyed you, let me tell you,” you added, pointing at the bruises.

“He got worse.”

“Oh, shut up. You’re in serious trouble.”

“It was worth it,” he replied, a childish pout on his lips.

You gave him a sad look.

“No, it wasn’t.”

Your reply made him bury his face in his knees one more time, and it made you wonder if maybe you had been too harsh at him. Yet it didn’t feel right to lie to a friend and tell him he’d done the right thing when it wasn’t the case. Nakamura had won the mental fight, he was the victim in the eyes of the world, and Akaashi could potentially lose everything he didn’t deserve to lose.

But he was probably aware of it. Facing the reality of how much he had risked in an inexcusable fit of anger, his only way to cope was to try to find a reason to justify it and make it worth it —a pure lie to himself.

You didn’t know how to comfort him, other than healing the wounds that nobody else had paid attention to. Arriving to his right hand —his weapon of choice— you inspected his purple knuckles, the prints of his vicious attacks.

“I appreciate that you fought for my honor, but I can’t stop thinking about how much you might lose as a consequence. You shouldn’t burn yourself to protect others,” you said, fingertips circling his knuckles and travelling up and down his exhausted fingers. “It isn’t fair.”

All you heard was a sigh as a reply.

“Let me check your neck.”

He reluctantly tilted his head enough to give you space to heal the wounds in his neck. There were red and purple marks that made you wonder if Nakamura had tried to strangle Akaashi, and a knot closed around your own throat.

“Do you hate me, y/n-san?” Akaashi asked in a timid whisper.

You surveyed the storm of emotions inside your mind, the conflicting feelings fighting each other, but it was hard to find anything that resembled hate.

After all, you found it impossible to hate someone like him, not even after such an unexpected but human reaction. Who wouldn’t get angry at such an unfair insult towards a friend? Had you been the one witnessing such a humiliation aimed at Akaashi, wouldn’t you have jumped for Nakamura’s throat?

“Of course not.”

And in the dim light, Akaashi tilted his face just enough for a tear in his eye to catch the light of the afternoon as it filtered through the window.

Your fingers found the space under his jaw, and you raised his chin towards you, examining his face. It was a party of bruises and scratches like the rest of his body, but what truly caught your attention was the broken lower lip, a red trail cascading down his chin.

The single tear dropped down his cheek and you caught it with your thumb.

“But I’d hate if something like this happened to you again.”

With your free hand, you pressed the cotton to the corner of his eyebrow.

“I hate to see you get hurt,” you added. “I don’t want you to lose everything you’ve fought so hard for.”

“I’d do it again for you.”

“No. It’s not worth it. It hurts to see you in this situation.”

You slid the cotton down the side of his face, all the way to his jaw.

Remembering the purple marks on his neck, knowing how brutal Nakamura could be, the image crossed your mind of Akaashi being strangled.

“I don’t want to see you hurt ever again,” you insisted, your thumb caressing his face.

“I can take it,” he argued.

You imagined Akaashi gasping for breath, failing to get air to his lungs. You imagined his life slowly slipping away from his body under Nakamura’s hands.

“If you got hurt again… if I were to lose you…”

You couldn’t find the words to describe the pain you’d feel. There was no other way to shake away the terrible images in your mind, or to describe the emotions inside your chest.

There was no other place in his face that wouldn’t hurt him, so you chose the bloodied corner of his lips to place a kiss, to land your feelings, to dissipate his pain.

You noticed the way his eyes widened as yours closed for a brief and eternal second before you softly pulled back.

In the following silence, his eyes looked into yours for answers.

It took a while to convince Akaashi to go home, and you only succeeded when you took his hand in yours and guided him out of the locker room, where his presence was banned, and promised to walk all the way to his house and speak to his parents.

You were afraid of the consequences he’d face at home, and you thought he’d already faced enough punishment. He regretted his actions, his body was full of wounds, and he got suspended two weeks from school. Aside from that, teachers had lost respect for him and the future of his grades was a big question mark floating in the air.

It was enough punishment for a mistake, you thought.

Upon arriving to his house, he stopped at the entrance, his legs paralyzed by the fear. Surely the teacher had already informed his parents, and he found no excuse around the incident. Telling the truth was the only possibility, and he dreaded the consequences.

After all, he had always been the quiet guy, the good student, the almost perfect kid. His parents weren’t used to this kind of disruption —they didn’t expect it at all from their only child. The destiny of his family relied on his shoulders, and he had betrayed the surname he had always carried with responsibility and effort. You knew all of this, and feared the consequences as much as he did.

You knocked on the door for him, aware of the terrified look in his eyes. Promising that the sooner he went through this, the sooner the pain would be gone, you stood in front of him at the doorstep, waiting for his parents to open the door.

When the wooden panel in front of you revealed the face of Akaashi’s mom, you stood firm, back straight, shoulders back, hands resting in front of your lap, a serene look in your face.

She was angry, but she politely greeted you, even if your presence disturbed her plans. Surely she had gone through the future conversation in her mind over and over, trying to organize the sermon she would throw at her son once he got home.

You were an unexpected event that disrupted the flow in their lives.

“Good evening, y/n,” she said, and her eyes flew to your friend standing behind you. “You’re very late, Keiji. There’s no excuse for you to get home this late after everything that has happened. We need to talk.”

Even if your presence only served for Akaashi’s mom to soften her angry words a bit, it was already worth the walk, but you couldn’t just stand still and let Akaashi suffer more.

He was in enough pain already.

“I’m sorry for disturbing you, and I apologize for Keiji’s late arrival,” you explained. “It was my fault. I was talking to him, telling him that what he did was wrong, and tending to his wounds.”

Her angry eyes returned to you, and for a brief second you spotted a shadow of sadness in her expression before she forced herself to return to her stoic demeanor. After all, it was her job as a parent to not crumble in this situation.

“Keiji, get inside. Thank you for bringing him home, y/n.”

Akaashi walked past you, his fingers lightly brushing your wrist as he whispered “thank you, y/n-san” before he went inside and you lost sight of his shape.

In a desperate last attempt, you said to his mom:

“He made a mistake. It was a bad mistake, but he’s aware of it. He has faced the consequences. He was only defending me.”

Now that Akaashi wasn’t there, her face dropped all signs of anger, only leaving behind the pain of disappointment in her expression.

“I know, but some actions are inexcusable, y/n. Please go home, it’s late already.” She bowed at you, and you returned the gesture, bowing deeper. Before she closed the door, she whispered: “You won’t see him in a while.”

And as the door slammed closed, her words hit you deep in your gut.

In the end, there was nothing you could do to help him.

You didn’t see or communicate with Akaashi in two weeks. The despair of his absence made you take the decision of speaking to the teachers and the vice principal, not to revert Akaashi’s suspension but to put in a good word for him, explaining to them how much Akaashi regretted his actions. Some teachers were more understanding than others, and you hoped you could at least help them trust Akaashi again.

The volleyball club wasn’t the same without him, and you could feel the heavy atmosphere as a manager. The members of the team were displeased at Akaashi’s suspension, but after the first days you noticed that most of the guys were in favor of what Akaashi had done.

After all, Nakamura was a pretty unpopular character at the school, and Bokuto in particular had a hard time every time he saw the guy around the hallways.

Two weeks went by painfully slow, and then one morning Akaashi showed up at school again. He had changed, his demeanor even more stoic than usual, his eyes more serious. There was little trace of wounds on his body anymore, but you noticed a tiny scar crossing his lower lip.

Your first chance of talking to him was during lunch break. You sneaked into his classroom, finding him at his table minding his business. It was clear how careful he was in his actions now, afraid that any tiny slip-up would cause his downfall.

Finding a seat in the empty chair right in front of his desk, you shot him a smile.

“Hey, Akaashi. Nice to see you around again. How are you?”

Your stomach dropped when he didn’t return the smile. He continued eating his lunch as he said:

“I’m okay.”

“You don’t look okay,” you replied, your happiness now gone.

“It’s hard to earn people’s forgiveness,” he explained, eyes focused on his lunch box.

“Are you angry at me?”

“Of course not.”

You sighed, resting your arms on the back of the chair, and pressing your chin against your hands.

It was hard to read Akaashi, a guy who wasn’t fond of letting his emotions seep through his face. But it was as if the punishment he had received from both the school and his family had hardened him even more.

What if he didn’t like you anymore? What if the feelings you had expressed two weeks ago in the locker room had no validity to him anymore?

“What did your family tell you?”

“They’re extremely disappointed. I know they don’t trust me anymore,” he replied with an apparent detachment that you found unusually painful to listen to.

“Keiji…”

You caught him off guard —chin raising, eyes abandoning the sigh of his food to land on your face. You had never called him by first name before.

“y/n.”

“I’ve missed you.”

He swallowed.

“Me too,” he whispered, almost as if it was forbidden to him to confess his feelings.

“The volleyball team has missed you too. They’re dying to play with you again.”

You leaned forwards, entering the space of his desk, trying to bring some semblance of normalcy and positivity back to his life. You couldn’t imagine what he had gone through in the last two weeks —he would never tell you about the words his family had scolded him with, or the phone talks he might have had with his disappointed teachers, or the empty and lonely nights thinking about how much he missed the school and his friends.

All you could do was to try to push those feelings into the past and help him move forwards.

He opened his mouth to reply when a voice disrupted your conversation. You turned your head to the source of the interruption, finding an arrogant Nakamura standing next to you.

“Well, look who’s back!”

Silence spread around the classroom, followed by the murmurs of classmates surrounding you to witness the scene.

Akaashi cast a glance at the unwelcomed visit, but before you could dread a second fight, your friend returned his attention to his food and to you.

“It was wonderful,” he told you. “I had to do homework, but nothing out of the ordinary. I skipped classes and slept until late. Then I had time to play videogames in the afternoon.”

You blinked at Akaashi. He spoke nonchalantly, picking a rice ball from his box and munching at it, talking with his mouth full. Your eyes widened as he kept explaining the wonders of his daily routine during suspension, and you couldn’t hide the shock at what was clearly a lie —yet Akaashi explained it with a spontaneity that almost sold it to you.

Nakamura tried to interrupt him, speaking louder and louder, only to get ignored consistently by Akaashi.

As if his enemy didn’t exist at all.

You were afraid that the soccer player would get so mad that he’d punch Akaashi, but surprisingly it didn’t happen. In a fit of anger, the guy kicked a desk nearby and eventually left the classroom.

A soft chuckle left Akaashi’s lips.

“He knows he can’t attack me, or he’d get suspended, and he has an important match coming.”

“You’ve changed, Keiji.”

“I have simply learned and evolved.”

He put the remaining of the rice ball into his mouth and licked his fingers. You sneakily removed a single grain from the corner of his lips.

“Did you really sleep until late and play videogames?”

“Of course not, but he doesn’t know that. So… the guys are dying to play with me again, you said?”

“Oh yes. And I am looking forward to seeing this evolved version of you play in an official match. They have a big storm coming.”

It was the first time you saw a genuine smile in Akaashi’s face after the suspension.

“I’m free on Sunday, by the way. I’m not grounded anymore, so how about we meet? My lips hurt so much lately and I need you to fix it.”

A rush of heat climbed up your chest and all the way to your face, which you buried into your hands.

Yes, Akaashi had changed. And you couldn’t believe how blunt he had become.

BONUS (end of first scene)

In the following silence, his eyes looked into yours for answers.

You had just kissed him —there was no room for doubt. Akaashi’s brain functioned at 3000 revolutions per minute, considering every possibility, discarding any that didn’t fit his hypothesis.

It was strange, the location you had chosen to land a kiss. The way your thumb caressed his chin would fit the romantic category better than the platonic one, yet every romantic movie he had ever seen had the couple kissing in the center of the lips.  Unlike the traditional kiss, you had found the corner of his mouth instead, but the angle of your lips against his, the surface of your mouth that had come in contact with his… it was undeniably a kiss in the lips, not a kiss in the cheek.

Could this mean what he thought it meant? Could this be a confession of sorts? A revelation of romantic feelings on your part?

As unexpected as it was, it didn’t shock him. He couldn’t say he didn’t see it coming. He had considered this possibility in the past, the chances of this happening only increasing as your friendship with him became more intimate.

Heck, when he had punched that Nakamura guy in the mouth, he hadn’t even felt like a friend protecting another friend’s honor. He had almost spat a “don’t you dare insult my girlfriend” at Nakamura, and he was thankful he hadn’t embarrassed himself in front of everyone during the heat of the fight, for you weren’t his girlfriend —as much as he wished you were.

But if getting in so much trouble had brought about this sweet moment to him, he wouldn’t pull away from it now.

He wasn’t projecting his wishes onto your actions, no. This was a kiss in the lips, there was no doubt about it. This wasn’t a byproduct of his imagination.

Thus, there was only one possible answer.

One second later, his hands cupped your face, pulling you closer, and he kissed you back —a true kiss, as it should be, right on the center of your lips.

And then he felt it, the pang of pain crossing his lips, a groan escaping from his throat as he pulled back.

“Your lip is broken, you idiot,” you chuckled, examining the wound on his lower lip as he hissed in pain. “Or why do you think I kissed you on the corner of your mouth?”

You coiled your arm gently around his shoulders, bringing him closer against your body, and you buried your face into his cheek, placing another kiss at the end of his lips.

He still felt the sting, but he smiled.

The pain was worth it.

TAGLIST

@hqxreader​

[liskantope]

A Facebook friend I've had for some years who is of color and produces ample posts about her own racial experiences, whose background is white conservative Christian (she was adopted into a white family) but embraced wokeness abruptly and brains-falling-out-of-head-full-on circa 2015-2016 (I knew her before then), and about whom I wrote this ranty post I'm not terribly proud of, posted something the other day that I found upsetting on multiple levels and perfectly illustrative of some of my issues with the whole "vulnerability is strength" thing I was writing about the other day.

(Yes, I still go on Facebook somewhat although I've been successful at cutting down since January; with so much less American politics drama nowadays it's been easier both to avoid Facebook and to avoid getting upset by bad posts. And yes, I still run into this person's posts occasionally.)

[The below came out blunt and once again uncharitable in places -- it's about someone else's story which I can think of plenty of ways I might be evaluating unfairly -- but it's too late and I'm way too tired to think of a better way of expressing the points I want to get across.]

In her post, predicated with a content warning for "anti-Blackness", she describes an incident of some months ago, when a "white family member" (she doesn't specify how close but presumably not one of her parents) sent her a "birthday gift" which was evidently a journal for Loved Ones Who May Be Straying From The Proper Conservative Christian Path with an exhortation on each page to the gist of "If you're starting to believe such-and-such, come home." She was skimming through and came to a page that said, "If you don’t believe that Critical Race Theory is the work of demons, you need to come home."

Her reaction, in her own words:

I hulked out. I tore the journal in half with a scream and threw it in the trash. I sobbed, I texted my mom and my best friends and proceeded to block all my immediate family members on Facebook.

She went on to defend Critical Race Theory as just a "theory, not harmful ideology"; how could a theory about understanding centuries-long oppression possibly be demonic? She ended with a comment about how her therapist had taught her the importance of "protecting [her] peace" and how this was a demonstration of it.

So, I have a lot of reactions to this. First of all, I've occasionally heard of similar practices of family members giving "gifts" that are basically just overt messages of judgment purportedly coming from a place of love, and whenever I do, my gut twists a little. Like, if you disapprove of the lifestyle or ideology of someone you love, find an appropriate time to tell it to their face in a respectful, non-condescending manner; don't deliver it in the form of a present for them to receive on their birthday of all times. I may be wrong, but this type of behavior seems prevalent in conservative religious subcultures, and I find it pretty toxic. I can certainly understand why my Facebook friend felt hurt and perhaps betrayed, and why she would want to block family members on Facebook.

As for her own described reaction, either it happened exactly that way or she's exaggerating it, and if she's exaggerating it that's almost more troubling to me because it means her post is performative and indicates an awareness of a very appreciative audience. Either way... I can't think of a more perfect example of what John McWhorter describes in contending (among other things) that (1) wokeness is truly a religion; and (2) extremely woke people of color have internalized victimhood as such an inalienable part of their identity that they wouldn't know how to view themselves without it. If someone receives a note from a relative criticizing some of their beliefs, and they completely freak out to the extent my acquaintance described, then the thing being criticized isn't merely "some beliefs"; it's a religion or full-blown way of life that is earth-shakingly precious to them.

Furthermore, it's another example of a minor flying-off-the-handle breakdown dressed up as strength or power, assuming what I like to call a "have your cake and eat it too" notion of "strength" where falling apart but feeling righteous in falling apart translates to feeling mightier or (paradoxically) more unbreakable. Note the use of the word "hulked" in the first sentence of the description, implying power, followed closely by what comes across to me as a sort of meltdown. I've known lots of people who receive disapproval of some of their beliefs and/or behaviors (often by a relative) and respond with a "F- you, get out of my life!" either back at that person's face or (say) on social media in venting to their friends. That's showing a certain type of strength or fortitude, I'll grant that, even though generally I don't consider cursing someone out and shunning them anywhere near an optimal form of strength or fortitude, and I hate the way that anger is being fetishized as the "strongest" way to react to things by many nowadays.

Other people respond to criticism of their beliefs (especially over-the-top criticism like "comes from demons") by laughing and saying, "What an idiot, I'm not listening to them." Again, dismissing other people's views as idiotic isn't something I regularly endorse, but it's sometimes necessary for one's own sanity and certainly can be a form of strength.

But, screaming and sobbing and texting your mom and close friends as if you're in an urgent crisis is another thing altogether. It's something I can be sympathetic about and hope that the person in question gets support in coping with such events, but in no way whatsoever is this a sign of strength -- I think one has to bend over backwards and distort the very meaning of the word to claim that it is.

Her post as usual was met with dozens of hero-worshippy comments from among her hundreds of fawning (mostly white) admirers, which thanked her for how strong and inspiring she was in the face of such "trauma" and, most strikingly, "I love that you ripped it apart!!!! You are powerful <3<3<3<3". I'm sorry, because I know this makes me kind of sound like an ass, but outside of some very different particular circumstances I just can't see physically destroying an inanimate object (that one just received and didn't want) as brave or tough or powerful.

And I didn't mean the quotes around the word "trauma" above as scare quotes: it can be traumatic to have someone who's supposed to be close to you say, in the form of a "gift", that something you believe in is demonic if that belief is something (like a religion) that you hold as close to your heart and sense of being as this acquaintance apparently holds CRT. But -- as I've said before, and I'm saying again -- one's capacity to be traumatized is not itself strength or agency; in my view, the people who call it that are confusing it with the strength in being able to cope and stand upright and treat others well despite being traumatized.

That's essentially a big part of my beef with very one-sided "vulnerability is strength" narratives.

[twilightknight17]

We’re at the end of the road, folks.

And god damn, I feel so validated by my Sojiro characterization. Wow. Thanks for basically making me canon for ten more seconds, Atlus. XDDD

So when last we left our intrepid heroes, they were laying at the bottom of the Jail of the Abyss, because Ichinose is an asshole. So we had to fight our way back up, carrying Sophia’s unconscious body. Which wasn’t that bad; the Jail isn’t very big. We left Sophia at the door to keep her safe, and then charged back into the hall of the Ark to hack Ichinose’s exploding crystal box thing.

Ichinose doesn’t understand why we came back.

So, yeah. I guess like... bizarro-world Maruki? Maruki wanted to alleviate suffering by granting everyone’s wishes. EMMA’s going to make it so that people can’t wish for anything.

After a kick-ass hacking battle set to the new version of Rivers in the Desert, Ichinose yells at us about our right to judge. Why should humanity keep this painful world, just because WE’RE strong? Just because we’ve never screwed up or suffered?

Which, clearly she has no idea who the fuck she’s talking to.

We’ve worked too hard to listen to that kind of bullshit.

Ichinose proclaims that “humans don’t need hearts” and charges up the laser crystal to blast us again, and Sophia steps in to block the attack. She’s still fighting Ichinose’s control even though Ichinose insists that she’s just a faulty prototype.

Apparently Ichinose created Sophia in the first place because she spent a lifetime being called a heartless doll, so she made an AI to help her learn about the heart.

I think you’re the problem, but not for the reasons everyone else is saying.

But she got angry when Sophia started asking questions of her own and basically tossed her aside, until EMMA found her and dropped her into the Shibuya Jail.

And Sophia, unlike her creator, has learned and grown, and is tired of being given orders. She’s ready to make her own choices.

That is certainly a persona.

I gotta admit, they got me. I was wondering why Sophia didn’t have her arcana yet, but for some reason, I also wasn’t expecting her to get a proper persona. I’m now wondering about the implications of someone being able to code an AI capable of developing a soul that can summon a persona. There’s a zero percent chance that Ichinose had any access to plumes of dusk, which are the reason that Aigis and Labrys gained enough consciousness to have personas. So Sophia is legitimately a miracle piece of technology.

Pandora is an interesting choice, but I dunno if I can articulate that beyond a surface-level, “Oh, because she’s Hope, and Hope was still in the box.”

I swear to god, every major villain in this game is trying to be Goro Akechi. For the last goddamn time, we don’t kill people. Get up, Ichinose. We’re leaving.

Ryuji literally grabs her by the arm and drags her out, because she’s trying to stay behind. Which just confirms for me that if Goro hadn’t put up that bulkhead door, we’d have dragged his stupid ass out of the Ship, too. XD

Back to the real world, and Tokyo is blacking out, and the Tower is losing its shit.

The metaverse is fusing with reality, the Tower is becoming the Tree of Knowledge, and hell yes we are climbing this tower after all!

Morgana points out that this is the same thing that happened last year, and Zenkichi freaks out a little bit.

You’re lucky you moved to Kyoto, sir. You missed quite a bit.

I love these kids, though. They’ve got so much black humor about this whole god thing.

The metaverse encroaching on reality means that everyone has to cram into the bus in their thief gear. Zenkichi, please. Your hat. Sir.

I love climbing this tower. I’ve been here, too! Also they have butter. XD

I was expecting the Mementos version of the lower observation deck, and instead I got some weird amalgam between Mementos and Azathoth’s boss chamber.

We had to fight Metatron as the guardian of the last elevator, which is another parallel to Yaldabaoth’s archangels. And then it’s up to what I guess used to be the high observation deck to fight the big box.

EMMA insists that all humanity wants is to let it give them all the answers, and it throws them into some sort of alternate fog world full of the voices of the public.

The Thieves are all separated, trapped in the fog. Each of them has to find their way out, and they realize that the fog of the Desires is protecting EMMA. EMMA knows exactly how calling cards work, so they won’t work on her. Instead, the Thieves decide that they need to send the calling card to the public, so that they’ll become aware of their desires again and the desires will crystalize.

...oh come on, Atlus. We’re right in the endgame.

One last hacker battle to break into EMMA’s server room in the tower, and Futaba and Ichinose manage to hack EMMA itself to deliver a calling card to everyone at once.

Love you, Zenkichi. We’ve taken out two gods already. We’re good.

Confronting the Ark again reveals a bunch of freaky tentacle arms grabbing the desires, and then the box turns into some sort of massive figure that looks sort of like Yaldabaoth, except less robot and more seraphim. It literally names itself the Demiurge, so I feel like EMMA may be drawing something from the lingering dregs of Yald’s influence? It’s cool.

Clearly no one told you what happened to the last false god that thought it knew what was best for humanity. ;) “Hope binds humanity to misery” is bullshit.

After a... not very difficult first phase, the Demiurge reveals its true form, and we split into three teams to take out its support orbs (modeled after the sephirot) and the main body.

I really liked the setup for the last boss. The teams were the first instance where it was really apparent that the whole team was fighting together. Each of the three battles was happening concurrently, and destroying the orbs has a concrete effect on the main fight. I wish we’d gotten to do things like this more often, especially during the Shadow Thieves fight.

That said, the main body was actually the easiest part of the fight? All the attacks were really telegraphed, and not particularly hard to avoid. Except for the spear jab.

But it finished off with a full-team all-out attack, and that was awesome.

The desires began to return to their owners, and we get to bask in a job well done once again.

Upon returning to the real world, it’s the next morning. Sophia’s happy that she got to be a hero, Zenkichi’s heading off to properly arrest Owada, and the rest of us need to head home, because we were supposed to be home last night. Zenkichi can’t figure out why we consider him a phantom thief, since he “only joined [us] to use [us]”. Which is silly. The Phantom Thieves are built on the bonds of friendship and stalking! It’s too late, Zenkichi. You and Akane have been adopted.

I’m a little disappointed we didn’t get to tell Akane the truth. That would have been great.

Atlus personally reaches out and pats me on the head, because Sojiro has the absolute perfect reaction to his kids coming home after a nationwide manhunt for them.

I feel so valid making him serve Lavenza coffee and be completely nonplussed about a guy marrying Death. I love him. We’re so lucky to have Sojiro. XDDDD

The next day, the kids have a celebration party for their victory, and learn that Akira is going home the next day. This kid needs to catch a break. He can’t even have a few days to relax with his friends. X’‘‘D

Everyone goes to see off Akira, though we detour to Shibuya to meet Ichinose. A news report shows that Owada was successfully arrested, and apparently Ichinose tried to turn herself in to the police, and they didn’t believe a word of it.

This is just highlighting my issues with Maruki. Even if he doesn’t think he did anything wrong to society as a whole, he never apologizes to them for what he put them through. Especially Akira. Ichinose turns around and helps them stop the final boss, and her last scene is her apologizing to the Thieves and trying to make amends for her actions. Maruki’s last scene is... “If things get bad, you can start over like me! Now we’re even!” We are not.

Sophia leaves to help Ichinose learn about the heart, Akira promises to come back for winter break, the Phantom Thieves go their separate ways once again, and the credits roll.

I’m gonna leave my final impressions in a different post, because this one is long enough already. So... look forward to that?

[letarasstuff]

I like it

A/N: Ok ok, this is like my first Poe Fic (and Star Wars tho) ever, so please don’t be mean to me :c Also, English isn’t my first language

Summary: After having your whole family slaughtered by the First Order, Poe takes you in. Suddenly the base gets attacked by them, when he is not there. How will he react?

Warnings: Language, mentions of death, anxiety, panic attack and bad grammar

father figure!Poe Dameron x Teen!Reader

On your homeplanet there weren't many options to make money. You are either good with mechanics and motors or you look good enough, that the greasy men like you. As one can say, you were lucky.

Your parents owned a workshop. This isn't anything unusual, given the fact there is one at every corner in the bigger cities. But yours was the best. You don't wanna sound cocky, it's just the truth.

So your mother and father taught you the inside of every thing, that has a motor. Before you were even able to form a proper sentence, you could repair any ship on the planet. Still you had a nice childhood, playing with the kids in the neighborhood, going to school and learning new stuff. You are happy to say, that your parents did a damn good job at giving you the best memories a kid can ever have.

But anything good comes to an end, so does this. You were 14 years old, when the First Order came down to your homeplanet. Even though your leaders weren't that nice people, they still refused to be in an alliance with them. Initially they wanted to stay neutral in the war, but as soon as they declined the offer, they tried to get into contact with the Resistance.

Unfortunately, they were too late. When they got their pilots on your ground, nearly everything was burnt down. They swarmed out to look after survivors. Even though they did their best, they couldn't find anyone, who has a beating heart. The sight was heartbreaking. This once living planet was now the aftermath of the First Order's wrath.

The pilots gave up eventually. Nobody agreed to it, but they didn't have many options. The last one to leave the planet was a man, who is known as the golden boy of the Resistance. Poe Dameron. Especially to him it was unacceptable to leave this planet with bare hands. 

So he started a last desperate attempt and looked into one of the most destroyed buildings. He shoved a bit of rubble to the side, when he saw a leg. Hope began to rise inside of him. Quickly he put another rather big piece of rubbish to the side to expose a face. It was a young kid, their eyes are closed.

Poe rushed to their side and checked the wrist for a pulse. The sigh he let out, when he felt a light one, has to be the loudest the galaxy ever witnessed. Happy to be the messenger of good news, the pilot told his squadron about his found. All of them cheered, it was kind of a miracle for them.

Now they have to act fast. Poe picked the kid up and rushed them to his own ship. He knew, that a team of nurses would take too long to get to the both of them. So he put them on a seat and secured them with the belt. He was quick to make his way back to base. He told the ground team about the only survivor and let them prepare a team of doctors and nurses to help the kid.

Luckily the kid made it. Just a few broken ribs, a concussion and a few bruises were what they got as a punishment for their leader's decision.

You are a lucky kid.

You spent a few days unconscious in the medical wing, before you woke up to a steady beeping. To be honest, this noise really got on your nerves. So you opened your eyes to be met by blinding lights. After shutting and re-opening them you got used to it. Then you had the time to take your surroundings in. There were a some machines, that monitor your vitals. Seemed like you were still alive. But why were you here?

Out of all sudden it hit you. The First Order attacked your homeplanet. Your parents, who tried to bring you into safety. Then another missile hit the building and everything goes black. What happened to them? What about all your friends, neighbors? Where were you?

Your breath began to quicken. The beeping got faster. This added to your panic and made you more and more frantic. Your throat tightened as did your chest. Everything seemed to break over you and you don't know what to do.

Then you feel another presence. The person put their hands on your shoulders and spoke in a calm and warm voice:"Hey, hey. Breath, ok? Just take a long breath in, hold it and let it out slowly. Try to feel the way it enters your body and leaves it again. We can get through it, but you have to work with me here, buddy."

You do as the someone told you and mimicked their breathing as they showed you the exercise. Your breathing steadied again as did the beeping. Finally you were able to face them. The person, who talked you through your mini panic attack, has dark brown locks and brown eyes. There were also the shadow of a beard on his jaw.

"Better?", he asked you and gave you a glass of water. After savouring every last drop of it, you answered:"Yes, thank you..?" "Poe, Poe Dameron. The Resistance's best pilot." Well, this is an introduction only he can do.

"Then hello Mr Dameron. I'm (Y/N), the best mechanic my age you can find in the whole galaxy." Actually, you were never the person to be cocky around strangers, but with this Poe guy it felt right at an instance.

"Hello (Y/N), just call me Poe and if you want to address me by my last name, do it right. It's Commander Dameron." "Thank you for this information. Where are my parents though? Why are you here, not them? Also no offence, but it seems pretty weird to wait for  a random teenager to wake up."

The first answer were a sigh. He explained the whole situation to you, even though he didn't want to be the one to bring the bad news. Your only reaction was crying. You felt so many things at once and this was your only way to let it out.

While holding your crying form, Poe promised himself to take care of you from now on. He partly did it, because he felt like it was his fault, that your family was dead. If he was there earlier, he could have saved them. But the other part was you. Even though he only knew you for a few minutes, he felt a connection. Now it's upon him to protect you.

And he does keep his promise until the very day. The both of you share a room, you and BB-8 get super good along, he helps you to make yourself a name as the best mechanic the Resistance has to offer. Hell, he even teaches you how to fly an X-Wing. To say he is impressed by the skill you already have is an understatement. But neither he nor Leia allow you to tag along missions until you old enough. This also counts for training and wearing a blaster.

One time you ask Poe which age this should be. He answers with:”It’s the same age you are allowed to kiss somebody.” It is this moment, when you realize, that you will never be old enough.

It is another rather calm day on the base, which is quite suspicious. The First Order hasn't pulled any stunts recently. Still everybody has something to do, except for the majority of pilots. There aren't many missions for them now, That's why Poe sits next to you, while you repair an astromech. "And then I saved the whole galaxy", ends the older man yet another of his heroic stories. "Again", you add with an eye roll. He nudges your shoulder with his own and exclaimes: "Well, somebody has to do it!" Laughing you tighten another screw and knock gently on the astromech's head.

"Now you are all done, buddy. But be more careful next time while playing with the others tag, ok?", you speak softly to BB-031. Happily she nods and drives off to her pilot. You turn back to Poe. "When do you have to leave?" "Not in another two hours, that means we can grab lunch together. It's just an abandoned outpost with new activities. I don't even think that this has something to do with the First Order", he reassures you. 

You sigh. "I know, but still. So many things can go wrong and I don't wanna be alone again." The both of you walk towards the mess hall. The brown haired man throws an arm around your shoulder. "We are soldiers, as sad as it may sound, it's the truth. We have to keep in our mind that death is always right beside our side. But as long as you are on this base, you will never be alone. Leia is going to take care of you. Always."

You look up to him and smile, a warm and fuzzy feeling bubbling inside of you. The last time you felt like this was with your parents at home.

Before he boards his X-Wing, Poe gives you a last hug and says:"Be good for Leia, ok buddy?" "This sounds like I am four!" "Well, when I think about it, you are like a four year old!", he jokes. With a pout you punch his arm. "Good luck out there and come back in one piece or else I hunt your dead ass down!"

When the Black Squadron left the hangar, you turn back to your own work and get totally engrossed into it. It's just you, your tools and the project infront of you.

That is until a blaring alarm sounds over the speakers. Confused you look up, only to see everyone in the hangar running around like chickens in panic. People throw stuff into bags, others finish their work up hastily and the remaining just run out. And you don't have a kriffing clue what's happening.

You try to stop one of the other mechanics. But to no avail. Nobody wants to explain the situation to you. But then you see the reason for all the commotion:

Outside at the sky are countless TIE-Fighters and it won't take long until the first one reaches the ground. 

You begin to scramble and run, but get pushed into a cart with tools on it. With a loud yelp you land on it and get pocked and cut by wrenches and such. Again, nobody pays attention at you. The own safety is the only present thing at the moment. 

When you hear the TIE touches the ground, you get up as quickly as possible. Even though your legs hurt from the fall, you run like your life depends on it. And it does.

The hangar is deserted. No pilots, no mechanics, no one is there. Expect for you. You can hear the stormtrooper enter the building, while you dash for the gateaway. Their steps are getting closer and closer. It doesn't take long for the enemies to spot you. Sooner as you want, you have to dodge shots from behind. But this isn't your only problem.

As a kind of safety guard the gateaway closes. You run faster than you ever did before. A quick look behind you tells you, that there is a stormtrooper too close for your liking. So you reach into your utility belt and throw the first thing you can grasp at him. Turns out it's one of your favorite wrenches, but it's not the time to mourn the loss. Saving your own life is way more important right now.

When you are close enough at the gate, you throw yourself on the floor and slide under it before is closes completely. But there is no time to catch your breath. You make your way through what feels like the whole base to get to the safety ships.

When you finally reach them, there's only one left. Leia stands at the entrance, looking for someone. As soon as her eyes set on your form, she seems relieved. The General grabs you by your arm and drag you inside the ship. Once you left the base, she pulls you into a hug while scolding you: "Never ever scare me like this again, (Y/N)!"

The Black Squadron is already on the new base. The news of the attack were spread fast to them, so they were quick to react. After your ship's landing the hatch opens. You emerge out of it into a crowd of nervous, scared and clamouring people. But there is one voice shouting, that stands out.

"Where is my kid? Where are they? Has anyone seen my kid? (Y/N)?!" 

It's Poe, who is looking for you. You try to make the direction out from where he shouts. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you see his dark locks. You push your way over to him and so does he, when he catches a glimpse of you. As soon as he is able to he pulls you in for a hug.

Poe strokes through your hair and makes it a mess, but you can't care less. "I was so scared, that I lost you, kiddo." "I'm fine. I'm fine", you assures him. "I don't care, let us get you to the medical wing, kid." "Ok, Dad."

"Did you just call me Dad?"

"Yes, I did."

"Well, I like that. Love you, kid."

"Love you, too, Dad."

[cienie-isengardu]

The development of Law’s relationship with Zoro - Part 5: Zou, The Kindred Spirits (Ninja-Pirate-Mink-Samurai Alliance)

<<Part I: Before Meeting>> <<Part II: Sabaody Archipelago, The First Meeting>> <<Part III: Punk Hazard, The Alliance (A)>> <<Part III: Punk Hazard, The Alliance (B)>>  <<Part IV: Dressrosa, The Breaking Point (The Plan Failed)__ (Saving Law)__(Protecting Law)__ (Birdcage, Pica and Doflamingo)__ (Aftermath)>> <<Part V: Zou, The Kindred Spirits (Traveling Together)__(Searching for Nakama)__ (Reunion)__ (Ninja-Pirate-Mink-Samurai Alliance)__(The Last Moments before War)>> >> 

Once Robin finished her translation, the King of the Day confirmed that indeed, red stone was hiding the leads to the place sought by the most powerful people on the sea. The legendary Rafter:

↪ Zoro (similar like King of the Night) was sitting on the ground in distance to others, yet Law was one of those closest to him. This was the second time Zoro kept sitting with Law standing in close range.

↪ On the group picture, the distance between those two changed into little to no personal space. For understandable reasons, the frame needed to contain all nine characters thus previous positions of these characters had to be disturbed. Zoro could be shown simply at Law’s left side (what was the most true in relation to the previous frame) instead it looks like Law was standing just behind the sitting swordsman.

↪ Again, Law and Zoro had a similar reaction - just a frown - that contrasted with the “open jaws” of others. They were the only two people keeping quiet. 

In all fairness, there is divergence in the location of these two characters. From one panel where Zoro sit alone far away from group

 to another, again between comrades.

↪ Despite the divergence, Law always stayed close (or closest from all people) to Pirate Hunter. 

↪ Once again, when the group learned shocking information - Kaido and Big Mom had two from four red poneglyphs needed to find Raftel - Zoro and Law did not show much emotions while Luffy was full of enthusiasm and Weakling Trio & Brook scared for good.

Nekomamushi warned Robin that all the powerful players will seek her out to learn the truth about poneglyphs to which she replied: “I don’t mind. After all I’ve got very powerful friends who will protect me.” Interestingly, Zoro was not shown alongside other Straw Hats pledging to protect Robin no matter what or being over pleased with her words. There is no doubt he will protect her like the rest of the crew but the lack of emotional reaction to Nico’s praise adds to the feeling of quietness and coldness - traits shared with Law through the arc.

Mink leaders and samurais shared with pirate alliance information about poneglyphs and that Momonosuke’s father - Kozuki Oden - was killed by current shogun of Wano, Orochi and Kaido. The last part brought them all to tears. Zoro with unusual(?) tact asked about the reason and, like he deducted, has it anything with them being chased by Doflamingo’s people.

Kinemon confirmed Zoro’s suspicion. 

“Yes… as you suspect, his crime was grievous. Kaido is attempting… to pry information out of us. The old Daimyo… lord Kozuki Oden… rode with the King of the Pirates, Gol D. Roger… to Raftel, the final island!! And it was there that he learned the secret of the world!!!”

For the first time in a long time, the position of sitting Zoro and Law changed in a way they got separated - and the distance stayed between them through the whole chapter 819:

While many characters were shocked by the reveal that Kozuki Oden was part of Pirate King’s crew, Zoro was still focused on understanding the situation of the samurais.

The loyal men of Kozuki Oden explained the fight to fulfill their dead master’s final wish to open Wano board to the world, the difficult situation in their county and their struggles to find allies who will help to beat down Kaido. Kinemon then asked Luffy and Law for help:

“And thus I have a request of you, sir Luffy!!! And of you, sir Law!!! It pains me to beg favors after you have already saved our lives… but your strength overwhelms me every time!!! If you are willing to accompany us in our struggle… then I ask for your help in the battle to strike down the Shogun of Wano and Kaido, Emperor of the sea!!!”

Luffy refused and didn’t accept the plea until Momonosuke - the heir of Kozuki Oden and leader of the samurai group - didn’t speak for himself. The boy did as Straw Hat requested and told about his wish to avenge parents and protect his loyal servants, asking for pirate help in the fight against Kaido. To which Luffy agreed, promising to defeat the Emperor.

↪ Like in Dressrosa, Luffy wanted to personally take down the enemy without considering the help of others. 

But since Luffy again promised someone help without any consultation with Law, Trafalgar openly showed discontent with the other captain doing what he likes without any thought about him. This scene varies from one translation to another, either as a simply ask "And what about our pact, Straw Hat?”

or

about Luffy’s faith put in Law and not asking him about opinion:

In case of the latter, which I think is closer to original meaning, at least in comparison to Polish and English subtitles for episode 771, the uncharacteristic behaviour of Law will soon be more related to Zoro’s own - but about that in a moment. 

And so, the Straw Hat-Heart pirate alliance changed into Ninja-Pirate-Mink-Samurai alliance.

Luffy told the ninja-mink-samurai allies there was no need to bow to them. Because for him alliance meant friendship and friends were equal. Law again disagreed with the notion alliance = friendship. 

This was the second time during the Zou arc (and third in general) when Law openly rejected the prospect of befriending Straw Hats. Like he said earlier to his crew, there was no need for them to be friends. This may explain why despite being on good terms with Straw Hat pirates he didn’t try to tighten ties with them. Thus the still visible distance... that did usually not include Zoro. But then again, both swordsmen understood the pragmatic reason for forming alliance and weren’t “delusional” about friendship being required part of that.

Of course, that does not mean that Law disliked Straw Hats and vice versa. Because after so many wild adventures and fights side by side, the bond between them was made whether anyone wanted it or not.

Luffy asked allies to wait with fight against Kaido until he retrieved missing crewmember:

“I’m going to bring him back… so hold off the fighting until then! The good news is that Sanji’s real tough! Having him on board is like having the strength of a thousand!!”

Zoro’s reaction - the same as Law’s moment ago - was pretty uncharacteristic. Not in the sense of rivalry between him and Sanji but in reaction to Luffy putting so much trust & respect into someone’s else.

Similar to Law (who most likely was put off by Luffy not showing him - the co-leader of alliance - proper respect by omitting his opinion during making important decisions), Zoro was openly upset(?) that Luffy praised so much Sanji whose disappearance caused unwanted troubles. The most uncharacteristic part of Zoro & Law acting was the openness about wanting / expecting Straw Hat’s respect. At the same time, both Supernovas did not  compete for that between themselves - both moments happened in relation to someone’s else. Law, in relation to other leaders of the ninja-mink-samurai part of the alliance. Zoro in relation to fellow member of Monster Trio. 

On the way back to town (chapter 820), the alliance had another chance to learn pieces of mink-samurai history, a bit about the way to Raftel (brought by Nami who was worried about navigation) and what happened to Whitebeard’s pirates under Marco’s command who battled with Blackbeard one year ago.  Zoro and Law were both pushed into background characters for most of the chapter. The animated version of these events (episode 771) still grouped them together in the little character-centric shots and properly showed that once again, Law walked right after Zoro at the very end. The interesting detail (seen in manga too) is that on the way back, the other characters walked in a different order than last time. Except Zoro and Law.

At some point in the journey, Law and Zoro separated. They were not very active in the main conversation until the end. Luffy asked where the alliance members will reunite with each other to which Zoro wondered if it was safe for Kinemon and the rest to return to Wano since the samurai group was targeted by Kaido. Law promised a safe journey to enemy territory in his submarine. Despite not taking an active part in the previous discussion, both Supernova paid attention to it and kept analyzing the situation.

The happy return to the town was disturbed by unexpected, powerful quakes. As it turned out, Jack came back to Zou and attacked Zunesha’s monstrously huge leg (to kill the carrier of Mink home rather than fight the remaining warriors). Ultimately, the situation was saved by Momonosuke who responded to the voice of the elephant and gave it a permission to destroy Kaido pirates. What the mysterious Zunesha did.

During that short lived moment of danger, Zoro and Law seemed to be unmoved by it (chapter 820).

and once the danger passed, both again stood close to each other (chapter 821) even though for the last 2 chapters they almost didn’t interact nor were in really close range of each other.

Next chapter: The Last Moments before War

[secret-engima]

In Fem!Nox verse, what are everyone else's reactions to Nyx and Nox Bonding?

Interesting!

-Regis is relieved for the most part, because his daughter NEEDS a Bonded Guide, but before now no one had been strong enough. Also a lot of surprise because on paper Nyx Ulric seems like nothing special, save for his unusual skill with magic for a non-LC. But Nyx Ulric has never done anything to indicate he wouldn’t be trustworthy, and upon meeting the man, he feels earnest against Regis’s magic and Guide senses, feels open and surprised and determined to help and Regis is ... so very relieved. Nox has a proper Guide now, and hopefully that will cut down on her Zone-Outs by a good margin (Titus helped Ardyn quite a bit after all).

-Clarus is surprised, and a little more suspicious. Because he had been LOOKING for strong Guides to test for compatibility, why hadn’t Ulric stepped up before? Why wait until a Zone-Out and snap-bond with her without supervision? Then Nyx openly and sheepishly admits he didn’t think he was that strong of a Guide and so hadn’t volunteered and now Clarus REALLY wants to know how strong Galahdians really are. Because what.

-Cor is happy for Nox and Regis, and also not as paranoid as Clarus, because he’s worked with the Glaives a few times and Nyx Ulric has always been a decent individual. Snarky and reckless, but who is Cor to judge on that end?

-Titus is a Sigh. Of course it was Ulric. Of course it was. Of course Nyx Ulric would be the One Person able to bond with Nox and Guide her our of her Zone-Outs. Why was he surprised for even a second. He also feels a headache forming because he knows what this will mean, that Ulric will have to step down from the glaive and that will be a nightmare. Then his nightmare gets so much WORSE when Nox steps UP and insists on joining the glaive as Nyx’s bonded Battle Pair (of which the glaive has many, bonded Battle Pairs are even better than solos in a fight because they counterbalance each other). Except Nox is Ardyn’s reckless niece as well as royalty and Ulric is ... well. ULRIC. Titus feels his Doom coming for him.

-Libertus is at first Not A Happy Camper. Sure he’s sympathetic to the Second Princess who keeps getting Zone-Outs and is too strong for normal Guides, but this is NYX. His Nyx that has run off and snap-bonded with her and ... yeah no. Lib doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like that Nyx has snap-bonded with an Outsider, especially royalty, and is not surprised when word gets out that Nyx will be forced to leave the glaive to stay at Nox’s side all the time.

-He is VERY surprised to hear that Nox turns around and joins the glaive after realizing her new Guide’s distress and wonders if ... maybe this won’t be so bad. They’ve all heard the rumors that Nox and her uncle were responsible for all those destroyed bases, it would be nice to have actual royalty and their extra magic on the field with them.

-He immediately takes back this opinion and Regrets Everything when he realizes that Nox is SO MUCH WORSE than Nyx in the reckless department. His only joy now is that Nyx is being forced to be the Braincell and is Suffering in all the ways Lib has suffered for years. But his joy is ... soured a bit because Nyx is a Terrible Braincell and so Lib now has TWO idiots to handle on top of being Crowe’s Bonded (Crowe laughs at him, traitor).

-Tredd is angry when he hears Nyx snap-bonded to royalty. Like- IDIOT. IDIOT. The Outsiders already own their homes, own their jobs, own their loyalty and blades, why would you give any Outsider access to that part of your soul? Nyx is the Last Ulric, last Chieftain of a once powerful and honored Clan and now he is OWNED both body and soul by an Outsider Princess who knows nothing of their suffering or home or traditions. Nyx can never go HOME now, even if they free Galahd someday, because Nyx will be tied here, to the Citadel, to the Princess, to Outsiders. His Clan will die out with no hope of revival and all of Galahd will suffer from the loss of the Stories of the Ulric Clan.

-Then Nox joins the glaive to be Nyx’s Battle Partner and Tredd ... gets angrier actually. He still thinks Nyx is enslaved on a certain level to this princess, and yeah he’s heard the rumors but those are just RUMORS. What is this Princess gonna do the first time she gets on the front and everything is fire and death and screaming, a hundred thousand things too loud and strong for Sentinel senses unless you’re careful?

-Tredd stays angry and snide behind Nox’s back up until Nox is actually put on the war-front and goes Feral on the NIfs with Nyx at her side. Then Tredd is ... overawed and floored. Because ... this is the power of a Sentinel Lucis Caelum? She’s not faltering, not flinching, he can TELL her senses are cranked up far past what even Tredd can stand in a war zone and she’s not even stumbling from the info overload. She’s tearing everything apart, warping like a maniac with Nyx at her side, trading off with him like she was born to it. He catches a glimpse of what look like battered Chieftain Kukri’s in her hands but then they’re gone and replaced by a great sword twice her side to cleave right through a mech’s leg. Nyx and Nox are a two-person army of destruction.

-After the battle, when all the Sentinels are being calmed by their Guides, Tredd notices it takes Nyx a lot longer to settle Nox and realizes she was pushing her senses past their limits in that fight and still didn’t falter. Anger fades to simmering resentment and a grudging respect that will eventually be replaced by genuine respect the more Nox proves herself, but that’s a story for another time. for now, he thinks that ... well. At least if they had to lose the Last Ulric, they lost him to someone as powerful and Feral as Nox rather than some delicate flower that was afraid to use her gifts and fight.

-Luche is ... of similar but more muted opinion to Tredd. Anger at losing the Last Ulric (their friend) to an Outsider, surprise and suspicion when she joined the glaive, then awe at her power levels, but magical and Sentinel. Luche is more observational than Tredd though, so his resentment fades faster the more he comes to the stunning realization that Nox CARES. About all of them. She is actually monstrously protective of the other glaives and it ... doesn’t seem like a side-effect of being bonded to Nyx (though Luche’s sure that helps).

-Eventually he catches a glimpse of her many scars and hears more rumors about what Nox’s life pre-Citadel was like and realizes that she’s a refugee just like them. She just got lucky (for a certain definition of lucky) to have royal blood to send her right to the top rather than down to the slums. That and Axis slap some sense into him and proudly point out the Arra braid in her hair, so that kinda smooths over the last “an Outsider claimed our Ulric” feelings.

-Axis is Nox’s Shield at this point, for all he’s a Sentinel too. So he’s just glad that Nox has a Guide now, and that it’s Nyx. Nyx is a good man, a fellow Galahdian, a safe man. Axis has watched helpless as Nox crumbles beneath the power of her Zone-Outs enough time to not really care about anything else. Then she joins the Kingsglaive and he could STRANGLE HER. He signs up the next day so he can watch her back (and the backs of Tredd and Luche, who are ALSO IDIOTS no matter that Luche is the Braincell of their trio).

-Crowe thinks Nox is dangerous. That’s a compliment. She also thinks within minutes of watching them interact that Nox and Nyx are two of a pair. She’s heard the nasty rumors about Nyx taking “advantage” and hates them, but privately she thinks that if these two aren’t married by the time Nox is 23, Crowe will eat her favorite shoes. Because even at 15, Nox is already too mature and wise for all her reckless abandon, she and Nyx click in a way Crowe can tell could easily be something more once she’s actually of courting age. Her respect for Nox goes up a few notches when Nox joins the glaive, then up some more when she sees how easily Nyx and Nox fall into sync in training and actual battle. It’s actually a thing of beauty, no matter what Lib stresses over.

-She still teases Nyx for pulling an Ulric to find his Guide though. She is the sister of the group, she has a job to do and that is to tease the idiots.

[imaginationcemetary]

Angst queen again. Omg your hcs are amazing. I found my new favorite Tumblr blog. Anyways, NM, Dream, Ink, and Error when (the kid is in their teens and can travel aus) runs away? Reactions is they find them both dead and alive? Thank you! And also have a boy 🦔

Awwwww thank you darling, high compliments! I’m glad you think I’m up to snuff, it really makes my day! *Snuggles the boy!* 🦔 What a cute spikey ball of doom. He can be the new conductor of the angst train. Choo choo~!

Sorry it took so long to get this one out, tumblr was having some issues and it ate the response I was working on so I had to start over. Hope this is worth the wait! (Got your other ask, don’t worry, I’m working on that one too)

Ink’s child runs away:

Ink isn’t worried, this isn’t the first time one of his kids have decided to take a joy ride through the au’s. He found the last one no problem after all. They probably just got bored and wanted to have a little fun. He takes a moment to think of all the most likely au’s his kid could have gone to first and then gets in contact with his allies to wrangle them into helping him look for them.

Best case scenario, he finds his kid in one of the tamer au’s, causing mischief and making friends. He’s have a talk with them about why they left, and proper dimension hopping safety procedures. He’ll make sure they talk to him before they decide to run off on an another adventure, and probably invite them out on more of his own so they don’t feel left out.

Worst case scenario? Ink heads to the place he found his last runaway kid…with Error. He gets there too late, just in time to find the poor kiddo already dusting. They regret running away and reach out for him, asking for help with their last words. This isn’t fun anymore, they think. Ink’s face goes blank as he’s overwhelmed with his failure to protect his kid, hand reaching out for theirs just as their dust starts to fall. One job. He has one job and he fucked it up. He leaves the pile of dust and starts hopping through au’s, hoping to find an au version of his kid to bring home with him.

Error’s child runs away:

I could think of a lot of reasons Error’s kiddo might run away. They could be fighting, the kid could feel neglected, maybe they just want the chance to see something great happen before their dad comes around to ruin it. What matters though, is that Error has that moment of pissed off concern that any parent that gave half a shit about their kid has when they can’t find them. He gives it a little bit of time, hoping they’ll come home on their own before he goes out looking for them.

Best case scenario, the kid comes home on their own, safe and sound. They’ll get grounded of course, but Error will be more relieved to see them than upset.

Worst case scenario? Error can’t find his kid while he’s out searching and they don’t come home on their own. In an anxiety induced rage he goes on a destructive rampage destroying au after au. He accidentally deletes the coding for the au his kid was hiding out in and never finds out where they went.

Dream’s kid runs away:

Dream would panic the moment he realized that his kid wasn’t anywhere to be found. But they’re a teenager right? They usually have their phone on them, so he calls them and texts them trying to get into contact with them, hoping they only forgot to tell him they were going out. No such luck, they don’t answer any of his attempts to reach out to them. He goes looking, first in the softer au’s, then the more dangerous ones. The kid probably ran away because they felt like Dream babied them too much.

Best case scenario, Dream finds his kid hanging out and taking shelter somewhere safe. They have a long talk about why the kid ran away and go home together. The kid is snuggled to death and Dream would try to stop babying them so much.

Worst case scenario? The kid wanted to help. They wanted to do what their dad does but he didn’t think they were old enough to do dangerous things like that. They snuck out and tried to play hero but it wound up biting them in the ass. Dream finds a pile of dust and their favorite coat after hours of searching. He’s absolutely heartbroken and the guardian of hope finds that he has none left. Tendrils of grief, despair, guilt, and self hatred plunge into his golden soul, corrupting it.

Nightmare’s kid runs away:

Nightmare is not the easiest guy to be around, he tries his best, but he’s just such an ass sometimes and little things tend to get out of hand with him. His kid might’ve run away because they were tired of having so many harsh and complex feelings without anyone to talk to them about. Nightmare would blame himself entirely and internalize this as just another reason why he’s the worst. He’s such a bad guy even his own kis wants nothing to do with him. He’ll spend a bit feeling sorry for himself before he guilty himself into getting off his ass to go look for his kid.

Best case scenario, he finds them with uncle Dream, talking about their problems in a way he couldn’t help them with. The kiddo is convinced to go home, but Dream offers to take the kid out once a week so they don’t feel like they have no one to talk to, and Nightmare tries to work on his communication skills.

Worst case scenario? The kid winds up in one of the seedier au’s and someone lures them away with the promise of a kind ear to listen with. Instead the kid gets kidnapped by the creep and murdered. Nightmare finds out when he’s passing through searching because the person was bragging about it to one of their buddies. Nightmare flies off the handle and spears them both through the gut with his tentacles, watching the life drain from their eyes. He doesn’t stop there though, he goes on an absolute rampage, spearing and ripping anyone in the vicinity apart until there’s no one left and he’s kneeling on a dirty street corner surrounded by dust and viscera crying his heart out.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 244: Have You Read This Book

Previously on BnHA: Deku visited his mom on New Year’s Eve and was all “here’s a new letter from my ever-expanding fanclub of adorable preschoolers whom I saved from trauma” and Inko was all, “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU IZUKU I FEEL LIKE I DON’T HAVE TO PROTECT YOU ANYMORE” because she doesn’t watch the news at all or keep track of ominous plot developments I guess. The next morning, a.k.a. New Year’s Fucking Day, while other kids their age visited shrines or sat at home watching TV, Izuku, Shouto, and Katsuki were bussed off to go be child soldiers at Endeavor’s hero agency. Katsuki was all “HEY ENDEAVOR YOU’RE KIND OF A DICK,” and Endeavor was all “SHOUTO IS THIS VULGAR AND PUGNACIOUS YOUTH REALLY YOUR FRIEND” and Shouto was all “TOO LATE DAD, YOU SAID!!” and Endeavor hmmphed and booked it out of there and the kids all followed him and there was this old dude with a beard floating around screaming about END TIMES!! and Hawks was there and, what?? Seriously does anyone actually know what’s going on?

Today on BnHA: Endeavor chases down the old man (who may in fact be an actual prophet, though? Horikoshi what games are you playing) and sets him on fire and tackles him and it’s all very violent. Hawks then appears out of nowhere and breaks up BakuDeku’s tag team effort all “SAVE IT FOR THE MOVIE YOU TWO!” and is then all “hi Shouto” and “hi, you must be Midoriya, Tokoyami told me all about you, I wanted to work with you too, BUT -- [stares off angstily into the distance].” Then, because I forgot that Hawks never shuts up, he’s all, “Hey Endeavor have you ever heard of this book, ‘Paranormal Liberation Front’? Don’t let the really dumb-sounding title put you off, it’s actually a rousing tale full of hidden clues about all the bullshit I’m actually up to. I highlighted the relevant portions if you can’t be assed to read it, well anyways, Hail Hydra.” “Well that was a strange conversation,” Endeavor thinks to himself as he stares uncomprehendingly into the void. Sob someone please help them why are they so bad at this oh god.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

so thanks to that little stunt Horikoshi pulled two weeks ago, our chances of finding out Bakugou’s hero name any time within the next dozen chapters are slimmer than ever. probably he’ll reveal it at the end of the arc instead. it’s like he doesn’t even care about the databook. whatever I’ll have plenty of time to sulk more about it after I get to readin’

anyway the title of the new chapter is “Recommendation”, so... actually that does sound fairly promising, though? am I just eternally doomed to get my hopes up? is this referring to Shouto pestering his dad to take on his two best friends as fellow interns? what’s going on here

anyway so we’re opening with this

I love that it’s the two supposed goody-two-shoes kids who are actually being vocal about blatantly disregarding Endeavor’s orders. Shouto is just not having it to begin with, whereas Deku at least is trying to rationalize his own reckless behavior. Katsuki meanwhile is too focused on doing this fancy kick move to switch his suitcase from his left hand to his right to bother talking right now. reminds me of him playing with the soccer ball as a youngling

also the fact that his case is number 17 and Deku’s is number 18. have I talked about this before? I think I have but it was with some other numbered thing. anyways love the symbolism of him trying to stay one step ahead of him and Deku always being right on his heels. or maybe I’m reading too much into it but anyways rivals, yay

damn Endeavor is really determined to get ahead of them though

uh oh Horikoshi how much action did you pack into this chapter. starting to run out of time to finish all your panels again huh. you had a whole extra week! how fucking insane is this arc going to be holy shit

anyways Endeavor way to leave your brand new interns behind minutes after meeting them for the first time smdh. this is exactly how it went down with Hawks and Tokoyami

okay so like, I know a flash fire is an actual thing, but for a second I started wondering if in this kind of context (with him speeding off), it might also be a reference to the DC hero. then I remembered that the name of Endeavor’s technique is different in Japanese and the pun probably doesn’t translate. ah well

anyways dude is fast. but I wouldn’t count the kids out yet, they’re all pretty fast too!

so now we’re back downtown with Old Man Doom And Gloom, and oddly enough it seems that this isn’t actually an out-of-the-ordinary occurrence?

fucking quirk society. you guys are just so desensitized to the most bizarre fucking things. but I guess we in the 21st century are hardly ones to talk ourselves sigh

anyway now he’s being a bit more extra than usual and they’re starting to worry

?? the fuck is that? that sure as hell isn’t Hawks or Endeavor lmao. IF IT’S SLIDIN’ GO I SWEAR TO GOD

or wait, is it still the old man talking? should I actually be paying attention to his ramblings, my bad

is that a fucking Spirit Bomb

(ETA: in truth this is the most badass attack name that has ever existed or will ever exist and I should give it its proper due actually.)

so now I guess he’s hurtling it at them??

...hold up one sec

“revelations from the universe, I have received. flee, flee good citizens. the Dark Lord’s lips curl into a wicked crescent” -- holy shit, this all tracks?? IS THIS DOOMSDAY CRACKPOT MOTHERFUCKER ACTUALLY RIGHT ON THE FUCKING MONEY HOLY SHIT. ARE YOU A WITCH GOOD SIR. DID YOU WRITE A BOOK OF HIGHLY ACCURATE AND DEVASTATINGLY WITTY PROPHECIES BY ANY CHANCE

“the end is nigh! the wicked stars are conspiring against us! we must stop them! the earth is on the verge of being engulfed by darkness! flee, my fellow citizens! I am the one who shall destroy this source of darkness! be revealed! servants of the dark lord, come forth!”

okay listen. if he’s aiming this fucking thing at Hawks, though, after a speech like that? fuck it, I’m a believer. I’m sorry old man, I wrote you off without a second thought and here you are being the only one who’s actually like “HELLO!!!? PEOPLE!!!? THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS!!?! THEY HAVE AN ARMY!!? AND NOUMUS!??! FUUUUUUUUCK”

and I don’t know where you’re getting your information, but those are some legit-ass universe revelations. fucking even talks about the “Dark Lord” specifically only describing his lips. because he doesn’t have anything else to describe nowadays, face-wise. shit that is spooky

anyway so that sure was unexpected. let’s see what shenanigans Master Roshi here is gonna get himself into next

did my boy just get fucking flashfired. jesus Endeavor show some fucking mercy

...

someone want to explain to this man the concept of a proportionate response? anyone? ...

fucking Todorokis I swear to god. if they weren’t all so good at being amazing superheroes, they could easily fall back on a career of being dramatic bitches for hire instead

anyways when did Endeavor change his clothes. this dude was wearing a turtleneck and slacks thirty seconds ago. did he literally just burn them off. how. what. fucking plot holes left and right

lol imagine if like on the next page the interns finally catch up and they’re like holding his fucking jacket and looking peeved

-- holy fucking shit, Endeavor

not cool, dude!! what the fuck. this isn’t a fucking Noumu for fuck’s sake THAT IS A HUMAN PERSON

(ETA: I guess he ended up being okay, but shit, for a moment it looked like we were going full blown Raiders of the Lost Ark over here. anyways the moral of this story is that Endeavor is terrifying, fuck.)

so now of course Nostradamus is trying to get the fuck out of there, because if he sticks around Endeavor apparently has no qualms about burning him alive. fuck me Endeavor, I’m still rooting for your redemption arc my dude, but tbh if Dabi happens to pop up out of nowhere here looking for some revenge I’m not gonna say no to it right now. quit burning people alive!!

so now 12/21/2012 is zooming down an alley and Endeavor is zooming after him and telling some extra with a sword to stay and lead the evacuation

oh??

Endeavor have you flown yourself right into a trap?

oh my god what the fuck is this

it’s like Dabi VS the Liberation Army all over again. fucking check all these motherfuckers who apparently want to get themselves deep fried. this one guy really thinks he’s going to clock the Number One with a piece of fucking PVC pipe

LMAOOOOO

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES A RUCKUS, BOYS! you better believe I have the Powerpuff Girls theme song playing in my head right now

-- !!!

HAWKS!! I WAS STARTING TO WONDER IF YOU REALLY WERE THERE TOO OR IF THE PANELS IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER WERE DELIBERATELY MISLEADING

LOOOOOOL

pour one out for these poor sobs who somehow got themselves caught up in an accidental pincer attack between the dynamic fucking duo and fucking Angry Bird here. where the fuck is Shouto btw. or is he the one that got stuck carrying Endeavor’s jacket

loool look at Hawks out here making friends

SURPRISE BITCH

oh my god though you guys look at this??

HELLO SURPRISE NEW FAVORITE SERIES OF PANELS, CAN I JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO LOVE ON YOU A BIT HERE, BECAUSE

1. Bakugou and Deku IN PERFECT SYNC, not even thinking about it. just effortless. that was an amazing tag team thing you guys had going on before SOMEONE stepped in and ruined it all omg. do you want me to talk to Hawks for you. I’ve been meaning to discuss some other things with him anyway so it’s not like it’d be going out of my way. can you believe this fucking pigeon blocked my number. WHERE IS JEANIST YOU BASTARD

anyways 2. “I thought Endeavor might have been in a tough spot” that’s a funny way of saying “I was lonely and missed my angry arson dad”! and fucking look at this ridiculous bantering between them. “did it look like I was in a tough spot?” I FUCKING CAN’T YOU GUYS PLEASE STOP

and 3. Shouto just watching. is he impressed by his dad? or just trying to figure out whether Hawks is his dad’s adopted son or boyfriend. I’m pretty sure it’s the former, Shouto, but I don’t blame you for being confused, Hawks just has that kind of energy with everyone

oh my god

somebody arrest this man. I can’t fucking deal with your cheeky fucking face Hawks

is Skeptic getting all of this?? are they sitting there with bowls of popcorn back at the League of Pliff HQ trying to figure out whether Endeavor and Hawks are dating

...and shit, I just realized the League officially knows now that the disaster trio is interning with the number one. so that’s fucking great. not that it would have been a secret for long, but still, things are officially starting to get real. in hindsight, after the Kamino arc we had a nice long stretch of chapters in which Deku, Kacchan, and Shouto were not in immediate danger from the main fucking villains, so that was nice while it lasted I guess. those days will soon be behind us

ahhhklkljkl

fucking shit Hawks could you be any more ominous. oh my god this arc really is going to kill me

so now we’re cutting away to somewhere. Pliff?

-- oh, nope, still in the same place, we just fast-forwarded to the part where the police came to haul all the bad guys away

and now the manga is being all clever and foreshadowing-y and would you look at this

BUT IS HE TALKING ABOUT ENDEAVOR, OR HAWKS omg. or hell, he could even be talking about Deku. or AFO even though he’s not actually there. point is, you know he’s not actually wrong. but what is he actually trying to tell us ahhhhhh Servant of the Stars please reveal your secrets

(ETA: in all seriousness you guys, I’m fully down for counting this as a prophecy. it’s already canon that future-seeing quirks are a thing, so. the only problem is that this is some Game of Thrones-level ambiguity as far as who he’s actually talking about. it seriously could be anyone. anyways at least we’ve got some shiny new theory material to play around with here so that’s nice.)

LMAO

HAWKS YOU BASTARD, JUST LIKE THAT I’VE FORGIVEN YOU FOR THE FUCKING JEANOCIDE

how does every single person Deku meets not greet him this way?? I sure as hell would. “well if it isn’t the kid who just. fuckin blew up his own hands on live television, multiple times. salutations”

anyways where’s Katsuki, the boy whose previous hero mentor you murdered in cold blood but he doesn’t actually know that yet. when are we gonna start in on that?

Hawks says he’s heard about Deku from Tokoyami. and he even says he would have liked to work with Deku too, wow. that’s high praise

ffffff here it comes, THAT GOOD HAWKS ANGST. WE WERE WAITING FOR THIS BUT IT’S STILL BRUTAL GAH

is this entire arc just going to consist of Hawks saying cryptic things with double meanings known only to him and then glancing sideways at the camera all broodingly omg

AH, THERE HE IS

Katsuki’s natural instinct to dislike 100% of newcomers on sight might work out to his advantage here. Hawks’s maxed-out Charisma stats VS Katsuki’s middling Perception stats which nonetheless have a tendency to land high whenever he performs an ability check! I might need to back off from this metaphor though before it becomes really obvious that I don’t actually play D&D

lol

omg Endeavor can’t a guy just drop in on his grumpy pal out of the blue to make sure he’s doing okay without having some sort of ulterior motive? why are you so sure that Hawks showing up means that plot must be happening. because you’re not wrong, is the thing. but he’s probably just being standoffish for show

holy shit and now Hawks is just pulling out the Liberation Army’s book just like that?? IS HE ALLOWED TO DO THAT

(ETA: “let’s see, what’s a subtle way I can try and clue Endeavor in on the fact that I’ve become an undercover agent in the Paranormal Villain League of Liberation Front Armies. ... ...shit I’m not good at this.”)

and since when was this book called “Paranormal Liberation Front”?? did they change the title to match the new name?

and what’s Hawks’s game here, though? is he going to play it as though he’s secretly investigating Pliff? you know, like he actually is doing? is this some kind of hiding in plain sight thing or what

guys. is Hawks just... actually really bad at being a secret agent. omg

so he’s all “DESTRO’S IDEALS ARE EVERYTHING WE COULD ASK FOR” and lol what. fucking look at Endeavor’s face though

this motherfucker could use a boost of his own wisdom stats, fff

(ETA: swear to god he’s two seconds away from a Katsuki-style “hah?!”)

oh my god

fucking fuck me. he better have highlighted a really obvious section of that book, because otherwise I’m not gonna hold out hope for this message getting across at all. at least we know what that “recommendation” title was referring to now I guess

(ETA: Endeavor: [reading the highlighted section backwards] “‘‘it’s fun to smoke marijuana’!? what in the --”)

loooool

the fate of the world now rests upon Endeavor’s abilities to See Underneath The Underneath and somehow decipher that when Hawks says, “ENDEAVOR I CHASED YOU DOWN IN ORDER TO GIVE YOU A COPY OF THIS BOOK THE VILLAINS WROTE, I THINK IT’S REALLY KEEN AND YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT”, what he’s really saying is, “ENDEAVOR I NEED YOU TO INVESTIGATE THIS SUSPICIOUS ‘LIBERATION FRONT’ THAT’S BEEN COINCIDENTALLY GATHERING A LOT OF ATTENTION SINCE THAT SHADY INCIDENT IN DEIKA CITY WHERE ‘TWENTY GUYS' BASICALLY DESTROYED AN ENTIRE TOWN. IF YOU’RE TOO DENSE TO PICK UP ON ANY OF THAT, I HIGHLIGHTED THE RELEVANT PORTION OF THE BOOK SO HOPEFULLY EVEN AN OBLIVIOUS DUMBBELL LIKE YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT.” jesus christ

at least Endeavor now has some nerdy interns who fucking love to read. hell, Deku has probably already read the book. please help this dumb jock to understand his bird son’s coded message, Deku-Wan Kenobi, you’re our only hope

and that’s the end of the chapter! except that I heard there was a new poster for Heroes Rising that was released as well! how come it wasn’t included here now I have to go hunt it down

son of a bitch is this really the best quality that’s available? damn

well all right. not really much going on here that’s a big revelation or anything, aside from the surprise inclusion of Hawks in the upper right hand corner. did we know he was going to be in this? and like, even if the anime does make it as far as his debut in season 4, will it have reached that point by the time the movie premieres in December? glad I caught up beforehand if they’re gonna start spoiling things like this

so that’s all she wrote for this week! databook is due out next week so that should be fun! we’re finally going to get Hawks’s real name from what I understand. so I can start yelling at him using his full name like a disappointed mom. I have a feeling that’s going to come in handy a lot during this arc. go to your room young man

(ETA: and just watch it be the Japanese equivalent of “Judas McMurder” or some shit. smh. y’all. we stan a shady bitch.)

[musutofu]

【 Dating Chronostasis 】

【 Pregnant Girlfriend 】

Kurono was serious when he said that he’d give you your own child to fuss over instead of you continually sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. He’d initially thought to simply go out and kidnap some child he found on the streets for you to keep as a pet the to look after as a trade for you wanting to look after Eri, but Chisaki wouldn’t allow him to bring vermin home even if it was to keep you from ruining all their hard work by treating Eri as a person, or worse, setting her free. Without the option to kidnap a replacement child, Kurono opts to shut you up by impregnating you himself.

Being a man of science doesn’t mean Kurono possesses knowledge about the biological science behind pregnancy. His knowledge and interest in the subject doesn’t go past his physical involvement in the creation of life and the fact that you’re carrying his child won’t make him feel obligated to learn more. His obligations are with researching and developing the Quirk-Destroying serum and as such that is what most of his brain power is dedicated to. Anything pertaining to your health and the development of your child is secondary. He made you quite aware that the only reason he even agreed to take on the task of gathering your child was to use it as a bartering chip in the negotiation for you leaving Eri out of your mind. Because if he hadn’t and you persisted, you could’ve inadvertently dismantled Chisaki’s entire crusade against wiping out Quirks and he’d much rather become a father than see his friend’s hard work go down the drain because you have a conscience. He fulfilled his role and you’ll fulfill yours, and that includes looking after your child from conception onward.

When asked, no matter how sweetly, to buy some obscured food only found in a specific store to fuel your outlandish cravings and ravenous stomach or holding your hair while you throw it all up in the wee hours of the morning, Kurono will deny you. Your pregnancy doesn’t suddenly pause all his obligation that don’t revolve around you and he’ll be sure that you know this after the first time you get upset with him for not immediately bending to your every whim. He never has and you carrying his child won’t change that. He doesn’t have time to be running petty errands to feed your bottomless pit of a stomach and you own hair ties for a reason. If the situation is dire enough that you’ll pitch a fit if you don’t get exactly what you want right then, he’ll send and underling to attend to whatever it is you want even if that means driving to the other side of the city to buy you some imported snack at 3 AM.

The fluctuating levels of hormones and overall discomfort that accompanies pregnancy has an ill effect on your ability to behave yourself in Kurono’s presence. It’s led to him getting angry with you on more than one occasion and he’s only made angrier by the fact that his traditional methods of punishment aren’t exactly viable in your current state. Usually being in his presence while he’s in a sour mood that was unprompted or unrelated to you would be grounds for rough treatment or harsh words just to vent his anger, it’s harder to do when you’re growing a life inside you. Physically harm that he’d usually inflict by being rough with you in bed isn’t possible with your movement being constricted by your growing stomach and your mood swings make emotional manipulation pointless. So for the duration of your pregnancy Kurogiri takes to roughing up lackeys in lieu of you whenever you behave in an unsavory way while with him.

Though he’s always known your presence in the underground made you vulnerable Kurono hadn’t expected it to escalate during your pregnancy. Of course he knew you were the object of many an underling’s desire, he wouldn’t tire you around like a prize horse if you weren’t, but he’d expected the changes to your body to deter them not elevate their desires. Kurono has heard that pregnancy makes you more beautiful because you get a maternal glow but he hadn’t expected the ruffians in the underground to be susceptible to such a thing. Your pregnancy is more of an inconvenience to him than an aphrodisiac and he’d expected the same reaction from the lower ranks. If you’d thought he was possessive before it’s nothing compared to how is is now that you’re pregnant. And while you know his fierce protection is so no one steals his so-called prize out from under him you’ll happily pretend it’s fatherly love. It makes the stricter rules just a bit more palatable.

If Kurono’s visits had been sparse before, they’re nearly nonexistent now that you’re pregnant. Usually he’d come to visit you to relieve stress but his default way of doing so isn’t exactly viable with your current condition. He’ll try to stomach having a normal conversation with you, but your resentment of him has never made you very talkative with him and the only subject you seem interested in is that of your child. Such uninteresting rambling with your added inability to stomach his aloof personality for very long without getting upset when your hormones start raging makes visiting you a very unsavory experience. So Kurono opts to do it only when he has the time and the patience to deal with you.

Willing or not you and your unborn child are going to become a test subject. Kurono won’t initially think to put you in a place that puts the life of your child, and by extension you, at risk but it’s not everyday a pregnant woman with a completely viable fetus growing inside her is wandering around the underground. Kurono would be misguided to turn away such a golden opportunity to test prenatal Quirk removal. It’d be possible to deter him with the promise that you’ll allow him fi poke and prod the baby with whatever he wants when they’re born, though you’re hoping it will be the usually shots to prevent illness but that’s unlikely seeing as his boss thinks having a Quirk is akin to being ill. But if they were direct orders from Chisaki there is no way for him to postpone the experiment. Though he knows Chisaki could care less if it proves unsuccessful and causes harm to you or your baby.

Preparing for the baby isn’t as fun as you’d heard it could be, but Kurono tends to suck the enjoyment out of most things with his deadpan way of doing just about everything. You aren’t even allowed to go out and buy things yourself. He simply gives you a list of items to choose from that he curated from a one off internet search and sends someone to pick up everything that you ask for. Even your child’s crib is built by a stranger. It takes a lot of begging and pleading to convince Kurono to let you out to look for the perfect stuffed animal for your baby. He doesn’t get the high sentimental value you put on a plush toy but will accompany you as a reward for behaving so well the past few times he visited you. And by behaving well he means not letting your hormones make you an annoyance. In the end you find the perfect toy and don’t let anyone else but Kurono touch it, going as far as to sleep with it yourself so they won’t take it when you’re not looking.

Chisaki informed Kurono early on that he was putting himself in charge of the details involving your delivery. After all, you’re in his territory, so he should be able to oversee any and all happenings as he sees fit. He’ll be certain that there is a completely sterile area set up for you to give birth in. It’d be hard for you to have your baby in a proper hospital when Kurono is a known Villain and you’re so vocally unhappy with being essentially kidnapped. It saves everyone a headache if there are as little people involved as possible. That also means your obstetrician may not actually be trained in the area of delivering babies, but Kurono made certain they were at least formally trained in some form of medical care.

Kurono is present for your child’s birth, but just barely. He stands far away from you and silently watches you suffer through natural birth. He’s not particularly disgusted by it as Chisaki has stated that he is, but he’s not interested in ending up with a broken hand if you’re in too much pain. His main concern is that you live and once the doctor decides that you and your child are out of the woods he’ll approach. It’ll take some begging but Kurono will hold the child if you plead with him long enough. It’s not a very loving moment, just a cursory onceover to be sure the doctor didn’t overlook anything before handing them back to you. He may be their father, but he’ll be the first to admit that he isn’t daddy material. It’s why he’s put you in charge of their life because he has little to no interest in it.

[adorajoon]

stalked. (epilogue)

> epilogue of stalked

> an au in which you find a thirst account dedicated to you

> word count: +4k

—

4 Hours after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

You can’t specifically recall the details from the day it happened. It felt like a hazy dream that you were on the verge of waking up from. In a regular situation you would have joked around about astral projecting the entire time, which in itself is funny to think about. But let’s be honest this was probably going to traumatize you for a few years, if not more. Even your primary coping mechanism, humor, wasn’t enough to protect you from the horror of reality. Somehow you had the seedling of a thought, that maybe just maybe this really was your fault.

Breathe.

You took a deep breath and rubbed your eyes. The potholes and constant bumping were doing the opposite of lulling you to sleep. The sky was dark and full of stars that whisked by. You moved around some to get in a more comfortable position but found your efforts fruitless. Again you sighed.

Your huffing caught the attention of Jungkook who had been your personal chauffeur. Even with your back turned to him you could feel his concerned stare. You felt bad about asking him to do this favor after leaving the police station, but he seemed eager to please. Not that you were complaining or anything, it was endearing.

Your destination was home. Home sweet home where you could leave behind the weighing thought of Hoseok and Uni homework you had yet to catch up on. Your house was about a 35 minute drive on a traffic free day. Far but not too far.

You looked through the window watching the stars go by again. The moon like always, was following the two of you. It took you back to when you were a kid when your parents told you about the rabbit on the moon. ‘Tokki’ as they called him would pound rice cakes on the moon. In a funny way, the story reminded you of Jungkook. In some ways he was like a rabbit with his big round eyes and cute bunny teeth. You made yourself laugh as you mused the thought of Jungkook being the rabbit on the moon.

“Hey Jungkook,” you shifted in your seat to look at him. His figure was illuminated by the street lights and moon. “Thanks for agreeing to take me home all late and stuff.”

He shrugged as if it was nothing, “Like I said, don’t worry about.” Jungkook spared you another glance. He put his hand on your hand which had been resting on your thigh. “You went through some Future Diary shit dude, it’s the least I can do.”

He gets a giggle and then a laugh out of you. ”You goddamn weeaboo.”

“Says the person with an anime profile picture.” His hand squeezes your hand but you retract it, indicating your (fake) offense. He continues on with his anime rant “All I’m saying is that Yuno was like ‘I wanna protect you’ and then homegirl nearly destroyed two universes just to be with Yuki...Also give me back your hand coward.”

You could see his point yet you continued to keep the banter/discussion going on. Anything to get your mind off your guilt.

5 hours after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

“Hey, I really don’t want this to come off the wrong way but...I haven’t brought a person home for my family to meet,” You looked down at the glove compartment, feeling a little bashful. “I want you to meet them under better circumstances and when yknow… we’re actually official?”

He nods understanding the position you’re in, “Oh I get you, it’d be weird of me to impose anyway.”

You offer him a weak smile and reach over to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Be careful on the way home.”

“Y/n, don’t even worry about it, I have a black belt in kickassology.”

“Sehun’s thread says otherwise.”

—

You flop onto your bed with a defeated groan. You had spilled your guts to your parents all in one go and all that you really desired was to just sleep or at least forget about your day.

Feeling simultaneously frustrated and exhausted you grabbed your pillow and put it up to your face. You screamed into your pillow with all you had. And it went on for awhile before your tired yourself out. Flipping your body over you stared at the ceiling fan, you didn’t want to feel anything. Yet! Those intrusive thoughts of Hoseok came racing into your mind. His look of despair and pained face printed itself into your mind.

‘This is your fault.’

‘Wait no. Stop thinking it’s your fault because it’s not it was just the circumstances. Ok but wait, maybe-‘

You close your eyes for a few minutes before you suddenly feel the need to text. Typical Millennial. The person that jumps into your mind is of course Jungkook.

You smile at his response and throw your phone at the pile of stuff animals at the foot of your bed. He was a dork.

1 day after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

You sat at kitchen table eating cereal across from your teenaged sibling. They had been typing away carelessly on their phone while you watched cartoons from their laptop. You guess they felt bad for you because they would have never trusted you with it otherwise. You put another spoonful into your mouth as you watched on. Your parents had left for works hours before hence their absence. You had to go back to campus later that day anyway so there wasn’t a point for them to stay and worry.

“Y/N.” They say all of the sudden. You look up to see urgency in there eyes.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

“What do you mean?” You narrowed your eyes at them. It was rare of your sibling to extend to olive branch. You supposed they were emotionally constipated, unlike yourself, so moments like these were rare.

“Well.” They tried to elaborate the best they could, “You went through some stuff, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone...I guess.”

The sentiment meant a lot to you. You needed to hear that. A fond smile found its way to your face and retracted your hand. You leaned over the table, “This is the shittest week I’ve ever had.”

You begin to tell them about how everything started but you end up stopping midway because your phone vibrates on the wooden table surface. Your eyes glance at the screen and you see a notification from Jimin. For some reason your mouth goes dry.

The look of dismay on your face must have been too obvious because your sibling picked up on it right away. “What’s wrong?” They asked peeping up from the other side. Thankfully it was a sincere question, not one of annoyance. Your sibling was (usually) an insufferable dick sent from Hell.

You frowned, “Check your Twitter, I’m everywhere.”

They quirked an eyebrow at you and began scrolling through their own phone. You bite at the inside of your cheek anticipating their reaction to it. “Damn...Better start calling yourself Dick Wolf because you just produced an episode of Law and Order.” They said holding back their shit eating grin.

There was the sibling you hated.

You stood up from your chair, creating a jarring floor to chair leg screech. “I’m not taking this slander from a freshman in highschool, good day to you.”

You had completely pushed the issue of the media getting ahold of your story aside and put it in your repressed feelings box. You would worry about that later.

—

The train ride back to campus was uneventful to say the least. Save for the fucking part when Seokjin, someone you previously regarded as a good friend, texted you from out of the blue.

You sat in your seat staring at his message. In all honesty you didn’t want to talk to him, it would just make you feel awful. But at the same time you wanted some closure, more information. Hesitantly you texted him back, saying you would call him after you got off your train. He of course complied and that was that. Well not completely because your stomach started to feel queasy.

Kim Seokjin, is- no was the boyfriend of your longtime friend Min Yoongi. He just sort of crashed into your life about a year or moreso ago. Your first impression of him was not exactly good, even if he had made your friend happy, you had found him irritating and nosey (particularly in your affairs and gossip about you). You never voiced your annoyance of course and overtime Jin started to grow on you and the rest of your little group. In hindsight you should’ve seen his betrayal coming but again, being the overly forgiving idiot you were, you still saw the good in him.

You didn’t call him immediately, in fact you actually went back to your dorm. When you opened the door you half expected Yeri or Jisoo to come and attack you with questions but that was not the case. It was the middle of the day so no one was there.

You closed the door behind you and took a deep breath. It still smelled like Jisoo’s lavender lotion, for which you were grateful for. Slowly you kicked off your shoes and pushed them aside. As you walked to your bed you saw a little banner hanging across your wall saying, “We Missed You <3.” You had no idea how long it had been hung up but it made you crack a grin. Somehow you’d pay them back later for the cute message. Despite everything they were probably the most patient and understanding.

But you digress. You came in to relax...and call Jin. You sat at the foot of your bed and scrolled through your contacts. Upon finding his name you pause and take a moment to compose yourself.

The phone begins to dial him up. You sit alone in anticipation, you had no idea what he would tell you. You hoped he wouldn’t answer.

“Hey y/n...it’s me um.” Jin wasn’t usually one to stutter with his words, he was usually proper with his speech, “thanks for calling me.”

“What did you want to tell me?” You ask cutting to the point. Small talk would just make you feel awful.

He paused. “Everything.”

6 years before Jung Hoseok’s arrest

It was a month into freshman year, you would say that you adjusted pretty well despite your initial thinking. You had plenty of new friends and acquaintances, mixed in with some old. You were particularly fond of the boy who sat by you in biology. His name was Kim Namjoon, he was pretty cool for an NHS kid you figured. The two of you had plenty of interests like anime and...copying off each other's homework.

Anyway, one day during a free period you decided to stray from the usual group of people to focus on your work. You didn’t know that would be your big mistake.

You saw him from across the room. Jung Hoseok. The boy who everyone told you stay away from. The boy everyone avoided. The sad little boy you would come to know as your stalker.

Now you were never one to buy into rumors, you liked to judge people for yourself before jumping head first into conclusions. You gave him a look over from where you were. Not sugarcoating anything, he looked like shit. Yes, he wasn’t bad looking-not in the slightest. It was just the fact that he looked like he had just gotten in a bad fight and lost. The bruise marks on his neck were what really got your attention. Without thinking you walked over to him.

“Are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone?” You stood over him with a concerned look.

He looked up at you partly startled at your presence. His face contorted into a variety of faces but eventually found itself in a mesh of shock and fear. Hoseok said nothing as his eyes began to gloss over with tears. You cocked your head to the side a little confused by his silence. His eyes locked with yours as a tear ran down from cheek. It was your turn to be startled. He began to cry more and more. Not knowing what to do in the situation you did the first thing that came to mind and that was pat his back. You didn’t know how he would react to that but you definitely didn’t expect him to cry harder. In a panic you looked around to see no one paying attention to the two of you, figures. Not knowing what else to do you gently wrapped your arms around him.

Yes you didn’t know him and you thought he would push you away but to your surprise he weakly wrapped his arms around you and began to cry in your shoulder.

You wish you could say that it escalated into a beautiful friendship after that but it didn’t. Though more friendly towards you Hoseok was still pretty much the same, he kept to himself. You respected his space and let him come to you, it wasn’t your intention to overstep boundaries.

He grew out of his ‘emo’ phase near the end of freshman year and by the next year his personality took a subtle turn. Suddenly everyone thought he was much more cool—not weird. By this time you already had your established friend group but you stayed on friendly terms. Homecoming was evidence enough of that.

3 days after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

When Jin said everything he meant everything. He told you about how long Hoseok had been planning to talk to you outside of high school, how he would shift his schedule to yours, how many pictures he had of you in his room. He told you about the elaborate past plans the two had come up with. Hoseok’s motivation for becoming a cop, which was not to get close to you like you suspected, but for another. Jin disclosed your stalker’s family ties and how his father abused him and his his own mother didn’t even want him. Hoseok wanted to be a police officer to help others like him, or at least that what he told Jin.

The first thing that you had concluded from the conversation the two of you had was that Hoseok had been in fact emotionally manipulating Seokjin even before you had met. It disturbed you to say the least and made you feel disgusted. Disgusted towards him and somehow yourself. You knew it wasn’t healthy to think that way but the thoughts just came in and in. 

Anyway.

It unsettled almost as much as the people dming you about your situation. You knew very well that they were news outlet people or just snooping around. Your assigned police officer Sooyoung had told you about being weary of who messaged you over the course of the next few days. It was understandable to be honest, you were the center and cause of the investigation of the Seoul Police and a stalker case. In addition to that she kept you posted on any new developments in what she called the ‘Jung Situation’.

The two of you corresponded through text mostly on the account of the Incheon Police Department going into maximum overdrive.

You stared at your phone for the longest time looking over what you had typed. It was out of your control.

You sighed and put your phone in your jacket pocket. You were at the front door of Jimin’s place. He alongside Taehyung had invited you over for dinner (he had ominously said dress ‘hoe formal’ so you assumed it would be just more than that). Not that you minded or anything, and it was probably better that you got out the dorms. (Especially when you spent the past few days making up as much work as humanly possible).

Before you even got to knocking he seemed to have sensed your presence and dragged you in. There wasn’t a point in protesting he was about as stubborn as he was small.

To your surprise you see your group of friends huddled up in his tiny living room. Their focus shifts from the TV and onto you. Yoongi, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Namjoon (with his patched up nose) give off varying degrees of excitement.

“Surprise y/n! I figured you needed a distraction from everything so we’re going out tonight!” Jimin held onto your shoulders as if you were about to book it and never come back. He was absolutely beaming.

“Where are we going?” You raised an eyebrow and tried to pry yourself away from his small hands (baby hands as you called them). It proves useless to struggle.

“Yeah I would like to know too.” Yoongi grumbles from the corner of the couch, basically drowning in his winter coat. You don’t blame him it was actually really cold. “You promised meat.”

Jungkook’s eyes lit up at the mention of food and he sat completely up from his spot, “Hyung are we...getting meat with y/n?” He says meat as if it’s a sacred word.

Jimin pouts and takes his hands off of you. He takes a few steps away from you to hold Taehyung’s empty hand (odd flex). “Well I was gonna tell you guys myself, but yes I’m paying for us to go eat and then we’re going to karaoke.” He seemed to squeeze Taehyung’s hand after making his last statement, “Yes I will pay so don’t worry about it.”

—

For the first time in what seemed like awhile you felt like a normal college student. Everything felt okay, and untouched by the heavy reality that was unwraveling around the six of you. Time seems to slow down as you all enjoy your dinner together, the table is filled with boisterous laughs and beer. Even Yoongi who had looked glum before had appeared to be in good spirits. You sort of thanked the alcohol for that.

All sitting around the table you all grabbed pieces of meat from the center of the table. There wasn’t a particular topic in the conversation it would just jump around from school to memes to the time Taehyung brought his dog Yeontan to school with him. And so it goes on like this right up until you all go to karaoke.

It was all shits and giggles by then but you were starting to feel the affects of drowsiness kick in. It was a shame that you were a sleepy drunk. 

While they went ham in karaoke you sat next to Yoongi who was taking a breather because he was partially tipsy. You watched everyone have a good time in front of you. Not that you minded you were perfectly content with watching man-children make a fool out of themselves.

 A little bit into it you saw Yoongi looking more or less sad. “...Are you ok?” You asked Yoongi, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He didn’t give you an immediate response. “As long as I have you guys I think I’ll be fine.” His voice was soft and his eyes were locked on his shoes.

1 week after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

“Y/n.” Officer Sooyoung Park sat across from you at her desk, she looked tired and run down from the overtime she had been working, “I’m glad you could make it on such short notice.”

You nodded, “It was no problem...”

She let out a huff and supported her head on her hands, “So I’m going to be one hundred percent with you, we worked hard for you to get justice while also keeping in mind the circumstances.” she continued to speak, “The judge found Hoseok unfit for trial due to his mental state so he’s going to rehabilitation where hopefully he can improve.”

“And what happens if he doesn't?” You sat on the edge of your seat. 

“They’ll keep him as long as he needs to be there.” She took a sip of her coffee while reading from a manila folder filled with papers on papers. Her eyes looked up at you with an unreadable expression. “I’ve done all I can.”

It was out of your hands now. You get up and thank her for her services.

“One more thing.” 

You stopped, your hand resting on the door handle.

“He told me to tell you that he’s sorry. He was annoying and insistent that I tell you or else he wouldn’t comply with the other officers.”

You just nodded and opened the door. 

Feeling bittersweet about the entire thing. you didn’t intend on looking back.

“Take care of yourself y/n.”

2 years since Jung Hoseok’s arrest

You sat next to Jungkook awkwardly adjusting the top part of your dress. It was hot and sticky and absolutely disgusting outside. You mentally cursed at Jin who insisted on having the outing outside in the first place. Jungkook wouldn’t stop squirming around in his seat either, it was easy to infer that he felt just as hot in his tux (as if his sweat didn’t give it away either).

“Who decides to have their wedding in the middle of May anyway?” You ask making sure to keep your voice to a whisper. “My thighs are melted to the chair.” You weren’t even being dramatic, if you tried to get up your skin would most definitely peel off the plastic chair. Graphic but you lived a sad life indeed.

“We both know Jin is...unique.” Jungkook crosses his arms and slouches in his chair. “And knowing him he probably planned it all without Yoongi.”

The wedding venue was nice enough, it looked expensive and elegant like you expected. White flower petals were littered everywhere you walked and decorative designs adorned any and all inanimate objects. Seokjin was a man of elegant taste what could you say.

There was a brief pause, you could hear the hushed murmurs of the other guests behind the two of you. You took a quick glance around to see some familiar faces mixed in with some not-so familiar faces. In the front you can see Yoongi standing awkwardly in his little suit. Namjoon and Jimin stand to the side as his best men laughing at him. You smile fondly at the sight. Yoongi notices your gaze and sends you a nervous smile. Of course your reaction is to send him an over enthusiastic thumbs up. 

“Y/n, do you think the emergency gummy bears are melted?” Jungkook asked you quietly while searching through your purse. You didn’t notice he had been snooping around until he said something.

Jungkook hadn’t changed a bit since the two of you decided to start seeing each other. He was still a dweeb who annoyed you by calling you mommy. Which was fucking disgusting. You relished your time spent with Jungkook even if you hadn’t officially started talking until the incident. 

Finally he retrieved your shared stash of gummy bears and began to open them. Soon after he did that the traditional wedding song from the organ began to play. Both of you froze in place and waited in anticipation for the other groom to come out. Quietly you both stood up and watched as Seokjin appeared at the beginning of the walkway. He took long strides with the music up to his husband to be.

You watched with bated breath as Jin approaches the altar. Yoongi had the biggest and most child-like grin on his face. 2 years prior you would have never forseen the two of them pushing through their relationships problems. It was almost laughable, the entirety of two years ago felt like a bad dream. 

It took a lot to get to this point you were not going to lie. It took therapy, confrontation, and acceptance of the circumstances, but you were finally glad to say that you and your friends were in a better place. Just a few days back you had heard Hoseok had requested a hearing to be discharged from the institution. 

The music stopped and your attention was now fully on the couple who were starting a new beginning. Somewhere in the speech you interlocked fingers with your boyfriend who was periodically eating gummy bears from his pocket. 

It finally dawned on you--You probably wouldn’t be here if Jimin had never found the thirst account. You wouldn’t be with Jungkook, but rather Hoseok who would still be dangerously infatuated with you. Jin could’ve still been pining after Hoseok, 

Hoseok would have still thought of you as his galaxy.

The notion of it made your stomach turn and you disregarded the thought. Nervously, you fiddled with the ring on your left hand while looking ahead at the altar. Jungkook’s eyes shift from the couple and onto you, he stays silent however his finger runs over the outside of your palm soothingly.

You feel at peace again and your restless thoughts are put to bed once more.

[bugheadjones-the-third]

Title: Unmoored Part 2/2 - WARNING: You can read part 2 without part 1

 Part 1

Read on AO3 . Summary: Betty Cooper has lost everything. She's tired, broken, and yet, she finds herself walking towards him. How's that supposed to feel? How's she supposed to face his broken heart? . A/N: First of all, I’m so sorry for taking so long to post this! Apart from being suffocated by my classes, I kinda just... lost track? I knew my idea would change after I watched the ep, but it changed a lot more than I expected. It changed to the point where I actually had a new idea of how things were supposed to have happened, but I’ll wait until I watch the ep to see if I’ll actually write it XD Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this version of something that could’ve happened! Please, leave me a comment with your thoughts! Make an author happy! . . . Betty couldn’t remember ever feeling worse than on that morning. Her head was throbbing, her eyes were stinging, and it was as if the entire world around her was just filled with voids instead of the usual faces she was supposed to recognize — and even wave at. There was no polite smile gracing her lips that morning, no perfect ponytail swinging over her shoulders, and basically no destiny set in her mind as she walked aimlessly around the small town of Riverdale.

She was in no condition to think, hence trying to make a responsible decision such as going home or writing for the Blue and Gold was just not going to happen. Why should she even do any of those things, right? Going home would take her straight to her mother’s judging words, and her articles just felt like a bunch of useless, lethal words that could pretty much inspire another dormant murderer around the town. Running away to these places would do her no good. In fact, nowhere she went would actually save her from the one thing terrorizing her at that moment.

Her memories.

The good ones. The bad ones. The ones from the moment her life turned upside down and she was left completely alone in that suffocatingly perfect life of hers. No best friend, no neighbor and especially, no Jughead Jones.

Her teeth sunk into her lower lip as the thought returned to her mind— not that it had actually left ever since the decision was made. A life without him was not something she wanted anymore. Hell— a life without his snarky comments or his warm hands was just something she never even considered possible anymore. The truth is, Betty Cooper forgot how terrible life was without him. She forgot how it was to be surrounded by her insecurities 24/7, and she forgot how it felt to be stared at simply for being her.

Simply for being the perfect girl next door, who’s also a straight A student and the new obsession of a maniac who had been terrorizing the whole town.

It was all just too much for her. Too much for a single girl who used to believe good things would come for those who fight for what they believe in. She believed in a better future and — damn, she believed in happy endings. Even after everything that happened around Riverdale, Betty believed in a day when the scars on her hands would have faded long ago and she would go home and find an empty fridge just because Jughead couldn’t—

And there he was, yet again, warming her heart with a bunch of what ifs and that silly smile of his that always manages to make her happy. She has always known Jughead has the prettiest of the smiles, and even if they’ve always been her source of courage and inspiration, Betty knows better than to believe he will ever smile at her like that again. Right now, after what she did, she knew he probably hated her. For breaking his heart like that, the blonde knew he wouldn't simply forgive her. Even if she had told Archie— and mostly herself— that they would find their way back to one another, she didn’t know if things would ever go back to normal, not even after the truth was revealed.

That is, if the truth was ever revealed.

At that moment, she didn’t know if they would ever get rid of the Black Hood. She didn’t know if she would be able to keep protecting everyone, and she didn’t know if she would ever be forgiven.

Betty didn’t even know where she was going at that moment.

And it wasn’t until the first, cold drop of rain hit her cheek that she actually paid attention to that.

The rain was coming, and and it took her some good moments before she decided to look for a proper shelter from it. The streets were empty, now, telling her people were, indeed, worried about that water that was about to fall, for the clouds above her head seemed to be too dark and charged to be just a drizzle. She could feel the storm coming, or maybe it was just the turmoil in her belly, she couldn’t really tell. Either way, townsfolk always seem to worry about such things, and normally, she would, too, but it was not like things could get any worse just because the sky had decided to pour its own sadness over her.

After the rain finally started to fall, Betty finally realized her aimless walk was taking her to Pop’s, and it was as if her mind believed she could find some sort of protection under those neo lights. Her heart ached when she remembered all the good moments she had spent at those vinyl booths, and how that diner had witnessed the last kiss she would ever share with the love of her life. That was going to be the first time she would be going there ever since she was forced to break their hearts, and for the first time, the Cooper girl knew not even her favorite food would make things better.

A painful smile crossed her lips, as she remembered his wise words. Apparently, not all is okay with milkshakes.

A couple blocks later, when she arrived at the diner, Betty was soaked. In the end, the rain had come faster than she had expected, and chances were she took a little extra time on purpose so she could mask her recent tears. Pop was probably the only person left in town who still liked her, and he would certainly notice the track of tears across her cheeks.

He was probably the only one left, and yet, she knew she would have to lie to him when he asked her if she was doing okay. It was going to hurt, but at that moment, Betty didn’t think she had enough strength to tell him the whole truth— not that she was allowed to. His eyes were set on her, and she didn’t want to risk getting more people involved in that sick game of his.

The Black Hood had turned her into a liar. He took away her friends, her family and the love of her life.

But he never took away her feelings, no.

And perhaps, that was the cruelest part of his wicked plan.

When she finally opened the door of the nostalgic diner, the sound of the chiming bells was the last thing she heard before her entire body went numb. Her green eyes were widened, the air in her lungs had disappeared, and the gap in between her lips showed the pure horror that had immediately taken over Betty as soon as her eyes met the bloody scene in front of her.

“Jug…”

Her voice escaped her throat as a painful whisper, as if his name had been trapped inside her chest forever. Her heart ached in an unbearable level at that moment, as their eyes finally connected in a longing, broken gaze. Betty observed him, running her eyes through his entire body as he was sitting on a stool while Pop Tate treated his wounds. Jughead was destroyed— both physically and emotionally— and she didn’t need too long to conclude it was all her fault.

Those bruised lips, the dark circles around his eyes, the cuts spread all over his skin and the hematomas were just corrupting his perfect features, and at that moment, the blonde could feel the anger running through her veins, as she continued to blame herself for the state that boy was in. He was tired and hurt, and god— he was just so visibly broken. She could feel her heart shattering into millions of pieces along his, and her skin was slowly being ripped under a mess of nails and blood. They continued to hold each other’s gaze, and it wasn’t until a cold, salty tear ran through her cheek that the blonde finally blinked, bringing her back to that horrible reality in front of her.

Betty didn’t know exactly when she had started crying— she wasn't still sure if she had stopped since last night— but at that moment, more than ever before, the blonde just knew she wouldn’t be able to hold back any of the reactions of her broken heart.

The strap of her bag slowly slid through her shoulder, and she made no effort to preventing it from falling. The sound of her books hitting the floor echoed around the empty diner, and with one of her hands covering her startled mouth, the blonde took small, careful steps towards the men in from of her, holding back the urge to reach out for his hand. At that moment, she didn’t know if she was wanted around, but Betty refused not to do anything to help.

Especially when she was the only one to be blamed for his current condition.

“ Jug, I-I’m so sorry…” Her lips trembled, as the tears continued to stream down her face. His eyes were still looking at hers, but at that moment, Jughead expressed no reaction regarding her presence by his side. Seeing her didn’t bring a relieved expression to his face, and neither did it disgust him. He was simply accepting her there, watching and drinking in all the changes that had drained her delicate, soft features for the past couple of days.

Apparently, Archie was right.

Unlike what he had brought himself to believe, Betty Cooper wasn’t fine at all.

And it was all his fault.

He knew the rain wasn’t the only reason behind her messed state, for his eyes had seen her soaked by the tears of heaven, and god— Betty looked simply stunning like that. She loved the rain running down her body, and the smile on her face was bright enough to create a rainbow in the sky. Whenever they ended up shelterless in a rainy day, she would always find a way to be happy.

But right now, oh— Betty looked like shit.

And never in his life had he actually seen her like that.

“ Oh, you’re finally here, Betty.” Pop said, as if he was already expecting her to show up. He threw away a bloody cotton, standing up from his crouched position. “ I have some bandages back on the employee’s bathroom. Keep an eye on him, will you?”

“ S-Sure…” She answered, insecurity filling her voice as she got closer, grabbing the bag of ice that laid forgotten on the table. She refused to meet his eyes— too embarrassed, he could see— as she carefully placed the ice over his swallowed jaw. Her teeth were bitting her lower lip, and at that moment, even if he knew he shouldn’t, his eyes just wouldn’t leave her, examining and recording all that was left of the girl his heart beats for.

The bags under her eyes were deep enough to salient the bones of her skull, and he could easily tell she had been crying unstoppably for a couple of days now. A bloody line was trailing from between her fingers, and she was shaking uncontrollably as she tried to formulate a phrase in her head. Betty looked thiner, weaker and even if he was the one all bruised, the blonde seemed to be in way more pain than he was.

Though why did she look like that? Weren’t things the way she wanted them to be? Didn’t she want them done so she could finally follow through with her life without him slowing her down?

She should be happy now. Then why was she so sad?

And most importantly, why did he even care?

She broke his heart. She told him she loved him, and then she dumped him, doing the only thing that could ever hurt him. Betty had made him weak and dependable, and he knew he should’ve known better that happiness didn’t belong in his life.

He should’ve known it would all eventually end in tears and one, broken heart.

Though why did it seem to be two?

Apart from the ache caused by the loss of his girl next door, there were also feelings such as anger, concern and guilt running through his veins. Jughead knew he had to say something— anything to her in order to relieve that press ion building up inside his throat. He didn’t want to let all his emotions out in front of her, so, as always, he chose to mask it all with his characteristic sardonic humor.

It’s his way of coping, after all.

“ Betty Cooper… You’re a sight for a sore eye, literally.” He said, letting out a bitter chuckle.

“ Jughead, don’t do this…” She said, placing a hand on his chest as if to prevent him from falling forward due to the irresponsible chuckle. “ You’re gonna hurt yourself even more.”

His eyes connected to hers, a longing feeling reflecting through them. “ I don’t think that’s possible anymore.”

His cold stare on her felt like a stab, for she knew exactly what he meant by those words. Betty swallowed dry, looking away from him as more tears spilled from her eyes. Her heart felt heavy inside her chest, and at that moment, she just couldn’t simply keep things inside anymore. It was too much. “ You won’t believe me, Jug… But I did that to protect you. I never though—”

“ Protect me? I don’t look safe or protected, do I, Betty?”

“ I know. And that’s why I regret it. I should’ve never—“

“ Oh, you regret it now?” There was a painful smile on his face, now, as he moved away from her. “ And why is that, Betty? Is it because Archie wouldn’t take you? Or maybe you just regret going that far with me before breaking my heart?”

“ Archie? What are you even talking about? Don’t be ridiculous, Jughead! I don’t love him! I love you!“

“ Don’t even try, Betty. I won’t fall for your words… Not again.”

“ I’m telling the truth! I would never lie to you about this, and you know it! You know me!”

“ Oh, do I?  Because I didn’t know you were not okay by my side. I didn’t know you were planning on ending things between us—“

“ That’s because I wasn’t!”

“ I didn’t know I was making you suffer!”

“ You weren’t, Jug.” She was crying harder now, her lips were trembling and she didn’t think twice before placing her hands on his thigh, looking at him from below with those sad, green eyes of hers. “ You were making me the happiest girl on earth!”

“ Then why the hell did you dump me, Betty?!”

“ I did it to—“

“ You weren’t protecting me! I won’t believe this!”

“ You have to… It’s the truth. I-I didn’t know…”

“ You didn’t know what?! That you would also suffer!? That you would be left alone?! That you would—“

“ I didn’t know he was still going to hurt you, Jughead!”

Her words echoed around the diner, leaving the Jones boy completely confused. His eyes were widened, the words he was about to shoot at her disappeared in his throat, and for the first time since the previous night, he could actually feel his heart beating. Her head was lowered, and the tears were falling flat on the floor, and as the blonde sobbed, all he could do was wait for her to continue from where she had stopped. There was something more he didn’t know about their sudden break up, and apparently, that was the cause of her pain. A secret so well kept that couldn’t be but a mere detail that made no difference on the outcome of their relationship.

That secret was destroying her, he could tell.

And at that moment, even if he had told himself he wouldn’t let her explain herself and that he wouldn’t believe her words anymore; Jughead needed to know. He needed to listen to her voice.

“ What are you talking about, Betty? Who… Who was going to hurt me?”

He watched as she tried to wipe away her tears in an attempt of recomposing herself. Apparently, the girl who was still kneeled on the floor of an old diner was still trying to gather forces to continue. “ He told me he wouldn’t hurt you as long as I broke up with you, Jug. He told me he was going to kill you, and I-I… I couldn’t let that happen. Then I asked Archie to deliver you the message, even if I knew it would hurt more. I am so so sorry, Jughead. I thought I was going to protect you… But apparently, I was an idiot to believe him and now you’re here, leading and bruised and it’s all because of me.”

The wheels in his head were turning, as he tried his hardest to decipher her words. Just by looking at her miserable state, Jughead knew she wasn’t lying and that her words were anything but an illusion she had created in her head. She really was trying to protect him from someone, but the way Betty was saying those things just didn’t make any sense for him. There wasn’t only one he that had left him all hurt like that, no. There were a lot of Serpents hitting him last night, and even if some of them punched him really hard, he doubted any of them wanted him dead for simply being with her.

The Serpents aren’t the kindest people in the world, but they would never kill one of their own, and they certainly wouldn’t be motivated by a girl like her.

Hell— Those guys probably don’t even know Betty. There was no way she could be talking about a Serpent or the his initiation.

But if not by the gauntlet, why did she even think he would be physically hurt?

Shivers ran down his spine after asking himself that question, and for a moment, his throat went dry. There was a sudden, ominous presence weighing on his shoulders, and it was as if hunger eyes were set on him. Once their worried eyes met, he forced himself to swallow that feeling away, taking a deep breath before gathering some courage to listen to the answer they were both afraid to hear.

He didn’t want to know who was the man who wanted him dead, and she certainly didn’t want to say that name.

But for the sake of their hearts, the name had to be said out loud.

“ Betty… Who’s the man you’re talking about?"

“ Who?” She lifted an eyebrow in pure confusion. “ The Black Hood, Jughead…. Who else could’ve done that to you?”

At the sound of her voice, all the air in his lungs disappeared. His heart started to beat faster, and for the first time since the attacks started in Riverdale, Jughead was afraid of the angel of death. There was a killer after him, and most importantly, this killer was using her in some kind of sick game.

He was manipulating her and threatening the people she loves to get what he wants. He—

That bastard had made her break up with him.

But why? That was the main question he still couldn’t figure out. Why would a killer want anything from a high school girl? It just didn’t make any sense, at least not with just that info.

Jughead needed more details. He needed to know the whole truth.

And something told him Betty Cooper still hadn’t said it all.

“ Betty… The Black Hood didn’t do this to me.”

“ What…?”

“ The Serpents did it during my initiation as one of them. It was not the Black Hood.”

Her eyes went wide in a fraction of seconds, and fear took over her face. The tears stopped, her hands stiffened, and before she could even move, Jughead held her by the wrist in order to prevent her from running away.

Apparently, he could really read her.

“ Jug… I-I… I gotta go. I can’t be here with you.”

“ Betty… What is it that you’re not telling me?”

“ It’s nothing! We’re done, remember? There’s nothing left to be discussed, now let me go!”

“ You’re not going anywhere until you tell me the truth!”

“ Please, Jug… Try to understand. I wish I could tell you everything, but I can’t! It’s too dangerous!”

“ I’m not afraid of that asshole, Betty! Can’t you see what he’s doing to you!? To Us!?”

“ Don’t you think I know!? I’ve considered every option, and this is the only one I know will keep you safe! I love you, Jug! So let me protect you!”

“ And who the hell is protecting you!?” Anger filled his voice, and his eyes were suddenly glaring at the broken girl in front of him. Before he knew it, all the anger he was feeling at himself switched to her, and it even worried him that he could actually be hurting her delicate wrist. He was mad at her for being so selfish and ignoring his own feelings at such an important time. Jughead also worried about her— damn, of course he did. And now that he knew she was hiding something that could end up hurting her, there was just no way he was going to let that go.

He was not going to let her go. Not again.

“ Look, Betts…” He started, again, once he realized she wouldn’t say anything. His voice was softer, now as he allowed her nickname to roll out of his tongue. His grip around her wasn’t that tight anymore, and his eyes were a lot softer. Now that he had found hope after having his heart crushed, Jughead felt like he had better control on his emotions instead of letting it all out on her. “ You can’t hide this from me. Please…”

The words that came from his mouth hit her straight in the heart, and the way his eyes were looking at her was just making things a lot harder for her. Betty knew she couldn’t tell him the truth. Knowing him, Jughead wouldn’t just be quiet about it, and he would certainly get the Serpents involved. It would be too dangerous and even if she was feeling like crap, she knew things could get a lot worse if he wasn’t alive when that whole mess came to an end.

No matter what, she couldn’t tell him the truth.

But— oh, ignoring his plea was just so hard.

For the first time in weeks, the boy in front of her was the same, sweet and reckless boy that had climbed her window and kissed her. He was being honest and his innocence was there, spread all over his face. He was once again that kind, insecure boy who stole her heart, and at that moment, he wasn’t sure if he was loved anymore. Even if she had told him, his heart wouldn’t simply take that as an answer, no. Jughead needed more than just her words. Hell, he deserved so much more than what she could offer him.

And yet, there he was, begging her to let him in and help her get through that mess. It felt like their roles were swapped, and instead of being the positive and kind half of that relationship, Betty was the one building walls around herself so she wouldn’t affect anyone else who dared approach. She was keeping everyone away, and no matter what, she wouldn’t let anyone in.

She wouldn’t let them risk their lives. Not for her. Not for anyone else.

At least she now knew how he felt.

Once she felt his fingers relaxing around her wrist, the blonde finally allowed a sigh to escape her lungs. She closed her eyes, taking a step closer to the raven haired boy. Their eyes connected after a moment, and for a fraction of second, they were able to share a moment of pure honesty and love like they had only shared a couple of months before. It was comforting, yet heartbreaking, because they both knew what was about to happen next.

There would be no honesty.

There would be no truth.

But there would certainly be love.

With a longing feeling reflected in their eyes, both of the teenagers followed the rhythm of their hearts. She leaned down and he tilted his head up before their lips met in a chaste and honest kiss. He felt his hands cupping her cheeks, and she knew he could feel her scars pressed against his neck as they did their best to hold onto that moment for as long as they could. Lips moved together, hearts beat as one. For now, they were saying goodbye to each other, and even if there were still so many secrets kept in between them, one truth— perhaps the most important one— was confirmed with that kiss.

I still love you

And then, after the unspoken words were heard, Betty Cooper broke the kiss and ran away in the middle of the pouring rain. Even if it was cold and wet, her broken heart felt warmer and her crackled lips softer. She wasn’t fine at that moment, and that talk with Jughead would probably make her cry even harder that night, but it also gave her back the strength she believed to have faded.

She was stronger now. Wiser. She was the damaged, loner outsider from the right side of the tracks now, and she was going to make sure the Black Hood paid for the suffering he was causing them.

He was going to pay. And soon, they would finally have their happy ending.