#ace discourse mention

[aroace-people-are-lgtbq]

if aroace people are LGBT+, this means people who choose not to have romantic or sexual relationships are LGBT+, yes? then that makes The Pope queer. you know your definiton of LGBT+ is wrong when it includes the fucking pope

not involving yourself with sex or romance is valid and ok, but you surely cannot claim that the oppression you face is the same when a) practicing aroaceness is literally a requirement to head the largest religious organisation on earth and b) that same largest religious organisation on earth has for centuries persecuted and murdered LGBT+ people.

if aroace people are LGBT+, this means people who choose not to have romantic or sexual relationships are LGBT+, yes?

No? Why would it? Being aroace is not the same as "not involving yourself with sex or romance." The first is an orientation that fundamentally changes the way I experience the world, and the latter is a choice

Absolutely wild take

-Mod Ama

[knightoflove]

Just so u know if ace discourse comes back I just simply Won’t. I will do what I did the first time: gain a block list that takes at least a few minutes to scroll through with both fingers swiping.

I will simply Ignore people trying to start problems and I suggest everyone else do the same. It isn’t like the report button works on this website, so the best you can do is just let them yell at a brick wall.

[nixisverytired]

Friendly reminder that you don’t owe anyone here a debate.

Person thinks trans men can’t reclaim “tranny”?

Wow, that’s stupid. Block ‘em.

Some asshole believes that trans men are uniquely misogynistic or privileged or whatever fun discourse buzzword they’re using today?

Their prejudice is not your problem. Block ‘em.

Random blogger says trans men don’t experience (insert common form of transphobia here)?

Don’t try to prove them wrong by sharing details of your trauma. Just block ‘em.

The worst offenders aren’t going to change. They’re not going to listen to you, or engage in a good-faith debate. Speaking from experience, showing them any vulnerability will just result in it being used against you.

It’s sad, but these people are stuck in a discourse tar-pit that makes them see their trans siblings as enemies. They have to pull themselves out; they won’t hear a word you say, not when they’ve already made up their minds about you.

Don’t give them a platform. Don’t waste your time and energy on bad-faith arguments. Spend it with people who don’t make misunderstanding you their favorite hobby.

And remember:

Make sure you've blocked fite-club/rittz. Like half of the inane discourse yapping goes away when you do, it's great.

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

it's always a little frustrating to me when aroallo people don't understand or care about asexuality

I know that aroallo-ness has it's own struggles, amatanormativity and heteronormativity hate us all in unique and intersecting ways and it definitely sucks for aroallo folk (especially with how I've seen plenty of people talk about how they get the least explicit canon rep in fiction out of all the aro/ace combos) ...but sometimes it feels like a lot of aroallo people start taking that frustration out on aroace/ace-ness, instead of amatanormativity/heteronormativity and the aphobic/uncaring allo folk who enforce it. Y'know, the people who actually dislike aromanticism and asexuality, and who really don't give a shit about nuanced and varied aro rep.

(presumably there's also alloace people out there who are the same about aromanticism too -- I'm just talking about aroallo people because that's what I have personally been seeing, and I don't want to just make shit up about the alloaces.)

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

... Yeah so, how can you tell when someone has never had any interest in having actually good sex in their life, let alone had anything anywhere near it?

They write a bad sex repulsed "rap anthem" for a fictional character wherein they compulsively need to name drop bad Twilight Fan-Fiction as if it didn't become the bane of every (Asexual) BDSM Educator's and kinky persons existence!

...Was that one other Alastor rap song where he told Angel to sit down before he made him bleed not enough?

I'm not even gonna address the first lines since this a rap song and if you... put that into a racial context .... Kinda cringe? More than it already is!

[thedreadvampy]

that post I rbed about cultures is so full of white Americans in the notes going But How Culture If Bad which like

it's a really good example of a certain mindset in Tumblr Discourse which is like uhhhh

how to explain it

taking a very common and understandable yearning for clarity and stability and surety. and assuming that everybody ELSE has that and ONLY YOU don't.

like in this example. the mindset seems to be. "I don't have a culture which I find rich, rewarding and exciting. I find the cultures other people were raised in look rich, rewarding and exciting. Therefore Having A Culture means having an uncomplicated positive relationship to a culture that enriches and rewards you, therefore I Don't Have A Culture and it's Not Fair."

when in fact. nobody has an entirely uncomplicatedly positive relationship with their culture. most of us have blind spots about what our culture is and take it for granted. most of us are reacting against aspects of our culture and want them to change. most of us feel unmoored and uncertain.

anyway it reminds me of a thing that always bugs me in queer discourse where a lot of folks seem to be under the impression that they're Uniquely Conflicted About Their Identity. like eg how imo a lot of 2010s ace discourse boiled down to "as aspec people we are the Only People To Experience Complex Relationships To Sex" you know?

basically there seems to be this consistent idea that if you had the Thing, your life would be simple and understandable and uncomplicated. and since it isn't, you must be being uniquely deprived. and that's how this "Americans Have No Culture" shit is raging too me tbh.

[tiger-moran]

I just got reminded of that time someone requested a Moriarty/Moran fic from me (which I wrote) and then within a short period of time turned out to be a raging aphobe who started not only posting aphobic shit on their main blog but also started an actual """"exclusionist"""" """"ace discourse"""" blog devoted to insulting asexual people (and possibly aromantic people, I can't remember) and invalidating our experiences and oppression, and I'm still thinking about how it was just kind of mind boggling that... you were quite happy to get me to write fic for you for free but then you do this? You know I'm asexual right and you know I've written Moriarty as asexual pretty much all along right? Right?

[starswallowingsea]

how do u take a post about how people treat aro and ace characters in media/headcanons and make it only about ace people.

[unrestrainedbalderdash]

Stop blaming sex negativity on sex-repulsed aces challenge [impossible]

[captshipper]

🌿 I'm honest 🌿

[spacefuneral]

the thing i will always hate about ace discourse is that people, especially people on the pro-ace side of things, love to equate sex/touch repulsion with asexuality. like, no, asexuality is defined by no sexual desire toward other people - sex repulsion may come with it, but there's very much asexual people who have sex with their romantic partners even if they don't feel that desire. i'm extremely sex repulsed but i'm not asexual because i have sexual desires - I may not pursue them, but I am horny for people of all kinds regardless.

ya'll can have your lil' headcanons and shit about characters, but to limit asexuality to sex/touch repulsion just shows you do not understand the nuances of sexuality at all and should maybe, perhaps, read a single thing outside of fandom spaces. maybe learn absolutely anything about sex that isn't on tumblr or reddit. just a thought.

[curseof-thefold]

hi, i'm really fucking bitter about ace discourse and i will not let anyne forget about it bc ultimately it's just the blueprint for how discourse has worked ever since, bc radfems have one (1) unique script

so from time to time i'm going to remind you all about some stupid "argument" aphobes had

for today

remember when radfems were saying that corrective rape was a lesbian exclusive experience, and anyone else claiming they went through it was lesbophobic, especially aces, who should have been grateful for the chance to be fixed?

i sure do

and by god i'm not gonna let anyone forget this

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

You know what? All tea no shade but just like ...

Why did "Asexual Alastor Appreciation Week" not only have to take place during the only Sex Worker Character's in the shows birthday month, but need to kick off on Angel Dust's birthday, specifically?

You guys really hate Angel that much and conflate blatant whorephobia with ace positivity that much, you couldn't have picked literally any other month to 'appreciate' Al's aceness as if he doesn't already get all the attention as THE Fan Favorite Character 24/7/365?

Like, you couldn't have just picked No Nut November to celebrate Al being ace, like it had to start on the horny Sex Worker character's birthday...

Like at least No Nut November would've been better cause it's closer to all that Over The Garden Wall aesthetic shit or whatever... Angel must really be a joke to this fandom.

I'm just gonna say it... I know none of these characters are real, but it's giving kinda the same vibe as what chalastor starco 2.0 truthers did to Medrano on her birthday.

And I just checked Angel's main tag to make sure no one was being particularly annoying about this and it turns out there were thankfully just two radiodust posts of the boys sharing micro flag cake together but it's like still...

Angel can't have nothing to himself? He gets an admittedly objectively bad "birthday remix" of his trauma song and then he has to share the first week of his birthday month, and his birthday, with Alastor because y'all couldn't keep the deer out of the spotlight for 5 seconds? You all feel uncomfortable when we are not about Bambi? And who made that decision to have it start on Angel's birthday anyway? smh ... 💀

[pwurrz]

oh my dni is a little outdated.. all the more reason to work on my carrd!!

[heckling-hydrena]

I have a complicated relationship with the concept of microlabels and more specifically aspec microlabels, because on one hand I have nothing against people who want to use a term that more closely describes their experiences it's literally none of my business good for them etc. but on the other hand I do think that sometimes people feel pushed to use microlabels because there are sooo many misconceptions about what asexuality and aromanticism actually are. so for example people who are just discovering their identity will try to connect with other aspecs, realize their experiences don't fully match every other aspec's experiences and get insecure, and that leads to interactions like "is it normal that I'm aromantic but I like shipping and romcoms?" "that actually means you're aegoromantic!" like it doesn't have to! it literally doesn't have to you don't have to identify as aego you can just call yourself aromantic! I feel like it would be way more productive to put effort into dispelling the idea that there's a 'proper' way to be asexual/aromantic instead of creating a microlabel for every experience that doesn't match common stereotypes.

and I'm gonna talk about asexuality specifically here because asexuality is still talked about so much more often (sorry to the aroallo warriors out there) but we've, and I can only assume this is a consequence of the stupid fucking ace discourse, internalized this weird idea that anyone who doesn't 100% fit into the category of 'never felt sexual attraction ever + no libido + sex-repulsed + never even THINKS about sex' either needs to use a microlabel or maybe even isn't really asexual. I've genuinely seen people ask "can I be asexual if I masturbate" "can I be asexual if I think this fictional character is hot" like YES? YES OBVIOUSLY? who is making you feel like you can't call yourself asexual point them out in the crowd for me tell me their name and their home address.

not to mention the fringe group of idiots (and I'll be real it's mostly weirdo terfs saying this shit) who are like "ohhh I feel bad for the REAL asexuals IF they even EXIST because these STRAIGHT people who don't put out on the first date are HIJACKING their community" which pisses me off so bad every time I see it. who the fuck are you to speak for me? keep your forked tongue behind your teeth etc etc.

like idk! people are totally allowed to call themselves aceflux and quoiromantic and fray and litho and whatever they want, but they should never feel like they have to! and it's become abundantly clear that some are being made to feel like they have to.

[leidensygdom]

Okay, here's some ice cold takes for today, because I'm so immensely fed up of seeing queer discourse/people trying to find out which identity is now okay to exclude

Queer people of all identities and sexualities experience oppression for their identities. No queer person is really gaining privilege from being queer in any way. This oppression can change a lot based on many factors. Location is important. Intersectionality is very much relevant here.

The oppression that queer people face will vary a lot based on their identity and on who is committing the oppression, and sometimes it manifests in completely opposing ways. Ace people are often belittled or dehumanized for their overall lack of sexual interest, homosexual people are often seen as predatory instead. Transfems are often hyper-visible, transmascs and nonbinary folk are often invisibilized instead.

The main oppressors of queer people are not other queer people. We're in a cisheteronormative society, and that's the main force against us. Lateral violence can happen, but it's far from being the main form of oppression

Oppression can vary A LOT based on one's country. I know this site is very US-centric, but please be aware that one's experiences can be very different based on a country's laws and society AND language. For example, a few countries that are otherwise safer to be a binary trans person in, don't recognize the existence of nonbinary people because their language does not have neutral pronouns or gender to work with.

Exclusionism has never helped anyone, and has often been used as a gateway to entering hateful movements. TERFs have often mentioned they started out as ace exclusionists, for example.

Exclusionism is often temporary. There's been rises in trying to exclude specific identities from the LGBTQ+ collective for ages, and while they CAN be harmful, they have fizzled over time, again and again. I know it can look dire at the moment for some identities, but trust me: It will pass.

No queer identity makes anyone morally superior or inferior.

People from different collectives are allowed to coin terms to better explain their specific circumstances, and it is ultimately up to people within these collectives to decide which ones are appropriate to use or not, as long as they're not directly using them against others. If you find yourself coining a derogatory term against another queer collective, that's where you need to stop and revise your own bias.

Trying to measure who has it better or worse is really not worth the time. This ain't the Blizzard diversity chart bullshit where you assign numbers based on 30 different factors. Stand with other people in the collective and help each other as much as possible.

Stop with the micro-labelling policing. Really. It's a waste of time.

Give intersex people the space to talk about their own experiences and use the labels and terms they are more comfortable with. Intersex people tend to have a very different experience compared to perisex people, as it is often (but not always!) present since literal birth. Defend them, but do not speak over them.

And maybe the most ice cold take here: Trying to guess what is in someone's pants to determine whether their identity is valid or not or if you care for their opinion or not is literally transphobia 101. I can't believe we've got trans people transvestigating other trans people just to determine whether their opinions are okay or not, holy shit.