#actually forget the trigger warnings they're in the fic

[nerves-nebula]

you ever wanted to read a second person perspective fic about Splinter being an awful menace and a bastard? no? well that doesn't really matter cuz i made it anyway

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Mission Control 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, violence, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Captain Hydra

Summary: a man marches into your life on a mission

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

That day, the bus is mostly empty. It's only you, an eldery couple, and the driver. The ebb and flow of traffic slows the wheels as the driver passes by vacant stops. You watch the pavement roll by between patches of grass. 

The dulcet ride lures you into a calm even as your pre-work nerves buzz. You hug your bag in your lap as the driver stops and the doors open to let in another passenger. The axel squeals as the vehicular behemoth pulls away from the curb. 

You continue to watch the city as the new rider strides between the seats. You sense their shadow loom closer and closer. You expect them to claim the empty seat across from yours. Instead, the sit right next to you. It's an odd choice given the few passengers aboard. 

You fidget and make yourself smaller. You turn your head straight as you try to see the stranger from the edge of your vision. They're big. Broad enough that their arm presses to yours even as you try to shrink into yourself. Tall too, his knees against the row in front of you. 

He sits rigidly beside you. Uneasy at his proximity, you fish into your side pocket and slide free your phone. You open it aimlessly, tapping habitually on the crossword app you play at work in the low times. 

The solutions elude you as your mind can't detach from the man crowding you into the window. Why can't he sit anywhere else? You look around at the unclaimed seats. He stays as he is, stiff, straight, unmoving. 

You close out of the came and lock your phone. You clasp your hand around the device as you hug your bag once more. Your other hand toys with the little pom pom that hangs from your zipper. 

The bright bus signs pass by. You're stop is coming up. Now is the awkward part. Getting the man to let you out. 

You pull the cord to signal your intent but he's already on his feet. You glance over and thank him softly, a brief glimpse at his face. A scar ripples from his hairline, through his temple and angles down his cheek to his jaw. His eyes are a bold blue and his nose finely cut despite the large blemish.  

He stands back as you grab your bag and sidle out. You go to the doors. He follows. 

Huh? 

He grips the yellow bar behind you, his large hand gripping as if he might crush the metal. You stare at his knuckles and the bus jerks to a stop. You nearly fall off your feet. The man catches you by your hip with his free hand. 

You set your feet and cough out another thanks. Embarrassed, you slap the doors and they open. You scurry off and the men once more trails after you. As you veer towards the mall, he waits until the bus takes off and crosses the street. With him, your suspicious leaves. 

You're frazzled as you enter work. You don't know why. You just... are. Something about that man sticks with you. Even if he never said a word, it felt like he was trying to tell you something. 

You clock in and try to shake it off. His face flashes in your mind. You can't place what seems so familiar about him. You would remember if you met him before. How could you forget? 

You go to the counter as Layton talks with a customer about the new seasonal blends. The tea shop has its peak times, especially as winter approaches, but it's one o clock on a Tuesday and that's never very busy anywhere. 

You greet the next customers. Two girls interested in the cold brew pots. You show them what you have and explain the store's points card. The buy a sampler and nothing else. Typical. 

Layton finishes at four. The traffic picks up once he's gone. You don't mind as it keeps the time moving. It peters out as the dinnertime rush fills the food court. You can hear the crowd from around the corner. 

You set to wiping down the counter and putting away the few stray canisters left out. As you turn back, you have to swallow down a shriek. You didn't hear the man over the mall's top hits playlist. 

You hesitate as your eyes meet. It's him. The man from the bus. You blink and press your lips together. 

"Hello, uh, how are you today?" You ask.  

He just stares. No answer. No sign he even heard you. 

He's in all black. Boots, jeans, cargo jacket. He stands like a soldier. You part your lips again, "are you looking for anything in particular? Today we have our apple crisp chai as the sample." 

He still doesn't react. Not more than his eyes falling to the nervous twiddle of your fingers on the counter. Your scalp prickles and your nape burns. If he keeps this up, you'll have to phone security. 

He raises his hand to reveal a familiar object. It's the fluffy pom pom from your bag. Your brows pop up, "oh? Thanks. It must have fallen off." 

You reach for it and your mind races. As nice as it is to return the key chain, you can't help but wonder. How did he know where to find you?

As you grasp the soft ball, his other hand comes up and snares your wrist. Your squeak and try to pull back. You're stuck in his grip.  

Your eyes round and flick up to meet his. His gaze bores into you and at last, his stony expression cracks. He smirks, the scar on the side of his face paling as the lines around his eyes deepen. He releases the keychain and grabs a fistful of your hair. 

"Ow!" You squeal and yank again.  

He rips your hair out at the roots and you exclaim again. Hets go of your arm and you hit the shelves behind you. He nods and spins on his heel, clutching the handful of your hair.  

You whimper and rub your head as your scalp burns. Your eyes water and your lip trembles. You just gape at the door. What just happened? 

[momo-minomo]

Fic Fairy Friday: Civilian Tim Giving The Batfam Heart Attacks

I know, I know, this week's theme is weirdly specific but I was originally going to theme this 'Tim Joins The Batfamily Early' but like half of the ones I wanted to rec has him joining them late but fit the vibes I wanted so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BTW: Consider this a general TRIGGER WARNING. Jack and Janet Drake in the comics are, at best, neglectful parents and at worst vaguely emotionally abusive and physically threatening but no actual physical abuse. If the fic makes them more abusive than this canon baseline I will add a trigger warning. Feel free to let me know if you think I need to add an extra warning for something!

The Fic Fairy Friday Masterpost

Puzzles Made of Broken Glass by thatcuriouscat

Summary:

Sherlock Holmes retreats to his Mind Palace to think, to problem-solve. Superman has his Fortress of Solitude, reportedly. 9-and-five-sixths-year-old Tim Drake has his Blanket Fortress. Timmy Drake’s parents go missing. He’s the only one who notices.

Momo's Notes: I usually prefer to only rec fics that are complete but I occasionally make an exception for one that's exceptionally good and still regularly updating. thatcuriouscat is one of those authors that knocks it out of the park every single time and the characterizations are perfection so this fic is a must read. Tim's parents go missing so Detective Drake starts investigating even as his entire life, precarious emotional stability, and distressing lack of self-preservation is crumbling down around his ears. I love fics where Tim and Robin!Jason meet and become friends and the chapter where Tim and Dick meet had me squealing and kicking my feet.

One Smart Magpie by Marbles_and_Sweetpeas

Summary:

Tim Drake likes to think he's your typical 12 year old. Well, except for the sneaking around at night and doing detective work. And figuring out the Bats' identity. But that's it. Really. Except everything seems to be spiraling out of his control. Something serious is going on in Gotham, and Tim might be the only one who can put all the pieces together in time to stop it. Or: Tim is a crazy little detective who just wants to help in any way he can. Of course the Bats are going to adopt him.

Momo's Notes: Another fic for baby detective Timmy and joining the batfamily early! Tim is wandering around Gotham at night knowing the usual secrets he shouldn't know but also running his own investigations. He's trying to figure out the mysterious happenings in the city at the same time Jason, Dick, and Bruce are aggressively trying to adopt this sweet kid with zero self-preservation instincts or supervision. Timmy is seriously badass during this one while still being a kid overwhelmed with being in way over his head.

Holy security breach, Batman! by destiny919

Summary:

Janet finally shoos him away towards the hors d'oeuvres or drinks table with the tacit understanding that she doesn't want to see him again until the end of the gala. And probably not even then, it wouldn't be the first time the Drakes forgot to take him home with them and Tim had to discreetly call an Uber before the host noticed and made Tim embarrass his parents. For this gala, however, he almost hopes they forget him again, because tonight Tim has a plan. They're at Wayne Manor, and Tim is going to find the Batcave.

Momo's Notes: Short and sweet! Precocious 8 year old Tim decides to put his detective hat on while at a Wayne gala and manages to find and sneak into the batcave. Cue the distressed bat and bird noises!

A Brief Interview by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday

Summary:

When Damian finds a small child with an expensive camera on a rooftop in the middle of Gotham, he decides to follow in his father’s footsteps and take the boy home. After all, why should Bruce be the only one who gets to add to the family? Damian and Tim age swap fluff.

Momo's Notes: Short but hilarious. A version of a "Tim Joins The Batfamily Late" trope where he's the 8 year old fanboy to Damian's 14 year old Robin. Damian decides he's had enough of being the baby of the family and proves he's his father's son by picking up a new little brother while on patrol and bringing him home with no warning to the rest of the household. The others will surely marvel at his generosity and brilliance. Tim is mildly alarmed but mostly starstruck.

Boom, Boom, Pow! by LilaVaporizer9000

Summary:

If anyone asked the Batfamily which Robin had the funniest ’joining the family’ story? Well, everyone would start with, “Well it seemed like Jason had the spot taken for good after having the audacity to try and jack the Batmobile’s tires and hit Bruce with his tire iron.” And then they’d say, “But then tiny Tim decided to try and steal the whole thing.” Or: When Tim is 11 he figures it’s not hurting anyone if he. Ya know. Takes a picture in the Batmobile. But then the power goes to his head and all of a sudden he’s hacking the Batmobile and tearing through Gotham on a rescue mission.

Momo's Notes: Gearhead baby Timmy takes the Batmobile on a joyride and the Batfamily was never the same. Dick and Jason's budding rivalry has delightful Wayne Family Adventures vibes. If you've read WFA you'll know the chapter I'm referring to when you get to those scenes lol. They are such total goobers. Bonus points for the author including a link to a playlist they made for Tim's cringe car music. I love it when authors include a fanmix for the story.

bitty batty baby vigilante crew by deargalileo

Summary:

There were two kids up on the roof. They couldn’t have been older than ten, but frankly, they looked like babies. The boy had dark hair and a red jacket, while the girl was dressed in all purple with blond hair poking out from under her hood. Jason was pushing himself over the ledge before he could really think about it. What were two kids doing on a rooftop, in the middle of the night, in Gotham? the story of two kids conning their way across gotham, and (mostly) inadvertently into the batman family.

Momo's Notes: There aren't nearly enough stories of tiny Timmy meeting Stephanie early. The chaos and shenanigans those two get up to as teens are legendary. I don't know if Jason's nerves can handle them as kids with WAY more recklessness and distrust of authority.

Surveillance by smilebackwards

Summary:

Tim knows antagonizing Lex Luthor wasn’t exactly his safest move but the point is really driven home by the bullet to the shoulder. Or: The AU where Jason never died and Tim is a civilian who contributes to crime fighting by taking surveillance photos and leaving them on the desktop of the Batcomputer.

Momo's Notes: Here's an awesome 'Tim Joins The Batfamily Late' trope fic! His casual disdain for dangerous rogues who'd happily squash him like a bug combined with his careless disregard for his own health make for an especially stressed Batfam, especially Bruce and Jason. This one is actually part of a series and has TimKon! Score!

Northern Attitude (I Was Raised on Little Light) by theskeptileptic

Summary:

It's not Tim's fault Batman slept with his mom sixteen years ago, or Tim's fault that Bruce Wayne regrets signing away his parental rights fifteen years ago, but Jack Drake sure thinks it is. Now Damian is bugging him about cows and family and Jason and Dick won't stop kidnapping him and Bruce is acting like court orders don't matter, like he doesn't have a huge bat-shaped secret to protect from literally the whole freaking world. Why is Tim the only functioning adult in this situation? This was supposed to be coated in angst, but it fell in the fluff bucket instead. (So, update, some people are saying this may not be as fluffy as I am advertising it. I plead the 5th.)

Momo's Notes: TRIGGER WARNING for incredibly abusive Drakes here. That "fluff bucket" claim in the summary is definitely false advertising. This story is really good tho with some quality Tim and Damian bonding! The number of stress and panic induced heart attacks Tim gives the Batfam in this one is truly off the charts lol.

cards on the table by wesslan

Summary:

Tim's parents faked their deaths and fled the country years ago, but neglected to take him with them. He spent some time on the streets, and now at 16, he makes a living as a fortune teller, stalking and hustling the shit out of Gotham's elite by telling them eerily accurate fortunes based on the information he gathers about them. His life is peculiar but he wouldn't change a thing. When he gets booked for the big Wayne Halloween party, however, he finds himself getting all tangled up with the Waynes, and the more fortunes he tells, the tighter the snare becomes. or: Tim just wanted to scam Gotham's elite, not end up on the Batfamily's watchlist. But it seems they just won't leave him alone..

Momo's Notes: Another 'Tim Joins The Batfamily Late' fic! Despite Young Justice not appearing at all in this fic it still gives me the YJ98 vibes with all the insane plans and shenanigans Tim has up in the air, here. He's stalking half of Gotham's rich, famous, and dangerous so he can scam them all into thinking he's a legit psychic.

Latchkey by goldkirk

Summary:

or, How Tim Drake Found A Family, Became A Photojournalist, Learned To Love Coffee, and Grew Up, not necessarily in that order. Tim Drake is thirteen, runs the famous BatWatch blog that has spiraled hilariously out of control, has absentee parents that suit his purposes just fine, is training himself to run the streets at night, and is doing absolutely peachy, thank you. Alfred and Jason disagree, and get Dick and Bruce involved in figuring out their weird nextdoor neighbor kid’s life. Everything goes uphill from there.

Settle Our Bones by motleyfam, justbeyondstars, batmoniker

Summary:

Tim is good at galas. No, scratch that—Tim is great at galas. He’s been attending them ever since the age of three, when his parents first stuffed him into his little Gymboree tuxedo and gave him a stern lecture about ‘sitting quietly’ and ‘speaking when spoken to.’ He knows all the rules: what to wear, how to stand, when to smile, what to say, what not to say. He knows how to come across as polite and intelligent and charming, and on absolutely any other day, he would be rocking this. --- Or, my take on a ‘Tim Joins the Family Early’ AU, told through a series of sleepovers, most of which are unplanned. Featuring pre-teen Tim, Alive!Jason, and a whole lot of hurt/comfort.

Momo's Notes: The chances you haven't already read Latchkey and Settle Our Bones is slim if you're a Tim Drake fan but they are classics within the 'Tim Drake Joins The Batfamily Early' trope for a damn good reason so I had to include them on the off chance someone hasn't run across these amazing fics yet! TRIGGER WARNINGS for abusive Drakes! Also both of these series do a great job of depicting trauma recovery but that can also be triggering for some people so be careful.

PLAYLIST

Tim Drake Joins the Batfamily Early AU Spotify Playlist

[howdoesagrapewrites]

You should do one where reader just wants to spend time alone by themselves(whether it be the afternoon or morning) but hobie and pavitr won’t let them

𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙨

Cw: reader x lovesick!Hobie Brown x lovesick!Pavitr Prabhakar, overlooking toxic behavior, touching with dubious consent, oblivious reader, anxious attachment (Pavitr), suggestive, aged-up characters, reader's gender neutral but it is kinda fem aligned, reader knows about the multiverse but it's not clarified if they're a spider person, I already warned this but just want to say that just because the toxic behavior here isn't portrayed as negatively as my others fics doesn't mean I condone it.

Notes: while I was writing the first paragraph I was like "damn I should do this too" and started deep cleaning around my house. This triggered an episode and that's the reason I haven't been posting as much, I was cleaning. I'm actually on a break from cleaning /srs

You prepared everything to have some alone time this afternoon, you cooked your favorite meal, did an everything shower with your favorite products, you cleaned up everything yesterday so you didn't have to do anything today, and after putting on comfy pajamas, you sat on the couch with snacks and a face mask to watch a comfort show.

It was halfway through the fourth episode when you heard noise coming from your room, and see your boyfriends appearing into your living room, even though you told them you wanted to be alone today. You try and give them the benefit of the doubt, and imagine maybe the mission today was extra rough and they needed comfort, or they forgot about your petition, Pavitr had university, being spiderman, reporting to the spider society, Hobie was, well, trying to bash the president's head with a guitar plus the spider society stuff, so yeah, they had busy lives.

"Hello there, looking lovely" Hobie chuckled with his hands on his pockets, probably laughing at your face mask, Pavitr came in for a hug, you accepted, "ohh, self care day? Do you have any extra masks, I can buy us snacks? Wait- mumbattan currency doesn't work here, I forgot, anyways, is there any room left for us?" You moved quietly and smiled to let your boyfriends sit beside you.

It's not like you want them to go, but they do take too much space. Talking about the couch, of course... And maybe about your life a little bit, you loved them, but when you started your long distance relationship (between universes) you thought you'd have just a tad more time to yourself.

You can't concentrate in the show quite as well, thinking about what could make them forget about your you-day and still want to come, why did they always forget? They both seem to have pretty good memory, the zone off for a minutes, fortunately for you, it's the fifth time you watch this episode. Your phone rings and before you can grab it, Hobie picks it up, notices is not a call and hands it to you, it's the timer for your face mask, how kind of him to even set off the alarm to you since it's your day off.

You take the sticky sheet off your face and massage the serum into your skin as you start to walk to the living room, wanting to scratch the itch and address the subject you've had in your mind, you decide to soft launch it.

"Did any of you, read the chat yesterday?"

"Yes, I always do, Hobie does too, why?" Pavitr lies on Hobie's chest and mindlessly scroll through his phone while he answers you

"Then maybe you forgot that today I kinda wanted to be alone, you know, me-time? You also forgot last week, and the week before that..."

Hobie spoke "Sorry 'bout that, 'have bad memory, a flaw of mine, we can leave if we're a bother" it saddened you he saw himself as a bother, he just forgot, we all make mistakes

"Oh, I didn't forget, I just don't want to leave you alone" Pavitr responded with normality, he didn't like having Hobie speak for him, he regularly contradicted him in stuff like this. Hobie laughs and pata his shoulder, he laughed like a joke, so then it was probably a joke, even though you three were dating, they had their own things, so this must be one of them.

You sat down, you were on the right arm of the couch, and Hobie was in the left one, Pavitr was between you both, he didn't seem at all displeased.

You laughed at the show a few times, and a couple minutes in, you feel Pav's hair ticking you, he's sniffing around your neck.

"You smell good, like your regular scent but better, did you tried the body wash I gave you?" You nod and smile at his sweet antics "And your skin, you look radiant, jaanu" he kisses you cheek, then makes a face, scrunching up his nose at the taste, you giggle. "It's supposed to be good for my skin, not be tasty" you say in airy laugh, he pouts, "But I wanted to kiss you", "my lips have no serum" he looks like a kid on Christmas morning and puts dives right into your lips, you expect a quick kiss before going back to your binge-watching (that you'd been looking forward to all week) but he crashes his lips into yours with need, you try to pull away two times before patting his shoulder, Hobie sees this, and now manspreading on the coffee table instead of the couch, he grabs Pavitr's hair and lightly pulls, "give 'em a break, sweetheart" he obediently looks at him, dilated pupils and breath hitched, Hobie's hands traveled to Pavitr's cheek and he nuzzled on it like a cat, "We don't want them to pass out, now, do we?" Hobie's tone is firm, but still has that certain rogueness he always speaks with. Even though Pavitr's mouth isn't on you, he's still mostly on top of you, and his hands don't stop wandering in your sides, pinching playfully at the fat, kneading on your waist, you really wishes you could keep watching your show and then read the book you always say you should read, or organize that messy shelf that keeps stressing you out, but hey, is not like you dislike this, right? "You won't-?" Pavitr asks in a whisper, when Hobie takes his fingers off his mouth "I'll watch for now" his smile makes you bite your lip in excitement, it seems to have a similar effect on Pavitr, who grips your waist harder, and slowly goes to grab your hips, "Keep going?" Hobie asks, deep black eyes set on yours, it makes you flustered. He's asking for consent, he's very nice, and Pavitr did have your consent earlier, it's just he was a little... Excited, it's okay, because he's nice.

You have two very nice boyfriends, even though they're forgetful.

[qoldenskies]

I cannot for the life of me read your fic but I am??? So eager to know what's going on???? I just. Emotions when reading are. Hard.

Is there anywhere I can read the plot, like, summarized?

there is not because its not something i ever expected to become a real actual au, so ive had no reason to make an overview for it or anything + i think there's no way of adequately summarizing it, but i'll give the best overview i can. not a replacement for the actual experience of reading the fic, but i shall do my best o7

im only going to summarize caged lungs because it is the MOST distressing of the three, and the one people cite being unable to read the most (there is some pretty intense angst in miner's eulogy and clipped wings, but its also combined with hurt/comfort that makes up for it. cw can get harsh but there's a lot of caretaking <3)

(quite obviously, trigger warnings for really extreme physical and psychological abuse, gaslighting, solitary isolation, self-harm, a suicide attempt, and attempted murder)

okay so ESSENTIALLY

[if an outsider is seeing this 'cause i'll reluctantly maintag it, read the fic here. the main plot is over, it's just waiting on an epilogue that's all fluff!]

caged lungs is a boiling frog of a narrative-- the crux of it all is that from the beginning to the end, donnie does not know his brothers are cursed. it begins with them going to get pizza, where he's recognized by a witch in a bathroom. she doesn't say anything, he doesn't recognize her back, he dismisses it. he goes home, has a movie night with his family (it is established that splinter has been leaving the lair more and more, socializing to combat depression) and falls asleep cuddling in the armchair.

when he wakes up, he's alone in the dark.

his family is eating with breakfast without him. their behavior is uncanny, but easy to dismiss-- things start to change from there. donnie seems to start "missing" his tools, mikey is acting strange, raph rejects donnie when he surprises him with some changes on his weight rack that he would have liked otherwise. they "forget" him for a movie and apologize, and donnie tells them that it's okay.

this is pre BN:NY. witch town is very fresh in his head, and he's learned from things like this and the whole drone race experience with shelldon-- donnie is making an active effort to change himself. he wants to be more receptive and communicative, so he's putting aside a lot of his own usual bite in favor of being "more open". this is the absolute worst time that he could have put focus on this, unfortunately.

he puts a cloaking device on the turtle tank (combined with mystics, since witch town, he's very proud of it), and in an attempt to present it to mikey when he needs to go somewhere, leo offers to take mikey with his portals instead and dismisses the tank by calling it a "useless piece of shit", barbed and joking. he tells him to take the L and donnie shies back, offended but afraid to express it.

right after he is given another opportunity to present it, when they're going on a mission to stop hypno from robbing a bank, but they shut him down, asking him if he's tested it, kind of needling him about the fact that his things break a lot, generally just undermining him, etc. they cut him off when they get there. notably in this fight hypno manages to attempt to mind control leo and gets kickback because there's a whole different spell on him. there's also a note that leo's mysteriously switched his dominant hand.

donnie twisted his ankle in the fight, and he asks leo to look at it. leo says no-- donnie can handle it himself. (note that donnie taught leo medicine, so this is technically correct, but it is heavily implied that leo's prior insistence about seeing his injuries comes from a fear of donnie keeping things from him on a more general level lmao)

some other things happen etc etc, but the first breaking point of many comes a little later when they're having an argument and donnie brings up the whole useless piece of shit comment. leo tells him he doesn't know what he's talking about, and tells him he's just making shit up like he always does. he expresses genuine anger and distaste before storming off.

donnie is guilty and distraught. he talks to shelldon for a bit, even googles how to apologize (he doesn't even know what he did wrong), and then goes to leo with very little confidence. he attempts to apologize and leo shuts him down, and tells him he doesn't really believe he'll actually change. donnie pushes, becoming more and more desperate, and leo finally snaps and screams at him to shut the fuck up. donnie is terrified and trembling-- leo yells at him to leave. donnie runs.

its finally what gets him to go to splinter, because he has noticed the change in behavior-- he thinks it's his fault. he had to have done something that upset them, somehow-- splinter says the absolute worst thing he could in that situation, saying that donnie shouldn't be dragging him into his fights and spinning stories, citing past instances of him overreacting to more mundane things. all things that would be somewhat reasonable if there WAS no curse, and he has no reason to suspect malice. donnie eventually breaks down and crawls into his lap, and splinter gently reassures him that they're never upset with him for no reason. it'll all blow over soon.

donnie never goes to splinter again.

afterwards leo "apologizes" through text (there is no actual "im sorry" there to speak of) and donnie tells him he's not mad, he understands, it was his fault. leo agrees very dismissively, thanking him for agreeing not to tell mikey.

things get worse from there-- he fails to catch mikey in a fight and he falls into the ocean (he dives after him and swims him out, though), and raph chews him out very harshly in front of the other two while they stifle laughter behind them. donnie notices missing footage on his cameras and is so terrified he pukes, and when he goes to the medbay leo tells him he's just going crazy. at one point leo pours a protein shake down his hoodie just to get a reaction, laughing at him and telling him it's just a joke when he cries and melts down.

raph eventually just completely benches him, saying that he's not trustworthy on the field-- he cites his failure on the docks in the fight against shredder, despite that being an extremely triggering topic. donnie bites his tongue, and goes back to where he's useful-- his lab. shelldon is pretty much his only supporter in all the chaos, helping him with his missing tools. donnie genuinely does feel like he's going crazy with how forgetful he seems to be getting lately.

pretty much all he does from this point is work. none of them want him there, and he cant do anything but accept that. he misses meals, pretty much only sleeps and works, and they barely talk to him at all.

mikey comes to his door (he has a door, not a curtain-- its explained in cw that its because there was a lot of shuffling after donnie got duped in lair games, so his room set up is different, but its relevant so i feel the need to specify here) and asks him if he wants to eat something, because he HAS noticed donnie skipping meals. donnie follows him, happy just to be appreciated, only to learn that it was a set up.

they lock him in the storage closet by the kitchen, giving him "time to think about it". donnie is terrified, and when raph walks by he begs and pleads for him to let him out, only for raph to kick the door and continue walking by without a single word. they visit him a few hours later, and decide to leave him there for three more hours, and donnie is so distressed he just screams and doesn't really stop.

it doesn't help that they're lying. it was not three hours-- it was much, much longer than that. donnie feels like he's suffocating, terrified that he's going to be left in there to die, and when leo and mikey come to get him he finally, finally lashes out, shoving mikey away from him when he tries to touch him. he runs to his lab- raph runs after him and they get into an argument. shelldon wakes up from where he's charging, realizes something's wrong and tries to help, and raph breaks him (his ai chip is intact, but he's gone for the rest of the fic, donnie doesn't feel safe enough to rebuild him). donnie completely checks out, raph grabs him by the wrist and then stops when he notices how upset he is, the little bits of him left poking through. he tells him they'll talk about it later, all of his bad behavior.

later comes two days later in the form of a "family meeting". they drag him out of bed (he hasn't left it once) and pull him into the tv room where they just berate him, going after every little thing they possibly can to make fun of him for, while he's just standing there doubled over, crying and begging for them to stop-- leo even tells him to kill himself. raph breaks it up and tells donnie to step up and be useful. donnie takes this extremely seriously.

he's desperate to earn back their love and attention, so he doesn't protest when leo comes into his lab asking for help. he hangs over his shoulder while he works on fixing his phone, but donnie's so nervous he cant, and when he tries to beg leo to understand he's trying and that he loves him, leo strikes him.

it starts a chain reaction, and they're all regularly striking him, now. he does finally end up presenting something to raph-- something raph suggested he make way back before the closet, and raph denies him and turns him down. they all heckle him and tell him his tech is useless.

it's what completely destroys donnie's will to keep trying. he goes on a rooftop and he's so close to jumping, before april calls him, saying that they were asking her where he was and etc, and she gets the vibe that something is off and says that he can come over in a week to help with a coding project, and that he should go home-- donnie agrees, driven to tears by her kindness, and he obliges. when he comes back to his room, it's completely torn apart by his brothers, and his door locks from the outside.

he completely checks out from that point on. he sleeps on the laundry room floor and starts leaving the lair because he doesn't feel safe in his own home anymore, walking around aimlessly-- there's one encounter he has with his family, where they beat the shit out of him, but otherwise it's nothing. raph eventually corners him about his disappearance and chases him to the bathroom, pounding on the door and FURIOUSLY demanding donnie let him in.

it's the thing that makes him realize oh, they're going to kill me if i stay. he runs to april's a little early and she gives him sanctuary, for that night and one morning only-- inevitably his family call her asking where he is, and when she asks donnie freaks out on her. april realizes something is wrong and he's been so beaten down and traumatized he can only see her anger as something that means danger for him, so he runs.

his feet take him back to the lair. he curls up on the laundry room floor, hollowed out and broken. leo discovers him there an unknown amount of time later, kicking him hard enough to break his ribs when he doesn't respond to his call (due to dissociation) and then dragging him to the others.

raph tells him they're kicking him out, disowns him and calls him a danger to his family. donnie begs for them to let him stay, but raph only has to take one step forward for him to start crying and pleading for raph not to hurt him, that he'll do anything he wants. raph grabs his wrist and squeezes so hard that it breaks, which is finally what shuts him up </3

leo says they're doing this the hard way, then. raph smacks donnie to the floor, and leo gives him their terms-- he has two minutes to get his things before they come after him, if he's really that desperate. donnie takes off running, and mikey and leo give chase-- he ends up pinning mikey to the floor with his battle shell, and he runs to the TV room in hopes for splinter to protect him, but leo slams him to the floor and tells him that he's out for the night. he runs his blade through donnie's shoulder and is about to slit his throat, when donnie's driven by a surge of hysterical strength and he manages to throw leo down to the floor, giving him a concussion. he runs for his lab to get shelldon's ai chip-- leo calls for raph.

in the middle of desperately trying to grab his things, raph corners him there, and the confrontation that ensues is uhhhhh violent! extremely so. it ends with raph's hands around donnie's throat, donnie on the verge of death-- and that's the point where he decides that raph is right, they were always right. he's never been a part of their family. he deserves this.

his ninpo breaks. the stipulation of the curse was that it always end in donnie's death, so this manages to trick it-- raph snaps out of it, horrified by what he's done, and calls donnie's name in a panic as he finally passes out, unaware there was ever a curse in the first place, assuming he wont wake up.

his brothers remember every second of it :) and miner's eulogy picks up with leo's perspective of the aftermath, roughly a few days later!

[toon-tales]

Hiya! Have a Branch sick fic featuring Brozone AND Kismet cause I'm bored

Enjoy!

Btw, tell me if you have any comments, I gladly accept and welcome criticism

The battling brothers

Branch may be sick, but he knew darn well the competition going on between his eight, biological and adoptive, older brothers.

He knew both groups loved him, he loved them too. Both of them. But now, as he lay sick and weak in his bed, he was starting to question whether it was a good idea to let Kismet know he was sick. It was Poppy's idea in the first place, something about all of them bonding or whatever.

"Can I have some water, please?"

"Sure, baby brother." John and Ablaze glared at each other.

"He was talking to me," the cyan troll hissed.

"As if," the other muttered. "He was clearly asking me."

Branch groaned, bracing himself for another round of bickering. "Not again…"

But his voice was drowned out by his brothers' as an argument broke out between them, again, each taking a side and spitting at the other. This wasn't the first time this has happened, and Branch was used to it by now, though it still triggered a minor panic attack whenever it did. He just wanted everyone to get along, was that too much to ask? Maybe. He was getting tired of having to cancel a hangout with a band just to make it up to the other, he was tired of the constant fighting, which often ended with them forgetting his needs.

He. Was. Sick.

"He's my baby brother!"

"He's our baby brother, actually!"

He tried to diffuse the tension. "I love both of you-"

"Stay out of this, Branch," Hype shot, willingly ignoring how stern it came out.

Floyd eyed him. "Hey! Don't talk to my brother like that!"

"Yeah, dude, he's sick," Clay stood by his brother.

"And now you suddenly care?!" Branch winced. This wasn't going to end well.

"Of course we care!"

"Twenty years too late!"

Twenty years too late. Branch had been trying to forget about that. Why did they have to reopen his wounds when he had finally almost stitched them. Don't talk like that, he forced himself. They didn't mean it, they would never hurt him. In and out through your nose, he thought, just like we practiced. But he could feel the harsh words spreading through the room, words of accusations going back and forth between the two groups, Kismet usually throwing them first.

"We were young and foolish, alright? Is that what you want to hear?"

"We want you out of-"

"Enough!"

Silence arrived just in time. No one should know what the next words were.

The purple troll glared at Hype, giving him a warning glare before turning to the youngest. "Branch, you have to choose."

Branch's eyes widened. "What do you mean-?"

"You know what I mean, Branch."

"None of us can keep going on like this," the leader of the blood brothers chimed. "It's either us, or them."

Trickee smirked. "That won't be so hard, right, baby bro?"

But his adopted brother stayed silent, eyes darting between his and the others' set.

"Branch?" He smiled nervously, reaching out to hold Branch's hand. But Hype put a hand in front of him.

"I see how it is."

The sick troll pushed himself up, blinking as the room spun around him for a second. "Wait, no-"

"You really choose them over us?"

"That's not– please-"

"Come on, guys. Let's get outta here." A beat. "But don't come crying to us if they leave you again." And with that, the room was filled with heavy silence as Hype and his group walked out, leaving Brozone to try and keep Branch in bed.

"B, they'll be back in five minutes." Bruce scoffed. "They're just making a scene."

Branch wasn't even listening, not making a single attempt in resistance as his brothers finally tucked him in his bed.

"Now, we'll stay with you tonight-"

"I wanna be alone…" It was his turn to interrupt.

"What? We're not leaving you-"

"Please…" he begged, swallowing hard as he tried to think of what to do next, and a thought, one he had been trying to bury, was telling him he shouldn't have gotten so attached. It was his fault.

He knew this was going to happen sooner or later, the way the two groups never stayed near each other, with John, Bruce, Clay, and Floyd sleeping in Rhonda, and Hype, Ablaze, Boom, and Trickee sleeping in his room, each wrapped in his sleeping bag till the next morning. And the cycle had been repeating itself - he would ask for something, a member of each group would fight over who would get it for him, and by the time they were done, he would already be fast asleep. But this time, it had taken an unexpected turn, one he wasn't prepared for.

Which was the main reason he was now making his way to the kitchen in the middle of the night. He needed to get his mind off things, and maybe he was a bit hungry. His brothers? Absolutely not. They'll rub it in the other group's faces in the morning, and Branch wasn't in the best state to intervene this time.

He stumbled out of bed, almost falling face first onto Boom– Boom wasn't there. Hallucinating as well, add that to the list. Deep breaths. One foot in front of the other. How hard can this be? The sick troll mumbled under his breath, not sure whether he was assuring himself or trying to follow the rules to keep his balance, but either way, he was in the kitchen– he was in the kitchen? He must be more tired than he thought, but definitely not more than how hungry he felt.

But he did it. He was in the kitchen, and he didn't even know when he had put the water to boil, nor when he had prepared it in the first place, but he did it.

He did it.

That was a bad idea.

Very bad idea.

Branch was now clutching the kitchen counter, feeling as if he might collapse if he let go for a single second. He tried to look for something, anything, to lie down on, but much to his liking, there wasn't. Or maybe he was too disoriented to notice any.

Think. But he couldn't. He felt as if Branch.exe had stopped working, and he desperately tried to make sense of what was happening. Wasn't this a simple fever? He's dealt with those before, when he was alone, and this has never– okay, maybe it did happen a few times, but he had always pulled through.

Which was what he was going to do now.

Think. What do you do when you feel on the verge of passing out? Lie down. He just had to lie down till this spell passed. Lie down, slow and steady to the floor– a thud. At least he was now in a safe position, yeah. He'll just lean his head against the wall and wait.

His eyes snapped open briefly as pain shot through his skull. It wasn't supposed to hit it that hard, but it'll pass. The pain will pass.

He just had to breathe. In and out. Nice and slow through his nose. Why wasn't his body working properly? Why today, when he was by himself?

But it's okay. He'll keep his eyes open. He had to keep his eyes open. No one, and he means no one, is allowed to see him like this, not Poppy, not anyone, and definitely not his brothers - adoptive or blood.

He'll tough it out, just like he always does.

Safe position? Check. Breathing steady? He'll come to this one later. Eyes open? Definitely not check.

But he'll be okay. He'll be okay. He just had to hold on, hold on till whatever was happening passed. He'll just open his eyes– okay, that was a bad idea. The room was spinning harder, but he'll manage on his own. He's done it before, and he could do it again. Close your eyes. Open your eyes. He didn't know what to do, didn't know which rule to follow this time.

He can't do this on his own. He needed his brothers. All of them.

"Guys…" Was the last thing that left his lips before his consciousness slipped away, leaving his limp body lying slumped on the kitchen floor.

—------------

"Branch? Wake up."

"Wake up, baby brother."

"Call the others, quick."

Was all he managed to hear before he let go again.

Then someone was slapping his face.

"Branch! Branch, wake up!" A somewhat urgent voice reached his ears, a voice that, for whatever reason, made him open his eyes, albeit groggily. And sure enough, eight figures were hovering above him.

"You with me?" It was John, his hands cupping his youngest brother's face and searching for any signs of distress.

Branch nodded.

"You okay?"

He didn't know. Darkness was clouding his vision.

"Branch, focus!" He felt a sting against his cheeks from where John was trying to fully awaken him.

He let out a faint groan, sluggishly swatting at the eldest's hand.

"What happened? Can you tell us?" This was Floyd, his voice filled with concern and forced calmness.

"I was… making some soup… then everything started spinning…" he stammered, "I-I don't want to choose, Hype…"

Said troll shook his head. "It's okay, it's okay, you don't have to–"

"I love everyone–"

Boom bit his lip. "Branch, please calm down, you're stressing yourself out."

But the tears were already welling up. He wasn't in the right state of mind, they figured.

Kismet members exchanged uneasy glances. "It's our fault, just please, calm down."

"I don't want anyone to leave… not again…"

Ablaze placed a hand on Branch's forehead, feeling the heat radiating off of his brother. He looked at the others and silently shook his head.

"Branch, no one is leaving, alright?" Hype tried. "But you're making yourself sick, you have to calm down, yeah?"

Branch nodded.

"Can you stand?" Clay was already helping the glittery troll lift Branch to his feet.

Branch struggled along, even as his legs wobbled beneath him and he had to rely on his brothers to get him back to his bed. Great, they thought sarcastically. They were doing more harm than good.

"I-I–"

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay," Floyd cooed. "Just calm down."

"Nice and slow, through your nose," the blue troll instructed, noticing how Branch's breathing became shallower with each step.

Trickee sighed. "You shouldn't have overdone it like this."

The heartthrob nodded. "Yeah, Branch."

However, Boom was more concerned about the almost-full medication on the bedside table. "Have you been taking your medicine?"

"No one gave me water…" It came out more vulnerable than he had anticipated.

"No one did…?"

The sick troll looked up, tear-filled eyes scanning his brothers before pulling the covers over his face. "No." That said, he turned around and closed his eyes, already drifting off to a restless sleep.

—-----------

When Branch woke up the next morning, he was met with the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Coffee. He smiled slightly, he missed that. He let out a content sigh as he made his way to the kitchen, ready to be met with scolding from Kismet, and another later from Brozone.

But the scene in front of him? That was something even him was not expecting.

They were here. All of them. Well, of course they were, after what happened yesterday, but that wasn't the case, they were together, in one room. He rubbed his eyes then looked again. This was real.

"Morning, B," Floyd greeted softly, handing Hype a cup of coffee and sitting beside him, mindful of his own.

"Morning…"

"What are you doing out of bed, young man?" Branch really had to remember this was his brother talking to him and not his grandma.

"I-I was-"

"Back to bed." the purple-haired troll interrupted, "We'll bring you your breakfast."

Branch just nodded silently, slowly making his way back to his bed the kitchen. We?

They were talking. They were chatting, even, all together. They didn't fight over who would bring him breakfast, which was highly noticeable given the events of the last few days. But the dull troll didn't care about that now, and his lips twitched into the faintest hint of a smile. They were together.

And for once, reality seemed to be better than his imagination.

[btvs3x21]

dawn lehane au masterpost kinda*

what is it:

the basic premise is that i'm writing au starting in s3 wherein dawn is faith's younger sister, not buffy's. yes, she's still the key. however, i'm writing her into s3 since that's when faith is introduced. it'll make more sense as we get further into the story. trust and believe.

i'm currently planning for it to be a trilogy. the series title is one girl in all the world. the first fic in the trilogy will be called spare rib. i'm currently outlining this fic in detail and formulating a broad-ish outline for the rest of the trilogy.

predictably, this is a fuffy fic. there will be other ships, both minor/background (i.e. tillow and xanya as well as oz/willow and cander as per canon) and more relevant/major but not endgame (i.e. bangel and spuffy), but this is a fuffy household. there will also very crucially be a lot of focus on familial and platonic relationships, most notably dawn and faith given the premise.

expect to see lots and lots of character work. i love developing a bitch. i love exploring their backstory. i love taking them apart and looking at their insides. yes, this does mean we will deal with faith's sexual trauma a lot. but also lots of other characters will be getting ripped apart too /fond.

this is is not going to be a faith stays 'good' the whole time au. if you are looking for that, this is not it. this is about screwing up and still being the chosen on and everyone being really mad at you about that. this is also not going to be unfair or unkind to buffy! she is going to have her cake and be so mad about it too. fret not.

if it matters to you at all, i interpret faith as a lesbian and will be writing as so.

i heard kendra might be haunting more than just the narrative. who's to say? (i WILL be doing a lot more than the show does with her character. this is a promise.)

when to expect it:

i want to have the basic structure of the narrative and all the major plot points concretely planned before i start writing it, but i'm aiming to have that done and the first chapter of the first installment published on ao3 by the end of femslash february!

however, as far as consistency in an updating schedule goes, i cannot guarantee this. i LIKE to update weekly, but everyone keeps asking me to do things and i keep saying it's all good and i've got it for some reason. so go figure if i forget to update for a month.

still, i will be so communicative on tumblr about if updates are going to be late and the progress they're making. and if you follow me for utterpok also, i promise i will return; i told you guys i was going on hiatus for that fic, and i AM going to update it again sometime this spring!

other important stuff:

i will be opting out of archive warnings but the trilogy as a whole will deal heavily with sexual violence, domestic violence, and child abuse as well as all the canon-typical triggers (which sa arguably is, but i will be actually dealing with the sa).

i will not be adding chapter by chapter content warnings in the end notes like i normally do when writing fics, so please proceed with caution.

*i will continue to update this post as needed. mostly with links to the fic itself lmao.

[nyxxxx-onepieces-dragun]

can i PLZ rq mikey with a (gender neutral please) reader who's like...a sunshine type but they're actually pretty depressed and just trying to make him happy? FRIENDS TO LOVERS PERHAPS?? WHERE HE TAKES THEM OUT ON A DATE TO MAKE THEM ACTUALLY HAPPY AND HE CONFESSES AND SHIT PLZZ

sorry if this is too much, have a nice day and don't forget to drink water!

Omg I actually love this Bc this is a reader I can relate with! ty for being my first request and you too drinks lot of wata!

A/N: this is quite long because I could not stop writing hehe also I was listening to "heaven and back" By chase atlantic and MWAH that song is what helped write this fic but enjoy all my lovelies! ;3

Characters: Mikey x gender neuteral! reader, mentions of other characters (maybe) angst with comfort (I'm rlly bad at giving warnings lol bc I like surprising yall heh)

Hold my hand~

you were sat in your small apartment seated by the window that was littered with falling raindrops, soft thunder ran throughout the skies as you silently drank the warm cup of tea infront of you, the weather matched your mood, you've always felt like this since before you could remember, you don't remember what triggered it but you started falling into this deep abyss of foreign emotions, lost in the darkness you found comfort in until you finally hit rock bottom. That is, until you saw him, walking through the halls of your school with a tall intimidating guy that had a black dragon tattooed on the side of his head, you initially thought he was bad news and no good due to people whispering about how the bleach blonde boy was "the invincible Mikey" and how he ran "..The most dangerous gang in Tokyo" you kept your distance for as long as you could until he one day approached you with a confused look on his puppy face. "Excuse me do you know where Takemitch Hanagaki is?" he asked his head tilted to the side "oh- uhm I don't think anyone by that name goes here- but I can help you look if you'd like" you offered with a smile, something about this boy made you feel something, his aura was inviting and welcoming, and it made you feel something you haven't felt in a long time but you couldn't pin-point what it was "Oh really? that would be nice thank you lady!" he said with a small laugh that made you smile even more, it was child-like and rang through your ears like a soothing melody. Eventually you found this Takemitchi hanagaki with a sweet looking pink haired girl, you were about to take your leave when Mikey grabbed your shoulder to stop you. "Hey don't leave yet! your my friend now and we have to hang out!" he said with a boyish smile and you turned to him with a confused expression, "you want to be my friend?" you asked with a doubtful tone, "Of course! you helped me so now I wanna be friends!" your heart fluttered at his words and you quickly smiled and nodded "Alright then we'll be friends then!" you say and before you knew it he was hugging you in a tight embrace that sent waves of emotion through you. From that point on you've been the best of friends with Mikey, you did everything together from going on rides with him on his motorcycle or going to the convenience store to get him more dorayaki. He was the light in your darkness and you wanted to make him the happiest he could be since he was practically saving you from yourself, you both laughed and smiled whenever you were with each other, but when those days were over and you were left alone in your cold bed staring up at the dark ceiling those wretched thoughts and horrible sadness filled your veins again and you began to overthink 'What if he's just trying to make a fool out of me?' 'If he knows about my real emotions he'll for sure not want to be friends with me anymore' and you swore to yourself to never let Mikey see that dark ugly side of you, even when he was sad or talked about him brother, you always were right there to comfort him, to make him smile as long as he was happy you were happy...right? "Y/N why are you sad?" Mikey asked one day as you both were walking alongside each other the sun was setting painting a beautiful array of pastel colors, you turn to Mikey with a confused expression "..huh?" "you just seem so..sad today" he says looking up at the sky, your heart rate increased you felt your mind racing with thoughts of how this could all go wrong, you started hyperventilating your smile faltering and before you could even say one word he turned to you with a deadpan expression. "Let's go on a date."

OKAY OKAY LISTEN, I have Part 2 coming up and I'll post it bc I MADE THIS TOO DAMN LONG KJSDSKDJNFJSJDK but reposts/reblogs are welcome js credit me!^^ Tags: @nakukuu @z3r0aqxa

[rocket-sith]

Q GOT TIRED OF MAKING ROBINHOOD LARPS SO HE DECIDED TO OPEN FOUR DIFFERENT CHRONO-TRIGGER SAVE FILES AT THE SAME TIME INSTEAD, but only one needed further progress (non-linear progress of course), two were already complete but were saved in the wrong place and missing a sidequest (lol time being non-linear what?), and the fourth was a big ol' sparkly decoy, a glitched file of nonsensical bits n bites, alluringly named Picard, that nearly crashed the game and took everything with it while you were busy looking for continuity in all the wrong places.

Behold! Season 2 of Picard, AKA Facepalm Theater Presents, AKA "Dude, where's my Tapestry?"

Love it, hate it, WTF it, or some should-be-impossible combination thereof - but somehow, you feel it. Are you in one or both of those last two camps? Yeah, me too. But I think I might have a theory. And no, it's not bunnies. (I rambled a bit about this somewhat in the A/Ns and comment thread of one of my fics a few weeks back, but the proper brain dump belongs here).

Season 2 of Picard is neither episodic, NOR is it one major overarching story with various sub-plots. It's FOUR overarching major stories, well-conceived in theory (mostly), but thrown together as gracelessly and incoherently, with the same abundance of panic and lack of transitions as the night-before-it's-due school essays we're all so painfully familiar with perpetrating. (Admittedly, a lot of us got pretty good at being zero-hour coherent by the time we got to high school, but apparently, this skill does not translate to timetravel via stellar slingshots and demigod trolls.) So that leaves us with - 

Picard Season 2: A Trek in Four Acts Loosely Disjointed and Sloppily Squished Together Parts. Feast your eyes, rub your temples, and buckle up. 

CRIS AND THERESA'S WILD RIDE: (Love story, social commentary, classic Trek shiz focused on the more touching/emotional side of temporal shenanigans.)

RENEE PICARD'S TIME HEIST AND EVEN WILDER RIDE:  (Classic Trek shiz, classic time travel fuckery, focuses on the more action-packed side of temporal shenanigans.)

THE RED HERRING, AKA THE ROCKY HORROR PICARD SHOW:

Supposedly the main plot, but really a completely ridiculous distraction that's the narrative equivalent of dumping sand in the snowglobe and violently shaking it up. Captain Picard takes a wrong turn at Albuquerque and has to go do the Timewarp (again) in some creepy old castle so he can be magically transported back home. Yeah, okay buddy, just don't forget the teddy and the TP rolls to throw around the theater.

Cut this entire arc out, and the season improves substantially in both enjoyability and coherence. (I said what I said.) If any of the four major threads don't belong, don't move the story forward, and only serve to muck things up - it's this one. It's not so much an arc as a collapsible squiggly line that looks like it might go somewhere but never does. Great if you're drunk with a shadow cast and some floorwalkers. Not so great if you're actually trying to figure out WTF is going on. 

TAPESTRY RIDES AGAIN, AKA GRAND THEFT BORG QUEEN LOS ANGELES: And now for the main event, which was literally announced as such in one of the episodes, by two people breaking the fourth wall who were probably the LAST people anyone was expecting to break the fourth wall: Seven and Raffi. So naturally, we viewers took it as a couple of throwaway comments and cute banter to lighten the dark/intense mood of all the other crap. Yeah, oops. We can't say they didn't warn us.

At one point the two of them are joking around, talking about how they're the main event, and all these other side stories are just side stories, but...yeah. Looking back after S3, that was not a joke, and it goes above and beyond the call of foreshadowing. It was a flat-out tell, and with ALL the potential fourth wallbreakers in S2 - Q, the Borg Queen, The Traveller, the Long-Lived Alien Bartender With Multiple Mysterious Powers, The Temporally Flexible Romulan Spy Of Dubious Origin - if somebody's gonna spill some futuristic tea, it's gotta be one of them, right? RIGHT? Nope. Seven and Raffi snuck in the back door.

Basically, the Grand Theft Borg Queen arc was Tapestry, but for Seven (and Raffi and Jurati to an extent). Jurati and Raffi were, IMHO, initially intended to be pieces on the gameboard, not players, but they made themselves into major players. To what extent Jurati's involvement in outsmarting the Borg Queen was meant to be a challenge for her by Q, or part of Seven's trial that Jurati unwittingly assisted in IDK, and ditto Raffi's major role in all the aforementioned drama, but either way - Seven finally accepting herself the way she is, Borg hardware and all, was a direct, not even subtle parallel to the TNG episode Tapestry. 

The most direct link is the scene in Tapestry where Picard realizes he'd rather die as his true self than live as his other-universe self who "corrected" the "mistake" that led to his artifical heart. Seven accepted that she would rather live as her Ex-B true self than die as a fully organic human, and in doing so, passed the test. 

And Jurati and Raffi played no small part in that realization, and passed their own tests in the process - with Raffi embracing Seven (literally and figuratively) while resisting the urge to manipulate Cris out of choosing his own fate, and Jurati outsmarting and merging herself with the damn Borg Queen to protect humanity and her friends. Seven passed the Q Troll test with flying colors, and Raffi and Jurati did too - giving us Elnor and a benevolent Borg Queen in the future as a result. (Q is totally one of those teachers who gives his students rewards for passing the Big Test.)

Fire up S2 of Picard, get your Fast Forward button ready, and follow the Grand Theft Borg Queen: Los Angeles arc and ONLY that arc. Skip over every single thing (other than Q monologing, as that's the one common thread) that doesn't have Seven, Raffi, and/or Jurati. You'll get an entirely different experience. It's Tapestry, but for Seven, and with different tests/opportunities for Jurati and Raffi. (And they all pass). 

Now do it again, but FF anything that ISN'T either part of the Renee Picard Time Heist plotline or part of Cris and Theresa's story. You'll get a classic Back to the Future, MCU, Reset the Timeline, Poke-An-Alternate-Reality's-Doom-Destination-With-A-Stick style story. And they all pass too. Cris and Theresa get their happily ever after and punt the primeline forward through the next generation of temporally paradoxical, adopted and found family members. 

As for the BS at Chateau Picard? It's all a decoy/charade. So come in costume, bring plenty of shit to throw, and chug the wine. You'll need it. 

[familyvideostevie]

about the warnings for smut:

personally, i prefer detailed warnings because certain sex acts trigger me (such as blowjobs and a couple hard kinks). it’s easier to follow the dldr rule when i actually know what it contains. does that make sense?

yes, this is why i asked! thank you for sharing -- i totally get it. i want everyone to have a good time reading my smut! that's what it's for! when i have time i think i might go back and re-label my previous smut fics but that might not be for a while, so going forward i think i'll outline the content in detail at the start.

i think i get so caught up in all of the discourse and worry about minors on here that i forget to give people the tools to make their own dldr choices! like, you can't stop people from finding shit on tumblr but you can make sure that if they find it they know what they're in for.

anyway, thank you! <3

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Sparkle in my Eye 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Captain Syverson

This AU is called Watcher Anonymous and will include different series for different characters. This is our introduction to Syverson and Gem.

Summary: there's more growing in the garden than flowers.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

“Oh, I’m just getting ready—yeah, yeah, we can go tonight.” Her voice trickles down from the open doors of her balcony. 

Sy wipes a sheet of sweat from his brow and snips another thick stem with the pruners. He nearly catches the fingertips of his thick gloves. He’s working off of instinct rather than focus. He’s entwined in her conversation, though the other side he only catches pieces. 

“Ew, Margo, please, you know I'm not doing that. The kind of guys that take you home aren’t what I’m looking for,” Gem scoffs and sets something down. “Oof, I cannot get my hair to behave!” 

“You look fine,” the muffled response comes from her phone speaker. 

He knows she does. She always looks perfect. He pulls away a dried out stem and drops it in the clutter. It’s a nice day out but the sun is burning through his shirt. It’s like fire on the back of his neck. He pauses to adjust his hat and looks up. 

He sees her shadow looking off the balcony. The house is just as immense as the yard. His work takes at least a day but he can’t complain; her father overpays him for what he does. Who wouldn’t? With a house like this? A family? You’d want it all to be kept just so. 

“Ugh, don’t be a bitch,” Gem sneers. “It’s my car, I can take it when I want--” 

“Yeah, but daddy--” 

“Do you even want me to come over?” She snips. 

He laughs but not loud enough to be heard. She has some fire and her friends deserve that. They're all spoiled. She is too but she’s not like them. 

She closes the doors. Good. She forgets to do that sometimes and from the right angle, anyone could see in. If they knew the gate code, they could even get in. 

He shoves the snipped ends and dead bits in a compost bag. As he rolls the edge, she comes out. He keeps her in his peripheral but doesn’t look directly at her. She waves. 

“Is my dad gone?” She asks. 

“Em, yeah, think he left a while ago,” he peeks over at her. He takes off his cap and wipes his face on his arm. 

“Oh, it’s very hot. I should’ve brought you some water,” she tuts. “Anyhow, I’m on my way out. Looks nice out here.” 

“Thanks, miss,” he says. 

She smiles at him, “Sy?” She asks, hands on her hips. 

“Yes, miss?” 

“How does my hair look?” She turns to show him all of it. His eyes dart down to her checkered skirt. Quickly, he lifts them back to her face. 

“It looks very nice,” he assures her. It always does.  

“Aw, thanks, Sy,” she shimmies. “Well, have a good day. I’ll see ya next week.” 

She dances off in her platform heels and digs in her purse to find her keys. The white mercedes beeps and unlocks and she takes her time getting everything sorted. Purse in the passenger, pink leather knapsack in the back.  

She’s finally in. She backs up and the gates open at the push of her button. She swerves around and drives through. He watches until she’s gone. He just needs to clean up anyway. 

He leaves an hour later. He leaves his truck at home. It’s too obvious. He takes the pontiac in his garage instead. The pet project put together from his fruitful business and scavenging in junk yards. He drives past Margot’s and parks a block down. 

There’s a place around here where he does the hedges. They have a nice tree in the back too. It’s not exactly cozy and a bit of an effort but he gets to the top and perches between the branches. He’s been trying to cut weight but he’s always been on the thicker side. 

He can see almost right into Margot’s room. Gem is there. She has a glass bottle with bright pink liquid inside. He doesn’t think she should drink so much or so early but that’s why he keeps an eye on her. 

The girls eventually head out. He follows them to the mall. He eats while they waste time at that makeup shop. They come out and he gives them a bit to get ahead of him. He’s tired but he doesn’t have any other jobs to do. 

Dinner at a fancy place that demands ties and jackets sees him scrolling on the Discord. A few of the other men say they made progress, whatever that means. Some of those guys are a bit off. Especially that Cole fellow. Clumsy, to boot. 

After, the girls go down the street to a flashing marquee. They head into the bar without being stopped. The pretty ones never have trouble. He waits an hour, restless, then goes in after them. 

He trawls the place. He finds her. She’s got another drink. A bad habit. He nearly drowned in the stuff after he got back from serving. She’s young, she’ll learn. 

A man approaches her and Margot. He’s up on Gem before she even notices. She grabs his hand and moves it away from her hip. The other girl giggles. It’s obvious her friend is uncomfortable but she just thinks it’s amusing. 

Gem deserves better. She deserves people who care about more than labels and credit cards. She just needs that bubble popped. One day she’ll see.  

[jessilynallendilla]

Miscellaneous fic recs

Home Post 

LUCIFER 

The Devil’s Deal  (NR)  

When Charlie invites Lucifer to live at the hotel, she hopes to reconnect with her estranged father. Instead, she and her friends are dragged into a mystery older than time itself. The Devil is more than he seems and is up to something. This time, it's not just redemption on the line. Lucifer warns Charlie that he's not easy to live with. The Hazbin crew has invited the Devil into their home, and they're about to learn exactly why that's a problem. Can Lucifer prove he's not a danger to his daughter's dream, or will Charlie use their deal and ask him to leave? 

A Wish Of Avarice   (M 3773) SERIES  

Lucifer was widely regarded as the best of the worst; the King of Hell, the strongest Sin. But Lucifer knows what Sin has wrought mankind the worst, and likewise which Sin has been wrought and cursed the most in Hell. No one 'liked' Mammon, not even his fellow Kings, but Lucifer loves the youngest King because that's all he CAN do for him to keep him from falling apart...and taking Hell along with him. 

The King Of Hell (M)  

No one quite knows what it means to be the King of Hell and Lucifer has no intention of divulging that kind of information to anyone. Not even to Charlie... especially Charlie. His kind, beautiful, bright girl must never know. But unfortunately, in the long list of unfortunate things in his dreadfully everlasting life, Lilith knows, because she knows him better than anyone ever did (ever will). And with their time running out, there are some secrets that he will not be able to hide any longer. Not anymore. in which Pride collapses, and so do the rest. Charlie and the others must figure out how to put it back together again while she hopes against hope that her dad is not the Humpty Dumpty in this grim fairy tale. 

7 Days, 7 Chicks, An Empty Nest No More (G) SERIES

Drawn to the sound of his Father's voice in a place neither empty or full, the first of His children and His creations, The Morningstar watches as each of his siblings hatch and the beginnings of everything takes shape Light & Order, Life, Fate, Revelation, Passion, Zeal

Before the Fall  EX SERIES 

Click. Ten-Thousand-Three-Hundred-Something-Or-Other years ago, two stars descended from the heavens. God and the five archangels greeted the two, smaller, new, and fragile, with warm and open arms. The Morning and Evening stars had arrived. The first to land was Michael, the Evening star, and only minutes later, Samael was born. The two were divine twins. Click. 

CHARLIE 

Dismantle The System  (EX)  

Charlotte Morningstar, the Antichrist, and Princess of Hell, has a dream bigger than herself. She wants to reform Hell, Sinners and even Heaven itself to be more humane. Just because nature is cruel does not mean they, literal demons, need to be after all. However, her dreams are a little less than ideal as she's just lost her temper on national television because she couldn't handle the sheer amount of questions. Valid questions...And jabs to her character, her sexuality, her parents and more...but valid questions nonetheless. However, her downtrodden mood is all but repaired when a familiar knock knock pause knock knock comes a calling on her door. Maybe her dreams aren't so lofty with a smile and a bit of showtunes. 

SIR PENTIOUS 

Up Is Down Sane Is Insane  (T)  

Sir Pentious is having trouble adjusting to the hotel, easily triggered by memories he’d rather not have, of an asylum commitment that ended in his death. Knowing what the stigma of insanity does, he’s trying his best to forget everything from his past, and hoping that nobody ever finds out.  Of course, that doesn’t help with the actual trauma. 

God’s Home (T 1,074) SERIES  

Sir Pentious is redeemed, huzzah! Emily wants to tell Charlie that it worked, but Sera argues that they shouldn't bring her hopes up. After all, they still don't know what redeems a sinner. God has something to say about that. 

Act 1: Reconnection  T 

Because snake forms aren't common in Heaven, Sir Pentious is forced to use an alternate form per Sera's orders. At the same time, she places a spell on him that prevents him from speaking about who he was before and his time in Hell. Under the alias Pen, he is sent to Hell to help them with redemption. There, he struggles to reconnect with his friends, who are still mourning his supposed "death." 

ADAM 

Hope In Hell (T)  

Adam awakens as a fallen angel, a sinner in hell, cast away by the angels who had once claimed to ‘treasure’ him. Thinking there is no way back to heaven, he just wants to drown in resentment and spiral toward self-destruction. Of course, there is no way Charlie is going to let that happen, even when a dangerous enemy is ready to strike soon. 

A Second Chance  (T)  

Adam finds himself back to life, in Heaven, but as a three year old boy. How will Sera and the others in Heaven handle the first man who's finally given a chance to be an actual child? Will he finally have a loving family? Or was he now in a greater danger than ever before?  

Hope In Hell-AU  (T)  

What if Adam wakes up back to life in Hell, fallen and only remembers his isolating, depressing years in Heaven, not having the memories of falling in love with rock and roll, never meeting Lute, or befriending anyone in Heaven? All while Charlie sets aside her traumatic experiences with him to help the broken man. 

Uncle Adam  (M)  

"Weren't they yours too?" Charlie tries to stop the exterminations a century too early, still just a child, and comes face to face with their Leader: Adam, the First Man. And she tries again, every year. What starts as a yearly snag in Adam's joy ride of extermination turns into something unexpected Charlie wares down Adam's defenses and learns that there is more to the story. Besides, its been a long time since Adam tried something new, and he's never got the chance to be an Uncle before. Or Charlie is a precious, brave cinnamon bun and Adam has a lot of reasons for being the way he is. 

First Man Down   (NR  531,650) SERIES  

Every soul deserves a chance at redemption, right? No matter if they're a newer soul, or an older soul, or even the oldest soul of mankind. The first man, to be exact. He can be redeemed, right?  

The First Human’s Broken Heart  (M)  

Adam wakes up in hell, and is confused on how or why he's in hell. Is also going through the one thing he fears most- Being abandon. Charlie being the kind person she is can't help but want to help. While the others besides the niffty don't support Adam being redeem. 

I’m Sorry I’m So Hellish  (NR)  

Adam is a sinner, and tries to reconcile with Vaggie Vaggie hates his guts Lute shows up eventually !! OR Y'know Adam is literally their dad 

Silence So Loud  (G  14,822)  

Lute will always remember her first impression of Adam: 1- He was tall- no, not just tall, he was a giant . Effortlessly towering over everybody else in the room. 2- He walked with the confidence of a god, and tripped with the grace of a clumsy human being. 3- He was loud. Or: Adam is being unusually quiet and Lute is determined to figure out why. 

Hell’s Coming With Me (G)  

After Charlie and her friends' victory against the angelic army and Adam's death, the troubles are far from over. Over the course of two weeks after the battle ended, a new demon appeared in Hell. No one knows who he is, what he wants, or even his face: all that is known is that he goes around kidnapping overlords, killing anyone who gets between him and them, and that nothing and no one seems to be able to stop him because he possesses strength incomparable to any other sinner, so much that the media called him "Army of One". Charlie and her friends find themselves forced to look for this mysterious individual, in the hope of being able to stop him before he does serious damage to Pentagram City; but the reality is much more sinister than they imagine, and not only the future of their city could be at risk, but also the future of all of Hell... and maybe even more. And everything revolves around this mysterious man who has just arrived in Hell, whose hatred towards demons and the Morningstar family seems to be unstoppable 

A Father’s Wrath (M)  

An Adam by any other name is still a father. Adam from 'Record of Ragnarok' wakes up in the Dickmaster's body and proceeds to make it everybody else's problem. 

Beyond Paradise  (NR) SERIES  

Lucifer, Lilith and Eve are in hell. The three of them are in their poly relationship but someone is missing. The First man Adam. They had expected him to end up in hell with them after his death but Heaven had decided he was worthy. Lucifer and Lilith believe its only a matter of time before he falls. Eve is more impatient and perhaps too obsessive when it comes to her true love. A ploy is needed to bring him down.  

Just Want To Rock  (M)  

What if Adam fell, but instead of being angry and miserable, he’s just having a great time in his existence in a world with no rules? Especially when he’s powerful? Meanwhile, Charlie is doing all she can to find a way to take him back to Heaven. Because, in her mind, there is no way anyone would prefer Hell over Heaven, right?  

Salvation On The Radio   (T)  

“What the hell, Alastor! Why would you bring him here?” Vaggie shouts.  

Alastor tilts his head to the side innocently. One ear twitches, but his smile never wavers. “Why, our little meeting last week! Charlie did say that the hotel needs new guests, didn’t she?”  

“Guests, not evil bastards who destroyed the hotel!”  

“But Adam here is seeking redemption! We do not discriminate between souls in need, do we?”  

Or; Alastor drags Adam to Charlie's doorstep like a cat that hasn't killed its prey yet. Things happen from there.  

Welcome To Lady Hell (M 91,356) SERIES  

In which Adam dies and is reborn again into the clutches of Hell. In which he seeks redemption for sins he doesn’t think he committed. In which all that stands between him and the potential for redemption is one annoying and near-dead deer (or so he thinks).  

Lose Those Chains  (T 37,631) SERIES  

After the last extermination, Adam survives but is cast out of Heaven and sent to Hell. Charlie encounters him and learns there's more to the story she was told growing up. Adam wasn't always the villain he was portrayed as and her parents weren't the heroes she believed them to be. This is the story of Hell told by the man who used to have everything. And his tragic downfall where he lost paradise not only once, but twice.  

Holy Snow Cometh Down (Like Blood On Thine Town)  (M)  

Adam, The Fucking Man. The First Fucking Man. Has so graciously and not so delicately decided that it's time to ransack that little Hotel that's run by Lucifer's daughter. Because, if he's gonna aim to knock out the big guns it's gonna start with the motto of go big or go home, baby! He's gonna get his girls down there and they're gonna stand up and shout out! Speak out, with a lot more violence and weaponry of course. Because if those cunts are going to die no matter what, he'll do the nice thing and let them all go out with a bang, anyway! Though he doesn't expect to die and he doesn't expect to be reborn as one of the Sinners, either. 

Redemption Through Hell  (M)  

Eve refuses to believe that Adam is dead and will travel to Hell to get him back. Adam wakes up to see he is now a Sinner/Fallen Angel and must come to terms with his past and feelings that he thought were long dead. Meanwhile Lute is planning to avenge the death of the friend she thinks is dead with the help of an unlikely ally. 

Earn It  (M)  

Many want it, many more believe they deserve it, only some actually strive for it and few ever earn it. Charlie sets out to follow her dream with help from an unexpected source.  

You Take My Wife! I Take Your Child!  (T)  

Extermination day, Adam's favourite day of the year oh how he loved to break the little kingdom Lucifer tried to build. And here he was ready to destroy some of that bastard's ducks for shit and giggles. But he found something better oh so much better and then he got an idea a terrible idea a wonderful idea. Too bad it went to shit!  

Managerial Liberties (T)  

If pressed, Lucifer didn’t know what he’d expected to happen to Adam after getting that much-deserved stabbing. Probably nothing. As in, actual nothing, obsolescence, a complete eradication from each and every plane of existence so that nobody would have to hear a single fucking shitty guitar riff again. In retrospect, that must have been one of Lucifer’s very rare sparks of unfounded optimism. Or: 5 times Adam got put back in his place + 1 time Vox got the same treatment 

Adam's Demon child  NR 

During the extermination Adam acquires a child and needs to learn how to take care of a hellborn demon child while also trying to keep her a secret from everyone. (expect Lute of course) 

ALASTOR 

Demon Summoning & Other Neat Party Tricks (M)  

The kid looks at Alastor. Then at her spellbook. Then back at Alastor. "You're not a dog," she says.  

Alastor wrinkles his nose. "I should hope not."  

(Or: Six-year old witch, Imogen Woods, steals her late grandmother's spellbook and tries to summon a hellhound, hoping for a puppy to become her new familiar. Instead, she accidentally summons one of the most powerful beings in Hell, Alastor, the Radio Demon. They strike a deal where Alastor must celebrate Imogen's birthday on earth with her every year until she is eighteen. In return, he gets her soul ... terms and conditions permitting, of course. Unfortunately, deals are difficult to maintain when Alastor begins to feel like a father to the very witch who summoned him.) 

My New Dad Was My Murderer?!   (M)  

Alastor gives birth to a baby, but that baby was once one of his victims on earth reincarnated (and have all their memories of how Alastor has murdered them) so they’re terrified of him. How would Alastor bond with his baby when every time they hold them they cry? 

Never An Object Again (EX 232,261) SERIES  

Tissy started her human life as an object. As Hermila, she was a target of scorn and disgust from “her betters” and yet, ironically, not beneath their notice when it came to men’s unwanted carnal predations. She seemed destined to a life of tragedy and abuse, until her prayers were answered and she was sent a spirit of vengeance who freed her from the powerlessness of her color and sex. Alastor forged her into anything but an object and, when her human life comes to an untimely end, he has every intention of keeping his vicious protégée at his side as an integral part of his closely guarded afterlife. Tissy is not an object but something much more worthy of respect. She is an extension of himself. An Overlord’s station is not guaranteed, however, far from it, and those challenges to his power will test all of the Radio Demon, every single part. 

Road Down Memory Lane (EX)  

Seven years ago, Vox and Alastor's Fight made a huge impact in Hell. Changing the lives of a lot of demons forever. Now seven years later a newly returning Alastor learns two important things. One: His old friend is nowhere to be seen and that the Pride ring has electricity problems. And two: His actions have dire consequences...  

That Which Wounds The Soul  (NR)  

Alastor does NOT care about this group of misfits. He doesn't. He can handle his wound on his own as well. There's nothing to worry about. AKA: Alastor nearly dies from his wound from Adam and everything spirals from there. 

Mama’s Lwa   (T)  

After redeeming sinners is proven possible, Sera is forced to have an open mind toward Hell. She begins to allow tours on the condition that the sinners be kept in line. Many tours have been successful, but not all sinners have a positive takeaway. Alastor is especially having trouble and must confront both his deepest feelings and most fatal flaws. 

Alastor’s Deal   (M)  

After 8 long years, Lilith returns home about a month after the residence of the Hazbin Hotel can only assume Alastor was killed while fighting Adam. Lilith has Alastor locked away again as she did during his 7 year absence after their deal. Despite excitement from Lucifer and Charlie to see Lilith home, the others can't help but be suspicious of her sudden return. 

Parts Of Me I Cannot Hide (Cannot Hide)  (T 9,314)  

“Where have you been, young man? We need to talk.” Alastor turned his head so he didn't have to meet her mother's gaze and crossed his arms, automatically defensive. She crouched down to his level, resting one knee on the floor, and studied him intently. “Where were you?” she asked again. She ran her fingers lightly over his sore cheek, leaving a tingling sensation on his skin even without actually touching him, before brushing his hair away from his face. Alastor realised that what his mother was feeling was concern for him. She was worried.  

First Steps Of A Newborn Deer  (G 4,409)  

Rosie was no stranger to seeing newly manifested demons on those streets. So it was not surprising when, on a stroll through the town that now belonged to her, another new demon ended up at her feet. Not literally, of course, though perhaps it was only a matter of time. In an alleyway not far from the central square was a figure almost unable to stand, leaning their full weight against the wall of one of the building. She glanced to his feet, where trembling hooves were what was giving the demon so much trouble. Like a newborn deer taking its first steps. 

Radio Isn’t Dead   (M)  

"...but it is ending this broadcast."  

Alastor was rattled- he knew that, and he was fairly certain everyone else could at least guess. His fight with Adam had left him… shaken, as much as he hated to admit it. He spent pretty much every day in his room, hostile and withdrawn, drawing up plans for the future, fixing his staff, nursing his wounded self and pride. All the while trying his very best to hide the extent of his weakness- very poorly, if the others’ reactions were any indication. What he didn't know was that soon he'd have much bigger problems to worry about than his own health. The Vees are plotting, and will stop at nothing to take advantage of this opportunity. Adam has found himself in the claws of desperation. Worst of all, Lilith is returning to Hell- and she's not going to come quietly. 

Oh Mama’s Boy Don’t You Know? (Mama Can’t Help You Now)   (NR 4,535) SERIES  

Alastor’s father. Man of mystery. Man that made the deer into what he is today. Raising him from childhood with knives as words, hate as views. When Alastor had done him in that night, he thought his soul was so evil it was in a place below hell. And he continued to think as such, even after he himself got to hell, the blood of hundreds of strangers on his hands. All was well. Maman was in heaven, lounging on soft cotton clouds, and Alastor was where he belonged. Father nowhere to be seen, he found himself in peace. Until the day the man returned 

The Devil’s Forked Path (EX)  

1910:  

"You want blood, boy? Killing animals again?" His father once asked.  

 He felt, as always, that deep shadow growing in the back of his mind to edge his turmoil over a precipice. Before he could lose it entirely- because he'd black out soon, and he'd rather go with it than against it at this point, he had dashed into the house to retrieve his hunting rifle and told that shadow to hold on. Hold on. Sometimes demons aren't born; they are made. The backstory of Alastor Hartfelt. 

Time Has Changed The Meaning   (T  15,297) SERIES  

In the late fifties, Rosie finds an odd TV-headed fellow trying to take his own face apart on the outskirts of Cannibal Town. Introducing him to Alastor is her first mistake. Falling in love with them both is her second. 

An Act Of Creation (T 3,024) SERIES

Alastor intends to create a vessel in which to safeguard some of his power. What he actually gets is? In over his head.

Alastor Kidnaps A Child (T)

Alastor has killed a lot of people during his life and gotten away scot-free. No evidence. No suspicion. No witnesses. Until now. The obvious solution is to add another number to his body count. Except, she’s five years old. The next best solution is to adopt her. Unofficially. Without telling her family. As he learns, though, that might actually be an improvement for her. He also learns that being a parent is far more difficult than being a murderer.

1924 - (Comfort Is The Thing With Fur) (T 4,223)

“I can just feel it, Al! This is the one!”

Two sets of heels traipsed side-by-side down a brick-encumbered boulevard, ensconced by rows of dimly lit shoppes and a velvet sky blanketed with a veneer of winking crystalline stars. The year was 1924, the era of illegal pubs and sheer stockings and rebellion. Of sleeveless dresses shrouded in sequins and the rise of jazz and the covenant of carnage. The year was 1924 and two souls, blackened at the fringes by callous indulgence and impending sins, who found solace in each other's repugnancy, carelessly bumped head-to-chest as they corresponded to keep the other upright; hands that only knew of unbreakable friendship and mutual hate grappling feverishly amongst each other.

“I'd be further inclined to believe you if you hadn't already exhausted that promise, my dear.”

The Man Who Put New Orleans To Rest (M)

Good evening, New Orleans! Three months ago someone from our wonderful cleaning staff almost met a grisly fate with none other than the Bayou Killer himself. Now, they believe to know who the man at large is: myself! Your beloved Radio host, Alistair McCarthy. Quite the accusation, is it not? Will our darling little maid prove their suspicions to be true? Stay tuned to find out.

A Beginning (EX)

Everything and every single human has an origin whether it's from birth or from creation and all end the same way. Death. You could stand out as the most marvelous human, the smartest, the scientist or the activist, anything if the talent was there and the dedication. This is not one of those situations. There are other ways to be known and are not the bright, interesting ways once thought and this origin starts where it shall end, with a human named Alastor.

The New Orleans Devil EX SERIES

In the early 1900s New Orleans was hit by one of the most prolific serial killers the city had ever seen. The name "Devil" is rightfully earned by a seemingly harmless radio host. With each gruesome murder the authorities are getting further and further away from catching the murderer and each murder is more gruesome than the last. The New Orleans Devil assaults the media with slaughter after slaughter keeping the spotlight on him. This is the life and death of the soon to be radio demon.

The Devil Tips His Hat To Me (EX 2,550) SERIES

His lips cracked into a delightful grin as she writhed beneath his grip, face paling as he whispered, “Oh, my dear… you cannot begin to fathom how happy you’ve made me. I haven’t been this entertained in months.”

Love You Deerly (EX) SERIES

You knew he was obsessed. It was obvious from the way he ensured he was on your mind at every waking moment of the day. He told you that you amused him: that you inspired him. That he was making a special place in Hell, just for you and he wouldn't hear a word of protest! You knew he was determined to drag you down, kicking and screaming if need be. You just wished that it wasn't all because you had drunkenly bought a radio off eBay

Road To Hell T 7,359 SERIES

Alastor made it to heaven after he died, but he has never felt settled. He doesn't feel he belongs, and keeps to himself because he has a secret that he keeps close to his chest, even from his mother. But news of a Hotel in Hell trying to redeem sinners of their sins catches his attention, and he sets out to find out more about it anyway he can.

The Signal That Beckons (M)

What if Alastor’s fight with Adam ended…differently? What if he was “purified” instead to the last moment he could have been redeemed? And, unfortunately for him, that was when he was only eleven.

The Signal that Beckons  M 

What if Alastor’s fight with Adam ended…differently? What if he was “purified” instead to the last moment he could have been redeemed? And, unfortunately for him, that was when he was only eleven 

The “Unredeemable”  EX 20774 SERIES 

Alastor finds himself inconveniently attached to the other hotel residents, drawing him into a situation that he would not normally concern himself with. Unfamiliar with these newfound emotions, he puts himself in harm’s way to protect those around him. 

Family Reunion   T SERIES 

Alastor's sister has checked in at the Hazbin Hotel to get redeemed. After a less than stellar reunion, the two siblings are carefully reconciling, and learn more about each other along the way. Now faced with constant reminders of the past, both Alastor and Amélie struggle to cope with memories—and trauma—they had believed to have been buried long ago. And while the ghosts of the past may be dead, it's not so easy to escape them forever when you're dead, too. 

Put On Your Sunday Clothes   M 43102 

Beelzebub visits Cannibal Town for an exciting weekend of partying and feasting. She even invites the residents of the hotel to join in the fun. But in all the festivities, something terrible is rotting, threatening to make itself known... 

Failure to Become Kind...   T 

Alastor and Lucifer have actually met before. Long ago. At the time meeting Alastor had given Lucifer hope for mankind but now he's not so sure. 

MISC 

Growing Up Impish  (T) SERIES  

Growing up, Moxxie learned early that not everyone really liked his parents. So he learned quickly to not mention them. But when an unexpected visitor drops by I.M.P, Moxxie's past is brought to light. After all, how could he deny it when the Radio Demon appeared and stated his presence was required for a Family Reunion? Crumbs was this going to be hard to explain.  

If Hell Is Forever Then Heaven Must Be A Lie - Arc I: Pestilence  (G  443,382) SERIES  

A week has passed since the angels were forced to retreat and the Extermination was cancelled; the Hazbin Hotel has been rebuilt, peace reigns again, and although the demons still seem reluctant to embark on the path of redemption Charlie is optimistic about the future. That is, at least until an unexpected guest shows up at her door asking for help, revealing the first of a long series of secrets that Heaven and Hell have kept for centuries. With the discovery that redemption is possible, the return of an enemy who was thought to be defeated, the emergence of new threats, Hell which increasingly descends into chaos where the most evil are the masters, and more and more hidden truths that come to light, what will happen to the Hazbin Hotel? Will Charlie and her friends be able to at least save themselves, or will they be consumed by the anarchy into which the entire cosmos is slowly sinking? 

Like Stardust  (M 5,637)  

Many long years after the death of their loves, two old friends meet up to reminisce about what they've both lost.  

Damnation With You Isn’t So Bad   (NR)  

After a negative encounter with Carmilla Carmine, Vaggie hoped she would never meet the overlord again. However, when Carmilla learns something unexpected, she's determined to make things right between the moth demon, and make amends. Vaggie doesn't trust the overlord, and Charlie is still furious with her for obvious reasons. But over time, Vaggie starts to see the easily-tempered woman is not so bad. However, with a newly formed ally, old memories threaten to break Vaggie, as her past comes to haunt her. Can those in her present, keep her safe from those of her past? Vaggie tries to stand on her own but slowly sees those around her are people she can rely on. 

And Love Will Bring Us Freedom  (M)  

Nobody knew what to make of Charlie hauling an Envy-made television set out of storage and turning it on to some random clown show none of them have heard of. They definitely didn't expect to meet some of her relatives at the party she threw after. 

Good Evening (M)

Stop me if you've heard this one: A mob-child, a daughter to the mayor, and a sex worker end up killing a man in the dead of night and have no idea how to get rid of the body. Luckily, a permanently smiling man was there to aid them and needed new puppets to cure his boredom.

Just Another Happy Day In Hell (M)

Welcome to a collection of one-shot fan-fictions from the Hazbin Hotel fandom, where the everyday lives of the characters are filled with surprising twists and creative ideas inspired by my passion for this fandom.

Hazbin Trashcan (EX 90,166)

Y'all this is ancient texts from 2019-2020 back in the days of the pilot save yourself the shit and dont read it. Its charlastor and oc centered besides, i just dont have the heart to get rid of it.

[chouettecrivaine]

this blog is rated 16+.

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⋆˚✿˖° Requests + Suggestions

I do not take requests on this blog. i do, however, take suggestions.

suggestions must be sent through the linked google form or i will delete them.

The exception to this is when i reblog a list of prompts or some sort of prompt meme. i will explicitly state when the inbox is open for requests in these cases, and i will state when the inbox is closed.

The google form is always open for as many suggestions as you'd like to give, but there is no guarantee i will write that entry.

My inbox is always open for chatter, theories, brainstorming, etc! Anything but actual requests.

⋆˚✿˖° Suggestion Rules

Any obviously minor character (i.e. ortho (twst), luke (obm), chibi squad (genshin), and so on) will be platonic even if i forget to state it in the post.

Up to five characters per request or stick to a pre-ordained grouping (i.e. dormleaders/overblotters for twst have 7 but since they're in the same group that's fine)

One request per form please, but submit as many forms as you'd like!

Be as specific as you want, as it gives me a lot to go off of so i know you'll like what i write! (but also give me a little wiggle room!)

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⋆˚✿˖° Content

This blog is SFW! However, I am an adult, and I am not immune to making innuendos/jokes/lighthearted comments. I also like to explore heavier topics, messy and not 100% healthy relationships, and realistic lenses to a myriad of topics that may have some gravity. Everything is written with respect, but different people have different tolerances for different things. I also believe in the catharsis of ventfic, so every now and then you might find something a little more somber than my usual works. I warn and tag thoroughly, but you’re always welcome to remind me if I’ve missed something!

In terms of suggestions, dark submissions in general are OK! I will not write graphic depictions of obviously triggering subjects, and the care and keeping of my headspace comes first ^u^.

⋆˚✿˖° Extra

I write both x-reader and OC fic.

I try to keep my reader as GN as possible, but I also write with myself in mind and am subject to biases. However, if I notice defining characteristics of the reader slipped into the final work, I try to mention it in the information before the fic actually starts. Please feel free to let me know if I missed something!

I don’t allow reposts of my works. Please ask to translate!

I post most of my things on ao3, but in an effort to stop my fics from being scraped for machine learning, everything is private and can only be accessed while logged in to an account.

Please do not ask for a part two or continuation of my works. I am either working on it or do not see an appropriate point of continuation, and I do love a good ambiguous ending. Or several.

.......aaaaaand there we have it! I think that's everything! Thank you so much for reading this far ^^ I really appreciate you!

updated 11/21/24

[pandorkful]

Feeling zany so have a Lunar fic/comic idea/super rough draft I've been tossing around in my head for awhile:

Lemia Ausa drops in on Ghaleon at the temple of Althena with a very... specific issue. Her mother has recently recovered from a serious illness, but that brush with death kicked up a storm of "irrational" (in her opinion) thoughts within Lemia. Thoughts that so many women face when confronting the mortality of their elder loved ones.

(Oops this got long, rest is in the read-more! Uh idk if there's anything particularly agregious I should make a trigger-warning about? It's two goobers trying to brainstorm a baby into existence, without Lemia having to like actually get pregnant herself. It's also about a friend group trying to come to terms with how they're drifting apart, now that a million crisises are no longer hanging over their heads. Queerplatonic genderfuckery. Oh, and a priest of the Goddess Althena totally not having a messy crisis of faith.)

In short, Lemia wants to produce a baby before it's too late for the kid to meet their grandma. (And, though she admits to herself it's a terrible and cliché reason to want to reproduce, it would be nice to be able to reassure her mother--or rather, reassure all of Vane, that the Ausa line will continue.)

However, several issues face Lemia. She has no time nor interest in finding a romantic partner to contribute to this project. Her mother raised her alone, and she turned out just fine--Lemia is 100% committed to the idea of single parenthood.

There's also the teeny, tiny problem of.... well to put it bluntly, Lemia's not so crazy about penetration. For herself, mind. She's always been a dedicated top, no problem with penetrating so long as she's the penetrator. But anything in her? Ehhhh..... hard pass.

So she lays this problem out before Ghaleon, knowing if anyone's going to successfully brainstorm an Ausa into existence with her, it's gonna be him.

Ghaleon is absolutely honored that Lemia chose to bring this highly sensitive problem to him to chew on. Besides his lifelong friendship with the Ausa family, it's a welcome distraction from... stuff.

Dyne's been growing distant, spending more and more time with the Goddess, getting up to who knows what. Leaving Ghaleon alone, with nothing but his thoughts...

Anyway, fuck yeah Lemia!! Let's figure this out!!!

First off, to get the conventional solutions out of way, Ghaleon would be down to donate sperm--but even if Lemia weren't adverse to penetration, he's shooting blanks.

Maybe it's a curse from Althena, on those of the Vile Tribe she didn't banish 500 years ago... and maybe Ghaleon doesn't want to consider how the Goddess he serves has treated his people, for the sake of his own sanity. (Either way, infertility hasn't really been that big of a deal for him anyway.)

Besides Ghaleon, well Dyne's pretty much unreachable lately. What about Mel? Would it be weird to ask Mel? He did just become a father himself, so maybe it'd be kinda weird. And his wife did have complications carrying a very large half-beastfolk baby that she only just barely survived carrying to term... hmm. Besides that, Lemia would like to emphasize: No penetration if we can avoid it.

So friend donors and any other donor situation seems to be off the table. They're gonna have to get weird about this.

Well, what if... Ghaleon hesitates, mentally backing away from a thought, as if it was a red hot iron brand. No, maybe not. Forget it.

What. Spill it, Ghaleon.

Okay fine, what about Althena.

You mean... praying to the Goddess for a baby?

Thousands of mothers have done so before. Though, I'm not sure they were expecting or received a virgin birth for their efforts.

I'm not a virgin, Ghaleon.

You know what I mean, Lem.

Hm. Thinking about it with this level of granularity, Lemia's starting to question if she isn't a bit put off by the thought of getting pregnant at all... but wait, why had Ghaleon been so hesitant about that suggestion in the first place? He's a priest, turning to the Goddess for divine intervention should be like the number 1 option for him. But he's being kinda cagey about it...

Is something going on with Althena?

I wouldn't know. Ghaleon fails to hide the hurt and bitterness in his voice, and realizes it. But Lemia is one of his dearest friends in the world, someone he trusts completely. He can't keep his problems a secret from an Ausa, never could.

But, it wouldn't be right to dump his problems out on her, not when she came to him first with a conundrum of her own--

Ghaleon. Spill it.

Augh. Fine. Althena has been... distant, for some time now. Distracted. Troubled? I don't know, she... ignores my prayers.

That's... very concerning.

To be fair, I've been pleading with her for one thing and one thing only. I've... probably just irritated her, that's all.

Hmm. And how's Dyne taking her "distance?"

What do you think I've been praying for.

Oh.

Yeah.

I'm so sorry, Ghaleon.

It's... it'll be alright. He's just... he can be so single-minded. Though, I'm not much different, with my own focus... I just wish... I keep praying...

That she'd release him from his duty?

Mm-hm.

Lemia wraps her friend in a furious embrace, and Ghaleon curls into it desperately. She mentally tries to tamp down on the flames of her rising Ausa fury, while he tries hard to not think about how long it's been since he was last held by anyone, or how very very much alone he's been left.

It's many long minutes before they speak again, and when they do, Lemia continues to hold on to Ghaleon.

So... we were talking about your baby conundrum...

Oh forget it, it's silly 30-something hormonal bullshit.

No, I think it's more important to you than that, Lemia. Beyond just some warped sense of duty to Vane or to your mother. I know your extended family, it's not the end of the world if you don't produce an heir to inherit the position of Guildmistress. You've got heterosexual cousins in spades, Lem.

Pfft. You're making it sound as if they breed like chiros.

In. Spades.

Hmph. Fine. So besides not needing to worry about causing a succession crisis if I just dropped this entire line of thought, I'm starting to come to the conclusion that I might not be crazy about the whole... conception thing.

There's the rub. Baby only, no pregnancy, huh?

Oh, I don't know... no me pregnancy, that's for certain... ah, this is dumb, let's just forget it.

They lapse into silence again for awhile, until Ghaleon perks up with a sudden thought.

Lemia. I've figured it out.

What? No, I told you it's fine, we can drop this whole thought experiment.

No, no. Listen to me, Lem! I've got it!!

Alright alright, I'm all ears.

If the thought of getting pregnant and carrying a child to term makes you squeamish... perhaps you don't want to be a mother.

..............Ghaleon. I was literally just saying that.

Wait, wait. I wasn't finished.

Oh by all means, please continue this brilliant original thought you're expressing.

Thank you. As I was saying. You don't want to be a mother.

So it seems.

Lemia.

Yes, yes, I'm listening. Ghaleon.

Lemia, has it occurred to you that you might want to become a father?

......................

Lem?

.......................................ohh.

Lemia bites a knuckle, finally releasing Ghaleon from her arms, her warm golden eyes flashing wide and wild with a new, mysterious and sudden excitement.

Ghaleon can't help the sly smirk that's crept onto his face--a smirk that will one day become a familiar and well-worn quirk, but today it's still almost uncharacteristic on him.

You want to be a daddy, Lemia?

Lemia makes a strangled, high-pitched squeal in the back of her throat, then takes a few deep breaths through her nose to calm herself.

Ghaleon. Ghaleon.

Mm-hm?

I wanna be a daddy.

This time Ghaleon wraps his arms around Lemia's shoulders, pulling her into a warm hug.

You'll be a great dad, Lem.

Lemia buries her face into her friend's chest and belts out a guttural scream, Ghaleon just holds her close and laughs.

So ends BABYQUEST, PART 1

[idyllic-affections]

i just read both of your muichiro works and I’m really impressed 😭😭💓, so I would like to request some thing. What would the reader (gender neutral pls) have to do to cheer giyuu,obanai and muichiro when they are is sad 

what might one need to do to raise the hashiras' spirits?

summary. how do you comfort the hashiras?

trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. reverse comfort. muichiro tokito & reader, kyojuro rengoku & reader, tengen uzui & reader. 0.7k words. no pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. hello lovely!! thank you so much. muichiro is like... my favorite ever, so recieving praise for the content i write of him is so heart-warming <33 on a more serious note, please please remember to read my rules before requesting. like any writer, i have boundaries. it states who i do and don't write for, and as of right now, i'm just not comfortable writing for giyuu or obanai. i replaced them w/ kyojuro and tengen. muichiro's is the longest though bc i love my son <3333 also this is kind of a different writing style than my usual content? if you guys like it enough i might try to use it more often.

T. MUICHIRO—

oh this boy. this poor boy.

i like to think that he goes through random bouts of sadness and frustration, especially before he regains his memory; he doesn't even know where his deep-seated rage towards demons come from! that fact just perpetuates his frustration. he can't understand why he's so angry and that only serves to anger him more.

also, let's not forget that he's a child. he is a fourteen-year-old child. he has a hard time processing his feelings and working through his trauma alone. children need love and support, love and support that he does not get enough of.

(the other hashira try their best, but let's be honest—they're all always so busy. they wouldn't realistically have time to attend to the emotional needs of a child.)

i don't care how independent canon muichiro seems to be.

he is a child. he grew up too fast.

to ease his soul, i think the best course of action would simply be to dote on him.

he needs the attention. he really does.

dote on him.

brush and braid his hair (braiding it would have practical value, after all!) with his permission, cook for him... just small, familial gestures.

he may or may not cry.

if he does, squeeze his hand and run your thumb over his knuckles. he's like a cat; do not make any further contact unless he initiates it first.

he probably won't vent because he doesn't know what's upsetting him. just let him cry it out. don't expect an explanation (and don't be surprised if he forgets about his breakdown soon after it happens).

give him a lil forehead kiss. he deserves it.

R. KYOJURO—

kyojuro is an interesting one!

i personally think that doing little domestic things with him would be a good way to cheer him up.

or even just doing things with him, spending time with him.

take a walk! go out to eat! make friendship bracelets! any activities done together are always a good bet with kyojuro.

simple little gestures are definitely the way to go, too. he's got a big heart. it's really not too hard to cheer him up, as long as your efforts are genuine.

also, definitely give him a big hug. he'd love that. squeeze him like your life depends on it. it won't hurt him; he's a hashira. he'll be fine.

i headcanon that he's a very good cook!

he is, however, a disaster with baking.

doing things like cooking and baking with him would raise his spirits so so effectively. trying to teach him how to bake would be really good for making him laugh, because i guaruntee that you & him would end up covered in flour and shit like that LMAO

be sure to listen to him talk if he decides on opening up. he'll appreciate having someone that listens.

U. TENGEN—

we all know this man is flashy and loud!

because of this, i think the best way to cheer him up would actually just be sitting in the silence with him.

no words, nothing. just calm silence between two friends.

observe the stars at night with him. listen to the wind rustle leaves and blades of grass.

anything that's simply low effort and relaxing would be good for him, i think. he's got so much energy all the time. tengen spends so much time being... loud and—obviously—flashy.

because of that, every now and then, he needs quiet time to recover.

he needs to decompress sometimes.

like kyojuro, i think he'd appreciate a good hug too. in his case though, it would be best and most effective to hug him once he's feeling better, not while he's feeling bad.

with his permission, massage the tension out of his shoulders. that would help too.

really, he just needs a judgement-free safe space in which he can wind down. i don't imagine him as the type to vent, so that's not something he'd be doing. he just needs someone who understands his need for the quiet, someone who won't pressure him to open up when he just isn't ready to.

he just needs a friend to be there for him.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[lady-z-writes]

Just going through notes on my phone and found some Commander Lawrence x OC stuff I planned to make into a fic but chose not to.

So here's some little pieces I'm actually not hating. Some spicy, some sad. Very niche post. And one, big trigger warning...

Tw: miscarriage.

We've both experienced loss, we know this. He's spent countless nights drunk with me, watching in silence as I let the fire dance in front of my face, swallow down tears.

It takes him four days to ask, but I feel enough gratitude toward his kindness, I at least owe him this.

"This is my first post since I had a miscarriage."

His eyes flick toward me, mouth a hard line, but I see a spark of understanding in his expression. The empty bedroom upstairs for his wife, the news Aunt Lydia told me before my post: Eleanor passed three months ago. He's lost, too.

"I see."

Is there...anger I see? Does he think I'm not fit to carry a child; that I can't?

I finish my drink; stare at him until he turns to me.

"Quite a loss, heavy - especially given these circumstances." He swallows a mouthful of his drink. "My assumption is they've assured you you're fit to try again, as they say?"

I nod solemnly, look in my lap. So it's like that, then. Maybe he isn't much different than the other Commanders.

"...do you want to?" There's no urgency in his voice - no demand, no force. Simply a question, as if this loss happened at a time before Gilead.

"Yes," I find myself saying, partly because it's true, partly because it's expected.

He nods then, tries reading my expression, then stands.

I hold my breath, count to five. He's before me now, fingers slipping between my knees for the empty glass I'm holding there. I let it go, exhale.

"You're younger than my last handmaid."

We aren't supposed to talk about her; I know this.

"Yes."

"You buy into all this or are you a rebel too?"

I open my mouth to speak, almost forgetting myself.

He raises his eyebrows at me, returns with my drink, hovers before me.

"The place isn't bugged - you can speak candidly here."

I reach for the glass - something to do with my hands, but he pulls it back, lowers his chin at me.

"I wanted to be a mother...before."

He hands over my glass now, sits beside me, knee-to-knee.

"And now?"

Tears form, tears I've swallowed back for months- aunt Lydia only allowed so long to mourn before she forced me into a doctor's office and made them confirm that I was ripe to try again.

I nod, shakily lift my drink to my mouth and swallow again.

He hangs his head for a moment, sighs. "Even in all this?" His voice isn't judgemental though, curious.

"A girl can dream," I almost laugh, slide the stupid hat from my hair.

This catches his attention and he's almost transfixed by it as I move to unclasp the pins to let it down.

"May i?"

"You never have to ask," He speaks it so softly, I almost think I've imagined it.

My fingers glide through it, tussling it gently so it falls in messy waves over my shoulders.

"And what do you dream about?" he asks in a voice that's almost whispered, almost half-asleep though his wide eyes meet mine.

"Finding a nice Commander. Getting out of this place," I scrunch up my nose, "bringing our child with us."

"Canada?"

I shrug, "anywhere but here."

"But I haven't dreamt of those things in quite a while," I wave off, then add, "and then i met you."

He coughs, pulls his hands closer to his body, settles his fingers around his drink so they're not creeping toward my hair.

"Beg pardon?"

I shrug. "I feel safe here, with you. I can rest easily. I can dream," I clarify.

"Ah," he huffs. "I don't dream anymore. Just nightmares."

My hand finds his forearm when he goes to take a final gulp of his glass. He halts, stares. This is the first time we've touched.

My fingers interlock with his and we simply sit, my fingers rubbing over his knuckles.

"Did you come in talking like this at your last placement?"

I laugh loudly. "That's hilarious."

"I thought so, too." He shoots me a soft smile.

"Why aren't you...like the others?"

"Do you want me to be?"

"No."

"Good. Because fuck that."

It's still a little jarring, hearing him speak so candidly.

"My...wife...and I..." He pauses. "She wouldn't like me behaving any differently to you girls...and...it would be an insult to her memory."

How did I get so lucky?

That night, I pray for the first time in three months. I pray for the Commander, I pray for his wife, I pray for my lost child, and I pray for myself.

The night is filled with dreams, memories returning of Commander Hillebrand and Mrs. Hillebrand's anger when I lost the baby. Reliving. If I'm not dreaming of a future, I'm reliving.

•••

My eyes shoot open and I launch to sit up in my bed.

"You were screaming," Commander Lawrence's voice hums through the darkness and I suddenly feel the weight of him on the edge of the bed. "So much for those dreams, huh?" A dry laugh.

He's about to stand but the thought of being alone in this room, my memories plaguing me...

"Will you...stay?" It's barely a whisper and I can see the shock even through the darkness.

"...yes."

And, to his credit, he does. Though, I can't sleep. He rests in the armchair beside my bed, dozes a time or two before realizing that I'm not sleeping, but staring at the doorway.

He clears his throat, stretches.

"No one's gonna come in here, you know. It's my house."

"Nothing is ours," I speak grimly. "Not here. Not even for you."

"Sheesh, you wake up so cheery."

"How can they do it?" At my question, he silences. "How can they just believe that a child is theirs, disregard our worth, force us to walk away after the feedings are done?"

It takes a long time but his response comes like a whip, "you're just a vessel to them."

"It was my baby. Mine. She had no right to mourn."

"Did they kick you out after that happened?"

I nod quietly. "As if it were my fault. They assumed it would happen again, didn't want to take a chance."

"They cast you out as infertile." He hums.

"They treated me like a murderer."

It surprises me he wanted me here.

•••

I sip my coffee, hum at the warmth, close my eyes and focus on the taste swirling around on my tongue.

When I open them back up, Lawrence is smirking at me and I shoot him an inquisitive look.

He shakes his head, lifts his own mug, "I just enjoy you enjoying things."

We both know that it's been a long 5 years without. Lawrence lived a pretty cushy existence considering, but as a handmaid I'm not granted such luxuries.

I'm again reminded of how we would look to a passerby in a world before this one - this older man and a 30-something me. But he's comfort to me. Lawrence and I can exchange a glance and understand exactly what the other is thinking. It comes with the territory of being constantly monitored in Gilead.

I can still remember laying in the Commanders bed for the first time; soft sheets, sunbeams trying to come through the closed curtains, the weight of him beside me, the dip of the bed.

When I turned to him, he'd been staring; arm propping his head up, fingers hovering above my shoulder. He looked like he'd been caught, the fear in his eyes was enough to make me almost laugh. How did I get to a point to make a Commander fearful? Wonders never cease.

I lean into his warmth, kiss his open palm, almost permission to touch me.

This is strange territory for the both of us. He, not having taken a lover since his wife, not performing a ceremony with any handmaid other than June because they were forced to. And me, not being given pleasure in 5 years.This bed is not meant for this.

He hardly ever sleeps here, I've noticed. It's either in the study or crashed on the couch.

"We're in some serious trouble," his groggy voice groaned with a soft laugh punctuating the sentence.

"Is this...going to be the last time?" I managed to whisper the question that'd been on my mind all night.

He looked haunted then.

"I'm not sure," he hums then adds, "I hope not." And I'm comforted by this.

After so long of being used sexually, steeling myself, locking this part of myself away, actually being touched because I've wanted it is such an addiction now. Thinking about only having this feeling once fills me with grief.

"You don't think Amara will talk, do you?" He knows her better than I do, but I can tell he needs this reassurance so I shake my head; his Martha shouldn't.

"You picked me," I whisper. "Why?"

He laughs without humor. "You're gonna hate me."

"No, I won't."

He sits up now, stops touching me, breaking that contact, I'm guessing, before he thinks I will eventually.

"You were a counselor. And...I lost my wife..."

I smile softly at that sentiment. "You wanted healing."

There are tears now.

"I wanted forgiveness. I wanted someone to look at me without judgement...what is that called? The term evades me..."

"-unconditional positive regard."

"I guess I was just planning on using you for something else entirely. It's not much better than the other Commanders."

I reach for him then, pull him down against my chest. "I'm grateful for you, Lawrence. It's a blessing to be here."

The tears are dripping down my naked chest, he's gasping and breaking down in sobs.

His facial hair tingles against my skin but I don't pull away, I run my fingers through his hair and give him time.

•••

I'm needy again and he's....loving it. The cocky smirk on his face when I meet him in the study is so overwhelming to me I have to hold onto the doorframe.

"Close it," he instructs. I follow orders.

But now I want to call the shots. I stride over to him, holding my dress up over my knees, padding barefoot to the desk.

"Can I help you?" He speaks evenly. I bite my lip, round the desk, wait for him to invite me to sit. He does. I hoist myself on the desk. He blinks slowly when I place my feet on the armrests of his chair.

I see him looking, though he's trying not to. I'm panty-less, exposed, shivering but not from the cold.

"Is this what you want?" His tongue darts out of his mouth to lick his lower lip.

I nod, rest my hand on his shoulder, pull him toward me and then down.

He gets on his knees and my mind flashes to that red cushion - all the times I've knelt before a ceremony.

His hands are warm on my thighs as he traces up them, grips my knees to guide me closer to the edge. His head dips down and I feel his facial hair harsh against my skin, open-mouthed kisses against me, trailing closer and closer to my cunt.

And then he spreads me, presses a thumb to my clit, dances his tongue around my folds until I'm gripping at his hair.

I don't demand a change of pace - I'm chasing any and all pleasure at this point.

He eagerly slips a finger into me, arching just right and I let out a loud gasp.

He shushes me then, moving slow, reminding me that we could be caught.

I cover my mouth when he starts pumping into me, pressing harder on my clit.

I'm fluttering around his finger in no time and he seems pretty pleased with himself, based on his expression. He looks hungry, looks flustered.

His pants are tented when he stands and I groan inwardly. It'll be too long until it's safe for us to fuck in the bedroom. Unfortunately, I know all too well.

Only he's unzipping quickly, sliding his suspenders down. My mouth goes dry. I glance over my shoulder at the closed door.

"We'll be fine," he reassures, "you just can't be loud, my girl."

It's a haunting feeling - to be content once in a while in this world.