#acknowledging that ur friend did something bad while also acknowledging that they aren’t a bad person had no ill intent

[prisonpodcast]

.

[grapesodatozier]

so close to the real thing (closer than you think)

rating: explicit

word count: 6.8k

summary: Eddie's been pining over Richie for as long as he can remember. He loves everything about Richie; especially how much Richie loves touching him. It's a little inconvenient, though. Eddie copes with his pent up sexual tension by constantly checking a porn blog he's obsessed with on tumblr. This guy has the same type of body as Richie, he talks like Richie, his name is even Richie! It makes it all too easy for Eddie to pretend it really is Richie while getting himself off to all of the blog's content.

You'll never guess what he finds out when he starts sexting this stranger named Richie from his anonymous porn blog.

tags: friends to lovers, porn with feelings, love confessions, dom/sub dynamics, bi dom top richie, gay sub bottom eddie, the most oblivious pining idiots in the world lol we love them

notes: this is one of my more ridiculous ideas but I had so much fun with it lol. also as a note you probably should not approach people on the internet the way they do in this fic, but they're just v enthusiastic and everything here is v consensual!! still tho definitely don't take this indulgent fic as a guide on how to approach real people online lmao. okay have fun!!

read on ao3 or below!!

notsfw under the cut

Eddie Kaspbrak’s friends were his entire world; time spent with them meant everything to him. But he also really valued his alone time. He’d always been the sort who needed time to just sit on a grassy hill and watch the trains go by, to catch up on comics in his room, to get lost in Netflix shows or even just his thoughts as he moseyed around his apartment—one he live in by himself, for when these moods hit. He needed time to himself to unwind. And sometimes he unwound by scrolling through some porn blogs on tumblr with his hand in his pants.

There was one blog that he was particularly fond of. There were other blogs more catered to his personal interests, namely blogs that didn’t feature women like this one did. But there was a good balance of genders represented, so Eddie figured he could just scroll past those posts. This guy was worth it. His pictures were ridiculously hot, and his dirty talk was even hotter.

Also, his name was Richie. Which Eddie refused to acknowledge as part of the draw.

It was harder to ignore tonight. He’d been out with the losers, and Richie had just been so touchy. And there was something about the way he'd been talking; his voice was lower than normal, slower in a way that made Eddie’s stomach flip. And his touches had lingered, his hand squeezing Eddie’s hip slow, then lazily brushing against his ass as he dropped it. Eddie could hardly take it. He brushed it off as Richie just being tired from work, but god, Eddie wanted it to mean more. The hardest part was hiding how much he wanted Richie to keep doing it.

There were so many things Eddie wanted Richie to do to him. He wanted Richie to touch him harder, to grab him by his hips with both hands. Richie’s hands were so big; Eddie just knew Richie could manhandle him so easily, so roughly. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Richie’s hands all over him, grabbing at his ass and his thighs, holding his wrists down, making him feel so small. While Eddie would never admit it, huffing at every short joke Richie made, but he loved being shorter than Richie. He loved how safe he felt when Richie held him. And he was dying to know how small he would feel with Richie looming above him, or sitting in Richie’s lap, bouncing on his cock. He wanted to hear Richie talking to him in that low, slow voice, with that condescension Eddie did his best to pretend not to be affected by. He wanted Richie to whisper in his ear and call him all those pretty names he always dropped so casually, all those sweet ones and also ones that were a lot meaner. He wanted Richie to want him.

But it was easier to think about it than to ask for it. He knew Richie had way more experience than him. Well, okay, maybe not way more necessarily, but they were starting their third year of college, and he hadn’t wasted any time. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn’t done anything more than hand stuff with someone else. The guys he’d hooked up with were nice enough, and hot enough, but they just… weren’t Richie.

He supposed this guy on tumblr wasn’t Richie either, but at least he was everything else Eddie wanted. None of his hookups had been so, well, dominant, and that was this guy’s whole thing. He was dominant and a top and into guys that looked like Eddie. He even kind of talked like Richie, and he was apparently pining over his best friend, just like Eddie was. It had him completely smitten. Plus, internet-Richie’s crush had brown eyes like Eddie, and he ran track, just like Eddie did. Internet-Richie had posted once about his dick getting hard watching his friend at his track meet, and Eddie had come so hard that night, his track shorts around his ankles, imagining his Richie thinking those things about him.

Eddie was in bed now, in nothing but his boxers and one of Richie’s old shirts that had been Eddie’s for a while now. Still reeling from the way Richie had been acting that night, he logged into his porn account on his phone and scrolled through his dash for a grand total of thirty seconds before going immediately to internet-Richie’s blog. A thrill went through Eddie’s body when he saw that he had just posted. He’d written, “god my friends gonna fuckn kill me with that ass, i wanna plow him so bad” then reblogged it and added, “reminder that my asks and dms are always open if any pretty needy little subs need help getting off. please come be sluts in my messages.” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that there was a picture, too, one of him gripping his hard cock, his boxers pulled down just enough for Eddie to see the dark hair around the base of his cock. Eddie moaned at the sight. His cock was so nice, so long and thick and pink. And fuck, his fingers. They were so long and slim, almost as nice as his-Richie’s.

Eddie scrolled a little farther down, his heart racing. There were a lot of reblogs, but some original posts here and there, things like, “what i wouldn’t do to have a pretty guy drooling all over my cock rn,” and, “in the mood to get someone dick drunk. wanna fuck a someone so hard they forget their own name.” One that made Eddie nearly choke said, “want someone i can pump my come into whenever i want, over and over again. want a sub i can keep full of my come all the fuckn time.” That post had Eddie getting out his lube.

It also had him thinking about internet-Richie’s most recent post, his post about his DMs being open.

Eddie bit his lip and thought about it. He’d sent internet-Richie some asks before from his porn blog (his blog didn’t have his name on it, just the teddy bear emoji, since he privately thought the teddy/Eddie rhyme was fun and clever, and also it was cute), and he’d seemed plenty happy enough to respond then. Still, it felt like a much bigger step to DM him, to talk to him just one on one. But the more he read his posts, the more he thought about his-Richie and how he’d touched Eddie that night, the easier it was to convince himself to shoot his shot with this stranger.

Eddie just messaged him a simple, “hi,” with a heart emoji. It was innocent enough, but his heart was still racing.

Internet-Richie responded a lot faster than Eddie was expecting. Honestly he hadn’t been expecting a response at all. But he said:

hiya cutie (; ive been hoping youd message me

Eddie flushed. He couldn’t help but hear cutie in his-Richie’s voice—especially given how often Richie used the nickname. really? he typed back.

fuck yes, ur cute little messages make me so hard. i can tell ur a pretty little thing just from the way you type

Eddie was blushing deep. Pretty little thing. That was hotter than it should’ve been. He wanted his Richie to talk to him like that, in that deep, sleepy voice.

there’s no way you can tell that from some messages :P, Eddie sent.

His heart stopped at the next messages internet-Richie sent.

oh, u dont think so?

why dont u send me some pics to prove me wrong (;

Oh my god, Eddie thought, his breath coming short. His head swam at the thought of sending this guy nudes, of showing himself off to someone who clearly wanted to see him, who would know how to take care of him and fuck him the way he liked, a guy with his crush’s fucking name and body type and hands. It had Eddie’s cock hard and leaking, and he slowly slid a finger inside of himself.

But just because the thought turned him on didn’t mean he was gonna send this stranger what he wanted so easily, even if he desperately wanted to.

you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

He fingered himself open as he waited for a response, working his way up to two fingers. It was nearly impossible to ignore his cock, but he didn’t want to come before the conversation even had a chance to start.

fuck ya i would, internet-Richie responded. Then, in a second message, whats wrong baby? you shy? ill show u mine ;)

Eddie's breath caught. God, this guy even made stupid shit sound hot, just like Eddie’s Richie. This was unreal.

i’ve seen yours, Eddie pointed out.

ya and you musta liked it if ur messaging me rn

Eddie bit his lip. ...maybe

aw thats cute sweetheart. u know i can see all the needy little tags you add when u reblog my stuff right?

Eddie blushed. He’d kind of always hoped he’d read them, but he never thought he actually did. i didn’t know you read those

oh ya, read them, jerk off to them. bit of a size queen, aren’t you? ;) it’s cute. makes me so fuckn hard when u talk abt how u want me to fill you up

Eddie whimpered out loud, sliding a third finger into himself. Fuck, he wanted that cock inside of him so bad. But right now one of his toys would have to do, once he was stretched out enough. He sped up his fingers, getting impatient. Gathering up all of his horny courage, he sent, show me.

what, no please? only good boys who use their manners get dick pics babydoll

Eddie pouted and whined to himself, making quick work of sliding his hot pink vibrator inside of himself—well, as quickly as he could without hurting himself. He moaned as it filled him up, making pleasure spread deep through his body. Slowly pumping it in and out, he reached for his phone. please, he typed, please let me see? wanna know what to picture while i fuck myself with my vibrator. He even added the wide eyed pouting emoji to really milk the whole begging thing. He knew he’d been playing a little coy, but now with the way internet-Richie was talking to him he was getting desperate.

well fuck baby since ur begging ;)

Eddie held his breath as he waited for the picture, slowly rocking his toy in and out, savoring the feeling. He wished it was Richie doing it, wished it was his cock. The lines between which Richie blurred; he wanted to get fucked by either of them, both of them.

What Eddie received when his phone lit up was not a picture, but a video. It was short, just a few seconds of Richie’s hand dragging wetly, smoothly over his cock, but it had Eddie drooling. The room was dark, so he’d used a flash, and it made the mix of what Eddie assumed was precome and spit glisten as the swollen head of Richie’s cock disappeared and reappeared from behind his fingers. Eddie must’ve played it at least five times, fucking himself a little faster, before remembering to say something back. And to take a video of his own. fuck, I want you so bad, want you to fucking ruin me, he wrote back. A part of him couldn’t believe how openly desperate he was being, but he found that he liked it; he liked the way it made him blush, he liked the way it felt to beg, to ask for what he wanted.

Richie’s response came fast: show me kitten. show me how you want me to fuck your pretty little ass.

Eddie moaned at the pet name; casual little nicknames were such a weakness for him. He was already so far gone, just picturing Richie’s cock inside of him, picturing him stroking his cock to thoughts of Eddie. The attention had his cock hard and leaking as he thrust his vibrator even deeper inside of himself, pumping it in and out a few more times before rolling over and getting on his hands and knees. It was hard to take a video from this angle, but he wanted to show off his ass and hide his face. Plus, there was something so hot about having his ass in the air and his face shoved in his pillow, looking like the perfect image of someone desperate to be fucked. He loved the way it made him feel, loved the thought of being so open for someone. For Richie.

He ended up shooting a short video as well, about ten seconds of him sliding his vibrator slowly in and out of himself, letting out soft little moans. He was pretty pleased with the way it turned out, his hole pink and smooth and wet as it stretched around his toy. The angle was a little weird, showing a lot of his room once or twice when his hand slipped a little, but overall he thought his ass looked amazing, if he did say so himself. He sent it and said, feels so good. do you want me to go faster?

As he sent it, he got settled on his back, forcing himself to go slow as he fucked himself while he waited for internet-Richie’s response. It was taking longer than before, and Eddie was getting antsy; it was so hard to drag it out, to not get ahead of himself. But whatever Richie was doing, Eddie knew it would be worth the wait. Still, he pouted as his cock ached, begging for attention.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door.

He groaned to himself and stayed put, fucking himself even slower as he waited for whoever it was to leave. But then the knocking continued, loud and incessant and obnoxious, and Eddie knew exactly who it was. He also knew he wasn’t going to go away any time soon, which honestly made him smile and blush. Richie had terrible timing, but Eddie would never be upset to see him.

Reluctantly, he slowly slid the toy out and pulled on his shorts, leaving his shirt off. He still had a pretty obvious boner, but his horny brain did not mind the idea of Richie seeing it. So he strode lazily down the hall, shouting a performatively annoyed, “I’m coming!” Finally, he opened the door, cocking his hip to the side and giving Richie an expectant look. “Can I help you?” he asked, a small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He had to fight off a smirk at the wide eyed look Richie gave him as he ran his eyes over Eddie’s body.

“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, his eyes trained on Eddie’s cock, which was getting even harder the more Richie stared. Eddie bit his lip and grinned a little, making doe eyes at Richie. But Richie didn’t meet his gaze—instead he brushed past Eddie, his mouth still hanging open as he made his way urgently toward Eddie’s bedroom.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, a little let down that Richie’s hands weren’t all over him right now. But hey, if he was heading to Eddie’s bedroom he figured that was at least the right direction. He closed his front door and followed Richie into his room, where he found him staring at the bright pink vibrator on the bed. As confident and horny as Eddie was feeling, that still made him blush. He was only human. Crossing his arms, he said, bashful now, “I was kind of in the middle of something.”

Richie looked over at him, his cheeks bright red under his freckles. Then he got a glimmer of that trademark shit-eating grin on his face. “Eds, you fucking slut,” he said, sounding both delighted and breathless. “You are so fucking hot.”

Eddie flushed and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help but press his legs together, his eyes brightening. Fuck, was this actually happening? Shit, he needed to think of something witty to say. “You gonna do anything about it?” Okay, that kinda sounded like a corny porn, but he had to give himself credit for even being able to form words just after his lifelong crush and personal wet dream had just admitted his attraction to him.

“I think I already have been,” Richie said, still grinning.

Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”

Eddie was expecting a confession. He was expecting something along the lines of you think I don’t notice how you look at me? or did you really think those were casual touches earlier? What he was not expecting was for Richie to unlock his phone and hold it up, showing Eddie the video he had just taken, the video he’d sent to internet-Richie.

Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.

“Oh my god, that’s you?” Eddie cried in disbelief.

“You’re telling me you didn’t recognize this dick?” Richie asked, swaggering over to Eddie, clearly enjoying himself.

“How did you recognize it was me?”

Richie nodded toward the Thundercats poster on Eddie’s wall, then to the model train that sat on his dresser. “What other guy has decor like that and the ass to match?”

Eddie grinned and shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well pardon me for not being especially eloquent when I’ve just learned that the guy I’ve been masturbating to since I learned how to and been in love with for even longer has been masturbating to me too.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide, all thoughts of getting fucked leaving for a moment. “You’re in love with me?” he asked, his voice as soft as his smile.

Richie was not a bashful person, but the little laugh he let out just then was close to it. “Have been my whole life, but thanks for finally noticing.”

Eddie shook his head and stepped closer, until he had to crane his head up to meet Richie’s gaze. “I love you too.”

Richie’s eyes widened behind his thick frames. Eddie had only seen that look in Richie’s eyes a few times before, but he never wanted to lose sight of it again. He always wanted Richie to look at him like that. But then Richie was closing his eyes and leaning down. It only took Eddie a second to get with the program, drinking in the moment just a little longer before letting his own eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Richie’s.

It started gentle enough, if deep and passionate and intentional. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s bare waist, skin against skin, and Eddie was gasping into Richie’s mouth, his hands coming up and resting against Richie’s chest. He curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt as Richie ran his tongue over Eddie’s lips, just before pulling away. He laughed at Eddie’s indignant little whine.

“Oh, you mean you don’t want me to take off my shirt right now?” he smirked as Eddie tried to pull him closer by the offending fabric. Huffing, Eddie conceded and let go long enough to let Richie pull the shirt off over his head.

“Oh,” he said softly, his voice a little, awed moan as he drank in Richie’s chest. It wasn’t like Richie had never been shirtless in front of Eddie before, but Eddie had never felt like he was allowed to really look at Richie all those times. But now he could; now he could touch. And he did, running his fingers over Richie’s smooth, warm skin, over his acne scars and blackheads and freckles. “Fuck, Richie,” he sighed before pressing his lips to Richie’s collarbones, trailing them all over Richie’s beautiful chest.

Richie gave a breathless, almost shy laugh as he stroked Eddie’s hair. “Damn, Eds, never pegged you as a tits guy.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled, bringing his lips back to Richie’s. They both smiled into it, getting lost for a moment as Richie’s hands slid slowly down Eddie’s sides. His hands lingered on Eddie’s hips for a moment before he slid them further down and grabbed at Eddie’s ass, making him gasp.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s about to rail you ‘til you can’t walk?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Eddie asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Spank me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Richie smirked. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful smack, making Eddie gasp again and fall into him, needing more. Richie’s voice was dripping with adoration as he purred, “Little brat,” and pulled Eddie against him, kissing him again. Eddie went with it easily and happily parted his lips to let Richie lick into his mouth. Richie had one hand gripping Eddie’s jaw and the other on his ass, touching him in a way that exuded a command Eddie was desperate to follow. God, Eddie knew Richie had big hands, but they felt huge on him like this. It was dizzyingly hot. And the way Richie’s tongue was teasing his had Eddie’s knees going weak. His dick was throbbing in his shorts, aching to finish what he’d started, what had been interrupted. When he thought about it all—about playing with himself for Richie, about the video Richie had sent him, about all those things Richie had said about filling Eddie up—he felt himself clench down on nothing, desperate to get fucked. Desperate to feel Richie’s cock so deep inside of him.

“Richie,” he whined into the kiss, pulling on Richie’s belt loops, “please.” He pressed himself urgently against Richie and rutted shamelessly against his thigh.

“Fuck, you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was cocky and teasing, but there was an apparent undercurrent of wonder there as well.

Eddie shoved his face into Richie’s neck and whined, grabbing onto Richie’s wrists without even knowing what his goal was. “Richie,” he whimpered, sounding pitiful and ruined already.

“What do you want, baby?” Richie’s voice made it clear that he was enjoying seeing Eddie this wrecked, and that just made Eddie even harder. “Come on, tell me, use your words.”

Eddie squirmed as Richie held him close, but still not touching him in any relieving way. “I need you inside,” Eddie said, his voice high and soft as he squirmed in Richie’s grip. “God, please, Richie, need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard I can’t even think. Fuck me like I’m your little toy.”

Eddie could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth, and judging by the gasp he heard Richie let out, he’d caught Richie off guard too. But if the hard bulge in his jeans that brushed up against Eddie was any indication, he was apparently just as turned on as Eddie was. Besides, Eddie knew from his blog that Richie was really into that sort of thing too—and, apparently, really into the idea of doing those things with Eddie. The realization that Richie had been saying all those filthy things about him had him grinding against him with even more fervor, kissing his neck with a heated confidence. Richie moaned, and Eddie could feel the warmth of it spreading through him. “Yeah, sweetheart? You want to feel me inside you? You think you’re ready for me?”

“Yes,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie with wide, desperate eyes. He shivered at the new look in Richie’s eyes, the blue nearly entirely eclipsed by how wide his pupils were. He looked hungry for Eddie; Eddie wanted to feel it. “‘M ready, Richie, please, so open for you.” He looked to the toy on his bed pointedly, but Richie only gave a deep laugh.

“Oh honey, that’s cute that you think that little thing is gonna have you ready for my cock.” Eddie’s breath caught; that toy wasn’t small. Before he could gather his scattered brain enough to react, Richie was scooping him up and tossing him on the bed, the toy falling forgotten to the floor. Richie moved Eddie onto his back, and Eddie went happily, pliantly. Richie’s fingers were cool against Eddie’s burning skin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts, slowly dragging them over his hips and down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Eddie’s cock was dripping with precome, his chest flushed a bright red as he squirmed under Richie’s gaze. Eddie been dreaming of Richie manhandling him like this for he didn’t even know how long; he couldn’t help the way he reacted. And he especially couldn’t help the pleased little sound he made when Richie murmured, “God, you’re gorgeous, Eds.” Then Richie was grabbing him by the ankles, gently but firmly spreading Eddie’s legs, and Eddie let out the most pathetic, genuine moan he’d ever heard. “Fuck, baby, you sound pretty. You like when I spread you open?” Richie asked. He was smirking down at Eddie, but Eddie could see how flushed he was, could see the thrilled awe in his dark, hungry eyes as Eddie nodded.

“Richie, please,” Eddie whimpered. “I need you so bad.” He sat up, reaching for Richie’s belt, but Richie easily pressed him back against the mattress with a large hand on the center of his chest. The confidence in Richie’s dominance took Eddie’s breath away, and he stayed right where he was, nice and obedient, as he watched Richie get off the bed and slowly undo his belt, then his button and zipper. He took his time dragging his jeans and boxers off, enough time to let Eddie’s eyes linger on the reveal of the dark hair under Richie’s waistband. Then Richie’s cock was bouncing up against his stomach, hard and flushed and fucking long. Eddie moaned at the sight and fisted the sheets underneath him. He wanted so badly to get his mouth on Richie, to breathe him in and be nice and good for Richie on his knees. But he was also desperate to get fucked; his hole clenched down on nothing at the thought, and then it was all he could think about again. “Richie,” he repeated, whining now as he reached for him. “Stop being such a tease.”

Richie laughed as he moved easily out of Eddie’s grip and climbed on top of him. Eddie gasped softly at the sight of Richie above him, his dark curls surrounding his face, his full, pink lips pulled into the most beautiful smile Eddie had ever seen in his life. He ran his hands over Richie’s chest and sides, marveling at the fact that this was really happening. Then, his eyes flickering down, he tentatively brought his hand to Richie’s cock.

“Oh, fuck,” they said, both at the same time, making them giggle together.

“Fuck, Eds, your pretty little hand looks so cute wrapped around my cock,” Richie teased in a low, rough voice. Eddie shivered; he couldn’t tell if Richie was praising him or degrading him, but either way it made his head fuzzy.

“‘M not that little,” Eddie grumbled out of habit. But he was clearly breathless. He’d never been good at pretending not to like Richie’s compliments, however teasing.

“Aw, but you are, baby,” Richie cooed, nuzzling his nose against Eddie’s and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You’re so cute and tiny for me. I don’t even know if we’ll be able to fit my cock inside you.”

“I can,” Eddie whined, both indignant and impatient. He bucked his hips up, but Richie held him down. He gasped when he felt the warm, soft skin of Richie’s cock press against his stomach. Looking down, he saw that Richie had his cock lying on Eddie’s stomach, showing just how deep he would be once he was inside Eddie.

“You sure about that, babydoll?” While the teasing note was still there, Richie’s voice got noticeably softer as he said, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Eddie’s chest swelled at that. Cupping Richie’s face in his hands, he insisted, “I can take it.” Then he reached down and took Richie in his hand, glowing with pride when Richie let out a low moan. “Richie, please, I want you so bad.”

“Okay, baby,” Richie agreed, turning his head to kiss Eddie’s palm. “Fuck, I want you, too.” But he stalled. “Have you ever… like, been fucked before?”

Eddie flushed. “Well, not by someone else, but I have some toys. I’m not gonna break, Richie.” He huffed, but the way Richie was looking at him soothed any ruffled feathers.

“I’m your first?” His smile was soft, and while his eyes glittered, there was nothing teasing about his tone.

“I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to look away, but Richie pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck, I never thought you’d want me,” he chuckled. “Sorry, that was depressing, I just mean I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, you know?”

Eddie beamed, a small, giddy giggle dancing on his lips. “Well it’ll happen sooner if you stop talking so much.” But his smile, and all of the little kisses he planted on Richie’s freckled shoulders told Richie that Eddie never wanted him to stop talking.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, I know I’m hot but you don’t gotta rush me.” Eddie was still giggling when Richie kissed him, and he could feel that Richie was smiling too. “Where’s your lube?”

Eddie stretched his hand out and patted the bed for a moment, searching. After what was probably only four seconds but felt like an eternity, he finally found the bottle and handed it eagerly to Richie. “Oh, right,” Richie smirked, “you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Eddie moaned as Richie swiped his fingers over Eddie’s slick hole, pressing in just a bit. His fingers went in easily, and he pumped them slowly, drawing little, breathy moans out of Eddie. Richie’s fingers were a lot longer and thicker than his own, and they felt amazing, but they weren’t what he wanted in that moment.

“Richie, fuck me,” he whined.

“Aw, no please? Again?” Richie tsked and shook his head, curling his fingers against Eddie’s prostate, making him cry out. “I told you, sweetheart, only good boys who use their manners get fucked.”

“Please,” Eddie cried. He rocked his hips and grabbed at Richie’s shoulders, at his arms, not even sure what his goal was there other than to get Richie closer, to get his attention, to show him how desperate he was. “Please fuck me, please.” He sounded pathetic begging like this, but that just made him harder. And it made Richie’s pupils even wider as he slid his fingers out of Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Good boy,” he purred. Eddie moaned and arched into Richie’s touch, but he only gave Eddie one more kiss on his cheek before pulling back and covering his cock in lube. Eddie watched, entranced, as Richie’s hand moved smoothly over his cock, glistening and slick. Then Richie was gently spreading Eddie’s legs even further and pressing the head of his cock against Eddie’s hole.

“Yes,” Eddie whimpered brokenly, grasping at the sheets beneath him. “Richie, please.” Meeting his gaze, he said softly, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” Richie assured him in a voice that made Eddie feel like he was glowing. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and entwined their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock inside of Eddie, who gasped at the feeling. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his first time was going to be with his favorite person. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting exactly what he wanted. Love flooded through him, warm and perfect, somehow both soothing and electrifying as he watched Richie’s face. Eddie’s mouth dropped as Richie pressed into him, deeper and deeper and still fucking deeper, until finally Richie let out a low moan and Eddie felt absolutely breathless. The stretch was intense, and he held onto Richie tightly as he caught his breath. “Are you alright?” Richie asked. His voice was strained, but the care and concern in it was clear. “You don’t have to take all of it if it’s too much.”

Eddie wanted to laugh at the remark or roll his eyes, but with how breathless and dizzied by pleasure he already was, he had to admit Richie had a point. “Just need a minute,” he gasped. Richie ran a soothing hand over Eddie’s skin, helping him even out his breathing and relax. The feeling of Richie’s cock twitching in anticipation inside of him had him letting out little moans as he adjusted, getting more and more used to the feeling until he felt comfortable enough to tell Richie he could move. Richie kissed him before he did, his lips soft against Eddie’s, a reassuring weight. Eddie breathed in sharply as Richie pulled back, grabbing at Richie’s shoulders.

Richie immediately stopped. “You okay, baby?” he asked, caressing Eddie’s face.

Eddie wanted to melt. Richie was always touching him, always jokingly flirting with him, but this unabashed concern and, well, love had previously been reserved for dire situations, like panic attacks or injuries. Eddie couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed on his face as he tilted his chin up and kissed Richie. “I’m okay,” he said breathlessly. “It’s just a little different from my vibrator.” They both gave a shaky laugh as Richie nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“Better, I hope?” he grinned.

“Can’t tell yet,” Eddie retorted. Another snarky comment was on the tip of his tongue when Richie pulled his hips further back, effectively sucking all the air—and attitude—from Eddie’s chest. And then Richie was pushing back in, and Eddie let out a moan he couldn’t have faked if he tried, relaxing back into the mattress as his eyes fell shut. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, pleasure and relief flooding through his body. They’d been building up this tension for years; Eddie had figured it would feel good to break it, but it really felt magical, like something had just clicked into place. Feeling Richie inside of him, rocking his hips carefully, feeling Richie twitch as he tried not to lose control had Eddie’s head reeling. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on Richie above him, on how flushed his face was. When Richie met his eye, pressing in deep, Eddie let out a small, “Fuck.”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

Richie was smirking as he said it, but there was something else sparkling in his eyes. Something giddy and awed. Something that made Eddie sigh dreamily, “I love you.”

Richie’s eyes widened for a moment before he pressed his lips firmly against Eddie’s, his hands roaming over Eddie’s body like he couldn’t choose where to put them, where to touch him. “I love you so much,” he beamed, pressing a few more kisses to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie giggled at the feeling, but then Richie’s hips moved just a little faster, pressing him in just a little deeper, and he was back to melting under Richie’s touch, clinging to him as he rocked his hips with Richie’s. “Fuck, you’re so amazing, baby, so fucking beautiful. You look so good like this, holy shit.”

Eddie smiled almost drunkenly at Richie’s ability to ramble even when blowing Eddie’s mind. “Feels so good,” he moaned, his voice breathy and just a little bit higher than normal. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. “Please, Richie, please.”

“Fuck, baby, wanna make you feel like this all the fucking time,” Richie groaned as he picked up the pace. Eddie whined in pleasure at the change, and that just spurred Richie to go faster, harder, until he was well and truly fucking Eddie, both of them moaning with every thrust.

“Oh my god,” Eddie cried, “ohmygodohmygodhmygod, oh fuck, Richie, please.” It felt so amazing, Richie fucking into him like this, but he needed that little bit more. His cock was throbbing desperately, achingly hard; he needed to feel Richie’s hand on him. “Richie, please,” he whimpered, “please, please touch me. I need you, I need you so bad, please, Richie.” Eddie was pouting now, grabbing aimlessly at Richie, his legs still wrapped tight around him.

“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Richie marveled, his voice sweet and condescending as he wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie nearly screamed at the contact, his back arching off the bed. Richie laughed a little, which just made Eddie even harder. The way Richie spread his precome over his cock, twisting his wrist just so as he stroked him had that familiar tension coiling in his lower stomach. “Aw, does that feel good? You gonna come on my cock, kitten?”

“Fuck, yes!” Eddie screamed. He gripped at the sheets as Richie stroked him, his voice washing over Eddie, mixing with the pleasure of Richie’s touch, of his thrusts. “Yes, yes, yes, please let me come, please, please, please.”

“That’s a good boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie could feel himself tipping over the edge at the words, at how low and affected Richie’s voice was. He groaned out, “Come on my cock like a good boy, princess,” and pure pleasure crashed over Eddie like a wave. He arched his back and cried out as he came, his moans filling the room as he squirmed under Richie, grabbed at him, at the sheets. It was fucking ethereal. He felt somehow so in tune with his body and yet so detached, like he was floating. He was barely cognizant of what Richie was saying, but when he put the sounds together and realized Richie had just said, panting, “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Eddie felt like a live wire again.

“In me,” he said urgently. His mind was still a little too scattered for full sentences, but he knew what he wanted. God, he felt like he needed it. Like he needed to feel that connected to Richie. “Richie, come inside me, please.”

Richie apparently didn’t need to be told twice; he let out a moaned, “Oh, fuck,” before burying his face in Eddie’s neck, his breathy moans like music in Eddie’s ear. And then, as Eddie was coming down from his own high, he felt the holiest thing in the world: Richie’s cock, twitching inside of him, then his warm come filling Eddie up. It was unreal, being this close to him. Richie clutching at him as he came. It was even better than the little fantasies Eddie occasionally allowed himself. Richie was here, in his arms, pressing kisses to his neck as he caught his breath. Eddie was stroking his hair and rubbing his back as Richie nuzzled into him. Richie’s skin pressed against his skin, his legs wrapped around Richie’s waist, then falling to his sides, but still pressed to him. Still keeping him close. There wasn’t a single thought in his head that wasn’t about Richie.

Richie pulled him from his dreamy haze with light kisses pressed up his jaw, then over his cheeks. Eddie giggled at the onslaught of affection, still reeling from how fucking hot and euphoric what they had just done together had been. But he happily accepted Richie’s kisses, his heart bursting, then racing as Richie pulled back to look in his eyes. “Holy, fuck,” Richie beamed, his face flushed and blue eyes hooded from the weight of his orgasm, even as they sparkled.

“I know,” Eddie said, returning Richie’s grin as he basked in the surreality of having Richie on top of him, his dorky yet charming smile framed by lips that were red and swollen because of Eddie. His glasses were knocked askew, and Eddie instinctively reached up to fix them. With a sense of wonder, he realized that his touch was allowed to linger this time. He ran his fingers down Richie’s cheekbones, over his jaw, cupped his cheeks. “I love you,” he said. The words spilled out over his lips like he couldn’t stand not to say them. And while it made his heart race a little to say it out loud now that the adrenaline and tension was all worked through, it felt even better this time when Richie’s face softened and he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“I love you so fucking much.” Richie’s voice rarely got that soft, that sincere; it felt like a blanket wrapping around Eddie. It felt safe, secure. It felt like a promise. And if there was anyone in the world Eddie knew he could trust, it was Richie. That feeling of everything coming together came back to Eddie as he lay there under Richie, their lips moving together, feeling light as a feather now that everything was finally out in the open.

[peaches-writes]

full circle

description: even if you’ve only known him for eight years, if you think about it, you’ve actually been with minho for most of his entire life. member: minho / lee know genre: fluff, historical au, vampire au, time traveler au, college au, neighbour au, best friends to lovers au, fem reader, this is a longer and revised version of reliable source word count: 10k warnings: explicit language, mentions of animal murder, war, death, blood, alcohol note: yay a third entry to the seven hundred and one universe! oc from seven hundred and one universe is named shiyeon here while the oc from kart rider is named soojung! + this prolly has a lot of plot holes & is just generally mediocre but whatever it’s fiction lmao + @skzwriternet​

present: February 13, 2020

Even before he saw you on the other side of his apartment door at 9 PM with all of your work materials and equipment, Minho already knew full well that this day was coming. He’s always known most days are coming. He‘s just more excited for this in particular than the rest, given its inevitability that he‘s lived through for almost 600 years of his total 900 years as a vampire. Tonight, as evidenced by the Google Docs displayed on your open laptop, is the night you’d travel to the past for your doctorate thesis and meet his past self for the first time. 

He just didn’t expect this in particular to be on the day right before Valentine’s Day, when he and his two other housemates have decided to make a complete mess out of the kitchen with all of the chocolate they’ve been trying to make.

“Hi, sorry for bothering you at this hour but I was thinking—ew, what’s that smell?” You instinctively and bluntly ask first, sniffing the air escaping his side of the door. Minho could smell it too, strongly at that, and the older vampire could only purse his lips and widen his eyes at you. “Are you guys—please don’t tell me you’re actually cooking humans this ti—“

At that, he immediately shakes his head and breaks out into a nervous laugh, pulling the door closer to his body and effectively hiding Jisung scrambling around for the exhaust (and maybe the fire extinguisher too, for some reason) before you could peer over his shoulder. “No, no! It’s just Jisung and Jeongin—well, it’s mostly Jeongin then he dragged Jisung in on it—they’re making Valentine’s Day chocolates for...some people.”

You could sense the slight bluff in his tone (supported further by the little heart-shaped candy on his cheek) and that at least one of those ‘some people’ he could possibly be referring to is one of your friends, Nari, whom Jeongin has not-so-discreetly been pining over since your second year of college, but you easily let it slide. In the eight years you’ve known the vampires who live and own your apartment complex, after all, you’ve definitely walked in on much wilder things than a couple of questionably burnt chocolates (chocolates aren’t even cooked, as far as you’re concerned!). “Um, okay, sure, I’ll trust you with that.” You squint your eyes at him. “Anyway, can I come in? I need your help with something.” 

Minho exhales a small sigh of relief which he turns into a smile for you before looking over his shoulder once to make sure that the coast is clear then opening the door wide once again. “Yeah, come on in.” He concludes next, picking up your backpack on the floor and your heavy laptop in your hands as you cross the threshold. “But it’s really messy in the common area right now so we’ll have to stay in my room, if that’s okay with you.” 

You’ve never been in his room, not even when you first became friends in your first year of college eight years ago or on game nights when he always asks for help taking out his Play Station sets. All of Jisung and Jeongin’s jokes of his serial killer tendencies when you’re not around could be true for all you know and it’s the only thing going through your head as you wordlessly follow him inside his apartment, pondering on the thought.

In response, Minho bites down a laugh between his teeth next to you as he accidentally reads your thoughts and when you catch him in the act, you make sure to elbow him with your freer arm, careful of your drafts binder. “Ya, stop reading my thoughts without permission, you asshole!” You scold him in a sharp hiss right as you pass Jisung and Jeongin in the open doorway leading to the kitchen. You greet the two courteously and even make a salute to the fallen chocolates, to which Minho laughs even more at and the two boys groan in protest. “Well, shit, it really is...bad.”

“I know, poor people who’ll get that tomorrow.” Minho shrugs.

“You could say Nari, it’s fine, I won’t tell.” You shrug back with a laugh, taking this time to take the candy off of his cheek and walking past him and the other two boys with a parting wave before Jeongin could even process that you caught up to him and his crush so easily.

Minho, meanwhile, clears his throat awkwardly and follows you, in a poor attempt to hide his immediate flustered expression. Some of the chocolates were actually for you but he won’t tell you that too, of course.

Especially not when you arrive in his room not long after, nodding in approval at its cleanliness that clearly contrasts the current state of his kitchen and, by a slight extension, living room. “Glad you to know you don’t murder people in your room, Min. See? We get closer as friends would every day.”

“I’ve been on blood bag and animal diet since we met, you brat. Don’t tease like that.” Minho rolls his eyes, prompting you to laugh.

“So, where do I work, then?” You ask after, turning to Minho on your side and accidentally brushing your shoulders together.

He gestures to his work table in response, naturally placing his other hand on your back and guiding you towards it. He really hopes you’d be oblivious to the way he’s growing more flustered this time. He doesn’t let you in his room for a reason, after all (that being it’s too intimate in his opinion). “You can use my desk.” He instructs you after, following you and pulling an extra chair for himself once you’ve reached his desk. Placing your backpack next to his work bag then your laptop on top of the table, he then asks, “So, are you travelling now or later?”

He already knew you’d do it sometime now, he really just wanted to ask to keep the conversation going. He even has your hanbok ready—bought from Changbin’s wife’s shop last month.

But, to you, he seems to have miscalculated the situation a little bit as a realization dawns on you while you’re taking out the portable time travel machine from your backpack. It’s actually just a watch but your professors insist on keeping them in really fancy boxes. “I can do it now if it’s oka—wait, I haven’t even told you that part yet! How do you know I’m not just going to hoard your wi-fi?” You exclaim mid-thought, your mouth falling agape and forming an ‘o’ shape in surprise. You know he wasn’t reading your mind just now because, usually, Minho would announce his presence obnoxiously loud in your head or make the face he did a while back but he didn’t this time. “So you’re going to agree to my request? Is that it?”

Eyes equally wide in his mistake, Minho falls back in his chair and ends up fumbling around with his words. “Well—no, I mean, you always only need my help when you’re about to time travel so—!” He tries his best to cover up which only elicits a victorious smile from you. “Ugh, fine, you got me!”

“So, you’ll help me? I mean, past you, technically.” You ask again for confirmation, sitting down on your own chair this time as you fully take out the portable machine and place it on your lap. “I have to tell you, though, that I need to travel to three other periods for my thesis this time. Is that okay?” 

Minho props his elbow on the arm rest and nods against his knuckles. “You already know the answer to that, I think.” 

You chuckle at this. If eight years of knowing him has taught you anything, it’s to pay attention to the smallest details. He’s clairvoyant, after all, and you need to up him at his own game every now and then somehow. “Then, I’ll also need the proper attire. Haseul said that she can’t take in commissions at the moment so I couldn’t—“

“In the closet, furthest right.” Minho gestures to the walk-in closet behind him in defeat. “You can use that for all the times you’ll go, too.” 

“Have I told you that you’re my bestest friend in the world today? Even more than Nari, and she’s a witch, might I add!” You dramatically announce with a grin, handing him the machine’s box before standing up and making a beeline to the double doors on the other side of his bed. When you follow his instructions and find a pink and blue hanbok along with a floral hairpin on the very end of his closet, you then take it out and head to the open bathroom across the room. “Oh, wow, you even got my size right! You must’ve been preparing for this for a long time, huh?”

He really has—but, again, Minho is too stubborn to admit it to your face. “Just tell me if it’s uncomfortable or something.” He simply replies to you instead before you could close the door and change. Once he hears you acknowledge him with a hum before clicking the door to a lock, he then quickly prepares the time travel watch for you (by the way he remembers you doing it in front of him countless of times while you were cramming for a school requirement with him) then places it next to your laptop in exchange for his phone to message the rest of his friends.

minho [9:13 PM]: its happening

chan [9:14 PM]: you’re confessing?

hyunjin [9:14 PM]: hey that’s great! good for you hyung!!!

minho [9:16 PM]: no! y/n’s making the travel to 1388!

changbin [9:18 PM]: chan u know not to get ur hopes up w minho alr we all know he’s hopeless

minho [9:21 PM]: just bc ur alr married u brat

Changbin was still typing out a reply in the groupchat when you came out of the bathroom in your hanbok, laughing behind your hand when Minho looks up and momentarily gapes at you. “Why are you looking at me like that, weirdo?” You furrow your brows as you approach, smacking his arm before sitting down on his bed right behind him with a slight struggle. Peering over his shoulder, you smile appreciatively at noticing the time machine already set up. “And I see you’ve set up the machine without breaking anything this time! Progress!”

Minho scoffs, swiveling his wheeled chair to face you properly before gesturing to the hairpin in your hands. “You don’t like the hairpin?”

"I don’t know why you’re making me wear a hairpin that looks like a wedding heirloom.” You frown. Not to mention, from it’s material, you could tell that it’s new as well, meaning it was designed this way on purpose. “Won’t it attract too much attention?” 

Minho doesn’t know why you eventually came to him in the past wearing the hairpin too. He thought his future self was being ridiculous then (and he still does in the moment). “I don’t know, either,” He tells you truthfully this time, standing up from his chair to place it on your tightly-made bun. “But you did come wearing it eventually so just go with the flow, I guess? I don’t know, what do your sci-fi movies say?” 

You scoff at him, puffing out the heat rising up to your cheeks at the proximity. He could read your mind if he wants to but he doesn’t seem to be in the moment, even when his lips are gently fanning air into your ear as he fixes the hairpin with utmost care. “I guess I’ll just have to follow your instincts, then.” You sigh in defeat. “I can’t miss a detail, even if it’s weird.” 

“Right. I was there in the moment before you right now.” He smiles cheekily before sitting back down on his chair, passing you your time travel box after. “Ready to go?” 

You nod, fixing your collar one last time before receiving the machine from his hands. “You haven’t met me in the 1388, right?” 

“The first time you met me in the past was in the 1910s for that graduate thesis of yours and the oldest version of me that you’ve met so far was the one from the the 1740s.” Minho corrects, recalling your fourth year thesis some eight years ago. “But the first time I met you in my history was for this doctorate.” 

Your eyes light up at this. “Really? You’re meeting me for the first time now?” 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“We’ll have differing first impressions after this!” You point out to which he snickers. “Also, I haven’t met this version of you, you might be a snob in 1388 and think I’m weird or something.” 

Minho personally doesn’t think his first impression of you will ever change, no matter when you’ll meet in time. He’ll always think positively of you. “I was already turned for a long time, then. I haven’t met Chan and the others but I’ve seen and heard of weirder things than a time traveler.” He assures you. “Now, go, so I can help Jisung and Jeongin in the kitchen.” 

Rolling your eyes, you then set the date to January 1388 (you notice Minho’s already set the location while you were in the bathroom) before bidding a temporary goodbye to him, disappearing into thin air with the watch on your wrist right after. “I’ll be back before you know it!” 

In the blink of an eye, you’re already in a flea market somewhere in Seoul (then named Hanseong, you made sure to remember that well out of all of your history and anthropology notes). 

past: January 1388

You easily find 1388 Minho wandering around the flea market, a crowd of court men and women following him religiously as he examines the crops, livestock, and flowers being sold in stalls. The sight makes you scoff in disbelief, even more when you approach and see how he ignores each and every one of them up close. 

You know Minho isn’t the one of royal blood in his current coven of vampires (that’s Hyunjin—you know it well from the amount of times you’ve pestered him in your other time travels while he was sulking over his present day fiancée) but he has mentioned in passing once about being popular in the palace court, a socialite of his time if you will. 

But then, who could blame him? He’s just that handsome and charming.  

“Minho...Lee Minho...” You try calling for him in the crowd but to no avail, the slight embarrassment of following the crowd creeping up to you. It reminds you a bit of when you first saw him in your timeline, your first year of college and his fourth year (because Chan keeps insisting that he goes to university every now and then to pass the time) when all kinds of students would also follow him around at the campus library. It’s annoying, regardless of wherever you are in the world timeline. “Excuse me, Lee Minho!” 

He only turns to you when you raise your voice, an eyebrow momentarily raised until your eyes meet and a look seemingly of recognition crosses his features. 

You became friends with him as an older vampire but why is he more intimidating as a younger one? It’s probably the rest of the crowd’s eyes being on you because of your sudden interruption. Either way, you forcibly gulp down your nervousness and call for him again. “Lee Minho?” 

“Yes?” 

“C-Can I—Can I talk to you for a moment?” You gesture for him to follow you, his piercing gaze making your hands shake a bit. This is probably what Chan meant when he said Minho was a bit scary when he first met him in the 1400s. 

Minho follows you, anyway, which alleviates and heightens your nervousness at the same time. The crowd would’ve followed if not for him glaring at them not to right before you turned to the main entrance of the flea market where a few people were loitering around at. He feels like he knows you from somewhere which, if you knew about, you’d tell him that that’s impossible since, chronologically, you haven’t met him before this. 

Once you’re away from the majority of the market crowd, only then do you turn to properly face him and his expectant eyes. He’s still looks the same as he does in the present, just more curious, seeing as you’re a stranger for now. It’s comforting, somehow, so much so that it relaxes you and eventually makes you laugh as well. 

“What’s so funny?” He asks you without any hint of malice once you uncontrollably burst into giggles, prompting you to lift your hand up to your mouth. Already developing his clairvoyant abilities at this time period, he could easily tell by the unfamiliar terms in your thoughts and the way you hold yourself up that you were different—far more different than everyone around you. “And who are you?” 

You wave your other hand dismissively, taking a step back to recuperate. You end up giggling a few more times before you could manage to take a deep breath and exhale slowly by turning your eyes away from Minho momentarily. “I’m sorry, I’m Y/N and I—sorry! It’s just so...it’s a bit weird!” 

“Definitely.” Though your answer is unsatisfactory, the boy nods anyway. “And how do you know my name?”  

“I know you from the futur—wait, you can tell that it’s a bit weird too?” You raise an eyebrow and fold your arms over your chest. “It’s…sometime in the 1300s—“

“Thirteen eighty-eight.”

“Right.” You nodded at his correction with a dry scoff, piquing his interest further. “It’s only 1388 and you’re already this good of a clairvoyant?”

Minho was instinctively taken aback with you. His present self forgot to tell you that clairvoyance doesn’t have an established name in this time yet. “How did you—? What? Huh, well…the hanbok—the hanbok’s a bit of a giveaway too, I guess. It looks different from what the court women usually wear.” 

You then briefly glanced down at your hanbok, a pout resting on your features when you look back up at Minho again. “Really? But you—I mean, my source told me that this was accurate.” Come to think of it, you didn’t really check the attire thoroughly since you really needed to travel immediately to cram your paper. You’ll have to give 2020 Minho an earful about this later. “Ah, guess it’s my fault for not double-checking. I was in a bit of a rush to come here.” 

Minho from 1388, however, shakes his head at you in disapproval then briefly begins pointing out the different design patterns that looked foreign to him. “And this hairpin,” He pointed your hair accessory last, from what you can remember at present. There’s an unreadable expression in his face, one you’re too flustered to interpret as amusement. “This looks like a wedding heirloom but…a bit futuristic for my time, if that makes sense. I don’t suppose you wanted to come here disguised as someone’s wife, right? That’d attract more attention to you.”

And with that, you almost immediately deflate right in front of him with a defeated sigh and he smirks teasingly in return. To the passersby at the flea market, people could’ve easily mistaken the two of you for a quarreling married couple. “So that’s how it is.” You surrender easily, your arms loosening. “I guess even at this time you’re clairvoyant and smart. How annoying.”

His smirk grows even more triumphantly at this. “So, why did you come here?” He asks next. He figures out halfway through your rambles that it’s probably better to go along with you than to insist on his own questions, at least until you’ve organized your thoughts a little bit better. 

You ponder on the question for a moment, shifting your weight between the balls of your feet to pass the time. When you do answer, you explain, “Well, it’s a little crazy but my source has said that you’ll be okay with it so...believe it or not, I’m from the future and doing my doctorate thesis on a dynasty that’s about to establish itself around this time.” When 1388 Minho doesn’t immediately and visibly freak out as he would on your worst case scenario, you take this as your cue to continue. “You’re still alive in my time but I can’t tell you what our relationship is or it’ll be spoilers! All I can say is that you’ve helped me passed a lot of my major requirements in school and if you’re okay with it, you can help me with this one too!” 

The Minho in front of you thinks that you probably know him very well to know that he’s not easily spooked with anything out of the ordinary, not even by someone who claims to be from the future and is doing an academic paper about the past. You did mention knowing his personal history, as well, which effectively gained you his trust. He just hopes you’re not married or something in the future as the hairpin seems to be trying to imply or else he’d consider this first meeting of yours a bit chaotic for his liking. “Sure. Where do you have to be right now?” 

Really? It’s that easy? Is all you can think about, much to Minho’s curiosity when he reads your thoughts. “O-Oh, well, um...if you can take me to the palace courts, that would be...cool, I mean nice.” 

And so, Minho from 1388 ends up showing you around the palace courts for the next six months that follows (but, really, it’s just merely six minutes in the present time), even introducing you to people whom you ended up entrusting with your data-gathering. You almost mentioned Hyunjin and his fiancé, Shiyeon, on more than one occasion, remembering how the vampire would be with Seungmin already by this time while the immortal witch would be travelling around Korea, but opted not to instead when you also remember that no one from this time period really liked talking about the previous fire that killed most of Hyunjin’s family. 

Besides, you didn’t want to mess up the timeline and have Minho meet Hyunjin before he could meet Chan, even when he would ask you about it right before you left. 

“How am I in the future, by the way? Am I allowed to ask that?” Minho asks you curiously as you hold out your watch in front of him. It was starting to get annoying, having to hide it in your bell sleeves all the time. “And what am I doing by then?” 

“I can’t say anything specific that’s important.” You scrunch up your nose disapprovingly to which Minho only glares at you in response. “Just trust me, you’re sort of happy with where you are in my present day. You don’t have to worry about it now, it’s still 600 years away, anyway.” 

Minho mistakenly interprets that as the two of you being married in the future. He doesn’t have feelings for you in this time period but he takes your word not to worry about it until it’s happened. 

Besides, you seem kind. He’ll see something in you eventually. 

“When will I see you again, then?” 

“Um...around 1418, probably?” You answer with a hint of uncertainty as you faintly recall your thesis’ outline. You needed to see King Sejeong’s court next. “You’ll still be here, right?” 

Minho initially had plans on moving to a nearby province but he nods, anyway, thinking that that could wait for a few more years. “Yeah.” 

And with that, you’re gone again. 

present: February 13, 2020 

When you get back to the present day, it’s only 9:35 PM, almost six minutes since you left, but Minho’s already in the kitchen, helping Jisung and Jeongin clean up their mess. 

“Back already?” Minho asks with a blood bag between his teeth when he catches sight of you by the open doorway as he wipes the kitchen island clean, immediately noticing the grin you wear on your face. “What did you think?” 

“You were much chiller then!” You exclaim, ducking past Jeongin and Jisung to sit down right across Minho on the countertop. “I mean, you were a bit scary at first with the whole glaring thing you got going on but you were very calm and collected, then, like you weren’t even phased about me being from the future!” 

Of course he would be at that time, he was literally there when it happened (and also because he’s always had a feeling even from before that you’d meet but that’s also on his long list of things he won’t tell you). Instead, you see him quirk an eyebrow, throwing the rag towel in his hand to the side to pick up his phone and resume his Kart Rider. “Weirdoes vibe with weirdoes, I guess.” He shrugs, chuckling when you protest at this. “Anyway, you got what you need, right?”

You nod happily with a hum, propping an elbow up on the now clean counter and resting your cheek on your palm. “I have enough to write about later when you’re done cleaning.” 

“Ya, Y/N, if you’re gonna stick around at least help us clean the kitchen!” Jisung complains as he drags a wet mop across the floor behind you. 

“And why would I do that? I didn’t even help you make the chocolates!” 

“Because Minho’s been making cho—” Before Jisung could finish his sentence, however, Minho throws his rag towel towards the younger vampire, aiming it directly to his face. “Ya!” 

You shake your head in disbelief, turning to Minho again after. “Anyway, I have to fix my notes for a bit and you need to tell me where else I went for this paper!” 

Also because you were kinda cute back then, you think to yourself more as an after-thought, not really expecting for Minho to accidentally hear it.   

Now, Minho knows why he made you wear the hairpin. Is it normal to be jealous of one’s past self? 

present: February 16, 2020 

Minho offers you a whole bag of your favorite mini Toblerones the next time that you knock on his door to work on your thesis. The Valentine’s Day homemade chocolates were a fail even when Felix was eventually brought in last-minute (then you just had to disappear for a whole day with Nari and Shiyeon, too), so he rushed to the nearest convenience store to buy you the Toblerones as soon as you told him that you’ll come over again to pester him with his Internet connection and ask him more about your work. 

Maybe this is really it, the one you were talking about in his past. 

“You’re being nice to me with all this chocolate.” You squint your eyes with a piece of the chocolate in between your teeth suspiciously across the dining table as you work, head buried in papers to revise and dusty reference books. Your professor has you on travel limit as everyone else, only allowing you up to four actual visits to the past, hence the mountainous stacks of library books and journals you’ve borrowed from both the campus library and Changbin’s personal collection. “What do you need? Ya, I’m talking to you.” 

Minho, busy in his own academic work on his laptop, only peeks up at you belatedly when he’s reaching out for his blood bag buried underneath all of your papers. “What?” 

“What are the chocolates for?” You ask straightforwardly this time, picking up another mini Toblerone off the yellow bag. “Last time you bought me something from the convenience store was when you ate the squirrel I was feeding in the back garden.” 

Minho only shrugs as nonchalantly as he could, though he can’t help but feel a little flustered as evidenced by the way his eyes briefly widen. The squirrel incident was a long time ago and yet you still won’t let it go. “Can’t I be nice?” He simply asks back in answer to which you scoff at. He laughs along with you, anyway. “Jeongin bought it then gave me the extra, probably to give to you since I can’t really eat it.” 

You wanted to tell him that Nari actually shared the chocolates Jeongin gave her and they were definitely not Toblerones but you let it slide again. For some reason, it’s funny seeing Minho try to cover up something right in front of your face and thinking that he’s doing a good job at it. He’s trained you to see past his bullshit for the past 8 years, he should really know better. “Um...right.” You nod teasingly. “I’m gonna pretend you’re not looking very suspicious right now.” 

Minho could clearly tell that you’re doubting him even without reading you but he does nothing more to it. He’s too deep in his bullshit already and you both know that. 

Truth is, he was just fulfilling something you mentioned in your second visit to him (and probably as a way to give you something on Valentine’s Day even if it’s two days late). 

“Anyway, when are you making the travel again?” 

“Right after I finish summarizing this book.” 

And it happens to come full circle today, too. What luck does your best friend have. 

past: August 1418 

You jump between days in a span of six years this time (which is approximately an hour and twelve minutes back in the present time) with the help of Minho, Chan, and Changbin from 1418 helping you by preparing an entire closet of clothes and coming up with a very detailed background story of how you were a distant relative of Chan’s from the province in the case that someone asked about you. The other two boys were more than happy to welcome you despite how foreign time travel was to them in this time period because, apparently, you’re all Minho’s ever talked about since they met. 

“It’s nice knowing that Minho didn’t fever dreamed you up or something.” Changbin joked to you once towards the end of the six years of your data-gathering, to which he received a full apple shoved in his mouth from Minho. In this time period, his wife, Haseul, was still in that sleeping curse you still don’t understand fully at present, carefully laid in a tomb somewhere in the capital. Fortunately, you managed to avoid telling him that she wakes up seven centuries later (and that they get married) throughout your entire stay and avoided spoilers. “Vampires who’ve lived long like us tend to do that sometimes. Heck, even Chan does that lots of times these days, telling us about this immortal person he’s been looking for a while now. I guess it’s the human brain’s natural response to having a lot of memories.” 

“Minho remembers me just fine in the present, though.” You shrug as you re-write your interview notes, to which Minho mumbles a ‘Really?’ at. When you nod at him, he immediately rolls his eyes up in thought. You want to tell them that the person Chan’s been looking for at this time’s also real (and that he and said person, Eunhye, even live together now), too, but you decide against it later on for spoiler reasons again. “You have really good memory in the present, you even bought me Toblerones today.” 

“What are those?” 

A realization dawns on you right there and then, a small smile forming on your lips to which Minho quirks an eyebrow at and Changbin immediately asks you about. “You’ll find out soon enough. Just know that they’re my favorite.” You simply answer, standing up from the front porch of the inn you’ve been staying at and dusting the dirt off of your new hanbok. You remind yourself to ask Minho and Changbin about where these are at present later on. “Anyway, I’m off! I need to interview a few court people then I’ll be off your hairs again soon!” 

When it’s time for you to leave again, Minho’s still pestering you about what Toblerones are. 

“Come on, tell me!” He protests, going as far as holding your wrist where your watch is before you could escape. “Y/N!” 

You only grin up at him mischievously, gently swatting his hand away. “February 16, 2020! Also, make me ramen and coffee when I get back to the other side, please! I’d really like that!” 

present: February 16, 2020 

A steaming bowl of ramen and a warm cup of miraculously decently-brewed coffee are on the kitchen countertop by the time you come back, just as you asked him six hundred years in the past. What you didn’t expect, however, was the way your notes and references have also been organized neatly on the table while you were away and Minho dozing off on the nearby sofa in the open living room (he really likes genuine sleep lately which you’re yet to ask him as to why). You make sure to check that he really is sleeping by pinching his nose (and getting no response which is his usual indication of actual sleep) before placing the blanket he has reserved for you in his apartment over his hunched over body. 

“You don’t really need it,” You whisper tiredly, tucking the blanket close to his neck. His skin is naturally cold, as any normal vampire’s, but you’ve slowly grown accustomed to it over the years. “but how else am I going to say thank you for remembering my request after six hundred years? You’re going above and beyond anyone I’ve ever met, Lee Minho, you should stop raising the bar too high for men like this.” 

three

past: May 1592

“Are you sure you want to be here?” Minho from 1592 asks you right after you’ve reappeared in his house. Chan is out for work and Changbin is visiting Haseul on this particular day, leaving him to tend to their main house alone. “We’re in the middle of—”

“A Japanese invasion, I know.” You finish his thought for him, casually plopping down on the front porch right next to him and gingerly receiving the cup of tea he offers you. The garden he’s been trying to tend the last time you were around hasn’t made any significant progress even when an entire century has passed. You want to think it’s because the boys have been travelling elsewhere right before you returned but you also know it’s because they haven’t met Seungmin and Hyunjin yet. Those two are still probably travelling with Shiyeon. “That’s exactly why I’m here.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re—” Minho leans away and gazes back incredulously at you. He can already tell, with his own abilities, that you’re not thinking of what he’s thinking but he asks anyway to fully confirm. “I’m not letting you go to the frontlines if that’s what you’re going to ask me this time.” 

You chuckle at his genuinely mortified expression as you sip on your tea, making the boy furrow his brows at you. You really must be crazy. “You already know I’m not thinking of that! Though, I will ask you crazier things in the distant future.” You assure him. “I’ll only be staying for a year, six years again at most since I only need to complete a few interviews and fact-check a few books.” 

“Good.” Minho sighs in relief, taking a long sip of his tea as well. Even in 1592, the only human beverage Minho could stand is tea, you’re quick to notice. “That’s...that’s a relief.” 

“Why would you even be worried about going to the field, you’re immorta—ya, perhaps, do you you care about me?” You tease, grinning widely at the sudden realization. “We have a really messed-up timeline but you already care about me as early as now, that’s cute!”   

Minho from this time period could only roll his eyes at you against his sudden flustered feeling. If he was curious of your relationship with his future self when you first met, he’s curious as to how his future self keeps up with you this time. “Because you might be important to me in the future or something.” He bluffs to which you only chuckle fondly at. “I can’t really tell since you won’t tell me exactly how I know you in the future.” 

“Well, what am I to you now?” 

“A friend.” And he means it truthfully.

You’re momentarily taken aback, Minho sees even when you’re quick to hide it. Present Minho won’t even call you his best friend like you do to him. “Then just—just remember that until then.” You point out, smiling when you gaze over to his side and see his sincere expression. Something leaps in your chest at hearing him say those words without his usual playful tone of voice. It’s not what you’ve always been hoping for but it’s a start. “Won’t it be better if you just find out in the moment when it does happen?” 

Minho wants to tell you that he can’t wait but his teasing nature always gets the best of him first, “Hm, maybe you don’t actually know me at all in the future, that’s why you’re always being vague when I ask you.” 

You scoff, smacking his arm. “Ya!” 

“So, really, what are you to me in the future?” He insists anyway, swiftly dodging your hits until he’s caught your wrist in his hands. “Friend? Best friend?” 

A lover? He wanted to add further but he bites his tongue back just in time.  

“I always call you my best friend but I’ve yet to hear the same thing from you so, honestly, how would I know when you’re so secretive with your true feelings all the time! I’m even surprised you answered my question just now.” You frown, unintentionally coming off as bitter in your tone of voice as you retract your hand back to your side. You place your cup down as well, careful of the remaining tea so it doesn’t accidentally spill on your hanbok. At this moment, you miss the way Minho’s expression turns into confusion. “If it helps, though, I can only tell you that you always let me in your house to hoard the wi-fi—which you don’t have to know about right now!—and you’ve kept me around long enough to know when you’re trying to lie to me or read my thoughts with your clairvoyance thing going on.” 

Minho nods along, humming in thought. “So you’re a parasite?” 

You inhale a deep breath, focusing all of your energy into restraining yourself from hitting him for a second time. “You’ve called me worse.” You sigh with a controlled laugh. “Expired dinner and ex-wife who has nowhere else to go are my personal favorites.” 

Next to you, Minho’s eyes genuinely widen in curiosity. “We got married?” 

“Um, no? No, no, it’s an expression!” You shake your head and snicker despite the contrasting heat on your neck. Minho grows flustered at sensing the blood rushing up to your face. “I don’t even know if you’re capable of romantic love, dude. You’re always kinda everywhere and nowhere.” 

Minho’s not offended, though, especially not when you try to apologize after at realizing that you’re not as close with this version of him as you are with the version you know in your own time. “It’s fine.” He assures you with a shrug, knowing full well that you were just kidding around. “I’m guessing with that that I’m still single five centuries later.” 

“That and a bit of a flirt, too.” You clarify before his words fully process in your head. “Wait, so that means you haven’t dated even before this?” 

Minho shakes his head. “No, no one’s caught my eye yet.” 

You purse your lips in thought of this new revelation. It’s in moments like this, when you’re meeting past selves of your immortal friends that you realize just how little you actually know of them. “Huh, I didn’t peg you as the type.” 

“The type to what?” 

You shrug slowly, hunching over in your seat. “To be the fall in love just once type? I don’t know...”

Chan has mentioned to you once about Minho believing in soulmates but you were quick to dismiss that then. Remembering that now, maybe he is right. 

And, as if he has been reading your thoughts this entire time, Minho agrees with a nod. “Then, now you know. If you’ve lived as long as I have, soulmates are really nice to think about.” 

“But you always tease me about it...you from the future at least.” You pout. “Again, no offense, it’s just that—from the way I know you in my time, you’re very confusing.” 

When you glance over at Minho, you see him sit up straighter and lean closer to you again, your shoulders bumping against his as he tilts his head to meet your gaze. “Really? How am I confusing? Maybe I can help.” 

You scrunch up your nose. “Ah, but that’s unfair. You’ll take note of this in the future again.” 

“Your time’s five hundred years away, I’m sure I’ll forget this with time.” He assures you to no avail as evidenced by your squinted eyes. 

“You remembered my ramen and coffee request from last time, though.” You argue back, making his eyes light up. 

“I will?” 

You nod, placing a finger on his forehead and pushing his face away from yours. “Yeah, so I don’t trust you. Let’s just leave it at that.” 

Minho doesn’t bother you anymore about it for the rest of your one-year stay, which you’re more than grateful for.

present: February 22, 2020 

He does, however, teases you about it again when you’re back to the present. Closing in on you in one of his bone-crushing hugs when you reappear in his room, he asks, “So, how was meeting me in the 1500s this time, best friend?”

“Excuse me, what did you say?” You furrow your brows at him, your arms going limp on your sides while your entire body freezes on the spot. 

“I just called you my best friend.” He repeats casually with a shrug. “Why?” 

Minho purposely omits the fact that he double-checked his old journals to make sure that you just time traveled to that period when you mentioned to him how he’s never called you his best friend. He’s been waiting for this opportunity to set it right with you since he didn’t know much of the context back then. 

You shake your head in response, reluctantly hugging him back once you’ve regained feeling in your arms again. “Nothing, it’s just...” 

“Dude, you’re acting like past me and present me are different people.” He chuckles against your hair, squeezing your frame once before pulling away. “So, we’re good, right? You’re not bitter about the whole best friend thing now?” 

You frown, slapping his elbow to which he only chuckles at. “Who said I was bitter?” 

“You did in 1592!” He teases, his mischievous grin softening into a fond smile after. “But seriously...sorry about that. I just think it’s cheesy to say most of the time but you really are...my best friend now I guess—maybe until you die in 50 years.”

Minho then runs away before you could even protest, prompting you to chase him out of his room and into the hallway. “Ya, Lee Minho! I’m going to kill you first, you brat!”  

But you know that deep in your heart that he’s only joking (and also because Jeongin has gossiped to you once about accidentally reading one of Minho’s journal entries from the 1700s once about meeting someone who shares your name but was already working as a professor in university and may or may not already be a vampire). 

present: February 29, 2020

“Okay, to refresh...” You mumble as you adjust the watch on your wrist and the switchblade Minho insisted on you keeping in your pants’ pockets. Next to you, said vampire’s is sprawled on his bed, a reviewer and highlighter in hand. “In 1895, Hyunjin was following Shiyeon around the world, Seungmin was starting out his photography career, Soojung was taking a beauty nap, Haseul was still sleeping, Changbin was going on a Jack the Killer rampage somewhere in Europe, Jisung was still a newborn, Felix, and Jeongin haven’t joined you yet, and Chan was...learning yoga with Eunhye? Is that right?” 

“And I’ve met all versions of you by this time.” Minho adds in absentmindedly before going back to chanting his notes over and over again. He really doesn’t need to since he really has sharp memory these days but you let him study for whatever it is he’s studying, anyway, so he has something else to do besides Kart Rider and annoying his other friends. “Just tell past me who I’m meeting when you arrive since you know how I kept mixing graduate studies you and college thesis you up all the time.” 

“That’s...you guys have lived lives.” You puff out a tired breath, making Minho glance up to you briefly and chuckle. “Sometimes, it makes me and Nari feel so small.” 

“It’s not much.” The boy shrugs back. “It personally hasn’t felt that long.” 

“And why’s that?” You hum curiously. 

He mumbles something behind his paper but you don’t hear it well. When you ask him about it, he only shakes his head and kicks you with his socket foot, urging you to go already. 

Minho actually said, “It’s because you’ve been with me the entire time.” but he’ll just tell you all about it later when you come back. 

With a scoff, you then swat his foot away and bid him goodbye. “Fine, see you later then.” 

“I’ll organize your notes until then. Bye.” 

past: July 1895

Minho sets your location on your watch to his house, now renovated to what was considered modern then. You’ve been here countless of times, albeit in different time periods of your own past (the last being when you had to ask for his help in the 1860s about your graduate thesis), but you’ve never been here in the 1890s, not when a newborn Jisung had the self-control of a toddler and immediately tried pouncing on you the moment he smelled you on their front lawn.  

Now you know what the switchblade is for (and the one time Jisung kept apologizing to you in the 1910s). 

“Ji, calm down!” Minho growls in annoyance, holding the younger boy by his arms as he drags him back inside the house. He can feel your anxiousness increase just by looking at this unfamiliar side of Jisung, prompting him to send you an apologizing look. “Sorry, um, Y/N, I—” 

“I-It’s...it’s fine.” You assure shakily with a curt nod, taking a step back as well when Jisung tries regaining two steps towards you again. “I think I came in the wrong day.” 

“It depends. What are you here for?” He asks, his voice growing faint as he successfully manages to lock Jisung inside the house. He then quickly jogs back to you, examining your face for any recognizable hints of where you could be from.

“Doctorate thesis.” You answer for him, earning you a look of realization from him. 

“Oh, it’s you.” He smiles in relief. You remember distinctly how these were also the very same words he told you when you first met him in a time travel. “I was thinking you’d never come back.” 

You feign a frown in front of him, making him laugh. “Why? Did you think I wouldn’t finish my studies?” 

“It’s just that the next time you came back, from my point of view, is when you were only in college to ask me about the 1810s.” He clarifies, to which you nod in understanding. So he does remember. “I thought it weird at first that you didn’t come back sooner to finish your doctorate.” 

“Ah, well, you in 2020 has been a big help—well, him and a shit ton of books.” You chuckle awkwardly. “This is my last trip for my doctorate, actually, since I have the smallest amount of resources for Queen Min.” 

“T-This is—this is your last?” 

You smirk at his briefly dejected expression, elbowing him gently. “Why do you look so sad? You already know we’ll meet again in the future. Plus, you’ll still meet younger versions of me later on for my college requirements which is a bit confusing to hear right now but you’ll get it later!” 

Minho opens his mouth to speak, initially to tell you something about being frustrated that he’s only seen glimpses (and different versions) of you throughout his life so far, but he’s suddenly cut off by Jisung banging wildly against the front door, making him and you flinch. 

“Um...what if we deal with Jisung first?” You suggest. “I assure you we’re all going to be great friends in the future but no one really told me that this would happen.” 

Minho nods slowly next to you, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Yeah, we should probably take care of him first before your thesis. You could spare five minutes to sit down, right?” 

“Definitely.” 

And so, you spend the rest of your first day getting Jisung to calm down in your presence. 

present: February 29, 2020 

“Chan, babe, please, please, please promise that you won’t flinch when we use the party poppers later.” Eunhye sighs exasperatedly as she leads everyone into organizing the kitchen and living room. “Felix, good job on the cookies by the way! They turned out really well! Jisung, hurry up with that banner!” 

“Babe, I don’t flinch!” Chan yells across the hallway as he re-checks if everyone will have enough party hats, trumpets, and poppers for later. 

“Yes you do!” 

“What’s so significant about today, anyway?” Nari asks Jeongin as the two enter the apartment with boxes upon boxes of blood bags and alcoholic drinks. “Besides Y/N finishing their thesis, of course.” 

Shiyeon and Hyunjin follow closely behind with take-out boxes of chicken wings. “Because today is Y/N’s last time travel before they become a professor! A lot of good things are going to happen after, trust me.” Shiyeon answers with a wink. 

“How come you know all of that? You were barely with us in the 1800s.” Jisung asks while struggling to put the other end of your congratulations banner across the kitchen. Soojung is on the other end, arm beginning to fall asleep as she holds up the other end of the banner for Jisung. “Even Jeongin and Felix don’t know that.” 

“There’s a thing called correspondence and Hyunjin was a diligent gossiper.” Shiyeon only chuckles, setting down the take-out boxes on the countertop. “Also, hey, I was there in one of Y/N’s visits! It just hasn’t happened in our timeline yet but it will in three years!” 

Minho then emerges from his room, phone in hand counting down the seconds until you’re back again. “Okay, we have two hours to get everything ready.”

“Lee Minho where have you been this entire time!” Eunhye complains, finally taking the boy’s presence to take a seat. “I’ve been organizing everyone for a whole ten minutes!”  

“You mean you have two hours to get ready.” Haseul teases, seated on one of the dining table chairs and helping Changbin, Seungmin, and Felix make proper chocolates this time. “Don’t you have something else important you need to prepare?” 

“No, I can just wing it.” Minho dismisses to which Chan immediately laughs at, catching the younger boy’s panicked expression. 

“Sure you do.” Seungmin dryly responds, to which everyone topples over in laughter. 

past: November 1905

“You’ll see me again in five years, at least from your point of view.” You assure Minho from 1905 right before you leave. Jisung’s apologizing again about the incident last time but you’re quick to hug him and effectively shut him up. “The one you’ll meet in 1910 is going to be a little different, though, a little younger.” 

“But it’s still you.” 

You smile at this. “Yeah, still me.” 

Minho wants to tell you so badly that he’s met another version of you while you were away, someone older, but he quickly pushes the thought at the back of his head. Is this how you feel holding back spoilers from him? Instead, he ops to tease you. “You know, when people usually meet, it’s not as backwards as us.” When you raise an eyebrow at him, he continues, “You keep meeting me from the past and I’ve met you from the future countless of times. Even if culture’s going to be different in the future, I’m pretty sure this is still not how it goes there.” 

Finally, understanding, you let out a laugh, hitting his side playfully. “Definitely not.” You agree sheepishly. “But I think that makes it even more special. It makes you wait until we’re in the same time, right?” 

Minho nods. “What date are you going back to again?” 

“February 29, 2020. Why?” 

He says nothing else on it but bids you goodbye with one last hug instead. “Nothing. I’ll see you again soon...or another version of you.” 

“And I’ll see future you.” You chuckle before disappearing. 

present: February 29, 2020 

You come back to all the lights in Minho’s apartment turned off at the present. You hear whispers and the soft clicking of a lighter as well, prompting you to follow the noise outside. 

“I think it’s better if Changbin doesn’t hold the cake, don’t you think?” You recognize Haseul’s loud voice even from the hallways, fueling your curiosity even further. 

A slight pause then follows before you hear Chan agree, “Yeah. Hyunjin, you hold the other cake.” 

“Lix, you’re stepping on my foot.” That’s Jisung, you know by the way he’s always whiny when he complains. 

“Oh shit, sorry!” 

“Everyone, quiet! Y/N’s on their way!” Nari scolds and the hushes then quickly fall silent once you reach the kitchen, flipping the light switch on the hallway to the sound of party poppers exploding right in front of you. Only then do you see the big ‘CONGRATULATIONS Y/N!’ banner hanging right above everyone standing in a line with cake, hats, and trumpets. 

“Um?” You raise an eyebrow at everyone, breaking out into an uncontrollable grin. “What’s with all this?” 

Minho of your time then walks over to you with a Toblerone cake, carefully protecting two candles from the breeze that enters through the windows. “Chan and Eunhye insisted on a party so...congrats on finishing your thesis!” 

Over his shoulder, said vampire and immortal immediately shake their heads in denial. “It’s his idea!” Eunhye mouths to you with a smirk, making you chuckle.

You then turn to Minho with a smile. “I haven’t even finished writing it yet.” You point out only for your best friend to shrug nonchalantly. “And my graduation’s in a month.”  

“Yeah, we can work on that once everyone’s out of the apartment.” He suggests. “Now, just blow on the candles first, Seungmin’s arms are about to fall off waiting to take a picture.” 

You briefly apologize to Seungmin on the side with a sheepish laugh, blowing on the cake’s candles after to the many snaps of his film camera. “Thank you for all this. I really appreciate it, you guys!” You thank your guests after, approaching them with Minho on your side this time. 

“We can call you Professor now, right?” Hyunjin playfully asks, elbowing you gently on your side. 

“It makes me sound really old.” You pout, making him laugh. “In a few years.” 

“Three years.” Shiyeon coughs to which Minho immediately glares them down for. 

Catching this gesture, you decide on purposely ignoring it for now. You’ll have to ask Shiyeon what they mean with that later. “Anyway, let’s eat. Have you guys been here long?” 

“Not really but I’m already starving!” Soojung exclaims, passing you a plate and utensils. Next to her, Felix and Chan instinctively open up all the take-out boxes of food for everyone to dig in. 

“Alright, let’s eat!” 

present: March 1, 2020 

Minho kicks everyone out after by the strike of midnight, when all the food’s been devoured and the party games have been played at least twice. Surprisingly, even Jisung and Jeongin were directed outside by Minho at this time, which you immediately ask him about once the two boys are out of the door. “Don’t those two live here?” You joke with a dry chuckle. “You don’t have to kick them out so we can work.” 

“They’ll come back later.” Minho gently shuts the door before turning to you as you stand with your arms crossed in front of your chest, a genuinely curious expression on your face. “I just...need a moment with you.” 

You pretend to take a step back with your best dramatic expression of fear. “Oh my God, you’re going to kill me after eight years of friendship, right?” 

“What? No.” Minho furrows his brows at this, making you laugh. “It’s just...fuck, now I’m off-tracked.” 

You giggle this time, loosening your arms in front of you. “What is it, Minho?” 

There have been times, both in the past and present though rare, when Minho has looked nervous in front of you. The last time he was, from what you can remember, was when he was about to tell you that he accidentally killed the squirrel in the apartment’s back garden but even then, he wasn’t as nervous as he is now—fiddling with the hem of his blue sweater for a brief moment before finally taking the courage to step closer to you. “I-I, um—” He stammers out, one hand instinctively going up to his nape. “What I want to say is that...remember when I asked you in 1592 about how I know you?” 

“You just teased me about that last week.” You roll your eyes in an attempt to ease the sudden awkwardness, only to make it even worse for Minho. With this, your expression immediately contorts into worry. “What about it?” 

“Then in 1905, where you just came back from, you told me we’ll meet in the right time eventually...” He continues after a while, smiling back when you do reassuringly. “In between those centuries, of course, y-you—you came in for your college homework and your Masteral’s but there was also...there was also someone else.” 

This unexpected turn drops something heavy on your stomach, your smile unconsciously faltering. Minho wants to snicker but, knowing you, you’ll probably think of him cold if he does so he takes in a deep breath and tries his best to continue with less stutters this time. “Don’t be too sad, it’s still you, just a few months in the future.” He assures with a chuckle, hands instinctively going up to your sides to rub your arms comfortingly. Your eyes widen at this in response and you freeze in his touch. “Anyway, July 2020 Y/N just told me to do something tonight, if that’s okay.” 

It takes you a moment to respond but Minho patiently waits, holding back his laugh by biting his lip down. He’s reading your thoughts as they go into overdrive. Is this how you feel when I hide the future from you before? You internally ask to which he nods at. “U-Um, so...what are you going to do?”

“Just tell you that I’ve been in love with you for a long time.” Minho finally confesses, sighing in relief once he’s gotten the words out surprisingly well. “And if you’d like to go out for a trip after your graduation—and not the time travel trip, this time so we can be together right.” 

There’s more to it, actually, Minho has a whole paper written and rehearsed for a span of almost three centuries but he figures you’ll find out about it eventually. He could tell you about how he’s been in love with every version of you that he’s met in the past another time or maybe you already know it. 

“So?” He asks after a while when you don’t speak verbally. Your thoughts are still muddled and your heartbeat’s a little too fast for his liking but he holds any impulsive urge he might have in for your sake. “What do you say?” 

You purse your lips once, mustering up a relieved smile at him after. “You already met me from the future this time—which I commend you for, by the way, because you’ve one-upped me again this time!—so I think you already know the answer to that.” 

epilogue

past: July 1799

You know full well that you’re not supposed to travel back in time for personal reasons, especially not for the reason you’re coming into 1799 to see a past Minho for, but you figure that you’re already in your university’s faculty roster. If I get caught, you think to yourself as you easily spot Minho with Chan at an art exhibit in Paris, the professors will probably understand. 

“Minho! Chan!” You call with your hand above your head waving frantically at the two, catching theirs and a few patrons’ attentions. You don’t mind the extra attention as you approach him, though, since they did instinctively made way for you because of it. “Hello there, you two!” 

“Hi, Y/N!” Chan greets you happily, giving you a side hug. “Aren’t you back too soon?” 

But knowing full well that you’re probably not the same one the two met last time, Minho smirks in amusement as he eyes your choice of clothes and asks, “And where did you come from? By the clothes, me from the future probably doesn’t know you’re here.” 

“Yeah, I picked out my own clothes for today. Anyway, I won’t be here long.” You roll your eyes with a chuckle. “I’m from July 2020 and I’m not here for any academic work this time! I just wanted to ask you a quick favor.” 

From what you’ve detailed in your own journals, the last time you met from this particular Minho’s point of view was when you were doing a paper on the Baroque movement for one of your college classes. 

“What is it?” He asks you anyway, his body turned away from the painting that he and Chan have been previously admiring as he gives you his full attention. 

Judging from the amount of times you’ve visited him (and the different versions of you he’s meet as well), his future self seems to agree on your requests all the time. 

“I can’t tell you much but please prepare something on February 29, 2020!” You answer, your watch beeping on your side to remind you that it’s almost time to leave. “And make sure to mention me! Remember, Y/N from July 2020!” 

Before he could ask about it, further, however, you were already gone. 

“What do you think that was about, Chan?” Minho asks the older vampire instead. 

But Chan simply shrugs, hands going deeper in his pockets as he thinks. “No idea.” He admits in equal confusion. “Guess we’ll have to see in three hundred years.” 

[d0llpie]

Hi love✨ Can I request #16 from your prompt list with Atsumu? I’d like angst with a bittersweet ending, like they started dating because they were very different and found that interesting but as the time passed and the lockdown started, they realized that the differences were a lot and became tired of the constant arguments and not been able to see each other so they broke up but still in love:(

sorry if it’s very long and specific🥺 last week I broke up with my s/o and it was like this, our compatibility isn’t good and even if we love each other, we are not meant to be

Atsumu x reader, angst

A/N: Hi lovely, i’m sorry you’re going through this right now, i hope this is okay <3

Prompt: “i know i’m not what you signed up for”

wc: 1.4k

“Y/N, it’s one game pleasee, you never come, you’ve already met Suna and Osamu you don’t even have to talk to the team afterwards.” Your best friend, who also happened to be Suna’s girlfriend pleaded at you. You playfully shoved her back “Fine, but if you’re ditching me for Suna after the game you have to buy my drinks,”  “Ugh, yes! Rin she’ll come!” Suna came out from behind the gym where you both were talking “Oh, hey Suna” he nodded at you, draping his arm over your best friend’s shoulders “Tsumu saw you guys talking, he thinks you’re cute” you rolled your eyes at that. You knew of Atsumu and his reputation thanks to his fangirls, who usually end up in tears after encounters with him on bad days. “Well that’s nice.” You said sarcastically, “Oh, just remember not to cheer while he serves tomorrow night okay?” “Bsf/n, why would i cheer for him?” she scoffed “To show support? Anyway Rin and I will pick you up tomorrow, we’re going to go eat now mkay?” You nodded “See ya later” you waved and Suna nodded in acknowledgment. 

~

“Wow are the games usually this packed?” you squeezed past a group of girls in the aisles, settling into a seat next to bsf/n. “Kinda? It’s extra packed with both Atsumu and Oikawa’s fangirls, just ignore them- Oh there’s Suna!” You watched her wave excitedly at her boyfriend as he emerged with his team, the twins on either side of him. “Did he just wink at you?” bsf/n gestured over to Atsumu “Don’t know, he’s jumping up and down now at Osamu, geez he’s loud, Osamu is hotter anyway..” “They’re identical twins y/n, you can find him attractive.” She teased and you focused on the whistle blowing to ignore her. 

After the match ended, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t impressed, Tsumu was a tad erratic but he was talented nonetheless, his setter rivalry against Oikawa was definitely entertaining. “Hey, um, Atsumu? You were really great out there! You too Suna, all of you guys.” the team thanked you while Atsumu smirked at you, seeming amused. “Didn’t hear ya cheering out there for me doll” you scoffed at his cocky behaviour but felt your cheeks heating up at his casual pet name. “So, can i get yer number” you don’t know what about Atsumu was so magnetic but you felt yourself taking your phone from your pocket before you even responded. “Mhm, here” you smiled up at him and his cocky demeanour softened for a moment before he poked your forehead to distract you. “Wow real mature Tsumu” “Hmm already onto nicknames now y/n” he cocked a brow “Says you, doll~” he laughed at you, oblivious to the knowing stare of his twin.

~

After that night you started attending all the games, even attending practice some days just to talk to Atsumu about a new show or school work, him not having much to add too on the latter topic. A few weeks passed and you both started dating, most of your dates consisting of playful bickering in his house over what snacks to eat, what movie to watch and ended with Osamu yelling at you both to shut up. Atsumu brought out the fun side of you and you were able to ground him when he was out of hand.

“Tsums?” you looked up at him from his chest, tracing small patterns on his stomach. He hummed, looking down at you and pausing the movie when he saw your serious expression “what’s up doll?” you sighed, you felt stupid for being insecure but you couldn’t help it. You knew you weren’t his usual type, hell you guys rarely agreed on anything, but you knew he loved you, you both could agree on that much. Still, you couldn’t help but wander, where you really what he wanted? “I was just thinking, what do you like about me?” his fingers that were running through your hair stopped “get out of that pretty little head of yours, i don’t want anybody else, i don’t care about what anybody else is like you’re what i want and who i love okay?” “okay” you smiled against his chest as he pecked ur head “why? you haven’t found someone prettier than me have you?” “mm just Samu” he feigned a hurt expression, pouting like a child.

~~

Since then your relationship had changed over the years, the love you both shared was still just as strong and snarky as when you first met however snarky quickly turned to subtle digs, unsaid questions led to petty arguments where you both exploded. It was hard but he was always there afterwards, arms open to tell you how much he loved you and you the same.

Once quarantine started you weren’t worried, atsumu had less practice and there was more time for you both to talk on the phone. Conversations seemed forced, trying to find topics for both of you to talk about that extended beyond small talk. Communicating these problems was even harder, you didn’t know what to say or where to start. You only found the separation harder as time went on. You valued communication but even you found it hard to bring up issues when you were with Atsumu. You always had to anyway since Tsumu had a habit of bottling it up until you brought something up, leading to a fight. 

You’d both been arguing for so long your throat felt raw, you don’t even remember what started it this time but things piled on and you just kept arguing. “Well fuck sake y/n! At least take some fucking responsibility, not everything is my fucking fault and i’m sick of taking the blame so you can keep your pride!” you scoffed “MY pride? pull your head out of your ass Tsumu, maybe you take the blame a lot because, i don’t know, you’re at fault? I’m the one who tried to talk about this instead of just yelling about the past !” you continued arguing until you felt tired. You couldn’t be bothered anymore, you knew deep down you couldn’t be bothered with the constant fights, disagreements that led to personal digs, you stared at him through the screen, wondering how it ended up like this. “Tsumu i’m tired.” your change in tone had him pausing mid sentence, he took notice of your exhausted expression and assumed the worst. “y/n...you know i don’t mean what i say, you aren’t tired of me right?” it was strange hearing how vulnerable he sounded, you wanted nothing more to hold him but you couldn’t continue on like this and you both knew that. “Tsums, i think we-” “Y/n i love you. I know i’m not what you signed up for, i know we aren’t perfect but i love you.” tears were rolling down your cheeks, you didn’t want to do this, but you both needed this “Tsums i love you. I love you too, so so much, you’re my person but this isn’t good for us, maybe its the separation but we need some time apart, to figure out ourselves alone before we can be together. I know deep down you feel the same.” You continued to cry while Atsumu watched, heartbroken at how broken you looked. “Y/N, I’m sorry for all the fights, I never meant to escalate things, I was just more agitated, i couldn’t take it out in practice and i am not using that as an excuse i swear. I-I knew i was getting carried away in the heat of the moment but i love you okay? You know that.” you sniffled, wiping underneath your eyes “I love you too, and i’m sorry too okay? I’m not innocent here either.” you chuckled lightly, “take care of yourself Atsumu.” you offered him a teary smile, hearing a small “Goodbye y/n..” before you closed the lid to your computer, breathing in shakily. 

[samwontshare]

What do you think a typical day in the wilson household is like? :) Love ur blog btw!

Hi Nonny!

Thanks so much! I hope this is what you're after. Sorry it got away from me! :)

The morning? Well it's a race to see who's up first! Sam, Sarah, Bucky, the boys? It could be any of them.

Sarah is always up early prepping breakfast and lunches before she heads out for the day to make her catch. Now that they go through periods of chartering the boat, she has more free time to develop her pop up eatery and catering business. If she's not on the water, she's in the kitchen. But the food gig is growing fast and she's now renting an industrial kitchen. On weekdays, she gets the boys ready and sends them off to school. On weekends, she's probably enlisted them to help out or sent them off on activities or with relatives/friends while she works. There aren't exactly days off when you're a small business woman. After much protesting, she has finally allowed Sam and Bucky to help with breakfast and lunches and school runs. It's still hard for her to accept help, after so many years doing everything solo. Sarah also doesn't tell them about her hip hop ballet class with her bestie/ex-girlfriend Tatianna. Leave her some mystery.

Sam is also an early bird (get it? get it?). If he's not convinced Sarah that he can handle making breakfast and lunch, he's out on his morning run. If he's not out saving the world on a mission, he's enjoying his down time in NOLA to train. He tries to spend a few days a week in Delacroix and misses it when he's gone too long, but being Cap is more than a full time job. When the stress is too much, when someone has made some rotten comment he has to be too good to acknowledge, Delacroix is healing water for his soul. When he comes home, he is loved. The whole town couldn't be prouder of little Sammie Wilson, Paul and Darlene's youngest. They don't mind sassing him when they remember some of his more reckless years as a teenager or the sons whose hearts he may have broken. Sometimes he takes the boys to school, in part because he likes the attention the fawning kids and teachers give him and in part because he loves his nephews and wants to ensure they're well liked. Bullies gonna know their uncle is Captain America. When he had his heart at home, what did it matter what those other people thought?

AJ and Cass vary between being up at an ungodly early hour to sneak in a snack or video games and sleeping in until Sarah has to drag them out with foot tickles. Cass, being older, tends to be the mastermind of their schemes which have included surprising Sarah with every variety of small creature living in the bayou and coercing babysitters into extra screen time. He's bright and protective of his little brother. Cass had to be the man of the house at a very young age, after all, and he took this self-imposed responsibility very seriously by making sure AJ is ready for school on time and helps with setting the table.

AJ has more energy than a cranky gator and was promptly enrolled in martial arts to get his extra energy out so he could focus at school. He tends to do better with his hands, an engineering spirit. If there's something to build, he's on it. Uncle Bucky tends to be their favorite person to cajole into Lego sets, which Bucky can't stop buying for them and Sarah had to warn him off spoiling her children with expensive gifts - especially because the kids were telling him all about the newest gaming systems they would simply DIE if they did not own. Sam already directed them back to their mother because he knows better.

Bucky gets up early, disappears, and returns at a later time. He likes the mysterious vibe he gives off, but mostly he's seeing a therapist in NOLA who told him he needs to develop hobbies. And he would rather die than let Sam know he's taken up swing dancing, amongst other things. Also he has his own apartment in Delacroix, which he sometimes visits. What else is he doing? That's private (and Captain America).

In the evenings?

Everyone is tired after a long day, but that doesn't stop family dinner from being an important part of the Wilson family structure. Whenever they're all together, the boys set the table while Sarah and Sam cook. Sarah is teaching Bucky a thing or two about Southern cooking (another hobby). Sam and Sarah have a heated debate over the best brand of Louisiana hot sauce and though the Lord taught Sarah not to judge, Sam is wrong about his love of Tabasco over Crystal. Bucky says he likes both because he likes peace these days.

After dinner, they try to spend some dedicated family time. Clean up is a joint affair with everyone playing a role. Chores are treated as a family activity - everyone works together to keep their home happy - and are done together whenever possible. Plus video games are often a reward so y'know. The boys have been catching Sam and Bucky up on all the video games they've missed over the last 5 (and more) years.

But they often resort to card games, dominos, checkers and chess because Bucky gets strangely nostalgic about it around the boys and maybe because he keeps losing spades to the old men at the docks and Sam is uncertain he'll ever 1) win 2) admit defeat. Sam takes it upon himself to educate the boys on the finer points of soul and jazz. Live performances are a big weekend Wilson family activity; not hard to find in NOLA. (But Sam mosts wants to take the boys to an air show where they can see the fighter jets fly in formation and eat bad fair food. Sam secretly wants to lead one.)

It's a toss up who enjoys reading more, Sam or Bucky, but the one activity Sam doesn't let Bucky partake in is reading to the boys at night. He knows it sounds stupid, but he did it when they were babies and now that they're grown, it helps him feel like he's getting those years back. Also he doesn't want Bucky to hear the (perfect) voices he makes for each character.

The adults might drink and shoot the shit on the porch until even the bugs want them to go back inside.

[mikaze-discord]

Love letter project ♡

Sooo to celebrate the 4th anniversary of Shining live, I put together a project! I basically got a bunch of people to write a love letter for their favourite boy. Things like, why they like them, how they got to like them and what they like about them were all accepted!

The event was supposed to have 2 fans for each boy but unfortunately I was unable to get two for some of the boys. 

Under the cut will be the love letters for all of Class A!!! Please enjoy~ And thank you for all the people who participated in the event and taking the time to write the love letters out. 

CLASS A

OTOYA ITTOKI

From @ponzu-penzui:

Hello world! My nickname is Yuki, and I’m here to tell you about the sunshine boy that is Otoya Ittoki. The redhead of the series, Otoya is your seemingly a-typical sunshine in a mascot boy character. But, as we all know with these types, the sunshine isn’t as, well, sunshine as they seem. Or, if you didn’t know, well… spoiler alert I guess. Go watch the anime, or play the otome games, then come back here. Anyways, let’s get started on our journey, shall we? Through the rabbithole that got me here in the first place!

Otoya immediately became my best boy the second I saw him. I’m not quite sure what immediately got me at first, whether it be his red hair and eyes, his voice, or his immediate friendliness, but here we are. I should also mention that UtaPri was my first idol anime, so I was completely unaware what was going to hit me later. And, if you’ve watched the entire anime, you know where I’m going.

Season 4 was an emotional wreck. I cried at least twice. Did I have a newfound appreciation for Otoya after all that heartache? Definitely. Without spoilers, it was incredibly painful for me to watch, but I don’t regret it.

After watching the anime, I soon found out about the existence of Shining Live. So, with no other UtaPri content to binge, I started to play SL in late 2018. After playing for a little more than a year, I tiered in my first Otoya event (Heartwarming Snow Festival), and achieved my first top 200. Ever since then, I’ve tiered in every Otoya event, getting top 200, then top 100.

But, why do I like Otoya Ittoki even to this day? Well, I guess this is the time where I say that, after a certain point, I started to see bits of myself in Otoya. This led me to start to RP him, and, as you probably know if you’ve ever roleplayed a character before, I started to look at the miniscule amount of translated game content (many thanks to the Ohayaho Translation Team) for, well, more content. And content I did receive. Long story short, this only served to solidify Otoya as my favorite boy of not only UtaPri, but from all anime/manga/game content I’ve ever seen/watched. His cheerfulness may have been the first thing that got me in this rabbithole, but his backstory and how he managed to grow up pulled me in even further. And, I don’t think I will or want to get out anytime soon.

Next one from; Anon

As much as we all know our Otoya for how sweet and kind he is, there is so much more to him than just a precious smile. He is uplifting, cheerful towards everyone he meets. He has empathy and goes out of his way to make sure his friends are happy. Even so, Otoya has feelings that aren’t always happiness and smiles. He can feel sad and angry just like anyone else.

The reason I care and love Otoya so much is because he has shown me that I don’t have to always put on a smile. It’s nice to show off your pearly whites, but sometimes, it’s okay to be sad too. There are times in everyone’s life when they feel out of place and that they don’t belong. Otoya also felt this way and that’s perfectly okay. He’s still being the best idol he can be: The idol that Otoya loves the most.

MASATO HIJIRIKAWA

From Anon: 

Masato Hijirikawa. Why do I like Masato Hijirikawa? I like him to the point that it feels weird for me to even question why I do. He's just- a good boy. A great boy. I love him. As a joke, I'd usually say that it was his weirdly pretty, bowl-cut hairstyle that drew me to him, or I'd say that he caught my interest when I read that he was "very good with his hands" (wink wonk) in his Shining Live description, and while both of these reasons are still true, it wasn't until I started role playing him in an old server that I really started to appreciate his character more.

Masato, despite his aloof and almost "perfect" initial image, is a very relatable character. When he first arrived at Saotome (in-game) he wasn't necessarily seen as someone with a lot of talent to become an idol, which he acknowledged with grace and worked hard to make up for. He's humble despite his privileged upbringing and is incredibly self-aware of his flaws, which are sources of insecurity for him sometimes (a lot of times). Though it should be said that most of this insecurity stems from not having a lot of control over his early life, which is why it felt so gratifying to see him break free of his metaphorical chains to pursue his happiness without any doubts. He's a hard worker and is willing to accept criticism with open arms, not only for himself but for the people around him. Despite his traditional upbringing and nature, he's very receptive to change as long as it benefits both him and STARISH. He values the people he cares about more than anything, which is why he constantly strives to be a better version of himself every day, not only for himself but for the people around him.

Though his stoicism sometimes makes him seem plain or even "boring" to some people, he hides a warm, hidden passion within that's just as bright as everyone else's. Like the springtime bloom of cherry blossoms after winter, Masato shows his passion and love with no restraint to anyone who takes the time to understand him, and I can very much attest to this. I love him a lot and I hope to see more content of him, STARISH, and the others for more years to come.

NATSUKI SHINOMIYA

From uh....me:

HELLO I’m Z~ also known as the mod of the mikaze-discord/utapri-hcs tumblrs, as well as the organiser for the event! But enough about myself, let's talk about Natsuki Shinomiya.

When I first watched the anime as a youngin, I had already known about the games and their plots but had decided to try out the anime as well since I had nothing better to do.

Natsuki was actually one of my least favourite characters in the anime just because of how they presented him. I just...didn't care for him at all. He was just some random tall guy who loved hugs and almost murder…. Yeah.

I’m sure like most, I had a changing point. Originally, I was a Tokiya rper but...I was just unhappy with how my Tokiya was, I wasn't as experienced in rping with that server being my first rp server i was ever in. I didn't feel like I matched up with the others. I felt my Tokiya was just lacking something, substance maybe. Another person actually had a similar feeling and had changed their character from Camus to Syo and since we already had an Ai, I had just decided to go with the flow and complete the rest of the cute team. Best decision of my life. I’m so grateful for Natsuki and everything I associate him with. Without him, I probably wouldn't have made my tumblrs, I wouldn't have stayed in that server, I wouldn't have gone looking for other servers to rp in. I don't think I would be the same without Natsuki. I just find him so endearing now, he is just a lovable giant who happens to be able to be a disney princess. He is just so darn cute damn it. , just look at his Christmas card, his King card, quite literally just half his Shining live URs. Also, just like his songs just slap. Natsuki to me, is just serotonin. He gave me so many opportunities that I could have missed. I don't even think I would have started this love letter project without him if I’m being completely honest. I genuinely enjoyed all the memories I made as Natsuki. Thank you to Natsuki and to the Mikaze-discord for basically starting me off.

From Luke:

Natsuki was actually the very first character I encountered before I got into utapri. A friend showed a photo of him and told me that I'd probably be into this guy. She sure was right! After installing shining live for the first time and having a familiar face on the screen, I grew curious of him each day and just had to find out why was so attracted to him. The fact that I've seen him so many times in the past was haunting me, telling me that this man actually watched me grow up from a distance without even knowing his name. It sounds weird but I find it rather comforting for someone who doesn't want to be protected but isn't strong enough to defend myself alone.

The thought of having him there was enough to get me through the day and gave me enough reason to wake up to the next. I admit I may have adapted some of his habits after looking after his account for a year but that isn't a bad thing if it means that it would turn me into a much better person than I am now. I guess you could say we've grown together now in a sense, preserving the feelings and just living through the moment no matter how happy or sad it is. What's important is that we're not alone in all things we do and in everything we feel, there will always be someone there to keep us moving when we feel like giving up.

[denkisdurag]

midoriya, bakugo, todoroki x reader

summary : they hear you blasting music in your dorm and come to check it out bc bro what is goin on up there (headcanon)

warnings: swearing, ex-boyfriends/romance ???, it's mostly just humorous fluff lol

a/n: u kinda have to be black to read bakugo's because reader says the n-word i'm sorry 😔 also bakugo's is like super long bc i was gettin into it so yeah

(bakugo’s a lil ooc ,,)

---

izuku midoriya - smile by lily allen

first, lemme just say, bless deku's heart

mans really thought you were blasting music because you were in your feelings

but bro, you were e c s t a t i c

you had finally cut things off with your toxic boyfriend

ex now ahahahaha

and deku knew that you had broken up

so now you were vibin in your dorm

and broccoli baby thought something was wrong

so when he walked up to your door and opened it

he was extremely surprised to see you joyfully jumping around

taking a second to acknowledge the music playing, he chuckled to himself

"lily allen." he whispered under his breath with a small grin

he was more than aware of the kind of music she made

he thought you would've been crying or something

thought you would feel at least a little sad

yet here you were, doing the dougie

and then ???

you break out ???

in like ???

a choreographed number ?????

it looked like you had been preparing for this for ages

but considering how long you were with your ex, that didn't seem so farfetched

"AT FIRST, WHEN I SEE YOU CRY, IT MAKES ME SMILE, YEAH IT MAKES ME SMILE"

and you were, in fact, smiling

getting a sudden burst of confidence, deku swung the door open

and starts singing with you

"AT WORST, YOU FEEL BAD FOR A WHILE"

you jump and turn around, smiling once you realize who it is

"BUT THEN I JUST SMILE"

"YOU GO AHEAD AND SMILE"

even if he was a lil off key

you were enjoying yourselves

the vibes ? top tier. immaculate. show stopping. never seen before–

eventually the song ends and y'all leave the dorms together

and went downstairs to dine

your ex saw you two

and angrily stomped off

but needless to say, you got over that man q u i c k

katsuki bakugo - murder on my mind by ynw melly

first of all, mans was tryna nap

so what the fuck bro

anyway

your boyfriend had cheated on you and you had just broken up with him

as u should

obviously, you were moody

bc who wouldn't be

and as a result

you decided to blast music on your giant speakers you somehow managed to get into the school, let alone your dorm

no one was in the room so you didn't think of any consequences

and so it began

you started the song

and upped the bass as much as possible

nigga you were loud as hell

meanwhile, bakugo is like a few floors away

he doesn't appreciate your volume

like

at all

but of course, who's gonna stop you, he's not even up here

after trying and failing to cover his ears with his pillow, he charges up the stairs

mans was mAd

the chorus hits just as he opens the door

and you, of course, are stood up, but hunched over, screaming with everything you got

"I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING I GOT MURDER ON MY MIND"

he just kinda stands there like

what in the h e l l did mans do to you

he's like ,, frozen

but you aren't facing the door anyway

"AK-47 MAC-11 GLOCKS AND 9's" as you shoot finger guns literally everywhere around you

then you start sadly throwing it back ???

like ?? you're bent over and shakin' all that ass ?? but with a discouraged look on ur face ?????

he's still standing there

you turn around and notice

like "bro there's a whole nigga at the door"

so you guys are just kinda ,, staring at each other while deafening music is just playing in background and the floor is shaking due to the bass boost

but remembering why you were doing this in the first place, you continue sorrowly throwing it back and screaming the lyrics

instead of cussing you out like he planned

bakugo realizes what this is all about (he had heard the rumors floating around about you and your bf)

and feels ??? bad ?????

so without thinking about what he's doing

he sighs and steps into the dorm

"I GOT MURDER ON MY MIND I GOT MURDER ON MY MIND" he screams, submitting himself to the angst

as the chorus starts up again, you look at him, foggy eyed

walking over, you grab his hands and he stiffens

but as you whip your head back, looking up at the ceiling

he realizes and does the same

and now,

at the top of both of your lungs ,,

...

"WAKE UP IN THE MORNING WE GOT MURDER ON OUR MINDS"

"AK-47's MAC-11's GLOCKS AND 9's"

you got closer to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder but aiming your mouth away from his ear

"ALL THESE PUSSY NIGGAS TRYNA KNOCK ME OFF MY GRIND"

reluctantly, he wraps his own arms around your torso, looking slightly up again

"I GOT MURDER ON MY MIND"

"WE GOT MURDER ON OUR MINDS"

and you two stayed like that for lord knows how long, blasting songs filled with angst and screaming them with just as much, if not more attitude

and you bET that you threw it back a lot more

like damn bitch slay but at least leave some ass for the rest of us 😤

bakugo lowkey wanted to catch it all

but he thought it wasn't the right time

he's respectful 😌

anyway

one of the songs that played was smack a bitch by rico nasty and y'all got h y p e

you may have lost a boyfriend but you made a boy friend aw

shoto todoroki - raindrops (an angel cried) by ariana grande

when todoroki walks past your dorm

he can hear your soft cries and a just as soft song

his eyebrows furrow

cracking the door open and peeking through, he sees you sat on your bed and leaning on the frame, face tear-streaked and eyes shut

but then you do the unthinkable and start singing along

"when raindrops fell,"

as soon as he heard your voice, he froze and his face tinted pink

"down from the sky,"

"the day you left me,"

"an angel cried."

the way you hit all the runs perfectly

the way you had so much passion in such a quiet song

"ohhhh, she cried."

"an angel cried."

he closed his eyes, enjoying what he was hearing

"she criiiied."

that was it.

that final high note.

he was sold.

softly, he knocked on the door, "may i come in?" even if he was concerned, his voice remained monotonous

you sniffled, "i guess."

he sat with you and asked what was wrong and it all spilled out

you immediately confided everything in him

you weren't sure why

but you couldn't stop

it just kept coming

by the time you had finished telling him everything, you were in his lap, arms around his neck, sobbing into his shirt

bruh how'd the hell you get there ,,, chile anyways

he was happy you trusted him with all that

and your relationship simply bloomed

all because he thought your singing was pretty

:’)

[monsieur-hadrien]

Harry Potter Fanfic Recommendations continued...

I did one of these lists back in June, and y’all KNOW! that I have even more to share with the world.

This list is a mix between crossovers and single-fandom fics, and are drarry or rarepair-centric, but either way I’ll mark which are which when I get to it.

If you want to see what I’ve been enjoying lately, check out my bookmarks on the Archive

Man of Iron, Child of Magic by zathara001

Harry Potter and MCU, no slash, 107k word count, 32 chapters, completed, teen

In the aftermath of the Chitauri invasion, Tony Stark sorts out his priorities - including one he didn't think he had.

Okay I followed this one from the beginning as a WIP because this is exactly the fic that I was looking for. Tony being Irondad for Harry is the most wholesome thing ever, and Uncle Steve is also 20/10. I will say, this fic is not as dark as a lot of this hp/mcu fics of this trope because it happens in Harry’s younger Hogwarts years and his childhood isn’t too ruined just yet. It focuses a lot on Tony’s growth as a father rather than working through Harry’s trauma (which, don’t get me wrong, that happens as well). Harry still has the naive outlook on life that a child should have and it just makes my heart swell.

Although this fic is done, the sequel has not been uploaded yet, as this fic was just completed late August, but don’t let that deter you. The author is a sweetheart to interact with on new updates (which were quite frequent).

Golden Boy’s Dance by Madriddler

Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy/Blaise Zabini, 57k word count, 13 chapters, completed, explicit

Two years after the defeat of Voldemort and Harry is feeling useless. Jobless and suffering from PTSD, Harry spent his days going from horrible interview to horrible interview hopelessly looking for a job. Feeling completely useless, Harry, with the help of George, turns to a new profession that Harry never even thought of : being a camboy. Pleasuring himself for money and people's entertainment, Harry hopes to find a use for the Savior of the Wizarding World in this Peaceful Era.

Yeah so uh,,, this is a total guilty pleasure kink fic and I’m not at all ashamed for putting this fic on here. I won’t even lie, sometimes it felt a bit cheesey, but the porn was so well written it didn’t even matter. I swear to you this is porn with plot and lots of it. Harry works through his post traumatic stress disorder in ways that may or may not be slightly unhealthy, but beyond the porn, it’s really about Harry being okay in his own skin, as someone with mental health issues and as a sex worker. It was a hell of a good time to read and I definitely cried for Harry a time or two.

A Dented Old Street Sign by orphanghost

Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, 27k word count, one-shot, completed, mature

Draco knows they aren't the only students who will be completing their NEWTs this year, but they are the only ones whose home fireplaces were disconnected from the floo network by the ministry.

At least, Draco assumes as much until he sees the light falling out from the front door of one of the other rickety old houses in front of them and the three figures cast in its warm glow. For a moment they look like some sort of strange, many legged creature. An acromantula, or a particularly massive Blast-Ended Skrewt. Then Draco hears Pansy make a disgusted sound beside him and the light falls in a less blinding way, and Draco can see that it is actually Potter and the Weasel carrying a large couch between them, and Granger fluttering around them with her wand out, seeming concerned.

I don’t think I’ve laughed this much reading a fic in a long time. The golden trio and the Slytherin gang live in the same neighborhood while attending their 8th year at Hogwarts and i swear to fucking god, the amount of mutual pining and angst between Harry and Draco is fucking ridiculous, but you can’t help but love them anyway. Sometimes I wanted to throttle them and then shove them into a closet together so they would just t a l k but like in a good way. also the Christmastime atmosphere is something I just live for.

Words Unread, Things Unsaid by PinkCrupps

Harry Potter, no slash Harry & Snape, 18k word count, 7 chapters, completed, teen

What if the Dursley’s were a little crueler, and a little smarter? What if they didn’t want Harry going to school because they didn’t want anyone to see the bruises?

What if Harry had to leave for Hogwarts, carrying a shameful secret? One that Severus Snape is determined to discover.

When I say this one hurt, I mean it h u r t. I feel so bad because when I first read the tags I laughed when I saw the illiterate tag because I make the “I can’t read” jokes often but then I read the fic and i felt SO BAD OMG.

I am no fan of Snape, let it be known, but this fic, I think made me feel like he actually deserved a bit of a redemption arc (even if it’s fanon). This whole time, all I could think of is giving harry a big hug and never letting him go.

I said this in the notes of my bookmark, and I stand by it: “

I feel like the hurt/comfort tag on this one is also meant for the reader”

What Happens to the Heart by Mossycoat

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 33k word count, 18 chapters, completed, mature

With no girlfriend, no job, and no idea what he wants, Harry has decided to let life go on without him. If only prophetic dreams, demanding ghosts, and Draco Malfoy would let him.

If you need a pick-me-up after the sadness for the prior fic, may i recommend this one. Seer!Harry is a headcanon that I had never seen before this fic, and I was not let down whatsoever. We love a fic where the OCs are wonderful and the writing style is immaculate. The incorporation of tarot and divination into the chapter names and plot also makes my babywitch heart s i n g!!

Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Relevant_Peach

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 70k word count, 15 chapters, completed, no rating specified, but probably teen/ mature for mental health tingz

Draco Malfoy would do anything to find a cure for his son's life-threatening disease. When he crosses paths with an old acquaintance, it unleashes a string of events that will uncover secrets and deceptions. Will Draco be able to look past the misdeeds of his old lover's past? Will Harry ever find the family he longs for?

Ah yes, who knew that pain could feel so good. Everything seems to be fine until it isn’t with this one.

Turn by Saras_Girl

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 306k word count, 14  chapters, completed, explicit

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

oh my goD yes a classic we love to see it. This is one of those fics that is long but doesn’t reallly feel like it is? This is definitely another feel-good fic, even if it doesn’t seem that way in the beginning. Not only does it focus on Harry and Draco’s relationship, but also their relationships with their family, specifically their children. It’s just really heartwarming whenever Harry get’s all fatherly with his kids. ugh I swear I don’t want any but this is just SO ADORABLE! Plus Blaise Zabini rights thank you very much.

Also Boris can suck my left toe.

There’s a Pureblood Custom For That by Lomonaaeren

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 105k word count, 36 chapters, completed, mature

The day that Harry stops Draco Malfoy and his son from being bothered in the middle of Diagon Alley starts a strange series of interactions between him and Malfoy. Who knew there was a pure-blood custom for every situation?

This is another fluffier one, and I have absolutely no shame. Draco is just trying so hard to get through Harry’s thick, clueless skull and Harry is just trying to understand. They’re just so adorable I can’t. And Harry defending Draco’s and his relationship after people are like fuck naw just warms my heart. Like yes Harry, protect ur mans you adorable himbo you.

Our Own Demons by Emmalie22

Harry Potter, MCU, Harry Potter & Tony Stark, Harry Potter/Peter Parker, 119k word count, 24 chapters, WIP, teen/mature

Tony Stark. Genius. Billionaire. Philanthropist. Ironman. (Reckless. Lonely. Father.)

Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived. The Chosen One. Wizard. (The Master of Death. Survivor. Breaking.)

Tony Stark never thought he would be a father. But when a lawyer comes knocking and truths become evident, he realizes that he can’t let his son walk out of his life. For Harry, acknowledging his relationship with Tony is a last-ditch effort to gain freedom and control over his life. Although the journey might not be easy, Tony and Harry learn to heal and become a family, facing trials and tribulations on the way such as a scheming Death, a Mad Titian, Dark Wizards, dangerous Doctors, and living Wards.

I’m so sorry to give you a WIP that hasn’t been updated in 10 months, but I couldn’t let this one slide. I’m so attached to these characters it’s unhealthy. I’m not gonna lie, this fic was the product of a very hyperspecific filtered search on AO3 but I’m not even mad at it. Tony is Harry’s father but unlike the other fic on this rec list, Harry is a bit more grown up and bears a lot of the scars of 5th year (y’all don’t need me to specify with that one). It’s a lovely family dynamic and super fluffy Peter and Harry wow we love to see it. Harry is also super fucking smart AS HE IS! I will never get over people calling him stupid ugh Harry rights. But yes, author friend, if you see this, update when you can I’m so in love with this.

If anybody wants me to do more specific lists, I will totally do so. Just reblog or private message me. And if you have any other fic recs, please do so too because I’m always looking for something else to read.

[yomiurinikei]

I think when Sora said that to Yuuki she was upset, but I don't remember her telling anyone to kill themselves aside from Mikado and that one's optional when you do his free time events.

i apologize if this is weirdly written, in writing this inbetween watching the video, but! here's abt how it goes down

reminder: this is a killing game meant to make him feel hopeless, i don't think it'd b a stretch to say mikado was going it'd end like this, with his favorite actress + a band he likes being revealed as void/one member being a crazy incestual murderer 

sora is talking to everyone abt how they should work together to make hope. yuuki says he agrees with her, but he feels like there isn't any hope. He says Sora was feeling similarly yesterday, and asks if she's found a clue, and if that's why she's more hopeful now. At this point, Yoruko gets upset with him. 

sora says that yuuki should keep trying, keep working so they can escape the island (imo it comes across as “if ur depressed, just try thinking positive thoughts!” good in theory, but so fucking hard + negates what the person is going through, but i might just b looking too much into it)

okay so this just happened: mikado just applauded sora, which. actually kinda goes and works well with a theory i haven't talked about much: mikado programmed sora to hurt yuuki and make him fall into despair while posing as his friend. a example of this: later on, yuuki apologizes to sora (as he should've done) but rather than being all “ty for apologizing, i also could've handled the situation better” she just says something along the lines of “"i'm glad u realized u were being bad :)” and doesn't acknowledge where she went wrong, and makes yuuki feel guiltier, but that's just a theory i can but won't go more into (at least, not here)

next, yuuki says that what she's saying is a hollow platitude (aka: everyone says that, it's not helpful) sora says that her platitudes are better than “the aimless whines of a identically hopeless baby like you (yuuki)” i don't wanna copy the rest down, imma just summarize it only using words they actually say, but she says that he's always whining but never thinks of discussing it. now in this scene, yuuki. is actually trying to discuss with everyone, he just hasn't been persuaded yet to have hope in a game that has caused the death of 7 people so far, where literally anyone could be planning to sacrifice you and there's been no sign of change for weeks now.

yuuki says that talking won't find the exit, and sora says a person who complains will never escape. yuuki goes “"you little...!” (which, side note, is incredibly similar to what both shinji and yoruko said to him minutes ago) sora resounds with this, which my lovely bf actually typed out as a exact quote, ty babe ily “is that your attempt at threatening me? my aren’t you scary? would you like to hit me? come on hit me. as if you even have the courage to do that” 

yoruko calls her pissed off, which tells us abt her tone, shinji tells yuuki to stop, and we see some of soras internal thoughts. she calls yuuki pathetic, and apologizes. we. never see sora show any actual regret, only upset that she keeps getting angry. i'm not gonna go watch other videos, but. yea 

so sora was angry because yuuki was “pathetic” which i think is a reflection abt how deep down she is akane taira (not really, but they're meant to be similar) and how akane would be angry is master utsuro was hurt because she views him as being better than being upset. 

what yuuki did wasn't okay, he apologized, and that's what he should've done. however, sora also should have apologized, as this is just one of the many times yuuki has been hurting (my memory fails me, but in the video she mentions being angry and yelling at yuuki before) he's gone to a friend for help, and just been mocked and berated. sora was trying to provoke him when he was hurt and vulnerable. they were both wrong, but yuuki is the only one who ever shows remorse and who ever apologizes

and we already talked abt ur point with sora and mikado, both the ask u sent me, and the other anon + this is pretty long and my fingers hurt like hell so uh. the end :D

[liveonmtv]

cash machine || kth

pairing: kim taehyung/f!reader genre: fluff & humor. crack actually. crack cocaine. word count: 11.1k warnings: strong language, drinking, an unwated kiss (not from tae), unsanitary jokes (i’m immature), implied sex, vomiting extra: (fr)enemies to lovers, road trip au, rich kids au but it’s barely there also they’re on summer vacation, also this story takes place in the usa JUST to drag the trip out tbh

summary: Jungkook and Seokjin get a little problematic, you have anger issues and Taehyung is under the impression that he killed a man. Also, did you mention that you’re on your way to your unfunny cousin’s wedding? Go on a road trip from Missouri to Las Vegas and you’ll be in for a hilarious yet scary experience! 

a/n: hi! i’m just starting this account out, so reblogging would mean a lot to me. i’m a novice to writing, so criticism is welcome as long as you’re not rude about it. have fun reading (i hope)! i also have a jungkook fic planned next (:

song

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Jungkook has that look in his face, the one he makes where the person sitting opposite of him is about as depraved as he is. He’s given it to you while you were explaining to him how to scam desperate men under the preface of a faux premium Snapchat and he’s given it to Jimin when they were finishing their high school careers and decided to release grasshoppers in the principal’s office. 

However, if there’s one person that’s about as fucked up in the head as he is, it’s Seokjin. The man also suffers from SMSTS as well (Serious Misconception of Sexual Tension Syndrome, and yes, that’s quite a lot of s’s), which doesn’t hurt given the current affairs. 

While Jungkook is aware that Jimin and Hoseok are always up for a bit of mischief, he has ruled them both out as incompetents and moved on to the real deal. Jimin has these rare moments of sanity and Hoseok, as your most loyal little bitchboy, would probably tattle the situation with made-up details to you before the plan is even set in action. 

So, Seokjin it is. 

The story begins in a faraway land before Jungkook knew about the tragic facets of your family’s relationships. Though his friend group is on good terms with your siblings and your other close relatives are aware of their existence and somehow only have good things to say about them, he never thought they’d be invited to your cousin’s wedding. To be fair, you had to do some serious persuasion for your family to allow you to invite six more people to somebody else’s wedding so there’s that factor contributing, but still, the offer is out of the blue.

Somewhere along the way, you went on a tangent about how much you hate your cousin and how your aunt doesn’t have eyebrows and how bothersome it is to look at her face. Your horror stories were mostly you just being your usual dramatic self, but they also revealed that the [L/n]s aren’t what they appear to be. 

You begged and begged for them to accept the invitations, and though Namjoon and Yoongi, unfortunately, couldn’t make it, the others agreed. 

Then arose the problem of the sixth spot that couldn’t be filled. You would’ve just let it be but your parents insisted that if you’re going to ask for something, you should fulfill it until the end. It was Namjoon you’d asked to come first, but he was busy with visiting family back in Seoul, and Yoongi then declared that he didn’t feel like humoring you this once. And that was the exact moment Jungkook decided to strike.

“You want to play matchmaker?” Jin asks. And though he looks almost skeptical, his tone is definitely an excited one. “With [Y/n] and Tae, of all people?” 

“Well yes, think about it logically,” he explains as he is about to say something completely illogical. “She has that sixth spot to fill, she has no other friends and they’re perfect for each other. All the other shit we’re gonna pull is just for fun, though.”  

Jin laughs an evil laugh, always one to be up for evil schemes. Just another evil day in the evil life of Kim Seokjin. “Well, [Y/n] is Tae’s perfect mean girl. And that girl needs either therapy or to get laid, but like, same.” 

“See? You get me.”

“To be fair, I think that goes for all of us. No offense.” 

“None taken,” Jungkook agrees. “Anyways, I was thinking of a… road trip.” 

“Well you didn’t have to be so dramatic about it, this isn’t The Godfather. Though I do feel like I’ve definitely got a bit of Michael Corleone in me.” 

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly at the other fiend’s remark. “You can pray to god all you want. Here in these streets, the only thing we believe in is El Chapo.” 

“I— Okay…” 

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[11:05] LeBruh James: wtf is wrong with u

[11:05] LeBruh James: get help seriously

[11:06] jk the slump god: all i said was that u should invite taehyung as the 6th person to ur cussin’s wedding 

[11:06] jk the slump god: overreacting arent we 

[11:10] LeBruh James: what the hell is a cussin bitch im gonna kill u

[11:13] jk the slump god: not like u have anyone else to invite tho 

[11:13] jk the slump god: hes not that bad ur just being urself

[11:14] LeBruh James: ur literally Not helping ur case rn

[09:45] LeBruh James: none of the girls want to gooooo

[09:45] LeBruh James: fine if it has to be taehyung ig ill live w it

[10:30] jk the slump god: great he already said yes

[10:30] jk the slump god: btw we’re gonna go in las vegas at the end of a road trip u in?

[10:33] LeBruh James: HE SAID YES BEFORE I EVEN INVITED HIM…

[10:33] LeBruh James: EYE. OK.

[10:33] LeBruh James: on one hand i kind of dont want to see any of u but if ur all gone i wont have anything to do b4 the wedding so i guess im in by proxy

[10:34] jk the slump god: lovely doing business with u y/n-chan

[10:36] LeBruh James: call me y/n-chan again and I Will Put ur Dick-Chan in a Freezer-sama and then Cut-san it off

[10:39] jk the slump god: i dont think ur using the honorifics correctly tbh..

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“I don’t see how this is a good idea,” you state with a dramatic pout while looking out of the window. Your expression is solemn. 

Taehyung kind of can’t believe that you’re throwing a tantrum just because you had to sit next to him in the three-row SUV, but on the other hand, he’s kind of into it. You’re more appalled by the fact that he’s not as disgusting up close as you’d imagined him to be. Well granted, you’re being immature, but it’s your shtick so they take it with a grain of salt.

“Why’s that?” Jungkook asks obtusely. He ruined your life the moment he started calling you [Y/n]-chan and he has that bad case of crazy eyes he gets sometimes when you look at his reflection in the mirror going on right now. You’d be more understanding of his condition, hadn’t your trip started barely five minutes ago. 

“What do you mean why is that? We’re all unstable backstabbing lunatics, do you think we can survive together for six whole days?! Stranded or even in a hotel? And then the ride back to Springfield?”

“Hotel? You’re funny. It’s always been my dream to sleep in a motel,” Jin pipes up. 

“Seriously? No limo, now this.”

“Hotel, motel, holiday inn,” Hoseok starts singing. Perhaps if it was queen Britney, it would’ve curbed your temper but fate doesn’t seem to be that kind. 

“Hotel, motel, holiday inn! Hotel, motel, holiday inn! Hotel, motel, holiday inn!” 

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“So we’re not going to visit the Grand Canyon?” 

“It’s in Nevada,” Jimin explains. “We don’t have any business there except for going to the wedding. I’d be more down to do it if I wasn’t afraid that one of us, meaning [Y/n], would push one of the others, meaning you, in the gutter.” 

“Just a little visit?” Taehyung is talented at only hearing what he wants to hear. However, that doesn’t make the conversation any more productive.

“Well not to be the acrophobic buzzkill, but why are you so adamant about visiting the Grand Canyon?” This is the first time you’ve directly addressed Taehyung since the beginning of these mind-numbing two hours. Jin, hands still on the wheel, dares to take a peek at Jungkook and smile an asshole-type smile before almost accidentally crashing into a pole. 

“Watch the road!” Hoseok cries out. Everyone else either refuses to acknowledge what just occurred or decides to spare themselves from doing so.

“Jin says that he always wanted to sleep in a motel. I have another dream.” 

“To visit the Grand Canyon?”

“Not exactly. I want to take a shit in there and see if I can hear it splatter. Think that’s possible?”

“Maybe if you angle your butthole the right way—” Jimin’s explanation is cut short.

“Oh my god, you are disgusting. Shut up. I don’t want to hear it.”  

“What did I tell you about El Chapo, [N/n]?” 

“What about El Chapo?”

“Holy shit, I think I’m confusing conversations,” Jungkook admits. Jin offers no more than an eye-roll.

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Tulsa is a dump, really. Unfortunate that you had to make a stop here but also you’re satisfied because your right asscheek feels numb right now. Might have to take Kelly for a walk, though.  

Taehyung stumbles out of the vehicle after you and all six of you seize each other fleetingly before making your way towards the gas station, a tense sort of silence following. You’re first to speak up. “Y’know, I’ve been listening to your voices for so long now that I don’t wanna look at your faces.” 

“This tbh,” Hoseok agrees with your most profound sentiments as per the usual. He’s quick to match your pace, trailing after you like a lost puppy, successfully getting Taehyung out of his way. He puts his arm around your shoulders casually and you give him that sardonic smile that’s only really reserved for him.

“Don’t say tee-bee-aytch out loud. I get humiliation by proxy.” 

Jungkook makes an exaggerated gagging sound before nudging Taehyung subtly enough that Jin is the only one who sees the interaction. Though the eldest had agreed with his deranged idea, there’s one thing that Kook knows that Jin hasn’t come to find out. 

Taehyung has an ongoing problem or maybe he’s a masochist. He’s always been one to internally get attached to these girls who’d never give him the time of day, who can’t stand him at all. The tragedy-comedy that is his best friend’s love life started on a rainy day in second grade when a girl by the name of Seulbi punched him in the face and he was hooked on her for three years after. 

After the infamous Seulbi, came Yeonji from the cheerleading club who blew off his invite to his first-ever party when they were fifteen. She’d called him a loser to his face and he was smitten with her for a while, too. 

And then, you appeared in his life seemingly out of nowhere. Hoseok’s catty best friend with a tongue sharper than her stilettos and lipstick that goes perfectly with her skin tone. 

Of course, he was aware of your existence prior to that accident he calls his first conversation with you—be it from the exciting yet flat-out brain dead antics Hoseok would describe you’d gotten caught up in at the time or from the sound of your heels sinking into the floor promptly before you entered math class.  You were always late but claimed that the teacher should be grateful because you cut in line to arrive at school earlier. You always had one of those shitty overrated pumpkin spice lattes in your manicured hands. 

Simply put, Taehyung likes you. Though after your disastrous first meeting during which, blunt-natured and seemingly lacking a sense of self-preservation, he called you a stuck up moron and you threatened to make an attempt at his life. With your bullheaded nature, things never did solve themselves after that one instance.

It’s not something that he’s expressed outwardly, but Jungkook knows him better than he knows the back of his hand. Unfortunately, he knows you too, even if not as well and he knows how you can’t get a boyfriend because you either scare them away or you find out they’re only after a quick fuck and some money. 

Regardless, Jungkook writes off his inner ramblings as irrelevant before turning to Jin in what could be described as a conspirative manner. While clumsily handing the cashier gas money, he whispers something in the other man’s ear and Jin’s eyes literally twinkle like he’s in a low-budget porno. 

He nods, furiously so, and the cashier simply stares at them like they’re two idiots that somehow merged into one. It’s not a pretty sight. 

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“What? We’re sleeping out here?” Your whining is to be expected by now. Had any of your friends written an actual, physical, list of all the things you’ve complained about so far, it’d probably fill a notebook. Thankfully enough, said list remained as a mental compilation of your not-so-epic moments. “What about the motel?” 

“Oh, so now you want a motel?” Jin quips back with a smirk. “They always come ‘round.” 

Despite his boasting and apparent eagerness to go to a motel, that doesn’t change the fact that you all find yourselves in a campsite. You’re not an outdoor person save for going to parties or on a shopping spree with Hoseok. And well, your surroundings are a bit too green right now.

Taehyung is the next person to speak up, with a tense posture and his arms crossed over his chest, almost defiantly so. “Honestly, if you don’t want to be here, I don’t understand why you keep coming to these things.”

“Well, I don’t understand why I had to invite your dumb ass here either. I guess the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” 

“Yeah, I thought Namjoon or Yoongi would be more fitting for your taste of guest,” he says, outright taunting you now, as if to remind you of your failed love rendezvous with your now close friends. 

“Well yeah, but they both denied, so I had to invite you.” 

“Ah,” he gives a slight sigh and you dismiss the sadness you register in his voice as something deserved for annoying you, “that does make more sense. Lucky me, I guess.”

“Awkies,” Jungkook announces as if it’s something that needs to be announced. Hoseok simply shrugs, and though you’re definitely not looking forward to sleeping out in the woods, he seems excited to try something new. 

There’s something hilarious about seeing a bunch of upper-class kids trying to set up tents and start a fire. You’ve converted to the cavemen with Hoseok, seemingly unaware that engaging in a one-sided debate with a bundle of sticks won’t make them randomly engulf in flames while Hoseok is trying out a trick he saw in the movies.

Honestly, it’s enough of a miracle that you actually went out in the woods and helped without tripping your silly ass and getting lost among the catacombs. Granted, Hoseok would’ve been compassionate enough to look for you had you gotten lost, but you probably wouldn’t get over the trauma of being covered in mud. 

Taehyung notices you both struggling. Part of him wants to make amends with you and a bigger part of him wants to leave Jimin to scramble on his own. Not that he’s sadistic or anything, he just likes seeing others suffer sometimes for entertainment purposes. 

Anyways. 

He approaches casually, like the kind of casual where you can tell that the person has an ulterior motive that they don’t want to reveal. Hoseok appears happy to see him, like he’s a savior on a white horse, while you don’t acknowledge him that much except for a sharp question regarding what he wants. 

He greets the older boy with one of these grins you won’t admit you enjoy looking at before roaming through the pockets of his jacket. Now that you’ve noticed him wearing one, you come to the sudden realization that it is getting quite breezy. 

Taehyung has the habit of scrunching his nose when he’s looking for something and then unconsciously smile broadly after succeeding in finding it. You don’t like that you’re aware of that and you especially don’t like that you can pinpoint the repetitive action.

It appears that Taehyung was looking for a lighter, of all things. 

“I thought you quit smoking?” You simply give him an incredulous look. 

He doesn’t grace you with an answer. Though he doesn’t reek of the putrid smell, you’re still hoping that the answer to that question is yes. Instead of soothing your curiosity, however, he uses the lighter to ignite a spark in the firewood and you guess that it’ll have to do.

“Well, that was quite pathetic,” you comment unhelpfully. 

“Better than Hobi’s attempts and uh, whatever the fuck you were doing.” 

Hoseok is enthusiastic to announce that the bonfire’s ready. You watch the clumsily prepped three tents in disinterest, not bothering to defend your attempt at enchantment to him. “Hoseokie, you’re gonna share a tent with me right?” 

“Hoseokie,” Jin repeats, but in good fun, “I thought you were gonna crash with me tonight?”

You roll your eyes before redirecting your gaze towards Jimin and Jungkook. By the guilty smile Jungkook gives you, you can tell he doesn’t plan on letting Jimin out of his clown clutches. You narrow your expression and jut your lip out disapprovingly. 

“Well, Mr. Handsome,” Jin interrupts whatever you have to say with a thank you, “since you and Kook have been jointed by the assholes since we got here, I don’t see what the problem is.” 

“I think you’re just saying that because you don’t wanna sleep with Tae,” Hoseok comments obliviously. 

“What he said. Also, these crackwhores are planning something, and I’m going to find out what.”

“Well, you’re in tough luck because Hoseok promised,” Jin argues, emphasizing the word promise. He has a shit-eating grin on his face and he’s not even denying your accusation. 

Taehyung coughs once. The second time is overkill and sounds even faker than the first one. “Sorry, but if [Y/n] isn’t comfortable sharing the tent with me, it doesn’t really matter what Hoseok promised.” 

You gape at him. This is probably the first intelligent thing that you’ve heard come out of his mouth. You almost reconsider your treatment of him after that, but then you remember that a guy being half-decent isn’t something you’re supposed to celebrate. You suppose that even he looks like a saint compared to some of your exes.

Everyone notices the conflict on your face but doesn’t say anything about it. Jin admits that Taehyung’s right with a wail yet the tension doesn’t dissolve, somehow. You excuse yourself by declaring that you’re going to get the blankets out of the SUV. 

“Damn, that bad huh?” Jungkook laughs. It’s the hyena laugh that kind of doesn’t suit his face but also the one he does when he’s having fun for no good reason. 

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“I heard in the girls’ bathroom once that this girl went on a diet where she only eats bananas for three months. Like, five a day,” you explain while you munch on your banana in front of the bonfire. Needless to say, you’ve come out to be severely underprepared in terms of food on your first day. 

“That sounds like a strategy to make yourself unhinged,” Hoseok retorts. He believes your story but he’s skeptical about that banana business. “I’d never do that.” 

“Me neither. Diets are stupid, anyway, can’t a bitch eat?” 

Jungkook reaches over and high-fives you, looking at you like you’ve just invented air or some shit. “Amen to that sister.” 

“By the way, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Jimin is the one to speak up this time. 

“I have quite the plan for you, alright,” Jin laughs. His next statement, however, is the embodiment of his immature nature. “But that banana talk had me all distracted.”

Everyone collectively groans. You’re not really sure if what he said would classify as a dad joke at this point; you’re now entering single-and-desperate-dad joke territory. Can’t say that you’d enjoy it coming from someone else, but Jin is Jin.

“Anyways,” he dismisses his previous remark with an easy-going smile and a wave of his hand in thin air, “we’re going to a breakfast place first thing in the morning. By foot.” 

His grin is mischievous. You think this is the worst idea he’s had yet and no one else present seems attracted by the prospect of it either, so you vocally oppose him with a raised brow. “Don’t you realize how likely it is we’ll get lost?” 

“Yeah, I also don’t wanna walk too much.” Hoseok’s always one to back you up.

“Technology doesn’t lie, [Y/n].”

“If technology doesn’t lie how come I had a D on my maths test in junior year when I used Photomath?” 

Hoseok agrees, remembering the incident. That day was truly one of sorrow. 

“Technology only lies if you’re gullible enough,” Jin now changes the narrative. 

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You sneak out of your and Hoseok’s tent with a brief explanation thrown over your shoulder. Something about getting your make-up wipes from the trunk. Hoseok mutters inspiring words of advice—be careful, it’s dark and who knows what animal puke is on the ground—and you stumble your way to the SUV. 

Shoving the keys in the hole proves to be a difficult task, however. You aimlessly jut it in, hoping to hit the correct place by some sort of miracle. This is the moment that you realize that your eyes aren’t so good at adapting to the darkness. 

“Hey, what’re you doing?”

You jump up out of pure reflex. Startled, you whip around with a bemused look on your face. You’re gonna get wrinkles, damn it. 

“Woah, girl jumps in heels,” Taehyung comments dryly. 

“Don’t sneak up on me, you idiot cokehead,” you retort. You’re not sure why you said that. He’s not a cokehead. 

“No, but seriously, what’re you doing?” 

“I’m trying to look for my make-up wipes.” 

Taehyung takes the keys from you. Without half as much fumbling as you’d done previously, he opens the trunk and you proceed with looking through your purse, only to come to the conclusion that you’ve forgotten your make-up lines somewhere. There’s now a new resolve, clear as day in your twisted mind—you have to find the supermarket you passed by on your way here and buy new ones.

“Did you find them?”

“No.” You scoff. An angry thaw and the trunk is now closed. “I’m going to buy some.” 

“Woah, calm down tiger. Can’t you just sleep with it?” 

“No! Do you know how bad that is for your skin?” 

“Well, we could find a river and you could wipe your face with the dirty water.” 

You give him a blank stare, barely suppressing a small giggle. “Do you understand how ridiculous you’re being?” 

“I’m being ridiculous?”

Silence.

“...You’re not planning to go off in the woods during the dawn of asscrack, right?” 

“The what? Yeah.”

Taehyung looks towards your tent only to see that the light is completely shut down. Hoseok must be asleep already. “I’ll go with you.” 

You roll your eyes. “Do whatever you want.” 

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“So, why do you hate your cousin so much?” Taehyung asks abruptly from behind you. 

Most of your walk has been a silent one, so far, except for an occasional grumble from you and an absentminded one-liner from him. There’s also the sound of sticks crumbling under your high-heels that’s slightly irritating. 

“Because she’s unfunny,” you reply seriously.

“You have issues.” This is probably the least significant reason someone has ever hated somebody else for, in the entire history of hatred. Strangely enough, however, Taehyung can’t help finding it endearing how outlandish you can be.

“I’m sorry, I must have Alzheimer’s because I don’t remember asking,” you snap with a roll of your eyes. 

“You know, I have a dog,” he begins dramatically. “And sometimes he shits on the carpet and one time he puked on me, but I still love him very much. He’s gang, you feel?” 

“I don’t see how that helps with my family situation.”

“I never said it’s supposed to help, I just wanted to talk about myself.” He snickers. You’re getting the most violent of urges. 

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Leering over the thin metal fence that looms over an otherwise mundane hill gives you an idea. Down the admittedly high hill, the supermarket is obnoxiously lit up. However, the hideous sight doesn’t deter you—this is what your nirvana looks like in the given moment.

With one bold move, you lift your leg up the fence and Taehyung considers you, your motives and perhaps even your life until now. “What are you doing?” 

“It’ll be faster if I go down the hill.” 

“You’re gonna break your ankles in these shoes,” he rebuts, his voice a tilted monotone. “Also, I can see your underwear like this.” 

“Perveeeeert.” This is your final taunt before you do make it over the short fence and onto the other side. Examining the hill from up close—but not before you roll your miniskirt down—you come to two conclusions. The first one is that it’s quite steep and the second one comes when you’re one step down, that maybe, just maybe, you’re a bit deranged.

With your back turned to him, you don’t get to see Taehyung experiencing the five stages of grief. There’s obvious conflict on his face and to be precise, his current dilemma is between worry for you and a lack of power to stop you. Perhaps had you turned around, you’d find the sight entertaining.

His movements are leisurely once he does get in motion. Taehyung’s plan is to simply help you up now that he noticed that you’re hesitating to go further than you’ve already gone. 

His voice cutting through the night’s silence startles you. “Hey, you really shouldn’t do this.” 

You stumble. 

As tragic as that is, there’s something else to placate you; you’ve never seen Taehyung move so fast. Not even during the blip test in high school. The rest of his actions are less endearing—he throws you over his shoulder carelessly, stumbles onto the sidewalk and drops you like it’s hot. And then your legs are a bit wobbly, but you pretend they aren’t. 

The unnerving silence remains all the way to the supermarket, then back to the campsite and even when Taehyung’s awkwardly using his phone as a flashlight in your face while you remove your make-up. There’s nothing to say, except maybe if he were to ask you a question that’s not to your liking.

(He’s not that bad.)

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Jin is in a hurry, but you’re not sure what for. It’s been practically less than a day since you started this road trip, but it feels longer. You’re conflicted about how to feel regarding that, but even so, Jimin and Hoseok’s enthusiasm is hard to ignore. 

The feline smile on your face drops the moment Jungkook basically drags you out of your tent, bare-faced and severely underdressed. Well, to be honest, you blend in with them just fine, but in your head, you’re severely underdressed. Something more boujee is usually your style, but you realize your predicament won’t magically change the longer you’re walking in what feels like the middle of nowhere. 

Tusla is gross, yes, but maybe Oklahoma is just gross in general. 

When you’re unhappy, you don’t get shy about it—honesty is the best policy, after all. So you’re going on one of those annoying tangents you like to go on like it’s second nature to you. Maybe it is. 

Taehyung drones out whatever it is you’re saying the moment you start talking about a pimple in your nostril that has hair growing out of it. He’s not particularly grossed out by this revelation, rather, he doesn’t like listening to you go on and on about everything you don’t like about yourself. 

“And I couldn’t put on that necklace you got me for my birthday,” you complain before linking your arms with Hoseok’s and feigning a sniff.

“That is pretty horrible,” he hums in agreement. “I think I have a rash on my thigh.” 

“See, if Jungkook wasn’t being horrible I could probably get some kinda product to smear on it.”

Taehyung feigns a loud yawn. Tagging along with you and Hoseok isn’t as tiring as he’d like to make it out to be. 

“What’re you yawning so blatantly for? I hate being interrupted.” You roll your eyes cockily. 

“Sorry, I almost fell asleep during this uninteresting speech of yours.”

You fume again and Hoseok reassures you with something along the lines of don’t worry, [Y/n], it’s very interesting. Then, silence follows. It always seems to end up like this between the two of you. 

“Well, if it helps,” Taehyung starts, tone breezy, “you’re still beautiful.” 

You feel your face heat up. Sure, boys have given you plenty of compliments before—you’re no stranger to it—hot, sexy and maybe pretty on a good day. But beautiful? Especially without any make-up on? This is definitely something new. 

Hoseok smiles. “Yeah, he’s right.” 

You don’t want to admit just how flattered you really are. “Of course I am.”

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You take the first thing you find to your liking once you reach the breakfast place. Actually, it’s more brunch than it is breakfast, but all that walking is making you starve so you don’t feel particularly inclined to be hung up on semantics. 

“It’s on me.” Jungkook sweeps in smoothly, giving you a flashy smile. 

“Fuck off. I’m still mad at you.”

“You might be, but not for long,” he argues with an obnoxious grin on his face. “They call it… The Kook Effect.” 

You shake your head. “I’m pretty sure you just made that up.”

“Yeah? Remember when you won a bet against Jimin and he had to call you Supreme Majesty in freshman year? And then you pretended that he did it out of his own volition.” 

“Oh, I’m not taking this from you and your dead trim.”

“My trim is fine, thanks.”

“Dead trim!” you repeat, almost frantic. You’re so caught up with Jungkook’s dead trim that you don’t notice that Taehyung is giving you a cheesy smile as he buys you your food. He looks like the greasiest gentleman alive when he hands it to you. 

“And what’s that about?”

“In junior year, at summer camp, they took away our phones because someone recorded the instructor jerking off. And then like, blackmailed him.” 

You quirk an eyebrow up at this, unsure what he’s hinting at. “Right.”

“Right. And then they took all of our phones for a month and you started crying about how your life is a living nightmare.” 

“Right…” you trail off, suddenly embarrassed as if that hadn’t happened a whole two years ago. But like, it totally was a big deal! “The no phone rule was the worst. Even worse than the public bathroom rule.”

“I did it. I’m making it up to you,” he explains. 

You feel your mouth twitch into a small smile, one that he hasn’t quite seen on you before. “I forgive you this once, then.” 

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“We’re going to a hotel after sightseeing,” Jin explains. It’s like he’s got everything figured out all by himself and perhaps with the help of Jungkook’s annoying personality. “I arranged the rooms and everything while you were eating.” 

“Quite epic,” Jimin comments absentmindedly. “Wait, rooms? Like, you mean who’s rooming with who?” 

“Yeah, I finished the registration.” He stares directly at you and then Taehyung. “You could switch if you wanted to, it doesn’t really matter.”

You give him a light glare, already having a brief idea of what he’s done, but don’t comment any further. With a sense of deja vu, you speak up again. “What about the motel?” 

“I wasn’t sure if we’re going to be passing by one today, so I thought hey! Better safe than sorry.” 

Everyone nods in half-agreement until Jin speaks up again. “Plus, you guys reek. You should shower. Couldn’t be me.”

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Predictably, Jin did set you and Taehyung up. You can’t tell what kind of game he and Jungkook are playing, however, the poor boy isn’t half as insufferable in your eyes ever since this road trip began, so maybe you should thank them. Still, you don’t trust them—their minds are as twisted as yours.

As the two of you are dragging your luggage towards your shared room, Taehyung reminds you that you’re free to tell him if you don’t want to sleep with him. “I could go to Jungkook’s room or something.”

You find the idea of being alone more unfavorable than you thought you would. Perhaps your high-school, drastically more histrionic, self would’ve found anything more pleasant than sharing a room with Taehyung. You’re a (slightly) changed person now, though. Or at least you’d like to believe you are.

“Let’s put it like this. I hate a lot of things.”

“You don’t need to tell me that, I already know,” he interrupts with a crude giggle. 

“But you’re not one of them,” you admit. 

There’s also the fact that the two of you are blatantly ignoring that you could switch with Jin and sleep with Hoseok instead.

No more words are spoken between the two of you that day. New Mexico isn’t half as bad as Oklahoma was. 

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You wake up before Taehyung does, punctually so. Rolling out of bed, you partly don’t care whether you wake him but at the same time, you try to avoid making too much noise before slipping into the bathroom. Though you’re definitely one to value your beauty sleep, yesterday’s incident left you paranoid over whether Jungkook or Jin would catch you unprepared. 

You go through your routine calmly and by the time Taehyung goes in the bathroom to take a piss, you’re ready to start doing your make-up. You stare at the foundation in your hand but before you can apply it, you hesitate. 

Do I need make-up to be desirable?

Of course, you’re aware that not all women who use make-up are insecure, or that it’s always necessarily toxic for your self-esteem. And you thought that was the case with you as well, but your doubts suggest otherwise. Swiftly, you put all of your stuff away, stick with your trusty lipstick and nothing else. 

“Morning,” he says, groggy still. 

“Morning.” You look over to him from the corner of your eye and he looks kind of dazed. “Jin says we’re staying here until tomorrow morning.” 

“Cool. Hotel’s nice. The scenery too.” 

“I guess.” 

There’s something cripplingly awkward when the two of you aren’t hurling insults at each other, you realize. 

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You’re off somewhere with Hoseok and Jin when Taehyung is hanging out with Jimin and Jungkook. Turns out their room has a nice balcony, and with the others out of the picture, there’s some kind of buzzed chatter about incoherent topics swirling around. 

Jungkook suddenly decides that it’s a good idea to start talking about his sexcapades. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe his mind’s slipping. Jimin kind of wants to admit how much he doesn’t care what his friend does outside of watching anime and playing video games, but there’s also a part of him that’s morbidly intrigued by Jungkook’s words. Like a dark spell or something. 

“I wanted to hit it off with [Y/n] in high school,” he admits bluntly.

The other two stare at him.

“Oh really? What made you change your mind?” Jimin asks, now more awake than ever. 

“Dunno. Like, she’s more like, the bitchy rival in rom-coms, not the protagonist. I liked her, but I didn’t think I could handle her,” he admits.

“Once we were clubbing and this guy was messing with me and I complained to her about it,” Jimin begins, leaning into his chair with a fond smile on his face, “and she was all like, I’ll show him. And I was like, what? And she was like, I’ll show him who he’s dealing with. And then I was like, okay, maybe don’t show him that much.” 

The three of them chuckle. Taehyung talks for the first time in a while. “Nah, I agree.”

“You dig it though, right?” 

Jimin gives him a knowing look right after Jungkook shoots his question with a drunken smile. He guesses that since Hoseok isn’t here, he can finally admit it. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. But I can’t get things right with her.” 

“What do you mean?”

“It’s like, we’re either fighting or it’s really awkward.” 

“You’re on your own.” Jimin dismisses him with a wave of his hand. “I don’t think she hates you that much. It’s always Taehyung this, Taehyung that.” 

“True,” Jungkook agrees. “Like yes, maybe she’s complaining about you half the time and I know she loves gossiping but I’ve never heard her talk about someone else that much. Except maybe Yoongi. What I’m sayin’ is, you should give it a shot.”

“Why do you guys even fight so much?” Jimin laughs. “Whenever it happens, I like, forget what even happened to lead up to that.” 

“Well, you know me. I’m always too honest for my own good and when I hit her with some snark she starts getting all defensive. I just...” He sounds defeated by the time he’s finished with his explanation. Taehyung’s shoulders visibly slump and his frame slides down the uncomfortable chair. “I just want to get along with her.” 

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The fourth day is the first time you actually aren’t sure where you are. Save for supposedly being close to Nevada by now, you tuned out the rest of Jin’s explanation despite your previous attempts at keeping up with your location. 

Regardless, what’s important is living in the present. And the present for you right now is walking down a nameless street, in a mess of other tourists, with your pants uncomfortably sticking to your ass with sweat. In short, you feel gross. 

Taehyung doesn’t seem to be having the same problem, while you can’t even fake being unfazed. You envy him just the tiniest bit. 

A trashy souvenir shop seems to catch Taehyung’s attention. In the scorching heat and sand-yellow scenery of this town, however, even that seems more appealing. So when he urges you to go with him, you find yourself reluctantly agreeing. 

When you step in, the air conditioning of the otherwise homey shop welcomes you like taking a breather during an overcrowded party. You let an unconscious smile take over your face when you greet the cashier. She’s cute and her adorableness factor only spikes up when she practically beams at the sight of customers. 

“Hi! Please, feel free to look around.” 

“We will,” Taehyung answers offhandedly. Her gaze lingers on him. 

Most of the things don’t interest you. Actually, they’re hideous if you had to be completely honest. He doesn’t seem that enamored by them either, but you can tell he finds more redeeming qualities about them than you do. 

Your eyes almost bulge out of your face when you see the most live-laugh-love-esque decoration to exist. Like something your mom would laugh-react to on Facebook. 

The offender is no more than three inches tall and wide, a ceramic plate with a cartoony burger portrayed on it. It’s holding a flag that says two simple words: “Nice Buns!” 

You can’t tell if it’s the radioactivity of Jungkook’s cooking from earlier or if this thing is what’s making you nauseous. However, food-poisoning or not, you’re quite disgusted by what you’ve just seen. “Oh my god, the caucasity.” 

“Aw, you don’t like it?” Taehyung says with a mocking pout. “I think it’s cute.” 

“What’s wrong with you? It’s corny.”

“No, it isn’t. It might’ve been if it was a corn-dog, though.” 

You heaved an over-dramatic sigh. “You’re saying words that have no positive impact on my life.”

“I think I’ll buy it,” he declares, before checking the price and realizing he hasn’t brought enough money with himself. 

You shake your head. “I’m not gonna be an accomplice to… that.” 

“Well, of course not. This is your Valentine’s present.”

“Go to hell. As if I’d be your Valentine in the first place,” you reply sardonically before pushing him out of the way.  

Taehyung realizes something at that moment. Even outside your evident disinterest in him and his affairs, the two of you are completely incompatible. You, too quick to judge and be offended and him, too quickly to say the first thing on his mind, obviously don’t mesh smoothly. 

Neither of the boyfriends you’ve had that he’s spoken to is anything like him, either. If Namjoon and Yoongi have one thing in common, it’s that they’re both calm, collected and have a good head screwed securely on top of their shoulders. He’s not like that.

Even so, that revelation only makes the concept of being with you more alluring. 

Kim Taehyung is an idiot. But more importantly, with one glance towards the admittedly good-looking cashier making googly eyes at him, Kim Taehyung makes a decision.

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While you’re taking a shit in a nearby cafeteria, you receive a text from Taehyung. This is shocking by itself since despite the two of you having each others’ numbers, you never really text. 

[15:30] pain in the neck: im going on a date w/ the cashier

[15:30] pain in the neck: feel free to leave

[15:45] Princess Complex: i’m just gonna hang with jungkook thank god

Why is your stomach sinking?

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Once you meet up with Jungkook, you explain the situation briefly. He quickly looks you over, confusion evident on his face. “What? On a date?”

“Yeah, he just kinda left me in the toilet,” you confirm with a shrug. “Anyways, where do you wanna go?” 

It’s not like Jungkook is an oblivious idiot with the emotional capacity of your aunt’s mutated sixth toe, even if he may appear to be. But you never thought he’d call you out the moment your overly confident facade starts slipping. His gaze softens. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?” 

He isn’t examining you when he asks. No, he appears to be looking off, somewhere behind you. However, you remain ignorant to that fact. 

“Yes! Why would I care? I’d rather drink toilet water for ten years straight than spend any more time with that moron,” you snap, too worked up for someone who supposedly doesn’t care. 

“Is that how you really feel about Taehyung?”

“Yes! Yes, oh my god, let it go.”

Jungkook makes one more helpless expression, shrugs lightly, and you fail to realize that neither of those gestures is directed at you. “Let’s go to the arcade.”

“I’m not really into video games,” you lie as you run your hand through your hair, “but fine.”

“Hell yeah.”

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When Taehyung goes back to your room in the trashy motel, notably late during the night for a mere first date, the atmosphere is tense. There’s a crease in your brows when you unlock the door and obvious bite marks over your bare lips. He stumbles ahead to enter, but you continue blocking his path with your arms frigidly crossed over your chest.

“You’re late.” 

“And what’s it to you?” He’s never spoken to you so harshly. There are moments where his words bite, but never does he say them with an expression and tone that are so frosty.

“Nothing in particular.” You move out of his way, finally, and he enters. You briefly wonder if he’s had alcohol before you start talking again. “I’ve been stuck in this room for like, an hour because the keys are in me. Waiting for you...”

“Poor you.”

“Excuse me?”

“I heard what you said about me to Jungkook. You know, I’m starting to understand why you scared away all your exes.”

Warth washes over you in waves for a millisecond before it disperses into nothingness, a cold numbness that makes your back shiver. Your gaze on him is empty yet livid at the same time and he cowers under it. You’re not sure if the guilt on his face is a flicker of your imagination or if it’s genuine, but you hope it’s the latter. 

It’s never his words that are a big deal to you. It’s the way he speaks every syllable, so earnestly with truth laced in every letter, that makes you go off the hook. Because deep down, you’re aware that he doesn’t mean to be malicious or to offend, it’s merely him telling his truth.

You grab a few things impulsively with a mundane declaration, before storming off god knows where. “I’m not sleeping here tonight.”

When the door clicks behind your frame, Taehyung backs down and sprawls out across the bed. Truthfully, he regretted his words before he even opened his mouth. But he was so angry, be it with you or with himself.

It just seemed so unfair that you could blow him away time after time and yet, on his date the only thing on his mind was you. The mediocre make-out session and him awkwardly leaving out of nowhere didn’t help, either. And then you had to be so perfect, waiting for him instead of locking his ass out like he thought you would.

It isn’t the girl’s fault she’s raised to be as sweet as sugar while you’re more like citrus. He’s always had a knack for lemons, anyway.

The fact that you spent the rest of the day with Jungkook only aggravates him further, the younger’s words repeating in his head. I tried to hit it off with [Y/n] in high school, or whatever it was that he said exactly. All of this is his own fault, anyway—if he hadn’t been so temperamental, you would’ve stayed with him for the rest of the day.

Taehyung stares at the cheap lights hanging on the ceiling until his eyes hurt that night.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Half-way through your trek to Hoseok’s room, you crumble. A sob escapes your throat and then another one. After these two instances, your tears don’t cease. 

At first, Jimin is excited to see you at their door but his smile slips the moment he realizes what a bad state you’re in. You’re practically making whale noises while desperately searching for Hoseok. 

“I’ll give you two a moment.” He gives you one final look-over and leaves with a not-so-threatening threat. “Or maybe thirty. You better be smiling and singing Toxic by the time I’m back, [Y/n].”

Hoseok rushes to hug you. “God, girl, what’s wrong?”

“I like Taehyung.” 

“Is that it? You’re a strong girl, y’know, I never pictured you crying over some pretty boy.” 

“No. I’m crying because I’ve liked him all this fucking time and I tried to run away from him because I’m scared. And he said the most horrible thing to me,” you explain as you bury yourself deeper into his embrace. “That’s why I’m crying.”

“I hope he isn’t allergic to hands, because he’s about to catch them. Actually, I hope he is allergic.” Hoseok isn’t one to ask about details. He lets you get it out of your system, makes a few promises (most often of violence) and then allows you to elaborate if you wish to do so.

You laugh, but it turns into choking considering how much snot you have running down your face by now. “He said that he understands why my exes run away from me. I mean, I— I said something rude about him first, but Jungkook was backing me into a corner and I didn’t know he would even find out about it, I just—”

“Forget about him, forget about Jungkook, everyone. Tonight is for Britney,” Hoseok commands more than he asks you.

You smile sadly at him before uselessly wiping your tears away and giggling like you’re on the brink of losing your mind. Perhaps you are.

“My 45-carat booger. Hey, let’s make Jimin do the chicken dance,” Hoseok starts off like he’s coddling you in his strange way of doing so, but then quickly turns diabolical. He throws some tissues at you and you accept them. If there’s one thing you’re truly grateful for, it’d be your best friend.

You nod, suddenly more excited than you should be. Hoseok’s right—you don’t need some pretty boy when queen Britney is watching over you.

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The next day, you’re wearing a full-face of make-up, and Taehyung notices it. Hoseok’s driving and you’re in the passenger seat, talking about some nonsense as usually do. The atmosphere is light, with Jimin and Jungkook occasionally joining in your conversation and Jin sleeping with his forehead pressed against the window.

Truth to be told, Taehyung feels like a zombie right now. Pretending that your scuffle with him meant nothing to you only convinces him further how little you care about anything that has to do with him.

“I think we’ll be in Las Vegas soon,” Hoseok announces cheerily.

On one hand, you’re happy to finally be seeing the end of this road trip. Though you’ve technically just been relaxing, you wanted to be done with your cousin’s dumb wedding and go back to spending an average amount of time with your friends. You want to forget how flippant things are between you and Taehyung, your quote-unquote friendship dictated by mood swings rather than actual feelings.

“Fuck yeah! I wanna get drunk in Vegas,” you say with a smirk. “It’s on my bucket list.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah.”

“You want to get drunk everywhere,” Jungkook corrects with a laugh. You can’t help agreeing with him. “And Jin will probably stay in the hotel and play Candy Crush or something.”

“Ew, ew, ew, a fucking millenial,” you exclaim in mock disgust.

“Jin can be a beast if he wants to. Remember when he twerked in front of the whole school on Taehyung’s birthday party?”

“Shit was wild, man.”

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No one except you, Hoseok and Taehyung himself is aware of what transpired yesterday. So Jungkook and Jin are still stubbornly placing the two of you together, yet you’re too powerless to fight it.

The hotel is a fancy one, courtesy of your annoying cousin. She’s been texting you and you sent a short message back to inform her you’ve arrived, but you haven't bothered to deal with her provocations any further. 

After dumping his luggage near his bed, Taehyung was straight out of the room and you started getting ready. And that was that. 

You feel more like yourself when you find the wine hidden in the fridge, a free present from the hotel. Or maybe your cousin’s way of making peace. Ha, as if that’d happen. 

When Taehyung comes back to get dressed, you’re already tipsy and acting like a fool.

“Drinking already?” There are many things that Taehyung wants to say to you. An apology he’s too sober to say and a confession you’re too drunk to hear, to begin with. 

“It’s pre-game,” you explain dizzily. “You know. I never told you why I hate my cousin so much. She used to bully me and she stole my first boyfriend from me. And we never got past it.”

With your trademark look, high-heels, acrylics, a fancy yet revealing dress along with whatever else you consider fashionable at the moment, Taehyung feels familiarity staring at your lopsided smirk. Though he’s gotten glimpses of other sides of you during these past few days, like how you like cuddling during the night, this is the epitome of who you are.

“Yeah,” he replies agreeably, though you’re not sure what for.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but Hoseok is waiting for me. So, this is bye-bye.” 

“See you there.”

“Probably not.” You snicker. Taehyung can tell that you’re still upset with him.

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You’re so wasted that the things happening around you aren’t really making sense anymore. While you and Hoseok were drinking together for a while, at one point Jungkook whisked him away, then there’s a blank in your memory and now you’re here. Alone. And you’ve lost count of how many drinks you’ve had. 

A man, that’s definitely a few years older than you, finally approaches you after observing you from afar. He says some sort of sleazy line—you’re not sure what it is, you’re not really listening—and offers you a drink. 

You consider him. He’s not your type at all and that pornstache isn’t helping his case but, when you look at Taehyung and see him talking and having fun while you’re being an alcoholic by your lonesome and moping about him, you quickly accept his offer. Pornstache or not. 

“Pick anything you’d like, kitten,” he purrs, in an attempt at being seductive. 

“Well first off I’m not a furry so don’t call me that,” you snap with a self-assured grin. And then you start listing off the most expensive drinks on the menu. 

This man is so enamored by you that he buys you all of them. You’re three steps closer to alcohol poisoning when you clumsily stumble onto the dance floor along with him, running your hand over his jaw in what you believe to be a sensual manner. He seems to dig it, but from an outsider’s perspective the two of you look like junkies trying to get off. 

Your experience in the club is romanticized. The dim lights are reminiscent to those few times you’ve gone to a rave and it reeks of alcohol, overpriced perfumes and sweat. You and your nameless pathetic fan mingle with the grinding crowd and begin imitating them. 

As the poet Lady Gaga once said, “redlight pornographic dance fight”. 

The act itself is indifferent to you. From across the room, Taehyung locks eyes with you and you’re not really sure why but you feel this sudden need to provoke him, even when you know he most likely wouldn’t care. You sloppily kiss your suitor’s cheek while looking at him intensely from across the room. A red trail from your wet lips makes its way down his face.

For the sake of pettiness, you might’ve gone further—I mean, you were already playing some weird game of tug-and-war but with clothes—but you don’t want to know the feeling of this guy’s lips against yours. He finds the mostly innocent action as an invitation, though, and abruptly halts your staring contest with Taehyung by forcing you into a greedy kiss.

Pushing him away, you give him a pointed stare and rejection is clear on his face. “Excuse me…” 

He’s a terrible kisser. 

Pushing through everyone that’s in your way, you make your escape through the first door you find. In your intoxicated parade, you fail to make sense of the words ‘CLOSED’ that are so blatantly taped over the entrance. So, you find yourself in front of a swimming pool. 

The cold breeze outside prickles at your skin unpleasantly, and a quick look around tells you that there’s no one around to put this in their cringe compilation. Apparently more disgusted than you’d initially thought, you puke your guts out in front of the pool. Now light-headed and somehow empty, you stare at your vomit and take a deep breath. 

“Hey, why’d you run away?” Your suitor from earlier appears to have followed you outside. You stare at your feet—doesn’t he understand that you wanted to get away from him?

“You’re a bad kisser,” you say bluntly after getting over your little trance. 

“Give me a chance to change your mind then,” he offers smugly, taking menacing steps towards you. You move away instinctively before you’re quickly backed into a wall, with his two hands trapping you in between. 

Your eyes widen with fear and you sink into yourself. If you had anything else to puke out, you’re sure you would’ve done so at this point. “I have sharp nails and I’m not afraid to use them.”

“Oh, she bites-”

The events that play out next happen so slowly, you’re not sure why you’re surprised. Taehyung appears, and you do see him in your peripheral vision, stares for a bit before knocking the guy out with a punch to his temple. He falls unconscious on the ground.

“Oh god, did I kill him?” he asks, a vacant look on his face. He imagined his first kill to be more thrilling, but on second thought, he’s not sure why he was thinking about that without being under the influence of substances in the first place. 

“I’d be happy if he’s dead, if that helps,” you comment dryly. 

“Do we dump the body in the pool or what?”

The two of you are drunk enough to consider it. Your mind is blank for a bit, before you finally speak up. “I’m trying to think of what I saw on How To Get Away With Murder, but it’s not coming to me. But like, on Blacklisted, there was this guy who like, made the corpses turn to gas or something!”

“You watch too much TV. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s called The Blacklist.”

“Whatever. Do you know how to do that?”

“No.”

“Hey, what’s going on here?” A new voice cuts in.

“You better come up with something convincing or we’ll have to kill him too,” you urge.

“Did you say something?”

“No.”

“Umm, awkward believe it yeah,” Taehyung begins, a strong start. “This guy slipped on her puke and hit his head. And he has a concussion now.”

“Man, that sucks,” the guy says. You’re relieved that he’s as trashed as he is, otherwise the situation would’ve went really badly, considering how Taehyung straight-up lied to his face. “I’ll go call someone over ‘ere.”

Once he’s out of sight, the two of you stare at each other and decide to flee the country. But then change the plan with the more economically-efficient idea to simply leave the club. 

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“Why were you with that guy anyway?” Taehyung asks. Frankly put, neither of you know where you’re going, but you’re boldly leading him through the artificially-lit streets of Las Vegas as if you’re born there. Where you end up is a concern your sober selves of tomorrow should worry about.

“I wanted to make you jealous,” you reply, bold, like everything you do when you’re drunk is. 

“...I don’t get it.”

“You pissed me off so much yesterday. And you made me jealous when you went out with that cashier. But also, you killed a guy for me, so I guess I’m not mad at you anymore.” 

“Well aren’t you high-maintenance,” he retorts sarcastically, gaining what feels like a confidence spurt because of your sudden confession. “You don’t have anything to be jealous of, anyway. The only thing I had on my mind during that stupid fucking date was you.”

You freeze up. You thought that your own attitude was what made any possibility of him returning your feelings seem laughable. Even if it’s drunk blabber, alcohol is an honesty elixir, at least in your case. “Kiss me?” 

He doesn’t need to be told twice, attacking your lips so eagerly you’d consider it funny if you were in a right state of mind. Still, your reciprocation is just as hungry, so maybe you don’t have any room to laugh. He is indulging you, after all.

The wipeout that happened at the club happens again and you’re left to wonder how things escalated. From teeth clashing against each other in pure excitement, you’re left hovering over Taehyung’s form and straddling him unsteadily.

He reaches under your already high dress and the glimpse of your panties seems to excite him. “You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this,” he admits breezily. 

You smile, a teasing one, adjusting yourself better. “You don’t need to be so dramatic about it, it’s just underwear.” 

“Dramatic is how many times I’ve jerked off after we went to the supermarket and you flashed me.”

“Ewwww, we shared a bed like three times, freak,” you scold and he pouts when you distance yourself from him. 

“I was just trying to be funny!”

“Not funny. Didn’t laugh. It’s better when you don’t talk,” you instruct before leaning down again to kiss him. At least he’s having fun with groping whatever he can get his hands on. 

“You’re so annoying it turns me on. Always whining, it drives me nuts how much I really like you.”

You snicker. “Well, I sure am feelin’ the love here.”

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When you wake up, you register three things. Four, actually. First—your left shoe is missing. Second— Taehyung is knocked out cold next to you. Third—you don’t know where you are, except for the fact that there’s a garbage bin next to you. Fourth—your head is throbbing with pain and you’re so sore you’re not sure if you can walk. Needless to say, you had the wild night in Vegas you wished for in your bucket list, and you only half-regret it.

You see your shoe discarded near you and nudge it with your toe for a bit before finally gathering enough power to sit up and put it on. Or so you think, because the moment you’re propped in a standing position, you vomit like you did yesterday. 

Speaking of yesterday, the only thing you remember is that you and Taehyung were convinced that he’s now a murderer on the run, confessing your feelings for each other in an anti-climactic manner and then having like seven rounds of public sex. 

With a recap of yesterday’s events, you digress and put your shoe on before reaching in your purse. Surprisingly, you haven’t been robbed. Fishing your phone out, you come to the conclusion that you’ve been knocked out cold for way too long. 

Hoseok has generously spammed you with seventy texts, but you don’t bother to read them, already assuming that the gist is something about where the fuck you and Taehyung are. Instead, you call him immediately. 

“Hi,” you greet casually.

“[Y/n]! Where the fuck are you and Tae? We were so worried. Jin almost declared you two missing. But on the positive side, Jungkook didn’t care because he got food poisoning yesterday at the club.”

“I don’t know where we are, but he’s with me.”

“What do you mean?!”

“I’ll send you my location. I don’t have money for Uber, love you, kisses and hickeys,” you say in one breathe before hanging up quickly and doing what you said you’d do. 

At first, you thought this road trip was an opportunity for you to grow and mature. However, after yesterday’s shenanigans, you’re almost convinced your sociopathic tendencies are now higher by 5%. 

You start shaking Taehyung until he wakes up and swats your arms away. Now upon closer inspection, while you’re aware that you look bad right now, he’s not looking too hot either. The lipstick marks you had left on his face make it look like you’ve either slobbered all over him or that he’s a vampire, you’re not sure. And you’ve bitten him so much somebody could think he got attacked by a racoon judging solely on those bruises.

You quickly explain the situation to him as you’re fixing up your bra and top. Considering the fact that you were bordering on nip-slip territory, that was your priority. Smoothing your dress is easy enough, but your pantyhose is mysteriously ripped in some incriminating places.

He reaches out, rips out the fake eyelash that was pathetically hanging off the corner of your eye and throws it away. You take care of the other one, wipe off your ruined make-up and then wipe off the lipstick on his face. 

Your head hurts so much that you don’t know what to say to break the silence. Though you also don’t doubt that he’s in the position, and so, for the first time it doesn’t feel awkward between the two of you. 

“Hey, [Y/n], are we like… dating now?”

“I think so? You can be my date to the wedding if you want.” 

A dopey smile takes over his face. You realize you’ve made someone this happy before with merely being yourself. It fills you with a kind of warmth you’ve never felt before.

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“Your cousin won’t stop calling you,” Taehyung emphasizes as you’re pointedly ignoring your ringtone while you get ready. Considering the atrocious state both of you came back in, the process taking longer than usual shouldn’t be a surprise. Especially since you had to take turns for the shower.

Also the part where the two of you got into a fight over who should go in first—your thesis being arguably stronger once you mentioned the mud ingrained in the left sole of your feet—only slowed you down further.

“I know right? Can’t this pregnant moron get a life.”

“No, I think she’s calling you because we’re late to the wedding,” he elaborates. “You should pick up.”

“But I hate her!”

“You can roast her at the wedding and I’ll hype you up if you do what I ask.”

“Oh my god, promise?” 

“Promise.”

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

“Look who finally showed up,” your cousin greets you with a tight smile. You can only return the sentiment as Taehyung dumbly trails behind you. 

Well, as much as you don’t like your cousin, the wedding is certainly nice. With a light atmosphere and a fancy ceremony, he can’t pretend he hates it—that much is certain. Though he can also tell that it’s a lot of money wasted on food that doesn’t look appetizing in the slightest the more he examines the buffet.

“I see you’re not wearing the dress I shipped to you. Is it too tight, perhaps?” She’s smiling fakely and sweetly as she waits for your answer to her provocation. Of course it’s too tight; what else could it be when she picked it two sizes smaller than what you usually wear. And she did it on purpose too.

Despite the rather mundane conversation happening, the tension is thick.

“I’m going to be quick. You look like a greasy manatee.” You give her your own uptight smile before strutting away, cueing Taehyung to follow after you.

“Pregnancy-shameeeeed,” he yells out as he offers her finger guns and speed-walks in your direction. 

Once he’s caught up with you, he speaks up again. “I know you could’ve been more brutal than that.”

“Oh please, I’m sophisticated, I’d never engage in some barbaric behavior.”

You both burst out laughing at your blatant lie. 

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“Do you think they’re dating now?” Jin asks, looking at the two of you as you dance and joke around. Though he imagines that you could only be having a deranged conversation, one that isn’t as sweet and lovey-dovey as it might look from an outsider’s perspective, it’s still quite disgusting how smitten Taehyung looks with you. 

“I don’t care,” Jungkook answers. Him saying he doesn’t care is a metaphor for how much he doesn’t care about anything after his food poisoning.

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Oh definitely. I saw them making out near a garbage dumpster when we were driving back to the hotel.”

Seokjin chokes.

[gg-astrology]

Have you done the Cancer sun—Taurus moon combo? I couldn’t find it, sorry for bothering :/

Hey there! 💕 Nah don’t worry! 💕 It’s because I haven’t done it yet that’s why! 💕

[Below Cut: Cancer Sun - Taurus Moon 🧚‍♂️]

embodies?? so much serenity?? 

Reading in ur bed/comfy spaces....music from ur window... 

V chill vibe?? So comfy???

Wise eyes and like....a lil awkward but endearingly so? Honest and wants to get to know u, understanding and wouldn’t fault u for stuttering/mucking up,,, if its an honest mistake from emotions, they take the time to take deep breath-- and understand u

there’s just something very calming about this placement, because their moodiness is reduced by Taurus to a kinda earthy, sensual manner

Sensual person, touches, tactile things-- comfort and security

Likes to stay home probably, bundled up in a blankie. Cuddling something/someone. Likes their own space/groups of friends-- habit and comfort, traditions and pleasure-seeking together (like a big dinner w/ friends or a potluck)

An Eater and probably a Person Who Wants to Bake/Cook for Others

Enjoys the sensation of food, the look, the concept, the whole experience

Wants to share their joys/happiness with food ...so they make it into a ‘tradition’ to so with friends/people they love/care about

Habit and tradition y know? A lil down time, a me-time, getting back on track with themselves is important to have a ‘routine’ for

Not picky, but also picky? Has Strong Thoughts and Opinions on what they want to eat, when and where (specific location-- not just ANY ramen but THIS ramen bc of the EXPERIENCE)

Mayhaps Hangry is a Valid Emotion after all

Would probably smoother you if you’re good friends, there’s just something so inherently nurturing about this placement

Wants to care, look after and skinship (through telepathy -- jus their eyes, want to smother u w/ their eyes/let them intensions through without so many words)

Impactful words --Hits hard with little phases-- quality over quantity after all

Even to inanimate objects.. there’s Love and Affection given to them too (books, dolls, whatever it is they cling onto/cherish) 

Can be kinda possessive over things/people...like u want this? it comes with a price (belonging to them) and letting them take care of u/it 

All jokes aside, Cancer/Taurus are such a sensual person-- they’s incredibly shrewd and intuitive to others, able to connect and sympathize-- understand them with a wisdom that’s very them (Taurus is kinda an old soul and Cancer are also very perceptive of others)

The kind of person who doesn’t say much, but will Know if you’re sad and will offer you their solidarity presence ( ‘im here for you’) and affection (physically) if you benefit from it.

‘one hug can have a thousand words behind it’ -- supportive and encouraging, cares for u deeply

If someone hurts the people they love, or did them dirty/wrong-- Cancer/Taurus are one of the first to take it personally and get super furious about it (personal offense) 

And no this anger doesn’t die down, even when they’ve calmed. They still hold grudges/sus of the others -- this person is marked for life (they keep tallies) 

They’re introspective in a way-- but Taurus doesn’t like to think about their own downfalls/bad habits unless they can do something about it 

Keeps to the material world, but as a very sensitive and sensual person-- these people take on impressions of the world around them and use that to fuel their creative/imaginative process

The kind of person who’s one feet is firmly planted in reality, while the other allows themselves to be creative/expansive and world builds around them

Underneath all that softness and nurturing, that stability. Cancer/Taurus can have a rather fiery and stubborn core. They don’t like to get mad, but if they must then they must.

There’s always a hint of a subliminal message if you cross them, like ‘dont do this’ or ‘don’t do that’ -- it comes with the territory of reading each other’s faces. 

Cancer/Taurus are tenacious, and that goes for their work/pursuit and advice. While they’re the type to look out for you, they get exasperated if you don’t take their words seriously or follow it to a T. 

Although they are thoughtful, protective and secure/assured in themselves. They can have a hard time seeing letting themselves be vulnerable or letting others take care of them. 

These people are the one who insists on their personal security, and that means keeping themselves contained. Even with their emotions, rarely do they acknowledge ‘uglier’ emotions such as jealousy, envy or pride that they have. 

Even when you point it out to them, or tell them so they can deal/work and identify it themselves. If Cancer/Taurus aren’t prepared to hear it-- they are shocked and become guarded, naturally defensive they close their ears and don’t listen to anyone else’s good will or advice for them

Taurus as a sign of Venus and Cancer as a sign of the Moon makes these people naturally sensitive to criticism, particularly ‘shutting their emotions’ down as to not get hurt. They approach personal criticism with objectivity instead of constructively using it to help themselves. 

Criticism are only valid if the Cancer/Taurus are prepared to hear it, or knows a way to work/deal with it through pragmatism. If not-- then it’s useless. Falls on deaf ears. 

It’s practically so hard to get them to listen to you so most people leave them to deal with it themselves-- looking on worriedly as they routinely make a subconscious bad habit of not looking after their own well-being-- and ignoring the productive way to get better because of their own-- focused ignorance. 

Breaking a habit/routine that gives them ‘personal security’--- even if it’s bad, but it gives them emotional gratification/safety for the time being. This is hard for the Cancer/Taurus to break and see for themselves. But this is the lesson they’ll have to bring, in order to fully realize how they can reflect and use their own flexibility fully instead.

I hope this is helpful! 💕💕💕 

[retrievablememories]

make it feel good (m) | taehyung

pairing: taehyung x black female oc genre: smut, fluff, and a lil bit of angst summary: in which two best friends realize what they've been missing out on this whole time. word count: 7.5k warnings: dirty talk, food play...if you squint, body insecurities a/n: i don’t know if this would be considered idol x reader since ole girl has a name but you can imagine her as whothefuckever (as long as she remains black...lmao) i just hate writing 2nd person “you” and it felt awkward to keep saying “she” so i gave her a name. i crossposted this to wattpad for like 2 seconds but took it down just so everyone knows. maybe i’ll post it again. also yeah this title is based off the childish gambino song lol.

His voice floats on the wind.

The air is cold, and she has to pull her oversized coat tighter around herself so she doesn't freeze. She thinks about buttoning the coat up, but her fingers are stiff from the low temperature, and she doesn't feel like expending the extra effort to flex them into such complicated positions.

She turns around to look at him. He is waving something small and indiscernible in between his long fingers, although she can guess it's probably a seashell or some similar object. From this angle the wind blows straight into her face, stinging her eyes and making them well up with tears. She turns her face away from the wind's assault and faces the ocean again, waiting for him to come over to her and display his new finding.

It only takes a few seconds before he's right beside her again. She feels him before she even sees him. His body heat radiates out in every direction, indifferent to the cold that leeches the warmth out of everything.

"Look," he says gently, his deep voice right in her ear. He holds his hand out in front of her. There's a small rock tucked in his palm; it's shiny with jagged edges and darker than the blackest night. His fingers curl around it as if he's trying to shield it from the wind. She cautiously brushes it with her index finger and it's a strange sort of smooth-rough texture. Still rubbing the surface of the rock, her eyes drag up and up, away from his hand until her gaze is resting on his lips, a bit chapped but still rose pink, and further up to his eyes, which are focused on the object in his palm.

Suddenly he flicks his eyes up to hers, meeting her gaze head-on, and she can't help the tremble that reverberates through her entire body. She pulls her hand away from the rock in a restrained gesture, trying not to move too quickly and betray her utter nervousness. In her haste, her fingers skim past his own and her skin burns. He smiles softly at her. His eyes, in this moment, are impossibly warm. They portray a multitude of things she can't bring herself to acknowledge, or figure out, or accept. Moments like these make her infinitely grateful for her dark skin; the heat spreading across her face won't be revealed.

She's hot enough just from the way he's looking at her, but she pulls her coat closer again—more out of insecurity than any real need for warmth. She averts her eyes in a way that she hopes isn't too obviously embarrassed or flustered, though she's sure he's already caught on to something. He has always been able to read her like a book, and with the increased proximity their vacation brings, she's not sure how much longer the both of them can keep pretending like there isn’t something steadily building between them. Her unmoved facade has begun to splinter and slip.

The sound of the waves does little to calm her nerves as she looks at a point on the horizon, impossible to see clearly from the cover of night.

"Taehyung, maybe we should head back now. It's getting late," Nayana says, keeping her voice as even as possible.

Taehyung stares silently at her for a few seconds longer, and even though she can only see him in her periphery, the simple action elicits a variety of emotions that make the corners of her mind fuzzy. Then he nods, pocketing the rock and giving her his signature boxy smile, as if nothing occurred. "Sure, let's go."

The walk back to the hotel is quiet. Not uncomfortably quiet—at least she hopes not—but there's a stillness that fills in the gaps between their minds and bodies.

There aren't too many people in the lobby this late. Most are up in their rooms tending to their own business or out partying—which is what their group of friends had opted for. It was Jungkook's idea, of course, and if anything was his idea, Lisa was up for it, which resulted in everyone else tagging along—everyone except Taehyung.

Nayana had decided to keep him company so he wouldn't be completely alone, which wasn't hard to do since their friends' excellent room-matching skills left them occupying the same room. Yet another undercover scheme to get them closer together and goad them into eventually revealing their feelings for one other. It was the kind of thing they were all acutely aware of but didn't speak on for fear of whatever consequences lie on the other side.

On the elevator ride to the fourth floor, Taehyung nudges Nayana repeatedly and makes faces at her through the elevator's mirrored panels until she finally smiles and shoves him back. He laughs, and her heart beats a little faster at the sound.

They get off at their floor and head to their room toward the end of the hall. Nayana trails slightly behind him so she can observe his back view, admiring his broad shoulders and long legs. He'd changed a lot since they first met; she still remembers the young, small boy he used to be. On occasions when she takes the time to really think about it, the contrast between his past and current self is jarring—but not in a bad way.

She is startled out of her thoughts when he looks at her over his shoulder.

"Why are you all the way back there? Are you staring at my ass?" He says it loud enough so that anyone currently in their hotel room could probably hear it, and she knows he's trying to embarrass her. Nostalgic moment = ruined.

"Ugh. Boy, shut the fuck up." Nayana snorts and rolls her eyes, and this makes him giggle. "Give me something to stare at and maybe I would."

"Are you saying I don't have an ass?" Taehyung asks teasingly as he slides the hotel key into the card reader. "Then be generous and give me some of yours."

"In your fucking dreams, Taehyung," Nayana scoffs and punches him in the arm. Their push-and-pull game of innocent flirtation is nothing new. But ever since her feelings for him began to tip away from merely platonic, his comments never failed to make her falter and sweat and wonder if anything he said could be an indicator of his own interest.

She's glad their friends at least had the decency to leave them in a room with two beds.

Nayana makes her way over to the far side of the room, near the window, where her bed is located. There's a balcony outside the window, and from her bed, she has a nice view of the ocean below when the curtains are pulled back.

"Do you wanna shower first?" Taehyung asks, hovering near his suitcase as he waits for her answer.

"I'm surprised you're not suggesting we shower together and save water," she responds, still looking out the window.

"I mean, I'm down if you are." Nayana doesn't even have to look at him to know he's smirking and raising his eyebrows in that way she (loves) hates. She laughs airily and sheds her coat and shoes before rolling over onto the bed, her braids haloing out around her head. She drops her purse onto the nightstand and pulls her phone out.

"You go first, I take too long in the shower and I don't want to keep you waiting forever."

While he's in the shower, Nayana's phone pings, signaling a new text message.

11:45 P.M. LaLisaaaa 💕💕 what u doing girl??

11:46 P.M. Nothing...just waiting on Tae to get out the shower. Why?

11:47 P.M. LaLisaaaa 💕💕 are u and taehyungie gonna have some fun?

11:49 PM We already went out and walked on the beach earlier...

11:50 P.M. LaLisaaaa 💕💕 u know that's not the kind of fun i'm referencing sis.

11:52 P.M. BYE GIRL. I have no clue what you're talking about me and Tae are just friends

11:52 P.M. LaLisaaaa 💕💕 but we all know u'd rather be more.

11:53 P.M. ANYWAY why are you texting me? You're at the club bitch ain't you supposed to be partying????

11:55 P.M. LaLisaaaa 💕💕 this place is lowkey lame. nothing but corny wannabe rappers selling mixtapes in here. i've already cussed out two dudes who tried to get at nakiya. yoongi and namjoon are close to losing their tempers. lucia's drunk af and jungkook is babysitting her. we'll probably be back soon.

11:55 P.M. LaLisaaaa 💕💕 thinking back on it, it's a good thing u ended up in the room with taehyungie instead of me. i'd h8 to come back and walk in on u getting ur cakes smashed to smithereens

11:56 P.M. Lisa.............please

11:57 P.M. LaLisaaaa 💕💕 😘 u love me. have fun . and know tht i slipped some condoms in your purse pocket. be safe bitch.

11:58 P.M. 🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿

Nayana grabs her purse off the nightstand and checks every pocket, just to see if Lisa was fucking with her or not. Sure enough, on the inside pocket, there is a strand of condoms tucked snugly inside. The backs of her knees tingle and her body grows hot as she allows herself to entertain the idea of using them...with him...who is currently still in the shower, very much naked and very much wet. Immediately after this thought crosses her mind, she squeezes her eyes shut and groans, silently berating herself.

Girl, stop! You're not even sure if he likes you or not. And even if he did...you cannot have sex with him.

The shower cuts off. Her heart rate kicks up. She zips her purse back up and closes out of her messages. Although she knows mind reading is impossible, she can't help but imagine what he'd say if he knew what she was just thinking. She lies back on the pillows and tries to look as inconspicuous as possible when Taehyung comes out of the shower, wrapped in one of the complimentary bath robes the hotel provided. "It's all yours," he says, and she nods before gathering her toiletries and entering the bathroom.

When Nayana finally comes out of the bathroom, she finds Taehyung lying on his bed still in his bath robe, watching something on his phone and eating from a bag of Hershey's Kisses. She pauses near his bed, her facial expression stuck halfway between amusement and incredulity. "Where did you get those?"

"I brought them with me," he says, wiggling his toes in the direction of his suitcase.

She raises one eyebrow, crossing to her side of the room and putting her dirty clothes away in a laundry bag. "Are you gonna share? 'Cause I feel some kinda way about you eating chocolate all up in my face when you know it's my number one weakness."

Taehyung pats the open space on the bed beside him. "Come watch this cheesy ass k-drama with me and you can have some." Nayana goes to take him up on his offer but hesitates when she realizes that she will be sitting beside him while he's wearing the robe—with nothing underneath. Taehyung notices the awkward smile on her face and sits up, his k-drama momentarily forgotten. "Oh, I can change if you're uncomfortable, I—I just—you know how it is when you plan on getting dressed after a shower but then you're distracted by something? Yeah, I—um, sorry."

Seeing Taehyung assume the opposite position in their usual interactions—flustered and stumbling—makes Nayana feel less embarrassed about her own chaotic emotions, and a small part of her even takes pleasure in it. Before she can think twice about her actions, she's already climbing onto his bed and tugging at his arm to pull him back down. "It's fine, you don't need to. We're friends, right?" She instantly regrets saying that, but it's the first thing she can think of to assuage his nervousness. He nods, but his responding smile appears just as strained as hers was moments ago.

Taehyung turns the volume all the way up and holds the phone so they can both comfortably watch it. They have to huddle closer than Nayana anticipated, and he's practically lying on her chest, but she doesn't mind it much. The bag of Hershey's sits in the minimal space between them and they take turns taking Kisses out of it. The wrappers collect in a little pile on the bed.

In the drama they're watching, a scene comes up where the main girl is being fed by her love-interest-slash-mortal-enemy after fracturing her wrist and being unable to lift the utensils herself. The overly romantic music combined with both actors' exaggerated facial expressions makes Taehyung burst out laughing. Nayana startles and looks at him with wide eyes.

"Can you believe that? Who does this?"

"What, feeding each other? You've never done that before?"

"I was more referring to the fact that she's letting her so-called enemy feed her with a spoon," Taehyung says, rolling his eyes. Nayana elbows him in the side. "But yeah, the feeding part is so corny."

"Really. It's kind of cute to me..." Taehyung throws Nayana a skeptical look and she instantly feels judged. She scrambles to put together a response before he can open his mouth. "I—I mean, isn't it obvious? It's not so much the act itself but it's the feeling of being cared for...knowing that someone else cares enough to make sure you're good." Taehyung's expression shows that he's turning something over in his mind, but he doesn't say anything. His eyes go back to the phone screen and she thinks that he's dropped the subject, so she relaxes again—until he says,

"So you like being taken care of?"

His words come out careful and measured. It's an odd question, and she wonders where he's going with it. She's hesitant to answer. The crinkling sound of him opening another Hershey's Kiss distracts a part of her mind.

"...Yes. Who doesn't?"

"You would be surprised," he mumbles. Before Nayana can ask what he means by that, the words are halted in her throat as she watches him balance the little piece of chocolate between his fingers and bring it up to her lips. It's so close that if she were to pucker her lips, she would touch it easily.

"What are you doing?"

"Feeding you."

A puff of air leaves her lips—the beginnings of a why?—but she decides not to ask. Because this is another of those precarious situations that could catapult their friendship into uncharted territory, and she is deathly afraid to go plunging into that terrain without armor, a shield, and a backup plan. So, she takes the candy without asking any questions. She's very careful not to close her lips around his fingers. This is already more suggestive than she thinks her poor cardiovascular system can handle.

Taehyung's mouth quirks up in a smile, but he doesn't seem satisfied.

"Now, feed me."

"Greedy ass. Weren't you the one calling it corny?" she jokes, but she reaches into the bag anyway. Her body thrums with anxiety and it takes a few tries before she can still her fingers enough to actually grab a Kiss. She wants to believe that she is playing it cool enough to where he won't pick up on her inner turmoil, but she knows that isn't true.

Nayana peels the wrapper off and guides the chocolate to his plush lips. He leans closer and opens his mouth, capturing the candy with this tongue. Unlike her, Taehyung isn't afraid of an overly intimate touch; he allows his tongue to glide across her fingertips. The thing that nearly knocks the wind out of her chest, though, is the way he keeps eye contact with her the entire time. The act of eating chocolate has never been so erotic. He makes it look like something wicked.

The phone is lying on the bed now, the k-drama paused and forgotten.

Taehyung unwraps another candy, but his eyes don't leave her face.

He feeds Nayana again, and again she avoids touching his fingers. When she has eaten the chocolate, she expects him to take his hand away so he can have his turn, but he doesn't. His fingers hover in front of her mouth.

"You—you have chocolate right...here." Taehyung presses his thumb onto her full bottom lip and swipes across, albeit much slower than he needs to. Her breath hitches and stutters at this action. She regards him with disbelieving eyes, her mind jumbled together with a hundred different thoughts. When he pulls away from her, he brings his thumb to his own mouth and licks the smear of chocolate away. His expression is unreadable—at first. But then he moves his hand, and she is almost horrified to see the small smirk there.

This single look changes something. Or everything.

For once in her life, Nayana doesn't think about the consequences, the aftermath, or the debris after the dust settles. There is nothing of importance to think about except herself, Taehyung, this hotel room—her hands, reaching for his face—his lips, pressed to her own and more delicious than she could've ever dreamed. A vulgar moan drips all silky and hot from the gap between their lips, and she realizes belatedly that it's her own voice. Taehyung laughs at her enthusiasm, but it turns into a moan of his own when he reaches behind her and grips her ass in his big hands.

The kiss is sloppy and far from the movie-perfect couplings you see on screen, but it is one of the hottest things she's ever experienced, so she can't complain.

With his hands still on her ass, Taehyung lifts her up and drops her down in his lap, rocking his hips to meet her when she settles. She feels his half-hard dick through his robe, rubbing against her through her pajama pants and underwear, and even with so many layers between their bodies, the feeling of him is indescribable. Taehyung sucks her bottom lip into his mouth and grinds into her again, although he quickly becomes frustrated with the muted friction. He slides his hand up her shirt to rest on her waist and his fingernails scrape against her bare skin, coming noticeably close to her stomach. This is what snatches her back to reality. Her reality.

Nayana jerks away from his lips and puts her hand on top of his to prevent him from going any further.

He looks at her with his eyebrows furrowed and his pouty, swollen mouth turned down into a frown. He searches her troubled face for answers. Some of her braids obscure her face, and he brushes them away. "Wh—what's wrong?"

"I can't." She lets out a pained groan and climbs off his lap to lie back on the bed, her arm thrown over her face. She is still uncomfortably warm and throbbing between her legs, but she tries to ignore it.

"I'm sorry," Taehyung blurts out, trying to keep the panic from rising in his voice. The sinking feeling that he might've went too far and singlehandedly destroyed their friendship brews in his stomach. "I'm really sorry—I should've asked you first. I shouldn't have—"

"Stop, it's not your fault," Nayana interrupts, sitting back up to face him. She chews her lip and casts her eyes downward, unable to look at him directly. "I...I want to, believe me, but..." She pauses a moment, thinking of a way that this could still work. "Can we at least turn the lights off?"

"The lights?" Taehyung questions it as if he's never heard of such a thing, and his apparent obliviousness doesn't alleviate her distress. "I...wanted to see you, but if that's what you want—"

Nayana rolls her eyes. "Taehyung, I don't want you to see me and think this was all a mistake. Or run away screaming." She laughs in an attempt to make it a joke, but the sound isn't genuine. Taehyung understands.

"Are you embarrassed of your body?" His voice is gentle, but in her defensive and vulnerable state, it comes off as patronizing. She struggles to think of a reply that won't hurt his feelings, not wanting to lash out at him.

"Does it matter?"

"To me, yes. I want you to see yourself the way I've always seen you...even though I haven't exactly said it. Because I didn't want to risk things with you. But I'm saying it now; you're more beautiful than I can put into words. Your body is beautiful. There is nothing you could ever do to run me away."

Nayana makes a noise of disbelief, although it doesn't come out as harsh as she intends. "Sure, okay. But you haven't seen me without clothes."

"I'd like to. If that's okay with you." Taehyung's voice is lower than it was a second ago and the difference makes her squirm. She chances a glance at his eyes and finds the same soft, melting look from the beach. She can't remember the last time someone has looked at her like that—or if anyone ever has—and this revelation makes the backs of her eyes sting. Sighing, she rubs her face. This is not the time to get emotional.

"Dim the lights," Nayana says quietly. "Don't turn them off."

Taehyung does as she tells him to while she clears the mess of candy wrappers off the bed. Soon there is nothing left on the bed but their two bodies, the raw sexual energy from only moments ago transformed into a more subdued, humming tension. They face each other. Nayana's eyes shift to different spots of the room every few seconds. Taehyung moves closer until there's only centimeters of space between their faces, his nose brushing hers. He moves his hand to cup the side of her face before pressing his lips to hers, firm, but not rough. She parts her lips to let him inside and he accepts, licking into her mouth and sucking her tongue. The other hand that's not on her face rests on the juncture between her thigh and hip. Nayana feels awkward with her hands at her sides, so she tentatively places her hand at the nape of his neck, running her fingers through his long hair.

When he breaks the kiss, she can't stop herself from chasing after his lips, and he chuckles at this. Giving her a chaste peck, he says, "I'll give you everything you want. Just be patient." He moves to her jawline and down her neck, placing open-mouthed kisses on the places he predicts will be most sensitive. Occasionally he pauses to nuzzle into her neck, breathing in her familiar scent of vanilla. This is not Nayana's first time having sex, but her body responds so quickly to his touch that it's embarrassing. By the time he makes it to her collarbone, she is soaking wet.

Taehyung's hand stays planted on her hip, kneading the supple flesh and, every so often, curving around to squeeze her ass cheek. "Tell me what you want me to do," he whispers, pausing his attentions on her chest to look up at her. Now she is the oblivious one, looking back at him in near-shock.

"I..." Some part of her is grateful that he's letting her do the deciding here, handing the reigns over so she won't feel rushed or taken advantage of. But the other part feels lost and without direction. What does she want him to do? "T—touch...me."

"I am touching you," he answers, smirking.

Nayana resists the urge to pout and roll her eyes. Always the damn tease. "I mean...touch my...touch m—my pussy."

Taehyung's resulting smile is wide and hungry as he slides his hand between her thighs, cupping her pussy in the palm of his hand. He makes sure to tilt his hand so the heel of his palm grinds against her clit. Nayana gasps and grabs his shoulder. "Fuck, it's so warm." He bites his lip hard, his hooded eyes sliding from her pussy to her face. He continuously rocks his palm into her clit while he busies his mouth with her breasts, latching onto one brown nipple through the fabric of her T-shirt.

"Tae," Nayana moans, pushing her hips into his hand to create more friction. He switches off to the other nipple, smoothing his tongue across it before gently biting it. Her grip on his shoulder tightens and her back arches, the action pushing her breasts further into his face.

"Hmm, you like that?" Taehyung grazes his teeth over her nipple again and he can practically feel her get wetter in his palm. "You like being bitten? You like being hurt?" Nayana's response is an embarrassed whimper, but she whispers yeah. Taehyung simply grins and files that bit of information away in his mind for later.

His kisses reach her stomach. Nayana lies on her back to accommodate him so the position won't be awkward, although she starts to fidget from nerves. The urge to reach down and push his head away is overwhelming, and she balls her fists up in her shirt to keep from doing so. Even though he's steadily rubbing her, it's not enough to make her fully relax and her body tenses up. Taehyung doesn't fail to notice. "It's okay," Taehyung murmurs, gingerly kissing her soft, slightly pudgy stomach. He moves at a slow pace to avoid making her too uncomfortable, glancing up to give her reassuring looks every now and then. He takes his hand off her and she sighs with disappointment, only to let out a high-pitched moan when he circles his thumb on her clit. Her legs tremble and her body heat increases but she still has enough sense of mind to notice his other hand on the hem of her shirt, and when he asks for her permission, she answers with a shaky yes.

Taehyung pushes her shirt up until it's sitting under her breasts and doesn't try to take it any further than that for the moment. "You're so soft," he sighs contentedly, leaving kisses here and there on the expanse of her brown skin.

He dips his tongue into her belly button for a hot second before moving down to the waistline of her pants. Nayana jumps when he does it and they both end up laughing at her reaction. It's a strange sensation, one she's never experienced before, but she decides that she likes it.

When Taehyung asks if he can slide her pajamas off, she takes a deep breath and nods, to which Taehyung says, "I need words, baby" and leaves a hot kiss on her abdomen that leaves her mind fizzling.

"Take...take them off, Tae."

He does so, taking his hand away from her neglected clit for the second time that night to pull her pants off and leave them lying somewhere on the floor. He gazes at the stretchmarks spreading across her hips and thighs and curving around her ass and he smiles. "You're so pretty," he hums, running his hands over her skin. He traces some of the lines with his fingers. "A work of art. But not just any art; you are the kind of masterpiece an artist spends their whole life perfecting." He settles down between Nayana's legs so he can get closer. "I wish we'd done this sooner. I wish I'd said something sooner. I've spent too many nights wondering," he holds her thighs apart, "what it would look like to have you all wide open for me."

"Ha—ave you?" Nayana's question comes out in a staggered breath when Taehyung chooses that moment to bury his face into her clothed pussy, his nose bumping against her clit. When she realizes that he's breathing her in, she becomes so flustered that she covers her face with her hands.

"Of course," he says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I can't count the amount of times I've laid in bed with my hand around my dick, imagining what it'd be like to have you sit on my face and cum all over my tongue." Her lavender cotton panties are so wet that her lips are visible, and Taehyung prods his tongue against her hole before coming back up to lick her clit. "Can I taste you now?"

"Please."

Taehyung hooks his fingers into the band of Nayana's underwear and takes his time pulling them down, kissing each new exposed patch of skin until his lips land on her pubic mound, just above her clit. His eyes pin her under his gaze as he wraps his lips around her clit and sucks. Nayana tugs her lower lip into her mouth, her eyebrows furrowing from the pleasure rocketing through her veins.

Taehyung makes quick work of her underwear, tossing those to the side too, before he's diving in face first. He uses his long fingers to spread her lips open and drag his tongue across her pussy from bottom to top. He takes her clit into his mouth again, circling his tongue around it and sucking it at the same time, while he carefully slides one finger halfway inside. He searches with the tip of his finger until he finds what he's looking for, and he knows he's struck gold when Nayana clenches and bucks into his mouth.

Taehyung introduces another finger and curls them both up into that spot repeatedly, keeping a steady pace. Nayana relaxes enough to release one of her hands from its clenched position on her shirt and bring it to Taehyung's head. She grasps the strands of his dark hair between her fingers and tentatively presses his face closer. Taehyung tightly grips her thigh with his free hand and moans into her pussy, the vibrations making her twitch around his long fingers.

"Fuck," he gasps out, "this is too fucking good." Taehyung gives her clit a sloppy French kiss and lets his tongue roll around the small nub until Nayana is vocalizing his name in a broken cry and threatening to tear his hair out. "Pull it harder, baby. You're not the only one who enjoys being hurt."

Nayana is close. The way Taehyung speaks to her, his voice honey and velvet, only pushes her farther toward that shining peak. "Tell...me more."

Taehyung locks eyes with her and smiles like he knows something she doesn't. He increases the speed of his fingers. "What about, babygirl?"

"About...you—when you would think about me...at night."

"Ahh." When he speaks, Taehyung's mouth doesn't part from her for too long. He's intent on pleasuring her with both his words and his tongue; between every few words, he pauses to kiss and suck her clit. "I don't know if you even remember this...but there was this time we went to a festival...and you wore this red dress. It clung to you perfectly...it drove me crazy. I was half-hard the entire time." Nayana moans at this. "When I went home that night, I couldn't stop imagining...bending you over one of those picnic tables and eating you out right there...or fucking you in my car with people outside just feet away. It would've been so easy...to just pull your dress up and slide inside." Taehyung punctuates this last sentence by pushing all the way in and rubbing Nayana's g-spot until she is screaming and covering his fingers with cum. He finds the sight of her orgasm incredibly endearing, and he laughs as he keeps fucking her with his mouth and hands until she forces him away.

Taehyung sits back as Nayana takes a moment to catch her breath. He watches her with loving eyes and a wet face—an interesting combination. When she's calmed down, she sits up and captures his lips in a kiss, tasting herself in the crevices of his mouth. Her hand settles on Taehyung's thigh, dangerously close to the tent in his robe, and he suddenly realizes how painfully hard he is.

"I wanna touch you, Tae. Can I?" Nayana asks, her lips brushing his.

"Honestly, I'd let you, but I'm so horny I think I might cum the moment your hand wraps around me. I'd rather be inside of you when that happens."

Nayana might've laughed if he weren't staring at her so intensely that it felt like layers of her very core were being stripped away. She merely watches him as he pulls the tie of his robe apart, letting the soft fabric fall open and slip off his shoulders. Taehyung's dick is exposed to the open air—flushed, drooling precum, and curving toward his stomach. It's thick, but not too long, which Nayana is grateful for, because it looks like it's going to be a tight fit without the added trouble of having her cervix stabbed. As Lucia would always say; bust the walls out, not the ceiling. Yeah, thanks, Lucia.

"Like what you see? You've been staring for quite a while." Taehyung's tone is filled with amusement, but Nayana doesn't miss the hint of uneasiness lingering in his eyes. A giggle slips past Nayana's lips as she leans forward to kiss him.

"You're perfect." Taehyung makes a noise of appreciation, and before he can deepen the kiss, Nayana is sliding off the bed and heading to her nightstand to retrieve her purse. Taehyung's eyes are glued to Nayana's body the entire time. Taehyung grips his dick, thumbing the head and spreading the precum around while he commits her curves to memory. Nayana comes back to his side seconds later with the pack of condoms Lisa "gifted" her.

"You brought condoms on this trip? Were you planning on fucking me all along?" Taehyung asks, chuckling.

"Okay, number one, these are from Lisa, and number two, you didn't bring any, so were you expecting to fuck me raw? Because that's not happening...yet."

Taehyung bites his lip at the idea of yet. He pulls one of the foil packets off the strand and rips it open. "I didn't bring any on this trip because I wasn't really anticipating sex with my closest friend, but, you know..." Taehyung rolls the condom onto his dick and gives his shaft a few satisfactory strokes before tugging Nayana into his lap. The head of his dick slides across her clit and they both gasp. Taehyung tightens his grip around her waist and positions his dick with his other hand. "Are you ready?" he whispers, pressing his lips to her neck.

"Yes."

Taehyung thrusts up at the same time Nayana lowers her hips, causing him to slide halfway in. Taehyung muffles a grunt in the side of Nayana's neck. His dick twitches when she moans, long and low, in his ear. "Are—are you okay?" he grits out through clenched teeth.

"I'm f—fine," Nayana insists. She clings to his bare back for dear life, her fingernails leaving little indents in his tan skin. The stretch is unfamiliar and it stings—she's never been spread open this far—but it's a good pain. The kind of pain that leaves you crawling back for more. She craves more of that sensation. Before he can speak again, Nayana sits her full weight on him, taking him completely inside of her body.

When Taehyung bottoms out, his eyes roll back. He can only imagine what it would be like to be inside of something this damn warm and wet without the condom on, and he has to ground himself to keep from busting at the mere thought. His breath puffs out across Nayana's neck and collarbone as he screws his eyes shut and remains still. When Nayana experimentally rocks her hips against his, Taehyung grabs her hips with shaking hands, his fingertips sinking into the soft flesh. "Wait, fuck. Not yet." He kisses and nibbles along the column of her throat in an effort to distract himself and to work her up more. A few more moments pass, and he thinks he's finally calmed down enough to move.

Taehyung pulls out until just the tip is left inside and pushes back in—not harshly, but with enough force to make their skin slap when they connect. He does this again, pulling Nayana's body toward him at the same time so that she easily slides down his full girth, and again, and again, until he creates a steady rhythm that has them both moaning into each other's mouths. Nayana, still with her shirt on, now throws the useless article of clothing away, completely baring herself to Taehyung. Taehyung's breath hitches at the sight of her bare breasts in front of him, and his hips falter for a second before he increases the pace, feverishly fucking into her.

"Tae, yes, yes, oh fuck, don't stop," Nayana's pleas get louder when Taehyung takes a nipple in his mouth and starts sucking. He slides his hand from her hip around to the space where their bodies meet, gathering her wetness on this thumb before pressing the digit against her clit and rubbing in circles. Nayana tightens around him. This action spurs him on even more. Nayana lets out a shriek of surprise when her back abruptly collides with the bed, Taehyung throwing her legs over his shoulders. Their lips meet in a messy tangle of tongues and teeth as Taehyung rolls his hips, again searching for the spot that will have her coming apart in his arms.

"Fuck, please—" Nayana's breath catches and she chokes on her words when he strikes her g-spot, making her legs tense up around his neck. Taehyung grins wildly and relentlessly pounds into that soft, sensitive spot, driving her closer to the approaching end. The room is filled with the vulgar, wet slap of skin-on-skin, a sound that Taehyung loves, a sound that motivates him to fuck her into the hotel mattress until nothing escapes her mouth but punctuated gasps.

Nayana clenches around Taehyung almost unbearably tight, and he lets out a deep moan from the feeling; it's as if she's sucking him deeper within her body. Sweat drips off his nose and chin and lands on her own sweat-slicked skin—evidence of the hard work he's putting in. The pool of warmth in the pit of his stomach rapidly spreads to the rest of his body and he knows he's not going to last much longer, but he refuses to come before her.

"You gonna come for me? Come on, baby...come all over this dick." Taehyung's thumb returns to her clit and it only takes a few more well-placed strokes before she's finished. Nayana's mouth parts in a silent scream as she comes, her body tensing like a tightly-strung bow and her walls pulsing around his thick cock. Taehyung continues rubbing her clit, prolonging the waves of pleasure ebbing through her quivering body until she squirms away from his incessant hand.

At the sight of Nayana fucked-out and spent beneath him, his thrusts begin to lose rhythm, hips clumsily smacking into hers, and soon he is pushed over the edge, burying himself balls deep as the first spurts of seed shoot into the condom. Rough, broken moans spill from his lips as he works his way through his orgasm, thrusting a little more before finally coming to a stop. Taehyung's body slumps with exhaustion, though he makes sure to keep most of his weight off her. After catching his breath, he glances at Nayana to find her already looking at him. She regards him with an amused and affectionate expression. He dips his head to kiss her, though he can't stop himself from smiling.

Taehyung pulls out, slips the condom off and ties it before going to the bathroom to dispose of it. He returns with a warm washcloth that he uses to clean Nayana and himself with. His caresses are as gentle as they were at the beginning of the night, a contrast to the way he just plowed her into the bed moments ago. Nayana's eyes start to hang low, but there is something she must do before she can even think about sleeping. When Taehyung comes out of the bathroom again, he's about to climb into bed beside her until she says,

"Taeee...can you get my bonnet for me? I can't sleep on these pillows without it. It's in my suitcase...in the first compartment."

"Mm, sure." Taehyung kisses her cheek before walking over to her suitcase (still butt-naked). Even after everything that just transpired, Nayana's stomach fills with anxiety-ridden butterflies over the kiss. She's unused to this level of intimacy with Taehyung; every action is performed with intentions that aren't simply platonic anymore, and she doesn't know how to handle this.

Taehyung comes back with her bonnet in his hand, and Nayana reaches for it, but instead Taehyung plops it on top of her head. He laughs at its lopsidedness until he sees the unamused look Nayana levels him with. The laughter fades as he bends down so they're face to face and tucks her braids into the bonnet with meticulous care. It's impossible for Nayana to keep her face neutral and she soon breaks into a shy smile, averting her eyes from Taehyung's.

Bonnet secured, Taehyung turns the lights off and nestles under the sheets with her, her back to his chest and his arms holding her in a comforting grip.

"I...really like you, you know." His voice is tender. He fumbles over the word like, wanting to say something more but still afraid.

Nayana wonders if he can hear her heart pounding.

"I like you too, Taehyung."

Nayana wakes up with the sun blazing her eyes, legs tangled in the bedsheets, and a warm body pressed against her own. A warm body...

Everything from last night floods back to her lethargic mind. Her chest grows warm and her heart beats overtime. She turns her head around to look at Taehyung, who is still blissfully asleep, his arm draped over her middle. His features are soft and relaxed, a contrast to his normal disposition. A smile spreads across her lips at the sight of him.

Nayana's phone rings from the nightstand, signaling an incoming FaceTime call. Of course, it's from Lisa. She doesn't even remember bringing her phone to his side of the room last night. Against her better judgment, she answers the call, making sure to turn the volume down so Taehyung doesn't awaken.

Lisa's big, smiling face pops up on the screen seconds later. She's in the hotel room she shares with Lucia, standing outside on the balcony. "Heeeeeeeeeeyy sis—oh my God, is that Taehyung?" Lisa's greeting is cut short when she spots Taehyung's arm in the corner of the screen.

"Uh—maybe?"

Lisa screams so loud that Nayana is sure the annoying sound can rival every seagull in the area combined. Lucia's panicked voice pops up in the background as she rushes out of the bathroom to check and make sure Lisa didn't plummet off the side of the balcony or something. "Lu, come here! Look at this shit!" Lisa yanks Lucia by the arm, pulling the dark-haired girl into the frame. She's freshly showered and wearing nothing but a towel that she struggles to hold in place as Lisa jostles her around like a ragdoll. However, her eyes also widen when she sees the cause of Lisa's hysterics.

"Nayana, girl, is that you? Who's in the bed with you? Is that Tae? HAHA!" Lucia covers her mouth and cackles like a witch. Now the both of them are cheering, screaming, and laughing as loud as they can. Nayana is sure the beach goers on the sand below must be contemplating calling hotel security.

"I TOLD you it would work!" Lisa cries out, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "Ya girl is a GENIUS! You guys need to listen to me more often!"

"Too bad you can't be a matchmaker for yourself. How long have you been eye-spying Jungkook and you still haven't made a move?" Nayana retorts, stifling a laugh. Lucia bursts out laughing and Lisa slaps her arm.

"Don't worry about me, girl. All in due time. In the meantime, we should leave you alone with that new boooooyfriend of yours!" Lisa reminds Nayana of a silly first-grader who sings the "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" song whenever she spots another potential couple. Nayana rolls her eyes. "We'll see you later, yeah? Unless you two decide to stay holed up in the room all day. You gotta tell me all the details!"

"Girl—bye!"

The conversation ends and Nayana is immediately back to staring at Taehyung. She's too wired to go back to sleep, and right now, there's no better sight to see than this.

Nayana doesn't know how long she lies there observing him, but eventually he wakes up. She doesn't even bother with pretending like she hasn't been watching him sleep. He blinks his eyes cutely and yawns, smacking his lips. They make eye contact and they both laugh.

"I could get used to waking up to this," Taehyung says quietly, voice husky. He cups her cheek in his palm and smiles. He shifts closer but yelps when something suddenly pokes him in the side.

"What is it!?

Taehyung reaches under the covers, searching for the object. When he finds it, he holds it up for Nayana to see. It's the pack of condoms, four still left over from last night. He raises his eyebrows and smirks.

"Wanna use the rest of these?"

[fleurdeliszt]

this is ALL @abunnycotton ‘s fault. Pls direct all ur anon hate at her 

For those confused, it’a sequel to this https://kimcottonbear.tumblr.com/post/183332179653/so-this-is-all-abunnycotton-s-fault-she-wanted

Also it should go without saying that this is a work of fiction. There's a a lot of bad stuff in here and if you ever meet a guy like this irl, run.

Warnings : emotional manipulation, abuse

//

“Don't you think that idol from XX company is creepy?” (+34, -1560)

“ㅋㅋㅋㅋ you mean the leader of the new boy group yeah he has serial killer vibes” (+20, -1005)

“YALL MUST be kidding bc that is an actual angel??” (+2070, -12)

“What do i-fans know of Koreans? ㅋㅋ go back to your country instead of leaving comments on Naver” (+17, -172)

“His eyes are so cold it's like he has no soul” (+23, -78)

“that's kind of my type tbh” (+268, -89)

“Aren't those all XX idols? Their company idols are all robots” (+134, -76)

//

There are downsides to letting you debut. For one thing you're very much in the public eye and it makes it very difficult for him to reach you.

For another it has encouraged unsavory individuals delusional fantasies about how you belong to them.

//

“they say if you stalk XX gg you will die” (+451, -170)

“lol wtf” (+781, -53)

“you shouldn't be stalking anyone in the first place (+1704, -5)

“No but really, it's just one member.” (+561, -351)

“this is ridiculous you're all idiots, stop stalking celebs and get a life” (+2718, -198)

//

“Hyung.”

He turns around.

The same boy who 5 years ago grinned at him carefree and happy now has an odd expression on his face.

He smiles, settling down on the sofa and beckoning the younger boy closer.

To his amusement, the boy merely flinches.

“Is there something wrong?” His tone is gentle, and the wounded expression on the boy's face grows.

“It's nothing hyung.”

//

Recently he's found it difficult to focus. It might have to do with the numerous articles being released about you.

It might have to do with your rising popularity. Or your recent dating scandal.

Or the fact that you were no longer under his control.

His and your schedules barely ever overlapped and he found it increasingly irritating that you had a world tour coming up in the next few weeks.

He himself had his musicals and various other projects and was just plainly too busy to bother with you, but--

But.

It was infuriating and agitating for things to not go his way.

He would clench his teeth and bear it for a while. But not for too long.

//

There is another award show tonight.

He's sick of them.

Yet, he smiles at the cameras as he always does and locks eyes with you for a beat longer than necessary.

Lights blink and flash wildly around the both of you as you bashfully duck your face and turn away. He lets a smile touch his lips.

//

A magazine falls in front of him.

‘Netizens suspect popular boy group member A to be dating labelmate,’ the headline seems to jump out at him. He hides his smile behind his mug of coffee.

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrow at his group member, “What's this?”

“Trashy rumors,” his fellow member sniggers, “But manager still wants to talk you. Don't get into trouble hyung.”

A pause and then,

“It's not real, is it?”

He stands up and walks to the door to meet his manager without answering the question.

//

You sit there, tears overflowing onto your cheeks.

You have never looked more beautiful to him. He wants to wipe away the tears and kiss the tear tracks, all the way up to your lips. However, there are other important matters to attend to.

Like the disappointed looks your managers are aiming at you both.

“Why are you harassing her over some netizen comments?” His voice is cold.

“You know it's not like that,” his manager hastily assures him, “It'd be fine if it's just random comments. But somebody's been leaking pics of both of you. It looks bad.”

Of course it did. He leaked them himself.

The crying by his side gets louder.

“This is such a bad time to be in a scandal,” your manager sighs,”Couldn't you have been a little more careful?”

“We aren't dating!” You exclaim, “Please explain to them,” you beseech him and he sighs.

“We aren't dating,” he repeats and both the managers give you incredulous looks.

“You're kissing her forehead here,” he points it out at you, and you turn crimson.

“We're friends.” Your denial irritates him to no extent, but it doesn't matter. At least, not now.

“You can release a statement saying as such. That we're really close or something.”

Your manager sighs. “So much trouble over nothing. Nobody will believe this we're just friends excuse. At this point I wish you were dating. It'd be easier to explain.”

“We'll discuss it with the CEO. You'll probably be called soon as well.”

He ducks his head in apology even though he can't stop the smile stretching his lips.

//

To his irritation, his company just chooses not to acknowledge the issue.

It blows over after a while, like everything always does in the entertainment industry.

It does have added unwanted effect of making your popularity skyrocket.

You're casted on more shows, more collaborations. Your talent is finally recognized, as countless people comb through your fancams to find flaws and instead find an honestly endearing girl.

The nation is smitten.

Fantastic, he thinks bitterly, sipping his coffee.

//

“Do you think hyung is dating her?”

“They seem close.”

“Do they really though? They barely ever hang out after that news release of him and her.”

“Should I ask her out then?”

“Are you insane? What if hyung knows?”

“What does it matter to him? It's not like they're dating.”

His fingers dig into his palms so hard he can see indents.

//

It's time for drastic measures.

//

He didn't want to do it. Not really. He liked maintaining status quo.

You forced his hand though. Quite impudent of you, but that's why he liked you.

//

Your world tour is next week.

He's at your place, not the dorms, your actual house, where you lived with your parents.

“I didn't know you needed that music file so urgently!” You look bashful,”I thought I could take the demo home and practice a bit.”

“Yes well, it's the only copy so we need it.” It's the only copy because he has deleted other copies but you didn't need to know that.

“Please wait a minute,” your entire face is crimson and he likes it. A lot.

You hand over the USB to him, hesitating. He knows you like him. He knows you want him to spend a little longer at your place. He knows and yet he waits for you to speak.

“Uh- do you want to eat or drink something?”

Perfect. He smiles politely at you, nodding as you disappear into the kitchen.

It's time.

//

Your scream sounds like music to him and as it's abruptly cut off he sighs. Oh well.

Arranging his face into concern and fear, he moves quickly to spot you lying at the bottom of the stairs, your leg sprawled at an unnatural angle.

He had to actively stop his smile because this had gone exactly, if not better than his plans.

//

He rushes you to the hospital.

//

“He was at her place lol how much more proof do we need” (+5647, -234)

“I'm so worried for her, it looks like she really will have to take a break, her leg looks bad” (+1236, -367)

“what a bitch lol inviting guys to her place. Bet he's not the first one” (+657, -200)

“will her concert schedules be okay, I got the tickets after so long now I can't see her” (+749, -137)

//

He refuses to leave the hospital.

Even though it's him that's the reason for all of this, he feels an unfamiliar niggling in his heart.

Guilt.

It's for your own good, he tells himself sternly.

He's just not sure he believes it anymore.

//

“He stayed here all night.”

“What?” You almost sit up, but the pain that shoots through your broken leg makes you whimper.

“Don't push yourself,” your leader smiles, “He must really like you, though.”

“He's just guilty probably,” you sigh. “That's just like him though, to feel guilty over things that are out of his control.”

“Do you want to see him?”

“Am I allowed to?” You pout, “They probably won't let him in because it'd cause a bigger issue.”

“Leave that to your unnie,” she grins at you, and you grin back, feeling lucky to be so loved.

//

“Hi,” he waves at you, a bit awkward, and so very handsome that you blush.

“Hi,” you smile back, feeling like a 14 year old once again.

“Is that… Are you feeling okay?”

“I am,” you smile, “I'm glad I hadn't broken my neck. The doctor said it's a very real possibility.”

He looks alarmed.

“It didn't happen!” You wave your arms at him, laughing, “I'm fine now.”

“But you would have...died.” The last word is a quiet whisper.

You shrug, trying to make light of it despite your fingers trembling against your sheets. “It didn't happen so, don't worry about it.”

He looks at your a moment, and pulls you into a sudden embrace.

“I couldn't bear to lose you.”

Your heart pitter-patters in your chest. He's so close to you, you can feel his warm breath washing across your neck, his large hands that grasp your waist, the lingering scent of last night's cologne mixed with something more him.

“I really wouldn't survive losing you,” he whispers, and your head spins with the implications of his words.

He pulls back, his eyes bright with intensity. “I love you.”

//

“So they were dating.”

“I'm glad I didn't ask her out, hyung would have murdered me.”

//

IS this over? Idk.. Did he change in those last few minutes of the story? Uh no.. He’still crazy, hes probably always going to be that way lol unless he gets help. I was really really really inspired by Toma from amnesia (if any of u have played that pls feel free to hit me up!!! Absolutely in love with Shin and uhh Toma sgdjdk pls don’t judge) I haven't had this urge to write in so longgg omg 

[asexualzoro]

list of reasons I find zoro ridiculous

after my similarly titled mihawk post took off I decided to make a zoro post, since he’s my second favorite character and also arguably the most ridiculous character in all of One Piece. here we go

- I know what you’re all thinking. i’m gonna open this list with how he wields three swords, right? no. no, Zoro has done so much ridiculous bullshit, this doesn’t even seem weird anymore. i don’t even bat my eye at this. this is nothing. now that i’ve got that out of the way, let’s begin

- this dude has like, an obsession with cutting off his own limbs? and MAYBE i can understand trying to cut his feet off when they were stuck in wax—you’re trying to save your friends, i get it—but what about when he was sword shopping in loguetown? who’s first response when buying a cursed sword and testing if it’s really cursed is “i’ll toss it in the air n see if I get amputated lol.” plus there’s that old filler where luffy gets his finger stuck in a bottle and, when he asks zoro for help getting it out, zoro tries to CUT IT OFF. im convinced he lost that left eye of his bc he got dust or something in it and then tried to stab it out

- there’s like, several occasions where Zoro has been directed to head up a staircase and gone some other direction. it happened in enies lobby and in dressrosa? like, what’s the dude got against stai—... oh, wait

- his reintroduction post timeskip. get on the wrong boat? just cut it in half! who even cares! how’d you even end up on the wrong boat? you had to walk towards that boat, which means looking at the boat. that boat looked nothing like the sunny, wouldn’t zoro have noticed that? he also has to make an effort to climb on, which means, you guessed it, looking at the boat! he probably sees the crew members, maybe even gets helped up by one or a few. how did he not at any point in time notice that wasn’t his boat?

- also when they landed on sabaody the first time and zoro was like “i’m gonna go take a walk!” and both Sanji and Usopp tried to stop him, talking to him like concerned parents of a troublemaking toddler, like “Zoro you can’t go out there you’ll get lost!” to which Zoro replies “yeah but the grottos are numbered, I can find my way back if I just remember the number!” and Sanji and Usopp are like “okay, solid logic, even YOURE not dumb enough to mess that up” and what does Zoro do? what does he fucking do?

- I want to emphasize he messes it up because a bubble covers the 4 in “Grotto 41” so he thinks it’s grotto 1. BUBBLES. ARE. TRANSPARENT

- “sorry, I don’t pray to god” fuckin edgelord

- Zoro’s epithet is “Pirate Hunter” and it’s super lame. he could’ve been “Demon of the East Blue” but they went with pirate hunter, even though he became a pirate. even Chopper’s is better than his lbr

- THERES A SCENE WHERE SANJI THREATENS TO PUT RAZOR BLADES IN ZOROS FOOD N ZOROS LIKE “do it u won’t” SO SANJI DOES AND ZORO JUST EATS THEM? ODA EVEN GOT ASKED ABOUT IT IN AN SBS AND CONFIRMED YES, ZORO DID IN FACT EAT RAZOR BLADES. THIS 2EDGY4U BITCH JUST. STRAIGHT UP. ATE RAZOR BLADES

- in film gold he wears that black jacket under the white one. mind you he had no way of knowing he would be trapped in gold by tesoro or that they’d all have a dramatic coordinated outfit change once he was free so what the fuck was he doing? why did he wear that? who wears two jackets for no reason?

- “if i’m gonna be a statue I want it to be in this pose” “i’m glad I struck a pose”

- remember when zoro fought mr. 1 in alabasta and mr. 1 dropped a stone building on him and he was just like “this is a rocky day” or smth equally awful? i hate him

- the tarzan yell in skypiea

- actually, the goggles too.

- didn’t he try to convince someone he was fighting they were sunglasses bc they had some blinding light-based attack? I feel like he did but I don’t remember skypiea well enough to be sure

- Zoro vs the bird in skypiea. spent a fair amount of the damn arc running around skypiea getting messed w by a bird (which, according to Luffy, was more evolved than Zoro bc it had developed a sense of direction. burned by ur own captain)

- when asked why Zoro was able to speak with a sword in his mouth, oda said “IT’S HIS HEART SPEAKING”

- that colorspread Zoro where he reads a book about weightlifting while balancing a weight on top

- when Zoro fights that masochist guy in film gold (I think his name was dice?) and said some cocky ass one liner after the guy fell unconscious that went something like “What's wrong? Didn't it feel good? Aren't you gonna scream in pleasure?" awful

- Zoro almost gets murdered by Mihawk and then, later that day, tries to take on fishmen underwater. others r like “you cannot handle this, you will literally die” and Zoro doesn’t even care bc Luffy is in trouble

- he was sailing bc he left home to find mihawk and then couldn’t figure out how to get back

- remember that filler where Zoro taught Luffy how to skate but then forgot to teach him how to turn. I love both that this happened and the implication that Zoro is a person who knows how to roller skate and therefore has spent time roller skating. Zoro roller skating backstory when?

- when Zoro was fighting oz, a 500 year old corpse, he licked his sword. now, on top of licking his sword being ridiculous as hell because, listen, there’s NOTHING cool about licking your sword. you just look like a loser. but a sword that just came out of a 500 year old corpse? really? i know it was preserved by the cold and all but there’s no way it didn’t rot at all. that’s a rotted, frozen corpse. Zoro what in the HELL were you thinking. I hope you get sick

- i’m sure it probably wasn’t even the first time he licked his sword in a fight but I will say with absolute confidence he looked like a loser every single time

- I feel like he licked his sword while facing mr 1 but I can’t remember. if he did, that’s honestly iconic. stare down a dude that’s made of swords while licking yours? power move. only decent time to kick your sword

- Zoro, joining Luffy: “if you stand in the way of my dream i’ll kill you!” Zoro, a day later: “of course i’ll carry my captain in this heavy cage on my back to safety. oh this gaping wound in my side? nothing. who cares about bleeding to death, my captain needs me!”

- all those big weights he’s got. all of them.

- especially that time he was lifting weights post thriller bark after barely surviving kuma, still heavily injuries, complaining about how weak he is. buddy...

- that time in drum island where he decided to train by going swimming in the freezing ice-country water, then when he got out he got lost in the snowy mountains until he wandered into a random battle and took out some guy just to steal his coat

- this isn’t the only time he steals some random dude’s coat

- the chimney.

- that filler in smiles lobby where he gets, like, abducted by a bunch of children for a day and integrated into their family?

- Roronoa Zoro went fursuiting in dressrosa and that’s a canon fact you all must acknowledge

- speaking of being a furry anyone remember mugiwara theater?

- THE FUCKING MUGIWARA THEATER NAMES. mugiwara theater is a gift, alright? here’s some: nakamura hanzorou. zobear. ZOROMILK

- I FORGOT TO MENTION. THAT TIME ZORO N USOPP WERE HANDCUFFED TOGETHER AND ZORO TRIED TO CONVINCE USOPP TO PLAY ROCK PAPER SCISSORS WITH HIM TO SEE WHICH ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE TO CUT THEIR HAND OFF

- also the fact that his logic was “it’ll be fine cuz chopper can just sew it back on”

- can we also talk abt how later that fight he uses Usopp as a sword because holy shit Zoro

- this isn’t technically zoro’s fault but the guy who sold him his sword to him in loguetown has a giant version of bounty image up above his bath, which........

- barto asked for zoro’s autograph and Zoro just wrote “sword”

- the grave of the rumbar pirates was finished right around when Zoro woke up from his coma post thriller bark and Zoro decided to walk over while Brook is sitting there mourning almost everyone he ever loved and just. plops his sword—an inanimate object—in the dirt by the grave of BROOKS ENTIRE CREW like “hey i’m gonna bury this here u don’t mind tho right? cool”

- he’s lucky Brook is such a cool dude cuz if I was mourning the death of MY crew and some fuck decided to plant a rusty sword there i’d just fuckin kill em

- in Zou they were talking abt whatever and Luffy mentioned how Sanji was as strong as one thousand men and Zoro, clearly jealous that Sanji got praised by Luffy, butt in with a stuttery objection on how HE was stronger than Sanji and worth TWO THOUSAND men, which luffy ignored, and Nami had to reassure him that yes, Zoro, we know you’re strong. toddler

- this is also not technically zoro’s fault but one time someone asked oda in an sbs which strawhats would eat ice in their drink and oda answered who would n wouldn’t (Luffy, Chopper, Brook, Usopp, and Robin would, if ur wondering). Zoro was on the wouldn’t list, and some fan sent oda a letter informing him of a panel where Zoro was shown eating ice to disprove this. someone pulled zoro ice eating receipts on oda and that’s a fact we all have to live with

- the first time Zoro meets mihawk—the strongest man in the world, the man he wants to defeat someday, and incredibly powerful and impressive dude—he cries like a baby

- zoro’s been crucified like 4 times now. once in his introduction than in three movies (6, gold, nebulandia). idk why this keeps happening but honestly? keep it up

- when Brook joined the crew, Zoro said he was sorry for Brooks bad luck as if one of the first things Brook ever saw Zoro do wasn’t to try and die for the crew via Giant Paw Ball of Pain

- speaking of, i’m pretty sure half the reason zoro DIDNT die in thriller bark is because if he died via smth as silly as a giant paw ball his injured pride would kill him again

- I was going to make fun of Zoro for wearing only a suit and a fake mustache in dressrosa as a disguise but then I realized, like, given how absolutely shredded Zoro was in Punk Hazard and how that suit somehow managed to squish it all down without zoro ripping the sleeves off? solid disguise

- when merry was burning and everyone’s bawling and remembering great memories on the ship and Zoro was standing there, 100% stoic, remembering a nap

- Zoro saw marines (Garp) coming to Water 7 while Luffy was still unconscious and ran off to warn the others but couldn’t find his way back to the hotel

- that G8 filler where he falls off a cliff in pursuit of his swords

- speaking of fillers, remember that amnesia one? (ha). highlights include Zoro trying to physically fight a small sea horse (plus Usopp doing a bad lip-syncing) and Zoro swimming through the Grand Line with his swords tied to his head by his bandana

- meets a dragon, eats the dragon

- it got mentioned once that Sanji and Nami canonly help Zoro and the other guys get dressed. so every time Zoro wears something absolutely ridiculous (which is often), it’s probably Sanjis doing

- “I can’t believe I cut a freaking booger!!”

- speaking of, remember that time Luffy flicked a booger into Zoro’s drink at the Baratie and Zoro tried to force him to drink it?? remember that?? I hate them both

- that time Zoro was trying to find the Right Eye in Skypiea, said that (though the path to get there was STRAIGHT AHEAD) all he had to do to find the right eye was just keep going right (even though that would just lead him in circles!). and then after that do you know what direction he went?? do you know?? he fucking went left

- the time Zoro got lost walking on a straight path in a filler.

- Zoro lost to a guy in a fight and just fucking let the dude cut him in half. like, yes, the baratie scene was all cool as all hell and I love it but Zoro did in fact basically invite a dude to cut him in half

- when they were hit by negative hollows and everyone else said stuff that was kinda funny but Zoro went straight up “I don’t deserve to exist” please honey talk to someone

- he was fighting Kaku and kept engaging in Kaku’s devil fruit bs and then berating himself for being uncool as if he wasn’t already fighting a giant giraffe

- to end this list, I want to get to Zoro’s absolute worst offense. remember when Zoro fought Kaku and he did that asura form thing? where he straight up grew four extra arms and two extra heads, all wielding swords? what the FUCK was that? and don’t tell me “fighting spirit” alright. that’s bull. people don’t just GROW EXTRA SWORD-WIELDING BODY PARTS because they’re just REALLY INTO a FIGHT. like I know this is One Piece and shit’s ridiculous all this time but this? this is too much. even for One Piece this is too much. this is so ridiculous. there has to be a line, even in One Piece, with what these guys are allowed to get away with. I can accept haki so good you can see the future. I can accept spinning so fast you set your leg on fire. I can accept being made of springs. I can accept booger bombs. I can accept all that and more, but this? this is where i take my stand. Roronoa Zoro cannot keep getting away with this! fighting spirit is just not an explanation. and the worst part? the absolute worst part?

- Zoro makes four extra limbs and two extra heads, all armed with swords, MATERIALIZE out of THIN AIR with absolutely NO REAL EXPLANATION and then pretty much NEVER DOES IT AGAIN! he did it once in sabaody (and once in strong world) and then hasn’t done it since! everyone else uses the power ups they got in enies lobby all the time but Zoro, somewhere out there, knows how fuckin sick this attack is (bc yeah it’s ridiculous as hell but like I still enjoy it) and he just won’t do it again. not once post timeskip has he used it at all. Roronoa Zoro knows what he’s doing and he is out there, right now, laughing

- roronoa zoro is one of my top three favorite one piece characters and I make this list entirely out of love. (feel free to add on more moments I may have missed and i’ll add them)

[xiggy-stardust]

I can’t please anyone.

None of my friends follow this tumblr so I’m gonna dump my tea in this harbor

“hahaha nobody follows ur dumblr, xig-” SHUT the FUCK UP, ME. I KNOW thats YOU.

okok so over winter break I went shopping for myself because I didn’t get anything for christmas. I was in hot topic (Fuck you, they have some cool shit) and they had a thing where it was “Buy one hoodie and get another for just 10 bucks” so NATURALLY I made the cashier hold my $70 Twenty One Pilots hoodie while I looked for something cheaper to pay in full so I wouldn’t have to pay 70 bucks for a hoodie. I found this really cool Kingdom Hearts jacket for just 40 bucks.

One of my friends, let’s call them Wendy, LOVES KH to DEATH. I was becoming really good friends with her since I’ve only met her this school year (so I’ve known her since about august) and we became best friends really fast. We have more inside jokes than I can count, which I think is what really makes you best friends. Wendy and I have lunch together like every day after school and we sit and talk for hours about everything or sometimes nothing at all. The point is, we’re close.

I also have another friend, let’s call them Nina. Nina and I have been friends for longer than Wendy and I have been friends, since about sophomore year (and it’s senior year now). And Nina and Wendy have been friends since elementary school. So really, I’m the one late to the party. It was very clear very early on this year that Nina was getting jealous about how close Wendy and I have been getting despite us not knowing each other for very long. This reeked of petty high school drama, and me, being the only person in school not caught up in shit, refused to be dragged into something I had no intention of being a part of.

The thing about Nina though, is that she has hella insecurity issues and I’ve already sent her novels over text trying to convince her that she’s not a piece of shit. She thinks everybody hates her and she (very clearly) baits me and Wendy into pitying her. Every time I talk to her, it’s another thing she thinks everybody’s gonna hate her for. Every time. She never takes responsibility and uses those big puppy eyes to make me say that nothing is ever her fault just so she won’t go home and blow her brains out like I have nightmares of her doing. I’ve talked to her so much about the exact same topic matter that some days when she says “whatever I’m probably just annoying you” I kinda wanna say “yeah you are.” But I know for a fact she’ll go home and probably c*t her wr*sts or something. She never makes any efforts to improve herself. She wallows in her sadness and wants everyone to feel bad for her or wallow with her.

This is where Wendy is a breath of fresh air.

me, Nina, and Wendy are all relentlessly sad for mostly the same reasons, but they both have shitty parents whereas mine are. idek. Divorced but living together like they aren’t, it’s weird. I digress. We all deal with our sadness in different ways. I deal with mine by myself in my own time and only let it out in the form of ironic memes and self deprecating humor. You gotta really dig deep to get to me and I have to trust you a lot to let u know what’s really going on. But for me, you don’t get to know unless you ask. That’s how I avoid bringing down the people around me to awkward situations. Wendy acknowledges whats wrong with her and actively talks to me or other trusted friends to fix what’s wrong. She doesn’t want people to feel bad for her, she wants to be better and she doesn’t stew in her sadness because that’s bad for literally everyone.

Nina is the total opposite. We were just in the middle of UIL rehearsals today and WHILE I was highlighting and trying to memorize my lines, Nina grills me about the jacket I got Wendy for christmas when I didn’t get her anything. Wendy actually warned me she would ask so I gave her one of my printed photos earlier this morning. She said she felt left out, so naturally I lied and said I had it from the start, which I totally didn’t, and the only reason I didn’t give it to her before is because she was literally in another state stuck in a blizzard and when she came back, she was cut from the play we were in and we had to travel to perform the day she got back. So today was the only day I’ve actually seen her. So even if I DID get her something, she wouldn’t get it till today anyway. And I STILL got her something. She still tried to guilt trip me about how she felt “left out” and how she’s “forgotten” like I haven’t talked to her about it more times than I care to think about.

The thing is, Wendy is really easy to shop for. She likes KH, Overwatch, and cute anime things, and every store I shop at has a surplus of one of those things. I had a slight suspicion Nina would get jealous so I tried to find something for her,, but she has zero interests I can shop for. She likes Vinyl records, but no store in the nearest 100 miles sells vinyl. It’s not like she likes comic books or video games or stuffed animals or.. anything. I cannot shop for her. The original Idea was to go thrift shopping just the three of us, and I buy Nina anything she wants because I know she likes thrifted items and we’ve been wanting to go thrifting together for months. BUT Nina was out of the state and her parents wouldn’t tell her how long she’d be there so I couldn’t schedule anything when she got back. The blizzard she was stuck in would have fucked it up anyway but still. The idea is, it would have been impossible to get Nina what she wants. But I don’t think she sees that. She only saw that Wendy got a gift from me and she didn’t. Now might be a good time to point out that Wendy didn’t get anything for christmas because her family considers it a big waste of money (which it is, but Wendy has never experienced a single christmas in her life). So yeah naturally I’d want to get her something. Besides the jacket I got her, the only other thing Wendy got for christmas is a KH Funko pop from another friend. Thats it. So excuse me if I wanted to make this christmas a little bit more happy for her.

Besides the point, but just a side note, I didn’t get anything for christmas either. It’s not like I’m hard to shop for either, I like the same things Wendy likes (minus KH maybe) and I like flannels and beanies A LOT. And they’re stupid easy to find, especially in winter. But all I got was a heartfelt letter from another friend who is too sweet to be in this story. I got a letter and none of my other friends got me anything. Not Nina or Wendy. But I never not once complained about it while I saw all my friends give and give and give to other people. That’s why I went shopping for myself, so I couldn’t possibly want anything that anybody was giving except for love (cliche, barf, ik, whatever).

So yea it just kinda rubbed me the wrong way when Nina complained about not getting anything. EXcuse you. I should really be the one complaining, cuz I’m 40 bucks in the hole on a jacket I’ll never wear and Wendy’s only worn like once since I gave it to her. I didn’t get anything either, I actually lost here. Wendy’s got another jacket she’ll never wear, so that only seems like a plus to me and she didn’t get anybody anything, but only cuz she doesn’t have money and her parents won’t let her get a real job. And you haven’t gained or lost anything. If we really wanna be equal, let’s all get gifts for each other. Unless we all come out down and up 2 gifts, somebody’s got a right to complain, and if we look at who’s lost the most, it looks like it’s me. But I’m not going to because I don’t need a gift to validify my friendships. I gave to a friend who it looked like needed it the most out of pure goodwill. I don’t expect anything in return, and I think there’s a thing on the internet about how if you talk about how charitable you are, your charity is null and void, at least the intent of it is. But I don’t think that counts if the only people I’m talking about can’t read this. Maybe it does, but I gain and lose nothing anyway.

If I gave Nina something or Nina gave me something, Wendy wouldn’t care. If Nina gave Wendy something or Wendy gave Nina something, I wouldn’t care. So I really don’t see the big deal that I gave Wendy something. The only difference I see is that Nina is out of the loop, and she’s the only one who cares if she is.

Idk I could go on forever but I’d just regurgitate the point that Nina, you suck for trying to make me feel bad for doing a nice thing. Please. Fix yourself, because nobody else can.

[durindanna]

whats up i was reading the iliad for notes and the only reason im here instead of still reading it is because i read outside and gave myself a sunburn so im in ‘think about what youve done and write ur headcanon posts’ prison indoors. remember kids: sunscreen

anyways here is a post that im gonna add to as i read, which features an assortment of headcanons (are they headcanons if im taking the from the book itself?), asides, notes, etc. that i either find interesting or will apply to my interpretation of hektor since the story given in the iliad is, so far as the idea of a heroic spirit is concerned, hektor’s canonical past. its mostly notes to self but you can read it if ur interested i guess? anyways here we go

Homer writes from the side of the Greeks, so though he does give the Trojans their due, he certainly goes out of his way to emphasize that the Trojans have much less super cool kickass dudes than the Aechaians. In fact-- Hektor is pretty much the only person on the side of Troy that’s worth note, and most others of note are his relatives or friends, who... then usually die or aren’t in a battling role. (Thus far anyways.) But the Greeks to acknowledge him as kickass and The Problem To Be Worried About-- "How we could admire Hector, my friends, and call him hero and champion! There is always some god beside him to keep him safe. See there is Ares now!" (Ares is a stupid shit but it’s Hektor he chooses on the side of Troy, and diomedes of the Aechaians respects that) and "Everyone dreads Hector Priamedes. Even Achilles shudders to meet this man in battle." which was.... i forget who said that whatever. tl;dr in this house we respect hektor even if we are also trying to kill him. he’s certainly a prideful man and he does know that things are/were like this, though since he died for pride he tries to keep this mindset downplayed as a heroic spirit.

When the gods vowed a day of battle between Achaia and Troy with absolutely no divine intervention, there was sincere concern from both gods and Greeks that the entire Aechaian side would be driven back by Hektor’s charge.

he is not bullshitting as a Servant when he says that he is crazy good at defending things. he is not bullshitting you at all. hes a treasure and i love him too bad hes also stupid sometimes

In terms of gods Hektor is obliged to worship, he holds preference for Zeus and would still like to return to Athena’s good graces even if she did screw Troy over. With his proclivity to keep his old habits, Hektor will still make burnt offerings if he cooks something himself, not of entire livestock but of the best piece of whatever it is he cooks. Prayer is uncommon but not unheard of from him.

Hektor loves his family so much i have depression. The thing that worries him most is knowing that if the war is lost his wife will be captured and mistreated alone, not the city burning His family is also enormous, while he himself only has a wife and child he has quite a lot of siblings and siblings-in-law. (Out of all of those, he is the leader and presumably the one to ascend to kingship if Priam died.) "'Hector' means the same as the word for lord and king" my prINCE...a noble fate

He loves paris but is also like ‘GOD youre a stupid idiot and this is all your fault i really wouldnt be that sad if u died. Fuckin get out and fight at least’. paris is a weenie though so thats a valid thought. Honestly Paris is the only person thus far on the side of Troy who has received any of Hektor’s open irritation. Really, it’s a situation Hektor would rather not have ever entered...

"Destiny is a thing no man can escape.... war shall be men's business, and mine especially of all those who are in Ilios." Fatalism? What’s the word I forget.

There remains a scar on the side of his neck in his heroic spirit body as a result of the fight with Ajax. Generally, it’s well hidden underneath his collar.

hektor is really fucking bad at naming animals, in my own sincere opinion, since apparently all his horses are just named by what colour markings they have. get creative u fucker. this dude would probably name a dog Brown if nobody stopped him.

an entirely unstoppable lunatic once he decides he’s gonna do something

“like a shining star of doom, which flashes out of a cloud and back into darkness, his armour flashed like the lightning of zeus almighty” [...] “here is ruin, hector himself” god i love me some natural phenomenon allusions,,,,bless

also he tends to migrate thru the ranks, re he isnt always at the front hes just. wherever he needs to be and finds it fairly easy to establish his place in the army